#ok i'm gonna shut up or i'll talk forever

[sollucets]

I warned you, should you open fic requests I’d be coming straight for your inbox with AkkAyan. I’m obsessed with on our way up/the sky full of stars and I wondered if you’d be willing to write something of it we didn’t get to see like their cooking date from chapter 4 or dinner at Akk’s house from chapter 3

tiis do you know i love you dearly

context from my fic on our way up:

The thing is, he and Akk had spent last night doing crimes against the culinary arts (jointly trying to make stir-fried basil pork in the tiny dorm room kitchen in a small disaster that ended in takeout) + The disaster at his dorm had been almost entirely Akk’s fault, and he’ll die on that hill.

so! as requested i took this briefly referenced incident and proceeded to project my personal (lack of) cooking skills on akk for about 1k(?? these things happen) of fluff. this ficlet brought to you by my best friend thaicookbooktv (and my milestone event. i guess)

💜

"Can I trust you with that?"

Akk glances up from the two eggs he's just started frying to glare at his boyfriend. There's a smug look on Aye's face as he leans against a counter on the other side of the cramped dorm kitchen (and thus within potential grabbing reach) and uses a little bowl to crush up some garlic and peppers (making grabbing probably a bad idea). "I know how to make eggs, Ayan."

"If you say so," Aye tells him, singsong. "I've never once seen you cook."

"That doesn't mean anything." Returning his gaze to the pan, Akk startles to see them more cooked than they should be and hurriedly, awkwardly gets them flipped before Aye gets to pretend it's evidence.

If it'd been anyone else, Akk might have admitted to the truth, which is that he does (sort of) know how to make eggs, and he can grill meat if he's invited to barbecue, but much more is beyond him. He thinks he could be good at it, with time, but he’d never learned to cook much at home, and at school he’d had so much to do that it had always been faster and easier and cheaper to have cafeteria leftovers or something instant. 

But it isn’t anyone else, it’s Aye, and when he’d asked all earnest if they could cook together when he visited, Akk had gritted his teeth and then spent most of last night and the part of the bus ride over that he had decent data on looking up recipes. 

So it’s particularly infuriating that Aye seems to have figured him out right away anyway. Akk scowls down at his eggs. 

“All set over here,” Aye says, then snorts audibly. “What’s that look for? Did the egg insult your parents or something?” 

“Shut up.”

Aye brings his bowl over to Akk’s side of the kitchen and sets it next to the other ingredients on the counter to the right of the stove. He’d only been banished over there in the first place for being distracting; Akk probably should’ve known he’d manage it anyway. 

A moment later, there’s a light breeze against the back of his neck, and Akk jerks against the tickle, barely suppressing a yelp. He’s not actually holding the pan, just his spatula, so the worst that happens to the eggs is them getting slightly jostled, but he aims a blind elbow in the direction of Aye anyway, making contact with his ribs. “Jackass.” 

“Violent authoritarian,” Aye responds, cheerful if slightly strained. “Those look good."

Once the eggs are safely off the heat, Aye hands him a larger pan, shuffling some things around on the little counter once there’s enough space. “Turn the heat up a little higher and put a little oil in there, okay?” 

Akk glances over for the bottle of vegetable oil and grabs it. His recipe-searching had turned up the idea, but Aye isn’t using one, and Akk does not know how much ‘a little’ is. He sighs, sends a sideways look at Aye where he’s putting the egg pan in the sink, and tentatively pours some oil in. 

“More than that.”

Frowning, Akk does as told. When he checks Aye’s reaction, he finds his boyfriend leaning on his hip against the counter and holding the bowl of vegetables again. 

“Were you nervous about this?” Aye asks, tone a too-familiar combination of fond and condescending.

“Why would I be,” says Akk, too quickly. Always too quickly. That’s something Aye’s pointed out before, he should know better. 

“‘Cause you wanted to impress me? I understand.” 

Akk rolls his eyes, keeping his attention on the oil where it’s heating up. “You’re extra annoying today. Is it a special occasion?” 

“Of course it is,” says Aye, tone gone painfully sincere. “My boyfriend came to see me.”

When Akk reacts far too late to keep a smile off his face, Aye pokes his cheek. “I’m happy, too,” he coos. “Now scoot, please. This next part has to happen kind of fast.”

Akk shuffles out of the way, letting Aye move in front and pour his little bowl into the pan, and sends a baleful look at Aye’s back. He’s looking far too cool in this situation; it has to be fixed. 

Decided, Akk moves until he’s right behind his boyfriend, then hooks his chin over his shoulder, looping both arms around his waist, and glances down at the pan. With the bowl poured out, something looks a little suspicious in the garlic-to-chili pepper ratio. “Aye,” Akk says, trying to make sure his breath hits the skin of Aye’s neck over his t-shirt, “Did you put enough spice in?” 

Annoyingly, Aye takes this without much in the way of reaction, only leaning back into Akk’s hold, and doesn’t even flinch. He reaches out for the bowl of meat and says, amused, “The neck is your weakness, not mine, Bigfoot.”

“That’s not an answer."

“Hey, who's the one of us that actually knows how to make it?” 

“I could figure it out,” Akk says mutinously, dropping his face all the way to Aye’s shoulder in defeat and speaking into his skin. It’s not his fault Aye is apparently some kind of cooking expert who’s never needed a recipe in his life. 

Aye laughs, just audible over the suddenly-loud sizzling sound of what Akk assumes is him adding something else to the meat. “I’m sure you could, baby, you’re smart. You just haven’t had much practice.”

“I help at home,” Akk retorts, offended. 

“I know, I know.” Aye’s shoulder moves, presumably stirring, as he continues, “You don’t need to worry about it. I’ll cook for you, so long as you always do the dishes.” 

Squeezing Aye’s waist just that bit too hard in retribution, Akk scoffs. “As if. I’ll practice more. I’m not doing your dishes for the rest of our lives.”

The sizzling gets a little louder, and Aye doesn’t respond. Akk blinks, lifts his head, and sees Aye frozen over the stove, one hand out on a bottle of soy sauce and the other not moving a spatula at all. “What?” 

“You said—” Aye starts, sounding awed. “You said ‘the rest of our lives’.”

“Oh.” Akk swallows on the impulse to deny it and just— lets it sit. Hides his face in Aye’s shoulder again and leaves it there, feels his ears heating up. What can he say? They’ve made the joke before, about their pins and wedding rings. It’s stupid, they’re teenagers, they’ve gone too fast, and he meant it, or it wouldn’t’ve slipped out.

Gratifyingly, Aye seems just as unable to speak for a moment. Eventually, he stutters, “I— that— sounds good to me,” and then, “I love you,” and then, “Oh, shit, the pork.” 

[aezuria]

hiii i love ur writing sm!! i was wondering if u would do leo valdez x reader headcanons? ty!!!

*ੈ✎ keep your head still, i'll be your thrill

—all the small things, blink-182

content: leo valdez x reader

warnings: cursing again

librarian's annotations: the title has no connection to the hcs but it came up while i was writing this also IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER 🙏🙏🙏

super clingy i do not make the rules

oh you thought you were gonna get up and be productive?? not today!

fuck everyone else tbh

LOVEEES gossip sessions with u

hes so invested in all the drama u have

probably laying on his stomach and swinging his feet and gasping incredulously. "what!? no she did not..."

got very pouty that you did not invite him to the girls night bc he didnt want to "miss out on the tea" (lwk stealing from my own work oops)

who can blame him tbh

LOVE LOVES DANCING

loves teaching u too (even if u suck)

like imagine him holding your waist and moving you to the beat as you fumble along, his chest pressed up against your own

GOOD LORD

"forward, back, left- there you go," he murmured into your ear, looking down at your feet. you stepped on his shoes a lot more than you should've; did he ever think that his proximity was why you were messing up!?

