#people are pressuring me to apply for disability but that feels a lot like giving up

[trainwreckweather]

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[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Oh I saw you answer a question about lecturing so I'd like to ask another! I am a postgrad student but miraculously landed a job as an instructor in my uni for an elective module on Language and Culture for Beginners for undergrads. I was all like "wohoooo that's great I know this shit" until I discovered there were going to be 20 people in my class so now I'm like 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 because it's my first time teaching and what if they eat me alive. What if no one collaborates on the module I've designed to be interactive. What if no one caressssssssssssss I'd wilt like a flower 😭

Well, the great thing about uni is, these are adult learners who want to be here and are paying a lot to do so, so the chances of total non-engagement are low and outright refusal even lower. And if they do, you're under no obligation to keep anyone in the class, so you can boot them out if they're disruptive.

(In five years, this has yet to happen to me. The closest I've come was two guys who just wanted to chat, but saying to them "Lads, I don't know if you've noticed, but someone has built a lecture hall around you" worked a charm, and then they apologised and paid attention.)

So, the odds are staggeringly in your favour that you will not be cannibalised! You'll be absolutely fine on that count.

The engagement levels - that's a more reasonable concern, though again, remember that they've chosen to be here. This isn't high school - they're interested in the subject, and in what you have to say. So, you need to just make sure you're doing all the things that boost engagement. Examples:

NOTHING ON THIS EARTH switches students off faster than when the lecturer is bored by the subject. Regardless of your personal views on any given part of the material, to them you must be visibly and obviously Super Interested In The Subject at all times.

Human attention spans experience a lapse every 10-18 minutes - this is why TED Talks are that long. Change your learning activity in time with this. If you're doing straight lecturing for 10 minutes, then throw out a question to the class - "So what is everyone's experience of this? How might this be applied to X situation? What would do do if this happened to you?" etc. Or a research task - give them 10 minutes to look up a set of terms in groups, and then report back to the class. Your next slide could be the one that then explains the definitions of those terms yourself, but it gives them a bit of variety, and a bit of self-learning

Do they look like they're flagging? Get them up and moving. Ask a question like "So which of you agree with X, which agree with Y?" Instead of hands up, make them get up and go to different sides of the room. Then ask them to explain their reasoning. (Be aware of disabilities when doing this)

Give them activities to work on in groups. It's great for applied learning anyway, but also for helping them bond with each other, and it keeps them more awake and engaged. But also:

Students are much more likely to pay attention when they can see why the material they're learning is relevant. If it feels like a filler lesson, they won't pay attention. This is one reason of many that a class of 20 will work for you, actually - that's small enough that you can get to know these students, and what fields they've come from, and what they want to move into. If one or two seem disengaged, find out how to emphasise the relevance of their fields to this course, and vice versa.

And on that note, call on their experience! That's the glory of adult education - these are people who have lived lives, even if only for 18 years. Call on that. Example: my field is the environment, but this year, we have a farmer on the course. That's an absolute gift to class discussions, because if we're talking about land management practices, she can describe the socio-economic pressures farmers are under to do poor practices in the name of Line Goes Up far better than I can.

You will learn to spot the quiet ones. These ones are listening and learning, but shit scared of standing out. You might be tempted to call on them directly to answer questions, but this will make them shrivel in an attempt to seem smaller so you won't attack. Instead, draw them in by going around the class to ask the same question, and come to the quiet ones towards the end. This gives them time to realise that the question is coming, and lets them formulate an answer; they'll also be less scared of Getting It Wrong if they see the variety of answers everyone else is giving

On that note: There Are No Stupid Questions. Not in your class. You need to actively encourage the students to think that it's a safe learning space, and that includes asking things that might be the dumbest fucking question you've ever heard in your life; doesn't matter, you still answer it with the same gravity as any other. In This House We Love And Support Each Other.

If you truly think they won't collaborate properly, the trick is to have a fall back. It's very unlikely that they won't, but just have a plan B in case.

Either way... honestly, there's a reason I always tell people that, while I'm a lecturer, I could never be a teacher. Adult education is easy mode. You'll be fine - you know your shit, you're already planning fun collaborative activities, you've got this.

And if it doesn't work out, and I mean this very genuinely and honestly - a huge part of teaching is figuring out what works and what doesn't work for the students. Your job is work out how to fit the knowledge you hold into the uniquely-shaped holes in their heads, and that will be slightly different every time. You've got them for the whole module - you can afford to take a breath and try again if they bounce off of your first attempt. That's not a sign that you can't do it - that is the job. Getting it right first time requires a big component of luck, even using the tricks above.

So. Good luck! And enjoy it - the students can also tell if you're having a blast

[sir-klauz]

Okay so this form of ableism reallyyyy gets my goat. People with ADHD get this treatment a lot. It really unsettles me how often as well. Like, why do people so often expect someone with a mental health disorder which specifically surrounds focus irregularities, to focus at the exact same level as someone who’s not got ADHD?

Getting angry at people with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder for not being able to write/read giant blocks of text on demand is ableism.

We can do it when we can do it, forcing us is much more much distressing than a neurotypical person/someone who doesn’t have focus irregularity would feel, and even those people get distressed at having to do things like this.

I don’t care if you’re annoyed, I really don’t, and even less if you begin ambushing and bxtching about it, then guilt tripping or indirect posting acting like it’s being done to you because “this horrible person doesn’t care”. This is abuse and emotional manipulation to mentally disabled people.

There’s a big reason why many of us suffer in education and that’s because of teachers not being trained to accommodate our needs.

I know you’re not a teacher, and it is not your responsibility to “teach” us anything, but it is your responsibility to not lash out and punish us if we can’t give you big blocks of text, writing, chapters fast enough, big reviews, essays, and completed books/creations on demand. It is also useful if you accommodate us as well, and promotes mental health awareness and accessibility.

Our symptoms literally include the inability to control our focus, meaning it can express by the inability to focus and get distracted (especially under pressure, even with things we really want to do) with big and small tasks which need focus. Unfortunately you’ll have to make peace with the fact it may never happen, or don’t ask someone with this mental health disorder to do this stuff and preform ableist exclusion since you despise our symptoms so irately.

It’s either this, we will hyperfocus and overwork ourselves, completing tasks in an hour or at the very last minute, or doing hundreds of hours of things in massive blocks but still out of our control when this happens. Not to mention adding perhaps excessive information that may not be necessary and be occasionally hard to follow.

Many times we cannot stick with one project, and not one topic for a very long time.

If you have a massive problem with that, and begin to ostracise people for doing this as well, it’s ableism.

Stop targeting people with ADHD with your stigmatic opinions, and stop asking us to do things knowing we have it if you expect guaranteed results.

It’s okay to be privately frustrated, or a little upset it didn’t get done, but you can’t do much about that except learn, educate yourself, and attempt to understand and be compassionate afterwards and take time to realise it’s often not done to spite you or because we hate you. Not forceful and not punishing.

A person with a broken leg isn’t turning down going jogging with you “just to spite you”, or “because they hate jogging/hate how you jog”. It’s because they cannot even walk, obviously involuntarily and they’re not “choosing to not walk” or “just being lazy”. Don’t apply the same theories to people with mental health disorders.

This also stands with anybody, even for people that are neurotypical. If this person does not work for you and isn’t being paid to bring work to your table or finished projects, essays, writings, and more, then you have no right to become vicious/critical when they can’t or don’t want to commit 100% to the request they are asked to do/offer to do for free, or can’t finish it for whatever reason they communicate.

Also this applies between people with ADHD doing it to each other. You can be ableist/have internalised ableism if you’re disabled/have a mental health disorder as well. If anything though, if you do have ADHD, it’s a little questionable if you don’t consider any of this. Though no two persons experience is necessarily the same plus you may have a different type of ADHD/not have combined ADHD, plus, many people are misdiagnosed which would also be another reason you might not get these things.

ADHD is a kettle of fish which is both amazing and difficult to live with, in a world that rarely accommodates us, or especially won’t for free like neurotypical people would receive.

Making it harder and refusing to accommodate us isn’t okay, and condemning us for not being on par with your demands which are often unrealistic, isn’t acceptable. Don’t be surprised if we start to avoid you after this behaviour. It’s offensive and tiring to receive.

We probably have 70 other things we are trying to be doing rn, not to mention juggling a hectic life full of responsibilities whilst trying to commit to fun things, or over committing to too much at once.

It isn’t usually because we don’t want to either, this inability to do things on demand so easily is applicable to things we really want to do as well. Hell, if I can’t open and play a game I’m in love with, idk what to say! But it certainly isn’t on purpose haha.

[faesystem]

Hi! Sorry for bothering you but I saw your post about Scar's wheelchair in-universe and this has made me reconsider my design a bit more

For context, I have tendonitis (from shoulder to wrists) so when I was first doing my design I kept switching between giving him a wheelchair and a leg brace because of my own brace for my arms... but after doing surface level (imo) research on it, I never really considered if they could work as an effective aid for a debilitating condition?

So um, if it's not too much trouble would you be alright explaining/talking about how it works on that area? Cuz I want to make sure I didn't like mess up bad bad

TLDR: Yes, it can be an effective aid. However, if someone wearing braces is the only representation of their disability in a story, then I would not really consider that a disabled character. I would consider that an able-bodied character wearing braces. (Not saying you are doing that, for the record. Just summarising this big long post.) My biggest suggestion is to just consider what disability he has, how the disability impacts him, how the aids help, and how they don't.

(Previous post about disabled Scar and wheelchairs, but not necessary to read to read this post.)

The thing about disability is that it is not exactly a clear-cut topic, because what symptoms someone has and the way they present really vary person to person. In particular with physical disabilities, people subconsciously categorise things in their mind on a scale from 'easy' to 'hard'.

For example, take walking versus aerial arts in circus. For the majority of people, walking is easy and circus is hard. For me personally? I have far easier time hauling my body weight around in the air and making it look good than I would going for a 10 minute stroll.

Personally, I project most of my disabilities onto him. Primarily, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. Which are, essentially, lose joints = ouchy + dislocations disorder and veins loose = brainfog + fainting disorder.

Scar's symptoms are based entirely on my own. They primarily impact him when he has done a lot of standing, if he has to do any running, and if he has neglected to hydrate properly. He is very strong and physically capable of doing things others are not.

For me, the reason walking is horrible and circus is manageable is for two main reasons. The first being that, specifically with POTS, being on my feet for a long time is the biggest trigger for my symptoms. The second being that I am far, far more conscious of my body when I am doing circus versus when I am walking or honestly doing much of anything.

I rarely experience dislocations when it comes to circus. I know my body and I know circus and I know how to avoid injuring myself. A lot of this was trail and error to discover, but I now know the things I cannot do. I generally only injure myself if I am careless, such as rushing warm-up and stretching or doing activities I know end poorly for me. I cannot do any handstands or tumbling, primarily because my wrists will hyper extend and then have pressure put on them and that is excruciatingly painful regardless, not to mention likely to end in a subluxation (partial dislocation).

In my case, braces and honestly just taping the joints can make a world's difference. I do not do it nearly as often as I should, I truly should start doing that more, but it changes a lot. I feel as though it also would for my version of Scar with the disabilities I have assigned to him, because I sort of parallel circus and building in terms of our symptoms and presentation.

Which, is truly the important thing. Braces can aid prevention of some in some debilitating conditions. It is really not a clear cut yes or no. In order to answer the question of if it works for the way you are using it, it is important analyse why it would or would not work.

In order to apply this to my presentation of Scar, the first step really is to consider where braces could be applicable. The first thing that comes to my mind is that, being a builder, his knees would suffer quite a bit. Real-world construction workers face this issue often. I feel as though with his joints weaker, that would make that problem worse, the risk of dislocation aside. I feel as though knee braces would be a good way to stabilise the joint and minimise the symptoms.

When it comes to long distances, I feel as though it could maybe decrease some of Scar's pain, but not nearly enough for him to justify using a brace over some other aid such as a wheelchair. Typically, a wheelchair would be quite inconvenient as it is big and bulky and spaces may not be able to accommodate that, but I feel as though on Hermitcraft spaces are intentionally designed with his accessibility in mind, and also that he is easily able to store it in his inventory (I view inventories as pocket dimensions). In Scar's mind, there is really no reason not to use a chair instead, and also there is not really any point in wearing braces if he is going to be using his chair. I also do not believe he tends to wear braces for anything other than building, even if he will be walking and on his feet, primarily because I think he forgets about it/feels as though it is too much of a hassle.

The thing about aids is they do not completely eliminate the problems. That is honestly the biggest thing when it comes to disability representation for me. I do not care if you come up with some magic-based solution, for example, but it has to be an aid not a cure.

My biggest sort of gripe I suppose with how people represent Scar as being disabled is they do not really consider him disabled beyond surface level appearance. This is most notable in animatics where he is just casually in his wheelchair in completely inaccessible settings, such as one I saw of him in the zombie spawner in Secret Life session 6.

When it comes to an aid such as braces, it is less important to consider the context of what it is being presented in. In a one off fanart, the braces are a visual way to represent the disability or impairment. In a story, if the only representation of him being disabled is that he has braces, then he is essentially an able-bodied person wearing braces.

My biggest concern when it comes to people using braces instead of a mobility aid such as a wheelchair is that they tend to do it because it is the easy option. They truly can just write an able-bodied character who wears braces, and have the ghost of a disabled person in their story.

That is because, unlike most mobility aids, braces are not a hinderance if you do not need them. When it comes to wheelchairs, able-bodied people very quickly are forced to confront that physically disabled people do in fact face challenges and often times have minimal idea as to how to approach them.

I touched on this briefly in my initial post where I said that people will often times write Scar as an ambulatory wheelchair user so he can walk over any hurdles being a wheelchair user creates.

I do not believe it is a problem to make him an ambulatory wheelchair user or even just not a wheelchair user but still disabled. I think that it is good that people are making Scar disabled, and good that there is a wide variety of ways they make him disabled. Genuinely I have never encountered such a plethora of disability representation until I stumbled upon the MCYT fandom.

I have cried in the past over Scar fanworks because it was the first time I had ever seen myself represented as a disabled person. I literally cried earlier today at how many people were reblogging my post and sharing it and taking on my feedback, because this group of wonderful people truly cares to represent people like me.

