#oops accidentally went off in the tags again lol

[cosmicstarlatte]

hi!! can I request the brothers reactions to MC who talks in a cute voice with pets? i can’t talk normally with my cat he’s just a widdle baby 😭

MC baby-talks to their pet (Obey Me)

You can't help but talk in a cute baby voice with your pet. How does he react?

»Characters: Demon Bros »Tags: Humor, Fluff »Notes: This has been sitting for a long time lol. Thank you for the super cute request anon! I hope you like it! ^^ ♡ I tried to be vague for our non furry friends lol

Lucifer:

Had to do a double take when he heard you talking like that

Thought solomon accidentally cursed you at first

Relief when he realized you were just talking to your pet...why do people do that though???

Momentarily forgot he does that with Cerberus when no one is around

Thought it was cute and wholesome seeing you treat your pet so sweetly, you looked so happy

Ended up joining you because your little baby is a cutie

Tried to pull off a very deep voice when his brothers walked in on you guys

They called him widdle uwucifer™️ for a week

Even Diavolo heard about it alajsjfjglskflsk

Mammon:

Got jealous when he heard you calling someone your widdle baby

ISNT HE YOUR WIDDLE BABY!?

Super relieved when he found out it was just your pet

Got jealous again because he wanted some praise too??

"Yes yes Mammon you're a good demon too"

"And!?" (you pat his head)

"Hmph! That's what I thought!"

Joined you and your pet for some cuddles

Levi:

This poor thing thought you were talking to him at first and got so excited

When he realized it was your pet, he didn't think too much of your baby voice because even he has those moments with Henry 2.0!

What kind of pet owner would you be if you didn't talk to them like that!?

He played with the two of you and suggested making little cosplays for the cute little thing

Satan:

Was caught off guard for a brief second but joined you instantly when he realized you were with your pet

This man loves animals

WIDDLEBABYTALKTIMEAAAAAAAA

Convinces you to go to the devildom zoo so the animals there can get baby talk too because all of them deserve it!

Asmo:

Immediately knows what you're doing and GOES ALL IN

Baby talk, cuddles, just fluffy love overload with your pet!

He has no shame (as he should)

Even goes as far to include you in it, you're his widdle baby too! He cuddles you both in excitement!

Takes so many photos and posts it online

Beel:

Thought you were broken and got worried

Did you eat something cursed?

Realizes what you were doing and tries to join in but it doesn't go well, oops

The man sounds so stiff 😭

Your pet did not like it but did enjoy his cuddles!

Belphie:

Was sleeping and woke up a little, he thought you were talking to him at first

Okay yeah I could get use to this, it's kinda nice.

It wasn't until you started talking about treats that he realized you were just talking to your little friend

Thought about joining in but your voice soothed him and he went back to sleep!

[cosmos-coma]

Hello there! 👋😀

I was thinking of Bucky who volunteers with the elderly (considering his real age ) headcanons, please ! 🧓

No pressure of course ! 🫡

You. You get me. 😁♥️

Bucky Volunteering With the Elderly HCs

So I think it actually started at Sam’s request.

He understands Bucky to a good degree, being a trauma counselor and one of his few, but closest friends (despite the bickering lol). So he suggests Bucky get out into the real world again since that’s what helped Sam. He recommended Bucky reconnect with real people, and people from his own time at that.

Sam of course goes with him for his first visit. And while Bucky is a little nervous/awkward at first about how this will go he’s quick to loosen up

“Oh! Aren’t you a handsome one!” An old lady tells him, “how old are you now?” And he just smiles, “oh I turned 107 a few days ago.” The nurses of course think that it’s a joke, but the old people are the truth of it.

"Oh! So, you remember Joan Bennett and those silly weather prophet toys?" The old woman said excitedly. "Remember her?" Bucky says with a big smile, "She was my first crush. My mom and sister loved little women when it first came out."

All the older ladies adore talking to him, telling him all about their newly single kids (who are all like 60-70) and reliving pleasant memories of decades gone by. But Bucky does also make a point to visit with the men and old Vets and such too, where he's finally able to relate to someone outside of Steve. Though the old folks often forget some of the hard times (for which Bucky is glad for) they do get to recount a lot of good laughs and shenanigans they got up to In their respective squads.

Bucky doesn't even realize that by the time he's done and ready to leave that it's already been 4 hours. Sam even went to get lunch and come back.

After that Bucky makes it a regular thing. If he's not off doing missions and has a good chunk of downtime he'll go volunteer to spend time with the them. The staff and nurses of course absolutely love him and thank him profusely for his time and the way he's really lifted up the patients moods lately.

He also makes a point to remember people's birthdays. Bringing them flowers or a piece of pie from the diner down the road. He's also not above sneaking in some contraband either (mostly beer, nude magazines, and harmless prank items)

Of course becoming friends with old people also has its draw backs... and Bucky's heart breaks whenever he loses a new friend so quickly. He'll make a stop in at the funeral or wake, say his condolences and such, but doesn't usually stay very long. Honestly he's just happy to have known them in the first place.

But! To end on a happy note: you know the staff gave Bucky his own little locker or coat hook to put his stuff away in. He's in there so often that they actually print out a little name card and everything (Sam might be a little jealous).

________

(Oops! forgot to add the taglist!)

General Bucky Taglist:

@writingmysanity @simpxinnie @goldylions

If I missed or accidentally tagged you lmk! Wanna be added General Bucky taglist? Please ask/DM me!

[cyhyr]

There's Happiness Here, Chapter 2

Fandom: Naruto

Rating: Not Rated

Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/OFM, Hatake Kakashi & Umino Iruka, Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Minor or Background Relationship(s)

WC: ~9361

Warnings: Choose Not to Warn (Because I don’t know yet what I will need to warn for)

Additional Tags: One Night Stands, Accidental Pregnancy, Identity Issues, Miscommunication, Panic Attacks, Unrequited Crush, Co-Parenting, Hatake Kakashi is Not Okay, but he’s doing his best, Cheating, Minor Character Death, Endgame KakaIru, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Hatake Kakashi-centric, One-Sided Relationship

A/N: Oops I apparently forgot to post Chapter 2 here?? Well, since I'm making a post for Chapter 3 anyway... here's Chapter 2 lol, only seven months late 😅😅😅

Read on The Archive

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~

“The answer is no, Kakashi.” 

Kakashi very nearly flinches, but manages to remain stoic. “Sandaime, please. I—” 

“I cannot have one of my best shinobi Village-bound for such a long time,” Sarutobi sighs, looking over the formal request scroll in front of him again. Kakashi went through the proper channels just this morning, filling out the paperwork and selecting several open positions within the Village. ANBU Trainer, Assistant to the Jōnin Commander, Cryptanalysis Specialist, T&I Specialist—he picked the hardest positions to fill, jobs he knew he could do well.  

But Sandaime, and the rest of the Council on either side of him, all unanimously agreed to deny him his transfer request. 

Kakashi tries just once more, “It would only be until the child is able to walk.” 

Utatane scoffs. “And this woman you impregnated is only eight weeks. This reassignment you’re suggesting could take anywhere from two years at the earliest to close to four years if the child is stunted.” She shakes her head. “No, this cannot happen. Konoha cannot be without you in the field for years at a time.” 

“I... I understand.” Kakashi nods. “In that case, I would like to put in my notice of parental leave for the three months following the birth of the child.” 

Danzō and Mitokado both start to balk, but Sandaime raises a hand to stop them both from speaking before they start. “The child is due in May?” 

“Late May, yes, Sandaime.” 

He smiles. “I will approve you to have the entire summer off, then, following the birth. Relax and enjoy such time with your child. They grow up so fast.” He then stamps the request scroll on the table in front of him and passes it back across the table to Kakashi. “All this aside, though, considering that you are here; I do have a mission for you. You’ll need to leave within the hour.” 

Sandaime takes another scroll, this one marked with an S on the front, and slides it across the table. Normally, Kakashi would snatch it up and read it quickly while being given his mission brief.  

However, today he hesitates. 

“I... The first sonogram appointment is this afternoon,” Kakashi says in a small voice. “I had told her I would be there.” 

Danzō huffs. “Duty comes first, Hatake. We live in a village of ninja; even if your woman is a civilian—” 

“She’s not,” Kakashi frowns, not liking how Danzō referred to Shizukana as his woman, but also not knowing how to politely tell him off for it. 

“Then she understands that the mission comes first,” Danzō finishes. 

Kakashi takes the scroll and reads it quickly. He’ll be away for three weeks, maybe as much as a month. And, indeed, he’ll need to leave quickly if he’s to get to his exchange point. He had truly hoped to be there for the appointment today, but Danzō has a point; Shizukana is a kunoichi and will understand. 

~ 

“What do you mean, ‘you have a mission’?” 

Kakashi sighs and rocks a little on his feet. He’s packed, otherwise ready to go; he has to leave in the next ten minutes if he’s going to make his cut-off, and if he doesn’t make it then the Village will only reassign the mission to him again in six months and that will be even closer to the due date.  

“I mean, I have to go. I can’t tell you anything more than that.” 

Shizukana frowns, her eyes wet. She hugs herself over her (for now, flat) stomach and nibbles at her lip. “But... but you said you’d be there. I need you there, Kakashi-kun.” 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I have an obligation to the Village.” 

“You have an obligation to this child, too,” she says, and a single tear slips out of the corner of her eye. She hastily wipes it away.  

He takes half a step forward and reaches for her hand before she can return it to its place around her own waist. “In doing my duty to the village,” he says, pressing their fingers together, hoping that the touch will help ground her; they’re on her doorstep, and it’s public, and gods knows he can’t handle a crying pregnant woman if she decides to bawl her eyes out here, “I am fulfilling my obligation to the child. They need a safe place to grow up, yes?” 

She sniffles and turns her hand to lace their fingers together. He lets her. “Yes,” she agrees. 

“This is how I provide that safe place,” he tries to assure her. “I’m sorry, but I have to go. Here,” he pulls out a slip from his pocket, signed and dated already, and hands it to her. 

She takes it blindly, and then cocks her head aside, confused. “What is it?” 

“Access to my clan funds. Take out what you need, whatever you need. I had hoped to be able to sit down and talk out finances with you before this, but I might be gone for a while, and you may need... anyway, I don’t want you to be left wanting. And we’ll talk when I get back.” 

Shizukana giggles softly. “When?” 

He nods. It’s an S-rank, sure; but it’s mostly information gathering and not much on the assassination side. As long as he’s careful, he should make it back just fine. Before he turns to go, he asks one more thing, “Ah, Shizukana?” 

“Yes?” 

“Could you... hold off on announcing the pregnancy? Until I get back? It’s just,” he scrubs the back of his head sheepishly, “I have some friends that I’d like to tell personally, and I know that they’ll feel hurt if they hear of this through the grapevine.” 

Finally, for the first time since she opened the door to see him there, she smiles. “Of course, Kakashi-kun. I’ll hold off at least until I’m twenty weeks. That should give you plenty of time to come home, but I shouldn’t be showing before then. I’ll have to tell my chūnin captain, but other than that I’ll keep it to myself.” 

“Thank you,” he says, and turns to leave. 

“Oh, Kakashi-kun!” She stops him again. 

He very nearly groans. “Hmm?” 

She’s blushing as she asks, “Could I... get a good-bye kiss?” 

He blinks.  

“That’s... um...” There’s no one around, save for a few ANBU patrolling. He could be quick. But she... they’re not together, there’s no need for it, and he doesn’t really want to. She looks so sweet, shy, twisting the hem of her shirt in her fingers as she waits for his response. 

She’s carrying his child. The least he can do is acquiesce to her requests if they’re... reasonable.  

He ducks down and presses a masked kiss to her forehead. “I’ll see you soon,” he murmurs, and then flickers away. Hopefully, he won’t be late to his check-in for this blunder. 

~ 

It takes Kakashi three days to meet his contact in the small town of Miyatoro, on the border of Fire and Tea, and he nearly double-takes when he meets the girl because he knows he’s seen that same mischievous grin somewhere else before. But she is otherwise unassuming, and knows the code phrases for his mission, and so he meets up with her under the cover of purchasing an hour or so of her time and following her back to the room she has rented. 

Clothing falls away as he presses information signs into her skin under the guise of kissing and touching with much different purposes. She’ll say things like, “Oh, there,” and Kakashi can hear the question in her voice and repeats his signs.  

He doesn’t come, but he feels her shake apart underneath him. If she is truly a kunoichi then the least he can do for her is to give her a moment’s pause of pleasure within an otherwise unpleasant mission. And if the girl is just a civilian contracted to pass messages back to Konoha for him… well, even more so does she deserve a bit of respite.

He cleans her up and murmurs aloud, “We should do this again. Are you around for a few days?”

She nods and smirks. “Repeat customers get a discount.”

Kakashi chuckles and kisses her cheek. “Maybe I’ll just have you for longer next time.” He leaves her a few ryō and sees himself out. 

And so what if he finds himself hours later with his hand down the front of his pants imagining the way she gasped and threw her head back when she came; he has a shadow clone on watch, and his target has been asleep for hours.

~

Over the course of the mission he meets with the contact several times, always exchanging information via signs pressed into her body. By the third week he has become very familiar with her curves and scars, especially one in particular on her inner thigh that makes her sigh and writhe when he bites it. It’s a very unique scar—an almost perfect circle in faded white scar tissue. He almost asks her how she got it, but figures it’s not exactly proper pillow talk. 

The last time he’s supposed to meet with her, he goes to the alley where they normally meet and sees a young man standing there instead. He hesitates, but greets the man just the same as he would have his previous contact.

“Do you have the time?”

The man smiles and that same mischievous grin the previous contact wore flashes across his face. “For you, always.” 

Kakashi follows him to the hostel and finally catches the name on the room. Isozaki—an Uzushio name if he’s not mistaken. He closes the door behind them and presses the young man to the futon to send his last message. 

He kisses down the man’s body, parting fabric and searching for the scar to prove his hunch. He finds it on his thigh, a perfect circle a few fingers thick, and he licks it before kissing his way back up to the man’s ear. Very quietly, he murmurs, “Which pronouns do you prefer?”

“He and him, please,” comes the equally quiet reply.

“You make a stunning henge,” Kakashi chuckles, pressing his message into his skin. 

“Thank you,” he gasps. “You know this is a henge, too.”

“I know what I said,” Kakashi grins. “Stunning.” He kisses the young man’s chest as he continues his final message, and he ends up repeating himself twice over just for an excuse to keep touching him. 

He had created a nice henge of a woman in the weeks previous, but there’s something so lovely about this that Kakashi can’t quite get enough of. They grind together, grasp at each other; and Kakashi mouths at his neck and shoulder until the man gasps and clutches him tightly as he comes between them. 

Kakashi leans back just a little bit, to watch the last spurts of cum drip out of his cock, and he sighs, “Beautiful,” before taking himself in hand and adding to the mess on the man’s stomach. He’s still stuck watching, enraptured, as the man swirls a finger through their combined mess and then lifts it to his mouth to lick the cum off. He snatches the man’s wrist and pulls his hand away from his mouth, growling playfully, “Don’t; I need to leave soon and I can’t be late.”

The young man laughs and relaxes, and Kakashi lets him go as he stands up. He cleans them both, and then redresses before moving to the window. He glances back at his contact one last time to see him also redressing, smiling softly at Kakashi’s retreat; he waves Kakashi on, and says something soft and sweet, but in some other language that Kakashi doesn’t understand.

“What—?”

He shakes his head, “Just go,” he chuckles. “You can’t keep being late, remember?”

Kakashi nods, gives him one final wave and salute, and then slips out into the night to head back to Konoha. 

~

Once back in the Village and having turned in his report, Kakashi hunts down the first of the few people he needs to tell about… everything. He finds Tenzō in the ANBU mess hall, sharing lunch with another of Kakashi’s squadmates. They both are leaning in close together, chatting quietly, and Kakashi waits on the edge of their conversation until Tenzō  looks up at him and gives him a signal to approach. 

“Sempai,” Tenzō nods, smiling. “Come and sit, please!”

Kakashi shuffles a little, “Actually, I was hoping to just talk to you.”

Tenzō’s face falters just a bit, but beside him, Otter—Rakko, they’re not in their mask right now—just shoulders him playfully. “Go on, I’ll meet you later.”

“You’re sure?” Tenzō asks, and Kakashi watches Rakko roll their eyes and stand up. They pick up their gear from the bench beside where they had been sitting, a medkit and small weapons pouch, and lightly drag their fingers along Tenzō ’s shoulders as they walk away with a grin.

Kakashi sits down and leans over the table. “When did that happen?” he asks quietly.

Tenzō flushes. “Nothing’s happened,” he says. “We’re just… they’re just naturally flirty, I think.”

“Otter was on my team too,” Kakashi grins. “And they never were like that with me.”

“Stop,” Tenzō whines, putting his head down. “They’re my subordinate. I can’t.”

“Alright, alright. But you can always request a transfer, for yourself or for them.”

Tenzō grumbles under his breath, and Kakashi doesn’t catch what he says and he doesn’t bother asking. He sighs; and then, louder, he says, “You didn’t come here to comment on my… on Rakko and me. What’s up?”

Kakashi falters. Stammers, starts and stops again, until after a minute of false starts he just sighs and whispers, “I got a girl pregnant. She has to keep it. I’m… going to have a child.”

Tenzō blinks slowly at him and then lights up in a bright smile. “That’s—that’s good news, right? Are you happy about this? Can I be happy for you? I would like to be happy for you, Sempai.”

He chuckles and nods. “I’m not thrilled, because it was an accident. But yes, I suppose the coming of any child should be celebrated, huh?”

“I can’t… because of…” Tenzō doesn’t finish his thoughts, but Kakashi understands. He continues smiling. “I would like to meet your child when they’re born, and to help in whatever way I can. I could make you a crib when the time comes to furnish a nursery?”

Kakashi fights down the rising bile at the thought of putting together a nursery, because they’re still in the ANBU mess hall and even though a lot of people have left since he sat down, there are still stragglers and he can’t risk a panic attack here. Instead he just nods and tightens his fists against his thighs until it hurts, until he can distract himself from the gross feeling of his stomach turning over and over and over again. 

It doesn’t fool Tenzō. “We can talk more about it when the time comes,” he says softly. “Thank you for telling me. Who else knows?”

“Beside you?” Kakashi waits for a nod, and then mutters, “Her captain, the Council, and Iruka-sensei.”

Tenzō leers and chuckles briefly. “Iruka-sensei? When did that happen?”

Kakashi pales. “He’s not—we’re not—he has a boyfriend! He just happened to be working the Desk and I…”

The leering subsides and Tenzō softens. “Alright. So neither of us can have who we want, for whatever reasons.”

“That’s not—”

Tenzō waves him off. “I have to meet my squad. And you should, too, soon. When are you back in rotation?”

Kakashi shrugs. “Probably within the week. I guess I’ll talk to you later. Stay careful; or not, I suppose, what with Rakko being your medic.” He stands up and leaves the mess hall quickly, Tenzō gaping and sputtering after him. That was probably mean, but his kohai needs a push here and there or he’ll never let himself find happiness. There’s only enough room in this friendship for one of them to be so self-sabotaging. 

~

Shizukana passes into the second trimester with no medical issues, and it’s as the first snow begins to fall in early December that Kakashi sits down with her, sweet tea and her latest craving of pickled asparagus placed on the table, and asks what it is she wants from him.

She stops with a spear of asparagus halfway to her mouth and cocks her head aside, confused. “What do you mean?”

He holds in his sigh, trying to remain stoic. Calm. “I mean, are you looking for a co-parent? A financial beneficiary? Any child of mine has a chance of being… difficult, in a manner of speaking, and I’m more than willing to help train and teach the child when they’re of age if you’d rather I not be otherwise involved—”

Shizukana aggressively bites the vegetable in half and chews quickly, a finger held up on her opposite hand. Once she’s swallowed, she says, “Kakashi-kun, I thought it was already decided that we were in this together?”

“Well, yes. But I really need to know what manner of together you, as the birthing parent—”

“Mother.”

Kakashi stops, clears his throat, “Mother, if that’s what you would prefer then, alright. As the mother, what manner of together you want.”

She frowns. “It’s not really about what I want though,” she says. “It’s about what the child needs.”

His stoicism breaks and he hums thoughtfully, contemplating. “I have to admit that I don’t know much about what children need, and have only been thinking about how best to do this right for you. Could you explain what you mean?”

“Well,” she picks up another asparagus and wiggles it in her fingers, “They need stability. Children should have two healthy, loving parents; a steady, warm, consistent place to call home—with room to grow and the flexibility to shift and stretch if they need it. Gentle, but strong hands to catch them if they falter, but guide them through to adulthood to become good, independent members of society; those hands are ours, Kakashi-kun.” She nibbles at the asparagus and waits a moment to chew and swallow before finishing, “What I want is for us to raise this child together, as a family, just as my parents had raised me: with love and support from both my mother and father.”

Kakashi suppresses the urge to run, and instead twists his fingers in the fabric of his trousers while he turns this information over in his head. 

A family. That’s what Shizukana wants, and what this child needs, and if he’s to give them both that then he… he would have to settle down. Truly, he would need to find a place to raise a child and house this girl; meet her parents and family; possibly, someday, even marry her. He doesn’t want that. He… he’s not ready for that kind of commitment. 

And yet.

Shizukana eats more of the pickled asparagus and drinks the sweet tea and lays her palm over her belly, not quite swollen but maybe the slightest bit bloated. He doesn’t know anything about children—he supposes that they’re quite similar to puppies in that they’re mostly helpless for a time after birth, that maybe (hopefully) they’re somewhat cute, that they shit relentlessly and eat messily. This whole idea that they need love and stability has merit though, when Kakashi looks at the multitude of ninja he’s worked with who have lost one or both parents and are emotionally broken.

He doesn’t want that for his child. If nothing else, he wants to be around to see them grow up; but at best, he would like to be involved in their upbringing the way that Shikaku has raised his son. It does seem to be the best option. 

The issue, of course, is the problem of his work. ANBU will take him out of the Village for weeks at a time on missions, regardless of his status as a new parent; and the Council has already ruled on his request for reassignment.

“Kakashi-kun?”

“Hmm?”

Shizukana sets her tea down and lightly taps her fingers on the edge of the table. “You… you’re taking a very long time to think about this. I didn’t think it needed so much thought…”

Kakashi, finally, rubs his palm over his good eye and groans. “It’s not… my thoughts are quite unorganized at the moment. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to worry you.”

She smiles softly, just a quirk of her lips. “So then… we can do this? Together?”

“We were always going to do it together,” he says. He places his hands back on his lap and pinches his thigh to keep himself present and to bottle down the rising anxiety. “But, ah, yes. We can… your version of ‘together’, I suppose, does make the most… sense.”

She squeals, claps her hands together. “Oh, yes! I’m so glad you agree!”

