#once again go read this story its so very captivating

[ro-is-struggling]

The Ballad of Orpheus and Eurydice || Geralt of Rivia x nymph!reader

REQUESTED

Summary: Life was good when Geralt was by her side. They were in love and happy... Until they weren't and she was left alone once again. After spending so much time under his protection, she had forgotten how dangerous the world was for creatures like her. Sad and heartbroken, she was unable to defend herself when the men came for her. Now locked up far away from her forest, she only hoped that her loved protector would come to her rescue.

Warnings: angst (with happy ending), major character death, reader gets imprisoned by a evil dude (I don't know how to tag this lol but I think it’s important to mention that she’s forced to serve him), fluff (it’s not all sad, I promise), forest nymph!reader, fem!reader, let me know if I missed anything!

English is not my first language

Word count: 12.700 (it's a long one)

Notes: A few things to have in mind while reading: It follows the timeline very loosely, and Geralt and Yen's relationship never got to that solid point in s3 cause it's not real love, just the product of Geralt binding their fates together with that wish

She never imagined that her story would end like this, locked in a cold and humid dungeon far away from her forest. Nymphs were not immortal beings —something she had come close to verifying several times in her long years on the continent—, so the idea of her inevitable end was something that she had thought about from time to time. It was not something that haunted her obsessively, but every once in a while her mind would wander to the imagining of the end of her days. 

She lived a quiet life, making sure to be cautious around any unwanted people who passed through her forest. She had no enemies, at least not ones powerful enough to present a real danger to her. So she always imagined that she would die a peaceful death, slowly fading away as her birth tree withered away after having completed its cycle on this earth. If not, she imagined she would die a heroic death as she fought the greedy humans to prevent the destruction of her forest. Both scenarios brought her a sense of comfort in a way, because they showed that she had fulfilled her life's mission, the purpose for which she had been placed on the continent.

She never imagined that the end of her days would actually be so dark and torturous, forced to live in captivity away from her home and everything she loved. She never thought she would miss the feel of the wind on her face, or the warmth of the early morning sun, or the sweet scent of flowers in the spring. She had never imagined herself living anywhere but her forest, but that was an option that had been taken away from her the moment King Elian's men set foot in her home. 

She had heard rumors of his infamous reputation from the mouths of other frightened nymphs. His name inspired terror among magical creatures, who chose to call him The Hunter as if the mere mention of his name was a sign of bad omens. He was known for his obsession with magical creatures and what he did with them after capturing them. Despite what his nickname implied, he did not always chase a magical creature to kill it and display some part of its body as a hunting trophy. No. There was a fate far more horrible and obscure than that, and that was to end up as a piece of his collection, just another exhibit, forced to smile in his presence and perform for his entertainment whenever he wanted it. It was the terrible fate that had unfortunately fallen upon her. 

In the past she had not seen King Elian as a threat. His kingdom was on the other side of the continent and while he used to go on hunting trips when he heard rumors of a creature in his vicinity, he had never ventured this far before. Besides, she was under the protection of one of the continent's fiercest witchers, so she knew no one would dare mess with her. No one who knew Geralt of Rivia would dare to challenge him, and the poor bastards who, out of ignorance or arrogance did, usually didn't live to tell the tale. The bond they had was strong, a love unlike any she had ever experienced in her many years of life, so she never thought there would be a day when she would wake up without him by her side.

"The king requires your presence." A guard announced from her cell door, snapping her out of her thoughts. She rose to her feet reluctantly, stepping up to the bars so he could put the handcuffs on her before unlocking her cell. The dimeritium on her wrists was engraved with the same symbols as the bars of the box in which she spent her days. It was a powerful incantation that weakened her magic so that she could not use her powers to escape. It was painful since the metal burned her skin, but she had learned the hard way not to complain.

The guard led her to the throne room, where the king was shouting directions to the group of servants working on decorating the place, changing the curtains and adding chairs and tables to the sides of the room. She had been there long enough to know that the castle was being prepared for a feast, though she did not know what the celebratory occasion was.

She forced herself to bow when the king's eyes fell upon her figure, though her expression showed how little respect she truly had for him. "Your majesty." She murmured as a learned response as she lowered her gaze to the ground.

"I hope you used your time in the dungeon to reflect on your attitude." His voice was firm, almost as if he was still angry with her for refusing to comply with his demands almost a week ago when he had wanted to use her to entertain the king of the neighboring kingdom who had come to visit. "You have to understand that you belong to me. You are here to serve me and the only reason you are not dead already is that I find you useful. But that can change and it depends entirely on how you behave. Do I make myself clear?"

She clenched her jaw, biting her tongue to avoid causing a scene that would undoubtedly send her straight to the dungeon again. "Yes, my king." She wasn't able to look him in the eye as she spoke as she didn't want to see the satisfaction in his expression. 

"As a demonstration of my great generosity and compassion, I have decided to give you a second chance to prove your loyalty. But do not mistake my mercy for stupidity for this will be your last chance to prove your worth to me. If you say or do anything out of place you will know the sharp blade of my sword."

After she submissively assured him that she understood the seriousness of his words, he explained that he needed her to take care of some of the preparations for the feast in honor of his daughter. During the week the entire kingdom had participated in the celebrations for the girl's fifteenth birthday, an event that would culminate with a grand banquet in the evening. She would be in charge of preparing the floral arrangements that would decorate the entire palace as well as being responsible for the main entertainment since there was nothing to match the singing of a nymph. But in addition, the king put her on a special task. He wanted to give his daughter a beautiful garden with different types of flowers —one for each year of her life—, and she was the perfect person for the job. She accepted without question, not so much because she valued her life or feared reprisals if she refused, but rather because after being locked up for so long she missed being in contact with nature. 

"If it's alright with you, my lord, I would like to start with the garden." She said in the most respectful way possible, explaining that with her powers weakened it was the task that would take the most work.

She was escorted by a group of half a dozen guards, who grabbed her roughly by the arms and dragged her through the castle corridors to the garden. Normally she would have complained about their mistreatment, but it all stopped mattering to her when she felt the gentle breeze hit the skin of her face. It was a wonderful feeling smelling the wet dirt in the air and hearing the birds singing after having spent so much time locked up in the deepest part of the castle. It almost felt like freedom.

Working in the garden awakened a bittersweet feeling in her. On the one hand, it was the most comfortable she had been since she arrived at the castle. Walking barefoot on the grass, feeling the earth between her toes and the flowers growing under her hands was as close to home as she had ever been. It was liberating in a way, putting her powers to good use and connecting with the nature she missed so much. But, on the other hand, it was also a reminder of all that she had lost, the life she would never get back. As much as she loved being outside after so many days locked up, she couldn't help but notice that nothing felt like home. The flowers didn't smell the same, the grass under her feet wasn't as soft, and even the birds didn't sing the same. That wasn't her home. This was not her forest. 

As she buried her hands in the ground, she couldn't help but question what she was doing, and more importantly, why she was doing it. Sure, avoiding further punishment for disobeying the king's orders was a valid motivation, but was it really worth it? Why was she trying to preserve her life when the only future she had was to live locked up there forever? Was dying such a terrible fate when the alternative was imprisonment and slavery? A life away from her home, forced to indulge the whims of a power-hungry monster was no life at all, so why was she there obeying the orders of that disgusting man? 

Then she realized that she still held out hope of escaping. Her spirit wasn't completely crushed and her love for Geralt wasn't entirely gone, so even if it was foolish, she still hoped he would show up to rescue her. They hadn't seen each other for over a year, since that sad day when their story had met an abrupt end after he confessed to her that there was another woman in his life, but she still held out hope of seeing him again. She dreamed of seeing his long white hair move in the air as he skillfully knocked down the guards that separated them and freed her from her confinement. How could she not when he had been her savior on more than one occasion? In fact, that was how they had met.

She was frightened and hurt the first time she saw him, trapped in a cage with symbols carved into the bars. It was a powerful spell that weakened her powers just like the shackles of dimeritium around her wrists. The cage was too small for her, a confined space where she could barely stretch her legs or sit up straight if she wanted to. A group of well-trained men had managed to capture her, taking advantage of her distraction and temporary weakness to lock her up and take her back to their master. She was so terrified that when she heard Geralt's sword clash with that of one of her attackers, she curled up in a corner, her body folding in on itself in an attempt to make herself small and invisible to the group of fighting men. 

She recognized immediately that he was a witcher and that brought her no relief. While his kind generally didn't tend to see nymphs as dangerous monsters —as long as they behaved and didn't do anything to end up on their list, of course— she didn't feel completely safe in the presence of a witcher. She tended to hide on the occasions when one passed through her forest, believing it was best to stay away from people like that just in case. After all, they were monster hunters, a concept that, in her experience, meant something different to each individual and there was no way of knowing for sure if she fell into that category or not. So, even though he had overpowered her captors, she still felt fear when he approached.

Geralt felt that fear as soon as he took a step towards her, it was almost as strong as the power and magic that flowed from her being. Her beauty alone was enough to let him know that she was a nymph of the forest. Behind the earth and blood, hidden in a grimace of terror, were the delicate features that the witcher had only seen in the creatures of her kind that he had encountered in the past. The nymphs had a certain look, a special glow that distinguished them from the rest of the magical beings on the continent. They were also one of the gentlest and most peaceful creatures on the continent, focused only on protecting their homes and turning to violence only as a last defense mechanism. That was why Geralt did not sense a drop of evil in her. And that was also why he set out to free her from her confinement.

Even though her captors lay dead on the ground, she still looked terrified, her eyes glassy with tears and her lower lip trembling as she struggled to hold back a sob. When he approached her, the nymph snuggled further into the corner, pulling her knees to her chest in a protective manner. He raised his hands in the air in an attempt to show her that he was not going to hurt her, walking slowly toward the cage so he could release her. It was then that he noticed the symbols on the bars and the dimeritium shackles, which helped him understand how she had ended up there and why she was so scared. She was in a position of extreme vulnerability without her magic and, despite having saved her, he was a complete stranger who could very well cause her more trouble. So the witcher made an effort to appear friendly and non-threatening.

“I’m not here to hurt you.” He told her to try to calm her down, though it wasn't much help. She curled further into the corner of the cage, hugging her legs to her chest and looking up at him with watchful eyes from between her knees.

"I know what you are." She answered him, the fear clear in her voice. "You are a witcher, you kill-"

"Monsters, yes." Geralt spoke for her. "But you are not one of them. You're safe with me." 

At that moment she had no way of knowing what kind of impact those words would have on her life and how genuine they were. She accepted his help because she had no other choice, but time would show her how fortunate she had been to cross paths with Geralt. At first he played hard to get, barely speaking as she nursed his wounds once her powers stabilized. She'd had to resort to using her charms a little to soften that hard exterior of his, but once Geralt began to open up to her, she discovered the man he truly was. 

Geralt tended to lean into rumors about himself and his kind, pretending to be emotionless and not caring about anything or anyone but himself. But that was all an act, a protective shield. In reality he cared. He was capable of feeling emotions as deeply as any other being on the continent. He hated and held grudges, but he also loved and cared for those close to him just as intensely. And once she discovered that, she found it very easy to love him back. 

She was truly safe with him, and in the long years that their love blossomed he did nothing but prove that to her. Geralt was her favorite person in the world. He was her home, her lover, her protector... A love like that was not easily forgotten and no one could blame her for holding out even the slightest hope that he would come for her, that he would somehow sense that she was in danger and rush to her rescue. It had happened in the past, their connection was that strong, so it wasn't an entirely far-fetched idea. It was just... naive of her.

Geralt had been traveling for days. He usually preferred to use alternative paths hidden behind forests or swamps, they were quieter and better for his business. Not many people used them so he didn't run into anyone that would bother him, and it was easy to run into the occasional monster roaming around, so it was a win-win situation for everyone. What he hated, however, was that most of the time it took him twice as long to get to some town where he could rest with minimal comforts and eat a hot meal. 

Had he taken the main road he would probably already be at his destination, drinking in the dark corner of some dingy bar or locked in the room of some cheap inn, and not wandering the forest in search of an animal big enough to satisfy his appetite. He didn't mind being outdoors or having to hunt for his food on the spot —-in fact he was so used to that he almost preferred it—, but this time he was tired and couldn't wait to be anywhere but there. Perhaps that was why when he came across a king and his hunting party he accepted his offer to return to his camp to eat with him without putting up much of a fight. 

Geralt hated royalty and King Elian was no exception. He was arrogant and self-absorbed, just like the vast majority of kings, but there was something else about him that rubbed the witcher the wrong way. He tried to decline his offer at first, but he was unwilling to take no for an answer.

"I'm afraid I will have to insist. My camp is not far from here and my tent is big and warm. I have more than enough food and I would love to hear some of your stories while we eat." The king insisted, pressing Geralt to accept his offer. "My men don't make for good company and I'm bored. I'm sure a witcher like you has been involved in a good share of adventures that make for fascinating stories."

In any other circumstances, Geralt would have found a way to escape from there. The last thing he wanted was to be used as the personal entertainment of an arrogant king. But this time he decided not to resist too much. He attributed it to his tiredness, he had been traveling for a long time and at least it wouldn't be a sacrifice in vain since he could at least get food in exchange for entertaining him for a while. But perhaps there was something more than that playing a role there. Fate itself had crossed their paths for a reason, even though he didn't know it yet.

"It's not as interesting or glorious as one might think." Geralt said with honesty. 

In his experience there were two types of opinions regarding his people and what they did for a living. There were the people who despised them for what they were and believed they were no different than the monsters they killed and there were those who found them fascinating and longed to go on adventures like the ones they often experienced. To him both opinions were bullshit. He wasn't a monster, he didn't kill for pleasure or for fun as many people believed, but neither was he some kind of hero whose life was worthy of being immortalized in songs and poems. He was just a man who did what he knew best to survive, just like all witchers and all beings on the continent. He and his kind did not deserve hatred, but neither did they deserve to be crowned with laurels. They deserved to be left in peace, nothing more, nothing less.

"I have to say I'm grateful for the work you and your kind does." The king continued speaking without acknowledging Geralt's words. It was as if he was not there, his words were of little value to the king when they did not say exactly what he wanted to hear from him. "These creatures are dangerous and can't be left alone to live amongst us. Although some are fascinating creatures if given proper care and purpose."

Geralt looked at the monarch with a frown, unsure of what he meant by that. He said nothing, however, just remained silent for most of their journey to the camp, while trying to get a better read on the man beyond the typical arrogance of all of his kind. There was something about him that he did not like, something that caused a feeling that other kings and nobles did not. It was something more than his simple unpleasant personality, but he could not figure out what it was.

"You should come to my kingdom sometime." King Elian offered as they finally reached what appeared to be the camp where he and his hunting party had set up their base. "I have a collection of creatures I'm sure you would love to see."

The witcher halted his walk, looking at the king with narrowed eyes. "A collection?"

"Oh yes! I have the biggest collection of magical creatures in the whole continent." He admitted as if it was something to be proud of. "I have some pretty rare ones I'm sure you and your people would love to study. You're more than welcome to come over anytime! After all, we are all on the same side."

Geralt did not like the way the king referred to magical creatures and hated that he equated himself with witchers and the work they did. They didn't lock up monsters to brag about their large collection to strangers. They didn't see them as objects that gave them some kind of prestige. They saw them as living creatures, sometimes dangerous, sometimes misunderstood. Witchers did not enslave or kill monsters for fun as he seemed to do and Geralt was disgusted that he would even try to imply such a thing.

However, before he could voice his opinion, the king shoved him into his luxurious tent and the servants set a plate of food in front of him. It was filled with meat and potatoes and vegetables so colorful that they must have been freshly picked. It might have been the hunger talking, but it was the most appetizing food he had tasted in a long time. It was indeed fit for a king and Geralt thought it was definitely worth chatting with his host for a while in exchange for a share, especially after tasting the wine.

"It's good, isn't it?" the king asked him, studying his reaction as he lifted the wine glass to his mouth. "I have someone special that takes care of all the plants in the castle so I only eat the best of the best. It's actually one of my creatures. You can meet her, if you want."

Geralt let go of the piece of meat between his fingers and looked at the king with a frown. There was a subtle change in the air that made him instinctively tense, wondering what his host was up to. The king gave him a small smile before gesturing to one of his men, who left the tent without saying a word. The monarch's menacing aura put the witcher on alert, carefully watching his every move while he ate as if trying to predict what he would do next. His attitude had changed in a matter of seconds. Geralt couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, but there was something about the way he looked back at him that put him on edge. It was almost as if he was waiting for something to happen —as if he knew something was going to happen—, the glow of anticipation clear in his eyes. 

He didn't understand his attitude, at least not until the guard returned to the tent. Only he wasn't alone, but was carrying a girl on his arm who was shuffling her bare feet across the ground hesitantly, as if she really didn't want to be there. Her eyes were downcast and her long hair was tangled over her face, so that Geralt could not see her features. Her dress, which seemed to have been a beautiful piece of art at one time, was now dirty and worn, with the fabric torn to shreds on some sides. Her hands were bound together at her wrists, trapped by shackles of dimeritium that marked her condition of slavery. It was a sad sight that became horrifying when Geralt smelled the scent of flowers in the air.

His heart stopped as his nostrils were assaulted with the sweet smell of cherry blossom that he knew and had come to love. The world around him stopped as he was struck with the horrible realization of what was happening. He did not need to see the face of the captured young woman to know it was her. It was enough to feel her energy in the tent as he breathed in her characteristic sweet scent. 

Geralt jumped to his feet, hand gripping his sword as he entered a state of desperation. He wasn't thinking, he couldn't, he had been reduced to his most primitive instincts by seeing her there in that condition. She was weak and injured in a way that Geralt had never seen, her glow and warm, positive energy almost completely extinguished after being tortured for who knows how long. However, when her eyes met his, he noticed a slight glimmer of joy and hope. That only further increased his desire to protect her, the murderous urge growing inside him and urging him to crush anyone who stood between them.

"Let her go!" Geralt demanded firmly, turning his eyes away from his former lover to look the king in the eyes. 

He was furious and desperate, it was evident in his voice and in the hard expression on his face. Anyone would have given in to his demands if he looked at them with those murderous eyes, but King Elian did not flinch. He didn't seem to care that Geralt was pointing his sword at him or that he looked ready to take on an army on his own, he continued to eat as if nothing was happening while the tent filled with guards ready to defend him.

"Please, sit down. You barely touched your food." The monarch spoke in a calm, casual tone. But Geralt did not move, he stood his ground, sword held high and hate-filled eyes fixed on him. "Fate is its a curious thing, don't you agree? This invisible force pushing us to the right path so we might fulfill our destiny, making every little interaction, every little decision, integral... Take this as an example. This morning when I woke up I didn't think that I was going to cross paths with you and yet here we are."

"Let. Her. Go." Geralt interrupted the king's unimportant ramblings, pausing slightly at each word to emphasize his anger. He didn't care what the man had to say, he would slice him through with his sword right there if it weren't for the fact that his sweet nymph was bound and surrounded by guards who wouldn't hesitate to hurt her before he could get to her. "I won't ask again. Next time it will be my sword doing the talking."

"I don't want to fight you, Geralt. If anything, I want to thank you for helping me fulfill my destiny, my purpose of becoming the biggest collector of magical creatures in the continent... You see, if it weren't for you, I could never have captured a forest nymph as powerful as her. I admit that you ruined my plans the first time when you attacked my men, but in the end it was thanks to you that I was able to get my hands on her."

"What are you talking about?" the witcher asked, confused. It could be the adrenaline coursing through his veins and drowning out his thoughts —or the fact that his heart was beating so fast that it was pounding in his ears muffling all other sounds—, but the king wasn't making much sense to him. They had never crossed paths before, and if they had, he would never have helped him in something so horrible.

"I could never have caught her while she was under your protection. But when you left... well, let's just say she was withering away little by little, weakening day by day until she got to the point where she couldn't defend herself when my men came for her."

Geralt froze in place as the king's words echoed in his head. It was a lot of information to process and he was in no condition to do so. If he wasn't so devastated he might have reacted to the implication that the king had been watching them, waiting for the right moment to strike after he had saved her from his men the day they had met. But at that moment he could only concentrate on the feelings of guilt and regret that came over him. 

When he left, he never thought about the consequences his decision might have. He never thought about how his departure would affect her or if she would be okay. He knew she would be sad and hurt, just as it hurt him to have to leave her, but he also knew it was the right thing to do. So he focused on moving on, hoping she would too, without stopping to consider the consequences. He thought about her a lot in the time they spent apart —when he lay awake at night, admiring the stars and the nocturnal sounds of the woods; or as he dressed quietly after spending a night with Yennefer—, but in his mind he always pictured her happy. She was strong and had lived many years alone on the continent before their paths crossed, so he was sure that their breakup would not destroy her. He was sure that she would find a way to get back on her feet and that it would be better for the both of them to stay apart. 

Now he realized that was just an excuse. He was being selfish, protecting himself and running away from reality so as not to face it because it hurted him. It hurted to know that he was hurting her. It hurted that he fell in love with another woman behind her back. It hurted to have to leave her after all they had been through together, the love they shared, the moments of vulnerability and intimacy that had brought them together. It hurted because he had failed her, because he couldn't keep his promise to be with her forever. So he completely disappeared from her life, making excuses to justify his behavior and convince himself that he was doing the right thing even though he knew deep down that he wasn't. He ran away like a coward and she ended up paying the price for it.

The witcher's eyes searched the nymph's, hoping to find in them the answers to the questions he had not asked, some indication that the king was not lying. She escaped his gaze, feeling embarrassed and extremely vulnerable. But eventually their gazes met and Geralt knew the mistake he had made. He should have been there for her. He should have helped her when they came for her. He should have searched for her all over the continent once he noticed her disappearance. He should have protected her, just as he always had. He had failed her twice, but he would not let there be a third.

Geralt carried out his threat without hesitation, lashing out at the nearest soldiers in an effort to reach her. The clinking sound of clashing swords and the groans of his opponents were all that echoed in his mind, focusing on his enemy to keep his head cool and ensure victory. They were no threat to him. They were well trained and knew how to move around very well, but he was a witcher with decades of experience and unmatched reflexes and skills. He had defeated them once in the past and he would do it again now without breaking a sweat.

At least that's what he thought before he heard the voice of the young nymph in the distance calling out for him.

“Geralt!” She exclaimed his name for the first time in what felt like an eternity. Her sweet voice traveled through the air, piercing through the sound of metal and the grunts of pain until it reached his ears. She managed to get his attention immediately as he recognized the hint of fear in it. As he buried his sword in his opponent, his eyes snapped up to her, searching for her in the crowd following the sound of her voice. 

When he finally found her, Geralt's heart sank as he discovered the reason for the fear in her voice. The king had his hands around her, holding her tightly against his body. His left hand was wrapped around her torso, restricting her movement, while his right hand wielded a silver dagger against her neck. The metal gleamed in the dim light, revealing the sharp edge that burned the girl's skin. Desperate, Geralt tried to lunge at the monarch, but he stopped him with a click of his tongue.

"One more step and she dies." He assured, firmly. Geralt noticed the honesty in his voice, so he stayed in place and slowly lowered his sword —though he did not drop it—, a desperate attempt to buy time to think of a plan to get out of there with her by his side.

"You don't have to do this." Geralt tried to reason with him even though he knew it was in vain. He didn't see her as more than an object, just another piece in his long collection of creatures, so it was safe to assume he didn't value her life very much. But still, Geralt didn't have much choice so he tried anyway.

