#only raw emotion

[im-getting-help]

OMG Oliver, why did you lie? why did you tell me that your parents were addicts and dealers? that you didn't have siblings? why would you say that your father died? you came to my door crying and telling me a story about how your dad died in an awful way. Why?

Oliver, being completely honest:

[tshortik]

I love you messy artstyle i love you visible brush strokes I love you textures and rough edges I love you imperfections I love you roughness and colour blobs I love you scratchy sketches and bold stylisation and dirt and imperfections I love you ugly and raw emotion!!!!! ❤️

[crunchybeards]

I'm sure this has been beat to death by now, but my favourite aspect of Sam as a character is the fact that he truly does encapsulate one of the most pervasive themes in the game, the theme of being humane. Sorry for the really long ramble but I just wanted to get this off my chest and just genuinely commend the game for what it does with its protagonist. Be warned for spoilers for the whole game and some endings.

From the begining, Sam is shown to be an empathetic character, despite being a pseudo-silent protagonist. As different as every route can be, Sam always feels some form of very human remorse. He feels remorse over killing cursed individuals when he reflects in the mirror. He feels remorse for fucking up the ritual and damning the astronomers. He feels guilty over taking the resources of people who have become cursed, even though he knows that they won't be using them anymore. At least once per playthrough, he experiences some form of remorse towards another party.

As far as a reach as it is for me to say this, I personally saw the dialogue options that players can pick as Sam's own thoughts and the specific thoughts that you choose to pick are the thoughts that become fully realised and are added to his overall character for that playthrough. There are often a lot of dialogue options that are negative or reactionary. Yet every single time, there's at least one positive one, one where he feels empathy, one where he believes there is hope for an individual despite how bleak the situation may seem. Or at the very least he chooses to be civil and non-discriminatory towards a cursed person.

As grotesque as the game is and as twisted as the Cursed become, they're still human, they're still people even if not physically apparent. And 9 times out of 10, they still behave like people. My favourite aspect about the game is that there are some characters that seem like they're too far gone, that they only wish to hurt people and yet if kindness is extended towards them, they can still be saved. We see this with the hidden-away garage. The fish and chips shop. The Cursed are still willing to trade and salvage the situation as best as they can. They're making the most out of a shitty situation despite struggling interally with their sanity and adjusting to newly formed bodies.

Choosing to be humane at the end of the world is one of the best things about Sam's character. Nobody would hold it against him if he were to kill cursed individuals indiscriminately. There are several characters that he can befriend who have done the same like Hellen. But being given the option to negotiate, the option to talk and to extend an olive branch, he takes it. He talks to cursed individuals who are lucid, he even befriends a few like Joel. Even in the ending where he becomes a swarming mass of arms and feels overwhelmed by his new ever expanding form, even though he is so scared, he took a moment to calm himself down, pick himself up and get to work helping people. Even as a borderline Lovecraftian being, he actively chose to be the driving force for good. Even though the prior examples I listed are choices that can be made by the player, this ending proves that Sam is a genuinely good and humane person. In the 104 Gods ending, the gods still destroyed parts of humanity and even divided it further. In the Screaming Sky ending where the astronomers ascend into a unified god like entity as the Exhaulted Four, they were actively destroying the planet and killed random people in an unpredictable bloody purge. Every other instance of people being presented with this awesome change, they were destructive, unintentionally so due to insanity, but ultimately destructive. The sole exception to these realities is Sam. When he's aware of what he's become, he helps, he becomes the Saviour of Humanity. He could've been like any of the 104 Gods, start his own cult/ community, be the supreme ruler of Earth because like with the gods, who could stop him. But he didn't, and that's what truly does differentiate him. The Gods could've been lucid and with how they actively do rule over the earth in their respective zones, it appears as though they are. And yet we have Sam, a god in his own right, but is a good person (well except for the Perfect Ritual ending where he overwhelms the earth Xin Amon style but I attribute that to losing himself completely as opposed to his character's intention).

As corny as it may sound, Sam truly does choose to be kind as opposed to choosing the 'right' option of caving into fear and attacking enemies/ isolating himself. To Sam, being a kind person is not dependent on appearance, it isn't dependent on what you can personally get out of helping another person but it's about being a helper of your fellow man, regardless of everything that is happening. No matter the route, no matter the player's input, that humanity is always there and I admire that about him.

