#okay idk what am i saying anymore but if anyone is reading this (no they're not!) have a very nice day! 😊

[sarcasmchandlerbing]

Some Leafs players collages

[straycalamities]

alright i been meaning to do this so:

what is and is not allowed to be done with any of my characters! this includes art, fics, edits, headcanons, whathaveyou

[general content/trigger warning for uncomfortable, possibly-triggering topics because this is mainly the gist of what i dont want to see]

x = never ? = ask for permission

do nots: x - no noncon (if you engage to work through your feelings, never make my characters the perpetrators, it skeeves me out) ? - no genderbends/sexswaps/whatever they're called anymore? idk just don't mess with their gender, pronouns*, or assigned-sex-at-birth as a general thing unless i already have or okayed you directly. triple-especially if they're not cis x - respect their romantic orientations/sexualities! if you don't know a character's then you can ask me, but yeah. ie: don't ship andrew with women, he's homosexual x - [NSFW] absolutely no ageplay kinks or anything like that with my characters. no raceplay. just..nothing like that. x - no pregnancy. no mpreg. no omegaverse. none of it. (i've come a long way from it being straight-up a trigger but still, yea,) i have had some of my characters naturally be pregnant/have babies but i'd rather handle it myself, if you know what i mean x - this is a duh, but nothing hateful/bigoted using my characters. like, for instance, i do joke abt shit and say mainverse!entre is a conservative but don't unironically use him for anything awful like that. joking/memeing around about his terrible political stances is fine though x - i would never write or have my characters telling anyone to "kill yourself" so please don't have them say stuff like that. even if it's a joke. it makes me uncomfortable. (there may be a few exceptions in my giant roster of ocs but as a general rule just avoid it) x - never use my ocs likenesses or art of them as art for your own ocs. that's never okay. my ocs designs are for my own characters only.

*it's okay to have neopronoun headcanons

okay! generally anything i havent said isn't okay IS okay, but just so anyone reading this has a clearer idea

it's okay to use my characters for expressing yourself, venting, or just personal stuff like that. if my characters help you through something, go ahead and express it. i'm happy they help :)

playing around with gender presentation (not gender) is perfectly okay with any of my characters

shipping in general is fine as long as it doesnt go against the don'ts list. i dont care who you ship them with

[NSFW] i'm okay with pretty much any other kinks other than anything that goes into noncon, bigotry, or underage so go wild even if it's not my thing personally i don't care. (ie: the swagtre piss fic? lol im not a watersports guy but chase your bliss)

my characters are all free game for anything horror themed as well. horror as a genre, body horror, psychological horror, whatever. go for it. i have a personal major squick for eye gore but i can handle (and enjoy) pretty much anything else in this realm. go as gorey or not as you like (just tag appropriately for other ppls sakes)

handling self-harm/suicide idealization themes is technically? okay? for my characters? just uh...be respectful i guess. and definitely tag appropriately. this theme is canon for a few of them so i am okay with it just handle it with care is what i'm saying

go ham-buck-wild with mental illness headcanons or projections or anything like that. i dont think i have an oc that doesn't have at least something, so if you see yourself in their symptoms, go for it. only some of them i have personal labels for some of their stuff but otherwise it's whatever. just be respectful, again.

kinning is also okay! kin, synpath anything like that. go ahead! go wild with it. i think it's neat. just be respectful.

and an important note to all of this, other than being respectful to others and the characters themselves, is to respect me. just because it's okay that you do it with my character, doesn't mean i have to agree with it or make it canon or anything like that. it just means i gave you permission to engage like that. so please don't come to me trying to ask or force me to change something about my own characters or get so lost in your headcanons you start to disrespect what i've established myself

and if you ever have any questions about them or any of this, just let me know. i'm always happy to help

also yet again DONT REPOST MY NSFW ART ARGHHHH!!!

[roycappsus]

Important??

Okay to be real with you guys

Idk but Tumblr is kinda like my safe space because all I've seen on here is really nice people

So idk of I should post this here

But here goes..

I think I might be autistic, and idk how to tell my parents that I might think I am. They're pretty strict and the last time they thought I had depression they said 'you can't have depression, you should be happy, people have it worse than you.'

But I really need help, I can't do the things I need to, like stim or (sometimes I chew on things and my family makes fun of me saying I need a chew toy like a dog) I sometimes growl when I'm angry idk if that's just a weird thing I did, but I don't do it as much anymore. I get made fun of at school for 'being weird and rude' for speaking what I thought was what supposed to be said and rocking as a stim

I've been looking at some autistic images or autistic research kind of things, and idk how to tell anyone without them not believeing me. Like the time I told them I thought I had ADHD, but they said it was too late for me because I "told them too late" because now I'm (an age higher than 15-17) so they did nothing about it and I couldn't see anyone because I wasn't allowed out of school or home. It's really hard to focus and idk what to do.

I know most of you won't read this but I hope some one who is kind enough to say 'good job you reached out' at least.

[queerbrujas]

okay i'm in a mood so we're gonna talk about my thoughts on the N route in twc book 3. they're not good so look away if you don't wanna read that etc etc

so i'd known for a while that i was going to have to bring in an oc that wasn't eva for this route because in the meantime i'd developed her enough and thought about her enough that she just didn't fit the route anymore anywhere other than in my head. i still tried it with her and i didn't like it one bit, but i thought hey, my own problem.

so i made a new detective.

let me tell you about tatiana.

tatiana is the definition of a uhaul lesbian. she's head over heels in love with nat, absolutely crazy for her, totally willing to gloss over any sort of conflict. exactly the kind of narrative the story wants you to go for (and we'll come back to this).

things that happened in tatiana's playthrough:

she confessed her love to nat only to get absolutely NO response, an attempt to initiate sex, and no commentary whatsoever in the narration on how nat didn't say anything back. like, i'm very sorry to mishka who seems to think that initiating sex is a satisfactory answer to that kind of thing and the Ultimate expression of love but i think a normal and expected reaction to this would be 'wait they didn't say it back'. i am NOT trying to say that N needed to say it back at that moment, before anyone comes for me, there are a million reasons why they wouldn't (i even had a theory that they'd freak out if they heard it!!!) but the fact that the narration absolutely does not acknowledge that fact is so excuse me what the fuck. i've been so pissed at this that i've been working on a fic purely out of hatred for that choice.

let's talk about the sex scenes. they're bad. i'm sorry, they're bad. not only in execution (who cares) but you are not going to tell me that what is essentially a quickie is Enough for a character who has been built up as an over-the-top romantic when it's supposed to be their first time having sex with their partner. i won't buy it. it's like mishka spent these past three years marinading in the asks about agent suavewell and how smooth and sexy and horny they are and when it was time to write the book that was all she wanted to write.

it all just feels so shallow. where is the romance, for fuck's sake. it all feels unearned. beat after beat after beat with nothing to make me care about it.

and, once again—this is playing the ideal version of this route. the 'head over heels' version of this route. i don't even want to touch the other variants that continue to exist despite it being increasingly clear they are Not how the story is meant to go. i'm absolutely someone who supports authors doing whatever the fuck they want with their stories, the fact that there's a playable MC doesn't mean the player gets to dictate every single aspect of their arc or personality, but don't offer the option of things if you're not gonna commit to it. don't tell me i can be hesitant about a relationship when the narrative is gonna fall apart if i decide to do that etc etc.

