#oh also none of the sexualities are confirmed either

[kitsunefyuu]

Did you notice how some AFO fans who used to like DFO Theory started to hate it and suddenly attack the same fans? Maybe this is due to generalizing DFO as OOC? I once saw someone saying that "to respect someone else's opinion, just remember that you have also changed your opinion several times" but these people only seem to attack what they once liked for no apparent reason, other than "nooooo my beautiful AFO is not like this 😭😭"

Yes, it is a trend that I did notice when I first came into the fandom that a lot of people would say they are former DFO. Then say how they realize how 'stupid' the theory was and unrealistic. As if suddenly now they are the pinnacle of rational and totally know everything about a fictional character.

I never claim my interpretation is the canon, because I know I could end up wrong. That just how it is and I'm always willing to adjust my headcanons with the source material. But honestly I think the AFO fans that liked DFO and now hate it only changed because other people started being hostile to the theory.

Like popular writers, artist, and all kinds of people begun to sneer at that interpretation beside those in the little community. Seeing it as just trying to 'soften' AFO or as something gross to do to the MC. Or worse some people like DFO but hate AFO so when the former DFO see that they change their mind to double down on disliking DFO as they LIKE AFO. As they see it as like you said 'softening' him to make him palatable. The theory itself, however, is only parentage.

Like it still be valid to assume AFO had Izuku with Inko from a One Night stand, and Hisashi Midoriya is just the guy that stepped up for single mom Inko. We have evidence of there possibly being more aware but if don't like it then that an option too.

DFO theory is simply the theory that Izuku Midoriya is RELATED to All for One. That is the bare bones minimum, I don't care if you are OH HE LOVES HIM or HE AN EXPERIMENT or whatever you want to believe. None of that really registers much to me nor should matter, like DFO can be used in many manner of ways.

The ones that seem to hate is most... Well they tend to either want Virgin All for One (for sexual reasons) or want him to be purely asshole(for sexual or just because love assholes that can go either way) or maybe fear of being the outsider. There also many who claim that every time he does a more evil act that it PROOF he never father a child.

Like tell me you never had a mentally unstable parent that does outrageous things. Anyone can have a kid, it sure doesn't take much for a guy to one and done for various reasons. We also literally been confirmed now he can change his face, DNA, and has actually done so. Also we've seen how he is with Yoichi, literal proof of his ability to love it just dark and twisted.

It why DFO is so interesting since if is the child of AFO it an avenue to explore his character. How WOULD AFO raise a child now that we knows what happened with Yoichi? Is he aware of Izuku? Does he care? We've seen him vault family and say how precious family is.

But then, none of that matters to the former DFO fans who now are DFO hates. They just don't want to be the weirdo outsiders believing in something that isn't even 'canon' and as I've said many times. I'm not exactly going to stop writing or enjoying it even if it NOT canon.

No one can dictate what I like and enjoy. And those people projecting hatred once they loved it?

I hope they know it ok to just like different things and change your mind. They should be happy with what they like instead of just wanting to be 'right'.

[gummy-axolotl]

"You can't ship that!! They barely interact!!

"You can't ship that!! It isn't canon!!"

"You can't ship that!! Those characters are straight!!"

I will explode you to death with laser beams

[kanmom51]

Me being a broken record

With everything that went down the past few days, I kind of feel the need to play this on repeat, so I'm going at this from another angle.

JK is not the person people are trying to paint him out to be.

This callous macho sex fiend, that at the moment, even though people keep screaming "well, he might be bi", they are actually only talking about him screwing women. And lots of them. In different places, at different times. He's a fuckboy par excellence.

And those that take that one step further also have him cheating on JM, breakup stories, make up stories, full on fanfics in the making.

I have addressed much of this here:

He also addressed some of this in last night's Stationhead.

And did the whole TikTok post and delete thingy.

I get it.

Well, part of it.

3D kind of shook some people.

It was the very obvious meaning of the song, JK singing on repeat girl, and I think the big big thing here was Jack Harlow's lyrics. I think for many the initial knee jerk reaction was to those lyrics. And I will admit, I had that same knee jerk reaction (to JH's lyrics).

I still don't like them. Whichever way you look at them, they are problematic.

But I came to live with the song, cause it's JK, cause when you listen to it on repeat you just can't get rid of it (🤣), cause I like his performance (yes, including the certain very sexual moves. Hey, I'm no prude), and cause I just tend to listen to the alternative version and when I have the clip running on YT phase out from the rap (cause I just don't like it).

But for many, as I got to discover after this whole shitshow blew up, JK singing girl in a song for which he did not even write the lyrics is all it took to throw away everything people saw and knew about Jikook and JK in behaviour and interactions over the past 10 years. For that.

Forget the y/ns. All they needed and were waiting for was that kind of confirmation. They didn't need anything more than JK saying that one word. The choreo being sexual added, of course. It being sexual either way making no difference. Either way meaning every single move that was considered sexual can be applied to either male or female!!!

Oh, and there was this:

But you see, this is what actually happened:

By the by, big deal. Big deal JK does the thrusts in the choreo. Big deal JK did that flicking of the hand. Even if he did it only not to leave Brian hanging, literally. He is an adult, and do I remind that JM did the same in the recording of their Idol MV? Him doing all of this doesn't make him into what people are trying to paint him to be.

So, we were at this point where people that were supposed to have JK's back, in the sense that even if they had doubt the least they could have done was not to continue to spread it, and with every tweet or post add a little more conjecture and assumption, none of it based in facts, didn't. Have his back in the sense of perhaps stepping back for a second and waiting to see where the stones fall, didn't. See if there is a statement, if JK says something, they didn't. There was a clear intent in the timing of these clips and pics. Posting them just after the release of the song and during Chuseok, so it takes time for whoever it is that needs or wants to take action. So it gives time for it to spread. And it did. Not with Karmy. Cause they had JK's back. Not with Chinese army, cause they were fighting the claims for authenticity of the clips, fighting the claims of harassment that were also raised against him. This was a coordinated targeted attack. And instead of having his back, I-army just went with it. Spreading it. Defending the authenticity of it. Yes, there were cries for breach of privacy. All while continuing to spread the clip over sm.

We don't know these young men fully. We also don't know what they do with their time. We get maybe a 0.01% of it now. Before we got more. The early years we got a shit ton. Not everything. But enough to see who they are as human beings. The good and the bad. And NOTHING that we got over the years, and even more so through the maybe somewhat tainted Jikook glasses indicates JK to be that person that he was painted out to be in the past few days.

The man that talked about being with that one person for life. The man that believes in destiny. The man that arranged and paid for a trip for JM to Japan knowing he was struggling at that time, going on that trip with him, doing what JM wanted to do, even when it wasn't necessarily what he would have chosen to have done (remember RM and Jhope's conversation about JM dragging JK around Malta?). The man that made that HUGE statement at RB. We all focus on the ear sucking, but this was way more than that. JK enveloping JM, whispering something in his ear. Kissing his ear. Then sucking it, kissing it again and then comforting him, helping him up and just being by his side. This is the man that fucking tattooed JM's name on his hand for all to see. That tattooed a moon on his shoulder. That tattooed an eclipse on his arm. This is the man that during a LV concert looking at JM, talking to JM, said "I LOVE YOU", out loud, for all of us to hear. And if, by any chance, he wasn't aware the mic was still on for all of us to hear, wouldn't that have been even WAY louder? No realising we are hearing him saying it to JM, that it was meant for his ears only. This is a man that has dedicated almost full lives to JM. Listening to and singing his songs, watching JM content adoringly.

All that and so so much more.

Enter a grainy clip with faces literally white washed, a couple of more either badly edited clips and pics and all is forgotten. JK is the ultimate playboy. Multiple girlfriends (what name wasn't attached to him?).

And when JK denies having a gf then it's: "but the clip is old" or "doesn't mean he doesn't sleep around".

Instead of listening to him.

You think he doesn't know when this is supposed to be from? The clip. For god's sake, the dog being there was what everyone latched onto. So he knows. And he said I don't have a gf but was talking about THAT clip. You expected him to say "yes I saw the clip, I didn't have a gf then"? No. This is what he could do. And again, instead of listening to him, what he's trying to tell us: NO GF, NO NEED FOR ONE, people are about trying to see why the clip could still be legitimate, authentic, and/or why it doesn't mean he isn't sleeping around.

Perhaps that's why he felt the need to comeback with his ever so loud TikTok post and delete.

Anyway, me ranting again.

[possiblylando]

Chainsaw Man Chapter 139 'Early' Analysis

Finally we're back into the fun chapters.

So this is a bit of interesting confirmation as to what happened at the end of Part 1. As a recap Pochita separated from Denji and become the Black Chainsaw man.

This confirms that the Hybrids that fought Pochita all retained the memories of the events. It also makes the weird Makima self insert fanfiction even more weird. Based on what Miri (Sword Man) says about regaining his freedom after Makima's death, they all seemed to be completely aware of their actions but unable to fight against them.

He MADE them say this shit. They are all aware of this having happened. THEY WERE AWARE WHILE THEY WERE FORCED TO PLAY THIS SHIT OUT! Fucking Nightmare scenario. Glad Denji ate her.

We get a name of Sword Man, Miri Sugo. We also get some more of his personality. I'm sure there will be speculation as to his sexuality because he's a character in chainsaw man.

What I do wanna touch on is this. I've seen a few interpretations of this line. It's a weirder one because it's clearly referencing the fact Miri's design is a reused version of Denji's beta versions.

But it could also mean they find Denji attractive. BUT it could also be a meta reference to the fact they're both hybrids, So they have similar "Auras" or something like that. I actually didn't remember who the student council president was so I had to look it up, And it's fucking Iseumi.

and honestly, I can kind of see how a combination of him and Denji would make Miri. Miri took Iseumi's eyes and hair color while he took the hair and head shape from Denji. Sorta interesting.

This whole scene strikes me as weird from a fandom perspective. Either people use it to say, "Miri is gay" or "Miri hates women". When in reality it doesn't seem to be either (for now). He literally stated moments ago that he didn't want to be bothered by anyone and these three girls come up and start bugging him with questions and requests he doesn't want to deal with. Most people would be annoyed as hell if this scenario happened to them. Denji obviously doesn't get this and is just mad that he's getting female attention.

I'm going to assume that this is still Denji hustling and this SEX OFFENDER paid him. I REALLY hope that he didn't just let her do this for free. We get full confirmation that the Weapon Hybrids are alive. We don't have confirmation as to which, Just that some of them are. I assume this probably means all the hybrids that fought against Pochita are alive.

oh I HATEEEEEEE how she gets along with Denji.

This woman needs to get the fuck off this MINOR

As much as I despise this woman, She has a point. Fami and some unknown figure have been puppeteering the Church (how realistic) for at least the past few days. It's likely been going on since the church was founded since we see Fami with the devil hunter club.

We get a look at Denji's full speed. This means Denji was able to perception blitz Miri to appear in front of him without him noticing. This means that Denji was able to move at approximately Mach 32. All of this is real look none of this up Denji solos demon slayer or whatever fuckin power scaling bullshit.

Looks like the next few chapters will be built around the church. It also likely means we'll be seeing Reze soon. If Asa is also there, I hope this doesn't turn into some wack love triangle shit. I REALLY hope Reze isn't like "You were trying to date other girls while you thought I was dead??". I have faith Fujimoto will handle it well but it has an un-ignorable chance to becoming fucking awful.

[lucyandthepen]

a lesson on style - v . [ ljn | njm ]

pt. i, pt. ii, pt. iii, pt. iv.,  pt. v, pt. vi

you’ve always been content with being associated with one word and one word only: average. average in looks, academics and social skills, you’re just looking to graduate high school without causing disasters you’ll have to live with until you kick the bucket. when you’re paired with school king lee jeno for the semester-long physics thesis, you can’t help but think the entire situation has pretty much set itself up for failure. that is, until you strike a deal with your partner. alternatively: an au tale involving lessons in popularity, eleven consecutive B­ minuses, a secretly sensitive, chess­-loving jock, and an amateur sex tape.

pairing: jeno x fem!reader, jaemin x fem!reader    verse: high school au { jocks!nomin ft. a super cute whiny ap physics genius renjun }  rating: M for sexual themes ( there are allusions to sex but no explicit smut! ) chapter warnings: none!  word count: 10.9k

author’s note: is this twice as long as any other chapter? yes. do i believe it might be twice as devastating? also yes. side note, i sincerely hate proofreading and the thing i hate the most is trying to figure out where i applied italics and stuff because it doesn’t transfer over from google docs to this gosh darn tumblr text editor and i refuse to use the weird beta one so if anyone has any ideas on how to retain it please lmk :^(

tagging: @justalildumpling, @spiderrenjunfics

It’s a yes or no question, you tell yourself. It’s literally one answer, one word — yes or no. And you don’t even have to second-guess it, because you know the truth, and it’s not a complicated one. It shouldn’t be that difficult to answer.  With Jeno looking at you, though, you feel a little off-kilter, as per usual. Still, even with his gaze on you, you think that your response should be as normal, calm, and truthful as possible.

What comes out of you is a derisive laugh that clearly shocks the both of you.

“Wh — dating you — I wouldn’t — that’s preposterous,” you splutter out, gripping your laptop so tightly that you actually hear the bottom of I make a soft sound as the metal tightens. You’ve never used the word preposterous in any real life conversation, and it’s clear Jeno hasn’t heard it in a similar context either because he looks at you weird.  

“I mean, I’m not saying I’m mad about it,” he goes on. “I’m just wondering why he’d say that, unless you said something.”

“He — I — he — he’s crazy. All smart people are loopy,” you laugh again, and it sounds even grosser this time, with your voice going up really high and breathy like you’re being strangled to death. Which, come to think of it, you’re pretty much doing to yourself, figuratively. “That had no basis whatsoever. I would — I would never. Ever.”

“Never… date me?” His eyebrows shoot up so high they almost touch his hairline.

“Yes! I mean — no, no! I mean, I would definitely not say that we were dating when we’re obviously—” you laugh derisively again, which just causes Jeno to look even more confused. “We are clearly, obviously, clearly not. Not dating.”

“Obviously,” he repeats simply.

“Yes. That’s… I mean, obviously, I would date you, like in the hypothetical way, because… I mean, why not? but we — you know. We’re not. Dating. Definitely not.” Your heart rate, thankfully, is starting to decline from the thousand beats per second it had been going in; Jeno’s eyebrows are also calming down. “Right?”

“Right,” he confirms slowly.

“Right. So. I didn’t say we were to him. Or anyone. Nothing.”

“Oh, okay,” he finally says after a moment of silence. “That was just… plain out of the blue, then.”

“Totally,” you agree wholeheartedly. “So, so weird.”  

