#peacocks? it was weird and a one-time experience but not too crazy

[starkerscoop]

There was a bobcat in my backyard 😳

[asterekmess]

S3A - E8

I’m realizing just how damn far behind I am on working on season 3, but I don’t wanna skip any episodes of the rewatch, so let’s get to it! Double time, double time!

Content warnings for discussion of cannibalism.

Forewarning, this one is a doozy, so be prepared to Read More:

Lesgo!:

First thing’s first, Derek has experience with those awful sound thingies? Can you imagine how freaked he must’ve been seeing Chris bring those out when they were tracking Boyd and Erica?

Also, Chris Argent has been hunting Derek one way or another since he was a child. Even BEFORE Kate. Why the hell do we have a Derek & Chris broness in the later seasons? This kind of shit doesn’t just go away. I can’t believe I forgot about it.

I love how awkward sweet bby Derek is trying to run through the trees and tripping on branches everywhere. It’s honestly so much more realistic for a teenager than just the crazy cgi stuff. Also, since we know Derek is comfortable in the woods, it really gives you a hint as to how truly messed up he is from fear right now. He’s off balance in a dozen ways.

DEREK HAS BEEN WATCHING PEOPLE DIE IN FRONT OF HIM SINCE HE WAS 15. I’m gonna CRY. If I wanna hurt myself even More, you could argue that the Random Beta (RB) got shot bc he stopped to talk to Derek. So...guilty minds would assume Derek has been watching people die because of him since 15. I hate everything.

PETER comin’ in clutch. Also, hilarious that they use that arrow catching move so much.

I almost like how they tried to make Gerard look younger by just having him wear a douchey leather jacket instead of the serious grandpa one he wears in S2. He swaggers over to the body of RB, and it’s hilarious.

Okay, what is this bullshit about “Bring them back alive, we go by the code?” If you were going by the code then you wouldn’t be fucking hunting them AT ALL. They’re innocent! Why the fuck are you ‘bringing them back’ in the first place? Chris, you piece of shit. This is supposed to demonstrate that you’ve always been a stickler for the code, but all it does is emphasize how little that code actually means. “We hunt those who hunt us.” Fuck off, you hunt anything you deem ‘dangerous’ and find excuses to kill them so you can feel righteous.

Gonna casually note that RB was shot in the Throat with an arrow, but bc of makeup necessities they moved the arrow down to his chest when he’s shown on the ground. It’s funny. :)

It’s seriously so hard to hate Peter, do the writers realize that? Like, yes, he did horrible shit and I’m not denying that, but when you show him running into the hunter-filled woods to save his nephew’s life at 24 years old, then hiding with him in a cellar for two fucking days when he could probably have escaped on his own, it’s hard to see him as a heartless bastard.

I’m almost afraid to find out why Cora knows the details. Can you imagine? She would’ve been, what, 9-10? Her big brother and uncle both go missing for two days after a hunt and she had to stay at home waiting for someone to say they’d found their bodies. God, the lives of the Hales are so fucked up.

The rain is really making the mood here.

I gotta say, I’m confused about this initial Cora-Stiles interaction. He goes on about everyone who’s died or nearly died, but then Cora assumes he wants Derek to do something about the deaths, and Stiles agrees? Except that Derek currently fits the COD that all the other sacrifices have hit. Missing for about two days. Everything Stiles has said implies that he’s worried Derek is also dead. I don’t get why they go with ‘I’m worried about the missing man that I’ve been helping for the last four months because I blame him for the Alphas even coming to town”?

One thing they got on point here is just how disgusting they made Gerard. The slime and the spitting and ugh *shudders* it’s just so gross.

I’m also...I think intrigued is the right word--that they shoved this whole story into the episode without ever addressing the fact that Derek IS missing and they should go looking for him or something. It starts with Stiles asking where the hell he is, but then everything else is about this past moment. Talk about going off on a tangent. I mean, I don’t blame them, but if I shoved this much character background into one chapter people would call me out for the infodump that it is.

Which is all this episode is. Info-dumped exposition. Here’s how werewolves were made. Here’s why Derek’s cranky. Here’s why Duke’s an asshole. Here’s why the Hales are ‘special’

Again, I don’t blame them. It’s just...a lot.

Just a tiny thing: Why do they both roll up their sleeves when Scott only has to touch Gerard’s hand?

It is also very hard to believe that either Allison or Scott are remotely good people when they’re both lying to everyone about Gerard’s existence.

*finger guns, bc now i have to use the tag* I think this is the longest I’ve ever gotten before using it.

Another thing: Why does Gerard make the gross noises like he’s in pain, when we know it doesn’t hurt to get the pain taken away from him? It certainly didn’t hurt that lady in the ER.

I know this is a weird thing to notice, but I find it interesting that Paige is wearing actual makeup. Not just the ‘natural’ look, but eyeshadow that’s visibly dark. *shrug*

Is she Actually playing the cello? The notes Don’t look like they match up with her bowing and fingerings.

HA that music cut in is fucking Hilarious. Derek turns around like he’s in a teen rom-com, with that casual “I never stop smiling all the way bc I’m the coolest guy around” grin and the music just WHAM. That’s right, Derek Hale used to be a JOCK. He didn’t used to be ‘a lot like Scott.’ He was a lot like JACKSON.

So, this group of cronies Derek has. What is that about? He’s gotta have that posse just like Jackson did in S1? Unnamed people to cackle at his jokes.

Paige’s face, right there? That is the SHIT for me. That’s not hidden attraction, that’s genuinely “What the fuck is my life, why are you so lame?” and I am LIVING for it.

Derek peacocking is also hilarious. Peacocking so hard he (THE WEREWOLF) didn’t notice that she’d left the hall, is even more so.

I hate to tell you this Paige, but THAT is where I could tell you liked him. Giving in to his bullshit offer was the first step, that look on your face when he said, “Hold on” was Blatant “Holy shit, my crush wants to talk to me” but then all you idiots did was make eye contact. Paige, if you’re trying to get the ball, try looking away from those pretty eyes, okay?

Derek, you always go too far. You can see Paige lose interest when she realizes that he’s not actually into Her, he’s into showing off.

OOOF, i guess they weren’t such good friends after all, cus’ they left when Paige did.

I also feel the need to point out Derek is WEARING A CHECKERED SHIRT. *inarticulate screaming* Everyone who makes jokes about him thinking plaid is disgusting owes me five bucks bc he CLEARLY didn’t think checkers/plaid were that bad when he was in high school.

I’ll admit...the instant sorry is like...really good. If they’d had him come in and be More of a dick and then end up together, I’d be a lot more bugged. But his First real introduction to her is an apology.

THEN he goes back to being a dick. But at least this time it’s not about him, he wants to know about Her.

And I LOVE the turnaround! THIS is flirting. THIS is cute teasing. She plays his game Back at him, shows her own skill and forces him to get on her level. Then he weasels out of it, but in a Cute Way.

If there’s one thing that I’m routinely impressed by in TW it’s the scoring. They’re Really good with music to fit the moods and the vibes of the whole episode. For instance, all the transition music in this episode is Cello, bc it’s about Paige.

I hate agreeing with Gerard on Anything, but he makes a good point about the Dark Druid taking and killing someone else right alongside Deaton. Why would she take 4 people when she only needed three? She wouldn’t know that Deaton got a message out or that Scott would save Deaton. Plus the addition of the mountain ash circle is kind of weird, don’t you think?

Yah, I have no clue why your body is producing anything Either. You literally make no sense and you shouldn’t be alive. Period. Bringing you back was a lazy way to have someone who could be a sub-sub plot and hand out exposition and red herrings that are totally useless.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT GERARD? You weren’t There when Deucalion found out he could still see with his Alpha Eyes (Which makes no sense btw, he doesn’t have TWO sets of eyes???) and if you’d interacted with Deuc since then he’d have ripped you to shreds.

SERIOUSLY people, why the FUCK are we getting this information from Gerard when it makes WAY more sense for Deaton to tell them this? He was THERE for the whole thing!

I get that the point of the episode is supposed to be “Unreliable Narrators” (The whole show has an unreliable narrator.) but you had that covered with Peter’s story. You could’ve Instilled TRUST in Deaton by making a contrast and having Deaton TELL THEM THE TRUTH. Show the difference between reliable and unreliable. Gerard doesn’t need to be here!

Stiles, asking the real questions.

AND GETTING THE MOST BULLSHIT ANSWER IN THE UNIVERSE.

Could these writers GET any lazier? Put some fucking effort in and give us some information about Werewolves IN YOUR WEREWOLF TV SHOW.

What the fuck were Paige and Derek into that they knew where an abandoned distillery was when it wasn’t even in TOWN? And you’re telling me they left town every time they wanted to make out? Even worse, are you implying they had SEX in that distillery? And then trying to tell me that none of the fucking Alphas and their packs noticed the smell of Derek and his girlfriend all over the building?

...what...do people seriously not remember being teenagers? What the fuck Peter? In what fucking universe  is “one minute it’s ‘i hate you, don’t talk to me’ the next it’s frantic groping in any dark corner’ remotely accurate to real life?

Teenagers in the majority don’t DO that. I really fucking hate that all teenagers are made out to be like this. Like they’re “run by their hormones” and “everything is sex to you” STOP. Seriously, STOP. Saying shit like that completely negates the fact that Teenagers are Real fucking People. They’re not just buckets of hormones and sweat that need to be shaped into an adult. They’re fucking PEOPLE and reducing them to sex-crazed idiots is lazy and stupid.

Are you ALSO telling me that the hunters dragged RB’s DEad Body to an abandoned building, then strung the corpse up and cut it in half? AND that someone happened to go the abandoned building and found the body and called the cops, or that they MOVEd the two halves somewhere they would be found, Or that They were the ones to call and report the body?

Has teen wolf got even a Single brain cell?

ALSO, what the fuck is this timeline? Derek and Peter went missing for two days after RB was killed, but the packs don’t get together to discuss RB’s death until After Derek has run out of the building with Paige because he could smell blood from RB being hemisected. So, they waited at Least two days before talking to each other about RB’s death? And Derek apparently recovered Instantaneously from his two day nightmare and went right back to macking on his girlfriend and laughing freely the Day he was found? Or did they wait even longer? I’m so fucking confused!

Okay, you tell me that this place is their favorite makeout/groping spot, but they seriously just walk in the door and start kissing in the middle of the room? You guys didn’t bring some blankets and pillows here? You’re gonna stand there the whole time?

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING PETER A PERVERT? He was fucking watching his nephew make out with his girlfriend through the wall??? WHat is WRONG with you?

ALSO, Cora was alive and active in Derek’s life at that point. She wasn’t That young. She could easily point out that Peter being Derek’s best friend is total bullshit if it weren’t actually true. Which means Peter is telling the TRUTH here. Hell, she doesn’t call out his heartbeat for lies the entire time, and while they imply at the end of the episode that Really Good Liars can just force their heart to be steady while lying so they don’t get caught, that isn’t a thing for the entire rest of the show. Derek trusts KATE when she says she’s not lying. So the evidence actually points toward Peter telling the TRUTH in this entire episode.

THAT is accurate to teenagers. Using the word “like” and “liking” so many times in a conversation that it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore.

Paige...dude, I’m so torn. Like I’m glad you’re being honest with Derek about your worries, but also it’s a complete dick move to just Assume that he’s gonna bail? To say to his face that you Know he’s leaving you and you’re just waiting for it? Fucking rude.

Ennis...bro...how exactly did your Beta “Accidentally” kill a hunter? How would that happen?

AGAIN WITH THE TIMELINE. If the packs only CAME to beacon hills because of Ennis issue with the hunters, why was RB running through beacon hills when he was killed?

Also, side note: Where are all of these werewolves staying? Are they territorial so they like, all claimed different hotels to take over? Or do they not mind, and THAT’S why the Hale house is so big for such a small family? Because they had a ton of guest rooms for packs that visited to get that sweet, sweet Hale Wisdom?

I firmly believe that werewolves are clothing-optional people. Talia straight shifts into a naked human form in front of over a dozen other wolves.

Also, where the hell is the Hale pack here? Some random chick comes up and gives Talia a robe, but that person is standing with Deuc’s pack. So....what?

I’m so curious about the formation the wolves make when they hear Talia coming. Everybody backs away, except Deucalion. And they do this weird focus on his face as he watches her come in. And her eye contact is JUST with him.

OH GROSS. DID DEUC HAVE A THING FOR DEREK’S MOM????

I will admit that watching things with subtitles sometimes ruins the surprise. There’s that little pause before “I’m just a deputy” like it was supposed to be shocking to the audience, but the subtitle on Amazon Prime just Pops up right away and it kind of ruins the effect.

Here we go! The one piece of concrete information on “Packs” and “pack members” that we’re given in the whole fucking show. Word for Word. “Losing a member of your pack isn’t like losing family, it’s like you lose a limb.”

That is....severe. Now imagine that your entire family IS your pack. And losing almost every one of them. Is it any wonder that Cora, Peter, and Derek are so messed up? That they’re so dark and wounded looking?

I s2g sometimes Peter literally just sounds like he’s a self-insert for the writers. He explains shit that the writer’s are showing Really Badly as if to wave away the fact that the Ennis flashback is pretty much Completely unnecessary. “You just don’t understand my artistic genius, it’s never just a single moment, it’s a confluence of events. I have to show you all these random flashbacks because you need to understand why Derek is soaked in MANPAIN all the time. Which is totally relevant to the current plot bc....bc....bc ART (and also Tyler Hoechlin was busy so we could only get one shot of him for the entire episode)”

That is just the cutest shit oh my god. Derek listens to Paige’s music while he’s in class and doing homework. THAT is love, you realize? He doesn’t just deal with her dedication to her music, he loves it.

THat little wince when he says “Are you sure about that?” Paige knows he’s gonna screw with her.

THAT IS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. He gives her space! She likes studying during lunch so he Leaves her Alone. I LIKE IT.

What do you mean “Laura told you about the packs being here.” Derek KNOWS they’re here because he watched RB DIE IN THE WOODS. Seriously, I”M SO CONFUSED.

FUN FACT (that I might’ve already shared) Oak wood was liked by the Celts because it was really sturdy and hardy and bore food, but it wasn’t their favorite type of wood! Rowan was the favorite, and Irish pagan practitioners used to sleep in rowan trees so they could have prophetic dreams. After that, it was Hazelwood. :P

I...do not enjoy when they bring up the Celtic Druids. *Scuttles to get my textbook bc this is my nerd shit*

“We’re in a Nemeton” This is the correct wording, actually! A “Nemeton” isn’t a thing, it’s a “sacred meeting place” as Chris calls it. Go chris! Nemeton refers to the entire grove/area around the main tree.

I can’t speak to whether they chose a ‘Large, older tree in a grove” but it does make sense bc if we’re talking about Oaks they were a symbol of food and safety (acorns were a staple to Celtic diets) so choosing an older tree would not only look more impressive, but it would probably bear more acorns for the clan.

“It would represent the center of the world” *Puts on vine voice* THat is NOt Correct! The tree at the center of the Nemeton was called a “crann bethadh” or “Tree of Life” and it was essentially a Totem that marked the center of the tribe’s territory. It was not ‘the center of the world’ it was the center of THEIR world. Their land.

“There was a belief that cutting or harming the tree would cause serious problems for the surrounding villages” Not sure if ‘villages’ is the correct term for the era, but the rest of it sounds like a close mistranslation. See, in Ireland there were raids people would do against other clans where the SOLE PURPOSE was to destroy their crann bethadh, because it was demoralizing. It’s like graffiti-ing the front of a church. But technically, it WAS severely frowned upon to harm the tree in any way.

This is mostly because in most Celtic areas, Oak trees were considered symbols of the “Father of the Sky” or the “God of Thunder.” Of course you don’t wanna piss off Thunder man.

Also, you notice how I’m saying CELTS and not DRUIDS. It’s because DRUID isn’t a cultural label, it’s a SOCIAL CLASS. It’s like saying “The Educated”

Okay, back to the--OH WAIT. Before anyone gets any ideas, the blood on the crann bethadh isn’t human. Estonian Celts smeared animal blood on the tree roots as an assurance for rain and good harvests. This is the same concept as TONS of other religions, including Christianity. (Abraham was supposed to sacrifice his son, Isaac, to God, but God stopped him and had him sacrifice a Ram instead. So, Yes. Christians used to perform animal sacrifices.)

NOW back to the show.

THe fact that gerard doesn’t know this stuff implies that Chris is the nerd of the family.

I LIKE THIS. I hate that I like it bc it’s Gerard, but I LIKE IT. Gerard gets up from his wheelchair. He doesn’t need it All the Time.

I’ve never seen another show that bothered to have a wheelchair user who wasn’t wheelchair-bound, which is stupid because it’s Very Common for people using wheelchairs to not need them all the time.

though it does beg the question of why he’s sitting in a wheelchair when he’s in his own bedroom? Was he going somewhere? Or did he know he wouldn’t have enough chairs and didn’t want Allison or Scott to sit in his chair?

The story of Lycaon, who was considered a savage ruler of Arcadia and Zeus went to his house disguised as a human (this is v common in myth) to find out if he was batshit. Lycaon and his FIFTY SONS (he also had one daughter) wanted to know if the stranger was a human or a mortal, so they fed him human flesh in stew. Zeus flipped shit and blasted the room with thunderbolts, murdering all but one of Lycaon’s sons, and then turned Lycaon into a wolf.

So...this whole ‘myth of lycaon’ is totally fucked up when it didn’t need to be? Like, they didn’t NEED to change it to make it a messed up origin story of wolves. It already was.

There’s three major versions to choose from

Lycaon was a pius man who founded the city of Lycosura on Mount Lycaeus and used a child as a sacrifice to Zeus, thinking it would please him. Zeus flips shit and turns Lycaon into a wolf. FROM THEN ON; at every sacrifice made to zeus a man was transformed into a wolf and if he managed to restrain himself from eating human flesh for 8-9 years, he would be turned human again.

The same story as the first, except Lycaon Knew Zeus was in disguise and the child he fed him was Zeus’ own son, and it was revenge for seducing his only daughter Callisto.

If you want to make it match what you’ve already said about wolves in the show, they could’ve used the last one and it would’ve demonstrated how Ingrained the concept of vendetta/revenge is for wolves.

If you wanted to focus on the Turning Human part and working with Celtic Druids to learn to become werewolves, you could’ve used the second one.

there was no reason to add in the bullshit about Prometheus except as an excuse to make Deucalion look like he picked his name to be an asshole, which he fucking didn’t.

 I’m so sorry about all the classical shit (i’m really not) but I studied it in college and I can’t just let this bullshit stand.

I’ll give them a pass on the ‘the lesser known part’ bc it’s technically plausible for the wolves to have run north to the Celts and beg for help, And the Druids (those who’s education was specifically in magic, not all of them) were known for shapeshifting (though not usually into animals. They did that to Other people, not themselves)

I cannot believe this is so long, i’m so sorry.

But WHY tho, Cora? How is an Emissary supposed to keep you connected to humanity if No ONe KNows Who They Are?? How are they supposed to do their job??

Yeah, well now Deaton is a sour bitch who has a chip on his shoulder against the Hale pack so like...fuck his advice.

I will say though! Pre-fire Deaton doesn’t give me the heebies like post-fire Deaton. He’s much more clear about the advice he’s giving, and it’s actually helpful! He still has a dumb little anecdote/parable about the scorpion and the frog (which...in most circumstances I hate. It doesn’t even match what happens) but he gives Real Advice instead of vague asshole nonsense.

“I’m an Alpha, I never walk alone.” I have an inordinate affection for this line.

Paige is clearly some kinda bad bitch if she thought nothing of going to hang out in the school in the middle of the night with Derek.

Okay, but like...why would he attack Ennis like that if he was the one who asked him to bite Paige? And why is the moment played up “A fifteen-year-old boy against a giant” Derek was literally swatted to the side while Ennis walked out of the building. this wasn’t some big showdown.