He swallows carefully, not wanting to burst her good mood; if the book he had managed to read about pregnancy held any merit, mood swings will be inevitable, but he will do what he can to ease them. And yet the idea of together still makes him queasy.

“So then… what now? What next?”

She hums thoughtfully. He watches her think, relieved that she is actually taking his concern seriously. But then she says, “I… I’m not sure. We’re going about this all in the wrong order,” she ends with an embarrassed sort of chuckle. “I would think that you should come to meet my family, so that they’ll know the father of their grandchild. And then we should look into housing. My apartment is nice, but it’s not really a place to raise a child; and you're still living in the jonin barracks, yes?”

Kakashi nods. He’d already looked into this. He tells her as much, that they could have any house in the village, within moderation. “I don’t want something ostentatious,” he says as an explanation. “Perhaps something with room for all three of us, with a nice yard.”

Her eyes light up and she leans over the edge of the table eagerly. “In a good neighborhood?”

“I was thinking somewhere close to the Academy, yes,” he responds. “Maybe between there and the Nara compound?”

She nods. “That sounds wonderful! We could go looking in a couple days. I actually have a small mission starting tomorrow—”

Kakashi stiffens. “What? They’re sending you out?”

“Well, yes. I’m still fit and able to work. My captain hasn’t given me orders to come off of active duty yet.”

“But. What if… what if something happens?”

Shizukana softens and comes around the side of the table to sit beside him. She takes his hand and places it on her belly and he nearly winces at the surge of chakra he can feel jump under his palm. It’s not much, but it’s more than Shizukana herself is able to produce. “My team is under strict orders to keep me safe,” she says. “And if anything bad happens, then… that’s the risk I have accepted as a kunoichi of Konohagakure. The same as you.”

“But if something happens to me, it’s just me,” Kakashi argues softly. “If something happens to you, the child…”

He’s not sure why he’s feeling like this. He doesn’t want this child anyway, this relationship, this together—if something were to take Shizukana out while she were on mission this coming week, it would be better for him in the long run, wouldn’t it? 

But…

He would always wonder.

“It’s alright,” she says. “I won’t be taking missions after I start showing. My captain says I can apply to work at the Mission Desk.”

Mission Desk.

Iruka.

If he does this, this relationship—together, with Shizukana, for as long as it takes to raise this kid—his chance with Iruka slips away completely. Sure, Iruka is taken currently, seeing that other chūnin (Mizaku? Misako? Whatever), but he’s sure he isn't imagining the way that Iruka blushes when they talk, or the interest in his eyes.

He wonders if things could have been different, had he had the wherewithal to ask Iruka out. If Iruka would have said yes. What could have happened if he hadn’t ignored that drop of liquid on Iruka’s lip that night and instead had stalked over to his table and licked it up himself?

If he hadn’t held open the door for Shizukana to follow him out into the night.

But that’s not what happened, he reminds himself with a very subtle shake of his head, and instead lifts his gaze back to the woman before him. To his real life. No time for what-ifs or would-haves.

And ultimately, there is truly no choice to make at all.

“I know someone at the Mission Desk who can help you out when the time comes,” Kakashi offers. “In the meantime, I’d like you to write down what you want out of a house so that I can narrow down a few choices. When you get back, we’ll look at the final few and select one. I’d like to be moved in and closed on the property before the end of your second trimester.”

Shizukana smiles so wide and flings her arms around his shoulders with a happy sound. She kisses his cheek, and he holds her around her waist. They finish their tea together, and he leaves within the hour to wander the streets for the rest of the night, hoping he made the right choice for himself.

~

He doesn’t get the chance to tell Gai for weeks and weeks, as their mission schedules keep clashing in such a way that he doesn’t see the man until well into the second trimester. 

Kakashi settles on a house close to the Academy with Shizukana. The realtor showing the house tells her conspiratorially, “Four bedrooms in this place, too; very spacious.”

Shizukana turns and smiles wide at him, saying, “Kakashi-kun! Room to grow!!”

He just nods, knees a little weak and stomach about to turn over. He keeps his mouth shut for fear of throwing up. One child is more than enough. She loves the house, and he certainly doesn’t mind it. A room for her, one for the child, a separate one for guests or for use as a playroom, and one for him—just because he’s entering into this together-thing, doesn’t mean he’s going to give up his right to privacy quite yet. 

They sign the paperwork together, Kakashi as the primary deed owner and Shizukana as the secondary. He formally puts her name on the bank account he set up for the child, one that he promises to her that he will deposit a significant amount of his own pay into for her own use. She smiles at that and tells him that she also will put her own money into that same account. 

All the while, he sees Tenzō at the ANBU training ground and puts on a grimacing smile for him and Rakko, who Tenzō clearly had also told. He sees Iruka around the village with his boyfriend and pretends not to notice the dullness behind his eyes or the way that Iruka still holds his gaze whenever they meet. He takes Shizukana furniture shopping and arranges for movers to collect their things from their separate apartments.

~

Gai isn’t expected back in the Village until almost February, he eventually finds out. Iruka is the one to tell him, after he quietly asks one day if there’s been any updates from Gai’s team about his current mission.

“Ah, I see,” Kakashi responds, disappointed. 

“I’m sorry, Kakashi-san,” Iruka says. “But the good news is that there are no casualties as of yet.”

“I’m not worried about that,” he says. “Gai is a good shinobi, and he’ll make sure that his team makes it home. It’s just that…” He trails off, not knowing yet if he wants to really say much more, because he’s still not sure how he feels about this.

“What is it?” Iruka prods. “The room is empty, and it likely will remain so for some time; no one likes coming in this early on a weekend except for you, apparently,” he chuckles.

Kakashi’s heart stutters a little, wondering if he’s been found out, that Iruka has caught on that he comes this early just to see him. But the young man before him just looks up at him earnestly and holds out his hand to the chair on his side of the desk, motioning that Kakashi could sit beside him and just talk… if he’d like.

Gods, would he like.

He shuffles around and slumps into the chair, hands still shoved deep into his pockets. “Shizukana has another ultrasound appointment today. She’s going to ask the technician to determine the sex of the fetus.”

Iruka turns a little to face him and grins. “But that’s so exciting! You’ll finally know what you’re having!”

Kakashi sighs heavily. “I know what we’re having. We're having a child, and I will raise them the same regardless. It’s just… I wanted to be surprised,” he admits. He rolls his neck and watches the excitement fall from Iruka’s face the same way it had from Shizukana’s last night when he’d said the same thing. Was it truly such an odd position to take?

But Iruka’s upset turns to thoughtfulness and instead of the crying mess his… whatever-she-is turned into because of her pregnancy hormones, Iruka hums and says, “I can understand that. I’ve also read that it’s one of the few surprises new parents can keep for themselves.” Kakashi nods, “Yes, exactly!”

“But I assume that Shizukana-san doesn’t understand your position?”

He groans. “She started sobbing that I was taking the joy out of her pregnancy, that she should be allowed to find happiness wherever she wants it. And I do agree, it’s her body and such, but it’s also my child and we’ve decided to do this together and… and I just want this one thing, and it feels so small compared to everything else.”

“That seems like a fair argument to me. But, Shizukana-san is also from a civilian family, yes? They’re quite traditional?”

Wince. He met them exactly once, three weeks ago, for all of five minutes before they kicked him out for “spoiling” their daughter. “To say the least,” he murmurs.

“I would think that what you’re asking for is indeed quite a small deal,” Iruka says. “I also understand that Shizukana-san also wants to run this pregnancy her way, the way she always assumed she would be able to do so. And if that means finding out the gender—”

“Sex. Gender isn’t…”

Iruka nods. “Right, sex. The sex of the baby. Then, she should be allowed to know, I would think. It’s tricky when you don’t agree,” he hums thoughtfully. 

A tapping at the window stops Kakashi from responding, and he looks up to see an ANBU waiting there with a scroll in hand. He freezes, pales; he can’t take another mission today, not when he’s supposed to go to the appointment with Shizukana this afternoon. The ANBU steps in through the window and nods to him, and Kakashi makes to stand up; but beside him, Iruka stiffens.

“Again?”

The ANBU seems to droop a little. “I’m sorry, sensei. But yes, the Hokage is requesting your skills on a mission.”

Iruka? He’s supposed to remain in the village, a teacher; he’s not supposed to go on assignment anymore.

“How long?”

“I was not privy to that information. You need to speak with Sandaime.”

Iruka groans. “No, how long do I have before I need to report? I can’t leave the Desk unmanned and I don’t get a second person here for another hour at least.”

“Sandaime said immediately. Leave whatever you were doing. I’ll shut down the Desk.”

He frowns and turns to Kakashi. “Duty calls. I’m sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.”

“You were plenty helpful,” Kakashi assures him. “I thought you weren’t active anymore though?”

“I have… a very specific skillset,” Iruka blushes lightly. “I get sent out a lot more than you’d think, even after my discussion with Sandaime about not being cut out for field work. Hopefully it’ll stop once I get assigned my own class in April.”

They both stand up together and head to the door, trading places with the ANBU, who begins working to shut down the Desk for the hour or so until the next worker comes in. They slip out into the hallway, and Iruka turns to head up the stairs three floors to the Hokage’s office.

Kakashi flicks out his hand and grabs Iruka’s shoulder before he slips out of reach. He stops, startled, and turns back around with a confused hum. “What is it?”

They’re too close. His hand is still on Iruka’s shoulder. He can’t seem to stop touching. There’s so much warmth radiating from underneath Iruka’s flak jacket. Iruka’s eyes bore into his own, too honest, too sweet, too—

“Just… be careful. Please.”

Iruka grins. “And you as well.” He doesn’t step away until Kakashi drops his hand, and he smiles all the way until he turns around to go up the stairs. Even over his shoulder, he waves to Kakashi and says, “If I can, I’ll write.”

Kakashi watches him go and feels something ache inside of him, but once he’s out of sight and up the stairs, he turns and leaves to go home to Shizukana and get ready to go to the appointment to see his child’s outline for the first time.

~

Shizukana grins and reaches for his hand as Kakashi sits beside her in the darkened room underneath the hospital. “I’m so glad you can make it this time,” she says excitedly.

He gulps, nods; he hasn’t trusted himself to speak since they entered the prenatal clinic together. The technician squirts some kind of lubricant onto Shizukana’s belly, and Kakashi resists wrinkling his nose at the chemical smell of it. She squeezes his hand and gasps a little, and he lifts his gaze to the screen beside the technician, and—

It’s…

“Oh, there’s your little one,” the technician says. “Twenty-three weeks.”

He narrows his eye a little bit while Shizukana coos at the image. It’s just a black and white outline. It’s moving. Constantly moving, tiny limbs jumping and waving here and there. There’s a bulbous side that should be the head, but it’s so oddly shaped that there’s no way that it’ll be a baby in another seventeen weeks. It looks weird.

What is he supposed to feel right now?

Shizukana is looking at him with growing concern, and Kakashi only has a rising dread that he’s doing this wrong again.

The technician, though, saves him. “It’s a little overwhelming the first time, huh? Here,” she points to the image, “here’s the arms and legs, they’re curved around their tummy, this is the head. These dark spots, those are the eyes, don’t worry about it, it's just the way the machine picks it up. From what I can see initially, the baby looks like they’re developing just fine.”

He looks at it again, carefully, and now, with the technician’s guidance, he can see—it could be, if he turns his head just so and really thinks about it—his child. That’s his baby, flapping their little hand nubs and stretching the pieces of spine that they’ve developed so far. He helped to make that. 

His head kinda feels loose, and his chest is tight, and he blurts out, “It kinda looks like a puppy.”

The tech laughs, the ultrasound wand shaking in her hand, and Shizukana huffs lightly beside him. He looks down at her, wincing, but she is still smiling and holding his hand and he figures that while he might have said something wrong, she still found it somewhat amusing.

“Can we find out the gender of the baby today?” Shizukana asks.

Kakashi starts, “Ah, no thank—”

But the technician goes on, ignoring him completely. “Of course. It’s a boy; congratulations!”

Shizukana lights up upon hearing those words and she turns to him and squeals, “Kakashi-kun! A son!! We’re going to have a son!!”

Kakashi nods, her delight in those words infectious. He still sits there, though, quiet and somber as the technician finishes up with her scan and then gives Shizukana a cloth which she uses to wipe up the excess gel on her stomach. 

Shizukana kisses his cheek, over his mask, as she scurries off to the restroom to relieve herself. The technician smiles at them both, and then once the restroom door is shut, says, “This is your first child then, Hatake-san?”

“Ah, yes.” He doesn’t continue with hopefully the last, too, but it’s a fleeting thought that brushes his mind.

“Would you like a print-out?”

He blinks, confused at first, but the technician is motioning to the screen that has still images of his child’s outline—the sonograms themselves. And the one on the screen shows the entire fetus from head to feet, his son’s little arms curled up under his chin. At this stage of development, a fetus can suck its thumb, can kick and wave its limbs, can hear…

He nods rapidly, and she hands him the print. He holds it reverently in his fingers and touches the line of his son’s forehead. His son. 

He’s going to have a son.

The thought terrifies him, overwhelms him, and yet he can’t help but be excited for the first time since finding out. What will his child call him? Will he be born healthy? Will he be a fighter, like Kakashi; or sweet and charming like his mother? When should Kakashi give him the Hatake summoning contract?

Shizukana comes out of the restroom and stands beside him. He hadn’t even noticed that he had collapsed to sit heavily on the examination bed, still staring at the sonogram. She puts her hand on his shoulder, smiles, and says, “We have a lot to do to get ready, huh?”

Kakashi can only agree. He follows her out, tucking the print away in one of his vest pockets.

~

At the turn of the third trimester, Kakashi and Shizukana formally move into their new house together, and Shizukana is confused why there are three bedrooms being made up instead of just two. Kakashi has the movers put her things in the master bedroom, one with an ensuite bathroom and two large walk-in closets; but his own personal effects, he has the movers place in the bedroom at the other end of the house, down the hallway and just nextdoor to what will become his son’s nursery. 

She pulls him aside, out onto the back porch for privacy, and quietly asks him, “Why are you not putting your things in the master bedroom?”

Kakashi just blinks, also suddenly confused. “I… figured that it would be kinder for you to have the larger space, given that we’ve already discussed your desire to remain home to raise the child until they—he, sorry—is old enough to attend the Academy.”

Shizukana frowns, crosses her arms. “You don’t want to share a room with me?”

He takes a single step backwards. “I’m not… I can’t. I can’t share a bed with someone else.” The last time he’d tried, Gai had nearly taken a kunai to the throat for daring to roll over and put his arm over Kakashi’s waist; and that instance of bed-sharing had been purely platonic. If he were to share with Shizukana…

Her face falls, the frown slipping from one of anger-upset to one of rejection. “You think I’m gross and ugly like this, don’t you? Bloated and fat and swollen like a-a—”

“No! No, not at all,” Kakashi hurries to reassure her, as the first wave of tears collect in her eyes. “I mean. No. No, Shizu-chan, you’re not gross or ugly. You’re pregnant, and you have a lot of strange hormones right now and it’s normal to feel this range of emotion—”

Shizukana cries softly, covering her face in her palms, “My child’s father doesn’t even want to touch me anymore, I’m a whale.”

He sighs and takes her wrists and pulls her hands away from her face as he finishes, “But it’s not alright for you to put yourself down like this. You are bigger than you once were—because you are carrying our child, and there are physiological changes that come with that, but those changes don’t have to stay forever. And regardless of how you look, you are creating life within you, the next generation to inherit the Will of Fire, and that is something to be proud of, not to put yourself down about.”

She sniffles and tries to smile, but through her hiccupping tears, says, “You still don’t want to share a bed with me, though?”

Kakashi drops their hands slowly and steps back again, runs his fingers through his hair, and says, “I have… I have hurt bed partners in the past. I would never forgive myself if I… while I was asleep…”

She wipes her face with the back of her hand and nods. “Okay. I understand. But… maybe someday?”

Kakashi holds back the groan, and instead allows her to believe, “Maybe.” What damage can hope do, anyway? 

They go back inside together and continue managing the movers.

~

Gai returns to Konoha with his team, battered, bruised, but alive, almost a month after they were due. Kakashi very nearly gives in to his urge to go and find his room in the hospital and never ever leave it for the fear that Gai might leave again and then not return at all. He does eventually go and meet with Gai when he gets news that he’s back on the jonin rotation.

By now, most of the Village has been made aware that Hatake Kakashi has impregnated a girl and is living with her. But most people don’t broadcast that they know because Sandaime has made it quite clear that this sort of information is the type to attract kidnappers, and so the Village is on an information diet, of sorts.

Kakashi slips into the jōnin  standby station to see Gai in the middle of writing out a report of some kind. There’s no one else in the room, which means that either no one else showed up for duty or they’ve all responded to calls around the village already and Gai is the only one left. 

“Ah, Kakashi! It’s good to see you!” 

Kakashi just nods in return. “You were out for a long time. Can I ask if everything went well in the end?”

Gai’s face darkens. “Two of my teammates were taken, and neither my last teammate nor myself could seem to infiltrate the enemy’s defenses to get them back. We had to wait for an extraction team to meet us and then go to bring them out.”

“But the team came and your teammates were freed, yes?” Kakashi asks, sitting down beside Gai.

He chuckles, and there’s no humor in his voice. “Konoha sent us one ninja, and I’ll admit I had my doubts that they would succeed. But all five of us made it home, and our original mission is complete.”

Kakashi wonders who Sandaime could have sent. Solo operatives are rare, especially within infiltration fields.

“But enough about me! What have you been getting up to?” Gai asks, brightening with each word. 

Kakashi toys with the idea of telling him now, when he’s still clearly reeling from the self-imposed shame of having to rely on an extractor to get his team out of a bad situation. But ultimately, this is what he came to tell Gai in the first place. So, he takes a deep breath and says, “I’m going to have a son. He’s due at the end of May.”

Gai watches him with narrowed eyes for a moment, and then Kakashi watches as his face blooms with glee and he bursts out, “MY DEAREST RIVAL MY HEART OVERFLOWS WITH HOT BLOODED JOY AT THE NEWS OF YOUR IMPENDING FATHERHOOD!! THERE IS NO BETTER CAUSE THAN TO SHEPHERD THE NEW GENERATION OF YOUTH THROUGH CHILDREN!!”

He grasps Kakashi in a tight, full-bodied embrace and Kakashi can feel the life squeezing out of his good eye as he wheezes, “Gai, Gai put me down please—”

“I AM SO OVERCOME WITH JOY AND HAPPINESS FOR YOU.”

“Yes, well, can you be overcome and still not crush my rib cage, please?”

Gai sets him down quickly, and then starts going off about The Future and Youth and asking when he will meet the sweet dear lady who has swept his Dear Rival into agreeing to fatherhood. The longer Gai goes on, the more Kakashi’s anxiety rises, until he’s just short of being a shaking mess in the station.

That, of course, is when Gai finally stops and studies Kakashi’s downward gaze and asks, “Kakashi, is this… this coming child of yours… is this not a Good Thing?”

To that, Kakashi can only shrug. “It’s a thing that I’ve accepted is happening, but that I otherwise cannot seem to get myself excited for. If that makes sense.”

Gai turns thoughtful and hums. “Ah. That would make accepting other’s excitement also quite difficult.”

Kakashi nods. “Tenzō—I’ve had you meet Tenzō, right?—was also cautiously excited for it when I told him. You would have been the first to know,” Kakashi admits sheepishly, “but you were on that mission. So I’m sorry, but you are the last to know.”

Gai waves him off. “I’m just so proud to be among those you consider close enough to be told directly. And I truly cannot wait to meet your son! Do you and your—er, wife? Girlfriend? Partner?”

Kakashi gulps. “Friend, for now. Just friend.”

“Friend! Do the two of you have ideas for names yet?”

“No, no, I… not yet. I haven’t even thought to ask, actually. I’ll… I should go and do that soon. Tonight. Now, if possible.”

Gai gives him a bright, blinding grin. “When you’ve decided upon a name, please let me know! I would love to find your son something personalized, with his name inscribed on it.”

Kakashi smiles softly and nods. “That… that sounds wonderful. Thank you. When we’ve decided on a name, you’ll be the first to know.”

~

It’s late, well past the time when Shizukana should have fallen fast asleep, when Kakashi is awoken by a soft creak of his floorboards and the door to his bedroom clicking open. He sits up in bed and turns on his bedside lamp, sees Shizukana shyly standing in his doorway, twisting her nightgown in her fingers.

Of all the things the prenatal books and appointments prepared him for, this wasn’t one of them. The cravings he can work with, he doesn’t mind fetching her weird foods and hunting down pickled asparagus at all hours. Swollen ankles and feet he’s happy to rub for her; he’s bought her expensive pillows and lotions for her stretch marks that she asked him for. 

But she stands in his doorway at night now, biting her lip and whining, “Please, please, Kakashi-kun,” and the increased sex drive throws him completely. He doesn’t know how to handle this.

The first time it happened, three days after they moved in together, he offered to buy her any toys or “aids” she’d like, and she broke down sobbing about how hideous she was and how the father of her child couldn’t even bear to touch her. He ended up giving in that first night, as he has for many subsequent nights, hurriedly backtracking and swearing that she wasn’t hideous and it wasn’t that he couldn’t… 

Gods, it was just that he didn’t want to.

But how do you say that to the woman carrying your child, whom you’ve agreed to co-parent, and even cohabitate with?

It’s not fair to her, and it’s not hard to satisfy her, not really. Sometimes she’s plenty happy with just his fingers taking her apart slow and steady. Sometimes she asks him to eat her out and he does, though he goes through the motions much more efficiently. 

Tonight, like a few other nights recently, he lets her climb into his lap and she’s heavy and swollen but her moans are sweet and her cunt is warm and wet as she rocks against him until he has little choice but to react and get hard. She very nearly screams when she finally gets his cock seated inside of her, and she doesn’t really have the leverage to be able to bounce but he gives her a little ride by thrusting his hips gently in time with her rolling her hips back and forth.

“So good, Kakashi, your cock is wonderful, feels so good—”

Kakashi holds her hips tight while she shakes apart on top of him and it feels amazing but it’s not… 

He bucks his hips up a few times and groans tightly, hoping that it’s true that she likely won’t be able to tell that he just faked his orgasm, already feeling his dick start to go limp now that she’s dismounted and happily curled up against his chest.

To the quiet room, Kakashi asks, “Have you been thinking of names?”

Shizukana hums and smiles against his pec. “I have. I was thinking of Ren.”

Kakashi stiffens for a half second, almost positive that she just said—but no, Ren. Ren is… “How would you write that?”

“‘A Pure Heart’,” Shizukana sighs. “I’ve always found it lovely. What do you think?” Kakashi thinks about it a bit. Hatake Ren sounds nice; maybe it doesn’t have the same ring as his own name, but it’s… sweet. “I agree,” he says. “Ren is nice.” He slides out from underneath her and rolls over so he’s hovering over her belly and whispers into her skin, “Ren?”

