#only i seen a few critics not filled with his defenders but all in all thsts usually what happens

[cherrytea556]

I'm conflicted of wanting to do a vid calling out TBYS for shit the patterns I've seen that others haven't (e.g his speculations, biases etc) but at the same time, that requires me to look at TBYS in depth, meaning watching all his videos in depth, and I honest to god don't know how to feel about that. Will call out his out of pocket claims to random woman being abusive though in any way I can cuz it's just so ridiculous.

[ficjoelispunk]

Ch 12 - CIA

You can find all the chapters available here.

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A/N: Hey guys, here’s one more chapter. Unfortunately this one is not revised - but I wanted to post it anyway, because it’s been some time since the last chapter - so possibly at the time of the translation some grammatical error may have happened. I apologize in advance. I hope you like it. ❤️

Music indication for this chapter: Bite the Hand - Boygenius

Murphy accompanied the Escobar family. Before boarding he called you telling you that they were on their way to Germany. The negotiations with Germany were difficult. You had to ask Crosby for help, but even he didn't get much. German immigration was liberal, due to its turbulent history.

And while Murphy was on a trip. Centra Spike managed to track Fernando Duque.

"He used the credit card, here, and here in these restaurants" Edward showed on the map to Javier "and look at this" he reached a paper, delivering it to Javier "I checked the database, there was a complaint this morning. He's a fugitive"

"Why?" Javier evaluated the file.

"The wife made a complaint of theft and kidnapping," Edward added.

"He is running away, and took his son. He's only 14 years old. Fuck!"

Javier was cornered. What should he do? He didn't know.

His phone rang. It was late. He expected it to be you.

"Peña"

"Javier" the voice of Don Berna "any news from our friend?"

Javier was silent.

“Peña?”

"Not yet"

He hung up the phone.

Javier reached the report with the information that Edward had recorded. He pressed the cigarette on the ashtray.

You didn't talk to each other, and Javier hasn't seen you since the day you found out about Don Berna. But now, there was no way to avoid it. And honestly, Javier would use the first excuse to talk to you.

Javier dialed the number of his extension in Bogotá on the phone. He heard his voice announcing your name.

"It's me, Peña"

He heard you sigh.

"How can I help you, Agent Peña"

He knew your way of defending yourself by exercising formality with him.

"Is everything okay over there?" Javier asked.

You were silent for a few minutes.

"Do you need something?"

Javier lowered his head. He closed his eyes.

"I think Fernando Duque is on the run, and took his son"

What did that mean? Now he decided to work respecting all the bureaucracy he has always criticized? Ok. You were a professional. You couldn't let the feelings affect your work.

"Okay. What do you need me to do? If he is so desperate, maybe he will agree to collaborate in exchange for protection"

Javier loved the way you had vision, and he didn't need to explain himself to you. And how professional you were, even hating him, doing your job.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I thought, I..." he hesitates "maybe I know where he is"

You wanted to ask why he is calling you and not Don Berna, providing the information to the Los Pepes. Or, which informant he was fucking to get this information. But you needed to do your job.

"Ok. I'll fill out the forms. Do you want me to apply to get him out of the country?"

"If he agrees to collaborate, do you think we can do it?"

"I can try"

"Yeah, shure”

"Ok."

"Hey"

"Yes?"

"Thank you"

"I'm just doing my job"

"Yeah”

"Agent Peña?"

“Yes?"

"How did you get this information?"

Javier knew you knew how he had gotten this information. But he also knew that you needed to explain on the form, to document. So your question wasn't stupid. But intelligent. Since the call could eventually be used later against you.

"An informant knows his wife. I was lucky."

"Okay. Good luck"

***

You didn't sleep, you were working in 3 different time zones. The USA, Colombia and Germany.

Murphy called you as soon as he landed.

"I need more time," you said, "they don't want to cooperate with us"

"Okay, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know" you sighed, biting your lips "Don't let them leave the airport, if they leave we're fucked. In a way to search their suitcase, Pablo wouldn't let them travel without money... improvise"

"Okay, I'll find a way to hold them here, do what you can"

You hung up and snorted, slipping your body on the chair. Your head would explode.

Murphy followed your idea and really, Pablo sent a lot of money with his family. And immigration barred the family's entry.

***

Javier found Fernando Duque. The man was in a state of shock. He begged for help.

"We don't work for free, I need your full cooperation"

"I collaborate with you, I do whatever you want, but get us out of Colombia. Immediately, I can't have contact with the police, Los Pepes has people working for them from the police, I need to leave the country"

"Do we have a deal?" Javier asks.

Ferrando Duque nodded.

"Do what I say. And start by hiding the car you stole from your wife"

It turns out that Fernando Duque was right. Los Pepes had informants inside the police. And they found out that Javier Peña was protecting Pablo Escobar's lawyer.

Los Pepes, had a very active and helpful contact inside the embassy, was the guy from the CIA superintendence, who arrived along with Messina and Crosby in Bogotá.

When Javier went to the cafeteria at Don Berna's request, to meet. He finds Bill Stechner in his place.

"Agent Peña, I don't think Don Berna will come today"

Javier's stomach feels the cold adrenaline being radiated through the rest of his body.

He hesitates. Observe the place, sit in the chair in front of the CIA agent.

"What is that?"

"Just a friendly conversation" he takes a dramatic break "you are leaving very dangerous people, angry Javier"

Javier is silent, looking at nothing, with his chin slightly tilted forward. Javier's usual petulant basic posture.

And he continues.

"I'm in a difficult situation because I was the one who suggested your name to them, since you have a good relationship with the Ambassador's assistant, having access to valuable information" this last part Bill spoke with malice.

Javier drastically turns his head to face Bill, frowning, the marked wrinkle of a closed face for years, now becoming more exposed.

"I don't know if you know what I do, but I want you to know that I defend the interests of our country in the long term, and I'm here to ensure that the right people are still alive when Escobar is shot in the head. So do yourself and your girl a favor, and don't complicate things. You know what they can do with her."

Javier faces Bill in silence. He gets up ready to finish that siege and leave when Bill speaks again.

"These people usually make decisions with a hot head. This can lead to terrible ideas like killing a federal agent and taking your girl as a prize. In fact, they found the lawyer, even without your help, so..."

Javier leaves the cafeteria. The head thinking a thousand possibilities. But the main one was to call you and know if you were okay, first.

You answered, as soon as you called. Javier was silent, with his hand resting on his forehead, breathing only now, listening to his voice, knowing that you were fine.

"I can hear you breathing, I know it's you, Agent Peña"

"Hi. Yeah... It's me" his voice cracked.

You noticed. There was a silence. You hesitated to worry, but you were stronger than you.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine. Are you okay?"

You frowned.

"Javi, it's late, what's going on?"

You knew Javier, the nuances of your tone of voice. You didn't have to be looking at him to know when something was happening.

"Nothing. Please, just..." he hesitated "be careful, do not go out alone, be accompanied or escorted, and do not trust anyone"

Your breathing started to get irregular.

"You're scaring me. Where are you? Do you need help? What's going on?"

Javier didn't want to scare you but there weren't many means.

"Be safe. I'll call you later."

"Javi..."

He hung up.

Shit.

He drive to the address where he had found Fernando Duque. And it was too late. He found the body of the man and his son, inside the trunk of the woman's stolen car, with a message:

"Cortecia de Los Pepes"

Javier was blinded with anger and distrust. Who was the informant of Los Pepes? Who was working for them from inside the base? Who knew that you and he were close? Who could put you at risk? Delivering a man who had a direct connection with Pablo and could be the biggest asset you would have in months. A name shone in his head. Trujillo.

He drive to the base, and framed Trujillo putting him against the car outside, in front of other agents who accompanied Trujillo to the exit of the base.

"Did you follow me to the fucking hotel? Huh?" Javier had his forearm on his colleague's neck. "Did you tell to Berna?"

"Deja me"

Javier stuck to the collar of Trujillo's uniform and pushed him again against the car.

"You tell me, you asshole!"

Trujillo pushed Javier.

"¿Qué pasa?" One of the other agents tried to separate the two.

"Nada, todo está bien, vayan al frente" Trujillo said.

There was a silence. Peña's irregular breathing.

"¿Qué pasa, Peña?" Trujillo asked. "Are you going to act like an American?"

Peña stared at him.

"Did you see what they did to his son?" The image of the teenager folded in the trunk with a bullet in the head.

He couldn't help but think about what they could do to you. He immediately remembered when he met Helena. Javier was panting.

"How many families did Pablo Escobar destroy Peña? Do you know? You don't decide who lives or who dies."

"You don't know what's at stake here, it's not just a matter of catching Pablo Escobar anymore..."

"Peña, we crossed a line a long time ago, there is no turning back"

Javier closed his eyes. Hands on the waist. He struggled to pull himself together.

***

You don't remember how many calls you made overnight. There were hours of negotiations, together with the Ambassador, with Germany. They used all the legal breaches, and diplomacy so that the Escobar family's landing authorization was not granted.

And finally you managed to convince the immigration that you could not receive them. For legal political reasons, the family would have to make the trip back to Colombia.

Murphy was present with the family all the time. Not together. But close. And that's good.

At the exit of the airport already in Colombian lands, if Murphy were not together, they would have attacked the family at the entrance to the airport.

Murphy saw a suspicious car approaching. But he protected Escobar's wife, mother and children.

The federal police took the family under protection. That was an asset. With Pablo's family in the care of the government, he could not be more unarmed.

But like every action, he would have a reaction. Pablo would not make it cheap that the family was not accepted in another country.

One hundred lbs of explosives. The equivalent of a bomb in an F-16. Dozens of dead. Hundreds of injured. Among them, many children. He implanted the dynamites in a mall near the beginning of classes.

Pablo continues to build his fame with terrorism. But now he had gone too far. Everyone was angry. A guy with no limits, he had crossed the limits. Pablo's time was running out.

You had barely landed in Medellin, and you were already being summoned to a new meeting with the colonel, the agents, Centra Spike.

There was only time for you to leave some files on your desk, and go to the meeting room.

Javier stopped you in the hallway.

"I'm late," you said, trying to deviate from him.

"We are going to the same place" Javier mirrored your steps in front of him.

You stopped. You closed your eyes, trying not to explode, throwing your head back.

"What do you want, Agent Peña? No drug trafficker friend available?"

Peña stares at you and tilts his head.

"I need to talk to you. It's fast, and it's important, meet me in the file room tonight."

You snorted, smiling ironically.

"Absolutely not"

"Afraid of not being able to resist? I miss you too."

You half closed your eyes to him. How could he keep making jokes?

"Stop treating me as if I were obsessed with you"

He held your arm before you entered the room.

"It's important. I need you to go"

You didn't answer and entered the room. Javier rolled his eyes. Stubborn.

As soon as everyone was organized, Colonel Martinez began to explain the reason for the meeting.

"The situation with Escobar is about to burst," Colonel, began.

"Actually, it's already burst" you didn't contain yourself. "Sorry, I thought... loudly" you closed your eyes. Trying to organize your head and tongue, you had been out of your mind for days. No sleep.

Javier tried to hold back the laughter.

"Continuing. Our information suggests that their support has been reduced to only a few loyal sicarians"

"Fewer sicaries, fewer conversations to track" Edward scored "we stapled the Lawyer's phone, but I don't think he's answering"

You looked at Javier. He didn't move, he just looked at you back.

"It was Los Pepes, they killed the family and him" Colonel Martinez informed, throwing photos of the crime scene on the table in front of you.

You blinked. Skeptic. Reaching out some photos.

"Is this his son?" Your eyes were horrified.

The colonel just nodded to you.

"Jesus fucking Christ, he was just a child..." you leaned against the chair. Eyes closed. Crossing your arms.

Javier knew you couldn't take it anymore.

"I would like to say that, I know that someone is in contact with Los Pepes. Although that makes me disgusted. I can't do much. But it will be a Colombian policeman next to Escobar's body when this comes to an end. And not just any vigilante. That's all. Thank you very much"

You were immobilised for a while processing the information. What had happened? Javier asked for protection for Fernando Duque, what did he do that even the guy's mother was stabbed?! Jesus.

You went after him.

"Hey?" you called.

Running in a jump, in the hallway, your held his arm.

"Not here" he murmured.

"What happened?"

"Tonight" he said without stopping walking. Wide steps making you run to reach it.

You held his arm. Javier stopped just out of respect, since you were a feather next to him.

"What?" He turned around, abruptly making you get into the middle of him.

"Jesus!" you exclaimed. He held your waist giving you balance.

He snapped his eyes.

"File room" he reinforced. And he walked away.

Shit! You lost all the cards in this game. Years having the answer on the tip of the tongue, so that now I can't even breathe properly.

Peña talked to Murphy about what was to come, but Steve would be next to his partner. Protecting yourself, of course. But he got it. For him, if at the end of all this, Pablo was over, everything was fine.

"I need to protect her," Peña said as he stared at nothing, and brought the cigarette.

"As long as she doesn't leave here without being escorted, she is not in danger"

"It's not safe here, that Stechner son of a bitch, he could take her to them himself, and she wouldn't even know"

"You need to tell her, Javi. Everything. Tell her they're blackmailing you. Maybe we can get a transfer to her in time..."

"No" Javier interrupted him "she needs to be here, here I can protect her, here I know where she is, who she is with, here she is safe"

Murphy felt the tension in Javier's voice. He rubbed his fingers in his eyes.

"Right. But she needs to know, she needs to know who to trust"

You spent the day trying to unaccumulate the work. But it was a lot of paperwork. With the attacks you simply had to, at least, two more people to do your job, and it was just you.

Your trip to Bogotá messed up your flow of services and activities. And honestly you weren't at your best performance.

You were sad. You had to hear Javier speak while he was lying in your bed how much he wanted you. To then find out and make millions of assumptions about his involvement with Don Berna.

All the information came to you first. All of them. What if eventually he was getting involved with you to have knowledge, access? What if he was actually just using you?

In Bogotá you searched for the files of the rescue operations. Javier mentioned that an informant gave access to one of the laboratories that you were supposed to be in. What if Javier had made an exchange between you and an information? Oh! You couldn't tell, it was torturous, you couldn't trust Javier Peña. In no one. You couldn't know when he was telling the truth or when he was joking and manipulating people's feelings.

You were angry. Trying to derail your thoughts from the tracks that always led to him. Trying to get a hint of self-respect. But you couldn't stop thinking about your bodies together. You felt ridiculous. It was painful. It hurt to have to build a hatred on top of something you wanted.

Now you were walking towards the file room. You hesitated four times on the way. Stopping, taking a deep breath. Trying to think. Trying to understand if it was correct. What kind of lie were you aware of yourself? That I was only going because I needed to know what happened to Fernando Duque's family? What did he do by opening his mouth and handing over someone he asked for protection to Los Pepes?!

You walked so fast that you thought you were running. Your belly twisted with anxiety, anticipation. It was as if you had swallowed gravity and your organs danced inside you.

I hate this man.

You opened the door.

"I'm here"

You heard Javier's voice, coming from the back of the room.

He was sitting at the table, a few months ago he fucked you there. You blinked trying to move the sexual memory away by making your body squirm.

You kept a safe distance from him.

"You send Murphy to travel, what did he do that deserved the trip more than I did?"

You gave a forced smile.

"He is not an informant of a paramilitary group"

Javier steaked his eyes, lowered his head, and nodded. He deserved that.

"I thought you wouldn't come..." he moved his hands, without looking at you.

"I wasn't going" you took a break, Javier stared at you "but, I don't know… I'm here now, what do you want?"

Javier was silent, he seemed to feel some pain. A painful discomfort.

You were getting bothered by Javier with this victimistic behavior. Sad. He's not like that.

Why did you come here? To watch him stare at his feet? What was the plan? Absorb the blame and say goodbye?

"What do you want, Javier?" You repeated, the rudest tone of voice.

He looked at you.

"Something happened"

"Yeah, a lot of things happened. You asked for protection for a family and they were found dead by the group you work for"

He hesitated.

"It's complicated"

"Really?" You asked ironically.

You sigh. Blinking impatiently.

He gets up. And you automatically take a step back.

"What? Are you afraid of me now?"

"Yes, I'm afraid of you" you watched Javier lose the ground with your words.

"I would never do you anything to hurt you, you know that. Never"

"How will I know?" You crossed your arms, a frustrated attempt to protect yourself in some way "how will I know that you won't give me to a bunch of terrorists?"

Javier runs his fingers over his face and sighs.

It would be so much easier if you hadn't succumbed to him. If you hadn't tasted it. If he removed everything he said. If he kept neglecting you. If he continued with the behavior he had for months ignoring you and hurting you little by little.

"Ok. I didn't come here for that. Tell me at once what's going on. Are you hurt? Something like that?"

He frowns disappointed by your ridiculous assumption.

"No..."

"So what is it?"

Javier wanted time with you. Take advantage of the fact that it was just you. He wanted to curl up as much as possible. He wanted to smell you. Take his eyes on you. He didn't want to lose you. But you don't lose what you've never had.

"I went to meet Don Berna" he hesitated looking at you, you closed your eyes, turning your back on him, he continued "I went to warn you that I would no longer be part of it..."

