Tumgik
#oh they got everybody up in this bitch
frogmascquerade · 1 year
Text
.
0 notes
raindropsonwhiskers · 2 years
Text
.
2 notes · View notes
drewbydrewbydrew · 4 months
Text
I have a fucking master's degree and I've been beaten by a fucking couch and a coffee table
#And guess who's probably not gonna be getting any fucking help for like 3 weeks#Cause their boyfriend's always busy and when he's not everybody else needs to fucking babysitter or needs help with something#Which makes him so busy that I can maybe only see him for dinner once a week from maybe 30 minutes#So a total of 2 hours and a whole fucking month#The fact that I apparently have the schedule in fucking dinner to see him for 30 fucking minutes and yet these assholes can go and get drunk#I need a fucking babysitter otherwise go and have been fucking jail fucking let them rot#They need to learn consequences and either they learn it in a jail cell or I'm going to end up fucking drowning them#Like seriously I don't like being a bitch I've kept my mouth shut for fucking months and if I start talking now#Everybody's gonna be calling me a bitch and everybody's not gonna like me even fucking more#Whatever I just wanted to get the fucking couch and coffee table set up cause I got him today and I wanted them bill and put together#They didn't have to sit on the fucking floor anymore like I have had for the past oh 3 4 years now#But no no fuck my knees fuck my back fuck me having anything nice for fucking once#Am I overreacting? probably#But I spent 2 fucking hours trying to put together the goddamn couch back with instructions that are so fucking shitty#And that I've seen better instructions from a goddamn toddler and this couch is impossible to put together with one fucking person#And a fucking period started so I think I'm entitled to be a little bit of a fucking bitch right now and a little overreactive#Cause God it's not like any of them are gonna fucking see this this is my little corner of the internet and it's my little fucking diary
0 notes
Text
sonic the hedgehog tumblr dashboard simulator
0 notes
Tumblr media
💠 extremegayr Follow
got held up in traffic today cause some noob couldnt drive the fucking loop-de-loop. lmfao fucking coward
15 notes
Tumblr media
🎛 420zone Follow
ok but robotnik's kind of a dilf tho
🌫 wispgender Follow
he's literally a war criminal can we NOT do this tumblr
🎛 420zone Follow
Tumblr media
📰 its-no-use Follow
@wispgender dont u literally simp for nominatus like who is one to talk
🌫 wispgender Follow
NOMINATUS ISN'T REAL????
🛜 viralsensation-destructorofworlds Follow
that you know of
🌫 wispgender Follow
what
10,672 notes
Tumblr media
🔷 sonicinthewild
Tumblr media
43,834 notes
Tumblr media
☣️ lineinthesand Follow
saw sonic the hedgehog irl once. he showed up at my village, released 30 feral pickys in the town hall, paid the ice cream vendor roughly a thousand rings for a single chili dog, told me not to waste my life worrying about the little things, and then caused a fucking tornado
🧿 spiralhillspindash Follow
ok and??? you're not special
☣️ lineinthesand Follow
THIS WAS A PERSONAL POST GO AWAAAAY
173 notes
Tumblr media
🌠 chaoinspace2electricboogaloo
sucks that sticks the badger hates all technology you know she would do NUMBERS on here
568 notes
Tumblr media
☸️ r0u3e Follow
being an islander be like "are those the kind of eggsplosions i should worry about or the kind of eggsplosions that are gonna repair our crops, fix the economy, and bring my dead grandma back to life"
🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow
being a continenter be like "oh great what primordial diety has risen from the grave to block traffic and fight a 15yo today"
🥭 chao-official
being a chao be like "chao chao chao chao chao"
🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow
you said it my mans
579,056 notes
Tumblr media
🏵 sprinkles-the-chao Follow
hold on if sonic the hedgehog is jewish then how is he santa claus
🤖 e123-omegaverse Follow
dont question him
85,628 notes
Tumblr media
☣️ sparkygoboom Follow
hey guys real question are human/mobian relationships problematic
💠 extremegayr Follow
op is about to start the anthro church schism of the fifteenth year all over again
🛞 mobotropolis Follow
ok but in all seriousness did your mom never teach you that part of history
🎢 marxiobros Follow
someone doesn't know about the united federations public school system
🛞 mobotropolis Follow
what the fuck is a public school
⏭️ drowningmusic Follow
Tumblr media
⚄ paradoxprism Follow
are we gonna talk about op's chaos radiation fetish
💠 extremegayr Follow
OP'S WHAT NOW
🏞 mobiancrossing Follow
ok but am i the only one who thinks that the public school system would be a good idea if handled right? like i know it's traditional to learn from your parents and then experience the world on our own from the ages of 7-13 but like combining all our knowledge and learning together doesnt seem like a bad idea
☠️ fabian-vane-number-1-hater Follow
bitch that's what the internet is for
🌅 s0leanna-apple-barrell
yeah where else am i gonna learn to make infinite chaos emeralds
❇️ freesurge Follow
"infinite chaos emeralds" that's called the phantom ruby
🏳️‍🌈 rainbowwispforgayrights Follow
everybody on this site has brain damage
❇️ freesurge Follow
yeah. from the radiation
603,573 notes
Tumblr media
🐸 froggysfriend
caught this today
Tumblr media
🏝 digginginthegroundfortubers
if anything happens to this blog i genuinely hope eggman blows us all up as punishment
950,420 notes
Tumblr media
🐊 teamchaotixofficial
Hey guys! Sorry to do this again but rent's a little tight this month :( If we've ever solved a case for you guys or made you guys smile, please consider sending a ko-fi our way! we just need a few rings to get through the month <3
6 notes
Tumblr media
🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow
do we ever talk about that time the sky turned blood-red and shadow the hedgehog's demon dad descended from on high to murder us all and we only barely survived
❤️‍🔥 songoose4evr Follow
shadow fixed it it's fine
🎮 n0cturnity
yeah that was like twelve apocalypses ago move on
🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow
kinda wanted to bang black doom tbh
🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow
THE DEVIL???? FROM THE BIBLE????
🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow
yeah. move over gayboy i'm boutta be shadow's new dad
856,301 notes
Tumblr media
🗑️ berrybarry
starting a conspiracy that time hasnt moved since 2006
🗑️ berrybarry
why the fuck was i shadowbanned after posting this
8 notes
Tumblr media
🤡 clownfinite Follow
tfw you finally save up enough rings for ice cream and you go outside and get hit by swatbot pieces and the rings just go fuckin everywhere
Tumblr media
587 notes
Tumblr media
🔷 sonicinthewild
Tumblr media
34,452 notes
Tumblr media
🌌 h-o-l-o-l-y-n-x
so did y'all see that genesis wave or was it just me
0 notes
Tumblr media
🆙 planetsgiantcrack Follow
the virgin tweeter "if you use a bad word in the same tweet as the word 'cream' you get obliterated off the site" vs this chad site of "i want to put knuckles back in a microwave"
💟 presidentyaoi Follow
BACK????
69,849 notes
Tumblr media
⬜️ chao-and-wisps-4-ever-so-cute-2 Follow
ok posting my first fanart to this site pls be nice! <3
Tumblr media
2 notes
Tumblr media
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
why does tails look like he's always about to say "it fucken WIMDY"
🦊 miles-prower-official
Hello, @emeraldfwuitgummy!
I actually quote that image on a constant basis! Sonic thinks it's hilarious every time. He's quite the fan of memes, and it's nice to get a laugh out of him!
Formally,
Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
SO WAS ANYONE GOING TO TELL ME THAT TAILS WAS ON THIS FUCKING SITE OR--
🏅 iwishhumanswerereal Follow
do. do you not know he created tailblr. dude it's in the name lmao
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
he
WHAT
🍭 milfwisp Follow
didn't eggman invent this site???
🪫 veganswatbot
THE EGG ABANDONED SCRAMBLR IN ITS TIME OF NEED AND THE FOX RAISED US FROM THE ASHES. YOU WILL NOT DISRESPECT HIM
🦊 miles-prower-official
Hello, @milfwisp and @veganswatbot!
Very good question! This site was Eggman's until I ate his bones. Thank you for engaging! :D
Formally,
Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
YOU
WHAT
🌭 sonicsays
what's not clicking
25K notes · View notes
nkogneatho · 3 months
Text
Y'all know those insecure girlfriends on tiktok when their boyfriend does their makeup accurately, they go “what bitch taught you that?” yeah, Gojo is the male version of that.
He knows he is attractive, and that everyone dotes on him. But you look out of this world. Everybody wants you. Like all of his friends have tried to hit on you a few times. They said it's just playful, but his insecurities kicked in.
One evening, you showed up to one of his totally unserious basketball games with his homies, cheering him every time he dunks.
“Suguru, my girl's watchin'. Gotta show off a bit, yeah?” he smirks, licking his lips his reflexes were so good that barely anyone else could keep up with him. It was like he had drank 10 liters of energy drink with the sudden speed boost.
You hopped in his arms when the match was over, peppering his face with kisses as he enjoyed his victory, showing a middle finger to suguru to which he rolled his eyes.
“you look so cool when you jump so high, toru!” you squealed in happiness. He really did look cool.
“hehe, you liked that, baby? Jumped a little higher just for you.” he kissed your forehead.
“hate to say it, but he is undefeated.” suguru spoke up. “feel like we need to put you on the court, y/n just to distract him so we can win.” your cheeks started burning up at that. You and satoru have been dating for a few months, but you were still not used to the way everyone talks about him as if he's a simp for you. well, he is and should be.
“i would still win though.” your eyes shifted to gojo. You were a little offended at that, even though it was just messing around. It was his habit.
“alright. Let's have a 1v1” the men did not miss the shift of your tone. Suguru knew satoru might be in trouble, while the white haired wasn't worrying about it too much. Because you're not too savvy with basketball aside from what he's taught you, and he is a pro. Sure, you would be mad later, but nothing he can't make up to you.
The boys spread in corners, as you and gojo exchanged a competitive gaze—yours was competitive and his was more of a “i love when you get riled up”—before the match began. The game was not anything serious, so all you had to do was score five points. It was a piece pf cake for gojo but you were being surprisingly competitive. You scored two points just as soon as he did. His homeboys thought that gojo was going easy on you but suguru knew he was struggling. But he lives up to his name and score two points, making him just 1 score away from his sweet victory. There's no way you can win now. If you miss this chance, it's over. But you remembered something someone had taught you and all that “i'd still win though” just pumped up enough adrenaline and oh. my. god.
Gojo's jaw dropped as you shot a three pointer, your lips widening into an evil grin, and all the boys cheered at your win. You were sure they're gonna tease him about today until eternity. Toru was impressed…well, for a few seconds before he hit you with a,
“which motherfucker taught you that? because I don't remember teaching you this yet.” you were laughing but his reaction was genuine.
“hey, c'mon now. don't call me a motherfucker.” suguru slid in, a hand resting on gojo's arm. “i'm a good teacher, aren't I?” he winked at you.
“the fuck? When the fuck did you teach her?”
“last week when we were playing at toji's party.” gojo was too busy playing beer bong at that time.
“thank you, suguru. And you…" you looked at your man, "where is allat “but I'd still win though” attitude?” you mocked him.
“ight fine. you got me. i was just messin' around and ya'know that. don't get mad at me, baby,” he snaked an arm around your waist. “we're both winners. We gotta celebrate properly, right?” he leaned closer to your ears.
“now let's see who wins in the bedroom, tonight. hmm? You know i gotta settle the score, princess.”
5K notes · View notes
robot-roadtrip-rants · 2 months
Text
something I like about Warhammer is how it crams all these standard tropes into a blender with the most batshit ideas possible and then hits puree. Oh you like Jesus? You like a little Jesus archetype in your stories? Well we got you some Jesus. We got SPACE VAMPIRE ANGEL JESUS up in this bitch. Yeah, he’s super pretty and angsty and has a teardrop tattoo and everybody loves him! That’s right, motherfucker, we read all the embarrassing Wattpad fanfiction you wrote about your self-insert when you were thirteen, and we stole ALL your ideas and turned them into a viable character! Who is SPACE JESUS! How do you like them apples, motherfucker!
