#please don't smite me for this i just got here

[ima-super-natural]

I'm so disappointed I finally watched the "gay angel" show everyone had been telling me was "so queerbaity" since like 2015 only to find out the ship only exists because the only other male to ship the main character with would be incest and the characters themselves actually have no tension at all.

[anonymouscheeses]

Obvious shit I noticed part 3 (spoilers for welcome to heaven)

Look at her! "Teehee"

Also she's nervous! Foreshadowing omg 🤯

STICKERS! Two pride stickers and a cute donut. Gives me an idea to draw Chaggie at a donut shop while everything is burning down <3 (I'll probably do it but if any artist wants to as well go ahead!)

*CHOKES ON COFFEE* I LOVE THEM. I'M SORRY I GET SO GIDDY WHEN THEY HAVE EVEN THE SMALLEST INTERACTION BUT UGHHH I NEED MORE, IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH 🙏🙏

KISSY! MWA! *SCREAMS INTO THE VOID*

Vivzie give me more, moar now. MOAR

DAMN. SHE CAN THROW- or maybe it just exaggerates the perspective in this frame but still- ZAMNNN

Cherri x Sir Pentious fans RISE UP.

I wasn't ever really a fan of it myself but I always thought it was CUTE. Like 3 seconds before this part I was already begging for them to kiss 😭

More foreshadowing!

AAAAAA CREEPY BIRD THINGS!!!

Oh wait- Sera's hot and Emily's already adorable

If heaven don't look like what this is in the show, I DONT WANT IT! (THATS A JOKE PLEASE DON'T SMITE ME)

JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND VAGGIE!! Can I just say how much I love Vaggie's face expressions? Not just here but like all the time. She's just made to be so exaggerated, out of all of them I thought it would be Charlie who would have the most dramatic faces but Vaggie wins it for me. I JUST GIGGLE SO HARD WHEN SHE LOOKS LIKE THIS BAHAHAH

Okay yeah. It's very obvious now. Vaggie is definitely an ex-exterminator. They don't close in on Charlie here so it's made to subtly nudge the attention to Vaggie. HOW DID THEY IMMEDIATELY NOTICE IT WAS HER THO??

Hot-

That's it.

SHARE THAT MOTHUSSY GIRL-

YOU'RE TELLING ME SHE GREW OUT ALL OF THAT HAIR?!? YEAH ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE THEN BUT STILL AJJSJD.

But overall the design is pretty meh. I always loved the idea of short hair Vaggie and even have seen art of it but it's just yknow, alright. Reminds me of Cassandra from Tangled: the series. IM LISTENING TO ONE OF THE SONGS RIGHT NOW HELPPP

THIS SCENE HERE! WOOOOO! SO GLAD WE KNOW WHEN AND WHERE THEY FIRST MET!! Wish we got it extended tho. And also probably push it to next episode so it would have a better impact(atleast I think thats when they'll have the duet). BUT WHATEVER SOMETHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING! or uh whatever

Vaggie must've been a bit terrified at first. The only sinner she ever sent mercy to was a child. Then to see someone who to her is an adult sinner who just looks really human, that must be crazy. BUT THEN IF SHE WAS TOLD THAT CHARLIE WAS ACTUALLY THE PRINCESS OF HELL? HOOOO, LOCK IN AND STEAL HER. THAT'S SOME WATTPAD SHIT. Also, I wonder how long Charlie thought of redeeming sinners. It would make sense to be after meeting Vaggie, since it could have been a wake up call to the fact not all sinners are bad people. Even though Vaggie isn't a sinner technically, Charlie didn't know that at the time. But maybe Charlie was always like this but just needed to meet someone who could start her dream with her. Long rant uhhh

Haha penis 🫵

SCRAP WHATEVER I SAID IN THE FIRST PART. THEY PROBABLY DO FUCK- OR DONT?? I DONT KNOW- ANYWAY LESBIAN SEX (BOTTOM TEXT). WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH??? SOMEONE PULL THE TRIGGER.

Lute looks like a basic asf anime gorl. Adam doesn't ever take his helmet off, or maybe he just can't. OH HE'S DOING THE GAY SIGN 💅💅 Very appropriate for what he's saying

Mentor, apprentice. I love that Husk is just trying to help Angel grow but isn't going to force him into it if he doesn't want to.

Im not a fan of huskerdust and think they'd be better friends as I can't imagine a relationship with them at all. But it's still nice and they are supportive of eachother so that's like- yknow. Basic rules. Or something like that. (HELP. I ruined it all at the last part)

I- girl- WHY IS SHE GROWLING?? GRR GRR RR (INSERT TWILIGHT SAGA HERE)

VAGGIE'S FACE. SENDS ME. WHO GAVE HER THESE OVERDRAMATIC EXPRESSIONS, I APPLAUD YOU RGAGAGA

Ooo... I didnt like this part at all... Instead of making the choice she just runs off. Then because the plot demands it, Adam says nothing. Kinda whish she atleast avoided the question, maybe in some way that would require actual thinking? For a character like Vaggie, she could choose either way and it feel like it's still her. If she chose to protect Charlie's dream, she would still be perfectly loyal to her but in the act of so would reveal a secret that could harm their relationship(which does happen at the end but that's because the plot wanted it like that). If she chose to side with Adam, she'd be hurting Charlie emotionally, sure, but it would keep a secret that could make Charlie see Vaggie less than who she is to her already(atleast what Vaggie might think would happen). Imo it should've been her deciding to protect Charlie, since it would mean she's devoted to her at all times.

ANOTHER THING! IF SHE COULDN'T MAKE THE CHOICE, THAT IS SOMETHING INTERESTING TO GO INTO. Maybe it could go deeper into how Vaggie doesn't know who she is without Charlie. So when she has a choice to make, like here, she can't do it without feeling the need to ask Charlie. BUT NOOO, YA HAD TO GO WITH THIS!! Wow. That was a long ass rant. Wtf 😭

Maybe I'm a dumbass. Maybe they'll talk about that next episode, but still, atleast touch on it a bit to not seem rushed?

Angel looking out for his kids like a mom. We always did need the motherly figure, the one closest to that being Charlie but girl needs a mother in her life too(damn, wait, I did her so dirty).

Huh, so why does it work here then? 🤨🤨 if it was said in the contract that Valentino can do whatever he wants only in the studio, then why is this the exception? 🤨🤨

Yes I'm stupid. Why do you ask? (No genuinely what's happening here)

OH ITS THE IMAGE! I really like Sera so far, hope we get more of her soon or in season 2.

Now that we know the context of this, yeah, that's fucking insane. And badass. WOMEN.

HMM. THATS STRANGE. DID YOU NOT FOR ONCE THINK THERE COULD BE A POSSIBILITY SHE MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN ANGEL? Okay I probably wouldn't either but I have an excuse, I'm an idiot. Some girl with a standing out outfit, with one eye, looks unusually human, right after/during the extermination... that's pretty solid ass proof. But I'm dumb so don't take anything i say seriously :D

Imagine this. No- shit. Just-

JUST LOOK! THEY ARE SO CUTE! EVEN THOUGH CRAZY SHIT IS HAPPENING.

*SWEATS*

Vaggie is DESPERATE. PLEADING. That's obvious yeah, but don't mind me I had nothing to say for the last 3 images I just thought they were cool

I mean. Slay I guess. 😍💅

Do all the exterminators look similar or is it just Lute and Vaggie? 🤨

Even though Vaggie and Charlie may be going through this horrible thing with a hard punch in the gut, but Vaggie is always going to comfort her and I just think that's so adorable.

Also Adam looks like a chicken hah.

Everyone fears to be like Lucifer. If they don't do bad things they believe are for the greater good and make sacrifices that put them higher than those in hell, they could themselves be fallen. It's really interesting but I don't know if it's going to be fleshed out enough with the amount of episodes left. Which also worries me about everything else that still hasn't be concluded. There's gonna be loose strings I just know it. Hopefully though they rather do that then rush everything out y'know?

I want the next episode to be mostly focused on Vaggie and Charlie's relationship and the healing of what happened. Not for the entire episode of course, it would feel drawn out if it did, but atleast address the problem for the first like I would say 10 minutes? Then the rest would focus on one or two loose threads while also having Vaggie and Charlie acting upon moving on. That's just my idea but yeah-

[oceansprompts]

text message prompts

[text] You okay?

[text] GO TO BED!

[text] hey you better be alive in there

[text] SOS save me please holy shit

[text] call me this date is going so bad

[text] I have way too much shit to do.

[text] Honestly I'm really worried about you.

[text] Why are you trending on Twitter?

[text] Please let me come over and pet your (pet).

[text] We are in the same building, you could come talk to me.

[text] It's not going to work out.

[text] This is a terrible idea.

[text] people have fetishes

[text] They really do crucify anyone these days huh

[text] I don't know why but that really means me want to stab you

[text] That movie was awful.

[text] For the love of god please help me

[text] I fucked up. I fucked up really bad.

[text] I'm blocking you.

[text] YOU ONE BRAINCELLED BITCH

[text] I regret swiping right.

[text] Everyone lies on their dating profiles.

[text] That absolutely can't be an actual picture of you.

[text] This forced open my third eye and I saw the devil

[text] I'm like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride

-

[text] That's just all fucking sorts of fucked up

[text] Why are we here? To suffer? Every other day I get messages that cause pain

[text] In the department of old man fucking, we've got you beat.

[text] have you gotten any work done?

[text] I am beyond shame, try again

[text] You left your left your underwear at my place.

[text] Don't you dare put this on Facebook.

[text] My brother in Christ you're being haunted

[text] I want to wring you like a wet towel and slap you against a wall

[text] The mind is weak but the body is funky

[text] I'm a zombie the law can't stop me.

[text] Jealous of my massive honkers

[text] We left you to die to play minecraft

[text] She would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats

[text] I puked all over the Uber driver's backseat.

[text] I just took a screenshot of that and posted it to Reddit

[text] You said you'd be right back and it's been months.

[text] Can't we talk about this face to face?

[text] Yeah, you'll come learn I just have a thing for milk

[text] Why did you like one of my pics from 2014?

[text] Now's as good a time as any to exchange nudes.

[text] Why would you send me an eggplant emoji?

[text] I write five paragraphs, pouring my heart out, and all you reply with is k?!

[text] Who would dare to lie on the internet?

[text] When I die, please delete all my shit off the internet

[text] He's so hot, I briefly started texting like a straight person

[text] And because I'm god and I've decided that; no, in fact, I'm not done.

-

[text] I know you love bloopy reggae jams, now is not the time.

[text] You better not be standing catatonic in your room again.

[text] God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.

[text]: My neighbor just told me he can fix my water heater for 50 bucks. I’m skeptical.

[text]: Do you have any idea how much it costs to buy apples? I paid 10 dollars for 6.

[text]: I mean, I wouldn’t say I have a problem with buying Squishmallows..

[text]: Hey, so you know how you told me no dog? *sends pic* I don’t do well with no’s.

[text] Stuart Little is a bitch and Remy could take him any day.

[text]: My roommate just said that Lola Bunny is hot. I’m moving out.

[text]: Hey I posted that vid of you drunk, singing Ariana Grande, wearing all black and people said not to do it again. Sorry.

[text]: Do you think the price is ever right? Like, I feel like it’s not.

[text]: I booped your nose. Boop the last five people you texted or–nothing happens really.

[text]: I’m actually in the ER and it’s a long story that involves Best Day Ever from spongebob.

[text]: I fucking hate you–wait you’re not my ex. Who are you?

[text]: You ever ask yourself if birds see a bee and just go ‘wow a bee’? im high.

[text]: sometimes all i think about is–sour patch kids. bet you thought it was you.

[text]: I love you—not as much as I love my dog. But still a lot!

[text]: I found a cat on the way home and now it’s mine. But it hates my guts so this should be fun.

[text]: I have questions about the marvel cinematic universe…how long do you have?

[text]: why do donald duck and winnie the pooh not have to wear pants but other people do?

[text]: Hey you know that show floor is lava? I may have turned the apartment into that..this isn’t a joke, btw. the floor is sticky.

[text]: I bought too much soap off etsy and now I don’t know what to do with it…I smell like Captain America.

[text]: On a scale of one to ten, how many drinks would you need to sleep with me? This isn’t a tiktok trend…or it is.

[caesium-55]

—everything is orange. [ iii ]

pairing: lando norris x kpop idol! reader

summary: a racecar driver who needed a fake girlfriend to dispel rumors and a kpop idol who needed publicity for her song. somewhere in between orange cars and orange sunsets, stands something they're afraid of naming.

masterlist.

“Are you feeling better now?” Lando asks, concern marring his handsome features. True to his words, he comes by your hotel room after he finishes the qualifying race. You don't expect him to. The race ended quite late in the evening and you're sure he has to prepare for tomorrow but he's knocking on your door by quarter to twelve and you let him in. He’ll start tomorrow in fourth position, he told you. You acted pleasantly surprised at his revelation as if you didn't watch an illegal livestream of the race on your phone earlier.

“Yeah,” you nod.

He lets out a relieved sigh, hand coming up to his chest, “Oh thank fuck. I was worried.”

“By the way, thank you for driving me home last night. I didn't mean to fall asleep.”

“Did Jinnie tell you that?”

“No, it's in X. They saw you carrying me to your car.”

Your sleeping face on camera is going to haunt your dreams forever. The oily skin and your mouth hanging open. You don't sleep pretty. Knetizens like playing god, smiting everything not pretty, especially celebrities. You're not checking out Naver lately because you're scared of finding what's there.

“Were you doing something? I can leave if you're busy.”

“It's nothing important,” you wave your hand dismissively. “Just working on a song.”

Lando’s eyebrows rise to his hairline.

“You produce songs?”

You nod, humming.

“The reason I agreed to this PR stunt is to get publicity for my upcoming single,” you explain. You assume Lando already knows about it, the real reason why you're here. Despite that, you still tell him anyway. “Wanna hear it, boyfriend?”

