#over the time i took to write this‚ the specifics of the quest progressively became less and less fresh in my mind

[contractbound]

more chen/yu vale thoughts, but specifically related to the main world quest series.

my thoughts unrelated to the questline can be found here

978 words

overall, i found the questline interesting, and a welcome addition to what we already knew. the echoes of an offering artifact set painted a compelling but incomplete picture. much of it was expanded on in the questline, along with other things being introduced, allowing for more clear understanding. unsurprisingly, i came out of the questline still harboring questions, but that can only be expected, so i'm not discontent. having this much to chew on is fine enough for me, for now.

one thing these quests established that felt like a breath of fresh air was how they blurred the line between "adep/tus" and "non-adep/tus". in particular, fu/jin's dialogue about how "no one is born an adep/tus, and no one stays an adep/tus forever" stood out to me. i imagine among mortals in-universe, the divide between adep/ti and non-adep/ti can seem clear-cut. some could consider it a divide between species, lifespans, ability, power, and knowledge — what is second nature to one party may be unfathomable to the other. so, i find moments like these interesting when gen/shin blurs the lines between us.

this is a little tangential, but specifically in the case of mortals, adep/ti have been adep/ti for their entire lifespan and more, so from their perspective, we may as well have been adep/ti forever. since the game follows the perspective of a new arrival to tey/vat as well, it's possible for players to develop a similar perspective. adep/ti were adep/ti long before the traveler had arrived, so we may give off the initial impression that we are eternal, and easily identified. there are a good few cases though, where gen/shin states the contrary.

in particular, hearing the perspectives of other adep/ti is invaluable to me, especially from someone like fu/jin. many of us tend to be proud, and at times imposing, but fu/jin isn't like that. she's modest, perhaps even to her detriment. she has the experience and the humbleness required to reflect on existence as an adep/tus in a more raw and honest way. if only she could have a little more confidence in herself and her abilities....

another individual that stood out to me particularly strongly was ling/yuan. it's nothing earth-shattering or profound; i just relate to her, to an extent. it hit close to home how she was more isolated, and couldn't understand the whims and tastes of mortals. there had been a few times where i too thought about what it might be like if everything "reset", so to speak, and humans no longer interfered with the environment. still, there was never any real desire or effort behind those thoughts; it was only idle musings. after all, the lives and desires of mortals were intertwined with mine for most of my life, whether or not i want to accept it.

still, i can also understand being stuck to one's ways. i can understand going about your life thinking certain behaviours are simply your nature, and you have no desire (or perhaps not even the ability) to go against it. it also resonated with me when she had to come to terms with the fact she'd gone against her "nature", and felt compelled to understand more. i hope to hear more of her perspective in the future.

a final thing that stood out to me particularly strongly was chen/yu vale's former god — fu/jin, ling/yuan, and herb/lord's former master. not much information was given, but it was enough to sound suspiciously familiar. how this "unnamed god" was described makes me wonder if she's the same god i served before mor/ax came along. i don't want to go into too much detail, but i'll write down the gist of my thoughts.

for one, fu/jin described this god as having "made many dreams come true". this is probably the single line that gives my suspicions the most substance. it sounds like something that would have been within my former lord's power and jurisdiction, considering they ate dreams in excess during the war. in tey/vat, "dream" is a word that holds a certain weight — i doubt such wording of fu/jin's dialogue was unintentional. there's also the matter of my personal connection to dreams within my canon, but i'll write about that another time.

another thing that sounded familiar to me was fu/jin describing the god as having "gone mad seeking the position of a god who may rule this world, or perhaps seeking survival". while as of now, i personally have no conclusive knowledge of the reasoning behind my former god's motives (and may never attain it), these sentiments fall in line with some possibilities i've thought of.

the morality of the ar/chon war isn't clear-cut. it's been established many times that bloodshed was the only option. whether i forgive or absolve my former god for what they've done is another story entirely, but we cannot assume certain gods are wholly good while others are wholly bad, especially not during a time like the ar/chon war. i had been considering for some time now if perhaps the prospect of power had driven them mad, or if they simply threw morality out the window just to survive. either way, it was affirming to see fu/jin describe my exact thoughts.

thinking back on their powers, and on their affinity for dreams, i've wondered for some time too whether or not their abilities had a more benevolent use. had their spent their whole reign mistreating their subjects, or was there a time where they treated humans' dreams kindly? could the ar/chon war have changed or corrupted them? if fu/jin and i truly do share the same former lord, i suppose my questions are answered. but until either the game's canon or my own memories confirm this, i can only continue to speculate.

regardless, i feel no sympathy for them. whether their temperament was innate or acquired, that doesn't change a thing.

[guardianofrivendell]

Hostage - part 2

Kíli x reader

Requested: Not really, but it’s based on this post

Warnings: angst that fit a hostage situation (minor injury, abuse), company trying to be Kíli’s wingmen (because we all know how awkward that is)

Summary: You’re a fierce little thing, too proud to ask for help and a bit too eager to prove your worth. So when you convince Thorin to let you go scouting instead of Fíli and Kíli while on the quest, it’s not a surprise things don’t go the way you planned…

A/N: Mahal, why do I hate myself so much? I’m good at writing funny fluff and bantering and all that stuff (at least, I’d like to think that), not action scenes! But here we are, I’m still not entirely happy with it but I have to post it because I’m going mad if I don’t :) 

Also this gif below is perfect for a specific part, you’ll remember when you get there! 

And please, please, please, let the tags work this time!!

Read part 1

He should never have let you go. Not on your own. 

Kíli paced through the makeshift campsite, worrying about you. It was well past sunrise and you still hadn’t returned.

There was a reason they scouted in pairs, him and his brother. Truth be told, it got them in trouble a few times because there were two of them, but still...

He should’ve gone with you. 

His brother kept an eye on him from where he was sitting, but let him be.

Why didn’t he go with you? Kíli groaned in frustration, repeating the question over and over. His hands went through his hair like they had so many times in the past hour. 

The others started gathering the supplies and their things, packing up to leave. When Kíli noticed this, he turned to his uncle. 

“We’re leaving?”

“Aye,” Thorin answered.

Kíli couldn’t believe what he’d heard. “We can’t leave!”

“Kíli,” Thorin warned. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Fíli getting to his feet, ready to interfere if he needed to. 

“But Y/N isn’t back yet!”

Kíli’s voice gets louder with each word, challenging his uncle. He couldn’t believe they were just going to abandon you like that! Thorin stood right in front of him with a few strides, his face inches from his.

“Don’t you think I haven’t noticed?” he hissed. 

Kíli was about to say something he’d probably regret later, until he noticed the concern in his uncle’s eyes. He tried to hide it, but it was there.

“We’ll find her,” Thorin promised, before he resumed his packing. 

Fíli placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You’re not the only one who is fond of her, brother,” he said. “Uncle feels responsible. He’s the one who sent her to scout in the first place.”

“Yes, but I should’ve gone-... Wait, what do you mean by that? I’m- I’m not…!” Kíli stuttered, trying to deny anything Fíli was implying, but horribly failing.

His brother just smiled at him, a playful twinkle in his eyes Kíli hadn’t seen in a while. 

The Company trudged through the forest, trying to follow your trail but finding it hard to do so. You were a good scout, so it seemed. They had more trouble tracking your movements than they had anticipated, making their progress rather slow. A lot slower than Kíli had wanted. 

He tried to calm himself by repeating over and over again that you knew how to fight, you knew how to defend yourself, you knew how to remain unseen.

You probably fell asleep in your hiding place or something, that was a very Y/N thing to do after all. 

After an hour and still no sign of you, the silence among them became deafening. Eyes and ears were peeled for any sign of their missing scout, each of the dwarves’ worry growing with every step they took.

Kíli constantly had to fight the urge to call out your name. He didn’t know if they were going in the right direction, and what if you went back to camp only to find them gone?

Brown leaves crunched beneath their steps, a branch broke with a dry crack when he stepped on it, making him flinch.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and when he looked behind him, Fíli squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. 

“Stop worrying nadadith, we’ll find her,” he whispered. Kíli nodded in return, but couldn’t shake the feeling that something was horribly wrong. (little brother, brother who is younger) 

Their surroundings had changed, seeming to match the looming thoughts in his mind. It was no longer the calm, inviting forest it was this morning, almost comforting with the bright colours and the typical woodsy smell.

Instead there were thin trees which clung to mossy rocks, the footing made slippery by the dampness underfoot. 

“There’s evidence of a struggle here,” Nori whispered, pointing towards the ground. “Orcs, most likely.”

They looked up at looming pieces of stone that seemed to have been piled by a careless giant, left as a testament to long-gone fun. The warm colours were gone, replaced with greys, dark greens and black. This whole place felt wrong. 

Kíli’s head shot up when the snapping of branches could be heard in the distance, immediately scanning his surroundings. The others followed his example.  

“Hide,” Thorin ordered.

They hid behind trees and rocks, waiting for what or whoever would emerge from the bushes. 

Kíli would be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed when two Orcs came out from the trees, he’d hoped to see you instead. Unharmed and happy to see him- them. Happy to see them; he shook his head, ignoring the questioning look his brother gave him.

He notched an arrow, ready to release it as soon as Thorin would give him the signal. But to his surprise Thorin signaled him to lower his bow, instead sending Bifur and Nori to take care of it.

The two of them had the Orcs thrown to the ground in seconds, ready to deliver the fatal blow, but before they could a different growl caught their attention.

The dwarves gasped at the sight that greeted them when they looked up.

Azog the Defiler stood on top of the piled rocks, his white warg at his side.

“What a lovely surprise….” he grinned.  

Thorin growled at him, his hand clenched tightly around Orchrist’s hilt.

They could easily defeat him, he thought, seeing as there were more of them. No matter how badly Thorin wanted to slice his head off his shoulders, something stopped him from giving the order to charge. The pale Orc was too confident for his liking, he was hiding something.

Azog smirked. “Lost someone? A female perhaps?”

The members of the company shared a look, if Azog knew you were on your own…

Thorin seemed to think the exact same thing.

“Not that we’re aware of,” he answered. 

Everyone could feel the tension rising, Nori and Bifur tightened their hold on the captured Orcs.

Azog raised his good hand and two other Orcs appeared next to him, holding something in between them. Or rather someone…

A few hushed curses could be heard among the company when they recognized their missing scout.

Thorin instinctively stepped forward when he saw it was you and Fíli and Dwalin had to grab Kíli to keep him from charging Azog by himself.

“So she doesn’t look familiar?” Azog taunted, smirking when he saw the reaction of the dwarves. He knew you were important to them, especially to the line of Durin according to their reaction and the prospect of hurting them through you made him feel triumphant. He was going to enjoy every minute of this. 

“Get your filthy hands off of her!” Kíli yelled angrily, fighting against his brother and Dwalin. They struggled to keep him in line, he threw all his weight into it, begging them to let him go.

Azog only laughed menacingly in return, his cackle echoing off the rocks.

The company had no choice but to watch how they dragged you to the edge of the stonewall.

Your hands and feet were bound with a thick rope and your clothes had fresh tears in them. You had suffered a head wound, a trail of dried blood sticking to your forehead and cheek. No matter how much it hurt Kíli to see you like this, he was relieved to see you were awake and well enough to try and fight the Orcs. 

“Y/N! Are you alright mimûna?”

“Does it LOOK like I’m alright to you?!” you yelled back, while you tried to fight the two Orcs who were holding you. 

Kíli sighed in relief. You being snappy meant you were in fact more than okay. Probably pissed off because you got caught, and that reminded him of something. 

“I hate to tell you this but… I TOLD YOU SO!” 

The others stared at him. Was this seriously the time to start teasing her?

It seemed like you were thinking the exact same thing.

“This is seriously not the time or place for this, Kíli!!” 

There was enough fire left in you and Kíli’s comment only fueled it, and you tried to push your weight against the Orc on your right in an attempt to wriggle free.

Their grip on your arms only tightened, and you gave up when they roughly forced you on your knees. 

“Enough!” Azog growled and slapped you across the cheek.

The dwarves growled in response, their hands hovering over their weapons, itching to do something.

You gasped for air after Azog’s assault, your head was pounding but you tried to push through the pain. You wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of your suffering. 

“The female in exchange for Thorin Oakenshield!” Azog snarled, and he gestured to you.

One of the orcs dragged your body to Azog, who in turn grabbed you by your neck and lifted you over the edge of the stonewall. 

“Tick tock,” Azog challenged, watching you struggle and fight for air.

“Uncle!” Kíli shouted in alarm. 

“What do you want us to do?” Fíli whisper-shouted at Thorin, waiting for instructions. He had a few ideas of his own, but he knew it wasn’t his call to make. 

Thorin looked at Azog, then at you. Azog’s grip on your neck tightened, cutting off almost all of your air supply. There wasn’t much time left...

The rock wall wasn’t easy to climb and he didn’t dare think about what Azog would do to you as soon as they would try. 

He was about to surrender himself, if only to buy more time, when he noticed something on Azog’s cheek. A fresh cut, unmistakingly your work.

He discreetly signaled in Iglishmêk to the others to get ready and to Kíli to ‘take the shot’. 

Kíli looked at him questioningly, not understanding why his uncle would let him take the lead in saving you. Surely Dwalin or Fíli would be a better choice?

“I see she put up quite the fight,” Thorin began, gesturing towards Azog’s face. “You’re getting slower!”

Kíli suddenly understood what his uncle had meant, he was trying to distract the Orc so he could have a clear shot! 

As soon as Azog’s attention shifted to Thorin, he grabbed his bow and notched an arrow in one fluent move.

He only needed a second to perfect his aim before he released the arrow, hitting Azog in the shoulder of his good arm, the one he was holding you with.

The Orc had to take a step back because of the impact and growled angrily, but it wasn’t enough. On the contrary, Azog only got angrier and his warg tried to bite your legs.

But Kíli wasn’t done yet, he already had a second arrow ready, he screamed Fíli’s name and let the arrow fly towards its goal.

Years of training together made sure Kíli didn’t have to specify what he wanted from his brother. Fíli understood immediately.

As soon as he heard his name, he grabbed the arm of the closest dwarf - which happened to be Bombur - and sprinted towards the rockwall. 

Kíli’s second arrow hit Azog in the right side of his neck.

That was enough to loosen his grip on you and collapse. You felt yourself plummeting to the ground, with no time to brace yourself for the impact, too scared to even think about screaming. 

Bombur and Fíli were just in time, leaping the last few metres so they could break your fall. 

In the meantime Nori and Bifur took quick care of disposing the Orcs they were holding, and Kíli had a third arrow ready.

But it wasn’t necessary, the Orcs who held you before were helping Azog on his warg and hurried out of sight. 

“Should we follow them?” Dwalin asked Thorin, Grasper and Keeper still in his hands.

Thorin shook his head. “We’ll get our chance soon enough, our day will come.”

Dwalin grumbled something about unfinished business but Thorin decided to ignore him. 

His eyes fell on his youngest nephew. He still stood frozen in the exact same spot, bow tense, arrow notched. But his eyes were no longer fixed on the top of the rockwall, where Azog and his spawns had disappeared a few moments ago, but a few metres lower. 

“Good work, Kíli,” he spoke, while he placed a hand on his shoulder, “I’m proud of you. You handled it well.”

In any other situation these words would be enough to make Kíli ecstatic, but now he barely gave any response. 

Thorin lowered Kíli’s arm and that seemed to break his trance. 

“It’s okay, you saved her,” he reassured him. “She’s alright.”

Kíli’s eyes flickered from his uncle’s face back towards the scene at the bottom of the rockwall. Fíli cut your ropes, while Bombur supported your torso. You were alive. You were okay. He saved you. 

“I did,” he realized. “I saved her...”

The arrow and his bow went back where they belonged, in the quiver and strapped to his back. He was itching to join you, to see with his own eyes that you were okay. 

Thorin smiled, knowing that look all too well.

“Go,” he said, and he nodded towards you, Bombur and Fíli.

Thorin didn’t have to tell him twice, and he hurried in your direction. 

He fell on his knees beside you, and looked at his brother.

“How is she?”

You swapped his arm. “I’m right here, you know,” you croaked with a hoarse voice. “And I’m fine!”

“Your voice!” he gasped, hands flying to your face in a reflex to cup your cheeks but he caught himself just in time. This wasn’t a dream of his, it was reality.

“It’s because she was strangled, it won’t last,” Fíli explained. 

Kíli growled.

It startled you for a second, not because you had never seen him so angry, but of what that low rumble did to you. You felt the heat rise in your cheeks. Perfect timing, Y/N, you groaned.

“Oín will take care of it,” his brother tried to reassure you both, misinterpreting your frustrated groan. 

“I’ll go and fetch him,” Bombur said before he got up and ran over to the other members of the company. 

Honestly, Kíli would never get used to the speed their corpulent companion could achieve with his tiny legs.

“I’m sorry…” you whispered, regaining his attention. You tried to get up, both Fíli and Kíli immediately got up to help you.

“What? Why?”

“I’m sorry I got caught,” you muttered softly, eyes focused on the ground.

Kíli pulled you in a big hug, squeezing all the air out of your lungs. 

“Of all the things to apologize for,” he laughed, squeezing just a little harder before he let go. “It was not like you did it on purpose, mimûna. At least, I hope you didn’t!” 

Oín and Thorin joined you, the seasoned healer wasted no time in checking you for any hidden injuries. 

“Let’s take a look, shall we lass?”

Oín prodded and poked at your body, mentally listing the wounds that needed immediate treatment and the ones that could wait until they set up camp that night. 

“So how did you find me?” you squeaked. 

“Lass, I strongly advise you to try and keep the talking to a minimum for a few days. Your voice and throat needs time to recover,” Oín reprimanded you, his gentle experienced hands softly pressing the skin on your throat and neck.  

“Ha!” Kíli laughed, “Impossible!”

“Kíli,” Thorin warned. 

“Glad to see you’re back to your normal self, nadadith,” Fíli teased him. 

You looked towards the youngest Durin, who suddenly thought the ground was extremely interesting. 

“What do you mean?” you asked him, ignoring Oín’s stern look. The healer had turned his attention to your head, trying to see if you needed stitches for your head wound. 

“He was beside himself with worry, this one,” Fíli smiled, ruffling Kíli’s hair. Kíli shoved him, but couldn’t help return the smile.

Oín reached a particularly sensitive spot on your head and you winced slightly.

Kíli’s eyes widened and a frown appeared. His hands instinctively flew towards you again before he kept them helplessly at his side.