"you suck at this, don't you?" he laughed, but twirled you around anyway.

"did you ever think you're just a shit teacher?"

"rude!"

also this man was born a star

can probably hit super high notes as if its nothing

ok so we all know how hes a genius right

oh my GOD imagine him explaining how his stuff works and using words you're sure don't even exist and he's so into it and he just sounds so SMART

intelligence is so attractive why does no one talk abt that

you wanted to watch him work on the engine, so you pulled up a stool next to him. you stared at his side, his tank top dirty with grease and sticky with sweat. how long had he been working since you got here?

you'd get mad at him for not taking a break later. right now? you were admiring the view. who wouldn't?

"hey leo?"

he hummed in response, still hyper-focused on the engine.

"how does all that work, exactly?" you were never one for machines—good thing you have a mechanic boyfriend!

he looks to you, a happy glimmer in his eyes. "you really wanna know? so basically— this part connects to that part and then..."

you don't know how long you've been zoned out, too busy staring at his perfect

"y/n?" he finally realizes you haven't been paying attention. "you with me, now?" he raises an eyebrow with a grin on his face.

"huh? what?" you straightened up, fumbling over your words. "yeah! why wouldn't i be?" you tried to act as if you weren't just ogling him seconds before.

"oh y'know.. cause you were checking me out." he winked, leaning back against the engine as he put himself on display. "i mean, you obviously couldn't help it. i mean, look at me!"

someone humble him

its not like he doesn't do the same tho

if he accidentally walks in on you he'd be like "oh my gods-! sorry!" and cover his eyes with his hands, but his fingers are parted so he could still look through. literally the 🫣 emoji

"GET OUT!"

"OKAY I'M GOING DON'T HIT ME- OW!"

he is SUPER ticklish and you WILL use this to your advantage

esp his ears

one time you touched them out of curiosity cause theyre pointer than average and he was like "eek!"

pause

"aww i didn't know you could make that sound!" you poked some more fun at him because that was adorable

"shut up!"

another time he's laying on you, ruining your plans of getting up early and being active. you tried rolling out from underneath him but his arms snake around you like a vice, squeezing a groan out of you.

"leo get off!" you tried shoving him off, but that didn't work either. he simply buried his face into your neck, mumbling a tired no.

you really had shit to do, so you resorted to the last possible tactic. "i didn't wanna have to do this..." you warned. (you so wanted to do this)

you slipped your hands under his shirt and started tickling his stomach, effectively getting him writhing off you with laughter.

"stop-! that tickles!" he tried doing the same back, but he was squirming far too much.

ok real talk now

love loves staying up late with you until its past midnight and you guys are just rambling about random topics. he's just so relaxed with you, his heart feels so full and there's no space anymore, so his bottled up emotions spill out

which is usually a closely-guarded secret because he's just the funny guy of the group, right?

what does he know about feelings? isn't it his job to just keep everyone else happy? joking about everything will take away the pain, won't it?

(it doesn't)

"i don't know, i just- feel like i don't really fit in with everyone. they all have these cool powers, and i'm just.. me." he laughed dryly, face devoid of his usual happiness as he stared at the ceiling. "sometimes, i feel like you could do so much better. but at the same time?" his voice lowered as he rolled onto his side, staring into your eyes. "i want to keep you to myself. i really, really don't want to lose you."

you were glad he finally opened up to you, but your heart ached at the way he thought of himself. how could he not see how highly everyone thought of him, especially you?

"just you? leo, you're the coolest person i know. you're so, so smart, you can fix just about anything, you're funny, you're kind, you can cook; what's not to love?" you smiled softly. you could go on and on about this man. for him to think that he was the lucky one? it was quite the opposite.

"and you don't have to worry," you whispered, cuddling closer to him and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. "i'll always be with you."

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

I need a oral F! Reader receiving hanma mini smut so bad😭❤

Nonnyyyy I just discovered my obsession for this asshole (but in the best way???). I hope you like this. Thanks for dropping by & come back anytime!

C/W ::: Hanma x F.reader, M->F oral, M->masturbating, language and overuse of italics, google translate because I'm one of those people (if I botched it in ANY way, please tell me and I'll fix it) "Watashi no hana" = my blossom, "hana" = blossom.

WC ::: less than 600

The slurping sounds Hanma was making between your legs was overly dramatic. Overly dramatic and so deliciously sinful. He wasn't just going down on you. Oh, no. No no no. He was savoring you. He was going above and beyond, devouring every inch of your cunt like if he stopped, you would disappear from his life forever.

He had you on your belly. Face down. Ass straight up in the air. His face planted firmly between your sticky thighs. You made the mistake (kinda?!) of looking back at him and the look in his eyes was nothing short of completely glazed over. He was totally pussy drunk. You had to giggle at how he had the fucked out face. His honey-colored orbs practically crossed in his head.

"Wh- fffuckkk, watashi no hana, you taste ... like ... like fuckin' heaven. He forgot all about you giggling at him and dove back into your slit. Hanma kissed your clit, tending to it so gently you thought you were going to scream.

"God, Hanma." You gasped when he sucked on your clit. "That feels so good."

He hummed against you, the vibrations of his voice only adding to your pleasure. "You expected less from me? Y'know I'm good at eatin' your pussy, hana. Why would I ever deny you the pleasure? Unless you're being a brat. Then you're the one who's gonna choke on my dick, not the other way around. Not - no, you don't have a dick. Never mind. Shut up."

You laughed at him, but he just growled and went back to languidly stroking his tongue on your slit and your clit. "No more talking. Just feel." Hanma pulled back from you, his lips and chin glistening with your juices. He flipped you over so you were on your back.

At some point, he'd pulled his cock out. He stroked it slowly, watching you get comfortable on the bed.

"Don't you want to fuck me?" You asked, pouting.

"Mm. Yes. But first, I want you to cum on my face." Hanma laid down a ways from you, pushing your legs apart. He put his mouth on you again, one arm hooked around your thigh to keep you in place. His other hand was wrapped around his cock, jerking himself off. You were so turned on by the sight of him laying there, face buried in your cunt. He was so desperate for your pleasure that he was getting off on it.

Your orgasm came on quickly. You grabbed a fistful of his black and blond hair, tugging as you felt the waves of pleasure crash over you.

He moaned into your twitching pussy, cumming all over his hand the same time you soaked his face.

"Oh Han, that's ok. It's ok. We can wait a bit." You waved for him to come up and lay with you.

Hanma wiped his face off with his shirt and crawled up the bed, collapsing on top of you. "Sorry?" He said, kissing your neck.

"It's fine. I don't mind waiting." You smiled.

"Wait for what, hana?" He quirked an eyebrow.

"Um, re-refractory ... period?" Saying that, you hoped you didn't embarrass him.

"Refractory period? What the actual fuck is that?" He said, grabbing your arms, pinning them above your head and grinning down at you.

You giggled. "Well, you know, the time it takes to, you know ... get it up again."