If she’d already been bitten, why was Ennis still grabbing at her??

....seriously? Peter is literally right there? And no one noticed?

Again with the “Scott is a genius now” LIsten, bro, why the fuck would Scott know a sanskrit fable? If he Did know a story like that, it would be bc Deaton taught him. In which case he would know the FROG and the scorpion. Come on, guys.

OH MY GOD GERARD DOES IT TOO. GERARD, PETER, AND DEUC all have a CHRONIC case of verbal diarrhea when they’re trying to be intimidating.

I do NOT understand this warehouse scene. It’s a GAS gerard, if you stabbed yourself with some sort of...antidote or whatever it wouldn’t save you from the GAS you’re inhaling. At the very least you would be shouting like everyone else because it HURTS going in.

why did it take so long for Talia to come? It’s implied that Peter left to get her, so why did it take so long? Even PAST peter looks fucked up at seeing that Paige is dying, it’s not like he would wait.

I’ll be real, i get weepy so i’m skipping the actual death. Just know that it hurts me. Severely.

Y’all know how much I hate this ‘innocent life’ bullshit for blue eyes. It’s very True Alpha-y in that it’s impossible to pin down the specifics. What constitutes an ‘innocent life’? What constitutes taking it? With wolf claws? With a gun? What counts and what doesn’t count? Ugh.

Eyyy, so I’m exhausted and this is so long that my computer is fritzing. There are five minutes left and nothing happens in them at all. Just Scott pointing out the heartbeat thing and threatening to kill Gerard (so he’s still fine with murder at this point in time. Good to know). Stiles telling Cora that he doesn’t think Peter was telling the truth (which she would Know if he wasn’t) and that he’s gonna ask Derek about it (which we never got to see). And Deucalion murdering his own Beta (who, tbf, tried to kill him first. Which, again, what the fuck is up with Deaton’s office that wolves are able to rip each other apart in it, but it’s still ‘hard for someone like Scott to cause me any trouble.’ I’m just so confused

Final Thoughts: This episode actually had some interesting stuff in it, which is kind of sad considering there was no PLOT, just Exposition. I look forward to tweezing the bits out that I want and dumping the rest in the garbage where it belongs. Oh, and like I said, the music was on Point.

[littleferal]

You learn to be really careful about casual statements around pretty Whiskey. You mention you’d always wanted to learn to play the piano, and there’s a massive piano in your living room the next day. You have a craving for Chinese food and Whiskey hands you tickets he booked to China (for use after the quarantine is over 😬) You wear his leather jacket too many times and get gifted your own. You put your wishlists on private when he buys everything on them for your birthday. He still finds them

2/ You're 65% sure pretty Whiskey keeps a list of your sizes and preferences somewhere and you would be 100% right. He didn't buy the right gifts/got the wrong sizes in the beginning of your relationship and doesn't want to go through that embarassment again. He keeps a list of your sizes, likes, dislikes and future gift ideas and goes crazy trying to hide its existence from you. It might edge into creepy behavior and he wants to seem like he's just naturally this good at buying you things.

3/ While things are usually pretty lovey dovey between the reader and pretty Whiskey, I think they would have friction with Jack trying to replace stuff she's bought herself like her car with newer models. And maybe some insecurity with feeling unequal/worried he might want someone who's comfortable with finer things or can treat HIM. With him, it's a fun game to sneak her gifts, but it stings that he wants to shower her with physical signs of his love that she's always on the verge of rejecting

4/ Pretty Whiskey is interested in building a home for the two of you to live in and while part of you is like, this is going to be so painfully expensive, how can I make him calm down, there’s another part of you that realizes-OMG I can have a house with a secret room, with a koi pond, with a moat, with peacocks running around, and any other over the top dream you’d ever had in your life. That side ends up winning out and Jack builds the most eclectic, interesting, beautiful ranch for you two.

1/ nonnie i do want to learn to play the piano and someone take me to chine yes please. but i want his jacket for reasons. so he’s gonna find that jacket he got you still in the closest and his missing on so many occasions

2/ oh but that’s just trying to get things right! I don’t think it’s creepy if that’s the reason it’s cute. though admittedly finding that list might throw you for a loop there for a bit 3/ oh for sure, it takes practice to find the balance of how they both express love. And he just doesn’t get it, because money is how you get things and even if he’s not trying to buy your love now he still doesn’t know how to woo you so he falls back onto that. There’s going to have to be an adult conversation™ about this at some point for it to work. If we’re being angsty let’s say it’s after the breakup and how you get back together. Which was a weird experience because this is before you have your first proper night together and you hadn’t thought of yourselves as dating so why does it suddenly feel like that’s what it was? And the way he comes back to you, all soft eyes and not a single gift in hand is enough you hear him out. 4/ as long as he lets me be part of that I’m totally game. like seriously I’m a practical person I want to plan out the garden and pave and stuff. Imma give you a personal story - growing up my mum had this one obscenely rich friend who lived in an old ass basically mansion that still had all the servant staircases. I’m talking secret stairs behind bookcases and in the wall and stuff and as a kid I adored that, felt like I was living in the secret garden whenever we visited. So yes. Give me secret stairs and rooms and stuff like that, I live for it! Also as someone who lives near someone with a single peacock I need you to think this through, the bastards are loud. But otherwise 110% yes, I want a ranch in the middle of nowhere!!!

[pcttrailsidereader]

The Scariest Encounters Women Have on the Trail are with Men

One of the more chilling episodes in Wild was when Cheryl Strayed encountered two hunters in Central Oregon, one of whom made her rightfully uncomfortable . . . “She’s got a really nice figure, don’t she?” the sandy-haired man said. “Healthy, with some soft curves. Just the kind I like.”  And it got worse.  In the end, she was able to extricate herself but not without considerable anxiety.

Natasha Carver in “Walking Down a Dream” from The Pacific Crest Trailside Reader: California shares a story of camping near a road.  A car stops late at night.  Natasha and her hiking partner feel very exposed and very vulnerable. Indeed, the scariest encounters women have on the trail are with men.

This article, taken from the Daily Beast, focuses on the AT . . . but, in general, the issues are . . . sadly . . . the same.

By Melanie Hamlett, the Daily Beast

As a 30-year-old nurse who works with terminally ill patients, Julia (who prefers to remain anonymous) asked herself one day what she would be proud of doing if she too were given a diagnosis of only six months to live. Shortly after, she left Pittsburgh to start hiking the 2,190-mile Appalachian Trail—a highly coveted peacock feather in the cap of outdoor adventurers. But this epic odyssey from Georgia to Maine proved to be far more challenging for Julia and over a dozen women interviewed for this piece because of one factor.

Their being female.

It’s no surprise women experience annoyances like casual or even outright sexism in the outdoor adventure world, but on the Appalachian Trail some are facing more traumatizing problems like stalking, sexual harassment, and even assault. Last May, the unthinkable happened—a brutal murder.

People had been warning local officials for six weeks about James Jordan, a violent “fight angel” who is currently being tried for murder in Virginia. In April numerous hikers reported disturbing behavior, including being verbally assaulted by Jordan and even threatened with a machete. He was later arrested on multiple charges, including possession of weed, and was ordered to stay off the trail. In May he returned anyway and allegedly threatened to pour gasoline on four campers and burn them alive in their tents.

He later chased two of them down the trail before finally giving up. When he returned, he allegedly stabbed Richard S. Sanchez Jr. to death, then chased Sanchez’s female hiking partner down the trail and stabbed her. She only survived because she played dead, then ran down the trail for help once he left. Jordan was found and taken into custody early the next morning. This tragedy became a traumatizing reminder that even in a majestic wilderness sanctuary like the Appalachian Trail, America is a violent, scary country, especially for women.

As a frequent solo traveler and former professional wilderness guide, I’m a huge advocate of women exploring the world, especially alone. It’s empowering as hell. I’ve never let fear (or too many episodes of Law and Order SVU) deter me from solo adventures. The point of telling the following stories isn’t to scare anyone off the trail but rather to educate women on how to protect themselves and to ask should-be male allies to stop turning a blind eye. Until the outdoor industry, which prides itself on being quite woke-ish, is ready for its own #MeToo reckoning, women won’t feel safe.

“Women have no way of knowing who will be the next James Jordan versus who’s just an awkward dude or entitled asshole.”

The Appalachian Trail is a microcosm of American culture but with far higher stakes. Statistically, women are way safer on the trail than on college campuses or in even their own homes. There’s only one rape reported (....reported) every few years on the trail and the chance of getting murdered there is 1,000 times less than in America as a whole. And yet, the absence of deadbolts to lock oneself behind or of multiple witnesses around to deter violent men from attacking us means the occasional trail creeper can be a million times scarier and more dangerous. The only thing protecting a woman alone in a tent from that sketchy stranger she previously encountered on the trail or the seemingly cool one she’s been hiking with for weeks is a thin piece of nylon. “I physically ran into a bear,” says Julia, “and I’d take that over running into a crazy drunk dude any day.”

Despite having overwhelmingly great experiences with trail men, all of the women I spoke with encountered men, especially older white ones, who either made sexist, condescending comments or made them feel unsafe. “I even got ‘smile more,’” Julia says. “It’s exhausting.”

Surprisingly, even woke-ish/feminist-type men creeped many of these women out. Julia said one of her first hiking partners, who seemed progressive, asked to rub her legs. Later, another one repeatedly hit on her and made her feel unsafe. The other guys in her group eventually sided with her and ditched him, but only after she showed enough evidence, like his unnerving texts. The men just didn’t see it, she says. “I’m thinking, how the fuck do you not see this guy is a creep?” Later, while hiking alone, a random guy aggressively probed her about where she was going and who she was with, then found her 200 miles down the trail and threatened to come into the women’s tents while they slept.

Hilary York, a 30-year-old piano technician from Denver, felt a bit gaslit by should-be allies. There were only three men who made her really uncomfortable during her 2,190 mile trek, two of them sketchy enough to scare even the men away. But the third was “your standard hippie type” who undressed her with his eyes and was clearly looking to hook up. When she told her guy friends he made her uncomfortable, they thought she was being dramatic and overly sensitive. Her female friends, on the contrary, unanimously agreed he was creepy. “I think the most frustrating thing is having your intuition downplayed,” says York. Which is why she turned to Facebook.

Most people go into the woods hoping to escape the traps of modern life, especially social media, yet women on the trail don’t always have that luxury. York says an Appalachian Trail group for women on Facebook has become a priceless space that helps women feel as comfortable, safe, and empowered as possible. The moderators are careful not to allow any man-bashing or vague accusations.

As a woman who’s worked almost exclusively in male-dominated industries, namely the outdoors, comedy, and film, I too have relied on whisper networks to feel safe, which is what this women’s FB group does. York says this group was quite critical in getting important information out about James Jordan when rangers couldn't. Oddly enough, the FBI is in charge of crimes committed on the AT because it’s administered by the National Park Service. Some hikershave criticized the FBI for failing to warn or protect everyone from a man they knew was dangerous.

There are a lot of men out there scaring the shit out of women in other ways, which is why we need men to be more thoughtful, pay attention, and be better allies. The stakes are too high in the woods. Women have no way of knowing who will be the next James Jordan versus who’s just an awkward dude or entitled asshole and relatively harmless. Women have to assume the worst.

Since York hiked with a man and has a solid poker face, she felt lucky compared to the “kinder-faced, solo female hikes.” Kristin Forster, a 28-year-old pastry chef living in Hamburg, Germany, had previous experiences with a stalker on the PCT (Pacific Crest Trail), so she knew how to handle sketchy dudes—be nice and calm but don’t answer their questions. But stranger danger wasn’t her problem in the end.

“Other hikers along the way also promised to back Cowan up and help her. But when it came to actually doing anything, none stepped up.”

For eight weeks Forster hiked with a trail partner who seemed chill and supportive. Being on the trail, she says, means you get closer to people faster, especially during extreme weather situations. Like me and my coworkers when I guided on the trail, Forster and her hiking partner would have to snuggle to warm up on brutally cold, rainy days. During one of these times, she felt his dick in her back. “That’s when it got weird.” She doesn’t blame him for getting a boner at all. But when she casually reminded him that she had a boyfriend back home, he flipped a switch and started mocking her and being super mean. She eventually left him because he made the trail so intolerable for her.

Beth, a 39-year-old consultant who’d rather remain anonymous to protect her safety, hiked with a seemingly cool guy for 10 days before he started to attach himself to her “like glue,” hovering over her constantly, even when she needed alone time. She tried to hike ahead several times, but he’d always catch up. After Beth reminded him she was in a committed relationship with a guy back home, he started making comments on her appearance and how attractive she was.

One day he walked up on her changing clothes in one of the shelters, despite her warning him, saw her full frontal naked, then got defensive that she was upset. “I was completely humiliated yet I convinced myself it wasn’t a big deal,” she says. She eventually decided to ditch him for good. Afraid of his reaction to feeling rejected, Beth waited until they were at a hostel in town with the safety of people around to break the news. “His face literally blackened.”

She felt safe once the trail logs were showing him 2-3 days ahead of her. Then she ran into him. He admitted he’d seen her name registered at a hostel and had taken a “zero” day (zero miles) to wait for her. Panicked, she ran after another guy hiking by, told him she was being stalked, and asked if he’d let her hike with him for a bit. Her stalker passed them shortly thereafter and was never seen again. Beth and her new hiking partner, who became a dear friend, hiked all the way to Maine together.

“As women we are programmed to be nice and polite,” she says, “and I actually found it harder to advocate for myself because I had gotten to know this guy.” Other men have since tried to attach themselves to her on long-distance hikes, but she’s learned how to protect herself sooner. “A lot of men on the trail are desperately lonely and will prey on women who come across as sweet and compliant,” she says. Especially if you don’t set firm boundaries out of the gate.

Jessica Cowan, a 38-year-old freelancer from Ohio, set out on the AT alone, assuming she’d find a “tramily” (trail family) like everyone talks about. But she never quite fell in with a group hiking her pace. When she met her stalker, who we’ll call Doc, he seemed charming, generous, and cool. Although she made it clear she had a boyfriend and wasn’t looking for a trail fling or a relationship change, he eventually started to express interest and asked about her relationship. “I found his behaviors really, really creepy, but when I talk about it, nothing I say sounds incredibly creepy,” she says. “I don’t know if it's an overreaction on my part… or if I’m gaslighting myself.” She was even hesitant to use the word stalking when telling this horrific story.

When crashing in shelters, he’d try to scoot his mat next to hers to sleep, wouldn’t avert his eyes when she announced she was changing, and even got caught staring at her when she was using a privy one day. After seeing Doc go on some hostile rants over the smallest things, she knew he was truly unstable. It was another woman briefly hiking with them, a psychologist, who helped her realize he was obsessed with her and that she needed to get a lot of miles ahead of him.

After that, Cowan tried everything to keep distance from Doc. She “slack-packed” (paying someone to drive her gear up the road), pushed her body to the limit, day after day, and even bought a new tent with wildly different colors to camouflage herself. Whenever she thought she was far enough ahead of him, another hiker would say he was nearby. Doc eventually caught up to her at a hostel after paying someone to drive him up the road.

Cowan finally filed a police report so they’d at least have him on their radar. Hostel workers promised her not to welcome him, but in the end, only one kept his word. The rest gave him the benefit of the doubt. Cowan thinks it was just easier to take his money. Other hikers along the way also promised to back Cowan up and help her. But when it came to actually doing anything, none stepped up. Despite her having mostly pleasant encounters with men on the trail, their blind-eye approach was disappointing. “I think a lot of men are guilty of taking that path of least resistance.”

Cowan did keep her boyfriend, Cowboy Knueve, apprised of the situation the whole time. “You have no idea how much sleep I lost,” he says. “I was sitting home worrying about her and this asshat.” Right after Cowboy dropped her off at the beginning of her hike, James Jordan murdered one hiker and wounded another on the trail in Virginia. “I knew how important this whole thing was for her,” he says. “It just pissed me off that he ruined her trip.” Even though Cowan told him she had it handled, Knueve finally drove 700 miles to make sure.

Knueve stayed with Cowan at night and ran shuttles for fellow hikers during the day while she hiked. He says he met at least a half a dozen women who’d done a lot of night hiking and “busted their ass” to get away from this same guy. Cowan and Kneuve tried to warn everyone about Doc.

One day they actually saw him at a campsite, so Knueve decided to confront him. Having googled the guy, he knew he was a multiple felon and had been charged for unlawful imprisonment of a woman. “I wanted to spray the man and kick him until he’s tired…. but I didn’t want to go to jail.” Instead he told Doc he knew he was stalking women and harshly warned him to stay away.

“If anyone fucks with me on the trail this year, I’m gonna punch you in the fucking face and carry the fuck on.”

Before leaving to go home, Kneuve drove Cowan 200 miles up the road to give her a safe distance from Doc. Shortly after, though, they picked up another hitchhiker and she was running away from Doc. That’s when Cowan realized this just wasn’t fun anymore. “I should only have to worry about where I’m getting water and where I’m gonna sleep,” she says. “Not if he’s gonna turn up.” She made it a few hundred miles farther, but finally gave up. Instead of enjoying any hard-earned sense of accomplishment or pride for hiking one thousand miles, Cowan couldn't feel excited about her milestones. It all seemed pointless. “I felt like I was running for my life every day.”

“I encountered a lot of promises of support that didn’t really hold up. Except for my boyfriend, I didn’t see anyone else confronting him or calling him on his bullshit. I think they all just wanted to stay away,” she says. “Especially after the murder.” She’s still amazed that one man could affect hundreds of miles of hiking for so many people. More than anything, Cowan hopes this story will lead to men stepping up. Or at the very least, believing women.

Having solo hiked the Appalachian Trail before, Missy Barger went into her 2019 hike already prepared to play by different rules than men have to. “We have to be hyper aware, but also not jump to any conclusions,” says the 49-year-old photographer from Boston. She watches men closely but plays it cool, never giving them hugs or smiling too much. “And men?” she laughs “Well, they... just get to hike!” Being older, more experienced on the AT and more confident than a lot of her twentysomething female peers, she knows she’s regarded as “one tough motherfucker.” That usually “keeps guys off” her. And yet, despite all this, even Barger ended up with a stalker.

She’d been camping right down the road when the murder happened, so she was even more careful this year. “An odd person doesn’t strike me as different. We’re all odd… cuz we’re out here,” Barger says. But when a guy, who we’ll call Bear, started going on aggressive political rants and undressing in front of her, she knew it was time to bounce. The next day he popped up on her path and wouldn’t let her through. When he appeared a third time and started to verbally assault her, she and her “tramily” hiked four hours in the middle of the night in the pouring rain to get away. They later reported him to the Appalachian Trail Conservancy (ATC).

In the end, Barger had to skip the whole state of New Jersey and half of New York to get away from Bear, but she went back and completed that section later. This detour and return trip cost her nearly $600. Whether it’s the actual price of shuttles, extra nights in hostels, a new tent to camouflage yourself or the emotional burden of fearing for your life, the “female tax” is a hefty one, even in the woods.

Luckily, Barger found great male allies, like Eric Bellavance. This 51-year-old heavy equipment mechanic from Boston and trail vet waited to pursue a romantic relationship with Barger until after they completed the trail. One way he believes men can be supportive of women is to use more self-restraint than they might back home. “You want to be extra aware of being creepy. It’s that simple,” he says. “If they’re whipping off their clothes, just turn away and start doing stuff,” he says. Give them their privacy and space when they need it, keep your distance, and don’t touch them, he says. While Bellavance thinks most thru-hikers, by a certain point, become acclimated on how to interact with women and not freak them out, there are still those who do whatever they want because “it’s kinda lawless” on the trail. “They’re out here because society won’t tolerate their behavior back home,” he says. “We’re all out here because we don’t fit in society.” But this lack of social codes and rules is exactly why women need men to be more careful and step up.

