#though i wanna more people to see what i see cuz im tired of the praise for this man i dont see it

[cherrytea556]

I'm conflicted of wanting to do a vid calling out TBYS for shit the patterns I've seen that others haven't (e.g his speculations, biases etc) but at the same time, that requires me to look at TBYS in depth, meaning watching all his videos in depth, and I honest to god don't know how to feel about that. Will call out his out of pocket claims to random woman being abusive though in any way I can cuz it's just so ridiculous.

[strawberrysands]

Scared out of my mind - Colby Brock

Pairing: Colby Brock x fem!reader

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: angst, fluffy ending, talk about ghosts/paranormal activity, mentions of murder and suicide (in the story as of why the place is haunted), fainting, cursing, not proofread

You groan as the covers of your bed get violently ripped off of you. At the foot of your bed, Sam is standing with a shit-eating grin, blankets in one hand and a camera in the other. Colby on the other hand, pulled your curtains open. You immediately bury your head in the pillow in an attempt to escape the sudden light.

“Is this some sort of prank? Or just straight up torture?” You whine, earning a laugh from both of the boys.

“Sweetheart, it’s almost 2 P.M.” Colby deadpans, and it’s a good thing that your head is hidden in the pillows, because your face immediately heats up at the nickname.

“So?” Your voice sounds muffled but the annoyance is evident in it.

“As you guys can see, Y/N is not much of a morning person.” Sam says, probably to the camera, and you flip him off without looking.

“We’re going to the Drayman’s Manor. Wanna come?” Colby asks and his voice makes you turn on your back to face him. You gaze into his blue eyes just a second too long before answering.

“On one condition though…”

“Anything.”

“Really?”

“No.”

You sigh. “Gimme the blankets back please?” You plead, and make grabby hands at Sam. Colby almost aww’s out loud at the sight of you pouting just for the covers.

Sam laughs and throws the material over you, covering you from head to toe. “Alright. We leave in an hour!” He shouts before exiting the room.

You push the blanket away from your face, and see Colby still standing there.

You raise your eyebrows at him. “What are you still doing here?”

“I wanted to make sure you actually got up, knowing you.” He replies and you laugh.

“Good point.” You get up and walk towards your dresser, and Colby has to physically restrain every atom in his body to look at anything but you. Your hair was messy, your eyes still sleepy and the sleep shorts you were wearing made Colby’s mind wander to places it probably shouldn’t.

You turn and face him again and giggle at his expression. “Cat got your tongue?” You tease, bending over to grab something and purposely pushing your ass out a little more.

Colby clears his throat awkwardly and starts walking to the door. “I’m gonna-… I’m gonna wait outside. Yeah, I’m gonna do that.” He says, whispering the last part to himself.

--  time skip cuz im lazy

A couple of hours later you were standing in front of the Drayman’s Manor, together with Sam, Colb and Kat. Sam began the video and introduced you and Kat, and after that you headed inside to meet with the tour guide. Before you got in though, you swear you saw something move on the first floor, behind a window. Blaming it on fatigue, you shake your head and continue walking.

Colby, however, had noticed your discomfort and gently took your hand in his own. “Are you okay?” He asked. You gave him a smile that didn’t quite meet your eyes and replied. “Yeah, I’m just tired. All good.”

Colby seems hesitant, but you had reached to house and the tour guide was coming your way so he joined Sam to film.

“Are you okay with us filming?” Colby asks her.

“Totally! We get a lot of people here who want to document their time here, so it’s no problem.” She replies kindly.

Polly, the guide, immediately takes us up to the first floor, supposedly the most haunted one.

“As you may know, James Drayman bought this manor in the 1850’s for him and his wife, Laura. It was supposed to be a loving family home, but, naturally, it wasn’t.” She says, and Kat shivers.

“How did he afford this place? I mean, it’s a really big house, and I understood that James and Laura weren’t exactly that rich.” Colby asks and Polly nods.

“Correct. James really wanted to do something special for his newlywed wife, so he thought to surprise her with this home. He couldn’t afford it at all, but he somehow managed to convince the seller that he had some sort of loan going on, and he was able to move into the place. However, after a while, it became clear that James didn’t have a loan or the money at all. So he started to force Laura to bear his children, whom he later sold on a market downtown as slaves.”

A/N: I completely made this place and story up and I have no idea if this is historically accurate so just bear with me here, it’s just a story

The whole group fell silent, processing what she had just said.

“His own children?”  You ask to no one in particular. Just then, a cold breeze moves past you and Kat turns to you with wide eyes.

“Did you feel that?” She asks and you nod. “Yeah, almost like a door opened and now the air is flowing in here now.”

Sam and Colby look at each other. “I didn’t feel anything.” Sam says and Colby agrees with him.

“James is known to target women who come here, so…” Polly trails off.

“Oh my god!” Sam shouts and turns the camera to us.

“Why is it always us?” Kat says dramatically and we all laugh.

Polly then takes us to James’ room, old wooden floors and tapestry on the walls. The air immediately felt way thicker here.

“Is it me or is it hot in here?” You ask.

“Yeah no, I feel it too now.” Colby says.

“James tried to keep it a secret that it were his children that he was selling, but as you may expect, a lot of people who worked here knew what was really going on.” Polly says. “Laura had no power whatsoever. She didn’t want to get rid of her children in exchange for money, so one day, she hid a pregnancy from James. How she did that, we don’t know, but she succeeded and gave birth to a girl named Marie. Laura kept Marie hidden for years and when she was old enough, she ‘hired’ her to work at the manor so she could stay close to her.”

“Did Marie know James was her father?” Sam asks.

“Yes, she did. And this is when the story becomes tragic.” Polly says slightly sad, and leads us to Marie’s room.

“After a while, James grew suspicious of Marie. Probably because she had such a close relationship with Laura. He eventually found out that she was his daughter, so he decided to kill her. One night, he came into her room here with some sort of metal pipe. He hit Marie until she died. You can still see the marks on the wall here.” Polly says and she points to the evident holes in the wall.

We once again fall silent, shocked by the actual evidence that was still here.

“It’s almost like he raised the pipe above his head and just went berserk on her.” Sam says quietly, getting closer to the holes in order to get a better shot of it. Polly nods and remains silent for a while, letting us process what had happened here.

“Sadly, that is not where the story ends.” Polly says. “Laura walked in here, and when she saw what had happened, she ran from this room all the way to the other side of the building, towards the kitchen. Come on, I’ll take you there.” She walks out of the room, leading us through what seemed like a complete maze of hallways.

“Y/N.” You hear someone say, so you turn around and look at Colby with raised eyebrows.

Colby looks just as confused. “What?”

“What’s wrong?” You ask. “Why’d you say my name?”

Colby’s eyes grew wider. “I didn’t…”

Seeing as Colby was the last of everyone, you had assumed it was him.

“Oh.” You frown and you feel this wave of stress wash over you. Colby reassuringly puts an arm around you and kisses the top of your head. “It was probably nothing, right?” He says, seemingly also trying to convince himself. You, on the other hand, weren’t so convinced yet. You had heard the voice clear as day.

Trying to forget about it, you catch up with the rest of the group.

“James followed Laura all the way to the kitchen, and in a moment of rage, he took a knife and stabbed his own wife. Then, realizing what he had done, he sadly ended his own life with the same knife.”

“Damn.” Kat mumbles.

