#oooh i love pickup line

[girlboypersonthingy]

Hiii new anon here! Is it possible to request the Hazbin Hotel boys with a wheelchair user reader? (It’s alright if not! I love your writing so much! Keep it up! 💖)

Hellooooooo new anon 💋 thanks for the request! And THANK YOUUU ILYSM AAAHH 💖🥹 you guys have really been hyping me up. AND IM AT 40 REQUESTS RN LIKE ??? HELLO HI WHAT IS HAPPENING 😵‍💫 I hope I did okay on this…enjoy~

Notes: gn!reader, sorry this is short :(

TW: lap sitting, other than that just fluff :)

Hazbin boys x wheelchair user!reader 🎀

Lucifer 🍎

Often tries to push you around everywhere. He just wants to help but if that bothers you, he’ll happily give you space to wheel yourself around.

Will still do other things to help you out too like open doors for you, adjust tables so you can sit at them comfortably, goes to get you something you might have forgotten just so you don’t have to push yourself all the way back to it.

Sorry but he’s gonna very randomly and very frequently sit in your lap. He likes it, it’s comfy and it’s always right there fully open for him. He’ll just fall into your lap, wrap his arms around your neck and nuzzle his face up to yours.

Very helpful with other things you may need help with like reaching things that are too high up or assisting you when you need to get out of your chair for any reason.

WILL ABSOLUTELY PICK YOU UP AND CARRY YOU SO TIGHTLY AS HE FLIES YOU TO WHEREVER YOU NEED TO GO

“Luci, babe…this is kinda extravagant, don’t you think? I just needed to go talk to Husk, I can get myself there just fine.”

“Yeah, but I get to touch you this way~”

What a flirt, omffggg ❤️‍🔥

Angel Dust 🕸️

So many dirty jokes and horrible pickup lines.

“Oooh, best seat in the house~” as he sits on your lap before covering your face in giggly kisses

“Yeah, I think they fucked up their legs fallin’ for me.”

“Fuck you, Angel!” And now he’s cracking up laughing while also apologizing.

He’s actually kinda a worry wart so he’s gonna check up on you a lot. He knows you’re strong and brave and you’re used to this by now but he can’t help but worry about you all the time.

He knows you can handle yourself but he worries about others picking on you and taking advantage of your disability

His fav pastime is sitting in your lap while you wheel yourself as fast as you can down the long hallways of the hotel

Sitting in your lap while you do wheelies gets him squealing with laughter

He also offers to push you pretty much every day and if you say yes, he happily takes over while you sit back and relax. If you say no, he totally understands and follows along beside you still.

Very much understands any boundaries you have about you and your mobility. Hes a consent king okay?

Although he never asks before he grabs the handles of your chair and yanks you all the way back until you’re nearly parallel with the sky, then he smirks down at you before leaning in for a hot and passionate kiss. Not too long later, he sits you back up to your regular position and continues on his way, leaving you a blushing mess with your heart beating so hard you think you might die again.

And he never gets over the shocked face you wear every time he does that. He loves that shit 🩷

Husk 🃏

Okay this guy is so nonchalant about it like “okay cool…and?”

He sees that you are used to this, that you handle this with such grace and skill. You impress him everyday and he adores youuu~

Will often offer to help you up on the barstools if your chair is too low to reach the bar.

Holds doors for you, always runs to push the elevator button for you, just likes to go out of his way to be a gentleman for you.

Even if you insist you don’t need his help, he’ll argue, “Baby, you’re my partner. I think my love language is acts of service or some shit like that. I dunno, I tried to read the book and got tired. But I love ya so you’re just gonna have to get used to me and how I show love. Trust me, I’d do this stuff no matter what.”

He’s honestly just such a polite and considerate guy when it comes to you. He doesn’t never mean to be overbearing or treat you different, he just wants you to be comfortable so he always tries to push you around.

“Husky, I can push myself.” You sigh as he takes hold of the handles on your chair and brings you along to the bar with him.

“I know you can.” And he’s just smirking from behind you as you roll your eyes.

And his pace will slow for a sec as he leans over to kiss the top of your head.

He just really loves when he’s pushing you and he sees your head tilt back and your shoulders relax- you just seem calm

Sir Pentious 🐍

Homeboy is absolutely gonna try to invent and build cool shit for you. Mostly just cool add-ons to your chair like something to make it smoother or faster or more sturdy or even add a cup holder? Idk

If you ask him not to push you around, you will not have to tell him twice 🫡 he respects you and your boundaries

Buuttttt he is often seen resting one hand on the handle of your chair as he slithers along beside you throughout the hotel

He just wants to be touching you in some way and touching your chair is enough for him.

Loves to come bounding up to you with exciting new projects he’s working on and will wrap his entire self around you as he shows you his work

“Pen? Can you push me back to my room? I’m just so tired…” you ask him after a long day of helping out around the hotel therefore a long day of pushing yourself around.

He’s actually so excited and full of love rn, like he’s beaming with joy as he nods and rushes to you.

“Yesssssss, my darling! Anything for you~”

And he’s so fucking careful with you- we all know Sir Pentious is a clutz and a goofball but he is so extra cautious when pushing you around.

Makes sure not to bump your feet or knees or any other part of you into anything.

Goes sooooooo slow over any bumps, humps or ledges.

Asks like 457 times if you’re okay and smiles everytime you say “Yes, babe. I’m good. Thanks.”

Vox 🖥️

Does not mean to offend but he tells you he would happily build something that could have you up and walking with ease.

If you’re down to try, he’s more than happy to experiment!

If you’re more than happy staying in your chair, he completely understands but still tries to give your chair some upgrades.

Adds a phone to your chair so you can always contact him

Also watches your every move everywhere you go through his cams bc he doesn’t want some dickhead to think they can take advantage of you

Loves when you come into his work room where all his screens are bc it’s a bit crammed in there so it can be hard to get your chair around. Therefore, Vox loves to pick you up and sit you in his lap while he works.

He’ll press soft kisses to your neck and let his claws travel up and down your arms as you melt into him

And when you finally ask to go back to your chair, it turns into a playful fight.

“Aww, (Y/N). I was just getting comfy. What if I just keep you here.” As he hugs you tight, speaking in a teasing tone.

“Vox, I swear to Satan! You better put me back in my chair right now or-“

“Noooo~ I don’t think so.”

And he just continues to enjoy your company even as you pout and huff.

Alastor 🩸

Always uses his shadow or his tentacles to lift you up and whisk you around.

Doesn’t ever really ask for permission or even warn you before he picks you up and carries you to and from your chair.

“Oh! Alastor. I can do it on my own. Really, I’m fine.”

“Nonsense, sweetheart. The pleasure is all mine. What kind of partner would I be if I didn’t assist my love with getting around?”

He doesn’t have much of a filter, nor does he understand boundaries or personal space

So he will just grab ahold of you and wheel you around to his hearts content regardless of your protests.

One time, he unexpectedly rolled you up to his radio tower, wearing a particular cheery smile.

“Come, dear! I’m just about to start my podcast. Care to join me~?” He holds his hand out to you from across the room, waiting for your okay

As you give him a nod, his shadow lifts you and carries you to him as he sits at his desk, you being lowered down onto his lap soon after.

“Lucky you! Up close and personal for tonight’s show. Aww, and look at those flushed cheeks! What a doll you are~”

Alastor loves to sit you in his lap and then make fun of how flustered you get. It doesn’t happen often, him getting all close and touchy with you so when it does happen, you always panic and start stuttering.