"She has been nothing but trouble since the moment she arrived at the castle, isn't that right, darling?" The king grumbled, lowering his head just slightly so he could mutter the last question against the young nymph's ear. "Crying all day, disobeying my orders, upsetting the other creatures... and now your friend over here kills half my men after I feed him and show him my generosity."

"If we present so much trouble to you, why don't you let us go? I'll take her with me and I promise you won't hear from us ever again."

"You are ungrateful brats." The king continued speaking, completely ignoring Geralt's words. "You think you are special, important, and therefore above it all... but you are not. Your actions have consequences and I am the one who decides what they are... You do not deserve my generosity or my mercy."

Geralt didn't have time to think about the hypocrisy in the monarch's words because before he could process them his eyes watched in horror as he slid the blade of the dagger across his beloved's neck. Blood began to gush violently from the wound, the thick, sticky liquid sliding down the young woman's delicate skin, turning everything red. He screamed her name, his sword slipping from his fingers and crashing to the floor with a muffled sound. He ran towards her, completely forgetting the guards he was fighting moments before. He only cared about her.

Suddenly, he felt as if he was moving in slow motion, as if his feet were twice as heavy and dragging them along the ground was more difficult than usual. Everyone around him seemed to slow down, the men around him, the gentle breeze of the wind... everything but her. He watched her collapse to the ground, blood covering her chest as she struggled to keep breathing. But he couldn't reach her. All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms one more time, but it was as if an abyss was keeping them apart. It felt as if fate was mocking him, punishing him for his mistakes by allowing him to be there with her, but not letting him do anything to save her. 

He tried to stop the bleeding as he knelt beside her —placing his hands on her neck and feeling the blood gushing from the wound—, but it was too late. She was pale and weak, all the magic in the world could not have saved her at that moment. There were tears in her eyes, in those beautiful green orbs that were fading with each passing second. She was scared, Geralt could see it in her expression. She didn't want to go, but she knew there was nothing else to do now.

"I'm here, I'm here." Geralt whispered in the calmest, most comforting tone he was capable of uttering at that moment. He swallowed his anger and pain, holding back tears so he could give her some peace. He cradled her face in his hands, fingers caressing the skin of her cheeks delicately as if he were afraid of breaking it. "It's going to be okay... you're going to be okay. I will fix this."

She opened her mouth in an attempt to speak, but instead of sound only blood came out. Geralt caressed her gently, feeling the tears rolling down her cheeks. She clutched her hand around his arm, looking up at him with pleading eyes. She was begging him to understand her, to read in her eyes her thoughts as he had done so many times in the past. It took Geralt a few seconds to understand her, although in hindsight it should have been obvious to him. She wanted to tell him that she loved him, to assure him that none of it was his fault and that no matter what had happened between them, he would own her heart forever. 

"I love you. I always will."

Geralt saw the reassurance in her face as the warmth of love enveloped her in her last moments. She gave him the faintest of smiles, an almost invisible sign of the peace his words had brought her. And then her grip on his arm weakened, her hand dropping to the floor as life left her body. Suddenly, that subtle smile, now permanently carved into her expression, was all he had left of her, of her life and the love they shared. 

Geralt did not fight when the soldiers dragged him and tied him to a tree to leave him there to die while they escaped, he did not have the strength to do so. He was numb to the world around him, consumed by grief. The sound of the king and his men preparing to leave sounded muffled and distant, as if they were far away from him. And in a way they were, for his mind was not one with his body, but far away. He was focused on the slowly withering body of his beloved, on the fear as she called his name and the terror in her eyes as the edge of the dagger sealed her fate. He could only think of her and all the time they had lost and could never get back, feeling the guilt slowly consuming him as her body transformed into a pile of pink petals.

Geralt admired her face in the dim glow of the candlelight, thinking about how beautiful she looked tangled in the sheets beside him. Her hair spread across the pillow like a halo around her head and her smooth skin was covered with a light layer of sweat that gave her an almost ethereal glow. It felt like an illusion, a trick of his mind. He found it hard to believe he had someone like her lying next to him, looking at him with love in her eyes. 

It wasn't just her beauty. No. It was the peace her mere presence awakened in him and the void he felt in his chest when they were apart. It was the way he dreamed of her and her caresses every night he went to bed alone and how his longing disappeared when he felt her warmth against him as their bodies melted into one. It was the way her kisses made him feel like he was home, safe and away from the complications of the world outside the little paradise that was her forest. It was much more than physical attraction, more than the effects of her nymph charm, as he had initially thought. It was love. Pure, honest love, like he had never felt before. He was in love with her, and while he hadn't put it into words yet, he wasn't afraid to admit it.

Her fingers aroused a warm tingle as they caressed his cheek. Geralt leaned into it, closing his eyes for a second to appreciate the magic of the moment. It was amazing how such a subtle act, such a light touch, was able bring out so many emotions in him. It was something only she could do, a clear demonstration of how deep his feelings for her were.

However, when Geralt opened his eyes again, he didn't find the special glow he usually saw in them at intimate moments like this. She was looking straight at him, but it was as if she was looking right through him, as if her mind was lost in her thoughts. Something was bothering her, that much was clear in the green tint of her eyes. Her mouth would open slightly, almost in an imperceptible movement, only to close seconds later, as if there was something she wanted to tell him but couldn't quite bring herself to say. So he decided to ask her about it. 

"What's wrong?" Geralt voice was low and raspy with sleep, looking at her with a slight frown in confusion. There was a moment of silence before she answered. Her eyes never left his, but her hand slowly slid from his cheek to rest on his bare chest.

"I'm afraid of losing you." She eventually said, her voice almost a whisper. "You travel across the continent, meet all kinds of people... I'm afraid one day you will get bored of me... find someone better and leave me forever."

Geralt could not believe his ears. It was ridiculous to him that she could have such a fear of abandonment when he felt the way he did. If only she knew how happy being with her made him... If only he could somehow transfer his emotions to her so that she could feel his heart race when they kissed, or experience the peace that filled him inside every night when he lay down next to her... If only she knew, she wouldn't be having those kinds of thoughts. So, he took her hand in his and pressed it against the left side of his chest, right over where his heart was beating with love for her. She needed to know that she was the only one who had a permanent place there. She was the only one he loved and he doubted that would ever change.

"Believe me when I tell you that there is no force on this continent that can keep me away from you." He spoke in a soft voice and watched as her eyes lit up full of illusion. "I love you, forever and always."

He sealed his promise with a kiss, showing her with his lips how serious he was about it. He loved her and there was nothing he wanted to do more than to be with her for the rest of his life, sharing intimate moments like this one and protecting her from any evil that might come her way. He felt complete with her and could not imagine how miserable his life would be without her by his side.

Geralt allowed himself to get lost in the passion of the moment, fingers tracing trails over his beloved's bare skin as he melted into the kiss. It was different this time, more intimate and charged with all the emotions that were left unsaid —it was their special way of communicating, one kiss and they knew what was going through each other's minds. The comforting warmth of love filled his heart, leaving him in a state of total bliss as she whispered sweet nothings against his lips. He was happy in a way he could not remember ever being before, in a way he knew he could only be with her. 

But suddenly that comforting warmth that flooded his insides was replaced by a paralyzing cold, an emptiness that pressed against his chest and took his breath away. Geralt could no longer feel his beloved's lips against his. He could no longer smell the flowery scent her soft skin radiated or feel the warmth of her body. He was trapped in a black void, in emptiness itself, all alone. And in the distance he could hear his name being called.

Geralt

Geralt

Geralt

It was a cry for help, the voice of terror of someone who had been confronted with their own mortality. The voice trembled with fear, certain of the fatal fate that awaited them. Geralt could not escape its shrieks, no matter how hard he tried. It was his own personal hell, a void where he was forced to confront his pain, his guilt, and to listen again and again to his beloved's voice filled with terror as she spoke his name for the last time.

Geralt woke up tangled in the sheets, covered in a thin layer of cold sweat and breathing fast due to his nightmare. He lay in bed for a while, staring at the ceiling as he tried to pull himself together. His beloved's voice was still ringing in his ears, only that with every waking second it became more and more distant until it became an almost unintelligible whisper. Anguish and guilt weighed heavy on his chest, but he was used to that by now. The emptiness inside him had accompanied him every moment of his life since that unfortunate day. He could not escape the pain and regret he felt, it haunted him even when he closed his eyes at night. He could not even enjoy the peaceful ignorance in the mornings, when one's mind is too sleepy to process life's tragedies, because his nightmares would remind him of every painful detail of that day so that he could not rest.

At a time like this, when life had become so overwhelming that he was unable to sleep, he usually reached out to her. With her gentle touch and sweet voice she was always able to calm his tormented self, wash away the anger and frustration and replace it with love and calmness. But now she was gone and he didn't know how to go on. He missed her more than he thought it was possible to miss anyone. He missed the melodious sound of her laughter and the light in her eyes when she was happy. He missed waking up next to her in the mornings, feeling the warmth of her body enveloping him as she whispered good morning to him, her voice hoarse from sleep. He wished he could once again feel the soft caress of her lips on his and hear her say she loved him one more time. 

There was nothing Geralt wasn't willing to do to have her back with him, to be able to tell her how much he loved her and how he regretted leaving her. He had been an idiot to have given in to his desires for Yennefer. He should never have gotten involved with her, he should have let her own greed and obsession destroy her that day. He should have saved Jaskier and moved on with his life, after all Yennefer's problems were of no concern to him. But he could not resist his need to intervene, acting like a knight in shining armor instead of what he really was: a witcher. He made an impulsive decision, binding their destinies with magic and unknowingly triggering the death of his beloved. For if only he had been with her, if only he had stayed by her side to protect her as he had promised, he was sure things would be very different. She would still be alive and he would not be so miserable.

But Geralt was determined to make things right. He refused to let her die because of his mistakes. And looking at the cherry blossom tree growing outside his window, he knew the time was getting closer.

"I will fix this." He spoke to the tree, stroking the trunk with his hand as he sucked in a long breath of air. It smelled like her, a sweet scent mixed with the aroma of wood and wet earth. It ached and comforted him in equal amounts. "I will bring you back to me and I will keep my promise to you this time."

Geralt knew she was gone, but her essence was still alive in that tree. Born from the pink petals in which her body had withered when she died, it grew stronger with each day, keeping a fragment of her alive. Of course it was not her, but for now he was happy to make promises to the wind that its branches generated, clinging to the sweet scent of its flowers as the only sign that his words were well received by her. It was all he had, all he had left of her, and for now that was enough. He still wasn't sure how he would fulfill his promises or even where to begin. But he was sure of one thing, and that was that his love for her was stronger than fate itself and there was no force on the continent that could stop him from keeping his promise this time.

The solution to his dilemma presented itself almost by accident. And it came from the place Geralt least expected. He had spent the last few months visiting every library he had access to, reading every book and consulting with every expert he knew in his desperate search to find a way to bring his beloved back to life. But in the end, it was Jaskier who presented him with a solution in the form of a song. 

They were traveling on a back road after a successful job. The bard had offered to accompany him under the excuse that he needed new inspirations, but Geralt knew he was doing it because he didn't want to leave him alone. Jaskier knew the pain he felt and being the good friend he was he wanted to accompany him in mourning. Geralt appreciated him even if he didn't have the strength to say it in words. His light-hearted comments and meaningless ramblings were exactly what he needed to distract his tormented mind. Even his spontaneous singing at the worst possible moment cheered him up instead of irritating him as usual. Anything to help him concentrate on something else was welcomed.

They had been walking for hours, hoping to reach the next town before dark and sleep in a comfortable bed in a warm room and not in the middle of the forest again. They were quiet, only the chirping of birds and the sound of leaves crunching under their feet echoed in the air. They had run out of things to talk about an hour ago and Jaskier was starting to get bored. So he did what he always did when he found himself in that situation, sing. Only this time Geralt didn't recognize the verses as one of his own original songs. It was one he had not heard him sing before, so he paid attention.

It told the story of a young man that had managed to win the heart of a forest nymph with his beautiful singing. The connection they shared was so strong that they married shortly after meeting, in the same place where they first saw each other. Happiness and love filled their days for a few long and joyful months. That was until fate, jealous and bitter, stood in the way of their happiness. So, one morning, after being bitten by a snake, the young nymph died. Her beloved fell into a state of despair when he heard the tragic news. Unable to accept that his wife had been taken from his life without warning, he descended into the depths of the underworld to plead for her soul. The song narrated the difficulties of his journey and the perseverance with which he had faced each difficulty until he reached the lord of the underworld himself, to whom he tearfully begged for the return of his wife. The emotion in his words was such that he managed to move Hades, who gave in to his prayers. Although he imposed a condition: that he would not turn around to see his wife's soul following his steps until he left the underworld.

The story did not end well since the young man had been too eager and had turned to see his beloved before she was completely above ground. But Geralt didn't care about that somber detail. His attention was focused on the young man and his journey to the underworld, not only because he felt somehow connected to the emotions of sadness and despair he felt, but also because he was fairly certain he could recreate his heroic efforts.

"Are you crazy?" was Jaskier's reaction to hearing Geralt's idea, his voice raised in a tone of surprise and concern. "Haven't you heard the end of the song? Things go wrong! He doesn't get his wife back!"

“I know, but I don’t care.”

“Geralt, the story it’s just a myth… a tragic love story that one could say is a cautionary tale! You’re not supposed to follow in his footsteps, you’re supposed to learn to live with the grief, process your emotions and eventually move on… Look, I know this is hard for you. I miss her too… What happened to her wasn’t fair, but it wasn't your fault either. Blindly following the words of a myth is not going to change anything.”

“But it’s not a myth, not all of it at least.” Geralt recognized that the love story of the young man and the forest nymph might be an invention, but he knew of the existence of a door to the underworld. It was hidden and required great power and extensive knowledge of magic to be opened, but it was real. And fortunately for him, he knew one of the most powerful and skilled mages on the continent. Though convincing her to help him would not be an easy task given how things had ended between them.

"Why should I help you?" Yennefer said with annoyance in her voice when he showed up unannounced to ask for her help. It was clear that she did not enjoy the witcher's surprise visit and was not shy about showing it. "And more importantly, why are you asking for my help with something like this? I thought you of all people would know how dangerous opening the doors of the underworld is."

"Why do you care?" Geralt answered her with another question. To be honest, he didn't think the difficulties in getting her help would come from a moral issue. Yennefer was not the type of mage who cared too much about such things. "Are you in this or not?"

"That depends... what's in it for me? I hope you know I'm not going to waste my energy in helping you out of the goodness of my heart, not after all the shit you did." Geralt smiled at her remark, surprised that it had taken her so long to once again blurt out her complaints about him saving her life. She was still angry at him for linking their destinies with the wish to the Djinn and at this point he doubted she would ever get over it. 

"You get the once in a lifetime chance to traverse the underworld and possibly get knowledge beyond anyone's comprehension." He simply stated.

Yennefer was silent for a moment, watching Geralt intently, violet eyes piercing his yellow orbs. It alerted him to strengthen his mental shield to keep her from entering his thoughts. 

"When you live as long as I have, once in a lifetime opportunities start losing power and meaning."

"I'm offering you an opportunity to explore the unexplored and that's your answer? This could have all the answers you've spent years looking for and you're not interested?"

"Oh I'm interested, I just can't understand why Geralt of Rivia, the mighty witcher who prides in his indifference and ability to not intervene, would be interested in opening the gates to the underworld?"

"I have my reasons and they are not of your concern. Are you going to help me or not?"

Yennfer was silent for a moment, considering her options. And then, she smiled at him, and he knew he could count on her help.

Preparing for such an adventure was difficult. It was the first time in his life that Geralt did not know what to expect. He had no idea what he was going to encounter once they crossed the gates to the world of the dead. He didn't know what kind of obstacles he would encounter on the journey or if he would even accomplish his task. But he had to try. Even if it was the last thing he did, he owed it to her. 

It was difficult to prepare for the uncertain, so he tried to imagine all possible scenarios and prepare accordingly. He tried to be as meticulous as possible, but he knew it was impossible to stay on top of everything. What he never imagined, however, was that trouble would come from Yennefer's end. He always saw her as such a powerful and determined individual that he did not take into consideration that her energy could wear out and her magic could be consumed. Geralt had no way of really knowing how demanding the spell to open the gates of the underworld would be. He knew it was not something that just anyone could do, but he thought Yennefer could handle it without much trouble. He had never seen magic like hers. And what she lacked in skill, she made up for in stubbornness, so he thought that with her by his side things would not be so difficult.

However, the moment they took a step into the world of the dead, Yennefer fell weakly into the witcher's arms. She muttered something about having spent her energy and how the nature of the place did not allow her to pull herself together. Geralt suggested that she stay outside, after all, this wasn't her fight and she didn't have to risk so much for him. And at that instant, as if the walls were listening to them, the doors closed, leaving only one possible path.

The place was cold and dark, like a cave hidden deep in a mountain. There was not so much as a ray of sunlight, the little light that illuminated their way came from torches distributed along the stone walls. The air was heavy, stale, and it was hard to breathe. It was clear that this was no place for the living, but Geralt continued on his way despite the difficulties. He took Yennefer by the waist, letting her wrap one arm around his shoulders so she could walk, and followed the straight path that the torches seemed to indicate. At the end of the tunnel he came to a large river, and on the shore rested a boat. Inside it stood a hooded figure, long black robes covered its entire body in a way that Geralt could not see its face when it turned to look at them, only a void lost inside the hood.

"He's been waiting for you." The figure spoke, stepping aside so they could board the boat. Geralt hesitated, thinking back to all the catastrophic scenarios he had imagined in preparation for this moment. Surely that had to be a trap, things couldn't be that simple, could they?

"He wants to speak to you, Geralt of Rivia." The figure spoke again as it noticed the hesitation in the witcher's attitude. "He sent me to find you and ensure your safe passage through these waters." He did not trust it, but Yennefer pushed him into the boat with what little strength she had, so he had no other choice.

The dark figure did not utter another word. It went about its task in complete silence, paddling in the waters of oblivion until it brought them close to shore. It did not help them down once they reached their destination, nor did it open its mouth to give them directions. Just pointed a long, skeletal finger toward the horizon and set off the same way it had come. 

A dark, dead forest loomed before them. Long, thin tree trunks, nearly leafless branches and shabby bushes decorated the path. Everything seemed to be in shades of black and gray, though that was probably due to the lack of sun. In the distance a structure could be seen, a castle whose colors matched the rest of the landscape. Although the neat and polished appearance of its exterior contrasted with the disheveled and dead environment around it. It was clear that that was where they should go, so Geralt took Yennefer in his arms once more and set off on his way. 

There was not much distance separating them from the castle, but the witcher felt as if he had spent an eternity walking. And yet, at the same time, when he reached the large wooden gates, he was amazed to have reached his destination so quickly.  His perception of time was totally altered, affected by the atmosphere of the place.  Time did not flow there in the same way as it did on the surface. It was as if it was both stopped and accelerated all at once, as if each step took hours and at the same time a couple of seconds. It was more than the absence of sunlight confusing his perception. It was the way things worked in that place, a world separate from the one lying on the surface that he was not supposed to access.

The man who appeared in front of them when the doors opened on their own was imposing, but far less frightening than Geralt expected. It was enough to look into his eyes to know that he was the person in charge of the place. Power shone in his eyes in the same way the witcher had seen it in the kings in the world of the living. And yet, there was something unique about them, something that made it clear that he was no mere mortal. Geralt knew better than to challenge him, though he wasn't sure his emotions would allow him to be cautious if things didn't go as he hoped.

"I've been waiting for you, witcher." the god said in a loud, clear voice. "I'm surprised it took you this long to find me."

Geralt was not pleased to learn that he had been waiting for him. He had imagined it might be a possibility, but he thought the god would use that knowledge to stop him. The fact that he welcomed him without trials or difficulties, sending his people to look for him and opening the doors of his home to him without hesitation, made him suspicious.  For all he knew, it could all be a trap.

"Oh don't flatter yourself, witcher! I have far more important things to do than to set you up." The god spoke as if reading his thoughts. 

"You knew I was coming?" Geralt managed to say and the god nodded.

"And most importantly, I know why you are here. I knew you were going to find your way here the second she came in."

The mere mention of his beloved in the conversation had Geralt's heart racing, a gesture of both love and anxiety. He felt Yennefer's eyes on him, watching him with furrowed brows as she tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together. She knew of his former lover, the forest nymph he had abandoned after their destinies were linked, and he had no doubt that she would understand what was happening in just a second, but he didn't care. All he wanted was to have her back.

"So, I'm assuming you know why I'm here."

"I do, yes. And I will not be opposing to your wishes, Geralt of Rivia. I knew from the first moment that this was not her time and I am willing to give her another chance to live out her destiny without surprise interruptions from magic... However, I do have one condition."

"And you say it was not a trap..."

"It is not! It is just a simple... exchange."

"An exchange of what?"

The god paused, taking his moment to answer.

"Souls are complex things, Geralt. Very powerful, very strong... I can't just let one walk out of here."

"Why not? You have plenty here."

"It's a matter of balance, I don't expect you to understand that. But, if you want your dear nymph back, you'll have to give me a soul in return."

Geralt was silent for a moment, carefully analyzing his situation. After all the work it had taken him to get there, he didn't plan to leave empty-handed. But he also didn't want to condemn an innocent soul who had nothing to do with his mistakes. So he knew exactly what he had to do.

"Fine," the witcher agreed. "Take me then. My soul for hers, it's only fair."

Yennefer tugged on his arm, ready to argue with him —thinking he was acting like an idiot by offering his life as if it was nothing—, but was interrupted before she could open her mouth by the laughter of the god in front of them.

"It's a nice gesture, but your soul isn't nearly powerful enough. It's better than an ordinary human’s soul, I'll give you that, but she's a nymph. Do you have any idea how much energy her soul contains?"

"Then name your price." Geralt said. He wasn't necessarily going to give in to his demands, but he figured it didn't hurt to learn what the god's wishes were.

"To be honest, I don't think you can get a soul of such power... however, you do have access to one that is quite close." Geralt didn't like the suggestive tone in the god's voice. And he liked it even less when his eyes fell on Yennefer as he finished the sentence.

"No!" The witcher declared as he understood the intentions behind those words. He had brought Yennefer with him to help him open the portal and nothing else. He refused to sacrifice one more life. No one else had to suffer because of his stupid decisions.

"She wouldn't suffer." The god spoke after glancing at Geralt's thoughts. "She doesn't even have to be dead, she just has to stay here with me."

"I don’t care. We're not doing this."

"Why don't you let her decide?" The god said, resting his eyes on Yennefer's violet ones. "It is a good deal. You get your lover back and she gets-"

"She gets imprisoned here forever." Geralt interrupted and the god looked at him wearily.

"She gets to be the most powerful madge in history, sitting by my side ruling the underworld... isn't that what you always wanted, Yennefer of Vengerberg, to have power beyond imaginable? What's more powerful than deciding between life and death?"

Geralt snorted at such words, finding the god's tricks very ineffective. But when he looked back at Yennefer, she had a look in her eyes that made him doubt. "You're not seriously considering his proposal, aren't you?" he approached her, speaking in a lower tone of voice so as not to be heard by the god.

"If we leave now then we traveled this far for nothing. Don't you want to get her back?"

"No if it means hurting innocent people. You have nothing to do with this."

"Except I do since the moment you made that srupid wish."

"I didn't save your life then just to leave you here now."