He gets a kick in the cheek for his trouble. Both he and Shizukana chuckle. 

He says it again, this time in an almost playful voice, “Ren.”

He gets kicked twice for that one. Almost like his son is trying to tell him to let him sleep. Kakashi crawls his way back up to the pillows and lets Shizukana curl up against him and fall back asleep.

~

Kakashi waits patiently for Iruka’s letters, but they never come. He must be in deep cover, and Kakashi tries to not worry so much because he knows that Iruka must be very competent indeed to be personally requested by Sandaime for missions. And yet, he can’t help but check in with the hospital, with the Gates, the Mission Desk, with anyone who could possibly give him information and updates on Iruka’s status.

He’s strolling the Village with one week to go before Ren’s due date when the tiny Otter-masked ANBU flickers into place beside him. “Umino-sensei reported in,” they say quietly. “Hospital, room 417. Be discreet; no one outside of his care team is supposed to know, but he asked for you.”

Kakashi nods subtly, and when Otter flickers away he tucks his book back in his pouch and flies to the hospital. It takes him a few minutes to find the window for room 417, but once he does he walks up the side of the wall and taps on the window before letting himself in. He hopes Otter wasn’t lying when they said that Iruka had asked for him…

Iruka is hooked up to fluids and a heart monitor, dressed in hospital scrubs with his hair down around his shoulders. He’s sitting upright in bed writing a report with his nondominant hand, as his left arm is the one with the IV in it. He looks up when Kakashi enters the room and closes the window, and smiles, although the smile itself is weak.

“You came,” Iruka says softly, and Kakashi can hear the strain in his voice. 

“Otter came to find me. Are you alright?”

Iruka shrugs. “I could be better. I didn’t need extraction at least, but I wasn’t able to get all the information I was required to collect before having to exit.”

“Do you… do this kind of mission often?”

“Not often. I won’t be required to go back into that group for quite some time, even with my skillset.” 

“What… happened? To your voice?”

Iruka flushes. “I’d rather not say,” he murmurs. “Suffice to say, ah, lots of screaming.”

Kakashi feels a wave of rage rise in his chest, but he tamps it down quickly. He goes and sits beside Iruka’s bed. Iruka rolls up the mission report he had been working on—high-clearance, then.

“Oh, I… how was the scan? How is the baby? Shizukana-chan has… ah, two more weeks, right?”

Kakashi brightens, opens his pocket and pulls out the sonogram print he’s kept clean and neat since he got it months ago. “One week, actually,” he says. “Practically any day now.”

Iruka takes the picture and grins as he studies it. “They’re gonna be beautiful, Kakashi-san, I know it.”

“Ren,” Kakashi says. “His name is going to be Ren.”

“Oh!” Iruka clears his throat and reaches for the water on the bedside table. Kakashi helps him, makes sure he doesn’t bend his left elbow too much to keep from aggravating the IV needle, and then sets the cup back down when Iruka’s down with it. “You decided to find out the sex after all?”

Kakashi feels everything begin to dim as he remembers how he was completely ignored during the scan, the days leading up to it, how he’d wanted it to remain a surprise. “Shizukana really wanted to know, and it’s not like she could just keep that kind of information to herself…”

Iruka is quiet, staring at him for a long time, long enough that it starts to feel uncomfortable, until he finally grits out, “And you’re okay with it?”

“I… well, it’s not like I can change it. Time-travel jutsu are messy at best and forbidden for a reason,” he chuckles, trying to make a joke.

Iruka doesn’t laugh.

He does sigh, and then he says, “Ren. Hatake Ren?” 

Kakashi nods. 

And then Iruka gives him a small smile. “He’s healthy, as far as the scans can tell?”

“Yes, and he kicks all the time and he moves and rolls and,” Kakashi pulls out another print from his pocket, “look. The technician managed to get one of him sucking his thumb.”

Iruka looks on and his smile broadens. “I can’t wait to meet him. Please, let me know when you and Shizukana-san are ready for visitors. I’m more than willing to babysit whenever the two of you need it as well. I can’t cook for shit, but I used to spend a lot of my free time in the infant and toddler rooms in the orphanage when I stayed there after the Kyūbi attack.”

Kakashi nods. “Thank you, so much. It’ll be nice for him to know his teacher so well from such a young age.”

“Or it’ll be a curse,” Iruka chuckles softly, “and he’ll be a horrible menace in my class.”

~

His son comes in the middle of the night, a new moon, and he’s quiet like his mother with a cap of silver fuzz like his father. Ren is tiny when the midwife gives him to Kakashi to hold—he can hold his son in one arm, gods, he’s perfect—and Shizukana looks so happy and peaceful when he gives Ren to her so she can feed him.

Ren grizzles like any other infant, the midwife assures him, but doesn’t much cry. When he’s done taking his first feed, one of the assistants shows Kakashi how to put a diaper on the newborn to keep him from shitting everywhere, and how to swaddle Ren properly, tight but not too tight.

Shizukana passes out, exhausted from the labor and the breastfeeding. Kakashi paces the room with his son in his arms until the sun comes up and thinks to himself, this is what bliss is. 

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Tips appreciated 💛

[that-was-anticlimactic]

Hey Corey I have a question, how did you and Grace do that friends to lovers thing and how do I do it. Please I need advice how do you do the wlw thing

yes, hi my beloved! idk why i forgot to respond to this, so jeg siger undskyld that this is a late response iogcfgvhjiiuhgfcuytrtdf

um. so like. the answer is my internet friend shannon literally forced me to confess to grace. like. not even kidding - my confession was read straight from my phone. it was a message that shannon sent me of what to say. i didn't even look at grace because i was so nervous iuygfgvhoiuhygtfcvgh i also tell shannon like everything, so shannon got every update on our relationship and feelings from my pov and then was like "okay just talk about this" like i'm not kidding we'd still prolly be pining / trying not to have a crush on each other if shannon hadn't forced me to say something haha

so ig what i'm saying is find someone who forces you to talk <3

[thewritingginger]

Obey Me! Brothers React: Baby?!?

This is a VERY old request that I actually found I had when scrolling through my blog lol

I liked it so much so I did the thing. It also gives some fluff between all the sin I have in my WIPs 

Enjoy~

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucifer:

Probably the calmest out of the bunch

“Are you okay?” “I’m prepared to take responsibility and make sure you’re happy.”

Makes sure you have your doctor appointments and goes with you

Very attentive to your needs

Over all he is pretty organized and prepared . . . on the outside

On the inside he’s a bit of a hoverer, but never too obvious. Just kinda stands to the side and observes,”just in case” you are carrying precious cargo afterall

Also he won't say it outloud but seeing your growing belly makes his pride shine the most and very territorial of you more than usual You are his and everyone will know

Kinda low-key didn’t not-not try to impregnate you but you didn’t hear that from me…

You and lucifer ended up having a Baby Boy Great another boy in the house

“Am I just destined to be surrounded by boys my whole life?” “I can always try to give you a girl. Just tell me when.” 😉

Yeah you’ll probably wait a year or two to actually plain for another baby, that is if Lucifer doesn’t “if it happens it happens”you again and BOOM baby #2 smh

Not as strict as one may think when thinking of Lucifer’s parenting style

Mammon definitely has something to say about that 

Does like to try and keep to a daily schedule of when they not just eat and sleep but also scheduled play and study time when they get to that age

Mammon:

He may need an ambulance

JK but he is a bit of a nervous wreck

Wait till he finds how birth works

But after the initial shock he is still worried about you

Maybe a bit overbearing

“Mammon, I can walk! I’m pregnant, not crippled.” “What? I can’t carry you around for no reason now?”

You end up having a Baby Girl

Cue panic mode!

Must protect baby girl at all costs Daddy mode engaged!

“My Love, you don’t have to watch her all night. She’ll be fine.” “I don’t know that!”

That dad that gets upsetty spaghetti if a “snot-nosed brat” messes with his perfect daughter on the playground

Leviathan:

Levi.exe has stopped working

Try turning off and turning on and try again later

Wasn’t ready for you to say it

I mean sure you guys do do the do, bUt hOw?!?!?

“Can we go back?” “Levi this isn’t a video game level.”

Don’t get him wrong he’s not mad just scared!

He’ll get into it after he has time to process it 

“I guess it would be nice to have another player when your busy.”

Started “practicing” with a life simulator game

You and Levi had a baby boy!

Games galore! 

When your little boy is still a baby obviously he can’t play video games with Levi but Levi has surprisingly really liked playing peek-a-boo

You do find Levi with your son on his chest as he plays video games most of the time when he’s watching him 

Satan:

Is about tied with Lucifer on the calm factor

Actually knew before you told him

“How the heck did you know, I just told you.” “Your period was late.”

Read all the books he can find on parenting and newborns in both humans and demons

You kinda wished he didn’t read so much because it went from ‘just wanting to cover all bases’ to being a bit of a worry wart and always “helping” you and “informing” you

Can you say Papa Bear!!! VERY protective!!!

Will damn near bite someone's head off if they bump into you especially w/o apologizing

Reads and/or plays music for the baby every night

“They say they can start to hear and recognize things in the womb at about 18-24 weeks. I have so many books I’d want to show them so might as well start early.”

Finds himself talking to and kississing your belly when your asleep late at night

“I promise I’m gonna make sure I’m the best Dad for you!”

Does touch your belly though everytime he kisses you

You and Satan had a Baby Girl

Truely a Daddy’s girl! She definitely has him wrapped around her little finger

He denies it but it’s true lol

Checks under the bed for “the scaries” every time she asks 

“You know Daddy will always protect you!”

Obviously the one to teach her to read and write. Making sure they get at least 30 mins of reading time together where they take turns

You’ve walking into the library many times to see Satan laying on the couch with your daughter on his chest, both asleep

At some point he finally admitted to you that he’s scared to “let her go”

He wants his baby girl to be his baby forever but he knows sadly she has to grow up but he hopes that when that happens they still have their book discussions and reading time together

It’s how he bonds with her the most.

Okay. Okay. I’ll stop cuz we should know I love Daddy Satan so I’ll stop before i get out of hand lol

Asmodeus:

OMG A NEW DOLL TO DRESS UP!!!

Ok but really he is excited

“With my charm and your cuteness, this child is gonna be the most sought after person in devildom.”

The day you told him he started preparing their room. Filling the room with bins of stuffed animals and toys

And clothes. Lots and lots of clothes.

“Asmo we don’t even know the gender yet.” “That’s ok! What ever we don’t use I guess we’ll just have to make another for those.”

He is gonna be in for a rude awakening literally when the baby comes

Say goodbye to your beauty sleep Asmo 

You and Asmo had a Baby Girl

When he found out you were having a girl, demon lord help this new doll baby

Dress up everyday 

Loves parading her around in his arms or the stroller

“Excuse me, Princess coming through!” 

Beelzebub:

Telling him you were pregnant made him really happy!!!

“I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.” “You’ll be the best mother.”

Of course he was nervous but he had you and you always knew how to make him feel better

And when the stress of the actual baby came up he just focused on what he did know

Snacks. Snacks. & more Snacks!!!

Your pregnancy cravings were arguably the easiest part of your pregnancy for him because he was always down to go get them for you it also gave him an excuse to get more snacks for himself too and he got to try all your favorite snacks and weird concoctions you’d want.

You and Beel had surprise, surprise. Twins!!!! Fraternal Twins to be exact, a boy and a girl

One baby was scary enough but, multiply it by two!?!? Oh nelly.

But Beel really has a way to calm you.

Divide and conquer is your modo

He’ll bathe and clothe them and you feed them Beel has helped with the feeding but somehow the food seems to disappear rather fast and the rest you share and tag in and out of

Belphegor:

Baby?!?!?

I’m sorry. He must have heard you wrong.

Maybe he is still asleep and this is a dream

But nope. It’s not! You are tellin his face that he had accidentally put a … baby… inside you…

“Are you really pregnant?” “Yup” “I’m telling you right now I’m getting rid of it if it interferes with my sleep.”

Yeah… that didn’t happen :)

He lost sleep, yes. But although annoyed he was even shocked with how attached?!? He was to the child

Oh you had a boy!

You thanked the heavens for not “gifting” you with twins

A plus is your little boy takes after his father when it comes to sleep

Altho he’s still a baby so restless nights are still very much in your future 

Belphie gifted him his very own special pillow :3 He was sick of his kid stealing/hogging his

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I kinda went into them as parents bit oops  I got too excited lol

Maybe I can do more Daddy AUs in the future if that’d interest anyone.

I hope you enjoyed reading this, I really liked writing it.  I can’t be the only one obviously that really likes Daddy AUs :3

I love the fluff and I hope you do too :D

~ Undateables Reactions ~

💛 ~

[neon-junkie]

Injury

Summary: Mando is injured, so you help patch him up. Whilst you’re busy helping him, you don’t realize your arm has been accidentally rubbing over his crotch this whole time. You’re not going to let the poor guy suffer even more, are you?

Pairing: Mando/Din x gn!Reader

Word Count: 2063

Rating: NSFW

Warnings: Mention of minor blood/gore. Mentions of stitching up a wound. Tags: Nsfw, Smut, Wounds. Handjobs, Teasing, Dirty talk, Dirty thoughts, Friends to lovers

Notes: I may do another chapter if anybody asks for it. Also, the beby is sleeping in his pod for the whole of this, you haven’t managed to lose him lol :p

You were so thankful it wasn't a face injury. So. So. Thankful. Mando had been so pedantic the last time he was injured. He would literally rather die than take off his helmet, and he almost did. But this time it was his waist, so he was willingly accepting your help.

Mando was lying down in the entrance of his ship, barely making it up the ramp as he squirmed about in pain. Whatever hurt him was gone, so at least you two weren't in any more danger. You quickly shut the ship's door before grabbing your medical kit and kneeling down beside him. He had already accepted your help without either of you two saying a word. You just opened the kit up and started working on him.

You unclipped his armor, placing it aside as you lifted his shirt. His injury was a large deep gash going from the middle of his rib, down to his bellybutton. It was enough to make anybody cry. You could hear him panting and hissing from under his helmet, keeping his head back as he tried not to watch you work away on him. You focused on disinfecting him, then spraying him and trying to stick his wound back together.

Mando hissed and whined under his helmet, keeping his head flat on the floor. His hands tensed and twitched, clenching into fists as you patched him back together.

You had no idea that this whole time you'd been lent over him, your arm had been lightly brushing over his crotch. It must have been small enough for you not to notice, but Mando's senses were heightened now he was in pain and had picked up on the small accidental contact.

As his wound got better, and he calmed down, you began to untense and subconsciously pay more attention to your surroundings. That's when you noticed your arm just accidentally rubbed over his crotch. For a split second, you wanted to apologize but realized how weird that'd sound, especially in this situation.

You brushed it off and continued to work. The end was getting near, and Mando already seemed a lot better. Thank the Maker for antibiotics. But it happened again. Oops. You couldn't help that the angle was weird, but shame on Mando for getting injured in a weird place and deciding to collapse on the floor rather than a table where you could help him without coming into unnecessary contact with him.

However. you noticed that he'd let out a really soft, really quiet moan within his hoard of hisses and gasps. It was a moan, wasn't it? As in a sexual moan? Hmm. There was no harm in just testing it out to see if Mando really was getting some kind of attention whilst you were simply trying to help him out. So you did it, you lightly brushed your arm over his crotch again whilst wiping up some blood that had dribbled down his side opposite to you.

And there it was again. Another soft moan; Slightly gaspy, clearly horny.

You knew this man must get no attention at all if something as small as that was starting to get him hard. And yes, his crotch did feel ever so slightly harder this time.

You were almost done with patching him up, and gosh did you feel bad for him. Poor guy devoting his whole life to the ways of the Mandalorians, to not have any physical attention and get beaten up on the daily. Poor bastard. Would he ever let you though? Would he allow you to see an intimate part of him? Maybe play around with him? Maybe let him fuck you? Surely he must be tired of always getting himself off? Could he really deny someone in his time of need?

So you rubbed against him again, but this time slightly harder and you kept your arm there. It was lightly held over his semi-hard crotch, and he was surely aware of the contact.

Mando seemed to freeze, still hissing and whining a bit, but his body had tensed up and he was clearly trying not to move, despite the urge to squirm in pain. You could see his gloved hand trying to grip onto the floor. He must have thought you hadn't noticed. He must think this was clearly accidental and you were innocently trying to help heal him whilst he was beginning to get off on the small contact.

"I'm almost done," you tell him, taking your time to clean up the wound and its surrounding area.

That's when you felt him ever so slightly rut up against you, giving his hips a roll to lightly grind against your arm. You didn't react, pretending like you didn't know.

You pressed down on his wound ever so slightly too hard, completely accidental, which made him hiss and instinctively grab your thigh.

"Sorry.." he said instantly, moving his hand off you and placing it back on the floor. "It's alright," you reply. "Natural reaction," you say as you continue cleaning him up, totally not subtly talking about his obvious bulge.

You brushed your arm over him again, and this time it was obvious that you were aware of his hard-on. Mando's sigh this time came from behind gritted teeth, trying not to let it slip out. You stuck a large bandaid over his chest after wiping all the blood away.

"Done," you tell him, sitting up on your knees and looking down at him. "Thank you," he replies. You pause for a second, seeing if he'll follow up with anything. He didn't. "Is there anything else you need help with?" you ask him. Mando looked up at you. If his helmet was off, you were sure he would be looking both confused, scared, and aroused. "Uh.." "Anything?" you ask again whilst batting your eyelashes. Mando was definitely a shy one. "I.. Erm.." you heard him stutter. "Your wound wasn't that hard to fix," you flirt as you forwardly rub your hand over his very obvious hard-on.

Mando's head dropped back and you felt his hips push upwards against you. "I didn't mean to.. I can't help it," he apologizes. You watch his hands repeatedly clench open and closed. "Like I said earlier, natural reaction." "Your arm kept accidentally brushing over me and I jus- wait. You knew?" he cuts off, looking up at you again. "I didn't at first, but I picked up on it eventually, so I carried on." "You tease! Coming onto me when I'm injured!" he sighs as you brush over him again. "I can stop?" you half-ask, half-threaten. "No! No. Uh. I like it," he almost cuts you off, shying away at the end of his response. "Hm, I'm sure you'll like what I'm gonna do to you," you tease. "Mhm? Go on."

After giving his bulge a press, you reach down to unzip his pants, leaning forward on your knees. Almost instantly, his solid length flops out of his unzipped pants. You couldn't help but smirk; you knew he'd be big. He was a good few inches in length, not too big to the point it'd hurt, but not small, and my gosh was he thick.

You reached forward and took him in your hand. Taking your time, you slowly pumped up and down his shaft, realizing just how big this Mandalorian was. You could hear Mando breathing heavily. He went to prop himself up on his elbows to watch but gasped at the pain. You shooed him back down and told him to just enjoy the ride.

Feeling like you'd teased him enough with your long, slow thrusts, you pick up the pace, enjoying the way his body reacted. He was clearly trying not to over-react, his body going tense. One of his hands came up to grip at his shirt, his moans getting louder through the drone of his helmet.

You would give anything to take that stupid thing off and see his face. To watch how he reacted to every little move you pulled. To maybe even make direct eye contact with him as you climbed on top and rode him.

"I should get injured more often," he says, head still looking upwards, spare hand sprawled out on the floor. "And whys that?" you ask, acting oblivious to the reason. "If it means I'll get attention like this, then I'll allow myself to get injured any day." "No, Mando. I don't want you getting anymore hurt." "Hmh," he grunts.

You knew he was somewhat sulking right now, so you decided to prop yourself up on your free elbow, and dip your head down to gently suck at his balls whilst you continued to toss him off. Slowly sucking the one, then moving to the other, somewhat struggling to find them as they were fiddly to get a grip of. Mando choked on a moan as he felt the wetness of your tongue press against him. He reached one of his hands forward to grip comfortably at your thigh, giving it a squeeze every time you switched from one ball to the other.

"Let me fuck you," Mando sighs in possibly the sexiest tone you've ever heard, despite the drone of his helmet. "I can't let you do that," you flirtingly reply. "Yes, you can." "You'll end up ripping your stitches!" "Just ride me then?" "No, Mando," you begrudgingly reply. "You'll hurt yourself even more. Just wait until you're healed, then you can fuck me as much as you want." Mando moaned at your response, bucking up into your hand and rolling his head backward. You were sure if he wasn't so polite, he'd be asking you for a blowjob right now, but the stiffness of his cock suggested he wasn't going to last very long anyway.

"So, are you going to cum for me?" you politely ask him, your lips still pressed against his balls. "Oh, stars. Yes. Oh, I will," Mando sighs as he grips onto his shirt harder. Mando looked upwards at just the right time, to see you licking a long, slow line up the base of his shaft. "Fuck," was all he managed to choke out before cumming over his stomach, closely missing his patched-up wound. You milked him for all he was worth, continuing to pump his shaft a few times as he rode his high. He gripped hard onto your thigh, his hips bucking upwards uncontrollably as he sighed and panted.

"Shit." Was all Mando managed to say. You took a cloth out from your medical kit and wiped him down, tucking him away and also checking on his wound to make sure he hadn't ruined all your hard work. You weren't surprised he didn't last long; Poor guy probably only found time every now and again to sort himself out.

Mando's hand stayed on your thigh, softly keeping hold of you as he watched you clean him up. He thanked you, before slowly sitting up, his hand lightly clutching onto his wound for support. "Sleep," you softly ordered him, offering a hand as you stood up. He accepted, letting you slowly pull him up before helping him over to his pit of a bed.

"I'll drive, you rest," you told him as you sat him down, his legs off the edge. "Yes, of course," he sarcastically replied. For once, he wasn't being stubborn. You turned to walk away, but his other hand quickly reached out and took hold of yours, pulling you back over. The two of you paused, looking at each other. "Thank you," he finally said. You smiled. Your other hand slowly came up to cup his helmet, resting exactly where his cheek would be. "Don't mention it," you replied, then eventually turned and made your way to the cockpit.

Mando shuffled back into his bed, closing the door from the inside. For once, he felt safe. He slowly took off his helmet, placing it beside him as he laid down. His hands came up to brush his scruffy brunette hair that had stuck to his forehead, feeling like his skin could breathe for once. Mando took a few deep breathes, taking his time to process everything, to process you. 'I'm lucky to have them,' was his main thought.

He finally gave in to the heaviness of his eyes, and went to sleep.

