#or how about a concept i came up with at work where after anti stole jacks body jack was still alive behind antis eyes

[fishedeyelenz]

I'm gonna be so upfront with you, DILF Billy is still a new concept for me personally but I'm already obsessed with it. BEGGING for some tasty random headcanons abt him, anything and everything I can get my grubby little baby hands on so I can open my head up and pop em right in my brain 🤲

ok let me see what comes to mind first

Has chronic back pain problems that developed from a lifetime of sleeping in places he shouldn't have slept in. It's mostly his lower back, but honestly his whole back needs a good massage

Works as a cinema projectionist (this au takes place 90s, 20 years later after the movie) it's a job that doesn't require that much interaction with other people, so his anti social ass isn't so overwhelmed

Almost everything he owns is bought from flee markets or thrift stores, his whole house is pretty mismatched and a bit cluttered

Everything is also covered in cat hair from his six cats

Bad and naughty kitties get put into the sock of shame for time out

Dresses eighter in a sloppy white T and sweatpants or like Guillermo What we do in the Shadows. On special occasions he dresses like a laid back college English professor but that's only for formal events

Bitch is blind as a bat

Can cook!!! Omg they though him how to cook in psych ward and he's decently good at it let's go!!!!!

Favorite things to make are french toast, pesto pasta, some sort of home cooked stew of his own making and Mac and cheese

Unsocial but loves playing board games lol things like monopoly, ludo, various card games etc.

Number one Garfield fan, cuts out every strip out of various newspapers and magazines he collects, and keeps the in a special drawer (different from his other special drawer wink wink, nudge nudge)

Also owns a Garfield plush he broke out of a claw machine

Has an extensive VHS collection of movies of various genres, from the most acclaimed movies to low budget art films to porn. Most of the tapes were stole though

Doesn't understand kids these days

God, there's more from where that came from, if anybody has anymore questions about him feel free to ask

[deepfriedseagullfeet]

me spending all day in bed thinking of all the ways my version of Jack could be even more fucked up and horrific than anti 

[hasegawasosise]

In Numbers We Trust

Summary:

Prompt master: @outoftheframework

I like the concept of each of the kids having a number or having a thing where they count off. Not in a demeaning or dehumanizing way at all, just more so to use in dangerous situations. For example, a bomb goes off on patrol, and to quickly see if everyone is okay, the kids (including Steph and Babs) automatically start counting one at a time. Bruce can breathe again once the count reaches eight. This tradition begins to carry over to civilian life when the kids yell numbers across a crowded gala after the power goes out.

Beta Agenthandler

Bruce never planned on starting a family. He made a vow to live for justice. He would be the force Gotham needed. He would be the forever bachelor. Justice was his Lady Love.

But 90% of life’s plan was just that—a plan. Bruce would never have guessed he'd end up taking in a boy who called himself Dick Grayson. Technically his ward, but Bruce suffered a mid-life crisis every day from thereon, wondering whether it was the right choice for him to adopt a kid—or why anyone sane would let Bruce Wayne adopt any kid in the first place. It was a testament to Dick’s own awesomeness that he grew up to be a mostly functional adult—Bruce definitely wasn’t.

After Dick, he recruited an amazing girl named Barbara Gordon as another sidekick. She was not officially his adopted daughter, but by day two of working together Bruce registered her in his little hind brain as “my kid.”

Then another. Jason Todd not only stole the Batmobile’s tires but also Batman’s heart. The little boy taught Bruce more about street-smarts and how to be a better person right until his death. His realized depth of parental love made him wonder why he ever adopted anyone in the first place—and ended up losing them that way.

After what he thought was the last, another one came into his life without invitation. Timothy Drake was a genius detective. Out of his first four—yes, Bruce could still count—Tim was the most similar to Bruce. They had the same kind of upbringing amidst the Gotham Elite, they were both highly focused and detail oriented individuals. Tim was even smarter than Bruce, and he was the sole reason Bruce could continue functioning after Jason’s death. Tim was also the only one to believe he was still alive and brought Bruce back from when he was lost in time.

After Time was Stephanie Brown. A cheerful ray of sunshine that had her own worries, but could function the best out of all his children. She had the kind of light sarcastic humor to brighten up Bruce’s darker days. He gained a third daughter, Cassandra Cain, the most accomplished amongst his children in terms of stealth and combat, also his one darling princess.

Then Bruce was introduced to his—one and only—blood son, a little baby assassin who had the unfortunate tendency to stab first ask later. By this time, Bruce had a better handle on raising children highly susceptible to raising hell and violence (read: still an incompetent parent, but he knew how to tune out their nagging) and had no choice but to assign Dick  with Damian’s education on humanities and socialization.

He also had Helena, Terry, Matt, Duke, and Harper.

Bruce lost count.

It was the ultimate testament to Bruce’s parenting skill. He sometimes couldn’t remember how many kids he had. He could lose them in a Walmart and forget he was missing one. But thankfully, he had a secret weapon.

Since Jason, he assigned them all numbers. Dick was one, Barbara was two, Jason three, Timothy four, Stephanie five, Cass six,  Damian seven—although he always said he was the first—Duke was eight, Harper nine, Terry ten, Matt eleven, and little Helena was twelve.

Imagine that. Bruce had twelve kids. What was his vow again? Lady Love Justice? Don’t know her.

It became sort of a tradition. When the kids entered the Wayne manor, each of them wrote their number on the info board down in the changing room. They were also listed on a desktop note of the BatComputer. It became a ritual in which the last child would add their newest sibling into the list, so they knew who the next number was supposed to be, and that next child would be who they were responsible for. Well, except Dick who accepted all of them as his baby chicks. The number also became a little part of their identity—each of them would put their numbers on everything they owned from their doors to their batarangs to the containers in the fridge.

Bruce, most importantly, used the numbering system to check in on them. It started when Penguin detonated a bank and his robins were scattered fighting all the hundred thugs Penguin hired to keep Batman busy. The blast stopped the fight and Bruce’s heart dropped when he realized his coms were damaged and he immediately couldn’t keep sight of them. He immediately tried to think what he could do, and when he did,  he shouted at the top of his lungs.

“KID COUNT!”

“One!” Nightwing shouted from the top of the next building. Apparently he flew off the bank’s  roof when he realised it was going to burst.

Oracle was two but he knew she was safe in the clock tower.

“Three,” Red Hood drawled. Bruce wondered why he joined in, but was thankful nonetheless.

“Four,” Red Robin shouted from the opposite direction, because he was the sensible one who directed the civilians and police to safety.

“Five!” Spoiler laughed and flew to his side. “That was a doozy!”

“Six,” Black Bat said as she appeared beside Spoiler where they shared a hi-five.

“Seven,” Robin pulled out his swords from a thug’s leg. “Father, I need to clean my sword immediately.”

“No stabbing, please.” “Too late.” Bruce groaned.

“...Eight?” Signal. He was still new to the numbering system.

Batman let go a deep relieved sigh.

The police and civilians who were fortunate to witness the scene, collectively said ‘Oh’. It became a trending twitter before Tim deleted the topic as much as he could.

********

The counting continued though. Citizens who have lots of children (such as parents, teachers, sometimes even the Police teams), realised it was a quick method to ensure update of their progeny/students/teams condition. So they  The counting became sort of a Gotham Trend and eventually enlisted into Gotham’s Emergency SOP. Imagine that, having too many kids to count gave birth to a crucial disaster first-aid first responder procedure.

In all actually, maybe that was one of the top major contributions Batman has given to his city.

********

The kids themselves slowly embraced the importance and fun of the numbers. It created a sort of camaraderie-- even when the numbers didn’t correlate with their height. It used to be a nice isoquant curve when they stood side by side. But after Jason’s growth spurt and Tim naught growth spurt, Steph finding high heels and Cass love for Anti-flood Boots, the nice isoquant curve just became a jagged line not unlike a heartbeat rate.  

That aside, the numbering also slowly bled into their civilian lives:

1.

All of them counted before they entered the GothMart -- Alfred was there too, and suddenly Bruce became number 0. He was there to help Alfred because herding the kids was a massive job.

Dick was back for the weekend to spend time with his “babies” and refused to stay at home, because he wanted to sneak in his grocery list (gummy bears and cereals) into Bruce’s list so he could bring it back to Bludhaven and not spend a dime on it.  

Jason was there because Alfred asked him for help--he was the only one out of the brood with cooking talent and generally all responsible in the kitchen, i.e. Alfred could trust Jason to use his kitchen without blowing it up (shoutout to Tim and Duke who blew the kitchen for the fifth time this year).

Barbara stayed at home, watching over their base, but she was ready with her surveillance just in case they lost one of the broods.

Tim was half dragged, because he had spent the last 30 hours awake doing Bruce-knew-what, and only agreed to be dragged with the promise of sweet, abominable GothMart coffee with pink glitter (a cheap imitation of Starbucks, really) because Tim was fabulous especially after thirty hours of no sleep. And the surprisingly awesome coffee was a dollar--what kind of frugal millionaire didn’t appreciate a dollar of drinkable coffee?

Steph was the one who dragged Tim, with the help of Cass who just returned from Hong Kong for the weekend. Steph wanted to buy some new bras for Cass, something cool and sexy she could enjoy immensely. Bruce was not privy in this knowledge.

Damian was there to ensure his embarrassment of siblings didn’t kill themselves or humiliate the family. Wayne was his legacy afterall, and all of them reflected on his legacy, whether he liked it or not. Duke, the only one whom he could tolerate outside Cassandra (Grayson was mother) just poked his cheek and grinned. Duke might be tolerable, but it didn’t mean Damian didn’t want to stab him sometimes (Drake, on the other hand, looked like a nice pincushion to stab his sword into).

They counted 0 to 8 before they entered, orchestrated by Alfred.  

When they were ready for the checkout, 4, 5, and 6 were missing. Bruce finally found them at the children section, where Tim was busy defending his virginity from a Superboy Plushie, while Steph convulsed with laughter on the floor and Cass video-ed the entire thing.

Bruce refused to buy the cereals (Dick) / sexy lingerie (nope, nope, nope) / kitchen knife collection in black (Damian, as they didn’t need another stabby collection). But Bruce ended up buying the superboy plushie because it had been tainted (the store manager glared at him the whole check out time). At least Tim looked ashamed enough when he was handed the superboy plushie.

2.

The gala was in full swing, full of important people and not-so important moochies. Bruce was entertaining a group of usual donors (important and fun people!) while he saw Tim seriously discussing the stock exchange trends with several old, serious men. Dick was charming the usual group of ladies and young men, while Cass seemed to be hiding behind the potted plan.

Then, just like usual in Gotham, the lights went off. The room suddenly became dark and people started to scream.

“KID COUNT!” Bruce shouted. “Zero,” he added because of habit.

“One!” “Three!” “Four!” “Five and Six!” “Seven.” “Eight” “Nine.”

Wait, did he bring Harper with him? Harper was allergic to this kind of gala--and that was why he never fully adopted her into his Wayne name.

Oh well. The more number he got, the better.

Justice Lady love who?

[crimsonblazw]

Yua Yaiba is underrated

What I mean is while she definitely has her fans she herself is either thought of as underwritten/ignored (or "evil" in a take I VERY MUCH don't agree with) when at least to me she has a very underrated arc I think gets overlooked because of how subtle it is (which imo fits her character).

Let's talk about where she starts in the show; she's initially cold in contrast to Fuwa's hotheadedness and her alleged opinion of Humagears is that they're only tools and nothing more. This made me think her arc would be about her accepting Humagear sentience,but that wasn't quite it.

One of Yua's first display of character development came after the incident where Metsubojinrai stole Zaia's mechs where she excitedly ponders the growth potential of humagears before retreating into her facade after Izu questions her over her apparently sabotage of Hiden enterprises.

This leads into her loyalty to Gai and why she continued to be his right hand enforcer despite his apparent evilness and her reoccurring doubt.

Before I put all that under a microscope I want to bring up the potential symbolism of her forms.

In general superpowers/costumes/motifs can be used as symbolism the characters that own them, toku is no different in this sense and while the meaning of a toku character's motif can vary in meaningo I think Zero-one has pretty strong symbolism in it's choices.

Aruto's choice of animal motifs are either the "king" of their domain (signifying his presidency) or are the ever evolving collection of Grasshoppers (signifying his flat arc and how no matter the challenge he'll adapt and overcome),Fuwa gets agressive animals (befitting his initial rage) while his final form is a "menagerie" to symbolize his new freedom and ability to be whatever he wants.

Yaiba has animals that are fast (because she's direct and effective),but they're animals that could also be associated with independence (hornets are a bit of a stretch but think of them as "anti-bees").

In reality Yua's concept of independence was a delusion and didn't mesh with her absolute loyalty to Gai,which is why it's all to fitting when she abandons her KR Valkyrie identity for the Jackal.

She completely gives in to the identity of being Gai's loyal attack dog which mirrors Fuwa and Naki's wolf motif,all three being Canines due to their (forced) loyalty to Gai.

Torwards the beginning of the third arc Yua discards Fighting Jackal and tag teams Gai with Fuwa before signing her resignation with a fist to her former boss's face. This may all seem like an abrupt direction for her character, especially because we seemingly didn't get into Yua's motivations or any follow up on her opinions about Humagears beyond allegedly having hang ups about being seen/used as a tool,but in reality we have everything we need to understand her situation.

The overall theme of Zero-one is free will and what it trully means. From my understanding robots in fiction began as a metaphor for the abuse of factory workers and as a result is a blunt criticism of capitalism (and still continues to be). A major part of capitalism's "effectiveness" is the removal of a citizens identity/personhood in favor of them being a loyal work machine to helpless to stray from it's grasp.

Gai is a capitalist supervillain on par with Lex Luthor who in true supervillain fashion abused Yua by threatening to cause her pain/control her with the chip implanted in her brain, ensuring she'd be loyal out of fear and to afraid to fight back. Abuse of this nature (threats/actions to keep someone in line) are an all to common tactic by bosses to enforce the previously mentioned capitalistic ideals,ideals Yua felt she needed to adhere to in order to keep herself safe (a rough real world equivalent would be someone being threatened with termination or the like and not speaking up because they need their job to live).

And additional layer to this is how abuse of this nature can lead to being complicit in the simultaneous abuse of a fellow employee (which in this case would be Fuwa).

To sum it up Yua was an abuse victim who felt like she couldn't do the right thing out fear of what Gai (her abuser) would do to her as a parallel to any worker afraid to speak against their boss in fear of losing their job and therefore their ability to live; her hatred/rejection of being called a tool being a manifestation of not wanting to confront the ugly truth of the role Gai has forced upon her,which if she where to would mean acknowledging his view of her and humagears are the same,which conflicts with her perceived independence.

And in the end she would confront that ugly truth and choose her autonomy and compassion over Gai/Zaia and became "worthy" of her animal motif (s) after achieving true independence (which is probably why she never uses Jackal again),and after having put all that together in my head this moment;

Is that much sweeter.

And yeah her trajectory hasn't been perfect (like how she didn't do to much during the beginning of the second arc) and I think she could still use some more fleshing out (Let's go V-cinema) I think she's a solid character and I hope that even with the perceivable flaws with her handling she leads to even more (and evenbetter) female riders.

If you read this far than you, don't be afraid to leave your thoughts and I encourage you to share/reblog this (no pressure).

