#ohh whats the wife ship name

[spotted-peat]

*and [our] boyfriend, Senshi!

I am literally obsessed with the three of them i'm dying. i need them in situations

this is refrencing a bit from parts and rec - "this is my boyfriend, Derek, and this is Derek's boyfriend, Ben" (extras + suggestive under cut)

behind the scenes

hand on ass propagands (propahanda?) + they were kissing sorry. there is no such thing as transfer-proof lipstick in my world

so in summary AAAHHH!!!!!!AUAUHHAHHGHGH

[maraczeks]

bcs s6 thread pt 6

[animealways]

Surprise, i'm married bitch!

Natasha x fem!stark!reader/ contains making out, semi-public sex, strap on, marking, spanking, daddy kink, paparazzi (you set the internet on blaze by not only revealing you're married but to none other then black widow herself.)

Y/n stark potential suitor

A new stark family member?

Shadowcap is real?

All titles of gossip blogs articles about your love life. You couldn't help but chuckle at the last one. Its your and steve superhero ship name.

Captain america + iron shadow

"Oh this is some top noch comedy" you said to yourself. "What is 'top noch comedy'?" You lifted your phone showing the shadowcap article to nat and how it mentioned all the times you went shopping with steve to find the perfect decorations for the wedding and more. She shook her head at the article with a amused smile. "What people won't do just for some clicks. What are you doing?"

She raised a eyebrow at your smile. Natasha has learned thanks to you there are more then one way to smile and that includes mischievous smile. One you're wearing right now. "Ohhh nothing just giving them some light criticism."

Ohh sooooo~ close 🙃

You got the wrong avenger tho-

you commented and nat rolled her eyes at you. You always loved messing with the media. They always were a pain in the ass for as long as you can remember. Not surprising since your father is tony stark after all. He is often in the news either because of drama he causes or because of a new invention and that was BEFORE he became iron man. Oh yeah your step-mom is pepper the fucking co-ceo of the biggest company on earth that you run together. Literally anything happens that even semi involves your family aaaaand your face ends up on the fucking news.

The sec you post the comment you see fans going 'omg what!!!????' 'Nooooo my ship😭' 'dcvsxvjgxvbcf7gkg' 'wowowowow WHAT WHO IS IT THEN?!?!"

You laughed at the way your fans freaked out. "You know you should probably let everyone know were a thing." You looked up at your wife having your head against her thigh.

"Anything particulaire in mind?" "No you're better at that sort of thing, remember your last interview?"

You chuckled remembering jimmy fallon face when you told him about a particulier snowboarding vacation with your dad. When neither you or your dad realise the hill you were on was actually the end of a small cliff causing both of you to fall into a thick layer of snow. The only reason you didn't tell this to pepper was because your dad bought you a massive chocolate cake to shut you up. Oh man was she angryyyyy when she found out.

"I will never forget that scolding." You laughed while natasha shook her head but didn't bother hiding her smile. That damn near divine smile.

"Btw there is this gala i got invited to." You mentioned randomly remembering.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You put the finale touch to your eyelashes and felt ready to go. You wore a velvet red button up collar shirt with 3 upper buttons lose to show off your chest with the nanotech container on it. The rest of your suit was black and nothing of it really stood out exactly what you wanted.

It would bring more attention not only to the nanotech container on your chest but also your jewelry. Specificly the necklace with your wedding ring around it. For the longest time you and natasha would hide your relationship but now that you're married her both of you wanted let the world know who the 2 of you belonged to.

You put the edith sunglasses on before looking to your left admiring natasha beauty. You recognised the dress she wore, the same one she wore as 'natalie rushman'.

You walked behind her, hugging her from behind and putting your chin on her shoulder.

"Well if this doesn't remind you of something?" Natasha smirked remembers the first time she met you. "Yeah, i remember how you couldn't take your eyes off of me." She teased, you merrily shrugged. "What can i say? I have good taste. Common, lets go." She took her you hand once done with make-up.

You drove to the gala with happy in a another car behind you for safety measures. It didn't matter both of you we're avengers. You knew better then go to such a big event without any back up. Too many goddamn memories of parties going wrong.

As you arrived to the event. You ran around the car opening the door and unbuckled the seat belt for natasha. She took your arm and walked out together with your bodyguards right behind the 2 of you.

Paparazzi were, well they were annoying as always. They're shouting for you to either turn their way or about your life. You swear on your mother's grave the paparazzi brought a bonus level of anger out of you. Maybe its the belief your mother taught you that respect should be earn, not given. Maybe its that you had to deal with them your entire life or maybe its because they're basicly paid stalkers that made your blood boil either way to you a street fighter deseveres more respect then the paparazzi, atleast that took more then just being a invasive asshole to do it right.

But atleast you had natasha to keep you company. ''You know...'' you turned your attention to the red head trying you best to hear her over all the shouting. ''I have seen childeren that are quieter then them.'' you chuckled at the commentary.

''You think this is bad? You should be glad you didn't have to deal with them in the early 2000's they were 500 times worse.''

''You can't be serious.''

''I am. 1 of them actually got so close to me they pushed me and caused me to fall face first into the pavement.''

''Really, wow i can't imagine tony reaction.''

You smiled remembering how happy carried you to the car while your dad cussed everyone out. ''Ahhh yeah, good memories. I remember my dad calling them 'motherfucking disrespectful uncultered dipshits'.'' natasha laughed at the mental image.

''Hey, atleast he taught me how to protect the important things in life. Isn't that right misses stark?'' You looked lovingly at your wife.

Your wife

Misses stark

Man, you can't get enough off of those words. Natasha didn't say anything but the look she gave you said more then enough. Its funny really, this is the same woman that use to have a probleem with you hugging her once a day but now she had her last name changed for you. You took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

right under the wedding ring

As soon as you realised what you just did you immediately covered your wifes ears. Good thing too cause less then a second later you physically cringed at the shouting from the crowd.

how long have you been married!?

did you take each others last name?!

stark/black widow are offically off the marked!?

That last one caused both you and tash to glare at the crowd. Sure your relationship was a massive secret for the longest time but who would want to inmagine their partner getting flirted with?

''Lets go inside before we getting hearing damage or start a fight.''

''You took the words right out of my mouth.''

You followed natasha as the noise died down. Luckily for the both of you the night went fairly well. You went around and introduce natasha as your wife. People we're naturally curious about your relationship how long you have been together, who asked who, who proposed normale things you gladly answer. Then were the questions that would make your eyes tired from barrel rolling so much.

''So who is the man in the relationship?''

''Dude, thats like asking wich chop stick is the fork.''

Natasha giggled at the surprisingly accurate comparison. The other people at the table also had a good chuckled out of it. ''Ahh, s-sorry didn't mean to come over insensitive. I just don't know alot about these things.''

''Its fine but call me or my wife a dyke and i will start a fight.'' you joked causing the man to let out a nervous chuckle knowing you're capable of it and would gladly do it. After all its not every day you meet a woman that kicked a grown ass man at 18 years old but you did after the pap tried to take a pic under your skirt. You swear that the news didn't let go of it for a month long.

while natasha drank her vodka you stood right behind her pressing your crotch. She pressed back feeling the bulge in your pants while smirking.

''ты хочешь трахаться в ванной, детка?''

''you want to fuck in the bathroom baby?''

You whisperd softly in her ear while having tight grip on her hips. You had learned russian in the periode where the avengers broke.

Fuck are you happy she's back in your arms

''let me enjoy my drink first''

You smirked at her responds. You knew the alcohol would make her a shameless, horny mess. You didn't miss the way people looked at your wife though. You couldn't blame them natasha beauty was something to die for but there was no way you were walking out of this place without making clear who belonged to who. She continued to have more drinks as you whispered nothing but sweet compliments and in return she kissed you teasing about the people who must be watching the 2 of you being in love.

''good, the more people watch faster the news travels.''

Tash turned around wrapping her arms around your neck and kissed you. You hummed being able to taste all the different drinks she had from vodka to tequila. You pulled away and dragged her to the nearest bathroom. The second the door was closed she practically pounced you. Your hands immediately went to her ass giving it a tight squeeze. Her legs wrapped around you hips and started to grind against the bulge. You put her on the sink and pushed her dress up revealing the black lingerie with a wet spot in the middle.

You rubbed her tight, not quite touching her where she needs it.

''y/n i ne-''

You cut her by slapping her pussy making her jump and grabbed her by the throat. ''whats my name?'' You growled into ear. She pushed her breast forward close enough for them you the feel them against your own.

''i'm sorry daddy''

''better, now show me how much of a slut you are''

You put the palm of your hand against her pussy and she immediately started to grind against it. Your free hand went to her cheek forcing her to look into your eyes.

fuck those gorgeous green eyes

You kissed her softly, something natasha always loved is how gentle your touch was her even in moments like these she could feel the love behind the action. She whined against your lips making you smirk. 'awww baby do you need something?' You put you thumb against her lips . 'daddy please fuck me~' She whined her hands going under you shirt looking for skin to skin to contact. 'you want my cock, baby? you want daddy cock inside of you?' You used your index finger to pull on the thin fabric then let it go making it snap against her.

''hmm, please daddy claim me. i want you to mark me.''

''then get on your knees.''

She did as you demanded getting and loosened the belt pulling your pants down revealing the red strap. Natasha wasn't full on drunk, was she getting there? Oh for sure but not to the point she couldn't notice it was the strapon wanda magicly enhanced so you could feel everything like it was a real cock. She started to kiss the tip while holding eye contact with you.

this woman is gonna be the death of you and you couldn't care less

You sighed out of relieve at the feeling. As she slowly took the fake cock into her mouth you gentle went with your hands thru her hair the smile on your face never leaving love the sight and feeling knowing. ''who is daddy good little slu- ahhh you are baby FUCK!''

You used one hand to hold the sink while the other was still natasha soft red hair. You could feel her take the entire length, humming to please you as much as possible and her tongue moving around. You let this happen for abit enjoying how skillfull you wife mouth is before pulling her of. You panted while looking her messy face lipstick ruined by all the drool. You pulled her her up to and kissed her quick but passionate kiss.

''bend over for me and beg maybe then i let you cum over my cock''

She did as you said making sure her ass was on full display for you and wiggled it abit. You pulled the lingerie off of her and put them in you pocket. ''don't hold back on the noises. i want everyone near us to hear how much of a whore you are, understood?'' ''yes daddy''

You hummed before the upper half of you body was covered in nanotech and you didn't miss the way natasha started to move her ass more when she saw it reflected back in the mirror. 'keep looking in the mirror i want you to see everything' As soon the words left you mouth you started to spank her with the back of your hand now covered in metal hand. She yelped with every hit and you didn't stop until her ass was bright red. You didn't bother with giving her a warning just slamming your cock into her since she was dripping so much. Natasha screamed and you penetrated her at a animalistic pace. You threw you head back at the warm tight feeling of pussy and her moans sound divine. If she let you, you would do this for the entire night.

You grabbed her by the throat pulling her close enough for you to mark her entire back of her neck with hickey. Out of no where you stop your movement making natasha whine for more. You groaned feeling her squeez around.

''please daddy i need you! i'm a good girl please just let me cum over your perfect cock!'' She kept begging while you looked at her like she was a piece of meat for you to devour. You eventually flipped her over and started all over again. You made sure to cover her neck and breast with hickey while she clung on you. 'ahh daddy you're making me cum' she shouted and you were sure anyone in the same hall as the bathroom could hear her. You pulled her closer so your foreheads were touching each other while you used your right hand to keep her close you left hand went to her clit. Your left hand turned into a clit sucking vibrator sending natasha over the egde. You made sure to prolong her pleasure for as long as possible.

As soon as your left hand was off of her she grabbed it and sucked it. The pretty sight made you groan and natasha smirked. She let go of you hand with a pop sound while you gentle pulled out her of making her moan and leaving her pussy cleching around nothing. You pulled your pants back up covering the fake cock before natasha grabbed it.