“Okay,” he shifts his position now, turning more deliberately towards you; you instinctively grip your laptop tighter, pressing it harder against your stomach. The bottom corners dig in, and in your peripheral vision, you can see that you’ve been pressing the A key down for so long that you have an AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA in your chat box with Renjun and he’s typed out a very concerned and confused WHAT IS TAKING YOU SO LONG TO TYPE. You move your thumb away from the keypad. “Sorry for the sudden question. I just wanted to clarify because, you know, I don’t want anyone else to think we are yet, or anything. And I definitely don’t want Huang Renjun attacking me for the wrong things, considering his track record.”

Your heart suddenly skids to a stop at the yet. He’d said it so offhandedly you were sure he wasn’t giving it much thought, but to you, this kind of felt like one of those weird, fever-induced dreams you had, except it seemed to be going fairly well as long as you didn’t factor in just how much you’d blubbered just now.  

“Um. Right,” is all you can say.

“That being said,” he jams his hat back onto his head, which is ludicrous considering he’s inside, but it just makes him look cuter, and you’ve never minded that. “Thanks for saying you’d date me. Hypothetically.”

“Oh — that. Right. You’re welcome,” you reply, and you desperately want to ask if he’d also hypothetically date you, but you sort of also don’t really want to know the answer. In the moment that it takes for you to tell your brain to quiet down, he claps his hands, startling you a little.

“All right. So. Project. Proposal. Graduating.” He points to your laptop, and you nod vehemently, shifting it against your stomach a little to make sure he doesn’t see the chat box with Renjun. “Let’s get to it, then.”

You hurriedly exit your internet browser and open a blank Word document. It kicks off slowly, with you taking a good fifteen minutes to format the title page because you’re not sure which citation style to use and also because you can’t stop thinking about the previous conversation, which causes you to misspell both your names wrongly. Luckily, Jeno doesn’t say anything, even though he clearly sees your blunders; the fact that he is clearly attempting to be interested (or pretending really well to be) in getting things done allows you to pick up a slightly more comfortable pace of discussion later on. He even agrees to do a lot of the supposed heavy lifting in the experimentation phase, which involves playing musical instruments, and you volunteer to do the mathematical work, which is the only thing you think you’ll be able to do in that part of the experiment anyway.  

Everyone in your house is up at this time, so it gets increasingly louder as the hours move on. There’s some kind of intermittent yelling coming from your brothers’ room that could either be Jiho gaming or Jiho getting strangled, but no one seems too alarmed apart from Jeno, who learns to let it go once you tell him that your other brother is in there with him and is probably the one strangling him, if the latter scenario is true. Either way, your dad comes out, banging on their room door to keep it down, which adds to more of the noise pollution.

Sooyeon also makes it down later than everyone else, dressed but still clearly out of sorts, stopping mid-yawn when she sees you and Jeno sitting together as you’re trying to drag out an explanation of what the significance of the study is.

“Oh. Good morning,” she sidles over to you, sitting on the arm of the couch next to you to peek over your shoulder at your laptop; you know she’s not really interested in your work, but her inherent nosiness makes her acting so natural. “What are you guys working on?”

“Physics term project.”

“Oh, right. You mentioned you guys were partners. How’s it going?”

“It’s going… well. Fine.” You bend your laptop’s monitor down halfway so she stops looking.

“Oh, I know you,” Jeno suddenly snaps his fingers, pointing his finger at her. Your sister looks up, beaming. “You’re on the cheerleading team. I’ve been trying to figure out who you look like since last year,” he turns to you, amused. “Can’t believe it took me this long. Small world. Hey, how come you’re not on the cheerleading team?”

“Because she wouldn’t give up Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo for late-night cheer practice,” your sister reasons out for you before you can find a cooler (and less honest) excuse. “Hey, dad’s taking me to the mall. Do you need anything? We’re also picking up lunch, so Jeno oppa, if you’re staying for lunch, the cuisine choice is all yours.”

“Raincheck,” you deflate at Jeno’s response. “I’m supposed to be having lunch with my sister. Thanks for the offer, though.”

“Can you get me a new USB drive?” You weigh in. “And not the crappy Daiso kind.”

“Okay. Text me so I don’t forget. Not now,” Sooyeon pushes down your hand before you can pick up your phone. “Wait ten minutes, then text me. Hey, dad, can we get tangsuyuk today?”

Your dad is by the door, two brothers in tow, having probably convinced them to leave the house as well, and Sooyeon joins them, pushing them all out hurriedly. You don’t miss the fact that she winks at you just before closing the door, and you resist waving her away.

“You… have a really big family.” Jeno finally speaks up again once you’re alone.

“Yeah. Sorry. It would have been worse if my mom were here. She might have tried to adopt you.”

“Jaemin’s mom technically has first dibs,” he lifts a hand to his face, rubbing his eyes a little aggressively. “Do you think we can call time of death on this for today? My eyes are falling out of my skull.”

“Sure; I can finish up the conclusion anyway. It’s just… repeating everything we said, but really fast. I’ll just e-mail you a copy for safety.” You save the document as he nods, working your trackpad so you can open your NAVER mail account and attach the file. Your fingers hover over the keyboard, suddenly feeling like an idiot. “Uh… sorry, but I just realized I don’t have your e-mail address.”

“Oh. Yeah,” he reaches out, and you retract your hands quickly, planting them firmly onto your lap. He starts typing away, pressing send and turning the laptop back to you with a satisfied groan. “Cool. So — serious question. Why aren’t you on the cheerleading team if your sister is?”

“Well, I was going to come up with a great excuse, but since I got ratted out — I don’t really like staying in school late. Plus, they practice on rainy days, which is not my thing.”

“I mean, we do too on the football team, and it’s usually fine. It’s weird; do you not dance? Or… I don’t know, cheer, or whatever?”

“I mean, I don’t fail PE, or anything. I just… never had the interest.” You admit, shutting down your laptop.

“I could talk to Jimin — you know, the captain? We’re pretty close.” He pauses, then adds an afterthought. “She’s dating one of the other guys on my team.”

“Who?”

“I’ve told you about Jisung, right? That enormous tree of a guy with the small face?”

“Kind of weird for a guy as tall as you to call a similarly tall guy a tree…” you trail off, and he laughs — laughs! Score for your unintended humor. “But yeah, I’ve seen him around.”

“Yeah, so they’re a thing. Anyway, what was I sayi — oh, yeah. If you want me to talk to her, give you a shot at it, I think she’d be open to it. You don’t have to be a gymnast or anything, I’m pretty sure.”

“That’s a really nice gesture, but I’ll pass.”

Jeno sighs, leaning back onto the couch and lifting one of his legs to cross it casually over his knee. He looks at you disapprovingly, which is a little terrifying until you realize he’s feigning it because his lips are curling up a little. So cute. “Come on, _______________. Okay — lesson number one.”

“What?” You’re at a loss, and you don’t bother hiding it this time. “Lesson?”

“I told you I’d help you get more popular, right?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think we were having lectures and quizzes.”

“No quizzes,” he corrects you. “Lectures, very brief. Five minutes tops. I have no time to grade anything.”

“Well let me just—” you grab your phone, trying to navigate to the voice memos app, but he takes it from you and plants it back onto the table. You note how his fingers brush yours briefly, leaving you frozen, your hand still shaped around a phone that isn’t in your grasp anymore.

“No need to record anything. Note taking is for nerds. Just listen to me. Be in the moment. Absorb it,” he instructs. “First lesson in being popular: don’t turn down things that will make you more popular.”

“Okay, that one was fairly obv — what are you doing?”  

“I’m texting,” he really is, unlocking his phone and scrolling through his contacts before he starts tapping away on his phone screen. “I told you; I’m sure Jimin will be more than happy to —“

“Wait — okay, stop, stop,” it’s your turn to seize his phone from him, but you don’t do so very smoothly, and it ends up falling midway from him to you, wedging itself into a crack in your couch cushions. Jeno doesn’t really seem like he minds in particular, but he does offhandedly reprimand you for it.

“You’re being a horrible student.”

“I’m not — look, no, thank you for… you know, going the extra mile to ask for me,” you fish his phone out of the couch, making sure to exit the messaging app. “But I can’t join the cheerleading team.”

“Why not? It’ll make you infinitely cooler. Is it because your sister’s on it? Because we can get her kicked out if you really want —“

“Wh— no, I don’t want my sister kicked out!” You raise your voice in tandem with your palm, and he desists, a little surprised at how loud you’ve gotten. “I’m just saying that it’s the last semester of high school. There’s no point in me joining. I won’t even last a full year on that team.”

Jeno falls silent, suddenly struck by the logic in your words. “Huh. I guess you’re right. I didn’t think about that.”

Now that you feel like it’s kind of safe, you perch his phone back onto his thigh, and he takes it, slipping it between his legs without a second thought. You try hard not to think about how his phone may have brushed against his… never mind.

“So I… you know, I appreciate what you wanted to do for me. Really; it was… extremely cool of you,” you say with utmost sincerity. “But as a plan, I feel like… there might be better ones.”

“That’s true,” he agrees. “But the lesson still stands. The things I recommend that you do, I really feel like you should do them.”

“I promise this’ll be the last time I reject your suggestions.”

“Cool. Well — we just have to think about what else we could do to help you get up that ladder.” He looks up at your ceiling, a little wistful, and you feel so useless that you just busy yourself with shutting your laptop down. This sudden silence drags on until he snaps your fingers and you start, turning your attention back to him. “Oh, I know. You can come to this party I’m throwing next week.”

“You’re throwing a party?”

“Yeah. I just thought about doing it. Like, right now.”

This time, you don’t even have to try to push away the idea that he’d just thought to throw a party for you; a surge of unpleasant memories arises to do the job. The last party you’d been to was back in middle school, and it had ended with you skidding across the floor because someone had puked on it. You were only lucky that the extremely furious parents who actually owned the house and didn’t know that there would be a party in their living room had caught you before you’d broken something of theirs.

You remember Jeno had been there. He was in a different section at that time, and you’d never spoken with him; in fact, you’re fairly certain you hadn’t known his name back then. But even so, he was still the coolest kid in attendance. Everyone liked that kid that was extremely tall and good-looking and also knew how to play the electric piano.

“That’s… cool.” You inhale a little reluctantly, and Jeno cottons on, looking at you warily. “It’s just… you know. Parties. They get messy. People get drunk. Puke. Make out.”

“Yeah. That’s what they’re for.”

“Not really my scene. Especially the puking part.”

“Oh god, I remember I was at this party once in middle school. Some kid had puked in the middle of the living room and some other poor chick had slipped on it. Hilarious.”

“Ha,” you feign laughter, and it sounds disgustingly dry. “Hilarious, yeah. Can’t remember that happening, but I’m sure that was super funny.”

“Come on. It’ll be fine. Besides, you said you wouldn’t reject any of the other stuff I recommended.” He tilts his head like he’s asking, but his face is pretty resolute. You wring your hands together, and he notices. “If I promise to make a no-puke rule, will you go?”

You know he’s doing this because he’s fulfilling a part of the bargain; it’s really more of an obligation to him than anything else, and that much is clear. Still, the way he talks, the way that he presses the subject makes it really easy to trick yourself into thinking he actually, really, really wants you there, which creates this huge, almost terrifying and overwhelming wave of elation that muddles you into agreement.

“Okay. I’ll go.” He smiles at your response, and the feeling in your chest just swells to a new height; it’s almost like he’s happy you’re going, or you can at least delude yourself into thinking that much.

“Awesome. I’ll let you know about the details, although it’ll probably be at Jaemin’s.”

You point to the opposite side of your house, in the general direction of your neighbor’s lot. “That Jaemin?”

“The one and only.”

“I guess it’s cool if I don’t have to look for a ride.”

“You can still hop into my car. Make a grand entrance. People will love that.”

“That’s okay,” you laugh again, but this time, it sounds genuine, to your relief. “But is Jaemin going to be okay with it? His parents?”

“Yeah, it’ll be fine. They all love me,” he chuckles. “Jaemin won’t say no, anyway. It’s not like we can have it at my place.”

“Why… not?” You suddenly get flashbacks of Jaemin calling you nosy, but you shake him and his loud laugh off once Jeno starts talking.

“Too small. Not good for entertaining. You guys would probably have to eat dinner in my bedroom.” He says lightly, jamming his cap back onto his head just as his phone starts ringing, a light blinking from in between his thighs. He looks down at his phone briefly before turning his attention back to his cap, making sure his bangs aren’t flattened by the rim. “That’s my sister. I’m supposed to pick her up from work. I have to get going, but hey — I’ll see you next week?”

“Yeah, definitely,” you stand with him, and he grabs his backpack before patting his pockets to make sure if he has everything valuable to him. You walk him to the door, opening it for him, and he steps out into your driveway, walking towards his car. You stand by the doorway, hugging your laptop. The assumption is that he’s just going to drive off, but he turns around as he opens the driver’s side door, pointing a finger at you like he’s just remembered something. You freeze in place, once again squishing your laptop close to you so hard that it makes a noise.

“You should probably text your sister about that USB drive, by the way.” he reminds you with a small smile before folding his enormous body and climbing into the car.

You don’t even have the opportunity to say anything because he’s shut the door behind him. Through the tinted glass, you see one pale palm move; it takes you a second to realize he’s waving at you. Your hand instantly shoots up, waving back at him as he pulls out of the driveway and back into the road.  

You wait for his car to zoom out of sight before you close the door, red in the face and ready to explode with joy.

Lee Donghyuck gives you back your proposals with a smile on his face near the end of the next physics class. Technically, he smiles like that all the time because he’s required to, but his grin looks a lot more genuine as he approaches you with your proposal, which Jeno takes from him.

“Cool topic,” he even comments, pointing a finger to the huge B-minus on top of the paper that’s circled in red ink. “You guys need to work a little on the content development, though, but it’s just the proposal. If you guys work even harder on other requirements, you’ll ace it.”

You seriously don’t think he expects you to actually ace anything, but you appreciate the quick pep talk, especially since Jeno actually looks impressed.

“I would have never thought I would have gotten a B-minus in anything for this class,” he whistles under his breath. You smile at him, not bothering to add the fact that B-minus isn’t as breathtaking of an achievement. Still, you think that if you can push each other — and also maybe Renjun into helping you out here and there — you might at least secure him a slot into the graduating class.  

You’ve gotten used to parting ways with everyone else in the class to have lunch together with Renjun, and even on days when Physics classes fall before lunch, you only linger a minute longer than usual to accord Jeno the traditional gaze of longing that he doesn’t notice before dashing off. This time, though, as you’re gathering your books and making to leave, Jeno stands up with you, slinging his bag over his shoulder.  

And there they are — the words you’ve always wanted to hear from him. Well, some of them.

“Want to walk to the cafeteria together?”

You look around to make sure he’s not calling out to anyone else, which becomes clear once you realize the only other person who’s left behind is Lee Donghyuck, and he doesn’t even turn at the sound of Jeno’s voice.

“Really?” You can’t even mask the elation in your voice, which just spikes when you see the corners of Jeno’s lips turn up slightly in amusement. “Yeah — yeah, okay.”

No one actually looks at you while you walk next to him in the cafeteria; the probability is that his height eclipses yours so much that you don’t even look that noticeable, and neither of you is causing a scene, which is always a great bonus. You have to take two steps for every one of his, but you also notice that he’s taking a much slower pace than usual, which can only mean that he’s making sure you can keep up.