“We still think that it’s weird for James to turn on his wife like that. There’s enough evidence to suggest that he genuinely loved his wife a lot, so researchers started to think that he probably had some sort of mental illness.” Polly finishes the story.

“I understood that you wanted to stay the night here?” She asks.

Sam nods. “If that’s possible, yes.”

“Certainly. There are rooms possible for you to stay in at the end of this hallway.”

----

After getting dinner, we went to our room where we would be sleeping to set up the equipment. After setting up the EMF reader, it immediately spiked to orange and everyone freaked out.

“That’s never happened before!” Colby shouts.

“It hasn’t! It normally takes like minutes for it to even spike up a little bit, we’ve never had it spike up that much that quick!” Sam says excitedly. He grabs the camera and after explaining what had happened, he recalibrated the EMF reader just in case, but the same thing happened. Kat set up some flashlights in case there was actually something in the room with us.

“If someone’s here setting off this device, could you please step away for a second to let us know you’re here?” Sam asks, but the EMF reader was still spiked up to orange.

“Did you work or live here? If you did, could you please step away from the device or turn on one of these flashlights? Just tap them and-“ You start, but before you could finish your sentence, one of the flashlights turns on and the EMF reader turns off.

“Okay, thank you very much. Is it okay if we ask you a few questions?” You ask and almost immediately, the flashlight turns back off again. You shiver and sit a little closer to Colby. Sure, you’ve come on investigations before, but you never really get answers like this.

“Thank you. We’re going to use the red flashlight for no, and the blue one for yes. Does that work for you?” Colby tries. Blue flashlights.

“Did you live here?” Kat asks. Red flashlight.

“Did you work here, then?” Sam tries, but no response. We asks a couple of other questions, but we don’t get a response anymore so we decide to try to go to another room. Marie’s room, to be exact.

“Woah…” You suddenly feel nauseous and stumble a bit. Colby rushes to your side and lightly holds you up by your waist.

Sam and Kat just share a knowing look.

“Are you good?” Colby asks concerned.

“Yeah, I just got dizzy. That was weird.” You say and you assure Colby that you’re fine, but his hand linger on your body for just a second too long.

Sam sets up the music box by the door, and pulls out the Ovilus.

“Alright guys, this device here is called the Ovilus. This way, sprits can come up here and talk into it and it’ll give us clear words.” Sam explains.

“Is there something here with us?” Colby asks, and the music box goes off for a split second. We all share a look before moving on.

“Could you maybe give us a sign of who you are? A name, a job, anything.” Colby continues. “ You can come up to this device here and talk into it, that way we’ll be able to communicate.”

“Labor.” The Ovilus spits out after a while.

“So you worked here?” You try.

“Children. Money.”

“Maybe it’s James and he’s talking about his children? He sold them to work, for labor, because he needed money.” Kat suggests and the music box goes off again.

We freak out and Sam’s signature ‘oh my god’ could be heard.

“That’s one of the clearest responses we’ve ever gotten.” Colby says in awe.

“Could you maybe give us any other sign? We heard that you like to touch people, why don’t you prove that?” Sam says.  

For a while, nothing happened. But then, for a split second, a clear image was in your mind. A family picture, a man, woman and a daughter. You shoot up and almost fly straight into Colby’s arms, terrified and eyes watery.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong angel?” He soothes you. His hand gently runs through your hair, the motion calming you a bit. Kat and Sam are looking at you, worried.

You clear your throat and turn in Colby’s arms, facing the others. “I- I’m probably crazy but suddenly I had like this picture clear in my mind, of a man, woman and I think their daughter.” You say, voice shaky.

“What the hell…” Sam mutters.

“Did you make our friend see that picture?” Kat asks.

“People. Show.” The Ovilus says.

“It showed you people?” Kat thinks out loud.

“That’s terrifying.” You say, a shiver running down your spine.

“Are you good with continuing the investigation?” Sam asks and you nod quickly. The last thing you wanted was for their video to be ruined just because you got scared.

After not getting any response in the kitchen, you decided to move onto James’s room. Again, just like on the tour, you immediately felt uncomfortable.

“For the final investigation of tonight, we’re going to do something called the Estes method.” Colby explains. “Sam here is going to put on these noise cancelling headphones, so he can get the clearest responses to the questions we’re asking.” Everyone sat on the floor in a circle like shape, and Sam put on the headphones.

“Is there anyone here with us?” Kat asks.

“Present.” Came Sam’s voice, almost immediately.

“Can you tell us who you are? A name, job,…” Colby says.

“I own this.. and then something.” Sam says.

“I own this house maybe? Is this James?” You whisper, but somehow still loud enough.

“Yes.”

“Holy fuck.” Colby says.

“Alright James, if this is you, could you give us one more clear sign?”

“Murder. Kitchen.” Sam says.

“That’s so fucking clear.” Kat says, astonished.

“James, it is true that you needed to have more children in order to get money?” You say.

“Work. House.”

“He needed them to work so he could pay off this house.” Colby wonders.

“Yeah.. something, I didn’t really get that.” Sam says.

Kat and Colby ask more questions, but you zone out. You’re not sure why, but your eyes are drawn to the hallway. There, in the doorway to the hall, there was something that you never thought you would see. A shadow figure with a hat on, at least six feet tall was standing there, just looking at you. You are so terrified that you freeze on the spot, unable to look away from the figure. You are unaware that by now, your friends are trying to get your attention.

Suddenly, without a warning, the figure moves closer to you quickly and before you know it, it had somehow passed through you. You let out a gasp before you felt your eyes rolling to the back of your head, and everything turned black.

“Y/N?” Colby says as he sees you looking at the door for a while. He turns around himself to look, but there’s nothing there. When he turns his attention back to you, he sees your eyes grow wider before they roll to the back of your head and you’re falling to the floor. Luckily you were already sitting down so you couldn’t hurt yourself that badly.

Colby’s heart is beating so loudly that he thinks the others can hear it too. He cradles your face in his hands and try to stop tears from falling.

“Y/n? Y/n/n, please open your eyes for me sweetheart. Can you hear me?” He tries. In the meantime, Kat had taken Sam out of the estes method.

“Do I need to call an ambulance?” Sam asks, slightly terrified.

“I don’t know, Sam! What’s happening to her?” Colby shouts. He’s terrified, he can’t do anything but hope that you wake up.

“Y/n, please. I love you, just open your eyes for me. I know you can do it.” He pleads. Both Kat and Sam were worried as hell, but they could clearly see how affected Colby was by this. They had never seen him this way.

After what seemed like an eternity, your eyes flutter open and you groan.

“Y/n? Oh, thank god. Can you hear me?” Colby asks.

“What happened?” You ask groggily.

“You passed out.” Kat says, clearly relieved that her best friend was okay.

Colby helps you sit up, and immediately envelops you in a hug. “You scared the shit out of me.” He breathes. Images of the shadow man you saw flood your mind again, and you break down in Colby’s arms, letting the tears flow freely.

“Shh, angel, you’re okay. I got you, everything’s okay.” Colby says gently, kissing your forehead.

“I want to get out of here.” You whisper, and Colby immediately nods and helps you up. “We’re going home sweetheart, don’t worry.”

Sam and Kat give you two some space, staying behind to gather up all the equipment.

