#penne is generally my go to

[its-tortle]

top five pasta shapes?

excellent ask, thank you nonnie <3

1. penne

2. conchiglie

3. tortellini

4. macaroni (the big twisty ones)

5. spaghetti

ask me my top five anything!

[poisonlove]

Absolutely ignore/get rid of this is you don't wanna do it buttt

Can I request a Wednesday x Fem!reader where Wednesday has a general disregard for everyone and their feelings EXCEPT for her little situationship (reader) and it's just little instances where she's softer with her?

YOU | w.a

pairing: Wednesday Addams x reader

A/N : I tried to satisfy your request as much as possible but Wednesday and reader don't have a situationship, they will develop... something ;)

"The most precious things in life are usually the most helpless." Penn Badgley

Wednesday Addams walked along the corridors of Nevermore Academy with a brisk yet graceful step, the sound of her shoes against the cold marble determining her hurry to get to the library. The other students stepped aside as she passed, probably intimidated by her dark and menacing gaze that seemed carved into her features.

"Addams, one word"

Wednesday reluctantly stops, turning slightly and raising an eyebrow. Yoko Tanaka strides toward her, sunglasses perched on her head revealing a pleading look. Wednesday had no intention of wasting her time with her roommate’s best friend, but seeing the vampire in such a state of despair piqued her curiosity.

"What do you want Yoko?" Wednesday asked, her tone of voice deliberately rude. But the brunette didn't care at all.

"I need your help," Yoko began, trying to keep calm, but her voice betrayed a certain frustration. "Could you help me with Thornill's homework? I can't find the damn Moon Flower anywhere."

Wednesday could hardly believe her ears: how dare she interrupt her plans for something so stupid? With her classic impassive gaze, the brunette stared at Yoko in a prolonged silence that made her feel more and more uncomfortable.

"I don't care," Wednesday finally replied with venom and disinterest, surprising the vampire. "If you can't do such a stupid task, maybe you deserve to fail," the brunette added in a cutting tone.

"but it doesn't cost you anything!" Yoko exclaimed in despair.

Wednesday's behavior annoyed her deeply, but Yoko had hoped that following Enid's advice to be kind and tolerant would at least provide some relief. Apparently she was wrong.

"I said no, Yoko," Wednesday replied, her tone even more icy. Her gaze was steady and impenetrable, and her patience, already thin, was completely exhausted.

Yoko sighed deeply, realizing that pushing further would get her nowhere. She put her sunglasses back on in a quick, controlled motion, hiding her annoyance behind a forced smile. Her grin revealed her pointed canines, a gesture that might have seemed threatening in other circumstances, but here it only served to hide her irritation.

"ok, Addams"

with one last look, Yoko walked away, keeping that forced smile until she turned the corner. Wednesday didn't follow her with her gaze, already tired of that brief and, in her eyes, pointless interaction.

As she set off again, determined to finally reach the library, she was interrupted again. This time it was her two friends Ajax and Xavier who stopped her. The two approached quickly with an air of urgency that seemed to want to drag her into some other stupid discussion.

"Wednesday, can we talk to you for a moment?" Xavier asked hesitantly.

the brunette stopped again, clearly irritated now. her gaze narrowed to a slit of annoyance as she waited for them to speak.

"I have a problem with my new work... and I think you can help me," Xavier said, trying to be persuasive.

Wednesday looked at both of them coldly, her patience crumbling with every passing second. All of Nevermore ignored her and labeled her as the school freak, psychopathic and creepy... and now, by some strange twist of fate, everyone needed her today? She simply wanted to go to the library to further her research on poisons and their uses , see you , continue writing her story, or go to the cemetery later.

“I don't care,” she replied coldly, hoping Xavier would understand that she felt some urgency in leaving.

"Addams," Ajax intervenes, "I wanted to ask you for advice... you know that I'm interested in Enid and since you're her roommate..." the gorgon continues, purposely leaving the sentence hanging.

Wednesday stared at them in silence for a few moments, her impassive gaze betraying her impatience. "I don't care in the slightest about your problems and if you don't get out of my way immediately, I won't hesitate to make you regret this conversation" the brunette threatens in a low and cold tone.

Ajax and Xavier look at each other in confusion and fear, pondering Addams's words. They both knew Wedsnesday's reputation and the very real danger of being killed by the shorter girl terrified them.

they decided to step aside.

Wednesday continued on her way, completely ignoring them, while the two boys exchanged glances of resignation. The massive wooden doors finally loomed in the distance and the swarm of students' voices faded as she entered the less frequented part of Nevermore.

"WED!" an all-too-familiar voice shouts enthusiastically.

For the third time that day, Wednesday had to stop. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to suppress the killer instinct that threatened to surface and put an end to her blonde roommate's irritating exuberance. She was seriously starting to believe that it was a curse cast by her mother, some sort of psychological torture designed to test her patience. Unfortunately, it was far from her favorite torture, and she focused on something she knew would calm her down: you.

"Wednesday," Enid exclaimed, catching up with her with a beaming smile, "I was just looking for you... The Poe Cup is coming up again and we have to defend the title! You'll be there, right? We can't do it without you!"

Wednesday stared at the blonde, impassive. Entering the Poe Cup again was the last thing she wanted to do, but she knew Enid wouldn't give up so easily.

"I'll think about it," she replied, keeping her tone detached. She didn't want to seem too involved, but she didn't want to completely dampen Enid's enthusiasm either.

"Awesome!" Enid clapped her hands, thrilled by the response. Then she walked away, skipping happily down the hallway.

Wednesday watched her go, mentally wondering how Enid managed to maintain all that vitality. With a barely audible sigh, she finally resumed her walk towards the library. The brunette lifts the corners of her lips as she enters her haven of peace, looking at the shelves covered in books and dust.

the sound of footsteps echoes throughout the library, her figure getting lost among the endless avenues of shelves and books of Nevermore. Her diligently runs her fingers through the tomes, grazing their rough and fragile covers, the wisdom that hides within them. The few students who were there were busy reading or studying among the various desks scattered around that place, the silence broken only by the sound of the pages being turned.

but it is among those shelves that she finally sees: you

she knew basically the essential things about you: your name is Y/N; you are a year older than her, you are Italian, you love blue and your power is to control fire. You were very good friends with Yoko, for some strange reason, and you were a person who despite the aura of mystery and darkness that surrounded you, smiled and was kind to everyone.

she noticed you a few days ago and still hasn't figured out who you are. Were you really that nice? what's really bothering you Y/N?

Wednesday watched you intently, savoring your every move. She noticed the way you brushed your hair back from your face, the smile that lit up your face when you read something that excited you, and even the grimaces you made in response to bizarre or banal passages you encountered.

Some might call it stalking, but she's really just trying to understand you better.

her black eyes never left your figure: you were tall, you had a sharp jaw that accentuated your strong face and you had full lips that were somehow always ready to whisper something provocative or sarcastic. at that moment you had chosen to gather your hair in a messy bun, a practical choice but one that added a touch of carefree elegance to your appearance.

you were struggling with a pile of books that seemed to have a life of its own. Some had already fallen, scattering across the floor. You quickly bent down to pick them up, but each attempt only seemed to make things worse.

Were you disorganized or did your hunger for books make you so careless?

Wednesday realized it was the perfect time to come out of hiding. She approached you cautiously, then crouched down and picked up a couple of books. Her cold fingers landed on Wicked Plants: The Weed That Killed Lincoln's Mother and Other Botanical Atrocities by Amy Stewart, and a thin smile threatened to appear on her lips. She was almost certain that she was the only one, aside from maybe Thornill, who had read that book in the entire school. Finding out that you shared the same literary tastes hit her in a surprisingly pleasant way.

“Here.” Wednesday’s voice was almost a whisper, as if she were intimidated by the idea of an interaction.

your eyes lift from the floor to meet hers.

Wednesday held her breath. They were the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. You looked at her with curiosity, maybe surprise, but there was something in your eyes that made her feel strangely vulnerable.

“Thank you,” you croak embarrassedly, your cheeks pink knowing someone had witnessed your disaster.

“Maybe you should stop devouring more books than you can handle,” Wednesday said venomously. Her words were a wall behind which she hid the slight agitation she was trying to ignore.

you smile. Shouldn't you be annoyed by my answer?

"What's your name?" she asks curiously

Wednesday stared at you for a moment, cold as ever. “Wednesday,” she replied dryly, not giving anything away. But when you smiled again, the brunette felt a shiver run through her mind, one she tried desperately to ignore.

“Happy reading,” Wednesday adds quickly, turning around as she notices the slight look of confusion crossing your face. It was clear that you wanted to continue the conversation, maybe tell her your name, but Wednesday couldn’t stand there beside you without feeling her body boil.

she needed to leave the library and distract her mind

would have continued after the search, with the necessary calm

but there was an unexpected relief in knowing that she now knew her name

just like she knew yours.

A/N: yes I know, very inspired by the YOU series

[thelcsdaily]

Lemon Parmesan Shrimp Penne

An absurdly simple weeknight meal. Simple and delicious dish that can be made in under 30 minutes. It is one of my favorite things to make, and this delicious pasta never fails to make it into my meal rotations. I really love how simple but flavorful this pasta always turns out. It's among my go-to quick dinners on weeknights. This recipe is sure to please those who love to squeeze lemon over everything they eat. The flavor of garlic and basil permeates every bite of this pasta, which is savory from the Parmesan cheese and acidic from the generous amount of fresh lemon juice.

"Pasta does not make you fat. How much pasta you eat makes you fat." - Giada De Laurentiis

[elljayvee]

today's topic: that fucker RoundUp

It's time for more Don't Believe Everything You Read with me, elljayvee!

A friend encountered this the other day: 

This contains a lot of false information and should not be spread around as true. It's scaremongering in the first half and almost entirely wrong in the second half.

I will state my credentials and biases up front: I am an inactive Penn State Master Gardener (which means I have all the education and credentials, but am not currently an active volunteer), I have a permaculture design certificate and an active permaculture garden on my property, and I'm an agriculture & food systems researcher. I also fucking hate RoundUp (aka glyphosate), which I think is very bad, especially at industrial scales. I pretty much think all agricultural inputs have serious problems at industrial scales; RoundUp isn't special. In general, and particularly for home-scale or small-scale ag use, I prefer non-chemical controls; in my own garden I use manual control for all weeds except for poison ivy and tree of heaven, for which I use 2,4-D foliar herbicide. 2,4-D is also pretty nasty stuff, but I use it because unlike RoundUp it's very widespread in my environment already -- some of my neighbors have their lawns sprayed and that's what the lawn companies use. Me spraying a stray tree of heaven once a year isn't even a drop in the 2,4-D bucket of the block. 

Let us take these pieces of Wrong Information from back to front!

Dish soap: people love dish soap in the garden. Just love it. There's mixed evidence on what it can do in the garden but it's completely ineffective against weeds -- the reason it's so popular in garden applications is that it doesn't harm plants. How is something that doesn't harm plants going to be good weed control? Answer: it isn't. It does nothing against weeds. The one thing dish soap is proven to be good at is assisting with aphid control -- the best aphid control is manual/physical control, like blasting aphids off plants with water, and dish soap assists with that and also seems to do some damage to the aphid. Any other pest control involving "soap" almost certainly means "insecticidal soap", not dish soap. 

Takeaway: Unless you're trying to control aphids, don't use dish soap in the garden. (And make sure it's dish SOAP, not a detergeant. In the US, original Dawn is the go-to.) For anything but aphid control, you're just wasting soap.

Salt: No. This is bad. It will definitely help kill some weeds, but it's a bad idea. Don't put extra salt into soil. It's bad for the soil and for the inhabitants of soil; it's bad for water. One cup of salt isn't going to kill a river or a stream or whatever but if you're worried about killing animals, let's just say that poor innocent things like amphibians and worms do not do well in hypersaline environments. Do not use table salt like this. 

Takeaway: Leave table salt out of your garden altogether. You're just wasting salt, messing up soil, and hurting animals.

Vinegar: This is completely fine. Depending on the species of weed you have, it may work very well indeed. However, household white vinegar is only about 5% acetic acid, while horticultural vinegar -- which is sold as a weed killer commercially -- is 20% acetic acid, and works MUCH better on a MUCH wider variety of weeds. It also seems to work best when it is mixed with canola oil. Horticultural vinegar is not as safe for your skin/eyes/etc. and you should follow the safety instructions on the bottle when you use it. If you would like some more information on how well vinegar works to control weeds, you may enjoy reading "Impact of Acetic Acid Concentration, Application Volume, and Adjuvants on Weed Control Efficacy" (Webber et al. 2018). 