"Oh, shure, and he let you go out as if you were best friends, good and understanding drug traffickers... Peña, I'm not an idiot! What do you think? Does that fix things? What's your problem?"

Javier kept calm. He spoke quietly and peacefully with you. The timbre of voice you loved, and hated at the same intensity.

"You're right. He didn't accept, instead he asked me to track Fernando Duque as a last help"

You laughed ironically throwing your head back.

"And you did it, like a good sicario" you said, Javier took a step towards you, you retreated. He clenched his teeth "and then handed over the whole family..."

"No" he shook his head nervously, turned his back and hit his hand on a box of files that were on the table.

You've been taking steps backwards.

"I'm sorry, I..." Javier turned to you "shit!"

"Why did you call me?"

"I wasn't going to deliver it, I was going to protect it, but they found it first"

"How did you get into this shit?"

Javier was silent. He closed his eyes. He would like it to be a rhetorical question.

"When you disappeared. Don Bern came to me. He told me that if I helped him with the information he would release you"

You stopped breathing.

"What?" It was another whisper that came out of your mouth. It was more for you than for Javier.

You let go of your arms. You leaned on the shelf behind you, your cold hands passing through your forehead.

Javier saw you turning pale. Your lips are always red ivory, losing their color. It looked like you were going to pass out.

"Are you okay?" Javier asked for fear of getting closer and you having a breakdown with him.

"Mhmmm" you closed your eyes "just... give me a second. It's hot here"

Javier moved, picking up a chair.

"Here" he put next to you, "sit here, I'll get some water"

You sat down.

"No," you murmured, "I don't need water"

In fact, you just couldn't breathe.

Is that why? Did Javier get involved with drug traffickers to be able to save you? Bullshit. It couldn't be real. Javier only thinks of one person, and that person is himself. It couldn't be true.

"Keep going" you said. Trying to straighten your posture on the chair, but everything turned very fast.

Javier bent down in front of you.

"Are you okay?"

”Yeah, Kees going..."

"Well, so... he lied. He intended to continue with you until I accepted to continue helping the Cartel of Cali and Montecassino, to kill Pablo with the services of the Castaño brothers. But we managed to rescue you. But they continued to threaten their safety. They said you could be caught. But in the end, I also liked to see the hitmen and Pablo hide in fear like rats"

It was a lot of information for you.

"After that morning, I met Don Berna, he said that if I met Fernando Duque, he would leave us alone. So I went after Fernando, I found him. He agreed to collaborate. I kept him hidden. I didn't inform Don Berna. But then things got worse"

You were breathing irregularly. A fear settling in your spine.

"What happened?"

Javier looked away. He got up. The hands on the waist, the weight of the body changing from one leg to the other.

"Javi?"

You called him that, made him look directly at you. Javier passed his hands over his forehead.

"When I met Fernando, he told me that he could not be taken to the police because there were informants inside the police who passed information to Los Pepes"

"Yes, you."

"No"

"No?" You were confused.

"I thought I was the only one. But I'm not."

You frowned.

"What is that? A kind of virus? Have you infected other agents? Are we being observed here inside the battalion? So can someone come into my room and kill me while I'm sleeping?"

In a way you were right. As always. If it weren't for him, Trujillo wouldn't have met Don Berna. And he would have no contact with the Castaño brothers. He would preserve the boy, he had no need to know about Trujillo, he would not be able to kill you.

"No, you don't take that risk. What matters is that they reported that I found Fernando, and Los Pepes killed him, and the family"

You support your elbows on your knees.

"There's more..."

You looked at Javier, amazed.

"Jesus, Javi... what did you do?"

Javier broke with your sadness. The way words come out of your mouth.

"Bill Stechner"

"The CIA superintendent" you knew who he was.

"Yes. He works for the Castaño brothers"

Your mouth opened in shock.

"What?" You got up, perplexed.

"He heard about the request you made to protect Fernando Duque, of course. He heard that I didn't give the information to Don Berna. They would kill me." Javier took a break. Your hands were in your mouth. "And kill you"

Your eyes snapmed. You blinked with no reaction. The eyes are blurry. Some tears running meaningless.

Javier continued

"They think you passed the information to me"

"Why would they think something like that?"

Javier frowned, disappointed that you didn't understand.

"People know..."

You couldn't reason.

"They know what?" Your voice failed

He pointed at you and him several times.

"We"

"It doesn't exist" you made the movement of quotation marks with your finger "we"

Javier leaned back. Turning his back on you, leaning on the table, without looking at you.

"It doesn't matter. They know I'm involved with you. For you. They would use you to get to me. They've done that before. It doesn't matter. The fact is that Bill Stechner knows. He know I provided the information to Don Berna. And that I actively participated in all the Los Pepes attacks"

You closed your eyes. You was feeling sick. You was getting sick. You bent down hugging your knees, hiding Javier's face.

"Shit!" You murmured.

You couldn't think. You couldn't exist. Were you a masochist? Resisting the impulses of flying on top of Javier and punching his teeth. To curse him and leave. For dragging you into that hole.

Javier walks up to you, bends down and puts his hands on your shoulders.

"Listen..." Javier murmured hoarse and low.

He puts his hands on your arms that squeeze around you, pulling for you to look at him. He sees your red eyes. You don't know if you cry with anger or sadness. That's what he's going to pieces. You didn't deserve to go through this.

When you look at Javier, the face of a dog that fell from the moving truck. You pull your arm to yourself.

Javier continues.

"You need to prepare for problems. This is going to overflow. And these people won't accept that I stop. If they attack you because of what I did, in here, protect yourself. You didn't know anything. Do you understand?"

You agreed, nodding your head. Wiping the tears.

"I'm so stupid, how could I get here?"

"It's my fault. This is all my fault. I should never have approached you. If something happens outside of here, I'll go to hell after you, do you understand? I won't let anything happen to you."

You shake your head in disbelief. You get up. Javier also gets up. Watching you walk meaningless.

You turn to him, and push him, clapping your hands on his chest.

"I hate you"

You push him again.

"I hate you, your son..."

You were going to push him again, but Javi holds your arm.

"Do you know what that means?" You were trying to snap him. "I'm going to lose my job, I was kidnapped, I can die..."

"No..." Javier held your fists.

"You ruined everything good that exists in my life"

"I know, cariño"

"Shut up"

Javier pulls you to him. And it holds you in a hug. You kick at the beginning. Cursing him as much as your can. Struggling to get rid of him. But he surrenders.

"Let me go" you're crying, wetting his shirt.

Javier holds you with one arm involving your waist, and the other holding your head against his chest.

"I asked you Javi, I tried to let you know..."

Javier had his lips on the top of your head.

"I know, sweetheart, I'm sorry."

You are hugging for a while. Your brain throbbing in your head. The smell of Javier stunning you. It even seemed safe there. Everything that was happening was his fault, but he did it, at first, in an attempt to save you.

That wasn't fair. With neither of you. You were his hell. And he was your hell. Everything about you just hurt each other. You also couldn't imagine how it was for him, thinking of being responsible for a kidnapping. See innocent people dying in attacks, in the middle of the crossfire.

You couldn't imagine what the consciousness of Javier's head was like.

"I’m sorry, babe. I never wanted to harm you. Forgive me for the times I acted like an asshole with you, I just wanted to protect you" Javier murmurs over your head, while he rubs his nose on your forehead.

You walk away to look at Javier.

"We can get out of this clean"

Javier smiles, he can't believe it. Releasing the air through the mouth. You could always make him feel better, after all

"You heard Martinez today, if we catch Pablo, it's over. All this is over. And we can leave. Clean"

Javier is silent. Thoughtful.

You let go of his hug.

"Think about it before making any other stupid decision"

You take a few steps back. You was going to turn around when Javier holds your hand.

"Wait"

The warmth of his hand on your skin radiates a shiver all over your body. You observe where your skins meet. Looking so right. But being so wrong.

He pulls you back close to him. You take reluctant steps. Javier's eyes have never been as attentive and careful as they are today. Studying your face. The other hand rises on your cheek, your thumb wiping the tear in the corner of your eye.

"Everything I said that day. It's true. I would never use you. Never. Hate me, blame me, curse me, but please never doubt how I feel for you, and how I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose, do you believe me? Please, I need to know that you believe in me."

You felt your heart soften. The feeling was dubious. You hated Javier. But you wish you could hug him and say that everything would be fine.

You lower your head. Hold his hand more firmly. Your hand goes up to his face, holding his cheek. Javier closes his eyes to your touch.

"Javi, in the end, everyone got a little out of line here. Thank you for going after me. I'm grateful for that. But that's all" your voice fails.

That's not all.

Javier is still holding you.

"Wait" he swallows dry, "you didn't answer me"

"I believe in you. Even if it wasn't true, I always believe in you"

He doesn't want to let you go. You face each other, the two sunk into each other's eyes.

You suffer. He sees it. He suffers. You see.

"Just..." he hesitates. The eyes going down to your lips.

You shake your head when he's getting close to you. Your chest burns.

"You're going to make me suffer" you murmured a little too panting, your eyes filling with tears.

Javier approaches, and kisses your forehead. Time-consuming. Breathing you. Recording your smell.

And then let you go.

TAG: @harriedandharassed

[somewhatsentientspellbook]

Personal Take Incoming (Critical Role)

Consider this a diary entry explaining some of my thoughts on a few Critical Role characters. Avoid reading this post if you don't want my takes on Keyleth, Fjord, Ashton, Orym, Imogen, Percy, and Caleb.

So, I've noticed a common trend with my favourite characters across a variety of fandoms. I personally am an individual who gravitates towards characters with integrity, and rules for themselves that they follow. Characters that have lines in the sand that they can draw and then defend. It doesn't necessarily have to be rules put in place by society, it can be ones they made up for themselves. These characters oftentimes end up becoming the moral centre of their party, which adds another fascinating angle as they try to navigate maintaining their morals with a wider group filled with diverse opinions.

I suppose that is why Keyleth was my favourite Vox Machina character from pretty much the get-go! Her integrity was what endeared me to her throughout the entire campaign. She had opinions of what she thought was right and wrong, and she tried her hardest to enforce that view. Were there times when she learned she was wrong, yes. But she kept what she learned in mind and adjusted her internal monologue to see fit. Keyleth's integrity and unwillingness to engage in the overly amoral actions of Vox Machina created a lot of interesting dynamics.

In campaign two, Fjord quickly became my favourite for very similar reasons. He was the one to ask Beau to apologise to Toya and insist that the party help the Schuster kids so that they wouldn't be put in an orphanage. He also maintained a certain level of honesty with the rest of the party about his history and his mysterious dreams. In this case, Fjord wasn't necessarily 'good' (as he was comfortable with doing some pretty shitty stuff), but he still had expectations of himself and rules that he would not break.

I guess that is why Asthon and Orym are currently my favourite members of Bells Hells too. They both have convictions that they will not stray from and a certain level of integrity that the party honestly needs. Now, whether or not they are right is another discussion entirely, but the point is that they have the courage to stick to their guns even when the group is leaning in another direction.

People have been complaining that the takes on Imogen Temult are unfair, and some of those takes are unfair! But I won't shy away from the fact that Imogen is my least favourite member of Bells Hells (I still think they're all fantastic - including Imogen herself). She is my least favourite for exactly the reasons above. Imogen supposedly has internal rules, but we've seen her be more than happy to break them when they don't suit her at a given moment. She's said that she hates to pry into people's minds and that she avoids it wherever possible - but we see her willingly dive into the minds of people like Dorian without their consent. Imogen has stated that Laudna is the most important person in the world to her and that she loves her more than anything - but Imogen cannot look Laudna in the eyes and tell her that she won't side with Laudna's murderer. That doesn't make the character any less interesting, but it definitely makes it harder for me personally to like her.

I've seen a handful people across socials imply that if you like Percy or Caleb, but not Imogen - it's because she's a woman. This is where I wholeheartedly disagree. While the overly negative opinions of Imogen are harsh and unwarranted, Imogen is the first character whose allegiances I am genuinely uncertain about. Percy and Caleb have said and done truly awful things; I think we can all agree on that. And while they have considered leaving the group, it was under very different circumstances. For the longest time, Percy had nothing waiting for him outside Vox Machina, so the only time I feared he would leave the group was when he died (since Tal confirmed he would've been happy to stay dead). Caleb too, had very little beyond the Mighty Nein and he considered leaving them on multiple occasions. But never once did he consider leaving them to join their enemy. Now, had the M9 faced the Cerberus Assembly earlier in the campaign, that might have been different - but I never feared that Caleb would switch sides in the campaign we did get.

The thing is, Imogen does have something waiting for her: Lilliana and Predathos. I'm not sure about her allegiance, and that's where Imogen, Percy, and Caleb are different. While what Imogen has said/done has been tame compared to what Percy and Caleb have said/done - I know that the line Imogen is toeing is one neither of the others had dared to cross. Percy would never have considered joining forces with the Briarwoods, Thordak, or the Whispered One. Caleb would never have dared to join sides with Avantika, Obann, or Trent. But Imogen might.

That is fascinating. And dangerous. The future isn't set in stone, and all I can do now is bite my tongue and wait for episode 50.

[charles-leclerc-official]

2024 Jeddah Grand Prix Race Analysis

Jeddah was certainly an exciting second race in the 2024 season, with Ollie Bearman's F1 debut in Ferrari, to Lance's DNF, to the absolute chaos in the midfield there was a lot going on.

I am of course going to start by talking about Ferrari Charles and Ollie's race.

Ollie

Ollie Bearman (18) the F2 driver was called last minute to fill in at Ferrari for Carlos Sainz, who had to have surgery to treat appendicitis. Ollie got to participate in FP3 before he then went into qualifying and came in P11.

Ollie managed to come in P7 during the race bringing home his first points in Formula 1, and some important constuctor's points for Ferrari.

Given how little prep time he had, Ollie adapted to the car very quickly. Even comparing his race to qualifying it's clear he was getting more at home in the car with each lap. He struggled the most on the low speed corners in those high braking zones(also where there are lots of lateral Gs which he did mention were tough) but he was not behind at all on straight line speed.

Ollie ran a remarkably clean race. He overtook 4 cars in total and only struggled a little with the car settings when overtaking Kevin Magnussen.

It cannot be overstated what an amazing first F1 performance he put on. Ollie did the most overtakes of the race in a car he'd only just driven the day before on the highest speed track in F1.

Overall this was an amazing debut and Ollie 100% deserved driver of the day!

Charles

Charles race was pretty clean. He started in P2 but lost the position pretty early to Perez and came in P3. Apparently there was an issue with the car and the way the tyres felt and I do think this impacted his ability to really push, especially at the beginning of the race.

He held on to P3 pretty easily.

The standout part of his race was of course setting the fastest lap on lap 50 on old tyres. That is actually kind of insane and I don't know why more people aren't talking about it. After his tyre wear looked so good, like too good.

Charles did say that he was having trouble warming up the tyres. This was seen in quali, but the impact was felt during the race. He had to try to defend and overtake while still warming up his tyres and that is probably what cost him that place to Checo. After he got the tyres warmed up the gap to Checo was pretty stable.

Ferrari

Ferrari is easily P2 in constructors. It was very helpful that Ollie brought home points to continue the lead on Mclaren and Mercedes.

We learned a few things from this race:

The SF-24 has made massive improvements on tyre degen on the SF-23.

However the car is having issues warming up the tyres which for sure impacted Charles' race. There are multiple ways to solve this issue, upgrades and adjustments should be able to take care of it(at the very least mitigate the issue) Another thing to note is that this race was at night and temps were cooler so that likely amplified what was already a problem. I wouldn't expect it to be as bad in Australia even if nothing is altered on the car.

The SF-24 still needs to do some catching up to Red Bull

The SF-24 is certainly more reliable, because Ollie was able to get comfortable pretty quickly and that is in part thanks to the reliability of the car itself(as well as his skill)

Kevin

So thoughts on Kevin's race and the Haas strategy in general.

Early in the race Kevin took a 10 second penalty for track limits. That basically ended his race. So Haas apparently decided to use him to hold off the rest of the mid-field so that his teammate Nico could score a point. In doing so Kevin got an additional 10 second penalty for overtaking off track.

Now people have criticized this strategy, as Kevin not giving the place back messed up a lot of driver's races (Yuki, Logan, Alex, Este, Zhou). But it was all within the rules, and if it's within the rules then I can't begrudge a team for playing to their advantage. It's up to the stewards to issue additional instructions, or for the FIA to change the rules to prevent such a strategy in the future.

The other notable thing was that Kevin still finished P12 which is higher than you'd expect given he racked up 20 seconds of penalties however he finished his race in just under the lap time, so he got a time and the cars behind him were stuck with +1 lap, which further negated that penalty for himself.

Jump Starts: Lando and Sergio

There were two jumped starts this race. One was spotted as it happened (Lando) and one was discovered after the race(Sergio)

Now neither driver received a penalty, and I think this was the right choice for Lando but not for Sergio.

Important things to keep in mind: jumping the start is penalized because it can create early forward momentum that can give an advantage in those first few seconds. Sensors under the track are used to determine if a car jumped the start.

Lando started moving before the lights, it was very obvious, but then he came to a full stop before starting again. He wasn't given the penalty because the movement did not register on the sensors and the stewards make the decision based on if the sensors picked up anything.