Once outside, you finally feel like you can breathe again. The cold night sky feels good against your skin and you close your eyes for a second. Colby gently cups your cheeks and you open your eyes, finding his blue ones looking at you with nothing but worry.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He whispers. Still at a loss for words, you just stare at him blankly. Your eyes flicker to his lips and back up again. Colby seemingly gets the hint and leans forward slowly, giving you every time in the world to pull away, but you don’t. He gently presses his lips to yours, his hands moving from your face to your hips, pulling you closer to him.

Once he pulls away, you cant help but let out a giggle that makes Colby smile.

“There’s the laugh that I love.” He says and you smile up at him. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” He say quietly, pulling you in for a hug. “I was scared out of my mind.”

"So was I."

[princess-of-the-corner]

And Yet More Random Fanfic Quotes!

: )

*

IcyThotPainRelief: Remember Zuku murder is illegal

Izuwu: Ur one to talk!

IcyThotPainRelief: Look if im not allowed to ruin my reputation neither are u! we either go down together or not at all bitch!

*

Mom-o: Hagakura! That is highly inappropriate! Even if he does sound like an unsavory individual, we still don’t know how Midoriya feels about the whole situation! So, it’s best not to assume his feelings on the subject.

Izuwu: Well he’s dead to me so technically u guys arnt wrong the bastered can rot in hell for all the heart ach he gave my mom!

Mom-o: Oh okay, carry on you guys.

*

SharkBoi: Am i gunna need to bail my boyfriend out of jail?

WeepingDarkness669: Thats only if he gets caught

Pikachu: Bold of u to assume our dear Kacchan knows anything about keeping things lowkey when it comes to acts of violence

*

Tired™: Dont be dragging me into u guys is shit! I was a happy little introvert chilling on my own until u guys showed up!

IcyThotPainRelief: U should of thought of that before spilling ur entire traumatic backstory within a 5 mile radius of Izuku “I will save people with the power of friendship” Midoriya

*

Izuwu: So as auntie Mitsuki is beating my dead-beat dad with her shoe and guess who decided to show up out ow fuckin nowhere?

Pikachu: The pizza delivery guy?

WeepingDarkness: Death itself?

DisneyPrincess: The cops?

AlienQween: *gestured with feeling* Aliens?

SugarDaddy: The League of Villains?

Hentai: Jesus fucking chist guys…

Izuwu: ALL MIGHT!!!

Izuwu: With like?? a bouquet of flowers?? and in a blazer?? Cuz like apparently hes going out with my mom??

IcyThotPainRelief: I FUSKING KNWE IT!!!

Izuwu: Still not his secret love child Sho!

Izuwu: So anyways All Might is there and is all like “what’s going on” and Kacchan goes “we’re beating up Deku’s shitty dad” then All Might said “wait he’s alive??”

DefyingGravity: Deku’s useless Y chromosome user: quit telling everyone im dead!

DefyingGravity: Us: sometimes i can still hear his voice

Izuwu: SO ANYWAYS

Izuwu: Auntie finally stops beating up my father because she too is really surprised to see All Might at our door step which now allows my sperm doner to finally be aware of his surroundings and he looks up at All Might and goes “who the hell are u and what do u want?” and then All Might looks this man dead in the eye and fuking goes “Im here to pick up ur wife we have dinner reservations!”

*

Izuwu: I THOUGHT WE WERW FRIENDS IIDA!!

Saaanic: We are and it is my job to tell you that your entire existence is being held together by sticky tape, a lot of prayer, and spite.

*

WAKEMEUPwakemeupinside: you ever think about how we define sandwichs by the inside of them not the outside

WAKEMEUPwakemeupinside: like you never say “oh i gotta wheat bread sandwich”

*

“You’re worth a hundred of them,” Todoroki said shortly.

“I disagree,” Iida said dryly. “A hundred of any of them would make poor company.”

*

LabSafety101: she’s surprisingly subdued rn, I actually convinced her to take a nap

Dadzawa: that’s because she worked for 72 hours straight with minimal caffeine

LabSafety101: hey chiyo

GrannyChiyo: if she’s already asleep I can’t do anything

LabSafety101: yeah but can you make sure she’s not about to die in her sleep

Yamadad: the boys made sure she ate, dw

LabSafety101: was it healthy?

Yamadad: idk but it was food!

*

UncleGun: I know for a fact that basically every kid in school at least knows half the common swear words

UncleGun: but it’s also really fun to say “dagnabbit”

*

“Alright. I didn’t ask you to get your hero costumes because today you will all be fighting Shinsou.”

The whole class raised their eyebrows. Shinsou tried his hardest not to scream inside though.

Because, what the fuck?

“Uh, sir. That doesn’t seem very fair,” Momo spoke up.

“Yes I know.” Aizawa nodded, “Also, none of you are allowed to use your quirks. Except him, obviously.”

“Why!” Bakugou shouted, “I wanna beat him nice and fair!”

Aizawa was not fazed. “You all know how Shinsou’s quirk works. Once you respond to him, he can make you do anything. That is all. Is that too hard for you?”

The class frowned. Was that a trick question?

Aizawa nodded, and made to sit down. Shinsou stopped him, speaking quietly, “I… I think you’re overestimating my power, here.”

Aizawa just scoffed, “I think you’re underestimating their stupidity.”

[…]

After five minutes, there were only three students in front of him. Kouda, because he didn’t talk anyway, Ojirou, because he had actually learned his lesson at the sports festival, and Sero, who had literally taped his mouth shut.

Aizawa walked towards them and stood next to Shinsou. The ones at the wall, looked at him in varying degrees, of shame and disbelief.

The teacher sighed, “All you had to do was not talk.” He shook his head at them, “That’s all you had to do.”

*

Pro Hero Hawks: So you’ll get to meet all kinds of heroes! Maybe even All Might!

Pro Hero Hawks: Yes, this is naked bribery.

*

“Young Midoriya is quite the hero fan, isn’t he?”

“He’s not just a fan, Yagi-san, he’s not just an air conditioner either: Midoriya-kun is an entire HVAC system.”

*

“Gentlemen, I am here, with some brand new handcuffs! Who would like to try them on first?”

*

Izuku, despite his professionalism as an analyst, despite his commitment to be a hero, still found that teenage urge to throw his head back and groan at the prospect of something that could be seen as a boring, pointless task. He fought the feeling down, self-control pinning it to the ground and discipline clubbing it with a half-brick in a sock before dragging it back into the depths of his mind, and then assumed a low stance.

*

Mirko’s kicks were well known for breaking bones.

Coincidentally, high schoolers tended to have bones.

-

I AM CACKLING I LOVE THIS

[youdontknowwhotfiamm]

homochadensistm was acting nice in that exchange with you, but on her blog she posts many racist memes about arabs, talks about different palestinian journalists she thinks should be targeted by the israeli army, so on. so the ‘civility’ with you i think is a show. but i do want to let you know, there are many jews that are deeply opposed to zionism and the actions of the israeli government, who want to see a free palestine. i am very involved with anti-zionist jewish organizing in solidarity with palestine. i wish there were more of us

I know she is and ive seen her memes. Were being civil because im tired not because of anything else tbh. Also i wanna bring uo the double standard here, if i were to post the memes she posts about jews, id get attacked and kicked off of tumblr but where is that when it comes to her? I personally would post memes about jews because im respectful towards other religions(they aren’t, though i would Post them about zionists) honestly i dint think she has regard for palestinian lives but i dont even care ag this point what other people think. I mean just look at her profile pic, that in itself is racism and bigotry but no shes a zionist nothing applies to her. I dint mind being civil with people who treat me with respect, that does not mean i like them nor does it mean i agree with then in any way (I DO NOT)I genuinly wouldnt care what hapoens to ang genocidal zionist (exceot the obvious exclusions of kids and the mentally disabled) because they for a fact know what they stand for is wrong yet they spew useless and baseless facts to try and justify and wipe the blood in their hands. Hinestky dm me privately i would love to have a conversation with cuz you seem like a genuinly nice person. Hope you have a great day and

FREE PALESTINE🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

Now im gonna show you some memes i have stored.

