#on trying to keep still
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"I didn't die. I swung about like a vervet monkey on a liana. It was fun—or such a relief that it felt like fun. But decades on, it turns out that I've discovered an even greater thrill and more pervasive satisfaction than ever higher falls or even the certainty of God; I simply walk away from the complete person I could have and live thrillingly with the vertiginous knowledge of all the opportunities I have turned down to make me the curtailed person I am today."
—Jenny Diski, from "On Falling" in On Trying to Keep Still (2006)
#quote#quotes#personality#jenny diski#falling#travel#on trying to keep still#opportunity#possibility
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guy who's stuck in a timeloop for so long he stops wanting to leave it. guy who started out trying to escape but slowly grew used to and became comforted by the familiarity of the repeating day. guy who is no longer who he was before the timeloop. guy who is offered a way out and violently refuses it because he can't leave, doesn't want to leave. guy who escapes the timeloop by chance or force or accident and doesn't know how to live anymore. guy who keeps going through motions that don't match the situation and keeps having conversations that aren't actually occurring. guy who panics every time he realizes he can't predict the next instant. guy who left the timeloop but still lives with it.
#the cryptid speaks#time loop#ik there's been talk of the trope '[x] never left the timeloop' but what about [x] who never Wanted to leave the timeloop#like astronauts who come back to earth and keep trying to let go of things midair#former timelooper who is still expecting to know your next sentence; to predict the next major event; to survive everything
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Listen man, you guys can't be like "you guys need to be normal about asexuality" and then turn around and get weirdly judgemental when you find out someone doesn't have sex by choice. Like that's weird that some of you do that.
#like I love sex im glad we're hyping it up#but also genuinely some of you have got to learn how to be normal around people who dont want to have sex#even if you're not talking about asexuality when you say stuff like that you're still being a weirdass#im not ace myself but i keep seeing posts that come across like they're taking it personally that other people don't want to have sex#it sounds like theyre trying to prove something to someone
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As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.
For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.
But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.
Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.
#I'm so proud and happy for my coworker and I've been trying to figure out how to let him know how amazing I think he is#what gets me the most is that he's keeping this super down low to avoid giving any hints to his kid#he has a lot of queer friends so he already is known as an ally but there's always a chance it will be different if it's family#and he took that chance and crumpled it up into a ball and slam dunked it into the garbage for three points#and decided that even if his kid wants to hide it from him for the rest of his life he will still do what he can to make their life better#pflag#parents doing their best#parenting win#good news#allyship
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Company Mandated Fancy Fits on the Tulpar 😏
Also had to include the REAL star of the show (and a bonus)


Based off of this and this. Thank you very much joetastic for being inspirational 👍
The REAL reason this is late

#just pretend I posted this like 6 days ago 😁👍#<-got distracted#sorry I’m Afflicted with The Curse and everything just takes me a long time#also right now I’m just kind of being experimental with my workflow and style right now so stuff is just naturally taking a bit longer#mouthwashing#mouthwashing fanart#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#nurse anya#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing curly#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#myart#anyway my new years resolution is to put more WOMEN in SUITS and MEN in DRESSES#had fun drawing this but still not too sure about the rendering style just yet. probably just gonna keep playing around with shit#IM DOING IT SCARED but im DOING IT#im also still trying to figure out how to Social Media#am i doing it right#GRAAAHHHHHHH I NEED TO BETTER UNDERSTAND FORMATTING POSTS#i have a more serious mouthwashing piece in the works but wanted to get this done first lol#honestly I have a buncha sketches I should post too#i like them but they’re not really composited very well if you catch my drift. been having trouble with sketch page layout recently#which is kind of antithetical to the idea of a sketch page but you know how it is with spaghetti#i doodled the others on the side and liked how they looked so i just put some color and basic shading on them#edit: realized i forgot to change the color of the ‘lapel’ on jims shirt lol
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mission critical hand holding
+ maybe less mission critical hand holding
#been fighting a mini art block sorry guys 💔#still thinking about them always#also trying to lock in and working on some bigger pieces coming up soon ... keep ur eye out#redd scribbles#superbat#dc#batman#superman#redbeeart
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I was reading some transformers fanfiction and it's a solely underutilized idea to have humans and Cybertronians be in a symbiotic relationship. In nature all the time big animals will rely on smaller animals' help.