You spot Renjun at your usual table, reading Lee Ho Cheol’s Panmunjeom anthology, which he’d posted about on his Facebook status over the weekend. The feeling of being able to like his statuses again was fairly nice, and you’d given it the little heart reaction. On instinct, your feet carry you towards him until you feel a warm hand wrap around your forearm. It covers more than half of that part of your arm, so it can’t be anyone’s but Jeno’s, and you look up in total shock as he stares down at you with equally strong confusion.

“Where are you going?” He asks, genuinely perplexed.

“What… are you doing…” you breathe out, feeling a little faint. He doesn’t notice that you look like you’re close to drooling on him since he’s starting to steer you away from Renjun. “What…”

“Table’s this way,” he says plainly, like this should be obvious to you. You can see that he’s headed towards where he normally sits, which is already filled with people, laughing loudly and talking over one another. You jerk your head back to Renjun, who has noticed you now and is watching you with an unreadable expression over the top of his book, half of his face hidden.

“Um — yeah, but I just thought —“

“Okay, so second lesson — don’t write this down,” he stops you from reaching into your pocket to bring out a pen. “If you want to be popular, you need to make sure you surround yourself with equally popular people.”

“Are these rules stuff you just sort of make up on the go, or…?”

He gives you an amused and patronizing look. “Obviously.”

“Okay — okay, but can’t Renjun sit with us?”

“He can if he’s not just going to ignore everyone by reading his book. Or if he’s not going to make any mean comments about anyone.”

You open your mouth, ready to promise he’s not going to, but you’re struck by the realization that he might just sit there and finish Panmunjeom without even saying hello. Even if he didn’t, you can’t guarantee that Renjun will be pleasant around everyone being noisy all at once about things he doesn’t really care about. Being pleasant around one person — Jeno — is already kind of a herculean task for him.  

“Yeah, okay, fine. But can’t I at least tell him I’m sitting here?”

Jeno slowly releases your hand, nodding. You try not to make it too obvious that you’re disappointed at how quickly that moment of contact had come and gone. “Yeah, okay. I’ll get my food and save you a seat, then.”

You wait for him to walk towards the cafeteria line, noticing that a couple of freshmen give way so he can go first; you can tell he smiles at them because they giggle as he walks by and grabs a tray. Making a beeline for Renjun, you also see that he suddenly lifts his book higher to cover his face, probably to hide the fact that he hasn’t flipped a page since.

“Hey,” you say, and he puts the book down, looking disgustingly innocent in his fake surprise.

“Hey. When did you get here?”

“Just now,” you slip into the chair across from him. “What’s for lunch?”

“Something they say is bulgogi but might be yesterday’s fake steaks cut into really thin pieces.”

“Okay, cool,” you don’t even look at the bowl when he tilts it your way so you can see. “Anyway, um, I really hope you don’t mind, but Jeno asked me to sit with him today for lunch.”

“Oh.” Renjun takes a bit of bulgogi on his fork, examining it with feigned interest before popping it into his mouth, chewing slowly. “I see.”

“It’s just for today. I promise. Are you — is that okay?”

He studies your expectant face, thumb brushing over the spine of his book. Your fingers are knotted on the table like you’re praying.

“Yeah, it’s okay,” he finally concedes. “I said I’d support you… so… this is me. Supporting. You. The both of you. If that’s already a thing.”

“It’s not, but you’re the best,” you reach out, giving his hand a squeeze. He mutters something that sounds like I know, taking his hand back and using it to shut his book.  

“But we’re still going to see Love and Thunder  this Saturday, right?” He confirms.  

“Ye— oh, wait,” his expression darkens considerably when you backtrack, looking a little sheepish. “I think I might have something to do over the weekend, so I can’t really make any promises right now.”

“Dude, seriously? It’s the movie of the year. What could be more important than three hours of Marvel hero ass-kicking?”

“Well, it’s just,” you drum your fingers against the table, trying to think of a less direct way to phrase such a basic statement. You come up with nothing, so you just come clean. “There’s a party…”

“You hate parties,” Renjun replies immediately. “You’ve haven’t been to one since middle school.”

“I know that, but —“

“Do you? Does it make sense that you know that you hate parties but are thinking of going to one anyway?”

“Well — you know. Jeno invited me.”

Renjun makes a slightly sour face, but it isn’t directed at you; he’s looking at Jeno, probably, seated a little way away. You turn to look apologetically at him, but you notice that he’s already looking your way, his eyes narrowed in effort like he’s trying to read your lips from this distance but can’t.

“What if something bad happens? Parties aren’t exactly the safest, cleanest, least traumatic events in the world,” Renjun points out. “You could turn someone’s house into a puke slip ’n slide again.”

“Or,” you raise a finger. “Is this the party I could go to so that I can forget about that event that happened ages ago and, thus, free myself from that trauma?”

“Thus? What is happening to you?” He shakes his head, fingers coming up to knead at his brow. “But — so no Love and Thunder?”  

“We can go the day after.”

“You’re not going to be too hungover?”

“No, of course not. Besides, it’s going to be at Jaemin’s house. If it gets too much, I can just walk home.” You can see he’s softening at the mention of it being in a nearby location and not in like, some abandoned warehouse. “Plus, you can come. You know, we can have fun together. Just… eat, dance a little, mingle. It’ll be fine.”

“Am I allowed to come?”

“Of course,” you don’t know if there’s a guest list, or anything, but Renjun seems to get along with most people in your level as long as their names don’t start with a J and end with a eno. “Please? We can even walk there together.”

“It’s like twenty steps from your house, so it’s really not the appealing case you think you’re making.” He sighs. “Fine, fine. I’ll go. And we can watch Love and Thunder the next day. But I’m holding you to that.”  

“Awesome,” your heart feels infinitely lighter, and Renjun even gives you a half-hearted grin. “Great — so, I’ll just — you know —“ you point towards Jeno’s table; Renjun nods slowly, picking up his book again.

“Yes, yes. Go on,” he shoos you away, once again pretending to grow immersed in his book, even though you know he’s snorting to himself when you give him an excited thumbs up before leaving the table.

You even feel like there’s a small skip to your step when you walk to the line, and the grin never leaves your lips as you get your tray and pile what really does look like fake bulgogi on your plate; the cafeteria lady is surprised by your expression, considering you’re surrounded by generally somber ones, and she mistakes your smile as you being excited to eat the food and tells you to take more. Somehow, you’re in such a good mood that you do, which earns some alarmed stares from the people behind you.

The conversation is in full swing when you approach Jeno’s table, and your heart jumps a little when you’ve noticed that he’s kept his word and saved a seat for you — right beside him, no less. His food is half-finished, and he’s talking to Park Jisung about what sounds like some massive multiplayer online shooting game, but he stops when you sit down.

“You guys don’t know _______________, right?” He addresses the whole table; a whole set of eyes lands on you suddenly as his voice rings louder than everyone else’s. “She’s my physics project partner.”

“Of course we know her,” the girl to Jisung’s right, Jimin, pipes up. “We don’t live under a rock, and we’re almost all in the same year, dumbass.”

“I was just announcing it for Jisung’s and Minjeong’s sakes,” Jeno fires back easily. “Who, by the way, aren’t in the same year level.”

“Well, address them specifically next time,” she laughs. “Hey, _____________.”

“Hello,” despite your excitement, your voice comes out way smaller than normal, and it even cracks, which causes you to clear your throat, a feat that mysteriously causes most people to laugh.  

“I know Jimin noona is dazzling to everyone,” Jisung says. “But just for the record, she’s taken. By me. Obviously.”

You stare at him, a little dumbfounded, as Jeno tosses a wilted leaf of lettuce at his face. It doesn’t even make it to the halfway point of the gap the table makes between them. Jisung sticks out his tongue childishly.

“Anyways, I told you guys earlier that we were having a party, this weekend, right?” He points at Jaemin, who, until now, has been quietly wrapping his bulgogi into his lettuce and stuffing them whole into his mouth. “Your house, dude.”

Jaemin rolls his eyes good-naturedly, still in the middle of chewing his food, but he takes one big gulp to respond. “Did you even ask me?”

“Does he ever?” Jisung contributes, amused. “Jeno hyung, why can’t we ever have parties at your place? Jaemin hyung’s house has like ten million pictures of his family that we might break.”  

“Okay, fine; my house. You guys better pull food weight this time, though,” Jaemin agrees suddenly, like he hadn’t been indignant a moment ago. Jeno looks satisfied with this response, not bothering to answer Jisung’s question, which is a little weird; you’d assumed that everyone he was close to also knew of the reason why he never held any events at his house considering the answer he’d given you when you’d asked the same thing had been so simplistic. You don’t take the time to dwell on this, however, since Jeno speaks up.

“I’ll bring the drinks,” he volunteers before adding, “Ice included, Jisung.” The latter makes a face at him, and everyone laughs again, and you presume it’s some inside joke. You smile for a second before you realize it probably seems disingenuous.

It’s weird, you think, that they’re so comfortable around each other, even with their seemingly different personalities. It had always just been you and Renjun, which suited you just fine, but it’s also robbed you of the opportunity to figure out how to interact in a much larger, more outgoing crowd, which is a missed opportunity you’re feeling the effects of now. People start piping up about what they’re going to bring, with Jisung getting a small smack upside the head from Jimin after he volunteers (again, apparently) to bring utensils and “himself, which is gift enough.”

“What should I bring?” You whisper to Jeno.

“Nothing,” he sounds surprisingly sincere and reassuring, not to mention he matches the volume of your voice somehow, making it seem like you’re having your own private conversation. “Just come and have fun.”

“Okay,” you half-wheeze, and he smiles down at you before rejoining the conversation, responding immediately when Jaemin speaks up.

“This time, you guys seriously need to stay away from my bedroom. And my brother’s. And my parents’. Actually, what I’m really saying is that you people need to unlearn how to use stairs.”

“You’re really going to deny your room any action?” Jeno fires back easily.

“I don’t want to go to sleep on a bed someone else made out on,” Jaemin sighs, in a heavy way that somehow causes you to think he’s probably been through it more than once before.

“No one just makes out on a bed.”

“We’re in school, Jeno. You know what I mean.”

“We’ve made out on a bed,” Jisung wiggles a finger between himself and Jimin, who tells him to shut up, something he does almost immediately, even if he and Jeno exchange a high five that creates a sound so loud you’re surprised there’s no physical aftershock.

“________________, Minjeong and I were going to go to the mall on Saturday morning,” Jimin calls your attention underneath Jeno and Jisung’s long arms. “Want to come with? We can have lunch together, too.”

“Oh — yeah, sure,” you agree, and she smiles so brightly and sweetly at you that you blush. Jisung was right about the dazzling thing, then.

“Cool. Text me your address and we can come pick you up.”

You spend the rest of your lunch mostly listening and learning about these people, and you’re somewhat thankful they don’t put you in the hot seat and just interrogate you about yourself. You find out that Minjeong’s trying to get her driver’s license soon, and Jisung had actually been interested in joining an entertainment company as an idol trainee before he’d found out that they confiscate your phone for years, something that ended up being a dealbreaker for him. You learn that Jimin is applying for a English Comparative Literature undergraduate degree in Seoul National University, which Jisung says is inexplicably both “the hottest and the most boring thing about her.”  

The weirdest thing you learn about this band of friends comes up when Jaemin suddenly stands, saying goodbye to everyone hurriedly before rushing off with his plate. No one finds this weird except you, so you bring it up.

“Oh, Jaemin hyung is on the chess team. He has practice during lunch once a week,” Jisung informs you when you ask.

“He’s on the what?” You glance at Jaemin, who’s walking out of the cafeteria at a brisk pace.

“The chess team,” he repeats without any further explanation. You look at Jeno, who shrugs at you.

“Yeah, he likes that stuff. Everyone in our year is a big nerd.”

“Except you and me,” you add, and his lips turn up again, seemingly pleased with your statement. There it is again — your heart flipping over and screaming wildly.  

“Exactly. Except you and me.”

You don’t actually expect Jimin to follow through with her shopping invite, but she actually ends up texting you on Saturday morning instead of the other way around, asking for your address again after saying that she’d gotten your number from Jeno. You’re so out of sorts when they arrive not ten minutes later that you actually have to double back for your wallet and your phone.  

Jimin has almost always been in a separate section from you in school, while Minjeong is a whole year below you, and they’re also extremely close, so you’d never really gotten the chance to know them, and your expectation is that this excursion is going to be an awkward and pitiful event. They end up being really nice, though, and Minjeong even asks you about your physics project with a tone of genuine interest, commenting about how Jeno is exceptionally good at playing the guitar. You also naturally assume that they’re going to just mill around the boutique area for clothes, but Jimin actually drags you around to some electronics shops to look for a gaming headset for Jisung, and Minjeong goes to three different pet stores to look for the right dog food.  

“You should have tried out for the cheerleading team,” Jimin says when the three of you have settled down at the food court with bowls of bibimbap. Minjeong wordlessly picks out the carrots from her bowl and dumps them in Jimin’s, who doesn’t even bat an eyelash. “We’re a little under the member quota right now. No one likes risking their lives on human pyramids anymore.”

“I can’t imagine why,” you say, and Jimin laughs.

“Seriously. It wouldn’t hurt for you to try. Besides, even if it’s the last semester, we could really use some extra members. Right, Minjeong?”  

Minjeong looks up at you, her egg dangling between her chopsticks.

“Do you want my egg, _____________?”

“Sure,” you reply, amused. She quickly lays the egg on top of your own, even going so far as to arrange them neatly so that their yolks are aligned. “Are you allergic to something?”

“She’s a picky eater.” Jimin explains, using her spoon to squash her egg’s yolk.

“I have a refined palate,” Minjeong corrects her, fishing out a stray piece of carrot and placing it in Jimin’s bowl.

“You eat like a baby.”

“Baby food is pretty good.” Minjeong admits. “The banana-flavored ones are nice.”  

“Gross,” Jimin laughs. “This is exactly why you and Jaemin broke up.”

“You and Jaemin dated?” You raise your eyebrows. Minjeong nods, mixing her rice methodically with her spoon. “What happened?”  

“He got tired of ordering banana-flavored baby food for her,” Jimin quips.

“Will you shut up? Anyway — yeah, we dated last year, really briefly. We just didn’t work out. I did some work for my dad over the weekends back then, so we just never got the chance to go on actual dates. We said we were going to take a break or something, revisit the dating thing when we were less busy, but we just kind of left it in the past, and we started seeing other people.”

“You started seeing other people, you mean,” Jimin corrects her. Minjeong nods, thoughtfully mixing her rice before taking a slow bite.  

“Yeah. Besides, it just sort of felt like a relationship of convenience. Like, we were both there, we were both single, so we tried it. It was okay while it lasted. We’re still friends.”

“But I’ve already heard about Minjeong’s boring love life six hundred times,” Jimin points her spoon at you, a grain of rice flying at high speed in your direction. “Oops, sorry. So what’s going on with you and Jeno?”  