IDK MAN. i'm very very happy for anyone who enjoyed this route, love that for you, but also, what the fuck.

[unhingedlesbear]

Okay fuck it yeah I'm making the post idc abt backlash. First of all the hidden agenda fandom doesn't exist anymore so whos even gonna have an issue. But if you do feel called out um. Maybe thats ur problem idk bc I'm not aiming at anyone in particular here.

Anyway long ass ramble abt the tiny dead Hidden Agenda fandom below the cut

This is mainly something I noticed looking through the very limited amount of Hidden Agenda fics on ao3, but it's VERY obvious on there. The vast majority of fics on there are centered on Adam and Finn, which I can understand more since they have an interesting backstory and are well written characters, sure. But then you look at the others and the other characters that are centered are... Riggs and Calvary?

In the actual game ofc Becky and Felicity are the main characters. Both of them not only are pretty objectively interesting characters on their own, and even more so together. On top of this they have the most shipping potential of any two characters in that game, it's literally basically canon, it's not even subtext atp it's literally just text. NO other two characters have that amount of chemistry in the game, and yet there is a noticeable lack of gravey fics in that tag. And I'll stress again bc I know how defensive people got last time I made this kind of observation, I'm not pointing fingers or calling anyone misogynistic/racist/homophobic BUT. but. When the two mcs are women, one of which is poc, and they're implied to be lesbians, and they get sidelined by the fandom despite being the focuses of the game... it's kinda hard not to assume there's some kind of bias there.

And on another point, it's similar when it comes to supporting characters too. In a way I'm disappointed but absolutely not surprised that Adam/Finn is prioritized in fan works over Becky/Felicity, but when characters like Riggs and Calvary are also given more attention than them it becomes way more suspicious to me. Riggs is a fine character, I like him enough and I can see why others might like him more, but wbk he doesn't really have all that much relevance. Calvary is even more confusing bc he basically JUST exists to be a creepy misogynistic asshole and as unlikeable as possible. Thankfully I haven't seen him getting a lot of attention but the fact that I've seen him getting any that isn't entirely negative is... hm...

Now there ARE in fact male characters that can be both relevant and likeable: Tom and Karl. (I talk shit abt Karl bc it's a joke I started with friends, I'm gonna drop that for this post obv bc we're being fr here) these two are pretty obviously more relevant than Riggs or Calvary, they're literally Becky's partners (Tom can even replace Riggs' entire role lmao, and if he's replaced himself it's by Karl) and I'd say they're also both likeable characters on their own too. And yet I'm pretty sure I found maybe one??? fic with them in it? Probably should have mentioned this earlier but yeah, they're both poc.

So like... I feel like it all comes down to what Becky/Felicity/Tom/Karl have in common and then what Adam/Finn/Riggs/Calvary have in common. It strikes me as questionable. But like maybe I'm just an annoying snowflake though idk🤷‍♀️ /s

This turned into more of a ramble than anything and I'm aware i'm also yelling into a void bc I'm posting entirely for a dead fandom that barely existed to begin with, but tbh this stuff applies to most if not all larger fandoms as well, i'm just looking at it from what I've seen in the remnants of the HA fandom. Again I am not attacking anyone here, I am making observations. If you're like mad or something I'm just gonna assume you didn't even read the whole post. Yes ur allowed to like characters, but I am also allowed to address what I've noticed about what characters seem to be more liked than others.

[ezra-editss]

"Dean doesn't reciprocate" MY ASS

I'm just kinda gonna write down my thoughts about this. I'm in season 7 now, I know what happens in the very last episode, but nothing else so I don't read any posts about the show here yet :) (just so yk and don't accidentally spoiler me) Oh and I do this mostly out of memory and some notes that I took, so this might be a little chaotic :,)

Okay, so the whole season 6 fight was crazy to me. The way Cas was watching while Dean kept on defending him. And he knew how much Dean trusted him. ("The worst part was Dean. He was trying so hard to be loyal, with every instinct telling him otherwise.") It hurt him, but the whole time he was, again, protecting Dean. And yes, he hurt Dean, but I think it was as worse for Cas to hurt Dean, as for Dean to be hurt.

Then, Dean apologizing for the others? They (thought they) were wrong and Dean had kept on trusting Cas, so why was it him who apologized? Because he knew it meant more to Cas when he did it? Idk.

Cas wasn't able to lie when he looked in Dean's eyes.. come on? Also, the fact Dean wasn't actually mad when he found out was really interesting. He was just extremely sad. Yes, his trust got broken and maybe he was just tired of it all, but it didn't seem like that to me, I felt like he usually got madder.

I love how they always share those sad looks when they go apart after the fights btw, such a best buddys thing to do.

It was really hard for both of them. We can see that Dean can't sleep that night and that Cas comes back to talk to him alone, because it only matters to him that Dean understands.

Oh and the "I'm doing this for you, Dean." I don't even need to explain his motives, because he reveals them himself.

Then the scene from my edit. (at the top) (it's kinda laggy, bc it's slow-motion, but anyways) They both have teary eyes a lot, but this is different. Dean turns aways because he knows he's gonna cry and Cas disappears before he really starts crying, but they are both fuckin crying about this. They're both just sad and want this to end. Even when Dean said he's gonna stop him and so on, it was way less threatening then usually. And Cas kept coming back when Dean was in danger.

But Dean still cared as well. In the first episode of season 7, when Cas asks for help, he pretends he doesn't care about him anymore for a bit, but you can clearly see that he still does. You at least can see it when he thinks Cas is dead. He's devastated.

It's kinda funny how Bobby's there but Cas very obviously only cares to make up to Dean. Like he always says "they're my friends" but in reality he means Dean.

AND THEN.. Cas tries to protect everyone else again and sends them away but DEAN STAYS. I think he knew that there wouldn't be anything he could do, but it didn't matter.

Cas dies again. (give my man a break, please) Dean keeps the god damn coat? I think he might've done it, because he was hoping that Cas would come back again. Anyways, scene was devastating.

In the judge/court episode about Dean's guilt, I immediately hoped Dean didn't feel guilty about Cas too, but was pretty sure he did. My worries were confirmed in episode 5.

So yeah, I suppose that's the part where I am, I guess I have to wait 'till Cas comes back now :,)

I don't think anyone read all this, but I hope I didn't make any grammar mistakes, bc English isn't my first language, so I sometimes get stuff mixed up (I definitely made the tenses confusing). Anyways, rant end.

[tj-dragonblade]

Shipper Tag Game

Tagged by the delightful @seiya-starsniper @zzoomacroom and @carnelianmeluha, thank you!