For example humans could give repairs, clean them, and help them reach smaller places. Cybertronians can give transportation and protection of course. They're emotional benefits too; humans are really nice soft things to touch and humans like having big robot friends :3.
So I'm imagining transformers realize how useful it is to have a human partner around so they start going around trying to get one. Anyways this leads to shenanigans of course and a lot of cracky moments.
Suspiciously nice looking car in a driveway with its door opened: ....
The random human who owns the driveway: ...
Human: *turns around* Screw that! I'm not becoming part of the human distribution system today, no sir I am not.
Cybertronian: *sad beeping noises*
#transformers#autobots#it be very funny if humans are the equivalent to cats for transformers#noah x mirage#there's no war but there's still beef between autbots and decprticons#spelled that wrong i know#Megatron#he even wants a human#so he keeps trying to steal ones#optimus prime#bumblebee#i only know stuff from fanfiction so please don't judge me to much#sam witwicky
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michael shelley I would die for you
#some recent warmups I cleaned up and colored#they’re the only thing keeping me sane at this point#basically the what a week huh? captain it’s wednesday meme#thinking about michael’s fate actually makes me feel miserable#he deserved so much better :(#anyways trying to figure out my pre distortion michael design before i commit to it in a full illustration#still 50/50 on it though 🤷#the magnus archives#tma#michael shelley#tma michael#michael distortion#gerry keay#gerard keay#gerry delano#tma gerry#gerrymichael#doorkeay#technically not but ya know#my art#fanart#sketch#digital art#tma fanart#magpod
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oversaturate
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jjk yuuji#been trying some stuff out in an attempt to beat the artblock out of myself with hammers#and i LOVE how it looks but god it takes so long painting like this#i had a ref style i was going for that was a lot more washed out and watercoloury#and to be fair my take on it did start out looking more adjacent to that#u can still kinda see remnants of the initial watercolour washes in the collar of yuuji's jacket in th bottom one#but it Did Not Last fhdjfjjg what can i say im a gouache/oils gal#i can't use soft greys and watery inks i need stark blacks i need the reddest red the colour wheel will provide#one thing i did keep from the refs were the sharp prickly fine lines i think those look real cool against textured colour blocks#anyway ive also been having a lot of fun playing with rly rly harsh lighting on the hair#and even thinner linework put down after the colour as opposed to before#probably one of the reasons why it takes a lot longer but also it mimics traditional art a lot more#ill probably continue playing around with this sort of render ! or at least keep elements of it
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Final manifestations for Book 7?
I'm trying REALLY hard not to build up any solid expectations, because I wanna go in ~fresh~! they're already so far away from anything I thought would happen (not in a bad way, I'm just accepting that I'm on Miss Yana's Wild Ride at this point and we're seeing this thing through 'til the end, by gum). so it's nothing too major, but:
they've been handing new crying expressions out like candy lately, I want to see some delicious Malleus tears.
honestly I want everyone to cry buckets. their tears sustain me. the more Silver angst specifically I get the happier I am.
SILVER!!!! 👏 VANROUGE!!!! 👏
just let him have this. the poor boy's been through so much. let him have his big "I'm proud of you, son" moment with Lilia.