“Oh,” you have to swallow your own spoonful of bibimbap hard because your throat has suddenly constricted. “Nothing’s going on with us. We’re just partners. And… friends?”  

“You’re not dating?”

“Not in the slightest.” Your mind flips back to when Jeno had said he didn’t want people getting the wrong idea about the both of you. Yet. Whatever that meant. “No way.”  

“Oh,” Jimin looks weirdly disappointed. “I thought you were, since he suddenly started asking about who you were seeing. We thought it was a trick question, like we were supposed to answer ‘him.’”  

“But you like him,” Minjeong says it like it’s not a question but a factual statement, which it is, but you still take a while to respond, feeling put on the spot suddenly.  

“I mean… he’s nice.”  

“And cute,” Jimin adds.  

“And cute,” you agree. She smiles triumphantly, as if this is some kind of game she’s winning. “But… nothing’s going on.”  

“Well, Jeno doesn’t date often. I mean, he goes out with girls. But I don’t think he’s been in a relationship for a while,” Minjeong adds thoughtfully. “Maybe he’s starting to think about getting serious with someone?”

“I don’t know.” You like the idea of it, but realistically speaking, it’s not like you two were that close. Then again, you also weren’t sure about how close any two people should be to start thinking about dating each other. It’s not like there’s some kind of rule book. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

“Coy answer,” Jimin sounds approving. “Definitely a sign that something’s going on.”

“Wh— no, I mean, I’m not sure about… you know, we don’t really talk—“

“You don’t really have to,” Jimin winks, and the seaweed pieces in your bibimbap suddenly get very interesting, even though you know the two of them are exchanging looks.  

They drop you back home after lunch, waving goodbye (with Jimin screaming out a see you later!) as they drive off, and you’re so exhausted from the walking and the fact that you’d had to carry Minjeong’s bags of premium dog food back to her car that you fall asleep the moment your body hits your bed. You wake up with a considerable amount of drool on your pillow and three missed calls from Renjun.  

“Not that it’s a big deal,” Renjun says when you call him back. “But I don’t know what to wear to parties.”

“I don’t think it’s a black tie event,” you rub the sleep out of your eyes. “Just wear something casual? Cool? I don’t know either. Also, when did you suddenly start caring about how you looked at parties?”  

“You make it sound like I’ve never tried beforehand.”

“Your signature style is graphic tee and jeans, so…” There’s a loud noise on his end of the call and you hear him mumble a swear word. “What happened?”  

“The closet rod fell,” he whines. “Also, graphic tee and jeans are Jeno’s signature style too. He even had ripped jeans, which make him look more homeless than I do.”  

“Jeno’s jeans are artistically ripped,” you correct him. “Yours are ripped because your dog tries to eat them when they’re hanging out to dry.”

“And you don’t know if Jeno’s own dog has ripped his jeans artistically,” you can hear him struggling with the metal rod, and his voice becomes more and more muffled as you assume that his phone is sinking deeper into his neck as he holds it between his shoulder and ear. “I’ll call you back. Or — you know what, I’ll just be there in fifteen minutes.”

“Make it twenty, I’m still half-asleep.” You hang up and press your face into your pillow, falling back asleep until Renjun arrives within the promised twenty minute time span, chastising you for your lack of punctuality the entire time you sluggishly change your clothes. The only helpful thing he does is call your sister in to help you fix your hair, which she does enthusiastically as you yawn at your reflection and Renjun criticizes your poor scheduling even further while he plays online minesweeper on your laptop.  

“So we only stay for an hour, hour and a half max, right?” He confirms as you walk towards Jaemin’s house. The door is open, and there are people outside, already deep in conversation.  

“Right,” you agree. You don’t hold the fact that Renjun wants to leave quickly against him; for some reason, being around this many people is making you a little queasy, and you don’t know what people do in parties apart from truth or dare. Unfortunately, no one seems to be sitting in a circle around a spinning bottle when you enter; instead, all the furniture has been cleared out for a table that has food piled onto it, and the coffee table is stacked high with paper cups and drinks. Mark Lee and Jaemin are by the ice bucket, and the latter notices you first, waving at you.  

“Hey, ______________, Renjun. You guys made it,” Jaemin pushes a cup of what looks like Hwanta at you, taking Mark’s cup of soda as well and handing it to Renjun. “No traffic, I hope?”  

“Just the same old pile-up. It takes really long to get here, you know,” you smile, and he laughs easily.  

“So your parents are okay listening to trashy music from upstairs?” Renjun asks, looking around for any sign of parents.  

“No, they’re out for dinner with friends, and my brother stays in a dorm in college, so they’re not affected that much.” Jaemin looks like he’s about to say something else, but something beyond the two of you catches his eye and he mumbles an I’ll be right back before speeding off, disappearing into the crowd. Mark is pouring himself a new cup of soda, throwing Renjun a wounded look when he isn’t looking. You decide to strike up a conversation instead of watching him wait for Renjun to apologize for the technically stolen drink.  

“So has this been going on for a while, or…?”  

“No, it’s been maybe half an hour, or something. Oh, I think Jimin was looking for you. She’s somewhere—” He points around the room, clearly unsure. “Somewhere around here. I’m sure you’ll bump into her later. She and Jisung are probably groping each other in the garden or something.”  

“Since when did Yoo Jimin start dating Park Jisung?”  

“Since they sat next to each other on the KTX to Daegu over the break. You should ask Jisung about the make-out session that steamed up economy car A. He says seats 13 A and B still smell like her perfume and his cologne mixed together.”  

“Ew,” Renjun comments, and Mark makes a noise of agreement.  

You’re only half-paying attention to their disgust about Jisung and Jimin’s history of desecrating public spaces since you’ve spotted Jeno, who’s watching a group of juniors play what you assume is beer pong. You keep thinking about going over to him and saying hi, but you can’t seem to figure out when the right time is. Also, your nerves get the best of you, so you just stand beside Renjun as he starts a weird bonding experience with Mark Lee.  

Luckily, you don’t have to do anything at the end of the day; Jeno suddenly notices you, pushing himself off the window he’s been leaning against and walking over. You grab Renjun’s arm by instinct, and he lets out a sharp ow as you squeeze him. He manages to shake you off just before Jeno stops in front of you.

“_______________,” he looks pleased. “You made it. And… you brought Renjun with you.”

“Hey,” Renjun says flatly, handing his half-drunk cup of soda back to Mark, who takes it with a dumbfounded look on his face. “I think I see Donghyuck, so I’m gonna go say hi.”

He slips away before you can say anything, but Jeno doesn’t even look perturbed; he glances at Mark, who meets his eye then suddenly turns to walk off, and you hear him asking someone where the trash bag is.  

“So, are you enjoying?”  

“I just got here, but it seems great,” you try to sound enthusiastic even if you’re shouting a little over the new song that’s started playing. “Music’s a bit loud though.”  

“Makes awkward pauses less awkward,” he says sagely, and you can’t help but think there’s some logical inconsistency in that, but you just shrug it off, nodding up at him. “Did you get to try the pizza?”

“Not yet; why, did you make it with your own two hands, or something?”

“No,” he shrugs, grinning. “But I ordered it with my own voice.”  

You laugh as he does, but the sounds get drowned out by EXID’s Up and Down playing at full blast. He makes a motion, but you don’t catch on, so he just takes your wrist and leads you through a throng of people back to the beer pong game. Upon closer inspection, you see that the liquid inside is a lot darker than you expected.  

“It’s just cola,” Jeno explains. “We were thinking of buying beer, but most people here can’t drink anyway, so it would have been a waste of money.”  

“Smart,” you comment sincerely, watching the two guys on the opposite ends of the table consistently miss their targets. “So you just have to get the ball in the cups? And then what?”  

“The other person drinks. Hey, Jaehyun,” he calls out to one of the guys playing, who looks up and consequently gets hit in the cheek by a flying ping pong all. “Show _____________ how to play.”  

“She can just take Taeyong’s place; he sucks anyway.” This comment elicits a rude gesture from the other boy, and you notice they’re both wearing similar jackets with a logo you can’t really place but looks suspiciously official.  

“You both suck. Let her take a turn; I’m gonna go ask Jaemin if he has more ice or if we need to make a run.”  

Jeno places his hand on your back, leading you forward; the guy named Taeyong reluctantly steps aside as Jeno walks away, greeting some guy that looks familiar but who you also can’t place in your memory as he passes by.  

As it turns out, you’re not half-bad at beer pong; you manage to get Jaehyun to drink four cups of cola, which has him burping all over the place and begging for a break for his stomach. The party is in full swing now, but this is the part that starts to feel uncomfortable, and you excuse yourself from the game with the promise that you’ll play with the two of them again once you’re all of legal drinking age.  

The garden is no better when you exit; there are people in groups that you know you won’t be able to squeeze yourself into. You do actually see Jimin after a moment of scoping, but her limbs are intertwined with Jisung’s in the mini gazebo, and you don’t really want to interrupt, so you just head back inside.

The music is extremely grating now, and you’ve eaten two slices of pizza and downed at least three glasses of different kinds of soda, so you also feel a little bloated and sleepy. Jeno hasn’t resurfaced either over the last hour or so, and you think it’s high time Renjun must be antsy to get home. The problem is that you can’t find him in the living room or the kitchen; you actually knock on the bathroom after gathering up some courage, but the female voice that answers that it’s occupied makes all that effort go down the drain.  

You trust Renjun wouldn’t leave without telling you, but you’re also not sure why he would be missing for this much time. The fact that you’re just standing by the food table while people pass by, say non-committal hellos, and leave with pizza slices in hand makes it even more uncomfortable. In the end, you decide to text Renjun to meet you back at your house and weave through the crowd to get to the door.  

There are still people outside, and while some are leaving, others are also talking or flirting, and you notice that these are more people that seem familiar but unfamiliar all at once. They all look a little older, too; a couple of guys are all wearing sweaters with the same obnoxiously large logo you’d seen on Taeyong and Jaehyun’s jackets, and it dawns on you that these people must be from the university level, hanging at a party away from younger kids. You scan the grass for Renjun, but you don’t see him anywhere either.  

What you do see is Jeno standing extremely close to a girl who’s wearing a similar university sweater. He has one hand around a cup, but his other hand is sandwiched between the girl’s palms. You can’t really discern his expression, but his brows look knitted, and his mouth, while open, doesn’t seem to be moving.  

You feel like you’ve seen this scene before, back at the dance where you had snapped upon seeing Lee Gyuwon and Jeno together, leaving poor Chenle behind. You’d only recently learned to laugh about that situation, so this one comes as both a painful reminder and an unfortunate addition of scenarios that made you extremely uncomfortable. You have to placate yourself with the reminder they just seem to be talking, even if they are standing really close to each other; nothing is actually happening, save for the fact that you can sometimes see Jeno’s hand gripping the cup in his hand a little tighter now and again.  

All of this just goes out the door when the girl leans in, pressing a hand to his chest, and kisses him.  

A voice inside your head tells you it’s frankly masochistic to keep staring at two people kissing when you like one of them, but you just stand there, rooted to the spot, watching the girl wrap an arm around Jeno’s neck. He pulls away after a while, and his mouth starts moving really quickly. His eyes dart around, like he’s watching for something, until they land on you, and his lips stop mid-speech. The scene gets blurrier, and you think you’re going to pass out for a second until you realize you’re just crying a little.  

Soft fingers wrap around your forearm, pulling you away gently. You think it might be Renjun, who’s finally found you after all that hullabaloo, but when you regain some sense, your attention focuses on Jaemin, who’s leading you back to your house. He’s doing so wordlessly, without even looking at you, and the noise of the party fades into an easily ignorable buzz once you reach your driveway. He stops you right at your front door, pausing a little before facing you with a small smile.  

The part of you that hates yourself the most tempts you to look back, to see if you can still glimpse Jeno from this far away; your head actually starts to turn, but Jaemin reacts quicker, trapping your face between his palms and keeping your head steadily towards him. His smile grows a little, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, and his teeth don’t show like they usually do.  

“Hey. Just look at me first, okay?”  

“Um,” is the only thing you can say considering you’re not sure if he’s doing this randomly or for some unknown reason.  

“Your hair’s kind of a mess, you know that? Did you get in a fight, or something?”  

“No, I was just… you know, there were a lot of people, so I probably bumped into a few of them,” your voice sounds distant, but you’re glad to hear that it still works and that you can form something of a coherent sentence. Jaemin laughs softly.  

“Yeah, it did get kind of crowded back there.” He starts to gently put strands of hair back into place, but it’s clear he has no clue what he’s doing because he sighs and drops his hands to your shoulders after a minute. “Anyway, you seemed a little out of it, so I thought you might want to go home for a quick break. If you want to go back, though, we can.”  

“No,” you say quickly. “I was… actually just looking for Renjun. So we could leave quietly.”  

“Well, usually, if you’re leaving a party, you’re supposed to tell the host,” he chuckles softly. “But since I dragged you here, I guess it doesn’t apply.”  

You want to laugh, but all your body seems to want to do is produce tears; you can’t even understand why you want to cry, considering you and Jeno aren’t dating, and he’d made that extremely clear. You suppose that it had just seemed like all the events were leading up to you getting together, although you may have just been reading between the lines when you weren’t supposed to thanks to your endless bounty of personal delusion.  

Either way, you didn’t want to cry about it — especially not in front of his best friend, who probably thinks it’s pathetic enough that you’re hopelessly deluded. You inhale in an attempt to calm yourself down, but all it does it signal your body into letting out a soft sob. Jaemin doesn’t move, and his expression hardly changes, save for the fact that the smile is back to its unnaturally small state. He actually looks like he’s… sad? That doesn’t seem right, though; maybe it’s really more like he pities you, which you can’t even blame him for.  

Still, he gently raises his right hand again; this time, instead of attempting to fix your hair, he gently places his palm against your head. Then lifts it. Then places it back down again. Soon, you’re standing in your driveway, crying silently while the guy from next door is awkwardly patting your hair like you’re a wounded puppy. It doesn’t last more than five minutes, but it’s still a fairly embarrassing period of time, and you wipe at your eyes aggressively while he retracts his hand.  

“Kind of stupid, huh?” Your voice is thick and ugly. “Crying after a party.”  

“Crying after a party, yeah. Crying after seeing someone you like kiss someone else? Not stupid at all.”  

“So I didn’t hallucinate?” You sigh, hiccuping yourself into a slightly calmer state.

“No, unfortunately. I mean, Jeno is — anyway, it’s not really any of my business, I guess. Do you want me to look for Renjun back at my house, or something?”  

“No, it’s fine. I texted him that I was going home anyway, so he can just come find me when he sees it, I guess.” You feel like your voice is childishly sullen, and Jaemin must think so too, because his smile grows again, like he wants to laugh. “But… thanks for walking me home.”

“I almost dragged you home.”

“But I used my two feet,” you crack a smile, wiping away a stray tear that’s just fallen from your eyelashes. “So I still technically walked.”

