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#please let the [keep reading] thing work
skitskatdacat63 · 4 months
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Happy 5/14!!!!
Aaaaahh not sure if this is my best work 😭 I just really wanted to draw smth for vettonso day but my brain hasn't really been functioning well LOL so I kept dreading working on this, especially bcs its so important to me, y'know? I hope it's good????? I'm happy with the concept, but I was just so unsure on so many of the angles and it was killing me. I did the color thing bcs I thought it'd add something interesting to it :) since I didn't paint it as I usually would
Anyways! Process!
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Now I will explain all of them:
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Boy king au is where it all starts of course. I think their relationship is the most developed in this compared to the others, but at the same point, they just start from such a different point, especially affection-wise. All of these kinda have a power dynamic, except the last one, and this is the most imbalanced. Fernando is being subservient, the only part of Seb he may kiss(in public lol) is his hand.
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Matador au next. They hurt themselves when they try to be affectionate, because they live in the culture of a sport of violence and death. The sword separates them, their love for the sport keeps them apart, in fear that they hurt each other. Seb, yet again, looks down upon Fernando. Seb haunts Fernando's whole career, the constant overhanging presence. Also aside from that, shame that you can't see his three musketeers look bcs of the black background 😔
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2012 core!!! I think this one is pretty easy to understand. Both of them often kiss their trophies, more so than any driver. So they're both trying to claim the wdc trophy by kissing it. Maybe you guys should just get rid of the trophy altogether and claim each other! But yes, just like the sword in the matador au one, the trophy and their ambitions divides, keeps them from ever bridging the vast gap between them, at least at that point in time.
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The conclusion! Aka what I wish we will get at Imola 2024- kidding kidding. But it is 2024. Finally there is no conflict between them, there's no big thing keeping them in conflict, they can finally come together. Finally they can touch, there is no gap to bridge, they can appreciate each other, and appreciate what they failed to in years past.
The thesis is basically that they always have their aspirations between them, and their aspirations happen to be basically the same thing. Until those are resolved, the gap between them is too vast for them to recognize and/or find any commonality. How do you get along with someone when you're both fighting for the same thing? How do you get along when it feels like one of you is winning more? How do you get along when there's such a vast gap?
In boy king au, it's going to take a while before they both feel settled about the issue of the throne. That's what makes that au interesting, they're trapped in this state of non-closure and they have to actually solve their issues without the matter of one of them simply removing themselves from the equation. They have to find a way to get over themselves and their aspirations, because like it or not they're stuck with each other. I think with the hand kissing, it represents how Fernando, at that point, is only willing to play along with the game if it's tradition, and he often won't budge in other ways. Yes, I will show subservience, but only in this detached, formal way that I don't connect personally to. He's still holding his own bitterness over meaningfully appreciating Seb. Though it's not like Seb isn't at fault. It takes a while for him to not hold things over Fernando, and constantly humiliate him. One day they will meaningfully show affection, and it won't be some sort of power play.
I think matador au is pretty similar to real life, and the 2010s era(it's basically just their actual plot line but in the context of bullfighting.) They're forever going to have this big elephant in the room, and it only really gets resolved when one of them leaves the sport. Once they're not fighting directly against each other, they realize what they've been missing out on and what they were not appreciating for so many years beforehand. They finally come together because they can't just rely anymore on the sport keeping them together. They actually have to make that step to be in each other's lives, rather than just taking their presence for granted.
Also the text on the comic. "We keep missing, and missing, and missing, and finally kissing." It's basically: we keep missing the point of it all, we keep failing to appreciate each other presence in our lives and in our own individual grand stories. But when we're not forced together anymore, we have to make the choice to come together again ourselves. We keep missing what we actually need to do. Missing each other in favor of our aspirations. Etc etc. One day we will finally embrace and there will be nothing keeping us apart.
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southdownsraphael · 3 months
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I have finally posted another chapter of Like Cats and Dogs!
I'm really trying to get back into writing regularly even if it's not always 100% up to my standard, so I'd really appreciate it if you'd check out my work!