He really gets a kick out of you being in a less than ideal situation and not being able to get out of it without him letting you. He’s a sick fuck, what’d you expect? He does it out of love~ ❤️‍🔥

[lelianasbong]

One thing I'd really love to see re/wyllstarion in some capacity (might have to just write it myself someday) is how like. Yes wyll is a monsterfucker and to some extent astarion being a vampire is hot to him and he's canonically monsterfucker adjacent at the very least HOWEVER. i feel like the thing a lot of people miss (or it's just me idk) about astarion is that he's straight up Not Good at being a sexy vampire he's not good at being a cool dominating creature of the night like. There's a whole scene about how cringe and practiced all his lines are he's notoriously whiny and campy and unstable and ngl he's not the kind of person i can see actually dominating anyone (mostly just for the safety of all involved but that's neither here nor there) ANYWAYS my point is: 24 year old virgin wyll ravengard who satisfied himself wih fantasies up to this point finally stumbles across a sexy vampire he could live those fantasies out with only to come to the shocking realization that 1. wyll himself is somehow the better seductor 2. they're both bottoms

That last bit lmfao 💀💀 Woe!

You know, I think Wyll actually *is* a little taken in by the oooh suave vampire bit, more than anyone else in camp (I say this as someone who personally is 1000% invested in cringe and whiny Realstarion vs. Generic Vampire Fantasy Guy even if Astarion has fun LARPing the latter) if only because of 1) all those times Wyll calls him charming behind his back and 2) "elegant bearing, saucy voice - I should've seen [that he was a vampire], the signs were all there!" (I will never, ever get over this line. what the fuck. THIS was what clued you in vis-à-vis the vampirism? Not the fangs or the red eyes or the puncture wounds..? WYLLIAM!!? we need to talk).

BUT I see your vision, anon. I do. Wyll IS the better seducer, he HAS the greater rizz. He's batting .400 on pickup lines, Astarion's 10 CHA simply cannot compete with Wyll's princely gigachad energy.

Wyll would definitely have to adjust his expectations, but I like to think that's part of the fantasy - the romantic ideal - for him. To be the guy who uncovers the humanity beneath the (sexy) monster facade. Getting to the soft squishy center of someone like Astarion or Lae'zel, etc. would feel soo, sooo rewarding to someone like Wyll, who by all accounts is deeply attracted to people with sharp teeth... but craves the pomp and pageantry of courtship and a deep and tender connection.

[grimowled]

poisonedspider said: "That outfit looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd be coming, too." / ☽ terrible pickup lines - accepting !!

OOOH, HE DOES LOVE THE FORWARD ONES ... a sinner, no less. four predator eyes mean a once over is no more than a split second, and the owl prince's attention is utterly rapt by the lovely sinner addressing him so scandalously, confident and sporting a grin like a cheshire cat. soft tufts of white and hot pink twine and blend with sleek, glossy black to shape the generously limbed and limber creature - quite the sight, one who effortlessly stands out above the crowd of well-dressed patrons of a high-end bar in lust, infamously expensive and aptly luxurious among hell's rings. it is little wonder one can't get away from the adverts and billboards plastered all over ... certain areas of the rings, depicting such an exquisite vision to entice infernal dwellers into believing, if for a split second, the sweet lie that hell isn't such an unforgiving place, after all. that is the diabolical sorcery of visual media, luring souls from the mortal realm above straight to the fallen domain. thankfully he happens to find this kind of humour quite irresistible, so with a swish of his starlit cape he swirls around, feathers in a delicate flutter as he lets out a soft string of hoots in appreciation.

"--who, little old me?" he questions with a modest little inclination to his tone, making a subtle show of being surprised by the sudden attention; of course he is no stranger to gifted sinners spotting an opportunity to entice some high-rank demon from prospective customer to patron, especially in such an establishment, and who is he to deny a little sponsorship ? the owl prince may not be the most handsome of options, but he is certainly far wealthier than anyone inelegantly flaunting their riches in there. not a bad choice - in fact he approves of the leggy sinner's shrewd eye for old money; that is, if his assumptions are correct. in a blink he's gracefully sweeping his cloak aside and taking a seat on the stool across the fuzzy starlet, long limbs crossing and charcoal-tipped tail feathers swishing languorously, glowing crimsons narrowed in inviting interest. with a snap of his talons, the barman appears to do the prince's bidding. "my, my. it's not every day I come across a celebrity. so humour an old owl, will you? let me refill your drink." it could be a pleasant break from his eternal languor, if the spider were to let him play in his web, he might even let him ensnare him for a spell.

@poisonedspider

[badwitch-if]

Care to tell some facts about the ROs?

Facts?! Oooh fun! Fun facts!!

Jules has the craaaziest pickup lines & style [that really seem like they should just crash & burn if anything] but it works, nine out of ten times

No matter where they are, Ori still talks to their sister, Lyra, almost everyday

Every year Ash schedules lunches with the long-running heads of their various fan clubs, as a way of showing appreciation for their continued support

Ori & Poe are in competition for being the most well-travelled of the bunch. Ori mainly travels for work and it has taken them across most of the globe, but they don't stay very long in one place. Whereas Poe traveled more leisurely and had more freedom with their time and itinerary***

Jules has been building their library since they were a child and it is properly [and rather astronomically] insured. The two times they've moved across the continent it's taken a small, highly-paid team to oversee the massive library's security

Ash is obsessed with the Humane soap opera, 'Best Bitches', an extremely silly, over the top show that Ori got some of the Silverlakers into early on in the academy years. Ash, however, still watches it religiously and knows all the storylines by heart

Poe loves grey, rainy days. And not so they can stay inside with some tea & a fuzzy blanket. They wanna go outside and take a walk, turn their face up into drizzle... and then go home, and see about a hot shower, tea & fuzzy blanket

Thanks for the ask! (=

And in case anyone missed them...

Poe's bio 💚 their playlist

Ori's bio 💜 their playlist

Ash's bio 💙 their playlist

Three out of the five four ROs have been posted, so we're only waiting on Jules [Tuesday] and the rest of the Silverlakers at this point!

***ETA — I already fucked up. Jules is now top-ranked most, well-travelled salesperson. way to fuck up the category that YOU YOURSELF SET, JANE (and within DAYS, might I add) 🤦‍♀️😅

[reginageorgesgirlfriend3020]

Oooh hot mama!!

"Hey everybody!!" Randy yelled. "Sydney Prescott has a crush on (Y/n!!)"

"Randy!!!" Everyone yelled in unison.

"Their. And I'm sure the word will get around that you like her!" Said Randy.

"Randy! I wanted to tell her myself!" Said sydney.

"Well yeah but", Randy said "I'm sure lots of people or even one us will tell (y/n) that you have a crush on her.

"You know", Billy said "I think it's pretty cool you have a crush on (Y/n). People may call me crazy or psycho but I respect you, Sid. It takes balls to admit you have a crush on someone". He said.

Sidney smiled. "Thanks Billy!"

"Actually I have a crush on her too because I saw her first". Said Stu.

"Did you say anything to scare her?" Tatum asked.

"Um", said stu. "No. Yeah. Yes". He said.

Tatum smacked Billy on his arm.

"Ow!" Said stu.

"You used one your corny ass pick up lines didnt you Stu?" Said sidney.

"Hey! I thought it was clever and- and I thought she'd go out with me!" Said Stu.

"And what was your pickup line stu? Huh?" Said Tatumm. "Hey baby. Are you a doctor because if you are check out my heart because it beats for you?" She said.

"Yeah". Said Stu.

Everyone laughed at Stu.

Stu rolled his eyes. "Oh whatever!!" He said.

Sydney said you walking as you and she smiled at you. "Ooh hot mama!" She said.

Billy smiled. "Go get your girl sid".

"What do I say?" Sydney asked.

"Compliment her on the way she looks. Ooh goodness gracious sid you got good taste. I might ask her out too!" Said Tatum.