804 notes · View notes
cynical-ghost · 26 days
Note
more platonic grid x reader, we say in unison ! i love how chaotic reader is and you’re so fucking funny 😮‍💨 please and thank you !
DANCING QUEEN
Pairing: Platonic Grid x fem!driver!reader
Genre: Smau- social media, chaos…
Warning(s): use of Yn, foul language?
Synopsis: It’s Yn’s 17th birthday…
A/n: This is for you Nonnie🫶 I’m so glad you liked my other platonic grid fics! I was listening to ABBA and my writing block was cured. Thank you ABBA, we say in unison🤭
Ynforeal
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Liked by Maxverstappen1, Charles_Leclerc, Oscarpiastri and 1,974,263 others
Ynforeal winning while hungover is one for the books! 🏆🍾
Alpinef1team change the caption. (management made me write that, 17 and hungover looks good on you gurllll 🫶)
Ynforeal I will (I’m not gunna, Thankssss girllll!!)
Motheryn WELL DONEEE, happy birthday for yesterday!!!!!!
User15 does anyone know what Yn did for her birthday??
Landonorris you don’t wanna know…
User15 now I wanna know even more…
Oscarpiastri 🤫
Maxverstappen1 Congrats 🍾
Ynforeal I can feel your enthusiasm through my screen Maximilian😒
Maxverstappen1 👍
Landonorris YEHDNDB WELL DONE GIRL CONGRATULATIONS!!!! 🙌🍾🏆🥳
Ynforeal THANKY YOU LANDONNNNN
Landonorris Take notes @/maxverstappen1
Maxvertappen1🫡
Charles_Leclerc 🍾 one for the books indeed Yn, proud of you for not throwing up in your helmet!! 😂
Ynforeal thank you Charlie! It was a very close call but then I realised I couldn’t see max in my mirrors and wanted to piss him off 😂
Maxverstappen1 what, is it ‘hate on Max Verstappen, three time Wdc, day’ 🧐
Ynforeal had to put the titles in didn’t you. Did it make you feel better?
Maxverstappen1 yes, yes it did👍
Landonorizzz anyone got pics of Yns birthday?
Ynforeal Posting them later, couldn’t post them before the race otherwise I could have been disqualified 😂
Landonorizzz OMFGSJSBD SHE REPLIED TO MEEE OMFBE
Ynforeal I REPLIED JEBDJSKSNSB SO HAPPY DOR YOU HDHSJS
Landonorris
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Liked by Ynforeal, Oscarpiastri, Carlosainz55 and 984,892 others
Landonorris HAPPY 17th TO MY MAIN BITCH 🥂💸🤩
Ynforeal YASSSS JFBSBDJS VOTTA FEED MY BABY
Landonorris 🍼🍼🍼
User15 BIRTHDAY POSTS! I RÉPÈTE BIRTHDAY POSTS ARE POASTING RN AJBDAN
User12 These we definitely already made and were waiting to be posted
Landonorris you are correct! we have a bet that whoever doesn’t post their birthday draft they have to pay up 💰💰
Maxverstappen1 how many cakes did you have in the end Yn?? 😂
Ynforeal 3 in total, one family friendly one from my family, one from my crew, and one from you guys🎂🍰🧁
Maxverstappen1 🐖 <- you
Ynforeal 🐍 <- you
Maxverstappen1 😱
Ynforeal you little snake 🐍 shshsshshhs
Maxverstappen1 oink oink teef (bitch)
User56 I’m new do Yn and max hate Each other or something? They seem close irl but their comments say a different story.
Motheryn they have a sibling dynamic, that monstrosity is how they show their love for each other 😂😂
User56 oh thank goodness😂😂
Maxverstappen1
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Liked by Ynforeal, Charles_Leclerc, yourbff and 2,463,643 others
Maxverstappen1 HAPSPY FKINWSG BRTHDAY SISTAAA, HWO DO YOU TRN CAPITSL LTTERS OFF, thnk you birthday batch🫶💕💸💰🥳
Ynforeal I KNEW YOU LIVED ME MAXAMILLIAN !! You are deffo regretting getting pissed last night, how are you feeling about this?
Maxverstappen1 never speak of this again, I didn’t want lando to win the bet 🙄
Ynforeal uh hu, never letting you live this one down Maxine👍
Maxverstappen1😀
User23 is this actually happening rn, how drunk was max last night 😂😂
Landonorris I think this tops my birthday post🤣🥲
Maxverstappen1 tAkE NoTeS @/Landonorris
Landonorris my own words used against me 🔪❤️
Redbullracing Your 3 time world champion everybody 👏
Yourbff max you should get drunk more often 😂
Ynforeal IKR!!! He’s a big softy really 🤭
Maxvertappen1 😑
Ynforeal
Tumblr media
Liked by Maxverstappen1, landonorris, yourbff and 3,158,321 others
Ynforeal 17 DANCING QUEEN JSHDHDKAN MAXIE KS FUCKED, I said I wanted to go carting but all we had was trollies 🛒😂😂💸🍾🎂
Landonorris HAPPY BIRTHDYA
Yourbff My beautiful bestie yasssss
Ynforeal luv youuuu 🫶
Yourbff 🤭❤️
Maxverstappen1 I can’t deny it 🙂
Ynforeal 🥂🍾🍺🍻🍷🍸🥃🍹<- you
Maxverstappen1 🛒🎉🥳🎂🎁🎈🎊<- you
472 notes · View notes
stark-ironman · 1 month
Note
I need Hugh who is needy but the reader is a bit of a bully because maybe she’s jealous or something idk I need him under me pretty please
Needy (Hugh's turn)
Tumblr media
18+ No Minors
Warnings: jealousy, oral (f recieving), face sitting
It's the annual Christmas party that Hugh throws every year, inviting all of his good friends over to share a meal and a nice little get together which you both look forward to every year. That is until one of Hugh's old co-stars was invited and she's taken it upon herself to follow Hugh around like she's a lost puppy.
You tried to bring it up to him in a quiet, nice way but all he wanted to do was reassure you that he wasn't going anywhere and that he would never leave you.
So here you are, standing with a group of friends, staring at your boyfriend laughing at a joke the girl just told. Jealousy pours through your veins and you're pretty sure everybody can tell from the look on your face but they don't dare to bring it up.
"Y/N, you know Hugh would never hurt you. He's a nice, loyal guy who's too oblivious when someone flirts with him." Ryan tries to simmer your anger but it doesn't work. "It's not him I'm mad at. It's the bitch standing next to him who knows he's taken." You grit through your teeth, watching as the girl places a hand on Hugh's stomach, leaning into him while laughing.
That's it. You start walking over there, hearing Ryan mumble an oh shit, slide in between Hugh and the girl, hugging him tightly as he leans down to kiss you. "There's my girl. I've missed you." Hugh smiles, looking down at you. "Ryan started a debate so I had to prove him wrong," You both laugh and you look over to the girl, "So, who's this?" "This is Cindy. She worked on the Greatest Showman in the make up department." He tells you.
"Nice to meet you. Even though Hugh and I was having a conversation before you interrupted." The girl says and you look at her with a scowl. "Oh, you mean the conversation where you was placing your hand on my man?" You innocently ask, feeling Hugh tense up.
"If he was your man then you shouldn't be off with other guys at a party he throws." She fakes a smile. "And if you wasn't such a slut then you would have done what every other woman who was invited tonight has done and that not flirt and put their hands all over him."
"I didn't hear him telling me to stop so that's on him." She shrugs and it makes your blood boil. Hugh grabs your hand, pulling you close to him and you sigh. "The fact that you prey on men who don't realize you're flirting with them is sad. No one should have to be that desperate for a piece of dick to sit here and go after someone who is in a happy relationship, especially when there's plenty of other single guys here. Now, either you leave or I call security and force you to leave." You state, pulling Hugh away from the girl as you walk away.
He follows you closely, desperately trying to get your attention but you don't give him any until you're outside. "Love, I'm sorry. I didn't know she was flirting with me." He tries to explain as you lean against the balcony. You ignore him, noticing he's starting to fidget with his fingers.
"You know I only want you. I've wanted you from the moment we met 4 years ago. Please forgive me." He whimpers, feeling his heart shatter at the look you give him. "I watched you two for two hours. Two! And you let her touch you. Touch what's mine." Your voice raises and you notice he starts picking at his fingers harder.
"I told her to stop but she wouldn't. I was only trying to be nice because nobody would talk to her." Hugh whispers at the end and you finally take a moment to look into his eyes, seeing him on the verge of breaking down.
You walk over, grabbing his hands and kiss them softly. "I'm sorry I got so jealous. I don't like it when people touch you, especially ones who know I'm there and do it just to see what will happen." He hugs you tightly, kissing the top of your head.
"I really didn't know she was flirting with me. I don't know what I thought it was but the only person I care about is you. The only person I love is you. You never have to worry about me leaving you for somebody else." His voice is full of sincerity, causing you to bury yourself in his chest.
You both stay there for a moment before you straighten up and grab his hand again. "I think I'm going to head to bed but you can go back to the party if you want to." You say, walking back inside. "I'm going to tell everyone to go home. It's late and I want to cuddle." Hugh states, causing you to laugh. "Alright, I'll go wait for you."
You both head your separate ways and on the way to the bedroom, you get an idea in your mind to remind Hugh just who he really belongs to. You strip down to your lace lingere, smiling softly as you wait for Hugh.
Once he walks in the door, you hear his breath catch when he sees you. "Fuck.." He moans, walking towards you and reaching out but you stop him, smirking. "I want you to undress and get on the bed." You tell him and he immediately begins to undress, keeping his eyes on you as he slides up to the pillows.
You crawl on top of him, his hand instinctively grabbing your hips while you lean down to kiss him. "I'm going to show that bitch and everybody else that your mine. Understood?" You ask, hearing a whimper in response so you ask again, this time with him answering you.
Your mouth ghosts over his neck, causing goosebumps to raise before you bite down on one spot, moving slightly down as you leave a trail of hickeys down his neck. He grinds against you softly, moaning your name out loudly. "There you go, my needy baby. Use your voice and tell me what you need."
"I need you.. always you." A groan falls from his lips as you move further down his body. "You sure you don't want the girl who was all over you tonight?" You ask, looking up at him. "No, love. I only want you."
You slide your panties off, climbing back up to kiss him softly. "I'm going to sit on your face and you're going to show me how bad you need me." You state as he takes a deep, stuttering breath, watching you move to hover over him and he wraps his arms around your legs, flattening his tongue against your heat, lapping up any trace of wetness before closing his mouth down on your clit, causing you to moan out.
He moans while he sucks and pulls on your sensitive area, pulling away at times to flick his tongue over it as well, causing you to grip his forearms tightly. You look down to see him staring up at you with need, feeling a burst of love shoot through your body.
The way he starts eating you out is messy, hungry, with a deep rumble coming from him. You fight the urge to grind against his tongue, trying to stay composed with authority but you can feel it slowly slipping away.
He moves down, sliding his tongue inside of you as he moves his hand up to your clit, letting his long fingers press against your heat, rubbing in a sweet, swift motion.
"Fuck, Hugh..." You moan, gripping his hair as a familiar feeling rushes their your stomach. Before you can warn him, your orgasm sweeps through you but he doesn't move, in fact, he tries to move deeper into your heat.
Letting you ride it out, you slide down to his stomach and see him staring up at you with those love-filled eyes, and his mouth covered in your juices.
"Don't ever question my love for you, darling. If you knew how much you consumed my thoughts, you would never worry about anything. I'm all yours." He rubs your thighs. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so jealous." You say, running your hand through his hair.
