#ok the trick now is to get myself out of bed lol

[whentherewerebicycles]

my joints hurt so bad 😩😩😩 tomorrow I must do the thing I dread (make a phone call) so as to do the other thing I dread (find a new doctor) to figure out what’s going on. also I feel like I’ve been relentlessly negative about everything lately which I think is mostly a manifestation of my bleh mood around resuming fertility treatments + my anxiety around the fact that my student loan and car payment are about to go way up which makes everything else feel more precarious. but I don’t wanna live like that!!! my life is very good!!!! for instance I have two snuggly little dogs and a job I really love! I live in the same town as my bff and my sister!! I have the cutest little house and I get to paint the walls any colors I want because my landlord is a really nice dude who wants me to enjoy living here!!! I am surrounded by natural beauty so breathtaking I can’t believe it’s REAL I can’t believe people just get to live like this!!!! it sucks that it’s proven expensive and kinda scary to get pregnant (and that it’s consumed so much of my mental/emotional energy this year) but also I am very fortunate I’ve been able to juuust about make it work financially thus far. so whatever sigh this week I want to try my best to redirect my thoughts to the good stuff in my life when I find myself wallowing in that negative headspace.

okay let’s see what do we the day hold. my paint is ready to pick up at home depot so that can be my big project today if I choose to undertake it. I think I will! but first I will eat breakfast, tape off the trim, and take off outlet covers before I pick stuff up. I am a notoriously messy painter despite my best precautions but I want to try to go very slow and be very careful this time!! (I always say this and I always somehow end up scrubbing paint out of the carpet.)

plan for today:

make breakfast

water plants

spend an hour or so drafting the ‘getting started in research’ guide

tape off trim/edges

move furniture as needed

pick up paint & supplies (grab soil too!!)

paint????

take a shower post-painting

empty dishwasher

change sheets/duvet cover and do laundry

empty upstairs/downstairs trash cans

take a long walk with the dogs

maybe spend some time researching CEL pedagogy in rhet/comp classes if I want

set a timer and read for 20 min—I’ve been slipping and need to gently get myself back into the habit! I only have 4 books left to hit 60 for the year but my ambitious goal is 70 so really 14 books in 14 weeks. this is absolutely doable but I gotta keep up a steady pace

[pardonmydelays]

prison gang as ghost quartet

wow, ok, this is such a fun question & the fact that we have four characters but everyone has a few different reincarnations, so i actually have a lot of characters to choose from... let's think.

warning: this is all a joke but also not & we all know ghost quartet is super creepy so please don't get mad at me, i tried.

i'm gonna start with myself because it's so easy & obvious: i am pearl standing on the platform playing a game on my phone, i'm so focused i can't see what's happening around me. then all of a sudden somebody pushes me onto the subway track... i'm ready to die. somebody is trying to take a photo of me lying there waiting for death, i smile for the camera. i let the train rip through me. i'm a ghost now. wooo.

@anixknowsnothin - you're my little sister, so i figured out you must be one of rose's reincarnations (even if i am actually the one who wants to murder you in your sleep). in my head, you're a starchild. you may be infected with disbelief & blasphemy now, but one day you will transcend & vomit this loser out of you & become the next big thing - the starchild. just... get out of bed. & light yourself on fire.

@noproof-youjustknow - you are definitely rose red, the one who spent hours looking through the telescope with astronomer. so, in my head you're a person who has a great knowlegde of... anything, really, so maybe even the stars, i wouldn't be surprised if someone would try to steal your wonderful work. i love the way you see the world, i love the way your soul sings. i can also imagine you looking at the stars with the love of your life, so there's that.

@measuredmotion - you have to be one of many reincarnations of pearl, because i am pearl & we are one brain cell. you must be scheherazade. why? because you always have so many stories (1001 even) to tell me & i'd always ask for more. you also have a lot of memories & a lot of sadness. you're haunted by the memory of who you used to be. oh, & you love staring at your phone, just like tango dancer.

@mymuses-acquiredlikebruises - you have to be bear, & here's why: just like him, you're not a murderer or a crazy person, although i don't know if you like honey. the best part of it all is that he wasn't really a bad person (we're only talking about bear, not the pusher he's gonna become lol). he just likes honey!!! would you be smart enough to trick somebody just like he did? i'm sure you would!

@redwidow616 - when i think of you i can't help but think of 7 years old roxie usher from family meeting. you're usually not on discord with us (although i'd love to see you there more often) so i always picture you playing with your imaginary friends in your head instead, just like her. & maybe it's beautiful there. maybe you all hang out in nature all the time. & you are all... soul.

[munsonology]

I know you like Eddie and idk if u like Steve but I keep seeing these steddie/reader fics where Steve is a sub and Eddie is a dom but like

Eddie is def a soft!dom at times, but he's a switch. First and foremost. Secondly, Steve?? Sure, rare occasions he can be a sub, but he is mean he is a bitch!! He is a dom!! He would totally get off on degradation and then during aftercare make sure you know he never meant those things and he loves u. Eddie is just mumbling and moaning the whole time incoherently, the only words you can make out is "feels so good" "good girl" 'fuck me" and "please more". But after? He is cocky as fuck acting like he wasn't just a second away from whining for one of you two to peg him

Bestie I love Steve! I know it doesn’t seem like it but I was originally a Steve girl but I think having the gap between season 3 and 4 I kinda stopped and then Eddie came and here I am lol

But you’re so right! Steve never gives me sub vibes only dom, especially after watching season 2. I think steve still has king steve tendencies so when y’all get together he’s cautious to let it show because you’re his perfect match, and he doesn’t wanna scare you away. He was a mess after Nancy, but with you it’s different he feels like he couldn’t go on without you so he’ll do everything to keep you around.

I think Steve could let you dom him but only for like 30 minutes 😭 he’d never let you have full control but I think you kinda don’t want to either the whole time?? Like you’d tie his hands to the bed posts in his room and he’d tease like “are you sure it’s tight enough?” And now you’re questioning your knot skills

And maybe at the 15 min mark you’re mouth is full with big dick Steve, one hand at the base and the other tickling his balls how he likes but you stop and blow some air on the swollen head of his cock like a candle and now it’s on and he’s looking at you and says “do that again and you’ll regret it kitten”

But 10 minutes later you’re lowering yourself on his beautiful cock, and he’s so big 🤤 you’ve never had to lower yourself without help before and you gotta admit you might need help. You’re barely past the tip, and now he’s looking at you with a little smirk “do you need help baby. Just untie me” but you pout “no I can do it myself” and he chuckles “it’s ok to admit you need help kitten” and he sees how you’re determined so he talks you through it, encouraging you to take more of him, you your cunt was made for him and no one else but it’s still not working so you give up “ok I’ll let you take over” and he grins and flips you over on your back so fast your head spins and he laughs “I untied myself when you went to change the cassette….now let daddy take care of you kitten” it’s about a year before you dom him again 😭

Eddie on the other hand is so switchy. I feel like he can switch mid scene too if y’all are playing like that. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but like if you make him suck your strap (it’s a 2 sided dildo) but he sees how you moan when he tugs on the shaft that’s his opening!! And now he’s over you, one hand on your throat and the other on your strap fucking you with it and you don’t know how it happened so fast. One minute you had him on his knees, fucking him and jerking him off and making him blow you and now he’s taking your strap off and fucking your cunt wide open, taking a vibe (when did get that??? How did he hide that the whole time??) to your clit and forcing orgasm after orgasm out of you. The sheets are soaked from cum and squirt obviously and when he’s had his fill he tells you to open your mouth so he can make a deposit of spit as a token of forgiveness because he knows tonight was your night to dom. Yeah Eddie has tricks up his sleeves you gotta be careful with him 😭😭😭😭

[mango-jpeg]

i got heaven & slice of heaven notes

i’d been seeing this pair on twit and didn’t fully get the appeal but then thurs morning played the world quest where you see them together and was like hm….. ok i do really like boothill.. n cyborgs.. n thinking about different perhaps incompatible pleasures

walking home from the grocery store a few lines beamed right into my head:

Argenti out of his armour was kinda like a clam out of his shell; all soft and pink and vulnerable, only that wasn’t quite right, because no clam in the universe had ever looked so pretty. “It’s only natural, sure.” “Yes, a natural response when confined with one of such beauty as yourself.” “Uh?”

sat down and wrote it all in 2 hours, just straight into gdocs. wild

i've felt really drained during the back half of my course n been picking away at the same long fic for a few months now, so it's nice to know that the usual tricks for getting out of a slump still work (it's just reading, going for long walks, listening to music, n making space for thinking (not bein on that damn phone))

soo funny that it took more than a year to train myself to not automatically write in past tense but writing one (1) fic was all it took to snap me back into it. what's that about

for the 2nd fic, i jotted down some rough notes on friday night (sequel disease again) on saturday wrote most of it (3300ish words) in 2 hours then picked away at the last chunk in bits n pieces

wanted to contrast boothill's responses (alert, 'predatory') w argenti's (hazy, relaxed). i think as a combat unit boothill's system would interpret what argenti's doing to him as a threat, in part bc i think the sensations might be closer to pain, so i wanted those reactions to look different... perhaps a little much to try to accomplish from an outsider pov

i was gonna sit on it for a week to iron out the last bits that i wasn't happy w but then i thought posting pwp twice in one weekend was too funny to pass up (also i hope that by making small to medium edits after posting my posting anxiety will be less severe lol)

my smut barometer must be wack bc i honestly thought this one was uhhhh kind of a snoozer, but the comments are making me reconsider lmaoo

last week i read:

The Haunting of Hill House, by Shirley Jackson

Crush, by Richard Silken

and reread a few fics before bed, including rules of engagement and unusual weather which both seem relevant for obvious reasons.

titles are both from mannequin pussy songs. i was on the fence about serializing these works bc it seems silly with fics w absolutely zero plot so i just stuck w titles as a link

[jimmycartersufo]

this is me having the Tuesday foh museum employee version of Sunday scaries. I love using tumblr as a sort of diary right now especially when writing my hand causes pain!

the last two weeks of work have been especially rough and this week I have some tough stuff to get through that I'm nervous about but it'll be OK. I just struggled with the unknown. time always moves too quickly this time of year and I'm desperate to hold on to my days off because I am so burnt out. the problem is when you're in between those biweekly checks and you're broke as hell but also it's been pouring down rain. I can't help but feel bad and guilty when I do nothing. I didn't do just nothing, I took care of my mom today and I've rested a lot but it still feels weird and bad.