[onisiondrama]

I skipped ahead with my video summaries for his Speaks channel because I heard a lot of interesting things about this video and I wanted to watch it myself. After this I’ll go back to where I left off and continue to write summaries for videos I find interesting.

I want to note a week before this video he stopped making his Speaks videos fundraisers / for charity. (You can see the word Fundraiser under the videos if they are for charity.)

Comments and likes / dislikes are disabled for this video.

(Note: I’m not repeating stories he’s told before and just putting them in parenthesis. I have a lot more videos to go until I’m caught up so that would save me a lot of time. If he gives details I never heard from him before, I will type those.)

“hiatus” November 1, 2020 Speaks

He says this is probably the last OnisionSpeaks video ever. He’s jokingly said that in the past and have done a lot of “I quit” videos, but back then he was trolling. This is not a troll and you don’t have to believe it him. You’ll see it’s true when he no longer posts videos to this channel.

(Times the internet called the police and animal control on him stories, pizza delivery trolls.) He implies you guys are hypocrites because you call animal control over alleged abuse toward animals, but then you’ll pay for animals to be killed and sent to him when you would order meat lover’s pizzas to his house. Says they’ll be studying the psychology of the stupidity of the Anti-Onision community for years.

He says he’s going to have his word here because this is his last video on Speaks.

(Shiloh said she was going kill herself to frame him story.) He says we used a video he filmed of her ranting about how he ruined her life. All because he broke up with her. He says you may not know, but some people are really like that.

He compliments his lighting in this video.

You know he didn’t do anything Anti-O accuses him of because when animal control, CPS, and the police show up they all turn out to be a fraudulent cases. You guys harass, terrorize, and bully someone until you get your way. Says it’s ironic because you say he’s a horrible person yet you lie to the police, animal control, and CPS.

(Someone tried to get him swatted story.)

(Twitter MAP troll story.) He says pedophiles are disgusting and they should have their balls chopped off. Pedophiles are attracted to prepubescent children. There’s nothing attractive about prepubescent children. Someone can’t have a pedophilic relationship with a 12 year old without the 12 year old being a victim. They are nowhere near socially, mentally or physically developed enough for such an interaction. People obsess over this concept, which makes him think they are projecting, and they project that onto him. 

(Shiloh was taken away by the police story.) He tells his viewers to look up the police report. He says his name was Gregory Daniel at the time, he lived in the Tacoma, Washington area, and it was 2011. You might find a report for “boyfriend calls cops on girlfriend for threatening to kill herself and making it look like he did it and was hauled away by police.” He says if you look further back, you will see when he called the cops on Shiloh for other things and police concluded she needs to leave him alone because he was being harassed by her.

People say Onision should be in jail, but if you look at the history it doesn’t make sense. He dumped these people for committing crimes.

(People take pictures of his kids in public.) He says that’s how sick Anti-O freaks are. He’s trying to be a good father and protect the privacy of his children. He never tried to cash in on them or exploit them. [I guess minus all the clickbait videos he made to look like he was introducing them and the videos he made about their medical conditions. I don’t mean to nitpick, I just REALLY hate those videos.]

He has an Only Fans so there’s a pay wall so only adults can see his content. He says unless you steal someone’s credit card but that’s a while other issue and illegal on their part. Anti-O leak his OF content so now it’s available for kids. They’re the most pedophilic disgusting group he’s ever encountered.

Says CPS literally apologized to him for how degusting Anti-O groups are every time they showed up. You guys are like an evil cult.

He says CPS was called again.

He says he has a VPN, so he activates this thing and no one can trace his IP address. He says he used an IP blocker to access- [He laughs] “Most honest Youtuber here.” [This is his first time admitting this online, that’s why he’s stalling.] He used it to access “Ghetto Definitions” or “Street Definitions” [He means Urban Dictionary] “Onision” was ranked as “cuck” and the ones below it were nice. He wanted the nice definitions at the top so he used a VPN to vote for the good definitions to go to the top and it worked. They stayed at the top for a while. He says that was the first time he found out about IP blockers. He’s telling you this because he’s one of the most honest people you’ll ever encounter and lot of you are too stupid to know that. [Yep, pretending to be multiple people to manipulate a website that is based on voting is very honest.]

Says a lot of the people against him have admitted to being liars and he’s telling you he’s honest. That’s how stupid you guys are.

He made a poll asking if he or Hitler killed more people. You guys said Onision did, that’s how rational you are. Morons, cult of inbreds. [He was obviously looking for that outcome. That’s why he made that poll. He knows people will pick him because they think it’s funny and not because they are going off of historical facts. No one makes a serious poll asking if they killed more people than Hitler.]

He says “Ghetto Definitions” is now all filled with evil definitions that call him horrible things.

He says according to the CPS lady, someone reported Onision posted to Twitter that he was going to r-a-p-e and murder his family. He asks why would someone “r-a-p-e”? Murder? Go online and brag about it? He says it makes no sense. He says you’d mask your IP if you’re going to say something horrible online so it can’t be traced back to you. Says he’s never used a VPN to say something horrible, but doing that would be common sense.

This is why he’s quitting this channel. People can’t handle him having a controversial opinion or him kicking people out of his life for cheating and lying.

[He warned you about Shane, Social Repose, Blaire White, Shiloh stories] [Shiloh cheated and stole his money story] [Shiloh blog story]

He says Jaclyn Glenn and Blaire White are terrified of livestreaming with him. Blaire livestreamed with him 3 times and now she’s scared. He says one time she offered to livestream with him and he told her she needs to find a more productive way to spend her time. Shortly after she got canceled. She took the email he sent and said he’s trying to manipulate her. [I guess I missed the part where she was scared? They streamed three times and he rejected her recently for a stream?]

Blaire White is the one who started the witch hunt against him. She read off a news article that was bull crap. [It was not. You can read an archive of the article here.] She got canceled for admitting to taking hateful online rumors and using them in videos. He says she kind of canceled him in 2016, but he got re-cancelled later on. She was one of the leading voices against him when talking to Chris Hansen.

[Hansen is a fraud stories]

He says it’s one thing to go after him, but when you go after his family, we can’t do this anymore. You guys are fucking monsters so why would he grace you guys with his insight?

You guys have heroes like Jaclyn, Blaire, Repzion, Hansen and all these people who lie to you. They take your money and piss in your mouth and call it lemonade. The truth is right in front of you, screaming in your face and you only listen to Blaire and Repzion.

[He lists things he’s already mentioned about times he called people out and they wind up doing something shitty later on] He says you guys would blow up the car of the scientist who is trying to warn you the Earth is warming. You deserve a world that’s on fire because you don’t listen. You play dirty, attack people’s families, you try to get people swatted, you try to get their pets and children taken away, arrested, all because you disagreed with him or he dumped you.

He says he made a video about how he wouldn’t date anyone with BPD and Sarah came out and admitted to sexually extorting him.

The Anti-o cult has no morals. There was a guy with an orange shirt who was debating him in a livestream. They guy was warning a girl to watch out for Onision. She’s a fucking adult and he wasn’t interested in her. The orange shirt guy tried to reach out to the girl after the stream ended. It was actually orange shirt guy who wanted to fuck her and he was projecting.

He says he’s going to end the channel with one of his favorite quotes ever. [here we go] “You either die a FUCKING hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the CUNT ASS villain.”

[crowdedimagines]

Sleepover - David Dobrik

Living with David was one of the best moves for your relationship. Being close and always coming home to each other was perfect after busy days of work.

I first met David through Natalie. I grew really close with her when we were both sent by brands to go on a trip to Hawaii. Neither Natalie or I knew other people on the trip so we became close. After we came back, we kept in contact. After becoming so close so quick it felt weird not talking to each other constantly. I’ve never made a best friendship so quickly. It didn’t take long for me to meet David after that. I didn’t want to like him at first, but he’s so persistent and sweet. We started dating a few weeks after meeting. Now it’s been a year since I met Natalie and I’ve moved in.

“I’m home!” I cheer, walking into the house. I kick off my shoes at the door, David is sitting in the living room with a movie on the TV.

“How was your day?” David asks, pausing the movie turning to look at me.

“It was good. Lots of good meetings for future projects.” I run a hand through his hair, ruffling it slightly.

“That’s exciting.”

“Where’s Nat?” I ask, it’s almost time to get dinner so it’s odd to not find her out here.

“In her room. It’s been a rough day for her.”

“What? What are you talking about?” I ask shocked.

“I don’t know, she won’t talk to me. She’s just in a mood.”

I roll my eyes knowing that there must be something upsetting her.

“I’m gonna go check on her.” I pat David’s chest before walking to Natalie’s room. I knock softly on the door.

“David, I told you I don’t want to talk to you.”

“What if I’m not David?” I ask, letting myself in.

She nods and scoots over on her bed which I take as an invitation to join her. I lay down parallel to her and face her.

“What’s going on?”

She pauses for a couple seconds before diving into everything that’s going on that’s upsetting her. A mixture of issues with her family back home, ex boyfriends, and overall life sucks are what produce the ‘bad mood’.  

“What can I do to help?” I ask after we’ve talked for a while.

“Nothing.” She sniffles, “I’m fine. Just go back and hang out with David tonight.”

“Well, obviously that’s not happening.” I roll my eyes with a smile, “You were my friend before anything else with him. I love you, Nat. I think we need a girls night.”

“Girls night?” She smiles slightly.

“Yeah, movies, cookie dough, face masks. Let’s have a girls night.” I grin, getting more and more excited.

“David is just going to want to join in because he loves you. My best friend stole my other best friend.”

I never looked at it that way. Natalie was the one who brought us together and made us close. I never thought she felt left out because we started dating.

“I’ll handle David. You just pick your favorite movies to watch later and meet me in the kitchen. We’ll make our cookie dough and then we’ll have a sleepover in your room.”

Natalie gets excited with the idea and starts looking through movies on Netflix. I get off her bed and go back out to the living room where David is still seated.

“I need a favor.” I sit down in front of him, making him pause his movie yet again.

“What is it?” He smirks, his mind automatically going to a dirty favor.

“Not like that.” I roll my eyes. “I need you to go to our room. Like for the rest of the night.”

“What?” He asks, suddenly very confused with the request.

“Natalie has a lot of stuff going on and she needs a girls night.”

“Well, I can just-”

“No, baby.” I place a hand on his leg, “She’s already talked to me about how she feels like she kinda lost both of her best friends because we started dating.”

“I had no idea she felt that way.”

“Me either. So I need you to stay in your room all night.”

I start dragging David up off the couch and pushing him in the direction of our room.

“I haven’t even had supper yet.” He argues.

“I’ll order you Chipotle.”

“Ugh, I love you.” He groans.

“I love you too.”

I peck his lips quickly and pull the door shut behind me. I get all of the ingredients we’ll need and Natalie comes out and we start baking.

“What movie did you pick?” I ask, we sit down on the couch, both of us with a small bowl of cookie dough.

“13 Going on 30.” She grins, we’re both happy with her choice of a rom com classic.

I bring David his food and we watch a couple more movies before we decide to go to her room and set up for the night with face masks.

“Hey.” I walk in to see that David is still up editing.

“Hey, ready for bed?”

“I’m crashing in Natalie’s room.” I smile.

“What?” He asks, yanking out both of his headphones to give me his full attention.

“It’s a girls night. Usually that includes a sleepover.”

“We all live in the same house.” He rolls his eyes.

“Exactly. So if I slept in here tonight, it would just be like any other night.”

David can’t argue with that. I change into a pair of shorts and a clickbait shirt that is a couple sizes too big. I brush my teeth and come out of the bathroom to catch David still pouting.

“I’ll see you in the morning.” I lean in and press my lips against his in a kiss that he doesn’t reciprocate.

“Hey, don’t pout. I’m only going to be twenty feet away.”

This time David connects our lips in a kiss before I leave. I come in to Natalie’s room to see she’s already in her pj’s too and has a variety of face masks for us to use.

“I want this one!” I say after picking one that sounds like it’ll help with some of the issues I have.

We both walk into her bathroom to apply the masks and set a timer for fifteen minutes.

“So, how is it living with David?” Natalie asks once we’ve settled on the bed again.

“What are you talking about? You live here too, you know it’s good.” I laugh.

“I know, but if we didn’t and we were having girls night we would be talking about boys. Since I have no men in my life right now, we have to talk about you.” She smirks.

“It’s been really good,” I give in, “I was nervous, I’ve never lived with a boy before, but he’s made it kinda perfect. It makes me so happy to be able to come home to him. To both of you guys really. How often do you get to live with your two best friends?”

“How do you see it with him long term?” She questions, her brows raised.  

“What like marriage?” I laugh, but her quick nod shuts me up, “I don’t know. I could totally see myself spending the rest of my life with him and building a family with him, but I am in no rush. I’m good for a couple years.”

Natalie nods to agree with me. We stay up late, it feels like when we first started being friends. We still have endless things to talk about and discover about each other. We put on another romantic comedy to fall asleep to. Natalie crashes in almost the first five minutes of the movie and I crash not long after that.

The next morning waking up in Natalie’s room is different. It felt like I should be cuddled up against David, but he’s down the hall.

“Good morning.” Natalie says, smiling looking over her phone.

“Since when are you a morning person?” I groan, pushing my face back into the pillow.

“Since when are you anti-morning?” She quips back.

“Since my boyfriend has completely trashed my sleeping schedule.”

I feel Natalie get up from the bed and open her door.

“Well, if you get up now I might have postmated some pancakes from our favorite diner.�� She sings, walking away.

“No way!”

I push off all of the blankets and follow the sweet smell of pancakes that are just hitting me. David is already sitting at the table, digging into his take out box.

“Morning.” I lean in and press a kiss to his cheek.

“Hey.” He grins back.

“How was your sleepover?” He asks, taking a big gulp of orange juice.

“It was a lot of fun!” I smile.

“What did you guys do?” He shovels in another bite.

“We watched movies, baked, did facemasks, had some girl talk, and then crashed.” Natalie summarizes.

“Girl talk? Does that mean you talked about me?” David smirks proudly.

“Duh.” I grin.

“All good things I hope?”

“Always.”

~

i hope yall loved this concept as much as i do

[aion-rsa]

What’s Happening With Marvel’s X-Men?

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This article contains spoilers for recent Marvel X-Men stories.

A long time ago, back at the beginning of the interminable, endless month of March that the pandemic has trapped us in, Marvel’s X-Men books were barrelling towards their first big post-Dawn of X crossover, X of Swords. And then the world stopped, and plans changed for the X-Men while everything was paused.

Now that we’re back, plans have changed, and books are coming fast and furious. So what’s going on with Marvel’s Merry Mutants? Which book did Storm get sick in? What book should you read for a good Laksa recipe? New Mutants, but we can answer all your other questions on what’s going on with the X-Men below. 

While we won’t rehash the entire thing, House of X/Powers of X reset the entire X-Men line. Mutants can’t die anymore (or rather, if they do, they’re resurrected from clone bodies and emergency backup minds by The Five and Professor X). The X-Men, and all mutants alive, are now living on Krakoa, a living, mutant island in the Pacific that, at some point in the distant past, broke in half, sending one part of it to a dangerous, monster-infested realm with Apocalypse’s first Horsemen standing guard making sure it didn’t return. 