What ship were you completely obsessed with as a teenager, but now you don’t care about anymore? I...hm. Am I willing to publicly admit to the self-insert daydreaming I did as a teen, long before my days in internet fandom? Okay I guess I kind of just did but I refuse to elaborate. I have long since moved on and I ship him with an in-universe partner at this point.

Which ship would you consider your first one? You ask a lot of my poor aging memory. I'm gonna say...before internet-accessible fandom? I was very keen on Rogue and Gambit in high school, when the 90s XMen animated series was one of my primary interests. After acquiring internet access and discovering communal fandom? 2x5, Gundam Wing. Duo and Wufei.

Your first fanfic was about which couple? Duo and Wufei

Do you remember the first couple you saw fan art of? It was probably Heero x Duo since that was the big popular ship in GW

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse? I don't think so. I am not exempt from having spoken ill of ships over the years but it's been about my opinion, not some kind of value/morality judgement and I have never gotten into fights with anyone

Did you used to have a NOTP or have one currently? There is one ship that I will class as a NOTP and it only became that after it went unexpectedly canon. I'm still willing to incorporate their canon kid into things and I have no interest in demonizing her, but I absolutely Do Not Want to see/read/hear about them having a genuine romantic attachment because the canonization pissed me off so bad. It's SaiIno from Naruto, for the curious.

Who were the last couple in the last fanfic you read? Dreamling

Currently, do you have any OTPs? Depends on your definition of OTP I suppose. To me it means 'favorite couple' more than 'can't stomach seeing them with anyone else'. Currently that's Dreamling. Currently I'm not really interested in reading about either of them with anyone else but historically as I spend longer in a fandom my tastes grow more willing to branch out, so who knows what the future holds. And I still have OTPs from each fandom I've been in (some of which predate the common use of the term 'OTP') even if they're no longer my reading/writing focus.

Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting into? Not...really? Not mad about? This is such a weird question, if I was truly taken with a ship I would have explored it? Are we asking if I'm mad about getting into a ship after the fandom has passed its peak of popularity maybe? IDK? I mean, there are occasionally characters from properties that are in formats that I don't tend to invest my time in (Podcasts, video games, long-ass long-running animes that I did not get in on the ground floor with) that catch my interest, and then I have next to no canon framework for exploring my interest, but it's not a thing I'd ever get mad about. If I really want to know more about Gale and his potential matches I'll find somewhere to read BG3 lore, y'know?

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they’re kind of interesting? Mmmmmno. But I do have more than one that's gone the other way.

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would have been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over? Mmmyep. I remain unapologetic about it; that is my ship, tirelessly built with my own two hands and almost nothing predating me to influence interpretation, lovingly crafted exactly as I see it and convincingly enough to interest a handful of other folks. Thankfully none of the people leaving occasional kudos on those fics these days are raising a stink about the 'problematic' elements.

What is your favourite crack ship? Lord of the Lost's Judas album gave me serious serious Jesus/Judas vibes, but that's not really crack so much as quote-unquote blasphemy. I am going to steal Seiya's answer of Tony the Tiger x The Grinch, because I am hard-pressed to think of anything else that would qualify.

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about? Currently? Dreamling. I tend to hyper-focus on one fandom at a time and when I'm lucky enough to ship the popular pairing, there is Far Too Much to spend my limited free time on and little reason to invest any of it elsewhere.

What do most of your ships have in common? I think the broadest way to sum up the widest swathe of similarities is that I generally enjoy a dynamic of Reserved x Exuberant, or to pull back a little further still, of Complementary Opposites.

What do you absolutely hate in a ship? Hate very rarely enters into it. Lack of chemistry, I guess? But that is a very subjective criterion. For every 'But why would you ship them?' I can ask, someone will have an answer.

Tagging, no obligation, tag me in your existing post if you've just done it: @danikatze, @zalia, @esperata, @staroftheendless, @rooftopwreck, @aquilathefighter, @chaosheadspace, @ginoeh, @macavitykitsune

[mintmoth]

Okay so I just finished chap 4 and as the resident scarabia appreciator I figured you would be the best person to word vomit my ideas to (You don't have to answer this if you don't want to)

But like the drama the betrayal, god it was so good

Like I can understand both sides of the story. I get why Jamil snapped as hard as he did, but god when Kalim started begging to Jamil to tell him that what Octotrio exposed wasn't true BROKE ME. It dosent help I kinda relate to Kalim in the sense I tend to worry if Im being "too much" for people so seeing Jamil call him obnoxious and crap, albeit not in the right headspace, really struck a chord with me. God I want them to be happy/friendly with each other again tho TWST please let them-

But honestly after that my brain has been fixated on a potential Kalim overblot. I don't know how it would happen (probably some trauma he keeps under his cheery facade like another guy we know *stares at Cater*), though I have an idea that during his overblot he pushes everyone away. Hes not angry at anyone or anything but hes scared and he dosent want to put anymore of what should be HIS responsibilities on anyone, ESPECIALLY if Jamil is present.

Like the potential angst has not left my brain help me-

OKAY BUT I ABSOLUTELY DO WANT TO ANSWER THIS (also because I am sick and cannot do much aside from be on my phone when I am actually awake l m a o)

So firstly yes holy crap I believe book 4 hits so hard because it is so deeply sad from both sides of things. It's very easy for people to look at both Jamil and Kalim and understand them and their actions, feeling pushed so hard and made to be responsible and care for others, as well as loving people deeply and the play into the insecurities of ultimately being resented by those you love most

All of the books have people pushed past their breaking points and trauma spilling to the surface but god book 4 is this horrible open wound of desperation and heartbreak

I also deeply want them to be able to move forward being healthier about their relationship and actually building a friendship because like, they do have fun together off and on after book 4, Jamil's anger is mostly misdirected from the position he's been forced into, and they're both able to actively talk better about things between the two of them- idk I know we'll never get to fully see how they grow and change but I really do stand by me saying that I believe both of them have the ability to bring about change within their families when they are finally able to hold their own positions

But on to the second part here, absolutely Kalim has so much traumatic shit he's dealing with. Like since he was a child he's had adults trying to full on actually murder him. Like he makes little jokes in passing about being kidnapped or poisoned and such, and how it's made him hard to take by surprise so it's played off as a joke, but SERIOUSLY?? That is so much emotional damage to just have to play off for laughs, but sometimes all you can do is laugh in order to not fully process it

Kalim has shown to be a people pleaser and to meet everyone as if they're a friend, and it's a wonderful trait on his part but due to his past it's also probably a defence mechanism in a way. I'm reading a little deep here but honestly, imagine you've been kidnapped more times then you can count, had more attempts on your life then you can recall, had to witness your childhood friend fall into a coma because they were poisoned in an attempt to murder you specifically- like Kalim is a walking target that nearly everyone he meets could be attempting to take a swing at. But he doesn't shy away or meet people with an overt caution, no. He meets everyone with this overwhelming friendliness. He makes himself not a threat to others, and he makes potential threats his friends. How better to be kept safe then to be surrounded by people who care about you? To remove the idea of threats by being someone people can see the good within, someone to eat, drink, and be merry with? What good would come from harming someone who treats you so well