“I didn't know you produce songs.”

“Well, now you know.”

He laughs at the dryness of your tone.

“Well, I’m glad you offered. I wouldn't mind listening.”

“It's all just basic melodies. Nothing concrete.”

You hand him a headphone.

“So you’re like KPop Charlie Puth?”

Lando takes the headphone.

“Please, I can't even compare to his producing skills.”

You press play on Demo_42.

You order hotel service food because he tells you he hasn't eaten and while you both finish the bowls of noodles, you converse with each other. Talking with Lando is easy, you find out. He knows how to keep the conversation alive and going despite the fact that you don't have much to say most of the time, that you frequently speak with finality. You praise him during the conversation once. He says he’s got practice from his teammate, who, like you, is a man of few words. He decides it is time to go back to his hotel at 2:50 AM.

“Thank you for today, boyfriend,” you say and if you sound too sincere, you like to think it’s because you’re a good actress.

A flustered laugh escapes his throat.

“I like the sound of that, girlfriend.”

A pause.

“I think I learned a lot about you today,” he scratches his nose and moves his hands as if he doesn't know what to do with them. “Thanks. For that.”

You wave your hand dismissively, as if to tell him that you don't need his thanks.

“Drive safe.”

“Good night, girlfriend.”

The WAG wardrobe of the day consisted of a Dsquared2 black suited jumpsuit and Versace crystal medusa ‘95 sandals of the same color. For accessories, you go with silver. Rings are your staple and earrings to pair. You don't wear a necklace.

When you reach for your racer jacket, a personal favorite that you think will absolutely be the highlight of your outfit with its white-red-black color combo, Jinnie stops you.

“Wear the McLaren one,” she orders, pointing at the McLaren jacket that sits on the couch. Orange. Bright. Easy to notice. It's almost as if it’s begging for attention.

You grimace.

“No.”

“[Name],” Jinnie’s voice holds warning. You ignore it. Obedience is not your strong suit.

“No.”

Despite your insistence, you end up leaving the racer jacket at the hotel and bringing the tacky McLaren one to the paddock. You secretly brought a black blazer and shove it inside your shoulder bag, which caused the bag to look like a Minecraft block. You pout childishly in the backseat of the car. You don't like orange.

“Stop pouting.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

You hear Jinnie sigh, exasperated.

“I can't with you sometimes.”

You ask Jinnie to drive by a coffee shop. You tell her what you wanted to get—an iced Americano with five shots of espresso and Lando’s coffee—and she leaves to buy it while you stay inside the car and patiently wait for her to return. She insisted on getting the coffee herself and you do not dare to complain. You like it this way anyway.

Jinnie, like the day of the FP1, drops you off at the same parking lot. You hop off the car.

“Text me when you need help. I’ll be nearby.”

You give her a thumbs up and Jinnie drives off.

It's night time but you pull a pair of sunglasses on, toss a ball cap over your head, and a face mask to cover the rest of your face. The McLaren jacket is tied around your shoulders. You don't want to wear it but Jinnie insists it has to be on your being. You're waiting for an opportunity to take it off, perhaps at the garage. You can strategically leave it on an empty chair or any flat surface and act like you have forgotten it.

You carry your phone in your right hand, your paddock pass and a paper zarf with two takeout coffees in the left. You send a quick message to Lando.

you: here

He replies not even three seconds later.

lando: coming

lando: same place?

you: okk heading there now

you: you reply fast

you: do you always hold your phone while in the garage?

lando: it's either i reply fast or i reply a week later take your pick

You let out an amused snort and lock your phone. You begin walking.

You freeze mid-step. The path you took on the day of the FP1 is filled with people. It's not supposed to be this crowded. This is a place far away from the stands and the track and the general admission area. It's also a good distance away from the team garages and the food stalls. It shouldn't be this crowded.

Your hands begin to tremble and become clammy. You lower your head, gaze fixing on the cement pathwalk. The people haven't noticed that it's you. At least, not yet. That's good. You can still leave and hide.

This is not what we planned, says your conscience. You're not a coward. Why are you running away like one?

I’m not a coward. If you say it as many times as you can, perhaps it will become the truth.

You turn around but begin to hesitate midway as you remember something.

Lando’s on his way. You can't leave now.

You swallow hard and turn back up front slowly. You let out a shaky breath and force your heart to become steady. You clench your hands into fists in an attempt to get them to start shaking.

They can't see my face, you assure yourself mentally.

Your hands, now fists, are still trembling.

I can do this.

You walk into the den of lions, not looking back even once. You take deep breaths underneath your mask. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth; it's not going well for you. The longer you perform the breathing exercises, the more you think you're going to end up with a public meltdown.

They're all looking at you.

You can feel their collective gazes.

“Is that her?” you hear someone murmur. Your shoulders turn tense but you keep walking.

“It’s her, right?”

“I don't think so. She could be just a random fan.”

“Wait, look at the jacket. It has Lando’s last name stitched at the hem.”

A loud gasp, “Is that his personal jacket?”

“That's her! That's [Name]!”

Someone snatches your cap. Your eyes widen. You hurriedly turn your head to the side. Your sunglasses fly off at the abrupt movement. Your panic intensifies and you feel the air in your lungs running away and your throat closing up. The same way the crowd closes up on you. None of them even grant you the mercy of leaving a tiny gap for you to escape through. You are but a sheep in a den of lions about to be slaughtered.

You see faces and the backs of phones all pointing at you. They're all screaming your name, excitement apparent in their loud voices. You don't understand any other word they're saying, only your name. The chanting of [Name], [Name], [Name]; the tone slowly shifts into eerie the longer you listen to it.

They hate you.

They hate you.

They hate you.

They always do.

If this exact situation you're in happened two years ago, before the scandal, you would have adored the attention. You know how to handle a crowd confidently, the best at it among all the members of ORACLE if you dare say so.

But now, the attention is just….

You want nothing more than to hide from it.

No matter how you try to convince yourself that you can handle it, that you can handle when everybody looks at you, you can’t. You try to control how your mind thinks but ultimately, it is your mind that controls your entire being.

Someone snatches the face mask off your face before you can stop them. Now, you feel too naked, too bare. You slap a hand over the lower half of your face, dropping the coffee cups and your paddock pass down on the ground. You hiss when the coffee burns your feet. A chorus of surprised yelps. A few curse words are thrown in the air. Because of the spilled coffee, the crowd parts. You see a space and you waste no time weaving yourself from the people to try and leave.

The gap disappears when a person blocks it and you halt in your steps, almost colliding with the person. Your chin snaps up and your eyes widen, terrified, when Kang Geon Ho’s familiar face smiles at you. Kang Geon Ho, the sun to your Icarus, the one responsible for your downfall.

“Smile, [Name].”

A camera lens appear. The camera clicks just as a hand comes up to block it. Before you know it, the camera is wrenched away from your face.

“Fuck off, mate. That's too close.”

You’ve never never been more relieved seeing Lando there again.

The crowd grows impossibly louder. You have to cover your ears with your hands so the sheer volume of everyone’s screams won't damage your eardrums. Your eyes met Lando’s worried ones. He's frowning, you notice. You see his mouth move. He's talking to you, but you're not hearing anything and you can't read his lips either. You figure he’s asking you if you want to leave with him so you nod, a little too eagerly.

You don't expect him to throw you over his shoulder and make a run for it, a surprised scream already making its way out of your throat as your hands grip his hair so you won't fall.

username: livetweeting from the paddock rn and i think i just witnessed smth bizarre. i think i just saw a driver (or was it a mechanic??? idk really) running with someone on their shoulder

username: is there a kidnapping going on inside the paddock??

username: girl it's lando and his girl

username: what 😭😭

Your chest rises and falls in quick breaths as you try to catch your breath. You're leaning against the wall, both hands pressing flat against the wall for support. Spots are invading your visions, not disappearing even after finally standing upright. The bright orange color of the walls isn’t helping you either. You think you're going to lose consciousness or vomit your brunch or both.

“I think she needs to sit down,” the brunette sweetheart says. She was already in the garage when Lando pulled up with you in tow, locking hands with the guy you recognized as Lando’s teammate. It's a no-brainer. She's another WAG like you.

“No thank you,” you say in between heavy breaths. You start coughing. Lando rubs your back in soothing circles. “I’m fine. Just… I’m anemic.”

You need to start fixing your sleep schedule at your earliest convenience. Need to start exercising, too. You're not even this unfit before.

“Lando, mate, come on,” Oscar berates. “Is your IQ a single digit number?”

“I was just trying to get her out, mate!” Lando defends himself.

Oscar’s girlfriend shakes her head at the two. She draws closer to you, taking your hand in hers and pulls you away from the busy part of the garage and towards the back.

“I think it's best if we move someone less crowded, hm?”

You hear Lando protesting but you don't bother glancing back at him as Oscar coaxes him.

The girl makes you sit down in a monoblock chair she found, hands you a battery-operated mini fan that she conjured from inside her tote bag, and takes the empty space beside you.

“Are you thirsty?” You shake your head.

“Just dizzy,” you sigh. “Thank you, uh….”

“It's Lily,” she smiles. Lily is such a perfect name for a girl as sweet as her. You dip your chin to a light bow.

“I’m [Name].”

You and Lily watch the race together. She is pleasant company. She only talks when she needs to, which makes you happy because you’re not a person who’s particularly fond of chit chat. You don't hide your confusion as you both spectate the races projected on the large screen; you don't know what's happening for half the race. Lily is kind enough to explain everything to you. You know, you can tell if someone is intelligent when they are able to dumb down complicated information and explain it to another person where the information is easily understandable. Lily is definitely an intelligent woman.

“You're so…” you try to find the right word. “... Knowledgeable at this. Like not just the race and rules but the engines and cars and—”

You move your hand and hope it conveys what you're trying to say.

Lily giggles, “I’m studying engineering so I understand how the cars work. Most of the time, at least.

Your mouth forms an O, amazed.

She’s the type of woman you’d bring home to meet your parents. Oscar, that lucky motherfucker. You turn your gaze back to the monitor.

“You?”

You chuckle nervously, “I-I didn't finish uni.”

“I’m not finished with university either,” Lily says and you appreciate the underlying message in her words—there’s nothing to be ashamed about if you didn't finish uni. But here's the difference between you and Lily. She's going to finish uni some day. You're never going to.

South Korea is known for their high standards in education and you once received backlash when you shared that you only finished a year and one semester in university before dropping out.

“Psychology,” you tell her. “One year and one sem.”

“Psychology is such an interesting program.”

“Yeah.” It's the only course that the scholarship program you applied to is willing to offer to you. You didn't choose it because you wanted to. You were so poor you don't even have the luxury of a choice. “Agreed.”

You continue watching.

“Oh that was smart of him,” you note. “The red one. He’s going to win.”

“Ferrari?”

“Yeah. The one in front of Lando,” you point out.

“I think Lando can overtake him. Or maybe one of the Mercedes since they got fresh tires while the first two are still using their old ones.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong but the red one slowed down slightly until Lando was one second behind him. Then, Lando activated the DRS—that’s called a DRS, right?” Lily nods in confirmation. “And then that, uh… buffered the DRS of the fast black car behind Lando. So with that, Lando is able to defend his place but since he’s busy defending his place, he can't overtake the red car at the front.”

Giving yourself an advantage in the guise of helping someone. You rub your fingertips together in thought.

“Only three laps left. He’s going to win. Lando will either come second or third.”

“You’re quick at this,” Lily compliments.

You shrug nonchalantly despite feeling suddenly shy on the inside at the praise, “I try.”

“They used to be teammates, by the way.”

“Who?”

“Carlos and Lando.”

“Oh.”

You turn out to be right. The red car—the Ferrari and its driver, Carlos Sainz—wins the Singapore Grand Prix. Lando is a close second. Everyone inside the garage screams in pure ecstasy when he crosses the finish line and the checkered flag waves above the livery. You and Lily stand to clap your hands, happy for Lando. Lily’s boyfriend finishes seventh and you clap your hands for her, happy for her and her boy.

“Let's go to the podium, boys!”

You and Lily sit back down on your chairs so you can watch the ceremony on the screen but a mechanic comes by, tugs your arm, and says, “Come on! Your boyfriend is on the podium!”

Your eyes widen and you glance back at Lily, who grins widely at you and waves her hand encouragingly. Go, she mouths. You gulp and bend your head low as you make your way out of the garage and into the open. You lost your cap, your face mask, and your sunglasses at the earlier incident so you feel too bare. You want to go back to the garage. The garage is safer.

But you know full well that the world will question your absence. Why wouldn't a WAG support her boyfriend on the podium? They’d doubt your relationship and that's the last thing you need to happen right now.

You purse your lips and follow the other McLaren mechanics, speed walking while they all jog. You watch the awarding at the front row, strategically standing near a tall McLaren aerodynamic engineer so you can hide behind him once you see a camera panning in your direction.

Lando shines on top. Even if he's only second, he shines as if he’s the race winner. You're proud of him. You’re not acting this time.

You slowly clap your hands and smile in a way a girlfriend does when his boyfriend does something incredible—lovingly and in awe. All the people in McLaren watch Lando with proud faces.

He’s loved, you realize. Very much so. By his entire team. He’s his team’s prince. That's why they worked so hard in protecting him to the point that they'll hire a fake girlfriend to kill the rumors that damaged his reputation. And when a team loves their prince, the prince shines.

You used to be like this, too. HAN Ent used to love you like this. Not anymore.

He meets your eyes and they look gray and you notice how they widen slightly as if he didn't expect you to be here. Then, he grins, lifting the bottle of champagne as if he’s trying to show it to you. You give him a thumbs up and laugh, covering your face as you do so.

You return to the garage after the ceremony and the fireworks display. You and Lily wait patiently together for your boyfriends—your fake boyfriend but boyfriend nonetheless; you’re unsure if Lily and Oscar and any other McLaren staff employee besides the PR team are aware of the nature of your relationship with Lando—to finish the formalities of a post-race. The podiums, the interviews, and whatnot.