“You were worried about me?” you croaked with a smile, trying to lighten the mood a little. You wanted to wipe that frown off his face and get rid of all the sudden serious tension. Just like the night before, you needed cheeky carefree Kíli. You desperately needed your Kíli.

His cheeks turned fiery red, and he anxiously rubbed his neck while trying to come up with an excuse. 

“We all were,” Thorin came to his rescue.

Kíli threw him a grateful look.

“But Kíli most of all,” he added with the slightest hint of a smile, before he went back to the others. Thorin didn’t think he could endure another day with the mutual pining, so if he had to give a little nudge… why not. 

“Is that true?”

“I- I mean… Yes-no, I was worried of course, but…” Kíli stammered, looking at his brother for help.

“He would’ve dragged Azog off the rockwall by himself if we’d let him,” Fíli mentioned. 

You looked towards Kíli, who was shooting daggers at his brother.

“That would’ve been very stupid, Kíli!”

“But still heroic, right?”

“Oh yes, of course, very heroic… and stupid!”

“Lass, your voice,” Oín tried again, but he was silenced by Kíli. 

“I still saved you, didn’t I?”

Oín and Fíli slowly retreated back to the company, leaving the two to their bantering. You didn’t have any life threatening injuries and you would be in good hands with Kíli for now. 

“They’ll sort it out themselves,” Fíli said knowingly. 

“Yes you did,” you said, your voice almost completely gone by now. “You saved me...”

Kíli placed his hands on your upper arms.

“That makes me the hero,” he stated. 

“My hero,” you corrected. His eyes widened. Was he hearing you correctly?

“Your hero?”

You nodded. 

“But you’ve never… I didn’t think- Oh now I’m actually relieved I was the one to save you!”

“Me too. Which reminds me, I still haven’t thanked you for being my hero.”

Kíli took a step closer, licking his lips.

“What did you have in mind?” The corner of his lip twitched before it turned into a smirk. 

“Well maybe we could-”

“Oh, for the love of Mahal, just kiss already! We have places to be!” Dwalin yelled.

Kíli laughed and brought his hands to your cheeks. 

“Let’s not disappoint our audience, shall we?” he grinned before he softly pressed his lips on yours, ignoring the cheers and hollering from the Company. 

His wingmen.

Kíli taglist: @elles-writing​

Permanent taglist: @roosliefje​ @kata1803​ @entishramblings​ @artsywaterlily​ @sleepy-daydream-in-a-rose​ @marvelschriss​ @kumqu4t​ @myrin1234​ @dark-angel-is-back​ @the-fandoms-georgie​

[certainempatheticturkeymuffin]

Age of Calamity Review

Hey! I wasted three hours of my life writing this in Arlo's comment section and part of it had to be cut out because of Youtube's word limit, so y'all get to suffer with me.

Here's the video that I wrote this on, give him some love, his opinion is a great juxtaposition to my own!

There are a few weird formatting errors because tumblr wants me to make new paragraphs, but there's no missing words as far as I can tell.

_

I like it, but I like the first one better, mainly for the appearance. I don't know why, but the pop ups are hard for me to see (by pop-ups I mean the challenges and weak point meters, the out of battle menu is actually pretty good, though I admit the text is a little small on the opening screen), and the lack of saturation makes it hard for me to see. Actually, that might be it, I just don't like the paler color palette in this context, since for a fast paced game I kind of need to be able to see, which I can't because I'm partially blind, and glasses have a glare that's an annoying trade off. Compare that to the original Hyrule Warriors, the weak point meters are brightly colored and change color the more you damage it, which is good for those with visual impairment who need some extra feedback to judge their next actions. The menu was also this aged tan color which provided a great contrast that wasn't the blinding white on top of dark blue, which wasn't bad at all, but the buttons and text were always big enough for those with visual impairment to see, though I will admit that the little pop ups with all the people crying out for help have a bit of the same issue as AoC. I think I just like the more vibrant colors of Hyrule Warriors in the context of a faster game, rather than the pale beauty of BotW, since my eyes can't really see what's going on if the colors aren't at least comparable to what you'd find in Minish Cap or Triforce Heroes. I can see fine in BotW during the day time, but at night, well, I just run and hope for the best, trying not to get killed by an electric keese, which is also a problem in AoC, mainly Zora's Domain; I could barely see a thing and it negatively impacted my experience.

I've got hundreds of hours in HW, and maybe five or ten in AoC. It's mainly because I just don't like how it looks. I've heard a lot of people say that it looks pretty much exactly like botw and...I have to disagree. A lot of areas are pretty perfect, but some, like the tower, are just a little off in a way I can't describe. That's a personal irrelevant nitpick though, but it negatively impacted my experience, so I thought it was worth a mention, the tower on the opening screen always annoyed the crap out of me, every time I see it I just want to exit the game because ew.

The gameplay is fine, and thank goodness for the addition of the meditation room, there's not a feature like that in the original, so I had to play the first stage over and over again to figure out new combos, I think Mipha is my favorite hero that I actually unlocked (though I've been wanting to play more just to see if I can control Revali and Teba like I can Fi (which makes her insanely good since her wide area of movement is the only thing you need to account for)), and I think Zelda is my least favorite, since she's a little clunky for my taste (Daruk is too, but his rolling makes that more bearable). I was a little disappointed with Impa, but her seal thing is kinda like Zelda's and Fi's thing in Hyrule Warriors (there are probably stronger connections, but I'm not experienced with every single hero), and I think it was just the hype that she got. She's not the type of character I like to play, since Zelda and Fi are my favorites, speedy and nimble area clearers (Sheik and Marin are cool too, I just have less experience using Marin, and Sheik is always a B pick since I find them a little harder to control with less area of impact), which meant that Mipha, a character I admittedly was never attached to, became one of my favorites in the game. Impa wasn't an area clearer for the most part, she had a few moves that could do that, but she was mainly a boss-killer to me, Mipha though? She's great, set up a few waterspouts and everything dies.

I do like that they've lessened the kind of ridiculous amount of items that were in HW, and that they didn't try to strong arm fairies in, because that system was the most annoying thing in the world and so poorly explained that I had to watch the same tutorial three times over about once a month because it was so convoluted.

I do hate the runes though, I just, couldn't seem to use them right. It might just be me, but I found trying to use them weird. It's a little hard to explain, but it's probably just a me thing. Not only that, but I found the inclusion of the rods on top of the runes annoying. The rods were entirely unnecessary if you were going to use runes. They just added another layer that was thin at best, not to mention that I found them hard to use as well. I hated the weird controls of the targeting system. I don't think there's anything wrong with a basic hack and slash, and if you're not going to have the excessive amount of items, runes were a good idea i think it might've been a me issue, but rods? It seems a bit excessive. It's probably just a "you'll get better with practice" kind of thing, which, fair, most people can't use Fi like I can, so that makes sense. I figured it was worth a mention anyway since the runes were a constant source of annoyance and I used the rods twice before never bothering again because I hated them so much.

I do like the addition of healing from food drops whenever you want though. In the original if there was a dropped heart but you were at full health, sucked to be you, going back for it when you need it would waste time. The plot is still as weird as ever though (from what I've heard from other videos and such), which is fine, since I tend to play my favorite levels over and over rather than actually do anything plot relevant (can you believe that it took me over a year to finish the story of HW because I kept getting distracted by letting Fi and Zelda mow down everything in the Adventure maps and challenges? I literally got the boomerang like six months after

getting the game. It's perfect for people with ADHD I swear) though I am extremely disappointed with the fact that they took the cheap way out, it's a kid's game and a nintendo game, what did I expect? For them to let everyone actually die? Nope...though honestly, I can't comment on the overall amazingness of the plot they went with because...er....I only did Mipha's and Daruk's stages before just losing interest, so I'm not the person you want to ask about any story criticism, because that would be pure conjecture and utterly pointless.

The customization of heroes, now that's great. It's a weird system that I needed to google a lot for, but it's absolutely brilliant and I love it. Sure, getting the specific seals I want is a little annoying, but it's a great mechanic and I love it.

I probably should've said this earlier, but I'm comparing it mainly to Hyrule Warriors rather than BotW because AoC's a Warriors game and thus plays more like Hyrule Warriors than BotW, and BotW has a different set of standards due to being an open-world game. I'm still salty about the plot though, so I guess there's your comparison.

Also, I absolutely ADORE the fact that you can track materials. Not having to google which stage gives me which material is just the best. And the fact that the side quests have little blurbs, absolutely fantastic. We didn't get that in HW, but then again, once you finished the main story, the rest was just, Have Fun and Kill Everything, which is great, and I love it, but adding in a weird ingredient fetching quest with a nugget of lore is kinda cool. I don't wish we got it in HW though, since, as aforementioned, there was no way to track which material came from which stage, so that would've made it a nightmare.

The Divine Beasts....I hated them, they were literally just time wasters, and, granted I only did Rudania and Ruta before dropping the game, I just hated them. The UI was horrendous and even Ganon's Fury was better, and I absolutely DESPISE Ganon's Fury. Once I finished them, I was just happy for them to be over and never bother with them again. I hated their controls, I hated the cramped paths, I hated how I couldn't really turn and see anything, and honestly, I commend the champions for being able to control these bulky slow and absolutely horrible machines.

On the music, I think it's good. I loved BotW's soundtrack, I loved Zelda 2's soundtrack, I loved Wind Waker's soundtrack, I loved Cadence of Hyrule's soundtrack, I loved Hyrule Warriors's soundtrack, I loved Minish Cap's soundtrack, Triforce Heroes, Spirit Tracks (you're lying if you say otherwise, this soundtrack is a bop and I will actually fight you), etc etc, and this one is no different, though I will admit it did a pretty good job of having me ignore it, though that may have been more due to my frustration at the rods and runes and Zelda and Daruk more than actually having an unimpressive soundtrack.

Personally, it didn't do much for me, I can't get over the color palette, the mechanics, the divine beasts. I had pretty average, maybe a bit high, expectations, but they weren't quite met. I played it for a few hours one day, dropped it, picked it up again a few months later, then remembered exactly why I dropped it. I think the original Hyrule Warriors is just better visually for me, even if the plot isn't great or it's a bit fanfictiony, it had depth in combat that didn't absolutely annoy me, and the annoying battles were usually optional, and the bosses had variety, which is a fault mainly of BotW and was just an inherited problem for AoC, and I'm not a completionist, I don't want to have to complete anything with Darunia or Cia, so I don't unless I have to to progress something, which means that I don't stress about the gargantuan amount of content in HW.

IN SUMMARY: I've never had problems with frame rate (though I play docked due to visual impairment), and if you're visually impaired, wear anti-glare glasses because the pale colors aren't going to help much. I haven't found an option to make text bigger. The soundtrack is good,

there isn't much boss variety (not AoC's fault, but it's still there), the meditation room is great, the runes take a bit of getting used to, as do the rods(i never got used to them), Divine Beasts tank performance in all aspects and are just disappointing, you actually know which stage drops which item, and there's no My Fairy (which is definitely a positive).

To slap on an arbitrary rating that only means something to me: 4.5/10

It's a good game if you can get passed the issues that bug ME to no end.

And there we have it. There goes....holy crap I spent three hours on

I wanted to like this, I really did, and I'm glad others enjoy it, but as it stands, I'll let y'all move on to Age of Calamity, and I'll stick to my handy dandy Hyrule Warriors ice cream with a dash of Breath of the Wild, a sprinkle of Cadence of Hyrule, and a Zelda 2 cherry on top. It's not like I have to wait long for Subnautica; hopefully that doesn't disappoint me too much, I preordered this one. Actually, I get Pokemon Snap today too, hopefully it isn't a SwSh level disappointment, AoC is magnitudes better than SwSh at a 4.5

this????? Three hours of my life. Gone.

[someplace-that-is-else]

“Shaking It Off...?’: Is the Magicians Surviving Post-Quentin in Season Five?

 Editor’s Note: Spoilers for the current season of The Magicians lie ahead. Read at your own risk.

 I still can’t listen to it.

 Every time I was at work, the radio loved to drop in Taylor Swift. I admit it. I love Taylor Swift. It was earned respect so I won’t knocked it. However, when I heard ‘Shake It Off,’ I changed the station. Why? Because I was reminded every time.

 The Magicians Episode 4, Season 1…Quentin Coldwater in the mind asylum. Him singing it. It was a turn left moment in a somewhat serious scene that was hilarious.

 But I was always reminded when I heard the song. Now…

 Quentin Coldwater was dead.

 In case you missed it, the fourth season of The Magicians went out with a bang. In order to save the world and his friends, Quentin Coldwater sacrificed himself. It was a heartbreaking moment and yes, there were tears at the gang’s tribute to him with a cover of ‘Take on Me.’ It was also shocking because who would have thought a show would kill off their main character, the character that viewers are brought into the show by. Even ballsier? Leaving the main character dead, confirmed immediately after the episode aired that night by way of internet interviews from the producers.

 That was the world viewers were coming into walking into Season Five.  Unlike Supergirl which I dropped in Season Four due to the on-the-nose political writing, I was curious to see how the writers would play the death of their main character.

 So how was it?

 Did Someone Order an Apocalypse?: Raising the Stakes in Season Five

 After a season where magic was rationed out, this season was different. Now there was too much magic. How much? So much that people were exploding for crying out loud.

 As a result, there were plot threads being introduced. You had Penny being made a professor at Brakebills and dealing with the presence of a signal that one of his Traveler students was hearing. You had Kady struggling with being the leader of the hedgewitches while being in the middle of a mystery involving the disappearance of a book depository. Most importantly, there was a Pig running around, encountering Julia and saying an apocalypse was coming.

 Hm…the end of everything. While the Magicians has had moments that were life and death, I do not think it has actually dealt with an apocalypse. It sounded so Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And it was during one of these moments of too much magic that the apocalypse was supposed to happen.

 And this was all in light of the fact that Quentin was only dead a month. Alice, Julia, and Elliot were the ones who were hit the hardest by his passing. Julia was Quentin’s best friend. Alice was Quentin’s girlfriend. Elliot was his woulda, coulda, shoulda. But as usual, the world as they knew it needed saving.

 And there were casualties on the way to the apocalypse. Penny lost his ability to control his Traveler abilities so much so that he could accidentally kill himself now. Dean Fogg was lost to a whole dimension in Kady’s pursuit of the book depository. In the gang’s attempt to stop the apocalypse, they succeeded. But there was a BUT.

 WRONG apocalypse.

 All that struggle. Encountering goddesses with agendas. The return of evil hedge witch Marina who was behind the depository mystery. Kady almost was killed by an assassin. Elliot and Margo got stuck in a time loop.

 It was all for the wrong apocalypse. You see the Pig was talking about a whole other apocalypse that was coming. One that appeared to be tied into another plot thread from last season involving Elliot and Margo being trapped at one point in the Narniasque land of Fillory 300 years in the future and its future ruler the Dark King.

 Oops.

 The Power of Three: Character Development in Season Five

 Magic comes from pain.

 Eliot said that to Quentin in the first season. Over the course of the seasons, that has truly held up quite well. Going into Season Five, there was still plenty of it. And that brought me to the character development for Julia, Alice, and Eliot specifically. Their pain. Their grief over Quentin’s death.

 I loved Julia’s Season Four arc. The ‘is she or isn’t she still a goddess?’ arc. She had been practically redeemed in Season Three. She had sacrificed her being on a higher plane for her friends. And where did she go from here? From here led to a new relationship with Penny, getting to get close with her best friend Quentin again, and have a chance to be a full goddess again. However, that was snatched away from her by the Monster and so was Quentin. She was human again with no magic…until her pain over Quentin’s death, bringing her magic back to the surface.

 And that miracle was what was driving Julia this season. She was determined to not have Quentin’s death be in vain. She was going to stop those apocalypses. She was so determined that it was revealing cracks in her relationship with Penny. In fact, they broke up…just in time to find out that Julia was pregnant. So would Julia keep focusing on stopping apocalypses to honor Quentin’s memory, or would she focus on herself and her future which may or may not include Penny?  Oh, the dilemma…

 And then we had Alice…

 Honestly, I haven’t liked Alice since Season 2. She was cute. She was brainy. She wore glasses. And Niffin experience, while a great plot twist for those of us who hadn’t read the books, really tainted her. And any sympathy she got for her pain was destroyed by betraying the gang by helping the Library at the end of Season Three. I enjoyed everyone giving her the business in Season Four. 

So I was saddened to see Quentin take her back. Especially with someone better hanging in the wings.  

That said…the pain that Alice felt for Quentin dying. The staying in her room. Her wearing his clothes. Her trying to resurrect him. That felt real. And for the first time, Alice felt like a person again. She felt like Alice. And as the current season has progressed, a new persona has taken over: old Alice. The last few episodes had brought back the brainy, the problem solving, and dare I say it the cute Alice from the early seasons. From the darkness, she had come back into the light.

 And finally, there was Eliot. Eliot spent the majority of Season Four possessed by an ancient Monster. A Monster who was on a mission to resurrect his even more dangerous sister. In the process of Eliot trying to find a way to contact Quentin, Margo, and the gang, it was revealed that there was a scene not revealed to the audience. Back during the Season 3, Episode 5 episode “A Day in the Life,” Quentin and Eliot were trapped in a time loop of sorts and lived a whole life together. Fell in love. Had a child together. Died. In the end, quick thinking brought them back. And it was over…right?

 Wrong.

 It turned out that Quentin and Eliot had had a talk. Proof of concept. Most people took a chance when they got into a relationship. Here they had a whole lifetime and saw they worked together. So…Quentin wanted to make it real. The debatably straight character wanted to give it a go…but Eliot pulled away. Being trapped in a Monster gave Eliot that push. The push he needed to get free and tell Quentin that he was ready to give it a go.

  So of course…Quentin died.

 And just like that…they became Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Tara and Willow. They became like The 100’s Clarke and Lexa. What did I mean? I meant that the ‘Bury Your Gays’ trope struck again. You know, the trope in literature and tv where two people of the same sex cannot be happy and if they found happiness it usually ended in tragedy. And the fact that Quentin got some form of closure with Alice in terms of their relationship while he did not with Eliot was quite the tragedy for fans.

 While I personally would have liked to see some closure for those two (called Queliot by their fans) due to the relatability of their situation (which happened more in real life than people thought), I was pleased to see that in the latest season that Eliot was definitely dealing with his unsolved feelings about Quentin. Not only did he find some closure to it, he even got to some closure with Alice as well since they had quite a bit to deal with between each other. Bonus, Eliot had been bantering with the Dark King, this season’s potential Big Bad who happened to be flirting with Eliot.