"Okay. I'm gonna go ask her out. Wish me luck". Said Sydney.

"You got this Sid!" Said tatum.

"Go Sid!" Said Randy.

"Give her a compliment on her hair and shoes!" Said Billy.

"Dont fall and trip!" Said stu.

Randy threw a pen at Stu. "Ow!" Said stu.

You were trying to put your hair in a pony tail and you saw Sydney.

"Hiii (Y/n)!" Said Sydney. She smiled feeling shy.

"Hii sid!" You said.

"Putting your hair in a pony tail I see". Said sydney.

"Yeah", you said. My hair is super long. It goes slightly passed my butt haha so I have to put it in a pony tail". You said.

Sydney laughed. "You look really beautiful today. You look really beautiful everyday. I mean not ugly. You're not ugly at all. You, uh, you look stunning. I'm sorry". She said feeling nervous.

"Sid lots of people told me you have a crush on me". You said.

Sid looked at you. "I wanted to tell you that myself I just. ..uh...oh goodness I'm sorry. And-"

"Sid". You said. "I have a huuuuge crush on you too". You said.

"You do?" Sid asked. She smiled.

You smiled too. "Yes". You said. "Sydney Prescott-"

"(Y/n) will you be my girlfriend?" Sydney asked.

Your face lit up with happiness. "Yes sid! Yes I will!"

And finally Sydney kissed you with all the fiery passion she has about you as you kissed her back matching her energy.

"I love you (y/n)". Sidney said to you.

"I love you too Sydney". You said.

And everyone at school cheered for you guys finally being in a relationship.

[gojonanami]

Also, I'm not sure if I'm qualified to help you with physics prof gojo because I'm a B.Tech kid. My major is chemical engineering, but I do have friends from physics (engineering physics to be precise 😭 but it's physics too so :"D) major and they are chill like an iceberg to say the least. 😂 But that's just the general population in our college anyways so 🤷🏻‍♀️. The thing with us engineering kids that I've seen is we have a thing with hacking exams i.e studying just one day prior and still acing it :> and that stands for science kids in general too.

Another thing is we'd be cracking the darkest jokes (using science at times) with the most chill face.

Another thing can be that we're sneaking science into stuff without realising,

"dude I don't like ____, they/he/she be like a black body fr"

"*sees a cat* *names it Schrodinger*"

"may the mass times acceleration be with you 😌🤝🏻"

"MECHANICS IS EASY YOU SAY? *bombastic side eye* *blocks the person on every social media*"

"*sees crush* *panics because doesn't remember any pickup line* *goes with the same old - "can you feel this thing between us? Gm1m2/r²."*

*casually talks about end of time and universe*

"maybe if I run at the speed of light-"

"brooooooooo I just read modern physicsssss watch me build an hydrogen bomb and blast our labs now" (this was back when I was still in 12th grade 😭 and used to make a guitar out of meter bridge lmfaoo)

And these are just the beginner ones so I hope you still can understand it 😭👍🏻 other than that, half of us are just traumatised and don't know why we're here.

OH and I hope you don't miss on the jealousy sabbb 😏😏 because being a physics major would make her a women in stem and you know the gender ratio don't you? 😏 (In our college its like 1:4 fr 😭👍🏻)

Oh and never EVER ask them if they hate Newton more of Schrodinger more <3

They love maths, and hate chemistry somehow (I mean come on 😭 organic is fun okay?!). ( "My hypothesis failed, but atleast i didn't blow up the lab by accident." Said the physics major.)

🤩anon

omg I gotta keep these for reference because it’s perfect hahaha — I’m definitely gonna be using one / more of these haha

ooh yeah I def see reader as a dark horse kinda student where she’s very unsuspecting but ends up doing the best in class without talking much and that’s when her professor takes an interest 👀

oooh good point — I definitely will have to use the jealousy trope because we all know I love it 😭 I hate chem so I’m on their side (but I hate physics too so)

[mapsareforbraindeads]

yo so the oc is my new pet (like actually).

he’s a goofy clown man named elliot who works at a pier amusement park performing for little kids and “testing” rides. he dresses up like a clown (like actually) but he barely speaks (so like a mime) half because of the character and half because his english is really bad-. i don’t have him too developed but i know i want him to have a cocky, friendly personality and he’s always cracking bad jokes and using bad pickup lines 😭. here’s some art i made of him a year ago.

i like the coat, his original design only wore just a baggy white tshirt but i also designed this coat for him to wear when performing. his performer name is smiley so that’s why it says all that.

also i’m down bad for him because of the red hair, green eyes, all that lmao.

also he’s really bad at doing his makeup and it smudges a lot so thats why it looks like he got that glasgow smile.

also elliot has a love interest called ayuna but i wont talk about her (she was some writing i posted a bit ago tho). ayuna is this reporter intern girl and shes smexy and i also love her.

both ayuna and elliot are canonically dead though, elliot died when a ride malfunctioned and ayuna died in a car wreck 🫶

what else should i say about them i have everything 😭 ‼️

oooh, interesting! i’ve always been super into amusement parks and stuff, so i love characters that have some connection to that. maybe if you have more developed in terms of him and ayuna’s relationship?

[fleursbending]

Pickup line #2 of ???

🥴 If you blow me a kiss, I promise I’ll give it right back 🥴

Junie, if you had the choice to go to either a water park or an amusement park, which would you choose? I just recently got into roller coasters. But I lived in Hawaii for five years so a big part of me wants to say water park. Bbbuuuttt I’m not sure. What are you thinking?

I hope you have an amazing day!

LMAOOO i love these so bad thank you hehehe !!

my turn!! : do you know what the little mermaid and i have in common? we both want to be part of your world!

anywhoooo OOOH stop this is such a good question🤭! hmm well considering i cant rlly swim.. PLSJXK id say rollercoasters! ive only been on one once cos here in new zealand, we only have like one main amusement park? but yk that feeling where youre right at the top and ur tummy just DIPS! as you shoot back down - so mfing fun!! im not even like an adrenaline seeker i just think its something everyone has to experience once in their life! and u too bae!!

[pixyys]

At this point, I'm just used to your jokes now. Still doesn't mean that I cringe whenever I hear them /j

Indeed, I suppose I could become novice musicians along with Lippmann. Do you want to join us? It might even be cheap because of a two-in-one deal. I'll keep on learning the piano while you two can learn the violin. Maybe learn some musician pickup lines to impress Lippmann later on.

And for the Chopin? I thought about it again, but I think that it isn't considered sacrilegious. It still sounds nice afterall, and I'm pretty sure Chopin wouldn't mind. But I prefer the piano version as it sounds more clear.

Please don't give your jokes to Lippmann or anybody else. I can put up with it as I'm your brother, but other people will simply die of the cringiness of your corny jokes lmaoo /j. And afterwards I'll actually decapacitate myself because of the amount of terrible jokes I've had to hear. Pianoman don't you dare xD

An old couple, you say? Well, I don't know how to feel about that; we aren't even together. I convinced Silver to finally take a nap, but she just couldn't sleep. So in the end I had to literally hug her and stroke her hair to help her fall asleep... my heart has never pounded so quickly and loudly before.

Oh, my dear sister, how you make me laugh. I just wonder how you haven't thought up of such an easy reply, but I guess I am a genius. And do not worry, your secret is safe with me, because I definitely do not want to be strangled by those wires while being bombarded with your corny jokes.

Really? Is that what you know him for? Well, that Dazai definitely is cunning and mischievous. I'd have you know that he went head-to-head with Iceman, and Iceman even failed to assassinate him, so he isn't a 'poor guy'. And please don't try your jokes on him. He'd quite frankly punch you.

