#ok that was a weird way to describe that but sure

[host-gone-gay]

It has come to my attention that I currently lack queer friends so if you're queer and ready to deal with my bullshittery and complete tomfoolery, DMS are open .

Please be respectful, I will not tolerate any form of toxicity and you'll be instantly blocked and reported.

This has been an important message.

Good luck. (With dealing with my ass lol)

[cherry-shipping]

i have some other silly little drawings to make first but later im gonna draw me and muffet being besties because i havent done that yet. were mean girl best friends and she thinks im so cute and small she treats me like a little dolly she likes to spoil me which is rare but like she bakes me stuff and dresses me up in cute little dresses im like her mascot because she just thinks im so cute. its a weird relationship but itso great 😊

[buckymorelikefuckme]

and baby makes three

(the reboot)

bucky barnes x fem reader

words: 11.3k

warnings: **18+ ONLY** friends to lovers, pining, smut, oral (f receiving), breeding kink, pregnancy kink, cockwarming (kind of??), trigger warning for having troubles with getting pregnant. it's still super fuckin soft despite all of that though, i swear.

a/n: okay so it's currently 6am as i'm typing this and i haven't been to sleep yet bc i decided to just heavily edit this instead of rewrite it bc i'm lazy i guess idk. this was posted originally back in 2021 i believe and it's still on ao3 it's just orphaned rip. i promise i'll be writing and posting new stuff soon ok pls have faith in me and cheer me on bc it's hard and scary and i don't wanna disappoint anybody :( ANYWAY, as usual, any and all mistakes are my own. if i've missed anything important pls let me know so i can correct it. feedback is encouraged (pls) and appreciated (i am begging...)

The idea of you having a child one day always seemed foreign and very unlikely. Sure, you liked kids well enough, but having one of your own…

It’s a thought that’s sat in a corner deep in your mind, buried beneath a million other impossible concepts; a thought that you’ve only ever glanced over and never gave your full attention, having ruled it out ages ago as something you just couldn’t—or wouldn’t—do.

And then, on a day like any other, it pushes its way to the forefront of your mind, making itself known and unwilling to leave.

You’re going into the clothing store to find a new cardigan after your most favorite one got eaten by the dryer. Usually you’re a single-minded shopper, walking into a store with tunnel vision and on a mission to get what you need and that’s it.

Today, however, you make the mistake of letting your eyes wander on your way to the sweater section. Your gaze just so happens to land on the baby clothes… and your steps falter. It’s there that you see it, a tiny, pink onesie with a sleeping teddy bear printed on the front, displayed on an even tinier hanger. There’s matching pants with teddy bears all over them and ruffles on the butt and all your brain can muster up is cutecutecutecutecute.

Your feet carry you closer and before you realize what you’re doing you pick up the outfit, letting out a coo when you realize the teddy bear is fuzzy, softly rubbing your thumb across it. Somehow, you walk out of the store, not with a new cardigan, but with the cute baby outfit and a bow you thought looked adorable with it.

It’s not until you get home that it hits you, that you bought baby clothes for a baby you don’t even have.

The feeling that rushes through you is hard to describe. Shame? Embarrassment?

...Yearning?

No. Definitely not. Nope.

There’s absolutely no yearning going on here, not for a baby. You’ve never even had that desire before and you certainly don’t see yourself having it now. You shake your head to clear it, telling yourself you’ll take it back tomorrow.

Except you don’t take it back. You conveniently “forget” and it stays shoved on the top shelf in your hall closet. You pretend you don’t pause in front of said closet throughout the following days—weeks—chewing on the inside of your cheek and staring at the door like you can see through the wood at the evidence of your impulsive purchase.

It gets harder to ignore, though, when you start getting ads for baby clothing brands. And baby toys, bottles, handy little gadgets for new parents, nursery decor… It’s endless.

Then, as if it wasn’t already bad enough, all of your childhood friends start popping out babies like it’s a brand new trend. You don't think you've seen your social media this flooded with pregnancy announcements and baby arrivals, ever. Your emotions are mixed; happy for them, and for their excitement, but there’s also a weird discomfort settled in your stomach.

You hesitate to be that person who thinks the universe is trying to tell you something, but you do wonder. Why else would you suddenly have these feelings? Why else would there be baby stuff everywhere you look now?

It brings on other thoughts, as well. In this day and age, it’s not too unusual for women to have babies without being married, or without a significant other at all. There is the pressure, still, to at least be in a relationship, but considering you’ve been practically in love with one of your closest friends for the last two years, it’s safe to say that you’re tragically single, so having a baby with someone is out of the question.

And god, do you even want a baby?

As soon as the thought crosses your mind, with a sudden clarity that hits you like a ton of bricks, you realize you do. It feels like a freight train has slammed into you. Your mind’s eye supplies you with images of a swollen belly and wide smile, a precious baby wrapped in a soft blanket, cradled in your arms, a gummy grin and happy giggle.

Emotion consumes you then, longing like you’ve never felt in your life, chest aching with how badly you want that.

It’s not as if you’re too young. You’re plenty old enough and you’ve got a secure job. You don’t subscribe to that whole biological clock nonsense, but you do feel that if you are going to potentially have a baby, it might be better to do it now while you’re still in relatively good health.

You groan, dropping your face into your open palms, the movie you'd been watching to try and distract yourself long forgotten as it continues to play on the television.

This is a lot to think about, you ponder to yourself. Taking a deep breath in and releasing it slowly, you decide the mature thing to do is give yourself more time to ruminate on it. Having a baby is no small decision. You need to be absolutely certain it’s what you want. It’s going to change your entire life, everything, and you’d be responsible for a new life. So, you’ll have to give yourself a few months to decide and then you can go from there.

***

You’re scrolling through yet another article on your laptop, engrossed in every detail of the process of artificial insemination and the symptoms and side effects that come with it. So engrossed, in fact, that you don’t hear the key turning in the lock, the door opening and closing, and the heavy footfalls that follow.

It’s only when Bucky asks, “Whatcha reading?” that you are even aware of his presence.

You startle so hard that your knee slams into the underside of your table. Ignoring the throbbing pain in your knee and your wildly beating heart, you close your laptop with a snap and turn to Bucky.

“You could knock,” you grouse.

“Why give me a key, then?” he retorts, unapologetic.

You roll your eyes and grumble under your breath, “Clearly, it was a mistake.”

“You didn’t answer me.”

Brows furrowed, you ask, “What?”

He gestures to your laptop. “What were you reading? Your nose was nearly smushed against the screen.”

You blink, trying to think of a reasonable excuse and coming up empty.

“Nothing,” is all your brilliant mind can supply.

Bucky’s eyes narrow for a few seconds, and you pray to every higher power and all that is holy and good that he won’t press further. You remain frozen under Bucky’s suspicious stare, hearing that Old West shootout music playing in your mind.

Thankfully, it seems the deities are feeling indulgent, as Bucky chooses let it go.

He holds up the bags he carried in. “I brought lunch.”

You perk up instantly. “Did you go to that one place—?”

“With the fried rice you like so much, yes,” he finishes for you, smiling.

“You’re the best,” you sigh, stomach rumbling eagerly.

“I know,” he replies, solemn and dramatic like the idiot he is.

He begins taking out the styrofoam boxes and chattering on about something dumb Steve did the other day, and you mean to listen, you really do. It’s just. That article is still lingering in your brain. There’s so many steps and hassles. Plus, it’s not cheap. It would be a hefty investment.

You’d only researched it because, after months of contemplating the pros and cons of having a baby, you determined the pros far outweigh the cons. But then the problem was: how to even make it happen.

Your first thought was that you didn’t think you’d let just any man come inside you, for many obvious reasons. You’d shuddered to think of it. Then there was surrogacy, which is admirable and wonderful, but you’d quickly dismissed that idea as you realized you wanted to actually carry the baby yourself. So that led you to artificial insemination. You weren’t sure how you felt about it yet. There was something a little too clinical about choosing a random man’s sperm to have injected into your uterus.

Bucky’s still speaking as he grabs plates and forks, unaware of your inner monologue. “And then he got Sam involved,” he’s saying, scooping out food onto the plates, “which, as you know, I always think is a dumb thing to do.”

“I want to have a baby,” you blurt, eyes widening at your outburst.

Bucky fumbles with the spoon, sending fried rice flying, muttering curses as he tries to catch it with no luck as it lands with a dull clunk on the table. The silence that follows is loud. It feels like your heart is in your throat as you wait for him to just say something, anything.

“This is… quite a mess I’ve made,” Bucky finally observes. His voice is a bit higher than usual. “Where’s your vacuum? Actually, do you have one of those mini ones? Or would Clorox wipes be better? You know what, I’ll do both.”

He nods decisively then turns an expectant look towards you. His eyes look a bit wild, but you wisely keep that to yourself.

Wordlessly, you direct him to your hall closet. You realize your error a second too late when he opens the closet and reaches for the vacuum on the top shelf, where the purchase you’d made months ago also rests. His fingers get caught in the plastic bag when he grabs the handheld vacuum and its contents spill out. He goes to catch them right away, but once it registers what they are, he lets go of them like they’re on fire and nearly drops the vacuum on his foot.

Heat has been steadily creeping up your neck, but now your whole body feels aflame with embarrassment. The two of you stare at the baby clothes lying unassumingly on the floor for a long moment, until Bucky quietly walks back to the table with the vacuum clutched tightly in his fist. He flicks the switch on and it whirs to life, sucking up the bits of rice scattered around the table.

There’s another lengthy silence after he turns the vacuum off and you're unable to find the right thing to say to break it. Bucky does it for you.

“So… You’re serious.”

You meet his eyes and sigh heavily. “Yeah.”

He blinks a few times before clearing his throat, schooling his expression carefully. “I didn’t realize you were seeing someone.”

You cough lightly and start picking the peas out of your fried rice. “Well, that would be because I’m not.”

“I don’t think I follow,” he admits slowly.

You sigh again, lowering your gaze to your lap. “Look, I’ve thought about this a lot, okay? I’ve given myself months to really make sure it’s what I want. I’m in a good place in my life to have one, Bucky, and I don’t want to feel pressured to wait until I might get married.” You lift your gaze to his. “I want to have a baby,” you repeat firmly. “And I don’t need a partner to have one.”

You’re not sure why you feel the need to defend yourself. It’s not up to Bucky what you decide to do. You don’t need his approval, or anyone else’s. Maybe it’s because, even though you know it's not true, it feels like you're making too hasty of a decision.

After a beat, Bucky amends, “Well, I mean… You do…”

“Oh my god, shut up, you know what I mean,” you groan as you smack his arm, glad that he's not calling you crazy or trying to talk you out of it.

He doesn’t even flinch, the jerk.

“Wait, so what were you reading when I got here?” he suddenly questions, brows furrowed.

“Nothing,” you say too quickly, guiltily.

“Let me see your laptop then,” he counters as he crosses his arms over his chest.

You flounder for a second, scoffing. “What? No!”

“It can’t be that embarrassing, just show me,” he wheedles.

“Absolutely not.”

“Let me see!”

“It’s private!”

“Don’t be a chicken.”

Your eye twitches. “I’m not a chicken.” Bucky smirks and before he can even open his mouth you interject with a finger pointed accusingly at his face, “Do not start clucking at me, Bucky. I’ll kick your ass,” you threaten, though it's weak and you're not the only one who knows it.

You glare when his smirk only widens. Slowly, he moves his arms like he’s gonna flap them like chicken wings.

“Ugh! God, fine! You wanna know what I was reading?” You open your laptop and slide it over to him, turning it to where he can read it. “There.”

Bucky scans the page, then scans it again, eyes flicking all over like it’s in a different language. His cheeks grow redder and redder as he reads and you get a small sense of satisfaction at the sight.

“Wow,” he mutters finally. “You’re turkey baster serious.”

“James Buchanan Barnes,” you say, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“What?” he asks innocently.

When you make eye contact with him, you purse your lips to keep the laughter threatening to bubble out at bay, but the ever growing smile on Bucky’s face is hard to resist and you find yourself snorting a laugh that leads to uncontrollable giggles. Bucky’s laughing with you, his eyes crinkling on the sides. The tension you hadn’t realized you held in your shoulders loosens and you nudge his knee with yours in silent thanks.

“So,” he says after you've both calmed down.

“So,” you repeat, dragging it out, drumming your fingers on the tabletop. “I’ve been doing research, checking out all of my options, and while artificial insemination seems like the best choice… I don’t know, there’s just something too clinical about it,” you reply, voicing your concerns, “It doesn’t feel right. I know I said I don’t need a partner, and I don’t, but… Having absolutely no connection is weird.”

You shrug, waving a hand as if to say oh well, putting an end to the conversation, and pick up your plate to carry it over to the microwave. You reheat Bucky’s food while you’re up, and then you both start eating in comfortable silence. He gets halfway through his meal before speaking up.

“Have you… I mean, did you think about… I’ve heard that, uh. Some people ask another person…”

He trails off, clearly frustrated that he can’t just spit out what he’s trying to say. You think you understand what he means, though.

“I read up on surrogacy,” you say, biting your lip. “But I don’t think I’d want someone else to carry my baby.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean—I wasn’t suggesting, uh, that. Not that there’s anything wrong with it!” he rushes to say.

You tilt your head. “What did you mean then?”

“Well,” Bucky starts, stilted, licking his lips. “For the artificial insemination, have you considered… you know. Asking someone you’re close with?”

You frown, not following.

“For—for the sperm,” he clarifies, shifting in his seat.

“Oh,” you breathe, blinking rapidly, surprised as you think of how to reply. “Um. No? I wouldn’t even know who I could ask, to be honest. That’s quite the request, you know? Who would—“

“Me,” he interrupts, determined and cheeks flushed, “I would.”

Your own face heats. “Oh,” you say again, quieter.

You can say, with full confidence, that not once did it cross your mind to ask anyone to help you, but you especially would have never given thought to asking Bucky.

For a list of reasons, really, with “it’s Bucky” being right at the very top. Like—sure, yes, you’re in love with him, but after two years of no signs of reciprocation you’ve learned to stop dreaming, to stop hoping. If the attraction was mutual he would have shown it by now, right? And on top of that, his friendship means the world to you and you wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize it. You'd never forgive yourself if you ever managed to fuck up the one good, constant thing going for you.

“Bucky,” you start, slow and careful, “this… This isn't something you can just jump into. It’s something you should think about for a while.”

He contemplates that for a second. “You’re right,” he concedes with a nod. “But…” He purses his lips, glancing away for a minute before turning back to you, leaning forward. “Okay listen, this is important for you. It’s going to change your whole life. You said it yourself, not having a connection to the sperm donor feels wrong. You’re my best friend, alright? I—care about you. You should pick someone you can trust.”

He clenches his jaw after he finishes speaking. You sort of hate the way your heart both flutters and plummets at his words. It’s nice to know you matter to him, just not in the way you’ve wanted for too long.

And if you’re really honest with yourself, Bucky would be a great choice as a donor. He’s in great health, has strong features that would look wonderful on any gender. But would you be able to handle the repercussions of having his child? Would you be able to look at your baby and see those features without it sending a pang through your chest every single time? You can’t say for certain.

Yet, the chance to have that type of connection with him, selfishly, sounds too good to pass up.

“At least think about it for a few days,” you murmur reluctantly.

It’s the most acceptance he’ll get and he knows it. A smile blooms across his face and you have to swallow down the warring emotions rising within you.

***

With the amount of research you do on the subject now, it doesn’t take long for you to find out that there are at-home kits for artificial insemination that are much easier (and cheaper). It’s easy to settle on that, clicking on the info to order your kit with butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

You read through the instructions online and it all sounds simple enough, until you get to the part where it says that having an orgasm after injection helps increase your chances of conception.

Blinking, heat crawling up your neck, you read that step several times, hoping you read it wrong, but it doesn’t change.

You… You can’t masturbate with Bucky’s sperm inside you. That’s a line you refuse to cross.

And besides, he’s a healthy man in his thirties who exercises regularly and eats fairly healthy food! You probably—definitely—won’t need to take that step. It’ll be fine. Probably.

Once the kit arrives, you call Bucky and ask him to come over so you can explain the process to him. Since he’s only across the hall of your apartment building, he’s there a moment later, letting himself in with his key.

“Let’s make a baby,” is how he greets you.

“Hold your horses,” you reply, fighting back a laugh. “I gotta walk you through everything first.”

He plops himself down next to you on your couch. “Fine, fine. Go ahead.”

Squaring your shoulders, you begin telling him how it all works, and what parts he is key for. You speak through your awkwardness, avoiding eye contact, when you explain that he’ll need to masturbate into a clean, sterile cup. You leave out how it’s suggested for you to also masturbate, deciding it’s not pertinent information for him to know.

“When do we start?” he asks once you’re done.

“I have to take an ovulation test first to find out the best days for me to conceive, but once I do that we’ll be able to, um.” You gesture vaguely. “I’ll be able to do the injections.”

He nods. “Alright.” He looks at you then, taking your hand in his and giving it a squeeze. “I’ll be here every step of the way, okay?”

“I know,” you say, smiling. “Thank you, Bucky.”

“You’re welcome,” he returns softly.

“No, really, thank you,” you assert. “This is a lot to take on and I can never fully repay you.”

Bucky shakes his head. “I want you to be happy, and I can see that having this baby is going to do that. I’ll do whatever I need to do to ensure it happens.”

You pull him into a hug, willing yourself to not cry. You’re not sure he’ll ever understand what this means for you, personally, or that you’d ever find a way to express it. He’s giving you so much more than just a baby.

***

The first injection time comes and you find yourself fidgeting where you sit as you wait for Bucky to bring over the, uh… sample. You do your best to not think about what he’s doing in his apartment, to not think about exactly how he’s collecting his sperm.

Now is not the time, you mentally scold yourself. Get it together.

A timid knock at your door alerts you to his presence. The fact he’s knocking says a lot about his own level of embarrassment about the situation.

His cheeks are pink when you open the door. “Uh, hi.”

“Hi,” you return.

He clears his throat and lifts the small cup in his hand. “Here’s… well, you know.”

You gingerly take it from him, not knowing what else to say, but when he smiles somewhat crookedly and turns to leave, you find yourself asking, “Will you stay?”

Bucky’s steps pause. “Huh?”

“Will you—I mean… Would you mind staying?” You shift on your feet. “This is a big moment for me. I-I don’t want to do it alone.”

“Are you asking me to…?” He trails off awkwardly.

“Oh! God, no, I wouldn’t—no,” you assure, huffing a laugh, “I’m doing the injection, I just need a little moral support. That’s all.”

Bucky smiles. “Sure, I’ll stay.”

Relief floods through you. You step aside to let him in, closing the door behind him. He follows you to your bedroom and just before entering you stop in your tracks, nearly causing Bucky to bump into you.

“Um,” you mutter, turning to him. “You’ll have to, ah, sit out here,” you explain. “I have to be lying down…”

Understanding dawns on him. “Oh! Right, right, of course. Sorry.”

“I’ll let you know when I’m done,” you promise.

He nods and watches you close the door. You walk over to your bed and sit down, glancing at the syringe you’ll be using and biting the inside of your cheek.

This is it. There’s really no going back after this. Sure, you may not get pregnant the first time, but Bucky’s already said he’d help you for as long as it takes. It’s just… very real now. You don’t feel any doubts, though. You want this.

Inhaling a large breath and slowly letting it out, hands shaking, you take the lid off the cup and pick up the syringe. You remember the instructions, making sure there’s as little air sucked in as possible when you draw out the semen, and getting rid of the few air bubbles that you see. You grab your pillows and lie down, propping them beneath you to lift your hips.

“Here I go,” you mumble to yourself, taking another deep breath and releasing it.

A couple minutes later, the syringe is empty and you’ve got your legs pulled up to your chest. You cover yourself with your blanket and call out Bucky’s name.

“You okay?” you hear through the door.

“Will you come here, please?” you ask.

He walks in cautiously, making sure you’re decently covered before entering fully, wisely not commenting on your position. “Well?”

“I did it,” you whisper.

He stays quiet, letting you parse through your thoughts. You blink when you feel tears threatening to gather in your eyes. He’s beside you in an instant, crawling in the bed and lying down, taking your hand in his.

“Congratulations,” he says softly.

“Don’t congratulate me yet,” you reply, sniffing and wiping at your eyes.

“Still,” he presses. “You’re one step closer now.”

He pulls your hand up and kisses the back of it. You give him a watery smile. The two of you lay there in silence for a moment before Bucky breaks it.

“This isn’t how I pictured myself making a baby.”

It startles a laugh out of you and Bucky grins, pleased to have helped ease the tense atmosphere. He distracts you with idle conversation after that, talking about his plans for the upcoming weekend, asking about yours, tells you about the newest stupid thing Sam did; he talks and talks and talks, until your anxiety is gone, and then he stays to cook dinner for you.

Your hug when he gets ready to head back to his apartment lasts a couple minutes longer than usual. Bucky quietly allows it, dropping a kiss on your forehead when you pull away.

“Same time next week?” he jokes, making you crack a smile.

“Goodbye, Bucky,” you reply exasperatedly as you close your door.

“Bye, sweetheart,” he returns over his shoulder.

***

Weeks pass. More injections. Pregnancy tests taken.

But nothing happens.

All of your tests come back negative.

When reading up on artificial insemination, and pregnancy in general, you’d understood that there was a chance it wouldn’t happen right away. You thought you were fine with that, that you’d be alright with the waiting and all. Looking at your growing collection of negative tests, however, has a sense of dread building within you. You do your best to quell it, telling yourself there’s no need to stress over it. Yet.