"Don't be sorry. It was honestly sexy watching you get pissed at her." Hugh laughs, licking lips before continuing, "Now, lay on your back and let me have my turn."
536 notes · View notes
subbmissivesuccubus · 9 months
Text
Bully Part 3
A/n: Happy new year/ New year's eve everyone! As promised, here is part 3. Thank you all for following and supporting me these last few months. Here's to a great year of smut ahead <3 <3 <3 I hope you enjoy your favorite pervy menaces <3
Disclaimer: Gojo X Geto X Fem!Reader. DUB-CON WARNING. READER ENJOYS WHAT’S HAPPENING TO HER BUT IT’S MESSY!!! Blackmail!!! Humiliation. Degradation. Free-use dynamics. Spankings. Public sex. Filming. Gojo gives a stranger permission to touch reader!!!
Tumblr media
"Who knew the three of them were...well...like that." Utahime said, immediately gossiping once the taxi started to move. "I can't say I'm surprised though." Shoko said, "They're practically attached at the hip."
The girls and Nanami were sharing a cab to get back to their dorms, gossiping about what had happened during dinner. It was a fun night of drinks and banter, ended with their friend being kissed by Gojo and Geto. When asked about the nature of their relationship, the two men responded by saying they were…fuck buddies.
"She could do better." Utahime said, "I don't get why she's settling for those assholes."
Nanami looked out the window as he allowed the chatter to wash over him, not really paying attention. His mind couldn't help but go back to a week ago when he and Gojo were in class together, the only ones there and he noticed his lock screen...
"Gojo, what the fuck?" Nanami snarled as he looked at Gojo's phone, his screen flashing up as he received a message. There was a naked woman's photo set up as his lock screen, her face out of frame to accommodate her breasts and her spread legs and Nanami didn't want to even think about what was dripping out of them.
"Oh, my bad." Gojo said casually as he picked up his phone, "But she's hot right? She's my new fuck buddy~"
"Not interested." Nanami said, clicking his tongue in annoyance, "Just keep that shit to yourself. Why do you have that as your phone background?"
Before he got an answer, Geto and you walked into the room, asking them what they were talking about and when Gojo showed them the screen, Nanami noted your reaction. He didn't too much of it at the time, assuming your flustered and angered expression was over how vulgar Gojo was but now he wondered...
No. There's no way that was you, right?
Right?
~~~~~
"What the fuck was that?!" you screeched once Gojo closed the door of the taxi, smacking them both across the shoulders, "Why would you say shit like that?! Telling everyone we're fuck buddies- what will they think of me!?"
"It's the truth, right? Stop your bitching." Geto snarled on your left.
"Exactly. I'd rather you use your mouth for something else." Gojo said on your right, his fingers moving to tug at his pants, starting to undo his belt.
"Wh-What the fuck are you-" you sputtered, your eyes flickering over to the taxi driver who seemed to be paying you no mind but-
"Oh, don't worry about him. He works for my family." Gojo said, pulling his hard cock out of his pants before he tapped on the driver’s seat, "Hey, you don't mind if this whore sucks my cock back here, do you?"
You yelped at Gojo's words, face a bright red as you heard the taxi driver chuckle. "Enjoy yourself, boss." he said, not even looking back as he put up the divider, giving the three of them some privacy.
"There we go. Happy?" Gojo asked as he leaned back against the leather seat, his arm reaching up to grab you by the back of your head. You gasped as he gripped onto a handful of your hair and tugged harshly, his hold on your unrelenting as he started to pull your head down to his lap.
"Get to sucking."
~~~~~
Oh God.
Oh God.
You ran your hands through your hair, eyes wide as you went over what happened last night. You had hoped it was a dream but...it wasn't. You got fingered in the restaurant, got kissed in front of everybody by your bullies before said bullies announced that you were all fuck buddies.
They got you back to one of Gojo's penthouses, (the bastard so rich he had multiple houses he could just use whenever he wanted) and once you reached it, having sucked them both off in the taxi, they cleaned you up the best they could before the three of you passed out on the bed. You fell asleep the second your head hit the pillow, too drunk and loopy to do anything else.
Which is how you found yourself in between them, the two men still sleeping as you contemplated moving country and changing your identity.
To your right, Gojo groaned, his eyes pressing tightly as he fought away the need to wake up, moving from his back to his side and throwing an arm around you. You froze as he pressed himself close to you, nuzzling his nose against your neck. "Fuuuuck..." he cursed, frowning, "My head is killing me..."
"Don't make it our problem." Geto groaned, woken up by his own hangover and Gojo's whining. He looked over at you, taking your appearance in, looking quite delectable in Gojo's oversized t-shirt.
"Mmph- gimme those tits..." Geto said as he fisted the hem of your t-shirt before he pulled it up harshly, bunching it all underneath your chin. You gasped as he immediately leaned forward and took a nipple into his mouth, his tongue lapping at it a few times before he sealed his lips around it. A groan on content left his throat as he started suckling on you gently, truly using your boobs as stress relief for his hangover, the pressure at which he sucked your nipple increasing and decreasing at a slow pace.
"I-I hate you two." you said even as a hand came up to thread through Geto's hair, watching as he closed his eyes and suckled on you. It was honestly a bit soothing, feeling him suckle on you gently and not maul on your nipple the way they usually did. Gojo grunted as he too moved down your body and took your other breast into his mouth, sloppier than Geto but still suckling on you hard enough to make your toes curl.
"Oh God...people are going to think I’m a whore..." you lamented, tossing your head back and accepting your fate, fingers threading through their hair as they used your body. "It's accurate." Geto teased, giving your nipple a few kitten licks before going back to sucking. "Exactly. And who cares what they think." Gojo said, running his tongue over the plush of your breast, making your whole boob wet with his saliva, "You're our whore and that's all you'll be."
"Whatever." you said, not even having the energy to argue. You simply lied down, almost going back to sleep from the sensation of them gently nursing on you. But within five minutes, Gojo was bored.
"Come on, let's go take a shower." Gojo said, pushing himself up with a groan as he got off the bed, but not before grabbing your wrist. Geto growled as Gojo pulled at you, not appreciating being interrupted as he wrapped his arms around you and glared at his friend even as he continued to suckle.
"Don't look at me like that." Gojo said, sticking out his tongue, "You can take her after I play with her."
'Play with her' meant him taking you to the shower and running his hands all over your body like a pervert, squeezing your flesh and washing every nook and cranny as he ordered you to stay still. Sometimes he'd fuck you- other time's he'd simply jerk off and cum on you- always something new with Gojo.
Geto growled, making you shiver at the sensation around your sensitive bud before he pulled away with a pop, a hickey already forming on the fat of your breast.
"Let's all shower together." he said, sitting up as well, "We have a mission today and the principal will kill us if we're late."
Oh right. You were assigned a mission with these two menaces. And if it wasn't tough enough dealing with them before they started fucking you, you can only imagine the shit you're going to have to put up with now. You sighed as the two men grabbed you and lifted you off of the bed, taking the t-shirt off of you and smacking your ass before pushing you towards the bathroom for a very...thorough bath.
~~~~~
"What's with the face?" Geto asked, tapping his finger on his arm as he waited for Gojo to finish getting dressed, "Doesn't it fit?"
"This- I can't wear this! It’s too short!" you protested, tugging at the skirt...if you could even call it that. You were wearing the school uniform but instead of your usual pants, the boys had demanded you wear something else. A mini skirt. The skirt only reached your thighs, even the slightest movements threatening to flash your whole ass.
"Might as well give the curses something to ogle at before they die." Geto teased, looking you up and down, nodding his head in satisfaction.
"Fuck you! I'm not wearing this!" you said, pressing your legs together as you reached for your discarded pants. But before you could even touch the fabric, you felt a sharp pain on your behind, a slap so loud and hard that it made you yelp, the force pushing you face first onto the bed. You whipped your head around, face hot as Geto stood above you, pushing up the skirt a bit to marvel at the red handprint he left behind.
"You don't have to wear it if you don't want to." he said as he pulled his phone out, pointing the camera at you and you couldn't stop him from taking a picture, "But it would be a shame if I accidentally sent this to the schools group chat~"
"...I'll wear it."
"Smart girl." Geto said with a laugh, the sound making your ears heat up in embarrassment. It made you shiver, thinking about all the material they had on you. Pictures, videos, text messages... they continued to torment you and it didn't seem like they'd get bored anytime soon.
And neither would you.
"Get on your knees and keep your face down." Geto ordered, still pointing his phone at you while he used the other hand to push the skirt up entirely, bunching it at your waist and exposing your panties, "Shake your hips. Grind that ass on me."
You gasped as you felt him move forward and press his crotch against your ass, his hardening cock obvious even through the fabric. He started to gently dry hump you, a somewhat bored expression on his face, like it was a chore to use your body to get off. He landed another sharp spank on your butt, reminding you that he was waiting for you to follow orders.
You bit your lower lip, fisting the bed-sheet tightly as you did as he asked, wiggling your hips and shaking your butt against Geto, gasping as you felt him grow harder against you. As you continued to shake, the door opened and Gojo walked in, dressed in his uniform as well.
He whistled as he watched the two of you, noting the redness of your ass cheeks. "Was she being naughty?" he asked, taking Geto's phone from him and continuing to film, giving his friend free reign to humiliate you easier.  "She tried to be." Geto said, reeling his hand back and spanking a cheek one more time before he grabbed your hips tightly, "But you know how she is. It's easy to put her in her place."
You yelped as Geto started to thrust against you, pushing his clothed erection against your clothed cunt as he dry humped you, the flesh of your butt rippling against him as he fake fucked you. Somehow, this felt more embarrassing than if he actually stuffed his cock inside you- it was like he couldn't be bothered to put in the effort but still wanted some pleasure.
He humped you a few times before he called it, pushing your hips away from him and making you collapse on the bed, your knees giving out as you panted against the bedsheet, face red hot with shame. You barely processed Gojo coming behind you, sliding his hand up your waist before he whisked your panties off, tugging them off of your legs before throwing them to the side. You were about to spread your legs, assuming the man was either going to eat you out or fuck you but he simply gave your butt a pat before saying:
"Get up. We gotta go."
"Wh-huh?" you babbled, watching as Gojo grabbed your skirt and pulled it down over your butt, the fabric barely covering you. You pushed yourself off of the bed and stood up, ears flushed as you once again were made aware of just how short the miniskirt was. All it took was for one small movement for anyone to see your privates. "Th-then why did you-"
"You thought being spanked was your punishment?" Gojo asked, a smirk on his face as he leaned in to kiss your cheek, "Nah. You don't get to wear panties."
"No- You can't!" you protested, pressing your hand between your legs, trying to pretend like your cunt wasn't gushing.
"Principal is asking if we've left yet." Geto said, interrupting the conversation, "I could send him a picture of you over Gojo's knee, getting your ass spanked and explain exactly why we're running late. Shall we do that?"
"...Let's go."
Gojo’s driver from last night was picking the three of you up and to your horror but not surprise, Gojo ordered you to sit in the passenger’s seat. You could feel the driver’s eyes on you as you tried to get into the car without flashing him, all decency thrown out the window as you practically covered your bare pussy with your hand as you sat down beside the stranger.
"Did you see her pussy?" Gojo asked once he settled down in the back, Geto beside him.
"I'm afraid not, Sir. She was covering herself." The driver confessed, quite expressionless.
"How rude. Hey," Gojo said, getting your attention as he tugged at your ear, "Spread your legs. Let him see your cunt."
You jumped, your ears ringing at his command, jaw dropping to the floor at the shameful demand. You pussy was already wet- "I- that's- I can't do that!"
"Either you spread your legs or I rip that skirt off and toss you out of the car. Your choice."
