#ok time for 1 million tags

[kijagf]

Im never drinking again (<- girl who had 1 glass of vodka and a sip of gin 7 hours ago and nearly threw up)

[cntloup]

Simon has to go on a deployment

Simon bumps into you, a troubled woman whose boyfriend kicked her out after he found out she's pregnant

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

“Are you sure you’ll be ok?” he asks for the hundredth time, “Yes, Si. I'll be fine. Go do your job. But please be careful.” you respond as you help him put on his gear. 

He's going on a quick deployment. About one week. But that doesn’t make you any less nervous. 

You cup his face in your hands and stare into his eyes with a million different emotions coursing through you, “Be safe.” you whisper, “ ‘course, luv.” he replies as his gaze lingers on you, slowly drifting down to your lips. It quickly moves back up to your eyes again, but not before you notice it. 

He removes his dog tags and puts them around your neck and kisses your forehead as he shuts his eyes, breathing you in.

And he leaves with longing burning in his heart and you feel as though a piece of your heart has been ripped out of your chest. 

You spend most days quietly reading, tending to the small garden in the backyard, groaning in pain and throwing up apart from constantly worrying for his safety. 

A week and three days pass and he’s finally back home. 

He's alert, worry and anxiety creeping up on him the moment he notices the door is slightly ajar. 

He pulls out his gun and aims it forward, kicks the door open, his heart sinks into his stomach and he nearly faints on the spot as his eyes fall on the trail of blood staining the floor. 

[kuiinncedes]

shdhdjdj

[cypherthesuccubus]

I’m not done with you yet….darling~

Alastor x Reader -Part 1- (NSFW) (MDNI)!!!!

WARNINGS: smut, blood kink, bondage, slight S&M, Dom/Sub, rough rutting, mate marking, leash play/ownership, slight degradation, praise kink, body worship, ass worship, cock worship, she/her pronouns, vaginal sex, creampie, facial

Other Tags: Fluff, Angst

Note: Reader will receive aftercare

I hope you guys like this!! I’m not the best writer, but I wanted to write something for y’all. Enjoy Part 1~😈 @starlightdreaming and everyone who voted 🥰

The sound of smooth jazz was playing softly through the dimly lit room. The fire place and a simple floor lamp being the only light source to help see through the darkness. Shadows danced around the room almost as if they are anxious to do more than outline the elaborate decor. In the corner of the room was a lush scene of a forest with tall trees and thick grass coating that part of the hard wood floor. In the middle of the forest scene sit an elegant little table and chair; resembling something you would see at a luxurious cafe. A ominous figure; sitting cross legged in that chair; humming the tune that was playing while tapping his foot that touch the grass floor. Setting his mug down on the table; flipping through the news paper. Alastor hums at the current topics being discussed; finding them amusing that such things would even make it into the papers. Proper entertainment was a thing of the past it seems. He wished he could drum up some chaos like old times, but he knew he couldn’t on account of Charlie and the others. Where’s Mimzy when you needed her to bring the fun around? Oh well~ there’s only so much he can do when he has other priorities to attend to. Soon enough he’ll be able to find some proper entertainment eventually, but of course right now, Charlie is currently hosting a group activity downstairs to welcome a new guest to the hotel. Better not disappoint and make a bad impression on the new arrival. Putting the paper down while fixing his bow tie; Alastor stands and makes his way towards the bedroom door; putting alittle pep in his step while folding his hands behind his back; holding his staff while putting on his signature awarding winning smile like always.

(Y/N’s P.O.V)

“A shot at redemption didn’t sound so bad. Maybe I should give it a chance before I make any rash decisions.” I thought as I approach the newly refurbished Hazbin Hotel. Funny name for a hotel, but I guess it fits. I didn’t even have a chance to knock on the door as it was yanked wide open. There stood in the doorway was Ms. Sunshine herself; Princess Charlie. She definitely was much taller in person that’s for sure. Her smile was definitely the brightest thing to ever grace hell with its radiance. Hard to believe someone as bubbly and sweet like this was born here in hell. “HEY THERE!!! WELCOME TO THE HAZBIN HOTEL!!!! I’m Charlie and I’m here to give personally give you a tour of this place!!!” She basically announced with so much excitement. I’ve never thought in a million years that there would be a chance to be redeemed after death. I mean if the angels could be killed, maybe redemption was possible too. Charlie takes me by the hand and leads me into the lobby where a little group demons were already gathered; sitting on the couches or on the floor. Almost like they’re having some sort of circle time. Charlie then leads me to the group and sits me down; facing the coffee table that’s sitting in the middle of the circle. “But before the tour, we had a planned group activity today where we all introduce ourselves. Since you’re right on time, did you want to go first new friend?” I shook my head “No I can go last…I don’t mind waiting to know everyone else first.” She gave me a reassuring smile and pats me on the back “Ok no problem!, you take all the time you need to prepare.” I sighed in relief. I’m not that great with introductions and being a little on the shy side was not easy either. I want to make friends, but sometimes I could never find the words to say. So often I tend to clam up if I’m too anxious. The intros started off with Charlie of course as she talked about her interests and what made her the most happy.

Then it went down the line with Vaggie; Charlie’s girlfriend; making her intro. Then it was Angel Dust after her; he definitely made me laugh with his sex jokes and constant flirting with this guy Husky? Turned out it was actually Husker; Husky was one of the many names Angel calls him to annoy the fuck out of him really. Then it was this cute little thing called Niffty. She reminded me of a doll from how tiny she was; just simply adorable. Then it was the emo punk like girl with a high ponytail; she called herself Cherri. I think I like her too just as much as Angel Dust. It seemed like they were already besties from how they interacted with each other. I hope they can consider me as a bestie too cause honestly they seem like they know how to have fun. It would probably help tremendously with this shyness of mine to get to know people better. Just then I felt a shift in my hears as if like on an airplane with the shift of pressure. Static like feelings was going up and down my body as if being shocked gently. In the corner of my eye I see this shadow rise from the ground to form a figure that looked to have deer like ears and two tiny antlers on top of the head along with a microphone like staff being held behind this figures back. The shadows finally disappeared to present the one and only Radio demon himself.

Dressed in his red pinstriped coat with black and red cuffed slacks to match his recently shined shoes. His black bow tie sat perfectly at the neck; making him look like the distinguished gentleman he made himself to be. His wide smile; unfaltering while it slightly glowed along with his ruby red eyes from him standing in the dimmer part of the lobby. Giving him an almost eerie appearance like a predator looking for its next meal. He approaches more into the light of the lobby now getting a better view of him in detail “Hello everyone! I do apologize for being a little late. I had some urgent errands to take care of, but now I’m finally here like I promised.” Charlie looks up at him and clasps her hands together “Oh perfect! We’re just going through the introductions now. Everyone pretty much just went through theirs except you and our new friend here.” She gestures to me with a cheery grin. That’s when his eyes finally locked on me. I looked at him back and instantly regret it. Once I locked eyes with him it seemed like his smile grew wider as his eyes darted down then back up. I looked down into my lap to hide my now flushed face. I swallowed hard from anxiety I felt at that moment. If he was the predator then he is definitely making me feel like the prey right now. It didn’t help he was also handsome to boot; making me all the more nervous. “Oh wonderful! Well the name’s Alastor my dear! A pleasure to be meeting you!” I look back up to him as to not be rude of course. When will I ever learn? He leans down in a bow staring straight into my soul with half lidded eyes; grin growing wider as he spoke in a lower almost sultry voice

“Quite the pleasure~”

(Alastor’s P.O.V)

How curious? As soon as spoke my usual greeting, this new guest instantly turned red and buried her face into her hoodie. I could have sworn I also heard a faint high pitched whimper as well. Interesting~ Charlie then speaks up “Ok Alastor!, now tell our new guest what you like to do for fun, and what makes you the happiest!” The annoying one, Vaggatha, turned to her “Charlie I don’t he’s gonna admit anything like that to us.” For someone who is as irritating as her she’s actually right for once. “Indeed so!” I look towards the new guest again; the feeling curiosity took over again, but this time I wanted to push it just a little bit….further. “Cause that is for and only me to know….buuuut~” I lean down once again as she just peaked her head out again “if curiosity gets the better of you…then who am I to stop you if you have “a little death” wish~” WHAT. DID. I. JUST. SAY?!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?! I WOULD NEVER SAY THIS!!!!! NOT TO ANYONE!!!! As soon as I said it, she let out another whimper this time; only it was a bit louder that everyone could hear it this time. She buried herself deeper into her hoodie realizing what she did. Looks like I’m not the only one embarrassing themselves at least. But seriously?!?! “a little death?!?!” I’ve never made innuendos like that?!?! I even shocked Angel for heaven’s sake?!?! Charlie then breaks the silence giggling nervously “Ahaha…ok how about this. New friend how about you just your name for now and we can go on that tour I promised earlier.”

She peeked one more time; nodding as she spoke with a voice almost like silk. “M-my name is (Y/N)….it’s nice to meet you all.” Charlie smiles at her “I love that name! It’s very pretty! It really suits you.” She approaches her and helps her off the floor “Ok everyone thank you for being apart of today’s activity today! We’ll see you all at dinner.” Everyone disarrayed from the circle and headed their own ways as I made quick haste into the shadows; transporting back into to my quarters. I start to pace the floor, running my fingers through my hair; trying to figure out why I made such a display in front of everyone no less. This was not like me at all, and I don’t understand why; which pisses me off the most!!!! Is it because I’m about to go into season?!?!? No it couldn’t be. I’ve always known how to maintain it really well. I’ve been around for a long time, and my seasons have never been an issue for me to control. Even when completely surrounded; still proved no issue. What is going on?!?! I take a deep breath and adjust my bow tie; dusting off my coat. I just need to keep my distance for a couple of weeks and maybe this will blow over when my season ends. Even if it isn’t, I’m still not taking any chances. No one will know about this…..not even her. I am the Radio Demon, feared by all and it should stay that way.

[lnfours]

summer love | l.n

summary: part 2 to this request but make it ✨summer break ✨

warnings: fluff, language, all the feels, lando being 100% whipped. fem!driver x lando :,)

masterlist | part 1 | ask box

₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

it was officially summer break, a whole month off of racing to recharge the batteries, spend time with family and friends and just do normal people things.

but all you could think about was him. it was sickening. you weren’t sure how or why, but you found yourself thinking about lando a lot more than you should. and you knew you shouldn’t, he was your teammate, but something about that day in the drivers room made your heart rate spike.

you were laying in bed, scrolling through instagram when you had come across his story. you held down the picture, examining it as you looked it over.

it was a picture of the sunset, the location tagged london, england. you furrowed an eyebrow, he spent his summer break at home? before you knew it, you were sliding up, adding a comment underneath the picture.

you’re home for summer break?

you bit down on your lower lip after you had sent it. surely he wouldn’t reply, he was probably off having a good time, enjoying his life and not thinking about you-

yea, feels good to be home. where’d you go to spend holiday?

you clicked at the top of your screen, opening the dms. you had saw the previous dms being memes you had sent one another a while back, the two of you going back and forth about who was funnier.

it was you.

actually, i’m here too 😅

you saw his icon appear at the bottom of your message before it changed to say he was typing. you tried so hard to ignore the way your stomach was doing cartwheels.

out of ALL the places you could’ve chose from, you picked london? stalker much? 🙄

you let out a soft laugh, typing back a whitty response.

you wish i was here to see you, norris 🥱 no, i’ve just never been. always been on my bucket list to come outside of racing

typing…

i do, actually. i miss you

you read it over and over again before another message appeared from him.

also, where are you staying? we can meet up, get coffee or something? i can show you around 😁

okay, now you were internally screaming. you clicked on the photo option, snapping a picture of you in your bed, adding the location of the hotel you were staying in before sending it. he opened it almost immediately, sending another picture back. he was shirtless, sunglasses resting on his nose and you noticed he had grown out his facial hair. the sun was still setting and it looked like he was on a beach.

you’re literally 15 minutes away from me. hang out with me, i’m bored ☹️

you smiled before sending another picture, this time of the tv in the hotel which was currently playing an episode of a show you had seen a million times before.

can’t, busy :/

another picture from him, this time he was in his car. he had a shirt on now, the white fabric making him look tanner, his hair messy. how could someone look so good?

too bad, i know where you are 🥰

you took a picture of yourself giving him the finger, a playful smile on your face.

ok fine, but you’re getting me food

he replied with another picture, this time of his hand on the steering wheel. the mclaren logo on the center was the star of the show, the four little lines on the bottom making an appearance.

deal, see you soon

you double tapped his photo, throwing the covers off of your legs before making your way to your suitcase. you grabbed a pair of shorts and an over size hoodie, tugging it on before fixing your hair. you opted on no makeup, slipping your sunglasses on before grabbing your bag. once you made sure you had everything, you made your way to the lobby.

in the elevator, your phone pinged.

your chariot awaits, m’lady

you rolled your eyes and smiled, typing back a response.

coming to lobby now, mr. uber driver

he double tapped your message and when you walked through the doors of the hotel, you immediately spotted him. he was waiting for you, leaning against the passenger side door. you smiled, approaching him as he smiled back at you.

“hey,” you said, the two of you reaching for a hug. he wrapped his arms around your waist, desperately trying not to hug you too tight as you slung your arms around his neck.

“hey,” he smiled back, “ready for the best tour of london you’ll ever get with your favorite guy?”

you looked around, a playful smile on your lips, “lewis is here?”

he rolled his eyes, shoving your arm softly as he chuckled, “oh, fuck off.”

you laughed back at him, letting him open the door for you. you smiled and thanked him, letting it close as he made his way to the drivers side. you took note of each little personalized detail of the car, smiling softly at how much of his personality was put into it.

“so,” he said, starting the car, “anywhere in particular you wanted to see?”

you shook your head, “no, but if you want, you could show me your favorite places.”

he nodded, pulling out of the parking lot, “i’ve got the perfect place for you.”

you couldn’t help but smile again as you looked over at him. he handed you his phone, spotify open, “play whatever you want.”

you raised an eyebrow, “whatever i want?”

he nodded, “yeah, curious to see what kind of music you listen to.”

you smirked, typing in ‘summer love’ by justin timberlake. the song boomed through the speakers and he laughed, turning it up slightly as he made his way to one of his favorite spots.

after more songs, which may or may not have included some one direction songs (which he surprisingly knew all the words to), and some small talk later, he pulled into a parking spot at the overlook. you both got out, standing in front of the car as you looked out at the view.

“wow,” you breathed, “this is stunning.”

you looked up at the sky as you finally got to see it’s beauty without any light pollution. he smiled, leaning against the car as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

“yeah,” he looked over at you, “it is.”

you looked over at him, “you’re looking at me like that again.”

he raised an eyebrow, but the smile still sat on his face as he shook his head, “no idea what you’re talking about, doll.”

your stomach did a flip and you walked in front of him, your legs between his, “how many girls have you brought here?”

he snorted, “none, only you,” he looked up at the stars now, his neck on display for you. his fluffy curls were pushed back with his sunglasses, his nose and cheeks slightly red and covered in sun freckles from being outside all day. he looked so pretty like this to you, who was still standing in front of him and god you wish you didn’t look awkward staring at him like this, “kind of a place where i come if i need to get away, just think for a little bit.”

you finally adverted your eyes back to the sky, “yeah, this would be the place to do it.”

he nodded, “so, to answer your question, none. guess that makes you special.”

you gasped, “i’m special to the lando norris?”

“don’t start,” he rolled his eyes playfully, “you’re like, P3 at best.”

“well you know what they say about being third,” you said, “they have the treasure chest.”

he chuckled again, the soft breeze of the night whisking a hair in your face. he carefully reached out and brushed it back, “actually, you get 15 points. cmon, you’re supposed to know this, y/n,”

you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face even if you tried, “you would know, huh?”

your phone buzzed in your pocket, pulling it out and reading the notification.

⚠️ time to bereal ⚠️

you clicked on it, looking up at him but he was already looking at you, “wanna be in my bereal?”

“sure,” he said and you smiled before clicking on the notification.

however when you held your arm up, you started laughing and not being able to take yourself seriously. lando laughed with you.

“hurry! take the picture or it’ll be late!” he laughed and you pulled yourself together before laughing again. you weren’t sure what it was. if it was how close he was to you or how happy you were right now, but he took the phone from you.

“jesus christ,” he laughed as he raised his arm up, pulling you in by your hip. you wrapped both arms around his neck, smiling at the camera. he turned the phone around to get the other picture, this time he turned his head towards you and you faced him with a smile. he smiled back, your hand resting on his cheek. the flash went off and he brought his arm down, but you still kept his face in your hand.

you took the phone from him, “thank you,”

“yeah,” he smiled, “anytime,”

you locked your phone, slipping it back into your pocket before looking at him again. he still had the same look on his face, almost like he was-

“i like you, y/n,” he said, “a lot.”

you smiled, heart jumping up to your throat, stomach doing flips, and you swore you were going to pass out when he placed his hand on your cheek, thumb stroking the skin, his fingers starting to move into the hair behind your ear.

“i like you too,” you said, and that was all he needed to hear before he was pulling your neck towards him, lips connecting with yours. your body felt like it was on fire as his hands moved from your face to your hips, shifting as he leaned back against the hood of the car, taking you with him as you laid on top of him.

the kiss got hot, his tongue poking out to lick at your bottom lip. at first you didn’t let him in, which made you giggle against him. but, the giggling turned into gasping the minute he tugged on your hair gently, allowing him to sneak his tongue in.

he finally broke the kiss, the both of you panting. you hadn’t realized that your hands were in his hair, it now being a mess of frizzy, beachy curls. his lips were red and puffy, pupils blown. you were so in love.

your phone buzzed in your pocket, taking it out and almost laughing at the notification. he smiled at you, but raised an eyebrow in confusion, “what? what’s funny?”

you turned your phone around to show him oscar’s comment on your bereal:

oscarpiastri81: WHAT THE FUCK??!?!

he laughed, pulling you as close as he could while you typed out a response to your teammate, “you hungry?”

you nodded, slipping your phone back into your pocket, “starving, actually.”

he nodded, taking your hand in his as you stood up, “i know a really good spot not far from your hotel, think you’ll like it.”

you smiled as he opened the door for you, you thanked him with a quick kiss on his lips, “sounds perfect.”

[two-white-butterflies]

do i wanna know? | m33

Description: Max Verstappen begins dating Tony Stark's daughter.

Pairing: max verstappen/nepo-baby!reader

y/n_stark: happy father's day, so much to be thankful for ✨ tagged: tony

192 comments 182,390 likes

tonystarkisasigma: #1 alpha male

maxverstappen1: Happy Father's Day - f1forzaferrari: ariana what r u doing here 💀

schecoperez: ¡Feliz Día del Padre! - ilikesmootheis19: BYEE WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE

danielricciardo: pls tell ur dad to give me a seat 😇 - y/n_stark: will do!

yukitsunoda0511: happy birthday

alonsohamiltonworld: friendly reminder that tony stark owns redbull and alpha tauri, that's why the drivers are kissing his @ss

Y/N STARK ALLEGEDLY DATING AN F1 DRIVER. by deuxmoi (podcast)

Deuxmoi: So allegedly a famous billionaire superhero nepo-baby is dating an F1 racer. My bets are on Y/N Stark, because her dad is the only superhero with kids. As for the F1 racer, we're not sure - some people in my dms say that it's Daniel Ricciardo, Charles Leclerc or Max Verstappen.

y/n_stark: first time in the redbull garage, totally in awe ✨

928 comments 128,349 likes

maxverstappen1: 💙🧡 #OrangeArmy

landonorris: aww missing you here - ynfans: YA'LL BE SAYING IT'S CHARLES, DANIEL AND MAX BUT IT'S OBVIOUSLY LANDO BYEE

tony: ❤️🔥

ynfans: a thread on how y/n stark is dating lando norris

Y/N was in England the same time Lando was in England. (picture proof: she's the one who took the photo)

2. Lando commented "aww missing you here" to her post 3. They would make a cute couple. I rest my case.

9 comments 100 likes

carlandoisbae: bitch bffr

grimes49r: "(shes the one who took the photo)" girl just kys 😭 they're obviously not dating

y/nfans: ok, if she's not dating lando then she's dating charles ya'll stfu because idgaf

avengersassembleconspirancy: I'm praying for the driver that manages to date iron-man's daughter.

10 comments 1,293 likes 12 retweets

peterparker1001: praying for max verstappen 😁 - ynismymommy: I CHECKED HIS PROFILE? HE INTERNS FOR TONY STARK, AND THEY'RE LIKE CLOSE CLOSE 😭 - ilovecaptainamerica: someone is getting fired 💀🤣

y/n_stark: since the cat is out of the basket 🤷🏻‍♀️💕 tagged: maxverstappen1

2911 comments 292,201 likes

maxverstappen1: 🧡💙

peterparker1001: really sorry mr verstappen 😕

starkfashion: how did ur dad react? - y/n_stark: we'll know in a few minutes 💗💕

tony: I feel sorry, - peonysandsuid: me too, she deserves better -- tony: for Max

maxverstappen1: Cheers to more laughter ✨ my lucky charm ❤️ tagged: y/n_stark, tony, redbullracing

819 comments 912,384 likes

carlandolover: bro tagged his entire family 🥶

verstappenleclercbonus: bro isn't scared of tony stark 🥶

y/n_stark: handsome and spectacular 💕

danielricciardo: aww cheers mate 🥂

lokiandthorareinnocent: bro said, i'm the boss now 🥶

AITA FOR ACCIDENTALLY EXPOSING MY BEST FRIEND'S RELATIONSHIP?

I, student, M have a friend - 23, F, and she's been in a relationship with a very famous guy for over a year now. She's very private and lowkey with all the things that she does. Now, instead of using my alternate account in commenting something - I used my real account and their relationship got exposed. She tells me that it's perfectly fine and that she doesn't blame me but I feel really bad. AITA?

3 upvotes

aragornofmirkwood: nta divorce the alternate account

benelopecruz: if she says that she doesn't blaim you, nta

maxverstappenisnomber1 max verstappen after pulling tony stark's daughter

starkfamily99 tony stark after a broke man *worth $60 million* dates his daughter

starkfamilyisworld how i imagine tony talking to max: "100 Million, stay away from my daughter"

y/n_stark: SMASH. WAIT WHAT WAS THE GAME?

193 comments 293,129 likes

y.nbutterflyworld: this is how i know tony stark is a good dad 😭 his daughter's type is SO far away from what he looks like. Sis has no daddy issues fr 😭

next part

[kerokerokook]

the rebound girl: chapter two

pairing: nerd pro-gamer jeongguk x reader

word count: 25.5k wtf

warnings for this chapter: oc just goes for it, jeongguk is hot as usual, lots of kissing, finally some smut, first time, virgin jk!, subby jk! with dom! reader at first but that changes, oral (m. receiving), oral fixation, fingering, jeongguk does the lower stomach trick from tiktok (iykyk), he's a little shit but it's okay.

other tags: lots of overthinking, oc goes back and forth a whole bunch (she's confused and hurt ok), jeongguk is a giant MF green flag (obvi), vmin and 2yeon being chaotically gay ofc, some brief physics mentioned, a bit of angst, oc has been hurt in her teen years.

a/n: sorry this took 9 million years but ya girl just got into her masters program!! hopefully, i can update this once/twice a month? maybe even more but, that's the plan!

enjoy :)

<3 mal

original post

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The first day of school hit you in the face like a speeding fourteen-wheel truck. 

Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration because you’ve known the date since the beginning of summer break but time flew by so quickly that you couldn’t believe September was starting and another school year was too. 

Soon, you’ll graduate and get a job and move on from all of the shit you’ve gone through to become a whole adult. It’s terrifying yet exciting all at once. 

Fortunately, you picked out your outfit last night: baggy blue jeans, a white cropped tank top and an oversized black corduroy button up shirt. It’s simple and comfy which you always prefer for school outfits. Simple gold jewelry sits on your neck and in your ears and you keep your hair back with a clear claw clip. You keep your makeup light, being that you’ll be back home in a few hours where you’ll just slip back into your pajamas and do nothing for the rest of the day.

While packing your things, you make sure to tuck Jeongguk’s t-shirt that you’ve washed and his umbrella into your backpack, then give Snowball her last few pets for the day while checking her food and water bowl. 

“I’ll be back in a few hours cutie,” you coo, scratching underneath her chin. Her head tilts up, a content smile on her cute face, eyes shut while pushing into your touch.

Adopting Snowball sort of just happened. You were lonely last Winter break after a guy you met in your Economic Growth Seminar had moved on and your mom was talking about how your neighbor’s cat just had a litter of kittens. Thankfully, your landlord was okay with pets and boom, there was a little fluff ball making your day better little by little. After a long day, there was nothing you liked doing more than stroking her soft fur and listening to music or throwing a movie on while she purrs right next to you. She’s a great comfort to you and your friends love her too.

Tearfully, you rip yourself away from your little baby and step outside of your comfortable apartment. The hallway is empty at this time. Your building has mostly college students and a few bachelors and bachelorettes here and there so it’s surprising that no one else is walking out at the same time as you. But that’s fine. No polite greetings necessary. You put your headphones in, play some music and begin your trek to school. 

Living one subway ride away from university is a privilege. It never takes you that long to get to class and it’s easy to get back home. It’s the best thing about living here. 

Plus in the springtime, the blossoms decorate the streets with little pink petals and it’s a sight to see. 

On the way down the subway steps, you check your schedule once more just to be sure of your class load today. You have a 9am lecture, then an 11:30am lecture and then a discussion at 1:45 but those only start the second week of school every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, you have classes from 8am-3pm which sounds like ass now that you think about it. 

Fuck, were you drunk when you selected these courses? 

You shake your head. Whatever, not like there’s much you can do now, right? At least you’ll be busy so less time to mess around. 

Your walk down the steps continues and you shove your phone into your jean pocket as you rush over to make the train before your first class, taking out your metro-card.

After dodging some lethargic businessmen and starstruck tourists, you manage to reach the train with a few seconds to spare. There’s a towards the back so you quickly walk over and grab the handle when there’s a vibration against your ass. 

Confused, you pull your phone out. It’s probably a tiktok sent to you by Jeongyeon of a cat with a funny filter on or something but the screen shows the message icon and you use FaceID to unlock your phone to see who the sender was.

It’s a text from Jeongguk. 

jeon jeongguk

hey

do you want to give me the stuff outside the engineering building?

maybe around 1? 

by stuff i mean my shirt and umbrella

You smile to yourself. The fact that he felt the need to explain what he meant by stuff is unbelievably adorable to you. 

me 

sure, i’ll be there :) 

You almost wonder what Jeongguk’s schedule is like but you stop yourself quickly. You tried to not to think too much about him on Sunday when you got back. It was enough that his sweet smelling shirt was on your body and you still had the lingering imprint of his hug on your skin but now that you know he  goes to the same school, you’ll become more interested and you can’t. Jeongguk isn’t going to be the next boy to occupy your mind. 

This year is going to be different. You won’t be the rebound girl anymore, you won’t sleep with guys from your school, and you won’t give in. 

After everything that went down with Wooshik, it’s just better for you to distance yourself from this stupid label of rebound girl. It’s done nothing but hurt you and worsen your relationship with the people in your department. First year you were hanging out and eating with them and now all you have are Nayeon and Jeongyeon. Not that you don’t like them but you just hate what being the rebound girl has done to your college life.

Your mother used to say your college years are your prime years to be young and stupid and learn about life. 

But college is nothing special to you. The classes are harder, people are smarter, meaner, better, and all you can do is push yourself to do the best that you can. Sometimes it’s enough, sometimes it isn’t. Your friends are great and you’ve made some good memories, but so far, college isn’t that coming-of-age life lesson that your mother always talked about. 

You’re not particularly upset about it. You just wished you could do more. Live your life without eyes all over you and whispers at every mistake. 

As the train lets you off at your spot, you make sure to triple check your schedule for the day so you know where you’re going after your first class. 

9am is your Macroeconomics lecture in the Economics building which is fine. Your professor is nice and the class seems interesting enough that you know you’ll do well. Mostly test based which won’t be a problem because economics is your thing. You’ve been studying it diligently for three years now so you can confidently say that. 

But 11:30 is your worst nightmare: physics. 

This is all your fault. Nayeon told you to get all of your general education requirements out of the way quickly your first and second year so that you wouldn’t have to worry about them later but you didn’t listen. 

Look, science is simply not your thing. High school courses were hell on earth thanks to your asshole of a Chemistry teacher. You managed to gaslight yourself into thinking math was easy enough as long as you studied like a mad person and got those requirements out of the way but science is hell on earth for you. Your university requires one life science and two physical sciences. Life science was an easy choice: zoology. You got to learn about cute animals and watch videos about them. First semester of your first year was easy. 