I'm almost back to being in the green for my sick time. I used up all my sick time and my boss had payroll give me negative sick time which was a life saver. I miss my boss so much. everything has gone to shit without her. but she deserves so much better. clearly. anyway, in a couple weeks I'll start to see actual sick time build up again. and on July 1 I'll get more pto 🤡 but thankfully at least Juneteenth falls on a Wednesday so we will have a three day weekend. The museum won't pay it's workers more or respect their security dept (which is historically and systematically Black) but they will do land acknowledgements if they happen to put up a work by a Native person (aka no permanent land acknowledgement lol) and they'll give us Juneteenth off with pay. oh and back of house gets more pto than foh but I'm not here to list alllllll of my complaints rn. but we as a team are counting down the days so we can have a three day weekend. like yeah holiday pay on a day we already have off (every gov holiday that falls on a Monday) but would rather have a floating holiday for more pto. abyway I should hopefully have some sick time built up in a couple months to take a day off for rest.

falling behind on chores again. desp need to spring clean dust because ofc I have to be a maximalist autistic. still need to wash my beach combing finds from a few weeks ago. still need to hang stuff up. the most I can do is pick up a little. do a load of laundry but share the labor with my husband because we don't have the capacity for either or alone. do dishes maybe. make breakfast, lunch, and John makes dinner. take care of mom which is hard sometimes but more than anythjng it has to be done and I can trick my brain into not being an asshole about it. make the bed but in a more "lazy" way. take care of myself and stick to my barely there routine. medicine with alarms, brush teeth, set out the clothes I want to wear at least a day ahead but two days if possible. shower when it's been too long. lotion on my face and my arms and my legs if I can tolerate it. drink water. try and keep my salt levels up. stretches even if it's in bed. my daily puzzles. learn something new (read an article and or a wiki page).

at least tomorrow we get paid. I have to save money for when we go to an Orioles game soon. need to figure out when and how and where we are viewing the eclipse. grocery shopping. taking care of mom if dad is working late/in traffic. look over what bills are do this check. thankfully we get paid I think three times this month? JK it's may we get three paychecks but thankfully I get paid the week of my mom's birthday!!!!!!

I work on late shift this month. bad because no extra money but good because I am so fucking exhausted. I'm basically a sorta manager without all the manager roles and Def not the pay. but that's basically what I am now. thinking about it makes me sick. I goofed up somewhere to end up here with this responsibility. but also it was happenstance. I understand that. and that I have been masking so well for so long.

it's autism awareness day. I am autistic. I am finally feeling right with that. it's been over a year now, and I've spent that time reflecting on my life and the way I am. I was lucky that my sister has been in programs and I basically knew a guy that knew a guy that knew a guy. but I don't have like, a therapist or anthring to guide me through the realities of hey you're autistic and this is why you think and do xyz. I wish I listened to autistic friends years ago that said hey you're autistic and I was like no not me, I don't do this thing but the thing is a lot of those things I didn't think I did I literally did not understand the questioning which is funny. I can't really think of a good example but like you read a question like do you struggle to make eye contact and irs like yes but only in certain circumstances like when I don't know someone but you don't have the way to answer with nuances so you just say no. not the best example but it's like that. what's so interesting about being diagnosed late is you start to kind a breakdown the safety nets of masking and then it seems like you're faking because you're doing all this stuff not in private anymore, like you're regressing or something and it's like no I was just playing a role.

today for dinner I had chicken nuggets and heinz pickle ketchup and we watched a video about being in wdw on 9/11 and I was like oh

rigut now I'm trying to follow my night routine but I'm so anxious to sleep. I did sleep in really late today after sleeping poorly and then getting up to take care of mom in the morning. I woke up just before noon after going back to bed about nine???? so I'm not very tired. I'm going to go figure out my lunch for tomorrow so I don't worry about it in the am and then I'm going to check the laundry and if it's dry enough get my favorite pair of undies (tomboyx boy shorts) and my favorite pants (green!!) and find a top and then make the bed comfy and then I'm gonna use my new neck massager even though I've probably used it too much today and I hope to find a nice wiki article to read :)))))))

[gaitwae]

Hey! 💚 I'm not sure if this is a request for a headcanon or one shot lol so you can pick whichever works better if that's ok

How would loki react to finding y/n has been pulling pranks on the other avengers and he's been getting blamed for it

This has been so funny to me, I'm so glad I can finally work on it!!!

Summary: Above!

Warnings: None.

“Y/N!” you heard a big voice boom. Loki opened the door to your bedroom, his eyes flaming with anger. You were sitting on your bed with a book in hand. You knew what was coming. 

“Hi, Loki.” You turned back to your story as he began to pace the floor. You had known any day now someone would find out, and it seemed someone finally had. More specifically, he had found out what you had been doing to him.

“I cannot believe you would do this to me! Frame me for Thor’s hair job!” he cried, running his hands through his glossy hair. “Plant evidence that I put the itching powder in Stark’s suit! Convince Wanda that it was me who had taught Vision that yesterday was... was... opposite day!” He stopped and seethed. “You’ve got some nerve—”

You flipped another page of your book, looking at him from the reflection on your dead phone. “—I know. But I’m not the one parading about, calling myself a ‘trickster;’ you’ve done that all by yourself.” You smirked.

Loki’s expression tightened. His face had gone from pallid to rosy with furious blush. “So it’s my fault?”

“That Thor is now a brunet? Yep.” You kept your gaze low, but occasionally watched his body language through your reflective screen.

He pointed his finger at you. “I’ve never done anything to you.”

“You didn’t need to—I just decided it would be funny.” You reached over and grabbed your waterbottle, taking a sip. “You haven’t even asked me to stop. You’ve just barged in here without knocking and shouted at me.”

“I wasn’t aware that my reputation needed a knock to be saved!”

“Oh, Loki, your reputation is far worse than you think,” you sighed. You closed your book and finally looked up at him. “Do you know the phrase, ‘The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’?”

Loki froze, confused. “I suppose I do, yes.” He looked all directions, trying to understand. “...Why?”

“Because I disagree with that phrase. I think it should be ‘The best way to a man’s heart is through his mind.’ I think it should be impossible for him to go a day without thinking about you.” You stood up. “Have I done my job?”

Loki’s jaw went slack. “I-I suppose so, but I’m not sure I can say for cer—for certain—,” he tried, rambling about something else as you got closer. He backed into the door and gulped viciously. “Y/N, if I had known before, I certainly wouldn’t have—”

“I knew it,” you said, beaming and pulling away. “You do like me! I knew it! I caught you red-handed!” You crowed, laughing and laughing at his reaction. “Was that all it took?”

His eyes went wide. “You tricked me. You tricked me.” He seemed utterly horrified. He seemed upset. “I would never have said that if I knew you were lying.” 

“But I wasn’t.” You moved back to him, putting your arms around his neck. “I meant every word.”

Loki arched a brow. “You know I can’t believe that, right?” He let his arms settle around your middle. 

“Believe it the best you can.” You grinned. You kissed him.

He kissed back, closing his eyes. “I shout out you to the others, you know...”

“But you won’t.”

“You’re right, and I despise that,” he sighed, rolling his eyes before kissing you again. 

Tag List: @make-me-imagine @bwemph @myraaaa17 @rorybutnotgilmore @loki-snape-our-hero @wolfish-trickster @lucywrites02 @mostly-marvel-musings @winterfrostsarmy @superheroesandstardust @castiels-majestic-wings @geekns @naterson @cozy-the-overlord @megthemewlingquim @whatafuckingdumbass @thebookbakery @delightfulheartdream @twhiddlestonsstuff @wrenhyperfixates @itscomplicatedx @sophlubbwriting @darkacademicfrom2021 @lilyofthesword @xlehukax @electroma89 @joucebox @high-functioning-lokipath @lokislittlesigyn @funsized-mimi @i-beg-your-pardon-laufeyson @kingix-the-confused-earthling @moonchildmp3 @mayday-romanogers @moumouton4 @marvelouslovely-barnes @thewindandthewolves @theaudacitytowrite @lostgreekgod @lokistoriesblog @cosplayingwitch @myriad501st @wolfsmom1 @lowkis @queenjosielaufeyson @lokiprompts @vbecker10 @floweramongstthestars

[basilly]

listening to your eyes || irl!quackity x reader

all it takes is one look

note: uhm- so not a request again, i think im truly enjoying writing these small bits for myself and self indulgent 

no pronouns/gender mentioned | reader w/ shopping&stuffed animal problem

edited by @jschllatt

image after image, they were fleeting across the screen, leaving the slightest memory in your brain. you had told yourself you were only window shopping, scrolling through endless pages of items. the urge to impulsively buy everything you saw was strong, but you knew your boyfriend quackity would get upset. 

he knew of your tiny problem and only shook his head in disappointment every time the package would ‘magically’ appear at your guys’ front door. he loved you and you knew that, but you bought so many unnecessary items he could only berate you for it.

as you continue to scroll, one particular item caught your eye. your eyes widened, it was perfect and there was no way you would pass this up. forgetting temporarily about your boyfriend’s disappointment.

with one swift click, it had been added to your cart. taking a quick glance at the balance, you knew it would all be worth it. 

confirmation email received, all there was left to do was tell quackity.

getting up from your spot on the couch, you make your way over to quackity’s streaming room, where he had been editing for hours. you enter after softly knocking, alerting him of your presence.

“hey alex!” “hi amor- what’s up?”

he motions you over so you were standing next to him as he sat in his chair facing you. fidgeting slightly with your hands, you decide to break the news.

“so... i may have done a little thing?”

lifting his eyebrow, quackity pulls at your hands, rubbing his over yours.

“well.. what did you do?” “promise you won’t get mad at me?” “i could never get mad at you-” “i bought another stuffed animal- it arrives monday.”

quackity could only hold a deadpanned expression, not amused by your antics.

“i take it back- i’m mad now. i can’t believe you had me worried- i thought you actually did something”

you tried so hard not to burst out in giggles and try to start defending yourself.