-🎹

P.S. At least you think so? Well, pray tell, what happens in those 'romance novels' that you read? And as for the date? I think it's still too early... however I think I know what Silver feels for me

ahh this is exactly why i love you <3 finee, i'll tone it down with the "cringy" jokes, at least in your presence.

see? i was right when i said you should change your name to "genius man." do you need to ask? i'm definitely down for it. finally, i'll get another chance. this time with the musician pickup lines. there's really no going back if i mess up again. i just hope i won't embarrass myself in either that or my violin learning process. thanks, genius man!

hm. by the way, do you think lippmann is "lippmann" because he has pretty-looking lips? /lmaoooo plss im cryinf asdfjkl anyway-

ooh, i'm glad it isn't some form of artistic sacrilege. i sometimes listen to orchestra performances, but you're right. having a single musical instrument-say, a piano- dedicated to a single piece will make the performance much clearer.

ha! bet! maybe i'll start saying it to someone i probably won't meet again. like the barista i buy my morning coffee from! or the newspaper guy, or the old lady walking her dog down the street-okay that may be a bit too cruel. i'll probably still say one or two things to the men you stationed near our house though. to alleviate their stress and tension for a bit./lmao the saga continues

you.. you what?? brother, you don't even hold me and stroke my hair to sleep when we were toddlers. i think i'm missing something. oooh boy, when's the wedding day? i can't wait to be an aunt. i wonder if it's gonna be a boy? or a girl? or twins! everyone should be invited. we'll have the grandest celebration ever.

aww this is why i love youu (2nd edition). seriously though. err, does this 'nakahara chuuya' has bright orange hair and uh, quite petite in stature? i bumped into him when i was on my way to see you, and he looked quite.. severe. my tongue just acted on its own, and that "axolotl joke" came out. he did give me a nasty sting eye, but i didn't get punched! i guess that's a good thing..? ahaha..

p.s. you know of her feelings?? excellent. this is all according to plan. i'm just a little worried a possible misunderstanding might breach you apart, though. you know, what if she thinks you're feeling attraction to someone else after you asked her about that "crush"? that sounds like a recipe for disaster.

[hardfeeling505]

All about her

This story is about my experience became friend with someone i accidentally met on random tiktok live and i asking her to be FRIEND MOOTS

her nickname idk, i just call her M, she is the oldest child, from what i see she is a very good big sis to her younger sis(her sister is so lucky to have u M).height 5'4 feet in cm its like 162.56 (she told me how else i know😐)born on September something 2005. I thought i'm going to jail man😐 but i born on 2001 so it okay, thanks God for that✊ (im a little bit cooked tbh i'm on a thin ice right back there😔) she a Filipino Canadian Girl, raised in Alberta , Edmonton , Canada. It take about 24hr 45 min flight from my place. One day i hope for to meeting her in person😤,even though i know its not gonna happen(just me being delulu).

Actually, i want to witness the flower bloom in spring with my own eyes + Also meeting my buddy. She told me her province is known for Grand Prairie’s and stuff, it's like a full green land and have so many lake ,as i recall there also a moutain (6 hours ride from her home) bcs she told me that there is so many wild flower will bloom when it spring season. I bet the view is so beautiful, you know nature and beautiful, a word that can't be separated, and yes always beautiful + watching with her? Bro!! i gotta prepare insulin injection bcs i might got sick from all those sweet moment with her

(🗣️📢🔥🔥🔥this is not a pickup line).

Other thing about her.She is one of the lactose intolerant victim , can't drink or eat anything contain dairy stuff ,only almond milk. She told me she can't eat corndog ,poor her.😭 Bro!! i eat corndog like i cant even count how much i eat.When she say that , i wish i can give her a hug but must keep it halal (yes i'm a muslim). Furthermore, i like like like it when she go suddenly share random fact about her ,one example of it "i hate energy drink" and "im just got choke from reading your comment bro" , she so random Bro that is one of her charm and i loving it (as a buddy ofc)

And one moment, my dumbass go tell her to try drink banana milk, After re-read my chat i go Oof what have i done😐. I genuinely want to kick myself for that I'm so sorry M forgive me please i think i half asleep at that moment not thinking straight. 🙏 (im doom can't think of any better excuses Help😔)

Also the so CUTE impression of her i can't hold myself to tease her😭(im cooked). SO STRONG INFJ VIBE FR. There is one morning we chatting about breakfast , she say she making a toast bread, I ask her "M you eating the bread with what? peanut butter?" and she answer "i eat it with banana and something" , then i say "i like banana too" for real i like banana💯. Then, i saw my opportunity to tease her and i took it😭, i start with asking her "u know what i like too?" ,she reply "what?" , it might seem crazy what gonna say, i with my full consciousness say " i like strawberry jam, strawbewwy jam is so✨✨" , and she reply with "Oooh" then "okay". I feel like a bad guy at that moment but man she so cute i cant resist it I am so sorry M forgive me🙏😔. (i want to do it again frfr)

She going into Nursing then paramedics like ambulance people, praying for her to achieve her dream, Amin .Please God give her All the strength she need bcs im so far away from her🤲.(Proud for her Bro as buddy ofc).She enjoy work out so much (i like it too💯), consider it her hobby for now.She like to say LOL a lot i know everyone does but her LOL is different for me (dont attack me).

One more thing i like about her is her habits to explain to me about something until i truly understand, her effort Bro!!. (she like to express her feeling by put it all in her writing). I swear i will like and always read everything she wrote man like i feel like my eyes and brain (my whole life existance) is created by god to read her essay man, to listen to her. I literally crying right now while writing this. thank god i not writing this on paper man.She so precious to me Bro!!! like very unreal to me and i dont deserve to get to know her, to good to be true.

(Pls read this one paragraph below while listen to Everygreen by Richy Mitch & The Coal Miners trust me)

one moment , i talk to her about snow (we like to talk about random stuff) anyways it go like this i ask " M, is it spring there?" she answer "it still winter season " , after that i told her "i like winter but i like to see flower bloom in spring more" , and she start telling me all of her life experience living in 4 season, after that we caught in deep talk moment it for like forever for me (it feel long for me) It so beautiful man talking to her, its healing me. Then the sentence hit me.I dont want to lose her as a buddy ofc(she already on a somewhat relationship).

- her Twice bias is dahyun meanwhile mine is sana

- her Aespa bias is karina(same as me)

- her Nmixx bias is lily(same twice) Do you see there is a sign here.

Finally we are here thank for staying with me on this journey,The Main Topic is her MBTI😤

A Beautiful yet So Soft INFJ personality ,i have so much interest in this mbti man,you know this type of mbti is so rare. I am shooketh yes my jaw drop ahh so cringe but it is frfr when she told me her mbti i am so shock Lol, i never found this type before all of my friend male/ female is always started with E and end with J or some case started with I and end with P, what i want to say is it so weird to me this type of MBTI INFJ. It so UNIQUE thats the word .Don't want to be so hype talking to her so i tried to cover with "oh idk u were an I" meanwhile me talking to myself ofc she an I you dummy she like nature and stuff also she admire cat ☝️😃 Also it her fav animal. (i bet you 100 dollar she will pat every cat she bypass)

About her song taste is interesting .Quite similar to me or just the same genre?🤔 As expected from her MBTI type. Her fav song is My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski (this song is PERFECT just like her)😤 *i want to cry again bro. She has 39K+ minutes streaming on spotify for this song ALONE (she told me). JUST FOR 39k MINUTES ??? THE SONG IS IN YOUR BLOOD GIRL FRFR . It Mother Mitski song never ever doubted her song✊). One statement from M. "I actually have 209k minutes of listening to music on Spotify😌"

I want to ask her ig so bad Bro!!! or anything that can i use to reach/contact her others from tiktok. i can't use my sticker that the main reason, all my hilarious meme collection relatable go to waste and also i'm a coward.

