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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 313: Deku VS Lady Nagant

Previously on BnHA: Hawks’s super-hot badass murder senpai Lady Nagant showed up to fire a cupid’s arrow into my heart, and a bunch of literal bullets into my son. Deku was all “oh shit it’s Hawks’s super-hot badass murder senpai, what do I do, let me think back to Hawks’s advice for a sec.” Flashback!Hawks was all “anyway Deku so if my super-hot badass murder senpai ever shows up you’re basically screwed so you’d better abscond the fuck out of there.” Present!Deku was all “lol idek why I flashed back to that conversation since I’m just going to do the exact opposite of what Hawks said” and charged directly toward Nagant because WHY NOT. Overhaul was all “waah I need to get back to my boss who I put in a coma out of love” and Nagant was all “jesus christ why did I even bring you here” and had a flashback to AFO who was all “ILU NAGANT IMMA GIVE YOU AN EXTRA QUIRK SO PLEASE CAPTURE DEKU FOR ME PLEASE AND THANKS” and yeah. Shit is all over the place right now and I love it.

Today on BnHA: All Might gets attacked by a pair of discount assassins and is all “Call an ambulance! ...BUT NOT FOR ME” and it’s really badass but also I really wish he would stop tempting fate like this. Lady Nagant is all “[casually flies around town shooting shit]” and I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t read an entire chapter of just that. Deku is all, “[gets shot (≥_<)]” and releases a giant Smokescreen which prompts En to show up. En is all, “( •᷄⌓•᷅ ) (⌣̀ Δ⌣́) ( •̀_•́ )σ (¬､¬) (눈_눈)” which I consider to be a high point of both the chapter and of my life. The chapter ends with Deku using the Third’s quirk to launch a bunch of random objects at Nagant so that he can jump up and grab her arm all sneaky-like, and I’m sure this is going to prompt another week’s worth of discourse that I don’t care about at all, but fuck it, I’m having a good time.

OH WE’RE CUTTING BACK TO ALL MIGHT WELL THAT’S NICE I GUESS. CONGRATS ON NOT BEING DEAD

you named your car??

you named it Hercules??

I love you so much??

please marry me you giant fucking dork???

lmao speaking of huge fucking dorks

who the fuck are you clowns. la dee da we’re gonna murder All Might with our synchronized spear attack!! I mean... they’re clearly trying their best... maybe I should just be nice and politely hype them up like All Might is so clearly trying to do

like okay, but we all agree that this is actually the least intimidating attack any of us has ever seen, right?? these guys zipped up their hoodies all serious-like and are trying to attack All Might and Hercules with their Walmart tiki torches, but just, no?? right?? like the only way this could possibly be effective is if they were trying to kill All Might with secondhand embarrassment

“those are assassins” this is a VERY generous assessment, All Might

OH MY GOD THE TIKI TORCHES ACTUALLY KILLED THE FUCK OUT OF HERCULES

[slaps roof of car] this baby can fit so many weaponized festive backyard lighting solutions in it

and yet, even after watching this with my own two eyes, I still can’t take these dudes seriously. idek what it is. anyways r.i.p. Hercules, I loved you a lot but I guess you weren’t actually a very good armored car were you

omg they didn’t know it was All Might??

okay 1) for a moment there I was like “oh hey maybe they’re not so bad after all” but then a moment later it was like “ah nope, they are.” like, that was an interesting .06 second emotional journey there. anyways 2) All Might you have my permission to kick their asses for this disrespect, and 3) anyone else all of a sudden getting “wouldn’t this be an interesting time for Stain to suddenly show up” vibes?? no?? just me???

(ETA: hmm tbh I’ve still got those vibes and they haven’t gone away lol. Stain?? you out there buddy?? do you want to be cool for just once in your life. ball’s in your court pal.)

OH SNAP ALL MIGHT ARE YOU REALLY GONNA DO IT ARE YOU GONNA KICK THEIR ASSES

PROTECTIVE DAD MODE ACTIVATED?? BECAUSE YOU KNOW I’M HERE FOR THAT SHIT, SO YEAH, FEEL FREE

omg he’s shouting at them about how much Deku has suffered lmao and they’re just like falling over from being scolded

so they have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about though, right? “SIR THIS IS A WENDY’S” well whatever, you killed his pet car so he’s in a bad mood now

OH MY GOD

LIKE, JUST SO WE’RE ALL CLEAR, THESE FOUR PAGES SO FAR HAVE MADE ALMOST ZERO SENSE. LIKE MAYBE 2% SENSE TOPS. BUT ASK ME IF I CARE. GO AHEAD AND ASK. I SAID GO AHEAD, IT’S OKAY. ...NO I DON’T CARE AT ALL THANK YOU FOR ASKING

(ETA: also, the more I look at this panel, the more I’m just like, why the hell would you phrase it like that though, sob. way to doubly tempt fate?? are you trying to give Horikoshi a challenge??)

and now back to Deku who is randomly bouncing around the city and narrating it to himself just in case he was confused about why he was doing this

who are you talking to Deku. but thanks we appreciate it

man you gotta love that overconfidence. the smartest guy in the world warned you away from this lady, so SURE, LET’S RUN RIGHT UP TO HER. “I APPRECIATE YOUR INPUT, FLASHBACK!HAWKS, BUT I’LL TAKE IT FROM HERE” well okay then!!

I think it would be funny if RHA.com put little Buzzfeed-style polls in between the chapter pages so they could survey people at random intervals as they read their way through the chapter. like, you finish this page and then there’s a little poll there asking “do you think Deku’s plan of catching up to Lady Nagant and finding out where Shigaraki is will work?”, and you click “no” just like everyone else and then nod as the results show that 97% of your fellow readers also picked “no”, and you chuckle to yourself wondering how many of the 3% accidentally clicked on the wrong option by mistake, and then you keep on reading

ANYWAY, SO

HOW’S THAT PLAN WORKING OUT FOR YOU SO FAR DEKU. nice kick, though!!

omggggggg

ouch

update: Deku’s plan not really working out. sources tell me my boy has been fucking shot. this is an ongoing story and we will keep you posted with the latest developments as they come in

wait what

feel free to explain to the rest of us what all of this “UNLESS...” and “THAT POSSIBILITY...” shit means anytime, Deku

oh lol did he realize she could fly??

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE, CNN’s John King reports that Deku is still fucked. eyewitness reports now coming in that Nagant is doing no-look shots and basically not even giving a fuck. sources described her mannerisms and expression as “sexy, but in like an effortless sort of way.” we will continue to bring you the latest

so now there’s basically an entire page of Deku being all “ah fuck so she’s basically closing in and she could already hit me with impossible accuracy even from Far Away, so if that’s the case then her being Up Close is probably going to be even worse!” making good use of that Big Hero Brain there, Deku

so now what, you’re doing some kind of spiraling kick thing?? how is that going to help

oh lol he’s using Smokescreen to create some cover. aww, good for you Deku you named one of your Smokescreen attacks

OH NO LADY DON’T TELL ME AFO DIDN’T EVEN FILL YOU IN ON THE BASICS

seriously, AFO?? you basically told her what Deku’s exact strategy was going to be but then couldn’t be assed to drop that little, small, barely notable piece of knowledge that Deku is rocking multiple quirks?? is it supposed to be a secret or something?? you dropped the ball here man

damn this is getting intense now

(ETA: the way En is poking Deku’s head in that first panel is fucking sending me, I love this guy so much omg.)

well then what are you planning, Deku?? I’m actually really curious!! I am genuinely starting to be invested in this fight scene not only in the “wanting to see who wins and how that impacts the plot” sense, but also in the “wanting to see how it happens because the choreography and strategy is actually pretty cool” sense, which honestly hasn’t happened for quite a while now! this is fun

anyway so what’s up Deku, are you going to use another quirk?? I’ve been speculating that he hasn’t actually unlocked the last two yet (since Two and Three didn’t exactly seem convinced when we last saw them), but maybe I’m about to be proven wrong

(ETA: well he clearly has Three’s obviously, but Two’s is still MIA, and that’s the one I am of course the most curious about. that’s the one we’re all curious about, let’s be real.)

OH SNAP???

AHHHH I’M HYPED LOL. ANOTHER SHINY NEW QUIRK LOL SHOULD I PUT UP THE USUAL DISCOURSE DISCLAIMER

(ETA: so yeah, after thinking on it, I’m not gonna say “please no Deku discourse on my blog” this week, but I probably will ignore any discourse that does come my way though, just because I don’t have much interest in getting involved in what would probably be a pretty repetitive discussion. like, I can just sum up my opinions (which is what they are) here instead. in fact here they are lol:

1) I like the SIXQUIRKS and I like seeing Deku be a badass.

2) I also don’t think Deku is too OP. more like he’s exactly as OP as he needs to be at the moment, given that we’re approaching the end of the series. I expect the other kids will also be pretty damn OP when we see them fight again. we’re just at that point now where they’re all badasses (as well they should be; they’ve grown a lot and they deserve it). it’s just that Deku’s the one we’re getting to see right now.

3) of course I miss Kacchan and the others, but for me this vibes much closer to the MVA arc where even though I missed them, I was still having a blast (as opposed to the dark days of the Basement arc where I was pretty much losing it lol). like, even though Kacchan’s my favorite, I still love Deku a lot and this arc has been amazing for him getting to shine on his own (for like the first time, really).

4) y’all know I love the OFA plot and I’ve never been shy about that lol. I like all of the Vestiges a lot. Banjou and his over the top personality; En and his “guy you thought would be serious and :| all the time but is actually hyper-animated and ALL OVER THE PLACE” energy; Shiro who actually is a :| sort of guy lol; Three who I still expect will be fleshed out in a more detailed flashback at some point; and of course Two, who, well. you know what I think about him lol. Bakuverse is still on the table and I’m still hyped. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we still have yet to see Two actually talk to Deku (as opposed to talking to the other Vestiges while Deku is distracted). did he lend him his power yet?? or is he still holding out?? either way it’s definitely going to be a Big Thing when it finally happens and I can’t wait to see it.

5) Lady Nagant is Everything and just because Deku grabbed her arm doesn’t mean the fight is over yet lol. Overhaul hasn’t come into play yet either. not to mention that even if the fight is over, the “where do we go from here” part still has me excited either way. her connection to Hawks and the HPSC is very intriguing and we’ve barely touched on that as of yet; she definitely has more of a role to play in this.

6) last but not least, I feel like every week the discussion is all about how much focus Deku’s getting, and how OP he is or isn’t, and OFA this and OFA that, but meanwhile I’m actually so invested in the character development here though?? the way Deku has distanced himself from everyone (except for the Vestiges, because of course they’re already dead so it’s not like they can die again lol)?? the way he’s pushing himself far too hard and we can see the shadows in and under his eyes, and the fact that he never smiles, and even All Might has remarked on how he isn’t taking care of himself at all?? the fact that he’s so single-mindedly obsessed with focused on stopping AFO?? the fact that he’s still the same sweet old Deku despite everything and was so kind to that fox lady with the umbrella, but there was also something so sad about that scene because it felt like a reminder of the type of hero that he wants to be, but that he’s not allowed to be right now?? because the stakes are too high and the world is falling apart?? and he feels like he’s the only one who can do something about it?? and that he has to be?? and that he is putting so much pressure on himself right now, and it’s absolutely too much pressure for any one person to bear, and I feel like no one is fucking talking about this lol goddammit.

anyway so yeah. I have feels about this, and every week that slow-burn angst is getting more and more intense behind the scenes, and I feel like it’s all going to hit a breaking point eventually. sooner rather than later. it really feels like a mirror of Katsuki’s post-Kamino arc. where all that angst was just churning below the surface for like twenty chapters and then it finally was like “okay it’s time” and it all came bursting out and we got the best five chapters of the fucking series (in my admittedly biased estimation lol).

basically, I know that most of fandom is billing this as either the “villain hunt” arc or the “solo Deku SIXQUIRKS fighting arc” or whatever. but for me, it’s always been and still is the Deku Angst arc lol. the cool fights are a sexy bonus (the worldbuilding less so because even though it’s interesting to see society at such a low point, it’s also very depressing and gets old pretty fast), but for me the thing that’s really keeping me engaged chapter after chapter is seeing Deku like we’ve never seen him before. seeing him all quiet and withdrawn and brooding and focused on AFO, AFO, AFO, and seeing that “he just doesn’t take himself into account” mentality taken to extremes. I am invested in that. I’m soaking up that angst each and every week, and I’m invested in seeing what comes of it. it’s a big picture thing. week to week this arc might just seem like a bunch of villain fight scenes, sure. but Deku’s emotional journey is the thread that’s going to carry this arc through from beginning to end, and for that I’m willing to be patient.

anyway that turned into a BIG OL’ RANT there but yeah! so those are my thoughts on the disk horse as it currently stands. and like I said, I’m open to discussion, but tbh I will probably just wind up repeating these same talking points endlessly so just a fair warning lol.)

anyway so Three says Deku has yet to use his quirk at ALL but now he’s trying to combine it with another quirk?? damn. also please check out En’s face here you guys

En launching a sneak attack up my favorite character list by the sheer power of his expressions alone. he really knows how to make the most of his screentime

OH DAMN DEKU

at this point the 3% from that hypothetical poll earlier are starting to feel prettttty damn smug, I’ll bet. well shit

what in the fuck

?? so like releasing his chi or whatnot?? isn’t that basically just like base OFA all over again?? also Deku did you seriously just apologize to Gran’s cape

update: Nagant has turned her eyeball into a gun

hm. hmmmmmmm. ...okay yep, still somehow sexy

anyway so she’s just floating up there building suspense, as one does. lord I sure hope she has good reflexes because something tells me she’s going to need them

OH SNAP HE THREW GRAN’S CAPE AS A DECOY WHAAAAT OKAY THAT’S SOME SMART SHIT DEKU

LOL SHE’S MAD NOW

JESUS CHRIST SHE JUST NEVER TAKES A GODDAMN BREAK FROM BEING AWESOME HUH

DEKU ARE YOU JUST THROWING EVERY DAMN THING IN YOUR INVENTORY

but without the cape and the hood how will you continue to look like an enigmatic badass. you really can’t. which means we might finally be moving on from the wandering nomad part of this arc, stay tuned

LOL YOU MANIAC

I hope he went full Kacchan with the dialogue there. his face sure looks like it lol. popped out of a building all mad fdskljlkj omg

well this was fun, shit. I still have basically no idea what Three’s quirk does though lol. like, can he use it to charge up objects with kinetic energy or something?? but then what was all of that talk about combining it with one of the other quirks?? or was that just because he was using Smokescreen at the same time??

(ETA: having seen and read an additional half-dozen explanations of Three’s quirk, I can say with confidence that I still have basically no idea what it is or does.)

anyway so!! Deku is a badasssssss but something tells me not to count Nagant out just yet even so. also I really enjoy seeing Deku flip out on people like he doesn’t have a fucking hole in his torso because it reminds me of A CERTAIN SOMEONE and I always love to see him channeling that feral energy; I feel like it’s been a while

anyways good luck to you both!! I truly wish that both of you could win. but if not, then maybe you can at least become friends instead. you have so much in common, you both can fly and have multiple quirks and you’re both badasses, and plus it would just be really funny to see the look on Hawks’s face lmao

#bnha 313 #midoriya izuku #lady nagant #bnha meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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neoheros · 4 years

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how would haikyuu boys handle getting shipped with a friend on tiktok? feat. kuroo tetsuro

kuroo tetsuro has a crippling tiktok addiction and he’s in denial about it but everyone around him knows because all he does in his free time is get on that app

that’s canon i’m not arguing with anyone about this

he’s the kind of guy to fall asleep from scrolling through his fyp and the moment he wakes up he looks for his phone under his pillow to watch more lmaooo

so anyways

you share classes with him and he’s not really the kind of guy to have crushes especially on people he’s not close with

but then one day he’s on his fyp and he stumbles on one of your videos

and he’s just like ?? woah

he recognizes you obvi, he’s not one to talk to people out of his friend group but he’s not completely ignorant to everyone else

he immediately sees that you have indeed quite the following and have almost majority of your posts going viral

so yea you can say he’d notice you more in class now

at first it was subtle, looking at you more when he’s spacing out or paying close attention to you when you’re reciting

he doesn’t even notice how he includes you more in his thought process until the day kenma pointed it out to him how he’s been a bit more distracted lately

he brushed it off thinking it wasn’t really anything serious

but then boy Oh boy !!!

he started noticing the fact that you’ve got a really nice room in your vids and your fave led lights are the red ones since you almost always use them

he’s also really into the fact that you upload more on comedic videos than dancing ones

but HONEY when you posted your take on the dance trend of savage by megan thee stallion ,,, he was GONEEEE !!!

he sent that video to kenma like five times in a row with the caption “aha brb gonna LIVE for this woman 😗✌️”

kenma be like: simp city population - u

at this point he just accepts it, like flat out he took it within himself to UNDERSTAND how much he’s crushing on you and kenma asks him if he’s gonna do anything about it and he’s like ????

like he gets how awesome he is and stuff cause duh captain of the volleyball team and most probably the most beautiful man on campus but you’re also really good in class and very attractive

not to mention that you’ve never even looked his way before

he was hurt, man !!

only he could feel as rejected as someone who actually did get rejected

nevertheless, he got over that and just woke up one day telling himself that he was gonna shoot his shot anyway !!

so one day in class, right after the lunch bell rang, he took a deep breath and rummaged his insides for every drip of confidence he could muster

he walked to your seat and you were kinda surprised because this boy right here has never once talked to you before

his opening line was “can i sit here?”

you were still really confused but then he said something about wanting to be friends and your heart was just really warm cause !!!! that’s so NICE !!

and he mentioned how he knew you from tiktok since you practically lived on his fyp

you were really embarrassed and he got to see in action how your ears turn really red when you get shy

kuroo, internally: “that’s so FUCKEN CUTE !!!!!”

he had to reassure you that it was indeed really cool that you made bomb ass tiktoks

you were so grateful cause like one minute you were having a terrible day because of your stupid teacher then bam this 6’2 beauty of a man came swooping in telling you you were terrific

you two became friends after that and it made you really happy to have someone as cool as kuroo as your best friend

kuroo likes to sit with you at lunch except when you’re with other people then he gets a bit dejected so he’s just “well damn maybe tomorrow then”

it’s all good though cause he has invited you to numerous of his practices and that’s when you SEE how amazing this man is at volleyball

one day you’re like “hey wanna do a tiktok with me?”

and he’s like “the one where you kiss me?”

you, flushed: DIPSHIT WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT !!!!1!1!1!!

you guys do the one where you dance to supalonely by benee

it went OFF !!! 700k likes and a solid ass 2.7M views because apparently the viewers really like it when kuroo dances next to you in his varsity uniform and has sweat dripping on his forehead

your comments for the next two weeks are just like “bro post another one with kuroo please PLEASE”

kuroo: guess people just like me more :)

you: leave my mentions <3

sometimes you’d get people replying to your videos with “you and kuroo look really good together”

you see them but you most likely ignore it because even if you did know how much you liked kuroo, you didn’t wanna jeopardize the friendship, yk?

anyhow due to popular demand, you include him in your videos again and every time you do they always go viral !!!

it’s very cute especially when you do the ones where you snapchat him song lyrics and he answers even if he does know it’s a trend

“can they please just get together already, we all know they’re pining but they’re too coward to say it !!”

you: ok u know what user9728182829 since u’r so good at this why don’t u be the one to make tiktoks at a volleyball court and dodge all those stray balls 😤

you were so fed up with it that you actually tell kuroo about the entirety of tiktok shipping the two of you together

he was worried that you were upset because people liked you and him dating that he thought maybe you just weren’t into him

BUT THEN !!!

because of the corona virus all the schools shut down and people were forced to stay in their houses for quarantine

it was sad that everything got cancelled and you weren’t allowed to see your friends anymore

but that’s ok cause kuroo insisted to facetime everyday

you: why can’t we just text

kuroo: because what if you forget what i look like 🥺

you: hey i’m not that blessed ❤️

it was like the quarantine never happened since you still saw and talked to him everyday

sometimes he’d show up at your place but refuse to come inside cause social distancing

this mfer threw rocks on your glass window just to get your attention once

kuroo: i got you those edible cookie dough in pints !!

you: omfg 🥺👉👈

then he chucks it at you because he ain’t boutta break the law to get you food 😤

it’s ok though you have really good reflexes and it only hit your elbow the first 2 times !!

you got it all on camera and posted it on tiktok and everyone in the comments were LIVID at the fact that you captioned it with “best friends b like”

“i just know that kuroo is punching the air right now.”

“imagine risking the corona and still being friend zoned.”

“when you realize kuroo is actually the president of simp city.”

other times he’d snap you at 3 in the morning asking if you want anything from starbucks

no one:

your snapchat dms at 3:28 am: you really went to bed you SN A KE !!

and when you wake up the next morning you find out that this guy is still awake and that he’s been chilling in the starbucks parking lot all morning !!!

that’s ok though because other than the fact that his sleep schedule is completely wrecked he still got you your venti strawberry acai refresher

you: thank you sm 🥺 what do i owe you

kuroo: a kiss on the cheek

you: you can have the drink back ❤️

that’s when the new tiktok trend started and people were posting the hottest guys on campus or revealing their crushes since 1st grade

you, feeling brave because school is cancelled: aight bet 😎

you do a tiktok hopping on the trend and you captioned it with “now that we aren’t coming back to school here are the boys from campus that i’d date for real”

you stall for the first 30 second by vibing to the music and when the beat drop !!

you showed a picture of kuroo and you put in the text “kinda missing him too”

you were extremely regretting this but numerous people already saw it and the comments went on and on about how unsurprising this was

press f ma’am

so one afternoon while kuroo was scrolling through his tiktok, he was surprised by the amount of notifications he was getting

cause he doesn’t even post videos ??

he’s only there to watch funny stuff and leave insulting comments on your posts cause he’s a good friend

he checks and they’re all just tags of him in this one video and he was kinda worried cause what if it was a hate post ??

but then he saw that it was yours and he’s less nervous !!!

kuroo, texting you: if you diss me in this one i’m posting the screenshot of you falling asleep on facetime

so he watches it and ??????????????

bro he went 🥺

before he messages you he went straight for the comments and !!!!!

“who knew it was kuroo before watching the whole video?”

“don’t be shy put some more photos of him !!”

“if kuroo duets this i’m gonna make sure to never fall in love unless its like this.”

“y’all he did it boys!! he graduated from the best friend zone!!”

he’s still really surprised by this and he really hopes you’re not kidding cause bro you??? like him????

thanks to that comment he saw, he decides to duet your video by using the same sound and doing the same dance with the same caption “now that we aren’t coming back to school here are the ones from campus that i’d date for real”

and they’re all just pictures of you 🥺

it blows up but before you see it on your fyp he’s already asking to facetime and when you answer you swear he’s just got the biggest smile in the world i’m :(

kuroo: lol remember when you publicly told majority of the internet how much you liked me

you: lol remember when you weren’t talking ❤️

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sparklingchan · 4 years

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The Prince and I || Jeong Yunho(Ateez)

Pairing : Reader (fem.) x Yunho.

Word count : 9.2k+

Warnings : Cuss words, minor injuries, Yunho BEING A FLUFFBALL!!

Genre : Fluff, angst, Arranged marriage au, Royal au.

Description : Your marriage to Prince Yunho feels like nothing less than a fairytale - but a fairytale is incomplete without a villain, right?

A/N: This fic took longer than I thought it would lol

This is a part of the holiday treats event conducted by kafenetwork. This fic is for the lovely Anna! I hope you like it and I hope it didn’t disappoint. I’m sorry I cannot tag you here because this site always decides to eat up my posts with tags in it :((

Enjoy!

"This wedding dress is a little expensive, granny."

The silky cloth slips away from in between your fingers, as quick as sand. You hadn't ever touched a piece of cloth as beautiful and smooth as this one, really. In fact, you'd never ever seen anything like the dress presented before you at the moment. And well, as much as you want to buy it, you knew you couldn't. Not unless you use up all your life's savings.

"I'm sure Ms. Claire here could find us something less...royal." you mutter again when your Grandmother doesn't respond.

Ms. Claire, the owner of the elegant boutique you find yourself standing in this morning, smiles at you sheepishly. "Oh, what nonsense! You will be married into a royal family, y/n. I cannot have you wear a normal wedding dress."

You sigh, turning away from the mannequin that donnes your dream wedding dress and crouching down to speak to your granny, "Granny, we won't have any money left if we buy this."

Your grandmother has been in the wheel chair for as long as you could remember. But she has more energy and life in her than most young people out there, including you. She's like this ball of sunshine who adores you to death. And now that the most important event of your life is slowly coming close with every passing day, you find her enthusiasm increasing likewise. She would wake up every morning and coax you to work out and do your skin care routine every night before bed. Today too, she forced you to allow her to tag along on your last shopping trip before your big day. Though you never say it out loud, your grandmother is nothing short of an angle. And you'd do anything to make her happy.

"I have saved up enough money to buy three such dresses, y/n." Your grandmother says as you lean down , "Miss Claire, pack this one up please."

Miss Claire nods and smiles at your granny, "Surely, madam."

Her assistant takes away the mannequin to get it packed up and billed.

You sit on the small couch present in the room as your eyes roam around the room full of pretty dresses and veils and shoes. It feels surreal all of a sudden, as if you were in a day dream you'd often think about as a teenager.

"What? Do you want anything else? I have enough money for that too." Your grandmother chimes in, rolling the wheelchair a little towards you, "Should we buy one for your mom too?"

Your mom, though equally excited for your wedding as your grandmother, was more on the realistic side. She'd give you a reality check ever so often - about husbands and in-laws and everything surrounding it. You're also not very sure your mom would appreciate spending so much money on dresses in a single day, especially when your wedding stands only four days away.

"No, granny, mom has enough dresses." You run a soothing hand through her grey and thin hair, "Aren't you tired? We've been out for a long time now."

"Do I look tired to you? " she raises an eyebrow, her eyes wrinkling up as she smiles at you sweetly. She's such an adorable little woman that it makes your heart melt everytime she looks at you.

"No," you roll your eyes, "Guess we can go and pick up Maya's dress while we're at it."

"Maya as in your best friend? The annoyingly loud girl from your college?" You snort at your granny's choice of words to describe your best friend.

You hear Miss Claire call you towards the payment counter and before you could move a finger, your granny races you to it.

"Come on, girl, what are you- eighty?" She teases you with a loud chuckle.

And still, you may not say it out loud , but your granny is your whole world. And when you are married off into the royal family of your father's old hometown, the only person you'll miss badly is probably your sweet old grandmother.