And I'm not saying this would be an intentional act on his part, no. I'm not sure he's even aware of how people pleasing he is outside of the thought, "other people have more problems then me, so why would I bother them with mine". He's just grown up unable to trust nearly anyone and as such is navigating through life doing what he does best, having fun and living in the moment, making friends and surrounding himself with people he doesn't need to be afraid of

But that's also why Jamil's betrayal hits so much harder, as he's the one person in Kalim's life that Kalim has never had to fear or doubt for even a moment. Jamil has always been a safe haven, an olive branch amongst the knives. And Kalim finds out Jamil has been sitting within a growing well of resentment and anger this entire time

And it is absolutley heartbreaking

And yes, it's played for laughs with Kalim not understanding after that Jamil is still upset, or that they cannot just magically be on even footing, but a lot of aspects of Kalim are consistently played for laughs. It's hard for people to take you seriously when you cannot even take yourself seriously

So absolutely if he were to overblot it would be less of him lashing out at people around him and more of him lashing out at himself. All of those feelings he laughs off and pushes away in favor of smiling and joking with others, them all bubbling to the surface in a way he could not even begin to contain

Having Kalim overblot would be genuinely absolutley harrowing to witness

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary135

1/27-28/2024

saturday - sunday

the move will go crazyyy tomorrow.

today was already sort of crazy i guess. before i get to that just some sundry things, the problem song is really close to working i think, i just need to change the bass, that's rreally it and i think i have an idea for what to do, so i'm gonna do that. while ableton loads, what else, oh yeah, i really need to make 1 minute and like 15 seconds of music for the trailer still, for that movie. deadline coming, hopefully tomorrow we'll be moved in basically, and maybe i can just do it then and there. it'll be weird sleeping in a new place. honestly kind of scared.

the new place is bigger, but it's also made worse than the place we're staying. i think whoever got this building now believes people here pay too little and is kicking everyone out to do renovations and to then raise rent or something. this building is so solidly made, you can't really hear anyone through the walls, but there is no one to really hear anymore i guess. the sink in the kitchen is so nice, the space is kind of perfect to me idk, the new place has stuff that just seems like it could fall apart on us, like the a.c. unit is this window thingy i think. it's probably okay. it's really not as big an issue to me as like, the sink, the bathroom is tiny and has no medicine cabinet, but whatever i have a place to live. i'll also have to navigate to my job from there, if they really do call me back/add me to the roster or whatever, and stuff. i filled everything out for onboarding, probably next week i'd guess.

my gf's mom showed up today, and helped us move, her brother came too and he's so injured generally that he did nothing but stand around and smoke and unpack some stuff. he wasn't useless but he kind of wasn't super helpful. next time he might be more helpful i guess because he'll just be driving so we can load more junk. i value all our stuff but it also does feel kind of like junk right now. like, it frustrates me i guess, i wish it could be instant, instead of car rides with her mom who is falling off the wagon again because my gf's brother got dumped and is going to live with her again. i am somewhat certain their relationship is going to get so destructive again that he is going to come crash at our place for a while.

he made her yell at him, or really all of us, or just everyone in her life vaguely, not even in the car, today. he was so unhappy about moving back, he was masking it decently, but he said about the new place and my apparent disappointment (because i am allowed to not be happy about moving because it was never our choice, her mother seems to think different, she's almost offended that i don't like the place a ton (it's just not the place i've lived in for like 2-ish years now)), that things could be worse, and he started talking about his mom's house, and having lived there, it is pretty bad and gross, she went on a rant about how no one does anything, more than a rant, accusatory and loud, vague as well, no one helped her, she's given up, she does all she can, don't fucking talk about this, don't fucking talk to me, etc. it was unpleasant and it at least wasn't directed straight at me or my gf so it didn't spike anxiety in that way but the language generally reads as her being on the outs with everyone in her life. her husband is talking about quitting his job, taking her to florida. currently, all of her family has distant thoughts of florida, her brother's plan is to go there too, with his friend who is offering to take him there. i don't know if that will materialize, and i don't think her mom's husband will quit and go to florida. but maybe. to keep her to himself, even though he's cheated multiple times and whatever.

my gf says i worry about her family too much but it seems acceptable when they're in her life so much and act destructively and irresponsibly, her stepfather is a gambler, alcoholic, cheater, whatever. he threatened to call the cops on me once, her brother is insane and has groped me and attacked his mother and done plenty else, her mother has terrorized my gf for most of her life and the periods of her being kind to her are the rare bright spots in their relationship. they are also the only 'family' i regularly see because my stepdad is so covid paranoid and my mom is so depressed and trapped with my stepdad that she just does not really want to hang out or anything and i don't blame her but it's miserable. there's not a lot to text about. she doesn't even know how i am, these days, as in, being an androgyne or whatever, i have not come out or whatever it is i'm supposed to do re: my identity/failure to have one. her family doesn't care and as far as they are concerned i guess i'm just a weird boy to them. lately that has been kind of bothering me but there's no way to correct it, at least with her mother, she wouldn't understand.

thinking about it now, i even miss my stepdad. there's a lot of frustrating stuff about him, he is basically very bad to my mom in that he's controlling/paranoid, when i lived there, during covid, he basically (i feel like) took financial advantage of me and used guilting tacticvs to get me to give him basically all of my unemployment money, which i could have done something with, like saved in some way, idk, that was a huge amount of money i feel like even now he stole, i was only able to escape because of my tax return. he's taken advantage of my mom and i many times but he is also not entirely evil. i know he's why i basically am so attuned to/worried by ways my gf's mom behaves, with howe she yells at people about them 'not helping' even if they haven't, it's something nested inside about a kind of entitlement to others and stuff, and being a better person than everyone else, that is really venomous, it's in my stepdad too, but i just wish i guess we talked or something. he raised me, whether or not i like it. i am also worried about him 'accepting me' or whatever. my mom i think would but i guess she might be upset i'm partially a daughter now. or that i always was a kind of daughter. but idk how to make sense of that entirely. how does one even come out . it feels like the biggest block in my relationship to her, i can't say, oh i went to the club and did x, it feels like a level of hiding is there becuz there is a hiding there.

i know my dad, my real dad, would disown me, but maybe he has, idk, i have not spoken to him in a long time, over a year now. he is still a crypto obsessed libertarian reactionary who hates the liberal communists grooming american children, i think.

he used to just think about aliens a lot.

a lot of the people you have no choice to be around in life kind of round out to being a little horrifying. everyone is horrifying.

anyway, tomorrow we're going to try and move a lot of furniture. i'm not really excited for taking apart the bedframe. that was so awful to put together it made me wanna die.

the song is getting closer, i think what i need to do is roll off some high transients or something on the bass tomorrow, or up to the mids even, idk. it's hard but basically i can't have it interacting with the guitars in an ugly and weird way.

anyway i need to sleep now, it's 1 am. so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!