Takeaway: Household vinegar in the garden is fine and may work for some species of weeds. Horticultural vinegar works better. Follow safety information when using it. 

Now for RoundUp (aka glyphosate). 

RoundUp will kill pollinators, bees, hives: I will include all invertebrates that seem affected by RoundUp spray in this category. There is good evidence that AT INDUSTRIAL SCALE, RoundUp negatively affects pollinators and other beneficial invertebrates, such as pest-controlling spiders. When applied to a broad area in heavy concentrations, it seems to have lethal effects (particularly in bees who ingest it or come into physical contact with it), and it also seems interfere with reproduction in some bees, wasps, and spiders.

"Is glyphosate toxic to bees? A meta-analytical review" (Battisti et al 2021) is a good meta-analysis about toxicity to various bee species. (It is paywalled, sorry -- but some of its sources are not.) This analysis found that it's easy for bees to get a fatal dose from pollen from sprayed flowers, physical contact with sprayed flowers, or ingestion of nectar from sprayed flowers. At individual garden scale, you are extremely unlikely to harm more than a few individual insects unless you're doing something very weird, like, I don't know, pouring a whole bottle of RoundUp over your patio, or specifically filling flowers with drops of RoundUp. 

Takeaway: In general, I recommend not using RoundUp in your garden. If you do use RoundUp, snip off flowers from the weeds or do not spray the flowers, to avoid pollen contamination and lower the likelihood of bees touching the RoundUp. I strongly suggest instead using manual controls, which is what I do -- I weedwhack and hand-pull weeds (again, with the exception of poison ivy and tree of heaven). 

RoundUp will kill your pets and kids and you: In general, not unless your pets, your kids, or you drink it. This is how it kills mammals: a mammal drinks it. There is some evidence of toxicity to amphibians, but again, this is at industrial scale and high concentrations, not a household preparation used on like 5 weeds in your patio. There is conflicting evidence on whether or not glyphosate is carcinogenic in humans, but the risk -- if it exists -- seems at this point to be low and probably mainly affects agricultural workers who are regularly exposed to a LOT of the stuff.

Takeaway: Secure RoundUp from pets and children. I personally keep garden chemicals in a padlocked plastic box in the garage. If you are suicidal and may drink RoundUp, call your area's suicide prevention hotline or ask someone for help. If you are an agricultural worker regularly in contact with glyphosate in the environment your best resource is probably United Farm Workers (in the US), your local farm workers' org, or La Via Campesina (which is an international farm workers' organization that has taken a stand against the widespread industrial use of glyphosate). 

If you would like to read more about RoundUp toxicity, try: "Glyphosate Poisoning" (Bradberry, Proudfoot, and Vale 2004) and "Glyphosate: A review of its global use, environmental impact, and potential health effects on humans and other species" (Richmond 2018) -- this one is particularly useful because it collates a LOT of research together in one place, so you can get to many, many other articles from it. 

General takeaways: You should take precautions if you use RoundUp not to hurt bees in your garden, but you are unlikely to hurt anything larger than invertebrates if you do use it. Do not use random weedkilling formulas involving random household items in your garden. In particular, dish soap and salt have almost no good garden uses at all and if someone tells you to use them, they are probably misinformed at best. There is a lot of complete bullcrap out there on the internet.

If you want to use organic controls for stuff in your garden, which lots of people do, a good place to start is the OMRI lists. Items on these lists are approved for organic use in the US or Canada and free to download. You can also look for information from Extension in the US about organic controls and home gardening advice; county extension is government-funded and provides a wide variety of free educational material about gardening, forestry, agriculture, etc.

[littledigits]

calling all my character designers! PLEASE WATCH THIS IF YOU WANT TO USE TOONBOOM RIGS OR ARE USING TOONBOOM ON A SHOW this makes a world of difference to your service studio animators. ESPECALLY THE GRADIENTS AND TEXTURES ONE . if you're adding a lot of textures to your designs, collaborate and adjust for the animators wherever you can. It makes a huge impact in quality and "click" milage (aka the amount of clicks used to make something look clean) , and these textures normally have to be super high resolution, which means its not vector and can bog down the scenes hardcore. you want the animators to spend time on animation , not clean up on details. especially when those details can show the 'flatness' of an object. Like no lie it can be the difference between a reasonable show and a nightmare show. Especially if expectations on the speed or quality (or both as they like to do) is high. laughing that they put penn zero as an example here cuz hlijLMEWLKFifmslkdkljsedlfkmsls that entire show was loaded with textures and gradients also follow ZEBIRDBRAIN just in general they are like ,the go-to spot for toonboom tutorials and tips

[rawliverandgoronspice]

The Dondon Post (or: the bizarre TotK's side content counterpoints to its main quest's immuable binary morality)

Speaking of strange TotK Choices, I think I have one singe post left in me about this game; and it's about the Dondon quest, "The Beast and the Princess".

(and about other stuff too, you'll see, we'll get to them)

More specifically: about how... strange of a thematic point it feebly attemps to make in the larger context of the storyline, and how it seems to be yet another mark of a world that, perhaps, once tried to be more morally complex that it ended up becoming.

Buckle up: it's a long one, and it gets pretty conceptual.

(good gem boys notwhistanding)

The Princess and the Beast

So, a couple of things about the setup. We are investigating potential Princess sightings; but at this point, either because we have already completed a bunch and know the general gib, because we have met a couple of wild Fake Zelda shenanigans, or through the simple fact that we are completing a side quest, we know there's a good chance it won't lead to an actual Zelda information. So when we ask Penn about what is going on and he replies with the ominous "we saw the Princess riding some kind of beast --a frightening one with huge, brutal tusks-- that the princess seemed to control", we get Ideas. Then the sidequest is registered: "The Princess and the Beast".

So. You know me. And if you don't know me, here's what you should know: my brain immediately flared up with the thought there was no way in hell this wasn't some kind of wink towards Ganondorf's renowned boarish beast form, especially given tusks were given so much focus.

My first assumption was: that's a miniboss right? I will get to fight some small boar-like thing that Fake Zelda rides sometimes. Cool! I didn't hold too hard onto my hope that the relationship of Zelda and/or Ganondorf to the natural world, or to each other would be expanded upon, since I had already been burned before, but my interest was piqued.

You have to understand how starved I was for any hint of complexity or mystery or ambiguity at this point. I was extremely eager for the game to throw anything at me that would surprise me, enlighten something pre-established, make the exploration lead to a meaningful discovery or deepening of characters, world or themes (and not just slightly cooler loot, or a bossfight, or a puzzle devoid of emotional context --cohesion and depth is what motivates my play sessions, especially in an open world game that I want to believe is worth losing oneself into). This was about the most intriguing task on my to do list at the moment, and so I plunged in immediately.

After really REALLY misunderstanding what I was supposed to do (I stalked every corner of every forest surrounding the tropical area at night or during blood moons in hope to see something --which was very much the wrong call), I arrived to the other stable, then was guided to the other side of the river where Cima awaits and explains that these creatures are actually a new species discovered by Zelda; that they are gentle and kind and not at all scary ("Dondons aren't beastly, they're adorable!"), and even somehow digest luminous stones into gemstones. They like the company of people and liked Zelda in particular.

I was... I felt two different ways about this conclusion, and I think it's worth to explore both: disappointment and some sort of... "huh!" Hard to describe this emotion otherwise.

I'll get the disappointment out of the way first, because it's the least interesting of the two. While I think the little emotional arc I was taken on was not devoid of interest --I was indeed taken on by the rumor and intrigued by its implications-- I wanted, well. A little bit more. And if the creatures were to be Zelda's pet project, I would have loved for them to be actually terrifying and feisty, and for her to develop an interest for these creatures in particular regardless. It could have been very interesting characterization that veered out of the perfect princess loving the perfect world floundering around her, always bringing her clear, practical benefits from the interaction.

(I have made another post that speaks of my discomfort that Zelda does everything everywhere and everyone loves her for it --I get what they were trying to go for, but it either lacks conflict for me to buy into that dynamic at the scale of several regions, or they went on too hard for my taste, as she is, at once and in the span of a couple of years at most: a schoolteacher, a gardener, an animal researcher, a scholar, a traveler, a military expert, a knower of landscape, a painter, a horse rider, an infrastructure planner, a [...] princess --at some point it begins to sound made up, "Little Father of the people"-esque to rattle the hornet's nest a little bit, especially if it's not shown as either a clearly godly characteristic or, even more necessary imo, a negative trait; another expression of her killing herself at work to compensate for a perceived flaw she's trying to earn forgiveness for, like she did in BotW. But that's another topic, and the clumsiness of her character arc has been well threaded by basically everybody disappointed in the story already.)

But, if I decide to be a little graceful, I'd like to explore my "huh!" emotion, and take it apart a little bit.

I think there's something interesting to have such strong parallels to setting up a story about the relationship between Zelda and Ganondorf ("The Princess and the Beast", like come on guys that's the conflict of over half the series), or at least Zelda and the concept of Evil since Ganondorf pretty much represents it in this game, and then have it go: actually, there was a horrible monster that everyone was afraid of, but Zelda was wise and patient enough to approach it and realize its potential beyond the tusks, what beauty can be brought upon the world if one makes the effort to look for what exists underneath. It says something a bit deeper about the world and about Zelda in particular. It intrigues, at the very least.

Is it a reach? Probably! Is my first interpretation that the quest is actually about "eww you thought Zelda would be interested in *disgusting vile monsters* and not sweet and gentle and human-loving animals that literally shit jewlery when cared for? jokes on you, she never would feel any ounce of sympathy for anything that isn't Good and Deserving" uhhh definitively truer? Probably! But I also don't want to dismiss that the quest made me think about it. If I had completed it earlier, I might have even felt like it was (very clumsy, not gonna lie) setup about the main conflict.

But that's also a good segway into my next section: the arbitrary limitations between the animal and the creature, the monstrous and the human.

And the fact that TotK points directly at it.

A Monstrous Collection

(these two guys are just. doing So Much and being So Valid despite being massive weirdos the game wants us to be slightly repelled by. I, for one, respect the Monster kinning grind and their general Twilight Princess energy.)

So. These two guys. There is so much to say about these two guys. I don't think I have seen the Trans Perspective on Kolton on tumblr, and I would love to get it because. I feel like it's a worthwhile discussion (just, how gender and identity is handled in TotK overall, I feel like it's a very complicated conversation and I have not seen super deep dives and I'd be very interested in hearing more).

Beyond the throughline of voluntary consumption of magical objects to turn into less human creatures being a weirdly prevalent plot point in TotK (Zelda, Kolton and Ganondorf casually transing their entire species for funsies --Ganondorf being particularly relentless with Fake Zelda, mummy/phantom shenanigans, Demon King and then literal dragon), I want to focus on Kilton a little bit.

Kilton is genuinely the only NPC in the game willing to acknowledge the inherent personhood that monsters have (the game does showcase them picking up fruits, mourning their boss if you kill them, being cutesy and happy to identify you as one of their own if you wear the appropriate mask --and that's not even getting into creatures like the Lynels, who seem to really edge on the limit of being a conscious creature with a system of honor and property and many other things). He does encourage us to think of monsters as more than a species whose only worth lie in how fun it is to eradicate them; even more, gameplay-wise, he does give us a reason to interact with them in other ways than just our sword with his museum. He does encourage us to see that beauty for ourselves and then select what we think is coolest/most intimidating/cutest/eight billion ganondorfs in every pose imaginable

The fact that Ganondorf is considered a monster was a great win for this feature in particular, and is very funny, but it's also... A lot, if we dig at it a little more than warranted. Beyond all of the Implications and all of the things of representation and political conflict and values already discussed ad nauseum: when did he stop being considered a human? What does that mean about the flimsiness of what is a monster and what is a creature and what is an animal and what is a person and what is even a hylian, as sheikahs got absorbed into the definition in this game? Especially with the stones taken into account, how profound changes in nature are a huge part of the plot (even when reversed and ultimately pretty meaningless): how easy it is, to make that slip? Who decides when that slip has been made? What is acceptable to hurt without remorse? What is beautiful and worth preserving? What is both at once? What is neither?