Later that evening, after dropping your grandma back home, you decide to walk to your best friend's apartment which is located just a few blocks away from yours. You carry her dress with you but deep down, you know that's not the only reason as to why you wanted to visit her this late at night.

"I need advice. "

"About what?"

"Marriage and life. "

Your best friend's eyes widen at your words. Her lips part as if she wanted to comment something but then stopped herself. "Maya, dude please. I'm terribly scared and I can't talk to anyone else at home." You admit, playing with the hem of your dress. A sudden sense of embarrassment and shyness washes over you but you push all that away before they get the best of you.

Maya puts down her dress on the bed.

"Y/n, I could give you all the advice in the world but believe me, you won't be able to apply it practically. I married a normal man from a normal family. We live in a cozy apartment in a city. But for you, it's different. You'll not marry a common person- you're marrying a prince for God's sake. A Crown Prince on top of that. You'll be living in a castle far away in the mountains. I don't know how my advice would be of any help here, y/n." Maya says, her hand gently patting yours.

You shift in your place, the bed creaking softly beneath you.

Maya is unarguably right - her advice won't be useful in your case. In fact, no one's advice would be useful to you unless they've had a first hand experience with an arranged marriage and a royal life. Yet these facts do little to comfort your growing fear and anxiousness.

"I haven't even met him in person yet. I only saw him over a few stupid video calls and in his pictures. I don't know what to expect." You say.

His Highness Crown Prince Yunho is a pretty busy man it turns out. So busy that he hasn't even been able to take some time out of his duties and come visit his fiancé for a few hours. He's a beautiful man, you have to say. Elegant and stylish and well mannered and everything about him screams Royal. He often texts you in his free time and calls you once in a blue moon. He seems like a nice man indeed, the kind you'd love to marry even without his royal heritage. But being his wife and a Crown Princess is a challenge you'd have to face completely on your own.

"Your granny thinks he's a good man, y/n. Maybe you should trust her judgement. Old people have that in themselves, you know." Maya says with a small smile, "Plus he's a Prince. You'll live a luxurious life, y/n. Don't be so pessimistic! I'm sure things will turn out great."

You give your best friend a tight hug for trying to cheer you up and helping you forget your fears even if it's just for a few hours . That night, as you toss and turn in your bed, trying to keep your mind free from thoughts about your life after marriage, you realise how big of a change this one thing will make.

And you're not very sure if you're ready for that change yet.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

The weather is quite pleasant today, the sun shining softly through the thin curtain of clouds and the humidity deciding to be a little forgiving today but too bad you're stuck inside your room, folding clothes and making sure all your necessities are packed in the luggage.

"Well, this is not how I expected my last day at home to turn out, " you complain to your mother who sits across from you on the bed, helping you pack your things, "But it is what it is, I guess."

Your mom chuckles, placing your folded clothes into huge black suitcase spread open on the floor. "This isn't bad. You're alone with your family and friend, what more do you need?"

A fancy Bachelorette party with your friends and a few male strippers didn't sound like a very appropriate response so you decide to just shake your head.

"Aren't you angry though? Even just a little bit?" She asks. You scowl at the unexpected, out of context question. You are scared and anxious and nervous but angry? Not at all.

"What do you mean? Why would I be angry?" You reply, crossing your arms in front of your chest, "I'm fine."

She sighs, momentarily pausing her actions to face you. Her eyes are a little moist, you notice, and her lips pressed into a sad line. "Your grandmother betrothed you to Prince Yunho when you guys were just nineteen. It is an arranged marriage, to a person you don't know and a family which holds so much power. She didn't give you freedom to choose your own partner. Aren't you angry about that?" She elaborates.

You feel a soft tug in your heart at her words. You've been so preoccupied with worrying about how you'd handle yourself after marriage that you never really thought about this. Even so, when you really think about it, you can't find it in yourself to be angry at your grandmother.

"Granny and Prince Yunho's grandmother were best friends, mom. They made a promise and I respect that. Plus granny never forced me to say yes. I did that on my own account. " you explain yourself, your hand slowly reaching over to squeeze your mom's shoulder, "Don't worry about me. I'll manage. I always do."

Its rather funny how you were the one needing assurance from Maya a few nights ago and here you are, repeating the same words of encouragement to your mother. A part of you is obviously still terrified of the future, but that's not your mom's problem to deal with. It's entirely yours.

Your mom sniffs, but a tear manages to roll down her cheek, "I'll miss having you around. Why couldn't she have arranged your marriage to a normal person who lived in the same city?"

And then it finally dawns on you. It really is your last day at home. Your last day in the city you so dearly loved, your last day in the house which has seen you grow from a little baby to a beautiful, young woman. It's your last day as y/n y/l/n, your parents' only child and your grandmother's favorite grandchild. Tomorrow, you would be a Princess, a wife, a person of political importance. And your heart breaks a little at the thought of never getting this life back again.

"Mom.." you mutter, your eyes tearing up as well. Words fall short when it comes to describing how much you'll miss everyone and everything here. Starting from your friends to your family to the smallest of decorative items in your room that you've managed to collect over the years. It's like a piece of you would just cease to exist. As the night grows darker and the day crosses over to the next one, you hold your mother close as the both of you let out the quietest of sobs and realise that this might be the last time she'd have you all to herself.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

The journey from your parents' old house to Prince Yunho's ancestral palace is short - not with respect to time but with respect to the fact that amidst tearful eyes and memory flashbacks, the car ride gives you little to no time to settle your hurricane of thoughts.

As your dad's car slowly pulls over in front of a huge black metal gate, you are welcomed with a view that seems right out of a fairytale. The Royal palace is located in the most beautiful locations you've ever been to, a place you never thought could exist in real life. It almost feels like you are in a dream. With the beautiful backdrop of lush green mountains in the back, the Palace stands tall on the foothills of the mountains. The pastel pink walls and the carefully carved window panes look ethereal with contrast to the tall black gates that securely surround the palace. A group of servants are rowed in front of the man main entrance, with warm smiles and trays full of welcome drinks.

But you're far too mesmerized by the place to bother consuming anything at the moment.

This place - this breathtakingly gorgeous palace with the biggest gardens and tallest fountains- would be your home. For a long time, home meant your crammed little apartment which always smelt like cinnamon and bread. It had no big gardens, no servants, no fountains but it was your home. Your safe place. You wonder if this place could ever feel like home.

"Geez, y/n, I'm so jealous." Maya whisper-squeals in your ear as the servants lead you inside, "Do you want to exchange husbands?"

You nudge her gently with your elbow, "Shut up. Or I'll have you thrown out."

You are made to walk through a quiet hallway that has a huge wooden door at the end. On both sides of the hallway, pictures and paintings and vintage weapons are displayed like in museums and the marble floor beneath you shines like water under the sun. Every nook and corner of this place is a treasure waiting to be discovered, you realise.

The servants open the wooden door and lead you inside into what appears to look like a Throne Room. Now, you'd never really been to one before but movies and books have taught you that this is what a Throne room probably looks like - with a Grand Throne placed at the very center and numerous chairs placed on either side of it. The walls in this room are graced with more pictures and paintings of kings and queens and common people and soldiers. You wonder if your picture would ever be up there somewhere in the future.

"Oh, hello lovely people!" A manly voice booms through the hall, "I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long."

A few quick taps of feet on the floor and there stands in front of you a very familiar face - as if you'd almost seen him in a dream.

Black tuxedo, perfectly styled hair, a walkie-talkie in his hand, the man before you looks right out of a James Bond movie. "I'm Choi San, Prince Yunho's personal secretary and the royal family's representative for the day."

He claps his hands together, "Her Highness the Queen Regent, Her Highness the Queen Mother and His Highness Crown Prince Yunho sadly couldn't be here since they have some important charity event to attend. I deeply apologize for that. In their place, allow me to welcome you to the Jeong family's Grand palace!"

"You'll all be taken to your rooms now because you must be tired from the journey. If you need anything, just tell one of these servants."

The servants nod at San and signal you and your family to follow them.

"Uh, lady Y/n. Mind if I have a word with you?" San interrupts.

Although surprised, you nod as you let your family walk off to their rooms.

"Yes?" You ask San.

San's eyes are focused on your frame - every movement, every expression, every word - he's observing you as if to make sure you're the right person for Prince Yunho. You feel self conscious all of a sudden.

"Yunho did say you're a charming person. I just didn't think I'd agree with him before, but now..I definitely do." San giggles, offering you his hand, "I'm Choi San at your service, madam. Your wish is my command."

You bow gently at him, "I'm y/n y/l/n. It's nice to meet you too, sir."

San chuckles, "Please don't call me that, your Highness. I'm your employee. Besides I have something important to talk to you about. "

The last few words form a tight knot in your stomach, fear finding it's way through your veins.

"Y-yeah?"

"You have a coronation ceremony tonight. I hope you know that. We've already hired a stylist who will take care of all you from now on. She'll meet you immediately after lunch." San explains, "And here's my business card. Contact me if anything comes up, okay?"

You gulp as you accept the shining business card from him, "Thanks. I'll do that."

San smiles sympathetically, as if he understood the fears swimming inside you. He offers you a gentle, encouraging pat on the shoulder.

"I know how you feel. A palace is a scary place, I won't deny. But if I can survive here, so can you. Plus you have Yunho. He's the nicest man a person could ever ask for, I'm sure." San says.

Your whole body relaxes a little as a soft breeze of comfort washes over you with the words leaving San's mouth. This is what you'd been wanting to hear for a long time - a reassurance that you'll be safe and okay as a member of the Royal family and that Prince Yunho might be a person you could love. But for now, you focus on keeping your self calm.

"Now, do you mind walking me to my room? I find myself a bit lost." You giggle.

San finds himself chuckling in response, "Of course, your majesty."

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

When San had told you that you'd have your own personal stylist, you did not expect this . Even in your wildest dreams, this is not something you'd catch yourself wanting.

The beautiful blue gown clutches to your upper body at just the right places and then flows down your waist like a beautiful waterfall under the sunlight. A diamond necklace graces your otherwise empty neck complimented with matching earrings. The stylist - Alisa - puts your hair up in a pretty bun and then places a beautiful diamond tiara on your head. And when your eyes finally land on your reflection in the mirror, your mouth hangs open with no words but just air slipping out of it as response.

"Do you like it, your Highness?" Alisa asks with hopeful eyes. Her shy smile giving away the fact that she wants you to like what she's done, her efforts and ideas.

You have to blink hard for a few more seconds before coming to terms with the fact that you look so beautiful right now. A part you is in denial while a part of you is jumping around, doing a victory dance in happiness. You weren't used to seeing yourself look this good. Your heart leaps at the thought of Prince Yunho seeing you like this - almost like a princess who's lived in castles all her life. And then you realize that you would be one ; in only a few minutes.

"I love it, Alisa. You're brilliant!" You exclaim, wrapping your arms tightly around the stylist in happiness. By Lisa's stiff response, you are sure you'd taken her by surprise. Royals do not go around hugging normal stylists yet this hug was a symbol of your thankfulness towards her for putting so much effort into you, to make you feel special. Alisa's proud smile reaches to her eyes as she quickly works on placing the brooch pin in the right place on your dress.

A knock on your room's door attracts your attention and you are quick to fix yourself in case it was someone from the Royal family.

"I'll get that." Alisa jogs quickly towards the door.

When the door creaks opens, you see a familiar face standing there - familiar enough to know it was your fiancé, the most handsome man you'd ever laid eyes on, with the kindest smile and brightest eyes. Your heart stops beating for a dangerous second.

"Oh, hello your Highness. " Alisa greets him, bowing slightly, "Miss y/n is ready to go."

And when Yunho looks at you, your soul as if escapes your body. "H-hi, Prince Yunho."

He walks towards you with warm, red cheeks and perfect black hair and a stylish black tuxedo and offers you his hand, "It's nice to finally meet you, my lady."

How does one ever respond to that? How does one ever behave in front of an actual, real life prince, who also happens to be your fiancé? He presses his lips to your fingers ever so gently.

The butterflies in your stomach go wild.

"Shall we go now? Everyone's waiting for you, my lady." He asks.

You nod, wrapping an arm around his, "Yes."

The short walk towards the throne room is mostly filled with a comfortable sense of silence, except for the times when Prince Yunho points at some random picture on the wall and talks about it. Your eyes seem to be following every movement of his, and everytime your eyes meet, you find yourself melting under his gaze. You are smitten by him and there's no denying in that.

On entering the throne room, all heads turn towards you - ministers, relatives, your family, Yunho's friends, San and all servants present there observe you as Yunho walks you down the flowery aisle leading to the Throne. You could feel everyone's eyes on you, scary yet exciting, they follow your every movement and every word and every expression.

And when they bow down slightly as you stand on the right side on the Throne, you realise these people weren't just bowing at Yunho, there were also bowing down at you. Because you'll be his wife tomorrow, a princess, a figure that should be loved by the people. The only thing keeping you grounded is Yunho's gentle hand softly clutching yours. It's as if he could sense your inner turmoil before even you do it yourself. "Are you nervous?" He whispers in your ear.

"Yes, a little. "

"Don't be. I'm here with you."

The main door to the hall opens and two women walk inside, at least ten soldiers walking in front and behind them, guns at ready and eyes critically scanning all the faces.

The older woman, who you assume to be the Queen Mother and Yunho's grandmother, wears a sweet smile and walks as gracefully as ever even in this senile age. She waves gleefully at the crowd bowing down to her. On her left stands a slightly younger woman, Yunho's aunt and the Queen Regent who has been the ruler of this kingdom after Yunho's parents passed away in a tragic accident ten years ago. Rumor has it that the Queen Regent is a strict, emotionless ruler who has no mercy for criminals and is harsh with all the employees of the palace. You notice her serious gaze fixed in your direction and shudder in fear even though you've barely ever talked to her before.

"May the Queen Mother live long! May the Queen Regent live long!" Someone chants and the others follow suit in the blink of an eye.

You suddenly feel as if you are in some period drama.

The Queen Regent takes her place on the throne while the Queen Mother takes a seat on the left side of the Throne. A single wave of the Queen Regent's hand and the crowd goes completely silent.

"Hello to everyone gathered here today. I am very, very glad to welcome a new member of the family - lady y/n y/l/n. She is to be the wife of my beloved nephew Yunho and the future Queen of this kingdom. Please give her a warm welcome!"

The hall erupts into claps and cheers and your name being repeated as if in a chant. Your grip on Yunho's arm tightens.

"I'm there, my lady." He says again, "Don't be afraid."

San brings out a huge sword and places it in the Queen Regent's hands. This sword is what you assume to be the Jeong family's old, sacred sword used by generations and generations of brave kings and queens to protect themselves as well as the citizens of their beloved country. This sword is a symbol of pride and victories. And a lost history.

"As per ancient traditions, I will now be crowning miss y/n as a princess before her wedding with the prince tomorrow. From now on she will be called her Highness Crown princess Y/n. She is an important member of our family from this day forth."

"Y/n, go on and kneel in front of my aunt." Yunho whispers, nodding at you with a proud smile, "You're doing so great already."

You comply by his words and kneel in front of the throne, your head hanging low and eyes squeezed shut with anxiousness of what is to come.

"Welcome to the family, y/n." You hear the Queen Regent's voice before she gently taps your right shoulder with the tip of the sword and then the left one. You feel a few droplets of water being sprinkled on your face.

"Rise, Crown Princess. Face your people and let them welcome you with open arms."

It is done. You are a princess now. This can never be undone, this name, this title will stick with you till the end of time. You're no longer a normal girl with small dreams and basic requirements, you're a future Queen now.

Rise, Crown Princess.

And you do.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Every person has dreamt about their own wedding at least once in their life - whether it is in the peak of their teenage or in the innocent wonders of their childhood or the wildest dreams of their adult years, this thought found itself in everyone's mind.

You had one such dream too.

But your dream had always been very simple. A nice man, your closest friends and family, a cheap and beautiful wedding dress, a small party with limited people - that is all you've ever wanted. You didn't want a gathering of four hundred people who you barely knew, the new reporters shoving their cameras into your face, heavy make up or expensive jewelry, or a husband who you barely knew. But guess that is what the Gods had written in your fate. And you have no option now than to accept things the way they are.

You don't remember much from the wedding ceremony or the huge party that follows, really ; you only remember Yunho's lips pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead when the priest asks the groom to kiss the bride(probably the best part of the day), your grandmother's tears of happiness and Alisa and San winking at the two of you after the ceremony was over. Everything else felt like a blur, as if your head had been underwater all this while.

An hour or so into the party, Prince Yunho asks you to walk with him. Alone. Though reluctant, how could you ever say no to those innocent eyes? The discomfort from being surrounded by hundreds of unknown people slowly disappears as the two of you walk around the garden, your eyes never meeting but a sense of familiarity settling between the two of you.

"I'm not used to this, you know." He says with a shy smile.

The sky is beautiful, decorated with stars and a full moon but nothing compares the glow on Yunho's face when he turns to glance at you.

"Used to what?" You enquire, "Having so many people here?"

He shakes his head, "No. I'm used to having a lot of people here. That's all I've ever seen. What I'm not used to is this. Having a partner or someone else live in my room with me."

"So...?"

"I'm happy about it. I really am. But I know you're new to this royal lifestyle and we barely even know each other that well but I hope you don't regret this marriage. Because I'm sure that I won't. " Yunho sighs, "And if you ever feel like it's not worth your time anymore, you are more than free to leave. Forget about everyone else, do what your heart says. "

The last phrase catches you off guard. It is very, very rare to find people who give you this sort of freedom in any arrangement. The fact that he opens up his thoughts to you makes your heart leap with happiness. And a little sadness too that he'd think you'd leave him so easily.

"Hey," you pat his arm, "I'm not leaving anytime soon. I promise. We made a vow, didn't we?"

Yunho blushes at your words, but under the bright moonlight it goes unnoticed by you.

"Do you mind if I hold your hand?" He suggests after a few seconds of silence.

The butterflies in your stomach are seemingly having the time of their life these past few days.

"I don't." You slide your hand into his and your fingers intertwine almost instantly. His warm palm presses against your cold one, bring a sense of comfort you never thought you'd ever experience. In the midst of a chaotic royal gathering and the paparazzi trying to sneak in through the gates, you and Yunho find a small world for yourselves that no one else can ever have access to.

And for the first time in months, you realise that this marriage might be worth more than what you thought it would be.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

You've always wondered what the people in royal palaces do. Do they spend all their time greeting the citizens and walking in the gardens? Do they keep dancing in the ballroom all the time? Or do they busy themselves with war conspiracies?

Sadly you realise that royal life sounds very exciting and extravagant only when you're not the one actually living a life like that. And this conclusion dawns on you only after ten days of the wedding.

The first week is packed with activities, alright. Visiting the common people and distant relatives and going to various public events. Your curiosity was at its peak till a few days ago, but now here you are, sitting on the edge of your soft bed, phone in lap and eyes drooping with sleepiness, wondering how to keep yourself occupied.

"Y/n?" The door creaks open as Yunho peeks inside shyly, "Can I come in?"

You nod, "It's your room, Yunho. You don't need my permission to enter."

"Oh, I was just making sure you weren't doing anything you didn't want me to see."

Oh. Your cheeks turn into crimson fruits as his words finally hit you.

"Anyway, I actually came to get my file. But I saw you sitting here. Are you bored?"

Are you? Heck, yes!

"Yes." You reply almost guiltily.

Chuckling, he leans down to press a loving kiss on top of your head, "Come on. I'll show you something."

You took pride in the fact that after only a week of staying here, you knew the palace fairly well. The corridors and paintings and artifacts and the workers weren't as foreign to you anymore. Yet the path Yunho takes you to seems weirdly unfamiliar.

Guess new surprises await everyday.

Soon enough, your steps halt in front of a huge wooden door labeled as ' library '.

Rows and rows of books welcome you the moment you step inside, Yunho leading the way into the most beautiful library you'd ever seen in your life. As always, paintings grace the wooden walls and a huge crystal chandelier hangs from the middle most point of the ceiling.

"Yunho...is this..what heaven looks like?"

The smell of old and new books hit your nostrils as you run a gentle hand over the book kept in the shelves, feeling the various materials of book covers brush past your fingertips.

"Maybe." Yunho responds with a grin.

Yunho's heart feels full with adoration and content at the sight of you dancing around the books shelves, gleefully taking notes of the books you plan to read on the days to come. Your eyes curl up into crescent moons as your toothy smile seems to have taken Yunho's breath away. Beautiful is what you look. Simple and elegant and so innocent.

All his life he's spent among royal people, people with political intentions and lots of money. But you make him feel differently. Being with you feels like a breath of fresh air for Yunho. And who wouldn't like that?

"Earth to Yunho." You click your fingers in front of his face after you catch him staring at you. Not that you didn't like it, but you had to do something before you turn into a mush before his eyes, "What are you thinking?"

"Oh, um..nothing." you. He was thinking about you, "How about I ask the workers to bring my office stuff over here? I can work here while you read. I don't want you to be alone."

A shameless grin plasters over your lips.

"I'd like that, Yunho. I'd like that very much. "

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

"How's the married life treating you?" Your granny asks you this question every damn time she decides to call you.

And surprisingly somehow, you always answer positively to her query.

"Well, good. I think so at least. " you smile to yourself, remembering the soft kiss Yunho had placed on your head as he left for an official trip this morning. Even in your half asleep state, your cheeks had turned bright red, "Prince Yunho is a nice man. "

"Oh, of course he is! I wouldn't have asked you to marry him otherwise, you idiot." She yells at you although you know she's smiling through the phone, "Anyway, I can't talk for long today. I have a doctor's appointment so I'll need to dress up for that."

That comes as a surprise, "What? Are you sick ?"

"God, no. I'm not a weakling, okay? It's the regular check up. Don't worry." She says, "Bye now. "

The line goes silent.

Sighing, you put your phone down on the night stand. On times like this, when the room is too quiet and you are too lazy to walk out and talk to other people, you start missing home. A lot more than usual. Your house, though only consisting of four people was way too noisy from sunset till sundown and somehow, you'd gotten used to it. The quietness has yet to grow on you.

A slight knock on the door attracts your attention and you immediately allow whoever it is to come inside.

"Oh, Alisa. It's you!" You exclaim as relief washes over you on seeing a familiar face.

"Yes, your Highness. How have you been?" She bows down to you, "Are you able to adjust to this new life?"

"I've been okay, you could say. Still a little overwhelmed whenever I have to face people but I think I'm getting there." You laugh a little.

Alisa gives you an understanding nod, "I totally understand. But I'm glad you're feeling more comfortable. By the way, I came here to ask you if you wanted to visit my boutique in the town nearby. It's a new one and I wanted you to come see it before the inauguration. "

Your heart jumps at the offer. You remember back in your college days, you would often go shopping with Maya, especially on weekends. The two of you would wait for months for a sale or special offers because online shopping sometimes just doesn't do it for you. You smile, nostalgic, "I'd love to go."

"And then maybe we could go and eat in the pizzeria nearby. It serves the best pizza in the world, I swear."

This is just beyond tempting at this point, a literal trap to have you step out of the role of a royal Princess and embracing the careless city girl inside of you and who are you to keep her hidden for too long?

"What are we waiting for then?"

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Yunho surprises you every now and then.

On the outside, he is a strict man with the sharpest of brains and the most observant eyes. The title of being a crown prince sits heavy on his shoulders and with every passing day, the weight just get heavier.

On the contrary, the Yunho you get to see everyday is very different. Soft and cheerful and smiley, he's the literal embodiment of the sunshine and your heart doesn't seem to rest everytime you see him.

It must have been roughly a month since the wedding when he makes an impromptu plan of visiting your city and your parents' house since it had been a long time you last saw them.

"Heard you were going to your parents house?" You had gotten ready to go before Yunho did, so instead of sitting in your bedroom, you decided take a short walk outside in the gardens. And as you strolled around aimlessly among the flowers and bushes, deep in thoughts, you had come across the Queen Mother sitting by the water fountain.

"Yes, your majesty." You reply, rather intimated by her aura.

It's hard to accept sometimes that this person is best friends with your grandmother, when the both of them are as different from each other as the two poles! Your grandmother is the ever so sweet, smiling, supportive person. You would never see her angry or upset. But on the other hand, the Queen Mother is uptight, very quiet and rarely ever smiles. Just like her daughter, the Queen Regent. Maybe it's a royal thing but you're glad you don't have to see this serious side of Yunho on a daily basis.

"Good. The farther from here, the better." She mumbles.

You are alarmed at her words, "I'm sorry?"

She sighs, her walking sticking tapping the marble wall of the fountain, "Y/n, I adore you. I might not show it but I'm glad my grandson has someone like you to make his life less lonely. But you have to be careful. Not everyone is appreciative of a person of common birth being crowned as a Crown Princess. "

Fear slowly clutches you in its palms. You had gotten very occupied with Yunho and being a crown princess and making new friends, you admit. So occupied that you let your guard down. And the Queen Mother's words sound more like an advice than a threat.

"Should I be worried?" You ask, your skin going cold at the thought of someone actually wanting to hurt you.

"Not yet, no. But be very, very careful. You cannot trust anyone here. Not even me. The only person you can lean on is Yunho. Why? Because he might be as much in danger as you."

Have you ever seen how people start panicking when any sort of alarm goes off? Yeah, thats exactly how you feel at that moment.

"Y/n, let's go!" You hear Yunho call you from the front gate, already taking his seat inside his car.

You bow at the Queen Mother before jogging towards Yunho, your heart no longer into the trip as it were a few minutes ago.

Yet seeing your parents and granny after so long did comfort you.

They had prepared this small barbeque party in your backyard, your dad playing guitar and purposely singing badly to embarrass you while your mother shows Yunho your childhood pictures. And the food, oh, the food! The five star chefs from Yunho's palace could never replace this comfort food you had at your parents house. It might not be well decorated with garnishes or spices or fancy plates but it made you feel like everything will eventually be okay - which is exactly what you needed at the moment.

The entire evening you try hard to talk to Yunho but when your house is full of three excited adults, it is hard to do that. Around one am in the morning, you finally find yourself in your old bedroom, Yunho's fascinated eyes roaming around the room that feels like it were straight out of some teenage romance movie. Where in reality you'd honestly been too lazy to change the room's layout once you outgrew your teenage obsessions and interests.

"You seem to be liking my room a little too much. " you chuckle, scrolling aimlessly through your phone, your face partly squished into your favorite pillow.

The boyband posters, old polaroids from your school functions, romance novels stacked up neatly by the nightstand - all of this is as foreign to him as his palace is to you.

