#on the secret third hand; there was no attempt made on my mother's part to find one of those homeschool kid prom things they have. so. ._.

[aprincessofthevoid]

But What Happens To You? Natan Fluff

Legit wrote this almost a decade ago and decided to clean it up just a lil to repost because I got locked out the old account it was on lmao.

Characters are from Satan and Me by @thisiskindagross and honestly I'm cackling at the fact my obsessed ass basically got their characters pretty dead on for how the story has since progressed.

Don't ask me to read over this fic again tho even if there are mistakes. it's honestly cringe as fuck and disgustingly adorable like i felt like I was intruding LMAO.

Also made me realize I'm gayer than I thought cus the times I use to write wayyyy more slash fiction I NEVER went into this much detail describing the men involved but there are PARAGRAPHS just describing how cute Natalie is here... anyway. Fluffy, cuddly makeout sesh while Satan and Natalie wait for the end of the world to come.

Word Count: 6502

Rating: T? (Some swearing, lil depressy Satan thoughts?)

Fluff n Kisses, Hurt Comfort? Idk man typical grumpy sunshine bullshit n they smooch xx

Nutshell: Natalie comes home acting stranger than usual, and when Satan pushes her to just spit it the fuck out already, things don't quite go as he expected, so he attempts to comfort her but he’s REALLY bad at it...

Natalie shoved open the front door with a harsh slam as it connected with the wall, tossing her school bag down at her feet. Satan could hear her frustrated huffing as she struggled to pull off her knee height brown boots, and her sigh of relief when she finally freed herself. Natalie headed further into the living room and draped her jacket over the back of the navy blue armchair opposite to the love seat that ‘Stanley’ was currently sprawled out on.

Satan spared a glance at her out of the corner of his eye, before turning his attention back to the television to the generic soap opera that had been playing in a marathon for the majority of the day. He hated to admit he was almost invested, waiting to see if the main protagonist's secret and of course evil twin, was going to walk in on their fathers brother that was having an affair with their mother. The mother who had kept her locked up all her life, hidden away from the rest of the family, or if the two lovers would manage to part just before the girl barged in with the revolver she had hidden under her dress, slipped into the band of her thigh high stockings.

           Eventually, she moved towards the couch, plopping down on the floor in front of it without a word. For the better part of the next two episodes she stayed silent, but it wasn't until the third was almost finished that he really began to take notice of how strange she was acting. Her silence was unsettling, and the way she had begun to nervously rake her fingers through the ends of her hair, was sending small twinges of pain in his own head. All the signs that she had something big on her mind, and that meant he had to care now too, because there was no escape from her aggravating twitching. If the issue wasn’t addressed it wouldn’t be long before the girl's head exploded from thinking too much.

“Girl just spit it the fuck out already, before you make both of us fucking bald” He spat, letting out an agitated huff. He snapped his head in her direction, already annoyed by the anticipation of whatever bullshit explanation was going to come out of her mouth. He noticed his sudden break in the silence had made her jump and she quickly dropped her hands to her lap, balling them into tight fists atop her knees. She spared a nervous glance towards him before snapping her head back down, staring into her lap as she spoke

“Oh, um, no, ha ha, nothing wrong! Just, ya know, schools a draaaggg, heh…” She punctuated her words with a dismissive wave of a hand, before returning it to her lap. He waited still, not convinced there wasn't more to this. But his hard gaze to the side of her head was not enough to intimidate the truth out of her, she sat in silence, wringing her fingers so hard he could feel the pressure in his own hands. Finally, with a loud groan he flipped upright fully, roughly grabbing her wrists to make her stop. 

“Can you fucking stop already?!” He shouted, causing Natalie’s head to jerk up to look at him with a start, the fear and panic in her expression stunned him momentarily causing his face scrunched up in frustration. What in the hell was her problem? He was sure they were well past her thinking he was going to cause her physical harm, so why was she so damn jumpy? Natalie tried but failed to force a smile that came out of a grimace, as she weakly attempted to pull her wrist out of his grasp. In reality any attempts to get away were pointless if he wanted to keep her somewhere even in his smaller form as Stanly, and she knew it too so why the hell was she still trying to wiggle out of his grasp? 

After a few more attempts at getting him to release her she gave up with a defeated sigh, her hand hanging limply between them, the silence felt suffocating. Satan really didn’t understand her, not in the least, one minute she was all happy go lucky smiling in the face of death while running straight into the impending doom cloud of the apocalypse. Probably riding a fucking rainbow unicorn with cotton candy sunshine powers, and now she was sat in front of him, acting like any NORMAL human should at the dawn of the end of the world… Which ironically was very much out of the ordinary for her.

“Seriously kid, you aren’t yourself right now, so what’s your problem?” Natalie took in a shaky breath, and Satan could feel her chewing on the inside of her cheek as she tried to find the proper words before she spoke.

“I just, I’m worried, is all… about… all this junk that’s going on, with Michael… all these crazy monsters that want me dead and to steal your powers… what dad is gonna think when he finds out the truth…” Her voice lowered in volume as she spoke, and he had to lean in slightly to make out the words. But he understood her worry for her father, the poor old man already thought he was losing it, especially after seeing a glimpse of his long dead wife, during the possible deal with Michael over Natalie’s soul. It was just a matter of time before the guy finally put it together and figured out he was the Devil who now owned his daughter's soul. 

He figured Natalie had known from the start that things wouldn’t be easy to keep their contract a secret for long, and although he was still confused as to why she chose now to begin collapsing under the pressure, he gave her credit for lasting as long as she did.

“Really kid, that's your problem? You didn’t honestly think you could hide the apocalypse of all things, from your father forever, did you?” He couldn’t help the bark of laughter that escaped him, it was honestly hilarious to think the girl planned on hiding the end of the world from her old man, he may be a little dense at times but he wasn't a complete idiot. Satan was genuinely curious how she planned on pulling this off, because no amount of sweet talk and lies could cover up this mess, regardless of their contract, the apocalypse was coming; for everyone, ‘for her’. 

His last thought was a sobering one, and his amused grin faltered slightly at the reminder, especially now that he knew Natalie, actually knew her, and had realized how strong she was both when they met and even now, ‘but not strong enough…’. Natalie had stayed silent, and he tilted his head to catch a glimpse of her face but she turned away ever so slightly, staring blankly across the room to avoid his gaze. Her breathing was shakey and he could now see that her entire body was almost vibrating in an attempt to keep herself together.

“Natalie?” His voice had come out quieter than he intended, Satan never said her name, it was a conscious choice to not use it In the beginning, he had mainly done it simply because it had annoyed her, just so she would feel the need to remind him that she had a name. For once there was no thought behind it, his genuine concern had seeped out in a barely audible whisper, and he could feel her unease after he spoke, a twisting of something awful in his stomach that made him want to be sick. His throat tightened and a heavy pressure built up in his head… and that was the moment he heard it, a small, muffled sound, the tiny sob that came along with the next words she spoke.

“…I’m worried about what will happen to you… if Michael wins… if the demons get locked away in hell… where do you go when you die?” Her voice cracked as she spoke, and the silence after was suffocating. It filled the room around them both, but he didn't have an answer for her. Everything was becoming too much, he was both too warm and too cold, disconnected, empty, smothered by the words and the implication of them bouncing around in his head… She was just too soft, too sweet, too close. 

He couldn’t handle it, couldn’t stand the thought of someone caring so much about him because it was always a lie ‘she’s safe’, he corrupted anything he touched with his filth ‘you can’t taint her’. There was no way this small human girl could honestly care, or should care rather, about what happens to the literal devil after the apocalypse ’but she does care let her be there for you’, this time he physically shook his head to get rid of the thoughts dropping her wrist like it burned him. From past experience he knew not to be so trusting and before he truly had the chance to think about his words, they came out far harsher than intended.

           "Where the fuck did that come from? And why do you even care? It’s not like it’s going to matter anyway because you’re too stubborn to break this contract. You’re going to die right along with me so there's no reason to be worrying about my ass when were both fucking screwed” The bark of laughter that followed his words was loud and bitter, he got up and angrily stomped towards the hall and heading upstairs by himself to calm down. Seeing her cry over his inescapable fate just made him feel more guilty, and that pissed him off, why the fuck did he feel guilty? But the only quiet escape he has was her room, because there was no way she would let him leave the house alone and he needed to get the fuck away from her before he resorted to smashing whatever he could grab to blow off steam. That of course would probably just end in another trip to church as punishment… And honestly, with how he felt right now, he probably deserved the pain and discomfort that would bring him.

As he rounded the corner he paused, just out of her sight, as her muffled sniffling had now turned to open sobs in the quiet house. He felt stuck, staring intently at the worn out red rug under him as he flexed his toes and felt the fibres shift under his feet, attempting to swallow around the newly forming lump in his throat with little success. He mentally kicked himself for yelling at her, especially at a time like this. Although he enjoyed other people’s pain and despair he didn’t enjoy hers, and seriously that really pissed him off. Gripping the door frame with a clawed hand, he dug deep gouges into the soft wood, and with a low snarl he turned around and stomped back out into the Living Room.

           Natalie had looked up just as Satan stopped in front of her. Seeing her red and puffy eyes with likes of makeup tear tracks streaking down her flushed face made him feel nauseous. She began to open her mouth again, likely to question what he wanted and why he was back, but before she could say anything that might make him second guess things, Satan grabbed onto her arm and pulled her up. He dragged her towards the stairs, and in her current distraught state she weakly protested, sniffing in an attempt to stop more tears from falling as she weakly tried to pull her arm from his grasp, despite him barely holding on she stood no chance of escaping. 

He dragged her all the way up the stairs, down the hallway and pushed her into her room, only letting go long enough to slam the door behind him, which caused all random papers and photos the girl had stuck to her door to fly off, scattering all over the floor. Satan shifted into what Natalie had referred to as his ‘drug dealer’ form, turning around to face her once again. She stood there with her arms wrapped tightly around herself, her typical annoyingly extroverted, bubbly self, had been replaced with something he had only momentarily seen a few times before.

The times when she had brought him to visit her mother’s grave were the main ones, or the small handful of times some of his insults had gotten under her skin. The time Michael had brought her mothers soul to her in an attempt to forcefully break her contract with him was another one Satan could never forgive him for. It was that small flinch, the momentary silence before she would laugh and brush him off, the momentary anger she felt only seemed to make her feel guilty, and he would get this odd look in her eyes. It just wasn’t her… He shook away his thoughts, needing to focus on his current fuck up that was in need of fixing.

“Sit down” He gestured to the bed as he spoke, attempting to keep his voice as monotone as he could, it was a simple request she would hopefully be able to follow, even in her current state. She barely lifted her head, only glancing up at him through her lashes before quickly looking away. Satan could see her face was less red but her cheeks still looked damp, his hands twitched reflexively at the sight, and he had to resist the urge to wipe them away, a dull itch spreading across his palms. His whole body tensed, hands balled into tight fists at his sides to keep himself from doing something embarrassing.

Satan glanced around her room, at all the pictures, art and collectables she had lined along the walls and piled onto her bookshelf. Looking for some sort of distraction, anything that would help to shove the thoughts back down into wherever the fuck they came from with little luck. Natalie also didn't move immediately, but just as Satan thought he might lose his last bit of restraint, she slowly turned to walk towards the bed, gingerly sitting herself down on the very edge. She finally looked directly at him for the first time since she arrived home, waiting for further directions. 

He inhaled sharply, blowing the air back out through his nose as he moved towards her, stopping near the top of her bed. Leaning over he pulled down the pile of old blankets until there was enough room for her to climb into, before standing up once again, choosing to stare across the room again rather than look at her. He settled on her dresser mirror, which was surrounded by pictures and postcards both new and old, following along the line of photos, his eyes on a picture of the two of them, wedged into the upper corner. It was one that she had made him take on her birthday, a rare occurrence where he wasn’t sporting his signature frown, which appeared in almost all the other pictures she had of him. 

It was almost surreal to see his own face looking so normal and happy… he quickly looked away again, choosing instead to stare at the floor, yet another failed attempt to clear his mind of the thoughts that had been bombarding him recently. Thankfully the kid understood the silent request a little quicker this time, and she carefully climbed over the mound of blankets and pulled the layers up over her legs. Once she had gotten settled fully he sat himself down on the edge of the bed with his back to her, neither of them saying a word for a long moment. It wasn’t until he heard her quiet sniffing resume, as if she was going to cry again. 

At that his head whipped around to face her, once again Natalie avoided looking at him, with her head bent down and chin pressed against her chest. Satan didn’t know why the sight bothered him so much, it shouldn’t be getting to him at all he had seen plenty of humans cry. The literal devil shouldn’t care this much especially not about a human girl being upset ‘but you do care’. That stupid fucking voice in the back of his head was whispering to him again, it wasn’t the same as those voices, not even close, those would scream and bombard him with a constant flow of disgustingly twisted words, words he use to think was the honest truth. Which was sometimes more painful than the things the souls trapped in eternal damnation use to say about him. 

No, this calm little voice seemed to speak up at all the wrong times for a completely different reason, an ever optimistic back seat driver, this girl must really be working her way under his skin and he hated it! ‘That’s a lie’. Cursing under his breath, once again being called out by his own budding conscience, he tilted his head down, to get a better look at her face and she glanced up ever so slightly, a quiet humourless laugh escaping her lips.

“Yeah I know I’m a baby” She muttered, toying with the fraying edge of her quilt.

“I didn’t say anything.'' He really hadn’t, although he didn't really think about how out of character his actions would look to her. Satan shouldn't be surprise she thought he was basically just torturing himself by pretending to give a fuck about her emotional well being, because in the beginning that's what he did. But the longer he was forced to interact with her due to their contract, the urge to constantly insult her had dwindled and he had actually grown quite fond of her. He was finding it increasingly more difficult to deny the things that quiet, happy little voice kept saying to him.

“You don’t have to say it…” She spoke in a muffled whisper as she sniffed again and rubbed a hand across her face in frustration as the tears that continued to fall down her face. With how pathetic her voice had sounded, Satan honestly had to fight back a snort, she really did know him so well, that even when he was making the conscious effort to not be a prick she knew what his initial reaction would be (and to be fair she was being a bit of a baby but he wasn’t gonna tell her that… not yet anyway).

Shuffling further up the bed, he turned himself until he was seated next to her, leaning against the headboard, which caused her to eye him wearily. But he couldn't or rather, wouldn't look directly at her, if he did he probably wouldn't be able to go through with this, and the struggle to resist not running away and hiding was already quite the fight. Pulling up one of her pillows he propped it upright against the wall next to his torso, the only other movement he made was to stretch his arm out, still not looking directly at her.

Satan could barely see her reaction out of the corner of his eye, she had stopped crying at least but now appeared utterly confused, her nose scrunched up, mouth downturned in a small pout. Swallowing thickly, he once again appeared to be very interested in something on the other side of the room, there was no way he could let himself back out now or she would never let him live it down. Natalie pushed herself back against the oversized pillow ever so slowly, until her back finally came in contact with his arm. He couldn’t help but notice how soft her hair was, the sweet fruit and floral smell of her shampoo and perfume made his head feel fuzzy. 

Satan was pressed tightly into the wall behind him and he could feel his shoulder blades grinding against it as he shifted, finding it difficult to relax enough to find a comfortable position without disturbing Natalie. When he noticed her wearily mirroring his anxious posture next to him he shuffled slightly down the bed so he was slouching into the pillows behind him more comfortably, forcibly lowering shoulders so arm laid more naturally against the back of the pillow despite still feeling so tense, his hand loosely hung down over her shoulder gently grazing her arm. 

She continued to wiggle and shift around awkwardly, seemingly trying to avoid touching anything except the arm he had draped behind her. Eventually he had enough of her endless squirming and with an annoyed scoff he gripped her shoulder and pulled her into his side. She let out a shrill startled squeak as she was suddenly pulled into his side, he could feel her turn her head to look up at him, her hair tickling his arm where it was wrapped tightly around her. Satan felt his face grow hot as he avoided her gaze. It took everything in him to resist turning towards her, to continue ignoring how soft she felt pressed against him, her breath against his neck while she stared up at him patiently. He couldn't think about how trusting she was, or the calming smell of her perfume.NO he had to fight against those thoughts… for the sake of his own sanity. 

Thankfully it didn’t take long for the kid to realise she probably wasn’t getting any explanation and rather than trying to make him talk like she normally would, she shuffled slightly, adjusting herself until she was more comfortably pressed against his side, pulling her knees up to rest against his legs. Natalie laid her head down on his chest, lifting the arm that wasn’t trapped between them and hesitantly resting it against his ribs, tucked under her chin. Satan had to consciously remind himself to take slow steadying breaths to calm himself. As much as the girl got on his nerves at times, she had been through quite a bit since they’d met. He hadn’t really been helping lessen her stress levels, so despite his usual no touching rule he owed this to her.

Using his free hand, he carefully pulled the quilt up over them until it reached her neck, draping it over her shoulders and his arm that was wrapped around her. Satan had not been paying attention to how long it had been, but they stayed there long enough he began to notice the light from her bedroom window fading. By now she had seemingly calmed down the tension having left her shoulders, he finally took the chance to glance down at her to find she was fast asleep. Snoring lightly, Satan noticed a few pieces of her hair had slipped down over her face, and he paused for a moment before lifting his hand to gently brush them behind her ear, fingers lingering on the skin of her cheek for a short moment. He gently brushed his thumb over her tear stained face, before pulling back and resting his arm across his stomach. 

“You’re something else kid…” She really was the biggest mystery to him, because who in their right mind would feel content to fall asleep curled up next to the literal personification of hell itself?. Right from the beginning her initial fear of meeting him had faded rather quickly, and she fell into the role of his contractor. In the beginning Satan felt she took her job just a little too seriously, but the longer he was with her the more he saw she was a great help for himself. If only because she gave him no other options, she saw right through him and all his bullshit, honestly she was the only person that even bothered to find out more about him, to truly know him as something other than the king of hell. 

As much as he hated to admit it, her scrutiny was both comforting and horrifying. The more she pushed his buttons or she forced herself into his personal space out of genuine concern, the more she broke down the barricades that he had built up over the centuries… The less he minded what she saw, which had shocked him to his core initially to realize that maybe he wanted her to see more of him. Darkness, hatred, and self loathing was all he saw when forced to look within, but somehow Natalie had found good, somehow she saw a light in him that he couldn't yet, and she was determined to make him see it too someday. He honestly began to wonder if the light she saw was her own, if she had given him a small piece of herself, buried it in his chest to scare away the shadows, sacrificing some of her happiness to help his stubborn ass heal. With a weary sigh, he couldn’t help but voice his thoughts out loud.

“You may be a major pain in my ass Natalie, but ya know, I’m glad it was you I got stuck with” It was thee truth, he couldn’t help it. This girl made him feel things he thought he had long since forgotten, was a natural thing with her, and there was no way around it. 

“Not that I haven’t considered smothering you in your sleep, because I have, but I never did… I couldn’t bring myself to actually hurt you… Even hurting your feelings makes me feel bad sometimes. How’d that happen?” He trailed off, not really sure how to explain what she had done to him. Glancing down he watched her face as she slept, she looked so calm, all the stress from the looming apocalypse had disappeared from her features. Her cheek was pressed against his chest pushing her lips out into a little pout, Satan found himself focusing on her lips just a little too long, before quickly turning his eyes away, kicking himself for being a creep while she slept next to him.

He instead focused on the hand she had resting on his chest. She really was tiny compared to him, her hands were small and delicate, but he also knew she could throw a good punch when she needed too. She was strong for a human, not so much in the physical sense, but her will, and it was something he admired about her; even if her sassy nature pissed him off every so often, it pissed Michael off more. He couldn’t help the small smirk that came to his face at the thought, Michael was extremely annoyed with the fact that from the beginning, Natalie preferred Satan, and anybody else for that matter, over him.

“I know I’m an asshole, it’s in my nature, but I hope you know I don’t really hate you, not completely anyway. But you are kind of a bitch at times, and being tied to a teenager still isn’t at the top of my list of favourite things… but you’re not, completely horrible”

He felt Natalie shift slightly, and tensed at the movement, and before he could really react, Natalie sat up and faced him. He was frozen in place, as they watched each other, and then the kid did something that really threw him off. Using the hand between them as leverage, she leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, lingering there for a few seconds before pulling away and laying her head back on his chest, pressing against his side more firmly.

“I love you too ya big marshmallow” He coughed and sputtered for a moment before falling silent, his entire body felt heavy, and the tightness in his chest made it hard to breath. Looking down at her again, all he could see was the top of her head. He couldn’t help how his voice shook as he attempted to speak

“Natalie?” She lifted her head up towards him, a faint look of confusion on her face, her hair flopped over in her face once again. And that was it. As much as he would tease her about it, she really was quite pretty. Not in the supermodel sense, she was no Cleopatra that’s for sure. But her soul, she was so bright, even from his view; and he couldn’t help but wish he could see what Raphael could. But he wouldn’t ever have a true complaint about the parts he could see… with that, he couldn’t take it any longer

“I…” His words wouldn’t come out, and as Natalie looked more and more worried, there was only one way he could tell her what he was trying to say; he hesitantly lifted the hand that had been resting on his stomach to move her hair out of her face, brushing his knuckles against her cheek, before gently lifting her chin up towards him. Quickly leaned down he pressed his lips to hers, no thought or plan to it, his resolve had finally caved and he was acting on pure impulse by this point.

Her reaction was to be expected as she went completely still sucking in a sharp breath at the contact, though to his surprise she didn’t pull away immediately. He manoeuvred his hand to rest at the nape of her neck, gently supporting her head as he softly pressed into her more firmly. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, afraid to face the rejection that was inevitably coming once he retreated, only staying in place a few moments longer, savouring the soft warmth of her lips, the taste of her peach flavoured gloss, of what would likely be their first, and last kiss. Pulling away ever so slightly, he rested his forehead against hers, feeling her light panting breath flutter against his lips which sent a shiver down his spine and he inhaled shakily.

Neither one dared move, the silence once again felt smothering, Natalies soft breathing was almost drowned out by the sound of his heartbeat pounding in his head and he wished for an easy escape, to run away like he always had before. But there was no escaping this time, what he had done wasn’t something that could be easily forgiven and would be even harder to forget. He waited for her anger, for her to slap him and demand an explanation, for her to send him to spend the night on the roof outside, all of which he would deserve. He wasn’t expecting the light touch of Natalie’s free hand lightly cupping the side of his face, or the gentle stroking of  her thumb across his cheekbone. He didn't expect her shuddering breath against his lips or the small trembling in her hand that spread through her body, it was hard to focus on anything else with just how god damn warm she was pressed against him. But the one thing he really wasn’t expecting, was the tentative brush of her lips on his own.

He froze, body tensing at the contact as his thoughts began to race, scrambling to process the fact she had kissed him back, ‘she is kissing you back’. Satan felt the soft quirk of her smile against his lips and it was just enough to snap him out of his daze. His arm around her shoulder had moved to her waist pulling her further up his torso and holding her tightly. The hand at the nape of her neck tightened as he returned her shy kiss a little more firmly, barely pulling away with a short gasp before pressing back into her with more urgency.

The hand that was softly stroking his face had since moved to the back of his neck, as she raked her fingers through his hair. Satan couldn’t help the shiver accompanied by a low growl let out against the girl’s lips as her nails scraped against his skin, and this reaction seemed to give her a little more confidence. She pried her other arm from between them, wrapping it around his neck gripping onto his opposite shoulder for support. He could feel her heartbeat racing where she was pressed against his chest, hard and fast, her breath a heavy panting into his mouth each time their lips parted ever so slightly; and he was no better. He was losing his composure, he could feel as his teeth began to sharpen of their own accord, as his horns just barely sprouted out his forehead, taking every ounce of willpower to not lose control. 

He finally managed to tear himself away from her lips with a deep groan, opening his eyes to look at the girl that both ripped him apart and held him together. Natalies was studying his face carefully, the green of her eyes was almost completely swallowed up by her pupils. Neither one dared move for father knows how long, until Satan finally took the initiative, sitting up he loosened his grip on her slightly leaning into her, and Natalie followed his lead, allowing him to lay her down across the head of the bed. Hovered over her, propped up on his elbows either side of her face, he couldn't help but to admire her below him. The soft red of her hair framed her flushed face perfectly, her big doe eyes staring up at him so eager and trusting, made his whole body feel hot. 

Her mouth parted slightly, her chest heaving with every panting breath she took, and her lips were still red and swollen from his relentless assault. He was enjoying his perfect view, taking in her flustered state, what he had done to her. But apparently he was taking just a little too long for Natalie's liking, as she snapped him away from his thoughts when she gripped the collar of his dress shirt pulling him down to meet her lips once again, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. He really didn’t deserve her, in no way, shape or form, she was so fragile compared to him, as most humans were. Her soft tender frame and calm demeanour, her open affection, her mortality… A stark contrast to his tall ridgid muscle, fabricated to make him more intimidating, full of anger and hatred for these humans who cursed him to eternal damnation. He didn't deserve her and she certainly didn’t deserve him, she didn't deserve his anger, the danger of the apocalypse, none of it. Everything about them screamed that the two didn’t fit together, but right now, by some crazy miracle they seemed to slot together perfectly.

She must have sensed his wandering thoughts, as he felt a gentle scrape of her teeth against his bottom lip. He instinctually returned the gesture by biting down on her own lip with more pressure, digging his fangs into the soft flesh, greedily swallowing up her surprised squeak as he held back the urge to dig his claws into her bed spread. Everything still felt too warm, but he couldn’t bare the thought of being separated from her even for a moment. Cradling her head in his hands, he pried himself away from her lips to pepper kisses all over her face as she; the corners of her mouth and along her cheeks, her forehead down her nose. Before slowly and softly, pressing small, deliberate kisses down the side of her face, until he met with her jawline, panting heavily against her neck, waiting. Watching her face for a sign, anything to tell him this was alright, as much as he was desperate to touch the rest of her, the last thing he wanted was for her to feel pressured. He wouldn’t dare do any more than what she would allow him.

She squirmed under his weight, anticipating his next move, but when he didn’t advance she finally opened her eyes to look back at him. The sun having long set Satan couldn't be sure how long they had been there, hell even if the sun came up he’s not sure he would have even noticed right now. Eventually Natalie was the one to break the silence, her voice came out with a slight tremble. 

“So um… What now? Y-you know a lot more… about this stuff than I do…” She chewed the skin on the inside of her cheek as she spoke, and he could feel the sensation in his own. Despite the electric feel in the air and the position he had her in, it wasn’t as much a sensual thing as it was an adorable one. The grin that spread across his face as he dropped his head down letting out a deep rough laugh against her neck, seemed to confuse her for a second, but he could see the small twitch in the corner of her mouth. A smile eventually spread to her own face, and with a soft giggle she leaned in to press a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth before dropping her head back down. Satan ran his fingers through her hair, watching the strands fall lightly to the bed as he played with the softly curled locks. Her eyes drooped closed slightly at his actions, a small hum of approval escaping her lips.

“You should probably get some sleep, kid. You look like you need it” With that, he gently wedged an arm underneath her, lifting her back up to a sitting position. With the motion, her grip on his neck tightened again, and in her half asleep state she refused to let go of him as he tried to tuck her into bed properly.

“Noooo, stay. with me…please?” came her mumbled reply against his neck.

“I’m not going anywhere kid… now come on you need to go to sleep” He struggled to manoeuvre himself so he could lay down, which proved more difficult when she still wouldn’t let go of him. After a few failed attempts, he huffed and gently pried her arms from around her neck. He would not admit that the small groans of disapproval she made were adorable, even though they were... Eventually Satan managed to get them both better situated, laying down he pulled her against him and she buried her face in his chest while he rested his chin on the top of her head. It wasn’t long at all before she seemed as if she had fallen asleep, breathing softly against him, as he gently stroked up and down her back.

“Goodnight Natalie.” a whisper against her hairline, not really meant for her to hear. He didn't use her name often but realised after tonight, he really might have to start. Honestly he was starting to get used to the idea. 

“Goodnight Satan” Her small tired reply came as a barely audible whisper, and he gave her one final squeeze as he placed a final kiss to her forehead before closing his own eyes. Even if he couldn’t sleep, he could still enjoy the peace her presence brought him.

[pixel1678]

I return from the void with things to note:

I beat Farewell in Celeste, I hate that last room though

I also beat almost every C-Sides, got stuck on the last room in Summit C-Sides though

Played some Monster Hunter Rise after a while, had fun with Hammer, might play more tomorrow

I got two ideas for Pokemon playthroughs:

First one is a secret (related to the character involved in teal mask spoilers), but involves the night, and more specifically, the moon.

Second one is a mix between Legends Arceus and Violet, and I'm very happy to explain this one!

Basically, I'll do a PLA playthrough (would be Nuzlocke but i suck lol), trying to use Pokemon I haven't before (and attempting to avoid the starter this time, but just in case it'll be Cyndaquill) and especially Hisuian forms/evolutions. The only limit is that I can ONLY use Pokemon available in Paldea, whether by transfer or not, because of the second part: After beating Volo, I'll (theoretically) transfer my team over and breed them and use them throughout ALL OF VIOLET and likely Teal Mask as well!*

Now for things I've learned:

Moths almost INSTANTLY cheer me up, however seeing them die feels like my soul shatters

I can get second-hand energy from someone, which might be normal but it was certainly a surprise for me

I'm oddly similar to my mother, but mostly in ways that are harder to spot. Not to say I'm a lot like her, but I didn't expect to be as similar as I am.

And finally, I have an idea to share, but I'll leave it for another post that I'm likely making as you're reading this message (if it wasn't already made so please go ahead and check), but it involves Pixel, a character I haven't shown yet because I keep forgetting to email the image for them over to this device, and a third character that I've been cooking up slowly. They are all related, but not as a family.

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

She’s the Man (Fellowship x Disguised as Boy! Reader)

Requested by anon

Warnings: mentions of domestic/sexual assault, nudity, awkward public bathing. Might trigger a gender identity crisis in some of you folks, but don’t worry, join the club—we’re getting jackets made.

Synopsis: after having run away from your noble family and horrid husband, you cut your hair short and start dressing like a boy, presenting yourself as one throughout all of Middle-earth. This becomes hard, though, as you start travelling with the Fellowship, where they start to suspect something is up with their young “boy” comrade.

Restrictions, restrictions, restrictions—that’s all you’ve ever known. You first noticed the tight chains on your soul when you were five, when your mother forbade you from playing with the local stable-hands.

You next noticed it when you were ten, being forced to wear tight corsets to shape your body before it even began blooming.

The final nail in the coffin, however, was when you turned fifteen, and were married off to a local, and quite old tradesman.

Though he dealt in silken fabrics, he was anything but smooth or soft. The night of your wedding was painful in all regards, for at fifteen you weren’t even sure if you were allowed to remove the tight corset during the act.

Five years more of total misery accompanied you, as you were forced to attend noble banquets and celebrations.

You encountered a wide range of people, from the likes of Denethor and his two sons, to the sickly Rohan King. Of course, they did not encounter you, for you were not allowed to speak unless spoken to, which was rare.

The two sons of Denethor and King Théoden’s own son, Théodred, as well as his two cousins, Eowyn and Eomer, were the only ones to initiate conversation with you.

