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blackjackkent · 7 months ago

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Jaheira is Not a Deadbeat

I am, as always, deeply in love with the kids' ambient dialogue while waiting for Jaheira to come inside. And it's time for me to have Opinions.

FIG: I saw her! I swear! RION: Are you sure? Maybe it was just a laborer holding a shaggy grey mop! FIG: Be serious, Rion! Who puts braids on a mop?

FIG: She'll be here any second. Maybe she's sneaking! RION: Doubtful. We'd hear her knees cracking.

And of course my favorite:

RION: Enough, Fig. There's no point getting your hopes up. She'll be back when she's back. FIG: You don't think she will! RION: I know she will. But we'll wait a little longer, if you like.

😭😭😭😭

Rion absolutely knew perfectly well what she was supposed to do from Jaheira's instructions. She just didn't want to. She's been hanging on to the desperate belief that Jaheira was going to walk through the door and make it unnecessary - and, as it turned out, she was right.

OK, fuck it, I'm doing a post about this now. :P

Despite what the Tumblr BG3 fandom would have you believe, Jaheira is not a "deadbeat mom." Is she a parent with emotional constipation issues and way too much time at work? Sure. But so are plenty of other parents on both Toril and Earth. It's SUPER clear from the way all the kids (including Rion) talk to and about her that they LOVE her and she has been an enduring presence in their lives, and that her recent disappearance was both unusual and devastating.

There are books she reads the kids up in the bedroom! Fig is so excited to announce she's back, indicating that the absence is not a normal occurrence! Jhessem has convinced herself they share a bloodline! Jord got to go to the market with her as a boy! These are not the circumstances of children who do not give a shit about their parent or vice versa!

The devnotes about Jord’s conversation in particular do not show a picture of a man with ill-will towards a mother who felt it customary to abandon him:

JORD: I tended to it. I just let it... thrive in its own independence. You know, same way you raised us. (Devnote: Well meant potshot at his mother, no malice in it) JAHEIRA: I raised you to be a sweet and kind boy. What happened? JORD: I watched what you did instead of listening to what you said. (Devnote: Amused, gently mocking his mother) JORD: This house has taken in a lot of children over the years. Mother dear was sometimes more commander than, well... mother dear. (Devnote: Smiling, explaining why he and Jaheira trade barbs. No criticism, just understated affection)

It is, perhaps, worth noting at this point as well that Jord - and Rion, and Fig, and even Jhessem - speak with that teasing, mocking tone towards Jaheira… but so does she - towards the people she cares most about, including you as the player. The kids are acting as they have learned, and words like this can and should easily be read as gestures of affection. And they clearly trust Jaheira enough to bring this playful rudeness to the fore without fear of it being misconstrued or turning into hostility.

And if they are like Jaheira in this way, they’re also not going to be comfortable showing the real depth of their feelings in front of you, the player character - who is fundamentally a stranger who has just walked into their house. Why would they? Jaheira clearly doesn’t; indeed, even her more serious conversation with Rion only takes place outside where even the other children aren’t listening.

Perhaps most significantly, I truly don’t understand how anyone can interact with Tate for even a moment and think that Jaheira does not have a deep, if often unspoken, bond with the kids she raises:

JAHEIRA: I hope you were hibernating, little cub, I can’t think of another reason you wouldn’t come down to say hello. TATE: Jaheira! I d-didn’t… didn’t w-want to see if you were r-really dead. They said… JAHEIRA: Who said? TATE: Jord and Rion. They didn’t think I c-could hear… JAHEIRA: You little sneak-thief. Well, they were wrong. Look! Not dead! I just… had a few adventures.

She is so soft and gentle with him in a way that she is with no one else, a way that indicates that she knows him and how his personality is different from the others. And he in turn has clearly been utterly devastated by the idea that she might be gone.

Take, as well, the evidence provided by Minsc when he is present in these conversations! There’s plenty of evidence to indicate the degree to which Minsc is guided by Jaheira’s behavior - to the degree that a doppelganger wearing her face was the key ingredient to binding him temporarily into the Cult of the Absolute. And Minsc - far more comfortable with emotion than Jaheira, at least in some ways - is clearly very affectionate with the kids as well:

FIG: STAND ON YOUR LIVER! MINSC: It is stand and *deliver*, little Fig. Though I think I like yours better. You bellow like a true berserker!

JHESSEM: A fine day to you, saer. Are you known to this court PLAYER: Eh? JHESSEM: Ugh - play along, would you? MINSC: Lord Boo is most pleased to make your acquaintance, my lady! Word of your grace has spread far and wide among the hamster houses. (Devnote: Swooping in to preserve the child's make-believe after the player ruined it.) JHESSEM: Enchanted!

MINSC: Boo is also very well! And happy to see *you*, Rion. RION: And I him. Enough that I’ll let him keep his lumbering, sweaty steed inside.

Would Minsc have taken it upon himself to have such a comfortable relationship with these children if Jaheira did not? I doubt it. He’d be friendly, certainly, but this familiarity goes a great deal beyond that.

And as for Rion herself - it's definitely reasonable to assume that she's had a strained relationship with Jaheira as she's grown older. (I have a lot of headcanons about this for my specific worldstate canon, but even just sticking to the game canon, it definitely seems like that's the case.) But leaving aside that - can you blame her for being upset at this particular moment?

As far as Rion knows, her mom was recently emotionally devastated for an indeterminate reason. (Minsc's apparent death. None of the kids are surprised to see him arrive, so clearly none of them knew he was supposed to be dead - but also there's no way that Jaheira didn't look afterwards like someone hollowed her out from the inside.) Then, without further explanation, she disappeared for what appears to have been several months (again, clearly not standard procedure), and after weeks of no contact, sends a seven-word message indicating she is about to die.

How exactly is Rion supposed to feel at this moment? This is an incredibly emotionally fraught circumstance, and if it's precisely representative of her overall relationship with Jaheira I will eat my hat.

Also - much is made by the game, by Rion, and by the fandom about that seven-word message, but if you try to chastise Jaheira about it, she gives further context:

PLAYER: Only seven? That’s cold, Jaheira. JAHEIRA: The cleric who cast the Sending was wounded. Should I have sobbed on her shoulder?

Jaheira was caught in a no-win situation. Trapped in the Shadowlands, a terrifying ordeal all by itself, with a gaggle of Harpers she had to protect, many of whom had apparently been injured by their encounter with Ketheric Thorm. If the only cleric she had access to was wounded, this was before they reached Last Light and met Isobel.

Jaheira had ZERO reason to hope at this point - but she also still felt her own inescapable responsibility towards the people under her command. To send a longer and more emotional message would have been to put strain on her injured comrade and also risk making it very clear that she felt the situation was hopeless. The Harpers very well might have broken and scattered, condemning themselves - and, frankly, many others, given their crucial contributions to the final Act 2 fight - to death.

And then she lives, against all her own expectations, and returns to the city. And her dialogue reflects her conflict over this fact as well:

JAHEIRA: I have given you much reason to think that Harpers hoard secrets like precious stones. But I promise you, this was not some intrigue. Just, ah… plain and simple foolishness. As if by keeping clear of my family, I might keep them clear of the cult in turn. And if this fight were to go against us, well… they had already done their mourning. Why visit it on them twice?

She then goes on to discuss the city and her place in it - and relates it directly back to her kids as well.

JAHEIRA: I was wrong to think I could keep my children from this fight. They’re Baldurian born and bred - the only damned reason I root myself in this place. This city is a cesspit. An open sewer of the soul, that taints us with its filth and churns us out when all that is good has been stripped away. It also happens to be their home - and so it is mine. Ugh. That might be the first time I have said that out loud.