"That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard anyone say." You looked down, and it appeared to be the dumbest shit you've ever said

Taglist ::: @viburnt @arlerts-angel @kazutora-kurokawa @darkstarlight82

[aqours]

do you think ashley and andrew would have kids

(pre-emptive mentions for abortion and child abuse)

i've talked about this extensively with a friend and i'm very excited i can share this now actually!!! please let me answer this with basically a mini fanfic summary

two actually. it's incredibly fucked up lmao. ashley gets pregnant and her response is IMMEDIATLY oh yeah no fuck that i'm getting an abortion but because of all the demonic satanic shit that fetus has literally been influenced by otherworldly energy and it just doesn't take. like literally not. ashley goes to get an abortion and by the end the abortionist is dead, starts heavily drinking, at one point she just pays a guy to punch her as hard as he can in the stomach a few times but it doesn't work so anyways that's how their first kid is born! ashley fucking hates them and makes that clear every day of that probably future anti-christ's life. she pushes him down the stairs at one point and he's just in the couch unharmed afterwards, abandons him in the middle of nowhere on the interstate and when she gets home there he is watching tv. she just groans and just accepts this is life now and any attempt to get rid of this kid is gonna be thwarted by demonic looney toons bullshit.

she hates the fact this kid gets in the way of her time with her brother SO MUCH its unreal and probably tried using him as a tar soul for a demon offering once but it didn't work since he's also partially demon (she had a backup guy just in case though). at one point though he asks "hey can you make me a little brother or sister" and her response is "i fucking hate having you why the FUCK would i have a second one" to which he's like "if i have someone to play with i'll stop bothering you as much-" and that's when ashley stops taking birth control without telling andrew

she actually treats her daughter MUCH better because not only did she plan this one but she tries to spoil her to one-up mommy too. she tries to spoil her daughter just so she can one-up her mom's memory of being a shitty parent to her by heavily favoring her second-born instead. like if the first kid asked if she could drive them to the candy store her response would be "fuck off and die." her daughter does though? well she doesn't drive her but she does go "awww sorry kid, gonna go on a date with your dad soon- but here's an extra $20 if you wanna go walk, get yourself something nice ok?" her daughter is three things: yet another way to tether andy, a way to make her first kid shut up, and perhaps most importantly to her a way to one-up her mom's spirit in hell

andrew DOES try to be a good dad especially in the routes where he's more assertive but he still sucks shit lmao. it's pretty obvious he's also not equipped for this emotionally or mentally and his co-dependence with his sister takes priority over all. they both THINK they're better parents than mr. and mrs. graves but the apple failed to fall far from the tree it's just another awful generation of this family who themselves will probably just continue to perpetuate poison forever

tl;dr: yes they do and its awful. poison simply produces more poison in the end

[love-islike-abomb]

⚡Thunderstruck ⚡

Roman reigns x OC lyric

Warnings: it's LONG!!! Part 2 with smut? Errors I may have missed

Tag list: @angelreigns444 @acknowledge-reigns @niknakbucks92 @windhamsrotunda @weirdgirl16355 @queengreenarrowmia89

_______

I had been wrestling Carmella when I heard a loud pop and my leg gave out. It felt like someone had kicked me in the back of my ankle! Fuck my Achilles tendon!! I couldn't walk on it, my foot just gave out "son of a bitch!" I yelled watching the ref throw up the x sign. I cried from both pain and sadness realizing I was gonna be out for a while.

The rest of the bloodline had come out and Roman picked me up and carried me to the trainers room while we waited for the doctor to come in. When the doctor came in the adrenaline had worn off and pain was setting in and I started yelling for someone to give me something.

All they could do was put me in the back of an ambulance and take me to the hospital. Roman road with me in the ambulance, trying to comfort me but I was so upset and in so much pain I couldn't focus on anything he said. The ambulance ride seemed like it took forever but it was only maybe 5 minutes. Pain does that to you. They got me into a room and the ER Dr. Came in.

"lyric I'm sorry but your Achilles is completely ruptured. You're gonna need surgery" the Dr said

I felt tears sting my eyes again, realizing I was probably gonna be out for at least a year. "Hey it's gonna be ok" I heard Roman say but the tears started flowing. "She did this on purpose!" I said feeling anger boil up inside of me.

"lyric you don't know that! It's the pain talking" he said walking out to the hallway "is anyone gonna get her something for pain? We've been here 20 minutes and yall have just pussy footed Around!" He said. I knew there was a reason I loved him.

A nurse came rushing in and put something in my IV "Better?" He asked "still hurts I just don't give a fuck now" I smiled. "there's that smile I love to see" he grinned like a Cheshire cat. He gave me a soft kiss before the doctor came in "lyric we're gonna get you into surgery tomorrow. For now we'll keep you as comfortable as we can! You can have morphine every 4 hours and we'll give you some nausea medicine just in case" the Dr said.

"thanks doc" I said finally feeling relief from the pulsating pain in my leg. "Get some rest while you can baby girl. I'll be here when you wake up I'm not going anywhere" he said as he kissed my forehead.

The next morning

"lyric wake up. We're gonna take you into surgery" I heard someone say. I opened my eyes to see a nurse looking at me. "Wheres my husband?" I asked

"right here baby" he smiled walking through the door. "Just went to get some snacks and a drink. I'll see you when you wake up" he said giving me a Kiss. The nurse wheeled me out of my room towards the OR and even though I knew I was gonna be out for a while I couldn't help but think about my return already. I wanted to come back with a bang!!

7 months later

"you're Achilles is healing much faster then we thought! A few more weeks and you should be able to come back" the trainer said.

"really?" I smiled.

"yes!" The trainer smiled "and with survivor series coming up I think you'll be back just in time for it"

I smiled widely "i have some ideas to go over with Hunter before I come back"

I walked down the hall to hunters office and knocked on the door "come in"

I opened the door and walked in, shutting it behind me. "lyric! How's recovery going?" He asked.

"well that's what I wanted to talk to you about. The trainer says Im healing faster then expected and that I should make survivor series" i smiled. "I have some ideas i wanna go over with you"

"we have Roman going against LA knight for the title and Carmella is gonna be in knights corner" hunter smirked. "Perhaps to knock Carmella out of her game for your title match you could be the surprise to be in Romans corner"

"that's actually better then what inhad in mind except i wanna change a few things about my gimmick. I want my theme song to be thunderstruck by acdc and I wanna dress how i feel comfortable. I wanna be the badass rocker chick that I am!" I said

"I like the way you think lyric. Let me talk to a few people and I'll let you know in a few days what we're gonna do. If you wanna tell Roman about this-" I cut him off

"I want him to be surprised to!" I said giving him a knowing smile.

Hunter smiled back "coming to your husband's rescue! I like it!"

"let me know what they say and I'll see you later" I said standing up and shaking hunters hand.

"I'll text you so it stays between us" hunter said.

3 weeks later (survivor series)

Knight, Carmella and Roman were already in the ring. My nerves were through the roof but i was excited. My wife was gonna carmella slapping roman and my music was supposed to hit. I watched and i waited. Seconds ticked by like hours.

I knew I was gonna be angry for real at carmella slapping him but the fans didnt know that. It would make for a good visual and add to the storyline. I saw her swing at him and my blood boiled and then the opening cords of my music hit.

"who is this?" Michael Cole said on commentary

I took off down the ramp towards carmella and saw the smile that formed on my husbands face

"that's Roman reigns' wife lyric!" Michael Cole yelled. "She's been off on injury for 9 months!"

I slid in the ring and smiled and Roman who looked at Carmella and knight and smiled "y'all in some deep shit now!" Carmella ran at me but I side stepped her and she fell over the top rope And out of the ring. I followed giving Roman a chance to handle knight. He did his famous roar and took knight out with a spear.

I grabbed a mic and looked At Carmella "hey Carmella! Guess what?" I said trying to catch my breath "you've been ⚡thunderstruck⚡' I yelled as I threw the mic.

Roman stepped out of the ring and wrapped an arm around my waist pulling me in for a kiss, earning us a huge pop from the crowd. He pulled away and leaned towards my ear "that pussy is mine later!" He growled as I bit my lip.

[birdmenmanga]

please talk more about chobits. i am so mentally ill about this show

okay disclaimer that I've never watched the Chobits anime and I've only read the manga. I dunno if they changed any important details but I doubt they changed anything too major (maybe I should check the anime out at some point?)

Usually I like to format my essays in a coherent post but whatever. That's too hard rn. I'm just going to write about it in no particular order with no screencaps of the manga to prove my point you guys are just gonna have to take my word for it

I think it's SO funny that like. The huge dilemma at the end centered around android facial recognition. Like yes this series was written like 20 years ago and yeah it was writing about a time that's basically our present day, and technology has advanced impossibly fast that even their imagined cutting-edge technology looks horribly outdated at this point.