And again, in a classic Zelda conundrum (appreciative(?)): who the fuck gets to decide that, when, and why?

The Bargainers and the Horned God

(major shoutout to these big guys for being the sole and only providers of actual depth to the Depths, and for looking cool as heck)

So. Let's move the conversation to the Depths.

Conceptually: what an interesting idea!! And so well executed (initially)!! A mirror world to the surface, dark and hushed and full of unknown creatures; haunted by gloom and sickness and the unknown. Not a first in the series, far from it: from ALTTP to ALBW, and even taking the Twilight world of TP into account, this idea of a Dark World acting as a deforming mirror to Hyrule and revealing many interesting aspects as we get to explore both is always a very interesting take on corruption and envy and fear/weakness and/or some sense of darkness looming under the perfect exterior. I'd argue even the Lens of Truth of both OoT and MM's serve a similar function, both gameplay-wise, but also in terms of theme: not everything is as it seems. In the world of Light, darkness must hide itself; but darkness also possess its own beauty, its own hardships, and will stare back at you without blinking if you go seek for it. It's, in my opinion, one of the series' most compelling conversation about the cyclical nature of fate, the coldness of godhood, and how small one feels in the face of a universe that is more complicated than it initially appears --which is why Courage must be invoked to push forward regardless.

The Depth's otherworldly ambiance is truy wonderful, whether in the plays of light and shadows, the creatures native to the environment we meet there (wish we met more!), the soundtrack, the strange aquatic/primordial plants, the fact that the dragons visit this place and connect them to the outside --invoking ideas of balance and interconnectivity, that the tree branches look like veins. The coliseums, the mines, the zonai facilities and the prisons do seem to poke at many things about what the relationship to the past was to this place; was it ever truly a place? Did it look like this back then? Why was it buried? Why did it come back? But in spite of it all, I think the Depths struggle overall to question or reveal anything about the surface that we couldn't already assume going in (that the only thing congealing there is Ganondorf's gloom, his lonely domain of Wrongness, only shared by Kohga and the yiga --the only naysayers of Goodness and Light, contemptful and blinded by self-importance and rage). The zonite is mined by gloomy monsters --why, what for?-- so any notion of greed and over-expansion that could have been associated to the zonai is now reabsorbed into Ganondorf's general evilness, since it needs to be reminded he is everything and anything bad with the world: darkness and conquest and greed and capitalism and pollution and bad weather and sickness and darkness and violence and war and death and betrayal and fakeness and lies and patriarchy and exploitation. No matter that he never does a single thing with zonite in the game; rather set up elements of conflict that never go anywhere than, for a second, let the foundations of absolute goodness and absolute evil risk becoming shaky --and you coming to this unwelcoming dark place that hates you, killing the miners and taking their resources for yourself is, on the other holy, royal fur-covered hand, utterly legitimate. The resources were once Rauru's after all, were they not?

And this is what I would say, except... except for the dead. The fallen warriors, the poes, and, most important of all: the Bargainer statues.

The Bargainers are, in-universe, godly creatures guiding the fallen to a place of final respite, regardless of moral alignment. The poes are all, fundamentally, cleansed of judgement: they are lost souls whose past reality does not matter anymore, and all deserve that peace regardless. In spite of the heavy paradise/hell parallels drawn in that game, with Rauru/Zelda/Sonia as the guardians of Light where Ganondorf gets to become a Devil-like figure, it is confirmed here that no such thing exists when you actually die in this universe.

It almost feels as if the fabric of Hyrule itself, in a brief moment that refuses to elaborate on its own point, goes: "yeah, whatever is happening here between Light and Darkness, it doesn't actually matter. This conflict is futile and doesn't understand the real nature of being alive, dead, a god, a person, a monster, an animal. The truth lies elsewhere --but you will never be told what it is."

It's: wild.

One of the game's most striking traits of narrative brilliance in my opinion --to the point where I'm wondering whether it's there on purpose or was effectively an oversight since every other aspect of reality breaks its own back trying to reassure us that everything is at its correct place, receiving the appropriate treatment by the universe in a way that is never to be questioned.

Another case of that ambiguity being allowed to exist without being immediately crushed and repressed is the case of the Horned God (interesting parallel to Ganon's actual horns that he develops in this game in case the hellish parallels weren't clear enough already): a demon Hylia sealed into stone and pushed far from humans in a clear case of questionable behavior since, while the Horned God isn't exactly nice, does propose a different philosophy you are not punished for exploring; and yet, a proposal that has seen itself persecuted in a very real sense by the goddess of absolute goodness, patron of hylians, Zelda, and many more. Pushed away from view.

Interesting.

And Yet, Light Must Prevail

Okay, so, after all of this, we're left to ask... What the fuck is up with morality in Tears of the Kingdom?!

What do we trust? These half-breaths in the occasional sidequests that Light and Darkness is just the wrong frame of reference, that nature cannot be this simple, is ever-shifting and can be recalled or reaffirmed by arbitrary forces, and might even not matter at all in the universe's fabric, despite having so much of its lore soaking in the dychotomy? Or... everything else about the game, this insistence that Good must not only be assumed as whatever tradition the kingdom has passed down for thousands upon thousands of years, but remain utterly unquestioned the entire time? That Bad is without cause, graceless and unworthy of investment?

Are the Bargainer's statues the only thing worth listening to, that morality is a fable the living tells themselves --or should we be moved when Darkness destroys Light, when Light suffers to preserve itself and the world --but not when the Other is rightfully slain?

Was Kilton correct to see beauty in the monstrous? Was Kolton onto something when he let go of his previous form because there is no clear distinction between what should receive an arrow to the face and what shouldn't? Or should we rather focus on Zelda losing her human form as a beautiful and tragic sacrifice --but something that never actually altered her nature as a hylian, the descendant of a lineage of Good Kings meant to rule forever?

Is the Dondon good because it always was, or was it worth Zelda's love in spite of the fear it initially provoked?

Either way, at the end of the game, evil is slain. Ganondorf is, not killed, but --like his angry BotW boar counterpart-- destroyed, as monsters tend to be. He explodes over the lands of Hyrule, freed from Darkness; freed from everything wrong, since the foreign menace that embodied it all was wiped out in one fateful sweep of a holy blade cradled in sacrificial love. Nothing wrong remains. The Sages reaffirm their vows to protect the kingdom forward, and a very human --hylian-- Zelda smiles: Hyrule now forever and ever basked in eternal Light.

[1dcommunityficrecs]

Rec List: Sports Fics!

Hope everyone has been enjoying the Olympics -- I know I have! There have been amazing performances, emotional records, hilarious memes -- it's truly a unique human experience of community and celebration and accomplishment.

Inspired by that theme, here are some more unique human experiences -- eleven of them! Ranging from under 2000 words to over 100,000 words, fics posted a decade ago (holy smokes) to fics posted just this year, pieces that I know so well they live in my bloodstream to ones I've never heard of and can't wait to try, and even including a rare pair, there's lots of variety as usual, so dig in!

Oh Glory by alivingfire (21027, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

This fic follows Harry, a swimmer, and Louis, a gymnast, at the Olympics.

Reccer says: I love the sense of time and place it evokes.

don't have to go to the pool by Kingsoftheimpossible (12245, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Harry is new to the swim team, Louis is the captain.

Reccer says: This is an absolutely sexy , adorable, efficient, serotonin-boosting fic.

Whirlwind by Dolce_piccante (21311, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

AU. Acclaimed actor, Hollywood heartthrob, and Oscar nominee, Harry Styles, seems to have the world at his feet, but seeks out an old friend when he needs a date for his big night

Reccer says: It's dolce, so it's sexy, it's funny and there is pining.

The Sidelines by RedRidingStiles (47078, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Harry and Louis play hockey for Penn state and can't stand one another, since they can't keep their hatred off the ice their coach and team do what they can to keep their hard earned spot in the playoffs and their two star players from killing each other

Reccer says: The enemies to lovers is done really well, and they're both stupid. It's the perfect combination of interesting plot, comedy, and smut.

Baby Just Dive Right In (Follow My Lead) by LiveLaughLoveLarry (1686, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

Louis and Harry are partners in synchronized diving. Also in life. They're not intentionally hiding their relationship, but somehow no one seems to pick up on their blatant hints.

Reccer says: It's so funny watching everyone brush off the most unplatonic things as just bros and friends and teammates. Like, I know it's contrived for the sake of the story, but also... it's not that far of a reach!

Get Your Head in the Game by tuxlouis (2007, General, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Harry is on a blind date to a basketball game, and the guy he's supposed to be going with is a TERRIBLE date. Fortunately the cute guy sitting on the other side is a much better conversationalist -- and kisser.

Reccer says: Very sweet, very cute, very funny. Harry's original date is such a hot mess it's hysterical, and Louis is such a little shit but that's what I love about him.

Addicted To Your Fix by sunshinebombx (6312, Teen, Liam Payne/Harry Styles)

Liam injures his shoulder shortly before the French Open. He needs to get back in fighting shape, so he's set up with some yoga therapy. It's very motivating how much he enjoys watching Harry do a downward dog.

Reccer says: Harry's flirting is adorable, and Liam's complete obliviousness to the fact that it's genuine is hilarious. I also love the side-plot about how the media is convinced that Niall and Liam are bitter rivals instead of close friends who get that in sports sometimes you win and sometimes you lose and it's not personal.

Glass Closets and Greenhouses by TiredTiredTz (60933, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post

Charlton Athletic defender Louis Tomlinson and worldwide sex symbol Harry Styles are rumoured to be hooking up after a viral video filmed at Harry’s Wembley show was posted online by Tommo’s twin sisters.

Reccer says: This is such a great fic! Sweet, sweet meet-cute, witty banter, and actual Tommo-on-the-pitch scenes!

When the Lights Go Out by thelarenttrap (79269, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post Warnings: Car Crashes

Formula 1 racing drivers Harry and Louis have a history: as childhood competitors, to teammates, to enemies, to eventually lovers.

Hold My Breath by Zarah5 (19749, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Louis is a footballer. Harry is a yoga teacher. Louis doesn't expect to like yoga, doesn't want to like yoga, but... Harry has a way of making it seem not that bad.

Reccer says: Because it's Zarah5 and with her nothing can be anything but fantastic.

Into The Blue by Zarah5 (117218, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Louis is Harry's diving instructor

Reccer says: I honestly think this fic is a classic. A must read. Not to mention it would be a sin

[link-eats-rocks]

I'm super sick and stuck on the couch so to cheer myself up, here's a list of my favorite displays of Link and Zelda being in love. I'm just gonna freewrite as they pop in my head.

Their house, which Zelda has breathed life into, adding flowers and books and pretties. Link's house is filled with Zelda. He is surrounded by her. Zelda being his life, that must be his favorite place in the world.

Those final scenes in BotW where Link holds Zelda while she cries, and then Zelda holds Link while begging him to be okay. I'm a hopeless romantic, and in general few things twist my heart like those scenes.

The last mission of TotK being "Find Zelda", as that is the ultimate goal for Link. He's defeated Ganon and saved the kingdom, but now it's time for his paramount goal.

Also that entire scene like him pouring everything he's got into restoring his Zelda to human form, and then reaching for her and finally catching her to resolve the whole -series since Skyward Sword- I mean game and then holding her close, cradling her head, keeping her safe.

Zelda's first word after eons of mindless pain being "Link".

Link following the quests with Penn to search for Zelda from "sightings", whether he's done the Dragon Tears quest or not. Either way, I sense desperation.

Zelda's face both when talking about and when talking to Link.

The slow up and down look she gives him after some keese fly at him.

Zelda's powers only activating in a moment of passion over Link being in mortal danger.

Okay I am too sleepy to go on. That cheered me up. My ship is so canon 🥰😴

Feel free to add more for me to read while I'm trying not to toss my cookies

Oh! Edit adding:

Warm loving embrace

Warm loving embrace

Warm loving embrace

Warm loving embrace?

Warm loving embrace

[reidsrambles]

Your writing is amazing!!!!

Thank you so much! Any feedback on my writing seriously means the world to me. I do hope to write a full romance novel one day, so this entire fanfiction endeavour is largely to improve my writing!

As a thank you to you and to anyone who follows me or has read my last (aka, my first) fic, I'm going to share the first 1,000 or so words of my next fic, which will most likely be relatively long and in multiple parts. Because this piece is unfinished, this content contained in this preview is subject to change.