Now I do actually agree that this didn't really need to be penalized for 2 reasons.

Lando came to a complete stop after the initial movement and thus probably hurt his start more than anything

It didn't impact any race results. Lando didn't seemingly gain anything and there aren't any results that you could argue might have been different(if he had gained some advantage then it 100% should have been a penalty, but from what we saw he really didn't)

I think had his actions impacted someone's results etc then other teams would have pushed harder for a penalty, but it just wasn't worth it because this didn't really do anything.

However I do believe that Sergio's jumped start should have been penalized.

He didn't brake, thus has slight forward momentum going into the lights out

It potentially did impact the first turn pressure he was able to put on Charles right away

Mostly the fact he did for sure get some small amount of forward momentum for me makes it a pretty clear penalty.

Both of these didn't register on the sensors which is also weird because they were very clearly visible.

Other Drivers and moments of note:

Zhou: his race was compromised by both Kevin and the fact he had a 46 second pit stop

Lance: hit the wall, locked up and ended up in the barrier on lap 7, ending his race

Pierre: had a mechanical failure on lap 1 and had to retire the car

Max: won again

Oscar and Lewis: had one of the most tight battles of the race. Lewis defended for so many laps while Oscar was within DRS so often. Oscar did end up ahead and that lead on Hamilton was hard fought. Lewis' performance as well was impressive given the struggles of the current W15.

Esteban/Alpine: Esteban managed to come in P13 which is Alpine's best result so far this year.

Nico: Came in P10 scoring Haas' first points, placing them 6th currently in the constructor's

George: George battled the pace issues the W15 seems to be having. He is quick in the car, but the race pace seems to be suffering as well as the top speed. This was a bad track for the W15 overall looking at both his and Lewis' results.

This race was memorable for Ollie's F1 debut, and the youngest Ferrari driver lineup in history. As well as plenty of action in the midfield.

See you next time with Australia race analysis!

[necromaniackat]

Cherry Cola

There were three things you were most certain about. First, you were unquestionably in love with Billy Loomis. Second, Billy and Stu Macher were the Woodsborro murderers. And finally, you were willing to keep it a secret.

Chapter 1: Carefully Selected

Woodsboro – a quiet little town in Northern California. Nothing happens here. That’s why your mom picked this place. It’s safe.

It’s boring, nothing exciting has happened in the four days you’ve been here. There was no traffic or sirens blaring constantly, or even the sound of colourful people out in the street. This made you a little upset with your mom – you didn’t want to move but you were seventeen so you had to go with her otherwise the law would be on your tails. You missed Calabasas but your mom kept chanting that this was a good fresh start.

“This’ll be good for you. A fresh start away from all that noise back in L.A,” your mom reiterated for the millionth time. The golden morning sun hung low in the sky, melting the coolness on the grass. The aroma of freshly cut grass filled the chilled but warming air. You had your window rolled down, the breeze flowing through your hair.

“I liked it better in L.A,” you pouted.

“What was better in L.A? Hmm?” Your mom snapped finally.

“My dad,” you replied bitterly.

“If your dad wanted to be apart of your life then he’d be here, not with his new family,” she snarled at you coldly. You were too stunned to speak. It doesn’t matter how many times your mom throws that in your face it still renders you speechless. She knew your dad was a tender spot for you. You haven’t seen him since the summer but you haven’t talked to him in a few weeks. Not since….

You mentally shook your head to rid yourself of the thoughts of what happened a few weeks ago. You didn’t even look at your mom – you merely sank lower in the font seat with your arms tied over your small chest. This was your form of mild rebellion, that and your newest taste for fashion. Today you sported a black mini pencil skirt with black tights on underneath and a baggy, black, bleach stained tee shirt under a black hoodie you’d sewn red horns onto the hood.

“Couldn’t you have worn something a little more appropriate?” Your mom questioned with disgust in her voice. “–I just don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be wearing such a revealing outfit,” she added her opinion.

“What’s wrong with my clothes? I’m literally covered from head to toe,” you defended, looking out the window. Your brows had drawn together. You were curious as to what she can find to dislike about you today. Because this is an every day kind of thing. Your mom has a problem with every move you make. You can never win so you say fuck it and deal.

“The skirt, it’s too short. You’re seventeen, you don’t need to be wearing things like that,” she claimed.

“It’s not even that short, mom. It only looks it because I’m sitting.” You rolled your eyes as you looked over at her with disapproving written all over your face Your mom stole a few quick glances between keeping an eye on the road. She frowned and let out a sigh.

“Also with the makeup, Riley?” she complained. You glowered at her, narrowing your icy blue eyes. A twinge of rage knotted in your lower abdomen. You wanted so badly to go off on her – seventeen years of rage just building and building inside you.

“What’s wrong with my makeup?” You growled, turning your attention to out the windshield.

“What’s wrong with it? It’s too dark. You’re a pretty girl, Riley. Maybe ask some girls at this new school for some tips on how to look lively and youthful. Y’know, like you used to.” We’re your mom’s criticisms about your appearance. She had every right to be shocked because in the matter of a day you went from a preppy schoolgirl cheerleader with beautiful long blonde hair to choppy shoulder length dyed hair, nose piercing, new dark academia/grunge aesthetic wardrobe and new taste in music in a day. Of course this was the day you rebelled against society and mainly your mom. And no, it wasn’t because a boy broke up with you and you had a “mental breakdown”. No, it was far worse.

You frowned, sitting up. You grabbed your bag, opening the car door and climbing out as quickly as possible. You heard your mom trying to make the situation better but was cut off when you closed the car door. You slung your bag over your shoulder and walked the last block to the school. Bitterness puckered at your lips – you wanted so badly to rip into her the same way she rips into you all the time. Your mom has always been extremely critical of you, the same way she was with your dad. The only difference is, you’re stuck with your mom meanwhile your dad pays child support and gets unsupervised visits with you once in a while. You doubted that’d happen now; your dad was still in Los Angeles while you were here in this butt-fuck-nowhere town in Northern California mid first semester. Your mom couldn’t have moved you guys to a city? In cities being the new kid isn’t that big of a deal. But in small towns new kids aren’t really a thing. And these kids, your peers, they’ve grown up together. No amount of time or quality of relationships will ever top that kind of bond.

You didn’t mean to but you glanced over your shoulder to see your mom and gone. You were stopped dead in your tracks. Your heart broke a bit inside your chest. You didn’t think she’d just leave you like that without trying to get you back into the car, or making sure you got to school alright.

You exhaled heavily, turning on your heel and heading back towards the school. You wished you brought your Walkman so you could listen to music but alas, you were left with your thoughts. You were left with the knowing that everything changed so fast. Two weeks ago you were planning a sleepover with your friends in a school you’d been attending since ninth grade with people you’ve known the majority of your life and now you were the new kid in town with no friends, no family and no reputation you’ve worked so hard to create.

Students were gathered in groups outside the school – you felt eyes on you the moment you started walking up the path to the front doors. Anxiety filled your stomach as you wandered through the crowd. You preyed they didn’t know anything about you or what happened at your last school.

You went directly to the office once you were inside.

“Hello dear,” the administrator greeted. You sauntered to the desk, adjusting your bag on you shoulder.

“Hi, um, my name is Riley Devins. I’m the new girl. I’m supposed to come to the office to get my time table,” you explained honestly. The admin, a woman in her mid to late forties with snowy white hair and coke bottle glasses, hummed in response before turning her attention to the stack of files on the desk to her right.

“Oh here it is!” She cheered happily, turning back towards you with a friendly smile. “–Here’s your time table and a map of the school just in case you get lost. As well as your locker number and combination, and other info you may need,” she listed, handing you the small stack of papers that were neatly held together with a paper clip. You took the papers from her with a mental sigh. You knew you were going to be the new student soon, when you go off to college but you never thought you’d be the new student mid first semester.

You went to turn around when your body collided with what felt like a brick wall, but really it was just another student. You dropped the papers and your bag slipped off your shoulder; everything went tumbling to the ground.

“Hey watch it!” You cried in defence. You looked up at the person who bumped into you. It was a guy – he was average height with boy band hair and sparkling brown eyes. He had dropped his bag as well.

“My apologies your Highness,” he responded. Your blood boiled at the pet name he gave you. You disliked it when people would call you princess, or anything like that. It made you feel guilty. You were spoiled by both your parents growing up – it was their way of making up for divorcing shortly after you were born. If you wanted to learn ballet then your parents would make it happen. If you wanted the newest electronic your parents would buy you two, one from each of them. You were very blessed growing up and you hated to admit it but you used your parents’ guilt to your advantage. That’s why you felt so guilty. Then everything was ruined a few weeks ago.

“Asshole,” you sneered under your breath. You went to bend down to pick up your belongings when you felt something hard strike your temple causing you to jump upright in surprise. The guy was rubbing a spot on his forehead as he looked you up and down.

You did the same, noting he was wearing a blue checkered button up with blue jeans that were baggy on his muscular but slender frame. His dirty blond hair was parted down the middle – making the way his hair sat look a bit like devil horns. He had obvious California sun kissed skin. This made his endless brown eyes seem deeper and darker. You swore you were drowning in them.

“Mr. Loomis, is there a reason you’re in the office?” The admin asked from behind you. The guy, Mr. Loomis, didn’t break away his eyes – he had you in his sights and you felt so small under his stare. But also something else; it was a familiar feeling but you couldn’t quite place it.

“No,” he uttered, throwing his bag over his shoulder. Finally, his stare broke when he left the office. Leaving you completely stunned and confused. All this happened in the space of perhaps two minutes.

You frowned disapprovingly before kneeling down to pick up your papers and bag. The bell rang to bring the students in for home room. You took a deep breath, leaving the office and going to your locker to drop off your bag and grab the supplies you’d need for the morning.

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida signed a bill into law Wednesday to expand the state's ability to move migrants to Democratic-led states.

The signing comes following controversial actions last year when DeSantis authorized sending two planes filled with Venezuelan and Colombian migrants to Martha's Vineyard, the vacation island in Massachusetts, as part of a political stunt aimed at opposing President Joe Biden's border policy.

The move triggered several lawsuits questioning its legality, including from Florida Democratic state Sen. Jason Pizzo.

The initial transport bill, from 2022, specified that state funds must be used to transport migrants only out of Florida, yet the Governor orchestrated flights out of Texas. Under the expanded law, Florida could move migrants from any state and keep the details of the transportation companies secret.

DeSantis, who typically showcases his legislative achievements with public events that he streams on social media, didn't sign the bill into law before a crowd. Instead, he did so from his office in the Governor's mansion and then tweeted a photo.

Still, he did address the legislation publicly after fielding a question about it from a reporter in West Palm Beach, where he was unveiling a separate technology proposal. Asked to defend the immigration policy, DeSantis said Biden's border actions had necessitated that he act.

"What it's done is it's highlighted this issue in a way that would not have been highlighted any other way," he said, adding: "I would love to not have to deal with this at all. But you have a total disaster that's unfolded on that border for over two years."

DeSantis' Martha's Vineyard move was viewed by critics as a cruel stunt that misled vulnerable migrants.

In political circles, it also was seen as an attempt to gin up headlines ahead of a potential 2024 presidential run. Defenders of the transport programs have said that the considerable costs of supporting migrants with food, shelter, and medical care should be borne not just by states along the US-Mexico border.

On September 20, 2022, a Boston-based civil rights firm representing a group of migrants and an immigration nonprofit network sued DeSantis, alleging migrants were tricked into boarding the flights with false promises of jobs and other support.

Despite the legal and political backlash, DeSantis pressed ahead in expanding the program. He brought lawmakers to Tallahassee last week to fast-track the bill through both chambers. The Governor has a Republican supermajority in the legislature that has been deferential to his proposals.

"Florida is using all tools available to protect our citizens from Biden's open border policies," DeSantis tweeted Wednesday. "I am glad to have signed legislation to continue the program of transporting illegal aliens to sanctuary jurisdictions. I thank the legislature for maintaining this valuable tool."

The state still has millions set aside for transporting migrants, but DeSantis has asked lawmakers to allocate $12 million more through their separate, budget-making process when they meet for their regular session in March.

"Some of these folks going to these sanctuary jurisdictions are in much better circumstances than just being stranded somewhere with nowhere to go," DeSantis said Wednesday. "It's not about them, because these are sanctuary jurisdictions that beat their chest just a few years ago about how nobody was illegal."

So-called "sanctuary cities" limit their cooperation with federal immigration authorities by refusing to report or hand over certain undocumented immigrants for deportation.

DeSantis has said he agreed with former President Donald Trump's border policies that required migrants to wait in Mexico for their immigration appointments in the US.

US Customs and Border Protection in Miami reported that the state has seen a 400% increase in migrants from Cuba and Haiti arriving by boat since October of last year, according to CBS News.

[skepticalarrie]

Hi love! I really appreciate your blog, I have been in this fandom only a few months now so it’s really helpful to have people on here that have documented everything so well throughout the years. Timelines can be very confusing sometimes haha. However, I wanted to ask you something: How do you believe that they are together nowadays? It probably sounds ridiculous to you that someone even asks this question but I genuinely want to know. From what I have seen this year its seems very much impossible for them to even spent time with each other since they both are constantly on the go, touring, having filled schedules and even if they have time off they apparently are not even in the same country most of the time. Where and when is this relationship happening? Of course they have to keep it a secret so we don’t get to see most stuff but I suppose that makes it even harder for them to be with eachother bc they can’t just visit one another without being extremely careful. It’s not like it was in 2019 when they used to constantly follow each other around the globe. Right now it feels like they don’t even talk. That’s how i view it. I hope it doesn’t come across rude, I really don’t mean it that way. It’s just my opinion. I certainly believe that holivia is a stunt 100%. Even without having Larry in mind it’s so obvious that that relationship is not real. Im a little confused why Harry even agreed to do that in the first place, I don’t think he was forced into this, at least not completely. Of course i witnessed all the stuff that has happend over the past few months and it made me go crazy just like you all. And until a few weeks ago I was almost certain that they are actually together. All the signalling just made it very easy to believe that. But at this point I just wonder if they actually send signals or if they are just baiting to some extent? Some of these things are probably also just bad luck, like just coincidences but apart from that I just really don’t know anymore why they wouldn’t use Larry for bait as well. Of course not everything comes down to that but i definitely think both of them already used Larry for their carrier/promo in the past. I feel like Louis is very inconsistent with Larry in general, you never really know what to expect from him. And i really wanna understand this behavior of him pointing to Larry signs, the thing with the outro songs and the playlist and all that. Some of these things felt very genuine and personal other things felt a little too much (like the blue direction drink that was green, I think that was for fan service). I just have no explanation for all that so I can understand why people believe Larry is real these days. But thinking about it logically it doesn’t really seem to make sense to me. My point is: it’s hard for me to believe in it these days and I also don’t understand why some larries constantly defend everything they do and convince themselves that they are being forced into stunts for example. I think it’s okay to question them as well and to criticize their behavior, too. They way Harry acts toward Olivia is very bad imo and that’s regardless of them being real or not (they are fake as fuck). As much as I dislike her, she is literally just doing her job. It’s what she is supposed to do as part of the stunt. Harry doesn’t do anything in return. So that’s another thing that turns me off bc I really don’t understand what’s going on there haha. It’s just naive to me to think he is that powerless that he was forced into this Situation. That’s all. I hope you have a nice day and I hope i didn’t offend anyone by saying all this.

Hi, darling. I’m not going to answer to each of these questions individually because I have tags that cover these topics all the time, so maybe it’s better if you can do your own research and then make up your mind about it. So please check: THEY NEVER BROKE UP, 2022 LARRY, LARRY ON TOUR, ALWAYS AROUND, FOR BEGINNERS. Good luck 😚

[twstwonderlandstuff]

thinking of valie being possessed by a ghost who's just a lil strange

valie uses she/he pronouns

so when all the twst cast meet up in the party area and valie is nowhere to be found (grim is there w. them ) and they're panicking, possessed! valie walks up to them, like this:

"ha." a slow clap can be heard as heels click up to the halloweenders. "a most entertaining show."

valie stands before them, in an entirely new look than the one they've seen him in. now, she is clothed with a sleek black dress with an open back, one that drapes down the her feet. silver jewelry rests on her neck, and his hair is kept in an updo.

a beverage is in one hand as he stalks towards them almost uncertainly, which each step taking longer than it should.

"HENCHMAN!" grim rushes towards his partner, but is put off by the snarl valie emits.

"i speak to no vermin."

"malleus, you promised we'd be safe!" grim hisses, to which malleus replies with a scowl.

"i have every intention to keep it that way."

"no, don't." the ghost in valie drawls, swerving dangerously. "i mean this body no harm."

"how are we supposed to know that when the rest of the ghosts-", ace shoots a dirty look at malleus. "did that to us?!"

"well, you see, unlike the other ghosts, I only wish to fulfill what I couldn't before my passing. I have no desire the serve the boss."

"you could've just done that with your ghost form. I see no need to do that with the possession of another's body." riddle points out.

"you living creatures wouldn't understand." valie dictates with vermin. "and I have no reason to explain my reasons. however, if you listen to my demands, this body will be returned to you safe and sound."