If you like catboy Jon, werewolf Martin, plenty of transness, and a whole heap of smut, you might like LCAD!
Fandom: The Magnus Archives
Rating: Explicit
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Additional Tags: Trans Jonathan Sims, Cis Martin Blackwood, Catboy Jon, Werewolf Martin, Dubious Consent, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Breeding Kink, Rough Sex, Mild Cum Inflation, Stomach Bulge, Anatomically Impossible Sex, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Curses, Overstimulation, Size Difference, Size Kink, Mild Blood, True Mates, Kissing, Angst, Biting, Violence, Nightmares, Impregnation, Pregnancy, Knotting, lots of smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Summary:
Jon has broken Martin's curse and changed his life, but things aren't always as simple as they are in fairytales. Will Martin and Jon be able to build something more out of a single chance encounter? Or will the pressures of life and the consequences of Martin's fifty-year curse prove too difficult to overcome?
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fromthegraveyard · 10 months
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why didn't anyone make a destiel meme about spn possibly coming back i can't believe i had to find out about this the normal way
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torybrennan · 3 months
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show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw
#please ignore the rest of the tags i will just be making things up#okay they start out in carolina but at least half the episode takes place in dc. do not ask me how travel logistics would work#tory spends the entire episode off with tempe doing bone stuff. booth feels upstaged by a 16-year-old girl#so he goes and hangs out with ben who does NOT trust him right off the bat#ben ends up having to run him over to liri at some point because there's crime afoot and tom is busy. they spend most of the ride in silenc#ofc they end up bonding Eventually because they are both obsessed with crazy emotionally stunted redheads named t brennan#tory is more effective than any of the squinterns and manages to piss hodgins off so bad just by existing#coop hangs out in the lab as saroyan tries to kick him out thirty times. he just keeps showing up and she can't prove who's letting him in#(it's tempe.) angela loves tory but tory does not love angela back. saroyan tolerates her. sweets likes her but knows she's hiding somethin#comes to the conclusion that she can read her friends minds and slowly drives himself crazy because obviously that can't be true#tory brings hi along whenever she needs someone with people skills and he is MORE than happy to participate in a hodgins experiment#hi gets to be king of the lab for about ten minutes. shelton hits it off with angela immediately and they solve half the case together#booth fucking HATES hi because he's evasive and really good at the manipulation thing. booth can't win verbal sparring and he gets Big Mad#at one point the four of them are in an interrogation room together (MISTAKE) because tory had them meddling a little too close to the sun#and booth is trying so hard to question them which didn't work even when they COULDN'T read each other's minds#tory figures out who did it and hi steals her thunder a la shrek wasnt vandalized he gave birth#temperance tells tory 'i know you've got a secret sweets told me and even though i don't trust psychology i find he's insightful' etc etc#tory's like well i might be but i can't tell you it's not just my secret and you wouldn't believe me anyway#because let's be real tempe WOULDNT believe her#meanwhile saroyan convinced by sweets paranoia managed to get a sample of tory's blood and test it and is like HEY WHAT THE FUCK#gets hodgins and they just stare at the results together and delve into conspiracy theories. he's like i KNEW there were werewolves#they debate telling tempe but know it wouldnt end well for the kids and decide to get rid of the evidence. but hodgins is SO smug#also angela spends the whole episode trying to convince everyone hi and shelton are dating and no one believes her#they finally see them kiss or something and they're all somehow floored and angela's just like yeah? duh?#if anyone read this i'm sorry and why
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hydropophis · 2 months
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tgcf is already chock full of things, events, characters(im looking at you bwx), and exciting new methods for xie lian to have his autonomy stripped from him which is why i can never really get on board with the reading of hualian being the classic big scary dominant guy/small meek submissive guy who always capitulates to his partner. i mean, that and many other reasons, but this one is a big one for me
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binders-and-beanies · 4 months
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#sry I need to vent more abt my tattoo pain bc I physically cannot do anything productive rn im completely and totally incapacitated#can’t read anything beyond short posts or texts. can’t eat or move at all#tried to sleep through it so it would at least Be Tomorrow so I can get medical help. but the jolts of pain make me like Jump#hence me being sent home from work early today like it’s not even that I was complaining I was just flinching involuntarily so much#and was unable to work or function at all. thank god I don’t work retail rn I remember the pain of tattoo infections in that context#it’s so Abrupt it feels like I’m being stabbed or repeatedly bitten#literally trying not to scream bc I have a roommate. but he almost certainly hears me crying and saying ouch#which sucks bc I barely know the guy lol he has no context. At least on my drive home I could scream as much as I needed#literally