Preview (unnamed, release date TBD)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader General synopsis: You and your best friend Penelope Garcia work together as technical analysts for the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit. You and Spencer Reid have developed a romantic relationship since you've started there, but you both have decided to keep it to yourselves in order to avoid external influence from the team and additional complications at work. Unexpected events threaten the sacred secrecy of your relationship and you fear for the future and for the relationships you and Spencer have with your team. CWs (preview): Reader recalls, on page, being shamed for her creative outfit choices in the past. Words (preview): 956

[This preview is entirely SFW, but the finished work will be 18+ NSFW, so keep that in mind. The CWs listed are for the preview only. CWs and TWs for the final story will be posted whenever that is.]

Penelope Garcia finally shows herself at 10:08 a.m. As usual, she rolls into your shared office with the force of a tornado.

“Alrighty, Miss Y/N, we need to discuss the plans for your birthday party soon. I need a guest list because I need to figure out how much food I’m ordering and where we’re going to have it, since your apartment is pretty small and mine is only marginally bigger. I already asked him, and Rossi did say we could have it at his house, so that’ll probably be the best option.”

Before she takes her seat, she takes notice of your scowl and crossed arms, and her face falls. “Wait, what did I say wrong?”

“First of all, Penn, my birthday isn’t for another two months, and I told you that I’m fine with it just being you, me, and the team. Secondly, where have you been!? I’ve been here since nine, and it’s now…” you check your non-existent watch for dramatic effect, “past ten. You didn’t answer any of my calls or texts. Penelope Garcia, unreachable? I assumed that you were, quite literally, dead.”

“Two months is extremely soon when party-planning, I shall have you know! Wait, did I not tell you about that meeting I had with Hotch this morning?” she asks, genuinely puzzled.

Your curiosity is piqued. “No, but spill! Meeting with Hotch? What about?”

Penelope takes her seat, and you slide your swivel chair over to hers. Elbows on your knees and chin resting on your fists, you await her update like an excited child.

“It’s nothing that exciting, unfortunately, my sexy, salacious sidekick.”

“Don’t make me call HR again, Garcia,” you whisper. You give her a quick peck on the cheek and roll yourself back to your desk, only a few feet away, to resume working.

She drops a bomb as if it’s nothing. “Strauss wanted an update on how the team was doing, having two technical analysts. That’s all it was.”

The FBI hired you to work as a technical analyst with the Behavioral Analysis Unit just shy of your 25th birthday. You and your best friend Penelope Garcia met while she was presenting on behalf of the FBI at your then-school and her alma mater, Caltech. You were just starting your final year of undergrad in computer science, but you were unsure of where you wanted to go after that. The presentation was on the various technology careers within the FBI, of which technical analysts are one. You guessed that it made sense to try to recruit from one of the world’s most prestigious universities. She confidently marched up to the microphone wearing a bright pink pencil skirt, pink tweed jacket, and a cat ear headband, and you immediately knew you had to talk to her after the presentation, regardless of what she said up there.

You were always the one, even in high school, who had to match your outfits and accessories to a specific theme or color. You always dressed a bit more out there, and people have specifically chosen to bring it up to you before. In your first term of university, one professor mentioned your outfit as an example of how not to dress in a professional workplace. She was a woman, too. It probably wouldn't have hurt so badly coming from a male professor, but being shamed by a female professor did a number on your self-esteem.

Thankfully, your mom has always been your number one fan and biggest cheerleader. When you cried to her about your experience in class, she gave you the pep talk of a lifetime about how the world needs more people who are authentically themselves to bring color to the lives of the boring. She said you'd be the best computer scientist and look amazing while doing it. Mom's the oil painter, and your dad is an accountant, so the advice was very on par for her but extremely meaningful as well. Seeing another colorful, authentic woman, let alone one with a job at the FBI—which you had always viewed as a stuck-up, cold, and refined place to work—was immensely inspiring.

In addition to talking about technical analysts, she discussed the careers of digital forensic examiners, IT specialists, and computer scientists. She seemed so normal and down to earth, and you felt so excited by her presentation that you were actually taking notes. After her presentation, you headed over to see if you could speak with her. Before you could even start, she loudly gasped and began complimenting your outfit. You were wearing a lemon print sundress that day (since it was so hot), and you paired that with your lemon wedge purse, lemon slice necklace, and a matching yellow headband. Your gray backpack stood out like a sore thumb, but unfortunately, your laptop didn’t fit in your small citrus purse.

Penelope gave you her card, and you two became fast friends, and later, best friends. She really took you under her wing and literally became the older sister you never had. You knew you wanted to utilize your skill set to help fight crime, and right after you finished your masters, Penelope convinced her boss to hire you to work under her. Her cave was cozy with the amount of equipment she had in there, but being her best friend, she made room for you. Penelope had told you about how amazing her team was, but you had no clue what you were truly in for at the BAU.

“So after being here for two whole years, Strauss wanted to know if I was needed or if I could be cut from the team? That’s your idea of ‘no biggie’?” you ask, exasperated.

AO3 | Tumblr | Masterlist | Add yourself to my tag list

[vex-bittys]

When Life Gives You Skeletons: Chapter 1: The Customer Service Blues

One day things can be going (relatively) fine, and the next, you've lost your job, your home, and all of your possessions. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, right? What if life gives you skeletons instead?

(Warning: domestic violence)

The worst part of customer service, in your opinion, is the customers, followed in a close second by the concept of service in the form of appeasing the aforementioned customers regardless of how ridiculous their complaints are. Still, rent, bills, and student loans require funds, so here you are with a friendly smile plastered onto your face asking an elderly woman what you can help her with today. Your eyes dart nervously to the clock on the screen in front of you. Your coworker still hasn't returned from his break, and your shift ends in less than five minutes. That's plenty of time to handle one little old lady, right?

You couldn't be more wrong.

She introduces herself by telling you how long she's been shopping at this store location (longer than you've been alive, according to her) and how she's severely disappointed with the declining quality of her shopping experiences. You apologize, stopping yourself from suggesting that she just shop elsewhere in time for her to scold you for interrupting.

Apparently she intends to monologue about everything that has ever been wrong with the world in general and this shopping trip in particular. She's got quite the laundry list of grievances and no time for your hollow platitudes. Your customer service smile never wavers despite the fact that the last few seconds of your shift are ticking by, and you have a bus to catch to get home.

Grandma Grumps-A-Lot takes issue with the cleanliness of the store (litter in the parking lot!); you nod. There's no peanut butter either (a travesty)! You explain that due to a recall for salmonella contamination, most of the peanut butter had to be removed from the shelves. She sharply chastises you for interrupting again and argues that you (personally?) should have a contingency plan for salmonella contamination. Recalls, you want to shout. Recalls are a contingency plan for salmonella contamination.  You swallow a frustrated sigh. Just. Keep. Smiling.

You spot your coworker returning from his break, but you've already started working with the elderly woman. You can't just walk away while she's in the middle of a sentence, as tempting as the thought may be. Your coworker shoots you a sympathetic glance as he steps behind the service counter. Meanwhile, the agitated old lady has moved on to a new topic.

"I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that new Monster Foods section there in the Specialty Foods aisle! Why would you sell items for monsters? Nobody wants those things shopping at our grocery stores!" She pauses as if waiting for you to agree with her, but you are more than happy to be one more disappointment tacked onto her day.

"We strive to provide the best selection of grocery products to all of our valued customers, regardless of species," you reply in a saccharine sweet voice. Monsters emerged from the Underground over five years ago, and Ebbott City was a melting pot of cultures already. Why did some people still have such a problem accepting them? You'd actually enjoyed watching monster customers start visiting the store! Besides, management hadn't removed any human products to make room for the items; they only reduced the on-hand amount of certain, less-popular items. Nobody really needs to buy sixty boxes of gluten-free penne at a time. Forty boxes is plenty.

The elderly woman scowls, narrowing her already-beady little eyes. "I don't appreciate your tone, Missy! You must be one of those types." She turns to your coworker for confirmation, but he simply shrugs. With no one to support her anti-monster rhetoric, she switches topics.

"You've also raised prices again." She waves her receipt at you as if expecting you to be able to read the tiny print on a moving object. She begins pointing at individual lines of the receipt and listing the price differences one by one. "I'm on a fixed income. I can't afford to spend more and more every month on groceries."

You can relate. You've been feeling the grocery sticker shock just the same as everyone else, so you are genuine in your response, not that it placates her. "I'm sorry, but unfortunately there's nothing I can do about how the store sets its prices."

"Maybe you should call someone over who can do something then," she snaps.

Finally, an opportunity to make your escape! You turn to your coworker and ask him to call a manager over for your dissatisfied customer, then apologize in the same saccharine tone as earlier, stating that you've reached the end of your shift. With the elderly woman still sputtering in disbelief at your flippant behavior, you make a mad dash to the employee area to grab your purse and jacket from your locker and clock out.

A cold autumn rain has already started by the time you leave your workplace. The bus is scheduled to arrive any second now, and you hear the pneumatic hiss of air brakes when you're still halfway across the parking lot. You wave frantically and shout, sprinting towards the bus stop, but the hulking vehicle pulls away before you can reach it.

The person who disembarked from the bus, a cashier from your workplace, shakes her head sadly at you. "Just missed it," she comments unhelpfully, and now you're faced with a dilemma. 

You can spend way too much of your hard-earned wages on a taxi or ride-share. You can wait in the store's breakroom in your cold, damp clothes for the next bus which isn't due for over an hour, or you can walk home in the rain for free. The walk will take you almost an hour, but at least you'll be making forward progress. Besides, it's not raining that hard, and you have a jacket! You decide to walk.

It only takes half an hour for you to seriously regret your decision. The overcast sky causes the temperature to drop to downright chilly levels, and the occasional gusts of wind aren't helping. The light rain has become an outright downpour, leaving you soaked through your jacket and clothes, and you're freezing. You hug yourself, rubbing your upper arms and shivering against the cold. You hope that tucking your purse under your armpit at least keeps your phone from getting waterlogged. It's going to be a miserable walk home.

Thankfully an angel arrives, though he's not what you would have expected in a million years. A car pulls to the side of the road, hazard lights flashing. The driver's side door opens, and a skeleton monster steps out, calling to you over the roof of his very fancy and most likely extremely expensive vehicle. "ya look half drowned 'n three-quarters frozen, human. hop in." Thanks to the rain obscuring his features, all you can see of his face are two glowing red eyelights.

Normally, you'd be wary of a stranger offering you a ride, but monsters are supposed to be kind and gentle by nature… and you are half drowned and three-quarters frozen. You open the passenger side door and sink into the leather seat, closing the door quickly behind you to prevent a deluge of rain from pouring in. The skeleton settles back into his seat, pressing a few buttons to get deliciously warm air blowing on you from the vents. Even the seats are heated, pulsing with a gentle warmth against your butt and back.

The skeleton lets you warm up for awhile before he says anything, and when he does speak, it's a simple introduction. "name's red," he rumbles in a deep, gruff voice. You tell him your name with a small, grateful smile. By this time you've noticed his wide grin of shark-like teeth, including a gold-plated one. It matches the gold spikes on the collar around his neck perfectly. This skeleton definitely has a specific look going for him, but you don't judge. You went through a hardcore sequins and glitter phase in high school that you'd rather forget about.

Red holds out his hand to you, but it isn't for a handshake. He's offering you a business card. You scan the card, then reread it more slowly to make sure your eyes aren't playing tricks on you. RED SERIF, Head Engineer, Research and Development,  Ebbott Institute of Science and Technology. This guy, this skeleton who is wearing basketball shorts and a well-worn heavy jacket that smells faintly of mustard is the head engineer at the most prestigious engineering school in the country? You're impressed, both by the credentials and the fact that you feel completely at ease around this skeleton monster despite a lifetime of warnings against getting into a stranger's car.

Fingers numb, you struggle (successfully!) to tuck the card into your thankfully mostly-dry purse before turning back to the skeleton. You want to avoid an awkward silence, but you can't think of a good conversation starter because this guy is a literal genius. Instead, you eloquently blurt out the first thing that pops into your head.

“I've never seen a skeleton monster before.” Nice. That's sure to impress him. Before you can die of embarrassment, he chuckles in that rough, deep voice of his.

“always happy t’pop a human’s skeleton cherry.” You snort, not expecting the innuendo. The humor puts you at ease.