“ok but its so cute- here i’ll show you a picture! i couldn’t resist- it was too cute. AND it was cheap- we can call it our child and i’ve already picked out a name-” “y/n we have so many!! they’re taking over the bed. do you know how many times i go to sleep and feel one underneath my back?”

you had one more trick up your sleeve, one you knew quackity couldn’t resist. slowly you soften your eyes and give him your pleading puppy eyes.

“don't give me that look. no... NO! we made a deal you wouldn’t do this again, you know i can’t resist.”

he tries to break eye contact, feeling the intense burn of your stare on the side of his head.

“please? last one-” “fine! i can’t do anything now can i?” “nope!”

shaking his head, he pulls you into his lap, placing a kiss on the top of your head. 

“thank you baby”

quackity simply rolls his eyes playfully, knowing seeing your happiness over the small thing was more than worth the playful argument.

“anything for you”

an: i need to stop writing at 11 pm LOL

taglist: @somemothgoingferal @dilucs-cum-sock @kai-was-here @xoxothornbudoxox @b3l0v3ds @truthfulsyncerity @forutheworld @losingvienna @luluwinchester @cr0wbonezz-wr1ting-inc @dreamiewrites @a-simp-for-block-people @dysfunctionalcrab @ella-ivanov @akasuki @bioluminescentfrog @brainsanalysis @momo-has-a-gun @korylyzed @sleepysoupi @notgeoreg @ialexabsuniverse @disastrousdream​ @inniterhq​ @bugthegremlin​ @spoonz​ @god1ngs​ @sabinanotfound​ @stuffforreferences​ @crybabyjabby​ @twitchchatvroom​ @mack4676​ @esylwen​ @notphilosopherstudentblog​ @oh-mcyt​ @dirty-candie​ @ohhonk​ @chubbity @ttakinou @yoshirikuxd @dropkickedanorphaninselfdefense @mayhapskarlwillmarryme @cherios @fantasy-innit @lmfaosoph @honknap @strawberrymilkgeorge @w1lbursu1t @qnfs @a-fuckingsimp @queennightsetz

[tatney]

saw first time viewing livewatch thoughts

* adam is so transgender <3

* oh so the quality of my ill eagle copy isn’t that bad it’s just that the lights were off lol

* his name is lawrence gordon. he’s a DOCTOR

* mr elwes sir please stop mumbling my autistic ears cannot hear your

* MR FAULKNER STANHEIGHT IS A WHOWERE. WHY DID YOU SHOW HIM YOUR TIT

* aha lawrence is t posing :)

* adam. my widdle boy

* lawrence telling him to take his shirt off 👀

* GSMSHSKWYKSBSKSUWLHD JOHN IS SUCH A BITCH

* I KNOW EVERYONE IN THE FANDOM CALLS ADAM PATHETIC BUT GOD

* john mulaney hmm gross!.jpeg

* okay but i WOULD have checked under the toilet lid first. the things you’ll do for an older man 😔

* these two are so bad at playing catch. the kids who didn’t run the mile representation

* if i could see cary elwes’ eyebrows better i’d find him s*xier

* JOHN KRAMER I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF. I HATE THIS MAN I CANNOT STAND THIS MAN

* so the editing really IS like that huh

* yes he IS a murderer you stupid son of a bitch. there is no “technically” about it you fucking idiot

* we’ve got two bitches from lost my beloved :)

* THAT’S THE PRESIDENT FROM THE BLACKLIST TOO

* all of sing’s clothes are too big for him. small man :)

* MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY MANDY

* PLEASE GOD I LOVE HER I LOVE HER SO FUCKING MUCH I’LL CRY

* i knew that the editing was like THAT but not that MUCH ya know goddamn

* oh a giallo style shot. lov that <3

* MISS SHAWNEE SMITH DESERVES EVERY AWARD ACTUALLY

* motherfucker on his liddol tricycle

* i would piss on that fucking puppet

* futurama they must learn our peaceful ways by force.jpeg

* that’s just john’s vibe

* i wonder how much of saw inspired the batman arkham games thinking emoji

* how am i only half an hour way through

* tbh i want this kid’s duvet not kidding

* girl you in DANGER

* and i want that big snake :)

* HE’S NOT PLAYING THIS LITTLE PIGGY. NOT IN A MOVIE WHEREIN PEOPLE DON PIG MASKS BC THEIR REPRESENT REBIRTH AND PEOPLE ARE CONTINUOUSLY CUTTING THEIR FEET OFF. MR WHANNEL I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOU

* “she’s beautiful” he’s taking about the dog BSBNSYSLAYSLSBLSU

* “where’s the. uh lucky wife” and you mean to tell me that adam isn’t a homosexual when he looks at lawrence like that while saying this line

* “i’m always missing from the photos” oh sir i’ve been on saw tumblr just you wait for the dramatic irony to hit just you WAIT

* oh god i though jigsaw wrote a slur in there good GOD

* very billy from black christmas vibes, harold finch from person of interest :)

* excuse me mr tapp but who’s amy and why do you have her starbucks order

* OOOOOOOHHHH FUNKY TRANSITION

* james wan you are such a KING

* “who said anything about a warrant?” sir that’s illegal

* sir that’s breaking and entering

* sir that’s a LOT of paperwork that you won’t be able to complete bc you’ll be dead soon but STILL

* did jigsaw plan on lawrence wearing blue or was that a funny coincidence lol

* john’s wearing his bathrobe

* HIS ASSASSINS CREED BATHROBE HOLY SHIT

* ooh slidey door. wonder if there’ll be more of those later on teehee hoo hoo

* somebody show tapp the “that’s not your depression bed; that’s your nest omega” tiktok and see if that does anything

* “what do you want me to do? i’m on a leash” DOGBOY ADAM DOGBOY ADAM DOGBOY ADAM

* “you wanna put something in this room in your mouth?” “YES!!!!!!” are these lines from fanfiction verbatim

* adam you’re so fuckin stupid why would you spy on a man but keep the flash of your camera on

* OOOOOOOOOOH IT’S THE CINEMATIC PIG CARPARK SCENE

* “whatEVER” “i’m dealing with a juvenile.....” this is what happens when you have a sugar baby lawrence

* INFAMOUS ADAM GENDER SMOKING FAKE DEATH BREAKDANCE SCENE LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO

* little dogboy twink photographers have me in a perpetual chokehold they really do

* i mean he’ll waste a lot of film but. okay i guess this is a horror movie after all gsmshsksynbsmahsp

* BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR GAY LITTLE PUPPET WITH MY BAT

* oh adam really is serving jonathan byers teas with the baseball bat and the camera as weapons. fuck

* cary elwes posh little accent coming THROUGH

* adam doesn’t make sense as cis man. he just doesn’t look at that man he’s so transgender

* ok but lawrence’s “mistress” is GORGEOUS actually omg

* i’m still gonna say that he’s gay tho. u can’t take that away form me lol

* adam’s wrists are so LIMP holy shit

* lawrence gordon classist moments

* mr elwes please control your accent sir i’m struggling not to laugh

* ok ally’s a girlboss then !

* michael emerson my beloved. when you try to be evil you have all the menace of a disgruntled bunny rabbit

* “lawrence get up! i need you!” now when you fuckers told me these two were gay you didn’t say THIS gay

* at least ally and diana are ok :)

* ok my headcanon is that lawrence is originally from england but was moved to america as a kid bc i need in contextual reasons for all of the accent slips that i can’t take seriously

* ADAM GIRLBOSS MOMENT

* “don’t worry i’ll bring someone back i promise” YOU LYING TRICK ASS MOTHERFUCKER I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF /j /affectionate

* at least john’s got that ARCH

* IT’S THE SCENE IT’S THE SCENE

* god that movie fucked. that movies fucked SO hard good god no wonder gay people love it

* ok i think that ill league gull copy broke my laptop lol

[wangshuus]

delicacy | diluc ragnvindr

pairing: yan!diluc ragnvindr/gn!reader

genre: psychological

cw: unhealthy relationship, mentions of forced marriage, ooc diluc (lol)

wc: 2.6k

summary: to diluc, you are a delicacy that he wishes to savour.

note: i’m sorry in advance my dear readers this is absolute dog water ajfhaiufhfui. this was just an experiment since i don’t think i’ve written a decent yandere ever and this kinda proves it but it’s ok i’ll get there one day. just take my ooc diluc. yes, i know i screwed up real bad on this one but let's just say i loosened a few screw for the sake of the plot,,,yeah,,,i’ll probably need to proof read this again too but its ok ahhhhh.

“It’s useless to keep tugging at those binds. You know they won’t come off unless I take them off myself. Now, be good and sit still.” You heard a familiar voice. 

It was once a voice that you were delighted to hear but now the very mention of the owner sent a wave of striking cold upon your body, ironic considering who it was. You had no idea where you were, what day it was, or what time it was. You were completely clueless, being stuck in a dark room with nothing but a bed in which you’ve been bound by the headboard. The room was concerningly chilly, the air in the room being crisp, cold and suffocating. The figure in the room made their way to the edge of the bed next to sit next to you. You felt a gloved hand place itself upon your cheek. It was so warm you almost wanted to lean into it but you refused to find comfort in the touch of your detainer.

You were but a simple bartender, loyal to working at the famous Angel’s Share in Mondstadt. You previously resided in Springvale with your parents but moved to the city due to your job. Your family lived a happy little life, not drowning in riches but being comfortable enough to sustain a plausible living. In your head, you were so painfully boring; so here lies the question, how exactly did you get into this situation? Not even you knew the answer but one thing that you could make sense of in the whole ordeal was that the main that stood in front of you was mad.

Diluc Ragnvindr has many titles ranging from the renowned owner of the Dawn Winery to one of Mondstadt’s most esteemed bachelors. He claimed such a high and mighty reputation that no one would’ve guessed the devious intents hidden in the back of his head. Yes, you were a mere bartender that worked under him at his own tavern but ever since you were hired, he felt something stirring up within him. Now you see, Diluc wasn’t someone that you would find chasing after anyone in fact, he’s never chased after anyone at all until he met you. He was confused at first why he started feeling the way that he did when you were around, unfamiliar emotions began to bubble inside of him.