While it does bother me sometimes that I see people making disability representation that is not quite so accurate, I still think it is so sweet and touching that people are trying. It is a confusing, confusing thing. While for me it is just normal, every day stuff, for many of you you have no frame of reference.

My biggest, biggest suggestion is to just consider what disability he has, how the disability impacts him, how the aids help, and how they don't.

For example:

The disability - Ehlers-Danlos syndrome

Impact - Causes chronic pain, especially when he walks too much

Aids help - They stabilise his joints, preventing a lot of pain and allowing him to walk for longer

Aids don't - They do not completely minimise his pain, and he is still is prone to flare ups in symptoms if he walks too much. During those times he is unable to walk much at all, and it is excruciatingly painful for him if he tries.

That is hugely different from only knowing that he wears braces to help with chronic pain. That, to me, is the best way to go from poor disability representation to good, because it shows quite a bit of thought was put into it.

And my secret, bigger suggestion is to just try your best. A lot of people are too afraid to include representation because they are afraid to represent it poorly.

Literally today I saw someone draw the worst wheelchair design I had ever seen from a practically standpoint. Ever. (Here is a fantastic guide to drawing wheelchairs, by the way.) But it had clearly had a lot of time and effort put into stylising it for Scar's character. Sure, the base design of the wheelchair showed they do not understand much about wheelchairs, but they put effort into creating the wheelchair design. They even mentioned wanting to design other wheelchairs in future for Scar in different seasons.

Even if I would not consider it good representation, the energy put into it was good. It was heart warming, it made me smile.

Even if you have done what I referenced before about writing what is essentially an able-bodied character who wears braces, that is still better representation than people who just write able bodied Scar. Especially since you were basing it off your own experiences, I love that and I am so certain it reflected in whatever you created.

I also cannot stress how overjoyed I am that you asked me this.

When I made that first post it was honestly because I was a bit frustrated with seeing so many people who clearly had no idea what they were talking about creating disabled Scar content. The massive, overwhelmingly positive response to it has completely floored me. People truly do care and it is such a refreshing change of pace to literally every other space people have tried to include disabled representation in that I have ever seen.

(Also, I would truly love to check out your Scar design if you are willing to show me.)

[lucysweatslove]

Almost done with my first week of med school proper. We haven’t gotten into much of the science but touched on a lot of more of the social factors. Obviously one week (albeit multiple hours a day) isn’t long enough to get all the way into social factors like medical racism and anti-racism, identity and intersectionality, social determinants of health, etc, it’s nice that my school opens up with it to really set the tone.

Last night I spent some time talking to a friend who is a peds resident who went through the program at my school (on a different campus) who used disability services. His advice was basically to fight for what you need at every step, because nobody else will advocate for your inclusion and DRS when he was going through clerkships had like no idea how to accommodate his physical disability. He has some good experiences and some shitty ones. Anyway, I felt better about applying after that. The worst they can do is say no, that accommodation is unreasonable, and then not have a suitable alternative. I’m fortunate enough that I don’t think my disabilities would keep me from filling technical standards, so I shouldn’t be kicked out, I would just have a harder time which is exactly where I’m at anyway.

The MS3 (third year student, started doing the clinical stuff recently-ish) that is doing a longitudinal clinic experience at my rural site was in town today and stopped by our lecture hall during my lunch break to say hi and chat. That was really nice. I told him a little about the experience I had with the Dean, and he was supportive of “whatever [I] want to do” (really stressed it’s a personal choice)- and when I said that I WANT to stay but feel pressured to quit, he was all “then FIGHT it, they’re looking for that.” He also said the docs have asked about how I was doing… idk. He is such a nice guy and easy to talk to and somebody I actually feel safe with (very rare I feel safe telling somebody IRL about any of my psych history). I just have such a hard time trusting that the docs there actually cared for me at all. Not that I expect them to actively hate me (hate takes energy; if you don’t care for somebody and are far too busy it makes most sense I think to just not give them any of your mind). But it’s easier for me to think that they’re asking how I’m doing/transitioning into med school proper out of like, a perceived duty due to their position. I have had some bad experiences of “forced kindness,” so while I don’t anticipate any hostile/negative intentions, I also have a hard time believing there are outwardly positive intentions towards me. Like “I’m asking because I genuinely care” seems less plausible than “I’m asking because it’s part of my job.”

Anyway, MS3 recommended I do NOT email but text the primary preceptor about finding a time to call, which has me anxious for other reasons (phone calls are the literal devil if I need to do anything as Me instead of as like, Customer Service Me, you know?). But I will also respect that- like after he said that it made more sense to me because she gave me her # and then also later said that emails get missed so easily because they get bombarded with emails. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I need to text her still, just got busy and need to get over my fear of bothering people.

Oh and I was busy because I actually applied for disability services and accommodations. Yay! I sent in my assessment documents and an application, and they said they will be reaching out to set up a meeting soon. Something I found interesting is that I’ve mentioned accommodations in passing to a few people - one in relation to neurodivergence and clerkships, they didn’t gaf which is totally fine, and the other was that MS3 (just asking if he every used it, he said no). I don’t know entirely what I picked up from them and don’t want to read TOO much into it bc neurodivergence. But I wonder how much of those answers is somehow related to stigma in med Ed. My opinion is very much “fight ableism” in the sense that like, a quarter of people have a disability of some sort and can use legal measures to protect against discrimination and get us a little closer to equity. And it’s not just for me either- I really really do want to fight the systemic BS. And that’s part of why I’m so curious about their motivations for NOT seeking services. If they really feel like there is nothing they need to accommodate and like they don’t have a disability, that is GREAT for them and I won’t tell them how to experience any diagnosis or difference from normative experiences. I’m just unsure if there’s some judgment on my end for seeking it, or maybe if there’s some internalized ableism, or if they were just heavily dissuaded BECAUSE of ableism, idk.

I do feel fortunate to have people around me that care and want to help, though.

[kingofkingsschizo]

What do you see for your future and you have schizophrenia. I’m not going to lye your going to have more then bumps in the road. It’s just inherently part of having a mental illness such as schizophrenia. Let me save you you grief. Man, just do what’s best for your health. If your on disability, stay on disability and don’t worry about working and going to school . These two things aren’t out of question for you. I did both for many years . Schizophrenia with its symptoms of hallucinations and delusions is such a debilitating thing. There is no way to stay consistent. Along with hallucinations and delusions there are also problems with sleep, anxiety, depression, etc. you really put a lot on yourself trying to accomplish too much at one time. If you do take the route of school and work just make sure you take it nice and easy. Allowing yourself to always recuperate from a day that will be full of stress. Stress is a big factor in why I couldn’t work. You see stress, triggers my symptoms. Stress related issues can come at you from different Angles . If you have anxiety, it could be stressful working around people all day. A workload from the job can be stressful and wear you thin.  I know with me taking my antipsychotic, it made me sleep long hours. So in order for me to work I had to get up early despite the fact I would be sleep deprived because I needed to sleep 12 hours a day on Risperdal. Lack of sleep is a big factor in well-being and is very critical for having energy and motivation to accomplish daily task. When you have been diagnosed and have jumped through the hoops to get on disability don’t be disappointed with the amount you get because we are lucky here in America to have social net for vulnerable populations. This income from the government can also be used to apply for housing, food benefits like lone star program. You can get a Pell grant to pay for school if you feel you want to attempt higher education. I went to college and I learned a lot despite not being able to work a regular 9 to 5. Never give up is my drive for numerous instances in my life. I would never detour anyone from making an attempt at something they feel is inside them to take on. Been there I was up for the challenge. I did well in school. I take longer to read but I took nice easy at my own pace because I took at least 2 credit hours a semester. I made it . I got the degree. I have it . It’s s piece of paper. Highly valuable to someone who doesn’t have a thing wrong with them that can set there goals on a solid career being they don’t have to have an impairment like schizophrenia. When you place yourself in highly structured stress related situation don’t expect to come out unscathed. You may find school doable and excel but working n your profession after school is a different ballgame. Your not free to move at your own time because you are on someone else’s time. That person is trying to make a profit, minimizing expense and looking to maximize profit. You are very replaceable and fast if you don’t make the cut. Developing different skills that can be applied to selling a services or product is good but better are skills like managing your health, managing your symptoms, managing symptom related issues is all essential for the fore mentioned above. There is not even a possibility of success working or going to school without first knowing how to stay physically and mentally well. Take care of you don’t put extra added pressure on yourself to achieve. Come to grips and understand every nuisance of your mental illness . Feeling good in your house watching t.v. or anything relaxing is better way to spend your days rather then trying to make the elusive American dream work for you. Don’t worry what people think about you not working. Fuck them there not the ones who have schizophrenia. We may appear all together on the outside but we are always fluctuating on the inside. You have nothing to prove to anyone. If you have to prove something for yourself. Do it , attempt it, execute it. But alway make notes what doesn’t work. DEFIANT

[katzenklavierr]

Wish more people would understand that image description is a skill and not everyone is going to be good at it.

Like when I try to do it, it ends up vague at best and confusing at worst, because I don't know what to focus on or what level of detail is appropriate, so I end up severely overthinking it, getting really overwhelmed, and then just giving up entirely.

I'm primarily a visual artist, and while I'm technically visually impaired myself it's not beyond lens correction; I make visual art precisely to convey things that my words fail to. Feelings and ideas that I don't think I could capture with structured language. I have no idea how to translate that.

The whole purpose of the ID, like any kind of translation, is to invite a broader audience to experience your work that might not otherwise be able to, right? I think that's an overall good thing, but I also think its a bit like asking an author to translate their book into another language. Sometimes they speak it, and the translation turns out as faithful to their ideas as they can manage, other times they can work directly with someone who does speak it, and other times someone will translate it out of enjoyment for what it is.

(Of course, this analogy also requires the understanding that translation itself is a skill and an art and inherently requires some amount of interpretation on the part of the translator.)

I'm not asking for advice on how to be better at it; I know, in theory, what makes a good image ID, just like I, in theory, understand the grammar structures of Korean or German despite not speaking either of them. It's just not something I'm good at applying, especially to my own work because of my emotional investment.

Conversely, I AM good at audio transcription, so I'm able to caption all of my videos no problem. I even know how to do several different kinds of audio transcription, which is certainly not something everyone can do or can do well, as I see many of my peers struggle with it. And even then, I sometimes find myself deliberating on the details of how to best capture what's being said in the most faithful way for the given purpose. It's an act of translation from one medium (sound) to another (text).

I think image IDs and closed captions are great and an overall net positive, but I also think it's impractical to expect that they're something everyone is capable of doing. Like beyond just the fact that a lot of the people having pressure put on them for not being "accessible enough" are also disabled, it's bizarre to me to act like people who just aren't good at something that, while helpful, inherently requires a certain skillset don't care about other people.

[thegingeralien]

Thought I might share my “doing homework with adhd” tips in case the might help even just one person (because that would make me feel happy).

Who am I to be giving you advice? Good point! I am still terrible at studying and I’m 26 and at University for the millionth time. But I have studied A LOT in my 22 years of schooling with varying degrees of success.

I see a lot of people, especially teenagers or first year university/college students, with ADHD asking for tips on how to study. But if you do a google search most of the websites and advice that comes up can be extremely ableist. So I hope I can help someone!

TIPS TO HELP YOU STUDY WHEN YOU HAVE AN ADHD GREMLIN BRAIN!:

1. Chewing gum!

- This might come across as a weird one, but it has actually really helped me. I use it as a form of stimming to help keep me focused and concentrating. Other forms of stimming can potentially end up being more of a distraction when you actually need to be reading or writing - but they can help if you just need to be listening. Try not to get a bubble gum or fun flavoured one though - as they can end up making your mouth feel dry, lose flavour quickly, and just give your brain way too many sensory things to become distracted with.

2. Buying colour coded stationary!

- New stationary can make me really excited to start studying, but that excitement never lasts long and the act of buying stationary can sometimes become it’s own hobby. That’s not what we are going for here. I really recommend, especially if you are a visual learner like me, to buy colour coded stationary. This means removable page markers, different coloured post it notes, highlighters, sometimes even pens. This way if your mind jumps from one topic to the other, it doesn’t matter. Go with the flow. Forcing your ADHD gremlin brain to focus can be extremely counter intuitive. So pick a colour for each topic, and stick to that system to find organisation among your own chaos!

3. Buy a really cheap, boring year diary with hardly any writing inside.

- Not sure if your school/university has their own diary but they can be perfect for what I am on about. Generally you can find them for really cheap, soft cover, no writing or designs within the dates. Just dates, days, weeks and lines where you can write your homework. This helped me a lot in High School. I wish I had kept doing it in University, but I am good with giving advice, and not so much with taking it. I used to decorate the outside of it however I wanted. Some years I would redecorate the same diary every semester. In the public holidays or holiday days I would colour those lines in with different highlighters to make it look like a rainbow. But every assignment due date, homework, draft, rewrite, form I had to bring back, library book due date, school activity days, ANYTHING to do with school I would write in there with reminds and check lists. Important due dates would be highlighted, general homework and daily to do lists t(o help me not leave my assignments to the last minute) would have a tick box beside them (because ticking tick boxes is free dopamine). Try to not put birthdays or fun things in it. This is a small way to stay on track so it helps you actually stay on track with the big things when you’re home.

4. Big whiteboards stuck on the wall where you can’t avoid it.

- This is not something I had in school, but I so wish I did. I have been using this recently to keep on top of house work (as maintaining your own house is tiring) and my small business or other things I really can’t avoid. If I physically write it down (not just in my phone) it psychologically does help you commit it to memory. Again, physically putting a line through a task you just completed is a hecking great rush of dopamine. But the biggest reason I love my white board, I can’t ignore it. It is stuck to the wall and is never out of sight, out of mind. I can’t put my phone or diary down and then refuse to look at it until I’m past the due date. Again, I’m not a perfect person, there are days where I don’t do anything I have written on the white board. But the great thing is, I don’t have to continuously feel like I failure, as I can wipe it all off the next morning or week and start fresh. I also put important things I have to remember that I’m doing during the week so I don’t forget them.