You're watching him out of the corner of your eye, your curiosity building. “How do you fill out your clothes like that?” You blurt it out before you realize that he might be sensitive about his physique, but he chuckles again.

“ladies dig th’ dad bod.” Red shrugs. “y'can touch it if ya want.”

You happily accept the invitation, reaching out with a slightly thawed finger to prod the skeleton’s stomach. It feels… normal? There's some give, and even through his shirt, you feel a pleasant warmth radiating from him.

“How?” You make exaggerated hand gestures encompassing the entirety of his somehow both skeletal and squishy body. Thanks to the warmed temperature of your skin and the still frigid dampness of your clothing, your gesturing appendages begin to shake.

Red's sharp-toothed grin widens. Lifting up his shirt and jacket to reveal only bones beneath the fabric, he simply says “magic” and winks.

You ignore your increasing shivering to point out the obvious. “You can wink?!”

“so c'n you.”

“I have eyelids!”

With a deadpan look, Red congratulates you on your eyelids. There's a beat of silence, then you erupt into laughter. Now wearing a smug smirk, the skeleton reaches forward, turning the heating vents on his side of the car towards you and cranking the temperature up to full blast. It feels like heaven.

You bask in the added warmth for awhile before resuming the banter. “You trying to cook me before you eat me, Hannibal?”

Red somehow lifts a brow bone, which you are not even going to ask about at this point, before responding with: “knock, knock.”

You answer automatically. “Who's there?”

“chianti.”

“Chianti who?”

“chianti you help me peel these fava beans?” 

The punchline hits its target, and you laugh hard. Red doesn't let up, telling you rapidfire knock-knock jokes until you can barely breathe through your laughter. He switches to regular jokes since you're no longer able to respond to his verbal knocks. You don't even notice how close he's leaning, but then his gruff voice fades to silence.

Suddenly, you find yourself back to reality, sitting in a warm car with a skeleton monster during a downpour… except the harsh pattering of rain has stopped. The clouds begin to dissipate, leaving behind weak evening sunlight that reminds you that you are supposed to be walking home.

Red leans back and settles himself in the driver's seat. He speaks before you manage to gather your thoughts. “now that yer a little drier and warmer, howzabout a ride home?" 

You consider the offer. A knight in oh-so-casual armor has swept in on a dark steed-car to rescue you from the perils of inclement weather, and now he wishes to escort you back to your budget castle? Feeling surprisingly safe with Sir Red Serif, you give him directions to your home and buckle up for the ride.

The middle-class area where you work slowly transitions to the low-income neighborhood where you live. Green lawns become brown lawns which eventually become unkempt patches of dirt in front of high-rise brick apartments and tightly crammed together houses with peeling paint and broken windows. Red’s fancy car stands out amongst the collection of native vehicles which are all older than you and have the rust and dents to prove it.

You aren’t ashamed of where you live. It’s certainly not the worst corner of Ebbott City; it’s just where people live when they’re going through hard times, like you. The rent is cheap, and the sounds of barking dogs and arguing families can easily be drowned out with headphones. Living here means you have the opportunity to save up for something better in the future, hopefully not too far in the future.

“Right here.” You instruct Red to park in front of a rundown white one and a half story house with a piece of plywood covering a missing downstairs window. The lack of a car out front lets you know that your upstairs roommates aren't home. They could be working, partying, or even in jail; as long as they aren't eating your groceries or throwing up on your laundry, you don't particularly care.

You turn to your skeleton chauffeur to thank him for the rescue and the ride, but he's staring at you with such intensity in his glowing red eyelights that you forget how to speak for a moment. He blinks somehow (seriously, does he have some kind of bone eyelids?), and the spell is broken.

“Thank you.” You smile warmly at him, unbuckling your seatbelt though you find that you're in no rush to exit the vehicle.

“don't mention it.” Red waves away your gratitude. “seriously, don't mention it. i gotta reputation t’maintain.” His gruff words and rumbling voice make you chuckle.

A fist slams against the passenger window, instantly killing your laughter. You whip your head around just in time to see your door yanked open, revealing your other roommate, Jay. His face is red with rage, and he's yelling at Red.

“Get the fuck away from her, you fucking freak!” Your roommate grabs your upper arm in a painfully tight grip and tries to pull you out of the car, but you trip and end up hitting the hard packed mud with your knees and free hand. Your shoulder wrenches from the impact. The pain intensifies as he drags you to your feet without loosening his death grip. 

Jay also doesn't stop berating Red who is suddenly right in front of him, snarling in his face. How did he move so fast and so quietly? You don't have time to ponder this great mystery of the universe because if you don't diffuse the situation, these boys are going to start fighting, and Red doesn't look like a guy who loses brawls.

“Go the fuck back underground where you belong!” Jay releases your arm to give the skeleton monster a hefty shove. Red doesn't budge; he doesn't even take his hands out of his pockets. Your suspicions of his badassery have been confirmed.

“ya talk a big game f’r a guy throwin’ a lady around,” Red growls. His eyelights vanish, and for the first time since meeting him, you realize that he might actually be dangerous. “an’ if y'keep it up, yer gonna have a b a d  t i m e.”

Skeleton and human face off, chests almost touching despite the fact that Jay is at least a head taller than Red. The tension of barely restrained violence permeates the air around them. If you don't intervene, you just know something bad is about to happen.

You step between the two posturing males, forcing them apart and bringing their angry focus towards you. Red’s eyelights reignite, and his snarl evaporates. Jay bristles, reaching out to push you aside, but you dodge, not wanting him to set Red off again.

“Red just gave me a ride home because it was raining,” you quickly explain to Jay. Keeping your roommate in your peripheral vision, you then address Red, hoping he understands that you're just trying to keep the situation calm rather than dismissing his kind actions. “Thanks for the ride.”

Turning back to your roommate, you place a hand on his chest, gently pushing him backwards towards your shared home. He grumbles the entire time, and you absently reassure him. Just before you enter the house, you spare a last glance at Red.

The skeleton monster is returning to his car at a pace that can only be described as a trudge. Guilt uses its Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique on you, and you silently promise to find a way to apologize to Red. For now, you've got your sights set on confronting your roommate about his tirade.

The door has barely finished closing behind you, and you're already shouting. “What the fuck, Jay?”

Your roommate throws your words back at you with an added accusation as a bonus: “”What the fuck? How can you choose a monster over me?”

You stare, shocked into a loss for words, but the loss doesn't last long. “I didn't choose a monster over anything! A kind-hearted guy saw me walking in the rain and offered me a ride home. He was being nice, something you obviously know nothing about!”

“I can't believe you fell for that bullshit,” Jay snaps, flopping down on the couch. “Those freaks want you to think they're all sweet and harmless. As soon as we let our guards down, they'll kill us all.” He reaches for something on the coffee table in front of him- a glass bottle of amber liquid. Great. As if his speciesist attitude and short fuse aren't enough, he's throwing literal fuel onto the proverbial fire.

You're too tired, dirty, and hungry to deal with pointless arguments and ridiculous conspiracy theories. As soon as Jay tips back the bottle and takes a long drink, the possibility of reasoning with him goes right out the window… just like one of the end tables went out the front window the last time he drank and started slinging accusations. Hopefully he won't break anything this time.

Grumbling under your breath, you retreat to your bedroom to change into your comfiest oversized shirt, a nice change from your damp, muddy work ensemble. Nobody needs to know you aren't wearing pants; the shirt is long enough that it could be hiding shorts. You creep into the kitchen, ignoring Jay who is yelling at the television for some imagined personal slight. Sure enough, your upstairs roommates have pilfered your supply of microwave meals as well as an entire brand new package of deli meat. Looks like PB&J is what's for dinner.

You munch your sandwich on your way back to your room, and the sweet deliciousness revitalizes you. You fish around in your purse until you find Red's business card, planning to send him an email until you notice that the contact information includes his cell phone number. You dig your own phone out of your purse, and your fingers tap rapidly across the screen. Hooray for texting!

(XXX) XXX-XXXX

You: Hi, this is the soggy human that you gave a ride to earlier. I just wanted to apologize for what happened. My roommate is an asshole and an idiot.

You decide not to wait for a response because the shower is singing a siren song to you with promises of hot, steamy water and luxurious scented soap lather. The shower ends up being so relaxing that you can barely stay awake when you emerge from it. You see a new message alert on your phone, but you ignore it in favor of collapsing onto your bed. Conversations can wait until you've had your hard-earned after work nap!

You awaken with a jolt, sensing that something is off. The door to your room is open, allowing a rectangle of muted light to sneak in from the living room and throw sinister shadows over a hunched figure rifling through the belongings on your nightstand. Even in the dim lighting, you recognize Jay. 

Your room should represent privacy and safety, and Jay's intrusion (while you slept!) makes your stomach churn. You try to leap out of bed, but the covers trip you up. You lurch towards your roommate who doesn't seem to care that you've caught him mid-snoop.

“Get out of my room,” you yell, barely regaining your balance before you crash into him. The strong scent of liquor hits you like a freight train. How much did he drink before deciding this was a good idea?

“Are you fucking him?” Jay's voice is low and angry. He throws your phone at you, and you scramble to catch it before it hits the floor. 

“Fucking? What?” Your sleep-hazed brain struggles to catch up with your incensed roommate's train of thought. Ignoring you, Jay starts digging in your purse again. “Hey!” Unacceptable!

You reach for your purse, but Jay backs away, out of your bedroom and into the living room. You follow him, right as he begins a loud rant, each word carried to you on an alcohol-soaked breath.

“I knew you were going behind my fucking back. Why else would you turn me down?” You manage to snatch your purse, and after a brief tugging match, Jay releases it. You hope things will cool down now. Nope. “Never thought you were a monster fucker though.” Jay's rage explodes. “Fucking traitor!”

As he screams the word traitor, Jay grabs the front of your shirt and slams you against the wall. He lets go immediately, and once again you think that perhaps things will cool down, though you're shaking from the level of violence your roommate exudes.

“Traitor,” Jay snarls again, smashing a fist into the wall next to your head. You clutch your purse and phone to your chest though they offer no real protection.  “Monster fucker!” Another punch to the wall. “Whore!” Jay latches onto your arms and shakes you. This time when he releases you, you're ready. 

Throwing yourself forward, you shove Jay backwards with the entire weight of your body and quickly dart into the bathroom. You barely have time to lock the door before he hurls himself into it, making the entire door shake in its frame. The knob rattles as he tries to open it the proper way. Fortunately, the lock is strong. Unfortunately, the door itself is not.

Jay pounds against the door with his fist, causing the wood to strain and splinter. A rain of kicks and punches further weaken the flimsy barrier. You panic as cracks appear and bow inward. He's going to break down the door!

You fumble with your phone, dropping your purse in the process. Your trembling hands can't manage your stupid unlock screen, and your panicked brain doesn't even register the emergency call button. You need to hurry! A fist smashes through the door. Your phone falls from your clumsy hands as you watch Jay tearing the door apart. You drop to your hands and knees to find it.

This time, you manage to get it unlocked, but Jay is forcing his way through the mangled door. You hit the call button reflexively, screaming at Jay to stop.

There's nowhere else to run. 

Your roommate's hands close around your throat.

READ ON AO3

INDEX | NEXT

[artzychic27]

🏳️‍⚧️Happy Pride From the Recess Class!🏳️‍🌈

Akuma Class

Science Kids

Austin A: Legally Blonde, but Gayer

Gender nonconforming, who has time to narrow down pronouns?

Does everyone’s makeup before Pride with Kendra and Victoria

Dyes his hair pink

Gives free haircuts, paints peoples’ nails, and dyes hair using spray-on dye

They just want everyone to look fabulous, is that so wrong?!

Dresses in only flag colors

Uses his mom’s credit card to buy binders for people

This is the only time of year he makes people simp. Not the other way around

And they are going to use it to their advantage

Dresses her chinchillas in drag

They. Look. Gorgeous.

He somehow escapes the Glitter Wars unscathed

Todrick Hall is her anthem

Austin B: Gaymer Gurl

AroAce and He/Him

Wears Croc Heelys to pride

He wanders off a lot, and it terrifies his boyfriends best friends

Brings Elizabeth III to every pride and dresses her in only the finest fashions

He buys her all sorts of pride-themed cat toys because she’s worth it

When people ask him on a date, Elizabeth III hisses at them

Casually getting adopted by drag queens after he casually tells them about his home situation

He’s granted entry to any drag house when he wants to get away from his “parents”. He’s got six moms now, and he will steal jewelry for them

He met a little girl with yellow eyes like him and she hugged him

All of Marceline’s songs are his anthems

Austin Q: Secret Mom Friend with Mommy Issues

Questioning & He/?