"You're not leaving me, I'm choosing to stay."

"You don't have to do this, Yennefer." Geralt's voice became softer. She seemed quite sure of her decision and he knew it would not be easy to persuade her otherwise, but he had to try. He didn't like the idea of leaving her behind, of sacrificing her in favor of his own happiness. 

"Oh, please! I'm not doing this just for you. I usually don't like to waste my time and energy just to end up empty handed. I came here because, as you said, it was an opportunity to find the answers I've been looking for. So why don't you worry about you and let me worry about myself?"

Yennefer rolled her eyes. And while she wasn't lying and really had interests of her own in that place, Geralt really was a big part of the reason she wanted to accept the god's offer. There was something in his eyes, the sparkle of true love, that shone every time he thought of his departed lover. It was something she had never noticed in his eyes when he looked at her. It was clear that what they had was real, it softened her hardened and withering heart, and gave her hope that love was real. Though of course, she would never admit that to Geralt. 

The witcher growled under his breath, clenching his jaw. Even though part of him didn't like the idea of leaving Yennefer behind, he couldn't help but feel somewhat relieved to hear those words. If she wanted to stay there for her own selfish reasons, then accepting the god's proposal was much easier on his conscience. 

"Are you sure about this?" He asked her once more, giving her one last chance to back out. 

Yennefer shrugged. "I lived a long time among the living, had my good share of adventures... maybe it's time to try my luck in the underworld. "

That answer was good enough for Geralt. He accepted the god's proposal, exchanging Yennefer's soul for that of his beloved nymph. She would stay in the underworld with him and in return Geralt would get a second chance with his lover. The god instructed him to return home and assured him that when he arrived, her soul would already be back in her birth tree.

As he made his way back, the thought that the god was tricking him crossed his mind. He realized that he really had nothing to assure him that he would keep his word. For all he knew, this could have been a strange move by the god to get to Yennefer and her powers for some reason he did not know. Perhaps he was being used as a pawn in a larger chess game that he did not know he was part of. Perhaps he had unleashed a terrible evil upon the continent without realizing it.

But then he felt it. 

The sweet scent of flowers assaulted his nostrils the moment he set foot in the forest. It was strong, much stronger than it had been in a long time. He noticed then that everything looked greener and more alive, every flower, bush and plant glowing in the warm sunlight in a way that they didn't when he left. Even the birds seemed to sing louder and more cheerfully. 

Geralt ran to the cherry blossom tree he had been tending for what had felt like an eternity. His heart was racing with every step he took, not from the physical effort, but from the anticipation. The hope of seeing her again was what had kept him sane since that horrible day he had lost her. All this time he had thought it was impossible, an illusion that only served to keep him on his feet until the pain subsided. But now it was a reality, and he had so many emotions swirling inside him that he didn't know exactly what to feel.

Suddenly, his eyes came upon a figure on the horizon. It was partially blocked by the rays of sunlight that kept him from seeing clearly, so he picked up his pace to get closer. Little by little the figure revealed itself in front of him, until it became clear to him that the one who was walking around the forest, picking flowers and petting the animals, was her. 

She looked as beautiful as he remembered her, with her long hair blowing in the wind and a sweet smile on her face. It was as if time had never passed, as if that horrible day and the pain that her death had unleashed had been just a bad dream. It was as if he had never lost her.

Geralt stopped in his tracks as his eyes fell on hers, paralyzed by the emotions coursing through him. All this time he had dreamed of this moment and now that he had her only a few feet away he didn't know how to react. His eyes blurred with tears, but he caught a glimpse of his beloved's figure running to him before he felt the warmth of her body in his arms. He held her tighter than he ever had, pulling her against his chest as a way of both making sure she was real and that she couldn't pull away from him.

"You came for me." She muttered, melting into the embrace. Her memory was somewhat fuzzy, but she remembered clearly the moment when the blade of the dagger had caressed her neck. She remembered how it had felt and the horror in Geralt's eyes as she fell into his arms, taking her last breaths. She remembered his words of comfort and his promise to make things right, as if he actually could. She still didn't understand how she was back there, but she knew it was Geralt she had to thank for her second chance at life. Somehow, he had found a way to bring her back, she was sure of that.

"I'll always come back for you." 

The kiss they shared was unlike any other. It was passionate and desperate, yet soft and tender. It was charged with all the emotions that had been left unsaid between them, sadness, regret, longing, but, above all, love. They felt that spark the moment their lips brushed, just like in the old days. Geralt hadn't realized how much he had missed feeling her soft lips on his until that moment. He allowed himself to get lost in the joy he felt, letting the warmth of her body against his slowly remove the traces of sadness and pain that had haunted him all this time.

They remained in each other's arms for a long time, enjoying the moment they had both been longing for so long. It was just him, her and the chirping of birds in the trees. Breathing in the floral scent of her hair, Geralt knew that the gray days were behind him. Gone were the guilt and the pain, the sleepless nights and the cold mornings without his beloved. She was back by his side, just as she always should have been. And he was more than happy for the new beginning he had with her. A new chance to make things right, to honor his word and keep his promise, just as he should have done from the beginning. He was ashamed that he had had to lose her to realize how big his mistake had been, but now that he had her back he wasn't going to let her go. His love had proven to be stronger than everything, even death itself.

[chiqelatasblog]

In the Middle Of the Night🌙

-> Ao3 link is here.

-> Part Two is here.

-> Part Four is here.

Pairings : Bi-Han/ Sub-Zero x You, Kuai Liang/ Scorpion x You, Tomas Vrbada/ Smoke x You

Author’s Note : This chapter spans over 12,000 words as Kuai Liang unravels his story, and I’m quite pleased with the result. I hope you’ll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. However, I want to provide a heads-up about a couple of sensitive topics covered in this chapter: food deprivation and references to past sexual abuse.

.

.

.

These burning flames, these crashing waves,

Wash over me like a hurricane.

I'll captivate, you're hypnotized,

Feel powerful, but it's me again.

CHAPTER THREE : KUAI LIANG

Kuai Liang had protected his heart well throughout his life.

He had learned to control his powers at a very young age. Compared to his older brother, he was more capable of destroying powers and creating serious dangers instantly if left unchecked. Hence, he had to master the art of composure and patience, ensuring his emotions remained tempered. As a pyromancer, fire was less forgiving than ice; even a small mishap could have serious consequences and quickly destroy whatever stood in its way.

As the Grandmaster’s son, Kuai Liang shouldered heavier responsibilities within their clan due to the hierarchical structure. This framework not only limited his interactions but also instilled a fear of accidentally harming others with his powers. Despite his efforts to erect emotional barriers for the safety of those around him, he struggled internally and envied his brothers. Unlike him, Bi-Han always has an intimidating aura around him, his icy powers reflecting his demeanor as he effortlessly distanced himself from others. In contrast, Tomas initially grappling with the loss of his own family, he eventually warmed up to others, radiating a friendly and approachable demeanor.

As they were sealed inside the book, they found themselves drifting apart. Bi-Han grew colder, even to him, while Tomas’s once bright eyes dimmed, reminiscent of the day they discovered him at the clan borders, drenched in the blood of his family, wearing a vacant expression. Kuai Liang became the conduit between his brothers, as the curse slowly consumed them from within.

Especially when she summoned them, that’s when everything spiraled downward. Kuai Liang didn’t realize the depth of their descent until they were already submerged in it, despite having endured so much already.

‘‘I told them that you could satisfy them, Kuai Liang. There are only five of them, you’re not going to mislead me, are you? I’m sure you’ll get over it.’’

His master’s hands rested on his shoulders, her lustily muffled breath tickling his ear, while Kuai Liang endeavored to remain still, his expression carefully blank. Standing naked before a vast, round bed swathed in luxurious satin sheets, he felt a prickling sensation crawl across his skin under the scrutinizing gaze of the small group gathered before him. The room glowed with the warm flicker of candles of various sizes, their dancing flames casting intricate patterns on the walls. A crackling fire burned in the nearby fireplace, its radiant heat almost overwhelming him, despite fire being his element. The intense warmth caused his skin to feel hot and sweaty, everything feeling too much at the moment.

The group, nestled on dark red satin sheets, observed him with a mix of curiosity and hunger, their whispers filling the air with anticipation. The heavy scent of aphrodisiac permeated the room, emanating from the candles—a deliberate attempt to set the mood, given Kuai Liang’s inability to do so himself.

Leilani, his master, coiled the chain of his collar around her fingers, the cold metal sending a shiver down his spine as she obediently lowered his head. She captured his lower lip between her teeth, biting down with a force that bordered on painful, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from him. Despite the discomfort, he remained stoic, his gaze unwavering as blood trickled down to his chin in a thin stream. A smirk of pleasure adorned Leilani’s lips as she licked the blood smeared on his lip with the tip of her tongue, savoring the metallic tang, before delicately tracing the blood trail on his chin with soft, deliberate licks.

“Don’t embarrass me, slave,” she remarked coldly.

As Kuai Liang managed to open his eyes with a ragged breath, everything appeared blurry at first. He felt a faint coolness on his forehead, his body weighed down by an unbearable ache in every muscle. With teeth clenched in pain, he struggled to regain focus.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” a soft, unfamiliar voice reached his ears, distinct from the nightmare he had just endured. Despite the heaviness of his eyelids, Kuai Liang managed to blink them open. As his vision cleared, your figure came into view. Whatever expression crossed his face, you spoke in a gentle, understanding tone.

“It’s okay, Kuai Liang. You’re safe, you’re in my house, remember?”

Your words triggered images to flood into his mind. He was out of the book, but when? How long had he been lying like this? His body throbbed with pain, suggesting he had been immobile for some time.

“Your throat must be quite dry. Wait, I’ll get you some water.”

Kuai Liang propped himself up with his elbows, wincing at the protest of his aching muscles. He watched as you poured water into a glass from a nearby jug and carefully sat down beside him.

“Here, let me put a pillow behind you to make you more comfortable.”

As you placed a pillow to support his back, Kuai Liang drew a deep breath, finally able to sit upright. Even this simple movement caused his muscles to rebel. Silently, you handed him the glass of water to drink. Kuai Liang grasped the cup with his numb fingers, feeling a surge of life as the cool water flowed down his parched throat. He finished the water in one go, thirst quenched like a desert traveler finding an oasis. When you refilled the glass and offered it again, he drank more slowly this time, savoring the refreshing liquid. Once his mouth felt moist enough to speak, Kuai Liang asked in a hoarse, wheezy voice, unused to speaking after days of silence.

“How many days have I been in bed?”

“It’s been a week,” you said in a kind voice, refilling his glass with water for the third time. Kuai Liang’s eyes widened slightly in surprise.

“A week?”

“Yes, your brothers tried not to show it, but they were worried about you,” you said with a sweet smile. “But they had complete faith in you that you would get through this.”

“Where are they?” Kuai Liang asked as he took another sip from the glass. The water felt like medicine, satiating the last embers of fever that had spread from his lungs to his entire body, gradually calming him down.

“Bi-Han went out until about an hour ago. Tomas is sleeping in the living room.”

Kuai Liang couldn’t be sure he had heard the last part correctly. Tomas? Sleeping? How was this possible? Since the day they were sealed in the book, Tomas had always struggled to fall asleep. He fought insomnia, afraid of returning to the eternal darkness, and tried to cope by taking short naps whenever he could. Hearing that he was sleeping now didn’t sound convincing to Kuai Liang at all.

“Of his own accord?” Kuai Liang said, his voice filled with doubt and disbelief. Despite his frown, his expression remained composed. There was an understanding in your gaze, indicating you comprehended his reaction.

“Yes, it’s quite early for him to wake up, but if you want to see him, I can wake him up.”

“No, there’s no need.” Kuai Liang quickly opposed the idea. If Tomas managed to sleep, he wouldn’t want to disturb him. He knew how rare this situation was and wanted his brother to take advantage of it.

“Are you hungry? I made you some porridge so you could eat comfortably. I can heat it up and bring it if you want.”

Though Kuai Liang was once again surprised, he tried not to let it show too much on his face. His eyebrows furrowed slightly, a sign of his guard being raised. Had you prepared a meal for him, Kuai Liang wondered? The notion seemed as peculiar as Tomas managing to sleep. The only logical explanation he could muster was that you intended to ask for something in return for the food. After all, he had been bedridden for a week, too weak to follow orders. Ironically, it only took a simple command from you to spur him into action. You didn’t need to prepare anything in exchange. Yet, it was easier this way—to diminish their pride, as many masters before you had relished doing.

Despite having woken up, Kuai Liang’s body still felt weak. It was a challenge for him to muster the strength to prepare something for himself in order to regain his energy. Upon waking, his stomach stirred, reminding him of how hungry he truly was. With a metabolism faster than that of a normal person, he often found himself needing to consume more food. His old masters had exploited this trait, subjecting him to hunger tests and various trials to gauge his endurance. Through those experiences, Kuai Liang had learned the limits of hunger all too well.

“If you don’t like porridge, I can make soup or something different,” you said, your voice slightly faltering with the lengthening silence. Realizing Kuai Liang hadn’t answered, he pulled himself out of his thoughts and spoke hesitantly, choosing his words carefully.

“The porridge is fine. I prefer to eat it cold… I believe I’m warmed enough.’’

Your face unexpectedly brightened at his answer, and you stood up, a smile returning to your face.

“Great! Wait here, I’ll be right back. I’m sure you’ll feel better after eating.”

As you quickly left the room, Kuai Liang remained where he was leaning, trying to make sense of what had just happened. His tired gaze wandered around the room, realizing he wasn’t in the living room. It was your bedroom, filled with your personal belongings. Despite the open window airing the room, there was a faint, vaguely sweet smell that defined you, a scent he could only describe as feminine.

His gaze shifted to the thin blanket half pulled over him. As his fingers grazed the fabric, he tried to remember how he got here, but his memories were blurred. He could barely recall the conversations with Tomas and Bi-Han. All he could do was try to hold himself together at the moment. He felt as if he were burning with such intensity that he thought he would be reduced to ashes. While the fire consumed his body, he hadn’t experienced such a severe one before. He had never lost consciousness, although it always took him a long time to fully come to his senses after emerging from the book, unlike his brothers.

As you re-entered, Kuai Liang was snapped out of his thoughts, watching as you handed him the tray with a kind smile.

“Here you go, I hope you like it.”

Kuai Liang steadied the tray on his lap, gradually quelling the tremors in his hands. His gaze fell upon the bowl of porridge, its steam rising in wisps, teasing his nostrils with its warmth. His stomach clenched with a pang of hunger, urging him to devour the meal. With each passing moment, the gnawing sensation intensified, Kuai Liang dipped his spoon into the porridge to alleviate the relentless ache.

The porridge was cold, as you hadn’t heated it up as he requested and it was exactly what his body needed. With the first spoonful, he was taken aback by its unexpected deliciousness. While porridge was typically bland and unremarkable to him, the one you made was surprisingly rich in flavor. The chicken broth mingled seamlessly with the rice, enhanced by the spices you added, making it not only palatable but enjoyable to eat.

“Kuai Liang,” you chuckled softly, your voice triggering a strange sensation in his stomach, distinct from hunger. Turning his gaze to you, he was met with your gentle expression. “You should eat slowly. It’s been a while since you’ve eaten, and you’ll make your stomach uncomfortable at this rate. There’s a pot full of porridge still, so don’t worry.”

As the food settled in his stomach, Kuai Liang finished his mouthful and took a sip of water before speaking. Thankfully, his bronze skin hid the faint warmth creeping into his cheeks at your words. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this hungry; it was as if his strength would ebb away entirely if he didn’t eat, as if the gnawing feeling in his stomach would consume his entire body.

Due to his fast metabolism, he had to eat constantly to survive and keep his body fit and agile. His previous masters had exploited this weakness, subjecting him to tests of endurance. He was a fighter, refusing to surrender without a struggle. Over time, Kuai Liang had learned to endure hunger for extended periods, gritting his teeth against the relentless pain in his stomach.

One of the perpetual side effects of the book was to maintain their physical appearance, like a perfect gift always on display. Despite the hardships they faced, their bodies remained unchanged from when they were first sealed in the book. Their skin remained firm and devoid of signs of aging, while their muscles remained taut and defined.

Though he felt powerless due to the lack of proper nourishment, Kuai Liang avoided showing weakness to the outside world, especially to the master of the book at the time. His brothers had been his biggest support. While Bi-Han and Tomas often shared their food with him, Kuai Liang initially tried to refuse their help. Ultimately, they all needed sustenance to endure and find a solution to their nightmare. Even though Bi-Han could go days without eating, Kuai Liang didn’t want him to endure the same deprivation.

“Thank you,” Kuai Liang said after a while. “That’s enough for me.”

Your furrowed eyebrows revealed your disbelief. “You’ve been sleeping for days, Kuai Liang. From what I’ve learned from your brothers, considering your metabolic rate, you need to eat at least four servings from that bowl, not to mention your body size. If you don’t like it, I can make something else, but you definitely need to eat. I don’t want you walking around hungry.” you insisted, your voice laced with concern.

Kuai Liang probably looked at you with surprise, though he managed to conceal it on his face. What? Your innocent tone and facial expression seemed to support each other seamlessly. Obviously, you didn’t know anything about his past, and he didn’t expect his brothers to say anything about it. You hadn’t ordered them to gather any information either.

“No, the porridge is fine, thank you,” Kuai Liang tried to smoothly continue. “Can I have more?”

“Of course!” Your smile widened, your whole face lighting up with joy as if the sun had risen upon you. Kuai Liang felt that strange ache again as he looked at you. “I thought you’d never ask!”

***

After Kuai Liang finished all the food in the pot and took a cold shower, he felt refreshed. His body was free from the days’ accumulated sweat, his stubble shaved, and his hair pulled back neatly. It was a strange feeling to have a full stomach, having forgotten what it felt like. Yet, there was a sense of peace within him. A weight had lifted, quieting the constant alertness that had consumed him for so long.

Arriving at the entrance of the living room, Kuai Liang encountered Bi-Han in the narrow hallway. His brother scrutinized him in silence from head to toe, assessing if he was well enough to stand.

“You look well,” said Bi-Han, his voice barely audible. “Do you feel as well as you look?”

“Yes, brother,” Kuai Liang replied, forcing a small smile to accompany his words. “How are you and Tomas? Was there anything I missed in a week?”

Bi-Han fell silent for a moment, nodding towards the study room adjacent to the bedroom. Kuai Liang followed his brother quietly into the room, and Bi-Han closed the door behind them, lowering his voice despite its depth.

“Tomas has begun to lose himself to the woman,” Bi-Han’s words filled the room with an icy chill. Kuai Liang observed his brother’s stern expression, which conveyed his displeasure with the situation. Despite their painful past and Tomas’s training as an assassin by the Lin Kuei, his inherent naivety had persisted, a trait Kuai Liang had always found unique. His brother lacked a judgmental nature, easily believing whatever he was told.

Since their time in the book, Tomas had changed like the rest of them. Whoever became the master of the book, Tomas obeyed them almost flawlessly, swiftly fulfilling orders and expectations. Kuai Liang soon understood why – it was the same as when he was trying to adhere to the Lin Kuei. He had no choice but to comply in order to survive in this new world where he didn’t know the rules. Yet, there was one person who made Tomas hesitate, offering a glimmer of hope in their dark world and suggesting that the cycle could be broken.

“How so?” Kuai Liang asked, his voice tinged with disbelief.

“You heard me.” Bi-Han replied.

“Like what happened with Leilani?”

“It may be even worse than that,” Bi-Han snarled, his face contorting with rage at the mention of their old master’s name. ‘’The speed at which she’s manipulated him is unprecedented.”

“How is that possible? Tomas was cautious after what happened.”

“You haven’t spent time with the woman. She offers him everything he desires, and he willingly accepts. They’re always together, laughing, touching, kissing. It’s all by his own consent.”

“What? Are you sure?”

“You know how long it took him to recover after Leilani. If this woman can make this much progress in a week, imagine what will happen when we return to the book in three months.”

“Wait a minute,” Kuai Liang tried to digest the information, pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a deep breath. “She told me that… Is it true that Tomas is sleeping of his own accord?’’

“Yes,” Bi-Han confirmed, his anger palpable.

‘’Damn it,” Kuai Liang muttered, running a hand over his head in frustration. All three of them harbored an aversion to darkness, but for Tomas, it went beyond mere dislike—it was pure loathing. He avoided closing his eyes for extended periods and fought against sleep as much as possible. The fact that he could now sleep next to you, in his most vulnerable state, only heightened Bi-Han’s concerns. Tomas had never revealed this side to anyone, not even to the master of all the books that had come and gone, except Leilani. Yet, even Leilani took a considerable amount of time to witness this aspect, setting a new record compared to their previous experiences.

“I’ve been constantly warning him to get it into his thick head and not trust the woman, but he doesn’t listen to me. Go talk to him, try to stop him from getting any more attached. Maybe your moderate approach will ring a bell for him.”

“If the situation is as serious as you say, brother, I don’t think Tomas will listen to me either.”

“Well, what shall we do then? Shall we allow his feelings to be manipulated, humiliated, and used again? We’ve been through this once, Kuai Liang, and I swore it wouldn’t happen again,” Bi-Han’s voice was as cold and harsh as winter itself, his demanding gaze piercing through him like a blade.

“Okay, I’ll talk to him.”

Taking another deep breath, Kuai Liang exited the room, silently following the voices until he reached the entrance of the living room. Both of you were engrossed in examining a pile of books on the kitchen island, your conversation too hushed for him to make out. However, judging by the expressions on your faces, you appeared to be in good spirits. Shifting his focus entirely to his brother, Kuai Liang comprehended Bi-Han’s concerns more clearly.

There was a calmness in Tomas’s expression that Kuai Liang hadn’t seen in a long time, almost peaceful. It was a departure from his usual artificial and distant smile, a sign of his increasing pessimism over the years. Despite his youth, his face carried a weight beyond his years, rivaling even Bi-Han’s gloominess.

The way he’s watching you now, with one hand casually supporting his chin and a subtle smile playing on his lips, rather than being absorbed in the book before him, is very different from what he’s used to. He would never have imagined it if he hadn’t seen it for himself. Seeing his brother carefree and relaxed, just like old times, filled Kuai Liang with concern instead of contentment. Bi-Han was right; Tomas had gotten carried away with you, and from what he observed, the situation was much more serious than he thought.

“Do you understand what I mean now?” Bi-Han’s voice came from right behind him, close enough for Kuai Liang to feel his cool breath on his neck. Kuai Liang didn’t say anything. After silently nodding in agreement, he stepped in, and you both snapped out of the peaceful bubble you had created upon noticing his arrival.

“Kuai Liang, good morning! I heard you were up, but you were in the shower when I got up. How do you feel? Are you better?” Tomas greeted him in a somewhat cheerful voice. Now that he could see him up close, Kuai Liang could discern the details better. While his pale face should have been marked with dark circles due to his usual insomnia, Tomas’s face had a lightness that indicated he had a good sleep. There were no stress lines, and his dull gray eyes were bright and sharp, as if life had returned to them.

Kuai Liang still found it hard to believe the change that had occurred in such a short time. He answered Tomas’s question in a flat voice,“Yes, I feel much better now.” To divert Tomas’s attention and avoid probing further, he turned his gaze to the books you were examining. “What are you doing?”

“We’re looking for a solution to break the curse,” you intervened in a soft voice. “I found these books in the library; I thought maybe there might be something useful in them.” Your gaze shifted from him to the notebook in front of you, scribbling something that he couldn’t read from this distance. “We’ve tried several solutions so far, but none of them have worked.”