[chrisevansgoodgirl]

give me all your venom, i love that shit

summary: i do apologize. no one asked for this...but i accidentally watched assassination nation. okay, it was intentional the first time. but the twenty times after that while i was writing this were accidental. anyway...smut stuff. webcam smut with love of my life Andrew Barber.

warnings: cheating. age gap. andy gets a little dark. this is prob as dark as i would ever write this perfect, beautiful man. a million and one pet names also.

word count: around 11,100 lol oops

pairing: andy barber  x reader

a/n: so yes, age gap. it’s unclear what that is. go ahead and do what you will. it’s truly none of my business. also...one day, i’ll write in my tags ‘i’m gonna post tonight’ and actually post that night. not 300 nights later!

Laurie was a great woman, pretty much the kind of woman that you had always wished your mom would just wake up one day and feel completely compelled to act like. She was always so nice when she spoke to you, even the times you were clearly a little drunk and practically falling out of your tiny skirts.

She chalked it up to youth, so you’d once been told. That was huge in the little town you lived in. Mostly, if people saw all the skin you were showing, what they thought of you was clearly written all over their faces.

Laurie just liked talking to you. About anything. Everything. School, friends, boys, the future. This interest that she took in you didn’t end when you stopped babysitting for the Barbers, if anything, it made your conversations warmer. It was evident that the little time she could get with you was precious to her.

Jacob was the sweetest kid in the world. You had been apprehensive when she first called you. One reason only: babysitting boys was the worst. They were little demons and their parents either were blissfully unaware or did know and just didn’t care. You’d seen the same show for several years.

Not Jacob. And definitely not the Barbers. They were all so perfect and well-adjusted. You hadn’t been sure what to make of them those first few months. You had briefly suspected that both Laurie and Andy were total sociopaths who’d spawned another little sociopath. Come to find out, you just actually had such a fucked-up family situation.

Jacob loved playing video games with you, even though you were terrible at them. He never got upset when you made him lose, he just insisted that you needed to practice. Around the time you left, you’d started to get a little decent at them. He also enjoyed coloring and reading, two of your preferred babysitting activities.

Still, he was also an energetic little boy and that meant that he had dragged you outside sometimes to play very distracted versions of soccer, basketball, baseball a few times, and football once. Only once.

You’d both ended up covered in mud, it had been raining that morning but neither of you wanted to be deterred by that. When Laurie found you, she was horrified. Maybe a tad amused, seeing as she needed several pictures of the two of you.

You had wanted to walk home that night, the same thing you did after most shifts. The problem was, they had arrived home a bit later than usual. Laurie first, Andy about 10 minutes later. You didn’t want to walk through the house, so while Laurie was still threatening to hose off Jacob outside, you made your way around to the front porch.

Just as Andy was unlocking the front door.

Andy. He was easily the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes on. Mostly, he was in these perfect god damn suits because he was a lawyer. Other times, he didn’t shy away from tight shirts that clung to his arms and chest, and jeans that did the same for his ass.

The coveted position of babysitting for the perfect, loving Andy and Laurie Baber. It was hilarious that it went to you because you were the only one who hadn’t been desperately trying to get it. All your friends would bend over backward, even though a friend of a friend of a friend, Julia Something, had claimed that Jacob was an utter hellion.

But what it came down to was the fact that Andy looked like he had been made by someone trying to create the perfect human being. Everyone was just looking for a way in and when you got it, no one could believe it. You hadn’t been as serious about babysitting. You liked the families you liked and tended to stick to three to five, but Laurie got your number from one of those mothers. How could you say no?

According to many of your friends, you should have. It was a betrayal, but one they couldn’t be too mad about because only an idiot would turn down an offer like that. They tended to pay generously also, so it took a total of three seconds to decide you were in.

He arched an eyebrow at you. “Back door locked?”

“No, I just didn’t want to walk through the house.”

“Right.” He gave you a once over before turning down to his phone. “Do I even want to know?”

That would officially mark the most words he’d ever said to you in one conversation. Laurie loved you, Jacob claimed that he was never, ever going to allow another babysitter to step inside his house, but Andy hardly even looked at you. That wasn’t uncommon. Most of the dads didn’t care, but those were the families that you didn’t stick with for too long.

“Football,” you explained.

He gave you a surprised look.

“But don’t get your hopes up or anything. Jacob sucks.”

He scoffed.

“Can you grab my bag? It’s just right by the door.”

“Heading home?”

“I should. My parents hate when I work this late, they’ve probably been texting me for the past two hours now.”

“Yeah, one sec.”

He didn’t close the door after him so you could hear Jacob excitedly screaming about his father being home. Andy was a great dad and Jacob idolized him just as much as he idolized Laurie. It was a beautiful family dynamic that sometimes still baffled you. Your family looked much different.

He returned with your bag.

“Thanks.” You took it and turned.

“Y/N!”

You looked back as Laurie was rushing out.

“Oh, don’t walk home, dear. Andy will drive you.”

The look on his face told you that he had not offered and that she hadn’t even run it by him before that moment.

“Oh, no, that’s okay,” you attempted to decline. “Honestly.”

“It’s late and cold.”

“I don’t want to get mud all over the car.” It was an expensive fucking car.

“Nonsense, it’s just a car,” Laurie insisted. “Besides, I paint the house a lot. I’m sure we have a few tarps still. Andy, will you go get one?”

He didn’t need further prompt to disappear inside. Laurie apologized for being late, you told her not to worry about it—more time with Jacob was never a bad thing. She thanked you for everything you did for them and you shyly accepted. She asked about your parents then, and before you had to give an elaborate answer, Andy was back with the tarp.

The drive was awkward.

It had started silent and you tried to hide away in your phone, but apparently, no one felt like texting you in that moment. Prior, your friends had been trying to talk to you nonstop, but wasn’t life just funny like that?

You felt like an idiot just staring out the window. This wasn’t anything you hadn’t seen around a thousand times before; he wasn’t even driving a different way. It looked like you were trying to avoid him and this insane, aggressive part of you just hated to appear weak or caught off guard.

Maybe it was your fault then. You were the one who spoke first and after that, things were just different. “How was work?”

It took him a moment to come up with a reply, and what a reply it was. “Fine. I guess.”

“Cool…” you sighed, clicked your tongue a couple of times, then glanced at him. He was staring forward, eyebrows pulled together, confused. Sure, he’d never taken much of an interest in you, and up to that point, as far as he knew, you’d never taken an interest in him. “What kind of lawyer are you?”

“What kind?”

“Like…a wife kills her husband for all of his money. Where are you in the courtroom?”

He chuckled. “I’m a public defender. I don’t normally get cases like that, unless my boss is trying to get on the good side of some irritating, rich people.”

You hummed. “You like it?”

“I do.”

“Cool.”

“Why all the questions? You want to be a lawyer?”

You snorted. “I was just curious. I don’t really hear you talk about work.”

He didn’t say anything else and you felt shot down in a sense. Most fathers were easy to talk to. They loved to hear their own voice and they loved how you pretended to like to hear every word. Obviously, Andy wasn’t in that group. At least a few of your friends had responded to your texts so it wasn’t terribly awkward. He said goodnight when you climbed out of the car, you said it back and closed the door.

You thought that was that.

After that, any time you babysat, he would drive you home. Laurie didn’t even have to say anything, it was just expected that he would do it. He was the one who spoke on the second drive because you weren’t going to try again. It was just stupid stuff. How you were doing with school. How your family was. How your friends were. How your boyfriend was. Because you had a boyfriend, right? He had asked but you knew that he knew you did, Laurie asked about him a lot. Andy never seemed to be paying attention.

That was how it was for almost a month. Then something just changed. The conversations became something else. He asked you where you wanted to go, you weren’t sure you wanted to leave Massachusetts, but you knew you wanted to put some miles between you and your family. He asked you about the future, where you saw yourself. He told you a little about himself, only what he had wanted his life to look like when he was your age.

He had believed he was going to be a high school history teacher.

It wasn’t weird. You didn’t talk to any of the other fathers like this, but it didn’t feel like something you shouldn’t be doing. He just liked talking to you and he actually wanted to hear what you had to say, what you thought about things.

It was innocent. Even when he started coming home early just to make sure he could drive you home. Even when you started taking your jacket off in the car or crossing your legs and pretending you didn’t notice that your skirt was riding up. Even when he looked at you and you acted like you didn’t see it. Even when you would end up sitting in his car, parked down the street from your house, just talking because he knew you didn’t want to go inside.

Perfectly innocent. For almost six months.

You were walking home from school when you got a text from Jacob. He couldn’t find his science project that you had helped him work on. You could have just told him where it was, but then you wouldn’t get the chance to stop by the Barber house. You showed up and Laurie happily invited you in. It was in the garage, something you pretended to remember after about an hour. Jacob had a play date so when his friend’s parents picked him up, Laurie asked you to stay for coffee.

You did. You wanted to extend your time there because even if he didn’t come home soon, Laurie would tell him you had been there. She would mention you and he would be thinking about you. Which is all you ever really wanted.

But sometimes your plans didn’t really work out. You had been turning down jobs, better-paying jobs, jobs you’d had far longer than the Barbers. They had been friends of your parents, it was how you met them, so typically, word got back to your mother. She felt you were the most irresponsible person in the world and didn’t fail to remind you of those feelings when she sent you seven texts and ordered you to get home.

You didn’t want to deal with the chaos of making her angry by spending any more time trying to see Andy. It was a failed attempt at getting closer to him, and as you were walking down the street, you were almost thankful. What the hell were you doing? Why were you trying to get closer to him? Jacob’s father, Laurie’s husband, your boss. That was it. That was all he could be.

But then, much earlier than you’d ever seen him, he was driving by you. You smiled, waved, but kept going. He was the one who circled back and told you to get in. You didn’t need to be told twice. You wanted to talk anyway, you wanted to tell him what was going on with your mother.

He parked down the street again. It wasn’t dark like it usually was but there was no one around. Everyone was staying warm inside. The heaters were on and you had draped your jacket over your legs. It was freezing but leaving the car was the last thing you wanted to do.

He only spoke when you had finished venting. And it wasn’t in the direction you had thought it would go. “You’ve been turning down jobs?”

Shit. You just shrugged. “A few, I guess.”

“Why?”

“I’m busy.”

“You’ve been around the house a lot more lately,” he pointed out. “Is that how you’ve been so busy lately? With Jacob? With us?”

“I…I just don’t feel like babysitting for them anymore.”

“Because you just want to babysit for us.”

“I don’t know,” you finally said. “I don’t know why I’ve been turning them down.”

“I know.”

You lifted your eyebrows.

He placed his hand on your thigh with absolutely no hesitation.

You couldn’t explain how good his skin felt against yours. Like after running a mile and then finally catching your breath. Or waking up and seeing that you still have hours before your alarm clock goes off. Like when you’re walking down the streets during October and the houses are all decorated. Like when you’re starving and you finally eat something you’ve been craving.

“You want to see me.”

“I like seeing Jacob,” you muttered. You saw his hand move up before you felt it, your breath audibly caught and you shuddered. Pathetic. Weak. Desperate.

“You come over almost every day.”

You turned up to him, trying to keep your voice level. “You come home early every day.”

“I want to see you,” he assured. “Just like you want to see me…right?”

You nodded.

“Because you feel something for me.”

You wanted him, that was the best way to describe it. So fucking bad, so bad you couldn’t think straight sometimes. So bad that when your boyfriend touched you, you nearly got physically sick sometimes. So bad that in your bed, at night, with your hand between your legs, you pictured Andy and no one else.

“And you feel something for me,” you countered.

“I do.”

Before you could respond, his phone was ringing. Laurie, oh god. He saw the look on your face but clearly had no interest in letting those logical emotions—shame, guilt, disgust—grow. “Give me your phone.”

You weren’t sure why you did so. He handed it back to you with a new contact. Under the name: Daddy. You closed your thighs, rubbing them together, catching his fingers where they were still laid over your leg. You were so wet, desperate for some friction.

“You’re going to go inside,” he started. “You’re going to go to your bedroom, strip down, get in front of your mirror, and fuck your fingers. You’re going to watch the whole time. Then, when you can’t take another orgasm, you’re going to send me a picture.”

“Of what?”

“Whatever you want.”

Your mind was reeling. You had never sent naked pictures before, but that was because you knew what would happen if you did. They would get shown to everyone. Andy couldn’t show anyone. Andy wouldn’t show everyone even if he could.

“Okay.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Okay?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

You swallowed thickly. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Give me your panties,” he ordered. “I want to take them home.”

You wondered if he had done this before, if he did it often maybe. But did it matter? At the end of the day, that wasn’t going to make either of you any less terrible than you were being.

But there was just one problem with his request. “I’m not wearing any.”

His eyes dropped down. “You aren’t wearing panties?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“I think you do. Now, you didn’t plan on fucking me tonight. That’s too much too soon. But I am the reason…it wasn’t because you thought my fingers would end up buried in your pussy, not yet… Daddy wants an answer, baby girl.”

Baby girl. Oh, fuck. Instead of speaking again, you spread your thighs and brought your own hand up your skirt. You were soaking, something he could hear when you pressed your fingers down. Which was why you had decided to skip underwear. Any time he was around, in a suit, you were wet.

His hold tightened on your thigh and you let out this small whimper. It was almost deafening in that car.

You pulled your hand back and brought your drenched fingers up to the steering wheel. You just wanted to leave something for him without risking anyone seeing you both in a weird situation.

He leaned forward almost instantly, inhaling as his eyes shut. “Fuck, you smell exactly like I thought you would.” His tongue dipped out just slightly and he licked the slick off the steering wheel, groaning gently. “And you fucking taste…”

Your phone buzzed and you both startled. “Shit.”

Andy sat up, clearing his throat. “Go. Do what I said.”

You went to reach for the door, but he cleared his throat. Oh, god. After what you just did, could you even pretend that you hadn’t surrendered completely? “Yes.”

“Good girl.”

After that, it was all kind of just a blur. You quit babysitting, which was very hard. You really did love Jacob and you were sad for a very long time every moment you remembered that you weren’t going over there to see him. You were never going to that house again, at least that was what you had told yourself.

That meant you didn’t see Andy quite as often, which was probably for the best. But he saw you. Often. Very naked. You sent him nearly hundreds of pictures a month, dozens almost every night. He was never too busy for you and maybe you liked that, maybe that was what made you feel so special. Maybe it was just him, the way he looked at you during those awkward exchanges when your mother dragged you to the grocery store with her and you ran into them. Maybe it was when he would call you even though he was at the office once you got home because he wanted to hear you orgasm. Maybe it was after your boyfriend would drop you off at home—and Andy always knew because you told him, you weren’t going to lie, you had no reason to—and he would ask you if he touched you, if he made you come.

He was your age. Andy was much older. More experienced. He never failed to remind you that that meant he could make you feel so much better. You weren’t sure what you were doing, why you didn’t just break up with him. Security, probably. If Andy ever decided to end this. Whatever it was. At least you wouldn’t be alone.

When Laurie wanted something, she got it. It wasn’t because she was aggressive or just didn’t take no for answer. It was because she was such a good person, how could anyone feel okay disappointing her? You certainly couldn’t.

When she insisted that you come over for dinner, you knew it was wrong. You knew she would rightfully hate you if she knew what you were doing with her husband. You knew she would feel hurt by the both of you, betrayed, outraged, disgusted. But you went anyway, and it wasn’t to flirt with Andy. Sure, you had done that once or twice in the past, but not this time. This time was for Laurie because she missed you. You had quit so suddenly and then it was like you didn’t exist to her at all. You owed her this dinner.

The look on his face when he saw you in the living room told you that he hadn’t been told about this. He looked terrified, worried.

“Look who I ran into this morning!” Laurie called out from the kitchen. She was over the stove stirring some pasta and you were at the table looking at all of Jacob’s drawings he had done in the past few months since you’d last seen him.

You gave him a look. He should know better than anyone why this was something you couldn’t just get out of. He couldn’t be mad at you. And he better not be accusing you of playing with Laurie like this.

He nodded once, just slightly. “Y/N.”

“Mr. Barber,” you returned.

Then nothing, he went upstairs and you returned your undivided attention to Jacob. Around a half-hour later, Laurie had to go upstairs and drag him downstairs, both trying and failing to hide their irritation.

She asked you about the usual after you had all settled in a bit. School was always the start. Laurie told you that school was the most important thing in the world. She had graduated but with a degree that she didn’t utilize. She loved her life, but she had her regrets and she didn’t want you to make the same mistakes.

She moved to family next. You always kept the answers light around Jacob, knowing that Laurie could read between the lines anyway. Your mother joined two different book clubs. Laurie knew that meant she was just trying to avoid your father.

Then your boyfriend. Another thing she wanted you to be careful about. She wasn’t expecting to get pregnant with Jacob when she had. She loved both Andy and Jacob, but she would have loved to hold off for a few years. She told you to take care of yourself first. Take care of your dreams, your future, your body, your identity before you worried about anyone else. Be selfish, be ambitious. She was like a mom; one you never even knew existed outside of television. You often wished she weren’t so nice to you. You knew you didn’t deserve it.

She just wanted to know how he was. How long had you guys been together, again? Right, that was quite a long time, she claimed. Where was he working? The same place still? You felt Andy’s eyes on you the entire time. He hadn’t looked at you for the whole dinner until Laurie mentioned your boyfriend.

Did you know about his politics? She promised it was better to know before it was too late. She knew his parents, knew that they were rather conservative. Everyone there was, though. The chances of finding a perfect man? Well, Andy was already taken.

Had you guys spoken about the future? Not really, not cohesively, but that wasn’t the answer you gave. You knew what he wanted and he pretended that he didn’t know what you wanted, pretended that one day you would just wake up and see it all his way. What does he want to do?

You were thinking about Andy. His hands, his mouth, his beard. You thought about making him mad, jealous. You thought about how he would be short over text and make you send him pictures and videos until he was less angry, then he would call and his voice would be so deep, he would growl orders at you. Fuck. “Yeah…he wants a huge family.”

“Oh.” Laurie nodded, clearly it wasn’t what she wanted to hear. “Well…what do you want?”

“I don’t know.” That wasn’t necessarily a lie, but Andy would give you hell for it later. He told you that was one of the sexiest things about you. That you knew what you wanted. Basically, he just meant it was sexy that you were selfish enough to be getting involved with him.

“Well, just make sure you know before you make any choices that can’t be undone.”

If only someone had given Andy this lecture all the way back. You wondered how things would be if he wasn’t married, if he had never met Laurie, but If he was still here. You wondered what relationship you would have with him.

“You want to stay in Massachusetts?”

You shrugged. Andy wouldn’t let you come later, until you promised you were going to stay. You just had this deep, sinking feeling he wasn’t going to be kind about it either. Good. It had been so long since he was rough with you. Even over text, he was dominant and in total control. He owned you but you were worried he was getting comfortable with that, you worried that he was under the impression that he could be less possessive. Hell no. You were his, undeniably, but only so long as he was going to claim you as his.

“Well, you’re young…the possibilities are endless.”

“Well, I hope you guys break up,” Jacob bluntly stated.

You and Laurie both turned to him with wide-eyed looks. Andy was stunned for a moment, then had to hide his smile by sipping at his beer.

“Jacob,” Laurie scolded. “Don’t say things like that. That was very mean.”

“Well,” he huffed, ‘if she has more time, she can come back to babysit me.”

You scoffed.

He turned to you. “Is it because of him?”

“No, I promise. I’m just…busy.”

“Busy?” He rolled his eyes. “Adults are always “busy”.”

“You know, I think it’s time I put him to sleep,” Laurie scoffed.

“No,” Jacob whined. “I never get to see her anymore!”

Laurie sighed. “Jacob—”

“I’m not going to bed until you promise to come back,” he declared.

“Jacob,” you pleaded.

He crossed his arms over his chest, brow furrowed. “I’ll stay awake forever if I have to.” Then he set his jaw and turned forward. He had never looked more like Andy, where usually, he looked eerily like Laurie.

You really did miss him. Not that you would ever tell Andy, but a part of you did resent him for the fact that you had to quit. It wasn’t all on him, but if he had never let this start, things would still be the same.

Laurie looked completely exasperated and it wasn’t like you didn’t have enough guilt where she was concerned. “Okay, Jacob, if you go to bed, I will try to come back for the summer. You know, I won’t be so busy.” You glanced at Laurie who appeared just as hopeful. “You know, maybe at least a couple of days while you guys are at work.”

“Well, I was going to do this later because I didn’t want you to feel like this was the only reason that I asked you here. We miss you and I just wanted to see you, but…” she glanced at Andy. “I just found out that I’m going to be taking a work trip this summer.”

“Work trip?” you inquired. You weren’t aware that her job would ever require traveling.

“Yeah, just this conference, kind of, for people who work with children. This is the first time we have been invited to it, so it’s really important but I’m just not okay leaving Andy and Jacob alone. Andy’s job…”

“I told you, I could take the summer off,” Andy assured.

Laurie gave him a look. Yeah, that was highly unlikely. Andy wouldn’t know what to do with himself after probably the first three weeks. She faced you. “I don’t want to put any pressure on you. If you can’t come back, we understand. The Rifkins were telling us about your friend, the one who also babysits. Her name is Lily…something?”

Your eyes instinctively went to Andy. He was giving you a knowing look. All your friends would fuck him in a heartbeat. You shouldn’t have cared. If he fucked anyone, you should have had the plan to just walk away. You doubted your ability to do that, unfortunately. And you couldn’t stand the thought of him touching her. Anyone but her.

“I’ll think about it,” you promised Jacob.

He smiled widely. “Okay, I’ll go to bed now. I’m exhausted.”

You smiled.

Laurie took Jacob upstairs after saying goodnight to you. That left you alone with Andy for what you both knew would be just enough time for anything, but you had your limits. Not in the house. Not while Laurie and Jacob were here. You decided it was time to call it a night and he decided he was going to walk you to your car. It was dark after all.

You just rolled your eyes and marched out the front door. You tried to stay in front of him so you could get inside your car first, so he couldn’t grab you or talk to you. You just needed to get out of there, anything that needed to be said would have to wait for that night when he texted you.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t get my kid’s hopes up.”

That was how he wanted to start? You looked back at him; eyebrows lifted. “You mean yours.”

“Jacob misses you—”

“And you?”

He sighed at you. “What do you want me to say?”

“Nothing, just don’t try to use Jacob against me. I will think about it…there are just things…that could go wrong.”

“Like what?”

“You know what, Andy—”

His eyebrows shot up. “What did you call me?”

You crossed your arms, silently staring up at him. Your back faced the driver’s side door, the handle perfectly in your reach if you needed it.

“Baby,” he warned. “Don’t start acting up right now just because you know I can’t do anything about it.”

“I’m not acting up—”

“Then what did you just call me?”

“Nothing,” you muttered. “I’m sorry, I meant to call you daddy.”

He moved closer then, either hand on the car door behind you.

Your eyes widened in sheer panic and you immediately looked around. It was too dark to see anything, and this was Andy Barber. He was a trusted and well-respected man. No one would think anything even if they did walk out and saw this with their own eyes. He was a damn good lawyer and could convince anyone of anything.