If Jaheira wanted to disappear and leave her kids to handle themselves, she would have done it a long time ago. It wouldn’t be hard; she is fully capable of vanishing into the wilderness never to be seen again - and in truth, there’s every reason to believe she would be considerably happier to do so… except that it would mean leaving her children behind. They “root” her in Baldur’s Gate despite all of her previous inclinations and everything that comes naturally to her, and everything she does is guided ultimately by the need to protect the city because it is their home.

And that, my friends, is love, a love that she shows even if she does not know how to voice it.

TLDR: Jaheira's absence in the Shadowlands was definitely not a normal occurrence, and her kids clearly love her deeply and were devastated by her apparent disappearance. That she is a woman who keeps herself far too busy with work and has no idea how to express her own strong feelings does not, has not, and never will make her a "deadbeat."

#bg3 meta #baldur's gate 3 meta #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #jaheira #jaheira bg3 #bg3 jaheira #bg3 rion #rion bg3 #bg3 minsc #minsc bg3 #minsc #thank you all for coming to my ted talk #this post was originally supposed to be a liveblog post but it got out of hand XD i've been percolating on all of this for a while #50% credit for this post also goes to astreamofstars who contributed many of these thoughts and helped flesh out the others #and also jennycalendar who mentioned the kids talking like Jaheira which was a big cause for this post being written in the first place <3 #🚨 JAHEIRA IS NOT A DEADBEAT 🚨

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kozachenko · 2 months ago

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Well since I'm alive again I might as well post some of the art I did during my hiatus, and since I was talking about Keiki in my last post I might as well start with this piece here that I did of her. (click for better resolution)

Artist's Notes;

Ok so I remember having the idea for this a while back and wanted to try going for a very monochromatic palette. I also wanted to generally keep the background very minimal, mainly so the lighting and Keiki herself can stand out.

As for Keiki herself, I mainly stayed on-model with her design... minue the glowing hair, which, I'll get to that in a moment, but yeah I mainly just wanted to focus on making the pose readable. As for the flame hair, I mainly did this because I thought the potential lighting scenario it could make would be fun to play around with. I also wanted to try out rendering flame again and I think the lighting around Keiki's face is my favourite part of the piece.

I applied this technique with flame rendering to the human spirits near the bottom of the piece. I used the lighter parts of the flames to represent some vague skeletal structures, and their faces are inspired by a Salvador Dali piece (it was called something like "Flaming Giraffe" idk) but that's where the surrealism inspiration ends.

Don't worry though, I do have some art of Keiki that I did a little after this piece where I make her look weird. This piece was before I made some changes in my stylization, so I consider this the last of an era of my style. This is also before I found a new way to render hair, which you'll see soon, don't worry, I plan on just dumping all of my art I did up until this point and then going into hibernation again.

Speaking of, I might as well set some expectations for my posting schedule right now. Due to life keeping me busy, as well as my mental health and enjoyment of art, I won't be posting every time I finish a new piece. I started to enjoy drawing so much more again during my impromptu hiatus, and I want to keep enjoying that feeling for as long as I can. If I post stuff any sooner or later, it'll probably just be dependent on my mood that day, so expect me to kinda just spawn in out of nowhere every now and then.

Now then, I will once again pray to whoever is up there that Keiki will do something in Touhou 20 because I am still holding out hope she will appear again. Like, she was made as an allegory for AI and robots and considering today's world she would be perfect to bring back for this. Please, Zun, just bring her back and develop her character more, us Keiki fans only have Touhou 17 and that's it, she never appeared again, and you set her up like she may come back so please just let her return or do something at the very least please-

#touhou project #art #fanart #touhou fanart #keiki haniyasushin #touhou 17

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sleepymirko · 7 months ago

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. .•°•. . Unspoken comfort . .•°•. .

..•°•..•°•..•°•..•°•..•°•..•°•..•°•..•°•..•°•..•°•..

Oliver Aiku shows up at your apartment unannounced, noticing he hasn’t seen you around much lately. What he didn’t expect to hear was that your boyfriend cheated on you...

Word count: 1,4k

Oliver Aiku x fem! Reader

Fluff, slight angst, comfort, friends to ??, Aiku is a player but we're not surprised

Enjoy! (and let me know if there's some errors! English isn't my first language!

..•°•..•°•..•°•..•°•..•°•..•°•..•°•..•°•..•°•..•°•..

It was an uneventful day in the middle of fall, and the landscape was dressed in warm colors. However, Oliver could barely admire it as his view was quickly obstructed by the red locks of his friend, Sendou, who sat next to him in the karaoke room, killing time with some friends.

He looked back at his phone, scrolling on his chats when he came across yours. It was nearly three weeks ago the last time you guys talked, Oliver knew that sometimes you don't answer right away for various reasons but.. why he felt like it was a bit strange? Maybe because you were close friends? Maybe he should text you something?

-Did you join some top-secret hibernation society or something? I swear I haven’t seen you in weeks.-

A girl boldly sat on his lap, looking for his attention as he was too busy to notice her at first. "Who are you writing to?" The girl asked, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "A friend. She's been a bit too evanescent lately."

"Does it matter though? It's not like you have time right now." She said with a sultry smile, gaining the soccer player's attention. "Uh? Really?" He teased as she smirks in response. His phone buzzed and the girl frowned but she was stubborn enough to stay.

-yeah I just don't feel like going out. But I'm doing good-

-you don't feel like it? Sweets I'm pretty sure you barely leave the house-

-..are you bored? Because I'm pretty sure that you remembered me because you were probably scrolling your chats.-

Ouch, that hurt. But now he was sure that something was up.

-ok my bad. I'll be a better friend but you have to remember answering too. This time it was your fault👀-

-I'll be more careful then 🙄-

The interaction was brief enough to make him smile but he thought it was time to check on her. He didn't had to ask the girl to get up that she was already out of sight.

It was definitely time to check if you were going good like you claimed to be. "Already leaving, Oliver?" the girl said, smiling subtly. This girl is resilient, he thought. "Something urgent came up. Really a pity not to have fun with such a pretty thing," he said, smirking as she blushed. "And here I thought I could give you a taste of heaven…" she said, looking at him with her lips slightly pouty.

Oh, what a sweet temptation women are.. he thought.

Somehow, they always managed to make him do what they wanted, but when they were no longer fun, the magic just disappeared. Sometimes, he almost felt bad about it, but the high was too sweet to abandon.

"I'm afraid we have to save this conversation for another day" the soccer player said as he opened the door, leaving a pretty frustrated girl behind. "To me, she seems more than a friend" the girl spat, unable to mask her jealousy any longer. His head turned, but the door was already closed. More than a friend? It wasn't the first time he had heard such words. His previous girlfriends would surely agree—they had said the same thing when he messed up.

But you were a different kind of story. You two were friends because your parents were on good terms, and one thing led to another. You got close pretty easily, maybe thanks to his sisters, who always asked about you. He even taught you how to ride a bike and even how to dye his hair. Strolling through the streets, he glanced back at his phone, rereading the latest messages and chuckling. The walk had been unexpectedly shorter than intended, and he now found himself in front of her door. He knocked and waited for her to open it, confident she would look slightly surprised.

When Y/N opened the door, she was completely taken by surprise. Oliver stood there, unmoving, a signature smirk playing on his perfect features. She noticed he was wearing his soccer jersey, guessing he’d had practice earlier in the day.

“Oliver...?” she half questioned, surprise lacing her voice.

“Who else?” he joked, cracking a smile as she involuntarily mirrored it. She wouldn’t say it out loud, but she loved how effortlessly he made her smile—sometimes it felt like he had a spell over her.

“I’m here to check on you, and I must say, you exceeded my expectations. Can I come in?” he asked, stepping slightly closer to her door. Instinctively, she moved to the side, allowing him in.

“Sure... come in,” she said, closing the door behind him.

They walked into the kitchen, and she offered him something to drink. “Why the sudden visit? I’m perfectly fine,” she said, attempting a casual tone.