"like hell we'll do that!" deuce shouts. "i've got a bone AND two to pick with you!"

"really? even if this body is magicless? that doesn't sound fair at all." valie chuckles, seeing the pause in deuce's body. "I don't believe you take to the news well either."

"well, that's true... we can't hurt the prefect, since he can't defend himself..." sebek mutters. "but I CANNOT let someone be possessed under MY watch again!"

"I agree. we'll listen to your condition, on the account that you let the prefect go." silver agrees, nodding.

"very well, we have a deal." valie grins victoriously. "now... what do you think of this dress?"

"...huh?" is everyone's collective reply.

"don't just gape at me, say something. I do work hard on the few garments I can find, and this is the reaction I get? men, the same in every dimension..."

"does this mean valie is in... dead people clothes?" epel whispers in horror. sebek lets out a loud gasp in reply.

"hmm, well if critic is what you need, I can certainly give you that." vil snaps, moving towards the front of the crowd. "objectively speaking, the clothing is nothing incredible. it's just a dress that is backless- there's nothing more to it."

"however," vil adds, circling around valie. "the way you styled his hair, along with the accessories you've added compliments the simplicity of the dress. it's done well, but nothing spectacular."

"truly? done well?" the ghost in valie smiles, pleased. "good. that is all."

"eh?"

"were you expecting more? I only wanted critique on the work that I have done. now, as promised," valie sits down on the chair, crossing her legs. "the reward."

the ghost leaves the prefect's body and soon, the prefect opens his eyes. "...hey... oh, wow, my body feels weird- oh!" grim leaps at him quickly , pressing their noses together in a slue for comfort.

"ya okay?"

"are you alright?" silver asks, approaching the prefect and gently cupping his cheeks.

"kind of? i feel disoriented, but otherwise I'm okay. is someone gonna tell me what happened, or..."

"we'll fill you in."

=

"what a weirdo! what kinda ghost does that?! aren't you supposed to do unspeakable things with my body or something?!"

"are you saying you wanted them to!?"

"no, but that's what happens in the movies!"

[college-girl199328]

Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida signed a bill into law Wednesday to expand the state's ability to move migrants in response to Democratic-led states' actions last year when DeSantis authorized sending two planes filled with Venezuelan and Colombian migrants to Martha's Vineyard, the vacation island in Massachusetts, as part of a political stunt aimed at opposing President Joe Biden's border policy. 

The move triggered several lawsuits questioning its legality, including one from Florida Democratic state Sen. Jason Pizzo, whose initial transport bill, from 2022 on, specified that state funds must be used to transport migrants only out of Florida, yet the governor orchestrated flights out of Texas. 

Under the expanded law, Florida could transport migrants from any state while keeping the identities of the transportation companies private, so from his office in the governor's mansion, he tweeted a photo of himself doing so. 

Still, he did address the legislation publicly after fielding a question about it from a reporter in West Palm Beach, where he was unveiling a separate technology proposal to defend the immigration policy, saying Biden's border actions had necessitated that he act. 

"What it's done is it's highlighted this issue in a way that would not have been highlighted any other way," he said, adding: "I would love to not have to deal with this at all on that border for over two years, viewed by critics as a cruel stunt that misled vulnerable migrants."

In political circles, it was also seen as an attempt to generate headlines ahead of a possible presidential run of the transportation programs, which have said that the significant costs of providing migrants with food, shelter, and medical care should be borne not just by states along the US-Mexico border but also by the immigration rights firm representing a group of migrants and an immigration nonprofit network, which sued DeSantis, alleging migrants were tricked into boarding the flights with false promises of jobs and other support. 

Despite the legal and political backlash, DeSantis pushed ahead with the program expansion, bringing lawmakers to Tallahassee last week to fast-track the bill through both chambers of the legislature, which has been supportive of his proposals: "We are using all available tools to protect our citizens from Biden's open border policies," DeSantis tweeted on Wednesday, after signing legislation to continue the program of transporting illegal aliens to sanctuary jurisdictions. "Thank you to the legislature for maintaining this valuable tool."

The state still has millions set aside for migrant transportation, but DeSantis has asked lawmakers to allocate $12 million more through their separate budget-making process when they meet for their regular session in March because these are sanctuary jurisdictions that boasted only a few years ago about how nobody was illegal.

So-called "sanctuary cities," which limit their cooperation with federal immigration authorities by refusing to report or hand over certain undocumented immigrants for deportation, have said they agree with former President Donald Trump's border policies that required migrants to wait in Mexico for their immigration appointments in the US.

US Customs and Border Protection in Miami reported that the state has seen a 400% increase in migrants from Cuba and Haiti arriving by boat since October of last year, according to CBS News.

[sylvielauffeydottir]

Hello, it is I, your friendly neighborhood historian. I am ready to lose followers for this post, but I have two masters degrees in history and one of my focuses has been middle eastern area studies. Furthermore, I’ve been tired of watching the world be reduced to pithy little infographics, and I believe there is no point to my education if I don’t put it to good use. Finally, I am ethnically Asheknazi Jewish. This does not color my opinion in this post — I am in support of either a one or two state solution for Israel and Palestine, depending on the factors determined by the Palestinian Authority, and the Israeli Government does not speak for me. I hate Netanyahu. A lot. With that said, my family was slaughtered at Auschwitz-Birkenau. I have stood in front of that memorial wall at the Holocaust memorial in DC for my great uncle Simon and my great uncle Louis and cried as I lit a candle. Louis was a rabbi, and he preached mitzvot and tolerance. He died anyway. 

There’s a great many things I want to say about what is happening in the Middle East right now, but let’s start with some facts. 

In early May, there were talks of a coalition government that might have put together (among other parties, the Knesset is absolutely gigantic and usually has about 11-13 political parties at once) the Yesh Atid, a center-left party, and the United Arab List, a Palestinian party. For the first time, Palestinians would have been members of the Israeli government in their own right. And what happened, all of the sudden? A war broke out. A war that, amazingly, seemed to shield Benjamin Netanyahu from criminal prosecution, despite the fact that he has been under investigation for corruption for some time now and the only thing that is stopping a real investigation is the fact that he is Prime Minister.

Funny how that happened. 

There’s a second thing people ought to know, and it is about Hamas. I’ve found it really disturbing to see people defending Hamas on a world stage because, whether or not people want to believe it, Hamas is a terrorist organization. I’m sorry, but it is. Those are the facts. I’m not being a right wing extremist or even a Republican or whatever else or want to lob at me here. I’m a liberal historian with some facts. They are a terrorist organization, and they don’t care if their people die. 

Here’s what you need to know: 

There are two governments for the occupied Palestinian territories in the West Bank and Gaza. In April 2021, Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas postponed planned elections. He said it was because of a dispute amid Israeli-annexed East Jerusalum. He is 85 years old, and his Fatah Party is losing power to Hamas. Everyone knows that. Palestinians know that. 

Here’s the thing about Hamas: they might be terrorists, but aren’t idiots. They understand that they have a frustrated population filled with people who have been brutalized by their neighbors. And they also understand that Israel has something called the iron dome defense system, which means that if you throw a rocket at it, it probably won’t kill anyone (though there have been people in Israel who died, including Holocaust survivors). Israel will, however, retaliate, and when they do, they will kill Palestinian civilians. On a world stage, this looks horrible. The death toll, because Palestinians don’t have the same defense system, is always skewed. Should the Israeli government do that? No. It’s morally repugnant. It’s wrong. It’s unfair. It’s hurting people without the capability to defend themselves. But is Hamas counting on them to for the propaganda? Yeah. Absolutely. They’re literally willing to kill their other people for it.

You know why this works for Hamas? They know that Israel will respond anyway, despite the moral concerns. And if you’re curious why, you can read some books on the matter (Six Days of War by Michael Oren; The Yom Kippur War by Abraham Rabinovich; Rise and Kill First by Ronen Bergmen; Antisemitism by Deborah Lipstadt; and Israel: A Concise History of a Nation Reborn by Daniel Gordis). The TL;DR, if you aren’t interested in homework, is that Israel believes they have no choice but to defend themselves against what they consider ‘hostile powers.’ And it’s almost entirely to do with the Holocaust. It’s a little David v Goliath. It is, dare I say, complicated.

I’m barely scratching the surface here. 

(We won’t get into this in this post, though if you want to DM me for details, it might be worth knowing that Iran funds Hamas and basically supplies them with all of their weapons, and part of the reason the United States has been so reluctant to engage with this conflict is that Iran is currently in Vienna trying to restore its nuclear deal with western powers. The USA cannot afford to piss off Iran right now, and therefore cannot afford to aggravative Hamas and also needs to rely on Israel to destroy Irani nuclear facilities if the deal goes south. So, you know, there is that).

There are some people who will tell you that criticism of the Israel government is antisemitic. They are almost entirely members of the right wing, evangelical community, and they don’t speak for the Jewish community. The majority of Jewish people and Jewish Americans in particular are criticizing the Israeli government right now. The majority of Jewish people in the diaspora and in Israel support Palestinian rights and are speaking out about it. And actually, when they talk about it, they are putting themselves in great danger to do so. Because it really isn’t safe to be visibly Jewish right now. People may not want to listen to Jews when they speak about antisemitism or may want to believe that antisemitism ‘isn’t real’ because ‘the Holocaust is over’ but that is absolutely untrue. In 2019, antisemitic hate crimes in the United States reached a high we have never seen before. I remember that, because I was living in London, and I was super scared for my family at the time. Since then, that number has increased by nearly 400% in the last ten days. If you don’t believe me, have some articles about it (one, two, three, four, and five, to name a few). 

I live in New York City, where a man was beaten in Time Square while attending a Free Palestine rally and wearing a kippah. I’m sorry, but being visibly Jewish near a pro-Palestine rally? That was enough to have a bunch of people just start beating on him? I made a previous post detailing how there are Jews being attacked all over the world, and there is a very good timeline of recent hate crimes against Jews that you can find right here. These are Jews, by the way, who have nothing to do with Israel or Palestine. They are Americans or Europeans or Canadians who are living their lives. In some cases, they are at pro-Palestine rallies and they are trying to help, but they just look visibly Jewish.  God Forbid we are the wrong ethnicity for your rally, even if we agree.

This is really serious. There are people calling for the death of all Jews. There are people calling for another Holocaust. 

There are 14 million Jews in the world. 14 million. Of 7.6 billion. And you think it isn’t a problem the way people treat us?

Anyway (aside from, you know, compassion), why does this matter? This matters because stuff like this deters Jews who want to be part of the pro-Palestine movement because they are literally scared for their safety. I said this before, and I will say it again: Zionism was, historically speaking, a very unpopular opinion. It was only widespread antisemitic violence (you know, the Holocaust) that made Jews believe there was a necessity for a Jewish state. Honestly, it wasn’t until the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting that I supported it the abstract idea too.

I grew up in New York City, I am a liberal Jew, and I believe in the rights of marginalized and oppressed people to self-determine worldwide. Growing up, I also fit the profile of what many scholars describe as the self hating Jew, because I believed that, in order to justify myself in American liberal society, I had to hate Israel, and I had to be anti-Zionist by default, even if I didn’t always understand what ‘Zionism’ meant in abstract. Well, I am 27 years old now with two masters degrees in history, and here is what Zionism means to me: I hate the Israeli government. They do not speak for me. But I am not anti-Zionist. I believe in the necessity for a Jewish state — a state where all Jews are welcome, regardless of their background, regardless of their nationality. 

There needs to be a place where Jews, an ethnic minority who are unwelcome in nearly every state in the world, have a place where they are free from persecution — a place where they feel protected. And I don’t think there is anything wrong with that place being the place where Jews are ethnically indigenous to. Because believe it or not, whether it is inconvenient, Jews are indigenous to the land of Israel. I’ve addressed this in this post.

With that said, that doesn’t mean you can kick the Palestinian people out. They are also indigenous to that land, which is addressed in the same post, if you don’t trust me. 

What is incredible to me is that Zionism is defined, by the Oxford English Dixtionary, as “A movement [that called originally for] the reestablishment of a Jewish nationhood in Palestine, and [since 1948] the development of the State of Israel.” Whether we agree with this or not, there were early disagreements about the location of a ‘Jewish state,’ and some, like Maurice de Hirsch, believed it ought to be located in South America, for example. Others believed it should be located in Africa. The point is that the original plans for the Jewish state were about safety. The plan changed because Jews wanted to return to their homeland, the largest project of decolonization and indigenous reclamation ever to be undertaken by an indigenous group. Whether you want to hear that or not, it is true. Read a book or two. Then you might know what I mean.

When people say this is a complicated issue, they aren’t being facetious. They aren’t trying to obfuscate the point. They often aren’t even trying to defend the Israeli government, because I certainly am not — I think they are abhorrent. But there is no future in the Middle East if the Israelis and Palestinians don’t form a state that has an equal right of return and recognizes both of their indigenousness, and that will never happen if people can’t stop throwing vitriolic rhetoric around.  Is the Israeli Government bad? Yes. Are Israeli citizens bad? Largely, no. They want to defend their families, and they want to defend their people. This is basically the same as the fact that Palestinian people aren’t bad, though Hamas often is. And for the love of god, stop defending terrorist organizations. Just stop. They kill their own people for their own power and for their own benefit. 

And yes, one more time, the Israeli government is so, so, so wrong. But god, think about your words, and think about how you are enabling Nazis. The rhetoric the left is using is hurting Jews. I am afraid to leave my house. I’m afraid to identify as Jewish on tumblr. I’m afraid for my family, afraid for my friends. People I know are afraid for me. 

It’s 2021. I am not my great uncle. I cried for him, but I shouldn’t have to die like him. 

Words have consequences. Language has consequences. And genuinely, I do not think everyone is a bad person, so think about what you are putting into the world, because you’d be surprised how often you are doing a Nazi a favor or two. 

Is that really what you want? To do a Nazi a favor or two? I don’t think that you do. I hope you don’t, at least.

That’s all. You know, five thousand words later. But uh, think a little. Please. 

[kaidenya]

Getting Caught ✧ MHA

Description: Headcanons for getting caught in a intimate moment with Hitoshi Shinso, Tenya Iida, Mirio Togata, & Tomura Shigaraki

WARNING: NSFW, suggestive content NOTE: This is a repost of an old SHITPOST headcanon I had on my previous account so if this looks familiar I hope you enjoy it the second time around!

“Nobody will know...”

Shinso

Shinso would go to his grave claiming that you were to blame for this situation

But in all honesty, he had been allowing things to build for far too long

You two weren’t necessarily a secret, but most people just assumed you were bEsT fRiEnDs 🥴

It was an honest misunderstanding

You had decided to keep physical contact to a minimum after an unfortunate attempt at holding his hand left you believing he didn’t enjoy any forms of PDA.

Shinso had just assumed the same about you.

However, as the two of you grew more serious, you found it more difficult to keep your hands to yourself

It just so happened your boyfriend had been working extremely hard in the hero course and it s h o w e d

You had found yourself admiring his changing physique and in turn, found you weren’t the only one admiring your boyfriend.

You weren’t necessarily jealous— you trusted him more than anything, but he tended to be socially constipated

And nobody seemed to know about you. Thus giving the other interested parties an unintentional greenlight to flirt with him. And there was one girl that had stood out among the sea of suitors.

Each time you saw the second-year girl perch next to Shinso it made your skin crawl, but no lines had been crossed.

Until they were.

Your knuckles were gripping the strap of your bag so tightly it ached when you made your way to where your boyfriend was perched outside

The second-year didn’t even acknowledge you as she continued her flirtatious ways and you don’t resist the urge to roll your eyes as you settle into the place next to him.

He had flashes you a lazy smile before focusing back on his phone screen.

Then her hand landed on his upper thigh

Let me tell you: sleepy boy was shocked when she touched him, but he was EVEN MORE SHOCKED when you took her by the wrist and tossed her hand to the side

You waste no time threading your fingers with his, rising to your feet and all but hauling him from his seat

His amusement only grew as he realized just how jealous you had gotten, a smirk forming over his lips as he set to teasing you

‘What’s the matter, kitty? You don’t like anyone touching daddy?’

NO, YOU DO NOT

You have no idea how you ended up on your knees in a supply closet??

Shinso is feeling very sure of himself above you, using the hand that was gripping the back of your neck as leverage to hold you down on his length

k i n g of dirty talk 🤭

Absolutely cannot help himself when it comes to telling you how pretty you look choking on his cock

Honestly doesn’t last long, but what do you expect? Seeing your jealous and possessive response to the girl he had given little to no acknowledgment had lit a fire in his chest

He was desperate to get his hands on you, to remind you that he was just as much yours as you were his.

And when he does— oh MAN he makes you forget all about the second-year girl

He has one of your legs draped over his shoulder as he goes down on you, licking and sucking at you in a way that had you trembling

You accidentally knock over a pile of brooms and mops, neither of you paying them any mind as your head lulled in bliss

If only you had remembered to flick the lock on the door…

Kirishima really thought someone was banging on the door for help. It wouldn’t have been manly— or heroic not to make sure someone wasn’t in trouble

Besides, why else would someone be making so much noise in a supply closet if they weren’t stuck??