You were just so easy to talk to, so charming, so comforting, a breath of fresh air to him, truly. At first, he assumed it would be nothing but a short lived infatuation, expecting for his feeling to dissipate like a dying flame in a matter of time but this flame only burned bigger, brighter, and belligerent as the days passed. Diluc wasn’t exactly sure how his feelings came to be. Perhaps it was due to the loss, betrayal and tragedy that stained his past. Maybe it was his longing to be loved again, to hold someone close and never let go, or to have someone hold him and allow him to bask in the feeling of being lovingly embraced-- which was a feeling that became painfully foreign to him.

It had been so long since he found comfort in anything or anyone, becoming accustomed to being isolated, building up walls to keep everyone out and away. He had no one left to care for and presumably no one left to care for him, making the pyro wielder take on such an aloof personality. After his whole ordeal, he was never truly the same, so to see him look genuinely pleased by someone was such a shock to the public eye. Of course, you had come to enjoy Diluc’s presence as he stopped by the tavern fairly often to check up on the flow of business and you had the chance to talk to him during his visits. You had heard from others that the young man was awfully reserved and indifferent towards any subject matter but he was seemingly interested in any conversation between the two of you, even partaking in the act of idle-chit chat as a means to continue talking to you. Anything for you.

He was greatly enamoured by you; everything about you. He’s taken every second he could to observe you and your nature, falling in love with the little things about you from the way you brightened up the room with your cheerful demeanour, the way you gracefully made your way across the tavern during, the way your eyes twinkled when you were talking about him about something you loved--archons the way he wished for you to only look at him with those eyes full of an enthusiastic sparkle. He wanted that; and he wanted it all for himself. Once he realized this was the case, he went through a spiralling hole of madness. He found himself being obsessive with looking out for you, going above and beyond by following you in the shadows every chance he could get, his self control on his possessiveness running as thin as a strand of hair. 

Diluc was scary to say the least. His ability to deceive people into thinking he was still the reserved yet distinguished gentleman while he was falling into a pit of insanity was nothing short of terrifying. He remained unsuspecting and planned to keep it that way, deeming himself capable of being able to resist his maniacal urges. All until one conversation between the two. You had mentioned that your family had begun to run into a few financial problems, becoming entangled in a circle of debt. You had concluded that though you loved what you were doing, it couldn’t have been enough to support your situation so you had conversed with Diluc about going to Liyue to find extra work. All you knew was that there was a high chance you couldn’t stay grounded at the tavern forever, even rejecting Diluc’s offer of a raise, deeming that you didn’t deserve it and did not wish to trouble him. You saw this as a good opportunity to explore beyond the land of the wind that you had ironically been grounded at your entire life. 

Oh no no no, this couldn’t happen. He wouldn’t allow it to happen. And that’s when he snapped. 

Diluc’s mind worked quickly as he devised a dubious plan to keep you grounded. He knew what you were like; he knew you would be stubborn and go. He saw that shine of determination in your eyes when you mentioned your plans of fleeing Mondstadt, the same shine that he wanted to capture and keep for himself and oh boy, he was gonna have it. The next time you saw him, he had personally invited you to a party that he said he was hosting. You found it quite surprising since it was a rarity for him to ever host a party considering his nature but you accepted nonetheless. You trusted Diluc enough and besides, who would deny an invitation from someone like him. Little did you know, this was quite possibly one of the worst decisions you’ve made in your entire life.

“Dear, you’re spacing out again.” He spoke, a foreign tone that sounded so sickly sweet to a point where you wanted to hurl. 

“Please don’t address me as such. You’re twisted for doing this. What do you even want from me? Huh? I can’t offer you anything so this is nothing but a waste of time.” You spat at him, harshly pulling your cheek away from his grasp. 

“Your presence alone is enough to satisfy me. Also, I’d appreciate it if you stopped acting disobedient before I really lose my patience. I’ve been so patient with you, do you know that? I’ve been waiting for ages to have you all to myself like this but…” He paused for a moment.

“I was far too nice and considerate of your freedom. To think I’d let you leave just like that is absurd. That’s exactly why you’re here. I’d like to apologize in advance for tricking you into thinking there was an actual party, especially since you got all dressed up for me tonight but I believe this is quite the positive thing because now I’m the only one that gets to see you like this” He said as he gently lifted up a piece of fabric from your clothing.

“You wore the clothing I had custom made for you. I knew you would look ravishing in it. You’re my pretty little doll, aren’t you dear?” He said as he brought a piece up to his lips as they gently graced the smooth satin of your outfit. 

A strange package had made its way to your doorstep days before this treacherous evening. When opening it up, it was revealed to be a black and red outfit made of what felt like to be the finest fabrics and silk you’ve ever seen. The first time you tried it on, you felt ecstatic with being gifted to you, blushing to yourself over the fact that Diluc had gone out of his way to get you something this stunning. Now, you wanted nothing more than to rip the thing off your body and run away from the damned place you were held captive but you knew it was no use at this point. Your body shivered at the coldness of the room as it felt like the sheer cold was steadily increasing.

“You’re shivering. You’re cold aren’t you?” Diluc said, having the audacity to chuckle at your pathetic state. You stayed quiet, not wanting to admit or give into anything.

“No response? Oh well, it’ll only be a matter of time until the possibility of freezing to death becomes exceptionally high. I’d rather not have that happen so I’ll do you a favour since you happen to be a little shy isn’t that right? You don’t need to be shy with me. Come here.” He says as he draws closer to you. Your chains rattled while you attempted to put as much distance as you could between you two but it was no use. He swiftly wrapped his arms around you, one hand wrapped around your waist, the other at the back of your head, pulling you into the crook of his neck. Your hands pushed against his chest in a poor attempt to put as much distance between you and him but in the end, you couldn't bring yourself to. The coldness of the room significantly weakened you although it ceased when he held you, his body warmth being enough for him and yourself as well. You cursed the pyro wielder and his antics. He knew that you’d be freezing, seeing this as the perfect opportunity to get closer to you. Your arms fell back on to you sides 

“There you go, all relaxed now. See, nice and warm.” He cooed while stroking the back of your head lovingly. Although you were physically warm now, you still felt a shiver run down your spine at the touch of the pyro user.

“You’re sensitive to touch, how cute.” He stated before pulling away to look you in the eyes, the edges of his lips slightly upturned.

“On another note, I have some news to share with you.” He spoke out. Your eyebrows furrowed at the mention of more news, thinking there is no possible way that anything could get any worse; unfortunately, you were dead wrong.

“You see, I had the chance to speak with your parents the other day in regards to your financial situation. I explained to them that I was more than willing to help them but they became quite stubborn after I introduced my offer. I see where you get your stubbornness from now.” He sighed.

Your eyes widened, fear, anger and concern mixing in your (e/c) orbs. 

“Diluc, I swear to the archons what did you--.” He brought a finger up to your lips to hush you from your growing concern. 

“Hush now, there’s no need to get riled up, I’m not finished. Now quiet down and listen to me.” He stated.

“It was quite a simple offer I gave them, really. I would be a financial aid all in exchange for your hand in marriage. They started to get all defensive, claiming that they’d never marry off their child. They were oh so protective over you, but they could never come close to comparing to me.”

Dread and horror filled your eyes as you were rendered speechless, waves of unpleasant emotions washing over you like a tidal wave. 

“You see, it definitely took a lot of work to get where we are now, but you need not to worry, dear. They will not be of any concern to us anymore.” He said as a smile graced his features. You would’ve considered him to be handsome in the moment but the smile he held was so deranged that it was appalling. 

Tears welled up in your eyes, too afraid to even ask what happened to them or what became of them. You knew the situation; you knew the power that Diluc held. He was well aware of his looming power of you and he used it and abused it. It didn’t take very long for your tears to start streaming from your eyes as you began to sob, tears spilling onto your lap. Diluc cupped your face as he brushed away the oncoming tears that continued to overflow. 

“Shhh, don’t cry my dear, this news is excellent. I couldn't even fathom you getting hurt or even leaving me but I don’t have to worry now do I? Because you’re going to be all mine.” He said before forcibly kissing your tear-stained cheeks. 

You felt absolutely disgusting and embarrassed over the lips that graced your skin, having someone as unhinged and deranged as him seeing you in such a vulnerable and helpless state. 

“You know, I’ve had my fair share of people both leave and betray me.They’ve left me alone in this world but none of it matters now that I have you here. You’re the most divine person I’ve come across. So lovely, so warm, and so bright, like the rays of sunlight. I want to bask in your presence and now, I can for however long I’d like. I refuse to lose anyone else, especially not you and now this time, I know I won’t. If your freedom has to be sacrificed in order for you to stay alive, so be it. I’ll choose you the finest white attire for our special day. You’ll be me precious darling for the rest of your days. Doesn’t that sound lovely, dear?” You remained unresponsive.

One of his hands slipped past the fabric of your clothing as his gloved fingertips lightly pressed onto the bare small of your back, earning a yelp from you.

“I said doesn’t that sound lovely? Respond when spoken to. I want to hear your voice.” He said sternly. You managed to mumble out a small yes in return.

“That’s my good little darling.” He spoke before before he pulled you in for a kiss. You refused to return the action and it certainly didn’t go over his head. The hand that rested on the small of your back began to get hotter, feeling as if it was searing your skin, earning a shriek and a cry from you, allowing him to deepen his passion filled kiss, smirking at the way you’ve decided to submit yourself to him while his own lips remained locked with your own.

The land of Mondstadt was said to be the land of freedom and yet here you were, your fate bound and chained by the insanity disguised as love by Diluc Ragnvindr. You were a delicacy to him, and he’d be sure to savour every last bit of you. 

[fangirlfics]

Westview p2 (Peter Maximoff x reader)

this is the funniest gif and you can’t change my mind 

summary: Peter explains Westview to y/n and attempts to bring her memory back

whenever I write Westview I find myself thinking I meant to write Westeros lol

word count: 1,470

“You’re telling me that Wanda, my best friend is mind controlling an entire town and gave me false memories?“ y/n asked the silver haired boy in front of her. “And they tell me I’m crazy...“

“I’m being serious.“ ‘Pietro’ tried, “you’re smart and you already know somethings off, right?“

“I’m sorry?“

“This-“ Peter gestured around the room before lowering his voice, “doesn’t feel right does it? It feels fake, staged. I know you feel it too-”

“I-” 

“And don’t say you don’t-I can tell when you’re lying, you scrunch up your nose.“

“How could you possibly know that? We’ve just met!“

Peter sighed “I have to figure out how to reverse this...I don’t look familiar to you at all?“ y/n shook her head.