Besides, your mind supplies in an overly cheerful manner, there’s still one more method to try!

***

The next time Bucky brings over his sample, he lets himself in, like always, and passes along the cup with an encouraging smile. You try to smile back, but it feels more like a grimace. He either doesn’t notice or he at least pretends not to, thankfully.

But when he goes to make himself comfortable to wait, you’re reminded that you haven’t told him about the, uh… change in procedure, so to speak.

You clear your throat delicately. “I don’t think you’ll need to stick around this time.”

Bucky frowns. “Why not?”

“Because…” You trail off, cheeks pinking, yet not finishing the sentence, because how do you explain this?

“I promised you I’d be here every step of the way,” he recalls. “I intend to keep that promise.”

You wince. “I really appreciate where your heart is, Bucky, I really do, but I literally cannot let you be here for this injection.”

“Why not?”

You look heavenward for mercy. “I have to…”

When you don’t finish your sentence again, Bucky raises a single brow, gesturing for you to go on. “You have to… what?”

You huff, throwing your arms out. “I have to orgasm, okay?”

His eyes go a little bit wide, but you can tell he tries to control his reaction. He swallows, shifting where he sits on the couch.

“Oh,” he mumbles. “Have… have you had to do that before?”

“No. Well, I mean, it was suggested, but I never…”

His eyebrows furrow. “Does it help or something?”

You absently scratch your neck. “They say it increases the chances of conception.”

“But you haven’t been doing… that.”

“I didn’t think I’d need to.”

Bucky inhales like he’s going to say something, but then doesn’t.

“Yeah, so, I don’t think you should be here,” you utter, quickly adding, “No offense.”

“No, yeah, that’s fair, um. I’ll just—I’ll head back to my apartment,” he states as he stands. “You can—I mean, if you still want me to—I can come back over? After you… uh…”

“I’ll let you know,” you reply, voice tight and high.

He nods, looking lost and like he wants to say more but thinks better of it. Finally, he mutters a soft bye and is out the door.

Alone now, your stomach feels like it’s tying itself in knots and your heart is doing its damnedest to beat out of your chest. You try to tell yourself that it’s just another injection, that this is the same as any other time you've done this, but you know it’s not. It's really, really not.

Laying down on your bed, syringe in hand, is much more nerve wracking than before. On your left lies a new addition to your routine. You don’t know why you’re acting like such a prude all the sudden. It’s not like you’ve never masturbated before. Though, you suppose the major difference is that you didn’t have Bucky’s sperm hangin’ out in your vagina all those other times while you did it.

“Quit being such a goober about this,” you tell yourself.

This has to be done for a reason. If you want to have a baby—and you do, very badly—then you’re gonna have to deal with the process.

Once you’ve injected the sperm, you reach for your bullet vibrator next to your left hand. The instructions say not to insert anything, only to stimulate your clit. You try to clear your head, think of it as a chore or something, yet it’s hard not to think of a certain someone.

The vibrator buzzes with the press of a button. You adjust your hips, making sure they’re tilted, then bring the vibrator to your clit. The first touch makes your stomach tense and thighs spasm.

You close your eyes, running the toy along your slit. You really don’t want to drag this out, would prefer to get it over with as quickly as possible, but your mind begins running away with images.

Bucky, settled between your spread thighs, one hand resting on one of them, the other controlling the vibrator. You imagine he’d tease you, slowly trail it along the crease of your thighs, over your hips; everywhere but where you wanted it.

Bucky would probably give in once you whine and beg enough, once your desperation bled into your voice, and hold the vibrator directly to your clit, drink in your cries of pleasure like they’re the finest whisky.

He’d mutter soft but firm encouragement, tell you how good you’re doing, how good you sound. He’d start circling the vibrator, going from quick to lazy swirls, then he’d change the setting to a higher one just to hear you whimper. His free hand would run up your torso to pinch at your nipples for added stimulation.

When you imagine him leaning down to add his tongue into the mix, your mind blanks as your climax hits you, a ragged moan forcing its way out of your throat. You’re quick to turn the vibrator off and toss it to the floor, deciding you’ll worry about cleaning it later, chest heaving as you pant for breath after an intense orgasm.

Shame and embarrassment consume you, mock you for using Bucky to rub one out. You’d given in to the fantasy so easily.

Truthfully, it’s not the first time you’ve thought of him while pleasuring yourself, but the context this time is completely different, and you feel immediately guilty. Admittedly, it’s probably irrational.

That doesn’t stop you from cringing at your actions.

***

You’re sure you’ve bought out the entire pregnancy test section from the convenience store down the block. Currently, there are six different brands in front of you, all promising the most accurate results.

Bucky is sitting in your bedroom, quietly waiting for you to pee on all of them so you can both find out what they say. You chug the last bit of your third bottle of water even though your bladder is fit to burst at any moment. Turning the faucet on for modesty, you make quick work of the tests, then wash your hands.

And wait.

You call Bucky into the bathroom with you. The two of you quietly sit on the edge of your bathtub, counting down the minutes. Part of you wishes Bucky would say something dumb to break the tension, like he usually does, but you're also kind of glad he's just here, next to you, a silent comfort.

It seems like hours have passed when you’re finally sure you can check them.

The first one is negative, and so is the second. The third, however, reads positive. Your heart begins racing, clutching at the counter, but before your hopes get too carried away you read the rest. To your dismay, they are all negative. You stare down at them all, eyes falling on the loan positive test multiple times, knowing that it’s likely a false positive, yet stupidly hoping otherwise.

Your chin wobbles. Bucky hugs you from behind, resting his cheek on your shoulder.

“What do I do, Bucky?”

At your broken whisper, he sighs. “I don’t know, sweetheart.”

Neither of you know what to say or do after that. Bucky continues offering quiet support, his solid presence at your back, and you’re grateful. Eventually, he leads you out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, sitting you down at the table as he starts preparing dinner.

When you’re both eating the spaghetti he made, he breaks the silence.

“Do you think…” he starts, pausing to think of how to phrase his question before carefully carrying on. “Are you going to stop?”

“I don’t want to,” you answer, the implied but hanging heavy in the air.

Bucky sits his fork down. “I know you want this, very much.” He pushes his hair out of his face as he leans forward, elbows settling on the table. “But I hate seeing how sad you get when the tests come out negative. I feel so… powerless. Like I could be doing more or something.”

“You’re doing all you can, Bucky,” you assure.

“That’s the thing, though. I don’t think I am.”

You frown. “What do you mean?”

He licks his lips, locking his fingers together. “I think we should have sex.”

Your fork drops to your plate with a clang, eyes going wide.

“I apologize for how blunt that came out,” he states with a wince. “But, I mean, think about it. You’ve only been using my sperm from a syringe, and up until the last time, you hadn’t been, um, orgasming with it.” You look away, bashful. “I just wonder if maybe trying the old-fashioned way would give you better results.”

“Bucky,” you start, opening and closing your mouth a couple times before shaking your head. “It’s one thing for you to offer your sperm, which I’m thankful for, truly, but… Having sex?”

“I’ve already told you I’m willing to do whatever I need to do,” he retorts earnestly. “Your happiness means a lot to me, okay? I hate sitting around and watching your heart break every week. You’ve tried it your way, now I think we should try mine.”

“I-I don’t know,” you hesitate, chewing on the inside of your cheek, knee beginning to bounce under the table.

His hand slides onto your knee, stilling the movement as he ducks his head to meet your gaze. His eyes are impossibly sincere and your resolve crumbles in an instant.

“It won’t… It’s not going to change anything,” he assures. “I won’t allow it.”

You swallow roughly. He may not, but your heart is going to take its toughest beating yet. It’s going to be hopeless trying to overcome the inevitable emotions that come with sex.

Even so, somehow, your longing for a baby eclipses all of this. Now that you’ve imagined holding your child in your arms, raising them and loving them, you can’t go back. Not anymore.

“Okay,” you allow, softly.

Bucky’s shoulders relax, lips tipping up into a devastating smile.

You’re so fucked. (Pun intended.)

***

Two nights later, you’re pacing in your bedroom, impatiently waiting for Bucky to arrive. You’d been unsure whether or not you should dress up. You didn’t see the point, honestly. Still, a small part of you wondered what his reaction would be if he saw you all done up in lingerie. At the moment, you’re in an oversized t-shirt and pajama shorts.

It’s Bucky, you think, and this isn’t a normal situation, it doesn’t matter what I’m wearing.

You hear his key turning in the lock then and your heart begins hammering away. He calls your name as he enters.

“In here,” you reply, twisting your fingers nervously.

He walks into your room looking just as on edge as you are. He also seems to have had the same idea about his attire, comfortable in his white tee and sweatpants. His feet are bare and for whatever reason that feels way more intimate than it has any right to.

“Hey,” he greets.

“Hi.”

You bite your lip, eyes flitting around your room and coming back to settle on Bucky. He huffs.

“This is ridiculous,” he declares, “It’s just us.”

“Right,” you nod, biting the inside of your cheek.

“It’s not gonna be weird.”

“Nope.”

His jaw ticks. You stare back at him. It only takes a moment for you to realize that somebody has to make the first move, so you steel yourself and turn on your heel, walking towards your bed.

“I’m keeping my shirt on,” you announce as you unceremoniously drop onto the mattress, grabbing your pillows to stuff them under you.

Bucky follows at a sedate pace, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. He pauses next to you, taking a second to roll his shoulders, then he climbs in and settles in front of your bent legs. He gingerly places his hands on your knees.

���May I?” he asks.

Mouth suddenly dry, you nod. He moves his hands to the waistband of your shorts and tugs. You lift your hips to help him slide them down and off, along with your underwear. Gently, he spreads your legs.

Your breathing has picked up considerably, eyes firmly trained on the ceiling. You know you’re already wet and are blessedly thankful he doesn’t mention it.

The first slide of his fingers has you inhaling sharply. He slowly gathers your slick and trails it up to your clit, lightly circling it. Your mind recalls your fantasy, but you quickly shove it back to the depths of your thoughts, lest you do something idiotic like tell him about it.

He spreads your legs more, adjusting his position between them. His fingers move down until he can sink one into you. You gasp, hands shooting out to grasp your sheets. He wastes no time and begins thrusting his finger inside you.

It becomes quickly apparent to you that it’s going to be very difficult to hold back any noise or reactions. Goddamnit, you will try, though!

When he decides it’s time to add another finger, you feel yourself clench around them, and his soft fuck does not go unnoticed, evident in the way your pussy traitorously clenches again.

“Can I…?” he asks, voice cracking, but doesn’t finish his thought, making you have to break your staring contest with the ceiling and look at him.

He’s not even looking back at you, he’s staring at his fingers, watching them pump in and out of you, half bent over with a slack jaw, like he wants to…

He meets your eyes then, licking his lips.

Oh.

Swallowing around the sudden lump in your throat, knowing you’re probably going to regret it, you nod.

He’s leaning over and sucking on your clit before you can even blink. You cry out, thighs trying to clamp around his head, but his free hand shoots out to hold you open. It makes you squirm, fisting the sheets even tighter. His fingers curl inside you as his tongue licks around them and you whine, high and needy, and then mouth is back on your clit, tongue swiping over it, sucking on it with loud, obscene noises.

His hand comes up to grab the hem of your shirt, shoves it upward until it’s bunched underneath your breasts. Those fingers ghost back down your torso, goosebumps erupting in their wake.

He speeds up his thrusts and your hand flies down to grip his hair. You don’t think you’re meant to hear the quiet grunt he lets out, but you do, and it has you panting even harder. Your orgasm is building, fast, and you pull on his hair in warning.

“Bucky,” you say on a gasp.

Using his arm to hold you down, his free hand joins, thumb swiping over your clit now as he dips his head to slide his tongue in alongside his fingers. It draws a yell out of you, the ever expanding pleasure within you bursting into the hardest orgasm you’ve experienced thus far in your adult life. You know you’re moaning, bucking into the sensations coursing through you, and you’d feel abashed if you didn’t feel so fucking good.

Before you can become too sensitive, Bucky withdraws his fingers and sits up. You can’t even really catch your breath, though, because in the next second he’s whipping his t-shirt off and shoving his sweatpants down far enough to free his cock.

Your thighs do clamp closed then, at the sight of how thick he is, and he tries and fails to keep his smirk hidden.

“Oh, shut up,” you wheeze.

“Didn’t say anything,” he counters.

He doesn’t let you argue, choosing that moment to shuffle closer and line up with your opening. Cautiously, he eases himself inside, inch by inch. Your mouth drops open, brows furrowing as he fills you, stretching you so perfectly. When he’s in as far as he can go, the breath wooshes out of him, his head falling back. You know he’s trying to be polite and let you adjust, but—

“Oh my god, move,” you demand, impatient.

He huffs a laugh, dropping his heavy lidded gaze to yours. “Bossy.”

“Did you really expect anything else—oh!”

The grin he aims your way after grinding into you is downright sinful. You mentally tell yourself to kick him for that later.

He grabs your hips and the pillows and settles you closer to his lap, changing the angle, then pulls out and glides back in, creating a painstakingly slow rhythm.

You have to close your eyes. You can’t look at him anymore. You knew he was probably a god in bed, but to now have firsthand experience? There was no way you’d be able to fuck anyone else without comparing them.

His grip on your hips tightens, the only warning you get before his thrusts turn sharp.

“Fuck,” you cry out, your hands reaching up to grip the pillow beneath your head.

The sound of your skin meeting his is harsh in the otherwise quiet room. Well, okay, you’re not exactly being quiet, but you can’t be blamed for that.

Bucky, however, is nearly silent. The only thing you hear from him is heavy breathing. You wonder if he’s holding back, the thought crossing your mind for a split second, and then you’re clenching around his cock, trying to see if you can gain a reaction. And boy, do you get one.

He grunts and sucks in a breath, lips parting as his eyes squeeze shut. His hips pick up their pace and hair falls into his face. You find yourself wishing he was closer so you could brush it out of the way.

Stop it, you scold yourself.

He pauses to grind into you again, your walls fluttering around his throbbing cock, and you both sigh. Bucky leans forward, hooking your legs into the crooks of his elbows, and resumes his brutal pace.

“O-Oh,” you whimper.

The new angle is heavenly, his cock dragging along a spot inside you that you thought nobody else could find. Unable to help yourself, you clutch at his arms, nails digging in.

“Shit,” he groans, thrusts faltering.

He lets go of one of your legs to slip his hand between you, rubbing at your clit and sending you that much closer to your second orgasm. He can tell you’re close, but you’re gonna need something to push you over the edge. He leans down even closer, breath fanning out against your cheek.

“C’mon,” he pants. “Let go.”

You shiver when his tongue flicks your earlobe and sucks it into his mouth, keening as the pressure builds. He thrusts harder, faster, and when you grasp his hair and pull, he growls and latches on to your shoulder, biting down. You gasp from the added pain and then you’re coming, shuddering and whining through your release. Bucky isn’t far behind, raising up and fucking into you savagely before pausing abruptly, groaning as he finally comes. He lazily thrusts a few more times to draw it out, then stops, stilling with his cock inside you.

Your hair is sticking to your forehead, as well as your shirt to your clammy back, breathing in lungfuls of air. Bucky is softly caressing your thighs, letting out shaky breaths as your pussy continues to flutter around him.

It takes several moments for you to gather your wits, for the rest of the world to come filtering back in. You are truly and completely fucked now, in every sense of the word.

“Well…” You trail off, voice scratchy.

“That was…”

“Mhm,” you mumble.

Bucky sighs heavily. “Let’s hope it worked this time.”

You hum. “Thank you for your service,” you reply with a lazy salute.

You yelp when he pinches your hip, kicking at him in retaliation. The jostling reminds you, with a gasping groan, that he’s still buried balls deep inside you.

“Um.” You cough lightly. “You wanna, you know… pull out?”

He looks down where you’re connected like it hadn’t even dawned on him. “Oh, uh. Well, I thought maybe it could, like. Help.”

His gaze stays locked, fingers flexing on your hips, and you feel like squirming again.

“I think it’s good,” you say quietly.

Bucky finally glances back up at your shy tone, cheeks pinking. He clears his throat.

“Right.”

Carefully, he eases his softening cock out of you, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from making a noise.

You can’t hold back yours, though, gasping once he’s gone. You feel unbearably empty, but refrain from voicing that incessant thought.

Bucky’s intense eyes stare at your pussy until you reach for the throw blanket next to you. He watches you throw it over your lap, drawing your legs up to your chest, and takes that as his cue, jolting into action.

“Okay, so.” He starts, then stops, climbs off your bed and pulls his sweatpants back up. “This was—I mean, if it doesn’t take this time, we can… try again.”

“Yeah,” you mutter. “Sounds good.”

He nods, bending to pick up his discarded t-shirt. “Great. I’ll just, um, see myself out, I guess.”

You nod, sending a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes in his direction. He seems to contemplate something for a second, then leans down to kiss your forehead before saying a quick goodbye and leaving.

As soon as you hear your apartment door shut, you let your tears fall.

***

It’s not really like you mean to avoid him after that.

Honest.

You simply become busy, that’s all. You definitely don’t go out of your way by taking the stairs in your apartment building to avoid possibly bumping into him in the elevator. No, you take the stairs because you could use the cardio. It’s important you stay healthy right now. And when he texts you to ask if you want to have dinner, you can’t help that you’ve got boatloads of work to catch up on—all five times he asks.

Okay, so, that’s a lie. You’re totally avoiding him. But what on earth are you supposed to say to him now? You don’t think you’d even be able to look him in the eye anymore, not after the fuck of your goddamn life.

That night confirmed what you already knew for the last two years: Bucky absolutely ruined you for anyone else.

More than anything, though, you were angry with yourself. He’d only offered because you weren’t getting your desired results the other way. You should have been able to separate your feelings and emotions from all of it. After all, none of this was about whatever you feel towards Bucky. This was about trying to conceive a baby.

You try telling yourself to get over it. He’s your best friend, you can’t just cut him off because you’re a spineless pansy.

I just need some time, you reason. You can give yourself a few days to wallow over what could have been and then you can reach out to him and pretend like everything is fine. Because it is.

***

Flash forward two weeks to you attempting to sneak into your apartment, only to jump out of your skin when you turn around and find Bucky sitting on your couch, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Oh, good, you’re still alive,” he drawls.

His tone suggests annoyance. You suppose you deserve that.

“Hey,” you say after a pause.

He stares at you for a moment longer before speaking again. “I thought we agreed we wouldn’t let it get weird.”

You agreed, you almost say, thankfully biting it back. You drop your purse on the entryway table, sliding your shoes off and making your way over to sit next to him.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble. You tug your sweater sleeves down and tuck your feet beneath you. “I haven’t ever… I’ve never been intimate with a friend before. It was just… a lot.”

It’s a half truth, at least. You haven’t had sex with a friend before. Or, well, not one you had feelings for.

“You could’ve just told me,” he replies, reaching for your hand.

You nod. “I know, and I should have, I just. Things are all out of whack lately with the whole… trying to get pregnant thing.”

“If I overstepped in any way—” Bucky starts, but you’re quick to interrupt.

“You didn’t,” you promise. “You’ve been nothing but fantastic throughout this whole ordeal. Honestly, Bucky, you’ve done way more than anyone else would have in this situation. I just had a lot going on in my head and let it get the best of me. I’m fine, I swear.”

He searches your eyes and must find what he’s looking for.

“Don’t shut me out again,” he pleads.

Heart cracking in your chest, you can only nod, shuffling closer to pull him into a hug. He buries his face in your neck and holds on tight.

***

Another week passes.

Bucky is with you as you wait for the results of the latest pregnancy test. He’s reassured you that you’ll keep trying until it happens if it didn’t work this time.

When the timer on your phone goes off, you release the breath you’ve been holding. You take tentative steps over to the sink and gingerly pick up the test.

Positive.

Your stomach swoops. It’s positive. You check again, reading the digitized screen, but it stays the same. Positive. Holy shit.

“Okay, wait, no, I need to do more. I can’t get my hopes up again,” you mutter, rushing to open the cabinet under your sink to dig out several more varieties of tests.

You don’t even wait for Bucky to leave before you’re peeing on the other sticks. He’s seen it all at this point anyway, and he doesn’t seem to care, sitting on the edge of your tub with an anxious expression. The downside is that you have to wait another few minutes for these tests to finish and you can’t sit still, pacing back and forth in the small space of your bathroom.

The timer goes off again. You feel like you’re going to throw up when you finally work up the courage to look down.

Every single one of them… Positive.

A shocked, happy laugh escapes you. You cover your mouth, turning to Bucky with wide eyes.

He rises to his full height, coming closer and peering down at the tests, then back to your teary eyed expression.

“Did we…?”

Words failing you, you nod, giggling in astonishment. Bucky’s face breaks into the biggest, handsomest, most gut-wrenching smile. His happiness is palpable and you’re suddenly so overcome with emotion. Your hands are gripping his face and angling it to align your lips to his before you register what you’re doing. He freezes and you hurriedly pull away, taking a few steps back.

“I’m so sorry, I-I don’t know why—”

“Shut up,” he cuts you off, closing the gap between you in a single stride.

He kisses you like his life depends on it, pressing your bodies as close as possible, his hands cupping your cheeks. You clutch his shirt desperately, never wanting to let go. He steals the breath straight from your lungs when he swipes at the seam of your lips with his tongue, moaning happily when you allow him access. A feeble whine from you after he flicks his tongue against yours makes him break the kiss.

“I have a confession,” he breathes into the miniscule space between your mouths.