Yunho lies down beside you, still in awe of the room, "Yeah, it literally mirrors your personality. "

"How?"

"I can't explain it, you know," he clicks his tongue, "But everything in this room screams y/n. Like everything here is made only for you."

You raise your eyebrow at his words. He's very observant, that you've noticed, but the fact that he knows you this well in barely a month warms your heart.

"What about our bedroom in the palace? Is it not made for me?"

"Oh, it is. Of course it is. But you're staying there because you have to, right? Because we're married and all that." He replies.

"No, I'm not. I told you Yunho - I'm staying there because I want to." You say, now no longer in a mood to joke around.

Suddenly, the words from The Queen Mother swim back into your mind, as you start seeing her words in a completely different light.

Yunho has somehow always expressed how he is unable to believe your presence around him and how he acts like you're doing a favor by doing that. And you find yourself wondering if Yunho knows what she'd said to you. The danger that looms above both of your heads must not be as much of a secret to him than you thought it would be. So instead of confronting him, you decide to comfort him.

"We'll be fine, Yunho. " you drag your hand towards his, your body relaxing the moment he squeezes it back, "Both of us."

Yunho looks at you with love and desire clear in his eyes, his free hand slowly dragging towards your face. You could see it now- the loneliness from the loss of his parents and the negligence from his aunt and grandmother throughout his childhood still very much exists behind the mask of a happy prince. You do not know the language of royal people or politics but you do know the language of love and more than a stupid gold crown, he needs someone to love him. And thats exactly what you intend to do.

Was it too soon? You didn't care anymore. And you know for a fact that he didn't either.

You lean in close and press your forehead to his, "You're not alone anymore. Okay?"

You see him smile from your hooded gaze, your breath mixing with his in an intoxicating mixture. "Thank you, y/n. You have no idea how much I appreciate it."

And that in itself are a combination of words much more heavier than a simple 'I like you.'

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

"The Queen Regent wishes to see you."

San runs up to you the first thing the next morning, right after breakfast.

"Why?" You ask, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

You had a plan to accompany your granny and the Queen Mother to their small tea party in a nearby Farmhouse but you couldn't obviously say no to meeting the Queen Regent. Because well, she's the Queen.

"I don't know, your Highness. I try to stay away from her as much as possible but whenever our paths do cross, she always assigns some work to me." He whines, "Go on, I'll tell the Queen Mother that you're occupied. I will be heading out with Yunho right now anyway."

Shaking your head in annoyance, you make your way to the Queen Regent's office.

Her office smells like expensive cigars the moment you step inside, and the full ashtray on her table only feeds into your conclusions.

"You asked for me, your majesty?" You ask in a low voice.

When she looks up from writing in her journal, your heart skips a few beats in fear. Her eyes hold no resemblance to Yunho's angelic ones or even The Queen Mother's serious ones. They look like two deep, bottomless black holes that swallow everything and anything in its vicinity. Her long hair is tied in a braid and her lips quiver passively upon seeing you.

"Ah, yes." She replies, "Please have a seat."

You take the chair in front of her desk, uncomfortable at the close proximity between you and the one person who everyone tries to avoid.

"How are you?" She begins, closing her journal and keeping her pen inside the drawer, "How are things going with Yunho?"

"I'm good, thank you for asking. And yes, things are going well with Yunho."

Her question seems odd, but you let it pass.

"Okay. That's really great to hear. Anyway, I met your husband a little while ago. And he asked me to tell you that he intends to see you on the rooftop alone later tonight." She raises an eyebrow, a gentle smile playing on her lips, "Looks like he has a date planned."

Her words seem too far fetched to be true. Too unrealistic. Not the date part though, but the part where he specifically ask her to pass on the message to you. He could have easily asked San or Lisa or even told you in first person, so why would he choose the Queen Regent out of so many people when he you've barely seen him talk to her?

But you're a Crown Princess, and she's the Queen and you cannot question her. "Okay, I'll be there." You get up from your seat and bowing gently, "Thank you for letting me know, your majesty. By the way, did he mention what time I am to go ?"

"Oh um...Around seven in the evening?" She's fumbling on her words, and you're sure she's lying about something.

Still you suppress your doubts and walk back to your room, hoping to find the truth behind her words this evening at seven.

The entire day goes by in the blink of an eye, but to you it feels like an eternity. The curiosity has you sitting at the edge of your bed, ready to make a run for it if any danger ever comes your way.

Yunho, who was out with San for some official work has surprisingly not texted you today at all. And it only adds to your doubts of the Queen Regent being a liar.

And when night finally falls, you find yourself tense up more than you'd done the entire day.

The night is quiet, calm but beautiful and as you step into the terrace and the soft wind kisses your face, you almost believe the Queen Regent's words. Maybe Yunho did really plan a surprise date for you. Because this is everything that Yunho likes. A beautiful night and a company he loves.

The terrace stands high giving you a beautiful view of the entire palace complex, the gardens and everything beyond. And for a moment, your worries diminish as you step near the railing, inhaling the fresh air and you feel safe.

But, you see, that's where you are wrong. This imaginary cloud of safety that you'd thought was around you was never there in the first place. Since the first time you stepped into the palace, all eyes have been on you - on every action, every activity, every word. You'd always been swimming in a dangerous sea. One wrong move, and you realise the shark is right behind you. And just how the Queen Mother had told you, you were only ever safe with Yunho by your side. But he isn't here anymore.

So it doesn't come as a when a pair of rough hands give you a single, harsh push, sending you falling right down five floors.

"You will never be our queen." Is what you hear before your vision dissolves into a black hole.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

When you were six years old, you fell down your bike once while trying to copy some stupid stunt you'd seen people on television shows do. The excruciating pain that followed the fall was something which you thought you'd never have to experience again. That was the kind of pain which hurts you down to your very bones, sending waves of shock through your body with a single movement of your hands.

And that is exactly how you expect to feel the moment you open your eyes and come face to face with a familiar ceiling. But all you feel is sore, like how you feel the morning after exercising after a long while.

The bandages on your arms and abdomen indicate that your fall wasn't as bad as you thought it'd be but it was, nevertheless, a fall which was very much done on purpose.

"Y/n, honey, are you awake?" You hear Yunho's groggy voice coming from somewhere near the foot of the bed you lie on.

"Y-yeah. What happened?" You manage to sit up even though your body feels heavy with fatigue, "How did I fall?"

Yunho appears by your bed side in the blink of an eye and your heart clenches with relief when he bends down to kiss your head.

It feels like you hadn't seen him in days, years, where as it had only been around two days since you passed out. Yunho had rushed back home the moment he found out about it, leaving all his stupid official work for some other day. Hell, he would happily give up all his responsibilities if it means he could see you and keep you safe. He'd cried for nights and days, never leaving your side even when the nurses would change your clothes or bandage dressing. The mere thought of you never waking up again was too dark for him, especially when he'd found such a happy place in you. You are the owner of his heart and everything else that he could give you. You are, literally, his only family member. His whole world. And if he loses you, he would lose himself with you.

"A-are you okay?" He sits down on the bed, holding your hand so tight as if he was afraid you'd disappear if he let's go, "does it hurt anywhere?"

"Just a little bit, but I'm okay. I feel fine." You say, smiling through your busted lips.

Your smile as if breaks a wall he'd been holding onto for days, and his eyes immediately tear up.

"I'm so so sorry, y/n. I should have been there. I should have been protecting you. I keep forgetting I'm not a stupid guy with a normal life and that people I associate with might get into trouble anytime. I'm so sorry, I should have protected you from my Aunt and Alisa. I'm so fucking sorry."

Aunt? And Alisa? What is he taking about?

"Yunho, what are you -"

"They planned it. The entire thing. They purposely sent me and grandma away so no one would doubt them. Aunt had supposedly promised my hand in marriage to Alisa a long time ago but Grandma got us married instead. They were angry. So angry that they went ahead and tried to k-kill you. " he sobs into his hands, the tip of his nose turning bright red, "Alisa was the one who pushed you. They forgot to remove the CCTV footage."

You freeze for a second, Alisa's betrayal hurting you worse than The Queen Regent's. You almost thought you could find a friend in her, just like Maya. You trusted her. You felt safe around her when in reality, she'd only been a time bomb - waiting to blow up.

"Alisa did?" You mutter, your lips drying with fear, "I-I don't know what to say. Yunho, I- I can't believe Alisa would do this."

"I didn't either. But both of them have admitted to it. The police took them. I'm so sorry, y/n. " Yunho rubs his tears away, "I talked to your granny and parents. They said you could move back in with them. The divorce will take about a year or so to get finalized but you don't have to stay here till then. You can go back home whenever you want."

Your heart crushes in your chest. The fear of abandonment Yunho carries within himself yet he has the guts to let you go is something you would forever admire and hate in him. How could he think this way, especially after you've reassured him countless number of times that you're here to stay.

"I didn't agree to a divorce. What the fuck are you even cooking up in that mind of yours?" You say, stern and angry.

He looks up at you, his guilty eyes making the pain in your chest more painful.

"Y/n, please, you cannot stay with -"

"Shut up. Just shut up. I don't care. I don't care what you think. I am an adult and the crown princess of this kingdom and I will do as I please. " you almost yell, "I am staying here, with you, for better or worse. I told you I wouldn't leave. "

Yunho bursts into tears, wrapping his arms gently around you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck as you gently pat his back, reassuring him that you'd always stay. No matter what.

"Y-you might get hurt again, y/n. I don't want you to stay and get hurt again." But his tight hold on your body tells you otherwise.

"We're both in danger for the rest of our lives. Does that mean we stop living?" You whisper, pulling away from the embrace only to grab his chin, "Does that mean we stop loving?"

He shakes his head as his lips curve down and a shaky sob escapes his mouth, "Nothing will ever happen to you again, I swear. I will keep you safe. You will not have a reason to complain again."

You nod, dabbing his tears away with your thumb, "I know. I believe you. "

You stare into his eyes - his beautiful eyes made of the finest stardust that make your brain go hazy every morning that you wake up and find them right beside you. And that's exactly how you choose to wake up every morning till the end of your days.

"Is this the part where we kiss or what, because I've waited a long time -" he cuts your blabbering off by finally placing his plump, peachy lips on yours ever so tenderly.

He steals all the air from lungs, driving you breathless and crazy with every movement of his lips on yours and the gentle touch of his fingers on your face only adds to the unbounded euphoria you feel at the moment. He's beautiful. Even with your eyes closed, you know that he is beautiful. And not just with his face, he is a beautiful man inside out. He is yours and nothing in this world can ever change that. So when he pulls away, panting and out of breath, and gently kisses your forehead, you say, "I love you, my prince."

These words. These damn words that he'd waited for months to hear, nights he spent dreaming about hearing them. And he has to mentally slap himself to make himself believe this all to be true.

Stealing a quick kiss from your lips again, he whispers, "I love you, too, my princess. "

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wickedgamesoyaoya · 4 years

Text

Secrets in a basic form can be harmless, but that does not negate the fact they can be quite deadly too. To withhold information from a loved one is to partake in a gamble, and the odds will not be in the deceitful one’s favour. Outside of the generic risks of entertaining this gamble, there is one that is often overlooked. What many fail to comprehend is that secrets can be weaponized, and once information becomes a weapon – the truth will no longer hold any significance.

Ichika may have fortuitously stumbled onto Osamu’s secret, but he was still to blame. There were various choices available to him that night and he chose not only to lie, but to drag his idiot brother down with him. He was thus caught in a gambler’s debt.

“Okay.” The confirmation fell from your mouth in a whisper, but it was not intended for anyone’s ears other than your own. You were vocalizing affirmation to the unspoken request from the muscle inside of your chest that was afflicted unfair torment. The excessive throbbing would not cease unless you abided by its demands, which first meant drawing the ache inside to the surface.

Connecting the platform of your boots with the ground, the vibrations stretching from the point of impact led Ichika to proceed a cautious step back. The smile stitched across her lips fell into a thin line as you surveyed her, curious to what she would bark out next. Beside you, Osamu failed to secure even a piece of your attention, something the blonde took pride in. Although, if she had known that the sole reason you chose to ignore his presence was to focus on your primary target, she would not have been so arrogant.

“Don’t you see, y/n? The person you should be fighting is yourself.” She raised her chin in effort to gloat, yet the little quivers in her voice indicated her confidence was deflating. Maintaining her composure would have been effortlessly completed if there was even a hint of recognizable emotions in your eyes.

“Okay. Come here, dollar-store Regina George.” A faint smirk twitched at the ends of your mouth as you toyed with the accessory within your grasp, compelling her attention to land upon it. The threads weaved into her mask of smugness were slashed, revealing the fear slathered across her features. However, the terror reigning over her was soon replaced with bemusement as the band was discarded in a frivolous manner. “Hit me.” The artificial annunciation added to the invitation along with your bizarre actions drew a wide range of responses from those within the shop.

Osamu croaked out a protest, though he knew anything spoken would fall on closed ears. Your two best friends on the other hand exchanged worried glances, but they assumed you had some plan in motion. But what concerned them was the possibility that the revelation ruptured your very grip on reality.

Seated behind them, the father to the deranged child begged to notify the authorities, while Nakamura cowered in the corner, guilt eating away at his conscience.

“You don’t have to ask twice.”

Your invitation reinvigorated the blonde’s sense of triumph, which led her to lower down her guard. She proceeded closer to you without hesitation then reeled back her hand, before allowing her palm to collide with your face. The impact guided your face to the left side, forcing your gaze to settle onto your two bewildered friends, who were seconds from abandoning their post to join you. Though, when they saw your mouth open to expel a chorus of low laughter, they froze in their tracks.

“You hit softer than my sister.” When you snapped your consideration back to the shorter girl, the action startled her enough to cause a blockage to form in her throat. She blinked up at you quizzically, while pondering whether you were truly a sadist – deriving pleasure from the pain. And there was some truth to that. The location she had oh so kindly assaulted stung, but it was not even remotely close to the ache claiming your entire body. “Is that all you got?”

“Y/n, please.” Osamu was preparing to capture you in his embrace, he didn’t care if you hated him or hurt him in the process. It was quite clear that you were seeking to overthrow the emotional pain with a physical one. Something that would not be occurring if he chose to be honest. “You’re angry, so take it out on me. But don’t take it out on yourself.”

“You see the thing is… This is my pain. And you, the person responsible for that pain, don’t get to tell me how to deal with it.” As exhilaration pumped through your veins, humourless laughter sliced against your throat on its journey to your mouth. “Now fucking hit me.”

Ichika stomped on the ground childishly, accompanying the movement with a mixture between a whine and a grunt. How dare you mock her when you were the fool in the situation? What kind of person were you? She was beginning to wonder if you were human at all.

She knew Osamu would intervene if she was not quick enough, and so she did not miss a second once the demand was spat towards her. In applying the second strike she curled her fingers purposefully to drag her manicured nails across your flesh. The additional pressure combined with the edge of her nails was enough to carve a few lines into your cheek, however before she could allow her hand to fall limp, you secured your fingers around her wrist and issued another titter. When her eyes frantically shot to the captured limb, it finally dawned on her that you weren’t the prey – she was.

In a swift motion, you twisted her hand then ushered it to the small of her back, the slightest bit of force would send her shoulder into agony, and so she did not attempt to fight back. Trailing your tongue along your bloodied bottom lip, you pushed her towards the same table she found refuge from minutes prior.

“You… crazy bitch!” The liquid distorting Ichika’s vision glimmered under the crimson lens you adorned. It was quite satisfying.

A heavy breath of air was exhaled as you took a handful of her golden locks, an action that caused her father to yell out various profanities. But upon seeing his daughter’s distress, his curses morphed into begs. He was begging for mercy, something you were not willing to offer.

“You see now, goldie locks…” To ensure she was listening intently, you tangled your fingers into her curls, forcing her head up to bring her ear to your mouth. “Whatever I do… qualifies as self-defence.”

Shivers surged throughout Ichika’s petite frame at your explanation as she questioned internally how she managed to misread the signs. She studied you based on your social media for days. She thought she knew you. But she was ever so wrong.

“But how… How can you still fight after what I told you?” Tears strained her swollen cheeks, and soon the reality of her loss brought her to wail childishly. “Tell me!” Twitching at the sound produced by the short female, you roughly led her face to the counter to silence her. Mimicking a child’s behaviour? There was something pitiful about that, and you did not doubt that her father was to blame.

Releasing the arm twisted behind her back, a lengthy sigh was blown out as you massaged your forehead to sooth the stinging sensation tormenting your temples.

“I’ve met scum like you before...And I bet you thought you had the upper hand.” Another heavy sigh was exhaled as you shook your head is disappointment. “That was your first mistake. Now, listen to me, kiddo. I want you to remember something.” Strengthening your grip on her roots, you forced her head to rise from the table, resulting in a weak squeak from your victim. She trembled pathetically between sniffles as your slow breaths hit her skin. “Osamu could never love someone like you. Fantasize all you want, but if you ever think of breathing in his direction…” A pause was implemented to provide her a few seconds to imagine what would occur, and what she imagined brought her to whimper lowly. “Let’s just say I won’t be leaving you with a simple concussion.”

“Concussion..?”

As she echoed the word in confusion, her face was smashed against the table with as much force you were capable of administering. The sound produced from the action was far more satisfying than any melody played on the radio. If only someone had recorded it.

Once her body went limp, you untangled your fingers then squinted down at them, admiring the way they curved from the unnatural exertion. The pain within your limbs successfully soothed your heart into a slumber, returning some colour back to your vision as a reward.

With the thrill of victory lacing into your bloodstream, you momentarily turned your empty stare towards your fiancé until another person entered the scene.

“Y/n…?! What the fuck is going on?”

Let’s do it again, shall we - hit me

Masterlist - Previous - Next

A/N: thanks for joining the party, superman lol. you a bit LATE. anywAY I hope ya’ll know MC is not okay, not even a bit.

Taglist: @idiot-juice-enthusiast @vicassa @iloveanime691 @bringmelily @newfriendjen @hikarichannn @anime-simp @tsukkismamagucci @laughingismorefun @astronomyturtle @shegrewupwithoutafather @hyskoa1998 @deephumandragonperson @pretty-setter-bois @raenebalgaire @sugawarabby @justanotherfangirl2 @keijisworld @90s-belladonna @momoinot @sempiternal-amour @cherryblosom111 @yqshirov @haikyuufairy @volleybloop @bloody-bella @sadkaashistan @seikamuzu @namyari @toaster-stick @shakiraisawesome @coconut-dreamz @roseestuosity @prcttylittlcthing @uzumakioden @nerdynstoned @kenmasgameboy @unstableye @ouijaeater15 @aquariarose @fandomtrashpandasposts @helloalex80 @stfucanunot @envyusshades @cuddlesslut @seijohiseliterambles

#osamu x you #osamu scenario #osamu smau #hq osamu #osamu x reader #osamu x y/n #osamu angst #haikyuu osamu #osamu miya #miya osamu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu smau #haikyuu #haikyuu fanfiction

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svgurl410 · 3 years

Note

Can't help it I want to send you another one - Clark/Oliver for #8 Roommates (oh my god they were Roommates 😏) Also dealer's choice but I would not complain if Lois found her way in this too lol 👀

Haha send as many as you want! As long as you're willing to accept that I can be a very slow writer. XD Also, by found her way into this, you mean took over, right? Because that's definitely what happened.

Send me a ship and a number

clark/lois/oliver. ~2.5 k. Same age/college AU- they're all graduating soon and Clark's afraid of losing the two people he loves the most.

“Smallville, you are an angel.”

“You probably say that to anyone who gives you caffeine, so I won’t let the praise go to my head,” Clark said, dryly, moving to give Oliver his own cup of coffee, before settling down on the couch, with his own mug.

“Nah,” Oliver drawled from his spot on the armchair, his laptop on his thighs, as he shifted forward, to pick up the cup. “I think angel is a good description.”

Clark rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t deny that the words still resided deep in his heart.

“Besides, normal people don’t make coffee like this,” Lois pointed out.

“Considering how much you’ve had today, can you even tell the difference at this point?” Clark challenged, looking pointedly at the clock, which declared it almost 1 am. “Sleep is probably better for you than another cup.”

“Please, don’t insult me- I am an expert in all things coffee,” Lois proclaimed, from the other end of the couch, as she shifted her sock covered feet to rest in Clark’s lap. He was all too used to her antics at this point, and just let them linger. Besides, he couldn’t deny how much he liked her open affection. Both her’s and Oliver’s really. “Anyway, I’m almost done with this paper and then I can call it a night. Two more finals and we’re done for good.”

Oliver repeated the sentiment with obvious enthusiasm, neither noticing how much work it took for Clark’s face not to fall.

Two more finals … and they were done.

Clark should be excited. He was graduating from college, with a degree in journalism, ready to stop studying and start a career that he was passionate about.

But as he looked between Lois and Oliver, as they all resided in Clark and Oliver’s apartment (and Lois was there so often she was practically their third roommate), preparing for finals week, all he could feel was dread.

Dread, because the sooner they were done, the sooner he would lose them.

Two of the most important people in his life, the ones he was so used to seeing on a daily basis … who also happened to be the two people he was desperately, hopelessly in love with … they would just be gone.

Sure, Lois and he were both planning on journalism as a career, but the field was so competitive that the chances they landed in the same state, much less the same city or paper were slim. As far as Oliver went, he would move back to Star City, where he would take over as the CEO he was destined to be.

Clark would be lying if he said he hadn’t looked up jobs at the Star City Gazette, but just because they would be in the same city didn’t mean that they would see one another.

It wouldn’t be the same at all. And Clark, who had always struggled with change, found he wasn’t ready for this one.

These thoughts had been plaguing him, especially the past few weeks, no matter how hard he tried not to think about it. He could too easily picture how their lives would unfold post graduation. Maybe they would see each other now and then but growing apart was almost a certainty. Soon, communication would slow down, as they fell into their own lives and they would see each other at a reunion or maybe he would get invited to one or both of their weddings (perhaps to each other- he had felt the chemistry and was still truly surprised they never dated).

One day, he would just be ‘their old friend from college, Clark’, and the idea made him sick.

But it seemed that he wouldn’t have a choice. He didn’t know how to stop the changes he knew were coming.

Fingers snapped in front of his face, and brought him out of his gloomy thoughts.

“Smallville!” Lois said, and he looked over to meet her frowning face. “Are you listening?”

“No,” he admitted. “Sorry, I got caught up in my thoughts. What were you saying?”

“We were saying that we should have a big celebration, when we’re done,” Oliver answered, expression unreadable as his gaze was focused on Clark.

“Think we can get Clark over to a club?” Lois asked, with a cheeky smile.

Clark grimaced, causing them both to laugh.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Lois finished.

“I mean, I guess we could try-” Clark started, thinking back to Lois’s 21st birthday the previous year. That place hadn’t been that bad.

“Nah,” Lois said, waving her hand. “I was joking. We’ll find something for the three of us. One thing is for certain- this summer, we are doing that road trip!”

“Can’t I just fly us to wherever you want to go?” Oliver asked, wrinkling his nose, and setting his laptop down on the coffee table.

“Silence, rich boy, this is about the journey, not the destination,” Lois declared, causing Clark to let out a small chuckle.

“The journey to see the World’s Biggest Coffee Cup?” Oliver said skeptically, but Clark could see the twinkle in his eye and knew he was just messing around.

Lois knew it too, from her expression. “That’s part of it!”

“I’m putting my foot down at renting an RV,” Oliver warned. “And I don’t care what you say - I am paying for a hotel. We are not sleeping at the nearest, cheapest roadside dump you find.”

“You are going to have to get over what happened in Austin eventually,” Lois complained.

“I saw things that I will never forget,” Oliver said darkly.

“Spoiled.”

“Guilty.”

“Now, now, children, play nice,” Clark teased, head moving back to rest against the couch.

“This is not the time to be the rational one, Clark,” Oliver insisted. “You know I’m right. You don’t want to be sharing a room with the cockroaches any more than I do.”

“They aren’t very considerate roommates and they refuse to even chip in for the bill,” Clark acknowledged, causing Lois to pout. “But that doesn’t mean you can book us all the Ritz, Oliver. We’ll find something reasonable.”

“Fine, fine, have it your way,” Oliver said fondly.

“It could be fun though,” Clark said, smiling wistfully. “One last trip.”

“Yeah, and then we’re off to work,” Lois agreed. “I’ve been looking up jobs- both the Star City Gazette and the Sentinel have multiple openings, and I talked to someone in HR there, and they are expected to have at least two more in the upcoming months. What do you think, Clark?”

“Me?” Clark asked, eyebrows furrowing, confused. “Of what?”

“Of Star City,” Lois replied. “Unless you want to be back in Metropolis, so you can be closer to home. The Daily Planet doesn’t seem to have any openings right now though, and well, Ollie is obligated to be in Star City for the time being, but who knows in the future, right?”

Oliver nodded. “Yeah, I am going to be traveling a lot anyway and for the first few years I have to be in Star City, but Metropolis could eventually be an option. Besides, if you both end up in Star City, you can just stay with me.”

Clark tried to keep up with the conversation, but it felt like he was lagging behind and wasn’t sure how to make headway.

Lois swung her feet off his lap and he missed the touch immediately. She let out a long yawn, rubbing her eyes. “Oh, it is way too late to be talking about this, but we do need to start planning our future soon.”

“Our future,” Clark echoed, dazed. “As in the three of us.”

“Obviously,” Lois said, standing up and stretching. “What, did you think we’re just going to go our separate ways after graduation?”

“Yes.”

The answer was out before he could think about it, and Lois stopped in her movements, turning to him, eyes wide and mouth turned downward. As he looked over at Oliver, he saw his friend looked surprised and hurt.

“Do you … want to go our separate ways after graduation?” Oliver asked, tone uncharacteristically cautious, and expression blank once more. Clark found he really hated that look, the one where he couldn’t immediately understand what Oliver was thinking and feeling.

“I thought that was what you guys would want,” Clark explained hurriedly.

“But all we’ve done is talk about ‘we’ and ‘us’ in the past when we were talking about our next move,” Lois pointed out, sitting down again, this time right next to him.

Sure, but he didn’t think they meant it. Didn’t think they had included him in their plans. Why would they? Clark wasn’t the one who was considered; he was the one people tended to leave behind.

“We’re not leaving you behind, Clark,” Oliver said tightly, and that was when he realized he had said that out loud. His face turned red, cheeks feeling hot, and he dropped his face, eyes focused on his feet, which shuffled awkwardly against the wooden floors, brushing against the rug under the coffee table.

