#ok i need a break for my eyes and then im gonna try to write the platonic one more

[coridallasmultipass]

Personal vent and ugly mental illness symptom talk

So, I should unpack this with my therapist, but shit's embarrassing, so I'm just gonna vent it out on the public internet lmao.

I was typing out a whole thing about how I KNOW I'm aromantic, and despite that, still have moments where my brain gaslights me into believing I'm in fairytale love.

I should preface by saying I have not officially been diagnosed with either additional mental illnesses I believe that I have (B.P//D and AD//HD [which lol being on AD//HD meds since antidepressants didn't do anything has given me some notable improvement, but I'm still without a diagnosis], nor Au//tism) DESPITE repeatedly asking multiple therapists multiple times and a psych like 100 times to give me a definitive yes or a no.

But holy shit. So I'm typing about how I've 'Favourite Person'-ed multiple people at multiple points in my life across all ages, and I'm like, okay, it's been a hot minute since I refreshed my definition of that, I should make sure that's still a thing and not something I just made up or has been dropped from the symptoms or whatever the case. I wanna make sure I'm using it right in this rant about how falling into Favourite Personing people in the past has made me believe 'wait, maybe I'm not aro, this HAS to be like the deepest truest love in existence, despite my years of knowing I'm aro.' Like, I'm so aro I once calculated out the date, months in advance, I was gonna tell someone I was dating that I loved them, only because it seemed like a socially acceptable amount of time to say it. I wasn't thinking about what I actually felt lmao. (And that was probably not a FP relationship, too, so I know that was absolutely an aro incident.)

Anyways, so I'm reading a couple articles to make sure I articulate my points about how it's conflicted with being aro, and I read about how people falling into having a FP will even hate that person for the slightest perceived wrongs. (I knew this, I just was thinking about the love incidents since that's what was related to my point about being aro.)

And holy shit. That just. Unlocked a memory I have about when I was an older kid, like probably 9ish (and older), I HATED my best friend of many years and who would continue being my bff for more years. Who was my everything. I couldn't stop thinking about how much I hated them. I would lie awake at night (insomnia too tho) thinking about how much I hated them and I couldn't understand why I didn't just stop being their friend and start hanging out with old friends more instead. I just couldn't do it, I wanted to hang out with THEM. I was so sick and feeling jealous of them whenever I found out they'd been hanging out with someone else one-on-one and I wasn't invited. Even when it was their own family. One time they brought me a plate of cookies by surprise for (before) a holiday that they'd just made with their cousin or something. And I felt so sick about how I wasn't there for that, it felt like an insult. I couldn't have put this into words, unless I just now read that point in an article and made a connection. It was so confusing, because usually the people who hated their 'best friend' was like, the mean girl kinda character who intentionally does it to hurt the innocent main character or something, but I was the one who felt wronged every time those feelings would come up. And this wasn't just a 'man it's so annoying when they do this specific thing.' This was active stewing, in a slow cooker, all day and all night kinda thing.

I was never romantically or sexually attracted to that person, but I probably wrote all this off as either unrelated sexuality or gender bullshit when I figured that out later. But knowing now that there was definitely someone (actually, I'm thinking of WAY more people as I'm typing this, and just realized why I stopped loving a band and started hating them 'for no reason' wow lmao) that I FP'ed who I definitely WASN'T attracted to, suddenly convinces me that I was probably right in suspecting B.P//D. (Or, y'know, maybe I don't have that specifically, and it's the symptom from a different facet of mental illness or whatever.) I've been so hung up over how I'm aro, sometimes ace, and then this 'only' happens towards people I am attracted to. Like, 'maybe it was love and I'm just terrible at it.' (No! It's not! Aro is correct! That's just the brain manipulating me to get another hit of dopamine off a FP! It's just easier to happen to someone I'm attracted to!)

It's no fucking wonder why I always worried about people hating me in secret, and it's because I was absolutely making myself insufferable because of that worry. I know for a fact that some people definitely did hate (or. Lmao. Shut up. Like, 'resented' maybe fits better) me for demanding constant attention that was never reciprocated by anyone I've ever met in my entire life.

I probably wrote-off so many symptoms as 'I was a moody teen and kind of an asshole.' Except it happened before and after I was a teen, too. I would have excused everything that happened during and before high school, when I should have been looking for these patterns I kept following for years after. It doesn't help that my first relationship was wildly toxic (mostly against me in this one case), and while I didn't feel particularly bothered by it after I got over the nightmare breakup, I just kept going 'What if it was the sole cause of all of this and I'm just repressing that?' Well, phew! No, it's not, that was thankfully just a toxic embarrassment, and not the source of all my problems. I was already on the shitstorm trajectory. That's a major relief. If you can call it that. I really don't like discussing that one, but not in a trauma way, more like a, you don't really wanna discuss pissing your pants on accident kinda way. Unpleasant to remember, wildly embarrassing to talk about, but ultimately not a life-altering event.

Ughhhhh. Maybe I should bring this (the mental illness not the relationship) up to the therapist. But like, I haven't been close friends with anyone in like 6 years or so, so I don't have any current or even recent examples about how being in friendships has always turned out Russian Roulette for me. My therapist doesn't seem to believe how bad it was for me to be in friendships where I was unintentionally FP'ing someone. Because besides the depression and anxiety (and mild OCD), I'm a totally normal person to her who's just dealing with shit health problems and grief (and frustration from being trans and not in a safe place to transition). Y'know, normal life problems most people will feel at some point, just chronic in my case. I may be weird, but I'm obviously far from the worst she's seen. I'm not uniquely mentally ill.

((Except the whole 'treatment resistant depression' diagnosis bullshit from the psych, but I'm learning it's not just mental issues I have that are treatment resistant lol.))

I tried talking to her about a small part of all this before, but IDK what I did wrong, she took it 100% as me being the one unintentionally wronged and not setting MY own boundaries (lmao), so like I don't know how to word this in a way she'd understand that most of my problems in this area were my own fault. (I mean that both negatively and neutrally, because it's an ugly side of mental illness, but not one I chose or know how to help.)

Not being in close friendships with anyone has had an understandably sane-ifying effect on me (barring the, y'know, depression/anxiety/OCD and baseline weirdness), which has gotten me trapped for the 5th time in 6 years of making my therapists believe I'm better off than I actually am. (I've done this to every therapist I've ever had before that, too.) But like, again, at least for the past 3 therapists and the latest psych, I AM actually better for not having close friends lmao. Only one therapist ever had one visit of me wanting to address these concerns specifically while they were currently active, and by the next visit, we had to shift exclusively to sudden new grief lol. (What a shitshow. It somehow always ends up that whenever I wanna treat an illness, it's like opening a can of worms, except the worms are firecrackers and I didn't set the can down and step back a few feet.)

Like, it obviously feels safer to not have close friends at all because there's no fear of abandonment if I have no one to begin with. And, genuinely, I operate better when I'm alone. But now that I've known safety, it's hard to imagine throwing myself back into the roulette wheel, hoping I don't land on red OR black. But fuck, man. It is lonely.

And being aro? It's freeing, and validating too, to have a word for it, but I'm not gonna mince words here, I hate it. I wish I could feel romantic love. Like normal, not mentally ill ""love."" I feel platonic love all the time, like for friends (not FP) always. I love saying 'I love you' to friends and meaning it. But I want to feel romantic love. I just don't. I just feel friendship, Favoriting, and/or sexual attraction sometimes. Probably why I'm so into shipping and fanfics. I got a lot more "probably why's" but I don't wanna go down that in this already vulnerable post lol. (I already made a whole post about one of the why's back in like 2013 or 14 lmao, without connecting it to this.)

Anyway, I put this whole mental illness and relationships deal into ugly imagery in a current fic WIP I'm working on, since recognizing I was aro took living through FP'ing a few 'romantic' relationships, before I even first heard the term FP. I only saw my experiences as 'I don't think I've been experiencing love' and that by itself felt like it fit. I didn't realize there was anything wrong, even as I outwardly said shit like 'I don't think I'm fit for being in a relationship' to the few people who asked me out, even when I wanted to say yes.

And then I kept trying to make relationships work lmao. I don't know why I even bothered. I just wanted to be wrong about being aro, especially when it was a point of contention (aro and ace separately) with some of the relationships.

I'd probably have to meet another aro person of the exact same flavour of aromanticism to make it work, but even then the mental illness would just be a ticking time bomb. No one wants to be the recipient of FP 'affection', except maybe sometimes the fictional people in a certain fiction trope that winds up being fetishistic, even if it's not intended to insult real people (but sometimes it is). And it's just a reminder of how I was probably a big source of toxicity for probably half the people who have ever been close with me, if it's even half of how fiction portrays people with this symptom.

I dunno where I wanted to end this vent, so here's probably a good place. Just wanted to get this off my chest, because it just now felt like a pretty big revelation that my problems weren't related to romanticism, I've had purely platonic instances of this dating back to being an older kid, and more during high school, and I just never connected the two before now.

[miruac]

dating tenya iida headcanons - part two

masterlist

navigation

1 | 3

warnings: not proofread, extremely self indulgent, reader has a little bit of anxiety and theyre a lil insecure

a/n: listened to chappell roan while writing this. casual came on again and i imagined iida to it and i got sad so here u guys go

last time we were here it was a couple weeks when you two came back from your date

he got you that gift basket of things you eyed while window shopping, and your heart soard

this man loves to see you happy

as of now, it had been two months since your date, and you guys haven't gone out yet due to midterm exams coming up

but you've been setting for group study sessions with your classmates, in the dorm lounge

everyone's going insane and they're all pretty serious about studying

especially iida, he doesn't glance up at you much or now since his nose is always deep into his notes

he didn't realize but you felt a little distant, and a little scared that his feelings for you went away

you got up from your spot beside him and went back up to your room, to try and get some space

he didn't realize you were gone until his hand swung down and tried to hold yours

after asking around he found out you went up to your room to 'rest up'

he knocked on the door anad called for you, and you opened the door just a tiny crack

he was worried, and asked if he did something wrong

after you told him, he nodded and looked so upset with himself

"thank you for telling me, i'm sorry i made you feel like that. but rest assured, i still harbour deep affection for you. we may be busy now, but i will try my best to keep up with you."