(No hate towards jews, tons towards zionists) 🫶🏼🫶🏼

[onstoryladders]

Kang was such an asshole for half the episode. Like I know his father is fighting for his life but that’s no an excuse to treat his boyfriend (who didn’t do anything) like shit. I don’t like sex work shaming and that’s what it felt like. Im surprised but glad Kang actually showed up when Sailom called him. Now he needs to be a supportive boyfriend to sailom cuz he deserves it.

He acted like a self-centered prick throughout the whole thing... which on one hand, okay, fine, you're in a very complicated mental space, your father got badly hurt and there's a chance he will not survive, so you regress to your default-mode when it comes to dealing with difficult shit, yadda yadda; on the other hand, WHAT A DICK!

Sailom has been by his side the whole time. He's seen him at his worst and didn't leave. Kang hurt his friends and tired to ruin his life and he forgave him. Then Sailom's BROTHER does something bad and he turns his back on him?

What really got me thinking, though, was the scene where Kang told his grandma that "poor people would do anything for money", which... HELLO? That was painful to hear when we've seen Sailom putting others' needs above his own since the beginning. Sailom would never hurt others, not even if it meant he could change his situation: he only ever hurts himself. Not only that, but I feel like the narrative itself has been putting Kang at the center and brushing aside Sailom's issues, and now that they're rearing their ugly head again, I'm curious to see what will come of it.

I liked the last scene of the episode because I live for the drama and that was full of emotions, but I have contradictory feelings about it. What Kang did to Sailom was humiliating. Sailom just got through a very traumatic experience, and here Kang is, screaming at him, shoving money in his face, shaming him for something he doesn't and will never understand. Because Kang doesn't know shit about what it means to be poor. He doesn't know what it feels to have no safety net to catch you when you fall, to be alone in the world, without family to help you and too much pride to get help anywhere else. And I hope they will address this in the next episode.

Sailom has never asked Kang for anything. He worked for everything he received from Kang's family, and when Kang offered to pay off his debts he refused, because he didn't wanna be a burden. On a side note, that whole scene felt so weird to me, because it showed the disconnect between their worlds: Sailom has risked his life more than once because of his debts; and as awful Kang's situation with his dad can be, he's got a system, he's got money, he's safe and comfortable and has a lovely grandma who adores him, so it was weird to hear Sailom say that he doesn't wanna get in the way of his dreams.

What about YOUR dreams, Sailom?

The world keeps failing him, and he keeps forgiving. For once I just want him to get mad at it instead.

[daybreakerreal]

CW: mild transphobia (mild to me at least. nothing physical just words and selective support)

I'm a very masculine trans woman but I kinda wanna start saying "yeah no im cis I'm just a tomboy" or whatever so people actually respect my she/her pronouns LMFAO!! I already pass as cis when I dress fem I just like dressing in masculine outfits and shit cuz they're comfy and I hate makeup cuz its overwhelming and people see that and my broadish shoulders and assume im some he/they gnc femboy twink or whatever and its soooooooooooooo tiring. like im a girl still just shut the fuck up.

Even my fucking parents (who think they/them is gramatically incorrect and are bioessentialists) would rather just accept me as nonbinary LOL!!! Like what the fuck?? they even use they/them pronouns on me!!!!! Whatever. They don't fucking matter though I'm talking about strangers. Like and the worst thing is is like some people use my masculinity to be fucking exclusive about their support. Like my parents as mentioned and one of my 'friends' in high school told me to my face that she would support one of our mutual friends but not me becuz the mutual was "more feminine so it was pretty obvious they're a girl in a boys body" well you're about to be a mess on the fucking ground you fucking bitch. like god fucking damn. I hate terfs. I hate transphobia.

Anyways if you are also a transgirl and people don't respect you because you're not "feminine" enough for whatever reason, whether its your choice or not, my heart goes out to you and I'm sure you're all lovely and beautiful. Have wonderful days and stay safe etc. Things will get worse before they get better always.

[jackienautism]

In the prologue when Max and Laura and checking the car and talking about "curling up next to a big ol firepit" you get a very brief five second shot of someone watching them from behind a tree and if you listen really closely you can hear them breathing. It's implied the thing on the road was Silas so I assume he must've dipped after almost dying for the nth time and probably wanted to check if they were okay before leaving. But it's 12 AM in-game + Eliza has no reason to sound out of breath so can Silas just not kill people for six hours? Doesn't this completely shatter the whole "we need to cure X tonight" bs if the werewolves can do that? It'd explain why we don't hear shit about skinny bears with albinism killing people at night but it's still odd given that everyone turns immediately after being fully infected. (Maybe it's cuz he's the only NPC with critical thinking skills)

yeaaah i always took that the like. whole little intro thing where we're going through all the trees and forest and stuff? i always took that as being from silas' (or at the very least. another werewolf) pov due to how erratic the camera movements were. meaning yeah, that definitely was silas checking laura and max out from behind a tree. why he didn't straight up attack them though, i dont know

i believe silas mustve been already turned by the time they almost hit him? because for the full moon in august (where the bulk of the game takes place) its a bit after 9:00 when abi and nick encounter the first werewolf. and since it was a full moon when laura nd max went to camp, 12 AM is definitely well past the transforming point i suppose

and just like. based on that and the following confrontations, it SEEMS that werewolves attack without second thought. so, you're right, why doesnt silas attack them in the prologue as theyre checking out the van's damage? why does it take chris so long to actually attack max in the storm shelter? why didn't he go for laura instead, seeing that he was constantly closer to her? so many things contradict one another and just. man. id ont know fjkdgdg

i think they say we need to cure whoever tonight due to what the poem told them (whose information also comes out of nowhere, i dont understand why we're supposed to just accept that the poem appeared out of travis' asshole). i dont know why exactly but it MUST be a full moon to successfully cure someone infected, meaning they can't do it during the day or on another night. and i assume they wanna cure X that night because if not they'd have to wait another whole month and i assume it'd be a bit unpleasant knowing that you'll turn into a mindless deadly creature once more

im terribly sorry if this is FAR from what you were telling me, im tired rn and a little dense nd stupid. so if you wanna clarify if i didn't really answer what you were saying, please feel free! im always down to talk and stuff, thank you for sending something in in the first place though :]

[amxrany]

Rating TWST Events based on how much I enjoyed it [Part 1]

So there won't be a particular order to this, I'll just do all the events I remember playing by memory, and since I'm from the JP server this will contain events that aren't released yet in ENG server so once again skip this post if you don't wanna get spoiled

(Also there might be some events where I might use the JP name or ENG name, it just depends on what I remember)

Ghost Marriage

7.8/10

I played the version where Ghost Marriage Idia and Lilia were released, in which holy shit I went insane with how handsome Idia looked in his card AND LILIA'S VIGNETTE WITH SILVER AND SEBEK FIGHTING OVER THE COLOR OF HIS SUIT????? LIKE THE SLEEPING BEAUTY REFERENCE I SEE YOU