[eriexplosion]

Idk how to copy paste emoji on phone very well but Happy, Angsty, Shippy and Family for Echo Badbatch and Athelstan Vikings bc I am, nothing if not Predictable. Also Crosshair bc ilu 💜

*Rubs my gay little hands together* Hope you're ready to read because I am not joking when I say all this came out to over 1500 words.

Echo first, our beloved sad bby.

🟡 - Happy

99 Always watched over their batch from the very beginning and probably the first real memory they have of an ori'vod paying specific attention to them was 99 stopping what he was doing to check on them after a hard training session. It was right after they got their name, when they still very much did not appreciate it, and the best way they could think of to protest was to go to the opposite end and just completely clam up. Can't be an Echo if you just don't talk. 99 aas the one to check on them all crammed up in a tiny corner and he coaxed them out and got them talking again - when he talked, he made it seem okay to be an Echo, and that was a first step to embracing the name their batch gave them, even if it still took some time to completely accept it.

...This came out more bittersweet than fully happy but. I TRIED.

🔴 - Angsty/Sad

Rex had to be the one to bring Fives up to them after they were rescued. Not because they weren't thinking about him, they were, ever since they came out of the fridge and saw that he wasn't there to greet them. But they knew Fives wouldn't have EVER passed up the chance to save them, so... if he isn't here, they already know why. It'll be painful to find out how he died, they know he's dead, and they're already in so much pain as it is both emotionally and physically that they've been terrified to bring it up. Rex knows what they're doing, so he lets it go for a little while but he can't let them leave with the batch without having this conversation, which is just as painful as they both expected it to be.

🟣 - Romantic/Sexual/Shippy

Echo is SO so shy when it comes to romance, especially coming into the Batch. They're the New person and very much coming in on a highly established team with longstanding relationships between them, and they didn't come in with expectations of ever being anything but the outsider. They are in fact SO resigned to always being the outsider that they do not notice they're being flirted with for several weeks. Tech is the first one to give up on subtlety and just ask them if they're interested in being more than Squadmates.

👪 - Family

Echo, as a reg, has the best relationship with the vode in general. Where the batch is super reluctant to intermingle due to the general tensions that have managed to root in between them and the regs, to Echo they're still very much important Family. And so they take it super personally when things keep erupting into food fight violence. They really thought they'd have more time to try to work on getting everyone to get along.

Unfortunately, instead, Order 66 happened. And now not even their batch family is together anymore. This is just going to make them more desperate though to make everyone get along as they meet up with more vode, though, because goddamnit there are not enough clones left to be fighting like this.

Crosshair next to keep the Batch babes together:

🟡 - Happy

He's actually in a good mood much more often than most people would assume, he just doesn't show it in ways that anyone outside of his batch would notice. Happy Crosshair tends to sit closer to people, sometimes lean his whole weight on them, it's like having a cat really. People that aren't used to it tend to think he's trying to aggressively get in their space to prove a point, which is what Echo thought at first when he started planting himself directly in their way all the time until they actually got to know him more.

🔴 - Angsty/Sad

Do I dare do the Lula headcanon? Do I? I think I do.

Lula wasn't always just the name of a stuffed toy. Once, a few regs got their hands on a tooka that they brought back to Kamino for the cadets to take a look at, since the kids don't get off planet except for the occasional starship tour bringing back small animals is always a huge hit for the children.

Wrecker managed to get his hands on the little tooka and brought it back to their room, named her Lula, and absolutely adored the little creature just as much as he loves his Lula now. It's adorable. But this is a Crosshair headcanon, so where does he come in?

Well, the kaminoans didn't think much of the distraction of a pet, but they let Wrecker keep it for a short while because they saw potential for a test. She turns up missing Wrecker is losing his entire mind, and in the middle of it all Crosshair gets called in for a solo test. There's just one target, and the real test isn't if he can hit her it's if he'll do what he's told even though it will destroy Wrecker. He does, but not because of any real will to follow orders, he just knows it will be worse for them if he doesn't. He makes the replacement Lula to try to make up for it - it's not the same, but it's all he can do. (If this sounds similar to my Twelve Seconds fic it's because I imagine they did this to him multiple times with increasingly brutal targets to make sure he actually would shoot anything he was directed to before putting the batch out in the field.)

🟣 - Romantic/Sexual/Shippy

He probably gets the most hookups outside of the batch and literally no one knows HOW he manages this, because it's not his pleasant demeanor. Hitting on people usually takes the form of antagonizing them and seeing if they smack him or make out with him first and somehow people keep taking the second one.

He also tends to mood drop after them, but still won't recognize that this probably means there's something he's not getting out of it (like actual companionship) and so he comes back upset half the time to lay down with one of them and Radiate Sadness. Usually Wrecker, because he has the most Comforting presence and they've been together the longest by FAR.

👪 - Family

It is pretty much his only priority at all actually. There is a reason he takes it SO hard when he thinks they've abandoned him and it's because he has genuinely not at any point bothered to find anything else to live for. (And the reason he's still going at this point is that he does hope that they'll push back against his attitude and just make him come home so he can save face by not having been the one to give in first.)

Also the softest part of his brain really envies the life Cut and his family have, far away from fighting, but he tries not to listen to that part of himself because he's 1000% sure that kind of life is not for them.

And SOFT BOY ATHELSTAN:

🟡 - Happy

Athelstan keeps all of his journals as they fill up, so that he can look back on them and reflect. This means that he ends up with dozens of these, and he can open any of them to a random page and easily guess when he did it just by what he finds there. Even if it's just a sketch, how he draws the world and people around him changes as he shifts from being afraid to truly feeling like he belongs.

This means he can go back and usually pinpoint right around where he started to fall in love with someone, because he can see it in how his art of them changes.

🔴 - Angsty/Sad

Even years down the line he still has nightmares about his dead brothers. He's tried to move on from it and make peace and in many ways he has, but the nightmares haven't gone anywhere. Sometimes he thinks he's forgotten his brothers faces but then the bad dreams make it very much apparent that he hasn't.

These are also the only dreams that Ragnar can't help much with, which drives him insane because Ragnar HATES to think there's anything he can't fix. But this is one of them.

🟣 - Romantic/Sexual/Shippy

His favorite way to wake up is kisses, so he gets them every morning now from SOMEONE. Usually Ragnar or Floki will get him up this way but if they're not available metamours will do it (Helga especially loves to give him an adorable kiss to the cheek and make him make a SQUEAK of surprise.)

Of course being in a partner's arms just makes it better, please hold him while he wakes up. (This also helps when he's been having bad dreams, which he has OFTEN. As long as they're not the above mentioned brother nightmares that is.)