Humans are back to hating and fearing mutants on a wide scale, but this time it’s mostly because the mutants are vehemently anti-capitalism, flooding markets with cheap, life-extending and health-improving drugs and vowing to take down the human world with economic weapons of their own making. This has the humans initiating some pretty intense Sentinel programs, particularly around the sun, where Nimrod – the adaptive Sentinel whose existence dooms mutantkind in one Powers of X future – was very nearly created. 

And amidst all of that, Moira MacTaggert, the secret mutant mastermind with the power of Groundhog Lifeing (when she dies, her consciousness is immediately transported back to her prenatal self to be born again with all her old memories. She’s on life ten now, btw), is frantically trying to manipulate events so that mutants continue to exist in the long run as the next phase in human evolution, averting a future where man-machine hybrids (like Omega Sentinels and the Children of the Vault) develop while humans and mutants are busy fighting among themselves. She’s also not allowing Charles and Magneto to revive any mutants with precognitive powers, expecting them to see her plan and ruin Krakoan civilization.

X-Men

X-Men, by mastermind Jonathan Hickman with art mostly from Leinil Yu, is where big ideas are being seeded for later use.

This is where the story of Krakoa and its estranged, otherdimensional partner Arakko was further developed (following its introduction in Powers of X and setting up X of Swords, the first mutant crossover of the Dawn of X era). X-Men introduced Hordeculture (think the Golden Girls if they were also ecoterrorist botanists); reintroduced the Children of the Vault; showed how depowered mutants get in line to get their powers back; and saw Magneto and Apocalypse threaten humankind with the most terrible weapon of all: finance capitalism.

New Mutants

It also, just prior to the break, X-Men had a spiritual crossover with New Mutants, initially a split book by Hickman and Rod Reis on the space issues, and Ed Brisson, Flaviano, and Marco Failla on the Earth issues. Brisson, Flaviano and Failla’s story follows a group of Earthbound mutant kids (including Glob Herman and Boom Boom) as they track down stragglers to Krakoa, like Beak and Angel.

Hickman and Reis took the original New Mutants plus Chamber and Mondo into space to go pick up Cannonball (who was living on Chandi’lar with his wife, Smasher). On the way there, they stole a King Egg from the Starjammers and brought it back to Earth, where it turns out, we discover in X-Men, the King Egg is a bioweapon created by the Kree to control the Brood for an eventual war with the Shi’ar. Broo, the supersmart mutant Broodling from Wolverine and the X-Men, eats the egg and becomes the Brood King.

Excalibur

Excalibur is the shining star of the line so far. Tini Howard and Marcus To are growing the mythos of mutant magic with a very odd team that includes Betsy Braddock (now back in her original body and the new Captain Britain); Rogue and Gambit; Jubilee and her mysteriously dragonified son Shogo; new earth mage Rictor; and Apocalypse, who is clearly up to some stuff. Apocalypse picks a fight with Otherworld and places a newly resurrected but still batshit Jamie Braddock on the throne of the magical realm.

Excalibur was one of the first books to return from hiatus, and it came back with maybe the best single issue of the entire relaunch in issue #10. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Marauders

Marauders launched as the story about the Hellfire Trading Company, the corporate arm of Krakoa that distributes the miracle drugs around the world while also smuggling mutants in trouble home to Krakoa. But Gerry Duggan and Matteo Lolli’s book quickly turned into the mystery of Kitty Pryde – why she’s not able to use the Krakoan gates that allow instantaneous travel around the galaxy, and whether she can be resurrected by The Five. That story has just about come to a head, but it is worth noting that it still contains a great deal of Hellfire Trading Company intrigue between Emma Frost and Sebastian Shaw, and a lot of drunken pirate antics. The resurrected original Pyro does get a tattoo of the Marauders skull on his face at one point. It’s fun.

X-Force

X-Force, by Ben Percy and Joshua Cassara, immediately killed Professor X. He was resurrected, of course, but it served as both a notice that everyone is fair game, and alongside Marauders, keeps some slight mystery to character death alive post-The Five’s perpetual resurrection machine. It’s also the story of the Krakoan CIA, so it sets up the global threats facing the mutant nation, and then sends Wolverine to get cut in half fighting them. Also, Forge creates a bio-mech loader suit and smashes the two halves of Logan back together at one point. If that’s something you find yourself chuckling at, this book is going to exceed expectations.

Fallen Angels

Fallen Angels focused mostly on resetting the current Psylocke’s status quo. Kwannon was brought back to life and placed in her old body shortly before the reboot (very quickly: Spiral switched Psylocke and Kwannon’s bodies, then before they could be reverted, Kwannon got the Legacy Virus and died, then when Betsy used a villain’s powers to recreate her old body and reinhabit it, Kwannon…uh…got better…). Here, she teamed with X-23 and Cable, with ops backup from Mister Sinister, to track down Apoth, a technological being selling cybernetic drugs to humans.

It’s mostly setup for Psylocke, X-23 (now Wolverine again, I think), and Sinister while adding another technological foe to the mix. It leads almost directly into Zeb Wells and Steven Segovia’s Hellions, a book about Sinister’s team of mutants who are all gleefully, unrepentantly screwed up and are currently on a mission cleaning up some old clones Sinister left lying around.

Cable, Wolverine, and More…

Cable, Wolverine and the Giant Size issues, are still mostly seeding future storylines. Cable, from Duggan and Phil Noto, has only had a couple of issues so far, but it’s brought the Galadorians (the Spaceknights minus ROM, who belongs to IDW now, I think) into mutant orbit and given Nathan a sword for the crossover.

Wolverine, by Percy, Adam Kubert and Victor Bogdanove, has Logan tracking down illicit Krakoan flower dealers, and also Omega Red works for Dracula now. And the Giant Size issues are mysteries piled on mysteries piled on incredible art. Hickman has scripted all three, and so far, Storm caught a technovirus from the Children of the Vault in the Jean Grey/Emma Frost issue (drawn by Russell Dauterman); we find out what’s up with Cypher’s techno-organic arm in the Nightcrawler issue (from Alan Davis); Magneto buys Emma an island from Namor with art from Ramon Perez; and we get actual backstory and incredible Rod Reis art in the Fantomex issue. 

Empyre

The recently wrapped Empyre: X-Men’s opening scene is simultaneously one of the most important to the metanarrative of mutant struggle that’s been developing since the Professor’s “No More” scene in House of X #4 AND the best setup/punchline in any Dawn of X comic. It also starts to deliver on some of the rumored-but-never-announced X-Men ideas that were floated early after the reboot – Angel and M are two of the leads, playing out a little of the boardroom drama we hoped for after an X-Corporation book was rumored.

X-Factor

X-Factor, from Leah Williams and David Baldeon, more or less just launched. It’s about the team investigating and verifying mutant deaths, to put those lives into the queue for resurrection. This feels like the book set up to deliver on the weirdest promises of the relaunch, and the creative team are inventive, fun storytellers, so keep an eye on this. Williams has a very sharp ear for patter and knows her characters well – while it’s not an X-book, Amazing Mary Jane is a stunning accomplishment of delightful character work. Early X-Factor is more of the same, with more mutant high concept.

And all this is leading to X of Swords, the new X-writers room’s attempt to outdo X-Cutioner’s Song: a 22-part Tini Howard-led crossover where everyone swordfights over half of Krakoa. And still dangling in the ether, unannounced but long discussed, are Vita Ayala and Bernard Chang’s Children of the Atom, following a group of mutant teenagers who idolize the X-Men, and a Moira X book that’s expected to fill in some of the gaps in Moira’s many, many timelines. 

The post What’s Happening With Marvel’s X-Men? appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3jXI6LJ

[rancoeur-the-unfortunate]

(Chapter 28) Pills

It started dark. Like a vast nothingness that should be something but just wasn't. Then, as if summoned, the empty space was filling with little dots, stars. Billions upon billions of stars. It truly was a sight to behold. White specks of powder in the sky. Suddenly a new shape seemed to fade into the picture. It was magenta in color and was only getting brighter. A big circle, a planet. Suddenly the pretty picture started to get gruesome as the planet only got brighter and started to shake violently, bright orange cracks forming along the surface until it exploded-

Zim sat up suddenly mid-scream, knocking Gir from his place in his lap and onto the floor. Gloved fingers smacked his mouth and he attempted to calm himself. He pulled his hands back only to realize they were wet. His face was wet too. Had he been crying?

He wiped his eyes and attempted to shake off whatever it was he had just dreamed.

That couldn't have been Irk right?

Zim rubbed the sides of his head, calm himself down.

Without looking, he reached for Dib and grabbed a hold of Minimoose. She squeaked in response causing Zim to yelp.

"Oh yeah, Dib isn't here. Uh sorry, Minimoose." He scratched the back of his head, letting go of the little doomsday device.

"Mye?" She tilted herself to the side.

"No no, I'm fine just a little nightmare." Zim brushed her off and sat up.

He was laying down on the couch in the living room. The TV had been shut off and Gir was sleeping peacefully sleep on the floor. Minimoose hovered nearby obviously concerned for her master.

Zim rubbed his eyes and hopped off the couch. He figured talking could distract him from that awful dream.

"So uh what did you and Gir do over the week of my absence?"

Minimoose seemed to perk up a that, she floated higher and made a tilted gesture for him to follow her. Zim, followed after her.

They took the desk elevator to one of Zim's labs and moved into his main computer.

"Mi mu mye!" The little doomsday device squeaked happily.

"You did what?!" Zim's eyes grew wide as he rushed over to the keyboard and began to type.

"Computer! Run diagnostics on new upgrades!"

"Running..." The disembodied voice replied.

Zim turned to Minimoose, "why didn't you ask for permission before upgrading MY base Minimoose. His non-existent eyebrows nit together in disappointment.

"Myu meh," The moose defended her actions.

"So what if the Tallest threatened me?! That does not give you the right to poke around Irken equipment and using tools you have no business touching," Zim crossed his arms and glared.

"Kyu!" Minimoose frowned and turned herself downward slightly, small blobs of tears pricking in her eyes. Zim's stance immediately shifted from disappointment to concern.

"Hey hey, I didn't mean it like that," He said softly and reached out to cradle and comfort the deadly thing. "It's just that, Irken tech is dangerous, not to mention most of this junk is trash. You could have gotten hurt," Zim gently rubbed the moose's antlers and pulled away to look her in her slightly derping eyes.

"Weh mey?" She asked through soft sobs.

"Oh Minimoose, of course, I'm not mad at you," Zim gently wiped the tears from her eyes and held her to his chest. "Thank you Minimoose. I know you were just looking out for your master."

"Kew," she squeaked.

"Yeah yeah, I love you too. If only Irkens could grasp the concept of love yadda yadda," Zim smiled softly.

The two sat in comforting silence only to have it ruined by the sound of tiny clinking footsteps that were only getting faster and closer. "OOOH, WE HUGGIN' NOW?!" Gir screamed and jumped up to join them. Effectively tackling the two to the ground.

"Gir!!" Zim growled, trying to shove the little robot of his person, not that it worked. "Let go! Minimoose help!"

Zim watched as Minimoose slipped from his grasp and floated up into the air, "Weh ha." The Moose squeaked out an evil laugh that sounded more like a squeezed rubber duck.

"No! Minimoose you trader!" Zim laughed as Gir wrapped his arms and legs around Zim's chest and held on tight, nuzzling him affectionately.

The fun was ruined when the computer's voice rang out, "Scan complete."

Gir, startled by the sudden loud noise, loosened his grip just enough for Zim to get him to let go.

Zim stood up and read the computer screen displaying the results of the scan.

Upgrades: Complete

Base Integrity: 100%

New Anti-Air Weapons: Online

Base Transformation Parts: Operational

Long-Distance Communication: Online

Even Longer Distance Communication: Online

Advanced Secondary Weapons: Online

Fuel Storage: Max

Snack Compartment: Full

"Huh," Zim hummed a little befuddled. "Good work Minimoose."

"Kuy!" She squeaked, excited.

"How long are you going to stare at her?"

Raz's calm but stern voice woke Skoodge from his daydream.

"Oh! Sorry! I didn't mean to I... must've dozed off..." Skoodge trailed off looking a bit ashamed.

Raz didn't even look upset, but rather curious.

"What's going on with you?"

"N-nothing!" Skoodge's eyes went wide as he leaned away from the bound Murthen.

"You're worried, and it's not about my egg or you're own wellbeing," Raz stated.

"Wha-? NoI'mnot!" Skoodge averted his eyes.

"Don't lie to me Skoodge I can see it in your eyes. I know what worry looks like, I have a mate. And if you're not worried over whether or not you could die today or if my egg will make it back to the nest. Who ARE you worried about?" Raz sneered, but she sounded genuinely concerned.

"Well you see it's..." Skoodge looked away for a moment before turning back to face the blue alien.

Skoodge sighed and looked the Murthen in the eyes and whispered so the Doctor couldn't hear, "it's Zim. The other Irken who lead the rebellion. I'm worried sick about him. Irk, I haven't seen him since Hobo 13 and we didn't necessarily leave on a pleasant note." Skoodge practically folded in on himself.

"I don't even know if he ever escaped those awful pills," Skoodge whimpered pathetically. He placed his hands to his face and wept quietly.

Raz looked at Skoodge for a moment. She had no reason to console this Irken, he stole her child and put her family in danger. But at the same time, he was carrying her egg. Maybe it was just the new mother in her but she felt the need to comfort him.

"Skoodge," her stern voice caught the attention of the shorter boy. Skoodge looked up at her with puffy eyes. "Just..." She paused and took a breath, "put your hand undermine."

Skoodge looked confused for a moment, "wha-?"

"Just. Do it." Raz bit.

Skoodge looked startled but placed his hand under Raz's. She gripped his hand gently but firmly. She refused to look at him, but she reassured him with her strong grip.

"Look, whoever this Zim is, I'm sure he's fine. He must be strong if he could lead a rebellion. I believe, whatever happens, you two will make it out, together."

Skoodge smiled, he felt-

"Alright, everyone. We're here!" The Doctor shouted from the cockpit.

Skoodge pulled away from Raz and started to undo his straps. Once up he began suiting up in his hazmat gear.

The Doctor approached and started to unstrap Raz barely dodging the swipe of her claws once her upper left arm was free. He chuckled in amusement and gripped her wrist tightly.

"Cute," the Irken continued to unstrap her while Skoodge kept his distance from the two. He kept a small hand on the top of the egg as if to calm the little Murthlet inside.

Once Raz was released, the Doctor shoved her out of the ship. Skoodge could tell he was getting impatient with his increased aggression towards the Murthen.

The surface of Bleech seemed almost softer than Cloric. The ground was a pale white and the sky lacked clouds just like Cloric, the ground almost seemed to almost bounce when stepped on. The ground was also littered with small craters each about the size of Skoodge's body.

Upon further inspection, i.e. fell in, Skoodge discovered some of the craters were a lot deeper than they appear or were straight up invisible at first glance. Skoodge was trying to avoid another crater when he slipped and fell into another. A smaller one, about the size of his waist, and sadly, got stuck.

"Uh, Doctor?" Skoodge called.

Said Irken hardly even turned to look at him.

"What IS it Skoodge?" He asked, annoyed.

"I'm stuck," Skoodge whimpered, shamefully.

Raz started to head over to free him only for the Doctor to aim his blaster at her, stopping the blue alien in her tracks. "Get yourself out," he kept his eyes on her as he spoke.