Something i truly get hurt from is the fact she have anxiety/panic attack(she frequently got stomachache).I really want to know how to pleasant or calming her, tbh i try search and read many article about anxiety, unfortunately ,i don't find any effective ways just some drinking water and stuff like that😔. Even though i suffer from same thing but i too don't know any tips.Maybe try go to therapy session like me once a week?(its not working for me my therapist just want my money i know it not that right Mr Lim? you scammer he is chinese).Article nowadays is unhelpful.

I think i just like her personality or am i? or im just too easy to catching feeling (maybe its true). It just a phase i guess i will get over it😌

Sorry i forgot to put her Newjeans bias(her ultimate Gir Group). Her bias is Kang Kaerin😸 , i agree with her Kang Haerin is so cute but She more cuter to me ahh i wish i could tell her this, what a coward i am. Ofc bcs they share the same Mbti INFJ (she like her so much, i bet her photo album of Kang Haerin is more than 500+ pic). Her bias wrecker is Danielle🐶(my bias), YES if you notice there is pattern here.If you a Bunnies, DaeRin Friendship you will get it what i mean. Also i make a Favorite Collection on my tiktok profile for her, I know i know, it nothing but i should do something for her. The Title "For Her , yep U" . I remember creating it 3 day after meet her, and ofc as buddy nothing personal. My tiktok name is Newjeans Haerin (cactus name)🥕 on her Jean'Zine solo vlog.

Btw I'm an INFP My MBTI ,funny right?

About my MBTI there is story too🤟.

Before the covid, i take the MBTI test between 2018-2019 i'm still in college back then and My first MBTI test result is ENFP. Fyi, i'm quite not shy person. Main reason, 2nd child curse?. i believe this is so true My family always ignore me frfr😭 but i know deep down of their heart they still care or maybe bcs“ i'm annoying "ahh kinda kid back then, I like hugging them, its that wrong?😃 that not a crime and i am still kid. I think clingy is the word😌🤟.Don't blame me, since birth i'm like this (im cooked)

After Covid, between 2023 year i retake the test the reason is i notice that my social skill is gone ,maybe bcs im live alone. Literally, It was like i scare to talk , i'm worry that someone will judge me when i approach them. I hate anxiety bro!! My condition is so bad at some point i can't breath normally , it like my chest is so full, i took various antistress pill(i stop taking them now) this entire pain after years not talking much to someone, only my cat Lol, i love my cat he so cute like frfr😭 his name is kuromi. he a black cat with yellow eye + he like hugging me,he is the only creature that like back when i hug😭 the other half of me. About friend i have friends so many friends but i don't usually contact them by phone or online its just me, i prefer go meet them , stop by for a drink like that , Face to face Obviously before covid what harm can happen to you by doing outdoor activity?get hit by car? actually that is harmful.Super harmful actually, really what the dangerous thing could happen to you? got sick from fever? Back then even social anxiety scare to me😔. Yeah i know what u thinking My friend when don't like the idea i want to hug them too , that not a new things to me i'm just joking 😔(im not).Frfr i have so many friends. It so easy to make friends Bro!! like just go talking to someone new i don't see any problem at all . It just 2 human talking like .

you=>🧍🏻talking🧍🏻<=me

Agree with me Dangerous Virus is just a myth before covid-19 exist, its like a movie title Bro so dumb. Just a small dumb virus ruining my life.

Continue my story about mbti test , i retake it, the result come out, and i got the INFP BRO!!☹️ as expected ,yeah the E is gone. Untill now i still not retake the test but im 💯 sure the E is back bcs starting this year at my workplace i slowly not slowly tbh Lol, easily can approach people now bro like frfr, i think i enjoy talking to people back , i like listen to them. i know what u think the hugging thing i can control it now.Bro i'm a grownass man now😭 (i still like hugging but not other gender keep stay halal). Maybe i should consider retake the test again this year🤔.Overall For who reading this now.Thank You Very Much For spend your time reading my yapping essay about someone who already i lost contact with. My conclusion is, Heals Really Take Time FRFR,you just has to trust the process.

#MBTI#Healing#infj#enfp#infp#Mitski#yapping#shortstory#fantasy#humor#frfr#halal#anxiety#covid#imcooked#haerin#danielle#newjeans#nmixx#lily#aespa#karina#twice#dahyun#sana#spotify#🥕#feeling#tiktok#tiktoklive#canada#alberta#edmonton

side note : i type all this while listen to her fav song on loop, I'm not good at writing essay unlike her, sorry for all grammatical error or miss place, word conjunction. Thanks all for the memory M. Hope ur doing Great Now.

[gingerly-writing]

Hey Ginger, what are some of your favorite tropes in hero/villain ships?

oooh, good question! I’ll stick to positive outcome hero/villain ships in this because while I do love a tragedy it’s a very different ball park!

flirting/banter

when both of them are utter cheeseballs and toss around the most godawful pickup lines known to man in the guise of ‘fun teasing’ except they both secretly mean it

when both of them are sexy and suave as fuck and there’s a terrifyingly competent mutual seduction going on (big spy vibes)

when one of them is a flirt and the other is a blushing/repressed disaster because of i

teamwork

when they “hate” each other but they’re forced to team up against a greater evil ohohoho

when one of them is forced to save the other’s life/nurse them back to health

when the hero helps the villain heal and come over to the good side

when the villain drags the hero down to their level and they become either a nightmare bastard couple OR the villain has actually been right in some way the whole time

when they find a compromise between their contradictory philosophies awwww we love the communication

secret IDs

when one of them learns the others ID by accident and decides to take advantage by seducing their civilian half (and then they fall in love by accident and we have an inbuilt dark night of the soul where the other one finds out the deception and I sit on tenterhooks for the hopeful moment of forgiveness EVERY TIME)

more complex but when you have a Miraculous Ladybug style love square between the hero and villain and then their civilian identities that shit is soooo funny and you can inject as much angst as you like

when they both know each others IDs but they’re forced to interact as civilians by circumstance (job, mutual friend etc) and they’re both mad af about it...at first

the good moments

straight up I am a slut for the ‘pinning you up against a wall’ classic

the moment of trust where they willingly share their identity 

the moment of trust where they come crawling to their nemesis for help

the part where they’re both in denial about it and someone else calls out the attraction to their face and they’re like ‘hell no/oh shit’

when one of them fucks up their tacit arrangement (e.g. the villain goes too far or the hero gets pressured into arresting them) and the other one is so disappointed and hurt

when they work together for the first time and they’re a natural team! and they really enjoy themselves! and they look at each other and just grin because they’re doing so well and having so much fun! pure moment

thank you for this ask I’m now going to go and write eight quintillion hero/villain prompts based on all these tropes ;P

[keiffeine]

how keith would confess

with gender-neutral reader.

warnings: none :)

a/n: this was a request, but i accidentally deleted it. :’( sorry! anyways, i love writing for keith. he’s literally my favorite vld character. <3

fluff

• when keith comes to the realization that he’s got feelings for you, it takes a while for him to confess.

• because half the time he’s contemplating if what he feels for you is real, and the other half he’s trying to figure out how to properly put his feelings into words.

• after he’s 100% sure that his feelings are genuine, he just goes, “fuck” and panics.

• keith really values the friendship you have with him already, and he doesn’t want to ruin that because he doesn’t know if you feel that same.

• so he goes to shiro for advice.

• and he tells keith that the important thing is to just be yourself and to make sure to shoot his shot before it’s too late.

• keith even goes to lance, the self-proclaimed love expert.