“That doesn’t look like ‘perfectly fine’ to me,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m just feeling a bit down, but it happens sometimes. I’ll get over it eventually,” she replied.

“I don’t know if I believe you,” Oliver said, staring at his glass of water, idly turning it in his hands.

“Why is that...?” y/n asked, confused by his skepticism.

“Because you’re not looking at me. And if I need to be more precise, you’re avoiding eye contact,” he said, setting the glass down on the table and scanning her with concern. She felt exposed as his eyes took in the way she glanced everywhere but at him.

C'mon, look at me.. he thought. Just a peek, if you're doing fine, you shouldn't struggle to make eye contact.. right?

There was something about her avoidant mannerisms that he found unnerving, how her hands were buried in the sleeves of her oversized hoodie.

He was craving her gaze, a surging need for her to finally let go of what was holding her hostage.

And then, as if she had been holding her breath for a long time, she finally spoke.

She looked down, her expression carefully masking her emotional state. Her tone was low, every fiber of her being tired and helpless:

"He cheated on me."

How ironic. Of all the people who could have heard her story, it had to be him.

Sure, they were friends, but she knew better than to accept her growing affection for the soccer player. They never talked about love, and she was painfully aware that his lifestyle could easily upset her.

After all, the guy was a cheater too, wasn’t he?

Oliver, on the other hand, was shocked. He should have suspected something, especially with how closed off she had seemed. Now, it felt like an invisible wall had risen between them, and seeing her so miserable stirred an unexpected emotion within him.

He felt an intense urge to punch the guy in the guts for the audacity of pulling such a stunt, but his brain quickly worked against him.

Why are you so mad about this?

You should be the last person to talk.

It's not like you're any different.

He was furious—at himself and at her ex. It was hypocritical, sure, but it made him wonder: would he have done the same?

"Shit, I shouldn't have pressed you. Now I feel like an asshole," he said, running his hand through his hair in frustration.

"It's okay. We broke up two weeks ago. I feel better now," she said, looking at him, not expecting such a reaction from the soccer player.

Was he... upset?

"So you're telling me that you're okay? When you opened the door, I immediately noticed that something was off. You don't have to play tough. Not with me," he said, his tone stern but carrying a hint of concern.

It was enough to make her tears fall, her castle crumbling down. Oliver didn’t waste time, pulling her into a tight hug.

Strangely enough, she felt like she could finally let it all out—the anger, the sadness, the overwhelming sense of betrayal.

After some time, as they sat on the couch with her still in his arms, she finally relaxed, exhaustion overtaking her.

"Oli, I'm really tired right now... I don't know why. I mean, I slept more than enough last night," she said softly, her voice slow and faint.

He chuckled, the sound deep and warm, and she felt her cheeks flush slightly.

"Then sleep, sweets. When you wake up, I'll still be here. For you."

She looked up at him, only to regret it when his gaze held hers, an unspoken feeling swirling in his eyes that she couldn't identify.

Lowering her head slowly, she let her eyes close, giving rest to both her mind and her racing heart.

Please let me know if something doesn't feel right! Thank you for reading!

#bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock #bluelock x reader #oliver aiku #aiku x reader #blue lock aiku #oliver aiku x reader #oliver aiku x you

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dragoneyelashart · 2 months ago

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ᯓ★ the summer we lost • chapter 3

summary: it was supposed to be the perfect summer—just before college, you and your online friend "william" had planned out meeting this summer, but everything came to a screeching halt when your parents dropped the bomb that you had to get a job at a family friend’s dance studio. so instead of having fun, you’re stuck teaching kids who can barely stay on their feet, alongside a girl you can’t stand. now, while your friends are living their summer, you’re tangled up in a mess of pirouettes, bratty 7-year-olds, and a summer you’ll never get back. warnings: angst | mature language | sexual content | substance consumption

authors note: so chapter 3 is hereee wc: 2.9k

the summer we lost masterlist

your alarm doesn’t go off. mostly because you didn’t set one. today’s your first official day off in weeks, and you’re clinging to every second of it like it’s oxygen.

the sun leaks through your blinds in soft golden strips, warming your pillow, and for the first time all week, you don’t feel like you’re already late to something. no screaming children. no ballet shoes. no billie.

just silence, a little bird outside your window, and the familiar buzz of your phone lighting up with a text.

aaliyah: r u alive?

you smile, thumb already typing back.

you: barely. just woke up. what’s up

aaliyah: party’s tonight, remember?? don’t be lame

you stare at the screen for a second, brain still half-asleep.

you: oh god that’s tonight?

aaliyah: YES. u said u were coming. dress nice, something slutty or mysterious idk like u just murdered a man in monaco

you: what does that even mean

aaliyah: just be hot. i’ll pick you up at 7

you throw your phone onto the bed and roll over, groaning into your sheets. you had agreed to the party, mostly out of guilt and aaliyah’s persistence, but partially because she was your best friend. she threw one every summer, and missing it was borderline criminal in your friend group.

and maybe you could use the distraction.

you check your messages again—just one from your mom (asking about laundry), and a tiny, familiar one from “w.”

w: you better tell me everything about this party. i’m already mad i can’t be there to crash it

you: you’d probably find a way to spike the punch and start a rumor

w: obviously 🙄

her messages feel like a hug. like a little invisible thread tugging at the edge of your world, pulling you back when things get too overwhelming.

you: kinda nervous though. idk why. haven’t been out in forever

w: ok so we’re u in hibernation, maybe you just love my company so much

you: 😒

w: pretend you're in a coming-of-age movie or something

you: what if i am

w: then i’m the hot mysterious love interest who shows up halfway through

you laugh, dropping your phone onto your pillow. maybe tonight won’t suck after all.

aaliyah picks you up at 7 just like she said and you both make your way to the house the party was going to be at. the music’s loud, a pulsating beat that vibrates through the floor and into your chest, but you can barely hear it over the buzz in your head. there’s a weird tension hanging in the air, something thick that you can’t quite put your finger on, but it’s making your skin crawl.

you’re standing by the drinks, trying to keep your mind distracted. aaliyah's next to you, her hand wrapped around her red cup but not really drinking, her gaze locked onto the door as if she’s anxiously waiting for the something.

the door opens, and a few people trickle in, but it’s the sight of them—billie and leilani—that stops aaliyah cold. your heart stutters. she’s here? just when you thought you could escape her.

billie steps inside like she’s been here a million times before, confident, almost arrogant, with that same look she always wears. but now, there’s something else to it: her arm is casually slung around leilani’s waist, pulling her close like they’ve been attached at the hip forever.

leilani, aaliyah’s younger sister, is leaning into it, her head tilted back, laughing at something billie says. the smile on leilani’s face is too soft, too trusting. it hits you like a punch in the gut.

"oh my god," aaliyah mutters, her voice low but sharp, enough to make you glance at her. she’s rigid, her jaw clenched, and her fists are tight at her sides. the look on her face is pure fury.

"what’s wrong?" you ask, trying to keep your voice steady, but something about the situation has your heart racing.

aaliyah doesn’t even look at you, her eyes glued to the pair at the door. "isn’t that your sister?" you ask, your voice unsure. you grew up with aaliyah’s family, how could someone so innocent, like leilani be with someone like billie, stuck up, arrogant and just downright rude.

"yeah," aaliyah bites out, barely looking at you, her eyes still locked on them. "what the fuck is she doing" she says the words like they're coated in venom, the anger seeping through each syllable.

“and why is she with billie,” she spits the name like it’s something sour. “that bitch i was telling you about.”

you blink, not sure what to say. you glance back toward billie and leilani, who are still standing in the doorway, billie’s arm wrapped tighter around leilani, her fingers grazing the skin of her side. it’s casual, but it looks so much more than that. billie’s body language is too comfortable, too intimate for something that should be so new. she doesn’t even seem to notice the looks she’s getting, strolling in like she owns the place.