With a gulp, you took a deep, shaky breath, your heart hammering in your ears before you slowly started spreading your legs. You heard the driver’s breath hitch as your skirt bunched up, completely exposing your puffy pussy to him. He even leaned forward a bit to get a good look at you, making you close your eyes shut so you wouldn't have to see it.
You pressed your mouth close tightly so they wouldn't hear you moan.
"What do you think? Good pussy, right?" you heard Gojo ask, the other two men also leaning forward to look at you like they weren't more than familiar with your body.
"She's beautiful," the driver responded, "so puffy and cute~"
"Why don't you touch her a bit?"
You gasped, back arching off the seat as you immediately felt a hand on your pussy. Your eyes snapped open, watching as the driver had indeed slid his hand between your legs and was touching you. A total stranger was rubbing your cunt!
"She's so wet~" the man teased, a smile on his face as his fingers glided between your folds, the slick sound of your wetness echoing through the car, "Oh, she feels amazing."
"Doesn't she? She's a perfect little fuck toy~" Gojo said, biting his lower lip as he watched you get touched by the driver, a twinge of possessiveness popping up as he eventually ordered him to stop. The man immediately listened, pulling his hand away from your pussy before licking his fingers off your juices, the action making you moan in embarrassment.
"You know where to take us, right?"
"Yes Sir."
"Good. Get to it. And you," Gojo said, kicking your seat and getting your attention, "Keep your legs spread, got it? Give him something to look at while he drives."
After the long and awkward car ride where you kept your legs spread the whole time, the three of you were dropped off at your location (but not before the driver got to cop another feel). It was an abandoned location, decrepit and having a strong vibe of curses. The cursed energy was so strong it made your skin crawl and your teeth chatter. But you knew you had nothing to worry about. Not only were you strong, but you also had the two idiots with you who were labelled the strongest sorcerers.
It was strange that the curses were not the things that were making you nervous. You tried not to think about how you were used as a toy. As a plaything. As something they can give other people permission to use as they pleased. You couldn’t believe that just seconds ago- a random stranger had their hands on your most private part.
You tried not to think about how much you loved it. "Lead the way." Geto said, giving your butt a pat before you started walking. You didn't need to look behind you to know that they were taking pictures of you, Gojo one time practically putting the camera between your legs and taking an upward shot.
"Stop- I'm trying to focus!" you complained, pulling down the skirt as best as you could which you knew barely did anything.
"You'll only focus once you stop worrying about your outfit. It's just us here, after all." Geto said, "So flash that pussy and find the curse."
"I don't see you two doing any work." you said, cheeks red as you glared at them, "Find the curses, why don't you."
"Nah." Gojo said, idly scrolling through his phone, his glasses reflecting the photos he just took of you.
"The fuck you mean, nah?"
"It's your job to find and defeat the curses today." Geto explained, giving you a sly smile, "Do a good job and we might put in a good word with Yaga. Our recommendation means something, you know."
"...you guys are never that nice." you said, smelling a scheme, "what do you want?"
"We don't want anything." Gojo said, "And as long as you do as you're told, of course. Now push that skirt up and show me your ass."
You huffed, quickly realizing what this mission was going to be.
But hey, if you get a promotion through this...then perhaps you can stick it out.
You gripped your skirt and pulled it up, not having to do much as your peach butt got exposed. The two men laughed and whistled, getting enjoyment and more blackmail material: many pictures of you, in uniform, at a location of curses, flashing your butt. And this was only the beginning.
As you started tracking down the curse, your senses were on high alert and you gradually forgot about the skirt, the shiver you felt as you got in contact with the thick cursed energy making you decide that you needed to focus on the task as hand. You blocked out the two of them following behind you and you blocked out the sensation of your skirt riding up enough for your lower half to be almost bare. When you sprinted up the stairs, feeling a curse nearby, your skirt rode up completely and you only pulled it down once you reached the top.
In front of you was a curse, not a special grade but not weak either. It was a large, disgusting looking thing, oozing power but you knew it was not as strong as you.
"I'm guessing the two of you aren't going to help?" you asked, getting ready as the curse spotted you. "Nope." they responded, Gojo's phone out and pointing at you, taking a video, "all yours."
You didn't have time to respond as the curse suddenly lunged at you, dragging its disgusting body with surprising speed as it gained to attack. You sprinted around it, your body swift and deadly, understanding the way the curse worked in a matter of seconds. You countered every move with your own, slowly weakening it before you exorcised it, the curse dissipating in the wind.
"That was pretty decent, even for you." Geto said once Gojo stopped recording, "you didn't even let the fact that your whole pussy is out stop you from doing the job. Well done."
You looked down and sure enough, from all the running and the dodging and the fighting, your skirt had ridden up once more and your cunt was totally out in the open. You blushed and you quickly pulled the skirt back down, your ears turning red from the embarrassment.
"Fuck. I'm horny now." Gojo muttered as he pocketed his phone, "Hey, hands on the wall- I'm gonna fuck you."
"Wh-" you sputtered, blushing heavily, "But we're busy!"
"Geto can deal with it. My balls come first. Pun intended."
The black haired man rolled his eyes, a fond smile on his face as he said: "Fine. But I'm fucking her once I’m back so you better finish by then."
"No promises~"
Not caring about your response, Gojo walked upto you, gripping you by the back of your neck before he pushed you gently against the nearest wall, his other hand pulling your skirt up. Geto walked past the two of you, following the curse as he left you behind to get a pounding.
"Oh, you're so wet, you nasty bitch." Gojo snarked, grinning as he felt you up, his fingers sliding between your folds, "You loved walking around in this slutty little mini skirt, huh? Yeah, I know you loved it. Probably wanted us to fuck you this whole time."
"D-Don't flatter yourself!" you retorted, wincing as he pinched the plush of your butt before he changed your position a bit. "Mhmm. You're real fucking convincing. Now spread your legs. I want to fuck this nasty pussy."
 Grabbing you by the hips, he made you bend forward, your palms against the wall and your ass presented to him. He continued to play with your pussy, two fingers easily sliding inside of you while his other hand got to work on his pants. He simply slid them down enough for his cock to pop out, hard, throbbing and leaking pre-cum from the red tip. He tapped it against your ass, staining your skin with his fluid before he took his finger out and pressed the tip against your cunt.
He didn't care for foreplay and he didn't care if you felt good. He was here to fuck and that's what he was going to do. And you were going to take it.
"Oh yeah, that's a good pussy~" he groaned as he started pushing inside of you, his cockhead popping into you easily from how wet and dripping you were. You hated to admit it but running and around and flashing your privates had gotten you hot and bothered, even if you were just exposing yourself to the two men who were more than familiar with your body.
You gasped as he continued to bully his cock inside you, eventually bottoming out and spreading your cunt so deliciously wide. His groans were audible through the empty hallways, both his hands now grasping your hips greedily. With a lick of his lips and no warning, the man started to thrust, starting off a bit slow. Your moans jumped with each thrust, your ass rippling against his hips each time he fucked his cock deep, deep inside you.
Despite the many times you've gotten thoroughly pounded by Gojo, you simply can't seem to get used to his size. His cock was deliciously long and thick and each thrust in had his leaking cockhead pressed up against your womb. You slapped a hand over your mouth to muffle your noises on instinct, slick dripping down your legs and staining the floor.
"Fuuuuck- I'm addicted to this free use pussy!" Gojo growled as he not so gently smacked your ass, laughing at your squeal, "Bend you over and fuck you anytime- claim you as my personal whore. I fucking love it!"
“Shut the fuck u-u-upppp!” you squealed, his cock curving just right and bumping against your special spot, a rush of pleasure sparking through your spine. Gojo simply spanked you again before he used that hand to grab your hair, pulling at it roughly. You gasped as your head was pulled back, the pain of your hair being tugged at addicting.
“I felt your pussy tighten, bitch~” Gojo snarled with a smirk, “You love being bullied by us so much- it’s so pathetic and I love it.”
“You’re pathe- ohhh right there- right there!”
“Yeah? Here? Little bitch likes it when my cocks hits her right here?”
Gojo angled his hips so he hit your g-spot with every thrust forward, the clap of his hips against your butt practically echoing through the hallway. You couldn’t hold back your moans, little ‘uh-uh-uh’s leaving you as he pounded your cunt like a toy. You didn’t know how long the two of you were there for, fucking in the open, in the middle of the abandoned building. You were so focused on the pleasure that you didn’t notice the pressure of the curses suddenly disappear.
“Are you done yet? It’s my turn to cream her cunt.”
You groaned as Geto walked over to the two of you, wiping his mouth.
“I still got the taste of a curse on my tongue. I’d like to wash it down with her pussy.”
“Fuck- wait for a bit.” Gojo said, panting heavily, sweat marring his brow, “I’m almost done.”
“Nope. I’m not waiting.” Geto said, punching Gojo in the shoulder and ruining his rhythm, “Plus, there’s another curse that needs killing and I’m pretty sure it’s your turn.”
“You want- fuck-“ Gojo cursed, stilling inside you to give Geto a look, “You want me to fight a curse with a hardon?”
“Well, she fought one with her pussy out so I’m sure you can manage.”
Gojo sighed, rolling his eyes before he conceded, “Fine, fine. But you owe me one.”
“I do not. Now get going.”   Gojo pulled out of you, the slick sound of it making your body shiver as his erect cock stood tall, covered in your juices. He tucked himself back in his pants the best he could, his dick still straining against his pants as he quickly walked away, a determined look in his eyes. He wanted to finish off this final curse as soon as he could so he could get back to destroying your pussy.
Before you could even blink, a bit dazed from the lack of pleasure, Geto was on his knees behind you, his hands gripping your asscheeks before he pulled them apart and surged forward. Blood rushed upto your cheeks so fast you felt dizzy as Geto stuffed his face between your cheeks. He groaned as he rubbed his face on you for a bit, enjoying the feeling of your soft flesh against him like a pervert before he stuck his tongue out and got to licking. He took a long, greedy lick from your clit all the way upto your asshole, teasing your rim before slightly sticking his tongue inside.
Your body shivered, little gasps leaving your mouth at his shameless actions, the man starting to eat you out like a messy meal. He clearly didn't care if you felt good, his movements sloppier than usual, and obviously just wanted a taste. But that didn't stop your body from responding to him, your hips subconsciously pushing out in a silent plea for more, your pussy dripping. He lapped up your juices, drinking you down with a groan as his hands continued to squeeze and pinch at your cheeks.
“Fucking- perfect.” He moaned against you, his words vibrating your clit and making your knees shake, “Just what I needed.”
With a final, toe-curling suck to your clit, he stood up, ordering you to turn around and face him as he started undoing his pants. Your back was pressed against the wall, Geto standing close enough for your chests to almost touch. “Take your top off. Get naked for me.” He groaned as he fished his dick out, giving it a few tugs as he eyed you down like you were a piece of meat. You gulped, heart beating fast in your chest as you hurriedly started to unbutton your blouse, trying to pretend like you weren’t eager.
If they knew just how needy you felt…
Geto suddenly grabbed you by the waist once your buttons were undone before he lifted you up like you weighed nothing. You yelped as he slammed you tightly against the wall, feeling his cock throb against your eager cunt as your legs wrapped around his waist. He grabbed onto the cup of your bra before pulling the right one down, exposing that nipple. He bent down and took it into his mouth, the man clearly having an obsession with your tits as he started suckling.
His eyelashes tickled your skin as he ran his tongue over your sensitive bud, giving it a few flicks with the tip before sealing his lips around it and giving it a toe-curling suck. As he suckled, his other hand slid down and grabbed his cock, tapping it a few times against your pussy before he slid in, the glide easy thanks to Gojo’s previous pounding.
“Ah- fuck-yes-“ you gasped out, unable to hold yourself back, briefly registering that all traces of curses had disappeared in an instant, Gojo having finished the job. It was only a matter of time before he rushes to the two of you, demanding to be back inside you.