So when the door swung open and he locked eyes with you, still panting and moaning as an all too familiar head of purple hair buried further into your heat—

He let out the loudest shout he could muster. Apologies poured from his mouth as he fumbled to shut the door

However, your boyfriend made no move to let you go. Instead, he hummed against your skin, only leaning back to nip at your inner thigh before speaking in a heavy voice

‘Better make this fast, kitty.’

Iida

So you’ve tried to keep your relationship on the down-low bc Iida doesn’t want anyone to think he’s distracted

We all know he just doesn’t wanna be called out for his obvious favoritism

Before you got together you were constantly pushing him, breaking minuscule rules in favor of gaining his attention. Nothing too immoral, but enough to get under his skin.

Like slipping into class just seconds after the bell had rung, nearly avoiding Aizawa’s attention, but never making it past Iida.

Or when a class had gotten a bit too stressful, the room filling with hot air as tensions rose and you had to pop open a few buttons of your uniform top

Then there was your favorite offense; desk sitting. If there was one sure way to get a reaction from your stickler of a boyfriend it was to place yourself on top of a desk.

Which is what you found yourself doing at the end of an unfavorable week. The two of you hadn’t gotten a moment together outside of your studies and you were growing needy.

So with a few moments of free time before class began, you decided to chat with Tsu and Uraraka, settling atop the desk between them when you had grown tired of standing

The desk belonging to none other than Tenya

Your ankles were crossed as you leaned forward to speak with Tsuyu and he was beyond s h o o k

Immediate hand chopping.

He’s towering over you, ranting about how your behavior was improper while keeping his hands clenched in an attempt to keep from running his fingertips along your thighs.

When was the last time you were this close to him? It had to have been longer than he realized for him to have such a strong reaction— are you biting your lip??

Any response between you died off as Aizawa addressed the class and you were sent back to your seat, leaving Iida far more frazzled than you realized

The moment class ends he has you tucked under an empty stairwell to continue his lecture

Only he doesn’t get very far

Tenya Iida has an authority kink. I take no criticism.

When you look up at him from under your lashes, muttering the words ‘yes sir’ as he chastised you, his resolve was shattered

Has you pressed against the wall immediately, fisting your blazer as he dips to press his forehead to yours

‘Why must you push me?’

Doesn’t even let you answer before his mouth is covering yours, hips arching to grind his obvious arousal against you

Knowing he had been just as affected by your as you had him was enough to spur a moan past your lips and he takes the chance to slide his tongue into your mouth

Although he was MORTIFIED at the impropriety of it all, he couldn’t resist the sweet noises you made as he expertly worked against you

His hand eventually slides between you, pushing past the waistband of your bottoms and grinding his palm against you teasingly

‘Now, who do you belong to, darling?’

You you youyouyou—

Your hand was rubbing along Iida’s hard cock, his length straining against his pants to the point you’re almost worried they’ll rip

Somehow the two of you had been so lost in one another that you hadn’t heard the door open at the top of the stairwell

Denki and Mineta honestly weren’t creeping this time— they just wanted a snack from the vending machine adjacent to you!

Got a whole ass meal instead 👁👄👁

A moan tore from your throat, quickly being smothered by Tenya’s parted lips as you came on his fingers

You had barely made out the echoing sound of objects clattering to the ground through the ringing in your ears

But your boyfriend had heard

His lips separated from you in an instant, shocked gaze shifting into something closer to anger as he recognized your classmates

Denki began stammering out an apology, looking close to short-circuiting as his attention flickered between you

Mineta had let his gaze linger on you for too long. His eyes taking in the way your exposed chest— Tenya must have pulled the buttons loose

You cringe away from his gaze, post-orgasm haze™ spurring you to tuck yourself closer to Tenya to avoid their stares rather than snap at them

It was your obvious discomfort that had kicked Iida into gear, twisting to thread your button your blouse together before rounding on the others

If embarrassment wasn’t enough, the thought of them having seen you in such a vulnerable position had him seething as he began his lecture

Attempts hand chopping them into submission, but they kept disregarding his words in favor of catching another glimpse of you in a fucked out state

All fondness for his classmates had vanished as he stepped into their line of sight, shielding you from their gazes. His eyes almost daring them to continue

Whatever words lingering on their tongues died off, heads bowing in shame as they agreed to keep the entire situation to themselves

After all, the potential wrath of Tenya Iida was not something to be taken lightly.

Mirio

Mirio’s love language is touch, without a doubt, so it’s honestly surprising when he’s NOT trying to get handsy with you

He’s always defended his obvious displays of affection by claiming he had so little free time— he’d be a fool to waste the opportunity to touch you!

Mirio jumped at the opportunity to feel you against him. Whether it was a heavy kiss to your lips after walking you to class, a hand slipping under your shirt to caress your back, or his fingers trailing teasingly along your thigh.

However, as much as he was attentive, he was also forgetful.

It was because of that forgetfulness that you found yourself alone in your dorm. Countless boxes of takeout were lined up on your desk and a pre-planned movie was ready to play on your small tv.

After a few hours and countless delivered messages, you succumbed to disappointment.

The following day Mirio can’t seem to figure out why you’re avoiding him, but he refuses to give up without a fight.

Definitely thinks it’s a game of some sort and takes it upon himself to break your silent streak

It wasn’t easy being upset with Mirio. He had an uncanny ability to brighten any room he stepped into and being irrevocably in love with him only strengthened his effect

He’s always hard for you and loves letting you know just how you affect him— so why not place a hand on your hand, pressing firmly against your back when he slips past?

You always look so stunning— why not feed you compliments at every given moment?

How could he not look at you with the most iNTENSE GAZE undressing you with his eyes in front of everyone?

It’s when he realizes that you aren’t reacting to his teasing and flirtatious behaviorist that he caves.

He finds you between classes, stirring you away from the crowd, despite your wordless protests. It isn’t until you’re tucked away in an abandoned hall that he finally asks what was wrong

You had fully intended on dragging it out, allowing anger to push you on. But he spoke to you in the softest voice, looked at you with eyes filled with so much devotion that it was nearly overwhelming

He is shocked when you shove him away— were you tearing up??

Actually gets super defensive because he doesn’t realize HES the one that made you upset

Once you finally cave and remind him about the date he had missed it hits him like a freight train.

The two of you so rarely got time together and he had stood you up.

‘I’m so sorry, baby. I’ve been so busy lately— I didn’t realize I was neglecting you.’

Does not waste time making it up to you. He cups your face in his hands as he starts placing soft kisses on your face, cooing softly as tears roll down your cheeks

Did somebody say praise kink?

How can you stay mad at him when he’s telling you how sorry he is and that he loves you and you’re the only one his dick will get hard for??

It isn’t long before he’s pinned you between him and the wall, hitching your legs around his waist while coaxing you into a heavy kiss

His hips flex to grind against you, his hot length slotting between your thighs as he digs his fingertips into the curve of your ass

Mirio does not care that somebody could see— his quirk leaves him naked all the time and he’s shameless 🥵

But again he’s so forgetful—

And he was meant to go straight to class 1A to talk with them alongside the other members of The Big Three

So when he didn’t show up Aizawa had sent Tamaki and Midoriya in search of their future number one hero

How were you supposed to know they would turn the corner just as you arched from the wall?

Mirio had no idea anyone was there as he used the hand that was wrapped around your throat as leverage to grind you over the edge—

bOY were you embarrassed when you heard the two boys audibly g a s p

Midoriya’s embarrassment nearly gave Tamaki a run for his money. You were quick to turn away, immediately hiding your face in his chest as he greeted the duo in an overly cheerful voice

Absolutely teases the three of you over the incident FOREVER!!

Shigaraki

Shigaraki was obsessed with you.

There was no way around how infatuated he had become and it only seemed to grow alongside your relationship

He was touch starved. The moment you began giving him physical affection and attention it was game over

He had no shame, especially when it came to his desire for you, which is how you often found yourself perched on his lap no matter the company.

That being said, the leader of the League of Villains became intolerable when the two of you were separated for long.

And a recent spiral of events has prevented you from returning to the hideout, thus leaving the others to deal with him

You weren’t expected to return until the following week. Aside from texting Shigaraki endlessly (didn’t he have anything better to do?) and assuring Twice and Toga that you’d be returning as soon as possible, you hadn’t had much contact with the League

Shigaraki was wound up tight, lashing out at the others far more than usual. That was how he ended up sitting at the bar, Father concealing his annoyance as Kurogiri took over the meeting.

And suddenly you were walking in, muttering a quick apology before taking the only available seat beside Toga

Shigaraki could not keep his eyes off of you, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by the others. It was the most present he had been since you left.

Of course, that meant Dabi has also noticed and never missing an opportunity to mess with their ruthless leader he shifted closer from his place behind you, muttering small talk into your ear

There is no doubt in my mind that Shigaraki was staring at you both like 😠 behind Father

Luckily the meeting had been wrapping up upon your arrival and the group was dismissed, many leaving to handle their own business.

However, the moment you had leaped to your feet Tomura had vanished from the room

With a sigh you moved over to the bar, sliding into the seat that had once been occupied by your man and Kurogiri placed a drink before you

By the time you had downed the last bit the bar had gotten eerily quiet, though when you shifted to speak to the Misty Man he was already looking over your shoulder. With a single nod, he had left the room.

The moment he was gone leather artist gloves shoved under your top, your heart racing at the all too familiar feeling as a palm settled between your shoulders

‘I’ve missed you, pet.’

There was a harsh tone to his voice, but it was contradicted by the trail of open-mouthed kisses he pressed along your neck and shoulder

Your entire body arched against him, head craning back to catch a glimpse of him, smiling widely as you met his gaze and returned the sentiment

A scoff slid past his lips, though you could see the amusement dancing in his gaze as his hand reached around to wrap around your throat

Despite the gloves, he kept a pinky in the air

His mouth covers yours in a sloppy kiss as his hips jolt sharply against you, knocking you against the countertop

Absolutely cannot control himself as he ruts against you, wasting little to no time in pushing your bottoms down past your thighs

Heat pooled in your stomach as his free hand reached between you to pull himself from his jeans

His dick slid between your thighs, a throaty whine sliding past your lips and despite the slick from your arousal the thick head stretched you perfectly

You had been completely lost in him, moaning and whining freely as he continued to rut against you.

There was a click throughout the room, similar to the door handle being twisted and your attention was adverted to the source

However, Shigaraki was faster.

He grabbed the back of your head and using his hold as leverage to press your face flat against the bar-top while his other hand worked against your sensitive center. A loud moan that was undoubtedly his name tumbled past your lips

‘There’s my little slut— louder, make sure they know who makes you feel this good.’

Unbeknownst to you, the person he wanted to be sure knew you were his had entered the room, Tomura meeting his gaze with a smirk as you began chanting his name like a prayer

A harsh thrust of his hips sent you over the edge as you came on his cock, filthy praises slipping past his lips as his hot release rolled down your thighs

He placed another sloppy kiss on the back of your neck before parting from you.

The moment you lift your head and begin adjusting yourself you lock eyes with Dabi

Embarrassed didn’t even begin to explain how you felt as Tomura let out a loud laugh, reaching down to pull your bottoms up after he had tucked himself away

‘Go wait on my bed while I speak with Dabi and I may let you come on my tongue.’

You wasted no time hurrying away from the two, heart pounding from both excitement and humiliation as you rushed to do as you were told

[bloodycassian]

Tender - Azriel x reader - Pregnancy fic. Fem! reader. LONG!!! 

Prompt -  Hi! I just read most of your imagines, and i loved them!  You have me as your faithful follower, I don't comment much because English is not my first language. Could you write one where az manages to perceive that reader is pregnant right in the middle of the war?