''you haven't cummed yet'' A devilish smile made its way onto your face. ''oh im not done with you yet baby'' Natasha bite her bottoms lips in anticipation. Then the door opened , you first instinct is to cover up tash with your body as somone ran past straight to the toilet.

''i'm sorry i couldn't hold it. i swear i didn't see anything!''

You rolled your eyes as nat hide her blushing face in you neck. You made sure to clean her up fast and the nanotech went back into the container. She however didn't move from the sink. 'i-i cant walk...' You laughed at how shy she sounded in return she glared and pouted at you. 'don't laugh at me'

''sorry sorry babe you just look so cute'' You giggled before carring bride style. You walked out and people were staring at you and tash after all none of them ever seen black widow this... soft. As soon as happy saw it he rolled his eyes and told the other bodyguards they could take the rest of the night off knowing you murder them if they ever interrupted your kinky time with nat. ''please just make sure your naked ass doesn't end up on the news like your dad did.'' Happy said and you laughed at how your dad ended up drunk butt naked on the roof top after a wild party.

''don't worry about it i wouldn't let a media shit head near my wife''

You walked out to your car as people were shouting for your attention. Natasha had her head nuzzled into your neck making you smile. You gentle put her in the passenger seat and you drove off to a calm and quite place in the woods.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

maybe i will write a part 2?

[childotkw]

Um, not sure if you've been asked this before (I could've sworn that at one point you had, but i can't for the life of me find the post) but do you have any thoughts about genderbent Regulus Black?

I can see there being a much more different sibling dynamic between them and Sirius as there isn't an heir and backup dynamic with Walburga and Orion no doubt seeing Regulus as a tool to be married off. Not to mention they'd be much more strict with Sirius without a backup heir to replace him.

Not to mention it would be interesting if Tom saw Regulus as a chance to better win the loyalty of the pureblood community, after all having a bride from one of the most prestigious pureblood families would raise his standing by a lot.

I absolutely love your female Harry AU's especially "I pray(death parts us)" and "Serpent In These Still Waters ", and I love the marriage dynamic between Tom and Harry.

However I do wonder about the arranged marriage dynamic that Tom could have. Especially with someone who was born into the world of pureblood politics.

No pressure obviously to answer if you're not interested, but yea I was just wondering.

Ohh yes I know the one you're talking about! I ended up with Rana Black being the fem!Regulus name - you can read the original outline here.

I do have many thoughts about it - mainly how Ran would have grown up shaped by society's expectations and how she would eventually grow to cast those expectations off.

In my idea, Rana manages to convince Orion to ship her off to Beauxbatons. Orion, because his daughter is his favourite child, agrees to do this one thing for her, despite any objections from his wife. Rana actually eventually moves permanently to France with Kreacher as her ""guardian"" (because let's be real, the wizarding world has a pretty broken view on how young children should be raised and this isn't that far out of the norm for them). So Rana misses a large portion of the bullshit that is brewing in Britain.

But...

Walburga sees, Walburga knows. In the brief instances she actually interacts with her daughter (who seemed to grow up between blinks, who turned from a slim and silent shadow of a girl into a calm and confident young woman far from her mother's influence), Walburga learns.

Rana is not some demure wife-to-be. She is a...liberationist. A young woman with incorrect and damaging opinions on what her place in the world should be. Her time in France, in that school, has warped her understanding of her duty.

So, Walburga must fix this. As the new heir to the Black legacy, Rana has a responsibility to their House. She must bring in the next generation, and she must accept her place.

Walburga looks at Narcissa, at Bellatrix, and knows she must find her daughter a husband that can curb her radical views.

She also decides, rather firmly, that it's time her daughter learns deference. Learns to bow.

Orchestrating an encounter between her daughter and the Dark Lord is easy enough. Walburga is one of the few that still sees Tom Riddle in the face of Voldemort, and that tenuous childhood connection gives her enough leverage to push her daughter into the man's space with the implied permission to teach the girl how to drop her chin.

Only...that's not what happens.

Voldemort sees Rana's spark, sees her potential and her ideas and her biting cynicism towards the structures of their society; sees the way her eyes constantly drift towards the horizon, towards France, and finds himself a little curious at this until-now unknown Black.

(Voldemort is, after all, a radical himself. Why Walburga thought he would dismiss Rana's ideals or find her foolish is beyond him.)

Marriage isn't the first or fourth or even twentieth plot he envisions with Rana Black - but eventually it does creep into his purview.

And that intrigue, the future he could see forming with everything Rana Black brings with her, is enough for him to kick things into gear.

The biggest problem - the only problem, really - is that Rana Black does not want to marry.

Anyone.

Not even the Dark Lord.

[jackiequick]

7 times they were better parents to Tony than Howard was | Agent Carter Fanfic

~ In other words, Elizabeth Stark and Jason Underwood being an married couple for 5 minutes straight

Pairing: Jason Underwood & Elizabeth Stark

Character mentioned/included: Tony Stark, Howard Stark, Maria Stark, Edwin Jarvis & Ana Jarvis, Hank Pym, The Avengers & Young Avengers, Peggy Carter, Nick Fury, Alexander Pierce, Justin Hammer and etc

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe -> Agent Carter, Iron Man 1-3, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Avengers Age Of Ultron

Summary: Sometimes the best things in life happen when you least expect, such as becoming loving parental figures to a billionaire genius with a cheeky grin.

Note: Jason’s nickname is JJ and Elizabeth’s nickname is Liz

Ship Name: JALIZZY

Slight Warning: A bit of angst but mostly fluff

Click here for the latest fic featuring this family

Click here to see where our leading man fits in the Marvel Universe timeline

—————

Both were asleep in bed, when little 7 year old Tony walked into the bedroom and climbing into their bed.

Jason woke up first rubbing his eyes and sighed, "Bubba what you doing? We built you a new big boy bed last week.."

"Bad dream.." Said little Tony balling up his fist and getting under the covers, "..and Daddy is out."

"Oh right Momma visiting Aunt Peg for the week.."

"I'm sorry..c-can I stay?"

That moment Elizabeth woke up ruffling her nephew's bed head and yawned, "Sure, Bambino. But you wanna talk about the bad dream first?"

Tony looked down holding his teddy bear and mumbled, "I was in a dark and scary cave with a dragon..and I could not fight him, I was running but there no way to go.."

"Aww sweetie, look it's okay not every dream is gonna be a good one but you're okay. Everything is okay, you hear me?"

" I know..it's okay, b-but I was lost and scared..I did not save the princess..I fail.."

"Oh no sweetie, you didn't fail anyone. It was just a bad dream, there are no dragons here to hurt you."

"But the princess?"

"Maybe you will save her in the next dream."

Jason added with a tired smile, "Or maybe the princess already saved herself? Like auntie Lizzie or auntie Peg. And she's now waiting for you in the dream."

"Really?" Tony asked with a small smile.

"Yeah, sometimes it's the little prince that needs to go on journey to find the princess waiting for him in the end."

"Okay, I am ready to sleep now..and meet the princess."

"Out of curiosity, who was the princess?"

"Her name was Molly."

"Ohh nice name."

Elizabeth cut in with a chuckle, "Yeah very nice! Now we can please go to sleep and save the kingdom tonight in this dream?"

The boys nodded with a smile, cuddling up in bed with the lady of the house.

------

Elizabeth blowing raspberries on Tony's tummy as his giggles filled up the house with laughter. Jason was building up rocking chair in the living room and walked into the kitchen.

Jarvis was making lunch for them.

"Hey babe." He said with a smile, kissing her forehead then gave his nephew one on the cheek.

"Hi dear." She replied with a smile bouncing their nephew in her lap who giggled brightly.

It was a running gag but a sweet one calling each other pet names since the day they met. It went beyond, just them calling each other nicknames Jason called Jarvis's wife, Ana, honey and doll all the time as a term of endearment.

"JJ!" Tony yelled in glee with a toothy grin, as both adults looked their eyes at his silliness.

Something that would carry on once Tony is older is that silly toothy grin of his, no matter what the situation is. Especially his giggles.

Jarvis set the table for them, as Jason rushed over to help him and cutting Elizabeth's food into smaller sizes. Ana joined them soon enough watching all of this in curiosity. However, it confused the British man, once they all sat down to eat.

"Why does Jason need to cut your food, Miss Stark?" Jarvis asked them as he ate.

"Just watch, dear." Ana added, curious knowing she will get an answer.

With Tony's booster seat resting between them. Ana grabs a glass of wine and sits next to her husband. Looking at the kid who are begin to eat but what caught Jarvis's eye was Tony’s other hand gripping Elizabeth’s left hand in a tight grip.

"Aww how adorable." Ana said with a smile eating her chicken.

"It is indeed but what exactly is happening? I might need an explanation." Jarvis questioned with a smile.

"Tony had this new habit where he only can eat if he holds Elizabeth or Maria’s hand. It started a few days ago." Jason explained chuckling as he ate.

"I don't mind it. It keeps him relaxed and allows me to make sure he's doing alright while eating." Elizabeth replied eating with her other hand.

"What happens if you remove your hand?" Ana asked, in love with the way Tony's happily eating.

Elizabeth lets go of Tony's hand and all of them looking at the youngest Stark who started fusing while chewing a piece of meat, one hand starts waving asking for his auntie’s hand.

Elizabeth just let Tony wrap his fingers with her own in the meantime as Ana chuckled and Jarvis snorted with a smile.

"Howard tried it yesterday, removing Tony's hand away from Maria and he just cried. Not pretty." Jason added chuckling.

"It was hilarious!" Elizabeth told them as she snickered, "My brother promised to let him sleep with their room last night, if he stopped. Howard was third wheeling."

------

“Will you please go to sleep now? You're a growing boy, come on please do it Uncle JJ.” Jason sighed and rubbed his own face with his palm.

“No way.” Tony runs “I wan Liz…”

“I give up.” Jason buried his face in the kid’s bed

Jason finally gets up and walks to the living room where his best girl is reading something from her notebook. Watching Tony just dive to her lap startling the woman.

“What the-?” Elizabeth jumped out of reflex “I-shouldn’t you be in bed and counting sheep?”

“I’m not sleepy.” Tony shakes his head.

“Well, I am.” Jason sighed and sat next to Elizabeth looking into her eyes hoping she understood the silent help signal, "No more kids, one is enough.."

That was when Hank Pym called as Elizabeth put him on the speaker and started talking with him as she tried to put her kid to sleep.

"Lizzie is this a bad time?" Hank asked while on the phone, hearing Tony mumbling in the background and Jason's voice muttering something.

"No, Hankie it's fine. Someone's allergic to sleep just like his father, I'll pay you 500 bucks if you can get him to sleep." Elizabeth replied jokingly.

"I'll see what I can do. Do you remember the equation use for invention you and Howard were making?"

"Actually, yeah I do. The one for that android prototype? Yeah I do."

"Good because I thinking we can use for this new formula I was creating."

Both scientists go to work, talking with the equipment and possible new investments they would make that month to present to the others. Laughing and gushing about their week as well.

Jason was napping when he was accidentally smack on the shoulder due to Elizabeth's excitement how on they can improve the formula for the shrink ray.

"Ow!" He shouted softly, being woken up.

"Oh, sorry JJ. I was just, you know." She replied trying to explain with a chuckle.

"I know let me take this little guy off your hands."

"Alright."

Both expected to find Tony still awake on his auntie's lap but he nodding off as they spoke. They chuckled quietly thanking Hank's believing their science talk tired him out or something.

He picked him up as Tony's head rested on his shoulder, his eyes were trying to stay open as he mumbled, "I'm not tired...no sleepy.."

"Oh yes you are, Bubba. Very sleepy." Jason said with a soft chuckle with sighed, "Say night night."

Elizabeth stood up cupping his little face mumbling sweet nothing into his ears as Tony hummed a soft, "..night night."

"Night, my little star." She replied with a soft smile, deciding to help tuck him in.

They tucked in their little boy, turning on the recording on Maria Stark's gentle singing voice as background noise for Tony.