Without the ability to recognize each other, we will only ever be objects. When a robot can recognize your face, only then can love ever be possible. Hideki, did you know you just opened up a whole new world of data scraping and targeted advertising in your universe?

I don't really blame CLAMP though. I think it was never really about robots as technology but rather robots as a reflection of humanity. Like Minoru, who built a Persocom modeled after his sister who passed away in order to cope with his grief, like the baker who loved his old Persocom so much he married her... it's a story dreaming about human connection, how we're always longing for relationships.

Mixed feelings about Chi's backstory with Freya Ichiro and Chitose. On one hand it's very touching that these two scientists just straight up built their own daughters, and naturally they would build their daughters with the ability to love, and it REALLY feels in character (where the character is the field of computer science) and they would forget about biases in the computer's collected data (daily experiences of their robot daughters) that Freya would accidentally fall in love with Ichiro. That's so plausible it hurts. I also think it's mildly funny/heartbreaking that Freya's grief made her fucking shut down like here's that weird intersection between technology and personhood of androids like girl what!! you're like oh no my android is shutting down because of an endlessly recursive loop... ok then close the loop??? edit your daughter's code??? You are literally the only doctors for her in the world? you're just going to let her die like this?????

By the way I don't know if I'm using the correct names for everyone but I'm sure you can figure out who I'm talking about based on context anon

While I think that ^^^ whole thing is sad but also hilarious in a kind of narmy way, I do think that Minoru and the baker's story were excellently executed and are genuinely heartbreaking. The baker's story most of all. I cry every time I read the part where the press is harassing him and asking him about his dead wife and he goes "Stop it. Stop referring to her as 'my wife' or 'my android'. She had a name, and it was Yumi." That was sooo good bestie I go insane every single time... like that IS so terribly realistic, like you can say it's a metaphor for dementia where the person you love can no longer remember who you are, or who they are for that matter, but it's also such a real facet of technological decay where eventually... no matter how much you love a feature, or a machine, or an app, or a whatever... these are all things that are built and maintained by others. And one day that maintenance will stop. And one day it'll go down forever.

Minoru's story too... when Yuzuki (Yukari? I forgor :skull:) tries to hack into the government database by herself and almost gets shut down he gets really mad at her and she goes "sorry I know I'm supposed to be your dead sister and you would be super heartbroken if i died again I'll be more careful" and he goes "no man like yeah you did start off as a horrible coping mechanism but you're a new person now, with your own life experiences and not just a copy of my sister, you matter to me because you're you, not because you're a replacement for someone"

I think that's a theme that comes up a lot, actually. I think this series is meant to address the fear that technology will replace humans not only in terms of jobs and stuff, but even in terms of human connection and affection. Why love me when you can love your perfect android wife who will never argue back? And I think the answer that the series provides is, is that really the horrible future you think it is? Because the truth is that humans are capable of love, capable of so much love... we love and we lose and we love again, we pack bond with just about anything out there... is that really such a horrible thing?

Conceptually I think it's interesting, but once again, I feel like CLAMP's vision failed to accurately account for how technology actually is in real life. The amount of data harvesting that needs to be done, likely unconsensually, is insane, and probably renders this whole operation deeply unethical on a level that they didn't even consider. Yeah I think it's great that we can love robots and that we can make robots that love us back. Not in our capitalist hellscape though.

I haven't read it recently, but I don't think there was ever a point that I felt like the pacing of the story was bad. Yeah, there are a ton of detours and side stories, but they all felt very relevant to the main story.

I know it's like. Chi's story or whatever. But also it feels like Hideki is also sidelined sometimes. It sometimes feels like he was just a necessary component to get this story to work, and without Chi he isn't anything (he's just ken kind of vibe). He's never brought up in CLAMP's other stories while Chi is (multiple times, even! TRC and Kobato I believe), even though the Chobits story is from his perspective. i dunno lol

I also think the art of Chobits is gorgeous. Among CLAMP's works I think it's probably second place, after Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle (thought I might be forgetting some; it's not like I have a definitive ranking LOL) and tied with Angelic Layer

[michygranger23]

Hi!! Ok I said I was gonna talk about this since yesterday, but I went to see a movie, so that happened (I had a lot of fun tho lol). BUT!! I'm finally able to talk about the new AU's I promised about!! In this post I'll focus first on the Maleficent one, the next one will be the Steven Universe AU. Anyways, ONTO THE RAMBLE!! (Note: Wilbur is used as his c! self, not CC! one) "Discduo Maleficent AU"

Ok!! So, this AU will be mainly a pos!discduo AU (since that's what I do best and like more lol). I'm gonna go with the life-action movie since that's my favorite one haha.

In this case, Dream will have the role of Maleficent. He's a winged fairy and has the same type of wings as Maleficent, he has horns and his nails are sharp.

Anyways, Dream is an orphan boy that lives in the Moors, a place that all magical creatures live that don't follow under the human kingdom goverment that is besides them. Dream has the same powers as Maleficent.

Anyways, this part I'm still debating about it, but it's about Wilbur's role. I have two options here: 1) He takes Stefan's place, where he meets Dream in the Moors after trying to steal from it (he's an orphan boy like Stefan). Dream and Wilbur become friends and spent a lot of time together (not a ship lol/lh), but Wilbur's obssession with politics and power make him grew distant to the Moors until he no longer visits after many years later. And just like in the movie, the king (I think Schlatt fits here lol) asks his followers to bring the head of the winged creature that attacked him. And Wilbur cuts Dream's wings and becomes king. Some time later, he marries Sally (a princess from another kingdom) and has Tommy as his son.

OR!!

2) Basically the same as point 1, EXCEPT!! he's already a prince!! He's the son of Philza and Kristen Minecraft that rule the kingdom, Techno as his twin brother. I'm still debating a lot of details with this option, but basically is that Tommy would be Philza's son instead of Wilbur's lol.

But anyways, regarding which option we can go for, Dream is mad at the kingdom for the betrayal he suffered, and as revenge, he curses Tommy when he's just a baby to prick his finger with a spinning wheel and sleep for eternity at the age of 16, only able to be woken up if he receives a true love's kiss.

Regarding which option, the king (Philza or Wilbur) sends Tommy away to live in the forest for sixteen years and a day with the three magical fairies (I was thinking it could be Puffy, Hannah and Sylvee).

Tommy grows up without knowing he's the cursed prince, and he lives happily with his three aunts, he's a loud, chaotic and adventoruous boy who has a sailor's mouth most of the time lol, but has a really good heart.

During Tommy's growth, Dream always watched him from the shadows, just like in the movie, and he always saved him when the fairies almost got him killed. Punz (he would be in Diaval's role as the crow and Dream's right hand) would mock dream how he always saves the kid that he himself cursed to sleep forever, but Dream just tells him to shut up.

This can be different from the movie the way they do it, but Tommy and Dream finally meet up in person one day. I think Tommy would crack jokes about how it was creepy that Dream always followed Tommy in the shadows during his childhood, but he would indeed know Dream has been with him always, and maybe he thinks Dream is like his magical brother figure, since that's what he felt to him.

And just like how Maleficent and Aurora bonded over one another, the same happens with Dream and Tommy, they have a good time together during the years before the fatal day. One day Dream tries to break the curse over Tommy since he doesn't want it to happen anymore, but his own rage and words backfired him and the curse can't be lifted in any way, shape or form.

Meanwhile in the kingdom, whether it's Phil or Wilbur, they prepare to attack and kill Dream once and for all.