Skoodge sighed and tried to pull himself out, only to find the stretch surface had sucked him in and created a vacuum with him inside.

"Uh Doctor I don't think I can-" Skoodge was cut off when the Doctor suddenly pointed his gun toward him.

"Get. Yourself. Out." If looks could kill Skoodge doubted he'd be alive right then.

Skoodge tried to break the vacuum by tucking his arms in and pushing the rubbery surface away as well as kicking his stumpy legs. The action was tougher than it looked, but once his pak was out the Irken extended his pak legs and braced them around himself. He pulled with everything he had until he was released and shot out like a cannon. Hitting the ground with a bounce.

The Doctor didn't even spare him a passing glance as he kept walking with Raz.

Skoodge pushed himself up and dusted himself off only to be disgusted by the clear fluid now sticking to his suit.

"What is this stuff?" He asked no one in particular.

"It's bleach," Raz stated matter of factly.

"Oh," Skoodge finished whipping himself off.

The three continued forward, walking in relative silence. The sound of squelching breaking the silence once in a while.

Skoodge continued to observe the terrain, the Bleech almost looked like a wasteland with little to nothing on it as far as the optic could see. Where could Raz possibly be hiding weapons?

Raz suddenly came to a stop leading the Doctor and Skoodge to stop with her.

"Why did you stop?" The Doctor asked.

"Because we're here," Raz turned around to face the two Irkens.

At first glance the space around them was completely identical to the area they landed on. But it was Skoodge who noticed the only change.

"The ground it's not squishy anymore," he commented.

"I guess being lower to the ground has its advantages," Raz smirked a bit.

The Doctor only raised his gun towards Raz. "Enough! Show us the weapons," he hissed.

Raz simply glared and tapped her foot: three hard times, three soft times, and three hard times again. Then, the ground below them started to shift, before descending into the ground like some sort of elevator. Skoodge found himself subconsciously grabbing the sides of the egg as he steadied himself.

As they descended, Skoodge could see the multiple layers that made up the crust of Bleech. It was so strange, it was like the elevator was a clean-cut square carved from the surface of the moon.

Suddenly the elevator stopped, and four panels opened one on each wall. Out of said panels came a camera with a red laser and gun attached to it. All four cameras trained on the three of them.

"Halt!" A tiny, robotic voice reverberated through the shaft. "State your designation or prepare to be fired upon!"

The Doctor glared at Raz, "call it off."

Raz stood quiet.

"Identify yourselves immediately!" The disembodied voice rang, "Identity in 5..."

Skoodge looked at Raz panicked, but her gaze was focused on the Doctor's a look of pure disdain in her eyes.

The Doctor lowered his gun from her and pointed it at the egg on Skoodge's chest. "Now!"

"4...3...2..." Skoodge curled around the egg in a panic.

"Zya, it's me," Raz stated.

"Oh! Raz I did not recognize you! Come on in!"

The elevator began moving again until the walls giving way to a large room that wasn't unlike a storage room. Racks and racks filled with crates filled with Irk know what. Skoodge wondered for a moment why one Murthen would need all of this stuff.

Zya's voice interrupted his thoughts, "so Raz who are your friends? Why are they green?" The voice seemed to almost take a playful tone as it observed them. Skoodge found it kind of cute, while the Doctor just found it annoying.

"What's that?" He spat.

"That's Zya, she's a guard AI I picked off an abandoned Vort weapons cache," Raz explained without even looking at the Doctor.

"Well tell it to be quiet!" He hissed as the platform hit the ground. The three stepped off and began trekking through the room.

Skoodge couldn't help but look around in awe at just how big this place was. So much so that he started to fall behind. By the time he noticed, he was now alone. He looked around and called out for the Doctor but got no response. The short Irken shivered and began to run in the direction he thought they went.

He only stopped when he came across and a small water fountain. He smiled and dripped the egg bag in to refill it. He couldn't help but feel proud of himself for how well he was taking care of this egg.

The egg he stole.

From two new parents.

Parents he was currently stealing weapons from.

Skoodge didn't feel proud anymore.

Raz led the Doctor to the very back of the warehouse, where a large stack of guns sat.

"Here," she spat. "There are your weapons. Now give me back my egg."

The Doctor looked at the guns, then back to her before lowering his gun. He turned his back to her and started heading for the guns. Only to be stopped by one of Zya's gun arms. It lowered from the ceiling quickly and pointed it directly at the Doctor. "Put 'em up, green boy!" She ordered.

The Irken gasped in surprise and glared at Raz. "You didn't think I'd bring you down here and not have a plan, right?" The Murthen laughed in triumph and grabbed one of the guns from the pile. "Zya and I have tones of secret codes, the one you heard was 'there's an intruder with me'." She pointed the gun at Doctor. "Now. My egg." She glared.

The Doctor raised his hands and shrugged. "It's with Skoodge, I'm sure you can keep up with him." Raz looked around for the little Irken only to groan in annoyance. "Gah! Fine but I'm getting rid of you first." She fired her weapon, dead on to the Doctor's chest. A bright light shot from the gun and before the alien's eyes, the Doctor's skin started to bubble and melt.

He screamed in pain and collapsed onto his knees. He grasped at his chest as steam started to come off of his body. The pain was excruciating and his screams only seemed to get louder before he fell down and went silent.

Raz barely regarded him before reloading her gun and turning to face the hallway they came from.

"D-Doctor?" Skoodge's voice cut through the silence, not too far away. She dashed in that direction climbing up the shelves. She was getting her egg back, and nothing was going to stop her.

"Doctor?" Skoodge called again, feeling hopeless. He hoped the taller Irken wasn't going to leave him behind. Up ahead he saw a shadow, the low lighting obscuring his vision. "Doctor?"

The shadow got closer revealing itself to be Raz. She raised her gun at Skoodge, "the egg, hand her over".

Skoodge gasped in surprise frozen in fear.

"Now!" She demanded.

Skoodge jumps out of his stupor and starts to slowly pull the back the straps of the sac. A look of surprise marking his face.

He reached his hand out, offering the egg. "H-how did y-"

"The Doctor is not as smart as he makes himself out to be," Raz grabbed the egg from him, cradling it in her upper arms with care while her lower left held the gun. "Oh thank murth, you're ok!"

Skoodge took a step back, hoping to distance himself from the volatile Murthen. She glared at him and pointed her gun directly in his face.

"You! You broke into my home, smacked around my mate, and stole my child!" Raz snarled and stalked closer.

Skoodge stood silent, a look of fear on his face. He wanted to defend himself, but could he really? What Raz was saying was true. He DID do all of those things. And for what? Some dangerous weapons? Skoodge had no right to defend himself. He shut his eyes and waited for the impending shot.

Only to be met with silence. Skoodge opened his eyes only to see Raz, standing completely still eyes blown wide. Around her neck was a thick metal band. A collar.

"Not as smart as I make myself out to be eh?" The Doctor's voice cut through the silence like a knife. He stepped out from behind Raz.

She started shaking as she opened her mouth to speak. "B-but how-"

The Doctor chuckled and opened his coat revealing his chest. The bubbles that had formed were slowly simmering down and healing. "They call me the Doctor for a reason," he laughed as he closed his coat.

Raz shakingly raised her upper right hand as if to strike him but struggling to do so.

"Now now, enough of that, you don't want to strain yourself too much." He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a remote before pressing one of the buttons on it.

Raz stopped moving entirely, her eyes growing distant.

"What did you do to her?!" Skoodge shouted.

"Well originally I was going to use this collar on Zim but I think its uses are best served here. Now Raz, come with me." Raz turned to walk with the Doctor letting go of both the egg and her gun.

Skoodge quickly caught it and rushed after the Doctor. "What are you doing?"

"Didn't I tell you we were going to use Raz?"

"No!"

"Mm must have slipped my mind." The Doctor shrugged as they approached the guns.

"What happened to Zya?"

"What, the AI? I unplugged that junk right before I went back to save you."

Skoodge looked down at the egg in his hands. "Wh-what do I do with-"

"That thing? Leave it." The Doctor made an off-handed gesture.

"What?! No way!"

The Doctor sighed, "fine, keep it but if it hatches it's your problem."

"Aren't we going to return it?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes, "don't you get it?" He pointed to the guns and Raz began to pick up the weaponry and carry it back to the elevator.

"You were never going to give back the egg were you?!" Skoodge shouldn't have been shocked but he was.

"Of course not." The sighed and patted Skoodge's head, much to the shorter Irken's dismay. "Think about it this way, with Raz's help we'll have Zim back before you can say Irk." The Doctor laughed before walking away Raz in tow, all four arms stacked with guns.

Skoodge looked down at the egg in his hands. The tiny, blue Murthlet inside looking back at him with half-opened eyes. Despite being not even a hatching, Skoodge couldn't help but feel like she was disappointed in him.

"What have I done?"

[fly-pow-bye]

DuckTales 2017 - “The Depths of Cousin Fethry!”

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Christian Magalhaes, Bob Snow

Written by: Christian Magalhaes

Storyboard by: Stephanie Gonzaga, Vaughn Tada, Brandon Warren, Jason Zurek

Directed by: Matthew Humphreys

Not really that deep.

The episode begins with Huey nerding out over tree rings, and wanting Dewey to experience it. Bath be damned, he has to show him this amazing thing that only a nerd like him would be interested in. But why wouldn't he be interested, this tree managed to live through three leap years in a row! He then starts to lick the log to get resin samples, because that wouldn't be funny enough if he just used his fingers.

After that necessary scene, a can starts saying "brrring, ring ring ring" in a really annoying way. Scrooge and Donald, who show up only in this scene, tells the boys that this is just their "coo-coo bananas" Cousin Fethry. To discourage the boys from, Scrooge decides to tell them he lives in a deep-sea laboratory, and he likes to go on fool's errands that lead to unnecessarily dangerous adventures...

...and they’re already coerced Launchpad to steal Scrooge's submarine, singing that it's the "best waste of time ever". Huey immediately realizes once the theme song ends that they stole the submarine, and we immediately cut to the theme song. The best we get is that we hear Scrooge call Launchpad about why he's driving the submarine, and Dewey just takes the receiver, breaks it, and throws it on the ground.

Launchpad eventually reaches the lighthouse, bumping into it before parking right next to it to remind us that he's Launchpad, and a voice calls out to the boys to meet him at the top.

As for Launchpad, he hears the call of Oceanika, a siren who used to be his lover. Do not worry if you never heard of her, because I do not think you are supposed to. I am sure we'll cut back to him and whatever adventure he goes on.

After the boys, we finally get to see Fethry, showing off his anti-pirate decoy. Right from the beginning, the boys get to question this guy's sanity.

Dewey: Do you get a lot of pirates?

Fethry: Never! He’s that good.

Dewey: Eh.

The sad thing is that this is about as good as the humor surrounding him gets. In fact, they don’t even add a beat after this for the audience to laugh at it. I could say It’s a bit more dry than a lot of the humor in this show. Huh, this ocean-related episode is a bit dry. How ironic.

This is the animated debut of a character that I had no familiarity with before his name popped up in the upcoming episodes. Originally, I thought this was because I'm not that familiar with the Barks-era comics, but it's really because his origins are in the European Disney Duck comics.

I did a little research and found this image. I decided that was the best research I could do for this guy. I’m sure he had some other character traits, like his love for getting into the latest fads, but I could say this perfectly explains why Donald acts he way he did when his name is involved. One thing I can say is that he's not going to age the show by referencing a current fad. I mean, he's not into Gummi Bears Go or anything like that.

Turns out, he lives in the Sealab, long before 2020. Or 2021, for that matter. Actually, it's called the McDuck Sublab of the Future. The joke is that it was made in the past. Going down the Aqua-vator, man’s niftiest invention, they go to the McDuck Sublab of the Future. The joke is that it was made in the past.

There’s a joke about an outdoor jai alai court, which isn’t as popular as the indoor one. Because it’s a sport that involves bouncing a ball against a wall. Also, outdoors under the sea? I have a feeling they came up with this joke before the concept of this episode.

Meanwhile...okay, I guess it's not the time to say that yet. I'm sure we'll eventually see what Launchpad is doing, right? Fethry tries to show off the world's best kept secret: the ocean. I think the joke is that we're expecting him to talk about that amazing thing that he just saw. Huey and Dewey use this spotlight to try to find who could it be, this animal that Fethry did see. Can they help guess this mystery?

Unfortunately, the first thing the boys see is a blobfish. Instead, Huey and Dewey get scared by a blobfish. Fun fact: blobfish are only ugly like that when they're above water; their bodies are meant for the deep seas, and once they get out of it, they become that ugly. This show will not teach you that. Huey continues his defense of Fethry, and it's not just because he liked his hat. He argues that maybe he's an eccentric genius like all of those geniuses on TV...

...as he imitates this turtle and later imitates a shark! And then he disgustingly licks the radar, which totally justifies the log licking from earlier! Get it, he's weird, and Huey's weird because he's such a nerd! There's quite a bit more grossout in this episode than any other episode of DuckTales 2017, and it's not that great of a look on this show.

There’s also the occasional scene where he seems creepier than usual, possibly trying to instill in our minds that this guy is actually evil. I mean, why not, he's practically a stranger even if he is family. For example, once they get to the Tulley Observatory, Fethry gets out a crowbar, and for second he looks like he’s going to crowbar these poor children. But no, that never actually happens. Expectations subverted!

However, we do get to see tentacles squeezing all three of these characters thanks to Fethry's actions. Okay, these are actually giant sea worms, mutated from the toxic vents as Fethry explains. There's hints, and then there's outright giving away future plot twists, and this is squarely in the latter.

Fethry does have a plan because he's used to these worms: just convince the worms that they're not threatened, as they smell fear and are very happy to try to squeeze it out of them, by being affectionate towards them. See, it's completely nuts, but it ends up working as his compliment ends up loosening its grip. Huey does it, but Dewey doesn't seem to have a clue. Huey has to do something, and it ends up being...

...this. Yeaaah, I don't really have anything to say about this kiss scene. The other worm that's squeezing Dewey just gives up after this. I would, too.

We're finally get to see the crew, and if it wasn't for that kiss that is now etched in my memory, I would be just thinking to myself "it's not going to be people, it's not going to be people, it's not going to be people..."

Big surprise, it turns out to not be a crew of people Fethry could talk to and expect an audible answer. Instead, it's a crew of glow in the dark krill. Huey still believes he's a genius, even though Dewey points out he seems to be singing to them. Don't worry, there's a point later.

If one hasn't noticed, there is a duo dynamic here with the two nephews they use. Huey is still clinging on to what little respect he has, while Dewey is desperately trying to convince Huey to see the obvious. Dewey also sees something Dewey accuses Huey of being exactly the same as Fethry. They’re both nerds, they’re interested in things no ordinary kid would be interested in, and they both wear red caps that they never take off. They

Fun fact: this is actually an reference to his debut comic in Europe, where Fethry gave that exact explanation for why he always wears this hat. Okay, I did do more research. I also know he apparently wasn't very well liked among fans of the comics outside of Europe, which isn't that surprising. Speaking of which, Fethry is glad to be with a fellow “Chucker“.

Huey: I’m not that into the Junior Woodchucks. It’s more of a part-time hobby...