 A happy ending for our resident gay man? This is The Magicians. So…iffy. LOL!!! Especially after that reveal in Episode 9.  So time would tell how the relationship between Eliot and Sebastian the Dark King would resolve itself.

 Speaking of…

 Pieces of a Puzzle: Using Plot Threads that Work Well in Season Five

 While a lot of the seasonal plot arc had to do with the gang dealing with apocalypses, there was also the arc having to do with the Dark King who usurped Margo’s rule of Fillory. Fans got to meet him in a clever introduction during Alice’s and Eliot’s quest to give closure to Quentin. Thus, the tension between Sebastian the Dark King and Eliot began.

 In another blog I did ( https://someplace-that-is-else.tumblr.com/post/183733192088/well-fuck-how-i-fell-into-syfys-the ), I mentioned that protagonists were only as good as their antagonists. The more complex the antagonist, the better. And if the Dark King was to be the main villain this season, the writers did him right. On one hand, there was the burgeoning relationship between him and Eliot and the fact that Fillory worshipped him for his ability to push back the invading Takers. On the other hand, it was revealed HE was behind the Takers being in Fillory in the first place and was immortal to being killed. Add on to that the reveal in Episode 9:  Sebastian was one of the Chatwin siblings, brother to the Beast…

...still the best villain in this series. His goal:  to resurrect his lost love. Given the gang was dealing with the aftermath of Quentin’s death, how could they not relate? How could we? Things were more murky.

 Meanwhile, there was the mystery of the signal. As mentioned earlier, the increase in magic meant there were a lot of new traveler magicians coming into their abilities with no one to guide/teach them. Enter Penny the only Traveler alive to tell the tale. At first Penny was reluctant, but he attempted to. That was how he met Plum, one of his students who was hearing the mysterious signal. In the process of hearing the signal, Penny lost his abilities. And to add on to the mystery…Plum...

... was ALSO a Chatwin. Whom daughter…Jane, the Beast aka Martin or Sebastian…remained to be seem.

 And then there were two.

 Finally, there was the world seed. I had greatly enjoyed seeing Alice morph back into her brainy persona that I remembered from the first two seasons. At the same time, she had started a bantering friendship with another magician who was some expert in possibilities. And from some notes left around by Quentin, Alice and this student had been creating a world seed. The belief…that it could create a whole new world. Leave it to Quentin to be gone, but NOT forgotten.

 How that would come into play with Plum, the Dark King’s plans, and the Fillory apocalypse was too early to know. It was recently announced by the SyFy Channel that they had cancelled The Magicians. Insert eyeroll here given my colorful history with SyFy. However, the producers of The Magicians have always mentioned that they wanted to adapted the last book in the series The Magicians’s Land for one of their seasons. And all signs of what I knew to happen in the book revealed this current season was loosely based on that book (in the book Quentin was still alive for example). So it would be interesting to see how it all ended for everyone.

 With a bang…or a whimper?

  #themagicians #syfychannel #syfy #whoorderedanapocalypse #buffythevampireslayer #buffyreference #glory #seasonfive #taylorswift #quentincoldwater #shakeitoff #aha #takeonme #apocalypse #supergirl #raisingthestakes #plotthreads #characterdevelopment #grief #queliot #writing #narnia #darkking #magic #buryyourgays #powerofthree #puzzlepieces #signal #seed #withabang #withawhimper

[ask-de-writer]

DARING DO and THE GRYPHON’S QUEST! : MLP Fan Fiction : Part 17 of 19

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to MLP Fan Fiction

DARING DO

and

THE GRYPHON’S QUEST!

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

and

Carmen Pondiego

Cover art by Aranel the Cyborg, now  Wind the Mama Cat

29584 words

© 2020 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 03/29/16

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

This is a Fan Fiction based on My Little Pony.  Canterlot, Princess Luna and the name Daring Do are owned by Hasboro Inc.

//////////////

Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions, provided that such things are done without charge.  I will allow those who do commission art works to charge for their images.  

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fictions is actively encouraged.

///////////////////////

Chapter 17. The Coward’s Weapon!

Daring Do was pleasantly surprised at just how good her half brother Blendin was at specimen preparation.  There was another surprise for her too.

Friend spent much of her time crooning to her Eagle eggs.  She did frequently leave her nest and lend her green magic to the task, usually greatly simplifying the work.  It was the greatest assistance at particularly difficult or delicate times in the preparation of the failed nymphs that she had loved so dearly and watched over for so many centuries.

Almost any time that they took a break from the arduous task before them, Friend would leave the eggs and nest protected by a nearly invisible glow of green magic.  She would take a place beside Daring Do and purr/croon softly.  Daring Do found real rest and comfort in the love that Friend shared with her.  She often rested her head against the changeling’s horn and shared thought and memory.

It was from that sharing that she learned something surprising about Friend. When her hive was attacked by war equipped and battle ready unicorns, Friend defended the hive’s precious eggs.  

She slaughtered ten of the enemy, literally tearing them to pieces in the defense of those eggs.  When her shared hive mind felt the Queen die, she went briefly berserk.  Four of the ten attacking unicorns that she killed fell in those few moments.

It was duty and love for the eggs that she tended that brought her back to something resembling sanity.  Taking all of the eggs that she could carry, she fled into the night.

The world outside of the hive was a strange and confusing place at first.  By luck alone, she found a long disused road that led to the mountains.  She did the best that she could but it was not enough.  One by one, she felt the spark of returned love die out of each of the eggs.  Her heart was torn asunder by the loss.

Daring Do knew the rest of the story.  What she did not know was the sheer depth of feeling that Friend had developed for her.  She meant it when she said that Daring Do was Matunen,  Hive Queen, in the ancient tongue of Early Middle Equestrian.

Friend was totally contented for the first time in ages.  That in no way interfered with any whit of her egg tending.

Blendin saw his half sister’s serene relaxation around Friend and was glad. The Apprentice Librarian of the Great Library in him was glad too.  He was learning things about conservation of irreplaceable delicate artifacts and relics that would apply to his work in the Great Library.  

Once everything was ready, he stared at the results of their work in wonder.  He had not only helped to prepare the whole foundation for the creation of an entire intelligent species, he had it and all of his half sister’s notes cataloged for the Great Library!

Together, they sent a note of their progress to the Empress.

The door, upon opening, showed the Empress, Grata, and Hisst, the Right Wing of the Imperial Throne.  The hallway was blocked by heavily armed Imperial Guards in full battle armor.

Daring Do was about to ask if such precautions were necessary when a loud, harsh voice from up the hallway demanded, “This is all Blasphemous!  Even if it were the truth and showed our  ancient roots, it would still be blasphemy!  The Holy Legends declare that Faith alone is sufficient and seeking truth beyond its holy pages undermines Faith!

“Whatever is here must be destroyed!”

The Empress responded, “What is about to be destroyed is YOU, Krapper!  You have fifteen seconds to be around the curve and out of OUR sight before I order my troops to open fire!”

“You would not dare!”

“Nine seconds left, Krapper.”

There was a clatter of claws on stone as the speaker retreated!

The Empress drew a deep breath, her crest showing disgust.  “The entire lot of First Creation Idiots want to destroy the only real history that our kind has.”

Friend spoke up, “Your Majesty, they are wrong.  This I/we know.  Before I/we loved the eggs that became the nymphs of your kind, I/we saw changelings.  I/we saw unicorns.  I/we saw Eagles. I/we saw pegassi.

“I/we helped matunen Daring Do and brother Blendin to be sure that these failed nymphs truly show how I/we loved the eggs that became the nymphs that are your kind.”

The Empress, crest showing deep thought, began tracing the development of her kind.  She was reading the placards set by each step of the way. Looking over to the true mother of her whole species, she asked, “Why did you go from pony to big cat for our hindquarters?”

Friend crowded over to point as she spoke.  “Not all big cat.  See how these bones go?  That is from the pegassus.  The head was carnivore, Eagle. The hindquarters had to eat meat too or fail.  I/we did see a lion in mountains once, close enough to feel its insides by loving it.  I/we used what I/we knew.”

Grata, crest rippling in laughter, exclaimed, “We are so lucky that she didn’t see a bear!”

After the fit of laughter passed around the room, the Empress asked, “How will this all be presented, Doctor Do?”

Daring Do sketched rapidly.  “The case, to be portable must be of stout woodwork.  The front viewing window should be made of glass that has been spell strengthened like a Magic Net mirror.”

The Empress nodded, crest showing some concern.  “You mentioned not risking the real relics and that is a good idea.  

“We have General Iron Hooves here with some of his munitions experts.  The team that they are consulting with is known to you, though we know that you do not like them much.

“V.I.L.E. Is here.  They have sent Carmen Pondiego, Baron Von Nighthoof, Marehem Skadefryd, and Kiros Asbhy.  I understand that they have also got a number of Agents here too.”

Crest smiling, the Empress went on, “I was warned to be sure that I still have both mandibles of my beak after dealing with them.  However, they will be absolutely honest with family.

“They have several missions.  One is being worked on now with General Ironhooves and his aides.  Another is to be the agency for creating your cases and making the copies for display.  I will be ordering twenty sets.”

Daring Do, looking doubtful, did agree, “I have to admit that when it comes to museum quality duplication, Mom’s company is unexcelled.”  

An all too familiar voice caroled from the doorway, “So sweet to hear you actually say something nice about my company!  Of course we are honest!  V.I.L.E. has never been caught or proved to be guilty of ANY crime at all!

“Suspicions?  Poof!  Suspicion and a cup of tea will get you anything from a nice Bergamont to bag of Lupton’s Worst!

Carmen Pondiego strutted into the room in her trademark porkpie hat and fire engine red dress.  She called over her shoulder, “General, Dear, would you please come in and see for yourself what my daughter found that is causing all this mess?”

General Ironhooves entered the door.  He was in his simple field uniform.

He tipped his Campaign Hat to the Empress and her Wings.  He approached the study tables, examining the relics with care.  He picked up Daring Do’s voluminous field notes and sketches, seeming to leaf through them, except that once in a while he stopped long enough to separate pages that stuck together.

He put down the books and turned to the Empress.  “Ma'am, you have chosen your battlefield perfectly. Better, you have the enemy in the sights of your artillery.

“I hope that it does not come to armed conflict, but if it does, after consulting with Carmen here, I think that you will have a LOT of surprises for them!”

Daring Do managed to look skeptical.  “Only them?”

Before Carmen could snark back, Marehem wandered in, right past the security detail.  He grinned.  “Helps to be a misfortune changel …”

His eyes bugged out.  It was the first time that Daring Do could remember that her uncle Marehem was caught totally off guard!

“An Egg-tender, HERE?  How did that happen?  How can she live without a hive?”

Friend looked up from serenely turning the eggs in the nest.  She smiled as she said, “Matunen Daring Do.”

Uncle M stopped like he’d hit a brick wall headfirst.  “Adora, Matunen?  A queen?”

The Empress nodded, crest rippling amusement.  “It hit us like that too, when we realized that Friend is OVER two thousand years old.  She was the sole survivor of a destroyed hive.

“Tending eggs kept her sane.  She is the Mother who loved an unstable and fatal hybridization into becoming our strong race.  I gather that for her, loving means something other than a simple feeling.”

Marehem got it together to say, “It sure does.  The eggs a queen lays are sort of neutral.  They will develop as random kinds of changelings.  Give them to an Egg-tender and tell her how many of which sort, worker, other egg-tenders, drones, even a queen, and that is what you will get. Their love is a very complex magic that no other kind can do.”

Daring Do, eyes twinkling, suggested, “Make the order for V.I.L.E. twenty one copies.  We will donate one to the Nightmare Wars Collection of the Royal Museum!”

General Ironhooves grinned hugely.  “You really want to shaft those First Creationists, don’t you?”

Daring Do simply said, “Yes.  They defile and deny the history that I have devoted my life to.”

Carmen pointed to the work tables and said, “Will you take a real compliment from your mother, Adora?  This, notes, restorations, preparation and all is a fantastic piece of work.

V.I.L.E. will duplicate it with the greatest of care.  With your permission, we will keep a copy for our own private museum.”

Mutely, Daring Do nodded.

She saw Uncle M talking to a Magic Net mirror and turning it to show everything.

Carmen pointed to an especially fragile relic and said, “Be especially careful of this one, Baron.”

One by one, the laboriously prepared relics, notes and all quietly vanished. General Ironhooves simply noted, “Handy trick, that!”

Daring Do, Friend, with her nest, and Blendin were brought to a large suite with an open airy feeling.  One Gryphon port was open enough for the Eagles to get in and out but not Gryphons.  The rooms were swarmed with Eagles.

Friend immediately shared that soft green magic of hers to include all of the waiting Eagles.  The way that they crowded close about the nest, it was clear that they had been waiting for Friend’s loving magic.  Several shuffled aside and one reached out a beak and snagged Daring Do’s tunic, making her join or get a torn tunic.  She joined the Eagles in luxuriating in the literal glow of Friend’s shared love.

After a few days of resting up, Rahak came by.  Crest at attention, he requested, “Doctor Do, master Blendin, would you come please?  The display copies are ready for examination.”

They followed the Wing Commander back down to the workroom.  There were twenty one large cases of fine solid woodwork, each faced by stout glass armored by a spell to the toughness of steel.  The contents were beautifully displayed to make the whole progression from hippogriff to Gryphon utterly clear.  Each item of the display had its explanatory placard.

Neatly done on each placard was an exact copy of a reference to the actual original Legend Document, with translation. After that part was a clear, simple note explaining the item.

Central to the whole display was Daring Do’s detailed sketch of the remains of the failed nymphs in place, as they were found.

The whole thing had such an impact that Daring Do’s breath drew in, in a way that she had heard so many times as a child riding her mother’s back in a knapsack, when her mother saw some beautiful thing that she was about to steal.

Turning to an equally awestruck Blendin, Daring Do said, “Tell Carmen that this is the best display preparation that I have ever seen.”

“Thank you, dear,” said a familiar voice.  A khaki colored unicorn mare in a form fitting fire engine red dress stepped out of the shadows.  Daring Do was shocked to see bags under her eyes.

Carmen Pondiego told her, “The General is sleeping now.  I have been working along with every agent that I have available.  I cannot tell you what we have been doing.  Imperial Security is involved.  I only hope that it has been enough to prevent the war.”

Rahak suggested, “Let us all prepare for this evening’s banquet.  That is when you will make your presentation, Doctor Do.”

Daring Do was looking around the Imperial Banquet Hall, at the many war banners that fluttered in the light breeze.  There were also the banners of the provinces of the Empire.  The wood and stonework was outstanding for its solidity and rich carving.

Perched on every place that they could find claw room were hundreds of Eagles, looking expectantly at Friend. Her nest had been placed conveniently close to Daring Do’s place.

The dining tables were all set so that every diner could see the big glass fronted case with its display. There were two  small books by each place.

One was a copy of the original document of the Legends, written some time shortly before 54 Post Nightmare Wars.  It had an exact copy of the document itself, a line by line literal translation and a third line in modern Gryphon with notes to explain the meaning of idioms used when the original was written.  No commentaries.  No editing.  Only a foreword explaining that this was a true copy of the Legends that they all revered and tried to follow.  Commentaries were dispensed with in the hope that the reader could understand what the words said and form their own opinions based on solid fact.

It was signed and sealed by the Empress herself.

The other small book contained copies of Daring Do’s expedition notes and sketches that were relevant to the display showing the origin of their species.

The First Created believers started to scream, “Blasphemy!”

The Empress herself cut them off.  “Silence, Krapper!  These are the Legends that you CLAIM to revere!”

“You have left out the rich and ancient commentaries!”

Her crest rippling with laughter, the Empress exclaimed, “Ancient? Krapper, the FIRST commentary was inserted into a small book like this only thirty five years ago!  It had a note that it WAS NOT HOLY WRIT, only opinion.  That note was removed and further commentaries added. More than half of the mass of your book has been added in just the last five years!

“It must be wonderful to be able to write up whatever you please, insert it into the next edition of your book and have it called HOLY WRIT!”

“Our Book is the true Law!  Holy Word is higher than mere secular law!”

“NO, Krapper!  That is direct sedition!  Guards!  Stand behind Krapper!  If he utters one more word of sedition, cut his wing tendons at once.  He will be given the LONG DROP at sunrise for the crime.”

The Empress paused for effect and added, “Now, we have a banquet laid before us.  Let not Krapper’s ill manners spoil your appetite.  After we have eaten, we will hear from Doctor Daring Do, whose actual facts, well documented and proven may provide you with much food for thought.”

The server placed a plate in front of Daring Do, commenting, “I hope that we got it to your taste.  It is a sauced alfalfa steak.  We don’t eat such fare, so we are not much used to cooking it.”

Daring Do replied with a smile, “I am sure that it will be fine.  You have been doing well the last few days.”

She cut a bite and began to chew.  Numbness spread from her mouth.  She gasped and could draw no air.  Her vision was fading slowly.

She heard, “The Blasphemer has been struck down!  Any means to strike at blasphemy is honorable, the Holy Writ is clear!”

The voice of the Empress cried, “Poison is the Coward’s Weapon!  Seize them!  Do not wait for the Long Drop!  Kill them now!”

The voice of Friend cut across the fading din, “No!  Matunen still has love.  I/we need them!  They will wish for your long drop!  I/we promise …”

Then no sight.  No sound.  No touch.  No taste.  Nothing …

<==PREVIOUS   NEXT==>

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[kyemeruthie]

Self-love

Not much work to do inside the office, so after sweeping PJO in a week, Umbrella Academy the next, we did 3 movies this time. Wow. Bad employee. Tsk. Still reviewing them here. Hahaha

Booksmart (2019) : 5/5 stars

Olivia Wilde’s coming-of-age film would definitely be a classic with cult following. News says that Booksmart did not hit much attention from moviegoers, partly because it was released during weekends near John Wick 3, Aladdin, and all the other storied movie franchises. Sad. Anyway, I love this film. I was just laughing the whole time. It’s a beautiful story of friendship and getting to know yourself and the people around you, of asserting your independence, and of the best memories to remember later on. Molly and Amy are best friends, straight-A students, ready to graduate and proceed to Ivy League universities. But when they learned that their seemingly lazy, jock classmates would go to the best schools too, one of them employed by Google, they start to question their life choices. Molly mostly, Amy’s quite cool but still anxious about a lot of things. Anyway, they decide to spend the night partying with Nick and his gang before they graduate the next day-- ready to prove everyone that they also have cool social lives. The rest is funny and revelatory ride towards their graduation day.