Then you decided to take Geology for physical science during your second semester. It sounded easy but memorizing all of those different rock formations was starting to wear you out from the inside. Somehow you managed a B. And after that, it was either meteorology, astronomy, or some form of physics since every other course required you to be enrolled in the Physical Sciences department or have some prerequisite that you didn’t want to take. None of the options sounded appealing to you so you put it off until now. Then, when the realization hit that you had only one more year after this to make up for all of those credits, you decided astronomy might be the best choice after reading some professor reviews. 

Only for you to sleep through registration and wake up in a frenzy to find the class completely full. 

Yeah, you almost started crying.

So physics it was and, how wonderful, the only class available was with an unlikeable teacher that has a horrible rating. Amazing. 

Panic floods your system as you walk into the large lecture hall. You aim for a seat in the middle, take out your supplies, and start diligently listening. Your professor is a stout, sad, little man who is trying to improve his professor score online so thankfully, he says he’s going to be more lenient when it comes to tests but demands that homework be turned in on time otherwise points will be deducted. Fair enough. You could do that. 

But then he starts going into course material. 

Energy; alright. 

Motion; cool. 

Thermodynamics; okay.

Optics; excuse me?

Electromagnetism; sound the alarms. 

This class is going to kill you. Even if it’s Physics 1 and your class is filled with mostly underclassmen, you know you won’t grasp the concepts easily with all of your other classes weighing down on your head. There’s so much to do and so little time to do it all. 

“.. previous students of mine have so graciously offered tutoring hours so if any of you are confused, I highly recommend meeting up with them and going over concepts. They have taken my tests before so they know what to expect. It is the best way to ensure you do well.”

Most of the students behind you have gone to sleep or started scrolling through their phones but you have a lightbulb moment. 

Perfect, okay. All you have to do is check the list of tutors online and schedule appointments with them. Shouldn’t be that bad.  Another thing to be strict about. 

This is just what you wanted: a tight enough schedule to keep you too busy to think about anything else.

Once class is over, you pack all of your things and check your phone once more. Jeongguk said he’d be outside the engineering building which is close to the physical sciences building. The time reads 12:50pm so you have some time to make your way outside. 

So far, the first day has ended and it’s gone pretty well. You’ll go back home, create a strict study table on your Notion, rent all of your books and then relax for the rest of the day. Then the rest of this week should be smooth sailing as you get into the groove with your new professors. Nayeon and Jeongyeon are going to meet you at your place for home-cooked dinner this Friday( a little first week back tradition) which you’re excited for.  You should look up some recipes and make sure Nayeon stays out of your kitchen so she won’t blow anything up. That girl is incapable of not making a disaster in the kitchen. 

You sigh through your nose, studying the sights you see on campus. Various students walking in small triplets or duos. The occasional lone wolf with headphones on to block out the world. Some clubs are putting up posters or setting up tables to grab first years as they explore campus. The path that is currently running outside the STEM buildings break off into various courtyards and cafes where students of all departments come to chill or cut through to go to their other classes. 

It’s about to be a great scenic walk just until you run into Wooshik and his buddies as they’re exiting a café with drinks in their hands. 

Kill me now. 

You pause like a deer in headlights when you make eye contact with him, stopping midway so your lips can part as your entire body goes stuff. 

Now, more than anything, you really wish you were walking with someone. 

“Hey,” Wooshik forces out, crossing his arms over his chest. His polo shirt is open enough to show a random cluster of dark hickeys from the middle of his throat to the beginning of his chest. Real subtle. 

Before seeing that, you were thinking about apologizing but now, not so much. 

“Hi,” your tone is short. You can feel eyes dance over your body, the swell of your breasts and the sliver of skin revealed between your crop top and pants from one of his creepy pals behind him and you have half a mind to kick him in the balls. 

Wooshik’s eyes bounce back and he juts his face forward like he’s waiting for you to say something to him but you keep your lips perfectly sealed. If he wants an apology, he can wait until he’s dead. His other friends exchange weird looks at the lack of conversation going on between you two, probably wondering if this standoff is going to linger forever. 

It makes you wonder what Wooshik told them. 

Guys love having their ego fluffed. If they get rejected by a girl, they’ll tell their best friends that she was an ugly slut or they’ll flip the story to say that they rejected her to save face. The last thing they want their friends to know is that a girl rejected them. It dims their coolness. However, you really don’t give a fuck about Wooshik looking cool in front of his boys. If anything, you revel in the cutting deflation he’ll feel when you tell them the truth. 

“Did you get the wine out of your shirt?” You ask innocently. “I should’ve aimed it more towards your face and less towards your clothes.” Shrugging, a satisfied smile grows on your lips. 

Wooshik’s ears turn red. “I–” he cuts eye contact as his friends snicker behind him. You watch in satisfaction as his expression changes from surprised to annoyed to angry. “You know what, fuck you. You ruined my shirt. I had to take that hot waitress back to my place instead of a hotel so I didn’t reek of wine.”  

You scoff immediately. “Damn and I was trying to do her a favor. But congrats, looks like you got your tiny dick wet for two minutes.” You start to clap. One of his friends chokes back a splutter of laughter at the jab. 

Wooshik wasn’t anything amazing but you sort of expected that. Most of your hookups are satisfactory. They get the job done and they give up. As stupid as it sounds, you’ve always gone above and beyond to pleasure someone. There’s something amazing about making your partner feel good but most men see sex in a selfish lens. 

For most guys, sex means sticking their dick in and sloshing it around a few times until they feel good. Boom, sex over. 

Now, if they want to make you feel good, it still won’t be about you. Orgasms are like points. They don’t get off on your pleasure but more on the fact that they’re so amazing at sex that you experienced pleasure. Another way to fluff their egos. 

For once, you’d wish for a guy to actually care about you and your pleasure in an unselfish way, the same way you do for them. 

Wooshik stumbles for a moment but he jumps back quickly to get you too. Especially with all of his boys watching. 

“You didn’t seem to complain about it at first. What, changed your mind because I didn’t want you anymore?” 

Oh, please. A plastic vibrator has done more for you than he ever will. 

You laugh sardonically. “No, I just felt bad for you.” You say it wholeheartedly and it's the most truthful you’ve ever been with him. 

His friends then burst into giggles and snickers, shoving him around when he fails to retort, left dumbfounded by the sheer audacity of you but you don’t care. You don’t get to see the look on Wooshik’s face but you don’t care. The laughter is your cue to leave him. 

 That chapter of your life is over now and you won’t ever have to deal with him again. The last man you’ll let trample all over you the minute you show them some sympathy. 

All you can hope is that the pesky nickname that’s been poisoning you since your first year college can fade away into obscurity forever and ever. 

Then, you can just be you. No label, no nickname, no reputation. Just a regular college senior. 

The walk to the engineering building is lighter now. You feel like one of the falling petals gently flying through the sky from the branch down to the ground. A new journey begins and you can’t wait for it. 

After another minute of walking, you reach the engineering building. Painted a soft brown with tons of posters and clubs waiting to talk to students. You dodge all of them to head inside where Jeongguk is waiting by a random classroom. You navigate through the crowd until you finally locate a  mop of gorgeous dark hair and bright clear eyes. 

He’s facing his phone screen, one leg crossed over the other, but you’re still mesmerized by him. Beauty is in simplicity but with a face like that, Jeongguk could wear a burlap sack and make it work. But currently, he’s dressed in baggy gray cargos and a dark blue long-sleeve shirt with some brand name logo on it. The urge to sigh like a satisfied cartoon character is intense. 

You hate and love it at the same time. How on earth can he look so boyfriend without trying? 

“Hey, Jeongguk,” you call softly, taking short strides towards him, hoping that your hair looks good and not like a frizzy mess from the wind. 

His head pops up, glimmering eyes like two black pools of water gazing back at you. Then a soft grin forms on his lips, skin creasing, dimpling, and cute. 

“Hey.” Jeongguk tucks his phone into his pants pocket. His perfume wafts over to you the moment he moves, welcoming you like a warm hug after a long day. 

You want to bury your nose in it and never forget the smell. 

“Sorry, I got caught up with something on the way here. Were you waiting for a while?”

“Nah, I’ve been here for like two minutes. Did you bring it?” He adjusts his bag for a moment. 

“Yep.” You hand him the shirt, neatly folded and smelling of your fabric softener, along with the umbrella tied. “All clean.” A cute smile grows on his face as he gently takes the items and puts it in his bag, humming excitedly under his breath which makes your entire body warm. “Listen, are you off for the rest of the day?” 

“Yeah, I have all morning classes on Mondays and Wednesdays. You?”  

“Same and it just so happens that I needed a walking buddy to the subway station.”  You take the first step towards the exit when he agrees with a short chuckle and a nod. Your apartment building is one stop away while Jeongguk is about four stops away so you won’t get to talk much but the sentiment is what matters. 

Plus, all you really want is to be close to him and his family again. There was a real bond going on when you were young and now you’ve been handed a golden chance to reignite that spark. 

Fresh air fills your lungs while your ears pick up on the sounds of fading conversations, the smell of food and new school supplies greets your nose. You have yet to reach the economics building, where more people know you, so people here aren’t staring just yet. They’re preoccupied with their own lives and you want to appreciate it for a little longer. 

“By the way, thanks for Saturday. I’m sure dealing with five drunk weirdos must’ve been annoying,” you add. 

You barely remember the words coming out of your mouth. It was a slew of garbled song lyrics, high thoughts and giggles and that’s the best you can do. There’s no way Jeongguk was walking out of the night sane.  

He huffs out a laugh and then shakes his hair out of his eyes in a very attractive manner. “It was… well, it was something, I’ll tell you that much. But you don’t have to apologize. I don’t mind.” Then Jeongguk looks at you with his chin tilted down, lids low, almost glazed over like he’s checking you out but his gaze just dances over the features of your face. 

You get incredibly shy with him staring at you like that. 

Let’s hope you aren’t turning tomato red right now. 

“Jimin and Tae go out a lot so I’m used to making sure they don’t, like, die.” 

Jeongguk is like Jeongyeon in that sense. Always taking care of people and making sure they are safe in bed before worrying about themselves. Sometimes, she forgets that she’s allowed to have fun and let loose too and you don’t want Jeongguk to fall into the same mindset. Being the caretaker all the time can be draining. 

“I mean, it’s your birthday and the rest of us were getting fucked up. Usually, it’s the other way around.” 

Your 20th was nothing short of a hot mess. Nayeon snuck in bottles she got her older brother to buy and you tried to take a shot from every single type he brought. Whiskey, vodka, soju, sake, and beer. Safe to say, that was a rookie mistake that ended up hunched over a toilet bowl  for almost an hour. Nayeon held your hair while Jeongyeon ordered just enough carbs and hangover soup to make it all better. 

But it was a memory you hold dear to you because it was one of the last moments you felt like it was okay for you to be a stupid teenager and make a mistake.

Jeongguk didn’t get that moment and you want him to because that sloppy behavior won’t be cute when he’s in his late 20s or early 30s. 

“I didn’t want to,” he shrugs simply. “Drinking is sorta fun but I don’t love it and I never let myself get super drunk.” You want to ask why but Jeongguk continues speaking. “But we had cake and barbecue before coming to the club and my parents sent a care package, so it was a good birthday. Taking care of you guys didn’t ruin everything.” 

You relent a little. Perceptions of fun are different after all and maybe, for Jeongguk, he got exactly what he wanted so he isn’t complaining. The residual guilt fades slowly inside of you.

“As long as you enjoyed your birthday,” you sigh, a wave of something sentimental coming over you causes your heels to raise up so you can be tall enough to ruffle his fluffy perfect hair. The same boy who only dressed in Pokémon shirts is now legal, old enough to do whatever he wants, and you’re starting to feel a little soft about it. “Can’t believe you’re twenty!” You squeal. “You’re all grown up!” 

Jeongguk cringes, turning away from your constant pinches and prods and whining as a few eyes drift towards the two of you. His ears get the tiniest bit red but he doesn’t scold you so you continue teasing him. 

“Remember when you used to hand draw all of my birthday cards with little cartoons and you and Eunchae would come with my mom and I to look at all of the cakes at the store?”

The filmstrip of memories is painfully nostalgic. That one nice cake store a few streets away from your apartment building that made the best cakes. If you close your eyes, you can smell the sugary air as you walk in, a tinkling bell on the door to let the owners know someone was there, and the various cakes put in the display case. You always got the fudgiest chocolate cake with bright red strawberries on top. Your mom could only afford the small size but that was fine. You just wanted a cake. 

Jeongguk would come with you and press his face to the glass in complete awe. Sometimes, the three of you would pretend like you were rich people who got to buy big cakes whenever they pleased and you’d pick the biggest sizes of your favorite flavors. 

You always got chocolate, Jeongguk got some sort of fruit while Eunchae would get red velvet and you would dream of the day when you had enough money to indulge yourself on a whim. . 

Then, when Jeongguk’s mom opened up her bakery, she began making your birthday cakes so the three of you sort of got your wish but those were free. Made with love and compassion until you moved too far to feel it. 

“You still remember all of that?” He asks. The stone pathway turns. A signal that the economics building is getting closer by the second. 

Trying not to think about it, you answer him. “Of course, why wouldn’t I?” You’ve always had impeccable memory but you treasured every second of your childhood. 

Because your later teens, in Seoul and away from all that you knew, were terrible. 

“I barely remembered what I ate yesterday,” Jeongguk laughs, staring over at you. “That’s pretty impressive.” 

“You think so?” You turn to look at him when you feel his eyes linger for longer than usual. His stare isn’t piercing but it leaves a viable imprint on your skin like a thick layer of lotion. “What?” You get self-conscious. Is there something in your hair? Did a bird shit on you without you noticing? 

“I like your hair,” Jeongguk says after a moment, pointing to the clear clip holding all of your hair up. 

A few of the shorter strands come out from the tight hold with time, framing your face, while the rest remain bunched up with a large claw clip. It’s such an effortless look. This morning you were too lazy to fully style your hair with a hair dryer and a brush after spending too much time on it for your sham date with Wooshik. It’s starting to get a little greasy so you plan to wash it tomorrow but this is your go-to dirty hair look. 

“Oh, thanks.” A goofy grin nearly breaks out onto your face but you stop it halfway. “I like your earrings.” You want to return Jeongguk’s compliment with one of your own. Your pointer finger runs through the three thick hoops like a wind chime, causing Jeongguk’s shoulder to rise up thanks to the ticklish sensation, getting shy. “How on earth did your mom allow all of these piercings?” 

Mrs. Jeon lost her shit when a 14-year-old you greeted her with a second hole in your ears when she was coming home from the grocery store.  An upperclassman offered to pierce everyone’s ears using the nurses supplies in exchange for cigarettes or candy from a nearby convenience store. Since she was your guardian for the day while your mom was out for a certification exam, she felt irresponsible but you assured her that your mom was okay with it. 

Well, she had no idea at the time but you knew she’d get over it at some point. It was a second ear piercing, not like you got a tattoo on your forehead. 

“These were all presents, actually.” Your fingers brush the back of his palm as you get closer to the economics building at the end of the road, a little before the sidewalk down the main road begins, as your dread multiplies. “I learned that from you. Convinced mom and dad that my good grades warranted some award and they had no choice but to say yes.”

A dangerously familiar feeling mixed with pride courses through your veins like the newest drug. Jeongguk says he doesn’t remember much but he manages to reach in and pull out a sickly sweet memory from your childhood that has your insides turning into mush. You almost want to wrap your arms around your stomach to get it to stop flipping so much. 

You didn’t ask for much as a kid. Growing up you knew that money was tight so expensive things like the best console or brand name clothes were simply out of the question. But you liked to barter with your mom for more simple things. A good grade for ice cream or a day at the beach or a trip to the bookstore to buy a manga edition you’ve been waiting to read. 

It wasn’t all the time but when you felt like you wanted to celebrate yourself. You earned it after all. 

Then you got a little older and you wanted to become like the cool older girls you went to school with. So you dropped ice cream for piercings, nail polish, and CDs from all of the new idol groups that were popular at the time. Your mom was frugal of course, most of your stuff was cheap from the local dollar store or second hand markets, but she loved to treat you. She wished she could spoil you one day, buy you everything you could lay your eyes on, however the universe didn’t allow her to do that. 

She still can’t but that’s okay. You’re glad you didn’t grow up a spoiled brat. That you learned humility and patience and empathy because it’s those traits that set you apart from most of your classmates. 

“I taught you well.” Fingers itching to flick his chin, you hold back. You don’t want to make him uncomfortable with all of the touching. 

Jeongguk hums. “Got these and these,” he turns his head to the other side to show you almost five studs in his ear, “after my class rank and CSAT score came out.”  

“Didn’t that hurt?” 

You do your best to keep your eyes either on the ground or on Jeongguk as the almighty building comes into view. Despite the heavy beating in your chest, your inner turmoil shouldn’t be obvious. 

Jeongguk doesn’t need to know about your problems. Those are yours and yours alone. 

“Yeah but it wasn’t unbearable. I swear, Eunchae almost passed out when she got her doubles. She hates needles.” 

You laugh. “I remember. Your sister was freaking out when we were all getting our vaccines because she literally slithered down onto the floor the moment she saw the thing.” 

Jeongguk hums. There’s a small break in the conversation as the two of you pass by a huge yet short wave crowd of people who are either rushing to the cafeteria or to their next class but even through all of that, you can feel eyes all over the two of your backs. Especially yours. 

Your department members linger by the vending machines and smoking areas in little judgmental pods,  whispering about you amongst themselves. 

You can predict what they’re saying. 

There she goes again, latching onto another guy after Wooshik dumped her poor pathetic ass. 

Will she ever learn? 

Poor thing. He probably doesn’t know that he’s dealing with the campus whore. 

That word. That one word, repeats in your mind. Whore, whore, whore. That’s all you’ll ever be to them. 

Fear sets in. What will they say about Jeongguk? Will he get teased? Will he find out about your reputation and want nothing to do with you afterwards? No, the last thing you want is for him to get tangled in all of this. He shouldn’t have to deal with all of this. Know about all of the things people whisper about you when they think you aren’t listening.

At some point, he’ll find out. No matter how hard you try to hide it, push it down, pretend everything is okay, Jeongguk will come to know what everyone thinks of you and all of the nasty vitriol they throw your way. 

And when he does, you’re going to have to learn to let go of whatever you two have right now and whatever builds in your heart until all you have left to cling to Jeongguk are the sweet memories of your life in Busan. 

Because that’s how it goes for you. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Jeongguk stumbles into his apartment and throws his backpack onto his gaming chair, quickly calculating the amount of free time he has right now. 

 He has a group match in about two hours for League of Legends and he plans on canceling on them since he had to wake up early today. Jeongguk’s sleep schedule was fucked up all summer and suddenly, waking up at 6am instead of going to bed around then was quite literally torture. 

There’s no guilt when Jeongguk texts them. He doesn’t owe his teammates anything, not like he’s joined a real league anyways. He has other priorities. 

Now that he’s a student again, his sleep schedule sort of matters. His mother would cry learning about the absolute buffoonery he was committing over summer session with his new league he met online. Playing various games until the sun was peeking through his blinds and then ordering breakfast from McDonald’s while entering another battle. Usually that would entice him but all he feels is exhaustion. 

Most of it is from lugging his heavy ass backpack around all day in the sun. Some of it is still from this weekend. There’s a reason Jeongguk isn’t an avid partier. 

Quickly, he throws whatever pre-packaged dish he bought into the microwave and changes out of his school clothes into some sweatpants and a different shirt. All part of his usual after school routine. Then he carefully takes the steaming plate out once it’s done and sets it on the counter to cool before going to the bathroom to wash his hands. 

As he walks through his hall, something presses into the soles of his feet. It’s soft but flexible and round with a hard plastic bit strung onto it that digs into his skin.

“Ouch!” He stops midway, moving his foot and staring at the mystery item. Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow at first. 

It looks like one of Taehyung’s many charm bracelets that he buys from those street vendors in Hongdae with the cute little charms around colored string. Jeongguk has one from him ( a black string with a baby pink bunny charm that he wears every now and then). The idiot probably dropped it while singing karaoke or doing his Scarface impersonation to make Jimin laugh. Jeongguk takes his phone out to text the guy but he realizes that Taehyung hasn’t been to his apartment in a few days. 

The only other person that has been here was… you. 

He bends down to look at the bracelet. Were you wearing one that night? Your bracelets didn't look like this. They were metal, not string. Jeongguk bends at the knees and picks it up. The string is elastic and stretchy but loose enough to fit around his wrist if needed. 

Oh, it’s a hair tie. 

You must’ve dropped it when you slept over. Jeongguk turns the thing around to see the charm. The elastic itself is plain black but the charm seems to be some Sanrio character that he recognizes but cannot remember the name of.

Hello Kitty? No, he knows her and she doesn’t look like this. 

Cinnamoroll? No, that’s a puppy. This is some weird purple looking thing. 

My Melody? Maybe. 

Fuck, he doesn’t have time to worry about this. Jeongguk shoves the damn thing in his pocket, makes a mental reminder to text you about it after eating lunch, and goes to quickly wash his hands. His fingers push the door open to his bathroom. Clean white tiles, the scent diffuser smelling of white musk, and his TMNT towel drying on the rack. 

Jeongguk looks up at himself in the mirror. His eyes are sunken in and a little swollen from the lack of sleep. His stomach rumbles as he lathers his hands in his fresh cotton hand soap. 

But all he can think about is you on that night. 

Saturday Night. 

The night felt never-ending. 

Jeongguk was doing his best to get everyone in a car ride home safely after song after song on the dance floor but he was getting a little overwhelmed with all that was thrown onto him in the span of a few short minutes when Nayeon decided she wanted to go home.

Laughing, tripping, complaining about vomiting, a smell coming from some random spot that’s making someone nauseous, Jeongguk felt like a parent trying to get their kids together. His phone was glued to his hands to call cabs and type in addresses while making sure the five of you didn’t wander off into the unknown without his supervision. 

Thankfully, one of your friends managed to usher the other into a cab and Jimin was able to shove a whiny Taehyung into the one Jeongguk had ordered so now all he had left was you. 

Drunk you was something else. Stuck onto him like a second layer, arms twined tightly around his waist, mumbling about something random while stumbling over every step. Jeongguk had half a mind to just pick you up and walk to where the guy had parked but he didn’t want to make your nausea even worse by swinging you around.  

“Wait! Jeongguk, I can’t find my phone, we have to go back,” you whined, tugging on his arm with one hand. “I-I can’t–hiccup–I can’t live without my-my phone!”

You were clutching your phone in your other hand. 

He sighed. “You’re holding it,” motioning to the device pressed into your fingers. “Come on, the cab is parked there.” The yellow thing looked like something descending from the heavens while the driver finished the last of his cigarette and belched loud enough for Jeongguk to hear. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Are you really sure?”

“Yes.” 

“Okay, I trust you.” You mumbles, hugging him close like he was a large pillow. 

The next few minutes passed by a bit quicker as you let Jeongguk help you into the car and started on your way back to his apartment since you and your friends were incapable of remembering your address. 

He leaned against the tough upholstery as the car began moving. Muscles tight and tired. Jeongguk felt the rivulets of sweat dripping down on his neck which he quickly wiped off and onto his pants, something he usually doesn't do but he’s at the state of not really giving a fuck about clothes he’s going to wash anyways. His body bobbles with a shaky turn and somehow, your limp body ends up pressed into his side, head leaning on his chest while a muffled groan leaves your painted lips.

“Ah s-sorry,” you slurred, attempting to sit up by placing a hand on Jeongguk’s mid-thigh. “I forgot to put on my belt.”  Your perfume flowed to him, a soft clean scent, maybe a bit sucrose when mixed with the scent of your shampoo. 

“Oh, the belt is finicky on that side, ma’am.” The driver informs. He meets both of your eyes in the rearview mirror. “It’s okay. Lean on your boyfriend for the rest of the drive. Should only take a few more minutes!” 

Jeongguk opens his mouth to correct but you interrupt him with a giggle. His head switches to you, mouth covered, skin dimpling. “Boyfriend.” You repeat. 

The driver plays along, most likely very confused, just like Jeongguk. “You two make a lovely couple.”

That next statement makes you giggle a little more. Jeongguk wants to know what is so funny about this cab driver assuming the two of you are dating. Do you find the hypothetical to be so insanely outrageous that it’s hilarious?  Should he even bother asking or should he let it go to save himself the pain from hearing your brazenly honest answer?

Jeongguk chooses to ignore it. He knows another turn is coming up so he raises his left arm and nudges you closer to rest on him comfortably. That same arm circles around your shoulders and the top of your head tickles the bottom of Jeongguk’s nose. You’re warm and comforting after a long night, bringing up a slew of feelings he’s been pushing down for years at this point. 

Still mumbling to yourself, you become distracted with the jewelry on Jeongguk’s hand so you don’t hear the questions that the cab driver throws your way. 

“How long have you two been dating?” He asks, turning down the late night radio station playing old hits. 

Jeongguk just goes along with it. “It’s-uh-very recent, sir.” A four hour relationship to be exact. “But I’ve known her since we were kids.” 

“How cute! My wife and I only dated for a few months before I proposed, you know,” he proclaims proudly, shoulders broadening. Jeongguk nods and fakes a grin in hopes that the conversation ends here. 

Jeongguk wants to laugh. Marriage? 

He’s never even been in a relationship before. He’s barely gone past kissing someone for longer than two minutes. With the way things are going, Jeongguk will probably live his life exactly like Steve Carell in the movie The 40-year-old Virgin only there’s no way he’ll get a happy ending. 

The cab driver laughs to himself when he sees the look on Jeongguk's face before turning the music back up. You’ve successfully knocked out on Jeongguk’s chest so you miss the faint redness creeping up his neck and to his ears but it’s not something he wants you to see either. His brain zeros in on his own pathetic state of affairs. 

He’s always prided himself on his emotional maturity for someone so young but romantically? Horrendous. 

Jeongguk has always stood behind the belief that he simply isn’t meant to be in a relationship with anyone. Sometimes he can be too shy, too closed off, and people don’t gravitate towards people like that. They want someone who can be openly affectionate after a few conversations and Jeongguk simply isn’t the type. The only reason why he has friends like Taehyung and Jimin is because they made an effort to get to know him at his pace. It’s the same with you, who was older and a girl but you still made the effort to invite Jeongguk to watch Barbie movies or search for coins to get the cheapest candy at the convenience store. People usually don’t care after he brushes them off a few times but you did, Taehyung and Jimin did, and Jeongguk gets all fuzzy inside. 

Would he ever find someone like you three again? Would he ever be so lucky? Probably not. 

He looks over at your face smushed against his chest, playing with the zipper of his jacket. You’re so pretty, always have been, always will be, like a rare flower. Even after all of this time, he’s so taken aback by how effortlessly beautiful you are; on the outside and the inside. The way your hair falls delicately over your face, cheeks puffed, lips puckered; the way your shirt gives you an angelic look and your necklace lies perfectly in the middle of your collarbones. 

It’s enticing. Jeongguk can’t take his eyes off of you. He never could. 

Fuck, this random reunion might do more harm than good if Jeongguk doesn’t learn to control himself. This isn’t the time to reawaken old feelings that he pushed down for a good reason. 

Once the cab stops in front of his apartment building, Jeongguk pays him and then helps you out of the car. Body limp and slippery like slinky. 

“No, I forgot how to walk,” you mumbled, leaning against one of the pillars outside the building to keep yourself up straight. “Can’t I just sleep here? It’s comfortable.”

“That’s a concrete pillar.” Jeongguk runs a hand through his slightly dampened hair. “Come on, there’s an elevator and I don’t live too high up. You’ll sleep better on my bed.” 

A pout grows stronger on your face, a few streaks of something black collecting in the corner of your eyes and your lipstick is smeared a little but Jeongguk still finds you so put together and exquisite. Still like that rare flower on top of a mountain peak; beautiful yet impossible to reach. 

“Fine.” You peel yourself off the pillar. “But if you’re lying to me, I’m gonna pinch those cute little cheeks right off your face.” Squishing his flesh momentarily before dropping your hands, Jeongguk blinks a few times in shock. 

Focus, Jeon. She needs to rest. 

Getting you inside is easier than he thought. The promise of the elevator and a warm bed with some water turned you much more docile. But you’re still enamored by his rings which you slip on and off his fingers as the elevator beeps. Then, Jeongguk slips off your shoes and tells you to wait by the kitchen counter while he rifles through his things, handing you a shirt and directing you to the bathroom.