“she’s such a big player,” aaliyah continues, her voice clipped, tight with frustration. “always has been. she does this to everyone—makes them feel like they’re the only one, makes them think they’re special, then moves on like they never mattered.”

you frown, your eyes flicking back to billie’s relaxed posture, the way she’s holding leilani against her. all that, to someone so sweet as leilani? you don’t say it out loud, but the words are there, burning in the back of your mind.

“she’s like that with everyone,” aaliyah mutters, her hands trembling just slightly as she glares at them. “you think you’re the one she’s interested in? no. none of us are. it’s all a game to her. especially leilani. i fucking warned her about this.”

your heart sinks as you take it all in—this is who billie is? this is the girl you’ve been trying to figure out, the one who’s been toying with you, too? a mix of confusion and disbelief builds in your chest, but there's also something else—a sick feeling, like a little voice telling you that this is what you signed up for. that this is what it means to get tangled in someone like billie.

aaliyah’s voice cuts through your thoughts, sharp and angry. “and now look at her. she’s doing it to leilani, right in front of me, after everything i’ve warned her about. she thinks she’s got her all figured out, all charmed up, but it’s just another game for her.”

you glance back at billie again. she’s got this easy confidence, this air about her, but now, it’s twisted. it doesn’t look so fun anymore. your stomach twists as you realize aaliyah might be right. you’ve been just as caught up in billie’s game, maybe not in the same way leilani is, but it’s still there. that pull. that strange magnetism.

aaliyah rolls her eyes, her lips curling in disgust as she watches billie laugh with leilani. “i’m telling you, stay away from her,” aaliyah says, her tone quiet but fierce. “don’t need her doing that to anyone else.”

you swallow hard. “how do you know this though?” the words slip out before you can stop them, the uncertainty in your voice clear even to yourself.

aaliyah doesn’t respond immediately. instead, she watches the two of them, her eyes narrowed in pure annoyance. “i—uh someone from work mentioned it the other day, something about her cheating.”

the weight of aaliyah’s words presses on you, each one landing like a stone in your chest. you didn’t want to believe it, but now it’s hard to ignore. how much of billie’s attention is real? how much of it is just part of the game she’s playing with you, too?

aaliyah doesn’t look at you as she says it, but her words land heavy between the two of you. “i hate her. and if you have any sense, you’ll stay away from her.”

you want to tell aaliyah, you want to tell her everything—that it’s not that easy to ignore her. she’s your boss, the boss you hate but that’s another story. but the words stick in your throat, tangled with all the confusion, the uncertainty, and the sudden doubt that you can’t quite shake. why was she making you feel like this? you hated her. aaliyah hated her.

the music pulses in the background, but it feels miles away now. everything feels out of reach, like you’re standing on the edge of something you can’t control.

you look at billie again, and this time, you don’t feel the same pull you did before. it’s not the same.

“wow, you can actually talk. didn’t know that was in your skill set,” billie says, her voice dripping with amusement. she leans against the wall, arms crossed, eyes gleaming with that same mix of curiosity and sarcasm she always wears like a badge of honor.

you don’t even bother to hide the annoyance in your expression. “oh, so sorry to disappoint. i guess i didn’t realize i had to entertain you.”

billie smirks, not even the slightest bit fazed. “entertain me? i don’t know, you’re just so... quiet. my tv’s never quiet” she tilts her head, studying you like you’re some kind of puzzle she’s just dying to figure out. “thought you’d be more... dramatic, considering, you know, everything.”

you feel your patience snap, just a little. “yeah, well, you’re dramatic enough for both of us,” you mutter under your breath, crossing your arms, trying to act like you don’t care. but your heart’s racing, the pull between you and her still there, even if you’re trying to ignore it.

billie’s grin widens, clearly enjoying the way you’re reacting. “oh, trust me, i know. i’m the life of the party. but it’s cute,” she teases, her eyes scanning you for any sign of cracking. “you’re like... a little unbothered island in the middle of all this chaos. it’s kind of refreshing.”

“refreshing?” you repeat, fighting back a laugh that would just give her more satisfaction. “you mean annoying.”

billie takes a step closer, leaning in just a little too close for comfort. “sure, i could see how you'd think that. but deep down, i think you’re actually a little into the drama. just don’t want to admit it.”

“no that’s not true, fuck you’re so—" you stop yourself, not sure if you want to let her see how much she’s getting under your skin. she was still your boss and you could still very well get fired. which would mean your mom would kill you. it’s frustrating, knowing she’s messing with you, but what else could you do?

before you can finish, you see aaliyah marching across the room, her face tight with frustration. she’s got leilani in tow, pulling her to the side with a scowl that could freeze anyone in their tracks.

“this can’t be good,” you mutter to yourself, watching the scene unfold.

billie, of course, notices immediately, the sly grin spreading back onto her face. “uh-oh, looks like someone’s in trouble,” she says, almost a little too smug.

you can’t help but roll your eyes. “you’re so annoying,” you bite out, voice thick with irritation. “seriously, you just had to come here and mess with everyone, huh?”

billie laughs, throwing her head back like she’s actually enjoying this. “mess with everyone? babe, i’m just having fun. not my fault people can’t handle a little fun.”

“fun?” you repeat incredulously. “this isn’t funny, billie. you’re just playing with people. like leilani. do you even care about anyone, or is it just... some game to you?”

she shrugs, unbothered. “you know you’re funny y/n, acting like you care, but you and i know that you only do what’s best for yourself.” her tone is casual, almost too casual. she takes the drink out of your hand and sips out of your red cup smirking as you look at her with disgust.

“ugh. you’re unbelievable,” you mutter, trying to shove your way through the crowd, the tension in the pit of your stomach getting heavier with every word.

billie’s voice follows you, teasing, but there's something else in her tone—like she’s trying to see if you’ll bite. “oh, come on. don’t walk away from me now, you can’t avoid me the whole night you know, oh and let’s face it you’re not the perfect princess everyone thinks you are.”

you freeze, your back to her, but you don’t turn around. “you really think that’s what this is about?” you ask, barely keeping your voice steady. “not everything is about you billie, you may be my boss but honestly i couldn’t care less if you fired me.”

for a brief moment, there’s silence. then billie’s voice cuts through again, quieter this time. “yeah, you say that now. but you’ll regret it later, what will your poor mom say when she finds out her perfect daughter got fired hm baby?”

you scoff before glancing over your shoulder to find a place to escape to. just in time you see aaliyah’s hand gripping leilani’s arm, pulling her away from the crowd. leilani’s eyes flicker with guilt, but she doesn’t fight it. aaliyah’s fury is palpable from across the room.

billie watches it all with a knowing look, like she’s seen this act before. but she doesn’t say anything, nor does she care.

you can’t help but feel a little unsettled as you turn back to face her, crossing your arms again, the air between you and billie growing heavier.

you’re not sure if you should leave, if you should just walk away from all this and ignore what billie said. but then you think of what aaliyah said, and the little flicker of doubt that runs through you. is this what you want?

you exhale sharply, the frustration bubbling up again, but you can’t find the words to make it go away. so you just mutter, “seriously, billie, just... leave me alone.” she raises an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “you sure? ‘cause the way i see it, you’re not exactly running away from me, pretty”

taglist: @amara-eilish @bilswifee @jayjaywetforbils @billieeilishismywifey @iamnicoke @st0nerlesb0 | send me an ask if you want to be added to my taglist!

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bethanythebogwitch · 5 months ago

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Wet Beast Wednesday: American eel

It's time for an American creature that is notoriously slimy and slippery. No, it's not our politicians this time, this one actually makes the world a better place. It's the American eel, an eelongated fish with an eelaborate lifecycle. Sadly, human activity has made this once-common critter much more eelusive, to the point it may go extinct. Allow me to eelaborate about this exceellent fish (ok I'll stop).