IM SOBBING I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

the next day when you're heading down to your study sesh, he's waiting for you with a smile and blush on his face

his hand hovers over yours. and he's slightly shaking

you grip onto his, and you two are being all gross and cute while engaging in minimal pda(he approves this one time)

guys i dunno why i'm thinking of so many sad headcanons help

when youre sad or upset, he'll hold your hand or hold you in his arms

if youre crying or don't want to talk about it, he'll wait until you're ready

he won't push you, he just wants to mkae sure you know that he's there for you to fall back on

he does the thing where he's looking into your eyes as he caresses your cheek while wiping away your tears with his thumb(IM PHYSICALLY SICK. IM GOING TO BARF I NEED TO BE IN HIS ARMS)

he's so patient with you :(((

ok im done i dont wanna cry anymore

he always tries to cheer you up by telling you a funny story, or by reassurement. it depends on what you need

OK IM DONE IM DONE BACK TO HAPPINESS

now that exams are done, summer break is here!!!

majority of class 1-a went home for break, including you and iida

you two frequently messaged the other, until you came back to the dorms with a couple weeks left of the break

you didnt know but while he was home he bought a couple of souvenirs for you, HE GOT YOU A LITTLE BLUE BEAR WITH GLASSES THAT LOOKED LIKE HIM

as a celebratory 'summer's almost over' event, the class had a little dinner party

varied from bakugous murderous attempt of trying to get everyone to eat sichuan chili hotpot to satos sweet desserts

after the dinner, the class went outside to take a little breather(and to light some sparklers and play around with some fireworks WHICH THEY WERE SUPERVISED BY AIZAWA AND ALL MIGHT)

when everyone went in, you stayed outside for a little longer to look up at the pretty moon and stars

iida saw you from the window, and went outside to try

he was worried you'd get cold

like he had never seen your eyes sparkle like that, the way how all your features reflected upon the moonlight

this boy's heart did FLIPS LIKE CONTINUOUS 360S EVERYWHEREE

his face was so red stop hes so cute

he could not stop staring until you asked him what was up

"can i... kiss you.....?"

"what's with the informal speech all of a sudden?"

"apologies, may i kiss you?"

"yes, yes you may."

IM GONNA CRYYY HES SO CUTE

obvi he hasnt had his first kiss so when you guys did kiss he froze up and his hands literally hovered over you because he didn't know where to put them and if you were okay with it

after like ten seconds you both pulled away and LORD his face was REDDD

he had an awkward smile on his face AGHGHGHGHGHGHG I LOVE AWKWARD NERDSS

after composing himself he ushered you back inside in fear that you'll catch a cold

but when he got back to his dorm that night, he looked at himself in the mirror and smiled so triumphantly

he still felt your lips on his, and maybe he realized he wanted to feel them more often

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2nd a/n: hi guys!!!! part one got a lot of love which made me really happy, its so hard being an iida lover but you guys make it worth it <33 i also got a couple of dishes stuck together when i was washing them earlier and my parents got mad at me so this i decided to work on this to let out my anger AND HEY IT WORKED ok idk what im saying | fun fact i was listening to casual by chappell roan when i was writing the sad n sorta angsty part of this headcanon, because iida would NEVER partake in casual activity(i did a rant about this earlier im done ok goodbye) anyways THAT CONCLUDES MY RANT send me a plunger emoji if you guys got this far(in honor of the fallen dishes)

[bluewhitehues]

"An I love you card."

(Yes another HUG series drabble, sue me for missing them. They are my home😭)

Idol Kim Mingyu× F.reader

Genre/tags :fluff,comfort,Established relationship.

Summary: Reader just misses her lover so much. + mingyu buys an apartment so that he can finally ask you to live together with him.

(My brain isn't functioning a lot lately so idk about the summary,just read the fic you will understand, ok bye cuties🏃‍♀️‍➡️😭)

Masterlist

~

You: Lover...I'm breaking up with you if you don't come and give me my hugs till tonight.

Gyu❤️: Baby hello to you too and wtf you scared the shit out of me why'd you start your text like that😭..I'm coming okay wait for me

You: you better if you want me in your life👍🏻

Gyu❤️: stop scaring me ...don't you love me anymore? 🥺🥺

You: WHY ELSE DO YOU THINK IM DYING TO SEE YOU IF I DIDN'T LOVE YOU

Gyu❤️: OKAY OKAY MY BAD BABY I GOT IT IM COMING I MISS YOU SO MUCH TOO

You: yeah and on a serious note love I'm not trying to make you feel bad about this I understand that you have work ..it's just I want to see you and hold you ..I miss you 🥺🤐

Gyu❤️: I Know love I know ..do you need something to eat should I get you something?

You: You.. I'm gonna eat your cheeks and lips off

Gyu❤️: oh god babe you've lost it ..is this what the lack of me does to you?

You: It does..it's a serious issue you dont understand

Gyu❤️: okay sweets gotta go I'll be there till 9-10pm may be ..rest till then ok?bye love you mwahhhh

You: yes can't wait to see you love you too❤️

Currently it's 5PM of your day off and you're about to cry because you miss your lover. Honestly it hasn't been that long since you met him. You saw each other nearly 24 hours back. But those meetings has been like just some fleeting moments. And you can't help but miss him from deep within. Your week has been exhausting too and he cures literally everything for you.

It's still 4-5 hours till you can see him. You're not even sleepy anymore you already took a nap. So you just decide to do some self care. You put a sheet mask on your face. (And make a silly face with a pout for the selfie and send it to mingyu. Like Ofcourse.) You even do your nails. Then you get a silly idea to make a greeting card for him with a letter may be. You excitedly take a white paper and few colours, pencils,pens everything.

You draw a cute panda holding a heart. And write 'An I love you card' below it.

And put a cute letter inside it.

After that you eat dinner and wait for him.

You hear the keys rustling and know it's him. You've already done a lot of waiting so you go almost running to the door, your heart beating fast. He comes inside locking the door, when he turns around you're there already running to him, crashing into his arms. He let's out a surprised chuckle wrapping his arms around you.

"Hey there, looks like you missed me a little too much huh" He said closing his eyes feeling you in his arms, your warmth invading his chest and to whole body and his to yours. That's the most beautiful feeling and the very reason why you crave it so much.

You hum in the hug, clutching him tightly.

"I did and I'm not going to let you go now."

Then you look up and he sees your face and eyes, it looks like you're about to cry. Eyes teary while looking up at him and a small pout. He coos at you, instantly holding your face in his hands. "Aww my baby, what happened I'm here now aren't I hmm" He says wiping the corners of your eyes.

You lean into his touch. "I don't know..you made me cry." You pout harder and he leans down to peck your pout. Once, twice. "Don't say that.. what did I do?" He asks pouting back.

You look everywhere moving your eyes as if thinking of something to say. "You were just saying anything,weren't you?" He giggles now that he has figured you out. Squishing your face in adoration. His eyes crinkling as he smiles wide.

You nod,letting out a laugh. "Yeah you know me."

"Mhm thought so." He says then picking you up. He walks to the couch in living room,flopping down on it with you in his lap.

"You sure everything's ok baby?" He asks kissing your head.

"Yeah just...missed you so much." You whisper in his neck,where your face is buried. He rubs your back soothingly. You pull back from the hug to look at him.

"Did you eat?" You ask tracing his face with your fingers. "Mhm I did with the guys." He says sighing into your touch. Placing his forehead on your shoulder. You caress his hair, hugging him tighter and kissing his temple, then ear and then neck. He tilts his head towards your neck and places sweet pecks on your neck too. You pull back making him look up at you, you put your forehead on his saying "kiss me."

And he smiles, complying to you without wasting a single second. He kisses you and you feel home again. He squeezes you to himself hugging you tighter so you know he missed you just as much. You share a few sweet kisses and then pull back.

"You know how bored I was ...I spent the whole day alone." You tell him.

"I wish I had a day off too baby, I'd have loved to spend my whole day with you." He says pouting a little, tucking your hair strand behind your ear.

"It's okay you're here now" You say giving him a smile and a peck at his nose. He scrunches it cutely with a chuckle.

" Oh wait !! I've something for you." You say suddenly remembering something. Your eyes a little wide with excitement. You get up so fast from his lap. You pick up the card from table and hand it over to him.

He takes it, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion but a smile on his face.

"An I love you card" He reads and looks up to you with a bright smile. "Oh my god babe you're so fucking cuteeee ahh" he says laughing while pulling you closer by your waist,so you're standing in front of him.

"You've to open it " You let out a giggle urging him to open it.

'There are so many shitty people in the world but I Met you..I have you..how did I get you? You're so lovable you know? And I love you for who you are. So kind,loving,caring. You keep calling me angel but you are the real angel. Thank you for coming into my life. I love you so much. I'm writing this because you need to know this and also because I fucking miss you right now. Ok bye don't make fun of me after this.' ~only yours,y/n.

You see all of his expressions with each word,with each line he reads, he melts a little more. h

He tries to control his smile. He looks up at you with tearful eyes. Grabbing your hand he pulls you closer. "How are you so cute baby." He sighs caressing your hands, "How did you get me you say..?.. But how did I get you?" "You're so precious you know that ? It's not even my birthday or anything special, it's just a random day and you're here making me feel so loved." He's looking up at you with so much love in his eyes with a sweet grin on his face, which you love so much.

You chuckle combing your fingers through his slightly long hair. "Baby, it's just me saying I love you in a silly way,it's nothing special.it's just a card."

"Well it is special to me." He says pulling you on his lap again. "And I'm going to cherish it forever, I'll keep it safe with me...thank you." "And I love you too by the way." He says grinning wide,giving you a peck on the lips.

"And I was going to do something special to tell you this or may be I should have asked you before doing this but.." He sighs.." I don't know I just love you so much and I want you to know, I want you with me always. So.." He takes a breath to prepare himself. He fishes out keys from his pocket. "I've been carrying these around since a week." He chuckles nervously, while your heart is beating fast.

"I know I should have probably asked you before doing this, but I just ..I wanted to do it for us ...so ..I bought an apartment for us . It's registered under both of our names."

You gasp "gyuu-" your eyes wide.

"I-I know baby ..it's a big step but ...will you move in with me baby?" He asks finally. "You know that I want a future with you right? For me You're my one and only." He says clutching your hands in his.

You finally let out a sob mixed with a watery laugh. Nodding furiously you say "You're my one and only too gyu. Shit I didn't know you'd do something like this ..but I've thought about this almost daily, when I want you to hold me to sleep. When I want to see you as soon as I open my eyes in the morning. Fuck you don't know how much I miss you when we can't meet or whenever I have to sleep alone." You sniffle and he's wiping your tears, nodding along with whatever you're saying.

"It's a little scary but I trust you with my whole life, so yes I'd very much love to move in with you."

His puppy eyes slowly get bigger in size as he gets happy "Really? Oh my god...I love youuu" He says getting up with you, spinning you.

"Oh my god you're going to make us fall..slow down." You laugh as his giggles fill the room. He stops putting you down on the ground.

"Is tomorrow ok with you? I want to show you the place first then we can decide the rest." He asks. "Yes." You say becoming a blushing mess making him coo at you.

a/n: idk if this is any good but i wrote this in June, finally finished it. Also im sorry for making you wait for 'I hate you not' series.it's also halfway done but it'll take a lot of time for me to actually post it. I'm more into reading than writing these days so please feel free to suggest me some good fics. Thank you for reading this. Hope y'all are having a nice day 🥹🫶

[furuyalover]

taking care of him at a party

— ft. atsumu miya

AN: just a lil sum while i work my music event drabbles 🤍 also this was soo fun to write so pls request any other characters i should do this for !

your roommate was throwing a party in your shared house, and it was fun at first. however your social battery was running kind of low, and you felt like taking a break anyways. “hey im a little beat, but if you need anything i’ll be in my room” you tell your friend and then you make your way to your room.

you lie down on your bed, and decide to maybe take a small nap to help you feel better. but not even 15 minutes into your nap you hear a soft knock on your door. “come in” you groan, as you readjust yourself so that you can sit up and see whoever’s at your door, expecting your roommate needing assistance with something for the party. but to your surprise, your greeting by three familiar faces, one being a very drunk atsumu miya.

being practically held him by his twin brother and good friend suna, the former embarrassingly says “y/n im so sorry for barging in, but is it ok if we let atsumu take a break here? every other room was occupied and your roommate told us to try here” atsumu was smashed, you could tell that he was shitfaced and it was more like osamu & suna who needed the break.