A loud sigh escapes his lips once he’s all alone. Jeongguk has about ten seconds to change himself. He’s been in these tight jeans that squeeze his legs like anything. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone so hard in the gym over the summer. Now most of his old clothes don’t fit him as well as they used to. 

Quickly, he throws on his pajamas just as you emerge from the bathroom and hum a random song from tonight. 

Then, he helps you into bed, groaning out at the soreness in his muscles from all of the lifting he’s been doing today.  You don’t fight back too much, clearly worn out, so you sink into the soft padding easily like a little kitten. He throws the blankets over you, does a quick check to see if you’re okay, and then gets into his own makeshift bed made out of a thin mattress and a set of sheets. 

It’s not nearly as comfortable as his own bed and his back might be mad at him tomorrow but it’ll do for now. 

Just as Jeongguk is beginning to fall into deep sleep, he hears you rusting around, mumbling under your breath about something. Your hands push yourself up on your elbows. For a second, he thinks you’re going to throw up so he gets up quickly and makes his way to his kitchen to grab a plastic bag. 

But you start speaking louder. 

“I can’t believe you, Seojoon.” Your hair sticks out from every corner as you flop back down, lips bloated and pouty, slapping around the comforter and pointing to no one. “I hate you.” Jeongguk’s eyebrow raises, pausing in the middle of his kitchen to decipher what on earth you are talking about.

Clearly, you’re having a nightmare. Jeongguk takes quiet steps back to his spot on the floor in order to avoid that one squeaky 

“You cheated on me with Somin, didn’t you? You bastard. You told me you loved me,” whining, your body twists around. “Why else would I let you fuck me?” 

Jeongguk reels his brain back to stop the curious sympathy right there. He doesn’t want to prod further into this bad dream involving a fight with an ex of some sort. It’s none of his business and clearly this wasn’t meant for him to hear. All he does care about is if you’re going to vomit or not. 

He calls your name. “Are you okay?” Jeongguk whispers. 

You don’t respond. Instead, your face twists in discomfort as you continue to mumble into his mattress and writhe around. 

Jeongguk grows increasingly worried. He doesn’t want you to choke or anything of the sort while he’s deep in REM. Slowly, he gets down on his knees to get a closer look at you tossing and turning.  

“It hurts so much.” 

Jeongguk gently places a hand on your arm, saying your name softly so you don’t wake up. “Hey, you okay? Do you want water?” You twist away from his touch at first. “It’s me, it’s me, it’s Jeongguk,” reminding you as your lids barely part. He thinks you register him, that maybe you’re somewhat awake right now as you begin to curl forward. 

But then your hands clasp Jeongguk’s arms tightly, restricting his every move. 

“You’re going to leave me, aren’t you?” Your voice slurs, the tip of your nose meeting the fabric of his shirt, fingers digging into the flesh hard enough to leave indents. 

Nothing but confusion clouds Jeongguk’s brain. What are you talking about? 

“You told me you loved me. What? Don’t you want me anymore?”  

Tightening around him, you bury your face into his neck again. Your arms begin to raise, wrap around his shoulders to bring your body closer to his rigid frame. Jeongguk feels wetness from your eyes begin to drip onto his skin, dampening his shirt.

“Just do it then. Just leave me. No one ever sticks around anyways. Guys always leave me the moment something new comes along. Every single one,” you enunciate, vibrating into him, crying softly. “You don’t even care about how much you hurt me. No one cares.” 

Jeongguk is paralyzed under your hold as your tears start to roll down. Your sobs are loud and erratic and painful, as if all of this hurt has building until you eventually couldn’t hold onto it anymore. That it took alcohol and a long night to wedge it out of you. 

It’s contradictory; holding him tight and telling him to leave you.

But he doesn’t push you away and he doesn't let go. Jeongguk lets you grip onto him for safety because he’s terrified that removing his touch could break you even further. 

 He doesn’t know what is happening in your dream to make you behave like this, he doesn’t know what made the previous glee that used to make your eyes bright fade away after all of those years passed. He wants to ask but he doesn't know how. 

All Jeongguk does know is that you were different. Not in a good or bad way but you were simply different.  The happy go lucky little girl grew into a hardened adult. When he looked into your eyes tonight, he saw traces of all of this hurt woven alongside other emotions. Like a heavy blanket that only pushes you further and further deeper into a more melancholic way of being. 

And as he helps you back into bed once your tears stop falling, rubs some cooling Vicks rub on your forehead and pulls the cover close, his brain turns into an echo chamber until he tires himself to sleep. 

No one ever sticks around anyways. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

A week has passed and while you thought you could gain control of your physics plight, it seems like the universe has some different plans. 

The tutor that you selected, a second year girl who is majoring in electrical engineering, has been a total flake. You exchanged numbers with her on Thursday during Week 1 and she fed you all of these sweet words about wanting to become friends and teaching in a friendly, kind way which immediately softened you. The last thing you wanted was for some dickhead to call you stupid because you didn’t understand the concept the first time. 

She said she’d meet you at the library that Saturday at 3pm to come up with a schedule and she never showed. So you rescheduled to Sunday, then Monday, then Tuesday and now you just feel like an idiot. 

There’s always some excuse. Either she slept in or she’s not feeling well or her roommate needs her but you’re losing your damn mind right now. 

“You’re not paying her, right?” Jeongyeon asks, rummaging through Nayeon’s bag for something. “Maybe she’s a scammer?” 

You give her a dull look. “She doesn’t get paid by me. I think the university does or she’s earning credits, I don’t know. But I’m fucked for the big quiz we have next week.” 

It’s only Week 2 but the material is daunting and frankly put, you’ll shit your pants the day of the actual quiz and whatever date the final is. This is all so unfamiliar to you and, unlike other subjects, you struggle to find that area where the content becomes interesting. All you feel is terror. 

Nayeon, ever the optimist, tries to lift your spirit. 

“Girl, that shit is next week. Do yourself a favor, find a new tutor, study a whole bunch and then ace the quiz. There’s no point in waiting for this random girl to start caring. It’s your grade after all.” 

“Yeah but I just don’t want someone that’s going to be an asshole when I get things wrong.” 

People love to dumb you down, especially those in your own department. Obviously your promiscuity directly correlates to your intelligence. Girls can only be slutty or smart, right? There exists no gray area. But you know yourself. Even if science and math aren’t your thing, you’re a smart person. You got into a top performing university without any fancy prep classes or coaches and you are consistently pulling good grades each semester. That speaks more about you and your capabilities than anything else. 

“I’ve heard this one guy is pretty good. He’s a teacher’s assistant pursuing his masters degree here.” Nayeon takes her phone out to look him up. “My friend was in his Chemistry group sessions and he was apparently super helpful and kind. I think he does physics too. Let me ask her.” 

You perk up. It would be perfect if you could land a tutoring session with this TA instead of your missing student tutor. Even if it’s a group setting

“Let me know what your friend says.” You look away from the two in front of you for a split second as your attention was cut by your phone vibrating on the table. Flipping it over you see a text from your flakey tutor herself. 

Reading it over, you roll your eyes heavily. Another lame excuse about her skipping out on your tutoring session because she scheduled a meeting with her professor at the exact same time by accident. You ignore it and plan to respond with a passive aggressive rejection to end all of this bullshit. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Jeongyeon and Nayeon try to discreetly take their edibles before digging into the food you all ordered. 

Steaming plates of rice, kimchi, stir-fry and meats along with a few fried foods makes your stomach grumble. You flip your phone back over and grab your chopsticks, changing the subject quickly. 

“What are you guys doing after this?” You ask. The edibles are going to last a while and considering a weed high has different stages, there’s no way these two are going to be eating the entire time. Munchies aren’t that strong. 

Jeongyeon wiggles her eyebrows suggestively to her girlfriend, cheeks full like a chipmunk, and Nayeon turns beet red. Enough context for you to figure it out, breaking into a fit of giggles. 

“Ohhh, I see.” 

Good for them. If only you were getting laid too. Lately, your vibrator has been your best friend late at night when your mind wanders. 

With thirteen settings, it’s safe to say you won’t be getting bored for a while. 

However, you’ve never done it while being high. You’d want to do it with someone you’re comfortable with, maybe a consistent trustworthy hookup and only if consent is 100% enthusiastic, but you can only imagine how heightened the senses feel. 

Getting lost in thought, you cross one of your legs over the other, thinking about the haziness parting as you ride them slow but deep. Your hands will grip their shoulders, nails digging into the tight flesh as the drag of their length is delicious inside of you. Moaning out loud at how full you feel, watching the sharp bone of his jaw unhinge with pleasure, thick silver earrings brushing your skin, dark hair between your fingers as you increase the pace and drive the two of  you to the tipping point. 

It sounds… so satisfying. 

Fuck, okay, you need to get some control over yourself. It must be the week before your period or something because your mind has been cooking up these scenarios that demand attention. 

And most of the time it involves some familiar looking yet faceless character giving you the best dick you’ve ever gotten. It’s really messing with you. 

How the fuck are you going to be Miss Celibacy if your ass can’t go a week without sex? 

You stab your chopsticks into a large chunk of tofu and stare at the red sauce over the surface before shoving it into your mouth in hopes of distracting you when an angry recognizable voice flutters past your table. 

“..and this bitch has the nerve to look me dead in the eye and go, ‘well, you just lost yourself a customer,’ as if any of us give a shit. Like ma’am I get paid minimum wage to make watery coffee and reheat cardboard sandwiches regardless of your purchase, please leave me alone and die.” 

Turning your head, you see tufts of blonde and shiny boots combined with the soft smell of peaches: Jimin. 

And right next to him is none other than Jeon Jeongguk who is chuckling at Jimin’s whiny Karen tone to describe his awful customer. His cheeks creasing, eyes getting shinier and cute. 

You can feel your body thrum with excitement. 

“Hey guys!” Nayeon waves, setting down her utensils. They turn to look at her, then Jeongyeon and then at you, bowing while greeting. Your shoulders cave in when you feel Jeongguk’s stare on your face. “Do you wanna eat lunch with us?”

“Hell yeah. Is the menu today good?” Jimin asks.  

Jeongyeon, with a mouth full of food, nods excitedly which is perfect. Jeongguk and Jimin laugh, motioning to the lunch line quickly so you save the table and go back to eating your lunches. Your brain demands another curious glance at Jeongguk’s retreating figure. 

What? He looks really fucking sexy from the back. 

Ever since the first day of school,  you agreed to ride the subway back with Jeongguk on the days you end class at the same time and you've come to the conclusion that he is quite literally the hottest guy on the entire planet. Hotter than any other guy you’ve wasted your time with. 

He has the most boyish features but his body is perfectly crafted. Wide shoulders, defined thighs and arms, a super sculpted back, but not overly burly where he looks fake. Like an exquisite marble statue from the Hellenistic period. 

Yes, yes, you know it’s sort of weird considering the fact that you’ve  watched grow up from a cute kid to an emo pre-teen and now jumping to the absolute meal he is now but it’s just some simple attraction. 

One that rears its ugly head whenever Jeongguk laughs or smiles or pushes his hair out of his face or tongues his cheek or does literally anything. 

There are a million reasons why this could’ve happened. From all the time spent together from the subway rides to morning coffee and dinner one night (with all of your friends but it still counts) or you’re thinking this silly little attraction might be a combination of a lack of dick, PMS and pure loneliness. Either way, it isn’t anything major. 

Finding a way to ignore it is the next step.

Nayeon nudges you. “Remind me again, how exactly are you two childhood friends?” Her cheeks puffed with food.  

“Oh, I lived in Busan until high school and he was my neighbor. I would always hang out with him and his two sisters.” You explain, taking another bite of soft sticky rice. 

“Older sisters?”

You shake your head. “One older and one younger.” Wondering why this is relevant. 

But then, Nayeon and Jeongyeon make eye contact, eyebrows raising like they do when they know something you don’t. Meanwhile, you’re just sitting there like an idiot, waiting for context with your chopsticks held halfway up to your mouth. 

“Green flag. Bright green fucking flag.” Jeongyeon whistles. 

“Huh?”  Your chopsticks barely prod your lip without your mouth opening. Did the edibles pull out some secret stoner knowledge that you aren’t aware of? 

Jeongyeon decides to explain it to you. “According to the girlies on tiktok, men with older sisters are usually green flags. Something about learning gentleness and patience and respecting women from an early age or whatever. I don’t get you heteros so it went past my head.” 

You’re puzzled at first. These men all have mothers, they came from a woman who nursed them and cared for them until now, why is having an older sister so different?

But then it hits you. 

The way Jeongguk treats you is so different from the way most guys treat you. There’s no domineering masculinity coming from him in heavy waves trying to overpower you. It’s softer. He’s so approachable and gentle. He never touches you unless you’re okay with it, he’s always polite and kind and sweet. He never makes you feel stupid or inadequate, doesn’t talk over you, nothing of the sort. 

And while it’s the barest of minimum, Jeongguk makes you feel safe. 

Even Jeongyeon and Nayeon, who are often not comfortable around straight men, found him to be a delight. That has to mean something. 

“I…I never thought about it,” your voice goes a little husky. Tucking a stray piece of hair out of your face as your cheeks get a little warm. “He’s just a good guy, you know.  Jihyo, his sister, always kept him in check. I guess, it’s a good thing.” 

Kids lead by example. Growing up in an environment where the adults around you were treating women poorly or pushing people around will appear in relationships. But Jeongguk was the opposite. 

“It is. Think about it,” Nayeon leans in, “after all of those duds you’ve been with, he’s just what you’re looking for.” 

The way your heartbeat accelerates is not a good sign. 

Your chin pulls back, like you’re leaning away from the possibility. “What? I’m not gonna date him, Nayeon,” you groan under your breath. 

“Why not?” She whines, slamming her fists onto the table, then laughing slightly at the indents left on his skin. 

“Because he has no interest in dating right now,” you grumble, remembering his words from his birthday. 

Even if you did try to pursue it, there’s a high chance Jeongguk might only see you as his older sister’s friend. Which is how it should be! It’s best that you let this silly little crush die like a lonely star and maintain your promise of making this year all about you. Your bullet vibrator is going to have to help you whenever you get the urge but besides that, no sex, no dates, no boys, nothing of the sort. 

“Did he tell you that?” Jeongyeon asks, eyes glazing over. The weed must be hitting pretty hard. You’re surprised they can keep up with this conversation. 

Then again, they’re probably used to it. 

You nod. “At the club.” Snorting, your eyes briefly flick to the other side of the cafeteria where a certain someone sits. “Juri offered him her number and he said he wasn’t going to go out with her.”

That seems to wake the brunette up. “Fuck, really? I wish I saw that,” she pouts, leaning on the blonde curled up next to her. Cute. 

“Well, he didn’t say no since you two started fucking hazing him the moment you saw him,” you scold. “But he told me he was going to reject her if/when he saw her in person.” 

“Hey! You were the one who directed us to shoo away any man that came up to you that night.” Nayeon defends. “We were just listening to instructions when we came over to stop you two.” 

Jeongyeon joins in. “Yeah, and he looked like your usual type so we assumed we should pull you away. How were we supposed to know the super hot guy you were talking to was a friend?” 

You open your mouth to quip back when you feel a presence behind you, casting a shadow on your back. The lingering smell of cologne and food dance in the air. A wave of despair crashes inside of your stomach and you really wish a black hole would open up right under to sweep you away from this hellscape. 

“What are you guys talking about?” 

Taehyung Jimin split to sit on the bench between Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s bench and yours. It's a square shaped table with four benches on each side, so enough space for two people per bench. The two couples share a bench while you and Jeongguk get your own, although he still sits closer to you on his own bench. 

“U-uh–” Jeongyeon stutters, looking at you with wide eyes for help. 

“Oh, just some guy,” you fake a laugh, flicking some hair out of your face and turning to food so you can shovel it in your face like a starved person. 

Taehyung laughs a little. “Just some guy? Jeongyeon was saying that he’s super hot and your type.” He’s being cheeky, like he always is, but this time, you can’t engage in a back and forth with him. 

Because the hot sweet guy you were talking about is sitting right next to you. 

Your brain urges you to take a peek. Jeongguk is dressed like he usually is; a pair of baggy cargo pants and a light gray sweatshirt, and he always looks attractive. The fall wind is allowing you to smell the scent of his flowery shampoo in combination with his usual perfume and it’s such an addictive scent that you never want to forget. 

But you can’t think about that. You should be thinking of a lie. 

“I’ve always wondered if you had a boyfriend,” Jimin asks, resting his chin on his palm. A sly smirk forms on his lips, just as cheeky as his own boyfriend’s. “I asked Jeongguk and he said he didn’t know.” 

Fuck. You look at him now, hair swishing with your movements. The boy is eating without a care and shrugs in response. “You never mentioned one.” 

Yeah, because there isn’t one. You’ve never had a boyfriend in your life. 

Sweat beads your palms. There has to be some guy that you can just drop in here for the sake of the conversation. Some random guy out in this cafeteria that is insignificant enough to never cross paths with you again so you can nip this conversation right in the bud. 

You scan the place. There are a few guys you’ve already hooked up with so that’s a no. Some groups of first-years and that’s also a no (you’re not trying to catch a case here). 

For fucks’ sake, are the only hot guys at this school Jimin, Taehyung and Jeongguk? 

“Uh–”

Nayeon swoops in like a guardian angel. “We were talking about the Physics and Chem tutor. I don’t know if you guys have had him but, Kim Namjoon?” 

Right, the tutor Nayeon’s friend went to. The really nice one. 

She sends you a hidden wink from her end of the table and you respond with a quick finger heart. Bless her soul. 

“Joon? Oh, he is so hot.” Jimin, to your surprise, bounces at the chance to thirst over this supposed sexy tutor that you’ve never seen before. His eyes roll back at the sheer thought of him, leaning closer to gossip.  “He was our tutors for Physics 2 last semester and wow.” He shakes his head, marveled at such a man. “He could top me and then never speak to me again and I’d be okay with that.”

Now you’re curious about this Kim Namjoon. Just how hot is he? 

Taehyung jumps in. “I agree, however, “he holds a single finger up, “I would also like to add Kim Seokjin, the bio tutor.” His eyes roll back dramatically. “Dream threesome. Foursome if you want babe,” he nudges the blonde who blushes in agreement.  

Then the entire table breaks out into giggles and with a little coaxing, Nayeon and Jeongyeon reveal their ideal threesomes which you already know the answers to (Han Sohee and Irene from Red Velvet) since they share the same girl crushes. Then you answer begrudgingly which are the two male leads from Business Proposal because, obviously. However, the person next to you is rather quiet. You lightly nudge his side with your elbow to check in with him. 

“You okay?” You’re asking just in case Jeongguk isn’t comfortable with sex talk. 

But he nods. “Sorry, I’m still listening. Just really hungry. All I had for breakfast was a protein shake.” Jeongguk inhales the glazed stir-fry chicken on his plate, a dot of sauce landing on the corner of his lip and, oh my, do you want to wipe it off for him because he is so cute with his bready baby cheeks all puffed with food.

“Come on,” you pretend to scold. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” Jeongguk’s mom would weep if she heard about him skipping. 

He waves it off but you can see his ears get a little red. “Yeah, yeah, I know but I slept through my alarms so I was in a rush this morning. Almost pulled a Taehyung and crashed into the wall while trying to run out.” 

You laugh at the image. Taehyung can be a bit of a klutz. At the club on Jeongguk’s birthday, he almost crashed into an entire table because he was dizzy from doing tiktok dances all night. Your head throws back slightly, eyes fluttering shut, and when you open them again, Jeongguk’s eyes are on you. 

They feel explorative, searching every inch of your face like he doesn’t want to forget a single inch, lips quirked up in a half smile but it’s Jeongguk’s eyes that really take you aback. His eyes have never looked at you like that before. 

As if something is swimming deep in those pools of glimmery chocolate brown; something warm and sweet in there. 

“Sorry,” he blushes, turning his eyes away from your face and back onto his food. Your heart stops for a moment, looking down at his pillowy soft lips. They’re right there, moisturized and pink. All you really have to do is lean in. 

And with the way Jeongguk looks at you, you really fucking want to. 

He’s so beautiful. So pretty and sweet and kind and unlike any other guy you’ve ever wanted. The urge to go for him is almost primal that you can barely hold yourself back. 

Your friends are like little angels in your head, goading you on to just do it. Just kiss him and take him and then drop it. Satiate that part of you that needs sex, that needs to fucked just right, and then move on. It would be different than usual because Jeongguk is different from the previous men so you wouldn’t get hurt. 

Although… 

He’s Jihyo’s little brother, the boy who needed to hold your hand when crossing the street, the kid always on his skateboard or his nose buried in a manga. Would it tarnish everything that you find familiar to just go for it? Would years of a perfectly healthy happy friendship go right down the drain? 

But Jeongguk is an adult, only one year younger than you. There isn’t anything wrong. 

Ideally, you could just lean in and–

“Jeongguk, what was the name of the blue penguin in the Backyardigans? I really need to know like now,” Taehyung urges, breaking your train of thought immediately. 

You fly back as if the contact singes you, curling into yourself and placing a single hand on the surface of the table to catch your breath. You completely forgot about the whole conversation going on around you when you stared into Jeongguk’s pretty deep eyes. 

It’s clear as day to you. With the man he’s become, it’s obvious that you are definitely into Jeon Jeongguk. 

“Huh?” He rasps, slightly out of it too. “Oh-uh, Pablo. He’s the one that sings International Super Spy.” 

“Pablo! I knew it.” Taehyung snaps his fingers loudly. “How do you still remember that?”

Jeongguk awkwardly forces out a laugh. “We watched a few episodes together this summer, remember?” 

“Right. Pretty sure I was blazed out of my mind, though.” 

Jimin nudges him. “Babe, when are you not blazed out of your mind?”

“When I’m with you, baby boy,” he coos.  

The boy next to you groans out loud. “Ugh, you two are so nasty.” His voice is muffled by food but he still gets his point across. You bite back a giggle at the disgust on his face. 

“Jeongguk, you can’t be mean to us. It’s homophobic.” Jimin points a chopstick in his direction but Jeongguk simply shrugs and continues eating without a care. 

Jeongyeon pipes up. “I agree. That applies to you too, Queen of the Straights.” 

The direct hit has pulled you out of your internal panic, reminding you to contribute to the conversation like friends usually do. Your eyes dull a little. “Yes ma’am.”  Faking a soldier’s salute to make everyone laugh. 

You’re glad that everyone else seems oblivious to what just happened because you know that had the two of you been alone, the situation would be entirely different. 

And you don’t know if that outcome would be any better than this one. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

On Friday, classes get canceled. 

Thankfully, it’s nothing bad. All of the buildings are getting fumigated to keep out any infestations that might’ve crawled in over the summer since someone thought they saw a cockroach in the Arts building so all the professors decide to post the lecture information online or have virtual class if necessary. 

You had no complaints with this change. Attend class in your pajamas, in your bed, and have the option to fall asleep without getting caught? Sounds perfect. 

Although, no in person class means you don’t get to speak to your Physics professor to complain about your flakey tutor and find a new one which you were banking on completing before you had your huge quiz next week. So, once your final lecture ends, you begin to worry about how the hell you’re going to resolve that problem. 

Sure, you could easily self-review with the resources online but you’ve always learned more theoretical concepts with someone explaining it to you in person so you could ask questions immediately. 

You shut your laptop off and place it on top of the long coffee table you use as a desk. An open notebook with notes sits on your right, pen clicked off, highlighters placed neatly in your pencil case, and the silence of your studio apartment almost starts ringing in your ears. 

Who do you know that can tutor you for physics? 

Nayeon sent you the email address for the Namjoon person whom everyone is vouching for. You asked this morning  if he had any space in his tutoring session but he responded saying that he does but he isn’t having a session today and he’s happy to answer any questions over email or through a video call individually. 

You genuinely consider that option until you look up at the decor in your room that Namjoon has no chance of missing during the video call. 

Now, you wouldn’t call yourself a strange person, if anything you are a well-adjusted member of society,  but the pieces chosen to hang up in your studio apartment would raise some eyebrows. From the poster of Bibble from Barbie saying Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss to the concerning amount of Sanrio plushies you’ve collected over the years to all of the cat beds and toys thrown around the place and the impressive array of diffusers in every corner, your apartment is an amalgamation of you. 

And you don’t know if this Namjoon guy is going to take one look at the place and peg you down as a fucking weirdo or not. You want to make a good impression on him. 

So, you wrack your brain for a different option to help you just before your quiz next week. 

Someone. Anyone. 

Your worst bet is to walk over to the nearest cram school and ask someone there but those are all high school students and you’d die of embarrassment. 

Then you remember, Jeongguk took Physics last semester. Maybe he can help. 

Quickly, you pat around your duvet for your phone. It’s lying screen down a few inches away from Snowball’s sleeping body. Carefully, you grab the device, scroll through your contacts and call him with fiery hope coursing through you thickly.

“Hello?” His voice drips from the speakers like flowing water and you want to drown in it. 

“Hey, are you done with online classes?” You ask, on your back and knees to your chest in a very suggestive position. 

“Uh almost,” Jeongguk trails off. “Why? What’s up?”

You hold back a goofy smile at his distracted tone. “You know how you said you took physics last semester?” He hums in response. “Do you think you could explain a few concepts to me? I have this big ass quiz soon and I don’t wanna bomb it.” 

You wait. The pessimist in you expects a rejection, a flat out ‘I’d rather die than waste my time explaining physics concepts to a 21-year-old,’ but the optimist is waiting with a bouquet of roses on the other side. 

This is Jeongguk we’re talking about. Sweet, sweet, lovely Jeongguk. Not that dickhead that sits in the back of lecture and watches hentai on his phone. 

“Oh. I’m not the best teacher.”

Both the optimist and pessimist in your head are waiting on the balls of their feet. That wasn’t the answer you were expecting but it's an answer you aren’t hurt by! 

“That’s okay! I just need someone to go over it with me. As long as you aren’t mean, I won’t complain.” You want to appeal to Jeongguk in a way that’ll get the guy to bend a little and what other way to a man’s heart than food? “I’ll repay you with dinner,” you sing-song.  

There’s a brief pause, like he’s considering the option while noises mumble in the background. “What’s the menu?” Jeongguk asks. 

God, he’s so cute. Your cheeks are raised so high, they might as well curl into your eyes. 

“I live near a great fried chicken place.” Works out perfectly because you’ve been craving something fried for a while now. Must be your period. 

Jeongguk barely waits a second. “Sold. Text me the time and your address.”

You cut the call after bidding each other goodbye. A giddy squeal almost bubbles out of your lips until you realize that you have about two hours until Jeongguk is in your apartment for the first time ever. 

Alone. No friends. No family. 

Just you and this super hot guy. 

No interruptions. Complete privacy. 

You launch out of bed so fast that you wake up Snowball from her slumber. Quickly, you shower and you take your time to scrub your body with lilac body wash and shave. Usually Friday is your pamper day so this isn’t anything out of the ordinary. Then you wash your greasy hair to rid yourself of the conditioning hair mask you slathered on this morning. After your shower, you walk around your studio with your fluffy bathrobe and microfiber towel on to find the perfect outfit. 

It has to be comfortable but cute. Even though Jeongguk is just tutoring you and there is a high chance that this meeting will only be platonic, you still want to look your best. 

Rummaging through your dresser drawers and closet, your eyes immediately fall to your collection of baby-doll lingerie sets in various colors. An expensive purchase, but you’ve always enjoyed dressing up every now and then. Your fingers dance across the itchy lace, thinking about which one Jeongguk would like? Lilac? Baby pink? Maybe the nude one with the intricate designs on the cups? Or how about the blood red and black one that looks like it came straight out of a BDSM film? 

Nah, that’s too much. You go for yoga pants, a plain t-shirt and a quarter-zip with your university’s logo on it. Then selecting a lacy pair of underwear and no bra. You hate wearing one at home anyways. 

The clothes lay spread out on your bed as you begin your post shower process of lotion, deodorant, a soft scented body spray and then your clothes. Then, you dry your hair and then begin cleaning up the little clutter you have over the place. You’re a neat person, which others find shocking, so there isn’t much to do. You dry some dishes on the rack, reset your bedsheets, light up a candle, empty the litter box, and eat a mediocre salad as you wait for the clock to strike 5pm. 

Time moves at a microscopic pace, probably because you’re staring at the moving hands in hopes that you’ll blink at the pretty boy will be standing at your doorstep. You should focus on something else in the meantime. So you take out your physics notebook and begin reviewing. 