would go to the ER if I could afford it and that sounds so dramatic bc it is#it doesn’t feel like it can wait. genuinely don’t know how I’m gonna get through the night#I haven’t slept in like 60 hours and I doubt I will tonight. but it hurts too much to even tell if I’m tired#and I don’t have time for this!! I have so much I need to be doing. I hate that the only way I can have Time is to be Extra Disabled#in a way that leaves me completely unable to do the things I normally can fight through despite burnout#and I was just at health services yesterday asking them to do insurance paperwork that they couldn’t do#it’s embarrassing having to be like hey I was just there but can I come back#I have Another tattoo infection but I pinky promise I take such good care of them#and my artist is like the best of the best too. it’s like it doesn’t matter what either of us does to keep me safe#and I know if anyone responds to this it will be to tell me to stop getting tattoos#but that’s literally like telling me not to get top surgery if I’m immunocompromised n might have recovery complications#both are equally important gender affirming medical procedures to me I’m not joking#and I hate always having to justify this whilst in agonizing pain. I hate answering the same things every time bc still no one believes me#I say this as someone who lives every moment in baseline pain that would have your average person writhing on the floor and I ignore it#this is truly unbearable if I hadn’t been through it a million times I would think it was life threatening#just needed to get it out ig. bc it’s all I can physically do. until health services opens in 12 hours#PLEASE let them have availability tomorrow bc i have literally no option on weekends#this is just. so upsetting and embarrassing. I don’t have time or emotional capacity for this#personal#mine#vent post
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suncaptor · 5 months
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there's something specifically inside my head that is closing up that makes trusting anything so hard. i have to manually keep my mind open to the potential of anything being significant. i am so used to things being bad and things hurting and things not working and being powerless that it takes an exorbitant amount of mental energy to make sure I don't let myself shut down possibility. and I do it because I never want a certainty inside of me besides love to rule anything. but I want my brain elastic again. i want it open like breathing. it doesn't erase the unfairness or the critique or any of the bitter-built philosophy.
#it's so hard to describe what I mean. i think it's the combo of the like. specific part of my brain's development + the amount of trauma#I have endured + the degree of which that has been taking place on a backdrop of the world being incredibly injust no matter what I do#this is very very silly but the extent of how much this impacts me was made clear by how like. closed off I was to even liking an album by#my favourite singer. like obviously I am obsessively keeping myself open I would never let my preconceived sense of doom and stubbornness#control my willingness to let things in#but it shouldn't be so hard to keep my mind open to things like... liking my favourite musician of most of my life's music...........#and that's a VERY silly example but that's why it's easier to talk about. it takes so much work to be open enough for things like therapy#or religion because they've damaged me so much#how am i supposed to handle this on a backdrop of constant constant helplessness in the face of living insecurity and illness and trauma?#the problem is if you try so so so hard again and again and remain hopeful regardless of how illogical that hope is#but you get let down so constantly since you're never stop trying ever even when systems fail you again and again#and you're watching horrible things happen and everything that shapes you is horror#then regardless of how much you try it's so hard to let yourself let go of the very realistic lived experience of doubt and critique#and I DO. do NOT get me wrong. I am obsessive and refuse to be my own problem#but the act of doing so shouldn't be like this. it's in everything i do. from simple things like listening to new music to even the mere#possibility of a future#i am very worried this one is going to be misinterpreted bc I AM NOT saying I'm stubborn in the face of systems that have repeatedly failed#me. I AM NOT. I am saying to not be shouldn't take this work when it envelops the rest of my life.#if anyone reads this far please please acknowledge the degree of which I almost pathologically try again and again when I can guarantee#nearly everyone wouldn't and still fight to keep myself open to hope because that's just something in me that is like that. but BEING like#that is. repeatedly putting yourself in situations where you are powerless already and helpless to get better and then are hurt more and#there's no way to escape it's just the repeated nature of it and then trying to not be the issue.#it's the problem in itself.#my ambition SHOULD be smarter.#god I'll go into this when I fully understand it another time. i don't think i have this phrased in a way to make all the dots of what i#mean correlate in the significant ways to anyone but me#but hey i guess i'm expecting anyone to read this in a light to misperceive me in the first place instead of accept maybe I'm not explainin#well or giving me the benefit of the doubt. see.#delete
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starbudspresents · 2 years
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Re.Gray 002 - Full Moon Night
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♠ [ Read on AO3 ] ♠
♠ [ RAW image gallery ] ♠
♦ 63
Narration: 《AKUMA》 Narration: Malignant living weapon; deceased soul fused into mechanism.