Unlike the original, the Junior Woodchuck is his one thing in the reboot that separates him from the others, so he’s clearly lying here. Before this becomes obvious, a large thud happens. They turn to Fethry, only for him to say "end of the line" in an ominous voice.

But it’s actually because some sort of monster cut it, as we see this shadowy colossus cut it down. My only guess for these “could he be evil” scenes is that DuckTales 2017 episodes tend to have outright villains, and I don’t feel like I’m giving anything away by saying this is not one of them. I mean, it is scary that these two kids are now stuck with this guy who’s clearly nuts…yeah, let’s try not to think about that too hard.

While getting into scuba gear, they have to swim across the vents. We do get to learn that Fethry’s “crew” may be a bunch of krill, but they are trained krill. All he has to do is sing a song to them, and he’s able to command them to do formations to help them towards the place to see all of those. See, the singing isn't him being nutso after all.

They finally get to Fethry's own living space. I didn't get a screenshot here, but there’s a ripped poster talking about the symptoms of Ocean Madness in the background. I feel like that's another hint towards a twist that never actually happens. Fethry directs the boys to the window where this amazing thing will show up, even overselling it by calling it an amazing creature. Mangatsika!

Do I even need to say what's going to happen next? He continues to delay the completely expected by asking them if they want a sandwich, but Huey and Dewey tell him to get on with it. They're practically echoing my sentiment, too.

NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Well, okay, there’s some krill that light up into the colors of the rainbow, continuing his utter obsession with krill, but that pretty much sums it up. This was the very kind of thing Scrooge warned the boys about.

Huey, on the last ounce of respect for the man, decides to outright ask Fethry if this is some sort of scientific breakthrough from a genius scientist. He responds that he just thinks it's cool looking, and says he's not even a scientist...he's just the janitor.

This is the last straw for Huey, and Dewey didn’t even have any straws to begin with. Anyone can get where this scene is going, especially when the sad music starts playing. Fethry walks towards the window, crestfallen that nobody really cared about his krill as the nephews decide to leave and tell him he won't be seen again in a really rude way that wouldn't be that unchararactistic of them. He then turns around and tells the boys that they're not going anywhere...

...because the giant monster is here. I am honestly surprised we never use this "could he be evil" gag inbetween commercial breaks. Honestly, that would have made this gag worse.

Meanwhil...oh, come on! We're still here? Yeah, there's no real B plot here, it's all A. Actually, it's a C plot so far, and that bell curve I use with these reviews isn't going to take kindly to that. Hint, hint. This is another case of "this adventure was just too cool to show you", and I'll detail that a little bit later in this review.

Huey is still going through the motions of the mistunderstanding scene, though. Even though we totally understand it. After a chase scene where they have to rush back to the aquavator while avoiding getting mutated by toxic fumes themselves, we get a scene where Huey accuses Fethry of leading them into an adventure that could get them killed. They never repaired that line, but that's not going to get the explanation.

What's worse is that the aquavator and the rest of the Sublab is getting torn apart. They're knee deep in ocean water. Suddenly, the bulb in the spotlights burns out, but don’t worry, just replace the bulb with the jar filled with the krill crew to it, and the glow ends up making the spotlight work again. Don't doubt the krill, I guess.

In the end, Huey ends up singing to it via the aquavator’s loudspeaker. Dewey says he must have gone sea-mad, while Fethry just stands there and realizes what's happening. It’s because the spotlight has proven that it’s just an oversiZed glow in the dark krill, mutated by those toxic vents.

While it seems like I'm just picking apart every flaw of this rather flawed episode, one part I can’t really fault is its sense of scale. At no point do we ever see this prawn's entire massive being in frame.

They get saved by the giant krill in the end, and Fethry ends up going away standing on its colossal figure in glory. Even better, Dewey gets to call it the Dewnificent Krilldebeast. Gag over.

There were similar patterns with some of the other characters, especially with the already mentioned Gladstone Gander. Also, Glandstone Gander didn't have to have random scenes where he looks evil because we already hate him.

Finally, right at the end of the episode, we see Launchpad. He must have had quite the interesting adventure than the rest of the cast. Again, I have to unfavorably to The House of Lucky Gander, because they did the exact same thing in that episode. He only sums it up with “sea stuff”.

All is well, Dewey even manages to accept that this wacky uncle was cool to be with. But what about telling Scrooge about the stolen submarine, and how his Sublab is now in ruins? Dewey has a plan for that, in the very last line of the episode.

Dewey: Let’s go home and convince uncle Scrooge this was Louie’s idea!

Yeah, remember that kid? He probably would have added nothing to the episode, but hey, a reminder that he existed.

How does it stack up?

Guy is nuts, nephews react with disgust, everything turns out well in the end. Rinse and repeat, add a cliched misunderstanding, and you get this episode. There are some neat touches, but in the grand scheme of DuckTales 2017 episodes. A lot of the problem stems around the fact that I just didn't find Fethry that funny.

Sure, it's still better than the worst of other cartoons, but this is the first time I put my foot down and give this rating. Alas, while they hoped it was the best waste of time ever, I honestly thought of only three of those words.

I'm sure there's people who would disagree with this assessment. I fought myself with earlier episodes to give this rating and ending up just giving them Neutrals. However, Terra-firmians had cool Lena scenes, and Other Bin is too important to the overal arc and I ended up liking some of the scenes I did not like after future viewings. This doesn't have any of that.

Next, we get to learn what happened to Flintheart Glomgold since The Shadow War. Okay, there’s only been two episodes in this season, but that does seem like a long time for this reboot.

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[minaminokyoko]

Venom: A Spoilertastic Review (that is mostly just a rant)

When the end credits to the Venom movie started, just as Eminem began his embarrassingly uninspired rapping, I turned my head to one of my two friends and asked her, "What the hell did I just put into my eyeballs?"

To be frank, Venom is one of the most peculiar, bizarre, baffling films I've seen in years.

I want to preface this review by saying I was against this idea when it was announced. I thought it was beyond idiotic to make a film about a supervillain whose entire creation hinges on a certain Webhead, and since Sony lent him out to Marvel Studios (the only smart fucking decision they've made in probably over a decade, imo), they went off half-cocked with the hair-brained idea that they could create an anti-hero solo flick for Venom instead. To some degree, sure, they were warranted because the general audience these days has low fucking standards and if you put the words "comic book movie" in front of them, they're usually going to lap it up no matter how terrible it is. After all, fandom doesn't care about things being accurate anymore, by this point, if you dangle fresh meat like Tom Hardy riding a motorcycle in front of them. As long as there's an attractive person at the helm, fandom will just adopt it as canon and ignore any red flags, as they have already done. That being said, I still think this is one of the most blatantly stupid things done for money and for notoriety from any studio toting around a popular comic book character.

Is Venom as bad as legendary awful comic book movies like Catwoman, The Spirit, Batman & Robin, Daredevil, Green Lantern, or Spawn?

Well, no.

And that's almost the only positive thing I can report about it, personally. 

In short, Venom is inept. That's the word I'd choose, aside from bizarre. It has no fucking clue what it's doing at any given time, from start to finish. It's too wacky to be serious, too serious to be a parody or satire, too mature for kids, too childish for adults, too mainstream for nerds, and too nerdy for mainstream. It's just a piping hot fucking mess.

So let's dive into why. Spoiler alert.

Overall Rating: D

Pros:

-Note: I am being very fucking generous by giving this movie points for anything at all, just so y'all know.

-It's not boring. Other comic book movies that have failed, whether it's the really bad kind or just the mediocre kind, have failed worse than this movie simply because at least there aren't any dead periods. Venom doesn't have awful pacing, even with its sloppy, uneven story. It moves along at a steady rate and you can never accuse it of being a borefest like Superman Returns or something. Even though most of it is incomprehensible from a story standpoint, it keeps your attention throughout.

-The doctor boyfriend surprisingly averted the usual stereotype/archetype for this kind of story. For example, in the first Ant Man, the cop boyfriend who is with Scott's baby mama is a smug, overprotective dickhead who later gets better. Most of the time when a main couple breaks up, the girl picks some douchebag who is either so much better than her former lover that it just feels insulting or it's just a one-dimensional asshole for us to hate so we want the two of them to get back together. Hell, doctor boyfriend was actually TOO nice and understanding and helpful. There is no way in hell I'd have stuck it out after seeing Eddie bite the head off a goddamn lobster. I'd have sent his ass to a mental hospital immediately, fuck the regular hospital. That being said, I like the movie averting the trope. It was a welcome change and was awfully refreshing too.

-Even though this is one of his strangest fucking performances to date, Tom Hardy is doing what he always does and gives 110% to a film that really doesn't even deserve him. I've already been hearing rumors that he's not pleased with the final product and that doesn't surprise me, but he does what he can with that awful script and I appreciate the effort. In fact, the only reason I sat through this turd is for Tom Hardy. He is a dedicated, talented actor and even when he's in tripe, he's still busting his beautiful ass to make the best of it anyway. I like him a lot and I'd go to bat for him any day, which is the only reason I coughed up the money for Venom when I knew damn well it'd be a trainwreck.

-The effects are at least decent. Not always. But Venom and the symbiotes actually feel as if they're really there and it's not just the actors staring at a ball on a stick. I appreciate it, since Sony goes in and out of quality regarding CGI.

-Despite the fucking travesty of a fake clown wig on his head, Woody Harrelson is an excellent choice for Cletus Kasady. Everyone knows that. I just hope they get him a better hairpiece next time, sheesh.

Cons:

-Jesus fucking Christ, where do I fucking start?

-Plotholes. This movie doesn't have plotholes--it has plot canyons. It's plothole Inception, for God's sake, with holes inside of fucking holes. It's so clear that the movie doesn't give a rat's ass about anything because there are some of the most ridiculous moments you're expected to swallow with the power of Willing Suspension of Disbelief. It's why it took me a whole two days to try and write a review/analysis of the film. There is so much wrong with it that I frankly wasn't sure where to start and how to process it all. The best I can try to do considering the overwhelming number of holes in the story is go chronologically. First off, Eddie stealing Blondie's confidential documents (Note: Michelle Williams' character was so bland and unimportant I can't remember her name and I don't care to look it up because we all know she doesn't matter, so she is now Blondie) but then not doing his actual job as a journalist when making wild accusations is the first monumentally dumb thing in the film. Why the hell did he go through the trouble of breaching her personal security and trust if all he was going to do was rant about it to the Bad Guy without proof? What did he think it would accomplish? Why would you just confront the guy instead of looking for more proof? Plus, you stole that information, which means it's inadmissable in court since it was obtained illegally, so you still wouldn't have a case anyhow. Any writer with half a brain cell would simply have it so that Eddie read the document, became curious, and started snooping around Life Foundation himself looking for hard evidence that would stand up in court to get justice for the victims. The way they did it in the film makes no sense, but it's because they wanted to bust up the couple and make Eddie a "loser" to kickstart the rest of the film. Then, the girl who tattled on the Life Foundation 100% did not need Eddie Brock to do that. She had full access to the lab and the trust of her superior. All she had to do was document everything herself, send it to Eddie to pass along to his boss, and then skip town with her fucking kids to avoid being murdered. Hell, she could have given it to the authorities anonymously. Third, why after everything went tits up in the lab did she fucking return to the lab as if they wouldn't immediately know it was her? She was seen outside the lab seconds before Eddie set off the alarms and her palm print is recorded having opened the door to the lab. Why the fuck did she go back after she let Eddie in there with no way to cover her tracks? And then she actually told on herself and Eddie, which led to her death. I can't comprehend that level of stupidity at all. It's staggering. Because I'm trying not to turn this into a seven-page single spaced review, I'm just going to stop here and not try to point out all the other plotholes in detail, like the fact that the cops only get involved one time and are never seen again despite the fact that they'd be all over the explosions and missing people associated with the Life Foundation or Eddie's phone working perfectly after he swam under the fucking bridge or Eddie leaving his phone for his boss instead of just sending him the goddamn pictures or the symbiote magically knowing where Eddie was after they took him from the hospital. We'll be here all day if I keep going. I'll just reblog CinemaSins' eventual video of this movie and feel satisfied that way.

-The movie makes zero attempts at explaining anything about the symbiotes except for "they're vulnerable to fire and sound frequencies, need a host to survive, and eat brains." What is even stranger about the lack of explanation is that this isn't a long film. They could have easily added about ten minutes into the story to give us an overview of where they came from, what their world was like, how they found human contact, and why they were on that comet. All we can do is infer things, which pisses me off because this is YOUR story and YOUR new continuity that you just fucking made up on the fly, so I don't know the rules here and it's shitty of you to just gloss over it all. Why is it called Venom? Is that a translation from whatever the hell the symbiote was called on its own planet? Did it hear that somewhere and decide it liked the word? Why? Why does it get touchy if you call it a parasite when that is literally what it is? Is it like Ratigan from The Great Mouse Detective and it's just in denial? We have to guess that it knows whatever Eddie knows, but why does it have any conceptual knowledge of romance and relationships when it attempts to get Eddie to apologize to Blondie or when it says it "likes" her? Or that Eddie "changed its mind" at the end? And how can a symbiote even be a loser? That concept is almost universally human and it's a giant sentient piece of fucking tar? How can it possibly be a loser on its own planet? There is just no damn context for majority of the shit surrounding the symbiotes in the movie and it's all the more frustrating since we spend a great deal of time in the lab with them during the movie and yet we learn almost nothing.

-Eddie and the symbiote don't actually form a proper bond or partnership. This is one of the things that's irritating me about people who seem to have taken to the movie. I was told multiple times by people that the movie is stupid, but the repartee between Eddie and Venom is enjoyable. Not really, no. Are there quips? Yes, there are quips. But quips do not inherently create a bond. Anyone can bounce dialogue off each other. If said dialogue does not change the characters, then it's just lip service. Sadly, though, a lot of people don't notice that absolutely nothing between Eddie and Venom lines up. Venom helps Eddie survive the attacks, but is killing him in the process. It's self-interest alone. The truly confounding part is when they get Venom off of Eddie and find out Venom has basically been consuming Eddie's organs to stay alive inside him, Eddie acts betrayed and storms off, but then when Venom returns wearing Blondie as his guise, he just accepts it and they go off to the badly filmed climax. What the hell changed in between those scenes? Nothing. Eddie still runs the risk of dying being piloted by the symbiote, and while Eddie has motivation to stop Bad Guy (again, another character that is so thin I can't be bothered to learn his name) from bringing the symbiotes to earth, Venom is given zero reason to want that at all. As mentioned above, there's no backstory. Is Venom concerned his race will consume the earth? If so, who cares? There's seven billion people and Venom has already found Eddie, who is a suitable match for him to survive, so why does he care at all? Eddie would survive an invasion anyhow. It makes no damn sense. Films that have dealt with symbiotic relationships always establish a common ground at some point but Venom doesn't for some inexplicable reason. I'm incredibly frustrated that everyone's just going "tee hee, look, they're best friends now, it's cute" when in fact Eddie is just running around committing murder randomly without ever really contemplating how serious it is, even though he claims to only be eating bad people.

-Nitpick: Fridging two different female characters, the homeless lady and the Life Foundation tattletale, rubbed me entirely the wrong way. Both of them were in Eddie's vicinity, both die, and both are never brought up again or shown to have impacted Eddie's motivation or life. They are simply used and discarded, which is another thing that makes this movie feel so hollow.