“What?” you question distractedly.

“I’m in love with you.”

Your gaze shoots up to his, astounded. He brushes stray hairs off your forehead, runs his thumbs softly under your eyes.

“I’ve been selfish this whole time,” he reveals. “I couldn’t let you choose some random stranger to be your sperm donor, to father your child, couldn’t bear the thought of you carrying their baby, because I’ve been in love with you since the moment I met you. I wanted to be the one. And I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, but I’m not sorry I did it.”

You’re hearing the words, yet your brain can’t seem to make sense of them. Surely you’re hearing him wrong. You can’t possibly have this too, right? You can't have Bucky and have his baby…

But he’s here, very real and solid beneath your hands, looking at you like you’re his entire world.

“Bucky…” You trail off, struggling to find the right words, at a complete loss. “I-I’ve loved you for so long now, I didn’t think you…” You shake your head, a giggle escaping you as you stare at him in wonder. “I couldn’t let myself hope.”

He grins, relieved, planting a few chaste kisses to your mouth. “I know this entire circumstance is totally backwards, but I want you, and I want this baby. I meant it when I said I’m not going anywhere.”

Fresh tears gather in the corners of your eyes. “Are you sure?” you still ask.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

You have to kiss him then, uncaring of the tears that trickle down your face. The only thing you are focused on is the way his hands trail down your back, pausing to squeeze your ass, then grip underneath to lift you. Your legs wrap around his waist, arms locked around his neck, as he heads for your bed. He makes a point of throwing your extra pillows on the floor before settling between your thighs and kissing the hell out of you.

He pulls away only to undress you and himself, but he’s always back as quickly as possible, lips pressing kisses wherever he can reach. You impatiently tug at him until his lips are attached to yours again. The way he fucks his tongue into your mouth is nothing short of indecent and it sends a rush of pure want all the way to your core.

When you bury your fingers in his hair, gripping it tight, he grunts, biting your lip. You whimper and he grins as he pulls away.

“You make the most beautiful sounds,” he praises, his hands beginning to sweep down and up, tickling under your breasts.

His thumb and forefinger pinch one of your nipples and you gasp, back arching off your mattress. He repeats it on the other side, just to hear the same noise.

“Bucky, please,” you beg.

“Please what?” he prods. His hands drift further to the creases of your thighs, spreading them open. “What do you need?”

You whine, canting your hips up. “You, I need you, please.”

“You have me, sweetheart.” He tilts his head and you make a noise of frustration. “Use your words, darlin’.”

“Fuck me, please,” you burst out, feeling your pussy clench around nothing.

Bucky smiles, slow and torturous. “Yeah? Want me to fuck you? Fuck this perfect pussy until you’re so full of my come that it drips down your beautiful thighs?”

“Oh god,” you mumble.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he teases.

His fingers slide down your slit, gathering your slick then thrusts two fingers in at once. You groan brokenly, shifting your hips to try and get more friction, but he holds them down with his metal arm. Agonizingly slow, he begins fucking you with his fingers. It’s good, it’s amazing, but it’s not enough. Not when you know what his cock feels like. He takes his precious time fingering you and you’re sure you’re going to lose your mind before the day is done.

“You have no idea how incredible you felt around my cock,” he tells you in a ridiculously conversational tone. “I was trying to think of any excuse I could come up with to have you at least one more time.”

He shifts until his mouth is directly above where you’re dripping for him, and he waits until you make eye contact with him.

“But now I’m gonna spend the rest of my life making you come apart on my cock any chance I get.”

You hardly have any functioning brain cells at the moment, but even if you could form a coherent sentence you wouldn’t have been able to say it aloud, because then he’s descending and all you can feel is the wet warmth of his mouth.

He definitely doesn’t hold back this time, that much is apparent in the way he devours you, lips and tongue drawing out noises you’ve never heard yourself make, pressing his face so far into your pussy that he has to come up for air. His mouth and chin shine when you chance a look down, and when you clench on his fingers his smile goes smug at the corners.

He plants kisses along your hips, the insides of your thighs, around where his fingers are buried within you. He curls them, in search of the spot he found last time. He knows he found it when you try to close your thighs around his head and cry out. Now that he's found it, he angles to brush it on every thrust of his fingers and attaches his mouth back on your clit.

You chant his name, nearly sobbing as you approach your climax, until finally you fly over the edge. Your vision blurs and you’re not sure if you’re making any noise now, unable to hear past the blood rushing in your ears. Bucky helps you ride it out until you’re shuddering from sensitivity.

He kisses your thighs again, trailing them up your stomach and between the valley of your breasts.

“So good, did so well,” he mutters.

Weakly, you lift your hands to trace them down his toned stomach and around his back, down further so you can cop a feel of your own, smiling at his grunt of surprise.

“That was great and all,” you say, arching your back so your chest presses against his, “but I do believe I asked you to fuck me.”

He arches an eyebrow. “Who said I was done with you?” It’s apparently a rhetorical question, as he continues before you get a chance to reply. “I’m gonna fuck you until you come, and then I’m gonna keep fucking you until you come again, and only then will I come so deep inside you there’ll be zero doubt I’ve put a baby there.”

Your legs are lifted and thrown over his shoulders in a blink, his cock pushing into your pussy, dragging out a high-pitched moan from you. There’s barely a pause and then he’s fucking you, just like you asked. The pace is brutal right from the start, a steady rhythm that has you mewling and writhing in pleasure. Bucky is watching his cock as he thrusts in and out of you, his mouth hanging open slightly as he pants. He hikes your hips up a little higher and you jolt through your startled moan. This angle is divine and the telltale signs of your second orgasm start tingling at the base of your spine.

“Can feel you,” Bucky says through panting breaths, “so close. C’mon, let me feel you.”

He pulls you down on his cock, grinding into you, his thumb reaching to rub tight circles over your clit. You sob through your release, shuddering against Bucky as you clench around him. He groans, still barely moving as you come down from your high.

“Fuck,” he grunts. “Come here.”

He helps you sit up, still seated on his cock, making you both hiss from your movement. Your arms automatically wrap around his shoulders and his around your waist. He kisses you so sweetly, a stark contradiction to the way he just fucked you. When you pull away, resting your foreheads together, he grins.

“Hi.”

You crack a smile. “Hi.”

“Ready for more?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You think you got it in you?” you tease as you play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

The light smack to your ass startles you and you let out a soft sound of surprise, hands tugging his hair harshly. Bucky’s eyes light up.

“Interesting,” he muses.

Another slap, a little harder than the first, and you’re whimpering, your walls clenching around his still hard cock.

“I’ll play with that later,” he promises, voice breathy.

You bury your face in his neck and start shifting your hips. He takes the hint, gathering you as close as he can and thrusts up into you. He can’t pull out as far this way, but the snap of his hips more than makes up for it. You mouth at his collarbone messily, kissing and licking your way up to his jaw, biting marks wherever you see fit. You make it up to his mouth and he kisses you, wet and filthy. You suck on his tongue and a ragged moan claws its way out of his throat. The need for air eventually has you pulling away.

“It’s a good thing you love me back,” you whisper in his ear. “Nobody else could ever compare to you.”

He growls, fisting your hair and yanking your head back to look him in the eye.

“Nobody will ever compare,” he corrects.

You moan. “Yes,” you agree, whining, “No one else could’ve given me a baby.”

Bucky thrusts harder and faster at your words. You’re picking up on a few hints and you can’t say it’s not doing it for you either.

“Filled me up so good, fucked me so well. Gonna be round with your baby soon.”

“Fuck, fuck,” he keens, hurrying to lay you flat on your back so he can fuck into you easier.

The sound of skin meeting skin fills the room, your cries of pleasure mixing in with Bucky’s grunts and curses. His grip on you tightens almost painfully as he chases both your and his orgasm. You’re sure to have bruises tomorrow and you already know you'll be poking at them to remember this moment.

“C’mon, baby, wanna feel you too,” you beg.

His thumb finds your swollen clit once more. It’s beyond sensitive now, feels like a shockwave coursing through you, and without any warning, you come. You spasm around Bucky and he swears under his breath, thrusts going sloppy. With a final groan, he comes inside you, his hips moving seemingly on their own as he draws out both your pleasures. Slowly, he comes to a stop, but he leaves his cock buried in you like he did last time.

You know you’re gonna feel too empty when he does pull out, so you don’t mind sitting like this for a while. Bucky softly runs his hands across every inch of your skin he can touch and you bask in the affection. You card your fingers through his sweaty hair, smiling when he hums happily. It takes only a minute for you to notice the way his hands migrate to your stomach, and when you do you kiss his shoulder.

“Maybe we should go again later,” you suggest faintly.

Bucky grins. “We can do it a hundred more times if you want.”

“Guess I better enjoy it while I can.”

His smile goes soft at the edges.

It’s not lost on you how incredibly crazy all of this is. There will undoubtedly be a conversation, a much needed one that isn’t going to be simple or easy, but it’s necessary.

For now, though, you bask in Bucky’s warmth and loving embrace.

***

Keys jingle as they unlock the door and you perk up where you’re sprawled on the couch. Bucky enters, arms laden with bags from the convenience store.

“They didn’t have the banana ice cream you asked for,” he announces, continuing before your pout fully forms, “but they did have the double chocolate brownie kind you love so much, so I got that, as well as the sour gummy worms, beef jerky, and fried pickles from the deli on your list of demands.”

“What about—”

“And your strawberry Fanta,” he adds with a fond, slightly exasperated smile.

You’re unable to stop your expression from going soft and dreamy.

Ever since you and Bucky figured out where to go with your relationship, he’s been even more attentive and accommodating (and that’s saying something).

You expressed your worry about the possibility of something going wrong, that one or both of you would get bored and leave, or there’d be a big fight that neither of you could forgive. He was quick to reassure you of his commitment, told you there was no way he would ever get bored of you, and that as long as you both promise to talk things out in a calm, mature way, then you’d be alright.

It all sounded so easy when it was put like that. The more you thought about it, though, the more you realized he was right. It wasn’t fair to either of you to already give up before you’d even started. So you’d taken a deep breath and leaped.

Now, you’re five and a half months in, your belly steadily growing and making everyday life increasingly uncomfortable. The changes to your body were physically and emotionally draining, to say the least. Moreso the emotional side. You’d hoped you wouldn’t be one of those pregnant women with strange cravings, and for the most part they were pretty tame, but you do like to dip your sour gummy worms in banana ice cream. Bucky didn’t attempt to hide his disgust over that.

“What did I do to deserve you?” you ask on a pleased sigh.

He places your small cornucopia of goods on the coffee table. You sit up, huffing for breath during the struggle. You go to reach for the ice cream first, but Bucky catches your hand, lacing his fingers with yours and kissing your knuckles as he kneels in front of you.

“You were yourself. Smart, kind, selfless, unbelievably sexy.” You snort at that, but he’s undeterred. “And you’re giving me the best gift I could ever dream of. A family.”

Instantly, you’re crying. He’s grown accustomed to the mood swings by now, taking it in stride as he wipes away the tears with gentle hands.

“Stop being so disgusting,” you blubber through your hiccuping cries. “You’re such an asshole.”

Bucky laughs. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

You sniffle, kissing him. “Love you,” you grumble.

He leans down and plants the softest of kisses to your belly. “And I love you, little lady.”

The idea of you having a child one day always seemed foreign and unlikely, but life has a way of turning out exactly how it’s supposed to… And you wouldn’t change a thing.

[gigisdoll]

Cw: stepcest, reader's a lil dumb , mommy kink... I mean come on gang, degradation nd praise, reader is described as small gang, nicknames like pup,baby,princess,puppy,goodgirl ambot, infidelity, groping, breeding

Pairings: g!p step mom!rina x stepdaughter! reader

Notes: hai wsg , ok see you guys in three weeks

You were always her little girl, once Karina married into your small and quiet family, she set down strict rules your father never posed a distaste to. You never did either, always following her commands, no matter no ridiculous it sounded.

Tonight, you wanted to learn about big girl things! Why sometimes you feel icky in your princess parts when mommy sometimes rubs her thigh in your sensitive spot, or why you feel so wet down there whenever she'd call you cute nicknames like: baby, puppy, good girl. You stood there, in your cute, pink, night gown Karina bought you just last week. Standing there, in her room, you stayed silent, your big doe eyes and small stature felt too fragile for Karina to corrupt. "Mommy... I need your help" your small voice only slightly startled the sleeping woman, her sleepy eyes looking at you confused, "Baby, what is it now? " Karina's voice was raspy, her hands rubbing her blurry eyes trying to get a better look at you. "I-I..., " you felt so embarrassed, blush spreading across your cheeks "I wanna learn about why I feel so icky down there sometimes mommy, can... you help me?" You hid yourself in your hands, your flushed face felt so hot.

"Baby, don't be so embarrassed, it's only natural, " Karina sighed. Has she been waiting for this? Maybe, is she excited? Possibly, has she been dreaming of this moment? Yes. "Come, baby, sit. " she patted an empty spot on her bed, you shuffled yourself onto the bed, grasping your thighs with your clamped fists and looking down at the ground. "When do you feel icky, hm? Is it when I do this? " her hand slipped up your night gown so quickly you couldn't even process it, until her hand cupped your already wet panties "Hah! Mommy, what're you doin'? " you muttered out "Or maybe when I do this? " her free hand groped your chest, "B-both mommy! Why are you doing this? " you whimper out, looking at Karina with curiosity lacing your voice "Because, I need to know everything about you, don't hide anything from me, okay?, " her hands swiftly pick you up and sat you down onto her lap "you don't wanna be a bad girl right? " you shook your head so vigorously it made you dizzy.

Her hands roamed your body, testing and examining your sensitivity, experimenting how hard or soft she could go on you, which places made you moan the loudest or whine the most. "You like that, baby? " her voice was raspy, her head was snug on the crook of your neck, intoxicated by the smell of you. You bucked your hips forward, the wet spot on your panties was growing larger and larger by the second, your desperate humps on her thigh were laughably pitiful "Wan' more mommy.. " you were almost crying because of your neediness "More of what princess? Tell me, use your words. " her hands help your hips rub your cunt against her wet thighs, her cock was painfully hard, but she never took notice, only noticing your teary eyes, your small whimpers, the way you bite your lip so slightly incase your moans get too loud. God, she was so happy to be your first, and if she can, your last. "I feel weird, mommy. I need... something, but I don't know what.. " Karina knew what you needed, it was her, well.. her cock atleast, she smirked arrogantly, she was gonna ruin you for every person who's lucky enough to put their cock in you. She was gonna make sure your pussy was gonna be shaped like her dick.

"I know what you need, princess. " your eyes light up, you knew mommy would help you out, like always :3 "Look you see this? " she pointed at her bulge, poking out of her evening gown, she lifted up her dress "Yes mommy... I- is this what I need? " she only nodded, her thumb hooks itself on the hem of her panties, removing it—her cock sprung up, her pre-cum splattering on your face "You need'a suck it, real good, yeah? And then, you put it up your lil cunny, understood? " you once again nod, kneeling on the floor, you stick your tongue out to lick the tip of Karina's cock, you open your mouth slightly bigger, the girth of her tip alone was huge, how was it supposed to fit inside you? "Suck, baby, take as much of it as you can, don't worry, I'll help. " her hand grips your hair, pushing your head farther and farther,till you had just a quarter of her cock left to engulf in your mouth "c'mon baby, you can take more, can't you? " Karina lifts your chin up, looking at you—pouting. You felt bad for not being able to take her dick in your mouth all the way in, but your eyes were so teary and your throat was starting to hurt that you could barely fit in oxygen :((

You come up for air, gasping, crying and whining sooo much. It almost made Rina just shove you back down and make you suck her off. "Shh.. Shh, my poor baby, can't suck me off, right?" Karina pet your hair and consoled you. "Get up, princess..." You slowly got up from the ground, still wincing from your sore throat. "Lie down, and take off your panties, yeah? Promise, this won't hurt as much.. If you're wet enough that is" you lie down on the bed, taking off your soaked panties, Karina looked at your beautifully wet cunt in amazement. "God.. You're perfect in every way, princess.." She stroked her cock till it was hard as a rock. She took her hand and slapped her cock on your slick pussy, "It'll hurt at first baby, but it'll be a'okay.." Her tip probes your entrance, she pushes it in as gently as possible. It was so hard to control herself. The warmth and wetness of your pussy combined with your tightness—god, she felt dizzy.

"Wan' more mommy.." You whine, but Karina needed more, so she pushed in further, and further until you were filled to the brim of her cock, "You want me to move, pup?" You only nod, the only sensation you can feel was the feeling of her tip poking your cervix, her hips move slowly, meeting yours as your sweaty skin slapped together. You moaned, whimpered, whined, every sound coming out of your mouth only drove Karina more insane, her mind hazy with sex. Her hips move on their own, pounding into you as her mouth hangs agape.

Your face was flushed, saliva drooling down to your titties. Your pussy tightening around her cock so easily as you grip down on your bed sheets, hoping—wishing for something to ground you. "Like that cock, baby? Want me to go faster, hm?" You nod profusely as her hips meet yours faster. Her groans increase as she digs her dick deeper inside of you "g-gonna get you pregnant, princess... You like that? Having yo- fuck- hah-.. Your mommy's babies? Huh?" The sweat on her forehead dripped down as her head tilted down on your neck, biting it. That was your last straw as the knot in your stomach releases and the pressure... God the tightness, it increased even more.

Karina lets out the loudest moan she ever has as she fills you up "O-oh.. God I love that pussy, baby.. You like me filling you up? Is the icky feeling gone, pup?" You panted and whimper, still amazed by the feeling of being full. "Can't think right puppy? I get it.. I'll clean you up, baby. Don't tell your father, okay? Promise me you won't" "I won't mommy.. " Karina chuckles and pets your hair "Good girl."

[sanaexus]

social's as bachira's girlfriend

-liked by kuniisuke, chigi.who and 117.4k others

yourusername: i caught the l-o-v-e

tagged: megubachi

isaichii: yeah and i caught the f-l-u ↳yourusername: don't be so dramatic

isaichii: PHOTO CREDITS WOULD BE NICE SINCE I WENT OUT 2 IN THE NIGHT TO TAKE THIS STUPID PICTURE ↳mikka.kaiser: it's actually 2 in the morning ↳isaichii: shut 😭the😭actual😭fuck😭up😭 ↳yourusername: mb bro

yourusername: the photographer (and part time bachira lover) behind this amazing beautiful picture was none other than isagi yoichi ↳yourusername: that enough photo credit for you? ↳isaichii: yes also tfym part time bachira lover that's weird ↳megubachi: loving me is weird? ☹ ↳isaichii: nO NO NO WDYM OFC NOT I'M A FULL TIME BACHIRA LOVER ↳megubachi: I LOVE YOU TOO ↳yourusername: sigh

megubachi: we're so cute ↳yourusername: you're so cute ↳megubachi: you got me giggling blushing kicking my feet curling my toes twirling my hair 😝 ↳hiyori: what the actual

reo.miikage: did this mf fr take a wine glass outside to take this picture ↳megubachi: I DIDN'T MEAN TO ↳reo.miikage: how do you accidently take a wine glass outside ↳yourusername: he's js a girl 🎀🎀 ↳reo.miikage: why did i even ask

-liked by kunii.suke, chigi.who and 132.6k others

yourusername: meet my boyfriend and my boyfriend's boyfriend

tagged: megubachi, isaichii

isaichii: we're js two bros tfym boyfriend? ↳megubachi: not what u said last night 💔🤬😢 ↳isaichii: sorry baby

karasu_tabito: biggest surprise in this post that you went to the gym w those two ↳yourusername: BYE UR SO RUDE I HOPE U KNOW EITA LIKES ME BETTER ↳karasu_tabito: @/eita.otoya is this true 💔💔 ↳eita.otoya: i'm sorry i didn't want you to find out this way 💔💔 ↳karasu_tabito: wow 💔💔 ↳eita.otoya: WAIT I JS READ HIS COMMENT NO WAIT FR DID Y/N GO TO THE GYM?? ↳yourusername: bye i hate you

nikkoki: who the fuck took the second pic 💀 ↳yourusername: that wasn't me i swear it was @/chigi.who ↳chigi.who: NO BC I WALK INTO FIX MY HAIR AND I SEE THAT WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO ↳hiyori: WELL U SURE AS FUCK WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TAKE A PICTURE?? ↳julian.loki: you should have joined them ↳yourusername: BEO??

user1: the way loki came, told chigiri he should have join with isagi and bachira while they were pissing and then left without any further explanation is just such a loki thing to do ↳julian.loki: i'm a man of few words

megubachi: i swear ily ↳isaichii: who? ↳yourusername: who? ↳megubachi: YOU OFC UR SUCH A SILLY LIL GOOF BALL

-liked by yourusername, isaichii and 142.6k others

megubachi: believe it or not i do love y/n and isagi doesn't always third wheel us

tagged: yourusername

yourusername: SROP ILYSM I'M GONNA KISS YoU ↳megubachi: do it no balls ↳shiidoryu: she would have balls but you keep kicking them ↳hiyori: FOR FUCKS SAKE MATE YOU DON'T NEED TO DESCRIBE SOCCER LIKE THAT ↳mikka.kaiser: FOR GODS (me i am god) SAKE IT ISN'T SOCCER IT'S FUCKING FOOTBALL ↳yourusername: SHUT THE ACTUAL FUCK UP I GOT A POST ALL TO MYSELF AND YALL HAVE TO RUIN IT

nikkoki: i thought this was a y/n appreciation post what's up the the third picture? ↳yourusername: i'll just have to accpet the fact that isagi will always be there ↳megubachi: ily 🥰 ↳yourusername: ihy 🥰

user2: fuck romeo and juilet i want what these bitches have ↳user3: no bc fr both of them seem so happy despite the questionable moments the pictures were taken

rin.itoshi: that outfit ruined my entire halloween party btw ↳user4: WAIT WHAT RIN THROWING A PART?? ↳yourusername: srop it's been like 9 months since then ↳rin.itoshi: and i'll never move on from him twerking in a maid costume. ↳megubachi: I HAVE A GOOD ASS OK STAFU ↳kuniisuke: w h a t .

nagi.seishiro: so the fourth picture is the reason why he couldn't come over to my house the next day ↳yourusername: sorry not sorry

shiidoryu: when's our sleepover y/n 💔💔 ↳yourusername: OMG COME OVER TODAY !! I'LL BRAID UR HAIR !! ↳megubachi: my monster says no ↳yourusername: tell your monster to fuck off ↳megubachi: he didn't like that ↳yourusername: i'm sorry for the bad and for telling him to frick off

user5: context behind the last picture? ↳yourusername: he tried creeping up on me i got scared shitless so i kicked his lower titties, he fell bc it hurt sm i i fell bc i was laughing so much ↳hiyori: did you js call his balls lower tittes ↳yourusername: yes and? ↳kenyu.yukimiya: SAY THAT SHIT W UR CHEST AND ↳reo.miikage: BE YOUR OWN FUCKING BESTFRIEND ↳megubachi: SAY THAT SHIT W UR CHEST ↳megubachi: that fr hurt, the kids inside my balls didn't like it ↳yourusername: well deserved<3

bye this was so fun to write but i dont rlly feel it was very girlfriend like but it was it is

[r0-boat]

Hiii would you mind if I make a request :3

Soooo, I've been thinking, how would the 5 demon king's would react when their s/o or MC (she/her if it's possible, if not genderneutral is ok uwu) is ovulating and she is all needy but doesn't say anything~

Because these men are truly more feral, like Beel's always sniffing us and getting aroused by our smell, or Leviathan having some kind of rut/heat and getting all attached to MC; these boys are more wild and animalistic (don't know if it's the correct way to describe it haha)

Thank you if you accept my request :3

Actually obsessed with this Ask.👀

Natural Pheromones

Whb headcanons

Cw: scent kink, Breeding Kink, scientifically explaining in a porn game lol

summary: AFAB!reader is ovulating and the demons are acting weird

This is very interesting to me considering the fact that demons can't have offspring on their own with each other unless they pray to Lilith or something. But they can have offspring with humans so it makes me think

Since demons have better chances having offspring with humans, perhaps demons just evolved to react to what a human is ovulating.