You woke to yelling. Not screaming. Not fear or pain, but battle cries that you'd grown to love. They made your blood sing in harmony with the Illyrian voices. It made your heart hammer in your chest, and your muscles tense - ready to fight. Azriel groaned beside you, curling around your waist like a vise. You managed to break free from his muscled arms. Pale light shining through the tent tinted his shadows a light gray. They wrapped around you, drawing a chill down your spine. The war cries grew louder. "Get up. It's time." You shook him, pulling on your light armor. He covered his face with his hands, and did not leave the cot. He groaned again when you pulled the blanket off his mostly naked body. He was never a morning person.  Cassian rushed in when you were putting the last of your gear on, and Az froze. His grip on his pants went white knuckled. Cassian's face was pale, and before he could say anything Azriel was hurriedly pulling on the rest of his clothes. Your stomach dropped at the sight of the Warlord. "It's a diversion." You said, voice hollow. Cassian's slight nod was enough to make the breath leave you. "It's going to be fine." Azriel grunted, pulling his tunic over his head. "We just need to move the troops. Get Rhys here." He waved a hand at his brother dismissively.  Cassian grabbed Az's wrist.  He forced the male to look at him, to see his worried eyes. You tensed, ready to defend your mate even against Cassian's might. "Rhys is on the battlefield already. We're on our own." His voice was low, and the warning in his eyes was enough to make the hair on your arms raise. Azriel pulled away from him, slowly.  He began strapping his weapons belts on, pushed his hair back and sighed. "Where do you need us?"   The air was cold, and the howls of battle echoed across the hills. Azriel's shadows curled around your legs, comforting. Then they slithered their way across the valley where the battle was beginning.  + You could barely raise your sword by the end of it. The mud had been the most challenging part of the entire fight. The enemy horses had done a good job of making obstacles when they fell in the mud, lame with broken ankles and necks. You wished to put them out of their misery, but there was no time. The forces seemed to come in waves. Like a test against your small unit.  Few were lost from your side. The dewey grass steamed in the morning light, carrying up the reek of enemy blood with it. You wiped your face, trying to get the taste of dirt and blood out of your mouth. Sharp stinging pain seared your ribs under your arm. You hissed. Then, you felt the warmth of your own blood. You swore, and looked for a medic that wasn't tending to wounded on the ground.  Some Illyrian bodies were being lifted away, high into the air for burial at their homes. You dared not take a healer away from more critically injured soldiers. You nodded grimly to the ones that you passed. They were covered in blood, and yet still gave you fierce grins when you went by. They respected you. More than any other Illyrian Female before you. It was sad, but you hoped to forge a new path for other females of Illyria. You held an arm under your side and limped your way out of the mud. The packed mess inside your boots made moving your feet hard. You couldn't wait to shower.  You spotted Cassian far down the field, and watched as he raised his sword high over his head. Your stomach twisted in pity for the suffering animal under him. You looked away before you could see the lifeblood drain from the horse's neck. He sent a blessing to the Mother for the animal, and continued on to the next suffering soul that would meet its end via his blade.  + You hadn't seen her in a long while. Too long for a friend, but she gave you that same look she always did when she saw you hobbling up to her for help. Jeva was your favorite healer, and one you knew could keep a secret. She was round, and her voice was light and comforting. She smelled of nutmeg and berries. Something you had appreciated about her since you had met. "What is it this time?" She waved you inside, holding the tent flap open for you while you dumped your battle stained gear on the wood hutch beside the entrance.  The tent was light and airy, filled with small plants of different varieties and cluttered with boxes and books everywhere. Her desk and bed were shoved to the corner, and a long wood table took up the majority of her area. As if she had known you were coming, she already had potions of different types laid out on the end of the table. "Probably nothing." You said, pulling off your armor as gingerly as you could manage. The soft light flickered and changed to a harsh beam when she laid you down on her exam table. "I'm not supposed to be healing anymore you know. I'm retired." She clicked her tongue at you, earning a pained grin. It was hard for you to bother a healer for any amount of time for something that you were sure was so small. But something about it stung too much for it to be just a scrape. And you knew Cassian would lecture you about it being infected if he saw through your mask to the pain. Az would force you to see one anyway as soon as he learned of it.  "You know I wouldnt be here unless I had to be, Jeva." You said through your teeth as she cut away your muddied undershirt.  "Oh, I know. That's why I have my best potions ready." She laughed, then paused. Your shirt lay limp on the table. Her eyebrows knitted together at the sight of your open wound. "Is it bad?" You asked, craning to try to look for yourself. She held you down.  "Metal. Fragments are still in here, likely why it hasn't healed yet." You relaxed at that, grateful that it wasn't worse. "Thank the Mother. Az would have yelled all night." You rolled your eyes, and sighed as she started working on you. The first part was always the worst. The stinging hot potion that made the nerves around the wound numb.  "One-" She began her countdown, then poured. You growled at her, gripping the end of the stained table hard enough to crack. "Easy..." She warned, and smoothed down your hair. She knew how to take care of her patients, that was certain. You relaxed as the stinging eased. The dull ache that it left behind turned into a bad memory.  "I'm going to extract the blade then we can close you up. Simple and easy." She picked up her tools and began tugging away at your side. You could have fallen asleep with the relief the numbing potion brought. And with her humming in the air around you, it was a struggle not to. The time seemed to pass quickly, but when the clank of the metal tools jolted you from your dozing, the tent was lit in orange from the sunset outside. "Relax, we're going to close it up now. Once the potion wears off you will still be sensitive." She placed her hands over you, and the familiar warm vibrations of her healing magic set in. Then it stopped abruptly. You cracked open an eye, then narrowed your brows at her. "What is it?" You said gently, then again when she didnt reply. She stared at you, mouth agape. Her eyes locked to yours, even when you sat up to demand she tell you what the problem was. "Am I dying?!" you took her hand gently, in case she was going to push you away.  Then she started laughing, her hand gripping yours back. The warmth glowed in your palm, the light radiating out from it was starkly contrasting the tent walls bedecked in orange. The light she emitted shot through you, and you felt the wound tingle, and seal. You stared at her in shock. That amount of healing power was incredible. Especially for field medics.  "Youre not dying, no..." She waved a hand, fanning herself. Her eyes were glassy with tears. She sniffed and clutched your hand tighter. "Quite the opposite, darling." She pulled you in for a warm hug.  + You spent the rest of the evening with Jeva. Until she got a hurried message about student healers needing help on the battlefield. You stayed in her tent as long as you could manage with the ringing in your ears. You stared and stared at the mirror across from you, showing you the bloodied warrior that you wanted to be. That you wanted to stay.  The warrior that carried the Shadowsinger's child.  The thought made tears sting your eyes. You refused to let them fall. You had been ignoring his tugs down the bond for well over an hour. You knew he was concerned, but you couldn't bring yourself to shout back down. The only thing that echoed in your mind were Jeva's words "You're pregnant..."  Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.  You nearly punched her when she told you she wasn't joking. The only reason you even believed her was because of that powerful zap of healing she sent to you. That she sent to scan your body and make sure the fetus was okay before you even knew about it. You could barely hear half the words she said as she told you your options.  You roiled with the thought now. The Mugwart she left on the table was daunting. You desperately wanted her back. Jeva would be able to deliberate with you. You knew she would tell you to do whatever makes you happy. You knew that. But you wondered how ethical the choice that made you happy was. Bringing a child into a world of war seemed cruel. Even if it made you happy. You distantly noticed Azriel as you passed him, walking to the forest edge just passed your tent. Worry laced the bond between you. You tried not to show anything back. But you knew he felt the tension, the void there. "Where the hell have you been?!" Azriel's eyes were furious when you passed him, his wings flared out slightly. You couldnt even look at him with anger back. Your emotions ran wild. You were frozen, and as numb as the potion Jeva had given you when she began removing the blade.  "Do you know how worried I have been?! I sent Cassian to-" He tried to grab for your hand to stop you, but you flicked him away. He stopped for a moment, stunned. Then returned with more energy than before. That yawning abyss in your bond was growing darker with shame, worry and anxiety. His shadows roiled around him as he caught up. "You dont get to-" "Azriel..." You stopped in the edge of the clearing. The small meadow was silent in the darkness, not even the monsters of Prythian dared roar tonight. Your mind did all the roaring you could handle, anyway. You tried to focus on the swaying grass, on the soft smell of wet bark and pine hanging in the air.  "Dont try to excuse this I need to know you're okay and-" He stormed in front of you, ready to burst with rage. His fear always made him angry. And for good reason after losing so many close to him.  A tear ran down your cheek, your face burned hot with hundreds of feelings at once. Fear, pain, shock, joy, hope.... elation. You wanted his children. You wanted to help raise his child. You wanted to see Azriel be a father. You knew he would be the best damn Illyrian father there had ever been.  The thought hit you like a well placed punch.  He saw your paleness, your tears and stopped his yelling. You fell to your knees, the mud splattering all around you. You wanted to lay down. Lay down and think about the implications of carrying his child. Would it be good for the baby to be born at all? Just because you wanted it didnt mean it needed to happen. You knew that Jeva would give you a potion to extract it without hesitation if it was what you wished. "I'm-" You choked out, fighting the panic that flooded you. Your mind roiled with the conflict of your mind and heart. It turned you into a muddied, dark ocean on the bond. A turmoil that he couldn't see past. If you were an ocean, he was your lighthouse on the cliffside. Signaling you home.   His eyes darted to your body, to your hands and how they wrung together in front of you. "I'm sorry. I just-" He sighed and took one of your hands. "I'm sorry." He kissed the back of it and brought his forehead to yours. He normally needed a lot longer to cool down after a fight, but seeing you in tears shocked him out of his pride. "I shouldn't have said that... I know you can take care of yourself." his voice was low, and he ran a hand comfortingly down your back. A hysteric laugh bubbled from your throat. It sounded like a sob. You didn't know exactly which it was. He sat back and pulled you into his lap, despite the grass being dewey and damp. He rocked you there for a few seconds before you had to tell him. Before he could be too close if he didnt want you anymore. The doubt crept into your head, and the nerves ate at you. Your heart raced, you could feel it in your neck. "Azriel..stop." You pushed away from him, to catch his beautiful dark eyes. They were painted in a silver hue by the moon above. You took in his face, the curve of his cheeks and lips for possibly the last time. You had to consider the worst possible outcome. You braced yourself for the rejection, for the pain of his reaction. You knew it had to come out. You knew you had to say it now or you never would. Your stomach flipped over and over.  You opened your mouth, a soft sob wracking out of you before you began. He froze. Went utterly still, his shadows even stopping for a second before whirling faster than before. Your eyes went wide. His nose flared, eyes narrowed. He held you closer, sniffing at your neck. He pulled back and his eyes were even wider than before. His mouth fell open when you nodded. "I'm-" "Youre-" his face went through a whirlwind of different emotion. Then, he broke out into a small laugh. He couldn't stop. You felt the tears running down your cheeks and didnt bother to wipe them away. "Honey... I'm sorry." He stopped laughing suddenly. "What do you want to do?" His eyes were masked, his expression the most serious you'd ever seen him. His aura on your bond seemed to go completely gray and still, as if he didn't want you to see him. He masked everything. In preparation for whatever you decide. The gesture made your heart squeeze in appreciation. You stammered, resting your forehead on his. "I dont know." You muttered, voice cracking. Then, he was wrapping his arms around you in a smothering hug. When he pulled away, he cradled your face in his hands. The hands that had seen so much cruelty in his life. The possibilities of the same thing happening to your child made your heart race. "I'm here for whatever decision you make." He brushed your cheek with a thumb. You nodded and let him hold you like that for a while. Quietly rocking back and forth with you in his lap. + You were near falling asleep when the war cries rang out again. Illyrians howling for their leaders to join them. Another onslaught of death coming their way. The calls were distant, but Azriel tensed the second he heard them. Your blood went cold. He buried his face to your chest, as if he wished he could hide there. "I'm not going." He said when you tried pushing him away. "I wont leave you." He promised, locking his muscled forearms around you. The echoes of battle cries faded. He stroked your hair, and traced his fingers along your back. Then he swore. "Let me take care of this." He said, voice edged with anger. Nerves pricked at your stomach, but you stood, wobbling on your feet slightly. He took off into the night sky painted in silvers and blues by the full moon. Then came racing back down right behind Rhys. the high lord took one breath and then he was hugging his brother. Azriel shoved him off, and they shot into the night sky. Well, Azriel did. He dragged Rhys with him. Grunts of pain and fleshy sounds of punching rang out.  You followed them high into the air where they had their conversation. Your wings led you around them with ease. "Stop fighting and use your words, boys." You warned. You recognized Azriels growl and smiled to yourself as they broke apart. Rhys adjusted his tunic and cleared his throat. "I need you there. Cassian is handling the Western front, the others need a leader."  Azriel began protesting against the high lord. "I cant with my mate-" "I know it feels impossible right now but-" "I will not, Rhys-" You set your jaw. If they wanted to fight over if you needed protection or not, you would take the option off the table all together. "I'll go." you said, voice strong since hearing Jeva announce what grew inside you. Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant. You shoved the thoughts away as far as you could. They both turned to you, horror striking Azriels features. "Absolutely not. No." Heat and rage flared down the bond. It made you want to defy everything he said. You locked eyes with him and glared. Rhys glanced between you with tense shoulders. He cleared his throat. "It would be a good compromise, Azriel. You can go together to the Eastern front. Think about it." He placed a hand on his brother's shoulder and gave him a grim smile.  "I wont say a word." He said, summoning the darkness around him then winnowing away. Azriel's cold eyes made him look like a statue. "Let's go." He said, and started circling lower. Back to the meadow.  "I'm going, you cant stop me from following you." You said, expecting a fight. He said nothing. You were met with that silence that drove others crazy tryin to find out what he wanted from them. The bond seemed to snap taut, then go into a relaxed state. He was hiding. You knew it, but would rather have silence and peace than him trying to fight you again.  He walked you back to the tent, and exhaustion took you under before you could remember him laying down with you. You hoped it it was exhaustion, and not whatever the baby was doing to you. Despite your best efforts, you couldn't resist the urge to cradle your belly while you slept. There was no bump, but it felt like the most natural thing to do now that you were aware of the being inside you. You slept hard, and awoke to the breakfast bell chiming. The sounds of slow footsteps marching through the mud kept you awake. Azriel was gone, but the candle on the table was lit. A note lay there waiting for you. His messy scrawl made you smile, the familiarity of his writing reminded you of the notes he would leave you when he had to leave early for meetings with Rhys. "Back by nightfall, lover. A guard is at the tent, ask her to bring you anything you need. -A" You peeked outside the tent to see Jeva there, her long fur coat shimmering in the morning light. Her breath clouded in front of her when she gave you a soft smile. "Good morning." She pulled a muffin from her coat. "Your favorite." She winked, and you pulled her inside. She had a fire roaring by the time you finished your food. "How are you not freezing?" She complained, blowing into her hands to keep them warm. You brushed the crumbs from your shirt and really took into account the changes you'd noticed lately. How hungry you'd been, how tired after the easiest days.  "Do you know... How um..." You gestured to your stomach. She gave a small smile and nodded. "Only a month or so." She said quietly. You stared at your stomach, as if waiting for something to answer you. To give some sort of affirmation that Jeva was right. She continued warming herself by the fire, and soon the tent was filled with her warm chestnut smell. Cassian entered the tent when you were starting to doze off again. The wool blanket on your lap reminded you of a time when you first met Az. Your heart squeezed at the memory of those long nights shared together by a fire. Taking your turns on watch duty. You shook yourself from the memory. Cassian froze. His face scrunched up at the sight of you. The scent, you realised. You swore to yourself, and Jeva only nodded when he looked to her. "Youre pregnant?" He asked breathlessly, and you could smell the fear and excitement coming from him. In fact, you could smell the smoked meat on his breath. And the cold air that clung to him from outside. It was refreshing, like a cool drink on a hot day amid the dry heat inside the tent. "I'm sorry, I shouldnt have.." He ran a hand through his hair, trying to remain focused.  "Its okay, Cass. What's going on? Az left me this note." You handed it to him. His lips moved as he read it. He went white as bone. Your stomach dropped.  + Azriel had gone in the night to take out the entire eastern flank with a small group of Illyrians. You felt your world skittering away as Cassian told you. Your vision went blurry, and tears fell, dripping on your hands that clenched the wool blanket.  "He's on his way here now. He had to answer to Rhys first."  Cassian waited for you to say anything. But your lips just couldnt form the words. The hurt, anger... the betrayal you felt for him going to battle without you. And defying a direct order from his high lord like a fool. "I suggest you leave before Azriel comes back. It may get messy." Jeva spoke for you, and you were grateful. You gave Cassian a nod of thanks before he turned and left. The cold wind that blew in from the door gave you goosebumps.  "Take it easy, you dont want to be too stressed." Jeva handed you a mug of tea and gave you a small squeeze. You could smell Azriel before he entered. Jeva shot him a glare, but said nothing. "I'll be in my tent if you need me." She promised, gave you a look that said 'find me after' and left. Azriel took off his armor plates one by one. A bit too slowly to be considered normal. Stalling. You said nothing. You let the tension roil out of you, let it hit him down the bond. Like a wave getting ready to break. He rolled his shoulders, stretched his wings.  The mask he wore cracked when he saw your fists balled in the blanket. "I couldnt risk you... or the babe." He tried to hide the fear that shone through. The fear of his mate or child being hurt in battle. He wouldnt be able to stand it. The fight was needed, anyway. He needed to get out his instincts to protect protect protect.  You said nothing. You let that looming wave grow larger. He sighed, and sat at the end of the cot beside you. "I'm sorry. I needed....I needed to get my head straight. I should have told you. I'm sorry." That wave crashed, not on him though. Internally, guilt and fear melting in on yourself. "I cant lose you, we... We cant." You said through your teeth, trying to hold back the tears that begged to spill over. He tried his best to hold back his surprise. "We?" He asked, a small smile playing on his full lips.  You gave him a grim smile. "If you're...ready to be a father. I like imagining you, with my child."  "Our child." He said with a bubbling laugh. You laughed with him, and it turned to hysterics.  He wiped tears from the corner of your eyes. "We're going to have a baby?" He cradled your face, looking into your eyes. You took one of his hands, and placed it on your flat belly. "Yes. We are." You said, voice quivering.  He wrapped you into a hug, and you cried together in the cot. 

[crumbledcastle28]

Chapter 1: a tug

Warnings: PTSD, sadness, depression, panic attack, mentions of violence

Author’s note: this is part one of my series called “Burning Red.” This is kind of boring because it is a set up for the main storyline, but I hope you enjoy it! Any constructive criticism and support is greatly appreciated. And if I missed a warning, please let me know!!

After everything you’ve seen, everything you’ve done, everyone you’ve hurt, it felt good to just lay low.

A mechanic on tatooine was not what you imagined, but it did the trick.

No one saw you for who you truly were, and that made you happy.

Well, except for Peli.

You came to her sick and angry and alone, and she nursed you back to health. You would be rotting in the desert if it wasn’t for her, and you felt you owed her a little something.

So, you used your “uncommon” set of abilities to help her with her mechanics in any way she needed.

This included: cooking, cleaning, repairing, negotiating, and most importantly, defending.

Peli was no dummy. She knew you had more experience in that field than she did. So she recruited you, and paid you back with whatever she had laying around. A new outfit once and a while, a warm bed, a hot dinner, and a couple of credits so you could go shopping and get out of her hair.

You couldn’t blame her. You were a hell of a lot of trouble to be around.

Constant nightmares, paranoia, and regret surrounded your aura like a fog. Any normal person wouldn’t notice, but someone like Peli could. And it pissed her off a good majority of the time.

“Stop moping and help me clean this oil off my droid,” and sentences like this one, were said pretty frequently around your place.

Was it even your place? All you did was survive. Is that enough to say you lived there instead of just survived there?

You really liked Peli. She gave you a base. A “home” of sorts, and for that you were forever indebted.

But something in you always called you back to your real home, and that scared you more than Peli’s tough love. More than you could even describe.

~~*~~

It was a pretty normal day on Tatooine. The wind howled, the sand covered everything in its wake, and the heat. You would never get used to it.

You were eating your breakfast when a ship landed on the landing pad, and you could already tell it was a doosey just by the way the left engine was sputtering.

If this ship explodes, we better get a damn good pay, you think to yourself.

The ramp starts to open and you take that as your queue to start the walk to your makeshift room. It was really a storage room, but you didn’t mind.

When you get there, you squat down to the ground behind your door and grab your apron and set of tools. You knew Peli would need some help with this ship.

You hear the ship’s ramp hit he ground and you feel it.

A tug.

Not even a tug, a lurch. It felt like a rope had been tied to your soul and pulled you back into your old self.

This was a tug you hadn’t felt in so long. So long, it almost knocks you off your feet.

I closed myself off from this, you think. I shouldn’t feel this. I don’t want to feel this.

You already feel a headache coming on from the shock and ache in your bones, so you start walking back to the landing pad to tell Peli you aren’t feeling too well.

If I get recognized, we are both dead.

You’d rather get a scolding from Peli than a scolding hot gun wound in your chest.

“Hey,” you hear Peli shout at the client, and you pick up your pace. Your heart is hammering in your chest and you feel the panic ooz through your body.

It’s been so long since you’ve felt this, but you hate how it makes you feel alive.

You finally make it to Peli and you see her speaking very loudly (she doesn’t like to use the word “yelling”) at what seems to be your client.

But this is no ordinary client. This is a Mandalorian.

A very broad Mandalorian who, no offense to Peli, could knock her out in his sleep.

You had heard legends of their kind. But worst of all, you had fought them. And damn were they good.

You hadn’t seen any since the purge. You had heard rumors of them hiding under ground, but they had always been peaceful people. You hated how they got dragged into a war.

“You damage one of my droids, you’ll pay for it,” Peli says, and you really wish she would use a more peaceful tone.

The last thing you want to do right now is fight a very impressive looking Mandalorian covered entirely in beskar while your entire body is tingling.

Is he the one who is force sensitive?

“Just keep them away from my ship” he says, and you are surprised at how well he is taking Peli’s annoyance.

“Yeah? You think that’s a good idea?” Peli responds in a tone dripping with sarcasm and you take this as your moment to try to sneak away.

This however, was unsuccessful.

“Come on y/n. Let’s take a look at his ship,” she says and the Mandalorian turns his helmet towards you.

You probably look like an absolute mess. Your chest is heaving, you are sweating, and you are not at all prepared to do any sort of repairs. You are basically in your pajamas. The Mandalorian’s gaze has you nervous enough, but this familiar feeling in your stomach has you dizzy and nauseous.

Just hold on......