“Ok..“ Peter stared at the girl "your favorite color is (insert color), your favorite ice cream flavor is (flavor) and your favorite song is (song name). You can control people with your mind when you touch them, but sometimes you do it on accident when you get emotional and your eyes turn purple and it scares some people but I’m not gonna lie I kinda like-.” 

“What are you talking about?” y/n asked, “that’s ridiculous! I-”

Peter didn’t listen as he continued further down his list. “We’ve been dating for two years but we’ve known each other for half of our lives, your middle name is-”

“Why do you know so much about me?“

“I told you I know you, your favorite book is-“

“Just stop..talking!“ y/n suddenly called out taking a step back-she felt a small surge of some feeling and suddenly Peter stopped talking, his mouth kept running but no noise escaped it. He put his hands to his mouth and y/n looked away-Peter began to talk again. 

“See you just-“

“You’re playing with me, cut it out!“   

“y/n I swear on my stash of twin-“

The back door opened and closed abruptly making the two adults flinch. “Sorry..” Wanda apologized making a cringed facial expression, “Agnes kept me there longer than I’d expect, you know her she’s such a gossss.ip..” She froze seeing how Peter was all up in y/n’s face. “Gee I’m gone for not even 10 minutes and you’re already all over her!” She walked up to the two, putting a hand on y/n’s shoulder to escort her out of the kitchen, “come on, don’t pay attention to Pietro or he’ll go chasing after you!” She turned to her ‘brother’ waving an accusing finger at him, “and you back off of my friend, she’s barely spent a day in this town.”

“What?” y/n asked, catching Wanda’s words quickly.

Wanda’s face fell but only for a moment because she soon was her smiling self again, “I said you’ve barely spent a day with him!” She laughed, “come on, let’s go get the boys and head out!”

From behind Wanda y/n noticed Peter gesture to his head then make a hand motion by wiggling his fingers around. 

 It felt like the day had moved on rather quickly, with the boys finishing their trick or treating and then Wanda disappearing then claiming to have never left, the walk back felt like the only normal part of the day. y/n hadn’t even seen Vision until she got back to Wanda’s house to drop off the costume she had lent her, he seemed like something had been bothering him and was in the kitchen while Wanda wasn’t home yet having continued to roam the neighborhood with her sons unlike y/n-who decided to call it a night.

She was just about to leave the house, having changed into a normal outfit when a random thought had crossed her mind. “Hey Vis-” she turned around, jumping at the sight of Wanda’s husband who was standing directly in front of her. Half her name had just came out of his mouth too as he froze. “Yeah?” She asked her friend’s husband.

“Terribly sorry,” he apologized, “but if I could just-” he reached his finger’s towards her face, making her furrow her eyebrows until his fingertips lightly touched her temples and suddenly everything came flooding back at once. 

She froze for a second before looking around the house to take in her surroundings, “where’s-what? I-” Vision watched her, not knowing how to respond to her increasing anxiety. “She was in my head..” She told Vison.

“Who was?”

“Wanda!” y/n looked around again, “she’s in everyone’s head, she’s controlling everyth-Peter! I have to find Peter! That’s why I’m here, that’s why I came-”

“y/n please calm down,” he reached out again to place his fingers against her temples once more and she put her hands up in defense,

“No! I’m not doing that again, your wife is crazy! Stay away from me!”

“I don’t understand, why would she take an entire town hostage?”

“Because she needs therapy of something, now I’ve got to go-”

“y/n-”

“Oh and one more thing...” y/n said looking Vision in the eyes, she took his forearm before adding in a hushed voice, “forget this conversation happened.” He blinked blankly before sitting down and reaching for the tv controller. “Well goodnight y/n, thank you again for accompanying Wanda and the kids.” He said as if nothing happened. 

“No problem.” y/n said with a fake smile before leaving the house, she was going to look for Peter. Closing the door she jumped once more at the sight of Wanda and her sons, “Wanda! I-”

“Oh you just dropped the costume off didn’t you?” Wanda asked enthusiastically, “thank you! I was just going to bed!”

“Yeah me too.” y/n lied, “all that walking really tired me out.” 

“Yes me too, well you should come over in the morning we’re making waffles!”

“Ok yeah, thank you.”

“Thank you, the boys loved your company and I did too!” Wanda smiled, “see you later!”    

“Yeah, later...“

After Wanda and the boys said their goodbyes and the door closed behind them y/n dashed across the grass, ready to get back to her ‘house’. From there she could look for her walkie talkie and look for Peter. A million thoughts were running through her mind on her way to her fake house. Where was Peter? Why wasn���t he with Wanda? Did something happen? How was she going to find him in this town? Would she still be able to contact Hank? She unlocked her door-pushing it open and letting it’s knob bang loudly against the wall. She was about to shut the door when a blue streak appeared with Peter in front of it, he was no longer in his Halloween costume-instead he was sporting the same look he had this morning. The only difference was that he didn’t appear as energetic-instead he looked worn and his eyes were sad-something that was quite unusual for the boy. 

“Look...” he said putting his hands in front of him, “just hear me out, ok I just realized that showing up at your house might come off as creepy but I promise I-” y/n quickly scanned the street area behind him before reaching for his arm and pulling him into her house-slamming the door shut. “Whoa, I did not expect-” 

“I remember!” y/n announced. “Vision-he did this weird-”   

“You remember me?“ Peter asked her, “what’s my favorite color?“

“Obviously silver.“

“Favorite band?“

“Pete, it’s me.“ She assured him, bringing her hands to his face. After realizing she was really back and without the fear of being unrecognized, Peter threw his arms around the girl, pulling her into the longest and tightest hug she had ever gotten.”Hey it’s me. I’m here.” y/n whispered, running her fingers through his hair.

“You have no idea how much you scared me.“ 

y/n backed up, her face softening even more at the sight of her loving boyfriend, “Peter why are you crying?“ She asked him, brushing her thumb over his newly escaped tear.

“Someone must be cutting onions...“ He joked, but y/n didn’t laugh. “I-I still don’t understand this whole illusion thing...“ he began to explain, still not letting go of y/n. “and I didn’t know if your memories were just being messed with or if you were brainwashed and I..“   

“What?“

“You didn’t even recognize me, it was like...you’re the most important thing in my life and you just looked right through me and I-“ he started getting choked up again, “I didn’t know if it was going to be permanent and you were just never going to remember me...“

“Oh Peter, no, of course not. I’m never forgetting you-not even the world’s most powerful mutant can make me forget you.“

“Didn’t seem like that.“ He laughed nervously.

“Peter, I’m here.“

[wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse]

Clear Waters (Fili x Fem!Reader)

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2069

A/N ok so I do not like this one as much and also it is veryyy long for me so that's also why. For this one, it is kind of open-ended and I still have not decided who it's for lol, It could be Thorin, Fili, Kili, or Bilbo. Who knows, even Dwalin or bombur. I lovvve being indecisive. so have a surprise and let me know if you have any requests. Enjoy xx

The water swept over me, my muscles taut with strain, but I felt freer than ever. The water was icy, but it soothed me. Muscle memory taught me to savor the moment from when I jumped in the water to when I clambered back on the boat. A few stray waves hit me, rolling me over a bit. I let them roll me, facing upwards towards the sky. I sighed. Bard would be back soon, and he would want me to help him with whatever he had today. Of course, I was more than willing to help. After all, he is the one that brings me out in these waters and lets me have time to myself. I began to swim to our meeting place, one that we both had memorized. I let my body relax, the tendrils of kelp trying to keep me from going back. I willed myself forward, but to what? More scoffing at my ideas, more remarking on how I am not married yet. But I had to.

The waves began to swell, and I smiled. Bard was here to pick me up. Of course, he did the old trick of pretending to almost run me over. I laughed at his antics, he rarely was ever humorous anymore. I hoisted myself up the side of the boat, sopping wet when I realized that he had company. I looked at Bard, who shrugged.

"Lass, you could have drowned! What are ye doing?" A crowd of what looked like 14 dwarves stood before me. They were all staring incredulously, obviously, they did not expect someone to be swimming in these waters.

"I'm just going for my daily swim of course. Did you actually think Bard was going to hit me? You have so little faith in your ferry it seems." I  wrung out my hair over the side of the boat. My explanation did not seem to suit them, but they dropped the subject fairly quickly.

"Now might I ask, who are you?" a voice said quietly. I looked up and faced a dwarf, no, a hobbit who looked very out of place.

"I am y/n, from Laketown. And who are you? It looks like you are a halfling unless my eyes deceive me," I responded.

He fidgeted a bit. He was obviously very uncomfortable. "Yes yes, that's me. Bilbo Baggins." He scooted back to the other side of the boat. An odd character he seems, out of place. Why was he here? I turned back around, tired from all the swimming. I met the eyes of some of the other dwarves. Two of them had a very mischievous look in them. Some were more somber. But one of them caught my eyes. He looked like he was the leader of all of them, even if he did not say anything. He had that air of authority to his figure. I caught his eye, trying to figure out what these dwarves were doing here, but his face did not give anything I way. I leaned my head back against the boat. Breath in, breath out. Slowly my eyes closed, letting slumber take over my willing body.

--------time change hehe--------

Bard shook me awake, motioning to the barrels that were now filled with fish. How long was I asleep for? I shook the last tendrils of sleep off me, and clumsily grabbed one of the barrels. I poured it onto the deck where Bard was pouring one, and a redheaded dwarf rolled out unceremoniously. I gave Bard a questioning look, but he motioned to stay quiet. Well, a time for everything I suppose.

Once we had poured out all the fish, dwarves included, I was free to go. But, after all, I am a nosy person, so I decided to go with Bard. For some reason we had to sneak the dwarves into his house, were they fugitives of some sort? Well, no matter who they were, they were picky, with everything. The weapons Bard offered were "not good enough". Everything seemed to pass by in a blurry haze. Clearly, I needed more sleep. I noticed one of the dwarves seemed to be in pain, clearly trying to hide it. I ventured a bit closer, but Bard called for me to help him with something.

The night approached quickly, and these dwarves were very somber. I walked up to one of them, the oldest one. "Might I ask what is going on here? Everything that I have ever heard about dwarves is that they are jovial, and I have rarely ever seen anyone this quiet," I spoke quietly, not wanting to draw attention to my confusion.