Tempted to put a leash on everyone

Especially Austin B because he won’t stop wandering off!

Austin Q: WHERE ARE MY BABIES?! Have you seen a little bitch in yellow glitter pants?! He’s a little ho, but I love him!

He supplies the snacks Austin T doesn’t make. He’s the main apple slice supplier

He also makes sure to bring apple juice. He just likes apples. “They’re good for you, Armsy!”

Cosplays as every redhead character- Penn Zero, Vicky, Melissa Chase, Mary Test, Black Widow, and more

He joins the muscle-flexing contests and wins a couple

Can carry Austin A, B, and T on his shoulders

Once again, everyone thinks the four of them are a poly couple

Austin Quinlan, Protector of Lesbians, Wielder of the Sapphic Sword, Kicker of Protesters’ Balls

Knows how to do a badass rainbow kick

Austin T: OUT OF THE WAY! I AM VERY GAY!

Gay & He/Him

Bakes all sorts of pastries for everyone and it’s pretty much the one thing everyone looks forward to

Seriously, this boy brings like twenty containers full of cupcakes, cookies, and pancakes (For the pansexuals, of course)

Not even protesters are immune to his cupcakes. But because he’s petty, they only get plain vanilla with no toppings

That’s how disappointed he is in them. Now they feel as though they’ve disrespected every deity

The drag queens, dykes on bikes, and just lesbians in general will kill for this baby

Casually name drops his parents any time a protester screams in his face

He and Jean reenact scenes from Phantom of the Opera

DJ threw a glitter bomb at him, and no one was safe

Wears Huggycake like a boa because she loves all the people, and she scares off homophobes

He met other reptile queers and now they’re having brunch

Lotta Jameson: Kick Buttowski, Queer Daredevil

Aromantic and She/Her

Gerard tinkered with her Vespa, and now rainbow glitter shoots out the pipes

Do NOT give her sugar. Seriously

She somehow sneaks onto floats

Austin Q: Lotta! Get down from there!/ Lotta: Be gay, do crimes!

Brings a baseball bat in case of transphobes

She has a shirt that says so

She did a bike jump over the protesters and dropped bags of glitter on them

Now she’s getting called Amelia Earhart by literally everyone

She got the aviator goggles and they’re pretty sure Amelia is a queer icon… Also, she sometimes goes missing in the crowd. She’s so short!

Austin Q: WHERE’S MY OTHER BABY?! SHE’S THE LITTLE GINGER BITCH IN GOGGLES!/ Lotta: Do you call all your babies bitches?

Kendra Anne Gunderson: Casually Spider-Man Kisses People… With Consent

Polyromantic and She/Her

Kendra is a bit of an icon

Known by all as “Hand-Stand Girl” because she walked only on her hands for the entire event

She has two drag queen uncles and her cousin is a beauty influencer in the queer community

Every time Kendra breathes, a lesbian meets her perfect match

Her eyeliner is on point

DJ lowers her down from buildings so that she can kiss pretty people… With consent, of course

Those two are always getting into some sort of trouble

They spray painted some transphobe’s car and put an egg in the slightly open trunk. It stunk up the car for days

When she’s not pranking protesters, she’s on the mom friend squad with Austin Q and keeping Austin B from wandering off

DJ Detweiler: The Drag Jester

Genderfluid, Bisexual, and He/She

Owns an assortment of pun shirts for every sexuality. No one knows how they come up with them

DJ: I came out to my dad./ Mason: DJ, NO!/ DJ: He told animal control he had a bison in his house!

Always accused of starting the Glitter Wars. She ain’t denying anything

As the name implies, he’s gonna prank the protesters and TERFs

So far, he got a TERF to sit on a whoopie cushion, tricked some dick trying to force himself on an Ace girl into kissing a frog, and made some homophobe think his foot went missing

Heads to drag clubs to do standup, and is probably gonna get a Netflix show when she gets older

DJ: Do you know the difference between a government bond and a homophobe? The bond matures.

Now he’s booked for seven shows throughout the month

He’s got a laugh like Sardonyx that makes people (Especially Mason) simp

Any time DJ laughs, a trans boy gets his soup

Austin Spinelli: Sneaking Out in Ballet Flats

Achillean and He/Him

Casually flirts with any guy he comes across

And he lays the Italian accent on THICK

Dresses in pinstripe suits and says he’s the boss of the Velvet Mafia

When he’s not in suits, he’s dressed in his ballet gear and doing ribbon dances

His splits are flawless

Any time Spinelli does a pirouette, a trans girl gets her wings

Any time Spinelli does a pirouette, a transphobe gets punched

When he’s got the time, and he always does, he does chalk art with the kids, and creates a literal mural

He’s always got time

The organizers loved his work so much, they commissioned a mural for a youth center

Knits beanies for everyone

Gia Griswald: You Ask, I’ll Tell

MtF Trans and She/Her

Her dad went with her to her first pride, and none of the protesters wanted to mess with the six foot tall military general war hero

Gets into flexing contests

Wears rainbow camouflage to every event

If she sees a scuff on your combat boots, she’s gonna clean them

Helped Gerard write his queer history book

In a club with other queer history buffs and they reenact iconic poses from history, but make them gay

She attended a military funeral with her dad during June, and the soldier being burried was a lesbian

Immediately, a bunch of freaks who probably stalked them went to protest. Gia flipped some bastard over her shoulder

Roger Raincomprix, the arriving officer, didn’t see a thing

She eats a crap ton of marshmallows

Victoria LaSalle: Queers on Wheels

Asexual, Bigender, and He/They/She

Decorates her wheelchair with all sorts of pride stickers

Rocks it every year in a crop top

Starts every glitter bomb fight. No one ever sees them coming

She’s just… She’s a goddex

Everyone wants to get a selfie with him. That’s how gorgeous he is

Out of everyone’s leagues

Teaches kids in wheelchairs how to pop a wheelie

Likes to answers kids’ questions

Kid: Are you a robot?/ Victoria: … Yes. Yes, I am.

Only Gerard has the privilege of sitting in his lap as he cruises through the crowd

Gerard Grundler: The Gay Genius

FtM Trans, Pan, Polyamorous, He/Him

He’s written a mini-pride history book with Gia. They got publishers lining up and everything!

Everyone is just so pretty

He bails during the Glitter Wars and takes cover in a coffee shop

Victoria’s gotta keep him from wandering off and possibly joining a cult because the members are pretty

Probably hacked into the medical system so people can have better access to hormones

Faints any time he sees Victoria in a crop top

Dresses in a lot of pride flag sweater vests no matter how hot it is

Victoria: Gerard, it’s ninety-/ Gerard: SWEATER VESTS RULE!

He builds robots to wave pride flags in sync

He and Rochelle protect the bugs

Mindy Blumberg: Opera is Gay as Fuck

Demigirl, Panromantic, They/She

Sings “Rainbow Connection” in an operatic fashion, and leaves everyone in tears

Carries Gia on her shoulders

She carries everyone on her shoulders, but mostly Gia

Will act as a human shield during the Glitter Wars because that’s how much she cares.

But the second Austin T gets his hands on a glitter bomb, she’s out

Hayley Kiyoko is her anthem

If you ask, they’ll hug you

Mindy gives amazing hugs

Everyone will die for this girl

Also, she’s weirdly poetic. It makes everyone wanna listen to her for hours

Is a pacifist, but she’ll give it to you straight if you mess with her friends

Rochelle Weems: That one person at pride who takes pictures of the protesters screaming at queer kids and posts them online for everyone to see

Demigirl, Polysexual, Ze/Zir

Brings zir Polaroid to make a scrapbook and blackmail protesters

Ze’s a rat, but a good kind of rat. The kind who makes sure homophobes and transphobes don’t get away with yelling at queer kids

Was self conscious about zir back brace until ze saw a drag king wearing a bedazzled one

Was roped into letting Austin A, Victoria and Kendra do zir makeup

Ze looked gorgeous!

Ze and Austin B share the good gossip with drag queens

In exchange, they get tickets to shows

Will kill for Austin T’s cookies

Just don’t let zir have too much sugar, otherwise ze will go crazy and start a cult based on cookies where everyone wears Cookie Monster bathrobes

It’s happened once before, and now ze’s under surveillance

Protects the bugs from getting stepped on and then places them in protesters’ hair

Ze saw this one guy about to take a swing at a lesbian, and promptly kicked him in the balls

Now ze’s got twelve new numbers in zir phone

Mason Ewing: The Most Organized Person At Pride

Bigender, Asexual, He/She

Brings a binder filled with horrific facts about conversion therapy to throw in the faces of protesters

Will talk the ear off of any protester about why they’re wrong about everything until they just walk away

Gets carried by DJ on her shoulders

Somehow knows where everyone is at all times

He teaches Rochelle how to walk in pumps and ze teaches him how to steal thirty candy bars

Brings sarcastic coffee thermoses

Paid Gerard to make her coffee maker battery operated, and now she brings it everywhere

She just pins an asexual flag pin on her tie and calls it a day. Though, if DJ asks, she will wear a pun shirt

DJ is the only one who knows how to make her laugh, and Spinelli’s taking bets on who will ask who out first

Beck King: Cosplays As Frida Kahlo

Nonbinary, Achillean, They/Them

The responsible chaperone when M. Grotke’s out of commission

Dyes their unibrow rainbow

Silently flirts with guys using eyebrow language

Cosplays as Clone High Frida Kahlo and the original Frida Kahlo. They just like Frida

Just casually flexing their muscles in front of hot guys, nothing going on there

Then the hot guys write their phone numbers on their hockey stick

Spinelli’s mentor in ‘The Way of the Achillean’

He makes crowns for kids

Any time a protester tries to attack them, they just suddenly disappear

People swear they’ve see men in black drag protesters away from Beck

Seriously, it’s like this guy’s got a whole security detail!

Alonzo Grotke: I Went to the First Pride, and All I Got Was This Brick

FtM Trans, Gay, He/Him

A well seasoned gay

Has a shirt that says “Papa Gay”

He’s total DILF getting hit on by every silver fox. He ain’t complaining, and they sure ain’t complaining when they get a look at his abs with that crop top

Seriously, this guy is ripped

The parade paused when one of the floats got a flat, and he just… He just made a whole bunch of guys simp by changing a tire, that’s all they’ll say

He’s the one keeping people at gay bars from getting roofied by creeps

Teaches meditation at the youth center

He gets hit on by the single dads, A LOT

Back in the day, he stole a police motorcycle and painted it rainbow. He passes out autographed copies of his mugshot because it’s such a good photo

His kids went to spy on his date with M. Monlataing and he pretended he didn’t notice

He passes mini water bottles to protesters since it’s ninety degrees out and he doesn’t want them dying of thirst despite everything

But, he does it with this smirk like, “Looks like I’m the bigger person here, losers. Namaste.”

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Oc! Oc! Oc!

Some yan oc hc with a cute chub GN reader

Yandere Serial Killer

Everyone was on edge. The amount of murders that occurred in your part of town amped up to a debilitating degree; to the point that the general public no longer walked outside. If the lack of people outside was bad enough, your buddy system was failing. Your roommate who worked at the same place used to walk with you from place to place only for them to recently have to move away due to family issues. 

Now you are on your own. 

To work. To school. To the store. You had to move as fast as you could. 

No more than 30…that's what you told yourself

30 minutes to do whatever you had to do before leaving. You couldn’t keep it together any longer. Suffering from the collective paranoia of the entire town you kept to yourself, no friends, no family, you were on your own. Even the people you know that you buy things from no matter how many times they smiled at you or offered their help. They couldn’t be trusted. No one could. 

“Oh (Y/n), how are you today? Everything okay on your walk over?”

It was Penn, the owner of the grocery store that was within 30 minutes. Smiley and bright before the events of the serial killer he was a known favorite. Even so you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything but the typical response.

“I’m fine.”

“How’s your jogging routine going? Are you still doing that?”

You huffed as you continued putting your items on the belt pretending to not hear the question as the same person that subjugated you to it in the first place. Before Mo you were fine with yourself exercising when you wanted and doing as you liked when you liked. But with a person like Mo there was no getting around it. Mo was your landlord, a nutty fellow that had an outward appearance of being a lovely parent over the tenants. In truth they were a crummy old person that liked to practice their helicopter parenting on everyone and her latest victim was you. 