“what? ok sure yeah whatever. just lay him down over there i guess.” too tired to really even refute their request, you instruct the two to carry their drunken friend on the side of your bed opposite of you. this is where you decide it’s probably time for you to turn in for the night.

you leave atsumu to rest on your bed, and head into your bathroom to change, shower, and what not to get ready for bed. by the time you’re done you chuckle to yourself when you see atsumu is still knocked out on your bed. admittedly, you found it kind of cute to see him like this. peacefully asleep, in his natural state, a change of pace from his usual loud and brash personality, it didn’t help that he was in your bed as well. after placing a glass of water and some tylenol and advil on the nightstand next to him, you sit on your side of your bed and start mindlessly scrolling on your phone.

you text your roommate, updating them on the wild situation you found yourself in. “y/n are u fr rn? this is like the perfect chance for u to confess to him hello??” a smile forms on your face after reading that text, “bro what hell no. that’s so awkward 😭” “ur trippin, worst case scenario u can tell him u we’re js drunk” rolling your eyes at that suggestion, you exit your texts and go back to your scrolling.

a few minutes go by and you feel atsumu shifting in your bed, followed by a slight groan. “oh god where am i” he groans as he rolls over, rubbing his eyes, to face this mysterious figure sat beside him.

“well you’re not downstairs getting shitfaced that’s for sure” you snark with a small chuckle, slightly admiring how cute he looks with his messy hair and flushed face. “oh shit! y/n! is this your room? oh my god did we..?” amused by his slight panic you reassured him that nothing happened, “no no don’t worry, you were absolutely plastered so suna and your brother dropped you off here so you could rest. there’s some tylenol next to you, you should really take some”

she’s such an angel wow, he thought to himself as he took the pain relievers you so kindly prepared for him. “god those assholes, sorry you had to deal with that” he quietly, almost embarrassingly apologizes. giggling at his annoyance you assure him it’s fine and that it’s not a big deal. but then the gears start turning in your head a bit, as you start to develop a lil plan to semi-confess to him.

“the party isn’t probably gonna end for another few hours, so if you want you can just crash here if you want. i can just sleep on the couch or something” almost immediately, a grin plasters on atsumus face, and his usually cocky self is back just like that. “i mean that’s rather rude ya know? i wouldn’t want such an angel who had to take care of a drunken asshole to sleep on the couch. you should probably just sleep in your own bed” he grins as he runs his hands through his messy blonde hair, this bitch knows exactly what he’s doing, you think to yourself.

despite a very obvious blush creeping up on your face you respond, “yeah well i’d feel bad if you had to stay on the couch” scoffing, faking offense to your comment “who said anything about me on the couch? plus i heard cuddling is good for hangovers.” OH HOW I HATE HIM. rolling your eyes you playfully act annoyed, but you couldn’t be any happier

“hm well i always wanted to cuddle with that dumbass from the volleyball team who i have a crush on” you retort with a light laugh. now it’s his turn to blush, already flushed from the alcohol he is now redder than before. “when exactly were you planning on tellling this handsome and talented dumbass?” despite the confident demeanor he was definitely screaming on the inside.

“i figured now would be a good time, but who said anything about handsome and talented.” you reply as you side eye him, but he just can’t help but smile right at you. “so we’re definitely cuddling right?” he asks with a heartful, genuine smile. not being able to deny this lover boy’s smile or even him in general, i mean you’ve liked him for months now, you roll your eyes and respond “ok fine i guess whatever, but find some clothes to change into and take a shower” you laugh as you playfully hit him on his shoulder.

“on it.” he gets up heading downstairs to see if any of his friends have extra clothes they can get him, and to of course tell them about his crush on you. “shit finally, it’s about time you told her you liked her, osamu you owe me $10 and some food” “ok fine suna whatever, but you owe me $5 since he did it while he was drunk.” yes these mfs placed bets on you guys confessing to each other.

reblogs appreciated and admired ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

[burntb4bydoll]

Pookie boo my love ~ that last Bill smut was spicyyy I loved it ♡ Do you think you could write something opposite to it? By this I mean, Bill and the reader, both being switches ofc, fighting for dominance. There’s just that hunger for one another and they each want to do anything they please with the other <<33

Mwahmwah have a great day bby ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

Hiii cutie pieee😇 ofc I cam write this🤭🤭

Switch!Bill Kaulitz x Switch!femreader

Warnings: choking, hair pulling, a little degradation, praising, both lf you are being brats, Bill is a mocking asshole but its hot so its fine

Bill was towering over you while you sat on the bed, standing between you legs. Both of you have been trying to dom one another all day, but neither of you were submitting. The frustration of neither one of you being giving in had finally set in, making both of you extremely frustrated and a little pissed off. Bills hand reached up to roughly cup your cheek, tilting your face to look directly into his eyes,

“Just give up already. You know you wanna be a good girl for me…just stop being a brat.” You scoffed, yanking your face away from his hand.

“You wish. Why are you trying so hard to take control? I think you just wanna get me all worked up so that Ill punish you. I know you like when I do that.” You cooed, making an attempt to wipe away the smug look on his face. But to your disappointment, he only smirked harder.

“Such a mean girl, huh? Its ok, baby. You just need me to fuck the brat outta you, then you’ll be my good girl again.” He pushed your body to lay back on the bed and he starts to undress you.

“Ok, Ill let you play your little game. Id like to see you try. But just warning you, I’m not gonna be nice with your punishment after this.” Bill rolls his eyes and get himself undressed after he was finished taking your clothes off. He climbs on top of you and runs his slender fingers up your cunt.

“So wet. You like when I put you in your place? Does that turn you on, sweetheart?” You let out a sarcastic laugh,

“You know what does turn me on? When you try to be so tough and dominant, it makes it so much more fun to break you, baby.” Your hand comes up to give his hair a harsh tug, pulling his head down so that he was only an inch away from your face, “this is your final chance to give up. If you keep going, I’m gonna make you regret it.” He laughed, moving to line himself up at your entrance.

“Aww, so cute. Just shut up and take my dick like a good slut.” Without warning, he slams his hips into you. You groan and give his hair another tug. He doesn’t give you time to adjust, he immediately starts thrusting into you at a fast pace. Once he gets into a good rhythm, his hand travels up your body and squeezes the sides of your throat. “Im gonna make sure that fucking attitude is gone by the time I’m done with you. You’re such a difficult little brat today. That ok, I’m gonna fix that real quick.”

Your legs wrap around his hips, pulling him deeper into you. He moans and squeezes your throat a little harder. “You’re so cute, sweet boy. It’s funny that you think you’re gonna be able to keep this up.” Your hands cradled his face, pulling him closer to kiss the corner of his lips. He shook his head a little and gave you a harsh thrust, causing your back to arch off the bed. He smirks and keep hitting the same spot in you that makes you see stars.

“I can feel you getting close. Your pussys squeezing me so tight. Just let go for me, baby. Just cum all over me like the obedient slut I know you can be.” He huffed, his own orgasm approaching quickly.

“Yeah? I can feel you twitching inside me, you gonna cum too? Be a good boy and cum inside me.” He whines a little and it turns into a growl as he finishes deep inside of you. The warm feeling makes you cum too, clutching onto his arms to try to steady your shaking body. Both of you were tired and sweaty, desperately trying to comfort each other after the rough session. Your hands caressed his hair gently and his smoothed over your sides to bring you back down to earth. This went on until you were too tired to continue, falling asleep while holding each other.

[webslingingslasher]

this is frat!peter i’m crying

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cvm-mBPp8Jd/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

NO STOPPP WHY DO I WANNA WRITE THIS:::

ok so u see this trend right, and yeah, you’re gonna test the fuck out of peter so for the first time ever (since that one scare) you’re excited for your period. the second you get it- ITS TIME TO FUCK W HIM

you played it up all afternoon saying how you feel yucky because of cramps and your head hurts and he’s all ‘my baby :( come cuddle’ after a few hours you roll away for the bathroom and wait a few minutes and very timidly open the door.

‘petey?’

‘trouble?’

you stay silent- he looks up and sees you staring at your socks. you look ashamed.

‘what’s wrong?’

you nibble on your lip, ‘im on my period’

‘i’m aware, feeling extra crampy? wanna shower sex it up?’

-you almost toss the plan to the side. almost-

you shake your head, ‘something bad happened’

peter’s first thought was a leak, he throws his blankets back and looks over the sheets.

‘no, you’re all clear.’

‘um, i was trying to change my tampon.’

‘gross.’

‘and…. i can’t.’

peter catches on, he slowly rises from bed and throws a shirt on.

‘no biggie, text me what kind you use. i’ll go grab em.’

he’s too kind. you stop him.

‘no!’

your ‘panic’ stops him.

‘why, you want pads?’

‘no, i …’ you mumble the words, it makes him step closer, he pulls at your hand.

‘what’s that, mumbles?’

you look up to see his reaction, ‘it’s… stuck in me.’

his eyes flash down to your pajama shorts.

‘what’s stuck in you?’

‘my tampon.’

peter’s eyes shoot back down.

‘how… how does that happen? i don’t… what do you mean stuck?’

‘like- i can’t reach it. it’s up there.’

peter acts like he’s pulling a rope above him.

‘isn’t there like… one of these.’

you shake your head, ‘i mean it, peter. way up there.’ you look away when you ask, ‘will you help?’

peter stares at your crotch. ‘like… you want me to go fishing in there?’

‘i can’t reach it!’

‘i…’ he wants to say how gross it is, but he’d be joking and you seem embarrassed to even ask. plus, it’s not like you have anyone else to ask. he knows that area in and out, if anyone could do it quickly it’d be him.

your face falls when he walks away, you thought he’d be down for it. it’s just a joke but now you know he wouldn’t actually do it, it makes you feel hurt.

it’s like he can sense your upset.

‘i’m not leaving you, im getting the towel.’

the towel.

may got him a set of dark red towels to match with his frat, and one night when peter seemed a little desperate, you shut him down with a sorry pout.

‘shark week. trust me, with these cramps, it kills me to say no.’

it insulted peter you think that’d stop him. he hadn’t had period sex before that but he can imagine it’s the same just a little wetter, and he assumes you’d be extremely sensitive so…

he brings a red towel out and raises his eyebrows.

‘i’m down if you’re down.’

and since then, it’s the towel. it stays in the closet until it’s needed, then you wash it and return in.

a smile breaks over your face, he’s jumping into action.