One day in the forest, Tommy meets a girl (Molly :D!) she's a princess from another kingdom that came to this kingdom to talk with the king by her father's instructions. She was gonna go see him in a month, just a bit after Tommy's birthday, which gave them time to know each other and have a good time together. Punz watched from afar as a crow and told Dream that this could be the girl that could save Tommy from the eternal sleep, but Dream tells him that there's no such thing as true love, he cursed him that way because it didn't exist (something he regrets deeply now)

When Tommy's 16 birthday was a day away, Dream told Tommy that he could come live with him in the Moors if he really wanted to. He told his aunts about his plans, but he soon was revealed the truth about everything. He went and confront Dream about what he said, and he was distraught to hear that Dream was the same guy that put a curse on his life. So he left to the castle to meet his family. Dream ordered Punz to find the girl before it was too late.

Tommy is able to reach the castle after a day's travel (on his 16th birthday), but he's locked up in a room so he can't prick his finger (the spinning wheels were burned and destroyed and put in the dungeons of the castle like in the movie). But the curse has to be done, so like in the movie, Tommy falls into a trance and the curse makes his way clear to the dungeons to fulfill the curse.

Dream and Punz managed to find Molly and they rushed to the castle before the curse fulfills, but just as the sun was setting and were arriving to the castle, Tommy pricks his finger and falls asleep.

They snuck into the castle and let Molly give Tommy a kiss as their last attempt to wake him up. But it doesn't work. And just as in the movie, Dream tells Tommy that he's deeply sorry about what he did to him, that he was angry at himself and the world when he cursed him, and that he swear to protect him for the rest of his days, and gives him a kiss in the forehead (platonic only!!/srs). And with this, Tommy wakes up.

I still don't have a good last conflict idea, but basically at the end Tommy and Dream live in the Moors together and Tommy is crowned as both king of the Moors and the Human Kingdom, unifying the kingdoms finally.

AND THAT'S WHAT I HAVE LOL!! This is just an information post!! I'm planning to extend the AU and talk about it deeply and maybe even make it into a fic!! Let me know your opinions about this!! I would also love to hear your suggestions for the points I need help with, I want to see what your ideas are :D!!

[shitty-davesprite-daily]

EB: hey dave sprite!

EB: i just wanted to check in i guess.

EB: especially since i heard about that whole. exploding thing, i'm worried.

EB: someone said it might be nice if i reached out to you to see if you were ok.

EB: although i guess if it was me i would probably be kind of nervous. about the exploding thing.

EB: man i'll shut up now.

EB: just um . i'm here for you and stuff! if you need any thing.

EB: i'm probably making a bigger deal out of all this then i need to. but i mean. i don't know what i'd do if you were gone.

EB: sorry if none of this helped and you are just like "please stfu now john blarghhh"

- @badlydrawnjohn

TG: dude TG: its cool. i promise TG: im figuring this shit out it doesnt stand a chance. got a team of experts examining every microscopic inch of it TG: fuckin pervs TG: starting a reality show about just how much weve figured this shit out and i already know that shits gonna fail because its gonna be the most boring shit ever TG: ten minutes into the first episode some douchebag (me in a lab coat) turns to some other douchebag (me in a wig) and goes 'i got it' TG: 'problem officially fuckin solved' TG: and then the rest of the series is them talking about just how much theyve gotten it and its a major bomb because who wants to watch that shit TG: but hey something has to be a bomb because it sure as hell aint gonna be me TG: and the tax benefits from making the show were fuckin worth it TG: especially since i only had to pay one actor that really helped cut the budget TG: and hell i might as well be the only editor right. and filmmaker. and obviously im gonna be the audio guy like cmon who the hell else would it be TG: ...okay i got distracted there TG: god maybe you should be the one telling me to stfu now haha TG: point is im gonna be fine. no ones exploding on my watch TG: thanks though TG: seriously TG: ... TG: also gotta say im majorly insulted you think some weak sauce explosion could take me out man the hell do you mean TG: bro raised me better than that TG: hate to break it to you dude but you cant get rid of me im like the worlds shittiest ghost TG: call the ghostbusters all you want they arent busting shit TG: youre stuck with me forever dude. sucks to suck

[maitaiwiththecorpses]

Don't Let Go

ahahahhahahahahahahahahhaha @the-princess-fangirl and @loife1m thanks for the one shot prompt

After the final battle, after discussions and reunions and funerals.

It finally sank in.

The nightmares, the trauma, a PTSD of sorts.

Anxiety.

He wasn't sleeping anymore. At first, Aiden just wasn't tired. Nidra had him nice and rested for a good two weeks.

But then, Nidra kept him awake.

What he saw when he had escaped the land of the waking-

It was beyond anything he wanted to relive.

If Aiden went back to sleep, would he ever wake up?

It started to wear on him, the sleeplessness, the sweaty anxiety of even getting close to his bed, his brain screaming for an out.

It went on like this for a month before one day, he snapped at Aru.

"Gods, Shah, do you have to be so extra all the time?" He spat out.

Aru whipped her head at him, a 'how dare you' look crossing her face. "Aiden Acharya, I'm going to give you one chance to rethink that sentence before I walk out of here." Immediately, his heart rate spiked, seeing stars in his vision and his throat closing up. She's gonna leave you-

"No, please," he said hurriedly, sounding strangled. "Don't leave- I'm so sorry, I-" He took a giant shuddering breath. Here we go again, his brain sang, a mocking song to bolster his anxiety further.

Aru was by his side in seconds, dropping all anger and taking hold of his shoulders. "Wifey? What's going on? Hey, no-" she wiped his face- it was wet- he'd started crying- oh dear- and she searched his eyes, worry clear in her frown. "Can I hug you?" She asked. Aru was trying to make it very clear- in his state of distress, he was in control- nothing would happen without his consent. Aiden nodded in response, feeling Aru wrap her arms around his waist and letting his head bury into her shoulder.

They didn't talk for what felt forever, and the silence, the contact, it calmed him down. She was not leaving, he could feel the sentiment in every stubborn fiber of her being.

"Sorry." He said abruptly, pulling his head up. "For yelling at you. I didn't mean to- I'm just really tired."

Aru nodded solemnly. "Exhaustion makes us act badly. Thank you for apologizing. However, I'm more worried about the fact that you're so tired." And ready to have a mental breakdown at any moment, Aiden thought. She didn't say it, but it was there, in the air, unspoken.

"I haven't been sleeping since Nidra," he said numbly. "And not cause of the saved up sleep I had- that's gone now. I'm just." His hands shook and he shut his eyes tightly. "I never want to feel like I won't wake up again." He exhaled, reaching for hands and giving them a squeeze. "I'm scared, Shah."

Aru said nothing for a moment, then, "I didn't sleep for weeks after the Sleeper took me." Aiden looked at her quizzically. "My brain kept telling me, 'if you go to sleep, you leave yourself vulnerable.' And I believed that for a long time." Aru smiled sadly, thinking back to those tremulous times. "I mean, I got over it. Eventually. But it was so rough- and definitely not as bad as what you're going through right now. Because if that was bad, then this is definitely worse, because, Aiden, you died." She looked him directly in the eye, her own looking glassy. "Nidra took you."

"Yeah," he whispered. Sometimes, he couldn't believe it himself.

"I needed someone. And I promised myself in the unlikely event that something similar happened to me or someone else, that I would get help." She squeezed his hands now, comforting and warm. "I can help you, definitely, but maybe you should go see an Otherworld therapist?" When he hesitated to respond, she quickly added, "not that you have to decided right now- it's just an option."

"Ok," he said, curling into her. Aru placed the laptop and notebooks on the ground, making more room on the bed as he closed his eyes. "I'll think about it."

"Alright," she said, leaning into him.

Before he fell into the first of many more hard-fought peaceful sleeps, his brain pleaded,

Don't let go.

To which a small, hopeful flame in him responded,

She won't.