Tldr:

[webbedmirror]

What if instead of corrupted ectoplasm, the lazarus pits were simply raw ectoplasm? Just thinking about the fact that one of Danny's chores is to change the ectofilter for the ghost portal which could possibly mean that the Fentons don't use raw ectoplasm for their machinery (also explains why they need to refuel some equipment). It could mean that raw ectoplasm is more volatile compared to purifed ectoplasm so purifed ectoplasm can animate hot dogs but not an entire person, raw ectoplasm would explode machinery whilst careful use of purifed ectoplasm can be used to fuel machinery etc etc

[lienspien]

Barty is provocative as fuck and James is easy to rile up. Usually, it just leads to James storming off with Barty laughing. One time, James was having his own problems, and Barty came by and started a fight. James said the most offensive personal thing ever that got Barty so mad, he got personal too. Then they both are just yelling at each other, and everyone is kind of scared to pull them apart. Eventually James just tells him to fuck off and Barty does, for the first time, storm off.

They were seen making out later that night

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

one thing that the (four oldest) gallagher’s have in common is that they’re all ugly criers. love that

[zombvibes]

new favorite berdly deltarune image

[spectralish]

multi 21 karaoke goes crazyyy

[vaniliens]

Long ass opinions / critiques on milgram under the cut before t3 actually hits

Im not even that mad / hateful of mlgrm at all tbh & I think & hope you can tell that from the fact that my main gripe with it isnt really "This project was awful from start to finish it never should've happened" but rather "There were better (& Arguably easier) ways to tell this story & get the point across"

i understand 100% why they thought, on paper, why this would've been a cool project to work on and It Is!! They did their best, i really love how it takes inspiration from the vocaloid community from the abstract symbolism filled MV's, the deco covers, how theres an interconnected story, and the potential of community guesswork & discussion of what this song and/or MV means. I might be a bit biased bc i got into it after being dissapointed in how lacking the virtual singers / vocaloid [community] feels in project sekai besides the commissioned songs but overall i think its really cute, even if its technically just what art as a whole is about 😭 You know, making you engage & think about The Implications. Getting the inspo from the voca synth community allows the project to stand out bc of how its presented. Its unique, its fresh, it keeps you on your toes.

I love how it (tries) to tackle well known & relevant issues in japan (& tbh the rest of the world), like ableism, misogyny, child abuse, call-out culture, homophobia, the entire prison system, etc. and how the victims and perpetrators react to it. Its very interesting. Its very clearly trying to humanize & sympathize even the "worst of the worst", and i appreciate how its one of the main themes in the story even if some of the audience didnt quite catch it. Its showing how simply punishing people who did wrong isnt the answer. Like theres SOOOO much nuance to unpack both in universe with the crimes & prisoners and in a meta sense through the way the story is presented, the way the audience reacts, the discussions, thoughts, developments, etc. Its so cool. They've clearly put a lot of effort into it.

At its core the Milgram Project has always been less about solving the crimes and more about asking the audience "Why do YOU think X happened?" Its basically a bunch of character studies!! You're peering through their hearts, examining their own version of the truth of their crimes, and drawing your own conclusions based on that raw, intrusive data that the system has given you. Aagh.

Unfortunately in my own humble opinion all these elements combined is exactly why it doesn't work as well as it could've And arguably should've for a project all about seeing the good or at least understanding eachother.

It asks "Why did X did it?" but it doesnt give us a platform to actually state Why they did it in any way, only to answer & play into the prisons b&w thinking, and you cant in any way reverse any of their verdicts once its been casted. And thematically it works. I mean its about a warden in a prison full of people who have taken lives, its doing its job to mirror the reality of real life Innocent (No punishment or otherwise legal consenquence) vs Guilty (Punish) verdicts, legally or non officially, as it should. But idk it doesnt really Help us understand why a character comitted their sin. It only introduces downwards spirals, which only makes the characters less willing to provide their actual motive(s) as time goes on. I get that the main thing its criticizing is the legal & prison system but its getting in the way of sympathizing with "Bad" people. Which again IS the point, thats EXACTLY what the prison system does and why its so harmful, it dehumanizes people to hell and boils down their entire personhood to "Guilty" but like???? It doesnt really provide an Out, or anything more Productive to think about. WHICH IS THE POINT & I KNOW THAT BUT IT KINDA FEELS LIKE IN THE END THERES REALLY NOTHING YOU CAN DO WHICH IS PRETTY NIHILISTIC???