“What were the things you tried?”

“Well, I tried to buy a small bottle of holy water from a church nearby and bless the book. When that didn’t work, I read somewhere that a little blood and certain prayers could be effective in breaking the curse, so I tried that this time.”

You raised your left hand and showed him your palm, revealing a long, thin cut running from the little finger to the thumb. Judging by the look of the cut, it seemed to have been at least a few days old. Kuai Liang was surprised that you had hurt yourself for them, but his astonishment faded when he reminded himself that this was likely part of the deception.

“You said burning didn’t work, but I tried it again to explore every possibility. Besides that, there’s actually another method that comes to my mind; there are people who specialize in breaking curses. Normally, I didn’t really believe in such things, but after all this, I’m considering every possibility now. I don’t know how we can explain this whole thing to them, but maybe I can ask them for help. If I can’t break the curse, at least they can guide us.”

“I don’t know how much more we have to tell you to make you understand.” Bi-Han’s voice interrupted as he entered the living room. Kuai Liang observed you shift in your seat anxiously, while Tomas subtly straightened his posture in a protective manner. “You can’t break Quan Chi’s curse with such ridiculous things. If it were that easy, we wouldn’t be here right now.”

“I know, but—”

“Stop this game,” Bi-Han interjected, his tone growing impatient. Although you tried not to show your uneasiness, you shifted again, and your hands clenched into fists on the counter, uncertain of what to do.

“What game?” You asked in a soft yet timid voice. “I’m just trying to help.”

“Unwanted help would only be an imposition. There’s no one here who wants your help. Is that so hard to understand, or are you really daft?”

As Tomas quickly rose from his seat, the chair made a painful squeal against the floor. “Bi-Han! Take back your words.”

“Do you realize who you are defending from whom?” Bi-Han growled, his demeanor emanating a threatening coldness, yet there was a determination in Tomas’s stance that he would not back down from his statement. Although Kuai Liang still couldn’t decipher how things had escalated to this point in just a week, he intervened to diffuse the situation before it escalated further.

“Guys-”

However, you acted before him, placing one hand on Tomas’s arm and drawing his attention back very easily, as if you had pressed a button.

“It’s all right, Tomas,” you said in a kind voice.

“But-”

“It’s alright,” your voice was still gentle, but there was also a certainty that emphasized the words. “There’s no harm, I’m fine.” After gently patting him on the arm, you continued to talk, focusing your gaze on one point rather than turning to them. On the other hand, you got up from where you were sitting and started picking up the mess on the counter. “I have a job interview, I won’t be here for a few hours. I’ll be back before sundown.” Just before closing your notebook, you suddenly turned your head to Kuai Liang as if something had occurred to you. “Oh, I almost forgot. On my way back, I’ll stop by the grocery store and shop for a few necessities for home. Is there a dish you like?”

Kuai Liang was stunned by this unexpected question. “A dish I like?” he echoed, his brows furrowing and incredulity evident in his voice. Despite the tension that just happened, you still answered his question with a small smile that you managed to put on your face.

“Yes. I want to make a meal that you like to celebrate your recovery; I’m sure you’ll feel better.”

***

“Why do you have to keep being rude?” As Tomas paced angrily around the room, Bi-Han lounged on a single sofa, spreading his legs in a relaxed manner that suggested he was indifferent to the situation. Kuai Liang observed the two of them, sensing a tingling at the nape of his neck—a foreboding sign of the headache that was about to enter his head.

“I’m tired of explaining, but you’re still not tired of asking same questions. I can actually understand why you’re getting along with her so well; you’re both terribly insistent on not understanding.”

“You’re only acting like a bully by being rude to someone who doesn’t deserve it,” said Tomas, as he stopped pacing and stood in front of Bi-Han. Bi-Han tilted his head back slightly, maintaining eye contact with Tomas and quietly responding to his challenge. While it was common for the two of them to struggle to find common ground and for Kuai Liang to act as mediator, this confrontation felt different. Tomas was resolute in his determination to protect you, leading him to confront Bi-Han. The presence of someone unfamiliar getting under his brother’s skin was evident. Kuai Liang found himself straddling the line between frustration over the situation and concern for Tomas.

“She’s already wrapped you around her finger. Just like Leilani-”

“Don’t mention her name,” Tomas interjected, his voice unusually harsh. “There is a difference between them; she is a really nice person. Is it that hard to believe?”

“And so you’ve figured it out in a short period of time, like a week. Congratulations to you. I wish you could really hit it this time compared to last time.”

“Bi-Han-”

When Kuai Liang rose to intervene with a warning tone, Tomas acted before him and grabbed Bi-Han with a rustle, at a speed that even Bi-Han could not decipher.

“Do you know what your problem is? You’re a coward.”

“Tomas-”

“Let him finish, Kuai Liang,” said Bi-Han, his voice eerily calm.

“You’re afraid to trust, aren’t you? That’s why you’re like this; you don’t want to let anyone near you through your arrogant walls.”

Tomas’ words hung heavily in the air, a tense silence covering the room as his words echoed on the walls. Bi-Han’s expression was illegible, but Kuai Liang could feel the anger boiling under the surface. After all, he knew his brother well enough to understand when his boundaries were being pushed.

“You think you understand everything, don’t you?” Bi-Han retorted, his voice piercingly cold. “You, who wear your heart on your sleeve, dare to juge me?”

“I’m not judging you; I’m just stating the truth.” After Tomas finished his words, he released Bi-Han and left the room in a cloud of smoke. Kuai Liang heard the faint click of the study door closing nearby.

“You’re going at him too hard,” He said with a sigh. “Even if he has an interest in her, don’t turn it into spite with your approach.”

‘’Do you think it’s up to my approach? Just look at him, he’s already under her spell.’’ Bi-Han argued.

‘’Even so, he is our brother. He needs our support. Stop setting him against you.’’

‘’He is the one who confronted us for the woman.’’

‘’You’re the one who triggered it,’’ Kuai Liang said, his patience wearing thin. ‘’Go get some air, collect your thoughts. I’ll take care of Tomas.’’

‘’Give him some mind.’’

Due to the small size of the house, Kuai Liang easily left the living room behind. When he reached the study, he softly opened the door and entered. Tomas stood a little further away, in front of the window, arms crossed, watching outside silently. He spoke in a dry voice without turning his head, even though he heard Kuai Liang’s approach.

‘’If you’re going to say the same things as Bi-Han, don’t bother at all.’’

“We are both thinking only of your well-being, Tomas.’’

“Come on, Kuai Liang, I’d rather you speak for yourself,’’ Tomas retorted. Kuai Liang gently placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder. Tomas didn’t push it away, but he still didn’t turn his head, his gaze fixed outside, his expression tense, the muscle on his chin clearly showing that he was angry about what had happened.

‘’You know Bi-Han, he may seem cold from the outside, but you know as well as I that he cares, he just fails to show it.’’

“Okay, maybe there’s some merit to his worries, but she didn’t do anything to deserve it, the only thing she’s shown us since the moment we came out of the book is just kindness, Kuai Liang. Thanks to her, I can sleep. You know too well what this means to me.’’ Tomas finally met his eyes, sincerity evident in his gaze. ‘‘I want you to give her a chance.’’

“Tomas-‘’

“I know you don’t trust her, but trust me,” his brother said, his voice tinged with a plea. “I understand I’m asking too much, but if you give her a chance, you’ll understand what I meant.”

Kuai Liang was at a loss for words. Tomas was more attached than he thought. Trust? He should have known that this was not possible, especially after what happened to them and the memories that still haunted his nightmares… He decided to drop the subject for now, it was clear they wouldn’t get anywhere if this matter dragged on.

When Kuai Liang initiated a small conversation to find out what had been going on for a week, Tomas set aside the tension and began to provide him with a summary of recent events. Kuai Liang observed his brother’s eyes light up and an small smile grace his face as he spoke about you. Despite appreciating Tomas’s strength in choosing to trust you, Kuai Liang couldn’t shake the bitter pain of the possibility of leaving wreckage in its wake. Collecting the pieces was becoming increasingly difficult, and this time, the prospect of there being any pieces left to gather was doubtful.

As time passed and the sun set, casting colorful lights across the cityscape outside the window, Kuai Liang felt his body slowly begin to ache. His joints felt as though there was no cartilage between them, his mouth was dry, and his eyes burned. A throbbing headache started to pulse at his temples, while a wave of dizziness washed over him, causing him to sway unsteadily for a moment. Tomas, too, rubbed his eyes, indicating that he was experiencing similar symptoms.

“How many hours has she been gone?” Kuai Liang asked as he left the room, with Tomas trailing behind him.

“Four or five hours, I think.”

He found Bi-Han standing up and scratching his arms almost to the point of bleeding, Kuai Liang called out to him to stop. Bi-Han, however, seemed oblivious to his surroundings. For some reason, Bi-Han was the most sensitive among them. While Kuai Liang and Tomas could endure their master’s absences for a while, Bi-Han almost lost his mind during those times. The icy force that cocooned him decayed, and when faced with the outside world, Bi-Han couldn’t adapt to the change in temperature, causing his skin to painfully burn.

“Bi-Han! You have to stop before you hurt yourself,’’ Kuai Liang urged as he grabbed one of Bi-Han’s wrists and tried to pull him out of the trance. Bi-Han, lost in his agitation, initially didn’t register Kuai Liang’s presence, snarling like a wild animal and glaring with a crazed look in his eyes. Undeterred, Kuai Liang maintained his calm demeanor and tried again, ‘’You’re hurting yourself brother. You have to stop.’’

With a blink, Bi-Han snapped out of his trance, wrenching his wrist from Kuai Liang’s grip with force as he regained his composure, cursing angrily.

‘’Where the hell has this damn woman disappeared to? She should have been here hours ago!’’.

“This is the first time this has happened,” Tomas intervened, approaching them with a nervous look on his face. “Could something have happened to her?”

Kuai Liang had considered this possibility as well. If you were truly as kind-hearted as Tomas claimed, your intention couldn’t have been to cause them suffering, even if you knew they would be weakened by your absence. He knew that Tomas struggled to adapt to the outside world after emerging from the book, and Bi-Han would have been incapable of going out to search for you in that state, likely resorting to attacking someone or causing further harm to himself.

‘’I’ll go look after her, you stay here.’’ Ultimately, Kuai Liang decided it was best for him to handle the situation himself.

‘’I’m going with you too,’’ Tomas insisted.

‘’No, you stay with Bi-Han. It’s better that he’s not alone in this state.’’

‘’I’m not a cripple-‘’ Bi-Han began, but his words trailed off as the front door swung open. All three turned towards the door as you entered, raincoat soaked and holding a wet paper bag in one hand while the other seemed to conceal something under your raincoat. As your presence instantly offered them relief, Bi-Han lunged forward, bypassing any attempts to stop him, and positioned himself next to you, his stance emitting threatening signals from all sides.

‘’Where the hell have you been?’’ he demanded, leaning in closer. As Bi-Han cornered you, Kuai Liang moved to intervene with Tomas, while you attempted to explain yourself with a nervous, agitated tone. Startled by the tension, the paper bag slipped from your hand and fell to the ground.

‘‘I’m so sorry! On my way back, I found this kitten.” you said. Opening the front of your raincoat, you revealed the tiny feline tucked inside. Its meowing broke the tension as its head emerged. Tomas and Kuai Liang flanked Bi-Han, their attention captured by the small, pitiful-looking kitten. With a completely black body, its fur contrasted sharply with the white around its gray eyes and the pink tip of its nose. Its ears stood erect atop its small head.

‘’It was on the side of the road, its mother had been hit by a car, and its siblings had also perished. I discovered it nestled among them, trying to find warmth. I couldn’t leave it there,” you explained, your voice soft with compassion.

Bi-Han scoffed, “You have no livelihood, and your house is too small for all of us to fit in. As if all this wasn’t enough, are you going to try to take care of a fleabag now?’’ Despite his bother’s harsh and offensive words, the kind expression on your face while caring for the kitten remained unchanged.

“I will be its foster home. When it gets well enough, it’ll go to its real family.”

Bi-Han glanced at you briefly, muttering, “Whatever,” before pivoting on his heels and retreating to the living room. Tomas came up to you, giving you a little kiss on the top of your head and stroking the kitten that was perched on your lap. Relief washed over his face after he confirmed that you hadn’t suffered any harm.

“Are you going to give her a name?” he asked curiously.

“Yes, because it feels strange in my head to constantly call it ‘kitten.’ Does anyone have any ideas?” When your gaze turned to both of them, Kuai Liang remained silent, captivated by your image. Your cheeks and the tip of your nose were flushed from the rain outside, your skin and hair wet, and a sincere smile hidden on your face that touched his heart. You looked painfully innocent standing there with the kitten in your lap, a different image from the masters of the other book he had encountered so far.

“How about the name of that actor we watched last time?” Said Tomas, as he continued to stroke the kitten’s chin. The kitten’s eyes were closed in happiness, emitting loud purrs that reverberated through its tiny body, indicating how much it enjoyed being petted.

“Johnny Cage?” A small laugh poured from your lips. Kuai Liang tried not to dwell on how sweet and addictive your laugh had an air. “I’m sorry, but I think it’s a lady, Tomas. Oh, I found it! How about Ninja? She is a warrior just like you guys.”

“We are not ninjas,” Kuai Liang couldn’t help himself but chuckle at your suggestion. “But because the fur around her eyes is white, it looks like she’s wearing a mask. Ninja is actually not a bad name.”

“Yes, it suits her.”

“Good, then from now on your name is Ninja, little one. I couldn’t get the job, but I found you, so I guess it’s a win-win.” you said, stroking the kitten’s head. “I need to wash her thoroughly, she’s too dirty. After that, I’ll start on cooking. Is everyone hungry?”

***

Kuai Liang was completely silent as he looked at the plate you left in front of him. He didn’t really think you were going to make the food he liked.

‘’What’s the matter?’’ Tomas looked at him with sidelong eyes while stuffing a generous amount of morsel into his mouth. ‘‘You haven’t even touched your plate once.’’

‘’Aren’t you hungry?’’ You said in a slightly worried voice. Kuai Liang lifted his gaze from the food in front of him and looked at you. As he met your gaze, he noticed the fatigue evident in your eyes, weariness etched into their corners. Kuai Liang muttered in a voice that sounded foreign to his own ear.

‘’This is jiaozi.’’ He said, as if that cleared everything up.

‘’Yes.’’ You continued to speak despite your statement that you did not understand what he meant. ‘‘I’ve never done it before, so I had to look on the internet a little. Did I do it wrong?’’

Against the innocent question, Kuai Liang found himself confronting a flood of unfamiliar emotions. The last time he ate Jiaozi—also known as Chinese dumplings—was at Lin Kuei, and their father had not yet died. Kuai Liang had always liked eating this food. Normally, eating was more mechanical for him because of his metabolism, and it was an action he needed to do to survive, but he ate this meal completely arbitrarily. Now, years later, seeing this dish in front of him again made him feel nostalgic along with feelings he couldn’t name. Moreover, even though you didn’t know how to make this dish, the fact that you tried just because you knew that he loved it deeply affected him and changed the rhythm of his heart for a moment. For the first time, he felt cared for by someone outside of his family.

‘’No, it looks fine.’’ He said, in a voice that was hard to hear.

‘’Then you better taste it before it gets cold.’’ After Tomas poked him with his shoulder, Kuai Liang picked up one of the dumplings with his chopsticks and put it in his mouth. A contented hum escaped his throat as the flavor he had forgotten instantly flooded his palate, taking him back to his memories.

‘’It’s quite delicious.’’ He said, appreciating your hard work without concealment. ‘‘Thank you.’’

With those words, a genuine smile lit up your face, radiating warmth and sincerity that momentarily stole Kuai Liang’s breath away. He couldn’t help but marvel at the allure you possessed, understanding a little better now why Tomas was drawn to you. Your sincerity and infectious smile had a way of making others believe, effortlessly bridging any gaps in communication. It was easy to forget your role as the owner of the book when you interacted with them so naturally, blurring the lines between master and slave with remarkable ease.

“Great, because I made a pot full of this, it’s nice that you like it.’’ You said with a chuckle. Then you left them for a minute to give Ninja the little plate you had prepared. After you had cleaned and dried Ninja nicely, you released her to explore the house. The kitten had adapted to the environment as easily as if she had been a member of this house for years. There was no indication in her small body that she was afraid of them. In fact, on the contrary, she was constantly chasing Bi-Han as if she was thirsty for his attention. Bi-Han finally couldn’t stand the kitten’s high-pitched meows and chasing after him anymore, so he went into the study and closed the door behind him. Ninja had not left the door since he had entered the room.

‘’Come along, sweet thing, it’s dinnertime.’’

You returned with Ninja on your lap, and when you placed her on the floor and left the food you had prepared in front of her, Ninja completely forgot about Bi-Han and focused on the food in front of her. Kuai Liang slightly stretched out from his seat, watched the kitten eating with a half smile, attacking her food with a great appetite and emitting strange, happy noises.

‘‘If you don’t want to turn into an ice floe, I suggest you don’t follow that grump.’’ said Tomas, swallowing the morsel he was chewing.

‘‘I think he’ll get used to it,’’ your soft voice was tinged with hope as you reached for your own plate. ‘’Who can say no to a cute kitten?’’

‘’Bi-Han, of course.’’ Tomas quipped.

‘’Maybe he can get used to it after spending some time,’’ Kuai Liang said, joining you. ‘’Ninja looks pretty convincing.’’

‘’Isn’t she?’’ Laughing, you raised your own glass of the wine you had opened with the meal. ‘’To Ninja.’’

Tomas and Kuai Liang also chuckled and raised their glasses, clinking them together. As Kuai Liang took a sip of his wine, he felt inexplicably light at that moment, as if the damage that the past years had left on his body and mind had lifted a little, leaving him temporarily free to enjoy the moment. After allowing himself to eat as much as he wanted again, just like in porridge, Kuai Liang once again encountered the strangeness of feeling his stomach full. It didn’t seem like this feeling could get used to for a while longer.

As he lay on the sofa, one hand over his stomach and the other behind his head, many thoughts ran through his mind. They helped you clean up after dinner, and when you retreated to your room after saying that the day was tiring and you couldn’t stand up anymore, Tomas—and of course Ninja—followed you.

Even though he guessed that the two of you were sleeping together, it felt different to witness it. It’s like… it’s like he wanted to be there, in that bed with you, even though he didn’t want to admit it, even though he didn’t want to think about it. There was a kind of jealousy in his feelings this time, rather than his concern for Tomas. He could see how good you were for Tomas, and a part of him longed for that connection too. It was like catching a glimpse of heaven, yet he couldn’t fully embrace it. He both wanted and didn’t want more, the conflict he fell into was incomprehensible even to himself.

Although Kuai Liang couldn’t understand how it happened, his eyes closed after a while, and he found himself facing one of his old memories.

‘’Come here, Kuai Liang.’’

Leilani’s voice was alluring yet toxic as she pulled on the chain attached to his collar, coaxing him into bed. He despised the collar, feeling like a mere animal under her control. Despite his inner protest, he knelt beside her on the satin sheets. A satisfied smile appeared on Leilani’s face as he knelt down.

Kuai Liang was surprised more and more every time how he could have been attracted to this woman once. It was a ridiculous situation to have allowed himself to be deceived so easily; now when he looked, all he saw was nothing more than a venomous snake, dangerous, cruel, and selfish.

‘‘I will host a celebration tomorrow, and some of my most important guests will be in attendance. While Tomas doesn’t have problems getting hard quickly due to his youth, I need someone who can go more than a few rounds. Taming Bi-Han can be tiresome; his stubbornness is often exhausting.” When Leilani grasped his manhood and caressed it with interest, although Kuai Liang maintained his expressionlessness, his skin stretched in disgust. He couldn’t stand the touch of this woman. ‘’You know what I want from you, don’t you? Have no doubt that I will reward you well, Kuai Liang. You know, I keep my word.’’

Kuai Liang wanted to scream, telling her to hold her forked tongue between her teeth to her face. This was almost a need rather than a desire; it had been a long time since her hollow promises had lost their meaning for him. After he remained silent, Leilani pulled the chain harder. With a sudden tightening of his throat, his breath remained congested in his throat, and a muffled sound left his lips.

‘’I cannot hear that you approve of my words,’’ Leilani said, almost hissing. He was clenching his jaw, pressing his teeth together so hard that for a moment he thought they would break under the pressure he was applying. When he managed to say the words, albeit with difficulty, Leilani’s dark green eyes shone with satisfied sparkles.

‘’That is my warrior, always ready to satisfy.’’

As Kuai Liang opened his eyes with a sharp breath, the morning sun greeted him warmly, casting a golden glow across the room. He blinked away the remnants of nightmare, his hand instinctively reaching to brush aside the strands of hair that had fallen across his face during the night. When he heard the front door click, he opened one eye and turned towards the door, only to find you there, looking slightly guilty as if caught in the act.

“Good morning. Did I wake you up again?” you asked in a whispering voice.

“No, I’ve just woken up,” Kuai Liang replied, his brow furrowing slightly as he noticed your attire. “Are you going somewhere?”

“I need to buy cat litter and food for Ninja. Would you like to accompany me? It won’t take long.” you offered. Thinking it would be beneficial to get some fresh air and distance himself from the walls that surrounded him, Kuai Liang accepted your invitation. Since he was already warm enough, he didn’t bother to grab any additional clothing, knowing that none of your clothes would fit him anyway. As you walked out of the apartment together, he took a deep breath, relishing the scent of the earth after last night’s rain. The clean smell soothed his heart, which had been beating irregularly, and the act of stepping outside helped to ease his tense muscles and nerves.

“Did you sleep well?”

Kuai Liang decided to be honest in his response, knowing he shouldn’t hide the truth from you. His expression clearly conveyed that he hadn’t slept well, and there was no point in pretending otherwise.

“No, I usually have nightmares quite often. So even though I can sleep, I can’t say it’s ‘good,’” he admitted.

Your face softened under the morning sun, your caring gaze causing his heart to flutter. Your words were laced with sadness, mirroring the same emotion in your eyes.

“I use aromatherapy candles to help Tomas sleep, and they obviously work. If you want, I can give them to you to help. Maybe they’ll help you relax a little and prevent the nightmares,” you suggested, your voice filled with hope and sincerity. Kuai Liang considered your offer while silently studying you. It wasn’t just the candles that helped Tomas sleep; it was your presence. Your presence brought him peace. But he didn’t voice that sentiment out loud.

“Thank you,” he said finally. “I’d like to try.”

After responding to his answer with a smile, you began to introduce him to the surroundings. As you talked about where you usually shop for groceries and how you like to buy yourself coffee and sweet rolls from the little coffee shop on the corner from time to time, especially when the weather is nice in the nearby park, you take your book and read or go for a walk. With each detail about your everyday life, Kuai Liang felt himself decelerating even more as he listened to you, and the traces of his nightmare were erased from his mind.

As you recounted a funny incident to him, you couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory. You explained how, in the past, you were walking through the park, lost in thought, when suddenly a squirrel darted out from a nearby bush and startled you. Startled, you leaped back in surprise, only to trip over a wayward tree root and land flat on your back, much to the amusement of onlookers nearby.