This was what you were expected to do for them. Be a pair of spread legs for them to use whenever they want- to be fucked silly- to be bred- to be truly and utterly degraded. Maybe Gojo would make you suck his cock. Maybe the two of them would swap places. Or maybe they’d finally fuck your ass.
From the corner of your eye, your vision blurry thanks to the tears from how harshly Geto was pounding into you, you could see someone hurriedly walk towards you, unbuttoning his pants along the way and you couldn’t help but let out a laugh among your moans.
Today was going to be a long day.
~~~~~
1K notes · View notes
sodavizz · 4 months
Text
Incorrect Quotes (/w Alastor)
* ☽ ・ 。゚・ ☾ *
Tried the incorrect quotes shit, it was pretty fun (just wanted to show my results as well haha...)
★⟣—— ——⟣★
Reader: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!
Alastor: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.
Reader: Stop.
xxxxxx
Reader: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.
Alastor: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.
xxxxxx
Alastor: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?
Reader: It was autocorrect.
Alastor: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?
Reader: Yes.
xxxxxx
Reader, looking at a selfie of Alastor’s: I hate this photo.
Alastor: I’m cute as fuck in that photo! I’m smiling kindly.
Reader: You’re not smiling kindly; you look like you’re up to something.
Alastor: Up to kindness.
Reader: ...
Reader: Kindness my ass.
xxxxxx
Alastor: We should be partners.
Reader: You mean like, partners in crime?
Alastor: Yeah... that’s precisely what I meant.
xxxxxx
Alastor: Go fuck yourself.
Reader: Come over here and fuck me yourself you coward!
xxxxxx
Reader: Go to hell!
Alastor: Oh! I’ve been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely.
xxxxxx
Alastor: Father, I have sinned.
Reader: Daddy, I’ve been naughty.
xxxxxx
Reader: Stop doing that.
Alastor: Stop doing what?
Reader: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you.
xxxxxx
Reader: How much did you spend on this date?
Alastor: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.
xxxxxx
Reader: *nudges Alastor at 3am* Pretty fucked up that we depict the moon as a girl and the sun as a boy. They're just floating rocks in space. Alastor? Wake up, Alastorr! Listen! They're sexless!
Alastor: The sun isn't a rock, go back to sleep.
xxxxxx
Reader: What do you want to be for Halloween?
Alastor: Yours.
Reader:
Reader: …yeah, that would be pretty scary.
xxxxxx
Reader: That was so hot, Alastor.
Alastor: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.
Reader: I'm so in love with you.
xxxxxx
Alastor: Hey, about that love letter you sent me-
Reader: *blushes* What are your thoughts?
Alastor: The fourth sentence-
Reader: Yeah, that’s where I got really emotional and I-
Alastor: It’s “you’re” not “your”.
xxxxxx
Reader: My hands are cold.
Alastor: Here, let me hold them.
Reader: My lips are cold too.
Alastor: *covers Reader's mouth with their hand*
xxxxxx
Reader: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?
Alastor: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?
Reader: Yes.
Alastor: I'd sleep.
xxxxxx
Waiter: What would you like?
Reader: Bring a milkshake with two straws.
Reader: *blushes*
Alastor: *puts both straws in their mouth* Watch how fast I can drink this!!
xxxxxx
Reader: I'm trash.
Alastor: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?
Reader: ...
Reader: You smooth motherfucker.
Reader: And yes it does.
xxxxxx
Alastor, watching Reader: Ah yes. The mysterious and beautiful Reader, so demure…
Alastor: …I wonder what sort of melodic sounds this wonderful being makes?
Reader: *screaming*
xxxxxx
Reader: We’re getting married, bitches!
Alastor: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.
xxxxxx
Reader: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.
Alastor: Aren't you forgetting something?
Reader: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Alastor's forehead before running out.*
Alastor: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?
xxxxxx
Alastor: Reader and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.
Reader: You brush your teeth?
★⟣—— ——⟣★
cant think if anything to post so just take this!
562 notes · View notes
a-dauntless-daffodil · 3 months
Text
Charlie Morningstar, actual princess of hell, sitting very stiff and straight and awkward on the throne of hell during a Formal Thing, looking very Uncomfy about it... until....
Vaggie: "Are you guys all blind? She's gorgeous up there."
Angel Dust: "No surprises YOU'D like seein' her all stiff."
Vaggie: "Fuck off. She looks dignified. Formal-"
Alastor: "Tense?"
Niffty: "Like rigger mortis!"
Cherri Bomb: "Like she's sitting on TNT."
Angel Dust: "Stiffer than a porn star tryn'a pay rent."
Husk: "I can hear her fucking teeth grinding through that forced grin."
Vaggie: "Alright, she's a bit nervous sitting on the throne of hell for the first time, filling in for the absent queen mom and the shut in king dad. So what."
Alastor: "It is becoming SLIGHTLY detrimental, ha ha!"
Vaggie: "You told her to sit still up there and look pretty. Look. She's sitting. She's pretty."
Angel Dust: "You're gay."
Vaggie: "Hi gay I'm her girlfriend."
Husk: (snorts)
Alastor: "I'm SURE she is ALL those things, my dear-"
Vaggie: "Touch me and the sleeve comes off with your arm in it."
Husk: (SNIGGERS)
Alastor: "-but she IS mainly meant to be inspiring CONFIDENCE in her ability to run hell as it's de-facto ruler!"
Vaggie: "And?"
Alastor: "Well it WOULD be nice if she could make the symbolic at of sitting on the throne of hell, in full view of what is MEANT to be HER royal court, seem just a BIT more, hrmm... NATURAL~"
Vaggie: "What the fuck does that mean. She's princess of Hell. However she sits on the dumb chair is natural."
Angel Dust: "Toots, she's third in line ruler of all Pride, an' she looks..."
Niffty: "WRETCHED!"
Husk: "Fucking pitiful."
Alastor: "Once again I shall go with TENSE."
Vaggie: "You want her to relax up there?"
Alastor: "I would rather say, it is VITAL that she does so~!"
Cherri Bomb: "No sweat. Someone give me a drink and I'll slip her a chill pill."
Vaggie: "No."
Angel Dust: "NO!"
Niffty: "I could try giving her acupuncture!"
Angel Dust: "Cherri, we've TALKED about this-"
Husk: "You fucking know how?"
Cherri Bomb: "-don't be sucha stick in the mud, Angie."
Niffty: "You PUNCTURE!"
Angel Dust: "I ain't being a stick in the mud! You-"
Husk: "Unholy shit stop giggling and give me that fucking knife-"
Cherri Bomb: "Yeah, and I wasn't gonna get her royal highness high for real. Just something to take off the edge-"
Angel Dust: "She's got no history with that stuff! She'd be a KITE!"
Vaggie: "Someone hold my drink."
Husk: "-and where the fuck are YOU going?"
Vaggie: "Gonna go help my girlfriend."
Angel Dust: "Whoa whoa wait toots- ya supposed to be lying LOW here, Vagisaurus! Ex-exorcist bitch, remember? Lot's a people here who'd like to KILL ya???"
Vaggie: "If anyone's pissed enough to run up the dais steps and try murdering the princess of hell's partner right in front of her then they deserve to get at least one hit on me. You guys have fun, stick together, don't get killed."
Husk: "Take your own fucking advice-"
Angel Dust: "-aaaand she's took off, right in front of EVERYBODY oh that's just GREAT."
Niffty: "Alastor? Do you want her to die..?"
Alastor: "Right now, dearest? Well! If it helps our princess put on more of a royal bearing, then I fail to see why she shouldn't!"
Cherri Bomb: "Dude."
-
Charlie: "-eighty-three million ducks on the wall, eighty-three million duuucks... take one down.... pass it around..."
Charlie: "-don't think about how easy mom made this look don't think about her seeing you up here and wondering where she went wrong and maybe she did and that's why she left don't think about it don't think-"
Charlie: "... eighty-two million nine-hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine-hundred and ninety-nine ducks on the waaalllll-"
Vaggie: (swoops down) "Hey."
Charlie: "-oh thank HELL Vaggie! I was just getting-"
(gets smooched)
Charlie: "..."
Charlie: ".... hhh...hi..."
Vaggie: "This armrest taken?"
Charlie: "What armrest. Oh! The THRONE right um no I mean yes you can, or- or we could get you your own chair if you want-!"
Vaggie: "Thanks babe, this is good."
Charlie: "It's- it's close!"
Vaggie: "Nice being on eye level for once."
Charlie: "or kiss level."
Vaggie: "Hm?"
Charlie: "NO NOTHING. Ahem!" (using gf's thigh as armrest)
Charlie: "Sooo, how's the party going down there?"
Vaggie: "Typical. Niffty brought a knife."
Charlie: "A knife? Just one??"
Vaggie: "We'll see."
Charlie: "I... guess just a knife's not too bad-"
Vaggie: "Heavenly steel."
Charlie: "H- Did you confiscate-?"
Vaggie: "Husk's working on it. I had better things to do."
Charlie: "Oh." (drooping) "Better things right. Other things. Just checking in on me huh? Um, what is the other things that need doing?"
Vaggie: "Charlie."
Charlie: "Shoot did I forget something?"
Vaggie: "You didn't-"
Charlie: "Something IMPORTANT?"
Vaggie: "Sweetie, you're things."
Charlie: "My things??"
Vaggie: "The things are you."
Charlie: "I'M things? What things- OH I'M THE-"
Charlie: "-I'm the things that need doing."
Vaggie: "Do you?"
Charlie: "N-not in public!"
Vaggie: "Guess you'll have to wait, then."
Charlie: "..."
Charlie: "You know, these are the only times I ever wonder about you maybe being a liiiittle itty bit evil."
Vaggie: "Punishment to fit the sin, babe. I've been having to look at you all evening."
Charlie: "I was WONDERING why your wings were showing!"
Vaggie: "You bring it out in me."
Charlie: "HEHEHEHEH."
Vaggie: "So now we're just gonna have to suffer together for the rest of the night."
Charlie: "That phrasing isn't helping."
Vaggie: "You playing with the hem of my skirt isn't helping."
Charlie: "YOU'RE the one almost sitting on my LAP."
Vaggie: "Emphasis on almost."
Charlie: (sigh) "I wish you were sitting on my lap..."
Vaggie: "You're basically melting into mine now, so there's that."
Charlie: "Your fault." (pouts) "Evil temptress of cuddles denied."
Vaggie: "Hellishly cute seductress."
Charlie: "Distracting tease."
Vaggie: "Speaking of distracting, think the whole room's looking this way now."
Charlie: "Can't blame them. You're lovely, Vaggie."
Vaggie: "Charmer."
Charlie: "Beautiful~"
Random Sinner: (charges over) "Murdering EXORCIST! You-"
(FwooOOM HELLFIRE)
Demon Charlie: (SNARLS)
Random Sinner: "...."
Random Sinner: "..... your wings are.. very pretty."
Vaggie: "Thanks."
Demon Charlie: "ANY oThER WORDS?"
Random Sinner: "C-congratulations on the girlfriend, your highness!"
Charlie: (beaming) (sparkling) "Thank you!!"
Random Sinner: (slightly charred) (eases back into the crowd)
Vaggie: "...."
Charlie: "I know I know..." (huffs) "That was a bit-"
Vaggie: "Hot."
Charlie: "Oh hush." (smirks) (drapes herself over gf's lap again)
-
Alastor: "...Well!"
Angel Dust: "She sure ain't stiff anymore."
Alastor: "Quite so."
Husk: "She's fucking liquefying."
Alastor: "Hrmm..."
Angel Dust: "Liquid like lighter fluid. She ROASTED that guy."
Cherri Bomb: "Are we like, SURE no one slipped anything in her drink..?"
Niffty: "Do you see any DEAD BODIES around Vaggie!?"
Cherri Bomb: "Uh, no?"
Niffty: "Awww. Then no."