It had been months since you spent so much time with him, but even still, the closest the two of you had ever been was in the car. There was an invisible line that neither of you crossed because you never wanted to get caught. It was always so light out, your creepy neighbors would just sit on the porch from sunrise to sunset because they were desperate for anything.

This was different. There was no one around. There was nothing to stop either of you from taking this further than you ever had. This was the extent of your relationship. Stealing moments. Secrets. But he had never touched you, he’d never kissed you. It was all you could think about in that moment.

“What was all of that?” he asked.

“What?”

“All that bullshit? You lied to Laurie.”

You scoffed. “No, actually, I didn’t.”

“Really? That’s what you want to fucking do with your life? Just be some god damn trophy for that boyfriend of yours?”

You shrugged. “I would love to be a trophy.”

He glared. “You’re smart, okay? And you’re interesting—”

“So, instead of being a trophy, I should be a spectacle? I should entertain people—”

“That is not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“That I’m fucking angry.”

“About what?!”

“Him!”

Well, mission accomplished. It wasn’t that you were surprised he felt that way, you just weren’t expecting to hear him say it.

He sighed, turning up. He was probably watching the window to make sure Laurie hadn’t heard anything.

“What are you even angry about?”

“I work with his fucking father.”

“And?” you demanded.

He looked down at you after several seconds of staring at the window. “He always fucking talks about you. He thinks you’re going to marry his son.”

You shrugged. “Maybe I will.”

“Don’t.”

“Why not?” you pressed. “Maybe I fucking will, Andy.”

“He’s an asshole. You tell me all the time. And if you think I’m going to let you—”

“Let me?” you scoffed. “You’re married. You can’t do shit.”

The look he gave you told you that was the last thing you should have said. He grabbed your shoulders and turned you away from him, pushing you into the car door.

“Andy—”

 You were in a tiny pair of shorts, despite how freezing it was that night. That must have been what gave him the idea to smack you, more so your thigh than your ass, but it hurt, nonetheless. You slammed your hands over your mouth to stifle your yelp.

There were times when you thought you were going to die if he didn’t touch you. Obviously, you were always wrong, but you didn’t care. Sometimes, when you would plead to whatever or whoever it was up there, that you just needed him to touch you, just a touch, you would claim you didn’t care how. This worked. Even though it really fucking hurt and the cold air was still stinging your skin, this was what you wanted.

“You know what you need to be calling me, honey.” His hand was at the button of your denim shorts and you panicked.

You tried to catch his wrist, but he was much stronger than you. Before you said a word, he had yanked them open, the zipper too. But no, not now, not here. “Daddy, stop—”

“You still think I can’t do anything?”

“Please, not here—”

His fingers pressed against your stomach and traveled down. You instantly lost your ability to speak or think. When he reached the band of your underwear, he scoffed. “Wearing panties? Why?”

What kind of question was that?

“You’re such a good girl, aren’t you?” he cooed. “Such a sweet girl.”

“Daddy,” you whispered.

“Daddy will stop,” he promised. “But only if you want him to. Do you want daddy to stop?”

“Please.” Yes, please. But also, maybe please, don’t. Please, keep going. Please, touch me more because you never have. Please, touch me where we both want you to so bad.

“Okay, but first, I’m going to check if you’re wet. If you aren’t, fine. If you are, well, you know you’re not supposed to lie to me.”

“I’m not lying,” you promised. “But—”

“Shh, baby.” He pressed his fingers down and you felt like you were dying. Honestly, like your life was on the verge of ending because nothing had ever felt so good and nothing should feel so good.

He didn’t go inside your underwear, of course not. He was always teasing you. Instead, he moved down until he felt the material was damp and made a soft, disapproving sound.

“I wasn’t lying,” you insisted, trying not to move too much. If he thought you were enjoying this too much, he might decide to get cruel.

“So, you want daddy to stop right now?”

You wanted to say yes, you wished you could make yourself. However, you stayed silent because you knew he would stop, you knew he would completely withdraw from you until you were begging him. Mostly, you couldn’t force yourself to want him to stop touching you no matter how wrong you knew it was.

“You know, baby girl, daddy wants something from you.”

You almost promised him anything he wanted but thankfully, forming coherent words was still something beyond you.

“Daddy wants you to come back this summer.”

No. That wasn’t going to happen. You knew now that it couldn’t happen. You knew now that if you were ever in a room with Andy, that both of you would get as close as you possibly could, that you would try to touch in any way that wouldn’t raise concern. And if no one was home? If Jacob was upstairs and you and Andy were downstairs? No, you wouldn’t do that to Laurie. Not in her house.

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

You shook your head. “You know I can’t.”

“All I know is that I don’t like it when you tell me no.”

Which is something he wouldn’t actually know because you had never told him no. This was different. This was about hurting someone who had only ever been good to you. And Jacob—god, Jacob. If you were caught, Laurie would leave Andy and that was the last thing you wanted for Jacob.

“I’m saying no,” you insisted, but your voice was hardly more than a mutter.

He said nothing for several terribly long seconds, then pulled aside your panties and finally touched your pussy.

Your eyes fell shut and you pressed your forehead against the car window. His fingers moved higher until he circled them around your clit and you shuddered. Even biting your lip couldn’t completely muffle the sounds you were making.

He shushed you, a completely patronizing gesture as he was the reason you were being so loud.

“Daddy,” you gasped. “Daddy, please.”

“You want to come on daddy’s fingers?”

You nodded fast. “So bad, daddy.”

“Mm. Well, daddy wants you back, princess.”

“Daddy,” you whined. This couldn’t happen, not now. Where was his fear? Anyone could walk out. Laurie could just glance out the window and see everything.

“Daddy wants to see you back in the house every day. Playing on the floor in your tiny little skirts and your tiny little shirts that you never wear a bra with. Daddy wants to see you biting your lip and pressing your thighs together when you’re watching me, when you think I don’t notice.”

Fuck. You genuinely had thought you were being discreet. He was clearly discreet, however, because you had never noticed that he was watching so closely.

“But more than anything, I want to have you all to myself, baby girl.”

“I…would be babysitting,” you reminded.

“Jacob has a lot of friends. I’ll schedule him some play dates. Say yes.”

“No, daddy, please—”

“Say yes,” he ordered.

“I can’t.”

“I’m not going to let you come until you do.”

The noise you made was a cross between a cry and a whimper, something truly pathetic. He had you scared and he knew it, so he thrust two fingers inside you and when your mouth opened to scream, he wrapped his opposite hand around your neck.

You swore you would come just like that if he didn’t stop. You had dreamt about his hands around your throat. You would try choking yourself when you were making videos for him, but you knew it wasn’t like the real thing. When he would call you, you would always beg choke me, daddy.

His fingers were thick enough to stretch you even though you were dripping. Your mind wandered to his cock. You could feel it against your ass, and even through his pants, you could tell he was big. But it was little more than a theory. You’d never seen his cock because he didn’t send you pictures. Most of your relationship with Andy had been set around your imagination.

He kept you quiet with his hold around your neck, but his fingers fucked into you so hard that the wet sounds echoed down the empty street. If anyone found the two of you, you would be completely humiliated by how evidently desperate you were.

“Daddy,” you gasped when you felt yourself just right there, so close to that edge. Maybe you were biased in the moment in thinking that this was going to be the best orgasm you had ever had. You had toys, Andy had made sure of that, and some of them did the trick. But it was never like this. Close, at times, but only ever when you were making videos for him or talking to him on the phone. It was all Andy, he hadn’t been exaggerating when he was telling you no one else could make you feel so good.

“You close, princess?”

You hummed a confirmation and just like that, he pulled his hand away altogether. The one around your neck was keeping you quiet but your pussy was completely neglected. It was absolutely devastating.

Stupidly, you’d forgotten his grand plan of forcing you to say yes. You weren’t going to, this was so much bigger than this stupid affair. You could live with yourself knowing you were a whore, you could live knowing you were a homewrecker so long as no one else knew, but you could not and would not even attempt to be okay with sheer stupidity. And stupidity was playing this game. You didn’t understand why he wanted to either.

“How do you feel now?”

“No,” you snapped.

“Watch the tone,” he warned.

“God,” you huffed tiredly. “I can’t. No, I’m saying no.”

He simply hummed and with no warning, buried his fingers inside you once more. “Then I guess we’re going to be here for quite a while.”

A whine caught in your throat and you practically choked trying to talk to him. “Daddy, we’re going to get caught.”

“Then say yes. You think you can have an attitude and mouth off and I’m just going to let it go because we might get caught?”

Well, honestly, yes, you had expected that. This was bad and you knew you were fucked up because that was making it feel better. He was pressed against you, hiding you from any eyes that may look outside because he was insanely possessive and didn’t want anyone else seeing you naked. He was holding you so tight that it actually hurt and he was barely letting you breathe, you were getting dizzy and lightheaded and you just needed to come.

He did this to you so many times that you lost track. The only thing you did know was that it wasn’t taking long even though it felt like it. It was Tuesday night and you had been here enough at this time to know that this was a busy night for these rich people. You’d walked out of the house at 7:46. The bathroom light was still on and would be for another 30 minutes at least, because Jacob was a menace when he wanted to be—but never with you. Mrs. Johnson always came home from her cooking club at 8:20 to 8:30. Mr. Garcia would always come out at around 8:15 to leave his trash or recycling, depending on the night of the week. Sometimes, Mrs. Wilson’s grandchildren would stop by for late visits. They were all doctors and lawyers, at least, that was the reason they gave for never coming at a reasonable hour, but they actually just wanted money and knew she would be too tired to say no. Mrs. Taylor’s twin demons you once had the displeasure of devoting your Monday and Friday nights to had to go out every night at 8:30 until 10:00 because of some stupid project they were doing on stars.

Andy had to know all of this also, so you understood that he was just trying to call your bluff.

Well, fuck, it was going to work. You were terrified. There were so many variables, anyone could show up early. Or hell, there had to be some people here with drinking addictions, an affliction for pills, a house fire could start. Or a revealed affair could lead to a staged murder that looked like something else. Andy being so calm was almost worrisome.

But you were more worried about Laurie. Apparently, you weren’t like him. You couldn’t just shut off your guilt surrounding her. You knew you had to try one more time to get out of this. Andy was pretending right now to be so hard, but he was more than soft for you. He spoiled the hell out of you and let you be very bratty even though he put on a whole show that he couldn’t stand it. But you knew that when you gave him a look, when you softened your voice just enough, when you said the right things, that man would give you the world if he could.

In your littlest, whiny voice, you begged him. “Daddy, please.”

He froze for a moment, letting his hand fall away only to take your shoulders and turn you back to him. He was looking at you curiously, also a tad suspiciously.

You simply stared at him with pleading eyes. He couldn’t honestly think this was a good idea. “We can’t do this. Not around Jacob. Not in the house.”

Realization showed on his face and he scoffed. “Oh, baby, you really are the sweetest thing.” He leaned in to press you flat to the car door once more and brought his hand up, slipping his fingers into your mouth. His eyes were on yours the entire time, as you sucked and licked, and then as he started shoving them down your throat. You gagged, tears were running down your cheeks, and you had started rolling your hips, grinding against the bulge in his pants.

“You are the most beautiful little girl in the world, you know that?”

You hummed, thankful that you didn’t actually have to put an answer to that. He never stopped telling you that you were beautiful, that he’d never see someone else like you, but when you really had to think about it, you were just the average insecure person.

“You’re my little girl, yeah?” He pulled his fingers from your mouth, touching your swollen lips. “Tell me.”

“I’m your little girl.”

“Do you know how badly daddy wants to eat your pussy?”

It took you a moment, but when you realized that he wanted an answer, you shook your head. He didn’t talk about it much. He just liked to listen to you, he liked to tell you that he just wanted to be inside you, that he couldn’t wait to feel you around him.

“Mm…I do. I want to lick you for hours until your begging me to stop. I want you to come in my mouth. I want you to grind your pussy all over my face. You have to know how badly daddy wants you on his cock, though?”

“Yes.”

“Say you’ll come back, gorgeous. Of course, Jacob can never know, this isn’t a game. I just miss seeing you. I miss smelling your perfume and hearing you laugh. I miss having you so close.”

“I miss you, too,” you promised. But. There was still a but, even if you didn’t come right out and say it.

You felt his hands moving against your stomach and then you heard the zipper of his pants. Oh, god. He took your hand and slipped it down his boxers, you both shuddered as your skin touched his.

His eyes fell shut and he took a deep breath in. He tightened his hand around yours and began slowly jerking your hand up and down his cock. “What do you think, baby girl?”

“You’re really big, daddy.” And so fucking thick, you were going crazy just picturing yourself trying to ride him. He was much bigger than your boyfriend, much bigger than anyone else you’d ever fucked.

“Imagine my cock inside your beautiful little cunt. I bet it’ll hurt so much that you cry. And I am going to pound that pussy until you are so stretched and used that your boyfriend won’t be able to make you come at all.”

You wanted nothing more, but you also wanted to have a little bit of fun. “I said you were big…but I didn’t say you were bigger than him.”

He pulled his hand and yours out of his pants and the next second, he was on you. His hand was around your neck, his other holding your jaw, and his face just inches away from yours. “You fucking little brat. You’re lucky I don’t make you get on your knees and choke you on my cock.”

“Kiss me, daddy.”

And just like that, he was no longer upset with you. It was hilarious how easily you could push this man into anything you wanted. And he didn’t even care, he just wanted to give you everything you could think to ask for.

He sighed, glancing around. “I can’t do that, baby, not here.”

Then where? That was when you finally understood. He wanted you back so badly, because where else would you be able to do this? He could get a hotel room but if anyone ever saw you, there would be no defense. It would be apparent what you guys were doing. Your house? Your parents were always around. That only left his house and if Laurie was going to be gone…maybe you didn’t see much harm in that.

“Say yes,” he whispered.

You should have never turned around to look at him. He had won, there was no way you could deny him anymore. You nodded. “Yes, daddy.”

He smiled and your heart stuttered. He was the most beautiful man in the world. “I’ll let Laurie know...I’ll tell her this was why I was out here so long. And you, angel, need to go straight home, shove a toy in that pussy, and make some videos for daddy.”

It was weeks later than Andy told you he had a surprise for you. A few months had gone by. You hadn’t returned to the Barber home since the dinner and you kept your usual contact with Andy. Just more sending pictures and videos and texting every second it was possible.

He was still thrilled that you were going back for the summer and regularly checked in just to make sure that you didn’t change your mind about it. You still had a few months and he was constantly worried you would feel a sudden burst of guilt. It wasn’t too farfetched, actually.

When you got home, your mother informed you that you had received a package. She claimed it didn’t say who it was from. You knew what that meant. You had checked your phone that morning and saw a text informing you to expect something.

You texted Andy, I got it, then you went to your drawers to pick out something skimpy and lacy.

Good. Take off all your clothes.

Odd, he usually wanted you wearing something. You did as was asked of you and let him know when you were ready for more instruction.

Go to your bathroom with the box.

Once more, you let him know when you’d complied with his orders.

Open the box.

Inside was another smaller box, a picture clearly displaying the product. He bought you a dildo, a rather large one. You didn’t normally get toys this size, they were harder to film with.

Before you could respond, he texted again. Get it out of the box and clean it really well, then stick it to the floor.

Again, you followed his directions. Once it was set up and immovable, you let him know.

Get your laptop, we’re going to Skype.

That left you naked in front of your laptop that was a few feet away. He had you sitting with your legs bent and spread wide so he could see your pussy.

He wasn’t wearing a shirt, that was the first thing you noticed. The second was his background, you didn’t recognize it.

“Where are you, daddy?”

“Home. My office. Laurie’s sister is in town so they both went out to see her. Focus, baby. I’m going to send you some videos that I want you to watch.”

“Videos?” You had a feeling you already knew what he meant. And mere seconds later, got confirmation through the email link he sent to you. Porn. Not surprising and you weren’t really opposed.

The videos he sent you were all starred older men, many roleplaying as the stepfather, and younger women playing the innocent, naïve daughter. Older than you mostly, but still significantly younger than the men they were fucking. The videos started tame, small, just cheesy scenarios and rough sex following. But as he sent you more, the men became more dominant. They would choke, pull hair, spank, call her degrading names. You didn’t hate any of it.

He wouldn’t let you touch yourself and he didn’t touch himself. He just watched you the entire time, sometimes talking and asking you questions, but he mainly just wanted you focusing on this. He made you keep your legs open so he could make sure you weren’t being sneaky, which was slightly humiliating. You felt that voicing that, however, would be considered talking back.

It was nearly an hour later that he requested you show him how wet you were. Your fingers frantically ran through your cunt and you held them out toward the camera. He told you to pause the video and get on the dildo. You gracelessly rolled onto your knees, your legs just a little tired from the uncomfortable position he’d directed you to hold for so long. You climbed over the toy, one hand holding it as you straddled it.

“Just take it slow, baby girl.”

You carefully spread your knees further, bringing your pussy closer to the head of the fake cock. You heard him shifting as soon as if touched your skin. You weren’t as nervous as you should have been, you figured you were wet enough to take it all. That insatiable longing to be filled and ruthlessly fucked by him clouded your mind.

As soon as it was inside you by what probably wasn’t even an inch, you froze. Yes, bigger than anything you’d ever taken. It stung a little, yet you didn’t want to pull off completely. You kind of liked the pain anyway.

“Keep going.”

“It hurts.”

“Just try for me, angel.”

You set your hands to the floor, once again spreading your legs wider. The ache didn’t dull as you kept going. “Daddy, I think it’s too big.”

“I’m bigger, that’s why I want you to get used to it.”

Bigger? Even though you were struggling to handle this, you wanted him instead of the toy. You wanted him on top, forcing you to take his cock, cooing to you and kissing your face the whole time. This was a flawed plan that he came up with because you were going to need some major convincing to get any further on this thing.

“Take a minute,” he decided, and you needed no further prompt to pull off.

You hissed lightly, looking at it. You had barely made it down the head. So, this was going to be one of those long calls.

“Use your mouth,�� he instructed.

That you could do. You leaned over it, immediately dropping down until it hit the back of your throat. Your eyes flickered up to the screen where you saw his arm moving so slowly, back and forth. You would ask later if you could see him, when you didn’t have something in your mouth.

“Baby doll, you are fucking beautiful.”

You hummed, pulling back and then sliding back down.

“Gag on it. I want to hear you choking.”

You prepped your throat by bobbing up and down, taking it a little further each time. It wasn’t until your nose was hovering just above the floor that you gagged loudly. You backed off hurriedly but did it once more, a second time, a third, a fourth, until he told you to stop.

“Stay there, sweetheart, keep it down your throat. Try swallowing around it. I want you to get used to that, too. That’s how I love having my cock sucked.”

You obeyed, attempting to swallow around the thick piece of silicone. Those tries were followed by a lot of short coughs, gagging noises, and your body moving almost violently every time you got just a little too ahead of yourself. You were suddenly very thankful that you’d woken up late, since you’d stayed up until almost 5 in the morning talking to him, and hadn’t had time to eat anything.

“You think you can do it now?”

You hummed and hoped he wouldn’t press for more. You weren’t sure. You were nervous to try but it wasn’t like he was going to let you off that easy.

“Okay, try again.”

Positioning yourself over it, you realized you were much wetter now. Getting the head inside was easy enough but just as soon, it started to hurt again.

“You okay, princess?”

“Yeah.” You turned your attention down and tried to force yourself to relax. You were nervous, double that now because you didn’t want to fail in front of Andy. You wanted to show him that you knew what you were doing and that when he finally fucked you, it was going to be perfect. You didn’t want him to think of you as some inexperienced little girl.

“Remember, take it easy. Don’t hurt yourself.”

You never thought you would have an issue with him babying you. “I wish this was your cock, daddy.”

He hummed as if it was a question but was much more focused on your comfort than your attempts to distract him.

“Mhm,” you returned. “I can’t wait to feel you inside me. I can’t wait to be filled up and dripping with your cum.”

“I’ll cover you in my cum, sweetheart. You wanna try taking a little more?”

You hadn’t moved and it was still aching, but your mind was getting hazy. You were thinking about Andy and how good he was going to fuck you. You wanted it so hard and so fast that you didn’t think the dildo would even suffice. You lowered a tad too fast, earning a disapproving sound from him.

And yes, it hurt, but admitting any type of defeat was beyond out of the question. “Fuck, daddy, it’s so big,” you sighed. You didn’t pull off, but you tried shifting your hips to get a little more comfortable.

“Fuck yourself with it.”

You used your arms for balance and began pulling back carefully before dropping back down. You did this several more times until it was no longer uncomfortably painful. “Daddy?”

“Yes, baby?”

You pushed yourself up, balancing on your knees as your hands came up to your breasts. “Can I see you?”

He arched an eyebrow at you. “You wanna see me?”

You nodded. “Please?”

He sat up, pushing the laptop back as he stood. You finally got to see that hard stomach you had been pressed against that night and it did not disappoint. You had no idea that he was going to look so strong and beautiful—and honestly, what the hell was he doing with you? You were confident enough and sometimes, some days when things were just going your way, you even loved how you looked. But Andy was inhumanly, unfairly breathtaking.

Then you saw his cock and you instantly whimpered. He was so big, bigger than the toy just as he’d claimed. You’d suspected he was exaggerating, most men did. He laid his cock out on the desk, tip leaking, skin angry and red.

“Daddy,” you whispered.

“What, honey?”

“I can’t wait for summer. I need you now.”

“Just be patient. You need to get a little more accustomed to the toy first because I’m not sure I’m going to be able to be gentle.”

“I don’t want you to be gentle.”

“You want daddy to make it hurt?”

“Yes.”

“Touch your clit, princess. I want to see you come.”

Your hand snapped down to your cunt, mindlessly searching for, and at times successfully catching, that hypersensitive spot. As soon as you heard him grunting, jerking himself off to the sight of you, you knew you weren’t going to last long.

You watched his arm move, the way his muscles tensed, you noticed the veins. He wasn’t the kind of man to show off. His suits were always fitted and occasionally, he wore a short sleeve tee, but you were starting to realize he was rather modest. It was this secret that he finally told you, he was finally showing you parts of himself that you never would have known about had he not extended some type of trust to you.

You needed him to fuck you. You needed him wrapping his arms around you and holding you against his chest, hips thrusting into yours. You were bouncing on the dildo now, uncaring of how much it hurt, fingers still rubbing large, unskilled circles into your clit. You were high off him, completely entranced and focused on Andy. “Daddy…”

“You close?”

“Yes. Can I please come?”

“You can come, angel.” He stroked himself faster, opposite hand settling on the desk as he leaned over a little.

You took as much of the dildo as you could and stayed, just focusing on touching your clit. You whimpered and whined as you approached your finish, mewling ‘daddy’ at least a dozen times, and told him several times that you needed him inside you, and promised you would do anything for his cock. He was quiet even though he was still fucking his fist, wanting to hear every sound you were making for him.