‘’I hope you didn’t frighten the poor squirrel too much,” Kuai Liang raised an eyebrow, his eyes alight with amusement. It was a feeling he hadn’t experienced in ages—simple, almost childlike, yet undeniably refreshing. He felt free from the weight of his past, not defined by his role as a slave or an assassin at the moment.

‘’Hey, he scared me first. Besides, we’ve already negotiated a peace treaty since then. I even gave him a few nuts as a gesture of goodwill,” you replied, a sweet giggle escaping your lips.

“Ah, so you’re a diplomat as well as… What? A squirrel whisperer?” he quipped, a small, teasing smirk playing at the corners of his lips. A sense of disbelief washed over him—how could he find such joy, effortlessly smiling and laughing, with not a single troubling thought in his head.

You laughed at his response, the sound ringing out joyfully in the quiet street. Kuai Liang found himself captivated by the sight of you, so carefree and full of life. It made you seem so much younger and more beautiful, your eyes sparkling with mirth, your cheeks flushed with laughter. In that moment, he felt a swell of pride, knowing that he could bring such joy to you with just a simple exchange. It was almost magical to witness firsthand, and he couldn’t help but feel grateful for the opportunity to share this moment with you.

“I named him Theodore, after a character from a kids’ movie,” you explained with a smile. “He’s quite a chubby squirrel, but you’ll like him. He’s got quite the personality.”

***

It had been a week and a half since Kuai Liang had ventured out of bed, and during that time, he found himself gradually becoming accustomed to your constant presence. Despite his initial resistance, he couldn’t deny the magnetic pull you seemed to have on him. Every unexpected gesture or interaction only served to deepen his connection to you, making it increasingly difficult for him to maintain his distance.

Despite your respectful boundaries and reluctance to initiate physical intimacy, Kuai Liang couldn’t help but be captivated by the chemistry between you and Tomas. Your gentle exchanges and tender gazes toward his brothers stirred a longing within him, a desire to be a part of the connection you shared. Yet, his past experiences lingered like a shadow, a constant reminder of the risks involved in opening up to vulnerability. So, Kuai Liang found himself silently observing from a distance, still caught between the yearning for connection and the past wounds resurfacing. Though he longed to bridge the gap between himself and the warmth you and Tomas shared, he remained rooted in hesitation, unable to take the leap of faith. Thus, he stayed in the background, watching and wanting, but unable to dare to take action.

Taking a deep breath of the lavender-scented candle that you had left in the room, Kuai Liang tried to relax his body and quiet his mind. With each inhale, the calming scent enveloped him, easing the tension from his muscles and soothing his restless thoughts.

With another breath, he started to ascend into the waiting darkness, his body going lax, mind numbing. Everything smelled of lavender, mingled with the faint scent of you.

“Stand here, Tomas. And you, Bi-Han. Kuai Liang, come forward,” Leilani’s voice rang out within the hall as she positioned them in front of the gathered guests. Tomas stood with a stoic resolve, Bi-Han’s gaze betrayed a mix of defiance and resignation, while his eyes held a glimmer of suppressed rage. Leilani, draped in luxurious attire, circled them like a queen inspecting her subjects.

“Don’t let the youngest brother’s appearance fool you; Tomas is well-behaved and knows exactly how to please his lovers, always eager to satisfy their desires. As for Bi-Han, the eldest, he relishes in taking the dominant role in bed, but he’s also open to relinquishing control when desired. And then there’s Kuai Liang, the middle brother,” Leilani declared with a coy smile. She moved closer to him, her warm breath tickling his neck as she nibbled on his earlobe.

“He’s the feisty one, capable of enduring for hours thanks to his incredible stamina. If you’re looking to extend your pleasure beyond a couple of rounds, he’s my favorite in that regard,” she murmured seductively. Leilani’s words dripped with temptation, accentuating their prowess in the bedroom as she enticed her guests. The guests murmured amongst themselves, their eyes darting between Leilani and them. Tomas clenched his jaw in silent fury, Bi-Han’s fists tightened at his sides, he remained outwardly stoic, though inwardly he seethed with anger and humiliation.

As Leilani’s hand trailed down his chest, he fought back a grimace, his skin recoiling at her touch. Silently, he masked the turmoil within, but beneath the surface, a fierce determination smoldered—to break free from the chains that bound him to this life of servitude and degradation.

Kuai Liang woke up with a gasp when he heard someone call his name in the distance, feeling a rough wetness on his cheek. As he registered Ninja’s hot breath on his face, he struggled to comprehend the situation. How had he not noticed the kitten climb onto his lap? Ninja meowed, rubbing her little head against his chin, and with her purrs, she nestled herself in the area between his chin and neck, settling down to rest.

‘’Kuai Liang?’’

Hearing your voice nearby, Kuai Liang was careful not to disturb the kitten’s comfort, turning his head slightly to the side and looking at you. Thanks to the city lights outside, he could easily pick out your facial contours. You were on your knees so that you could see him more comfortably, your expression was worried, your eyebrows furrowed as you carefully examined him, wearing an old plush dressing gown.

‘’Are you all right?’’

‘’Have you been watching me?’’ Kuai Liang’s voice sounded so muffled that it seemed foreign and incomprehensible even to his own ears.

‘’No, actually, I came to drink some water. I heard you mumbling, thought you were having a nightmare. That’s why I wanted to wake you up.’’

Before Kuai Liang straightened up, he took Ninja on his lap and leaned his back against the armrest of the couch. He carefully stroked the kitten’s soft head, drawing a deep breath into his lungs. Her body was almost the size of his hand, so small that Kuai Liang was afraid of accidentally hurting the kitten. However, for Ninja, it didn’t seem to matter how big he was; she surrendered herself completely to his touch, content. Her happy purrs filled the silence.

Kuai Liang had never thought that he could be grateful for the existence of a kitten before, but right now, he was more grateful than ever for being distracted. It had alienated him from the imaginary hands and touches that were wandering on his skin.

“Yes,” Kuai Liang said after a while. ‘’I was having nightmares about my past.’’

Upon his answer, you sat down in the single seat opposite him and asked in a polite, even voice that showed you were a little afraid to express it.

‘’Do you want to talk about it?’’

Kuai Liang wanted to dismiss the matter by saying no at first, but then, Tomas’ words echoed in his mind and stopped him.

’I know you don’t trust her, but trust me.’

Kuai Liang thought that he was smart enough not to make the same mistake a second time. Until this moment. Something inside him, a feeling, an impulse, or whatever it was, whispered that he could trust you. Even though it seemed stupid, Kuai Liang wanted to try it. Maybe he hadn’t fully recovered from his nightmare yet, maybe he was aware of everything, contrary to the fact that he was fooling himself, and he still wanted to do it. Regardless of the reason, they all came to the same conclusion in the end.

‘’Her name was Leilani. She was the sixteenth owner of the book.’’

Kuai Liang spoke in a tone of voice that only you could hear. He could imagine the reactions his brothers would have if they heard him mention Leilani, and he didn’t feel healthy and in control enough to deal with them right now. His emotions and thoughts were everywhere; the thing that held him together was the tiny kitten on his lap and your presence, keeping him calm.

“Leilani was a sorceress who lived in the Outworld lands, not particularly powerful but was well known and had important connections throughout Outworld. The book had reached her through a merchant.’’ Kuai Liang said, despite his body convulsing with tension as he resurfaced those memories, he continued. When he mentioned that she had an approach that set her apart from other masters, that she might even find a solution to this curse like you, he watched your expression clash with a mix of surprise and resentment. From what he gathered from your reaction, Tomas had briefed you on what happened.

Despite the tension coursing through his body, the words flowed easily from his lips, one by one. When he reached the part about how Leilani won their trust, you remained as still as a statue. Leilani had always been kind and overly generous to them, until she revealed her true colors. She indulged their desires, bought them separate gifts, and made sure they were satisfied. It wasn’t difficult for them to believe her, as it was the first time someone had approached them like this since they were sealed inside the book. However, from that moment on, Leilani underwent a complete transformation. Now that she knew she had their trust, she began to play a different game with them.

No master had ever bothered to toy with their hopes before; typically, it was just orders and dark desires to be fulfilled. But for Leilani, playing with their hopes was more enjoyable than giving orders. She claimed to have found a way to save them from the curse, starting with seemingly harmless requests. At first, neither he nor his brothers were bothered by these small tasks. However, as the requests began to erode their pride, they realized the truth: Leilani was playing with them like a cat with a mouse. There was no freedom, no guarantee that her promises would be fulfilled—it was all just part of her game.

Especially when parties were held, it was the time that Leilani enjoyed the most. She liked to humiliate them in front of everyone, to highlight their weaknesses, which she knew very well, to announce that they were the deadliest assassins of a noble clan before, but now they were love slaves, to see them used as objects.

‘I know Tomas doesn’t like the dark; you wouldn’t want me to lock your brother in a room with no light for a week, would you?’

‘I discovered by chance last week that Bi-Han has a lot of sensitivity to my absence. You don’t want me to test how much longer he can stand it, do you Kuai Liang? Be a good slave and follow my orders.’

‘So the famous assassins of Lin Kuei… to come to this point now must be quite crushing your pride. You are nothing more than an object waiting to be used for my desires and nothing more.’

‘Remember who holds the power here, who controls your fate.’

As Leilani’s laughter rang in his mind, at one point when he ran out of words and had nothing more to tell, a silence fell over the room. Kuai Liang was surprised that he had told so much; obviously, he had not expected himself to perform like this. While he was trying to digest that, you suddenly filled his vision and hugged him tightly without crushing Ninja. Kuai Liang remained motionless, his body stiffening as his muscles reflexively contracted. But when he felt hot tears on his shoulder, his whole system was turned upside down.

‘‘Are you crying?’’ He said in an incredulous voice.

‘‘Yes, I- oh my, I’m sorry. Just give me a second, please.’’ When you just stood there without taking your head out of your hiding place, Kuai Liang remained motionless. He could have easily got out of your grip if he wanted, but your touch relaxed him in a way he hadn’t expected and made him feel… good. Your hug was sincere, caring, and full of emotion. His arms moved before his brain, hugging you in the same way; he gently pressed your body to his, feeling your soft and tender touch against his own hard-contoured body. Kuai Liang involuntarily inhaled the clean scent rising from your skin that touched his nose and felt his body relax a little more with the air filling his lungs.

At that exact moment, Ninja squealed because she was stuck between you, and when you both startled and recoiled, the kitten jumped straight from his lap to the ground.

‘’I’m sorry, my friend,’’ said Kuai Liang, apologetically trying to stroke the kitten’s head. ‘’I forgot for a moment that you were there.’’

Fortunately, Ninja seemed to have accepted his apology, allowing her head to be stroked. Then, as she caught the tassels of the carpet on the floor and jumped on them, Kuai Liang’s gaze was fixed on you.

Tears were still flowing softly from your eyes, your expression was so sad that Kuai Liang’s heart contracted with pain at the sight of you, the need to be able to put a smile on your face overwhelmed him. Taking your face between his palms, he asked in a gentle voice. Whenever he touched you, he felt a tingling sensation, like a harmless but enticing spark.

“Why are you crying?”

“I am so angry,” you replied, your voice carrying a mix of harshness and innocence. “I feel such a need to hurt someone for the second time.”

“Who’s the first?”

“Quan Chi,” you said in one breath, attempting to wipe away the tears. Kuai Liang stopped you, his calloused fingertips gently caressing your delicate skin. It felt natural, as if breathing. Even with Leilani, he had never felt such closeness. Was this what Tomas meant?

“Now I understand better why you don’t want to trust. How can a person trust again after all this? This is so cruel.” Kuai Liang felt his heart soften towards you, seeing the tears you shed for them. Neither Leilani nor anyone else felt sorry for them, shed tears, or got angry on their behalf in this way. Frankly, as of now, it didn’t even feel right to compare you to others. Kuai Liang reflected on the stark difference in your empathy and care compared to their previous experiences. “I will help you as much as I can, Kuai Liang. I told Tomas, but I want you to hear and know, too, that I will never lie to you like I have found a solution and play with your hopes. I don’t expect you to believe this, of course, but I want you to know.”

“Thank you,” Kuai Liang said sincerely. “It’s very rare for Tomas to trust someone other than us. I can see you’re good for him. It’s enough for me that you keep this up, he deserves to be happy more than enough.”

“You all deserve it,” you said with a slight reproach in your voice, but your gaze remained loving and sad. “I know how precious this is. I’ll keep it safe with me, and I promise to keep you all safe as well. I won’t let any harm come to you again. Although I haven’t been able to find a solution for the curse right now, at least I can offer you this safe space for now.”

Kuai Liang felt his heart melt completely, enveloped in a warmth so sweet and soft it felt like an embrace. His gaze shifted to your hand, where a scar marred the otherwise delicate skin of your palm. As he gently clasped your hand and cradled it in his own, his fingers traced the faint outline of the scar. He couldn’t still grasp the idea that you had hurt yourself for their sake. When his hand slipped to your wrist and he planted a tender kiss on the palm of your hand, he heard a broken breath escape you.

“You are a good person,” Kuai Liang said, the words coming out of his lips as if he was reassuring himself. Although it was ridiculous that he had fallen into the same situation as Tomas now, despite advising caution, Kuai Liang felt his walls crumbling with every passing second. He was tired of constantly protecting himself, erecting barriers around his heart, and remaining on guard. Battling all his life had left him exhausted, and now, despite the fire within him, Kuai Liang longed for a moment of respite, a chance to calm his body and clear his confused mind. And the solution was only a few breaths away.

You didn’t employ fancy words like Leilani, nor did you shower them with flashy gifts or overwhelm them with compliments. You didn’t exude dominance or pose a silent threat with your presence. There were no orders or rules; in short, you were unlike any master or people they had encountered before. Your speech was naive, your presence harmless, and though your financial situation might not have been affluent, your heart was undeniably generous. You sought to make them as comfortable as possible, ensuring they were full and now even opening your doors to a kitten.

When his gaze shifted to the supposed kitten, he saw Ninja lying a little further away, on her back, her round stuffed belly in clear view. A chuckle escaped his lips at the sight.

“Cats can tell if a person has good intentions or not,” he said, backing up his earlier words. When your attention shifted to Ninja like his, your small genuine laugh filled the room.

“So Ninja played a part in you coming to this conclusion, did she?”

“I can’t deny that Tomas had an influence on this, though not as much as Ninja.” Kuai Liang admitted.

“Just them?” you asked, your expression a bit playful, but mostly covered with a timidity that showed you were still unsure of his reaction. Kuai Liang felt his heart tremble with the look of you.

Before answering, he gently touched your hair with one hand, his fingers moving between the tufts, appreciating the sensation of freedom from any constraints. The label of “slave” had been with him for so long that he had forgotten what it meant to behave like a normal person. As his hand moved from your hair to your soft cheek, you didn’t flinch away. Instead, when you leaned into his touch, just like a cat, Kuai Liang’s heart swelled with the burgeoning interest he was starting to feel towards you.

‘‘How is it possible that I can ignore your influence,’’ Kuai Liang said in a voice filled with awe. ‘‘You’re like a dream I never expected to come true.’’

With his words, your expression softened so much that while tears glistened in your eyes again, the most loving smile settled on your beautiful face that he had ever seen. Then, as if something dawned on you, you chuckled wetly, a sign that you were about to cry.

‘‘Tomas had predicted this would happen,’’ you said.

‘‘How so? Did you both plan this?’’

Against the pure curiosity in his voice, you let out another giggle. Then, as you shook your head from side to side, meaning no, you placed one hand on his cheek and gently stroked his skin with your thumb. In that moment, the question marks in Kuai Liang’s head became silent.

‘‘It’s just your brother knows you too well,’’ When the look on your flushed face and shy gaze landed on his lips, Kuai Liang felt his heart quicken and his body fill with anticipation. You asked with a feather soft voice, ‘‘May I kiss you?’’

Instead of answering, Kuai Liang inclined his head, finding your lips without hesitation. With a sigh, you welcomed him, lips parting in acceptance as he drew you closer, his other hand gently encircling your waist. The kiss was slow, unhurried, and tender, as if time stood still and belonged only to them. Your tenderness shook the walls around Kuai Liang even more deeply than before. It was as if you feared hurting him, a sensation he had never experienced, let alone kissed with such care. His heart pounded with a fierce rhythm, ignited by a wild protective instinct.

You were a unique presence, offering a glimpse of the man he once was, a rarity he had never encountered before. In return, Kuai Liang longed to learn every facet of you, to etch even the smallest details into his memory. ‘This must be what they call addiction,’ he thought. This was the only way he could best describe the effect you had on him.

As your body touched his, your fingers gently entwining between his long black hair, and your eyes closed in trust, Kuai Liang found himself experiencing a feeling he had never tasted before. It was more than an instant sensation; it hit him like a slap and shook his very existence. It felt like completion. You were filling a part of himself that he didn’t even know was missing. You were the hope he dared not embrace, the goodness that remained pure in a world of ugliness. Being able to touch you was a lifeline, anchoring him to reality and reminding him that this was really happening, that you were here, on his lap, between his arms.

When Kuai Liang kissed you with a deeper, awakening passion, you didn’t resist. Instead, you put your arms around his neck, your grip soft and yielding, showing once again that you left the choice to him rather than demanding more. You were simply there, touching him, and it was clear from everything that you were content with just that.

He wanted to laugh at Tomas for knowing him better than he knew himself, but a strange lump formed in his throat, making it difficult to swallow. Part of him felt tainted by the countless bodies he had touched, as if no matter how much he scrubbed his skin clean, he could never rid himself of the imaginary hands that had touched, grasped, clawed, and caressed him. Lips that kissed and bit him, leaving their forever mark. Thus, he felt as though he had stained you by touching you. But the selfish, hungry part of him, which brought to the surface all the forgotten feelings, was more dominant; he wanted you. And because he had chosen to open his heart for the first time, he wanted to believe that you would keep it safe, as you promised.

Perhaps this time, there was no need for him to protect his heart behind its walls.

[bi-scottsummers]

Hi, hello, just came here to say that I love your fic "trending in Japan". I was wondering if you had headcanons regarding Kenji or Emi or interpersonal relationships and stuff. Many hugs for you.

hi hello, thank you for the encouragement and hugs! After some thought ive realized I do in fact have some hcs about some of the character dynamics in the movie as well as just kenji himself, cause hes captivated my entire brain:

Kenji & Emi

Emi does not have teeth but she does inexplicably have a teething phase. kenji is forced to hide all his (salvaged) fancy cars in the garage bc the corvette's already been chewed to hell and his heart is gonna give out if he has to watch any more classics get wrecked

he reads her bedtime stories. A lot of aesop's fables, because theyre short and fun and hes trying to raise his monster daughter with good morals. emi goes hogwild for these but its unclear if she actually understands what hes saying; kenji's pretty sure she just likes the silly voices he uses for different characters

they go flying together! they go first thing in the morning before breakfast - it helps kenji shake off the grogginess of sleep and emi gets to stretch her wings. shes not able to go very far for very long initially, but as she grows and gets those cardio gainz she almost gets to be quicker than him. they have races and play air tag :)

while she doesnt have the vocal range to speak english herself, it becomes clear that emi does understand it well. (kenji also develops an ear for her chirping/squawks, though body language & facial expressions play a big part in communication for both of them) during her (much later) rebellious phase she'll simply pretend not to know what's being said when kenji is telling her to do something she doesn't wanna do, which frustrates him to no end

Kenji

developed a pretty massive chip on his shoulder after moving to the states. it wasn't just bitterness over his dad staying behind, though that was a part of it. this is canon but he was picked on in school for "how [he talked], how [he looked] and what [he ate]." he felt like he had something to prove to both his father and the world. he threw himself into sports - specifically baseball - and his academics, and he did so well that it forced everyone to shut up about how he was different from them and focus on how he was better than them

^ playing off this: kenji had a bonkers fucking yonkers routine when he was a kid/in highschool. he'd get up hours before school started to practice his swing, go for a ~1hr run, workout, study, etc. He'd go to school, come home, and do it all again. this is exaggerated but my point is that this kid was DETERMINED and had the discipline to see that determination through to the end

didnt have many friends because of all aforementioned things. he had acquaintances, and he was invited to parties and outings and stuff (never went), but he spent most of his free time hanging out with his mom. he never really had a "parents are so embarrassing" phase. he always liked to do anything with his mother: going to the bank, going grocery shopping, watching cheesy telenovelas till ungodly hours in the morning, etc. she was his no.1 supporter, confidant, and best friend

he played for his university's baseball team and got scouted at 19. his mom forced him to finish his bachelor's first so once he graduated with his degree in kinesiology at 21, he was drafted to the dodgers

Kenji & Ami

both of them, up until meeting each other, were totally dedicated to their career (and child) so they had basically 0 time for friends. theyre both borderline losers but theyre juuust good enough at what they do for people to admire them instead of finding them sad and lowkey pathetic

kenji is way more into the idea of being friends than ami is. hes pretty enthusiastic about it; he thinks that they have a kind of rapport, since they share a similar work ethic and are both (unbeknownst to ami) single parents. he calls her to chat abt random things. ami initially isnt superrrr into it; she thinks kenji is kinda lonely and desperate for human connection, & it isnt until her mom points out that she has not spoken to anyone outside of work-related reasons in 10+ years that shes like oh shit, i am also lonely and desperate for human connection. so she grudgingly acquires a friend. theyre both really bad at it

need to clarify that in my mind their dynamic is 95% kenji yapping about work and drama in his personal life (circumventing the 8m baby kaiju hes raising) while ami goes "mhm mhm" and takes notes until kenji notices and is like What are you doing. at which point ami is like...... right . nothing. im listening. and forces herself to put the notepad away. she has a hard time disengaging from the reporter mindset and just hearing something intriguing without turning it into an article. the other 5% are the rare moments where theyre connecting super well - ami's psychoanalyzing the hell out of whatever kenji just said and hes like what are you my therapist. over time she starts opening up to him, too, and eventually theyre comfortable enough to be having philosophical discussions over breakfast just for funsies

before kenji reveals that hes ultraman, ami thinks hes in a gang. he keeps showing up to their lunch "dates" with like bruised eyes and fractured bones and gets all shifty when she tries to ask about what happened. when she eventually confronts him about it, hes so offended that she thinks hed be involved in something like that that he tells her about being ultraman

thats about all i can think of rn, though im sure ill think of more after rotating all the characters in my head for a while. thanks again for stopping in, i appreciate the support :)

[burnin0akleaves]

Here's the draw six fanarts meme I decided to participate in 4 years late

In true burnin0akleaves spirit I didn't ask anyone for requests and just went ahead with all of the characters that have been the most impactful/important to me, so there is a high chance you've seen me draw these guys before.

By the way, unlike the rest of the blorbos here Siyra is an original character and belongs to @nineteen-rats!

Close-ups and rambles under the cut because it's my blog

Ohh the Dark Urge. My latest obsession. I love his design so much, I'm a slut for white/red color schemes, but I feel like it's a double edged sword that takes you out of the horrors he's commiting at the same time?

Durge is supposed to be murder incarnate, someone that does every fucked up thing related to death imaginable; but when you see a giant lizard eating babies or humping corpses, it dulls the effect a bit since you automatically view it as an animalistic act. Dragonborns are obviously a fully sentient humanoid race in-universe; but when the violence you're seeing is already toeing the line between horrifying and hilarious, seeing a scalie doing it just pushes it over the line. I still think it works really well most of the time and I'm very glad that this is the default durge we get! It's just funny to me that when you choose to play as the giant lizard, the dark and disgusting horror story turns into the hilariously edgy bloodfest.