We can all relate to Booksmart’s plot one way or another. I personally see myself as a mix of Molly and Amy -- less obnoxious but tries to be as outgoing as Molly, more introverted and willing to explore the world like Amy. And then some of my friends from the mix of students featured in the film. But what’s more beautiful and intelligent about the film is that the stereotypical HS kids we know cannot be placed in neat boxes as we want them to be. People can be both skaters and scholars too; girls with more provocative personalities and more assertive of their sexuality are also intelligent; jocks read books too; the quiet ones can be loud too. Theater kids would always be theater kids, but with a different kind of drama every now and then. Haha. Breakfast Club, the epitome of HS drama in the 90s gave us five general classification of HS people-- and this movie breaks that. Actually, I remembered High School Musical trilogy also spoke the same message-- people can be whoever they want. They can both play basketball and bake, dance and sing, etc. Booksmart brings the same message across, but also with greater emphasis on what women can do and become: that they shouldn’t be pitted against each other, shouldn’t be labelled sluts when they’re more progressive about the way they dress and approach their sexuality, and that they can helm a movie as awesome as this one.   

***

Dumplin (2018) 4/5 stars

Another film topbilled by women. This time it tackles body and fat shaming, confidence building, and the role of pageants in “empowering” women. Dumplin is based on a book of the same title written by Julie Murphy. I’ve always wanted to read this but Fullybooked may have ran out of paperback copies. I still have to find one. Haha. 

Dumplin tells the story of WIllowdean “Will” Dickson, a self-proclaimed fat girl. Her mom calls her “Dumplin,” which she naturally detests because it reminds her of her physical differences from her mom, who was a former beauty queen. The story then revolves around Will’s quest to prove that fat girls have what it takes to join beauty pageants often reserved for the skinny, tall, and feminine: basically, the conventional definition of beautiful. Other girls join Will’s quest, and soon she finds herself leading an unlikely revolution.

What I like about the movie: the premise of the story, strong acting from the lead and supporting cast, the whole message of the film, and I never thought I’d appreciate Dolly Parton songs. I read reviews and it seems Netflix commissioned all-original DP songs specifically for this film. Wow. Oh, and Bo Larson and his cleft chin. He’s too beautiful. I’m crushing on him because of this movie. Areas where it can improve on? Script basically. It’s full of motherhood statements and quotes from DP songs, but I think we can do more about that. The concept of body shaming needs to be fleshed out further to help audiences understand its consequences. WIll is ok with her body, but there wasn’t much discussion on her issues with her mother relative to her being fat, or how this has changed pageantry. The way I see it, having 2 fat girls and a rocker join the pageant became more of a novelty than an outright rejection of the whole conventional beauty imposed by pageants. Or maybe I’m expecting too much. I just feel that if we take on a serious subject and try to use humor as a means to comfortably discuss it; then we should fully use the platform to flesh out important issues that need to be addressed or understood by a larger audience. That way, we took every means possible to get our advocacy across; instead of half-heartedly putting them forward.

***

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018) : 5/5 stars

Our last film for review. Helmed by a female lead and based on a YA romance novel written by Jenny Han. I purposefully did not read the book; maybe because that time I felt it would be too cheesy for my taste. The film wasn’t, so maybe I’d give the book a chance. Hahaha.

In the film, Lara Jean writes secret love letters to guys who made an impact on her lovelife, places them on addressed envelopes, then tucks them in a box hidden in her closet. She’s introverted, having trouble fitting in with most groups, but enjoys the company of her sisters and is generally happy with her student life. It takes a sudden turn when the letters suddenly were delivered to their owners-- Josh, her sister’s boyfriend and her bestfriend; Peter, the guy she kissed during middle school; another from model UN; Lucas, whom she danced with during freshman year and admits to being gay; and another former crush. This puts LJ in a twist, particularly on Josh. The story moves along Lara Jean’s decisions to get over the mess she’s in and return to being invisible.

It’s a classic romcom, lines are witty, the whole story is funny and good. It doesn’t end up contrived and too cheesy; just the right amount of cute. Recommended if you’d want to watch something that’ll not push you to think too much. I like that it balanced the story between Lara Jean’s guy problems, and her overall relationship with her family. It also put into perspective that no matter how embarassing things would turn out to be, the best way out would always be confronting them head on. Family are good sidekicks; but also trustworthy friends; and a healthy dose of courage and self-confidence. Lastly, Asia represent!

***

If you’re looking for something to watch over the weekend, you can watch these. Great also for Independence Day, because you know, they celebrate women’s independence and empowerment in different ways. Haha. Enjoy!

[storytimewithwolf-blog]

Notes from a first time DM

Hi! I’ve been a DM for a year now, and here’s some things that I learned during the whole process!

When you’ve been appointed with this status (Divine Master, Dungeon Master, ect.) it’s important to remember that the people you’re DMing for want an adventure. It’s your job as the DM to determine if the people you’re with want a serious adventure, or a silly adventure.

If it’s a serious one, there’s really no harm in putting in a few silly points, and vice versa with a silly campaign. What’s important is the flow of the campaign, and all the connecting dots.

As a published writer with a degree in this stuff, it’s also important to note that just because you yourself don’t have a writing degree, or have been published or something, doesn’t mean that you don’t have the chops to be a DM. You need to remember that D&D is suppose to be fun—if you’re not having fun, then something’s wrong. Evaluate what’s wrong, albeit party members, story, or just overall gameplay and adjust when necessary.

If you’re having problems with party members, take a moment and assess the situation. Are the players not getting how to play? Are the players being jerks to everyone else? Are the players not wanting to cooperate with each other? There are a lot of things to take into consideration.

If the players aren’t getting how to play (first time players, new edition, ect.) take some time to go over the game mechanics with them. I had two first-time players in my large group and had to sit down with them and explain how things went. The rest of the group also helped in them understanding how to make checks, role play, and just general game play.

However, once they knew how to play (with some questions here and there), they weren’t active in the game. At first, I thought this was a problem on my end. Am I not doing something right? Why aren’t they more active in playing the game? I asked a DM group on facebook this question because I genuinely believed it was my fault that something was wrong—like I wasn’t adhering to their needs. Turns out, (after a few mean comments too) that it was more ‘some people play D&D differently’. I realized that just because they weren’t role playing like everyone else didn’t mean that they were a problem—it meant that they were doing what was most comfortable to them. Essentially, as Matt Coville put it, they were ‘audeince members’—meaning that they wanted to play, but they wanted to watch more than anything. I hadn’t experienced people like that before, and that’s okay!

If you have a player that’s being a jerk to everyone (either in game ‘because that’s what my character would do’, or in real life), take them aside. I had to talk to a player of mine because, since he’d played D&D in the past and knew how to do everything, he thought that he needed to dictate what others did. Just because you’ve played before doesn’t mean that you can have wide-access to the whole party/picture. If your player’s character is being a jerk (and they give you that ‘it’s my character excuse’) again, take them aside. Regardless of whether these problems are happening in-game or not, it doesn’t give that person a right to make the game miserable for everyone else. Weigh the pros and cons. Don’t be afraid to tell them to leave. If they can’t behave, then don’t tolerate it. I have zero fucks to give if you’re doing this to others.

Are your players not working well together? This one’s harder—I’ve only had this happen a few times, and generally it’s mostly just because some people want other things, and that they don’t work well with others. It’s really dependent on the people—when I brought my group together, I felt that they would get along pretty well—there were some bumps along the way, people had to learn to tolerate each other, but otherwise the game’s been going alright. In this situation, it really depends on the people, and what’s happening in game. I made several situations early on that depended on everyone working together to get through and progress the story. They HAD to work together. The end goal was fairly easy to get to. The situation called for everyone to do X and then they’d get to Y. Sometimes, people need to know what they need to do in order to do it right.

But is it the story that’s being a problem? I really like the fact that Wizards of the Coast makes pre-set campaigns. But homebrew’s a bit different. And a story can really make or break a homebrew. I’m no expert, but really polishing a story is everything. Even if the idea starts off as a turd—polish that thing until it shines. I’ll have story ideas stored away for years, waiting until something makes sense or is just better than when it originated in my head. The one thing that I’ve found that really sets stories apart is the pacing, and for D&D, I’ve found that a steady pace is fine. But with what I’ve done, I’ve given my players certain story markers—points of emphasis that make them want to get to the next one. Oh, you guys are in the Witch’s Burn? Figure out what happened. Oh, you’ve figured out what’s happened? Good for you! Now go where you need to go, get there, and something else’ll happen!

This isn’t always the way—sometimes my pacing really depends on how fast my players get through things. But pacing is definitely important. You can’t have every session be amazing—that’s too demanding on you (DM), and too high of expectations for the players to have of you. Slow sessions are required for them to want to get to the big events.

If you’ve found that your story is the problem, ask your players what they think could be better, write down what you think could be improved, and work from there. It’s okay to take a week (or whatever time needed) to get your story straight and take a session or two off.

It’s also essential to read-up or at least respond quickly with improv. Sometimes (most of the fucking time) my players will do something I didn’t anticipate, and I’ll have to act out a scene for them. This isn’t always bad—improv is what got my players started on their first main quest.

When we first started, everything was standard fair-- they (for the most part) met in a small town and rallied together to fight off some bandits. Once they had united themselves, the real adventure started. I created a somewhat long-term NPC that helped me determine what kind of characters my players had chosen to be, and got them going on some standard stuff. The NPC is my sweet birb son aarakocra cleric who was one of those guys who’s optimistic about everything and is genuinely very nice. Once they interacted with Crae, I got to understanding my player’s characters more and devised situations around their characters, whether it was something to their backstory or just to see how they would respond. What I didn’t expect was that they took a simple story hook and decided to run with it.

They had come to a simple fisherman’s village, saw a small sea serpent thrashing about and went into action. When one of them went into the water they saw a silver casket and decided to push the heavy thing to shore, killed the serpent and determined that the casket was the thing that had made the serpent go nuts. THEN. Two of them decided ‘oh, let me put my blood on this thing.’ like idiots. (especially considering one of them was a VAMPIRE). Nothing happened. The next day they left and as they were about an hour away they heard a loud explosion, looked back, saw a big plume of smoke that raced across the sky, took the shape of a corpse’s face (very Mummy-esq) and screamed at them as it headed elsewhere. They decided, ‘oh, time to chase after smoke-face’.

Now, I should’ve expected that they chase after the smoke-face, but for whatever reason I didn’t. It then became a game of, create backstory from improv. Which actually worked out for the better. (I may write up a post later explaining all of their shenanigans).

In this case, smoke-face was the villain (haha maybe), along with several other people that worked for him, and their main quest became to rescue a goddess that had gone missing.

All of this is homebrew. The only thing that I used as influence was the story hook of the ‘ornate silver casket’ that they dredged up out of the ocean. This came from a pdf called ‘50 rumors and hooks’ specifically for D&D use, everything else concerning the major story came from myself. Smaller bits, like a cape that had a treasure map stitched into the inside, or the funny ‘sword of emotions’ are things that I’ve used in passing. Use those little hooks and things that you find online, and make them your own.

Now, I take very brief notes in my notebook when writing out certain things (I prefer to write them because I’ll remember them easier than if I type it out). For major and minor cities, I’ll write out the name of the place, important places like inns, brothels, and such, the names of the place, who runs the place, their name, sex and race, and how much the place costs. I’ll write out other shops as well, and typically make a short list of the items and such that they can buy (or use one of those nifty random generators). The townhall, the law-master, and if there’s any jobs in the area, how much gold can be made, and write out either what the jobs needs, and set a DC if it needs one. If the job involves an encounter, I’ll write out briefly what it is, weapons, spells, creature/enemy AC, and any kind of special actions that they can do.

From there I’ll briefly write out plot points, and as you’ll see, most of what I do is based on improv. By this time I’ve memorized the characters that I’m playing and go into actor-mode and can make decisions based on their personalities, the situation, and whatever else. I’ve also memorized the setting and story so there’s not much that I have to look up. Typically, everything I need is in short-hand.

However, for major plot points, I’ll write things out (hopefully chronologically, if not I’ll put numbers by what needs to happen first and go from 1-10). Then, if a situation requires certain dialogue (like, you’ve got something really FUCKING COOL, that really noice line that just makes a situation), I’ll write it down. Now, for these major points, a lot of them essentially act as cut-scenes unless otherwise stated. I imagine that some people and players probably don’t like this, but that’s how I run my game, and so far my players like it.

What I also do, because I’m a dramatic bitch, is that I use music in my games. I like Sword Coast Soundscapes for their background ambience, and Peter Gundry for a lot of basic music needs. I have several different playlists I use, and they all run between an hour and three hours. I have music laid out before hand. Now, if it’s a major plot point, either for the story or a single player, I’ll look at my itunes and figure out what songs would be appropriate for the situation and have them laying in waiting. This has helped me enhance the feeling of certain plot point to the point where it just feels nice to have something playing in the background. It also feels more important if I use certain music for scenes and gives my players the notion that what’s happening is important.

For encounters, as I stated earlier, I have basic outlines. If it’s an encounter that’s simple like some bandits, I don’t go into too much detail—write out their HP, AC, weapons, stats, spells, and anything else if necessary, like treasure (if applicable). If it’s a big boss monster, I’ll add other things that the creature/enemy can do, (like legendary actions, or lair actions), and generally their HP will be pretty up there. (the Furnace Elk actually was at 350 HP in the end).

I also have a smaller notebook that has basics in, like the schools of magic and what they do. Just to remind me of either game rules, basics, or my own homebrew that I sometimes forget.

In terms of your homebrew, there’s a lot to consider: What’s the political status? Are we at war? Peace? Why are we in war/peace? Who’s the enemy/ally? Who’s the royal family? Does your country have a royal family? What does your country value most? What are the most common races? What does the land look like? Is it Medieval Europe-esq, or it is more like the early Middle East? Is there a pantheon of gods and goddesses? Are they original or from the book? What’s the military look like? What’s the relationship with the rest of the world (if any)? Is there discrimination? Is the country mostly poor? Certain landmarks?

What I do, is I write out a brief summary of what my continent has been through recently, and then go from there. I describe the different kingdoms, what they value (knowledge, power, ect.), what the royal family is like, their brief history, royal crests, military, most common races, and any big points. For instance, the kingdom of Thelinde was tried for war crimes against another continent because they wanted the resources and did anything they could to get them. When one of their allies found out, that kingdom backed out, essentially costing Thelinde the war. Connect kingdoms and see if their actions either for or against make anything significant happen. Embargoes, treaties, trade-agreements—does any of this happen? Currently or in the past?

Now, I use a lot of resources. Like that pdf I mentioned earlier, I have files printed for political situations, how short-term vs. long-term madness works, lingering injury sheets, road encounter generator, city activities, trinket generators, tarot cheat-sheet, language scripts—fuck I even made a calendar.

Oh, but what about the players? Funny you should ask! Within the first month of playing the game, while everyone was figuring things out, I asked everyone for a few things: tell me 2 truths, 2 lies, and 1 half-truth/lie about your character. These’ll be used later in game whenever they get to certain situations. I.E. they encounter family, friends, enemies, or just ordinary townsfolk who happen to know who that person is. It’s fun to create a certain kind of discord and if person A is referred to in a not nice way, the rest of the characters have to make a judgement about person A—is that the truth? Is it a lie? Why would that peasant say that? Should we ask? It ends up making certain people either seem better or worse than everyone’s expectations and realities.

I also require basic backstories. Some of my players went WELL over what they needed to do, and it put me in an unusual spot—they said this about their backstory, and that this happens, and so the future looks like this.

I really don’t like that, your players shouldn’t give you anything about how their want future events to be—but at the same time, I can change it up a bit—still give them what they want, but in a way they didn’t expect. That can’t be said for all situations, but for a few I’ve made it work. But again, no future stuff. They can have hopes and aspirations—but don’t give me anything that would already make me think of an end for your character. That’s no fun if you already know what’s up.

And the lies/truths is something that helps create events for the characters. One character was discharged from the military for a severe injury, but she doesn’t remember a thing. The only thing she really knows is that her entire platoon was killed except for her, their captain. So if she returns to her hometown, or the military hospital she was in, people will probably not be very kind to her, knowing their she may be the one responsible for their child’s death.

Players not knowing what’s going to happen is wonderful. It puts, as a friend of mine would say ‘The fear of God’ in their bones. Either this thing that’s happening is really good, really bad, or really cool. I’ll ask everyone but a certain player to leave the room to do a one-on-one scene (with music generally), and draw out an event that I’ve had planned. These usually don’t last longer than 20 minutes, and probably shouldn’t go on any longer than that.

For instance, the same character who was discharged from the military doesn’t realize that the arm she can no longer feel, will eventually try and strangle her in her sleep, and that she doesn’t belong in the world she’s in. And if she can survive her own body trying to kill her, then maybe she can figure out what these clues she’s been given are.

NPC’s? They can be really fun, and can even be the center point to a whole quest! Crae, who I mentioned earlier, became a favorite of my players because he was such a good good boy. And when he left everyone was very sad because he’d become so memorable, and because he’d saved their skins a few times too. Also he had an interesting backstory that really, only one of my players found out. Things are still happening to him across the world, and my players may just have to get on a boat and help him—otherwise a civil war may just find him.

But for now, take the character Lorna. She’s a courtesan, who is drop-dead gorgeous, a wonderful singer and dancer, and has a way with sex. She’s fully in control of herself and became pivotal to the main quest. She was the one my players needed to rescue—they just didn’t know it! And frankly, neither did she. All they knew was that they picked up a traveller and then things happened, and my players realized the gravity of the situation: keep Lorna safe or something terrible will happen. Get the help of the trickster god Bremin, get her to Point A, have an old flame/enemy show up, kidnap her, rescue her from said douche, get her to Point B, tell her a few things that she doesn’t know/realize, and then get her to Point C. In the end, Lorna’s become more reserved, which is something I didn’t expect, and she may not like where her new life will lead. But keeping her safe, and keeping her from destroying people is what my players agreed to do.

I am by no means an expert on D&D—the first experience I had with it was with a small group of friends and we only played around four games. After that there was a big dry spell, during that time I became very depressed, even suicidal. Everything around me was bad, and the only thing that really kept me going was my dog. Suddenly, I found a podcast called ‘The Adventure Zone,’ and started to listen. Almost instantly, my mood became better, I talked more often to friends, and made new ones. Then I found ‘Critical Role’, and listened to them, and love them!