5. Icky Medication.

- I know not everyone wants to be on medication, and I understand. I am not forcing you to. No matter what your opinions are, you lovely gremlin who is still reading this post, regarding medication, you are valid and I respect you. My personal experience with medication has not been the best. I have been misdiagnosed for a severe chunk of my academic life which has seen me trying to focus and maintain school work under some even worse states then I am unmedicated! However, since receiving my diagnosis and finding the right ADHD medication for me, I have the ability to get so much work done without having to unnecessarily struggle. It’s unfortunately not magic, it will not turn me into a robot that makes me do work and turn out incredible, noble peace prize winning assignments (as much as I wish that were possible). I still have the ability to be a lump, doom scrolling through tumblr, forgetting to eat, and ignoring responsibilities. But it really helps me when I sit down and start that thing that isn’t fun. Yesterday it helped me hyperfocus on cleaning my office which was a terrifying room to be in. So it’s pretty close to magic in my opinion!

6. Accessing Disability Support at your place of learning.

- Not all of you taking the time to read this will have either a) an offical diagnosis or b) a good disability support available to you wherever you are completing your studies. And that is okay. This dot point just won’t be for you right now. But keep it in mind for a time when it might apply to you, as it’s something I never thought I would need, but will never take for granted ever again.

- If you have an offical diagnosis and Disability Support, make an appointment with the disability support adviser. DO IT NOW! Get your psychiatrist to write a diagnosis letter outlining that you have <enter superpower that makes you hilarious here> and that you are receiving <enter x,y,z treatment here> and that you would benefit from receiving <enter what you have always wished you had on the days you can’t make your ADHD gremlin brain do the thing here>. Now these benefits can be, but not limit to: automatic extensions on ALL assignments, extra time on exams, extra breaks to walk around while taking exams, special consideration when marking assignments, my university allows me to take exams in a separate room with only the other students in my subject who also have disability support (occasionally I have taken an exam alone with only a tutor present) so I don’t get distracted, permission to take fidget items into class or exam (I have the option to wear headphones, as long as I can display that they are not connected to anything). Maybe you can come up with some great ones for you with your disability advisor or your psychiatrist.

- The disability advisor will often go through your course outline with you at the start of each semester or year. This is annoying and a great time for disassociating, but can be useful in hindsight because you are made aware of everything that will come up during your class so you are not surprised. Because lets be honest, it is unlikely you are going to look at the course calendar too often.

- Side Note: I make an appointment every semester with my disability support officer for my area of study to make sure I have my special considerations for the year. Now I may go through the whole year without ever using my considerations. However, the fact that I know they are there takes an insane amount of pressure off of myself. If I’m having an insanely screwy loony tune mental health moment, I can email my coordinator my disability plan and say I need an extension due to personal reasons, and WHOOP, there it izzzzz.

7. Dedicated one thing or a few things that have nothing to do with food/alcohol/other substances to reward yourself with for doing the thing!

- This may not work for everyone. It doesn’t always work for me. I used to reward myself with food, but that only reinforced my stimming with overeating and my already bad relationship with food. And I feel as though that would be the same with any other substance that can be linked with addiction. (Addiction is a tough word, cause what aren’t I addicted to, I have ADHD, but hopefully you get what I mean!).

-Now, boring try and not choose this aside, lets think of somethings that work really well as rewards!

- My partner likes to come give me a kiss and a hug when ever they have written and reread a paragraph, you might buy a book when you get a really good mark, you might want to go make a cup of tea and watch an episode of your hyperfixation after studying for <enter a good period of time here>, you might allow yourself to partake in an activity you usually do while procrastinating (but at least this time you know you aren’t putting something off), talk to someone who you know will tell you they are proud of you as they understand the mental struggle you go through to concentrate (if you can’t think of anyone, it is 110% okay if that person are the amazing people on tumblr or the adhd tumblr chats. We will freaking pop a bottle of champagne for you cause we get it!).

- Try and make what ever you choose be something in a different room or away from your working space. Getting out can really calm you down.

8. Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance.

- This is true for anything, but I don’t mean just asking your teacher to give you extra help understanding the task and marking rubric. Many people online, tutors, librarians at your school, past or present students offer assistance rereading and making small edits (they won’t make it magical unfortunately) to your assignments. If you are like me and once you have written or completed the dreaded thing, you can not imagine or force your gremlin brain reread or edit the thing. So it can help to just delegate this to someone else, who hasn’t read it before, so they won’t disassociate or skim read it. They will often notice things you never would have even if you were neurotypical as that is just what happens when you have been working on something for so long.

9. Repetitive music.

- It generally helps if this has no lyrics. Lo-fi is amazing. Classical is alright too if it works for you, but both my partner and I agree that it can really assist you to keep up pace and focus when the beat is a high and repetitive (almost meditative) tempo.

10. Limit your screen space.

- This is a tip completely from my partner @dr-adhd who also has ADHD, is an avid PC gamer and is consistently in a battle with their gremlin brain to focus on completing their PhD. They have discovered that it really helps them to limit their screen space - simply put, work on one screen only. They have done more work more easily when they have their one screen on their laptop to focus on. Whereas their office has multiple screens so they could be playing runescape, watching YouTube, listening to lo-fi and doing work - which never worked (shocking right hahaha).

11. At the risk of sounding like a Mum... Put your phone and other electronics other than the assignment necessary one, away.

- I am a Mum, but to a fluffy puppy dog, so I hate to sound like my Mum when I was in high school, but she was right. Mobiles are the single easiest and biggest distraction in ADHD history. I often, even at coffee shops, have to turn my phone over so that I am not consistently looking at it every time the screen lights up to say the pizza place has sent me a coupon, or a carpet place that has been having a sale since I was born is... still having a sale, or a friend from school wants you to watch this TikTok. Even though you might not want to ignore your friends, because people pleasing, difficulting making/keeping friends and RSD are hecking real things, but they can all wait. Trust me, none of them are urgent. That TikTok will still be funny in an hour or two. And I’m probably completely right when I say that whomever just messaged you, never replies as quickly as you want them too. So I doubt they are going to think twice if you are MIA to finish your thing.

My partner or I might add to this later, but at the moment I already know that I probably wouldn’t read this wall of words if I was the one reading it, so if you are still with me, THANK YOU and I really hope I might have helped you. Sorry for the mound of words, but maybe you can reblog, screen shot, or save this and read a dot point at a time or refer to it when you need. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, I promise what ever it is, I’ve asked the same thing once in my life or something MUCH stupider.

[luxe-pauvre]

Hello Holly....

I was wondering if you could have any suggestions for me about this - i have this exam that i so need to get a good rank and qualify so that i can do p.hd. But i think i am not working as hard as i should be. I see other exam aspirants and i lose my sh** because the level of questions they are trying to solve. I know i haven't been too studious in the past yet i studied as best as i could (i have adhd and grew up in a dysfunctional family and it took me a lot of time to unlearn and relearn a lot of stuff). I do try and study good and sometimes i drift so easily away. The thoughts i specifically label as "unnecessary" some how creep up and before i know I'd have spent hours with it. Sometimes i really think i remember my past or some people or create scenarios just to not keep studying. I really want to study. I really am interested. I just slip away into not studying so easily. Honestly those Students in the top,being eligible for various fellowship scare me and make me think that i am never gonna be one among them and i should give up and find something else to do. Sometimes i can't bear the thought of failing to score the cutoff mark again and seeing the disappointment on my parents face. I think that pressure is there and i don't know how to handle. Please.. Do you have any advice for me? Any insights? I could really use your help. I totally understand if you couldn't answer me.

Take care🌻. Love your posts always. It is so attractive to see how much you read.

Okay, there is a lot to unpack here so I am going to try and organise my answer as best as possible.

‘I think I am not working as hard as I should be.’ The key words in that sentence are ‘I think’. Thinking/feeling like you’re not studying as much as you should is not evidence that that is true. Studying is not about quantity, but quality. Getting in an hour a day of difficult active recall is better than spending ten hours highlighting and re-reading notes. Look into evidence-based study practices (I highly recommend the book Make It Stick: The Science of Successful Learning), and, given how dedicated you seem, work out a way to get comfortable with the feeling that you’re not doing enough. I, too, never feel like I’m doing enough. Earlier in the year I had to have some time off sick and felt so behind when I returned, despite there being no objective evidence that I was behind. I stuck a post-it note in my eye line on the wall above my desk that had ‘you are not behind’ written on it. It reached the point after a few days of constantly glancing at it that even having the thought that I was behind became ridiculous and laughable, and eventually I just got on with what I needed to do unhindered by the thought.

‘I see other exam aspirants and I lose my sh** because the level of questions they are trying to solve [...] those students in the top … scare me and make me think that I am never gonna be one among them and I should give up’ You have to run your own race. What other people are doing should have no bearing on what you are doing. You’re not seeing what is really going on for them, you’re seeing what they want you to see. During my MSc year I was surrounded by students who were pulling ten hour study days and seemingly had an impossible amount of extracurriculars going on, and appeared to have everything together, but they didn’t get in to the programs they wanted to. They were either putting in the hours, but not using them effectively, or were just unlucky. It’s horrible to acknowledge but there are far far more students capable of doing PhDs than there are places, so a certain amount of luck is involved. You can do everything right, you can be the gold star student with the top scores and the twenty extracurriculars and several summer’s of work experience, but still not get a place. Focus on what you can control, on what you are doing, and forget about everyone around you.

‘I studied as best I could’ Great. That’s all you can do and all you can expect from yourself. I don’t have ADHD nor do I have close friends/colleagues who do, and so I cannot offer you advice on this specifically. If you’re at a college/university with a student wellbeing/health/disability service do reach out to them for advice. My usual self-help resource that my university recommends has nothing ADHD-specific. If anyone reading this has any resources to help Anon, please share them in the notes.

‘Sometimes I can’t bear the thought of failing to score the cutoff mark again’ Failure is part of getting into a PhD program. There’s a student in my lab group who has just submitted her thesis, and I’ve read it, and it’s amazing, and she’s amazing, and her CV is amazing, and she’s going on to a fantastic post-doc position, and it all seems so glorious. But I was talking to her at her leaving party last week and discovered she didn’t get the first TWENTY TWO PhD programs/projects she applied for. It’s ridiculous that this the system we’re all desperately trying to work in, but you’ve got to get comfortable with failure. I highly recommend you look up academic CVs of failures that some professors publish to get a true grasp of the scale of failure the ‘superstars’ around you have faced. Persistence and perseverance and being comfortable with rejection are the most valuable skills you can carry into a PhD program, just keep going.

[olivetreehugger]

SnK Scouts/Veterans as Health Care Workers

Note: features Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Levi, Erwin and Hange. A part two to my “SnK Warriors as HCWs” post found here. warning: mentions of blood, trauma, gore (it’s healthcare). Also, I know Hange is nb, I headcanon them as female, so I will be using she/her pronouns. 

Eren: this boy is definitely too involved in everything and has too many people depending on him at once to not be a nurse. The kid barely passed the NCLEX but that didn’t stop him from applying to every trauma center within a 25 mile radius of him. He got hired as a night shift trauma ICU nurse  and he frequently picks up shifts in the ER. He wears the cheapest scrubs he can find, often stained with ink in the pockets area. He isn’t a shitty nurse per se but there are tasks that still need to be done at the end of his shift and he gives a crappy report that’s missing too many details. Nurses hate picking up his patients, it’s always a mess. His charting is really spotty and he gets called into the manager’s office all the time to fix it. 

Still, he tries really hard to improve his time management and skills. He wants to be like his friends Mikasa and Reiner, who are the best nurses he knows. He wants to be involved in the traumatic cases and emergencies because he wants to learn as much as he possibly can. He’s really good at wound care, for some reason (hint hint). He’s kinda cocky sometimes too, which can be troublesome when Dr. Galliard is working. People know to steer clear of those two when they’re both  in the ER. Also, Eren always has a black cloud around him; whenever he works it’s gonna be a hella busy day in the hospital. Lots of emergency surgeries, intubations, codes and deaths. He’ll always jump in to help you if your patient is crashing, though, no matter how busy he is. 

Mikasa: she’s a prodigy. She was a straight ‘A’ student in nursing school, got a perfect 75 on the NCLEX and was immediately hired to the trauma ICU after doing a short internship there. She worked night shift for a year but her sleep schedule was so so fucked she started having night terrors, so she switched to day shift. Eren still calls her a traitor for it :/. She keeps trying to get him to switch over but he just hisses at her and threatens to chug a case of Monster energy drinks. She hasn’t given upon him yet, though.

This girl’s work ethic is beyond measure. She comes in exactly at 6:30 am, looks up her patients, takes report, gives a great update to the doctors when they round, and provides impeccable care to her patients. She knows exactly which treatments the doctors will order before they even speak. She’s incredible at inserting IVs--everyone in the hospital knows Mikasa Ackerman can put an 18g in a 90  yr old lady’s arm AND get blood return (just trust me, it’s flipping impossible). She has great skill when it comes to emergency situations and is a big believer in team work. If she notices your patient’s crashing and you don’t know what to do, she’ll calmly coach you and save your patient, too. All before lunch time. 

It doesn’t take Mikasa long to be promoted to charge nurse. When she’s in charge all the reports, paperwork and audits are completed before shift change. She divides the patient assignments really well and is very fair to the new grads. All around she’s an incredible nurse and leader on her unit, but don’t be fooled. If it’s been a rough day, Mikasa will get in her car and sob so loud her throat goes raw. A lot of people depend on her and working in a trauma ICU is really, really demanding. A lot of patients are demanding, rude and busy. She has a lot of trouble with stress management and is thinking of cutting her hours down so she can catch a break. Someone please hug her <3

Armin: for some reason my brain is just SCREAMING respiratory therapist. Like, I imagine this beautiful blond boy in gray scrubs (the color for RT’s in my hospital) going around helping intubate patients, giving nebulizer treatments and doing blood gases. I can just see him huffing and puffing when the attending doctor is overzealous about weaning vent support. -“Why are we changing the patient to pressure support? do you see how tachypneic he is on volume control?”

-“are you gonna put in the order? if not, your patient’s gonna be on PRVC all day, I’m not changing it without an order”

-“Doc, the patient looks like crap and their blood gas looks like death...oh, you still wanna extubate? ok, well I’m gonna leave the ventilator in here just in case. better yet, let me call a pastor in here, too.”

This kid is sassy af and he knows it. He’s smart af too, knows everything there is to know about the lungs and respiratory care. Knows every ventilator mode better than most doctors. Will certainly tell a resident off for ordering the wrong type of inhaler for a patient. He’s so damn intelligent that he even made the ice queen Annie melt like a popsicle. 