Bellavance says some day-hikers and locals will hang out on the trail and wait for solo women to pass by, just to prey on them. Warning others or reporting them to authorities is one thing men can do. Sometimes he says hikers have to take trail justice into their own hands, though. Last year a section-hiker touched a woman in her sleep at one of the backpacker hostels, so Bellavance and his friend tracked him down and threatened to kick his ass if he did it again. When another male hiker exposed himself to a woman on the trail, Bellavance welcomed her to hike with them.

“We are asking men in the outdoor industry to listen, believe us, step up, and use your privilege to call out other men.”

“I look at it this way—it’s already hard enough, women don’t need any shit from men.” Bellavance lets spooked women latch onto him when they need to since women are way less likely to be approached by a guy when they’re already with one. He never asks women for their phone numbers, real names (most go by a trail name), or social media handles because he knows men are harassing and stalking women online too. When Barger hikes solo, a lot of men ask to be snapchat friends. “Fuck, I just want to hike,” she says. “I have to have extra guardrails up when I post on social media.”

In general, Barger has run out of patience for men’s bullshit. “If anyone fucks with me on the trail this year, I’m gonna punch you in the fucking face and carry the fuck on.” She refuses to be scared off by men and encourages other women not to be either. To help protect current and future female hikers, Barger is very active on FB groups.

Unfortunately, those groups aren’t always safe either.

Shilletha Curtis, a writer from Newark, New Jersey, plans to hike the entire Appalachian in 2021. As a Black woman and a lesbian, though, she’s not sure who will have her back out there, as she’s already faced harassment on her trail day hikes. In a co-ed AT Facebook group, white men have already been harassing her about her recent publication, some posting “Hikers Lives Matter.” The male FB administrators have accused her of race baiting when she talks about racism on the trail. “We need to make these groups a safe space for everyone, not just white members, as Black people do hike.” Latrina Graham’s powerful essay about being a Black woman just trying to hike goes even deeper into this huge problem.

Until white hikers, particularly white men, do more to make the trail safer for everyone, what do the rest of us do? Not hiking isn’t an option, nor should it be. Most women I spoke with agreed that the best way to stay safe is to trust your intuition and to avoid gaslighting yourself or being too “nice.” Always sign guest books as two people or use a male/ambiguous name, invent a “dude backstory” about a “friend” that’s nearby, and never post photos at recognizable spots on social media. Obviously it’s #notallATmen making women’s lives hard... but it only takes one.

We are asking men in the outdoor industry to listen, believe us, step up, and use your privilege to call out other men. That’s what will help us feel safe. We are tired. We need your help.

Because we belong here, too.

[ambidextrousarcher]

Sarcastic StarBharat Reviews: Episode 6: Bhishm’s self-choice ceremony

Tagging @avani008, @butchcaroldanvers, @chaanv, @medhasree, @ratnas-musings, @iamnotthat. Anyone else who wants to be tagged, please comment.

Thanks to @avani008 for the reblog with the amaze tags! Thank you, Avani didi!

The episode begins with an elaborate naming ceremony, complete with a ringing hymn. This generation of babies has naming ceremonies, the next one, on the Pandavas’ side, anyway, doesn’t. I don’t really remember the Kauravas, but man, imagine 100 freaking naming ceremonies in the span of a few days. Ouch. I feel pity for the pandits in that case. The part of the precap dealing with Dhritrashtra’s naming plays. Next, it is Pandu who’s named. CANON FAIL. Pandu is not named for the glow on his skin, he’s named for his paleness. When Ved Vyas um, copulates with Ambalika, she turns pale with fear, which is why Pandu is born pale, canonically. Satyavati instructs the Mahamantri to give Dakshina to the Guru. “Rajmata!” Ah, it’s Mr. Paragon of Perfection. Whatever this guy is going to do, please don’t think it’s canon, alright? He has a baby in his hands, clearly, it’s baby Vidur. “The ritual is not complete. The naming of this child is still left.” There’s a woman standing behind Bhishm, I think it’s Vidur’s mama. She’s silent. Satyavati is livid. “But he’s a servant’s…he’s Parashrami’s child.” Apparently, she is too regal to say ‘dasi-putr’ in open court. “He’s not just her child, he is the gift Ved Vyas gave us. He will grow together with the Princes as their younger brother. All three ladies look pissed, like they’d rather be somewhere else, but Bhishm doesn’t give them a choice. Satyavati reluctantly holds Vidur, as the Guru gives the baby his name. (BTW, isn’t honey harmful for babies younger than 6 months?) The ladies still look pissed, but Bhishm is smiling. Camera focuses on Psycho Princess walking through water. Then it switches back to Hastina, where Satyavati is giving daan after the naming ceremony, when she notices Psycho Princess. She has a “Oh, shit, not her again…” expression on her face. Ikr, Satyavati, really. This psycho Princess has a thing of turning up smack dab in the middle of happy events and ruining them, no? First a coronation, then a naming ceremony. Idk how she gets past Hastina’s sentries into the palace. Something is wrong with your sentries, Bhishm, go train them better! Everyone moves away from her (so would I, frankly. She looks crazy, plus like she hasn’t bathed in days, at the very least.) She reaches Satyavati and says that she’s here to give daan to Bhishm. What will he choose? Marriage or death? Wow. I’d choose death, and so shall Bhishm, especially if I’m supposed to marry a psycho who literally wants me to go to hell. Right now, he stands silently, as Satyavati ostentatiously asks psycho “What do you want? We’re still ready to welcome you into the family. Why do you choose this destructive path, instead of the happiness you can have as a member of Kuruvansh?” Okay, this does not happen in canon. By the way, how can she become a member of the family, by marrying a baby who’s her nephew? What the…this makes no sense to me. “What happiness did you give my sisters? The terrible experience of Niyog? An incomplete child?” Good question, also non-canon. Canon Amba never mentions her sisters, so this is kinda a good change. “I am looking forward to the true pleasure of Bhishm’s pride breaking in front of me. My heart is beating in the anticipation of that golden moment.” Alright. Peacock feather makes an entry and I poise my finger over the skip button. It’s yet another sermon on desire and revenge. Skip. Skip. Camera focuses on Bhishm galloping on a horse. He reaches Parashuram, who’s taking a weird spin effect now. Psycho Princess is behind Parashuram. How the heck did she reach there before Bhishm? Bhishm dismounts and moves towards Parashuram. “Stop!” “I wish to touch your feet, Gurudev…” Ah, I’m so getting Arjun vibes here. Okay, I need to stop Arjun fangirling, stat. He doesn’t exist yet. “I need to find out for myself if you are worthy of my blessings. Because the man who blesses a sinner sins himself.” Why am I reminded of Bhishm refusing to bless Arjun in the future after he marries Subhadra? Okay. No, this is not Arjun I need to talk about. Bhishm rather dramatically says that the meaning of his existence is to fall at Parashuram’s feet. Alright, why is this man so very much a drama queen all the time? Even Arjun would not say that, for all that he adored Drona a lot. “As for sinning,” continues Bhishm, “The very fact that you doubt me is enough of a sin for me. If I were not bound with Hastina’s responsibilities, I would have sought death this instant.” Goodness. Faced with this much fawning drama, Parashuram does a volte-face. “When did I say I doubted you, son? However, to settle this maiden’s doubts, I wish to take your test. War with me, Bhishm. If you are following Dharma properly, you will not be defeated by my hand.” “Then, would my Guru be defeated by my hand?” He sounds like he’s gonna cry. No, Nila. Don’t think about Arjun. No. Parashuram scoffs. “A Guru gets victory if he is defeated at a student’s hand. War against me! Just like a small blot dirties a white cloth, similarly, the smallest of complaints can dirty a man’s principles in front of the society. Lift your weapons and destroy the accusations.” Parashuram causes thundering with a hand movement, creating a bow. A fight commences, fireballs moving towards Bhishm as psycho Princess grins psychotically. Bhishm’s arrow explodes the fireballs, turning them into flowers. “Pranaam, Gurudev,” says he. Seriously? Parashuram pushes Bhishm twice, leading to him toppling off a cliff. Parashuram leaps after him, punching him. They land inside water. Don’t ask me how they can breathe in water, let alone run around and do fancy moves, and that too in armor in Bhishm’s case. Parashuram clocks an uppercut, landing Bhishm in a forest. “You are cheating, Bhishm!” “I cannot attack my Guru.” Be still, my heart. The melodrama is too much, I know. “You are disrespecting your Guru. Do you not believe in your Guru’s strength that you will attack and he will be defeated? This Parashuram is not that old yet!” Bhishm unknots his hands as Parashuram throws a tree trunk at him, which Bhishm punches into two. Bhishm tune plays. I repeat, canon is NOT this over dramatic Precap: Ganga is asking Shiv for help because the two warriors, Parashuram and Bhishm have lifted their weapons. Shiva makes a cameo. Camera focuses on a sleeping girl, her room filled with diyas. The diyas flicker out due to wind, making her start awake. “Sukhdha!” she calls.

[venus-says]

Kamen Rider OOO Episodes 17-32

I'm really holding myself to not make a joke with a Katy Perry song.

Yes, I'm late. Yesterday was my mom's birthday and I was taking care of that for the past three days so I didn't finish writing this post on time, I'M SORRY. But here I am now so let's get to the juice.

You know, looking from the point we left in the last post I expected things to go downhill and I was prepared to have another W's mid-season experience. Aaaaand I was wrong! And thank god for it.

The complaints I had from the first part are still present here, but they picked on the good points already present and expanded so much on them that when you put things on paper the positives more than compensate for the bad ones. As I mentioned before, arcs introducing a new "ranger" in the middle of the season are for the most part very hard to me, I usually don't like those, and the way they introduce Birth sure was rough in some edges. But despite the elements I dislike still being there, I've grown to like Akira/Birth and I think their inclusion to the cast played a big role in making this second part as solid as it was.

The come and go of the medals is still confusing and hard to keep up with, the antagonists are still kind of a mess, some of the MOTW plots are weak, but each one of these negatives come with a positive. Yes, is hard to keep track of the medals, but the new combo forms Os got in these episodes were amazing both in visuals and in powers. Yes, there are still many "factions" acting as antagonists, but each one of them had something added to them so they don't look just like a bunch of pawns trying to act like a king and just looking like a bunch of ants who broke formation coming back to their colony. While some MOTW didn't have a very engaging story, each one of them had at least one quirk that made them interesting.

If there are things I'd consider fatal flaws in this particular block of episodes I'd say they are: how they didn't know how to manage the GREED, Gotou's storyline, and those horrible episodes celebrating the 1000th episode.

Regarding the GREED, this is a problem I had in the first part as well, they're completely underused. First, they quickly ditched two generals (the ones with most personality) at once, so I thought we would see Uva and Kazari as two different forces going against each other, but no Uva was pushed to the side for the most of it and we only saw Kazari doing his things. Then there's the matter of Ankh's body who's sitting on a very thin line and sometimes it's pending more to the interesting side and in other times is just sitting in the "really, queen?" side of things. Now not everything is bad, adding a new GREED that wasn't one of the original 5 and having this GREED be merging with both Eiji and Dr, Maki is very interesting and I'm quite curious to see how it'll develop, I feel like they're building up for Maki be the final boss and I'm kinda thorned about it since I really like Kougami and I wish he was the final antagonist, but episodes 29 and 30 shed a new light on Dr. Maki and I started liking him a little more so I think I'm okay if that's the path they'll take.

Gotou is a mixed bag of feelings for me. I really started disliking him around episode 12, and I disliked him more when they started to hint him as being the next Rider to join, and I still think he's a very weak character and he's definitely not in my favorites' list. But I started to get more sympathetic towards him and a huge part of that is because of his interactions with Akira, I'm still not interested on seeing him becoming Birth but thanks to this period he spent with Akira I think when the change happens I'll be more open-minded for it. I also can't deny that he had a great part in on of my favorite stories of the season (Episodes 21 and 22) that made me soften my heart for him, seeing his internal conflict about his own sense of justice was very cool, the conclusion he came to wasn't what I wanted but it was still great nonetheless.

The 1000th episode arc was... just boring and embarrassing, I'm sorry. I know I don't have the knowledge of this franchise to catch all the easter eggs and such, but with easter eggs or no is a very weak plot and I wasn't interested in anything. Again, I'm sorry.

But now let's talk about the good stuff. First of all, I wanna take a moment to talk about the power-ups, Os got two new combos in these episodes and they're both great. Seeing that I'm a sucker for water powers I thought ShaUTa would be my favorite, and while it looks pretty good and the fight underwater we got as cool as heck my favorite form is TaJaDor, I love the design of the suit, I love the design of the wings, I love that attack with the peacock feathers, I love when he goes to the sky and start looking like a phoenix, that power-up is *chef's kiss* perfecto! I don't know if PuToTyranno is considered a power-up, but the form is also pretty darn good, I think the ptera wings are a bit weird and attacking with a tail is a bit too much for me (especially with that CGI), but I love the ax/gun weapon he got, and I can't wait to see more. (also PuToTyranno is a very fun name to me because "puto" is not a family-friendly word in Portuguese and I just can't help but crack every time I think of it XD)

Talking about characters, Eiji is as great as ever, his smartness continues being on point, he has great comedy moments, and the delivery on the emotional moments is very well done. What I liked the most about him in these episodes was seeing how he could gave some very strong speeches about justice and helping other people and said speeches didn't sound generic or fake like in the many other shows with a young male target audience. They were a bit idealistic while staying very grounded in reality which I loved. We also got to see the full scope of his backstory too, I don't necessarily love the part about he coming from a wealthy family, but I can see that this also adds a lot on his shoulders so I'm okay with it, is still a very strong character point. I thought it would take long to another Rider to dethrone Shotaro as my favorite, but Eiji is coming very close to it, let's see how the show will handle his character in this final third.

Ankh... is still Ankh. I thought they were building a narrative of him betraying Eiji, and I thought that could be a very nice point to make him grow as a character but that didn't come true so, I'm still kinda meh about him. Hina is still boring, but this time I'll blame all on the actress/direction they gave to her because there are good moments for her here but the delivery is very lackluster. Chiyoko is still a very nice side character, I really liked her participation in episodes 29 and 30 with her interactions with Maki, I hope we can see more of this in the future.

The things in Kougami foundation are still a high point for me, Kougami himself seems to be becoming more crazy and obsessive as time passes and I just love it. Erika is by far the best support character, and I love that badass action scene they gave her in episode 20! I wish the booty shots didn't have camera angles that weren't so IN YOUR FACE, but I guess is a fair trade considering the many closeups on Eiji while he's on his underwear so...

I already talked a bit about Akira but I feel like I need to highlight him again. I wasn't expecting to like him this much, especially seeing how he crashed this party without previous notice, but I really enjoy him. He's so upbeat and straightforward, yet he's not just an easygoing character, we can see his dept and whenever he goes serious it doesn't seem like a very drastic change. It's kinda impossible to dislike this guy. I'm a bit afraid for him, because the signs that he's going to die are all here, and I don't wanna see him go because I like him so much, I hope that if they do it it'll be on a nice way and it'll make him justice, BUT I'LL TRY TO STAY POSITIVE TILL THE LAST MINUTE AND I'LL BELIEVE THAT HE'S NOT GONNA DIE (pls OOO, don't crush my heart).

I believe this is all I had to say, I can't believe I'm already so close to the end of this wonderful series, I really hope they won't drop the ball in this final stretch. How yall feel about the middle portion of OOO, anything you agree or disagree with? Let me know in the comments. See you, folks. o/

[aion-rsa]

You Should Check Out the Paralympics

https://ift.tt/3BpOGn7

U.S. Paralympic swimmer Jamal Hill has big goals.

“I set out upon this journey to become the LeBron James of swimming – to just become the greatest that I can be, but also the most recognized swimmer in the world,” Hill tells Den of Geek.

Hill was just 10 years old when he first experienced total paralysis and was diagnosed with Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT) – a hereditary neurological condition that can result in loss of muscle tissue and touch sensation. Over the years, however, Hill not only gradually regained his mobility but became an elite swimmer. The Los Angeles-native is now ranked #1 in the US Paralympic 50m Freestyle and is currently in Tokyo representing his country in the 2020 Paralympics.

The Tokyo 2020 Paralympic Games began on Aug. 24, just over three weeks after the Olympics’ closing ceremonies and are set to run through Sept. 5. The Paralympic Games have a bit of a marketing problem in comparison to its older cousin, which is something that Hill wants to change. He notes that some countries like Australia combine the swimming trials for both the Olympics and Paralympics but in the U.S., the Olympics swimming trials took on the pomp and circumstance of a Hollywood premiere, while the Paralympic trials had more of a high school meet vibe. 

“Athletes like myself just taking that initiative to promote their own careers and promote their own brands serves the greater Paralympic movement,” he says. 

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Just before Hill took off for Tokyo, he was nice enough to chat with Den of Geek about his journey, why the Paralympics should be appointment viewing, and his non-profit Swim Up Hill. 

Surprisingly, there was a lot of talk about Ray Kroc’s McDonald’s business model as well, which we’re presenting in its entirety because it’s pretty fun.

The following has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Den of Geek: What was last year like for you? Because it was difficult and weird for all of us, but I imagine it’s even weirder and more difficult for you as an athlete.

Jamal Hill: Yeah. Last year seems like a long time ago now. Obviously first and foremost, just prayers out to all the people who were negatively impacted by COVID-19. Hindsight is 2020, and I’m somebody that doesn’t look at things as really blessings or curses, really it’s just all a new challenge. So, we had some strong challenges, man. We lost our pool facility. I was challenged to continue training in backyard pools, which is pretty comical. I was challenged to up my mental and spiritual game. 

Because our home pool was gone, we had to figure out “okay, well how are we going to train?” So, man, I was already all over the county, but COVID-19 literally put me all over the county. I was swimming in pools in the Palisades, and Ladera, and Long Beach, and Burbank, and Altadena, and you name it, I’ve been to pretty much every major pool there is around the county. That was a stepping stone, dude, and now we’re onto the next step. I pulled strength from that experience, quite frankly.

I imagine when you’re training for the Paralympics, there’s not a lot of free time. But when you do have free time, what do you enjoy?

Dude, my time ain’t free. When I’m not swimming, I’m the executive director and founder of the Swim Up Hill Foundation, Inc. We have a mission to teach a million people every year how to swim in BIPOC and low-to-middle income communities. So I spend a lot of my time organizing my staff, running documents, organizing events, running budgets, and things like that, just being a businessman. 

Then outside of that, I’m an avid reader. I probably read anywhere from four to six books a month. And that’s from autobiographies, biographies, self-improvement, you name it. That’s pretty much my time right there. But yeah, I find a lot of fulfillment in just fulfilling my destiny. That’s what I call it. It’s not even work, it’s just like I’m working on my destiny here, and it brings me a lot, a lot, a lot of joy. So I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything.

I would say you’re definitely not. Even people who aren’t training for the 50 meter freestyle don’t usually read four to six books a month.

Well, again, that’s that kind of a business mindset of it. I set out upon this journey to become really the LeBron James of swimming – to just become the greatest that I can be, but also the most recognized swimmer in the world. I pull inspiration from the music industry and then some of my different industries of entertainment and artists, and you understand that the artform itself ultimately is probably about 30%, and 70% is business. The world’s greatest CEOs are reading, on average, 72 books a year. So, if that’s the company I want to be in, that’s the pace you’ve got to keep.

Do you think that there’s a path that can be taken to maybe promote the Paralympics a little more? From your perspective, what do you think is the best way to go about it?

I think one really powerful way is to combine the marketing and the events more. So for example, just in the swimming spectrum, there are certain countries like Australia where the swimming trials of the Olympics and Paralympics are held at the same venue on the same weekend. But Olympic swimming and Paralympics trials were held in completely different cities. One of them is a fricking Hollywood blow-out, and then one of them is rinky-dink high school meet, almost, the feeling of it. And that’s the one I was at.