“Can’t argue with that logic,” he agrees.

You both stand in front of your door, not moving; you’re not making eye contact either, but it doesn’t feel too uncomfortable. There are a ton of things you want to ask him, but all of your questions seem either too upsetting or too invasive, so you just stay quiet until Jaemin looks up again, focusing on something past your head.  

You turn to find Jeno approaching, and his eyes are flickering between you and Jaemin. His hands ball into fists for a second, like he’s steeling himself.  

Jaemin’s voice seems different when he talks again, and he’s not looking at you when he speaks. “I should get back home. See you, _______________.”

He brushes past Jeno, not looking back as he returns to the party. Jeno watches him go, making sure Jaemin’s past your property line before turning back to you.  

“You left so quickly,” is how he opens the conversation.  

“Oh. Yeah, it just got crowded. I lost Renjun, and I couldn’t eat anything more,” you explain lamely. “Sorry. I guess I should have told you.”  

“No, it’s — that’s totally fine. I just… I guess you really didn’t have a good time.”  

“I did; no, I totally did.” Up until a few minutes ago, you want to add, but there’s no way you would. Jeno nods, not really looking like he’s fairly interested in how much you enjoyed the party. “I found out I’m… pretty good beer pong, so that probably bumped my cool points, right?”  

“She’s my ex-girlfriend,” he suddenly blurts out, skewing the conversation’s falsely casual atmosphere drastically towards a topic you were desperate to avoid. You stand in silence, fairly stunned, and Jeno looks like he’s about to burst completely, his words coming out a little too fast because he wants to say so much. “She used to go to our school. A year older. We broke up during her last year; she said she didn’t want anyone from her past tying her down in college. I mean — we — she — we were over. It was fine. But she showed up tonight, I guess since she heard from Jaemin’s brother that there was a party… I didn’t know. She never told me. We just — I guess she thought we could get back together, so we talked, and she kissed me. But we’re not. Back together, that is.”  

“Uh,” you say, once again at a loss for words. “Okay.”  

“It didn’t mean anything,” he starts to slow down, looking a little relieved that he’s gotten the crux of the story off his chest. “She was a little drunk before she got here. It was just a spur of the moment — no, sorry. It was just a mistake. That’s it.”  

“It’s… I mean, it’s… it’s fine?” It’s not, you know, but you don’t know what else to say considering it’s supposed to be fine to you. “She’s your ex-girlfriend. You’re bound to still have feelings for each other. Also—”

“We don’t,” he interrupts you. “We don’t have feelings for each other. I mean, I don’t. For her.”

“Okay, but I also don’t know why you’re telling me all of this.”  

“Because. Because I know you saw us outside.”  

“I did,” you admit, still feeling the uncomfortable pang of distress at recalling the sight. It seems to be triggering your fight or flight instinct because you’re taking slow steps back, but Jeno is just moving forward with you too. Even when you run out of space to step, he’s still advancing, eyes focused on you, like he’s watching for your expression. “And it’s your right to make out with your ex-girlfriend. It doesn’t have anything to do with me.”  

“Doesn’t it?”  

“Does it?” You’re thoroughly confused now, and it looks like Jeno is too. “We’re just friends, aren’t we? We’re not really even that. My opinion on your relationships doesn’t really… matter.”  

“It does though. It does to me.”  

You fall silent, dumbfounded; your mind can’t decide on which feeling to focus on first, so you just stand there looking stupid. Jeno is standing really close to you now, and you can actually smell the fabric conditioner on his hoodie and the cologne that’s fading off from his skin. When he speaks again, his voice is barely above a whisper.

“You like me.”  

It’s not asked like a question, but he pauses like he’s waiting for you to respond. You’re too close to him to feel comfortable enough to lie and deny, plus the situation seems so intense that the thought of doing something wrong doesn’t even cross your mind. You nod, and he doesn’t even look the least bit surprised.

“I’m telling you all of this because I know you like me. Because I don’t want you to misunderstand something like that.”  

“It doesn’t matter, though,” your voice is also soft, less because you’re trying to be quiet and more because if you speak up, you’re afraid you might start crying again. “You don’t have to explain something like that to someone who likes you just because they like you. It shouldn’t be a concern.”  

“But I want to,” he says firmly. “I want to make sure you know — I’m really not with that girl. What happened back there — it didn’t mean anything.”  

“But why?”  

He reaches out, and the action feels eerily similar to Jaemin’s; his fingers idly toy with loose strands of hair, but it doesn’t feel laden with the motive of comforting. Instead, his hand skims down the side of your face gently, stopping just below your jaw. You wonder if he’s noticed you’ve stopped breathing, but if he has, he doesn’t make it obvious. His thumb extends away from his hand, lightly tracing the height of your cheekbone.  

“Because I don’t want something like this to push you away from me,” he murmurs. “Because I want you to like me. Just me.”  

[maidofdarkness23]

For the character asks (on serpine btw)

12, 16, (by 16, i mean what do you hc his childhood was like, not one you had as a kid)

also 29 on him val and skug.

sorry if its alot.

Sexuality hc!

This man is gay, he has never been straight a day in his life.

A childhood headcanon

I don't think he had that great a relationship with his family. I don't think that many people end up as bad as he did when they have a good home-life. Idk, I don't think about childhoods much.

How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren't?)

My favourite trio!!!

Skug's been a parent, but we don't exactly know for how long... But I reckon he'd be great in the beginning stages, but as the kiddo got older he'd get a bit... Reckless. Kind of like with Valkyrie, but more concerned, because it's his kid and he'd probably have that auto mindset that most parents have. The: "Oh hell, that's my stupid kid up there, can't let them get injured." Sort of thing? Also if he had never been a parent before? Ten times the reckless with Valkyrie.

Nefarian? Uhh, I think he'd be okay? Not bad, but not good. I think it'd take him quite a bit of time to get used to having to properly care for someone other than himself. Or like, think about another person's survival, not because it would benefit him, but because 'oh hey, that one's mine.' Kid would most likely be traumatised and never speak to him again once they'd grown up.

Valkyrie is- I'm conflicted. On one hand, they'd be loved, I think canon confirms that with Alice. I reckon even if she'd adopted and it wasn't her 'blood-child' the kid would be loved just as much. And I think she'd be ok after getting used to caring for them. On the other hand, it's Valkyrie and she's not the best when it comes to kids. Omen for one, in the beginning stages. Like the way she wants him out of it, or being forced to 'shoot him', I reckon situations like that would be multiplied but this time it's her kid, which would be worse then with Alice when it comes to her mental health I think.

Idk if any of that made sense.

Now on the other hand, if all three of them looked after one child, it'd be a slightly different story. Because now we have three people, none of whom are the best kinds of people, raising a child.

Skulduggery would hate leaving the kid alone with Nefarian for even a second, for obvious reasons. I think Valkyrie would be the voice of reason there, because why on earth would he kill the child if Skulduggery was the only reason that he was still alive in the first place.

On the other hand, Valkyrie would most likely be ranting to Militsa and Tanith, maybe Ghastly, about how she'd a horrible parent and why did she think that this was a good idea. Militsa would probably be helping out when she can, being Val's partner, she'd be helping if it was just Valkyrie.

And on my mystical third hand, Nefarian would be half vibing, he would probs be on babysitting duty while the other two go and do their crime thingy. Of course he is also being babysat by either Dexter, Saracen or Tanith (those three being the only ones able to tolerate him). The other half though, oh he's terrified. If that child gets a scratch on them, Skulduggery is gonna freak out, which is something that he actively avoids. So he might become a bit of a helicopter parent.

Wow this got long, anyways thanks for the ask!

[practically-an-x-man]

For the character thing. Warren Worthington, Viktor from Arcane, and... the Corinthian

Ooh okay!

Send Me A Character and I'll Give You....

Warren

1: sexuality headcanon - oh he's very much bisexual. I'm surprised they haven't made it canon yet tbh 2: otp - canon-wise, him and Psylocke. Though is it wrong to say my own OC too? 3: brotp - I like the idea of him and Kurt making up after the fight and eventually getting to be really good friends 4: notp - I see people shipping him with Bobby and I don't really get it? No harm to those shippers just not my cup of tea 5: first headcanon that pops into my head - hates hospitals and gets severe medical anxiety after what his father put him through in his childhood. Thankfully his healing factor is usually strong enough to avoid it though. 6: favorite line from this character - "Sometimes I feel unimportant, like all I do is catch those that fall. But I look like an angel. People call me an angel. And though I'm not taking names, I'm the one who is most visually saving lives. I'm doing alright, and dammit, I'm an X-Man" 7: one way in which I relate to this character - only one? uhhhhh how about all the rampant unexplained medical issues that first sprung up at age 12 and had me locking myself in the bathroom? among a lot of other things 8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character - there's one moment in the comics where he's kinda misogynistic towards Jean? It's from one of the very first X-Men runs from the 60s 9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? - both, and I mean that genuinely. Un-brainwashed he's a bit more of a cinammon roll, but then there's everything in the Apocalypse arc...

Viktor (fair warning I haven't watched Arcane in a while)

1: sexuality headcanon - gay, possibly ace or demi 2: otp - him and Jayce I guess? I don't really have one tbh 3: brotp - Don't really have one of these either. I guess it could be fun to see him and Jinx make friends, since they're both kinda inventors and that could be interesting 4: notp - none? Look After is literally the only Arcane fic I read right now, so I don't really know who he gets shipped with to begin with 5: first headcanon that pops into my head - uhhh everyone has chronic lung problems from the pollution in the Undercity but it affects him worse because he's prone to asthma/bronchitis/other lung conditions 6: favorite line from this character - "We lost ourselves. Lost our dream. In the pursuit of great, we failed to do good." 7: one way in which I relate to this character - Joint problems babeyyy 8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character - none? Been a while since I've seen the show, don't remember any specific moments 9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? - Cinnamon roll

Corinthian

1: sexuality headcanon - not a headcanon but Neil Gaiman's confirmed he's pan and I like that 2: otp - again, do my OCs count? Nothing compares to Prometheus 3: brotp - don't really have one, but I want him and Hob to dish about Morpheus being a little bitch (/j) 4: notp - Corintheus. I get that it's popular but Dream's technically his creator and that just... gets weird to me. 5: first headcanon that pops into my head - he's got a soft spot for kids and genuinely doesn't want to hurt/scare them, it's the adults he gets fed up with 6: favorite line from this character - "You ever notice that people only ever use your name when you're in trouble? 'Get over here, Jed!'" (it's not the most impactful line of his but I think the delivery is really fun) 7: one way in which I relate to this character - on a simpler note... general Southern-ness I guess? But also the themes of being neglected/seen as inherently flawed by a parent (which... may be a repeat trend for me, just look at Warren lmao) 8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character - In the comics, when he gets remade the first time and is first relearning about the Dreaming and what happened. It's a great scene overall, there's just something about the way Dream and Matthew talk to him that feels a little weird to me. 9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? - Problematic fave, no doubt

[knowlesian]

all guts’n glory, lived experience no theory no google freewrite time!!! as ever: i was musing about ofmd and i Had A Thought.

one of the unspoken truths of the general culture i move in is that certain people are sexualized as a matter of course, just by existing, and certain people are not. we do this with race, with gender, and with sexuality itself: i’m gonna focus mostly on the very narrow lane of sexuality and gay as in men here and then dip a toe into gender via jim because that feels like Part of It, but i want to start by saying this is a shared overlap area, with different lived experiences depending on how any given one of us is processed and then assigned a bunch of weird/invasive assumptions and expectations.

so: we are obsessed with dicks, culturally. a lot of our weird hatreds come back to essentialist shit and either directly or indirectly asking: who has a dick? what are they doing with it, if they have it? are they Doing Gender Right? And Oh GOD: Are They Fucking Correct Orifices With It, In Correct Ways????? 

(the adjacent weirdness here is how people confess by this ideology we only really care about the presence of dick, though we ARE disturbed by its lack as well! this is horrific all around!!!)

as a consequence of this: we are also obsessed with exactly what sort of penetration dicks might do, because penetration is power!!! dicks are power!!! this shit is killing us all!!!!

it’s why the fucking stupid ‘soooo, who’s the man and who’s the woman?’ bullshit was a cultural staple in “jokes” about gay people for so long.

who gets fucked? how? invite us into spaces we have no right to be unless invited because you are nothing but who you fuck and how you fuck them, these questions beg. 

(i think some of this mixes into why some older members of the proverbial alphabet soup have trouble pulling out a seat for our ace family at the table: for so long, we have had to fight to enjoy sex out loud in ways we control, not Them, so by now it’s not quite instinctive that the battle here isn't about how any of us have sex, or if we want to have it at all. it’s that according to the proverbial Them, our sin is not following some weird and toxic rules about dicks that none of us actually support, if we believe the things we say we do. ...end tangent, sorry i just think about this a lot.)

so: how ofmd uses sex really interests me. they don’t shy away from it: we know lucius and pete fucked, and we know everyone heard. we know jack and ed used to fuck, and we know jim and olu fell back into the bed, and that olu was the little spoon after.

what’d they do? how’d they fuck? did they fuck, and by what definition of fucking? was it our definition????? who put what dick where? were dicks put ANYWHERE???? TELL US ABOUT THE DICKS WE ARE DRIVEN MAD BY THESE VERY WEIRD QUESTIONS.

ofmd says: fuck you. unless these characters wanna tell you, you don’t own that information. it’s their joy, their love: you get to walk this far into the bedroom, you can see how happy whatever they did there made them, but you don’t get to take from these characters more than they want to give.

this is why jim being canon-confirmed afab and nonbinary while performing a lot of what the world would consider acceptably masculine behavior/skills/coding is an interesting choice, and one i’m like “yeeeeah i need to like. do some Work before i even know how to talk about what the fuck jim brings to this show", loved it less i’d know how to talk about it more style.

anyway yeah! i find this show really interesting on levels that have... almost nothing to do with the plot as WELL as tearing into the script and plot word by word. it’s the gift that keeps giving!!!!

[fictofaggot]

how do you think beforus affected all the dancestors

i love this ask... but i cannot do all of the dancestors, ill just put some of the ones i think about most under the cut

KANKRI - kankri is probably the most obviously fucked up of all of them? his status as a mutant earned him a life of demeaning, infantilization, and being treated as useless. he was culled! none of what he ever had to say was treated as anything more than haha oh you silly mutant with your silly ideas, and he learned to just... shut up. and not say anything.... for the majority of his younger years if not all of them. going his whole life like that, to a degree even other lowbloods can't really understand (see again: mutant)... it definitely messed with his head quite a lot.

his current behavior is the product of this. he's rebelling! he's acting out against this in the only way he knows- he's sheltered and this is his way of trying to change it. he's out of touch and doesn't know how to fix it. he goes on these massive rambles to try and prove that he has things to say and you HAVE to listen. he vehemently rejects any form of coddling (notably from porrim trying to help him out a bit) because he doesn't want to be pitied and looked down upon and treated like shit anymore. he just goes about it in a way that's.... well, a reflection of his upbringing. sheltered. coddled. privileged. he sucks!