The only other card I have aside from Idia is literally R Rook cuz I got too lazy to grind for everyone else 😀

But story wise, it was funny and really enjoyable

Dance and Wishes

7/10

THE STORIES OF SOME PEOPLE IS JUST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

IM LOOKING AT YOU SILVER AND LILIA (ESPECIALLY YOU SILVER FOR FUELING UP MY SILVER & DEUCE SHOULD BE SIBLINGS AGENDA)

I was honestly so confused when I started playing this event, but thankfully I got help and managed to finish the event on time

The only thing I despise about this event is the rhythmic and that one swiping tile that kept wrecking my combo

Ya'll don't know about the many times I raged over that tile cuz my run was going smooth (like butter) THEN BOOM COMBO BROKEN CUZ OF THAT TILE

(me when my combo breaks because of that one swiping tile)

Beanfest (Part 1) (I forgot the name of both the parts tbh so yeah we using beanfest for this)

5.5/10

I don't really remember much from this event and I kinda spedran it so yeah

All I remember was just that random drop of lore where Leona and Malleus worked together to take Rook out

I completely forgot which specific part of beanfest was that lore dropped but please correct me if I'm wrong here

The cards were cool tho

Beanfest (Part 2)

6/10

Slightly higher cuz I do remember bits of this event and I kinda enjoyed it

I also remember some vignettes from the newer cards, and once they were as cool as the last one

Halloween Part 1: Scary Monsters

8.9/10

Okay so when Scary Monsters first came to JP, that's when I was new to the game, and I was able to finish like 0.01% of the event but thankfully they had a rerun so I had my little redemption arc

I managed to get all the free cards in that event and Lilia from the banners (I was still new and testing out some new things so I pulled out of curiousity)

I actually love this event and the lore they gave us with how the boys deal with outsiders

BUT HOLY SHIT IS IT TIRING TO GRIND 😭😭😭

I almost had a grind burn out but I survived

Halloween Part 2: Scary Monsters Endless Halloween

9.2/10

I absolutely loved playing this event cuz we get to see different character dynamics and all that stuff (I loved Leona's babysitting services and Jamil's done with everyone's bs group)

AND THE WAY ENG HANDLED THIS EVENT THOUGH???

LIKE SEEING IT TRANSLATED IN ENG JUST MADE ME GO

LIKE THE VIGNETTES REALLY GOT ME ACTING UP YKNOW????

AND THE CARDS ARE SO BEAUTIFUL I LITERALLY CRIED WHEN I GOT SILVER

Almost had a grind burn out part 2

More events will be done in another post so stay tuned !!

[cloudy-rainn]

greetings and salutations~

hope you’ve been well! id like to request a matchup for bsd, jjk, and tokyorev pleasee

im a 20 year old, 5’3 or 5’4 (one of those two..) pinay. i have short black hair with some bits of dark brown at the ends from when i bleached it before and an undercut at the back. i have big black almond eyes with round glasses and am kinda light to med skinned. im relatively lightweight but still have some tone cuz sis lost sum muscle 😭

personality and etc:

MBTI: INTJ

heterosexual/genderfluid (she/her is my go-to default)/asexual

(im not a firm believer in zodiac since i get along with everyone anyway but-)

western zodiac sign: sagittarius

moon: sagittarius :>

rising: libra

eastern zodiac sign: dragon

enneagram: 8w9

(im sure this explains most of my personality but ill jus put into detail here if ya wanna know)

my core personality:

more on the chill and vibey side. i express more ambivert energy. ive been described as patient, kind, realistic, understanding, quiet, straightforward, open, honest, tsundere¿, creative… and wacky?? lmaO i got sum crackhead energy too so gotta love that. i love to take care of those i cherish deeply, im BIG strict on mental health, im kinda quiet and reserved first impression, zero tolerance for toxicity, nocturnal (night owl over here ;-;), hard worker, a bit more tomboyish but womanly if ya know ya know 💅🏼i still embrace my childish antics :3 so i tend to wander and get distracted sometimes and stare off into space o-o, rather sweet and gentle with things i find precious and am naturally kind/affectionate to those i endear, im sometimes clumsy and hurt myself. i was one of those kids that sees a lizard and yells “LIZARD” running after it. im also giddy and stupidly silly :3 like i would laugh at something i found funny even after it has passed LOL. im a teaser :> i love to be playful with people. it’s basically a hobby at this point. like i tend to laugh at my own jokes lmaO im always in for a good time

however, when it gets serious, i can be aggressive. i can b a hypocrite sometimes.. i dont always take care of myself when im super focused, tend to heavily isolate when in the deep end but quite forgiving and understanding nevertheless. im quite comfortable with my dark side and can handle myself well but i require a lot of patience and determination. im quite empathetic with people as i pick up energies in a room. i will scold you if you’re not taking care of yourself and will tell you straight up what i think. if it’s serious time, im respectful and polite. but also im naturally curious and can be keen to seeing things that people dont usually pick up on

Love Language:

physical touch and quality time. so - yes ( ͡≖ ‿ ͡≖) - im a big time cuddle bear for sfw and a bit more dom in the not 🤭. but i get flustered with small affectionate gestures or doting behavior. i jus get so MMMM O////O. im not inclined to superficiality because bonding is what matters most to me

Etc:

my favorite color is pumpkin orange

Likes:

acai bowls, jelly beans :3, animals, criminology/forensics, video games, collecting things, formal events (tho i favor more of a humble living than luxury), baking and artsy stuff (sewing, crocheting, drawing, occasional designing, etc), performing arts stuff (dance, music), fashion: streetwear/comfy style and sometimes more bold wear 👀

Dislikes:

disrespect, overly sensitive controlling and exclusive people, aggressive confrontation, unreliable people, avocado, sausage, out of tune singers, unsatisfying things, unreasonably-hard-to-open products 🤨

sorry for the essay hope it wasnt too much!

hsjdjdkhaha, it’s okay, the more the better :)

also hello fellow intj 😩✊

i match you with RAMPO EDOGAWA!

- the agency is tired of the both of you (even though you don’t work there). y’all basically are like twins.

- you are the one that approaches him first. you were just being a normal civilian until you heard rather suspicious noises. you follow the sound and you see rampo. vending machine. his hand was stuck inside the vending machine and he didn’t know what to do. fortunately for him, you quickly helped him while also secretly telling him how to scam the machine.

-and that’s when he knew you were the one. after that encounter he would definitely give you his number and would frequently text you, asking you the most random and weirdest questions.

- he’ll ask you to join during his investigations. very chaotic i say. you two would definitely fool around for a while but will always get the job done.

- you would ask him out first. he’s definitely the type to playfully flirt but when it comes to confessing how he feels, it’s not an easy task for him.

- he would take you to a serene & quiet place for a date. he feels more comfortable and open when it’s only the two of you. he’ll definitely ask a lot of questions because he wants to get to know you better.

- you’re the only person he shares his snacks with.

- a lot of playful fighting. sometimes when he’s being sneaky he’ll steal a kiss or two, to throw you off guard.

- maNS loves giving back hugs. also he constantly kisses the back of your hands and forehead.

i match you with GOJO SATORU!

- yes y’all are the entp x intj troupe. 🤡

- also please get this man a leash. he is wild.

- you two knew each other from high school days. you used to hang out with him and getou. then everything took a terrible turn and you just lost contact with him.