You quickly realized they were better-spirited than their parents, but didn’t have the chance to explore more. A tight grip on your wrist from your husband silenced you, as he tore you away from the circle of new acquaintances quickly.

That night, life in your guestroom with your husband was a living hell, as he reminded you whom exactly you belonged to.

That was the night you snapped.

Bruised and sore, you wept into your sheets. Your husband had long-gone to drink more wine at the party, leaving his young wife alone in a state of mess.

It was around the third hour of crying that you studied the tapestry on the wall above your bed. With hair wettened by your tears clinging to your puffy cheeks, you ran your reddened eyes along the art.

It depicted a strong soldier atop a horse, riding into battle. A sword was drawn, and his short hair flowing in the wind behind him.

Subconsciously, you reached up to your own hair, long in length—your husband’s desire—and pulled on it.

As mounted in every room, two swords crossed each other over a shield, making a pretty decoration above the mantle.

Looking between the bruises inside your thighs, the tapestry and the sword, your jaw quickly set. Your eyes hardened, as you threw the sheets off your frame and stalked towards the mantle.

Glancing over your shoulder, you ensured no one was entering your room. With an emotional mind made up, you removed both swords from the shield.

Hastily, you used one to bar the door shut, and walked to the centre of the room with the other. With no candlelight around, you knelt on the fur rug under a square beam of moonlight, which poured in through the bedroom windows.

You looked at your reflection in the sword, and studied the state of your misery. Despising your parents, your husband and your life, you quickly put the sword to your hair.

With only a second to build the courage, you sliced all long locks from your head, springing forward a boyish look—instantly freeing yourself from your lifelong chains.

Breathing heavily in shock, you looked at the clump of hair on the floor, and picked it up. One hand ran through your now very short locks, and the other fingered the cut clump.

However, shocked breaths soon turned into joyous laughter, as your chest swelled with pride and your eyes watered.

Standing up swiftly, you ran towards the bathroom and opened the drawers. Finding a pair of scissors, you got to work and began styling your hair further.

Soon, you were left looking like a boy, by Middle-earth’s human standards. Your hair barely scraped the nape of your neck at the back, and in front, you had a fringe swooping to one side.

Grinning brightly, and now on a roll, you ran back to the mantle. Opening your husband’s drawers, you quickly discarded your nightgown and slipped his tunic on.

Shrugging the loose fit over your form, you secured it with a thick brown belt, trousers and used your own boots.

Studying yourself in the mirror, you realized this must be how you would’ve looked if born a boy, and you were surprised within yourself over liking it.

Throwing your clump of cut hair into the fire, you soon began tying sheets together. That night, you escaped down the window and fled the city atop a stolen horse, riding towards your new life.

Five years passed by, and you had been on the run ever since. Life was never easy for you, but at least now you were calling the shots.

You had taken to your new life as a boy, like a duck to water, presenting yourself as the rather quiet and distant “Arlo”.

You kept your head down and worked hard wherever you went, whether as a blacksmith’s apprentice, baker’s boy or stablehand.

Your most favourite part of the road, however, was learning to use a sword. With a book stolen from a library and five years’ worth of nights to practice, you had become quite skilled. The spite drove you forward.

You vowed no one would ever best you in combat again, pushing you harder every day. Your best friend and only companion was your horse, Paxton, and together the two of you explored Middle-earth to its very ends.

Along your travels, you had taken to competing in swordfight competitions, where you earned most of your cash. Swindling them, you presented yourself as a weak and frail boy, but in the end ultimately beat them all.

You gained a reputation quickly, and were slightly infamous for your swordsman skills, despite being so small.

It was this reputation that led you to Elrond’s secret council in Rivendell.

Your eyes had gone wide in alarm upon entering the petal-strewn area—where the council was set to be held—for Boromir, one of Denethor’s sons, was there.

You almost turned and ran, but he caught your eye quickly. You didn’t know whether or not to avoid his gaze, but that would bring about suspicion.

He instead smiled warmly at you, and thought nothing of your appearance. You nodded back tightly, and took your seat far away from him.

You ended up sitting next to an elf, for you knew their gender worked differently from yours. He himself looked a little girlish, so you believed he’d think nothing of your appearance.

He studied you with a side-glance as you sat down, and nodded curtly. You clenched your jaw and nodded back, moving your eyes forwards again.

You discreetly let out a sigh of relief, as you found the coast to be clear. No one figured you to be a girl.

Soon, Elrond joined the council. You felt your breath hitch in your throat, as you realized his puzzled eyes lingered on you a little too long.

Worried he’d rat you out, you looked away. Knitting his brows, Elrond slowly tore his eyes away from you, and began the council.

Long story-short, you had been invited to participate on a dangerous quest, all food and expenses paid for. Unable to pass up such a good opportunity for you and your horse, you reluctantly agreed, offering your sword to the hobbit sworn to carrying Sauron’s ring.

The first few nights you kept to yourself, as an awkward air befell the Fellowship—none really knowing each other nor knowing how to interact.

Very quickly, cliques formed.

The hobbits kept to each other in a pack, Gandalf joining them. Aragorn and Legolas joined forces, and Boromir, Gimli and yourself found ranks in solitude.

However, this was not to last forever.

Boromir had attempted many times to strike up conversation with you, as besides Aragorn, you were the only other “man” there.

You kept it short and courteous, but made it apparent very quickly to everyone there that you were in no position to begin friendships. This was a job to you—nothing more, nothing less.

That still did not stop anyone from trying, though. After Boromir, Gimli was next. The topic of the night around the campfire was “women”, as they all discussed their perfect partner.

The conversation divided the group in half, over those choosing to go more physical in nature a direction, and the other half preferring emotions.

Gimli laughed heartily and elbowed you in the shoulder. “Forget this lot, eh? I bet you and I are exactly alike, laddie! Thick thighs and body hair all over! Am I right?”

Laughing nervously, you rubbed at the back of your neck. “Uh…not really…”

He blinked up at you in surprise for a moment, before shrugging his shoulders and pressing on in the conversation. Legolas studied you from across the fire, and made a mental note of your words.

Later on, when you were all setting up your rugs, Legolas approached you. He crouched down by your side and began helping to unroll your pack.

You recoiled from him slightly, and stared up in alarm. He looked back down at you briefly with a tight-lipped smile, and spoke.

“I agree with you from earlier,” he said. “I believe partnership should be about romance and emotions, not physical acts. How about you, mellon nin? Have a lady waiting back at home for you?”

You sputtered up at the prince, before averting your eyes and rolling your pack out faster. “No, I…uh, that’s not really my area…”

Legolas knitted his brows for a moment in confusion, before his lips parted in sudden understanding.

“Oh. Oh! Well, um…do you have a gentleman waiting back at home for you, then?”

Snapping your eyes up at him once more, you flushed.

“No! No! I, look—I’m really kinda tired.” You made a show of yawning loudly. “And I think I just wanna get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning, though…brother?”

Legolas blinked down at you a few times, before speaking and rising to his legs. “Oh! Uh, sure…that’s no hassle. Rest well…brother?”

“Will do,” you drew out, laying down.

He threw a glance over his shoulder at you, before walking away. He caught Aragorn’s eye as he walked past, with the ranger sat there puffing away on his pipe.

They both tightened their lips, looked away and raised their brows, figuring you were just a moody boy.

The most awkward situation of all, however, came a few weeks later. Having managed to sneak away from the Fellowship, you found a nice river, of which you could bathe in.

Paxton followed suit, keeping your towel wrapped over his saddle. He snorted in worry as you began to undress, revealing your body to the running river.

“It’s fine,” you laughed, girlishly. Your voice had returned to its normal pitch, for the first time in a long time. “Just because I’m pretending to be a boy as I travel with them, doesn’t mean I have to smell like one!”

Paxton snorted, and you knew he was telling you to hurry.

“All right, all right,” you laughed again, stepping into the water. You hugged your chest as you dipped below, submerging yourself fully.

Rising again, you exhaled a sigh of relief, and began washing the grime from your hair and face.

You were only in there for so long, however, for soon boyish laughter came from up the forested incline.

“Out of the way!” Pippin called, stripping off his clothes.

“No! You move!” Merry shouted back, also stripping down.

Behind them both, was the rest of the entire Fellowship, save for Gandalf.

Your eyes grew wide in alarm, as you watched them all meet the river’s bank. They then began undressing—Aragorn, Boromir, Gimli, Legolas and the hobbits included.

Soon, they each all jumped into the water, splashing one another and laughing loudly. You found a large boulder within the river nearby, and swam behind it.

Peeking out from the side, you watched them all swim closer in a group to where you were. They began cleaning themselves, and soon just started to wade around—relishing in the cool feeling.

However, as you tried to swim away discreetly, Legolas’ elven ears caught you. He narrowed his eyes, and began swimming over to your rock.

Knowing you would be caught if you tried to flee, you pressed your back firm against the rock, lapping up against it.

Legolas was now upon you, and looked around the corner to find what was behind it. Once he saw it was only you, he beamed brightly.

Rising up out of the water, he folded his arms over the rock and leaned over, looking down at you.

You tried to not let your eyes drift or slip, as you stared back up at him. However, mistakes were made (but clearly not on his parents’ behalf).

“Hello, Arlo!” he announced merrily. “We didn’t know you were also in here.”

Upon hearing your name, the rest of the Fellowship waved you over, asking you to join them.

You chuckled nervously and began swimming backwards and away, speaking as you did so. “Oh, no…that’s quite all right! I, uh…just remembered I actually have something to do—”

“Oh, no! Don’t be like that!” Boromir chastised. He grabbed your wrist gently and reeled you back in towards him and Legolas.

Your shoulders went rigid, as you nearly brushed up against their bare bodies.

Soon, the hobbits, Gimli and Aragorn swam over to you, and you were more thankful now for the darkness of night than you had ever been.

Though, with one slither of moonlight in the right spot, you’d soon be exposed.

“Please don’t leave on our behalf, Arlo,” Aragorn encouraged, placing a hand on your wet shoulder. “It is good for team morale to bond like this. Besides, we’re all men here.”

“Some more than others!” Gimli announced. You looked up in the direction of his voice, and immediately covered your eyes.  

Gimli was stood with his hands on his hips, proudly naked atop your boulder.

“I am the king of this rock!” he announced. “Any competitors who’d like to have a go at pushing me off?”

“Please,” Legolas rolled his eyes, before he, too, swam over to the boulder and climbed atop it. “This will be the easiest fight of my life.”

Catching more than you wanted to see, you made a squeal of rejection, before forcibly pushing your way through the group and heading towards the bank.

Paxton met you quickly, and you swiftly wrapped the towel over your shoulders like a cloak, as to not make it obvious what you were covering, but doing so nonetheless.

“I’m sorry,” you said to them, “but I truly do have something else to do…literally anything else. I’ll see you all back at camp.”

They watched as you left in a hurry, and shared glances with one another. Thinking nothing of it, besides your usual mood, they shrugged and returned to what they were doing.

This continued on for quite some time, throughout the entire Fellowship journey. Though, you never again attempted to bathe with them all around.

Fortunately, your travels soon took you out of the woods, and into the cities. Many fights had passed your small group, smaller now than before, by.

The most recent of battles saw many great feats—the “Battle of the Pelennor Fields” it was called.

In this battle, you had fought formidably. However, the true victory for women that day went to Eowyn. She had removed her helmet in the middle of the fight, pronounced she was “not a man”, like you had wanted to do so many times, and slayed the Witch-king of Angmar.

You were inspired greatly, but also so furious at yourself. You were also slightly jealous over the attention she got.

“What a brave woman,” Gimli would say.

“I’ve never met a woman so bold,” Merry added on.

“Truly remarkable,” Legolas agreed.

The six of you were sat in a stone courtyard together, camping out in the aftermath of the fight. Your jaw was rigid with fury, as you listened to them praise Eowyn over something you had been doing for the past few months.

Rolling your eyes, and making a show of turning over in your sleeping bag harshly, you quickly gained the Fellowship’s attention.

“Oh, and what is your problem, laddie?” Gimli snarked.

“Upset you were outshined by a girl?” Legolas taunted as well.

“You’re not that misogynistic, are you?” Merry chortled.

Aragorn glanced between your turned back and the laughing boys, before taking his own turn at scolding you.

“Arlo, Eowyn was a great asset today, and we are guests in her company. I will not see you sulking towards her remarkable feats.”

You glared at him over your shoulder, before huffing and returning to sleeping on your side. Your arms were folded over your chest, and your body burning in jealous rage.

“Gosh, what is the matter with you?” Legolas asked next, truly fed up with your attitude. “Why are you always in a bad mood?”

“Wouldn’t have taken you for a misogynist either,” Gimli remarked, smacking his gums as he ate a chicken leg.

You stayed on your side with your back turned to them for a few moments, glaring at the wall. However, the rage in your chest soon gave way to a lump in your throat, as you soon felt your secret burst within you.

“I’m not a misogynist…” you spoke up.

“Poppycock,” Gimli called you out.

Sighing, you sat up and looked at them to your side. “I’m not a misogynist, because…I’m not even a boy.”

Silence echoed around the courtyard, as your travel companions blinked back at you.

“What?” Pippin asked, squinting his eyes. “What do you mean you’re ‘not a boy’?”

Groaning through another sigh, and rolling your head, you pressed on. “I mean I’m NOT a boy! I’m a girl, for Eru’s sake…I’ve just been…presenting myself as one, for…reasons.”

“What reason could you possibly have to lie about something like that?” Legolas asked, not entirely believing you.

Feeling the urge to cry rising within you, you inhaled a deep breath and answered. “Nothing you men would understand.”

“I’m sorry,” Merry laughed, “but I don’t believe you at all. There’s no way you’re a girl.”

Glaring at him, you knew his words to be true. Knowing how to prove you were indeed a girl, you reached into your loose tunic, and began unwrapping the bind around your chest.

Pulling it out, you threw it down in front of the now gaping group. Without a shred of chivalry, still disbelieving you to be a girl at all, they glanced between the fabric and your chest, which indeed proved your gender.

“I don’t believe it…” Pippin whispered, staring with wide eyes.

In fact, they all did. With six pairs of male eyes on your chest, you felt very vulnerable and covered yourself.

This seemed to jolt them back to their senses, as they coughed uncomfortably and looked away.

The only one still looking into your eyes, was Aragorn. “Why did you feel the need to lie, my lady?”

Being called a “lady” for the first time in five years opened up a floodgate of emotions, as you wept into your hand.

“Yep, definitely a girl,” Merry rolled his eyes. A swift punched to his arm from Legolas silenced him.

Now knowing exactly how to deal with you, Aragorn stood up and crouched before you. He placed a tentative hand on your shoulder, and encouraged the other boys to come forwards, until they were sat all around you in a comforting circle.

“What is your real name, young maiden?” Aragorn asked softly.

Still sniffling into your hand, and bearing a downcast head, you spoke up in a barely audible voice.

“Y/n…” you revealed.

“What a beautiful name, Y/n,” he smiled warmly.

Like a turn of the tides, the boys all around took you under their wing, as if you were their own little sister. Everything about you now made sense, and they felt at ease with you instantly.

And, surprisingly, you found the same about them, regarding yourself. You didn’t at all feel threatened by their presence, but instead protected.

“I’m sorry,” you wept, shaking your head. “I had no choice, they made me marry him, and I-I couldn’t stay there, and then I had to make money so I ran with the lie and—”

They shushed your incoherent crying quickly, and rubbed at both your knees, back and shoulders comfortingly.  

They gained more information about your previous life in those few seconds than they had before in the last few months. They didn’t need to know anymore, nor wanted to, from the sounds of it all.

“Please don’t kick me out of the Fellowship…” you sniffled.

“Why would we do that?” Gimli laughed. “We now have TWO remarkable women in our ranks! Eowyn AND Y/n!

“A great win for us, indeed!” Legolas agreed brightly.

A smile broke through your tears, as they shook you softly and commended your swordswoman skills excitedly.

This carried on for a few moments, before you spoke up again, now smiling around at them through almost dried tears.

“So…you don’t mind about me lying? Or being a…woman?”

They shook their heads and returned your smile. “Not at all, lassie.”

Before the conversation could progress, however, Legolas suddenly recalled something.

“WAIT!” he gasped loudly, thinking back to the river. “THAT MEANS YOU SAW ALL OUR—”

“Let’s agree to never speak of it again, okay?”

“Aye, never again…sister.”

[creativeashproductions]

Change of Scenery // Evan Buckley

IN WHICH: Captain Bobby Nash has kept a secret from his friends, his wife and his step children since 2015 when he came to LA. Bobby’s eldest and only surviving child comes to LA to reconcile and make amends all the while she catches the eye of a certain blue eyed firefighter.

Warnings: Swearing, death/familial loss, pregnancy, blood, angst, injuries/medical emergency, and fluff

Words: 8k

A/N: Back at it with another 9-1-1 fic. Hope you enjoy, and I may just have to do another crossover with 9-1-1 and Julie and the Phantoms.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist

There are moments in our lives that define us, whether it can be known as a positive or negative, but the outcome is always the same. A six-letter word that strikes fear and excitement into the souls of humans is change. The fear can be for ourselves or as a result of a child, a sibling, or a parent branching out on their own. Unfortunately, you had gone through a harsh and cruel experience on a cold winter night in the city you grew up in.

A typical Thursday filled with classes at the college you attended in Minnesota on a scholarship, nothing out of the ordinary. The plan had been to drive to your parents’ apartment to catch up with them for the weekend. Saturday morning was already reserved for a girls day with your little sister Brook and your mom. In the afternoon, you’d promised to take your brother Bobby to the ball diamond.

Your bag was packed, the plan to drive straight from class to St. Paul the following day to arrive in the daylight. Your dad struggled with worry when it came to you driving in the dark and especially in winter with icy roads.

“Y/N!” Dottie screeched from the living room of the four-bedroom dormitory. The pretty and curvy brunette had been the first friend you made in college.

Typically Dottie was on the quieter side, so when she screamed, you practically sprinted to the girl.

“Where’s the fire?” You demanded with a smirk at the reference to a topic that was a constant in your family. 

The fire drills your father conducted every four months for an exit plan in case of a fire and general information to save yourselves. He had also trained you to remember fire hazards and how to call dispatch with clear information if that time ever came. It never did and hopefully never would.

“The Lakeview Apartments in St. Paul.” Dottie’s dark brown eyes spoke only of pity and concern. The five foot ten roommate literally caught you as you tumbled into her arms with a loud grief-stricken scream.

You were forever indebted to the brunette for the plans she sacrificed to drive you back to St. Paul. There was absolutely no chance Dottie would allow you to both drive and be alone with no news. The media hadn’t released the names of the 148 deaths the fire relentlessly tore from the land of the living.

“I want to prepare you for what you’ll see. Your mother suffered severe third-degree burns over the majority of her body.” The kind nurse, also one of your friend’s parent, explained as she guided you to the Burn Center in the Regions Hospital, “I don’t want to lie and tell you she’ll be fine. You’re an adult Y/N. You deserve the truth and not be coddled.”

“Is she gonna survive?” You quietly asked, “Has she woken up since she was brought in?”

“The doctor placed her on a high dosage of morphine for the pain. Your father hasn’t left her side.” Lucinda informed you with sympathy written as over her face, The hazel eyes unable to adequately meet yours.

“I’ll check on her, then could you take me to the rooms my siblings are in?” You asked, completely unaware Brook and Bobby had been DOA at the hospital.

Your father hadn’t answered the text messages or the voicemails you had left on his phone—radio silent. You couldn’t be mad when he was with your mom, but a text would have been nice.

“This is where your mother is staying for the unforeseeable future. If you need anything, you can call me.” Lucinda softly replied before turning her heel to head back to the Burn Centre’s front desk.

It was horrific walking into a room with no idea if the occupant who had raised you would survive. The confident, gorgeous mother you had for the past nineteen years was unfamiliar to you, the extensive gauze covering nearly every inch of her body. You almost couldn’t even recognize the man sitting in the chair with his hands wrapped. 

“Dad? What happened?” You questioned the grieving man. The only person left in your family as you would soon come to know.

“Y/N?” Bobby gasped, pushing himself to his feet, staring at his only living child. The guilt ate at him just staring at you with those light brown eyes, “Oh, sweetheart.”

Your dad crossed the room in a few steps. The scent of smoke was still clinging to every part of him, but it was fine. Your dad was okay, minus the wounds on his hands. You’d always been closer with your father than your mother.

“Dad, what happened?” You quietly asked the ashamed firefighter that had to reconcile his feelings on the fire and his career—that struggle ending up pushing you away when he really just wanted you as close as possible.

“The building caught on fire after an ember from a heater lit a blanket on fire,” Bobby informed you with his eyes pinned on his wife. Bobby knew the chances of Marcy surviving were incredibly low, and he had to tell you that.

Bobby only knew the details passed on from a firefighter who pitied the man who’d lost most of his family. 

“Is Mom gonna be okay?” You questioned, and the said injured woman in the bed weakly responded.

“Baby?” Marcy quietly questioned from her absolutely still position on the hospital bed, “Uh, Bobby.”

You left your father’s side to be as close to your mom as possible, with the clear plastic separating you for her safety. Your heart shattered at the sheer exhaustion in her pretty blue eyes. 

“Hi, Mom.” You shakily spoke with one hand lightly pressed against the plastic divider. You didn’t even notice when your dad stepped up too.

“Marcy?” Bobby called out from right beside you, just as torn up, but Bobby carried extra weight on his shoulders, “We’re right here, Marcy. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

The muffled grunt of pain, your mom’s attempt to save you from grief, Marcy let out as she turned her head to look at you. You knew deep in your gut that this was the time place you would see your mom alive. And by the look in her eyes, she knew too.

“The...kids…?” Your mom’s breathing became more erratic as she questioned the man she viewed as her hero. The man she believed had saved her and their youngest children, “Where...are they?”

“The kids are fine.” The way your father said it and the tears led to the knowledge once kept from you.

“No.” You whispered, seeing the total grief written clear on his face. The pain meds and agony kept your mom from knowing the truth.

“They’re safe.”

“I knew you’d come and save us.” Your mom breathed as her eyes started hiding the pretty blue you’d now only see in pictures. In your dreams, until even those faded as father time cruelly pulled you along.

Then your worst nightmare happened. You watched as the woman you looked up to flatlined with the thought of her children safe. You’d always know she’d held on just long enough to find out the state of her children. You could only hope she’d forgive your father for lying to her as she died.

“Mom!” You screamed, fighting the arms of an orderly restraining you. You barely noticed the resistance to your frantic attempts.

One minute you were staring at a team unsuccessfully trying to revive your long-gone mother, then you were in a hotel room. The atmosphere tense and quiet between father and daughter, with the ghost of your dead family to keep you both company. You could hear Brook gagging every time you’d kissed your now ex. You could see Bobby toddling after you years ago.

At least you had your father—a father whose guilt festered until he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“It was my fault.” He murmured, staring at the barely eaten burger that tasted solely just cardboard. He couldn’t bear to look at your face, “I didn’t mean to leave it on.”

Your head snapped to stare at him in disbelief, “What do you mean you didn’t mean to leave it on?”

“I-I went to the roof to sleep after your mom kicked me out. I didn’t have my keys to the apartment I had below ours.” Bobby began spilling the lies he’d told to you about his addictions. Of the apartment, you’d had no clue was even in his possessions.

The pain of losing your family tore into you, “You took my mom away from me. I’ll never get to share my wedding day with her. Shopping for a dress and gossiping about boys. I’ll never be able to wipe Brook’s tears during her first heartbreak.”

Each word broke Bobby more and more.

“You stole my future. You’re selfish, ungrateful and utterly pathetic. You cost so many people so much, all because you sought out your next high.” You spat, glaring at someone you’d never expected to hurt you. You didn’t notice your hands grabbing your possessions nor opening the hotel room door, “You couldn’t even properly try to get clean.”

“Y/N-”

“Get your shit together before you kill anyone else. I never want to see you again.” You sobbed with regret already festering in your body, but pride held you back from apologizing.

Upon your return to your dorm with Dottie by your side, you immediately began the process to enter an exchange program. Within a month, your feet entered Sydney Airport. You didn’t return to America for several years.

You took a job as a casual lifeguard on Bondi Beach, met Lucas in a meet-cute situation at the grocery store. You graduated college and found a job as a paramedic as you began becoming a flight paramedic. In 2020 Lucas and you discovered you’d be bringing in a little baby into the world.

Learning about your little Cashew growing safe in your womb fanned the flame of desire to reconcile. Ultimately the pride kept pushing the urge to apologize for the cruel words you told your father further away. You naively believed you had all the time in the world.  

Remember the six-letter scary word? If losing your mom, siblings, and father was a devastating blow, losing Lucas was nearly tied. Your little Cashew lost their father before they even got to meet him. That was push enough to pack up your home and fly back to America with your father’s new address as soon as you could.

In the fallout of the apartment fire, your father relocated from Minnesota to Los Angeles. 

Los Angeles, 2020

As soon as you’d found the nicest but cheapest hotel to stay in until you found a place, you walked the streets of LA. The first order of business of approaching your father at his workplace as you had no personal address. Residing still in Minnesota, Deputy Chief Evans had only given you the address of Bobby’s work.

You could only hope Bobby wouldn’t turn you away. That he was willing to bridge the gap, you’d widened over the years. That he could forgive the silence to each email, he sent when you changed numbers.

“We should go out to dinner.” The female voice was what brought you back to the present time. The woman was beautiful with her buzzed head and clear skin.

Right by her side was a dark-haired male of Asian ethnicity with a bag thrown over his shoulder, “If you’re paying, you bet I’ll be there.”

The two continued to converse in their own world until the man had to literally dodge you when they finally noticed you.

“Does Chief Bobby Nash work here?” You inquired, having no desire to enter small talk when the baby was sitting on your bladder again. You nearly retched when the man stared down at your swollen midsection, shocked, “It’s not his baby.”

Hen caught the evident disgust on your face, “He’s in his office. I’ll guide you there…”

“Y/N.” You supplied the firefighter. Hen smiled in response, “And your name is…”

“Henrietta Wilson, but you can call me Hen. That was Howard Han. He goes by Chimney, and I’ve been sworn to secrecy on the name.” Hen chuckled in her steps to the closed door of the fire chief. Hen swiftly knocked on the door to give Bobby a heads up.

“Come in!” Bobby called from his pile of paperwork he had pushed and waited to work on. It had slipped as the date came closer. Your twenty-seventh birthday, the seventh one since he last saw you.

“Cap, a woman is asking for you,” Hen told her friend and boss. It’s a good thing you didn’t choose to surprise your father because Hen was shorted, and your bump made manoeuvring around tricky.

“What can I do…” Bobby trailed off when he saw the girl waiting to talk to him. The pen in his hand dropped to the table in shock.

Hen glanced between the two equally taken aback individuals, “Am I missing something here?”

“Hey, dad.” You whispered to the man who’d been dreaming of this moment since the minute you left. He’d searched for you at your previous college and nearly made a missing person report.

“Dad?” Hen couldn’t pick her jaw up from the floor if she even wanted to because this was juicy information. Sure, Bobby had caved into telling his team, his family that he’d lost his wife and two children in a fire.

He rarely talked about his life before the 118, but he’d never mentioned having a surviving daughter. Not in the handful of times he’d talked about the tragedy, nor did he have any objects or photos of you. 

“You’re really here?” Bobby lightly chuckled with a twinkle in his eye. Hen had only seen a handful of times. All of them had Athena in the scene, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” You beamed, stepping closer to the man you’d missed dearly, “I’m so sorry for the way I left. What I said was cruel and untrue. You aren’t selfish, and I can’t blame you for something you couldn’t control.”

Bobby grinned. He’d stepped around his desk only to halt when he took in an undeniable development—the baby bump you carried.

“Is-”

“I’m pregnant. Six months along with a baby girl.” You laughed to the apparent disbelief in your father’s light brown eyes. His gaze continued to shift between the bump and your e/c eyes.

“Wow. Sorry, this is...wow.” 

“She’s one of the reasons I wanted to come back. To fix our relationship because I want her to know her grandpa. You’re the only grandparent Poppy will know.” Bobby was quick to tug you into his arms as soon as the first tear dropped down your cheek.

There was so much you wanted to tell your father, but that overwhelming grief rose higher. You’d left Australia where Lucas laid in a plot in a cemetery. You left the friends you’d found in the city. Left the lifeguard job you’d come to love.

“Where are you and your partner staying?”

“He...uh...Lucas passed away recently.”

The arms holding you tightened in response to your confession, “Oh sweetheart.”

“I didn’t know where else to go. I can’t stay in the home we bought. Not the place he died when I couldn’t save him.”

“I don’t know what happened, but it wasn’-”

“Don’t coddle me. I was...am a paramedic. A flight paramedic, to be specific, so I know that my hesitation could be the reason he died.”

Your career took the father by complete and utter surprise because you’d always planned on a different job. Before the fire that claimed so many lives, you’d never entertained a career in the emergency field.

“We have a lot to catch up on. First, you need to know that I’ll always love your mother no matter what, but you need to know. I met someone when I first moved here, and we were friends at first. She divorced her husband. We started dating...sweetheart, I remarried.”

A wave of emotions flared in your chest, from betrayal to sadness and ultimately happiness. Having lost your first love, you understood and knew if love came around for you, you wouldn’t ignore it. Lucas wouldn’t want that.

“I can’t wait to meet her.”

Re-entering into Bobby’s new life was a difficult adjustment for everyone included. Tension had risen between Athena and Bobby for a brief period. Athena hadn’t even been aware of your existence, but she could fault Bobby. Athena had even told her first husband about her late fiance Emmett when they were still together.

It was difficult for you with the new addition of two step-siblings in the same birth order as Brook and Bobby had been. The Grant siblings had welcomed you into the family without any reservations.

“Did you ever get to fly the chopper?” Harry asked as he scrubbed the dirty dish from the Sunday family dinner. 

It was the first dinner that had no awkward tension since you arrived back in the country. Athena had taken a bit to warm up, but it was nothing personal. She’d actually been the one to find you you’d been staying at a hotel. Mama Athena did not like her pregnant step-daughter living at a hotel. She’d actually stormed your room with Hen and Karen as back up to pack your room and leave for the Grant-Nash house.

“No. I had to help keep the patients alive. If I’m telling the truth...sometimes I didn’t even notice I was in the air.” You whispered to your stepbrother. He was just invested in your career as he had been when Bobby first entered their lives.

“That is so cool!” Harry enthused with soap suds splashing your thin knitted sweater. Harry’s mouth formed an ‘o’ when you flicked water onto his face in retaliation.

“Do you know Bondi Beach in Australia?” You inquired the youth with the chore of dishes completed.

“Yeah! There’s a tv show called Bondi Rescue! I watch the clips on YouTube!” Harry exclaimed, hot on your heels to the couch. Out of May and Harry, he followed you around with questions about your life in Australia.

“I was a casual lifeguard. I’m not featured on that show, but I would get called in when a lifeguard was needed. It paired well with my job as a flight paramedic.” You half-smiled, remembering the Bondi lifeguards who had welcomed you into the family. You became one of them when they started pranking you.

“Did you ever see a shark-”

“Harry, go brush your teeth. Leave Y/N alone.” Athena informed her youngest from the open patio doors. Your father, Athena and May had been outside as soon as the table had been cleared.