DAMARA- i genuinely love damara so much and i really think she got the short end of the stick in like....everything... clearly- and i think it was confirmed by meenah? i can't remember- she was passive, and docile, and everything a lowblood "should" be. treated like shit by her peers, demeaned and treated similarly to kankri.. eventually she just snapped. she and kankri both have intense themes of rebellion, and hers is INTENSE. she's mad. she's "bitchy". she's sexual and vulgar. she violently rejects the cute, passive, innocent lowblood she's supposed to be by being just about the opposite. and she deserves to! in doing that she takes back the power she's been deprived of her entire life... she is so awesome.

in turn, though, her peers treat her... like shit. again. she's reduced to The Bitchy Ex by literally everyone, because they cannot tolerate how she is. it's a rebellion, it makes them mad, and they clearly don't understand why she's like this and just kind of prove my point from previous posts about what beforan lowbloods have to be.

also, she's a really racist caricature, i will not try to hide it. hussie fucking sucks and she deserves so much better.

MITUNA- ohhh boy. mituna. mituna is so awesome in that literally the entire basis of who he is is a rebellion against lowblood norms. he can't conform! he can't be docile and passive and innocent! not only because of his brain damage, but because it's just a part of who he is, even before that. he's loud, and he's vulgar, and he's unpleasant- and it makes him awesome, but it also makes his peers treat him horribly.

i don't even think i have to get into how he's treated. everyone from cronus to kankri... all of them treat him badly, except maybe latula? either way, he's been beaten down into his whole apologizing constantly thing by others' treatment towards him, and yet he continues behaving how he is. he doesn't fit in and they hate him for it. there is the rampant ableism aspect to that, too.

ironic really how much of the fandom turns him into this cute soft boy... you guys are beforusifying him😭

LATULA- i don't have very much of a lengthy thing to say about her... only that the whole rad gamer girl thing? absolutely mostly due to misogyny. however, i also believe it has some tie-in to how she too is disabled, and had to hide it back on beforus for fear of culling. definitely affected her.

CRONUS- interesting if only because we don't know Why he acts so fucking horribly (besides the whole beforus thing). i theorize that he could have had a history with being culled himself, but most of his behavior is because he's a highblood and thus is supposed to act like a jackass to lowbloods. interesting how hes so attention seeking and how remarkably self-aware he is about it, though.

side note to cronus- he is not humankin. i hate when people talk like he's a genuine representation. that's literally part of his ruse. he does it for pity and attention, and i believe he pretty much states that word for word? he's so fucking horrible how does everyone fall for his tricks so often

MEENAH- i don't have much to say about meenah, only that she acts vastly different from how she's presumably supposed to, what with a kind feferi-empress as an example. she can get away with it, though, because she's a highblood. also, she's an interesting insight into how lowbloods and the weak are treated in terms of relationships and pursuit of relationships on beforus, with her nasty karkat thing... and the (vriska) thing... i do not like her.

[formulatrash]

f1 shipping gets kind of weird for me to begin with. i have seen people get into HEATED arguments about which ship is better and every time i just think people understand these ships aren't real right? half of these men are publicly in romantic relationships with women. there are a few who go out of their ways to say they won't do certain, really just regular activities that platonic friends could do together, with other men because they don't want to be perceived as gay. and i don't really fault them for that because i see how cruel fans are when drivers show they're accepting and inclusive by voluntarily wearing rainbow symbols or just simply saying they believe in equality, love is love, etc., but idk there's still something so gross about usually straight fans telling me certain drivers are like icons and activists for the LGBTQ+ community due to simply having a PR "relationship" or close friendship with other drivers on the grid. i love a nice sportsmanship moment or genuine friendship moment as much as the next fan, but that isn't "activism." that's doing NOTHING to address or prevent the abuse LGBTQ+ fans receive, especially in f1 spaces, both online and at races.

also idk i hate how every time teams or f1 themselves try to push these ships and bromances, the comments usually range from hateful and discriminatory to outdated stereotypes. and those harmful comments are NEVER deleted by admins. like, okay, cool, that's a really cute carlando or yukierre or whatever photo f1 or mclaren or ferrari or alphatauri has posted, but this does NOTHING for making me feel more accepted when a) it's fictional. it's friendships, some maybe closer than others, but it's not really LGBTQ+ representation. (at least not outwardly. i am not trying to assume anyone's sexual orientation here either, but none of these relationships have been confirmed real, and frankly, i don't think teams would be as open to publicizing these relationships like this if they were real romantic relationships, like some fans believe, due to drawback from homophobic fans, sponsors, etc.). b) how is this supposed to make anyone feel welcome and accepted when half the comments are like "who's the man and who's the woman in that relationship?" (something i fucking hate being asked myself. if i wanted a man in my relationship, i would just fucking be with a man).

idek if this makes sense or if i really even made the point i was trying to make but it bothers me too.

a lot here so, idk, apologies if I don't quite answer it all but I will give a try.

shipping wars in general are pretty weird to me, especially that something that feels so antique (like, Yahoo Groups-era internet) is going stronger than ever today.

that said, I think people who are completely aware it's fiction having some blorbos they like thinking about is also completely harmless. for a lot of people shipping whatever is a source of joy and play and to some extent companionship and it can create lots of good things. humans are meant to think things through by playing and sometimes dressing up the dolls you're doing that with in, I don't know, Star Trek uniforms or F1 racesuits or whatever is just the blorbo seasoning of the week.

it would absolutely nuke my brain to read. uhm, idk, I just looked in the F1 tag and pretty much anything in there as far as I can tell but I think it's fundamentally harmless as something people do, when it's understood as fictional.

that said; I fully get you about the mistaking shipping for activism thing. this actually, oh, let's get deep in the internet lore, used to be a big thing on here about 10 years ago. for whatever reason the Johnlock community went like, big on shipping pride and how it was an important expression of LGBTQ+ identity and inevitably, the loudest advocates were the straightest. cringe.

now, on the one hand I do think there's something to be said for queer interpretations. especially in the rigidly straight mainstreams of sport and media. if you think of reinterpreting the silly, silly world that is F1 as not for straight people then, well. yes, there's something radical to be said for that thought process.

imagining another possibility is a way to realise how absurd the current reality is. and that's good. but pointing at things and saying 'that's gay' when as far as we know it's not isn't that.

appropriating straight people (and many of the drivers have confirmed that is absolutely how they identify) as representation is, well, sometimes I can understand why LGBTQ+ people take crumbs. but when it's in a space where there are none of us then calling that acceptable or suggesting it fixes a huge demographic imbalance it doesn't is obviously a massive problem.

there are very few openly LGBTQ+ people in motorsport. pretending that's not true in reality isn't creating representation. it's fun to think about a world where there was more of us but it shouldn't replace the reality or excuse our absence.

and then there's the cynical marketing.

I've always really hated Jeandré. I know how many LGBTQ+ people were in the Formula E paddock at the time because I was one of them. clearly, JEV and André played into it, as did their team and Formula E but it was always so uncomfortable to me, that this was play-acting in an environment where the real thing would probably have got more of a pass than in any other part of motorsport but still not been treated with pride and acceptance.

it was something that drove engagement. which, god knows, Formula E needs so maybe that should be the next marketing tactic but it was also... not real.

I've said before I found things like all Sky's Carlando segments really uncomfortable. the one where Lando and Carlos took each other on laps and asked each other very dating-oriented questions was just... very uncomfortable. because men can ask each other dating-oriented questions, it shouldn't be a punchline.

to their credit Carlos and Lando actually always deflected any attempt at 'no homo' - they clearly have a very comfortable friendship and they didn't ever seem to get skittish, no matter how weird interviews got. I can respect just sort of seriously looking someone down and saying like, no you blink first if this is gay chicken. if you're trying to ship us, you've got to admit it.

but that didn't make it right. or make it that they were representation. remember when there was that seriously odd blog on here that claimed to be written by marketing specialists and body language analysts that was a transparent attempt to 'prove' carlando was true and both Lando and Carlos' official relationships were fake?

that felt very strange, a new development in motorsport fandom. obviously we all know it happened with One Direction and whatever but I was surprised to see that there was a ship that invested in, in F1. and needless to say, it was completely libellous and incredibly invasive, as well as quite misogynist.

shipping won't help a driver come out. and acting as though it's totally unrealistic that drivers could be in a relationship together obviously ignores the fact that some of them are (Jess and Abbie!)

anyway as a bonus piece of analysis for anyone who got down this far, when did Max/Charles go past the F1 RPF titan that is Simi for number of works??? unbelievable, never thought I'd see the day that was knocked off the top spot by two ships involving Max Verstappen. poor ol' brocedes.

[theangryjikooker]

I want a serious answer that doesn't include fanservice or fanbaiting. Why did Jungkook ask Jimin if he wanted Ramen straight up in ITS? When Karmy spread it all over exactly how JK meant it & judging by his face, karmy are right. What exactly do you think his purpose was with his vid to Jimin on his bday, the way he acted? Unless the man wants to fuck Jimin there's no explanation cause who's he baiting? He knows no one in this fandom wants to see Jikook together. HE DOES IT FOR HIMSELF. So why?

I understand that intonation gets lost in text, but some of you ought to look into phrasing to avoid that pitfall. This submission sounds very entitled on initial impression, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't rub me the wrong way.

You'll get the answer I decide to give you. If you don't like it, I don’t know what to tell you.

The ramyeon line is a joke–a crass one, but amusingly befitting given the context. All that exchange showed me is that they're comfortable enough to have those types of conversations. It's almost like they're adult, virile men who know about sex. 😱 Surprise.

Can people who are dating and/or screwing around make that joke? Yes. Can people who are just friends make that joke? Also yes. Given that none of us actually know them, I find it strange that people would automatically assume Jikook making that joke suggests there’s something romantic/sexual between them. I’m not saying they’re “just friends,” because I don’t really know that either, but to think otherwise shouldn’t be people’s natural default.

By all accounts, it's still a Jikook moment. We're at least learning (once again) that they have a similar sense of humor and that they enjoy each other’s company. It's enjoyable to watch them have these off-the-cuffs, and not believing there's anything more to this particular exchange doesn't detract from a far more important detail, which is more confirmation that they happen to pull all-nighters together (at least in their Ch. 1–hard to say whether that still stands anymore).

As for Jungkook’s birthday greeting to Jimin–boy, oh boy. It being a thirst trap is a joke, I hope everyone is aware of this. We have no way of knowing his intentions, and honestly, his intentions could be two-fold. What we know at the very least is that it is unique to Jimin, as Jungkook has never created a birthday video for any of the other members, so it has some merit on its own, but I wouldn’t read too much into it beyond that.

[lex-munro]

[Glitter on the Wet Streets: Part 1] Shiver Stop Shivering

In another corner of the multiverse, the spell-triggered incursion happened a different way… Eddie went to New York, saved Aunt May, got dumped for some Bambi-eyed kid, and ended up playing the roles of chaperone and mascot for said kid and his two misfit pals. A year later, the timeline is trying to get itself back to something resembling its cousins.

This is Chapter 1 of probably about 12 (I couldn’t tell you, because I am trash who can’t stick to a plan) of a Venom/MCU fic about the kids having adopted Human Trashfire Eddie Brock. Massive canon divergence, lol. Let’s have a rich MJ, the Hawkeye series set a year later instead of in the same year as NWH, some implied Loki shenanigans that lead to the trio taking a gap year working at a small-time newspaper.

I originally pictured Oscar Isaac as Rafael, but he nailed Moon Knight so well that I can’t picture him as anyone else in the MCU. So let’s go with Pedro Pascal, if you need a mental image.

Warnings: Canon divergent based on the MCU. Discussion of abusive relationships (both romantic and platonic) and recovery from abuse. Giant cats. Modern YouTube references. The Scheming Writers Club™ is inspired by my coworkers. Ensemble background OCs. Language: PG-13 (primetime tv plus s***, f***, and g**damn).

Pairing: None for this chapter, just background Peter/MJ and background Happy/May with past Eddie/Venom.

Timeline: A year after the events of No Way Home, but concurrent with the events of Hawkeye (told you it was canon divergent).

Disclaimer: I doesn’t owns the movies or the characters. Or the assorted objects of pop culture reference.

Shiver Stop Shivering

“I’m just saying,” Madison drawls as she waves the onion from her cocktail through the air. “It’s almost a year since your ex left, and six full months since you met Rafael, and he is so into you—”

“Oh my God,” Eddie groans.

“Super into you,” confirms Julio. “It’s sickeningly sweet. Even my má knows the saga of you two not really dating, and she’s never met either of you. She says it’s better than a telenovela.”

“That’s how much we all yap about you lovebirds,” Tanya agrees.

Eddie presses his palms together in a pleading pose and begs, “Guys, please, no matchmaking.”

“At the very least, bone the guy. The sexual tension is really starting to get unnerving. You said it was two bad break-ups of long-terms in a row—so maybe try something less committed.”

He feels his good-humored smile slip. “Yeah, nah, I’m…I’m not really wired that way. I need long-term.”

“Okay, so long-term him! Rafa likes all your dumb little quirks, and he’s a fan of your reporting, and he smiles like a fool when you start off on one of your righteous tangents. Take a chance. Use the Christmas break to plan the perfect first date, then completely scrap that, because it’s guaranteed to go adorably awry.”

“Fine. Hard maybe.”

They laugh and jeer. “That’s not a thing!” Tanya tells him, but they (mercifully) drop the subject.

~*~*~

An hour later, he’s walking home, enjoying the weather (light snow, not too cold or too humid) and thinking about Rafael, with his boy-next-door curls and his caramel skin and his twinkling eyes. Rafa is the first person (of any gender) that his writer pals have shoved at him who isn’t at least ten years younger than Eddie, so that’s a plus. He’s nice, and he’s smart, and when he edits Eddie’s shit, he’s gentle but firm. Also, when he grew a beard in November, he was seriously rocking some big DILF energy.

So yeah, it’s tempting. Real tempting.

But all he can think about is them getting somewhere good and stable, somewhere that makes him think it’s gonna last, and then getting dumped on his ass again for not being good enough. Sometimes it’s genuinely because of something he consciously chose to do, like when he put being right (and the associated ego boost) before Anne’s privacy, but a lot of times it’s either a flimsy excuse or something he can’t (or doesn’t know how to) change about himself.

Before Anne, the standard reason had been that he’s too pushy and takes too many risks. Against all odds, Venom fixed that; his writing team considers him shy and skittish.

It took them three tries to get him to come out drinking with them, but only two weekly hangouts to guess that he was recovering from the Worst Breakup Ever. After that, well…he got a little drunk and weepy and told them about ‘V,’ who was big and brash and impulsive and selfish and immature and amazing. He told them about rough starts and violent disagreements and two not-quite-breakups. He told them how doting V could be, and how V accepted more of his failings than anyone else had, and how V knew him inside and out (he didn’t tell them it was literal, though).