You nearly collapsed when your orgasm hit. Thankfully, instead of down—because seriously, this was an obnoxiously large toy and there was still so much that wasn’t inside you yet—you fell forward and caught yourself with both hands. You continued to roll your hips, haphazardly moving your hair out of the way with one hand at a time so he could see your breasts move and just how far down you were getting. One feeling you never quite got rid of, no matter what you were doing, no matter how good whatever you were being fucked with was: his praise was even better than coming.

“Fuck, baby girl,” he blurted out. You heard one of his knees buckle, it hit the desk he was standing behind.

“Are you close, daddy?”

He hummed shortly.

“I wish I was there, daddy. I want to taste you so bad.”

And that was all he needed. With a slight groan, his cum streaked out onto the desk between him and his laptop. His hand slowed but didn’t fully stop until he was done coming. He fell back into his chair, chest rising and falling with his quick breaths.

“You want me to come over, daddy? I could help you clean your desk.”

He scoffed. “Come on, princess, don’t start being a tease.”

“I’m not,” you promised. “Really, I’ll come over if you want me to.”

He finally looked back at the screen, eyes moving over you as you pushed yourself back onto your knees. Though you still felt the toy was too big, it no longer hurt so you were counting this a success. If you continued to use it every day until you were working for him again, fucking him wouldn’t be so difficult. At least you hoped.

“You wanna come over? You’re not scared of getting caught anymore?”

You shrugged. Yes, you were still terrified but your pathetic desire to be touched by that man could make you do some pretty stupid things.

“Don’t be a brat,” he scoffed.

“Then you should come here. My parents won’t notice.”

“I’m not some uncontrollably horny teenage boy you can convince to sneak in through your window. Come on, you just gotta wait a little longer.”

You sighed. “But I want you.”

“I know, trust me, I want you…” His eyes lowered on the screen and he sighed. “I want to taste you, too. Especially after you just finished.”

You leaned forward to grab the edge of the laptop and pulled it closer. “Look, daddy, I took a lot.”

“You did, baby,” he agreed, voice still just a little light. You came down much faster than him. You had to stall and get him ready to go before he decided it was time to end the call. You wanted to see him. In person. And you were not opposed to playing dirty.

“Do you want me to try again? I can do more—”

“No, no, don’t worry about it, angel. You did good today, you need to rest before we do this again. Maybe take a day or two.”

A day or two? Fuck that. He couldn’t see your face, all he could actually see was the dildo still buried in your pussy. You looked down, finding your slick was dripping down the toy. This was going to be easy. You took your fingers and ran them up, collecting what had leaked out of you. You brought it up to your mouth and moaned lewdly—you had to be a little extra, just to make sure he knew.

“Sweetheart,” he warned.

“I wish you could taste me, too, daddy. I’m really good.”

“Come on,” he complained. “Stop it, right now.”

“I could get in my car right now, daddy. We could drive out to that dead-end street by the park. Just one quick, little taste and then I’ll come back home and get into bed and make some more videos for you.”

He said nothing, which you always knew actually meant that you were closer than he wanted to let on.

“Please, daddy? I just need something…summer is so far away.”

“Damn it,” he muttered, finally sitting up straight in the chair. “Damn it, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry, daddy but I really, really need you.” You started to pull your hips up and then slowly slid back down. “Can’t you hear how wet I still am?”

“Fuck,” he hissed. “Okay. Okay, fine.”

You shoved the laptop back, leaning down on your forearms. “Really?”

“But you’re going to keep that toy inside your pussy.”

“What?”

“Keep it right where it is. Get dressed. Drive to the dead-end street. Wait for me. Oh, bring a towel.”

“A towel?” You tried not to sound too excited, but you knew you’d failed. He wasn’t really planning on fucking you, was he? You wanted it, you would never say no to that man, but you hadn’t thought it would be so easy.

“You’ll need to bite down on something when I’m spanking you.”

Oh, fuck.

[hollowknightheadcanons]

Spooky Scary ideas for the funny soup au

(by ratcandy)

Oh boy! You've allowed me to ramble! Horror soup au time.

A'ight so how is soup boy getting ahold of soul? We know in canon that there's... some way of extracting soul, aside from just killing bugs, but I don't believe we ever see what that machine... is? We see a snail shaman strapped down somewhere, presumably to be Drained(tm), but I can't remember if we actually see a soul-extraction-device of sorts. Considering the only other method we've seen of gathering soul is through attacking/killing bugs, I can only imagine that the soul draining process would be horrifically painful! So much so that he'd likely have to be careful how much is drained at a time... if he's not trying to kill the bug off. Which in of itself opens up the can of worms of him using the same bug over and over again for soul! What if he was in a rush? Would he just drown them in the hot springs (or whatever that liquid is) until they're full on soul again? How does he make sure they don't fight back?

On that note, where's he keeping his victims? You mentioned "When he first started out, he was only using a couple bugs- why raise suspicions by draining a bunch of bugs for soul when you could keep only a couple? But then as his restaurant got more popular, he needed more." He's gonna need a place to be holdin these bugs. Somewhere they can't escape and where they can't be heard. I know there was talk of a basement somewhere?? That COULD work, but it'd have to be soundproofed to some degree. Also, it'd have to be a pretty big basement! Assuming the growth in popularity is enough that he needs a constant supply of soul! Unless the basement is underneath the restaurant. Which is actually an idea I've used for a story before! The "ingredients" are kept deep underneath the feet of all the unknowing customers. They can scream and shout all they want - it'd be worse if they know there's bugs above them that can't hear them - but alas! No saving them now.

Bro hear me OUT What if he obtained his victims by setting up a sort of... yknow. "Now Hiring!" façade? Some poor sod thinks they get to work in the popular five star soup restaurant but oh no! actually you're being used for years of torment. but hey! your blood, sweat and tears is put into every bowl :) you're a vital asset to the team!

I'm also just imagining a whole scene where Lurien finds out about the basement, somehow, but he's not sure what to expect. He sneaks down at some point, maybe in the dead of night when the restaurant's closed, only to be faced with the horror of hundreds of drained bugs, all barely alive, begging to be freed. 

Someone headcanon'd at some point that the Soul Master is straight up chugging raw soul after a long day and. IMAGINE. Throughout the show/story/what have you, his body is just progressively contorting due to the effects of soul. Having "watered-down" soul, as is used in the soups, is fine in small doses, but just... straight up drinking that strong stuff? Oh terrible! By the end of it, he's just a bloated, hardly mobile mess, constantly choking on the soul he's ingested but somehow supremely powerful still. So he can fight back when Lurien shows up to. I dunno. arrest em? kill em? Dunno what the end goal is for Lurien other than proving it to the King, who's been shown to. likely not care! (The King's probably in on it imo)

ON that note, too, what about Mistakes/Follies? I imagine they're all over the basement. Experiments with "how much soul can i put in this soup without is having negative effects on a customer" that went very wrong! 

Does soul behave like a drug here? I mean, it's got healing properties, so anyone that ingests it has gotta be feeling pretty good afterwards. If they realize the correlation between "hey i'm feelin real sweet rn" to "this soup is wiggity wack" then. oop. they just keep coming back for more :)

And just for the sake of yummy gore and unsafe food practices: what if some newly-hired idiot (actually hired, not hired to be drained), that the Soul Master just trusted for some reason, didn't understand it was the soul being used in the soup and thought it actually was bugs themselves? Uh oh sisters! Accidental cannibalism? accidental cannibalism! And soup boy having to HASTILY cover up this mistake somehow when someone realizes there's chitin in their soup. actually. no. you didn't notice anything. please let's discuss this privately :) would you be so kind as to meet me downstairs? 

OKAY time to put a cap on my rambling for now!! It'd probably be a good idea to tag this with. uh. some sort of warning? I dunno hskjh, I tried not to get too graphic here but!! YeeAH,

———

This has the energy of that one post that’s like “a sitcom that keeps getting progressively darker and when a character dies their scene in the opening theme is just dead silence”

By the time Lurien uncovers the full secret, it’s unlikely there would be any bugs alive- however remember the soul sanctum basement in the game itself? yeah.

If Soul Master overdoses on soul then that would be the series finale or something. when it’s completely switched genres lol. Imagine the mood whiplash from going from season 1 episode 5 to season 5 episode 8.

Idk if PK is in on it since in the game he did try and shut down the soul sanctum (it’s implied at least) but the soul master went and continued behind his back anyway.

now for the machine that drains soul, we only have two references for that. the snail shaman and the place where you get spell twister.

its not that difficult to actually get the bugs for the soup though since he has at least two soul warriors and i hate those guys, one almost killed me in steel soul. i was at one mask.

Wait what if when they first started out, they (soul master and other soul sanctum guys) used their OWN soul just to test it out before they started getting into the whole kidnapping bugs for soul business. just a little bit. so that’s how the machine is not designed to kill on accident.

ooh i just got an idea but i’ll make a separate post.

[falcon-eye]

Part 3? of the story for my OCs for @inexplicifics Accidental Warlord AU! I intended to only write like the opening paragraph for this today but now it’s two hours later and the whole thing is typed out. Oops.

At some point this will all be on AO3, I promise! But until then, should I do a tag list? Would people want me to tag them as I write these in the meantime? Please let me know!

(Also points to whoever can guess what Veko’s talking about when it comes to colors and smells and things! I also have it, though not exactly like Veko does)

(Also bonus points to wherever can figure out what real life goat Ren is based on lol)

———————————————

Unfortunately, Veko wasn’t able to return to Eloise for a few more years. Between simply not being in the area, not having time between hunts, his brother Hamra almost being disemboweled one year, and his own injuries, he just hadn’t been able to make his way to her little town in Temeria.

This year, he was determined to go back, though he wasn’t sure why. He chalked it up to being able to stay somewhere comfortable, with actual good food, for free, but even he knew that was a flimsy excuse. Eloise fascinated him, for lack of a better word. She hadn’t been afraid of him—quite the opposite! From the get-go it was like she had tried to intimidate him, and godsdammit it worked. But she was so nice to him, and despite what she said, her food was quite good. Or maybe everything Veko had been eating recently was just that awful.

Veko swung down off of Nine—his new gray mare after Eight became wyvern food (rest in peace you prick)—and hitched her to the fence post outside Eloise’s house. For some reason, he was nervous to see her again. Was it because it had been so long (for a human anyway) since he’d been here? He didn’t want her to think he wanted out of their deal or anything.

Veko brushed as much dirt and grime off of his armor as he could before knocking on the door. A moment later, it swung open and Eloise stared up at him with wide eyes.

Veko scratched his burns. “Uh, hello Elo—“

Eloise threw herself at him, arms around his neck. “Oh my gods!” she cried. “You fucking prick! Where have you been?!” Veko faltered for a moment before tentatively wrapping his arms around Eloise’s, but she immediately pulled back, giving him an icy glare. “Well?!”

“I, uh, I’ve been... busy,” Veko replied, but for some reason, Veko felt awful despite it being the truth.

“Busy!” Eloise exclaimed. Holy shit, she’d really been upset about this.

“I’m sorry,” Veko said, staring down at his boots. “I really am. And—and I really was busy. I don’t want you to think I was trying to get out of the deal or anything, cuz I wasn’t—“

“You think I’m upset because of the fucking deal?!” Eloise shouted. Veko blinked at her and she pinched the bridge of her nose. “For Melitele’s—get in here!”

Eloise pulled Veko into the house and slammed the door. Despite the few years that had gone by, not much inside had changed. There were more paint supplies strewn around the house than last time, but that was about it.

Veko scratched his scars again and Eloise slapped his hand away. “Sorry,” he said automatically.

“I thought you were dead!” Eloise shouted, poking a finger into Veko’s chest. “You’re a bloody Witcher! That’s what happens, isn’t it? You fight monsters, and then you die. Well godsdamn you I thought you died!”

Veko was horrified when the salty smell of tears began tickling his nose; something must have showed on his face, because Eloise rubbed her eyes quickly, not letting any of them fall.

“I’m sorry,” Veko said again.

Eloise glared at him again before suddenly hugging him. “Fucking git,” she hissed. “Send a letter or something, at least! I don’t know how to get ahold of you but I’m always here!”

Veko hesitated again but hugged Eloise back. This time, she didn’t pull away. “Sorry,” he said into her hair. “Just, every time I was in the area, something would come up, or my brother was hurt, or I was too injured to travel—“

“Are you ok now?!”

“Oh yeah, all healed up now.”

“And your brother?”

Veko smiled sadly, remembering the blood on his hands and the horrifying look of resignation on Hamra’s face. “Touch and go for a bit, but yeah, he also made a full recovery. I just couldn’t leave him like that.”

Eloise finally pulled away and crossed her arms. “Well damn,” she grumbled. “How can I be mad at you now?”

Veko chuckled, feeling like a weight had lifted off of his chest.

—————

During lunch, Eloise filled him in on how things had been going since they’d seen each other. Lennart was still a bastard, but after being slapped in front of the gods and everyone by a lady at the tavern, he’d been officially removed from his position. A local woman had taken the title of alderwoman now, and things had been a lot better. A few of Eloise’s goats had had multiple babies, though a wolf problem last year had taken a few of them. She still had one of her original nanny goats, though, and apparently this particular goat was about as stubborn as they come.

“She actually chased one of the wolves off, even!” Eloise explained. “Charged it head on. I’ve never seen a wolf roll like that in my life.”

“Remind me not to piss your goats off, then,” Veko chuckled.

Eloise seemed to pause for a moment. “I actually have to go feed them,” she said. “Plus, your horse has just been... well, outside tied to my fence. Come with me?”

So that was how Veko found himself leading his horse to the tiny barn behind Eloise’s house. He could see a couple goats that were obviously youngsters immediately rush over to the fence, bleating loudly. From within the barn, a huge tan goat trotted out and fucking screamed.

Veko flinched and even Nine pulled back. “Sorry, sorry,” Eloise said. “That’s Georgina. She’s... special.”

“I’ll say,” Veko grumbled. “This our wolf chaser?”

Eloise shook her head and pointed to another goat on the opposite side of the paddock. A little black thing, shorter than the others, with huge, curled horns. Eloise whistled and the goat immediately charged—and slammed horns first—into the fence.

“Ren,” Eloise said, crouching down to scratch the goat between the ears. “She’s harmless. Mostly.”

Veko looked at Nine and seemed to almost share a stare with the horse. A ‘can you believe this shit?’ moment that got Veko chuckling despite himself.

“Whatever you say.”

Eloise led Veko and Nine into the barn and into a small empty stall. “This was my father’s horse’s stall,” she explained as Veko began undoing Nine’s tack.

“Where is your old man, anyway?” he asked as he heaved the saddle down.

Eloise looked away. “He, um,” she cleared her throat. “He passed, um, a few months after you left.”

Veko dropped the saddle. “Fuck,” he said. “I’m—I’m so sorry. Fuck, if I’d known—“

“Veko,” Eloise put a hand on his arm, “my father was sick. Even I didn’t realize how badly until a week before he went. But it was... it was peaceful, at least. I’d made him dinner, he wished me goodnight, and I found him in the morning.”

Veko honestly didn’t know what else to say. Death was a weird subject for Witchers, after all. He continued grooming Nine while searching desperately for something to say that wasn’t ‘sorry’ again.

“Did he have... a funeral?” Veko asked. He could’ve slapped himself. Of course he had a fucking funeral.

Eloise seemed to sense Veko’s fumbling, because she smiled gently and nodded. “A very nice one, too,” she said. “I’ll go get some water for your horse.”

As Eloise walked away, Nine looked at Veko again. What was it with this horse? Veko pointed a warning finger in his face; Nine simply huffed and turned away. Somewhere, Hamra was laughing, Veko was sure of it. His brother had always had a good relationship with his horses.

Eloise returned a moment later with a bucket of water. Veko immediately took it from her and poured it into the empty trough.

“What’s her name?” Eloise asked. If he could blush, Veko would’ve been scarlet.

“Nine,” he said.

“‘Nine’?” Eloise repeated. “Does that mean something in another language or like, the number?”

“The, uh, the number.”

Eloise slapped Veko’s hand as it reached for his scars. “Why?”

“She’s my... ninth horse.”

There was beat before Eloise burst out laughing. “You’re something else, you know that?”

Veko smirked to cover his embarrassment. “So I’ve been told.”

Eloise rolled her eyes and headed over to the opposite end of the barn. The far wall was lined with bales of hay. Before she could even reach for one, Veko rushed over and hoisted one over his shoulder. Eloise put her hands on her hips.

“You know I’ve been doing this for years even before you showed up, right?” And she had a point; what was wrong with him?

“I, uh,” he looked anywhere but at Eloise, trying to find an excuse. “I figured it’s... been a while since I’ve been here so I, uh, owe you. I guess.”

“Are you telling me or asking me?”

“Yes.”

Eloise laughed. “Ok then,” she said, heading back out of the barn. “I’ll get the gate at least.”

Veko followed Eloise to the paddock and held Ren by a leather strap around her neck while he made his way through the gate. The other goats immediately began following him. As soon as the hay hit the ground, the goats descended. Eloise let Ren go and the other goats parted to let her through.

“I never realized how scary goats were,” Veko said as Eloise latched the gate closed.

“To be fair, I have quite the herd of characters,” she replied. “Most people have a rooster to wake them at sunrise; I have Georgina and her screaming. Ren is like my own personal guard hound. Sometimes she gets out and chases off anyone who gets near the house. The others are still young, yet, but they’re slowly starting to show their personalities.”

“I’ll stick with horses, I think,” Veko said. “They’re enough trouble as it is.”

“Apparently!” Eloise laughed as she and Veko made their way back to the house. “Seeing as you’ve had nine of them!”

“This is a dangerous job!” Veko defended, but the tone was joking. “Plus in the grand scheme of things, nine horses hasn’t been a lot for how long I’ve been on the Path.”

Eloise’s brow furrowed. “How old are you?”

“Old.”

Eloise scoffed and started gathering some of her paints. Veko followed her into her art room, not sure what else to do at this point, and found the walls covered in different paintings than the last time he’d been here. One in an ornate frame was her father, exactly as real as if he was standing before them.

Eloise picked up a few leather straps from one of the tables. “Help me with something,” she said. “I’m going to repaint the goats’ collars and I don’t know what color to give who. I want you to help me decide.”

“Ok?” Veko said, taking a seat. “Why?”

“Something you said to my father, when you saved him,” Eloise replied. “It always confused him. He told you he lived in the house with the blue roof and you said it suited him. Why?”

Veko went to scratch his scars, but instead balled his hand into the fabric of his pants. “Well, it’s, uh,” he hesitated. Of all things for that old man to focus on!

“My father was always fascinated with color,” Eloise said, as if sensing Veko needed a minute. “That’s how I got into painting. He was never content with something being the original color it was. Hence, the blue roof. He said that you saying the blue suited him kind of, I don’t know, validated him.”

Veko’s chest felt tight. Now he felt fucking terrible for not being here before. Maybe Eloise’s father would’ve understood, or at least found it interesting that—

Veko cleared his throat. “So, sometimes,” he began, staring down at his hands. “When I think of things, or names, or... well anything, really. I get these senses.” When he looked up, Eloise was enraptured. “Like, your father, just looking at him, the color blue came to mind. I don’t know why.”

“Just colors?”

Veko shook his head. “Smells, sometimes. Like when I think of you... I, uh, I think of the smell of your paints.”

“That’s... that’s fascinating, Veko,” Eloise said. “Tell me more?”

Veko gestured to the collars. “Well, you’re trying to figure out what color for what goat. As soon as you said Georgina, green came to mind. I don’t know why. And Ren is red, but not because the name and word are close. Uh, sometimes when I picture my supplies in my pack, I see them like they’re all laid out on the table, lined up side-by-side, despite the fact that I know damn well they’re a jumbled mess in my bag. And in my head, the order is always the same. I kinda do the same thing with months. I see them lined up like squares on a wall.” Veko grimaced. Fuck. “No, ‘see’ is the wrong word, cuz I don’t—I’m not hallucinating or anything!”

“I believe you,” Eloise said softly, taking one of Veko’s hands in hers. And she was telling the truth. Veko felt the tension in his body release.

“It’s weird, I know,” he said. “So I don’t normally say anything. When I was younger the trainers thought my head got fucked up by the mutagens but it’s just the way I’ve always been.”

“Does your brother have this too?”

“No,” Veko chuckled. “But he’s been the most receptive to it, even if he doesn’t understand it. Like, his favorite color is green, but when I think of him I think of like an indigo color. And I’m red, but I don’t know why.”

“What about me?” Veko met Eloise’s gaze and held it. The look on her face was one of honest curiosity and interest. She smiled at him and squeezed his fingers. “What do you see when you think of me?”

Veko swallowed. “I see turquoise, like the color your dress was the first time we met. I don’t know if it’s because that’s what you were wearing or what, but when I think ‘Eloise’ I think of that faint turquoise color.”

“Does it work for family names?”

“Sometimes. What is your full name, anyway?”

“Eloise Calold.”

Veko cocked his head to the side. “Yellow,” he said. “Calold is yellow.”

“But not because of anything I’m wearing,” Eloise said, gesturing to the paint-stained brown smock she was currently wearing.

“Guess not.”

“Veko,” Eloise breathed. “That is the most fascinating thing I’ve ever heard of. So you see colors? Or, think in colors? I wish I had that. I wonder how it would affect my art. I wonder how it would affect your art.”

Veko pulled away and put his hands up. “Hey, whoa, who said anything about me being an artist?” he said.

Eloise laughed. “I bet you’re better than you think,” she said.

“I bet not.”

Eloise smirked. “Tell you what,” she said. “I’ll drop the subject if you do something for me.”

“Name it?”

“Let me paint you.”

Veko again was struck silent. She wanted to paint him? Apparently his mouth was hanging open, because Eloise tapped his chin to close it. “Why?” he managed.

“Because,” she replied. “We’re... friends. Or I like to think we are. And in case... in case something happens to you...” she gazed at the painting of her father, smiling down warmly at them, “I want you to be immortalized with him.”

What the fuck could Veko say to that? “Oh. Ok,” he said dumbly. “Uh. How do you want me?”

Eloise jumped up and ran for a blank canvas. “Whatever’s comfortable!” she called. “It takes a while.”

Veko just... sat there as Eloise began setting up. He turned this way and that, never quite settling, before Eloise huffed and dragged an armchair over. Veko abandoned the stool he’d been on and sat back into the warn leather.

“Better,” he said. He turned, scar facing away, and immediately Eloise’s hand reached out to turn him back. Her fingers grazed the puckered mess that was his cheek and he flinched.

“I’m sorry,” Eloise said gently. “I just—I want to see it.”

“Why?” Veko whispered.