What’s really important, and maybe what my point here is, is that little things like playing a game can be a big game changer—last year a friend of mine said that I’d be a really good DM, and mostly because he had already been a DM and just wanted to play. I gathered a group, and created a one-shot (which actually had to go on for two sessions), and after that, I created and played out my first campaign. D&D really helped me get out of a big depression, I still have bouts and I know I’ll never fully be cured of depression, but D&D has literally saved my life. It’s little things like that that make things okay again.

[vgperson]

What Did I Translate in 2018?

[aleesblog]

How Real Doctors Think

  Review of Mentored by a Madman: The William Burroughs Experiment.1

Denis M. Donovan, MD, FAPS

Canadian Bulletin of Medical History

Volume 35; Issue: 2, 2018, pp. 455-459. DOI: 10.3138/cbmh.BR_EN

“In his welcome address,” Andrew Lees writes of the beginning of his medical studies at London Hospital Medical College in October of 1965, “the Dean informed us that we were here to study medicine and that from now on our lives would be dedicated to the prevention, cure or alleviation of human disease. Medicine,” the Dean stressed, “was a calling, not a business.” There but for the grace of Fate go I was the Dean’s message. Indeed, Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto — I am human, nothing human is foreign to me — was the teaching hospital’s motto. But almost overnight Lees witnessed in many of his fellow medical students an extremely disturbing and worrisome transformation as they became a-lien-ated —the link between doctors and patients, between self and other, was broken — as if patients were them, mere subhuman collections of body parts, carriers of disease and mundane opportunities for uppercase ‘D’ Doctors to demonstrate their brilliance and celebrate their superiority. Although Lees says that Wolynski, the man whose body he and his fellow anatomy lab partners dissected, helped him “to acquire the carapace of insensitivity required to become a doctor,” the self- protective “carapace” Lees acquired was not the gross dehumanizing insensitivity he found so painful in the “self-satisfied and narrow-minded” attitude and behavior developing in many of his fellow students and the often frank sadism of some of his superiors.

It was in this context of patient suffering and medical insensitivity, prejudice and condescension that Lees experienced two kairotic, intensely formative moments. The first was a poignant and inspiring encounter with a patient during Lees’ first house physician appointment at what is now the Chelsea and Westminster Hospital. This patient suffered — I use the word advisedly — from Parkinson’s disease and was confined to a wheelchair and completely dependent on his family to be fed, dressed and bathed. This former worker from the London Underground viewed Parkinson’s as a death sentence and was pinning all his hopes on the new miracle drug L- DOPA which he had read about in the newspapers. The results Lees’ patient obtained literally within days “turned [Lees] into a ‘Molecule Man’ overnight” and convinced him that “further peptide and amine research would lead to cures for Parkinson’s disease and all the other brutal brain degenerations within five years.” No such overnight progress was made but that didn’t slow Lees down in the least.

The second crucial experience which ultimately gave hope to the first was Lee’s discovery of an unknown face on the front cover of the Beatles’ Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely hearts Club Band album. “Amidst the rows of famous faces he was on the second row next to Marilyn Monroe and above Oscar Wilde. I didn’t recognise him so I looked him up”

Lees’ discovery of William S. Burroughs, the author of Naked Lunch and The Yagé Letters, while still in medical school provided him with the adult version of an imaginary friend, one on a lifelong quest to find a cure for certain mind-and-body destroying drugs. Beneath Burroughs’ “lurid descriptions of heroin-laced depravity, sodomy and infanticide in Naked Lunch [which] had been described by a Boston judge as ‘a revolting miasma of unrelieved perversion,’” and especially in Burroughs’ Yagé Letters to Allen Ginsburg, Lees found a kindred soul, a razor-sharp critic of imperious insensitive and dehumanizing doctoring, whose now-famous character in Naked Lunch Dr. Benway was both a medical beast and one of many voices of a caring visionary on a quest to cure his own junk addiction. While Burroughs’ life was one gigantic series of relapses, he did find genuine momentary relief for his morphine addiction in the apomorphine treatment provided by the London doctor Joseph Yerbury Dent in 1956, the potential significance of which Lees immediately recognized when he read Burroughs’ account. In a 2014 article in the Dublin Review of Books Lees briefly described the episode which is recounted at length in Mentored by a Madman.

Burroughs later wrote enthusiastically in Naked Lunch about Dent’s integrity and empathy and his innovative drug rehabilitation programme:

The vaccine that can relegate the junk virus to a land-locked past is in existence. This vaccine is the Apomorphine treatment discovered by an English doctor ... I found this vaccine at the end of the junk line ... suddenly my habit began to jump and jump. Forty, sixty grains a day. And it still was not enough. And I could not pay ... The doctor explained to me that apomorphine acts on the back brain to regulate the metabolism and normalize the blood stream in such a way that the enzyme system of addiction is destroyed over a period of four or five days ... I saw the apomorphine treatment really work.

Apomorphine took away the biological need for morphine without inducing dependence. It steadied the system, leaving no trace. In Burroughs’s words it was like a dutiful policeman that did its job and then left. Soon after Burroughs’s treatment programme was completed, Dent’s hunch that apomorphine had specific chemical actions in the brain was scientifically confirmed, but it never took hold as a routine treatment for addiction. Crucially for neurologists, it was shown to act on the brain by opening the dopamine receptor lock, which meant that Parkinson’s patients could use more of their own dopamine for longer. My hope was that in time apomorphine would become part of the clinical armoury against Parkinson’s symptoms.2

Burroughs unknowingly reminded the young Andrew Lees that humans did not begin curing their ailments by synthesizing new molecules and profiting from synthetically produced old ones; they began by discovering them as they occurred naturally in the physical world. This simple fact is all but forgotten today. Like Mickey Mouse in Disney’s version of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, contemporary medicine has become so fascinated by its ability to tinker with the world of medicinal molecules—and now the human genome—that it has lost sight of the fact that our knowledge of naturally occurring physical therapeutics is still in its infancy, a veritable gold mine of potential discovery since poison and cure often exist side by side in nature. Nature may not have ceased to be a generous teacher but, unfortunately, our self-absorption has made us far less willing and curious pupils.

But Burroughs wasn’t Lees’ only inspiration and model. He was immensely fortunate, when he began his neurology training at University College Hospital in London, to have two great living teachers, William Gooddy and Gerald Stern, and one great dead one, William Gowers, whose brilliantly detailed clinical journals Lees read avidly in the hospital’s archives. Gooddy and

2

Stern, Lees writes, “would never interrupt [the patient’s recounting of his presenting complaint] but when the history had been given they would clarify points with a few carefully chosen, nonleading questions.” In stark contrast, today’s physician typically interrupts the patient a mere 18 seconds into his or her initial narrative which the patient may never be able to complete. Few patients today have ever experienced a William Gooddy, a Gerald Stern or an Andrew Lees and thus have no realistic idea of how caring, attentive and genuinely interested good doctoring can be. “Perfection of this methodological and time-consuming approach is essential to becoming a good neurologist,” Lees adds, “and I spent many hours on the wards and in the outpatient clinic trying to hone my skills.” Contrast this with the unquestioning expectation of a 22-year-old medical student in a “cutting edge” Leadership Program at the University of South Florida who doesn’t hesitate to say that he “... would like to be a leader of a team setting ... part of a department, leading other doctors and teaching them everything I have learned.”3

Today in his seventies, Lees is a Professor of Neurology at the National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery, Queen Square, London and University College London. He is one of the world’s top experts on Parkinson’s disease and a teacher and researcher venerated for his masterful observational and clinical reasoning skills. Even so, Lees is acutely aware of how little he knows, how much is yet to be learned and how much greater the obstacles are today to realistic naturalistic learning than when he began his medical and neurological training. And as for self- experimentation, which Lees kept secret for nearly his entire medical career, few today within or outside clinical, academic and research medicine, are even aware of how crucial it was to the understanding and innovative progress of the great medical discoverers such as Sir William Osler, the father of North American internal medicine and the originator of bedside teaching.

It is a great irony, but not unusual in the case of genuinely curious, creative and innovative thinkers, that the pupil proves to be far more skeptical than the teacher. It is to Lees’ great credit that he was able to distill from a complex and contradictory life of largely credulous self- indulgence Burroughs’ genuinely brilliant, caring and realistic thoughts, insights and commitment to a quest for a cure for crippling addiction. Most people throw the baby out with the dirty bathwater. Andrew Lees pulled the baby out of the mire and, throughout a lifetime of patient, sensitive and committed physicianly care and constant technical scientific research, has never ceased to do his best in the face of all obstacles to relieve human suffering and to leave the world of medicine and healthcare richer than he found it.

Yes, do read this book to discover how William S. Burroughs inspired a professional lifetime of brilliant medical research. But read it as well, perhaps even more so, to be reminded of what genuine medical care can and should be and what the obstacles to its survival are in a world increasingly defined by insatiable corporate greed and vacuous self-satisfied professionalism.

For those who were tempted to believe Jerome Groopman’s assertion that doctors can’t think because they’re the helpless victims of inescapable cognitive biases and need their patients to think for them, here’s your antidote.4 No technical knowledge is required to profit from this marvelous book.

1 Andrew J. Lees, Mentored by a Madman: The William Burroughs Experiment. (Devon, UK: Notting Hill Editions, 2016).

2 Andrew J. Lees, “Hanging out with the molecules.” Dublin Review of Books (1 September 2014). http://www.drb.ie/essays/hanging-out-with-the-molecules (accessed 7 November 2018).

3 Letitia Stein, “USF joins national effort to reform doctor training.” (Tampa Bay Times, Saturday, August 4: 1A, 7A).

4 Jerome Groopman, How Doctors Think. (New York: Houghton Mifflin, 2007).

[theorynexus]

The Validity of Art!Caliborn

[S]After a great deal of contemplation, I have come to understand why we were wrong when predicting that the Caliborn we were watching-- the one which produced Homosuck and which focused so heavily upon art --was a Caliborn that would not become Lord English. This is because we did not realize certain very important things about Lord English, and the session that Caliborn went into as well.    Firstly, we must realize that Caliborn himself did not take up art only after his sister was gone. He drew his first art piece to show his appreciation of Dirk, while Calliope was still alive, and thus his hobby could not have stemmed from his loneliness and desire to fill the void that Calliope’s removal left in him.   The artwork that came about was crude and almost incapable of expressing what he was saying it was.   However, this did represent an inner draw toward the Space aspect which would remain with him throughout the rest of his life, and into his existence as Lord English.       All players have a connection to their opposite aspect. It is a healthy part of a player’s progression to experiment and try to understand it, which is necessary to their proper expression of their Classpect role.   However, we believed that Caliborn was going too far with his exploration of Space, and that this meant that he was likely out of tune with his Lord of Time title.      We believed this falsely. From the moment Caliborn arrived in the Incipisphere, he was left on the same planet:      A place where he had an endless supply of free time on his hands and a wide expanse of barren space to deal with.    He had no apparent quest, and the only way he might find one was the expenditure-- wasting --of his time in search for some sort of hidden order to the white noise of that empty world.    In SBURB, every player’s planet begins in a plagued condition, generally caused by the denizen.   In this case, it is arguably the reverse:  The planet was already in this state when it got pulled into the black hole. Game Objects were already on Earth, and the Earth was already a dead Land.      Because Yaldabaoth did nothing, the plague of the Earth is this: An over-abundance to both Time and Space, neither of which are mastered.   They are chaotic, and without meaning, unless someone interferes and takes the reins of one to tame the other. Thus, before even meeting his Denizen and being sent on the Path of the Conqueror, Caliborn’s quest was clear: Use his command of time to conquer the space laid out before him.    It was the same after that Choice, as well. You see, Caliborn was made to Play a Game with Yaldabaoth. A game where if he lost, the price would be his life.  He was like one of the captives in the Saw franchise, and had even removed one of his own limbs to get to the point where he could become one. However, he did so willingly, and would later be able to challenge the great lion-headed ‘god’ for the title of King of Death Games.   But before that, he  had to play a game. A game of billiards. One thing that one must realize about the game of billiards in order to understand why this is so important is that it is all about geometry. Specifically, it deals with the use of vector geometry and impact angles to produce precise amounts of force and precise angles of attack which are necessary in order to bring a ball into a pocket.    Generally, time has nothing to do with this game, save that time is necessary to see the balls go in motion and make movement to the pocket possible. It was nearly the same case with the planetary version of the game.     Time only mattered for two reasons: It was the tool Caliborn would use to deliver the force: his time manipulating leprechauns allowed him to deliver the force necessary to launch each planet out of its stable position; secondly, Yaldabaoth imposed a time limit for each world, artificially increasing the pressure on Caliborn with each success, and thus forcing him to learn or die.    And he WOULD learn!    Specifically, he would learn to use time manipulations as a tool to effect a mastery of space.              The irony of all of this is that his session was specifically designed to push him toward the embrace of Space as a Lord of Time.      After all, what would Doctor Who be like if it only featured events from Earth’s speculative history?       A proper time lord must be an adept in the usage and traversal of both Space AND Time.      This is the reason he is able to travel through the great chaos in which live the HorrorTerrors.  It is a place of time contingent on ever-changing factors in fluid space. However, a powerful, calculating mind (or someone with incredible luck) can traverse it freely, with careful plotting of their course. So, having been taught to embrace Space as a Lord of Time, which was indeed necessary for his survival, and therefore not something which he would hold with any distaste anymore, Caliborn is left with two things two do: Prepare himself in whatever way he can, and then confront Yaldabaoth, the Demiurge.    In order to prepare himself, Caliborn does not seem to have created much in the way of items, but instead returns unlock all the secrets which were kept from him for lack of keys, earlier on in his game session (as any good gamer might, before facing the final boss).   What does he discover behind these locks? More encouragement to hone his artistic skills now that he has a greater grasp of Space and its concepts (in the form of the How to Draw Manga book), and an indication that he would be taking over the role of a major figure who had the role of creating the world in which he lives.        In essence, this is encouragement to not just DEFEAT Yaldabaoth, but to predominate over it and absorb its nature into his own, as he had not his sister. He had another giant snake monster as a replacement for the nonexistent snake monster that would have been a replacement for his missing sister if he had predominated properly  (the screwy Freudian logic of Cherub mating cycles is screwy). Anyway, to be clear:   After defeating Yaldabaoth, Caliborn would go on to do more than simply producing a Homosuck story that made crude representations of the Homestuck characters going on a nonsense quest which may represent the final showdown in [S] Collide.    He would take up the role of the Demiurge, and would be responsible for the creation of countless corrupted universes throughout Paradox Space.    Lord English would have ages to develop his mind, refine his arts, and slowly, carefully manipulate the timelines of everything in existence to produce the Alpha: The path toward his own creation, and therefore his victory-- the shattering of reality, the birth and death of the Green Sun.    Though it took Forever, and required all his concentration and willpower, that old man with a peg leg was able to descend the stairs he built for himself without falling to the side or losing his foothold on reality.    Thus, he was able to burst forth upon the omniversal stage and begin playing his zealous part in the destructive End. In the end, I hope I have made this theory retrospective post clear.  In another attempt at writing this (which was lost because the page refreshed for no reason, and I could not copy the text, which may have been longer than this version), I had explained the extreme similarities between Caliborn and Yaldabaoth in much more detail.    For example: Yaldabaoth creates in the material world images which are reflections of the spiritual ideas which exist in the heavenly realms, but which cannot actually embody them fully, because physical reality itself in gnostic belief takes away part of the essence of higher things.      It is the same with Caliborn.   He draws to represent ideas he has in his head, but something is always lost. His drawing of a circle is a round shape composed entirely of straight lines.   We see that the lines certainly evoke the idea of a circle well enough.   In fact, it seems near perfectly round. However, this is simply an illusion. It is not a real circle which is produced. However, in this version I chose to focus much more on the space and art links to this issue, which I think lay a bit closer to the heart of things. The simple truth is that Caliborn was always meant to be an artist. He was shown producing art almost immediately after we first see text from him. As a consequence of his lonely existence, the fact that making art seemed to give him a way to interact with the world and show off his role as the usurping narrator, and finally because he was encouraged to embrace Space in general, it was only natural for the Caliborn that became Lord English to embrace artistic creation, which flows naturally from the Space Aspect, and which was a perfect stepping stone to the manipulation of the world which would become integral to his future existence. If anything, a Caliborn which completely rejected art would be the doomed timeline alternative version.   Yet that is what we believed Lord English must have been, since it seemed there were building inconsistencies between the Caliborn that made his Masterpiece and what must have actually happened to lead up to Lord English’s birth.

We made a mistake.  Somehow, the Cherubs’ viewing capabilities and chat functions were linked over the retcon to the world on the other side of it, it seems, and all those mountains of evidence which seemed to point to Art!Caliborn’s differentiation from the one who would become Lord English were close to Red Herrings. (He is apparently the king of them, after all)      We made this mistake because we forgot that Lord English was not just a power-mad monster seeking to destroy all reality, but was also a being whose will shaped the world to suit his desires and to confirm his own existence.  He is in a very true sense, meant to be the Demiurge of the world in which all the Homestuck characters live, even if Hussie or his Self-Insert wrote most of it, and LE didn’t invent The Game.     If you look up the meaning of the Greek word, “Demiourgos,” you will find that it does not only refer to the vile creator of the material world in gnostic lore, but that in its most basic sense, its meaning was this:  “an artisan.”

[studyablog-japan]

A Reflective Summary of My Language Growth

Journal logs of language growth

Sept-October

At first, I thought my language skills were basic tourist level. I was able to ask how to get places, and went to the koban if I had questions. This proved to be useful my first night and the first few days. I found out my reading skills though were lacking, as kanji was a weak suit of mine. This month was more about finding my level than anything else. When I took my tests at the college and discovered I was mostly level 3, I was shocked, as the person who I considered the smartest of all the Japanese classes got into a level below me. It was strange, but kind of eye opening to me. I also was able to understand that I have a long way to go with particles. Japanese particles have many specific rules, and some of the things I had learned before seemed off, like for instance, the usage of “を” to indicate a starting or passing point. This was one of the first lessons we covered in my Grammar class, and was completely new to me.

Outside, during trips, I was able to gain a little more confidence however, in basic things, such as how to pay for bills or how to sign off on paperwork. I had troubles with my school check, so going through Western Union for money from my father was…very interesting to say the least. Luckily, they had a sheet that was able to help with information transfer, as far as filling out paperwork. This also helped with maps as well. My first few trips to the mini city within the whole of Tokyo, Tachikawa, was filled with mystery. The trains station maps were hard to navigate as I was unsure what a choume was, or which way a map was pointing. Learning how to read better for this helped me know my way around better.