He told them how V had always said Eddie was perfect for him, and that they were meant for each other, and that they belonged together.

He told them how V had taken one look at some sweet little college freshman and just fucking left without a word (he didn’t mention how the kid was Spider-Man, because that would’ve raised some really weird questions).

He didn’t have to tell them that it left him in pieces, because they’d met him in the midst of Scotch-taping himself back together.

Clean up your act, get a job, pretend you know what ‘the Blip’ is, pretend you’re not from another universe where you’re a killer vigilante and a wanted criminal, pretend you know someone—anyone at all—besides three nosy kids and the asshole alien who dumped you for one of them.

He’s honestly always liked his chances here better than back home.

He takes a long breath. This version of New York is a little cleaner than the one he remembers, and a little safer thanks to all the metas running around. Maybe it’s not smart to still be in the habit of wandering through high crime areas like he’ll eat anybody who tries to stab him… But Hell’s Kitchen has sort of adopted him, and he did get saved by Daredevil the one time he got too drunk to defend himself (and boy, did Eddie’s bisexuality reassert itself very loudly when two gang members went flying and he was face-to-amazing-ass with the red-clad hero). Point being: maybe once a month, some kid will jump out and demand cash, then start stammering apologies when he sees it’s Eddie. He gets a lot of ‘sorry, man’ and ‘big fan of your stuff’ and ‘thanks for that piece about water quality in June.’

Anyway, it’s half past seven, so it’s not like he’s out late.

He’s passing an alley that’s darker than most, when a rasping voice says, “Eddie.”

His heart skips, and he stops walking. “Whattaya want, Parker? Your girlfriend got another scoop for me? Usually, she brings it herself, because she’s got the decency to—”

“Peter is asleep,” says the voice in the alley. “We wanted to talk to you, Eddie, and Peter thinks that would be inappropriate.”

Eddie barrels into the darkness and spits out, “You’re goddamn fucking right, it’s inappropriate! What the fuck could you ‘n I possibly have to talk about, huh? You left. All that shit about ‘we’ and ‘us’ and ‘perfect symbiosis,’ and you just fucking—”

“We—I am in love with Peter.”

Eddie makes a wounded sound before he can stop himself. “And why the fuck would I wanna know that?” he asks in a tiny, trembling voice. “You used to say you loved me, that we’d be together forever.”

“I do love you. You are my friend, Eddie—my best friend. And Peter doesn’t love us—me.”

So now Eddie feels put on the spot, like he fuckzoned somebody who was never into him.

Screw that noise—Venom was the one to turn their thing romantic, and Venom was the one to turn it sexual, too.

“Fuck. This isn’t fair, V. You can’t just show up after what you did and expect me to give—what, sympathy? Advice? I have a nice life now. I have a shitty little apartment and a half-decent job where the things I write help people, and a big stupid cuddly cat, and friends who helped me get over you, because it fucking destroyed me when you left. And you think you can just come back into my life like you didn’t completely wreck it, just because now we both know that I was in love with you and you weren’t in love with me, so somehow I’m supposed help you now that you’re in the same boat. Fuck you, V. I hope he keeps you for a nice, long time, so you can have all the fun of being right there and watching him not love you back.”

In the darkness, Venom hisses and says (rather sulkily), “You are a shitty friend, Eddie.”

Eddie feels like he just took a punch to the gut. “Well,” he says, and he doesn’t really care about how wet his eyes are or how shaky his voice still is. “You were a shitty, abusive boyfriend who abandoned me, so you don’t really deserve my friendship. Goodbye, V.”

And he just leaves. He’s not going to give Venom the satisfaction of a fight (he’d lose, even if he didn’t care whether he hurt Peter), and he’s sure as shit not going to be some shoulder to cry on.

He pulls out his phone and shoots a text to MJ.

tell ur bf his roommate has been joyriding while he’s asleep

As he approaches his building, he notices a crowd, and a strange light and—

Great. The fucking building is on fire.

“Eddie! Oh, che fortuna!”

The plump little nonna from the floor above waddles over with his stupid giant fluffy black cat. The damn thing is almost as big as she is.

“Mrs. DiPazzi, what happened?”

“Those tracksuit ragazzi showed up and started throwing Molotov cocktails at the loft next door! I thought they learned their lesson when Ronin was here after the Snap, but I guess they’ve forgotten what fear is. I hope one of those nice superheroes comes to teach them some manners. Here—Snowflake came to get me, grazie a Dio. I might not have known anything was wrong until I was trapped, and meeting a fireman is not worth the risk at my age.”

Snowflake complacently drapes his furry bulk around Eddie’s shoulders like a thirty-pound purring scarf with very little encouragement from Mrs. DiPazzi.

“What would I even do with a big strapping fireman—eh, Snowflake? Yes, such a good boy, saving my life like that… Oh, bene, my son is finally here! Take care of yourself, Eddie.”

“You too, Mrs. DiPazzi.” His phone buzzes.

MJ wow rude. did he do that 2 u 2?

He snorts.

prob so my apartment is currently burning down

His phone actually rings.

MJ would like you to join a video call

He snorts and hits the ‘accept’ button.

~“Like, literally on fire or—oh, never mind, it’s on TV.”~ The girl looks vaguely impressed. ~“Bummer. Well, I’ll text you the address.”~

“Address for what?”

~“My place, weeb. My dad’s out of town anyway, and your place is on fire.”~

“You have a dad? I thought somebody used black magic on a QAnon post and it came to life.”

~“That’s fair. But seriously, how many people do you actually know in our universe? And how many of those would loan out their guest room, indefinitely, for free, to a scruffy guy who occasionally talks to somebody who can’t hear him anymore?”~

“Now you’re just bein’ hurtful.”

~“Also, I want to meet Snowflake in person—hiii, sweeetieeee, pwecious foofy dummy!”~

Snowflake yawns at the phone.

~“Awww, wookit all doze widdle fangies!”~

“Gawd, stop. Thank you for offering me ‘n this big dumb furball a place to crash. We’ll head over soon as we can get a ride.”

~“No worries, dude; it’s Christmas. In fact, y’know, I’m gonna send Aunt May’s boyfriend to come pick you up; he’s gotta come get me for family ice skating anyway.”~

~*~*~

Thirty minutes later, he’s waiting at the corner when a nice black car pulls up.

“You Eddie?” the driver asks.

“That’s me. Sorry I smell like a bar and look like I’ve been crying about my ex in an apartment fire—I was at a bar and then I was crying about my ex when I saw my damn building on fire. This is Snowflake; I promise he’s harmless.”

“I’ve had worse passengers. Hop in, and we’ll get you guys to MJ’s place.”

Which is in fucking Central Park East, eighteen floors up.

“Oh my glob, hewwo fwuffy-wuffy!” MJ coos as soon as she opens the door. She squishes Snowflake’s face between her palms, to the cat’s extremely vocal approval. “Whatta big purr, whatta big purr!”

“You done yet?” Eddie asks.

She’s back to her blank, aloof self in half a second. “You look like shit. When I get back from family skate night with the Parkers and the Starks, we’re eating a gallon of ice cream and not talking about your ex. Lock the door, don’t answer for strangers from other dimensions, yadda yadda. Wifi password is ‘MJ is the Queen of all existence and everyone else is her slave 1.’ Capital Q, no spaces. Cat food and litter will be delivered in twenty minutes, no contact; just go down to the lobby and show them this—your new key card.” It has his name and photo on it, and her apartment number.

“You, uh…you work pretty fast, huh?”

“Double-teamed it with Ned. Benefits of having smart friends whose careers you don’t ruin with hacked emails. I recommend posting the apartment fire on your Insta; I’ll setup a GoFundMe tomorrow.”

And she shoves him into the apartment.

Something catches Snowflake’s attention, and he launches off Eddie’s shoulder—and when a thirty-pound monster of a Maine Coon launches unexpectedly, even a guy like Eddie can end up knocked on his ass.

“Ow, you damn traitor!”

Snowflake has discovered the Christmas tree. He’s just sitting at the bottom, staring up at it.

“Don’t even think about it,” Eddie warns. “Nothin’ll get us kicked out faster than your dumb ass climbing up that tree and wrecking it.”

Snowflake expresses his opinion of the situation with a raucous sneeze, then prances off to lounge in front of the fake fire (because of course the place has a heater shaped like a fucking fireplace).

There’s a note on the coffee table (next to an array of ‘conversation starter’ literature).

Eddie-spaghetti Guest room down the hall to the right, next door to guest bath. Linens and towels are fresh. Leftover vegan lasagna (shut up, I’m trying smthg) in fridge, pop the lid before heating. This remote is for the TV, or you can just talk to Alexa. Back by 10pm, we’ll talk then. MJ

He watches the really depressing news report about the apartment fire. He goes down to get Snowflake’s supplies (there’s even a pack of compostable litter trays, though the sheer size of the cat means it’s wisest to spread them out in a grid). Then he stretches out on the couch and continues his efforts to understand this universe’s YouTube stars. He ends up watching three videos about Victorian clothing, one critiquing the hypothetical efficacy of sexualized costume armor designs, one TikTok compilation about being the awkward oldest friend (it hits very close to home), two vids of humorously misheard lyrics, and has just started his second video of some soothing guy restoring old paintings when MJ gets home (Snowflake surfaces from his explorations to rub up against her knees).

“Julian Baumgartner,” she says approvingly. “High quality ASMR.”

“How was skating?”

“It was okay. Happy and Aunt May were sickeningly adorable. Pepper and Morgan were great, mostly because Morgan is a lot better at skating than the rest of us—literally skated circles around us. Peter was a little weird, even for him; seemed like the roommate was sulking.”

Snowflake seizes his usual spot, loafed on Eddie’s chest and purring (like Venom used to do, in fact).

“Yeah?” Eddie says in a petty tone. “Who cares? Fuck that guy. Selfish asshole…”

She perches on the edge of the coffee table and leans toward him. “Are you okay? Because I kind of thought you were more ‘over him’ than this. Didn’t I hear Julio saying just the other day how you and Rafael were totally on the brink of dating?”

Eddie focuses on petting his giant cat. “I am—we are. Just…when he hijacked Parker earlier, it was to come find me and tell me he’s in love with the kid. And what am I s’posed to do with that, right? ‘Hey, Eddie, I know you’re in love with me, but I’m in love with this other guy who’s younger, smarter, more ethical, and generally just better than you, but he doesn’t feel the same way, so I’m gonna cry to you about it since you’re my best friend.’ Can you believe that shit? Had the fuckin’ nerve to call me his ‘best friend’ after all the shit he’s pulled, all the tantrums, all the times he broke my shit or broke my bones or fixed me up just so he could hurt me again…after he took one look at Parker and just left even though he said we’d be together forever.”

MJ holds out a box of tissues, and Eddie realizes he’s been crying. He takes a handful and blows his nose, and his dumb cat puts a giant fuzzy paw on his face in a boop so epic it should be conveyed in all caps.

“You have kinda crappy taste in boyfriends,” says MJ. “But you have pretty good taste in cats. I’m gonna go get the ice cream and some spoons, and we’re gonna marathon some Nailed It International. The Mexican version is especially wholesome.”

.End.

[osmorphosis]

dream log. hello. u know those dreams that feel like i’ve lived a whole other life by the time i wake up? i dreamt that i was dating this guy, maybe a few months after breaking up with kelvin. we were part of this friend group that stuck together (no one that i knew from real life funnily, all people made up by my brain), and we would just be very touchy and cuddly — i don’t remember how we eventually solidified it into a relationship. i think notable differences with my real-life experiences so far are that it was very organic (felt like a very natural transition), and we were solidly just friends for a while. don’t remember what he looked like, except that he was taller than me LMFAO. maybe he had glasses. and blonde hair. but maybe i’m making this up. he was very very sweet, caring, mature — no cringe guy behavior humor 💀. i always thought i wanted someone who matches my level of chaotic, but i think maybe i just want someone who accepts it but is sweet & caring over anything.

we dated for like 5 months? funny how i can endure/enjoy a relationship for longer in my dreams than irl. all i remember is it being really good. i don’t remember anything from it though, LOL, but it was just a very soft cuddly lovey relationship — probably a message from my brain that that is truly all i want in a s/o. we were very very touchy, but there wasn’t any type of sexual activity throughout the whole relationship — i feel a bit more safe in my asexuality after this, especially since i’ve been thinking about and questioning it a lot lately (still am but oh well, sexuality is a fluid thing and whatever and i can always change). i’m also wondering how tf physical touch isn’t one of my love languages though LMFAO?

moving on, because the dream gets FUCKING WACKY after this. we break up, but i barely remember why. it was either related to something or someone dying or sacrificing themselves or whatever — like it was some insane fantasy action plot — OR it was just because one of us didn’t want to anymore (most likely him because i was heartbroken after??). so after we break up, for the first day i’m totally fine — like after my irl breakup. and then, the day after, it hits. i’m at school, in class, and then trying to go to the bathroom, and i’m just MISERABLE. maybe this is the confirmation that i’m not unable to fall in love (aro moment) but that i just haven’t met the right person?

ok, parentheses but we NEED to talk about the fucking BATHROOMS. so i’m in line to go to the bathroom, and at this point i’m not in any specific school and everyone from my life seems to go to this school. like i’m seeing people from high school lining up for the washrooms and all the a&s girls are also in this school. so when i go to the bathroom… they’re like on a stage?? it’s like two really fancy toilet bowls, no walls, and u just go on stage and do ur business?? and everyone’s just doing it? there’s like a tiny tiny little barrier between the stage and below, where people wait, but still?? and there’s a tiger and supervisors up on the stage?? and u need to scan ur card to be able to activate the toilet bowl? i’m literally like… wtf. anyways, moving back to main story.

after my bathroom adventure, i somehow find myself with some of the a&s girls (not just them and not all of them). i’m on the verge of bursting into tears the whole time bc i’m literally fucking heartbroken, but none of them know. so i’m on edge, and some of them notice, but eventually we all head to our respective classes except i dip to go be heartbroken in peace. jiamei comes after me, but before we talk about anything, i’m jump cutting to the cafeteria, where i’m getting soup with… kelvin?? HAHAA. what even. so i’m telling him about the breakup, and dream him reminds me of EVERY reason i do not like him anymore. he’s having super cringe immature conservative man behavior and eventually is like “oh should we just get back together wink wink” and i’m like RREEEEEE GET ME OUT OF HERE *gags*.

i don’t know how the dream ends. i remember wanting to text the dream boyfriend-turned-ex, but not doing it because he isn’t texting me. but then, he’s like applying to this position that i’m in charge of reviewing? and then, i’m not certain what happens LOL. i’ll hope for dream me that she gets a happy ending, whether that be getting back with him and moving on. although dream boyfriend-turned-ex was truly a snatch — probably because he was only in my dreams AHAH.

wow this is my longest entry ever (so far) xd. maybe this is one of those dreams that are like premonitions? hopefully, i wanna date a man as good as dream guy in real life MDSLSPKSL.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What would a cw adaptation of Harry Potter look like?