Moments like that, they both wished Howard and Maria were not busy sometimes but they're more than happy to raise the little guy instead.

----

As much as he is their little boy, he is Howard's son and that being said he was a little rebellious at time. Especially in his early teens and his years as an adult..

"Anthony Edward Stark, where the hell you think your going?" Elizabeth asked with her arms crossed and tapped her foot with a glare.

"Out!" Repiled Tony, who was 12 years old at this point with a classic smirk.

"It's Monday afternoon on a school night!"

"So?"

"So you're not heading out to whatever your heading off to! I don't care what it is, Friday it's another thing, I allow it. But Monday, hell no!"

"You're not dad, auntie Liz!"

"And thank god I ain't. Be lucky it ain't Peggy either, why do you want to head out anyway? To act cool with your friends?"

Tony sighed in defeat dramatically dropping the smirk and crossed his arms, "Well no shit. All my friends are doing it."

Jason stepped in after returning home from an getting supplies hearing his nephew, "Please tell you didn't just curse in front of your aunt."

"I just said 'shit'! Relax.." Tony replied with a sigh thinking of something knowing who's the softer parent, "And aunt Liz won't let me go out."

"First off no cursing at your aunt. And second, out where?"

"An party..all my friends will be there!"

"Is it on Friday?"

"Yup! It's on Friday, it's a small party."

Elizabeth scoffed, "No! It's tonight, an silly little stupid party with his friends doing god knows what. God knows if the parents will be there!"

"She's lying! She doesn't want me to have fun this week and stay stuck in this house, only invite to Rhodey or something." Tony shouted.

"Enough!" Jason yelled raising his voice, "I know she ain't lying and that you're the one who is actually lying. You know the rules Tony, no parties or anything on school night like Monday. And something tells me those kids parents don't know they're going to that party."

"B-but that's not fair! I should be allow to go." Tony yelled.

"No you shouldn't and it is fair, she’s saving you for tomorrow. She knows that something off is going on if it's on a Monday, simple as that. Doesn't that sound a little weird to you?"

"...yeah..it does."

"We will talk about this later."

A few more words were said before Tony left to the living room. Liz was pissed off and so was Jason.

He sighed and told her, "You were doing the right thing."

"I know.." She sighed, "I know. I'm just trying to protect him. Something tells me this won't be the last argument."

"Cause it won't. But we just try to lead him down the right path.."

"You got that right. Protecting him and all that.."

----

Road trips with the three of them tend to be something else. Tony always making himself known with questions, annoying them on purpose and snickering afterwards.

"Where we going?" Tony asked in the backseat, playing with his jacket zipper.

"To meet Peggy and your parents in San Diego." Elizabeth replied like it was obvious with a smile.

"And why are you driving?"

"Because your uncle JJ has a bad history with driving."

Jason perked up, "I'm right here, you know?!

Tony snorted, "Okay what time we get there?"

"Midnight." Elizabeth said with sigh.

"What happens at midnight?"

"You're bedtime."

"Can I drive?"

Both shouted at the same time, "No!"

That resulted in Tony laughing at their response as both parents chuckled at his ridiculous way to make times like that a joke or two.

---

Sometimes Elizabeth tends to become a mama bear, as if she isn't already. Like when Tony started dating, Howard rolled his eyes chuckling at his sister and Maria gushed hoping her boy enjoys the dating scene.

Elizabeth on the other hand, she was so excited and sat beside Jason one afternoon while he was reading. He was reading a classic children's' book from the shelfs, 'The Giving Tree' when Elizabeth came with a grin.

"Yes my darling?" He asked looking up from the book with a laugh.

"Tony got a date!" She repiled with a smile.

"With who? I mean I'm not surprise our kid has been a cheeky little guy since the age of 3."

"You know that day Howard took Tony down to that event in Chicago? Well there was this nice girl there with her mother, Tony sneaked off to see her and now they met again due to her mother bringing her here for an clothing event. And according to Ana, he has a date."

"That's my boy. If he's not a gentleman, I'll ground him for life. Where to?"

"Ana said that caravel downtown this weekend. She was eavesdropping and I love her for it."

"Not bad for a first actually date with a girl he seems to like."

Elizabeth sigh assuming something, Jason knew that look on her face and ask her what's going on.

"I don't want to sound cheesy but he's growing up so fast, JJ! I mean where did the time go? It felt like I was helping him add 2 + 2 yesterday! Now a date? Damn..he's my baby." Elizabeth admitted with a sigh.

Jason opened his arms pulling her into an tight embrace as she was nuzzling comfortably against his neck. She pouted, it was a rare moment but she did. He chuckled rubbing her shoulder.

"Aw, Lizzie, darling. He's growing up, I don't like it. Hell I would rather stop time and let him stay the way he is now. But we can't. Before we know it, he's buying his own house or deciding to buy this one off his father." Jason joked with a smile.

Elizabeth chuckled, "He might as well do that. I'm not ready for him to keep growing up, what if he doesn't want hugs from his auntie anymore? What if he grows up hating the idea of living with us? I mean it's a packed a house, i don’t blame him."

"Hahaha no, honey he won't. I think he rather have a packed house than a quieter one. And he will always need his auntie, he's your baby. Tony knows it, hell he might make you an godmother one day."

"Oh god no, don't think that far hahaha! I want him live in the moment now, before he's old and gray. I'm still gonna baby him no matter how old he is! You know that right?"

"Oh I know. And he's gonna be annoyed but love you for it. No matter what you do, you will be there to protect him and stand up for him."

"You too!"

"Oh hell yeah I will!"

---

And they are right about that. Yeah sure, Lizzie was gone under the ice for years due to a freak accident thinking she was goner. Having Jason and Tony feeling down in the dumps for some time.

But when that girl returned, her mama bird side came with her. And the man who was her right hand was more than happy about that.

"He's insane!" Liz yelled with a sigh, pointing at her nephew, "You're insane."

"Hello?! Have you met me?" Tony replied with a chuckle, "I think Pepper would love a big bunny for an anniversary slash Christmas present."

"Okay I dealt the whole 'I'm Iron Man, I can do whatever the hell I want' thing. But your Tony Stark! My Tony Stark, use that head of yours is a big bunny a good idea?"

"JJ gets you big jewelry and spoils you! I blame him for my actions, the bunny stays."

"Oh jeez. Did you at least get dinner ready?"

"Yeah it's pizza tonight. Why are you acting so uptight lately?"

Elizabeth sighed, "I've been asleep for years in ice and I come back to find you as Iron Man. A superhero. I know it's been an year now, but a part of me is still scared your gonna blow it!"

Tony chuckled pulling his auntie into a hug, "Oh Liz, it's me we're talking about. Hell, JJ is still terrified for my life. And honestly, I've already it blew it last year, in New York. I am stressed but I will be fine.."

"I know about your late night snacking and sleepless night, Tony. I'm worried about you. We all are."

"I know you are..but if anything happens, I will tell you. I promise."

~~~

Last forward to Christmas time, once the house blew up and JARVIS announces Tony's anxiety problems to everyone after arriving at the snowy side of the U.S. before shutting off.

Soon enough, they're dragging themselves across the snow to find a safe house. Rei's suit is being dragged across the snow, as he decide to start helping his godfather.

Liz snaps, "Anything you want to tell me?!"

"Okay in my defense I was gonna tell you soon." Tony winced.

"When?!"

"I was gonna make you an omelette and tell you about it!"

"Oh my god!"

Jason sighed dragging the Iron Man suit with them across with snow as the night fall onto of them.

"You two knew about this?! This whole time and didn't think of telling me?!" Jason yelled.

"I thought you knew about this! Or that he told you!" Liz yelled back.

"Great, now Ma and Pops are fighting." Rei added sarcastically, "Good job, Dad!"

Tony turned look at his son, “I’m sorry, how is this my fault?”

“Isn’t everything?”

“This is unbelievable.”

----

Other times, Jason and Elizabeth would be protecting themselves or their kids presence even when the guy isn't nearby.

Such as 2014, when they were called by SHIELD when it came to Alexander Pierce wanting their signature onto the new helicarriers.

Jason was tired as he asked, "Okay Pierce, what the hell is this?"

Elizabeth was standing next to him and pressed, "Mr. Secertary, what he meant is there a reason you've asked us to come here?"

"Signature, Mr. Underwood and Miss Stark." Said Pierce holding out pens, "As well, I was hoping you ask your nephew to stop by my niece's birthday party as a favor for Nick."

"He's our nephew, not a party entertainer." Elizabeth said with a raise eyebrow.

"Unless it's for his own children, and at the moment he's not dealing with your favors." Jason added, "What's the favor you're doing for Nick?"

"That's classified information, sir." Pierce replied.

"Of course it is..you know, it was a pretty long day and I don't want to be here. Matter a fact, none of us want to be to here! So good night Alexander." Elizabeth said standing up from her chair.

Jason stood up following her, opening the door for the girl as he gave Pierce an odd look before walking out. However that didn’t stop Elizabeth Stark to get information later on that day, returning to Alexander Pierce’s office after cooling down to get any information needed.

——

Sometimes due to Jason and Elizabeth being so close to Tony, along with their godchildren they get mistaken for the actual parents. Hell, even for being a couple more than once.

Such as in the early to late 2010s, Justin Hammer once asked, “Are theses your parents, Stark? I thought they were dead..”

Tony would give an sarcastic smile and reply, “Aw Hammer, you’re jealous? Too bad not everyone was given 3 sets of parents.”

“Three?”

“Oh yeah, didn’t you hear? Or were you too busy washing yourself in that horrible 80s cologne?”

Justin scoffed, “Damn. But seriously, are they giving out set of parents for free or what?”

“No. They’re mine, you can’t have them.” Tony added with a smirk.

~~~

Or when Fury called Tony and The Avengers out a few times, he will tend to bring JJ and Liz names into conversation, using the term parents. Such as in 2015, when they are all in Clint’s Barn. Also known as The Safe House.

Everyone was in the kitchen, including the teens and kids. Some were at the table such as Natasha, Bruce, Rick, Ava, Rei and Rochelle. Others were surrounding the area near the sink and fridge across from the kitchen island, such as Tony, Clint and Steve with Liane and Luna.

Clint’s wife Laura was listening in as the younger kids were wondering around.

Elizabeth was drying dishes as Jason washed them, meanwhile Fury was finishing placing some orange slices on a plate.

Nat spoke up, “You know boss, when I was hoping I saw ya, you would have more than that.”

Fury replied, “I do. I have you. Back in the day, I had eyes everything, ears everywhere else. You kids have all the things you can dream to use, Stark’s parents didn’t have much to work with beforehand but they made do. Now here we are, back on earth with nothing but our wit and our willingness to do good.”

Jason added, “Just like old times, huh? Rehashing a plan during dinner, then collaborating in the morning to figure out what can be done..”

“Ain’t that the truth. Nothing but our strength to save the world and make a difference for others.” Elizabeth commented with a grin.

Fury gave them a half smile and continued his speech, “Ultron says The Avengers are the only thing between him and his mission. And weather or not he admits it, his mission is global destruction. All this lay in the grave. So stand, out with the platinum bastard.”

Natasha winked at Rick and Rochelle before saying with a smirk, “Steve doesn’t like that kinda talk.”

Steve gave her a humorous mock glare, “You know what, Romanoff?”

The teens and young adults in the room snorted and chuckled. The group kept talking, figuring out what will they all do next, with the young members of the team chiming into the conversations.

Even Jason mentioned, “You can try Pentagon's firewall, are they open this time?”

“That could work, they are still roughly open this time and hour.” Elizabeth comments.

“Should i know why you know that?”

“I had to message the Pentagon years ago to reach an barrier of systemic risks, for SHIELD’s locating tactics. And Tony did something he wasn’t supposed to..”

“Oh god, what was it this time?”

Fury ate his orange slice answering, “You’re boy cracked into SHIELD systemic burns, but beforehand he cracked their firewall.”

“That’s something, I do think I remember he did!” He replied chuckling, “We got mysterious calls afterwards for weeks.”