• lance generally tells him the same thing shiro does, and tells him stuff like:

• “does y/n have a favorite flower or something? why not get them a bunch of bouquets, too? oooh, they like chocolate right? give them chocolate!”

• also advises keith to drop some pickup lines ofc.

• lance would literally rehearse and run through the scenario with keith.

• “okay, keith, pretend i’m y/n. remember what i taught you.”

• “uhm-”

• anyways.

• the day of the confession, which keith had been dreading.

• he’s nervous, worried for what was to come.

• he sees you in the lounge room alone, which is incredibly covenient for him, greeting you with an awkward “hey” as he sits beside you.

• you kind of just look at him and go “?” because he sat next to you, but hasn’t said anything else for over two minutes while twiddling with his thumbs.

• so you ask, “are you okay, keith?” with your eyebrows slightly furrowed, confused by how weird he was acting.

• “me? oh—uh, y-yeah? why wouldn’t i be?” he stammers and laughs nervously, feeling his face go warm.

• “if...you say so,” you say quietly, “but, i mean, i’m just saying, if there’s something going on—you know you can tell me.”

• and you smile.

• and it makes keith’s heart leap.

• internally, he’s chanting, you can do this, you’ve got this, just tell them.

• so he takes a deep breath and scoots a little closer to you and says, “so—hypothetically speaking, if i were to tell you i liked you, what would you say?” keith asks.

• and then he starts to cringe at himself as he watches you.

• on the other hand, you’re just as nervous as he is because you’re thinking, “jdhdjdjx is he saying what i think he’s saying?”

• you calm yourself down a bit and respond, “like, as in a friend way or...relationship way?”

• “a relationship way...” keith says and awkwardly clears his throat, looking down at his lap.

• his heart’s beating so fast at this point, and he’s scared over what you’re going to say next. keith was certain you were going to say no. would you still talk to him after this—still be friends with him?

• he feels you move closer, your shoulder bumping with his.

• “i would say i like you too,” you answer, “in a relationship way,” you add, and then kiss keith on the cheek.

voltron masterlist

all masterlists

rules & information

[things-happens]

The good stuff

BERTHOLDT HOOVER X F! READER

Modern AU (Sophomores in Collage)

Anon request: LMAO can i get bertholdt + 15, (“you’re really bad at the whole flirting thing”) i can imagine reiner telling him some pickup lines, but they make no sense and backfire... thank you if you can ! ❤️

Prompt List

Mastlister Warnings: Drug use, Alcohol, Sexual actions implied Words: 1k

“Come man! If you want to get her you have to pursue her.” Reiner stood behind his best friend holding onto his shoulders shaking him slightly.

Bertholdt sighed, “I don’t know… what if she doesn’t feel the same.” He looked at Reiner, worry talking over his face.

Reiner pursed his lips sighing, “Bertholdt, I know you’re new to this dating thing.” Bertholdt tried to protest. “AND, having a crush on Annie since we were what? 15? That doesn’t count, sorry bud.” He shrugged his shoulders.

Bertholdt looked at his feet shifting in place, he looked over to Y/n. Sitting on the grass with her friends, she wore a maroon flower dress with a tan coat. Y/n wore under spandex so she could move how she wanted. The sun shined onto her and her friends, making Y/n’s eyes shin even more.

“Look that party the other night, I get that you were drunk and so was she. But everyone knows that when drunk you show your true selves.” Reiner gave him a little push “At least go say hi…”

Bertholdt took a few steps out onto the grass, before turning and walking to his dorm. Walking through his door her threw his bag on his bed. Sitting at his desk, he put his head in his hands. Bertholdt wished he weren’t so shy sometimes, like that night.

Music was blasting in the frat house, Reiner convinced Bertholdt to go with him. It smelt like sweat and booze. As Bert followed Reiner around as he greeted other football players, Y/n sat on the couch with Sasha and Conny. Ymir and Christa sat on the couch a crossed from them, Conny and Sasha had taken some edibles and were giggling their asses off. Sasha held a giant bowl of chips she shared with Conny and Y/n if she wanted any. Y/n was the unspoken designated driver, but for once tonight she wanted to get drunk. She wanted to dance up against a stranger and just have fun rather than a headache and act like her friend’s mother.

Y/n stood up abruptly, walking over to the kitchen. She wiped her hands on her sleeveless turtleneck and blue jeans. She opened the island cabinets hoping she’d find something that hasn’t been opened. She’d rather not get drugged tonight.

Bertholdt had lost Reiner in the crowd, he walked over to the kitchen. Seeing a girl with half her body in the cabinet, he looked at her as she came up huffing. She was Y/n L/n, from High School and his Nine Titans Mythology class.

“Bertholdt! Hi!” she smiled at “this is awkward…”

Y/n stood up, closing the cabinets. “you wouldn’t know where to find some strong booze do you?”

Bertholdt eyes widened slightly, Y/n didn’t seem the type to get waisted. “Yeah, I know- or Reiner knows the guys who lived here. He told me where they hide to the good stuff.”

Y/n smiled wider, “Yes! One please can I have a bottle or two.” Bertholdt put his hand out and Y/n took it.

Bertholdt led Y/n to the garage, he found the only green moving box opening it to find an assortment of alcohol. He moved the lid completely showing y/n the hall.

“oooh, damn else football jocks need to get a new habit.” Y/n reached in getting a Jack Daniels and Vodka as Bertholdt laughed at her statement.

Bert closed it and placed it back where he got it. Y/n waited for him at the door, they walked out and over to the living room. Y/n handed the Vodka to Ymir and Christa to drink.

“Okay, you wanna drink with me?” Y/n held the Jack Daniels with two hands right under her chin.

Bertholdt chuckled a little at her cute position, “Yeah sure,”

Y/n made Ymir and Christa move since they were basically on top of each other. Bertholdt sat kind of nervous, he has drunk alcohol because just never drunk. For the next 30 minutes, Y/n would take large gulps as Bertholdt only took small swings knowing he has a low tolerance. Y/n looked a little wabbly while Brat was just staring at her chest not realizing what he was going.

“Bertototo, you want to go dance?” Y/n asked grabbing his hand pulling him up, she led him to the music. As Ymir and Conny clapped for her

Y/n stopped somewhere in the circle of people, grabbing Bertholdt’s wrist she placed them on her hips and her own around his neck. Their foreheads touched, nearly making their lips touched too. Their hips swayed in unison, just enjoying the feeling of one another.

Y/n could only think of that night it was blurry, but she loved it. She liked the shy boy since High School, but he seemed to always have an interest in Annie. Y/n walked into the library, sitting down on a table.

“Okay…” Reiner walked into their dorm room, “What the hell was that?”

Bertholdt sighed “Reiner, I’m not you. I can’t flirt.” Bertholdt turned his chair to Reiner stood in the doorway.

“come on…” Reiner moved leaving space for Bertholdt to walk out, “I'll actually help you this time.”

Reiner and Bertholdt walk to the library standing outside. Reiner stood outside and grabbing Bertholdt by the shoulders.

“Okay, you’re gonna go in there and say Are you a 45-degree angle? Because you're a cutie. Ymir texted me a told me she’s doing math homework to go!”

Reiner pushed Bertholdt through the doors, making a loud noise. Everyone looked at Bertholdt including Y/n who smiled and waved at him. He quickly walked over to Y/n and sat at her table.

“Hey Bertholdt!” she smiles sweetly at him, who was sweating a lot. “are you okay?” Y/n asked slowly

“are…” he spoke too quietly, “Are you a 45-degree angle? Because you're a cutie!” he said looking her in the eye.

There was silence, Bertholdt's whole face completely red while. Y/n slapped her hand over her mouth trying not to laugh. Bertholdt dropped his head onto the desk.