You start to follow Peli to the ship while still looking at the Mandalorian. You learned very early on in your life to never take your eyes off a predator. He follows your form and you try your best to mask his incredibly strong force connection gripping your chest.

This man isn’t even trying to hide it? It’s almost as if he is reaching for me?

You make it to Peli where you finally take your eyes off of him. You can see why Peli was so mad now.

“Oof! Look at that,” she says as she scans the ship with her eyes. “You’ve got a lot of cabron scoring up top. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were in a shoot out.”

Oh my God, he was in a shoot out.

This is really not good. This man could have been followed and you could be surrounded at this very moment. You were a skilled fighter, but those kinds of odds were almost unbeatable. Especially when you were still trying to hide your identity.

You are so tense you feel like you could snap. You still feel his eyes on you, and you are praying to whatever is out there that you can just stay alive. That’s the only thing you’re good at.

“Name’s Peli Motto. That’s y/n,” she says as she points to you with her wrench.

She did not just tell him your NAME.

“This is my operation. You’re not gonna find a better mechanic on the planet,” she says as she leaned in closer to the engine.

“Yeah, I’m gonna have to rotate that. You’ve got a fuel leak. Look at this, this is a mess. How did you even land?”

All you wanted to do was scream.

He is a MANDALORIAN who was just in a SHOOT OUT. He is probably being FOLLOWED and we could be dead because of ME.

“That’s gonna set you back,” she says.

She is concerned about MONEY right now?

Peli is a smart woman, but she was walking you into a trap. You didn’t want her blood on your hands. You didn’t need any more of that.

All of this is happening while you are still on the verge of a panic attack.

This Mandalorian is strong with the force. It is squeezing your lungs and your feet and your hands and your brain. All rational thinking is out the window. You had to get out of here before he manages to suffocate you.

God you hate this feeling. A few years ago you lived with this constantly. It became a part of you. Something you enjoyed. But now...

“I’ve got five hundred imperial credits,” the Mandalorian says.

Imperial credits. Great. How did he get his hands on those?

“That’s all you got? Well..” she says and looks back at you.

“What do you think,” she asks in a teasing tone.

You try to plead to her with your eyes. You are sweating beyond belief and your brain is about to explode.

She tightens her brows in confusion at your state, but continues to bargain.

“That should at least cover the hanger,” she says and you feel your jaw almost drop to the floor.

How can she not see it?

“I’ll get you your money,” the Mandalorian mumbles and you try to take a deep breath. Passing out in front of one of the fiercest warriors in the galaxy who may be here to kill you would rip off the last bit of pride you had left. If you are going down, you are going down with a fight.

“I’ve heard that before,” Peli responds and looks at you in a joking way. Like she was trying to coax you into laughing with her.

You try to chuckle back, but it just comes out in a low breath.

You sound insane.

“Just remember—,” the Mandalorian starts

“No droids. I heard ya,” Peli finishes.

“Why do you think I keep this girl around,” she says chuckling with a pat on your back.

You muster up the strength to smile and feel holes burning in your head from the Mandalorian’s gaze.

He really knows how to stare.

The Mandalorian leaves the hanger, and it takes everything in you not to pass out right there.

You thought with him leaving it would die down, but it’s only getting worse.

“Are you ok,” Peli asks and helps you lower yourself to the ground.

You are breathing frantically now and your hands are clutched to your chest.

“He has it,” you say and you know Peli knows what you mean.

She looks at you with wide eyes and you see the realization on her face.

“Oh my god.... he was in a shootout,” she says.

“Uh huh,” you breathe out. The desperate force connection is starting to fade and you feel your lungs fill up with air once more.

“He could have been followed! Or he could be here to—“

“Kill us,” you say. Peli hates when you finish her sentences, but there was no point in caring right now.

“Ok. Get inside. If I need you I will call for you,” she says and you nod, slowly getting to your feet.

You start to walk back to your room, with Peli’s arms guiding you, while taking deep breaths, but you freeze when you sense something else coming out of the ship and you snap your head to the ramp.

“What,” Peli says as she follows your gaze.

Your heart flutters. The force is slowly starting to ease its nasty grip on you.

If you didn’t sense the creature, you would miss it.

A little green baby, wrapped in what looked like a potato sack, was strolling down the ramp, looking directly at you.

“It’s him,” you say.

“He has it.”

[itsclydebitches]

I’ve been seeing an uptick in “anti-RWDE” posts lately  — which is a phenomenon I’d like to comment on at a later date  — but for now one of them (quite unintentionally) made me realize something about the finale that I haven’t seen others discuss yet. 

So RWBYJNOR saves everyone, right? Let’s just put aside the animation for a moment  — which didn’t show any army members making it out  — as well as the forgotten side characters  — Maria, Pietro, Qrow’s group isn’t forgotten, but still left behind  — and take things on good faith here. We’ll read the finale through the thematic intention: RWBYJNOR saved “everyone” in the Kingdom of Atlas in Volume 8, deliberately contrasting them with Ironwood who was willing to sacrifice a chunk of the Kingdom in Volume 7. Forget all the messiness and just accept that regardless of the consequences  — like a destroyed Kingdom and a “dead” team  — the heroes are heroic because they didn’t give into a “lesser evil” thinking and managed to save everyone. 

Now, how was that possible? 

Let’s go back to the beginning of the seventh episode of Volume 8, “War.” Salem’s grimm have just burrowed through Atlas’ defenses and taken them out. The shields are gone. She flies Monstra into the fields and releases an army of darkness that immediately heads for the city. What’s the very first thing Ironwood does? 

Soldier: Yes, sir?

Ironwood: I am evacuating all citizens to the subway. Prepare Manta Squad Omega, and dispatch to every part of Atlas.

Soldier: But sir-

Ironwood: Now!

He evacuates the people, with “the people” meaning all the Atlesians and however many Mantle folk got to the city prior to Salem’s arrival. When this episode aired I mentioned being confused as to why the soldier was so hesitant. Why wouldn’t you want the people to get to safety when a grimm army is heading their way? Fans against Ironwood took the soldier’s side, claiming that Mountain Glenn proved that any underground evacuation is a death sentence and thus he obviously doesn’t really care about the peoples’ safety. Fans in support of/neutral towards Ironwood pointed out that this is a pretty big leap, no one is coming up with a better idea for what he should do instead, and that within these circumstances it reads like the soldiers is illogically against this idea simply because everyone is against Ironwood now. The show wants characters criticizing his decisions and making him out to look like a crazed dictator... even during moments when it doesn’t make any sense to be upset with him. Shooting the councilman yes, trying to keep the people safe no. Basically, this small exchange was a mess, but the rest of the volume proved that this was a sound call. The subway never collapsed and no grimm ever made it to that enclosed space to pick the civilians off like fish in an underground barrel. 

So, why didn’t that happen? Well, one answer is because Oscar and Ozpin destroyed the whale. But how did they have time to do that? Without the people dying while they were being tortured, talking to Hazel, escaping with Emerald, fighting Salem, etc.? A lot happened between Salem starting her attack and Oscar ending it, so why wasn’t 2/3rds of the Kingdom’s population decimated during that time? 

Because Ironwood sent his army out to keep the grimm occupied. 

Outside of Ironwood’s cartoon villain actions  — random murders and bomb threats  — which get the most attention due to how deliberately, over-the-top horrific they are, these are the two actions that get the most negative attention from both the story and the fanbase. The soldier seems horrified by the order to evacuate. Marrow is devastated that young adults are fighting in this battle. The fandom is disgusted by both aspects of Ironwood’s character: giving orders that, as general, he expects to be obeyed and having an army that follows those orders. Putting side that cartoon villainy, this is what supposedly makes Ironwood the antagonist here. These are the qualities that have existed since Volume 2, resulting in a “he was always a bad guy” interpretation. These are the qualities that have resulted in anyone who likes his character being labeled as a “bootlicker.” We know these qualities make the fandom hate him because otherwise, more people would be confused as to why a presumably heroic character randomly shot Oscar. Orders, armies, and general military associations are at the heart of Ironwood’s presumed villainy. 

So let’s remove them. 

Ironwood has no evil army. Ironwood gives no evil orders. Power and control lies solely in the hands of our non-military heroes. Everything is better! 

...well, no. Because we saw in Volume 8 precisely the choices our heroes made when the attack started: half of them focused on saving a single individual (Oscar) and the other half kept to the sidelines. At no point did our RWB group act after sending the message and prior to securing the Staff. AKA, during the attack of Salem’s army. We got a very explicit moment in which Ruby looked out the window at the battle going on and turned away from it, continuing to discuss ethics instead of joining the fight. The people of Atlas (which, again, includes many Mantle citizens) had no one but Ironwood and his army because a third of the group was trying to rescue Oscar (they never even had a plan to blow up Monstra — that was also Ironwood), a third of the group was up in Amity, and a third was sitting in the mansion. They did nothing to help the people of Atlas being attacked by grimm. 

Thus, if you remove Ironwood’s actions, everything goes to hell. There is no longer an order to evacuate to the subway. Maybe some people go there anyway. Most probably don’t. They run in a panic wherever they can. Hide wherever they can. Go back home for some semblance of safety. 

There’s no longer an army. Either it doesn’t exist because we’ve determined it’s simplistically bad despite RWBY’s grimm-specific context, or Ironwood likewise never gives the order to protect Atlas’ border. Salem’s army moves unimpeded through the city, killing countless people as it goes. How do we know? Because they’re civilians who can’t defend themselves and there’s literally no one else to help. Remember: Ironwood is not giving orders, there is no army, RWB is in the mansion, YJOR is in the whale, Penny is out of commission, the Happy Huntresses are in Mantle. Those in Atlas are entirely alone. In time, Oscar destroys the whale, but by then it’s too late. There’s no concrete way to theorize how many have died, but it’s inevitably a lot. Everyone else is scatted across the city, trying to survive. 

So this scene 

no longer exists. 

When the group gets the Staff and creates portals for “everyone” to escape through, Mantle is ready to go. They’ve gotten everyone into the crater and can funnel them straight to Vacuo. Atlas, however, is in chaos. When Jaune enters the subway there’s only a few people there, many of which may be wounded or dying. He’s right back where he started, in Mantle at the beginning of Volume 8: needing to go door-to-door to find where people have hidden themselves, trying to convince them all to follow him (remember Oscar commenting to Ozpin about how difficult that was?). Except now, he and Nora are the only ones trying to get people to safey, the city is filled with far more grimm, a significant amount of time has passed for people to be killed or injured (making evacuating them even harder, both due to injuries and an unwillingness to leave hurt/dead/missing loved ones behind), he’s trying to convince these panicking people to go through magic portals, not just walk to a crater, and he’s aware that there’s a very short time limit for this task. 

Jaune returns in a panic of his own, explaining how difficult it will be to get that 2/3rds of the Kingdom to Vacuo. How many are already dead. Barricaded. Missing. Closeup on Ruby looking horrified, but then she rallies. They can do it. Atlas is falling, but residual dust gives them just enough time to find, calm, and evacuate those people. They’re heroes after all. Beating the odds is what they do. 

Then Cinder attacks. 

Suddenly, the group can’t evacuate people because they’re trying to keep themselves safe from her. Maybe Cinder gets the powers because Jaune was off looking for civilians, leaving Penny without a mercy kill. Maybe Nora dies because she’s still trying to help people on the city that plows into the one below. Regardless of how details might change, they’re not getting a spread out, decimated population through those portals before Cinder changes the wish and makes them disappear.  

In this version, the story starts with Ironwood wanting to sacrifice 1/3rd of the population to save 2/3rds and the future of the war. It ends with 2/3rds of the population dying instead. 

This is what I mean when I say the majority of the fandom wants to view a very complex situation through a ridiculously simple lens. The fandom wants to denounce every bit of RWBY’s fictionalized military, the context issues of that aside. The story wants to paint RWBYJNOR as the only heroes, in part because they succeeded in saving everyone (“everyone”) in the Kingdom when Ironwood gave up. 

But they only managed to save everyone because of Ironwood. Because he kept fighting for his people to the bitter end. This is why, though his horrific actions obviously exist in the story, they make no sense (he’ll threaten to kill his people so he can... save his people?) and mess up what little is working in the finale. The story wants us to celebrate the group for evacuating Mantle and Atlas, but the Atlas evacuation would not have happened if not for Ironwood’s actions  — the actions that are ignored in favor of having Winter blame him for everything and then killing him off. The rescue of “everyone” was very much a joint effort. RWBYJNOR’s win is not actually a contrast to Ironwood’s intended sacrifice, for the simple reason that their win depended entirely on Ironwood’s actions. 

If we’re going to celebrate the group getting everyone to safety, we should probably also celebrate the guy who got them all to an easy evacuation point and ensured they weren’t eaten before then. Does that mean Ironwood never did anything wrong? Of course not. As established, the story went out of its way to make him into a villain. Rather, it means that other parts of the story failed to maintain that black and white view, complicating the heroism of RWBYJNOR in the process. If we want Ironwood to be incapable of heroic action, always the bad guy, nothing good to say about him whatsoever... then we likewise need to accept that the group is rather unheroic in many regards too. That, on their own, they would have failed to save everyone, just as Ironwood’s plan failed to save everyone at the end of Volume 7. Because they chose their friend over a kingdom. Because they sat around in a mansion. Because by the time they took action again and tried to escape, without Ironwood’s help they would have lost a larger majority than they originally insisted be saved. 

[youbloodymadgenius]

Nothing Left (Ivar x reader)

A/N: This is my entry to @geekandbooknerd 2k Writing Challenge. Congratulations again, Hayley, you deserve each and every one of us 🌻

The gif is a dead giveaway: this piece is an angsty one 😬 Sorry about that but I feel like I can’t write fluff all the time 😉

Prompt in bold

Thanks to @zuxiezendler for beta reading this for me (hope you don't mind Hayley, but since it was for your challenge... 😉)

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Leaving Ivar is not an easy task.

Warnings: angst; Ivar's temper; physical assault (no harm done, though); Freydis is beautiful; no happy ending (you've been warned).

Words: 2089

Crutch – right foot – left foot – crutch – right foot – left foot

You can hear him coming. Of course, you can.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He's not yet in your shared bedroom and he's already shouting. Instead of turning around, you grab the little carved wooden wolf he gifted you many years ago and put it in your pouch.

As he stabs the wooden floor with his crutch, you can physically feel his anger. "You thought you could sneak out? Uh?" You know his jaw is clenched, and he's probably shaking with rage.

"This is what you intended to do, admit it!"

You just scoff. No, you didn't intend to sneak out, not in your wildest dreams. Not with White Hair's men everywhere, night and day.

A thump – his fist hitting the table, you'd say – and then a roar.

"ANSWER YOUR KING!!!!!"

Glancing over your shoulder, you give him a tired, defeated smile. You don't want to fight. You never wanted to. "What does it look like to you, Ivar? Do you really think I'm trying to sneak out? Of course, I'm not."

"Rumors are false, that's what you're saying?" He snorts and, taking two more steps into the room, he joins you. "What's that, then?" He gestures angrily toward a wooden trunk, filled to the brim with your belongings, mostly dresses and a few jewels.

"I'm leaving, if that's what rumors say, Ivar, I'm just not sneaking out." You speak softly while closing the trunk.

A wide-eyed look on his face, he can't hide his surprise at your easy admission but he quickly pulls himself together, straightening up and towering over you.

"You can't. I forbid you." Giving you an intimidating look, he grits his teeth.

You barely shake your head. There's so much sadness in your heart. "Of course, I can. I'm not asking for permission, you know? I'm leaving, whether you like it or not."

That's when he explodes, his bottom lip quivering. "I SAID, I FORBID YOU! FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, YOU WILL DO AS YOU'RE TOLD, Y/N! I. AM. YOUR. KING!"

His scream is so loud that you can't help but take a step back. But you don't lower your gaze. You won't. You can't. So, keeping your chin up, you inhale slowly. "And I'm still a free woman, Ivar. I'm leaving today."

You know the man you once loved is not going to make that so easy for you. So, you're not surprised when he grabs your wrist so firmly you can't shake him off. Tossing his crutch on the floor, he places his now free hand on your shoulder. Looking at him, you can tell you've rarely seen him this angry. Never releasing the pressure on your wrist, he throws you against the nearest wall so hard that the back of your skull makes a resounding "clunk".

He leans in close to you, his breath stinking faintly of honeyed mead, and presses the weight of his body against you. "You're not leaving, Y/N." He then moves his hand from your shoulder to your throat and the air is immediately stolen from you as you stare into his now darkened eyes. With your right hand still pinned to the wall, you only have your left to defend yourself. You're slapping him, clawing at him, but you may as well be tickling him with a feather – your scratches and punches have no effect on him whatsoever.

"I could kill you, Y/N. Maybe I should." The threat is clear, obvious, but Ivar loosens his grip just enough for you to breathe. He won't harm you. Not yet anyway.

Clearing your throat, you don't look away. "Maybe you should. It wouldn't be the worst thing for me, you know? One way or another, I wouldn't be here anymore."

Your words sting, you can see it on his face as he steps away, wobbling and dumbstruck.

Slowly leaning forward, you grab his discarded crutch before giving it back to him. "Here." You mutter before taking a seat on the bed. Ivar follows suit, flopping down next to you.