November

This was when my homesickness was starting to hit, with birthdays and all. But my school visit I was able to do was very fun, getting to speak Japanese with grade schoolers. I realized that I still have a very low proficiency, but they did have a student who could speak English, so if my dictionary was unable to provide a word or phrase that I couldn’t understand, she was able to help.

I also was reinvigorated by being able to talk about American politics in Japanese, through my conversation course. Through this I was able to gain a bit more confidence in my speaking skills, which I was not confident in the least. During floor parties, I was always so focused on listening rather than speaking, so that way I could get used to verbal patterns and try to make sense. This made for tough communication with my RA, as I was not able to speak Japanese very well and he was unable to speak English very well either. Looking back, I would have been better being more proactive in my quest for speaking and building relationships in my dorm.

Outings were about 50/50 of me having a good idea of what to do and being lost. I figured out that gakuen, meant school, even if that school was not the college, as I became hopelessly lost and had to ask a very kind obaa-san for help. But as well, my language skills were getting better for purchasing goods as well. Finding brands and types of things that were essential, such as my obsession with watercolors, leading me to research types of paint names.

Overall I felt like I was growing in a sense, but I still had a long way to go.

December

School communication was exceedingly important. Midterms were few, but also had a lot of importance to them. I remember being in Kanji and just some of the kanji were really difficult. I believe we also had a midterm for grammar, and I remember getting it back and being disappointed, but knowing that I still needed work. mostly again, on particles. I really wish I had my particle guide with me during this time, or the ability to find one. But I was quite swamped for December.

The big part of this experience for language learning was through experience. I was able to talk about my country some in Japanese, and realized that translations were a lot more complex. I did tarot for a middle school to show them about Halloween, and the card translations were hard to put out there as complex words in english might have different meaning in Japanese, so I needed a teacher to help with this. However, after this getting to go out to eat was a very wonderful experience, with going to a traditional style restaurant, and trying to figure out what is what. I got to learn better about the ordering system for food, which is very nice.

During this time I also went to a drinking party with my professor and his students. I was able to talk much more than the last time, which surprised him as I was very withdrawn the first time we met. One large thing I discovered though is the ability to ask about landmarks and sizing. I went in to do kimono, and we had to figure out what could fit. As well, being able to read the charms we bought at Sensouji was very interesting. I was able to get some for my friends too, as it was for academic success. We still got lost though, and the difference in names of shops was very alarming. Still, it was a lot of fun, and I realized that I grew somewhat since I had arrived.

January

A strange time for learning. The focus in grammar turned to politeness forms, which I knew well in America, while in comprehensive we focused on graphing and interpretation. I remember being proud because I figured out the formula and my teacher complimented my skill with the area. I felt like I had come a long way. In writing I felt very frustrated though. We were writing about more complex issues, and this translated into more errors in translation as I didn’t have the skillset to talk about the educational issues I wanted to press about. Things like bullying, diversification, tailored learning were all very difficult. Listening though was a class I never felt different about. The teachers style was something that didn’t sit right with me, even if she was a wonderful and kind teacher. Being able to communicate effectively with my teachers in Japanese though was a real boost for my confidence, as I asked for some time off for a trip.

During this time, I wasn’t able to make real leaps and bounds as focusing on studying a reviewing took its toll.

February

With the close of the semester brought about a realization, that while I have grown, I have a long way to go. After a mishap with my wallet being stolen, I had to conduct business with the police, with immigration, with my bank, and with my insurance which was from city hall. I had to ask for help a lot. Government labels had me very confused on where to go and what to bring. As such, I had a hard time with some of the vocabulary. It was very frustrating, as I thought I had made a lot of progress. And I had, just not to the extent that I could deal with filing all of this on my own. However, with help from my Residential Director, my school, and the police, I was able to file everything fine. Intermediate proficiency plateau’s are very difficult to handle, especially in a situation as complex as this. I had more confidence in my speaking afterwards, including talking a bit more formally and asking for help when I needed it.

March

School’s still off at this time. However, my friends and I had a trip to Osaka that helped me learn more about my proficiency growth. Having to rely on your own language skills to get around in a new area is very invigorating. I remember all of us were very excited at the thought of a bath, so we went to LUSH, and we legitimately held a conversation with three of the store clerks. I remember feeling very proud at the fact we held conversations on our own with these ladies who didn’t speak English at all. Being able to rely on my own skills was very uplifting.  As well another issue was that I had left my iPod on the Shinkansen and figuring out how to retrieve it briefly, before opting to procure a new one. Figuring out specs in Japanese and being able to discuss them with the clerk in Japanese also showed me that I was growing in my confidence to speak at least.

April

I was able to take a placement test to figure out where I would be put as far as level wise. I was decidedly placed into the same levels. This was kind of discouraging at first. It felt kind of like I hadn’t grown, and I was tempted to do as other students had and go to the class to show my grades and bump up a level. However, what happened first semester had a thought behind it. I was surrounded by a variety of speakers, some I knew were above my level, and some who were about the same level. The plateau of intermediate held a large amount of students and is hard to get out of, and while I thought I had made progress, I realized I still wasn’t proficient enough to make that just out of level three yet. While this hurt, I knew that this next semester would get me some new teachers who could help me lay down pat the foundation for better understanding of course content.

In this, much of what was gone over the first month was review.

May

Despite the same classes being taken, the use of new books and different teachers for a few classes has made a huge difference. Kanji is much more comprehensible. Conversation is less speech based and more based on studying and completing everyday conversations. A new book makes comprehension have more grammar points, which are easier to comprehend. Composition with a different style has more similar vocabulary and more grammar patterns that were easier to comprehend. This month was highly focused on conjunctions and consequences.

Thanks to all of these factors I felt I had a stronger grip on the material. Even though new material was being introduced, it was mixed with familiar, evolving into a great mix of scaffolding to support further learning.

Reading had been harder before, but during this month it seemed to be a strengthening skill. I was able to read menus and labels more effectively, including at the Gudetama cafe and working on reading ingredients while cooking more complex dishes.

While cooking I was also able to be more involved in conversations more actively in the kitchen. One of my floor mates was pushing herself very hard in her studies and I was able to appropriately express concern for her in Japanese.

June

I continue to get stronger in review areas, being more apt to do the proper way to write in Japanese and do comparisons. However, it seemed like my speaking ability in more open situations went down. Such as during an interview assignment, my shyness was a discouragement from talking with native speakers. Its difficult to talk to strangers in Japanese, even though it’s more acceptable to bother others as a foreigner.

My reading ability continues to be strengthened thanks to my composition class. As well, outings in my spare time with friends continues to help with reading as well.

Overall June has this feeling of learning, but in smaller bits. it wasn’t as quick as before, but it wasn't dull either.

July

This month was very hectic. A lot of learning was done. I did volunteering and school observations, as well more active learning with composition and conversation. Conversation focused on being able to hold a conversation about issues, such as a noisy roommate, or having a problem, and figuring out a solution. Comprehensive was more active in solidifying sentence classification as well as reinforcing writing style.

During this time, I felt I was able to talk better and read better. Getting to volunteer with school children and speak to them in Japanese was very fun, as well getting to learn more from a guide who was kind enough to help translate for a school sporting event so that way I could better understand the school.

This month had both active immersive learning and in class learning equalled, though I still had a lot of trouble in the last week, as I was saddened by having to leave.

August

This was a sort of culmination of skills. I was able to close out my accounts independently in Japanese, being able to navigate beyond where I had been before. Final parties and thanks were given, in Japanese. Everything seemed to fall together, and it felt more sad than anything else. As though I was making more headway and having to return home. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling. Though I was able to increase my listening skills in the last few days I had as well.

Overall, this experience has lifted me up to new levels of Japanese, and I feel more capable than I did before my study abroad experience. However, I feel ideally that more time abroad would have bolstered my levels to a more professional level, such as that of N3, or N2 of the JLPT. I am proud of the progress I was able to make however, and glad that I was able to experience life in Japan.

[keegames]

AAA Value vs. Focused Design, or The 3D Sonic Problem

I’ll not mince words: I’m a Sonic fan. Ever since I borrowed the Sonic & Knuckles Collection for our old PCs, I’ve loved what the hedgehog has brought to gaming. As it stands, however, Sonic has had a rocky history with his 3D games. Sonic Adventure 1 and 2, Sonic Heroes, Sonic the Hedgehog (2006), Sonic Unleashed, Colors, Generations, Lost World… even the best of these games have had glaring flaws, and the worst have been some of the most infamously bad games in gaming history. Still, you can always catch me anticipating the next adventure from the blue blur, as even his worst games provide ample material to analyze.

While I could write entire chapters on what works and what doesn’t in nearly all of these games from a design standpoint, I’ll instead cut to the chase and focus on the core problem that has plagued Sonic ever since his jump to 3D in 1999 (and, perhaps, even longer than that). Many of the series’s issues can be connected to a trend that goes far beyond Sonic or even SEGA.

Size, Replayability, and Value

When you look at modern big-budget single-player-only video games, one thing you might notice is that they’re all HUGE. Maybe they’re a 100-hour RPG, or maybe they’re a massive open world with tons of collectibles or side quests. Maybe they’re both! Whatever the case, single-player games have gotten bigger over the years. There always has to be more to do. This isn’t new, of course. Ever since the 16-bit era, the “game you can beat in an afternoon” has fallen by the wayside. It’s not shocking; games are expensive, after all. Games like Super Mario World and The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past offered hours upon hours of gameplay before you would ever see the credits. The switch of games to 3D continued this trend; first time players will spend an incredibly long time getting the 70 Power Stars needed to reach Super Mario 64’s ending, much less nabbing all 120.

This transition to “bigger games” was, necessarily, a rejection of arcade design. Arcade games have to let more players play them in a short period of time, which is why many of them are difficult to learn or play, and also short to complete once learned. Arcade games derive their replay value from being difficult to master. This is also where the concept of “high scores” comes from; what better way to make players want to play again than clearly numerically rating their performance? Console games, however, did not have such design goals. Once a player purchased a console game, there was no more money involved, and a single copy was generally played for a long time by one or a few people. Innovations like the ability to save progress were also introduced to the design space, and data space became larger. Developers could now make every hour of a player’s time with the game different content, rather than expecting them to play the same thing over and over again.

However, with what was gained, something was, too, lost. The idea of playing the same content to improve your performance was lessened in importance. Scoring systems became irrelevant, and eventually disappeared altogether from many games. Many games nowadays don’t give any importance to a player’s performance at all beyond the basic level needed to complete the game. Gaming as a whole has a decidedly different mindset, thanks to this transition.

A Team Lost In Time

So, how does all this relate to Sonic? Let’s look at the original Sonic the Hedgehog, released in 1991. Sonic the Hedgehog has no save system, and it has 18 levels, each of which takes between 2 and 4 minutes to complete once a player can do so without dying. Super Mario World, a game with 72 levels with similar lengths of time taken to beat them, was released earlier. Sonic levels, however, offer something different. Most Super Mario World levels offer either a single path or a path that branches in a single spot, with the second path reached by performing a specific task. Many of Sonic the Hedgehog’s levels, however, have many different paths stacked on top of each other. Reaching them tends to require careful understanding of both the levels and of Sonic’s unique physics. Green Hill Zone, specifically, was designed with lots of ways to complete it, because the designers knew that it would be played every single time a player turned on the game. The series continued to build on its formula in its sequels, and even though a save feature was added in Sonic the Hedgehog 3, the game didn’t come close to the size of some of the bigger games of the time without “locking on” with Sonic & Knuckles, which essentially combined two games into one continuous experience.

After the Genesis, Sonic Team took a break from Sonic, but their two Saturn games help our perspective on the current situation of the franchise. NiGHTS into Dreams… and Burning Rangers were both very short games in a gaming landscape increasingly intolerant of short games. In order to give those games replay value, Sonic Team introduced an innovation that would enter the Sonic series with Sonic Adventure 2: a grading system. Both games expected you to go back to them and improve at each individual stage until you could get an A rank on them all. While both of these games are cult classics, neither gained large popularity. So, with the Dreamcast, Sonic Team finally made the jump into modern game design.

Sonic Adventure was, for the time, a big game. With six separate stories, fully voiced, lengthy cutscenes, hub worlds, minigames, and a virtual pet system, Sonic Adventure had all the trappings of a modern console game. However, it wasn’t all good. The characters that weren’t Sonic tended to just use shorter versions of his levels for the most part, and much of their gameplay was half-baked. While the game’s sequel technically had every character’s every level be unique, many of them reused assets, and the flawed non-Sonic gameplay continued to put a damper on the game. As the Sonic series continued, the 3D games tried various ways to make them proper modern games in length, all of which ended up flawed. Even Sonic Colors, which had a singular gameplay style and was generally well-received, ended up reusing lots of level geometry with small alterations and additions in the form of easily repeatable objects like boxes and platforms. I think that Sonic Team could make a short 3D Sonic game where the replay value is focused on the ranking system and it would be of high-quality, but their need to live up to modern console game design standards inevitably hurts everything they produce.

It’s Not Their Fault (Entirely)

While there are definitely questionable decisions going into every 3D Sonic game, the crux of the matter is that the need for “big” games is killing the concept of shorter games that beg to be replayed, at least at the budget and price point of modern AAA video games. The concept of “content” is valued to an insane degree, and I think that that might be hurting the variety of games that get made. We’ve created a culture where seeing the credits or reaching “100% complete” is the end of a player’s experience with a single-player game, no matter what. A player is only expected to go back to a game until all of its content is exhausted, at which point it’s tossed aside for the next game. The drive of the industry towards “bigger and better” has conditioned consumers towards treating games as singular experiences. Consumers then feed this treatment back into the industry, demanding that games be bigger in a single playthrough instead of deeper in multiple. It’s possible that these desires have even contributed to the terrible working conditions in the gaming industry, where people have to work awful crunch hours to put together the gigantic AAA games that gamers and publishers demand.

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of mastering something. A short game that encourages its players to master it causes said players to learn said game inside and out. It lets them get closer to the game, and to its developers. There’s an experience in plumbing the depths of a game that you don’t get from just playing once. I think it’s a worthwhile feeling for developers to chase, and it’s something that gets lost in our 80-hour open world single-completionist AAA game mindset.

Maybe I’m unusual. Maybe replaying a single-player game to get better at it is an extremely niche desire. Maybe nobody else would see a $60 value in a short, polished action game with scoring and gameplay systems meant to encourage replaying for the many hours that other games take to complete once. But if the market’s there, then it might be really helpful for developers, publishers, and consumers alike to let these ideas into their hearts. The hard-working folks in the industry might be able to have more time to themselves, publishers might have to spend less, and consumers might develop deeper attachments to their games.

And maybe, just maybe, Sonic Team would be able to put out an unequivocally great 3D Sonic game.

[mbcorvo-author]

11/11/11 Tag Game

Thank you @dotr-rose-love​ for tagging me!

Rules: answer 11 questions, write your own 11, tag 11 people

1. Did you have alternate ideas for a wip that eventually didn’t make it in the story or were exchanged with a better scene or sth? If yes, tell us one or a few that you left out (could be just a character too, or a name) I think that for every wip I have a lot of alternates ideas that got shoved into the trashbin or didn't even got added into the story because they didn't fit. The most evident example is my Sci-Fi wip. It's the one that has changed the most during its long years of being a work in progress. From an idea of story for an rpg was reworked to became a novel, then that plot has changed to remove everything that was connected to other's work (since it started as setting for an rpg, I took some races and planets from sci-fi movies and such), then changed again to fit a better idea, and changed again to be then shoved in the corner after hitting a MajorPlotHoleTM that made the story go down the drain. In all these years and reworks only the characters kept to be all the same, maybe I changed partially them to fit the new idea but they still were the original ones.

2. Do you have a specific audience in mind for your wip? I have to admit that I don't have a specific audience in mind for Beyond the Veil, even if the story could fall into "new adult" genre since most of the characters age from 20 years up. But for what I'm thinking for the story, it will fit every one that love fantasy stories (or specifically urban fantasy ones) and that are searching something "lighter" than the dark-ish/gothic/gloomy ones I'm often seeing in bookshop shelves. While for a wip that I have in the backburner I think that it would be better for a grown-up audience since it (at least in my ideas) will be more on the horror side of mythpunk with biblical figures like devils, angels and whatnot.

3. Is it important to you that your wip has a moral or a message? I think that it could be nice if a novel has a moral or a message for the readers. I'm not good with morals and messages...like, I know I'd love to put some of them in my story but I'm not sure if I'll be able to mix them well in the story so everyone could find them. But for Beyond the Veil I'm trying hard to plan everything to give the message that everything will be better and...welp not saying anything else because it could be spoiler!

4. What kinds of relationships do you like writing the most (romantic, platonic, familial, etc)? I love writing friendships. The healty kind of friendships where each friend really care about the other. I was in a lot of unhealty friendships in which I gave everything and I got nothing except being laughed at when I wasn't there...so writing friends that are really caring about each other makes me feel good. In my stories you won't find only that kind of friendship, though. Life isn't always peaches and cream, so in my stories I try to reflect it.

5. What kind of research have you done for your wip? what have you learned? I love learning, so I love doing researches even when I find myself a couple of hours later learning about something not relevant for any wip. For my sci-fi I ended up collecting a bunch of scientific magazines, but this maybe it's not really relevant because I was always a science nerd and there always been some scientific-oriented stuff at home, but sometimes getting something new could help remaining up to date with new discoveries and such. For Beyond the Veil I'm mostly bounching back and forth from Wikipedia to some websites found while googling, but going into the next town library hoping to find something about local/Italian folklore I found a couple of books that are transcriptions of trials of witches and similar. For the horror-ish wip in the backburner I weirdly have to do less research...either because when I was a teen I tried to write an horror and got weird stares when I asked the librarian if they had something about torture and then left renting a book about black masses...and then proceeded to do some research online, I think that I still have a pdf copy of the "Bible of Satan" by LaVey somewhere in my laptop...and also because in the last years I did some research while playing in a homebrew urban fantasy rpg set in the Purgatory. I learnt...quite a lot of stuff I think? Maybe not the useful kind of stuff, but stuff that I could use in my works and that could be interesting or weird random notions that I could tell to someone.

6. If your wip became very successful, would you want to make a movie adaptation? why or why not? I think I already answered this in another version of the tag game, so I'm going to copy-paste it because heck yes.

"Gosh, yes! But I’d like to have a big part in realizing them choosing how to adapt the story, who to cast and so on, like Neil Gaiman with the Good Omens series and such. Also, screenwriting is one of my dream jobs."