(Image: an American eel resting on a muddy bottom. It is a long, snake-like fish with a fin running down the rear 2/3rds of the body and around the tail to the underside. There are two small pectoral fins near the head. The head is pointed and the jaws have prominent lips. The lower jaw just out beyond the upper jaw. It it a light brown in color, fading to white in the underside. End ID)

American eels (Anguilla rostrata) are long, slender ray-finned fish of the family Anguillidae, the freshwater eels. It is fairly typical of a member of that family. The body is cylindrical, like that of a snake's and the dorsal, tail, and anal fins have combined into one long fin that runs down the back, around the tail, and along the underside at the rear of the body. They also have a pair of pectoral fins behind the head. The head is pointed, with long jaws, the lower jaw being longer than the upper. Unlike most eels. which have lost their scales entirely, the Anguillidae still have scales embedded in the skin, but they are so small it is hard to notice them at all. The scales grow in irregular rows and do not overlap, unlike most fish scales. The body produces a thick, protective mucus coating. American eels can grow up to 1.2 meters (4ft) and 7.5 kg (17lbs), with females growing larger than males.

(Image: a close up of an eel's head, showing off the robust lower jaw and the eye. End ID)

American eels have one of the broadest range of habitats of any fish. They live in freshwater and estuaries along the eastern coast of North and Central America as well as northern parts of South America, the Caribbean islands, and southern Greenland. They primarily inhabit rivers and streams as well as and connected lakes and ponds and can range far inland, especially along the Mississippi River. They are predators with a wide diet, feeding on fish, crayfish, worms, fish eggs, amphibians, and dead animals. As with most eels, they are nocturnal and spend their days hiding in burrows or in areas sheltered by rocks, plants, or other structures. American eels are highly mobile and will travel vast distances through their lives. They can move against currents, up slopes, and across wet grasses or short distances of land and young eels are capable of climbing rocks and waterfalls. Some populations will migrate out to coastal areas during the spring and summer and swim upriver for winter. Other populations remain in freshwater or estuaries all year round. During winter, they will bury themselves in the sediment and hibernate until spring.

(Image: the head of an American eel poking out of a burrow in pebbly sediment. End ID)

For a long time, the life cycle of freshwater eels was a mystery. They seem to just appear as young eels with no sign of eggs or larvae. Aristotle thought the European eel (also in the family Anguillidae) were mature earthworms and that they appeared out of damp soil instead of reproducing. It was also believed for a long time that they couldn't reproduce as scientists, including Sigmund Freud (yes, that Sigmund Freud) dissected dozens of European eels without finding eggs or reproductive organs. The answer to eel reproduction came later. Freshwater eels, including the American eel, are catadromous, meaning they spend most of their lives in freshwater but migrate out to salt water to reproduce. Sexually mature American eels all travel to the same place to reproduce: the Sargasso Sea. The Sargasso Sea is a unique location in the Atlantic Ocean, a calm location bordered by currents and known for vast amounts of floating Sargassum seaweed. We know that the eels travel in massive numbers to reach the sea and mate all at roughly the same time, but we don't fully know exactly when or were their spawning ground is. They probably mate in massive conglomerations where fertilization is uniform and random, something called panmixia. The eggs likely take a few weeks to hatch and will hatch all around the same time. Large females can release up to 8.5 million eggs. They mate only once and die afterwards, a characteristic called semelparity.

(image: an eel resting on rocky sediment. This one is a darker grey color than in the first picture. End ID)

Eels have a type of larva called a leptocephalus. These larvae are thin and leaf-shaped, with translucent bodies that make them hard to spot. American eel larvae are carried by the Gulf Stream into the Gulf of Mexico and then around Florida and up along the eastern coast of North America. This can take up to a year. Once the larvae are carried over the continental shelf, they metamorphose into glass eels. In this stage, they now take on the typical eel shape, but are still translucent, hence the name. Glass eels gradually grow more pigmented as they move closer to shore. Once they become fully pigmented and move into estuaries and the mouths of rivers, they are known as elvers. Historically, elvers were the first stage that most people were aware of and they seemed to appear from nowhere. American eels remain as elvers for up to a year before they grow into yellow eels, named for their yellowish color that darkens to brown or grey as they age. This is the adult stage, but they are still sexually immature. In fact, up until this stage, they have not even differentiated into males and females. That happens during the yellow eel stage and seems to be influenced by populations. The denser the eel population is in the area, the larger the percentage that develops into males. The reason dissections of eels failed to find sexual organs or eggs is because they were dissecting yellow eels that hadn't fully differentiated yet. American eels can remain in the yellow stage for 10 to 25 years as they gradually mature. Once the eel's life starts to come to an end, it will metamorphose into a final stage called a silver eel. Silver eels undergo physiological changes to prepare themselves for their journey back to the Sargasso Sea. Their pectoral fins get bigger, their digestive tract degrades, the eyes shift to being adapted to a marine environment, the skin thickens to prepare for colder ocean waters, and fat builds up. Silver eels don't eat as they journey to the Sargasso Sea, surviving on fat stores that will last them a journey of up to 4,500 kilometers back to where they were born. Interestingly, the farther an eel travels from the Sargasso sea during its life, the larger it will grow and longer it will live before returning to mate.

(Image: a leptocephalus larva. It is a small, flattened, transparent animal with a tiny head and large eye. The body is overall the shape of a long, slender leaf. End ID)

(Image: a group of American glass eels resting on a yellow surface. They have the same shape as the adults, but are tiny and transparent, with only the eyes, parts of the skull, and spine being a darker color. End ID)

(image: an American eel elver being held in somebody's hand. It is small enough to fit in the palm and is a light greenish-brow color. It has the same body structure as an adult. End ID)

(Image: a yellow eel that has only recently reached this stage, as evidenced by its yellow-green color. It is being held in somebody's hand. End ID)

American eels are classified as endangered by the IUCN, who also described them as being at a very high risk for extinction in the wild. The population underwent a major crash in the 1980s, though it had been declining for a while already. The biggest cause of this decline appears to be dams. Young eels can often cross dams to get upstream thanks to their ability to climb, but adult eels trying to get back out to sea to breed are often blocked. Even if they get past dams, they are highly sensitive to low-dissolved oxygen environments, which waters just below dams tend to be. An eel could make it over the dam just to suffocate at the base. Since yellow eels are more likely to become female in low population density areas, the drop in population is resulting in an abundance of females with not enough males to fertilize all of their eggs. Pollution is also a problem as certain pollutants can accumulate in the eel's fat, then poison it during lean times. Overfishing is another problem, likely just as big if not bigger than damming. American eels have been eaten since ancient times and eel meat is considered a delicacy in many cultures. Because of how complex their life cycle is, American eels can't effectively be bred in captivity and so virtually all eel meat on the market is from wild captures. Eel meat labeled as farm raised is usually actually captured from the wild to be raised in captivity and is therefore not sustainable. Despite multiple attempts to give them legal protection, American eels have little protection in the US or Canada. Eels provide an important service to their ecosystems, being a major predator and food source. They also act as the hosts to larvae of certain mussel species. Freshwater mussels are one of the most endangered animal groups and the lack of their hosts isn't helping with that.

(Image: a mature American yellow eel or silver eel being held up to the camera by a person in a blue sweatshirt. The eel is longer than their arms and a grey color with white underbelly. End ID)

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the-nosy-neighbor · 1 year ago

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Bug-a-Bye and Goodnight

As always, I have edits:

This will make more sense at the end.

I came across some theories about this song, and wanted to look at it in depth.

We are reading with the understanding that he may be referring to Eddie.

[A gentle piano and bassoon track begins playing.]

