Vows for me ain't lying when I say
'That through any kind of weather I want to watch Karmaland'
But the truth is I don't know Spanish at all!
No I don't have time to learn it
In my schedule there's no room
But I still want to know what the hell is going on!
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"Stevie," Eddie says, wincing at the stale air in the room. It's almost pitch black, except for the lamp in the corner that colours everything dark blue, and the glow stars on the ceiling that they'd put up together, making pretend constellations in pretend galaxies.
"Go 'way," Steve mutters, head buried beneath two pillows and hands clasped tight around them, as though that will be the thing that fixes him, that keeps the bad away. Eddie sighs, not at Steve, but at the awfulness of it all. He fiddles with the blister pack in his fingers, and allows the condensation from the water bottle in his other hand to soak his palm.
"Please, baby," Eddie says. "You need to take your meds. The doctor said - "
"Fuck the doctor," Steve curses angrily, muffled.
"Maybe later, once you've taken your meds," Eddie says calmly, or aiming for calm. He hates seeing Steve hurting, and Steve hurts a lot. More than he'd like. More than he knows he realises.
Steve emerges from his pillow prison slowly, blinking like it hurts him to do so, and Eddie knows it does, so he just holds out the water bottle, cap off, and Steve drinks greedily, throat working hard, whilst Eddie pops out two pills. Steve makes a pitiful noise as Eddie hands them over, but reluctantly takes them, screwing up his eyes against the taste before swallowing down more water.
"You did so good," Eddie says. Steve shakes his head then moans. "It's okay," Eddie says. "Back under the pillows now. The pills will work soon."
"I hate this," Steve says. "I hate that you have to see this."
"I know you do. I hate seeing it. But only because it's my favourite person in the whole world suffering. Not for any other reason. Please don't think it's for any other reason," Eddie says softly. Steve makes a small noise, already piling the pillows back over his face. Eddie reaches out and strokes the back of his hand.
Steve's hands clench, then unclench, before relaxing.
"I'll be around, if you need me," Eddie says, before standing. He pauses at the door. He looks at Steve's prone form, the invisible war in his head. "It's not rotten work, you know? Never, actually."
He pulls the door to, but doesn't close it entirely, just to make sure he can hear Steve if he needs to. He never, ever wants Steve to think he's a burden. Not when he loves that boy more than breathing. Not if it's you, not if it's me.
not if it’s us
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I think Do Han is a really interesting character because he walks the line between selfish x assertive
I saw some people arguing the he is selfish because he left Ji Han behind and went to the US. Plus he made the contract with A Jeong even when it can fuck up her life. But I never considered this selfish acts but assertive ones? It is his life and he is living a toxic family dynamics. Yeah, it sucks that JH is in this situation but the fact is that he still also has the option to leave? DH does not want this life while JH wants it. Neither of them should shackle each other. The same way DH is not dragging JH out, JH should also not drag DH back. He should not live a lie for something he does not want. Plus with AJ it was a contract, he explained the risk to her until the point he knew but in the end this is a choice they made together.
Now, he is gonna have to make a choice when he finds out about DH and AJ being in love. Since this is a romance I believe eventually he will choose to give up on his fake marriage for their sake. However, if he choose to keep the fake marriage it will be a selfish act because this is something that he has direct control over. In this case he would be the one making both of them living a lie, over something that ultimately his happiness does not depend on? I mean, yeah the fake marriage is a solution he found. But since the beginning it was temporary and there are other paths he can take, are they harder? Yes. But they don't come at the cost of two people he deeply cares about.
And idk how to explain how this things are different between each other. But I guess it is a dilemma we queer people face a lot? Some of us back up from our families that is causing us pain but also we still want to be there with everything we love them. This is such a hard balance to fight and I don't think it is exclusive to queer people but is definitely a big part of our experience.
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Why do we have to learn a second foreign language? Sometimes a third? Aren't two languages enough? I mean, it's not like it's truly gonna stick or teach me something important:
Had French in school (class 6-9): Disaster. Was literally able to conjugate two verbs, only in present and only managed class because I wrote the texts at home and studied them. Tried to speak french with a friend who also had it. Were barely able to conjugate être and only sentence I know is "Je suis une baguette" and " Je ne parle pas français", the latter one only because a song in Germany exists thats title is literally this sentence.
After that I had spanish( class 10-12): Worked better, surprisingly, however don't ask me the difference between Imperfecto and Indefinido, I can't tell you. Can't hold a conversation for the love of god, but I can talk about illegal immigration in Spain and know the word for booze tourism.
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