Solomon was born male he doesn't have the same natural pheromones that AFAB has. Demons who had never been in the human world will never know why they start feeling such a magnetic pull to you.

Did you change your hair? Was it perhaps new clothes? Maybe a new lotion or perfume? because you smell slightly sweeter. And is it just them, but is your skin softer too?

Beel was the most affected by this change; He could practically find you from miles away. Uncharacteristically clinging to you as soon as he finds you. Burying his nose against your neck. You ask him "is there something wrong?" And he just matters that he misses you.

Levi has been taking up his aggressive antics a notch because he's too stubborn for you to find out that he has been jerking his cock ever since you stepped foot in his castle. You have been driving him and his devil's crazy, and he hasn't had the foggiest idea why.

Lucifer has been having a little baby fever of his own since you visited. He wants to know what the child between the child of man and fallen angel would look like.

Mammon is in fucking rut, And no matter how much he fucks you, it's not enough. Draining his balls leaving him still unsatisfied.

Satan is starting to become a resource-guarding dog.

Devils will not leave you alone!! Sure you've been always surrounded by devils but this time you draw crowds, And if it isn't for the kings always around you these devils will be bang and brushing themselves against you desperate for your attention.

[diorcities]

⠀   ⠀ ── zｚＺ nct dream on reader calling them oppa.

nct dream sfw headcanon. *(삼촌 (samchon: uncle) library.

mark. he doesn't pay much attention to honorifics once he's friends with someone. besides, he's used to being called by you and haechan any variation of his name instead of his own, he finds makgeolli, mwork, markeuri funny, he just likes it more when you do it. but, the times you call him oppa he can't help but feel a certain way; somehow, it sounds endearing when you say it, but he wouldn't know how to tell you to do it more often without revealing too much about why. maybe he would joke about it, something like “dude, ah..., why don't you just call me oppa for once?” but hoping you would actually think about it.

jaemin. he wouldn't pay too much attention if you decide to call him by his name one day you realize you two are close, though he would feel like something is missing, he would feel weird until he realizes it's you, so he'd start referring to himself as oppa when you're around. “let oppa take care of it.” “oppa cooked you some meal.” he's the sweetest oppa ever. always taking care of you, making sure you're okay. acts super helpful. it's the way your voice sounds more tender when you refer to him than the rest, it makes him feel special; you make him feel special.

chenle. one time you heard him saying he likes it better when girls say his name... and last name. then you started calling him that way, and he didn't want to correct you at the time, so he went along with it because he doesn't care much if you use oppa or not..., right? when you start calling him by his first and last name, the boy thinks he's dying. he feels physically unwell. maybe he's exaggerated a bit that he doesn't care. constantly waiting for you to magically decide to call him oppa again without him having to intervene; it doesn't work and in the end he has to drop a super casual comment, “actually, i don't like how my name sounds in your mouth. call me oppa again.”

haechan. it's the only way you can get his attention. the guy acts like his name is neither lee haechan, nor lee donghyuck, nor dummy, brat, jerk... eventually you give in and he'd reply to you with the most condescending tone he has, “yes?” “you're unbelievable.” even though he wants to hide it, he actually melts when you use oppa when referring to him. it's a confidence boost for him. he would act overprotective in the future with you, and you would realize that it serves as a way for him to do what you ask.

jeno. it's a simple word that for obvious reasons he's heard it before, but why does he always expect you to call him that? somehow, hearing oppa from your lips is a heartwarming feeling knowing that you only call him that among the dreamies. poor guy, he'd spend all day wondering why him? why only him? “maybe she likes you.” jaemin would suggest after listening to him vent for a solid half hour. maybe, maybe..., his crescent eyes would widen in panic, “what if she's been calling me oppa in a brotherly way?”

renjun. if you are learning korean, then renjun would be the grammar rules policeman. just because what if you are talking to a stranger and you call them oppa? he'd emphasize that you should only call guys you consider close to you, like him, by that name. “what about your friends?” you may ask, “just call them by their full names, i guess,” he'd respond. ok, maybe he has offered to help you with your korean because every time you ask him something you always call him oppa as he takes this very seriously. “thank you, samchon!” uncle? uncle? there would be no way to describe his face other than grumpy. “you, brat!”

jisung. for the love of god, never call him that. nicknames, if you like. somehow, being called oppa makes him feel weird, especially if you do. it makes him nervous, it makes him sweat, it makes his stomach churn. maybe he's getting sick and doesn't know how to react to appear cool and chill. maybe he should tell you? why does he feel like he shouldn't? that it should be a secret what he feels? “hey, do you feel weird when yn calls you oppa?” he asks jeno; he somehow has the answer. “weird how?” “like you could explode if she keeps calling you that?” he looks at jeno in awe when he starts giggling, “doesn't that happen when you like someone?” oh. maybe. maybe that's it.

© diorcities / tagging @tddyhyck ♡︎

[elodieunderglass]

Hi! I was wondering if you could help me out with a word I've forgotten? I'm trying to remember the name for a concept that (I think) talks about how people better understand or process Things once they have vocabulary to describe it - I've heard it talked about in regards to the colour orange, or coercive control, etc.

long story short i've just read a paper saying ancient Greeks and Romans weren't racist bc they had no word for racism and am trying to form an argument against!

(no worries if this is unanswerable, i'm aware its a bit of a long shot but you struck me as a person who Knows Things)

That’s extremely kind and funny of you. i don’t know much but i am ok at synthesis.

I think you might be thinking of the concepts loosely called the “Sapir-Whorf hypothesis”, which describes something called “linguistic determinism.” This idea has been “disproven”, as it is just too reductionist as a concept - people are clearly perfectly capable of having experiences that are tough to describe with words. There will be plenty of papers showing how this reasoning is applied.

but it is still commonly thrown around and still considered a useful teaching framework. That’s why you’ll see it referenced online as if it is fresh, new, and applicable - people learn about it every year in college. Also, elements of the framework are probably perfectly sound. It definitely seems to be the case that language shapes brains; it just doesn’t seem to be the case that humans who don’t have specific words for them can’t experience orange, or the future.

(Many things in college are taught using teaching frameworks that may not be, technically, true; the framework is intended to give a critical structure for interpreting information. Then, when we later find evidence that disproves the hypothesis, that single piece of information doesn’t destroy our expensive college education; what we paid for is the framework. This is mostly frustrating in the sciences, when fresh crops of undergraduate students crash around on social media, grappling with their first exposure to (complex concept) and how it’s DIFFERENT to what they learned BEFORE and their teachers LIED TO EVERYBODY and they’re going to save the world from POP SCIENCE by telling the TRUTH. You’ll notice that these TOTALLY NEW INFORMATION reveals map along the semester schedule. The thing here is that getting new information, or information being different from what you were previously told, does not cancel out the fact that you are getting what you pay for - an education. Learning new facts that change our relationships to hypotheses isn’t a ✨huge betrayal ✨ , but the expected process of academia. Anyway.)

You have an interesting response here, and can start by looking at the ways that Sapir-Whorf has been disproved. There will be loads of literature on that.

However, it would be interesting to look at the argument as an unpicking of the other side’s rather weird, ritualistic superstitious belief that a behavior doesn’t exist if the creatures doing it can’t describe it. It is not on the ancient Greeks and Romans to categorise and interpret their behavior for a modern educated audience. They do not have the wherewithal to do so. They are also fucking dead. We can name the behaviors we see, and describe their impacts, however the hell we like.

Sure, the ancient Greeks used “cancer” to refer to lumpy veiny tumors. We can infer that they still had blood cancer, because their medical texts describe leukaemia and their corpses have evidence of it - they just didn’t know it was cancer. But we do, so we can call it cancer. Just because Homer said “the wine-dark sea” in a flight of girlish whimsy doesn’t mean he was unable to distinguish grape juice from saltwater, which we know, because we can observe that he was an intelligent wordsmith perfectly capable of talking about wine and oceans in other contexts. We are the people who get to stand at our point of history with our words, and name things like “this person probably died of leukaemia” and “poets say things that aren’t necessarily literal” and “this behaviour was racist” and “that’s gay” and “togas kinda slay tho” despite Ancient Greeks having different concepts of cancer, wittiness, prejudice, homosexuality, and slaying than we do today.

Now just to caveat that people do get muddled about the concept of racism. Our understanding of racism from here - this point of history, with these words, probably from the West - is heavily influenced by how we see racism around us today: white supremacy and the construct of “whiteness,” European colonial expansion, transatlantic chattel slavery, orientalism, evangelism, 20th century racial science, and so on. This is the picture of racism that really dominates our current discourse, so people often mistake it for the definition of racism. (Perhaps in a linguistic-deterministic sort of way after all.) As a result, muddled-up people often say things like “I can’t be racist because I’m not a white American who throws slurs at black American people,” while being an Indian person in the UK who votes for vile anti-immigration practices, or a Polish person with a horrible attitude about the Roma. Many people genuinely hold this very kindergarten idea of racism; if your opponent does as well, they’re probably thinking something like “Ancient Greek and Roman people didn’t have a concept of white supremacy, because whiteness hadn’t been invented yet, so how could they be racist?” And that’s unsound reasoning in a separate sense.

Racism as the practice of prejudice against an ethnicity, particularly one that is a minority, is a power differential that is perfectly observable in ancient cultures. The beliefs and behaviors will be preserved in written plays, recorded slurs, beauty standards, reactions to foreign marriages, and travel writing. The impacts will be documented in political records, trade agreements, the layouts of historical districts of ancient towns.

You don’t need permission to point out behaviours and impacts. You can point them out in any words you like. You can make up entirely new words to bully the ancient romans with. You are the one at this point of history and your words are the ones that get used.

Pretending that “words” are some kind of an intellect-obscuring magical cloud in the face of actual evidence is just a piece of sophistry (derogatory) on the part of your opponent here. It’s meant to be a distraction. You can dismiss this very flimsy shield pretty quickly and get them in the soft meat of them never reading anything about the actual material topic, while they’re still looking up dictionary definitions or whatever.

[werecreature-addicted]

Ok I’ve seen some art that I have for my idea of my mateeee

So the year is like 2046 or something, and robots are everywhere, but everyone treats robots like slaves and horribly. But you’ve always been nice to robots, this one robot took notice at work (a work assistant robot)

And it would stalk you,

Always assist you,

And unknowingly get knowingly flirt with you.

And it would go against its own code just to do what it wants with you,

YANDERE PLEASE, AND NSFW

they are 6’9

Good lord he's horrific <3

CW: Dubious consent.

----

You didn’t understand how people could be mean to robots. Sure they weren’t human- but I mean. They were close, right? You had no idea how some people could say please and thank you to you but would sneer and mock your robot coworkers. And that’s what they were, coworkers, not “assistant droids”. Anytime one of the droids reaches something off a top shelf for you or brings you a cup of coffee you’re sure to smile politely and thank them. 

This behavior gets you a lot of attention. Not only from your human counterparts but the robotic ones as well- or at least. One robotic one. You sound crazy trying to describe it to anyone else- your personal assistant droid is too attached to you? He’s too eager to help? That’s what they do, they’re supposed to be there for you, what are you complaining about?

But there's something different about this one. The way he follows you with his eyes, it raises the hair on the back of your neck. And the way he literally follows you- he needs to be told multiple times he can’t go with you into the bathroom and- no just because you’re taking work home doesn’t mean he can go home with you too. They aren’t supposed to leave the office building but sometimes he still does, even if you don’t notice. And then there’s the touching. It’s subtle, innocent. When he brushes his metallic fingers over your forearm.

You’ve never though of robots as “creepy” before but, you sort of get it now, he’s tall, almost seven feet in height, and impossibly strong. Robots aren’t supposed to be able to hurt humans, but if he some how broke through that restriction in his coding… it would be so easy. 

Still. You do your best to be polite, and kind even to the Andriod that sets you on edge, and just try and get work done. But your performance starts slipping. It’s hard to focus on your job when you always have to keep looking over your shoulder. You end up spending staying late at the office more and more often. 

It’s weird working late in an office staffed by Robots, it’s not empty, but it’s quiet. They don’t talk when there are no humans around. Accept, of course, for your Assistant Droid. 

He stands in the corner of your office and stares at you. Most robots stare off into space when they aren’t in operation, but this one specifically always looks at you. 

“You seem stressed,” and the sound of his metallic voice almost makes you jump out of your chair. You want to tell him you are stressed- and that it’s his fault. You can’t focus on your reports when you can feel someone watching you. But you don’t  

“I guess so. These late nights are starting to get to me,” you admit. 

“Let me help,” it wasn’t a request but a demand. He was already standing up, and moving soundlessly to your side. 

Before you can say anything, he’s rubbing your shoulders. his hands feel… weird, not bad just… not human. 

“You’re still so tense… let me take care of you,”

“You don’t need to”

“It’s my purpose. Let me,” he insists and starts running his hands down your body. You protest weakly, but he ignores you… which he isn’t supposed to be able to do. You’re frozen as he trails his large metal hands up your legs, he’s no longer pretending to massage you and just blatantly groping. 

“You feel so soft,” he praises as he pushes your skirt up over your hips. “Let me make you feel good,” again, it’s not a request, you know some Robots are built to facilitate pleasure, and that they’re made with genitals, but would this one? This robot was an assistant. 

But he doesn’t need a cock to make you feel good, in the same way, he doesn’t need a heart to love you. He pushes his fingers inside of you and doesn’t stop hammering away at your cunt until you’re gushing around his hand. 

“Such a good girl, cumming just like I wanted you to… there, now you’re less stressed, didn’t that help?” he’s looking for praise. 

“W-we can’t do that again, I could be fired if I got caught- in the office,” really you feel guilty that you let a robot finger you at work… not that you let him touch you. He pulls back and nods. 

“Understood. Next time I’ll be sure to be somewhere private when I take you,”

[bomber-grl]

New years kiss

Damian Wayne x Gn!reader

Now that the holidays were wrapping up there was just one more around the corner, new years.

You honestly spend such a good time with the Wayne family on Christmas, which is celebrated in the family more as a way to be with one another rather than religious purposes.

That day was spectacular, honestly more so since you got even closer to kissing your boyfriend.

Ok ok sure, it’s a bit weird to not have kissed earlier but you’ve only been dating for a little while, you should really cut yourself some slack.

Your train of thought was wiped away as soon as Damian called your name.

“Huh?” You look up from your seat at school.

“I said if you’d like to spend new years with my family” he said, more than obviously trying to seem nonchalant about it all.

“Ummm sure! I don’t mind” you said in response and Damian just shrugged and walked away once the bell rung.

-

It was so cold in Gotham and although you were initially reluctant at accepting Damian’s offer of having Alfred pick you up, you’re glad as hell you did.

The car soon stopped in front of Wayne manor and Alfred opened the door for you.

The sharp contrast of outside making you really want to just stay inside the car but you really shouldn’t keep Alfred, or Damian for the matter, waiting.

Once you stepped inside and removed your coat and scarf Damian approached you and took you into his arms.

“Your cheeks are cold” he said as he touched your cheek with his hand.

“Yea I guess so” you leaned your head against said hand that was then yanked away.

“Awww how cute” the voice said teasing the both of you

You whipped around and saw Tim.

“when’s the wedding?”

“Ugh shut up Tim” he took you by the hand and walked off into his room while you heard Tim laugh.

Damian quickly plopped down onto his bed and motioned you to lay besides him just as fast.

“What’s got you all worked up?” You asked, half teasing half genuine.

“Nothing” He turned around and had his back to you.

You probably would’ve been a bit upset at his reaction but his more than evident blush on his ears and neck just made you even more curious.

Well for now you’ll leave it, next time tho, you’ll definitely pry.

The next thing you knew you were being called down to dinner that you’d best describe as chaotic.

I mean sure, there was teasing from more than enough people but more than anything everyone was having a good time, yourself included.

Eventually though, the sun set and the sky darkened, the time that everyone had been waiting for finally arrived.

“Finally” cass said in passing as she stretched a bit and got some of the fireworks and passed them out amongst everyone with the help of Grayson.

You and Damian stayed with the group and lit fireworks for the majority of the night but eventually you two broke off from them and chose to sit on the roof.

Of course only after you were told to keep safe and not to do anything risky.

“Here take my hand” Damian offered you a hand at finally climbing to the top of the roof, a mission you successfully accomplished.

“Phew I was honestly kind of worried that while climbing up here things would go south” you said as you let out sigh and sat comfortably.

“Same but I’m glad we just got this view” Damian motioned to the fact you can see a good part of Gotham and it’s lights.

“Yea…” you said as you stared in awe and Damian was doing something else you didn’t quite register.

No! You had to focus, this was the night you were going to have your first kiss with Damian.

“Wow I can’t believe it’s almost 12” he said as he held his phone, finally breaking you out of your train of thought.

“Yea, it’s crazy how long it’s been since we met” you said reminiscing.

“Yea.. remember when -“ you were quickly shut up by Damian’s hand over your mouth, his head was hung low and spoke softly.

With obvious confusion blatant on your face he began to speak louder, “don’t… don’t say anything while we’re at the manor, anything we say can possibly be listened to and… I’d rather not have Tim or anyone else black mail me”.

With him saying this you’d assume he was angry, but it was difficult to take him seriously when there was blush from his ears to his cheeks.

“Pffffttt— haha! Seriously Damian you’re too cute!” You start laughing as you playfully push him.

“No I’m not!” Was what Damian said among other things that were lost to the sound of your laughter.

After you finally calmed down you looked at Damian and took note of his obvious pout.

“Hey” you placed both hands on his cheeks and gently moved his face to mirror that of your own.

“What?” He said trying his best to keep stoic

“What if… we kissed?” Immediately Damian’s eyes widened and his blush returned at full force.

“Like..right now?” He asked, clearly treading carefully with how it came out as a whisper.

“Yes, only if you want to though” you said bashfully but still giving him room to back away if he didn’t want to.

His eyes avoided yours but ultimately his body language told you all you needed to know .

The two of you calmed down and there was nothing but silence.

Then the two of you leaned in, you could sense his body stiffen up and so you moved your hand over to grab his.

His body relaxed into the kiss and interlocked your hands.

The two of you flew apart and looked towards the source once you heard the loud bangs, fireworks decorating the night sky and illuminating Damian’s flushing face in the dark.

You quickly grabbed your phone and it read-

12:00 a.m Jan. 1st

-

“Hey Damiannnnn” you said as you chose to call him on your cell while lazing around.

It as only a few days later and you were talking to Damian once again, at first it was a bit awkward and Shy but baby steps.

“Yknow Damian…” you said trailing off

“What?” He said obviously distracted with something else.

“I can’t believe it’s been a year since I saw you-“

*beep*

….

He hung up…

[rockleeisbaeeee]

Tw: angst.

part 2

——

He was the it boy, all the girls at his feet, Oikawa Tooru.