Narration: 《EXORCIST》 Narration: Akuma-destroying clergyperson dressed in black.
Narration: At the close of an imaginary 19th century, Narration: strange things were happening night after night.
Allen: Timcanpy!
sfx: gara gara [wagon rolling over cobblestones]
Allen: Don't flap about so much, Allen: can't have you getting eaten by any more cats.
sfx: jah [pulling curtain aside] Clown: Whaaaa~~~? It got eaten~~? Clown: Lucky to be alive, innit!
sfx: patatata [Timcanpy flapping its metallic wings]
Allen: Rose from its grave, didn't you.
Clown: Wassat?
sfx: gyuh [shove]
Yosshii: Here in England to sightsee, traveller?
sfx: yoji yoji [flup flup, sound of wingbeats changing as Tim comes in for the landing]
Allen: No, not exactly. Allen: I've come to introduce myself Allen: at Exorcist headquarters.
♦ 65
2nd Night - Full Moon Night
♦ 66
Narration: Three months earlier, Narration: somewhere in India...
sfx: pao— pao— [elephants trumpeting]
Cross: Hey. Allen.
Allen: Yes, Master?1
Cross: You've been my apprentice for three years now. Cross: Figure it's about time you graduated... Cross: As of today, you may call yourself a full-fledged Exorcist.
Allen: !! Allen: You really mean it!?
Cross: But that means you need to show your face at Headquarters.
♦ 67
Cross: You... know how to find the place, right?
sfx: su [ominous frisson]
Allen: ... sfx: jirih [suspiciously shrinks back] Allen: Yes?
sfx: pata [flap]
Cross: I'll send my golem2 in my place, then, Cross: and fire off a letter of introduction to Komui, the fellow in charge there.
sfx: jirih [shrinks back further]
sfx: pao— [elephant]
Cross: Get going whenever you wake up.
Allen: You don't mean to skive off!?
sfx: fuoh [raises mallet] Cross: I can't stand that place. sfx: GOH [BONK]
sfx: bah [jerks back to reality with a shudder] Allen: Augh!!
♦ 68
Allen: Just a dream... Allen: I keep reliving it...
sfx: shah [pokes out of curtains]
sfx: haa haa haa [panting]
Clown: All right there~? Sounded like a nightmare~
Jan: AKUMA!!! Jan: It's an Akuma, we're doomed!!
Allen: !!
Clown: W-What's this now!?
Allen: Thanks for the lift! sfx: bah [hup]
Clown: Oh my!?
♦ 69
sfx: dadadadadada [pounding footsteps, Allen running pell-mell]
Allen: Are you all right!? Allen: Where's the— Allen: —Akuma!?
Baldy: No demons round here, mate.
Allen: Sorry?
Baldy: Now look what you've done, Jan, crying wolf.
sfx: goh [bonk]
Jan: OUCH
♦ 70
Baldy: Sorry 'bout that. This lad's a prankster.
sfx: osu [unrepentant]
Jan: It's not a prank, blockhead! Jan: The Akuma really are here!! sfx: geh [pout] Jan: They're slowly but surely spreading across the world! Dad said so!