When they enter the garage, Lily immediately goes straight to Oscar, who meets her halfway and engulfs her in a tight hug. Your heart softens.

You turn to Lando who stands closely behind Oscar. He's looking at Oscar and Lily before he trails his gaze to you. Shrugging his shoulders, he opens his arms. You raise a single questioning brow.

“Come on, girlfriend.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“You're sweaty.”

“You don't see Lily complaining that Oscar’s sweaty.”

Lando inches towards you. You take a cautious step back.

“Lando, no.”

A mischievous glint appears in his eyes. You prepare yourself to make a run for it.

“Lando, no. LANDO!”

He breaks out into a sprint. Naturally, you also make a run for it, not wanting to hug a very sweaty Lando.

You tire yourself quickly and your heels put you in a great disadvantage. Naturally, Lando catches in his arms in just a few minutes. You struggle against his arms at first then later, you resign to your fate despite not liking the feeling of sticky and damp skins. You're not the fittest person and Lando is a high-performance athlete; you fought a losing game.

“Oh, right,” Lando pulls away but still remains holding your wrists. “The team is planning to celebrate tonight. Do you want to come with me?”

With me, you note. Not with us but with me.

“Raincheck?” You're not sure if you’re using the right word in the right context. Hence, the questioning tone.

“Not a party girl, aren't you?”

You shake your head, “I prefer working in my hotel room anyway.”

“Oh right…. The song….”

“Mhm, the song.”

Lando glances at your surroundings. The mechanics are packing up everything now.

“I mean, I can miss the party.”

You raise a brow, confused.

“Why would you want to miss the party? You're second place today.”

Lando makes a weird noise that sounds like it's between an amused laugh and a disappointed groan, “Don't remind me. But yeah, I can miss it. Oscar already went with Lily anyway. I think it'll be suspicious if I spend the night partying instead of going with you, am I right, girlfriend?”

You roll your eyes, though not unkindly. He is right, you suppose.

“Besides, PR scheduled a hard launch today.”

Ah, dreadful hard launches. You need to make a new Instagram account just for Lando when you return to the hotel. It's a drag. You’ve never operated Instagram since 2021. You’ve kept burner accounts in Tiktok and X, formerly Twitter, but never Instagram. Not since the scandal.

“Okay."

Lando grins with glee.

“Come on, girlfriend.”

username1: IT’S CONFIRMED GUYS IT'S CONFIRMED

username2: AAAAAAHHHH F1TV HARDLAUNCHING THEIR RELATIONSHIP BEFORE ANY OF THEM CONFIRMS

username3: lando already did

username4: by accident 😭 does it even count as a hard launch

Lando snorts audibly from his place on the couch. You look up from your laptop and send him a confused look. You're inside your hotel room again, enjoying the silence while basking in each other's presence.

He shows you the tweet, making you cringe when you see your face on the screen.

“Did McLaren Racing tell them I was your partner?”

“I think so, yeah.”

You sigh.

“Well, it's nice to know they told everyone for us. At least, we don't have to do it ourselves.”

“Do I even need to hard launch you now?”

You shrug.

username5: lando wins p2 and girlie’s reaction was like:

username6: lmaooo why does she look so angry she be squinting at everything 😤 gurl never beating the bitchy allegations

username7: what kind of wag is this? she should just go back to south korea fr idk what lando sees in her

LandoNorris: Hi! To clarify, my girlfriend’s default face is angry but she's not angry, she's just confused. and she’s squinting because of astigmatism. She actually isn't sure what's happening because everything is so fast for her.

LandoNorris: And she's holding her bangs so it wouldn't fly away in the wind lol. She forgot to spray it this morning. Please don't misunderstand thanks.

username6: LANDO???

username8: lmao lando be suddenly remembering that he has a twt acc just to tell people not to badmouth his girl

username9: MORE LOWQUAL [NAME] SCREENSHOTS

username10: ugh she looks so annoying and fake fr

username11: get a life

Lando reports the hate tweet before he shows you your pictures.

“Your bangs are so thick. It's like you’re hiding a dozen secrets in there.”

You snort, “I might be.”

“What secrets?”

In the most serious, no nonsense tone you can muster, you say, “I killed my mother.”

Lando laughs.

username12: LANDO CAN YOU FIGHT BARK BARK

LandoNorris: 🤺🤺🤺

username13: i want lando’s girl 😭😭😭

LandoNorris: well too bad, she doesn't want you, she wants me

username14: LMAO CANT BELIEVE IM SEEING JEALOUS LANDO

username15: rip fuckboi lando, hello loyal and protective bf lando

LandoNorris: Well, cat’s out of the bag now 🤷

LandoNorris: But I'm still not very happy with what happened earlier before the race. Our relationship might be out now but it doesn't make it okay for all of you to gather around [Name] like what happened today. I sincerely ask everyone to respect us.

“Oh, that's a sick beat," Lando lifts his head.

“Sick?”

“I mean it's good. Good sick. Not like sick sick, fever sick.”

He’s saying the word “sick” a little too much.

“Woo, that wasn't very cool of me.”

“You're lucky I’m fake dating you even if you’re uncool.”

“Uh, rude?”

A phone ring interrupts you both. It's not yours.

Lando stands from the couch and walks away to answer the call on the balcony. You continue tweaking the bits. It still doesn't sound like it's worthy to be a single. This song has to be perfect. It doesn't have to be SOTY material, it just has to be the song. You have to make a mark to gain your relevance in the KPop industry back.

Lando comes back, his phone against his ear.

“Do you mind helping me out, baby?”

“What is it?” you ignore the way your heart wavers slightly because of the “baby.” It's not the word. You're used to hearing people call sweet pet names. It's just the way he utters it. You can't find a few accurate words to describe it. Affectionate? Soft? Real.

“My family kinda….wants to see you?” He pulls the phone away from his ear and covers the microphone of the gadget with his hand. He whispers: “They don't know we're fake dating and they just saw the race.”

“Oh,” you hurriedly fix yourself, straightening your hair and setting your laptop aside. Family wasn't in the list of the people allowed to know of the PR stunt. You're not surprised that Lando didn't tell them. However, you still didn't expect them to call their son over this. “Video call or…?”

“Video.”

You nod. You hurriedly smooth out the creases of your top.

“Do I look perfect now?”

“Beautiful.”

You give him a look. You won't accept anything less than perfect.

“You look okay, [Name].”

“I’m going to get my powder—”

Lando grabs your elbow, “No, you’re already beautiful. You don't need to reapply. Oh, look, hey Mum!”

Your eyes widen and you cover the lower half of your face with your palm as Lando moves the phone so the two of you can be seen on the screen. You shyly wave and his mother proceeds to scream. You jump slightly.

“Sorry, that was your sister.”

Lando laughs, shaking his head.

“You have a sister?” you whisper-ask.

“Yeah,” he holds up two fingers. “Two younger ones. They're Corales.”

Your eyes widen. Corale is the fandom of ORACLE. (You hate this name but that's what the company decided.)

“You're serious.”

“Dead serious,” Lando says. “That's why they called immediately. You're Cisca’s bias. Flo is OT7.”

You gape. You can't believe you're hearing this.

“I—”

Your surprise turns into horror. Lando's sisters are definitely aware of your scandal. As fans of ORACLE, they're certainly updated about it.

Shit.

“Let me talk to her. Let me talk to her. Oh my god, hiiiiii.”

You force yourself to smile and shyly wave at his sister. She squeals, excited.

“OH MY GOD, LANDO YOU FINALLY DID SOMETHING RIGHT IN YOUR LIFE.”

“Hey!” Lando barks. “Can you at least act like you respect me in front of my girlfriend please? Jeez, Cisca.”

“Let me see her—Oh my god, I will cry. Annyeong [Name]-unnie! Eotteohge jinaeseyo? Dangsin-eun neomu yeppeuda!”

You chuckle softly, “Hi, I’m doing well. Thank you for asking.”

“Your Korean is terrible.”

“Shut up, Kinder.”

“I think your Korean is wonderful. Lando is just being mean,” you say, making Lando gasp as if your words offended him. “I love your hair.”

She squeals again, delighted.

“She noticed my hair! Oh my god! I went to the salon today just to talk to you! Wait, you’re speaking English?”

“I can speak English, yes.”

You turn to Lando, “What’s her name again?”

“Cisca.”

“Cisca,” you repeat slowly, testing how it sounds from your tongue.

“She said my name!”

You chuckle.

“Kinder, you are never ever allowed to mess this up! If you break up with her, I'm going to break your legs."

Cisca gets shoved away and another girl replaces her on the screen. Ah, she must be Flo, you think. She and Cisca look alike.

“Hi [Name]!”

“Hi Flo.”

“Have I already told you I loved you?”

You're unsure how to respond, “Thank you?”

“That's enough,” Lando decides, moving the phone away. You hear a series of protests.

“No, no, that’s enough.”

“Don't gatekeep your girlfriend!”

Lando, like a brat, sticks his tongue out to the camera, “I will do whatever I want.”

“Is she going to be in Suzuka? I’m flying to Suzuka! I need to see her!”

“Bye Flo, bye Cisca, bye Mum. Tell Dad and Oliver I said hi.”

“Kinder!”

Lando playfully sticks out his tongue towards the phone and ends the call.

You can't help but feel relieved. You expected them to hate you. But they didn't. So you're grateful.

“That wasn't very nice. They still wanted to talk.”

“No. They just wanted to fangirl.”

You shake your head at him.

“By the way, you’re coming to Suzuka, right? With me?”

He said with me instead of with us again.

“When is that again?”

You can't remember dates very well.

“The 24th.”

“The FP1?”

“No, the FP1’s on the 22nd.”

You press your tongue against the inside of your cheek, “I have to go back to Seoul and talk to Yoon PD-nim.”

Further discussions about the whole agreement and situation has to be made. He sent you to Singapore only a day after accepting Yoon PD-nim's proposal. He didn't elaborate on the situation enough but has promised to explain after Singapore.

“I’ve never been to South Korea before.”

“You should come and visit then," you say, nonchalant.

“Okay, I’ll tell my manager I’m flying with you.”

You blink.

“Heh?”

Koreaboo: Former member of ORACLE, [Name] spotted today at Incheon International Airport with Formula One Racer boyfriend after the Singapore Grand Prix. Click the link to read more about this news.

koreabooo.com

“So you brought the boy along?”

“He brought himself.”

A heavy sigh goes past Yoon PD-nim’s lips. He lowers the paper in his hand to his desk. It's the revised contract with McLaren.

“What did they think about this?”

He’s referring to the contract.

“This isn't what was initially planned.”

“I know.”

“How did you get them to agree with your terms?”

Your terms, you note. His choice of words only remind you how alone you really are. The company is sending you as a soldier to a war you don't know how to navigate into and will do nothing to help you. They'll only wait for you to come back, either as a corpse or as a victor. If you return a corpse, they’ll dump you. Your contract is going to end in less than eleven months, it’ll be easy for them to do so. If you return a victor, they’ll reap all the benefits you sowed. You noticed a new McLaren in the parking lot today. Yoon PD-nim is already reaping benefits. If you're lucky, the only benefit you’ll get after this is a solo debut promotion and a contract extension.

“I did what I could."

You pushed a bluff and hoped it would go your way. Fortunately, it did go your way.

A proud smile appears on Yoon PD-nim's lips.

“I knew I was right in choosing you.”

He can never be so wrong.

A knock on the door ruins your concentration, causing you to draw a stray jagged line on the paper. You sigh, muttering a shibal beneath your breath. You do a quick glance on the time projected in your laptop—11:31 PM. You assume it’s Min Hee, a member of ORACLE who promised to come by earlier after her rehearsal for her solo in the upcoming MAMA Awards in November. It's still quite early to start practicing for the award show but Minhee always liked doing things in advance. When you open the door, your eyes widen.

It's not Minhee.

“Lando?”

[halemerry]

hii first of all, i absolutely love your metas on GO s2! your breakdown of the last few minutes of ep6 was really insightful and i love you for your meta about aziraphale and his role as a protector - it is a very astute look into his character and motivations which not a lot of people acknowledge in their theories/speculation after s2.

more to the point of this ask: this is something i've been mulling over and is the only thing that still doesn't make sense to me in ep6. why is crowley so nonchalant, or at least not noticeably worried, about the metatron showing up to the bookshop (a space he is very protective of) and taking aziraphala away for a talk after aziraphale has already been threatened by micheal? throughout the whole season crowley has been extremely protective over aziraphale and is very much aware of the real danger he is in (re: the book of life). this is also right after crowley has returned from heaven and has learned what the metatron was willing to do to gabriel to ensure 'institutional integrity' and that much bigger plans were afoot. i find it hard to wrap my head around his calm demeanor when the metatron enters the scene and takes aziraphale away, even if it's supposedly for a harmless talk. i wonder if you have any thoughts/speculation about this?

(opps this got too long and rambling). i would love to hear your thought but ofc please don't feel pressured to answer :) love your posts about the season and i look forward to reading more from you. have a lovely day!

Hi!! Thank you so much! This ask has had me by the throat basically since you sent it. It sort of touches on some things I already wanted to write about so forgive me if this spirals a bit.

So in a lot of ways I think this is a question that can have a one word answer. But since I do wanna talk about the way the show gives us this answer I actually want to start with Nina. Specifically I want to start with the thing she tells Crowley as Aziraphale’s off with the Metatron.

“You’re the hard bitten one that can’t trust anyone ever again and Mr. Wherever He Is is the soft one that still believes in magic people being basically good and all that."

I’ve talked a little bit about this line before in my meta about the build up to the Confession here because I think it’s important to view from the perspective of how it preps Crowley for the following conversation he’s about to have. But, aside from that, I think it's really important because it's wrong. Nina is describing herself here, not Crowley. She’s projecting her own issues onto him and Aziraphale in the way that she perceives herself relating to them. Crowley himself is actually the one that calls out her trust issues for what they are explicitly. 