Having not watched too many cw shows myself (I just hear about their nonsense), I phoned @therealvinelle who made the poor life choices of having watched much more of The Vampire Diaries than I have and watching any Supernatural.

The following is her beautiful response:

So for starters, we merge Snape and Tom's characters. This is because Snape isn't hot, and because Tom needs to be near the kids. Tom still looks like Tom Riddle, and he's a teacher who seduces Hermione. At no point are any thoughts about the fact that he's a teacher sleeping with a student had

Harry is a blond now, and he's also dating Hermione. A love triangle ensues, one where Tom will hover sexily but dangerously in empty classrooms and make vague threats that Hermione find very sexually arousing.

The love triangle is the focal point of this show.

Voldemort is Tom's evil alter ego, who killed Harry's parents over that prophecy. He wants to kill Harry as well, but it's not the season finale yet so he's not actually doing anything about it. Too busy seducing Hermione.

Instead he just does vaguely sinister things, like release a basilisk that Harry heroically saves Hermione from.

He every so often has charged conversations with McGonagall (Who has been aged down and is in her thirties. She's still considered ancient), implying they had an affair once.

Harry and Hermione piece together that Tom and Voldemort aRe ThE sAmE pErSoN.

(Piece together meaning that Dumbledore, who only appeared in the second half of the first season and the show never bothers to clarify what his job actually is, gets a focal episode where he tells them the story of Tom Riddle through flashbacks. Terrible flashback wigs and costumes galore.)

Tom will later, in season 3 where he goes full woobie and we learn that none of his evil deeds were ever his fault, reveal that there's more to the story. That orphanage he grew up in? It was a special school for muggle-borns where they trained a future wizarding militia. Tom was the only one who broke free of their oppressive regime. The other children... GREW UP TO BECOME THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX.

But I'm skipping how season 1 ended. The answer is that Hermione disavowed Tom in the season 1 finale since he was evil, he was too sexy bad boy to care except subtle wigglings of his eyebrow told the captive Tomione-shipping audience that he did in fact care. Harmione shippers think they're all delusional. She then jumped into Harry's arms.

Which was poor decision making on her end, because in season 2 Harry joins the dark side. This lasts for half a season, mostly because the arc featured so much filler. Tom, who was imprisoned in season 1, becomes Hermione's supportive pen pal through this ordeal and she starts to wonder if maybe there's good in him after all.

Sirius Black is introduced, he's a lawyer living in the Muggle world and he was in love with Lily. We get a flashback showing us how sad Sirius was when she married James, and there is buildup for an arc where Harry's paternity will be questioned. This arc is scrapped, and Sirius is written out of the show altogether, never to be mentioned again.

Ginny gets pregnant by Neville. Neville dies tragically shortly afterwards, killed by Harry because Harry is a dark wizard now. This is actually the spinoff door episode to the new show the CW is trying to launch, "The Weasleys".

Neville's death has no real consequences, Harry returns to the light and is forgiven in time to become the child's godfather.

Oh, and can't believe I forgot: they've all been aged up to 17.

End of season 2, Tom escapes prison.

Season 3, we get the whole "DUMBLEDORE is the real villain!" arc. Tom killing Harry's parents in season 1 is forgotten, the show doesn't outright retcon it but it doesn't want the viewers to remember it either.

Hermione is once again in a love triangle, only this time Tom and Harry have both done bad things (but we'll only bring up the 2 bad things Harry did (killed Neville and said a mean thing to Hermione) and none of the 282985204592 bad things Tom did) so Hermione has a hard time.

Hermione also discovers that she's a uniquely powerful witch. She has the power to make windows shatter, candles flicker, and wind blow all about. Everyone is frightfully impressed with this.

Mid-season 3 finale, Dumbledore destroys Tom's body. It's terribly dramatic, but then turns out to only be a mild inconvenience as he is resurrected four episodes later. He's resurrected by Hermione's window shattering powering, she closed her eyes very intensely and bam, he's back.

We learn about the horcruxes, which by themselves are shockingly similar to the horcruxes of the original books. The big change, however, is that this Tom didn't know he had horcruxes, those evil bastards at the orphanage split his soul in the night through ominous rituals (another flashback here). He has no idea where this other half of his soul is.

Season finale, we learn that Hermione is in fact his horcrux. This is why they had so much in common (they don't have anything in common) and why she got through his bad boy persona (he hasn't been a bad boy since season 1!). They were soulmates this whole time!

Harry despairs in the face of this, and he and Hermione have a teary conversation where she confirms that yes, the Tomione shippers won.

He also has a pleasant conversation with Tom, as a bromance has bloomed between the two.

Alas. The episode ends on a cliffhanger, as the door flings open dramatically. Dumbledore walks in, bearing proof that Tom made an Unbreakable Vow to always serve the Order, a Vow that was obliviated from him. He drags Tom kicking and screaming away from a crying Hermione, the season ends with her resolve to find a way to save him.

(Sorry, I'm on a roll here)

Season 4, a year later. Harry and Hermione have been searching ever since Tom disappeared. They've become closer than ever, but apart from three or four moments of extreme sexual tension per episode, Hermione is Faithful™

News of Tom's terrorist actions as an Order member reach them with regular intervals. Hermione remains convinced that he's being forced to do all this and doesn't actually want to hurt anybody, Harry's not so sure.

They catch up to him in Minneapolis (did I mention this entire show takes place in the states? All the actors are American.) and he tells them to stop trying to save him. Hermione, devastated, takes this to mean he never loved her, he was only ever a psychopath playing with her feelings. She tells him as much, and Tom confirms, yeah, he's a cold-hearted son of a bitch (Harry's favorite insult for him).

They break up, and Hermione gets back with Harry. They return to their home city in North Dakota.

At the very end of that same episode, Tom is able to visit Harry for 15 seconds in the form of a specter and very dramatically tell him how he does love Hermione but he's not good for her, better to make a clean break, yada yada. DON'T LOOK FOR ME.

Harry agrees, sure no problem, he can do that. Just one noble bro to another.

Tom nods, thanks for having sex with my girl while I rot in hell, bro.

It is in this same season premier episode that the show introduces the Blacks. Remember Sirius Black? Yeah, this is sexy family.

They become instant fan favorites, and one of them is shipped with Tom (the fans now hate both Harry and Hermione).

Pandering as always, the show lets said character run into Tom. And it's not Bellatrix, oh no. It's Athena, a CW original Black. She's indistinguishable from the original Bellatrix and it's unclear why she's not just Bellatrix.

Tom is ordered to kill her, but they have a moment of truly intense eye contact so he only injures her (the killing curse doesn't exist in this show. Don't ask how Harry got his scar. No really, don't ask, the show never explained it). Shippers go wild.

Tom is eventually able to break free of the Unbreakable Vow through the power of true love (book fans are sobbing, this show gets nothing right), and he returns to Hermione, begs her to take him back. She rebuffs him, and he goes to get drunk at a bar. This is where Narcissa (aged down to 25) finds him. They have sex.

He has a brief fling with her, only to get into a more serious relationship with Athena. This leads to Hermione getting jealous.

We're now dealing with a love pentagon, of sorts. Harry and Tom love Hermione, Tom also loves Athena, Narcissa wants Harry but she has undeniable sexual chemistry with Tom.

The show descends into back-and-forth-ing, and does not get renewed.

The end.

POST SCRIPT:

The oddly popular side character that the CW never wanted to be popular at all and keeps having to make mysteriously vanish for half a season so that the plot(?) can avoid being derailed is Draco.

He's super competent but the show will never admit that.

Later, Athena plays this same role.

- @therealvinelle

[thefanficmonster]

Faux Innocence

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having the reputation of the innocent angel in the group, one could never imagine Y/N being such a badass impostor and expert liar but here they have found themselves fooled by the angel who wears that halo just for show.

Requested by @kpopgirlbtssvt Hello hun! Here’s the other request you sent me, I’m really sorry it’s been so long and you’ve had to endure such a long wait until it’s posted but here it finally is and I hope you enjoy the read! Love, Vy ❤

“They’ll be done for in no time! Right, babe?“ I stick my foot out to the side, nudging Corpse’s leg.

There most certainly are pros and cons when it comes to sharing a gaming/streaming/recording room with me, and the whether the constant pestering is a good or a bad thing is still up in the air. I mean, yeah Corpse rolls his eyes every now when I do it, but I’ve also caught him smiling about it out of the corner of my eye. Bottom line, I do it to invite that almost childishly mischievous smirk on his face. That’s the ultimate reward.

And ok, yes, I’m also the one trying to peek over the barrier separating out computers to peek at his screen to see if he’s impostor or not, but he tolerates that bad habit of mine. Well, he sprays water my way or gently whacks me with a pillow, but I consider that toleration. It’s a playful little dynamic we have going on, one we don’t have to perform today since we’re impostors together.

I cannot recall a time that has happened before. In fact, I can say I’ve been paired up as impostors with everyone but Corpse. I personally think it’s a practical joke the game’s algorithm is pulling on us, seeing as how we’ve been dating for quite some time now. I mean, that’s the only way to explain this coincidence of never being impostors together.

Looking at the subject now, it may be hella beneficial for us considering no one would suspect us both to be impostors together. Everyone is in on this ‘misfortune’ of ours and it’s honestly hilarious but Corpse and I are about to rip them a new one, I just know it.

“Oh, definitely! I’m the risky half, but they’ll never suspect you so we’re 100% winning this.“ He replies, sending a wink my way. He’s vaguely surprised when I return it with a narrow-eyed look.

“What’s that supposed to mean ‘they’ll never suspect you‘? I’m a great impostor! Is that you questioning my skills I’m hearing?“ I raise an eyebrow, turning my attention back to the screen which displays Corpse and I alone in Electrical, pretending to be doing tasks and waiting on our first victims.

“No! No, not at all. Far from it. It’s just that you are...well, you know...you are you. No one would think you’re the one dishing out all these tactical kills. You always seem relatively interested in the game only to have fun and not to win and....“

“Look sweet and innocent.“ I cut him off, finishing his sentence, “Yeah, yeah, I get your theory.“ Suddenly, I hear Rae’s chipper voice approaching, talking to her chat, I’m assuming. This gives me a rather...interesting idea. With that in mind, I give Corpse a side-glance and a devilish smirk that’s promising trouble, “Let’s test it out, shall we?“

“Wha-?!“ Before Corpse can even say his question fully, Rae wanders into the room, cutting him off with a question of her own.

“Test what out?“ She asks, coming to stand between us, doing her own task.

I’m so sorry, Rae

Before anyone could fathom it, I swiftly kill Rae and report her body, all seemingly in the blink of an eye. Corpse hasn’t even fathomed half of this insanity when he hears an accusation being thrown right at him.

“Corpse, how could you?!“ I cry out, and damn - not to toot my own horn or anything - but I’m pulling off the ‘distressed friend-witness‘ act quite well. I bet Corpse would give me an impressed look or mouth ‘minx’ at me if he wasn’t staring at his screen with his mouth agape. “You were planning to blame it on me weren’t you?!“

“Wait...no! That’s not-It wasn’t me! I swear it wasn’t me!“ He finally finds his voice, croaking out desperate defenses, each cut off by a wheeze of something alike shocked laughter that almost gets me to break out in a fit of my own.

“Very convincing, buddy. He’s definitely innocent, you guys...“ Toast comments just as the ‘VOTED‘ sticker pops up above the icon of his avatar in the meeting.

“Right? How could you even think otherwise?“ Leslie backs him up, the sticker appearing on her icon as well.

“Guys! No, for real, it’s Y/N! I swear on Bingus it’s Y/N!“ He probably should’ve used something more convincing, not that it would’ve worked either way. I’m a ‘trustworthy‘, ‘innocent‘ and ‘honest‘ person, just like Corpse said. Aren’t I?

Mere seconds later, he’s shot off the ship, the screen confirming he indeed was an impostor, automatically getting the blame off me cause no impostor would be dumb enough to out their partner like that, lowering their chances at victory. I don’t consider that a dumb move though - I think it’s rather genius, actually. 

“Don’t worry, Corpsie.“ I give him a wink in return to his death glare, his arms crossed over his chest, looking quite unamused. “I’m winning this one for you.“

We both know I can and I will. Of course I can when I’m given the advantage of faux innocence everyone falls for - in more ways than one, if you know what I’m saying *wink* *wink*

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[duxpuella]

Headcanons for makeout sessions with Charlie D. and (gn!) reader

<Atention: Modern AU where Neil lives, and Welton’s a boys & girls school.

Warnings: +16 content, TV-MA, if you're under 16y or feel uncomfortable with the prompt please do not interact! Nothing way too explicit, but there's a lot of sexual insinuation. >

Note: Y/n - your name/ Y/Ln - your last name/ Y/fn - your friend’s name; I will do a series in this prompt with each of the poets separately!

Tagging: @graciehams; https://duxpuella.tumblr.com/post/653728372251410432/i-will-take-this-as-a-yes-and-do-it ;

Also, here’s my Charlie playlist, hope you enjoy it!

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Charlie's kiss is fast and passionate. If he has time to spare, he will deep the kiss as much as he can. Otherwise, it will just be desperate and passionate but not clumsy. Charlie knows what he's doing. His hand will be on the back of your neck, the other will be all over you. Either way, once you're both done, you'll feel like you've just run a marathon. Good luck catching your breath, Charlie will be smirking at you waiting to start again.

Let him lead or lead yourself, he doesn't mind! All he wants is for you to have fun. If he's the one leading all you need is to tell him what you like, if you're leading please don't be gentle! Charlie likes it rough.

This boy doesn't have a special place. He will be up for making out wherever you are and the risk of getting caught is always an addition to the rush. But things might go better at his dorm room since Cameron always knocks and none of the other poets has the guts to enter his room when he's there without Cam.

Your first time with Charlie was really good. He knew what he was doing, and he did it well. From all of the boys, he was the most experienced one, but he would ask for vocal confirmation often (if you know what I mean ;) ). He would also ensure you verbally all along, "You're doing so well, love.".

Most likely to mark your body entirely, whether is with bites, hickeys, or scratches. His favorite part to mark is your thighs, especially if you're insecure about them. Mark his back, and he will take his shirt off in the first opportunity! He's proud of his battle scars.

Charlie can also make you melt under his touch and voice. If he feels you're tense, jokes will come one after another along with words of affirmation until you're relaxed and ready to go.

He is shameless and clueless. You will often find yourself getting rilled up by him in public until you need to excuse yourself. He will go after you a few seconds later, of course. "Oh, c'mmon! I'm here to redeem myself, love. Please, let me satisfied you? I'll behave from now on, promise!".

Charlie will plain and simply tell you if he's in the mood. But he will also show through his body, kissing you harder or being hard as well.

Finally, he likes to kiss you afterward which can often lead to a second or even third round. Charlie will not ask, but he likes to be the little spoon when you're both cuddling after all the action. Please pet his hair, it helps him sleep.

Hope you like it! I take requests by ask! (info on requests);

Also, you’ll find more of my writing here.