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Athletes like myself just taking that initiative to promote their own careers and promote their own brands serves the greater Paralympic movement. And then, again, also, outside of that, there are steps being taken, man. I think it’s just so new. It’s almost like when, do you remember when Lil’ Bow Wow changed his name just to Bow Wow?

Yep.

Yeah. And for a cool minute, everybody is like, “No, that’s Lil’ Bow Wow. I don’t care how old you get, Shad Moss, you’ll never just be Bow Wow.” But now after some time it’s like, okay, it’s just Bow Wow. Nobody cares. I think that’s ultimately where we’re at right now. It’s the Olympic and Paralympic Committee of the United States. The IOC and IPC haven’t joined yet. So I think those bodies joining and becoming this one acronym, is ultimately, again, over the years, going to start to help people.

This year is going to be the first year the Paralympics are showcased on NBC so we’re definitely continuing to make strides in the right way. I don’t even want to slap anybody’s wrist too hard, and say, “You got to be able to pick it up.” I think they’re doing some really good things. And obviously coming onto platforms like yours, now you’re a part of this education process. Now a lot of your community is going to be like, “Oh, shit, I thought it was just the Olympics. Paralympics? And they all get paid the same? They’re all elite athletes? They all are overcoming crazy challenges and struggles? And oh my God, this person has no arms or legs, and he swims faster than I do. How the heck is that possible?” That’s something I want to see. So it’s going to catch fire, man, don’t you worry, it’s going to catch.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

I believe you. What’s your favorite book you read recently?

Let me just pull up my Audible. I would say most recently my favorite book has probably been Grinding It Out by Ray Kroc and Robert Anderson, the McDonald’s story. That’s probably been my favorite book of late. Ray Kroc didn’t even make his nut till he was in his 40s or 50s. And at first it didn’t even look like it was going to happen, but he stayed dedicated. He had the experience and wisdom to know a gem when he found it and he stuck with it. Then just to see the licensing, the franchise model of McDonald’s with my foundation, that’s ultimately a template that I use when talking to my staff. 

We’re the McDonald’s of swim education. Our goal is to get people from “can’t swim” to “can swim” as quickly, as effectively, and as simply as possible. Ultimately the system is designed to be so simple that I can put you right here on the fries, or put your right here on the grill, and it’s like step one, two, three, done, and it’s always the same outcome, always quality control. That’s why Ray Kroc is my man. Big fan, dude. And obviously McDonald’s has as a brand, I know we’re in the health age, and it’s not the healthiest food, so I’m not supporting it in that way necessarily, but also at the same pace, it’s a lot healthier than a lot of stuff out there, the quality of their meats and things like that.

Have you ever seen the movie Super Size Me?

Guaranteed, man. Hell yeah, I saw Super Size Me.

I read recently that no one’s been able to replicate those results. That’s not really a strong  scientific process he goes through in that movie.

With respect, I hope no one was ever calling it a strong scientific process. No case study has ever been performed on one person. 

The Paralympics can be live-streamed on NBCOlympics.com with select events appearing on NBC-branded networks and the Peacock streaming service.

The post You Should Check Out the Paralympics appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/38mfJmM

[randomnessunicorn-imagine]

Are you still doing homestuck imagines ? If so how would Eridan,Kankri,Equius,and Horuss feel about an S/O that hasn't ever dated someone/hasnt had any experience in a relationship before? (btw your blog is amazing v(^∀^*))

{ Oh, hello and thank you so much~ }

➢ Eridan Ampora ;

Eridan is a member of the Lonely Heart Club –even if he does not want to admit it-, and he’s a forever alone like we all know. You have never had a date and it’s not a problem. He will tell you he has had so many dates and he lost count of them but it’s not true, he wants to appear like the Casanova everyone desires –but only in his dreams-.  His aristocratic and condescending ways could make you uncomfortable (and getting on your nerves) but he’s just glad someone has noticed him and you are his crush even if he has not already confessed it. The poor fish boy is imagining a future with you, that you will become his matesprite but maybe he has to be careful with the words he uses and his ways can appear harsh or insolent sometimes. You need a lot of patience!He will try to organize a romantic encounter since it’s the first date for the both of you. He would suggest doing a picnic nearby the beach and then admiring the night sky together looking for the constellations. Before the date, Eridan will watch romantic movies that he has borrowed from Karkat and he will take notes of all the most important points and words to say. Maybe you could find him a little weird and unnatural because he tries to imitate the characters of those movies but it would be very hilarious. It won’t be a terrible date, you’ll have fun with him, and if he’s alone with you he can be softer and less egocentric because he wants to give you a good impression and maybe there will be a second date.

➢ Kankri Vantas ;

Because of his vow of chastity, he’s reluctant at first to accept your invitation but it’s just a date and it does not regard any sexual activities so he’s glad to help a friend and spend some time with you. Yes, he considers it like a friendship date. His intention is not to friendzone you and it’s better if you don’t talk about it. In this circumstance, he will tell a salmon about his apologies if you think that the two of you could become a couple and then he will tell you that you should have known about his life choice and that he feels so offended and bla bla bla.For your sake, you have to be the one to choose the date’s destination and I would suggest a calm and silent place where people could not speak or, at least, not so much just like a library or a waiting room. Yes, they are really strange places for a date but you must be ready for all his talks and he won’t let you answer back and if you do, he will talk so much more because it seems you are interested to his discourses.On the other hand, if you want to conquer his heart, it could be a good method. Show yourself fascinated to his speeches, nodding and doing facial expressions that manifest happiness but you have to demonstrate you are listening to him for real, just repeat what he says and he will think you are agree with his point of views. You have to be determinate and resistant because this thing can go along for hours and you will be exhausted but you will make him so happy and maybe he will be the one to ask a new date to you and your poor hears won’t be so glad about it.

➢ Equius Zahhak ;

Oh, it’s a great responsibility, so he’s the first person you date. He’s sweating because it’s unbelievable, and he will do his best to make this date fantastic and he will show you the STRONG feelings he feels for you, it has to be special and romantic. Then, he wants to show you that he can effort so many things because he’s a highblood so he will take you in the most elegant and renowned restaurants. He acts just like a peacock that has to show his bright plumage. At first, you could thing he’s a blowhard (just like his muscles) especially if you are a human and you don’t know troll’s culture. Then, you’ll see he’s very gentle and caring (sometimes he’s embarrassed too and he starts sweating like crazy but just forgive him).  Anyway, it will be a very romantic and sophisticated date you will enjoy so much, he behaves like a gentleman complimenting you for your outfit, and everything will be his treat. Since it’s your first date and he’s the lucky troll who accompanies you, it has to be an unforgettable date.

➢ Horuss Zahhak ;

It’s not his first date and he’s quite shocked when you confess to him that you have never had a date before. Actually, he’s glad to be your first date and he will take this responsibility very seriously. Everything has to be perfect for his future matesprite (he’s already dreaming about it).His behaviour is similar to Equius’ because he wants to show you how he can take care of you and he traits you like a princess/prince even if your blood is low (his ex matesprite was Rufioh and his blood is not the highest). After the romantic dinner, he will ask to you if you want to ride his great beasts with him under the moonlight and if you are not able, he will teach you and he can be so delicate and soft when he wants, you don’t have to be afraid of his STRENGH!

[wwxyoudumbass]

Part 2 of the

Badass!YanLi Headcanons

also known as

Shijie Saves A-Ying

(and a thousand other lives)

Scene begins on Wen Qing looking up from her work as she hears the demon twunk shout her name.

"WHAT IS IT??" She turns to the cave as he rushes out.

What gets from his nervous ramblings is "something happened" and "I swear I didn't do anything this time" and "someone's fucking screwing with the wards!!!"

Her eyes widen in terror. "But you said–" she forces her breaths to calm down because this isn't the time for anger, "Nevermind, what's happened? I didn't hear any explosions."

"I know, right! It was that weird mushroom you'd found yesterday - the one that reacts to qi - and ugh I'm sorry I didn't include you but I'd just had this crazy idea and I got excited, and the next moment I know–" He breaks off, looking like he's seen a ghost.

She turns around to find Jiang Yanli walking through the undergrowth, Sect Leader Jiang in the undertow. She steels herself, hand on the hilt, gesturing her people to make themselves scarce. Just in case. Then she takes to eyeing the Jiangs with hostility. At least they left their disciples at the wards, so that's something.

But how the fuck did they get through the wards.

She turns to wwx to see if he's thinking along the same lines but the crazy genius is too feels-struck to think. Ugh, this is going to be tough.

The lotus lady and the emo flautist stare at each other for a moment before wwx is running to his shijie, her arms open to catch him in what must be a bone-crushing embrace. Then wwx begins to shake and Wen Qing has to turn her eyes away, the moment is too private.

Wwx can't think straight. He can't think at all - shijie is here, shijie is here and everything will be alright - he'd promised himself that he'll act all tough when jc comes and the little shit won't even suspect - but he wasn't prepared for this! Any thoughts of control and secrets and the need for pretense flees his head the moment she throws open her arms, her eyes saying, "There you are, A-Ying. You mischievous little brat."

And he's running, he's flying and he's in her arms and before he knows it he's crying but she's also crying so it's ok, why the fuck is it that easy for him to just howl into her shoulder and why the fuck does she hold him like she wants to break his ribs so she can soothe him inside out, beginning from his core? That's funny, he thinks, because if she crushed his ribs her hands would close upon empty air, haha– oh.

He hates this. He hates the whole entire world.

Gingerly, he separates from her, wiping her cheeks with his sleeve(palms dirty from his little experiment), huffing out a soft happy laugh like one does in such moments while she wipes his tears with her thumbs, smiling up at him like she's determined to set his world straight with kind smiles and warm hugs and gentle caresses alone. And she just might, lol.

"Alright then, time to whoop his stupid ass. Shijie, are you doing it or should I?" Jc looks like he's very much dying to be included in the hug but is also 100% mad at wwx. The Zidian cracks on his finger. "It's funny," he says, and wwx can tell he's going to say some mean shit, "they said you're harbouring war criminals and raising an army of fierce corpses to wipe out the gentry clans! Looks like your corpses are nothing but straw dummies building old age homes for the last couple years of these lowlives, heh."

Wwx doesn't give him the satisfaction by rolling his eyes and says instead, blatantly smiling, "Oh, you're here too. Guess it can't be helped." He bows over-the-top, "What brings you here, Sandu Shengshou?"

That's all it takes for the purple menace to rush at him. He ducks behind shijie, his favourite shield in the world. That's when jc decides that sect leaders are too cool for shit like this and straightens up, showily dusting his immaculate sleeves, rolling his eyes in I'm above you, you peasant, saying, "Ugh, you're still so childish, it's pathetic."

Wwx shrugs. He gestures for them to follow him, saying "I guess I should invite you both inside the Demon Subdue Palace."

Jc scoffs and shijie blinks at him as if checking whether all his marbles are still in place. He laughs. "Come on, it's funny! I'm the demon, and I sleep there!! Demon, Palace, Subdue." He points first at himself, then at the cave and then mimes what looks like a three-year-old sleeping.

Before jc can retort, they hear Wen Qing draw her sword. The trio turn to look and wwx's brain goes wtf, is that Lan Zhan?! And wtf is the Peacock doing here, for fucks sake!

Here's the Part 1

[artificialqueens]

Until the Flavor's Gone (6/?) (Biadore) - Kitschy Pixel

A/N: Hello! Wow, guys. I’m so super flattered that you all have been hanging on and interested to this fic so far. Especially since this is actually turning into a bit of a slower burn than I intended. I hope you guys don’t mind. I really don’t know if my usual writing standards quite hold up for this chapter (but I thought that with the last chapter too so… what can you do?) Sorry if this is a disappointment.

In this instalment, Courtney goes overboard to play matchmaker, Adore goes on another trip, and I think I may have fucked up my own timeline but I just really wanted to write this. So I mathed and tried to fix it (I wrote it down this time so I wouldn’t keep getting mixed up and confused). I think it still works? Maybe. I dunno. Numbers.

Language warnings and some flirting leading to some almost very close-to smut! Hurrah!

Additional note: The brief description of Danny’s discomfort in wearing drag for an extended period of time is based solely on my experience in cosplaying. I don’t know if it’s accurate, but what is? Okay, stop talking, start storying.

Chapter Six

Waking up in New Orleans wasn’t exactly what Danny expected to be doing roughly ninety-six hours ago, and yet? Here he was, rubbing sleep out of his eyes as a pile of clothes were being dumped onto him.

“Rise and shine!” Shane chirped excitedly, completely ignoring Danny’s squeaky protests. “We need to get up and get ready if we’re going to make it.” He shoved a water bottle in Danny’s hands. “Drink. Get hydrated and get up.”

“Make it where?” Danny groaned as he unearthed himself from what apparently was almost all of Courtney Act’s wardrobe upended onto his bed.

“You’ll seeeee…” The overly chipper inflection in Shane’s voice should have set off warning bells, and yet? It managed to fly right under Danny’s still not fully awake radar.

“Fuck man, did you bring every single thing you own?”

“No. This isn’t even half of it. Now go on. Get up! Clean yourself up and we can figure out what you’re going to wear!”

Danny complied, albeit with an eye roll and a sour mood. A few days ago, Shane approached Danny with the crazy idea of a road trip to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Apparently it was a trip he’d been planning for months, but his nameless travel companion had backed out. Why Shane was asking him on this To Wong Foo-esque excursion (without the getting stranded part) hadn’t been discussed (and neither had been how late they’d be arriving for the festivities), but since he wouldn’t have to pay a dime and Shane offered him his own room – well, how was he supposed to say no?

After showering the grime of travelling in a car for two and a half (very nearly three) days and brushing his teeth, Danny wandered back out to sit on the small office chair and watched as Shane sifted through his belongings. “How did you get in here?”

Shane snapped his fingers like he nearly forgot and tossed the hotel room key to Danny. “Careful who you trust that with, the world is full of weirdos.”

“Pretty sure this room is full of them… how’d you even get this?”

The energetic Aussie put his fingers to his lips to shush Danny before he held up two dresses, similar in length, but different in color. “Which one?”

Danny pointed to the iridescent blue as he sipped at his water. “That one.”

“Oh, good choice!” Shane tossed it to Danny and the other blinked in surprise.

“What? No. Are you joking? This isn’t going to fucking fit me…”

“It most definitely will. I’ve got an eye for that kind of thing. Go put it on.”

Danny held the dress out in front of him and shook his head. “No fucking way. There’s no way!”

“Just do as I ask! Go on, shoo!” he gestured with his hands as he spoke, directing Danny back to the bathroom. “I wanna see!”

Shane bit his lip and craned his neck as he started to get his own outfit together for the day, calling out to Danny, “So have you talked to Bianca… or I guess… Roy lately?” he prodded gently, trying to sound as natural as possible.

“Not lately, but he gets busy sometimes. So it’s not a big deal…” Danny rounded the corner in the dress, struggling with the zipper in the back, “Why?” he raised an eyebrow at Shane’s sudden curiosity in the topic. It wasn’t exactly unusual. Shane had checked in on their conversations in the past – but it was usually while Danny was texting with Roy, so it never went unprompted.

Shane shuffled over to help Danny zip the dress the rest of the way, shrugging as he replied, “Oh, just asking. You haven’t talked about him lately so I thought I’d ask…”

“You make it sound like I talk about him all the time…” Danny paused as Shane turned him towards the hotel mirror. “I look weird.”

“You look gorgeous, for one. We can figure out a way to grunge it up a little if you’d prefer, but you look really nice… and two…” Shane began rifling through the duffel bag that Danny had brought all his drag in, as requested. “You actually do talk about him often and that’s perfectly fine… ugh, do you wash these tights?” Danny snickered out a ‘no’ and Shane wrinkled his nose, “Whatever. Okay, these shoes and this jacket… now go!” Shane shoved the items in Danny’s hands and shooed him away again before sitting on the bed and waiting for him to come back out again. “Give me a second and I can help you with your make-up.”

“Bitch, you’re not touching my face. I can get that on my own. Now can you like… go away for six seconds? Jeez…”

Shane shrugged and waited impatiently for Danny to come back out of the bathroom. When he wasn’t quick enough, Shane counted to ten and then got up to lean against the doorway, watching as Danny started to turn himself into the rebel princess he’d crafted over the past year, the shoes and jacket on the counter beside him. “Can I ask what’s going on between you two?”

“Between who? Me and Roy?” Danny leaned close to the mirror, half distracted by what he was doing. “We’re long distance friends who text when we can…”

“Is that all?”

Danny paused in what he was doing and set aside his eyeliner. He turned and faced the still hovering queen who did his best to feign innocence as he seemed to pry at Danny’s social life a little bit more insistently than usual. “Yes? Is there something else we should be?” He leaned one hand on the counter and watched as Shane did a very poor job at covering up that telling grin by chewing on his lip. Danny sighed heavily as he finally caught onto where this was headed, “Why are you asking about it?”

“Okay, don’t get mad but… let’s say a little bird told me that you haven’t had sex since your trip to New York…”

Danny sucked a long breath through his nose and flicked his eyes upwards. “I’m going to fucking kill, Jay…” he growled as he tossed his eyeliner down against the sink, just for the satisfaction of throwing something against something else. It was enough.

“Now, don’t get mad at Jay! He was just… sharing… some personal information that you’d given him in confidence… okay, I know that sounds bad but he really just had the best intentions!”

“You are fucking kidding me… who else knows?” Danny glared when Shane pulled a panicked face and shrugged, “I swear to fucking God…”

“I don’t know! Me, I know… and Detox… and Jasmine… maybe Raven and Alyssa…?” With each added name, Danny groaned a little louder. “It really isn’t that big of a deal, Danny! It’s okay! We just… all kind of figured that maybe you and Bianca were a bit more serious than you were letting on…”

“He’s across the country, with a work schedule that makes me exhausted. Not exactly prime boyfriend material…” Danny sighed as he picked back up where he left off. “Besides… it’s not like we have a lot in common.”

“Then how do you two still talk to each other on a regular basis?”

“I…” Danny stopped again before huffing out another sigh. “I don’t know. Can we just pretend I have a good answer to that one and just move the fuck on?”

“Whatever!” Shane threw up his hands and wandered off while Danny finished getting ready, holding out a wig as he exited the bathroom. “This one,” he insisted before he wandered to the bathroom to get ready himself. Danny took the long black wig and flipped it over onto his head, smoothing it out the best he could with his fingers. He took a step back and stared at the fully realized Adore staring back at him in that short borrowed dress that glittered in a deep, rich-looking peacock blue.

With a playful cock to her hip she skipped back to the bathroom where she’d left the jacket and shoes. Placing both hands on either side of the doorway, she leaned forward slightly and watched as Shane began his own transformation. They stayed like that in silence for several minutes before Shane finally spoke up again. “So why has it been so long, if you don’t mind me asking? If you and Bianca aren’t anything serious, then what’s up?”

Adore shrugged a shoulder and flicked her eyes up into a random corner of the room. “I dunno. Dry spell, I guess?”

“A year long dry spell?”

“It hasn’t been a full year…”

“Close enough. But seriously. Just disinterest or what?”

“I guess? I dunno…” Adore blinked a few times and focused back on Shane, frowning a bit. “You’re trying to get me to talk about New York again, aren’t you?”

“Again. It’s been close to a year and you still haven’t said anything more than ‘massive dick’ and a torn shirt. That, coupled with the fact that you haven’t had sex since? I mean… come on. Excuse me for being curious…”

Adore just snorted before she perched herself onto the back of the toilet and started to absent mindedly chew on her nails. Shane started to impatiently hop up and down in place as Adore continued to stay quiet on the whole matter.

“Oh, come on!”

“Nope.”

“You tell me about the guy who fell asleep on you mid-fellatio but you can’t tell me about this.”