- then, one day out of the blue as you were walking home with your weekly supply of jellybeans a tall figure stands in front of you. " do you believe in love at first sight or should i walk by again?"

- it definitely took you a couple of seconds to register that annoying voice. you looked him straight in the eye and walked away. of course mr. man whore here followed you, pestering you with millions of questions. you getting annoyed decided to have a catch up with each other at the cafe.

- you noticed how he hasn't changed one bit, still the same annoying brat from before. you missed this.

- you two start to hang out more often. he usually drops by your place, bringing sweets and pastries (when he is supposed to be helping the first years) for the both of you.

- when he asked you out the first time, you turned him down. you weren't exactly sure about your feelings but after some time you did come around and BOOM- y'all were one weird ass couple.

- the most random date night. sometimes this man will BRING you to help him during an investigation and call it a date <3

- megumi can't comprehend what you find appealing about him.

- okay okay, enough gojo slander now but i now he DEFINITELY spoils you. you want it, he buys it.

- mans gets jealous if you spend more time with the first years than him.

[blackasmyhangryfurrybrokensoul]

What do I feel frustrated with myself about?

That I get nervous when I'm around her

I do better caffeinated, or when I'm so tired I can't be nervous.

I could also do some calming exercises or mentally psych myself up for seeing her, if I know it's for sure.

That the above slows down my already slow processing

That she'll start conversations but I won't reply with anything because I'm still processing and thinking of a reply

I could try jumping backward in the conversation or coming back to points she mentioned. She does the same so.

Feeling like I generally suck at conversations

Idt this is going away any time soon. You have gotten better at conversations, but most people aren't that amazing.

Feeling too overwhelmed to implement my observations of how to hold conversations

I kinda think I'm also overwhelmed in general. Maybe plan and know my route ahead of time, leave much earlier so I can arrive early and avoid stress, maybe say I'll be later than I actually expect I'll be

That I feel unfun to be around

Maybe hang with your family more. You feel fun around them. They might not change how you go about things but you may at least feel better about yourself.

That I feel socially incapable because of the above

That I get so nervous and stressed over planning or trying to initiate anything

Give myself time to psych myself up, decide on what I wanna do, and then actually ask for it. Don't be in a hurry but also try to have a clear idea of what and when before you ask, but allow for some flexibility.

That I feel like whatever I suggest will suck

You can't know till you try.

That I'm comparing myself to the people and events she's used to

That I feel like I'm not good enough because of that comparison

Being scared of being rejected when I do suggest something

Being scared of my suggestions just plainly not being noticed/remembered

Planning/initiating stuff and deciding when to spend time doesn't come naturally to me -- how do people be like "yeah it's been long enough that we should do something?" --- I already feel that way WHILE IM HANGING OUT WITH HER

feeling so busy and overwhelmed that even though I wanna initiate stuff, I feel like I don't have the mental energy to do so in case I get rejected/it becomes a difficult plan.

That it takes me time to get used to and comfortable with a person's presence enough to be chill around them

That we're only around each other for short periods of time so I don't get the chance to get used to her presence

That we aren't as physically affectionate as I'd like us to be

That she doesn't initiate physical affection too much

That I have to worry about what she is/isn't okay with

That I have a hard time telling.

That it sounds like she doesn't mind if I just - do things - like physical affection

But that it sucks if I'm wrong about that and just seem like I don't give a shit about consent

Not knowing what environments she'd be comfortable with what kind of physical affection

The one time she told me her friends are quite touchy

The fear that she's more physical with her friends than with me

The fear of initiating physical contact only to be rejected physically

The fear that she's more physically comfortable with others than with me

The fear that people will flirt with her and she will flirt back when I'm not around - even like "straight joke flirting" bothers and confuses me so much so the idea scares me so bad and I feel stupid for it

Jealousy

Feeling jealous of the stuff she does with her friends or sisters cuz they're often stuff I wanna do with her but I just feel like I'm copying if I try to

Not knowing where to find all these cool places and activities

again feeling lame because I can't plan anything half as nice as what she's used to.

Wanting her to try new things with me but I feel like she already has done everything

Wanting to have the closeness to call her with short notice

Wanting to have the conversational skills to carry a call and not make it awkward

Wanting her to see a thing and think - I want my first/only time doing this to be with moony (me) rather than with her family or friends

Wanting to try new things with here but being scared she won't enjoy them

Feeling overly emotional and being unable to handle my own emotions very well

Not knowing if she wants any physical contact with me or not

Getting mixed signals about the above bc she doesn't like long hugs and i feel like that's my favorite form of physical intimacy and feeling sad i can't have that with her

I feel like physical intimacy is a gradual thing and if i can't pass the long hug/snuggle/long hand holding milestone, how will we get anywhere?

Feeling physically self-conscious about myself like what if I'm just not attractive? I don't know what she sees and I don't feel pretty

Feeling like a failure of a human for not being able to figure any of the above out

Feeling stupid if I propose something to do together and it doesn't happen.

[self-h-rmageddon]

just saw a button that says "im not myself today. maybe im you" SHUT UP....... dont remind me!!! theres a specific shame in it that no one seems to grasp, which makes sense, when do i ever explain it?

it feels so. shameful, even though i know i cant help it, even if its just my natural tendency, its like. i want to RISE ABOVE my disorder, but.. i cant. its a personality disorder, it defines my personality. having back to back personality/dissociative disorders is so fucked up man i do not know who i am!!!! my only worth of myself comes from what other people tell me. am i sweet? am i kind? am i funny? at surface level i believe it, thats how i seem to others so it must be true... but beneath that i detest it, i feel rotten to my core. it feels disingenuous since its coming from others instead of within, so i feel like im hiding something. like theres some part of me thats so indescribably ugly and vile, and i cant let anyone i love see it. even when theyve already seen it, i hide it further, i pretend like its not real. i forget long conversations full of understanding and love, i embrace the fact that i need to hide this thing, this monster. there is no monster!! its just me, and that makes it worse.

isnt it horrifiying, though? i take the voices of others, take their mannerisms, sometimes i even take their skin, i shape myself in someone elses image. realistically i know why, mimicry keeps you safe from rejection, people are less likely to throw you away if you act like them. you are more likely to be accepted into a group if you mask and mirror. you pick up on their vocabulary, their personalities, and you display it back to them. but theres more to it than that, i spend too much time abusing myself over things i cant control, in the hopes that itll fix me. its not like i do it just to endear myself, i do it because i like it. is that worse, then? i like when i copy, i like the way people are!! i wanna be like the people i like, is that bad? i cant tell, i see it from both sides. it makes me feel dirty. i really dont know who i am

am i still the angry boy i was in middle school? that was me right? maybe it wasnt me, maybe im new.. if im new then who am i? am i the me i draw? the me i project out to others? who would that even be?? it seems no matter what, i remain dissatisfied with how everyone sees me, like theyre not seeing ME... but how can i know what that should be if i dont know myself? its like its locked somewhere within myself, but ill never be able to open it up, never be able to wear the skin i was meant to wear. i think it has nothing to do with the usual suspects, nothing to do with gender dysphoria, social anxiety, no. my mind is made of barriers and walls, im hiding from myself. i want to see it, dont i deserve it? its me after all.