Its like "Theres no point in examining why these people are the way they are bc everyones gonna suffer no matter which button you press in the end!! No you cant gain deeper optional insight either bc we're permanently rolling with THIS now." and what doesnt help are the extra contents like the voice dramas & interrogation questions where the characters themselves add more fuel to the fire by threatening eachothers or the wardens lives??? and it leads to people discussing 'Which Verdicts to Vote [to minimize the in universe damage so these fictional definitely-not-representatives-of-real-life-issues-&-its-consequences characters can be safe]' instead of 'Actual Insightful Character Analysis [to help eachother find our own conclusions no matter what it is & to improve ourselves as a person through examining fictional scenarios]' and it leads to COMPLETELY unproductive discussions and flame wars and its so upsetting to see.

Its fucking tearing itself (& the fandom) apart by making ITSELF perpetuate the black & white "Theres a CORRECT answer to this EXTREMELY morally gray & heavily nuanced situation!!!" thinking for the sake of criticizing (More like making a parody of) the prison system. Like wow who would've thought that the system designed so that literally everyone in it is turned into mere "GOOD" VS "BAD" caricatures of themselves would be a good sytem to EXAMINE PEOPLES COMPLICATED LIVES with. Does that make sense. Like isnt it ironic how what we call "Meta voting" is, in the end, more about these fictional characters lives than it is about us, as the actual living breathing audience who are capable of accepting things outside the dichotomy and are able to self reflect before its too late? us, the humans whos lives are more fragile and thus require more care from eachother than mere 2d drawings? Isnt that so ironic

AND I WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR I GENUINELY, WITH ALL (or none in this case) OF MY HEART, DON'T AND CAN'T EVEN BLAME ANYONE WHO META VOTES. BECAUSE THE PRISON. THE PROJECT ITSELF. ENCOURAGES IT. AND IN THIS TRIAL AND EVEN THE PREVIOUS ONE WITH KOTOKO'S BEATINGS, PROVES THAT IT HOLDS WATER. MORE THAN ANY CHARACTER ANALYSIS. MORE THAN GENUINELY UNDERSTANDING WHERE THESE CHARACTERS ARE COMING FROM.

And the beautiful thing about it is that theres ALSO a discussion to be made about this, intentional or not, about how our actions weigh more than our thoughts / feelings which is ofc correct. This also ties in it with its theme, of taking people's lives and under what conditions is it considered something "Neutral" (even "Positive / Good") vs "Punishable" and ofc also the punishing & restraining that comes with getting a guilty verdict part, an action that leads to someone else's forced in-action.

Still though, in what way does this really help support the Actual Main Theme, which is understanding eachother / the prisoners, people who youve seen arguably the worst of? Its grappling between wanting to make the audience GENUINELY THINK and self reflect vs a show about people going through hell and you CAN be both but again!! with way milgram is run, because of the active audience participation it needs & encourages & the way it boxes the audience into these 2 choices, it was always going to snowball & sway more to the latter. Its becoming less of a thinkpiece & more just a shocking spectacle where everything is in "Superhell"

"Oh anyone can die in this prison if the audience messes up badly enough" do you think thats a good way to send your message. Just kill off a character whos arc wasnt even finished yet. When their deaths only serve to make things worse and thus more shocking and "High Stakes"? When their deaths are only punishing the audience who wanted to understand everyone in the prison by

1. forever 'Locking' said dead character(s) out of any new developments

2. Possibly make things more muddy & unclear in the trial, as the rest of the characters would be affected by the death(s) and would most likely close themselves off even more to cope with the trauma?

And. Like. Again I cant even get that mad bc can you blame the writers when theyre all forced to write shit on the fly based on OUR unpredictable reactions??? Ex. Did they expect Amane to get a guilty in the 1st trial despite the sympathetic MV which features a child repeatedly being abused?? They also have to choose and try to balance between making the horror of the situation clear while also providing a way for these present horrors to bring out the characters past crime. Its so complicated.

I really really hate how this happened. Please. If milgram had no audience participation and if it was instead just a linear story or 2 this wouldn't have happened.... everything would've been in the writer's control and thus we would've been guaranteed a more fulfilling story even if it lacks the explicit audience complicity to the violence & abuse. See: come on man, THE OFFICIAL PREQUEL NOVELS.