The sun is low, it’s cold and dark,— end of season, but could also be a reference to night and danger after dark

Just wind and snow, I must remark,

The bugs all head to slumberland,—interesting given the use of toyland, also the commercial about remderem/insomnia (some must sleep but Wally is in the opposite state. Too aware?), but could be a reference to death, like “the big sleep”

Some might find it sad, but I understand,—on face value, he will miss his friends, but knows that it is inevitable.

Even if I might not be able to see you,—can’t see Eddie because he is gone/buried

I know it’s for the best, I can’t keep you,—Eddie staying would lead to serious consequences for Eddie

It’s time for all of you to get some rest,—after what we saw Eddie go through, I bet he would be better in a different state

To tuck you all into your arthropod nests,—bug stuff; also Julie's hibernation?

At this point, those last few lines could refer to a sort of death for Eddie. Almost like frank can preserve him in some way by giving him a death in this universe. If we are talking puppet world, which we did see in commercials, most of Eddie’s anxiety happened in that state. So, can Frank give Eddie a suspended or death like state in one of the layers of reality and he is preserved in storybook world or our real world?

With one last check, that nothing is amiss,

I can see you safe into your chrysalis,—this reads that he will put Eddie into a different state of being that he can come back from. The coming back is my interpretation only at this point because I assume frank wouldn’t choose death for him or would for sure be hurt by Eddie’s death. Things would have to be very bad if true death is a better option for Eddie.

Also, it hearkens back to the horror butterfly image. Another also, caterpillar to butterfly, an insinuation of emedging into a new form. I don’t see allusions to Howdy in here, but I suppose it is possible that this could refer to more than one neighbor and Frank is taking them all out.

As you snuggle down into your dirt,—reference to being buried?

I want to assure you that I won’t be hurt.

This clarifies that it is a sleeping type state, not death. Ok, here is we’re Eddie’s Halloween costume comes in. Frankenstein, changed from the Scarecrow in earlier art (presumably from wizard of oz). Interesting thing about scarecrow vs. Frankenstein is that we see scarecrow taken apart during that film and Frankenstein is famously assembled from parts of different people. Interestinger is the fact that they are both afraid of fire. (I love that Young Frankenstein shows up more than the original in a search.)

Frankenstein (and scarecrow) are both put back together, but for Frankenstein it seems more of a new being, not just a reassembling. Frankenstein (aka frankenstein’s monster) is a thinking, speaking individual that was horrified at the situation he was in. Frankenstein in the book murders to punish his creator for the immorality of creating him and the resulting loneliness that the monster feels. As such, the choice is very interesting. If the puppets of welcome home come to be aware or sentient, I wonder how they would feel about Ronald Dorelaine or their situation?

If the movie version is the focus of Eddie’s costume choice, then he would be a potentially thinking and feeling being (he is afraid of fire), but without further evidence we don’t know his thoughts.

Scarecrow is a guy without a brain, with the power of speech, so a kind of opposite. I think they all end up just needing to be confident, which is why some shyster from the Midwest is able to help. This almost seems to be more in tune with Eddie's character--Eddie has a tendency to appear kind of ditsy, is constantly being dismissed by others. In the end, we find out he is actually smart but lacks confidence. I can see that being true for Eddie as well.

If I had to pick out a character for Frank, it would be the Tin Man. Poppy is the Cowardly Lion, Wally is Dorothy. Home is Home. There are more parallels here than I was expecting. Howdy is the Wizard, Julie can be Glenda, and the Wicked Witch...is kind of no one? Sally can be a flying monkey. She works my nerve. Also, the whole spying thing was done by the monkeys in the movie.

But now that I am thinking about it, this comparison makes a lot of sense, in terms of the complex relationships, as well as the levels of reality that you find in Wizard of Oz. A big event leads to a shift in the understanding of reality, and the lead finds themselves in a very colorful world that doesn't much resemble their own, but is very flashy, has songs, beloved characters, and a sense of danger. There are some things when thought about in the context of real life, or the black and white portion of Wizard of Oz, would be truly frightening.

Of course, Wizard of Oz shares a lot of parallels with Alice in Wonderland, which also seems somewhat related. In terms of source material, the Wizard of Oz is considered to be a parable that expresses the thoughts about US economic policy in the 1890's. This is a theory that you can read more about here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_interpretations_of_The_Wonderful_Wizard_of_Oz

It isn't super related, and not everyone believes that this is the case. However, it seems to be a very American type story, no matter what you believe, that touches on the experience of normal people while much larger forces lie and fuck around with everything.

As the holidays begin to approach,

I gently kiss, each and every roach,—kisses for Eddie. We have seen a realistic roach on the secret page with the mishmash of one script where Wally is deciding what to draw

I made sure to keep, my garden cozy,

So you can safely sleep, in fallen posies,—this whole stanza shows a desire to and promise of a quiet death and maybe even a maintained grave. I looked up posies to see where Eddie could potentially be buried. Posies refer to a nosegay, or small bouquet of flowers. It was a Victorian secret code thing, a way to declare love or even reject people based on flower and color. One that sticks with us in the form of red roses signifying love. On the map, there is a cluster of yellow flowers to the side of Frank’s house. Not sure this counts as his garden, since it is on the other side of the house. Julie has a group of flowers behind her house, but once again, not his garden. No fallen flowers that I can ID.

When googling posey, this is what comes up. I felt that there was a flower called a posey, and these do look like the big yellow flowers by Frank’s house. If any flowers fall in updates, I am going to assume someone is buried there.

There is also the ring around the roses rhyme, which could relate, but I don’t really see a correlation.

It’s time to get comfortable in your honeycomb,

take your winter intermission in your garden loam,—dirt, burying again

neatly nestled from the cold in roots and rhi-ya-zomes, — cozy dead

sleeping side by side under stately stones,—2 dead? Headstones is the link I make there--OK, now look at the pic! (I know, it's a reach.)

…And I’ll be inside of my home,—frank is staying to oversee something. It reads like calming the person who will die. This seems to bolster that arguments that I addressed in the post about bugs on the previous website, that Frank is working against, or at least parallel to Wally. With the bugs, the whispering to Eddie, and using his first name, I think it is reasonable to suggest that Frank is working against Wally and/or Home.

Another potential clue is the hidden video with the clothespins where 1 is upside down. I have theorized that it is a reference to Barnaby dying, but it could be Barnaby and Eddie. Only one clothespin is shown upside down though, so Barnaby or Eddie?

Regardless of how I feel you need to go away,

I’ll be the one to tell you, you just can’t stay,—he likes bugs but this is extreme of Frank, if he is talking about actual bugs

Thankfully I lack a sentimental sensibility,—true that, he generally seems calm.

I enjoy my Methodical Mundanity,—why is this capitalized? I looked and looked but I can’t find the origin of this phrase, though it came up a few times in random posts and articles. Clown does have a tendency to capitalize things that seem random. Me below is also capitalized. I listened as well, and I have to wonder why the singing is so bad? I don’t think the voice actors are bad at singing, seems like a deliberate choice to have reedy and unsteady vocals, pitch issues and pacing problems.

Where all that’s left is… Me.

So, this is a bit extreme for a song about hibernating bugs. I think that given our many references to bisecting or otherwise putting people into pieces (Eddie butterfly horror, frank in a pile of body parts, look I made a dog, and slinky Barnaby, now Frankenstein and Scarecrow) that we could be looking at death in a sense that works in one layer of reality. You disassemble a puppet, it is no longer a puppet. So what if Frank = Frankenstein and Eddie is Frankenstein’s monster? Frank can take him apart and put him back together in puppet reality?

If I had to guess, I am sticking with my working theory. Frank, as the smartest guy in the neighborhood, is the resistant force in the neighborhood. Wally/Home is/are the catalyst for the scary stuff. They are central to everything, physically and otherwise.