"Well lass, we are not here to stay, and we are a bit behind schedule. Everyone is just a bit tense, as this is very important for everyone," the dwarf said vaguely. "You're y/n aren't ye."

"Yes, that's me. And who are you?"

"Balin son of Fundin. It is a pleasure to meet you. Now I see you are a bit fiercer than the rest and I would like to know if there is an armory here where we can get weapons from. If you do not wish to help, that is fine. However, I can tell you want adventure. Make up your mind soon." He walked away to get some food, leaving me with my mouth wide open. How could he know? How does he know that I hate this place, that I want to leave on journeys? I would drill him about that later, but for now, I must help them.

I murmured some of the plans to Bilbo, who told Balin. Everyone else came to know, and the minute Bard would leave we would be off. Bard would not be happy with me, but I don't care. It's about high time I had something to do other than sitting around or swimming. I needed an escape. As we were all eating, talking amongst ourselves, I noticed Bard hurriedly whisper something to his son and slip out the door, unnoticed by everyone.

I yawned, "Well I think I will be heading off to bed. It was lovely meeting you all." I met all of their eyes, lingering on some for longer. I still noticed the younger dwarf hiding his pain, but I could do nothing at the moment. I left the house and down the stairs, waiting. After about five minutes I heard grumbling from the rest of the dwarves. I motioned for them to stay quiet and quickly led the way. I showed them the window that they could enter once we reached the armory.

"This is the only way in without alerting guards. Be quiet. If anyone of you makes a noise, it is over. I will leave once you get in unless there is anything else I can help you with," I said hopefully. I still wished to leave this dreadful town.

Thorin, the dwarf in charge, muttered some orders to the rest of them and then turned wearily back to me. "We are in your debt. Thank you for helping us," he said grudgingly, in a deep gravelly voice.

I nodded my head and left them, turning around a corner. I stopped though, for I heard them saying something.

"She would have been of use to us. Clearly, she knows a way out of here and we don't." I heard one of the dwarves arguing. I could not tell which one.

"No, she would only hinder us. She is soft, she has never left this village, she would only be a burden." I heard Thorin say gruffly. He wasn't necessarily wrong, but they underestimated me. I could handle a sword, and I would not hesitate in killing orcs. But if I showed myself, they would all not trust me. So I stayed hidden.

"Uncle you don't know that. Besides, think of what use a human might be. They perceive things in different ways sometimes. There's something about her. She would help us, I know she would." The other dwarf spoke.

Hmmm, which ones were his nephews. I thought the injured one was his only relative, but clearly, I was wrong. The injured one's voice was not as resonant as the one that was speaking. I accidentally shuffled a bit, and their voices grew quieter. I could no longer hear them, but it was nice to know that someone wanted me there. All of a sudden there was a huge crashing of metal and a couple of thumps. I fled the scene, knowing that I could not get caught with them. Everyone already was wary of me, I would hate to make things worse for myself.

I heard the shouting of guards as I ran, far enough away that I knew I wouldn't be caught. The town center, that was where they would be brought. I took some shortcuts, so hopefully, I could see them alright. Everything passed by in my anxiety-induced haze. If they mentioned me at all, I was well, screwed. I vaguely heard Thorin shout something, and everyone cheering, but I was mostly looking at the dwarves' faces and made sure they were alright.

Balin looked a bit concerned, and the youngest one was still trying to hide his pain, but everyone else looked joyous. I smiled looking at them. It was the first time I had seen them in a good mood. One of them looked right at me, he was blonde, and he looked younger. I think he might have been the one talking about me. I waved and he dipped his head in acknowledgment.

Everyone was busy celebrating that they were going to the lonely mountain, but I mostly wanted to check on the hurt dwarf. Kili I think his name is. But before I could reach them, the crowd pressed in. Drinks were brought out and I could barely move without bumping into someone. It got harder to breathe. I began taking quicker breathes, trying to push my way out of the pandemonium. My ears were ringing because it was so loud. Finally, I managed to get out, and I sat against one of the stalls, leaning my head back against it. Footsteps approached me, slowly, and I turned my head.

"They are going to bring doom to us all," Bard said hoarsely. "But all anyone wants is gold. Greedy things we are. It makes me almost sick to watch this. Do you want me to walk you back to your house or are you fine on your own?"

"I think I'll be alright for tonight Bard, thank you though. Goodnight." I replied back.

I closed my eyes for a second, listening to the laughter, beer slopping down the sides of mugs, something I have not heard in a long time. It is odd to miss things like this, especially when you don't realize you miss them. Some more footsteps approached me, but quicker, with a skip to them.

"My Lady," the dwarf said, bowing his head.

I smiled in return. "I am certainly no lady. And remind me, which one are you?"

"Ah, but you look like a lady to me. I am Fili, nephew of Thorin. Why are you sitting down when there are festivities to be had?"

"A gentleman does not ask a lady such questions." I retorted.

He gave a sly chuckle, "I thought you aren't a lady."

I laughed, not expecting this from him. But it was funny nonetheless. "Well, you have me there. Now tell me everything about this quest. I am keen to be on one myself and I would love to hear it all."

So Fili told me everything. Where he was born, why he wanted to go, everything. Obviously, some of the ale he drank was at work, seeming to make him more flamboyant than he usually might be. But it was amusing and laughter ensued.

When the music died down and people began to head home, Fili wrapped up his exaggerated tale.

"It was lovely to meet you Fili. I wish you the best of luck on your quest." I said softly. "Please try not to wake the dragon."

He chucked. "It was lovely to meet you as well y/n."

I waved him farewell and walked back to my house. It was always good to meet new people, especially these dwarves. They seemed like they could be so happy if they tried. Well, it is time to settle in for the night.

[iwaisa]

request. trynna think of a request for u rn 🧏‍♀️ how ab tsukki w a best friend who’s so grade conscious bc ppl have high expectations of them n one day she breaks down bc she b afraid of failure n he’s like .......ok ill comfort them bc theyre my best friend but im also secretly in love w them trope😝 definitrly not because this reminds me of a certain someone who is not myself and i definitrly dont need to hear this😭 - @tsukisemi​

a/n. sue you are a GENIUS I LOVE YOU AND YOUR BIG BRAIN. i absolutely adore best friends to lovers/childhood friends to lovers tropes they make me so happy ugh once again THANK YOU

► now playing...

- pairing. tsukishima x female reader (pronouns not specifically stated, but there is ma’am lol)

- warnings. make out session! lol oops. suggestive content

- word count. 1.8k+

it was a friday evening, and you found yourself studying at kei tsukishima’s house. again. no matter how many times you tried to convince him to do other things while hanging out in the warmth of his bedroom, he always insisted that academics came before baking and movies.

the two of you have been friends since your last year of junior high, after yamaguchi was too busy looking up at his tall companion to realize another figure was about to collide with him. the two of you made contact with the ground, before jumping up to apologize quickly.

tsukishima found himself instantly infatuated with you - you were gorgeous. your breathtaking eyes, the way your school uniform seemed to fit just perfectly, the way he imagined your smaller hands and fingers slotting in between his - he was absolutely intrigued. yamaguchi would say love at first sight, the taller male would call him ridiculous.

the three of you instantly clicked, with you and yamaguchi being the more talkative ones of the trio. tsukishima acted as a parental figure, scolding you two constantly for doing things you weren’t supposed to.

upon overhearing a conversation with sensei that you would be heading to karasuno for high school - the same place tsukishima and yamaguchi were planning on going - he let out a breath he never knew he was holding in. he continued listening to sensei urging you to plan on going somewhere more academic based - like shiratorizwa or fukurōdani. you put it simply that you would rather go somewhere more balanced. sensei was hesitant before he approved of your plans.

you had always been good at doing homework and classwork, but you weren’t so good at taking tests. they intimidated you, making you worry that you would end up receiving something lower than a B+. tsukishima and yamaguchi knew of course, since the two of you held frequent study sessions at each others’ houses. this tradition carried on even when the three of you made it into karasuno, just not as frequently due to the boys’ volleyball practices.

today, however, yamaguchi was helping yachi teach kageyama and hinata english since tsukishima blatantly refused. the two of you headed back to his house, and instantly began flipping through your textbooks. he was quietly scribbling words and numbers on his papers, seemingly flying through assignments. you were sat on his bed, stuck on one section in particular.

“why the hell is ap chemistry so hard?” you sighed, scratching your scalp. tsukishima turned his head to see you rubbing your eyes, which adorned deep blue bags underneath. he sighed, putting his pencil down as he walked to sit on the edge of the bed alongside you. he looked over your shoulder, reading the complex chemical equations. “you know this one, l/n. you got it.” 

you shook your head quickly, “no, i don’t tsukki. i have no idea what i’m doing and sensei literally didn’t even teach us this. see, this is why i’m glad i didn’t end up going to an academy because this would be ten times harder. i hate that people are always assuming i can handle this with ease. i can’t.” you finished, blinking back tears.

tsukishima sighed, rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses before readjusting them to focus on the question. he began rubbing his finger over the numbers, slowly explaining each process. you were surprised he was being kind, but you didn’t want to take this soft moment for granted. you simply nodded your head, hurriedly scribbling down what he was saying in your notebook.

“tell you what,” he turned, looking into your eyes. “if you can do these next four questions by yourself, i’ll give you something i’ve been meaning to for a while.” you tilted your head, “tsukki, my birthday was months ago.” he chuckled, getting up to sit in his chair, which was now facing you. “i’m aware.” the two of you stared at each other for a while, before you turned your attention back to your textbook.

using tsukishima’s explanations and whatever strategies you learned from sensei, you flew through two of the questions with ease, getting stuck on the third one. tsukishima explained once more, telling you to use a different equation for the next two. you nodded, finally understanding.

the next two questions were hard to figure out, but you finally got through them. you placed your pencil in between the crease of the pages, looking up to tsukisima expectedly. when he didn’t move, you were confused. did he just trick you into doing homework?

tsukishima gulped, attempting to calm his erratic heart and shaky legs. was he ready for this? no, he wasn’t. but even as yamaguchi said; he’s been putting this off for long enough. he knew he liked you, but had no idea just what to do about it. he knew he would be jeopardizing your friendship in some way, but tsukishima couldn’t deny that he wanted some sort of affectionate skinship to happen between the two of you.

he released his lower lip from his teeth before shaking his head. he stood up, walking towards you with slight hesitation. he plopped himself next to you, your shoulders brushing against each other. tsukishima lifted his glasses off his nose before leaning forward, pressing a quick peck to your lips.

your mouth fell open, and your eyes widened more than you believed they ever could. your face exploded with heat, and you began spewing out incoherent words. he stood up, returning to his seat. “tsukki?” you asked in disbelief. “yes?” he responded, seemingly unphased. “w-what was that?” he watched you run your middle and forefinger over your lips, “my gift.” your jaw dropped open once more, earning a rare chuckle from your blond friend. or maybe, not a friend anymore.