Alternatively, seeing as the trial 3 curtain call is LITERALLY called 'Route: Your [Curtain] Call,' implying that there were other routes we could've went on, it could've been a video game or better yet a visual novel. Then we'd be able to fully explore the characters as much as we want, even if, by resetting the game multiple times to get the routes to FULLY understand these charaters, it lessens the emotional impacts the deaths will have.

I dunno man i just wish it didnt get this complicated I just wish it was presented better....

"So what do you think happened? Was this justified or not?" I dont know man we're busy making sure people dont die so we dont miss out on any new info even though the act of 'making sure people dont die' is making us Waste the opportunities we have to get said new info. WE'RE in storytelling superhell.

[feysandfeels]

The casting for Christopher Nolan's adaptation of The Odyssey is ABYSMAL. ABYSMAL. Like I have never seen such ChatGPT casting in all my days. Is Tom Holland going to be Telemachus? Zendaya as Circe? Lupita as Calypso and Charlice Theron as Athena? Anne as Penelope to Matt Damon's Odysseus???

I thought it was going to be the Odyssey as a metaphore as he uses in other work... but an Epic? Set in Ancient Times? Oh I don't trust it. I know he has an English Lit BA, from like Oxbridge ????? but those institutions are nothing but name and zero critical thinking skills and rigor. Like they barely look beyond their own borders and when they do is to study US literature... so mark me down as concern.

And Nolan that is well known to not be able to write or develop a female character if his life depended on it.... oh no. I need to know which translation he is basing this of.

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

the thing is (isay as if i was in the middle of a conversation) chips and ice cream makes it really very understandable if football was like, an entity in the mirror that only bmo was cognizant of. like if anyone is going to recognize that their reflection is an alive little girl and not just a reflection it is bmo

[anxresi]

So, it turns out Chloe IS going to return for S6... this hot off the press from her voice actor... (actually from back in Jan, but who's counting?)

...So why, my dears, couldn't I give a damn?

Probably because, as arguably the writers had no idea what to do with her in S4 and S5 other than strip her of all personality, agency & likability, what's the point in her still remaining?

*She's not going to be a hero again, Manbaby Astruc has made this PERFECTLY clear thankyouverymuch. IMHO, she's far more useful as a tool for him to take out his warped misogynist humiliations on, apparently. Why he doesn't just buy himself a blonde mannequin, call it 'Chloe' then beat it with a wooden stick whilst shouting various profanities within the privacy of his own bedroom, IDK. Maybe it's good therapy for him to expose his weird hang-ups in front of a mass audience? Hey, if it works for him... good for you, buddy! I just wish the rest of us didn't have to suffer to aid his treatment.

*As a villain, Chloe's threat level is arguably less than 0%. She is now written to be dumb as a post, no-one trusts or likes her and everything she says and does seems more cartoonishly infantile with every tortuous appearance since S3. The ONLY time she posed any vague threat is during her massively overhyped team-up with Lila where basically she was little more than a pawn to the Mary Sue Of All Lying B*tches... and those two episodes where she took over Paris as Mayor with a bunch of robots were undebately the most stupid ones of S5. Which if you've seen the competition, you KNOW that's some achievement.

*My prediction is: They're gonna rehash the same tiresome schik we saw before she got on that plane at the end of S5... perhaps they'll give us a one episode Hope Spot upon her unexpected arrival back where it looks like she's changed after attending a 'tough school' in New York/London but OH MY WORD WHAT A SURPRISE it turns out to all have been a ruse to become Queen Bee again. YAWN. She'll move straight back into her old room... Andre and Audrey will reconnect... and it'll be like nothing ever happened. In case you hadn't noticed, this show handles plot continuity or character development about as well as Marinette keeps her distance from her crushes.

*'But where does that leave Zoe?' You might ask, to which I can only respond with a succinct 'If you had the Hubble Space Telescope on full power, you still wouldn't be able to locate how little I care about that particular subject.' Maybe she'll carry on as Vesperia. Maybe she'll get a girlfriend. Maybe she'll do something halfway interesting, and give the viewership a heart attack out of sheer shock value alone. It doesn't matter to me one jot... less because I curse the ground this insipid plot device masquerading as a serious character walks on, but simply because I have no faith in the utterly abysmal writing this show has displayed for years and years now. Chloe could take over the lead role in a SHOCKING twist, they could change the name to Miraculous Queen and I STlLL wouldn't give it a second glance. The fish rots from the head-up, guys.