I have mentioned that in the last update, Sally and Poppy have the appearance of spies or managing Eddie. Given that Poppy doesn’t attend to party, I am anticipating that Eddie was isolated and watched by Sally during this planning period, where Wally and Barnaby walk the neighborhood to find out what Homewarming is. Given that it is said that Wally and Home instigated Homewarming, it is strange that everyone knows what it is except for Wally. It reads more as an attempt to achieve a goal, despite everyone knowing about the holiday. Even Julie is at the party, and she is supposed to be hibernating. Well, they don't say exactly when Julie hibernates (maybe there was something about her doing it after the holiday?) Anyway, Poppy isn't at Homewarming. She could be at home, but the book stating that they are all here seems like an attempt to cover up her absence. What is she doing? Snooping in the Post Office while Sally watches Eddie? Does Eddie want to go home for not feeling well or he has an idea of what is happening while he is gone?

Maybe Frank sees his boyfriend and comrade at arms about to get hit with something bad, so to preserve him and the opposition, he is going to disassemble him (cue Johnny 5) for protection.

In the past, Sonny (the Brazilian bird) was cast as the opposition to Wally, and included in a relationship with Frank. This work in particular comes to mind:

Clown has stated that they removed Sonny from the project due to the story changing from one with a hero, to one without, as that wasn't the story that they wanted to tell. What if, though, instead of Sonny being written out for the hero reason, there was another reason? What if we are seeing Frank taking on being the neighborhood's savior? He is just snarky enough to make it seem less like a hero situation and more because it was impacting his garden.

#welcome home #welcome home theories #welcome home arg #eddie dear #frank frankley

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ratcandy · 2 years ago

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A Very Rough Analysis of Bug Beauty Standards in Hallownest

thank you @arty-cakes u've enabled me to have thought processes and now we're in a hell of our own making

Bear with me. Ok. This started because of discussion over Zote's horns. I'm gonna be combining both in-game dialogue and some irl bug things to come up with some vague understanding for how, potentially, bug beauty may be perceived in Hallownest. Because there is quite a FEW possibilities here, and I wanna dissect what I can.

And of course in my humble opinion there are no real, true Standards. Bugs are only full of love and there is no real concept of "ugliness." Because I said so. ...And, I mean, this would actually have some ground, because Hallownest is a conglomerate of a LOT of different bug species!! Truly, for there to be any one consensus wouldn't make a lot of sense, because everyone's going to have different standards Per Species.

(I implore everyone here to look up stalk-eyed flies (<LINK GOES TO PICTURE OF A BUG). To some bugs out there, that is, in fact, the pinnacle of sexy. So the idea of true beauty could REALLY, REALLY VARY.)

But hey. I'm having fun. So take my hand. Let's analyze nothing for no reason. this is a very long post. THERE IS ALSO ONE (1) PICTURE OF IRL BUG IN HERE; ITSE BEETLES. Be aware!

So, first of all.

These are sexy. This is considered sexy by bug standards. Or at the very least by Bretta and Godseeker's standards respectively. The words used to describe GPZ are "gorgeous" and "beautiful" while, as everyone knows, Flukemarm is "alluring."

So what this tells me right off the bat is that bugs seem to value Big and Round. The larger the body mass, the more attractive that bug is. Godseeker even refers to her real-world form, which looks like this,

with this dialogue:

"...And this? Our form swells? Large? Nay. Immense. Majestic. Hibernation, so long forced upon Us, yet the shell that results is strong... So strong! Thine gaze is adoring. Ye must think Us Godly. Amusing, foolish. But thou art faced with enormity and beauty, true..."

"Linger and gaze. Linger and gaze on Our magnificent shell. Our overpowering beauty!"

So like. I've at least a little reason to believe that Big and Large = Conventionally Attractive in some manner when it comes to these bugs.

To be fair, the Godseeker isn't from Hallownest. So her opinions on this matter might not align with everyone else's. But Bretta, who we have no reason to believe isn't a Hallownest native, does envision a sexyman Zote to be just as Big and Large.

Oh, and, of course:

This big guy is literally Called a "gorgeous husk." We could assume it's the golden shine that allows this one to be Gorgeous, OR we could assume it's the roundness. I, for one, think it's the Roundness.

HOWEVER, there is some possible contradictions to his idea. For one, the Gluttonous husk,

Is referred to as having a "grotesque shape" by the Hunter. Now, the grotesque-ness may be due to overconsumption (as is mentioned in the same entry), thus causing a bloated, unnatural shape that we can't totally see due to the artstyle/lack of reference. But it is worth Mentioning.

Also, of course, Salubra seems to think Ghost is quite a Fine Specimen, despite Ghost being far from Large or as Round:

"You're even more the attractive bug, clad in all those wonderful, sparkling things. I may have nothing more to give, but you must come back and visit from time to time. Such a dashing figure frequenting my store. I bet the whole village is jealous. Mmm hmm!"

"...Dear dear, I really must hold it together, must appear calm, but this creature... is just divine..."

"It's rare enough that someone enters my store, but even rarer to meet one so striking! Those impressive horns! That fierce weapon. The air of mystery! Ooooh. It's enough to make me swoon."

It's VERY possible a lot of Salubra's thoughts on this matter are due to charms, though shdgKJSDHG. A lot of her thoughts are specifically connected to the charms, thinking Ghost looks dashing with those charms on, etc.

But interestingly, she does mention Ghost's horns as "impressive," which brings up a whole other slew of questions on what "average" would be for horns. And since this whole thing initially started as a discussion on Zote's horns, well. Now I'm just wondering!!

Because in Bretta's sexyman version of Zote, she doesn't give him symmetrical horns. Sure, in a meta way, you could argue that's just a way to make sure GPZ is recognizable as a version of Zote. BUT!!!! When I was talkin earlier, I was speculating an idea where symmetry could be conventionally attractive in some way, and asymmetry could be generally unappealing. So it's interesting that a potentially unattractive quality would be kept on the Sexyman version. I suppose if Zote told Bretta he lost his horn in some grand battle, or whatever, of COURSE she wouldn't get rid of his epic battle scar. But at the same time, if he DIDN'T say that, then she just chose to keep it..... perhaps assuming it was a scar herself, or perhaps Bretta just doesn't take symmetry into account as a Beauty Thing. I dunno! Many possibilities there.

And if Ghost's little baby horns are impressive, then... Good lird, what do we make of the Hollow Knight then, right? Or hell, even Hornet!

I'm not sure if we wanna use that as a True scale for Horn standard. Especially especially seeing as Ghost isn't even physically mature, as far as we're aware (the Hollow Knight is specifically mentioned as "fully grown Vessel" in the Hunter's Journal, so). After all, it is ALSO very possible that Salubra was just Saying things as a means to convince you to buy stuff.

So for now let's abandon Salubra's thoughts. Let's go elsewhere.

In IRL bug talk, horns are generally a means for mate selection and/or competition with rivals. Usually these two things go hand-in-hand (competition is For Mates, I mean. or other resources).

after all, how are you gonna toss a guy off a tree if you don't got horn.

So it's not out of the question to think that horns on the Hallownest bugs would have some sort of Meaning. Especially since we see a LOT of bugs with varying horn sizes/shapes. And if we want to say every face we see is actually a mask, then that's even more telling! Because then horns are specifically being added to masks for one reason or another.

So that makes me Really wonder.

like this is obnoxious. what do you need all that horn for. Those don't even look practical for battling with. Granted, the shape of the Pale King's "crown" looks VERY similar to the mouth of the Wyrm corpse, so it's possible he just Kept that shape as his crown rather than intend for it to be horns.

But STILL. How do you think the bugs of Hallownest felt about this thing? Like that's so many horns. If he's meant to look like a "common bug," how to those Common Bugs feel about all those horns. Like sir that's excessive. We don't have all those. The most any one common bug has is three, iirc. So like. Huh.