Tony chimed in with a grin sounding proud and said, “I cracked the Pentagon’s firewall in high school on a dare and got a sweet deal afterwards.”

Elizabeth grinned brightly, “That’s my boy! Definitely a win in my books.”

“And me? I cracked into SHIELD firewall too multiple times.” Rei added with a sly smile, as you could hear his godfather holding back his laughter in the background.

“I love you too, kiddo!” She replied to her sarcastic godson, “Both of you are the reasons for the facility's cyber-security sub-bar.”

——

Thanks for reading! Feel free to add any HCs or chat about what you liked about the fic 💻

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Tags: @gaminggirlsstuff @gcthvile @missstrawbs2001 @mallowbee4 @rooster-84 @rickb-chaos @starkleila @whitewiccan @infinetlyforgotten @meiramel @sherloquestea @missstrawbs2001 @djs8891 @buckysteveloki-me @yetanotherwells and etc

[myon-94]

Hmm, back at you! I knew you liked Ray with Dimitri and I now know you don't like Niko with Packie (awesome, hehe), but are they actually the best and least?

Omg an ask what am I to do? Answer it of course this my one chance to talk abt gta ships without wanting to kms

Well if we're talking about non rarepairs and ships that actually have SOME ground in game then I must say Brucie and Roman might just be the best, their dynamic just works so well! In the sweet bellic (I think that's what it's called but it's the one where niko goes to kill that French Tom guy) the preferences written by Roman in niko's bio just seem to reflect Brucie a little too much and also Brucie did mention that "if he were queer" Roman would be in danger eheheh.

As for the least favorite, and I'm sorry everyone and especially to my 2019 baby gta stan self..it's gotta be dimitri and mikhail.

I know I know doomed old man yaoi is too good to pass but. I liked it a little when I first started getting into gta but as time passed I just found myself disliking it more and more.. Aside from the fact that mikhail is a married man with a grown daughter and cheating is a big no in my book, I just find their dynamic more and more toxic. Though that's normally not a big problem for me (I love misery) I think this time not only were they aggressive towards each other but I can't see a hint of romance in their interactions.

I see mikhail and dimitri as two people who were once friends- brothers even, who went through highs and lows together, who witnessed the death of their nation and tried to live in what was once their glorious union while still looking out for one another, and who immigrated to a far, foreign hostile country (most likely) without a penny to their name, and who were slowly and inevitably drifting apart..because nothing lasts forever.

It could've been the money and power, it could've been the painkillers and the coke, it could've been the fact that they were thousands of miles away from home and are still, even after a decade, in a foreign land they can't quite get used to.

Neither of them wanted to let go of the other. They could only trust each other. They were the only hint left of their old lives that neither wanted to forget. But everything was just..too much I guess? This couldn't keep on, and I believe it was dimitri who let go first.

I believe that by the time niko meets mikhail and dimitri the latter has already made up his mind about mikhail. What started as just boredom and annoyance of mikhail and his antics slowly manifesting into hate as his behavior started putting everyone in danger. I even think dimtri lied about the whole petrovic situation just to get an excuse to get rid of mikhail. And mikhail, well he didn't appreciate his friends distance in the slightest. But instead of thinking "maybe this is my fault" he just started to blame everyone and everything but himself, refusing to belive that he and only he was the reason his friend no longer liked him as much..and to cope he just undermines and makes fun of and blames dimitri any chance he can get; calling him paranoid, he blames him for the Lenny situation (though as I said I believe the whole fiasco was a lie) and in a deleted phone call he even accuses dimitri of sleeping with ilyena- the wife he cheats on every day. And to whom he complains? To the Serbian mercenary that knows nothing about any of them of course!

I especially find the moment where he says to niko "Dimitri would've been some prison meat if not for me" incredibly low because..you don't just say such a thing. It's cruel and it's disgusting and serves no purpose other than make dimitri look small in the eyes of others. I find his end quite fitting, rare niko W.

I do think they fucked once or twice tho :3 but they most certainly aren't in love.

BUT if we ARE talking about rarepairs then ohh boy...nothing beats dimitri and boccino. They're like. the ship ever. Still my proudest moment when I thought of these two together one Monday night 😮‍💨✨️ I rambled WAY too much abt mikhail and dimitri I know no one will read this if I talk abt ray and dimitri.

And least favorite rarepair..well there aren't many cuz yk they're rare. But I think Niko and Derrick for no other reason than because they always kill off my babygirls francis and boccino and talk shit about them for the rest of the fic. #Fuck Derrick I hate this lying drug addict rat.

[hungerofhadarr]

OKOK FINAL CHAPTERS 10-12 DEAD SPACE 2023 THOUGHTS

- OHHH MY FUCKING GOOOOOD

- okay . OKAY ,

- okay so fuck my life .

- THEY USED THE MARKER SCRAWL FOR ISAAC’ S MISSIONS . MAKE US WHOLE . MAKE US WHOLLLE .

- also CHEN ? HALLUCINATING CHEN TALKING TO YOU OVER THE RIGLINK . OH MY GOD

- The corpses talking to Isaac and wishing they could get his forgiveness I am .

- HE IS FULLY BEING TOYED WITH BY THE MARKER . IT CHOSE HIM AND IT WILL PLAY WITH HIM UNTIL HE BREAKS . THE MARKER SCRAWL IN THE SCREENS AND IN HIS OWN FUCKING RIG . THE WHISPERS THE CONSTANT FEELING OF BEING WRONG .

- normal .

- When you approch the marker and it causes your vision to warp . Ohhhh my god

- THE HUNTER .

- The constant terror of knowing that it wants to kill you and it will do anything to tear you apart but you KNOW that he is Harris and you Know what Mercer fucking did to him . There is innocence there . Also the fact it has a Baby’ s face atop a body of an apex predator . Oh my god

- WHEN ISAAC PERMANENTLY KILLS THE HUNTER HE TELLS HARRIS THAT MERCER CAN’ T HURT HIM ANYMORE . OHH

- also fun fact you kill it by luring it behind the exhaust for a ship and then testing them engines . It burns it with such intensity it disintegrates

- WHEN YOU ENTER MERCER’ S ROOM AND . Oh my god the hallucination of an old call between Isaac and Nicole .

- Isaac’ s mom killed herself and then his dad and Uniontology kept the bodies . Isaac asking why Nicole said she could be left alone and saying that Nicole killed them . Nicole asking Isaac why he told her to go to the Ishimura . “ go to hell , Isaac “ “ I can’ t lose her too “ SHUT UP BEFORE I THROW UP

- Honestly i fully understand both Isaac’ s complete grief and Nicole’ s horror bc . We have a man who lost his parents to this and a woman who escaped it . This shit Ruins Lives . Oh my god

- so much FLESH . It really feels like the ship is alive and it has teeth and bone and blood and it hates . It hates you . It HATES YOU .

- Ohhh i forgot to mention the . When you first enter the crew deck you see the bodies laid down in the main room and twinkle, twinkle little star plays so faintly from the speakers . Help . He l p

- WHEN YOU KILL THE HUNTER . AND MERCER STORMS ONTO THE DECK . AFTER THE HIVE MIND ABOARD THE SHIP GRABS YOU . AND IT WRAPS AROUND MERCER AND THE MARKER TO DRAG IT INTO IT’ S MASS AND HE SAYS NO , THAT IT PROMISED IT WOULDN’ T .

- ohhh god

- he begged for convergence but with his prize offering gone he was going to take it’ s place . And he would have been made to be a part of it no matter what

- so good making him clearly opposed to becoming a part of the thing he forced upon others and experimented with and wanted to understand . The moment he had to become one then he did not want it anymore .

- Dr . Kyne . Okay why did they make him thinner . What was with that

- THE SIDE ROOM IN HIS OFFICE COVERED IN SCRAWL OF THE NAME AMELIA . HIS DEAD WIFE .

- the Marker brought her back to him ..

- HEARING HAMMOND’ S VOICE WHILE FIGHTING STATIS NECROMORPHS . OH FUCK ME

- DANIELLLS

- Okay her villain twist reveal feels so much more . Just more . In this game . Love her always btw .

- killing kyne … taking the marker … Isaac is too far gone she has to leave him

- EarthGov cover up….

- also clearly hypocritical she’ s BEEN seeing her dead brother like you and Isaac are in the same boat . Love her

- NICOOOOLE

- THE HEART TO HEART CONVERSATION . WHATEVER

- Pulling the ship back to the Ishimura .. weeee

- okay i was wondering how they were gonna do the Nicole is a marker hallucination and you have been infected by it twist and .

- OHHHHHHHHH

- Dr . Cross . Who was waiting for her Jacob . Her Engineer Jacob Temple . Who was murdered my Mercer . The marker .

- It made Isaac see Nicole and Cross see Jacob . It played into what they wanted so they could progress and make them whole . Ohhh

- CROSS DYING . GOD DAMN IT

- SEEING THE FINAL VIDEO NICOLE SENT ISAAC IN FULL . Still hurts just as much she has been dead the whole time she died on camera she took her own life . I loved you . I always loved you . IT WAS EVEN WORSE THIS TIME !!!!!!!!!

- HIVEMIND FIIIIIGHT

- ISAAC SCREAMING THIS IS ALL I HAVE LEFT BEFORE THE FIGHT . GOD .

- he is the last survivor and he WILL survive DAMN IT

- managed to do it in one go with my health in the red for . Most of it

- THEY KEPT THE JUMPSCARE AT THE END OF THE GAME . ISAAC IS STILL HALLUCINATING NICOLE EVEN AFTER ESCAPING . HAS HE REALLY WON ?

I am missing side quests and audio / text logs i need to do another run so badly right . Now . This game ruined my life again . Dead space 2 remaster When ?

[the-fiction-witch]

Breed P2

Media Irl X Scifi

Character Thomas Brodie Sangster

Couple Thomas X Reader

Rating Smut

Concept Breed Series

Smut Nudity/ Sexual Discussions 

He took me to a ship and chained me inside on a small blue bed beside the window giving my head a kiss before storing my stuff and heading thought to the front of the ship, leaning over the chairs at the front fiddling with controls.

"I don't even know your name" I pouted

"Thomas" he chuckled

"Where are you taking me?"

"I'm taking you to linly"

"How far is that?"

"About four days trip. That's without hyperdrive thought the damn things busted again" he explained the ship jolting as we started to move slowly rising up to the correct altitude leaving the planet behind

"What are we taking?" I asked

"Main quad till asamath then east till home" he explained leaving the ship to drive itself fixing his shirt as he headed back to the same area as me making a coffee

"How-" I began

"You know you ask alot of questions" he sighed leaning on the counter

"Sorry"

"It's fine. Relax princess. Natural for you to be curious about where your going. Not that it matters. You'll be lucky to see outside the castle once we're back"

"Castle?"

"Yes castle. In lenis. I've already got a suite being set up for you" he explained

"Why am I in the castle?'

"Because I live there. I'm not having you off somewhere hard to get to? Firstly it's inconvenient for me secondly I can't trust anyone not to give your location away and thus I have my little breeder being used by other people" he explained

"Understandable. So you live in a castle?'

"All lords do. Use to be alot more of us. But... things happen" he said

"Sorry."

"It's fine." He says having his coffee "ohh and just a heads up Millie is not going to like you"

"Millie?"

"My wife" he shurgs

"Your what! Your married!"

"Yes. Not by choice. One of the last lords o didn't get a choice in the matter. Relax o barely see her and when I do she just tells at me."

"Why don't you just... you know?

"Breed"

"Yeah, With her?'

"I can't. She's infertile. As barren as Helios that girl" he sighed

"Then why stay married to her?"

"Because of families and politics. It's complained. Having you upstairs is just far easier" he explained

"Alright" I sighed

"What is your name anyway?"