Baldy: Yes, yes, we know. Here, have a sweet.
Jan: Don't treat me like a kid!! Jan: I'm telling the truth! Jan: Just now, over there, some big fellow in a top hat killed3 this homeless chap! Jan: Stuffed an Akuma skeleton right down his gob—
♦ 71
sfx: pakoh [claps a hand over Jan's mouth] Pigtails: Sorry, folks, just ignore him. Pigtails: Kept pestering me to play with him, so I did, but he got carried away...
Jan: Wnghf!? side, translation: "What!?"
Baldy: Yeah, s'what I thought. Baldy, side: Let's all get back to work.
Baker: We won't come running next time, y'hear?
Jan: Nnn! Hnnn!
sfx: ponn [silence falling like a struck gong]
Jan: ......
♦ 72
sfx: pii [keen slicing sound]
Allen: You cannot fool my eye.
sfx: bu [skin unzipping]
Allen: You're an Akuma.
sfx: bubububu [outer shell disintegrating]
♦ 73
sfx: DON [bwoosh, whole body goes to dust at once]
Jan: ......
sfx: hyuuu [dust curling in the breeze]
Allen: "Jan", was it? Allen: How do you know so much about Akuma?
sfx: pachin [snap of a rebuttoned finger glove]
Jan: WAHHHHHH
sfx: DOH [impact]
Allen: oof!?
♦ 74
sfx: DOH [impact]
Jan: An Exorcist! I've never met one before!! Jan: Was that your anti-Akuma weapon? Jan: Lemme have a look-see— Jan: Oops?
sfx: biku [twitch]
sfx: sha [rrr of rollerblades]
Jan: Dad's a Vatican scientist. Jan: He's aaaalways working, though, so I mostly have the place to m'self. Jan: Started reading through his research when I was bored one day, and found out about the Akuma and whatnot.4
Allen: What odd shoes...
Jan: My dream right now's to become a great scientist like him and invent a weapon that'll wipe out Akuma like that!
♦ 75
Jan: Meant to ask, though... sfx: chira [squint]
Allen: Yes?
Jan: Even a puny little squirt like you can make it as an Exorcist, eh?
sfx: GON [conk] rock: PUNY
Jan: I always pictured a big strapping bunch. Jan: Not... you. Jan: So how many Akuma have you done for? Jan: How'd you get your anti-Akuma weapon into your hand like that? Jan: How'd you feel when you destroyed your first?
Allen: Jan... Allen: You shouldn't stick your neck out so far. Allen: You were lucky, this time, Allen: but you should try to avoid attracting the Millennium Earl's attention. Allen: It's dangerous.
♦ 76
Jan: Catch. sfx: poi [toss]
Allen: An onion?
sfx: BON [explodes in his face] sfx: uuuun [tears pouring down, moaning]
Jan: Heh heh. My own invention: the onion bomb. Jan: I'm not just going to sit pretty while the Akuma invade!
sfx: kuru [turns away]
Jan: "Dangerous," my foot! Don't treat me like a kid, you milksop! sfx: sha—h [rollerblades away at speed]
Allen: M-My eyes... Allen: Pete's sake, Allen: I give up.
sfx: shimiru [stinging]
♦ 77
sfx: zudodododo [engine-like rumbling] sfx:goriririri, gago—, dori dori dori, zukyukyukyukyuu, ga— [whole cacophony of rumbling, squeaking metal, small explosions, etc.]
Maid: Young master! Maid: Young master...! Maid: Master Jan, you have a guest! Can you hear me? Maid: Young master Jan!
sfx: gacha [door unlatching] Jan: ...... Jan: Who is it? Jan: Leo!!
♦ 78
Jan: It's been ages, mate! Jan: Haven't heard from you since the funeral, been worried sick! Jan: Are you staying with your folks now? Jan: Losing your mum must've been hard, but I'm always here for you! Jan: Keep your chin up!
Jan: He seems.... different, somehow... Jan: His mum dying must've been a real shock... Jan: Isn't there anything Jan: I can do to cheer him up?