Nina doesn’t trust and she sees herself in Crowley far more than Aziraphale both in demeanor and aesthetic so she assumes he doesn’t trust either. But she has it backwards. Because Crowley isn’t hard bitten as much as someone who tries very hard to be perceived as such. And, most importantly in this specific context, Crowley actually trusts quite a bit.

And he nearly always has. Even as far as back as the Starmaker.

Just look at the way that the Starmaker and Aziraphale both talk about interacting with God. Aziraphale is nervous, anxious and pretty much immediately clocks that what the angel that would become Crowley is saying is going to get him into trouble. But the Starmaker? Even upset about the information he’s been given, he remains confident in the fact that it can’t hurt to ask a few questions. He trusts there to be no consequence for expressing an objection. He trusts that his opinion is valued. Even if he ends up wrong here there’s no inclination at all that he thinks his words will be taken inappropriately. And even the Fall itself doesn’t burn this out of him.

We see him trust Aziraphale, the cherub who was supposed to be guarding Eden from things like him, not to smite him on sight. And trusts him enough to not only have a conversation but express his own worries about his own actions. He then approaches Aziraphale like a friend at the Flood and makes no attempt to censor his horror at what is happening there.

Job is the first time we see Crowley act in a way that implies mistrust between them. This is the first time they’ve met since the Flood which I suspect is contributing to his reluctance to be honest with Aziraphale here. They fall into their roles and then very rapidly fall out of them. The fact Azriaphale reaches out to Crowley here is important. As is the moment where Crowley asks Aziraphale if he’s sure. After Aziraphale more or less agrees to be all in something changes. Crowley is surprisingly honest about his view on the world, mostly trusting Aziraphale not to use it against him. He places himself in front of a host of angels, trusting that Aziraphale would not expose him. And then later he’s even more honest, admitting to Aziraphale he’s lonely in an attempt to show solidarity.

The entire Arrangement could not exist without them trusting each other. Crowley’s pushing at Aziraphale’s boundaries is a constant exercise in trusting that Aziraphale will come around eventually - or that he at the very least isn’t about to weaponize the treacherous things Crowley is saying against him. As early as 1601 we see Aziraphale voicing active concern for Crowley's well being. We then see Crowley actively trust Aziraphale with both their safeties in 1941 - whether it’s trusting Azriaphale to save them from the bomb about to drop on them or trusting Aziraphale’s trust in him to not accidentally discorporate him during the bullet catch. They even explicitly talk about their mutual trust in this year during their shades of gray conversation.

During Armageddon Crowley shows up trusting that Aziraphale will help him fix this and once Aziraphale agrees never once seems to consider the idea that Aziraphale would hide anything from him (even when Aziraphale is actively doing so).

He also critically knows that Aziraphale tried to reach God and got himself discorporated as a consequence. And likely specifically knows that Aziraphale talked to the Metatron and came away from that conversation realizing that Heaven would not help him. It's worth noting whether Crowley knows this bit or not that in this conversation Aziraphale not only explicitly questions the Metatron's authority but also uses the conversation to extract information from the Metatron.

Aziraphale leaves this conversation with an active lie to the Metatron and attempts to call Crowley to tell him everything he knew. He then continually chooses Crowley over Heaven. They pick their own side and help stop the world from ending.

And then, all season, Aziraphale keeps proving that the trust Crowley has always had in him is well earned. Aziraphale, even more than Crowley himself, brings up ideas of 'us' and 'our side' and 'our car'.

Aziraphale openly talks negatively of Heaven. Not only does he agree with Crowley's disbelief that Heaven managed to stay in charge sending people like Muriel down, but he even goes a step further, implying that they perhaps never had control over earth in that way.

He also, most critically, immediately and without hesitation, tries to turn down the Metatron's offer to even have a conversation. Aziraphale, who has also just brought a group of archangels to order, reaffirms his lack of interest in Heaven right then and there in front of Crowley. Right when the Metatron has reaffirmed the threat of the Book of Life is out of play.

Crowley trusts Aziraphale. He always has. And more than ever lately Aziraphale has given him proof that he doesn't have to worry about where he allegiances lay.

But. It's also worth noting. I don't think Crowley is as chill as he maybe seems like he is. Yes, he's sprawled out and speaking casually here, but to some degree this is a bit of posturing. He's playing it cool and also not encroaching on the control Aziraphale has managed to wrangle on this situation. But he also doesn't just let them wander off either. As soon as they hit the door, Crowley is out of the chair and walking to the front of the shop to watch them leave through the window. He's keeping tabs as they walk away.

He then banishes Muriel and promptly starts to clean. Now I'm always a little wary to mix Book and Show canon, but I do think his cleaning of the bookshop (as well as him carrying around stacks of books while babysitting Jim) are manifestations of Book!Crowley's tendency to want to stress clean. He's keeping himself busy and gets done too quickly then promptly glances at his watch before throwing himself into the chair with a frustrated noise. He's anxious and stressed the entire time Aziraphale is out of his line of sight.

In other words, Crowley's not actually as calm as he's presenting himself to be. He's trying to take that nervous energy out in a way that doesn't conflict with giving Aziraphale agency. Because he trusts his angel. And that in part is why it hits him so hard when it all blows up in his face.

[foggylikemyvision]

Dear Archons

If your reading this, then your probably wondering where I went for the past few weeks...

Well let me tell you!

I've been visiting a world filled with talking cookies! I know it sounds crazy but here's I picture to prove it

*Insert picture of them with the cookies in the kingdom*

I know you must be thinking that I abandoned you guys but I didn't, it's just that the cookies needed me here to help

And don't worry I'll be back soon :)

With love,

Creator/Baker

Ps: The cookies call me "Baker" here

Divine Creator,

At the start of this letter, I'll have you know that I, Ei, am writing this. That insolent bard is trying to write in his immature, overly casual ways and Morax is busy holding him off.

Firstly, why are you in a world of talking cookies? What is the purpose? I get that you are there to help them, but we need you here!

Secondly, can you bring back some sweets from there? It's made of sugary sweets, after all, their confections must be amazing.

Thirdly, how did you get there, exactly? We haven't let you out of our sight since the whole 'imposter' situation blew over.

Either way, I hope you're safe there, wherever you are. Come back soon, alright? We're missing you here. I'll be handing this off to Morax, now.

Much love,

The Guardian of Eternity

Electro Archon

Baal

Beelzebub.

Raiden Shogun

Raiden Ei

Divine Creator,

I hope you've gotten this letter safely. Currently, Baal and Barbatos are bickering and I worry that Baal is going to smite him. There isn't much to ask, Baal already got that across in her section of this letter, I feel. Personally, I hope that the beings in that realm are treating you well.

Overall, I share the same sentiment as Baal. Please, stay safe.

Best wishes,

Morax

Zhongli

Consultant of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor

Rex Lapis

Your grace,

Whew! Those two buffoons wouldn't let me write to you! They were about to send the letter without even letting me get a word in! Annoying as always, huh? Ei has too many names, I just realized.

Get some sweets back to me! Visit soon! Sorry this is short, they're ripping the le tter away f r om me!!!

Love ya!

Venti the Bard

Divine Overseer,

I hope all is well for you, your grace. There isn't much for me to say that the others haven't already said in their letters themselves. Please don't do anything too reckless.

Celestia knows that happened enough a few months ago, in all honesty.

Come back soon,

Nahida

[sarahowritesostucky]

📖"Cupids, Valkyries, Heralds, & Seraphim"

Rated: Teen

Pairing: Steve x Bucky

Tags: wing fic, angel Steve, veterinarian Bucky, supernatural, hurt/comfort, humor, meet-cute

Summary: Apparently there are all sorts of angels, and Bucky has been saddled with Steve: a terminally incompetent Cupid.

(Oh wait, I should probably go read Part 1 first)

Bucky stood there, arms crossed and blank-faced, staring, for maybe a full five seconds. “God smited you,” he repeated slowly. “... By throwing shrapnel in your wing?”

Steve sighed. “No. The shrapnel was from the fall. God just hit me with lightning.”

“'Just' some lightening?" Steve glared a little bit at Bucky from where he still sat—thankfully no longer naked, as Bucky had located some scrub pants—on the clinic’s exam table. "And yet somehow that didn’t hurt you?” Bucky checked.

“I told you: normally I can’t get hurt.” 

“Riiight. Because you’re immortal.”

“Because I exist on another metaphysical plane, yes. And God took me off of that plane and put me onto yours as a punishment. Temporarily,” he added after a moment. “I hope.”

Bucky squinted. “Uh huh.”

Steve, bless him, actually seemed rather embarrassed about what had happened, because apparently it was like a work mistake or something for the guy.

“I was out on a job,” he explained. “I missed my mark. Hit the wrong guy.”

Hit? “Your ‘mark’,” Bucky repeated. “What are you, some kind of angelic hitman or something?”

Steve’s lips twisted. “I mean, you could say that. I’m a Cupid.”

“A what now?”

“A Cupid. It’s a—”

“Yeah I think I know," Bucky cut him off. “So, what? You missed your mark and God got angry and, and smote you? … Er, smited you … smote you?”

"Yeah." Steve stared glumly down at his lap, as if God smiting him was the equivalent of him getting a bad performance review on his employee evaluation or something. "It was an easy job, okay? I got distracted when I shouldn't have, wound up impaling the wrong person."

"'Impaling'? Don’t you mean ‘shooting’?" Bucky's eyebrow rose. "As in people, with arrows?”

“Bolts,” Steve corrected. “I impale people with bolts."

"Yeah, that sounds way less violent."

"Well they don't feel it," he defended. "I told you: I operate on another metaphysical plane.”

“Riiight.”

His shoulders slumped in defeat. “It doesn't matter if you believe me or not," he mourned. "Doesn't change anything. I'm still stuck here. I still missed the shot. Still impaled the wrong guy—”

“Could we maybe stop saying ‘impaled’?”

“—And now he's going to fall in love with somebody he wasn't meant to be with. Don’t you see?”

Bucky shrugged. "You must mess up all the time then, ‘cause I hate to tell you this, pal, but that's very common." Steve glared at him and Bucky shrugged. "I mean, have you seen the divorce rate?" 

"Well that's not my fault," Steve argued. "It's not like I'm the only one."

"The only what?"

"Cupid!" Steve exclaimed. "There's tons of us."

"Oh." Bucky nodded after a beat, because what was the benefit in arguing, at this point? "Okay. I didn't know that. So ... God's pissed at you and he threw you down here?"

"Yeah," Steve grumbled. "He put me on your plane of existence as punishment. So now I can get hurt—obviously. And people can see me."

Bucky's eyes widened. “Oh, shit.” He’d been taking out the trash when Steve had suddenly crash-landed in the alleyway out back. It was currently the middle of the night and the clinic was closed (thank God—or wait: no, this was God’s fault!), but so far Bucky hadn’t thought very far past which color Coban the angel wanted his wing bandaged with (he’d chosen the roll of hot pink with purple pawprint pattern on it). He certainly hadn’t considered what he was going to do with the guy after this. "Did anybody else see you?" he asked worriedly.

“No,” Steve said, his cheeks flushing. He looked back over his shoulder at the bend of his bandaged wing. “I need to hide out somewhere. People can’t see me.” He turned his big, stupid-pretty blue eyes on Bucky. “Will you help me? Please?”

"What am I supposed to do with you?” Bucky complained. “I can't exactly conceal those."

Oh God, the clinic would be opening in a few hours. Steve couldn’t still be here when Yelena and Peter showed up for work! Bucky ran his hand through his hair in stress, looking over Steve’s very conspicuous form sitting on the metal exam table. Aside from the friggin’ twelve foot wingspan issue, Steve was also a big guy in general: very blond and perfect and half-naked and eye-catching. Bucky would’ve given him a scrub top to wear along with the pants, but: wings.

"How long until God unsmites you?" he asked. “Like a day, a week, a year?”—Oh God, please, please don't let it be a year.

Steve shrugged, then winced when the motion made pain flare in his injured wing. "I don’t know yet. I'm waiting on a Herald."

"A what now?"

"A Herald: Another type of angel."

Bucky squinted. "Wait, how many types are there?"

Bucky brought his car into the alley and made Steve throw a blanket over his shoulders to cover up most of his wings. He told him to lie down in the back seat, drove them back to his apartment building, and anxiously hustled him upstairs. 

Steve said they should be getting a visit from one of God’s messengers soon, and to just sit tight. Bucky resigned himself to a night of no sleep and put on a pot of coffee. He showed the half-naked angel on his couch how to use Netflix.

Only there was no relaxing. Certainly not for Bucky. He was getting increasingly antsy when, after another two hours, the mysterious “Herald” still hadn’t arrived. He made sure that Steve knew he couldn’t just live on his couch watching Bridgerton indefinitely: “I can’t just keep you here, Steve. My lease has a forty pound pet limit!”

Steve suggested that they make their way up to the roof, which Bucky fiercely argued against but lost the battle over anyways. The city was still mostly asleep, but Steve kept the blanket draped around his shoulders and his wings tucked in demurely—or as demurely as he could—so that if they did run into anybody, it wouldn’t be outside the realm of explainable, why Bucky was sneaking around with this oddly-shaped, half-clothed, smokin’ hot blond guy. 

Steve went over to the building’s edge, watching the minimal activity of the night time streets. Bucky stood beside him and asked about the Herald again, and thus began Steve’s very long-winded explanation of how there were four main types of angels, with each type serving its own purpose. 

Cupids were exactly what Bucky thought they were, 

Heralds served as God’s messengers and harbingers, 

Valkyries served as warriors,

and Seraphim, as far as Bucky could tell, were the closest thing to actual “angels” like most people thought of them.

Steve clearly wasn’t under celestial a gag order of any type, because he was all too happy to tell Bucky all sorts of stuff. He talked about God like he didn’t know the guy very well, but also made it clear that God did not tolerate “stupid” mistakes from his servants—which apparently Steve's mistake was. God had certainly told him so to his face, just before smiting him right out of the sky with a bolt of lightning. 