Next week’s quiz will be on a little under ½  of the energy chapter covered so far. You’ve been paying attention, taking diligent notes, and doing pretty good on the homework but the topics still freak you out.  

It’s a STEM thing. You haven’t taken one since your first year so you’re rusty and the material seems extra intimidating. Unlike Jeongguk, Jimin and Taehyung, you don’t study this on a daily basis. 

But there’s nothing you won’t be able to conquer without working. 

About halfway through your revision is when the buzz of your home intercom rings, shocking you out of your thoughts. Slowly, you get up, dusting the invisible particles off your clothes and going over to the machine to let Jeongguk in. There’s a short waiting game, lasting about two minutes, as he probably comes up from the lobby and reaches your door before knocking. 

You’re putting a kettle of water to boil as the sound resonates and you rush over to open the door with a bright smile on your lips. 

“Hey,” you breathe out, taking in the sights before you. 

As always, Jeongguk looks perfect in a gray long-sleeve t-shirt and black sweats. Like the comfy soft boyfriend of your dreams. His hair is a little damp at the ends but it waves a little past his eyebrow as it grows and his backpack straps pull his shirt wide to show off his broad shoulders. 

Fucking hell, you think. You want to eat him up and ruin him. 

Swallowing shakily, you step aside as he grins. “Hi.” Jeongguk’s voice is low, like usual, but a little buttery and less hoarse. Almost sexy. 

Basically, it’s doing things to you. 

Carefully, you lead him inside where Jeongguk takes his shoes off and stares at the place with those big eyes of his. You wonder what goes through that pretty head of his as he stares at the various stuffed animals and the wall art. But, instead, he lands on the Kirby shaped cat-bed at the base of your bed holding Snowball’s half-asleep body. 

“You have a cat?” He asks. 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you.” You walk in front of the thing, squatting down in front of the entrance to hold a hand out for the ball of fluff to sniff. Snowball headbutts you immediately. “You didn’t inherit your dad’s allergy, did you?” 

That would crush you. As much as you like dogs, you’re a cat person at heart or a Snowball person at heart. 

Jeongguk shakes his head no. Then he comes to the same spot you are and gets on his knees on the opposite side of you, watching with curious doe eyes. Slowly, Jeongguk extends his hand out, thinking Snowball needs time to get used to him like some cats do, but no. She’s friendly and extroverted, getting out of the bed to welcome Jeongguk with an excited soft-tone trill.

It’s heartwarming watching her melt into his touch, purring and climbing into Jeongguk’s lap the more he pets her on all of her favorite spots. 

“You’ve been accepted,” you muse, crossing your arms over your stomach in hopes that by pushing on it, that buttery, gooey, sugary feeling will go away. 

“Yay,” Jeongguk cheers cutely. “What’s her name?” 

“Snowball.” 

“Snowball!” He coos. “You are the cutest ever!” Jeongguk leans down to tell her, slight aegyo in his tone. The rounded tip of his nose brushes the top of her small head

No, you are, is what zings through your mind but don’t tell Snowball you thought that.  

Since your knees start screaming at you to get up, you leave Jeongguk and Snowball to go check on the kettle which is at its very end of boiling the water. You get up on your tiptoes to pull out two white mugs and before grabbing your go-to peach green tea packets, you ask Jeongguk. 

“Tea or coffee?” 

Jeongguk looks up from Snowball curled on his lap, the body of a bright grin on his lips. “Coffee please.” When you nod, he goes back to petting the white feline without another care. 

His adorable politeness removes any nerves you had or any prior sheepishness from the way your studio apartment looks. Small and decorated with all of your interests. The only people that have ever been here are your mother, Jeongyeon and Nayeon. Hookups were always at their place or a hotel so it’s a little odd to see Jeongguk seated on your floor. 

But at the same time, it’s Jeongguk on your floor so you aren’t that worried. 

Pouring the mugs with steaming hot water, you grab a packet of instant coffee while your tea bag steeps and you make Jeongguk his coffee. In the meantime, he’s seated by your coffee table/desk, shrugging his backpack off while Snowball sits beside Jeongguk diligently. Like she’s protecting him from whatever she thinks is going to attack him. 

“I like your place,” Jeongguk says, shocking you for a moment. “It’s very,” he trails off. “Very you.” 

You give him a dulled look over your shoulder. “What do you mean by that?”

“You know, it’s got all of your favorite things.” His chin gestures to the Sanrio stuffed animals, the various figurines from all of your favorite animes, the vintage posters, the bunny paraphernalia, all of your favorite things, like Jeongguk said. 

You turn, pressing the small of your back to the cold counter behind you. “Your place is nice too,” you add for the sake of returning the compliment, although it is true. 

Jeongguk shakes his head. “Yeah but, my landlord is a gaping asshole and hates the idea of posters and paintings since he’s scared it’ll fuck up the wall. It’s nice but it feels dead,” he gives your apartment one more look, “but yours has some personality, you know? I’m kinda jealous.” 

His smile is genuine, sweet and kind. You find yourself melting from the sheer sight of it but you hold yourself back. Don’t want to look too whipped.  

Exhaling with some laughter, you start bringing the mugs over along with some biscuits since it’s tea time. “The first apartment we had when we moved here was like that. The landlord didn’t even let my mom change the curtains even though the ones that came with the place had stains all over it.” Jeongguk grimaces at the thought. “But Mrs. Jeong from our Busan apartment was so nice.” 

What a sweet woman. She would often come down whenever she heard one of them had a cold or if there was a birthday and she was never harsh when your mother’s checks bounced or if she needed an extra day because she hadn’t gotten paid yet. She was the reason you thought all landlords had some semblance of empathy but no. 

“We lived there for about fifteen years. It sucked having to leave.” 

“Oh my god, I didn’t know you moved out!” You gasp, shifting yourself to face him completely. “Is your current place closer to the bakery?”

“No, it’s actually farther but it’s closer to the center of Busan so public transport is good. Plus, noona got a car so it’s not too bad.” 

You sigh. Fuck, you miss Busan so much. Even hearing the slight satoori in Jeongguk’s voice does wonders for your nostalgia as yours only peeks out when you’re angry thanks to teasing from all of the Seoul elitists. 

The beach, the food, the fresh air, the streets, you miss all of it. Such a simple time. You’ve always dreamed of settling there once you’ve figured your life out. It was your end goal. 

“I wanna hear more but let’s get physics out of the way first,” you tap your notebook twice and Jeongguk moves to his backpack to take some items out to start the tutoring session. 

And, to no one’s shock, Jeongguk is actually a really great tutor. 

He’s patient with you and doesn’t mind giving you constant encouragement when you get a bit insecure halfway through a word problem. On concepts you’re unsure about, Jeongguk explains them in the simplest way possible without getting haughty. No outbursts if you make the same mistake two times in a row, he never once calls you stupid or says you’re wasting his time. Jeongguk gently coaches you until you try to solve some problems on your own from the textbook without his help and he checks them afterwards, telling you what you did right and wrong.   

Quite literally, this is all that you wanted. 

Someone to answer your questions, explain a few concepts, and walk you through a couple of examples without questioning your smarts as a whole. 

It’s nice. You feel safe and even better, you feel actually prepared for the quiz which is the opposite of how you felt this morning. You aren’t even worried about it at all. 

After clearing through the sample quiz and practice problems easily in a matter of about 2 ½ hours, you two are all done tutoring. Which means freedom for the rest of the night. 

Quickly, you connect your laptop to the small TV mounted on the wall and put on Love Island since neither of you have watched it. Jeongguk is rather curious about it since Jimin and Taehyung won’t stop talking about it,  so you decide to jump into the newest season with him while leaning against your bed and pulling up the menu for the fried chicken place.

“I’m getting honey garlic,” you tell him when you hand him your phone.  

“Then, I’ll do the spicy cheese one.” He leans closer instead of taking the device and you really wish he didn’t because your body reacts to the proximity with goosebumps erupting all over you like you’re a teenager again. 

Your eyes flick up to his side profile, which is literally perfect. His jaw is strong, well cut, defined and his skin is the color of fresh milk tea. You can see little imperfections on his skin like old acne scars, the slightly chapped surface of his lips, and all of his shiny earrings. You love the way he looks and how Jeongguk has grown into his features.  The urge to trace his jawline with your tongue is insane, almost caustic inside of you. It’s impossible to push down. You sort of dressed up for this tutoring date, throwing on a pair of your favorite panties, lathering yourself in the softest lotion; you took all of the right steps and you’re hungry for a certain ending even though there’s a high chance it won’t happen at all. The horny side of you is begging for you to shoot your shot. 

But you stop. Not yet. Not right now. 

While Jeongguk picks out drinks, appetizers and the dessert he wants,  you rush to the bathroom for a second. In the mirror, you take notice of your reddened cheeks and parted lips and the messy wisps of hair sticking out. You quickly tie it back into a loose braid and then splash some water on your face. 

Reel it back, bitch.  

While in the bathroom, you call out. “Hey Jeongguk? Could you get my wallet? It’s on top of my dresser, the one next to my closet.” Might as well pay now so you can get the chicken faster. 

“Okay!” He responds. 

The noise your stomach makes is loud and painful. The salad you had did nothing to satiate your cravings so the thought of chicken, perfectly fried to a crisp and covered in garlicky sweet sauce has you practically salivating. Especially since you’ve been eating so healthily as of late. It’s nice to treat yourself to some fast food.

Afterwards, you trudge back on over to the coffee table and plop down silently while Jeongguk puts in your card information. Meanwhile, you remember to feed Snowball for dinner and give her some much needed attention by bringing her to sit with the two of you so she can be pet and loved. 

Jeongguk’s warmth emanates from his shoulder that is inches away from you while the Love Island intro song plays at the start of every new season. Half-heartedly, you watch the corny antics as each contestant introduces themselves with the main host speaking over and you think about how much internal anguish you’re feeling at the moment. 

An object prods into your forearm. You look down to see the rounded edge of your credit card. “I paid,” Jeongguk tells you. You don’t respond verbally, taking the plastic and shoving it into the slot of your card wallet. 

“Thanks,” you mumble. You bring your knees up to your chest and rest your chin on top of them, hoping to get into the various shirtless tattooed guys on your television screen. It’s an easy task. Shows like Love Island don’t ask too much of you but you can get into it enough where other thoughts begin to fade. 

You check your phone to see that the chicken should be delivered in about 10 minutes. Then you can have food and TV to reward you for all of your hard work. 

The beginning is awkward as each person picks their couple purely based on looks and their name. You cringe when a guy comes in and no one steps up to match with him so he has to randomly choose a girl who was either too shy to step up to say she thinks he’s cute or not at all interested in him. It sounds like such an awkward place to be in and you’d hate to be on either side of the situation. 

Jeongguk, on the other hand, isn’t a reality TV kind of guy. So he has a million questions and comments throughout the 57 minute episode. 

“I don’t get it. They just shove 10 hot people in a house and they have to like each other?” 

“Fuck, that’s how you’re supposed to say Leicester?” 

“That one guy looks like such a fuck boy. Why would you ever get a chest tattoo of an eagle?” 

“What happens if you don’t like anyone you match with? Can you just leave?” You shrug in response. This is your first time watching this show too.  “I’d leave so fast if I was on this show. None of these people would interest me.”

“Me too,” you respond, playing with the frayed edge of an old receipt sticking out of one of the wallet pockets. “I’d get the ick so fast and then hop on the first plane back home.” 

Jeongguk’s bantering turns the simple binge into something more. You start laughing, indulging his every whim, making fun of the guys trying too hard to flirt and seem suave and it’s really fun. You manage to barely remember the way you felt when you came out of the bathroom. 

Is this how it should always be? Platonically hanging out? 

Was it a good thing that you stopped yourself before your desires took over your logic?

You don’t know. You don’t want to either. You just want to sit back and enjoy the rest of this lovely day off. 

After another few minutes of watching the show, you feel Jeongguk’s eyes on you. Wide, glittery, washing over every inch of your skin like he’s trying to commit your features to memory. You raise an eyebrow in question. For a moment, he doesn’t do anything, just stares at you, and then he points to your phone screen where a notification from the delivery app shows. 

The food is here. 

Quickly, you go down, slipping some slides on your feet and shoving your hands in the pockets of your sweater. The delivery person hands you the plastic bag with steaming boxes and you thank them before trundling back upstairs. The smell that wafts to you is mouth-wateringly delicious. 

This. This is your treat after a grueling two weeks of school. 

You bring it up for you and Jeongguk to dig into. The chicken is fresh and delicious and in combination with Jeongguk’s commentary, you start to really enjoy yourself. Especially as all your sex related thoughts begin to push to the back of your brain and the night gets more fun yet relaxing. The food is good and the drinks are refreshing. 

Afterwards, you crack open a bag of  kit kats to share with him to cap off the meal with something sweet since none of the desserts at the restaurant sounded appealing to either of you. 

Love Island is addictive. Your friends were right about it. Two episodes later and the two of you are curious about who is the new islander coming and how they are going to shake things up. 

The TV is on the wall mounted across your bed and coffee table. For the sake of your backs, you move Jeongguk to the bed and take some pillows to lean against so your backs aren’t completely sore by the next morning. 

Although, you do wish your back was sore for another reason but let’s not get into that just yet. 

Since you don’t have a lot of pillows, you share your main one, meaning you’re a lot closer to Jeongguk than you originally planned. To the point where your arms are pressed against each other and your legs are brushing. It makes you nervous to be this close. His perfume is a strong elixir, heady and comforting, pushing you to lean in and bury your face into the delectable skin of his neck. Even his neck, wow. The skin is so smooth, there’s a mole right in the middle of it. You want to sink your teeth into the flesh and use your lips and tongue to paint it all sorts of beautiful colors. 

Sweat begins to form on your hairline. You get nervous with Jeongguk sitting so close to you, hands itching to do something. First they play around with the single star pendant on your necklace, then at a loose thread on your comforter, and then you decide to redo your hair. 

The braid has become a straggly mess with you leaned against things so you pull your hair tie off and begin to undo your braid. At the very least, it is something for your hands to do, keep them occupied and away. 

From Jeongguk that is. You don’t want to obstruct his view or break his attention. 

Pushing off from the pillow, suddenly something happens on screen that makes your head turn abruptly  to see who said what and your hair wacks Jeongguk right in the eye. 

“Shit,” he hisses, clutching his face, curling inwards. 

You begin to panic, turning in on your knees to get closer to him. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I was trying to tie my hair and then something happened on screen so I–” you stop midway, no need for an explanation. Instead, check to see if your hair scratches him in the cornea or not.

Jeongguk’s legs, that were once crossed, are now spread wide without your body taking up the space next to him on your bed. Without a second thought, you cross over the one closest to you and end up in between his two long legs. One hand on his shoulder to grab his attention. 

“Are you okay?” You ask worriedly, trying to search his gaze but Jeongguk’s eyes are turned down. “Jeongguk?” 

Muffled, he speaks up. “Y-yeah. I’m fine.” Jeongguk drops his hands onto his thighs before blinking a few times and you see a telltale tear pool from his big doe eyes, dripping down the slope of his cheek. 

A huge wave of guilt crashes inside of you. 

You made Jeongguk cry. 

Not intentionally but still. He’s crying. 

“Aw,” you cup his cheeks, searching his irises for anything like you’re a licensed ophthalmologist or something, wiping the stray tear with your thumb.“I’m really sorry. Do you need eye drops or anything?” You sit down on your feet, leaning closer to see him. “I can go check in my medicine box if I have any left from Spring.”

He doesn’t respond. 

 Jeongguk freezes immediately with you between his legs. As if all of his blood stops flowing through his veins and he’s turned to stone by Medusa. He glances at every corner of your face, at the strands of hair framing it, like he’s never seen you before. His jaw unhinges and the tip of his pink tongue is just barely visible. 

You don’t even notice how close you get. So worried about the possibility of your hair scratching his cornea that you forget that your knees are brushing against his crotch. Nor do you think about how your face is near, you’re literally staring down like you’re about to kiss him despite dreaming about being in this position all day. 

The only thing echoing in your mind is: Is Jeongguk okay? 

Not another thought. 

“I–” he stops, lips parted, “I’m okay, really.” 

Jeongguk’s palm gently pushes your hands off of his cheeks and he shifts in his spot. 

He’s practically shielding himself for you. His legs are pushed up to his chest now. Jeongguk looks like an animal that’s getting scolded for spilling food everywhere and you cannot understand why on earth he’d be making a face like that. 

“Is something wrong?” You ask. Jeongguk covers his face but you can see his ears starting to turn red. 

You inch closer to him and gently wrap your fingers around his wrist. You’re so close you can smell the gentle perfume he’s sprayed on his neck and the inviting scent of his hair serum. But he’s wriggling around like a fish out of water and it’s scaring you. 

His hands move down, ripping his wrist out of your grip to cover up his crotch and you see a glimpse of the obvious bulge poking from his sweatpants. 

Oh. 

You recoil, muscles tightening as your brain moves a mile a minute. Something Jeongguk must sense from you because he starts explaining way faster than you thought he would. 

“I’m sorry! This is–I can leave if you’d like–” 

“It’s okay, Jeongguk,” you mumble. Your voice is soft. 

It’s okay. It’s more than okay. 

It’s better than okay. 

Jeongguk continues to panic, deaf to your obvious nonchalance about him popping a boner right after you almost blinded him. “I don’t–It just sort of happened-and-and I wasn’t like–thinking a-about you or doing anything–it just,” he pauses midway, sighs to catch his breath, stops nervously stuttering,  and then turns to get up which makes you a little nervous. “I’ll go to the bathroom and get rid of it–”

In a flash, your hand wraps around his wrist to stop him from moving. 

“It’s okay,” you repeat. “I’m not grossed out.” Literally, you are the complete opposite of that but barely you mull it over one last time before speaking up again. “I could fix it, if you’d like.” Just before your conscience could stop you.

This is it. This is your chance to have him. Just once, satiate that need, and then you can go back to normal. 

The universe practically handed you this opportunity on a golden platter so you should take it. Given that Jeongguk is down too. 

His eyes go adorably wide. “W-what?” Jeongguk stutters. 

“I could help you deal with it.”  You say once more. 

At least your voice is clear and sure. On the inside, you’re just a giant piece of adrenaline. 

Jeongguk relaxes some more, gulping, and you watch his Adam’s apple bob. His shoulders broaden like he’s trying to seem confident but you can tell that he’s nervous as fuck too. 

“Why would you do that?” 

Oh, you pretty thing. You have no idea, do you?

“I don’t mind,” you shrug. Feeling bold, the hand that rests on his shoulder squeezes the mass indulgently and Jeongguk feels exquisite. You want to rip all of these clothes off of his body. “You helped me with physics so,” trailing off, as if it’s the only logical solution to this problem. 

To you, it feels like it is. Trade an A on a quiz for an orgasm. 

Plus, you finally get to rid yourself of this intense sexual tension building inside of you. A combination of your hormones and your loneliness all cooked up to make a touch-starved mess at the tiniest thing. Being with Jeongguk could be just what you need to get your focus back on yourself. He’s gorgeous, inside and out, so there’s no intense guilt to bubble from letting some douchebag grow an even bigger ego by sleeping with you. 

Jeongguk is still apprehensive. “You… you know you don’t-like-owe it to me to fix this, right? Just because I got hard doesn’t mean it’s your job to do something for me.” 

You’re taken aback. 

Most guys wouldn’t have even protested. Your mouth would be on his dick and the minute they come, you’d be all alone. They’re the types to view sex in a very individualistic manner. 

A dopey smile makes its way to your lips. “I know. This isn’t a really transactional thing.” You cup his cheek with one hand this time and trace the deep scar there absentmindedly. “I actually want to do this.” 

If Jeongguk were to hear the insane things your brain produces, you wonder if he’d run for the hills or be flattered. Definitely the former. 

“Okay but um,” he avoids your eyes, looking off to the side and you sort of love Jeongguk like this. It’s so different from his nonchalant easygoing behavior.  “I’ve never,” he searches for the words, changes his mind halfway through, and finds another path. “No one has ever like-oh god this is embarrassing–”

You decide to save him. “No one’s ever given you a blowjob?” 

He nods behind his hands that rose to cover his reddening face during his reveal. God, he’s adorable. 

“Really?”

“Is that such a surprise?”

“Yeah, I mean, you’re hot.” You say truthfully. His change of expression does wonders for your confidence. So much so that you decide to bite the bullet and run a hand through his hair affectionately. “How far have you gone?”

The strands are silky smooth, flowing through your fingers like water, and Jeongguk’s eyes flutter shut at the sensation as he mumbles out a response. 

“I kissed someone but only a few times. I got dragged to a high school party and played spin the bottle but nothing more than that.” 

This is new for you. Almost every guy you’ve ever been with is experienced or way more experienced than you. From the guy in high school who took your virginity all the way to Wooshik. And they varied from vanilla guys to those who are super into the dom/sub spiel. You’ve never been the experienced one and it feels different. 

Like you’re corrupting him, forcibly taking away something precious. Like Mrs. Robinson on the prowl for someone younger whom she can use to her advantage. 

And even though that isn’t the case with you and Jeongguk, you want this to be different than your first time. If anything, you want him to feel safe and wanted and to let him know that, at any point, if he wants to stop then it will stop. Just like there’s no obligation for you to make him feel good, there is no obligation for him to return the favor. 

“Then let’s start with that and then we can move on if you’re comfortable. Or we don’t have to do anything and we can just forget about it. Whatever you want.” 

You won’t do anything unless he wants you to. As much as you want to touch him, as much as you need sex, you’re totally fine with taking things at his pace. 

And if he rejects this entire thing and opts to fix his situation in the bathroom, that’s okay too. 

Jeongguk presses the back of his head against the wall in thought, giving you an amazing view of his jawline, until he shyly speaks. “Okay.” 

“Okay?” You want to be sure, hiding the fact that you are utterly elated on the inside.  Jeongguk just turns more red as he avoids your eyes peering into him. 

“You–we can start. I-if that’s what you want.” 

You exhale through your nose. “Oh, you have no idea how much I want to.” 

Before he can question you, you lean down and gently connect your lips with his. 

There’s a moment where it feels foreign, where your body becomes covered with goosebumps at the sheer adrenaline coursing through you and the way your brain freaks out at the change. This is happening, you’re finally doing this, but you take a second to just press and feel. Be in the moment and stop trying to control everything, then you’re fine. 

It’s easy because Jeongguk’s lips are pillowy soft. 

Starting off with a quick peck, you split for a second, nose brushing, and then you kiss Jeongguk again. This time it’s much stronger. Any lack of confidence melts when your lips move languidly against Jeongguk. He’s responsive to your every movement, feeling the inside of your mouth with his own, while his hands rest appropriately on your hips. His lip balm is rose flavored and delectable. Jeongguk is a good kisser. 

The noises fill the quiet apartment as you move closer and cup his jaw on one side while your other hand goes back to his silky soft hair to move your lips cohesively. You adjust yourself so that instead of kneeling between his legs, you’re straddling his thick muscular thighs and they feel exquisite against you, pulling a soft sigh from your lips. 

Jeongguk must feel your exhale, gaining some bravado to take the lead when he kisses you, setting the pace as his own hands begin to move from their comfortable spot on your hips. Part of you really wants to push them down to your ass to feel those big sexy hands grab a handful but you want to wait to see what he does.

He kisses you a little wet but wanton, igniting a deep burning flame inside of you. It’s bright, hot, and you can’t pull yourself away from him the more your lips collide, suckle, and slot. 

Jeongguk’s hands begin tracing up your back with a feather-light touch, and your lips part at the feeling when he unexpectedly inches his tongue into your mouth. 

Looks like he wasn’t lying when he said he’s kissed before. 

Crackles of pleasure bubble in you. Kissing can turn you on, if the guy is good at what he does, and Jeongguk is doing just that. That throbbing sensation takes over and you find yourself clenching around nothing, dreaming of having something just fill you just how you like. His tongue tangles with yours. The kiss starts to get much sloppier, something you didn’t realize you were craving until now, and you rise up on your knees while gently tugging on his hair in a flash of atypical roughness on your end. 

Your mind refuses to process that this is Jihyo’s little brother who is kissing you silly. Right now, he’s Jeongguk. 

Jeongguk with the gorgeous eyes and the gorgeous body who got hard the moment you inched closer. 

You decide to grind down on him, especially when the curve of his bulge becomes more prominent against your ass, and Jeongguk muffles a noise into your mouth. The fabric of your underwear drags across your neglected clit, pulling another sigh out of you. It’s a small jolt of pleasure and you can feel yourself dampen even more. From the action and from the way Jeongguk sounds. 

Another moan comes from Jeongguk when you grind against him again and again, whiny yet soft. It’s doing something to you. His hands squeeze your hips and then one drifts to the back of your thigh. 

Pulling away to catch your breath, you press your forehead against his. There’s a thin layer of sweat building on your skin but your arms loop comfortably around Jeongguk’s neck, tugging his body forwards. His eyes glimmer at you, with kiss-bruised lips and the beginnings of his pearly white bunny teeth peeking out from between. You resist the urge to dive down again, instead wanting to appreciate the absolute view you have right now. 

Your fingers tangle in a lock of his soft black hair. “You’re so gorgeous,” you whisper, taking in his forehead, his jawline, his perfect nose, and every single one of his moles. 

Jeongguk, who is already blushed and heavily breathing, gets even more shy at your compliment, looking away from you to avoid your teasing smile. Which just makes you want to shower him in more praise just to see how embarrassed he can get. 

“So pretty, so handsome,” your finger traces his jaw before going down to his unblemished neck where the skin looks so soft but the area is taut and beautiful. You want to see how he’d look with hickeys. “I want to mark you,” you point to the middle of the right side of his neck, “right here.” 

Jeongguk’s eyebrows raise to his hairlines. “You want to give me a hickey?” He says incredulously. You nod. 

“I want you to remember this.”

Usually, you aren’t the possessive type but you think about Juri, walking through campus and finding Jeongguk, someone that she’s expressed interest in, like this. Covered in marks you left, reeling after the pleasure you gave him. You know the chance is unlikely and if Jeongguk were to run into her, you doubt he’d tell her any bit of what you two had done but it’s the principle of it all. 

That she can be a misogynistic pick-me/not-like-the-other girl all she wants, you still pull better than she ever will. 

Maybe then, she’ll keep your name out of her damn mouth. 

Jeongguk exhales quietly, holding some weight. “Do you actually think I’ll forget this?” 

You smirk. “Dunno, but I can’t let a pretty little thing like you get away, can I? Especially with all of those other girls who love to stare.”

It happens often whenever you two would be walking from class or on public transport and people would stare at Jeongguk. Not that you’d blame them. With a face like that, Jeongguk could debut as an idol and win the hearts of millions, he could act or model even, but then you become more aware of the fact that someone even better could scoop him up at any time and you wouldn’t stand a chance against them. 

“I won’t,” he starts, shaking his head with eyes so honest and truthful that you almost collapse in his hold. “I won’t go away and I won’t forget, okay?” Jeongguk pleads with you, holding your body still with two exact hands on your hips. 

You swear your stomach feels a group of butterflies flapping about, along with unicorns and rainbows and glitter and all of that silly shit when Jeongguk says that. The hand in his hair cups his cheek, thumb tracing his cheekbone. 

“You won’t?” 

“Never,” Jeongguk presses firmly. “And,” he hesitates for a moment, “and I’m not looking at anyone else right now, either. There’s just you.” 

There’s just you. 

The sentence sounds like a confession. Like he’s being honest while you were just being horny and possessive. You feel your act drop, whatever front you were putting up, it drops, and you don’t know what to say at first. 

The truth? You aren’t thinking about anyone else either. You don’t want to. You want Jeongguk. There’s only Jeongguk right now. 

Had this been with any other person, you wouldn’t feel comfortable being honest with them. You wouldn’t trust them not to use that against you but you know Jeongguk and you trust Jeongguk more than anything. 

“I… I’m not looking at anyone either,” you manage to mumble out. Now you’re the one who is all red and shy. 

And watching Jeongguk’s expression change when you said that… priceless. 

He stares at you like you hung all of the stars in the sky, that you push the sun up in the sky every morning, like the dew droplets on the blades of grass, like it was just you. 

It’s perfect yet so much at the same time. You want to say more but you don’t know what else you could say so you meet his gaze, then dip down to his lips, and he nods so you lean in to kiss him again. 

He makes a noise of surprise, immediately licking fiercely into your mouth to meet the movements of your lips. Slowly, Jeongguk pulls away from the wall and begins moving down to lay against the bed, holding himself up with a forearm on the soft material and strengthening his hold on you so you wouldn’t slip off from him. 