 He has no chill when it comes to his patients and even less chill (like -4078875874670) when a doctor gets in his way. For this reason, Armin has recently been toying with the idea of going to PA school so he can have a little more autonomy. He works al over the hospital, usually frequenting the trauma, CV, and medical ICU. The nurses there love him. 

Jean: Jeannie boy. Baby. Sweetie. He’s also a nurse. He is strictly dayshift and trauma. When he first started, he thought he’d do a year in the ICU and then go to CRNA school. He didn’t want to be around sickly patients with hopes and dreams and fears--it was too icky for him. But, over time, he learned that he LOVED trauma. Jean loves the controlled chaos that comes with the ugly, bloody messes that roll in through the ICU’s doors. He always gears up for trauma season (summer time) by bringing Dunkin Donuts iced coffee for everyone on the unit (day and night shift because he’s a supportive king). He gets really good at dealing with arrogant trauma residents and ortho docs who think they’re hot shit. When Jean sees a resident yelling at a nurse, he jumps in and threatens to have their license revoked. He will dig under their skin and page them incessantly throughout the day, too, just to get back at them. Jean is not a fan of lateral violence in the workplace, no sir. 

He always, always makes sure every room is stocked and new bags are hanging for the next shift. He has a thing where if things aren’t properly organized on the unit his brain just spazzes. He’s on the unit council and education committee because he also loves to teach the new grads. He also doubles as charge nurse, when management can’t be there (there can be one or more charge nurses amongst the staff, they usually work different days, though) He and Mikasa work so well together, teaming up to get tasks done, coding patients, running them down to get scanned, etc. People joke they’re the mom and dad of the unit. It makes them both blush <3 (Eren doesn’t like it, lol)

Jean loves to see patients healing from horrendous injuries, he’s constantly cracking jokes with the awake patients to try to make them feel better, and he’s really good at calming anxious family members down. Our boy just makes such good connections with people. He’s the guy you call when your confused patient is one second away from ripping his breathing tube out. He can convince the most restless, agitated patient to chill out. He’s got the voice for it. Also people love his mullet. It looks great. 

Connie: I really didn’t know at first but I feel like Connie would make a great physical therapist. He’s got great energy, he’s funny and I could see him dancing to Earth, Wind & Fire in front of his patients to hype them up for therapy. He’d be very sweet with them 

Sasha: I’m sick and tired of the food jokes, quite honestly. She’s more than that. In my mind, she’s an occupational therapist, helping disabled patients learn to feed, dress and clean themselves again. She works directly with Connie as they round on all their patients in the hospital, they make a great team!  She’s extremely patient and would make a very good nurse, but is unsure of where life is taking her. That is until she meets Niccolo the dietician in the cafeteria, and she falls hard. He encourages her to follow her heart and she does!  

Levi: Hm. This one stumped me. Levi is a bit...cold. It’s not like he has incredible social skills. He’s meticulous and focused and kinda mean? He reminds me of an anesthesiologist, tbh. Like he’ll sedate the shit outta you for surgery, makes sure you don’t die on the table, and then drops you off to the unit as fast as he can. He never takes off his mask while in the hospital and he scrubs maybe four times before surgery. He is very good at medication calculations and knows everything about nerve blocks, intubation, pain medication and sedation. He can look at a person and just KNOW what kind of sedative to give and how much. Your blood pressure will never bottom out while he’s there, he’ll warn the surgeon and immediately get that norepinephrine started.

 If Zeke is the one operating, Levi is on his ass to finish up the surgery ASAP and to not linger, because Zeke takes his time and ignores the tele monitor alarming in the background. After surgery, this 5′2 demon will scream at the 6′ resident about the importance of blood pressure management and sedation in neurosurgical patients. Levi plays no games and he also just really hates Zeke lol

He seems like a jerk but genuinely cares about getting his peeps through surgery. His favorite surgeon to work with is Hange Zoe, because she’s brilliant and fast, but also cognizant of her patient’s hemodynamics. Levi likes taking trauma cases as long as it’s with her. When he drops a patient off to the trauma ICU or goes there to intubate, he makes sure Jean or Mikasa are there because he knows everything is gonna go smoothly. He trusts them a lot. He likes Armin, too and even let him intubate a few times. On his breaks, he’s drinking tea and reading a Williams & Sonoma catalog or scrolling through cleaning Tik Tok lol.

Erwin: This man. This beautiful and hunky beefcake. Omg. I HC him as someone who went to nursing school, became a charge nurse on the trauma unit back in the early 2000′s and fell in love with it. Erwin would eventually fall in love with leadership and educating, too. He went back to school and earned his Doctorate of Nursing Practice (a practice doctorate). He managed the trauma unit for ten years before his brilliant leadership skills and wicked smart brain got him elected as the Director of Trauma Surgery recently. He is the first person with a nursing degree and DNP to ever accomplish this, so it’s very controversial. A lot of toxic doctors threaten to leave the hospital for this (because they’re assholes), but Erwin threatens to fire them in response and it usually shuts them up. 

He often holds lectures in the hospital auditorium. With a mind and voice like his, people are so drawn in by him. He advocates for nursing staff, for reimbursement when continuing their education, better staffing, parking, etc. He makes nice with doctors and gets them to sign petitions for the nurses to get these things. He’s a bit manipulative He’s also a fantastic manager and director, he’s really good at negotiating things. The nurses and residents all love him because he rounds on every ICU frequently, brings food, and asks them how he can help. He can be a bit daunting because of his height and deep voice but once he starts talking to you, you just get sucked in. All around an absolute king. 

Hange: This character reminds me of a trauma surgeon and intensivist (ICU doctor) we have, Dr. Omi. A great surgeon, really really smart, but takes absolutely NO bullshit. She will yell at you if you freeze during intubating. She wants you to recite every step before you take it, otherwise she’ll take the tube from you and do it herself. In surgery, she’s the same way. She wants you to learn, but by her standards. If she asks a question, you better know the answer or fess up right away, she doesn’t like the “uhms” of uncertainty as you try to search for a shitty response. Either you know it or you don’t. And if you don’t, she’ll teach you. Yeah she can be rough around the edges, but she’s got a big heart. She loves her trauma team. She buys them breakfast and gives them funny personalized gifts. One time, she bought an apply tree for Mikasa and brought it to her car at the end of a shift. Mikasa forgot to plant it and it died in her backseat. Hange will sometimes ask, “Mikasa, how’s your apple tree growing?” and Mikasa will lie through her teeth. “It’s growing!” Fess up, Mikasa. Those google search apple trees are starting to look familiar.

All around Hange loves to work and teach. She is a wonderful trauma surgeon and has saved tons of lives.  

[makeroomforthejolyghost]

too lazy to find it rn but there’s this Old Classic post on spoonie tumblr the gist of which is like. everyone wants to know whether you’re too disabled to work, but if you can manage to work only by sacrificing your personal life to recovering from that stress no one gives a shit [ETA: it's this post!]

this doesn’t 100% apply to me? i only go to scrollege part-time; because of that i do get to have a social life on weekends, since i have friday and monday (and wednesday) off from classes too. most saturday evenings i play d&d, and most sunday evenings i video-chat w/ sirka

but i’m still Feeling It (that post, i mean) today. in particular i’m frustrated by the pressure i feel because of my ability to attend in-person classes, walk to and from the bus (and take short walks around my neighborhood on some of the days when i don’t have class), see my friends every weekend, &c. to label my symptoms as Mild and not-seriously-life-impairing

like? i keep telling myself, “well, it’s a lot milder/better managed than in fall 2016.” and—that’s kinda true? the pots is waaaay more under control now because of medication and lifestyle changes, probably also luck, &c. and, i mean. i used a wheelchair for outings like Going to Target back then; i can walk around target now as long as i sit down every time i see an empty bottom shelf. but this isn’t… better?? in some ways i’ve gotten worse at shopping, even laying aside pandemic-related anxiety, because the visual confusion is so overstimulating. and, y’know. i also can’t use that wheelchair anymore, because it hurts even more than walking does.

and also just. when i remember fall semester 2016, i think of forcing myself to walk quickly down the street at 7am for fear of missing the bus. how by the time i got to my seat i’d have no thoughts in my head, only unhappy exclamation points. that’s… exactly how i feel now when i get to the bus i have to rush for after class? i’m just haunted by a different kind of pain now, and also, have less emotional dysfunction over it since i don’t have to get up so damn early

like. i wonder if i’m not actually less impaired, just less unhappy? every tool i’ve ever tried to use to log the nature of my pain, debility &c. and how much these impact my ability to function seems to want me to communicate these things in terms of like. alarming new losses. “how many of your normal activities did you have to give up [yesterday] because of”—one, ok? only one: i skipped brushing my teeth and washing my face last night, because when you’re sufficiently tired even daily habits become foreign and confusing. but that’s because i’ve already learnt how much activity i can sustain, and shaped my life around that!

fucking?

i don’t know how to tell people—or the robots behind apps i’ve tried to use—that when you walk with a cane and wear six different braces and still have eleven joint subluxations in one day, that’s significantly bad?? even if you still made it to and even enjoyed all your classes? where is “i’m in extra pain but functioned as normal because my routine has redundancies.” and, in a more long-term sense, where is “this does not threaten my current lifestyle but has shaped it in its image.”

[jiskblr]

Blauprinz and his crew

My blood parents I never knew. Berliners, probably, but they left me in an anarchist-affiliated charity orphanage in Potsdam before I was six months old, so all I know for sure is that they named me Artur. I was adopted fairly late as these things go, about five, by the people who I consider my parents: Jurgen and Verena Carolingt. They could have had blood children, but chose to adopt, and frequently. When I was twelve I had five foster-sibs, but they slowed down after that; I only have two more sibs from the next decade, and they were adopted as the eldest four of us moved out. That's not counting Leo, who was their second fosterling; he was a real hellraiser and chafed at the academic's morality they tried to enforce, so he ran away to join a street gang. I got back in touch with him years later; for all that he left, he was as angry as me about - but that's getting ahead of myself.

My parents were academics, professors at Viadrina Universitat in Frankfurt-Oder, but in their more subtle way raised hell just as much as Leo. They grew up during the first partition, Da in East Germany and Ma in West Berlin, and they both hated the idea of hiding what they believed to cater to the powerful. They didn't budge in their convictions that everyone deserved a chance or that their conclusions deserved to be followed to their end. They believed in equality and metahuman rights, even when that was fairly unpopular, and they lived it. I'm a norm as were they, but my sibs are an even split of norms and orks plus one dwarf. They didn't adopt elves, who got snapped up more easily by more prejudiced parents, nor trolls, who posed logistical hurdles they didn't think they could deal with. (They felt bad about leaving out trolls, though, and donated generously to several charities for them. I do too, now, in their memory.) They budged just as little in their research, not even to stay quiet about it. When their research topics - applied sociology and economics of magic, for Da and Ma, respectively - developed from postulates to specific, inconvenient predictions and prescriptions for the practical world which got the corps to lean on their deans to quiet them down or kick them out, even so they stuck to their guns.

That pressure started to build around when I turned 18, and got worse as I went through my degree. When it all went to hell, I was a post-doc in applied modern theology - university-speak for 'shaman-ology' - and Zanne was a thesis candidate in high-energy experimental thaumics - studying when magic goes 'boom'. Gabi had given academia a serious try but it wasn't for her, so she'd become a net security wageslave in Potsdam - though honestly she'd be happier as a SINless decker. Fritz and Deb were undergrads at Viadrina, and Jost, Lotte, and Sascha were still young and at home. I don't understand what exactly was enraging the powers that be about their research; I think Mother had published something demonstrating that the publicly-known processes for producing refined orichalcite should produce a far lower market price, indicating that there was a covert cartel, and Father had models indicating that parts of the Eurowars didn't fit naturally with the known social dynamics pre-bellum, indicating deliberate provocation by some powerful force. True or not, either might have been the provocation. There had been escalating threats, but I wasn't living there, so I didn't hear about that; later, when I researched the background, I learned there’d been a fire started in the garage, broken windows, a chemical warfare agent left hissing in Dad's office after hours. But the first I heard of it was when I was back home, a week in late April, for Easter and Mother's birthday.

When some fucking Johnson carpet-firebombed the entire fucking house.

I don't know if they knew we'd be there. They had to know there were innocent children, there; Jost and Sascha weren't even ten yet. My parents died in the first few seconds, their corpses vaporized. Lotte was hugging Mother, so she was, too, and Fritz was just far enough away to leave dental records. Jost was less lucky; he roasted, but not quickly, and survived three hours before he died in agony. Deb lost a leg and an eye and as far as I know the pain's never stopped. Sascha was in the other room and got out, with severe scarring but none disabling. Zanne as well. Gabi wasn't there; the bosses wouldn't give her time off, and I'm not sure if that was a mercy or a curse. I was next to Father, and as far as the records know, I flash-fried like Lotte. But I'm a shaman of the Dragonslayer, and the fire washed over me. I tried to shield Dad with my body, but my totem isn't a protector; it preserved me, and much better than it would most of its shamans, but that didn't extend to him. I tried to help Jost when I realized he'd lived, but he told me to run and get revenge. I didn't realized Zanne or Sascha made it until much later; Zanne had hit her head and went unconscious quickly, and Sascha's response to pain always was to freeze up. But I kept it together enough to get to the basement, and there was ductwork Zanne had discovered years earlier and shown me, which connected it to three doors down. She'd also shown me the nearest part of the Berlin Underground - we snuck out through that ductwork - which had an ork gang she'd run with sometimes, so I thanked her memory about a hundred times that night. The gang leader by then, Ratbite, turned out to be one of the toughs she'd run with, and recognized me. I wasn't shy about using her memory to get a favor, and traded my shamanic skills - and some medical assistance - to get help going completely dark, wiping me from the databases so I could go truly SINless. He was pretty pissed when he found out she wasn't dead, but by then the favor was spent, and when she went dark as well she did him a couple favors and he mostly forgave me and accepted my excuse that I'd thought I was telling him the truth.