“I’m sorry!” Adore laughed as Shane, now several steps closer to Courtney, groaned and headed back into the room to finish getting dressed. Adore hopped down and followed. “Have you ever just had a guy that you just… you wanted to keep to yourself?” She sighed as she sat down on the bed and started to pick at the mound of clothes spread across it. “Look,” she began when Courtney quipped a short ‘no’, “I can’t explain it. I really can’t. I don’t know fucking why I can’t. I just…” she added a shrug as if that was supposed to put the whole topic to rest.

It was obvious from Courtney’s face that it didn’t do much of anything other than frustrate her. But she relented none the less, “Fine. Fine. Keep your magic New York night to yourself if you wanna be selfish. We’re in New Orleans. It’s Mardi Gras and I,” she gestured to herself with a flourish, “Am going to end that ‘dry spell’ of yours somehow.”

–––––––––––––––––––––

“Holy fucking fuck in a fucking shit basket…”

The string of expletives weren’t from the crowd on Bourbon Street or Adore being crammed into the crowd on Bourbon Street in daytime drag with Courtney being shoved into her side. It had everything to do with seeing Bianca del fucking Rio on that stage, looking like some classic Hollywood showgirl in red and suddenly – suddenly – everything about this trip snapped into focus so fast it felt like vertigo on solid ground.

The vague story about the trip, the timing of it all, the borrowed dress, the overly helpful Courtney and her incredibly curious questions…

It was so fast that she couldn’t even get mad about it (at first). All she could do was stare, fixated on the vulgar bundle of energy shouting obscenities, casting shade, and doing it perfectly in sequins, feathers and high heels. God dammit, those legs…

When she finally caught her breath, she pinched the underside of Courtney’s arm. Hard. And the Aussie beside her yelped, only to be met with a glare. The spell of shock had dissipated and now there was the anger. Courtney rubbed her arm and shot Adore a sheepish look.

“You wouldn’t have come along if you knew…” She flailed and wrapped her arms around Adore’s waist to keep her still. “And I don’t understand why! That’s why I keep asking about New York. You talk to him constantly and yet we all knew that if you were handed the chance to see him again, you’d pass it up!”

“You all knew? You all knew?” Adore hissed. “You didn’t even try to ask! I’m not mad that I drove a fucking thousand miles with you on this trip because he’s here – I’m mad that you fucking tricked me into doing it! And what? It’s a conspiracy now?”

“Well… I kind of needed a little help with planning everything…”

“Are you joking? What kind of nightmare made for TV romcom special is this?”

“Look. I said I would end your dry spell, didn’t I?” She gestured to the stage, “There’s the solution! One way or another!” She tightened her hold and looked up at Adore with a plea and a strained smile, “Please, Adore. Don’t leave. At least… she’s right there. We can catch up to her when she leaves the stage. At least say hi. That won’t kill you, right?”

Adore prepared herself to argue but got sidetracked by Bianca and her co-host laughing a particularly poorly done costume off the stage and something about it – seeing her in her element, dominating the atmosphere, and just doing her job – seemed to soothe the salted wounds of this particular brand of betrayal (and maybe it was a bit harsh to call it a betrayal, but god dammit). Her whole body relaxed from the tense battle ready (or fleeing, it could have been fleeing) stance it had taken and she nodded. “Fine,” she conceded. “Fine, I’ll at least say hello to him… but only because he’s here.”

And she kind of wanted to, but she wasn’t about to admit that out loud.

–––––––––––––––––––––

If it weren’t for the number of people stopping Bianca for a photo or a compliment or a declaration of love, Adore and Courtney would have easily lost her once the crowd began to disperse. But they got lucky and Courtney’s very loud ‘Oi! Pussy face!’ over the din caught Bianca off guard long enough for them to close the distance. Courtney jogged up first and Bianca beamed.

“Holy shit!” She reached out for a quick hug, and stared in disbelief as if Courtney was just some delusion she’d conjured up one day that suddenly sprang to life. “You’re fucking kidding me. You didn’t mention…”

“I brought you a belated birthday gift,” Courtney gestured behind her just as Adore came into view. “Or early birthday gift, however you want to look at it.”

Adore didn’t quite know how to interpret the change of Bianca’s smile at seeing her. That wide grin dropped, those painted lips parted for just a moment (shock, maybe?) and was followed by what could only be described as an appreciative smirk. “I see…” She coyly cocked her head to the side and for a minute, Adore hated her for it. She bit her lip in anticipation as Bianca said in a voice too high pitched to be sincere, “I don’t believe we’ve met.”

That cackle broke out in waves as Adore rolled her eyes and she was brought into a good, firm hug. “Oh God, what the fuck are you two even doing here?”

“Looking for boys,” Courtney piped up, “Which I’ve found. They’re over there, so I’m going to go – bye!” She retreated quickly before either of them could protest. Bianca shook her head as they both watched the bubbly blond disappear from their sight.

“That fucking shady cunt,” she murmured before turning to face Adore. “So I take it this is the Adore Delano you were so afraid to let me see?”

Adore offered a tight lipped smile and a shrug, “One and the same, I guess. But before you rip me apart, I just want to say you look like a bedazzled chicken right now…”

The jab earned her a laugh, which helped her heart slow down from the rampaging rhythm it was pounding before and she let a genuine smile break through. Her eyes darted downwards as she fought to keep her hands to her sides, bunching up the shimmery fabric between her fingers before releasing it and smoothing it back in place.

“Look who’s on the defensive,” Bianca shot back before she reached out and pushed a few strands of wig fiber from Adore’s cheek. “And you look fine, if it weren’t for this sad looking wig. Dear Christ, do you own a brush?” Her fingers lingered as she felt Adore lean a bit into the touch before she dropped her hand and sighed. “Come on, walk with me. I can’t stay in one place too long or else people will start to swarm. Besides, I have to make an appearance. This way.”

“You’re like… a local celebrity…” Adore didn’t mean to sound so impressed, but she did and she was. There was a life that rippled off of Bianca like waves hitting sand, that pulled back and beckoned Adore to follow. She’d seen it before when they first met, but here it seemed to be stronger, more potent, and more likely to try to drown her.

“Celebrity is a strong word… I just made sure my name got around.”

Adore trailed back when Bianca was stopped for a picture and then picked back up again once ‘thank you’s were exchanged. “Really? Because it’s looking like ‘celebrity’ is the right kind of word to me…”

Bianca sighed out a laugh and shook her head, “I worked in this city for a long time, that’s all. I’m not famous, I’m just familiar.”

Their paces slowed and their hands nudged together, but neither seemed brave enough to lock fingers. Instead, Adore cleared her throat and took a slight step to the side and concentrated very hard on walking straight. She blinked a few times when she realized that Bianca was still talking to her, “What?” She turned her head a bit fast, sucking in a breath when she realized how close Bianca had leaned in and choked out an “I’m sorry…”

“I asked when you got here…” Bianca clarified, taking a step back and curling her hands into fists, taking a moment to smile and nod at someone yelling ‘hello’ to her.

“Oh!” Adore shrugged and started to fiddle with the ends of her wig, wrapping a strand around her finger, “Late last night. This was all Courtney’s brilliant idea…”

“Of course it was,” Bianca flashed a smile that made Adore’s stomach do – maybe not a full flip, but at least an enthusiastic flutter. “Have you ever been?” Bianca tipped her chin up as Adore shook her head and sighed, eyes looking upwards as she was obviously trying to figure something out. “Listen, I’d hate for you to wander around by yourself, but I can’t exactly promise to show you the full New Orleans experience while I’m dressed like this. I technically still have a couple of things I need to do…”

Adore snorted, “God, do you ever get off?” The words slipped out before Adore had a chance to run them through what thin filter she had. If she had, she was certain it wouldn’t have sounded… quite like that. She sucked in a breath as she tried to think of a way to salvage the statement gracefully but could only squeak out, “Work, I mean… you always seem to be working.”

Bianca nodded, “Yeah, I knew what you meant,” though there was a spark in her eyes that said something else that made Adore’s insides warm. “And you wouldn’t be wrong,” she added. “But…” she trailed a bit as she seemed to gather up her thoughts and then pointed towards Adore. “How about this… you text me where you’re staying and I can meet up with you in about three hours…?”

Adore nodded and chewed on her lip, trying to not seem so eager to accept the invitation. “Yeah, sure… I would…” she hesitated to say ‘love’ and settled on the lesser, “really like that…”

“Then that’s what we’ll do.”

–––––––––––––––––––––

After Bianca separated herself from Adore, the younger queen wasn’t exactly sure what to do with herself. Courtney had abandoned her, with the best of intentions, Adore knew. However, the fact remained that she was officially on her own. Besides, she didn’t want to end up a third wheel with whoever Courtney had planned to occupy her time with when she was obviously trying to stay out of Bianca and Adore’s way.

Maybe it wasn’t the most thoroughly planned out matchmaking attempt, but bless her for trying.

Finding her way back to the hotel wasn’t hard, but she took her time. By the time she got back, her head was pounding, her mouth was dry and her feet throbbed – walking around in drag on minimal sleep early in the day had caught up with her quickly and minor discomfort was amplified by exhaustion and slight dehydration.

She stopped at the edge of her bed and stared at the mound of clothes that were still there before shoving them off to one side. She unpinned her wig and tossed it and the cap onto the dresser, before grabbing the bottle of water she’d abandoned earlier in the day and taking a swig. The shoes, tights, and jacket came next after she pulled off her eyelashes and fell back into bed.

It hadn’t been Danny’s intention to fall asleep, to be honest, and he hadn’t fully realized he’d done it until he heard a knock on his door. Jerking awake and groaning softly, he stumbled a bit out of bed, adjusting his skirt on his way. He assumed it was Courtney coming to check on him.

He’d assumed wrong.

He leaned against the door and just stared at Roy, who was looking back at him with a critical eye, that eyebrow raised and a smirk. “Wow,” he quipped and tilted his head, “You look pretty.”

“Fuck you,” Danny shot back as he turned to retreat back into his hotel room. Roy followed.

“No, seriously. I’m feeling so special to even be in the presence of such radiance…” He snorted when he saw the mess of clothes on the bed, “Wow. This got better…”

“Shut up. This is Courtney’s fault. I take no responsibility. Also? I just woke up so… I dunno… fuck you again.” Danny sluggishly began to gather up the clothes and pile them onto the arm chair nearby just so they were a bit more contained. He gulped at the sound of Roy’s chuckle behind him and he slid back down onto the bed. “Sorry. Give me a minute… I’m still waking up.”

“Take your time.”

Danny stared up at the ceiling before focusing back to Roy and pushing himself back up onto his elbows. “You can sit, you know. You don’t have to stand there like an asshole.” He rolled his eyes as Roy gestured to the armchair full of clothes, “Fuck’s sake…” he scooted over to one side of the bed and patted the other. It didn’t take much arm twisting for Roy to relent and sit down next to him, resting his back on the headboard.

They stayed like that for about a minute or two, but it felt like time was crawling. Danny could smell Roy, who’d clearly showered shortly before arriving, and he had to mentally remind himself not to press his face into his thigh. He rubbed at his eyes, smudging up his make-up more than it already was, as he tried to steer his mind away from the warmth that radiated next to him.

“So did you have another show or something?” He needed a safe topic and work always seemed safe with Roy. There was a sigh and another smile as Roy shrugged.

“Sort of. I had a couple of dicks I needed to suck so I could come back next year.”

Danny snorted out a laugh before he grinned up at the man beside him, “Spit or swallow?”

Roy rolled his eyes before he dropped a pillow onto Danny’s face before snickering and answering anyway, though vaguely, “It depends.”

Danny pulled the pillow off his face and wrapped his arms around it as he turned onto his side, still looking up at Roy and still grinning. “On what?” He was straying rapidly from what would be considered ‘safe topics’, but for an opportunity to tease Roy? He was willing to take the risk.

“None of your business.”

Danny trained his lips into his best pout, “Oh come on…” He pushed himself up and leaned his head against the headboard so he could be eye level with Roy, “Would you swallow if it were me?”

He hadn’t actually meant to ask the question, but now that it was out there he craved for an answer. Roy raised an eyebrow – less out of disbelief and more out of interest – as he flicked his gaze down to the pillow that now covered Danny’s lap.

“Are you asking me to suck your dick?”

“It’s hypothetical.”

“Sure it is.”

Danny snorted again and lightly hit Roy’s shoulder with the pillow. He excused himself to clean up his make-up before they could hold eye contact for too long. Roy followed and trailed after him without a word and was there to hand Danny a clean towel to dry his face. He pressed the towel to his eyes as he tried his best to scrub away the stubborn eye make-up. He remembered rattling something off about it before the towel was pulled gently from his hands and Roy’s lips were on his own.

There was that same spark he felt all those months ago in New York and for a second he thought it was strong enough to transport him back to that night in Roy’s apartment. It didn’t, of course, he was still standing in a hotel bathroom in the New Orleans with the faint sounds of cheering tourists filtering up through his window. But Roy was here, kissing him and tasting like spearmint mouthwash and wine (again). That was already enough.

When Danny’s back hit the wall after being pulled out of the bathroom, Roy’s mouth was back against his, drawing out each moan and whimper with ease. When the kiss finally broke with a barely audible ‘fuck’, the skirt of Danny’s dress was pushed up past his hips and his fingers were frantically trying to work open Roy’s fly.

“I borrowed this dress, don’t rip it – fuck!” Danny threw his head back as his wrists were pinned down and Roy’s hips met his. He pried his hand out of Roy’s grip to grab the back of his neck as their lips found each other again. It felt magnetic, two strong forces being pulled together until they latched onto one another and couldn’t let go.

“Not gonna rip it,” Roy assured gently as the kiss broke apart again, “Turn around…” Danny did as asked, pressing his elbows to the wall and arching his back. Roy’s hands grabbed at his hips with a chuckle so deep it reverberated with sultry sin, making Danny’s heartbeat double as all the blood in his body threatened to rush downwards. His breath caught at the sound of Roy quickly unzipping his dress. He bucked backwards once more and Roy grunted out, “Eager?”

“Just horny as fuck.”

“Pretty sure… that’s the same… thing…” Each pause was punctuated with a kiss as Danny was turned around again and his hands crawled up Roy’s shirt. He was wearing way too many clothes for Danny’s liking. He managed to get it up over the other man’s head and tossed it carelessly to the floor before Roy wrestled his hands away from him again. He leaned in and whispered “hold still,” in a soft, raspy voice that made Danny suck back a plea, bite his lip, and comply.

He stood there frozen, with his hands on either side of his head and bared to the scrutiny of those darkened brown eyes. The kisses that followed were short and sweet and made it hard for Danny to focus. His head was swimming in a syrup of arousal fuelled by the warmth of Roy’s hands and the spicy smell of his soap. He felt the “please” fall from his lips more than he actually heard it – a single syllable that carried the weight of a nine month dry spell and countless nights of New York inspired fantasies that tumbled from his tongue to Roy’s ears.

A soft “ha” followed and Danny watched as Roy flicked his eyes towards the ceiling. He swore he could see a thankful prayer cross Roy’s lips and marvelled at the other man’s visible disbelief of their circumstances. He wasn’t given much time to ponder why Roy would be so surprised before the dress gathered around Danny’s waist (along with his underwear) was pushed to his ankles in one smooth motion when the other man dropped to his knees.

With a gasp, Danny brought his hand to his mouth, biting down on his knuckles as he closed his eyes tight to muffle his moans while the other hand tangled itself in Roy’s hair. Warm and wet suction made Danny dig his heels into the carpet and his head fall back, the only thing really keeping him from sinking to the floor was a nice firm grip on his hips. He whimpered “fuck me” into his fist as the building pressure, ignited by that first kiss, began to sizzle and snap behind his eyelids like small sparklers tracing through a starless night, growing in number and threatening to blind him.

Needless to say, Danny got the answer to his question.

[jack-the-grump]

Please introduce your OC's in a nutshell including favorite color, choice of milkshake or smoothie, and what animal they would wanna be in their next life. Go! (Pff hope that's not too silly xD)

THANK YOU ROCKIN I LOVE U FOR INDULGING ME,

Kaz, his favorite color is probably yellow, and he’d TOTALLY go for some wierd craze kind of flavor milkshake, like fruity pebbles or s’mores, just overloaded with sugar, and if he had to be an animal he’d probably wanna be a peacock cause he’s and over boisterous K-pop star who’s in love with himself, and needs all the attention always, Much to Kozi”s annoyance

Kozi his favorite color is like a vibrant magenta/purple, and he also loves animal print stuff. and he’d go for a much more simple kind of milkshake, like strawberry or vanilla with caramel nothing crazy, but nothing boring, he’s a bit older than Kaz and he’s a retired visual kei artist and he’s just trying to lay low for a while after rough times, him and Kaz argue a lot case Kozi has had fame and hated it but Kaz always wants more and if Kozi was an animal he’d want to be a fat house cat who doesnt have to do anything but eat and sleep, since his first life has already been seriously rough

Romere Loves red and purple, he’s the most reserved of all of them, but he’s got a big kind heart, He was born in Egypt and was raised in a weird cult that didnt let him go and experience the modern world, and he eventually got out and managed to travel the world where he ended up meeting Kozi when he had a breakdown and ran away, and they’ve been together ever since, he’s more quiet and tends to be the one to stop arguments between Kaz and Kozi, he was very sheltered as a kid so id like to think he’d try a new flavor of milkshake every time he went out, just to see what he was missing out on, and if he had to come back as an animal Id say he’d be like a desert cat, that roams the nearby streets just looking for pets and scraps

[let-me-be-soft]

Trying- Chapter 8

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

Pairing: Alya/Nino

Summary:

After 5 years of a never ending battle with Hawk Moth, the Akumas suddenly come to a stop. For 4 months Paris seems like it’s finally at peace, but it may turn out to be only the calm before the storm. When Alya starts to hear a familiar voice, she realizes very quickly that Hawk Moth is far from gone. Alya must resist the temptation to discover the truth behind Ladybug, but as her life slowly falls apart around her Hawk Moth’s grip only becomes stronger.

AO3            Fanfiction.net

“Good morning.”

The door chimed as the next customer walked in.

“Good morning.” The old man said with a warm smile.

“What can I get you?” Sabine asked returning the smile.

“Some advice if you have the time.”

Sabine frowned, “You're asking me for advice?”

The old man nodded gravely. Sabine went and turned the open sign to closed, “Come in, I'll make tea.”

The old man sat at the breakfast table while Sabine put a kettle on the stove.

“Sabine-” Tom called before he noticed the elderly man, “Oh hello again Mr. Fu.”

Fu smiled at the giant man, “Good morning Mr. Dupain.”

“Honey-” Sabine started pulling out two tea cups.

Tom nodded and grabbed his apron, “I know, no questions asked. Let me know when it's safe to come back into the kitchen.”

And with that Tom left.

“You never told him.” Wayzz zipped out of fu’s pocket.

“No, it's not a part of my life anymore. It's easier to leave it behind.” Sabine handed Fu a cup and gave him a look, “It would be easier to leave behind if my daughter wasn't Ladybug.”

“You don't disagree with my choice do you?” Fu smiled.

“She is a wonderful Ladybug, I can't argue there. But sometimes it's a parent's job to think of her daughter before the rest of the world.”

Master Fu hummed.

“What did you need my advice with?” Sabine asked.

“I think it's time for Wayzz and I to part ways.”

Sabine’s mouth opened and she blinked dumbly in response. A sharp whistling sound came from behind them.

“Your kettle.”

Sabine stood up and poured hot water into a tea pot, before bringing the pot and some tea bags to the table.

“I already told you I wouldn't leave your side till I was dead.” Wayzz said floating back up to meet Fu’s gaze.

“I don't know if we can afford that luxury anymore old friend.”

“What do you mean?” Sabine poured tea for herself and Master Fu.

“Rekko already has the butterfly miraculous, and according to Chat Noir he has the Bee miraculous as well. He's stolen the turtle miraculous before, he must not be allowed to get it again.”

“Without me you are vulnerable Fu.” Wayzz insisted, “It’s too dangerous.”