Husk: "My grip hasn't gone limp though- Niffty, stop trying to take back the fucking angel knife."
Niffty: "THERE AREN'T ANY CORPSES HERE AT LEAST LET ME HAVE THIS!!!"
Husk: "Fuck no! You'll make corpses!"
Niffty: "I KNOOOOW!!!"
Angel Dust: "Not tonight, Niff."
Niffty: (hanging limply off of knife handle) (sobbing)
Alastor: "Oh dearest don't CRY~" (pats niffty) "Come now- why don't we RELISH how the crowd shies back in FEAR from our DARLING hotel founder!"
Cherri Bomb: "Uhh, they might just be cringing back from all the glittery rainbows..?"
Niffty: (sniffling) "Cr- cringing's good..."
Husk: "She sure as fuck does look full of pride now."
Alastor: "Indeed! MOST satisfactory!"
Cherri Bomb: "Gay pride."
Angel Dust: "In her fucked up battle scarred heavenly wash out murder girlfriend who's giving her big soppy I'm-so-in-love looks."
Alastor: "Ah HA...! Close enough~"
494 notes · View notes
httpsserene · 11 months
Text
𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐡 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐰/𝐥𝐧𝟒
Tumblr media
📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you’re upset with the switch up the internet has pulled on you. a few years ago, everybody was saying you were too pretty for lando, but now they’re drooling over him? you will not be letting this slide.  📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: fluff. mild angst. humor. twt users being twt users. reader is a fashion designer (not important but mentioned). reader is also wild af. brain-rot. not beta-read. 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: lando norris x fem!black!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: smau. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: spice girl • aminé
𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: in honor of lando's birthday :) look y’all—i saw one tik tok edit that was like “why is lando kinda…” and i audibly said KINDA???? and then i got mad like, how are people just noticing how fine he is. and then i saw another one that was like, “oh everybody thinks charles is the prettiest on the grid…but now introducing: lando” and i almost threw my phone across the room :) so this is inspired by me flexing that i have always thought lando was fine, and that i’m also mad that i have to share him. loves, this is complete brain rot and it took me years to recreate these ig posts for some reason; have fun reading !!!
all pics are from pinterest/op's
want to be added to my taglist or submit a request? send me an ask!
all of my posts can be found from my table of contents
anything on your mind? talk to me!
Tumblr media
twitter • three years ago, 2020
Tumblr media Tumblr media
instagram
yninstagram • three years ago, 2020
Tumblr media
liked by landonorris, mclaren, maxfewtrell, lewishamilton, and 16,175,978 others
yninstagram lando norris is the man i want to spend the rest of my life with. he’s perfection personified. the most soft, kindest, sweetest, considerate, and funniest man has allowed me the privilege of being his girlfriend. i’m forever thankful that we get to grow together. he’s the cutest, hottest, and prettiest boy to ME–and that’s all i care about, and that’s all you need to accept. i don’t give a FUCK about your opinions on who *i* should date. i’m the only person who’s decisions matter concerning my romantic relationships. why the hell should y’all bitches who don’t even use their own photos for their pfp’s and use a k-idol’s face instead, dictate who is hot or not. it’s incredibly vein, disgusting, and immature behavior from people who think they’re my fans. acting like jealous school children isn't cute; i was never your property. it’s hilarious too, considering some of y’all are grown women DOUBLE my age talking shit about my business–go worry about why your kids don’t want anything to do with you anymore.
tagged landonorris
view comments
yninstagram matter of fact, go ahead and change your little profile pictures to real pictures of you, i don’t want to see any filters. then we can all see that all y’all want to do is spread insecurity stemming from your own self-hatred 🙂
yninstagram and while i have you all here, my winter season clothes will be restocked on the 15th.
comments have been disabled.
Tumblr media
twitter • imessage • 2023
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
instagram
landonorris • august 24th • zandvoort ⚑
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by yninstagram, mclaren, carlossainzjr, and 547,930 others
landonorris back in my favorite place
view comments
yninstagram first!! stay back hoes 🤺🤺
➥ user being called a hoe by y/n is not what i expected this year
➥ user she has notif’s 😭on 😭 for 😭 lando 😭
yninstagram how r u so HOT 🥵
yninstagram that sweater is mine now 👺
➥ landonorris i can just get another for you love
➥ yninstagram …i want this one lan����
➥ landonorris okay it’s yours 🫠
user neither of them have any backbone when it comes to each other
➥ yninstagram as it should be 😤
user might have to trip and fall into lando’s arms this weekend
➥ yninstagram i’m flying in tomorrow rethink your plan 🙂
➥ user i think i’ll avoid lando like the plague this weekend 😅
➥ user smart decision babes
landonorris • september 12th
Tumblr media
liked by yninstagram, lnfour, tumitravel, and 425,395 others
landonorris coming in hot @ tumitravel
view comments
yninstagram come in me—i mean come home to me haha 😳😊
➥ landonorris babe please not in front of the sponsors 😧
➥ tumitravel oh no pls don’t stop for us 🫣 we stan y/n
user i saw this photo shoot LIVE!!! lando was so sweet, he signed my hat for me, and he smells so good 😩😩
➥ yninstagram i’ll chop off your nose and then you can be voldemort for halloween 👺
user i don’t know if i want to choke him or have him choke ME
➥ yninstagram how about me choking you
➥ user omg i’m down for a threesome 😳
➥ yninstagram choking you to death :)
➥ user i don’t wanna play this game anymore
landonorris • september 18th • singapore ⚑
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by yninstagram, mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 950,706 others
landonorris whatttaaaaa weekend ❤
view comments
yninstagram GODDAMN
carlossainzjr vamossss landito ❤️💪🏼🏆
➥ landonorris ayyyy 🧡🥳🥳
➥ yninstagram my boysssss 🥰
yninstagram that’s my boyfriend 🤤
➥ landonorris last photo is just for you 😋
yninstagram so proud of you baby, i’m running out of room to put all these trophies <3
➥ landonorris v happy to be your trophy husband
user i’m in love with this singapore haircut 🤤 thank you for not fucking it up lando 😅
➥ yninstagram mmm yes, i’m thrilled it’s still long on the top 😍 it gives me something to tug on
user surprised y/n allowed him to post that last one
➥ yninstagram he doesn’t need my permission, but i get to see him naked so i rdc
user quadrant helmet it so beautiful! i want it to stay 😭
➥ user i want him to fuck me with it on
➥ yninstagram out of pocket…but completely valid honestly—delete your account 😊
liked by landonorris
yninstagram carlando 1-2 makes up for the war i’m fighting in these comments
mclaren • novemeber 8th
Tumblr media
liked by landonorris, f1, yninstagram, and 97,293 others
mclaren pulling up fresh with @ landonorris
view comments
yninstagram not pictured: @ landonorris pulling up to OUR flat
➥ user y/n said “he’s coming home with meeeee”
f1 does he come with the jacket👀
➥ yninstagram no, but the price of me folding you like a lawn chair is included in shipping & handling
➥ f1 i’ll go sit down 😅
➥ user she’s fighting the f1 main??? this is mentally-ill behavior y/n!!!
yninstagram mclaren admin go stand in a corner and stare at the wall
➥ mclaren they made me post this!!! i would NEVER risk upsetting you ma’am 🙇🏼‍♀️
➥ yninstagram no talking from the timeout corner 🫵🏽
user we don’t care about the jacket. which organ do i have to sell to buy an hour with him?
➥ yninstagram both kidneys
➥ user but you need at least one kidney to live?
➥ yninstagram how,,,unfortunate
user model!lando always glowssssss
➥ yninstagram it’s the 9 step skincare routine i have him on, you can follow steps 1-8 on his ig
➥ user what’s step 9?
➥ yninstagram kissing me 🤭
Tumblr media
lando.jpg • novemeber 13th • with my wife ⚑
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by yninstagram, carlossainzjr, mclaren, team_quadrant, and 976,234 others
lando.jpg lucky to have found you so early in my life. you're my best birthday gift.
tagged yninstagram
view comments
yninstagram posting my side boob on the jpg account? forgiven since you called me your wife 🥺
➥ lando.jpg thought i’d start practicing your future title, mrs. norris
➥ yninstagram come back to bed. you can start practicing giving me your kids too.
user i want y/n to bury my head in between her boobs
➥ lando.jpg no. i sleep there also—you’re blocked 🤗
danielricciardo as long as i’m the godfather, i can forget i’ve ever read this 🤮
➥carlossainzjr get in line mate, i’ve called being baby norris’ godfather ages ago
➥maxverstappen wait your turn mates, clearly i am the correct choice for godfather
➥maxfewtrell ah, i believe you lads have forgotten my existence
➥yninstagram baby norris doesn’t exist yet, no need to fight to the death rn 🙄
➥lando.jpg i’ll convince the mrs to have four, for my racing number and so you each have a godchild 😅
user y/n may have won the war, but i’ve won the battle—bisexuals have been fed today!!!
➥user girl, i’m straight and i’ve zoomed in on the last photo an unhealthy amount of times
➥user i diagnose you with y/n-sexuality it’s incredibly common in humans
liked by lando.jpg
oscarpiastri you two are made for each other 😀
➥lando.jpg this sounds like an insult 🙂
➥yninstagram i thought kids under 13 weren’t allowed on ig
➥oscarpiastri you’re not even a year older than me @ yninstagram
mclaren mama y papa
➥ yninstagram still on timeout.
➥ mclaren :(
taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool @barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz
Tumblr media
© httpsserene2023
1K notes · View notes
cultofdixon · 9 months
Text
Only you understand
Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • There’s only one person on Daryl’s good side and it’s not even his brother. So when certain decisions led to leaving Merle chained to a roof, you were the one to talk to the youngest Dixon • ANGST/SFW/NSFW - Unprotected Sex / Groping / Grinding • TW: Canon Violence
Requested by: Anon
Tumblr media
She’s heard it all
Y/N I could use a favor?
Got a second Y/N?
Mind talking to them, Y/N?
Sweetheart, can I pick your ear about something?
It all falls around the same thing. Asking the Dixon Brothers for anything…mainly for help acquiring food within the woods that the sickos haven’t taken for themselves. But they did everything she asked. Some thought it was because Merle would do anything and everything for her attention even if she doesn’t give him an ounce of anything.
But it’s really Daryl. Y/N is the only one that the youngest Dixon brother tolerates and some, more like Glenn alone, believes the Dixon likes her personally.
“Y/N…we need yea for something” Dale didn’t mean to disturb the girl when she was in the middle of another batch of squirrels she was skinning to prepare for the stew.
“Dale. This must be serious” Y/N half jokes as she wipes her knife off with her rag. “You’re usually not the one to ask me for help”
“Right well, you know the drill” Dale frowns removing his bucket hat and squeezing it out of nervous habit. “This isn’t gonna go well”
“If it’s anything like Daryl and Shane fighting over a little dispute about hunting grounds, I think I can handle—-“
“Lori’s husband came back with the Atlanta group, but they left Merle behind hand cuffed to roof” Dale stated without hesitating or letting Y/N process as she drops everything to go check on Lori for another personal matter that almost everybody knows about before thinking of the words to tell Daryl when he returns from his hunting trip.
When Y/N made herself known to the man that left the eldest Dixon behind as she felt a sense of warmth with the family reunion. But she knew that was going to be cut extremely short if Daryl gets his hands on him.
“You’re the Rick guy?”
“You must be Y/N, the resident Dixon whi—-“
“If you call me that stupid fucking shit that Shane came up with, I will hit you in front of your son” Y/N frowns watching Rick zip his lips to let her get to it. “What’s your plan here?”