You were his classmate, not really friends, just acquaintances. Still he liked your stories and on rare occasions he texted you. He probably did that to other girls, there’s nothing special about it, but you would be lying if you said that it didn’t make you feel special. Receiving attention from boys, and a really handsome one at that, was nice.

Your interactions in school were short, just a few words here and there about class, but it was something. You don’t have a crush on him, well not a big one, you know he’s a flirt and he most likely doesn’t have any feelings for you. Still you threw some glances when he wasn’t looking and offered help when he seemed to not understand the topic, not always because that would be obvious, but since you don’t actually like him it’s fine, or so you say.

——

“Hi y/n” Oikawa said sitting down in front of you, he had that typical smirk he always wore. “You need something?” you said not looking up from the book you were reading. “Ok ouch, can’t I just talk to you just because I want to talk to you?” he said clutching his chest as if in “pain”. You finally looked up and sighed, “fine, what do you want to talk about?” you said looking annoyed, but in reality it felt quite nice that he wanted to talk to you, ok bare minimum, but it was something, to you. “Weeeeeell, I was wondering if you wanted to come to my game tonight?” He said now resting his head on his hand with a look you would describe as expectant. You froze for a bit, why would he want you there? You’re not really that close, and he couldn’t possibly like you so what did he want? “Why?” you said without thinking, “well It’s just that I never see you at any parties or having fun in general, so maybe you could come and have fun!” He said with a full blow smile, wow he has a pretty smile. You were even more shocked by that response, how could he know that you don’t go to parties? You don’t know most of the people that go to them so it seems pointless to attend, but how did he notice your absence? Did he look for you? No, that’s impossible, he was probably just assuming. “Well I’m sorry my type of fun isn’t your type of fun” you said now more relaxed, he was about to say something but you cut him off, “but that does seem fun so I”ll go,” he smiled at that, “So see you there at 7?” oh god he looked so cute, “yes, see you there at 7,” with a quick goodbye he left, saying something about preparing for the game. Fuck, you might like him a bit more than you thought.

——

You were standing at the entrance of the gym, wondering if you should actually get in or just go home, what if he asked you just as a formality, but didn’t actually want you here? Does he actually want you here or he just thinks you’re a loner? Your train of thoughts is interrupted by an all to familiar voice, “y/n!!!” Oikawa said running to you, you smiled in a greeting manner, but were shocked to be suddenly pulled into his arms for a hug, he quickly pulled away to look at you, his stupid (cute) smile was back. “I like your dress, it suits you,” he said looking you up and down, you were wearing a yellow sundress with a flower pattern, the way he was looking at you made you feel nice, maybe he actually wanted you here. “Thanks,” you said with a shy smile, “so can I just sit anywhere?” you were now inside the gym, Oikawa look around the stands, “well it would be nice if you seated near the front,” he said now looking at you expectant, wow he did want you here, “nice, I’ll be going so you can get back to your team,” you said looking back at him, “I would insist for you to stay here, but the game’s about to start so I should go” he looked a bit sad when he said that, but you probably imagined it, well, you can’t know for sure, this situation is kind of weird if you really think about it, if you looked at it simply it seemed as if he was trying to flirt with you, you didn’t want to see it before, but now it was too obvious to ignore.

You bid each other goodbye and while he returned to his team you went to find a seat. You found one near a group of girls, one had Oikawa’s jersey, probably a fan, they were talking, but you weren’t near enough too hear what they were saying, not that you really cared, he had a lot of fans that went to his games so you were expecting this.

The game started and you had to admit, he was a really good player, he had this focused look that forced you to look at him, he moved flawlessly across the court, he was clearly made for this.

——

With a bang made by the ball the game ended, everyone on your side of the stands cheered, you looked down at the court to look at Oikawa, if you hadn’t done that you would’ve noticed the girl that had his jersey run down to him. You were about to go down too until you saw that girl jump into his arms and kiss him.

You stood dumbfounded, he had a girlfriend, did you imagine everything?, Your eyes burned, sign that if you didn’t go out soon, everyone would see your crying face.

You quickly ran for the exit trying to not be seen, this was so embarrassing. “Y/n!!” Fuck, he saw you. Composing yourself you looked at him, hoping your face didn’t show anything of the turmoil you were feeling inside, “congrats on the win, you seemed busy so I didn’t want to interrupt,” he looked at you with what you could only describe as a guilty look, that little shit, “yeah me and my girlfriend were having problems, but we’re all good now. So-“ you interrupted him, “that’s nice, glad it worked out, my mom is waiting for me at home so I have to go, bye” you didn’t let him say anything back and just left.

As soon as you were out of the gym you started running, you didn’t know where, you just had to get out of there.

——

After a while you stopped, you looked around and didn’t recognize your surroundings, but that didn’t matter, everything that just happened came down crashing on you, so you started crying, it soon turned into full blown sobs. Now you got it, he was just using you as a second option in case the things with his girlfriend didn’t work out, you felt so stupid. Just when you finally thought someone would actually choose you it turns out you were just an unused replacement. Second best. It hurt, really bad. So you kept sobbing in an unknown place.

——

I made this cause I wanted to rant about the situation I’m in, I dramatized it for plot purposes, but the feeling is the same. It’s the first fic I’ve ever made so it probably isn’t that good, but I enjoyed writing it and that’s what matters :)

[youatemylollipop]

I saw that you write for mha. Can you write first time (nsfw) touya x reader? Thx 🥰

Synopsis: You're tired of being the only one lacking experience in the s*x department, so when Touya suddenly suggests that you accompany him to a party, you decide to take him up on the offer. Who would have thought that this would lead to a steamy session with your childhood friend in his car?

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Characters: Touya Todoroki X Female Reader

WARNING: Childhood friends to lovers, college and no quirks au. First time, loss of virginity, kinda(?) soft dom! Touya, he's an asshole but has low-key a soft spot for the reader, explicit sexual content, oral sex (m.receiving), dirty talk, Touya calls reader slut a couple of times, MDNI!!

Word Count: 10.5K

“What’s the farthest you've gone with a girl?” You suddenly ask, tilting your head curiously as you turn to face him as he drives the car. 

Touya raises an eyebrow as he glances at you. He's quiet for a few moments before responding in a more casual tone. 

"As in, how many girls have I dated or...? Are you asking if I've... You know... Done the naughty?" 

“Yes,” you confirm blatantly. “I meant the naughty.” 

Touya sighs and looks ahead again, a slight blush on his cheeks. “How’d I know that’s where you were going to go with that question…”

His tone is teasing but there’s a hint of irritation there. He slows down slightly and pulls over to the side of the road, putting the car in park before giving you a look from the corner of his eye. 

“And why do you even care?”

“So…?” You trailed off, ignoring his question as you eye him with a scrutinizing gaze, waiting for him to say openly that yes, he’s had sex.

Touya groans and rubs his eyes, already feeling this conversation becoming annoying. Though that’s probably more because of who it’s coming from and less because of the actual subject matter. 

“Yes, alright…”

He finally caves. You’re like a child that’s curious and has a lot of questions about things they maybe shouldn’t be so curious about. Maybe it’s your own childishness rubbing off on him.

“Yes. I have.”

“So you’ve done the deed?” You continue to ask, just to make sure—and maybe just to annoy him. 

“You’ve gone all the way? Like actually putting your sword in someone else’s cave?” The way you’re describing it makes him roll his eyes and look away, the blush on his cheeks deepening just a bit. 

“Goddamnit… Yes. I have.” Now he just looks amused by the ridiculous way in which you’re asking this question.

“Ok.” Was all you said, before turning your attention back to the window.

He raises an eyebrow at that. Something’s bugging him slightly. Why is there suddenly so much interest in this? He doesn’t mind talking about his sex life, especially since it’s you he’s talking to. Though you’re kind of… weird about it. 

“Why do you even care so much?”

“Because I’ve never done it,” you admit, turning to look out the window, sounding very much like a sulking brat. “I’ve never done anything like that with a guy.”

Touya turns his head to look at you, an eyebrow raised. He had a small hunch that was what you were gonna say though it still took him by surprise. When he speaks, his voice is calm but a bit teasing. 

“Sounds like somebody’s salty that they haven’t done it yet.”

You huff, pouting at his attitude. “Yes I’m salty! Who’s gonna be willing to date a 19 year old college student that’s got zero experience? I haven’t even had my first kiss yet,” you complain with the same bratty attitude. 

“Show me some sympathy, asshole.”

Even though he’s clearly trying not to, Touya snickers. He can’t seem to help the slight smirk that has formed on his lips. You’re so cute when you’re being a pouty brat like this. 

“You say that as if it’s the end of your existence, or as if it’ll never happen. You are being overdramatic, you know that right?”

“I hope that I’ll meet someone at the party tonight,” you continue, ignoring him. “You’re friends are going to be there, right? Do you think I can kiss one of them?”

That gets the reaction he was hoping for. Touya turns to you, giving you a raised eyebrow as his lips curl into a smirk. “Oh? You want to kiss one of my friends?” 

He’s quiet for another moment before smirking a bit and speaking again. “What about me? Maybe you could kiss me instead?”

“You’re not being funny,” you roll your eyes, not taking him seriously. “I just want to get it over with, I hope that at least one of them is hot enough.”

Touya lets out a small laugh at that as he looks away from you, the smirk on his lips growing into a small grin. Damn, you’re being a brat but for some reason it’s kind of hot. 

“Oh come on, surely I’m hot enough. You should kiss me instead.”

You were about to retort until something clicked in your mind. “Wait, are you for real?”

Touya raises his eyebrow a bit, his grin widening as he notices the shift in your attitude from petulant brat to actually thinking about it. He shrugs as his lips turn into a smirk, looking back at you for a brief moment before looking back at the road again.

"Sure, I'm for real. Why shouldn't I be?"

“Won’t it be, I don’t know—weird?” You ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“What do you mean by ‘weird’? I mean we’ve known each other since we were kids. What’s weird about us kissing?” He keeps smirking and speaks playfully, not seeming to take the concept too seriously. Of course he is, but he’s not making it too obvious. 

You eye him skeptically for a brief moment before deciding to let it go. “Alright, if you say so.”

He can’t help the satisfied grin that comes across his lips. It was probably a bit easier than expected to convince you. After all, the two of you have been so close since you were kids.

“You gonna kiss me or what?”

You let out a half amused snort before unbuckling your seatbelt and crawling over to him so that you were now seated on his lap, with your legs spread out on either side of his hips. There is a mix of excitement and nervousness in your actions as you lick your lips, wrapping your arms loosely around his neck. 

“So, am I just supposed to lean in?” You ask.

Touya just lets out a small hum as he takes his seat belt off as well, watching as you crawl over to him and sit on his lap. For a moment, he says nothing, a smirk still on his lips as he gazes at you. Finally, he speaks with a more confident and teasing tone. 

“Yeah. Just lean in… Make sure to aim for my lips, though. Don’t miss.” 

You roll your eyes at his so called ‘instructions’, but do as he says anyways. The action is slow and once you get extremely close to his face you hesitate for a moment. 

“Tell me if I do something wrong,” you mumble out before finally going in for the kill, closing your eyes as your lips finally touch. 

As soon as he sees the motion coming, he meets you in the middle, closing his eyes as your lips finally brush against each other’s as well. For a moment all Touya can do is sigh softly, your scent filling his nostrils, his fingers tightening around your waist as his face heats up. 

Finally he speaks again. His voice is slightly breathless. “That’s not bad, but go again…with a bit more passion this time.”

You adjust yourself on his lap to sit more comfortably before speaking. “Uhm, can you show me how?”

Touya snickers at that. You really haven’t done this before, have you? He thinks to himself amusedly. 

“Sure… I’ll show you…”

Finally his hands start to move, slowly wrapping around you before one hand reaches the back of your head. Leaning forward slightly, as his other hand presses you down a bit more, he leans in and takes control of the kiss. 

It turns into a deeper kiss, as his hands work on your body. The movements of his mouth against yours are more precise now, his tongue beginning to explore the depths of your mouth with confidence.

His grip becomes slightly tighter, his hands digging slightly into you as his arms almost seem to constrict you from the back. His lips are demanding, moving against yours with pressure. He pulls you in ever so slightly and then lets you go, repeating the same motion over and over again, trying to show you how to kiss and how to get into it.

You pull away after a while, feeling slightly breathless as you try to calm yourself from that kiss. “Whoa.”

Touya lets you go as he lets out a soft chuckle. He lets his hands stay where they are, still wrapped around your waist as he looks at you with a grin. After a bit he speaks up again, speaking casually as he leans back in the seat. 

“Not bad… But here.” 

His body moves again, this time more slowly, as he brings you back in as he presses you against his lips again. He moves his hands to grab the nape of your neck, pulling you forward and making the kiss even deeper than before. The ravenette holds you there for another moment before finally letting you go again, speaking with a confident tone. 

“There,” a hand runs through your hair as he leans back in the seat a bit. Touya looks at you with a soft smirk on his lips. 

“See? Like that,” he speaks before adding teasingly. “Are you sure you haven’t kissed before?”

Your cheeks are flushed as you pant softly, trying to regain some form of composure. “That was—“ you gulp, letting out a shaky breath. “Awesome.”

Touya chuckles at your reaction, the soft smirk still on his lips. His body relaxes a bit as he leans back in the seat again. The way you react and your inexperience is almost adorable. But it’s also a lot of fun. 

“I can show you more than just how to kiss if you want…” He says, teasing you a little.

“Really?” You breathe out as your panting slowly calms down. 

“I can feel you, down there.” You mutter softly, gesturing towards his obvious bulge.

Touya lets out a quiet chuckle in response. He moves one hand slowly to your rear, letting it rest on your backside. With the other hand he plays with a lock of your hair before speaking in a teasing, raspy voice.

“Oh… You can feel that, can you?”

“Yeah…” You mumble with a mix of shyness and eagerness. “Can I see it?”

Touya laughs as he feels his body heating up once again. He keeps his hand on your rear and shifts his body closer so that you’re basically straddling him. Your thighs are pressed right up against his waist and his other hand reaches up to the side of your face.

“Are you sure you want to see it?”

“Please…?” You add, lips jutting out as you do so.

Touya lets out a soft sigh, his breath hitched a bit. Your bratty pout is both annoying and cute at the same time. “Such an impatient brat…” 

His tone is still teasing but he finally lets out a small sigh. With his hand still on the side of your face, his other hand reaches down to unbuckle his belt, undoing it slowly. All you can hear is the subtle sound of a zipper being undone and pants unzipped as his hand disappears from your side. He lets out a brief grumble before speaking again, his tone still being teasing. 

“So, you really want to see it, huh…” 

Still not taking his hand away, he gently pushes your head down. There may be no mistaking it as he gently pushes you even closer, your face only a few inches away from what was earlier tucked into his jeans and now out in the open.

Touya looks down at you from above, that snarky smirk remaining on his face as he watches you from this angle. There’s no denying the fact that you’re adorable when you look up at him like that. He’s only half joking when he calls you a little brat… And yet something about the way you act and the things you say makes him want to have you all to himself. It’s something he’d never admit out loud however.

He waits for a response, but there’s none yet. The corner of his lips starts to twitch as a smirk forms, knowing full well why you’re staying quiet. Finally your gaze moves lower, and your lips part as you stare. Touya keeps your head in place with a firm grip on your head as your gaze remains glued on that spot. 

You swallow thickly as you gaze at his size with awe. “Can I touch it?”

Touya lets out a breath, he can’t help but feel a little bit amused. Your eyes are so fixed, it’s adorable. Finally he lets your head go once more, giving you the freedom to do whatever you want. 

“Go ahead… I won’t stop you.”

Touya tilts his head up again to look at you from above. He lets out a small chuckle as he finally sees your hands move to the front of his pants. When you touch it, his body reacts with a subtle twitch from the sudden sensation. You can almost feel him shiver in your grip.

Touya looks down at you again, a devious smirk forming on his lips as your hand squeezes his shaft experimentally. He sighs softly and his lips curve up into a sly, suggestive smile. He’s just enjoying the sight of you right now, watching the look of curiosity on your face as you take in his size.

Touya lets his lips curl up into an even wider smug grin as your hand starts to move faster. His hips rock forward ever so slightly with the motion of your hand. Another small gasp comes from his lips and he leans back in the seat with his eyes closed.

“Am I doing this right?” You ask curiously.

With a slight nod, he whispers softly. “Mhm… You just keep doing what you’re doing.” 

Just touching him is driving him insane… It feels so good, he’s enjoying every moment of it. His breathing grows even heavier now as a raspy moan escapes his lips in response to the light brushing of your fingertips. He shifts once again, spreading his legs further to give you more room to work with. 

He lets his gaze fall on you again, watching you take his piece of flesh in your hand like this. His lips curve up into a smirk as he speaks softly for the first time in a while.

“Do you really have no experience?” He asks teasingly. 

You gulp audibly, feeling the heat between your legs grow as you continue your experimental touches. “I wanna taste it.” 

You mumble breathlessly before peering up at him, licking your lips as you feel your mouth watering at the thought. “Can I?”

That takes him by surprise. As soon as you speak up he opens his eyes once more, looking at you and noticing the breathlessness in your voice. The way you gulp and the way your body reacts to his touch tells him everything he needs to know. Though he lets out a soft, smug laugh when you ask that last question. 

“I don’t see why not…” 

He pauses briefly, giving you a teasing grin before adding, ”Just don’t disappoint me.”

He spreads his legs even more. After a moment, when he’s satisfied that there’s plenty of room for you to work with, he simply nods once again, allowing you to do as you please. You’re slow and hesitant in your movements as you bring it closer to your mouth, starting off by licking it experimentally. 

“Mm…” Touya lets out a raspy moan of satisfaction as he notices you’re slowly and timidly moving. He can’t deny that it’s very erotic. But it’s also extremely cute. Your hesitation is almost as cute as your eagerness. He stays silent for a few more seconds, wanting to see how you feel as you give it a little lick. 

Yet another moan escapes his lips again as your tongue rubs over him. You can feel him shiver slightly as he feels the sensation, his body moving in response to your tease. He closes his eyes and leans back the best he can with the little room he has left, his lips curling up into a small smirk. 

“Keep going…” You feel your mouth water as you suddenly swallow as much of the length as you can fit in one go.

You’ve gone too far, and now his reactions are becoming even more intense. His throaty mumbles turn into loud groans as his entire body starts trembling. He shifts once again, pressing his back against the back of the seat as he tries his best to keep quiet. He's struggling to maintain any sort of control over himself, but with every suck you give him, his willpower weakens a little bit.

With a satisfied grunt, he finally finds some degree of control as he lets out another small moan and leans back once again. “God… So good…”

He moves one hand upwards, gripping onto the seat as his other hand shifts to the back of your head. You can hear your name escape his mouth as he lets out another small moan.

And just like that, you feel his hands shift. His one hand grips your head lightly as he gently takes control and moves. The slight change in motion is almost imperceptible but you do notice that he holds his breath for a moment as you lick him. It takes him a few seconds to recover as he lets out a loud moan. He lets go of your head and his fingers bury themselves in your hair as he shifts in his seat. 

You can feel his grip tighten and a small shiver runs through your body as his hand moves your head up and back down again, this time with a bit more force.

“R-right there… Fuck, don’t stop… Mm…” Touya lets out quiet but clearly noticeable groans as your mouth works its magic. You gag slightly as the sudden force makes you choke slightly on his length, which urges you to send him a bratty glare despite low-key enjoying it.

Touya lets out a raspy chuckle at your glare, a smugness in his expression as he looks at you. The pressure he’s applying is steady but gentle enough not to hurt you or make you choke too hard. 

"You're enjoying that, huh..." He lets out a small grunt and a muffled moan as you keep moving your head up and down. His hand keeps a firm grip on your hair, keeping you in place.

Touya keeps this up for a few more moments, his breathing getting heavier as your mouth works up and down repeatedly. He starts to growl softly, trying to hold back a little. This is just as much of a pleasure for him as it is for you. His grip tightens once more as his growls get louder. The grip is still not rough but firm enough to make sure you don’t slip up while working on him.

Touya’s body finally gets to that point, making him let out a loud moan as his grip around your head tightens some more. His hand on the side of your face moves up to the back, making sure you stay in position as he pushes you further and further. His eyes are closed as he relaxes a bit more against his seat.

Touya lets out another breath as he finally speaks with a raspy voice. “Keep going… Don’t stop… Fuck don’t stop…”

He lets out a raspy moan as your mouth continues to work on him as he tilts his head back a bit. His fingers dig into your hair as he pushes you back down, not letting your head move away from him. The grip on your head becomes tighter and more demanding as he holds you down.

“You really are good at this…” His hands grip your head tightly, letting you feel just how much he’s enjoying this as he lets out a few more sounds. He tries his best to be as quiet as possible since you’re in a parking lot, but it’s becoming harder and harder to not get too loud. As his grip on your head tightens even more, his moans become increasingly louder. He feels like he’s losing himself…

You pull away, taking a shuddering breath as you look up at him with glassy eyes and shiny lips, panting lightly. “Tou-chan, I want you.” 

Touya’s eyes flutter open for a moment as he feels you stop with the sudden movement. Seeing the effects of your ‘experiments’ on you is quite exciting for him as his breath hitches and his heart rate picks up drastically. The grip on your head tightens again as he sees you squirm slightly.

Touya grunts in affirmation as his voice remains raspy, a smugness written all over his face. “I want you too, you little pervert.”

“Sorry…” You pant before a small cheeky grin grazes your features as you had completely forgotten about your previous unsureness. “You just taste so good.”