“No! Bert! You’re really bad at the whole flirting thing, but that’s okay!” he tilted his head looking at Y/n, “I like you but never take advice from Reiner ever again.” She laughed even harder making Bertholdt groan.

[jessiebanethedragon]

The clones according to my mum

so I found photos of all the bois and asked my lovely mum to tell me about them...  she’s never seen the Clone wars and only knows about it from what she’s heard me say

Rex: 

 The only blonde I think. 

He is your fav

“he’s the one thats ur husband”

Good leader. Tough but kind. 

Cuteness: 80%   

Cody: 

“Oooh that one has a scar.” 

Fives???

Crosshair???

Is an angry man 

Maybe a resting b*tch face

“I like his brooding face” 

Cuteness: 85%

Wolffe:

“I know i should know this one because of his missing eye”

“You talk about him alot…” 

“I like him more than I like Cody.”

Crosshair???

Cuteness: 90% 

Kix: 

Why tattoos? Why no hair??

Fives???

Nice mouth. 

Name: drax (like from marvel? yeh.) 

Looks like he is suspicious of everyone

Jesse:

“Oooh he's got a blue shoulder thingy like Rex!” 

Brooding. 

“Brooding is good.” 

Not too sure about the tattoo 

Cuteness 85%

Hardcase:

Wide mouth 

Looks smart 

asks good questions 

Looks like Jason Statham 

Me: that's Hardcase. Her: he doesn't look like a Hardcase

Dogma: 

“Well if anyones a Hardcase it’s this guy!” 

Super resting b*tch face

In charge 

Thinks Anakin is too reckless. 

Fives:

“It’s like I should know who this is...omg is this fives???” 

So brave

Just wants to do his job and get home 

Nice hair poof.

Cuteness 85%

Tup: 

Looks super sad

So sad 

Slicked back hair, ponytail??

Seen too much 

87% (extra 2% bc he’s sad) 

Needs cuddles

Heavy: 

“Omg”

Very intimidating 

Has big wein armour 

Nice eyebrows

Looks like Thomas Shelby 

Waxer: 

“Omg he looks sad as well!” 

Very kind and nurturing 

Rescues the little one?

So caring. “I like him.” 

Cuteness: 88% (also gets cuddles)

Boil:

“Did he help rescue too???”

Little side burns awww

Not sad, just worried 

His name is Colin 

Cuteness 90% 

Echo: 

“Wow”

“The handprint is significant because it's his friends hand.” 

Very serious and determined 

Nice hair 

Flirty but hides it

Cuteness: the sev snape of clone wars (very cute)

Echo (after techno union):

“Is that Techy??”  “mum NO”

Someone was very mean to him 

They put things on his brain 

Needs lots of love. 

Big Puppy eyes 

Me: “what if i told you this was…” scrolls up to pic of echo* 

*gasp* “NO!!! Is it???? What did they do??? (i explain) Disgusting, i’m disgusted. My Poor baby!!!”

 Crosshair: 

Oooooh

IS HE CROSSHAIR????

Eye tat

One of the favs

needs a better hairstyle tbh 

Cuteness: 79% but 80+  if they hadn't done him dirty with the hair

Tech: 

This is the tech dude

A university boy

Good sense of humour 

83% cute

Keeli: 

“Ohhh who’s that???”

Is a pretty boy 

Nice eyes 

Who is this???

Nice eyelashes 

Does Not need pickup lines. Too suave

Soft teddy bear boy

Cuteness:  100%

Hunter: 

Rambo. This Is rambo. 

Sly stallone. 

Looks like he'd be a fun guy

Long hair (eh idk if i like it)

Smart 

Lots of muscles 

Good runner because he’s carrying a big backpack

Wrecker: 

Looks batsh*t crazy but like in a good way

Does he hang out with crosshair?

Me: “he’s enhanced. How do you think he’s enhanced”

Her: “enhanced sense of humour.” 

[mckennacbaker]

Kiss Her You Fool (Marauders One Shot)

**this story is based on the song Kiss Her You Fool by Kids That Fly. It takes place right after James and Lily’s first date**

James busted through the dorm room, out of breath and looking rather, well, green. He slammed the door behind him and collapsed against it, and Sirius untangled himself from his boyfriend and rushed to his best friend’s side, “Oy, James, you alright there mate?” Sirius grabbed James’s arm and steered him to Remus’s bed to sit him down. In response, James only opened and closed his mouth like a fish. Remus smoothed out his bed and motioned for Peter to join them. They all gathered around James, looking concerned.

Remus tried again, he touched James’s shoulder and asked, “Did something happen on your date with Lily?”

Sirius’s eyes went wide at the possibility, and before James could even open his mouth, Sirius was pacing the room, ranting, “If Snivellus tried to bother you in any way, I’m going to use so many hexes on him, I swear to Godric. He won’t even be able to finish school when I’m done with—”

Sirius abruptly stopped talking as he saw the warning look on Remus’s face, “Padfoot, sit,” commanded Remus. Sirius whimpered and sat across from them on his own bed.

“I blew it,” James whispered.

“What was that, mate?” Peter asked from next to James.

“I bloody blew it,” he covered his face with his hands, “with Evans. She probably thinks I’m an even bigger knob than before.”

Peter’s eyes grew wide, “What did you do?” Remus gave Peter a warning look, they needed to go about this more sensitively. James looked like he might keel over and die at any second.

“Well, when we left, I was nervous. So, I kept messing with my hair,” all the boys nodded, knowing about his habit, “And then Evans saw me doing it, and of course she yelled at me…” he trailed off and developed a dopey grin, remembering the moment.

“And?” Sirius demanded, earning another menacing glare from Remus.

“Well, after that, my nerves went away. It was just a normal date. We talked and laughed, and it was really fun. The date was practically out of my bloody imagination,” he seemed to be done talking, but had failed to mention anything that warranted his previous behavior.

“So then… may I ask what you came in here so upset about?” Remus asked with an amused grin.

James suddenly paled, “When- when we got back,” he threw himself back on the bed in frustration, “I couldn’t bring myself to kiss her. I was so fucking nervous about ruining the date that I shook her hand and bolted up here.” Sirius collapsed into a fit of laughter, while Peter and Remus struggled to hide their amusement. James just continued to stare blankly up at the ceiling.

Gasping for air, Sirius exclaimed, “You were worried about ruining the date with a snog, so you shook her hand instead? Brilliant, Prongs! I’m sure she liked that loads better.” Sirius laid back on the bed, laughing again. Remus went over to sit on Sirius’s bed, and with one warning look from Remus, Sirius was quietly sitting up with his head resting on his boyfriend’s shoulder. James looked like he might be sick.

“It’s okay,” Peter reassured James, “I’m sure you can come back from this. Lily really seems to like you.”

“Like me?” James said incredulously, “She barely agreed to go on this date. This was my chance to romance her, and I mucked it all up.”

“Well,” said Peter, unsure of himself, “Couldn’t you just go find her and kiss her now?”

Remus nodded, “You know, that’s not a bad idea. It hasn’t really been that long.”

James looked at them like they each had three heads, “I can’t just go back now. I would look like an idiot. I’ll just have to forget about her.”

Remus made a stern face, “Stop making excuses, Prongs. Just go back out there and tell her you forgot something. Then, when she asks what, go in for the kiss.”

Sirius smirked, “Oooh, Mooney has moves.” Remus blushed.

James still had a frown on his face and made no move to get up. Peter hauled him off the bed, “C’mon James. This is worth it; Lily is worth it. You’ve been pining after her since you first saw her. Don’t be a bloody fool.”