“I don’t think I get what you mean” Rick laughs slightly only to immediately stop when it wasn’t getting anywhere with Y/N. “Are you talking about getting Merle back? I think we can do a bit of justice without the racist son of a bitch”
“Oh believe me, I agree wholeheartedly with that. But he’s not your family. I think you can agree that if it were you that got left behind, that you would want someone to come and find you” Y/N watches his expression fall making her cross her arms and stand her ground. “Right. You understand that completely and no one came to bring you back”
“Now that’s uncalled for, Y/N” Shane interrupts only for Y/N to take her leave on that note, picking up her axe from beside the put out fire pit.
“Sit with it, Shane. Call me when you have a plan, I have to try and keep his ass from being killed by the man who’s brother you left on that roof” as Y/N leaves the group to follow a familiar hunting ground to find the archer, Rick was left thinking about what she said.
No one came back for him.
The next day came around and the woods were quiet until they weren’t…
“Stupid fucking shit” Daryl curses under his breath over another deer being eaten by another walker.
As he knelt down to get a look at the damage to see if he could take any of the meat back, he heard a shift in the woods. The archer quickly rose to his feet aiming his crossbow and when the figure didn’t make themselves known, he fired.
Daryl instantly tensed when Y/N made herself known with an annoyed expression at him and the arrow in the tree beside her head.
“The fuck is wrong with you?!”
“I should be askin’ yea the same thing!” Daryl scoffs taking the arrow from her hand once she pulled it out. “I could’ve killed yea”
“Yeah well you’d do me a favor” The one thing he hated about her was her joking about death. “You gotta head back”
“Yeah?” Daryl scoffs putting his arrow away. “Ran out of food?”
“No, I’ve given them my squirrels to make a stew out of. But this is more of a matter regarding your idiotic brother”
Why did you give them the food I caught for—-“Wait. Merle? Is he back?”
“Daryl no he—-“ Daryl brushes past Y/N causing her to quickly deflate and follow him back to the campsite.
“Swear, yea think I don’t know they get yeah to talk to me about my idiot brother”
“I mean would you rather have Shane talk to you about Merle? Now Daryl come on. I gotta tell yea—-“ Y/N stops herself when he rose his hand indicating he heard something.
Daryl gave her a quick sign that it was another deer and then Y/N decided to take a second to put the Merle conversation on the back burner.
“They never make it this far up the mountain” Dale frowns staring at the walker that Jim had finished off once the group addressed the children’s screaming.
“They are running out of food in the city” Jim states stepping away from the carcass and the undead beside it.
Before any of them thought of walking back, that’s when the bushes started to rustle some more. Shane instantly readied his shotgun aiming toward the sound until he lowered it along with the others doing the same with their weapons of choice when their resident hunter popped out with the “Dixon whisperer” following behind him.
“Son of a bitch” Daryl scoffs bringing himself over to the deer. “That’s my deer…look at it. All gnawed on by this—“ he quickly kicked the walker out of anger. “Filthy, disease-bearing, motherless proxy bastard!”
“Daryl, come on” Y/N elbowed him when she brought herself close, giving Rick a certain look to watch his words.
“Think we can—-“
“Don’t even finish that sentence, Dar. It’s not safe” She pushes him carefully away from the tainted meat as Shane couldn’t agree more but when his voice spoke up, both gave him an annoyed look.
Then it was time.
“Merle!” Daryl calls out brushing passed everyone as both Shane and Rick gave Y/N a confused look.
“What?! You think I can instantly get through to the guy? It’s a conversation not a “oh by the way” type shit like you pigs are used to” Y/N scoffs shoving Shane to catch up to Daryl.
“MERLE! GET YOUR UGLY ASS OUT HERE” Daryl shouts once more, surprised slightly that his idiot brother didn’t instantly come. “I got us some squirrel! Gotta help Y/N skin’em for the stew!”
“Daryl, hold up. I need to talk to you” Shane caught up pushing Y/N aside as that lead her to give Lori a glare on the matter given she knows her hatred for the man. Not that she fully expresses it given what she’s walked on in the woods.
Daryl slowed his movement turning around to the pig watching him hesitate before getting to it.
“There’s been an incident in Atlanta…about Merle”
The tension grew in the space making the archer give his only close friend there a blank expression that she wasn’t giving him any answer from hers.
“He dead?”
“We’re not sure” And that caused the emotions to rise.
“He either is or he ain’t!” Daryl rose his voice watching the unfamiliar man bring himself over.
“No easy way to say this so I’ll just say it—-“
“Who are you?”
“Rick Grimes—-“
“Rick Grimes” Daryl mocks watching Y/N get closer to the situation. “You’ve got something you want to tell me?”
“Your brother was a danger to us all” Okay… “So I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He’s still there” Rick states watching Daryl’s rage grow on his face as he takes a step back scoffing slightly with a hint of a chuckle.
“Hold on, let me process this—-“ Daryl laughs with the venom in his tone of voice. “You saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof and YOU LEFT HIM THERE?!”
The silent “yeah” that came out of Rick made Y/N wince ahead of time for what was about to happen next. Even if Daryl didn’t land a punch on either ex-cops. It wasn’t until Shane started to get Daryl into a chokehold that she brought herself over clawing at him to let go.
“Nah he’s gotta calm down before I—-“ And without another thought, Y/N punched Shane square in the jaw to let go of Daryl. She quickly caught his knife under her foot to swipe it away from him trying to get a shot on the new comer. “You crazy son of a bitch!” He barked at her as Y/N quickly stood in front of Daryl blocking him from either of the two.
“Chokeholds illegal asshole” Y/N barked back getting up in his face to have him stand back and away from Dixon. “Seriously. You fucking morons”
“You clearly didn’t prepare—-“
“Oh and you fucking did?” Y/N scoffs at Rick bringing herself to Daryl. “You need to let me fucking tell you next time so this wouldn’t happen. Can’t have them being fucking entitled dicks to the only motherfucker that understands me! Jesus.”
The tension only grew within the group as Daryl couldn’t calm the pounding in his chest when she said such.
“He listens. Rick’s gonna go and get him” Lori was quick to add crossing her arms as she wasn’t exactly happy about the situation. “He’ll listen to about anybody but his wife.”
Daryl waited for the group to disperse before bringing himself over to Y/N, taking her by the arm and dragging her slightly to his tent.
“You’re hurting me—-“ Y/N frowns as Daryl lets go quickly giving her a stern look before taking her hand into his to check the bruising from punching Shane. “It’s nothing.”
“Okay—-Sure” Daryl scoffs. “Yea ain’t coming”
“Seriously? How the fuck—-“
“YOU JUST AINT” He snaps a bit too close to her face resulting in a flinch coming from her as Y/N puffed up. “I don’t trust that Grimes guy and I ain’t letting yea near him after the fucking stunt he pulled with Merle”
“I can handle myself, Daryl.”
“Yeah. No shit. But you don’t have’ta” Daryl frowns feeling her presence grow closer to his person as he towered her slightly. “You didn’t have to stand up for me”
“Little too late for that. I just…wanted yea to know what happened from someone who gives a damn.” Y/N took a step back keeping her attention on him as the look in his expression seemed to want more and that drew the pounding in her chest to get louder. “Well find Merle, and whether you like it or not. I’m coming with”
I can’t lose you. Daryl frowns followed by a nod deciding not to argue further with the woman.
But nothing went their way since returning back to Atlanta, even when returning back to the quarry empty handed…
After taking out the herd that swept through the quarry camp, Daryl didn’t hesitate to shove T-Dog out of the way of getting to Y/N. She strayed from the group when returning to take out a few walkers by Carol and her daughter, he didn’t see her until the dust settled and wasn’t about to lose his mind all over again.
“You bit?!”
“No! Are you?” Y/N went to check his person as Daryl tugged her aside from everyone else back to their secluded corner. “Daryl please just answer—-“ she was instantly cut off by his lips smashing into hers, making her drop her axe to bring her hands onto either side of his face. In her mind the timing could’ve been better but neither of them was going to interrupt the moment. “Dar—-“ she breathed when their lips parted a moment.
“Ain’t bit.” He quickly responds with while returning his lips to hers as he drops his crossbow to his side bringing his hands to her hips gripping them.
Y/N tugged back a bit receiving a concerned look from Daryl until she brought her hands to his belt and he got the idea. He helped her get the belt off that led her to work at the buttons while he slipped her shirt off quickly bringing his hands back to her hips tugging her jeans down steadying her to finish removing them. Daryl brought his lips to hers once more before moving to her cheek down to her neck and then her collarbone working his way down while helping her descend along with him.
“Can’t—-“ He exhaled suddenly making Y/N stop her actions until he pressed his forehead against hers. “Can’t lose yea” he sighs feeling her arms snake around his neck while he positioned himself in between her legs towering her on the dirt.
“I’m right here, Dixon” She returned her lips quickly to his as he feverishly kissed her while bringing his hands below the belt to remove her panties along with pushing his pants and boxers further for his cock to spring out.
While Y/N found purchase on the back of his shirt, Daryl started to push his length in inch by inch listening to her gasps as she dug her nails into the fabric bringing her legs around his lower back. He didn’t move right away and waited for her to adjust once he was fully sheathed.
“Y/N—-“
“Please” Her voice shook with anticipation wanting him to move but there was more to it as she brushes her face against his feeling his lips graze her features. “Please tell me it ain’t just me”
“It ain’t just you, sunshine” He exhales, starting to move thrusting inside of her warmth listening to her quiet sounds wishing he could drive them out but didn’t want anyone to interrupt them.
As he picked up the pace, Daryl felt her tighten around him drawing a low growl to escape his lips feeling her bring themselves to his shoulder and bite down when she felt the cord begin to snap.
“Let go for me, sunshine” Daryl begged bringing his lips back onto hers listening to her hum while bucking her hips against his as he moans into her mouth at the feeling of her unraveling. “Fuck—“ he pulls out quickly before he could climax inside of her.
The archer carefully lays on top of her feeling her death grip on his shirt weaken and flatten her hands against his torso. Slowly bringing one of her hands to run through his hair as they both panted softly remaining in the other’s embrace.
“Y/N…”
“Hm?”
“I can’t lose yea” Daryl frowns feeling her tighten around him for reassurance.
“You’re stuck with me, Daryl” She laughs softly feeling him shift to rise above her to look at her as she couldn’t help the littlest head tilt wondering more of what’s going on in that mind of his. “What is it?”
“Guess this uh…explains a lot of what I’ve been feelin’ lately” He laughs slightly with her joining.
“Truly, and uhm. I hope this…isn’t the only time and—“
“You’re mine, sunshine. We’re something”
“We’re something” Y/N smiles catching a glimpse of his smile before he started to clean themselves up.
It took them long enough.
947 notes · View notes
yourplayersaidwhat · 3 months
Text
And thus, their campaign-long beef began.
(cleric got in a bar fight and was thrown out, and is now hiding from a massive wave of sea monsters)
Changeling monk who has issues acting human: As soon as cleric enters the bar again, I just loudly yell “HELLO!”
Cleric: OH I uh mh- I- 
DM: everybody in the bar turns to look at you, including the sailors who had just beaten you up, though they don’t seem to be interested in a fight.
(in a massive fight, monk is getting swarmed by specteres, gaths, and other beholder offsets) 
Monk: CLERIC, PLEASE, SANCTUARY!
Cleric: and I just pretend not to hear.
Monk, ooc, continuously throughout the fight: BOY HOWDY THIS WOULD SURE GO EASIER IF I HAD SANCTUARY
Cleric, ooc: THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR GIVING ME ANXIETY!
Rogue, ooc: well, since cleric is being a little bitch and not healing anybody-
Cleric, ooc: oh no no, I’m still healing and helping everyone. Just. Everyone but monk.
Monk: I hide near cleric to avoid getting hit by more eye beams from the gath.
DM: Check passed, the gath no longer sees you-
Cleric: Wait! 
Cleric: I look them dead in the eyes, get up, and in my best impression of their voice, yell “HELLO!”