Bucky winced as he thought about that, looking out on the city with Steve at his side. “So … God’s kind of a dick, huh?” 

Steve laughed. “Eh, sometimes. Not always though. I mean I did mess up pretty bad. It’s embarrassing. And now at least a couple of other people are going to have to get shot too, wind up with different romantic futures than they otherwise would have, just to get everything back into the right order again.” He sighed. “It was an avoidable mess.”

“Well why’d you miss?”

“What?”

“The shot.” Bucky looked over to find Steve looking at him. “Earlier, you said you’d gotten distracted from the shot. What distracted you?”

Steve’s lips parted and his cheeks began to turn pink. He started stuttering over an explanation, but before he could eke out any real response, a loud whooshing and clatter came from the roof behind them.

Bucky spun around—his eyes the size of dinner plates, probably—and immediately clutched his chest at what he saw. “Shit!”

Standing only a few yards away, was a massive, gleaming white horse. … with wings. Riding it was what Bucky could only assume was another angel. 

“The fuck,” he exhaled, all the adrenaline leaving him at once as he realized that they hadn’t just been caught by other apartment dwellers come up to the roof for a smoke or something. The woman hopped off the horse and walked over to Steve like this was a totally normal occurrence. Bucky glared at her. “Christ. Do ya think the people on the floor below might’ve heard that?!” 

Given that she’d arrived on a flying horse, Bucky felt pretty safe in assuming that this newcomer was also an angel; though she didn’t have wings like Steve did, and she wasn’t naked like he’d been. In fact she seemed to be wearing a bunch of badass looking white armor.

“Steve!”

“Brunn, hey! What are you doing here?”

“Checking in on your dumb ass, of course. That’s him, isn’t it? God, you’re so predictable.”

They greeted each other as friends, with smiles and ribbing and big, back-clapping hugs, so Bucky figured he was safe to turn away to go and block the roof’s access door with an old chair that was sitting nearby. Once he’d done that, he walked back over—making sure to leave a wide berth between himself and the unnaturally large horse. 

The horsewoman looked Bucky up and down when he got over there, her mouth ticking up faintly at the corners. “You must be James ‘my-friends-call-me-Bucky’ Barnes.”

Bucky blinked. He wasn’t caffeinated enough for this. “Uh huh.” He looked over at Steve. “Is she the Herald?”

The woman snickered and Steve explained that no, she was one of the Valkyrie-types of angels. The warrior types. Okay, Bucky thought. The armor made more sense, then. As did the swords and daggers he was noticing on her person, now. Damn.

“I heard through the grapevine that Saint Steven had fallen,” the Valkyrie was saying. “I volunteered myself for messenger duty, just so I could pop down here and take the piss out of my favorite fallen angel.”

“Aw, you shouldn’t have."

“You’re fallen?” Bucky blurted, alarmed. “A fallen angel?"

“It’s not as serious as it sounds,” Steve muttered, embarrassed, and Valkyrie continued to tease him about what a clutz he was and how he had a ‘penchant for pretty boys’, whatever that meant.

“Let’s see the damage then, Stupid-Cupid,” she said, trying to get at the blanket to yank it off from Steve’s shoulders.  Steve danced around trying to prevent it,

“Stoppit! I’m not that hurt. It’s nothing.”

But eventually Valkyrie won. “If it’s nothing then you can let me see it.” Steve squirmed self-consciously as the blanket fell and she peered at his bandaged wing. “What happened?” she asked. “Bad landing?"

“Yeah. Some shrapnel from a junk pile I fell into,” Steve said, shrugging sheepishly when the other angel raised a brow at his bright pink, purple pawprint bandaging. “Um, Bucky’s a veterinarian.”

Valkyrie pursed her lips and nodded. “Well, he was gonna need you sooner or later," she said to Bucky, surprising him. "Thanks for looking after him."

“Oh, um, you’re welcome.”

“So what’s the word?” Steve asked. "Has he told you? Did he say how long I'm banished for?”

'Banished?' Bucky mouthed

“Negligible," Valkyrie said. "Just a month."

Steve gave a big sigh of relief at the very same time that Bucky yelped out, “A month?!”

Valkyrie snorted. “Oh trust me, that’s hardly even a slap on the wrist. You fuck up bad enough, sometimes you’ll get a decade or more. A month is nothing.”

Bucky’s eyes bugged out at that. A month wasn’t nothing! A month was a month!—Well, at least it wasn’t “a decade or more.” Yikes. Still, Bucky protested, “Hey, I have a job, you know. A life. I can’t just put that on hold to babysit an angel. And–and I live in the middle of New York City. There’s like nine million people here!” He gestured wildly at Steve’s hulking, winged mass standing only feet away. “How the hell am I supposed to keep this hidden for a month? He’s got a twelve foot wingspan!”

"Fourteen," Steve muttered petulantly.

Valkyrie rolled her eyes. “It doesn't matter. 'Cause God smited him and cast him down, not anything else. Why do you think he was butt-ass naked when he showed up?"

Bucky frowned, looking back at Steve in confusion. "What?"

"His wings," Valkyrie clarified. "They're of Heaven. They don’t exist on this plane. Just like my armor doesn't, or like Icarus back there. doesn't.” She nodded at the horse. “Humans don't perceive those things. It’ll be fine.”

Steve glanced down at his own naked torso. “Ah … might need to to get some shirts, though.”

“Well I hate to break it to you, Angel Lady, but I can see all of those things.” Behind Valkyrie, the very large and visible horse scraped its hoof impatiently against the rooftop. “Yeah,” Bucky said. “Definitely see ‘em.”

Valkyrie walked back to her horse and mounted it in one, graceful leap. “You can see them,” she corrected. “Because you’re the human he’s tied to. You're still perceiving his true form. But everybody else on this plane just sees his fallen form."  

“What? 'Tied to'?" Bucky frowned. "What are you talking about?"

She ignored him and looked back to Steve. “Toodeloo, Butterfingers. Have fun with that.”

In a very unangelic way, Steve flipped her the bird as she kicked the horse into motion. It spread its wings with a great 'whoosh' and beat them up and down: once, twice, three times as it ran across the roof. It went airborne, and in seconds they were gone.

Bucky watched them flying, shrinking further and further away. He felt Steve approach at his side, and they stood there together in fraught silence, until finally the Valkyrie was indistinguishable from any other flickering star in the night sky.

“Okay, buster,” Bucky said. “Spill. What the fuck was she talking about, you’re ‘tied’ to me?”

Masterlist

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Square E5: Valkyrie (character)

[chahaa-piun-ja]

AU where Duryodhan shows up when Indra is asking for Karna's kavach and kundal to punch Indra in the face

Over on the IMQ discord @warriorbookworm had the germ of this idea and then it ran away with me. Putting the rest of the fic under the cut. This follows the kavach kundal daan scene in star plus mahabharat (2013).

Arjun looked from a bloodied, smug Karna to his father in horror. "What have you done, Devaraj? Now the whole world will say that Arjun lost to Karna only because you took away his armour. You have not just weakened my enemy, you have weakened me."

Indra looked aghast. Before he could reply, they were interrupted by something coming towards them at an incredible speed.

THWACK!

Arjun and Karna both gaped in horror as Duryodhan appeared as if from nowhere, and straight up punched the King of the Gods in his face. Indra rocked back on the balls of his feet. For a few glorious seconds he was too shocked to react.

"Bhrata Duryodhan...." Arjun could only mutter in horror. Surely, Indra would unleash his Vajra and smite Duryodhan into a puddle now.

"Mitra!" Karna shouted, his face losing that smug look for the first time since Arjun got here. Arjun couldn't help but feel a sense of vicious glee at that, quickly drowned out by a mounting feeling of dread. "What have you done?!" Karna tried to walk towards Duryodhan, but staggered and stumbled in the process. The loss of blood seemed to be getting to him now. Duryodhan turned just in time to catch him before he fell.

Indra had recovered from his shock and began to glow, humming with power. "Foolish mortal! How dare you interrupt me, the King of the Gods, and punch me in my face? Do you want to taste the power of my Vajra, and gain a hasty entry to the land of Yama?"

Duryodhan rounded on Indra. "You ask me this, Devaraj? How dare you come here only to rob my friend of his divine gifts, sneaking behind everyone's backs to benefit your cowardly son over there?" The poisonous glare he shot at Arjun was the worst one he'd seen from his cousin, ever worse than the one at the Mayasabha. Unfortunately, this time Arjun felt that he had a point.

"Mitra, calm down!" Karna interrupted, resting a bloody hand on his friend's chest. "Nobody is being robbed. Surya Dev came in my dreams yesterday, to warn me that this would happen. I chose this, Mitra. I wanted the glory of being the only man who could offer charity to the king of the gods themselves."

"For the sake of glory, you would throw away your life and my hopes of victory in this war? I will not have it." fumed Duryodhan. "Devaraj! I ask you to return my friend's armour and earrings to him, at this instant." His voice did not leave its imperiousness, even while addressing the King of the Gods. Arjun was increasingly feeling like the spectator of a very bizarre play.

Indra started, "I cannot do that-" only to be interrupted by Karna. "Mitra, don't dishonour me and my vow in this way. Do you have so little faith in my skill with the bow? Armour or no armour, I will kill Arjun and bring victory to you." Neither of them spared a glance at Arjun or Indra.

Indra cleared his throat. "I acknowledge that I have indeed taken a great boon from your friend today. In return, I offer him this - my Vasavi Shakti. It will kill any one person you choose, but it will return to me once used."

"I can't accept that-" Karna began to retort, only to be cut off by Duryodhan. "Accept it, Mitra! It doesn't impact your charity when a God gives you a boon of his own volition." And though Arjun wasn't pleased at his own father giving his mortal enemy an unbeatable weapon that could be used to kill him, he had to accept that it was more than a fair trade for getting rid of Karna's divine armour.

Karna seemed to acquiesce to his friend's request too, and bowed his head respectfully as Indra blessed him. That, or he was too weakened by the blood loss to argue further. Before Indra could depart, Duryodhan interrupted him again. "If I could ask you for a boon too, Devaraj Indra! Please heal my friend and make his skin whole. I cannot bear to see him in so much pain."

Indra hesitated, torn between granting the wish of an impudent asshole like Duryodhan and doing the right thing. Arjun felt like he had to speak up. "Please heal him. Devaraj. I have taken an oath that he will die by my arrow, and I won't be able to fulfill my oath if he dies right now from blood loss and infection."

Both Karna and Duryodhan turned to glare at him, seemingly only remembering now that Arjun too was listening to their conversation. Arjun glared back, unperturbed. Indra seemed to accede to his son's request, if not Duryodhan's - he raised his hand in blessing, and Karna's skin knit back together. His body has lost the glow it had due to the armour, and his earlobes were bare and broken, having lost his earrings, but at least he wasn't bleeding out anymore. All three of them bowed respectfully as Indra departed in a shower of gold sparks.

Arjun heaved a sigh of relief and turned to leave. He was interrupted by a shout from Karna. "Arjun! Armour or no armour, I will defeat you with your father's own weapon!" Arjun turned around to reply in kind, only to see his cousin and his mortal enemy walking away over the sand dunes.

[rose-n-gunses]

HI. 1, 4, and 10 for hellcheer please <3

HI. sorry this took so long lol (and I got carried away so I'll put these under a cut -- number one got really long)

1 - Describe their first date.

Okay so I think maybe Chrissy would be the one to ask Eddie out first because even though he really wanted to he had kind of resigned himself to the 'what would a girl like her do with a guy like me' way of thinking. So she asks him out and says that since she made the move he can plan the date.

He really wants to Do It Right so maybe he asks Wayne for advice and Wayne (who hasn't been on a date since 1973) is like Boy I don't know. So Eddie is like Well Fuck and smokes a joint. Eventually he decides to go the safe route and take her to dinner. They dress up cute and go to dinner, he picks her up and pays for her meal, of course.

Afterwards, he's driving her home and he's so nervous he can feel his heart in his throat because he wants to kiss her so bad but he doesn't want to fuck everything up and jesus christ why did he wear so much cologne it's fucking suffocating--

He rolls the windows down a little bit for some air and Chrissy rolls hers all the way down and her hair is blowing in the wind and she's relaxed and she's beautiful, GOD!

He stops at a red light at an intersection and Chrissy opens her eyes. "Turn here," she says.

"What."

"Just turn here!"

So he does, because may God smite him into a pile of dust and teeth if he EVER says no to Chrissy Cunningham.

She gives directions and he follows them and when he stops and looks around he barely has time to process that the van is parked in the lot of the Hawkins Public Swimming Pool before Chrissy is getting out of the car and sneaking towards the fence like she's the Pink Panther.

He follows her and once he makes it to the fence she's already swinging her leg over the top of it and hopping down onto the other side.

Fucking cheerleaders, man.

She waves him on with this mischievous little grin so he grabs the fence and hoists himself over it, nearly breaking an ankle in the process. When he turns around (Christ, she's fast) Chrissy has already kicked off her shoes and dropped her sweater on top of them. She's standing right on the edge of the pool with her back to the water, heels hanging over the ledge. She doesn't say anything but smiles so big and holds her arms out to the side and falls backwards into the water with a loud splash.

Eddie lets out a surprised shout but then Chrissy resurfaces and she's still smiling and her mascara is running and she's even more beautiful than before. She swims over to the edge and rests her chin on her arms. "Come on, Eddie!"

Why can't he breathe? He strips off his jacket and shirt and shoes and digs his wallet out to leave with them and then backs up a few places. He gets a running start and launches himself into the pool, dousing Chrissy again as she shrieks with laughter.

She pushes off the wall and swims over to him, her dress floating out around her, and he catches her around the waist. She pushes his hair out of his eyes and he shakes it back like a dog and she laughs again and she's so beautiful and he tells her so this time and grins when she blushes. He was afraid before but he's not now and he thinks he might die if he doesn't so he asks, "Can I kiss you?"