The official story was that the firebombs were thrown by a human-supremacist policlub, Nationale Aktion I believe, who objected to our outspokenly mixed-race family. This was bullshit, but plausible enough bullshit that the department heads and local politicians could easily pretend to believe it and be seen to Do Something in response, without that Something doing anything to harm corporate interests. Sascha I think believes that story, or prefers to act like he does. Deb, Gabi, and Zanne, though, didn't. And Zanne was good at causing explosions, but terrible at keeping her temper in check. She retaliated, with prejudice. Headline-making prejudice, which is how I and my temporary friend Ratbite learned she was alive. She had a big bounty for a couple years, but some anarchists gave her shelter before the corps reacted, and from there she became a runner as well. She didn't know I'd survived, though she did suspect, so I found her first, and joined the crew she ran with at the time. After that one came apart, the two of us have assembled all our future crews together. Well, mostly me, I'm the Face, but she still has better ties in anarchist and goblinoid circles; there's a lot of orks and trolls who won't trust a smoothskin, even one like me with an established rep.

Our vengeance is still a work in progress. The men who carried out the hit were deniable contractors, corp security from a minor place. They went down in an op our second year running, and the company got enough blowback from that job that it folded a year later. Finding out who gave the order is not quite done, but we've narrowed the field. I've got a solid network, and, well, my surviving siblings aren't any happier about it than me. Sascha pushed back when Zanne tried to contact him; I think he wants to put it behind him. Deb's a professor herself now, but she hasn't given up on justice, and Gabi-. She works for the corps, and counter to the ork stereotype is a very cold person in most ways; rationally, I know that gave me reasonable cause to doubt her. But after we finally made contact, we found her heart was cold, but a cold-burning hatred. A grudge aged like wine, but still so raw and deep that it feels unthinkable she could have made any other choice. Even the idea that she might have sided with her bosses over her family feels completely embarrassing to have considered. And Leo, like I said earlier, was almost as mad; he left home, but he still loved them for giving him a home to run from. (I hadn't realized, but he sent them gifts every Christmas, mostly hand-made, from the first year he'd left right through their deaths - he didn't learn about their deaths until he tried to deliver their gifts that year.) He's a complete ork stereotype, though, his anger is intense and searing. He'll let it go for months and then find something that reminds him again and smash up some corp's office, mostly at random. I try to give him more productive outlets when I can, but he refuses to go professional runner so he's probably going to end up landing in an early grave with his gang despite my best efforts. Not that we're really close, but I've lost too much family to let my crazy ex-brother join them.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Do you have any advice for writing a setting that would basically be a look into Earth 20-30 years after Animorphs happened? I like your exploration of post-canon so I'm curious about your thoughts about what further in the future might look like.

Biggest piece of advice: research galactic suburbia, and then figure out how to avoid it.

Galactic suburbia refers to any work of fiction set in a time and/or place that has no logical reason to reflect the social divisions of the author’s own time and place, and yet does.  It’s more obvious in works from earlier eras, such as how 2001: A Space Odyssey is filled with people acting out mid-1960s white American gender roles... in space!  But it’s definitely still present today; everything from Mistborn to Kingkiller Chronicles to The Expanse to Six of Crows will either pretend that sexism doesn’t exist in that universe or that sexism was solved years ago, while still portraying female characters as concerned with ornamenting themselves and male characters concerned with being in charge in order to ascribe to gender norms.  Obviously, this can be applied across identities — don’t get me started the way some sci fi works decide to address ableism through removing all disabled people from existence, because if that’s not American eugenics then I don’t know what is.

Some books that do an excellent job of breaking out of this trap: 

City of Thieves takes place in a culture that definitely has sexism, but cut along different lines than contemporary American culture — women are the source of all bloodlines, men are considered more expendable, and family units are comprised of adult siblings working together to raise children whose fathers are usually unknown.

Ancillary Justice is narrated by a character who comes from a culture with no conceptualization of gender, who frequently makes gaffes while navigating a culture with gender norms.

The Left Hand of Darkness takes a society where all people change sex as they age, and plays out that thought experiment into every aspect of the culture.

The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet is about a crew from a variety of cultures working together, including one character who comes from a culture with no nudity taboos where group sex is an everyday pastime and a different character who comes from a rigidly conservative Earth society, both of whom have to learn to respect each other’s differences.

Please note: I’m just rolling with the sexism example because it’s what came to mind, but it’s not hard to extend this to Inexplicably Homophobic Fantasy Cultures, Kingdom of White = Might = Right, etcetera.  All of those examples also have excellent subversion of or commentary upon racism, heteronormativity, classism, ableism, or all of the above.

ANYWAY, Animorphs.

A few ways I could see the technologies and cultural shifts of Animorphs having a long-term impact:

At least some people, at least some of the time, can change their bodies into completely different bodies.

Plus: probably greater ability for trans or disabled people to transform themselves for their own comfort and quality of life, with interesting implications for gender confirmation.

Minus: probably greater pressure upon disabled and trans people to “just change your body!” while ignoring all of the reasons they might be perfectly happy how they are and/or not in a position legally or financially to take on a whole new appearance.

Turns out, mind control is a thing.  And it’s perpetrated by alien slugs.

Plus: probably interesting neuroscience research implications, if all participants involved give their fully informed consent first.

Minus: everything I explored in Eleutherophobia.  Outsized fear of morph-capable hosts.  Inappropriate jokes about “I didn’t scratch your car; aliens made me do it.”  Suggestions that some people (i.e. no one I know) should just let yeerks control them because they can’t run their own lives.  Legal messes around intentionality.

Humans are not alone in the universe, and a lot of our neighbors are sentient.

Plus: cross-seeding of ideas, probably to the benefit of all cultures’ science and technology and arts.  Redefining of rights and protections, ideally to include hork-bajir and taxxons.  Broken view of humans as the center of the universe, or even the most important species on the planet.

Minus: whole new batch of prejudices.  Probably some people straight-up wanna annihilate the hork-bajir and taxxons, and feel comfortable saying so in public.

Andalites and humans canonically swapped z-space technology for Krispy Kreme recipes.

Plus: lots of new opportunities for humans to learn from andalites with regard to interstellar travel, peaceful breakup of urban centers, and how to run a society filled with lots of morphers.

Minus: you know that one American friend we all have who is, like, uncomfortably obsessed with British culture?  To the point of writing “colour” and saying “petrol”?  You know how that one person treats British culture as automatically being more valid and sophisticated than other cultures, and doesn’t take constructive criticism about that view being just an eensy bit imperialist as fuck?  Yeeeeaaaah, now just imagine it’s a human doing that with andalites.

That’s not meant to be an exhaustive list, just a bunch of spitballing to give you an idea of what I’m talking about.  Rather than asking how cars and cell phones would change in light of z-space technology, instead consider asking how flying and intergalactic phones would change us as a society.

[homelandsexual]

ADHD Tip: Keep a running log of what you’re doing and how long those things take to give your day structure while working from home

Are you good at making plans for how you’re going to spend unstructured time but then never stick to those plans?

Try keeping a journal with

1) bullet notes of what you need to do

2) a written record of what meds you took at what time

3) a running time log of what you’ve ALREADY done and how long it took.

Make sure you write EVERYTHING down, especially the amount time that you spend distracted. This can also be a great place for reminders or to note what things are giving you trouble and how you’re feeling.

Story Time: I was diagnosed with ADHD and executive dysfunction during my freshman year of high school.

During my junior year, I struggled a lot with the SATs. I could never finish the time. Luckily, I come from a moderately wealthy family, so we could afford one of those fancy SAT tutors who specializes in working with disabled students. I know that most folks can’t afford that kind of specialized help, so I decided to share one study trick that has been really helpful for working from home.

Basically, the tutor had me WRITE THE TIME AT THE BOTTOM OF EACH PAGE as I took practice tests, so that she could identify the specific types of questions that were slowing me down. Overtime, I figured out that THE ACT OF WRITING DOWN THE TIME alone improved my focus. I’ve been using this test taking strategy ever since. Recently, I’ve started applying this logic to working from home by keeping DETAILED TIME LOGS like the one above.

I’ve found that it really helps on a number of fronts:

1. It forces you to periodically look at the clock eliminating time blindness.

I often find myself in a double-bind when it comes to work and breaks. On one hand, I can’t focus for big stretches without taking a break. On the other time, I tend to loose track of time during my breaks and never return to the task. Having a log forces me to get in the habit of frequently looking at a clock helping keep 10 minute breaks from turning into 3 hour YouTube binges. I’ve found that -> -> Writing Down The First Thing I Plan To Do After My Break <- <- also really helps get me back on track.

2. It helps you get into hyperfocus.

People with ADHD tend to do their best work right before the deadline because time pressure helps initiate hyperfocus. Keeping a time log gives a similar stress-boost.

3. It helps disrupt the cycles of procrastination and guilt.

Do you do that thing where you procrastinate then feel guilty about wasting your time then procrastinate even more because you don’t want to think about how guilty you feel? Does that thinking sometimes turn into vicious, debilitating, and self-destructive cycles that keep you both miserable and unproductive? Me too. Since I started keeping time logs, I’ve realized that half the time that guilt is misplaced. I wasn’t really procrastinating; I had just overestimated the amount of time that I had or underestimated how long other things (like eating, laundry, and showers) actually take. Having a log has helped me stop the procrastination / guilt cycle by making it easier to objectively evaluate how I’m spending my time.

4. It helps you make plans for tackling big projects in the future.

Fun fact: most people tend to vastly underestimate how long big projects take and then make plans that are impossible to keep up with. For me, this can cause vicious cycles of guilt and procrastination. Having a log helps me rationally estimate the amount of time big projects actually take based on past experience. That means making plans I can actually stick to.

5. It helps you identify and eliminate distractions.

This one is pretty obvious. Having a record of what things tend to distract you and for how long makes it easier to identify and remove distractions in the future.

6. It helps you remember your meds.

Not every person with ADHD takes medicine, but for those who do, it can be difficult to remember to take them. I have multiple prescriptions, so often, I find it difficult to remember what meds I’ve taken and when, which can lead me to accidentally skip doses, double doses, or take the wrong type of medicine altogether. This is a big problem because most ADHD meds are STIMULANTS. Messing up your dosage can lead to panic attacks and sleep problems. Having a written record of what I’ve taken and when helps prevent mistakes.

Everyone is struggling to adjust to working from home, but it’s so much harder for people with ADHD. We already struggle with self-motivating and tend to rely on external things to structure our time. Weird prolonged emergencies like the one we’re living + disruptions to daily routines + big chunks of unstructured time = ADHD kryptonite! I hope this helps. If you have any other tips for working from home with ADHD, feel free to add them below or in the comments.

TLDR; Global emergency + disruption to daily routines + big chunks of unstructured time = ADHD kryptonite. As an ADHD-er myself, I’ve found that keeping a detailed time log like the one in the picture above helps. If you have have ADHD (or you just suck at time management), this might help you too.

[casual-eumetazoa]

1, 8, and 22 for the trans asks!

How did you choose your name?

when i first started looking for a name i basically had two criteria - i wanted it to start with the same letter as my birth name and i wanted it to be somewhat gender-neutral / have a gender-neutral variant because i IDed as nonbinary at the time. and i went through a ton of versions, like i would stay on name list websites for hours looking at names and did not like anything. especially cause i was trying to find something that would have a Slavic version and a lot of cool names i liked did not have anything close to them in Slavic languages

and in the end i picked “Matthew” because i was watching Daredevil at the time and realized that i really liked his name lol. also cause it had a gender-neutral version - Mattie - which i still absolutely love even though i realized i was really a binary trans man pretty soon after i picked that name. and it is an old name so it does have versions in both Russian (Matvei) and Polish (Mateusz) so it worked out

8. How would you explain your gender identity to others?

there’s not much to explain really beyond explaining the concept of being transgender. like, i don’t have the same issues as nonbinary people have at least, because everyone knows what a man is lol. in terms of explaining the concept of being trans to people, honestly i fall into biological/neurological explanations even though it is not 100% accurate to what i actually believe. as in, i do believe that gender identity comes from the brain because everything about us comes from the brain, but i don’t actually think it is all down to hormones or genes during embryonic development... 

i do agree it is at least to some extent cultural and experience-based and people with the exact same structure of those gender-determining regions of the brain (which are a pretty small part of the brain anyway, and have not yet been properly identified and described) can have different gender identities because gender identity isn’t just the sex of your nervous tissue, it’s a much more malleable and amorphous concept. culture and life experience and language and so on is definitely a part of it i think

but when i am talking to cis ppl, you know... it’s like that meme with Greek philosophers and toddlers lmao. i just go “yeah it is because testosterone has an effect on certain parts of your brain and your gender is just another sex characteristic like chromosomes or genitals” cause i am not going to give them a five hour long lecture about gender like, i just don’t have the time and attention span for that lol

22. Do your neurodivergencies and/or disabilities affect your gender?

i think so, yeah! i mean, there is empirical evidence that autistic people identify as non-cis at much higher rates than neurotypicals, so it is a pretty good guess that me being autistic has something to do with me being trans.

specifically i think that, because my brain is not as good at picking up social norms and gender stereotypes/roles, i don’t feel like i grew up “socialized as female”. i identified as a girl up until i was 16 or so, sure, but i don’t think i ever felt the pressure of gender stereotypes meant for girls... i was raised in a pretty gender-neutral way and while i did have certain experiences that are way more common for women (like being catcalled for example), it just sort of never stuck with me that i was experiencing it As A Girl yknow?

i was very aware of the societal pressure on women but it never felt like that pressure applied to me as much. and i don’t think i even grasped the distinction between girls and boys at the same age as everyone else because i hanged out with both boys and girls as a kid and it didn’t feel like, Different. idk, the influence of gender roles is so strong it is impossible to escape it completely but i do feel like it did not stick as well on me as it did on other people

also trying to figure out my gender was probably more difficult because of autism but hey, i figured it out in the end so i wouldn’t say it is a huge negative or anything

[arofili]

Worldbuilding Exchange Letter 2021

Hello lovely creator, thanks for creating for me in the Worldbuilding Exchange! I’m very excited and grateful for whatever you create for me <3

This letter will restate my DNWs, list my likes, give you a brief rundown of my canon preferences, and then dive into specific prompts for each of my requests.

I’ll warn you upfront that I tend to ramble, so feel free to skip prompts that don’t interest you and/or use ctrl+F to search for whatever it is you want to write for.