“Because it’s a part of you,” Eloise replied. “And gods know I’ve kept you from scratching it enough.”

There was a moment where neither of them said a word. Veko’s heart sped in his chest like it hadn’t in many years. Eloise gazed over his burn scars and gently brushed her fingers over them again. Veko didn’t flinch this time, but just barely. Her fingers were cool against the phantom heat of his burns, and as she traced the expanse of them along his jaw, he couldn’t hold back the full-body shiver the touch elicited.

Eloise pulled back and Veko scrambled to find something to say before she said anything else about them. “So—so how does this work?” he asked. “I, uh, I just sit here?”

Eloise nodded and finally pulled back. “Yes,” she said, not meeting his gaze. Now that he was out of his own head, Veko could hear her heart hammering in her chest. “Just, um, get comfortable, relax, and um, don’t... don’t move, if you can help it.”

Veko grinned. “Ok.” Eloise nodded and began mixing a few paints.

Veko just... watched her. As brush met paint and paint met canvas, he could almost see the cogs turning in her head. Instead of sticking her tongue out, like he’d heard some artists do, she made faces. A stroke here and her mouth pinched to the side; stroke there and her mouth opened in a little ‘o’.

Veko wanted to slip into meditation, as that would be the best way to sit still for her, but he found he just couldn’t. As much as Eloise was watching him for her painting, he wanted to watch her. He couldn’t help but think of the last time they’d seen each other, and what he thought of her then. She wasn’t all that attractive, merely plain by any standards. Her laugh was unladylike and jarring. She intimidated him. She swore. She—

She made him dinner. She let him sleep in her home. She told him stories and listened to his in turn. She wanted his opinions. She found his mental crap fascinating. She worried for him. She cried for him!

She called them friends.

As Veko sat, watching Eloise paint his portrait, a warm weight settled in his gut. He didn’t want to leave in the morning. Hells, he didn’t want her to ever finish this bloody painting. And although emotions aren’t exactly a Witcher’s strong point, he had a sinking suspicion that what he was feeling...

Fuck.

[otakumagicmusicgamer]

Spoilers Ahead for the first season of My Next Life As A Villianess <3

Oh where to begin. First of all, when the summary said it was a comedy of misunderstandings, I got scared. I have really bad second hand embarrassment and it’s a very fine line of Dense Misunderstandings For Comedy and A Cringefest of Pain For “Comedy” (even playing an anxiety spiral itself for laughs). But oh! How I was happily surprised! It really goes with the flow and doesn’t rely on ridicule or anything. There’s just Catarina, dense weird wonderful Catarina, and everyone in some fashion accepts her for her. So this is actually pleasant to watch!

Now, Catarina- what a delight. What makes her interesting is she takes Fortune Lover Catarina and humbles her. Takes selfish and mean and spins it 180. If she puts out mean into the world, it comes back at her in the end. She knows she has the potential for a ‘scary face’ and actively chooses not to use it. And her feelings on the matter are not just for survival, theyre genuine too. But what makes this fascinating is her lack of accounting for things *not* in the game. She doesn’t consider, by blazing a new path in the game -where Catarina is nice- that new ‘routes’ form. She focuses on Maria’s pov so much, she doesn’t see her own. She doesn’t see the good she’s put out, cuz she’s supposed to be the antagonist. She’s so focused on the doom flags, she doesn’t realize there *are* no doom flags. There’s nothing for the game to doom, no punishment for cruelty. What’s more, even by taking the place of ‘The Suitors’ in scenes with Maria, she doesn’t consider /any of them/ having feelings for her. (Geordo kisses her neck for crying out loud.) Why? Because Catarina Claes is not a romanceable character in Fortune Lover. There are a lot of paths, but she is not one of them. She has no successful romantic relationship, nor any. Which makes this whole anime downright Fascinating. By taking out the antagonist, there is no doom. By inserting a reborn earnest friendly kind tree-climbing high school girl in her place, there is no Fortune Lover. The fact that she is aware of Fortune Lover makes her almost omnipresent, and putting all her points into Survival and Durability and Craves Sweets and nothing else, makes her human. No high marks, denser than bricks, but damn if she ain’t the prettiest embodiment of a Nokia phone. She’d be an apocalypse survivor. “How did she survive a landslide in a volcano? Idk it’s Catarina.” Oh, and the last scene? The friendship ending? Yeah, she’s not wrong. It is a friendship ending.... for Maria. She ends up with none of the interests and stays good friends with them, no bad blood or nothing. Cuz again, Catarina isn’t a love interest. It just so happens that the entire company present in the area is so fucking in love with her that they say the Line Of Romance to her and, while they may bicker, they do not hold bad feelings for each other. If all of them could be married to Catarina and live in a big ol house together, they’d be so fuckin content. And best part? None of this is condemned. No “ya gotta pick one and only one”. They saw a harem and went ‘ya know? Let’s embrace this’ and now the characters r so chill with their plant growing, tree climbing gf. (I’m sure her mother wishes *something* good could rub off on Catarina lol) You hear that? That’s the sound of a Polyamorous nerd feeling validated. (It’s me, I feel validated by this Polyamorous romcom anime, this is my home now)

My thoughts on the rest of the cast aren’t going to be as long. The anime does a good job of going through each characters thoughts and arcs. And I adored Anne’s POV on things as well, how she is also moved to tears by Catarina’s good heart. Even her mother, who is harsh but only because she cares. (I would have loved to see the look on her mother’s face when she was in the coma, how she would have grieved, what she would have reflected on. Her father is a bit more transparent in emotions, but he would have been great to see too). I also would have loved to see Mary and Maria in the book of desire. I figure Maria would kinda be like Alan, but oh, what would Mary have done? (Guess I need fanfiction to answer that lol.) Keith’s role as a love interest for Catarina is the only least liked thing I have on here. And honestly it’s cuz they keep *calling* them brother and sister. I know they’re not actually siblings, mostly that’s left over from Fortune Lover, and “distant relative” can and is shorthand for a lot of things so like it’s even possible they aren’t related at all. And the characters don’t find it horrible that he loves her, and probably know he’s a Distant Relative so they’re like whatevs. So like, it’s not incest. It’s not even as potently close to incest as anime can get. But it’s the only thing that could be deemed a Flaw about this anime, so it stands out. I do wish the ending couple of eps could have been a little more Maria, and her having a bit more importance in general. Also her light magic having an effect a bit in the ‘fight’ with Sirius. Although I do want to think the green glow of hope was Maria, tho I’m pretty sure the assumption is Acchan.

Which btw can I say was an absolute treat? I suspected something was up with Sirius but I did not suspect that. I wonder what his base magic is, if it isn’t dark magic? I had thought he saved Sophia and Catarina and thus also had wind/light magic. But oh man, when he started lashing out on Catarina cuz he thought she was also faking kindness? That she was purposely saving people? That a part of his resentment of nobles was being projected? That somewhere he also caught Feelings and thus the mage doubled down on his control? That when Catarina looked at Sirius and touched his hand and face, her (Nerd™️) instincts kicked in and pieced everything together and also saw him in such pain and misery? That she holds herself to the antagonist title, that she’s there to ruin and thus can’t *save* anyone, (a bittersweet sentiment) so she’s not intimidated by the burst of dark magic and just honestly wants his friendship and sit with him through his pain? MY HEART! IT SCREAMS! (I love this sort of dynamic yes Ive loved Fruits Basket for years don’t look at me like that).

What else.... the little peppering in the fact that Oh Yeah She’s Dead hit like a truck. The little bit with her family, of her past life? Yeah, ouch. Got me crying. Don’t think to much into that rabbit hole, you’ll get sad. I fucking ADORE the twist of Sophia being Acchan, or at least part of her. Her being so scared of loosing her best friend (and love of her life) again? Yeah, tears man. Catarina accidentally mending the relationships between Geordo and Alan and Maria and her mother was great. Having Mary and Sophia dance with Catarina at her birthday party was a delightful touch, as was not having all the romance novels be m/f, and none of it was a joke or negatively placed- just *there*. I do enjoy the interests butting heads with each other over private time with Catarina. It was mostly Geordo and Keith (“they’re such good friends” girl if they had a tenth of lil Alan’s Fight Me energy you’d have to put them on leashes) but I loved the little bits of Geordo vs Mary and Sophia cheering on Nicol and I reeeeally hope to see more of that. To provoke subtle sass from Alan and Maria would be a great sight, and more of Raphael joining the ranks. I laugh at all the times they mutter “gotta protect her, she’s seduced another one” cuz like, girl ain’t doing shit but running into people that happen to be Moron-sexual, holding their hand and refusing to leave. And they KNOW that. And it’s great. edit: HOW COULD I FORGET HER MAGIC! God I want Catarina to get better at magic. More than just Earth Bumps pls

All in all? I love this anime. 9.5/10. Tis good stuff. And if ya read all my late night/oops it’s 4am ramblings, good on you! I feel bad tagging this cuz it’s long but I’m also on mobile so god knows what this actually looks like but I needed my thoughts down so hey, thanks

[katierosefun]

author interview tag game

thank you for the tag, @pandora15! <3

Name: caroline

Fandoms: mostly the clone wars, but i also have some marvel stuff, and waaay back in the day, i wrote some doctor who and merlin stuff!

Where you post: primarily on ao3! i mostly just write on tumblr when i’m accepting prompts from like...ask games or something.

Most Popular Oneshot: real

Most Popular Multichap: to these memories (this fic only recently hit 1k kudos, and my heart?? w h a t)

Favorite Story You’ve Written: def. to these memories because a) longest fic i’ve ever written, and b) oh, the hours i logged into writing this fic, and c) oh, the outlining that went into this fic...i’m very proud of myself for completing the fic, and of course, i credit this to everyone who showed their lovely support for the story. :’)

Fic You Were Nervous to Post: uhhh definitely too far just because it’s...rather personal. i sometimes say that there’ll be a scene or two or just straight up a line or two that’s plucked out of my real life, and i think it’s inevitable for writers of any kind, including fic writers, to isolate their real lives completely from whatever they’re writing, and?? this fic is probably the most personal for me because of that. i remember kinda hem-hawwing about posting it, because i was like whoa, maybe this is a little too personal? but then i steeled myself and was like, “okay, well, would this have lifted my spirits when i needed a story like this??” and then decided to post it.

How you choose your titles: i def. toss and turn between titles! there’s a few fics of mine that are straight-up song lyrics (no surprise there), but to my surprise (as i was looking through my catalogue of fics just now), i realize that a lot of my fics are usually just words or two about what i think might have been extremely important to the story. (or captures the overall tone/theme of the story, anyways.)

Do you outline? for multi-chapter fics and relatively long one-shots with lots of moving parts, i’ll outline. but for shorter one-shots and prompts, i’ll usually just stick with the image that compelled me to write the prompt/one-shot in the first place! (and then kinda write around that.)

Complete: uhhhhh, i’m gonna answer relatively for all my clone wars fics, because in total, i have 74 completed fics. (make that...75, hopefully in a few minutes or hours!) but out of clone wars fics, i have 46 completed fics! (and again, hopefully 47 in a little while.) a part of me is lowkey hoping that i’ll get up to 100 total fics by the end of this year. a part of me highly doubts it, but given how much i was able to write over summer break, i’m...intruiged if i wind up somehow writing another twenty or so fics by the end of this year. (asfsf my wip list is long enough to fill in for another twenty fics. caroline finish all your wips challenge.)

In Progress: okay, so officially, time, wondrous time is in progress and online. but in terms of the works in progress on my laptop...i have...*mutters, counting* fourteen official wips. (ten of them are one-shots, and the other four are longform fics. one of them, i’m hoping to release next week (!!!), and another, i’m hoping to release hopefully around mid-december. uhhh so fingers crossed??)

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: oops, i guess i kinda already answered that question, but eh, might as well! the one coming out next week (hopefully!! caroline get your shit together challenge!!) is titled most ardently, and it’s an obitine au based off pride & prejudice because i cannot and will not shut up about obitine being the period drama ship out of star wars okay--

and then the other longform fic that is very overdue is called getting lost in a big galaxy, which is a fix-it of sorts taking place after season 5. anakin’s gone missing, and obi-wan winds up going on a galaxy-ride road trip with ahsoka (who, remember, has left the order) to find their idiot. this is honestly my excuse to just write more obi-wan and ahsoka content. hopefully, that’ll be posted in december!! (despite the fact i...originally meant to post it in august oOps.)

and then there’s this other longform fic which...might be coming in early 2021 called red, underlined, which is essentially...uh. everyone’s a stressed out law-school student, and anakin might have accidentally murdered professor palpatine, and now anakin, obi-wan, ahsoka, padme, and rex are all trying to find out what the hell to do with themselves because they’re all in on it. (def. influenced by how to get away with murder except without the criminal justice professor to lead them through the ropes. so more chaos. kind of a dark comedy vibe, if anything else? anakin no is major theme in this one. uh, i mean, maybe anakin was justified in murdering creep palpatine because our gang’s gonna find out what was going on in the background, but either way! lots of “holy shit are we good people are we bad people what are we doing”. lots of questions about morality! ethics! law school student study nights with anakin sprawled out on the floor and obi-wan wearing glasses (which he pushes up the bridge of his nose whenever he’s about to lecture anakin that no, that’s not how that statute works, dumbass) and ahsoka just bringing snacks and rex catching paper airplanes and padme being the one to supply everyone with very neat flashcards. this fic is gonna be an absolute beheamoth, and i’m estimating about 45 chapters? like...130K+ words? help? yeah idk either this really blew up in my head

and then...this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job, which is...office x tcw au. only not? it’s very, very loosely based off the office, but not really. obi-wan moves in as a new manager of a company, and we’ve got anakin being like “lol new guy i’m gonna mess with him”, and ahsoka being the one who’s both like “please don’t mess with our new boss” but also being like “actually, wait, lemme help”, rex being in hr and being like “i don’t get paid enough for this”. (also there’s some parts that are written like actual interviews like you would find in the office, so there’s this one bit where uhhh

Obi-Wan flicks his eyes to the cameras in silent question before turning back to Ahsoka. “Well, if you need to call maintenance, then I hardly think you need my permission—”

“Thanks!” Ahsoka says quickly, and she’s about to disappear from the doorway when Obi-Wan stands up.

“Wait, Ahsoka, what exactly—”

Ahsoka re-appears at the doorway. “Oh, right,” she says. “Um—maybe just stay away from the men’s bathroom for a little bit.” She pauses.

“Actually, just stay away from them for the rest of the day.” She hovers by the door for a minute longer, and then she adds quickly, “And maybe also avoid the breakroom. Everything’s fine!”

And with a perfectly not-fine smile, Ahsoka disappears from the doorway.

Obi-Wan stares at where Ahsoka was just a moment ago, and the he turns to the cameras in disbelief. “Did she just—” Unable to finish his own sentence, Obi-Wan starts out the door. “Ahsoka?”

The camera follows Obi-Wan out of the conference room and into the breakroom. There are only muffled shouts—Anakin’s shouts, and then Rex’s, and then Ahsoka’s frantic “no, sorry, everything’s fine!”, and then Obi-Wan’s loud, “What is going on in here?”

surprise y’all just got a snippet i’m sorry can you tell i’m weirdly into this au?? i need to rewrite some scenes but uh there you go

Prompts: for the most part, yes! i have some stuff in my faq about prompts that i’ll probably turn down (mostly anything that’s...above a certain rating/really, realy heavy themes that i just don’t think i can tackle with justice or with enough education on my end). i can be a little slow with prompts, but i’ll get to all of them in time!

Upcoming Work You’re Most Excited About: uhhhh i have too many that i’m excited about. literally i can write a mini essay on every single one of the fics i’m working on? but uhhh i guess since i already talked about all my major longform fics above (asdfasdfsd didn’t mean to do that, i’m so sorry for everyone who had to scroll past that word-vomit), i guess the one i’m most excited about releasing is the post season 7 obi-wan-and-ahsoka-finally-talk-about-how-they-miss-each-other-also-sorry-for-fighting-with-you-i-know-you-were-just-trying-your-best fic. (not a whole ton of spoilers for this one, but uh. i’m looking at some of these scenes and making frustrated sounds because there’s this one particular instance where i’m like, ahsoka. ahsoka just talk to him just ta lk to him but then lol no talking :)) also maybe some h/c? lowkey sickfic might be involved in this somehow? might have accidentally served as a precursor to to these memories? help? this fic just ballooned. caroline keep your ideas contained challenge!)

No Pressure Tags: @lightasthesun @soplantyourownflowers @ohhellokenobiand anyone else who wants to join!

[theofreakingbell]

Six random facts about me 😊

I was tagged by @littlekinng (tysm!! 🥰) to post six random facts about myself so here goes

1. I accidentally missed watching Biden's inauguration because I was too busy reading canonically LGBT+ victorian era Loki novel (Loki: Where Mischeif Lies) and had forgotten to check when it was. oops.

2. my username is after my fave character from said novel, Theo freaking Bell. I added the freaking cause I feel it is deserved, lol. Nearly everything he does or says in that thing is iconic. I also chose it because I too am disabled, LGBT+, and think Loki Odinson is the cutest

(sidenote, if you haven't read lwml, just know that while it has many cute and wonderful things it also may devastate you or piss you off trememdously. I don't want to spoil anyone, but consider yourself warned. I felt like I felt half the spectrum of possible human emotion reading that thing)

3. (cw for some serious ableism) I once got a guy banned from reddit cause he was saying mean (but comparatively tame to what he did later) things to other autistic people so I kept sending him lists of things to do on the internet when bored and faux sincerely responding to his posts and it really pissed him off and he went on a rant saying how my parents must have wanted to abort me cause no one would want an autistic child and I reported that for harassment and then poof! the next day his account was removed entirely. get fucked, Harrold :)

4. I love clothing / fashion, not like high street / luxury designer kind of fashion but like regular clothing kind of fashion, with an emphasis on sustainable and ethical manufacturing. also deconstructing preconcieved notions about like gender and clothing for instance and the sorts of societal pressures that can make people feel shame for what they want to wear. it's a huge passion of mine, and if my health allows it I was hoping to perhaps start a youtube or instagram or something about it in the future. I have no idea how to describe my personal style other than 'whatever I think is pretty' lol

5. some of my favorite musical artists are Adam Young (a.k.a. Owl City, though he's done other projects), Gabrielle Aplin (UK artist who isn't well known here in the US at all but who I love with all of my heart), Wardruna (I don't know all their songs but I know a few nearly by heart cause I love them, they are endlessly fascinating) and Pussy Riot, but more their ethos and style than their sound, exactly. I've actually talked to Nadya (Tolokonnikova) before, too, and she is the sweetest. also #FreePussyRiot. cannot believe we are having to do that again 😡

6. I picked brodinsons as my tag for Loki and Thor's relationship because I don't like choosing whose name to put first lol, and I think the name is adorable. they are my brotp to end all brotps, and two of my favorite characters ever. I love them so much.

I tag (but only if you want to, please don't feel obligated) @rqnarck & @chicken-soup-666 , and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it ❤️💚

[kn1feinthec0ffee]

in too deep (part 4) - jules 

jules x reader

warnings: for the first time in this story, probably nothing really major!! very vague description of piercing removal?? (this is me trying not to spoil the movie for anyone even though this is the fourth part lol)

notes: this might be a little short, but if you look at the footnotes of the last part, i explained why

also should i say like what’s coming next before every piece like up here in this section or does nobody care bc i would totally do that SO next week is either going to be henry fluff, roman fluff, or roman smut 😳 if i finish them all before next week, you guys can let me know which one you want if you wanna do that

******************

  “i’ve told you a hundred times, the business model is flawless,” you repeated. “every day we roll outta bed, hit the shore, and scoop up a day’s worth of merchandise. you know, nice shiny shells, maybe some skipping rocks; and then we spend the afternoon sellin’ ‘em. it’s pure profit, julie.”

  “yeah, babe, that’s a good idea n’ all, but what happens when we get too big? we’re gonna have to hire a shell finder, and then it won’t be pure profit anymore. that could bleed us dry.” jules countered. 

  “shit, that’s a good point. what if instead of paying him, we give him a chunk of the company? like equity, right?” you suggested. 

  “oh yeah, true.” she murmured. “well we have the business model and all, but what are we gonna call it?” 

you were trying to keep your calm, even in this terrible situation. you found that talking about the future, even though said future was entirely dependent on the fact that the two of you made it out of here alive, helped to quell your anxiety. or maybe it was just the fact that jules had an incredibly calming effect on you. 

  “hmmm, that’s a good one. i feel like that’s all you. i think you’re a little more creative than i am. i’m just the numbers girl.” you responded. the tinny, tapping noise of her tongue stud as she was deep in thought irked you. “babe, could you stop that? i keep tellin’ you, you’re gonna ruin your enam- oh fuck, wait!”

  “what?” she asked confusedly. “your tongue ring! th-the stud!” you exclaimed. “what about it?”

  “the locks- i can pick the locks with it!” you tried to maintain a low volume; after all, this plan didn’t need to be spoiled only moments after it’s conception. 

  “baby, it’s in my tongue,” jules reminded you. “how are you gonna get it out?” you winced as you realized the lengths your girlfriend would have to go to to get the two of you out of here. 

  “maybe if you do that thing that i hate - the one with your teeth - and just kinda pull on it, maybe it’ll just sorta, pop out?” you proposed. you heard a hefty sigh from behind you, hopefully signaling an attempt to escape. 

  “fine, i’ll try it.” you listened silently as she grunted behind you, pulling with all the force her tongue could muster. “sorry, babe, my tongue isn’t strong enough.”

  “no, your tongue is so strong! it’s a great, strong tongue! could you try again?” you begged, but to no avail, jules knew she couldn’t pull it out. “what if you - um - just, like, kinda turn towards me - yeah, yeah, like that, and i just sorta - clamp down on it with my teeth and, y’know, remove it.”

jules spun back around at lightspeed, slamming her mouth shut as she internally cringed at your suggestion. “that’s gonna fucking kill!”

  “i know, baby, i know it’s gonna hurt! believe me, i wish i had the piercing in my tongue, but i don’t.” you hung your head down in desperation. “julie, please, this is our only chance outta here.” 

  “you owe me,” she grumbled in acceptance. you heard the sound of fabric shuffling against the frigid concrete and you turned to meet her halfway. 

  “i owe you.” you whispered to her, placing a quick kiss on the tip of her nose. “you ready?” she nodded, holding her tongue out and closing her eyes as she braced herself for what was sure to be very painful. 

  “okay, one, two,” on three, you yanked your head back, successfully pulling the stud out. she clamped her mouth shut rapidly, trying to contain her scream. before you could praise her, the basement door swung open and in came george holding some sort of food. 

you’ve got to be fucking kidding me, you thought. you kept your mouth sealed, hiding the ring beneath your tongue and hoping that jules would do the same. george approached the two of you, humiliatingly waving a ladle full of the dish in front of your face. 