‘no! you don’t have to! i was just testing you.’

peter’s closet door slowly shuts, ‘so, no stuck tampon?’

‘no, i just wanted to see if you would do it.’

‘oh. well, should i put the towel away?’

you step out from the bathroom doorway to look at him, you share a glance that says the same thing. peter tosses the towel to the bed while you answer.

‘no.’

[tadhgsstuff]

hello fellow new moot, may I request anything fluff with ghost (if you write for him)?

heyy!! I can certainly try! I really needed smth to take me out of this writers block anyways so thank you very much for the request ^^ (this is gonna be pure fluff no suggestive things or anything, so no warnings, I’ve been sitting on the whole stressed out reader thing so thats why Im using it for this!)

ok long intro over

You’re sitting on the couch at home, doing some work.

Well, trying to. Right now you’re staring at the unrealistically bright screen, thats been subtly blinding you since the laptop opened hours ago, your eyes hurt, your head hurts, your brain is tired of thinking. You place your fingers on your temples and rub your head in circular motions. All of the sudden you feel two hands on your shoulders.

“Si’? I’m sorry I would’ve gotten up to say hi at the door, I didn’t hear you come in”

“It’s okay, love. How long have you been working?” he asks concerned, as he look at the bags forming under your eyes.

“A few hours”

“How many is a few?” he continues

You quickly check the time, “roughly 5” you say trying to stifle a yawn

“Alright, thats enough working for tonight.” He says before abruptly taking your laptop

“Why’re you all cuddly tonight?” you say as you attempt to take the laptop back

“You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. You need a break.” He says sternly

You fight the urge to argue with him and just let him put your stuff away, he quickly changes and sits down on the couch next to you.

“c’mere”he says quietly

you shuffle over to him and sit in his lap, you curl your legs up and lean your head against him as he runs his rough hands against your scalp softly, his other hand supporting your body.

“do you want to talk about it?” he whispers into your hair

you simply shake your head and say “Its okay, can we just enjoy each others presence for now?”

“Of course.” he goes back to working his hands into your skin, trailing around your body and getting every possible knot in your tense muscles, peppering little kisses around your face.

While this isn’t his usual demeanor, he’s okay with it because you are his home, his comfort, so he doesn’t mind being as affectionate as you need him to be. He loves being with you, being silent with you, being loud with you, as long as you’re there he loves whatever you’re doing, you soon both fall asleep intwined in each others arms on the couch, embraced in your combined warmth with the ambiance of your synced breaths.

(not proofread 😞 I am in fact very stressed with work right now so I’m sorry if this isn’t exactly what you were looking for! like I said before I so appreciate the request! Please comment and reblog and let me know if you want to be in the next taglist!)

@dudeitiskarev (for the divider!)

Do not steal or post my work on any other platform! Thank you!

(Taglist: comment if you’d like to be tagged!)

[jackmanbj]

is that ight?

an: hi guys! im back hopefully for long and just wanna say that this is something that didnt take me long to write because i wanted it to be kinda short for my little return!🤭

summary: jack is ranting to you about his problems and your trying your best to help him not wanting him to give up on anything.

jack had just got home from the studio, his eyes were baggy and his hair was messy.

you were sitting on the sofa waiting for jack, even though it was two in the morning.

“jack hun you look tired…”

“just a little, lets go to bed” jack didnt wait for a response and he started walking upstairs and heading to the bedroom while you followed behind

at first, jack didnt even bother taking off his clothes, being to tired to even more after he sat on the bed “jack hun.. i know you’re tired but you need to undress” you say taking off his jacket

jack groans but eventually start undressing, he keeps on his wife-beater and boxers on and lays down

you pull him on top of you, his head resting on your chest as you scratch his scalp lightly

—

the next morning when you woke up, jack was already getting ready to go to the studio

“jack.. your overworked, stay home”

“i cant—im on a high right now! my new song just got higher then first class, everyone’s still expecting me to make new music and i cant take any days off, not right now at least maybe in a few weeks”

“jack you need a break..” “well i want to be able to spoil you and i cant do that if i keep taking breaks” “keep taking breaks? baby.. this would be your first break in four weeks.. sit down” you say patting the bed as you sit up

“why do you feel like that?”

no airports and no flights thats how i wanna live my life, is that ight?

“i—i dont even know.. i just feel like i need to work or everything i have is gonna come crashing down.. like everything i worked for is gonna fall apart, i dont even care about all the cars, and the jewelry.. but i want just a little but even with just a little i feel like im wasting so much”

no sport cars and no ice, okay maybe a little ice, we all got a lil’ vice

“jack hun.. you can want everything in the world and you can get it if you can afford it—wanting something and getting it doesn’t mean that your overdoing it, you see people with seven cars but they can get them because they like them, not because they want to have fame for it”

“but i feel like sometimes its to much, and theres even more to it.. sometimes i hate when fans come up to me and want a whole lot of pictures, i dont mind saying hi or asking for one picture but they keep going and i also feel like me and some of the pg are falling out because of me working so much we dont talk alot…”

no selfies just say hi, im so healthy and alive 4L we them same guys equity for my dogs only time you see gang signs.

“jack not wanting people to come up to you a lot is normal it doesn’t make you a bad person and it shouldn’t make you feel bad, not everyone likes that.. and people lose friends, but if its pg dont you think you should schedule a meet up for all of you, or most of you to hang out and catch up?”

jack shifts his body, not facing you anymore “i want to, i do i wanna hang out with them and i want to stay strong with them but also i dont want to stop my working and my music for it”

im looking to change lives i already changed mine

you take his face in your hands making him face you again “jack people have to move on with there lives sometimes.. everyone cant just wait for inspiration they just have to take a chance, lots of people are impatient and want you to release music or your opinion or what you think when they want it..”

the times not stop waiting for the inspiration, they say its a flaw being impatient but…

jack huffs “ok..okay ill take a break from working.. ill take a week long break and ill set boundaries with fans and ill talk to pg..”

i just want peace i dont want no smoke

[solitude4chiron]

Carry me home..

Miles-42 x Black Reader

About: You and miles smoke together while braiding his hair

A/N: I think this will be a one shot tbh, I’m honestly writing anything rn so apologies if this ain’t my best 😪😪

“Im home ma” Miles yelled from inside of the living room, bringing in flowers like how he did every other day knowing there was no space for them.

You had took his hair out yesterday night and promised to braid his hair today. His coils framed his sharp face drooping over his forehead. Before you could even get up from your bed and put your joint down, he was in the smoke filled doorway.

“Damnn smoking without me? Estoy lastimado princesa” (I’m hurt princess) He laughed placing the flowers on your desk before changing his clothes.

“Didn’t think you’d be home so early sorry baby” you smiled before kissing his brown lips.

After he changed his clothes and got settled on the bed, you bounced up from your spot on his chest and ran to the bathroom. When you came back there were 2 combs and edge control in your hand. 

Your mom had taught you how to braid since you were 5. You braided your baby dolls hair while she did yours. It was a love language to gift someone beauty through their hair. So you carried it over to your boyfriend who let you play in his hair whenever.

“You ready?” 

“Always” he said scooting back into your open legs resting his head between them. “Tryna spark up? Again..” He said sarcastically trying to get a laugh out of you.

“Sure miles”

After every few minutes he would lean his head back and pass you the joint. Watching you take hits was his favorite thing ever, the way your lips opened to ghost and exhale. The way your eyes lowered and merged into your lashes. He loved it. Your window was open and orange streetlights poured through, illuminating the already candlelit room. Plus tonight your boyfriend didn’t come home at 3 am, so it was automatically a good night.

“I’m gonna try something new today ok? It’s gonna look amazing I promise”

“confío en ti” (I trust you)

After a few braids you threw yourself back onto the bed needing a quick break, miles stood from his spot and laid next to you. Kissing your forehead repeatedly to show his appreciation.

“Tired? That za got you sleepy huh” he laughed tracing your nose with his fingers.

 “I thought you said you could take it? This what you wanted right?”

“What are we talking about right now..” You responded making a dirty joke, miles rolled his eyes sarcastically knowing he didn’t mind.

“boy sit back down”

“Yes ma’am”

About half an hour your later hands started resting lighter and lighter on his head. Getting more tired with every braid you finished. Luckily you were on the last braid for the night.

“I’m done babe” you said through barely open lips 

“Well your coming with me to see them” miles said picking you up from the bottom of your thighs and draping your head over his shoulder. 

When you got to the bathroom you both looked into the mirror with red eyes. He admired the designs in the side of his head in awe.

“How did you do this y/n what the fuck?!” 

“You like it?” 

“I love it hermosa, let’s get you in bed though.”

When you and miles were in bed his favorite thing to do was press himself into you. You didn’t mind if it kept you two warm through the night. Before drifting into sleep you felt something poke your butt making you flip your body over, locking eyes with your boyfriend.

“Your nasty as hell miles” you laughed 

“My bad, you looked good tonight”

“Stay on that side of the bed please…” you said sarcastically pushing him away and rolling your eyes.

& that’s all thanks 4 reading 🫶🏾 + that vamp hobie fic is done I’m just hesitant on dropping it so gimme a minute 😭

[eulchu]

ok guys. let's have a real talk. let's ALL have a real talk and i don't mean just me and my anons . i hope this reaches all of our community even if you think i fucking suck.

fucking october didn't ruin us but i am so worried that this dumb tension just might. this is getting so ridiculous and out of hand -i barely understand what's going on myself. so im gonna need everyone to work together and do a collective reflection exercise.

i am gonna write out a series of points that i need u guys to think about before proceeding in this community:

- active blogs. you're burnt out. you're burnt out and you're so tired of trying to keep this community running that you're denying yourself a moment to feel your own frustrations as your own individual person. i get that . i get being under so much pressure that you can't catch yourself some slack, least you spiral out of control <- this is, however, really damn unhealthy 😭 it's ok to let yourself feel some disappointment!! some anger!! that's fine. it's up to you, however, what you do with it. this brings us to our next point.

- we NEED to acknowledge this if we wanna get better. ifl it's taboo and we're pushing the narrative so hard we're not giving ourselves enough space to breathe. it. is. okay. to. feel. disappointed. over. the. lack. of. dteam. content. i am the first person to shut down any self entilted prick who thinks they can expect something out of them. because they DON'T owe us anything. but truth is we are humans and, accordingly so, feel in consequence of our own expectations. i wanna break this part down in a few points:

it is OKAY to acknowledge that we are disappointed. denying one self's feelings never ended up ok for anyone. it is okay to acknowledge that we are not getting the content we were hoping for.

it is NOT okay to blame the dteam for it. this is where it gets tricky. the dteam are in charge of what type of content they put out. it will never be in our hands. at that point, if you don't like what they're doing. leave. i'm sorry. it's harsh. i'm not trying to be mean about it. i'd understand if you left! it's ok!

- before you leave, though, i want to ask you a question. why do dislike what they're doing so much? seriously, ask yourself that question. is the content that bad, in your eyes? if the answer is yes, i can't help you there. you've grown out of their content. there's no way around it.