(Okay, so that's a bit of a lie. I would probably sneak a peek at ONE episode out of sheer curiosity, but you and I both know with HIM in charge the standard won't improve one iota. Plus, it isn't gonna happen anyway... so why am I tying myself in knots speculating about an impossible scenario?)

Anyway, I've nattered on for too long. I'll just leave you by answering Selah's somewhat disingenuous last question there about 'your favorite Chloe line of season 5'.

This implies we were watching 'Chloe'. As far as I was concerned, we weren't. Not the Chloe I fangirled for in the very beginning and got me involved in the show in the first place because I could relate so much. Not the Chloe who got so many other fans emotionally invested in her personal and familial struggles, before her character was comprehensively trashed by a ruinous creator with a grudge.

So in answer to your question Ms Victor, none. Because it simply wasn't Chloe.

[samazing0831]

Only One Year - Dean Winchester x Reader

Dean Winchester x Reader

When Dean makes a deal with a crossroads demon to bring Sam back, he's given one year to live. Haunted by his decision and the clock ticking down, he finally confesses his secret to the one person who might be able to save him from more than just Hell. What follows is a raw confrontation filled with grief, frustration, and something deeper neither of you can keep buried any longer.

1k words

The bottle of cheap whiskey sat heavy in Dean's hand, almost as heavy as the weight pressing against his chest. He stared down at it, unmoving, seated at the edge of his bed in the bunker, every muscle tense with the burden of what he had done.

One year. That was it. One year until his time ran out. Until the hellhounds came for him.

He hadn't told Sam. Hadn't told anyone.

But you - you deserved to know. Even if it changed nothing. Even if it only made things worse.

So when you walked through his open door, concern knitting your brows as you took in the sight of him - alone, quiet, and drinking in the dark - he looked up and cleared his throat.

"Hey," he rasped, voice rough from silence and too much whiskey. "We need to talk."

You gave a nervous chuckle, trying to lighten the mood like always. "Okay? Is this about your crippling cheap whiskey addiction? Because I can fix that with a quick trip to the liquor store."

Still, you crossed the room, sitting next to him, fingers fidgeting in your lap. He never invited you into his room unless it was bad.

Dean huffed, shaking his head. "Nah, sweetheart. This one's not that easy to fix."

He took another long sip from the bottle, like maybe the burn would numb what he had to say. It didn't.

"I made a deal," he said after a pause. "Crossroads. After that last hunt. After... Sam."

Your breath caught. No. He couldn't mean -

"I got him back," Dean said quietly. "But I only got a year left."

Your thoughts raced. "A year?" you repeated, stunned. "That doesn't make sense - normally they give you five. That's... something's wrong."

He didn't respond.

"Dean, you shouldn't have done that... I mean - I get it. I do. But you have no idea what you've done."

"I know exactly what I've done," he snapped. "I couldn't just let him go."

Your heart pounded as he took another sip. "Dean, being alive and living are two different things," you whispered. "Did you even think about anyone else? About the people who were still living? What about me? Sam? What's gonna happen to us when you're gone?"

He didn't say anything, and that silence was answer enough.

"You didn't tell Sam," you said flatly. "Dammit, Dean."

"What was I supposed to say?" he shot back. "'Hey, Sammy, I sold my soul to bring you back - by the way, I'll be dead in a year'? He wouldn't understand."

"You don't give him enough credit." You were trembling now. "And what about me, huh? Was I just supposed to find out a year from now when you get ripped apart by hellhounds?"

Dean flinched at that. "I didn't want to drag you into this," he muttered.

"So you'd rather I be blindsided?"

"I was trying to protect you."

"Bullshit!" you yelled. "We would've found another way. Why, Dean? Why did you do this?"

"Because there wasn't another way!" Dean stood abruptly, his voice shaking with something deeper - regret, anger, heartbreak. "Sam was dead, and I - I couldn't lose him."

"And what about me?" you shouted, your voice cracking. "Did you think about how I'd feel? Watching you throw your life away? Watching you pretend like nothing matters?"

He turned, jaw clenched. "It doesn't matter."

Your chest heaved. "You don't matter? You think no one cares?"