7. Did you have any alternate title ideas for your wip? if so, what are they? The sci-fi, in its many reworks, has never changed its title: Otherverse. Maybe for some time had some variants like "Chronicles from the Otherverse" but usually I ended up keeping the original title. Beyond the Veil actually is a placeholder title, but looks like it could become the actual title since I never found anything else that I liked as title. Maybe when (and if) I'll complete it I'll know if I want to keep this or change it. The horror in the backburner has a title. And now I'm struggling to find a good plot that could fit the title (sorry, I'm not telling it since I never "officially" announced this new wip since as for now it's only a pinterest board and a mix of ideas in my head) or changing it and making it a chapter title.

8. What has been the hardest part about writing your wip so far? The plot. As I said in the past, for Beyond the Veil I came up first with the characters, then the generic setting and an even more generic plot for them. Now I'm facing some difficulties to make everything connect correctly and, most importantly, interesting. The plot was also a big part of the failure of my sci-fi, so I'm afraid that Beyond the Veil could face the same fate.

9. Do you prefer writing action or description? Description. I re-read one of my old writings, one that was an actual attempt to write something original and not fanfiction, and the chapters where full of detailed descriptions because I remebered that I was trying to put on paper the picture I had in my head. But, as a reader, I'm not really fond of too leghty descriptions so I'm always keeping myself in check to not over-describe stuff and - at least - describe stuff only when it's necessary and for how much is necessary to know. I feel that I'm not really good at writing action, but after years of text-based rpgs where in some you had to nail the action description correctly to have more probabilty of good results during quests, I think that now I have at least the basics for them.

10. What do you want your readers to come away with after reading your story? Uhhh...I think that this question could be linked to the previous one about the moral and message in the wip since my answer for that one could also answer this one...

11. What’s your favorite part about your wip? what makes you excited to write it? The characters. I love writing and seeing them interact with each other and seeing how they evolve during the story. You already know that I'm fond in particular of Luciel the Genie, but this is because they are a rework of the character I played for years in the rpg I previously talked, but I'm fond of all the characters I create. There are also some scenes in my mind that I can't wait to write...but the most important thing, apart from characters, is that Beyond the Veil is a wip that I started after years of writer's block and time spent (or wasted) on the sci-fi that never worked.

The heatwave today has gotten me and my brain is a bit fried by the heat, so the questions will remain the same and...I'm not tagging anyone. If you see this and want to do it, feel free to do so and tag me so I can read it! :D

[ask-de-writer]

DARING DO and the Gryphon’s Quest! : MLP Fan Fiction : Chapter 17 of 19

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DARING DO

and

The Gryphon’s Quest!

Chapter 17

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

and

Carmen Pondiego

Cover art by Wind the Mama Cat

29584 words

© 2016 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 03/29/16

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

This is a Fan Fiction based on My Little Pony.  Canterlot, Princess Luna and the name Daring Do are owned by Hasboro Inc.

//////////////

Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  

1.) They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact.

2.) They may use the characters  or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works,  cosplay, or fan musical compositions.

3.) All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction are actively encouraged.

///////////////////////

For new readers, this link leads to the beginning of  

Daring Do and the Gryphon’s Quest!

///////////////////////

Chapter 17. The Coward’s Weapon!

Daring Do was pleasantly surprised at just how good her half brother Blendin was at specimen preparation.  There was another surprise for her too.

Friend spent much of her time crooning to her Eagle eggs.  She did frequently leave her nest and lend her green magic to the task, usually greatly simplifying the work.  It was the greatest assistance at particularly difficult or delicate times in the preparation of the failed nymphs that she had loved so dearly and watched over for so many centuries.

Almost any time that they took a break from the arduous task before them, Friend would leave the eggs and nest protected by a nearly invisible glow of green magic.  She would take a place beside Daring Do and purr/croon softly.  Daring Do found real rest and comfort in the love that Friend shared with her.  She often rested her head against the changeling’s horn and shared thought and memory.

It was from that sharing that she learned something surprising about Friend. When her hive was attacked by war equipped and battle ready unicorns, Friend defended the hive’s precious eggs. 

She slaughtered ten of the enemy, literally tearing them to pieces in the defense of those eggs.  When her shared hive mind felt the Queen die, she went briefly berserk.  Four of the ten attacking unicorns that she killed fell in those few moments.

It was duty and love for the eggs that she tended that brought her back to something resembling sanity.  Taking all of the eggs that she could carry, she fled into the night.

The world outside of the hive was a strange and confusing place at first.  By luck alone, she found a long disused road that led to the mountains.  She did the best that she could but it was not enough.  One by one, she felt the spark of returned love die out of each of the eggs.  Her heart was torn asunder by the loss.

Daring Do knew the rest of the story.  What she did not know was the sheer depth of feeling that Friend had developed for her.  She meant it when she said that Daring Do was Matunen,  Hive Queen, in the ancient tongue of Early Middle Equestrian.

Friend was totally contented for the first time in ages.  That in no way interfered with any whit of her egg tending.

Blendin saw his half sister’s serene relaxation around Friend and was glad. The Apprentice Librarian of the Great Library in him was glad too.  He was learning things about conservation of irreplaceable delicate artifacts and relics that would apply to his work in the Great Library.  

Once everything was ready, he stared at the results of their work in wonder.  He had not only helped to prepare the whole foundation for the creation of an entire intelligent species, he had it and all of his half sister’s notes cataloged for the Great Library!

Together, they sent a note of their progress to the Empress.

The door, upon opening, showed the Empress, Grata, and the Right Wing of the Imperial Throne.  The hallway was blocked by heavily armed Imperial Guards in full battle armor.

Daring Do was about to ask if such precautions were necessary when a loud, harsh voice from up the hallway demanded, “This is all Blasphemous!  Even if it were the truth and showed our  ancient roots, it would still be blasphemy!  The Holy Legends declare that Faith alone is sufficient and seeking truth beyond its holy pages undermines Faith!

“Whatever is here must be destroyed!”

The Empress responded, “What is about to be destroyed is YOU, Krapper!  You have fifteen seconds to be around the curve and out of OUR sight before I order my troops to open fire!”

“You would not dare!”

“Nine seconds left, Krapper.”

There was a clatter of claws on stone as the speaker retreated!

The Empress drew a deep breath, her crest showing disgust.  “The entire lot of First Creation Idiots want to destroy the only real history that our kind has.”

Friend spoke up, “Your Majesty, they are wrong.  This I/we know.  Before I/we loved the eggs that became the nymphs of your kind, I/we saw changelings.  I/we saw unicorns.  I/we saw Eagles. I/we saw pegassi.

“I/we helped matunen Daring Do and brother Blendin to be sure that these failed nymphs truly show how I/we loved the eggs that became the nymphs that are your kind.”

The Empress, crest showing deep thought, began tracing the development of her kind.  She was reading the placards set by each step of the way. Looking over to the true mother of her whole species, she asked, “Why did you go from pony to big cat for our hindquarters?”

Friend crowded over to point as she spoke.  “Not all big cat.  See how these bones go?  That is from the pegassus.  The head was carnivore, Eagle. The hindquarters had to eat meat too or fail.  I/we did see a lion in mountains once, close enough to feel its insides by loving it.  I/we used what I/we knew.”

Grata, crest rippling in laughter, exclaimed, “We are so lucky that she didn’t see a bear!”

After the fit of laughter passed around the room, the Empress asked, “How will this all be presented, Doctor Do?”

Daring Do sketched rapidly.  “The case, to be portable must be of stout woodwork.  The front viewing window should be made of glass that has been spell strengthened like a Magic Net mirror.”

The Empress nodded, crest showing some concern.  “You mentioned not risking the real relics and that is a good idea.  

“We have General Iron Hooves here with some of his munitions experts.  The team that they are consulting with is known to you, though we know that you do not like them much.

“V.I.L.E. Is here.  They have sent Carmen Pondiego, Baron Von Nighthoof, Marehem Skadefryd, and Kiros Asbhy.  I understand that they have also got a number of Agents here too.”

Crest smiling, the Empress went on, “I was warned to be sure that I still have both mandibles of my beak after dealing with them.  However, they will be absolutely honest with family.

“They have several missions.  One is being worked on now with General Ironhooves and his aides.  Another is to be the agency for creating your cases and making the copies for display.  I will be ordering twenty sets.”

Daring Do, looking doubtful, did agree, “I have to admit that when it comes to museum quality duplication, Mom’s company is unexcelled.”  

An all too familiar voice caroled from the doorway, “So sweet to hear you actually say something nice about my company!  Of course we are honest!  V.I.L.E. has never been caught or proved to be guilty of ANY crime at all!

“Suspicions?  Poof!  Suspicion and a cup of tea will get you anything from a nice Bergamont to bag of Lupton’s Worst!

Carmen Pondiego strutted into the room in her trademark porkpie hat and fire engine red dress.  She called over her shoulder, “General, Dear, would you please come in and see for yourself what my daughter found that is causing all this mess?”

General Ironhooves entered the door.  He was in his simple field uniform.

He tipped his Campaign Hat to the Empress and her Wings.  He approached the study tables, examining the relics with care.  He picked up Daring Do’s voluminous field notes and sketches, seeming to leaf through them, except that once in a while he stopped long enough to separate pages that stuck together.

He put down the books and turned to the Empress.  “Ma'am, you have chosen your battlefield perfectly. Better, you have the enemy in the sights of your artillery.

“I hope that it does not come to armed conflict, but if it does, after consulting with Carmen here, I think that you will have a LOT of surprises for them!”

Daring Do managed to look skeptical.  “Only them?”

Before Carmen could snark back, Marehem wandered in, right past the security detail.  He grinned.  “Helps to be a misfortune changel …”

His eyes bugged out.  It was the first time that Daring Do could remember that her uncle Marehem was caught totally off guard!

“An Egg-tender, HERE?  How did that happen?  How can she live without a hive?”

Friend looked up from serenely turning the eggs in the nest.  She smiled as she said, “Matunen Daring Do.”

Uncle M stopped like he’d hit a brick wall headfirst.  “Adora, Matunen?  A queen?”

The Empress nodded, crest rippling amusement.  “It hit us like that too, when we realized that Friend is OVER two thousand years old.  She was the sole survivor of a destroyed hive.

“Tending eggs kept her sane.  She is the Mother who loved an unstable and fatal hybridization into becoming our strong race.  I gather that for her, loving means something other than a simple feeling.”

Marehem got it together to say, “It sure does.  The eggs a queen lays are sort of neutral.  They will develop as random kinds of changelings.  Give them to an Egg-tender and tell her how many of which sort, worker, other egg-tenders, drones, even a queen, and that is what you will get. Their love is a very complex magic that no other kind can do.”

Daring Do, eyes twinkling, suggested, “Make the order for V.I.L.E. twenty one copies.  We will donate one to the Nightmare Wars Collection of the Royal Museum!”

General Ironhooves grinned hugely.  “You really want to shaft those First Creationists, don’t you?”

Daring Do simply said, “Yes.  They defile and deny the history that I have devoted my life to.”

Carmen pointed to the work tables and said, “Will you take a real compliment from your mother, Adora?  This, notes, restorations, preparation and all is a fantastic piece of work.

“V.I.L.E. will duplicate it with the greatest of care.  With your permission, we will keep a copy for our own private museum.”

Mutely, Daring Do nodded.

She saw Uncle M talking to a Magic Net mirror and turning it to show everything.

Carmen pointed to an especially fragile relic and said, “Be especially careful of this one, Baron.”

One by one, the laboriously prepared relics, notes and all quietly vanished. General Ironhooves simply noted, “Handy trick, that!”

Daring Do, Friend, with her nest, and Blendin were brought to a large suite with an open airy feeling.  One Gryphon port was open enough for the Eagles to get in and out but not Gryphons.  The rooms were swarmed with Eagles.

Friend immediately shared that soft green magic of hers to include all of the waiting Eagles.  The way that they crowded close about the nest, it was clear that they had been waiting for Friend’s loving magic.  Several shuffled aside and one reached out a beak and snagged Daring Do’s tunic, making her join or get a torn tunic.  She joined the Eagles in luxuriating in the literal glow of Friend’s shared love.

After a few days of resting up, Rahak came by.  Crest at attention, he requested, “Doctor Do, master Blendin, would you come please?  The display copies are ready for examination.”

They followed the Wing Commander back down to the workroom.  There were twenty one large cases of fine solid woodwork, each faced by stout glass armored by a spell to the toughness of steel.  The contents were beautifully displayed to make the whole progression from hippogriff to Gryphon utterly clear.  Each item of the display had its explanatory placard.

Neatly done on each placard was an exact copy of a reference to the actual original Legend Document, with translation. After that part was a clear, simple note explaining the item.

Central to the whole display was Daring Do’s detailed sketch of the remains of the failed nymphs in place, as they were found.

The whole thing had such an impact that Daring Do’s breath drew in, in a way that she had heard so many times as a child riding her mother’s back in a knapsack, when her mother saw some beautiful thing that she was about to steal.

Turning to an equally awestruck Blendin, Daring Do said, “Tell Carmen that this is the best display preparation that I have ever seen.”

“Thank you, dear,” said a familiar voice.  A khaki colored unicorn mare in a form fitting fire engine red dress stepped out of the shadows.  Daring Do was shocked to see bags under her eyes.

Carmen Pondiego told her, “The General is sleeping now.  I have been working along with every agent that I have available.  I cannot tell you what we have been doing.  Imperial Security is involved.  I only hope that it has been enough to prevent the war.”

Rahak suggested, “Let us all prepare for this evening’s banquet.  That is when you will make your presentation, Doctor Do.”

Daring Do was looking around the Imperial Banquet Hall, at the many war banners that fluttered in the light breeze.  There were also the banners of the provinces of the Empire.  The wood and stonework was outstanding for its solidity and rich carving.

Perched on every place that they could find claw room were hundreds of Eagles, looking expectantly at Friend. Her nest had been placed conveniently close to Daring Do’s place.

The dining tables were all set so that every diner could see the big glass fronted case with its display. There were two  small books by each place.

One was a copy of the original document of the Legends, written some time shortly before 54 Post Nightmare Wars.  It had an exact copy of the document itself, a line by line literal translation and a third line in modern Gryphon with notes to explain the meaning of idioms used when the original was written.  No commentaries.  No editing.  Only a foreword explaining that this was a true copy of the Legends that they all revered and tried to follow.  Commentaries were dispensed with in the hope that the reader could understand what the words said and form their own opinions based on solid fact.

It was signed and sealed by the Empress herself.

The other small book contained copies of Daring Do’s expedition notes and sketches that were relevant to the display showing the origin of their species.

The First Created believers started to scream, “Blasphemy!”

The Empress herself cut them off.  “Silence, Krapper!  These are the Legends that you CLAIM to revere!”

“You have left out the rich and ancient commentaries!”

Her crest rippling with laughter, the Empress exclaimed, “Ancient? Krapper, the FIRST commentary was inserted into a small book like this only thirty five years ago!  It had a note that it WAS NOT HOLY WRIT, only opinion.  That note was removed and further commentaries added. More than half of the mass of your book has been added in just the last five years!

“It must be wonderful to be able to write up whatever you please, insert it into the next edition of your book and have it called HOLY WRIT!”

“Our Book is the true Law!  Holy Word is higher than mere secular law!”

“NO, Krapper!  That is direct sedition!  Guards!  Stand behind Krapper!  If he utters one more word of sedition, cut his wing tendons at once.  He will be given the LONG DROP at sunrise for the crime.”

The Empress paused for effect and added, “Now, we have a banquet laid before us.  Let not Krapper’s ill manners spoil your appetite.  After we have eaten, we will hear from Doctor Daring Do, whose actual facts, well documented and proven may provide you with much food for thought.”

The server placed a plate in front of Daring Do, commenting, “I hope that we got it to your taste.  It is a sauced alfalfa steak.  We don’t eat such fare, so we are not much used to cooking it.”

Daring Do replied with a smile, “I am sure that it will be fine.  You have been doing well the last few days.”

She cut a bite and began to chew.  Numbness spread from her mouth.  She gasped and could draw no air.  Her vision was fading slowly.

She heard, “The Blasphemer has been struck down!  Any means to strike at blasphemy is honorable, the Holy Writ is clear!”

The voice of the Empress cried, “Poison is the Coward’s Weapon!  Seize them!  Do not wait for the Long Drop!  Kill them now!”

The voice of Friend cut across the fading din, “No!  Matunen still has love.  I/we need them!  They will wish for your long drop!  I/we promise …”

Then no sight.  No sound.  No touch.  No taste.  Nothing …

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[bonesandpoemsandflowers]

I used to go to various spooky cities pretty regularly, just for fun. Aesthetic, fun, spooky dates and spooky love, tres goth, whatever. The past few years I have had much less time for fun, and that’s been mostly on purpose.

But the LAST time I went somewhere spooky for fun, it was Savannah, not New Orleans, in, hmm, summer 2015? Yes. The weekend before my best friend died, you see, not that I knew that was going to happen when I--well--I’m getting head of myself.

Bunch of highly personal spiritual shit under the cut. Don’t click if that’s not your bag. If it is your bag, I hope you like skeletons.

I grew up Santera, right. I was dedicated to Oshun at an early age. My mother got more into Vodou as time went on, and in Miami, at least, those lines are really blurry. But like all kids that grow up in bomb ass mystery religions, I went through a rebellious Wiccan early teen and-it-harm-none hippie dippe phase. As you do, honestly. It’s a thing.

And then, as an adult, for most of my adult life, I was an atheist. I never talk about this, and I kind of hem and haw and skirt the issue of what exactly I do now, despite the occasional witchy post. I was never an obnoxious atheist, and arguably I was never a really good atheist, because it’s not so much that I didn’t believe, but that I decided I shouldn’t, and that’s not the same thing. But time went on and I managed to bury that kernel of belief very deep. I didn’t want to come across as credulous. Give me my GMOs, give me my artificial sweeteners, give me all the fucking science and none of your anti-science bullshit that you wrap up in absurd and appropriated tidbits of mysticism.

(and a lot of that stands, actually. give me my GMOs.)

So: I was an atheist, and I was trying very hard.

Certain powers, you see, are patient.

I kept the aesthetic and my cultural pride, though--Oshun and Erzulie always got my hushed little prayers in quick mind whispers. Oshun got votive candles no matter how far from belief I allegedly got, and to Erzulie I gave my skin--and this was a devotional act, full stop, despite everything else I claimed to not believe. And the ocean, I never stopped worshiping the ocean in one sense or another, and even my poetic obsession with the ocean is devout.

however.

however.