“But-”

“Harry,” Athena warned the youngest Grant. Harry didn’t attempt to argue with his stern mother; all he did was hug you quickly. You watched the young boy disappear into the hallway.

“He reminds you of your little brother?” Athena questioned. In your time of reminiscing, the older woman had settled in Harry’s previous position.

“A little.” You whispered, “Thank you for welcoming me into the family. For making my dad happy.”

“You know I may have some baby clothes put away if you’d like to use them?” Athena offered with that smile that made you feel at home. Athena was far different from your late mother, with her presence commanding respect and intelligence. Your mom was similar, but I suppose it could be described as a softer touch.

“Anyway, saving a penny is appreciated. I have a question for you also.” You hesitantly started with a bundle of nerves deep in your belly. Athena turned to give you her full attention.

“Well? Out with it.” Athena pushed, but she had a slight feeling of what you were about to ask her.

“My mom was one the strongest women I know. It hurts that my baby won’t get to experience her love and guidance, and you can say no. We’ve only known each other a short time, but would you consider...maybe being a grandma to my baby?”

Giddy was the feeling Athena developed along with the laughing smile that only came from happiness. The woman could only nod her head in response to your hesitant question. To Athena’s knowledge but not yours, Bobby was softly smiling, watching his formerly estranged daughter getting along with your stepmom.

“Oh!” You gasped as your baby kicked hard enough for her foot imprint to be seen through your knitted sweater. 

Bobby was by your side in concern the second he heard your startled sound, but Athena wasn’t that concerned. Athena remembered having the same reaction.

“Are you okay?” Bobby frantically questioned. He faltered when the woman shared a belly-deep laugh at the sheer fear written in the seasoned firefighter’s eyes.

“Poppy was kicking.” You chuckled as your father’s shoulders dropped in relief, “Here.”

Your nimble fingers clasped around your father’s wrist to bring his palm to the spot Poppy was kicking. A certain lightness flooded your entire body, being capable of sharing this experience with Bobby. Watching tears well up in the grandpa to be’s brown eyes.

“Whoa.” Bobby breathlessly spoke as Poppy kicked against his palm. The feeling building in his was exhilarating with the small amount of grief mixed in, “I remember when your mom was pregnant with you. We didn’t know if we were having a girl or boy, but she was adamant you would be a kickboxer. So active.”

Athena watched as the relationship between father and daughter started healing directly in front of her eyes. The Sergeant was about to give you two some privacy when you caught her hand in your free one.

“Here.” You informed the older woman shifting to place her hand where your father’s hand had previously been. Your e/c eyes sought the wonder-filled different shades of brown eyes the couple had.

“You should get some sleep,” Athena spoke, staring at her hand resting on your bump. Her dark chocolate brown rising to find your gaze, “You won’t be getting a lot once she arrives.”

Bobby and Athena watched as you turned the corner to the spare room Athena’s parents used when they visited. For the time being, you’ve moved into the room, and the Grant-Nash house hoped you would stay. May had always wanted a sister, and Harry loved all the stories you told about Australia.

“You know, at some point, you’ll have to talk to her.”

“I just was-’

“-without anyone else being the buffer. Bobby, both your lives is evidence enough that some things are too trivial to stress over.” Athena pinned her stern gaze on her husband. The same husband is actively trying to avoid her penetrating gaze.

“What I did-’

“Is in the past, Bobby. You have a second chance with that wonderful woman in that bedroom and our grandchild. Now, are you sure that having the party at the firehouse is okay?”

A hand supported the base of your back where an ache tended to stay for most of the day. That ache wasn’t the worst symptom of your pregnancy. You had heartburn constantly that tied with unfortunate constipation that had thankfully lessened. Your purse always had a cardigan for the hot flashes as well.

“Perfect! May has my car, and Bobby needed that.” Athena beamed from the open bay of the 118. One of the firefighters, Eddie, if you recalled, snagged your purse and the specific ingredient for a recipe.

“You could have borrowed Bobby’s-”

“His vehicle is in the shop Buck.” Athena interrupted the only member of the 118 you had let to officially meet.

Now there were two suspects of the sudden shortness of breath you started experiencing. It could be Poppy in the limited space in your body or the handsome firefighter. Buck had to be hands down none of the most attractive men you’d ever encountered. His dark blonde hair had minimal height, but the soft waves made your fingers itch to feel it. His ocean blue eyes crinkled at the corners with mirth.

“Ah, so you’re flesh and blood of Cap?” Buck questioned from in front of you. His blue eyes centred solely on you, with half a mind thanking himself that he could navigate the station blindfolded in the dark.

“For the last twenty-seven years, I have been.” You retorted, stopping at the edge of the stairs to the apparatus. Your keen sense of smell catching one of your favourite meals your father had dug up from the recipes he hadn’t used in years.

A zing of electricity trailed off your arm when a calloused palm met yours. Your e/c eyes followed the path of tan skin until it reached the shirt sleeve of Buck’s t-shirt. The shirt emblazoned on the chest with the department’s insignia. The man in the casual uniform guided you safely up the stairs with his hand on your back.

The pressure of Buck’s hand on your aching back muscle nearly brought what would be an embarrassing moan from your lips. Thankfully a gasp of surprise fell out instead at the banner hanging with other decorations.

“What?” You choked, cupping your hands to your face. Pure unadulterated shock and affection flooded every inch of you.

The entire 118 squad intermixed with their loved ones surrounded the open area with grins. On a table behind everyone was many wrapped gifts. But the cake was the most impressive.

A large rectangular cake in the realistic shape of a fire engine parked in front of a fire hydrant with a fondant hose going to the truck. On top of the fire truck was the turnout boots next to the matching helmet, the 118 proudly on it. You adored the turnout coat draping off the top to hang off the side.

“If you look at the helmet, it says Poppy.” Buck enthused, guiding you even closer to catch the immaculate cake, “It has to be the best cake we’ve gotten from them.”

“Hey, my rebar head cake was phenomenal!” Chimney called with a belying grin on his face. His hand encased by a brunette woman about his height with her heels on.

“It’s a long story.” Buck offered as soon as you gave him a weird questioning look, “Let me introduce you to everyone!”

For the next five minutes, you spend it by meeting the family of 118, including Eddie’s completely adorable son. Christopher was happy to sit next to you as soon as Harry had found you. Slowly the others came closer to hear the stories.

“What’re the most common injuries on the beach?” Denny, Hen and Karen’s ten-year-old son questioned.

“Bluebottle Jellyfish stings. On one day, we had hundreds of people come to the tower for stings, and the treatment for the minor ones is stingose spray and ice.”

“My question is how a girl from Minnesota is a lifeguard in Australia. Especially on Sydney’s most dangerous beach.” Chimney inserted, waving his bottle of pop at you, his eyes kept moving towards the wine Maddie brought.

Unfortunately, the 118 wouldn’t be celebrating with the wine until their shifts ended in a few short hours. It was a damn miracle they hadn’t been called out yet.

“This former Minnesotan spent summers at my best friend’s parents’ place in Cali as a lifeguard. Also, Bondi is not the most dangerous beach in Sydney. That’s Tamarama.” You pointed towards the man who raised his hands in surrender.

“Have you ever seen a dead body?” Harry asked, bringing a sobering silence in the question’s wake.

Your body language changed as soon as he asked, “Unfortunately, I’ve seen death as a paramedic and as a lifeguard.”

“You’re a paramedic? I thought you were just a lifeguard?” Buck asked, interested in the new information. Buck could feel his Captain’s eyes on the back of his head; he was sure Bobby could smell the attraction on Buck.

“Casual lifeguard. Called when needed as a backup.” You turned your e/c eyes towards the arguably youngest member of the 118.

“How many dead-”

“Harry.” Athena warned her son from continuing a topic that killed the ease and happiness you’d shown previously, “Why don’t we stop talking about-”

“Too many, Harry.” You interrupted your stepmom with a gentle smile towards the woman, “It’s not just drowning that claims lives but also the cliffs surrounding the beaches. Lifeguards patrol more than the beaches and water. Lifeguards respond to medical emergencies, mostly spinal until the paramedics arrive.”

“Oh-”

“I had a fellow lifeguard leave the job because of the suicides we deal with.”

“...who wants cake?” Karen used the quiet interlude of the much too serious topic for a group of kids barely in the double digits of ages. All referenced children followed Hen’s life to the beautiful baked creation.

“Sorry for getting dark there.”

“We all know the dark side of the jobs we chose to do. You sound like you miss Australia. Are you going to return there?” Eddie questioned with one eye pinned on his son, consuming more sugar than he wished.

Eddie’s question did raise self-doubt, but you knew that ultimately living in Australia was no longer a viable option. 

“There’s nothing there for me.”

Eddie, Buck and your father understood that mentality to a ‘t’ with family complications keeping them away. Your father for obvious reasons, whereas Eddie and Buck each had a living family with opinions only they saw right.

“You’re always welcome here. Especially when you bring that little cutie to the firehouse.” Maddie cooed towards your baby bump. The 911 dispatcher had asked many questions about your pregnancy.

 Maddie was the type of person who could make a stranger feel like they had known for their entire lives.

“Here.”

A plate of the cake was thrust in front of your face courtesy of Maddie’s brother Buck. It is quite literally the perfect size you could ask for. In his other hand, he had a new bottle of water waiting for you to grab.

“Thank you, Buck.” Your shock must have shown in your voice when his cheeks flushed.

“This whole party is a celebration for you, so you shouldn’t have to get up...unless you want to!” Buck rushed to respond, getting more flustered with the amused look of his older sister on him, “You’re already doing something absolutely amazing, so you should get to rela-”

“Buck!” You laughed, ending the older man’s rambling thoughts. The entire party attendees had started watching Buck’s failed smooth attempt.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Buck mutely nodded in response, “No prob-”

The bell was the one to interrupt him instead. The on-duty firefighters rushed down from the upper levels to the lockers. The swift suiting up impressed you as it was like you blinked, and the bay was empty.

“Should be the last call before they get off shift.” Maddie, still occupied with the cake she was eating, “That wine looks so good!”

Your attention snapped from the vacant spots the 118 vehicles parked to the woman ploughing down on the cake. Sure it was good, but not that good. Maybe you could tell as a pregnant woman, or perhaps you just caught some of the symptoms you felt.

“How far along are you?”

Maddie froze, “What are you talk-”

“You’re pregnant, right?”

“Don’t tell anyone. Chim and I found out recently, but we want to wait on telling people. Once the first trimester is over, everyone can know.” Maddie pleaded with two hands cupped under her chin in a prayer position. The pretty brunette using the puppy dog eyes on the new friend she’d made.

“You should tell Buck-”

“We will once we enter the safe zone. So tell me about your baby’s father.” Maddie swiftly changed the subject, unaware of the ache developing in your midsection.

“Lucas Gowan.” You mussed, recalling the freckled half Australian half Scots man with the thick red locks.

“Ooh, is he still in Australia?”

“Technically, he is. I met him at the grocery store near the university campus. I’d transferred to escape my grief. It was purely an attraction at first sight before developing into love at first sight. We convocated and moved into a cosy little place. We’d only just found out about the baby when Lucas passed away.”

As you told Maddie, your hand had moved to cradle the only remaining piece of Lucas. 

“His death was unexpected and sudden. He’d taken a run the morning of our scan to find out baby Gowan’s gender. He fell off the side of the cliff. I was told he died instantly. The investigator believes his shoelace untied, and he stepped on it. Fell right off the side.”

“I’m so sorry.” Maddie breathed, leaning closer to hold your hands in her own, “He’d be so proud of you. For returning to the states. Do you keep in contact with his family?”

“He was an only child. Parents died in a car accident when he was ten years old. He was in foster care until he aged out of the system. Poppy is named after his mom.”

Maddie instinctively knew talking about Lucas was, “You know you get along pretty well with Buck... I’ve never seen him so flustered.”

“Maddie, I can tell you are a very intelligent woman, but you’re wrong here. Why would a guy like Buck be interested in a pregnant woman with a reconciling relationship with her father and his Captain while grieving her baby’s dad?”

Maddie tilted her head to the side, “Because I know my brother. He’s only ever had that look when I first moved to LA. Back when Abby was still important to him.”

“We’ll just have to agree to disagree.”

Maddie’s mouth opened to speak, but you were saved by the bell when Athena called you over for pictures. Then her attempts got thwarted once more when the 118 returned to the house perfectly synced to the end of shift.

“Driving here was the last time until the baby’s here. You’ve got precious cargo-”

“I’m seven months pregnant; I can still drive. There’s no law saying I can’t-”

Never argue with Athena Grant-Nash, “It may not be illegal, but I won’t endanger my daughter or my granddaughter.”

“I have to get to my OB/GYN appointment tomorrow. You and Dad each have a long shift during my scheduled appointment. Harry is both too young to drive and in school. May has a shift at dispatch. There’s literally no one available to take me.”

Bobby watched as two of the most important women in his life argued over something as trivial as driving. Harry shook at listening to someone fighting against his mother; she could be terrifying.

“I can take her.”

Everyone in the fir house turned to the voice who’d offered suddenly and found the sheepish form of a tall firefighter. Eddie’s eyebrows raised at his best friend.

“I don’t work tomorrow. I’ve got no plans. Albert’s got some date with a girl at her place.”

“I couldn’t put you out.”

“You need a ride, and I’ll be bored, so why not take my new friend to her baby doctor.”

“Baby doctor?” Hen parroted to her wife in astonishment towards her coworker and close friend. Both the women found the blatant flirting from Buck to the soon to be mother.

“She’ll take you up on the offer. She’s staying in our guest room. Come early for breakfast before you go. We’ll be having waffles.”

Buck found any excuse to visit the Grant-Nash home with the motive to hang out with you ever since the baby shower. From delivering baked goods from your favourite bakery to insisting on driving you to appointments. Didn’t matter if Athena or Bobby could take you; Buck was adamant he drove you.

The friendship was easy going and very natural, like a ball glove still moulded perfectly to your hand. The hangouts in your home evolved to weekly visits to restaurants with guidelines to the current event happening worldwide. 

Ultimately it even led to a test date.

“You look breathtaking.” Buck breathlessly informed you once he’d gently pushed your chair closer to the table.

“Thank you.” You kindly responded despite thinking the complete opposite to the charming man sitting across from you.

Athena and May had helped you get ready for the date with calming words on how going on a date so far into the pregnancy was okay. Then, your father had tentatively inserted himself with sage advice on re-entering the dating scene.

“I thought we could grab some ice cream after,” Buck spoke up as soon as the waiter had taken your drink order. Buck had decided to refrain from alcohol and went with glasses of lemonade and water.

“You shouldn’t say that. I’ll just want ice cream.” You snickered, caressing the taut belly you’d grown to love. In fact, the firm push of a heel announced Poppy’s agreement with ice cream as dessert.

“How is Poppy?”

“The doc says she’s right on track. Healthy all around and in the position, she’s supposed to be at this stage.” Buck adored the affectionate smile that always appeared when the topic of your pregnancy was brought up.

“That’s amazing! Bobby gushes about you and Poppy. The fridge has an entire door dedicated to sonograms of Poppy. Even a few from that maternity shoot Hen and Maddie surprised you with.”

A few weeks had passed since the baby shower the 118 had surprised you with. Maddie had announced her pregnancy to the joy of the chosen family she had. Bobby had put together a crib he had painted. Michael, Athena’s ex-husband, had started making plans for adding on to the house for a room for the baby.

Despite informing the architect, you planned on moving out when you had saved enough, he’d made a sound argument. Athena would want a place for the baby to stay when you visited, or the woman demanded to babysit.

Now you found yourself in a National forest not far from Los Angeles, posing in front of nature. A surprise photoshoot Hen and Karen had organized with Karen’s brother Trey. Maddie and Athena had been the ones who drove you.

“Hold the teddy bear on your bump,” Trey informed you from behind his professional and intimidating camera. The photographer praised you in the rapid movement to listen to his offer.

“Hey! Maddie! You should take a few photos. I need a pee break.” You didn’t wait for Maddie to respond in your rush to the somewhat rustic bathroom hut.

By the time you returned, Maddie was taking a couple pictures. Then you took some with Athena to have on the nursery walls and for Bobby to have a photo for his desk.

“Now one with all three of you.”

Present

“So a daredevil.” You stated unsurprised that the firefighter had a history of recklessness. You don’t go into firefighting without a taste for danger.

“The bruises and blood fit better than the awful bleached hair during my time in Peru.” Buck laughed, recalling the questionable choice in his fashion pre-firefighting. Sometimes he missed the people he encountered in his period of self-discovery.

“You didn’t wear puka sh-”

“I did. Bleached hair, puka shells and Hawaiian shirts were my staples during my bartending years. I fit in with the aesthetic of the bar I tended.”

“Buck!” You nearly gasped at his raw honesty. Buck didn’t hold back any answers to your questions, but you each strayed from the topic of family.

Talking about the tragic family history wasn’t a good idea on the first time regardless of the time you’d known each other.

“You’re telling me-” Buck halted as soon as he caught the flash of discomfort flicker over your beautiful features, “Are you okay?”

“She shifted. Been sitting on my blad-” You cut yourself off with a hiss of pain. Buck’s eyes widened at the pain taking over your features, “Oh, that hurt.”

Buck went straight into work mode, “Have you been in pain for long?”

“No. A few cramps here and there today, but my doctor said it was nothing to worry about.” You informed the experienced first responder resting level to your knees.

Buck didn’t want to say it, but he was sure that you’d gone into early labour. There was no indication your water had broken, but he kept over the last hour together. Every once in a while, you shifted or pressed a hand to your bump.

“Has your water broken?”

You shook your head, “No, but...oh... that’s not a cramp.”

With that statement out, you clenched your fingers tight on the edge of the table as pain rippled in your belly. A contraction that stole your breath momentarily. In your contraction, Buck had dialled 911. Buck recalled that sometimes a woman’s water doesn't break until right before the birth.

“We’re not getting that ice cream, are we?” You snorted upon being lifted onto the gurney. How fortunate or unfortunate you were to have the 118 right there.

Hen had taken a position at your feet to check on your lower body while Chimney took your vital signs. You honestly didn’t like the look Hen and Chimney shared with Buck.

“What is it?”

“We’re gonna need to deliver here.” Hen sighed, giving you the facts that terrified you. When you envisioned having the baby, it was in a medical centre. Not in a restaurant.

“My office is large and away from the crowd if you want. I can show you the way.” Sophie, the restaurant manager, offered already starting to lead the way. Sophie would never know how thankful you felt for being able to have privacy.

“Okay, Y/N, is it okay if I check how dilated you -.” Hen breathed with her hand, gently disappearing until the thin blanket Chimney procured from the stocked ambulance, “Y/N when I saw I want you to do that.”

Hen didn’t need to check your dilation when she could see the baby’s head already.

“I’m right here.” Buck cooed in your ear. He had held your hand as his coworkers did their jobs around you.

“This isn’t the way I envisioned you seeing my pu-”

“Push.” Hen urged, cutting off your almost vulgar language, but it eased the tension in the small restaurant office. You couldn’t even see Buck’s flustered reaction as you bore down with the contraction, “Good! Take a breath.”

“You’re a strong woman. It never ceases to amaze me the strength women have.” Buck spoke, keeping your e/c eyes on his blue ones. His hand raised to push a strand of your sweaty hair off your temple.

“Once more push!” Hen called out just in time with the last contraction. The feeling of the pressure between your legs popping was moan inducing.

Poppy was silent. Your entire body froze, yearning for the sweet sound of crying instead of the eerie silence. The world stood still as Chimney worked on your baby girl.

“Pulse is strong,” Chimney announced, keeping his attention on the task of clearing Poppy’s throat and nose. And that sweet sound of crying commenced, “Congratulations Y/N, you have a beautiful baby girl. Let’s get you to the hospital.”

Your father beat the ambulance to the nearest ER in pure anticipation at meeting his granddaughter Poppy Nash Gowan. He barely noticed as Buck stuck to your side like glue. Bobby waited outside the door as you got checked over in the room.

“Quite the first date.” You mused towards Buck, who hovered in awe over the life form you had carried for nine months. You’d been pregnant for three quarters of an entire year to his fascination. 

“All my meaningful relationships started with a medical emergency.” Buck finally looked up at you. He’d kept Poppy company in the bassinet while you delivered the afterbirth upon entering the hospital.

“Seriously?”

“Had a tracheostomy on Valentine’s Day with Abby, an earthquake with Ali and a newscaster in a crashed helicopter.” Buck listed off. He hadn’t even noticed scooping the newborn into his arms until he’d sat in the chair by your bed, “Why not add a sudden labour and delivery.”

“He would have liked you.”

The sentence came out of absolutely nowhere. Almost like something had ripped it out of your vocal cords. At the look of confusion, you elaborated.

“Lucas. He would have liked you. I think if it is possible, he might have pushed me into meeting you. I’ll still need to take it slow, but I’d like to give this a shot.”

That was all Buck needed to lean in closer to kiss you—the first of many kisses.

Some might disagree on how quick your relationship with Buck developed, but they didn’t know yours at all. It was natural with the firefighter who stepped into the role of father figure for a growing Poppy. By the time Poppy was one, you’d moved into a house not far from your father’s place with Buck. By the time Poppy was three, a pretty ring had sat on your finger. By five, the young girl had a baby brother. 

“Your parents spoil Poppy.”

“You say that like you didn’t crawl into her crib during her afternoon naps.” You deadpanned towards your husband. Buck had the nerve to sheepishly grin, “You give in each time she says ‘pwetty pwease’ for a cookie.”

“It’s a crime to make her sad!” Buck defended himself, but a grin of amusement threatened his act, “Besides, you crack each time too!”

“Mhm. Just wait until Theo can talk.” You pressed a kiss to the sleeping infant strapped into the baby carrier. Theodore Robert Buckley could fall asleep in a thunderstorm if he was in Buck’s arms.

“Oh! Maddie wants to have Poppy over for a play date. Madster’s been begging for her cousin to have a sleepover.”

Maddie and Chimney’s daughter was only a few months younger than your daughter, but the two were thick as thieves. Buck had referred to the Han daughter as Madster with how similar her mannerisms were to her mother.

“Think they’d take the rascal?”

“Is this code for you wanting to have another?” Buck questioned with a twinkle of mischief in his blue eyes. The same blue Theo had inherited along with a birthmark like Buck’s on his bicep.

“I-” You choked, blinking furiously, “Evan, I pushed Theo out of my body barely three months ago!”

Buck inconspicuously winked in response with the sudden scream of excitement coming from Poppy. The rambunctious five-year-old ploughed into Buck’s legs full force. Falling into the practised ease, you’d unstrapped Theo from Buck’s chest and promptly had his tiny body stolen into his grandpa’s arms.

“There’s my boy.” Bobby cooed to the sleep drunk tiny infant. The little baby is crowded by his Gram Athena and Aunt May, “Gonna have to get you a Minnesota Wilds jersey.”

“Hell no. That boy is LA born and bred. He’ll be wearing a Kings jersey like the civilized.” Michael announced with the sudden arrival of Theo and Poppy’s Uncle Harry.

“Mommy? When are we going to Stralia?” Poppy inquired from right beside your leg. Her tiny handheld is the giant one of her dad.

“In a few weeks. Are you excited to see the mommy’s old friends again?”

“Hm. Can we see Dada?”

Buck may be Poppy’s father, but he’d never let Poppy go without knowing she had two fathers in all. Her first one waiting to meet here decades from the time she was born and solely referenced Lucas as Dada. Buck was grateful for the man who brought Poppy into existence; the little green-eyed tot Buck could never regret. Unlike Buck’s parents keeping his older brother’s existence a secret, the firefighter refused to follow in their footsteps. He’d continue to shower the late Lucas in gratitude and respect. He refused to make the same mistakes as Phillip and Margaret Buckley.

“Of course. C’mon Poppy, time to say goodbye.” Buck guided the little girl to the extended family showering her little brother with love. The little girl was quickly swung into Bobby’s arms, and Athena cooing at your infant son.

Changes. The six-letter word doesn’t have to be terrifying. It can be breathtaking, memorable and beautiful to experience. 

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[bowtiesandflutes]

How You Met

First Doctor

You were a Thal he had met on the group's first trip to Skaro. You noticed the tension in the group and tried to ease it, talking to the Doctor who called you a 'silly girl' but you never took offense. You knew he was rough around the edges, but he did care about Susan, although he had shown it in the worst of ways. You helped them escape Skaro and left him with parting words that stuck with him centuries later.

Second Doctor

You were the wife of Ramón Salamander and met the Doctor when he impersonated him, but you could see through it immediately. "We need to warn him!" Victoria whispered to Jamie who nodded in agreement, grinning when he saw you appear in the doorway. He knew they had to warn the Doctor, but he would enjoy his reaction.

"Oh Ramón, you have finally returned!" You walked towards the man you believed was your husband, kissing him passionately. He froze in the beginning, awkwardly returning the kiss. "What's wrong, my love? Are you unwell? I told you not to overdo it."

"I'm fine." He cleared his throat, "You worry too much."

You playfully rolled your eyes and hugged him. "I am your wife it is my job to worry about you." You pulled his hand with a smirk, "He needs rest, gentlemen. You can continue this meeting in the morning."

"Yes, Mrs Salamander."

The Doctor quickly figured out where you were leading him and looked around for a quick exit, or a distraction. You took him to the bedroom and closed the door, locking it with a smirk.

"There. Now no one can disturb us." You approached him, taking off your dress which caused panic to flash in his eyes, breaking character briefly.

"Oh Ramón, I have missed you!" You kissed him and when he pulled away minutes later you smirked, listening to him stammer, unable to form a coherent sentence.

"You are not my Ramón." You interrupted.

"N-No."

"Where is he?" You asked.

"O-On business. While I-I was over there, he was here. Then I heard he was leaving so I came here. Believe me, this was not my idea." He said.

You nodded, stepping toward him. "Alright. I'll keep your secret." You said.

The Doctor thanked you and you tugged at the collar of his jacket. "My pleasure."

His eyes widened when you kissed him, but he didn't pull away, though he took a few moments to respond. His hesitance and uncertainty faded away and soon he was kissing you with more passion than you had ever known.

Perhaps Ramón being away for a few days wouldn't be so bad after all.

Third Doctor

You were a nurse at the hospital and were the first face he saw when he woke up. You helped him when a group of men tried to kidnap him from the hospital and when he found he was stranded on Earth, he would visit you and invite you along with him on his adventures and watch him work in the lab.

Fourth Doctor

You were the Brigadier's secretary and you had spoken to the Doctor many times during his third incarnation before passing him through to Alistair. Your job became muddled with his adventures and you became his companion and left to travel with him until he had to go back to Gallifrey.

Fifth Doctor

You were a companion in his eleventh incarnation and used a Vortex Manipulator to travel back to his previous selves and got stuck for a year, the Doctor is the one to fix it. Your teasing was irritating at the beginning as you refused to tell him your real name. But over time, your teasing becomes flirtatious comments and Teegan is always trying to guess what your relationship to the Doctor is in the future, and even when she guessed correctly, you still didn't confirm it. But the Doctor knew and when the Vortex Manipulator is fixed, he himself knows what your relationship is and kisses you goodbye, telling you he can't wait to meet you.

Sixth Doctor

You traveled with him during his fifth incarnation.

Seventh Doctor

You were a friend of Ace who (like Ace) could handle yourself in dangerous situations and you both got invited to become companions in the Tardis at the same time.

Eighth Doctor

You heard noises coming from the morgue and turned off the television, heading to investigate. A man you had wheeled in earlier, confirmed dead, walking out while keeping himself covered, was not what you were expecting to find. You screamed, probably scaring him more than he had scared you, and you grabbed the closest thing near you to hit him with when he approached.

After much confused and frightened yelling back and forth, you helped him find clothes. You were sure the outfit he had settled on was meant for Halloween but didn't dare speak as you stared at the strange man.

"You were dead."

"I was, yes." He smiled, eyebrows furrowing when you pressed a finger to his cheek, checking he wasn't a figment of your imagination. "You're not going to hit me with a clipboard again, are you?

"No."

You helped him against the Master, believing him when he remembered who he was, saying, "You came back from the dead. This night couldn't get any weirder."

And when it was over, you agreed to travel with him.

War Doctor

You attended the academy together, meeting again during the Time War. You were ushering children to safety and when he had come across you, he had stopped to help.

Ninth Doctor

You were a scientist enlisted to help examine the genetically altered pig and had caught him looking around. When he tried to use the psychic paper it didn't work so he resorted to telling you the truth and you helped him find the pig, saddened when it died. You helped him against the Slitheen and parted ways after Downing Street was left in a pile of rubble.

Tenth Doctor

You met in the alternate universe, an ordinary woman turned soldier to fight against the Cybermen. You were trapped in his universe and helped him after he lost Rose.

Eleventh Doctor

You were Rory's sister and when Prisoner Zero was in the hospital, it had knocked you unconscious and when you woke up, the alien was gone and you were introduced to the Time Lord, who didn't hesitate to persuade you to join the three of them on adventures.

Twelfth Doctor

You worked at the school with Clara and despite his many attempts to keep distance between you, you were always caring towards him. When you found the Tardis, he gave a brief explanation while insulting your intelligence and when you called his bluff, he took you on a trip, claiming it was only to prove a point. But you became a great friend in time and later became more.

Thirteenth Doctor

You were traveling with her when she regenerated.

Delgado!Master

You were a scientist at UNIT and a companion of the Doctor. You met the Master when he took you hostage, not harming you, and you were caught between the two Time Lords every time the Master reappeared.

Ainley!Master

You were a companion of the Sixth Doctor and he took you with him for a while, leaving the Doctor to chase him down to find you. Only when he did, you didn't want to leave the Master behind.

Roberts!Master

You were the wife of the man whose body he had possessed and when you saw the odd colour of his eyes in the light, you immediately knew something was wrong. You fought against him and he knew you would be valuable to him alive. So he got you to help him, spouting lies in the beginning that you never believed. You were stubborn and he realized early on that he could not hypnotize you so he settled for the truth. You made a deal with him that once it was over, he would leave your husband alone and he agreed.

Jacobi!Master

You had been traveling for weeks to reach the silo. You were skilled at fighting Futurekind and stepped in when a group of Futurekind tried to hunt a family heading where you were going.

When you entered the gates, you began to ask questions, questions about a man who everyone was calling their savior. So, desperate for answers, you sneaked past guards and found the lab was empty. Chantho had caught you looking around, and when the Professor returned, he summoned guards, but you had seen the missing factors in their plan and bargained with them. They didn't toss you to the Futurekind, and you helped everyone reach Utopia.

Simms!Master

You were his secretary who organized meetings, calls and was attached to his hip nearly 24/7. You always knew there was something about him and when you were going over an itinerary in his office before he had to go to a meeting, he caught your curious staring.

"Didn't your mother tell you that staring is rude?"

You apologized, looking at the desk.

"Well, what is it?" He asked.

"Nothing, Mr. Saxon."

He knew you were suspicious, but you were more help to him alive (as much as he hated to admit) so he told you the truth and his plan. You were shocked by it and he used your attraction toward him as a weakness, starting an affair with you. When he captured Martha's family and turned the Doctor old, he tossed Lucy in a cell and you were no longer his secretary but his lover who was almost as mad as him. He had changed your shy personality for the better in both your minds, but others would disagree. The Doctor had tried to reach out to you but you were loyal to only the Master who was surprised by how much you had started to mean to him.