- but is it actually bad, or is it just Not What You Expected? In which case, let's talk. Let's put things bluntly:

the dteam have waited years to be together. correct

upon living together, we have discovered that they are not very good at providing content because they put their friendship above content. i'm not sure if anyone had that in their bingo cards - but it's what happened. autumn was really rough on them & they've learnt to exist together off camera. me personally, i think it's sweet.

dteam and traveling: a fall out? :o . no. jesus christ 😭 the fact that this is the new narrative nauseates me. i don't think anyone in their right mind thinks that dteam are less close than they were when they were living apart.

Bringing back our initial point, the failure to meet our expectations can be mentally challenging. it will inevitably make us second guess a lot of associated ideas that we thought were true . if one of our expectations fails to be met, that's a fail in our mental plan. if we were wrong about this, who's to say we are right about anything else?

i'm not sure if there's some sort of denial of feelings here or if people are trying really hard not to think about this possibility because it makes them scared. i am inviting you to take a moment to really think about it and feel the initial dread of the question. it will pass fairly quickly.

the truth is that the dteam is FINE. they're fine, they share a house, they film videos together, and they go on these long ass hiatus when they're together because they would much rather spend uncesored time off-line.

my favorite point: for how parasocial we are, we don't give them nearly enough credit. the dteam are adult men. we have to put faith in their decisions. only they know what they're doing. they know what's best for them. we certainly don't.

- i wanna rescue this last point. their decisions are THEIRS. if we don't put trust in what they're doing, we're already failing the game. that means who they hang out with too. i get not liking someone ok? i get it. i don't like a lot of people either. no one is pointing a gun to any of their heads. if you think that any of them is doing something that you don't see fit you have problems and you need to grow up. it is not our place to dictate their lives and it will never be. that goes for the white-knighting too.

⚠️(this is a completely hypothetical scenario)⚠️

the truth is if tomorrow george decides to go back to the uk, for whatever reason. we would all have to fucking shut it. fan disappointment? yes. acting like george is an awful person for betraying his best friends? you're out of your fucking mind.

dream george and sapnap are grown up people with a strong friendship and communication skills. if you think that george would take the unilateral decision and not tell anyone until the day before you need to seek help. whatever decision the dteam take about their lives it's THEIRS and you need to put some fawking faith in what they're doing. they know what's up.

that goes for the fucking karl problem too okay? i don't like it either. whatever. it's not my place though?? dream isn't a baby who's been abandoned he's a grown ass man who knows what he's doing and if he still considers (if they ALL do) karl his friend that's his decision. if he thinks that karl's friendship management is fine that's his decision. we are not dream's friends nor his fucking therapist.

- the thing about dooming and content. the multishippers: is the dteam all there really is? i firmly believe that we all kove the dteam outside of each other. (mostly tackled in this post)

- dnf and the fandom. jesus christ i can't believe i have to make a point about this. i think it's important to remember that at the end of the day. it's just Not That Serious. it was never meant to be that serious. bringing back the "they're their own people" point, what the Fuck do some people think they're doing 🧍‍♂️

dnf know what they're doing they know the nature of their relationship better than we ever will. if they're just friends it's because they chose to if they . in the biggest plot of the century . come out of this with a s/o it doesn't mean they're cheating on each other, that dream/george was leading anyone on or that they're hurting each other???? are you CRAZY 😭 if they're dating they're dating if they're not they're fucking not but they're. not gonna be sad about it??? they're adult people in an adult relationship they know what tf they're doing. they hold each other's hearts impossibility close to themselves. there's nothing they would ever do that could hurt each other.

to wrap things up: after this reddit worthy post (congrats if you've made it to the end) i have something very important to ask of you guys.

i know it might be unfair but can we all compromise on detoxxing. completely. for like, a week. not posting neg at ALL. we can't enable doomers we can't enable bait anons. neg is only good for one thing: make anxious people paranoid as fuck.

so can we. for like a week. just not post anything /neg at all. can we block the worst of it. the unnecessary dooming. and not acknowledge at ALL. i get it's a huge mental toll on the active blogs - reading so much negativity SUCKS but i do believe that it's a better option than responding and enabling more people to send similar asks.

me personally, i am already saying it here: any dooming will get blocked in my askbox. i won't hate you for it. but this IS a warning that you need to get your shit together if you ever wanna have a chance at speaking in my askbox ever again.

um congrats if you read everything?😭 PLEAAAASE let's all make this place a better place again i know we can do it

U CAN ADD TO THIS POST IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY BTW !!!

[vivaladicamillo]

RYAN DUNN WITH A GOTH AND METALHEAD GN READER

heyy yalll im backkk, took a little break for a bit but IM BACK BABYYYY, ive been getting into goth culture a lot as of recent and have been changing my style to fit around it more so this is js a silly little thing to fuel my brain ☺️☺️ enjoyyy

WARNINGS: none

—————————————

GOTH

ok so really i think ryan would LOVEE a goth s/o

but it depends on the era of him

if we r talking BEGINNING of cky days i feel like he would be into it but NEVERRR let yk abt it

if we r taking 1999 ryan oh my god hed fall in love with u then and there

we all know back then he had a little thing for more hardcore women (COUGH COUGH YALL EVER SEEN GLOREN BRO, the leather jacket RYAN WE KNOW WHO U RR)

i feel like he would be curious about it

just with how intricate the style is

i feel like hed be into all the styles of goth ngl, hes js so curious on how it all works

the closet thing hes really seen of goth is bam fanboying over ville

soo not much to compare it too

i feel like he would ask so many questions

just like “where do u find clothes like that??” “how long does it take u to get ready?” js air headed questions

if u started dating him tho oh my god hes a sweetheart

anything halloween related that looks edgy in the slightest he will buy and say it reminded him of u

will help tie up corsets, clip on necklaces, and always have a spare pair of flat shoes on him just incase ur heels start to kill ur feet

obsessed with the make up, he thinks its so cool (and so hot)

oh bam is lowkey so jealous

especially if u are a fan of ville

ryan would try and color match his shirts to ur outfits

u wearing red? his shirt is gonna be red

purple? he has a purple button up somewhere

hes js so in love w u he doesnt care

will be the type of guy to run to the store last minute to get accessories for an outfit for u

also will buy u those overly expensive edgy ass heels from the store bc he know u will rock them

probably has tried on some of ur platformed shoes or heels and busted his ass

bam would probably be there dying laughing bc of it

or he would casually put on a hair piece or some necklaces and imitate you (he swears it out of love)

honestly would let u give him a gothic makeover, js dont show bam

he doesnt reallyy get whats going on but he loves it anyways bc he loves u

METALHEAD

oh he thinks ur so cool

depending on what metal genre u prefer he would listen to so many songs from it

i feel like he’d be a little intimidated at first bc mf thinks HIM and CKY is hardcore

he will buy patches for ur battle vest

love hearing u go on about the bands

WILL GO TO CONCERTS WITH U

warning tho hes gonna try and fucking stage dive into the mosh pit

hes gonna get his ass KICKED

loves ur accessories

the gauntlet cuffs, the bullet belts he thinks its so edgy and cool

hes a little scared of the corpse paint tho

hes seen bam do it but never fully going out with it

when he walks into the room and see u just with two massive black holes for eyes a white face and a frown drawn on it kinda scares him for a second

but he thinks its so cool after he realized

wants u to do it on him

literally if u do he will js be staring in the mirror of a good 20 lins is awe

will go to bar shows with u

cant fight for shit tho so if someone starts shit goodluck LMAOOO

lowkey would grow his hair out bc one of ur fav bands fav members has long hair

hes wayy more into this probably then the gothic vibe but tbh ryans such a sweetheart if he liked u, HE LOVEDDD u

—————————————-

hey yall so hope u enjoyed, ive been really into both these scenes recently and broo the goth metal style is my favvv, its hella cool. i need to start writing on here again lmk if i should do other cky/jackass members with different styles and genre loving readers!! byeeee :))

[narrators-journal]

tumblr gave me an error last time so im gonna try again bc im adamant. can i have boyfriend rights and get you to write me a self indulgent tooth rotting fluff vash one shot pwease... u can make it reader... or use addy.... if you dont wanna look into trigun lore outside of vash you can make it reverse isekai bc i think vash deserves a break.... ok wuv you kissa you so sweetly

So! I have never seen more than a tiktok of Vash the stampede, so I know NOTHING of this show and won't write for it again. But, you have boyfriend rights and I have an inkling of Vash's personality, so enjoy my best attempt at some fluff to cheer you up, honeybee <3

Sometimes the universe revealed some wild abilities, like an extinct animal evolving back into existence, or some scarily lethal toxins. Whether it was a nice surprise or a bad one, the world still had a few tricks up her sleeve it seemed. Which, was how you somehow ended up with a tall, lanky, traumatized goofball as a new roommate and flirting buddy.

Vash really was a marvel of the world, something of a 8th wonder due to being an anime character come to reality. And, despite coming from a sci-fi, dystopian tale, he was nowhere near as sharp-edged and blood-thirsty as the movies you'd seen would lead someone to believe.

Instead, Vash was as careful with everything as a giant with the worlds most delicate china. Ever since staying with you, he'd proven to be a whole-hearted pacifist. From you, to a deer you got the pleasure of watching headbutt him in the gut and toss the metal-armed man into the air, the blonde didn't even raise his voice, let alone put a harmful finger on anyone or anything.

Despite every horrid thing you'd read of this man going through in his manga, he had a kindness that warmed your heart every time you saw it. So, you wanted to return that favor and give him some source of low-effort joy of his own. One that he couldn't argue he'd accidentally hurt with his metal arm's strength or lose with his bad luck.

Which, is why you hauled home a tank, decoration, and a fish.           "Hey! Vash!" You called once you walked through your front door, your roomie soon emerging from the spare room he had claimed as his own.           "Uh, there something you need?" He asked, jumping to help you carry in the fish tank before you could even ask. As eager to be of use as ever.

But, you weren't going to complain. Vash could haul in the hefty glass tank and stand as if they were little more than loaves of bread, and all you had to do was give him the order and he was off to fetch you whatever you needed for the assembly or tank set up. It made getting everything together a far easier task than if you had to do it yourself.

      "So, who's the fish for? I always took you as a cat or a dog person." The blonde asked when you finally put the fish in. And before you answered, you took a moment to see the simple glee in the scarred man's face while he watched the colorful creature swim around, taking it as a sign that this was a good idea. "It's actually for you, hon. So you can have something to take care of and keep you company." At that, the tall man shot up, his eyes suddenly wide with horror, "What?! But what if I mess it up? I could kill this little guy after you spent all this money on him?!"

You shook your head at the argument, simply smiling at him, "Come on, Vash. You stay home all day worrying and fretting over me while I'm at work, you deserve a little friend to help keep you calmer." You explained, making the tall man squirm as if your kind gesture physically hurt him. "I really don't deserve this consideration..." "Well I insist! You don't do anything for yourself, so I did something for you. You can name them whatever you want, enjoy your fish." Upon your insistence, Vash did back down, but you could still see the uncertainty in his eyes.