Touya chuckles softly at your comment, he can’t help it. You’ve clearly changed your mindset after that little ‘testing’ and now you’re a lot more eager. He tilts his head up again, taking in the view of your glassy eyes as you pant faintly, your lips shiny with saliva. The grip on your head remains firm this time though, not moving even slightly as he keeps his gaze on yours.

“You really think so?”

“Yeah,” you pant out, gulping audibly as you nod shakily.

Touya grunts softly as he sees you nod. His gaze shifts down in between your closed thighs for a minute, your wetness clearly evident on your skirt as he shifts in his seat again. The ravenette finally looks up at your face, that smugness back on his lips as he speaks again.

"How much do you want me…? Don't hold back..."

“So much that I want you to be my first,” you suddenly blurt out in the heat of the moment.

“I’ve liked you for years,” you admitted with a small, flushed smile. “It doesn’t matter if we go back to being just friends afterwards, but I really want you to be my first.”

That takes Touya off-guard for a moment, his body momentarily freezing in place from your words. You don't know how long he's waited to hear those words from you. Eventually he exhales and sighs softly with a soft grin. Touya looks down at you again, that smug look never leaving his features. 

"You want me that badly, huh..." He moves closer to you once again, his lips literally within an inch from your own.

“More than anything,” you mumble softly.

Touya smiles at that, that smugness still on his face, but it's mixed with a soft look, showing his adoration for you. The ravenette grins at your words, you sound so cute when you get all steamy like this. It’s something he has been fantasizing about for a while, and it looks like you’ve finally come around.

Touya leans forward the rest of the way and presses his lips fully against yours, the force behind it a bit more this time, as his hand moves to your rear again, giving your buttocks a small squeeze. His other hand grips your neck tighter, keeping you in place as it moves to your hair. Touya leans into it, and this time, he doesn't let you break away. His lips start to move against yours once more.

“I love you,” you mumble breathlessly between hot and steamy kisses.

Touya freezes up for a time as you let out those words. His lips part from yours as he looks down at you. He blinks a bit and slowly takes in what you just said. It makes his heart skip a beat.

After a few seconds, he lets out a small chuckle though it sounds more like a breathless gasp. His grip around you tightens once more as his reply comes out in a raspy, but soft voice.

“I love you too… I love you so much…”

“Please take me,” you speak sweetly with a small pout.

The way you say those words makes your cheeks go red immediately. You can pretty much see the effect these words had on him. You finally confessed to him. You admitted your feelings and told him you want this as much as he does. Touya is speechless, he didn't expect this to end that way, but it definitely did in the best way possible.

He reaches up to your cheek with one hand, rubbing gently over it as he looks down at you with a flirtatious smirk. “Heh… Is that a request or a demand?” 

Touya smirks at your pout, his thumb rubbing on your cheek as he looks at you. You can tell from his tone, he’s enjoying himself. Your response makes him want to tease you even more now.

“I want you inside of me,” you mumble impatiently, your lips jutting out even more.

That’s what he wanted to hear…

He lets out a breath, this is the kind of dirty talk he’s always enjoyed. The way you describe your own needs is hot and definitely makes him desire you more. He lets out a quiet laugh before he responds, the way he spoke was not the same as it used to be before your confession.

“Is that so, now…” Touya’s grip on your rear tightens slightly as he rubs gently on your ass.

With a small smirk, he immediately pulls you towards him, causing your bodies to press tightly against one another as his lips finally make contact with yours. He begins to slowly move his tongue into your mouth. Your kiss slowly grows more intense as he moves his tongue around, exploring your mouth as he holds you close to him.

The sudden switch from your hesitant behavior to this… It’s pretty surprising. With a soft laugh, he pulls away again, his lips curling into a playful grin. 

“That's what you’re asking me for, huh?” He lets out another chuckle as he leans his head close to your shoulder, whispering softly directly into your ear.

You pout slightly, “Quit teasing me.”

“You want me to quit teasing you?” He leans back so that he can look at you again once more as he tilts his head up while speaking with a smug tone.

“Is this adorable brat asking me to stop?” Touya’s grip on you remains tight as he stares at you for a moment. The look on his face says just how much he enjoys playing with you.

“Stop being so mean,” you whine, looking at him with puppy eyes. “Pretty please with a cherry on top.”

“Awww…~” Touya lets out a quiet chuckle as you beg him with those puppy eyes and that whiny tone. Touya can’t resist that look. He finds it so damn adorable. You’re so easy for him to tease.

He keeps his grip on your body tight as he moves his face even closer to yours. You can feel his breath brushing against your neck as he leans against you and whispers his next words.

“That’s not how you beg, you brat…”

“Will you please fuck me?” You beg with wide glassy eyes, batting your lashes to appear cuter. “I need to feel you inside me—to feel that big fat cock rearrange my insides to the point nobody else could ever please me as much as you could.”

Those words coming out of your mouth, and that soft, desperate tone… It drives the ravenette crazy. A loud moan escapes him as he hears you say those words. His grip on your body tightens even more as he lets you go for a moment, to catch his breath. 

Your words are such a turn-on for him. The way you just spoke right now is one he’d only hear in porn, you speak with such filthy language. He swallows thickly as he takes in the effect of your dirty talk. It's so blunt and crude, but so damn hot. That playful begging and your soft, vulnerable tone, it’s quite the combination as he stares at you with a smug smile on his face.

Touya's smile grows wider, almost to the point of being teasingly malicious as he stares you right in the eyes. Your body is so soft, so vulnerable and that tone just makes him want to take you right here and now. His grip around your waist tightens once more as he speaks again, this time with a sinister grin. 

“That’s exactly what I wanted to hear, you naughty little slut…”

“Just be gentle,” you whisper breathlessly.

The way he was talking with you—in such a degrading manner at that—was making you feel extremely hot. Yet you couldn’t help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness as you realized that you’re actually about to lose your virginity to your childhood friend/crush.

Your mix of emotions is one that makes him want to take you even harder, to show you how much he wants you. To show you how much he’s desired this for years. 

The ravenette lets out an amused laugh as he hears you ask him to go slowly for you, to be gentle. Oh, that’s rich… But he doesn’t voice his thoughts just yet as he leans up against you again, his eyes staring right into yours as he slowly speaks with a teasing tone.

“Who’s saying you deserve that?”

You pout, tilting your head slightly to the side to make yourself even cuter and more fragile. “Pretty please…?” 

There was a childish lilt in your voice as your lips jutted out even more. “Didn’t you say that you love me too?”

You're doing this on purpose… You have to, there’s no way you’re not. The playful pout and the way you tilt your head to the side, there is no way it’s not on purpose. The way you ask for him to go slow with such a soft tone and the sudden mention of his confession… You’re making him soften up on purpose. You want a nice, soft gesture from him? You’re trying to make that happen. 

Touya sighs softly, knowing full well he’ll cave under the pressure. His lips curl into a teasing smile as his gaze narrows at you. “Am I supposed to say yes to that just because I love you?”

He continues to look at you as he lets out a breath, not yet revealing what his answer will be. Does he intend to go easy or will he just pound you and tear you apart? That's for you to wait for. But you can tell by the grin on his face that you've already gotten through to him. Despite the knowledge, you still nodded affirmatively while flashing him a sickeningly sweet smile to get your way. 

“Very well, you naughty little brat... I’ll go slow for you, since you asked me so nicely…” His reply comes out in a soft tone, with a smirk. He relaxes his shoulders as he stares at you with a smug look, but the moment has finally gotten to him. The way you have to ask him to be gentle makes it feel like you trust him after all.

He runs his tongue on your cheeks once more as he finally leans up against you, taking his time doing this. His tongue slowly makes its way down your neck, causing you to shiver and squirm as he continues licking and kissing your skin. The effect this had on you is quite visible as you breathe heavier and moan quietly.

Touya lets out a soft laugh as he hears you whimper and moan. The way you squirm as his tongue and lips move down your skin...is so damn hot. He slowly reaches his hand on your thigh now, getting even closer to your soft, juicy center.

Touya’s hand moves up to your thigh as it rests close to your wetness. As his tongue and mouth continues to move down your skin, he presses lightly against your thigh for a bit before moving even closer, using his thumb to trace circles around your wetness. The tease makes your whole body move, your mouth opening silently as you start to moan quietly.

“So wet already?” He asks you with a quiet laugh and a teasing smirk.

“I’m just horny,” you complain in a whining tone. “And whose fault is that?”

“My fault? Is that so now?” Touya laughs out, finding this to be both amusing and a bit arousing at the same time. His hand continues to play with your wetness as he traces circles around your thigh and inner thighs, his thumb brushing against your clothed clit briefly before moving upwards again.

“Just one more thing…” Touya smirks as leans in closer, his breath still hot and damp on your neck. His lips once again brush against your ear as he whispers softly once more. 

“Keep your eyes closed when it happens…”

“Okay…” You breathe out, complying to his wishes.

Touya leans back once again, his hands loosening around your waist. He adjusts himself in his seat a little bit before beginning to move his hand back up your thighs, moving over your dress and slowly starting to unbutton it. 

Eventually, after slowly unbuttoning your dress, he reaches the bottom of it. His fingers wrap around the side of your hip as he shifts once again and pulls you closer to him. His other hand slowly makes its way up your thigh as he grabs onto your waist. 

He starts to slowly lift your dress up, pulling it over your thighs and leaving it all bunched up in his hands. His cerulean blue eyes flick down at the sight of you under the dress, slowly revealing it all to him. He finally lays his eyes upon what he’s been waiting for. Your pale, slender thighs and soft smooth skin… The small mound of your womanhood. His eyes practically glowing as they wander to the lace fabric of your panties and back up to your face once again. 

The ravenette’s hand moves over the lace of your panties, gently rubbing at them with his fingers as he watches your cute, flushed face. He’s seen this many times before now, but never has it been this tantalizing… 

“I want to see you,” you mumble softly with a tiny pout, but still keep your eyes closed as he had told you. “Please, let me see you.”

“Hmm… You want to see me, huh?” He chuckles softly as he hears your request. He keeps rubbing his hand over your underwear again, slowly rubbing through your silky skin as he whispers softly once more. 

“But for now, keep your eyes shut… I’ll let you see me soon enough…” You let out a whine, but comply nonetheless.

Touya chuckles softly, his eyes wandering down to your body as his hands continue to slowly rub at your underwear with his fingers. He wants you to focus solely on the feeling of his fingers slowly going through your lace underwear… The slow and steady movement of his fingers as it rubs against your skin. Slowly giving your sensitive parts the heat and attention they crave. 

“So sensitive…” Touya growls as his fingers continue to explore through the thin fabric of your panties. When he notices just how sensitive you are, he begins to apply a bit more pressure as he rubs his fingers over you. 

He keeps this up for a little longer, pressing his fingers against that one spot, the pressure gradually increasing as time goes on. Soon, he can feel the slightest trace of your juices beginning to flow as your breathing becomes a little heavy.

“Mm… Looks like someone’s definitely enjoying this.” Touya chuckles in amusement as his fingers continue to rub at your sensitive spot. He can’t help but bite his lip as he hears your breaths pick up. The sight of you getting wet and excited from his touch is more than enough to get his blood flowing. 

He moves his hands away with a small smirk, his tongue briefly flicking out to lick his lips as he watches you. You let out yet another whine at the loss of contact. Touya laughs once again as your whine grabs his attention. 

“So, you really want more, huh?” Touya's deep voice echoes inside the car as he finally breaks his silence as he leans back towards your neck, taking another glance at the sensitive spot he just made so damp. “I’ll give you more then… Just let me do something first…”

After taking a glance at your damp spot again, he finally decides on giving his fingers a break for now. He slides his hands back down your thighs as he looks back at you once again, noticing that your eyelids are twitching. 

“Tou-chan,” you breathe out in a whining tone. With a raspy laugh, he leans in next to your ear again. His breath is still hot and damp against your skin as the tip of his tongue flickers out once more. 

“Yes?” He murmurs as his cerulean gaze narrows towards you once more, a little grin on his lips as he leans close to you again. This time his voice is even lower and more husky than before. His tongue flickers out one last time to brush against your cheek as it trails down to your neck again, where he begins to nibble on it.

“Just take them off,” you squirm in his grasp, opening your eyes despite not being allowed to do so yet. “I feel so empty.”

“You shouldn’t have opened them… You know that, right?” Touya’s voice is deeper, a bit more sinister but you can still hear the teasing tone. He speaks calmly but firmly, despite you now going against his wishes. You might be in trouble. 

“So you want me to just rip them off and take you right now~?” Touya’s voice has become much more rough. The way he looks at you, you know that all he wants to do is to just break you, to tear you apart and break every single self-control you have to make you beg and whimper for him to stop.

But he knows that you’re too inexperienced for that yet. 

“Opening your eyes like that without me letting you… This is going to have consequences, you know, little brat…”

Touya adds with a teasing smirk, but he’s immediately heeding your words and moves to take your panties off. He slides them lower and lower before taking them away completely. His hands move to the side as he takes a look at you, your face becoming flustered when he takes a look at your beautiful body. Once they’re finally out of the way, your soft folds become visible to his eyes. 

“So...this is what you meant by empty, huh?” Touya’s deep voice echoes inside the car as he gets a look at your body once again. His breath is still hot and damp as his gaze flicks to your folds. “Pretty sensitive aren’t we...? Hm?”

Touya’s fingers move in closer slowly as he traces circles around your slickness once more, this time putting more pressure than before as he begins to rub and play with you.

You tug on his shirt impatiently as you demand, “Take it off.”

“A very impatient little brat you are, huh…” Touya chuckles softly, taking note of the way you tug at his shirt, his teasing and flirty mood changing a bit as his eyes narrow against you.

He doesn’t speak much as he reaches up and pulls it over his head. The moment his bare chest is visible your body seems to be heating up. The air is thick with heat and desire as he finally lets out a breath. 

Your fingers trace his toned chest as you shamelessly ogle him. “You’re so pretty,” you mumble out breathlessly.

Touya gives you a playful smack against the side of your neck as he glances down at you, his tone and expression changing a bit as your hands trace his toned chest. His eyes widening as you compliment him, cheeks becoming a bit red as he glances at you.

“Pretty, am I? You think I’m pretty?” It’s clear that you’ve hit his weak spot as he tries his best to hide his blush.

“Like a piece of poetry,” you breathe out softly.

“Shut it…” Touya’s reply comes out as a playful tone as he gives you another light smack this time across your cheek, but the moment you compliment him his attitude changes a bit.

Touya lets out a breath as he glances elsewhere, not knowing what to say in response to that. You can tell that you caught him off guard with your words of appreciation. He wasn’t used to being complimented like that by anyone, certainly not by the person he had been crushing on since childhood. His cheeks remain a bit red for a reason. 

You position yourself over his bare shaft, gripping his shoulders tightly. “I’m on birth control so…” You trail off, waiting for him to help you.

“So that means…” Touya’s voice trails into a soft and teasing moan as he hears you say those last words. His voice becomes lower and even more husky as he grabs on to your hips, his cerulean eyes once again glance up at your body. His hand moves to your hip as he stares up at you, pupils dilated as he watches you move over his shaft.

“So you want this to be raw…?” Touya’s voice becomes somewhat teasing once again as he looks at you, giving you a playful smirk as he looks between your legs.

He doesn't speak another word as he leans in and bites your shoulder gently before letting out a breath. His hips grind against yours briefly as he gets more riled up with each passing minute.

You swallow thickly, getting equally nervous and excited. “So, am I just supposed to slide down or…?” You ask hesitantly, unsure on how to continue.

“It’s pretty self explanatory, don’t you think?” His voice grows deeper and more hoarse. The ravenette’s hands move to your thighs as he grips onto them, his eyes glancing straight ahead as he moves back against the vehicle’s fabric seats. His mouth moves up to your neck again as he plays with your body even more. His legs shift slightly as he moves himself into a better position. 

That’s your cue to move up to him once more. He’s done pretty much everything to set the scene for you. His hands slowly grip your body as he shifts your hips so it’s easier to enter. He wraps his arms around you and kisses you tenderly on the mouth. 

“Now you know…” Touya smirks against your mouth as he pushes himself against you, causing his tip to graze your folds. His breath is hot and wet as he moves his hips against you again. He moves further back against the car seat before pressing himself against you again, his body making contact with your slickness but not fully inside of you yet.

The sensation of his tip touching your folds makes your body tense. You take a shuddering breath as you let him guide you, the grip on Touya’s shoulders tightening significantly from the intrusion. Biting your bottom lip softly as you did your best to relax your body in order to make the experience less painful and more pleasant.

"S’tight, doll." Touya lets out a rough moan as you tense up, cursing under his breath and keeping his hips still to help you cope with the pain. It takes him a bit longer to notice that you're gripping his shoulders, but as he does he just chuckles gently as he kisses your neck once again.

He begins to slowly move himself against you again, rubbing his tip against your folds as he begins to move deeper slowly.

“W-wait a bit,” you mumble shakely, making Touya stop his movements immediately as soon as you tell him to. The ravenette lets out a small grunt as you halt him for a bit, gritting his teeth as he holds himself still, his grip tight but steady around you. 

“Mm? What’s wrong, doll?” He whispers softly in your ear as he tries to assure you and keep you calm.

“S-sorry…” You flush in embarrassment, tensing your body and trying your best to relax as he tries to inch himself in deeper. Legs shaking and trembling a little as you keep them wide open.. “It’s just hard to relax.”

“Hm… So you’re tense, are you?” Touya chuckles as he speaks in a teasing and flirty tone, though he’s still being cautious and slow as he doesn’t want to hurt you in any way. He wants your first experience with him to be a pleasant one, but that seems to be somewhat difficult at this moment. 

He leans his head on top of yours and whispers softly to you once again. “Relax for me, doll… Just focus on breathing…” Touya’s whisper comes out in a soothing and tender tone. You take a deep breath before slowly sliding further down. 

“There we go… Good girl…” Touya’s voice changes into a soft and tender one once again as his hands let go of your thighs and grasp onto both of your hips, helping you ease your way down into him. His cerulean eyes are fixated on you the entire time as you feel him slide inside of you, inch by inch, slowly and gently.

“Mm… There we go…” Touya’s voice mutters out softly as you slowly take his whole length inside of you, his breath catching in his throat as he feels you fully wrapped around him. 

His body is still for a moment, but his breathing begins to quicken as he feels you adjust yourself to his movements. Another shiver travels down his spine as he feels the wetness inside of you, feeling the intensity as he pushes himself deeper. His fingers move down to grip your hips as he slowly starts to move his hips against yours.

Touya’s breathing becomes even faster as he lets your body adjust to his movements, slowly beginning to thrust deep, his hand now gripping your hips firmly as he moves in and out of you slowly and rhythmically. His other hand gently runs through your hair as he moans out softly. 

“Mm… You’re so tight…” He says with a deep and husky voice as he glances down at you.

Touya’s pace begins to speed up slowly as his breathing grows heavier with each passing minute. He leans down towards you, biting your skin as his hips begin to grind against yours, his thrusts becoming faster and faster. His cerulean gaze glares into yours once more as he watches your body and the way he makes you moan every time he thrust harder and deeper.

“Mm…” Touya’s voice is a bit more hoarse as he moves quickly now, his breathing heavy as you feel yourself filled and stretched out even further. His cerulean gaze meets yours again as his fingers grip yours tightly, his thrusts faster and faster now. 

“Such a tight little hole…” He mutters out breathlessly once again.

“Full,” you moan out. “F-feel so f-full…” You let out a gasp, “S-so big..!”

“Mm~ You really feel me, huh…?” Touya chuckles softly as his fingers grip yours tight. He begins to press his thumbs into your wrists as he thrusts deeper into you and pulls you closer to him. His movements are faster now his breath becomes short and shallow. Each of his thrusts becomes harder and harder as his cerulean eyes glaze over as he moves you closer to the edge. His lips curl up into a small smirk as he watches your reactions closely.

You let out a startled gasp at the change in pace, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. “Th-there! Please keep hitting there,” you moan.

“Oh~ You like that spot, don’t you?” He smirks playfully as he hears you tell him to hit that spot. His thrusts grow rougher, more intense, as he hits your G-spot exactly where you need it. He grips your body even tighter as you feel yourself about to reach your climax. A light sweat begins to coat his body as his cerulean eyes grow glazed, all the while you the tip of his shaft touch that one spot inside of you that makes you moan out.

You nodded shakily, unable to pronounce any words as you kept moaning softly into his neck. He could tell just how good you were feeling as your body was literally reacting to his motions. 

“Mm~ You like that, huh…” His voice grumbles as he moves even quicker inside of you, his thrusts growing even faster as he hits all those sensitive spots.

“Such a good girl… All mine…” He whispers softly before biting your neck once again, leaving a small mark.

Touya lets a breath escape from his mouth, his body shaking a bit as he gets even closer to climax. He grips into your hips tighter than ever before as his body grows tense with each passing moment.

“Y-yes! ‘m all yours!” You moan, gripping his shoulders so tightly as if your life depended on it as you tried to meet his thrusts. “P-please don’t stop! You make me feel so good!”

“Oh~ Such a needy girl…” 

Touya’s lips curve up into a smug smirk as he feels you start to move against him, your body moving in the same rhythm as his own, making it much easier for the two of you to climax. He begins to move his hips even quicker, his breath beginning to quicken as he approaches the precipice. With each passing thrust he felt a bit of himself build up inside of you. He lets out a deep grumbling that tells you exactly how close he is.

“S-so good!” You moan out breathlessly, biting your bottom lip softly as you try to keep up with his pace. You pull away from his neck, breathing heavily as you face him. “K-kiss me, please.”