"Y/n"

"Y/n. Awww cute. Well four day trip guess we should get comfortable"

I had to admit, as much as I didn't like it. He was a perfect gentleman. We were deep into our third day of traveling with not much to see out the windows but stars, and infinite blackness. I was concerned that the moment I was chained on the ship I'd be forced on my back until we reached his home planet but the most he had done was give me goodnight kisses. I was allowed the one bed given I was chained to it, he fed me, allowed me full rein of the ship or as full as my chain would allow, and he slept in the pilots seat.

Where he currently sat sleeping with a blanket over him, for a while I just sort of watched him his slow gentle breaths, his occasional shifts, the way he would clearly have something happen in his dreams which would cause his rose to wrinkle and his brow to lower.

I had actually been watching him for… a creepy amount of time as he stirred a little and gently opened his eyes immediately seeing me, I looked away trying to hide it but I knew he had caught me and he smiled a little

"Morning princess"

"Morning"

"Sleep okay?"

"Fine"

"Good."

"What did happen? To linly and all?" I asked

"I'll tell you someday" he says "uhhh I need a coffee. Something strong too" he sighed pushing his blanket away and heading over to the kitchen area to make himself a coffee, I couldn't help looking at him given what I knew was eventually going to happen to me, between us. As he stood barefoot on the ships floor, his loose brown and blue striped pants he had worn to sleep them hung a little low so much so it was obvious he hadn't bothered with underwear below them, his bare back exposed he hadn't slept in a shirt either but his chain still around his neck. He turned to face me coffee in hand leaning his butt Against the counter glancing out the window as he took the first tender sips of his fresh coffee letting out a blissful sigh resting the cup against his bare chest, his chest was hairless almost completely, all but the small blonde trail of hair heading downwards from his stomach, his pants so low I could see the start of the V that headed downwards too. He glanced from the window to me and immediately I moved my view to the floor.

The corner of his lip curled into a sly smile giving me an expectant glare as he sipped his coffee.

"What?" I snapped

"Enjoying yourself?"

"What?"

"Enjoying the view there y/n?"

"No!"

"Liar. You like looking at me?"

"Just leveling the playing field"

"That your best excuse?"

"It's not an excuse you've seen me. I was meerly -"

"I don't care." He chuckled "your my breeder. I couldn't give less of a shit" he shrugs

"We've been here three days in a single class ship you can't blame me for being curious. You've seen me it's only leveling the playing field"

"True" he nods "well there's one place you have yet to see"

"Yeah?"

"Did you want to?" He smirked

"No!" I snapped turning away slightly

"Alright I only asked princess" he laughed "the field will be level when we land on linly. Well maybe a while after give you time to adjust and all plus I have a meeting and ten and I don't know if I can be asked to fuck you then go do a meeting just seems annoying."

"Won't your wife want to see you?"

"I don't imagine so"

"Why not she's your wife?"

"I did explain we hate each other" he laughed "we're married for politics not because like each other. No she'll be up in her suite with her toys"

"Her toys? What she crafts? Toy ship's? Dolls?" I asked

"Danny and Ali"

"Uhhh?"

"Her toys. Danny and Ali. They for her are the equivalent to what you are to me" he smirked "picked them up for her a while back both as infertile as she is so nothing to worry about their so she goes up in her suite and plays with toys" he explained setting his now empty cup down

"So will I be your toy?"

"Pretty much. But you're useful." He says coming over and taking my face in his hands kissing the top of my head "so don't let her get to you" he says "now. I'm going to get dressed, you have fun"

"I'm sure I will" I rolled my eyes

"Don't take that tone with me princess. Or I'll give you a spanking" he winked heading to the bathroom

"Sorry master" I said acting up as innocent as possible

"And you take that tone with me again I'll deep throat you we clear?"

"Yes"

"Good girl" he says heading into the bathroom so I looked out the window trying to entertain myself but "and y/n?"

"Yes?" I asked glanced back to the bathroom door and I was admitted taken back as he leant his shoulder against the doorframe still shirtless but now having pushed his pants down enough to reveal his half hard erection leaving no inch of him hidden to me he was different then I imagined the hair continued down but given its blonde colour it's was fairly un noticeable, his V guided your eyes so perfectly to his shaft, he wasn't that thick but made up for it in length even if he was only half hard, his shaft featured a couple prominent veins, his head seeming desperate for attention.

I blushed bright red when I saw him and he just smirked.

"To quell your curiosity princess" he winked before going back into the bathroom.

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Watching Con O'Neill's old stuff cause it's fun. Day #?- Ordinary lies-EPISODE 1

I am going, to be honest. I don't know how to tag this without 'ruining it' look up the warnings on your own? Tell me below in the comments those of you who have seen this how you would tag warnings for this. Just take this meme and go googling.

UPDATED CON RANKINGS DOWN BELOW! Also, for anyone who doesn't know, I finally have a tag for this series! It's easy to find now!

As always thanks to @ivegotnonameidea for the love

Some people I follow who I think have seen this and I'd love their opinions @cliffcostello @gydima @dianetastesmetal @mossiestpiglet(if you haven't seen this, just ignore me. Or go read the warnings and watch it?)

Thoughts below, I'd love to hear yours.

(IS IT BETTER TO KNOW OR NEVER HAVE KNOWN)

SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT BABES! ITS A WILD RIDE! For me this is almost as emotional as Joe Meek from Telstar. So....YEAH.

Con being the first name in the credits?

DAD ROCK CON!

AHHH, smiling. A sign of more to come

OHH! Cringe boss/coworker Con! I love it. I've seen a gif of this speech out of context and thought he'd be an ass.

What job is he doing?

JOE! That name has no Con O'Neill associations.

"I don't assemble teams based on the basis of who might fuck eachother" JOE I LOVE YOU

I know that head of hair! Hey Joel Fry!

As someone who worked at a warehouse, they've got the energy down. "I will just, leave them here, for you" Yeah, real.

DONT WALK BACKWARDS IN A WARHOUSE

WHAT THE FUCK!

(As someone who has dropped a boxed up sewing machine on my head from about that height, the boy's going to need help. If he suddenly becomes 'crazy' ill be a bit peeved.)

Also, most pallets for warehouses are stacked bottom heavy. We don't know the freight they ship, but still. The only reason heavy stock was on top is if the whole pallet was heavy. (I get that they had to drop empty boxes on Con for ~Safety~ but they could have edited snappier)

Headache? Do you know what helps? GOING TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN YOU HAVE AFFORDABLE HEALTHCARE!

I'm calling it. The wife is cheating on him. Joe's not allowed to be happy.

AHHH! They won't let him drive! Love it.

I LOVE HIS JACKET!

This over-the-bed shot was necessary, and I love it

Oh, look at him. Community leader.

So he's insecure, has a shaky relationship with his family, and is semi-committed to work? LOVE IT

No Joe, partners don't snoop at their partner's phones.

NO, CHEATING WOULDN'T BE GOOD HERE?!?!

Also, that fucking look Joe gave him. love it.

GOD CAN PEOPLE JUST FUCKING TALK?

If he cheats in retaliation, this will start a circle of cheating and bullshit. Speaking from life, don't put your kids through that.

Actually, this is the most realistic portrayal of warehouse managers. Especially ignoring basic safety rules for a laugh. The only thing they messed up on was doing it in front of the cameras. Managers know better.

BRO

DON'T PUT CAMERAS IN YOUR OWN HOME

I know Joel is a superhero which just makes this scene fun.

As paranoid as I am with my space, I like to think I'd notice.

EXACTLY TECH GUY. Trust is mandatory. Wait, don't threaten physical harm, that's a bit much

He's trying to be fun, but god. OH HIS YODA IS SO FUN

Going to a bar with coworkers sounds awful

I hope my life pushes me to follow the narrative as hard as it's convincing Joe that his wife is cheating on him.

Maybe don't fuck your coworkers?

BRO DOING THE WEIRD STALKER THINGS AFTER WORK?

Joe is going to a meeting, at least he's proactive.

NOT AT WORK? THE FUCK.

GAY? Gay cheating or do they just have long hair?

Yeah, he's having a good day. 10/10

Why is the PA at his desk? What the fuck? Even if he wasn't paranoid, it's still wrong if he's upper management.

(Smoke alarm scene) Oh joy, the cards come crumbling. Also, I don't know when this was published, but they definitely had small enough cameras to fit inside a working smoke alarm.

SHE DOESN'T TRUST HIM TO TALK THIS OUT? At least entertain the thought that your teenager is smoking?

Ohh he's quizzing her to see if she's cheating, bro don't look too suspicious.

BRO IF YOU'RE UNHAPPY ENOUGH TO CHEAT JUST FUCKING TALK ABOUT GETTING A DIVORCE!

I love this adventure outfit.

What did he expect? They don't supply the mountain with 4g

Aww he's in recovery, it'd be a shame if, over the course of this episode, he slipped up :|

'Good Time Joe' :( (also, this is just going to make me sad, huh)

Good for him. But not including his wife/kids is kind of saying a lot.

That looks like a nice sleeping bag!

Oh shit, that's a walk. Good thing you didn't tell anyone where you were going. :\ he's asking to get murdered

Yeah, babe. This is creepy. Please evaluate your actions.

Yeah, this scene is sweet.

BRO DON'T ACT LIKE THIS SUDDEN EVASION OF PRIVACY

Wait, did he accidentally out his kid's relationship? Is that what I'm supposed to gather from this?

WHY IS HE CASUALLY FLICKERING A LIGHTER?

Also, if this is something 'serious' please tell me this wasn't the era when weed was the worst tv would do

I feel like this talk would be easier if you didn't make eye contact

INSTALLING THE CAMERAS GAVE HIM TOO MUCH FUCKING INFO. God, that's funny as fuck.

She needs to stop fucking new employees, it's an HR issue

This whole meet-up scene is nice

IT IS BETTER TO HAVE NEVER FOUND OUT BABE. Life is a mystery and being able to find out is an issue. In fact, you can stop whenever you want. Like, now?

Teenage daughter is drinking, calling it now.

OH SHIT, THE WIFE?

Okay, maybe the two women are just really close friends.

SHE GRABBED HER FACE, THAT'S CODE FOR FUCKING

Also, even I don't know that I'd keep alcohol in the house if Joe is known to drink instead of reaching out for help. Obviously, everyone has different limits, but eh. Feels courteous at least.

Joe is not having a good time. If I need to pause for embarrassment reasons, I'll say.

OH SHIT JOE. THAT'S NOT GOOD.

"It's not porn" If you think your wife is fucking someone, and you caught it on camera, that's porn.

Look, say what you will. But it looks like she cares as his boss/equal.

He's not himself cause he's scared.

"How would you rate that assessment?" "6/10" BRO

Just tell her. About the cheating at least.

See, Joe is just coming to this realization. This is the healthiest mindset to respect people's boundaries.

No, you don't have a right to know everything. AHHH HE LOOKED AT THE CAMERA OMG THAT WAS SO GOOD.

YES! IT'S A NEW ADDICTION GOD THAT'S SO SMART! AHHHHH

Good! Look at him apologizing. An Adult.

Also, their business is heavily dependent on people's excess income. As hard as he can try, he's fucked living with the economy as his ruler. Sad honestly.

I haven't mentioned that he's spying in the bathroom now instead of the desk, but god is that unhygienic.

You know what, I have some hope for him.

IS THAT A GUY? Threesome? Foursome? Wait, what pamphlet? Are they close to scoping him out?

ITS DANGEROUS BULLSHIT TIME

It's probably just her coworkers, right? This is all an innocent mistake?

OH HE'S TAILING THEM! That is so BALLSEY!

How the fuck is he going to explain himself if they catch him?

OH SHE CATCHES PREDATORS! OH MY GOD!

ICON

FUCKING HERO

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD

What? What am I missing? Oh SHIT.

OH SHIT.

GOD HE'S A GOOD FUCKING DAD. LOOK HE'S SO FUCKING GOOD GOD!

AHHHHHHHH

Look as shitty as it is, he has a point.

Violence won't do shit, and neither will entrapment.

OH FUCK

OH SHIT

OH MY GOD

NOOOOOOO

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

WHAT???!?!?1?!?!??!?!?!?!?!