His throat was tight, and he couldn’t form the words if he wanted to.

“Clark.” There was Lois, her arm on his shoulder, and he leaned into her touch. “How could we ever leave you behind? Did you really believe we don’t care about you at all?”

“I guess I didn’t think about it,” Clark muttered, finding his voice.

Lois lightly punched him in the shoulder. “You made two big mistakes, Smallville: you fed us and took us home with you to meet your parents. You’re stuck with us now. Deal with it.”

“Really?” He couldn’t stand how insecure he sounded, but couldn’t help it.

Oliver got up and sat down on the arm of the sofa, leaning against Clark for stability.

“Obviously,” Oliver said firmly. “And while we’re on the topic, we’re not talking platonic bonds here either, just so we’re clear. I’m crazy about you. Lois is too. Getting rid of us now is basically impossible. You’re going to have to change your name and go into hiding or something.”

“You never said anything,” Clark murmured.

“Well, there was no right time to ask, ‘hey, Clark, what are your thoughts on a polyamorous relationship’?” Lois said, one side of her mouth lifting up. “We have a good idea that you felt the same, but we didn’t want to risk losing you. Figured it could come up on the road trip.”

“And you both have talked about this?” Clark asked, looking between them, wondering how much they had decided.

“Only once,” Oliver assured him. “Just to confirm that we were on the same page. You’re harder to read than you think.”

“So, are we?” Lois asked hopefully. “On the same page?”

How could he say anything but yes? The idea that he could get everything he wanted, everything he thought he never could have was still a little mind boggling, but he wasn’t dumb enough to miss the gift that was basically being handed to him.

“Yeah, I mean, I care about … both of you,” he admitted. “I just didn’t think you felt the same.”

“Oh, there are some strong feelings there,” Lois promised. “And if neither of you mind, I would really like to kiss Clark. Do you know how distracting that mouth has been? It’s not even fair.”

Oliver let out a loud laugh and Clark could only watch Lois as she came closer, and he didn’t stop her as she kissed him, and he returned the kiss with equal passion, and when they parted a few moments later, he was grinning, the taste of Lois’s mouth one he never wanted to do without again.

“How was it?” Oliver asked, leaning forward.

Lois licked her lips. “Amazing. You should try it.”

Clark turned his head toward Oliver and Oliver watched him, hand lifting up to caress Clark’s cheek.

“Can I?” he asked quietly, warm brown eyes searching Clark’s own.

Clark stared at his friend and roommate, thinking of how far they had come over the years, and all the not quite friendly fantasies he had been having about him almost as long, and how he wanted more than anything for Oliver to kiss him. Had wanted that, and more for ages.

So he didn’t reply, instead surging forward to meet Oliver halfway and as their lips connected, Clark felt at home. He could hear Lois whistle and he smiled into the kiss. Oliver was just as good a kisser as Lois, and Clark wrapped a hand around Ollie’s neck, tugging him closer and Oliver fell right onto Clark’s lap, the two of them resting their foreheads against each other even when they separated.

“Now that is a show I wouldn’t mind seeing more of,” Lois chipped in.

Catching his breath, he looked at Oliver and Lois. “Aren’t you two going to kiss?” he realized.

“Why? Do you want to watch, Smallville?” Lois asked, but her eyes were on Oliver. “Secret exhibition kink? Here I thought you were a boy scout.”

“Not so much,” Clark retorted. “And something tells me you don’t mind putting on your own show.”

“Plus, his hand is currently on my ass, so I’m guessing not a boyscout,” Oliver remarked.

“Problem?” Clark countered, letting his hand stay where it was, and Oliver shook his head.

“Not a single one.”

“And who can blame him,” Lois offered. “So, what do you say, Ollie?”

Clark held his breath as Lois and Oliver leaned in and shared a long, deep kiss. He had never been a big fan of PDA, uncomfortable with public displays, but this? This was definitely the exception. To say he wouldn’t mind seeing more was an understatement.

“Huh, why did we wait so long to do this?” Lois wondered afterwards.

“Clearly, we’re idiots,” Oliver responded instantly.

“Have you two really never kissed before?” Clark asked, not feeling resentful or jealous, just genuinely curious and surprised; it was amazing what requited feelings could do. “But I thought you said you talked …”

“Only talked,” Oliver interrupted. “We were waiting for you.”

“Oh.”

“Finally get it now?” Lois asked, but she sounded kind. “We’re not letting you go.”

“Yeah, I get it.”

His heart filled with a mix of love and joy, gaze darting between the two of them, and he couldn’t imagine being happier. Lois rested her head on Clark’s shoulder, her hand coming up to entwine with Ollie’s, who seemed quite content sitting on Clark.

He loved them; somehow, they both loved him along with each other.

And he definitely got it.

Clark was suddenly very much looking forward to the future.

#clarkenting #answered asks #my fanfiction #clark x lois x oliver #clark/lois/oliver #clark kent #lois lane #oliver queen #smallville

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fbfh · 4 years

Text

three infinites and a reunion - sirius black x reader (gn)

pairing: sirius black x gn reader

wc: 1.2k

genre: ooh boy some hurt/comfort, moderate angst but it’s justified and quickly resolved, some trauma but what’s to be expected lol

warnings: spoilers for prisoner of azkaban sort of but most of it’s kind of common knowledge at this point, some fucks and other brief swears, post azkaban but the timeline is weird don’t come for me, reader is shaking cause of emotionally intense situation, mentions of bad mental health bc you know... dementors.... and uh, brief mentions of small stress induced weight loss (some promenent bones), sirius is king of consent, “you must be starving” then y’all eat some food, you get really fuckin determined to protect him who wouldn’t

summary: Holding out faith sometimes works out for the best, especially when the condemned love of your life is suddenly right in front of you, embracing you on the floor of your laundry room.

requested: no i just have dogman brain rot

song I listened to while writing this: snow - ricky montgomery, the shipped gold standard - fall out boy, golden days - panic at the disco (bc it makes me think of marauders era in general lol)

a/n: as I have stated before I don’t know how numbers work or how to do basic math so I fucked with the timeline a little which should boil down to this: sirius was in az*aban for two years before he escaped making him around 23, while harry is maybe 3 or 4, don’t come for me if it’s off lmao

also this is what I imagine sirius to look like but like,, with the expressions and mannerisms in the viria fanart

I have at least two more parts planned out roughly so those should come at some point uwu

requests are open, here’s my kofi xo

Shaking. You’re fucking shaking, tremors wracking uncontrolably through your body as you stare through blurry, tear filled eyes already spilling, at the big black dog in front of you. You look up at your porch light almost instantly, squeezing your eyes shut. You can’t tell which is louder, the layered incomprehensible thoughts fighting and screaming every instinct, or your pulse hammering in your ears. This is almost too much to bear as it is, but right now what you need are some fucking answers. This is confirmed as steel yourself, looking back down at the dog before you can even finish the thought.

You read somewhere that the more you think of a memory, the faster it fades. After almost two years of thinking of him, of those eyes that held such love and loyalty and courage, you were sure your memories of him must be worn out to near transparency. And yet you stand corrected right there on your porch after one year, eleven months, and two and a half weeks of repetitive, maddening remembering, looking into those eyes and knowing as clearly as you did all that time ago that this isn’t just a black dog.

You don’t even have to say anything, the message clear in those all too intelligent eyes being proof enough. Practicality snaps into place, and you hurriedly usher him inside, not knowing which felt longer - almost two years of painfully tested loyalty, or those fifteen seconds out on your porch. You secure the locks, pushing the foyer table against the door, and lead him into the laundry room and away from any windows or fireplaces. You press your back against the closed door, sliding down, trying to catch your breath, the dog sitting patiently across from you.

You press the heels of your hands to your eyes, letting out a sharp breath, almost laugh, of relief. You take a few deep breaths, trying to center yourself before you work up the courage to look up. When you do, he’s sitting right there. He looks virtually identical to the last time you saw him, your memories once again stronger than the time trying to erode them. Those same eyes are latched onto yours, disbelieving and searching yours for any traces of hate or bitter judgement.

He concludes there really is none when you throw yourself into his arms, holding him so tight. He chokes back a sob as he buries his face in your neck, arms wrapping around your back, hands clutching your shirt. You fight tears of pure relief, pursing your lips and letting out a few concentrated breaths.

“Sirius,” you manage after yet another infinity, still shaking in his arms. His tears finally spill at the raw love in your voice, beginning the painful filling of the hole the dementors had been steadily carving for years. You feel the cool, wet droplets hit your shoulder, and you squeeze him even tighter.

“I swear, I would never-”

“I know,” you cut him off, his voice tight, riddled with pain and the fear of being unjustly rejected and shunned again. One hand runs over his back in soothing, repetitive shapes, the other smoothing the back of his hair, “I’ve always known.” You repeat, your voice fierce with certainty, free of any trace of doubt. Your warmth almost burns him after all that time in the bitter cold, and he curls tighter into you, almost unable to breathe.

After a while, you’re not sure how long, you finally pull away to look at him properly. It’s surreal, one moment he looks exactly like how you last saw him, the next he’s almost unrecognizable. His face is slightly more angular than you remember, the rosy glow to his cheeks all but gone, and you’re sure he’s lost some weight. His collarbones and spine are more discernible under your touch than they had been. At only 23, he holds a battered, beaten sorrow beyond his years, but a light lives in his eyes that will never go out. Who could blame him? You’re sure he’s in much better shape than anyone else in that hell hole.

His hand caresses your cheek, memorizing every eyelash and freckle.

“I missed you,” he brings his forehead to yours, “so much.” You feel the pain and emotion in his voice, and you remind yourself that it’s all over now. You’re not going to let him go back there. Ever. Your hand runs through his hair, and you bring your lips closer to his.

“I missed you too,” your warm breath fans over his face, and his breath hitches, “so, so much.” Your words echo his, and his heart lurches, feeling like it’s beating again for the first time in far too long. You hover there for a second, and you feel his hesitance. With everything that happened, all the slander and lies, he doesn’t know how you feel. The last thing he would ever do is try to initiate unless he knows you want to as much as he does. His unbroken, unwavering respect makes you smile - he’s still as much of a gentleman as ever.

You close the space between with no hesitation, and your lips meet. The corners of both your eyes are misty with relief and passion and everything left unsaid as he pulls you into his lap, as invested in you as ever. You kiss feverishly, his lips slightly chapped but still soft. You angle your head deepening the kiss, and his hands squeeze your waist. When you finally pull away to catch your breath, you pepper a few kisses across his face, trailing down to his neck before resting your head on his shoulder.

“Does anyone know you’re here?” you ask quietly, already dreading an answer.

“Not yet, I don’t think,” he answers, kissing the top of your head, “just got out.”

You pull your head up, staring at him in disbelief, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

“You’re the first person I’ve come to see,” he continues, loving the look on your face, “though the whole world will probably hear in the papers tomorrow-” “Oh my god,” you mutter, gently batting his chest, pulling him close to you again, pressing more kisses to the side of his face.

“Well, who did you think I’d see, the Queen?” You laugh into his neck, and the sound sends warmth through his whole body, like someone finally turned on the sun. His chest aches, this time from being so full after so long, and his arms tighten around you again. You pull away suddenly, a few moments later.

“God, you must be starving. Do you want anything to eat?”

“Well…” he muses, and you know that look.

“Come on Puppy,” you say, finally getting to your feet, and helping him up with you.

Sitting at your kitchen table across from him, the love of your life, finishing leftovers and debating on certain wizard vs. muggle foods was something you truly, to your core, never knew if you’d be able to do. In a moment of warm, insurmountable determination, you know that you will let absolutely no harm come to this man. Your mind is made up, resolutely as you pour tea, plans already forming. He fought for himself and for you for so long, now it’s your turn.

And this is not a fight you’re capable of losing.

#sirius x y/n #sirius x reader #sirius black #harry potter x reader #marauders fic #marauders x you #marauders x reader #harry potter #marauders #marauders era

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imagine-lcorp · 5 years

Text

My Love, Don’t Stop Burning (One Shot)

Request

can I get uuuuuhhhh...Lena and Reader having been pining for each other for ages, and finally acting on their feelings, but Reader is a secret superhero and has to respond to a threat to National City in the early hours of the morning, leaving Lena to wake up alone thinking Reader regrets what happened or sees it as a one night stand? Angst with a happy ending pls?

A/N: Hi once again my little beans, hope you enjoyed the holidays and everything is well. Now I hope we can get again on a regular schedule of me posting your request but that’s just me hoping, also lol this request did sound like a fast food order, but here you have it :) Kudos to the dear anon that sent this one and I hope you like this!!! Love u!!!

Lena Luthor x Superhero/Metahuman!R // Word Count: 2,511

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It was late in the morning when Lena finally opened her eyes to the light coming from her bedroom window. She felt warm and relaxed, even happy for what felt like the first time in such a long time. She smiled and turned to see the cause and reason for such a miracle only to find empty space beside her. The side of her bed where you had laid to sleep the night before was now cold with rests of your scent lingering between the wrinkles of her sheets.

She sat upright, pulling them to cover her naked body, and looked around in confusion. There was no sign of you around the room. For a moment she had worried something had happened to you while she slept, because after all that was said and done the night before she couldn't find a reason why you wouldn't be there.

It had been the last game night of the year, and the superfriends had convinced Lena to host it. You had spent quite a few hours playing and drinking and dancing and laughing between turns, and Lena had left herself enjoy every single moment of your company as it was almost rare of you to be around big crowds. She had noticed that from the first time she ever met you.

When you finally starter to really meet each other, Lena realized there was so much she didn't know about you. Your life seemed like a mystery, full of blank spaces she tried to fill with whatever little clues she could gather about you. She knew there had been an accident when you were younger, one that had took most of the things you loved and left you instead marked by tragedy. Which explained most of your personality and your mannerisms. For most people, at first sight, you were a cold person. You remained calm and collected, always in control of your own emotions, as if you didn't want to be bothered by the rest of the world, and you didn't speak that much unless it was required.But Lena knew what it was to go through tragedy too and she could see it was only a facade to what laid beneath the surface.

You had in fact one of the gentlest personalities she had ever encountered and she had been, inevitably, drawn to you. It was your shy and little smiles and sneaky jokes only the closest people got to see, the few but always true words that came from you when someone needed them, and your soothing presence that always brought a sense of ease to her, like the flame of a bonfire illuminating and warming up the night. She wondered how it was when you truly opened up.

"(Y/N), I'm serious. I can clean this in the morning." Lena had told you, picking up plates and glasses after everyone else was gone.

"It's alright. Besides I'm partially responsible for this mess as I'm the one that suggested we played this." You said picking up loose pieces of monopoly someone had tossed in a tantrum.

"Well, now I know why this game was banned in the Danvers family. I just never imagined Alex was this competitive." Lena walked to the kitchen counter, leaving the plates for later but discovering a little silver car in a plate. She picked it and walked back towards you to return it. "Here."

You looked up from the floor from where you had been searching for any other missing pieces to find the little car in her hand. You pushed yourself up and took it, brushing your fingers against Lena's palm as careful as it was possible for you. Lena noticed it enough for her heart to skip a beat.

"You don't want to see her when she really loses it." She saw you smile fondly. "She can be scary."

"I can imagine, but I do wonder if you ever get like that." She smirked. "I actually think I have never seen you other than really ...zen."

"That's by design." She saw your expression briefly change to a small frown and then look at the car in your hand.

"What do you mean?" She couldn't help but wonder if she had inadvertently changed the course of the conversation as she felt this wasn't just about board games anymore.

"If I get like that people can get hurt and I don't want to hurt anyone." She watched as you looked back at her with an expression that told her you had said more than intended.

Lena figured that was maybe the closest she would get to an opportunity to see you finally open up. She wanted to know you and decided to take the chance.

"How could you hurt anyone?" She asked stepping closer to you. You fidgeted with the little car, the proximity of your bodies making you nervous for a moment.

You could also sense what was happening at that moment. Without meaning to, you had opened a little breach on the delicate crafted mystery you had surrounded yourself with and it wasn't that you didn't want to tell Lena all about you, that had been the first thing you may have ever wanted to do when you met her, but it was complicated. Because you weren't ready to bring back the memories, because you were afraid she would be scared, because you knew Lena didn't get along well with secrets.

"I wish I could tell." You breathed in, trying to calm yourself but knowing if she asked you couldn't deny her anything.

"So you never lose control, (Y/N)?" She asked searching again for your eyes.

"You don't want me to, Lena." You said looking back.

"What if I want exactly that?"

The little silver car found itself a new place on the floor after you felt Lena's lips move over yours. Your hands couldn't keep holding it as they wrapped around Lena's body. She could feel your initial hesitation. The way your hands moved with just and enough pressure that she was sure you were holding back but were unable to stop yourself.

Lena had wanted to ask much more about you that she didn't think even for a second to stop what happened next. She had wanted to unravel the truths you held under yourself but she hadn't imagined the desire to unravel just you was going to be stronger.

Now, as she felt the morning getting colder, she imagined she had crossed a line you hadn't been ready to and cursed before getting up. She tried to call you but after the second unanswered call she gave up. It was clear for her what had happened. So she decided to go on with her day. She had a busy schedule, enough to keep her thoughts away from you. She could deal with her messy feelings later.

"I never thought I would say this but, Hellfire, uh, hold your fire." You heard Supergirl call from above you after you swept a line of fire to keep the aliens at bay. "We don't want to make them kebabs."

"Maybe we should." You replied with a hint of a grunt. "We could end this faster."

Kara could hear the annoyance in your voice. "That would be a bad example."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I'm trying to hurry up!" You said launching a small fireball to an alien that was coming directly for you.

Almost an hour had passed already and you weren't done fighting. It didn't help that Lena had called and you had been unable to answer. Suddenly, you also felt about to lose your temper.

Your morning had started as a dream, better even, as you woke to the most beautiful woman you had ever met. Then it was all ruined when you received an emergency call from the DEO. There was an attack from an alien group right downtown and you were required as a back up under Alex's direct orders. You knew you couldn't say no. The threat seemed serious enough and while you had wanted to wait till late morning in the Lena's bed, your fair conscience wouldn't let you leave your friends alone. You had spent one of the most incredible nights of your life, and you were stuck fighting aliens. Mostly, you were afraid this was the beginning and the end of your relationship with Lena.

"Why are there so many?" You grunted as you finally landed a punch who knocked one of those aliens.

"(Y/N), focus. Your fire may spread." Kara said and you realized a couple of your fireballs had hit a couple of small vending carts.

The flames around you were getting bigger, and you had to stop for a second to take a few deep breaths to lessen them. You also didn't want to cause more collateral damage with your powers.

"Alright then, let's finish this before you do decide to carbonize them." She joked.

"Good." It was all you said before continuing the fight.

Finally, you managed to end the fight. All aliens were taken to the DEO and while Alex and Kara had wanted you to accompany them to fill the reports you told them you had an emergency somewhere else. So you burned and used your flames to propel yourself into the sky.

Lena was taking a small break after finishing a meeting, watching the news a bout the alien attack downtown when her phone started to ring. She recognized your number and frowned for a moment before deciding to answer.

"I'm sorry." She heard you say and it wasn't something she had expected to hear first on this conversation.

"You don't need to apologize, (Y/N)." Lena responded with a coldness that made you wince on the other side of the line. "I'm sure you had something more important to do this morning."

"N-no. Yes." You rushed and Lena was left confused for a moment. You never stuttered. "I mean that I... I didn't mean to leave like that. I want to tell you what happened."

"You don't need to explain."

"I do." You replied with more confidence. "Meet me in the rooftop."

That left Lena startled and the fact that you mentioned the rooftop got her even more nervous. So she hurried, leaving a call for her assistant to cancel the rest of her appointments, and headed to the company's rooftop.

She couldn't start to imagine why you were there or how you had managed to even get there in the first place, it seemed so out of yourself that she almost feared she really pushed your buttons last night. Whatever you were planning, she was going to make sure you didn't do anything more reckless.

She pushed the door to the rooftop and found you pacing in the middle at the base of the helipad. She could hear the whole city from up there and the wind rushing in her ears.

"(Y/N), what are you doing?" She said as she approached you.

You walked towards her and stopped a few steps away. "I'm sorry."

"I know but why don't we talk about this somewhere else?"

"I figured your office had fire alarms." You said.

"Fire alarms?" Lena tried to take another step towards you and you had to take a step back. "(Y/N), I don't understand what's happening."

"Do you remember what we talked about last night?" You saw Lena frown a bit in confusion. "About me never losing control because that would get people hurt?"

"Yes." Lena watched you with attention, noticing the subtle hesitation behind your eyes and your words.

"It's just that..." You shook your head and then took a deep breath before raising your arm. "It's hard to look at."

"(Y/N), you don't need to-" She saw the exact moment your arm began to catch fire. You held your hand at eye level and watched it as it started to burn.

She opened her mouth in shock and surprise as it finally clicked in her brain. The news about the alien attack were pretty much excited to have a better look at National City's new hero known as Hellfire and while looking at you she thought the name was fitting. You had been right, it wasn't something easy to look at. Soon enough it wasn't just your arm but your whole body burning. The flames made their way consuming you and she could see your burning flesh through them. Skin, muscle and bone was burning the way she would expect some piece of carbon to do so. Then it was your eyes, glowing like molten lava.

You let Lena watch for a moment before meeting her eye. After seeing the shock in her face you decided it was enough for a show. You took a deep breath once again and let the flames die, leaving your scorched skin exposed but it healed so fast that it was barely noticeable what had happened.

"When I was younger, the building I lived in with my family burned. It was night and we woke up to late to escape the fire. I was caught in the fire, and I burned...and burned, and burned, and burned." You remembered the night it had happened, still fresh in your memory and as painful as ever. "I was found in that same building during the night. I had no burns, no wounds, no scars, and no one that could explain how that was possible. They took me to the hospital and when they told me I had been the only survivor, I got so angry and desperate that I started a new fire right there."

Lena went back to the night before, the way you seemed to hold yourself, the way your hands touched her body almost methodically, the air becoming hotter with each heavy breath. She had imagined you were about to burst, and she had no idea how literal that could have been.

This time when she approached you she was glad you didn't step back again. "Why didn't you say anything before?"

"Because I was afraid of a lot of things. Because you ignite something in me, Lena, something I have no real control over." You swallowed, her closeness making you nervous once again.

"Last night you were pretty much under control." She moved closer and closer towards you. There was certain relief in her words. All her fears and doubts had been erased as she realized you wanted this as much as her.

"That's because the thing I'm most afraid of is hurting you. I would go mad if that ever happened." You lifted a hand up to her face and traced the line of her jaw with your fingertips. "I can't lose you."

"You won't." She said before she pulled you in for another kiss.

She felt your lips against hers and she found herself thinking again about the flames of a bonfire, warm and soothing against the cold of the night. She thought it wouldn't it be that bad to be consumed by your fire.

#lena luthor #lena luthor imagine #lena luthor imagines #lena luthor x reader #lena luthor x you #lena x you #lena x reader #metahuman reader #metahuman!reader #superhero #superhero!reader #superhero reader #angst with happy ending #fire #request #one shot #burns #tw burn

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honeypirate · 3 years

Text

Figure it out

Part four

Hinawa and fem reader

Masterlist here

The one with ✨ another song! ✨ And nurse 👨‍⚕️Hinawa!

I’m like that monkey at a type writer that people always say “even a monkey could write that” that’s how I feel with this lol but I like it anyway 😜

You wake up before him, slowly coming to consciousness as the sun shines into the window, your eyes flutter open and immediately look over to him, taking in his messy bed hair and calm face, a hand on his chest and one on his stomach. You watch him until you see him start to stir, then you take a deep breath and sit up, stretching out your arms and groaning at the pain and stiff muscles from your injury.

“Good morning sleepy head” you say when he sits up, he smiles “good morning” you smile at his morning voice, so low and raspy. “How do you feel?” he asks and you shrug “as good as i can post surgery with a stab wound. I don’t like that you were so overworked, but I’m glad I don't have to be here alone” he yawns and then smiles softly at you, his eyes still full of sleep as he gazes over at you “well, honestly, even if I didn’t have to be here, I still would come and stay by you if i knew you didn’t want to be alone.” you raise your eyebrows with a smile “you’d do that for me?” he nods and sighs, a soft sound containing all he feels about waking up and seeing you in the morning, makes him wish he stayed beside you when he slept in your bed. “of course i would. You’re important to me” he says softly and before you could discuss that any further nurses came through the door.

After their tests they tell you that Hinawa can be discharged and that you could as well if you promised to be on bed rest with minimal office duties for the next few months until you’re fully healed. You decided to take that offer because there was no way in hell you’d sleep in this bed another night, they gave you some as needed pain medication and a prescription for another month, with an appointment to get your stitches taken out in two weeks.

Back at the base you head towards the Captain’s office but Hinawa stops you “you heard them. you should go rest. I’ll tell Captain Obi” you’re about to insist you’re fine but he shakes his head, holding out your medication he was carrying “go, take some of your medication and rest” he orders and gently shoves you in the direction of your room and you huff before sticking your tongue out at him as you walk away, keeping your right arm against your middle so you didn’t move your stitches.

You stop by the kitchen to get some water and run into Maki, “oh Y/N you’re finally back! How are you?” “it’ll take more than a little knife to take me out” you say and laugh gently as you get yourself a glass of water “how long will you be out?” you take one of your pills before you say “a couple months, i hope less though” she nods “you should go rest but it’s my turn for dinner so it’ll be done in a few hours” you nod “okay thank you, see you later”

When you make it back to your room you lay down, the short walk strangely exhausting, you find yourself panting, your side hurting. “Okay, i’ll just lay here until my meds kick in, then i’ll get up” you close your eyes, trying to distract you from the throbbing pain, focusing on evening out your breaths, you didn’t notice when the meds kicked in because you were already asleep.

When you wake up again it’s dark outside, your clock’s lights reading 12:23am, you lay there for a moment, considering going back to sleep but your stomach rumbles and you groan, having missed all meals today you were starving. You slowly roll out of bed, the familiar walk taking longer because of your baby steps.

He was worried when you didn’t come to dinner, but he figured you were sleeping when your door was quiet, and figured he would make you a good breakfast in the morning. He woke up to your singing again, your voice from the kitchen vents

“It's nothing, it's so normal you You just stand there, I could say so much But I don't go there 'cause I don't want to I was thinking if you were lonely Maybe we could leave here and no one would know At least not to the point that we would think so”

He pushes off his blanket and quickly makes his way to the kitchen.