Dean hesitated. Then softer, more broken: "I pretend I can live with it."

You stared at him, tears brimming. "People love you, Dean," you whispered. "People want to see you live. I - I don't want to lose you."

He looked at you like you'd slapped him. Like he didn't expect to hear that from you.

But it was too late. Your heart was breaking, and if he was going to keep shutting you out, then you couldn't stay.

"I may as well walk out that door if that's your attitude," you said quietly. "I'm not staying here for a year just to watch you throw your life away."

Dean stepped forward. "You don't mean that."

You stared him down. "Try me."

He opened his mouth to argue - but then he broke. "I did it because I can't live in a world where Sam isn't breathing," he said, almost choking on the words. "Because I can't do this alone."

His voice dropped. "Because losing you would be worse."

"What?" you breathed.

Dean swallowed, eyes searching yours. "You heard me."

He didn't speak. So you gave him an ultimatum.

"I'm packing tonight. If you don't tell me by the time I'm done that you want me to stay - I'm gone."

You turned to leave.

But then his hand wrapped gently around your wrist. "Wait."

You stopped, barely able to breathe.

"I don't want to spend what time I've got left without you," Dean whispered.

You turned slowly, tears falling freely now. "Don't do this to me if you don't mean it. We've only got a year."

Dean stepped close, cupping your face like he thought you might vanish. "We've only got a year. So yeah - I mean it. Every damn word."

You trembled under his touch. "I don't know what the next year holds, but just because you made that deal doesn't mean you get to risk your life more than you already do."

He smirked weakly. "That's not how this works, sweetheart."

"It is now." You poked his chest, your voice stronger. "No throwing yourself at death like it's some kind of solution. Promise me you won't give up before it's over."

Dean was quiet for a long time. Then: "Yeah. Okay. I promise."

And even though you didn't know what the next day would bring - you believed him.

"So..." you sniffed, managing a small smile, "not to make this a chick flick, but is this when we kiss?"

Dean huffed a soft laugh. "You really know how to kill a moment."

"It's a talent."

He stepped in closer, brushing his thumb along your cheek. "Yeah... I guess it is."

And then he kissed you.

It wasn't perfect. It was a little desperate, a little messy, full of unsaid words and unraveling restraint - but it was real. And with only one year left, real was everything.

[toothworxx]

you ever wanna spread Propaganda(TM) of one of your favorite musical artists?

Then you think and think and think and go-

NAHHH MAYBE NEXT TIME

[katyspersonal]

Also for people that didn't know me for that much of a long time; I know I semi-consistently make it sound like I was practically "trapped" with some raging bigot and couldn't escape because Abusive Relationship Moment and never elaborate, but I was not. It is a long story but if anything, I knew exactly what I've gotten myself into, and why I did. I saw what he was like and what he was saying, and I chose to jump in. I don't deserve compassion, only pity for being short-sighted and picking a responsibility I was no match for, but there was a guy who triggered a lot of stuff, and we were both victims. Of each other, and of the world.

I often call him 'basically a Morgott' and this is what he was: a person jealously and fanatically guarding a ruined, corrupt system he himself was and is oppressed by. He didn't deserve to experience a single traumatising event that guaranteed that he ended up being like that. At some point certain people came to lynch him for the shit he didn't fucking do, and it was beginning of the end. And when I insisted on being loud and proud about our bond, certain people came to lynch me for the shit I didn't do. I guess despite everything, I've found a lot of romance and value in knowing that he sort of passed his "curse" onto me, although not intentionally. Just like him after he survived witch-hunt, I, too, went to lick my wounds and seethe in the company of very questionable people. I walked back when I saw the bunch that promised me safety was just as rotten, and I sure hope he walked back from his weird bunch too. I had a chance to learn about his life updates, but I didn't.

All this is to say, not he was ever an actual villain of this fucking mess. It were always the witch-hunter people. He would hate me for speaking like this, I guess. Because he is up against "woke NPCs" and meanwhile God will forsaken me for choosing "degeneracy" or whatever... 🙄 Still, I saw enough to know that any group who separates people on worthy or unworthy is inherently bad, regardless of their ideals and goals. None of this shit would've happen if witch-hunters stopped doing their darnest to kick anyone they deem "heretic" out of society in the beyond, where members of other cults can swipe them up and ideologically groom them. People should do their hardest to preserve members of their community regardless of inconveniences of suspicions, and my enemies will always be those who refuse to do it. People like him or me are just symptoms of what you can diagnose humanity with, and the only reason I was able to recover my compassion, faith and willingness to support was because I've found true friends and he struggled with that. I could've been a good friend to him too, but I've failed. I took too many things too personally when they were obviously expressions of insecurity, distrust and past trauma... I should not speak ill of those who act cruel to "bad victims" as much as I do when I didn't practice what I preach when it mattered, though I hope I will become better.