GOD AT LEAST HE HAS PROOF!?!?!?!?!? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Jesus. Just get a divorce.

OH SHE DID ACTUALLY CHEAT

HE DIDN'T EVEN GET PROOF! DID SHE ACCIDENTLY LET SOMETHING SLIP?

Okay, Jesus, get a divorce.

FUCK.

No, let her do this, hit him.

How the fuck does he not know what statutory rape is in this instance? This is a really fucking good episode but Jesus Christ, that fucking neggs me.

ME FUCKING TOO JOE. WAIT THATS BOOZE. NO

NO

FUUUUUCCKKK

At least he immediately went to go see someone in his support system (his daughter) after relapsing.

___________________________________________________________

CON: FUCKING 10/10. I don't even know where to begin. I am so fucking happy I wasn't spoiled for shit besides his opening speech and seeing gifs of his chest. He plays Joe as a raw, damaged individual who just wants to protect himself and his family. I have entire fucking essays I want to write on his performance.

What Joe needs is a support group. I know he's in other episodes, and the entire point of this show is that people live Ordinary Lives, but just knowing how bad he's struggling, it seems cruel to me. Real in a way I want media to clean up nicely with a bow. He's reaching a new low in his life, and fuck! If yall tell me other episodes have more prominent Joe scenes, I will absolutely watch it.

Yes, I've seen "Let me buy you a drink! Tier Five Friday, whoo whoo?" and a few other clips of Joe and Joel Fry's character. AND ITS SAD, regardless of how funny it is. I'm so fucking weak for this depressed man.

It just hurts cause I know he can work to be happier.

If he thinks she's willing to cheat, he doesn't trust their relationship to hold.

But with how he feels like he's failed them as a protector, losing them could fucking break them more. As I mentioned sports supplies are an excess funds type product. Imagine if all of this shit was going on, AND a recession hits, and his position at work was threatened? I was laid off from my warehouse job THREE MONTHS before peak just because profits were low. Joe having a record of assaulting staff and unsafe workmanship on the floor could be enough to lose his job if things get tight.

I want to give this man a fucking happy ending, a partner who he can trust and have these discussions with, and a better fucking support system.

I know my 'as I watch' summary seems disjointed but my original one without editing was too long for Tumblr. It included me just fucking hitting my keyboard. LOTS OF FUCCKKKKKS. Etc, you get my point. I want to rewatch this to see all the nuances with full context, and also never think about this again cause I will explode it's so fucking good.

For Joe's final thoughts, who's better to give final words than Con himself?

"I feel for him. I wouldn't do what he does – but I understand why he does it."

Characters besides Con: 9/10. A few small things bugged me. But eh. They are people as Joe sees them. I'm sure if I watched other episodes these people would be more fleshed out.

Story 9/10: I love that this was a mystery drama in the truest sense of the word. We were meant to solve things along with Joe until the rug was pulled from under us. WE WERE THE OBSERVING EYES BUT WE WEREN'T ALL-KNOWING. The audience wasn't God. We went from thinking he was weird to even considering this, but Jesus. He caught his son doing one of the fucking worst things he could have possibly done.

Again, I know fuck ups exist in every goddamn family. But the son is old enough to have been aware of what happened to his sister when it happened. The son knew exactly what happened to his sister and still did what he did. Again, it's real, but it just feels like so much shit stacked on top of Joe's shoulders at the last fucking second to make him break. I feel for the Mom and Daughter but they were kind of side stories here we barely got to see.

Everything unravels from the audience at first thinking Joe is weird, to OH MY GOD?!??!?! Is a delight. If a mystery is served to us like this, I will eat it the fuck up.

Overall: 10/10. I fucking love this hour of television. We got so many scenes of Joe just slightly breaking down as everyone around him wouldn't just be honest with him. He had to break down in the last ten minutes, and we the audience had no clue just how shitty the situation was. If you want me to watch more, don't be afraid to fully spoil the cool stuff down below. If I didn't care more about keeping a 'scale' this would be a 11/10+.

Again, everyone in S is essentially interchangeable.

I will add his bit roles if needs be. Or if I'm bored! (Update-2/23/2023 to include recent bit roles)

As always, have a good day. Or night. I'm writing this at 1 in the morning so hopefully, it's understandable. Please throw up words below, it always makes my day!

[straightbaittournament]

only the option with the least votes will be eliminated! the rest go on to round 3. propaganda under the cut (and more always welcome!):

kit tanthalos and graydon hastur:

Classic arranged marriage trope but the she-hates-him part never goes away because she’s in love with her best friend/bodyguard Jade

tobias funke and debrie bardeaux:

Tobias gets left by his first wife for not being sexually attracted to her and then has an affair with a gay porn actress from a series called straightbait I just think it’s pretty funny. Debrie starred in a series of softcore gay porn films called Straightbait where she seduces a guy but tells him he has to sleep with another man before he sleeps with her to prove how attracted to her he is, thus proving he isn’t gay. Tobias is also super gay. They date for like 40 episodes and raise a son together.

izuku midoriya and ochako uraraka:

It’s the classic main character x friend who is a girl ship. They have no actual romantic interactions outside of their friendship. Ochako has “feelings” for Izuku, but they are clearly feelings of friendship until one of her friends insists that she must have a crush on Izuku, making her feel confused and embarrassed. Izuku clearly sees Ochako as a good friend, but when they first meet, he blushes and thinks “I can’t believe I just talked to a girl.” On the same day, he also blushes when he sees that a famous male hero is proctoring their exams. It’s literally so boring as a romantic ship. They have no chemistry as a couple.

willow park and hunter:

THEY ARE NOT STRAIGHT THEY R BI4PAN BUT IT IS AN M/F RELATIONSHIP They are an M/F relationship in The Gay Show and they are hinted and teased but never confirmed

raleigh becket and mako mori:

Literally everything about the writing of Pacific Rim makes it seem like they're setting up for a romance between these two and then they just. Don't. Despite this, "drift compatible" was one of the most popular AUs for couples after the film came out for a hot minute because of how romantic these two made the concept seem. *gestures to the entire movie* seriously

jeff winger and britta perry:

the show starts off with jeff creating the study group so that he can get with britta, they serve essentially as narrative foils, with jeff not caring about people and britta caring too much about people, they nearly get married on THREE (3) separate occasions, they're secret friends with benefits for an entire season but break up when the group finds out, they're the only two people from the core group left in greendale when the show ends; but in the end they make jeff's "true love interest" the girl who was half his age when the show started (36/18)...

asuka tenjoin and yuki judai:

The ship name (fianceshipping) comes from the episode where Judai *accidentally* duels some guy to become Asuka's fiance (said guy never asks Asuka how she feels about this, ugghhh greater Duel Academia student body be normal about ladies challenge). Turns out that he *didn't know what a fiance was* and just wanted to have a good ol' time cardgaming. I think that this says more about this ship than anything else I could tell you. During the final season, Asuka almost confesses to him but cuts herself off & they then thank each other for giving each other some clarity of mind because they're both going through pretty rough times at that point in the plot. Looks concerningly like they're about to do a whole "ohh we need to make the main girl and boy romance out of obligation" bit and then they just don't do it. It's great. I have no idea if this counts because I didn't personally feel baited but I think they're very fun as a pair and I like them 🫡. judai is the gayest guy of all time (subtext) and im like 80% sure asuka was experiencing comphet bc he's the only guy in their grade that treats her like a person. besties 4ever!!!!!!!! straightmod has been informed that judai is also textually queer because he is canonically attracted to a non-binary character.

kwan and win:

This is a Thai teen drama that focuses on many teens going through hardships and it's very dramatic and very fun I love it so much THESE TWO. They circled around each other for two whole seasons and the tension was there!! He was a bad boy, she was a good girl, every time they spoke there was something in the air. They were both arguably the leads of an ensemble cast and it really felt like they were being set up to get together but then it just... never happens. This show has been out for 10 years and I'm still mad about it. THE WASTED POTENTIAL OF IT ALL

valkyrie and thor:

Like a lot of ships with a white man and a woman of color, their chemistry and history get shunted to the side by racist writers and fans who refuse to acknowledge them as anything other than friends.

good luck everyone! now go vote!

[featherlouise]

UHM 15 AND 16 FOR PK AND HOLLOW? 😳 (my babygirls)

OOOH OKOK

15. What's your fave ship for this character??

Hollow

Ughhhhh, honestly I'm a multishipper at heart ahdbdjfj. Obv I adore Eóghan and Hollow together, they mean SO much to me honestly, but I don't think I actually have a favourite canon wise???

Radihollow is always fun!! I'm a sucker for enemies for lovers, they're both stupid bastards dynamics. I also ADORE "destined enemies" and "defying fate" kinda tropes, so honestly any iteration of this ship has me by the THROAT.

Ohh I guess I do have a favourite ship for Hollow ahebdnffjnf

PK

WYRMROOT WYRMROOT I LOVE A MAN OBSESSED WITH HIS WIFE. THEY'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS ANF THRY STILL FUCIINH ADORE EACH OTHER FUCK YEA THAT'S THE STUFF

They’re also SO fun to explore bc of how TRAGIC their story is, if you’ve been here a while you KNOW how much I love tragedy. Learning about the downfall of their relationship is like watching a train wreck and it’s impossible to look away.

16. What's your least fave ship??

Hollow

Hmmm, if I were to disregard the obvious gross ones, probably quirrelhollow?? (Is that their ship name)

I don’t really have any particular reasons, it’s just kinda boring to me ig??? I can’t really see them as anything more than friends honestly. That’s honestly just down to personal taste tho, I know I’ve seen some super cute art of them, it’s just not my cuppa tea lmao.

PK

Uhhhhmmmmmmmmm. Ig anything with Radi or Herrah??? I’ve seen it crop up a few times and ooooh boy those two HATE that man what are u talking about abbdjdjd

Oooo Palewatcher is a pretty uninteresting ship for me n all actually, it doesn’t give me the ick or make me mad or anything, but a lot of fics I’ve seen with Lurien as the main romantic interest COMPLETELY disregard WL and my girl deserves more than that!!!

[venom0usbarbie]

Ohh um.... Fleur/Ginny please.

FLEURINNY - SHIP IT

What made you ship it?

In Half-Blood Prince, chapter 5 ("An excess of Phlegm"), Ginny says this:

“A cow,” said Ginny, nodding. “But Bill’s not that down-to-earth. He’s a Curse-Breaker, isn’t he, he likes a bit of adventure, a bit of glamour... I expect that’s why he’s gone for Phlegm.”

I mean, come on. My girl Ginny is fucking jealous. In fact, two books earlier, she doesn't seem all that interested in bashing Fleur. In Goblet of Fire, chapter 23 ("The Yule Ball"), she's quite elated to see Fleur turning down Ron. She laughs about it!

“He — er — just asked Fleur Delacour to go to the ball with him,” said Ginny. She looked as though she was fighting back a smile, but she kept patting Ron’s arm sympathetically.

Those are the crumbs canon gives us. And they are more than enough for my little gay heart! What's not to love? Little sister obsessed with her older brother's wife? The tragic potential is absolutely rife with these two!

Personality-wise, we have two women who are both quite strong-headed and opinionated, from different cultures and backgrounds but also meeting in the middle, with Fleur marrying Bill. Of course, the dynamic could also do without Bill playing a role in it, but, so what? I like it when things are fucked up. Sue me.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

French/Brit, they're lesbians your honour, but also one of them is married to the other's brother, TRAGIC, two hot strong-headed women who hate-fuck but also??? fall in love??? more please.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

This ship is barely enough of a ship for there to be discourse about it! That's the fucking tragedy. Like, excuse me, what do you mean 56 works? And I alone am responsible for 5% of those! Fleurmione (love them but come on, they make less sense than Fleurinny) has 1,010 works. PLEASE GIVE ME MORE FLEURINNY!

A final note

Since I'm trying to make fetch this ship Happen...

Let me try to convince you with my own work! For @hp-rarepairs, I wrote a series named Water & Earth.