“Sabine.” Fu turned to her and picked up his mug, “I need your advice.”

Sabine thought for a moment, “if you give up Wayzz, you are making yourself a target for Hawkmoth. He’ll know the moment the new jade turtle appears that you no longer have the miraculous.”

Master Fu sipped his tea.

“But you'd rather you die and the miraculous be safe with someone else.” Sabine looked at Wayzz sadly.

“I am old Sabine, I can't fight like I used to. If Rekko gets a hold of Wayzz, Ladybug and Chat Noir don't stand a chance.”

“Tell him he's crazy Sabine.” Wayzz piped in.

“I agree with him.” Sabine said mournfully. “Rekko cannot be allowed to get the title miraculous.”

Master Fu nodded, “And in my absence, can I count on you to guide them?”

She nodded and gave her old master a sad smile. “I will help them as best as I can.”

 Sabine waved after her old master as he left the shop.

“Is everything ok?” Tom asked standing behind her.

Sabine didn't respond at first, she just stared after the old man and lifted her hand to wipe a tear from her cheek.

“He's going to die soon.”

Tom held his wife lovingly, “I'm sorry.”

“It's going to be my fault. I told him he had to…”

“Sabine,” Tom turned the smaller woman around carefully, “Fu wouldn't do anything he didn't agree with. It's not your fault.”

“I'm sorry.” Sabine said shaking her head lightly.

“For what?” Tom was worried now.

“Fu asked me to take over when he was gone.” Sabine wiped the last tears from her eyes, “I can't be retired anymore.”

Tom sighed, “it'll be ok, Sabine. And listen,” he gave her a smile, “You don't have to tell me anything, our old deal still stands.”

“Thank you.” Sabine went on her tiptoes and Tom leaned down so she could kiss him, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Sabine waited at the bus stop patiently. Her suitcase was sitting in front of her with her bag on top of it. Paris was very different from China, and she had never been more grateful for the small Mandarin to French dictionary tucked inside her pocket. Her brother and her had been to Paris before when they were younger, it was for a cooking competition that her brother had advanced to the finals for. They had had the most delicate pastries while they were here. Sabine wondered if she would eat them again as she was here.

 “Are you Cheng, Sabine?” A beautiful blonde woman appeared in front of her, she spoke in a french accent but her Mandarin was understandable.

“Yes.”

“I’m Celine, Master Fu sent me to pick you up,” Celine smiled, “Ready to meet everyone?”

Paris looked like every postcard she had seen. She had to hold back from pressing herself against the car window to stare.

“Take a left,” Celine sat beside her giving directions to a man dressed in a suit who was driving them.

In Sabine’s experience people associated with the miraculous came from old money. Whether the correlation was only the rich could afford to have no job and have all the time to research the miraculous, or that the old money came from when the miraculous was not so secret and people paid tribute to those who wielded their power. It may have been a combination of both but the result lead to a trend in wealth among miraculous researchers and Celine Allard was no exception to the rule. The car stopped outside a small massage parlor and Celine waited for the driver to open her door.

“The master requested to see you as soon as you arrived.” The blonde explained giving the driver a grateful smile as she stepped out of the car. She waited for Sabine to do the same before opening the door to the shop. “Ready?”

Sabine gave a nod and followed Celine inside.

The shop felt warm and cozy compared to the blonde woman's car. It was full of books and oddly patterned wall paper and the smell of green tea could be smelled from the door.

“Madame Peacock?” An old man peeked around the corner and smiled at Celine, “I see you've brought Ms. Cheng.” He looked over at the shorter woman, “It's good to finally meet you Sabine.”

Sabine gave a bow of her head, “It's an honour to meet you Master.”

Master Fu waved his hand to dismiss her formalities. “I already have a pot of tea ready, come in.”

Celine followed after Fu, as Sabine tentatively entered the main room.

A girl looked up from her book in the corner of the room, “Who’s she?”

Sabine tried to smile politely as Celine introduced her, “And Sabine, this is Amira, the most recent descendant of Asa.”

“It’s an honour to meet you.” Sabine bowed her head respectively. “I was not aware that the current descendant of Asa was in Paris.”

“I brought her here.” Celine stepped forward slightly, “I’m surprised you didn’t know, the news spread fairly fast through the miraculous community.”

“Yeah, ok.” Amira got up and pushed past Sabine waving the book at Celine, “I read the stupid book, can I please go out now?”

“Oh?” Celine looked amused, “What’s it about?”

“You gave it to me, you should know what it’s about blondey.”

Celine didn’t look phased. Amira grumbled something and went back to the corner opening the book to the first page.

“I saw that the car is back, and thought I’d stop by.” Another woman entered the room. She was tall with medium length dark brown hair and the same dark brown eyes. You could see the muscles through her jeans and t-shirt, and Sabine was glad that the woman looked friendly. Her smile lit up her face, which despite her muscle tone was still soft and round.

“Sabine this is Sage Dalton, Sage, Sabine Cheng the new apprentice.”

Sage gave a warm smile and turned fully towards Sabine. It was then that she noticed the distinctive shape of the Fox miraculous on the woman’s necklace.

“It’s an honour to meet you, Volpina.” Sabine gave a little nod again.

“Thank you,” Sage smiled, “I could say the same to you.”

“Oh everything such an honour, don’t you love it!”

“Amira, do shut up.” Sage chuckled and looked over at the girl in the corner.

“Only if you let me out of this stuffy library.” Amira complained tossing the book down on the coffee table.

“Fine,” Celine threw her hands up in defeat but her playful smile said something else.

“God finally!” Amira flew up and was almost out the door.

“You can show Sabine around if you want to get out of the library.”

Another grumble before picking up one of Sabine’s suitcases and trudging down the hall.

Sabine gave a quizzical look to Celine and Sage before picking up her remaining bags and chasing after the girl.

“So you’re going to be the next master huh?” Amira asked as they climbed a flight of stairs.

“Yes. I hope to be.”

“Aren’t you a little young?” Amira gave her a sideways glance, “Aren’t you like 18 or something?”

“21,” Sabine corrected, “And I’m nowhere near to being the new master, I still have years of training to complete.”

“What the hell are you going to learn in years of training? How to make tea? Cause that’s all Fu can tell you.”

“He’s a great Master who has protected the miraculous for decades.”

“He’s on old fart and his house smells weird, and he just smiles at you instead of answering anything.”

“He’s incredibly wise, you shouldn’t be so rude and immature.”

Amira rolled her eyes, “You’ll see what I mean when you start training with him.”

“I’m sure I won’t.”

Celine waited patiently in the backroom of the massage parlor taking in every ancient word, relic, or text she could spot. The sound of the beads that separated the room from the main part of the shop alerted Celine of Fu’s presence.

“Master I know you don’t want-”

“Madame Madame Peacock, why do you think my answer has not changed over the years?” Fu sighed.

“Master-”

“It is because my mind has not changed.”

Celine followed behind Master Fu as he poured himself a glass of water.

“It’s the logical choice!”

“A logical choice? Ms. Cheng is already studying with me, she is already aware of the responsibilities, and the history of our world.”

“She has learned about this world. She is not from it. She didn’t grow up with this as a constant. She will leave it, and when she does you will be stuck with no one to succeed you.”

“Celine-”

“I have been studying and tracking the miraculous since I was a child, I found Amira! I don’t see why you won’t consider it!”

“Celine!” Master Fu rarely raised his voice and the sudden volume startled Celine enough for her to quiet. “I will not hear anymore of this. My decision is final, and it is that. My decision. I will not hear another word against Sabine Cheng. Am I clear?”

Celine stood back, “You are acting like a fool. We can’t keep up this way. We need Tikki and Plagg and we need someone who is strong and educated to find them.”

“Celine. I think it is time you left.”

Sabine understood what Amira meant by Fu’s weird smiling. It had been close to a month since moving to Paris and training with Fu and the other miraculous wielders and Sabine was finding her teachers methods increasingly frustrating.

“I understand, but should the situation ever arise where I need to decide between the two, what should I do.”

Fu simply hummed and poured them each another cup of tea, “In the moment you will have to decide.” And then he smiled wistfully as if guarding some knowledge he refused to tell her.

Sabine almost growled.

“Perhaps we should take a break for now.” Fu suggested and Sabine nodded whole heartedly.

 The streets of Paris were slowly getting more familiar, it didn’t help that she spent most of her time at Celine’s mansion and the rest of it at Fu’s shop, but the little she got out she made the most of. Two more turns and she’d be at the little park near the bakery. She had gone in a couple times and gotten a pastry or a dessert, but she would always take her food and sit in the park enjoying her moments alone.

 She opened the door to the shop and was greeted by the warm smell of bread and sugar. She smiled absentmindedly as she browsed the display cabinet looking for something she hadn’t tried yet.

“Can I help you with anything Ms.?” The cashier asked.

She shook her head, “Just looking still.”

Suddenly there as a beeping from the back, “Pierre can you take the cakes out?” Called the cashier over his shoulder. “Pierre? Sorry Ms, just a moment.”

And with that the man disappeared into the back room.

Sabine returned her attention back to the cabinet.

“I’d recommend the sugar twists.” A voice said behind her.

She jumped a little in surprise and turned around.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” The voice, who belonged to a very tall and largely built man, apologized. “Are you alright Ms?”

“I’m fine,” Sabine laughed lightly, “Just took me by surprise, I thought I was by myself.”

The man looked embarrassed, “Sorry about that. I just thought it was rather sweet of you, deciding what you wanted so carefully.”

Sabine felt a little flustered, “I suppose it might seem a little silly, but it’s the only time I get to myself, I like to savor it.” She looked back at the baked goods, “The sugar twists are good? I’ve never had them before.”

“Delicious, but then again everything is.” The man gave a deep chuckle that made Sabine smile.

“Alright, I’ll take your advice then.”

“I won’t make you wait for Marc, I can ring that up for you.”

The man went behind the counter and started working the till.

“Sir you can’t do that! The cashier is coming back!” Sabine looked worriedly to the back room.

“You don’t understand Ms, I work here.” The man laughed again and Sabine looked at him confused.

“I’ve been coming here for the past month and I’ve never seen you before.”

“Well, I’m usually in the back, being one of the bakers and all.” The man laughed again, his smile bright and kind.

“You make all of this?” Sabine stared in awe at the deserts in front of her.

“Not all of it. It’s my family’s business, but I do a lot of the baking.”

“That’s amazing!” Sabine beamed, “your food is delicious!”

“Thank you,” He smiled widely as he handed her her bag of food.

“How much is it?” Sabine reached into her purse.

“On the house!” The man smiled again.

“What? No really it’s ok-”

“I insist, unless that makes you uncomfortable, but I’m just glad that you like my food.”

Sabine smiled, “Thank you sir.”

“Call me Tom.”

“Sabine.”

“Pardon?”

“Sabine, that’s my name. It was nice to meet you Tom, thank you for the dessert.”

“Anytime Sabine.”

Sugar twists were soon becoming Sabine’s favourite dessert, they were sweet and filling, and they made her purse smell like sugar and cinnamon for the rest of the day, and not to mention they were made by the sweetest man in the whole world.

 Tom Dupain. The other day she had seen him stop and help a lady outside of the shop pick up her groceries. Whenever school let out he would make sure there were extra of any new recipe he was working on to give to the kids. He had a laugh that resonated in the floorboards and in the air itself, and Sabine had never smiled so much as when she was in the small bakery.

 Sabine hit the mat with a thud. “Get your head out of the clouds.” Sabine looked up at Amira.

“Sorry.”

“Where’s your head at?” Amira held out a hand to help Sabine up, which the older girl took.

“Just tired.” Sabine said, “I think I’ve had enough combat training today.”

Amira looked less than impressed, “It’s been 15 minutes.”

“Yeah?”

“Where else do you have to be that’s so important?”

“Nowhere, I’m just going to walk around the city a little.”

“What?” Amira stared at Sabine in frustration, “Why do you get to go out and do whatever?”

“Because I’m 21 and you’re 16.”

“So?” Amira put her hands on her hips, “I can look after myself, besides what gives Madame Peacock and Volpina control over me.”

“Well I’m sure they would keep me inside if they could, but I’m training to be their boss so..” Sabine undid her ponytail and walked to the door, “You could always just take off, not like they could really stop you.”

“Are you sure this is alright?”

“I’m sure,” Tom started kneading the dough expertly, “Besides you’re helping me for free, I can’t see any reason my parents wouldn’t be alright with that.

Sabine smiled and watched Tom’s hands.

“Do you want to try?”

“Oh I don’t know,” Sabine looked sceptically at the dough, “I wouldn’t want to mess up and get you in trouble.”

“I promise it’s fine, you won’t mess up.” Tom stepped back from the table to let Sabine through.

Tentatively she grabbed the dough trying to move her hands the same way Tom had, “What kind of bread is this?”

“Just a simple loaf, easy as pie.”

“I’ve never been good at pie.”

Tom laughed, “Then we’ll have to teach you that too.”

Sabine’s smile was back, “Did you always want to be a baker?”

Tom hummed a yes as he took over for Sabine, “I always liked the taste of baked goods and the smell, and when I would make treats for people it always made them happy, I think it can’t be half bad of a job if it makes everyone happy.” Tom looked over at the small woman, “What about you?”

“I’m in school still.” It was almost the truth.

“What are you studying?” Tom asked getting out a pan for the bread.

“Ancient History and historical artifacts.” Sabine covered again, skirting around the nature of her work.

“That sounds really interesting,” Tom gave her a smile, “I’m probably boring you with all this baking talk then.”

“Oh no, you aren’t!” Sabine assured him, “I think it’s sweet how much you care about your job.”

“It’s not really,” Tom looked flustered, “I’m sure you feel the same about yours.”

“Yeah.” Was all Sabine said.

“So what can you tell me about ancient artifacts?” Tom asked putting the bread in the oven.

“Oh nothing worth telling,” Sabine laughed nervously, “Lot’s of old stuff and no answered questions.”

“I never liked that.”

“Pardon?”

“I never liked when there were unanswered questions, it’s like a cliffhanger in a book that never got finished.”

Sabine laughed, “I guess. Never thought of it that way.”

“Well I hope all of your questions get answered Sabine.”

“The same to you Tom.”

A woman in a long blue dress, with hair a darker shade of her clothing stared into the mirror with a vacant expression. Idly she played with her hair, smoothing it out and twirling it passively between two fingers. She leaned in closer to the mirror observing her eyeshadow.

“I just don’t understand.” Celine was lying on her bed, hanging partially off the edge, “It’s as if after giving me the miraculous he doesn’t want me to use it.”

“I want to go out tonight.” Duusu announced.

“Anything specific?” Celine rolled off the bed.

“I want to try the new technique.” Duusu responded, walking towards her chosen. “Maybe we can find out more on Ladybug.”

“Wings out.”

 Madame Peacock took to the roofs of Paris, her arms spread to glide between the buildings. It smelt like rain, and the brisk air was welcome compared to her room. She peered in every alley she passed over searching them for anything.

She heard a scream and looked down into the alley to her right. There stood two girls backed up against a wall by a group of half hidden figures.

 She didn’t wait a moment before dropping down landing on one of the attackers. Before anyone could recover from the shock Duusu and Celine switched, Duusu taking control of the body and leaping to stand, sweeping the legs out from under a man. The kwami lept back and let Madame Peacock come back. Pulling out her fans Madame Peacock charged at the last man standing. The metal weapon made a sharp sound as it unfolded. Peacock swept her arm towards the man’s torso backing him into the wall.  The second fan was folded and pointed at the man’s neck.

“Please,” The man sputtered, flat against the wall, “Let me go!”

“You have to make a deal with me first.”

“We’re not doing anything!” One of the attackers she had knocked out already stood up and took a sweep at her.

Suddenly Duusu appeared and blocked the man with ease, spinning his arm behind his back.

Celine stood still pinning the other man to the wall, now without the help of her fans.

“Now that deal.” Celine smiled.

 Madame Peacock landed on the window sill of her room and stepped inside before Duusu dropped her transformation.

“Busy night?”

“Sage?” Celine looked annoyed, “What are you doing in my room?”

“Why aren’t you turning those thugs into the cops?”

“How do you know I’m not.”

“I’m the regional lieutenant.”

“Sage, I know what I’m doing.”

“Then share. I want to understand what you’re trying to accomplish by letting criminals go!”

“You’re angry.”

“No shit Celine!”

Celine moved closer to her friend, “Sage, right now we need to find the Ladybug and Black Cat miraculous. That’s the priority. And I can’t find them by myself, I need a large group of people looking for them too.”

“So you recruit these muggers to help you?”

“We make a deal. They report to me, and I let them leave alive and without jail time.”

“That’s not a deal for you to make.”

“Why not? Because I’m not the guardian? Because I’m not Master Fu or Cheng?”

“Because you are not the police and you are not working by yourself.” Sage shook her head, “You are in a team. Act like it. You need to let whatever obsession with being in control go, or it’s going to get you killed.”

Sage left as Celine yelled after her.

“Well?”

Sabine nodded enthusiastically, “It’s delicious!”

Tom smiled proudly, “My own recipe! Do you think they’ll let me sell it?”

“Tom, I think anything you make will sell!” Sabine took another bite, “They’re so good! What did you use in the filling?”

“Apple, cinnamon, nutmeg, brown sugar-” Tom listed before looking up at Sabine and smiling again.

“What?” Sabine frowned confused.

“You have a crumb.” Tom laughed reaching up and gently brushing the flake of pastry from her cheek.

Sabine looked at the ground with an embarrassed laugh, “Not very lady like of me.”She looked up at Tom again as he stared at her face. “What? Do I have more crumbs?”

“No,” Tom smiled at her, “You’re just… Really beautiful.”

“I-” Sabine looked away flustered, “Thank you.”

“Sabine?”

“Yes?”

“Can I take you out for dinner?”

“Yes!” Sabine smiled, and then turned a little red, “I mean, I would like that. A lot.”

“Tonight? At 7?”

“That sounds perfect! Where?”

“At the cafe? Around the corner?”

“It’s a date.” Sabine grinned, “I have to run, I’ll see you tonight Tom.” Sabine stood up and gave a wave before heading down the path out of the park.

“A date. With the prettiest girl in Paris.” Tom grinned like an idiot.

“You’re going on a date with him?”

Sabine just gave a smile as she held up a dress, “Yes, now Celine help me choose.”

“You’re going on a date? Three months in the big city and you’ve already met someone before me.” Celine lamented.

“Celine!” Sabine whined holding up the dress.

“It’s cute.”

“Just cute? Do you think it says I’m trying to hard?”

“I’m going to die alone! No one is ever going to love me! I’m going to be single for the rest of my life.” Celine fell back onto the bed dramatically.

“Could you please calm down?”

“Sabine, I am in turmoil.”

Sabine rolled her eyes with a laugh.

“So? When do we get to meet him?”

“Once we’ve gone on more than one date.”

“Date? You're finally going on a date old hag?” Amira walked in and threw her coat on the couch.

“I’m not that old!” Celine pouted, “And no. Cheng is.”

“Another miraculous historian?”

“No,” Sabine held up the dress again. “A baker.”

Silence fell over the room.

“What?”

“You’re dating someone who doesn’t know about the miraculous?” Amira sat down on the bed.

“Hopefully, yes.”

“You can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because our world is secret for a reason Sabine.” Celine piped in.

“Then I won’t tell him.” Sabine shrugged.

“So he’s just going to think the whole time you’re dating, that you’re just a historian, that every time there’s a superhero fight in Paris, that you aren’t involved at all?” Amira looked incredulous.

“If it’s just a date it doesn’t matter so much, but Sabine, what are you going to do if you fall in love with this guy?”

“I don’t know…I’ll figure it out if we get there I guess.” Sabine looked down at the dress in her hands discouraged.

“That dress is cute.” Amira supplied.

“Perfect for a date.” Celine added.

“You’re not going to stop me from going?”