However, you didn't comment on it and simply went on to make yourself some lunch. You left Vash with his fish and only peeked into the living room now and then to see him just watching the colorful creature with the interest of a child watching saturday cartoons.

[ghosts-bandwagon]

HELLO begging pleading on my knees for more young reader hello please a crumb it was so scrumptious i am begging for me sobbing crying at your feet it was so good more pleasepleaseplease I NEED TO SEE THE STORY EXPAND plsplspls your writing is so delicious (hurt/comfort??) i keep thinking about how they managed to get that good at a young age its gotta be angsty yumyumyum (if you have the time ofc, tqsm im just very not normal about the brainrot they are FAMILY your honor)

Ok! So let me preface this with, I know fuck all about the military aside from what I’ve seen in movies and shows, and what I’ve looked at through my own research… and that’s gonna reflect in this but you wanted angst so here you go babe 😘 (anon is referring to this post!)

Maybe our newest, youngest addition to the 141 comes from a big family and they always fought for their turn in the spotlight of their family’s affections. Maybe after years and years of trying and doing things the right way, excelling at their extracurriculars, going above and beyond in their sports, doing impressively well in their classes, it still wasn’t enough. Maybe they settled in with the wrong crowd in an attempt to get some morsel of acknowledgment, to know that they exist, that they matter to someone or something. And maybe they spent most of their formative years with this crowd, getting into all kinds of trouble, from stealing little things from shops, to sprinting away from the cops after trespassing an abandoned facility. They’ve spent years doing this, they learned early on how to survive, how to properly pivot your foot when you throw a punch, they learned how to break their thumb to slip out of handcuffs, they learned how to be unrelenting and merciless when it came time to blows.

This soldier, this child, who only ever wanted to feel accepted, and welcome, and safe with someone, anyone, is so desperate to belong somewhere. That when they’re finally of age, they enlist. Finally, clearly, understanding that their family didn’t really care what happened to them either way. Their family only really reached out to them when they needed something or to bitch at them for not being available enough or not calling enough.

They go through training, and just like with everything they’ve done so far, they passed with flying fucking colors, scoring top marks in almost every category. It’s impressive. It’s inspirational. It’s tragic. And Laswell picks up on that when she’s thumbing away at potential operatives. So she talked to Price, tells him what she thinks, what she says, and the potential they have.

He’s weighing the pros and the cons, mulling over the new information, and then he sees their picture. He’s had young soldiers before but this is something new. It causes an uneasiness to settle in his stomach, but he sees the picture, flips through the file and thinks of his own men, how they’d feel working with someone this young and this, apparently, talented. He feels a little more at ease at the idea that they’d be in better hands with him and his team. He sighs, looking at the picture one more time, tired eyes staring back him,

��Send ‘em my way.”

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Can I please request a gender neutral reader going out with julius on a first date, and by the end of the night, Julius confesses to the reader that demons have soul mates, and he's realized the reader is his soulmate? Then says he loves them and Julius gives the reader their first kiss? Thank you so much 🖤 take your meds if you have any and drink water🖤🖤 (I have had the back of this in my head and I saw your asks are open, I love the way you write all the crps🖤🖤)

Omg i love this concept so much!! I love i when people are creative like this, its so fun to write!!

Also, thank you for the medication reminder, friend <33

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Julius x soulmate!reader

Julius hadn't had much luck with relationships. It's not like he wasn't trying, because he was! It's just that relationships and love wasn't clicking for him.

So, when the opportunity to take you out came up, he wasn't expecting much to come out of it. Don't get me wrong, he treated you like a gentleman! He just wasn't expecting to ever be in touch with you again.

The date was fun, he took you walking around a small town square where you bought snacks and drinks, you looked at local shops where he treated you to whatever you wanted, and the last event of the night was him taking you to a grassy hilltop, void of anyone else who could disturb you, that way you could talk and get to know each other better.

The date was only supposed to last for two hours or so, but as the hours slipped away he noticed that he couldn't help but melt into you. Before he knew it, you were packing up whatever you had with you and standing up, getting ready to leave.

"I had fun tonight." You say with a smile as he stands. "I'm glad. Would you like me to walk you home?" He asks, holding one of your hands in his. "No, I'm ok. Thank you though, what a gentleman" you say, teasingly squeezing his cheek. He smiles as you turn to leave, but a burn in his heart stops him from doing so himself. He stares at you for a moment, before he speaks without really thinking about it.

"Y-y/n...hold on" he says, jogging over to you. You turn to look at him with a confused look. "What's up? Don't tell me you already miss me" you say with a cheeky grin. He smiles briefly before exhaling deeply. "I...i think I've just come to a pretty life changing conclusion. Im gonna sound crazy, but just bear with me, ok?" He says, looking anywhere but you. First date jitters seem to be finally catching up to him.

You are quiet for a moment before reaching out and cupping his cheek. "It's ok. You can tell me anything, promise." He lets out another exhale, before overlapping your hand with his own. "So um, demons have soulmates...and I've been looking for mine for some time now...and i promise this isn't some weird ploy to get you to date me, but i think....i think you're my soulmate"

You gasp quietly, and there is a silence between the two of you for a moment. He leans in, pressing his forehead to yours and whispering "im sorry this is so sudden, but i cant let this die out." You reciprocate the touch, closing your eyes as you do so "it's ok, i just.....do you think you could show me? How you know I'm your soulmate?"

He cups your cheeks and moves his face to be inching closer to your lips. He looks into your eyes for approval, and when he gets it, he kisses you. It is the most passionate, love filled kiss he's ever given anyone. It's so pertinent you can almost feel it. You quickly get the hang of kissing him, kissing him back with the same passion. He's holding onto you so protectively, as if he were to let go, youd break.

When the kiss is over, he looks into your eyes as he whispers to you "was that ok?" You nod and kiss his nose. "More than ok" he smiles "im glad" he stands up and moves away from you. "I'm uh, sure you'll need some time to process all this but, whenever you need me, I'm always open" he smiles at you one last time before turning and heading home, leaving you with a dopey love struck grin on your face

[xnchxntmxnt]

hiyaa !!

i’d like to request fluff sjsjsjsjsj

i’ve recently got back into hq,, once again<3

so teru pls n ty cause just,, he

anyway if you pls, male/gn reader who gets rejected and basically gets comforted n then realises,, oh shit i like you not this mfer 😦😦 so there’s sobbing and ilys but then a real ily and it’s just all so

aww

anyway !! don’t feel pressured to write ever, have a good day :]]

my b!! forgot to sign off lol,,

yr recent ask was me !! i have returned <3

-🌱

we're gonna pretend i didn't get this ask several months ago ok im sorry

small conversations, smaller confessions

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Character: Terushima Yuuji

Warnings: some kissing at the end, maybe a little cursing?

Notes: i decided to empty out my drafts/inbox and this was the latest thing in my inbox again i am so sorry. thank you @possiblypoe for the help love /p <3

gn!reader!

Reblogs > likes

It was hard to stay upset when your best friend had ice cream smeared on his nose and was giving you a retelling of a conversation he’d had with his four-year-old brother, while somehow managing to sound exactly like his brother when he mimicked him. 

For the last ten minutes, Terushima had been parading around your room, overdramatically imitating his brother while taking quick breaks to shove more ice cream (from the giant tub, by the way—you were sharing it since he forgot to buy himself anything on your way home) in his mouth. 

The person you’d had a crush on rejected you at school, and since they had, Teru had been right by your side. You had to threaten him to get him to go to class, actually. He was trying to be incredibly supportive, though, and comfort you in any way he could. 

Which lead to him insisting on going to the store, buying a ton of your favorite junk food, and now he was doing everything in his power to make you laugh. Including some rather inappropriate jokes that had him laughing harder than you. 

He sat on your bed, kicking his feet up and putting them on your lap. “How you feeling now?” he asked, taking a rather large scoop of ice cream and putting the whole thing in his mouth. 

You stared at him for a moment. “Worried you're going to get a brain freeze, Yu.”

He shrugged. “Eh, whatever,” he said through a mouthful of ice cream. “Not what I meant. You feeling better about what’s-their-name?”

“A little.” You let out a long sigh before shoving his feet off of you, deciding to lay down. Your pillows were on the other side of him, so you laid your head on his leg. He smiled down at you as you kept talking. “You’ve done a lot for me. Thank you, Yu.”

“Anything for you,” he said, booping the tip of your nose. “Y’know, that person’s kind of a jerk, anyway. I don’t think that would have worked out well for you.”

“Did you hear something or are you saying that to make me feel better?”

“It’s just to make you feel better.” 

You scoff and roll your eyes at him. 

“I’m sorry! I don’t think I’ve heard one person say something bad about them! President Perfect, if you ask me. Maybe a little too perfect.”

The comedic suspicion in his voice made you laugh again. What would you do without him?

Teru was…amazing, really. He was there to comfort you at any given moment, always had something to make you laugh, and had this energy that drew people to him like a magnet. He was always so chipper and, despite sometimes needing someone to reign his shenanigans in, really cared about the people around him and made sure they knew it. 

When you looked up at him again, a content smile stuck on his face as he looked back, something seemed like it clicked in the back of your head. You’d been pining after this person for a few weeks and sure, maybe you liked them, but there was something different about Yuuji. How much of that was years of friendship, and how much of that was something else?

You sat up abruptly, shaking the thought from your mind. You didn’t need to go there right now, what if he didn’t feel the same? What were you saying—you yourself weren’t sure how you felt about him! You needed to get your head straight first and then you could figure out what the hell all this meant. 

“You alright?” he asked, following you by sitting up as well, reaching out a hand to make sure nothing was wrong. 

Quickly, you nodded, jumping up and heading toward your door. “Yeah! I’ll, uh…ill be back in a sec. Feel free to finish off the ice cream.”

He made a weird face but you didn't take the time to look, instead running for the hallway and deciding to lock yourself in the bathroom for a moment. What were you thinking? Years of friendship down the drain because of a fleeting thought? But now you were thinking about it more and—

“Dammit!” you cursed, half-whispered as you slammed your fist on the counter. Now what were you going to do?

A quiet knock sounded from the other side of the door and you heard Yuuji’s voice. “(Y/N)?” he asked. “You good? Thought I heard something fall…”

You sighed and turned, opening the door. He offered an encouraging smile that broke whatever sanity you had left in your mind. 

All the emotional exhaustion finally got to you. Maybe it wasn't a great decision, it was definitely rash, but you grabbed his hand and pulled him a little closer, asking, “would you freak out if I kissed you right now?”

He stared, wide-eyed, but shook his head. Without a second thought to let your sense of reason kick in, you dropped his hand, grabbed him by the collar, and kissed him.

It was fast—much too fast—but you could feel the tension cut through the air and dissipate the closer you got. Expectantly, you looked at him as you pulled away, waiting for one of you to say something. You tried to, but the words didn’t want to come out. 