My requests are divided by fandom, and in the case of the Silm + Middle-earth Legendarium, by topic too, so hopefully that will be helpful for you! Also, my TAZ request is waaay down at the bottom, so if that’s what you’re here for, just go to the bottom of the page.

Housekeeping:

DNWs:

Non-con

Unrequested dub-con

Abusive/Neglectful parenting (especially wrt Fëanor)

Sibling incest, parent-child incest (cousin pairings are fine)

Unhappy/Unhopeful endings (unless otherwise specified)

Jealousy/Possessiveness

Cheating

Character or ship bashing

Hanahaki/any scenario where unrequited love is physically damaging

Soulmates, especially soulmate AUs (soul bonds are OK, if there is choice involved)

Porn without plot (Porn with plot is fine!)

Food involved in sex

Unrequested Modern AU

Non-trans mpreg

If you’re writing a slash ship where the characters are/were married to/involved with someone outside the ship, please don’t have the character(s) hate their spouse or not have been actually in love with them (the one exception is Finrod; I’m fine with him and Amarië not having been actually in love, but please don’t do this for anyone else, especially not Fëanor)

Hobbit/LOTR-specific DNWs:

The concept of a dwarven “One”

Any Fíli pairing

Alfrid

Legolas or Gimli paired with anyone other than each other

no smut for these fandoms, please

Silm-specific DNWs:

Evil/irredeemable/incel Maeglin

Elwing bashing

Fëanorian bashing

Over the top Fëanorian apologism (they did bad stuff; it was at least partially their fault. you don’t have to address that, necessarily, but don’t rewrite the story to claim they were blameless)

Fingon with a wife

Fingon or Maedhros ships that don’t take Russingon into account (polyamory, an open relationship, Mae with someone after Finno dies or vice versa for an AU, them with other people while they’re separated on the Ice/in Angband - all of these scenarios are fine, but in the end I need them to be with each other first and foremost)

Dark!Maedhros

Elvish re-embodiment after death being an actual, literal rebirth that requires the characters to have a second childhood; I much prefer them being granted a new hröa in their prime (feel free to explore what “in their prime” means, though, especially wrt scarred and disabled elves)

~~~

Likes:

(these might not all apply to worldbuilding, but they might give you a place to start from!)

Gen fic

Found family

Family dynamics

Loving families, even when things get complicated

Friendship, intense/important platonic relationships

Relationships that defy categorization

Queerplatonic relationships

Polyamory

Queer headcanons (especially aromantic-spectrum headcanons)

Trans/nonbinary headcanons (genderbending is also fine, but I prefer trans/nb hcs)

Angst with a happy ending

Gray morality

Explorations of magic

Most tropes

Fanon and fandom tropes

Deconstruction/Inversion of fanon and fandom tropes

Interspecies relationships

Peredhil

Secret relationships

Secret relationships coming to light

Secret kids (especially secret peredhil!)

Giving ships OC kids

OCs interacting with canon characters

Confessions of love

First times

Hurt/comfort

Redemption, forgiveness, mercy

Ironic foreshadowing

Canon divergence AUs/X Lives AUs

Politics and scheming

Resolving conflicting canonical details

Historical/Narrative bias affecting what is and isn’t “canon” (to an extent; changing motivations, consequences, etc is great, but please don’t ignore canon entirely)

Elrond & Elros having complicated relationships with both their bio and adoptive parents

Names fitting the time period (Quenya names in Valinor, please; if this is difficult for you, that’s okay, no pressure, but I do strongly prefer it)

Names having a lot of thought put behind them (does the character go back to their original Quenya name upon rebirth? or do they keep their Sindarin name? or come up with something else entirely? do they hate their new Sindarin name and resent having to use it, or do they embrace it? As long as you put some thought into it, I’m sure I’ll like whatever you decide!)

Author’s notes where you explain your thought process, if you want; I love hearing how the story took shape!

~~~

Preferences re: Canon:

LaCE compliance is always completely optional (except if you’re choosing a prompt that is specifically about LaCE, lol). If you do want to include it, that’s great, but if you just want the characters to fuck without having that be an issue, go for it. I love explorations of LaCE that take into account the exceptions, boundaries, definitions, etc; I also love takes that emphasize that they are Laws and Customs, not biological imperatives.

I’m not picky about my Amrod deaths. He can die at either Losgar or Sirion (or, hell, some other time/place if you make it interesting enough!), whatever works best for the story. I do like Lightly Toasted Amrod, aka he almost burns to death at Losgar but survives/gets rescued at the last minute.

Gil-galad theories are all very fun. Please don’t make him the son of Fingon and a wife; if he’s Fingon’s son, I want Maedhros to be involved at least a little bit (adoption or trans mpreg are both fine in this scenario). Otherwise, I don’t have a particular preference, though if it’s not really relevant I usually default to the son of Orodreth (who is in turn the son of Angrod). Also, I’ve requested “Origins of Gil-galad”; there’s more information on him in that section.

Honestly, when it comes to theories and headcanons, my rule of thumb is “convince me”! I’m down for whatever, for the most part, as long as you can justify it :)

~~~

For all of these, “suggested characters” pulls from the list of characters I requested with that signup, but if you’ve got an idea involving other characters then go for it! And in the end, all characters are just suggestions, this exchange is more about the worldbuilding :)

~~~

The Hobbit (Book)

Adventuring Hobbits Before Bilbo: Who were they? Did they ever come back, or was Bilbo assumed dead because of precedent? Were they all Tooks, or did some other hobbits tag along on adventures, too? Suggested Character(s): Belladonna Took

Dragon Magic & Dragon-hunting: Talk to me about dragons! I’m interested in dragons & dwarves, especially in relation to the first time dwarves were driven from Erebor and into the North and the War of the Dwarves and Dragons. What kinds of dragons set their sights on the mountain? How old was Smaug when all that was happening; did he learn anything from the failures of his kin? Who were the dragon-hunting dwarves who fought in that war? Suggested Character(s): Smaug, Original Dwarf Character

Dwarven Craft and Magic: Enchanted weapons, enchanted armor, runes and spells...all so interesting! Borrowing from the movies a bit, did Kíli’s runestone from Dís have any magic power? What’s the deal with the Arkenstone’s thrall? How do elf and dwarf magics intersect when it comes to objects like Bilbo’s mithril coat? Suggested Character(s): Dís, Frerin, Thorin, Original Dwarf Character (perhaps a craftsdwarf?)

Dwarves and Gender: We need more dwarf women! And I’d love any takes on nonbinary dwarves and/or dwarf-specific genders. Were there female dwarves in the Company that Bilbo mistook for male dwarves? Are dwarven women really only a third of the population? If dwarf men and women are very similar in appearance, how do they differentiate between them, or do they differentiate at all? If you included something about dwarvish braiding styles indicating gender, class, marital status, I would be delighted. Suggested Character(s): Dís, Frerin, Thorin, Original Dwarf Character; in this case I’d prefer a focus on canon characters, but OCs interacting with them would be marvelous, especially people like Dís’ spouse.

The Black Arrow: Bard’s little pep talk to his arrow has always intrigued me. I’d love to see your take on the origins of the Black Arrow. Does it really come from Erebor, and if so, who made it? How did Bard and his forefathers come to acquire it? (I like the movie version that ties it into Girion’s attempt to kill Smaug, so feel free to incorporate that if you feel like it.) Is the arrow enchanted? (Perhaps that could be tied to the Dwarven Craft and Magic tag!) Suggested Character(s): Bard, Original Character from Dale, Original Dwarf Character