“if you finish the next four questions, i’ll give you another one. if you want,” his last words were muffled by the back of his hand. you smiled at the sight; tsukishima, the most stoic boy you’ve ever met, was embarrassed. nonetheless, you were going to earn another kiss from your friend, not to mention the boy you’ve been in love with for the past two years.

you were quick to pick up your pencil, reading the questions as quickly as possible. “and don’t rush either, idiot,” tsukishima jested. you stuck your tongue out at him, feeling your heart flutter as he let out a soft chuckle.

you made sure to complete each question thoroughly, wondering if you would get extra points for doing more work. tsukishima stood over your figure, eyes scanning over each question. he pointed at one, “the equation was right, but check your calculations again.” you sighed, turning back to the book. 

tsukishima bent over, pressing a light kiss atop your head, making you jolt in surprise. he staggered back holding his chin, and you stood up waving your hands frantically. he held his hand up to stop your word-vomit, letting a light chuckle escape his lips.

you pressed your lips in a line, sitting back down. you began calculating the equation once more, finally coming up with the right answer. “there you go. see? you only have four questions left now.” you lifted your chin expectedly, watching him squat in front of you. you pursed your lips as he began to lean in, pressing teasing kisses to both of your cheeks. you groaned in annoyance, before sandwiching his face in between your palms. “stop teasing,” you muttered sternly. “yes ma’am,” he joked, finally closing the distance between you two.

this kiss was a tad bit more passionate, the two of you moving your lips together excitedly. it would’ve been a make out session, if tsukishima had not pulled away with a grin. “last four questions.” he smirked at you before standing up, returning to his chair once more.

these questions were possibly the worst. there were multiple equations in each separate question, and it left you wondering why someone would ever want to major in chemistry. tsukishima watched your face contort into borderline anger, your lower lip between your teeth. he swiftly stood up, placing himself next to you on the bed. he reached his arm around you, rubbing circles into your lower back as you continued writing the wrong equations.

“here,” he spoke up finally, removing the pencil from your grasp. he began writing in a clear fashion which numbers were to be plugged in where, and it finally clicked for you. he glanced at your profile, watching your mouth fall open. he smiled to himself as he watched you solve the equations with ease, his hand never leaving your back.

you finally finished, looking up at the blond with long-awaited anticipation. “you’re eager,” he whispered, his eyes becoming soft. his gaze flickered between yours and your plush lips - the one’s he’s been waiting to feel on his for so long. and the feeling wasn’t disappointing. they felt amazing, and he was on cloud nine. a little voice that sounded like yamaguchi resonated in tsukishima’s head saying, “finally.”

the two of you began moving forward at a slow pace, until you gripped onto his shirt pulling him into you to finally close the gap. this kiss was definitely not like the last ones. this one was ferocious; two pining friends finally earning exactly what they’ve been patiently waiting for. 

tsukishima’s right hand made its way to your hip, prompting you to lay down. he hovered over you, not once pulling away. your tongue brushed against the seam of his lips, and he eagerly allowed your tongue to meet his. your hands began roaming, feeling tsukishima’s pecs. they slowly moved down to his abs, which were rock-solid, much to your surprise.

you gasped as he pulled away to press open-mouthed kisses on your jawline, moving down to your neck. your hands gripped his hair as he sucked on a particular spot that elicited a whine from your throat.

he pulled away, looking down at you with golden irises filled with lust. his gaze fell on the newly formed red spot on your neck, and he sat up pushing his glasses back to rest on the bridge of his nose. “sorry about that,” he whispered, his voice filled with nerves. “don’t be. i liked it,” you smiled, watching his gaze soften for the umpteenth time that day.

“do you like me?” he asked hesitantly. you paused, your eyebrows furrowing in mock confusion. “you know, for one of the smartest in the class, you’re pretty dumb.” he opened his mouth to protest, before you sat up to give him a quick kiss. “yes, i like you.”

his arms wrapped around your waist, pushing you back down onto his bed. “can we cuddle,” he said it as more of a statement than a question. you chuckled, wrapping your arms around his back. “can you be my boyfriend,” you pretend to mock, causing his head to snap up. he nodded hastily before burrowing his face into your chest once more. 

“i love you,” he said, his words muffled by your shirt. “i love you too, kei.” you smiled as you ran your hands through his golden locks, hearing a content sigh escape his lips.

[lostmykeysie]

➶*✧*⤪･*✧*2022 FIC GOALS*✧*･⤪*✧*➶

first up, thanks to @theonlywolfpants and @wolfstarhaven for being generally all round amazing, but also for tagging me in this

1. finish Trust is Earned

so this is a two in one, because i need to finish this, but i also need to learn from it: never plan a beginning and an ending for a fic and then just dive in. i need structure!! i need plot!! and yet here i am, without either!! as much as i love writing fluff i cannot write multi chap fluff, i am directionless. but i will finish it!!! i originally told myself i'd do it in time for christmas, but that's not going to happen. 2022 it is.

2. finish and publish my regulus black redemption fic

so this one i am excited about. i have learned from past mistakes and have planned the entire thing, every single chapter, but it means so much to me that i'm worried i'll be writing and re-writing and editing forever and just never post. i've never read anything reg focused/centric and it's all very new but i already love it so much and i'm hoping it'll be my best so far. just need to take the plunge! i have decided i will do it today. promise.

3. read non-wolfstar fic

so my issue is that i have a lot of problems with focusing and attention. i love fanfiction! it completely made my life during lockdown when i was in a situation (that i'm unfortunately still in) where i can't watch any tv or films because my mind just can't focus for long enough. imagine lockdown but without netflix or disney+ or anything - that was basically me. subscriptions to every streaming service out there but no brain that will let me watch, i was genuinely just lying in bed every day staring at the ceiling lol. then something or other got me onto ao3 and i've always been a wolfstar fan in concept but never in practice but next thing i know i'm hooked, and i've finally found entertainment my brain is happy with!!! but now i'm seeing all these talented writers with so much to give and i really want to branch out and read something else so i can appreciate them fully but i need a good introduction to trick my brain into caring about something other than wolfstar. i would really love some fic recommendations for non-wolfstar HP ships (and preferably not remus or sirius because wolfstar are endgame) fic that is short/semi short that you think showcases the characters or pairing and could kickstart my interest - please please please!!!!!!!

4. interact more

i honestly think i've only had tumblr for about a month which is insane. i had it when i was a teenager (makes me sound so old, i am still in my 20s ok leave me alone) - this super angsty depressing black and white blog. i'd love to find it but i can't remember my url and i don't have access to my old email :( but anyway, i've not hopped on here for long, but i am so glad i did, because it's great, but i am so out of the loop. so my plan for 2022 is to interact more and get to know everyone (lame)

5. write more!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meeting With a Stranger is honest to god the first thing i've ever written. it all started after many bottles of wine with two of my greatest friends. we were talking about ff and how we'd love to write, but didn't have the stones to/didn't have anything to say. (they're completely different fandoms - V is all about supernatural (destiel!) and L is a huge k-pop fan (loves BTS)) and i was saying how i'd love to beta work but could never write because my brain was empty of plot. then it got me thinking, and then the first MWaS scene with remus and james came into my mind, and then i would think of some stupid/funny line and be like haha sounds like something remus would do, and then boom, i'm writing a whole ass fic, and the rest is history.

i have a doc with prompts and inspos and scenes that i would to build on, mostly oneshots (i love writing fluffy oneshots so much) including a christmas wolfstar that i'm going to try and write next week and my reggie redemption fic eek! so i think this one will be my easiest goal only because now i've started, i canny stop

6. beta fics

i want to beta fics!!!!!!! in reality i want to live out my secret dream job of being an editor. i've never beta'd a fic and i'm not sure what the level of involvement is but it's something i really want to start in '22 so... if anyone is in need of a beta hit me up in 2022 :D

sorry this ended up really long, i am apparently an oversharer. all my mutuals have already been tagged and posted their 22 goals which tells me i need to get cracking on #4 asap!

[bisluthq]

How did you figure out that you needed real help? I've never had an official diagnosis, but lately I've been feeling like this might not be normal sadness/bad moods. There doesn't seem to be much relief from it, and I'm so tired.

TWs obviously.

So I have had mental health issues since I was a teenager in terms of compulsive behaviors and an ED and like what at that point was an affirmation complex. I also experienced my first major depressive episode the summer after my first year of uni. I also had had my first very lowkey suicide attempt - finished a pack of painkillers - when I was fifteen/sixteen.

With the MDD episode I knew it wasn’t normal because I couldn’t get out of bed. When I did I yelled at friends and my family and my boyfriend and then I’d feel bad (only for the latter tbh) and so send him nudes to “make up” for being a bitch and that was also the summer I cheated on him (we were apart, I went out out, I was very sad, etc).

I went on an antidepressant, went back to to uni, got my first hormonal diagnosis, some more meds, and felt better and forgot about it. (My eating became disordered again that year when the boyfriend and I broke up).

This time it took me longer to get “proper” help because I expected the original cure - antidepressants and a bit of therapy - to work. But I’m also older and more fucked up now so it didn’t really help that much but I was very much gunning that it would help and I was telling myself I’m functional.

Then because I was struggling to work, I went into clinic for one night and one day and I was like “okay the good stuff I’m fine now” but that obviously put my family on alert. I was better at masking it this time tho, so in my mind I’d been in touch with family and friends and colleagues consistently and so was “fine” and doing well.

Then I - accidentally tbh - took too many antidepressants and my parents freaked out and said I needed to take the advice I was getting and check myself in properly, so I did, in part because I wasn’t functional and hadn’t written in a while and I wasn’t responding to emails and like an editor who has worked with me since late 2016 reached out to my parents via Facebook to be like “is she ok??”