If my little Tumblr diatribe hasn't convinced you, then I hope my own work will! Part 1 - Yours

“I’m yours,” breathes out Ginny—it’s almost unwilling, like the words are torn from her throat. She can’t take them back now. She has always been Fleur’s— even as she watched Roger Davies make her spin across the dancefloor even as she stood in a pale gold dress while Fleur was exchanging vows with Bill even as she waited at Hogwarts while a war was unfolding before her very eyes even as she heard news of Fleur’s pregnancy Always.

Part 2 - Mine

Ginny doesn’t protest, doesn’t push—five years later, she’s still ravenous for scraps, for crumbs. She allows herself to be dragged along, forgoing her spark and her will to rebel. She’s tired of fighting, tired of finding herself entangled in wars. For now, she just wants to enjoy the supple silk of Fleur’s skin, the warm whispers of her voice dripping in her ear, the liquid ecstasy of her mouth on her body, on her lips. She revels in knowing that she is Fleur’s and no one else’s, in the guttural r’s that roll off her tongue when she holds Ginny tight and says, “You’re mine.”

Part 3 - I'm the Land You Flooded with Your Waters

Her spirit floats, runs away. Runs to the memories, where the pain meets the pleasure, where the sadness meets the euphoria, where things are bittersweet rather than outright bitter. She swims—no, she runs—no, she drowns— She travels back. Back to the first time Fleur sank into her arms, weeping uncontrollably, a fountain bursting and leaking against her chest; the first time her lips found Ginny’s, insatiable and trembling with sadness. The kiss was sloppy, animalistic—almost surreal in how little it made sense. “Do you, Charlie Weasley, take Fleur Delacour—”

[toruland]

Lei nooo

No crying

C'mere babygirl

My sweet little lei💕

Why don't you tell me what you're hyperfixating on? What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?

I could go on about the lesbian vampires again if you want, just want my wife to feel better💕💕

hmm

currently, the only person going through my brain right now is al-haitham

ooh, and albedo

two very smart men, but they’re like, complete opposites cause al-haitham is like the cocky nd condescending person who i would’ve definitely hated in middle and high school, while albedo is the type to tell you little fun facts everyday, or nerd out about a topic while you sit there like (´◡`) cause he’s just so cute when he’s all passionate :((

and the more i think about it, childe.

especially childe.

im also working on a really nice piece on my violin, so that’s also been taking over my mind too

i can’t stop humming it, especially the second and third movement, and i just wanna practice all day long

these are some of the only thoughts i have, quite honestly

for now, anyway

remembered this as i was typing!

i actually grew up with a kid like al-haitham, except he was not hot at ALL and i fucking hated his guts

he was just so annoying, and his existence literally irked my soul

we went to all the same schools, and always had classes together (thankfully not including college)

one example of our rivalry comes from 5th grade, where i was having a pretty rough school year (a lot of family issues)

—start scene—

teacher: “top scores of the class on the science exams is r/n (rival name), lei, and *insert some random kid’s name*, but not in that order, of course

*insert another random kid’s name*: “what’s the order?”

teacher: 3rd place was *isrkn*, 2nd was r/n, and 1st was lei! :D”

*que little 5th grade me being praised by the entire class*

teacher: “oh, wait…sorry, i mixed that up lol! 2nd place was lei, and 1st place was r/n!”

*que me staring into her soul as if she had just burned my family home to the ground and stole the family cat*

—end scene—

and he bragged about that for the entire fucking year.

“oh haha, remember when ms. teacher mixed up our grades? 😂 yeah, that was really funny 🤣🤣”

and i’d just look him in the face like 😐 while i silently planned to ruin his entire life <3

then every teacher shipped us because ohh yeahhh, the two smartest kids in the class just have to be together

even my mom shipped us. it was infuriating

she would always ask if i had any classes with him at the start of every school year after like, 4th grade, then she’d be like “sooo…..do you like him? ;>”

and i would have to hold back vomit 😐

but yeah, that’s my story

[yostresswritinggirl]

Genshin Boys would be Horrible as Disney Princes

Headcanon and Reader Perspective, Drabble

Sojourner Special (Followers Event)

Despite being the gentleman and sweethearts that they are, in the wrong hands, of badly aligned context and universal rules these boys can barely function as princes given their own ideals.

Diluc in Cinderella

Shortest one, oops.

Our Diluc would honestly be too busy for balls if we're doing this canonically, night time of all times. He's not your prince tonight, he's off somewhere doing Knight stuff...

If by chance you did catch him in the ball and he did indulge you with your dance until you escapaded at midnight, he's not gonna question it.

And since he didn't even REMEMBER your face, the next day just goes on as usual. No decree for searching the whole land for your foot or anything, it's just a normal day after a party.

"They left without a word, no name or promise, who am I to say no when they clearly don't want to stay?"

He's a gentleman. Too gentlemanly...

Childe in Sleeping Beauty

In this scenario, Childe embraces his knight-ness more than the princely aspect. I mean sure, he danced with you in the forest all so lovingly, sang along to your pretty lil voice. But when the prophecy came, his focus changed—

To the thrill of fighting a big ass green fire breathing dragon! Big woah, Childe had soooo much fun fighting it that he didn't even cheese it.

He lived for every hour of the fight and made it as slow as possible. Taunting, playing with his PREY- mid-fight the dragon would realize just how strong and horrifying Prince Childe is, but the entertainment had started, and the dance won't end until Childe wills it.

When he DID finally slay the damned thing, he'll come up to your quarters and stare at your sleeping body, and then think "Hey, if them being put under this spell gave me the fight of the century? What if ANOTHER dragon comes? That would be amazing!" No waking up for you, or the whole city for that matter.

Albedo in Frog Princess

You... You don't even get the chance to be the frog princess in here... simply because he himself REFUSES to change back to normal. You have never met a man so intelligent, much more a frog.

"I know of which you are not, I won't be fooled by cardboard crowns and secondhand dresses," you choke as he berates every fiber of your being, "It matters not, I still have much to learn about the life of an amphibian."

He disappears after that and you've never heard from him ever again, although at the back of your mind you're pretty sure he's a live and well, that bastard is too smart to end up as roadkill.

And well, you're right, he's out there in the world of frogs doing frog things. Triumphant over frog science and the other talking creatures he may meet.

He'll also find a way to revert himself back to normal, either making his own cure or just enlisting the help of a princess to bargain.

He might come to you upon the logic of marriage counting you as princess, but don't get too hyped, you won't be treated as his wife. He'd be too busy putting his frog research into paper...

Zhongli in Beauty and the Beast

A beast he may be, he's still dignified and elegant, upholding his end of the bargain so long as the other does the same.

Your father may have trespassed and have taken some flowers in his domain but well, really it's such a petty crime that can easily be solvable. And even if there needs to be punishment incured...

When you stumble to the mansion in search of your father, ready to take his place from his jail cell, you find him and the beast (ohh half-dragon Zhongles) by an elegant table drinking cups of tea with light conversation. Huh?

"There is no need to fret, your father and I are just discussing the terms of our contract. He spoke of his woodworks that I wish to commission in exchange, such good potential should not be wasted."

You can also, well, pay off things within contract? But either way, it would be hella awakward, he won't impose on your life and most certainly not about the curse when you had so much to live for.

Kaeya in Rapunzel

Little bitch, thru and thru. If Eugene is such a criminal, he's taking it TENFOLD.

He's not even gonna be the slightest bit trustworthy for you, little Rapunzel, because he raises so many red flags your frying pan wouldn't even be enough to threaten him. He probably has a really thick skull, and your resolve won't be able to smack that pretty face.

Bargaining won't work, he'd sleight of hand his way out and get the crown knowing you'd hid it in the pot immediately, and then just backflip outta there.

If you manage to get him to get you out, he's not gonna be of help either. Kaeya would be amused with toying with you, leaving you in the dark as you get scared shitless/dance around with some tavern criminals. Otherwise, ehh...

One way or another, he's gonna find a way to get you off his case. Either forcing you to travel with companions that's headed to the city anyways or forcefully knocking you out and heaving you back to your tower.

"You have a mother that never ages lock you up in this tower? Nu uh, sweetie, I'm not dealing with the dark forces of witchery when I'm already well off with the crown."

He got the crown.

Venti in Snow White

I'm sorry what? Free apples? Eternal sleep in a beautiful bed? He's gonna be glad to just take your place. (Spoilers, he would)

He'd be most definitely entertained with your dwarves, playing his tunes. You life would be filled with his lyre as he plays around, not even caring about the other implications of yours or his status in this woodland forest.

You ran away from home? Cool, freedom, man. Wish he could the same without jeopardizing the kingdom and his family. He'd probably take the apple too just for you~

During your rest, he'll come up with the most eloquent song to play for your seven dwarves as he watches your fate sadly. How peaceful you looked, away from the world and from the grips of death.

The dwarves would force him to please try and break the spell, and he'll shrug and indulge- except it didn't break the spell, as he expected it to be. And they are clueless on who else you had encountered in your life to even spare a true love's kiss.

"How saddening, the princess lays. Maddening to those around as they'd say, if only my kiss was enough for the curse to sway." You died, ouch.

Xiao in Mulan

Brutal. Brutal. Brutal. His voicelines would come in sooooo handy here, oh my goodness.

If you miraculously bypassed his analytical gaze enough to hide your sexuality, you're going to die in his training program. He's not gonna go easy on you, not when the fate of the nation lies upon your capability to keep up. You're gonna go through far worse than what true Mulan went through, and you may or may not just die in the process.

If by chance you survived, this would warrant enough respect to not kill you (oh, you lived) but you better not show up again.

He's never gonna be delighted to see your traitorous face again, he can save China on his own, thank you very much. And you know he can. Try and approach him, and a sword would be at your neck once again.

"Foolish gremlin, you think you had the right to present yourself after the treason you willfully committed? We won't crumble at the loss of one person, your job here is done." How sad.

Cyno in Little Mermaid

First of all, wack, mermaids exist! Sadly, that's nothing new for him. He knows a lot with that intelligent mind of his, so it would be no surprise that the existence of such mythical creatures doesn't make him bat an eyelash. He's been living near water, he's not that stupid.

With that in mind, your presence in your first meeting is going to be bad. Very bad. Cyno knows about sirens and he's not at all gonna fall for it, and if by chance he had known you before the ship was wrecked, he's probably gonna be veryyy keen in capturing you instead.

So if by chance you're stupid enough to interact with him and DESIRE to be on land with him, you're gonna deal with a lot of problems.

You're not getting that kiss easily. No, it's a huge challenge. He'd be repulsed in your naivety and will most likely be more concerned on your voice than ever. He'd be so kind to try and give a shot in helping with the cure but it's not the cure you needed.

He'll drown himself in every literature in full concentration just to see if there's any text he can find about curses and muteness. His curiousity would get the best of him, and you'll barely see him after you managed to explain your predicament without the need for words. Octopus woman doesn't even need to show up to intervene.

"A kiss? Surely not, such ailment won't be cured by fairytale methods." And then he goes back to his library once again. And you will be seafoam the next sunrise. Or was it sunset?

"So now that we've established these grounds," Exiled turns to the other two in the area, "Maybe, these boys would be better off as princesses."

And so the trio concocts a new type of fairytale, collaborated to masterpieces soon after.

@moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @struggljng @ellitx @kookieyachi @dandelion-dreams

[riversofmars]

I have a prompt. Thirteen's vain attempt to get that fez to Eleven because she runs into River+Amy.. who are like NOPE no way.

Ohh I love this so much, that was a lot of fun! I really hope you like this, just a bit of fun! <3

Rating: G

Word Count: 1300

Read on AO3 or below

Delayed Delivery

“I don't know about you but I’m glad that’s over.“ Yaz sighed once they had returned to the TARDIS. Their excursion to Kablam! had been quite something.

“Same,“ Ryan agreed and Graham nodded as well:

“Me too.“

“Not quite over yet.“ The Doctor grinned when she spotted the fez she had ordered, still sitting on top of the TARDIS console. “The fez!“ She skipped over to it and sat it on top of her head with incredible joy.