I'm 100% expecting Grim's arc (and probably whatever's going on with Crowley) to be its own episode, but a nice hook to leave us hanging on would be good!
a nice hook though, please, I don't think I can take another "Grim is attacking us! now wait eight months to find out what happens :)" cliffhanger...
some Meleanor? as a treat? just a little bit, a tiny quick flashback or something, please Twst I just, I just want to see her again. let her have a little ghost cameo like Dawnathan Knight got. Lilia and his kids are all having their big group hug or whatever and she can gently fade in to be all like
(turning asks off until I'm done playing, SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE Y'ALL)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 13 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 13 spoilers#one last chance for me to be wrong about everything!#(no it's good i am enjoying it SO much) (just stomping right down on all of my personal like buttons with its whole weight)#(it's just also VERY good at totally subverting all of my expectations)#i don't think we're actually gonna get a permanently dehorned malleus though#just because it feels like an insane thing to remove the most iconic part of one of the most iconic characters of the game#but i could see like...a temporary thing ala raisin vil#or a permanent smaller change like cracks/chips or something (kintsugi horns would be super cool actually)#but i do think it's more likely we'll find some way to keep the status quo re:horn design#if this was the END-end of all of twst then maybe but they still wanna sell merch of this guy so they can't change his design TOO much#i am sorta wondering if he might get a bit of a power nerf though? take him down from ridiculously overpowered to just normal overpowered#idk they made a point of saying the horns were specifically what caused the weather stuff#and the weather stuff has been called out in particular as one of the reasons why mal being so stupidly magical makes him pretty unhappy#everyone's scared of him all the time and he has to actively try not to accidentally kill people when he gets upset#so. idk. maybe it was just a little worldbuilding. but i thought it was interesting they brought that up was all!#me: i'm not going to form any expectations (writes a whole thing speculating on the fate of malleus' horns)#look it's now or never okay#that end of episode rhythmic better be SO cute because i'm already losing my entire head over this
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The FNAF Mikes talk about their extended family..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#mike schmidt#henry emily#aunt jane#fnaf movie#fnaf pizzeria simulator#fnaf fanart#AUNT JANE FINALLY MENTIOMED 🔥🔥#tbh I didn’t mean for it to take this long just to draw Jane but here we are#I still got a handful of fnaf movie characters I still gotta draw BAHA#one day I’ll do em all#THIS IS a lil joke of comparing Michael and Mike’s extended family relationships#it’s actually kinda interesting we don’t get much insight into Michael and Henry#but I always kinda assumed Henry was close enough to the family to be considered family#so to Michael Henry is his uncle#and they have a complicated relationship in their later years#WHILE MIKE knows aunt Jane and doesn’t like her BAHAH#she did keep trying to bank off Abby#and sent a crew to vandalize his work to get him fired#SO YEAH UNDERSTANDABLE they don’t have the strongest relationship 💀💀#the differences are pretty funny though.. ones angsty and the other is almost comedic#no shade to aunt Jane btw we love awful women here 🙏🏾
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The Sun and The Moon
more of the self-indulgent experimentation with the cosmic knights, heheh <3
#mshenko#mass effect#commander shepard#kaidan alenko#john shepard#more of the knights#bc i wanted to gift myself a free day of drawing whatever I want and experiment for my bday a week ago#i wanted to try something simpler while also-- keeping it mine#not to mention i'm still frustrated by not getting a bamf kaidan in canon#i know he doesn't cast singularity but it's SO pretty to look at and he's a hardworking man#he'd learn#when i realized i could substitute Shep's omniblade by a flaming sword my brain exploded#i'm still on the warrior/paladin kick heheh#i had massive amount of fun with these#i know i've been using the sun and moon symbology a little bit too much lately but i honestly dont care <3#las!art
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Book 2 au: sparring sessions and short hair katara
They like to have sparring sessions in order to keep their bending skills sharp. They allow themselves to go all out and not hold back at all cause they know if anyone got hurt, Katara could just heal them
But anyways, wouldn't it be kinda funny if Zuko accidentally burned Katara's hair tho? Aofkqldkkajfjd