Missy

You met when the Doctor brought her onto the Tardis. You were traveling with him after you were captured. She was relieved to see you again, and although she was no longer the blonde-haired hoodie-wearing Time-Lord you knew, you were open to continuing your relationship.

Dhawan!Master

You were a companion of the Doctor since his Twelfth incarnation and had grown close to Missy. You would often sit and talk about the people around you. Missy organizing people into different torture factories (telling you who would go where) and you would join in. You were mischievous like her and even the Doctor had trouble reigning you in at times. You had a feeling that something wasn't quite right about O when you first met him and when you confronted him before going to Barton's party, you surprised him when you said, "I won't tell her." You had hugged him and whispered in his ear, "Welcome back."

Jamie McCrimmon

You were arranged to be married to join your clans. You went traveling with him in the Tardis and got married when you returned.

Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart

You were born decades in his future and had met the Second Doctor during one of his adventures and became a valued addition to the Tardis. You met the Brigadier, then Colonel, during the Web of Fear. He was taken back by your flirtatious personality, leaving him speechless. You weren't like, women in his time and that was something that drew him to you immediately. You meet him again during the Invasion of the Cybermen and decide to stay in his time to pursue a relationship with him.

Mike Yates

You met when you were teenagers.

Alydon

You were a Thrall and it wasn't uncommon for his eyes to wander from Dyoni whom he was to be betrothed to, however, when the war with the Daleks grew nearer, your father pledged his alliance to Alydon. People used to call your father paranoid for he always said that the Dals would return and bring nothing but death with them. Alydon was shocked that he had a daughter who was a trained warrior. His staring caused teasing that you ignored as you questioned the bashful leader about the Daleks. He swore that the planet stopped turning when you looked at him, the only beautiful thing in the withered forest.

Rory Williams

You met during his time in Rome. You helped him blend in and he was thankful for your help. A friendship quickly blossomed between you.

Ian Chesterton

You were the new teacher at the school. Ian had overheard many students talking about you and when Susan entered his class late he wondered if she really thought his class was that boring. He would have been insulted if she wasn't the smartest in his class.

"You're late." He stated.

You followed Susan inside and Ian paused when he saw you. "Its my fault, Mr Chesterton."

He cleared his throat, shaking your outstretched hand. "Right. Well, don't let it happen again.

You smiled, "Of course." You left the room, sending Susan a wave that she eagerly returned.

[russadler]

All That Remains: Chapter Two

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

A look back to happier times and a defining conversation

A/N: Hey lol once again sorry I took so long. This chapter is relatively shortish (?) because it was originally part of the next chapter, but I decided to split it since it was getting long lmao. The next chapter will actually be coming soon I promise I was like almost finished but decided to publish this section since it was done and yall need to get fed.

Also another note I guess? I refer to Russell as “Adler” even though its third person Sophie centric. I believe since they came to know each other through work, Sophie only initially heard/knew of him by his last name and will still refer to him in her mind as such. I didn’t do this much in the first chapter but I thought about it and also it felt weird calling him Russell all the time LMFAOO

August 2nd, 1980

“…I’m surprised you never had kids.” 

It’s more of a question than a statement, and an admittedly nosey one. They’re currently in the midst of a very picturesque picnic in a field of their choosing, the pair of them eating lunch while sprawled across a spare blanket pulled from the back of Russell’s car. The man in question is currently laid on his side, chewing a strawberry and peering up at her with a curiously cocked eyebrow making an appearance over the rim of his aviators. 

Sophie wriggles under the scrutiny, a blush rising to her cheeks as she redirects her eyes towards her leather boots with a timid huff. They had been together for more than enough time by now, enough time for the lustre of having Russell Adler as her boyfriend to have worn off. Yet, even all these months later, a mere glance from the man was enough to leave her flushed and stumbling over her words. 

“I’m sorry —“ She rushes to apologize, sandwich suddenly forgotten as she picks sheepishly at a loose thread on her dress. She had meant to word things a little…differently, but who was she kidding? it wasn’t her place to ask such things in the first place.

With Russell, the more you pressed him, the further away he pulled. His trust came with patience and time, a small price Sophie didn’t mind paying. There were things he held close to himself, his marriage being one of them. It was obviously a sensitive topic, or at least one he didn’t enjoy talking about. She hadn’t intended to interrogate him about the fact he didn’t have any children despite being married for a little over a decade, it was his business. Only recently had he begun sharing that part of his life with her, and it was a sign of his trust that she deeply valued.  

And here she went, utterly obliterating that carefully constructed confidence because she seemed to lack a brain-to-mouth filter.

“You’re fine, kid.”  Russell soothes, interrupting her scattered thoughts. The woman manages to to will herself to look at him again, where his enlivened grin signaling he was more amused than offended by the statement. 

He sits up, and one of his hands moves to rub at her thigh in reassurance. “I admire that you’re always pretty straight to the point.” He notes lightheartedly, subtly pacifying her current flustered state.

The woman huffs, self conscious despite the comforting words. "It gets me in trouble way too much.” She confesses, biting into her sandwich a bit too harshly. It was true. She had a terrible habit of being too honest for as long as she could remember, and it had made for some terribly awkward experiences throughout her life.

“I’d argue telling the truth is a pretty good thing to get in trouble for.” Adler remarks in return, his hand remaining on her thigh as he continues with his lunch. She could tell he was making a point of appearing relatively unconcerned about the whole thing, likely in a bid to provide her some sense of consolation. The man was leaving little room for her to feel upset at herself. 

Sophie releases a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and relaxes, shoulders loosening as she finishes the last of her sandwich. 

There’s another beat of silence, and then it occurs to her that Russell had managed yet again to wriggle his way out of talking about himself. It was a common pattern, nearly every time she attempted to make conversation that centered around him, he would artfully steer the conversation away from himself and find a way to redirect the topic towards her. 

He was annoyingly good at it, too, and she was just starting to catch on that he was doing it in the first place. 

“Wait! You didn’t answer the question!” The brunette gasps, exasperated. “You always do this!” 

“Do what?” Russell retorts, behaving as if he were completely ignorant of what was the matter. He always acted as if he didn’t know.

“You always find a way to not answer me! Every time you change the subject and then hope I forget!” The woman laughs, failing miserably in her attempt to come across as annoyed. His behavior was maddening, but Sophie often found she was less irritated and more awestruck that the man was so artful at playing people. 

“I’d never do that, you’re just making things up.” Russell quips, mouth twisted with a lopsided smile as he continues the playful banter. “I love talking about myself, actually. Could do it all day.” 

Adler just keeps smirking, stuffing a strawberry into his mouth as he does. The younger rolls her eyes, because as much as she loved him, the man could seriously be a pain. “You don’t actually have to answer the question if you don’t want to. ” She adds, humor now absent from her voice as she quietly rearranges the bundle of wildflowers she had picked.

“I said it was fine, sweetheart. Don’t worry about it.” Russell tells her again, his voice calm and even as he continues to rub circles into her skin. There’s a brief pause, and suddenly the hand on her thigh stops moving. “Wait, do you want kids? Is this your way of asking?” He asks, his head suddenly shifting to level her with a steely gaze. Despite the presence of the aviators on his face, she can feel the intensity of his stare. The man’s demeanor had grown suddenly serious, alert even.

“No! I mean…kids are nice and all and I don’t mind them…but I’m not really dead set on having them.” She explains, her own hand darting to grasp Russell’s larger one. From one moment to the next, it had suddenly become her turn to offer reassurance. “In all honesty, I feel I’d quite rather do without them, really.” She returns the man’s heavy gaze with one of her own, both in search of his reaction and in the hopes of communicating her honesty. "I was just…curious.” She admits shyly.

It was the truth, she wasn’t one of those girls whose ultimate life goal was of being a housewife with the white picket fence, apple pies, and endless kids. There was nothing wrong with that ideal per say, but it wasn’t something she saw herself wanting. 

The woman wasn’t really looking to make children a part of her life. If it happened, it happened, but she could go without them and feel just fine about it. 

Russell, on his part, seemed relieved. Accepting her answer with a nod, his gaze moves towards the sky above as he gives her hand a short squeeze.

Then to her complete surprise, he decides to answer the question anyways. Sophie turns to look at the taller as he begins to speak, shifting to lay on her left side and face him as he leaned back on his hands. 

“Well...there’s a lot of reasons, really. First, my job.” Adler then pauses to spare her a brief glance, as if to ensure she understood what he was attempting to convey. It was no secret that Russell was often away, leaving her for weeks and sometimes months on end. She was never allowed to have any hint of what he was doing or even where he was going, all that she could know was that his work was very important and very dangerous. 

Sometimes she found herself sitting at home and just hoping he was still alive. Confirmation that he was okay only came when he either called her to say he was coming home (which was rare) or until he appeared out of the blue. It wasn’t a feeling she liked having, and a sentiment Russell hated subjecting her to.  

It was just the way it was, the way it had to be. Their relationship would always come second to work, Adler had made that very clear from the start. She was either in or out, and he made sure that she knew the price that she would be paying in being with him.

Russell sighs, the exhale sounding deep and tired before he continues. “It would be unfair to do that to a kid, they wouldn’t understand why their dad was away all the time...And it would have been unfair to my ex, she would have had to essentially raise them all on her own.” 

Sophie nods silently in understanding, the living scenario was on she had come to understand personally. The periods of absence would be difficult on both mother and child for various reasons, and it was good that the couple had weighed the risks.

“Some of the guys at work are okay with that, and have wives that were okay with that, but for us..?” He continues, voice even as he grasps one of the flowers she had stuffed into the picnic basket and begins rolling the stem between his thumb and pointer finger. “We didn’t want kids that bad. We were okay, just it being the two of us.”

“You both ended up going your separate ways, too. I could imagine if you had kids that would have been a nightmare.” She adds, a relatively astute observation but one that she felt was worth mentioning. They had made the right choice after all, it had seemed. 

“God, I’m thankful we didn’t for that reason especially.” Russell replies with audible relief, thankful that children hadn’t been something to consider in their subsequent divorce. 

There’s a moment of silence, and she thinks he’s finished speaking, especially seeing that he officially answered her question. 

But then he sits up properly, clearing his throat before speaking once more. “And all these years later my feelings about it are the same and I don’t regret it.” He tells her, sounding confident and assured as he rips most of the stem away from the main portion of the flower with a powerful yank. “Even if I wanted them now, I’m a bit too old to be a dad. So that ship has long sailed.” 

Sophie nods. Russell was a man of very few regrets, and his sense of judgement was one she had come to trust wholeheartedly. He turns to her, an arm reaching out to tuck a few locks of her hair out of the way before placing the remainder of the flower behind her ear. 

The woman smiles so hard her cheeks ache. Russell Adler was a romantic, despite the fact he vehemently denies it. It was true and no one was going to believe her ever. “I don’t think you really missed out, everyone I know who has kids just complains about them.” She states, still smiling.

The taller’s chest rumbles with a chuckle. Having carefully maneuvering the food out of the way, he then wraps an arm around her shoulders, he pulls her down to lay at his side as she lets out a surprised squeak. “Have we been talking to the same people?” He asks. 

“If one of them is named Jason Hudson, then yes.”

Russell laughs then, and it’s music to her ears.

[unnecessarywriting]

Him? That’s My Dad - Fred Weasley

Requested: Hi! Can I get a Fred x reader where the reader is Sirius’ child and is best friends with the twins and when he first sees them they are maybe pranking snape and maybe they reunite in the shack cause they are protecting Harry and just fluff really? A/N: Thank you for requesting. First I want to apologize for the wait, but I had some personal stuff going on and I needed some time off. Also, I was a bit confused by your request, so I took it into my hands and tried to match it to the best of my ability, but if you want me to write something else (More of what you wanted) just let me know and I'll write something new! Requests are still open of course, and I hope you all enjoy!!!

ITALICS ARE FLASHBACKS

Him? That’s My Dad

Fifth year at Hogwarts meant that there was a lot of chaos, not to mention that you were dating one of the biggest pranksters in Hogwarts history. Fred had been there in your life from the beginning of your Hogwarts experience. Despite your last name and the reputation that comes with it, you were able to have a decent time with Fred and George by your side. By third year, you had become very close with the twins, and they even began to include you in their schemes. When Fred asked you out in fourth year, you began your work at becoming one of the masterminds behind some, if you dare say, epic pranks. Then, fifth year came around, and well, the chaos of OWLs ensued, and so did your more personal issues. 

You had been aware of the return of your father, or rather the escape of the murderer who just so happened to share your DNA. Were you happy that he was out? Well, that question was difficult for you. On one hand, he may have murdered a whole lot of people, and he may have been involved with the dark lord, resulting in making an orphan out of Harry and you. On the other hand, he could be innocent and have a real reason for not making more of an attempt to get out of Azkaban.

Before Sirius was sent away for the murder of the muggles and Peter, your mother had died. Luckily for you, Remus was made your godfather, which gave you a home, but Remus was sure to never overstep his role. He had never wanted to imitate a father to you, but there were times in which you wished it had happened. When you found out that he would be a professor at Hogwarts, you couldn’t tell if you were happy to spend more time with him, or worried that he would become too involved in your personal business. You knew Remus found education very important, as did you, however, spending time with Fred and George was sometimes prioritized. Not to mention, Remus was not familiar with your relations to one of the twins. 

You were sitting in the great hall with the twins trying to study, but you couldn’t help but overhear some of the murmurs from around the room. There was a lot more hatred pointed towards you because of the Sirius situation. It was hard to focus on too much that was meant to be actually important to you. Fred saw this, and he was right by your side to remind you of how amazing you were, and not to let the actions of your father define.

“You’re not like Malfoy. Who your father is, and what he has done is not a reflection of who you are. Now, let’s do something to get your mind off of all of those gits.” He motioned to where some other students were loudly whispering. You smiled at him and turned your attention to what George was working on.

“Who’s it for?” A simple question, but the answer would be the secret to your happiness.

“Snape.”

~ A Dog Tale ~

Sirius had his reasons for escaping Azkaban. When he visited Harry, he was in emotional turmoil. He felt terrible for being trusted by his best friend to take care of his son, and yet he failed. Then Sirius thought of you. He was never ready for a child of his own, but he was ready to give anything for your well-being. Him and your mother were not in a real relationship at the time, but he was heartbroken that she had died. He worried about his daughter and the lack of a mother figure, but he was sure that he would do everything he could to give you the life you deserved. When he was sent to Azkaban, however, he didn’t know how to react.

While he was not the one to sell out his friends, he was guilty for wrongly putting trust in someone. He spent his time repenting for making those choices. He reminded himself of his innocence, but there was a part of him that believed that he belonged there. Often, he would find himself thinking about you. He wondered what you looked like and what your personality was like. Did you take after him? Were you happy? Did you miss him? These questions lived in his head everyday, but he needed to grieve and take accountability for his crimes. 

When he got out, he wanted to go and find you, but he knew you were with Remus, and he was aware that Remus was very careful. His old friend knew about Padfoot, and for certain, he was keeping a close eye for any dog that came near you. He knew that he needed to go to Hogwarts to get to the rat he once called a friend, but there was a part of him that was convinced his main reason for returning was to answer those questions that had been eating away at him. 

When he first saw you, he knew exactly who he was looking at. You were the spitting image of your mother. Despite his dog form, he couldn’t help but feel a smile come on. Without thinking, he let out a bark and a whimper. He watched as your head whipped around to look at him. You stared at him with confusion written on your face, but you quickly returned to the twins that were beside you. He whimpered quietly to himself, but he refused to take his eyes off of you. You had grown up so beautifully, and from the looks of it, you were a bit mischievous yourself. 

He recognized the sound of a particular person he wished that he could remove from his memory. Snape. The git himself was a professor at Hogwarts. Of course. He pointed his gaze at your sudden change in demeanor. You got down and cast a spell. One of the twins towered over you as they cast another one. The other twin seemed to be the lookout. After hexing the greasy professor, the three ran off in a direction that would allow them to watch the mayhem ensue without getting caught. 

He also watched on the sidelines. He saw the obvious immediate spell cast. It was simple. A color change to the hair. He was concerned that this was the best that the three of you could do, but then he thought that there had to be more to it than what meets the average eye. He hoped that if he got to meet you, he would be able to ask you about it. Then he saw Snape’s legs start to falter, and he ultimately collapsed to the ground with an angry grunt. Sirius did everything he could to keep the laughing quiet, but it was riveting to see his old rival take such a nasty fall, especially at the hand of his daughter. His heart filled with pride knowing that she may not look like him, but she definitely took after him.

Sirius looked over at where you were hiding and watched as you hugged the twins. Then he watched you do the unthinkable.

~ What did you do? ~

When Fred and George had a plan, you liked to add a little bit of your own spice to the mix. You liked adding something that could only be thought of by you. Nothing was different with your prank with Snape. It was simple really. The twins had this new, altered version of the hair color changing spell. The plan was to make it near impossible to get rid of it. In fact, there was a particular potion that was needed to remove the effects of it, however, they weren’t planning on giving it to Snape too soon. The counter jinx would only change the color on Snape’s head. You thought it was genius, but there was a part of you that wanted a bigger reaction.

“Okay, I think that it’s great, but what if, and just hear me out, we change his feet.”

“What does that mean?” Your boyfriend looked at you intrigued by your suggestion.

“It’s easy really, there is an opposites spell that I found, and it would allow me to change his left foot to his right and his right to the left. It could be reversed, but there is a specific spell to do it, and I doubt Snape would know what it is.” George laughed at the idea of Snape trying to stand up without knowing how to fix his issue.

“This is one of the many reasons I love you,” Fred said as he placed a peck on your lips.

The three of you had learned which hallway Snape would be in, and you made your way in that direction. The three of you stood in the hallway chatting, so as not to raise any particular suspicion to your actions. You heard a bark from behind you, and you turned your head in that direction. There stood a large black dog. He looked as though he was trying to smile, but he also looked like he was punched in the head. You gazed at the dog to see if it was deranged or just a strangely happy dog. Eventually, you turned your attention back to the twins.

You heard the slow footsteps of the annoying professor, and you all got into position as you awaited with a nervous excitement. You ducked down to get a more accurate aim at his feet, and Fred towered above you where he focused his attention to the top of the greasy haired man. You both carefully cast your spells and retreated to a nearby space to watch the chaos unfold. As Snape fell, you laughed quietly. When he angrily struggled to stand up, the three of you had to move slightly to avoid bringing attention to how much you were enjoying his struggle. You hugged George, congratulating him on a good idea and a successful prank. Then you hugged Fred and pulled him in for a joyful, passionate kiss. You both pulled away and smiled at each other, while George awkwardly evaded his gaze. You felt eyes boring into you, so you turned your eyes to the culprit. The dog from before looked furious. Then, he began to run away.

“Hey, I’m gonna go for a walk, but I’ll catch up with you two later. Alright?” The twins nodded, but Fred was a bit suspicious of your sudden change in behavior. He kept his eyes on you and watched the direction you walked towards, but he kept his distance. He didn’t want to intrude on your time to yourself.

You followed the dog and watched as it ran into the Whomping Willow. You had a feeling you knew what was going on. You had often referred to Remus as Uncle Moony. When the twins showed you the map, you had a feeling that there was a connection. Cue you Sherlock skills. You thought about the other names on the map and tried to connect them to Remus’ friends.

“Uncle Moony?”

“Yes?” His gaze lifted from the Daily Prophet to your inquisitive face.

“When you were in school, did you ever feel connected to the animals there?”

“Why do you ask?” You needed to cover your ground otherwise he wasn’t going to give any information. 

“Well, I know that you don’t remember the events of what happens when you change, but I just wondered if there was ever some sort of connection with the animals on the grounds. I have found that there are some friendly deer around. I’ve also seen a few rats and mice wander around the castle.” You were trying to hint to some of the hints from the map. Prongs being a deer and Wormtail being a rat. Remus chuckled at your words.

“Yes, the deer and rats can be quite kind and they can often invade your personal space. Not to mention the wild dogs. Those can be the most intrusive creatures on the grounds.” A dog. That was the last detail you needed. Padfoot. Now you just needed to figure out who was who. 

In your years at Hogwarts, it was relatively rare to find a dog on the grounds. That didn’t mean that it never happened, but this dog seemed different, and you had a hunch as to what was going on. You stood far away from the tree and contemplated going into the whole that the dog ran into. If you were right, then you could easily be heading to your one way trip to the afterlife, but you wanted to protect the people you cared about at all costs. You didn’t trust the professors with this information, and Remus was no exception. Harry had become a friend to you over the years, and if the disgusting rumors held true, this could be your chance to help him. Afterall, this was your father who was trying to kill Harry. The least you could do is fight this man and prove that you were capable of not being like him. 

You ran by the swinging branches and launched yourself into the whole. You found yourself in what appeared to be the shrieking shack. The floorboards creaked all around you. You pulled the wand out from your pocket and pointed in the direction you were walking. Eventually, you found yourself face to face with the dog.

“You know, I had a feeling you were the dog. Remus never admitted to anything, but something about all that he told me about you just reminded me of a dog. You don’t have to stay in that ridiculous form since I know it’s you.” You were surprised by your own confidence, but twelve years of anger can spark a lot. Suddenly, you were met with the man you thought you would never see again. You raised the wand up to his face, and locked your jaw in anger. 

“You look just like your mother Y/N. I know you think I’m a murderer, but that’s not the case. I’m innocent. Why don’t you lower your wand and we can talk this through.” He spoke carefully and clearly so as not to push you to hex him into another life.

“I don’t know why you came here, but I’m not going to let you hurt Harry, and I sure as hell am not going to let my guard down. You escaped from Azkaban for murder. Did you really think that I was going to believe you? Honestly, you must really be an idiot. Even if you are innocent, you let Harry and I live without you. You were supposed to be there for us.” You yelled the last line with an anger you didn’t know you had. “You were supposed to be there for me.” Your voice was low and full of pain. Sirius felt everything you said to him.

“I know, but allow me to explain.” You kept your wand in place as Sirius told his story. He explained how he was framed by Peter, and his reasoning for returning to Hogwarts. “You’re right. I should've done more to be there for you, but I can’t change the past. I sure as hell am never going to forgive myself for allowing you to grow up without me. I’m here now though. I know that I cannot make up the lost time, but I can try like hell to be there for you now. I have no right to ask for anything but I beg you to give me a chance to be in your life.” 

You lowered your wand and sat down on the nearest surface. Sirius sighed at the removal of the threat. He stayed silent as he watched you think about everything he said. He knew it was a lot for you to handle. It was a lot for anyone to handle. Neither of you were aware of how long you both sat there, but when you heard a distant creak and the familiar call of your name, you both launched into action. Sirius transformed into Padfoot.

“Y/N? Are you in here?” Fred appeared in the doorway and sighed at the sight of you. “George, she’s in here. Darling, what are you doing here? We've been looking for you for hours. You had us both worried.” He pulled you into a tight embrace and kissed the top of your head. You breathed in his scent and smiled. Maybe having your dad in your life wouldn’t be so terrible. You thought about Fred and your future together often. You thought about what it may be like to have someone that you could call your dad be there to watch you achieve all of the milestones in your life, and be there for any future children you may have. You thought about how happy Fred and George were with their family, and how jealous you were of their parents.

“Were you just here with a dog all of this time?” George asked as he walked into the room. Fred moved his gaze to the big, black dog in the room. You giggle quietly.

“Oh him? That’s my dad.” You smiled and sat next to the dog and gave him a reassuring look. “And judging by the way he’s looking at you Fred, he doesn’t seem too happy that his only daughter is dating someone.” Padfoot offered a small growl at your boyfriend who was both confused and slightly scared. 

“Y/N. I think you might be losing it.” George muttered. You laughed and motioned for Sirius to regain his human form. The look of fear and shock on the twins’ faces were priceless.

“Mr. Weasley I presume.” Sirius held out his hand. Apparently the Weasley hair was something that exceeded generation. Fred reached out his hand to meet your dad’s and he muttered his response. “I understand that you are dating my daughter. I will allow this, however, after I am proven innocent, and we can have a word alone, I think we should get to know one another. Thoroughly.” You watched the interaction with joy. You knew that sirius was pranking Fred, although there was a bit of seriousness in his tone as well.

“Boys, I assume that I don’t need to tell you that the knowledge of Sirius should remain a secret. I will also say that he is of no threat to any of us, so there is no need to worry.” You grabbed Fred’s hand and gave him a reassuring squeeze. “I think that you two should return to the school. I’m going to stay here a bit longer, but I am perfectly fine.” You kissed Fred’s cheek and gave a side hug to George as they wandered out of the shack. They weren’t happy that you were left alone with someone who was notorious for mass murder, but they understood that you wouldn’t put everyone in danger.

“So, you’ve taken to pranking old Snivellus eh?” You laughed and nodded. You wouldn’t have expected your day to go from terrible to one with an amazing boyfriend, and a supportive dad, but fate works in mysterious ways.

[svnflowervol666]

Ma Petite Chérie: Babymoon (Harry Styles x fem!Reader)

Read more from this little universe, Ma Petite Chérie, in my masterlist!

Summary: Harry and Y/N go on their babymoon.

Warnings: pregnancy, smut, fluff

Word Count: 6.4k

Author’s Note: Hello! I wrote this in order to cross off a few requests. I promised Harry and Y/N would have a baby of their own, plus I get asks all of the time to write pregnancy sex - specifically awkward, giggly pregnancy sex. I also got one about Harry getting a love boner, so here is my attempt at shoving all of that down your throat at once. Try not to choke :-)  I also just reallllllly love Harry, Y/N, and Tallulah, so I wanted to give them some more love. Also made this one pornstache!Harry, so, there’s that. And one last thing...I know the verb tense is way off in this but I could not be arsed to edit it so plz don’t drag me. I hope everyone enjoys! Take care and TPWK.

“Oh my god,” Y/N huffed as she collapsed on the plush sofa in the living room of the cottage.

“It feels so fucking good out here by the water.”

“Breeze is nice, innit?” Harry replied as he rummaged through the kitchen cabinets to check out how well the place he’d rented for the week was stocked.

“Beats going t’ France at the end of June. Think I’m kinda gettin’ tired of Paris t’ be honest.”

“That is quite possibly the snobbiest thing I’ve ever heard you say, Mr. Styles,” she said with a laugh as she began to flip through the tourist brochures that were left on the coffee table.

Not that they’d be partaking in any of it, no. Their plan was to hole up in the quaint, Scottish cottage that sat right on the coast of the North Sea for the whole week, not even planning on changing out of their pajamas.

It was their babymoon after all - a time of peace and tranquility before the arrival of their first child together.

Harry hummed and he made his way from the kitchen to where Y/N was seated on the couch. He stood behind her, knees knocking against the back of the sofa as he crouched down and wrapped his arms around her very large, very swollen belly.

“If I recall correctly, Mrs. Styles, I sat my injured arse in a stiff train seat to Edinburgh for five hours because someone was too scared to fly even though they were cleared to do so by three separate doctors.”

“’M not Mrs. Styles for another year and a half,” Y/N muttered under her breath, albeit not trying to keep Harry from hearing it in the slightest.

Harry snickered into her neck, then playfully nipped her earlobe with his teeth as he whispered.

“Not my fault yeh got knocked up and we had t’ push the wedding.”

“It is very much your fault, Harry,” Y/N swatted at his face, fingers first brushing his jawline that was covered in a rough stubble and then just barely tracing the full-blown mustache that sat like a caterpillar above his bright pink top lip.

Harry smirked down at her, nostrils flaring wide and lips disappearing inside of his mouth.

“How’s your rib?” Y/N asked suddenly.

“Good. Why?” Harry’s brows quickly furrowed together in confusion as to why she was asking about his injury.

“Might have to ride that later if you’ve got the lungs for it,” she tapped her index and middle fingers along her philtrum, right where Harry’s mustache sat on his own face.

Her blunt lewdness had Harry’s cock immediately growing stiff in his pants. It had been a while. His injury coupled with her being in the last trimester of her pregnancy had left them both feeling unsatisfied for the past several weeks. Maybe this babymoon would prove to be relaxing not only because Harry and Y/N get to spend a week without a rambunctious almost six-year-old screaming at all hours of the day, but for other reasons too.

“Think I’d actually drop dead from happiness if yeh sat on m’ face right now, lovie. But, before yeh get too comfortable with that idea, we need t’ head into town. Kitchen’s only got the necessities, and I doubt yeh want t’ eat homemade bread for a week.”

“I’m sure you’d love to eat homemade bread for a week,” Y/N jested, poking fun at Harry’s latest obsession with the carb-filled food.

“Remind me again why I put up with you?” Harry toyed as he extended his arms out towards Y/N to use as leverage to help her hoist herself up from the couch.

When she regains her balance, she lifts herself up just slightly to press a quick kiss to Harry’s lips that he happily accepts. Y/N hums and jokingly checks the imaginary watch that sits on her wrist.

“How much time do you have? That list is pretty long.”

//

The trip to one of the only supermarkets in the small part of Edinburgh that they were staying in had proved to be rather tiring, because Harry opted to use store-bought pasta instead of making his own - something he never does. Maybe it was his healing rib causing him to be short-winded, but he simply could not bring himself to hand-make the pasta they chose to have for dinner that night. He bitched about it all night, about how it wasn’t as chewy as it should be and how it would have tasted much better if he would have just made it himself, but it still didn’t deter him from helping himself to a second serving.

He claimed it was because while he did use pre-cooked pasta, he didn’t use sauce from a jar and made his own from fresh tomatoes and that was the appeal. Y/N just thinks Harry likes to complain and listen to himself talk.

After dinner, just as the sun was setting and Harry and Y/N were waiting for their pasta to digest before they dove into the box of fresh pastries from a bakery they found along the way, they decided to take a walk around the property. The renovated, stone cottage that was overgrown with vines and leaves sat along a short cliffside that overlooked the North Sea. It was a short walk down the cliff that brought them to the beach, where mist from the ocean whisped around their legs and ankles like a thin veil of smoke. While it was the middle of summer, Scotland’s persistent rain showers and their proximity to the water never made it too hot to bear.

“Lulah would love it out here. We’ll have to bring her when the baby’s older.”

“She realIy would,” Harry agreed as he wrapped his sweater further around his chest.

“Know yeh didn’t give birth t’ her, but I swear you two are just alike sometimes. Absolutely hates bein’ hot and gettin’ sweaty just like you.”

Y/N smiled softly and knowingly at Harry before reaching into the pocket of the patchwork sweater of Harry’s that she’d stolen for their stroll on the beach for her phone.

“I’m gonna call her.”

She picked up on the third ring, Y/N’s phone screen then illuminated with a live image of a gap-toothed Tallulah. Well, it’s Mitch’s phone, but she’d been waiting for this promised FaceTime call all day so of course she’s quick to answer.

“Mummy!”

Both Y/N’s and Harry’s heart swelled in their chest when they heard Tallulah speak. It had been several months since she’d decided to start referring to Y/N as her mother, but neither of them had grown used to it just yet. Y/N felt a sense of achievement in “earning” the title of being Tallulah’s mum after all of the years she’d spent with her, and Harry felt a sense of resolution. His family was a real family now, and not just a patchwork of awkward relationships and trust issues. Y/N was Tallulah’s mum and she was now seven months pregnant with their own child and they’d be married by the end of next year. He was actually there to see his child grow this time, they weren’t a secret kept from him out of spite. He’d be there for all of it, even the gross and bloody and goopy bits. And he’d never felt more complete.