“It’s your life.” Celine shrugged.

“Like you said, you’re gonna be our boss, I’m not gonna piss you off.” Amira smirked.

Celine stared at the ceiling.

“Tom!” Sabine ran to him as the man fell, the flowers in his hand flying and smashing onto the street.

She didn't look back at the hero's who were still fighting behind her, she just knelt on the ground holding Tom's face in her hands.

“He's not conscious.”

“Sabine!”  Amira grabbed her friend by the arm pulling her to safety in an alley. “Get your head on right! You need to stay safe!”

“He's in danger!” Sabine tried to push past Amira back to the sidewalk.

“Then help us end this.”

“How? What am I supposed to do?”

Amira looked almost angry, “You're going to be the guardian, you can't afford to not know. Sabine this is your life. It has to be, people's lives are in the balance, and if it's not what you want then quit, because you have that choice.”

Sabine didn't respond.

“Tell us what we should do. Lead us, and then when you're done let me know what you chose.”

Sabine nodded and followed Amira out of the alley.

“It's too angry it won't talk to us,” Volpina called from the top of a building across the street, suddenly her necklace started beeping, “Crud.” There was a flash of light and Fanna took over, “Sage doesn't have that much energy and I have none we need to hurry.”

“Give it as many smoke projections as you can, try and tire it out.”

“I don’t have enough energy to bring Volpina back, other than hand to hand there’s not a lot I can do.”

“What do we do?” Madame Madame Peacock landed beside Sabine with a gentle woosh, “We can't open the gate without the Plagg and Tikki.”

“We’ll have to attack it, drive it away as far as we can and hope that the next time it shows we can open the gate.” Sabine said, “Cover Fanna, I’ll get her some honey, Amira, make sure the citizens are safe.”

“Yes.”

Amira ran off and Madame Peacock flew back to the action.

 Amira gave a quick nod before dashing out into the street.

Don’t look back for him, don’t look back. Sabine chanted in her head, willing herself to forget about the poor baker boy who was lying in the middle of the street. Ducking into a coffee shop and making a jump over the counter she grabbed a whole tub of honey. She dashed back out to the street ignoring the angry shout of a barista.

“Fanna!” The fox didn’t even look behind her before diving away from the villain and running towards Sabine.

“Thank you.” The kwami took a fist full of honey and jumped back onto the roof, “Ready to go?” Another orange light flashed and Volpina was back.

“Distract and tire right?’ Volpina pulled out her flute and conjured copies of Volpinas all surrounding the havoc reeking Kwami.

Sabine watched Madame Peacock and Volpina push the Kwami farther and farther back, until it was no longer on their street. She turned and ran to Tom.

“Tom! Tom!” She fell to her knees beside him reached two fingers to his neck. He still had a pulse.

“So this is the guy?” Amira appeared beside her.

Sabine looked up at her, eyes watery, her heart broken. “It’s all my fault, I should have told him what we were doing, I should have warned him-”

“You shouldn't have gotten involved with him.”

“I love him.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Amira-”

“I mean it. You're the guardian, you can’t go spilling our secrets to everyone, you can never be with someone who isn’t one of us. You will never be able to be honest with them, you’d be living a lie.”

Sabine looked down at Tom again, “I don’t want to leave him.”

Amira stood up, “You have a choice, You can stay with us, work with us to save the world and all that stuff Madame Peacock talks about, or you can go with him. You have the choice to live a normal life, with kids and getting married and all that. If that’s what you want, then do it. Some of us are born into this without that choice.”

“Ugh Wha-” a series of incoherent words mixed with groans followed as Tom tried to sit up.

“Be careful,” Sabine reached out and stopped Tom from sit up all the way.

“What happened?” Tom reached up and held his head.

“We were going to our date and some guys tried to mug us.” Sabine explained placing a cool cloth on his forehead.

Tom gave a small sigh at the relief of the cool object, before shooting up again, “Are you okay Sabine?” He looked her up and down checking for cuts and bruises.

“I’m fine Tom,” Sabine laughed lightly, “You fought them off, I think one got you in the head before he bolted though.”

Tom looked around confused, “Where are we?”

“My apartment. You’re going to be just fine Tom.”

Tom looked over at the vase of crushed flowers, “Sorry about our date.”

“I guess we’ll just have to go on another one.”

Tom looked up hopefully, “Another date- You want to go out again?”

“I think I could go on another 50 dates with you Tom.” Sabine laughed again before leaning down and kissing him.

“It’s a deal.”

“The boy isn't around?” Fanna asked trotting out of the bedroom as a fox.

Alya shook her head as she scrolled on her laptop. “He's spending the day with Adrien.”

“Which one is that?”

“The blonde one,” Alya said, “It's the anniversary of his mom's death, so he's a little shaken today, Nino wants to make sure he's ok and occupied.”

Fanna nodded, “That's good.”

“Are you ok Fanna?”

“Can we visit Sage's grave?” Fanna looked up at Alya hopefully.

Alya blinked off the shock, “Sure? I don't know where it is though.”

“You could always ask our new friend.”

“Gabriel Agreste?”

“I think he's the one who buried her.”

Alya pulled up the Ladyblog on her laptop and opened her inbox.

Do you know where Sage is buried? Fanna wants to visit.

She waited for a response and saw the three dots appear in the corner of the chat to let her know he was typing.

The cemetery beside the hospital, she's on the hill next to two others. -A

Thank you. Alya typed back before closing her laptop.

Grabbing her jacket and an umbrella she opened up her pocket for Fanna who floated inside.

The bus was crowded because of the rain, and by the time they reached the cemetery Fanna was tired of being in a pocket.

She floated out and changed into a fox again. As Fanna dashed up the hill, Alya looked up at the tree tombstones at the top. Fanna sat at the last tombstone reading the inscription over and over again, no longer a fox.

“She was so kind.” Fanna was trembling, her lips quivering. The rain was heavy and Alya could see it soaking through her clothes.

“Fanna-”

“Just let me sit here for a moment.” Her voice was softer than normal. Her eyes were downcast. “I never get to say goodbye.” Tears mixed with the rain. “One moment you’re there, and the next you wake up to find someone new who is equally terrified and curious to see you. And you think, it’s happened. They’re gone. But you never get to say goodbye.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why would anyone hurt her?”

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t-” Fanna’s sentence trailed off into silence.

 Philippe Gillet

1982-2010

A friend, and a hero

 Celine Agreste

1976-2010

The light that brought us all together.

 Sage Dalton

1973-2004

The best of friends, and the most just of people.

 “Hello Mr. Agreste.” Sabine greeted politely standing next to him in front of three graves.

“Mrs. Cheng, it's good to see you again. How is business?”

“Good.” Sabine said softly laying a flower next to the rose already in front of the middle grave. “How is Adrien?”

“I don't know,” Gabriel confessed.

Sabine nodded and put another flower down on the next grave, “Amira should be here.”

“Elle should be here.” Gabriel watched as Sabine placed the last flower down in front of the remaining grave.

 “I miss them too.” Sabine said, “the best heroes we could have asked for.”

“The best people we could have asked for.”

Sabine hummed in agreement, “The best people.”

[denial-island-spn]

[Admin Island]

Well after sundown

Megs steps out of her cabin, having spent most of her day catching up on the administrative / business aspects of the island that Suzy and Krys weren’t able to handle in her absence (mostly because of their moral fortitude and desire not to commit any felonies by forging her signature on various things).  While the night air is usually comfortable, the ocean breeze tends to make her feel chilled, and she’s wrapped herself in a shawl in anticipation that she’ll eventually grow chilly.  

She makes her way down the path around the outer edge of the cabins, not even thinking about where her feet are taking her.  It isn’t until she comes across a figure that she realizes she’s headed toward (human) Gabe’s place.  He’s standing just beyond the path, hands in his pocket staring out in the darkness in the direction of the water.  

He looks up when she reaches that awkward distance where she’s too far to be clearly heard over the waves but still close enough where it would be weird not to greet him.  She gives him a small wave, a smile immediately appearing.  The one he gives in return is automatic, weighted, and she knows tonight is not going to end as simply as she has hoped.  

Megs:  *becomes concerned at how quickly he looks away from her once she approaches* Hey.  Everything alright?

(H) Gabe: *keeping his gaze trained in front of him*  I think it’s time we talked about… the things my counterpart alluded to back in Raphael’s world.

Megs: *stiffens as a snarling mass of memories and emotions have her physically reacting to the reminder that place even exists*  Ok.  Um, if you could just hit me with it, that might be best  I tend to do better when these things aren’t drawn out.  

(H) Gabe: *takes a breath, his rising nerves causing him to just blurt it out* You’re a mate and you’re activated.

Megs: *blinks* I’m… Are you drunk?

(H) Gabe: *turns to give her an irritated look* Do I seem drunk to you?

Megs: I mean… you’re not not speaking English right now… but I also wouldn’t say you’re actually speaking English.

(H) Gabe:  *flatly*  I’m being serious.  You’re meant to be paired with an angel and the process for that has been started.

Megs: Ok - I - what?  Why would I be meant to be paired with an angel? *the term he’s used finally sinks into her mind* Wait, mate as in soulmate?

(H) Gabe: Soulmate is misleading in most people’s understanding of the word.  *frowns*  My explanation is misleading.  You have the capability to be an angel’s mate, you are not necessarily meant to be one.  Just like you’re not pre-destined to be with one specific being or even fated to be with anyone.  *catches the confusion on her features*  I… *sighs* It’s complicated.

Megs: *considers what he’s saying* Well… it’s not the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.  *he glances sideways at her, trying to figure out if she’s taking this seriously at all*  Don’t look at me like that.  I’m not joking.

(H) Gabe: Neither am I.  Do you understand that this means?

Megs: Admittedly? Not a damn clue.

(H) Gabe: The simplest way I can explain it is there are a very small number of people in the universe that can have a special bond with one of us.  You happen to be one of those people.

Megs: *takes a breath as she tries, very hard, not to ask him if he’s accepted any special baked goods from the other Gabriel* Define “special bond”…

(H) Gabe: Kind of like when humans get married.  Although a little more permanent and a lot more fulfilling on every level possible.  

Megs:  … Oh.  

(H) Gabe: *finally turns and faces her fully, his brow arching high*  Oh?  That’s it?

Megs: *exasperation and tiredness bleed through the edge of her look* I trust you, Gabe, I really do, but telling me I’m a super special snowflake meant for one of you is a little far fetched.

(H) Gabe: *completely serious*  My counterpart saw it.  All the angels  in Raphael’s compound saw it.  He saw it.  It’s what made you so special to them.

Megs: *finally all the pieces slide into place as she thinks back to all the oddness she encountered* … Oh.  *the color recedes from her face*  I… think I need to sit down.  

(Human) Gabe sees her grow a little wobbly and quickly takes hold of her arms, guiding her over to the steps where they both take a seat.  They sit in silence for several minutes as she processes the information.  

Megs: *Swallows* I - I don’t understand what any of this means… being activated, rituals *her mind starts racing and the rest tumbles out of her mouth as she becomes anxious*  Does this mean I have to be with one of you?  *her eyes grow wider*  Do I even get to choose who I’m with?  

(H) Gabe: Woah, sweetheart, slow down.  Breathe.  You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, mate or not.  Like I said.  It’s not pre-destined.  You aren’t locked into one set path.  You’re just… kind of on it, at the moment.  *he tries to give her a reassuring smile*  The ritual and activation thing, I’ll admit, not the nicest sounding things after our experiences.  But it’s nothing more than a process that’s intended for a mate and an angel to show their intentions and open themselves spiritually so that they can be joined.  

Megs: *trying to keep up as all the pieces of information rattle around in her mind* But I don’t understand.  If I never went through a ritual, how can I be activated like you said?

(H) Gabe: *rubbing the back of his head* Sometimes having a level of intimacy with one of us can… sort of trip the circuit breaker, so to speak.   

Megs: *her eyes become the size of quarters and she looks almost terrified* Are you saying - the Gabriel here and I - we.... *everything shifts as it clicks into place, and suddenly she is furious, her voice rising steadily*  You don’t think this was important information for me to know when I was sleeping with an archangel?  

(H) Gabe:  *becomes defensive, throwing his hands up as his own voice grows in volume*  How was I supposed to know you two were bang buddies until after you decided to renovate your place with his dick? *pauses a moment* Wait, it can’t happen after only -- *his eyes darken* Just how much were you two --

Megs: *jabs a finger into him hard, cutting him off, her voice lowering with warning* None of your god damn business … and you *she jabs him again* should have told me the moment you figured it out.

(H) Gabe:  And how was I supposed to do that, exactly?  *sardonically* Hey, Megs, thanks for overlooking all the terrible things I did and giving me a new place to stay.  Let me put that all in jeopardy by telling you not only are you possibly one of Heaven’s oldest urban legends, but you might be the first one to exist in this world in millenia.  Possibly ever.  *points at her* Would you think I’m crazy?  Because that still sounds crazy to me.

Megs: *her brows draw together and her anger begins to give beneath her confusion*  What do you mean I may be the first to exist in millenia?

(H) Gabe: *gives her an incredulous look* Do you really think I just sat on my hands, waiting for your return every moment of every day since I’ve gotten here?  The library you have sitting around is unreal.  I mean, the access you guys have to information is dangerous.  I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about maybe -- *she gives him a sharp that says now is not the time… or possibly I just need one more reason to justify stabbing you so please, go right ahead and give me one*  -- right.  Let’s save that for later.  *clears his throat* Long story short, I did my research.  The history here is vague, really vague, so much so your flyboys probably would never think to connect the dots… not that there were many to connect before you left… or possibly even now.

Megs: *losing her patience* What the hell does that even mean?

(H) Gabe: The magic or whatever it is that makes you what you are… it’s different here.  

Megs: *sarcastically* It’s different between worlds? What a revelation!

(H) Gabe: *glares and the archangel in him flares bright for a moment as he considers reminding her he’s not a being to be mocked.  He pushes aside his pride, however, and simply let’s it go*  I’m trying, kid.  Little limited these days by the human cognitive capacity *quickly adds* And no.  That’s not some underhanded comment.  It’s just a fact without the extra juice, I run a bit slower these days.  

He takes a breath, fingers digging into the corners of his eyes as he tries to gather his thoughts.  It takes him several moments to find the words adequate enough to relay his thoughts, which always tend to become a jumbled mess when it involves her directly.  He drops his hand, his gaze glancing over toward the nearby light source.

(H) Gabe: Ok.  Let’s pretend, for a moment, you are that torch *he gestures to the tiki torch lit at the side of the path*  At night it’s a beacon.  You can see that thing from clear down the beach.  The closer you get to it, the brighter it is, and the more you can appreciate the real beauty inherent in it’s light. *his voice softens slightly as he looks back to her*  You just can’t help but be drawn in by it.

Megs feels the warmth of his gaze as it jumps across the small space between them directly into her cheeks.  

(H) Gabe:  *he shifts, his eyes glancing back up at the flame*  Now you take that same torch and you light it in the day time.  It’s still there.  It burns just the same as it does now, but you hardly notice it in the sun.  *his eyes close for a moment as he slips back beneath the surface of his own memories*  Compared to many other places, it’s daytime in this world.  *his eyes open again, unreadable as they fall back to her*  And what you are becomes lost within the natural light.  Raphael’s world, in comparison, is the night, and you shine so bright against the darkness of that place… it’s a miracle my counterpart let you leave to begin with. 

Megs: What that Gabe said, about all those colors --

(H) Gabe:  Was true.  It’s unclear if it’s actually your soul or your general being, but whatever you want to call it, it’s you.  Kind of like when a male peacock presents its feathers, trying to attract a mate, you’re advertising yourself as available.  

Megs: You mean unclaimed.  

(H) Gabe: *grimaces* Technically yes, but that term is also misleading.  This entire process is about consent.  Your consent.  A bond will never form unless you choose an angel in return. *his features grow sober, gold muted beneath the weight of the seriousness he tries to impart*  That doesn’t mean that others understand the process, or that they wouldn’t necessarily try to claim you by force.  *Without thinking, he places a gentle finger beneath her chin* You don’t understand what you could be for one of us… it’s possible it’s beyond even my understanding.

Megs swallows, feeling drawn to the glow within gold as it sparks with an affection she’s not used to seeing.

(H) Gabe: All I know is it’s dangerous for you right now and that you need to be careful *as if remembering himself, his hand suddenly falls away, his look becoming tightly guarded*  Around any of us.  

Megs:  *uncertainly, as she watches him continue to retreat within himself*  Even you?

(H) Gabe: *smiles, though the hollowness behind it is unsettling as shadows creep across his gaze, though what’s more striking is the sadness that still lingers around the darks of his eyes, one that’s followed him to this world from his own* Especially me, sweet tart.    

Megs watches as he turns and walks back inside his own cabin.  She pulls her shawl tighter around her and for the first time in awhile, she’s uncertain whether or not she should follow him.

Without warning, Balthazar suddenly appears in front of her.  If he’s tried to make himself heard, she’s completely missed it.  The unexpected appearance has her nearly shrieking, though she manages to hold back on that as she leaps back, hand flying to her chest to keep her heart from bursting through it.

Megs: *testily* Jesus Christ, Balthazar, a little warning next time?

Balthazar: My apologies.  There is a situation down at the main island the vampire insisted you be made aware of.  

The angel holds out his hand expectantly.  She hesitates, her eyes flashing back up to (human) Gabe’s cabin as she thinks about the warning he’s imparted, only to find all the lights are out.  Whatever is wrong clearly cannot wait, not if she’s being sent a personal taxi to take over.  Steeling herself, she reaches out, taking Balthazar’s hand and with a flutter of wings they both disappear.  

[anonymouslywritten]

Late Night Thoughts

Sometimes, I just start to feel weird. There doesn't seem to be any real reason or cause for it, but I start to feel completely and utterly weird. A discomfort settles through my body and my brain. Everything seems wrong. I don't know if this is some sort of dysmorphia, anxiety, the depression... This has been a long stretch for me. I feel as if I don't have a purpose, no real motivations. Which is odd, because I technically do. I want to move in with my girlfriend very badly, and I look forward to just existing with her, being with her, living with her. But there's this persistent dead zone I constantly feel. Like nothing really matters. Is that even a bad thing though? I want to have a job I like and care for the people I love and keep experiencing them and our time together, both the people I know now and potential future friends and family. I finally decided to go outside tonight. The stars bright in the sky and seemingly endless. I sneak out so I don't wake my parents up. I don't think they'd really get it anyway. Maybe I'm just being incredibly over dramatic. Maybe I'm just fucking crazy. The damp grass cushions my bare feet as I step off the porch and the soft sound of the blades bending under my weight is soothing in some way. I make my way to the back yard and stand there for a bit. Craning my neck to see the night sky. A large strip of the milky way is visible tonight and I can't help but feel small and awestruck at its brilliance. There's something about being outside at night. It's calming, but also anxiety inducing. Sometimes I get too paranoid about wild animals or more supernatural things to stay outside long, but this doesn't seem to be a problem tonight. I can hear peacocks crying from one of the many surrounding farms. And closer by something is rustling in the field to my right. I don't feel in danger though and I say fuck it and lay down in the damp grass. Hands clasped behind my head I can almost pretend I'm floating out in the middle of the ocean, nothing but sky and stars in my line of sight. I almost feel like I'm swimming in the night sky, the stars are little plankton that light up when disturbed, sending ripples out into the inky black. The sound of frogs and crickets becomes more apparent and I'm slowly dragged out of the water in my head and back to the feeling of grass tickling my legs and arms. I'm not really sure what I came outside for. To ground myself I guess, but this doesn't feel the most grounding. I wish to be nothing but a ball of energy, free from my body, no societal expectations, no bodily restrictions, free from pain and other nuisances that come with being a human. I could be one of those ancient stars, burning hot and roiling with the raw energy of the universe. But even then I would burn out at some point. Everything ends, most things just don't know when they'll end. I wonder if stars experience something comparable to pain when they die in those massive, violent explosions. They probably aren't sentient though I guess. Although if I was a star, I'd want to go out by blowing up too.  I don't think I'm suicidal. Although I think about it sometimes. I don't really want to die, I'm too attached to things and people where I am. But I do tend to think about how easy it would be, all the stress and unfeeling, and weirdness. The days I feel like shit, anger sadness, pain, anxiety, how easy it would be to just not feel that anymore. Although love and happiness I would probably miss. That is if there's anything left of my soul, being, energy, whatever to even acknowledge that I was dead. Probably not. We probably all just decompose and stop existing the second our brains stop functioning. I don't know. Maybe I am suicidal, and this is just a better time than usual. I would feel too guilty about fucking up the lives of the people I care about though. I think there are a couple who would never recover. I'm just tired. I feel a lot of things most of the time, but then sometimes I don't have anything. Just this dull ache of unfeeling indifference, monotone, gone. Everything is muted somehow, feelings are smothered and I don't like it. I want to be happy and exist like a generally average person, and not feeling things rea;;y sucks. I feel like I wear a mask most of the time, feigning interest in things or avoiding hobbies or thinking about things for too long. There's also the disassociation, I've been reading a lot and I want to tell myself it's a good thing, but really I know I'm just avoiding things and using it as an escape method. I feel so... Small, with the whole world in perspective. Small, useless, broken. I don't know what to do, I need to find motivation to exist. Not to be alive, but to actually function as a person with a life and hobbies and interests, instead of feeling like a sad, overweight nobody who sleeps all day because I don't have the mental energy to do anything else. Every once in a while I catch glimpses of how it could be, but they fade so fast and I can't figure out how to hold onto them. writing this has made me sleepy enough, maybe I'll pass out before the sun comes up tonight. I don't mean to just bitch and complain, but I feel like I've already talked to so many people and the problem just stubbornly refuses to leave. It has to be me at this point, right? what am I doing wrong?  anyway, goodnight for now.