Someone I shoved out of the picture entirely.

Certain powers, you see, are indulgent. They’ll wait for your silly little human insecurities to play out. up to a point.

In my dreams since I was a child I have been friends with a decomposing skeleton wearing a tophat. As I got older I recognized who that was supposed to be.

I don’t even remember when or specifically why I threw out my magic shit and put my Baron bust in a closet, but I did. I couldn’t get rid of the Baron Fabulous bust, even though I tried to make myself want to do that, so I climbed on top of my kitchen counter and shoved it into the back of a pantry far too high for me to reach.

And then and only then did I make any real progress in pretending to be a legit atheist. Out of sight, out of mind, out of life, motherfucker!

So the point is, I went to Savannah in full on sneering mode. “Hah! This hotel claims to be haunted! What a quaint marketing strategy. Midnight one man show of ghost stories in a historic theater? Sure, I like atmosphere and aren’t people so suggestible?. After hours tour of a huge famous cemetery? Hahaha sure whatever that’s cute, thanks for booking us for that, babe. Let me prance through here and not say hello and leave no offerings, let me laugh and sneer and make fun.

Anyway, so then I had the single most terrifying weekend of my entire life.

I have had a lot of mundane real life scary shit happen to me. And I’ve had a bunch of weird shit happen to me. And yet I have never, ever told anyone the full story of what happened to me in Savannah. I can’t. Even if I sat you down, looked you right in the eye, and told you everything, and you believed me--I would not be able to explain to you the DEPTH of everything, how it felt. What it meant.

And what played out soon after.

I joke about this weekend, but only because I’m making fun of myself. For being an idiot. And a rude idiot, too. So disrespectful.

I took most of this in stride at the time--sort of. I flailed around and I panicked and I knew I had to make some changes. Years after I had put him there, I scaled my kitchen counters, pulled the Baron out of my pantry closet, put him up on a prominent bookshelf in my apartment and said, basically, “MY BAD I’M SO SORRY.”

I mention this, sometimes, and I mention my best friend dying, and I think some people think that I’m implying a cause and effect relationship there. Absolutely not. In no way whatsoever. I don’t think magic works that way at all, and, frankly, I’m insulted you think my deity so petty.

I knew someone was going to die. I knew. I don’t mean in a nervous, jittery, “am i losing my mind?” kind of way. I don’t mean in an anxious gnawing preoccupation kind of way. I don’t mean in a doubtful dreading way. I don’t mean paranoia. I don’t mean fear. I don’t mean anxiety.

I mean that I knew. I knew someone close to me was going to die. I knew that was nothing I could, or should, do about it.

I was being warned, not as a threat, but as a kindness.

I knew. When we called the cops and the cops eventually called us and the door was getting bust open at 3 something AM, I knew. I was there and fully awake and well dressed.

Why? Because I fucking knew.

I didn’t put on pajamas that night. I showered and changed into a fresh set of clothes.

“What are you dressed for? Come to bed.”

Fine, I’ll come to bed. But I won’t sleep.

And I didn’t. Because I knew. I knew I was just going to have to get up and get dressed again, and I knew why.

And so it was, and at 2 something AM, we got the call, and I soberly drove us over to my best friend’s neighborhood, and I knew.

Did it still hurt? like a MOTHERFUCKER. like you will not believe unless you’ve lost someone that close to you, and if you have, I am sorry.

So it wasn’t the terrifying weekend that brought me back.

It was that warning, that kindness. That mercy.

And oh, did it still hurt. My friend who died was my best friend and also my best social outlet. We used to go dancing every weekend and he was a b boy in addition to being a personal trainer and a huge nerd. I adored him. Z adored him. And he adored us.

So his death was a big deal. And his death, so close to my personal decision to come back to magic, that was a big lifestyle change.

I’ve written about that before, and how then I slowly became a hermit in a tower. Hermitage. Spiritual hermitage along with the writing, along with the increase in physical discipline. I have learned many things. Not half as much as I’d like? Sure. Nonetheless.

But there was a lot of terror, at first. And a whole  lot of other emotions. And I haven’t sorted that out yet.

Here’s what I’ve only just realized, though.

That weekend, and what came soon after, and that process I went through? That is a bonafide reawakening, my friends. That is some born again shit. That might seem obvious in the telling, but it WASN’T, as it was happening.

You don’t realize that change is going to stick, sometimes, and even when you say “things will be different now,” you don’t know what that’s going to mean.

and don’t get me wrong: I was, for a time, VERY distracted from the spiritual quest.

There are shamanistic traditions that talk about cracking open the head as a form of initiation.

Now, I’ve had my head literally cracked open--or more accurately, carefully drilled open by a highly skilled neurosurgeon. So, check, I guess.

But when I look back at the absolute, like--

Everything that’s happened since then.

So much has happened since then.

And so much happened as a result of that weekend, and the thing is, it was a total confluence of events that brought me to Savannah, nothing of my doing, really. A hottie booked me a romantic trip and so I went, duh. Wouldn’t you?

But so here I am, all these years later, which isn’t even really that many years later, and my world is so fundamentally different. So much has changed and I didn’t even notice it changing at the time. And so much has remained the same, too, and I am forever grateful for those precious constant things. I love you, my constant star, and I always will.

But body, soul, aesthetic, skill set, academic knowledge, everything! So much is different! So! fucking! much! AND I lost all my material possessions!

And here I am, booking a hotel, grabbing a friend, and making my way to New Orleans. Just for the weekend. If a confluence of events brought me TO Savannah, it almost feels like this has been the opposite. I have been so stressed lately, about everything. I didn’t think I was going to be able to swing this, period, let alone last minute. But you know, really? So much fell into place for me, here and now. There’s been so much luck. So much grace.

So even if, like, nothing happens--even if I somehow manage to have the most boring weekend ever, which I’m SO not going to do, but whatever, even if--there’s still something, something...

An initiation? Not exactly, I don’t think. A rite? A proof? I don’t know, exactly.

A chance to apologize? Well, yes. Always more of those.

But I think of the last couple of years, and I think of the future plans I’m trying for.

And I feel, more than anything

That my divinity is loving to the point of indulgence, and understanding, and kind--

but ultimately, ultimately, if he holds out his bony hand

I still have to step up and take it.

Ten years ago, in my dreams, he asked me a question.

And only now am I finally saying:

yes.

What does saying yes look like? What will that mean? I can’t see the shape of it yet. And it honestly kind of doesn’t matter.

yes, yes, yes.

[tkscz]

Defining and changing the name of Metroidvania

I've wanted to do this for a while now, but I wanted to work out all of my thoughts before writing this. This is going to be a long one, but I think it's time we truly define what makes a game a MetroidVania. Lately I've been playing games that seem to get placed in that genre that never really feel like Metroid or Castlevania: Musical noun of DARK EDGE noun. If anything, they always felt like either Zelda II: The Adventure of Link or Castlevania II: Simon's Quest. It always felt like they got a few elements from the former, but most of the game played like the latter. For example, Guacamelee and Steam World Dig. I enjoyed both games, don't get me wrong, but neither felt like I was playing a MetroidVania, regardless of the former game making Metroid references. They always felt like they did something that took them out of what made the MetroidVania genre so unique to me. So, I replayed Guacamelee at the same time I played Super Metroid and kept trying to pin point what about Guacamelee (and other subsequent games placed in the genre) felt so off. As I played through I began to notice what about them felt so different, regardless of what about them were similar.

My play through of both games got me to realize what was at the core of this genre. For me, it was the exploration, more precisely, the way you explore. And I don’t just mean back tracking. I feel like I shouldn’t be mentioning that at this point, but it needs to be said, back tracking is in a lot of adventure style games. Sandboxes? Backtracking. Zelda-like games? Backtracking. Even some rouge-like and RPGs have a lot of backtracking. Backtracking is a part of Metroidvanias, but not the only genre where backtracking is a part of its core. Now that I got that out of the way, what makes its exploration feel unique is that it’s a maze, more to say, its entire world is one big maze. In Metroidvania games, and in mazes, there is a very specific path from the beginning to the end, and like with any maze, the player is not given any clue how to traverse said maze, they just have to do it. Some games gave you a way point, but found ways to maze around said way points. For example, Metroid Prime told you what room you need to get to next, but often left out how to get there, leaving the player to discover the way themselves. Metroid Zero mission went a little too far with the hints, but kept the world twisted enough to keep the feeling of a maze. We won’t talk about Other M, not at this point. However, in a game like Guacamelee, the game’s world didn’t always seem maze like. The game would tell me where to go with a map detailed enough for me to tell exactly how I get there. I didn’t quite notice it, but after the second play through it hit me, the game had a hub/overworld. While the hub felt somewhat maze like, it broke up the flow of the world, giving the game a different feel, closer to a Zelda than a Metroid. It became even more noticeable when I decided to start playing Castlevania Symphony of the Night and Aria of Sorrow.

What I then wanted to figure out was why did this hub world break up the game. Why did Guacamelee feel more like Zelda than Metroid? Hell, why didn’t Zelda and Metroid feel the same? So, I focused on the hub world and started to realize what it was pretty quickly. The hub world felt more linear. There were areas of the hub world that could be explored, but not very many. In Metroid games, there are multiple ways you can go, most wrong (although the game usually does reward you for your exploration) however, the game never felt like the world was split into two different types of worlds. Even if you take all the wrong ways, it still feels like the same world map. On the other hand, in similar games with hub worlds, it felt far more linear because the hub world isn’t a part of the maze like sub-worlds, and thus the way you explored them became different. In a Metroid game, the player went the wrong way because the player was trying to find the correct way, like any maze you do on paper. With a hub world, the player doesn’t really do that. The game doesn’t make it difficult to find the more maze like sub-areas (dungeons, temples, small off to the side rooms), but instead, gives the player hints on where to find them. They are huge and distinguishable on the overworld map. The game has obvious signs pointing to their destination (figuratively and literally). The player could go off on a tangent and explore the overworld, but the player rarely did it because they got lost, they mostly did it because, well it’s fun. It’s fun to just explore the overworld map, but the player is usually aware that they are going off on a tangent and not towards the purpose goal. In the more maze-like adventure style (Metroidvania) games, the player doesn’t know where they’re headed, they went into a room because the thought it would lead them to where they’re supposed to go, but instead, they went into a room with a new item or some other prize the game gave them, and not to go on a tangent, but that is a brilliant thing to do. The developers know the player is going to run into dead ends or just go down the wrong path, but giving the player a prize for doing so only helps the player want to keep going through the maze. You know how scientist use to lead rats through a maze by having the snack at the end and the rat goes through the entire thing with the end goal in mind? Well, people are not rats. When people go through a maze, they become tired of reaching dead ends, and will quit the maze if they kept running into them. But, if players get something for every wrong way, then they’ll feel even if they go the wrong way, they’ll at least get something, and that makes the maze worth it, and even that is a part of the Metroidvania gameplay.

So then, why are these games in the same genre? If I’m confident that these games are more Zelda-like than they are Metroid, why is it these games still get classified into that genre? Well, because they do share some similarities with Metroid. The idea of what made a game a “Metroidvania” was as follows: an adventure game that is 2D, has platforming and you need to collect items to go from one part of the game to the next. However, that’s vague. There are RPGs that play like that, but we still call them RPGs. Zelda titles play a lot like that, Zelda II in particular, but other 2D Zeldas have had platforming elements in them. Hell, I even asked before, why aren’t Zelda and Metroid in the same sub-genre of adventure games. And as I explained right afterwards, the way the player explores isn’t the same. It all comes down to the world, whether or not it has one large maze-like world, or a hub world that leads to smaller maze like sub-areas. But let’s go even further into this definition of a Metoridvania and break up what makes this type of game.

Let’s go over the item use. See, one of the things that makes a Metroidvania (which from this point on I will refer to as the “Maze-like”) is gaining an item to unlock doors that were once locked. For example, the pink doors in Metroid can only be opened by a missile. To start the player doesn’t have any, so they can’t break those doors. Once they get them, they can go back to all the pink doors they skipped. This actually goes on throughout the rest of the game. Regardless of opening these pink doors, there are even more pink doors going forward, which you already have the key to. But other games do this. Other adventure games have done this for a long time. Point and clicks, mystery games, Zelda-like games, they have all done this. To say this defines Metroid doesn’t make sense when it’s part of other genres of adventure games. So then, is there a way that Metroid does it different than these other games? Yes, it continues to use the item no matter what. In other games that have been placed under the Maze-like genre, and other adventure genre games for that matter, the player uses the item in three main places; the overworld the sub-world they found the item, and the final level. The ability is barely used elsewhere (other sub-worlds), while in Maze-likes, the ability is constantly used. This can be contributed back to the one single world aspect. It’s used everywhere because the world isn’t split up in a way where specific areas only need the item for progression. The world is an open maze where at any time, any item can be needed to progress. Whereas Zelda-like adventure games (and other games in the adventure genre) usually have one spot on the linear overworld that needs it for progression. It’s a way to let the player know they are progressing. The player gets deeper into the world, which confirms their progression, rather than beating a specific sub-area being confirmation of progression.

Another aspect of the Maze-like that separates it form the Zelda-like is its choice of world structure. As I pointed out before, Maze-likes do NOT have hub worlds, as that would separate the game into two forms of exploration, exploration by choice and exploration by accident. That happens because of the way these two worlds have you travel. See, in a Maze-like, the player always has many choices in which door or way they choose to enter/go. Most are locked off until the specific item to open that way is obtained, and this causes the game to be structured different than Zelda-likes with their hub worlds. Let’s say these paths in both games are lettered, with each letter following the correct path to go, e.g. A to B, B to C, C to D and so on. Let’s also say that for other paths that can be taken, the doors are labeled in double or triple letters, like AA or DBB. Let’s then say in each genre the player starts at doorway A. In a Maze-like, the player goes through door A and then passes other doors. However, these doors may not be door B or C or D. They could be door AD, door CDB, and door Z, with Z leading to the final area of the game. As the player final gets to B and obtain the next item, after passing a few more doors after B, the item the player obtain does not open door C, but instead opens RQ, which has halls with doors CB, WZ, RRR, and D, which D can only be gotten through by getting the item at the end of C, and even after getting into door D, door E is not within that area, but instead it leads to doors O and T, while door E is behind door CDB, which was back in the area between door A and B. This creates the maze-like structure as it requires the player to have to go through each multi-letter door, before they can find each single letter door. Now with Zelda-likes, after going on path A, the player is lead directly to path B, but B is locked and the player now has to go to sub-world A, aka the first dungeon. Once sub-world A’s item has been obtained and boss defeated, the player then can unlock hub-world path B. The player then has the choice of going directly to path C, but can also travel to path AA or path AB or path AC, as the item from sub-world A also access to them. However, the player is made very well aware of how to get to path C and is aware that path AA to AC are for exploration, and not progression. They can get an item that would help from those areas, but it’s not necessary to beat the game. This creates a different play from it’s world structure. As I said before, the player doesn’t travel the wrong way on accident, but makes the choice of going in that direction, making it so the structure of the game’s world effects how the player plays the game.

Now let’s go into another aspect of the old definition of Maze-like, the dimensions part of it. There are so many people who put games into this genre because they are 2D. However, there are games that fit perfectly into the genre that are 3D (NOT OTHER M! but I’ll get to that in a bit). I’m going to start with a mind blower, Resident Evil is a Maze-like. Now I can hear people disagreeing with that, saying it’s a survival horror, and they are right. A big part of that game is based on its horror elements and the lack of resources given to the player, however, the way it has the player progress through the world is how it’s done in a Maze-like. If one re-plays the original (or Remake) Resident Evil, they’ll notice that without the fear factor, and with good skill in ammo and health conservation, that the game works like a Maze-like. The player finds specific items that they can use to access areas they could not before in order to find other items to access further into the world, without the need of a hub. The game has no platforming what-so-ever and yet still pulls it off, showing that the genre doesn’t need to be in 2D (or be a platformer) to work. Batman: Arkham Asylum (NOT City, Origins or Knight) and Luigi’s Mansion also follow this closely (though because Luigi’s Mansion uses no specific keys most of the time, the game has to tell the player what key goes with what door, or the player would have to painstakingly check every door), allowing them to also fit into the Maze-like genre.

I feel like, at this point, I’ve proven my point on what makes a maze-like what it is. Rather than it just being a 2D platform-adventure game that you gather keys in to open doors in order to progress, it’s instead an adventure game where there is no hub/overworld and the rest of the world is built on a maze-like structure where items are keys to opening doors throughout the world. But I feel I need to take this time to address two elephants in the room. One of them I’ve brought up, Metroid: Other M. This is NOT a maze-like. Other M took what made Metroid what it is, and stripped it all away for a story. The world was no longer maze-like, it was linear. Long halls with few or no branching paths, and if it did have one, it was usually something you accessed for an item to use on a door that was right in front of you and felt like a waste of time. Then it filled out your map at EVERY save spot and gave you the way point to the very next save spot to give you the next way point and so forth. How is that adventuring? How is that in anyway allowing the player to explore the world by trying to find the correct path? What’s worse, people went “YEAH THIS IS METROIDVANIA BECAUSE IT HAS PLATFORMING!” Which I’ve already pointed out isn’t a necessity of the maze-like. Which leads to the other elephant, there was an article created claiming that Metroid and Castlevania were not the same genre, but instead, Metroid is a platformer and Cstlevania was an RPG, and my rebuttal for this, how often do you redo a maze? I mean, after you get through it once, maybe twice for harder ones, how often can you keep going back through the maze knowing the exact path to do? Not that fun is it? Well developers of Metroid and Castlevania saw this and gave each of their games secondary genres in order to make them more replayable. For Metroid, the platforming allowed for a really enjoyable way to explore (and cheat the game). Speedrunners will use Metroid’s platforming to aid in their memory of the games maze. Castlevania’s RPG elements kept players coming back because of all the souls and items they can find and unlock and mess around with, while seeing what the game is like when you level up a lot. These elements aren’t the core behind the games or what puts them both into maze-likes. They are meant to be ways to keep the games interesting and replayable, and because players go back for these elements, they are often more focused on than the maze-like elements.

I think I’ve explained all I’ve needed to, and I suppose I even wrote this because of my deep love for this genre, and how tired I am of playing Zelda games with maze-like paint over them and maybe someone will read this and get a better understanding of what a maze-like is and create one closer to what Metroid is. Also so that Maze-like will start to be used because Metroidvania is not a good title for a genre.

And yes, before anyone says anything about it, I know Koji Igarashi based SotN on Zelda and not Metroid, but it still came out the way it did.