You feel Jeongguk grin against your lips at your eagerness but he maintains the energy. Arching your back a little, mostly for show, you reach back and push one of Jeongguk’s hands further down to your ass. He’s been so careful and gentle with you so far and, as nice as it is, you want more. His eyebrows furrow against you, curling his palm over the tangible curve before giving your ass a tentative squeeze and pulling a muffled moan from you. 

So Jeongguk does it again. Does it with more vigor, digging his fingers into the flesh of your cheek and grinding his hips upwards. Gets you throbbing insufferably and so wet. 

“Jeongguk,” you gasp into his mouth, meeting the movement of his hips with your own. The bulge in his pants becomes really prominent as you break the kiss, moving down his strong jawline to his perfect neck. 

Whatever perfume he uses, the smell is strong now, filling your olfactory senses with sweet powdery softness. Your lips search for that spot you ache to mark, digging your teeth into the gentle flesh and soothing  the area over with your tongue. 

The noise he makes…

Jeongguk whimpered when you were sucking and biting on his skin. 

It took so much willpower for you to not rip his damn top off when that sound reached your ears. You were so wet and throbbing in your pants, desperate for some form of touch besides your soaked underwear against your clit. If you could, you’d cover his entire body with hickeys, paint his neck all sorts of beautiful colors if it were socially acceptable for someone to be walking around like that and not have everyone’s immediate thought be that he got jumped or something. 

But you practice restraint and suck on the hot skin, kissing, and doing your best to keep yourself under control even if your wetness was starting to become bothersome. Jeongguk’s hands on your ass don’t help with that either. 

The hold helps you feel the shape of his fingers which are pretty long and thick. You’ve seen them writing, typing, gripping onto the pole in the subway so the veins and tendons pop out and you’ve reached a conclusion that you need to feel them inside of you. Pumping deep and slow. Since the digits are longer than yours, they would reach that damned spot inside, turn you into a shaking, coming, mess. You crave that. 

Even before Wooshik, these dry spells weren’t uncommon. You know that it’s just your monthly horror revving up the hormones that’s making you want some dick like water in a desert but still. 

A girl has her needs. Especially when said girl is constantly hanging around a hot guy. 

Once you pull away from his neck after creating a total of three hickeys, you sit up. All of the kissing and petting and grinding has made you all sweaty so you quickly pull off your quarter-zip hoodie, leaving the plain t-shirt you have on underneath with no bra. 

Jeongguk’s eyes fall to the way your breasts lift and fall with the movement, jiggling into place as you throw the piece of clothing somewhere. The change in temperature has your nipples straining against the thin material and you can tell his attention has shifted. 

With a cocked brow, you smirk. “Want my shirt off?” You ask, slowly twisting the hem around a single finger. 

“Yeah.” 

His hands give your ass another appreciative squeeze. One that nearly has you dropping the control but you rebuild quickly. 

“Take this off then.” You place a hand down on the base of his stomach. Jeongguk’s shirt is thin so you can feel his stomach through the fabric. You need it off asap. 

Jeongguk’s lips part. You think he’s going to deny at first. Maybe he isn’t comfortable showing you his body yet. That’s okay; you don’t mind. Whatever he’s comfortable with, right? 

But in a split second, he grips the gray fabric and sits up slightly to peel it off of his body and gives you a view of what he has underneath. 

Which is just exquisite. 

Jeongguk treats his body like it’s a work of art. When he isn’t gaming or studying, he’s in the gym and he has one of the strictest meal plans you ever see. Allowing himself one cheat meal out of the week and then sticking to his rice, steamed veggie and lean meats for the rest of the days. And that dedication shows in the way his body looks. 

While still being thin and put together, his stomach is defined with steel-cut abs and his obliques are enviable along with sturdy shoulders, firm chest and deliciously bulky arms. 

You’ve never really cared about the body of whoever you were sleeping with. Muscles are nice and hot but they aren’t a necessity. Honestly, having a handsome/pretty face can get a guy farther than a six pack but now you might be changing your mind on that stance. Because Jeongguk has a pretty face and a six pack. 

Or is that a twelve pack? You didn’t really count. 

A single finger starts at Jeongguk’s sternum, tracing down his body to the waistband of his sweats, taking your time to appreciate every patch of skin and flesh. You inch backwards so you are sitting more on his thighs than his lap where his bulge is firmly straining against his pants. Looking all inviting. Your thighs clench together to relieve yourself from the lack of attention.

But before you can wrap your hands around him, Jeongguk’s fingers close around your wrist to stop you. 

“You said if I took my shirt off, you would too,” he reminds you. His tone is low, barely teetering into a domineering one. Brings a rush of arousal to your pussy and you immediately bite the inside of your cheek. 

Jeongguk ordering you around is… really hot. 

“Eager.” 

The plain t-shirt is rather unflattering on the outside so you do away with it quickly, feeling the mass of your breasts lift and bounce back down while adjusting to the temperature change. Your nipples are hard and goosebumps cover your upper body. 

But that’s mainly caused by the way Jeongguk’s eyes practically ravish you. 

You wonder if he’s more of an ass guy or a boob guy. Because his grip has stayed on the plump curve of your backside but his tongue swipes over his bottom lip while staring at your tits like he’s at the Louvre and he has two seconds to take a glance at the Mona Lisa. 

  There’s a sense of vulnerability to have him look at you like this. Like you’re something perfect when all everyone else, including yourself, does is point out your faults. 

It’s too much. You need to make a move, get his eyes off of you, so your hand goes back to the waistline of his pants where his boxer band flashes quickly. Calvin Klein, black in color to match the color of his sweatpants. 

“Can I?” You ask, looking down at the heavy print showing through the material and your mouth waters. 

Jeongguk nods immediately. “Please.” 

Carefully, you peel back the first layer of clothing. The tight elastic pressure around his waist is enough to slowly peel back Jeongguk’s boxers, exposing the beginning of his ilium but then he raises his hips some more until his sweatpants are pushed a little past the beginning of his quad muscles. You desperately want to see the sinew on his legs because you’ve been feeling them flex and move against you this entire time and they are just to your expectations. His skin is soft, a little tanned, thin hairs barely visible on his thighs from the hallowed light. 

“What do you want? My hand or my mouth?” 

You said a blowjob but whatever he wants, you will do. 

His eyes darken with lust. “Y-your hand, first,” Jeongguk stutters, shaking some hair off his sweaty forehead.  You try not to smile excitedly at the word first. 

“Okay.” 

After pressing one more kiss on his perfect nose, your palm cups his bulge. Against the material, you can see somewhat of a defined shape. It’s thick, impressive looking, and your wetness is soaking through your pants, effectively ruining the pair but that’s the least of your concerns. You fight the urge to grind into something, relieve some of the throbbing pressure from your core, clenching around nothing in hopes that it will fix. 

Jeongguk says your name carefully, checking to see if you’re still okay with continuing and your attention is back on him. You give him a wry smile in response and then work on slowly tugging his boxers off of his hips to free his cock. 

You gasp when his length slaps against his bare stomach, incapable of holding it in. 

 He’s big and thick; bigger and thicker than any guy you’ve ever been with. Jeongguk’s dick is pretty. Two veins trailing up the sides and pulsating with blood, the tip peeking with a small droplet of pearly white pre-cum. 

“Fuck,” you curse, reaching a hand forward to barely wrap around him. Your fingers manage to encompass the whole circumference but you can only accredit that to your long digits. Otherwise he would be too girthy. 

Jeongguk’s eyes flutter shut when you pump his length once. His jawline strains sexily as little puffs of air escape his lips. He looks so good when he’s pleased. As if he was made to only look like that. The emotion sits perfectly on his pretty features. 

A bead of pearly white fluid seeps from the stop, collecting slightly over the flesh-toned head. You lick your lips. “I don’t think you’ll fit in my mouth.” 

“W-what?” He stammers. 

“You’re too big, baby,” you purr, panicking momentarily about the pet name. “Shit,” swearing under your breath when you feel him twitch. Then, you let a fat drop of spit fall from your mouth and onto the head to aid your hand gliding up and down. “My throat will definitely be sore tomorrow.” 

Not that you’re complaining. 

The boy beneath you flushes. “I–” his breathing quickening when your hand works over him expertly, barely a moan. “You–um–you don’t have to,” Jeongguk offers. 

You coo, reaching forward to boop Jeongguk’s cute little nose with your free hand, still slowly jerking his cock with the other, giving the fat length a nice squeeze at the base. “But I want to,” forcing a pout and watching his gaze turn heady with euphoria. “Don’t you want me to use my mouth? To suck you off nice and properly?” 

This is new for you. You are usually rather submissive in bed and you’ve always liked it that way. If anything, you sought after guys who were more dominant because it was an immediate turn-on for you but now that you’ve made Jeongguk all pliant and soft, you can’t stop. He just looks so perfect. His eyes clench shut, creases appearing at the sides when your hands squeeze his length teasingly on the upstroke, legs going more rigid. 

Jeongguk doesn’t respond at first so you lean down, holding yourself up with one hand splayed on the mattress, right next to his head, and increase the pace of your hand. You pay special attention to the tip and the spot right under where he’s sensitive, rubbing a thumb over the area to collect more precum on the way down his cock. Jeongguk sputters out a soft noise, gritting his teeth tightly. 

“You have to tell me what you want, Jeongguk,” you muse. The tips of your noses graze, your breasts meeting his hot skin. Jeongguk’s hands, which switched to curling into the fabric of your duvet, go to your thighs to squeeze them. At that point, you decide to only stimulate the head of his cock with the pad of your thumb, rubbing teasingly tight circles while Jeongguk leaks all over, rivulets of creamy white decorating his length.  “My hands? Or my mouth? What do you want me to do?”

Jeongguk goes crazy.  His back arches off the mattress along with a high whine emitting from his swollen lips. He looks so overwhelmed with red cheeks and his hands gripping onto your body like it’s a lifeline. 

“Y-your mouth! I want your mouth, please,” he whines once more, digging his nails into your thighs, surely leaving indents. You smile, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips before descending down his taut body. 

Jeongguk is a work of art after all and you need time to appreciate him. 

Your hands stop their tortuous movement, leaving Jeongguk’s cock to hold yourself up while inching down. You kiss down the right side of his neck. The skin is salty from sweat but you don’t mind. You kiss all the marks you left, the mole on his chest, the beginning of his abs (you pay special attention to this area), licking up a stripe to feel the ridges of his body before you end up on your knees in between his legs. 

While you were kissing him, Jeongguk kicked his sweatpants off his legs, allowing you to capture a full glimpse of his meaty thighs. His skin is flawless and soft looking and you bookmark the thought of leaving red lines atop his thighs while riding him like a fucking stallion for later. 

His length deliciously twitches again from the brief lack of touch. You eye it for a split second, mouth watering, before taking the head between your lips. He throws his head back in satisfaction. 

Jeongguk tastes good. A mix of skin, salt, but he isn’t bitter; soft, pliable skin meets the plush membrane in your mouth. You moan out while your tongue circles the head, awarding you with a fresh spurt of pre-cum. 

Giving head isn’t everyone’s favorite (totally understandable) but it’s definitely yours. You don’t know why, maybe you have an oral fixation that you don’t know about, but it always makes you wet and desperate for more. Especially when the guy you’re blowing has hot moans like Jeongguk does. 

“Fuck,” he drawls out, while your tongue moves over him. He wraps a hand around the back of your hair gently, barely pushing you down to take more of him into your mouth. 

Ideally, you’d punish Jeongguk for that. If you were continuing this dominatrix stint you have going on then he shouldn’t be pushing you and trying to choke you but you drop the whole act. 

Because he feels so good. 

Your wetness is trickling down the swell of your ass as more of your mouth stretches to accommodate his length. The back of his head is about to reach the back of your throat when you wrap a hand around to pump what you can’t reach. It’ll be impossible to take him all in one go. You need to warm up first. Fat rivulets of spit trail down to his base and collect there to ease your ministrations. 

“So good,” Jeongguk praises, tangling his fingers in your hair while the wet sucking noises filter through your apartment. “You’re s-so good at this.” 

Jeongguk’s low voice isn’t helping you. Another pathetically whiny noise is muffled by his big dick going back into your mouth, swallowing around the tip as you take a little more than before. 

Swirling your mouth, using the inside of your cheek, the side of your tongue and the puckered membrane of your lips in conjunction with your nimble hands, jacking his thick cock and feeling the skin get hotter, wetter, with every second that passes by. 

He’s probably big enough to make you squirt. Though, you are the type to squirt easily, but guys around his size tend to hit the g-spot head on, to turn you into a shaking, coming, moaning mess in their arms. The thought really gets you going, imagining yourself sinking down on him like a Queen perched on her throne and spilling all over his thighs with a loud noise. 

Would he like it? Would he want to see you do it again? 

Fuck, you need a little bit of friction here. The combination of sucking him off, Jeongguk’s breathy whiny noises, and the deranged thoughts in your brain make your pussy so needy, demanding attention. 

You think about reaching back and rubbing yourself, just for a second, but your brain is too transfixed on Jeongguk. 

“P-please don’t stop-p,” he begs, “Please–Ah, yes.” Sounding like he’s about to cry. 

Your wrist flicks up during your motions while you pay special attention to the head. Jeongguk twitches some more and judging by how hard he grips your hair, he must be close. 

So you make sure your tongue stimulates all of the areas that make Jeongguk quiver in your hold. Your back arches, suckling at the skin. 

“Can I,” he interrupts himself with a moan, hands shaking, “Can I cum in your mouth?” He asks politely. 

You pull off with a breathy sigh, moving your hand to respond. “Please.” You want to taste more of him, until he’s filling your throat up completely. 

Sinking back down, you take in as much of him as you can, deep-throating his cock to the best of your abilities. It’s wet, the noises are filthy, salacious, but you don’t really care that much. Jeongguk’s cock twitches again as he spurts into your mouth, awarding you with his release as he whines throughout. 

And like a good girl, you swallow every last drop, refusing to let even a tiny drop of it go to waste. 

Jeongguk pants. His fingers slip out of your ratty hair and his hand slap over his forehead while he collects himself. His thighs shake with the aftershocks of his orgasm, sweat collected at the enticing dip of his collarbones, making his skin look like it’s speckled with diamonds. While you sit up slowly and wipe the back of your mouth, tucking his slowly softening length back into his boxers with a soft pat. 

For a few seconds, he doesn’t say anything to you. All Jeongguk does is try to catch his breath, probably slow his heart rate a bit. 

In that short period of time, your brain speeds at 100 miles per second. Did Jeongguk like it? Did Jeongguk hate it? Will he let you do it again? Oh my god, do you want to do it again and again and again. Is he uncomfortable around you now? What next? 

Your thighs are folded under you, watching Jeongguk’s stomach tense and flex as he leans on his elbows to look at you. 

His lips are adorable pouty and the hickeys look really pretty on his skin. You want so much more from him but you’re too afraid to vocalize it. You don’t want to stop. You don’t want to wake up and force this memory out of your brain. Jeongguk is so pretty and perfect and so easy to want. 

“C’mere,” he says softly, exhaling quickly with a stupid grin. Unsure if he meant his lap or right next to him, you shuffle closer until Jeongguk pats the space next to his body and you move accordingly. Hands an knees on the bed like a slinking cat. 

The air, which was once zinging with tension, has simmered down a little. Jeongguk’s arm stretches out for you to lean your head on his bicep. Up close, his eyes sparkle more than the stars in the night sky as Jeongguk pushes all of the loose strands of hair out of your sweaty face. 

“You were really good,” he repeats. “Thank you for that.” 

It feels weird to be thanked for sucking dick so you shake your head. “No need to thank me.” And because it doesn’t hurt to be truthful, you open your mouth once more. “I really wanted to.” 

Jeongguk’s expression warms; his smile gets wider and his cheeks get rounder. His thumb traces the curve of your jaw, dancing over your features like he’s trying to commit them to memory again.

“So can I return the favor?” 

Your heart leaps to your throat. You were sure Jeongguk was under the impression that this was a simple blowie, the end. Nothing else and nothing more. Even though you wanted more, you were ready to leave this romp at that but he proves you wrong once again. 

You raise an eyebrow. “You want to?” 

Most guys don’t. Most guys give up the second they cum without even offering.

But Jeongguk fucking smirks when he noticed your shocked expression. “I really want to,” he copies you. 

Fuck, you think. You put on a nice pair of underwear thinking that this would happen and then the entire tutoring session you were gaslighting yourself into thinking that nothing would ever happen and now here you are. 

There’s no doubt in your mind that you want this. Your panties are soaked and your core is aching to be touched. You need it so bad that you might never forgive yourself for turning this down.  

“Okay.” 

“Okay?” Jeongguk repeats. 

“Touch me. Please Jeongguk,” you plead with him, placing a soft hand on his warm chest. The breath is just about to escape you when he leans in to kiss you with his supple lips. 

You almost cringe. You must taste like him and you’re sure that there’s still some moisture collected in the corner of your mouth but Jeongguk doesn’t care. He licks hotly into your mouth, taking control during the kiss which surprises you completely. 

Gone is the shy whimpering boy who begged you not to stop. Jeongguk’s fingers squeeze your hips then pull one of your legs over his thighs so that you get even closer to him and your center is more exposed. That same hand travels upwards to your tits and cups the mass, and it’s your turn to shake in his hold. 

He’s starting off perfectly, like he knows what moves drive you crazy just by looking at you. 

You sigh softly when your lips break and he begins kissing down your neck. Unlike you, Jeongguk doesn’t leave any marks. Instead, he’s strategic about creating a clean line from your mouth, smooching along your jaw, then the side of your neck, to the middle of your collarbones before meeting your boobs. Jeongguk hauls you up the bed a little so he’s facing your chest instead, bringing your body closer with a splayed hand on your back. 

“Jeongguk,” you try, unsure as to why you’re calling him out. Jeongguk pays you no attention, transfixed by your naked breasts. He expels something inaudible under his breath and then takes one of your nipples into his mouth while tweaking the other, causing your body to go rigid. 

His lips wrap around the bud, sucking and circling his tongue over it while his other hand tweaks and pulls at the other. Like his tongue, his finger moves in time to turn you into a pile of mush. You grind onto nothing, wishing it was his thigh instead because you need friction from how wet and needy you’ve become in the span of like 20 minutes. 

Moaning out at the feeling of him slowly stimulating you, Jeongguk switches to the other one until your nipples are left shiny, wet, and puffy from his lips and tongue. 

He picks up fast, it seems. While kissing down your stomach, he asks you, “What do you want me to do?” Just like you did. 

“Anything,” you respond. You don’t care what he does, you just want him to do something. 

Jeongguk shakes his head. “Gotta give me a real answer,” he pulls up a little closer to your face, cupping your swollen bottom lip thanks to all of his work. “Tell me.”

“I,” you start. In all honesty, you wouldn’t mind anything from him. But you feel the length of his fingers, thick and perfect, and you remember your pressing desire of having them inside of you. “I want your fingers,” deciding on that. 

He grins softly at how cute you become when you’re overwhelmed. Jeongguk doesn’t wait around any longer, fingers going to the waistline of your yoga pants and tugging them down slowly. They’re tight, sticking to you like a second skin, so they snag along the meat of your thighs. Jeongguk doesn’t seem to mind as the fabric bunches up into a little ring and you kick it off to a random spot on your floor. 

Cold air meets your soaked underwear, making you cringe at the feeling, totally unaware of the way Jeongguk gapes at the flimsy little thing hugging your hips. He gently traces the band over your pelvis, almost like he’s hesitation. 

You open your mouth, ready to check in to see if Jeongguk still wants to do this for you or not, but before you can, his fingers dip into your panties to feel just how wet you are from him. 

His expression morphs beautifully. “You’re…” he’s speechless at first. Jeongguk’s finger trails up and down your center, barely grazing your sensitive clit. 

A whimper escapes you. His touch is feather light and barely enough yet so much all at once. 

“Fuck,” he groans, hiding his face into crook of your neck, soaking up all of your arousal while his ears and neck get bright red. You’d be embarrassed by the rushing gush coating you even more if Jeongguk’s thumb hadn’t stopped at your clit to draw tight, short, slow circles. 

Such a gentle pace, way less intense than the bullet vibrator you’ve been using, and the pressure builds gradually. One of your hands wind in his hair and the other grips his bicep, openly feeling him up. 

“Fucking soaked,” Jeongguk grits, moving his thumb a little faster. 

Your eyes shut. “Oh J–” interrupted by a shaky noise spilling from your mouth. Jeongguk takes that as a good sign, deciding to torture you even further by moving his lips back to your stiffened nipples and using his tongue to suck and lick at them as if you aren’t already sensitive. 

“You’re pretty too, noona,” Jeongguk says, looking at you this time. Slowly, your eyes peel open to find his big brown irises glimmering at you. “I think you’re beautiful. Always have.” 

You blush immediately. You don’t know why this feels so intensely intimate, like a pan that’s gotten too hot. Is it Jeongguk’s tone, the fact that he’s so close, the way he looks at you to make sure you know and understand him? What is it that has you so stupefied by such a simple comment? 

Boys have called you pretty before, called you much worse too, but you should be used to it. Over the years you’ve started to develop a thick skin but this one gets to you. 

That flutter of butterflies comes back, dancing from the tip of your toes all the way to your head. Jeongguk has seen you grow, from a kid to a pre-teen and now an adult. 

And he still finds you beautiful. Even after every embarrassing phase. 

You begin to smile, cupping his cheeks and leaning down to press a short kiss to his lips, then the corner of his lips, his cheek and his nose, because he deserves it and he’s cute. 

“Thanks,” you mean it, even if the sweet moment cut all of the flourishing beginnings of an orgasm from you and Jeongguk’s fingers halted, out of your underwear and holding your hip instead. 

Jeongguk mirrors your expression. Then he looks down at where his hand is and back up at you, nervously tonguing his cheek. “Can I move now?” 

You nod your head yes quickly after he asks. 

“And…” Jeongguk still looks awkward. You go back to cupping his soft cheeks. “Tell me if I’m doing okay?”

You want to melt in his grip. “Of course, Guk.” Thumb swiping over his cheekbone affectionately. 

Jeongguk takes that as the greenlight and slips his fingers back into your underwear. His gaze is on you, studying your features when his thumb goes back to your clit while his middle finger teases around your opening. You clench, desperate for something to slip inside of you, lifting your hips up in hope that Jeongguk would take the hint and put his fingers inside but he continues collecting your arousal to get his digits wet enough. 

“Jeongguk,” you call tightly, digging your nails into the meat of his shoulders. He hums in response. “I need more.” 

His thumb decides to go faster at your demand but not fast enough and his middle finger still traces your opening instead of slipping inside. 

“More?” He repeats, lilting his voice teasingly. 

Shithead. 

“Yes, more.”  You want to whine, kick your legs even. 

He can feel how wet you’ve gotten, does he not know how much you want this? 

“You want my fingers?” 

“Yes,” you grumble but it sweetens at the end because his thumb starts moving faster over your clit and you feel the waves of pleasure swirling in your stomach, turning into a half-moan. 

Jeongguk angles his hand a little differently and, gently, pushes his middle finger inside you. He groans at the feeling of you. “So tight,” breathing out against your skin. 

You react immediately, throwing your head back. There’s a slight pinch but it's not even the slightest bit painful. The intrusion is welcomed; although small, you need it. Jeongguk’s finger is nice and long and he pistons it out of you with so much care while hitting just the spot. 

“Fuck, right there,” you moan out, turning your face into the soft material of your sheets, eyes rolling back.

Jeongguk slips another finger in and he stops teasing your throbbing bundle of nerves to focus fully on moving his digits, curving them upwards to your walls as you release a symphony of noises. Finding that soft spongy part inside of you and massaging it. 

“F-faster please, please, go faster,” begging him out of the fear that he’ll tease you just like he was doing before. 

But Jeongguk plays fair and fingers you even faster, upping the ante even more by removing his free hand and pressing down on your lower stomach, right before your pelvis. 

And you lose it. 

The pressure from his hand on top, plus the way his fingers are moving, just becomes too much. The  gradual pressure starts accelerating and accelerating until it drops like a rollercoaster and you feel a burst of tingling pleasure rush through your veins and all over your body. 

“I’m cumming!” Crying out, tears pooling inside your eyes streaming down your cheeks as your legs shake with the crashing waves of your orgasm. 

Different than when you do it. As good as your vibrator is, something about it has yet to make you orgasm like this. Heavy, powerful, almost numbing. Waves crash inside you, again and again, cresting at the peak and slowly simmering out into a soft current and then nothing at all. 

Your breath comes out in heavy pants, limbs feeling like jelly, slowly opening your eyes to find Jeongguk staring back at you in bewilderment. His lips are parted but his cheeks aren’t red with embarrassment. If anything, he looks like the complete opposite of that. 

Like he could watch you do that again and again. Something you would gladly agree with. 

Jeongguk takes his fingers out from your underwear, glistening with your arousal, and before you can offer him a napkin, he slips his digits into his mouth and cleans them off. You really begin to question if this man is a virgin or secretly a sex god waiting to be discovered. He’s way better than you were when you were inexperienced. Does he watch a lot of porn?

Or do Taehyung and Jimin just talk about sex around him too much? Must be that. 

“Mmh,” his fingers come out with a soft pop noise, “You taste amazing.” Jeongguk’s clean hand brushes some hair out of your face as he smiles. You lean into his touch like a purring kitten, curling into his chest because your entire body feels weak. 

“You okay?” Jeongguk asks, closing his arms around you. 

Nodding into his chest, “Yeah. Felt really good.” You want to say more but there’s no energy for you to do so. 

“Did it? You looked really hot when,” trailing off, you know what he means, and you press a kiss to his chest. “Kinda want to see it again.” 

That takes your attention. 

Removing the fact that you haven’t been touched in a bit, two orgasms from Jeongguk might put your legs out of commission and that was just with his fingers. You can’t imagine what it would be like with more of him, especially as he learns more about how to pleasure you and gets better. Your poor vibrator might be out of a job. 

“I would love to, but you definitely wore me out.” Pulling your face away, you look up at his perfectly crafted face. “Can we try that another time?” 

Another time, you get giddy even before he agrees. After getting addicted to Jeongguk’s touch, you don’t want to entertain the idea of this being a one time thing. 

“Of course.” And neither does he. 

Jeongguk kisses the top of your head gently, rubbing soothing circles on your back. You tangle your legs with his, inhaling his scent and doing your best not to fall asleep. 

It feels sticky and wet between your legs. You should change and you should get ready for bed. Jeongguk probably wants to go back to his house, right? He probably doesn’t want to stick around your place after what just happened. 

But you think about it and that’s the farthest thing you want. 

Being in his arms, you feel safe and protected, like you drifted off to another dimension where nothing bad has ever happened and you were still the girl you were when you left Busan. Happy and lively. 

You don’t want him to leave you. You don’t want this to be another shitty hookup or one-time thing that makes both of you blush and walk-away. You just want Jeongguk to be in your life. 

So you hold on tight, avoiding his eyes when you ask: “Do you want to stay here with me tonight?”

Please, please, you beg internally. You’ll make breakfast, there’s a pack of toothbrushes under your sink, anything. Just stay. 

And thankfully, Jeongguk responds without wasting another second of your time, putting you at ease once again.  

“Please.”

a/n: okay yes, that was a lot but more smut will come and more angst will follow!

taglist:

@iwuzhere

[irisintheafterglow]

More Than It Seams (Chapter 1)

summary: you're a hero costume tech working for one of the biggest fashion companies in quirk society, and the days until the most important fashion event of the year are dwindling fast. if you weren't stressed enough, a certain half-and-half hero keeps appearing with rips in his suit. (pro!todoroki x reader)

word count: 3k

cw/tags: swearing, mentions of needles, probably inaccurate fashion design vocabulary, strangers to lovers, no specified pronouns for reader

note: aaaaa ok first chapter of my first series. hope you enjoy!! i'm planning on this to be five chapters, and the second chapter I'm planning to release this friday. i <3 shoto todoroki

likes/reblogs/feedback are always appreciated!!!

She couldn’t be serious. You shake your head as if to reset your eyeballs and read over the two scribbled cursive sentences over and over until the reality of your situation set in. 