[natashas-girl]

If you’re happy part 3

A/n: sorry it took so long 😅

Summary: yelena realizes that y/n is not ok

You knew that when yelena came, you wouldn't be able to fake it anymore. You would either end up hurting someone or breaking. You just needed to forget. But. . . That wasn't possible and you knew it. You had tried forgetting, you had tried ignoring. . .none of it ever worked.

Knock-knock knock

Shit. That was yelena. You should probably get out there before she kicks the door down. 

"Yelena?" You asked with a fake grin on your face, "i haven't seen you in forever, come in!"

Yelena's frown remained unmoving as she walked in, letting the door slam shut. 

"So, do you want anything?" You asked, your voice claiming higher with each word,  "I have water, coffee-"

"Y/n, cut the bullshit we both know why I'm here." Yelena interrupted. 

"I- what do you mean?" You asked, your voice going off the charts. 

Yelena glared at you. 

Maybe Natasha wasn't the world's scariest assassin. 

Natasha. . .

"I got the call from the hospital, y/n." She continued, concern starting to play on her face. "At least talk to me." 

Your smile fell and you sighed. "What is there to tell? I'm sure you already know."

Her gaze narrowed, "yes, i have talked to Natasha. . . But i want to hear it from you."

"Are you sure you don't want some coffee?" You asked, avoiding her.  

"Y/n, please." She stared directly into your eyes. 

"I have Doritos, too," you offered. 

"Y/N!" Yelena yelled, making you jump, "please. . . I'm trying to help you." 

"I'm fine," you insisted, "now I'm gonna get some Doritos, whether you want them or not." 

-time skip-

You and Yelena were sitting at the kitchen counter, which yelena had decidedly dragged the couch to and was (even though she refused them) munching on Doritos.

Honestly, it kinda wasn't fair that all these people were coming over to your house, making themselves at home, and making you talk to them. 

"You gonna talk now?" Yelena asked, turning to face you. There was dorito dust on her fingers and chin. 

"Yes. So there's this article about youtube being a scam, and-"

Yelena cut you off with a glare

"Fine. Natasha and i were dating, it didnt work out, the end." You said stubbornly. 

"Y/n, you are not going to be happy if you avoid my questions again," she maintained unblinking eye contact, "so I'm going to be a bit more specific."

"Is this an interrogation?" You asked, laughing nervously. 

Yelena shrugged, breaking eye contact, "it can be." She glared at you again, "Just answer these three questions and I'll leave. Who dumped who, did it have to do with Maria, and," she paused, "Why did you leave." 

Better just to give up on this one, "i dumped Natasha-" yelena looked at you in surprise "-because i knew that she and Maria had that chemistry, and. . . They just needed that push. Besides, it was better that i get hurt than natasha have to hide her feelings for the girl she loves just so she doesn't squash my heart. I left because i couldn't stay." 

Yelena nodded sadly, "So you won't come back?"

You felt tears come to your eyes, "Never."

-time skip-

Yelena was gone. She had left hours ago. They all came to help, and they all made it worse. Every time. 

You had to go. You left your phone and checked your car to make sure that you had enough gas. You did. 

Driving away from the home that was never really a home, you knew that they would never find you again. 

Not if you had anything to say about it, at least. 

Im going to tag everyone who wanted a part 3:

@tashakink @maxxione @liladoesfanfics @reginassweetheart @lucyromanoffpovs @natashaxwife @xscarlettxbelovax

[guapoduoshipper]

hello! saw that you also accept songs in portuguese and since i see guapoduo everywhere i have a few:

1. this one since roier's grandpa wanted to ruin their marriage and q!cellbit has a past as f!cell ,, (eng lyrics)

2. this one bc it fits both of them and the way they found someone who gives them the love they've always needed (eng lyrics)

3. this one bc q!cellbit is just a sucker for q!roier and wont ever shut up abt him this song just describes him (eng lyrics)

Hello! Thank you very much for your suggestions! I am really enjoying listening to them.

Eu não vou desistir de ter você Não vou, faço o que eu puder fazer Agora vou descontrolar, vou perder a linha E o paraíso proibido te aplicar

I won't give up on you I won't, do what I can do Now I'm gonna lose control, I'm gonna lose the line And the forbidden paradise will apply to you

Ok this one is so good and you're right it hits pretty well with what happened yesterday. I laughed so hard during the whole interaction with Abueloier and just a song with this rhythm is what was on my mind.

Even if someone wanted some inspiration for a bad boy/good boy AU this is the right song.

E começar de novo com outro alguém Que só quer me ver bem Que me fez encontrar a simples melodia O caminho pra um lugar que eu não conhecia Pra me fazer cantar, pra me fazer sorrir

And start over with someone else Who only wants to see me well Who made me find the simple melody The way to a place I didn't know To make me sing, to make me smile

I think this is my favorite one of all your suggestions, it's so sweet and reminds me so much of them, I feel it speaks from each one's past to this moment when they meet and share their present. I loved it.

E por você eu largo tudo Vou mendigar, roubar, matar Até nas coisas mais banais Prá mim é tudo ou nunca mais

And I’d give up everything for you I'll beg, steal, kill Even the most trivial things For me it's either everything or never again

Ok, from now on whenever I hear q!Cellbit talk to anyone about q!Roier or his wedding, this song is the one that will be playing in my head. q!Cellbit hopelessly in love with q!Roier is my safe place forever.

I thank you so much for sharing with me such beautiful songs! Feel free to do it again any time you want :)

Edit: Now that I'm at home, I was able to place the lyrics quietly (I was at work).

(If you want to know a little more about this blog, you can read here. )

[gayspock]

OK

now im like im gonna shut up for real i fucking promise but also just feel like such fucking shit all the fucking time and its everything but it's mostly loneliness isn't it i feel like I'm going fucking nuts like seriously fucking nuts I keep thinking about what it would look like to look back on my existence like a TV show and think about how I've never been anything more than a sad fucking loser who just ends up crying in their room alone every night because they felt left out again and again and again and again and it never ends and it never changes and there's nothing you can do to make it stop there's just something wrong with you or there's not enough of you to like and i don't think I'm ever going to cope with it even after accepting it I just can't fucking do it and nobody's ever gonna care or know like for real because no matter what people say I just feel like i don't exist 8 feel like I'm constantly going crazy I wish it mattered like properly for a fucking second and it wasn't some fucking clinical reassurance but someone actively choosing to be near me or remembering I exist I don't understand it and 8 never have and I don't think I'll ever make it long enough to ever feel it I can't even relate to half the fucking bullshit out there ei don't know what to do I've never managed it I keep thinking when I kill myself what will happen how nobody will even realise how nobody will even want to deal with the body I wonder what would end up happening I keep trying to think of ways I could do it and make sure there's never anything to recover how to slowly dismantle all the pieces because I don't 2wnt to think about being left somewhere forever having some stranger fucking dig my hole or scatter my ashes i just feel so fucking sick of everything no i haven't i haven't managed to talk to people in years and years I don't remember any more einkeep thinking about the tens of thousands of hours of spiralling and nobody ever fucking giving a damn enough to take me seriously as a person 8 feel like I've never been a person to anyone I don't know i can't explain it people keep telling me I'm not trying enough I try too hard I don't care I can't fucking care any more and I'm not strong enough to fucking do it Its been my whole life 8 mean it it's just been like this I can't remember when it wasn't like this I used to fucking sob in cupboards wishing someone would just not fucking hate me please I'm so fucking or just stay please please like me or if I got older maybe if I went to new places maybe I could try I could try and it just kept. Getting worse. The more and more it happened the worse it got i didn't even do anything in uni nobody knew who I was and I think ive always just been a joke and 8 don't know what's wrong with me every time I get my hopes up I feel like I've just ended up more and more hurt and more and more upset and I just don't want to fucking try I don't want to keep doing it I don't want to be near anyone I feel so much fucking worse just living in the cracks of everyone else's fucking existence it feels like I'm being mocked and it's not fucking worth it nothing could retroactively make it fucking worth it ii don't fucking care but what's going to happen other than I'm going to go fucking sob in the dark for another few months until 8 finally kill myself hm okay!