Reminding everyone again that Siyra belongs to @nineteen-rats! I love this man so so so much. I am the Siyra fandom. I am the number one Siyra fanartist. He did nothing wrong and I will defend his every decision. I also hope terrible horrors befall him and that his actions keep him awake for the rest of his life. Pookie bear xoxo

COMING IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR IT'S WILL TREATY

He is on my mind, always. I don't talk about him as much but he's probably still the fictional character who had the most impact on me as a person.

PATROCLUS! PATROCLUS!!! SIR I'M YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!!

I got into patrochilles and the Illiad in general thanks to "The Song of Achilles". It was one of the first queer books I got to have in real life and the prose captivated me instantly, I still have it on my shelf. After reading the Illiad itself however, I hate that book so much. I'm sorry it's genuinely beautiful and I get why people like it but I can never forgive that horrible Patroclus characterization after seeing what he was originally like. Achilles too for that matter.

Hades swooped me up into its arms like I was a sick baby bird and nursed me back to health with its portrayal of the two though and for that I am forever grateful. I can't wait for Hades 2, death to Chronos.

God Half-Life is such an important series for me. My dad would let me play through a few levels since I was a child, he grew up with the games, but I REALLY played through the entire series one summer shortly before dad moved out. He was there watching me play most of it and getting to enjoy someone actually translate the game's dialogue for him for the first time.

Gordon may not speak once but I like the hints of his personality we get throughout the games, most importantly from the way Alyx talks to/about him. I have my own characterization of him obviously but I do really think you can get a good understanding of the kind of man he is meant to be in-universe just by paying attention to his surroundings. Also another reason the games were so immersive for me is that I'm just as in love with Alyx as Gordon is. I must have let her get hit only once or twice the entire time just out of how protective I was over her. I'd topple the entire Combine empire just for her hand in marriage. I rewatched the ending of Half Life Alyx recently and cried.

I read the entirety of LOTR in one week in 11th grade, carrying that damn brick of a book everyday to school and back. I'm so glad I did honestly. Frodo and Sam are my important little guys and I find myself going back to them when I need something to calm me down in a way no other series except LOTR can. I've read most of Tolkien's work at this point, but nothing captivated me like those two little hobbits. Everytime I read a bad take about their relationship I sketch them making out.

People liked seeing my drawing process before so here's the original sketch and the little notes I wrote to myself trying to set the mood. I followed like half of them.

[staarri]

HIIII, how are you? I hope everything goes well <33 I would like to order gaming x reader, maybe as an accidental kissing session? If it's not too much trouble, thank you very much for reading <33

𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐬   

  —   characters :   ga ming

  —   character(s) are friends with reader, gn!reader, not really an accidental kiss… it had a purpose, mutual pining, this is a work of fiction

      fluff     ,    accidental kiss     ,    modern!au     .      word count : 1.1k

hi there lovely! i changed this up a bit since i couldnt figure out what to write. i hope you dont mind! very extra special tag for @aventurne !!

The movie ends in such a bittersweet way. The protagonist lives her life as a teacher and her sister marries the boy she once loved the most. She looked back at her life in such a happy way now that she also had someone for her.  You sniffle, bringing a tissue to your eyes. Your friend looks at you, eyes filled with worry.

“Are you okay?” He asks, hesitantly bringing his hand to your cheek and wiping away any kind of remaining trail the tear left. You two had planned a little movie date. If you could even call it that–You did it as friends anyway. Yet you never expected the movie you chose to be this… This devastating.

“Mhm–” You sniffle again, cheeks puffing up. You start fanning your face to try and stop crying, but the more you think about it the sadder you get. “That was just. Wow, like I didn’t expect it at all.”

He giggles, laying back comfortably on his seat. He nods, yeah. 

“Think that’ll happen to me too?” You’ve always believed love would never work out the way you wanted it to. For you, of course. I mean, your friends are all in happy relationships–marriages for some and you’re stuck at this golden age, single. 

“With the amount of unrequited love stories you’ve watched? At this point, I’m starting to believe it will.” Ga ming teases you. 

“That hurt a little, `ming.” Crossing your arms pretending to be upset.

“Oh–Oh I'm sorry,” He says sarcastically, laughing. “Let’s not forget what happened with La La Land.”

“Whatever! I doubt you’ll be getting a partner in the near future anyway; So we're in the same boat.”

He grins, “Really now?”

You nod frantically. Going on a short rant about how his personality is so explosive it causes the other people’s social battery to die out immediately, or how he’s so active all the time you never get a break from all the activities you guys do. Or how his smile is so captivating, maybe how his face is so bewitching.

“Don’t know. All I'm hearing is you like me so much it's killing you.”

“I do not!” 

“Sure.” 

Yeah. Maybe you do like him. A lot, maybe a bit more. He’s cast a spell on your heart and you can’t undo it–It’s a curse and a blessing all at the same time. What if you like your best friend? It’s not like he felt the same way anyway. Well he might, with the mixed signals he’s been giving you. But he’s nice to everyone–He’s like that to everyone. And it has always been like that from the very start.

He looks at you in a way that squeezes and twists at your chest; He smiles at you in a way that causes all the butterflies to fly from its cage in your stomach and you feel so lightheaded when you two laugh together. You’re lost in the way he’s so caring, and it makes you feel sick and selfish wanting him for all yourself.

But that's just how you feel. For all you know–He might just be leading you on, and you’ll find out once you admit your feelings to him right now at this moment.

It's so difficult not to blurt it out. The love from your heart is escaping and taking this tension between you as its new home. You just look at him as he takes in the surroundings of your venue, with the warm fairy lights emitting a glow that makes him look more ethereal by the moment, and with the couch that has his hair all fluffed up. But it’s just now that you notice how bright his eyes look, how the shine compliments the red hues so perfectly. Just now that you see the little fangs on his teeth and how his face scrunches up so right whenever he smiles widely. You wonder how he’ll look when you two grow old, how much will change within those years.

You can’t be his, it’ll ruin you in more ways than one.

“You’re awfully quiet, was the movie that bad?” His concern is enough to melt the walls you’ve worked too hard to build around your heart. He will ruin your inner peace, is it weird that you would let him?

You don’t dare answer.

“Hey, look at me.” 

He brings his hands to your cheeks, making you face him. You feel stupid in love, it's like you just can’t get enough air to your lungs because even that is filled with the scent of him.

“Talk to me, what’s wrong?” 

His eyes wander from your lips to your own eyes, looking for any kind of sign that you don't feel good. You place your hand on top of his and gently press your cheek against him more. You warned yourself, this is a bad idea. But you never listen, not once. 

Now he’s kissing you in a way that’s going to screw you up forever.

It’s soft, the way he handles you so gently. As if you’re some kind of porcelain that’s a little too fragile. You’re regretting everything that brought you to this moment but you’re not complaining one bit.

And it was short-lived. It wasn’t even a kiss, it was a peck on the lips. He was scared that you wouldn’t feel the same way, because somehow maybe you didn’t fall in love with your best friend who you’ve had multiple dimsums with. The friend that held you in your darkest moments and the friend who wished for all your partners to somehow quit playing with your feelings so he could be the one to be there for you instead.

Oh god, you were inlove. And so was he–and maybe even more than you.

“I didn’t mean to do that.” He stammered. Cheeks red and yours the same. You two were affected under the same spell you put on each other. “I swear–You just looked too pretty. I couldn't help it.”

It feels like you’ve just discovered love. Like you were the only one to know how it feels to be in love with someone. The tension is gone and all you’re feeling is pure adoration from him, from the way he stares at you with an expression you’ve never seen before.

Someday, this will end. But for now? You’ll be treasuring the moment in a way you’re sure no one else has.

characters belong to their respective companies. everything is written by staarri - do not steal, reupload, translate, modify or feed my work to ai.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 14

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

No Laurent. All signs of recent occupancy had been a handspan away from his own body, suggesting a night spent in close but not transgressive proximity: some kind of self-preservation had apparently prevented Damen from rolling inward during the night; from throwing his arm over Laurent’s torso and drawing them together to make the small tent seem larger than it was. As a result, Damen was in possession of all his limbs, and even had his clothing restored to him. Thank you, Laurent.

The embroidery came later, in the retelling, as the story was told again and again by the men, taking on its own character as it passed over camp. The Prince had ridden out, with only one soldier. Deep in the mountains, he had chased down the rats responsible for these killings. Had ripped them out of their hiding holes and fought them, thirty to one, at least. Had brought them back thrashed, lashed and subdued. That was their Prince for you, a twisty, vicious fiend who you should never, ever cross, unless you wanted your gullet handed to you on a platter. Why, he once rode a horse to death just to beat Torveld of Patras to the mark.

like how this ironic misunderstanding of the events is similar to how damen viewed laurent in book 1 and some of book 2. except now he gets the irony

He looked at Laurent’s tent of silks, the pennants unfurled in the breeze, their starbursts undulating. The distant voices of the men swelled briefly, then dropped away. It would not be like this. It would be a systematic campaign moving southwards towards Ios, building on the support he had from the kyroi factions. He would not be stealing out of camp at night to spin mad plans, to dress in unfamiliar clothes and forge alliances with rogue clans, or to fight alongside pony-riding warriors, capturing bandits improbably in the mountains. It would not be like this again.

:(

‘Keep the prisoners alive, keep the women on side, keep my men from the women,’ said Laurent, as though reciting from a checklist. ‘Come over here and talk geography.’ He came as he was bid, and took a seat opposite Laurent, across the map.

they’re so cute i can’t stand them. “come over here and talk geography” SHUT UP

Laurent did not tend to show any of the usual outward signs of fatigue. The control that he asserted and maintained over the troop was an extension of the control with which he ruled himself. A few tells existed. The words, perhaps.

“the words, perhaps” is such a funny line here. because like yeah no shit, but also how is damen supposed to know when laurent’s words actually reflect his true feelings?

Instinctively, Damen brought his hand up to squeeze Laurent’s shoulder gently—and then stopped. Laurent went very still, as Damen became aware of what he had just done, and that his grip was still on Laurent’s shoulder. He felt the locked muscles like hard wood beneath his hand. ‘Stiff?’ said Damen, casually. ‘A little,’ said Laurent, after a moment in which Damen’s heart knocked twice against the inside of his chest.

one thing i really appreciate about capri is the way that laurent is written, as a character with trauma/baggage who experiences intimacy in a way you wouldn’t expect from the love interest in a romance novel. he doesn’t make anything easy, for himself or for damen. his physical and mental reactions to things are very telling and consistent, and i appreciate pacat’s commitment to honoring that aspect of the character. that way it’s so much more rewarding when we finally see laurent let go of control and experience love that doesn’t hurt him.

i won’t do an official count for “laurent intimacy issues,” since it’s not nearly as clear-cut as “laurent leans,” but if there’s something that strikes this chord with me, i do want to make note of it. just… stuff that i personally appreciate, especially from a love interest in a romance novel, whose whole narrative job—one would expect—is to love the protagonist and have hot sex. but sensitive and traumatized people deserve love and intimacy, too, at their own pace and on their own terms. and laurent has a lot more going on than what damen perceives, or what the romance genre dictates. it’s nice to point out little moments where his issues affect his physical and emotional reactions, because it’s nice to know that those moments 1) exist and 2) don’t make him any less of a romantic lead.

He applied a gentle pressure with his thumbs. He said, ‘You brought me ice, last night.’ ‘This,’ said Laurent, ‘is a little more—’ It was a word of sharp points: ‘—intimate,’ he said, ‘than ice.’ ‘Too intimate?’ Damen said. Slowly, he was kneading Laurent’s shoulders. He did not usually think of himself as someone with suicidal impulses. Laurent did not relax at all, just stood unmoving. And then, at the apsis of his thumbs, a muscle shifted beneath pressure, unlocking a sequence all the way down Laurent’s back. Laurent said, unwillingly, ‘I . . . There.’ ‘Here?’ ‘Yes.’

a lot going on here! made even more complicated by damen’s pov!

damen takes physical intimacy much less seriously than laurent. prior to book 1, he has always enjoyed willing and enthusiastic partners (some of whom were conditioned into that enthusiasm, but we’ll deal with that later), and to him, sex is not a means of abuse or power. prior to book 1, intimacy was never used to disempower damen. laurent, obviously, is very different. pretty much all he knows of intimacy is abuse and disempowerment.

so, being aware of laurent’s trauma and also being fairly perceptive of the signs pointing towards it, i can see here that laurent is fighting a massive battle with himself. because, like, he does want this. but he doesn’t want to want this, because this is something he doesn’t have control over. the fact that he doesn’t throw damen off, and even explicitly asks him to massage a certain spot, is a demonstration of vulnerability that damen doesn't really understand.

which isn't bad or wrong of him, at all! if he did understand more about laurent’s trauma and responses, he’d almost certainly be less confident with initiating intimacy, which is something laurent needs from a partner. it's a lot harder when they're both completely terrified (which damen is, in a different way, but lesser so.) damen is afraid that laurent will bite his head off because he’s a bitch, not because he’s traumatized. and i think that’s a good place for them to be, at this stage of their relationship.

also, the “suicidal impulses” quip is great.

He felt Laurent subtly give himself up to his hands; yet as with a man closing his eyes on the edge of a cliff, it was an act of continuous tension, not surrender.

yeah

‘Like this?’ ‘Yes.’

“he likes that. do it harder.”

Laurent’s head had dropped forward a little. Damen had no idea what he was doing. He was distantly aware that he had had his hands on Laurent’s body once before, and couldn’t believe it, because it felt so impossible now; yet that moment felt connected to this one, even if only in contrast, his current caution against the unguarded way he had let his hands slide down over Laurent’s wet skin.

damen, meanwhile, has recently developed his own intimacy issues/trauma in book 1. these two are a mess

‘Is it so hard to relax?’ said Damen, quietly.

YEAH. IT IS.

‘You only have to walk outside to see what you’ve accomplished. Those men are yours.’ He didn’t pay attention to the signs, the slight stiffening. ‘Whatever happens tomorrow, you’ve done more than anyone could—’ ‘That’s enough,’ said Laurent, pushing himself away unexpectedly.

damen he’s not stressed bc of the war stuff, he’s stressed bc another human being is showing him physical affection and he actually wants it to be happening

When Laurent turned to face him, his eyes were dark. His lips were parted uncertainly. He had lifted his hand to his own shoulder, as though chasing a ghost touch there. He did not look exactly relaxed, but the movement did look a little easier. As if realising that, Laurent said, almost awkwardly, ‘Thank you.’ And then, in wry acknowledgement: ‘Getting tied up leaves an impression. I didn’t realise being captured was so uncomfortable.’

ohhhhh my god. oh my god. so fucking real, every line is so fucking real. the relief of no longer being touched, being back in control. the fuckin, phantom touch on the shoulder—an assessment of the massage, yes, but also… whose ghost is it? damen isn’t asking that question, but i am, and it’s sad. and then the awkward thanks, and the immediate snarky comment to follow up. it’s just so real.

‘I promise I’ll never tie you to the back of a horse,’ said Laurent. There was a pause in which Laurent’s mordant gaze was on him. ‘That’s right, I’m still captured,’ said Damen.

says the protagonist of the “captive prince” series

‘Your eyes say, “For now,”’ Laurent said. ‘Your eyes have always said, “For now.”’

ohhh this line is juicy. because like, yeah, there’s the melancholy yearning context of the last 10 or so chapters, but before? when they were enemies, when laurent was actively hurting and trying to disempower damen? even then, he never showed laurent submission. and laurent clearly noticed. they make me so crazyyyy

‘If you were a pet, I would have gifted you enough by now to buy out your contract, many times over.’

this is more a flaw in my understanding of the pet system, but is he saying that he’s done damen enough favors that if the favors were monetary he could afford to pay off his contract? that’s my best understanding of the line at this point.

‘I’d still be here,’ said Damen, ‘with you. I told you that I would see this border dispute through to its finish. Do you think I’d go back on my word?’ ‘No,’ said Laurent, almost as if he was realising it for the first time.

they drive me insane. the whole “suffering alone” theme—laurent is realizing that he hasn’t been suffering alone, lately, because damen is intentionally staying by his side. laurent may be great at strategic thinking, but he is so used to being manipulated and abused that he doesn’t even consider that someone could be genuinely devoted to him, as a person.

But I know you don’t like it. I remember how much it maddened you in the palace, to be bound and powerless. I felt yesterday how badly you wanted to hit someone.

another interesting re-contextualization of book 1! although it’s not quite an apology, bc i’m sure laurent was aware of the maddening and was probably like “good. this guy killed my brother”

Damen found he’d moved without realising it, his fingers lifting to touch the bruised edge of Laurent’s jaw. He said, ‘The man who did this to you.’ The words just came out. The warmth of skin under his fingers in that moment took all his attention, before he became aware that Laurent had jerked back and was staring at him, blue eyes huge with pupil. Damen was suddenly aware of how out of control he was—he felt—and called violently on his faculties to try to put a stop to—this. ‘I’m sorry. I . . . know better than that.’

“i know better than that” is an INSANE thing for him to say here, by the way. they’re both so compelled by each other and afraid of each other. the amount of work pacat has put into their arc/characterization so far means that scenes like these can have something going on between every single line. honestly i think there’s more going on here off the page, than there is on it

‘No. Wait. I . . . wait.’ Damen stopped, and turned. Laurent’s gaze was edged with indecipherable emotion, and his jaw was set at a new angle. The silence stretched out for such a long time that the words, when they came, were a shock. ‘What Govart said about my brother and I . . . it wasn’t true.’ ‘I never thought it was,’ said Damen, uneasily. ‘I mean that whatever . . . whatever taint exists in my family, Auguste was free of it.’ ‘Taint?’

fascinated by the possible reasons for laurent to say this, in this moment. he uses it on the page to then say that damen is a good and honorable person like auguste, so that’s the easy answer. but if he was just experiencing some ptsd flashbacks, i wonder if this is also something of a grounding statement for himself. because we know who he’s referring to, when he’s talking about bad people on his family tree. it’s almost like he’s trying to figure out how to frame this situation, more for himself than damen—laurent feels protected and cared for in this moment, and the last time he allowed himself to feel that way after auguste’s death, his uncle had taken advantage. so of course he’s picturing his uncle. but this statement, a reminder to himself that damen is more like auguste than the regent, and auguste would have never done anything with laurent in the way the regent had… augh. laurent your brain.

‘I wanted to tell you that, because you,’ said Laurent, as though he was forcing the words out, ‘You remind me of him. He was the best man I have ever known. You deserve to know that, as you deserve at least a fair . . . In Arles, I treated you with malice and cruelty. I will not insult you by attempting to atone for deeds with words, but I would not treat you that way again. I was angry. Angry, that isn’t the word.’ It was bitten off; a jagged silence followed.

this is a laurent apology! no “sorry” necessary. and he’s the closest to telling damen the truth as he’s ever been, but still he stops himself. i wonder if it’s partially out of shame, for how he treated damen. a refusal to make an excuse, because he understands the cruelty of his actions regardless. and of course he has cognitive dissonance to maintain and tactical reasons for keeping the lie going. but still, this is honest.

Then, with a return to his more usual tone, ‘And you don’t need to take watch,’ said Laurent. ‘You sleep prudently.’

of course he can’t just say, like, “sleep well” or “good night.” prudently means carefully, or in good judgment… so like, he’d wake up if something dangerous happened? laurent trusts that? i can’t tell if the statement is an observation or a command. it’s either, “[i want you to] sleep mindfully” or “you sleep mindfully [so you don’t need to stay awake on watch].” hmmm

Damen searched his face, but found nothing in it that he could read, which, he supposed, as he lifted his hands to the laces of his own jacket, was typical.

buddy there is so much subtext going on here it’s okay just get some rest

[deadrayg2mf]

The Gargoyle's Captive (A Deal with a Demon #3) by Katee Robert

Honestly, like, what do I even say at this point that ya'll haven't heard from me about how much I freakin' love Katee Robert and this series. I will keep this one brief for real because if I don't it'll just be like "Oh my god, Ray, shut the fuck up we get it - this book came out three months ago you're late to the party!"

Okay, so aside from it being Katee freakin' Robert, this book is full of enemies to lovers, femdom, grief-consumed protags, and - my favorite, of course - angst. Yeah, did I see the plot twist coming from a mile away? One thousand percent. Did I care? Frick no. Okay, so we're following the same story - deal with a demon, seven years basically married to leader of demon territory, maybe a baby... But this time, it's Grace the monster hunter and Bram the Gargoyle.

Grace is another enjoyable female lead who is a headstrong take-no-shit kinda gal, probably what you would expect from someone who makes a living out of hunting monsters. She's the last of her family and she's really only here for answers because Azazel happens to be the same demon her mother, who disappeared, made a bargain with, and by golly, she is going to get those answers even if it means selling seven years of her life. Bram is traumatized, grief-stricken, lonely, and at this point has the most sad-boy, giving up on life, fuck it energy I've ever seen in a protagonist - and I am so here for it. I eat that shit up. I love the tragics - stories and characters. He's also the last of his family after his entire family was murdered by an outsider his father brought in. He doesn't actually really want to be there but the opportunity and benefits it brings are too good to pass up, especially when you're in the leadership position he is...

I loved the story clearly, and really liked how handling grief was portrayed, no two people will be able to handle it the same even when they are in the same situation. Grace dug her heels in and became even more stalwart and determined while Bram gave in to the grief of loss and resigned himself to an empty life... and even potentially having it purposely ended at the hands of a scrappy little monster hunter in the bath... They are two people coming to terms with events of the past, the shadow of their parents, and suddenly dealing with someone new who they bought at an auction/got auctioned to for the next seven years that they don't necessarily get along with. That's right, they're totally toxic for each other. Don't worry, we're always promising happy endings here :) It's fast paced, there's a lot to get through in 186 pages, but I really think it was done to the best of its ability. Do I wish this was 500 pages? Uh, YEAH, but it is what it is and what it is, is really good. I will admit... it took me a hot minute to slug through obviously. I actually feel a little bad about this review because I was kind of forcing myself to read this. I wasn't in the right headspace and so while objectively I knew I was enjoying it I was also aware that I was, like, not locked in. I am very much intending to reread it when I'm not begrudgingly reading while rotting in bed just because nothing sounds enjoyable.

With that, I swear I am not just pulling shit out of my ass with everything I've told you. I really did enjoy the book, I love the way it's written, I liked the characters, the cover art is amazing, and it's just another great addition to the Deal with a Demon series. I think I'll give it a solid.... 7.9/10 with subject to change in the future :)

Would I read again? Yes, I plan to. Once the pesky ole depression and imminent demise anxiety wear off.

Would I recommend? Of cousre, I'm always recommending Katee Robert... I'm not sure what happens on the day I don't...? Does the world end?

[linkspooky]

Just got done with reading your "How To Do a Dark Deconstruction of your Shonen Hero" post, first off amazing work as always! As much as it pains me to hear (good faith, non-reactionary and well thought-out) criticism due to having gotten into MHA in middle school when I was impressionable and attached onto works quicker than I do, it was satisfying to hear someone as well-worded as yourself put into words a thought that I had. For a while I could only summarize it by thinking "Man MHA sure does feel toothless and inconsistent about what it delivers on, and what ideas or themes or messages or what have you are left in the fridge and forgotten about."

It was also fun to hear about Yu-Gi-Oh! GX, growing up YGO was only ever a game some of my friends played or "HEART OF THE CARDS" and Kaiba memes, so hearing that there was a lot more to the series was a welcome surprise, even if quite anecdotal on my part.