♦ 79
Jan: Oh, right! Jan: I saw an Akuma for the first time today! Jan: I've kept up patrolling while you were gone. Jan: There really is a mechanical skeleton on the inside! Jan: And! I saw the face of the Millennium Earl himself! Jan: It was definitely him. Jan: Hang on a sec, I'll sketch him. Jan: Umm, like so... and so.... sfx: kaki kaki [scritch-scratch]
♦ 80
Jan: Ta-da! sfx: baan [fanfare] Jan: We should go out on patrol again and pass these around!
sfx: ton [Leo puts his hand on Jan's forearm with an odd sense of weight] Leo: Jan Leo: there's somewhere I'd like you to go with me
sfx: jiririri [brrring] Allen: Just couldn't leave well enough alone, could I. Allen: Ah, well. I'll straighten the boy out right quick, then make for HQ. sfx: haa [sigh] sfx: jiririri [brrring]
♦ 81
sfx: gacha [door opens]
Maid: Hullo?
Allen: Whoa, déjà vu.5 Allen: Er, I gather this is Jan's residence? Allen: Is he in?
Maid: Young master Jan?
sfx: so~~~ [stealthy approach, palms out] sfx: DOI [push!]
Jan: Why are you here? Jan, side: pffft
♦ 82
Jan: Bet you've come to lecture me, Jan: but you can stuff it. sfx: keh [sticks tongue out] sfx: shaaa— [rollerblades away, backwards]
Allen: J-Jan... you little....
sfx: shah [rollerblades] Jan: Let's go, Leo.
Allen: Ugh—
On maid: [fainted]
sfx: piii [high-pitched whine; Allen's cursed eye spinning up] Allen: !! Allen: W-Wait a minute, Jan! Allen: That boy is—
sfx: gachan [gate clangs shut]
♦ 83
Allen: T-This... Allen: ...is a problem. Allen: Timcanpy, go after them! Allen: I'm right behind you!
sfx: patatata [flaps off]
Allen: Damn.... Allen: Headquarters will have to wait.... Allen: Seems there's someone else I need to show my face to first, Allen: Master...
♦ 84
Jan: Oi, Leo...? Jan: Is this really where you wanted to go? Jan: It's a boneyard. Jan: Oh, did you want to visit your mum's grave? Jan: Should've just said! Don't be so vague—
sfx: DON [small face meet big belly]
♦ 85
sfx: suih [pat on the head] Earl: Good evening. ♡ Earl: Pleased to make your acquaintance, young Jan. ♡ sfx: sui sui [pet pet]
sfx: bah [rears back] Jan: ...... Jan: M— Jan: Millennium Earl...!?
♦ 86
sfx: bah [winds up] sfx: byuBA [and tosses] Jan: Eat this!!
sfx: BON [onion bomb explodes in Earl's face]
Jan: Let's run for it, Leo! Jan: Oi, Leo!?
sfx: nyaa [eerie smile]
Jan: What are you doing!? He's going to kill us!! Jan: Leo—!!
Earl: Oh, dear little Leo has been dead for quite some time, we're afraid. ♡ Earl: Since his mother's funeral, in fact. ♡
♦ 87
Earl: This... Earl: is an Akuma we made to punish you for getting in our way. ♡6
Jan: You're lying....
Allen: He isn't. Allen: Jan, Allen: that boy is an Akuma!!
♦ 88
Narration: And thus, his master departed.