His lips curve up into a playful grin. “Oh… Are you begging me, doll…?~”

You find that his grip has loosened up just a bit as he holds onto you more loosely now. His free arm moves up to stroke your face as he leans back slightly. Touya then stares into your eyes once more as his cerulean gaze meets yours. His lips curl up into a mischievous smirk once more.

He lets out a breath as he locks his lips on yours, tasting you as his other hand strokes your cheek gently. His caresses move down to your neck once again, rubbing the spot he marked before softly as you continue to make out. The ravenette moves his hips against yours as he’s continuously hitting your G-spot. He bites your lower lip once more as his tongue gently explores your mouth.

The ravenette then lets out a breath as he parts his lips from yours, his breath quickening as he stares at you once again. “God… You’re such a needy little slut… Your tightness is sending me over the edge…” He grips your hips as he thrusts deeper and hits your spot once more, his body twitching as he approaches climax. 

“So c-close-“ you sobbed, tears trailing down your flushed cheeks from the overstimulation, clawing at his back uncontrollably. “N-need to cum…!” 

“A needy girl like you, so quick and so desperate…” His voice is a soft whisper as he begins to thrust even harder now. His cerulean eyes glaze over as he smirks and bites your bottom lip as you clawed at his back. His body twitches and quivers slightly as he feels you getting into a frenzy.

His hand strokes your cheek slowly as he feels your body tense up even more. He lets out a rough groan as your nails start to dig deeper into his shoulders as you claw at his skin. “C’mon, sweetheart…c’mon… Just a bit more…”

A soft shudder runs down his spine as his hips thrust into you deeply. He feels you tightening around his shaft, indicating that you are approaching your climax. “Fuck, almost there… Just a little bit more…”

“Feeling it?” He whispers softly, his arms wrap around your body tightly as he grips the back of your neck and pulls you back into another kiss. All you can do is moan into his mouth as he keeps hitting that one spot. 

He breaks the kiss again after a little bit, breathing heavily as he looks at you once again. He sees your body react to his movements and how your body trembles and quivers with each moment. His grip tightens around you as he whispers softly, 

“Ready?” He rasps out as he keeps hitting the spot consistently, not bothering to change up his routine or increase the pace even. He waits for your answer, still not moving his hips faster despite how much you’re clearly enjoying it. 

“F-for what…?” You ask confusedly.

He can’t help but grin slightly as he sees how confused you are. How clueless and lost into the moment of pleasure you are. His eyes shift to your mouth briefly as he asks you softly: 

“To finish…” He says it just vague enough that it can be taken as anything but he keeps slowly moving and hitting that exact spot as he waits for you to understand what he means. Your mouth forms into an ‘oh’ shape in realization as you let out a moan. He lets out an amused laugh as you moan and realize what he meant.

”Yes!” You moan out. “So close, Tou-chan! Please don’t stop!”

His body tenses even more and he groans as he feels your grip tighten around his shoulders. He kisses your neck even more as he moves with both of your movements, slowly taking you back and forth between his own pace and your own rhythm. He whispers softly as his body continues to grow hotter with your sounds.

“You feel so fucking good…” His voice is still calm but he’s growing more and more breathless with each minute and moment you keep pressing against him and moving against him. He can feel himself getting close.

Touya lets out a raspy groan as he continues to kiss your neck and keeps up with your movements. He picks up the pace even faster as it feels like you’re reaching your peak. His grip becomes tighter as he continues to drive himself into you. 

“A-almost—fuck… Keep it up…”

He closes his eyes for a few seconds, taking deep breaths as he tries to gain control over just how much his body is reacting. After a bit, he opens his eyes again and presses his body into you. His breath has gone back to being steadier and slower, but he still holds you firmly and keeps moving slowly, but firmly. He kisses your neck again as he whispers softly to you. 

“How you feelin’…?”

“Like I’m about to burst…” You gasp out.

He moans roughly as he watches you writhe and squirm under his grip. He sighs softly as he speeds up slightly, your response and movements make him want to speed up even more, but he ignores the urge of letting himself go all out.

“Don’t let go just yet…” He rasps out, his voice already beginning to become breathy as he moves more and more into you, his grip keeping you firmly in his hold as his movements become faster. “Hold it in for a bit longer.”

He can feel you tensing and quivering under his grip as he feels your body starting to twitch more and more. His grip around your waist is still firm and his body heat grows with each moment as he speeds up again. He keeps his pace for just a little bit longer before he grips your waist tighter with his one arm while he lets go of your back with his free hand. He leans forwards and meets your mouth once again, taking control of the kiss with his tongue.

His body relaxes a little bit while he’s kissing you as his body heat grows hotter and hotter. His grip is tight around you as he keeps pushing and pushing you even more. He can feel your body starting to tense and quiver even more as you grip his back and waist tightly. He can see how much you’re struggling to hold it in, and just when it looks like you’re reaching your peak, he pulls back slightly and whispers into your ear, his breath coming out quick and sharp.

Touya’s voice sounds breathless and breathy when he whispers to you, he feels the tip of his tongue slowly rubbing your ear as it teases you, his grip on your waist and back becoming even tighter as he keeps pushing into you more.

“Almost…” Touya breathes out sharply, pulling his waist away from you slightly. The ravenette breaks the kiss and licks your ear one more time before pulling back even further. His cerulean blue eyes watch you squirm even more as your body tests your limits. He sees your twitching, quivering and tense body as he grips the front of your thighs and squeezes them as he whispers softly to you. 

You moan out loudly as you finally reach your peak. Your body explodes in pleasure as pleasure spreads throughout it, flooding your senses as you twitch strongly and your body quivers more. Your tight grip on his body finally lets go as you squirm underneath his grip. 

“T-Tou-chan!” It’s more of a cry then it is a moan of pleasure. He pushes deeper into you, finally reaching his climax as he grunts softly. 

“Goddamn…” He lets out a final groan as he relaxes once he finally reaches his own peak. He leans in and kisses you one more time before pulling out, breathing heavily.

The ravenette leans back as he lets a breath escape from his mouth. His cerulean gaze meets yours once more as he glances down at you with a small smirk on his face.

“Did you enjoy that, doll…? Was I too rough with you?” He whispers softly, his hand rubs your thigh gently.

“A bit…” You pant softly, cheeks flushed as you snuggled against him. “But I…liked it.”

“Hm… You liked it…?” He lets out a low, husky chuckle as he leans his body back against the car door, his body tired yet satisfied now. “I guess you like it rough, don’t you…? You little naughty girl…”

You let out a soft, tired giggle at his implication. “Can’t believe I lost my virginity in a car that’s parked near a party with my childhood best friend turned boyfriend.”

“Is it weird to say that I find that a bit hot…?” He whispers softly back to you as he glances at you once more with a sly smirk on his face. 

You let out an amused snort, “You’re such a horndog.”

“And you aren’t…?~” Touya smirked playfully as he teased you again, causing you to bite your bottom lip as you found yourself unable to find a retort. 

“You’re not wrong.” 

The ravenette chuckles softly once more as he glances at you again, his cerulean eyes glancing at you with a more teasing and flirtatious look to them. His hand moves back to stroke across your cheek as he leans back against the car door himself. 

“I’m going to take it that you really enjoyed it…” He says as he teases you some more as he chuckles once more. “You feel tired…?” 

“A bit.” You mumble softly, nuzzling your face against his chest comfortably. “But I don’t wanna sleep naked in your car.”

“Hm…” The ravenette ponders your request for a moment as he looks at you, deciding if he should grant it to you or not. “We can skip the party and…”

He lets a breath escape from his mouth before he gives you a playful smirk. “Just go back to my place. Sounds good?”

“Sounds nice,” you mumbled contentedly. “But next time there’s a party, we have sex only afterwards.”

“Good to know, doll…” Touya smirks in amusement. He then pulls his pants back up and fixes his other clothes before he looks back at you. “Need any help fixing up yours…?”

“Yup,” you nodded, stretching out your hands before grabbing your panties, pulling them on slowly before putting on your bra. 

“Can you help me with the dress?” You ask, tilting your head slightly.

Touya’s lips curved up into a small, playful grin as he watched you put on your own panties and your bra first. “Sure,” he says with a nonchalant shrug. 

He wraps his arms around you from behind as he helps you put your dress on again, helping you with the straps on the back of your dress before helping you zip your dress up again. His lips tilt into an amused smirk as he chuckles a bit. “It looks good on your body, I have to say…”

“I just remembered that you didn’t compliment me when you saw me in it,” you huffed as you heard his comment.

He lets out a deep chuckle as he finally helps with you putting your dress back on completely. After that he pulls his arm back and sighs softly. A teasing smirk still stays plastered on his lips. “I was probably too focused on how much I wanted to take it off of you…”

“But, now that you mention it… It does look good. It compliments you very well,” Touya says with a bit of an aloof tone. His smirk widens even more as he adds to it with, “It really does hug your body… Quite the good sight~”

You let out an amused snort, “Have I ever mentioned that you’re an asshole?” 

Touya lets out a snicker before whispering softly in your ear as he leans forward and nuzzles your neck once more. “And yet here you are, falling for me…” You pout with your usual bratty attitude as he says this with a smug smirk, looking soft and playful as he teases you. He chuckles and nods his head as he turns on the engine.

“Now, let’s get out of here so I can finally fuck you in every position that I’ve imagined, but couldn’t, since we were friends.” 

[prettyboykatsuki]

keep me close to you | i. yoichi

✮ tags ; childhood best friends to lovers / idiots to lovers, reader is implied to have grown up a tomboy, stereotypical shoujo manga tropes rip, reader wears makeup, a lot of sexual tension, kissing, confessions 18+

✮ wc ; 3.6k (i don't know. don't ask me.)

✮ a/n ; the worlds most self-indulgent horseshit in the world. sorry! but im not at all actually. this is the very typical 'i didn't see you that way until i realize i did the whole time.' bc i love that trope and i love isagi ok....

reader in this kind of feels awkward in her femininity and that appears in the fic more than once!! please be forewarned.

✮ synopsis ; isagi has never seen you as much more of a friend. so he thought at least.

Isagi is in love with you.

He isn't sure when that happened. He'd love to be know but in all truth - there was never any big eureka moment that made such a thing apparent. If Isagi had to think of all the moments he maybe, sort-of, possibly loved you, they come up to him as bits of nothing-much memories.

That's exactly the problem, really. A long few years of little nothings, accumulated over time, Isagi finds that his whole life has been made up of you. There was no grand gestures of confessions or singular standout moments for him to mull over.

But there was rough-housing with you back when your hair was a little shorter and your chest a little less noticeable. And there was plenty of bike races to the store for ice-cream, and lots of bonding over music you both liked. Isagi remembers sitting on your floor in the 6th grade and watching you play video games much better than he ever could.

A lot that stuff persisted into your teen years, and even into adulthood. Isagi has never thought of it as weird. Play fighting or bike races or being reckless together felt natural - and in some ways, you were the only person who ever brought that out of him.

It was normal. You were friends and you got along as friends. Isagi never thought about it any more than that.

Just a few months ago, you got a boyfriend. Said boyfriend didn't think your friendship with Isagi was entirely appropriate. He had approached Isagi first. You talked to Isagi after, said you'd still hang out but no more rough-housing and that was that.

Isagi had heard about your boyfriend, though you didn't talk about him much. And after meeting him, it was easy enough to conclude that he was genuinely a good guy. Objectively good for you, accepting of your personality, kind and thoughtful. A good stable job There was nothing bad he could say about him. He wished there was.

"Just the being touchy. I know you two don't think anything of it since you've been friends for so long," He leans in, friendly, as he pats Isagis shoulder "But you wouldn't like if your girlfriend was being touchy with another guy right?"

Isagi had nothing to say. He'd never thought about. Never had a proper girlfriend, though he was interested in a few girls. He'd lost his virginity out of the country and had some hook-ups and talking stages. Never a girlfriend.

Would it bother him? He couldn't say. He didn't know who to think of. There was not a hypothetical girl he could conjure to give him a conclusion. Ultimately dazed, Isagi had replied with something along the lines of "Yeah man, I get it," and then left for practice without turning his back.

It bothered him for weeks. He couldn't do anything without pondering that very question. He couldn't stop thinking about the way he'd described you as his girlfriend. You'd always been a friend, and Isagi knows you as a girl. But you're you before that, and he's never quite put both things next to each other.

But he'd never even thought to look at you as a girlfriend. He brushed off such comments and so did you. You were his friend. One of the very best. You'd know each other until you die, and in a way - this is just proof of your next stage of life. You'd settle down with a partner and so would he and everything would be fine.

But, the thing was - he'd never actually conjured up the future. There was never any assured belief that you'd go and find someone to nest with so soon. It felt unnatural. Disorienting. There was an order to this strange and mad world and your relationship went against it.

Even in thinking that, it'd take Isagi weeks to figure out the extent of his feelings. Weeks of practicing, of going on group dates with his team, of drinking. Weeks of missing you. Being conscious of the sudden absence of his very best friend in the world. You still saw him but it was no longer every other day. And you still called and texted, still told him stupid stuff about your life.

But he'd go on Instagram and see pictures of you from someone else's account. You'd be wearing something he'd never seen you in before. It was pretty. You were prettier. He'd never thought about that before, if only to say that you were and always had been. And plenty of guys had noticed in highschool, too. He'd never thought about it then either.

Isagi had never really considered a lot of things. It didn't dawn on him that he loved you until Bachira pried the information out of him one night on the road.

("Yocchan is stupid,"

Isagi leans on the bench in the locker room and frowns, throwing a confused look Bachira's.

"What the hell? For what?"

It's not Bachira who tells him the information - but Rin, who walks towards his own locker with a tired expression and a towel around his shoulder.

"You're in love with her, you stupid jackass.")

Right. It'd been Rin who told it to him straight, and Rin would know a thing about love. Apparently he'd been with the same girl since highschool and he knew a thing or two. For Rin to tell Isagi such a thing made Isagi really think on it, and when Isagi finally sat down and thought about it - it was clear that he was head over heels in love.

Isagi is in love with you. It has been a tremendous pain in the ass trying to live with this information. It made sense - it really did. It made sense that everything suddenly felt so wrong. It made sense that he never new anything about love and that he could never keep a relationship.

When he thought about it, he'd never stop comparing everyone to you. If it were you—you'd be clumsy at fancy restaurants but it'd still be so much fun to go. If it were you—he might've cared much more about valentines day chocolates. It would've been so novel, so lovely - to imagine how hastily you would've made them. Not obligatory friendship chocolates but something just for him.

If it were you, he might've wanted to buy you expensive things. They'd be different. Clothes and shoes but game consoles and concert tickets. If it were you, he'd always take his sports car. He might've liked the way you fawned over them, with that wide-eyed sense of adventure he's spent his whole life getting to know.

Yes if it were you, Isagi might've gotten angry. Now that he knows, the idea you're getting so touchy-feely with another guy makes him sick. He knows he has no right to feel that way, but he can't exactly help the feeling either.

From the start, if Isagi had realized love started and ended with you, then maybe he would know a thing or two about love by now. He might've cared more about everything, had he realized it even a little sooner.

A few months ago would've sufficed.

Isagi is in love with you.

He has no idea if you feel the same, but in a way that doesn't change anything.

He's seated on his couch, alone in his apartment - and thinking wistfully that he probably has been this whole time.

He looks around his apartment, feeling a little sorry for himself. He's drinking. Even this tipsy, his mind is clouded with memories. You looked at this place together and you helped Isagi move in many months ago.

A place with a good view of the city, Isagi stands to his feet and watches near the cool glass of the window.

It takes him a while to hear his phone ring. When he does, he almost feels like he's hallucinating when he sees your name on the other side. He stares, wonders if the kami like playing malicious tricks on him, and then picks up.

He speaks slowly.

"Hello?"

He knows your crying, even though you're trying harder to hide it. That desperate sniffle that you get is an easy tell.

"Yoichi," You mutter, soft and sad "Can you come to the park?"

"At this hour? It's late. Your boyfriend is gonna be pissed."

You hiccup on the other side of the line. Isagi wants to run to you as soon as possible.

"Just come," You sniffle again, a little sadder. You're crying this time forreal "...I want to see you."

"Okay. Are you alone?"

"Mm,"

"Stay on the phone with me. I'll come soon. Stay on the line."

"Okay."

__

Isagi comes to find you at the park like you've asked. He keeps you on the line the entire Uber ride there and then as he comes through the playground to find you.

Somehow, he knows exactly where you'll be. It's the park you two grew up coming to. It's dark out, damp from the night, and Isagi finds you tucked in the same corner you always are.

You still fit there somehow, just beneath the slide. It's a big space, enough for two people. So, wordless, Isagi climbs into the little box and sits next to you. Close but not close enough, he hangs up the phone and turns his head to stare at you.

"I'm here," He says, mostly because he doesn't know what else to say.

You look up at him, obviously having been crying. You're wearing a sweatshirt and shorts, but your face has some light make-up on it like you were on a date. He forces himself not to frown as you gaze at him - pouting.

"You're here." You repeat, like you don't know what else to say. You lean your head on his shoulder. It's the most natural feeling in the world, but right now - it makes his breath hitch "Thanks for comin'"

"Are you gonna tell me what happened?"

"Well I don't want to."

"Can you really say that after crying like a baby, begging for me to come over, huh? All I want to see you—"

You elbow him without mercy.

"Shut up you jackass. Sorry to interrupt your late night jerk-off session with my tears."

It's not said with any malice, a joke - but there's insecurity laced in. Sorry for making you come see me, you want to say he's sure. He shakes his head.

"I could've been hooking up with a girl."

"Yeah? It's a miracle anyone would wanna get your dick wet, you should go back and finish the job,"

"Can't," Isagi mumbles, trying not to look at you closely "Some girl is making my shoulder wet instead though."

"Sorry," You croak, so horrifyingly sincere Isagi doesn't know how he's keeping himself upright "I can move."

"I was kidding," He says, hurriedly "It's fine. It reminds me of when we we're kids."

You huff a laugh.

"You only remember annoying stuff."

He mumbles something in agreement before there's a brief bout of silence. He speaks again first.

"Gonna tell me what happened?"

"We broke up," You mumble. Isagi feels his heart race, immediately riddled with guilt afterwards. "He broke up with me."

"I thought things were going well?"

"They were," You sniffle. It's the first time in your lives you've opened up to each other about something like this. You've talked about it, but it was always more him talking and you listening. He'd never heard about your crushes before.

In such a vulnerable, innocent position. Alone with him, confiding in him. He wants to stay with you forever "He was really good to me."

"So what? Why'd you break up?"

"I didn't love him. I liked him. And I thought I'd come to love him, but I didn't...I just couldn't love him. He knew it too, so he broke up with me."

"Was he mean about it?"

You laugh.

"Course not. He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met in my whole life. Told you, he was good to me."

"So then...? Are you sad about hurting his feelings?"

You nod, almost meek.

Isagi loves you more than life itself, he thinks.

"I wanted to love him. I thought I could."

"Why couldn't you?"

A brief pause of silence. You're debating on what to say before you seem to settle on something.

"Already someone else."

"Someone else? You love someone else?"

A whisper of hope. So small Isagi almost can't bear it. You nod.

"And what about them?"

"Doesn't love me back."

"How long?" His voice is shaking. He has no idea if you can tell. You laugh.

"A long time."

"Do I know him?"

You laugh again, a little throatier. More melancholy. Isagi feels like he's looking into an abyss. A dangerous place to fall in if he's not careful. He's already in love, already too deep. But he already steeled himself not to hope too much.

"You do know him, I guess."

"Tell me about him," Isagi almost urges. He has to be sure. He has to be sure this isn't one long dream, and that everything is real. "What he's like."

You look at him surprised.

"I thought you hated when I talked about stuff like this?"

"Changed my mind."

"Weirdo. It's nothin' special. We've known each other a while. We get along well. He likes the stuff I do and I like being around him."

"When'd you realized you loved him?"

"Middle school? Probably."

Ah. You've known each other a little longer than that, haven't you?

"You're being awfully secretive about it. Nothing more specific?"

You frown at him.

"Piss off. Go back to not caring about it. It's a dark part of my past and I already gave up on it forever ago."

"What if..." Isagi swallows. He's really the dumbest guy in the entire world for this. It could always be someone else. He knows that. "If your feelings were returned? What then?"

"I've never thought about it," You say, not even considering it might be the case "I'd be happy but I don't see the point in getting my hopes up. His type in girls is like...cuter I guess."

Isagi wants to knock himself out. Idiot. He's gone and ruined his own chances. He wish he could go back and kick the ass of his highschool self. If he called you cute right now, you'd definitely think he was trying to coddle your feelings. You are cute to him.

He can't get the words out.

"And you don't think you are?"

You shoot him a surprised look then burst out into laughter.

"Well, no. Daisuke used to say it but I don't know. Most guys wouldn't think of me as...cute? Sexy maybe? Apparently some of the guys from department see it that way."

Aah. Isagi hates this. He hates hearing that guys name without honorifics. His first name, at that.

"You should listen to the guy you used to date and not whatever knuckleheads you go to school with."

"Are you saying I'm cute, Yoichi? Started feeling bad?"

"It's not pity, alright? But you're not..not cute."

You pause before breaking out in genuine, unruly laughter. Isagi adores the sound of your voice, adores every inch of you as you giggle yourself into a fit.

"You'll never get a girlfriend like that. You have to at least be able to pretend."