Forcing you to run ‘to fix that weight of yours’ many times you had tried to inform them about the fact this was simply your body shape but she refused to listen. Promising to lock you out of your apartment if you should ignore their ‘advice’ again; you tested them one time and ended up sleeping outside your door before they woke up. 

You saw Penn make a face before ringing up the rest of your items. 

“H-heym you’re looking for a roommate…”

Your head snapped up as you were finishing your payment, as you cautiously asked. 

“How do you know that?”

He was blushing in embarrassment as he shuffled his feet.

“Your roommate suggested I ask you…I’m looking for a place.” Seeing the disbelief on your face he put his hands up in defense.”I-i have the money with me in cash if you want it right away.”

He seemed desperate and for as long as you’d known him never once did you question his character. Was it really okay to break your rule?

______________________________________________________________________

“Thanks so much for inviting me to take a look around (Y/n)! I really appreciate it!” 

Against your better judgement you let him come over and like a puppy he dashed around taking in every bit of the apartment. 

You shook your head as his eyes darted around the vacant room. A smile started to creep on your face as you thought of the possibilities…maybe he could be your new buddy. It’d be a shame if someone deprived you of that in these dangerous times.

Knock

Knock

“Hey (Y/n)! Who’s in there with you?!”

Your door unlocked and in came Mo smelling as if they dunked themselves in the worst smelling 

Perfume they could find. Trudging past you they came to look at Penn who was now also looking surprised at the gremlin who let themselves in. 

“Ohh my goodness is that you Penn? What are you doing here? I doubt they actually took the time to go ahead and invite you over.”

He laughed awkwardly as he sent a worried look over to you before centering back on the fast approaching landlord.

“A-actually they did. They let me come over to see the room I’ll be getting if they let me be their roommate.”

“Oh please, if you need a room I can do that and more for even half the price!”

Was your landlord really trying to hit on and steal your potential roommate? You just rolled your eyes as you leaned yourself on the nearby wall just waiting for Mo to get tired enough to show herself out. Unfortunately she didn’t plan to do that; and ended up attempting to flirt with him for nearly the whole afternoon. Looking outside it was getting dark out and you began to worry about Penn and against your better judgment you intervened. 

“Uhm Mo, hey I think you should be letting Penn leave seeing as it's getting late and a serial killer is at large.” 

“Oh you're such a worrywart (Y/n)! Penn’s a strong man; he'll handle himself. But if you want I can offer my room! It’s a suite–!”

“I-uh actually would rather not..if I was going to stay I definitely wouldn’t  be staying with you.”

“What?! And you’d stay with this chubby kid?”

You were going to blow it off, another statement to ignore but Penn apparently wasn’t having it. The man you’d never see so much as scrunch his eyebrows in anger held your landlord by their shoulders holding them at arm's length with a shadow on his face. Amazed and slightly worried for Mo you stepped in putting a hand on his lower back. Immediately he snapped out of it looking at you and his arms in surprise before releasing your landlord who grunted and angrily stpmped out of your door. You both sat in the silence of relief before you broke it. 

“I-if you do want to stay with me for the night, I don’t mind. And if you wanted to move in that’d be cool too, that is if she still lets you.”

“Ha-ha, thanks and if it's cool I’ll totally move in. But I can get home okay,” he headed for the door before turning with one last smile towards you. “I really appreciate it. I'll text you when I get home.”

“Sure, okay bye.”

You leaned against the door before leaning a bit as you imagined him being your roommate. 

Having someone around that defends you didn’t sound so bad. You shook your head as you went off to complete your chores. After all, you had to do some cleaning before your new roommate may start moving things in. 

____________________________________________________________

“Hah~hah (Y/n)--(Y/n)--(Y/n)-ergh! 

Disheveled and breathing heavily, Penn was sitting with his pants down in the hallway just outside your door. He tried to catch his breath while still replaying the euphoria that he felt just three minutes and 40 seconds before. Not only did he get to see your living space with the lights on but he even got to feel the plush warmth of your hand on his back. Penn growled silently as he thought of why you did but nonetheless it reminded him of his future plans for that night. 

He grinned as he sent the text to you before pocketing his phone and knocking on your landlord’s door. When it opened Penn batted his eyes and puckered his lips like he’d done so many times before.

“Oh Mo, I didn’t mean to be so aggressive earlier! I was just playing with you, I do want to spend the night and I want to do it at your place.”

“Were ya? Well I’ll be, make yourself at home handsome while I freshen up.”

Penn smiled, pulling back his hair and putting on his beloved latex gloves. 

“Take your time dear,” he spotted the decorative knife block on display in the kitchen. 

“Take your time…”

[joanofexys]

Hi! Sorry for randomly dropping anon into ur inbox, but I’m kind of in love with ur oc’s and I was wondering if you could tell me more abt Ilya? Ik u said they’re just some guy from Penn state and for some reason that really intrigues me lol.

Never apologize I love anons and I'm so flattered you like my little guys. Also sorry this is gonna take a minute and there will be many typos cause I'm typing one handed on my laptop while eating an icecream/my cat tries to steal my icecream bar, not that you needed that info

ANYWAY litte recap on Ilya:

22 years old

5'5

he/they, transman

youngest of 4, has all sisters

Played for Penn State

Now plays for Olympic Court

Goalie

Number 7

I haven't decided on what he majored in yet

Yeah he really is just some guy. He's the only athlete really in his family. One of his older sisters ran track in high school, but otherwise their family is full of musician. Dad is a middle school orchestra teacher, mom is a music professor, his sisters all went into the arts. He can play a, quite frankly, ridiculous amount of instruments and he enjoys them all but he's not particularly passionate about it.

His parents signed him up for little league exy because he saw exy on the tv once and wouldn't shut up about it/was begging them to play. His parents just wanted all of their kids to be happy so they caved very quickly and Ilya developed an intense passion for the sport that obviously never went away.

Ilya's oldest sister (Liliya) is 7 years older than him, the other one 4 years older (Kateryna or just Kat), and the sister after (Tanya) that only a year and a half older. They're all incredibly close despite any age gaps while also very much having a dynamic of lovingly bullying each other

Ilya kind of always knew he was trans and they were always in a safe space to express it. His parents used to joke that they had "3 girls and an Ilya" and they didn't even bat an eye when as a kid he went straight for the "boys clothes" and asked to be called a prince instead of a princess and only responded to being called a boy. At school it was different, in elementary school other kids didn't care but the teachers could be weird about it, and then as a teen other kids started getting mean about it. But his parents and their sisters were always accepting and they filled their house with enough love that Ilya never thought about being closeted or pretending to be someone he wasn't.

He gets recruited to Penn State's team as their starting goalkeeper as an openly trans athlete. His team's respectful for the most part. There are some people who just don't seem to get it, but they're never outright rude or transphobic to him. There are sometimes snide remarks and something Not Cool said on accident and Ilya is always quick to correct it and most of his teammates are decent enough to apologize and try to do better

And he talks A Lot about being a trans and generally queer athlete. He's happy to be one of those people out and proud for everyone who can't be. Ilya has always, unapologetically, taken up space. Not even focused on his queerness, just in the way he exists as a person. If he's in a room you're going to know he's there and you're probably going to know their every thought as well.

They care a lot and they take everything to heart. They're very much a "don't cry cause you'll make me cry" type of person. He's much more willing to take on people's pain and share their burdens than he probably should be.

And he has zero filter. While he's absolutely paving the way as a queer athlete and he has a lot to say to the press about that his press time also has to be limited because he will just say shit. He has insulted other teams, insulted specific players, shared information that he definitely shouldn't have, said "fuck" on camera too often to keep count, and a lot more. He is keeping the Penn State vs Edgar Allan Ravens twitter discourse alive and well with all the shit that comes out of his mouth

He makes his best friend his junior year. She's a sophomore named Alice and she's a defensive dealer. Her sophomore year she comes as trans, MTF, and Ilya is the first person she tells becuase he's one of the only queer people she knows. After that they're pretty much attached at the hip and Ilya would kill and die for her. Her family isn't super accepting so he takes her home with him for the holidays. His family becomes hers and they're more than happy to add one more girl to the family.

Ilya makes court right after he graduates and it's with Jude, Em, Mara, Florian. you know the drill at this point. They're the ones I never shut up about. And I think I'll largely be repeating myself and I don't want to be annoying with that so we'll stop there

Some other fun things about Ilya though:

he never learned how to ride a bike. he will never ride a bike. fuck no (he fell over and scraped his knee once and despite all the balls to the head playing exy that was his breaking point for some reason and he never got on a bike again)

he's a cat person

he teaches Florian ASL and it's the main they talk to each other cause Florian likes to go nonverbal

they were such a huge fan of Jude it took everything in them to not be starstruck when the two first met

the two instruments they stuck with were the violin and the piano

they have an addiction to strawberries

is almost always playing jazz music on a vinyl when they're home/have people over

he has a shitty autograph and Flor has begged him to "get better handwriting" since he signs so much stuff but he's fine with it being an unreadable disaster (Florian's autograph in comparison is gorgeous)

he is an unapologetic foxes stan after they win finals

[jeannereames]

Going through other classical fan’s blog on here, I saw one person put forward a theory that Hephaestion was erased from history due to his excessive cruelty, such as him torturing Philotas. Could there be any truth in that? Was Hepheastion uniquely cruel as he became more powerful in Alexander’s empire?

The Problem with Hephaistion’s Erasure

…is that he wasn’t erased. (Or not until later.) It’s perception more than a reality. He actually has quite a bit of mention in Curtius, Arrian, Diodoros, and Plutarch—as much (or more) than any of the other younger marshals during Alexander’s lifetime. This reflects what was present in the now-lost sources written during ATG’s career or in the generation after his death (Kallisthenes, Kleitarchos, Ptolemy, Aristobulos, Marsyas, Nearchos, Onesikritos, etc.).

Yet the notion that he was erased from the historical record is a common one. When I first arrived at Penn State and announced that I wanted to do my dissertation on Hephaistion, Gene Borza told me, “I don’t think there’s enough information in the ancient sources to support an entire dissertation on him, even as a court study.” Then, that very summer, Gene reread the ancient sources for a project of his own, and next fall, he admitted (with some surprise), “He’s in the sources more than I realized.”

(I bit my tongue on, “I told you.”)

So, what’s going on here?

First, Hephaistion didn’t outlive Alexander. Maintaining his memory was not particularly useful to any of the surviving marshals/Diadochi, except maybe Perdikkas, who inherited his position. Yet, like Leonnatos and Krateros, Perdikkas also died (relatively) early in the wars, and the Successors who outlived him (e.g., Ptolemy, Antipatros, Antigonos, Lysimachos, et al.) blackened Perdikkas’ memory.

Ergo, Hephaistion fades into the background until appropriated later by Hellenistic- and especially Roman-era rhetorical schools as part of popular anecdotes and topoi (conventional tales or themes) about Alexander.

Do you know HOW many times the “He is Alexander, too?” story appears? Sometimes positively, occasionally negatively. Same with Hephaistion reading (beside Alexander) a letter from Alexander’s mother. He also gets trotted out frequently as an example of Alexander’s lack of self-control, given the king’s “excessive” grief at his death (which seems to grow with each retelling).

Yet NONE of those has to do with his role as chiliarch or his military accomplishments. Also, in Plutarch—probably the most popular history of Alexander*—we find nothing about Hephaistion as a commander, and little about politics. Plutarch tells us the king sent Hephaistion a little dish of smelts (or sardines); that Hephaistion and Krateros got into it with swords; that Hephaistion blamed Kallisthenes for the failure of the proskynesis banquet; that he ate a whole boiled fowl and drank a pitcher of wine on the morning of his death; and that Alexander called him Philalexandros. But if Plutarch were all we had, you’d never know Hephaistion was named chiliarch!

It’s largely the personal that came down to later historians…and movie-makers like Oliver Stone (or Netflix, even when their Hephaistion historian tells them to give him more to do; at least he got to intrigue with Mazaeus). One must go to the original histories and start making lists to realize just how much Hephaistion appears, particularly post-Baktria.

The man did have a career apart from being the king’s bosom buddy. 😒

As for whether he was exceptionally cruel, three problems complicate determining that: 1) biases in the sources, 2) biases of the people who knew him, and last, 3) simple cultural differences.