👪 - Family

So obviously my headcanons and fic go off the rails sometime around season three but I adore Alfred too much to let him go just because of something as small as 'Athelstan isn't fucking Judith in this version' so therefore. Athelstan has baby Alfred with someone else, in this verse Helga. They're not Together as a couple, but they're close and Helga is happy to parent a child with him, once a polycule becomes Complex enough it's all just coparenting anyway.

Also they're precious together so sue me. He loves her, and whether it's romantic or not really doesn't matter to him, she's just important to him.

[itoldsunset]

this or that tag game

i am laughing so hard that @billlkin answered the "hard sub or soft sub" question not realizing it was about SUBTITLES thank u quan u truly made my day better

ok i assume this is about what i like to see in dramas?? so i will answer as such:

crying in the shower or making out in the shower (same quan i love a drama scene!! give me the ACTING)

give cute boy line ID or stalk his IG (hmmm IG snooping is more relatable to me soooo)

share his earbuds or share his closet (earbuds are overdone at this point, sharing closet yes!!!)

manga or manwha (i don't know what this means... i call it manga??)

long dangly silver earring or dark leather cuff (ok where does the cuff go??? idk my jewelry)

time loop or reincarnation (i am thai i am buddhist my fav childhood lakorn is reincarnation trope and i still cry over it so) 

blue engineering smock or red engineering smock (i am not invested in this at all)

kisses at the beach or kisses in the mountains (these dramas aren't giving the mountains enough love okay)

cactus or chili plant (i am all for plants u can eat!!!)  

fairy lights or spot lighting (i am too old for dorm room vibes and that's what fairy lights evoke for me sorry!!) 

ghost boyfriend or vampire lover (ok i don't like supernatural things but i am VERY anti blood-dripping-out-the-mouth imagery so vampires never had a chance)

hard sub or soft sub (i am still laughing @ quan for thinking this meant D/s dslgjhsdfjklgh i like soft subs bc font/opacity options!! hard subs are always that one outlined font from vlc and it's not the best)

stray cat or … actually that’s your only option (i have no idea what this means but what do u have against dogs?????)

Hawaiian shirt or blue shorts (this is what i wear this is what teh wears there will be no further questions here)

evil ex-girlfriend or predatory fujoshi (i h8 this question on principle) 

suit jacket or leather jacket 

high school or university (surprisingly i love the teen angst nature of high school... university age is so... messy?)

kitchen drama or office drama (sadly and surprisingly i will have to say office) 

forehead kisses or cheek kisses (quan i can't believe u could choose cheek kisses after the iconic ATOTS forehead kiss scene)

Viki or GaGaOOLaLa (sorry indie queer media creators!! i love u still, but alas viki has so many kdramas)

Japanese arthouse depth or Korean high concept (i have no idea what this means and i'm too lazy to google it i'm sorry)

pink milk or yakult (i'm sorry yakult but condensed milk is the love of my life)

censored Chinese BL or trashy Thai pulps (ok admittedly i have never seen a chinese drama bc they're all so fucking long so this is the only reason i choose thai, also i'm not sure what a pulp is... is that like action-crime stuff???)

body swap or dead body (i don't understand... body swap is a trope but dead body is... not?? how are we comparing these)

sexy or story (i prefer to read my smut, so i expect high value plot and acting and production for my shows)

back hugs or lap sitting (back hugs!! idc for lap sitting)

piggyback or cradle carry (piggyback rides are so much cuter imo)

i'm not tagging anyone bc i have no idea who all is active anymore, also chances are quan probably already tagged u anyway

[atiny-piratequeen]

Okay so. My eldest bff (15+ years we have known each other) she just found idk if a bf but a guy. And as much as i try to be so happy for her she deserves it then i am also so sad. Cause like she is experiencing everything in such short amoutn of time. And i have been trying so hard to find love and people who have not cared nor tried it has come so easily to them. And it kills me cause as much as i say oh me never getting anything is a joke it does not feel like that anymore. It is becoming a reality. In feb someone told me it is okay to experience things later but not too late and here i am at 22 being like is it too latw. I will never find love and it hurts to know that i am not wanted. And especially after trying so hard. This is all bs i kmow i am sory for dumpinng this on you. ❄️

Alright baby. Im gonna be real honest and blunt here and I'm sorry in advance. You're not ready to be in a relationship if your mentality is like this. This ask started with you saying your best friend found someone and i expected you to tell me she was treating you differently or something. It turned into a situation of you not really seeming to be happy for your friend because your expecting a relationship yourself.

You're 22. You're young. If being in a relationship is what you want, thats perfectly understandable and well but you have to work for that. Just jumping into some bs relationship isnt gonna cut it either because thats how you end up with someone who's gonna fuck you up in the long run and leave you worse than you were before getting into the relationship.

Also, I tend to notice people who kinda,,have this mentality when getting into a relationship may even be the toxic person themselves. I know there's a real big stigma about being single vs being in a relationship but really you need to work on you and how you view your own life and self worth before trying to get into a relationship. Its unfair on your partner, in my opinion to kind of jump into a relationship with that mentality because it reads off sometimes less as you wanting to be with them and more to fill the void and status quota of being in a relationship at your age.

I said it in the other ask and ill say it again. The most important relationship you should be focusing on is the one you have with yourself before worrying about any relationship with anyone else. Your life is not over or horrible for being single. Especially at 22. You're fucking young, baby. Theres so much more to life and this world and everything in betweeen to experience.

We can start by not making self depreciating jokes like "i cant get anything" when you see someone else with something. Its not healthy for you and I'm speaking from my own friend experience, people tend to start to dislike you more if you're always putting you not having things over them having something when you're friends. You cannot improve your relationship and view of yourself and your life without changing these little things sweetheart.

You can experience things later. Some people dont get their wind until much later in life. And they're just as valid as people who do get them earlier. You can find love if thats what you truly want but you need to find love in yourself and I mean in yourself WITHOUT being tied to someone else first before relationships.

Because if your love of yourself and your life is tied to someone else's outside force so strongly, what happens if that person leaves?

[musicloveop3s]

Tw (?) Learning about relationships- good and toxic ones I mention a fanfic I once read that was disturbing.

I realized after posting it on twitter that maybe it would idk make someone uncomfy. It was a lot shorter and as I've been typing this I've realize I have a lot to say on the topic. So I took it down before anyone could see it and yeah. I don't know what exact warning I should add but I am typing this on my phone so there is no cut off! BEWARE scroll fast.

At the very LEAST people younger than 16-17 should not be involved in the creepy pasta fandom. Okay I believe this ^^^ because I started reading about creepypasta when I was maybe half way through the sixth grade.

AND IT RUINED MY PERCEPTION ON RELATIONSHIPS.

I started to idolize toxic relationships. I started to think "he's protecting me from the others" or that (when I would read fanfiction) "I'm isolated because he wants me all to himself heart heart heart"

I thought the yelling and threatening was hot and attractive. The fights and hunting down of Y/N was exciting! And yes I know what some of you are gonna say....