In any case, humans can't exist without humans. Nobody is safe from becoming a hateful bigot if it is only other hateful bigots who give them community after their previous one discarded them. I was ever so close to "everyone is an NPC except for us" mindset and only persisted because genuinely good and innocent people chose to keep pulling me out of bad place over and over and I was always given second chances. I don't hate someone who never got enough help and safety, and I sure don't hate someone for failing to meet their emotional needs. I hate witch-hunters tho, they are the problem. They, and their opposition that always picks up what they've thrown away.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Oh we are so BACK

When I tell you I saw this and died. HELLO?????

I keep hiding my face lahshjsdhjgfsaf HE HAS NO RIGHT. NO RIGHT AT ALL BEING THAT SEXILY INTENSE AAAAAAAAAAA

Anyway, I should probably try to make some attempt at describing the event since. If I don't I'll just be barking/crying/hiding my face for the next twelve hours.

Basically--and I'm not sure this is going to be across the board, but it held true for Napoleon and Sebastian at least--each suitor has a birthday event this year instead of a separate story. Comte's won't be released until tomorrow, but they have posted a preview.

From what I gather, he talks a little bit about himself and reveals parts of his past that haven't come to light in the game yet. There wasn't really enough to convey a coherent narrative beyond attending a party, but the line displayed here does get across the larger theme:

Comte: (I don't need momentary pleasure or ephemeral affection any longer. Now that I know love, there's nothing but you.)

He talks about how the aristocracy have thrown parties and extravagant celebrations for his birthday for most of his life. But none of it has ever really made him happy, largely because he knows that they are attempts to strengthen and broadcast power relations within high society. While I don't think he means it's entirely devoid of well wishes, I do think he sees it as a nexus of influence--and thus, by nature, impersonal. And honestly, I don't think he's wrong about that; the higher the echelon in social standing, the more it requires performance to maintain the position.

That being said, there is a fascinating flashback where he remembers a pureblood telling him about how falling in love with a human is an experience of another caliber entirely. My understanding is that Comte was still a fairly young vampire at the time, so he didn't really understand what the person was getting at. It seems like the other pureblood was trying to convey the difference in feeling, perhaps the fact that humans are more grounded in accordance with how they live--the reality and necessity of change.

After reading this--and the recent 5th bday story--I can absolutely see how change is something Comte has a complicated relationship with. He's known a certain way of life for so long, has constructed a sensibility of distant, rational maturity. After all the heartbreak of his youth, and two very acute traumatic events in his life, I can see why he'd be so afraid of broaching any kind of proximity with another person. Because on some level it's so much easier not to put your feelings on the line, to never have to fear devastating loss. And that's to say nothing of the worry of being unable to measure up on behalf of another person, of letting them down.

I'm so excited to see the rest of the contents, but something about the preview made me equal parts giddy and enamored (all I do is kick my feet with excitement LOL). I think what gets to me with Comte is that he truly does love companionship as a place to rest, a place where he can be honest about himself and his feelings without fear of ridicule (and the same goes for MC). In a world increasingly obsessed with surface level performances of power, status, and emotion, it's hard not to feel his exhaustion to the core.

Also, because these lines at the end more or less destroyed me in the best possible way:

MC: ...The you who had nowhere to belong no longer exists. In much the same way...Abel, I belong to you. Comte: ... Comte: I wish I could say to myself all those years ago, the me who kept indulging in such paltry things. Comte: Until you meet MC, you will never know love... The warmth of MC in my arms filled me with such joy I was near tears. (I don't need momentary pleasure or ephemeral affection any longer. Now that I know love, there's nothing but you.) The moment my lips found hers, the sweetness lit a fire deep in my body. Comte: These cute lips that melt against mine, the heat of your skin, the love that envelops me in your embrace--always leaves me so deeply in love with you.