The lights are on this time, illuminating the hallway from the open door “And I couldn't tell, if anyone here was feeling the way I do But I'm lonely now, and I don't know how To get it back to good”

he walks in and smiles at the sight of you singing softly, heating up some of dinner with a metal bowl with your hands on either side, using your fire instead of the microwave. “Hey” he says and you look up at him from the counter you had used a chair to be able to sit on top of, “hey are you hungry?” you ask and he shrugs “i could eat” you laugh “perfect, I already have enough for you here”

You convince him to eat on the couch since you were injured, and he carries both of your bowls as you walk, he tells you everything you missed during the later afternoon and evening, the fights over dinner and the new information about the white clad. Once you’re sitting on the couch, he hands you your bowl and you smile up at him warmly “thank you Hinawa” he nods and sits next to you, his thigh pressed into yours leaving no space between you. He was warm and it was comforting, you found yourself leaning into him but didn’t care enough to stop, you were injured and medicated and needed some comfort from him

You eat in silence and when you are just thinking about how you needed a drink, Hinawa hands you a bottle of water. you didn’t question it, just took it with a smile. After you were done eating, you leaned your head against his shoulder and closed your eyes “when I was younger, I used to help out on my grandma’s farm in the Chinese peninsula. well one day i was messing around while working, completly goofing off, and slipped in some mud while carrying these 5 gallon buckets full of water with lids on them. i slipped and landed on the very edge of the lid. The edge went right between two of my ribs and cracked them. What was the worst was that one of the farm workers saw it happen and came to ask me if i was okay and I just popped up and pretended i was fine, i said “at least i didn’t spill the water!” and laughed And he gave me this like” you raise your head and look at him with a super worried face, causing him to chuckle “and he said ‘no sweetheart,who cares about the water. Are YOU okay?” you chuckle, the medication making your ribs only slightly ache, “I didn’t even find out my ribs were hurt until later, showing my grandma my bruises that night, it hurt to laugh for two weeks or so” you lean your head against his shoulder “you must have been a really tough kid” you smile and nod “I guess I was, but the actual reason why I told you this story,” you frown and bring your hand up, grabbing his shirt sleeve gently and turn your face further into his arm, your voice more muffled now “ this injury is going to take longer to heal than that one, which means less time I can laugh. And I love joking around with you every day, love that you make me laugh easily, I don’t want to have to miss out on that for a long time” he chuckles and lifts his arm, wrapping it around your shoulders and gently holds you a little closer “i’m sorry you wont get my amazing jokes for the next little while” you lean up and point at him “you have to keep telling me things! No! Don't stop. I will just control myself!” he smiles and you get a little embarrassed by your outburst “please, dont stop telling me funny things. Okay?” you whisper and he nods “okay, but if you hurt yourself and laugh i will stop right then” you nod quickly “deal! No going back on it!”

He laughs some more and you lean back into him, a smile on your face as you try and hold in a groan, pain shooting in your side from your wound, hoping to get away with it until Hinawa tenses, scooting forward and looking at your side with a worried face, thats when you notice the blood on his side and you gasp, looking down at yourself and seeing the blood spot against your white shirt “you might have ripped a stitch” he says and you sigh “fuck. Can you help me? I can't quite..” you hold your hands up and try to reach it to showing him how awkward it is, he nods “i’ll meet you in the bathroom for the better light after i put the dishes away i’ll grab the first aid kit and be right there” you nod and stand, wincing with the movement, thankfully Hinawa wasn’t looking and you sighed in relief. When you look up to himhe looks straight into your eyes “i saw that” he says and then laughs at your look “i’m not going to lecture you this time though, not unless you do this again” you nod and salute weakly “yes sir” he shakes his head and holds the two bowls stacked in one hand, his other resting on your lower back as you walk down the hall together, not moving it until you pass the kitchen and he leaves you to continue your slow shuffle by yourself.

You reach the bathroom and manage to maneuver your way up onto the counter top and once you do you look to the doorway and see him standing there, an amused smile on his lips “did you..?” he laughs “yeah, the whole thing. Im impressed with how determined you were, i could have just lifted you if you waited” you sigh and he comes over to you holding the first aid kit and an extra shirt

He looks at you for a few moments, you look back into his eyes without speaking, like you were lost in his beautiful golden orbs, until you realized he can’t help you with your shirt still on. You blush and look down before you use your arm on your good side to lift the bottom up over your head before pulling it down your other arm and holding it in your lap as you avoid eye contact now, suddenly feeling very self conscious.

He watches as you take off your shirt, the tips of his ears turning pink because of how soft your skin looks, of how gorgeous you are. He watches as you blush and shrink into yourself, watching the physical response of your self consciousness. “Hey” he says softly and you hum in question without looking up at him. He reaches out and with his first three fingers, gently tilts your head to look at him.

“Let’s fix you up okay? Don’t worry I wont hurt you” you smile at his warmth “I trust you Hinawa” he nods “good” he drops his hand and then washes them in the sink next to you before opening the first aid kit and slowly peeling off the bandage stuck to your skin with tape.

He dabs at your would gently with a wet washcloth as you hold your arm up, clutching your opposite shoulder so it’s out of his way. “it’s not bad, you won't have to go back to the doctor, you just need to take it easy and go to bed after i’m done” you smile as you study his face while he looks at your stab wound. He dabs it with peroxide, then puts on some neosporin so it won't stick to the gauze he places over it and then another bandage that he wraps around your middle instead of taping it to you.

“Is this too tight?” he asks and you shake your head “no, it’s perfect. Thank you for your help.” he nods “of course, here, i brought you a shirt” he hands you one of his extra black shirts and you thank him before taking it and trying to put it on. He watches as you struggle for a moment before reaching out, helping you unfold it and slip it up over your bad arm and then holds it as you slip your other arm through it, gently sliding the soft material down all the way, his fingers brushing across the skin on your back.

Once you brush your teeth and make sure you have everything you need, you lay in bed, him helping you get situated in silence. You watch him, a question in your eyes that you’re too embarrassed to ask “Do you want me to stay?” he asks for you and you smile shyly “only if you want to though” he smiles and then looks into your eyes “if i am being honest, I slept the best next to you than i have in the all of my adult years” you beam up at him “then you’re saying you’ll-” he nods “I’ll stay” your heart warms and your stomach floods with butterflies as he climbs into your bed beside you.

Because of your wound you have to lay on your side facing him, a smile on your lips and your eyes looking at his face as he lays beside you “you can’t sleep unless you shut your eyes” he says with a smirk, his eyes never opening. You reach out and grab his side, pulling yourself as close to him as you can and moving down just a little before you bury your face in his chest, he chuckles and watches you, waiting until you're comfortable before he gently wraps his arm over you.

“Tell me a story?” you ask and he sighs with a smile into your hair “real or fake?” he asks and you smile into his chest “you decide” he hums as he thinks “okay, ill tell you the story and at the end you can guess if you think it’s fake or real” he thinks for a moment before kissing the top of your head and beginning his story, his hand coming up to play with your hair that’s on the bed behind you

“There once was a prince of a small kingdom, he was handsome, intelligent, and level headed. One day the prince’s best friend was poisoned by a neighboring kingdom that was trying to start a war. The prince vowed then and there that he would never allow himself to care for another person again, never wanting to feel the same pain and grief again. He lived like this for many years, keeping his heart guarded, thinking he was doing the right thing” you were trying so hard to pay attention, forcing yourself to stay awake for this, it felt important. But the sound of his voice, the smell of him, and the warmth of him holding you, that fights to pull you to sleep.

“One day the prince met a princess, she came to stay at his kingdom and they became friends, laughing and joking with each other every day, she was the only one in the kingdom who seemed to understand everything about him without even trying. She easily walked into his heart and made it her home, walking through each wall and barrier like it was nothing, like it was her purpose to make him feel again. The only one who made feelings joyous instead of exhausting. She saw every hidden part of the Prince and made him feel worthy, she showed him how nice it is to have someone close to him who understands and doesn't make him feel guilty about where he lacks. The door in his heart opened for her like she had the only key.” you smile, thinking about how lovely the princess sounds. He swallows hard and his hand stills, strands of your hair twisted gently around each finger.

“The Prince fell in love with the Princess easily, even though he hadn’t felt the feeling for years she easily claimed all of his love as her own. She would sing to him, call him to her with her angelic voice. She made him laugh easily and not to mention she was an amazing person. She is kind, smart, and the prince is positive she is made of everything sweet and good. One day the princess got hurt.” Your fingers clutch his shirt gently as you whisper “oh no” he chuckles and kisses the top of your head before continuing “She got hurt and the Prince couldn't protect her. He felt terrible about it even though there wasn’t anything he could have done in the moment, he was tied up at the time. There was nothing he hated more than seeing her hurt and wished he could save her from it, but since he couldn’t, he would do anything he could to help her as she recovered. staying by her side and protecting her until she was strong again, until she was back to being able to protect herself. then he would go back to being her partner, and not just her nurse and guard.” You sigh and turn your face so your cheek presses against his chest “I like the prince” you whisper and he smiles

“Real or fake?” he asks and you hum into his chest, too far asleep to truly answer. You hum again and try to wake yourself up more but your mouth doesnt say what your brain tells it, it just mumbles out “my.. prince” before taking a deep breath and sighing into his chest, completely unconscious.

He wakes up with a start, panic in his heart from a dream he can’t remember. He looks down at you in his arms, a smile on your sweet sleeping face. You looked like an angel in his arms, the sun on the horizon hitting your window illuminated the back of you like a halo. He tried to move, to get comfortable again, but your unconscious hand gripped his shirt, and his heart. He was frozen to the spot, his heart racing thinking he woke you up, he waited a moment before looking down at you again.

“Maybe, if this happens again, we could sleep in your bed. It’s bigger than mine right?” you say and snuggle further into him, making sure you don't hurt yourself anymore, your wound was already throbbing and you didn't want to make it worse until you had to get up. He chuckles and kisses the top of your head “right” he clears his throat, the sun rising waking him up more, “you’d want to, do this again? Sleep beside each other?” you look up then, opening your eyes purposefully to look into his, “Hinawa” you reach up to cup his cheek “why wouldn’t i? You keep me safe. Do you think that these have just been coincidences? That it was just because you happened to be here?” you pull your hand down and furrow your brows “unless you don’t like mmm--“ you stop and change your sentence “ You don't want to. Then I mean yeah of course whatever you want I don’t want to make you uncomfortable” he smooths out your brows gently with his finger and he chuckles softly “shhh shh it’s not like that” he gently wraps his arm around you and holds you to his chest, his hand gentle against the back of your head.

A knock sounds at your door followed by Maki’s voice “sorry to wake you y/n but we have an emergency meeting in 5” you tense, knowing it must be big if they’re waking everyone “thank you Maki” when her footsteps retreat is when Hinawa lets you go, he looks into your eyes, he was sad you had to part so soon but he knew it must be important. “We’ll talk later” you smile softly and nod as he gets up softly and helps you out of bed so you didn't hurt yourself. At your door he cups your cheek with a smile before silently slipping out your door.

#hinawa fanfiction #hinawa imagines #hinawa x y/n #hinawa x you #hinawa takehisa x reader #fire force hinawa #hinawa x reader #takehisa hinawa fanfiction

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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 years

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returning the favor: do you have any hcs re: winston, past or present, that you haven't expounded upon before or at length or just feel like talking about again. whatever you like

Thank You.......yeah idk really what hc's i've like "officially" described here that often lol, but then also there's that whole complication where i don't really ever come up with ideas & when asked anything i'm probably going [???] like, classics like "what do you like out of [broad parameter]" & it's like damn....i dunno. what ideas do i have about winsotn who i've thought about every day for > 2 yrs??? that's tough.....& Then the further chaos of like, when i do have hc's or w/e it's less discrete, concrete invented ideas & more towards the end of the spectrum that's like "well i kinda interpret this part of canon vaguely this way" &/or "i have This vague notion that i haven't solidified into a pretend fact or that i'm not at all committed to or take that seriously" where it's like, not only is this not really nailed down but it's basically free floating / i might have other ideas that would contradict each other lol. seems like a more concise list of Stats that are fully/exclusively my ideas is more exciting, but instead i can offer vague "i dunno / what ifs" based on vibes that i verbosely describe lmao, plus i'll forget a bunch of ideas i may have had i'm sure but you know. what else have i ever offered; never really trying to sell this material to otherwise uninterested parties or only make posts that guaranteed more than one person might enjoy, why would i be starting now; and ig if i write a bunch of stuff here & go "oh & i forgot like a half dozen obvious things" i can add on to it if it's a big deal.....plus it's always tricky with billions in particular being vague abt its own characters lmao, we only see [outside of work] personal stuff if it's going to become directly tied to [definitely at work] professional plotlines, or Maybe glimpse some character contextualizing things for the more central characters....side characters have more blanks to fill but also that means. just more that's blank lol & kinda a mystery of Up To Interpretation.....i figured one way to have any structure for this at all is to have a part looking at each winston involving episode's info. well anyways, after this meandering intro that kind of illustrates how i'm sure the rest of things will go here lol, i'm just gonna throw a bunch of stuff down in general. thanks again for the prompt to do so, b/c why not

really the one concrete discrete idea i have which isn't in the canon text is, of course: he is autistic

does he Know? idk. either way, think he's pretty aware of how he operates (& how he Can't operate), but if he doesn't know that's probably more for the "also: he's self loathing, which was basically textually implied" stuff lol. just mentioned it but i do always enjoy the tayston idea that taylor's talking abt in the past having it floated by a therapist/s or whomever that they could be autistic, them considering it but it not applying; winston going "hmm" & doing his own considering & researching & then maybe exclusively sharing the news w/taylor....but of course, maybe he's figured it out himself at some point before. i do think he'd figure it out himself though rather than anyone else directly suggesting it (maybe out here being diagnosed with "just the guy who sucks who we don't like / won't act right or normal" sort of usual experience) & i think, if he knows, he's not about to want ppl at work to know, b/c not as though anyone (but taylor & other quants) particularly seems to be impressed by his quanting proficiency, but he sure gets some validation/affirmation through that route (more re: that of course) and knows that ppl going "oh he's autistic so of course he's better at Doing Math / computer stuff as a like, mechanical efficiency sort of thing" or whatever. and the fact that taylor can interact with him / gives him some leeway to generally do his thing means he's kind of already got space to operate how he operates, see the start of this section....and idk. transitioning into the next section ig

just an Interpretation Of Canon thing here but, re: how these characters generally operate & what their reason is for being around doing stuff in the first place, i guess it's that winston does genuinely like to do & is interested in the math/coding stuff involved here, was also genuinely interested in working for taylor specifically (whatever The Hype specifically was), then you have taylor having the "despite your demeanor, your skills are superior" stance & appreciating what he can do & letting him do it by hiring him for real & all, & here we are, Q is for Quantitative, baby......he must find it rewarding enough to be getting to do this quanting stuff and also, the potential for validation when anyone recognizes he's good at it & by extension finds something about him good & wants him around to any degree

okay just that Episode By Episode stuff for a section here

3x03:

kinda extra room for interpretation b/c this was written as a one off character and reintroducing him in 3x09, written to be recurring, feels like it kinda offers a Soft Reboot for what we got here, where i guess how i take things is that we can suppose in both 3x03 & 3x09 winston's putting on a deliberate Performance to some degree based on what he thinks the potential employer wants to see, but it's also not completely fake / inaccurate either time, & like, maybe the 3x03 vibe wasn't a type of performance he'd only just ever put on for this axe cap interview, & even if it was deliberately bold maybe he was sort of thinking he Could bank on his value as a quant meaning he holds most of the cards (or can get away with acting like it)

building on that & as a More General point of interpretation again: think it's easy to suppose winston could've had an existence w/many elements of frustrations & disappointments & Rejection, but where like, he did figure out these areas of interest & proficiency that seemed to be a more positive force in his life, & leaned into them / focused on them further for it, & i could see him focusing on milestones / graduating from one thing to the next & conceptualizing like, well, if i just get to This point by working on This thing then i'll have it together & be able to move through existence more successfully, like, there's winston going into undergrad & kind of disappointed he's not having that good a time socially / feels like he's missing out / being left out still, but he can be like, well that's fine (: i'm totally fine abt it b/c i'm focusing on the Education & Experience here & when i'm entering the job market as an amazing quant anyone would want to hire then ppl will be seeing me in a positive light & things will fall into place / go great for me / i'll feel like i fit in & am doing things right within some structure. & i think maybe he Did have all those other job offers / opportunities & he was at least partly feeling a bit "objectively" confident, & also maybe just hoping he Could be that confident & that, you know, if he goes ahead & acts like that's the case, it could be confirmed / become true....anyways then obviously disillusionment time

since his outfits are introduced here: more "just how i'm interpreting canon" stuff in that i do just suppose he is mostly focusing on comfort & it'd kinda get in the way of things if he couldn't. flipflops might've been a statement piece but also i figure at least in part about the comfort / lack of much opportunity for restriction or ill fit or chafing texture or anything, same goes re: pants & shirts. interesting he likes to wear the patterned layers but doesn't really wear like, stripes or plaid ever. plus it could well be that Just A Tee is too informal unless you're the formalest of all by virtue of position, i.e. the ceo, but also we sure often enough see him wearing hoodies &/or multiple layers, like, maybe that's just for warmth or weight or what have you, always considering "what if it's about being self conchy as well (different way of saying self conscious)"

3x09:

so yeah with winston not having taken another job (at least maybe only like, temporary ones as these self contained gigs / just something to pay the bills) figure it's been a Depressive Period for him here lol & deliberately going on a journey of like self reflection / examination & going "haha yeah hated what i saw" is like, i don't think the self loathing is anything new, the confidence in 3x03 kind of an optimistic bandaid lol like well here's the new me as i understand / hypothesize / hope he could be, totally confident in being backed up by how valuable he is as a quant, then taylor kind of ripped that off and wound's open again but that wound was also not brand new or something he was unaware of / that didn't affect him before now

re: math meetup, i can see that being him presenting more evidence of his talent as a quant but also specifically going "see, i do this collaborative thing" to present this more conciliatory and cooperative approach to taylor, & am also taking it as evidence that he really does Enjoy math / coding stuff beyond it simply being a means to a professional end. i also like to think he has been / continues going to math meetup regularly, at least once a month, maybe every other week, and that it's this semi social event, like the relevant irl group you found back in the day that like, meets up for pizza before and drinks afterwards. i also like to think that, like, while he might come off as A Bit Much during said math meetup / just speak up frequently enough and often enough with some insistence lol, people Are there to meet up about the math and his contributions Are valued despite if his delivery/approach isn't always endearing or whatever. and even if he's not really popular / warmly embraced in the more [socializing event] bookends of the meetup, he's perfectly tolerated, and there's even a person or two or three (also regular attendees) who do vibe with him enough to like, invite / even want him to sit with them / talk with them outside that Math Setting. math meetup pals, maybe he doesn't meet up with these people outside these events but maybe they have each other's contacts and sometimes text. not these intimate personal relationships, but still something real and positive and refreshing. it'd be nice if math meetup could kinda be like what he hoped for from quanting, this way his math lets him "qualify" to access this group / activity, his aptitude "making up for" perceived lack of interpersonal / social charm & charisma & what have you, & having some reliably friendly people around even if of course that's not on its own going to mean he's totally socially fulfilled / not often lonely or anything. hc: he's often lonely & not totally socially fulfilled

he does, of course, want to work for taylor specifically, as long as they want him to, and this is sort of his second chance to find validation through working as a quant lol. think that yeah sure winston likes validation in general, who doesn't but also of course he's maybe a bit Above Average sensitive to / keen on it, but he'll also care about Affirmation if it's coming from people whose opinion he particularly values. think that it's easy to suppose he's also especially sensitive to taylor's assessments here thanks to the fact they really hit a (raw) nerve with him like, sure is the potential to get caught up in feedback loop city & say, have a few months mired in self loathing & an especial lack of certainty & confidence, if someone's kinda gone "i hate your self hatred" lol, but he also Did have this especial interest in / high opinion of taylor before that 3x03 interview, & so that's what continues to be part of it here

but then also interpreting that second 3x09 scene as like, he Does independently Know His Value as a quant and yknow not only has his pride but also can't and isn't going to first and foremost focus on trying to socially perform being peak Accommodating and Appealing here lol. but he still cares about what taylor thinks, wants to work for/with them, and i think it was Mutually Appreciated in the last scene that there was Mutual Effort to cooperate w/the other, giving him a Cue instead of just being mad & obfuscating it unless & until giving up on him completely or w/e is Constructive. interpreting winston as someone who sure can be a bit petty on purpose, especially in the face of some wounded pride (where he seems to take pride in his quant abilities & maybe not much of anything else: see the self loathing otherwise), but isn't really one to be deliberately antagonistic, especially not towards, yknow, the person he specifically wants to appeal to, but he also knows he can come off as grating whether inadvertently or not, so he might be testing the waters a little as well

3x11

he's using headphones even though no one else is in the room, that's a preference / he may also just like to block out other sound in general, as there's no audio of [winston's music faintly playing as / before he takes off his headphones] or indication he paused anything. does he like metal, what with the yngwie malmsteen reference? maybe, but that might just be a Billions Reference thing that isn't meant to indicate much / anything abt the specific character. i don't have any hcs about it anyways besides "okay" if so

first time we see his watch, it's not the calculator watch until s5 but i am a fan of said calc watch....gotta suppose it could represent him being here for the math of it all, what with how fancy/expensive watches are kinda the whole like status / power play thing, and a calculator watch is, afaik, not expensive, these casio calculator watch listings i'm seeing are all priced like, $15 to $25 range. so.

2nd scene is the first time we see sleeves pushed up, a frequent choice, maybe if he's focusing sleeves against forearms / Wrists & Hands can be bothersome. also not the first time he puts his hands in his pockets but i think that's a deliberate choice for winston's sort of Default Pose, equate it to the choice to have jared hang / hold on to his backpack straps.

guess he can also be a bit petty / rude / grating on purpose if ppl are getting in the way of his mathing / coding or otherwise thwarting it, at least probably taylor can relate / sympathize what with them wanting to Get It Right / being bothered if people get it wrong but could've avoided this

noticing all the caffeine and the fact he maybe didn't leave the basement / was powering through that project All At Once....just noting that down as a potential Approach, wanting to not interrupt focus &/or bear down & keep a fairly intense pace until it's finished / stay in the zone or what have you

definitely doing some deliberately cocky Testing / pushing back / amicable power struggle with taylor there, confirming he does have leverage due to that quanting ability after all, Despite His Demeanor / not being "sweet"

by this point definitely consciously kinda wants taylor to rail him.

4x03

i have no concrete hc's of instances inspiring winston to think he's "always seeing the future" but god i wish he did. he's right a lot though, maybe he just notices as much lol

talking mostly to taylor here, then concluding with "i only thought it but didn't say it; doesn't count....damnit." like he wants Their validation thanks, even if recognizing his Win here still wouldn't help them either way....also first time we see him w/coworkers for real, he's really freely Interacting.....time to go ahead and say he'd like to be work friends / at least have friendly interactions at work, might be a bit desperate for such positive social interactions, especially in this environment where he thinks the "objectively" good thing about him is most relevant, but it's cringe & fail (&/or vulnerable to Attack) to outright Want something, like validation / affirmation / a positive response or a simple "yeah you're right" "positive" response

first Space Shirt, followed by ones that are like, also &/Or Sci Fi Shirts. does he like space? i guess so

he's autistic

4x08

here & in 4x11, we don't know how he's gotten this info about taylor re: the arc w/their dad or with axe cap, but he's apparently mused on it on his own like this & isn't just quoting what someone else told him about how taylor must feel about xyz & how that might apply to the situations at hand, even though (unless he cassandra'd it) he wouldn't've had that much cause to suppose it'd definitely be relevant to have ideas about how taylor feels / is navigating a situation & why, maybe he just likes to be prepared like that / stay in the loop but yknow, maybe he's just also interested in them as a person beyond what's most immediately relevant to him doing quant stuff for them

he's already done the sort of kicking himself / wincing / apologizing or agreeing he fucked up an exchange thing before but, the genuine disappointment / momentary discouragement in it always lol....self loathing guy

love how he has these little like, clarifying explanations of things. "total control of the instrument," "always seeing the future," "because i win".....he's out here wanting to communicate to connect & to be understood, not so much as a potential for a power play / status climb and thus a conflict.....can see ppl who are used to / Do see interactions in that light to interpret winston yelling about having won as a like, rubbing it in people's faces show of superiority thing, but pretty sure he's just excited and wants a high five

4x11

having talked about the fact none of the desks in the tmc hq main floor seem to be winston's (& knowing that Could just be wroland not being reliably available to be in the bg of shots lol, analyzing s4 shots for some Consistently Empty desk) but it is fun to also consider that maybe tmc Could've had a secret extension in that that quant haunt in the basement was kept. a little more furnishing and it could be pretty chill, even though the lack of windows might not always be ideal. where's he sit!

also the whole "guy who'd be the first one smothered" moment like, guess i could've mentioned it in 3x03 more but yeah my Headcanon here is that winston maybe has a master's degree, not a phd though (him saying "50 phds" in 3x11 i think was meant to differentiate from him on both points, aka he's 1 guy, without a phd) & this is his first "real" job in any field. b/c i'm guessing like, people are here to get Paid, but as mentioned w/the watch (& just how winston acts in general, he doesn't really seem like he's raring to show off / really take advantage of having money or anything) it doesn't seem like he's, like, the "exceptionally focusing on personally making as much as possible" guy, and lauren's remark seems to emphasize / place the context on winston just not having like, savings from prior salaried years at a job or anything, more of a practical matter, maybe he's out here hoping for some more financial security, also they are all living in nyc, so. on that note, maybe he has an okay apartment but like, not without problems / not absolutely ideal, but it's okay. this would just be Convenient as an hc also lol

don't think the monologue was completely memorized, but it wasn't completely off the cuff either, he'd maybe been brainstorming scripts in his head / had some particular parts solidified word for word, but also hardly think he was guaranteed planning to deliver an admonishlogue at all, seems like it was some important factors that he was just kind of already irritated, nobody was listening / people Were social pressuring him to drop it or not interested in entertaining like "yeah i think you should talk to taylor about it" at all, think it was clear that talking to others was only going to lead to them telling him to drop it / trying to not have anyone say anything to taylor, and then that taylor just jumped in, which i hardly think he was hoping for

always Something that we can expressly see winston moving to sit down in that soon to be empty meeting room as everyone else is clearly filing out lol, like, can see how he might not be able to go "well, back to work" immediately and need some irritation / feeling like shit / guess who just got yeeellllllllllled aaaaaat to burn off, might need some time to absorb "well i guess i just deferred so no bonus as was probably expected," but can also suppose that maybe when winston gets majorly Shut Down he has shutdowns. saying all of four words in the wake of things, otherwise the fact he has this approach of tensing up, not talking at all, kind of just holding onto eye contact as his last way of "properly" participating in the exchange w/o bailing entirely, while also outwardly withering, like clearly these kinds of moments are pretty significantly affecting....feels like he could find it difficult to talk much, or at all, in the wake of some / need some time to recuperate a bit & have some distance & quiet & not just jump back into work like he's having a fine and normal time. sometimes pondering like, not only those notions like taylor insisting winston not be Interrupted when he hasn't technically started talking yet (giving him the buffering / latency time) but also like, fun kinda imagining them sitting across from each other having a texting conversation....or times winston would rather have an exchange via email......or make use of the sticky notes......or just have taylor talking to him and picking up on his nonverbal responses

winston's very Not present in tmc meetups / get togethers this season & again we know that this could be because his actor wasn't very available but it's still the case In Canon that there's only so many tmcers and they're all seeing each other outside work / market hours for varyingly formal or informal purposes & he's never included. & simultaneously hold the hc's that he could be choosing not to go or he could just never be invited in the first place l o l.....in either of these situations the reason for declining to go or being excluded could be up to "b/c other ppl don't like having him around" and idk, best case scenario is he doesn't want to go for some other reason, but he acts pretty okay with the All Hands meetups we do see / when in meetings with the other named employees he's pretty raring to interact with them, so :/