Let’s start with the last, as it’s mentioned in the ask. Hephaistion was one of three marshals who interrogated Philotas. To modern readers, use of torture strikes as horrific (as well it should). But in the ancient world, torture during questioning was standard, for some. A slave’s testimony wasn’t even admissible in court unless given under torture. (Otherwise, they believed a slave would lie to save their master.) Torture of arrested (lower-ranking) soldiers in military camp was also the norm, especially by the Roman era.

It’s not the torture itself that’s shocking. It’s who it was performed on: a high-ranking member of the Hetairoi. Arrian glosses over the whole thing because Philotas (Parmenion’s son) was tortured, not because torture was employed.

Also, there were three of them: Krateros, Hephaistion, and Koenos, Philotas’s brother-in-law, who didn’t want to go down with the ship so needed to distance himself (emphatically). Plutarch has Philotas, during the torture, beg Hephaistion for pity, while Alexander listens behind a curtain. Yet Plutarch’s point is what Alexander says regarding Philotas’s lack of fortitude—not who Philotas appealed to. We absolutely cannot trust details like this in Plutarch’s anecdotes! He changes out players, and details, as it suits him. Philotas’s supposed appeal to Hephaistion quite probably didn’t happen.

But did Plutarch make Philotas beg Hephaistion in order to increase the reader’s impression of Hephaistion’s cruelty? Maybe. Yet in Plutarch’s version, it’s Krateros who’s the snake in the grass and out to get Philotas. So perhaps Plutarch is trying to imply Hephaistion was the soft-touch among the three. Despite Plutarch’s overall portrait of Hephaistion, I’m inclined to read it as the latter here. (For my article on the whole Philotas Affair.)

Still, it’s a good example of why just reading these stories and interpreting them with modern sentiments can (sometimes) result in serious misunderstandings.

The other two problems both concern bias, albeit among different groups.

As I just alluded to, our sources paint different portraits of Hephaistion. Plutarch probably has the most “negative” picture, and Curtius the most “positive.” Diodoros and Arrian are more neutral (but sometimes deceptively so, at least in Arrian). From positive to negative, I’d rank them: Curtius, Diodoros, Arrian, Plutarch. (Hephaistion’s barely in Justin, so I ignore him.)

Outside these histories, particularly in Roman rhetorical exercises, Hephaistion appears only in relation to Alexander. By then, he’d become a symbol, not an officer or even much of a person. Just Alexander’s echo: “Alexander too.”

Last, we have the biases of those who knew Hephaistion. I already noted that enshrining his memory was not particularly useful to the Diadochi, so they didn’t. Others may also have had reason to bad-mouth him. But not all, or we wouldn’t have the nicer assessments such as Curtius’s assertion that he was charming and didn’t push his place.

By the end of his life, he was Alexander’s righthand man with loads of power. That’s going to make enemies, and there were men at court afraid of him. Why isn’t clear. Was he fearsome because he was cruel and arrogant, or because he had the authority to break a man’s career (just as did the king)? It seems many of the people who were afraid of him (or disliked him) also feared Alexander. Except Krateros, who’s a special case.

Leaving him aside, we know Hephaistion also quarreled with Eumenes … but so did a lot of people, including rather infamously Antipatros. (Eumenes was also friends with Krateros.) Similarly, Arrian (7.18.1-5) relates that a certain Apollodoros told Alexander (in Babylon) about bad omens concerning him. But first, Apollodoros had asked his brother (a Seer) to sacrifice about Hephaistion, because he feared him. His brother said the omens were bad and sure enough, Hephaistion died shortly after. So Apollodoros asked his brother to sacrifice about Alexander, because he also feared him … bad again. Curiously, Apollodoros told Alexander, and got a pardon for his honesty.

Arrian recounts the story as part of his list of bad omens for Alexander in Babylon, so we’re not told why Apollodoros feared the two but may hazard a guess. Arrian sets the warning in Babylon, but most of the events predated that, going at least as far back as Ekbatana, and likely earlier.

Upon his return from India, Alexander had engaged in a lot of “house-cleaning.” Curtius (and Arrian, et al.) present him as exceptionally savage to some of those left behind to mind the store while he was away in the East. He removed them from their positions and even executed several—all based on negative accounts of their behavior in his absence, milking the populace and such. He supposedly didn’t give these noblemen a fair chance to defend themselves because he’d become easily swayed by flatterers and other courtiers with grudges (and—so Curtius—one of them was even, horrors!, a eunuch). There’s a LOT of Roman anxiety about imperial purges under this, as well as the standard template of growing tyrannical behavior that would (of course) result from Alexander’s Orientalizing.

So, we must interrogate the texts as to whether Alexander was unfairly harsh, or these men had earned their punishment. Even if Apollodoros told Alexander about the omens, it may have been to save his own neck by showing he’s really a “good guy after all.”

The negative press about Hephaistion all arises once he gained power and authority. Perhaps that’s because it went to his head, and he attacked his enemies. But it’s equally possible he went after wrong-doers in the name of the king, and they didn’t like it. After he was dead (and so was Alexander), those people got revenge with a poison pen, like Ephippos of Olynthos.

It might also be a bit of both the above. After all, in ancient Greece and Rome a moral man helped his friends and actively sought to hurt his enemies.

The upshot remains: we just don’t know what Hephaistion was like as a person. Curtius describes him as charming. Plutarch’s portrait is more hostile, but even that isn’t unmitigated. We’re reduced to “hints and allegations.” More specificity about him is what fiction is for. 😉

—————-

* Plutarch’s popularity owes to four things. His Life of Alexander is shorter than Arrian, Curtius, or Diodoros. It’s also heavily focused on personality and anecdotes, which are intrinsically more interesting to the average reader. Thid, it was more readily available than most others (even Arrian). Last, his Lives all lend themselves to reuse in sermons/etc. as moral lessons. A number of the stories that people know best about Alexander come from Plutarch.

[roseapothecary]

News Literacy 101

So after seeing this (great) post and the reactions to it, it's come to my attention that many people on this site weren't taught basic news literacy—and that is NOT your fault. I don't know about other countries, but I do know it's not something we teach widely in the States. Frankly, the people in charge of our education have a vested interest in us being gullible. But that's a whole other post, I guess.

The point is... While I don't want to derail OP's post, I do want to talk about news literacy, how to spot trustworthy information, and why sharing doom-filled posts isn't as helpful as you might think. So, I want to give you a quick question to ask yourself:

Does it pass the SMELL Test?

Source: Where is the information coming from? Is it from a credible and reliable source, like a reputable news provider*?

Motives: Why is this information being presented the way it is? Are they trying to inform or persuade you? Do they use emotionally-charged words designed to outrage, shame, guilt, or scare you?

Evidence: How has the information been verified? Has it been verified? Can it be verified? Do they provide links to credible sources?

Logic: Does the information make logical sense? Look for over-generalizations, flawed comparisons (especially correlation vs causation), and over-the-top accusations.

Left Out: What have they left out? Information left out could change the context. Do you have more questions than answers?

* This gets complicated when we're talking about Palestine due to the fact that mainstream media is spreading Israeli propaganda, but there are MANY journalists on the ground and civilians sharing their experiences—this is a time where social media can actually help spread truth. Prioritize posts from these sources (or that at least link to these sources), rather than unverified text posts... especially if those text posts have no calls to action or resources.

Beware of Manipulation

Some posts are designed to manipulate feelings for likes, shares, or to spread misinformation. They also might fall into performative activism, where someone uses a social platform to shame, scold, or scare others while taking no real action to make change.

While it might feel like sharing these posts raises awareness, it often ends up spreading feelings of despair, which can discourage meaningful action. It even makes people more susceptible to conspiracy theories and misinformation.

Young people are once again talking about not voting because "there's no point," "the system is rigged," etc. after doom posts about the 2024 Republican platform started going around on this site. People are catastrophizing about AI, derailing realistic conversations instead of encouraging people to take action by demanding regulation. People are scrolling and sharing emotionally-charged posts about Palestine, then not participating in boycotts or emailing their representatives, or taking other meaningful actions.

TLDR; if a post doesn't have a reliable, verifiable source, has a scolding or hopeless message, makes sweeping accusations or generalizations, and/or has no suggestions for action, think twice before reblogging it. It may do more harm than good.

For more resources on news literacy, check out:

Center for News Literacy

The News Literacy Project

and Penn State's news literacy education.

[foxufortunes]

So like, I was gonna add this onto my post about the Raven's win percentage and how that compared to lacrosse with NCAA Exy and NCAA Lacrosse being about the same age, but I figured I'd put it here so everyone can see, because this is what I mean about the exy timeline being complicated and why zero losses makes sense over 30 years.

And yes, I know AFTG is not aiming for hyper realism grounded in reality, but I like figuring out a cohesive timeline for things like fics it's TRC all over again. Also I just like to think way too deep about this things, and if I'm descending into madness over these things you're coming with me.

That said, the timeline of exy and Evermore as much as I can make sense of it:

So, the exy/Evermore timeline in kind of a mess and a great example of how adding more makes something make less sense. What we're going to do is take the books at their most concrete fact and say that Tetsuji and Kayleigh invented exy 30 years pre-canon, and for ease of timeline we'll call it exactly 30years. So, here we go:

So our base line in 1976 (for the record NCAA Lacrosse was formed 1971, this is what I mean when I say they're roughly the same age). Tetsuji and Kayleigh were in university and in Japan, but it's not clear at what point in their studies they were and how long they had left to go at university.

Nora's EC says that Tetsuji was reaching out to the NCAA before he graduated. During his last semester he was reaching out promising funding and himself as a coach. So this is, at most a few years after exy was created unless Tetsuji had the slowest university career ever.

The next fall semester NCAA Exy officially starts with Ravens vs Trojans at Castle Evermore. So, as I've said before, the Big 3 were in on the ground floor. This is why they're so dominant, but that they started with the Ravens means they should be more competitive. The Raven's won the first match 13-12 and if it's that close at the start, the idea that the Raven's undefeated 20year+ streak is because they've been around longer loses all ground.

Evermore was the first stadium completed, followed by the Golden Court for the Trojans and Pride Court for Penn State Lions (which is such a cute name, I want a book on them please Nora). Pride Court was delayed but Penn State kept up training, while USC and EAU had their courts built at impossible speed. For reference, building a sports stadium, from first plans to completion is at speed roughly an 18month endeavour, if everything goes right, but depending on how you read the point above this could be just a few months. Either way, it's very fast. Other universities had pop up stadiums or played at the bigger stadiums of the Big 3 or local stadiums until theirs were complete. Ironically, given his apparent treatment of his female players, a lot of Tetsuji's funding came from getting women on board, promoting how co-ed the sport was.

The first pro teams were formed around the first graduates from the NCAA league. So 5 years after Evermore and we get a professional league.

And the US Court 2 years after. So 7 years from the start of the NCAA competition and we get a national team.

Then exy is in the Olympics the next year. So 8 years from the first NCAA game for exy to be Olympic recognised (a generous estimate makes that 1988, 1992 at a push, 14-18 years pre-canon and roughly a decade pre-foundation of the Foxes).

The problem with all this, of course, being that the book in only chapter 2 of TFC says that Kevin (born in 1986) and Riko were around with Tetsuji when Evemore was still in the blueprint stage.

Now, there's a couple of way I can think to maybe square this all. Firstly, obviously the 30years is a rough but that should mean closer to 30 than anything else, but to be generous either way, we're looking at between '71 (35years pre-canon) and '81 (25years pre-canon) and the later timeline can square a little better. It's also possible our Castle Evermore is a new stadium and the first Castle Evermore is an old one they've knocked down and replaced at the new one is the one Kevin and Riko were around for. It's also possible to be more generous with Tetsuji's university career: say he was in his first year in 1976, did a longer/postgrad course and stayed for say 7 years giving us 1983 for his graduation, then be generous and say "next fall semester" actually means '84 (which is still fast for a stadium) for Evermore's completion and the NCAA starting, which gives us the '92 Olympics.

So, let's work backwards instead. For Evermore to be being built while Kevin and Riko "already had custom racquets" we'll be generous and lowball age 2? So, we'll work with Evermore opening around '88. Even working with the most generous estimate of when exy was invented (1981, 25years rather than 30) that means, assuming Tetsuji spent his freshman year in Japan, he was in university for 6 or 7 years (depending on how you read next fall). Putting us at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta and making NCAA exy 20ish years old.