Or would More Horn = more attractive? I'm uncertain. PK might not be all that conventionally attractive anyway. Given the lack of Large and Round going on. He is, in fact, small and pointy. So who's to say.

Anyway. Drop the horn talk for now. I want to go back to Bretta.

Bretta forms crushes on Ghost and Zote. But I don't think she's attracted their actual honest-to-Wyrm appearances. She creates idealized versions of her crushes and seems to only tangentially connect them to the real person, given... well. GPZ looks like that, and Zote does NOT look like that.

In her thoughts, she considers Zote "beautiful." In the first diary entry, she calls Ghost "beautiful." But she also writes Ghost as "standing tall," while Ghost is anything but tall, and. Yes. Again. GPZ. And in her last set of thoughts about Zote, she seems to only then see him as "smaller, tattered and stained." At some point, she seems to stop seeing a real Figure, and only sees an idolized, fake version of that Figure.

So I don't think she sees either Ghost or Zote as physically attractive on their own. More the idea of what they "could" be.

Does that all make sense? God I sure hope so. I have another Bretta thing to mention, though.

In one of the Zoteling Hunter's Journal entries, aka a snippet from Bretta's zote fanfiction, we've got this:

""That lowly map-maker's wife? Hah! My Queen, how could you compare yourself to her? In the face of your intoxicating beauty, all other females are merely dust!" The Grey Prince trembled with anger and indignation... and love."

So. That tells us Bretta sees Iselda as conventionally attractive in some way. Or, at the very least, feels a need to compare herself to Iselda to the point of writing about it in her fanfiction. So let's look at Iselda.

The only thing we can say for certain about Iselda that follows with anything we've spat out so far is that Iselda, while not Large in a GPZ way, is very TALL. To the point where Elderbug has a whole thing of dialogue talking about how tall Iselda is:

"She's a tall bug, the wife. I told them to take a larger house, especially given they're all empty, but they liked the look of that one. The way she has to bend just to get through the door...I wouldn't put up with it myself."

So we do have the Large-in-a-Way thing going. And for all we know, since she used to be a warrior, she could also have SICK muscles. She could pick me up and throw me, I think. And round... I mean. Her, um. Well her abdomen, I suppose, is . Rather round. But she's otherwise not Round in the sense that Flukemarm is round, or the Gorgeous Husk is Round.

So who knows!!! Perhaps it's just the Largeness/Height that contributes to attractiveness as opposed to fat. But I choose to believe fat is a positive factor anyway. Because I can, so there.

IT'S TIME TO TALK ABOUT SMELLS.

ok, technically, I could end that there. Because I can't find TOO Much more dialogue talking about the Beauty of Bugkind. I've checked around, but... MMm. Not too much, really!

BUT. While not, perhaps, part of a bug's seen appearance... There does seem to also be a little variation on Smell opinions. Which could definitely add to conventional attractiveness, especially since irl bugs are CHOCK FULL of sexy smelly pheromones. looking at you bombykol ....

And by that I mean. Responses to the Defender's Crest.

Leg Eater thinks it's a "tasty" smell and will give you a discount for it. Tuk recognizes the smell as that of a "friend," and well also give you a discount for it (in that case, it's more likely she just recognizes it as Ogrim's smell as opposed to anything Attractive about it, lmao, but STILL). Of course, Ogrim thinks it's a "just" smell.

Elderbug and Lemm are the only ones I can think of that have blatantly negative responses (Elderbug says something about the air smelling horrid while Lemm. Um: "Urgh! What do you think you're doing, coming into my nice little shop stinking like that?! These relics have been through enough. They don't need you spreading your stench all over them! Crawl back to the Waterways or wherever you came from!").

The White Lady obviously also associates it with Ogrim, saying it brings "joyous memories."

SO you're probably thinking. Hey Clam, this is a strange side-tangent to go on. There's not too much about the Defender's Crest smell that really works with your theory. Two characters dislike it, and two others only like it because they associate it with Ogrim. So, what gives?

divine's dialogue:

"Ahhhh, that smell! So strong, so virile..."

do you know. What virile means?

i'm sorry . I do not think Team Cherry meant it this way. But GOD HELP ME if it isn't REALLY FUNNy,

OKAY. Okay. I think... I think I'm done for now. There isn't a hell of a lot more I can find within game to go off of. and when it comes to irl bugs, well. Again, it varies pretty heavily by species!! So much is possible here. Refer to stalk eyed flies again. Sometimes, to a bug, having super long eye stalks is what's hot. Other times, all it's about is if you can throw a guy off a tree.

Or you're a giant water bug and being a good dad is sexy. I'm not joking. It's called sexy dad hypothesis. And well. I'm not here to shame the dads of Hallownest, but...

So. Yes!!!! OKay. I said words. I wrote this all in one very quick sitting and now I'm wandering away. I have things to do that I am presently not doing because I'm analyzing bug beauty standards.

#clamtalk #hollow knight #analysis #I don't know what all to tag this with.#it is what it is!#VERY long ramble #<-haven't used that tag in ages #ask to tag #<- in case something should go here that I'm forgetting.#ok. wanders away into the aether

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amybeerhouse · 3 months ago

Text

Message From Bob

Oct 29, 2008 11:00pm

“hi! its bob

it's been a long time since since we have talked. i just wanted to say hi and fill people in on what has been happening with us. as a whole we are all getting ready to get rolling again. we really needed this break but enough is enough already. i cant wait to see the refreshed and excited MCR again. no more falling asleep at 5pm, no more drinking 20 red bulls, just good times coming up.

i will start with myself. my weird zoro scar on my wrist is going down finally. i have been doing physical therapy every few days now which is helping out a ton. i have to sit and lift tiny weights over and over again until i cant anymore, then i play with putty, then i stack cups, sometimes i squeeze plastic, play with rice, etc. It kinda feels like when i was in kindergarten day care except it hurts. my favorite part is hearing the stories of the other patients. one lady fell down her stairs because she tripped on her cat and broke her shoulder. i try not to laugh but i cant help it. i was actually sitting with a player from the bears last week too. that guy was about 20 feet tall and as big as a house. i didn't look him in the eye. i think i have a couple months before i am back to playing again. i am always going to have pain in my hand so i will be changing my playing a bit. i have to rearrange my drums and i will need to play waaay lighter. dont call me a p@$^y when you see me.

Other then that i am just hanging out. i got another dog! i now have two black german shepherds. they rule. they are my buddies. i am going to bring them everywhere with me. toro got a new puppy too. frank has 19 dogs now. i shot up up my garage with a pistol and the cops came. that was fun..... i also have been playing halo again. halo and legos is actually part of therapy for me. i just hit level 35 which is awesome for me. i would love to challenge anybody to a duel. my xbox name is dixiediarrhea (long story, my dogs name is dixie, she had diarrhea). if anyone knows souljaboy personally please let him know i challenge him. that guy seems like an awesome dude and i want to play against him. he says he can beat anyone. dixiediarrhea says differently. i will bet 2 dollars that i whoop him.

anyway, i see that im rambling. im tired. i was going to fill you in on everyone else but i dont want to anymore. hahaha. which actually brings me to a point. we are soon going to launch a new website. its going to be very simple and to the point. one of the new features will be us typing in on our phones straight to the site so everyone can tell you themselves what they are up to. now that we are coming out of MCR hibernation we want to keep everyone informed and to maybe have some fun. blogathon 5000. i will type in all the juicy details like perez hilton.

ok. im going to bed. me and my friend, the sanch, and dixie are about to drive from chicago to los angeles to hang with gerard and friends. come hang out.

see everyone soon or on halo”

#bob bryar #my chemical romance #gerard way #mcr #mikey way #frank iero #ray toro #19 dogs???

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