“Yeah I did wonder about that, why a fez?“ Yaz asked, as its origin remained a mystery.

“I ordered it,“ the Doctor declared, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You ordered a fez?“ Graham repeated, trying to figure out what in the world could have possibly possessed her to do so.

“Why?“ Ryan asked bewildered.

“Why does anyone order a fez? Because fezes are cool.“ The Doctor grinned and put her hands on her hips, holding her head - and the fez - high with pride.

“They’re really not…“ Yaz shook her head slowly, wondering how she could possibly have come to that conclusion.

“Only, this one arrived too late.“ The Doctor paid no heed to her comment, instead she went looking for the box and the shipping receipt to make sure her memory was correct. “Ah yes, see, I ordered it like… two lifetimes ago?“ She shrugged and looked back to her friends. “The wedding night of my best friends. Had little else to do, just sitting around the TARDIS while they were busy.“ She gestured quotation marks in the air and grimaced. “I should probably drop it off with my past self, that would have made me so happy.“ She placed the box on the console, took the fez off, quite reluctantly too, and placed it back in the box. She almost took it back out again, thinking better of it, but she managed to stop herself and quickly closed the box to resist the temptation.

“If you had… wouldn’t you remember it?“ Yaz frowned.

“Nah, memories blur when I cross my own time stream.“ The Doctor shrugged.

“Aren’t there like… rules against that sort of thing?“ Ryan asked and they all gathered around the console as the Doctor was beginning to set coordinates.

“All we’re doing is dropping off a fez, won’t even need to interact, just got to find a good time where I know where I am and that I won’t run into any trouble… here we go.“ Content with her choice, the Doctor grinned and launched the TARDIS into the time vortex. It only took a moment for them to land again.

“Where are we?“ Graham asked as the Doctor marched to the door, full of purpose, box in hand.

“Moon made of actual honey. Part of the honeymoon tour. Get it honey… moon…?“ She awaited a reaction to her pun but no-one responded. “Never mind,“ she huffed and opened the door. The Fam followed her and as advertised, they found themselves on a yellow moon, surrounded by little else than beeswax and honey. The landscape was magnificent and the vegetation extraordinary. No words appeared adequate to describe the wondrous place.

“Wow…“ All three of them were at a loss for words as they looked around, it certainly appeared a magnificent honeymoon destination. The air was impossible sweet and warm and there was a humming and buzzing in the air originating from the native bee population.

While the Fam were in awe, the Doctor skipped ahead and found the other TARDIS, her TARDIS but much older, just over a ridge.

“There we go…“ she called the Fam who hurried after her. “See, all we need to do is put this box here and…“

“Don’t move,“ a sharp voice interrupted her. “What are you doing over there?“

“Probably setting down a bomb, who are you?“ Another voice added and the Doctor grinned to herself before turning around, she knew both these voices very well indeed.

“River!“ The Doctor turned to look at her wife who - of course - was pointing a gun at her. “Amy!“ Her mother was right next to her, crossing her arms in front of her chest, with an almighty and very Scottish scowl.

“How do you…?“ Amy’s face fell upon hearing both their names and River raised her eyebrows curiously.

“Who are they, Doctor?“ Yaz asked, a little worried at the presence of a gun and the fact that the Doctor didn’t seem bothered about it at all. In fact she was grinning!

“Oh just… my wife and my mother-in-law…“ She answered joyfully.

“What?“ Amy stared at her for a moment, trying to compute the information.

“Doctor?“ River echoed and as the realisation set in, a wide grin spread across her features, mirroring her wife’s expression.

“Oh no…“ Amy groaned.

“Oh yes!“ River smirked as she put her gun away.

“Hang on, you’re married?“ Graham interrupted, flabbergasted, as were Yaz and Ryan.

“Oh most definitely.“ River grinned and was by her wife’s side in an instant, she grabbed her by the collar and kissed her with great enthusiasm. Amy, for her part, just gave an exaggerated sigh, looking anywhere but to her daughter making out with her wife.

“Okay, I sort of expected this to be the other way around…“ Ryan hummed to Yaz and Graham who nodded.

“What are you doing here, Doctor?“ Amy asked, clearing her throat loudly to interrupt them.

“Oh just… wanted to drop something off… for myself… am I around?“ The Doctor gave an awkward grin, trying not to draw too much attention to the box, as she half hid it behind her back.

“Rory fell in the honey lake and the Doctor is defending him against the bees, we were popping back for a change of clothes.“ Amy explained, rolling her eyes at her husband’s clumsiness.

“Oh I remember this!“ Her explanation jogged the Doctor’s memory.

“Do you get your fez at the end of it?“ Yaz asked curiously and the Doctor winced. She had ruined it.

“Don’t tell me…“ Amy sighed, exasperated.

“What’s in the box, Sweetie?“ River asked, trying to snatch the box away but the Doctor pulled away quickly.

“Nothing…“ She retorted, hugging it protectively.

“Doctor?“ Amy crossed her arms in front of her chest and the Doctor found herself cornered by the two women, she bumped into the TARDIS behind her, having nowhere to go.

“Oh come on, please, I’ve had to wait for this for millennia, that’s how long delivery took, let me have this,“ she pleaded.

“Let’s see if it’s any better on you now than it was then,“ River suggested with a playful smirk.

“River?“ Amy shot her daughter a look as if she couldn’t believe she had really just suggested that.

“Come on, just let us see,“ River repeated and a grin spread across the Doctor’s face. She opened the box, pulled the fez out and sat it on top of her head.

“Look, it’s great, it’s red and hey-!“ Before she could even properly showcase the hat, Amy had snatched it off of her head and chucked it into the air. River’s reflexes were sharp as ever as she drew her gun and shot it. The fez exploded mid-air in a laser blast.

“That was incredible,“ Ryan exclaimed and shaking their heads in disbelief, Graham and Yaz had to agree.

“Yeah, well, we have the practice,“ River smirked, holstering her gun and before she pressed a kiss to her wife’s cheek. The Doctor was thoroughly put out as she was left holding the empty box.

“I’m gonna order another one…“ She huffed, somewhat genuinely upset.

“Hey! OI! What’s going on over there?“ A voice carried across the plain. The Doctor, much younger, taller and bow-tied, was waving at them with Rory in tow.

“NOTHING!“ River and Amy called back, laughing, sharing a high five, as the blonde Doctor was left, huffing, and holding her empty box with great disappointment.

[zephyr-thedragon]

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH ITS KAIDER WEEK, I was so hyped for all of August but then school started and all my energy just went right out the window jhfgjg. But I am so excited to share this duet with you all-

CINDER X KAI (AUGUST 23-AUGUST 29) TLC ship weeks 2021 (ALL PROMPTS)

SO- The reason this is coming before the wolflet duet is because I already had like half of this song written about a month ago and all I needed to do was finish it, but the wolflet duet is still coming I promise. So this song takes place when Cinder and Kai are still on the Rampion in between Cress and Winter. Kai is about to go back to Earth and they both acknowledge the fact that they need to get their plan moving and in order to do that he needs to leave and all of that good angsty stuff. I'm pretty sure I included all of the prompts for this week? Besides maybe change the universe? But I realllyyyy love this song and it's my favorite that I've written for TLC so far, tysm for reading!!!! I hope you all enjoy <333

So the system for reading this one is pretty self-explanatory hrghjf, there aren't any overlapping lines or anything and you can use the same four chords throughout the whole song, but feel free to improvise and just sort do whatever! I had a lot of fun just playing round with different chords and tunes so- yeah :) just have fun!

In Another Life - Cinder and Kai

An original Kaider duet

(Piano chords at the bottom cause they're kind of complicated fjgh)

‎

‎

[Kai] - Verse 1

The journey of us is unrelenting

Cause we can’t see past the world ending

‎

But I hope on the other side it’s a

Little less expending‎

‎

[Cinder]

Don’t know if I can live this way much longer

But you’ve always made me stronger

‎

[Both]

If we just wait it out we’ll conquer

The world and start avenging

‎

[Cinder]

I try

To be the person that you want

‎

[Kai]

I try

To do my best but I can’t when I’m gone

‎

[Both]

I wish

We could see past all the flaws, and the wrongs, and the cracks in the walls

‎

[Kai]

But if it's not too much to ask

Would you mind joining me in the past

In my daydreams, my nightmares

My fantasies and fatal scares,

[Both]

If we could pretend for the night

‎

[Both] - Chorus

In another life

We could’ve been fighting off crime

The modern Bonnie and Clyde

We could’ve been rulers of the divine

An Imperial husband and wife

‎

We could’ve left this curse behind

We could’ve been intertwined

By fate

And destiny

‎

[Cinder]

But instead, I take flight

With the wings you gave me

And the promises you made

[Both]

In hopes that someday

‎

We can live that way

As if in another life

In another life

‎

(Life, Life)

(Ohh, Ohh)

(Life, Life)

(Ohh, Ohh)

‎

[Cinder] - Verse 2

The journey of us has barely taken shape

But I can’t escape

The metal walls around me

‎

[Kai]

I like it up here in space

Its an oasis

From the chaos on the ground but I feel like I’m

Suffocating

‎

[Cinder]

The world can’t wait much longer

‎

[Kai]

I need to leave but I love her

‎

[Both]

There's no stopping this black hole

Forming in between us and our end goal

‎

I know

You know

That it’s time to let it go

‎

But I can’t leave you

I can’t wait to see you

(Pause)

Again

‎‎

[Both] - Chorus

In another life

We could’ve been fighting off crime

The modern Bonnie and Clyde

We could’ve been rulers of the divine

An Imperial husband and wife

‎

We could’ve left this curse behind

We could’ve been intertwined

By fate

And destiny

‎

But instead, I take flight

With the wings you gave me

And the promises you made

In hopes that someday

‎

We can live that way

As if in another life

In another life

‎

‎[Cinder] - Bridge(?)

With time comes change

There’s no more waiting

I hate to listen

To what they’re saying

‎

I’m afraid

The game we’re playing

Will fracture the bond

We’ve spent so much maintaining

‎

[Kai]

When I’m away

I won’t be very far

Just sit in silence

And listen to your heart

‎

And find a way

To ignite that spark

And remember the mountains we’ve climbed so far

We’ve climbed so far

‎

‎[Kai] - Pre-Chorus/Build up

In another life

I’d be wherever you are

‎

[Cinder]

In another life

It wouldn’t be this bizarre

‎

In another life, I’d choose not to be a star

‎

[Kai]

In another life, I could live without this scar

‎‎

[Both] - Chorus

In another life

In another life

In another life

‎

We could’ve been fighting off crime

The modern Bonnie and Clyde

We could’ve been rulers of the divine

An Imperial husband and wife

‎

We could’ve left this curse behind

We could’ve been intertwined

By fate

And destiny

‎

But instead, I take flight

With the wings you gave me

And the promises you made

In hopes that someday

‎

We can live that way

As if in another life

In another life

‎

(Life, Life)

(Ohh, Ohh)

(Life, Life)

(Ohh)

In another life

(Life, Life)

(Ohh, Ohh)

(Life, Life)

(Ohh)

(Fade out)

===========================

‎

‎Piano Chords:

ok so for the first chord, I have yet to find a name for it but basically it's Fsus4 but put your third finger on the D key instead of the C key it should look like this:

And then it's just F major, Dm, C major :)

okay thats all, if you made it to the end hiiiiii!!! I hope you enjoyed thank you for reading!

tag list: @sexy-dumpster-fire @cerenoya @just2bubbly@nightmare-not-neophyte @gingerale2017 @winterrhayle @salt-warrior @cindersassasin @cinderswrench @shelbylmkaider @razzmooncake @greasicookies @healing-winston-pratt @f-r-o-p @miss-casually-cruel @of-stars-and-ships @strawberry-seraph @thestarryeyedsapphic @genyasafingf @starry-tea-party @im-just-your-problem @novannna @sapphiccitra