Hey, not gonna be in starting today for maternity leave. Don’t disappoint me. Xo, M 

You counted the days on your fingers and groaned, dragging a palm down the front of your face. 7:00 A.M was too early to find out you had to run a multi-million dollar business that wouldn’t hesitate to fire you if you disappointed at the most important fashion event of the year. The coffee maker beeped its readiness right on cue, and you debated making two cups instead of just one. You settled for one but left out a cup with your name on it for a possible second, and plopped down at your station. The sun was just starting to shine through the glass walls of the building you called your office, an odd combination of exposed brick walls and floor-to-ceiling windows. Crooked rows of work tables lined up on one side of the expansive area, with several dozen mannequins and rolls of fabric occupying the other side. A long counter separated the work area from the sitting area, where clients waited for their fittings on plush couches and sipped on complimentary sparkling drinks that M paid for instead of giving her workers a raise. 

“G’morning!” The other designer for the company swung open the gate allowing access between the work area and the sitting area, deflating when he saw you throw your head down on your desk in frustration and slam it a few times for good measure. “Or not…” A loud gasp of shock indicated to you that he had read the note, and a long string of expletives left his mouth as you lifted your head and nodded. “She has to be joking.”

You clicked your tongue in agreement. “She is not.” 

“HB’s in two weeks, and she decides now is a good time to have her baby?”

“If it were up to me, she wouldn’t even be the head of this place, or having another baby. God knows we don’t need any more of her.” Your coworker scoffs in disbelief, throwing his bag down on his desk and wheeling over a mannequin. “Hey, did you finish working up that fabric design for Cellophane’s suit? He’s supposed to come in on Friday and I think it’d be smart to have a sample of the fabric ready so he can tell us if he doesn’t like it.” 

“Yep, I’ll have that over to you ASAP. You don’t need to remind me what happened last year with Dynamight two days before the Ball.” 

You cringed at the memory of the Number Two Hero burning your work to ashes right in front of you and telling you to get a color that matched his eyes better. To be fair, the color that his stylist had chosen clashed with his skin tone and you respected Bakugo for recognizing that, but he could have given you back the suit to use as scrap fabric. “It’s the price of working with the best.” 

“You mean for the best,” he corrects, giving you a grouchy look before switching on his machine and beginning to hem the miles of fabric for Creati’s dress. You’d asked him if he wanted you to hem the fabric since your quirk would have it done by lunch, but he declined and said that you should focus on designing the remaining heroes’ pieces. The rest of your seamstresses trickled in as the morning progressed, filing into their stations with a polite “good morning” and picking up their scissors. Soon, the office milled with the familiar sounds of cutting fabric, sewing machines, and rolling mannequins, and you spaced out as you sketched your idea for Pinky’s updated costume. 

At 11:30, your receptionist sitting at the counter slammed down the phone in alarm, startling the entire room into silence. Her face was nothing short of panic, and you rose quickly from your station to pull her into a corner and figure out why she looked like she had received a bomb threat. 

“What’s going on?”

“Shoto is here.”

“Who?”

“Shoto. The pro hero. Is here,” she hisses at you through her teeth, her hands shaking with uncontrollable anxiety. 

You blinked at her. “Okay… and?” Pros showing up to the office themselves rather than sending assistants was uncommon but had been done numerous times before. Deku and Creati tended to visit a few times a month, and Pinky liked to stop by on Fridays to treat her favorite staff to ice cream. It was Shoto’s first time appearing in person, as he usually sent an assistant to drop off what was essentially his laundry; you’d always assumed that being a top-ranked hero controlling large sums of inheritance was just too busy to worry about his costume. Still, a customer visiting the office in person, no matter how attractive they were, was the least of your laundry list of problems.  

Your receptionist stares at you like you’ve sprouted three heads, and addresses you with an attitude that would have had her fired if M was in office. “What the hell do you mean ‘and’? It’s Shoto… the Number Three Hero. ProMagazine’s #1 ranked hottie.” 

“I’m aware,” you state a little impatiently, annoyed by her insistence that this was much more significant than it actually was. “I’m struggling to understand the fuss over just another client–” 

A chorus of shocked excitement washed over your staff as the elevator doors dinged and a lean, well-dressed silhouette entered the office. Several of your seamstresses had stood from their chairs and huddled together for moral support, whispering to each other about the stranger who had exited the elevator. Your receptionist’s eyes widen to the size of dollar coins, her hands coming up to your shoulders to push you toward the counter as she disappeared behind rolls of fabric. You rolled your eyes and took a breath, adjusting the measuring tape around your neck and meeting Shoto as he approached the vacant receptionist’s computer. His voice was polite and soft when he spoke, and you swear you hear your workers swooning behind you. 

“Hello, I’m here to drop these items off for repair,” he states, gently placing a small stack of folded fabric on the counter in front of you. You couldn’t help but notice how pretty his hands were, and how one ran through his two-toned hair, combing it with elegant fingers. His eyes were each an enchanting shade of blue and grey, and you found it hard to break eye contact with him. ProMagazine was definitely correct.

“Great, I’ll, uh, have this ready in just a bit,” you reply, gesturing towards the waiting area and encouraging Shoto to have a seat. Taking a deep breath in and out and shooting your staff a stern look to get back to work, you unfold the tattered costume on a nearby station behind the counter. His suit wasn’t in the worst condition, but the tears on the arms and chest area posed a significant safety hazard, especially if they continued to open. As hot as it would be to have muscle windows in Shoto’s suit, it’d reflect badly on you if you’d refused to repair the costume for the sake of professionally shot ab photos. 

After another steadying breath, you visualize a sewing machine dial in your mind, picking up a spool of strong nylon thread and running your thumb over the torn pieces of fabric; like clockwork, it repaired itself with a neat straight stitch wherever you touched. Your quirk is why M hired you in the first place since you could assemble three pieces in the time it took a machine to do one. You couldn’t send sheets of fabric flying like Best Jeanist, but your ability to telekinetically manipulate thread into stitches proved useful for a career in fashion design. With a few more reinforcement stitches to some worn edges and a quick polish of the suit’s buckles, Shoto’s costume was good as new. 

“Here you go; you’re all set.” He turns to look at you, surprised and preoccupied with examining the large posters of costumes M’s company had designed. Frames of initial sketches for his first professional costume were flanked by life-size prints of Pinky, Deku, and Red Riot’s attire. A plaque engraved with Creati’s endorsement message for the company hung in the center, surrounded by fabric swatches and Post-It notes scribbled with measurements. It looked like he had just finished reading through Creati’s statement when you informed him that his suit was ready. “I went ahead and cleaned off some of the grime from the suit’s hardware and sprayed it with anti-rust so it shouldn’t be tarnishing any time soon.” 

Shoto looks at you with an expression that you can’t read, gazes down at the repaired suit in front of him, and then back up at you. “Oh. That’s it?”

You release a slightly nervous chuckle to try to ease some of the awkwardness that had settled between you two. “Uh, yep. That’s it.” After another painfully quiet beat, your customer service persona finally kicks back into gear. “Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” 

“I don’t think so.”

“Well, it was a pleasure working with you today–”

“How does your quirk work?” His question arrives completely out of left field, and your brain short-circuits at his genuine expression of interest in your abilities. 

“Well, um, I can manipulate thread to follow certain stitch patterns, like the stitch selection on a sewing machine. See, like, here.” You point at one of the newly repaired tears in his costume, running a finger over the fresh seam. You’re keenly aware of how his eyes follow your finger and you attempt to keep your voice even. “I mended this panel of fabric torn down the middle with a straight stitch, which is the sturdiest stitch I can create.” 

“So you wave your hands and the threads start moving?” The boyish cluelessness on his face makes your heart flutter. A smile breaks its way into your expression. 

“I wish, but I actually have to be touching the fabric.” 

“I suppose it’s very useful for a fashion designer, then.” His face is carefully put together, but the tiniest hint of sarcasm bleeds its way into his voice. Was he… joking with you? 

“Definitely. I’m essentially a human sewing machine but without needles sprouting from my thumbs.” Your thumb pops up on its own accord for added effect, but then you realize what you just said and shove your hand back in an apron pocket. It was meant as a joke, but the macabre nature of your last quip slips your mind and a part of you dies inside when Shoto physically cringes at the grotesque image. Before you have the chance to apologize for such a distressing remark, he politely nods his head in farewell and gives you a soft “thank you” before returning to the elevator. 

Releasing a frustrated noise from your throat at the fact that you just scared off Todoroki Shoto, you lay your forehead on the counter between your elbows. The elevator button dings, and to your horror, you realize that he hadn’t left the office yet. Instead, he was looking at you amusedly over his toned shoulder. The corner of his mouth quirks up the tiniest bit as he watches your burning face attempt to regain its composure, and then he’s gone. 

“That was a shit show,” your other designer mutters under his breath, handing you another cup of coffee. 

Tuesday morning at 11:30 on the dot, Shoto visits again and catches your receptionist off guard, reducing her to a puddle of “How can I help you?” and “Can I get you a sparkling drink?” With your back turned to the doors, you don’t notice him immediately as you concentrate on draping expensive maroon fabric around Creati’s mannequin. Eyebrows drawn in concentration and holding a pin between your teeth, your hands work meticulously to create perfect pleats under the waistline of the bodice. It isn’t until your receptionist nervously calls out your name that you abruptly drop the fabric, Shoto’s mouth twitching as he watches you hurriedly place your box of pins on a nearby station and approach the counter. You lightly tap your receptionist’s shoulder, snapping her out of her daze to find Shoto a drink that you knew was out of stock and leaving you two alone again. 

“Shoto, it’s a pleasure to see you.” You try to mask the unease in your voice with a forced smile. “What can I help you with today?”

His face is blank, but his eyes shine like he’s analyzing you. “I ripped the suit again.”

Your face falls in comical disbelief. “Again?”

He shrugs. “I guess I need stronger stitches.” His heterochromatic eyes stare into yours, and you meet his challenge with a slight squint. 

“Guess you do.” You take the folded suit from his hands and drop the volume of your voice. “Or maybe you need to stop tearing my work.”

He huffs out a breath that sounds like a choked laugh and you smile innocently at him, hoping this interaction replaced the awkwardness of yesterday. Your hand gestures to the seating area again, but he shakes his head, instead crossing his muscular arms and watching you intently as you work. The damage to his suit could barely be considered a tear, and you don’t even bother using your quirk to repair it. You feel him staring at you as you easily patch up the suit with a backstitch, and you swear you could hear him hum thoughtfully behind you. Minutes after he entered the office, you slide the garment back to him with a satisfied smile. 

He does that thing again, looking at you, down at his suit, then back at you. “You didn’t use your quirk.” 

It was your turn to shrug. “Didn’t need to.” As entertaining as his presence was, it would have taken longer to repair it with your quirk, and you had three mannequins of patterns demanding your immediate attention. “Is there anything else I can assist you with today?”

Shoto dodges your question, instead scanning the seamstresses at their work areas trying not to stare at him. “You’re awfully good at getting people in and out.” One eyebrow quirks in question. He’s testing you, silently asking whether you were trying to get rid of him quickly. 

“With all due respect, a rip on a Pro’s suit is the least of my worries right now.” 

“What are the most of your worries?” You direct his attention to the three mannequins behind you, covered in multi-colored pins and beige pattern panels. “Red Riot, Pinky, and Cellophane’s Ball outfits. Need to have them done by next Friday, and I was just in the middle of pleating the skirt of Momo’s dress. It’s taking a lot longer than expected because I tragically only have two hands.” 

Shoto’s mouth opens in an ah of realization, taking in the elaborate construction plan of the layered asymmetrical gown. You couldn’t have predicted his reply to save your life. 

“May I help you?”

Your mind halts the production of coherent thoughts. “Oh, no, really. It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” 

“Why not?”

“It’s not your job.”

“But there is something I can help with.”

“I mean, yes, but–”

“Then please, show me what to do.” You decide that it would be pointless to fight his stubborn determination, so you try not to notice the gasps from your staff as Shoto pushes open the gate into the work area and stands beside Creati’s mannequin. You knelt into the same position as before, sitting back on your heels as you searched for the last pleat you made. 

“So I just need you to hold the fabric in place so that it doesn’t unfold, like this,” you direct, scrunching the edge into a carefully measured fold. He watches you diligently, allowing you to reposition his hands so that you could effectively create a seam. His hands were soft beneath your fingers as you brushed veins and lean muscle. You push away the thought of what else he could do with his hands, refocusing on your work and delicately rotating the mannequin as you made your way around its waist. To your surprise, Shoto made soft conversation with you, asking about other Pros’ looks and the design inspiration behind them. Small talk flowed easily as you worked, and he proved to be much more witty than interviews captured. 

When you finished, Shoto ran his finger over the pleats you had just made in admiration. A glance at the rest of the mannequins leads to his expression becoming puzzled. “Where is mine?” He offers an open hand to you as you rise from the floor, and you revel in the cool touch of his palm against your tired thumb. 

You open your mouth to reply, but no words come out. The truth was, his stylist had ordered a simple black suit for him, barely different than the suit he wore the previous year and all of the years prior. Shoto’s media reputation had him notorious for attending as few public events as possible, and donning safe solid-colored suits when he did appear. His eyebrows rise in anticipation of your answer, still holding your hand, and you finally conjure up an explanation. “Well, technically, your look is already finished. It was one of the first looks we finished because of its simplicity.” 

“Simplicity?” He releases your hand, flexing his fingers like he was squeezing a stress ball. Shit, were your hands sweaty?

“Yeah, your stylist tends to request subdued designs for public appearances.”

A low hum is all you receive in acknowledgment, and a look of deep thought washes over his handsome expression. 

“Maybe I will aim for a different design this year, then.” 

And just the same as Monday, he nods farewell before heading back to the elevator, leaving you frozen by the mannequin. A split second before the doors slide open, he gives you a mischievous look and a single thumbs-up, a reminder of the embarrassing interaction from the day before. You roll your eyes at him and are delighted to see the corner of his mouth turn up again.   

The elevator doors shut, and you can’t help hoping he creates another tear in his suit for tomorrow.

[nsyncat]

OK, so this is my first post EVER since I joined Tumblr like ten years ago. Always been a lurker, enjoying all of the wonderful things here, the gifs, fics, ships, art, all the knowledge and all the amazing heritage posts, but never posting and hardly reblogging, I don't know why, was always afraid I would make a mistake or reblogg incorrectly...

Anyway, the reason this is my first time posting is because THAT amazing moment that happened a week ago, and I've been losing my mind ever since, and unfortunately I have nobody to share this excitement with that will understand... So I had to get it out somehow, and here seems like the perfect place to do so.

I don't know if anybody will read this or pay it any attention, but never mind, I just have TO. GET. IT ALL. OUT!

So I've been a loyal fan of 9-1-1 this past six years, got hooked to these kind of first responders dramas, also Station 19 and then of course Lone Star. I fell in love with the writing, the drama and action, the characters of course, the emotional and moving stories, both of the regular cast and the people in the emergencies (am not afraid to admit that I cried more than a few times, especially when I was pregnant... woooh, that was a tough season for me).

Anyway, like everyone else, got invested in Buck's storyline and of course hopped on the Buddie train in season 2. And obviously there was something between them, and the fandom always clowned themselves that "in the next season SOMETHING is going to happen!" and I always wanted to believe it, and also fooled myself a few times but always was the cold harsh realist and realised it was not going to happen... But enjoyed the ride nonetheless, read amazing fics, saw wonderful fanart, read interesting breakdowns and analysis.

And then 704 happened and I'm not joking or exaggerating, my life changed!

Confirming that Buck is Bi was amazing! I'm ashamed to admit that I really thought it won't happen, EVER! So I still can't believe it actually happened (thank you soooo much ABC!) and like a lot of you, I've been on cloud nine this past week and can't wait for tomorrows episode (also not from the US), literally counting down the hours.

And look, I love Buddie, I really do, but I fell in love with TEVAN (my favourite one yet) 😍 and been OBSESSED with them this past week. Just from those few moments between them and what we barely know that is going to happen the next episode, I truly fell in love with them and really hope they make it as far as they can. I think its an amazing thing for Buck and also CANT. STOP. WATCHING THE KISS! The actors did an incredible job, especially Oliver, also with his spoken support of the storyline and his love for Buck. Such a KING! So this whole thing is huge.

And I have a one-year-old, my life is hectic with taking care of a little human being, a hubby who is also very busy, work, family and a million other things and this past year with a heavy heart I kinda neglected reading fics, and it was my main hobby, my escape, my one and constant thing in my LIFE since I was 12. I do read here and there, but not like I used to, reading hours and hours and into the night, multi chapters and long oneshots, in multiple fandoms, and now whenever I do get to read something once In a blue moon I'm not fully invested or enjoying it because either I'm tired or have something else more important to do. And unfortunately, eventually I noticed that I lost this fire, the passion in me and it left me sad and heartbroken...

And then something incredible happened. Ever since that earth-shattering kiss, the fire and passion came back! Holy shit! I've been reading and ENJOYING fics nonstop this whole week, I can't concentrate on work thinking about everything and reading in-between tasks, I use every single free minute I have to search new fics and scroll through the tags, I go to sleep late because I need to read just one more fic(!!!) even tough I have to wake up very early in the morning and I DON'T EVEN CARE. I'm thinking about it sooo much and imagining new scenarios in my head, and feeling giddy and happy, in a good mood a lot of the time, more optimistic, knowing I have a new and exciting place I can "escape" to, like I had in the past.

Its not that i'm not happy, I have an amazing son and a wonderful husband and I cherish every moment with them, but these are hard and difficult times and life can be hard and stressful and I'm a different kind of happy... So these past few days have been nourishment for my soul and my mood, it sounds so silly but its true! I'm feeling a bit like my old self and it's amazing.

And if someone did read this or did pay attention and got to this point, sorry for the long rant and thank you so much for the patience and understanding 🙏 I love you and wish you a wonderful weekend and happy Buck's-first-date-with-a-man day! 🥰

So I want to thank, from the bottom of my heart, ABC, Oliver, Lou and you crazy lot for resurrecting my old fangirl self 😌 I'm so grateful for all your posts, your takes, your similar enjoyment and of course your amazing fics you're writing and sharing 🩵

[bellaireland1981]

Starting Over | 11

Summary: You come home to work to find your husband of three years in bed with your supposed best friend. It’s the wake up call you finally needed to take your two year old daughter and get the hell out of Texas. With nowhere to go you head to your big brother in San Diego. The Dagger squad takes you under their wings, and shows you what having a family means. You get a fresh start… will you find your happily ever after?

Characters: Jake “hangman” Seresin x Sister! Reader, Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Seresin! Reader (Eventually), Hangman x Phoenix , Adorable OC Gracie!   The Dagger squad

Word Count: 7201

Warnings: Angst, fighting, cheating husband, emotional abuse, eventual fluff, SMUT, Sweet uncle Jake, Adorable Rooster with a toddler… if I miss any please let me know. MINORS DNI

A/N: I don’t own the characters or storyline for Top Gun Maverick. All OC’s are mine. I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR ANYONE TO COPY OR REPOST MY WORK TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM! DON’T STEAL! Reblogs, likes and comments ALWAYS welcomed. THANK YOU @waywardodysseys​ and  @beyondthesefourwalls​ as always for reading over my work and helping me flush out ideas!! 

Taglist is open! If I missed anyone who asked to be tagged, please fill out this GOOGLE FORM  to be added. It’s getting to hard to keep track of asks. 

CH 1  CH 2  CH 3  Ch 4  Ch 5  Ch 6  Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9 CH 10

Friday night the squad all descended upon Penny and Mav’s house for dinner and to start to decorate for Gracie’s party. The bounce castle was delivered and of course the overgrown children needed to test it out. Thankfully it didn't result in any injuries. You knew a few of the kids from Gracie’s daycare would be at that party, apart from that it would mostly just be adults at the party. You knew Gracie didn’t care as long as she had her people there. 

Nat, Penny and you were busy inflating balloons to create the balloon arch that Nat had insisted on from the party store, while Bradley and Jake kept Gracie busy in the bounce house out back. 

“Nat, remind me not to listen to you when it comes to decoration ideas again.” You complained after tying off what felt like the millionth tiny balloon. “My fingers are going to be numb for the rest of my life.”

“But it’s so PRETTY!” She insisted, “It’ll be worth it! You’ll see!” 

“Maybe next time we just order the damn arch and have someone ELSE build it?” Penny suggested.

What felt like hours later, but was really only about 45 minutes, all of the balloons were inflated and just needed to be assembled into the arch. Once it was all put together, you called the guys in to hang it up. 

Once finished, it looked like the entrance to a castle, and you had to admit, it looked amazing. 

“Ok, I admit it…. It’s badass.” You said, “Good call, Nat.”

“SEE?” She exclaimed, “I TOLD YOU!” 

“You doubted my girl, Tulip?” Jake asked, coming over to stand with you all as you admired the arch. 

“Not doubted so much as hated having to inflate and tie the millions of balloons required to create this arch.” You defended. 

“It’s beautiful, Sweets.” Jake said, wrapping his arm around Phoenix, “It’s just what our Princess G needs.”

“Thanks, Babe.” She smiled, leaning back to kiss him, “Anything for that girl. But Y/N is right, those balloons were a pain in the ass.”

“Mommy! Papa Mav gave me WINGS!” Gracie said running into the house, “Now I fwy wif Daddy and Unco Jakey!”

“Uh oh.” You said, smiling, “I’m not sure the Navy is ready for that just yet Gracie Girl.” 

“You wanna fly with us, Princess?” Bradley asked, scooping her up into his arms. “Daddy and Uncle Jakey can take you flying anytime you want to.”

“YES PWEASE!” She exclaimed, “Mommy! I go fwy wif my daddy and Unco Jakey now!”

“I don’t know if they can take you right this very minute, Sweet girl, but I’m sure they’ll have you in a plane as soon as they possibly can.” You laughed, “And I have no doubt that Papa Mav will help them make that happen.”

“Absolutely!” Mav said, beaming proudly. “We can  get her in the skies this weekend!”

“All I ask is that we wait until she’s at least in kindergarten before anyone takes my baby supersonic.” You requested, rolling your eyes. You had zero doubts that if it were at all possible one of them would figure out a way to sneak her into one of the Super Hornets. 

“That seems like a reasonable request.” Penny laughed, “And sadly, one that you had to actually spell out with these three.”

“That’s what I figured.” You said, laughing. “Covering all the bases here.”

“I’ll supervise.” Phoenix offered. 

“Something tells me you’d be just as bad as them in that situation.” You laughed. 

“Maybe.” She shrugged, winking. 

“We’ll save the Super Hornets and crazy pilot stuff until she’s at least in Kindergarten.” Bradley promised, “For now, we can take her up in something a little safer. I have no doubt she’ll take to the skies though.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” You sighed, “I won’t be able to keep any of your feet planted on solid ground afterwards.” 

“Don’t worry, Sweetheart,” Bradley said, kissing your forehead, “We’ll always fly right back to you.”

“You better.” You replied, tipping your head back to smile at him, claiming a kiss in the process.

“Alright, decorations are officially complete.” Penny said, “Let’s eat some dinner. A certain little Princess needs extra sleep to be ready for her big day tomorrow!”

Mav and Penny had ordered lots of pizza for the squad that night so that nobody was cooking on top of having to decorate and set up for the party. 

Once everyone had plates piled with pizza and drinks of choice they made their way to the back yard, settling into the chairs already set up for the party. 

“Daddy, I sit wif you.” Gracie said, climbing into Bradley’s lap. 

“Absolutely you can sit with me, my sweet Princess.” He replied, beaming at her.

“I’ve officially been replaced.” Jake pouted, sitting down next to them and placing his plate on the table. “I’m washed up fish guts in yesterday’s newspaper.”

“Wow.” You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Dramatic much?”

“Stop pouting, Hangy.” Bradley teased, “Gracie, you still love Uncle Jakey, right?”

“Yup!” She agreed with a mouth full of pizza, “I wuv you Unco Jakey!” 

“See? You big baby, she still loves you.” Phoenix said, sitting next to Jake, “Not let Rooster enjoy the fact that he now has a Daddy’s girl and stop being a brat.” She leaned in to kiss Jake’s cheek, before winking at Bradley and digging into her own pizza. 

“I love you too, Princess G.” Jake said, smiling at his niece, then looked at Phoenix, “Are you staying at the house tonight?”

“Most of my stuff is already packed in boxes so I planned on  just spending most nights there now.” She replied. 

“Good.” Jake said, leaning over to drop a kiss on her temple, “I like it better when you’re there.”

“Me too.” She said, smiling softly at him. “We have to leave early tomorrow to have time to stop to get the last part of Gracie’s present.”

“You both spoil her too much!” You groaned 

“No such thing.” Jake said, “It’s not possible to spoil our Princess G.”

“You’re impossible.” You laughed, knowing you would never win this argument. 

“Daddy, how many more sleeps til Mommy and me live wif you?” Gracie asked Bradley. 

“One more week, Baby Girl.” He replied, “This time next week, we will be moving you and Mommy into our house. That’s 7 sleeps.”

“Too many sleeps.” She pouted, giving him her best sad puppy eyes. “This many sleeps?” She held up 3 fingers. 

“Already a negotiator.” Mav laughed, “You all are in trouble.”

“And the puppy eyes…” Coyote added, “Who can resist those? I’d be giving that baby anything she wants!”

“Gracie, we have to wait until next weekend because it’s a lot of work and hard to move.” You tried to reason with her, “We have to wait for another weekend when Mommy and Daddy don’t work. We wanted this weekend to be just for your birthday.”

“But I wanna live wif Daddy.” She said, laying her head on Bradley’s shoulder. 

“Between all of us, we could get you moved over there in no time” Coyote offered, “It’s not like it’s an entire house of stuff, and you’ve fed us so often it would be the least we could do. That way our cutie pie Princess gets to live with her Daddy way sooner than 7 sleeps. No weekend needed.”

“That’s a good plan. I’m free whenever you need help.” Bob said.

“I can watch Gracie here to make it easier too if that helps.” Amelia offered.

“What do you say, Sweetheart?” Bradley asked, smiling at you, “Feel like moving in sooner?”

“If everyone is absolutely sure they want to help, I’ll happily accept.” You smiled.

“Ok, Baby Girl” Bradley said, “Tomorrow, we’ll have your party, then on Sunday we will pack and if everyone is available Monday after work… we will move you and Mommy in with me. So that’s 3 sleeps!” 

“YAY!” She exclaimed, “I wuv you, Daddy!” 

“I love you too.” He replied, smiling, “Jump down and give hugs to all your uncles and aunt too. They’re the ones that are making this happen!”

Gracie jumped down and made her way around to everyone giving them hugs and kisses. 

“While we’ve got all the muscle, can we knock out two moves?” You asked, “We’ll order dinner for everyone that night and next Friday night we’ll have everyone over and I’ll cook. Just figured we could orchestrate a two for one deal…get Nat moved in while we move out?” 

“I can wait until the weekend, it’s ok!” Phoenix insisted, not wanting to make more work for people. 

“It’s absolutely no problem!” Bob said, “We can split the squad…divide and conquer!” 

“No sweat, it’ll be easy.” Coyote said, smiling, “We’ve got you!”

“Guys, it’s really ok…” Phoenix said.

“Nope, it’s a done deal.” Fanboy said, “We’re moving Y/N and Gracie to Rooster’s and Phoenix to Hangman’s. Next topic… Gracie, I hear there’s a Disneyland trip in the future… I think that needs to happen soon, don’t you?”

“YES!” She agreed, “You come too?”

“Of course, I’ll come!” He said, “I think we should get everyone to come, just like when we went to the zoo, that would be fun! Maybe this time we can get Papa Mav and Penny to come?”

“Now, wait…” Mav started to stay.

“PAPA MAV!” Gracie exclaimed, running over to him, “You go to Disney wif me and Mommy and Daddy and Unco Jakey and Aunty Nix and EVERYBODY?”

“Now, how can you say ‘no’ to that?” Penny asked, laughing, “He would love to go with you, Sweet Girl.” 

“I guess you’re going to Disneyland, Mav.” Bradley laughed.

“Dagger trip to Disneyland!” Jake said, “I’m just glad we’ll have a lot more supervision than just the two of us now. More hands on deck is always better.” 

“More supervision is always the answer when you two are involved.” Phoenix agreed.  

“I can’t even argue with that.” Jake shrugged, flashing her a smile. 

“Nope. That’s accurate.” Bradley agreed. 

“I’d say the whole squad needs adult supervision, but honestly, they put Pete in charge of them…”, Penny laughed, “So, not really sure what the Navy was thinking there.” 

“Mav’s in charge of us, but Simpson is tasked with supervising him.” Phoenix reasoned, “I think they assume that it’ll balance out.”

“I think they knew exactly what they were doing when they put all of you together.” You said, “You all fit perfectly. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses but they all compliment each other…if that makes sense. I wasn’t here in the beginning and from what I’ve heard it may not have been as well oiled as it is now, but I’d bet even then, even if it wasn’t as smooth you all worked well together.”