The Stone Giants & Were-worms: I don’t have many thoughts on these guys except “neat! tell me more!” I’m fascinated by the creatures Tolkien only gives us a passing mention of; if you feel like it, maybe you could combine these tags with some of the creatures in the LOTR tagset (crebain, cold drakes, Watcher in the Water, Mearas, Kine of Araw, etc...I didn’t sign up with all those tags, but it would be neat to hear about them anyway!)

~~~

The Lord of the Rings (Books)

Cold-drakes and Fire-drakes & Crebain & The Watcher in the Water: Like with the Stone Giants and the Were-worms, I just think they’re neat and I’d love to hear your take on their origins and how they affect the history of Middle-earth. Feel free to combine this with other creature-related requests. Suggested Character(s): Scatha

Ghosts and Hauntings: Barrow-wights? Nazgûl victims? Just your crotchety old hobbit neighbor who still holds a grudge about losing the biggest pumpkin contest despite having been dead for 20 years? There’s a lot of potential for stories here; maybe you could combine a ghost story with some other prompt to add a murder mystery or haunting plot to a relationship you’re exploring!

Dwarf-Elf Relations: I don’t believe All Dwarves and All Elves hated each other! We have famous elf-dwarf friendships across the ages, and really it was just the Sindar vs. the Broadbeams/Firebeards that had the feud. Still, Legolas (a Sinda) and Gimli (raised among Broadbeams and Firebeards in the Blue Mountains) are caught up in that, so their friendship is quite remarkable! I’d love interrogations of how that feud continued across centuries and discussions of what really went down in Menegroth, perhaps with one of the Durins having an elf friend at some point in the past that sheds light on how Legolas and Gimli can get along. (I am here for any and all Gimli and Legolas combinations; I love them as friends, I love them as boyfriends or husbands, I love them as queerplatonic partners, I love them as anything in between! Do whatever you’d like with them!) Suggested Character(s): Gimli, Legolas, Original Elf Character, Any of Durins 1-7

Elvish and Mannish settlements in post-Ring War Ithilien: How do Legolas and Faramir get along, both living in Ithilien after the war? What do Legolas’ people think about being neighbors with a bunch of Men? Faramir and Imrahil were Aragorn’s chief commanders after the war, and Legolas expressed admiration for Imrahil; I imagine Imrahil visited his nephew in Ithilien, so what are the interactions of those three like? I’d love to see an exploration of Silvan elves and their culture here, with Legolas leaning into his Silvan heritage and maybe some Silvan OCs who have spent their whole lives in Mirkwood up until now and have never met Men before now! Suggested Character(s): Faramir, Legolas, Imrahil, Original Elf Character

Relations between the Dúnedain and Rivendell: Talk to me about the Grey Company, or Elladan and Elrohir fighting alongside their distant kin, or Rangers taking breaks in Imladris, how the Rangers think of Aragorn who was raised among elves, etc. I’d love an outsider POV here, such as an OC observing the oddities of a canon character. Suggested Character(s): Original Elf Character, Original Ranger of the North

The Glittering Caves of Aglarond: More Gimli and Legolas stuff - but with a focus on Gimli this time :) Gimli as a lord in his own right, Gimli who takes elves on tours of his dwarf-kingdom and weirds out his people (is it just Legolas, or does he take any Silvan elves with him, or like...his elvish in-laws??), Gimli as a craftsman... Or, alternatively, you could explore the caves before Gimli gets to work on them, what the Rohirrim thought of them and how they were created - by natural processes, or by magic, or a mixture of both? Did Aulë make them for the dwarves to find, perhaps? Suggested Character(s): Gimli, Legolas

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The Hobbit (Movies)

Dragonsickness/Goldsickness: The parallel to mental illness in the movies was really interesting. I’d love to see lingering effects of the goldsickness on Thorin after the Battle (Everyone Lives AU, probably), or an AU where Fíli or Kíli inherit the throne of Erebor and are afflicted by it as well. Or, sticking to canon, how did Fíli and Kíli and the rest of the Company deal with Thorin falling into madness? Were the other dwarves affected by the thrall of the gold? Bard and Thranduil were observers of Thorin’s madness; what did they think of him? Did Thranduil remember Thrór under dragonsickness? Or, since movie!Thranduil is a far cry from book!Thranduil when it comes to going to war over jewels, was he affected by the dragonsickness even from a distance? Was Bard? Suggested Character(s): Thorin, Fíli, Kíli, Bard the Bowman, Thranduil

Dwarves who "choose craft"/Aromantic-Spectrum and Asexual-Spectrum Dwarves: This is pulling more from the books than the movies, but I didn’t have enough nomination slots to include any book nominations, so it went here, lol. Anyway: as I’m sure you can tell from my tumblr url, I headcanon Fíli as aromantic, and I love seeing that in fanworks! It’s really wonderful that Tolkien mentioned that many dwarves choose their craft over marriage, and I’d love to see an exploration of that aspect of dwarvish culture, and how Fíli fits into it. It seems to be fairly common/accepted, but are there different cultural pressures around marriage for the crown prince? How does Fíli figure out he’s aromantic? If aro and ace dwarves are expected to be choosing a craft over romance and sex, what’s Fíli’s craft? Or does he not have one, and people judge him for that? The “choose craft” language I use is very much inspired by this post and the Neo-Khuzdul word “bijebtorva” :) Suggested Character(s): Fíli, Original Character(s)

Governance and Politics in Mirkwood: How did Thranduil and Oropher come to power in the Greenwood? I hate the “lowly Silvan elf” line from the movie; can you somehow justify that with worldbuilding, or show how it’s not accurate? Is Legolas half-Silvan like is implied in the LOTR books? Who are Thranduil’s advisors? Is Tauriel really the only one who dislikes and defies Thranduil’s isolationist policies? Is Mirkwood very patriarchal, and is Tauriel’s appointment to Captain of the Guard something she faced opposition or competition for? Are the Sindar elite colonizers, or did they integrate into Silvan society? How does the average Silvan elf feel about their king, or do they not even think about him? Suggested Character(s): Thranduil, Tauriel, Original Character(s)

Poetry and prophecy: Bard uncovers that tapestry that turns a song from the book into a somewhat ominous prophecy; there’s a lot of discussion of fate and signs from the thrush at the door to the last light of Durin’s Day; Thranduil has seen enough in his thousands of years to have had time to brush up against a prophecy or two. What do these three believe about fate and prophecy? Are any of them prophets in their own right? How does poetry/music lend power to prophecy? (Bonus points if you tie it back into the Ainulindalë...) Suggested Character(s): Bard the Bowman, Thorin, Thranduil

Poisons and antidotes: I love Kíli/Tauriel and the scene where she heals his wound...but the worldbuilding around morgul poison and athelas is a little murky. It’s a decent parallel to Frodo’s condition in the LOTR movies, but it’s confusing lore-wise. Can you make sense of it? If Tauriel is a warrior, where did she learn healing? (In my own headcanons, her foster family are healers, which is how she learned those skills even though she’s primarily a warrior - but feel free to take it in whatever direction you’d like!) Suggested Character(s): Tauriel, Kíli, Original Character(s)

Rebuilding Erebor & Relations between Dwarves + Elves + Men: (I’d prefer an Everyone Lives AU for this situation.) How do Thorin and his Company put Erebor back together again? What are the renovation projects like? How long does it take Dís and the rest of the Longbeards to arrive in Erebor and help out? How long does Dáin stay to help his cousin? I would love to see some politics both internally within the Longbeard dwarves and externally as they relate to Mirkwood and Dale. Smaug’s corpse is just lying in the Long Lake...how do the dwarves feel about their old enemy’s body so close by? Do some Men want to re-establish Lake-town, and demand help from the dwarves who flushed the dragon out of the mountain? Do the dwarves want to harvest Smaug’s corpse for resources? (He’s probably got gold and jewels stuck in his scales, and dragon-skin/scales is probably a good raw material for crafting things.) What’s the process of Bard becoming King of Dale? Does he face any opposition? I love the idea of Hilda Bianca challenging him for leadership, or maybe insisting on some kind of democracy/representation in Dale! And if she doesn’t get her way, maybe it’s her leading some people back to Esgaroth and founding a democracy there that would make the old Master roll in his watery grave... How do Bard and Thranduil and Thorin reconcile after the battle? Does Thorin pay up like he said he would? Does Tauriel hang around, or does she go somewhere else? Are any elves inspired by her, or is she a total outcast? If you choose to explore the Kíli/Tauriel relationship, how does that affect politics between Erebor and Mirkwood? Suggested Character(s): Thorin, Fíli, Kíli, Bard the Bowman, Hilda Bianca, Thranduil, Tauriel, Original Character(s)

Tauriel's fate after the Battle of the Five Armies: This is for exploring what happened to Tauriel in canon. Does she wander the world and explore new places? How long does she mourn Kíli? What does she do with the runestone? Does she return to Mirkwood, and if so, how does she manage to get back into Thranduil’s good graces? There are a million different ways to take this, I’d love to see your take on her! Suggested Character(s): Tauriel, Thranduil, Original Character(s)

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The Silmarillion: Magic & Spirits

Houseless Elves: Why did they refuse the call of Mandos? Do Avari even go to Mandos? Can Melkor and Sauron ensnare these spirits for their necromantic purposes? If the call of Mandos is refused once, does that bar them from listening in the future? What kinds of ghosts are haunting Middle-earth in the First Age? What kinds of ghosts haunt Aman? Suggested Character(s): Original Character(s), Melkor

Magic as a connection to the Music/the Song: Magic isn’t always the best-explained in Tolkien’s universe, but what we do know is the incredible power of the Music. How do the Maiar and Valar, who are not technically beings of Arda, interact with the world? How do elves and men (and dwarves! and orcs!) tap into the Song and manipulate it to their benefit (or detriment)? I have the headcanon that Elemmírë, the elf who sung the Aldudénië, is a priestess of Varda; what was the power of that mourning song, and how was it received by her patron Vala? Suggested Character(s): Elemmírë, Varda, Melian, Melkor, Original Character(s)

Nature Spirits: These holes in Tolkien’s worldbuilding are fascinating to me. What role do nature spirits play? How many are there? I’m thinking particularly of river spirits, like the River-woman and Goldberry, but there are probably also mountain spirits and water spirits and-and-and... Are they Maiar? Lesser beings? What do the Maiar we know of think about them? Gandalf seems the kind to listen to them and learn their stories, but perhaps Melian sees them more as servants in protecting her realm... Suggested Character(s): Melian, Original Character(s)

The Shadow-shapes in the hills above Cuiviénen: What were these shapes? Melkor’s prototypical monsters, Maiar who didn’t know how to interact with the Children, something else entirely? What did the original elves believe about them? Did they fear them, did they try to appease them, did they try to confront them? I headcanon that Elemmírë is an Unbegotten elf, so perhaps she lost friends to the Shadows, or thought she did. If the Shadows did take elves, was it out of malice or curiosity or a desire to protect them from whatever Melkor was planning? Suggested Character(s): Melkor, Elemmírë, Original Character(s)

The Void: Melkor spends a whole lot of time here. Does he have any company? Something or someone he makes to pass the time with? Do the Valar (like Manwë or Námo or Varda or Nienna) visit him there? What is the nature of the Void, is it pure emptiness or chaotic magic or a nightmare machine? Is Melkor being punished or is he being contained? And where are the boundaries of the Void? Varda rules the heavens; does her realm bleed into Melkor’s prison? Suggested Character(s): Melkor, Varda, Original Character(s)

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The Silmarillion: Elven Relationships

Note: This request deals with relationships, and while I’m open to pretty much anything, please keep in mind my DNWs. Exploring these topics using canon relationships is a safe bet; I adore Maedhros/Fingon so having a look at them through this lens would be amazing; I have Aredhel as a character request here, and I see her as aromantic (“to none was her heart’s love given”) so while showing her in a relationship is fine, I’d love it if you could take her lack of romantic feelings into account; if you have a question about another ship, you can check to see what I’ve written and/or send me anon message! Additionally, a lot of these talk about soul bonds, which I’m very interested in, but one of my DNWs is soulmates. To me the concepts are very different things; it’s the destiny and inevitability and universal assumption of romance that really squick me out about soulmates. Soul bonds, on the other hand, have an aspect of choice to them that I really dig. So, please don’t make characters Fated For One Another, but please do explore what joining souls is like!

Laws & Customs of the Eldar: Boy do I have a lot of feelings about LaCE—and I’m always intrigued by other people’s feelings, too! I’d love to see an exploration of how these laws and customs came to be, which parts of the rules around marriage and children and re-embodiment are social constructs and which are innate to the fëa and hröa, and/or relationships that defy the norms. If your take on the laws is hetero/cisnormative, how does that affect queer elves? If your take is free of bigotry, what are the flexibilities around queerness, including asexuality and aromanticism? Laws and customs and rules always have loopholes and exceptions, so what do elves who don’t fit into the expected relationship mold do about these norms? Suggested Character(s): Aredhel, Maedhros, Fingon, Elrond, Any Unbegotten Elf Character(s)

Arranged Marriages among the Eldar: Russingon arranged marriage AU?? Orrrr....Maedhros or Fingon are politically engaged to someone else, and they have to deal with the ramifications of that? (Please don’t have them actually go through with the marriage if you go that route; I’m not interested in a story with Fingon having a wife, even if she’s a beard.) If elves (usually) only love once, and by declaration of the Valar can only marry once (Finwë being the somewhat disastrous exception), how is an arranged marriage justified within the cultural emphasis on these bonds? Are they more like arranged romances, people pushing their children together in hopes that they’ll fall in love? Or is it a stricter rule about “you do what’s best for this family”? (Note: Bad/cruel parenting is one of my major DNWs, so if you’re going that route, please don’t make the parent uncaring or malicious. Stubborn and narrow-minded is fine, as is the genuine belief that this is what’s best for the child, but ideally they’ll learn from their mistakes or perhaps everything will be interrupted and derailed by Canon Events. This is especially important wrt to Fëanor.) Suggested Character(s): Maedhros, Fingon

Creation/Discovery of soul bonds: How do soul bonds work on a metaphysical level? Can they be broken? Do they have to be nurtured and maintained? What’s long-distance communication like? Heck, what’s short-distance communication like, is it like talking in your mind or sharing your feelings or more abstract than that? Can elves form soul bonds with mortals? And most importantly—how did elves figure out they could soul bond with one another?? I can imagine that would be quite a shock when they’re discovering sex and then suddenly they’re inside each other’s minds! Suggested Character(s): Any Unbegotten Elf Character(s)

Non-romantic/sexual soul bonds: I’m good with practically any relationship here. Explore sibling bonds, twin bonds, parent-child bonds, queerplatonic bonds, found family bonds, adoption bonds, the bond between a Vala and their Maia...any kind of soul bond that is familial or platonic or chosen without regard to romance! (Feel free to take a canon romantic relationship and turn it queerplatonic, I live for that shit!) How are these bonds formed outside of sex? What are the rituals and ceremonies around forming them? Is it a public or private thing? Are non-romantic soul bonds taken seriously, or are they seen as less important than marriage bonds? Since elven parents literally give part of their soul in the creation of the child, is that parent-child bond innate? Suggested Character(s): Aredhel, Any Unbegotten Elf Character(s)

Elven adoption: I nominated this with Kidnap Dads in mind (if you go that route I love fluff for them as well as more nuanced/complicated takes on the situation, but whatever you do don’t make M&M cruel, and please include Maedhros as a parental figure alongside Maglor)...but hey, it could work for Fingon (and Maedhros) adopting Gil-galad! What are traditions around elven adoption? Are there soul bonds created between the adoptive parents and children? Was adoption even a thing in Aman, or is it only practiced in Middle-earth? Did elves adopt mortals and vice versa? Is adoption extended to found family other than a parent-child situation? How is adoption viewed by elvish society, especially if inheritance/succession is a concern? Suggested Character(s): Maedhros, Fingon, Elros Tar-Minyatur, Elrond

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The Silmarillion: Noldorin Politics

Original Fëanorian follower(s) who turned on their lords at Sirion: Okay, this is a character tag, but I’m absolutely obsessed with this line: “For the sons of Fëanor that yet lived came down suddenly upon the exiles of Gondolin and the remnant of Doriath, and destroyed them. In that battle some of their people stood aside, and some few rebelled and were slain upon the other part aiding Elwing against their own lords (for such was the sorrow and confusion in the hearts of the Eldar in those days).” Who were these people who followed the Fëanorians into exile, into a Kinslaying, through the burning of the ships, through 30 years of Maglor as a king-regent incapable of treating with the Nolofinwëans, through the scattering of their lords and the harsh conditions of the North, through the Bragollach and the Nírnaeth and a “wild and woodland life” and the Second Kinslaying (where some of them went as far as to abandon children in the winter woods to die because they thought it was what their lord/s would want), through isolation and hatred from every other elven group, through the plan to attack a refugee camp—through ALL OF THAT, and THEN they turn on their lords at Sirion??? Why betray your lords NOW? And the people who DID keep following them after that (after kidnapping children!!!), what were they thinking?? — I firmly believe that Maedhros has many escapees from Angband in his service who are ride or die for him and whose morality was somewhat warped by Angband, but what about Maglor’s followers? Caranthir’s? Ambarussa’s? Even Celegorm and Curufin’s?? There’s just SO MUCH potential for story here, I’m dying to read about them!