He spoke up first, barely above a whisper. “I have been waiting to do that for years,” he muttered before leaning in again. This time, he kissed you breathless, one hand gently on your hips and the other holding the side of your face. Your hand dropped from his collar and played with the (quite soft, actually) buzzed hair at the bottom of his head. 

You stayed there for a while, back against the counter, just kissing. Neither of you wanted to pull away from the other, he was more important than air, and apparently, he thought the same. 

After a minute or so of that, he leaned his forehead against yours, smiling against your lips. “You have no idea how much I wanted to do that,” he said, bumping his nose against yours. 

You leaned back quickly, looking him in the eye, expression that of shock. “You what?” you asked, just now processing his earlier words. 

He laughed and laid his head on your shoulder. “I’m sorry, (Y/N), I…I never wanted to say anything, but I’ve had a massive crush on you since…what, probably first year?”

Gently, you smacked the back of his head, asking, “why didn’t you tell me?”

Yuuji picked his head up and kissed your cheek. “I didn’t know you’d feel the same!” he said, mimicking your tone. “Let’s just…skip that part. Less talking, more kissing.”

He paused for a moment to make sure you didn’t want to argue/would be okay with that (always a gentleman) so you closed the gap between you. He was right, talking could wait.

taglist

@emswordss @kodzukoi @animated-moon @duckymcdoorknob @mysterystarz @sirimirihiro @momoewn @otaku-thingz

[pidgemotoiii]

Silly Billy

Scotty x reader: Banana episode(if u couldn't find it)

An: Hey yall uhm college is kinda tough. I'm writing this literally at the end of my spring break. Most likely this is gonna be followed by the Riri one-shot that I was gonna do for valentines day (muddo) or Hot for Shuri pt. 3 so I can finish that off. I need to stop writing these long ass plots. Motivation is so not it lmao, I want to write these longer stories but I think my cap is 4k and smut is such a challenge. Anyways make sure you take screen breaks. Also I really enjoy the comments and reblogs, I'm just trying to be more interactive with people on here. I hope you enjoy the fic!

Fic blurb: Poor Scotty she only knows one way to love. In abundance-

Warnings: Stalking lots of stalking, light smut (i'm tryin i'm tryin), swearing, Mentions of criminal activity, Reader is ambivalent to most of Scotty's activities.

Word count: 4.3k

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It was six p.m. on a Monday night. The cream-colored walls of the apartment added tension to a mood that sorely didn’t need it. An older woman in a bed lies down in a pale blue night dress. Her daughter presumably- finishes getting dressed. She fixes her hair and kisses her mother on the forehead. She tugs on the girl’s hand and fixes her face to say something. The thought she has on her mind is making her uneasy. 

“Viv, don’t be daft with her ok- just ask her out and be nice, and if she says no, move on don't get all silly this time. Promise.”

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“Hey, Phoebe! Where's that iced macchiato for Dean?” You strained your voice. The Saturday afternoon- summer heat was getting to you. Your work shirt and apron hug your body tight, and you thank the above for deodorant because the AC in the coffee shop was not doing you any favors. “Phoebe-” 

“That iced macchiato. I got you- I got you” Phoebe swerved around you and rang the bell, “Dean! Iced macchiato with two pumps of vanilla!” 

“You didn’t have to say two pumps-” Dean told your co-worker, marginally displeased. 

He adds a ‘thank you’ and goes to sit in the corner. He sits and stares at the glass door- like he's waiting on someone. A dark skin girl walks into view, she has on a plaid shirt with a green overcoat. How she survived in this heat was a mystery to you. Her hair is permed and styled with a bang in the front. Her head whips around looking for her friend until her eyes lock onto yours. Her eyes are wide, seemingly trying to memorize your face and features in five seconds. 

"Scotty!" Dean shouted- breaking the intense connection you two had. You peered over in the direction he was waving. His presence was demanding her attention, once ‘Scotty’ realized how long she was staring her face froze and her color drained. She pivoted in Dean’s direction and swiftly shuffled away toward him. 

You decided to play this game a little longer. You came from behind the counter to stock the shelves. You grabbed the box and a step ladder, and you muttered ‘excuse me’ and left your lips as you passed them. You unpacked the box and started putting stuff away, catching a bit of their conversation. 

“So- I found a way to get that four hundred quid” Dean sipped on his drink attempting to engage Scotty in conversation. While Scotty was busy drooling over how great you look in your apron; and how great it would be to feel under that apron, her mind wandered. 

She would be exhausted, coming back from a job that ran way too late and a client that ran his mouth way too much. She would round the corner and that same little black apron would be tied around your waist. You would be bent over the counter, and a sliver of fabric would be wound taught over a very gleaming gem. Obviously, it was Scotty’s gift from last year’s valentines day. Jazz would be crooning through your shared apartment. You would turn around slowly and ask her something awfully important. 

“Scotty?”

“Yes?”

“Yvonne still sends you letters?” Scotty does not take this well- you could see how her face morphed into a scowl. 

“Dean! Can you stop talking about her please?” Scotty begged Dean; her eyes began to water a little. You wondered why she had such an adverse reaction to that name. You felt a bit of pity in your stomach for the cute girl but were irked at the thought of someone treating her so badly. Your quick lapse of sympathy was proving to be your demise- you could feel the overpriced reusable cups falling out of your hand. 

“What the fuck!” Dean’s drink splatters on himself and Scotty. The clang being so egregiously loud sends you into a state of panic. 

“Fuck! I’m so sorry!” You profusely apologized and ran to get napkins. After you found some, you race over to their table to clean up some of the spills. During your furious cleaning, you didn’t hear Scotty muttering under her breath. Terrified at the

“Can I make you a free drink or something-” 

 “I think you’ve done enough- thank you.”

“Dean-” Scotty’s tiny voice paled in comparison to Dean’s irritation. Dean snatched the napkin from your hand and evenly split it with Scotty- he handed it to her gently. As you walk away Scotty grabs your hand and brings you down closer to her face.

“I’m sorry, he isn’t usually like this-” Scotty reassured you. You knew she meant well but the only thing you wanted to do was get out. Scotty tugged on your hand again, not letting you go to do your job. 

“No- I’m serious he just hasn't gotten laid in a while-” she whispers through an awkward smile and giggles. You are bewildered at the very arrogant man and his weird date- that your face starts to betray your friend at all-time service worker training.  

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable, didn’t I.” Scotty’s face drooped and she quickly dropped your hand. She looked pitiful- you had to say something.

“No, it’s ok I’m not that uncomfortable I’ve heard and been in worse.” That did not make her feel better- she was about to sob again. All that ran through her mind was all the different ways that people made her uncomfortable and how she was now in the same category.

“What have you bloody done now?! Scotts let’s go.” Dean got up and kissed his teeth and gave a look to Scotty. She gives you a final quiet sorry and they leave not without Scotty putting up a fuss with Dean to give you an apology.

 You let out a sigh- your daze was interrupted by Phoebe. 

“Wow- I’ve seen you fuck shit up but now you fucked shit right up” she gave her unneeded commentary. She made it up by giving you the rag so you could clean up the mess. 

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Mondays are the worst- you already took shit from asshole customers but today marks that day you’re sticking up for yourself. You thank heaven for your break in between Saturday’s mess. A very long and hot shower was taken to prepare yourself for Monday’s madness. An angry letter from your landlord is looking very promising in your future. Making breakfast is your next plan of action- you made a tuna melt and lock up.

You make your commute to the bus stop when you realized that the buses weren’t running today because of maintenance.  You remember they were talking about striking a week ago- you kissed your teeth and debated going to work today. 

You already passed that insurance place that might as well be a money laundering scheme. ‘They’re already stationed from Manchester to Hampshire they might as well be’ sounds off in your mind. They call excessively about an ‘alpha package’ and the only reason why is because your mum and dad signed up and put you under an emergency contact. 

Lately, the calls have been more frequent and stranger- you start to recall one-

You were rudely interrupted from your Sunday nap- dazed and confused you slide over to your bedside table.

“Hello?”  you asked tentatively. 

A light breath hitches, echoing crackly through the cheap phone.  

“Look- I don’t want the stupid alpha package. Stop fucking calling oh my god!” you slam the phone on the receiver ending it. You feel a pang of slight guilt, but you remember where it got you last time.

‘What the fuck is that’ a piercing noise startles you- prompting you to take a peek around the wall. There- in the parking lot is a person besides a green van. They hunch over looking at what you assume could be a phone that they smashed onto the gravel. Their baseball cap matches the color of the van-

‘Fuck-’ they see you- they see you. The decision was made to go to work, and you take off in a sprint. It was better to go to a crowded area than to lead the person to your house. 

you hear the engine starting- “Fuck!”  you can’t tell if it’s as loud as you think or if it’s just your heart beating out of your ears. Your mild sprint turns into a breakneck speed-

------------------------------------------------------

By the time you reach work it’s a quarter past nine- The door handle acts as your crutch as you hunch over trying to catch your breath. You see your reflection in the glass, your hair is frizzed and sweat lines your brow.

“Jesus, you look terrible- what the hell happened.” Your designated favorite, Maggy- she does her work, and you do yours it’s a lovely partnership.

“Thanks- why the hell are you here- you’re not on shift today.” You walk over to wash your hands and put on your apron. 

“Boss asked If I could come in today, said he’d pay me overtime at double.” A sigh left your lips. “No but what happened to you?”

“I think I saw someone getting rid of evidence.” She looked at you puzzled and slowly brought her fingers to her lips.

“No- I did not smoke a blunt.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.” 

“Positive?”

“Maggy- Im being serious.”

“We’ll talk about it later. Next in line, please!” You take a breath and recalibrate yourself to do your job. “Hi can take your order this morning.” The day keeps getting better- why is she here again? She was just embarrassed as you that day why couldn’t she have gone to another location- there’s one, two streets down.  

“I-I’m sorry, we were doing work on t-this building and they sent me to get them some coffee.”

“I get it you didn’t wanna walk far.”

“Y-yeah.”

She proceeded to tell you her order. You whipped it up in ten minutes and tapped on the bell. “Order for Scotty!” Her head popped and she sprinted over to the counter.

“I don’t see a macchiato?” you joked trying to lighten the mood and ease her nerves. 

“o-Oh he said he didn’t want anything.” The more she spoke the more her voice quieted. 

“You know you didn’t have to apologize again.”

“But I wanted to!“ as her voice climbed an octave, you made an ‘awe’ sound. Scotty pushed her chocolate croissant to you. 

“i-I want you to have it. If I told you when I was ordering, you would’ve said no. That’s if you’re not allergic to chocolate or gluten or- “her speech picked up speed. You think of your cold, soggy, and unappetizing tuna melt as you took the croissant from her hands; your stomach grumbled in awe. 

“Thank you, Scotty, that’s very thoughtful.” She smiles and giggles in delight. You tell her that if she stays any longer with you their coffee is going to go cold (and that she’s holding up the line but you do that gently). She shuffles out the door with a skip in her step and a high-pitched ‘bye!’ 

“You made her day.“ 

You paused in between a bite of your croissant. “Stop it-“ 

“It’s true! I think she has a little crush.” You rolled your eyes.   