She smiles even bigger and nods before leaning in.

He meets her in the middle and he's always scoffed when people talk about feeling fireworks or electricity but he must be caught in a goddamn lightning storm because all of his nerve endings are on fire and he could sink to the bottom of the pool and live there forever because why would he need oxygen when he's being kissed by Chrissy fucking Cunningham, y'know?

When they break apart, he feels like his chest is going to explode so he pulls her in again and smacks loud, obnoxious kisses all over her face and neck until she's laughing so hard she can't breathe and is pushing him away.

He lets go of her and kicks his legs up to float on his back, hand tangled in hers. He's looking up at the stars and the water is in his ears and tickling the sides of his face and Chrissy sinks down into the water until just her eyes and up are above the surface and she's slowly moving towards him like a little pink alligator and just as he turns his head to say something she opens her mouth and bites his bare shoulder.

He flails a little and chases after her as she swims away, and they carry on laughing and splashing and kissing until it's late enough that she has to go home. He has a hell of a time climbing back over the fence in his wet jeans, but he does it and waddles back to the van. When he takes her home he kisses her in the driveway because he can do that now, and watches her disappear through her front door.

He drives home with the windows down and a grin on his face and when he's lying in bed later and takes off his watch, he realizes he hadn't removed it before their impromptu swim earlier. It's frozen at the time he cannon-balled into the water (aka the best moment of his entire life).

He makes a mental note to get a new watch, but he thinks he'll keep this one, too.

4 - Who initiates affection? Why does the other not initiate affection as much?

I think both of them are extremely touch starved and looooove affection but in my heart Chrissy is the main initiator.

To me, I think her mother would be very unemotional and not affectionate at all, so Chrissy just never bothered to try in the first place. With Eddie, though, she feels safe and knows he's always willing to reciprocate so she has no problem asking for what she wants, whether it's hand holding or kisses or hugs or cuddles or sex or whatever.

Eddie I think is equally touch starved but more, like. Afraid about it at first? Or not afraid, that's not the right word, but okay like he's a sweet emotional guy. Maybe when he was a kid he'd try to hug his dad and just get yelled at instead. Stuff like that. So he's internalized that and is more reserved and doesn't want to risk that type of rejection, especially from Chrissy. He lets her initiate everything and then once she does he's so into it. Eventually I think she would have to sit him down and talk about it and after that he would be able to start overcoming that mindset and then he's all over her all the time and they both love it.

10 - Do they share any hobbies or interests? How do these things bring them together?

Okay honestly to me hellcheer are big parallel play-ers!! If they're not cuddling they're just doing their own thing together. I also think that they would have like. Adjacent hobbies but not exactly the same.

They're readers, both of 'em. Different genres maybe, but they both use it as an escape from the stresses of daily life. Maybe they'll just sit together and read silently, but I also think they would read to each other. Like maybe every night before bed they take turns reading a chapter of their book out loud to the other. Eddie likes this especially because he loves getting to see the kind of stuff Chrissy is into since she sometimes struggles to express herself and her interests outwardly. Chrissy loves it when Eddie does the voices.

Also crafting. Eddie is the kind of guy that would sit and meticulously paint his minis for D&D, or maybe he draws. Chrissy'll sit and embroider or paint or sketch next to him while he does that.

(They're codependent quality time kiddos)

Here's the link for the ask list in case anyone still wants to!

[monstrousproductions]

I would listen to a audio drama about "your boy jonah" but also, tell me about your boy! Here is a free space to ramble. Please info-dump.

Free space to ramble?! Don't mind if I do!

So, in case anyone is unfamiliar with the story of Jonah, it begins with Jonah minding his business and suddenly being called upon by God to go to Ninevah [the capital city of the Assyrian empire] to call them out for their sins. Instead, Jonah seals his place in my heart by running away from God.

I just find it so immediately endearing that his reaction to being given a divinely ordained job to do is to absolutely nope the fuck out and run for the hills. It's not just hilarious, but it also feels so honest? Like yeah sometimes we know rightly what we're supposed to do, either because of the leading of the spirit or because of our own morals, and sometimes it's fucking terrifying!!

So he runs away, he gets on a boat to sail off to Far Off Lands (poss. southern Turkey) and obviously... God knows. Because it's God. You can't just duck behind a tree and suddenly God forgets you're there lol And God is big mad and sends a storm that threatens to break the ship into matchsticks. The sailors are terrified - I imagine them as these hardened sea-faring men who are used to all sorts of things, and this storm is so fierce they're absolutely terrified.

And Jonah... is fast asleep. Conked the fuck out on one of the lower decks, like he isn't moments from being smithereened. Running away from God is a tiring business, I guess! Also, as a chronic procastinapper, I can't help feeling like he just felt like he had too much on his plate and decided napping is way less scary that That Whole Mess.

So the captain drags him up and demands that he pray to his god because clearly the gods of the sailors are not paying attention lol But they also want to know where the storm came from and why, so they draw lots to see who's to blame? And of course Jonah draws the short straw.

And then this bit I imagine Jonah being super sheepish about OK. Because in this era and place, it was quite normal to accept that other people's gods were real and powerful, but they just weren't your gods. But different gods have different areas of power, so the sailors ask Jonah who his god is. And very grudgingly, Jonah admits that ummm yeah ok so actually his god is... the one who created the sea and the land.

And I imagine there's this moment of absolute silence as these sailors take in the fact that this guy has pissed his god off and who's his god again? Oh yeah, only the one who MADE THE OCEAN which is currently trying to KILL THEM.

"So they picked up Jonah and hurled him into the sea."

But Jonah doesn't drown! God sends a fish to swallow him up, and he sits in the fish for three days and prays while he's in there, because actually all things considered it was pretty neat of God to send a fish to swallow him instead of letting him drown and he's like "I think maybe I have got close enough to death and I would like to stop having an adventure now and go back to being all the way alive."

Which is very cool having his time in the fish being this sort of pseudo-death? Like he was getting a little taste of it. And he even talks about it as being in Sheol, and being out of sight of God and longing to be alive and back where God can see him.

So God tells the fish to vomit him up and tells Jonah again to go to Ninevah, which this time he does! It's a huge city, it takes three days to walk across it, but Jonah made a promise and he sticks to it. He walks and talks and the city repents and God relents from whatever punishment he was going to send.

Which, in a turn that never fails to touch my heart, makes Jonah... absolutely fucking livid. He is so mad about this decision. He's like, "I fucking knew it!! I knew you weren't going to smite these fuckers!" and God is like ??? excuuuuse me ???

And Jonah - I love him so much - he storms off, he stomps out of Ninevah and builds himself a little hu and he sits in his hut and he stares at the city, wishing hellfire and damnation on everyone in it, and sulking like nobody on earth. He is raging and I love it.

But it's the fucking Assyrian desert, it's hot as balls and even in his wee hut, Jonah's got the sun beating down on him. And God makes this plant grow next to him for shade, which Jonah is pretty pleased about - until the next morning, God sends a worm that attacks the plant and kills it. And also throws in some scorching winds and fiery sun for good measure.

And Jonah's lying there about to pass out and he's like, "I would literally rather be fucking dead" and then we get my favourite exchange in the whole Bible:

But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?”

“It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.”

I just love it!! He's having none of it! He is furious and he is feeling more righteous and miserable than any angsty teenager ever could and he's telling God straight out, "You have pissed me off like nobody has ever pissed anyone off before" and I love him so much!!

And God points out that he's that angry about the plant dying, which he didn't even grow or tend to, but somehow it's not fair for God to not be particularly keen on destroying an entire megatropolis full of people and animals who by the way God is responsible for and cares for? Double standards much? And the book ends! It's made its point and off it fucks.

Also there's a bit at the end there where it describes the thousands and thousands of people in Ninevah as "not knowing which is their left hand and which is their right" which I assume is a metaphor for not knowing right from wrong but which I also just love as such a read. Like, "Really? You expect me not to look after these people? Look at them. They're morons, Jonah. They're the kind of morons who would think, oh, I don't know, that they could hide from God in a boat."

I just love how angry Jonah is, and how afraid, and how human! And I love that he has this sassy back and forth with God and that he gets angry at God and argues and has to get put in a fish for a time out. It feels like such a close, bickering sort of relationship and I think the world would be a better place if more people felt like they could look God in the eye and say, "YES! I AM ANGRY!! I AM SO ANGRY I COULD DIE!!!"

[xerxeswitch]

My Unpopular Opinion about 'Deities' (mini vent:)

I strongly believe not all "gods" are healthy, infinite, benevolent, selfless, flawless, or all powerful who deserve special treatment just because of a human constructed status.

I treat anyone accordingly upon how they treat me, and you don't get respect unless you respect my space.

...

This is coming from someone who respects Anubis as a 'person' I connected with because he was respectful and mindful, and we just got along.

That being said, I don't believe in worship or even the concept of a "god" but just the status of celebrities.

From the ask box here and in metaphysical groups, I had too many people insisting to me that I should just bow down to them just because they're "gods." If I don't agree with them, a few tried to send these "gods" to smite me because I'm a non-believer.

You believing in a deity doesn't automatically make you better or special than other witches whom might be secular.

It makes me roll my eyes when I hear, "Gods are gods! You don't get to talk about them that way!"

The way I work, I need to get up and personal and not greet them ONLY because they're "gods/goddesses. But as people I just get along with.

I can understand some 'deities' are important in certain cultures that built it in the first place, but I just then see it as that -- culture/religion. Since I don't believe in the concept a 'god/goddess' I don't have to believe in their 'god/goddess', but I can still acknowledge what they got for it as strictly their culture.

...

I'm glad you adore what you do, and keep doing it if it gives you meaning and happiness. I respect what you're into at a healthy balance, as long as you respect mine. Please, everyone is different.

You wouldn't be any better as a proclaimed, radical Christian tried to shame you for not submitting to the Lord.

...

--

Edit:

I received a couple of threats just from this post alone in my ask box.

(One said she'll send Aphrodite to give me nightmares and sickness, while the other got really upset and threatened me with actual violence to change my mind)

If you are representing your "gods/goddesses" through how you're acting like a derelict -- I'm glad you have so much faith in your 'gods' to protect you, but nothing will shield you from the consequences of being an intolerant, toxic person. I'm sure they'll step aside and let things slip...unless the "god/goddess" is toxic themselves.

[c6jpg]

dainsleif quest

the lore drops. fucking impeccable. but also i feel edged the fuck on. like we learned a liiiiiiiitle but also get 10 thousand unanswered questions as well

that's pretty standard for dainsleif quests though ig

the quest itself. can we even call that a quest it was so anticlimatic ajkdfladjsf like just content-wise i think that genuinely might have been our worst dainsleif quest the lore was CARRYING this shit and all we got was more questions and it felt SO short

as an aside its also criminal how long apart these quests are bc i honestly already kinda forgot what happened in the previous one (caribert) and i had to like. really use my brain to remember the lore we got then

DAINSLEIF BROTHER????????????

just in general like. my mind was exploding when we were talking about the five sinners of khaenri'ah. i want to learn more about them so bad

"i'll tell you all you want to know" YOU'RE NOT TELLING US ENOUGH DAINSLEIF ELABORATE

WE DESERVED A PROPER DAINSLEIF VS ABYSS TWIN ANIMATED FIGHT CUTSCENE. HOW DARE YOU JUST FADE TO BLACK ARE YOU KIDDINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

ngl when we first saw caribert i actually thought this might be dainsleif's brother and i was like NOOOOOOOOOO THEY CAN'T NPC DAIN'S BRO

i just KNOWWW his brother is gonna be so sexy whenever they reveal him. sorry i had to say it. anyways.

caribert man... his whole deal honestly felt like a sidequest within the quest but that was sad :(

not to be a #scarastan but i was just thinking so hard about the parallels between caribert and scara, implanting vs removing oneself from the memories of the world. both doing it to bring comfort to others, even if futile. i'm not smart enough to expand on this but i'm sure yall know what i mean

anyways okay. so the loom of fate can weave ley lines, that name makes sense now. now can literally anybody please explain what the fuck yall want to do with it

honestly the twin reunion scene felt kinda. idk. flat? like i was more hyped about the abyss twin vs dainsleif part kadjlsflds (speaking of which the way dain clenched his fist lmaooooooo i was just thinking of that one arthur meme)

i do love the detail that the twins call each other by their canon names though

was kind of 🙄 when we got hit with the "yeah btw you won't remember any of this once we're out of here." okay plot convenience

actually is it even plot convenience? like literally what harm would there have been of the traveler remembering???? what are they gonna do???? the only actionable thing of substance we learned was that the loom of fate was completed which dainsleif should have figured out anyways since he got the eye taken from him????????

actually i think it was great that dainsleif got bamboozled though. dude has been carried by plot armor for too long

sea of flowers mention interesting (i have no thoughts on this just interesting esp since i'm pretty sure that's the place shown in the teyvat trailer)

so basically confirmed the heavenly principles are asleep/inactive for some reason. idr if it was explicitly mentioned before. i actually DID wonder why we didn't get some celestia nail action smiting after all the shit that happened in fontaine, a lot of people thought that was gonna happen too with the whole celestia is floating right over fontaine

and then we wake up and the quest just ends??? LET ME TALK TO DAIN HELLO

also like. why did dain want to confront the abyss twin again??? maybe it was mentioned in an earlier quest and if so i forgot but either way i don't understand wtf dain was up to by luring the abyss twin out

no literally that felt like half a quest

objectively i think that quest kinda sucked but i will forgive it solely because of the lore drops no matter how tiny they were and bc i did really like caribert's story

[k-slla]

The road so far

Chapter 1

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader

WARNINGS : Injures, blood, language (if I missed any, I'm sorry)

A/N: This will be a multiple part story, so if you enjoy and would like to be tagged, comment here or send me an ask/message :)

Also, any feedback is appreciated!