[heard-nsfw-is-back]

Here's what I've got as the "beginning" for jumanji!steddie. I just watched it recently so it's like in my mind and I'm ok I'll shut up just look I'm very excited and I'll talk about it forever just here ok bye.

Eddie Munson was on his bike, heading home from school. He'd just seen Steve home, they had been talking about class and what they were going to do for the summer. He was so preoccupied about how he was going to see Steve and what plans to make that he didn't see Billy Hargrove and 4 of his little minions following him. It wasn't until he was halfway to his father's factory that he heard Billy yelling. "I'm gonna get you Freak!" Eddie jumped a little and started pedaling as fast as he could. He just needed to get to the factory. There were too many workers there and Billy wouldn't risk getting caught by them. He hoped anyway.

He hoped correctly. He just made it inside, panting and shaking from fear and pain. "Wait till you get out! You can't hide forever!" Eddie scoffed as the door shut behind him. "Watch me." He muttered and trudged up the stairs. Maybe he could convince his father to drive him home. It was busy and loud and Eddie's head was starting to hurt, but it was safe. He made his way over to Jim Hopper who was probably the coolest adult he knew.

"Hey Jim." Hopper looked up from fine eyelets he was fixing. "Oh hey Eddie. What are you doing out here." Eddie shrugged. "Nothing just thought I'd come by." Jim made a face. "Right sure." Heavy sarcasm with just a splash of an eye roll. Honestly Eddie would be offended if it wasn't so funny. "Oh hey wait listen! I'm working on something. It's going to be amazing." Jim sat up from his chair and walked over to a box. He pulled out some sneakers and held it proudly to Eddie.

"Sneakers. Wow the ingenuity really gets to me on an emotional level." "Can it." Jim bit and hit the sneakers on the table. They lit up and Eddie whistled, actually impressed. "Ok that's pretty cool." The voice of Eddie's father cut through. "What's Billy Hargrove and his buddies doing down there. Is that my son's bike? Is he here?!" Eddie stifled a groan. Damn. There goes his chance of getting a ride home. "Here Pop." His father walked over. "I know you're not hiding up here. I didn't raise a coward." Bull, Eddie thought. It's not cowardly to avoid a fight with 5 other guys!

His father must have seen his thoughts on his face. "You've got to stand up for yourself! Grow up! We've all had to." Eddie nodded, holding back furious words and tears. "Now get home. It's not safe in here for you." He dismissed Eddie, who walked out to Billy and his friends hiding behind a tree. The beat him up, splitting his lip and making his arms hurt. "You stay away from Steve! You hear me? That's my boyfriend!" Eddie pulled himself up. "We're just friends." He insisted. Billy got on his bike. "Not anymore you're not." He laughed and they were off.

Eddie kicked some grass that had the bad misfortune of growing there and threw some rocks. If he wasn't so close to the factory he'd be making some pretty inventive curses right now. He decided to wait a little longer for Billy to really get far, and take the long way home, just to play it safe. Not for the first time he cursed being so much smaller than everyone. It wasn't fair. His father and mother were so tall and even Steve was almost a foot taller. Thinking about Steve was upsetting. He never made Eddie feel like a freak. Or point out how his father threw their name around. Steve's family was also pretty affluent. But he never acted like it much.

Eddie's eye was starting to sting. It would probably bruise at this point. He was walking past a construction site when he heard strange drumming. Rhythmic, but it sounded muffled. He looked around for a radio and followed it. It got louder and louder until he climbed up to a wall of dirt in the foundation. He dug his fingers in and shoveled until he felt a box. Eddie brushed it clear and a small handle came loose. He tugged at it until a crate fell out. It was locked and had chains around it. "Cool!" He whispered and looked around and found a shovel. With a few hits to a lock the chains fell apart and Eddie opened it to a bunch of sand and a board that had pictures and a single word in beautiful font. JUMANJI.

[liliallowed]

listening to "all I want is you" as I descend into madness 🫡

here are the lyrics color coded with no particular reason or reference to something.

Let me be the one to

I know what you want girl

Hold your, hold your ha-ever

We'd be good toge-ge-ge

[reset]

=)

I know what you want girl

Let me be the one to

Hold your hand forever

We'd be good together

I'll make you feel special

Help you feel less stressful

Fix the holes in your heart

It's what I wanted from the start

I got mental issues

Always fucking miss you

Tons of bloody tissues

All of over my room

I need to clean them up

Baby, I'm fucked up

Baby, will you help me?

Because I'm gonna help you

All I want is you now

All I wanna do now

Is wait for you to call me

Baby, I'm so sorry

Do you wanna hurt me?

Are you gonna hurt me?

Please don't desert me

Please don't desert me

All I want is you now

All I wanna do now

Is wait for you to call me

Baby, I'm so sorry

Do you wanna hurt me?

Are you gonna hurt me?

Please don't desert me

Please don't desert me

Please don't desert me

I was up early

Up all night

I was scratching off the 30s

You make me feel dirty

Tell me I'm disgusting

Tell me that you love me

But really you mean nothing

I don't wanna talk

No, it's not up for discussion

You control my life

I feel like a fucking puppet

Keep telling me to shut it

Ok baby, alright!

I remember nights

We were dancing in the moonlight

I remember hiding

I was shy and I had stage fright

I remember crying

I just want you to be alright

Want you to be okay

Okay, baby, alright

Want you to be okay

Okay, baby, alright

All I want is you now

All I wanna do now

Is wait for you to call me

Baby, I'm so sorry

Do you wanna hurt me?

Are you gonna hurt me?

Please don't desert me

Please don't desert me

[ravenadottir]

hi there.

this is a very long post about why i'm deactivating my inbox and taking some time off, so... if you're not interested, skip this one. you know it's long and... not cohesive, which is very on brand for me.

gotta keep that ✨aesthetic ✨ going.

it's been maybe a year since the last time i closed my inbox for a while. i really need every spare second i can get to focus on my other projects. i have many pieces to finish, and coming in to tumblr and responding asks takes some time.

don't get me wrong, i fucking love it (i'll talk about it later on in this post) but i just really have been buried in unfinished projects, and well, you've seen the length of my answers, bitch can't shut up about the subject people ask him about lol so it takes a while to answer them, and i need this time.

i'm not sure how long this hiatus is gonna take, and i'm ok with not knowing. if this was last year's time off i would be calculating everything, trying to come up with a solid calendar mark, but now? nah, i'm cool with not knowing.

a few things i need to address before i go:

plenty of characters are queer or other genders and there's nothing you can do about it. you can argue with the wall because it's the only thing that's not gonna disagree with you.

i have no problem with anyone in the fandom. if there's any "beef", that's you having it with me, it's not mutual. i can't hate/dislike someone i don't even know or care about. get over yourself.

if you feel the need of sending hate in my inbox... i do hope you find peace, and whatever situation, person, struggle is making you feel so angry, i hope it's temporary. also, know that you don't need to ignore or try not to feel your anger, you just need to know how to manage it. people you don't know in real life, and that are not responsible for making you feel this way, are not exactly the people who deserve your explosions. if you cannot confront your trigger, know this: it's gonna be ok. this is not gonna last forever, and you will have the power to leave this situation soon. i know it sounds condescending, but i'm being serious. everything is gonna be ok.

from here on out it's about to get cheesy, so if you're uncomfortable with feelings, this is the end of the post for you. hope you have a blast while i'm gone. stay hydrated and fed.