"Well that was fanfiction not the actual creepypasta stories!" I originally was looking for MORE, like extended version, of the stories which led me to creepypasta fanfiction.

Anyways this went on for years and what got me out of the fandom (not completely I just don't romanticize it anymore yaknow like a preteen does!) Was one specific fanfic I had read andddddd that I was moving towards DC shows and yes I KNOW the shows are not completely accurate to the comics but they're good to watch fuck off! But this fic I had read was next level shit it was gore and manipulative and human uh not disfigurement but like they cut them open blah blah blah whatever and it fucked me up.

But I loved it! Because-

1) I've loved creepy shit since I was a kid if it makes my stomach churn then great!! I love that disgusting feeling.

2) It was fake. It wasn't a real story.

3) I had a crush on this character and because of all the other fics I had read I wasn't going head first. I was already halfway in.

But this did make me kinda realize

"OH these are murderers, like they are incapable of loving people. They only live to kill and some of them love it too and that's hot."

So no it didn't take me completely out but it did help. I'm older now and I know better now.

I know that those were unhealthy ideals coming from someone who is mentally ill and is low-key afraid to be abandoned... so the idea of someone obsessively loving them, go as far as to kill them to keep them, or being someone's forever partner that they couldn't betray or leave because I'll take myself down and drag you with me or someone hunting another person down and you'll love me eventually I'll force you to or I'll kill all your friends and family so that you can never leave and I only see you as a toy and once I'm bored I won't leave! I'll kill you! I will be your first and last love....... well it was yeah. And yes I am talking about myself! This was a long time ago!!!!!!

I do have a better idea of what a healthy relationship is and I am learning but for a long time that is what I expected, what I wanted, what I thought I needed. Every love story leading up to that all ended the same, divorce, cheating, abandonment, death AKA heartbreak.

And if I've learned anything it's that I'm not special. There are ton of other people like this as well. I am not alone and sometimes love isn't scary or evil and maybe just maybe some people can find true love. Sometimes the scariest things, the most painful endings leave you with heartbreak but also with good memories.

Now I'm not saying never read scary stories or creepypasta everrrr just put a age limit or warning? Though most teens and preteens won't listen...

BUT IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR CREEPY OR SCARY OR WEIRD SHIT THEN

🎊SCP🎊

Great stories there!!!

[thecloversandtherosethorns]

Silver's Letters

These are some of the last Letters Silver wrote to her father before she passed. They're taken from different times in her life and dont have any exact dates. But they are in order basicly. There might be more letters in between them too but this is what we have for now:> 

Hello again dad. A bit of a long time since i've written to you. Everything around here has been crazy! I've finally moved together with Anthony! U know the one that I talked abt so much before?? We met again after highschool or maybe in it or something? He is doing so much better now!! It almost doesnt show at all that he's been sick. Maybe only his eyes can tell. They look a bit too knowledgeable for anyone's good. I feel like mine can look like that too sometimes. As if my resting face is just hella depressed, but im not!!! My face never rests for long!! U not being able to be beside me won’t stop me dad!! I'll live the best life ever and u'll be able to read it all if you want to<3 Me and Anthony found a place near St. Magdalena or something like that. Its a rather new city, with very good hospital peeps if u can pay for em. Not that we need that anymore since Anthony is okay now^^ Its pretty but, a bit noisy here. It'll probably calm whenever u become king. In the meantime we'll wear soundblockers;3 and be just fine^^  

-Goodbye for now. Hope ur okay. Gotta go to Tony now

Dad!!! Dibdsksb oh The First!! I purposed!!! He said yes!!! Me and Anthony are getting MARRIEEEED oh my god!!!!! He was blushing and crying and i was blushing and crying and oh RCD!!! I really hope u can come! I'll send and invitation with the envelope!! But hey, if u cant then no one will hold it against you dad! Ur always with me! Even tho it only goes one wayX3 Mom never stopped stressing how much love you would give if you were here. Like, she literally still gives me the double amount of hug-time than other parents ever would. Just to give a hug from u to me as well. She's awsome. But damn. I think i'll give her an extra hug too. She was so happy for us!! But i could see an undertone of longing. Or remembering. But ye see ya! Gotta plan a wedding!! 

 -love, ur daughter, soon to be a wife!

DAD UR A GRANDFATHER NOW!!!!! me and Anthony's son Michael was born yesterday!! He has mom's eyes!!! And our freckles!!! He also has Anothony's spotted ears. We dont know abt his hair yet since he's such a tiny lil alien blob. But he's mine so he is beyond loved and accepted! I just hope I can be a good mother.. I really really hope i can. I bet i will!!! Especially with the help of mom!! And Anthony!! Awwwww he's a father now aaaa. U must feel old now grampsX3 

-Love, ur daughter, busy being a mom! 

Dad.. To be honest i feel off. I've been feeling off for months now. I think my balance ain't too great. In life i mean. Mom passed away too... I think she wrote to you. I dont wanna get this paper soaked. So back to my balance. We have a 3 year old in the house now. He is a true light! Shining and running around. His smile is absolutely adorable. I see so much of Anthony in the little boy. He says he sees alot of me in all his energy. But again. I think i've lost it a bit. Or i am still losing it? Idk. I think i am working too much. But we need income right? So i cant just not either. I need to feed my 2 little guys. Anthony is working too! He needs to set his feet up high after work tho. Nothing too bad he says. So i really dont think its that bad. I just hope it NEVER escalates or something . .

-Love, Silver

Hi dad. I- Anthony is sick. He cant go anywhere anymore. Sometimes he gets in his wheelchair and plays a bit with Michael, but mostly he's in bed. He is in pain. My love is in pain dad! And idk what to do! I am working my ass off! Trying to take care of Michael too! I am so tired dad. So so tired. I can't get the money Anthony needs. The work payment here is bad. I never realized, but the more dependant we got on our income it seemed to get more and more hopeless. We can't get enough to move either. No matter what we sell or gain. How did i end up here? A 6 year old child and a husband thats... Dying. H-how.. What am i suppost to do? I wish you were here dad! I wish that bitch would let you go!! I hope... You're okay.. Or better than this.. Or idk.. I just hope and pray that someday, me and you can take care of Anthony, take a walk to the playground with michael, and light candles at mom's gravestone.. Wouldn't that be nice dad? 

-Love, ur daughter, Silver

. . Hi dad. This is the last letter i write. Not because i dont like writing them, but because, after this there will be nothing more for me to write. Anthony hasn't gotten any better. We still dont have the money to help him. I have no energy left. I can't even stop Mike from crying. He misses his dad. I am a ghost of myself dad. I dont have mom's guidance either. Dear RCD i miss her.. I've always been used to her being here, for me, with me. I can't get over it. I know its silly. As if i'm still just a child... I guess i still am.. Dad.. I am so sorry. I am so sorry i never get to meet you. To give you a pure and proper hug.. I think under the exterior you've made urself as the king, there is a man in great pain. The Borders of the ghost gang here. They're so violent.. I hope Anthony and Mike will be okay after this.. You'll take care of them if you see them right? Promise me. Just like i promised to never give up on ur kindness to mom. And even though i've doupted it after you became king, im still writing to u. So.. I never gave that up. Not even now, when i am giving your daughter up. Her lost life will give the rest of her family enough money. Anthony will be able to get a perminant surgery, and Mike and him will be able to get away from this dump! I will watch over them... 