Reader's POV

"Y/N, relax, I'll get you back to the bunker as fast as I can an." Dean tried to calm me. I'd gotten hurt again. It was supposed to be a quick in and out for the four of us.

Now Sam and Garth were finishing the job. Just a small vamp nest, they said. You'll be ready, Y/N, we have a plan, they said. By the end of the evening I was cornered by two vamps and one of them managed to stab me with my own blade before Dean ganked them. "Sam! I need to get Y/N back to bunker. Cas can't find us here and she's losing quite a lot of blood. Can you two manage here?"

Now here I was, on back seat of the Baby, trying so hard to not to break down. I searched for Dean's eyes in the rearview mirror. "I'm sorry, Dean. I thought I had them on my own. That I didn't need help. I need to..." He looked at me with almost angry look. His look softened immediatly when our eyes met. "Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. Please just try to stay awake, alright? You'll be fine. We'll talk at home, okay? Just a little bit longer. Cas will heal you." I sighed. He didn't even believe his own words. "You don't know that, Dean." I whispered. "He didn't even have his mojo last time we saw him." I slumped on the seat.

"I'm ruining you car, D." He looked at me with amusement. "Seriously? That's what you're worrying about right now?" he laughed. "You know she's seen worse."

I almost didn't even feel pain anymore. I'd gotten so numb already when he pulled to the garage.

"CASTIEL!" Dean yelled and slowly pulled me out of car. Angel was beside us in a second. "She got hurt. Please help her!" Dean begged. No strength was left in him. Both men kneeled next to me. Cas put his hand to my stomach and tried to heal me. I only felt burning sensation in my abdomen which pulled animalistic shriek out of me.

"No! No! Please, stop! It's worse!" I wheezed. I was on the verge of passing out.

"I can't heal her this way. I'm sorry, Dean, I think I'm only hurting her." Cas finally said.

"Can you get her to the library table? I have to try suture the wound myself."

"Wait, Dean. There is one other option that could work."

Dean looked at Cas. "Care to elaborate?" he finally snapped.

"If Y/N gives me permission, I can possess her. That way I can use some stolen grace I have for emergencies. It should heal up me and any vessel I use." Dean looked skeptical. "You carry around stolen grace "for emergencies"? Did you have to smite an angel for that? And are you even sure if it'll work?" he questioned.

"Well..Yes,yes and no. But it's the only option right now and killing the angels was in self-defense so I see nothing wrong with that, too. I just need to know if Y/N is willing to try that. I can't promise anything." he looked at me softly.

"Yes, we can try that. I've got nothing to lose. You have my permission." I whispered.

Castiel put his hand on my cheek and I felt immense force crashing through me. And then suddenly it stopped. I saw everything around me but I wasn't in control of my own body anymore. Jimmy's unconscious body was next to me.

"Dean. Give me the grace. It's around my neck. Well..Around Jimmy's neck. You know what I mean." I heard myself talk. It felt eerie.

Dean reached out and took out a little ampoule containing the grace.

"Damnit, Cas, this better work." He gruffed. Unbearable cold took over my body as soon as Cas consumed the grace.

Last thing I remember is feeling the angel leave my body and passing out from exhaustion.

I slowly opened my eyes. Brain couldn't yet register where I was but as I saw Dean next to me, I felt calm.

I took in my surroundings. I was with Dean in the bunker. I was safe.

"Hey, Y/N. Take it easy. Try to sleep a bit more, okay? I'm not going anywhere." he whispered softly.

I laughed wryly. "You look like shit, D. Couldn't Cas heal you?"

"Uh..no. He couldn't. He basically went all in for you. But don't worry about me. Just some cuts and bruises. Nothing major. Seriously now, Y/N, try to sleep. Sam and Garth aren't even back yet, so even just long as they come home, okay?"

"Fine, dad." I mumbled quietly and again fell asleep.

I woke up next morning rested and almost like myself. I went to the kitchen for breakfast and boys were already sitting at the table. Quite possibly researching next case for us.

"Morning, guys!" I smiled at them. I poured myself a big cup of coffee and sat down next to them. "So, what's next for us? Shapeshifters? Djinns? Wraiths?" They shared a look.

"How you're feeling today, Y/N? You took a serious beating yesterday. With the stabbing and angel possession and whatnot. Wouldn't you like some time off?" Sam questioned.

"What? No. I'm fine. Ready for the next challenge." I grinned widely. I got up to make myself a sandwich.

"Y/N, please, just hear us out, okay?" Dean pleaded. "Take some time off. Just for a week. We don't want to see you get hurt again."

I've always known how to shut myself off during confrontations. I just didn't have backbone to stand up for myself. This time I wasn't going to stay quiet. I slammed the knife down on the table and took a deep breath.

"Let me just ask this, Sam. If Dean would've gotten hurt yesterday. Hell, he did get hurt. Would you convince him to take a break for a while?" I turned to look at Sam and felt nerves bubbling.

"Of course I would! But Dean didn't get stabbed last night. You did, Y/N." he countered. "Okay, fair point. But either way Dean would never stand down from a hunt. Both of you know that. Why do you have the need to bench me right now? Cas healed me. I'm fine. Seriously. No need to walk on eggshells around me." I angrily turned around and finished quickly making my sandwich. I left the kitchen to go and eat in peace in my room.

Few days after that hunt I was cleaning my room when I heard soft knock on my door. I had managed to ignore them so far but I guess I had to talk to them sooner or later. "Hey, it's Dean. You awake?" I tried to be quiet but then dropped a picture frame on the table. "Damn it!" I muttered.

"Can I please come in? I want to talk to you." he asked. "Yes, you can come in." I sighed and sat on my bed.

He sat in front of me on the bed. "Listen, I don't want to argue with you. I know you're more stubborn than me so it wouldn't be very smart of me." He took a deep breath and looked into my eyes. " I just need to say that we... I can't bear the toughts of losing you. Ever. I just can't. For the love of God, why didn't you call for us the other night. You know that it could've ended very badly for you. " His voice was quiet and quivering as he spoke.

"I know that, Dean. I get it. But you were all fighting there for your life. There were more vamps than we all originally thought and I was confident that I coud take on just two of them. Dean. Listen to me." I took his hands and looked into his beautiful green eyes. I sighed.

"I know what I got myself into when I decided to stay with you boys. Hunter's life definitely isn't all fun and games. We get hurt, or some of us die. But that's life. I've made my peace with it." He cut me off. "Y/N, you're not even 30 yet. How can you say you've made your peace with dying when you haven't even lived a life yet? You should have a white picket fence and an apple pie dream life, y'know." I started laughing. He got very confused. "Dean. Just don't. Please don't start teaching me how to live my life, when you won't do the same. Can you please leave me alone now?" I said quietly.

"Fine." He stood up. "But I am not letting you come to the hunt today. Got it?"

Dean's POV

I left her room and leaned against the door. God, you're such a pussy, Dean, what stopped you telling her this time? I thought.

I heard muffled scream through the door but thought it would be better not to interfere again.

"So, just like at Glenwood Springs, this wraith has developed taste for crazy brains. This is a all night drive from here. Any ideas how to approach it?" Sam asked whe I entered the library. "How's Y/N by the way? Seemed okay?"

"Yeah, I mean, on the surface at least. Wouldn't really talk about it. What's up with the wraiths hunting in the psychiatric hospitals? Do they get high on meds or something?" I sat down at the laptop looking over the victim cases. Youngest was 28, like Y/N. That's sad. "So, should we get admitted to the hospital or the FBI scheme again? Or we go halfsies? " I said and smiled at Sam.

Halfway on the road, I pulled car over to the side of the road. "Dude, you up to drive? My eyes are tired, man." Sam looked at me like he's seen a ghost. "Yeah, I can drive. Are you okay, Dean? You took a decent hit to the head the other day. You might have a concussion." he asked worriedly. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just tired." I said and tried to stifle a yawn.

He started the car again as I made myself comfortable in the passenger seat. We were driving for some time when he broke the silence. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"You can, but it depends if I'm going to answer." I said sleepily. "Will you tell Y/N about your feelings for her?"

What did he just say? "Uuhhh, what, I have no feelings for her. And even if I did, then a) it wouldn't be any of your business and b) no I wouldn't tell her because there wouldn't be a point in it, because in this line of the work, we don't get happy endings." He sighed loudly. "Dean, don't think I'm blind. I see how you look at her. Would it really be that bad to even try to get a happy ending?"

I started to get slowly angry. "Sam, drop it, okay. Yes, it would be bad to try because 99% of the people I care about, have died, or gotten hurt or possessed. You are just exception that proves the rule, even though you've died too on multiple occasions. I can't risk it, okay?"

Rest of the drive I tried to sleep. It wasn't easy, considering the thoughts of Y/N were occupying my head. Of course I had feelings for her, how couldn't I? She was the most beautiful, brilliant and stubborn woman I've laid my eyes on. I just can't give my enemies the leverage of using her against me. And she probably doesn't reciprocate anyways so why even try.

"So, Bobby will meet us at the hospital, to get me admitted, so I could get more of a inside scoop. You and Jody will handle the FBI part. Sounds good?" "Sounds like a plan." Sam said as he pulled into town.

Sam dropped me of at the corner of the hospital, where I was going to meet with Bobby. I was getting nervous, which was very new for me. I was just going to talk about out life. Just mentioning the drama with Lucifer, Michael and the Apocalypse should get me a permanent spot in padded cell. Seeing Bobby pull up in his Chevelle, I raised my hand to wave at him.

"Hey, son! You ready to pour your heart out?" he laughed. "Sure am, Bobby. Sure am." I smiled as he got out of car.

The first few days went really really slowly in the hospital. Sneaking around at night wasn't really easy with the guards every where. Not being able to contact with Sam or anyone else didn't help also.

Finally almost week later I saw the wraith in the mirror, so I knew exactly who to follow. Only thing for me left to do was to somehow let Sam know who it was before it was too late.

@cevansbaby-dove

[rollforjackass]

okay so i reread the good omens script book trying to look up a quote i remembered and i kept writing down the things that i absolutely loved about it, so here's just a list of all the quotes and moments that rewired my brain chemistry

aziraphale sasses the hell out of crowley about his antichrist birth organization skills

aziraphale saying “oh sugar” instead of oh shit...

first appearance of everyday by buddy holly, we all know how that turned out

aziraphale doesn’t know how an ansaphone works. this was in the book too, but it’s still funny, especially considering how in radio omens he at least knows about caller id

aziraphale brought shortbread for the drive to the convent. did he think it was a date? please say yes

crowley asked aziraphale if heaven wouldn’t give him (crowley) asylum and aziraphale was going to ask him the same about hell

aziraphale says “what the hell” after pointedly not swearing earlier. hypocrite ass

aziraphale is fine with killing the antichrist himself but gets upset about the humans killing each other at tadfield manor....more tasty hypocrisy. he thinks he can only ever do the Right Thing but he knows it's Wrong when anyone else does it

“aziraphale is rather enjoying having the upper hand in the ideas department for once”

crowley says “dude. chill.”

“for a moment his noble better nature rejects the idea out of hand. THEN HE FALLS...”

“aziraphale is softening. they haven’t spoken in a hundred years: he’s realizing they are still friends.” gets me every time i look at it

why was shadwell in prison?? america explain

“i work in soho, i hear things” patron saint of soho confirmed

i still think that the neon halo blinking on and off above aziraphale’s head is the HARDEST that neil gaiman has ever gone and that we deserved to see it in the final cut

"michael: when your cause is just you do not hesitate to smite the foe, aziraphale." i'm thinking thoughts about the s2 finale under this lens; when your cause is just (saving the love of your life) you do not hesitate to suffer for pursuing it

“crowley looks back. he looks at aziraphale. above them, a beautiful starry sky. and crowley softens.”   jesus janthony christ.

“aziraphale is looking for someone. he spies a human statue dressed as an angel, with wings. it’s not him.”   GOD

gabriel about aziraphale: “i’m disappointed in him. not thinking like an angel.”

crowley “looks up, and talks to god, in the classical fashion.” see i really want a script book for s2 because i want to see aziraphale's expressions of faith plucked out a little bit more

crowley in the cinema: “he’s waiting for the end of the world. out of time. out of hope.”

the fact that crowley saw aziraphale walking down the street and left dagon on read is priceless

aziraphale looks hurt after crowley says he won’t even think about him

the music for the gavotte scene was recommended to be “i am a courtier grave and serious” from gilbert and sullivan’s the gondoliers which is PERFECT

“aziraphale is heading down the street, looking harried and as if he is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. which he is.”

sandalphon says “you know how we treat traitors in wartime?” to aziraphale and there was meant to be blood on aziraphale’s lips after sandalphon punches him. death to sandalphon

“why would you do this? we’re the good guys.”

aziraphale (resolutely not swearing): you. you B…AD angels.