429 notes · View notes
wonysugar · 11 months
Text
skilled | kim minjeong
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
synopsis : you always, always did her homework. what changed today?
pairing : bully!winter x nerd!femreader
genre : smut, nothing else, they just fuck very roughly, the end
tags : exhibitionism, they’re seniors, they also fuck in the lockers, before p.e, so they end up skipping oops, lots of manhandling, heavy degradation, fingering, nipple play, cunnilingus
warnings : !!read these before reading!! heavy blackmail, dubcon, recording, minjeong uses the word ‘lesbian’ as an insult, so homophobia? implied studentxteacher relationships
word count : 1.9k
a/n : disclaimer, all of this is fiction and is written for entertainment purposes!! i do not romanticize any of this. if anything similar is happening to you please please PLEASE speak up about it and also DON’T DO THIS TO ANYONE?? PLEASE?? THIS IS HORRIBLE
but on another note, happy belated birthday present @wintersera!! i meant to post this yesterday but uhm! writer’s block was on my ass. anyways i sincerely hope you enjoy it!
also this is not proofread uhm. SORRY,,
Tumblr media
“where’s my homework?”
you looked away from minjeong, stupidly blinking at the numerous lockers behind her, trying to distract yourself from the fact that you were probably going to die today. to which, she groaned, annoyed.
her smooth hand grabbed your jaw in a swift motion and made you look at her properly, “i don’t have all fucking day y/n, it’s due next period. so, where is it?”
you felt your breathing get heavier by the second, your palms getting sweatier, your mouth suddenly producing more saliva, you knew how bad she got when things didn’t go her way, being a menace to everybody in school definitely got to her head. her poisonous stare piercing right through you as her grip on your jaw got tighter, you gathered up the courage to speak.
“i-i.. i don’t have it.”
..a scoff escapes her mouth, you always had the homework done and ready for her, what suddenly changed today?
“what do you mean you don’t have it? i told you to bring it today, didn’t i?” she responds, a mocking pout plastered on her face as you slightly shook under her touch.
“i didn’t do it, minjeong.” you confessed almost immediately. her eyes widened slightly as her eyebrows were upturned with condescension, surprised by your sudden boldness as she let go of you.
“it’s fine i’ll just- i’ll do it and give it to you after class. it’s about to be pe anyways—“ you added, stuttering and quickly closing your locker, convinced and hopeful that you could take the opportunity to walk away from the whole situation and get to the gym before she could do anything else.
boy, were you wrong.
in what felt like an incredibly short amount of seconds, she violently grabbed your collar and pinned you to the locker with full force, earning a yelp from you.
“who said i was done with you, bitch?” she leaned into you, staring at your visage like you were nothing but mere garbage to her, like laying her precious eyes on you was a chore. she giggled upon seeing your worried expression,
“i think you’re forgetting something, sweetheart. do i need to remind you that this whole arrangement started because i saw you, i watched you getting fingered by our teacher. i mean fuck, i always knew you were a weird desperate fucking lesbian, but our teacher?”
you clenched your jaw,
“i’m not a lesbian.” you snapped, to which she immediately started laughing.
“oh but you seem to be enjoying yourself soo much in that little video i recorded, don’t you think? how she was gripping your hair, how your eyes rolled back like a slut while she pumped her fingers in and out of you. be honest, you were loving it, y/n.” she hummed, then carried on,
“but then again, i might be totally blowing this out of proportion, so i could always show others and ask what they think–“
“goddamnit minjeong pleasepleaseplease don’t do that i’ll do anything i’m serious just– please.” you pleaded, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes now, like they always do when she’s pulling shit like this. if anyone were to find out that you gave your virginity up to your teacher for some grade, you’d be the talk of the entire school.
there you were, the y/n she knew and loved, the y/n who looked like a prey being hunted by its predator, the y/n who would sob so abundantly when she’d hurt you that it almost made her feel bad about it. the y/n that she got off on seeing.
thoroughly enjoying the sight of you shaking like a lost puppy under her, “so, why isn’t the homework done, baby?” she asked you in a mocking concerned voice, wearing a pout, being fully aware and amused by the fact that calling you by that cute and innocent pet name would make you quiver in even more fear.
she usually called you nicknames whenever she was planning to do something really bad.
upon seeing you avoid her gaze in shame, she gripped you tightly and pressed you harder into the locker. she was growing impatient, you knew it.
“i d-didn’t want to do it.” was the only thing you somehow managed to let out.
she stared at you some more, a smirk slowly cracking into place, progressively turning into a full-blown laugh as her grip on your collar loosened, before she let go of it completely once again. it took her a while to compose herself again, because it was just genuinely that hilarious to her.
“take off your clothes.”
what.
“w-what?” you immediately tensed up. thoughts filled with the possibilities of what she could do to you, your mind wandering in the dirtiest of places. you didn’t want to acknowledge it, but you felt insanely, extremely, very weirdly attracted to her.
“god, are you braindead or something? just shut the fuck up and take off your clothes, it’s not that hard. you’re better at being a fuckdoll than doing homework, anyway.” she groaned, snapping you back into reality.
“minjeong, the bell is about to rin-“
before you could even think about finishing your sentence, you felt a pair of lips roughly pressing against yours. letting out a surprised whimper, minjeong forcefully inserted her tongue into your mouth as she took it upon herself to get you out of your clothing, gliding her hands under the graphic tee you wore for your class, reaching for your tits and groping one of them before taking it off.
you quickly pulled away from the kiss, barely processing that it even happened in the first place. you suddenly remembered where you were at that moment, then proceeded to push her hands away.
“fuck - mmh - n-not here?? anybody could walk in and- and-“ you stuttered, completely ignoring the question reoccurring in your mind; why the fuck is she even wanting to do you in the first place?
obviously, as to be expected, she didn’t let you finish. instead, she just settled on grabbing both of your shoulders and turned you around, once again pushing you on the locker so your back would be facing her. you immediately felt your throbbing headache come back from the impact there was something else that was also throbbing, you just didn’t want to think about it.
you were getting ready to say something as you felt her stick her hand into your gym shorts, but she quickly used her other hand to shove two fingers inside your mouth.
“you’re way prettier when you stop talking.” she chuckled, whispering into your ear as she rubbed your embarrassingly wet cunt through the fabric of your underwear, making you whine against her fingers as you’re trying your hardest to be quiet and sucking on them to do so.
“my god baby you’re so wet for me.. and here i was, harassing you everyday, trying to annoy the shit out of you.. turns out you get off from this shit, hm? you probably play with your clit thinking about how mean i am to you all the time.” she sneered, “fucking lesbian.”
how the fuck did she expect you to stay quiet in this situation? the door was very much open, literally anyone could walk in at any moment, you were skipping class whether you liked it or not, and the way she was talking to you was not making it any better for you.
it’s not even like you could cover it up if someone did come in, due to the fact that you were, you know, slightly bent over in front of minjeong, her hands now inside of your shorts and on your clothed boobs as she manipulated your body to her liking.
it didn’t take long before her hands dug under your panties, sliding her middle and ring finger across your slit, feeling your slick immediately coat her digits. once again using her other hand to unhook your bra. your breathing hitched upon feeling her immediately grab ahold of your tit.
minjeong was quick to play with the bud, harshly twisting and pulling while attentively looking at your every move; her piercing gaze on you, observing and watching how your expression twists in one of euphoric pain, a wince whenever she dug her nails into your skin, mixed with a whine as she finally ended up inserting two digits inside you, slowly and gently curling them.
it was a sight to see.
“does my stupid little whore like that?” she asked you, taking in all of your reactions, one by one.
“f-fuck you.” was all you could let out in response, because while she was doing her thing, probably amused seeing you this powerless. you, on the other hand, were paranoid, throwing occasional glances at the door to make sure no one was near.
she chuckled when you threw your head back onto her shoulder, relieved from both nobody being near and the knot that was progressively tying in your stomach. you were getting close, she could feel it from the way your walls clenched around her, or the way your breathing got heavier and profanities started coming out of your mouth as you gripped her skirt tight. it was a myriad of things, really.
and that’s exactly why she completely stopped.
she knew it’d frustrate you to not finish, so she just completely ceased what she was doing. smirking while taking her fingers out of you and letting go of your chest.
“what the fuck??” is what you were gonna say if she wouldn’t have shoved the fingers she used to fuck you into your mouth, fake pout as she watched you. you made sure to glare at her before sucking on them thoroughly, also making sure that you licked them all clean.
“see how good you taste, baby?” she chuckled, taking her fingers out.
“i was close to finishing i was- i was about to cum.” you coldly told her.
she raised a mocking eyebrow, “first you don’t do my homework, now you wanna talk back? and here i was, trying to cut you some slack, fulfilling your weird disgusting fantasies and this how you thank me?”
she kicked on your leg, pushing you down to your knees and raised up her skirt to reveal her black lacy underwear, all in one swift motion.
she let out a theatrical sigh, “you know, you got me really worked up. so here’s what’s gonna happen,” she grabs your hair violently, making you look up at her. she laughed at the scene, at how ridiculous you looked, then continued.
“you’re gonna eat me out until i’m satisfied, got it? you wouldn’t want me to spread that video now, would you, y/n?” she tilted her head slightly, and.. here goes that fake motherfucking pout. oh how you hated seeing her treat you like an inferior.
is what you so desperately wish you could say.
but no, you actually obeyed. you proved her point, you showed her how obedient you can be, and ate her out like it was your last meal on earth.
her quiet moans, her grip on your hair, the grinding of her wet pussy onto your face, the way she was holding her phone and recording you, saying things like “you’re pretty - shit - skilled for someone who supposedly doesn’t like girls.” and “i know you’ve been wanting this, doll. it’s written all over your dumb fucking face when you glare at me.” while stroking your hair, before pulling on it right afterwards.
it was so dehumanizing, and for all you knew, she could use that as new material to blackmail you with next time, but you still did it. it was an indescribable feeling in the pit of your stomach.
you took a mental note that day,
and reminded yourself to never do her homework again.
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
k3n-dyll · 6 months
Note
maybe because not everyone has to cater to black and brown readers? if i feel excluded then talk to ur black and brown writers bc why tf would (for ex.) white writers write black readers when…when they aren’t?? yall aren’t victims write ur own shit if u care so much like idk what to tell u but not everyone has to bow down and write the way you want them too.
The fact that this is what you got from me saying that POC feel excluded from fandom is...insane.
I hesitate to even answer this because you sound stupid as hell, but since I think other people need to get this shit through their skulls as well:
If you are a writer, and you claim to be writing an "x reader" fanfic for a character you like, the general consensus is that "reader" in this situation should be neutral for the most part. Sure, there's different versions of that ( "x fem reader", "x masc reader", etc.") , but generally, the idea is that "reader" in this situation could be anyone, yes? A lot of writers on this app and others, write "reader" as if tiny white women are the default.
And you know what?
If you wanna write that way, fine, but say that. If you so desprately want to write about Abby Anderson fucking a 5ft nothing white girl with blonde hair and green eyes - write that. But don't call that shit an "x reader" when you know its a self insert meant to exclude everybody that doesnt look like you. Dont claim to be a safe place for all readers if when POC say they feel excluded from the things you write, you say stupid shit like what this anon just did. If your shit is labeled "x reader" with no other warnings, one should be able to assume that they arent going to see any specifics about body type, hair textures, skin color or eye color - but no. Thats not the case.
I swear, every time we bring this shit up you bitches act like we killed your fucking grandma. If you dont wanna write in a way that everyone can consume, fine, but dont make it seem as if petite white girls are just the default human in every scenario. Theres a content warning over every fic, if you dont want to see how problematic it is to write as if whiteness is the default then the least you could do it leave a big fat warning in that little "CW" section to let us know that you didnt write this with the existence of people that dont look like you in mind.
Oh, and I do write my own stuff btw. Don't ever come in my inbox with this bullshit again. Pissing me off first thing in the morning😒
574 notes · View notes