As for the question part of this ask, near the middle of it you brought up how despite being quite captivated with the idea and the final result, you weren't as impressed with how YGO got there, and vice versa with MHA in how it was paced better but so far(let me have a little bit of hope lol) ultimately hasn't made good on it's "storytelling promise" if you will.

With the preface that no story is "perfect" along with the fact that everyone has their own interests, biases, icks, etc., I wanted to ask if there was a story which in your opinion, that blends proper pacing and build-up, with proper follow-up and payoff? I had the idea of deconstructing the perfect shonen protag or similar character in mind, but I'm also curious to hear about other ideas as well if you have them.

PS Thanks again for writing and posting these. They're often the highlight of my day when I remember to get around to reading them. And apologies for this long-ass ask hehe.

If you want a shonen series with similiar themes of "saving the villains" as MHA and Season 3 of Yu-Gi-Oh GX! but better pacing, buildup, payoff and overall story structure then both manga then I strongly reccomend another Yu-Gi-Oh series, Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal.

To begin with as a disclaimer I think Yu-Gi-Oh, but especially the spinoffs post 5DS get a bad reputation. For several reasons, the dub, but also the Duel Monsters anime adaptation is kind of bad. A lot of people forget that Yu-Gi-Oh! started out as a very dark urban fantasy, or just the fact that it runs in the same magazine as MHA and JJK. Once you get over the fact that it revolves around card games, Yu-Gi-Oh is as much of a battle shonen as MHA or JJK.

If you give Zexal a chance, it has everything MHA promised us. A conflict where there's really no heroes and villains, a story about what it means to save people, and a protagonist who wants to save everyone.

Yu-Gi-Oh no Cristo!

If you want to take my word for it that Zexal is good, and avoid spoilers then don't read any further. However, I thought I'd demonstrate HOW Zexal tackles the same themes that My Hero Academia tried to tackle.

I'm going to limit this analysis to Zexal I, because while Zexal II is superior in every way I don't want to spoil the whole darn show. Zexal deconstructs the idea of what it means to save others, by having the central conflict in its first season focus on several different factions where no side is the clear good guy. it also tackles the theme of "revenge", and how no character's revenge is justified no matter how wounded they are.

Zexal has three main characters, Yuma, Kaito, and Shark. The latter two are deuteragonist, and tritagonist respectively, and vacillate between being rivals and outright antagonists. If you wanted a story where Shigaraki post My Villain Academy was basically given deuteragonist status alongside Deku then this is the story for you. From her on out I'm going to focus on the cycle of revenge and also the intertwining arcs of Yuma, Shark and Kite and how these characters develop the themes.

Before I get to the World Duel Carnival, I would be amiss to mention that Zexal has a faster start then any Yu-Gi-Oh anime barring 5DS. The introductory arc is episodic in nature, but it does two things really well, first establishing Yuma as a character and second laying the groundwork for both Shark and Kaito showing they are human beings with their own motivations even when they act as antagonists to Yuma. World Duel Carnival starts at 27, but in my opinion the real conflict starts in episode 33 with the introduction of the Tron Family.

In comparison My Hero finishes the Stain arc around episode 33, so I'd say they equally have as strong a start, and both works have introduced their main trio in that time.

With the Tron Family the secondary antagonists of the season we're finally introduced to the season's main confict of revenge. There are four factions and I'm going to take the time to explain each one's motivation before digging in deeper.

The conflict starts with the parents of the three main characters, Lord Byron Arclight (who will later return as Tron), Dr. Faker, and Kazuma Tsukumo. The three of them were studying alternate dimmensions together when Dr. Faker betrayed his two close friends. Kazuma and Lord Byron were dropped into an alternate dimmension as sacrifices to open the door between dimmensions. Kazumi did his best to try to save himself and Lord Byron, but he was unsuccesful and they both dropped out of the world.

Arclight wandered around between dimmensions, until he was eventually saved by the Barian world, a world of pure chaos kind of like the flipside of our world. However, his salvation came with a cost he was reverted from an adult man to a ten year old's body, and he also lost half of his face which is now a black hole (it's weird I'm not sure how that happened). The only thing that sustained Tron was the idea of getting revenge against Dr. Faker and now that he's returned he's determined to have it.

Tron had three sons, Michael, Thomas and Christopher. Which he renames III, IV, and V because he can't be bothered to remember their names I guess. Tron was once a very loving father and left his children behind on what was supposed to be a temporary research trip. However, their father apparently died, and Christopher the oldest was not old enough to take custody so III and IV were sent to different orphanages. At the same time Christopher was broken-hearted to learn that the man who killed his father, was the father of his student and close friend Kaito Tenjo, and ended that relationship for those reasons.

With the return of Tron the family was allowed to be back together with a now older Christopher taking custody of his brothers and now parenting his ten year old father (which is hilarious by the way). However, Tron distorted by the Barian world and his desire for revenge now uses his sons as tools in his revenge scheme against Dr. Faker. All three sons comply on the thin hope that if they complete their father's revenge, he will go back to being loving Byron Arclight. The Tron Family is a family united by revenge, but also defined by an intense family loyalty to each other, both as siblings, and to their father. While their father may not deserve it, all three sons love him deeply and would do anything to try to save him.

IV: You can't trust me that much. Just because I can't become an obedient servant to you like III and V. IV: But even so...I still also...for your sake. IV: Dad, you always smiled gently in the past. IV: But... after you returned from the parallel world it's like you had an entirely different personality. IV: Despite that we were still willing to follow you, Tron. Shark: Stop pretending to be a victim. Shark: Even if you were being used, I won't forgive you for what you did.

Which dovetails nicely into the conflict between Shark and IV. IV, obeying his father's orders challenged Shark's sister to a duel in a building that later blew up. He knew about the first part, but not the second, but still is somewhat responsible despite his ignorance. He did his best to save Shark's sister from the flames getting scarred in the process, but she was left comatose.

Soon after, IV engineered Shark's disgrace as a duelist, by purposefully letting his cards fall on the ground so Shark could see them during a tournament so he'd be disqualified for taking a peek.

All of these under his father's orders to turn Shark into yet another tool of revenge against Dr. Faker, as a wildcard to be pointed in Faker's direction. IV further antagonizes him by giving him a Numbers Card knowing that the darkness of the Numbers card will soon possess him in order to further his father's scheme. He also just wants to flat out defeat Shark so he can prove to his father he's more useful.

Shark looks like the clear victim in this situation, but his complete lack of sympathy for IV is total hypocrisy. Because, Shark is also only after revenge for what was done to him and his sister. Shark was hurt by IV's revenge, but Shark will also attack completely innocent people, including Yuma, just to get his revenge against IV. Shark is the aggrieved victim, but he fights only for revenge not to save someone and he just does not care for anyone other than his sister, himself and Yuma to an extent. Unlike IV, who has the added motivation of saving someone, and also is self-aware that he did something wrong that he can't take back.

Shark is very much a case of "well, my revenge is different from your revenge" somehow, and it makes him look like a hypocrite. Which is why Shark wavers between being an anti-hero and an anti-villain, because in spite of his mroe heroic qualities and his friendship with Yuma he pretty consistently is only motivated to duel for revenge and not for saving others like Yuma is and the show is clear on it's themes of "there is no such thing as a justified revenge."

Shark does not get his revenge, in fact the same way IV is manipulated to pointing his anger at Shark, Shark gets manipulated by Tron to pointing all of his anger at Yuma. Yuma basically has to act as the punching bag, in order to try to calm Shark down again and in Shark's own words even if you were being used, I won't forgive you for what you did.

Shark won't forgive IV, but he ends up committing the exact same unforgivable acts, and by his own logic manipulation is not an excuse.

Now that we've introduced Shark as the wildcard, the last faction is Dr. Faker's. Kaito and Dr. Faker both are fighting to save Haruto, Faker's second son and Kaito's little brother. Here is the twist with Dr. Faker's betrayal he's presented as a "I did everything for power" type of villain, but he's actually doing everything to save his son from dying and is willing to backstab his closest friends to do so, and turn his son Kaito into a pawn. There's an added layer of complication where Dr. Faker is legitimately using his son as a pawn, but much like the Tron Siblings, Kaito is also willing to comply because saving Haruto is just as important to him.

Kaito is a numbers hunter who rips out the souls of people in order to reclaim numbers cards from them, something which ages them and leaves them completely comatose. Kaito also blatantly says on several occasions, he doesn't care how many people he has to hurt to save his brother. So Kaito's motivations aren't revenge like Tron's, but he's also just as willing to get innocent people involved. He even attacks Shark once who didn't even have a number card, simply for GETTING IN THE WAY when he was trying to steal Yuma's key.

Kaito's not just an "I'll do anything to save my brother" type of character, he actively does not care about how many victims he creates along the way.

KAITO: You're wrong. Just one person matters to me. I only care about Hart.

And he sure does mean that. His own allies? Don't matter. His former friend Christopher? Doesn't care. Yuma who actively wants to save Hart too? Get out of the way bucko.

YUMA: Kaito, Droite fought desperately against Tron for your sake. YUMA: Droite liked y- KAITO: That's none of your concern.

Kite's obsession with saving his brother is all-consuming, and even ignores that Haruto does not want Kaito hurting himself for his sake, because it is just as much about Kaito as it is about Haruto.

Kaito also clashes with V from the Tron Family, and is deeply hurt by the fact that V will make punching bags out of both Kite and Haruto in order to get revenge against their father.

However, Kaito who has at this point put several people in comas in order to save his brother (the exact same motivation V has for his father and two younger brothers) is a complete hypocrite in this regard.

V: Friend you say? V: But that ideal was completely wrecked by Dr. Faker. V: Could you forgive that person's son? V: When I realized the truth, I... KAITO: Enough of this nonsense.

I'm sure none of the people Kaito put in comas had brothers, and they all kicked puppies when no one was looking. Even after Kaito realizes that Christopher was only trying to save his family the same way that he was, and promises to inherit his feelings, he forgets all about that when dueling Tron.

Kaito's one and only loss in the whole series comes from when he loses himself to revenge against Tron after he provoked him one too many times by tormenting Haruto. Once again, no matter what the reason revenge is never justified in Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal!

Tron: You're right I have no emotions. Droite and Shark... I was willing to even use my sons in order to create rage. Kaito: Say what? Tron: You did pretty well, too! You get angrier and angrier when it comes to Haruto. It's all thanks to you, have a look.

As much as Kaito would like to make a martyr of himself, he is just like the Tron siblings, just like Shark, an angry little kid lashing out against innocent people for the pain both him and his brother has suffered. Even kaito who has the most explicit desire to save someone, succumbs to revenge in the end when he's pushed.

The tragedy of season 1 is that basically every faction involved has a case of "my revenge is more important than your revenge, and my loved ones are more important than your loved ones". Even though both the Tron Family, and Kaito are fighting to save their families, neither of them ever backs down or considers the other side's motivations because THEIR PAIN is more important.

The last faction of the story is Yuma's, and as stated above Yuma is the only one who attempts to see his opponent's side. Yuma's central motto is "if we've dueled each other, then we're already friends." He also believes that duels should never be used as tools for hurting each other, something Shark, Kaito and the Tron Family all gleefully do in their conflict against one another.

Yuma is a deconstructoin of the "save everyone" because while he is involved in the conflict too because he lost his father to Dr. Faker, unlike the other three factions he has a support system. He still has his grandmother and sister, childhood friends, friends at school and Astral.

This fact is explicitly called out in his duel against III who by that point Yuma considers a friend. III spends a day with Yuma, bonding with him over their shared love of archaelogy, seeing his family and home life, only to turn against him.

Yuma tries to reach out to III the entire time through the duel and talk him down, and it doesn't work because Yuma with his support system, cannot truly understand where III is coming from and the desperation that drives him. Yuma's not caught in the same rock and hard place that III is, and all the sympathy and good intentions in the world cannot overcome the difference between that.

Yuma also in spite of his desire to solve things peacefully is basically forced to still fight, because if he loses a duel his close personal friend Astral will die, so it's actively a challenge for him to seek the third way to settle things without contributing to the cycle of revenge.

So Yuma represents the correct path, forgiveness and understanding the other's point of view, but it also shows that Yuma is able to do that because unlike everyone else he has a support system. Yuma is not internally more good than Shark, Kite, or the rest. He's just in a place where he can afford to look at the other people's perspectives because he's not desperately fighting for survival.

It's also a challenge for him to do so, because Yuma is someone very immature. As I said with III he does not understand the depths of what they are feeling even if he wants to make the pain go away. He tries to offer his unwavering support to people, but he fails just as often as he succeeds due to his immaturity.

In Yuma's case it's less being a perfect hero, but rather making an unrelenting effort to help others and offer a hand that matters. Yuma's character development in season 1 for me crystallizes in his final redemption of Tron, the character besides Faker who makes him the most angry because of his gleeful abuse of his sons for the sake of revenge. Not only does Yuma start to get through to Tron at points in the duel, because he tries so hard to make Tron understand how much he's hurt his sons, but at the end of the duel he mirrors his father's own action of trying to save both himself and Byron Arclight I mentioned at the beginning of this post.

Yuma: I won't give up! Tron: But why? Why are you trying to save me? Yuma: It's obvious, isn't I? Everyone I duel are my friends. Yuma: I don't understand all that complicated stuff, but we create bonds through dueling. And since you dueled me you are my friend. Tron: I finally understand. Your dueling goes beyond my desire for revenge. Yuma I can't live the same way as you and Kazuma, but I can't let Dr. Faker go either. I'll release all the souls I captured.

Yuma does represent the themes of love, and understanding being the only way to heal revenge (because more revenge does not fix anything) but he's not just propped up as a saint by the narrative. He's a character who has to go through serious character development before he's finally able to back up his good intentions with actual concrete action.

Yuma isn't just good internally, but rather his constant efforts to find the third path, and befriend other people is what makes him the hero of the story. Yuma is Deku done right and I will stand by this.

I hope I've been able to demonstrate the themes of Zexal, and I would be amiss to mention this is just Zexal I. Zexal II the second season does all of this even better. The Barians are an even better version of the League of Villains because despite starting a war with the main characters, they are all sympathetic and their point of view is just as valid as Astral and Yuma's. I don't want to spoil Zexal II though, so if anything about Zexal I caught your eye I reccomend watching both series.

[captaindamianos]

Hi! Can you recommend some good Captive Prince fics? I just finished the series and I loved Laurent so much

Hi anon!! Welcome to the fandom 🤗

I've considered doing a fic rec post for a long time so this is a perfect opportunity for me. Please forgive me for the delay. It was Eurovision week when you sent this and it was (and still is) incredibly distracting for me.

Here are some of my favorites, I'm going to offer a variety of things, because I absolutely love AUs, all variations of them, but I know that's not everyone's cup of tea and immediately after finishing the series people tend to like canon and canon-divergent the most, so I'll try to focus on those:

Canon Divergence:

Ransomed Prince by Turtletotem

I started reading this fic back when I still was in the fandom and I absolutely loved it. When I rejoined in 2021, the last few chapters got posted and I've reread it like 10 times already. Please heed the warnings but I just really enjoy the development of their relationship in this fanfic.

Winged Cupid Painted Blind by Kittendiamore

A lot of scheming from Laurent, which is always a good time in my book. It's been a bit since I've read it, but I always enjoyed it.

No Rush by blacktofade

One of my favorite things are Auguste lives AUs were they meet under different circumstances. This is one of my absolute favorites of those and I've read it again and again.

When the sun is on again by thickenmyblood

I've read this story once and it absolutely destroyed me. I was not okay for a few days haha. It's still one of the most amazing things I've ever read. So I would still recommend it, but be careful.

An Arranged Marriage by Josselin

The slow build of this one, I absolutely love rereading it every few months.

Bright as lightning by blacktofade

Another arranged marriage AU haha. Please trust me on this, this is such a good story.

sanguinary poultice, love charm by Lapin

God this is so good, nothing really to say besides do yourself a favor and read it.

How To Not Court A Veretian Prince by Entity_Sylvir

It's been a while with this one as well but I know it was one of my favorites.

Canon Compliant:

The Consummation by Josselin

I have to admit it's been a while since I've read this one. But I know that I really enjoyed it, and it's a very real depiction on how this could go and how the unification will likely have its hurdles.

Wicked Game by onekingdomonce

An anmesia fic, that I've read at least twice. It's painful, but it's worth it. I can recommend everything by that author that is Damen/Laurent. I've not really read any of the other pairings, because i don't multiship Damen and Laurent.

Alternative Universe:

four sevens and a ten by fahye

I know people tend to recommend Fahye's everything (their ´Lines On Palms' series and their tumblr ficlets (link 1 link 2) in particular). But I've grown up absolutely adoring the Swan princess movie, so this one sticks out to me personally. It's a lot darker than the movie, and it has it's very own narrative and development. But god do I love and recommend it.

The Veretian Flytrap by Just_Another_Day

Technically this feels very very canon divergent to me, but since the whole story is Omegaverse I'm putting it here. I know a lot of people don't enjoy Omegaverse fanfics, which is totally valid. But this fanfiction is one of my favorites in this fandom of all time. The world building, the character development, the culmination of it all. I adore it, I reread it every few months and I can't recommend it enough.

A Touch of Heavenly Light by forthelongesttime

I would recommend reading everything by this author. I am absolutely in love with their writing. I like how realistic they write and how they don't shy away from facing ugly things as well. This story in particular is dark and I urge you to check the warnings. It's not for everyone, which is why I recommend checking out their entire list of fics. But if the warnings don't scare you, please check it out!

Alternative Universe - Modern:

between the motion and the act by fahye

And to be contrary once more, I'm also recommending another one of fahye's AUs haha. I really liked this show, and I think it's an amazing fit for a modern AU for Damen & Laurent. Fahye just has an absolute talent for putting them into alternate universes and make them believable to me.

Fear not the thorns by relenafanel

Back then written by one of my favorite Stucky writers, I still absolutely adored it when I reread it in 2021. I definetely recommend checking it out if modern AUs are your thing.

A few authors I'd like to recommend in general:

idratherhaveyou (lots of different AUs, all of them a pleasure to read)

PenguinMerchant (again a lot of different AUs and settings. The worldbuilding is immaculate and always leaves me in awe. All of those AUs also fit them so well.)

Holly_Golightly (one of my favorite unfinished wips in this fandom, I'm still holding out hope haha but everything else they've written was absolutely amazing as well. Very spicey usually. Can't recommend them enough.)

elesary (Can you tell I love AUs yet?? Some are canon compliant or canon divergent, but I especially adore their modern AUs.)

ahdriking (another one of my favorite wips - hardest of hearts - and also just a lot of really spicey stuff, but god, so good.)

[banavalope]

Hello, I'm a Homestuck and Good Omens fan and just saw your post about coffee. I came to the Homestuck fandom way late, though, and don't know what the coffee theory was. I was wondering if you'd be willing to share that story from the trenches if it's not too traumatic :)

I'll preface by saying, this all happened near about the time I began to step away from Homestuck, as this was late 2011 to early 2012. My recollection could very well be missing some juicier deets, because I always managed to avoid the worst of it. In all I had a pretty benign time floating about the Homestuck fandom, I'll say that. My knowledge is as a fly's.

If you want the short version: once upon a time, the Homestuck fandom was so stupid it had discourse over the way coffee was drawn in a single panel, because the stylistic choice used to show the way cheap potted coffee has that oil slick sheen on the top Really got the gamerz thinking Gamzee was putting troll blood in the coffee.

The long version is this: this Act was annoying. All the Acts had been annoying, there'd been rather more than six of them so far. The fandom's toxicity was at its most potent, and the main fandom exodus hadn't happened yet. But the stylistic choice brewing on page 4702 of A6I2 suggested a discourse was on the horizon, and it was the size of planet fucking Jupiter.

To understand the affairs of 2011/12 Homestucks, a few things are important to mention: first, nobody enjoyed Act 6. Ask anyone from the tumblr era First Wave, we all agreed that Cascade would have been a better place to start wrapping up the comic as a whole. When Act 6 opened introducing the alpha kids, a whole new plot derivative, and we all realized we'd have to go through the same slog again, that the story wasn't over, the collective exhaustion was palpable. SWATHS left unhappy; worse yet (for some), the alpha kids brought us away from the game of SBURB and the over-aching plot, to instead place our focus on their interpersonal relationships. It was a bad time to take your audience away from a well crafted climax.

Reading it now as a completed work makes this not so bad, because the book is wrote. You can consume it as a finished piece and clearly interpret a through line for yourself, start to finish. Skip it even, if you want. When you've no idea at what time the next update will come, while all the pieces remain necessary to tell the story, any pacing is bad pacing.

Second, while Homestucks are known for many things - all of them cringe - the one that goes overlooked most, in spite of the ripple effect we still feel from it today in every corner, is the sheer amount of over analyzing done to the story itself. Every panel, every inch of every pixel, was a part of a puzzle we all collectively made up. Theorizing was an integral part to the Update Culture era of Homestuck's fandom, that we Figure Out the Story, you had to be the one who predicted what came next. Impressive how none of us came up with some kind of fandom Nobel Peace Prize, for how much we lauded it as a lifetime achievement.

I'll give you, Homestuck does have a very rich narrative. Much of it, I'll favor, is even intentional. It made worldbuilding choices captivating enough to get people painting themselves grey, for fun, so surely it had a few right ideas in some places. And there's nothing wrong about analyzing your media, picking apart its references to tie together a background story, even if it's just one you make up based on how you experienced reading it. That's kind of the whole point of consuming art. It's to be discussed, share your personal conclusions on. Theory is the breath of creativity.

It's the whole part about wanting to be right, where Homestucks as a collective force wanted to start eating each other alive on the spot. We were fucking OBNOXIOUS with theory posting. I'll be honest with you, I really ate that kind of thing up, and even I was getting annoyed. People were beginning to stretch, likely to cope with becoming bored.

Finally, the sober Gamzee controversy. This came about a while before coffeegate, but the effect the inciting update had on Homestucks is comparable to a haunting. It was fucking chernobyl, and a bad day to be a nuclear scientist because now it was your problem. Vriska fans - equally insufferable, as we all were by some respect[1] - and Gamzee fans fought with each other VEHEMENTLY, just to see whos gang was better. Keep that in the background of your mind as the theme music to what's playing. Everyone was anxiously wondering what had happened to Gamzee, because for the last several some-odd panels, we'd lost the boy. He was full of murderous intent, we were down to precious few characters on the meteor left, and we'd lost the boy.

So here we are. It's 2011. We're standing now at the end of the world, we've lost the boy for several panels, and finally the plot is trying to move along. We're all tired, and irritated, and divorced, doing this song and dance one more time but god willing the LAST TIME, when a joke about the look of shitty potted coffee gets made.

And some harbinger of the fucking apocalypse takes to tumblr dot com, drafting up a post about how Gamzee - living in the meteor walls - is putting troll blood into the coffee. Because, otherwise, how is Kanaya as a rainbow drinker doing so fine? Dave called the taste metallic, like blood. Something something long forgotten theories about trolls blood here something something. People would chime in to say "that's just how coffee looks", somehow it dissolved into actual discourse of people violently discussing back and forth how it could ONLY BE BLOOD, because coffee drawn in a prior panel UPDATES AGO didn't have the film on top, only now AFTER SOBER GAMZEE. Etcetera. It was just the worst case of reading too hard into something that you done ever did see.