  “come on, eat up. we don’t want you starvin’ down here now.” george smirked, his expression turning into scowl when you refused the food. “no? well, how ‘bout you?” he shoved the spoon towards jules, but he received the same response. 

  “fine. you’re gonna have to eat at some point, and i don’t particularly give a damn whether it’s my wife’s food or your own goddamn fingers.” he grumbled before heading back upstairs. as soon as the door closed, you heard jules spit the contents of her mouth onto the ground, panting as she took in breaths. “fuck.”

  “shit, that was a close one,” you dropped the ring from your teeth into your open palm. “you good, babe?”

  “yeah,” she groaned at the nasty taste in her mouth. “i just swallowed a bunch of blood. tasted like metal.” 

  “don’t worry, i got it from here.” you prodded at the keyhole with the stud, jabbing at it from every direction you could muster. you sighed as you couldn’t seem to get a good angle on your own cuffs. “fuck.”

  “what is it?” jules asked. “y/n, don’t tell me we just ripped a hole in my tongue for no reason.”

  “no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no way! here just - let me try and get at yours. could you like, sorta, present them to me?” she shuffled into the perfect place just within your reach. “yes, baby! that’s great!”

  “alright you motherfucker. come on, you little piece of shit, fuckin’ dickbag,” you cursed to yourself as you jammed the stud every which way. “you little piece of fucking shit... oh, i fucking got it!” you exclaimed. 

  “oh yes, baby!” jules shimmied out of the cuffs, turning around to press little kisses all over your neck and cheeks. “i love you so much!”

as much as you loved her affection, you loved the idea of escaping this hellhole even more. “alright, alright,” you panted through a smile. “no time to waste. get mine.”

  “okay, what do i do?” she questioned as she took the stud out of your fingers. “you just kind of stick ‘em in there, and then you kinda move it around until you find a catch point.” you answered. 

  “relax and feel it,” you directed, feeling her nimble fingers working the pin into the lock. “yeah, that’s right, just feel it. come on!”

suddenly, you heard a small snap, emanating from the cuffs. “oops,” jules mumbled under her breath. you forgot how to breathe for a moment. “oops?” you wondered out loud. “it, um, it broke.” she spoke so quietly she was nearly whispering. 

  “ohyougottabefuckingkiddingme,” you breathed out, trying to will the lump in your throat and the tears behind your eyes to go away as to not make your girlfriend feel bad. “whe- where’d it break?” you asked, expecting the worst possible answer. 

  “it - uh, it probably broke inside and now it’s just kind of in there!” she panicked. “oh baby. baby, i’m so sorry. i fucked it all up!” her head hit the pole with a soft thud. 

  “no, no, no, no, no, no, no! it’s okay, it’s okay!” you tried to deescalate the situation as fast as you could; the last thing you needed on top of being chained to a post was your girlfriend to have a breakdown. “hey, hey, come over here! c’mere, c’mere!” she crawled in front of you, wringing her head in her hands as she apologized profusely. “hey, it’s okay. you did your best. look, my leg is fucked, i can hardly walk anyways. it doesn’t matter. you got this, okay?”

despite your reassurance, jules still seemed a little shaky. “i- i don’t even know what to do, though. w-what do i do?” she looked over to sweetiepie who was waving her hand at them. “what is it?” she pointed in the opposite direction, directing jules’ gaze to an escape. “holy shit, it’s a laundry chute!” 

a spark set off inside you; maybe getting out of here was possible after all. “can you get up there?” she nodded confidently as if to say ‘of course i can’. she pulled you into a fierce kiss, catching you by surprise. “i love you,”

  “i love you too,” she grinned, making her way over to the chute and hoisting herself up inside, disappearing from your view.

you turned to sweetiepie, a desperate look on your face. “she better make it outta here.”

******************************

oops i may have accidentally went back and watched the movie a fifth time just to refresh myself on some of the dialogue but it was an accident i assure you

tags: @emmyrosee​ @flowers-in-your-hayr​ @willyourecognisemee​ @bill-skarsgard-owns-my-ass​

[remembertatsu]

Selections from Tatsu’s spam on Zakki’s Twitter Account (lol)

[ for the original tweets, visit zakki’s twitter ]

Hey guys~! This is Shi-ma-za-ki No-bu-na-ga (all in katakana) speaking~

My icon is a girl, but I’m actually a guy! Sorry for keeping that a secret until now~

We just finished Free!’s stage greeting~

It was so much fun! Ahahahahahaha!

– Well, or something like that I guess. I haven’t played with other people’s phone for a long time.

Hello, I am a certain somebody who was there on stage (with Zakki).

This must be a shocking amount of tweets to Nobunaga’s followers.

Sry guys ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

I’m just gonna keep tweeting like this!

I mean, there’re only 140 characters to write, how bad could it get?

Ah, beer for me please.

Nobunaga will go with Highball.

Ah, I’ll pay the bill.

Che–ers.

The two of us haven’t sat together like this for such a long time!

It feels so gooood to have a drink after work!!

The typhoon hit us today. Is everybody all right?

Both-of-us-are-fine. (all in katakana)

Nobunaga is talking to my manager.

He already drank five times from his Highball.

It looks delicious (。-`ω´-)

Beer is delicious after all!

Nobunaga has a weird habit of sighing after he laughs.

The people who know this are Nobunaga freaks.

How did my last tweet make people feel?

I’m scared.

But, this is not my (account) so I guess it’s fine.

Hey! Nobunaga! Your battery has only 15% left!

You need to charge it!

‘Kay, I’m gonna keep going until the phone shuts off.

Nobunaga took out his charger stylishly.

He’s hesitating.

Btw, don’t try to hold back your burp!

Let it out.

Phew. All thanks to the charger.

Feel like I can keep on living.

We can even walk around with a cell phone charger nowadays.

Could’ve never imagined that back in the flip phone times.

Nobunaga is watching Free! next to me.

He is taking his time off now.

Nobunaga is checking the type of phone that everybody uses.

There’s also a scene involving phones in the movie, make sure to check* it out♪ [Note: Tatsu made a typo here LOL… He wrote 注文, which means “to order,” instead of 注目, which means “to pay attention to sth.”]

Nobunaga started talking about his favorite scene.

Wait, I’m tweeting right now, don’t say it yet.

I’ll listen to you later.

Please be quiet when I am tweeting.

Video and audio recording are prohibited while I am tweeting. Thank you for your understanding.

The beer tastes so good.

Highball looks good too.

I wonder if everyone has got the character coasters that are given out each week (at Free!’s nation-wide road show)?

We got them all!!

All of them!! We have them all!!!! (*´•ω•`*)…

Isn’t that nice w

Nobunaga is saying, “Everyone (in Free!) has such a nice body♡”

Don’t add the ♡

It’s scary…

He’s like, “Makoto and Sousuke have really impressive body builds♡”

Well, every person has their own way of viewing things

He is looking at Free!’s merchandise page with the manager.

What do you want?

Tell me.

He started to talk about the growth of the characters.

Once Nobunaga started talking, he’s not going to stop for a while.

Also, Nobunaga makes hand gestures when he starts getting serious.

That’s another fun fact about Nobunaga.

Because if he’s not careful, he’s gonna give everything away.

Learning about your own weird habits is a little embarrassing, right~?

Next up is Makoto’s mom!

Hey, he says a mom like that is really nice.

Nobunaga also has an amazing mom, you know?

I was surprised by how young she looked when we met.

She really is a great mom. We met for once at an event.

Nobunaga feels embarrassed having other people talk about his mom, so he went to the bathroom.

He has a soft spot for his mom. Yeah.

By the way, the two of them took a picture together.

It’s a really nice picture of the mother and the son, but Nobunaga is just too shy!

He probably likes his mom a lot.

I heard he likes both of his parents very much.

(To Zakki) Hey, thanks for always making the recording site enjoyable. Having you around always feels reassuring.

Oops. I accidentally said some serious stuff!!（ゝω・）

I’ve been tweeting on someone else’s account for over an hour.

Sry for causing the trouble ʅ(´⊙౪⊙`)ʃ

Someone else’s account? Think twice about what I’m doing? What’s that? Does it taste good? (๑╯ﻌ╰๑)

Tweeting is such a complicated thing!

(Zakki) seems really unhappy about the way we’re being called in the trending tags “Nobunaga-kun” and “Tatsuhisa-san.”

He’s like, “Why is Tatsu-san ‘san’ but I only get to be called ‘kun’!”

Ah, excuse me, two more Highball and some tea please.

Highball is so good.

He’s like, “Hehehe, Tatsu-san is making a lot of typos.” Since I’m typing at this speed, just use your sense to figure out what I mean!

With everything said, thank you so much for coming to today’s event and stage greeting hosted by KyoAni.

Free!’s movie is currently on air.

Since there will be more information released tomorrow,

Whether you know or don’t know about Free!, or have become a little distant from the series, we hope we will bring everyone a pleasant surprise tomorrow.

Thank you for staying with us for all this long.

Getting to come along this way with the characters is a great pleasure to all the cast.

Please look forward to tomorrow. It is our pleasure to bring you a brand-new excitement.

Today is a commemoration for the release of Free!’s special.Thank you for staying with me while I hijacked Nobunaga’s account.

Accompanied you this time is Tachibana Makoto’s voice cast, Suzuki Tatsuhisa.

Next to me, Nobunaga is chatting happily.

Please keep supporting Free!, starting from supporting Nobunaga.

With that said, I hope to see you again somewhere.

Thank you very much. See ya ––– !

[make-me-imagine]

Accidental Meeting: Part 1

Part Two

Prompt: “Fight me, you attractive stranger!” - I changed the prompt slightly to a sentence and description because I can’t imagine anyone yelling this lol

Characters: Fred Weasley x G!N Reader

Triggers: None

Words: 1,397

This gif is tagged as George but lets pretend

Out of all the years you’ve been at Hogwarts, you have never met the Weasley Twins, and you had never even seen them in person. You knew they had red hair, but that was it. You heard so much about their pranks and magic tricks around the school but had yet to be near one when it happened, which you were grateful for. But both unfortunately and fortunately, today that changed.

Walking down the corridor you heard familiar laughs, as you looked up you saw Draco and his friends walked ahead of you, slowing down your walk you waited for them to get a little further ahead. They had never bullied you but you had been the butt of a couple of their jokes in the past so you wanted to avoid them. Well you wanted them to avoid you, you had come close to hexing him a couple times in the past, you thought it best for the both of you if you stayed away.

As they walked around the corner you heard them stop walking and you paused too “Aww, I forgot my textbook” you heard Crabbe complain. 

“Crabbe, you knew I was gonna use your today!” Draco said harshly

“Sorry” you heard Crabbe respond.

Their footsteps started getting closer to you as they had turned around, quickly hiding behind a pillar you waited for them to walk past. When their voices got quieter you began walking again. After rounding a couple corners you were surprised by the sudden lack of gravity. Gasping as your feet came off the ground you dropped your books as your cloak went up and covered your face.

Hearing two people running you thought it might have been Draco and his friends coming back, but after a moment you realized it was someone else, and they were running away. Trying to uncover your face you got a quick glance at the head of one of the boys.

“Hey! You come back here!” you yelled angrily

Fred stopped in his place, looking back at you he realized they had trapped the wrong person, looking over and George who had also stopped running they exchanged a look that said something along the lines of “oops”

You heard the footsteps coming closer to you as you heard a small chuckle “Well your definitely not Malfoy”

“No I am not, now let me down!” you said as you spun in the air, your cloak moved from your face briefly as you got a look at the cute boy standing in front of you. But hearing him only laugh again you huffed in anger.

“I’m not sure I want to with how angry you sound!” he said laughing silently

“Fight me!” you yelled to the attractive stranger.

Laughing harder he grabbed your cloak to keep you still, flipping you so your feet were pointing towards the ground you heard the other boy near him say a spell as you dropped down, loosing your footing you fell back onto your butt. Getting your bearings you looked up at the boy, glancing at the other behind him that looked exactly like him.

Realizing who they were you huffed out “Weasley Twins, I should have known”

The boy smiled down at you “You know us but I don’t ever recall meeting you”

“We’ve never met, but I have heard of you. Besides, you are the only two red headed twins that like to pull pranks that I know of” you said standing up and straightening your robe out.

"They’ve got a point” you heard his brother say from behind him, which caused you to smile lightly.

“Yeah, well sorry about that, we were trying to prank Draco and his goons” he said scratching the back of his head feeling guilty as you started to pick up your spilled books and papers.

Reaching down and picking one up from next to his feet he looked up to see you right in front of him reaching for the same book. He stared into your eyes for a moment when you spoke up.

“Can I have my book please” you said quietly, shy now that you were so close.

“Oh, yeah sorry” he said handing it too you.

Standing up again, the boy in front of you reached out his hand  “I’m Fred, this is my brother George”

Smiling lightly you shook his hand “y/n”

He smiled at you “Sorry again” 

“It’s alright, now that I know you were trying to get Draco I forgive you, but only a little” you said playfully glaring at the boys, causing them to smile at you “Draco and his friends were in front of me for a while but they went back to get a book. So if you still want to prank them I suggest you hurry” you said with a mischievous look on your face.

The brothers exchanged an amused look, George smiled widely “I like you!”

Smiling at him you look at Fred who is beaming at you “Wanna stay and help?”

Thinking for a moment you smiled to yourself, you would love to see that jerk pay for some of the things he’s done. You nodded your head “Yeah!”

After you set up the prank you three waited behind the pillar in silence, thinking for a moment you spoke up “How did you know Draco would be coming this way earlier?”

Fred turned his head and smiled at you “He always goes this way to his class in the mornings”

Smiling back at him you heard voiced coming this way, straining to listen you clearly heard Dracos voice as he scolded his friend for something. You heard them come closer and as soon as they were standing in the right spot Fred moved his wand and muttered something. Suddenly you heard the sound of books hitting the ground and the yelling of the three boys. 

Putting your hand over your mouth to silence your laugh you looked at the two boys who were doing the same. But Draco still heard “Hey! Whose there! I’ll kill you, you hear me! My father will have your head!”

Rolling your eyes at the overused line you looked at the twins as they motioned their heads towards the corridor for you to start running. Running out of the corridor hearing Draco still yelling obscenities you laughed out loud as the brothers highfived. 

“You know, I had always heard rumors that you two pulled pranks like this all the time, but this is the first time I’ve ever actually seen it”

They smiled at you as Fred spoke up “Well, at least you didn’t accidentally get one of our worse pranks, that was mild compared to some others we’ve pulled”

You gave them a judgmental but amused look “And you haven’t been caught by a professor yet?”

“Oh, no. We’ve been questioned in the past but we never leave proof behind” George said proudly, earning a chuckle from you.

Hearing a loud thud from the corridor and McGonnagals raised voice you and the twins exchanged a frightened look.

“Run” Fred said before grabbing your hand and dragging you down another corridor while George ran in front of the both of you.

After running for a minute you stopped in another corridor. Stopping and catching your breath you all exchanged looks before busting out laughing. Holding your stomach, George pointed his finger at you but looking over at Fred.

“I think we found a new accomplice” he said to his brother, Fred looked at you with a glint in his eye.

“oh no, no no. I’m not getting involved with your pranks” you said pointing at them, they just smiled at you “No!” 

Fred smiled at you “I think you’ll change your mind” 

Looking at him for a moment as he stared at you, you felt a blush creep onto your cheeks. Clearing your throat you pointed at them “Don’t be so sure” you smiled at them as you turned to walk away.

“But our secret is safe with you right?!” Fred yelled to you.

Turning briefly you smirked at him “Ask me later!” 

Fred smiled at your response as a he watched you leave. Turning towards his brother he saw a mischievous look on Georges face. “What?”

“Ohh, nothing” George said before turning and walking away.

“George. George!” he said quickly following his brother, knowing he was up to something.

Requested by anon

**Part Two**

[bleucheesy]

Heya, just realized your header said this was a lance blog, so if my prev. Ask was invalid, here are another two to choose from, hance 37 or kolivance 10. Sorry again for that, and thanks again for the awesomeness

No worries! I’m definitely a multi-shipper for all characters. Lance is just my favorite~ (Hunk is my second fave) and speaking of…I can’t resist your Hance request ^^

#37 Meeting in prison AUHance/Leg Day - Hunk and LanceBefore they met, Garrison days, Canon-divergentFeat. Pidge and Matt Holt

Hunk paced the floor of the small holding cell, staring down at his feet. He was in so much trouble. How on Earth was he going to get out of this? What would his mom think?! 

Oh gosh. His mom. She was going to kill him. 

And what about his scholarship? Out the window. He was going to have to wash dishes in the Garrison kitchen until he paid back the tuition he just blew by getting himself expelled.

He was in for it. He was–

“Hey, could you maybe sit down?” a voice pulled him from his depression spiral. Hunk looked up and noticed, for the first time, that he wasn’t alone in his cell. “There, that’s better,” the other boy said. He was probably Hunk’s age, with long limbs and a kind - though rather mischievous - expression on his face. He opened his mouth again, his dark blue eyes sparkling with mirth. “I was starting to get dizzy.” 

“Oh. Uh. Sorry.” Hunk swallowed and moved to sit on the side of the bench that the other wasn’t currently sprawled out upon. He was no longer pacing, but bouncing his knee, his fingers drumming on his thigh. He was in so much trouble–

“You okay?” the other boy asked.

Hunk turned and suddenly he was face to face with his cellmate. He jerked back in surprise, but it didn’t appear to phase him.

“You seem…stressed,” he said, cocking his head to the side.

Stressed? Stressed?! Stressed wasn’t the half of it. Hunk had gotten himself arrested! Arrested! He wasn’t going to last a day in prison! Though, honestly, he feared what awaited him on the outside even more.

(for mobile, continue reading here)

“You’re from the Garrison, too, huh?” He gestured toward Hunk’s uniform. He was still wearing it! Ugh, he should have changed.

“…yeah,” he answered, mind still reeling as he tried to calculate just how much trouble he was in.

“So, what’d you do?” the boy continued, leaning back against the wall and playing with his short crop of dark hair.

Hunk wet his lips, opening his mouth to reply, but he faltered. He had the right to remain silent, didn’t he?

Well, that didn’t stop the other boy from continuing their conversation all on his own. “Breaking and entering for me,” he said coolly, like it was something to brag about. “I wanted to log some extra time in on the flight simulator. You know, see if I could get myself bumped up to fighter class at the next test.” Then he sighed. “Guess I sort of botched that, huh?”

Unsure what to say, Hunk nodded. The other boy didn’t seem like a delinquent. And, honestly, his crime wasn’t completely terrible. He just wanted to practice after hours.

“The name’s Lance, by the way,” he said, finally introducing himself. “And you are?”

“Oh.” Hunk shot up, turning toward him and stretching out his hand. “Hunk.”

“Hunk,” Lance repeated, taking the offered hand. “Nice. It suits you.”

With a slight flush, Hunk bobbed his head, retracting his hand and setting it on his lap.

“So, Hunk. Now that we’re acquainted,” Lance went on, “You wanna tell me what a nice-looking kid like you did to end up behind bars?”

Hunk grimaced. For a millisecond, he’d forgotten about his current predicament. “Uh.” He cleared his throat. Lance had shared with him. It was only fair. “I’m, uh…pledging the science fraternity.”

At that, Lance’s thin eyebrows shot up. “Whoa. So, you’re, like, super smart, then.”

“Not smart enough to avoid getting arrested,” Hunk replied dryly. “We were in the middle of initiation and they said all new members had to do it, so…” he trailed off with a sigh. “Anyway, I don’t know why I let them talk me into egging the faculty barracks.”

Lance stared at him, wide-eyed. “Oh…my…”

“I know!” Hunk lamented. “And it wouldn’t have been so bad, but, uh, one of the other new guys sort of…accidentally…um…” He bit his lower lip. “…hit Iverson in the face when he came out to see what all the noise was…”

“Oh, no! Seriously?!” Lance doubled over, clutching his stomach as he erupted with laughter. “I would love to have seen that!”

“Yeah, well. It wasn’t pretty,” Hunk clarified, though he felt the corners of his lips start to quirk up.

“Hold on. Hold on.” Lance stopped laughing and wiped at his eyes. “If you weren’t the one who hit him, then how did you end up in here? Where are they?”

“Well, I couldn’t let them get caught!” Hunk defended. “Besides, they seemed to be pretty scared of Iverson, so-”

“Ugh. Who isn’t?” Lance snorted. “Okay, so you made a little mess. No big deal.” He shook his head. “They’ll let you off with a warning…and some community service, if you know what I mean.” He pantomimed what Hunk could only assume was scrubbing.

Oh. Hunk hoped so. He wasn’t cut out for the slammer.

“Anyway.” Lance stood up just as the door to the room swung open. In walked a security guard and another man in his twenties. “Thanks for picking me up…again.”

“You’re lucky it was me who got the call and not mom,” he said, sparing Hunk a quick glance before turning his full attention on Lance. “C’mon. Let’s go before they change their mind about releasing you.”

Lance had the decency to look sheepish as the guard unlocked the cell. Then he turned toward Hunk. “See? No big deal. I’m sure you’ll be out of here in no time, big guy.”

Hunk gulped, but nodded, watching as Lance was led out of the room.

Not even two minutes passed before the door swung open again, with such a force that it slammed against the wall. Pidge burst in, tears filling their eyes. And right behind them was the chapter president of the fraternity, their older brother, Matt.

“Hunk!” Pidge gripped the bars. “I’m so sorry this happened! This is all my fault!”

Getting over his initial shock, Hunk walked over to them, placing a hand over theirs. “Hey, it’s okay. Better me than you.” At that, Pidge sobbed.

“Well, lucky for the both of you, I was able to pull some strings,” Matt said, flicking his bangs out of his eyes.

“I should hope so!” Pidge snapped. “This is your fault, too, Mr. President.”

Matt flushed for a moment before he continued, “Hunk will be released and you’ll both get off with a simple letter of apology.”

Hunk blinked. “That’s it?” 

“That’s it,” Matt confirmed.

“And my…mom doesn’t know?” he questioned.

“Hey,” Matt began. “What happens in Psi Phi, stays in Psi Phi.”

“Your frat needs a better name,” Pidge remarked and then stepped away from the bars.

The guard unlocked the door and Hunk was free. It almost seemed too good to be true. But it was exactly as his cellmate had said. “Lance was right,” he mused.

“Who?” Pidge asked and then Hunk shook his head, banishing the thoughts of the cute boy who’d calmed him down.

“Nothing,” he said before his stomach gave a mighty growl. “Hey, think the kitchens are still open?”

Oops. This went long. ^^;; I hope you liked it, though! Thanks for the ask!! ♥Thanks for reading it over @francowitch (I really need to remember to tag people more often. I get so much help, lol)

Please send me a VLD ship and a number