to other people i must be someone right? so why does it feel so wrong? its not me, its wrong! surely its wrong? idk man. it makes me tired, i remember a couple years ago i managed to completely convince myself that i existed in a box and the box wasnt real, the whole time i was completely dissociated from my body, imagining one of my self inserts instead, crying and panicking because i wanted to get out of the box it was. MESSY, but when i calmed down i realized i was so worked up cuz i didnt know myself

for years ive worn the clothes my family picked, i didnt even know i could change my hair, i thought it wasnt allowed. i didnt have any self expression whatsoever. i was a husk, a shell of a person. to the point where now when i buy a piece of clothing, or i do ANYTHING with my appearance, i feel this.. it feels like such a big deal to me, and no one else really cares cuz hello? yr supposed to do that i guess, but i was 18 years too late. i have no sense of self cuz ive never explored myself, i thought it was against the rules. i dont know why i thought that, but its fucked me up i guess. i feel lost, i feel aimless. and im sucked back into that familiar feeling, i feel empty

[signedmio]

okay i know i said i was going to sleep but my possibly pink eyed-eye is bugging me so much to the point where i just can’t so i’m gonna do this cause this has been rattling my brain and i’m very eager to know haha

although, yes, i match YOU guys up with hazbin characters, but i can’t help but wonder… who would YOU guys pair ME with? 👀

this is in an experiment and i’m dying to know so i hope to fucking god this post doesn’t flop haha

also take this as a meet the guy behind the blog kinda deal lol, a more in-depth ‘about me’ if you will

anywho, yeah i’ll describe myself and shit haha, you guys already know my name, i’m mio! i use she/he pronouns and to be honest i’m not too sure what my gender is, kinda flip flopping around with labels atm, but as of late i’m not too into labeling my gender haha, i’m closeted at the moment and usually flip flop my gender expression between very feminine and masculine appearances depending on who’s around, i’m bisexual, i have a preference in gender but have no fucking clue what it is yet haha

as for personality, most irl people ik would describe me as a total black cat, im lowkey a bit grouchy and tired and i have a tendency to bitch haha but my blog kinda takes that side of me and chucks it out the window haha

most describe me as mature for my age, some say i have a wide vocabulary but im not sure lol. im not a massive judge of character, especially my own, but i do know i am extremely empathetic. i wanna be a psychologist when im older so feelings are kinda-sorta my jam lol.

in relationships, i have a tendency to communicate a lot of how i feel, just cause i can’t stfu and i feel it’s the respectful thing to do. like i wish i could be one of those cool, hot mystery people but i cannot for the life of me stop talking so…

also!! as much as i’m a massive black cat around most, the moment i have a partner that kinda flips, i’m all over the place. i’m a massive golden retriever/sunshine kinda girl the moment i have a partner.

my love languages are words of affirmations and physical touch (receiving), as for me, actions are so hard to decipher i end up needing to just hear it — also i’m big on praise lol so i just need to hear that you’re not mad and i’m doing everything just fine haha

appearance though, i’m on the shorter side (4’9 or 4’10, unsure as of late haha), i have circular glasses with thin, black frames that are almost always surviving by mere glasses tape (they get broken a lot from sports lol), i have slightly tan skin, and black hair with brown/caramel highlights that goes to about my chest, and it usually gets tied up and pulled into a hood when i’m presenting masc haha, i have brown eyes, and i’m very flat XD not even slightly curvy lol

my style though is so basic 😭😭 when presenting fem, it’s like one of those popular middle school girls it’s not even funny, like the uggs with the nike socks over the leggings and a nike sweatshirt or some shit (i know im boring, shush) but when presenting masc i tend to be in a hoodie (with the hood up) with shorts that go to above the knee or just plaid pajama bottoms with like converse or air forces, but every once in awhile i’ve dress a bit alt like with ripped jeans and fishnets w/ doc martins and a band tee — but rarely haha cuz im too lazy

anywho, that’s me!! i’m very interested to see the pairings for this :)

[alternateanonymous]

11:23 pm 2/9/ 2024

Hi yall it's mags,

So tonite i was suppose to hang out with stefan and muhsin. But A. They are hanging out with Justin. And I don't really fuck with that because I don't feel like I can be myself around that guy cuz its just weird and I'm not close with im like that. Nothing against him, i just don't like our established dynamic because it makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious. So yea there's that. Then B. to add ontop of that stefan was like "ya ya well have strawberry time tonight" and im like ok yayyyy hes prioritizing me. But then hes like "can we hangout with muhsin and justin" and im like ...... :/ Oui. I said fuck it i don't want to respectfully. I feel not prioritized and it doesn't matter. Im respectfully sacrificing what i want because i don't wanna fight it and im letting it go easily. BUt to be honest lately I am putting the puzzle pieces togetehr for myself and the picture is becoming pretty clear.... Let's just say I have a good feeling about where I want to go and how I am being treated...... We'll see. I still need more processing time and that is ok, but all i am going to say is these small inconsistencies and neglectful tendancies are adding up. It doesn't matter if I let it happen or what not because that means im at the point where I don't give a fuck (which is not good in itself). Like i said. actions speak louder than words, and i need to surround myself with people who realize that I am a high value woman instead of making me feel like I'm not worth anything. Idk, it's true. I am pissed and annoyed because tonight was supposed to be a strawbeeryy night. But fuck it, no strawberry nights. Which sucks consdiering the fight we had the other day about me wanting to have private time with you. You'd think one would put in more of an effort to give you that time... instead they do the compete opposite because its more convient for them. Wel[ what can you do wultah... (I can do whatever I want and that decision is becoming quite clear unfortuantly) What your're doing is how you value me..... and I truly see how i am being taken for granted for. Thank you god for showing me the truth of what to do. Tonight I will try to find peace with this even though I am hurting and tired and just got hurt again. lol. I put nothing against the other person in a negative light, I only see that it is what it is and they are doing what they want to do. BUt remeber maggie, you have control of how you act. You are not stuck. Value yourself, don't base your value off of how they treat you. Base it off of how you perceive yourself (which is that i perceive myself as an awesome person)

11:31

[sharksa-shivers]

Max is sick/more texts between character stuff cuz why not?

Kristy: Max

Kristy: Max, cmon dude, need you to wake up! We kinda need you today!!

Max: Ive been up ffs been trying to sleep tho

Max: damn that sucks cuz i feel like shit

Kristy: Ughhhh, look, i get it, depression but like…You can't just keep sitting stuff out because of your depression???

Max: ??????? It's not depression tho???? Hshshshshs fuck

Max: Im fuckin sick lol im not coming sorry to disappointt

Kristy: Yeah, sure, ok. Nice prank buddy

Kristy: Now get up and get dressed, we need to go!!!

Max:(sends a pic of him holding up a wad of used tissues, Max looks out of it in the picture, he is obviously sick) sorry lol would you like a snot or cough sample to prove that im not fucking lying?

Kristy: …….Oh…….

Max: YEAH LMAO

Max: you try fuckin sleeping when you can't breath, having a tiny nose thats clogged doesn't help when im trying to inhale oxygen

Max: throat hurts, head hurty, nose blocked tf off, can i sttay home now mom??? please???? Im so tired and i feel like shit lol

Kristy: …..I guess you're kinda gonna have to, hmmm….Trying to think…

Max: how about fuck the mission, tkae a day off???

Kristy: No!!!