The "I think we can save the hairloops" line is from @linnoya-writes thank you for that!! :>>
#zutara#zuko#katara#atla#book 2 au#my art#i mentioned in my last book 2 au post that i wanted to include short hair katara into it and y'all were so supportive of it!! 😭😭😭#so this is how i think it would go#it would happen as katara is trying to evade one of zuko's fire balls#she manages to avoid it but since her hair is long it still caught on fire#she'd be pissed so she water whips the hell out of zuko#and then promptly forgets about it akfhkakdkakdj#even after the sparring session she still hasn't remembered cause 'oh no zuko's in pain i have to help him!'#it isn't until zuko even mentions it that she remembers#zuko thinks she's more calm than i thought she would be after burning her hair so he mentions it to her#little did he know katara just forgor aldjlakdkaljd#n e ways zuko does feel bad so she offers to help fix it up for her#i think after the haircut katara would find herself looking in mirrors when there are any around cause 'zuko thinks i'm beautiful?? really?#zuko doesn't know this tho and he thinks katara is till sad about the unwanted haircut so he keeps telling her that she looks beautiful#and katara just keeps losing it aldjlakdlald#in conclusion they are idiots your honor
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Chat is this true
#posting this bc i'm trying to keep it together#everyday is mental health awareness day#project your problems into your faves#i still haven't got time to do anything fun for myself agh#twisted wonderland#ventique rambles#twst memes#diasomnia#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#silver vanrouge#sebek zigvolt
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since I've seen it talked about in several places recently:
if you are going to do a whump- or kink- or ANY-tober or other similar challenges please please please don't post them as one fic with 31 chapters unless it actually is one coherent fic. if they're 31 completely separate fics or ficlets then please just make a collection for them or just post them as separate fics. it doesn't matter if they're only 100 words or if you think they're too small or insignificant to post alone, they're not.
and why this?
because if you post all 31 of them in one fic the tagging is absolutely useless. if I look for things to read on ao3 I'm gonna look at the tags, and if the tags include something that's a dealbreaker for me, i won't even click on the fic. I might not even SEE the fic because I've filtered out the nope-tag! so I'm gonna lose out on reading 30 perfectly nice fics because of one fic that my nope-tag applied to.
ao3 is about archiving. it's about clear tagging and being informative. there is nothing informative about it if the tags in the fic apply to random chapters while others have nothing to do with it. it makes so much more sense to have each work as an individual fic with its own individual tags and warnings, so readers can make informed choices.
of course, you do you. I can't police what other people decide to do. but personally, I find it incredibly frustrating to weed through 31 chapters to find the ones I actually want to read. so I don't. I automatically scroll past all works posted like that. and I know some others do, too.
there is absolutely no shame in posting short things on ao3. there is no minimum word count. no one is going to look at you funny if you post a small ficlet on its own, I promise. it's just going to make some readers very happy when they can actually find the things they want to read.
so, please. at least consider the upsides of posting each work as their own fic.
signed, one very frustrated fandom grandma.
#ao3#fanfic#fandom#I'm not trying to dictate what others do#so if you still wanna keep posting#completely unrelated works as chapters of one thing#then go for it#i'm not your mom#but please at least consider the alternative#and how much easier it'll be for people to#both find it and to make informed choices#of what they want to read
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We don’t talk enough about how Martin was likely mostly running the institute by himself (cuz Peter probably wasn’t all that helpful, Martin for sure never wants to see a spreadsheet again) while in a depressive episode AND manipulating Peter to make him think he’s on his side. Like holy fuck bro. It pisses me off when people act like he’s dumb because did we listen to the same show??
#I think about this like all the time#he does not get enough credit for all the shit he did honestly#plus he was keeping the institute safe from attacks#AND HE WAS TRYING TO PREVENT PETER FROM FUCKING VANISHING PEOPLE#and people still treat him like nothing but a sad puppy like OH MY GODDD#sorry guys he means a lot to me#tma martin#martin k blackwood#martin blackwood#the magnus archives#tma podcast#magnus archives#magpod#tma#milo ramblings
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