4x12

i do like to think it's fun to imagine What If Taylor Had A Phonecall With Winston Before This Monologue; someone once told me that explaining is an admission of failure, i'm sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart.....just them both having a more sympathetic approach with each other and a sort of dialed back reconciliation, tbt 3x09, without an audience / roomful of other people

do think that his wearing a tmc logo tee into axe cap hq was a deliberate Statement Piece, like wearing flipflops into axe cap in his true first time being there lol

first time we see the backpack, & the headphones (in this season), like the point you (nothingunrealistic) made about the backpack possibly kind of exerting pressure / compression in a Sensory Way. let's see it again

as good a time as any to bring up how it's such a consistent pattern that it Must be a choice that winston smiles in this direction :/ and grimaces / winces / frowns this way :\ but a choice of the actor of course, was it ever a conscious thing on winston's end, would not put it beyond the realm of possibility he's ever consciously thought of stuff like "even if words fail me(tm) i Gotta hang on to eye contact".....i'm thinking of times he is smiling hard enough that you just gotta do it more symmetrically, like here in 4x12

5x01

he likes bagels

think that this could've been another case of "people who are used to interactions used for conflict / power plays / stepping on other people to status climb (axe cappers in general, maybe team ben having to be extra prone to be on the lookout for these strategies when they're more often on the receiving end of them) misinterpreting winston socializing as means of connection (wanting to talk about the common work thread / interest with coworkers)"

even if for some reason quants were cold shouldering axe cappers like, a sound strategy even if team ben are worthy exceptions. Winston Can Get Petty When People Blame Quants Talking About Being Quants For Axe Cappers Harassing Tmc & also when in the process of doing so everyone's like "also you're smarter than us but no you're not, any math quants could do fundamental analysts could do better" like, winston getting more deliberately antagonistic when ppl are going after his Math Aptitude / value as a quant when that's his "objective" point of pride & confidence & possibly like haha self loathing can't get me here

5x02

winston's decimal points being more precise here i think indicates that the show is not taking the stance of "yeah the quants are just any old analysts with an attitude of superiority" lol

do think he selected that particular seating placement b/c it's like, hey furthest away from axe cap, most aligned with taylor's desk & angled towards it, perfect.....what a letdown

guess this episode suggests he and mafee have chats sometimes, and winston maybe confides At All Sensitive Info w/the guy? bold

always just smh like well thank god we were given this subplot where winston was a plot device really for dollar bill's arc or whatever............what a gift

5x03

just noticing as always how winston is the one person saying they should go for it vs the other two's skepticism / trepidation, and taylor decides to go for it.....they do value his input / trust his judgment

i am also noticing how often winston, as the math guy who doesn't really fit in w/ the whole axe / caply approach & style, has this role in giving taylor these crucial opportunities to pursue their own direction rather than be mired down in the misery of axe cap determining everything....3x11 & his algorithm letting them break completely away from axe cap, 4x11 & his admonishlogue making some Points & then next episode taylor does decide to abandon the revenge jag & says they were wrong & they're sorry....5x03 & this nlp strategy plotline being the first thing taylor could actively pursue for tmc after 2 eps of being dragged painfully through axe cap nonsense, & the fact this, in the next episode, leads to the Impact Fund idea / mase carb

5x04

see that last point

5x05

guess that until confirmed, The Glances being significant is a Headcanon Interpretation lol. anyways i do like taylor giving him these discreet, nonverbal cues as a very deliberate method of communication titrated betwixt them

oh right and an Age Cue here, before that was nailed down i think i already hc'd winston as either the same age as, or a year older than taylor, and that's still true lol, think that's how it goes with the timelines (taylor's being kinda uncertain, and winston's as well, having prior just kinda gone "well if taylor's 22 when they show up as the typical post undergrad age, and each season spans approx a year, and maybe winston spent just a year or two post undergrad getting a master's b/c nothing nails down how long it would take & he could've kinda been ahead of the curve as it were, he could be, say, 23 thru 25 in s3 when he shows up, to taylor's Maybe 23" as the Idea)

just wants to work for taylor as long as they'll have him, but would also like to be openly valued / affirmed on a pretty basic level lol...

one of those matters that's like, i do think that this is what the material is Trying to convey but it's not concrete / explicit, in that i think winston somewhat Likes rian right off lol like. i mean he's also still annoyed on principle, this is maybe his replacement & that stings that it's even a possibility & of course he has reason to want to feel like "oh well this person Clearly sucks" lol, but then there he is trying to scope out the situation & get immediate intel & it's like, here's this fellow 20something you immediately think is pretty (the mental comparison to an A lister as a dunk, lmao) & you see her being perfectly friendly with your nice coworker you're also friendly enough with, that's one degree of separation, now here he comes talking about how cool & epic & smart & capable she is, again makes sense he's still first & foremost bothered by the situation & has cause to just be more jealous about how well everyone immediately thinks of her (see: winston making bad first impressions that may never be undone, the fact other coworkers were probably never going around openly impressed with / praising him after meeting him for 5 sec, or like, ever) but i suppose this immediate underlying sense of attraction / affinity hits in that First Sighting as well

love that we see the feet up on the desk show of confidence again, very funny & glad it's back.....a tool in his arsenal for when he's Very Bothered But (unsuccessfully) Acting Very Unbothered / when he's trying to pitch for his employment lol

when did he have a first gf? perfect time for an hc.....feels like it'd have been like, idk, older high schoolers at the youngest, that kind of emotional commentary....or in college. sometimes pondering the idea like, what if he had a bf first actually.....or not, & Feeling A Way around other guys sometimes like, hmm guess i think this guy is pretty cool &/or i'm kinda like "god i wish that were me" about, then some more noticeable Tension as he's older even if he can't really discern the reason b/c this person's pretty nice & cool actually, hmm. then one day you're doing hw together with a while for code to compile & Oh Hey Lol

meanwhile think clearly rian defuses the Reason For Rivalry (and also clearly immediately likes him / interacting with him & you know, outright sticks up for him & in this significant way) & then when they connect over Math it's all coming together very outright like Oh Hey Lol 😳

also he Gets Right Back To Work easily enough, & like, i think already there's a deliberate performance of "i'm now totally unbothered," but he's just pretty good at shaking things off apparently. & he kind of has to be, to not bail completely or else tamp down his own personality / avoid interactions, but you know. plus that like, he may get irritated when his pride's wounded but around here people can have a whole crisis & arc about it if their egos are bruised in the slightest, so like. pretty blasé

5x06

this isn't really any hc or Interpretation by any stretch but this is the first time we've seen winston pull that particular attitude in that second scene with rian and it's beautiful.....if something's bothering him he's so often like outright indignant but this is like, i'm Bothered but i'm being so dignant about it, for like 4 sec

also the bright green hoodie / bright, high contrast, geometric blockbuster tee is so Vivid but like, always noting how he wears relatively colorful outfits. fun to go "maybe this one's deliberately extra eye catching b/c of this new crush" lol

5x07

the difficulty in reading that much into things when the lack of sobriety could be making any & everything an outlier, & can't even really read into "apparently down to take stimulants (beyond caffeine) on a dime" b/c well, so is everyone else, so that this situation can unfold, we knew he had a crush on rian (or i guess we didn't, but this is pretty direct about it), we knew he likes validation, taylor Knows him well enough that it's not just like "oh he's acting weird? well that's winston for you" to them, which we also knew but it's fun to confirm further lol

and now for some more free floating / general concepts

family? i have no idea. feel like he either has no siblings or several but yknow, anything's possible. we know what he's like Now, don't think he got that solid self esteem / self confidence as an emergent quality from [everything that happened to him before 3x03] & don't suppose he has this like, rock solid close warm familial relationship of understanding & unconditional love & support w/whoever he grew up with, parents or siblings or whoever he lived with....like, the relationship/s could be Fine but you know, still not all that close

i don't think he was every completely friendless (or if he was, it didn't last Too long) in terms of like, throughout school maybe he had some pals, no amazing close [fingers crossed Like That] ones where someone had like, grown up as his next door bestie and they did everything together & knew everything about each other, nothing all that close, but he had people to sit with at lunch or what have you, even if at times like, the table nobody else really sits at but the people who don't have anywhere else to sit lmao. maybe some slightly closer friendships here & there, but people often kind of got subsumed into other friend groups that he wasn't otherwise a part of / otherwise just kind of gradually distanced again...but also possible he had perfectly amicable occasions of like, maybe only having a class or two with certain people, not striking up intimate friendships but hitting it off well enough.........like, winston's out here Not having been stomped down into suppressing his personality all the time, he's still fairly earnest & forthcoming & eager to connect, just sort of vaguely going for "he maybe have always had this element of discouragement & disappointment re: socializing / connecting / forming relationships / sometimes just being accepted on a basic level, but he also didn't have his spirit totally extinguished either" although there's also the room for stuff like, yknow, him Holding Out Hope like "well nobody likes me now / i'm unhappy but maybe once i'm in college [gets to college & still isn't having a great time] okay well once i Enter The Workforce" lol. you know

but it's also like, hardly think he's Only Just Now experiencing the [winston: ___ everyone: get his ass] type stuff & pushback & punishment & disdain over not really doing anything but people hate his style & vibe, & feel like there's also still room for like, yep wow got burned sometimes / having had some pretty negative experiences......we do have to end up in this place where, you know, 3x03 happens and he doesn't just go "guess finance isn't for me!" & dust himself off & go get some Guarantees from some tech firms, & instead he's Really Glad [Taylor] Called & hasn't taken some other more desired job between 3x03 & that call & is immediately like "good news: i do hate myself" so like, can't see him having just thrived his way to this point....evidently not all dating relationships have been just epic highs & victories, maybe he has those math meetup pals now & maybe idk there's other people he's in sort of in contact with, maybe people from college / grad school or the like, still not that close, figure he's generally been lonely like, overall, despite regularly enough seeking out / striving for connections

oh yeah speaking of, the idea that he has a cat maybe lol, in part simply for company, a little guy that lives in your house / apartment....but also maybe he doesn't

always just some general notions like, also idk maybe he engages in hobbies, talks to people through that just like with math meetup....talked about the Embroidery idea, got that computers/programming connection, was thinking like, idk fuck it amateur photography, develop your own film, maybe he took a class in college or high school or something, same with like, maybe he plays a musical instrument, said "the cello, why not" about that as an early [shrug] idea lol. he does like space, maybe he does Anything with that....rip to any astronomy clubs In Nyc like, guess you're not seeing shit, but. 4x11 au, after deferring his bonus he goes to some cool cinematographic celestial occasion like taylor & the sea glass fish carousel lmao. taylor catches up & they have their [i'm sure you remember, i was on the phone with you, sweetheart] exchange lol.....except also not, b/c you wouldn't really want to have Parallels with m/any moments ft. wendy & taylor :/

recalled like a particularly casual / throwaway idea about like "lol what if he was somewhat thalassophobic" in part b/c once actor william dropped that lore abt himself in an interview, but. could have somewhat some other phobia/s. or not really any! what a world

maybe sometimes he's out here like, single & ready to Fuck like, focusing on just hooking up w/people sometimes rather than really looking to date at the juncture, although it could both be true like, he'd Like to be dating but also doesn't really currently want to do all the Putting Himself Out There & such of seeking it out / trying to consciously navigate it, but sometimes it's more manageable like, just wanting to have sex. looking out for himself when he can & how he can lol

speaking of, some vague sexy hcs

gets pegged

especial fan of Tongue Against Tongue texture, enjoys some Grounding elements to avoid being overwhelmed / narrow things to the more relevant sensory input at hand, like the weight/pressure of a partner leaning / lying against him / holding him tightly, if he's overwhelmed in a good way / kinda got some sensory overflow in a good way he might cry during sex In A Good Way lol, took some time maybe in his Personal Sexual Experience to figure out some general differences in "what he doesn't like at all" or "what's off the table / too unpleasant for him at some times but Not necessarily at all times & might be completely enjoyable sometimes," like, am i willing to perform oral sex, am i willing & Enthusiastically so, is that way too much actually, it can be all of them at varying times....maybe in more everyday general situations he refrains from stims in front of others unless stressed enough, but while having sex with someone especially if at all nervous it's like, there can be this transition between repressing stims & being more unfiltered / uninhibited where they kind of build up & then come through in kicks only to be reined back in, either like, he simply does go for a more reined in approach the whole time or anyone else is willing to ride this out with him / he kind of has the time & space to figure out more of a flow, in which case he might still stim but you know, not as though people aren't used to stims in this situation, i.e. reacting to stimulation with movement & vocalization is at least expected & it could once again be like "well he's a bit weird with it but hey" lol or you know, not that some partners can't be understanding or have had experience w/similar partners. hardly make or break but this can be a vulnerable interaction here / hard to shake the self consciousness & sense of "i Do have to filter myself and act The Right Way" all at once just b/c you'd want to

hey and let him sing karaoke or something lmao, winston is as Dramatic as he is, he would give a performance. work in a way to let everyone who sings sing around lol, could throw in some Affectations so that it's like yeah winston can sing without having to be like "wow winston, when'd you become a trained broadway performer" lmao. imagine. which reminds me of the time will joked about like, oh yeah winston Gets That A Lot re: people recognizing he looks like the guy in deh, aka will roland....the limitations of "this is set in real nyc" including occasional references to recent / popular shows, fuck it maybe will roland does also exist in the billions universe. well anyways it would be fun. the karaoke anyways, and that he'd give a top tier Performance whether or not people are first and foremost enjoying his technical / artistic skill at the art of singing, it'd at least be personality infused and engaging

taking it way back to the ideas about winston's social misadventures in general, i'm sometimes considering for fics i never end up writing if he might have some like, misgivings / anxieties about like, is this person i Like acting like they maybe Like me back as some kind of elaborate joke, & maybe the caution comes from experience like you know, classic over the line "pranks" like asked out As A Joke, kissed As A Dare that he wasn't aware of, think there could be like, would be Friendship / friendly acquaintanceship experiences in there where such "pranks" / "jokes" / "messing with him" (and not in a good way) could happen, or even just you know, more Spontaneously, don't even know this person & he's treated as a joke for other ppl's entertainment, realizing at the time or retrospectively like oh maybe i was more being bullied then having any positive social interaction / getting to feel at least "included" or what have you, like, the idea of getting to hang out with a group as The Funny Guy, but he's had these experiences getting to hang out with a group & realize it's b/c they thought he was funny / Amusing in a laughing At him, not with him way, which is easy also b/c winston isn't really out here trying to be funny that we've seen lol. only realizing he was still being excluded after some time / distance from the situation, or escalating open hostility / just more blatant meanness / over the line shit from some people, maybe some stuff that just immediately feels shitty but he figured was just like, well idk, maybe that's normal & still friendly, maybe it also felt more outright embarrassing / demeaning at the time but it's like haha yeah you got me :'] at the time just to save any face lol.....possible unexpected / spontaneous amicability in his socializing history, but also shittiness, whether it's coming at him all at once or he's kind of holding out hope like, well, i just keep at it / have a Friendly attitude here and surely i'll make friends b/c if people didn't like me At All why are they talking to me / letting me be here at all.....

always kind of pondering Fashion Variation, we haven't seen it but it could be possible, musing on "what would he think Looks Good On Him / how does he feel capable of like, dressing for romantic success or what have you lol" like, was the vivid 5x06 outfit anything, cue the drawing like, a bralette & short shorts is shaking it up and could be a Felt Cute outfit and could also be comfortable enough....not always That much room in men's(tm) fashion before you start having to be aware of [Gender] and dunno that winston out here has had the inspiration / motivation / opportunity to consider / try out / explore but hey. what are we here for

just remembered that post like "uhh i just saw a guy crying in the library & then his phone alarm went off & he stopped crying, opened his laptop & started typing / it's called time management" lmao like winston's not out here having the Most amazing time, he could have such Time Management experiences of like, letting it out some on purpose but then reining it right back in, and/or just like some spontaneous paroxysms of crying for a minute or two more unexpectedly in a "do you ever [experience a tiny inconvenience] & realize the thread by which you're hanging on is quite thin" way or otherwise, you know, oops experienced this frustration & now i'm crying over it, or idk, just feeling a bit more vulnerable for whatever reason & something has unexpectedly plucked some emotional string attached to another string attached to another & the resonance = i'm crying now ig. he can't be Thriving out here & i don't think he's all about having such a stranglehold on emotions that he's like oh tf i Never cry (aside from having sex, in a good way)

although speaking of like, emotional repression, maybe he's out here just "good at" compartmentalizing some experiences lol in that "well anyways, back to work" way & stuff like, sure he knew he was risking it in 4x11 but it also did not seem to affect his dynamic with mafee at all lmao like wow.....

think that him not really having anything on his work desk is a choice / preference but also am not sure that that really applies to anything else lmao. what if he had a little plant. that'd be funny

oh yeah and the idea that winston might literally have like prophetic dreams & they're just kind of a nuisance to him but sometimes they can be plot devices in fics (that don't exist) about him kissing people

well i'm just calling it a night there lol but like, it always feels Lacking writing out hc's like, plenty of ideas but also hardly any, and yet the fact that other individual ideas are so Vague / casual that it wouldn't be like "oh i gotta share this via post or manifesting it some other way" so then it feels like, oh no, if i don't list absolutely Everything on something that's specifically a list of hc's, i can never talk about whatever gets left out......and just that like, i ought to have a bunch of really specific, concrete, unique Factoids about winston here to be of any interest but hey lmao. that hypothetical set of concepts is never gonna happen, & the Ultimate Comprehensive List Of Everything I've Ever Pondered Re: Winston is also going to be difficult lmfao (not as though that's what you've asked in the first place) but you know, we took a swing at things here & covered some ground & the thinking about & talking about winston never ends, & this isn't really a post meant to have broad appeal / if you're not already having fun reading vague musings about the quant then i'm sorry you're reading this after having read all that and gone "wow, i'm disappointed" lmao but hey, weird choices made to bring you to this point......also god knows plenty of hcs are more filed away under specific like [Tayston], [Benston], [Riawin] sort of things (lol, [Mafon]) b/c on the one hand, i find it easier to kind of think in Scenarios and the details particular to the "scenes" therein, but i am also not good at thinking of those scenarios! out here operating on vibes, he's autistic and wants to kiss taylor (also now rian but that's kinda right in canon, not just my head) and that's really the crucial info here

#winston billions #nothingunrealistic #posting these things at 7am lol just had to give this a shot all at once really #there was never going to be a concise & comprehensive post here so just gotta go for it #certainly vs trying to think up that beautiful engaging collection of concrete hc's & thus never writing Anything lol #and anyways it's also like; this is a niche post for an even nicher audience so #quantnoisseur is about having fun and being yourself. for me #thanks again for returning the favor!! do love the opportunity here #again hope i don't like recall three dozen obvious things i should've included once i post this but

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makeste · 3 years

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hello! I’ve seen some debate as to whether the 2nd meant allies in general would bolster izuku and although I do think that’s true (ofc any sort of support system that he lets himself rely on would bolster him) I feel like if that was what was meant it would’ve been made clearer? maybe instead of just katsuki showing up, the final panel would’ve had several students burst onto the scene. what are your thoughts?

agreed. and incidentally this is another big reason why it's not Toga. if it was her then Horikoshi wouldn't have devoted any time to OFA II's little hype speech. it just makes it kind of pointless, unless this whole time we've been sleeping on Toga's hidden ability to bolster Deku lmao.

but anyways, yeah. and I mean, Two's commentary here is really just acknowledgement of something we've long since known already. Kacchan is the one who will ultimately be able to reach Deku. we don't actually need a piece of dialogue to tell us this, because the manga has been showing it to us since day one. his resume is fucking stacked. I mean, let's go through it.

he is mean.

I love this you guys. I honest to god love it. because the thing is, if you ask anyone what Kacchan's absolute worst quality is, this would be the obvious answer, right? "he's an asshole" lmao.

but that's exactly what we need right now!! someone who's not afraid to tell it like it is, and won't try to sugarcoat things. someone who's not afraid to argue back and risk hurting someone's feelings. because right now Deku is walking all over anyone who can't do that. All Might tries to feed him lunch and he's like "nah I'm good, anyways bye." Endeavor tries to tell him to rest and he's all "I'm fine" and fucking hangs up the phone. nuh uh. enough of that. what we need is someone who will call him out on his shit. "hah!? don't tell me you're fine when it's obvious to anyone you can barely stand on your own two feet, dumbass."

he is stubborn.

kind of ties into the other thing, but yeah. right now we need a bullheaded asshole who won't take no for an answer if he thinks he's right. good luck trying to sweet talk your way out of this one, Deku.

he understands the situation.

this one is important, because in fairness, simply standing in front of Deku and saying "you shall not pass" isn't gonna be enough to actually accomplish anything here. ultimately he's going to have to be able to reason with Deku too. and so in that respect, it certainly doesn't hurt that Kacchan is someone who understands the OFA situation as well as anyone, and has always had clear judgment about it. he understands the threat of AFO ("they all died young"), and he understands the burden of All Might's legacy. he knows what Deku is dealing with, and that's going to give him an edge when it comes to finding that elusive-yet-critical talk no jutsu knockout blow.

he's been where Deku is now.

Kacchan knows a thing or two about burdens. granted, they've more often than not been ones that he's put on himself, but that didn't make them any less heavy. Deku right now is struggling not just with his feelings of responsibility, but also with all of the misplaced guilt that's feeding into it. AFO is targeting him. if innocent people get caught in the crossfire then that's on him. every minute that AFO stays out there getting stronger and causing more chaos is all on him, because he hasn't defeated him yet. and so on and so forth.

and Katsuki knows what that's like. because he blamed himself for what happened to All Might. that feeling of "if I'd only been stronger" is one that he's intimately acquainted with. that feeling of blaming yourself, of not being able to look someone you care about in the eye because you think it's your fault they got hurt. this is something he knows. this is a road he's already been down. and so if Deku tries to pull any "you don't understand" nonsense, Kacchan is uniquely situated to immediately shoot that shit right down.

he's immune to low blows.

lol I keep thinking of all the different counterarguments that Deku could make, and all the different ways in which Kacchan is perfectly equipped to handle them. anyway, so this particular thing is a very recent development, but very fortunately timed. so as we all know, Kacchan was a first class dick to Deku during their childhood. something which Deku, with his abnormally kind and forgiving nature, has never once confronted Kacchan about, even though he would have absolutely had the right. but anyway, so here's the thing though -- right now I fully believe that Deku can and will do or say just about anything in order to get Kacchan and the others to leave. and that includes hurting them in order to save them. so it would not surprise me at all if Deku goes as far as to throw Katsuki's old, cruel, selfish behavior back in his face as part of a last-ditch effort to get him to back down. desperate times and all that.

and maybe there was a time when that actually would have worked. but here's the other thing -- we know something Deku doesn't. namely, that Kacchan has recently leveled up emotionally and has finally unlocked his atonement quest. he finally understands that it's not all about him. which means that it doesn't matter even if Deku pulls out the big guns. he may hurt his feelings, but he's not going to scare him off, because Kacchan's focus right now is on atonement, not forgiveness. he's not doing this for a pat on the head. he's doing it because it's the right thing to do. and no amount of insults will be able to sway him from that.

he learned from the best.

I said this in another post a couple of weeks back, but yeah. Angsty Nomad Deku has nothing on early Kacchan in terms of pushing people away. early Kacchan was the motherfucking king of pushing peeps away. if you so much as LOOKED at this kid in such a way that SUGGESTED you might even be THINKING about possibly trying to save him, he would straight up throw a ten-year hissy fit lmao. Deku's "All Might, you don't have to tag along anymore"s ain't got SHIT on all of Kacchan's "STAY BACK DEKU"s and "I'D RATHER LOSE!!!"s and "OMFG HOW DARE YOU BE THE ONLY PERSON TO TRY TO SAVE ME FROM THIS RAMPAGING SLUDGE MAN WHO'S ABOUT TO SUFFOCATE ME TO DEATH"s. Kacchan is the undisputed goat here lol.

but anyway, so what this means is that he has accumulated a whole HOST of iconic lines and fateful parallels which he can throw back in Deku's face at a moment's notice. and the best part is that he learned it all from THIS EXACT MOTHERFUCKER, RIGHT HERE. what is Deku even gonna do!! argue against his own past actions?? "well, uh, I guess now that you mention it I should have just sat back and watched you die all those times" OH REALLY?? YOU DON'T SAY. THAT SOUNDS SO CONVINCING.

and so guess what, Deku -- if Kacchan was worth saving, then you're worth saving too. it's an ironclad argument. congratulations son you played yourself.

he always wins.

okay so real talk, we all know that what's really driving Deku right now is his fear of losing people. he's helpless against that. he saw Kacchan get stabbed right before his eyes and it fucked him up. he saw all these other people getting hurt and killed because he couldn't save them, and he straight up could not deal with those emotions at all. he's scared. he's more afraid of that happening again than of anything else. and AFO knows that, and that's why he's resorted to his current tactics, which have isolated Deku even further and caused him to push even All Might away.

what Deku is missing right now, and what he needs to have restored, is trust. trust is the antidote to fear. and when you're as scared as Deku is, it takes an extraordinary amount of assurance in order to ease those fears. basically you don't want to place your faith in anything less than an absolutely sure thing.

but Kacchan is exactly that. this is the exact type of situation that Kacchan's "aiming for the top" overkill confidence was made for. he's the one who never loses!! the hero who's going to surpass all other heroes!! Deku inherited All Might's compassion, but Kacchan inherited his determination. Kacchan is someone who brings reassurance. his confidence is unwavering. and in the end, I think it will be strong enough to pull even Deku back out from the darkness.

he is strong.