Blinking several times, Ivar is obviously trying to come to terms with what you just said. "So, you'd rather be dead than here? With me?" His voice is shaking and he fidgets with his fingers on his lap.

"Ivar, there's nothing left here for me… Nothing… We just don't understand each other anymore, you know that. I don't understand you anymore, Ivar. Since Wessex, you've changed so much…"

You've tried. You've tried very hard. But this man, this king, is no longer the man you fell in love with.

"It's about Sigurd, isn't it?" Ivar asks sadly, but you immediately shake your head.

"No Ivar, you know it's not. I told you, even though I wish you hadn't killed him, I understand why you did it. And I know you didn't want to."

"It's about my legs, then." His face suddenly hardens but you know him, he always hides his pain behind anger. "I knew it. I knew this day would come. You're tired of the cripple, admit it."

Without thinking, you grab his hand, entwining his fingers with yours. As much as you resent him for what he has become, you can't let him run himself down like this. " It has nothing to do with your legs. Your legs have never bothered me, and they never will. You're stronger than all other men, not in spite of your legs, but because of them. Actually, you're the strongest man I know, and I've always felt proud to walk beside you, or to be your woman. I forbid you to doubt it."

"Why, then?" Ivar is so soft now, seems to be so… broken, you have to remind yourself why you're leaving. You have to remind yourself of the horror.

Closing your eyes, you conjure up frightful images behind your eyelids.

"You killed Margrethe, Ivar. You didn't have to do that."

He tenses beside you, releasing his hand from your grip. "She was talking rubbish all the time, she was spreading rumors about me, you know that!!"

"She was insane, Ivar! She was no danger, neither to you nor to anyone. And as for the rumors, I'm loud enough for people to know that you can pleasure a woman. She was harmless, and you killed her, and that, Ivar, I can't understand. And then, you did worse. You killed Thora." You can't help but wince, the stench of burning flesh still so vivid in your mind, you'd swear it's real.

Fuming, Ivar points an accusing finger at you. "She defaced my image. She was plotting behind my back. She was conspiring, criticizing me. She saw me as a tyrant while I was just trying to rule well. She was a FUCKING DANGER!"

Startled by his shout, you stand up hastily. "You burned her alive, Ivar!! You burned her entire family. Asbjorn, her brother, had not yet seen his tenth spring. And you killed him!" You know he can see the disgust on your face, and the truth is, you don't care. He deserves your disgust. He deserves your contempt. He deserves you falling out of love with him. "Thora was your brother's lover and she was my friend and you burned her alive!!! How could you?" Your hands tangled in your hair, you shake your head, still barely able to process the horror of what he did.

"And what was I supposed to do, huh?" Ivar seems unshaken, and it strengthens your resolve. He doesn't know between good and evil, not anymore. You want to reply that he could have exiled her, or had her thrown in jail, but to what end? What's done is done, and your former lover is a monster now.

"It doesn't matter, Ivar… What matters is that you're like a stranger. I don't know who you are anymore. Since this girl, you've changed." You shrug, blinking back tears.

Ivar rolls his eyes. "So that's what it was all about? I can't believe you're jealous, Y/N. This girl… It's just a... thrall"

Oh gods! There's none so deaf as those that will not hear, right?

"I'm not jealous, Ivar. She was naked on your lap, but I'm not jealous. Or maybe I was, but it doesn't matter anymore. And I don't give a damn about what or who she is. But she was whispering nonsense in your ear, and since then you've changed. I don't recognize you anymore. You're no longer the man I loved, Ivar..." Your words are genuine, your heart full of sorrow.

Still sitting on the bed, Ivar tilts his head. "You... You can't leave me, Y/N. What... What will I do without you?" His quivering voice sends shivers down your spine. But you won't change your mind. This man in front of you, unsure and insecure, is nothing but a ghost of who he once was. The boy you loved is gone. Dead. Killed by his inner demons.

Swallowing, Ivar slowly stands up, and frowns when you step back. "Y/N," he speaks again, reaching out but to no avail as you stubbornly put your hands on your back, "you're the person I don't need to explain myself to – not when it matters. You see everything I am and you don't run away from it. I... I can't do without you."

Your eyes filling with tears, you shake your head. "I can't be this person anymore, Ivar. I've tried, but I can't. I don't know you at all anymore. You've become the monster that people thought you were. You're paranoid, and narcissistic, and self-centered. You're cruel, and mean, and fearsome. I won't lie, sometimes I still see a shadow of the man – the boy – you used to be. But most of the time, what I see in your eyes is something scary and unfamiliar. I have said it before and I will say it again. I don't recognize you anymore, Ivar. I don't know who you are. You've done terrible things, which I cannot and will not forget and forgive. That's why I'm leaving." Pointing to the trunk, you bite the inside of cheek until it bleeds. "I'll send someone to get it later."

Heading out, you don't wait for his answer. There's nothing he can say that is going to change your mind.

Yet, you stop in your tracks when he calls your name, "Y/N!" his voice sounding like a wounded animal. Slowly turning around, you can see a single tear running down his face. "Please..." He begs and it kills you, because Ivar the Boneless doesn’t beg; never begs. For a fleeting moment, your resolve falters. Maybe you can still save your love. Maybe you can bring back the man he was. Maybe it's not too late. Maybe...

And then, a shadow slips between the heavy doors of the great hall and you recognize the thrall. She's undoubtedly beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous. Flawless.

Without even according you a glance, she walks with a confident stride and as soon as Ivar sees her, you can tell you cease to exist for him. Enthralled, he watches her every step, a sparkle dancing in his eyes.

Tears flow on your cheeks, but it doesn't matter. You were right.

This is the end.

It's like torture but you can't bring yourself to walk away. So, you watch. You see Ivar closing the gap between them, inviting her to sit down, pouring mead into a cup and handing it to her. "How are you? I've been thinking about you." You feel like you're going to throw up as you see the smile on his lips; as you realize how easily he forgot about you.

His next question nearly kills you. "Are you married?"

You can't believe your ears. You can't stay here anymore. You can't breathe.

You don't want to hear her answer. You know what she will say. And at this moment, deep down inside, you know he will marry her. Of course, he will. He will marry her because she will always be willing to whisper in his ear what he wants to hear.

A blond woman, attractive and seemingly submissive – you know better, but Ivar doesn't –swaying her hips... That's all it takes for Ivar to forget you.

You. Can't. Breathe.

You won't die here from a shattered heart, though. Your pride won't allow it. So, stumbling, your head spinning, you walk away, your fist in your mouth to keep you from screaming.

You were right. There's nothing left.

Nothing.

🛡⚔️🛡

@geekandbooknerd @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @a-mess-of-fandoms @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @ivarthebloodyking @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace

[just-a-really-tall-girl-tbh]

Waiting Room

Summary: Stiles is badly hurt, with only y/n to save him

Pairing: None in particular but sort of reader X Derek?

Warnings: Mentions of blood and fighting, also talk of hospital

Word count: 2188

Original piece please don’t copy :)

----------

Sitting in the hospital chair with your head in your hands you focused on your breathing.

In

Out

Flashes of claws plagued your vision, swiping before you.

In

Out

You scrunched your eyes hearing the piercing sound of your own scream, the eerie sound playing back in your mind, filling your head.

In

Out

You sat up leaning back against the plastic chair, rubbing your face up and down trying to regain some perspective. You stood up, unable to sit in those horrid chairs any longer and also wanting to be moving, anything to distract yourself.

Pacing back and forth in the hallway you consistently looked up at the closed doors in front of you.

‘SURGERY – Authorised personal only beyond this point’

The door stood still, you begged for it to open, for someone to come and tell you, they were okay, that they would survive. You needed something, anything to hold on to. Even false hope was still hope right?

Shaking your head, you sat back once again on the hospital chair.

***

“Y/N RUN” Stiles screamed.

You barely had a chance to face the boy before you were knocked to the ground, the cold floor welcoming your body. Whatever it was that knocked you was now headed towards stiles. You blinked a few times, trying to stop the world from spinning around you. You pulled yourself up against the lockers that lined the boys changing room. Wincing as you touched your forehead, your fingers instantly becoming coated in blood. You looked up and saw Stiles slowly backing away from a large figure, his arms up in defence. You could see his mouth moving, but the ringing in your ears prevented you from hearing Stiles’ pleas.

Eventually Stiles had retreated as far as the room would allow, feeling his back against the wall, his hands searched either side of him, a failed attempt at finding something to defend himself with.

The assailant’s hand was raised, his claws gleaming in the poorly lit locker room, and in one swift motion he had sliced Stiles’ stomach.

You screamed as his body slumped against the wall, the attacker simply left the room, disinterested in continuing the fight he thought was futile. Stiles’ torso began turning ruby red, the blood coating his middle in moments.

Scrambling to your feet you ran to him.

“Stiles? Hey, it’s okay I’m here I’m here” the words came out weaker than you intended. He looked up at you, his hands covering his stomach, a useless attempt at stopping the bleeding. You looked around the room, you needed to stop the bleeding. Grabbing a towel from a nearby bench you wrapped it and placed it on his abdomen, he grimaces at the sudden pressure.

“I’m sorry okay, I gotta stop the bleeding, just stay with me okay? Don’t you dare leave.” His slight head nod was all you needed to know he heard you.

“You gotta keep talking to me okay? I need another towel, and I’ll call an ambulance, or I’ll call Scott and we will get out of here okay?” You pleaded, trying to convince yourself it was going to be okay. You had seen injuries like this before and they always put pressure on the wound trying to stop the bleeding so that’s a good place to start. Your mind suddenly racing, scrambling to remember information they taught you in that stupid first aid course the school made everyone take. Logical and rational thinking was the only thing that would give Stiles a fighting chance. Placing Stiles’ hands over the now blood-soaked towel, you stood taking a deep breath, and began looking for more supplies.

“Talk to me Stiles, I need to hear you.”

“I don’t want to die at school.” He whispered.

“You’re not going to die; I won’t let you okay? Who else is going to tell me when I’m being dramatic or bring Scott and I into the woods at 1AM looking for a body? Who else is going to defend me even when I’m not there to defend myself? Who else is going to make me laugh when all I want to do is cry?” You finished your sentence as you kneeled next to Stiles, your arms filled with towels. Removing one you replaced it with two more, trying to stop the bleeding.

“You gotta tell my Dad, y/n”

“What? Tell your Dad what?” You were focused on his stomach, placing towel after towel anywhere you saw red.

“Tell him I love him okay?” Your breathing hitched in your throat and you looked up at the boy. His face was pale, more so than usual. His eyes lacked the spark that normally filled them.

“He knows Stiles. He knows.” Tears brimmed your eyes.

“You gotta tell him though okay? Promise me?”

“I promise, but you have to promise me something too.” He looked at you, unable to continue talking, allowing you to proceed. “You have to ask Lydia to the winter formal.”

His eyes widened, and mouth opened to object, no sound passed his lips.

“Come on Stiles, if- No- WHEN we get out of this, you have to do it.”

Stiles nodded as his eyes began to droop closed.

“No no no, you can’t Stiles come on.” You reached up to his face, your blood-soaked hands covering his cheeks with the liquid unintentionally. You shook his head and begged him to come back to you.

His breathing shallowed, only a whisper of air exchanging in his lungs.

The next few minutes were a blur. You had called an ambulance and then called Scott. Rode in the ambulance to the hospital and were told to wait outside while they wheeled Stiles into surgery. You stood at the entrance of the doors just staring, unable to move from your spot. Maybe if you didn’t move you would wake up from this horrible dream. Maybe if you didn’t move Stiles would walk out of there telling you it was all a mean joke. And so, you stood. Until a nurse came and asked about your head. You didn’t hear her the first few times she spoke to you, until she placed a hand on your shoulder, and you snapped out of your trance. Your face was wet from the tears you had no idea were even falling, too numb to feel anything other than helplessness.

The nurse walked you to a vacant bed, holding your arms and leading you away from the door you so desperately wanted to stand before. She cleaned your hands, the red painted sink yet another reminder of the events. She cleaned your wounds and stitched your forehead together before placing a bandage on your forehead. Her question didn’t register with you the first time, your eyes fixated on the wall ahead, the imagine of Stiles’ body permanently engraved in your mind.

“Sweetie?” You looked at the nurse. “Is there anyone I can call for you?” The sympathy evident in her eyes and tone of voice. Taking a few moments to answer you searched your mind for who you might want to call. Your parents were out of town on business, too busy with their jobs to worry about raising a child. Scott was already on his way, bringing Derek with him. The face of the sheriff came to the forefront of your mind. Feeling the guilt of having to tell him that his only son, his only child, was in a critical condition all because you wanted to sneak a copy of the test answers from Coaches desk, a fresh batch of tears lined your eyes.

“McCall.” You whispered. “Mellissa McCall.”

The nurse simply nodded and left the cubicle.

‘Mellissa McCall can you please report to emergency bay 3 please, Mellissa McCall to emergency bay 3’ the intercom speaker sounded through the hospital.

Moments later the privacy cloth dividing your bed from the emergency room was whipped open. Mellissa’s distraught face appeared behind it, she ran towards the bed, wrapping her arms around you and tightly holding as your body collapsed into hers.

“I tried Melissa, I tried but there was so much blood and it was everywhere-” you began

“Shhh it’s okay you did great okay?” she comforted.

“I can’t tell him. I can’t tell his Dad, I can’t.” You begged.

“Hey, we will do it together okay? I’m right here.” Melissa always had a way of soothing anyone. Maybe it was her motherly touch or the way her voice had a calming tone to it, but it always helped. Always. After a few minutes she pulled away, told you she was going to call the sheriff and ask him to come down, then she was going to go into the theatre to check on Stiles’ progress.

Leaving your cubicle, you sat on the chairs in front of the surgery. Your head hurt but it didn’t faze you. Losing your best friend was at the forefront of your mind and the thought of not having your cheeky sidekick beside you was too much to handle.

Quick footsteps sounded the halls and your heart raced. You weren’t ready to tell Sheriff Stilinski about his son. Looking up you were somewhat relieved to see Scott and Derek.

“Hey.” Scott said softly as you raised to your feet and were pulled into a tight hug. “Have you heard anything?” Shaking your head, you pulled away, not wanting to make eye contact with the werewolf Infront of you, too ashamed to see the distress on his face knowing you caused it.

Scott stepped back allowing Derek to hug you next. He didn’t let go when you tried to pull away after a few moments, knowing you needed to be held just a little longer. Sniffling, you pulled back, Derek allowing you to this time. His arms stayed wrapped around your waist, his hand comfortably placed on you hip.

Collectively everyone looked up at the sound of another person running towards you all. A worried sheriff Stilinski appeared at the end of the hall, sprinting towards you. Before he could ask where his boy was and what had happened, the surgery doors swung open, a gowned-up Melissa exiting the room. She removed her protective gear and took a deep breath. Derek pulled you closer, preparing for the news.

“He lost a lot of blood. Almost too much.” She looked towards the sheriff. “But that boy in there is as stubborn as anything. The doctors believe he will make it.” Everyone sighed in relief and Derek pulled you into his chest, closing his eyes in relief. You felt your knees go weak and let out a soft cry.

“Y/n, you saved him.” Melissa approached you. “If you weren’t with him, he wouldn’t be here.” You nodded into Derek’s chest, unwilling to separate knowing you would have to face your best friends Dad. Mellissa hugged Scott and then the sheriff, both thanking her for her help.

You felt a hand on your upper back, slowly pulling away from the safety of Derek’s chest you turned to face Noah. His eyes were soft, tears falling from them freely, he softly smiled before pulling you into his chest.

“I’m so sorry.” You whispered.

“Hey it’s okay, he’s okay, we’re okay.” He replied.

“I didn’t mean it I swear we didn’t know we weren’t alone.”

“Y/n stop” He paused, separating the two of you, holding you at arms distance and tilting his head down. “We just need him to recover okay? That’s what you need to focus on.”

Simply nodding you were pulled back into the arms of the sheriff. Looking over his shoulder your eyes connected with Scott’s, his worried expression was replaced with one of anger. Eventually the Sheriff needed to sign some paperwork at the front desk, or maybe Melissa just sensed you guys needed a minute. Either way you were grateful for the opportunity to be able to explain the events to the boys.

“Well?” Scott looked at you expectantly. You sighed and looked at your feet.

“We wanted the answers to Tuesday’s test, neither of us had time to study so we figured we would find the answer key in coaches’ desk and borrow it.” Scott rolled his eyes and breathed out heavily, his mannerisms dripping with disapproval. Derek could only watch on as you continued to explain yourself. “When we got there, Stiles said he thought we weren’t alone, I thought he was just trying to scare me. We got to the boy’s locker room and were about to head into coaches’ office when Stiles yelled at me to run. Everything else is just a blur.” Finally looking up and meeting Scott’s eyeline you saw him deep in thought, the stress of the night’s events, evident in every inch of his face. “Scott?”

“I’m thinking.” He was short.

“There’s one more thing.” He looked towards you, ready to be annoyed with whatever you were about to say next. “Whatever attacked stiles, it had claws.” His eyes widened and looked towards Derek who looked like he had just made the same connection as Scott.

“There’s another werewolf in Beacon hills.”