“Hi, baby,” Y/N beamed from ear to ear.

“What are you doing?”

“We’re walking on the beach,” Y/N answered.

“Want to see it?”

The five-year-old (five and three-quarters if you asked Tallulah herself) nodded quickly, and Y/N then flipped the camera around to show her the view of the water. Y/N pointed out their cottage from where they stood in the sand, turning the camera to Harry briefly as he held up a peace sign so Tallulah could see that her dad was also on the beach with her. She told her all about the train ride there and how Harry almost slipped and broke his face when was carrying his and Y/N’s luggage into the cottage.

Harry listened to his two little loves talk back and forth with the biggest smile on his face as he absent-mindedly scoured the beach for rocks he could skip along the water. He noticed whenever Tallulah said something that Y/N thought was funny, she had to cup her bump with her hand and forearm to keep it from shaking her entire body. She told him she hated laughing now, because it made her look like Santa Claus, but Harry thought she couldn’t look more beautiful.

“That’s so pretty! Can we all go when the baby is here?” Tallulah asked, puckering into a pout as she begged.

“I think that’s a great idea, Lulah. We were just talking about that, weren’t we, Harry?”

Harry perked up from where he had been washing a sandy shell off in the ocean and suddenly appeared in view of the camera and took the phone from Y/N. 

“Hmm?” he asked as he studied Tallulah’s appearance.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Mitch to watch his baby girl while he went away for a week with his other baby girl, it was that him and Sarah voluntarily asked to babysit Tallulah and that’s what made him so apprehensive to accept their offer. There wasn’t anything out of the ordinary about a sleepover at Uncle Mitch and Aunt Sarah’s every now and then, but to want to watch his daughter for an entire week certainly was. Harry felt like Mitch was plotting against him and that he’d come back to Tallulah with bright blue hair and bangs or she’d be sporting the world’s worst potty mouth when she came home, but so far that didn’t seem to be the case. 

She was wearing Harry’s “Dream Boat” shirt that she’d claimed as her own a few years back when Y/N had taught her to wear her father’s clothes when she missed him because the smell would remind her of him (he had to steal it back and sleep in it a few times every now and then to keep his scent on it), and her long, brown hair was damp and neatly braided into two plaits and hanging off her shoulders. That had to have been Sarah’s doing, because Harry knew Mitch could barely put his own hair into a ponytail without creating several lumps and redoing it eighteen times before it looked presentable - meaning he certainly wouldn’t have been able to make a five-year-old sit still long enough to braid her hair perfectly. 

She looked fine, though. Happy, healthy, certainly didn’t have blue hair or bangs and hadn’t said a single naughty thing since she’d been on the phone with Y/N.

“Lulah wants us to come back here after the baby’s born and take her with us,” Y/N beamed.

“I think we can work that out. Sounds quite lovely, actually,” Harry concurred.

“Yeh bein’ good for Mitch and Sarah?”

“Mhmm,” Tallulah nodded.

“We had pizza for dinner.”

“That sounds yummy,” Harry enthused, trying to let his daughter know he had his full attention.

“It was bery good,” she sighed.

There was a long pause before Tallulah blurted out suddenly in the most serious tone, “When are you gonna shave the rest of your mustache? Mitchy was making fun of you today.”

Harry was caught between a gasp and a laugh, which resulted in him choking on his own spit. Y/N turned on her heels in the sand to look at him with wide eyes. 

“You okay?” Y/N mouthed quietly to Harry, completely oblivious to everything that had happened in the last thirty seconds.

Harry nodded, wiping the involuntary tears from his eyes as he coughed himself back to life and regained his composure.

“What exactly did Uncle Mitch say about my mustache?” he prodded.

Tallulah shrugged, subconsciously wiggling her loose bottom tooth with her tongue.

“Don’t ‘member. Just that you look weird with it.”

“Well that’s not a very nice thing t’ say, is it?”

“Mummy said you look weird, too,” Tallulah spouted without hesitation.

Her comment left Y/N’s mouth agape, covering her smile with her palm as Harry’s raised eyebrows feigned offense in her direction.

“She did?” Harry asked sarcastically, narrowing his eyes at her.

“Yeah,” Tallulah sighed as if it was exhausting having to tell your own father that his facial hair looks off-putting.

“I think you should shave it, too. It’s scratchy when you kiss me goodnight.”

All Harry could offer in return was stunned laughter while Y/N hid her face in Harry’s peck. Her bump pressed lightly into his and even though he was pretending to be mad at her, he wouldn’t dare think about pushing her off of him - not while she was this warm and cozy against his chest. 

“Well, if mummy really hates it I suppose I’ll get rid of it. But,” Harry pauses and pulls Y/N out from where she had burrowed her face into his sweater.

“I think I might know a trick that’ll convince her t’ let me keep i-”

“Enough!” Y/N exclaimed, clamping both of her hands around Harry’s mouth.

Harry chuckled against her palm and poked his tongue through his lips to lick her fingers, which sent her hands flying back down to her leggings so she could wipe them dry.

“I swear to god, Harry. You’re five years old,” she joked with a disgusted expression on her face, to which Tallulah had something to say to that. 

“No, I’m five years old!”

The two adults laughed in unison.

“Alright, Lulah. We’re gonna go inside now. ‘S gettin’ kinda cold out,” Harry said.

“We’ll call you tomorrow before bed. Alright, lovebug?” Y/N added.

“Okay,” Tallulah huffed.

“We love you, Lulah,” Harry spoke softly into the microphone.

“Love you, too...Daddy wait!”

“What is it?” he asked.

“Give the baby kisses for me. And no bikes!”

Harry wanted to laugh, but he also wanted to cry, so he settled on a closed-mouthed smile that was enough to convince Tallulah that he was unbothered by what she said.

“Kisses for the baby and no bikes. Got it,” he nodded.

“Okay, I’m gonna go eat some sweets with Sarah!” the child yelled, suddenly energetic like she had temporarily forgotten that her and Sarah had baked cookies twenty minutes before Y/N called.

“Alright, but it’s almost bed time so not too m-!” was all Harry could answer to before his daughter ended the call and presumably raced to where ever Sarah was in their house. 

“‘S like she doesn’t even miss us,” Harry mumbled as he placed Y/N’s phone in his back pocket and began walking back up to the cottage with his arm wrapped around Y/N’s shoulder. 

Y/N hummed, basking in the warmth that radiated from Harry’s chest as he held her.

“They’re just buttering her up. She’ll be crying to leave by the time we get back.”

“Just don’t really know why they were so keen on keepin’ her t’ be honest.”

Harry positioned himself one step behind her as they walked up the stone steps together, keeping one hand on the small of her back. Y/N peered over her shoulder at him, her tight lips curling up into a smirk as if to say she knew something he didn’t.

“What?” Harry asked.

Y/N shrugged, “Promised I wouldn’t tell.”

Harry clearly didn’t like that answer, because he moved his hand that was supporting her waist and quickly pinched her bum.

“Tell me,” he demanded, eyebrows scrunched together and lips pursed together in what could be considered a childish pout that mimicked Tallulah’s.

Y/N sucked her lips into her mouth, contemplating whether or not she should spill the beans on the news Sarah had shared with her a few weeks prior.

“They’re gonna start trying for a baby soon,” she whispered as if were a long-kept secret told in a room full of nosey people despite the two of them being alone on the otherwise desolate beach.

Harry’s ears perked up, a wide smile adorning his face from ear to ear.

“No fucking way,” he mumbled, and suddenly all of Mitch’s incessant hammering of baby questions he’d sent Harry’s way in the past few months suddenly making a lot of sense.

Harry thought he was trying to be a good friend and stay engaged in Y/N’s pregnancy, but now he understands the real reason behind his behavior.

Y/N nodded deviously as they make their way into the living room of the cottage.

“They’ve been asking everyone they know with kids to let them come over just to see if they can handle it. I mean, if you ask me, I think they’ll do great. Nothing wrong with trying it before buying it, I guess,” she said with a shrug.

“God, he’s gonna be such a good dad,” Harry was practically beaming for his closest friend.

“I know,” Y/N agreed, walking over to Harry to hold both sides of his head in her hands as if he was a disobedient puppy being disciplined.

Her bump prevented her from getting too close to Harry’s chest, the roundest part of her belly nudging Harry’s tummy.

“They’re both very excited. Which is why, when he finally decides to tell you, you have to act surprised. Act like he told you you just won the lottery or something. Alright?”

Harry sarcastically changed his facial expression to mock bewilderment. His eyebrows rose well off into his forehead and his jaw nearly dropped to the floor as he gasped.

“How’s that? Think he’ll buy it?”

Y/N jokingly jabbed him in the shoulder.

“Smartass. I’m going to take a shower. I’m sticky and I smell like the ocean.”

“Guess I gotta keep workin’ on it, then.”

When he’s done cleaning up what was left of their dinner, he heads to the master bedroom with the intention of washing up in the shower after Y/N. He’s messing around with the A/C unit on the window to make sure it’s not set to a temperature that will smother them in their sleep and unpacking their luggage into the wooden dresser, where an antique turntable rests.

Stacked long the side of the record player, there was a handful of old vinyl, most of which Harry either recognized or new very well. He was actually shocked to find a Shuggie Otis album in the collection, to which he quickly slipped the record out of the worn sleeve and set the needle to the edge and waited for the soft sound to fill the room while he worked. 

“That thing works?” Y/N’s voice broke up the old 70s tune as she exited the bathroom with her hair tied up with one of Harry’s scrunchies that she stole out of his toiletry bag, wrapped in only a towel that barely fit around her form.

“I know,” Harry agreed, “Needs a new needle but other than that ‘s in pretty good shape.”

“Leave it to you to find a rental with 70s records in the bedroom,” there was a lighthearted tone in her voice as Y/N poked fun at him.

She padded over to her luggage in the corner of the room for a change of clothes, only to realize Harry had unpacked it all for them. As she’s rummaging through the drawers trying to figure out where Harry had put what, she lets her towel drop to the floor freely.

Harry doesn’t know how must time has passed, but he knows he’s staring. He’s staring at the water droplets that drip from the stray hairs on the nape of her neck and run down her bare back. He’s staring at the swell of her stomach where their baby lies, at the faded, almost-shiny stretch marks on the sides and the newer, darker ones on the underside that had only recently broken through. He’s staring at the bracelet on her wrist, the one that’s braided pink and blue with three beads on it - one ‘H’, one ‘T’ and one heart. Tallulah made it for her at school one day and told her the heart was for the baby and also because she loved her. It was hanging on by its last few threads, threatening to snap as each day passed, but she refused to take it off.

All he does know is that he loves her so much that he thinks none of this is real and that he’ll wake up one day and be in his early twenties again with no direction in life and the insidious feeling that he’ll die alone without ever finding his “person.” It’s when Y/N called out to him and snapped him out of his thoughts that he’s realized his underwear are suddenly feeling incredibly tight.

“Har,” Y/N beckoned him away from whatever had been occupying his brain.

“Hmm?” 

He resituated himself on the bed and crossed his legs in an attempt to hide himself from her.

“I said the hot water in there’s kinda shit, so you’ll probably want to wait a little bit before you get in.”

“‘S alright,” Harry dismisses, “Come ‘ere.”

He draws her towards him with an outstretched hand, navigating her around the bedpost and over to the side where he had been sitting. With the gentlest of touches, he runs his fingers over her bare legs. The coolness of his rings don’t make well with her skin that was still extremely warm from her shower, causing hundreds of tiny goosebumps to erupt around her thighs. Harry raises her shirt, one of his that she stole when her own clothes became too uncomfortable, but even now she’s nearly stretching this one to its limit, and rests it on top of her bump.

She doesn’t question him, doesn’t chastise him. She lets him love on her, lets him press kisses to her skin just above her belly button (making sure to give an extra one from Tallulah per her request) and rest his cheek against her stomach while his other hand feels around on the other side in hopes to feel the baby move or kick or do something to let him know that they’re there. Lucky for Harry, baby knows when their dad is around and is quick to make themselves known, so he takes a second to savor these last few moment he’ll have with his newest bub before they’re earth-side in a little less than two months.

Y/N lets him be because she knows how important this is to Harry. She knows that he never got these moments with Tallulah and that it’s one of the things that plagued him during those nights where he feels lonely despite her being asleep right next to him. He never got to feel her kick in her mum’s tummy and he didn’t get to see her grow from the size of a pea to the size of a melon before she was welcomed by her parents and the rest of her family that had been waiting anxiously for her arrival. 

No, Tallulah was dropped on his doorstep like a wet kitten in the middle of the night. Shivering and crying and just needing someone to hold her and tell her that it was going to be alright because her mother had decided she’d be better off elsewhere. Of course, she was too small to remember, but Harry could never forget it.

So, it’s the least she can do. To let Harry love on her. Love on them.

Her eyes catch his once or twice and she can see the gears in his head turning. There’s something on his mind and he’s hesitant to tell her what it is. Y/N lifts his head by tilting his chin up, her index finger brushing over the healed scar on the underside of his jaw from a few months prior.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” she whispered.

Harry shakes his head, a grin on his lips.

“‘M just really, really happy right now. Happy tha’ I’m here w’ you.”

Y/N smiles back at him genuinely before pulling away from his grasp and gesturing to his lap.

“And I’m happy that I’m here with you. Seems like your little friend is really happy, too.”

A soft groan emits from Harry chest, having realized he’d uncrossed his legs at some point and his very prominent bulge had come into Y/N’s view.

“Sorry, lovie. Didn’t mean t’ make it like tha-”

“I’m just messing with you. You know,” she ponders, “I was half-way kidding when I asked about your lungs earlier. But... This will be the last time we’re kid-free for a while,” she taunted.

“Are yeh asking?” Harry jests and points his thumb towards the bathroom door, “‘Cos I was actually plannin’ on just having a wank in the shower.”

“Oh, okay,” Y/N shrugs and moves his hands off of her waist as she pretends to walk towards the living room.

Before she can take two steps, Harry’s standing up and pulling her back into him for a kiss. It’s full of heat and passion and almost knocks Y/N off of her feet. He cradles her head in his large hands and moves to whisper in her ear.

“Really gonna let me fuck yeh?”

A quiet chuckle escapes her lips, to which she replies, “What else did you think we were gonna do all week?”

He’s unable to bite back his own laugh, and it’s the sweetest sound to ever grace Y/N’s ears.

“Then get on the bed and take yeh clothes off.”

They work quickly, as they’ve conditioned themselves to do over the years of squeezing in any time they can together before they’re interrupted. Y/N lies back on her elbows as she waits for Harry to undo his pants and her breath catches in her throat when his boxers hit the floor. 

His cock is hard, not fully, but the sight of the first few beads of glistening precum causes a shiver to run down her spine. She’s blown him a handful of times since he’s been in recovery, but she’s been far too pregnant and he’s been far too injured lately to engage in any kind of actual fun. It’s safe to say that they’re both more than ready. 

Harry scratches at his scalp, unsure of how to word his questions as he looks her body up and down.

“How do you...erm...how do you wanna-?”

“My stomach, please,” Y/N says with a laugh.

She quickly reaches for one of the pillows behind her and gets on all fours, wedging the object underneath her bump to keep some of the weight off of her back. Slowly, she arches her spine down towards the mattress, and the glimpse Harry catches of her pussy through the light of the setting sun is enough to send another jolt straight to his cock.

Harry wastes no time joining her on the bed, caressing her hips and moving back to massage the plump skin of her ass. He leans down on top of her, flips her hair over to one side, and begins sucking on the sensitive skin between her neck and jaw.

“Gonna let me taste yeh first, right?” he mumbles into her skin.

Y/N hums in response, attempting to rock backwards in order to feel Harry’s cock rub against her backside. She hears Harry laugh, presumably because he’s caught on to her neediness, so it only pushes him further to be the tease he’s notorious for being.

He sponges wet kisses down her back, getting a rise out of every audible breath that leaves Y/N’s throat.

“Relax, baby,” Harry says when he feels her growing tenser as his kisses travel closer to where she needs him the most.

“Gonna get yeh there. Just gotta be patient.”

Harry presses one last kiss on the final notch of her spine before using one of his hands to spread her legs open just a little bit further. When he parts the globes of her ass, his mouth waters. Her pussy is shimmering with her arousal, perfect and on display just for him. 

He tests the waters by running the tip of his tongue from her clit up to her center and he hears a sigh of relief leave Y/N’s lungs at the contact. Next, he’s massaging her folds, exploring her and refamiliarizing himself with the way she tasted. Harry feels her relax into the mattress with each lap of his tongue against her, silently begging him for more. His tentativeness allows him to read her body language and he draws back momentarily to spread her lips apart with his middle and index finger.

The cool air against her core stuns Y/N, but is quickly drowned out with a moan when she feels Harry’s warm saliva drip from her ass down to her clit. His mouth is back on her before she can recover from the sensation, lapping her up and flicking at her clit with his tongue and driving her mad. He’s got his nose buried inside of her as he devours her in the way that he’s really been yearning to for months (he doesn’t count the late night or early morning quickies because he claims he never gets to spend as much time taking care of her as he really wants to). The scruff from his mustache is staunch against her soft folds, but Harry’s tongue is quick to soothe the burn and she loves it.

He smirks against her as she lets out a particularly loud moan when his facial hair brushes against her clit. What was that about shaving my mustache? he thinks to himself but does not dare say aloud.

When he senses that she needs even more, his fingers move from spreading her apart to pressing against her opening. Gathering her wetness on his digits, he slowly pumps them in and out of her. Y/N’s mewls and whimpers are like music to his ears and only spurs him on further. He ruts his hips against the comforter, anything to relieve the throbbing between his legs that is a result of how pliable she’s become for him. She’s soaking the rings on his fingers in the most picture-perfect way and Harry truly genuinely can’t get enough of it; and neither can she. Which is why he’s confused when one of her hands swings around her backside to stop Harry from working her open.

“Har-” she pants.

He withdrawals all contact immediately and peaks his head around to look at her face.

“Yeh good?” he asks as she’s stands up on her knees and turns around to face him.

“‘M great. Wanna be on top now,” she says, her lips plump and swollen from biting down on them so harshly that she nearly drew blood.

“You sure? Yeh don’t want me t’ finish yeh first?”

His eyes dart from her lust-blown eyes to her round belly.

“Mhm. Now lay your pretty ass down before I change my mind.”

She doesn’t have to tell him twice and he’s rolling over on his back, working his way to prop himself up against the headboard. His cock is red and leaking against his stomach, excruciatingly waiting to be buried inside of his girl. He wonders why she’s staring at him with an annoyed expression on her face, but then she speaks up.

“Do you see how pregnant I am? Gonna have to lay all the way down, shit head.”

He does as he’s told and he’s honestly scared that he’ll cum in five seconds if she doesn’t get on with it. 

“I swear to god, if you laugh at me,” she grunts as she straddles his waist, “I’ll cut it off.”

“‘M not gonna lau-”

It’s his turn to moan aloud when she grips onto his cock, running it across her folds to collect as much wetness as she can before she allows him to stretch her out. He’s focusing so much on not losing it right then and there that he doesn’t realize she’s stopped and is waiting for the go-ahead. Through his dark, thick lashes, he nods; as if she would have to ask.

Harry reaches for her hands as she lowers herself onto him, the two of them squeezing a bit too harshly when she reaches the last few inches. The burn consumes Y/N from the inside and out, but it’s never felt so right to either of them. 

She’s not moving just yet, but her cunt is pulsing around him and it feels almost as good as the real thing. They’re staring at each other, both with looks that relay more than words.

“Love you,” Harry’s face softens as he looks up at her.

“Love you, too,” Y/N smiles as she leans down as far as she can in search of a kiss.

He meets her in the middle and their lips find one another and mash together in harmony. The rocking of their hips reminds both of them what they’re actually doing, and causes both of them to gasp at the way Y/N pumped Harry half-way in and out of her. 

When she’s settled back down on the base of his cock, she begins slowly rutting herself back and forth. It takes her just a little bit longer than usual to work up a steady rhythm, but when she’s got it, boy does she got it and it feels so fucking good. The tip of Harry’s cock is pressing against the deepest parts of her and before she knows it, there’s a warm coil winding up in her tummy that bounds itself tighter and tighter inside of her.

She needs to go faster and she needs to go faster now, so she braces her hands on Harry’s chest as she continues to fuck herself on Harry’s cock. Harry lets out a sound that she can’t tell apart between a groan of pleasure and one of pain. His hands dart quickly from where they’d been gripping at her thighs to grip at her wrists.

“Can’t do tha’, lovie. Not the ribs.”

“Shit,” she laughs, subconsciously clenching down on his shaft in the process.

“Sorry.”

“‘S okay,” Harry reassures her as he repositions her hands on his shoulders so she can still have something to grab on to.

“Keep going.” 

Her bump is now cradled against Harry’s stomach and it allows her to find relief in the way that her clit is brushing against the trimmed nest of hair that lies around the base of his thick, throbbing cock. He’s twitching inside of her so much that she can feel it alongside her thrusts as they continue. They both won’t last much longer and they know it. 

“‘M getting close.”

“I know,” Harry pants beneath her.

She switches positions, now with her fingers digging so hard into the meat of Harry’s thighs that her knuckles are changing color. She’s able to lift her hips up and down a bit more from this angle, and it allows Harry’s cock to nudge against her sweet spot.

“Feels so good, H,” she whimpers so quietly that almost Harry couldn’t even hear it.

“‘S that it? Right there?” he mocks as he works at meeting her thrusts with his own.

The best he gets from Y/N is a nod as she focuses the best she can on getting herself there. She’s coating him with her juices with each pump and with one glance down at where they’re joined together nearly shoots Harry over the edge.

“Yeh gonna cum f’ me?” Harry asks as his thumb reaches under her to begin rubbing circles on her clit.

“Gonna give me a good one?”

His movements coupled with his words catalyze the tightness within her, threatening to snap at any moment. She’s definitely sweaty and tired of being on top, but she’s so close now that she wills away the pain in her lower back and thighs.

“Come on, bunny. Give it to me.”

He works with that he can and makes sure he’s slamming into her as deep as he can, speeding up the pace he’s making with her clit in the process. 

She cums with a strangled, “Fuck,” and a shrill cry of his name, and that’s all he needs to meet his end as well. The world is black and quiet for the two of them for just a brief moment, and then they’re both seeing all of the stars in the galaxy.

Her walls are coated with the warm ropes of his seed and spills out of her as she milks him, coaxing all she can out of both hers and Harry’s orgasms. Y/N can feel the last few twitches of Harry’s cock inside of her and her movements slow to a stop. 

His cum is splashed along her inner thighs and around Harry’s shaft, and they’re both struggling to catch their breath. Y/N feels sorry for him for a brief second when she sees him clutching onto the left side of his ribs, but then she remembers the situation that put him there in the first place and great incredible fuck she just gave him and so she decides not to dwell on it too much. 

Serves him right.

She collapses on the bed beside him, the two of them staring idly at the ceiling. It’s nearly dark now, the sun having set long ago and only their silhouettes are visible in the moonlight. Harry reaches over to pet her cheek and press a kiss into her hair as their breathing slowly but surely evens out and they come to.

They’re both too tired and fucked out to have a lucid conversation, so they’ll save that for tomorrow. No. Right now was for cuddles and falling asleep to the sounds of each other’s soft breaths and the peace of mind knowing that they can do this every single night for the rest of their lives if they wanted to because they’re getting married and they have a family together and they’re so in love with each other that nothing else matters.

When Y/N finally manages to muster up the energy to lift herself from the mattress and waddle to the bathroom, Harry breaks the silence.

“Hey,” his voice is calm and collected and there’s a smirk on his face.

“Hmm?” she answers as she cranes her neck and braces herself on the door frame of the master bathroom.

Her other hand is caressing her bump, a tick that she’d picked up over the months whenever she wasn’t doing anything important.

“Sit on m’ face in the morning?”

There’s that laugh again. The one that Harry loves and swears came straight from the angels above.

“With pleasure,” she winks as the door closes behind her.

[childishfluff]

The Feeling Of Family- A MCYT Agere/CGLRE fic (Regressors!SBI+Tubbo and Ranboo, Carer!Philza)

There was a very specific feeling that came to Ranboo when he met up with his internet friends. A weirdly comforting feeling, a reassurance that he had finally found his people.

It came to him with every hug from Tubbo, every teasing ruffle of his hair from Techno, every inappropriate joke he shared with Tommy. It clouded his mind every time he regressed with them, too, he didn't quite know how to describe it. But if he had to put a name to this odd emotion, he'd call it 'the feeling of family'.

A/N: get ready for a looooong ride. This was written over the course of two days, I really hope you guys like it! I haven't dropped a fic thats over 4000 words in a bit, I think. This is inspired loosely by Cypherr's (on ao3!!) fic 'four's a family', that's where I got the idea of Phil just being overwhelmed because there's so many babies to deal w/, so I'm crediting them! Though, this fic is much different then their's, but also please go read their fics they're great- anyways, I hope you enjoy! This fic is kinda (?) in Ranboo's pov (third person but like,,,you see his thoughts), but there's so much going on that it kinda feels like it's jumping around? Sorry for that, I'm used to writing w/a 2 littles max per caregiver ratio, so this was different. I've also never written Phil as a caregiver before besides his brief appearance over in my 'Mister Nook' series. okay I'm done rambling,,,enjoy the fic please!

--

There was a very specific feeling that came to him when he met up with his friends. A weirdly comforting feeling, a reassurance that he had finally found his people.

In an internet dad, a fellow faceless streamer who used a pig as his icon, a song writer, a bee-loving teenager, and another who was known for wearing red and white. He felt just a bit out of place in this dynamic, SBI were the ones that were close. SBI plus Tubbo wasn't an odd pairing either, and it almost seemed as if Ranboo was only there because Tubbo was.

But that doubt seemed to wash away with the welcoming energy that the car ride to Phil and Kristin's home was filled to the very brim with. Tommy and Wilbur arguing like brothers while Ranboo and Tubbo joked about. The half-joking stern look that Phil gave him through the rear view mirror when he made an inappropriate joke. The soft feeling that Techno teasingly ruffling his hair left in his chest.

This group felt like family.

Of course, he had a perfectly good set of parents back home, but this was different. In a good way, though. This home wasn't his, it was Phil's, but he was surprisingly comfortable here. He was comfortable with his close friends.

"Breakfast is ready!"

He jolted awake with a slight shock when he heard knocking and shouting outside of the door of the room he was staying in, the noise startling him from his sleep. He rubbed at his eyes and stretched his arms above his head as the sleepiness started fading from his mind, clocking the voice as Tommy's as he processed his surroundings. It was his second day at the Philza Minecraft's, the first being made up of mostly content creation.

They had all been shown to their respective guest rooms late last night after quite a few movies and a half-asleep conversation full of laughing and heartfelt emotions. Today was supposed to be a chill day, and the next they'd be exploring the area just around Phil and Kristen's home. It was Ranboo's second time in the UK, and just like last time, he wanted to explore and get a feel for the place he'd be temporarily living in.

He fished some clothes out of his suitcase, pulling them on and discarding his pajamas in a white laundry hamper he had been given for that exact purpose. Then, he sat on the bed, pulling out his phone and scrolling through it. He chuckled as he saw a picture of their entire group with a fan they had run into the day prior, just after he was picked up from the airport, remembering how many similar ones had been taken during his last meet up.

He thought back to the months he spent at Tubbo's house just a while ago, it was one of the funnest parts of his life if he was honest, and now he was right back in the UK for another long meet up. This one was supposed to be a month, at least. SBI and the Bee Duo all under one roof for an entire month! Twitter had freaked out completely when they heard of this arrangement.

During his last trip to the UK, he found out something interesting after revealing something about himself to Tubbo. He admitted to his habit of age regressing to his friend during a late night conversation, only to be met with a 'me too' and then being asked if he wanted to call some friends. This response had confused him, but he said agreed, figuring that there had to be some logic to this.

And after an hour long conversation with Techno, Tommy, Wilbur, and Phil, he learned about an ongoing secret dynamic between the group. Tommy, Tubbo, Phil, and Wilbur were all also regressors. This was a lot of information to process at around 6 am during an all-nighter, but he was glad to know he wasn't alone.

Almost immediately after finding out about his headspace, Phil insisted on taking care of him, messaging him more often and helping him regress over video calls. And over the process of a few weeks, Ranboo had been officially added to the group of littles Phil cared for regularly.

The man took the time to learn his headspace range, things that upset him, how to deal with him when he did misbehave (though the occasion was rare, especially compared to someone like Little Tommy), all in the name of making sure he was cared for. It was sweet, really, and sometimes the boy felt bad for all the man did for him.

He pushed these thoughts away as he heard his name called by his father figure from the kitchen. He groaned, exiting off of Twitter and making his way out of the room and down the hallway, through the living room and into the kitchen. "I'm coming, I'm coming," he mumbled, still tired. He took his seat between Tommy and Tubbo after entering the kitchen/dining area and was quite overwhelmed with the amount of greetings and 'good morning!'s' he got all at once.

"How'd you sleep, hun?" he smiled when he heard Kristin's voice, humming a bit, settling on responding to her instead of facing the rest of the ongoing chaos in the kitchen.

"Pretty good, I think. Still waking up, though," he admitted. He watched the woman bring a plate over to him, setting a stack of pancakes in front of him. "Thank you."

Before she got the chance to respond, Tommy was shouting all to loud for how early it was in the morning. He sounded whiny, too. "Why does he get his first? I was awake before him," he complained, earning a response from Wilbur as he entered the room, his obviously messy hair temporarily contained by a beanie.

"Maybe because he's not throwing a fit over everything like you are," He made his way over to the table as Phil shot the both of them a look. Ranboo minded his own business, digging into his food, he knew that he wasn't in trouble. The brown haired man sat next to Tommy, leaning back in his seat casually.

"Will, be nicer to your brother. And Tommy, be patient, or else both of you will be put in timeout the moment we finish eating." he threatened, half joking.

"What?" Tommy said, sounding shocked as his eyes went wide.

"I second that, none of us are little!" Tubbo finally spoke up after laughing at the situation the whole time.

"Tom-tom here is sure acting like a baby, though," Wilbur teased, sitting back up to ruffle the blond's hair, continuing even when the younger whined and attempted to shove his hand away. He only retracted it when Phil gave him another stern look.

"Stop teasing him and eat your food," he told him as Kristin brought over plates for Tommy and Wilbur. "Where's Techno?" Phil seemed like he wanted to continue talking to Wilbur, but was distracted when he noticed that someone was missing. Wilbur smirked, sticking his tongue out to Tommy, as if bragging about being let off the hook.

Even Ranboo could admit, even out of headspace, everyone seemed to fill their roles in the family dynamic well. Wilbur was the cocky middle brother who somehow simultaneously gets in the most trouble and gets away with everything, Techno is the oldest who's mostly calm but will join in on the antics when it seems fun, and Tommy's the youngest who will play the 'innocent' card at any chance he could get.

Ranboo and Tubbo's exact roles were a bit undecided, but they seemed to consist of a lot of watching the scene play out and somehow getting dragged into an argument they had nothing to do with. Phil acted as their dad, who kept peace between everyone and tried to keep things calm, while Kristen played the role of a sweet mother-type figure.