Noldorin lines of succession: Was It Sexist Or Was It Not: The Eternal Question aka Why Didn’t Idril Become High Queen After Turgon? Also, what does ���eldest of the house of Finwë, and not the least wise” even MEAN, Maedhros?? How did Gil-galad come to power? I find it hard to believe he became king immediately after Gondolin fell; was it a wartime power grab? A battlefield promotion? How did the kingship get established in the first place? Why was Finwë chosen to go with Oromë to Aman? Was Maglor ever really king, or did he only rule as a regent for the missing Maedhros? Suggested Character(s): Finwë, Gil-galad, Maglor

Origins of Gil-galad: I am always so interested in takes on Gil-galad’s parentage. My favorites are Russingon baby Gil (through trans mpreg or adoption, both are good) and secret peredhel Gil (probably an Aegnor/Andreth baby adopted by Orodreth), but I also love Finduilas Is Gil-galad and honestly, any situation is fascinating here—just convince me! A possible way to explore this is through Outsider POV; some noble or historian trying to figure out just what the heck is up with Gil-galad. His parentage being confusing in-canon is so fun!! Suggested Character(s): Gil-galad, Original Nobility of the Noldor

Maglor's Kingship between Maedhros' capture and rescue: Was Maglor ever really king? Did he give up on Maedhros early on, or did he cling to the hope that he still lived? Did his brothers turn to him for support, or did they connive to take responsibility from him? The rift between the Noldor wasn’t healed until Maedhros’ rescue; did Maglor try to cooperate with Fingolfin, or did he keep his people isolated? Was he relieved when Maedhros came back and took responsibility, or was he resentful to lose his power? How does this situation (and Maglor not going to rescue Maedhros) affect M&M’s relationship later on? Suggested Character(s): Maglor, Original Fëanorian follower(s)..., Curufin, Caranthir

Dwarf-Elf relations in the First Age & Dwarf-kingdoms: Dwarf-friends!!! Yes!!! I love elves and dwarves being buds (or partners if you’d like to go that route!) <3 IIRC, Curufin learned Khuzdul, and I’m sure Celebrimbor did too; Caranthir was supposedly rude to the dwarves, but what if that’s just his (and their!) love language? How did relations between the Sindar and the dwarves sour over time? Maedhros was friends with Azaghâl; how did that relationship begin? How did Finrod’s contract with the dwarves blossom into a real friendship? Eöl was also buddies with the dwarves; did he ever bump into Curufin or Caranthir while at a trade festival or something? And the dwarf kingdoms of the First Age are fascinating on their own, too; what was the political structure like? Did the dwarves bring items from the other side of the mountains into Beleriand? How did the petty-dwarves get exiled? What happened to Nogrod and Belegost in the War of Wrath, and were they ever re-established after the sinking of Beleriand? Suggested Character(s): Curufin, Caranthir

Guilds and Noble Houses of Tirion: Give me a Tirion political drama! Finwë trying to appease his lords and craftseldar? Indis integrating into Noldorin society and making connections with the noble houses? Arranged marriage situation between Nolofinwë and Anairë? The younger princes running amok and causing chaos in their elders’ carefully-laid plans and delicately balanced alliances? Suggested Character(s): Finwë, Indis, Original Nobility of the Noldor, Curufin, Caranthir, Maglor

Roles and Responsibilities in the Noldorin Royal Family: There were oodles of princes in Valinor. What did they all do? How did they get the followers who came with them to Middle-earth? Were they free to pursue their own crafts, or did they have responsibilities to the common people? How did this change in Middle-earth when suddenly everyone was in danger and had more pressing needs? What is it like being a re-embodied royal in a society that’s adapted to life without you? Suggested Character(s): Finwë, Indis, Maglor, Curufin, Caranthir, Gil-galad

Fashion as Political Statement: This is an excuse to request Color Coding Politics. Fëanorian red! Nolofinwëan blue! Findis wearing Aggressively Neutral White! Lalwen in orange? Arafinwë in yellow? Finwë in an amazing technicolor dream-coat...or more likely just red, showing his bias once more? Art of this would be absolutely fantastic. I have lots of headcanons about color politics; feel free to ask me about them if you choose this option. Suggested Character(s): Curufin, Caranthir, Gil-galad, Finwë

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The Silmarillion: Trauma & Religion

War of Wrath: For a war that took so long and had such wide-reaching repercussions, we really don’t have very many details about this. It’s free real estate, basically! I have my favorite characters (Maedhros, Maglor, Elrond, Elros, Gil-galad...) that you could use to explore this time period, but literally anyone who’s alive at this point is fair game. And OCs! What do the Noldor and Vanyar (and Telerin sailors) feel about the War and interacting with the war-weary exiles and Sindar and Men of late-stage Beleriand? What kind of culture shock/culture clash is there? Were re-embodied exiles permitted to return to Middle-earth, or were they barred from going to war again? Suggested Character(s): Original Noldorin Character, Original Vanyarin Character

Trauma after the War of Wrath for elves and humans & Exiles adjusting to life in the Undying Lands post War of Wrath & Dealing with psychological trauma in Valinor: Trauma was commonplace in Beleriand, but not so much in Valinor. What’s it like for exiles who sail West to be in a society that doesn’t know how to support them? Are the Valar having to learn how to deal with the trauma of living elves super quickly, or are they reticent to change? How do the exiles interact with their re-embodied kin? What do the Vanyar and other Amanyar think of these elves who have been so deeply hurt? What kinds of treatises on psychology are penned by scholars with little to no previous experience? What is therapy like in Valinor? Do the exiles get together for support groups since no one else understands them? Or did the trauma of the Darkening and the First Kinslaying wake up the Amanyar and get their act together before then; are the exiles surprised by the structures already in place to support them? And what about Avari who have been dying steadily all this time from accidents and incidents in Middle-earth? If they’ve been re-embodied, how do they engage with the Eldar who have similar traumas? Suggested Character(s): Estë, Finrod, Maeglin, Original Noldorin Character, Original Vanyarin Character, Rúmil, Any Avarin Elf Character(s)

Worship of the Valar and Religion & Avarin religious culture: Do the Vanyar really worship the Valar, or do they seem them as hyper-powerful neighbors? What are priests and priestesses like in a world where the gods walk among you? How does each kindred of the elves interact with the Valar? Are Maiar viewed as equal worshippers/servants or as deities in their own right? Do the Avari even know about or acknowledge the Valar? Do they worship the stars, or simply Eru? Suggested Character(s): Pengolodh, Rúmil, Any Avarin Elf Character(s)

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Middle-earth Legendarium: Magic & Spirits

Afterlives: This is pretty vague, but I think it’s referring to the various kinds of afterlife. What are the Halls of Mandos like? What happens to spirits who don’t go to Mandos? Do Men pass through Mandos on the way to Beyond? What happens to Men? Are they reincarnated in the more traditional understanding of the word, do they go to some other realm similar to Arda, are they just endlessly partying it up with Eru? Do dwarves really go to the Halls, or is that just a superstition? And of course, what about orcs? Suggested Character(s): Námo

Fate of orc souls after death: Yeah, really, what about orcs? If the orcs were originally elves twisted into Morgoth’s servants, are their spirits still elven? Are they reborn as they once were, elven despite their life as an orc? What about orcs who are many generations removed from their elvish ancestors? Do they have fëar? Can orcs be rehabilitated? I refuse to accept that all orcs are inherently evil; but what does everyone believe in-universe? Suggested Character(s): Námo, Original Orc Character(s)

Foresight and Prophecy and Doom: I’m honestly not sure if this fanon or canon, but Finarfin and his line having foresight through Indis is a wonderful concept and I’d love an exploration of that. How accurate is foresight? Can fate be circumvented? Are prophecies like the Doom of the Noldor self-fulfilling, or are they warnings about possible futures, or are they curses upon people? If you have a high Doom upon you, does that end with your death, or does it follow you to Mandos and beyond? Suggested Character(s): Námo, Finarfin

Songs and Words of Power: Rap battles with Sauron! ...joking aside, song as magic is just fascinating to me. How does this connect to the Ainulindalë and the Song of the World? The elves named themselves Quendi, the Speakers; how do they view the power of words and their ability to change the world around them? Can music be used as a force of destruction or a weapon (battle bard Maglor)? Can it be used to manipulate someone’s mind (Sauron)? Suggested Character(s): Maglor, Sauron

Stars and Starlight: “All light is sacred to the Eldar...but wood-elves love best the light of the stars.” Okay, sorry for being a Hobbit movie apologist on main, but I do love Tauriel! How do elves view starlight? Is it holy, or are the stars more like their friends and guides? Did the Avari choose to remain in Middle-earth partially because of their love for the stars, which were drowned out by the light of the Trees? How does Eärendil feel about being a star; does he feel blasphemous or holy? What legends and superstitions are there among Avari and Men and others who don’t know the origins of Gil-Estel about the new star in the sky? Suggested Character(s): Morwë, Eärendil

The Unseen Realm: This is the in-between world where Frodo goes when he wears the ring, the world that the Nazgûl in their half-life inhabit. Are Ainur able to slip into this realm at will? Did Gandalf walk invisible in Gondolin? How does Sauron manipulate this realm to his purposes? Is this where elves go if they fade? (I don’t usually like Maglor fading, but it could be an interesting way to explore this...) Suggested Character(s): Námo, Sauron, Nazgûl, Maglor

Magical Artefacts & Magical Communications: Palantíri! Galadriel’s mirror! Ósanwë! All sorts of cool ways to talk with magic. Do the Rings of Power enable long-distance ósanwë? Did the Silmarils contain pieces of Fëanor’s soul? What other marvelous magical creations were there that didn’t make it into the Legendarium we know? Suggested Character(s): Sauron, Maglor, Eärendil

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Middle-earth Legendarium: Politics & Lore

Feudalism between Eldar and Edain: We have Edain entering into the service of Noldorin lords (Bëor and Finrod, Hador and Fingolfin, Amlach and Maedhros) and land being given to Men by elves (or not, in Haleth’s case)...how far did this feudal relationship extend? Were the Edain mostly autonomous or were they very much bound to their elven lords? Were there common elves who paid tribute to Edain lords? Can any relationship between elves and Men truly be equal if this is the way they originated? Fealty kink? Suggested Character(s): Curufin, Original Elf Character

Fourth Age Tirion: What’s Tirion like with a bunch of dead people walking around living again, and a bunch of weird legends now imposing in daily life? What’s the first meeting of Rúmil and Pengolodh like—who geeks out over whom? Are the Fëanorians back yet? Is the average elf even really aware of all the nonsense that happened in Middle-earth, or are they extremely unimpressed with King So-and-So of a square of land that’s now underwater trying to cut them in line at the coffee shop? Suggested Character(s): Original Elf Character, Pengolodh, Rúmil of Tirion, Celebrimbor, Elrond, Galadriel

Relationship between Noldor and Dwarves: See “Dwarf-Elf relations in the First Age & Dwarf-kingdoms” in my Silm request for a starting point...but also, was Elrond’s Last Homely House open to dwarves? How did Galadriel come to respect the dwarves, especially after her Sindar kin grew to hate them? Suggested Character(s): Curufin, Celebrimbor, Elrond, Galadriel

Timekeeping between the Death of the Two Trees and the Rise of the Sun and Moon: Tolkien’s math drives me ABSOLUTELY INSANE. His timelines are contradictory, I get headaches just thinking about the length of elf pregnancy, what does aging mean for an immortal species, WHY ARE TREE YEARS LIKE THAT and WHAT IS A YÉN? Please try and make sense of this for me, I beg of thee. I’m especially interested in the time period between the Death of the Trees and the Rise of the Sun and Moon. Did the Noldor wander the Helcaraxë for 3 years or 30? How long was Maitimo in Angband? Did the Sindar even realize something was different? How did people start calculating Sun years? When was the calendar of the First Age adopted? Who did all this math? Is there an in-universe explanation for these contradictions? Do people fight over math? Do the Ainur experience time the same way the Children do? Did some Noldo genius come up with a timekeeping system that worked with the Moon, only for the Sun to come along and muck it up? Suggested Character(s): Pengolodh, Rúmil of Tirion, Original Elf Character, Fëanor - really any scholarly character, tbh!

Treatment of Angband's Escaped Thralls: Which kinds of escapees choose to go to Himring with Maedhros the Tall, and which choose to go to Gondolin and the House of the Hammer of Wrath? Was Rôg an escapee too? Can Maedhros really tell who’s been turned by the Enemy? Does Thingol have the right of it in turning away thralls from Doriath? (If he even does that, I’m now researching this and I’m not sure it’s actually canon...) What was it like for Maedhros and Gwindor to readjust to elven society? Did Elrond grow up surrounded by Fëanorian followers who escaped Angband, and is that where he learned healing? Suggested Character(s): Original Elf Character, Elrond

In-universe authorial bias in historical texts: All of the Legendarium is a history, which means there’s bound to be unreliable narrators. Was Maeglin really as evil as the story says? What gets left out of the narrative? What gets lost in translation? Who lives, who dies, who tells your story? Suggested Character(s): Pengolodh, Rúmil of Tirion

Trade in Middle-earth: What was trade like in First Age Beleriand? What about Second Age trade between Númenor and the mainland? Was Ost-in-Edhil a trade hub? After Sauron returned and traveling became dangerous, what intrepid traders braved the wilds for the sake of goods and money? How was currency developed around the world? Suggested Character(s): Curufin, Celebrimbor, Elrond, Galadriel

Orcs Surviving the Wars: Again, I don’t believe that all orcs are irredeemably, inherently evil. Were they persecuted and stamped out after the Ring War, or did some escape and adapt to a life without a harsh overlord? What’s orc agriculture like? Would Elrond take a chance on rehabilitating an orc in Rivendell? What if orcs were more complicated all along, and it’s the histories that simplified them to cardboard-cutout villains? Suggested Character(s): Original Elf Character, Pengolodh, Celebrimbor, Elrond, Galadriel

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The Adventure Zone: Balance

My only non-Tolkien request, oops. Don’t think I’m not as interested in this request, though; I’m the only one who nominated for it, so I picked my very favorite concepts and I’d love to see what you do with them!

Angus McDonald’s Grandfather: This guy’s name was lost to time, and he loves silverware, and he has a grandson, and that’s pretty much all we know about him. Was he involved in the Relic Wars somehow? Did his name get eaten by the Voidfish? I imagine he’s a rather eccentric fellow; how much of that did he pass on to Angus? Is he even real, or was Angus lying to Tres Horny Boys about his destination?

Any Wonderland Adventurer(s): I’d love to see what happens to the other people who go to Wonderland before our boys. Do they all die? How many get what they want and get out? Do any of them have weaker moral compasses than THB and agree to advertise for Edward and Lydia? What if Edward or Lydia fell in love with an adventurer and trapped them there? What kinds of things do people sacrifice to the Wheel? We know about the Escape Game and the Healing Game; what about the Recovery Game? How long has Wonderland been around? How has it evolved over time? What was it like before Edward and Lydia got ahold of the Animus Bell? How did they get ahold of it? (Personally I think Barry just gave it to them...but did he have to go through the trials first?)

Differences within species between the Two-Sunned World and Faerun: I love the fanon that Two-Sun elves are juuust a little different from Faerun elves...like Taako’s echolocation, for example. But what if this applies to the other species like gnomes and dwarves and even humans? How are the Seven Birds just a liiiitle off from everyone else around them? Also, Cat Elves. This is an excuse for Two-Sun Cat Elves. GIVE TAAKO A TAIL. (I mean, or not, do what you want, but I’d love to see that, lol.) Suggested Character(s): Any Member(s) of the IPRE, Original Character(s)

Reclaimers before Tres Horny Boys: Who were the other Reclaimers? Who did Lucretia trust to carry out this dangerous mission? How did they all each, inevitably fail? What if Magic Brian was a Reclaimer gone wrong? What was the last straw for Lucretia, the last failure that made her scheme to get her boys back? And the other Reclaimers weren’t officially disbanded right away; how did they feel about the new guys in town, and losing their jobs to these doofuses? Suggested Character(s): Lucretia, Original Character(s)

The Relic Wars: There were wars about the Relics!!! Wars!! That everyone forgot!! Wars where people that THB knew died!! And then we never get into this in canon! It drives me nuts! I would love to see an exploration of this chaotic time period, what the IPRE did to mitigate the damage, which relics were obvious and terrifying and which were secret and terrifying, etc... I’ve written a bit about Relic War-era Hurloane, but what were the other NPCs doing? (Or Hurley and Sloane too, I’d love to see your take on them too!) When Lucretia wiped everyone’s memories, what was lost? (I suspect Angus’ Grandfather got caught up in that...) How did those missing memories lead people to the Bureau of Balance? Suggested Character(s): Lucretia, Any Member(s) of the IPRE, Angus McDonald’s Grandfather

The Robot World's crystal post-Story and Song: The IPRE promised to return the Robot World’s crystal if they ever managed to defeat the Hunger...and we know they can plane hop from the casino liveshow...so, did they ever return the crystal? How did that go down? How does the Robot World rebuild itself? And if we’re going into it being the (K)nights Arc’s setting, are there other characters than Troth that we might recognize? Suggested Character(s): Magnus Burnsides, Lucretia, Any Member(s) of the IPRE

Worlds that survived the Hunger: In the worlds where the IPRE found the Light of Creation before the Hunger arrived, what was it like for the people there who had to endure the Hunger’s attack? What was the scope of the destruction? How did they rebuild afterward? Does uniting against a common enemy bring the people of the world together and create more Tesseralia-like societies? How many people knew about the IPRE, and what did they think about them? When they hear the Story and Song, what’s the reaction? If they didn’t know about the IPRE what myths do they create to explain the Hunger? Suggested Character(s): Lucretia, Original Character(s)

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Alright, that’s the end of my prompts/requests! Thanks for reading this far, and whatever you end up writing for me I am super excited to read it!! And if you have questions or ideas or something, my askbox is open and I have anon messages on, I’d love to talk! Thank you again for creating for me, you are the best! <3