Max: lol you should

Max: i love demon fighting and shit and you nkow i do but like…life is nore then labor ok? Enjoy it

Kristy: ……That is so weird of a phrase to come from you of all people who's suicidal af

Max: IM NOT SUICIDAL EVERY FUCKING DAY GODDAMNIT SHSHSHSHSHSH IM ONLY SUICIDAL MOST DAYS OK?.??? THERE IS A DIFFERENCE

Max: in seriousness tho, eh. Today feels kinda good mental health wise, its just my physical health thats shit today lololol Kristy: Well…Guess it is what it is then…

Max: hey lol can you get me some food and some meds plz? Im cozy in bed dont wanna spread germs and shit but a bitch needa eat lol (also meds would be p nice i miss breathing…oxygen bb plz come back im sorry;~;)

Kristy: Yeah yeah lmao, i can. I'm gonna assume no food preferences today?

Max: No lol just plz, im so hungry, blehhhh (preferably something i can fucjing taste and that wont hurt my throat much tho lol)

Kristy: Okayyyyyy, i'll see what i can do.

Max: Best friendo ever lol you da best!!! 💗 ---------------- And now some rambling text info bout The Trio derps whenever sick cuz why not tho? --- Trio derp sickness levels (this sickness meaning like…ig nausea levels --- Kristy: So Kristy is least likely to like get sick like that. With her having magic and the amulet and whatnot, she gets very used to rapid, disorienting movements over time (though at the series start, i can see this being more of an issue but also with Kristy's determination, i can see her blowing that shit out of the water pretty quick, her determination being the stronger of the 2) Kristy can still very much get sick tho, if she's in a very disorienting situation for a long time period, she's gonna get fucking sick… 🍃🍃🍃

Sharky: So with Sharky, he can get sick and he does from time to time. It's either him getting motion sick, him getting actual sick (from like food poisoning and bugs and whatnot) or it's the third option and that tying into him being a shark (but i'll hop back to this in a sec)

Sharky is kind of harder to get motion sick because he does have the advantage of being born in the ocean so…He's used to that sort of thing, like a ride or whatever isn't going to give him motion sickness, he gets it more from like…Being thrown around rapidly with 0 control or from magic use or things like that…

So for the other thing…So…him being a shark yeah? So a reminder; Sharky can throw up his entire stomach, like wholeass organ…This is because he's a shark and it's something Sharky REALLY REALLY FUCKING HATES part cuz it's so weird, part cuz it's disgusting and part because it fucking hurts since he's very not used to doing that…Sharky can vomit up either his entire stomach or he just throws up normally…Sharky doesn't really have much control over this but if it's a higher stress situation, it's gonna be the entire organ coming up. (this whole bit happens more if Sharky's scared or very fucking stressed or in a big emergency sort of thing…Otherwise, Sharky's probably gonna just throw up normally…) Sharky learns he has this ability during the series and i kinda megadoubt he ever utilizes it like Slash does BUT Sharky does learn how to control this a bit better and when he feels it happening, he tends to insta-calm down to try and prevent the whole thing from coming out… 🦈🦈🦈 Max: Max defs gets motion sickness probably the worst…This is probably another reason why Max isn't the biggest on dizzying shit or boats or things like that because it probably fucks him up alottttttttt… Unlike Kristy he has no magic And unlike Sharky, Max does not have any sort of help from the ocean soooooooooo…Yeah, rip dogeboi [i kinda feel like Sharky throws up more then Max does tbh but i think it's cuz Sharky's put in more situations where that can happen vs Max…] 🐶🐶🐶 Now for sickness sickness, i feel like Sharky probs gets sick in that way the least cuz of his height honestly (it's harder for germs and shit to bother him if they can't reach his face…If somebody coughs near him, it ain't gonna be near his face so…) I feel like Kristy's second And i feel like Max probs has it worst here again tbh (i defs feel like Max has really fucking awful allergies tbh…Idk why but it's a vibe i get, probably if i had to guess, something with his fur picking up things that make him sneeze and cough and whatnot, rip dogeboi again)

[scrmngtts]

okk next post but,.. yeah so he called..

he sounds stressed as well so i guess he knew what happened or what he did.. i cant remember what led him to asking me to go to the gym but since everything is so messed up on my end.. i told him i dont know if i ever wanted to go to the gym again, then it was all like him convincing me to basically just not quit. and i told him the onlyreason i go to the gym is because of him.. so what if i no longer want to impress him.. whats the point of going to the gym anymore..

i also asked him, "why am i here.. " cuz to be fucking fair. i dont really know my place or my reason.. you know you met people for a reason right, like i want to know why hes keeping me around cuz he seems to be having everything he needs.. he has a girl bestfriend who he treats like his girl which is so weird and awkward when im around.. like what are we a polygamy? a threesome? so fucking weird.. im getting really teary eyed right now writing these.. i guess i was just pushing this thought away pretending im fine for the past few days when clearly, im not..

so yeha whatever.. he said:

"i like you, i like ur positivity u give, i like seeing u in the morning, i like blah blah.. he said i like u, and ure important thats all ure gonna get"

then when he was sensing im really gonna quit, he said he want things to work out but its not gonna work out if i quit..

even writing this my thoughts are running 10miles per hour.. i cant put them into words. i dont k now what to say.. do i wanna say the write things or do i wanna say what im actually feeling..

but why is it conditional though, why do i have to prove myself that i am consistent with my words to prove him im worthy or to prove him that im enough or to be prove him that things van work out?? why? what is he doing to meet my demands too? i am trying to meet his demands but how about me? meet my demands too.. now im regretting our conversation.. cuz.. i feel like i didnt voice myself out more in a fear of loosing him.. ugh.. i guess ill end it here now cuz im tired and i wanna lay down..

today was nice though....... but im not ready yet.

[tears-of-boredom]

its honestly kinda a bummer that i have school tomorrow because i am very excited to get into that zone where you just have so much energy to pack shit and you can finally throw away shit you dont need because it'll just be an inconvinirnce otherwise. yeah so, from the way my mom talked about it, i just kinda assumed that we were gonna move in the end, so I saiföd something about it starting with "so since we're seemingly going to move-" and mom was so confused why i thought that we were "seemingly going to move". and it was so awkward because? hello?? you were the one who even brought it up, you were the one who said that it would be better for us to move, and the only other two people living in this house genuinely want to move. but yeah awkwardness aside, we are moving. not sure when, cuz of all the bill and adult schematic stuff. probably soon, cause the months changing like uhh in three days, and ya know all the contract stuff starts at the beginning of the month, so its always more convenient to plan a move on the end of the month...ill see if i can rile myself up tomorrow after school to atleast start on sorting some stuff....also in finnish, a department store is literally called a "stuff house" and stuff as in like "my stuff was stolen"...yeahg...and also theres like this person i meet with occasionally in like a "I'm their client" way, and the meetings kind of tire me out...I don't like the person that much, they remind me of my mom..I cant bring myself to tell anyone that though...and they'd just replace them with another person, and idk I dont like having these kinds of meetings with adults and shit...cause i always end up doing some activity that I dont want to do, because i cant bring myself to say "no" harsh enough. and then I feel bad because i just wasted so much of my time doing shit that is supposed to be for the betterment of me and my mental health....but I just dont trust myself to decline help anymore, because i feel like i cant tell when someone's "help" is actually benefitting me or not...I hate this...this is why I wanna get into the packing zone and just turn my brain off for a day...I also havent eaten so i feel even more shitty,......I was gonna say im too lazy to go eat but you know what im gonna go get some bread rn. brb.

the bread was not there. i fucking hate this household.