When they were little, it was a bit different, but the general feeling of family remained the same.

After a few chaotic minutes of gathering everyone up and calming everyone down, they were all sitting around the table and talking in a much more civil manner. Things got loud once again only a few minutes later when Tommy knocked over his cup of orange juice.

"Sorry!" he squeaked, "I didn't mean to!" he defended, looking up at Phil apologetically. He immediately seemed much younger, a light pout on his lips as he apologized for his clumsiness.

"It's alright, Toms." the man assured, flashing a soft smile to let the regressor know that he was alright, reaching for the paper towels across the table. In just a few moments it was like there was never a spill in the first place. "Can you get him a sippy cup, please?" he asked Kristin, who immediately set off to get the requested item.

"I told you he was a baby," Wilbur spoke up next, predictably earning protests from the clearly regressing boy next to him.

"I'm not a baby!" the younger cried, looking to his other  "Techno, tell him I'm not a baby!"

"I mean, only babies need sippy cups," the other man leaned a bit closer the table, his words causing the teenager's eyes to widen.

"Can't Kristin just refill dis one?" he questioned, holding up the cup he had knocked over and looking to Phil hopefully.

"Sorry, buddy, I just don't want you to make another mess." Phil sighed, shooting a disappointed look towards Wilbur and Techno. Ranboo sunk further into his seat, trying to avoid getting pulled into the conflict. He wasn't sure how the others could handle Phil's 'disappointed look' so easily, the boy was very much scared of it.

"I'm not gonna!" Tommy whined, practically glaring at the cup that was set in front of him a moment later. He huffed and crossed his arms, refusing to drink or eat anything.

"This is what happens when you make fun of him, he gets all insecure and stubborn," Tubbo groaned, rolling his eyes as if they had been through this process a million times over.

"Tubbo's right, apologize to him," the oldest man ordered. Wilbur and Techno looked at him as if this suggestion was completely outrageous, so he added, "Now."

"Okay, okay!" Wilbur gave in, sounding defensive, "I'm sorry, Toms. You're not a baby."

"Really?" he lowered his arms, finally uncrossing them.

"No, you're just clumsy and we're sorry for making fun of you for it," Techno sounded very reluctant, but he followed Phil's orders. After these apologies, the rest of breakfast went fairly smoothly. By the end of it, Tommy was very obviously fully regressed and making a useless attempt to hide it.

It was a fairly often occurrence that Tommy slipped just for fun, acting and being treated like a kid was something he just liked. He got to be the annoying little brother and watch cartoons while he did it, it was a win-win across the board.

But Phil and Kristin knew, that whenever one of them slipped over their voice chats, anyone else in the discord call would too. And now, they were all actually together under one roof, so he was sure he'd have five littles to deal with by noon at latest.

--

As predicted, all of the boys ended up in littlespace, slipping one after another like a line of dominoes getting knocked over. After some reassurance from Phil, Tommy allowed himself to slip, and he dragged his best friend into a game of pretend. And the two toddler minded teenagers decided they wanted to play with Techno and Ranboo as well, and Wilbur soon followed when Phil babied him a bit to much.

At first, it was quite loud, and there was a lot of conflict and disagreements between the boys. Eventually, after everyone but Ranboo had managed to get in some sort of trouble, Phil sat the boys down to watch cartoons. Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur were out like a light one episode in. Wilbur was in babyspace, he always needed extra sleep, and Tommy tired himself out by crying when he assumed Phil was upset with him.

Tubbo, however, was just tired. No excuse, that's just how he was sometimes.

Ranboo and Techno were older then the rest of them, and far more behaved, so they didn't get quite as much attention earlier in the day. Phil was quite busy comforting Wilbur and trying to keep Tommy and Tubbo in check, and it didn't help that Kristin had to leave the house. To make up for this, Phil wanted to do something special with them while the other three took their mid-day naps.

After a while of Ranboo and Techno watching cartoons, trying to stay quiet so that their friends could sleep peacefully, Phil spoke up.

"Boys, quietly follow me," he whispered, managing to get out from under from where Wilbur was laying cuddling up to him without waking the boy up. Techno and Ranboo glanced at each other, seemingly confused but intrigued. They scrambled to get up, following their caregiver into the kitchen.

"What are we doin', dada?" Techno questioned once they entered the other room. They had left the cartoons on, so Phil was fairly sure they wouldn't be able to hear what was going on in the kitchen.

"You guys are gonna be my little helpers for snack time, okay? I got some special treats and such for everyone and we need to put everything together before everyone gets up!" the man explained in a quiet but excited tone, speaking even quieter as if his next words were a secret, "And if you guys do a good job, I'll even give you an extra cookie."

Ranboo's face immediately lit up, and he bounced on his feet as he awaited more instructions. Phil specifically chose him and Techno out of all of them, they must be special. It was like a super secret mission, just for them!

"So we're all gonna have fruit and vegetables before we get to the sweets," he continued on, going over the fridge and pulling out various fruits and vegetables, "Techno, could you wash the strawberries and blueberries for me?" he asked.

"Mhm!" he agreed, excited to be able to help. It seem weird that Phil's idea of "something special" was just putting them to work, it was more about the idea of making them feel special. They were more well behaved then everyone else, so they got extra time with Phil and a cookie.  

"What do I get to do?" Ranboo questioned. He watched as Technoblade took the containers with the fruit he was told to wash over to the sink.

"Are you big enough to pour drinks for everyone?" he questioned, pulling various new sippycups and bottles from a hidden spot in one of the cabinets. The two littles gasped, completely distracted from their tasks, "Yes, some of these are for you two." he chuckled at their excitement, coming over to Ranboo and holding out a simple but cute black and white sippy cup.

"I thought maybe you could put stickers on it," Phil explained. The boy nodded quickly, practically attacking him in a hug. "Okay, go on, get to work now." he said, motioning over to the counter where the rest of them sat.

As requested, they got to work. Techno helped wash the fruit and put then on their plates, while Ranboo filled the sippy cups and bottles with whatever drink each one of them liked best. His demise came when he tried to sneak soda into his sippy cup without asking, and he managed to spill it all over the counter.

"Uh oh! Spill on aisle Ranboo!" Phil joked, grabbing the paper towels and running over to help. Immediately, the boy panicked. He was the well behaved one, and Phil was gonna find out that he was trying to be sneaky! His guilt was obviously clear to the caregiver, because the next thing he said was, "Don't worry, accidents happen."

The gentle and reassuring tone he used only made him feel worse. It only took the man a moment to actually realize what the boy had been pouring into the cup. "Ranboooo," the caregiver held out his words, sounding disappointed, "You know that you could've asked for soda if you really wanted it, right? You've been so good all day, I would've given it to you."

"Really?" he asked, pouting when the man took the cup and dumped the liquid in the sink. He then ripped paper towels from the roll and wiped up the remainder of the drink from the counter.

"Yeah, I would've," Phil affirmed, "But trying to sneak around me isn't okay. You told me you were putting juice in here. That's lying, and I know for a fact that you're big enough to know that's not allowed. " he tsked, causing Ranboo to look down at his feet.

"M' sorry," he mumbled, ready to cry over such a small thing. He knew what he was doing was dumb, Phil rarely let them have sweets like that when they were small due to the fact that they got hyper.

"Don't cry, sweetheart, you're not in trouble," the man assured with a sigh, softening his tone immediately, rinsing the cup out as he spoke. Ranboo still felt bad, despite the gentle reassurance. He glanced up to see the man filling his cup with his favorite drink besides the over sugary soda: strawberry lemonade. "Here you go." he tightened the lid onto it and held it out for him.

"Sorry, dada," he apologized again, his eyes still glassy as he took it in his hands. Phil sighed a bit, opening his arms and pulling him close.

"You're okay, buddy, I promise you." he spoke gently, "Little boys make mistakes sometimes, it's alright." The man knew that while Ranboo might've been regressed to an older age, he was still quite sensitive, and he always felt overly bad whenever he got in trouble. Even if he had managed to get away with sneaking the soda, he would've owned up to what he did guiltily after just a few sips of the drink.

That's just how he was.

"M' all done!" Techno's voice interrupted them as he finished placing the snack-filled plates in their spot at the table, besides their respective sippy cups. Phil pulled away from the other regressor and ruffled his hair, smiling at him before addressing the other little.

"Good job, honey. You're such a good helper," he complimented, before looking back to Ranboo. "And so are you." he reminded. Ranboo giggled a bit, feeling happiness well up in his chest at the praise despite any childish guilt. The giggles only increased when his caregiver tapped the button of his nose, causing him to scrunch it up.

Once he was sure that Ranboo was alright, or at least doing a bit better, he gave them their next instructions. One good thing about Ranboo was that it was easy to sway his emotions to the more positive end if it was done before any tears came. "Take your seats and eat, I'm gonna wake up your brothers and have them pick up their toys from earlier, then they'll join you." he told them, before leaving the room.

Technoblade's eyes followed Phil as he exited the room, and he waited until he was sure he was out of earshot to say anything. "Psst, 'anboo," Techno leaned close to the table, grabbing the other boy's attention.

"Wha'?" he questioned, popping a grape in his mouth and tilting his head in curiousity.

"We should scare daddy when he comes back in! It'll be so cool," he suggested, "We can wait by the door and jump out!"

"Hmm...," Ranboo looked over to where the other pointed, considering his options, "We 'posed to be eatin'." he pointed out, shaking his head.

"We won' get in trouble, it's just playin' round," he tried to sound convincing. It seemed to work, because Ranboo reconsidered, before hesitantly nodding. He grabbed one more grape and his sippy cup before standing up, Techno leading him over to the entrance of the room. They were concealed behind the wall on either side of the doorway.

They listened Phil woke the others up and helped them put the toys away, excitement ramping up as they waited. To their shock, Tommy entered first, fully ready to greet him in his usual loud tone. Techno quickly put his finger to his lip, shaking his head to signal him to be quiet. Tommy's eyes widened as he realized what was happening, deciding to duck behind the with his older brother.

It was then that Phil entered, carrying Wilbur. The boys jumped out from their spots, exclaiming different variations of "boo!" and "AHH!", breaking out into giggles immediately after. Wilbur squeaked, the sound startling him a bit, but he didn't seem upset. "Well hello, little ones," Phil chuckled, "If I remember correctly, you boys are supposed to be at the table."

"Jus' wanted to scare you! We go eat now," Techno assured, taking Tommy's wrist in his hand and pulling him over to the table. Ranboo however, peeked behind Phil to see if Tubbo was coming.

"Where Tubs at?" he pulled on Phil's shirt before he could walk away, whining a bit.

"He had a bit of an accident," the man admitted, "He's a bit smaller now, but he'll be out soon, okay?"

"Okay..." he trailed off, looking out into the living room, completely set on standing there until his best friend was able to join him.

"How about you head over to the table, kiddo?" his caregiver questioned, earning a pout from the little. "Okay, okay, you can wait here for him!" he decided, figuring there was nothing wrong with it. With a forehead kiss, Phil left him at the doorway.

"Tubbo! We gots apple slices for you!" he rambled excitedly when his friend finally did arrive, running towards him and grabbing his hand. He started to pull him further into the kitchen, but the mentally younger of the two stumbled a bit, seemingly clumsier then he was earlier in the day.

Ranboo realized that he had a pacifier in his mouth now, and he saw Phil replacing his sippy cup with a bottle out of the corner of his eye. He had worked hard to put apple juice in that sippy cup, he thought, pouting a bit.

"M' sorry, didn' mean to make you almost fall! We can go slow," he decided, earning a thankful smile from the other regressor. "Are you gonna say anything?" he asked, walking beside him. As they approached the table, Phil replied for the boy.

"He's a bit younger, bud, he might not be up for talking," he explained, "You know what it's like to be so little that you feel like a baby. Can we all be understanding? He's only a bit older then Wilbur at the moment." "

Tubbo seemed quite embarrassed as he sunk into his seat, pulling his pacifier from his mouth to eat his food. There were sounds of agreement around the table. Ranboo was curious as to what exactly made Tubbo slip so much younger then he usually did, but he didn't voice this curiosity, settling on eating his food in favor of not embarrassing his friend anymore then he already was. .

"These are yucky!" Tommy claimed, pushing his plate with carrots and ranch away from him.

"You like carrots and ranch, what are you talking about?" Phil sounded tired and just a bit annoyed.

"Don' want em," he shook his head, whining just as he had that morning when Wilbur teased him.

"If you eat them you'll get a cookie," the caregiver bribed.

"What type of cookie?" the toddler minded boy squinted his eyes, as if considering this, as if it was a negotiation of sorts.

"Sugar cookie, chocolate chip, I think we have Oreos too...whatever you could want," this definitely caught the boys interest.

"Chocolate chip?" his eyes went wide with excitement, which was only intensified when Phil nodded. Immediately, he uncrossed his arms and pulled his plate back towards him. Phil seemed satisfied with this, ruffling his hair.

The boys were still waking up, so Phil asked them to talk about their elaborate games from earlier in the day to keep them occupied. So, as they ate their snacks, they giggled about imaginary wars and adventures and argued over who won their dramatic plastic sword duels. Eventually, the caregiver gave them their promised sweets before sending them back off to play.

"Ranboo, you left your sippy cup in the kitchen," Phil tapped the boy's shoulder and distracted him from his game of peek-a-boo with Tubbo. He quickly discovered that his friend seemed much to little to participate in any games he'd usually play, so he did what he always saw Phil do with Wilbur: play a simpler one.

It was obviously much more entertaining for the littler of the two, but Ranboo was happy to hear his friend's giggles and squeaks. "Oh! Thanks, dada!" the boy reached up to take his sippy cup from the caregiver as he was sitting on the floor and Phil was standing. Ranboo gasped when he took a drink, feeling bubbles on his tongue.

Immediately, Phil put a finger to his lips and gave him a warning look. This made the boy giggle a bit as he nodded, understanding the signal. "Thank you!" he repeated, smiling when his hair was ruffled softly. The moment didn't last long, Tommy called Phil over for something, and it was back to peek-a-boo with his best friend.

Ranboo didn't mind it, though, peek-a-boo was fun. Being with everyone was fun, even if it meant he got a bit less attention due to there being so much going on. It all evened out, he got to be a snack time helper! And he got an extra cookie! If you asked him, that was pretty awesome.

In the next few days, they'd all get back into making more collaborative content, as that was the point of this meet up, but for now, it was just time to play. To spend time together, to cuddle, and giggle, and make far to much noise in the name of fun. To just be a family.

That was the specific feeling that came to Ranboo with this meet up. The comforting feeling that bubbled in his chest whenever he got a forehead kiss or his hair ruffled by Phil, or when he played babyish games with his friends when they regressed younger then him.

This was the thing that clouded his mind whenever he regressed with this group specifically, or when they were in the car, joking about anything and everything as they got closer and closer to their destination. A feeling that consistently made his life better, the feeling that brought a smile to his face everyday...

The Feeling of Family.

--

A/N: I really hope you liked that adorable mess of 4500 words! I appreciate reblogs and likes, but no matter what, thanks for reading to the end! Did you like the chaotic feeling that five littles/so many people brought into my fic? I kinda had to switch up my normal formulas to make room for so many characters, there's a reason I literally put three character to sleep halfway through the fic hjsikajsa. Did I write Phil well? I tried to portray how a caregiver w/so many littles would act somewhat realistically? Kind of overwhelmed but managing. Also, did you like me portraying ranboo as 'the angle little' of the group? idk I felt like it fit his personality in the scenario. If you reply with/send an ask/reblog with feedback, you can answer those questions, leave a request for something (whether it be in the universe father into the month-long meetup timeline I set up or just another fic), state your general opinions on the fic, or just leave a strand of emojis if words are hard. No matter what, it means a lot! I hope you all have a great day!!!!

[sirthisisa-wendys]

The General (part 9): Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader

synopsis: nothing is the way it was before. there is no future; there is no past. all there is... is nothing. 

wc: 2.1k

tw: light gore

masterlist

“She’s not gonna eat; I already told you that.” 

The sounds of Kaori and Toji fighting just outside of your door leak into your room, but you’re beyond caring. Megumi sits beside you in the sun-lit room, eyes scanning the outdoors, looking for any sign of an animal. You’re tucked underneath a warm, thick blanket, despite the temperature outside being warm enough to cause a little sweat. No, things were better this way. 

When you had come to after blacking out, Toji, Kaori, and Megumi were hovering over you, trying to figure out what to do about the General’s untimely passing. But in the two months since, no one had quite figured out how to bring you back to life. The only thing they could do is watch you slowly waste away and become a shell of your former self. 

Your parents suspect it’s because your princely husband had not sent for you since the war had ended, and you’re grieving a supposed loss. But neither Kaori nor Toji had the heart to admit that this loss wasn’t supposed. It was real. 

Your days are spent in your bed or in the garden behind the house, mind empty as Megumi attempts to watch over you and possibly even cheer you up by play-fighting with his father. But more often than not, you’re reduced to tears, and Toji fetches Kaori because he “can’t deal with crying women”. 

“My lady?” The head maid enters into your room with an orange and onigiri in her hands. “I brought you some fresh fruit from the market. Hamai sends her regards as well.” Hamai - Yuta’s sister and wife of Yuko - had also attempted to visit you, but her grief motivated her to knock on your door, and you couldn’t bear to think of Yuta or Nanami or--

“Thank you,” you croak, and she nods, handing Megumi the two onigiri. 

“Your father said you’d better eat these or he’ll never--”

“‘Feed me again’. I know,” Megumi chants monotonously and takes the rice balls from her hands. “Thank you, Kaori-san.” 

“Are you sure you don’t want any visitors?” Kaori asks for the third time. You cut your eyes to her, attempting a glare. “Hamai would love to come and--” 

“Listen, the lady said no visitors,” Toji gripes, standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. “I’ve been fighting off a ton of measly looking men who have nothing to say except ‘I’ve come to see Lady y/n’ and honestly, if you invite another person to this damn place, I’ll kill them on the spot.”

You roll away from the two people and look out of the window, remaining silent as Megumi eats his onigiri and stares at the bears and tigers in his book. Kaori and Toji retreat, restarting their squabble as soon as the door closes, leaving you to think about nothing and no one. 

_______________________________________________________________________

You’re in the garden when Megumi runs up to you, holding a light pashmina to cover your shoulders in the chill of fall. 

“Careful, you might get sick,” he warns, and you accept the article with a smile. 

“Thank you, sweet one.” The child climbs onto the bench you’re seated on, swinging his legs while you stare at the shishi-odoshi in silence. You’re suddenly reminded of the three other sweet children you left back at the camp, and before you can begin to sob out loud, your hand flies to your mouth. 

“Hey,” Toji appears from the house, hands deep in his pockets as he surveys the area. “You alright?” 

“Just fine,” you whisper, pushing back tears and grief all at once. “I just needed some peace and quiet.” 

“Yeah, gardens will give you that.” Toji stands beside the fountain and stares into the water for a moment before turning to Megumi. “There’s a frog out by the lake if you’re interested in--” Megumi hops down from the bench and disappears around the corner in a flash, abandoning you without a worry in the world. You sigh, watching him fade into the distance, and then turn to Toji, who is already staring at you with some unreadable expression. 

“What is it?” you grumble, blinking slowly. 

“Nothing, just…” Toji presses his lips together and looks sky-ward, thinking about his next words carefully. “I know you feel like everyone in the whole world can fuck off since Geto died… but have you ever considered moving on?” You tilt your head to the side, wondering if Toji really ever listened to himself talk. “I mean, yeah this shit is painful, but…” Toji rubs his neck and looks away from you and back to the fountain. “You have to move on at some point.” 

“He told me to wait for him,” you explain, wrapping the pashmina a little tighter and squinting at the shapes in the pool. “I’m going to do just that.”

“Y/n, he’s dead… what good will waiting do? Will you wait your whole life?” 

Your head snaps to Toji and you curl your lip up in disgust. 

“You’ve never loved anyone in this world but yourself and your money,” you spit, standing from your seated position so fast that Toji takes a half-step back. “I don’t imagine that you’d know what I’m talking about.” 

“That’s not true,” he retorts, frowning. “I’m trying to help you, that’s all. I’d hate to see you waste away over a man who can’t even survi--” The pashmina falls from your shoulders as your hand makes contact with his face, the echo of the slap scaring a flock of birds from the surrounding trees into the sky. 

“Speak ill of Geto again, and I’ll make sure those words are your last.” Toji doesn’t touch his bruised cheek as you stomp off, watching you retreat back into the house as he realizes that he let you slap him. 

_______________________________________________________________________

Screams haunt your sleep, fire burns the camp, and you’re running away, holding hands with the children as you dash into the forest. Geto is behind you, fighting off some unknown assailant, but you instinctively know how the dream is going to end.

You trip and fall over a root of a tree, but you yell at the children to escape. They continue running, not sparing you a second glance, but you turn around just as Geto is stabbed through the chest by a spear and falls with his back to the ground.  His head tilts back and he makes eye contact with you, blood pouring out of his mouth as he chokes:

“Wait for me.”

You shoot up in the bed and stumble out of your room through the sliding door that leads to the garden, sweat pouring down your neck and back as you sink to your knees. Your stomach heaves once, twice, depositing yellow bile into the bushes beside the house. The sun is barely up, and as you dry heave, you hear another door sliding open, Toji then Kaori tumbling out of your back door. 

“Poison,” Toji grunts, but Kaori pushes him aside before he can get to you. 

“No, she didn’t even eat anything before bed,” she states, rubbing your back with her cool hands. Your skin clams up as a breeze rolls across the garden, and you shudder violently before your teeth begin to chatter. “Toji, a blanket.” 

“Isn’t that your job?” he gripes, but walks into the house to grab a blanket anyways. When the cloth resta against your back, you feel a little better, but the feeling in your stomach won’t go away. 

“My Lady… talk to me. What’s the matter?” 

“Go,” you shake Kaori off, not wanting to repeat the events of your dream. 

“It’s probably because she didn’t eat,” Toji groans, the stairs squeaking under his weight. “I’ll get her a --” 

“Both of you. Go.” You look up at Toji, mustering your sternest look, and aiming the same expression at Kaori, who walks away from you, head hung low. 

You stay in the garden as true morning crests over the sky, lying on the bench under the bare cherry blossom tree while the skies turn into pinks and yellows, and reds. The image of Geto’s bloodied face wouldn’t depart from your memory and you feel the ache even deeper than before. The ache intensifies until it feels like all of you is just one large hole, throbbing with need and grief.

Nothing could save you. 

No one was coming back for you. 

They were all dead, and there was nothing left of the people you had grown to love and care for. 

It isn’t until your mother walks into the garden that you realize you might have missed your breakfast of an orange and water, but she comes bearing the fruit and you’re set back at ease. You wordlessly allow your mother to sit beside you, lifting your head so it rests in her lap snugly. She pats your hair gently, then inhales deeply, speaking in her normal soft tones. 

“Kaori told me you were sick last night,” she begins, and you nod as if she had asked a question and not stated a fact. “Ever since Geto Suguru died, you’ve been awfully sullen. One might think you had been with him the whole time and not at the Imperial Palace.” You glance up at your mother, and she winks at you. “Don’t worry; I won’t tell your father.” 

“How did you know?” you wonder, and she smiles, wrinkles forming at the edges of her mouth. 

“Well first, whoever the General gets to write his letters needs to brush up on their penmanship,” she laughs, then shrugs. “But it was your face the day that the General was announced dead that I saw you change. It only took me a few days to realize that you were in mourning, not upset that your prince hadn’t sent for you.” 

“Mother, I--” 

“You had every right to keep it a secret, although I wish you hadn’t. It would’ve made my interrogation of Toji much easier.” You imagine your own mother - all of five-foot-four, standing up to the massive Fushiguro with a finger to his chest - and you can’t help but chuckle. “Whatever the General did, I haven’t seen you glowing like you did when you returned since you were a little girl. I’ll have to find a way to thank him for that.” 

You choke out a deep sob, closing your eyes as you think of the lack of tribute, the lack of a funeral, the missing images of him that won’t return to your memory. 

“Though Toji takes good care of you. I haven’t seen that man slack off on his job once since after the announcement. He’s also been very helpful with your father. You know, he would ma--” 

“Lady y/n!” Kaori sprints out of the home, and you both look up to see her flustered expression, wondering what would have her so worked up this early in the morning. “There was a messenger from the Imperial Palace in the square!” she stops in front of you, panting heavily. “The Emperor… has fallen… ill.” When she catches her breath, the head maid can finally finish her statement, and she exhales deeply. “As is custom, his eldest son will be taking a tour of the country. And he’s named this village as his final stop, with your house as his resting place for the time he is here. He’ll be in the village in a fortnight.” You sit up, eyeing the maid carefully. 

Pieces of a puzzle begin to click together in your mind.

“His eldest son is Prince Naoya, correct?” 

“Yes, my lady.” As if sensing your premature plan, Kaori looks you dead in the eyes, daring you to do what she imagines you are already thinking of. 

“And you said a fortnight?” Your mother butts in, squinting her eyes.

“Yes.” 

“Fourteen days to prepare.” you whisper, lifting your head out of your mother’s lap and retreating to the house to find the eldest Fushiguro. Kaori enters behind you, grabbing your elbow before you can open his guest room door.

“What you’re thinking of is suicide,” she hisses, but you shrug. 

“What better way to rejoin Geto than to kill his murderer and then die myself?” you retort, but she slaps a hand over the gap between the wall and the door, blocking you from entering. 

“This isn’t what he would want,” Kaori pleads. “Please, think about what he said.”

“I cannot wait for a dead man, Kaori. Now, let me go.” You yank free from her grasp and enter the guest room, eyeing a lazy Toji lounging by the window. “I need your help.” 

He rolls his head around to look at you and raises a brow. “With what, my lady?” 

“I need to kill a prince in two weeks. Think you can help me with that?” 

“You mean treason?” Toji sits up, letting the book he held in his hands drop to his bed, and hums thoughtfully. “Killing a prince as revenge… putting the Imperial Court into chaos… yeah, I think I can help you with that.”

_______________________________________________________________________

TAGLIST: @kamisamaundercover @jotazinha @just4readingfics @mxhi @sammytamaki @brownskinnedgirll @keelyshayee @leanne-tamashi @vabybizzle @amaris9 @fuegy-fuegy @ambiguous-something​

[bumblesimagines]

Green Thumb

Part 2

Request: Yes or No

For anyone confused, (Y/N) was around 17 when he fought the Avengers and was taken in and now he's 18-19. Lowkey a filler to develop/show (Y/N)'s relationship with Laura and Clint

~

You stared up at the large wooden house, a soft breeze blowing by that made you tugged down the sleeves of the sweater you were wearing. Clint turned off the engine of his motorcycle, looking up at you. You furrowed your brows and turned towards him, glancing at the darkening sky.

"What is this place?" You asked, watching him curiously Clint stood beside him, gazing fondly at the house. He looked at you with a gentle smile.

"My home."

"Home?"

"Yep, home. The only other people who know about this place are Fury and Natasha." Clint revealed, making your brows raise. You looked back at the house. It was homey for sure. Far from the city with nature surrounding it. A perfect place to raise a family and live a quiet life. You bit your bottom lip, gently wrapping your arms around yourself. 

"So, why’d you bring me here?" You asked. If it was such a big secret that not even Tony or Steve knew about it, why would he share it with you? You weren’t even part of the team. You were just a child that they had to take in. Clint placed a gentle hand on your back.

"You need some fresh air and a break from the shit back at the tower. Come meet my wife and kids." Clint said, walking towards the house. You slowly followed, still unsure about the whole thing. You didn’t know why Clint trusted you so much. Not even a couple weeks back, you had attempted killing him and the Avengers. You had heard Tony mention Clint having a habit of taking in strays so you assumed you were just another person Clint wanted to help. The aroma of food filled your senses, making you let out a soft hum. Clint had heard it, chuckling as he stepped into his home. You followed, noticing the pictures on the walls and scattered drawings. 

"Laura, I’m home!" Clint called out into the house, following the light from the kitchen. You noticed some legos laying around, looking up as a woman approached Clint and greeted him with a kiss.

"How was work?" She asked softly, smiling. You could see two kids looking at you curiously from the table. Clint smiled back at his wife, gently stroking her long hair. 

"It was fine, honey. I brought a guest." Clint motioned towards you. Laura looked at you, humming softly. Her smile widened as she faced you.

"You must be (Y/N). Welcome to the Barton Farm." Laura giggled softly, placing a hand on her belly. Your gaze dropped down, noticing her barely visible bump. Laura followed your gaze, chuckling softly.

"We’re- Well, more like Natasha is hoping for a little girl." Laura smiled, glancing at Clint when he placed a gentle hand on her bump. She looked back at (Y/N), motioning to the table. 

"Come join us."

You walked with Laura to the greenhouse, glancing over at Tony and Steve as they talked.

"How was your first mission?" Laura asked, smiling widely as she gazed at you curiously. You were supposed to go on a mission when your training was complete but nevertheless, it had been quite exciting. You smiled, looking forward.

"It was.. Good. It didn't go as planned, obviously, but there wasn't much of a plan to begin with. Clint's definitely holding a grudge against the runner." You chuckled, opening the door to the greenhouse and stepping inside. Some new flowers had been added.

"I don't blame him." Laura said, giggling as she pulled up a chair. She sat down, letting out a sigh of relief. Laura rested her hands on her belly, watching you with a gentle gaze.

"The girl.. The girl made Hulk lose his shit and made the others see stuff." You told her, picking up a pot with a venus flytrap inside. You gently ran your finger over the plant, watching it open.

"Did she get to you?"

"No, I.. I stopped her before she could do anything to me. Natasha seemed pretty shaken up by what she saw." You looked back at her, frowning softly. You had never seen Natasha look so broken inside. Whatever she had seen, it had definitely triggered some bad memories. You wondered what Wanda would've made you see. The orphanage? The fight with the Avengers?

"Clint mentioned you had to work on your people skills." Laura recalled, laughing softly as she tilted her head. "What's that about?"

"I might've choked.. A few people."

"Might've?" Laura repeated, raising her brows. You placed the pot down, letting out a soft sigh as you stared down at the venus flytrap.

"What's on your mind, sweetheart?" Laura asked softly, noticing the change. You gently pushed the pot back into its spot beside the other plants, shrugging lightly.

"Not that long ago, I was in their spot. Wanda and Pietro.. Two young metas trying to survive. With my powers, I could have seriously injured someone and-"

"But you didn't, did you? We're all standing on this plot of land, living and breathing." Laura stood up from the chair, holding onto it as she regained her balance. She walked towards you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"You were a frightened kid on survival mode. You were doing whatever you could to protect yourself." Laura said, gaze softening.

"Obviously, I could never hurt Thor or Hulk but... I almost crushed and suffocated everyone else. Tony had to work on his suit, Natasha and Clint had bruises for days.. Steve did that weird staring thing like a fucking camera whenever I was in the room." You reached forward, running a finger over the leaf of a plant and watching it grow.

"Look at yourself." Laura motioned to the plants. "You have full control of your powers. You know your limits. You're.. Mother Nature's son! Like, almost literally her son."

"I'm your son." You muttered, keeping your gaze on the plants. Laura stayed quiet, almost frozen in place. She slowly smiled, nodding as she blinked away tears.