“You’re absolutely correct, Y/N.” Mav said, “Even at their worst, when they couldn’t see past their own noses, they complimented one another in their skills. The higher ups definitely knew what they were doing assembling this group, and were smart enough to keep them together.”

“Aww, Mav.” Jake said, “You really DO love us!”

“Of course he does, he’s adopted us all, hasn’t he?” Payback teased, “He now has 6 kids.”

“I don’t recall signing any papers or taking responsibility for any of you.” Mav laughed, “Well, except for Bradley… I signed up for that one.” 

“Sorry guys, guess I’m the only one that’s been adopted.” Bradley laughed. You were glad he’d been able to rebuild his relationship with his godfather. You knew the history and that it was still a work in progress, but that they were working hard towards the bond they’d once had. 

“Since Rooster is with my sister that makes him my family so that means you have to adopt me now by default.” Jake reasoned to Mav.

“You know, his logic does sort of make sense.” Bradley agreed, looking at Mav. 

“If Rooster and Hangman agree on something it MUST be true.” Bob added.

“If Bob backs it, then it’s 100% fact.” Phoenix said. 

“Looks like you’ve got yourself at least 2 adoptees, might as well make it 6.” Penny laughed. 

“Since you are I are together now, Honey, that makes them yours too.” Mav smirked. 

“Penny’s been mothering us since we got to North Island, Mav.” Fanboy said, “She adopted us willingly.” 

“Can’t help it, you all were a hopeless lot. You needed mothering.” Penny replied, winking at him. 

“So it’s official, we’ve been adopted.” Jake said, “Next order of business, when’s our Disney trip?”

“Barring any surprise missions or pop up training exercises we can probably schedule it for next weekend since we won’t be needing it to move anyone now. We can book a few hotel rooms or look at renting out a house for the weekend.”

“What do you think, Sweetheart?” Bradley asked, looking at you, “Family trip to Disney next weekend?”

“If everyone is free, I know a certain Princess would love to spend the weekend at Disneyland.” You agreed. 

“We’re in.” Jake said, looking at Phoenix to confirm, she smiled nodding back at him. 

“I’m definitely in!” Fanboy said, “Not missing this for the world.”

“I’m free and it sounds fun.” Bob said.

“I’m game. I might see if my sister wants to meet us there with her kids too.” Payback said. 

“That would be perfect.” You replied, “More kids for Gracie to interact with.”

“Then it’s set, Dagger family trip to Disney next weekend.” Penny said, “I’ll get Kenny to cover the bar and call in some of my extra standbys.”

“Here that, Princess G?” Jake said, lifting Gracie into his lap, “We’re going to Disneyland next weekend!”

“DISNEY?” She exclaimed, “YES!” 

“Our favorite Princess needs to meet the rest of the Princesses.” Phoenix said, “You’ll still be our favorite though.”

“Absolutely” Bradley agreed, “None of those Princesses are better than our sweet Princess.”

“Alright, time to get this princess home to bed so she’s rested for her big party tomorrow.” You said, “We’ll plan on being here early to help get all the food and everything set up, Penny.” 

“Don’t worry about it, Sweetie.” She assured you, “We’ve got it handled. Just enjoy the morning with your little girl. No rushing around.”

“Thank you again for letting us crash your backyard.” You said. 

“We were more than happy to have the party here.” Penny said, “No thanks needed.”

After saying goodnight and giving hugs, you and Bradley made your way to the Bronco, getting Gracie secured in her car seat. By the time you arrived home, she was already asleep, having worn herself out bouncing in the bounce castle.  Bradley carried her into her room and tucked her into bed after carefully pulling her shoes off. You decided letting her sleep in her clothes one night wouldn’t hurt anything. 

Jake and Phoenix arrived home shortly after. You and Bradley were wrapping some of Gracie’s presents when they came in. 

“And we’re the ones that spoil her?” Jake asked, taking in the array of presents being wrapped. 

“Ok so, we may have gone overboard.” You acknowledged, “But in my defense, this is her first real birthday party… the first year we’ve got people making a big fuss over her.”

“I understand.” Jake said, coming over and pulling you into a hug, “And it’s not like we ever had steller birthdays, so I get you wanting to make them amazing for Gracie.”

“I do.” You replied, “I want her to have everything we didn’t.”

“Just promise me you’ll remember that tomorrow…” Jake said, pulling away and flashing you his dimpled grin. “I’m just making sure she has the kinda birthdays we never had.”

“Jacob Seresin, what did you do?” You asked, knowing now he was definitely up to something. 

“It’s a surprise.” He said, “But Gracie is going to LOVE it and that is all that matters.” 

“Nat… you had ONE job.” You groaned, shaking your head, “You were supposed to keep him reigned in…”

“Yeah… about that.” She laughed, “Problem is… there was nobody to reign ME in?”

“I need to remember to send Admiral Simpson the biggest package of cookies and treats with an “I’m sorry” and “Thank you” card for dealing with all of you.” You said, shaking your head, “Seriously, the man has earned a bonus…or an early retirement… surely some fancy medal…”

“I love you, Tulip.” Jake said, cheekily, “You know you love me too. I’m your favorite big brother!”

“I do love you, you idiot.” You laughed, “You’re my ONLY big brother.”

“I just want to point out that I had nothing to do with this surprise.” Bradley said, smirking, “So, I’m not in the doghouse over this one. Sorry, Jake. Other surprises, I will fully admit to having a hand in.”

“What other surprises?” You asked, suddenly nervous.

“Look at the time, it’s getting really late.” Bradley said, changing the subject, “We should really get to bed. We promised Gracie chocolate chip pancakes for her birthday breakfast, she’ll be up early for those.”

“Definitely, it's gonna be an early start tomorrow.” Jake agreed, “We’ll be here for her birthday breakfast, but then have to go take care of the rest of her present, so we’ll meet you at Penny and Mav’s after to help with the rest of the setup.”

“OK, I’m just going to roll with it.” You decided, sighing. “I trust that whatever this surprise is will be something she’ll love and will be absolutely Uncle Jake coded, meaning chaotic.”

“There’s the spirit!” Phoenix laughed, “You’re not wrong either.”

“Alright then, I’ll see you both in the morning.” You laughed, “I love you both. Goodnight.”

“Love you too.” Jake smiled, kissing your head and hugging you. “Goodnight.”

***

The next morning Gracie was up with the sun, excited for her birthday. Before you even had a chance to wake up or think about starting her pancakes, she was bursting into your room and climbing on your bed with you and Bradley.

“Mommy! Daddy!” She exclaimed, “It’s my BIRFDAY!” I’m FREE!!”

“Are you sure?” Bradley groaned, pulling her down in between the two of you, “I dunno if the sun is even awake yet, Princess.”

“It is, Daddy!” She promised, “WAKE UP!”

“Happy Birthday, my sweet Gracie Girl.” You said, opening your eyes and pulling her to you into a hug. “I love you baby girl.”

“I wuv you too Mommy!” She said, snuggling into the hug for a moment before flipping around to Bradley. 

“Daddy!” She yelled, making sure he was indeed awake. 

“I’m awake, Princess.” He laughed, “Happy Birthday, Baby Girl. Come give me BIG BIG hugs.” 

She launched herself across into his arms, immediately snuggling into his embrace. 

“I love you, Gracie.” He told her, “I’m so lucky I get to be your Daddy and spend your birthdays with you now.” 

“I wuv you too, Daddy.” She replied, “You’re my best Daddy!”

“You’re my best Princess!” He replied, kissing her head and launching a tickle attack. 

A while later and after some caffeine, you’re plating chocolate chip pancakes for the birthday girl, as Bradley is getting milk poured into her sippy cup. 

“Happy BIRTHDAY Princess G!” Jake exclaimed, coming into the kitchen and swooping her up from her chair to hug her. “I love you!”

“I wuv you too, Unco Jakey!” She said, hugging him back. “You eat pancakes wif me?”

“Absolutely!” He replied, “They’re my favorite.” 

“I get to hug the birthday princess first!” Phoenix said, taking her from Jake. “Happy Birthday, Gracie Girl!”

“I wuv you Aunty Nix!” Gracie said, hugging her tightly.

“I love you too!” She replied, “I can’t wait to celebrate with you today!”

“You jump wif me in the bouncy castle?” Gracie asked her

“Of course I will!” She promised, “Uncle Jakey and I will happily jump with you!”

“Have a seat, I made enough to feed half of the Pacific Fleet” You said, setting a platter of pancakes on the table. 

Once everyone was full and breakfast was cleared, Jake and Phoenix headed out on their secret mission for Gracie’s surprise and you and Bradley started to get Gracie ready for the party. 

“I’m going to jump in the shower quick, can you get her dressed in a play outfit?” You asked, “We’ll take her Princess dress for her to change into at the party.”

“Sure can.” Bradley said, “Come on, Princess, let’s go get you ready while Mommy showers.” 

After a quick shower, pulling your hair up to keep it dry, you pull on a pair of shorts and the tshirt you’d ordered for the party that said “Mommy of the Birthday Princess”. You’d ordered one for Bradley that said “Daddy of the Birthday Princess” to wear as well. You took your hair down and ran a brush through before deciding to pull it into a loose braid to keep most of it off your face. 

“Alright, we’ve one birthday Princess dressed, but we both decided it would be in everyone’s best interests to let Mommy tackle the hair.” Bradley said, coming into your room carrying Gracie piggy back style.  

“I think I’m up to the challenge.” You said, smiling at the pair, “I set your t-shirt out for you.. It’s not a Hawaiian shirt, but figured you’d make an exception just this once.”

“I don’t ONLY wear Hawaiian shirts.” He pointed out, chuckling. He carefully let Gracie slide off his back onto your bed, then turned to look at the shirt, his face lighting up as he read it. “I absolutely love it, Sweetheart.”

“Good.” You said, kissing him, “Go get ready, I’ll do Gracie’s hair, then we can head over to help Mav and Penny.” 

“I love you.” He said, stealing another kiss before picking up his t-shirt. “Thank you for letting me be her Daddy.”

“I love you too,” You replied, “Thank you for loving her and for wanting to BE her Daddy.”

*****

When you arrived at Penny and Mav’s they were already hard at working getting food prepared and set up on platters. 

“There’s the birthday Princess!” Penny said when Amelia led the three of you to the kitchen. “Happy Birthday! Are you excited for your party?”

“Yes!” Gracie exclaimed, squirming to be let down from Bradley’s arms. He obliged, setting her down so she could run to Penny and give her hugs. 

“Where’s my hugs, Little Chick?” Mav asked, crouching down and opening his arms up. Gracie immediately launched herself into his arms. 

“Little Chick, huh?” You asked, smiling at the pair.

“Figured it was appropriate.” Mav winked, “We used to call Bradley Baby Goose… so Little Chick seemed to fit this cutie.” 

“Baby Goose?” You gushed, looking at Bradley, who sighed and chuckled, shaking his head at his godfather. “That is the most adorable thing EVER!”

“Thanks, Mav.” Bradley groaned

“Speaking of adorable,” Penny said, “I love your shirts!”

“Thanks!” You said, smiling, “I found them online and couldn’t resist.”

“Do you think we can get shirts made for the Disney trip next weekend?” Bradley asked, “Or is it too late?”

“I think we can probably make it happen.” You replied, smiling at him. “Maybe we can get them made for the whole squad?”

“I can guarantee you that every one of them would wear one.” Mav said. “Myself included.”

“Count me in.” Penny agreed. 

“Me too!” Amelia said, “Gracie, do you want to go play for a little bit while the adults set everything up?”

“Yes pwease!” Gracie said, “Mommy, Daddy, I go pway?”

“Go ahead, Baby Girl.” Bradley said, “Just make sure you listen to Amelia, OK?”

“OK!” She replied, running off with Amelia. 

 “I wish I had that child’s abundance of energy.” Mav laughed

“Or her resilience.” You said, thinking about everything she’d been through already in her three years of life and despite it all she was still the most loving, free spirited, and trusting child you’d ever met. 

“I dunno, Sweetheart,” Bradley said, “I think she learned resilience from her Momma. She’s a strong little little girl because she’s had you to learn from… and she loves with her whole heart, just like her Mommy.”

“He’s right, Y/N.” Penny agreed. “Her resilience and strength is a direct reflection of you. You’ve done an amazing job, Sweetie… no matter what, never doubt that.”

“Y’all are gonna make me cry before this party!” You said, tears threatening to spill over. Bradley pulled you into his arms, tucking your head into the space between his neck and shoulder. You breathed him in, recentering yourself and pushing back the emotions. Once you were calmed again, you lifted your head enough to kiss his cheek, “Ok, let’s get our daughter’s birthday party ready for her.” 

“Yes, Ma’am.” He smiled, kissing your forehead before releasing you. 

A few hours later Amelia found you all sitting outside having gotten all of the food prepped. All that was left was for the meat to go on the grill when it was time for the party. 

“Gracie fell asleep while we were watching Beauty and the Beast.” She said, sitting down next to Bradley. The two had really bonded recently. You could tell Amelia looked up to him, and saw him almost as a big brother figure. “She’s on the couch and I put pillows on the floor next to her in case she rolls off.”

“Thanks, Ames.” Bradley said, smiling affectionately at her. “She loves spending time with you, you’re really good with her.”

“She’s adorable.” Amelia replied, “I’m guessing a little sibling isn’t in the cards for me, so it’s fun to get to play with Gracie and have her around.”

“Definitely a no on the siblings, Sweetheart.” Penny confirmed, “That ship has sailed.”

“How would you feel about having a niece?” you asked, “Being an aunt could be just as fun as being a big sister.”

“Really?” She asked, her eyes lighting up and a smile spreading across her face. 

“I think you’d make a fantastic aunt.” You confirmed, then nodded at Bradley, “And since this one is in the only sibling club too, I think he needs to be adopted. Feel like taking on a big brother?”

“It does seem kinda cool to have a big brother.” She acknowledged, “I guess I can adopt this one. He’s kinda cool?”

“Just KINDA cool?” Bradley gasped, “Gracie thinks I’m SUPER cool.”

“I wouldn’t go THAT far…” Amelia laughed, “But… I think you’d be a really awesome big brother.”

“It just so happens,” Bradley said standing up and pulling her with him into a hug, “I think you’d be a really awesome little sister.” Amelia wrapped her arms around him, hugging him back. And just like that, the tears that had threatened to spill earlier were back. 

“What did we miss?” Jake asked, coming around the corner of the house  with Phoenix by his side. 

“Bradley just got himself adopted by Amelia as a big brother.” Penny said, wiping her own tears from her eyes. Glancing up you see Mav’s eyes suspiciously wet and red as he watches the two hug. 

“What took you so…” You trailed off, your eyes falling on the pony that was being led to the backyard behind Jake and Phoenix. “JACOB! WE SAID NO PONIES!”

“Ok, but in my defense, I never actually AGREED to that.” He said, flashing a bright smile, his dimple popping, “And Mav signed off on it. Besides, It’s a UNICORN, Tulip, not a pony.”

Looking back you noticed that there was indeed a unicorn horn attached to the pony’s head, making said pony a unicorn. 

“So, you can’t get mad, because we absolutely followed the no pony rule.” Phoenix pointed out.

“You all need full time adult supervision.” You laughed, looking at Bradley, “Were you in on this?”

“Absolutely not.” He promised, “I’m innocent…although, I kinda wish I’d thought of it. Gracie is going to LOVE it.” 

“I surrender.” You laughed, “I’m clearly outnumbered.” 

“There’s the spirit!” Jake cheered. “Mav, where should we have them set up the pen and Unicorn?” 

“We can make space next to the castle bounce house.” He replied, getting up and heading over to the bounce house with Jake and another handler leading the pony/unicorn. 

***

By the time the squad started to arrive, Gracie was awake from her nap, changed into Princess dress and already in the bounce house with Jake and Phoenix. 

“Where’s our birthday Princess?” Coyote asked, leading the group to the backyard. 

“Last I checked she was giving Jake and Nat a run for their money in the bounce house.” You replied, “They would probably welcome someone to tag out with them.”

“Mission accepted!” He said, “Fanboy, let’s go bounce!” 

“Can the bounce castle handle that?” Amelia asked, looking at the castle doubtfully. “That’s a lot of crazy in one confined space.”

Bradley and Payback almost fell on the ground laughing. Bob and Mav just agreed with Amelia. You and Penny shook your heads laughing, and decided to go grab drinks for everyone. 

Several of Gracie’s friends from daycare and their families arrived a little later. Mav started the grill up, getting the food going to feed the masses. Kids were running around between pony “unicorn” rides and bouncing in the castle, while the adults supervised, played yard games, or sat together and talked. 

“Looks like the perfect party for a princess.” Lauren said, walking towards where you and Bradley were currently standing watching Gracie ride the pony. “And it appears the live animals did in fact win out.”

“Lauren!” I’m so glad you could make it!” You beamed, “The unicorn pony is all Jake. He requires adult supervision at all times, I’ve learned.” 

“There are worse things.” She laughed, “I wouldn’t miss this for the world. I love getting to see the happy beginnings…and I know this is the start to a beautiful family.”

“Thank you again for all that you did for them.” Bradley said, “This is all possible because of everything you did to help. Gracie is living her best life right now.”

“I’d say she’s living her best life because she’s got two amazing parents and a very large extended family that loves her unconditionally.” Lauren countered, smiling at Gracie as she passed around on the pony.

“She’s definitely got a large family.” You agreed, looking around at everyone that showed up. “I never dared to even dream this could be our life.”

“It’s only going to get better from here, Sweetheart.” Bradley said, leaning over to kiss your head. 

“TIME TO EAT!” Jake yelled, drawing everyone’s attention towards where you had all the food set up. 

“We better get in there before there’s nothing left.” You said laughing, “Trust me, this lot can eat, so you’ll wanna get it while you can.”

“Come on Princess.” Bradley said, lifting Gracie off the pony, “Time to eat my sweet baby girl.”

“Daddy, you see me wide?” She beamed, proud of herself. 

“I sure did!” He replied, “You did so good! We might need to find you some riding lessons when you get a little bigger.”

“And so it begins.” You laughed, “I think this was Jake’s ulterior motive… making her fall in love with horses.”

“Horses and planes…”Bradley said, laughing, “It tracks.” 

You got Gracie a plate and set her with her friends to eat while Bradley got plates for the two of you and set them at the table the rest of the squad had settled at. 

“Looks like Gracie loves the Unicorn.” Jake said, looking pleased with himself. 

“She does in fact love the PONY.” You laughed, rolling your eyes, “Your evil plan seems to have worked.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Tulip.” He said, feigning innocence. “I simply realized that every princess party needs a unicorn.”

“Uh huh… had nothing to do with getting your niece hooked on horses?” You asked, not buying it for a minute.

“That is just an added bonus!” He beamed. “She’s a natural in the saddle too! Did you see her?”

“Your Cowboy is showing.” Phoenix teased, winking at him, “It’s cute, I’m not complaining… just stating a fact.” 

“I can show you my cowboy hat when we get home.” He offered, smirking back at her. “You can even try it on.”

“Eww, nope! No, stop!” You whined, “Jakey! NOT ok!”

“It’s just a hat?” Phoenix replied, not understanding your response.

“There’s a rule about wearing a cowboy’s hat, Sweets.” Jake said cheekily, “If you…”

“Jacob, there are small children present.” You reminded him, leveling him with your ‘mom’ look. “You can tell her all about it later.” 

“Now I’m really intrigued.” Phoenix said, looking at Jake. He leaned over and whispered in her ear. “IS THAT FOR REAL?”

You laughed at her reaction, nodding your head to confirm. 

“Care to share, Sweetheart?” Bradley asked, “Now I’m curious.”

“Depends…” You reply, “Do you happen to own a cowboy hat?”

“I could be persuaded to buy one.” He replied, “I’m guessing by your earlier reaction to Jake’s comment that it would be worth my while.”

“Bradshaw,” Jake said, glaring playfully across the table, “That’s my baby sister you’re talking to.” 

“And?” Bradley tossed back, smirking at him. 

“Just reminding you.” Jake replied, “I don’t need to be party to all your conversations. There are little ears here.”

“On that note,” You said, changing the subject, “I”m going to go check on the kiddos then get the cake from the kitchen.”

“I’ll come help.” Bradley offered. 

After making sure that Gracie was OK at the table with the other kids, you and Bradley made your way into the house to get her birthday cake ready along with the candles. 

“So…the hat rule?” Bradley asked, standing behind you and wrapping his arms around you as you put the candles into the cake. 

“The rule is if you wear a cowboy’s hat, you ride that cowboy.” You smirked, glancing back at Bradley. 

“I may definitely need to invest in a cowboy hat then.” Bradley said, dipping his head to kiss your neck. “Or we can change the rule… you can wear one of my uniform caps and ride the aviator.” 

“I think I like the sound of that flyboy.” You replied, turning in his arms, wrapping your own around his neck and pulling him down to kiss him. When you pulled away you added, “But for now, we need to bring this cake out to our daughter and keep her party moving.”

“Yes Ma’am.” He replied, smiling, “I can’t wait to watch her open all of her presents!”

“I have a feeling we may need to add a room onto the house to hold all of her toys.” You laughed. 

“We can make that happen.” Bradley said, picking up the cake from the counter. 

After a wild rendition of “happy birthday” was sung, you moved to the food table to start serving cake and ice cream with Penny’s help dishing it all up and Bradley helping to pass out the dessert. Once kids were once more sugared up and had energy, they returned to the bounce house and pony rides for a while before you attempted to round everyone up to open gifts. 

You were correct in assuming you’d need to add on to the house to hold all of her gifts. Her new extended family had definitely gone overboard. Mav and Penny had alone had practically cleaned out the Disney Store. She’d have lots of new Princess decor for her new bedroom. Bob got her a new princess themed tea party set which she immediately made him promise to play with her with. Payback and Fanboy went together and got her a princess bike with training wheels, complete with a princess helmet. 

“This one is from Aunt Nix and me, Princess G.” Jake said, handing her a brightly wrapped box. 

She tore the paper off and opened the box pulling out a small flight suit. It was customized with a Dagger patch on one side and her name  Gracie “Princess” Seresin on the other. Inside the box was also a child size pair of aviator sunglasses. 

“I match you and Daddy!” Gracie beamed happily, “And Aunty Nix!” 

“You sure do, Princess G.” Jake said, “And all your other uncles, and Papa Mav too.” 

“I fwy wif you now?” She asked, batting her eyelashes at her uncle. 

“Soon, I promise!” He said, “Very very soon!”

“That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” You smiled at Jake. “And very restrained from you….”

“Oh that’s not all.” He laughed, pulling out another giant gift bag, and handing it to his niece. You just shook your head. “Come on now, Tulip, you know me better than that.” 

Gracie pulled the paper from the bag and lifted out a pony playset and a little cowgirl hat with a princess tiara attached to it. She loved it, wanting to wear it immediately. Thankfully you’d put her hair into lower ponytails today so the hat fit over them. 

You and Bradley got her a couple of new toys and outfits, not wanting to go completely overboard. 

“There’s one more here for you, Baby Girl.” Bradley said, handing her a small wrapped box. You looked at him questioningly, not recognizing the box. He smiled, shrugging. “It’s my first birthday with her as her Daddy… it had to be special.” You leaned over and kissed his cheek, whispering “I love you” in his ear.

She tore off the paper on the little box opening it up carefully, her eyes lit up and she smiled widely at Bradley. 

“Daddy! It’s pwetty!” She exclaimed. Nestled inside the box on a satin backing was a tiny necklace with two small charm pendants. One was a small princess crown and the other an f-18. Where he’d managed to find that was beyond you. 

“Bradley, it’s perfect.” You whispered, tears springing to your eyes. 

Jake leaned over, his own eyes suspiciously wet, to help Gracie take the necklace from the box and to put it on her. Looking closer at the necklace he said, “Princess G, it’s even more special.. It says ‘Daddy’s Girl.” on the crown!”

At that, you lost the battle and the tears freely fell from your eyes. Bradley wiped his own eyes, smiling as Jake put the necklace on Gracie. 

“I wuv you, Daddy!” Gracie said, coming over and throwing her arms around Bradley as he picked her up, holding her tightly to him. 

“I love you too, my sweet Baby Girl.” He told her. 

“So, would now be a good time to tell you that Bradley and I definitely went ahead and ordered that Castle playset for y’all’s backyard?” Jake asked, wiping tears from his eyes as he tried to add some humor back to the situation. 

“You know what?” You said, wiping your own eyes, laughing through the emotions, “I’m not even shocked.”

After the party wound down, the squad stayed behind to help with clean up. Payback and Fanboy offered to take the bounce house back to the rental place once it was deflated. Gracie got a few more rides on the pony before the handler had to load her back onto the trailer. Jake handed you their business card, saying they also offered riding lessons. 

You all loaded Gracie’s gifts into Jake’s truck as there was more room in there than the Bronco. You let Gracie keep a few things out she wanted to play with the next day while you all tackled the packing, and you would take the rest straight to Bradley’s house to avoid having to move it twice. 

“Hey, what time are you thinking of starting packing in the morning? Do you think it’ll take all day?” Mav asked, as you and Bradley were loading the last of her gifts.

“Definitely not all day.” You said, “It’s mostly clothes and toys, not a whole house.” 

“How would you feel about bringing Gracie out to the hangar tomorrow morning and taking her up for her first flight?” Mav suggested.

“You wanna take Gracie flying tomorrow morning?” Bradley asked, smiling. 

“I was thinking more along the lines of her Dad and Uncle taking her up in the air.” He clarified. “She’s small enough, she can be strapped into the backseat with someone… probably safer that way anyway.”

“You’ll let us fly your plane?” Jake asked, clearly shocked.

“You are both highly skilled pilots.” Mav laughed, “Of course I trust you to fly my plane.”

“What do you think, Sweetheart?” Bradley asked, “Can we take her flying?”

“Just promise me no crazy pilot stuff and to return her safely back to the ground.” You said, “So maybe Jake should be the backseater tomorrow.” 

“Hey!” He protested, “I take GREAT offense to that.”

“I don’t doubt your skills, Jakey.” You laughed, “I doubt your restraint in not turning my daughter into a dare devil at 3 years old. I don’t know that my Mommy heart can handle that. Can we agree to wait until she’s older to turn her into a daredevil?”

“Fine.” He agreed, “Rooster, for tomorrow only, I’ll be your backseater.”

“I’m sure Bob and Fanboy can give you some tips if you need them.” Bradley teased, “Thanks, Mav. This really means a lot.”

“No thanks needed.” He replied, “Taking you up flying when you were little is probably one of the best memories I have of your childhood.”

“So you’re saying I should be ready for my daughter to follow in her uncle and Daddy’s footsteps to become a Naval Aviator?” You asked. 

“Hell yeah!” Phoenix said, bring Gracie over to the group. “She’d be fierce.”

“I don’t know that the Navy would survive that.” Mav laughed. “It’s barely surviving all of you.”

“Fair.” Phoenix laughed. “This one is fading fast. I think all the bouncing and riding tired her out and the sugar is leaving her system.”

“Let’s get her home to bed.” You said, “She’s going to have another exciting day tomorrow, apparently.”

“You and Nix take the Bronco with Gracie and get her tucked in,” Bradley said, “Jake and I will run all this to the house in his truck then head that way.” 

“Wow, that’s huge… Rooster’s letting someone else drive his Bronco.” Jake chuckled, “Didn’t think we’d see the day.”

“She’s trusting me to be a father to Gracie.” He replied, shrugging, “Nothing can compare that, man.”

“Fair point.” Jake said, “Let’s get this haul to your house and get back to our girls.”

After saying goodbye to Penny, Mav and Amelia and making plans to meet the next morning, Bradley loaded Gracie into her car seat. Phoenix got into the passenger seat buckling in, Jake going around to her side leaning in to steal a kiss. 

Bradley walked you to the driver’s side, pulling you into his arms, your own winding around his neck. 

“Drive carefully, Sweetheart.” He said. “My whole world is with you… and not the Bronco… you know that right?”

“I know, Baby.” You said, smiling, pulling him down to kiss him. “I love you, Bradley.”

“I love you too, Y/N.” He said, resting his forehead against yours, “See you soon.” 

A/N: Sorry the update took so long! I promise, I've got more time now so updates should be coming quicker! :)

Taglist:

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[sseniita]

hi I really like the dumb blonde story! Will you write more of it? If not that's okay!

hsjdh

(also can you tag me if you do so I can see it?)