James pondered it for a moment, but then said, “No, I can’t. Lily deserves the perfect kiss, and this is far from it. I already fucked up; I’ll just hope by some miracle she agrees to a second date.”

Sirius stood too now, and began steering James towards the door, “You’ve got to stop waiting for a fairytale, Jamie. It’s not coming. You have to make the moment magical, don’t wait for someday.”

It was Remus’s turn to smirk, “Why don’t you ever romance me with a magical moment, Padfoot?” Sirius swatted at Remus, and in moments they were wrestling on Sirius’s bed.

After a while, James finally yelled, “HELLO? Fellow marauder in a crisis here!”

“Look,” Remus said, rising from the bed and pushing Sirius on the floor with a loud thud, “I know for a fact, she feels the same way you do. Don’t be afraid. Be your usual cocky self and go down there and snog her face off.” Sirius was now dramatically rubbing his bottom and making whimpering noises, in an attempt to make Remus feel guilty for pushing him. It did not work.

“How do you know that?” James asked.

Remus just shrugged, “Lily and I are friends.”

“And you didn’t think to mention that 10 bloody minutes ago?” James scowled.

“It’s not my information to share, but apparently you need all the help you can get,” Remus strode back over to his bed and opened his book, clearly done with the situation.  

Seeing his boyfriend get back in bed, Sirius practically pushed James down the stairs, “You’ve only got one chance, go kiss her before Peter calls you a ‘bloody fool’ again. That’s insulting, especially coming from him.” Peter rolled his eyes at Sirius in response. Once James was down the stairs, Sirius flounced over to Remus’s bed and placed himself between the werewolf’s legs, settling in for a cuddle. Remus immediately began mindlessly running his hand through Sirius’s long black curls as he continued to read.

Sirius sighed with contentment, “I can’t wait until James and Lily are as happy as us.”

“Mhmm?” Remus was only half listening, “Yeah, Pads, I love you too.”

Meanwhile, downstairs, Peter had turned into a rat, and was hiding to make sure his best friend didn’t chicken out again. James was relieved to find that Lily was still in the common room, although she was fervently whispering to her roommates. “Well, no way to avoid them,” he thought as he walked up to all the girls and cleared his throat. All of their heads snapped up, eyes wide.

“James,” said Marlene, “What a coincidence, we were just talking about you.” This earned an elbow to the ribs from Lily.

James felt his cheeks pink, but pressed on, “Do you ladies think I could speak to Lily alone for a moment?”

“Oh, of course,” said Dorcas, politely. The three girls rose to leave, and on their way out, Marlene shook James’s hand.

James gritted his teeth, “I’ll get you for that later, Marls.”

“What ever do you mean?” she smiled sweetly and sauntered away.

James sat on the couch next to Lily and began, “Look, it seems I, uh, forgot something at the end of our date there.”

Lily arched an eyebrow and wore an amused smile, “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah, I, uh, I forgot…” James furrowed his brow, “Oh, bugger Remus and his damn pickup lines.” Lily threw her head back and laughed. James loved that laugh, it didn’t even matter that it was at his expense.

When Lily was finished her fit of giggles, she spoke, “Look, Potter, it’s okay. I had fun today, really.”

James looked visibly relieved, “That’s great to hear. I was worried that you would want to hex me. I can’t believe I ran off like that, you don’t deserve that, Evans. You deserve someone who will have the bullocks to kiss you after a first date. Not, of course, without consent—” “Potter—” “—but instead, you went on a date with—how did you put it last year? —right, ‘a prick of a pure blood’ who has no idea to treat a woman. Look, now that I’m saying this out loud, if you never want to talk to me again, I completely—” James found himself being cut off, as Lily had jumped into his lap and pressed her lips to his. Lily bloody Evans was on his lap. Kissing him. After the initial shock wore off, James managed to kiss her back. It was lovely and wonderful and everything right in the wizarding world.

It was Lily who finally pulled away and breathed, “Wow.” James was wearing a rather dopey grin and was acting as though he was suffering from a lip lock hex. Lily stood and smoothed out her skirt, “See you later, Potter.” She hurried off in the direction of the girl’s dorm leaving James Potter, the most arrogant boy in Gryffindor tower, a bumbling, blushing mess.  

[mlrecords]

WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO with The Turtles

Raph: What's up? We're The Turtles. Leo, Donnie, Mikey, and I are going to play WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO.

Leo: There are only 10 questions.

Mikey: What are we waiting for? Let's go.

Donnie: Yeah!

Leo: By the way, I've played this before with my other band, We Be Three. So, I'll have to play again with my bros.

Raph: OK.

WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO w/ The Turtles

1. Who's most likely to streak?

L: I would say "Mikey."

R: Yup. It's Mikey.

D: Mikey.

M: Why? I have a shell to protec- Wait. Does it also mean to take off my shell?

R: Do you know what a streaker is?

M: (blushes) Oh. Yeah, I'll do it and run around NYC. Why not!

D: Yeah, do it. Actually, don't do it. This is not Truth or Dare.

2. Who's most likely to be on Broadway?

M: It's probably Leo.

R: Leo.

D: Same.

L: Can't wait to have a musical. I'm all locked up and ready.

R: If there's ever going to have a musical called "FaceMan: The Musical," I would buy some tickets.

M: Oooh. I love it.

3. Who's most likely to secretly be a good dancer?

R: It's going to be Donnie.

L: Sure, it's Don.

M: Agree.

D: Why? I love to dance, alright?! I danced like no one is watching.

M: Sure, Bootyyyshaker9000.

D: Stop that!

L & R laughed

4. Who's most likely to use a corny pickup line?

D: Adding to jokes, it has to be Leo.

M: Yup.

R: Have you ever picked up girls?

L: (blushes) No. I would only want to have a pick-up line if they're into me.

D: Sure. But, you don't have one.

L: Oh, quit it, D.

5. Who's most likely to leave the house their underwear?

R: Well, Master Splinter is the first. The second is me.

L: Raph does a lot of leaving them with undies just to make it more interesting for him.

R: What? It's just what I did. You're weird.

6. Who's most likely to win big in Vegas?

D: We're teenagers. We can't answer that. If we would have, I would say Mikey.

M: If I'm lucky enough, I would win a million dollars and would take you guys on a nice vacay for the boys! And April.

D: Don't know about that. She might brag about it.

7. Who's most likely to steal food off someone else's plate?

L: It's you, Raph.

R: OK, OK. I'm guilty.

M: Raphie, when was the last time you ate our food?

R: It was a pizza. I took the slice off of Mikey's plate.

M: You've been a bad brother.

D: Stop stealing food.

R: Alright, alright. I'm sorry.

8. Who's most likely to make a bet where the loser has to do something embarrassing?

L: Let me tell you. We are very competitive to play anything. Raph could take a safe bet so that he can be embarrassed for the next few seconds. Mikey can bet something dirty and we could get more embarrassing than that.

M: Yeah, I can't wait to upload that picture to my socials.

D: The comments are like making fun of any of us.

R: Brutal.

9. Who's most likely to receive a patent?

D: It has to be me.

L: You are our tech guy who knows about the weapons.

R: I can't wait to see the new inventions for us.

M: That is so exciting and science-y.

D: Thanks, guys. But, I want to be a hero just like my brothers. I don't need a patent.

10. Who's most likely to be the most excited about a day of shopping?

R: Oh, this is tough.

L: Well, we're not that excited.

M: However, I'm the only turtle who is excited about what to buy. And, I'm spending just a little bit.

D: Trying to save money, thank you very much.

R: Hey, guys. That's it.

L: I finally played this game for the second time. I'm glad you guys enjoyed it.

M: Don't forget our new album, Be There Done That. Gotta love the new tunes for us.

D: See you next time.