"Yeah.. Yeah, you are. You're my son. You're a Barton." Laura said softly, sniffling softly. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I'm gonna go see if Stark is willing to check out the tractor. Holler if you need anything." Laura said, turning around. She left the greenhouse, walking back towards the house. You thought about her words, knowing what she said was true but things could've gone differently if you had been in full control of your powers during the confrontation with the Avengers. Clint had still offered you support despite it all.

You brought your knees close to your chest, hearing the sounds of the Avengers grunting and talking on the floor below. The overgrown vines in the abandoned building wrapped around the corner you were in, providing cover.

"Hey, kid? You up here?"

"Barton, what the hell are-"

"Shut up, Tony." You furrowed your brows, hearing sluggish footsteps on the floor you were at.

"This isn't the greatest hiding spot, kid." The voice, 'Clint', had gotten closer. He was most likely standing infront of you, the vines being the only thing keeping you from seeing him.

"Look, I know you're scared. I know the orphanage probably wasn't great either, but we can help you. I can help you. You can trust me." Clint assured softly. You swallowed, reaching out and touching the vines. They parted, letting you peer up at Clint. He offered a tired smile, extending his hand to you.

"You just made Laura the happiest woman alive." You turned towards Clint, chuckling softly. Clint pushed himself off the doorway, stepping inside.

"Must be nice to finally feel happy for once." You replied, grinning.

"Oh, trust me, you should've seen her face when I proposed." Clint chuckled, looking over the greenhouse. He hummed.

"Maybe I should get into gardening." He muttered, arms crossing as he looked over the different flowers. You watched him.

"You'll be busy with missions."

"I don't plan on sticking around for long, if I'm honest. I want to retire and be with my kids more. The hero life isn't forever for some people. Keep that in mind, (N/N)."

"You're gonna leave the team?" You asked, frowning. You knew Clint had been thinking about it. Especially with a third kid on the way that would come at any moment.

"I got lucky but.. The thought of leaving Laura alone with three young kids, a barely legal adult, and a big plot of land.." Clint sighed, shaking his head as he gently tapped his finger against the table.

"I don't want to be an absent father and miss out on big achievements. I owe it to Laura and you guys." Clint explained softly. You understood. None of the other Avengers were parents yet. Clint dying meant fatherless kids and a widow. He had a lot more to lose.

"I'll always be here if you need advice or more training. I just won't be on the field with you." Clint placed his hands on your shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze before he leaned in and gave you a hug. You hugged him back, eyes shutting. You weren't sure how you'd be on the field without Clint there to support you. Being beside him brought you comfort and reassurance.

"You'll be an amazing Avenger, (Y/N). I know it." Clint whispered, leaning back and smiling softly.

"Will you be my number 1 fan?" You asked with a grin.

"I'm afraid the top three spots are already taken but I'll happily be your fourth biggest fan." Clint laughed softly, turning his head when Laura called for him and you.

"Come on, let's see what the boss wants." He said playfully, turning around and walking out. You followed, noticing Nick Fury standing on the porch. He gave you a nod before entering the house.

"What's he doing here?" You asked, looking at Clint. Clint shrugged, letting out a deep sigh as you walked up the steps.

"We're about to find out."

[marvelatthetwilight]

The Last Secret

Part 1: The Secret

Part 2: The Secret’s Out

Part 3: Secrets and Lies

Part 4: Sick of Secrets

Demetri’s POV

I follow Carlisle, carrying Y/N into a room at the end of a hallway. The room is set up as a study, but there is medical equipment to one side. Carlisle gestures to the bed and I place Y/N down gently. I can still faintly hear her heartbeat, although her breathing is raspy and laboured. I look at Carlisle, pleading with him to help her.

“She’s lost a lot of blood Demetri. I will do what I can, but the only way to save her may be to turn her” his face looks anguished as he speaks, I know that Y/N was close with all of the Cullens so they will do what they can to help her.

I wince at the idea of changing her so soon. We hadn’t had the opportunity to discuss her feelings, although we have talked about spending forever together. She might be expecting her forever to start in a few years. A few years that I should have been able to give her. I wasn’t able to protect her like I should have. I took her away from her friends and family and put her at risk.

He ushers me out of the room as I stand bewildered, looking out the window, listening closely to Y/N’s faint heartbeat.

Edward appears beside me, I know he has been listening to my thoughts, and normally I would be furious, but today I do not care, I just wish for Y/N to be OK.

“Demetri, I think you should come and talk to Bella, she and Y/N are very close and she may be able to give you an insight into Y/N’s feelings on being turned.”

I nod, and follow him down the hallway to the living room, holding on to the faint sound of Y/N’s heart as I walk away.

I walk into the room to be greeted by Bella, the small child and a creature who I assume to be one of the wolves Y/N told me about. Jacob I think? I look to Edward for confirmation and he smiles as he nods.

“Renesmee, Jacob, this is Demetri, Y/N’s...mate.”

The young girl walks towards me with her hand outstretched and hesitates before looking to her mother for approval. I lean forward slightly and she places her hand on my cheek.

Flashes of memories fill my head; Y/N holding Renesmee as a baby, rocking and cooing her as she sleeps, Y/N and Renesmee playing hide and seek, playing board games with Jacob and cuddling on the sofa watching movies.

The final memory is longer, it doesn’t flash in my head like a snapshot, there is sound like a video.

Y/N and Renesmee planting flowers in the garden.

“Are you going to become like mother and father and be with me forever Y/N?”

Renesmee looks to Y/N, and her face lights up as she smiles.

“I will be like your mother and father, but I won’t be able to stay here, with you forever Nessie. I will lead my own life, with my love, but I will try to visit you, and you can visit me.”

The memory ends and Renesmee looks to me expectantly. I realise then that my mouth is wide open in shock, and Renesmee laughs as I quickly close it.

“Demetri if you have to make the choice today, make it. She will not be mad with you, this is what she wants. She wants to live out her life with you.” Bella states as she walks towards where I am standing still with Renesmee.

Why are they all being so kind after everything I have done? I took Y/N away without saying goodbye, I knew that Aro had a nefarious plan and I did not help.

Edward coughs slightly, to gain my attention. Oh yes, he can hear me.

“We know you only did what you did to protect her. That you would do anything to protect her. We hold no ill will towards you Demetri.” Edward says as he steps closer to Bella and puts an arm around her waist.

“Demetri.” Carlisle’s voice rings out from the room down the corridor.

I quickly make my way to him and can immediately tell from his face that a decision must be made.

“She has lost too much blood. I have repaired her wound as best I can but I cannot be confident in her outcome. If you wish to save her, I believe she must be turned.”

I nod. But I’m immediately unsure if I have the willpower to stop myself to turn her, and I look back to Edward, knowing he has heard my concern.

“Demetri, you found Y/N covered in blood, you carried her here without the thought of tasting her even crossing your mind. Your bond is strong, I don’t think you would be able to hurt her.” He pulls Bella towards himself as he speaks again.

“I know from experience, when it comes to saving your love, the taste of blood does not matter.”

I turn back to Carlisle. “I will change her” I state with confidence.

I make my way into the room, Y/N is pale, her stomach covered in a bandage, hiding her stitches. Hiding where I failed her.

Carlisle and Edward stay in the room with me, just in case.

I hold her hand up to my face and kiss the back of it softly. “I love you” I whisper, before turning her hand and biting into her wrist. I bite long enough to let me venom flow through her but not to drink, though the sweet taste of her blood lingers on my lips from my bite. It’s like nectar, not like any blood I have ever tasted before. I shake my head to shake away the thoughts and pull her hand away.

“Should I do it again, to be sure?” I look to Carlisle for confirmation and he nods.

I move closer to her, my face now next to hers, and I take in her scent, before turning her head away to reach her neck. I lay a soft kiss on her neck before biting down, the sweet nectar of her blood filling my mouth. I feel like I am drowning in her before I am pulled away by Carlisle and Edward.

“Enough Demetri, enough.” Carlisle shouts, his voice pulling me out of my thoughts and back into the room.

“And now we wait.” I sigh.

“Now we wait” Edward and Carlisle repeat.

Three days pass in the company of the Cullens. I travel to Seattle to feed, as promised, but I hate being so far from Y/N in case she wakes. I make quick work of it, finding the first person who takes my fancy and making my way back to the Cullen’s house as soon as I have disposed of the body.

When I open the door to the house, the house is buzzing with movement, something I had not noticed for the past few days. Jacob had taken Renesmee to the Reservation to be safe, just in case Y/N had trouble with her thirst, so the active, childlike energy had disappeared. Most of the Cullens took to reading, waiting in anticipation for their friend to wake up.

But suddenly this was different. Alice meets me as a I close the front door.

“It’s nearly time.” She states with a grin on her face.

“How do you know?” I ask in confusion, I still don’t fully understand how her power works, and I’m not sure if I want to know what she has seen.

“Edward can hear her”. This has piqued my interest.

I follow Alice into the room where Y/N lay on the bed, Edward and Carlisle standing to her left.

“She’s thinking about you Demetri” Edward whispers with a smile. “It’s mostly memories of her human life, but I can hear her, she’s nearly ready to wake.”

Carlisle ushers everyone but me out of the room, I pull over a chair from the edge of the room to Y/N’s bedside and hold her hand. I gently caress her face with my other hand, my fingers running the outline of her jaw, her lips. The venom has lengthened her eyelashes, her lips plumper, but she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen when she was human, so there was little vampire venom could do to change that. I bring her hand to my lips and close my eyes as I kiss it, willing her to wake.

“Demetri...what happened?”

Y/N’s POV

My eyes flutter open and I look around me. My vision is...different...I can see small speckles of dust flying in the rays of sun shining through the window. My eyes dart around the room before landing on the fair hair of Demetri, his head bent forwards as he kisses my hand.

“Demetri, what happened?” I whisper, my voice hoarse from not speaking.

“Y/N, my love, you are awake!” Demetri cups my face with his hands and peppers my face with kisses before pressing his lips to mine.

I laugh before I feel a burn in my throat, I scratch at my neck in an attempt to ease the pain. Demetri’s eyes widen before he rushes to the fridge in the corner of the room and retrieves what look like blood bags.

“What are those for?” Demetri looks at me with a pained expression, his eyes willing me to understand.

“I’m...I’ve...been turned?” I look up at him, his face showing deep sorrow, and I realise that he feels he is to blame for whatever happened.

I take the bag from his hands and place it in my lap before taking his hands in mine.

“I don’t need to know what happened, I know that you would have done everything you could and that this was the right decision.” I pull him towards me and kiss him.

“You don’t want to know?” He questions.

“It can be the last secret between us. I don’t need to know, I don’t want to know. It’s not needed. But what is needed is this, how do I do this?”

I hold up the blood bag to my mouth and I’m immediately hit with the smell. The burning in my throat intensifies and I bite into the bag in desperation, guzzling the contents within seconds. Just as I finish the first bag, Demetri holds up a second, and then a third, before I feel the burning begin to cool in my throat.

Demetri holds up a fourth bag and I growl possessively, I reach out to grab it just as a zap noise leaves my palms and Demetri shouts out in pain, dropping the bag onto the bed.

“What on earth was that Y/N?” Demetri growls as he rubs his hand defensively.

“I think that was me?” I say sheepishly, before grabbing the fourth bag and emptying it.

Edward appears at the door and shares a look with Demetri, his eyebrows raise at me.

“Well, that’s an interesting development Y/N. You appear to have a gift.”

Taglist:

@volturidoll13 @fatiguing-thoughts @clearwater-hoe @teampaul @wallwriterstuff @like-rain-or-confetti @moviequeen51 @awesomebooklover17 @cncogirl18 @raindancer2004 @officialfictionalwreck @megzdoodle @slasher-sweetie @evakipara @reclusive-chicken-nugget @icarusinstatic @holl2712

[sunnyville36]

Mamihlapinatapai {part 4}

We're almost to the end!! Much love to all of you for reading 💜

Need to catch up? {overview} {part 1} {part 2} {part 3}

Pairing: Bang Chan x Female Reader

Themes: royal au, medieval au, court intrigue, arranged marriage, original characters, mutual pining, slow burn

Warnings: mentions of death/war/murder, mentions of torture (brief), mentions of physical abuse (brief), emotionally abusive parents

Rating: Mature

Word count: 5.4k

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mamihlapinatapai - (noun, Yagán origin) a silent acknowledgement and understanding between two people, who are both wishing or thinking the same thing (and are both unwilling to initiate)

Instincts  |  Kingdom of Gu, present day

You’d slept maybe a total of twelve hours in the three days since the poisoning attempt.  Things were still tense between you and Chan after your outburst at the pond.  The king didn’t want him leaving the safety of his chambers, not knowing if there would be another attack on his life, which meant you only really saw him at mealtimes.  You’d tried to apologize for raising your voice at him a few times but could never manage to look him in the eye, always leaving the room before he could say anything more than a thank you for the food.  You were also avoiding him because you felt you’d revealed something in those words, a small part of the way you felt about him, and you weren’t ready to confront any of the implications from that just yet.  At night, you couldn’t sleep, your thoughts full of fear for Chan’s safety and concern for what would happen between Gu and Lajor.  So you’d spent the hours wandering the outskirts and corridors of the castle, lingering especially in the wing where the prince’s room was.

It was on the third night of your rounds, as you were walking the eastern side of the castle that faced the forest, the air humid and suffocating on your skin, that you spotted a flash of gold hair headed for the base of the closest tower.  You turned and followed the hooded figure as they approached the castle entrance, and the growing sinking feeling in your stomach was confirmed when their face caught the light.

You had to hand it to her, she either had a death wish or nerves of steel to show up here again.

Korenna was attempting to break through the bolt on the door when you pulled up behind her, bringing a hand to her mouth and a knife to her throat.

“I could kill you where you stand, and no one would protest at my decision.”

“You could, but I don’t believe you will,” she responded, voice calmer than you expected.

You whipped her around to face you, snarling in a whisper, “Don’t you dare use my own words against me.  I said that to you when I thought I could trust you, and you’ve made it blatantly clear that was a misjudgement on my part.”

“Y/n no please listen it wasn’t.  I know I was rude and standoffish - “

“Rude and standoffish?!” you repeated in disbelief.  “Sure that’s definitely what we’re talking about right now.  You know, I always thought maybe it was because you were a shy person, or because you were jealous, but, as it turns out, you just aren’t one of those people who likes to get really close to the person she’s trying to murder.”

Korenna looked like she was about to cry, leaning forward as if to grab at your arms despite the knife still pointing at her throat.  “Please, Y/n, that’s not what I meant, I can explain!  Do you really think you were so wrong about me; do you really think I could kill a man in cold blood?”

You shouldn’t even be entertaining her excuses, you thought to yourself.  She was trying to use your pride against you, to trick you into letting her explain herself so you didn’t have to admit you were wrong.  But, like always, as you watched her, trying to discern any ounce of deceit or malice, you found none.

You lowered the knife, stepping back and motioning for her to continue.

“You know that my father was crazy enough to try to invade Gu all those years ago.  What you don’t know is that he’s only gotten more delusional and power hungry over all these years, hell bent on taking down your kingdom as revenge against King Bang and completely disregarding the well being of his own.  Last year, I had been trying to gather support from the ministers, to show them just how corrupt, how evil he had become.  That was when my mother died and my father finally snapped, leaving me and my nine year old sister completely at the whim of his wrath.  He locked Paige away at some secret fortress and told me that if I didn’t agree to his plan of killing Prince Chan and wreaking havoc on your kingdom, he would leave her alone to starve to death.  He gave me three weeks to decide and I searched for her desperately, but at the end of it I was no closer to finding her and was forced to agree to the marriage he had arranged to initiate his plot.”

“Why should I believe any of this?”

“Because she’s here, right now.  We crossed the border with a small group of knights who are sympathetic to our position.  They wanted to help me, and I want to help you, but I had to make sure my sister was safe.  Now that she is, we can work together to protect your kingdom and hopefully preserve mine.”

You were silent, taking her and her story in.

“If you could just bring me to Chris, let me tell him all of this, apologize for what I did,” she pleaded, eyes begging even more than her words.

“Fine.  I will bring you to His Highness, and he will decide what to do with you.”

***

You led Korenna past the guards, neither of them giving you a second look when they saw it was you despite your concealed companion.  Chan was known for burning the midnight oil, and tonight was no different.  You could see the light drifting out from beneath his door as you knocked lightly, and were met with his quiet, “Come in.”

You opened the door, remaining in the door frame as he turned to face you.  “Your Highness, there’s someone here to see you,” you said, stepping aside and pushing Korenna in front of you before you followed in and shut the door.

Chan sat still for a moment, then leaned back in his chair, legs and arms crossed in his most casual yet intimidating pose.

“Unless my oldest friend has decided to kill me tonight, which I certainly hope is not the case, you must have had a pretty convincing reason for her to bring you here.”

Korenna remained silent, looking between you and the prince nervously.

Chan rolled his eyes, clearly frustrated.  “Well?  Let me hear it.”

She told him everything, about her father’s plot and her involvement, the threats against her sister, how she had support from the knights and probably a fair majority of the people as well.

“I know you could never forgive me for what I did, but I am truly, sincerely sorry,” she said, head bowed.

The prince seemed to be contemplating her story just as you had.  Finally, his voice broke the silence.

“Show me this sister of yours and then I will decide how we proceed.”

***

You walked next to Chan as you followed Korenna into the forest where her sister was supposedly waiting with the Lajoran knights.  You didn’t like this plan, knew if Korenna’s description was true, you and Chan would be severely outnumbered should things turn south, but Chan had insisted on only taking you with him.  He looked unusually pensive as you walked, and you decided to take this opportunity to give your apology, in case it happened to be your last.

“Your Highness,” you said quietly, “I’ve been meaning to tell you how sorry I am for how I spoke to you by the pond.  You were only trying to comfort me and I took my insecurities out on you and you didn’t deserve that.”

He put his arm out in front of you, stopping you in your tracks.

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?  Y/n, I’ve been trying to ask you for three days if you were alright and all this time you’ve been feeling guilty?  Please, please don’t feel that way, I would never blame you for what happened and I was never upset about our conversation.  Promise me you won’t keep anything like this from me again?”

You looked at each other and you nodded, both silently agreeing not to touch on the part of that previous conversation where you revealed something else you’d been keeping from him.

The two of you jogged back up to where Korenna had stopped at a small, raised hill surrounded by rocks.  It certainly was a good vantage point and hiding spot.  Once again, you hoped your instincts about this woman and her intentions would be correct.

Korenna led you around the corner of one of the rocks, and that was when you saw the young girl.  She was lying wrapped in a blanket despite the heat, and her hair looked dirty and matted.  The men sitting around her straightened as Korenna approached the group, but she held up her hand to show them you were on their side.  The girl lifted her head when she heard your footsteps, her gaunt face morphing into a smile at the sight of her sister.

“Korenna, you’re back,” she rasped as the elder knelt and wrapped her in a hug, and your heart broke at the sound of her barely there voice.

“Your Highness…”

“I know,” he said, reading what you were going to say from the tone of your voice, “we need to get her to Felix.”

You both approached the pair and you knelt down next to Korenna, speaking softly to the younger princess.

“Hello Paige.  My name is Y/n.  I’m a friend of your sister.  She’s brought you a really long way to make sure you’re safe, and we’re going to get you some help now so you can feel better.  Would that be alright with you?”

The little girl nodded, and you looked up at Korenna, silently asking permission to pick her up.  Korenna nodded as well, so you gathered Paige into your arms and began the trek back to the palace, some of the knights following along with you.  You looked behind you to see Chan place his hand on Korenna’s shoulder.

“Thank you for showing me.  Together we’re going to make this right.”

Conscription  |  Kingdom of Lajor, present day

“Your Majesty, the villagers are reporting they have no more men to send, and those in the city have been rioting for two days since the conscription announcement went out.  The knights can barely keep the peace and we have more and more deserters every day.  I’m just not sure we should continue hounding the people - ”

King Eunther looked up from his seat in the throne room, cutting the man off with a steely, impenetrable gaze.

“Sir Bavrard, do the people control this kingdom?”

“N-no, Your Majesty.”

“And do the knights?”

“No, Your Majesty.”

“Then please explain to me why you are suggesting we listen to the complaints of those ungrateful, insubordinate traitors over my own direct orders?!” the king shouted, Sir Bavrard cowering beneath him.

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty, I just don’t know what else we can do to compel such a large uprising - “

“I’ll tell you what you can do,” King Eunther snarled, rising from his chair, “you can tell them that if they don’t cooperate, you will bring them to stand in front of me and I will personally remove their head from their body.  Do I make myself clear?!”

32 men died that day.

Checkmate  |  Kingdom of Gu, present day

You entered the infirmary, walking over to where Prince Felix sat at the bedside of a much healthier looking Paige.

“Y/n!” she called, her head peeking around Felix’s shoulder to smile at you.

“Hello little princess,” you said, returning her smile as you came to stand beside Felix.  “I’m glad to see you doing much better.  Do you mind if I borrow your companion for a moment?”

“Nope!” she pronounced, going back to the book she’d been reading as Felix followed you to the corner of the room.

“You were right, her condition is much improved,” Felix said.  “I’m still a little worried about her malnourishment, but as long as she remains well fed and warm, she should be alright.”

“That’s good news; Princess Korenna will be glad to hear it.  She wanted me to thank you for tending to her, Your Grace.”

“I’m delighted to!” he exclaimed quietly.  “She’s got quite the personality in that little body of hers, kept me on my toes the last few days.”

As if on cue, Paige piped up from behind the two of you, “Felix, could I have that glass of orange juice you’d said you’d bring me?  I waited ten minutes like you said.”

“See?” he said with a smile and a raise of his eyebrows, turning to leave the room.  You followed after him, sending a wave and a wink to the princess on your way.

You headed back to the throne room, where King Bang, Chan, Korenna, Minho, and the rest of the head knights were gathered.  They’d been discussing their plans for the imminent Lajoran attack for a few days now, Korenna and her knights filling in any gaps of knowledge or speculating on Eunther’s strategies when they could.  You’d been in attendance as well, taking notes, marking maps, and giving suggestions every once in a while.  Battle planning had never been your favorite task; you couldn’t help but think about all the senseless loss that came from two men getting into a pissing contest over who should control what land or trying to ‘avenge their honor.’  Surely there had to be a better way, especially in this situation where it was clear the Lajoran people were not exactly in support of their ruler, to defeat a rogue king without the death of innocent people.

Entering the room, you caught eyes with Korenna, who walked over to meet you in the far corner.

“Prince Felix says she’s still stable, Your Grace.  As long as we keep her here and watch that she’s getting enough food, she should recover just fine.”

“Oh thank god, what a relief,” Korenna sighed, placing one hand on your arm and one over her chest.  “I can’t begin to thank you all enough for what you’ve done for us.”

Your ears perked at that.  Korenna seemed like she also despised the loss of innocent life, considering she hadn’t even been able to kill her father’s enemy despite her own sister being in danger.  Maybe you could suggest your proposal to her and she could advocate for it, as a way of repaying you all and preventing more death.

“Actually, Your Grace, if I may, there is something I was considering.  There may be a potential way to prevent an all out battle between our two peoples, if what you’ve told us is true about your father’s current standing amongst your citizens.  If you were to propose it, the others might take more kindly to it than if it came from me.”

Korenna didn’t say anything, so you took that as a sign to continue.  You explained what you had been turning over in your head for the past few days, checking a few of the details with her.  When you finished, the princess looked a little apprehensive.

“I am in total support of that plan, Y/n,” the princess explained.  “But I worry that if it comes from me, King Bang is going to reject it outright.  I can tell he is not as convinced of my intentions as you and Chris are.”

She had a point.  If the plan were to come from her, it would probably seem more suspicious, more likely to be a trap.  However, you feared the king wouldn’t consider you proposing such a plan to be much more trustworthy.

Korenna seemed to be reading that exact thought on your face as she said, “Why don’t you angle it towards Chris; I know he holds your input in high regard.”

You felt your heart tug at her statement, but pushed those thoughts to the back of your mind.  Korenna was right; you could do this.  You nodded at her and you both returned to the table.

The men were talking, so you tried clearing your throat, but that seemed to do nothing to get their attention.  Noticing your hesitation, Korenna interrupted.

“Gentlemen, I believe Y/n has something to say.”

You smiled gratefully at her then turned your attention to Chan.  If you could just remain focused on him you were confident you could explain your plan and maybe even convince them to buy in to it too.

“Your Highness, I’ve been thinking of a way that we could perhaps avoid any direct conflict with Lajor.  We already know that Her Grace has many supporters, as evidenced by our friends here.  And according to their reports, the people are in no position to support a war; this is all one man’s doing.  So if we can eliminate that one man, our problem would be solved.

I propose we arrange a meeting with King Eunther.  Somewhere neutral, away from the majority of our armies.  We frame it as a truce meeting, have him go into it thinking he will get some concessions from our side in order to prevent a fight.  In reality, we use it as a chance to capture him unawares.  Her Grace can confront her father, and if our information is correct, the knights and soldiers will take her side and we can end this situation with zero loss of life and a new friend on the Lajoran throne.”

You glanced at Korenna and saw she was smiling brightly at you.  Looking back at Chan, you could tell he was seriously considering what you had said, head pressed together with Minho in quiet conversation.  The Lajoran and Guan knights were murmuring to each other, indicating agreement with what you’d proposed.  The only person who appeared to be against it was King Bang.

“Using deception and ambushing a man has always been considered dishonorable,” the king spat, as if you had insulted the very foundation of the kingdom.  “Wars are meant to be fought on the battlefield and our army could easily outpace Lajor’s; there are expectations and traditions that should be upheld.”

It took everything in you not to scream at him, to unleash a lifetime’s worth of anguish caused by his ignorance and arrogance.  You’d had enough of hearing this man talk about all the noble pursuits of battle without ever having to face the consequences of one.  You turned to him, your chin held high.

“Forgive me, Your Majesty, but this is not about the “honor” of taking him down on the battlefield.  This is about not sacrificing the lives of men to maintain your own sense of righteousness.”

The room went silent at that.  You kept your eyes on the king, could feel him seething under his impartial expression.  Under any other circumstances, the punishment for what you’d just said would be severe.  But everyone in the room was starting to come to the realization that your plan had merit.  It would be faster, easier, less costly, and less deadly than simply bracing for an attack, no matter how “dishonorable” it might seem.  And even the king knew now was not the time to berate you, though you were sure it would come back to haunt you later.

You felt Chan press his hand to the small of your back, the sign of support giving you more strength.  “Y/n is right.  Even if we would be likely to take a victory in battle, her plan has the best chance of rooting out the cause of our problem here and now and placing both our kingdoms in a better position for the long term.  If anyone disagrees, they should speak now.”

Everyone kept silent, some nodding their heads in agreement with the decision.

“Then we shall prepare to execute it.”

***

You avoided the throne room as much as possible for the next few days as preparations were made, wanting to have as little interaction with the king as you could.  Chan had praised you after the meeting, had said he was proud you’d spoken up to his father.  You knew the prince had the best of intentions, but you also knew he could never understand what it was like to know that by doing what you did, you’d surrendered yourself to whatever punishment the king saw fit to assign after this ordeal came to an end.

A rider had been dispatched to Lajor to deliver the terms of your meeting.  In the letter, Gu had agreed to secede the western most portion of its territory as well as deliver half its military forces to Lajor.  The only stipulation was an in person meeting to sign the documents.  As suspected, King Eunther was too tempted by power to see through your guise, thin as it may have been.  The meeting was set for today at noon.

Armies from both sides were prepared, in case this peace offering did not go smoothly.  The plan was to bring you, Chan, Korenna, King Bang, Minho, the Lajoran knights, and a few members of your own royal guard to the meeting place, which was designated to be the same spot in the forest where the earlier attempt on Chan’s life took place.

Hours before the meeting, you were making your way through the forest as quickly and quietly as you could, bow strapped to your back and dressed in your most inconspicuous woodland attire.  You were to arrive at the grove early so you could take your position prior to anyone else arriving, or, in the worst case, report back if an enemy agent was attempting to do the same.  It was decided earlier that you would walk there alone, in order to leave as little trace as possible.

You didn’t mind the solitude as you meandered through the woods, trying not to leave an obvious trail behind you.  Before you’d left, Korenna had come to confirm with you the signal for your part of the plan.  Then, just as you were about to enter the forest, a voice called your name.

“Y/n!”

“Your Highness, you should be preparing with the others.”

“I know I-I just had to see you before you go.  To tell you goodluck.”

You looked at him and, steeling yourself for what you were about to do, tugged him into a crushing embrace.  He returned the hug, his head close enough to hear you whisper, “You too.”

Both of you were well aware of the hundreds of unspoken things behind the brief words you exchanged, but they were all that needed to be said for now.

You reached the clearing and found the tree with the best camouflage that had the vantage point you wanted.  Climbing up, you settled in for the long wait until the rest of the players arrived.

***

After about two hours, you heard the distinctive clopping of hooves coming from the direction of the Gu palace.  A few moments later, your friends came into sight of the clearing.  Remaining hidden, you watched as they fanned out into a semi-circle facing the direction of Lajor, King Bang and Korenna in the center.

Minutes passed and the Lajorans were nowhere to be seen.  It felt eerily quiet in the forest, and you began to worry King Eunther had caught on to your plan and was in the midst of attacking the city as you all stood here waiting for him.  However, after another few tense minutes, the Lajoran party arrived, consisting of King Eunther, his most trusted advisor Sir Bavrard, and thirty or so additional knights on foot, far more than the agreed upon fifteen.  You surveyed them as they formed a group behind Eunther.  Most looked anxious, like they weren’t quite sure what they should do in the event they were told to act, others seemed outright bored, and they all appeared to be sorely lacking in food and armament.  Just as Korenna had predicted, and just as you’d counted on for your plan to work.

“Sir Alfrey,” Eunther began, spotting Korenna’s biggest supporter on his horse beside her, “I should have known you’d be behind all this.”

Your friends remained silent, their expressions blank.

The king seemed slightly unnerved at the lack of response, and decided to try another tactic.  “So, am I to believe you brought my daughter here as a gesture of good faith, an additional item to be returned to me in the terms of our... arrangement?”

Chan’s even tempered voice rang out.  “She is not our prisoner; she came to us of her own free will.”

“And what of my younger daughter, Paige?”

“Don’t.  Speak.  Her name,” Korenna gritted out.

“Oh Korenna, you stupid girl; you’re the whole reason we’re in this unpleasant mess, so just stay quiet and let the men do the talking.”

You felt an angry coil rise in the pit of your stomach at his words, more resolved than ever to execute your plan and free Korenna from this abuse for good.  Taking your stance, you kept your eyes trained on the Lajoran king.

“No, father.  I will not stay quiet,” Korenna spoke again.  It had been agreed she would do most of the talking; the more riled up the king became the more reckless he would be, and his daughter talking back to him seemed to do the trick perfectly.

Eunther opened his mouth to say something, but before he could speak, Korenna continued.  “We did not ask you here today to sign a truce or give you any concessions to appease you.  We came here to put an end to this feud and an end to your rule.  You have irresponsibly and unjustly led our people, going so far as to torture and kill them when they do not agree with your machinations.  It is my obligation to remove you from the throne for the sake of our kingdom.  You will surrender to us now and I will walk our men off this battlefield and home to their families.”