“Whatever, I’ll let you enjoy your gift. I guess you’ll tell be about your run-in with a brigand some other time.” Your answer was the same as the last. 

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Scotty had become a regular at your job. For the past three weeks, she orders about four coffees and a chocolate croissant for you. You two have developed a sort of kinship- she’s so dedicated it’s endearing if you had to say so. She pops up on your breaks sometimes and eats lunch with you. 

 On occasions when you have the evening shift Scotty waits with you as you close up. Normally You two talk about your work but she decides to open up to you today. 

“Sooo you work in construction?”

“yeah-” Scotty’s getting better at answering you, she even looks you in the eye when you two conversate. 

“That sounds interesting where’s the site?”

“We’re just fixing up this flat for rent.” She tells you the location. You gasp-

“That’s just right across from me!”  

“Really?” If she wasn’t giving you one hundred percent of her attention to you before it’s at a hundred a fifty now. 

“Yeah! It’s so funny I can’t even imagine you lifting a hammer.”

“I even do electrical work.”

“You’re just so handy.” Scotty giggles as she beams with pride as you compliment her skill set. “Think I could get your number so I could call you if I need something fixed.”

You guess telling her telling you about her work is as deep as it’s going to get for now. Scotty gives you an erratic nod, and you two exchange phone numbers; Scotty’s through stuttered and broken words. Her alarm goes off signaling she has to get back to work.

“i-I can stay like I do on Saturdays, it’s fine my boss doesn’t mind, I swear.” She says urgently to you. You grab her hand and clasp it in yours. Her palm is rough, numerous healed scrapes and blisters cover it. 

“No, Scotty you have to back to work and so do I.” You two do this song and dance on almost every occasion though today felt very different. Her eyes start to water and she lowers her head. You steel yourself in order for both of you not to lose your jobs. “Scotty- Scotty look at me” she raises her head to look at you “We’re not going to war- I’ll see you tomorrow.” You end with a chuckle. Scotty seems placated by your laugh and reassurance and musters up a sentence.

“Can I call you, when I get home.” You let out a loud cackle and swiftly give her a kiss on the cheek. Scotty lets out a tiny whimper- “Just text me before, I don’t want to be asleep-“  

“Am I going to be disturbing you?-  

“Scotty! Go!” you practically shove her out the breakroom door and through the front door. She leaves you with a giant wave. 

You sigh in relief. That was one of the longest shifts you have ever had. You blame it on your anticipation for your call with Scotty tonight. The moment you hear the click of the locked door, you race home. 

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Reaching home and shutting your door. You go to your shower, scalding water as always. You don’t know why but you really like this girl. It doesn’t help that she looks at you like you hung all the stars in the sky. You run your hands down your neck to your nipples. They start to peak from the stimulation. You move your hand down to your pussy, but nothing really felt as good as those calloused hands against yours. The best thing is to towel off and do your skincare routine. 

You stare from the bed at your open window longingly. You check your phone 0 message- calling her first seems like a great idea but selfishly you want her to make the first move. The vibrator in your drawer is tempting- your pants are already off. Scotty’s call you bang your head against the headboard.  

The clock strikes eight and you toss and turn in your bed. Your restlessness leads to dragging your feet toward the AC panel. ‘Not working of course-‘ at least you have a reason to call- ‘No- No’ you don’t let your mind wander to the person haunting your dreams. It’s ridiculous what three weeks of nonstop affection, gifts, and heavy stares do to a person. You decide you need some fresh air, and the siren song of the cool breeze is taunting you. 

Your feet drag against the hardwood flooring towards the window. You open the window- ‘Fuck’. The car, the car it’s outside you shut the window and the curtains. ‘The fucking car it’s outside.’ Your legs are locked to the floor and your heart feels like it’s lurching out of your chest. ‘They’re gonna kill me- they’re gonna kill me.’ You feel like hell, nearly falling your way to the floor and crawling to your bed. Your heart won’t stop- it’s not supposed to stop but in this case, you would love it to slow down. You should’ve called your parents last week, they haven’t heard your voice in a while ‘Now they might not hear your voice at all.’

Bzzt! Bzzt! Your phone- oh my god- Scotty! You are so happy about Scotty’s resistance to instructions right now. You creep towards it making as little noise as possible. 

“Hey! It’s Scotty! Sorry about-“her voice booms through the speaker of the phone. Her nervousness is conveyed through her high-pitched voice. 

“Scotty- Scotty shh-“ 

“w-What happened?” she quieted down. 

“Someone-“ your throat starts choking up, and tears stream down your face. Every inhale you take tastes and smells of salts.

“Who?” 

your breath stutters- “Someone is outside my flat-“

“Who?”

“I don’t know who-“ you steady your speech to make a coherent sentence. “There was like someone dumping e-evidence, I think. I saw them smash a phone on the ground by a van- I don’t know but I think they’re criminals.

“Why do you think that?” Why is she dismissing you like this? Why is her voice so eerily calm. How is she thinking this is helping you?

“Because it’s the same fucking van is outside my fucking flat- what aren’t you fucking getting.” You sniffle loudly as you cradle the phone to your face.

“What color is it?” What-

“Fuck! Why do you- it’s green, the van is green, it’s outside-!”

“I’ll be there.” 

“Scotty?! Scotty no- stay there please!” your scathing whispers were only met with the dial tone. 

Scotty

Call the police

Call the police!

Don’t come to the flat please!

                            Read at 9:00pm 

What the fuck is wrong with her? 

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No but, what the fuck is wrong with Scotty. How does she keep getting herself into these situations? She knows it ended fairly well for her- why jinx that? She is infatuated with you but now knows that love should be a slow process- taking the time to get to know one another. 

The kiss you gave her today, she skipped-tripped and almost slipped on her way back to work. Which she never lied to you about or so she tells herself. She is a handyman but on the weekdays, she works at your favorite company. If you only knew the days, she would watch you from the maintenance van hoping to get a glimpse of you. Not really the first time she used her job to get leverage onto you. It wasn’t her fault that your parents signed up- she was doing her job trying to recruit a new customer. 

All those calls- Scotty, and her coworkers were amazed at every day- how she wore her red cap and the giggle before she took it off. Especially that Sunday one, she knew she shouldn’t have done it but when she heard your groggy hello, it was all worth it. She would’ve saved it- a wave of happiness rippled through ought her body broken by your loud swearing. As usual, a giggle left her mouth after the cap left her head- though her joyous moment was ruined when it wasn’t her work phone but her cell. 

She pondered for weeks on what to do. She prayed you never checked the caller id-but, the suspense weighed on her chest. So, one day on a particular Monday morning she decided to nip it in the bud. Destroying her phone- it was dramatic but so is Scotty.

Through destroying her phone she felt that she could start anew, court you the right way. Buy you treats, spend time, and learn more about you. But that kiss, your kiss- your lips were so soft, so different than when Dean would give her a kiss on the cheek. Scotty wanted to know more, feel more, and be more. Which is why she’s petrified and struggling to find a way to park this van and get to your flat by eleven. She told herself it was going to be quick, you two would be on the phone for an hour and she’d go home right after. 

There is a reason that people say old habits die hard.

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A loud knock at your door echoes through your apartment. You check to see if your cutlass is still under your bed-

“It’s Scotty-“ she said cautiously knowing you were in a heightened state. You paced over to your door. 

“Nobody’s out there with you?”

“Nobody.” You unlocked the door. Scotty’s hair was matted to her forehead from sweat, and she was shaking and out of breath. She stepped into your apartment, collapsed onto you, and buried her head in your neck. You felt her tears wet your neck, and her arms nearly crushed you from the strength of her hug. Hugging her back was mandatory- it felt so relieving to know that she was ok, the feeling was mutual. 

You were compelled to kiss her face, and she answered by pecking your neck gently. This was forbidden territory for her, she was tense but almost losing you gave her more than a bit of confidence. Scotty trailed her kisses down your neck and into your bosom. Nuzzling and nipping ever so softly, you let out a moan. Your nipples start to peek out from under your shirt, and she further squeezes you into her. Running her hands down your back and into your sleep shirt, her cold hands snap you from your trance.

You coo her name into her ear. “No- no I don’t want to let you go.” She pleads with you. “You don’t have to I just want to check for the van.”

 “I didn’t see it when I came up.” You stood your ground and her arms finally let you go as you clasp her hand. You two walk over to the window, lo and behold Scotty was right it was gone. It was safe, you were safe, just one thing. 

You take Scotty’s hand and trail it up your chest cupping it over your breast- her palm recoils from your touch. “I thought you didn’t want to let me go?” “I don’t!” she answers as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “i-I wanted to ask you out first. When we got on the phone but uhm I’m not blaming you for any of this, the van and you were crying-” You bring her palm up to her lips to quiet her.

“Scotty, I want to go on a date with you.” Her eyes light up and her mouth crinkles at the sides from how hard she’s smiling. “Just one request though, can you stay the night? Please?” Scotty starts hyperventilating again, she wants to say yes but you have a feeling that something important is stopping her. 

“I can but-” there it is “I would have to leave, and I don’t want you to think I was ditching you or something. My mother is at home by herself and I have to take care of her but I don’t want to leave you alone, at least for tonight.” Your heart melted at her confession; she was finally opening up to you. It was also divided, her mother at home by herself when Scotty had rushed to your flat, you shook your head. 

“Does that mean no?”

“No, it means if you’re gonna stay, you need to take a shower. I have spare clothes.” Her attitude perks up again, and you start to see your regular Scotty again. She practically skips off to shower and when she emerges; she flops down next to you on the bed. You make a come here gesture with your fingers and Scotty happily rolls towards you, wet hair soaks your pillowcase. 

“You were quick.”

“I wanted to be done before you went to sleep.” Again, she says it like these are concrete facts. If she only knew the indirect charmer she was. 

“Somehow, I don’t feel like sleeping.” Scotty twitches slightly but stays silent. “You don’t wanna say anything now?” She turns her head away from you, and you turn it back towards you. You tuck your head underneath her chin, and your nose nuzzles her throat. 

“Still Nothing?” Her neck gets warmer, you feel the heat radiate onto your face. Her actions are catching up to her and nearly fucking you in the kitchen standing up is the least. Scotty called your name.

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” Scotty crashed her lips into yours. This is what it came to, a complete delight. Your lips felt even better on hers and tasted like chocolate, just like Scotty dreamed of. She slipped her tongue into your mouth and her hands snuck underneath your shirt massaging your nipples. Scotty’s calloused hands provided a level of friction that could not be replaced. She climbed on top of you, putting her weight on your forearms, caging you in between your arms.  

You spread your legs for her, and she took the hint and slotted her hips in between yours. She subsequently peels your shirt off your body. Her mouth trails down your chest and begins to suckle. Your breath hitches as Scotty looks up from your breast. She analyzes you and decides that her favorite part of your face is your mouth. She loves kissing it, the way she nipped it, and a whine escaped your lips. 

Your favorite part of her face is her eyes, they’re glossed over with hunger. For you and you only- “unh Scotty- lower please.”, she nodded and got to work.