-The tone is all over the fucking place. It can be argued that Venom never went full serious and is always sort of tongue-in-cheek, but there's just this ridiculous whiplash feeling when you watch it spike from an action scene to "wacky" Brock antics to Venom quips. Eddie's personality even before the symbiote is just confusing as hell. It's like stuffing a bunch of random character traits into one man and all of them are fighting to get out at once like the characters from Split. The most consistent thing is he's sarcastic, but even then his moods range far too widely to get a bead on him. He can be dry one minute and then frantic and excitable the next, and that's before the symbiote. After the symbiote, it's like they gave Tom Hardy cocaine and steroids. The man's acting is simply all over the damn place. He accepts near-impossible things sometimes with a shrug and other times he freaks out. The movie just doesn't know what the hell it's attempting to accomplish, and that's why mood and tone are important to set from the get-go with a film. It just slingshots between a faux-horror film and a snippy action flick over and over again until your head feels pulverized.

-The final action sequences is one of the dumbest, messiest things since Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. It's an ugly, dark, jumbled up mess. It's so indistinguishable that Godzilla (2014) can take potshots at it. Why in perfect blue hell did they choose two symbiotes with such similar appearances to showdown with each other on top of a rocket at night? It's so hard to see what the two of them are doing, who is winning or losing, or what kind of movement is happening at all. We also are never given the full range of their abilities, so the only real stake is when they pull off their hosts and their bodies are vulnerable, but even then it appears that Venom can raise Eddie from the dead seconds later anyhow. I'm stunned the movie couldn't even do a fake out death properly, which is so fucking easy that even Disney can do it. Eddie dies and is revived in less than fifteen goddamn seconds. The camera doesn't even linger on his body to sell the emotion (not that we'd ever have one, he is just barely a character anyway) before it just takes it right the hell back. That's filmmaking 101, for God's sake, and the movie blows it too.

-The last scene in the movie. In its entirety. I haven't been that exasperated since I stupidly forced myself to watch Pacific Rim: Uprising. There are so many things wrong with it that it's hard to know how to tackle it. I don't care that Eddie stopped that guy from extorting the shop owner--he openly turned into a 10 foot tall alien and ate a guy in front of her, and the movie just laughs and shrugs like it's just totally fine, like that woman isn't about to lose her shit, call the cops, or fuck, the NSA/FBI/CIA/Avengers on Eddie for making her a witness to murder, and endangering pretty much anyone around them. To say nothing of the fact that there is no reason a 10 foot tall alien with a million sharp teeth needs to say a single word to threaten someone. You are the threat, buddy. Your existence is the threat. Why did you need to insist on threatening to bite things off? You're terrifying and nothing you say is going to somehow make you scarier, especially when you just ate the guy anyway. It's like they just made that scene for the final trailer, much like that "I thought she was with you" comment all the way back in Batman v. Superman despite in-canon it made no sense. It's so unnecessary. And don't get me started on the fact that the crook actually asked the giant alien who it is. Fuck you. That was a lazy, transparent attempt to spoonfeed the wretched cliche that Michael Keaton's Batman made famous. (Consequently, all movies ever, please stop doing this cliche. Stop it. Just find another way to announce yourself. It's really tired, y'all, let it go already.) No human would ever look at that thing and ask it who the fuck it is. He'd piss himself and die of fright. Period. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Piss. Die. Period.

-Nitpick: Why was there that weird Godzilla (2014) trailer noise every time Venom attacked someone? Did they just steal it from public domain? They used it almost like the Inception horn cliche that Hollywood was obsessed with for a while and it took me right out of the scene every damn time.

-Nitpick: They really thought we're so stupid that we needed Kasady to actually say his character's name out loud. Look, you fuckers, you know goddamn well that end credits scenes are extras and that people can go home and Google things instead of you literally spelling it out for us. Hell, you know that not that many Average Joes and mainstream people went to this movie anyway since Venom is a second-stringer villain and your main demographic is die-hard Eddie Brock fans anyway. So having Kasady say the damn name “Carnage” in the post credits scene really was the final fart in my general direction. Give us some fucking credit, man. Venom has barely five plotlines to his whole character anyway. Of course we knew you were going to drop Carnage for the Sequel Hook, you condescending twat of a film.

Look, I get it. I'm hypercritical because I write fiction for a living. There are plenty of movies where turning your brain off is required in order to enjoy it, but I think this movie is asking me to get an entire lobotomy to be able to swallow the big-ass pill it's offering. It's just so sloppy and uncaring and yet it's holding its grubby little hands out for your money and your love and I think it's undeserving of it on every last level. It has zero comprehension of what it's trying to accomplish since it's a money grab, and its artistic choices are nothing short of bonkers. It's so strange that it even veers outside of the So Bad It's Good category for me. I can't in good confidence recommend it to anyone even though it's almost like a study in what not to do in both comic book movies and movies in general. It's weird in a distasteful way rather than in a charming way for me, honestly. I know people have rallied around it for being different and out there, but I don't think different and good are the same thing in Venom's case.

[davidjjohnston3]

I am mad at my biological father... People in Milwaukee have strong spirits but they don't test or discern from whence these spirits come (Satan); they have a kind of 'anti-a'ga'pe' that wants to send people to Hell.  I finally got fed up and started cursing or at least confuting in my head and heart, wishing there would be terrorized for messing with me / my soul.  I want them to be chastened.  In what universe is it OK to antagonize someone's soul rather than build them up / edify?  It's Babylon America: commerce is king, pornography is the supreme teacher(?), media is religion, movie-theaters are temples.  All this time my 'father-in-law' was trying to teach me the American way of lying to the civil authority and medical professionals... A while back I took stock of 'our' old family home and realized in some ways my biological parents are not that bad.  I told my biological father as much and he got even more mad / contemptuous of me. Do I not assess the man properly? Reddit got mad at me for saying 'social form' and some Christian on Twitter tried to 'nope(?!..=|)' me for saying I prayed Sec. Pompeo will be President.  'No room in the Kingdom for phony Christians.'  What's phony about defending the faith worldwide?   Paul Washer of HeartCry Ministries extols the authority of the African father and the son kneeling before him but Caucasian American dad-son relationships are not that way in my experience.  Once I bowed to my dad but it didn't mean much.  Once he bowed to me after my (near)-suicide-attempt in Korea and that did mean.. Anti-racism seemed like an important concept to me but then I thought there are so many people who just wanna get stuff and if I met Ibrim X. Kendi in real life he's probably be cordial enough but not hesitate to unlease looters and rioters against me for his vision of the greater good not to say communist-disintegrationist-chaoticist utopia.   Everyone in Milwaukee seemed to be mad at me a while back since the story of me in Korea at the high school was not 100% storybook.  'Oh David James Johnston he fell in love with his 16-17-year-old student, but realized they are being left behind or the Korean War is really terrible and they're all in danger up there then some things happened with the faculty and he tried to kill himself.'  That is not totally inaccurate but I wasn't 100% the depressive melancholy young prince over the last 9 years.  I had some ambitions and I studied a lot and I also had bad habits like smoking. I got a short-sleeved white polo shirt at the department store and lost a bit more weight.  I am around 5'11 165 I would guess.  I really have to make sense of my cardiac condition although hopefully it was acute / idiopathic from the Pfizer vaccine.  What scares me is that I had a foreaugury or prophecy(?) of it in 2016 when I felt something like a powdery liquid running down behind my breastbone at the same time as when I was walking around Lake Park in terror of Koreans from the past coming to kill me, angel soldiers, 'the stars throwing down their tears,' the tiger of wrath, and also, feeling like God was feeding me something without having to eat. I still haven't read all of Blake's 'America: A Prophecy.'

* The psychiatrist whom I respect offered or 'ordered' me Prozac last week and it made me think.  I feel almost like the Boomers saw Millennial children as having no souls.  My parents wanted to send me to Hell.  My mother always used to speak about 'Rosemary's Baby' and when I was young I ran around with a red cape in a strawberry patch.  My mother told me this when I was in the mental hospital in 2013, afraid of the color red and not wanting to tear my chicken sandwich since I thought that it was metonymic(?) for tearing the Scripture rather than swallowing / appreciating it whole.   'We Boomers worked hard, stopped the ['totally causeless not trying to help anyone'] Vietnam War, Civil Rights, moreover weathered the traumas of JFK, MLK, RFK assassinations; ergo we earned the right to treat our daughters as sex-slaves and fire out our sons in order the better to take advantage of our neighbors' daughters whilst also amusing ourselves by medicating and psychologizing our kids rather than loving them and tending / nurturing / ministering to their souls.'   I didn't take the Prozac but I did think of (Ms. / Artist / [Singer]) Kim Taeyeon - 'Love in Color' is my favorite song of hers which makes me think about abortion-culture in a way and how 'too many choices' can destroy or over-modulate the distance or scuff and wear down the love in a relationship - and bipolar disorder.  I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2012 and suffered manic symptoms for most of my childhood.  I felt in the hospital that one possible 'aetiology' or origin / backstory of bipolar is knowing that people out there want to kill you; or even, damn your soul to perdition / Hell / everlasting eternal conscious torment for displeasing them or going against their norms / expectations. My diagnosis was later jacked up to schizoaffective / bipolar schizoaffective, then nearly 'crossed the ionosphere' into schizophrenia, and is now back to schizoaffective thanks to the wonderful, integrity- and probity-filled psychiatrist, who was also the only person telling the truth and not being a corporatist tank-driving-vehicular-manslaughterer at my commitment hearing where Father in Law lied to a district judge and the justice system treated me like a second-class system.  The ONLY person whose yes was yes and no was no. I still think sometimes about 'the condition of fiction.'  I wish I could develop my more scholarly ideals sometimes rather than writing in this 'free' style as I don't really like freedom I like formality and rules. I miss [].  I used to see so many colors and I saw this person in my mind's eye / Spirit when I met her online; but yesterday I felt like I just saw 'dark red.'

*

My brother is really rich (from Data Science)... I need to mend fences with him... I feel as if over the years I might've had mixed motives in 'taking him under my wing.'  We had a bad relationship when I was young and I even stole money from him a couple of times.  I also tried to catch him looking at pornography online rather than rebuke or chastise or plead with him not to, for courting death and failure.  I just wanted to embarrass / shame him. I helped him get a job shortly after the Great Recession and I guess some part of me falsely believed he owed me a favor for that. I sent him many books over the years. After my initial diagnosis of a possibly disabling mental disorder my mother told me he had said that I could live with him if I needed help but that no longer seems a possibility - in fact he said, 'I never said that.'  I was worried since I'm weak.  Hopefully God willing I can get back to where I was a couple of months ago and actually execute sth like the description of the educational administrative job that I was offered. I came to a point in my life lately where I no longer know whether something is destiny.  When I took the HS job in Korea - maybe the biggest decision of my life - I was confident.  But in the last couple of months has been a tempest or fog of war or I simply made so many decisions I don't recognize myself completely.   I want to work on 'Leaving Babylon' or 'Leaving Milwaukee' or 'Leaving America.'  There are or seem to be good Christians in Milwaukee but why live in Babylon - commercial empire worshipping all kinds of false prophetesses, porneia, objects, death, child-rape, abortion, post-partum abortion, automobiles, meals, brands, money / Mammon and other 'stuff' Pastor Timothy Keller calls 'Counterfeit Gods' (to say too little since they're actually often demons from Hell)... I'm not sure how to write it without penning distracting trash that would give wannabe writers bad habits and make naive readers think they know more than they do. My net worth is about 2,000 dollars but I want to give it away just because I'm mad.  I thought about selling my Lenovo X-1 laptop since it's Chinese Communist poison / curse, I know it's hacked by Huawei or whoever through a nano(?)chip, Father in Law tracks with AI... I heard the new Samsung smaller notebooks have around a 17-hour battery-life.

Milwaukee's Child Protective Services appear to be some kind of CCP-derived 'metaphor-joke.'  Amber Alert a child has been kidnapped in either a silver Kia or a Chevy Impala.  You can mount a plate-reading AI-camera on a 50-dollar drone easily...

I'm applying to a job in Korea.  I have no idea if I'll get in.  It is in my favorite neighborhood, and I liked the video of their staff. This would be a 'redemption-arc' for me.  'I am so exciting.'   I don't know if it can be. I listened to a few minutes of 'Inferno' by C. Cho.  Masterpiece.   Did I ever pay dues like a BigLaw junior associate?  Was I ever fast-tracked?   Career-decisions are difficult.  I have literal rejection-demons, I think, or uncertainty-demons.  Maybe it is Belial himself: sensuality plus intellectual abnegation.  Like I want to pretend the Spirit isn't there.   Other people also suffer disappointment-demons, I feel.  Loss-demons.   Understanding others can be challenging, and the fun of it, moreover, is overrated for some people.  IDK if I can ever. And too, some people, once you understand them - when they realize you understand them - become shameless.  They get more seared-conscience than ever, like the only reason they were ever acting good was to save / maintain face.  'Buyaolian.'   In past I tried to be all things to all men but lately I ended up trying to be 'Chinese mistress' to someone in a bad way.  I had already tried 'Japanese daughter, daughter-in-a-box.'  I don't know why I don't try 'son' except it makes him fake more than usual, that I know of. I felt praised like a daughter when I got praised; although maybe it is just me. 'Hello Kitty is a girl,' Said the Sanrio person. I looked at our family cat Ariel the other day and thought, 'my adult daughter Yves from LOONA.'   He used to look like a manly lion, like Jesus even, the Lion of Judah. Cats are feminine. I would get a cat but I just want to teach and write. This cat seems at peace; he no longer overeats nor conversely is hyperthyroidal and thin / 'dried out.' I miss the cat Pukah from down the way, who was fat and 'crepitant' in her voice-sound.  I took care of her for pay and bought some Audiobooks with the 'loot' or 'lucre.'

I honestly have a theory about Koreanness I don't like to share called 'Han Death Runes' that says some people see Koreans - women and girls - and just want to rape and beat and kill them.  They just do.  Japanese soldiers / officers / the entire government did.  Doubtless Chinese did before that.  Korean men did too.  Caucasian men do now.  Other people look at babies and want to kill them - not a joke, empirical Science has recorded it; Saint Augustine some 1600 years ago developed the category of Original Sin.

For a time I was convinced that ShowerThoughts on Tumblr was the Korean girl whom I attempted to save from attempted sex-trafficking by implying she should work hard in tenth grade and learn about [AI, IT]... 

I am interested in helping orphans and other young people; today in lieu of the Lead Teacher offer I missed out on I applied to some Assistant jobs at Christian private and charter schools and was impressed with the humaneness of the management-questions on the online hiring-assessment.  Nonetheless, ‘Blessed Are the Peacemakers,’ and the world will need I think / believe for somebody to prove that it is possible to take care of young people who don’t have good parents such as through a better orphanage-system someday.  At least, this is kind of what I dream and daydream about.  I think Saint Paul would talk more about older women helping younger women to be good mothers, however, or ‘teaching’ them, whatever that means.  

The pro-life cause as this political cartoon long ago pointed out is supposed to be in favor of life far beyond the emergence in to this world as a defenseless eight-pound baby.  