“seducing women to do your evil will!” “i think perhaps you’ve got the wrong shop.” still the campiest line delivery i've ever seen

we don't need to speculate about crowley being in tears in the burning bookshop because according to the script he is canonically right on the verge of it

“right. i’m done. i’ve had it. i don’t care about any bloody angels or humans or anyone. i hate you all. somebody killed my best friend, and i don’t even care who did it. bastards, all of you.”   😭

when aziraphale is discorporated, his heavenly appearance is all his normal clothes but gleaming white

aziraphale: i have no intention of fighting in any war. “all angels on the floor turn and look at the angel who has said the unsayable.”

aziraphale can’t actually see crowley in the bar scene…he has no idea how wrecked his best friend is

aziraphale doesn’t take sugar with his tea. bastard

aziraphale crosses his fingers under the table when answering shadwell’s nipple question

aziraphale is wearing madame tracy’s pink motorbike helmet in the mirror of her scooter

they describe crowley’s suit in the burning bentley as “interestingly ripped”...........we were robbed of a crowley boob window moment and i'll never forget

aziraphale introduces crowley to madame tracy as “he’s…well, we’re sort of business associates.” you know, like a liar

aziraphale was fully about to murder adam. i don’t think i can stress this enough

aziraphale pokes himself to make sure he’s solid once he’s separated from madame tracy

aziraphale isn’t threatening crowley with the sword, “just making his point that he can do dangerous out-of-character things if he needs to.”

crowley: what if the almighty planned it this way all along? from the very beginning aziraphale: takes a drink from the bottle of wine

aziraphale looks like he’s going to cry when crowley reminds him that the bookshop burnt down 😭

aziraphale-as-crowley looks depressed 😭 he still thinks his bookshop is gone

the angels kidnapping crowley-as-aziraphale zip-tied his hands those dickheads

aziraphale-as-crowley: my friend! they’re kidnapping my friend!

the hit hastur gives aziraphale-as-crowley would have killed a human 0/10 wahoos

“the van with [crowley-as-]aziraphale in it drives away, and [aziraphale-as-]crowley tries to crawl after it.”   HEY NEIL I JUST WANT TO TALK

crowley-as-aziraphale says “what fun. i love a barbecue.”

i am literally ENRAGED that sandalphon was like “hell yeah you can hit aziraphale” to the minor demon who brought the hellfire i WILL throw hands

uriel calls it a barbecue too those fuckers

in the script uriel and sandalphon have their flaming swords drawn, so it wasn't going to be as insidious as expecting aziraphale to walk into the flame of his own volition. but they didn’t end up including it in the show, so it is that insidious after all

aziraphale-as-crowley keeping his socks on for the bath was such a choice

“he doesn’t actually have a newspaper and a cigar, but damn, he’s enjoying himself in his bath” 

i've seen so little talk about how absolutely ice cold aziraphale is in the bath scene with the whole “so you’re probably thinking, ‘if he can do this, i wonder what else he can do’? and very, very soon, you’re all going to get the chance to find out.” BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS TERRIFYING

aziraphale-as-crowley: michael. duude.

crowley and aziraphale both get out of their own elevators and meet up to walk out together which is poetic cinema

PIGBOG AND THE OTHER MOTORCYCLE IDIOTS THAT HUNG OUT WITH DEATH WERE GOING TO BE INCLUDED i miss them

[fillinforlater]

Monday of Appreciation: Part 74

Hello everyone, Smite here!

Y'all, yeorobun! Before you read this here, go listen to "Rising" by tripleS. Don't leave ma girls hanging, that song is fire!

Anyways, thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you also for reading my fics. The great response and support has led me to write 90 fics in like 1,5 year! Even better: there are other, more talented writers out there putting out stories on the daily. Here you go with some of the best:

-1-

@girlgroupshots: Manager Oppa ft. Joy

This fic came and went (like I did ofc) and that ending REALLY has me hoping for another part. But if we just focus on this part, yes, Joy is a joy and I want this too ahhhhhh, please, this is so simple yet so good. Anyways, read it.

-2-

@midnightdancingsol: Trail Mix ft. Winter

The idea with the selfie stick still sticks with me, just like the cum sticks to Winter. Now I wanna take my walking stick and stick it in her too. If it weren't for all your other releases, Sol, I'd be going feral over this, but you just go crazy with so many other smuts, I...

All I can do is put it on here, I guess lol.

-3-

@ggidolsmuts: Guilty Pleasures ft. Gahyeon

Ddeun is a revolutionary, istg, who comes up with these crazy, humorous, yet still very hot ideas? It was an amazing tease that had me clenching my teeth until we FINALLY got to Gahyeon (btw, super underrated). Now please, where is my [insert Kaede's current meow meow] fleshlight?

-4-

@sinswithpleasure: Sisterly Bonding ft. Chaewon, Winter (TW)

YO WHaT?!

Like... I'm out of words. Guess what the trigger warning is about from just the title and if you don't like it, don't read it, but if you're fine with it...

GO FOR IT. Masterful combo, masterful smut.

-5-

@midnightdancingsol: la folie de la lune ft. Yeji, Hyunjin (SKZ)

What's better than one Sol story? Two ofc!

I. WANT. NAOW. (Ig TW if you don't like a male idol in your fic (especially if he participates (tbh, that made that fic special for me frfr)))

Sol, you are a madlad like no other!

-6-

@torotauri21: Gym Buddies ft. Hyewon

This reminds me a bit of another fic lol, which is definitely a good thing. Damn, sometimes I forgot just how fucking beautiful Hyewon is and that she has assets that make me go 0.0.

But wtf? How did they not get caught??? Unrealistic?! Hello? Where is the REALISM in my smut??? (No fr, great fic)

Finally I got another bigger MoA. Disclaimer, the next will prob be short cuz of exams. See ya around!

[humbletumblecrudi]

Hello 🌻

I just wanted to say, I just found your blog and it's such a hidden gem!!

I love how you depict some of my favorite characters like Jade and Rook.

And I think your requests are open so I wanted to try and make one, if it's ok.

Could you do a continuation of the one where reader had accidentally led on Jade, but with a happier ending?

It's just that it totally broke my heart, and also I think it would interesting to read Jade's reaction onwards.

Like, maybe the perfect's crush didn't work out or something similar, would Jade make a move having realized his feelings?

Or maybe reader's crush wasn't deep feelings and in retrospective they realize Jade was special to them so they make the first move?

Azul's line got me thinking a lot as you can see xD

Sorry I think I'm rambling x0

But then again, don't feel pressured to write it, I'm very happy I got to talk a bit about it

Thanks again for sharing your work, its amazing, take care (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

-🌻

Writer's Note(s): Oh I love Jade so much and that request hurt my soul having him lead on! (⁠ ⁠･ั⁠﹏⁠･ั⁠) He was so in love and it hurt to leave it on a cliffhanger, I'm so glad you asked for a Part 2! I'd love to do it!

What Azul said near the end was supposed to be a slap to Jade's efforts, because of the 50/50 chance he had, he lost it. It hurt me to write! I also wanted to smite whoever it was Reader actually likes, because salt. 🧂😭 Azul was trying to be a good friend, he really thought it was Jade too... (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠)

Part 1 is here!

Info on Reader: Reader is a Male Reader, and uses he/him. The Reader has no descriptions given, but Reader is mentioned to have hair in a brief description. The Reader is not intended to be MC, but it's loose enough he can be. Readers not manipulated by Azul, Jade, or Floyd at all during this work, everything is done naturally.

Ship(s): Jade × Male!Reader who really loved him

Fujoshis and Fem Aligned Readers DNI || Enjoy your Part 2!

Ｊａｄｅ Ｌｅｅｃｈ || ジェイド・リーチ

To say his heart was soured for a while would be an understatement, especially when he was with someone he would naturally need for company. Floyd and Azul had been his choices, naturally, but also honest types like Trey and Jamil get a peak at him.

Azul had been honestly shocked that day you said a name that wasn't Jade, because it honestly felt like a bad rom-com deep in his head. A pining flirt like Jade can't be easily ignored unless you're actively avoiding seeing everything he does, so that had been one huge slap to the face... and not to Azul.

Of course, he'll try and fulfill your wishes and attempt to get your crush to notice your efforts. They can't use magic that might be manipulative after all, so Azul does anything he can for you. Gets their full schedule on note, gets their favorite items written down, and algorithms their favorite topics to talk about. But it's your hard work that needs to use it properly, so he leaves that to you.

Floyd is also not pleased by any of this. He may be Jade's sibling, but as a co-worker and seeing Jade give you extra pops on your coupon because he's smitten with you makes his face turn downwards. At first, he didn't seem to register that you said a different name, because he zoned out. He thought this was where Jade and him would have to be sent out of the room as a "show of faith", because you'd fluster and not be able to say Jade's name right in front of him...

But that sounded a lot like someone else. And Jade looked, honestly, more hurt then he'd ever seen his brother hurt before. Of course, the look on Jade didn't last long and Jade became more cordial and flat afterwards, but Floyd looked cross. What? What was this? This just felt icky but he's not good with words, so he just pouts until their alone to ask what's up here.

Later on, Floyd would look at you and ask Jade, "This guy! Look at him, all obtuse!" Jade doesn't stop him, because Floyd is entitled to feel as he pleases. And he's mostly out of it.

But Jade left almost immediately after you did, and only said, "It seems very late. I should go." Before he basically booked it out of there. Floyd wasn't happy about assisting with counting money, but he wasn't going to complain about Jade leaving at all. He can completely understand.

By the time Floyd got back to their shared room, Jade was already asleep. Youch.

Jade, during all of this, will be honest with himself and say that it had hurt to hear anything that wasn't him said in your voice. The sinking in his stomach was like when Jamil threw him from great heights into the desert in Scarabia, and the cold feelings he felt afterwards felt very bitter and chilly to him.

He never thought he'd say this, but his heart hurt for you and he almost felt vicious about it. Why? What was this? What's so special about this rejection? He's been rejected before...

And why does sitting next to you in class, because he had pulled strings a month ago to be near you in your shared class, make his heart flutter again? Your reading Azul's notes and messing with your hair as you stress about if this person will like you back, and this and that and this and that... !

He honestly wanted to ignore this, ignore you... but as you lean into him and ask him what this sentence means (as Azul is a bit too eloquent sometimes), he can only help you. He can't really say no to you yet, and this was his job technically...

As he reads it and tries to process what it could mean, he pushes his hair on his right side back as it scratches his ear. As he does so, he doesn't catch you staring a bit too long at his profile.

He tries to leave class last, but you seem to linger as well alongside him. He really hoped you would leave while entranced by your notes, but you stayed next to Jade as he packs up slower than usual. It can't be helped, he thinks, you're still technically friends.

And definitely, he realizes very quickly how much time you both spent together on a daily basis as the next few days pass. The odd lunch with him and Floyd happens, you always share your breaks together after shared classes, and you usually join him at the café once all your duties are done elsewhere. And that's not counting passing each other in the hall or using a facility like the library at the same time.

If Jade didn't know any better, he'd say he was trying to continue the hurt for himself, because this wasn't helping. And he definitely wasn't getting help from Floyd or Azul to get you to change your schedule somehow... your still special to him.

Maybe you could be friends. It'll take a while, but he'll manage. He's very good at making others perceive himself in a certain manner.

It wasn't long until he noticed that you weren't reading Azul's notes as long as you used to, especially since you often had him translate for you. The papers are not in direct sight for classes, so Jade assumes that you've studied them religiously and properly.

You seemed more downcast than usual, and he hopes that he doesn't hear about you getting together with your crush. That would be too much, especially barely a week past the request from Azul.

He doesn't notice, however, the many things that have turned towards him with you. He had taken to not really looking at you in the eye as much to help his heart stop racing, but it also only helped him not notice that your eyes are far more gentle for you. It seems, something may have changed...

After about two or three more days, Jade's starting to feel more calm about potentially losing you. Of course, after the papers had disappeared he knew he couldn't let this hang him up any longer. It was unhealthy and he knew a week had passed with little change, so he tried to distract himself. Inevitable things are unimportant details, it's going to happen. Seeing you was inevitable. And so he decides to just try his best and try tending the bar again...

... Until he sees you slide up on the bar near after-hours. He hummus as he thinks, it's inevitable. People need food, drinks, and socializing. It's inevitable.

While he begins cleaning the bar and menus, calling for Floyd to send the freshman home before the cleaning starts at closing, he starts to talk to you like it was a week ago. He knows he's been a bit withdrawn, but he won't fault himself. New situation, new faces.

"How are we doing tonight, sir." He greets with his signature hospitable smile, but it's simply a formality for you. "Did you come for drinks, food, or a meeting?"

"Just to wait for your off hours, Jade. I want to tell you something, and hopefully it's not interrupted." You answer, and definitely, it is likely an interruption might happen. This school was full of surprises and chances.

Jade doesn't dare let his mind wander to thinking of anything you might want to talk about. All he knows is your calm, and you're here for him. Nothing else. "Certainly. I'll make an exception to the one drink for loitering rule, just for you."

"Thank you Jade." He always does that for you, breaks an inconvenient rule just for you, but you always thank him anyway.

As soon as the kitchen closes and Jade gets two people to mop the main floor, he finally realizes it's time to talk. Two people as your only potential witnesses is better than nothing. He tosses his towel over the sink and runs hot water to melt the remaining ice, before he's done. And it's time to talk.

"What did you need from me while I was at work? Usually, I hear about most things over text or in class." Jade inquired into what this might be about.

"Well... I would like to talk about what happened in Azul's office." You state, and then add. "Not as his employee! As Jade Leech, you know?"

"... Go on." He really wished he had glasses to polish. Something to dust. Ice to refill.

You continue. "I was going over what I wanted as I read his notes and some of that information... well, it didn't sound like the person I crushed on. Was the person I was thinking of just a public face they had to look more appealing to a certain crowd. Maybe, I don't know..."

Jade wants to laugh, is that not what he also does to a certain degree? Everyone has faces and masks, so what could it be that you found so strange? Of course, Jade didn't really know from his absence gathering information on this particular request, but he's sure Azul has files.

Jade actually feels a bit... calmer? A more natural serene peace, if you want to look deeply. It feels almost like when he hopes Floyd doesn't burn the kitchen and ruin equipment while experimenting in there, and then coming in to see an actual maintained kitchen.

"Well, it's complicated, but something happened and I just couldn't go through with asking them out... I know that my heart's not in the right place and there's just someone I need to be more honest with." You seem sheepish but no less determined as you lean forward on the bar.

"Well, if you've been dishonest the only things you can do are tell the truth and atone. The crime should fit the punishment after all." Jade gives you the push you need to finish what you started, as he will have time to fully answer you if you continue.

And almost as soon as the mops hit the buckets and the two other students left for the back, did you finally confess. "I have been dishonest, Jade Leech. Who I really want to date, would be you, and not anyone else."

He has all the humility of an esteemed host, and the grace of a predator. But it seems even the noble Jade Leech, can turn pink and lose his words.