Kacchan is Deku's rival in every sense of the word, and I fully believe he's capable of matching him step for step even now. and so Deku can try to push him away, but Kacchan is capable of withstanding that force and staying his ground. Deku can try to run, but Kacchan still has him matched for speed. and as a last resort, Deku can even try to defeat him -- but Kacchan won't ever concede to defeat.

and all of this ties back into what I was saying about trust. because Kacchan is strong. strong enough not to die. strong enough to live. strong enough to not make others worry about him. and that's what Deku so desperately needs right now in order to finally let go of his fears. Deku needs someone who can get him to trust in others again, and to do that, he has to be able to trust in their strength.

and last but not least...

he has a secret weapon up his sleeve.

several, as a matter of fact. his hero name reveal. his apology, if he chooses to give it now (though I could see him waiting for a more sincere moment, rather than whipping it out now when it could be misconstrued as a manipulation tactic). but perhaps most importantly...

never underestimate the power of an iconic role reversal. because that's what I'm getting at here, if it wasn't clear lol. this probably would have worked better if I had a picture of him actually reaching out to Deku. but I mean, that's kind of the point lol. I don't have one because he hasn't done it yet. BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE. good luck withstanding that, Deku.

so yeah. look at all that. he really is a one-man Deku-saving army. which is not to say that the other kids won't have a part to play as well, or that it's not important for them to be there, because it is. but as far as the lead role goes, it's Kacchan. like that astronaut meme guy says. always has been.

oh and as a bonus he was smart enough to finally leave the mask at home today lol. LET DEKU SEE THE SINCERITY IN YOUR EYES. YESSSSSSS.

#bnha 318 #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bakudeku #bnha meta #bakugou meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks

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woulddieforperrytheplatypus · 4 years

Note

It's the Perry-is-a-robot idea anon again! That idea was just a spur of the moment thing and I knew that whatever you came up with would be way better than what I would've come to mind. The implication that the boys gave Perry his human-like AI never even crossed my mind but I absolutely love it, so please, anyone go full ham on this AU!

Wait really oh my god then do I have some Ideas™ for this

First of all I want to preface this by saying that I will literally never have enough time to write all these aus so if you (or anyone else) wants to take that idea (or any of these ideas tbh) and run with it I would so read it and be eternally in your debt

Okay so OWCA has all these animal-looking robots, and they’re basically built to fight and kill and feel no emotions and all that. And idk why but I feel like Perry should still be an exceptionally good agent despite in theory being programmed the same way, so he still gets the hard cases in addition to taking on Heinz as a nemesis (which, for the record, Heinz does not enjoy; Perry the Platypus just stares at him while he’s monologuing and he’s not even sure the guy’s listening and he doesn’t ever feel any remorse when he breaks down all Heinz’s doors and walls and destroys his inators and ugh why is this platypus so cold and unfeeling).

And then like the og post’s “read more” tab says, Perry is coming home from a case (but probably not with Heinz; it’s probably with someone far more dangerous) and he’s pretty badly injured. Fortunately, being a platypus, he doesn’t really feel it; he just knows it’s there and he should do something about it. He’s passing by the Flynn-Fletcher house, Phineas and Ferb notice he’s a robot and he’s hurt, yada yada yada, y’all probably already saw this bc it’s in the og post.

While they’re fixing him up, Perry is just lying there because what does he do, right? At least they seem to know what they’re doing, because he can feel a few select functions that had shut down start up again. But they don’t really process that he’s a conscious platyperson, so they don’t think too much about it when they’re messing around a little and rewiring a few things. Perry has absolutely no idea that they’re doing that until they rewire just the wrong (right?) thing, and Perry’s hit with a huge wave of almost human emotion, and it scares him. He’s never felt emotion before, and to be hit with it all at once is disconcerting, to say the least.

And, as a platypus with nearly-human emotion, he experiences the very real reaction of “fight or flight.” He doesn’t even realize until he’s on the other side of the room that he’s a literal secret agent killer robot, and when he panicked -- which is not something a secret agent killer robot should do, by the way -- he chose to run instead of fight.

And Phineas is immediately freaking out because this platypus did not seem this human a few seconds ago and he would never have played around with his wiring if he knew. But he doesn’t want to spook the little guy any more than he already has, so he kneels down on the ground (and then learns that when he’s kneeling, he’s shorter than a platypus that stands on his hind legs. who would’ve guessed?) and holds out a hand almost like he’s coaxing a cat. And he’s not quite sure how humanlike this bipedal platypus robot is, so he tries talking to him, with something like, “Hey, buddy, are you okay? I didn’t mean to hurt you,” but in that voice you only use with cats you find on the street or little kids that are on the verge of a mental breakdown because they miss their mommy.

And Perry’s still a little wary because he doesn’t know what’s going on with himself, but he has to admit, this kid seems nice? He doesn’t feel safe, but he doesn’t feel like he’s in danger, either. There’s not a malicious bone in either of these kids’ bodies, and he knows that.

So maybe Perry drops down on all fours to prove that he’s not a threat, too, because that’s a piece of OWCA programming that hasn’t been messed with. It’s all part of the undercover thing that’s supposed to keep attention off him, not that it worked today.

And Phineas takes it as a good sign so he’s like, “Hey, little guy. Can you understand what I’m saying?”

And because it’s my self indulgent ask response, Perry nods. They already know he’s a robot, so this can’t be any more against protocol than this entire experience was.

And maybe Phineas asks if he can talk, and Perry shakes his head because OWCA didn’t give their agents that much freedom. They would never willingly let their agents talk back.

And Phineas makes some remark about how he’ll get along really well with Ferb then (and then Ferb waves because wholesome babie) and Perry finds himself kinda smiling which is really weird because he never smiles unless he’s about to kick someone’s ass and they don’t know it yet, but he’s decently sure that’s not what’s happening here?

And they just start talking and Phineas asks a bunch of yes-or-no questions and Perry finds himself answering as many as he can without, you know, incurring the death penalty if OWCA finds out or whatever, and he’s pretty sure he shouldn’t be answering these questions but he can’t help it? And then kinda like these posts (tw for abuse, esp with the first one) said, this is his first experience with compassion, but instead of it being his first time receiving compassion, it’s his first time feeling compassion for someone else (and also his first time receiving it so it’s a whole lot of firsts in this area I guess lol). And he’s still not entirely sure what’s going on with him, but he likes these kids regardless.

And then it starts getting late and Candace pops in and freaks out because ooh you have a platypus in your room you are so busted! and Perry takes that a little too harshly because he hops up on his hind legs and pulls out a knife or whatever because his automatic response when he doesn’t like where a situation is heading is to kill whatever’s making him uncomfortable. Candace, who definitely thought he was just an ordinary platypus -- they don’t do much, you know -- freaks out and runs downstairs to tell her mom, and Phineas has to give Perry a stern-but-not-unkind talking to about threatening his sister with a knife. But it is getting late, and does he have somewhere to be? (nod) And he should probably get going but maybe he can come back tomorrow? (shrug) And if not, hopefully they’ll see each other soon, and that he’s welcome back any time. So he heads out just before Candace drags Linda to the boys’ room, only to find a mysterious lack of anthropomorphic platypuses.

I haven’t thought much beyond their first meeting yet and tbh as I was writing this I realized it would probably be quicker and more efficient to write it out as a real fanfic anyway, but basically I guess the general idea once this is done is that Perry has to figure out how to hide the fact that he has feelings from his superiors? And sure, maybe OWCA is a little too busy to pick up on it right away, but Heinz is the loneliest son of a bitch on the planet so he realizes something is off with his nemesis immediately. And now Perry’s trying to juggle his more emotional nemesisship with Heinz, his newfound friendship with the kids, and his increasingly difficult secret to keep from his bosses? Idk what the climax of the story would be tho so I’m gonna have to think a little more on that but the beginning would probably be mostly just Perry making friends and learning social norms and bein cute and all that :,)

#man I felt like i had a much better grasp on this going into it than i really did lmao #and tbh do i even need to comment on the fact that i'm adding a read more at this point bc it's kinda a given that things are gonna be long #maybe i shouldn't left this for tomorrow so i could think about it overnight #but i also have three classes including an exam that i'm woefully unprepared for tomorrow #and another exam on tuesday that I'm even more unprepared for #soooo who knows when i would have gotten around to it #(i say as if i don't answer asks when I should be working all the damn time lmao)#look i have an ask #if i get another ask or two about this i'm totally gonna start another tag for it like i do with all these recurring fic ideas #because I'm still living for this concept even if i couldn't do it justice #robot perry

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thewritingstar · 4 years

Text

Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince (Chapter 1)

Pairing: Blossutch (Blossom x Butch)

Fandom: Powerpuff Girls

Rating: M (drug use, mature themes, it’s butch do I even need to explain??)

Summary: An Ivy League school and a plan in place, Blossom has everything in order. But when a person from her past suddenly shows up, she wonders if her plans could be slightly rearranged.

I hope you all enjoy this new Wip that I am determined to finish!!! Enjoy!!! Also I’m on mobile so I’ll put the keep reading thing once I get on a computer sorry for the long post lol

———

“Bubbles, please stop crying.” Blossom patted her sobbing sisters back. She let out a laugh as Bubbles finally pulled away and squished her cheeks.

“But I'm going to miss you!” The tears were coming again and Blossom pulled her into one last hug.

Buttercup only huffed as she placed the last box on the ground. “Bubbles she is going to a college only three hours away from ours. We can fly in less than twenty minutes to see her.”

It was true. Blossom had gotten into every single college she applied to, no surprise there and only the ivy league schools would be suffice for her. On the other hand Bubbles and Buttercup were attending the same college on the opposite side of the city, Buttercup on a full ride for sports and Bubbles in one of the top art and fashion programs around. Their sister almost went to that school but after a smack to the face and yelling about going to the best school, Buttercup made sure her sister only got the best, afterall who was going to brag at Thanksgiving dinner?

“I know. I know but it just feels weird.” She shrugged before opening up a compact mirror and fixing her makeup. it closed with a pop. “I mean we all haven’t really been apart like ever.”

The thought did startle Blossom but that’s degree plaster on her wall protected by glass was the goal and if she had to be away from her sisters for a little bit, then so be it.

“She’s going to be fine Bubs.” And after a few more minutes of a goodbyes, Blossom was left alone in her apartment.

Her sisters got roomed together but Blossom knew she was a fragile person to live with. It was better to live by herself than try and work out a routine with a random stranger, plus the dorms were right next to all the frat houses and Blossom cringed every time she went near them.

How could such a presteigne school allow such juvenile behavior? She would never know.

It only took an hour for everything to be in place thanks to her super speed and pre-planning of the layout. It was a simple apartment. One bedroom with a small kitchenette and a living room, nothing fancy but had a few places to study and get work done, perfect.

Not to mention her bulletin board that already had her schedule up with prime study times and library hours, this was gonna be fun.

By the time she was done and took a shower, her stomach grumbled and she knew she should eat. It was no secret that Blossom wasn’t the best in the kitchn. Okay it was known that she was the worst but she knew how to boil water and use the microwave, but eating at all the small local cafes seemed much more appealing.

With her purse in hand she made her way out.

“Um excuse me?” A voice came just as she was locking her door. “You must be Blossom”

Blossom wanted to turn back around and go into her room. Yes she might have been one of the most famous people on the face of the earth but the girl was one for her alone time. She put on a smile and was ready to meet the fan, she loved meeting fans she was just hungry.

She looked up at the girl with bright blue eyes and long brown hair. A gasp leaving her lips and she squealed. “Robin!”

Her childhood friend who sadly moved a city over during middle school was now staring back at her. “Hey Blossy.” She giggled as she was pulled into a hug. “I would say I am surprised to see you but I’m not.”

Blossom could hardly contain her excitement as Robin wrapped an arm around her own, a little trait that she did with everyone, and they walked down the hall. “Dinner time?”

“Absolutely, we have so much to catch up on.” Blossom smiled back.

“I can’t believe you actually had to fight a monster on prom.” Robin laughed as she bit into her sandwich and Blossom rolled her eyes playfully.

“Really? I'm not.”

In that moment Blossom was thankful that Robin was there. Out of all their friends in school, she had always been the most genuine. Never once did the girls status affect their relationship and she never worried about any information about them getting leaked, unlike some of their classmates.

To be honest she was afraid to be on her own. Her sisters were still together and she had no one. She was a peoples person but not in the way Bubbles was. It was hard for her to deeply connect to people unless it was intellguiet.

“Soooo.” Robin started. “Did the boys go to high school with you?” She asked eagerly.

It took a moment for Blossom to process it. The boys? And then it hit her. Robin had been a fangirl, like most, when the boys had joined the school system at the age of 16. Of course she was gone before that had happened and only knew them as the counterparts who tried to kill the girls every once in a while but it didn’t stop her from eyeing them.

“They went to the rival high school.” Blossom said unenthusiastically as she patted her mouth with a napkin. “We all got along fine, just slight teasing.”

“Did you date any of them? I always thought you and the red one, Brick was it? Would end up a thing.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Bubbles and Boomer did. I followed her on social media and saw all the cute couple posts about them but someone.” She looked at Blossom. “Didn’t have social media.”

Blossom could see how everyone thought Brick and her would end up together. But to everyone dismay, they were only friends, maybe. And well, he was more occupied in the boy population than the girls. Of course she was one of the few to know that and they spent just as much time arguing about Shakespeare as they did bonding over the hottest member of boy bands.

“I have a private instagram that you can have. Brick and I are just friends, well he’s more like my best friend”

“That's too bad, I always thought you would end up with a ruff.” Robin laughed as she took Blossom's phone and plugged in her new number and every single social media she could find.

She got her phone back after a minute and dropped some bills on the table. “Sorry to disappoint but he doesn’t swing that way.”

“Oh really?” This surprised Robin.

She laughed a little. “Actually we tried to date.” Robin almost spit out her drink. “He took me on a date and when he kissed me it felt wrong, no spark, nothing. It was werid since we are counterparts but afterwards he told me that he was gay and was just making sure.”

“That's sweet.”

“So now we just braid each other's hair and judge people while complaining that we are single.”

“What about the green one?” Robin eyed her. “I don’t think Buttercup was into him right? But you could be. Imagine it, the bad boy and the good girl.” Robin was practically blushing.

“Absolutely not.” Blossom almost laughed. “I don’t even think he would go to college and plus, we don’t have anything in common.”

The brunette shrugged and picked up her jacket. “Don’t worry Bloss, this is college. We will find you a hot piece of ass to match with your fine ass.”

A loud laugh left her lips. “Thank you Robin. Now I heard there is a bakery near here that is to die for.”

“Oh you and your sweets.”

----

By the time her alarm went off, Blossom had already been on a morning run, ornginzed her books and ate at the small bakery that had the most amazing danishes. Unlike most people, she lived on the thrill of first days of school.

She made sure to double lock her door as she strutted out of her appartment and took in the fresh autum air. There was still about an hour before class but so she could walk as slow as she wanted.

The leaves where starting to tint to a rustic brown and crumble underneath her pumps, she was always a show fantaic and adored walking in heels even though she was already 5′6. There was something about being taller than most of the girls around her that provided a staggering connfiedcen in her, plus it made her more intrmidating against villains. Sometimes she wore 5 inch heels just to be 6 ft tall for the hell of it.

The walk to the main campus buildings took her past the majority of the socail houses. She eyed one of the frat houses that she wouldn’t bother knowing its name and a glare and bad taste formed in her mouth. She wondered why people even bothered going to college if they were just going to mess around and not do their work.

She huffed. She didn’t have time for those silly parties and games, she worked to damn hard to be the top of her class and she was determine to conquer this school too. And the school for her masters and eventally doctoral. She was going to be a leading chemist after all and follow in her fathers foot steps. He nearly cried when she said she wanted to work in his lab one day.

By the time she got to class, and stopped for a tall iced coffee, extra vanilla for her sweet tooth, class would begin in just ten mintues.

She was thrilled for her class. Professor Keene was amoung one of the smartest and well known chemists in the contry and when Blossom found out she was going to be learning from her, she almost blew up the house from exictemnt.

She took a seat in the middle row of the lecture hall and was happy that she wasn’t the only student in there. The class began to fill in but she was engaged in her book so she didn’t notcie anyone who was shuffling in the seat behind or around her. She thought about turning around and intrducing herself to other students. She felt a little bad about how stand offish she could be but she was a famous superhero so not wanting to be the center of attention was something she strived for. Unless it was for grades, then she would gladly take her crown.

Her phone buzzed quietly in the pocket of her skirt. A small smile came to her lips as she read the text from her sister group chat.

Bubbles: Hope you have a good day at school sis!

Buttercup: i hate this already

Blossom: Miss you!

She placed the device away as her closed her book and took out her text book.

“Hey can I borrow a pencil?” A voice came from her right and she reached into her bag and grabbed one without hesitation.

“Here you go.” She smiled brightly and as soon as her eyes locked onto his, she let out a gasp and nearly choked on air.

A smirk appeared on his face as took the pencil from her hand, their fingers touched and she felt a jolt of electriy run through her body. Those dark green eyes that she knew all too well pierced through her soul as she gaped at him.

“Butch?”

“The one and only.” he winked and she only narrowed her eyes at him. His being in his prescne had set a shiver down her spine and she thought she wouldn’t see him again, espcecially not at a place like this.

“How the fuck did you get into college.” She blurted out. She never meant to be rude but could you blame her?

The smirk fell instantyl as he raised a brow. “That wasn’t very nice.” His smirk reteruned quickly. “When the fuck do you cuss Pink?” He disregearded the isnult and instead leaned closer towards her. “Its pretty hot babe.”

Ugh those winks made her mad. Remindered her too much of there teenage years.

She wanted to yell at him for the use of the pet name but soon the professor walked in and Blossom almost forgot that she was in class. She shot him a glare and he only laughed as roll was being called. She could feel his eyes on her occsianlly and wanted nothing more than to freeze his hand and punch him in the stomach.

Her eyes stayed glue to the board and her ears listened delicatly to the lecture. she ignored every time he poked her with a pencil or said something that only super hearing could pick up.

“I could squash him like a bug.” She mumbled under her breath and she knew he heard, and was proabbly smiling and thinking dirty thoughts. Ugh.

“Alright that wraps up day one. I am cutting class shorter so that you all have time to get settle and situated.” And with that she packed up her breifcase and made her way out. Blossom admired how she held herself so well, all she saw was a image of what she wanted to be. A respectable woman of science.

Blossom looked down at her notes and smiled proudly at how neat they were. she had spent all of high school learning differnt technquies for optimal note taking and she had mastered it like a sience.

“So Pink.” Butch intterupted her thoughts and she turned to look at him, she almost forgot he was there...almost.

“What?”

“Wanna hang out?” He asked innocently. He even batted his eyelashes for an effect and Blossom fianlly finished packing up. The room around them had cleared out so they were the last two in the room.

“No not really.”

He scoffed at her and dramatically leaned in his seat. “Come on babe.”

“Don’t call me babe.”

“You never yelled at Brick for saying it.”

She turned and rolled her eyes. “First of all Brick is my best friend, secondly, he calls me Toots.”

“So that's why I’m claiming Babe.”

“No!”

“Don’t tell me Boomer has that one? Because thats not fair, hes got Pigtails already, you should learn to share.” He was acting like a child.

“Ew no Boomer calls me nothing and neither will you.” She got up from her seat and left class, of course he was hot on her heels.

She didn’t bother walking fast as he would just catch her anyways and she had a feeling he wasn’t leaving her side any time soon, great.

“I like those shoes Pink.” He whistled.

“Stop staring at my legs.” She knew she should have worn black leggings instead of nude, fuck, it didn’t even matter, boys would find a way to make an outfit sexualized anyways.

He fake scoffed, he does that alot she noticed. “I would never look at your long goddess like legs and wonder what they would feel like wrapped around my waist as I-”

She hit him on the side of the head as he opened the door to exit the building. “In your dreams perv.”

“You better beileve in my dreams.” She ignored him and it was well past noon, she should get food.

“Wanna grab lunch?” He asked as if he read her mind. She probably should say no but she was too hungry to even care.

“Fine.” She’ll be “everything nice” for now.

Everything nice her ass. Sure she was a sweet girl but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t put her foot down on bad behvior. Actually yes she would, she was Blossom after all. Bossy Blossy is what Buttercup always said. But scolding Butch, who is 19 mind you, for chewing with his mouth open was not being bossy, just a decdent human being.

“So high school? Did you graduate?” She asked him with a teasing tone.

During their high school years, the boys went to one on the oppsite side of town, probably for the fact that middle school was spent trying not to kill each other. I mean when you are born to kill someone, takes a while to get over it.

As the crime rate for the RowdyRuffs died down, and ya know the whole Boomer and Bubbles hooking up thing, they all decided to be civil with each other. Butch had taken up the sport of ‘flirithng with every girl he sees and pissing of BC because he felt like it. And Brick just wanted to beat Blossom in all things academic, they always tied.

Butch shurgged. “Nothing to tell, got to graduate, almost failed doing so too but I had my share of fun.”

Blossom took a sip of her lemonade. “How did you get here then?”

“Oh that. Yes how did I, Butch Jojo end up at this ivy league school? Well babe-”

“No”

“Yes. I am what you called, athetically inclined. Buttercup got a full ride on that basketball scholarship and I got the same, kinda of a greens thing.” He winked and she thought it over. It made sense that he would get a sports schaolrship but why here.

“Aren’t there other schools with better sport programs?”

“Sounds like you don’t want me here.” He gave her a pout.

“Not thats not it-”

“Relax babe, im teasing.” He stole one of her fries. Bitch. “I got them from all over but I didn’t want to go where Buttercup and the lovesick puppies were, I’m never living with Boomer again, superhearing is a curse when Bubbles is over.” He made a face and Blossom nodded as she emeber that one time she caught them-ew nevermind.

“So not there, what about Bricks school.”

“And have him up my ass constantly, no thanks. I needed to breath fresh air, plus the frat that I joined is top notch.”

She almost gaged. “Frat?” Why was she surpised?

He notced the hint of disapointment but brushed it off. “Yep. Apprently four other guys got the schalrship from that fraternity alone. If you get it and accept, you have to be there for at least two years, which means party, booze and babes.” He winked and it was her turn to scoff.

She stabbed a piece of lettuce from her salad. “Well you must be enjoying yourself then.” She had lost her appetite suddenly.

“Aww you’re the only girl I have eyes for doll.” That didn’t make her feel better and it shouldn’t have anyways.

“I would say don’t do anything stupid while you’re there but we both know thats not possible.”

“You flatter me Pink, thinking im the dumb one when blueberry boy is the offical Dumbest of the Dumb.”

“I’d be careful Butch, he passed high school with good grades.”

“And yet im at an ivy league school and hes not.”

“Touche”

“So which frat did you get into?” She asked out of politeness but that smirk that showed his slightly sharper than normal teeth already had her regretting it.

---

She shouldn’t have been shocked. No really. The fact that she was staring at the notorious frat house wasn’t even the worse part, it was how she didn’t connect the dots sooner. Of course he was in the highest ranked frat, Alpha Alp.

“Welcome home babe.” He winked and her eyes widened before offering her most polite smile, ya know the ones reserved for the press.

He hung an arm around her shoulder and lead her up the path way to the front door. Her eyes turned to the lawn, which was scattered with beer cans, cigarette buds and oh my, is that underwear? Why is she not surpised.

The house itself looked like it had alot of money invested in it and the boys who lived here were all proabbly from rich familes where daddy was sending them for a bussiness degree and to fuck around. She hated it.

Frats to her were the lowest point of college. Everyone here didn’t even work to get in, well not everyone, and they just got to party and spend money. The amount of horror stories that came from this house alone made her shutter.

There were handprints made of paint lining the wooden deck, presumabley of all the past members and a dark green print with ‘Butch’ sctarched in looked to be apart of the newest batch. She found it oddly charming in some sort of sick twisted way.

He opened the door with a loud slam and she knew that if he was back home, Brick would have yelled at him for being obnoxious and brash. She couldn’t blame him.

“Hey boys.” He yelled at the five guys surrouding the tv with more booze on the table. It was only a little bit past noon.

“Sup Butch. Ooo got a new toy and its only the first day!” One of them cheered and Blossom instantly scoffed and glared at him.

Butch sensed the disconfort immediately. “Actually boys.” He sneered with a smile. “This lovely lady is just an old friend who is smarter than all of you dimwits combined.” Blossom was now being pulled towards the right side of the house and up a flight of stairs.

That was a smart move Blossom thought. He knew better than to piss of a red. Sure the greens were the toughest and the blues could cry and throw the worst tantrums but the reds, making them mad was a death wish that only few had endorsed and would like to keep it that way.

They passed some more of his frat brothers, each giving them a wolf whistle, wink or a high five and each one made Blossom shiver. Before more things could be said Butch had closed the door of his room, ignoring all the hooping and hollering.

He let out a sigh and turned to Blossom who was sporting a frown.

“Sorry about that Bloss” He smiled lightly and she only shrugged.

“I didn’t expect anything less.” She replied as she turned to absorb the atmosphere

It was a simple room. Two beds, she assumed there was a roommate, dark oak furniture and a suitcase thrown on the ground. Clearly he hadn’t finished moving in. However when she turned to his desk there had been a sign of clear drug use.

“Did you snort cocaine before class?” She asked.

“Would you believe me if i said it was a pixie stick?”

“No.”

“Okay then.” He shrugged and plopped onto the bed. “So Pink, whatcha you wanna do?” He wiggled his eyebrows and she glared.

—

He had won this round of Go Fish. Of course she had already beat him five times but he said she couldn’t leave until he had a taste of victory or a taste of her lips, she chose the first one obviously.

“In ya face Pinky.” He flicked her bow and she rolled her eyes. He liked the bow. Even though it seemed childish to wear it, it screamed power and authority. Ever since he was a kid, he waited until he saw that flash of velvet red before starting a duel between the groups.

“One against five isn’t very good odds.”

“Maybe not but it just shows that I don’t give up. Now how about some poker, we can make it strip poker if ya like.” Again with the winks.