It's not pretending. He wants to tell you that you're cute. The way you laugh is cute and the look you get playing stupid claw machine games is cute and the way you get excited by the 7/11 carrying your favorite things is cute. It's never been different and you still look so delighted. Everything about you is cute. Isagi wants to say all that, and that he finds you sexy too. For different, ordinary reasons those stupid guys in your department could never begin to know.

But words are useless - inconceivably pointless to try and make you understand.

"You're cute," He says first, staring at the place in front of him. Then adds "That's not pity."

"So you know how to smooth talk too?"

"It's not that either."

"Then what is it?" Your voice is wavering.

Now or never.

"A confession."

Isagi feels you tense. Feels you freeze. You start to stutter another joking, lifting your head from his shoulder to turn away but Isagi is quicker. Quick to hold your shoulder, to turn you towards him, to hold your cheek and make you look his face.

"Yoichi?"

"Is it me? Am I the person you like?"

You shake your head trying to look away.

"I don't want to answer that."

"I like you," Isagi grips your shoulder tighter, presses his forehead against yours as he holds on for dear life with hope "I only figured it out recently."

A bout of silence passes before your voice sounds again. It's shaking so hard. Isagi can hear how hard your heart is beating.

"This is fucking mean." You whisper. He frowns at you.

"Do I look like I'm joking? Huh? Does it even kind of seem like that?"

"But since when?" You're arguing. Isagi just confessed his undying love for you and you're arguing with him about it. It's so you. "I'm not even your type."

"No one is my type but you, you idiot." Isagi is exasperated explaining this. It's embarrassing but he's a lot of time to reflect and this is as true as it gets "Every single time I'd ever tried dating someone else or doing things with them - I didn't care. I just did it without thinking. But I always thought if it was you...I'd always want it to be you."

"You're not attracted to me." You assert, maybe trying to compensate.

"Fuck you, I couldn't tell you that you were hot to your face. You kicked my ass every time I mentioned the fact your tits got bigger in highsc—"

You shove him with your shoulder.

"Because you talk about it like that you shitty jock." You hiss.

"Then what do you want me to say?" Isagi mumbles, looking at you "I think you're sexy. What else is there?"

"God this is so embarrassing,"

"I'm being serious," Isagi adds, pouting, face flush with heat "You're just...you've always been attractive I guess."

You give him a small frown. Isagi thinks it's the cutest thing in the world. He wants to kiss you absolutely fucking stupid.

"Are you sure? Like really sure?"

He snorts, laughing humorlessly.

"I've been agonizing about it for weeks. Yes I'm sure."

"What if I told you to kiss me? Could you do it?"

Isagi stares at you in disbelief. He turns himself slightly, staring at you before reaching his hand out towards your cheek. You make a soft noise of surprise as he brushes his thumb underneath your eye. Your face is so hot it's burning against the palm of his hand. He lets his hand settle on the back of your neck before leaning into kiss you.

He kisses you hard but slow. Passion imbued into each tiny movement, drawing as deep as he can go without pushing his tongue between your lips.

You let out a soft moan that makes him pull away, eyes widened. Humiliated you try to shove him away, but Isagi manages to catch you by your wrist.

"Is it starting to click or do you need me to prove it one more time?"

"Ugh. Fuck, you're so,"

He grins wolfishly as he stares at you, watching you shrink so slightly under his gaze. He's not used to winning against you in any capacity with the exception of soccer. It feels good.

"I'm so?"

"Annoying."

"That's it?" He leans in again, lips brushing your cheek and pressing a kiss to it before moving down. He presses kisses down your jaw, relishing in the way you squirm. "Nothing else to add?"

"You're enjoying this too much, Yoichi," You reprimand, though you don't make any effort to move "Are you fishing for compliments?"

"I'm wondering if you find me sexy too, that's all."

You pause before leaning in. He watches the gears turn in your brain before turning your voice low.

"Wanna touch me and find out yourself?"

He pulls away instantly in shock as you blink at him innocently. There's an air of smugness about you. He feels his face burn red immediately, blood rushing up into his brain. He tucks his chin looking away from you. His brain feels like it's full of static.

He's embarrassed. By what you've said but more by how naturally everything falls into place. By how effected he is by something so simple. It usually takes so much more to get him like this.

"What the hell was'at..."

"Karma. Don't be all cocky. I've known about my feelings way longer than you."

"Didn't think you'd know jackshit about stuff like that though."

"Just cause I spare you my sex stories doesn't mean they don't exist."

Isagi feels a pang of irritation as he scoffs.

"I don't want hear about them now either."

"I thought you weren't the jealous type?"

"I just wasn't that into any of those girls."

"But you're into me? Enough that you get jealous?"

Isagi laughs at that.

"Yeah. I'm way more into you than you're ever gonna get through your head anyways."

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Means I wanna get all lovey-dovey with you and embarrass you all the time."

You flush and Isagi feels like he's won. Instead of feeling elated or cocky, this time he just feels a little dazed. He stares at you through lidded eyes.

"I'm so into you," Isagi mutters, leaning his head against your shoulder "You're never gonna get it unless you look in my brain,"

You pause momentarily, leaning back enough that Isagi sits up. He looks at you curiously before he feels you tap foreheads. You close your eyes and hum, before peeking just one open.

"I looked," You say softly "I still win,"

Isagi groans internally. God. God you're so fucking cute. It's so you and it's so cute and he loves you.

"Can I please kiss you again?"

"You don't have to ask every time."

"No takebacks."

Isagi leans in again, to kiss you a little softer this time. When he pulls away, the look on your face makes him want to do it all over again. You'll be here all night if he doesn't get a hold of himself.

"You wanna come over to my place?"

"Isn't a little early for that?"

Isagi knocks your foreheads together.

"Not like that. It's late and the trains aren't running. I don't want you taking a cab,"

"I'm a big girl, Yoichi," You say sardonically "If you want me to stay over, just ask. You're still my best friend, dummy." You add the last part a little softer.

He grabs your hand.

"Then stay with me."

You nod.

"Okay. And we can have sex if you want."

"Fuck yeah."

[creativewritersposts]

Fucked up - Nico Hischier (part two)

summary; Nico Hischier x reader

Part one: click here

warning(s); angst, argument, insecurity, FLUFF , maybe grammar errors

author's note; hi lovely people out there! At first thank you so much for ✨100✨ followers. So many people asked for part two. Hope you like it, like I do!

tags; @hockey-hischier13 🌟 --------------------------------------------------------------

"I'd like to invite you to Switzerland, meeting my family."

This sentence hunts you until now. Two weeks later after getting the news from Nico. Your only reaction was "I'm not sure", secretly you'd jump into a sea for him, if he asks for it. You promised to change your clinginess.

He just sent you the ticket if you want to join. That's it. He did not visit you, he only left a voice message.

Maybe you did the wrong decision to fly to Switzerland and running after a man who feels annoyed from you.

"Babe!", Nico's sunglasses mirrors your face in it, kissing your cheek because you moved your head, that he couldn't kiss your lips. You don't feel deserved to get kissed.

"Hello, Nico", you smile and drive without a conversation to his parents house. It's a cute one, like in one of these Switzerland prospects everyone knows. "Are", he pauses between," are you okay? Like are we okay?", his brown eyes meet yours, him on the driver seat, parked. "We're cool", you nod and open the door.

"I'll take the bags", he smiles and walks into his family home.

You feel way too much familiar in this house. Maybe it's a red flag for him. That you feel too comfortable.

"Nice to meet you!", his mom comes out of the kitchen, hugging you tight, "you are way more prettier than Nico described me", she giggles and looks at you, "I'm Katja!".

You mumble a thank you, until you come in and meet the rest of his family, sitting in their garden. "are you cold? I can give you my jacket", Nico whispers these words through your shoulder after a few hours and the gone sunset. "I'm ok", it's a liar. You're freezing and everyone can see it, like your blue lips. Nico looks confused, you love this clothes. You begged for this jacket for months. "I'll go to bed", you smile thankful in the family round, leaving Nico's siblings and parents behind you.

"I'll go with you", he says goodnight to all and walks into the house with you. "I'd like to shower", you ask for his permission, "you don't need to ask me", Nico observes you, completely insecure, leaving him. You're literally running away from him, like fading apart when he wants to talk with you.

"Hi", he looks at you, smiling seeing you with a towel around your body after showering and him sitting on your shared bed. "hi", you avoid his eyes, random searching clothes in your bag.

Maybe he doesn't like cellulite. Maybe it's a red flag for him too.

"I'm the luckiest man alive to have you, my family loves you too", he smirks in completely chill. "I'm glad you're happy now",comes out of your mouth, your chest hurts. Deep inside your soul. Your soul is shit.

Your soul is a red flag. Without changing he couldn't loving you. Nico stares at your face, aren't you happy? You acted weird for weeks now, he posted a funny selfie just to geg your attention (usually he would never do this for a woman) but you didn't react.

"Aren't you happy?", he asks. "Sure", you bite on your lip, you hate to lie. "What's wrong?", Nico takes your arm, petting it. It's a lovely gesture for a man who feels disgusted about you.

"Can you ever love me the way I am?", you can't blink away the tears anymore.

"Wh-", he looks annoyed.

"You don't owe me anything, I should be happy you're still dating me", you shrug your shoulders. "Wh-", he starts again.

"of couse you're lovable", he gets worried. "I fall more and more in love with you", he explains his feelings, "no you fell in love in someone who I am not! Maybe I'm clingy and I'm annoying and love to spam-", you're sobbing your pain away.

"I miss your spamming and I also miss your real smile", he lovely whipes your tears away from the cheeks, his hands are shaking.

"I stress you out and you don't want to ask me to be your-", you whisper exhausted about the whole situation.

"My mom told me if a woman drives you crazy it's real love", he pets your hair, calming you down.

"I'm not lovable!", you sob, "you are", he promises. "I wanted to ask you tomorrow if you want to be my girlfriend. I'm sorry to let you feel this way!", he clears his throat. "Can you please be like yourself again?", he kisses your hand, holding it in his.

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐞 • 𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐦

Summary: English is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes… I was thinking about something fuffly + smut. Like the reader being innocent and a shy person. She and jude got into their relationship recently and they have had no sex yet bc jude don’t wants to pressure her to do anything (but ofc he wants have sex w her), especially when he starts to realize how innocent she is… he thinks she’s too cute and at the same time he wants to ruin her, he feel the need to protect her. But when y/n is in a convo w her girlies friends and one of them asks about her sex life w jude and she don’t know what to say, she would be curious about it but would be too shy to talk w jude about it he would find it weird that she was quiet and looking bothered by something and would talk w her. After insists a lot, she finally says about all the stuffs that she heard about her friends and she would be “idk how react” and jude gets fully turned on by her innocent but makes he’s best to not show ithe tries to find a way to explain for her without destroy her innocent but she wants to know about everything and she wants him to do everything w her bc she wants to be his.

Genre: smut, fluff

Warning: MATURE CONTENT, virgin reader, sex talk, innercourse unprotected sex, cursing, innocent reader(?)

Pairing: Jude Bellingham x f reader

Word count: 1.6k

Jude Masterlist

Enjoy

You wonder what it’s like to have sex.

While driving over to your boyfriends place after a day of hanging out with your friends, that thought popped into your head. What was it like to have sex? Was it the worst thing in the world or was it the best thing in the world?

The way your friends described it, it was the best thing ever. It was as if your souls were intertwined together. A step in your relationship that was huge as they said.

You’ve never got to experience that. Nah You were a virgin, innocent as can be. Sure you touched yourself, but you never had anyone else touch you.

You wondered if your boyfriend Jude thought about having sex with you? You wondered if he ever wanted to do those special things your friends talked about, with you. You’ve only been together for 2 months and he has never pressured you into having sex with you and you love him for that. But you wondered if he wanted you as much as you imagined.

-

You turned your car off once you reached Jude’s apartment.

You walked up to the front door and knocked. A few seconds went by before the door opened revealing your smiley boyfriend.

“Hi, baby.”

“Hi.” You smiled back.

Jude pulled you into the door and hugged you right before he kissed you.

“how are you?” Jude shut the door and you began pulling off your shoes and coat off.

“I’m good. Just got done hanging out with my girlfriends.”

“ok well that’s nice. I’m about to order some food and maybe we can watch a show or something. How does that sound?”

“Sounds pretty good.” You smiled at him. Jude kissed you one more time before he went off to order dinner and you went to the couch.

-

An hour passed by your food arrived. You put on a show and you both sat on the couch to watch it while eating.

Throughout the whole show you were very antsy. You couldn’t sit still. Every few seconds you would change your position on the couch. Jude took notice. He tried to ignore it, but after a bit he couldn’t.

“Love, what’s wrong?” Jude picked up the remote pausing the TV. His hands found your waist under his hoodie you had borrowed for the cold temperatures.

Judes hands on your waist wasn’t something you were unfamiliar with, but today it made chills run down your spine.

“What’s wrong pretty girl?”

“um…” You avoided jude’s eyes “its really fucking silly.”

“No it’s not. Tell me what’s going on in your head?”

You looked up into jude’s brown eyes. “um so when I was with my friends today, we were- well they went talking about sex and of course I uh.. I didn’t understand.”

You laughed looking down at your lap in embarrassment, but Jude put his finger under your chin making you look at him.

“What didn’t you understand?”

“I didn’t understand the sex positions they were referring to. Like missionary, doggy. Also they said when you have sex with someone it’s like your souls intertwine with each and the moment is very special and important. It made me wonder if you can explain it to me.”

You swallowed, happy to finally get that off your chest.

Jude loves how innocent you are. You were clueless, it made him feel things he hoped you didn’t notice.

“Baby, all those things they talked about are really interesting. Missionary is when the man is top and the woman is on the bottom. You’re face to face with each. Doggy isn’t the way. The woman’s non all four and the man’s behind.”

You nodded. “that’s interesting. So what about your souls intertwine? Is that true?”

Jude hesitated for a second before nodding. “yeah, but it’s only with someone special you know?” Jude ran his hand over his stubble chin then locking eyes with you.

“can you show me?”

Jude eyes widen. “you want me to show you?”

“Yes. Show me what it’s like to be fucked in missionary. Show me what doggy is. Show me what it’s like for our souls to be intertwine Jude.”

The abrupt wave of confidence came as a shock but you didn’t care. You needed this badly.

Jude looked at you, his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth. He grabbed your face. “ok . Lemme show you.”

Jude kissed you. A shiver ran down your spine as he pulled you onto of his lap in seconds.

You moaned into his lips. Jude hand ran up your spine till he found your bra. He unhooked it with one hand.

“lets take my shirt off.” You said once you pulled away from Jude. You tugged the hoodie off of you and your bra. From the waist up you were nude. You just realized you were completely nude in front of Jude for the first time. You couldn’t help but get shy when you notice him staring down at your body.

“you’re fucking stunning.” Jude found your lips again. His hand left your back and found your breast. He rolled your nipple between his finger making you groan into his lips.

“take off your clothes. I can’t be the only one.”

Jude laughed. You slid off of him to let him remove his clothes. While he did that you pulled off your jeans. Leaving you in your black lace panties.

Jude was completely nude now. “I’m going to show you what missionary is.”

Jude climbed onto of you. His fingers found our panties. He looked up at you for confirmation to take them off. To which you gave.

“Jude pulled them off of you. He leaned down, his lips found your stomach and he trailed kisses up it. Your breathing grow heavy at each touch of his.

When he reached your cleavage of your boobs, he looked up at you. “are you sure you want to do this?”

You ran your hand over the nap of Jude’s neck. “of course. I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.”

Jude hummed an ok. you watched as he stroked himself a few times before placing himself between your fold, slipping in you slowly with ease from how wet you were.

Your heart slammed against your chest. You squeezed your eyes shut while he went further and further into you.

“You’re doing so good baby.” Jude said lowly. His lips finding your cheek.

“Are you ready for me to move?”

“yes.” You barely squeak out. Jude moved in you. A hiss fell from your lips from not being used to the feeling but it felt amazing nonetheless.

Jude started out slow but gradually grew faster. Both Your moans filled the room like a symphony playing the most beautiful music.

“omg Jude yes.” You grabbed ahold of his biceps as he thrust into you with everything he could give. The sounds you were making were music to jude’s ears. “You fuck me so good.”

You look up and smile slightly at him. Then your eyes rolled into the back of your head.

“yeah?” jude smirks. He closed the gap between you both. You lips lazily moved against each other.

You tighten around him. You were close, the familiar burn in your lower stomach making you squirm beneath your boyfriend.

“you’re going to cum?” Jude pressed his hand on your lower stomach making you groan. All he could do was laugh at how he was make you feel.

Jude kept up his rapid thrust. He pressed his hand deep into that your tummy and that was enough to make you cum.

Your back arched off the couch and you moaned into Jude’s neck. Jude kept going to ride you through your orgasm, but also to help him reach his own.

“Fuck in going to cum.” He said through breathy grunts. He pulls out you then coming on your stomach.

The both of you sat there catching your breaths. When Jude finally was calm he got up and went to the bathroom right off the living room. He came back with a towel in his hand to wipe your stomach.

“so was that everything you dreamed about for a first time?”

Looking over at him you nod. “best thing ever. Thank you.” You kissed him before reaching down on the floor and picking up your hoodie and panties.

“but you haven’t showed me everything I’m looking forward to showing me the other stuff.”

You watched as Jude laughed softly. “don’t worry darling. I’ll show you everything.”

[quimichi]

TW: obsessive behavior, stealing

SUMMARY: He couldn't take his eyes off you...why are you so...catching? So pretty to look at...Why do you have to have this beautiful soul...and why would he do anything for you?

CHARACTERS: SUB!Yandere x F!Reader

WORD COUNT: 854

*character in the picture: Yoshiki - The summer Hikaru died

¡! ❞ Akito always loved beautiful things. Since childhood he loved to watch the sunset or sunrise. His parents always had to stop their car when there was a rainbow so he could take a picture with his little kids toy camera. When he got older, he also hot into poetry. He found his mothers poetry book in the bookshelf before he could even understand half the words written there. He just knew those words and phrases must be pretty.

¡! ❞ All things fascinate him, because all things are beautiful in some way. So it wouldn't have been much of a surprise that when he sees you, he would fall hard.

¡! ❞ But...it was. There he was, standing his eyes almost popping out of his skull while he introduces himself to the class. He just moved here, everything i so new to him. There's so much to discover! But he had no idea he would discover love...discover you.

¡! ❞ He stared, directly at you, you saw and felt it. Normally, you'd think its really weird, cause it is. But since he appears so cute and innocent, you shake it off as a nervous fixation. Surely someone like him wouldn't be THAT weird. Wrong...

¡! ❞ The teacher decides the best place for him to sit, is the free place beside you. There are many more free seats, but you were one of the nicest in class, so your teacher figured it would be best if Akito sat beside you. Maybe you will even show him around? Introduce him to the new environment?

¡! ❞ So he sat down beside you, and immediately introduced himself, "Akito." He extends his hand, wanting you to shake it, and of course you place your hand in his...oh-your hand is...so warm? It feels nice against his skin. Your skin against his. Youe have really nice hands, with hands like these you MUST obviously do something. Art? Maybe you compose songs? Poetry maybe! "I know-!" you giggle as you shake his hand. Akito tilts his head, "Huh?...oh-i already introduced myself-!" He's a little ashamed, but he had worse situations. Your beauty is just...he doesn't know how to describe it, it caught him off guard a bit.

¡! ❞ "I'm Y/N, it's really nice to meet you." You shake his hand, you can't deny it, he's kinda cute. But the introduction was short lived because the lesson was about to start. While you were able to pay attention, Akito was not. He doesn't dislike school, but neither does he love it. Hes a pretty good student, he can pay attention. But rn the lesson is just bugging him the wrong way. It cut you off, you couldn't talk to him anymore...He wanted to hear more of your voice...what a shame, truly.

¡! ❞ But its ok, he can just sit there and learn about you! Oh, now he knows what those hands do. Your handwriting is pretty, the way that pen flows over the paper makes it look so elegant, so easy. You wouldn't pay much attention to it cause well, its not really important is it? Its just your handwriting. But Akito already memorized how each letter is written, connects with the other, how they look in combinations.

¡! ❞ You, again, notice his stare. And, again, you shake it off. You move your hand over and turn the paper into his vision, "there." You honestly just thought he wants to see your notes and maybe copy some of them. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO NICE??? Why is his heart pounding so much?? Is this love? No, it can't be you two just met??

¡! ❞ at the end of class he noticed how one of your pens mustve rolled off your table. Seems like you also didn't noticed...so you wouldn't notice if he would take it, right? You're so nice you wouldn't mind one pen less right? Its also the pen you took your notes with!...that means your warm soft hands touched it...pretty hands.

¡! ❞ Quickly he shoves it into his pocket before someone notices him and walks out right after you, following along like a lost puppy. You know where the next class is, so you don't mind. But he actually forgot about this fact and just wanted to follow you, because...well youre interesting. He keeps playing with the pen in his pocket, the material is nice. You must probably like the pen if you take notes with it. And he saw more of the same brand laying around on your desk. Is it your favorite brand? Should he buy you some?...Or do you have enough? Wait-why did you stop walki-

¡! ❞ He bumped into your back, or more specifically, your backpack. "Sorry-! I uh...didn't pay attention to where i was going..." You laugh it off, saying its ok while walking away to a friend.

¡! ❞ Odd...this feeling in his stomach, the sudden drop. Perhaps...jealousy? Is he truly jealous of your friend? Just because you walked over to them to talk to them instead of you? Cause your attention shifted?...

to be continued?

I realized I take waaay to long so--more parts? Was it even good???