So like I did a stock take of it all and realized 1) I was not functional 2) my relationships - with family, friends and colleagues - were suffering from the dysfunction 3) I actually could remember not being that useless. I also spoke to my very best friend as well and he was like “no dude you’re not okay lately” and so yeah I went and checked myself in.

I would say in your case ask your GP and maybe get a therapist - they can recommend one - as well. Beyond that, assess functionality - in a real way with yourself not what you think people want to hear - and also ask yourself what you were like before and what you want to be like.

Issues™️ don’t always involve a “diagnosis” like bipolar, or ASD, or ADHD, or a personality disorder. Sometimes you just manifest particular dysfunctions and have particular issues.

It’s never nice to admit to yourself “wow I’m fucked up” but the point is if you’re not comfortable with how you feel and want to feel better rather go now than when you’re like “this is normal lol this is how I am” because your brain tricks you into forgetting. This is where friends and family and colleagues are also v helpful.

Admitting you have problems isn’t an indictment of you as an individual. If you had a physical ailment you’d need treatment - even if it was a relatively small thing that required symptomatic treatment - and you’d go get it. Mental health is the same.

Talk to your doctor, ask for a therapist, and go from there.

And it’s okay to be scared and to not want to, but the thing is you DESERVE TO BE HAPPY and the people in your life deserve a happy you and not a dysfunctional asshole they worry about.

Hope this helped a bit.

[basicgrayson]

So as I mentioned, I got top surgery yesterday! I had it done at the Kaiser hospital in Woodland Hills, and had to check in by 5:45 am, so of course I got no sleep whatsoever lol Everyone was good about using my name, and the guy who led me to my bed asked me what pronouns I preferred, then he wrote them on my chart and highlighted them, which I thought was really cool. My nurse was super nice and told me she really liked my name.

Before heading for the operating room, I was given some pills to take for pain, and an anti-nausea patch was placed behind my ear. Then I spoke to the anesthesiologist who asked me a bunch of general health questions and whether I'd like something to prevent nausea to which I said yes, please lol

After a bit, Dr Arteaga came in for the final examination and to mark up my chest. He told me that since I was getting keyhole, there's a chance I might need a revision, which I was fine with. Then shortly before 7:30 my anesthesiologist gave me something in the IV to help me relax, and we made our way to the operating room.

I scooted myself onto the operating table, then just stared at the lights, listening to my surgical team introducing themselves to each other. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in the recovery room wondering if they had done it yet. After a moment I felt soreness in the chest, and I just thought, "oh, I guess they did" lol

Apparently I slept for like 3 hours after surgery was done lol ooops. The nurse was really cool though, he said he likes to let his patients sleep as much as they need to. When I was fully alert he showed me how to clear the drain tubes and how to empty them. A bit after that, they helped me get dressed and wheeled me out to the car. Easy peasy.

I was a little bummed that huz wasn't allowed to sit with me at all once I was checked in, but that's a pandemic for you.

So far, I'm feeling pretty good. Not too much pain, but when I start to feel it getting sore again, I take half a Norco which seems to do the trick. I've been managing pretty well so far. Just about the only thing I can't do is flush the toilet which is unfortunate lol Mostly I'm just really tired, which is I guess due to the anesthesia. The binder and drains aren't really bothering me as much as I expected, but then again, it's only been a day.

Here's a pic of me with my lil vest on, and another with my drains (tw blood):

Peep my cute little flower drain holders. Also my new pajamas that my husband said make me look like a cholo lolol

Basically, so far so good. I won't be removing the vest until my surgeon gives me the ok, so when that happens maybe I can share some pics of the results. Anyway, that's about all for now. Until next time!

[roguestarsailor]

impressions of six of crows

***spoiler ishh, not plot spoilers but just character interactions throughout the book***

note: I have not read shadow and bone and this is the first book i’m reading in this series so i have no prior knowledge of who these people are or what happened prior to this!!

I adore all these characters in the book! I love how seamlessly everything flowed and its glorious to read. The names were all confusing to me so I had to constantly refer back to the map and the Ice court layout to fully understand everything. I think there were points where I didn’t fully understand the impact because I didn’t read the other books. Talk of the Second army was confusing for me, but I just pushed through. I just love the dynamic of this group and I really really hope they are ok. Please don’t die. Will this author do this to my sensitive heart?? idkk?? 

the heist was so fun and honestly, i dont think the ice court was that well protected haha. it felt like they had so much time to do so many things but it just might be how the story is told. i love stories of trickery and heist and this one did a really good job. I love the backstories getting interwoven together and the plot twists were lovely. I was stressed for kaz though and i was nervous he will “run out of tricks” but it ended up fine. its strange because he is sooo young and hes battling these seasoned professionals and hes gotta navigate this fucked up world. they all have to navigate this fucked up world and i can’t imagine the stress of always looking behind you but also looking at the next 10 steps and then plotting additional scenarios to live. wow. anyways this i was great 10/10!!

Notable scenes include:

“Jesper!”

I’m going to kill that little idiot. “What do you want?” he shouted down.

“Close your eyes!”

“You can’t kiss me from down there, Wylan.”

I LOVE THEM ALREADY! JESPER AND WYLAN IS SO CUTE

“Pull your shirt up over your mouth,” [Jesper] told Wylan.

“What?”

“Stop being dense. You’re cuter when you’re smart.”

Wylan’s cheeks went pink. He scowled and pulled his collar up.

“Discipline. Routine. Does it mean nothing to you? Djel, I can’t wait to have a bed to myself again.”

“Right,” said Nina. “I can feel just how much you hate sleeping next to me. I feel it every morning.”

Matthais flushed bright scarlet. “Why do you have to say things like that?”

“Because I like it when you turn red.”

“It’s disgusting. You don’t need to make everything lewd.”

...

“Despite her fatigue, she trotted ahead of him. “That’s it, isn’t it? You don’t want to like a Grisha. You’re scared that if you laugh at my jokes or answer my questions, you might start thinking I’m human. Would that be so terrible?”

“I do like you.”

“What was that?”

“I do like you,” he said angrily.

She’d beamed, feeling a well of pleasure erupt through her, “Now, really, was that so bad?”

“Yes!” he roared.

“Why?”

“Because you’re horrible. You’re loud and lewd and...treacherous.  Brum warned us that Grisha could be charming.”

“Oh, I see. I’m the wicked Grisha seductress. I have beguiled you with my Grisha wiles!”

She poked him in the chest.

YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I FUCKEN LOVE THESE BICKERING IDIOTS. but also nina means so much to me. its so fucken refreshing to see a character who is overweight and can carry herself with so much sass and confidence (because thats what 17 year old me would have wished to be able to channel)!! i love that shes so flirty and especially to someone as stoic as matthais is cute af!! even the author wrote about how much she loves nina: “I probably identify most with Nina. She’s spent her whole life being told she’s too big, too loud, too much--and that’s basically me. I just wish I had Nina’ confidence at seventeen.” she has the kind of sass and big dick energy that comes w having to prove yourself and being shamed and i think thats why she has a special place in my heart!! maybe i’ll go in on my love for nina in another post but ugh i love her

“When we get back to Ketterdam, I’m taking my share, and I’m leaving the Dregs.”

He looked away. “You should. You were always too good for the Barrel.”

It was time to go. “Saints’ speed, Kaz.”

Kaz snagged her wrist. “Inej.” His gloved thumb moved over her pulse, tracing the top of the feather tattoo. “If we don’t make it out, I want you to know...”

She waited.

...

She reached up and touched his cheek...this was the first time she had touched him skin to skin, without the barrier of gloves or coat or shirtsleeves. She let her hand cup his cheek. His skin was cool and damp from the rain. He stayed still but she saw a tremor pass through him as if he were waging a war with himself.

“If we don’t survive this night, I will die unafraid, Kaz. Can you say the same?”

His eyes were nearly black, the pupils dilated. She could see it took every last bit of his terrible will for him to remain still beneath her touch. And yet, he did not pull away. She knew it was the best he could offer. It was not enough.”

NO I LOVE THEM TOO! KAZ1!!! DO SOMETHING!!! BUT ALSO FUCKEN GOOD FOR YOU INEJ YOU FUCKEN KNOW WHAT YOU DESERVE AND IF HE AINT GIVING 100 U DONT WANT IT I LOVE HER TOO

Inej turned to go. Kaz seized her hand, keeping it on the railing. He didn’t look at her. “Stay,” he said, his voice rough stone. “Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me.”

She looked down at his gloved hand clutching hers. Everything in her wanted to say yes, but she would not settle for so little, not after all she’d been through. “What would be the point?”

He took a breath. “I want you to stay. I want you to...I want you.”

“You want me.” She turned the words over. Gently, she squeezed his hand. “And how will you have me, Kaz?”

He looked at her then, eyes fierce, mouth set. It was the face he wore when he was fighting.

“How will you have me?” she repeated. “Fully clothed, gloves on, your head turned away so our lips can never touch?”

He released her hand, his shoulders bunching, his gaze angry and ashamed as he turned his face to the sea.

Maybe it was because his back was to her that she could finally speak the words. “I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”

Speak, she begged silently. Give me a reason to stay. For all his selfishness and cruelty, Kaz was still the boy who had saved her. She wanted to believe he was worth saving, too.

ITERATE AGAIN, INEJ DONT WANT 90 PERCENT OR 99 PERCENT SHE WANTS 100 OR NOTHING WOW. i mean my shipping heart says NOOO buT shes right. kaz gotta figure out his shit and then share that vulnerability w her and maybe they can be truly together. UGH BUT THIS SCENE my god

Van Eck taunting Wylan and shitting on him for not being able to read was disgusting and i will fight him. I WILL PROTECT WYLAN WITH MY HEART! HES TRYING HIS BEST AND WORKING WITH WHAT HES GOT AND HE SAVED THEM ALL SO MANY TIMES. GET THIS PEDO OUT OF HERE FUCK THIS GUY

“That’s why you disappeared during the journey,” said Jesper. “You weren’t helping Matthais care for Nina. You were hiding.”

“I didn’t hide.”

“You...how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I thought it was Kuwei?”

“Every time.”

pekka rolllins. wow. what a man. i expect great things to happen between kaz and him. i truly did think kaz killed him back in the ice court lol but im glad he saw the grand plan and waited it out. hes a man of patience. i can respect that.