Shortly following this, many people who were already growing exhausted with Homestuck's narrative direction at this point decided to take this coffee theory as their sign the flood was coming and to board the ark or learn how to swim. Anyone who learned to swim subsequently left during the exodus of 2015.

Again, my memory is pretty hazy. Thanks to Requiem Cafe, surprisingly difficult to google these days. Certainly another old still following me will have something more to add that I'm forgetting, as your handy dandy unreliable narrator.

[1] Said the Eridan fan.

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c5. preview

simon riley x original character.

abstract: hi this is Simon. okay, before you read this, I'm gonna say this once and never repeat it again. maybe she was right. don't tell her I told you, and don't you dare even remember anything I said in this stupid chapter. 

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs, awful deaths.

song to listen to when reading this: Heartbeat, Childish Gambino.

He had thought about Jude quite a bit. He knew nothing about her, but she made an impression on him. She was interesting. He wanted to know if she was still angry at him, for what he said. He thought a lot if he had been too rude, and he always settled on a no. He had fun, played a bit, picked a little fight. He was sure she could handle it, she didn't seem like the type to get offended easily.

He made it a mission to find out things about her. He wanted to know if she still lived in that apartment he saw a year prior, the layout of her house. Did she live alone? Maybe she had a boyfriend. How old was she? Knowing so little about this girl drove him mad. She had an intriguing presence, she was captivating. And she always seemed to crash important events. This time she didn't bother knocking on the briefing room door. She came straight in. This time she really looked like death.

'He didn't show up' she said, not waiting for anyone to speak.

Jude interrupted him, and frankly, ha quite hoped she would. 'I'm going with them'. Him and Price spoke at the same time 'You're not'. We're not out here playing spies. She didn't flinch. 'I am!'

'You're gonna tell us if you see him, 'kay?' he instructed, strapping his vest tighter on his chest. 'Sure'. They were passing by a few shops, a gas station, a mechanic shop. 'How long have you been working here?' Gaz was really interested into making conversation hu? Simon was driving silently, his foot lingering on the brakes just in case he spotted something. 'Two years' she replied. Her tone was soft unlike when she had talked to him. Her voice was warm. Not really the time to get to know each other, guys...

notes: hi... I'm very tired. I've been thinking about LIFE a lot lately. I've worked all weekend (waitressing) I'm still trying to deal with having a million exams, my ex is messaging me and I don't like one of my girlfriends anymore. life feels weird these days. I can't really get which emotions I'm feeling. I feel like I've neglected this story, I'm still posting chapters that I wrote months ago but I will have to continue at some point... and I love this story and I love Jude and I want to continue, it's 9.11 pm and I'm ready for bed guys I'm not playing with you. I'm sorry if chapter four was a bit shit. and I don't have a picture for chapter 5, I promise I will make one asap. and try not to explode. have a good night/day, full chapter on Saturday!

love, mare.

taglist:

@ummmmmwat @ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me

[schizoidcel]

don’t worry, i’ll send you asks! sinclair x a reader who has bpd? they’re aware of their symptoms, and they’re afraid of scaring him on accident! they’re a sweetie and they love him, they’re just self-conscious y’know?

## SINCLAIR x READER WHO HAS BPD ★

i love you anon 😘😘😘 kissy and hugs my love

🤍 ﹒ HEADCANONS !! . .

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

He would probably find out by you accidently letting it slip out during a conversation, you get the sudden intrusive thought to tell him or telling him you suffer from it during a rant session

If you accidently let it slip out, he'd let it be. although he definitely would second guess questioning you further about it, but it'd take awhile, since hes scared shitless of confrontation

So if you ever just told him it directly, he'd be way more relieved.

But now is the downside that he just dosen't know how to respond exactly ..

He read about personality disorders in his school once, and he has a very faint memory of what BPD is, but he still isn't sure how to respond.

In the end, he just goes "Oh." (not in a bad way) . and after a few seconds of trying to figure out what else to say to that, he asks if there's any triggers for you he should be aware of, and then that was it

He'd go looking into the disorder more, but besides that he won't really mention anything about it, because he thinks it's not a topic that should be brought up all the time

He probably would get overwhelmed if you ever had an episode. Again, he's not good with confrontation, and when he sees you breaking down infront of him whether that be from the inside or the outside he wouldn't know what to do

But it's you, so he'll try atleast

You can notice how tense and fidgety is, yet you can also notice how his stuttering voice is turning soft, and if you allow him to touch you, you can feel how careful he is with his movements

If you ever yelled at him he'd be scared to death, it's a natural reaction

He convinced himself he'd be prepared for the day you maybe would have a breakdown even before you told him you had bpd

Yet now that it's infront of him it's. Well. Another story.

Although Sinclair does get through it (forces himself to because he loves you that much), and attempts to talk with you and reassure your worries away

After something like this happens, he decides it might be best to question you directly on how your experience with the disorder is, since everybodys experience is different, and a simple book on the topic won't tell the story for everybody

It takes him abit of mental preparation to ask you, but he manages, and you comply, telling him how it is for you

He puts your words in mental (and physical) notes, and it shows from his actions that he now notices the smallest things that irk you

Aside from now him reminding you to take your medication once in awhile, nothing in the relationship would change that much

Sinclair is still the abit awkward and tense but darling man you love and care about, and you're still his affectionate and captivating s/o he holds dear

i dont have bpd (but i have another personality disorder lol) but i tried i hope its ok :heart: also apologies that this was so late HKPEL

ૢ་༘࿐ thank you for reading ! Ⳋ᧙

[monster-fluffery]

Monster Lover Book Review!(18+)

“Whispers of the Deep” and “Song of the Abyss”

Author: Emma Hamm

Book Length: 381 Pages

SPOILER WARNING!!

Description on the Back - Whispers of the Deep

“One of the many engineers that keeps Beta, the city under the sea, running, Mira only wants to make her family proud and to prove herself worthy. She knows the mysterious city better than anyone and it’s her dream to help it flourish.

But then, on a solo job in an abandoned section of the city, she encounters a monster of legend. An undine. A dangerous merman from an ancient civilization, long forgotten.

Arges has fought his entire life for his people. With deadly creatures under his control, he plans to eradicate Beta once and for all to protect his kind and their peaceful way of life. But when a human woman saves him, she unknowingly creates a bond between them, one he can’t ignore. Even though her flaming red hair haunts his dreams, he needs her for information on the undine’s enemies.

So he steals her. Keeps her. Feeds her. Only to realize their bond is far deeper than captor and captive. He cannot let her go—but he cannot keep her under the sea. In a battle to determine if love can survive a war beneath the waves, it will be their decision that changes the tides.”

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

My Rating

5 Stars!

Why do I like it so much?

This is actually my favorite book series! It was the third monster lover book I had picked up. Compared to the others, it dialed back on the “spice” and it focused heavily on the characters, their differences, the stories before each other, and both sides of the coin are developed in a very intricate way! You can tell the author has put her heart and soul into her works. For a good portion of the book, Arges and Mira couldn’t even speak to each other. Yet, even with the communication barrier.. All of their interactions were interesting! I’ve never finished a book so fast in my life.

Not only this, but the book itself is made beautifully. The author is against AI artwork (as far as I’m aware) and all of the artwork within her books are commissioned from other artists! From the covers, to the inner cover, and every chapter page has a sketch of the pairing involved with beautiful decor. Her books are pretty to look at and the stories are so interesting that it doesn’t take away from the focus!

I also really enjoyed the technology of the setting Mira came from. She is from an underwater city called “Beta” and there are other underwater cities we will and have seen in other books so far! The way the author describes each setting is utterly captivating. Not to mention, our protagonist is accompanied by a little robot programmed with its own emotions! It’s magnificently written and charming!

I also really like the detail of the species of merman themselves. The merfolk call themselves “People of Water” while the humans call them Undines. The merfolk also call humans “Achromos”. This was another detail I very much enjoyed!

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

Numerical Ratings

Storyline: 9/10

Interaction: 10/10

World Building: 10/10

Spiciness Rating (Amount): 5/10

Spiciness Rating (Enjoyment): 10/10

Would I read it again? ABSOLUTELY.

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

What about the Other Book(s)?

All I can say about this is that the 2nd book is just as good, if not even better than the first! If you enjoy Whispers of the Deep.. You will enjoy Song of the Abyss!

Not only this.. but the 3rd book will be available in November of 2024!

There may or may not be a 4th book planned as well if I’m remembering correctly!

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

Where can I buy/read this Book?

These books are available on

🪼Emma Hamm’s Website

🪼Amazon

🪼Emma Hamm’s Tik Tok Shop

Formats of Book

🪼Paperback/Hardcover (I recommend!)

🪼E-Book/Kindle

🪼Audio Book

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

Emma Hamm’s Website

I hope you enjoy! Feel free to Recommend Books! 🪼

[hiemaldesirae]

Question: how would your characterization of demon Alastor react to finding out for the last 60+ years that what he thought was Vox breaking up with him was actually Demon!Valentino drugging/r**ping him with his venom/aphrodisiac and Vox has No memory of what he and Alastor actually had? No memory of anything except maybe the last month? And to find out Valentino only did this so Vox (who was becoming a TV mogul) would put his pornos on the tv. How would he help Vox remember? What would he do to Valentino? Would Velvette also suffer?

okay so. nonny, i wont blame you for not knowing, especially since ive never explicitly talked about it on main, but for future reference, im not that big on the whole abusive staticmoth dynamic. i can see why others enjoy it, and i do read stories with it from time to time simply because the premise captivates me that much, but in general id say i much more prefer a version where val and vox are at the very least best friends if not crossing into the sort of blurry best friends who smooch sometimes territory.

now having said that, i'll still answer your question because again, not very fair of me to just brush you off for no reason when i never made my preferences clear beforehand. (this gets long, so i'll leave a readmore.) warning: my demon radiostatics are always freak4freak no matter what. so this does get a little iffy in terms of ethics

my favourite interpretation of radiostatic is two sickos who are just as closely obsessed with each other, so in the unlikely case that al would let vox go for that long, when he realizes again the first thing he's going to do is go and. well. for lack of a better term, atticwife him (i hope to god this isn't just a term used in east asian fandoms because if i have to explain this ill eat lead). maybe after a little bit of time, he'll allow vox some liberties, but even then it'd be very little. ill put it this way- imagine the most toxic irl relationship you can: someone who tracks and micromanages their partners every move, barely lets them outside the house without going with them, monitors every friendship that they allow their partner to have, and there you have it. thats radiostatic! ah, young love. so sweet, dont you think? after all, alastor can't risk his muse's eyes slipping off him again. he's been deprived of that attention for far too long, and it wasn't even by his own doing! that's an offense in and of itself.

now im assuming that its only val who's doing the exploitation here so presumably vel would have no hand in any of the mess, and perhaps not even be fully aware of the nuances behind the scenes. i mean, it wouldn't really matter either way because once alastor finds out the reason why his other half hasnt been reciprocating their insane little song and dance he's getting rid of any and all obstacles, permanently. vox doesnt need anyone else so long as he has him- and hey, he was friends with him, rosie and husk first, so its not even as if its much of a loss. the only people he'd presumably leave alive would be voxs own contracted souls, and even then thats a bit of a gamble depending on just how bad i want the both of them to be: without his contracted souls, vox would be weaker and more susceptible to whatever alastor wants, so i guess its a matter of whether or not i want the freak4freak relationship where theyre both equally strong but vox willingly submits because he gets more thrill out of it that way or whether i want freak4freak where vox has to struggle way harder and still ends up giving in anyway because al is simply stronger

as for what he'd actually *do* to val. i mean. he does still have that radio broadcast of his, doesn't he? i think you can probably put the pieces together. the thing with animal sinners is that theres simply so many parts of them to break... show-wise, i never understood how overlords like alastor or val could even rise to their position, with the amount of weak spots they must have. that broken antenna vox and val share is certainly something that speaks to their higher vulnerability. and moth wings are especially fragile: i owned little silkworm moths at one point (they were my babies, i loved them for the month or so i got to care for them) but their wings were so thin they were wearing holes in them by the second or third day. val's coat-wings look much thicker in comparison, but of course, my perception is limited by the show only. so i mean, who knows? im sure whatever happens, itll make the best entertainment in al's eyes :)

[makedonsgriva]

Hi again @makedonsgriva . If you don't mind me asking, can I ask, what are your top 7 favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series/etc) and your top 7 favorite ships (can be canon or non canon) from any media? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this questions before and if I ask too much.....

Hi @dnana-2809-blog !!! Thank you for the ask. I don’t mind answering your questions at all and you are always welcome to send more asks in my inbox ^_^

Top 7 favorite media (in no particular order)

1. Attack On Titan

I can never ever move on from this story. The plot twists??? The characters??? Zero fan service and filler episodes and being just straight to the point??? And the PLOT!?! HELLO??? THE PLOT IS SO GODDAMN GOOD????

Attack on Titan is truly a fantastic story about war, humanity, sacrifice and above all, love. On the surface level, it seems like every other shonen anime out there but its depth is truly incomparable. No media I’ve watched comes close to it.

2. Captive Prince Trilogy

I think I read this series for the first time back in 2018-19 and it absolutely rocked my world??? I reread it almost every year now because holy shit??? I’ve never read a better enemies to forced allies to friends to lovers to divorced but forced allies to lovers to im gonna die for this man???

Also the plot??? CS Pacat knew how hard they cooked and ate with Captive Prince. The world building, the characters, the plot twists, politics, the drama??? I M M A C U L A T E.

I highly recommend it to everyone who has not read it but please check the trigger warnings for this trilogy before you start.

(Pls let me know the artist yall so I can edit this and credit the artist!)

3. Carry On Trilogy

I don’t think I’ve ever been as emotionally attached to a series as I’ve been to Carry On. Like Simon, Baz and Penny were exactly who I needed as an awkward teen dealing with a lot of bs. I saw this trilogy being completed in front of my eyes. I can’t tell you how healing and rewarding it was for me to read Any Way The Wind Blows. 2020 was the most horrific, heartbreaking nightmare for me and I think a part of me healed when I read AWTWB in 2021. When I saw that Simon and Baz were going to be okay, I understood that I would okay too. It wasn’t going to be easy, but it would happen.

Sorry I think I got too personal but I just have so much love for this series and the way it showed healing and love and friendship. It’s so special to me ❤️

4. Tian Guan Ci Fu

A very recent addition but I just know it’s going to be one of those series I’m going to spend the rest of my life loving. I’m such a sucker for stories that are, at the end of the day, about love. About knowing how vicious and shitty this world is but being kind is what makes all the difference. About learning from past mistakes and about making a future, no matter how late that future comes.

It also gave me Xie Lian. You guys don’t understand just how much I love Xie Lian. I can go to war for that man, okay. I can follow him through hell. I will protect that man with my life.

5. The Good Place

It’s been a while since I watched this show but I do remember just how deeply it impacted me and permanently altered my brain chemistry.

The characters were all so unique and coming from such different backgrounds and with really interesting backstories. The growth we witnessed for them over the four seasons was phenomenal. Especially for Eleanor. And Michael. God I fucking love Michael.

Everything about this show was top notch. I think I will need to make a whole separate post talking about the philosophy of this show. I think this is one of those shows that everyone needs to watch at least once in their life.

6. Fleabag

Fleabag will always be superior. The main character is one of my all time favorites and I think it tells a really great, bittersweet story of coming to terms with your own flaws. It’s a story about life but not the entirety of it because we just get to witness a very small portion of Fleabag’s life. Her mistakes are colossal but her life is too big to be defined by it. Yes she is a raging cunt but yes I love her to death and her story too. The humour, the fourth wall breaking, the emotions… all of it make fleabag the amazing show it is.

7. Yuri On Ice

My first anime ever. The feelings it gave me is incomparable to any other. News of its movie cancellation was beyond devastating.

(As I type it out, the theme song is playing in my head..)

I can’t begin to emphasise just how important this anime is for queer representation in mainstream anime because while this anime is about ice skating, yes, above all it’s about love. How it makes us better, how it brings out the best version of ourselves, how it sustains and pushes us forward. And that love just so happens to be between two men. It’s just so heartwarming.

It was so so important for me as a young queer person still struggling with their identity and wanting to fit in. Yuri On Ice was so important for me and still is.

(Fuck I miss Yuri and Viktor)

As this post has already got too long, I will answer your ship question in a separate post! I will make sure to tag you when I do :)

[weirdcat1213]

Hi....If you don't mind me asking, can I ask, what are your top 7 favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series/etc) and your top 7 favorite (fictional) characters from any media? Why do you love them all? Sorry if you've answered this questions before......

Hello :D

omg i get to yell about things I like, exciting!

first im going to go with my top 7 in no special order cuz I would never be able to decide

Trigun (98, manga and stampede): I've talked WAY to much about this one but holy shit has impacted my life. The story, the characters, the pain THE SWEET SWEET PAIN MY GOD. It just mixes a lot of tropes/themes I really like. And we have 3 versions of it! How cool is that?

Steven Universe: again another classic. Discovered the show when I was young and it just grabbed my soul. Very formative and influential while I was growing up. So soft and p a i n f u l l as all thins should be :3. Plus the music is a banger. Like to this day ik songs from it. Favorite one is change btw.

Legend series (book series): no one paid attention to this series because it came out the same time as divergent and hunger games and other big titles. But I was! And it's still one of the best book series I've ever read. It totally has the 2013-2015 vibes (except for the latest one in the series, rebel) but it's....honest. not only because all the struggles in the book are real but also because the author really believes in her characters. She created them but also let them become people. Plus the writing is amazing and her description of specific moments and emotions UGH I have a huge post about it because of how cool it is. I still remember opening the first book and getting SLAPPED by the first line. Yes it's that good.

Signalis: newish game :D saw lesbians, saw violence and I was on board but I never thought the game would make me think and stare at the wall that much. So far I've played it 5 times and going for a 6th. It's so abstract and no one can decide on what's true or not but that's part of its beauty. Really clever and interesting game. Nothing is real, only lesbians with guns.

Our Flag Means Death: cool show that was about queer NOT IN THEIR TEENAGE YEARS??? IN THIS ECONOMY??? AND NOT ABOUT AIDS (sorry pose I still love you). Of course it won me over because of the queerness but also the characters themselves. It was nice to see myself in a lot of them, personality and racially wise. The fun gay pirates came to my house, destroyed my life and also gave me life. Easy as that.

Pose fx: don't like the main writer of the show too much but the rest of them ATE WITH THIS. A story about black queer woman PORTRAYED BY BLACK QUEER WOMEN. It deals with the aids crisis through the lenses of trans women and gay men but the thing in that show that blew me away was the love for femininity and the community they created around it. They actually took their abandoned and traumatized selves and became someone. They formed families that actual give support and I'm a sucker for found family. I've cried many times because I wanted Blanca to adopt me. 10/10 show about overcoming shit circumstances and the importance of community. What if I cried again.

Houseki no Kuni (manga and anime): weird manga that I've been following for YEARS because its so fucking good. The anime is beautiful and captivating af and honestly the whole thing needs to be analyzed by a Buddhist. it makes me want to learn about that religion so i can understand more. but yeah its sad, its hype, and once again its about gay rock MMM my favorite. you dont know the hours i spent looking for videos/animatic about it. hard to explain but i like to describe it as "human growth: the manga/anime"

Maybe it seems like I don't watch many movies and it's kinda true! I'm more of a shows person. but there are movies i like. maybe another day

Now onto my favorite characters but again I can't decide so this is in no special order. Also because I can't decide I'm giving the spotlight to characters that are not from the media mentioned above (for example if you dont see vash in here is because i yell about him enough like. 3 times minimum per month). Because I can. Because I'm normal about media and stories i like.

1.Steven (su): MY BOY MY MOON AND STARS. ok a lot of this list is about characters i relate to, but this one is the og. this mf is one of the kindest, awesome yet misunderstood characters of all time. theres so much rage and trauma in this little guy but there are many other feelings that get lowkey explored in the main show until BOOM the emotions explode in su future. its amazing how complex my son is. im so lucky that i got to grow up along side him in a way. and in another way it was nice to see myself kinda represented in him? fun times.

2.Tifa (ffvii): PRETTY RECENT BUT SHES THE COOLEST. ejem sorry. i love cloud, zach and the others from the game but tifa doesnt get the recognition she deserves. she survived so many tragedies and became stronger because of it. not only in body but also in mind. however she also became cautious and tries to not explode in front of others. she tries to be a safe place for people, even when shes scared. i think thats pretty admirable of her. i would say more but i dont want to risk spoiling the game but there are little moments and scenes where she just tries to be there for people because she has no one in her life anymore and fuck it makes me sad. also shes pretty hot-

3.Elektra (pose): MY QUEEN. shes just. evil sometimes. shes really a bitch to most of the characters but DAMN SHES COOL WHEN SHE IS. elektra knows she was born with a huge disadvantage in life so she grabs power like a mf and bites it. i kinda aspire to be that, to not let anyone get in my way. she just really speaks to the part of me that has bigger ambitions. but shes also smart and caring (when shes not being a bitch) and every time the world puts her down she stands up and kicks the world again. she's the power of femininity itself and yes i also think shes hot (i mean look at those cheeks of thunder) but shes like a fucking storm in a person and how i can not love that? We love poc people in power.

4.Phos (houseki no kuni): This fucking child (they're a child in my eyes) is so important to me for weird reasons. I got deep into hnk when I was in my sabbatical year. It was a time where I didn't know where I would go and phos seemed to be in a similar place. To this day it surprises me how ichikawa managed to create a "simple" character and then by all definitions made them human. I like their journey, the transformations they went through, the stages they went to cope or to confront their situation. Plus the design is pretty affff

5.Edward Teach (ofmd): I just.....really connected with this guy ok? The feeling of always being at the bottom so if you are going to rise your only option is to make people fear you but that's not true BOY HE LEFT NO CRUMBS WITH THAT WHOLE THING. he was just really cool when he entered the show and then it was "oh this guy is really fucked up actually" and he's so funny and MORE OLD POC QUEERS? FUCK YEAH. but i guess what puts him on top for me is how he explored himself and his needs. All that while being funny and tragic and gay. Really cool.

6.Anthy (revolutionary girl utena): MY DAUGHTER RRRRAAAAHHH. Anthy is a really tragic and complex character. to this day i cannot put together every reason why shes my favorite from utena. Shes tragic and my god the things she goes through break my heart every time I think about it but...shes also incredibly strong and funny and a weird keeping animals in her room. The creators did an excellent job showing her lack of agency and how she already had given up, but also showed her humanity and wish to retain things in her life that gave her joy. And movie anthy? That girl is a no nonsense girl. She will get her girlfriend no matter what from the people who abused her. She left that fucking school as a mature, smart and kind adult. We fucking stan.

7. Richard (requiem of the rose king): another recent acquired son. Idk why this one hit so much and honestly for how short the manga is (79 chapters) they did such a good job with him???? Banger themes and metaphors, banger character moments, banger GENDER moments. I've seen a few people not being able to take him seriously but idk, ir sounded honest and serious to me. A kid who has been told since birth they were a demon became one to survive but not really. Because no one with his wish can fully be a demon. Idk maybe it's cheesy but his quest for love and acceptance was a banger in my eyes (please read the manga. We can leave the anime behind). Also I like him cuz he's cool and is a character I CAN ACTUALLY COSPLAY THANK GOD-

AND THOSE ARE SOME CHARACTERS AND SOME PIECES OF MEDIA I LIKE :D IF ANYONE WANTS MORE PLS ASK.