You knew it would be your cue soon, your arm pulling back to anchor an arrow at the corner of your mouth.

“I think you can see my forces far outnumber yours at the moment,” the king said, gesturing to the knights behind him.  “And sadly you seem to believe our people are as disloyal as you are, an unfortunate misjudgement.  Why would I ever agree to your weak-minded, insolent little proposal?”

You let the arrow fly, and watched as it sailed just past Eunther, nicking his ear and drawing the tiniest drop of blood.

In the ensuing chaos caused by the seemingly rogue arrow, your team of knights rushed the Lajoran side, many of them laying down their weapons immediately in the face of the much healthier, much better armed Guan force.  You looked to see Minho drag Bavrard out from where he was crouched under the legs of his horse, lest an arrow attempt to find him as its target.  The other royals from your party remained safe in their position below and slightly to the left of your own.  Satisfied, you notched another arrow.

King Eunther put his hand to his ear, feeling the cut, and rose his gaze to find you perched in the treetops above.  “You missed.”

“I assure you,” you heard Chan say, “if she’d wanted it, you’d be dead.”

“I don’t want to kill you father,” came Korenna’s softer-edged voice.  “But if your choice is not to surrender, well, I’m afraid you’ve forced my hand.”

The smug look finally left the king’s face, his eyes darting around to see his companions abandoning him.  He got down from his horse, arms open wide in a begging posture mirroring his attitude that had shifted on a dime, hoping to win over his daughter with fake apologies and promises.  Damn, you thought, this man really doesn’t have a principled bone in his body.

“Korenna, daughter, please don’t do this.  I’m sure we can - “

An arrow landed in the grass between his feet.  He’d taken one step too close for your liking.

“Sir Alfrey,” Korenna instructed, “please take my father into custody.”

The king blanched as the knight dismounted and stepped forward, a steady stream of curses leaving his lips.

“I will get my revenge on you, you impudent little girl!  How do you think you will succeed in this plan of yours without me; you know nothing of running a kingdom!  You should watch your back, dear daughter, for I will always be lurking; I swear to you, you will never be rid of me!”

“Actually, father,” Korenna said, riding past him on her striking white mare, “I already am.”

Reign  |  Kingdom of Lajor, present day

Standing outside the palace gates hand-in-hand with Paige, you couldn’t keep the smile off your face.  You’d just exited the carriage that had carried King Bang, Chan, you, and the little princess back to her kingdom.  Korenna’s coronation was happening today, and luckily Paige had recovered enough to travel just in time to make it for her sister’s momentous occasion.

After Korenna had successfully confronted her father, she had made her way to the waiting Lajoran army and proclaimed there would be no battle.  They’d rejoiced and, unlike her father’s deluded assumption of the opposite, the kingdom had welcomed her as their ruler with open arms.  You and the others had returned to announce the good news to your own citizens, and to Paige, who was ecstatic at her sister’s triumph.  The last few days had been spent drafting amendments and additions to your trade agreements and foreign policy documents; with Korenna on the throne, Lajor and Gu’s relationship would transform from one of hostility to one of cooperation.  In all the bustle, you’d somehow managed to avoid a confrontation with King Bang over your behavior at the war table that day, but you couldn’t help thinking it was only a matter of time before the other shoe dropped.

You were ushered inside, hundreds of people weaving in and out amongst the beautifully decorated corridors as you found your way to the throne room.  You left the royals to take their seats at the front of the crowd while you went in search of your mother.

Many attendees from Gu, knights, servants, and citizens alike, had come to observe the ceremony, as a kind of display of support and camaraderie for your kingdom’s newly found ally.  You found your mother along the left side wall in a relatively uncrowded spot and took your place to watch your friend as she approached the priest who would bestow upon her the title of Queen of Lajor.

Between the hum of the clergymen reciting holy texts and oaths, you heard your mother whisper, “She knows not the sacrifice she makes to hold this position.”

You thought back to every conversation you’d had with Korenna, how in each and every one she demonstrated a profound devotion to her kingdom and her people.  “I think she does,” you responded.

“It must be daunting, knowing that responsibility sits on your shoulders from the very beginning.”  She saw your gaze shift from Korenna to Chan, seated at the front of the room next to his father, looking proudly up at the princess.

“I can only imagine.”

She paused, then continued, “Do you think you could bear that burden?”

Your mother was well aware of your feelings for the prince, had been since you tearily confessed to her the night of your one and only kiss.  So you knew what she meant.  Knew the question she was really asking, the question you’d pondered yourself more times than you could count.

Would you sacrifice the relative freedom you enjoyed now, agree to be beholden to a people and their wellbeing, in order to be with Chris, the man you loved?

Surprised at this line of questioning though you were, you answered honestly.  “If given the chance, I would bear it a hundred times over.”

Your attention was drawn back to the ceremony then, the priest announcing in a booming voice that Lajor had a new queen, Queen Korenna Dormio, first of her name.

The crowd erupted in applause, and you saw Paige dash up the dias steps to wrap her arms around her sister.  You felt the presence of eyes on you and looked to see Chan, his head turned to smile at you in the crowd.  You smiled back, and the answer you’d given your mother rang in your mind, as true as you’d ever felt it.

You would give anything for him.

{part 5}

[idreamofplaid]

Moonlight Whiskey

Square Filled: Whiskey for @walker-bingo & Established Relationship for @girl-next-door-writes Make Me Feel Bingo

Summary: Cordell plans a romantic night for the reader that brings back memories from decades ago.

Rating: Explicit

Characters: Cordell x Reader; Emily mentioned

Word Count: 4040

Created for @walker-bingo & @girl-next-door-writes Make Me Feel Bingo

“We’re almost there.” Cordell’s voice held a hint of excitement. Whatever this was he had planned for you, he was happy with himself about it; and that made you happy. It was past time Cordell let himself feel happy again.

You lifted your fingers to the bandana covering your eyes. It had slipped a little, and you pushed it back into place. If it fell much lower, you might be tempted to peek, and you didn’t want to ruin Cordell’s surprise. He knew your inclinations, and when he saw what you were doing; he issued you a playful warning. “Keep the blindfold on.”

This entire night already had you feeling good, and you played along. “Is this something kinky, Cord?”

You felt his hand settle on your thigh. “Not that I don’t want to get kinky with you, baby, but not tonight.”

You put your hand over his and moved your fingers lightly over his long, thick ones.  That was part of the beauty of Cordell. His hands were strong. You’d seen those fingers wrapped around a rope while he rode a bull. His hands were strong enough to keep him on the back of that massive animal. 

They were also gentle. When he touched you, he made you feel like something precious, and his gentle touch could set you on fire. You shifted slightly in your seat at the thought.

The truck came to a stop, and Cordell cut the engine. “Sit tight, baby. I’ll be right around to get you.”

It was only a few seconds before your door opened, and Cordell’s hand was on your arm to help you out of the truck. “Watch your step, darlin’.”

The ground was a little uneven beneath your feet. It made you wonder where you were. After a few steps, Cordell stopped you and put his hands on your shoulders, turning you to face the direction he wanted.

You could feel him untying the bandana at the back of your head, and it slipped from your eyes. When you saw the landscape in front of you, your mouth fell open; and you put your hand over it. “Cord, you didn’t.”

His smile was so big it brought his dimples out to play. “Happy Anniversary, baby.” His arms circled around your waist, and he pushed your hair to the side so he could kiss the back of your neck. 

You closed your eyes, enjoying the feel of his soft lips on your skin. “Cordell, that’s really romantic, but it isn’t our anniversary. He opened his mouth a little to suck on your neck.

“Yes, it is. It’s the anniversary of when we almost had sex on prom night. Right here.” You opened your eyes to take a good look at the lake. This was the exact spot he’d brought you after the prom when you had just turned sixteen and he was the dashing older boy who was way too cute and adorable. You hadn’t had a chance and had fallen for him hard.

You smiled at his attempt to be sentimental. He never had been good with dates. “Cord, this isn’t the right day.”

He turned you in his arms and pulled you up against him. “Well, it was April,” he said, “and you looked beautiful that night.” He smiled when he said it, and it made him more handsome and more charming than any man had a right to be.

You laughed. This man had always had the talent to make you happy, even when he was a boy. “Yes, it was April.”

He kissed you slowly with a touch of tease, promising something more to come. Cordell lifted his lips from yours, and he smiled at you again. “I thought we could have a do over. Maybe I’ll be luckier tonight than I was then.” He grinned at you with a particular gleam in his eye.

You licked your lips. “As I recall, you were the one who put the brakes on that night.”

He chuckled. “I did, but I had a very good reason for that.”

You slid your hand down to grip his ass. “And what reason was that?”

He lowered his head, and you could have sworn you saw him blush behind the beard. “I had no idea what I was doin’ because... I was a virgin.”

You’d never known that. Girls were all over Cordell in high school. You’d just assumed.

He nodded toward the bed of his truck. “Would you let me try to make things a little better for you than they were that night?”

For a second you forgot to respond because the moonlight was shining in his gray blue eyes. “You left me aching for you, Cord.” You said it with a touch of lightheartedness, but it was the absolute truth.

His smile was hypnotizing, his eyes serious.“You weren’t the only one who was aching.”

You put your hand on his cheek. “Let’s make sure that doesn’t happen tonight.”

He nuzzled that sweet spot beneath your ear. “I’m not going to leave you wantin’ for anything tonight, babygirl.”

Then Cordell took your hand and led you over to the back of the truck. He lowered the tailgate and climbed inside. There was a rolled up sleeping bag that he unfurled and laid out across the bed. Then he reached for your hand and helped you up.

He sat down, leaned his back against the cab, stretched his legs out in front of him and extended his hand in invitation to you. You took his offered hand in yours and sat down next to him, tucking your legs beneath you.

Cordell put his arm around you, pulling you close, and you put your head on his shoulder. It seemed that all the stars were out tonight, and it was even more romantic than that night all those years ago had been. If that was even possible, because you had been head over heels in your first love then.

That first love had never left you. He’d moved on, and you had tried. You’d even moved away from Austin for a while. It had just been too painful to see him with Emily, but moving to another state or anything else you’d tried had never erased him from your memory. No other man had ever measured up to him.

You let yourself just feel this moment. Cordell’s arm was around you. He was choosing you, and you wouldn’t ponder too much on if his decision would be the same if Emily were still alive. He was with you now.

You buried your nose into his neck and inhaled his scent, wanting nothing more than to lose yourself in him. He kissed the top of your head and asked, “Hey, you okay.”

His instincts were good. What else could you expect from a Texas Ranger? “I’m fine, Cord. I was just thinking.”

He combed his fingers through your hair. “What ARE you thinking?”

You turned your head to kiss his neck. It wasn’t possible to say it out loud. You couldn’t tell him how much he actually meant to you, how you really felt about him. In your mind, you were still second choice to Emily. If she were still alive, you wouldn’t even be here. That knowledge didn’t encourage a complete reveal of your feelings for him.

Instead, you told him “I was just thinking about that night.” 

Cordell laced his fingers through yours. “Will you tell me what you were thinking?”

You chewed on your bottom lip for a minute, contemplating how much you should share with him at this point in your relationship. Part of you knew how he felt about you, even if he hadn’t said it. Another part of you knew he was focused on his kids right now, and you supported him in that. They had lost their mother, and Cordell was doing his best to help them through that. You loved him even more BECAUSE he was a good father.

It was that third part of you that was causing you so much trouble. Emily might be gone, but the specter of her loomed large in your mind. You’d been Cordell’s girlfriend first, sort of, but then Emily had come sweeping into his life and just like a spring storm that was fast and furious; she popped up out of nowhere. It wasn’t entirely unexpected. It was bound to happen; some girl was going to capture his heart, and in so doing she had destroyed all your dreams of a future with him.

That wasn’t really fair. She hadn’t meant you any harm. Chances were she barely even knew of your existence. Cordell had followed her around like a puppy. It was clear he was enamored with her, and the friendship you had with him that might have blossomed into something else was all but forgotten. He was busy with someone else, and that still stung. You were a grown woman, and it still hurt. There was a young girl inside you who had never stopped loving him, and she was a part of the woman you had become.

You’re being ridiculous, Y/N. He’s here with you now. Are you going to let your teenage broken heart get in the way of that?

It was time to expose yourself to him a little more, let him know what you had felt for him, maybe even what you were feeling now, trust him. You squeezed his hand to reassure yourself he truly was there. This wasn’t a dream you would wake up from and feel the other side of the bed, only to discover it was empty. 

You took a breath and told him one of the secrets you had been holding inside. “That was one of the best nights of my life. I had a huge crush on you.” Crush. That word would do for now, until your relationship was in a place that you could reveal the entire truth.

He shifted to look at you. The grin on his face was adorable and oblivious. “A crush? Really?”

“Yes, Cord. I thought you were the cutest boy I’d ever seen, and that night you were so handsome. A tux is a good look on you.” You put your head down on his shoulder because what you’d told him made you feel a little vulnerable and because you could. After so long, you could be close with him like this again.

“I thought you were so pretty. I couldn’t believe you were with me.” Hearing him say that made you get all soft inside. “I meant what I said about a do over. I wish I’d done things differently that night.”

Butterflies started to flutter in your stomach just like you were sixteen again. “What would you have done differently?”

He tilted your chin up with fingers. His eyes, that always kept you guessing about what color they would be, had turned the deepest of grays without a trace of blue. “Why don’t I show you?” 

He dipped his head down to touch his mouth to yours. His lips parted slightly, and you opened yours in response. Cordell’s tongue glided around yours, and you felt yourself falling even more deeply into him. 

When he pulled away from you, the expression on his face was as soft as the warm April breeze caressing your skin. You looked at each other for several long seconds before he turned and lifted the blanket that was piled in the corner of the truck bed to reveal a picnic basket. He lifted the top and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. 

He held it up so you could read the label. “Remember this?” he asked. 

You smiled and shook your head, but not because you didn’t remember. Every detail of that night was etched in your mind. You were amazed he remembered so much. The shaking of your head turned into a nod. “I do remember. That was the first time I ever tasted whiskey. It felt like my throat was on fire.” You laughed softly at yourself and the memory.

Cordell reached into the basket to retrieve something else. He’d brought glasses. It was the same kind of whiskey, but he’d upped his game. That night you passed the bottle back and forth, drinking straight out of it. He opened the bottle, poured some into a glass and handed it to you. Then he poured a glass for himself. 

He held up his glass before taking a drink. “To second chances.”

You clinked your glass against his and took a sip. “What do you remember about that night, Cord?”

He took a big drink from his glass and got a faraway look in his eyes. “I remember how nervous I was. I thought we were gonna...you know.”

Your voice dropped to a whisper. “Why didn’t we? I would have. Why did you stop?”

Cordell’s eyes searched yours, like maybe he was weighing how much he should tell you too. “Because I...uh...I was afraid of hurting you, in more ways than one.” He dropped his eyes. “I had a condom in my wallet, and it just felt too calculated. Prom night. This place, a lake and the stars overhead. It was like I set you up. I didn’t want to take advantage of you.”

You put your hand over his where it was resting on his thigh. “Cordell, just because you were prepared doesn’t mean you were taking advantage of me; you were taking care of me. Neither one of us was ready for a baby then.” 

He raised his eyes to meet yours again. You wanted to ask him why it had never happened, not even after that night, but you didn’t. You knew. Emily. She was the one who’d had his babies. It was barely a month after that night that she’d entered his life.

Cordell’s voice snatched you out of your troubling thoughts, back to the here and now. “It wasn’t because I didn’t want you, Y/N. I did. I went home and...took care of the raging hard on I had while I thought about you.” You saw him swallow hard. 

You ran your fingertip around the rim of your glass, suddenly feeling bold. “Tell me, Cord, exactly what did you think about?”

He finished his whiskey in a gulp, put his glass down, and settled his hands on your hips. “I thought about you, your mouth, how it felt kissing you, and... what else you could do with your mouth.”

You dipped your finger into your glass, then dragged it across Cordell’s lips, leaving them wet. He tasted of bourbon when you kissed him and whispered against his mouth “Tell me more.”

Cordell’s breathing was noticeably heavier. “I imagined what it would feel like to be inside you, how warm and tight you’d be, and I pretended it was your hand on me.”

You tossed your glass and the remainder of its contents past Cordell’s shoulder and over the side of the truck. It hit the ground with a thud. With both of your hands now free, you unzipped Cordell’s fly and reached inside to cradle his cock in your hand.

He hissed in a breath as you worked his cock out of his boxers and through the opening in his jeans. When it was free, you stuck three of your fingers into your mouth to get them wet. Then you wrapped them around his dick that was beginning to harden and started to stroke. “Is this what you imagined?”

Cordell dropped his head back. “Fuck, baby. This is so...much...better.”

His cock grew hard under the soft velvety smoothness of his skin. “You feel so damn good, babygirl.”

Your strokes got slower. “It can feel even better. Why don’t you do what you wanted to do that night?”

Cordell opened his eyes. He held your cheek in his hand then brushed your hair from your face. “You’ve even more beautiful now than you were then, Y/N.”

You’d been dating Cordell for months now. This certainly wasn’t the first time you’d been together, but in many ways it felt like it. Maybe it was the place; maybe it was the way he was looking at you, like you were the only woman for him. You believed that. He’d made you believe it during this time you’d reconnected, with moments and gestures just like the one he was making tonight.

He lifted your shirt off over your head, and you felt a chill run through you; but it wasn’t because it was cold. It was because you were filled with excitement and anticipation, as though the clock truly had turned back. 

You’d bought a matching bra and panty set for tonight, and you were glad of it. When Cordell saw your blue satin and lace bra, he inhaled sharply. You had never forgotten it was his favorite color. He ran his thumb along the top edge of your bra cup, then lowered his head to kiss the swell of your breast rising over the top of the bra.

“You are so soft, baby.” He raised his head to nuzzle that spot below your ear while he reached around to unhook your bra. “You smell good too.”

He slipped the bra straps from your shoulders, and your breasts spilled free. Cordell cupped them in his hands, kneading them in his calloused fingers. You moaned when he flicked his thumbs over your nipples. “God, Cordell.” Your moan got deeper when he sucked one into your mouth. 

His warm mouth closed over your nub, and the way his tongue was circling over it, caused you to clench. Your walls were fluttering around the emptiness, and you were close to begging him. 

Cordell’s mouth left your breast, and you felt the loss, but you were distracted by watching him take off his shirt. His body had changed since he was younger, and was it ever breathtaking. His shoulders were even more broad, his waist still trim. The muscles in his arms, shoulders, chest, and stomach were more defined. Your mouth literally watered looking at him.

His cock was fully hard now, protruding through the opening in his jeans and underwear. It was magnificent. No matter how many times you saw it, you would never get used to just how big it was, and you couldn’t see it without thinking about the way it felt inside you when it was stretching you open. 

You wanted him out of the rest of his clothes so you could see that cock, standing hard and thick against his stomach. Once you’d gotten his clothes down around his hips, Cordell took them the rest of the way off, including his boots and socks.

His naked body drew you to it like a magnet. The hair on his chest was soft on your breasts, and your fingers tangled in his hair while he kissed you passionately, further stoking the fire in your core. You shimmied out of your jeans and panties, wanting all of his bare skin next to yours.

Cordell’s hands traveled down your back while his mouth continued to claim yours. You dropped your mouth from his to kiss his neck. “Cord, are we going to get caught doing this?”

There was a smile on his lips as he guided your mouth to his again. “Are you afraid you’ll get arrested? I’ve got some handcuffs if you want to practice.”

He’d made you laugh again and put you completely at ease. “I thought you said no kinky stuff tonight.”

He nibbled at your neck where it met your shoulder. “Right. Later then.” 

Cordell guided you down to the sleeping bag. You were on your back, and his eyes were traveling up and down the length of your body. “You are so fucking gorgeous naked in the moonlight like this.”

You bit your bottom lip like the shy schoolgirl you used to be. “So are you.”

Cordell lowered himself over you and whispered in your ear. “Tell me how you want it.”

You played with the curls at the nape of his neck. “Slow at first, but I want everything you have, Cord. Don’t hold anything back from me.”

At first, all you felt was the blunt head of his cock at your entrance. Then he pushed into you slowly, just like you’d asked. He kissed your neck and your ear, told you how much he wanted you, and looked into your eyes while he moved inside you. 

When his thrusts speeded up, you felt your orgasm getting closer, and you closed your eyes. You felt him raise your hand over your head and thread his fingers through yours. “Open your eyes, baby. Look at me. I want to see you when you come around me.”

You slowly lifted your eyelids. Your breath was escaping your mouth in small little gasps.  Cord’s eyes had changed to the color of a honey kissed chocolate. He was so gorgeous, perfect in so many ways, and everything you had ever wanted. 

His eyes were locked on yours, and they held a soft intensity in them that you knew you would remember and see when you closed your own eyes. The sound of his voice nearly sent you over the edge. “I’m so close, baby. I want you to come with me. Will you be a good girl and do that?”

“Yes, Cord.” You held onto him tightly. His next thrust scraped across your g-spot, and your body began to spasm and squeeze his dick buried so deep inside you. Cordell released his hot come into you with a grunt followed by a deep groan.

He collapsed onto his forearms, keeping his full weight off you. You could feel the light sheen of sweat on his back, and it was satisfying knowing you had put it there. Cordell nuzzled his nose on your cheek. “You okay, darlin’?”

“Mmmmm. Hmmmmm.” You wanted to stay here like this with him forever, just the two of you under the stars. 

When he rolled off you, you followed and settled your head on his chest. Cordell reached for the blanket and covered you both with it. You kissed his chest and whispered, “That was perfect.”

He was running his fingers lightly up and down your back. “Yeah. It was.”

You lay that way for a few minutes, enjoying the feel of his touch on your skin. He was unusually quiet. Finally you asked, “Cord, what is it?”

He shifted and propped himself up on his side. You sat up a little so you could see him better. Cordell reached for you and traced his fingertip down the edge of your cheek. “Y/N, I…” You waited, your breathing speeding up again. “I...love you.”

Before this moment the concept of forgetting to breathe had seemed like an exaggeration to you, but now you understood it. He put his fingers over your lips. “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know.”

You leaned in to kiss him, not trusting yourself to say anything just yet. For twenty years, you had waited to hear him say just that. Now that he had, it was overwhelming. It was like a dream. What followed was the sweetest and most meaningful kiss of your life so far. Cordell loved you. You were being kissed by a man who loved you, the man you had always wanted to love you.

While you were kissing, he lay you back down. When you opened your eyes, you were facing each other, heads on the pillows he had brought. He played with the hair at the side of your face, twisting it around his finger. “I wanted to be your first, Y/N. I wish I had been.”

“I wish you had been too, Cord.” You sighed, still trying to believe what had just happened. What did it mean? But you refused to let your head intrude on this moment. This one was for your heart, the heart that had been longing for him since you were a girl. Now, he was yours. That was enough. You’d figure out the rest later. 

Everything: @gambitwinchester @princessmisery666 @onethirstyunicorn @peridottea91 @logical-princey @emilyshurley @beenlovingromansincedayoneish @fangirlxwritesx67 @waywardbaby @atc74 @shaniquacynthia @mariekoukie6661 @tumbler-tidbits @67-chevy-baby @fandom-princess-forevermore @terrarium-jpeg @emoryhemsworth @crashdevlin @jules-1999 @cosicas-cuquis @sammyimpala-67 @queenoftheunderdark @dean-winchesters-bacon @timelordy-fangirl2 @sweetness47 @hobby27 @awesomesusiebstuff @kickingitwithkirk @becs-bunker @sandlee44 @supernaturalgrandma @dawnie1988 @volleyballer519 @kdfrqqg @lizette50 @daisymoder72 @sorenmarie87 @lovealways-j @mrswhozeewhatsis @spnbaby-67 @wayward-and-worn @asthesunwentdown @vulgar-library​ @petitgateau911​ @thinkinghardhardlythinking​ 

Walker: @spnwoman​ @sammysnaughtygirl​ @putowtin​

Sam/Jared: @girl-next-door-writes​ @stunudo​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @idabbleincrazy​ @evansrogerskitten​ @focusonspn​ @autumninavonlea​ @durinsbride​ @deansyahtzee​ @wendibird​ @waywardnerd67​ @fullmooner​ @julesthequirky​ @sams-sass​ @beskaradberoya​ @fromsamwtocordellw​

[trans-reader-fics]

Guesses and Sweaters - 2 - Criminal Minds x Trans!Reader (he/him)

TW/CW: Most of the stuff from part one, sex jokes.

Summary: (y/n) comes out to the rest of the team, and they make plans for the big day. I’m so sorry it took so long to update, I got kinda busy. I also wrote a whole lot of exposition considering how much I absolutely hate writing exposition. 

Anyways! It currently seems like this is going to be a trilogy! Sorry in advance for the stupid long time it might take for the various part threes to come out-- I’m planning on writing separate endings for Reid, Morgan, Hotch, Prentiss, and JJ. If y'all want, I'll write stuff for Garcia and/or Rossi too, but neither of them have been in this story too much. 

Part 1

--------------------------------------

I made sure to keep my back to the team for the rest of the night. It was harder than it sounded, attempting to prevent a group of profilers from profiling me. And it didn’t sound easy. “(y/n),” Morgan shouted across the room. “Cmon, tell us where you’ve been sneaking off to all day! Got a pretty little secret?” He laughed, earning a slap on the head from Emily. He pouted for a moment before sauntering over to my desk. He stood next to me, in exactly the spot I had tried so hard to avoid being seen from. He looked me up and down, noting how tense I was, and noting that my figure was different than usual. 

“Shut up,” I grumbled, spinning my chair to face the opposite direction. He backed off, the wheels turning in his mind. He sat back down, your phone beeping a moment later. plz dont be mad, but should i be using different pronouns for u -dm 

I laughed at the text, it being the second time I’ve gotten that question. if ur asking about my gender, i’m a guy. if ur asking about my chest, dont be alarmed, itll be gone soon. I texted back playfully, turning to watch the amused look on his face. He rolled his eyes and smiled in my direction. 

got it. who else knows & should i tell anyone -dm

I paused for a moment. Did I want him to do the coming out for me? It was sweet of him to ask, and I wasn’t looking forward to telling Rossi. Emily and JJ would be fine, I knew, considering they had both been open about their queerness before. After a few drinks, they were very willing to discuss their encounters with women. hotch and spence do, and if u want to tell rossi for me, no complaints here. 

making me do the dirty work, huh sugar? -dm He jokingly winked at me, causing me to flip him off. The faux wounded look on his face made me burst into giggles. 

“Okay,” Emily stood up. “Is anyone else feeling left out right now?” Spencer glanced over at me with concern in his eyes, and I smiled at him. It’s ok, I texted. But it’s sweet of you to worry.

I don’t worry. -S

Okay, I worry, but it’s not a big deal. -S

You sure you’re okay? -S

“It’s Morgan’s fault,” I groaned in response to the growing elephant in the room. “It’s all Morgan’s fault.”

Tired of my shit, Emily and JJ both stood, practically dragging me to the break room. “(y/n), spill.” JJ smiled, giving me that look that only mothers can give. “You’ve been acting weird all day.”

“Yeah, you stayed late with Reid yesterday, and today you show up wearing his sweater, and” Emily slapped a hand over her mouth. “Are you two...” she trailed off, but the rest of the question was clear.

“No,” I shouted playfully, laughing so hard that tears sprang to my eyes. “God, Prentiss, we aren’t sleeping together.” I took a moment to collect my breath, barely able to explain myself without giggling. “Someone- someone called me a slur in the subway and Spencer gave me his cardigan and God, this is such a dumb way to come out.”

They stood there in confused silence before snickering quietly. “(y/n),” Emily held her face in her hands. “First of all, why did someone call you a slur, second of all, what, pray tell, are you coming out as, and THIRD,” she places her hands on my shoulders, feigning seriousness. “He gave you his cardigan. Just sleep with him already.”

JJ nearly collapsed on the floor at that. “I second that, but I’m not so sure that a cardigan would be the reason.”

I sprawled out over the table, gently hitting my head on it. “Well first of all I’m trans. And if a single,” I looked up, “single one of you asks if you should use different pronouns for me, I’m turning into an unsub. I got called a slur because I accidentally wore a jacket with the trans flag on it, and so he gave me his sweater.”

They didn’t bat an eye at me coming out, smiling and nodding along. “Did Reid threaten to shoot the guy? I would’ve shot him.” Emily looked me dead in the eye, and I believed her.

“God, I hate profilers. Yes, he threatened to shoot the guy.” They turned to face me, laughing at the way I was lying on the desk. 

“Okay, but why are you coming out now,” Emily paced across the room. “We never noticed, you didn’t have to come out, so why?”

“Well,” I glanced around the room excitedly. “I’m getting top surgery next month.” Immediately, they perked up and hugged me.

“I’m so excited for you,” JJ grinned. “Seriously. Who else knows? I’m throwing an office party.”

I rolled my eyes affectionately. “Everyone but Rossi, I think. Well, Morgan doesn’t know when, but he knows.”

“Will you need someone to help you out after? Because I will,” she pointed threateningly at Hotch’s office. “I will force Hotch to give me time off to take care of you.” JJ nodded in agreement. 

“Honestly,” I paused. “I have no clue what I’m going to do. Cause something tells me that the team isn’t gonna let me do this all on my own.”

“Well no shit, (y/n),” Morgan strode in, putting his hand on my shoulder. “Besides, I doubt Hotch would let two agents be away the whole time. We can all pitch in.”

I rolled my eyes, but he was right. “Yeah,” I conceded. “Yeah, okay. Y’all can babysit me in shifts, I guess.”

“That’s my boy,” He grinned. “So, I heard JJ mention a party?” 

I groaned dramatically, pouring a large cup of coffee and stumbling back to my desk. 

Good luck telling Rossi. -S

I turned in my chair to glare directly at Spencer. “Bold of you to assume that I’m ever telling Rossi.”

“Telling Rossi what?” He strolled around the corner and winked at me.

“Speak of the fucking devil,” I slammed my head down onto my desk, wincing almost immediately. “Great. Might as well rip the bandaid off. Hey Rossi, what starts with ‘T’ and ends in ‘rans’? Me. It’s me.”

The entire room went silent, and I realized that the entire team had gathered in the bullpen. I raised my head slowly, and flashed a tired peace sign at the older Italian.

“Well that’s a hell of a way to come out,” Morgan broke the silence. 

“So why didn’t you want to tell me,” he walked over and placed a hand on my shoulder. “What, you think I’m religious or something? The crosses are only in my apartment to ward off the vampires.”

I started to laugh uncontrollably. It started with a quiet chuckle, and built until I could barely breathe and I was crying. “JJ, can we make it a vampire themed party?”

She nodded with an amused exhale, and one by one, we all went back to our desks to do paperwork.

The next month was the simultaneously the longest and shortest of my life. But soon enough, I was packing a bag for the hospital and shaking with excitement. After years and years of waiting, I was finally going to be free from binding, I would be able to swim again, walk around shirtless in my apartment. I had been getting texts from my friends wishing me luck, and the team promised that they’d all be there when I woke up. So I counted down from 100, lying in a gown in the operating room, and the next thing I knew, I could see the blurry outlines of the team gathered around me.