Dad. Just know that even tho u never got the chance to be there for me. You.. You were always here.. Truly. I've ventelated so much to you with these letters over the years. I think you know even more than mom ever did. Not just because she died but, yeah. Its not because of ur absence that you're losing me.. I've just lost the battle so many times. I can’t rise. Not like you and mom. I've never seen your strength in action, but mom said she never matched ur strength. and she was so strong.. I'm sorry you ended up with this child as cliche as it sounds. I am sorry... I will never know.. Dad.. I will never know how good your hugs are.. Or what you're favorite tea that Oscar makes actually smells like. Mom said she never got them right like Oscar did. I will never know how you've been.. How it was.. Living in that prison.. I will never know what your favorite TV show is today.. I will never see you in person. Mom said you had long fluffy hair.. Do you still have that? Heh. We share eyes too. I think they're both very tired. I just hope that u can stay alive for Mike or.. Something. Not do what i am doing.. Dad. I truly and utterly love you. From the bottom of my heart i do. I hope and pray that someone will show you that you deserve proper good love. I am sorry that person will never be me. Goodbye dad. I love you.  

-Sincerely, your daughter, Silver Rosethorn Clover 

[panchatea]

Got any hot takes about writing/writers?

hmmmmmm... let's see this might be a long but please be sure to like keep in mind that this is just opinion and I am not calling out anyone. This is just my feelings and my answer to your questions.

okay first of all!

LET's TALK ABOUT DEATH or TW-themed fics in general.

like idk if it's a thing but this topic has been going on for a while and I know some writers want to write these topics for a good story but they are afraid of getting judged and getting like called out.

okay, number one! Most of these fics have warnings and if they have a warning and you choose to read it and you are not comfy with it... that is your problem.

2nd please don't be afraid to write it if you want to and please don't be concerned about it. This is where we honestly draw lines between fiction and real life. Write tw themes like non-con, violence, death, drugging, and other stuff if you think you have a story that you deem great and you like to share.

I have read great stories that wasn't published because of this stuff. For readers and writers, pls do bear in mind that is just fiction we are writing and reading. Yes, it may happen in real-life but writing or reading it doesn't really impact our lives outside so keep that in mind.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WRITING NON-CON, VIOLENCE AND ETC. Yes if you were to look at it at some looks is it morally questionable but if you are uncomfy with that why are you here? Like this community writes smut in the first place. We openly share our lewd thoughts about idols. Yes, it is wrong that we sexualize them, but does that also mean we were to rape someone? NO ABSOLUTELY. We love these girls, we respect them and we draw a line where we shouldn't cross. So don't be a hypocrite about it.

that is one point I wanna share...

The second is branding writers.

CHA WHAT IS THIS YOU GO ON THE SPILL ABOUT TW THEME AND NOW YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS STUFF. Well, here it is and this is connected.

We writers are famous bout some of our personalities or works and we get called some stuff. It's a good laugh and it's fun but it gets tiring and it gets annoying at some point.

IDK where to start with this but here goes... like why the hell would you brand a writer such things just because he wrote this stuff.

Why must I be called a "murderer" just because I wrote someone dying... like why does have to matter? It's a character that happened in a fictional story. Why must you relate it to the author? and brand him such?

Well yes, of course, it's fine for me, and I meme about it all the time but bruh what about the others? Don't you pity them cause I do! For fuck sake I'm a character study nerd. That means I have a deep connection with my characters, I cry every time I write someone getting hurt and dying in my stories, don't you think that applies to them too? Please think about it when you were about to call someone such.

Like if someone were to write non-con, would you call them rapist?

Like if someone were to write drugging, would you call them an addict?

Lide if someone were to write violence, would you call them a delinquent or a brute?

GOSH, I've seen someone getting called a cheater all the time cause they admire an idol different from their bias. I know it's a meme but don't you think they are annoyed sometimes by it? Don't you think at some point they're just laughing but it's not funny anymore? I'm sorry if they are not feeling what I am saying right now but yeah at least keep in mind this.

and yes this is my hot takes about both writing and writers.

lmao I'm so sorry.

[sophsicle]

hey soph i’ve seen you mention a few times that you really enjoy when fics explore the racial war and navigate throughout the trauma the kids are exposed to (marauders or not) - and i do too! on those terms, i was wondering if you’d have any fic recs?

Hey! Hi! Hello! Okay I legitimately have been struggling to answer this ask forever, so I am just going to be honest - you know how some people have like excel spreadsheets of the fics they've read with like rating systems and summaries etc. ? I am the opposite of that. I have no systems and no lists which I am now realizing is a shame because I have read so many amazing fics that I would love to recommend but I legitimately can't remember what they're called or who they're by.

That being said, these are some of my favourites, however, you'll notice a trend, and that trend is that they're all Drarry and they're all post-war. I am 100% a marauders person but I have very specific ideas about what their dynamic was like so I actually find it really hard to read marauders fanfiction. Whereas like, adult Harry and Draco I am way more open to interpretation. So I have three that I think handle the trauma of the war in really interesting / different ways:

Between Myth and Man by Slytherco: (Drarry/explicit/oneshot) After the war Draco feels like he can't trust his judgement anymore and he deals with this by dosing himself with Veritaserum (amongst other things) in the hope that that will keep him honest and essentially make decisions for him. I just think the use of Veritaserum and the idea that this is how Draco copes with what he did in the war is really interesting. And obviously HP shows up and complicates everything (as he does).

Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_hoop: (Drarry/explicit/Multi-chapter/complete) Draco gets caught in a time loop, keeps repeating the same day over and over again, and through that we see him gradually accept more and more that he hasn't fully taken responsibility for what happened during the war and his part in it and that he's still allowing his dad to control him which is not what he wants anymore. Just a really interesting narrative structure to use to explore the idea of holding yourself accountable. Also there's a real cute tiny owl sidekick.

Freedom To Be by Quicksilvermaid: (Drarry/explicit/Multi-chapter/complete) This one really deals more with Harry coming to terms with the trauma he experienced than it does with Draco. Draco is, however, the catalysis for him starting to work through it. I just love the characterization of these two in this, it feels so believable to me, especially Harry. This is also a BDSM heavy fic but like, done in a really thoughtful way. Idk if that will make sense to anyone but I am a fan of sex (not that I'm saying all BDSM is sex/sexual because it isn't and this fic definitely explores that as well) in narratives existing to further the plot or character development and this fic does that so well. ANYWAY I am gonna get better at keeping track of what I read so that I can shout out all the amazing work I come across on the inter-webs but these are the ones that stand out to me at the moment!