@wacko-weirdo sorry it took like a million years,,,, i had no idea what to write LOL , this one is for u my liege

i pledge allegiance to dumb blondes (2!)

part 1!

The villain didn’t know why he thought this would be easy. The hero was loud and attracted a lot of attention, not only to themself but to the villain as well. They would insist on keeping the other soldiers occupied with card games and nightcaps that kept them dizzy till morning which resulted in ten extra laps around the base during morning drills. 

They complained about broken nails, needed 15 minutes to do their hair, insisted on a private bathroom and argued with authoritative figures, but worst of all, they seemed to take a liking to the villain. They had gotten comfortable far too quickly. Though they never had the pleasure of fighting each other on the field, the sparring practice late at night behind the cafeteria proved the villain was missing out. The hero wasn’t good to any extent- but they were fun. 

To say the villain liked them was an overstatement. Perhaps saying the hero liked the villain was too. The villain could barely stomach when they showed up to breakfast practically shirtless, when they laughed at half-assed jokes, and returned lazy and suggestive compliments. But the villain liked them on the ground. Panting, bloody, covered in bruises and dirt. He liked it when they bounced back in a pathetic attempt to bring the villain down. He liked the way they’d try stalling by flirting, it was different when they did it with the villain as compared to the soldiers- it was malicious with intent.

“That was terrible.” The hero was on the ground, staining the cuff of their sleeve by cleaning the blood off their face. “Get up,” he demanded.  

The villain grabbed them by the collar of their jumpsuit. The hero only chuckled. 

“Ok. Ok. I’m up.” They rasped. 

“It’s been a month. You haven’t gotten any better. You’re wasting my time, hero.” The hero grabbed the villain’s wrist that was still gripping tightly to their collar. 

“Maybe I don’t wanna get better. Maybe I like the way you hit me.” 

Despite himself, the villain was amused. The hero was anything but heroic. They'd make a terrible captain. 

“You’re insane. I can’t wait to kill you.” The hero smiled at that- like it was the first real compliment they received since they arrived at the base. They got their footing and the villain let go. The hero feigned disappointment.

“There goes my plan to continue your rehabilitation,” they sighed "why continue training me then?"

“It’s more so for myself. It’d be boring if you died so quickly.” he turned to his jacket he’d disregarded when the fight was getting stuffy. "Besides, it's not like you're learning much of anything."

“I should kill you.” 

The villain clicked their tongue. “Now, now. Heroes don’t kill, sweetheart.” Before he could reach for his jacket, a force threw him down. The villain had almost forgotten the feeling of panic-fueled adrenaline, like a shock through his body.

In less than the second the villain took to realize what was going on, the hero was straddling his hips and sending two punches (one for good measure) right to his jaw. The villain spit out blood and stopped struggling against their tight hold.

The fact that the hero of all people had managed to overpower the villain was a cold realization that sent shivers up the his spine; (that could have also been thanks to the hero's muscular thighs around them- but who's to say) they were getting sloppy. The villain was at ease where he should definitely not have been.

Having the hero as his pawn in the game was as sobering of a thought as having the hero being the only pawn in the game, his plan, his magnum opus.

The hero could very easily destroy the villain's plan and make him start from zero, but if he played his cards right- they were also the key to his victory. Ironically, it wasn't much better on the hero's side: the hero needed the villain for their own reasons. Both extremely vital, but useless, if not fatal, if uncooperative. The villain knew the hero knew this. This is to say who is in control here?

After hero caught their breath, their hands landed on the villain's chest, applying enough pressure to be considered a warning.

“I win.” They smiled. “I may not be strong, but if I’m good at something it’s looking for an opening.” their lips curled into something knowing, something taunting. "Opportunities come in all shapes and sizes." They patted the villain's chest, almost amicably.

“I noticed, all with how natural it is for you to get on top of someone."

"Thanks." they sneered. No venom.

They leaned down, their lips dangerously close to the shell of his ear. 

“I know what your plan is. Trust me I won’t make it easy.” The villain only listened, coming to the exciting realization he was the hero's only pawn as well; no one was in control. And they had entered a complex mutually dependent situation. Perhaps the first for both of them. How romantic.

The villain turned his head, lips touching the hero's cheek as they whispered.

"Perhaps I’ll underestimate you when the time comes. But for now, you’re nothing more than a teenager whose daddy didn’t let play with the big kids.” 

“Ohh, it’s going to be so much fun bringing you down” 

“Oh, the most fun. But we have things to do before then, don’t we?” 

The hero pulled their face up to stare at the villain. Neither one of them looked away as they glared daggers. The hero finally chuckled, breathlessly. 

“You know what the other soldiers say about us?” The hero whispered, the electric tension immediately disappearing. They seemed to be good at that.

“Can you blame them? A popular hero and reformed villain sneak away in the middle of the night for hours.” The villain explained. “Bound to raise some eyebrows.” 

“Imagine the drama when we become best of friends at Hero HQ, only for a heartbreaking betrayal.”

“You’ve always been a spectacle, Hero.” The hero finally got off the villain, lending a hand the villain accepted and didn’t let go of once they were both standing. “You seem ok. But something tells me you’re so much worse.” 

“You’re a bad influence. And a wretched teacher.” 

“Unfixable, some would say.”

“Clearly.”

[kittenjammer]

Hi! So I was going through your snape tag (btw sorry for the million notifications you probably got), and I noticed you weren’t very much a fan way back on the early days of your blog. Feel free to completely ignore this if you don’t feel like answering (it is truly none of my business), but I’m always fond of hearing people’s “how I came to like this character” or “why I changed my mind about this character” stories and I was wondering what yours was :)

Hiii! Thanks for the ask! (No worries on the notification spam lol) and I appreciate that you reached out!

Yes! I think he was one of the characters I had the most difficulty empathizing with because I had such a strong, emotional reaction to him. Especially after OotP forward. He's divisive! (Also looking back through my Snape tag has me internally cringing a bit with how little grace I extended to the poor guy...ah well. With age/maturity comes wisdom...? D: )

I'm ngl, after reviewing some of the earlier posts, my immediate reaction is to delete them as my opinions have definitely changed, but maybe it's good to leave it as a record of my evolving mindset towards the character? lol

Ok, so what changed?

Well, it certainly helps I'm now closer to adult Snape's age from Book 1 than Harry's age when I was first reading the HP series as it was being published. I didn't give much thought to Snape beyond he was a mean teacher and a bully, for the first four books at least.

I got into the HP fandom around when GoF had been released so I was discovering plenty of fanfic and fan meta. Snape was one of the more ... well ... fans reactions to him that liked him or even wrote him sexually with the cast confused middle-school me, to be honest. I was more interested in the child characters than the adults, so I was vaguely aware of how he was portrayed in fandom but didn't really engage.

This changed after OotP was released, and we finally got some explicit Severus Snape backstory and history with the Occlumency lessons. I had a really an emotional reaction to SWM and some of the memories we got a glimpse of. I was empathetic and not completely surprised to learn Snape was from an abusive home, that he had possible trauma and issues that explained his actions and why he was so cold and angry. Like Harry, I was really disappointed in how his father and Sirius treated Snape. There's just no excuse for how they sought him out to pick on him for fun. I was on Harry's side with confronting Sirius and Lupin about how his dad and they acted.

Also, I read everything with shipper eyes, and immediately felt there was more to Severus and Lily's relationship beyond her just coming over and reacting to James actions lol. They called Jily a crack!ship but it looks like they were validated in the end lol.

However what really made me emotionally react with anger was that we are basically being shown that Severus knows what it's like to be a scared child being abused and tormented by authority figures and other children, but he does it to his students?? I could not understand his actions at a time but I would get genuinely angry when I did think about it. To child me, this felt like a betrayal, both for a fictional character and when actual people did this. Looking back I was reacting so strongly due to my own personal experience with trauma in the home and with authority figures abusing children.

I recall not caring much about him in HBP or DH. I was much more upset with Sirius' death than Dumbledore's, so Snape's "betrayal" was just not something I recall reacting emotionally to. In DH, I definitely remember reading his memories and just feeling irritated with him. To me, he was a guy with trauma and emotional issues, sure, but I felt his behavior towards Harry, Hermione, and Neville was not excused for me. At most I felt begrudging respect for him and acknowledged he was not a completely terrible person. Harry naming one of his son's after him felt so bizarre, and I just could not understand why Harry wanted to honor him. Forgive him, sure I could understand Harry doing that, but naming his child after Snape just left me feeling confused. I could not understand how Snape could have loved Lily so much, but treated her son like he did.

I know I'm basically rambling, but it really has been a journey. :P

When I grew out of HP and the fandom after DH was published, I never gave much thought to him or his circumstances until I (unexpectedly) returned to the HP fandom last summer. I reread all of the books as an adult and I had the life experience and maturity to understand that:

A) Snape was funny! A lot funnier than I remember.

B) His actions throughout the book were too subtle for teenage me, but they made me really question my previous feelings for the character.

C) Everyone Dumbledore was kind of terrible to him!

I read a lot of really well written meta on the characters and HP. Specifically I think it was @pet-genius posts on reddit I found that really helped me put my thoughts and feelings regarding HP, primarily Harry, in order. And I can't help but compare and contrast Harry and Severus as characters and how they each approach their trauma and grief.

@ashesandhackles metas on Snape was also really helpful in highlighting the examples in the text that showed how Snape's actions sometimes directly contradict with what he said, especially to Harry. He's always presenting himself as this cold and controlled person, disparaging emotional reactions and connections. Yet he's one of the most emotionally reactive characters in the series next to Harry!

I was able to see clearer a lot of things I liked about him. That he's an incredibly skilled and hardworking person. That he cares very deeply for people he does allow himself to have feelings for and connections to. That he was scared, so scared, probably all the time after Voldemort's return to power, but he never wavered in his determination to continue to show up and fulfill his duty. Him making the Vow with Narcissa to try to protect Draco. The incredible pain he must have been in when he used the Killing Curse on Dumbledore, the one person left that knew everything about him and still valued him. That he dies keeping silent about the Elder Wand ownership, protecting Draco from becoming Voldemort's next target.

I also viewed his relationship with Lily as so much more complex than unrequited love. There's a meta out there (I will edit this post and link it if I find it again) that argues Snape wasn't really in love with Lily, and that "Always" quote is so much deeper than a romantic, or sexual, type of feelings for her. I think it argues that Snape elevated Lily to a symbol of Good, or at least used her memory to guide him on morality. I felt so much more respect for the guy that he had dedicated his life as penance, basically, for betraying his once-best friend once more.

This is getting long, I hope this wasn't too much. I have changed my feelings on how Severus treated Harry and the other kids close to him in that year's class. Looking at how he acts to others and comparing to how he acts with Harry, I now now I feel Harry was a very specific trigger for Severus and he showed Harry and Harry's potions class a side of him that he generally did not show to anyone else. This is just my personal interpretation based on how other adults, from Dumbledore to even Lupin, and kids speak of Snape as a professor and seem to think Harry is just exaggerating that Snape hates him. When, no, Snape really is projecting his hate and rage and grief about James and Lily onto Harry and he does actually hate the kid. Which, it's probably easier for Severus to think he hates Harry rather than hates himself.

I could keep going but I will stop here for now. I hope that answers the question? But feel free to chat more :) I hope you don't mind I responded with a blog post, I can take it down if you would rather it be answered privately lol.

I suppose the tl;dr version is that Snape makes me angry because he makes me feel things about myself that I don't like, but with age and reading other people's thoughts on the character has definitely made me come around to they guy!

[princess-of-the-corner]

Ok for the whole Enji fires his pr team. What was the event that caused Enji to fire them? I'm looking back at the tags and I'm just tad confused. I understand Midnight and Snipe had something to do with it, but otherwise I'm lost.

So it's.

Honestly the PR Team thing ended up as the tag but I mostly just tag the Enji/Midnight/Snipe shenanigans with that as a whole because I don't need yet another todoroki shenanigans tag

BUT

The stuff with Midnight and Snipe is because Enji realizes he needs someone to help him get his shit together, but has very few options. So he goes to a sort-of coworker that he knows will call him on his shit(and has no issue dunking on him)

It turns into a really weird ass friendship that is the main point of the tag, but the PR team thing is a side plot to it.

It kicks off because the PR Team kinda. Takes it upon themselves to post something on the official Endeavor Twitter Account, basically speaking for him on an issue. Enji really only notices this because he's out with Midnight and Snipe at the time, and they see the tweet is trending(aka: getting dunked on) and since Enji is 1.) right there and clearly hasn't posted on twitter in the last hour and 2.) they know his stance on lgbt stuff so a subtle homophobic 'traditional family values' tweet is out of character.

Enji is.... a little mad at this. Because while he's given the PR team a lot of free reign, he doesn't like them speaking /for/ him like this. Putting out a 'this is what the PR team says' statement? Fine. Low-key impersonating him? Not good.

This causes him to look more into what his PR team has been doing which does include various adjustments to his image. Weather it be things like this, things like sorting through which charity events Enji is invited to and directing him toward the 'acceptable' ones for public events, and a million little other subtle things.

This eventually leads to uncovering the Big Issue: that at some point after Toya 'died', Natsuo tried to do something about the family situation by reporting the abuse/trying to go to the media and spill the tea about the hot mess. And the PR team did their job at protecting Endeavor's reputation by making sure the kid knew to shut the fuck up.

So yeah while the original issues could've been solved with some re-training, better communication, and Enji keeping an eye on how much the PR team are doing to his image.....

This quickly turns into a 'throw the whole group out' situation.

[chrisairgames]

Outer Rim Marches, #0.1

In January, I started a westmarches campaign for Mothership RPG. This is the first post in a series of play reports and mini-reviews I intend to share of the campaign-in-progress.

Let's call this post "Zero Session #1," in a series of Zero Session posts, where I'll get into the how/why of organizing and running this campaign.

Why? Well, I own a ton of Mothership modules. I've been playing and writing for Mothership RPG for over two years, yet most of my sessions became playtests and that "work-only" connection to the game was burning me out.

So, I decided to build a sandbox campaign around the physical MoSh games I have in hand, and to find folk to play at an open table.

For now, ok, sure, it's more of an open table sandbox for interconnected one-shots than a "true" westmarches game, especially since the game has only one GM (me, but I'm hoping to open that up soon). But Outer Rim Marches sounds cool, eh?

Initial Forward Operating Base (F.O.B.)

The PCs arrived at Sater's Redemption. They work for The Company, who hired them to represent their new presence amid a mess of other factions, and leases a ship, The Orpheus, to the Crew.

(We decided the official corporation name of The Company that owns their ship will be revealed in play. That hasn't happened yet, eight sessions later. I love hanging this important piece of worldbuilding in the balance for when it can have a bigger narrative impact. Not knowing wtf is going to happen is one of my favorite parts of running ttrpgs.)

The Crew's job: explore the Outer Rim to establish footholds in new trading hubs (F.O.B.s), discover novel exploitable resources (artifacts), capture profitable exobiological lifeforms, and spread the influence of The Company.

The above graphic might be familiar to folk who follow my substack, the 5 Million Worlds Rokaner Report. Each month, I release a free sci-fi adventure setting, and this station was the featured world in the April edition. A taste of things to come.

Game Organization

When I set out to recruit players, the first important bit was setting a firm, regular playtime. When people reached out, I sent them the Consent in Gaming fillable PDF to get an idea of collective Lines/Veils. Once I got that back, I sent a google survey to gauge interest in modules and game commitment to split folks into ping-able groups.

The playtime is working out well. We had one three week break, I was out sick one time, and only once did we have not have enough folk to play. Ten sessions out of a possible fifteen since January!

I kinda fucked up the module-interest part of the survey though. I listed module names, and without content tags this was pretty useless for the players (outside the BIG names, like Hull Breach). I intend to redo this survey soon, and I'll share a copy here when I do!

The player commitment bit was super helpful, at least. Since I run games on Discord, I split players into three groups: the Command crew who vote on which job to take, the mainline players are the Crew I ping each week to advertise the game (I make an "Event" in Discord), and and a final Cryo group to call on when games don't fill up right away.

This has worked super well for me, even when I drop the ball on giving the players the Event ping in advance.

The Sector Map

I built this hexmap using Sectors Without Number, which is a sector generator for Stars Without Number. I opted for this against the recommendations of Mothership's Warden's Operation Manual because in a westmarches campaign, from what I've understood, the world is meant to be established once the game begins. I think this is especially important should other GMs and player groups begin playing in this world.

To be blunt, I found using this is kind of annoying. There's a lot of irrelevant SWN info to delete, TONS of systems to hide individually, and it's pretty intensive to integrate module info into the systems.

In short, listen to Sean McCoy's advice in the Warden's Operation Manual if you're starting your own Mothership game and don't fucking do this, haha.

And to be honest, I'm not sold on this even being useful as a sandbox tool intended to be shared with other GMs, even. The verdict is still out. To be continued in another Zero Session post down the line.

ANYWAY! This map looks empty, but that's because it's the player-facing starcharts the Company gave them. PCs need to buy hyperspace route maps at various hubs to explore beyond these bounds. So the star and hyperlane layers hold loads of hidden info.

Feel free to poke around the current state of the sector.

And I do like the shift from a web to hexmap. Little swirls of points get me all crossed up. The Jump-drive distances in Mothership are amenable to using hexes, and tracking distance (i.e. time passed) is straightforward.

ORM Campaign Sneak Peek

Mothership space travel takes a long-ass time, in case you didn't know. To date, we've played nine adventures over ten sessions, and over two years have passed in the campaign world.

The players skipped over a lot of systems to go to Hardlight, which they've recently learned is on the edge of the Public Sector (from Hull Breach). Gonna be some interesting sessions coming up.

The next Outer Rim Marches post will be the official ORM#1, in which the players board the lauded Year of the Rat.

[brokensenseofhumor]

PIMON DID NOT APPEAR IN CHAP 19 BUT FUCK IT WE BALLLLLL (aka Hi welcome to Pimon theory episode 3)

(And this is also the first episode without trigger warnings let’s goooo!!!! Spoilers are there tho so 🤷)

If it’s to anyone’s interest, here’s the link to episode 2:

Now to the theories

Theory 1: Wait how old is he? *checks* WHAT THE FU-

Ok yes yes, ik the title seems weird but hey that was my genuine reaction, no judgment please…

(+shoutout to NinkaScantrad on Mangadex again!!)

So, In our previous episode we discussed the chance that Pimon is indeed the actual Paimon from the Ars Goetia, well…

I THINK I WAS RIGHT???

Well, I was translating the French translation on Mangadex cuz it’s a million times easier than to translate the original Japanese pages on Google translate then copy paste it to my other translation app, but I digress- and…

YEA, I THINK PIMON IS INDEED A DEMON, CUZ HOLY FUCKING SHIT BJORN YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO DROP A BOMB ON ME LIKE THAT???

So yea, Pimon is actually about 300 years old… WOW. I genuinely thought he was like 70 before I started theorizing about him at all…

So, chance is he probably has the same condition as Arthur, which means he’s mostly unaffected by age, has inhumane/Lu bu levels of strength, and probably has the soul eye much like Jack and Arthur (and to think I thought it was Morton that had the soul eye…)

Also, given one of the conditions symptoms is being mostly unaffected by age, and Arthur seems like he’s in his 20’s, Pimon is probably much much older than Arthur…

Is Arthur in his 90s??? We might never know

Theory 2: BOOBS????

Yes yes, being Horny on main for an evil old man for like the 4th time(?), I have no regrets tho :]

Here is my first analysis of Pimon rack from last month/a few weeks ago:

And here is my analysis from earlier today since we have more sideways panels of him now

So yea, Pimon booba IS very likely to be real.

And that’s everything for todays episode folks, see you all next chapter release!

Tags: @incorrect-record-of-ragnarok @huntersmoon1 @roygiri @onecantsimply

[mamaspresley]

my request was kinda just a day with austin and the reader is also a model! so like waking up next to him, him coming to a runway show of yours, going to an elvis premiere with him/going to see him on a talk show and maybe some smut at the end but if you’re not comfortable with that, that’s totally ok! whatever you feel would happen in a day with him! thank you so much!

day in the life | austinbutler

note okk i was gonna add smut but tbh it felt right to end it where i did so i didn't wanna push it. BUT expect more 18+ fics dw wc 1,966 tw its all fluff

     having him home made you feel a million times better. from picking him up at the airport to eating supper together at your kitchen table that night, it was the simple things that you got to do with austin that made you the happiest. it was a lonely couple months that he was away, finishing up filming and doing a press tour for his movie. but finally, the time had come that your boyfriend was home, and you two could finally go back to reality. your shared apartment felt so tiny, so enclosing without him there. the rooms were brighter, the walls didn’t feel so tight around you when he came back. 

     your favourite thing, though, by far, was waking up next to him. you had nearly forgotten how beautiful the boy was in the morning — it seemed impossible that he could be more gorgeous than he already was. 

     you rolled over, half asleep as your eyes were just slowly opening. the sun was bright, shining directly into your room because austin always slept with the blinds open so he could wake up to the sun the next morning. now laying on your side, you opened your eyes fully, coming to see austin sleeping soundly right in front of you. his eyes were shut, eyelashes fluttering against his skin as his plump lips were parted, soft snores coming from them. his skin glowed in the sunlight, looking like the colour of honey, a golden brown. you ran your fingertips across his bicep, up his shoulder, and then through his soft, sandy hair. it was then that his eyes gently opened, his blue irises immediately meeting yours as you smiled. 

     “good morning.”

     the boy hummed, letting his eyes fall closed again as he felt your fingers brush over his cheek. “mm, mornin’ sweetheart.” he let a sigh escape from his parted lips before he opened his eyes once again. “you been up for long?”

     “no. just now. just watching you.”

     he chuckled, and you felt his laugh under your hand which cradled the side of his face. his lips curled into a smile, lines carving into the sides of his mouth and dimples in his cheeks. “you’re a creep.”

     “i love you,” you said, and austin smiled. 

     “i love you too.” the boy sat up, pushing himself up and leaning on his elbow. he slipped his hand through your hair, cupping your jaw as he ran a thumb across your cheekbone. his gaze flickered from your eyes down to your lips before he dipped down, kissing you sweetly. “let's get up, love. busy day ahead of us.”

     you had completely forgotten that today was packed full of important things to do. you had a shoot at 1, austin had an appearance on a talk show around 4, and to end the day was the elvis premiere. austin insisted on spending the whole day with you, since it was his first full day back and even though you unfortunately both had packed schedules, he wanted you to spend every second with each other. to no degree did you want to leave him again, so you happily agreed. 

     once you both had breakfast, sitting at the kitchen table with each other, listening to some record austin had playing while you two chatted about anything and everything, it was time to leave for your shoot. you were modelling for some clothing line — to be honest you weren’t entirely sure what, your agent was the one who handled everything. 

     it was fun, having austin tag along. he’d never really seen what you did up close, and to be honest him being there gave you more confidence than ever. with every clothing change came an abundance of compliments, each one sweeter or more creative than the last. eventually he ran out of things to say and stuck with a “holy fuck” or “jesus christ, y/n” but you loved it either way. he took so many pictures, despite you saying he didn’t need to since you had a professional photographer doing the exact same thing. he shushed you, continuing to take snaps from behind the scenes. 

     as soon as you were done with the shoot, it was time for austin’s interview, which thankfully was just down the street. he was making a guest appearance on jimmy fallon, talking about his rise to fame and how he landed the role of elvis in his new movie. you stayed backstage the whole time, watching the show from the wings with his manager. he looked so gorgeous on stage, dressed in black dress pants, a black blazer and a black dress shirt unbuttoned to show his chest. his hair was messy and god, when he walked backstage during commercial you swore you were gonna jump on him. 

     jimmy started off by congratulating him on the role and reading him some of the reviews on the movie. “uh, vanity fair says it may as well be a star-making turn for austin butler, and i agree with that,” jimmy said, and you saw a smile creep up on his austin’s lips. “entertainment weekly says austin butler stares down the lens and melts it.” at that one everyone laughed, and austin blushed wildly, running a hand through his hair as he shook his head. 

     after that him and jimmy spoke about baz, the audition process, and about playing elvis. “well yeah, it’s terrifying. it’s that thing where, you know, it’s the biggest responsibility i’ve ever felt. to him, his family, to all the people around the world who love him so much.” the more austin spoke, talking back and forth with jimmy, the more comfortable he got and you could tell how excited he was to even be sitting there. 

     it was after he made austin do his elvis impression that jimmy brought you up. “so you just got home from the press tour, right? how is it, being home? you actually brought your girlfriend here.” 

     “i did, yeah,” austin chuckled, smiling from ear to ear. “i was away for a while, it was hard. we wanted to spend the day together after being apart for so long.” everyone in the audience cooed, and even from far away you could see the pink tint grow on his cheeks as austin grinned. 

     “how long have you guys been together?”

     “just over two years now. she actually moved with me to australia when we started filming but came home when we were finishing up,” austin explained. 

     “so i have to ask,” jimmy said, leaning forward in his chair, “does she love the ‘elvis’ you as much as every other girl in the world? because from these reviews…" jimmy trailed off, laughing as everyone else did. 

     austin smiled. “yeah, she loves it. she’ll make me do the voice at home sometimes,” he admitted, and you felt your cheeks heat up with embarrassment. “she hasn’t seen the movie yet, but she will tonight so i’m not sure how she’ll react.”

     “well it can’t be a bad one,” jimmy said, and austin smiled, his eyes flickering to you off stage. you scrunched your nose at him, shaking your head and he smiled even bigger. 

     you met austin backstage once the show was over, embracing him in the biggest hug as he stepped off stage. he lifted you up, squeezing you before setting you back down. “how was it?” he asked, keeping his hands on your waist. “did i stutter or anything? did i sound stupid.”

     “no, baby, it was perfect.” you smiled widely, your arms around his shoulders, playing with his hair at the nape of his neck. “you looked great. so good. perfect. i love you. you’re amazing.” austin grinned, tightening his hold around you to pull you closer and kiss you. 

     pretty much right after, you and austin headed to the premiere. the theatre that the screening was at was halfway across town, so you got in the limousine that austin’s manager arranged for you, him, and his team, and headed out. austin wore the same thing as he did on the show, but thankfully you had enough time between schedulings to change. now you wore a dark green dress that hugged your curves with a large black blazer over top and black heels. you sat with austin in the limousine, his hand on your knee, fingertips drumming along your skin. you grabbed his hand, interlacing your fingers with his, and smiled up at him. he smiled back, lifting your hand to kiss the back of it.

     at the premiere, the paparazzi bombarded you, taking pictures of you and austin as the two of you made your way inside. there, you settled in to watch the movie, and after it was done you couldn’t believe your eyes. you had seen some parts of the movie, of course, and a couple years back you could even remember running lines with austin in your place back in australia. you’d seen him in costume, everything. but seeing the whole movie, seeing him as elvis for the full length film, it was insane to you. you had a hard time wrapping your head around it. austin had done a phenomenal job, you were so incredibly proud of him. you loved watching him play the character, he completely transformed so effortlessly, it seemed. he was so talented, and he didn't let you forget it — once you got home he decided to play a few records by the king himself and belt out some of the songs that you had just previously watched him perform.

     he started with jailhouse rock, turning around to look at you at the beginning of the song with a smirk on his face. he spun around, pulling off his blazer dramatically and throwing it across the room. “the warden threw a party in the county jail,” he sang, keeping his arm up from when he’d thrown his jacket, “the prison band was there and they began to wail. the band was jumpin’, and the joint began to swing. you should’ve heard them knocked out jailbirds sing.”

     austin grabbed your wrist, spinning you around and he danced around, pulling you with him. you loved when austin was like this, goofy and having fun and letting loose. you remembered when you met him, he was so shy, hating to step out of his comfort zone unless he had to. in a way you loved the movie more for that reason — it forced him to be uncomfortable, it made him grow. it made him confident. 

     you laughed and danced around the living room with him until you were both tired. unchained melody came on and the two of you took that as an opportunity to catch your breaths. austin had brought you into his chest, wrapping his muscular arms around your smaller frame, holding you close to him. the beautiful song played in the background, elvis presley’s voice drowning out any thoughts or unwanted noise in the house. the two of you slowly began swaying back and forth to the song, austin humming along. 

     once the song ended, you glanced up at the boy, resting your chin on his chest. he looked down at you, and seeing the grin on your face, it cued one on his. “what’s up, baby?”

     “i love you,” you said simply. austin hummed, smiled widely as he cupped your face in one hand, the other coming to leaf through your hair. his thumb stroked your cheek softly as his eyes poured into yours. he was so beautiful

     “i love you too, my girl.”