*

I feel lately as if I ‘waged a war for peace’ and ended up as the only casualty.  I don’t mean to aggrandize myself.  I strengthened my enemies and all I got out of it was a clarified love.  I hope / wish that this constitutes suffering and not just punishment before Moses for being a bad teacher with abominable taste in student clientele, and also forget to send off graduates with a graceful hail and blessing, maybe a final exhortation and prayer, and let them be they.

[theliterateape]

Before You Go All-in on Antifa, Try Becoming Antifra First

by Don Hall

The laughter at my expense was not the kind of guffawing that accompanies a sense of genial ribbing but of Biff Tannen cracking up at the awkward geekiness of George McFly.

"What do you think queer means, Don?"

"I always thought queer meant gay."

Laughter. "No. Queer means refusing to accept the binary in sex."

"Isn't that bisexual?"

Cackles. "No. Bisexual is having a sexual attraction to both biological sexes."

"Who the fuck decided that? Was there a memo sent out?"

The evolution of language is, taken as a long tail concept, natural. When the Miriam Webster Dictionary enters finna (contraction. DIALECT•US, verb. finna: going to; intending to. "I'm finna make a scene") one has to grudgingly accept the fact. It is both the codifying of slang as standard and the pushing the envelope of common dialect. It can get confusing but it is as normal as language itself.

The term fragile is very popular in 2021 but I'm not certain the people who use it as a political label have an understanding of what it means. The redefinition seems to be a synonym for defensive but that isn't even close to the original so it doesn't play. Considering how loaded the term has become politically, I'd suggest we take a look at the pre-DiAngelo meaning and embrace it some before we continue forcing the evolution.

Back to that handy tome of mutual agreement of terms, the dictionary has a few definitions of fragile:"easily broken or damaged", "flimsy or insubstantial; easily destroyed.", and "not strong or sturdy; delicate and vulnerable".

A nine year old boy is enticed to have penetrative sex with his fourteen year old babysitter one afternoon while his little sister watches Joe Namath as "C.C. Ryder" on the television a room away. 

This is either molestation or an uncomfortably early rite of passage. The argument can be made that a nine year old cannot give consent but that's not how I remember it. A more fragile person might see this experience as traumatic. He might internalize shame and let the shame fester until he finally explodes like a liter of Diet Coke and a Mento tab. An anti fragile person might see it as no different than playing in the streets when the sewers back up the neighborhood becomes a river in the rain. No stigma, no shame, no harm.

The anti fragile adult is going to have a happier life if not the attention lauded upon a fragile victim of circumstances beyond his control.

I was a latchkey kid.

We lived in an apartment complex on the less than affluent side of town. Mom worked several jobs and the step-dad at the time was a preening, disco-dancing domestic abuser. As such, I found myself out and about without a lot of safety nets in place. I played in a septic ditch just on the outer parameter of the complex. On the other side was an abandoned housing development and I frequently went over there alone to practice my karate (which I thought I was learning from watching David Carradine in Kung Fu, a popular episodic featuring a white man posing as an Asian man who saved people with his peaceful but forceful side kicks). I’d kick holes in the drywall pretending it was comprised of bad guys.

On the north side was, in my mind, a forest but in reality was just a bunch of trees in several abandoned lots. Whenever I ran away from home (a feat that usually lasted until I was tired or hungry) I would go to my forest and “read” the tattered copies of Playboy and Penthouse I had stolen from the aforementioned step-parent.

To the south was a playground for the kids in the complex. A rickety swing set, a teeter-totter, and a broken merry-go-round surrounded by garbage dumpsters. A cursory examination of the dumpsters—a routine activity for a vagabond third grader—revealed a coterie of used hypodermic needles, marijuana roaches, empty liquor bottles and fast food trash.

It’s likely that parents reading this have already crossed themselves or knocked on wood in deference to the fact that their children would never be put in these positions. That their children are safe.

One day, as I had exhausted myself from kicking holes into drywall villains, I headed to the playground. There was no one else around and I decided that I wanted to swing but not on the actual rubber strap. I unhooked the strap from the hefty S-hook it hung from and grabbed it like Tarzan on a vine. I started to swing around in circles holding as tightly as I could to the chain.

Slowly, I began to slide down until the S-hook punctured my white jeans and then into my scrotum. I felt some discomfort and looked down and saw blood on my crotch but I couldn’t disengage. I was hooked, by my ballsack, to the chain. I panicked and did my best to scramble up the chain but the S-hook was firmly in there and the chain just followed me up.

I screamed for help. No help arrived. I struggled and the blood started running down my left pant leg, flowering out like a Rorschach. It seemed I was hanging there for hours but the reality was more likely a few minutes until the hook, now greased with blood, slid out of my nuts and I fell to the dirt. 

Leaping up, I dropped trou on the spot to inspect the damage but there was so much blood that I couldn’t see what was actually a small leaking hole. I cried. I squalled. With my pants around my knees, I ran home.

I smashed into the front door screaming bloody murder that my balls were bleeding. My mother, shocked by the sight of her 9-year-old kid, reddened pants around his knees, crotch covered in blood, and in high hysteria (I mean, who make among us wouldn’t be?), laughed out loud. A giggle turned into a laugh transforming to a barking guffaw.

The more dramatic I was about it, the harder she laughed. Out of shock, out of horror, out of knowing how melodramatic her son was prone to be. She giggled as she washed my junk off and saw the tiny hole. She giggled episodically as she put an ice pack on it and tossed me in the car to go to the emergency room. She stopped laughing by the time we reached the hospital and I received two stitches on the underside of my underside.

A more fragile person might grow up with this experience in desperate need to pay someone to listen to his trauma.

"My mother laughed at my bleeding scrotum!" he'd wail as the therapist did her best to stifle her own laughter. He might write a book much later after his antidepressants and struggle session with his mother commenced entitled "Men and The Mothers Who Giggled at Their Nuts" and an article in The Atlantic "Incels and Their Reasons."

An anti fragile person might see this as pretty fucking funny.

In 1992, I was mugged just outside the Granville Redline stop in Chicago. It was around 2:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning. I had just played a gig on the Southside with a big band known as The Outcasts and, still in my tuxedo, decided to walk the block to an all-night diner for some breakfast when three young black men hit me with a two-by-four and then proceeded to kick the shit out of me on the sidewalk.

They stole $14.00 in cash and a check for $200.00 from the gig.

Bruised but not broken, when I told the police that I was mugged by three young black guys and what were the chances I'd get my money back, they laughed. Not like Biff Tannen but more along the lines of Denzel in Training Day to a naive Ethan.

Later, when I met with Gil, the drummer and band leader, to have him cut me another check, Gil muttered as he canceled the first "N****rs are the fucking worst." It would have been cause for some sort of reckoning except that Gil was black.

A fragile mind might find himself going over and over the incident, blaming himself, blaming black men everywhere, blaming the cops. 

An anti fragile mind understands that shit happens and you can't dwell too much on it because that means you're spending a lot of time thinking about shit.

The more time one spends dwelling on shit, the worse the place smells. It's like living with five cats. At some point, you have no idea that your apartment stinks like cat asshole but your Tinder date sure does.

Commonsense Media has polled some info out and it seems that the kids are wallowing in catshit.

23% of 14- to 17-year-olds say they "often" came across racist comments on social media in 2020 — nearly double the number in 2018 (12%).

"Sadly, but not surprisingly, the teens and young adults who are most likely to be affected by such content are also most likely to encounter it — or recognize and remember it," says the study, which was done in partnership with Hopelab and the California Health Care Foundation.

Black young people are more likely than whites to see racist comments "often" (34% vs 23%). LGBTQ+ youth are more than twice as likely than non-LGBTQ+ youth to encounter homophobic comments (44% vs 18%). Females are more likely to encounter sexist and body shaming posts than males.

On top of all this feline fecal material, it turns out that both actual mental health issues as well as the frequently self-diagnosed PTSD cases are dramatically on the rise. Where, in my formative years, comparisons of how many push-ups one could do was common, today's kids compare anti-depressant cocktails.

Under almost any definition, this is the behavior of fragility. Fragile like a Fabergé Egg in the back of a pickup truck on a dirt road going 75 miles an hour.

Surrounded by catshit, constantly seeing the injury you're looking for and thus finding it everywhere, always feeling aggrieved and victimized. What the fuck can you do except feel like you need to be bathed in Bactine just to survive life's never-ending abrasions?

First, decide what's more important than your feels. 

Most people let their every waking moment be dictated by feelings—both theirs and everyone else's. This is a one-way path to thinner skin, gentler sacks, and a general inability to live in a world outside of an echo chamber that has been hermetically sealed.

Becoming anti fragile is the process of understanding that there are a lot of things more important than your feelings. Romulans are fragile; Vulcans are not. This isn’t to say you shouldn’t have the feels—just don’t let them make your decisions for you. It might feel great to scream at the obnoxious woman at the Walgreen’s counter but it’s smarter to mind your business and buy your condoms and Zagnut bar while shutting the fuck up.

Second, get better at feeling bad and keeping it to yourself.

Just like most people allow their lives to be led by the nose by their feelings, most people think they are somehow important. They aren’t. You aren’t. The way skin thickens up is by taking some hits and learning that there are far worse things than being insulted, micro-aggressed, or shamed publicly. Grow a sack and a sense of proportion.

Finally, as the Stoics go, assume you have something to learn in every interaction rather than you have something to teach. I mean, who the fuck are you? To most people, you aren’t anyone of note so suck on the bitter teat of humility and join the throng, kiddo.

As Jalāl ad-Dīn Mohammad Rūmī once wrote "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise so I am changing myself."

Be wise because clever people write for McSwenis and those assholes suck.

[ramrodd]

Newt Gingrich, the Son of Man and the Rape of Congress.

COMMENTARY:

It turns out, your corespondent was correct; Donald J; Trump has emerged as the Anti-Christ, constitutionally. He's actually not the Anti-Christ, but the more like King Saul: he is jealous of the actual contituntional Philosper-King, We, the People. He along with the Movement Conservatives who consider themselve the original Reananaucs, have been led astray by Newt Gingrich since he bagan his agenda to become Speaker of the House.Gringrich has been running an Trotsky-inspired political scam on America based on the formula for creating a domestic, internal insurgence leading to polarization, tribal confrontation, violent revolution and regime change by political coup.

As I recall, your correspondent referred to Daniel 3, Daniel 6 and Daniel 9. Daniel 7:12 is, or course, the Son of Man and the numerological triangulation of this guy's prophecy revolves around Obama when it started and Trump. The GOP has been engaged in a domestic insurgency since William F. Buckley, Jr, published his Sharon Statement and established Movement Conservatives like Rick WIlson, Nicole Wallace, Tucker Carlson and Laura Ingraham through his farm system for engaging and developing people with the same crypto-Nazi cogintive organization as Mike Pompeo, Mick Malverny and Tom Cotton and give them a lucrative career advancing a Newty's program of insurgency as useful idiots.

Now, we have had an election where that prophecy is being played out in real time on Twitter until the Rape of Congress by Trump's followers, who are almost entirely useful idiots who add mass to the demonstration, but at the tip of that lynch mob, the Proud Boys,/white supremacists/ Q-ANON conspiracy to inspire a race war, Virtually all of them are Pro-Life.

Pro-Life is the Anti-Christ.

Now, the people around Obama/Biden were engaged in the Democratic Socialsm of Jefferson Deomocracy as reformed by the 13th Amendment. The numerology of the 13th Amendment, is the same numerology as the Son of God in Daniel 7:13,  That is, Jesus is very often attached to the number 13 in some way as either the finger of God, Himself (which Jesus most certainly was) or it was the finger of God, Itself. It is just a consitent figure of speack in the entire narrative of the Bible, from "In the Beginning" to Amen in Revelation. Numerology is a signpost installed by God from the very first and over the centuries. In that regard, it is perfectly inerrant.

And I couldn't explaing this to you in this manner if the Arabs hadn't invented the numerological symbot for "nothing" Zero/0. Zero doesn't exist, numerologically, in the narrative of the Bible (or anywhere in the Judeo-Christian literature, codified and uncodified,  as a concept, until the Romans showed up. Everbody used alphabets that had originated out of number after Melchezidek came along. He was part of the guild associated with the Magi of Matthew.  This guild apparently  spread out across the Mediterrean and planted some seeds of wisdom gleaned from the systematic application of process theology to the universe as it unfolds out infront of us. The big change they made was to introduce 9 base numerology to replace the 8 base numerology of the Egyptian priests, which had produced the social economic structues based on building pyramids as important scientific observations of the firmament. Intellectually, 8 base numerology is a cul-de-sac and becomes decadent. It's a closed system economics, zero-sum/engineering/gold-based banking that was preventing the globalization of the capitalism the Roman empire brought to the world. I mean, there was stuff that began to occur at that moment, when the seed of 9 base numerology began to grow in Abraham's imagination, to Bretton Woods. This is the thing about Elizabeth Warren: she is hooked into that righteous banking model.

But it really became jet propelled when Islam inventing Zero/0 as a useful symbol of accounting. And the only thing that has prevented this rigtheous banking system to take mankind to Space is everything connected with William F. Buckley's Sharon Statement of 1960 but creating the Tsusamie of the Rape of Congress on 7 January 2021.  

Remember Daniel, Chapter 7, where the Finger of God designates the Son of God. 7 very often is used as a lightening rod where the lightening from the Finger of God will enter into history as a Sign. So, Daniel 7:13 is the place where the Finger of God sets the process in motion to produce The Cross and Daniel 7:13 the Finger of God has touch America with divine intent and produce the Rape of Congress that can be traced from 1960 through Speaker Gingrich to Steve Bannon to 7 January 2021, God created a lightening rod to expose the working of Satan in the American body politic and that agency is Newt Gingrich. Trump just happened to be his marionnette.

Trump didn't become a crime boss until he won the election with intellectual property his Moscow partners in the 2013 Miss Universe Contest stole from the DNC and Clinton campaign by committing treason with a transnational crime consortium.. They've had him by the balls the whole time and Putin has nothing to do with it.

Now, the only question in my mind was how much coordination went on between Gingrich, Bannon and this transnation criminal consortius which is currently has America under seige with a Nory based cyber-attach trying to look like it's coming out of the Kremlin. This is the reason for the structural polarization Newty's political strategy creates, to overthrow Congress and the federal government.  I mean, if you've read Atlas Shrugged, she describes exactly what Newt Gingrich has been doing since he got into politics: Newty is the answer to "Who is John Galt".

Virutally all Libertarians have been useful idiots for this insurgency since they began attending YAF meetings and the C-PAC convention annually. It's like Comic-Con or a Trekkie or AmWay convention only focused on reinforcing the Virtue of Selfishness, Public Choice economics and narcissism the new righteousness. The basic Pro-Life Evangelical community family values.

All the Pro-Life Evangelical warriors who participated in the Rape of Congress pretty well define the right-wing useful idiot, while the people who Trump launched down Pennsylvania Avenue as a shot below the warterline of The Constitutional Ship of State, the basic cannon foder led by peoole being financed by the transnationa criminal constortium with Euro-dollar black mone being laundered through PayPal and Patreon.

How can you tell the difference between the cash flows of the Koch brothers to the Prouc Boy insurgency and Vory drug money?

You can't. That is one of the functions of Citizens United: it's all green. It goes into Meta Chruchs like First Presbyterian and, from my perspective, shouldn't be stopped. The fact is, we need to repartriate these black eurodollars to repair the damage done by the pandemic and whatever damage the Trump administration has done to the US Economy, which scares me in connection with the connection between John Galt and the potential collapse of American finances that was avoided in 2008.