i have some advice for you: please don't let anything negative affect the way you look at your work or creative process. whether it's a condescending comment, or an ask, or even someone in real life saying something... if you're in search of the perfect way of writing, something that fits with your style and time table, you have to think about what you want, and not what other people will think it's interesting. YOU'VE GOT THIS! keep going, you know exactly what to do, don't let the writing paralysis get to you.

to whoever sent those asks about writing advice, please tag me in your updates if you ever do write those pieces. i would honestly love to read them now that i'll have more time. i'm a big advocate for "the more the merrier" and that's not gonna change. TAG ME!

stop clenching your jaw and go drink some water and eat something. that frail body of yours is not gonna survive on air and positive thoughts you dumb bitch (affectionate).

i'll be logged off for a while so i can work on the (many, many, many) outlines i have to finish, so i might not respond messages as quickly, but i'll get to them at some point.

this is random but... i have discovered watercolor and brown noise and it has been really peaceful lately. i don't know if this information will serve you in any way but i thought i would share.

anyway!

the anons that have sent me questions, prompts, ideas, requests of any kind, i hope you know you have made my day many, many times. i can’t stress this enough, if there wasn’t any asks for me to answer, there wouldn’t be as nearly as much content in this blog. and in the fandom for that matter! i love that you always bring interesting and insightful asks to us, and sometimes fucking hilarious, keeping the fandom alive and running. we never met, we never talked, but you kept coming back and giving us more stuff to talk about. thank you, because i learned so much while processing those answers, and i think we can all agree, you are the true backbone of this place. I FUCKING LOVE YOU.

to the people that have become my friends and have been there for me through happy and sad moments, i truly love and appreciate you so much, you’re absolutely the type of light a person would be lucky to have. you’re brilliant and deserve the world, so never forget that! i hope you stay evolving but never change, because you are amazing, and you have so much to give. I FUCKING LOVE YOU (2).

to the people I wasn't friends with but i saw you on my dash... my introvert ass didn't let me get to know you, but i know for a fact you're so cool and deserve the world! i wish I had talked or reached out, but i couldn't. and still, i see you and yours posts, your writing, your drawings, and you're fucking talented and amazing. please never change.

in case i don't come back i just wanna say this: this fandom is only wonderful because the people here are fantastic and creative and warm and amazing and supportive and gorgeous and awesome and funny and-

the time i spent here wasn't a waste. quite the opposite, it was very fun and interesting. i made some really good friends, i have rediscovered a passion, i have figured out my disabilities, sexuality, gender in the mean time... it's been a blast! so i guess i just want to say, i love this fandom and the people in it.

i’m the kind of person that believes learning is an endless process. whether it’s academic, self-knowledge, or even, for lack of better term, “streets smarts”. you’re never gonna stop learning, and i hope you don’t.

we can all improve and evolve and it doesn't mean you have to change. i had an epiphany a while ago and i'm more convinced than ever that what i'm doing is right. so if you ever... have one of those, keep going. i know you can do this, and i know there are some days when you feel like it doesn't matter, but it does. i promise you, it does.

you never know who you're reaching but i guarantee you are reaching someone, so please, keep going, whatever your craft or work is.

and last but not least, if this is the last time we talk, i hope you know this: i'm proud of you. whether because you posted a chapter, or because you made a funny post, or even because you made your bed today. we know these are trying times, and possibly an "apocalypse surviving" era, SO IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU DO! if you chose to relax today, or to write, or just to make some ramen to feed yourself, i don't care, you're still alive and doing your best to stay sane, so I'M PROUD OF YOU.

ok, i think i'm done.

stay hydrated and fed. hopefully we'll talk soon?

alright, bye.

[non-un-topo]

random ass questions about ur stories: ok I don’t remember the title but ur recent long fic that was like. the aftermath of losing quynh and they were on that island with the fun-shaped stone that Nicky found? if ur happy to share I’d LOVE to hear about like. what part of the story u came up with first. like what image/vibe/plot point etc stuck in ur head so much that u wrote a whole fic about it yk? I absolutely LOVED that fic and would love to know!! hope ur having a good day and also no pressure to respond 🫶💕

🥺🥺 Ohh friend, thank you!! I'm so glad you liked it, and I'm sending lots of love to you!! The fic in question is Axis! (you're gonna get me talking about this big baby of mine and I won't shut up lol, I'm shy but I've had a lot of caffeine and I'm excited) <33

So I actually went looking through my old docs, phone notes, and physical journals for the first idea I had of this fic after I read your ask, because I could not seem to remember?? From what I managed to dig up, it was based on vibes first. I have some journal notes on "aporia", a state of ambivalence, and liminal space. I think I started writing it in October last year, during a very weird time where my mental health was... not great. In short, and hopefully without oversharing, I thought I was having a psychotic break. Turned out it was likely the CBD capsules I was taking for my chronic pain, which had a psychoactive effect I hadn't anticipated (like 0.1mg of THC and somehow it was enough). Anyway, at that time I started writing a lot of garbled philosophical thoughts, and I'll share this one for you because I'm almost certain it's what inspired Axis: (also putting the rest of this under a read-more so I don't annoy anyone sdfghfd)

What is the present? I wonder, because the moment you put your attention on it, it becomes the past. It vanishes. We think about present moments, but they’re already gone. All that exists is this idea of ‘happening’: All that will happen, and all that has happened. Neither is tangible. Neither can be held or kept. In thinking about the future, we imagine possibilities. In thinking about the past, we revive in our minds what has already happened. The only present that exists is the imagination. The dream. That which removes us from our reality, from our position in time and space. Where exactly is that? Rather, where are our selves in that state? Do we linger? Do we go? And if so, where? How long is the length of a single present moment? Can our lives exist as this single thread, if we spend it in dream-state? Are we forever suspended, or do our recollections of the past, our imaginings of the future, tether us to something tangible after all?

Anyway, right below this is the first line from Axis: "It is wondrous how quickly things can change in a moment."

Besides vibes and themes (suspension, stasis, indecision, fear of being lost, grieving, surrendering to the will of nature, being a fixed point in a broken group, being tethered together or untethered, things happening in reverse, being upside-down, being consumed, yadda yadda), I think the first scenes that popped into my head as visuals before I got writing were 1) Nicolo standing in the valley and catching a flake of ash in the air. 2) Yusuf and/or Nicolo in a hot spring. 3) Larus' frozen lambs. 4) The argument between Andromache and Nicolo, but no dialogue yet.

I know I wanted to write something sort of dream-like, that dipped in and out of flashbacks and liminal states, and I'm genuinely proud of myself for seeing it through. The last school year I had was intense to say the least, and there was a long stretch of time where I just left this fic as one scene and a bunch of nonsensical notes. Then, being real transparent here, a couple different tragedies happened one right after the other, and I just opened the doc again. I think my nana dying slowly had a lot to do with the direction my writing took. Thoughts, feelings, general atmosphere from real life creeps into my writing every time, and often I don't even notice until the project is done and I've read it a few times.

Anyway, I'm WAY overselling this fic dfgfds. It just means a whole lot to me and I know you can tell, so I appreciate you asking about it <3 Hope you have a fantastic day. Sending love and hugs <333

A bonus angsty snippet that didn't make it into the final work, just for you <3

It happens like this sometimes: Yusuf begins. “What if we never found you?” “You did.” “But what if. Just humour me for a moment.” You do. You love this man, so you do. “I wasn’t fast enough, and you slipped. I didn’t grab you. I didn’t even pull you from the water.” “You know it is not your fault.” “Andi didn’t— you didn’t see. I tried to jump in after you—” “And you would have been lost, too.” “No, I would have gotten you back.” There is no way to prove this. Nothing is certain. It already happened. You’re going around in circles. Yusuf says again, in a whisper, “What if we never found you?” You’re finding it hard to speak. To say anything in this moment. Yusuf presses his hands over his mouth, but it does nothing to contain his stilted gasps. He presses his words against his palms, but you hear them clear as ice: “What if we never find her?”