She shook her head. “The day I play strip poker is the day hell freezes over.” She looked out the window and saw the golden sky. “I should probably go, it’s getting late.”

It just registered that she had been here since noon and now it was almost 5 pm. How?

He frown and she thought he looked cute. No. He looked fine, not cute. Not cute.

She stood and slipped back on her shoes. Her eyes now level with his. She didn’t realize how tall he was compared to her. Sure she was only 5’8 in these shoes but she wasn’t used to someone being taller than her, specially since all the other Puffs and Ruffs fell below her.

He finished shoving the cards in his nightstand which probably had a stash of weed, cigarettes and snacks that again, probably laced with weed. He was lucky that the chemical x in his body reversed any damage those caused or else she would have scolded him more than usual.

“Well we can get dinner, there’s this really good place that has the best pizza.”

She thought about it and almost agreed. “Well pizza sounds good but I promised Robin that we would have sushi and movie night.”

“Can I-“

“Sorry Butch, it’s ladies night.” She shrugged and finally managed to get out the door before his puppy eyes showed up.

She ignored all the stares and teasing that the other frat house mates made as she walked out the door. The green ruff was right behind her and even though she couldn’t see him, she had a feeling that dark glare was being pointed in their direction.

“You don’t need to walk me home, im a big girl.”

“I know I just felt like it.” He clicked his tongue. “Ya know babe.” She shoved him. “This is the longest time we’ve ever hung out, jusy the two of us.”

“What are you implying?” Her voice was cold.

“Nothing doll. Just, it’s nice.” He fell silent after that and took in the fresh air.

The walk to her apartment wasn’t that far but when she arrived at the steps, she was a little sad.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Butch, do your homework.” She slightly scolded.

He leaned against the handrail. “Are you gonna punish me if I do bad?” That smirk again, ugh.

A dangerous thought got into her head as she leaned closer to him, their noses barely touching and she could see his eyes slightly widen and pink dust his cheeks.

“Maybe.” And as soon as he blinked, she was already walking up the stairs to her apartment.

His eyes blew wider than before as he realized just how close she was and that damn smirk. A smile grew on his face as he pushed off the rails and headed back to his own place.

“Game on Blossy.” He whispered to himself.

—

Robin was finishing the last of her food when Blossom told her about today.

“It’s not a big deal but we’ve never really hung out before.” Why did she feel weird.

“Is he hot?”

“Robin”

“Hey I haven’t seen him since middle school and if he was a hottie back then, imagine him now.”

Blossom didn’t want to admit that Butch was hot, but he was. Slightly tanned skin with dark raven hair and of course he was ripped and tone. She saw the way his arm flexed every time he grabbed a new card and yeah maybe he was attractive, so what?

“He’s fine.” Liar. “You would probably kill over if you saw him so it’s best to keep your distance.”

A laugh bubbled out of Robin and Blossom finished her own food.

“But it’s nice to have him around, much different from Boomer or Brick. Carefree and fun, dare I say.”

Robin nodded and the girls fell back into a comfortable silence as the movie played.

“Would you date him?” She asked out of no where. “I’d bet he date you.”

“He would date anything that moves.”

“Anwser the question Bloss.” Robin was now playing with fire. Blossoms love life had never been a top priority and now with the added stress of college, it may never be.

She thought about it and shook her head. “No.”

Robin only shrugged and became engrossed with the film again. Blossom sat there wondering why she didn’t believe herself when she said no.

She pushed those feelings aside and watched the screen as the man brought the woman into a passionate kiss with a beautiful sunset behind them. Deep down she wanted that to be her.

————-

Ahhh first chapter of my newest PPG fic!!! This is dedicated and practally for all the lovely people in the fandom!!!

#the powerpuff girls #ppg x rrb #ppg #rrb #Blossom x Butch #blossutch #reds and greens #college au #slow burn #ppg fanfiction #thewritingstar #blossom x butch

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ilovemyschool · 4 years

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Teaching through COVID???

Bless you if you actually make it to the end of this post, lol.

I teach high school science- specifically Chemistry and AP Chemistry. I absolutely love teaching and I love my students. I especially enjoy getting to talk to them about what they want to do when they graduate, where they want to go to college, what kind of jobs they want to do, and all of that fun stuff. Finishing high school is an incredibly exciting time in life for a person, and I feel privileged to get to re-live the excitement and apprehension and hopefulness and all the other feelings that come along with having so many possibilities for your life laid out in front of you. I don’t know any other kind of work that allows you to feel those feelings year after year like I get to through my students. I also try to support them through the hard stuff. I listen when they cry and tell me that they feel alone in a room full of people, I hug them (if they want a hug) when they tell me their mom moved out over the weekend, and I feed them and get them additional support when they tell me they are hungry and don’t have enough to eat. I spend hours on tutoring, grading, and lesson planning outside of my “contract hours.” It never bothered me because I knew I was doing something that mattered to my kids. If you’ve never gotten to see a kid gain self-confidence in their own ability by practicing with you one-on-one- let me just tell you it’s magical. When they know you’ll sit down and work with them again and again when it’s still tough for them, they can see that you believe they’re worth the time and effort, and they start to believe it too. When you get a note from a student about how they never thought they’d be able to understand chemistry so well, but aced a state final exam or got a 4 or 5 on the AP exam, it feels like you’ve done more than teach them your subject- you’ve taught them to believe they can do hard things.

I’m sick to my stomach right now, because I am so torn on whether to go back this year. My students are set to come back in two weeks. There are so many things going through my head and this has been whirling around for the past two weeks, so I’m writing it out. To quit or not to quit. That is my question.

To Quit:

*My district notified parents of the plan just two weeks ago at the same time as the teachers- teachers actually just got a quick email that said something to the effect of “oh hey- check out this stuff we’re sending to parents about next school year.”

*Since they released their plan, I got in to see a doctor. I have an autoimmune condition. It’s not a big deal in general, just a pill everyday, but it does affect my risk- although in the grand scheme of immuno-issues, thankfully mine is on the low end of the COVID risk spectrum.

*The district’s plan is for all students to go back to school 5 days/week, unless they opt for the virtual option. The hours will be shortened so that the district doesn’t have to do a deep clean at the 4 hour mark as would be required if we were in school for the usual 7 hours. Instead, teachers will all teach 4 class periods and also have to teach an online class. If you’ve never taught, teaching online is a whole separate thing, so even if you teach chem both online and in person, it’s likely that most of the time you’ll have to set up your lessons completely differently for the two. It’s not a deal breaker, but it’s extra work for sure.

*Teachers are responsible for sanitizing the classrooms between classes, which means we’ll have to pee some other time, although every teacher is teaching all 4 classes, so we won’t have anyone available to cover us? I guess they’ll figure that out?

*According to the FAQ document our principal sent out, if we are told to quarantine or isolate, we have to use our sick days. If we go through our sick days or run out we can apply to the sick day bank. They don’t say it in the FAQ, but once you’ve used up days, they dock your pay.

*However, that might not actually be a problem, because in a virtual staff meeting they held on Friday, the assistant superintendent shared that the health department here is now defining “exposure” as 15 minutes or more within 6 feet of a person who has tested positive without a mask. That means that we could be in the classroom with kids who later test positive for COVID for an hour and neither the teacher nor the parents of the other kids in that class would be notified or asked to isolate because we were all wearing masks and therefore were “not exposed.”

*Since all kids are going back at the same time, thats nearly 1800 kids (minus the ones who signed up to take all their classes virtually). Based on early estimates, less than 20% are going to opt to go online. There are no plans to stagger class changes, which means our hallways will be full- it will not be possible for students to social distance.

*Currently, I have a class with 33 students in one of my face-to-face classes. That’s a fairly big class anyway, but in COVID, they’ll be packed in there. It is not possible to keep that many kids 6 feet apart in my classroom.

*We are relying on parents to do temperature checks every day and keep their child home if their temp is 100.4 or above. If you’ve ever taught, you know that while most parents are responsible with things like this, there are some that will send their child in no matter what because they have to work or (in some very sad situations) want the time to themselves.

*In our state’s official COVID school plans, they outlined “Required,” “Strongly Recommended,” and “Recommended” measures. My district seems to be reading “Strongly Recommended” as “Not Required.” This means that they are okay with us running labs, sharing equipment, and working in close proximity because they think that parents understand that if they’re sending their child to school, that they know their child will be in close proximity to others. They say that parents know that their kids will be 2/bus seat anyway and that they’re going to have to be changing classes in a full hallway. I’m not so sure I agree with that. I think parents are probably very unaware of that because I think it would be reasonable for parents to think that the “Strongly Recommended” guidelines would be implemented. I’m not a parent, but I think that I would assume that? Unfortunately, things like 6 feet of separation, doing on-site temperature checks, and not sharing materials are in the “Strongly Recommended” category, which means the district will “do their best.”

*Our district’s Union President wrote a letter to the board on our behalf regarding the strongly recommended guidelines. The superintendent was dismissive of those concerns, stating that schools in other countries saw negligible spread upon reopening, which is like comparing our shitty COVID apples to European oranges. Shortly after his response, two other board members went on to praise the administration for putting together a “safe” plan and quickly approved it to send on to the department of education. I wish that those board members would come and sit in our classrooms for the first few weeks of school.

*We won’t know which class(es) we’ll be teaching online until the week before (best case scenario), so we can’t prepare very much that is specific to our class until the week before school. We won’t know our final schedule in general until next week. To not know this with only a week and a half to go is insane. My anxiety is in full gear.

*Financially, we could handle it if I don’t work.

Not to Quit:

*I have one student who had me for a science class his freshman year, then requested to take my chemistry class during his sophomore year, and is signed up for AP Chem this year. I don’t want to miss it.

*Lots of my former chem kids are signed up for my AP Chem class this year. I’m newer to the school, but I’ve been really working on growing the AP Chem program. We even had enough students sign up to make 2 sections of AP Chem this year, which hasn’t happened in a long time at this school.

*I don’t want to quit with only 2 weeks before school- granted, they just announced the district plans 2 weeks ago and in that time I’ve had to talk with my husband and family, consult a doctor, and look at our finances and upcoming expenses to gather the information I need to make a decision. However, with only 2 weeks left before kids are in my classroom, it would be extremely tight to hire and have someone in place for those kids. I would hate to leave students in that spot where they might start school with a sub.

*I LOVE my classroom and my lab. I put so much time into organizing and cleaning it out. I decorated it really nice and made it super functional. I would hate to have to move everything out- I doubt I’d ever have a classroom that epic again. All my desks match, too!

*A bird in hand is worth two in the bush. I have a job I really love at a school I like and with kids I like and it’s close to my house. If I resign, they’ll have to hire someone else for my job, and I won’t get it back next year. There is no guarantee that I get hired again next year at another school nearby either. With budget cuts, who knows?

*In a new job, I could be teaching anything in the sciences- I love that I have a specifically chemistry teaching job. Those are rare and hard to come by.

*One of the “Required” measures in the state’s plan is to wear a mask. That’s helpful. All students and staff will have to wear a mask unless they are medically exempt.

*I’m still youngish, especially by COVID risk standards.

*Maybe nothing bad will happen- hopefully it won’t and the year will go relatively smoothly and staff and students will stay healthy and get through unscathed. If that ends up being how it goes, I’d regret resigning and second guess my decision.

*I would feel guilty for calling it quits when so many others don’t have the option and may be at higher risk than me due to age or underlying conditions or taking care of loved ones that are either older or immunocompromised. I know so many teachers who have to work this year because their spouse/partner is unemployed, or they are the sole breadwinner for their family, or they are going to retire soon and need their income to stay high to maximize their social security benefits.

*I don’t know how I’ll take it if I go from teaching full time to being a stay at home wife. I did stay at home for a year when we moved to another state, and it was HARD on me. I developed a bit of a depression, exasperated by some other things that were going on. I got on medication and did some therapy and it eventually resolved, but that SUCKED. I would really miss my students and my fellow teachers and having a clear purpose/mission for my days.

In conclusion...

I’m not generally a hypochondriac or a “Nervous Nelly.” Most stuff rolls off my back fairly easily. This scares me. I get the flu or an upper respiratory thing almost every year. There’s no reason to think that somehow I’ll manage to miss COVID if it comes into our school. I am beyond anxious about teaching in person with so few precautions being taken. I’m also angry that my choices are to resign and lose the job I really want or to go in and feel anxious and angry about the lack of care and respect that teachers and students are being shown by district and building administration for the foreseeable future until COVID is over. I have had a stress knot in my gut for the past two weeks over this stuff, and I highly doubt it’s going away if I decide to stay and teach.

Since the pandemic started I have stayed at my house with few exceptions over the summer. I wear a mask when I go out, I usually use a pick-up option for my groceries, a drive-thru option for my pharmacy, and I just avoid gatherings. We do occasionally see my in-laws and my parents, usually outside and observing social distancing. In my state restaurants can’t fill to more than 50% capacity and movie theaters are just plain closed, but schools are about to open at 100% capacity. I honestly can’t imagine putting myself in an enclosed space with over 30 kids or into a hallway with close to 1800 of them. Even more than that, I can’t imagine not sitting down at a desk next to them to help them or watch them work a problem to see what they’re thinking. I can’t imagine not getting to hug the girl who’s mom left or sit with the boy who doesn’t feel connected with his peers so he comes up to sit with me and do his homework after school. Even if I do teach this year, I worry that my kids won’t get what they need from me- whether that’s homework help or emotional support.

If you are so inclined, please send up a prayer for state leaders, school administrators, teachers/school staff, and students this year. We could all definitely use some wisdom, some grace, and your good vibes.

#teacher #school #back to school #covid #covid19 #covid-19 #tough decisions

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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1052

surveys by lets-make-surveys

1 - Who was the last person to knock on your door? Were they there to see you? Nina usually knocks briefly in the evening to let me know it’s time for dinner. Other than my ex in the past, I don’t let anyone stay in my room for long. Knocking and peeking into my room is enough.

2 - Have you left the house yet today? If not, do you have plans to leave the house later on? No, as it’s only 10 in the morning and I don’t really have a reason to be out somewhere this early. I might go out to buy presents for more relatives, but that’s only if I feel productive enough today. We’ll see.

3 - What’s your favourite brand of chocolate? What type of chocolate bar from that brand is your favourite? The older I get the more I feel like gagging from the idea of chocolate bars lol; they’re all just so sweet. These days my top three would be Hershey’s cookies and cream bar, Whittaker’s chocolate peanut butter bar, and Twix bars. I also love Reese’s, but they aren’t bars.

4 - Have you ever met someone in person who you first met on the internet? Do you have plans to do that anytime soon? Yes, I’ve done this before and I’ve recounted the stories on here multiple times. As for the second question, yeah I technically do? I’ve only met my workmates online so far, so I’m constantly looking forward to the opportunity to finally meet them all in real life.

5 - What was the last thing you used a blender for? I’ve never used a blender. We don’t even own a blender.

6 - Have you ever got into an argument with a stranger on social media? Do you remember what it was about? Yeah, but I don’t even remember what it was about anymore...I do know it was this year, and the person deleted the comment that I replied to not long after.

7 - When was the last time you cracked your joints? Is that something you do often? Now that you reminded me, I just did. I do it at least once a day, whenever my fingers start to feel tight and tense.

8 - What time is it right now? If you weren’t doing a survey, what else would you be doing right now? It is 1:52 PM. I’d be heading to the mall to buy more presents, but I don’t feel like getting out of bed yet. I’d also do embroidery, but my online orders are taking a while to arrive :( My online shopping app says I'll be getting them by Jan 3rd, but the shipping tracker says it’s already being shipped from China to here so I’m looking forward to receiving it this week. I hope that’s the case; otherwise it’ll miss the point of being my hobby this Christmas break.

9 - If you had ten minutes to run around an empty supermarket and fill your trolley for free, what’s the first aisle you’d go for? The fancy meat/fish section. Then I’d go to the condiments/spice section, then frozen food, then chips.

10 - Aside from Tumblr, what websites do you visit the most and why? YouTube, because I find videos a soothing distraction; Twitter to keep me updated on local and international news; Reddit for quirky posts; and Wikipedia so I can continue learning trivia I’ll never have to use but want to gain anyway.

11 - Has COVID had any impact on your Christmas plans this year? What’s going to change or be different to normal? My dad is home for Christmas this year, which is one silver lining from Covid. But my relatives living abroad who usually fly back to the Philippines for the holidays obviously won’t be able to this year, so we’re not gonna have a packed family reunion like we normally do. Everything else is the same, but I think the biggest thing about this whole thing is that I can barely feel Christmas coming this year. I think it’s going to feel like such a plain Friday this week; and that makes me a little sad.

12 - What’s your favourite flavour of cake? Are you any good at making that kind of cake? My favorite flavor is chocolate, but my favorite kind of cake (which I enjoy a lot more than general chocolate cake) is cheesecake. I cannot make either, nor can I bake at all.

13 - Do you prefer sweet or sour candy? Sweet. I hate any sour foods with a passion lol especially sour candy; it is my absolute least favorite taste. I don’t find anything enjoyable or fulfilling about it.

14 - What colour is your favourite fruit? Is this a fruit you eat often? Already made my feelings for fruit clear on this blog, haha.

15 - Is your favourite restaurant an independent place or a chain? What is it that you love about it so much? It’s a chain, like most popular restaurants here. Independent places are a little hard to come by, to be honest. They make the best katsu I’ve ever had; and I also like that despite being a chain restaurant, the ambience is still quite sophisticated and date-friendly so I always feel like I’m treating myself whenever I eat there.

16 - Are you genuinely a fan of Starbucks or do you think it’s all hype? I personally enjoy everything about Starbucks. I like their coffees, their Frappes, the ambience in their coffee shops, their playlists, and their line-up of mugs and tumblers. I’ve always felt right at home in their shops and out of all the cafés I’ve been to, it’s always their baristas that have been the nicest.

17 - Do you own a Christmas jumper? What design/pattern does it have on it? No, I don’t.

18 - What’s your favourite fit/style of jeans? I was obsessed with mom jeans throughout 2020.

19 - What was the last non-essential item you spent money on? Overpriced coffee and a sandwich.

20 - Are you currently under any COVID-related restrictions where you live? Are people generally following the rules? Public places are super strict with requiring everyone to wear a face shield and face mask; before entering any establishment, people’s temperatures are taken and everyone’s also required to take a contact tracing form. Anyone under the age of 21 still isn’t allowed to go out for the most part, though I think there are some exceptions now because I see kids younger than me already going on out-of-town trips again. Some places that are big on tourism like Sagada, Batanes, and Baguio are still closed off from the public; those that have since reopened, like Boracay, follow strict protocol and everyone going there is required to undergo a swab test. Everyday Filipinos follow the rules; it’s the politicians and police force who don’t, which feels disgusting to say.

21 - What did you last leave the room you’re in to do? A package arrived for me so I had to pay for it. It was the phone case I ordered for my cousin.

22 - Have you ever read any self-help books? Did you find them useful? No. I don’t really believe in that genre, so I never felt pulled to buy a book.

23 - What’s your favourite programme on the Food Network (if you watch it)? If you don’t get that channel, what’s your favourite food/cookery show in general? All things Gordon Ramsay, man. MasterChef, Hell’s Kitchen, and Kitchen Nightmares are all *chef’s kiss* The Great British Bake Off is also great and something I like watching when I want to wind down :)

24 - Do you still watch cartoons? From time to time.

25 - Who do you know with the most number of siblings? Would you ever want to live in a huge family? My grandpa was one of nine siblings, if I’m not mistaken. I’m not sure if I know a bigger set than that. Unless my family was filthy rich, I would not want to have such a big immediate family.

26 - Are you a fan of garlic bread? Sure. I tend to ask for others’ too, heh.

27 - Do you own any personalised clothing? What’s the reason for getting it? No, not a fan. Two years ago we had a huge family reunion on my dad’s side and we had to wear these cheesy shirts that said “[Last Name] Reunion” with some cheesy motto at the bottom. My parents hated it, which made me feel better about my own feelings about the shirt lol.

28 - Is anyone else in the same room as you right now? What is that person up to? No, it’s just me here.

29 - What colours are you wearing right now? Does your wardrobe contain a lot of those colours? White, maroon, and scarlet. I have a lot of white and maroon; not so much of scarlet as I find the color too bold.

30 - Do you like adding condiments to your food? If so, what are some of your favourites? Yes. My food always needs to have soup, condiments, or sauces; otherwise I tend to feel the dish is too dry. I like mayonnaise, banana ketchup, hot sauce, and lechon sauce.

1 - What have you been up to so far today? Is that a typical thing for you to do on this particular day of the week? I’ve taken a couple of surveys and started binge-watching segments of my newest Korean reality show discovery, 2 Days 1 Night. The breakout actor from Start-Up and the newest love of my life HAHAHA is a cast member on the current season of 2D1N so I’ve been all over the show today. It’s hilarious; I can hardly believe I’m only discovering the show this late.

2 - Did you get a decent night’s sleep last night? How many hour’s sleep do you consider a decent amount? It was around five hours, which isn’t a lot to me. I usually sleep 7-9 hours these days, but I might wreck my body clock during the holiday break because I want to keep being awake and do the things I haven’t been able to do because of work.

3 - What is one silly thing that really gets on your nerves? Seeing pickles in a burger.

4 - Who was the last person you saw who wasn’t family? What did you guys end up doing together? The friendly Starbucks barista from yesterday; her name was Princess. We didn’t do anything lol, she just took my order and was super friendly about it, and she also gave me the Starbucks planner that I chose to redeem.

5 - Do you prefer hot or cold drinks overall? Cold. I avoid hot drinks now haha. Ever since I had that incident with the takoyaki, I’ve been too scared to let any hot food or drink touch my mouth.

6 - Do you own a decent set of waterproofs? If so, what do you use them for the most? If not, do you think that would be something you’d find useful? I don’t know what this is referring to, and I’m too lazy to Google right now. I’ve only ever known this word as an adjective, whoops.

7 - Do you have any plans for the rest of the day? Take more surveys, and maybe have another cup of coffee. I’ll also have to get started on a daily report I submit for work every weekday morning so that my load will be lighter tomorrow. Our office is technically on shutdown until January 4th, but some clients require a daily report every day and I’ll have to shoulder that with another co-associate. It sucks, but at least it’s the only thing I’ll have to do for the next two weeks.

8 - How often do you get your hair cut? When hairdressers were closed due to COVID, did you try cutting it yourself at home? I only go to the salon once a year, and I already did it this 2020 when I chopped off my hair and got bangs. Yeah, whenever my bangs start to get too long I either ask my mom to trim them or I do so myself.

9 - What did you wear the last time you left the house? Is that different to what you’re wearing at the moment? I walked Cooper half an hour ago and I just stayed in the same clothes I’ve been in all day, which was a tank top underneath an oversized hoodie and a pair of shorts.

10 - Would you rather have a relaxing beach holiday or a more active holiday in the mountains? The beach would be perfect right now, but I think my answer changes every time this is asked and I’m pretty sure I picked mountains the last time HAHAHA. I just realized being in the mountains would give me the same cooped-up feeling I’ve been having from staying at home for such a long time, and it might not be the best and healthiest trip for me...the beach definitely sounds more freeing and therapeutic.

11 - Do you know how to tie a tie? Nah, never learned. I’ve never been good at tying anything up, period.

12 - How old were you when you first had a sleepover at someone’s house? Did you miss home? I was 15 or 16; I’m not entirely sure anymore. Not at all, I was so excited to have been allowed to go to my first sleepover.

13 - How often do you spend time with your extended family? Under normal circumstances, we’d visit my grandma and cousins on my mom’s side once every few months or so. It was pretty regular since they’re just a stone’s throw away. But obviously we’ve since had to drastically cut our get-togethers back, and I’ve only seen them around three times since the beginning of the year. My dad’s family lives pretty far south, so I only get to see them once or twice a year even in pre-Covid days; not much of a difference there.

14 - When you get up in the morning, do you have a set routine? No. I just wake up feeling dread and have no choice but to wait for the weight in my chest to subside.

15 - Do you remember the last time you cried? Were they sad or happy tears? Yesterday in my car, in the mall parking lot. Sad tears.

16 - What do you have planned once you finish this survey? Look for another one. I misseddddd taking surveys and I plan on taking a crap ton of them this Christmas break. I may also be called for dinner, so there’s that.

17 - What was the last thing you cooked? Did you cook from scratch or just heat something up? I dunno if it counts as cooking, but I just made the DIY ramen kit that I received as a Christmas gift from the branch I was originally an intern at. Everything was already prepared in the kit and all I needed to do was boil water for the noodles and prepare the broth. Turned out surprisingly good.

18 - Are you a fan of hot chocolate? Do you like it plain or do you prefer to add things like whipped cream or marshmallows? I love hot chocolate and will order it sometimes, but given my aforementioned fear of hot beverages I always wait for it to considerably cool down hahaha. I like my hot chocolate plain.

19 - What caused your last injury? Cooper’s nails.

20 - How many tattoos and piercings do you have? Do any of them have an interesting story behind them? Just a piercing on each of my earlobes. No interesting stories...yet.

21 - What kind of flowers do you like the best? When was the last time someone bought those for you? I like peonies, though I’m not sure if my ex ever gave me a bouquet that included those.

22 - What’s the smallest thing you’ve ended a relationship over? I’ve only been with one person and I dated her twice, but I was never the one who ended the relationship either time so can’t really answer this.

23 - Would you rather order a starter (appetiser) or a dessert? Or would you be able to manage a full three courses? Three-course meal, pls. I’ve only experienced it once, when my parents treated me to dinner during my cruise gift for my 18th birthday; it was great and every dish was made amazingly well.

24 - How do you get most of your news, if you pay attention to it at all? I catch the evening news every weeknight because we keep the telvision turned on during dinner. I also get to read articles on social media.

25 - Have you or a member of your family been diagnosed with COVID yet? None that I know of, thankfully. It’s always been someone that a relative knows, but so far none of us have gotten it.

26 - Are you a vegetarian? If so, what persuaded you to stop eating meat? If not, is it something you’d ever consider? No. I have been considering it for years, but I truthfully don’t know if I could give up meat.

27 - Do you prefer rice or pasta? Rice.

28 - Is anything you’re wearing a gift? Who bought it for you? No.

29 - What’s the dominant colour in the room you’re in at the moment? I guess white, since my walls are white and that’s the first thing you see when entering my room.

30 - Did you do laundry yet today? If not, do you need to do any before you go to bed? Not my chore to do, but it was already done a few days ago.

#survey #surveys #multiple surveysss

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