[fey-and-sudden-and-unholy]

Surveything

Have you ever talked to someone online, but when you saw each other in person, it was just super awkward? Have you ever made a really good friend online? Once or twice.... But, most of my friends are people I knew first online, and frankly they’re better friends than almost any of the ones I had before.   Do you enter sweepstakes or scratch lottery tickets or anything like that? What’s the best thing you’ve ever won? Nah.

Right now, would you be upset if you got pregnant, or would you not mind? Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? I’d be incredibly upset.  Then I’d promptly find out where the closest abortionist was and get rid of the reason for being upset.  I have had exactly one scare, and that is a crazy story I do not share lightly.

Have you ever let someone be your everything? Many, many years ago, I was that stupid.  Thank heaven I believe in learning from my mistakes.

Do you have any weird inside jokes? Some.  Mostly between me and my sister.

Could you go the rest of your life without a cigarette? Easily.  I’m allergic to cigarette smoke.

Is there anybody you’re really disappointed in right now? Yes.

Do you have alcohol in your house? A fair bit.  I’m out of port, though.  I should fix that.  And I haven’t bought any absinthe in a long while.  I should really fix that.

Have you ever wanted something you couldn’t have? Who the hell hasn’t?

Are you a morning or night person? Night, all my life.

What is your favorite color? Purple, though I’m generally pretty happy with anything dark and rich and jewel tone-ish.

It’s 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it? Likely no one I know.  (Otherwise, they’d know to text me instead.)

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? Yes.

Has someone ever called you at midnight on your birthday? Not that I can remember.  I have been texted, though.

Are any of your friends virgins? One or two.

Has anyone got on your nerves today? I happened to meet a girl at this dinner thing, who could have if I’d let her.  

Has anyone told you they would never leave, and left? Not that I can recall.

Do you have a member of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? I’m not sure there’s anyone at all that I can tell everything to.

Did you kiss or hug anyone in the last 48 hours? No.

Are you usually early or late? I’m more likely to be early.

What’s annoying you? Nothing, at the moment.  I’m feeling pretty chill.

Do you have anything to pay off? Just got a doctor’s bill from when I got so sick, after Ireland.  That’ll be taken care of soon enough, though.

What are you wearing right now? My work uniform.

Do you know anyone that wants you dead? I’ve never had that impression, but there are a couple people I’d like to see drawn and quartered, as a matter of fact.

Do you believe that regrets are lessons learned? Often, yes.

First color name you can think of that isn’t in the rainbow. aubergine.

What timekeeping devices are in the room you are currently in? My laptop, my phone, my kindle, three work computers , and the clock on the wall.

What gaming consoles do you or your family own? I have a PS2.  Sky has... a bunch. I don’t know which ones.  Probably all of them.

What’s the best job you’ve ever had? The one I have now.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? I spent a few months being a telemarketer, some years ago.  

What email service do you use? Yahoo.

Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in? Just motivational, informational work stuff.  My favorite is on the wall in font of me, just now.  It’s this poster with a bunch of guidelines for good guest service, with a pretty, smiling Asian girl off to the side sort of presenting the info, named Janet.  (So it says on her name tag.)  I have come to depend on Janet.  She’s a good egg, Janet is.  

(Working third shift makes you weird... er.)

Earliest moment in your life you can remember? Sitting on the floor in the apartment at Lincoln Village.  I was drinking coke from a glass bottle, and my dad was moving the new couch into the living room.  When I remarked on this memory, my Mom said I wasn’t quite 3, at the time.

What did you have for dinner yesterday? Salmon with a honey herb glaze I kinda made up on the fly, and couscous. How often do you brush your teeth? Twice a day.

What’s your favorite candy/chocolate? Turkish delight.  Or those fancy chocolates they sell at this one lunch place I know.

Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? Do you have any other blogs currently? I have a side blog for witchy things, and one I’ll mess about RP-wise with from time to time, one for writing.  There’s another I made on a low day, not long ago, I’ve been considering abandoning this blog in favor of,just to have a fresh start, but I’ve not been inclined to commit to that decision, yet.

If you were suddenly really hungry, what would you choose to eat? I’d probably make a sandwich or toast a bagel.

What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of? So, to be a “part” of fandom, do you have to hobnob with other fans?  Or can you just really like the Thing in question?  If it’s 1, I suppose Phantom of the Opera, Doctor Who, Marvel, and Star Wars.  If 2... Jeeze, too many to count.

What kind of position are you in at the moment? Sitting.

Do you wear much jewelry? Sometimes, though I don’t go piling it on.  

Furthest away from home you have ever been? Germany, I think.

How many times have you moved houses? Right around a dozen, if you count all the times my mom moved.  But I was one of those shared custody kids, so there was all this motion on one side, and stability (at least locationally speaking) on the other.

Who was the last person you had a conversation with on the phone? A woman from India calling about rooms.

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? Sure.

Has anyone said they love you in the last week? Sure.

Who was the last person to comfort you as you cried? Jade, I think?  It was back when my cat died.

Which friend are you most similar to? Probably Callie.  It can be scary when we get on the same wavelength X-D

Your ex calls wanting to hang out. What do you say? *click* Would you get back with your last ex if they asked you? See the above.

Have you kissed anyone whose name starts with a M? Yeah.

Would you kiss the last person who texted you, on the lips? No. X-D  

Camping with a ton of friends or hotel with a few friends? Hotel with a few. 

Have you ever kissed anyone who’s name starts with P, J, R, M, C, or D? I... don’t... think I’ve kissed anyone starting with D, but the rest, over the years, yes.

Do you think your ex will ever want to be with you again? I neither know, nor care.

Where would you rather live: England or Australia? England, probably.  I’m not a fan of extreme heat.

What’s your relationship with the last person you texted? My sister.  

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Oh, look, there’s me.  

Do you fall for people easily? Not remotely.

Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? Not really, no.  I don’t make a habit of looking back.

Have you ever kissed someone who was drunk? Not seriously drunk, I don’t think.  Tipsy, though... probably at some point or another.

The nearest window to you now - what color curtains are on them? None, just pull-down blinds.

The shade of the color of your eyes can be described as: I dunno, man, they’re blue.  

When was the last time you drank alcohol? This evening I had a glass of champagne with dinner. 

At what age did you stop believing in Santa? I don’t think I ever really did.  I was under the impression I was supposed to, though, so I pretended to, so as not to disappoint the grownups.  I did things like that a lot, as a kid, actually.  Pretended to be what they expected. (Sometimes just to get by with the minimum amount of fuss, or out of spite, depending on the situation.  I tended to feel like, if they actually wanted to know what I was like they’d quit making assumptions and just... y’know... talk to me, instead of at me or about me.)

Do you own a wok? No.

Is there a particular type of music you really don’t like? I’m less than fond of most Country music,  and I’m not really into a lot of rap.  There are examples of both that I like, but mostly... enh.

Do you like going to weddings? Depends on the wedding.

What do you have on your toast? Lately, I usually use it to make sandwiches.  I keep thinking I should try this avocado toast thing the younger folk like so much, though.  It sounds pretty good.

Who was the last person you know who became pregnant? A work-friend who had to move away because of a complicated situation her husband left her in.

Beach, city, or mountains? Yes.

Do you have a stapler at your house? Nope.

Would you rather read a book or listen to an audiobook? Read, definitely.  

Which is larger - your book or dvd collection? At the moment, DVD, but that will slowly change now that I have room for my book collection to properly grow again.

What is the last spontaneous thing you did? Randomly decided to drive over to this cute little artsy, touristy town to look for a centerpiece for a necklace I was making and have a nice dinner, last week.

What is your middle name? Elizabeth.

What are you passionate about? Art, culture, books, learning, seeing the current regime go down in flames.

Do you have any fears? Who doesn’t?

What’s your sign? Pisces sun, Aquarius moon, Taurus rising.

Future names of your children: N/A

What are you listening to right now? Just the keyboard.

Do you believe in fate/destiny? Somewhat, but not to the extent that we don’t have free will.  We choose how we react to things, and that can create change despite whatever else is going on.

What are your career goals? World traveling writer, and ambassador to Faerie.

Have you ever had a near-death experience? Not as such.

Are you a procrastinator or do you get things done early? Little bit of both.

TV shows and anime you watch regularly. Pretty much everything I watch, I either marathon outright, or just watch off and on.

Halloween costume idea for this year? A scary fairy queen.

How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? Nothing, really.  She knows I’m bi, and that’s about it.

Do you enjoy watching cooking shows? Yeah, they’re okay.

Do you worry about gaining weight? Possibly just a bit.  I am working toward losing, just now.

Have you ever used fake tan? Fuck no.

Do you ever look at someone cute, and automatically make a move? No.  Cute isn’t enough.

How many times have you been to Walmart in the past week? Once.

Do you live in a house, apartment, or another type of arrangement? A house.

Are you kind of a loner? Do you like being alone? Gee, if I weren’t it’d make all those quotes I post about solitude and being an introvert kinda awkward...

Are any of your siblings married?  My stepsister is married to a guy who I apparently went to high school with.  He is continually offended that I don’t particularly remember him.  I think it hurt his pride.

Does your father have any creepy or scary friends you don’t like? Yeah, one.  His oldest friend is kinda sleazy.

What color are the walls in the room you’re in right now? Sort of parchment-y

Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? I doubt it. It really wouldn’t matter, if they did.

Do you have any siblings who still believe in Santa, and are over age ten?Nah.

Something you really want right now? An omelette sounds nice...

If you could seek revenge on someone, would you? One or two, yes, indubitably.

Are you happy with the way things are going? Fairly.

Would you ever get a tattoo? Yes, I’d like to, actually.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? I rather doubt it.

What plans do you have for tomorrow? Visiting my grandfather at the old folks home.  Beyond that, I dunno.

What happened at 9:00 a.m. today? I was asleep.

Do you tend to waste a lot of money? I try not to, but I’ve slipped a couple times, this paycheck.

What did you last drink? Water.

Do you have trust issues? Yup.

Do you think this year will be better than the last? So far, it has been.

Are you a jealous person? No.  Jealousy’s fun to spice up a story, but irl, I detest it.

Do you think age matters in relationships? Sometimes, but not always.

Where will you be 2 hours from now? Still at work.

[topmixtrends]

IN HIS FASCINATING linked novellas The Garbage Times and White Ibis, Sam Pink exposes the absurdity hidden just below the surface of everyday life. In The Garbage Times, this takes the form of a deep dive into society’s underbelly to reveal the grime most people turn away from when walking down the street: homeless people defecating, rats scurrying, pigeons eating dirty food, drug addicts having illogical conversations. It is all there, and Pink won’t allow the reader to ignore it.

The Garbage Times is an homage to the randomness of life, the inevitability of shit, scum, and death, and the beauty that glimmers amid the filth. The story’s unnamed narrator is a man who deals with all manner of absurd behavior as he loads garbage, plunges toilets and sinks, and works as a bouncer at a bar. Despite the character’s peculiarities, readers will likely find his barrage of thoughts, explosive emotions, fantasies of violence, and bursts of tenderness easy to relate to. Most of us, Pink implies, are more like this “crazy” garbage man than we would like to admit as we “plunge” our way through life trying to get rid of the shit — pun intended.

The narrator is diligent in his job. Surrounded by rats and pigeons, he takes on each clog with vigor and an absence of fear or disgust, and this endless drive to clean up the messes of others — shit seems to be everywhere — takes on a hilarious cast. Throughout, Pink’s profanity-laced prose feels fitting, as it places the reader deep in the minds of characters choking on the so-called civilized world’s muck.

In counterbalance to the crassness and moments of violence that punctuate The Garbage Times, Pink’s narrator shows a deep, humanizing love and respect for women and animals. For example, when he returns home to his cat Rontel, one of his main companions, he thinks,

Inside my apartment, Rontel was lying on the stove — his eyes half closed, wagging his tail.

He went to meow but didn’t make a sound.

He stretched, knocking a metal burner off the stove.

“Come here, my little shithead,” I said.

I picked him up and kissed his head four times real quick.

In a really deep and gravelly voice, I said, “Rontel, you a handsome baby!”

He was blinking a lot and licking his snoot, staring up at the ceiling.

Sun lit my room.

Pink’s fascination with animals continues in White Ibis, in which there is a sad, profound moment where the narrator sympathizes with a lizard trying to defend itself against the housecat Dotty, who is slowly killing it by batting it around:

This lizard was for real.

It looked up at her, gill things puffed out, like “All right, all right yeah, big tough guy, let’s have it. [wipes nose] You wanna pick on someone? Yeah ok, all right, pick on me, tough guy, go ahead and — ” but Dotty just mangled it some more.

She left it broken and mostly dead, on its back, barely breathing.

Since the lizard is suffering, the narrator’s girlfriend pressures him to kill it, and he does:

I smashed the lizard’s head with the heel of my boot. Its guts came out its side. Fuck. You tried. You tried. I get it. Sometimes you just gotta pick a place and say, “Right here. Here’s where it happens. Right here.” Gills out, boss, gills out. R.I.P.

The power, humor, sadness, and tenderness in Pink’s writing is haunting when he is at his best, as in this observation of a turtle at a laundromat aquarium in The Garbage Times:

Short bookcases with aquariums on them — turtles swimming in shallow water.

I watched this one turtle trying to swim through the aquarium wall as I dumped a garbage bag of my clothing into a washer.

The turtle made the same sideways swimming motion with both arms.

The same tap of the head against the glass.

Same tiny wave of water bouncing off the glass and coming backwards.

Each time.

Fucking shit.

This is the beauty of Pink’s work — he shows the simple devastations of containment, of beings (in this case animals) living without dignity but still striving toward hope, over and over again, as we all do, wanting things to come out all right. This is the heart of his message, the essence of his book: we will never stop trying to keep moving no matter how confined we are. No matter how random life is, we press on toward something intangible in the distance with only the will to live fueling us.

In this quest for life and dignity is an equally powerful desire to succumb to death. Its inevitability curls underneath each page, hides in each scene. Morbid readers will really dig this book. As will lovers of the absurd, though the magic of Pink is that he turns the absurd to a purpose. The novellas are hilarious and unabashedly honest in showing how bizarre life is, how unpredictable people are, and yet how each person craves love, dignity, freedom — the fundamental needs we all share. In its surreality and sadness, The Garbage Times leaves readers with an impression of characters living in the grime of the world, amid constant violence and despair, yet striving to rise above and make sense of it all.

Pink is a master of dialogue. He nails slang and the odd way people often misuse or mispronounce words, particularly folks who have been traumatized in some way or just talk funny. For example, in The Garbage Times, the narrator frequents a bar where he has a strange affection for the female bartender, who has a bizarre accent that he imitates good-naturedly:

“Stahhp! Quit maykin me laugh! Oh hey, watch [Regular] over dair. He’s doing the hair ting.”

[Regular] was a Vietnam vet who came in every day

[…]

he was whipping his long hair around, and hiking his pants over his huge belly, sitting at the corner of the bar with a group of people behind him.

His face was totally red and he was talking to himself.

The look on his face was so evil.

I laughed.

The novellas, as eccentric as they are, are grounded in scenes with a powerful sense of authority. And some of Pink’s lines are pure gold, encapsulating some universal truth or humorous insight, or both: “And all the animals headed back to their corners, to wait for tomorrow. Hiding from the things with real teeth and power.”

At the same time, Pink can get carried away. There are moments of overindulgence and repetition where the narrator will pick up a thought and run with it too long. But Pink’s audacity in taking risks is admirable. His style is purposefully messy — he is having fun writing and playing with how obsessive the brain can be. He thrills in breaking convention.

The conversational tone only adds to the humor of these novellas. Despite its odd formatting, the book becomes very readable once the reader adapts to its strange, galloping style. Pink takes the reader on an adventure, and there is a mysterious momentum at work in the voice-driven narrative, a Murakami-like invisible hand that guides these characters with a purpose to press on and preserve dignity, preserve authenticity, through a seemingly sordid, artificial world.

In White Ibis, the unnamed narrator admires the strange, titular bird that walks to and fro at the end of his driveway in Florida, the way it shoots judgmental glances and avoids direct contact with anyone or anything. It serves as a symbol for the narrator’s desire to be free of domestication, of playing along, but he’s torn because he wants to keep his girlfriend and maintain some sense of normalcy. So, while he struggles to get a job, attends parties, and carries on normal conversations, the pull of the white ibis strutting around and doing its own thing perpetually calls to him. When he sees it, he thinks, “I really wanted the white ibis to like me and to be my friend. And to its credit, it — seemingly — did not. Ok. Well. Hell, I understood.”

In pondering the nature of the ibis and all creatures that fight for survival, he articulates the theme that links the two novellas beautifully:

The peacock and other weird non-bad-ass birds like the white ibis seemed hilarious, given evolution.

I imagined all creatures at the beginning of time, right before it all begins, in private, devising their offenses/defenses and then coming out into an open field and revealing them.

Into the field of existence with means to survive.

Like hey, check this out, got a big horn on my face!

In the hands of a lesser writer, the narrator would rebel against being in a relationship and the story would implode with bickering. Instead, the young couple in White Ibis seems genuinely happy and in sync with one another, and she accepts his social anxiety as his to deal with.

White Ibis ends on a tender note. A Girl Scout troop holds a sleepover at the couple’s home, and while the narrator at first resists he ultimately enjoys the girls and their exuberance. He empathizes with their fears about being ugly as he is pressured into drawing their portraits (he is known as “the artist”), and as a result finds unexpected meaning and beauty in connection with other alienated humans.

Reading Sam Pink is an unpredictable experience. He hits varied tones and moods, and readers never know where he is taking them next. He’s been labeled “experimental,” but these novellas are just good fiction. He sucks readers in and makes them see the world as his narrators do. His stories are unique and true and impossible to put down — what more could anyone want?

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Taylor Larsen is the author of the novel Stranger, Father, Beloved (Gallery Books/Simon & Schuster, 2016). She teaches fiction writing for Catapult and the Sackett Street Writers Workshop and is co-editor of the literary website The Negatives.

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