And your coorespondent intuited the Finger of God in contemporary American politics by a using a narrative 2500 years old employing the numerology of the Bible. My biggest complaint about Christian apologetics is that it is just another version of the Marxist dialectic historic deconstruction that became the dominant paradigm in the 60s cultural wars (and continuing). History is a forensic science, like the practice of law, and in, Christian apologetics, history is superior to narrative/literature as a social construct.  And, as a literature major, that pisses me off.  Before history could congeal to abstract reconstruction, narrative IS. In the Beignning was the Word and history emerged from one of the ribs of the Word by way of narrative.

And before the Word was in the mind of God, Number IS. I Am that I Am: number the stars if you can.

And, again, Islam provides an essential validation of number in the mind of The One (as is presented in Revelation 4.2) in Sura 74:30 "And above it is 19" employing symbols I can employ to explain how number works as a figure of speach and a jewel in the fabric of Scripture. All that tapestry is lost in historical reconstruction because it doesn't seem to be evidence that can be defended in a court of law or a PhD defense.

But there it is. You have been praying all your life of a sign from God and now you have one: the Rape of Congress on 7 January 2021, as I write this 7 days and a wake-up from a constitutionally processed peaceful Change of Command.

[passingthru]

introduction part 1

hello tumblr. i’ve made this awkward decision to write about having bipolar disorder. Partly to de-stigmatize it, partly to get or give support to whomever passes by, and, partly because I need an outlet where I can slowly lay out all the chaos in my head and find some peace and order doing so.

I’m somewhere in Asia, and i’m closer to 40. I only started receiving treatment for bipolar disorder end of 2015, but I’ve been on and off anti-depressants since 2012. Prior to 2012, I was doing well enough. Survived a lot of things, was living independantly. Had a good enough job. Then I had a major depressive cycle that slammed me for a month or so. It was so uncharacteristic of me to simply not go to work, I just didn’t show up, I stayed in my room. I ate sparingly, I slept whenever, I lost my concept of time. I started to get afraid of people at the door, I struggled to go out and get food, and I didn’t look after myself or my pets well. No washing, no chores. At first, I was just so overwhelmed with emotions I cannot really define, but I needed to let something out. Somehow, cutting came into my head. So I did run a blade over my thigh. It was only when I saw blood welling up and out, that I felt that I could breathe. Subsequently, I did it whenever I felt panic. And then I just lost all energy. The days blurred together. I can’t remember who came to look for me first, it might have been my boss, or my siblings. Whoever it was, it was obvious to all that I simply wasn’t functioning. Hence, we sought professional help. That’s when I started getting anti-depressants, and sleeping pills. I gave up my job, and home, and moved in with my parents.

My treatment for depression was not productive. It was chaotic. I went through so many different cocktails of anti-depressants and sleeping pills over a period of 2-3 years. Sometimes I was OK, sometimes I wasn’t. I was probably, what do they call it? hypomanic, at some intervals. (I’m actually still not so sure about the distinction between hypomania and mania yet, so…) I didn’t feel like cutting when I was anxious but there was a time, I was so enraged over something, that I cut myself on my thigh through my trousers, and they were deeper and messier cuts. I just didn’t feel them, I guess. I’m not sure if this was a manic or depressive phase. My memory started to lapse. My sleep was not restful. I started to mis-manage my medications. I stole extra pills from my mom’s prescription sleeping pills. I felt so desperate, because I just wasn’t myself for so long, and I was tired. When my meds ran out, I didn’t return to see the doctor.

fast forward to 2015. My family says I was manic. I had registered a business, and was running an e-commerce shop from my bedroom. I was also freelancing doing odd jobs. They said I didn’t stop to eat, or rest. I was smoking like a chimney, and spending money I couldn’t afford to spend. I solicited funds from friends and family to try to make it all work. I got hoodwinked, and invested money and effort into a money scam. After I realised what I had lost, something peaked. Next thing I know, my brain slowed down. My body slowed down. I had to wrap a package and send it out to a customer. God, it took me about half an hour to write the address, and place the stamp. My body and brain and eyes were just not working. It was like I was a zombie. Then I stopped being aware of my surroundings and my actions. I found out later that these were signs of psychomotor retardation, probably in response to stopping my medication. This lasted for 4 months, probably because my family were split into camps about what to do with me, how to handle it, etc. Seeing that I seemed lazy or uninspired, I was booted to another country and into a rehab programme that promised to keep me active. Somehow, with all the twists and turns and decisions and arguments my family had, I ended up there. This turned out to be hell on earth.

For one thing, this facility ... I don’t think it was legit at all. It was privately run. They said it was group therapy for “troubled people” and drug addicts/sex addicts, whatever, but it was actually just a boot camp. Not therapy. We were all lumped together and drilled 24/7 like we were in the army PRISON. Strip searches were a daily affair. You’re handcuffed if you have to leave the facility to see a doctor, for example. I was handcuffed several times. You bathe in the open bathroom (there are cubicle doors but they won’t let you close them) for an allowance of 5 mins, with a bucket of water. male and female dormitories and bathrooms are separate, small blessing. Punishments included standing all day and facing the wall, or washing floors with wet rags and buckets of water. They didn’t have mops. You have to shout all day long responding to people and be shouted at yourself. kinda like shouting yes, sir! and yes, maam! all day but it was not in English. They called it shouting therapy, so that you would be able to cope with stress on the outside. You don’t have time enough to pee, so you do it at the same time while brushing your teeth. Always made to run from place to place. I think it would be hard enough on anyone really, but I really couldn’t function and couldn’t cope with all of that. I’ve been through a uniformed group bootcamp before, so i’m used to undergoing training. but this was a place where they really stripped you down of your identity. here, i was a dog.  I couldn’t sleep. Physically (yes, I’m gonna spell it all out), I couldn’t poop. I didnt have time to, and maybe I was just too stressed. I also stopped having my period. I was in full anxiety over hygiene, and all sorts of EVERYTHING. I was denied contact with my family and I lost all hope. I was supposed to be in touch with their in-house psychiatrist but it turned out to be a weekly affair in group sessions, not one-on-one. Their programme wasn’t in my language. I just had to pick up their lingua. Every time I asked for help, I got mocked first. They just kept on saying that I was trying to manipulate them. And it never solved anything. The other rehab people, called trainees, were so unnerving. they were like sheep outwardly, then secretly cussing out the rehab facilitators and programme and the people who put them in it. they kept telling me to blend in, and wait it out for 12 months. I was like, 12 months??? whaaat? I was stressed but I wasn’t the only one. the whole group got called for punishment because someone in the boy’s shower left poop on the floor during bath time. well honestly, if you don’t give us time for our daily ablutions, an accident like that will happen. honestly, they treated us like we weren’t human, always deriding us, talking down to us, removing our basic rights. Ugh! The bad memories. Suffice it to say, one day I stabbed myself repeatedly (pencil, no major damage), and was subsequently kept tied up. Why did I stab myself? I was freaking out. By that time, I just wanted to kill myself, and I was hoping the pencil would puncture something vital. there was nothing else to use. anyway they made the other girls hold me down to secure me. By day, to a chair, and by night, to the bed. The girls were told they would be punished if I hurt myself.  I was given medication. They would loosen my bonds for me to eat and pee, and untie me so I could bathe, but otherwise, I was bound. I kept fighting them. I had to. I desperately needed sleep, and i just needed to be horizontal, but they told me I didn’t deserve it. It was only when I developed a rash from the cloth ropes, that I was moved to nurse care on their psychiatric floor. the rehab programme was separate from their psychiatric floor. so i finally got to rest. I was in that facility for 2 months… when I came out, I was so glad but I was so unnerved, and I begged and I pleaded and I finally got sent back home on a plane. And I went to the government hospital here (safer, trustworthy, but wait a long time to get an appointment) and the doctor said I’ve got bipolar disorder and started treating me. Here ends part 1. Yes, it’s so dire, I know. It’s like a movie. but it’s my real life. Part 2 will be more of coming to terms with being bipolar and that’s relatively free from drama.

[ramrodd]

33. The Blind Man of Bethsaida (8:14 – 26)

COMMENTARY:

It turns out, your corespondent was correct; Donald J; Trump has emerged as the Anti-Christ, constitutionally. He's actually not the Anti-Christ, but the more like King Saul: he is jealous of the actual contituntional Philosper-King, We, the People. He along with the Movement Conservatives who consider themselve the original Reananaucs, have been led astray by Newt Gingrich since he bagan his agenda to become Speaker of the House.Gringrich has been running an Trotsky-inspired political scam on America based on the formula for creating a domestic, internal insurgence leading to polarization, tribal confrontation, violent revolution and regime change by political coup.

As I recall, your correspondent referred to Daniel 3, Daniel 6 and Daniel 9. Daniel 7:12 is, or course, the Son of Man and the numerological triangulation of this guy's prophecy revolves around Obama when it started and Trump. The GOP has been engaged in a domestic insurgency since William F. Buckley, Jr, published his Sharon Statement and established Movement Conservatives like Rick WIlson, Nicole Wallace, Tucker Carlson and Laura Ingraham through his farm system for engaging and developing people with the same crypto-Nazi cogintive organization as Mike Pompeo, Mick Malverny and Tom Cotton and give them a lucrative career advancing a Newty's program of insurgency as useful idiots.

Now, we have had an election where that prophecy is being played out in real time on Twitter until the Rape of Congress by Trump's followers, who are almost entirely useful idiots who add mass to the demonstration, but at the tip of that lynch mob, the Proud Boys,/white supremacists/ Q-ANON conspiracy to inspire a race war, Virtually all of them are Pro-Life.

Pro-Life is the Anti-Christ.

Now, the people around Obama/Biden were engaged in the Democratic Socialsm of Jefferson Deomocracy as reformed by the 13th Amendment. The numerology of the 13th Amendment, is the same numerology as the Son of God in Daniel 7:13,  That is, Jesus is very often attached to the number 13 in some way as either the finger of God, Himself (which Jesus most certainly was) or it was the finger of God, Itself. It is just a consitent figure of speack in the entire narrative of the Bible, from "In the Beginning" to Amen in Revelation. Numerology is a signpost installed by God from the very first and over the centuries. In that regard, it is perfectly inerrant.

And I couldn't explaing this to you in this manner if the Arabs hadn't invented the numerological symbot for "nothing" Zero/0. Zero doesn't exist, numerologically, in the narrative of the Bible (or anywhere in the Judeo-Christian literature, codified and uncodified,  as a concept, until the Romans showed up. Everbody used alphabets that had originated out of number after Melchezidek came along. He was part of the guild associated with the Magi of Matthew.  This guild apparently  spread out across the Mediterrean and planted some seeds of wisdom gleaned from the systematic application of process theology to the universe as it unfolds out infront of us. The big change they made was to introduce 9 base numerology to replace the 8 base numerology of the Egyptian priests, which had produced the social economic structues based on building pyramids as important scientific observations of the firmament. Intellectually, 8 base numerology is a cul-de-sac and becomes decadent. It's a closed system economics, zero-sum/engineering/gold-based banking that was preventing the globalization of the capitalism the Roman empire brought to the world. I mean, there was stuff that began to occur at that moment, when the seed of 9 base numerology began to grow in Abraham's imagination, to Bretton Woods. This is the thing about Elizabeth Warren: she is hooked into that righteous banking model.

But it really became jet propelled when Islam inventing Zero/0 as a useful symbol of accounting. And the only thing that has prevented this rigtheous banking system to take mankind to Space is everything connected with William F. Buckley's Sharon Statement of 1960 but creating the Tsusamie of the Rape of Congress on 7 January 2021.  

Remember Daniel, Chapter 7, where the Finger of God designates the Son of God. 7 very often is used as a lightening rod where the lightening from the Finger of God will enter into history as a Sign. So, Daniel 7:13 is the place where the Finger of God sets the process in motion to produce The Cross and Daniel 7:13 the Finger of God has touch America with divine intent and produce the Rape of Congress that can be traced from 1960 through Speaker Gingrich to Steve Bannon to 7 January 2021, God created a lightening rod to expose the working of Satan in the American body politic and that agency is Newt Gingrich. Trump just happened to be his marionnette.

Trump didn't become a crime boss until he won the election with intellectual property his Moscow partners in the 2013 Miss Universe Contest stole from the DNC and Clinton campaign by committing treason with a transnational crime consortium.. They've had him by the balls the whole time and Putin has nothing to do with it.

Now, the only question in my mind was how much coordination went on between Gingrich, Bannon and this transnation criminal consortius which is currently has America under seige with a Nory based cyber-attach trying to look like it's coming out of the Kremlin. This is the reason for the structural polarization Newty's political strategy creates, to overthrow Congress and the federal government.  I mean, if you've read Atlas Shrugged, she describes exactly what Newt Gingrich has been doing since he got into politics: Newty is the answer to "Who is John Galt".

Virutally all Libertarians have been useful idiots for this insurgency since they began attending YAF meetings and the C-PAC convention annually. It's like Comic-Con or a Trekkie or AmWay convention only focused on reinforcing the Virtue of Selfishness, Public Choice economics and narcissism the new righteousness. The basic Pro-Life Evangelical community family values.

All the Pro-Life Evangelical warriors who participated in the Rape of Congress pretty well define the right-wing useful idiot, while the people who Trump launched down Pennsylvania Avenue as a shot below the warterline of The Constitutional Ship of State, the basic cannon foder led by peoole being financed by the transnationa criminal constortium with Euro-dollar black mone being laundered through PayPal and Patreon.

How can you tell the difference between the cash flows of the Koch brothers to the Prouc Boy insurgency and Vory drug money?

You can't. That is one of the functions of Citizens United: it's all green. It goes into Meta Chruchs like First Presbyterian and, from my perspective, shouldn't be stopped. The fact is, we need to repartriate these black eurodollars to repair the damage done by the pandemic and whatever damage the Trump administration has done to the US Economy, which scares me in connection with the connection between John Galt and the potential collapse of American finances that was avoided in 2008.

And your coorespondent intuited the Finger of God in contemporary American politics by a using a narrative 2500 years old employing the numerology of the Bible. My biggest complaint about Christian apologetics is that it is just another version of the Marxist dialectic historic deconstruction that became the dominant paradigm in the 60s cultural wars (and continuing). History is a forensic science, like the practice of law, and in, Christian apologetics, history is superior to narrative/literature as a social construct.  And, as a literature major, that pisses me off.  Before history could congeal to abstract reconstruction, narrative IS. In the Beignning was the Word and history emerged from one of the ribs of the Word by way of narrative.

And before the Word was in the mind of God, Number IS. I Am that I Am: number the stars if you can.

And, again, Islam provides an essential validation of number in the mind of The One (as is presented in Revelation 4.2) in Sura 74:30 "And above it is 19" employing symbols I can employ to explain how number works as a figure of speach and a jewel in the fabric of Scripture. All that tapestry is lost in historical reconstruction because it doesn't seem to be evidence that can be defended in a court of law or a PhD defense.

But there it is. You have been praying all your life of a sign from God and now you have one: the Rape of Congress on 7 January 2021, as I write this 7 days and a wake-up from a constitutionally processed peaceful Change of Command.