♦♥♦
FOOTNOTES
Title: 師匠 shishou, "master" in the sense of a master of a trade mentoring an apprentice or journeyman until they're good enough to practice independently. Conversely, Cross refers to Allen as his 弟子 deshi, "apprentice" or "disciple". [ ♠ ]
This word — "golem" — is written in katakana, ゴレム, as a direct loanword from another language: in this case Hebrew. A golem is a creature out of Jewish folklore which draws on deep symbolism specific to the Jewish people, but it shows up in Japanese fiction oddly often as some form of inanimate matter given temporary magical life according to particular parameters. [ ♠ ]
Putting a note here for later reference, because this is a bit interesting: we learned in Night 001 that the Earl makes Akuma using a living person who's lost someone and the soul of the one they lost, yet here, the Earl seems to have killed the living vessel directly and put a (possibly pre-filled?) Akuma mechanism into him. If that's something he can do, the size of the Akuma population would make more sense. [ ♠ ]
In light of the later arc in which an Order scientist tries to leave and has difficulty with the security measures in place to prevent this exact information from leaking out to the general public... who on Earth is Jan's father, and how did get a breach this spectacular past the Order? [ ♠ ]
This is just an easy-to-miss joke: the maid looks like she could be closely related to the clown on the carny wagon he hitched a ride with. [ ♠ ]
This is very interesting, as it implies that the Earl doesn't want information about himself or the Akuma released either, putting him in line with the Order on this front. Neither power wants the war between them to become public. It makes more sense for the Earl, at this point, because if people knew about him and knew his bargains weren't what they seemed, they might be less likely to willingly assist in the Akuma creation process. [ ♠ ]
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mearcatsreturns · 1 year
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I don’t miss having a car most of the time, but the exception is days like today, when I want to SCREAM and there is nowhere I can really do that without getting unwanted attention
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shopwitchvamp · 2 years
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Now that we're well past our moving crisis, etc. I'm trying really hard to get back onto any semblance of a schedule. You know, just like.. eating and sleeping regularly and not working 100% of the time? But dang. It's hard. It's past 9pm though so I'm gonna try to like play a visual novel or something and then go to bed at a decent time instead of working on shop stuff all night. Wish me luck. ✌️😭
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thundertide · 1 year
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Mini blog update: I’ve updated Kagota’s about page! This is the first of a muse list-wide update project I’m slowly working on in the background, with the aim to make them look neater, explain things more clearly, and look like less of a clustery mess. For the time being, other muses and any new ones that’re added will have the original way I had the pages set up (i.e. like Lumine’s and Aceline’s) because i already had them in progress before starting this project, but going forward, I’ll be working on updating them all, one by one, to match how I have Kagota’s set up now.
Changes of note:
There’s now a combat/constellation section! OCs like Kagota will see far more information in this section than canons because they don’t have anything to run off in game; this means she not only has a constellation breakdown, but actual attacks listed as well as a general fighting style, hopefully to make any fight threads that might happen in the future a little easier to work out, as well as sort out and trim down the other sections (misc, abilities, etc) a little. All OC based constellation artwork is made my @yoroiis and I will eternally love and thank her <3
Heraldic Tempest has been added to Kagota’s info. After doing a lot of talking and sorting things out with @yoroiis​, I’ve decided to add Kagota’s own abyssal abilities, Heraldic Tempest, to her info, especially given it’s started to make itself seen in her threads and explains why Kagota has memory and attitude issues until after the Sumeru arc. Whether or not Tempest is her own being within her or simply another aspect of Kagota is yet to be seen, and will be expanded on as we learn more of the abyss in canon. Tempest also has her own tag to reflect this.
I’ve added Starchasm Nyx/Veliona/”Seele” as the FC for when Tempest is making herself known. Additionally, Seele herself is now Kagota’s primary FC, specifically the Star Rail version of her with the HI3 version a younger Kagota; however, because there’s a lack of media to make icons from at the moment, her other two FCs in Ishtar and Rin Tohsaka will be seen more than Seele herself until I can find a means to make more.
With the combat points moved into their own section, I’ve fleshed out the misc, interests, and abilities tabs a bit more - And also given her bio a total rewrite to reflect the new info decided on! There are also mentions of her children post-Sumeru arc, as this ties in to Tempest and the previously mentioned attitude and memory issues.
The next up for this update is Cettra, so I’ll be making a note like this once I’ve got her rehauled page completed! <3
~Pom
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what-even-is-thiss · 2 months
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The reason people don’t want to work is that it’s just normal for them to be in bad work environments.
My issue with working at Walmart wasn’t the work itself I was doing. It was the circumstances around it. The concrete floor, lack of places to sit, having to put up with asshole customers, not getting time off for injuries, and bad pay.
If I had been given shock pads to stand on or a few chairs to rest on sometimes, if they paid me a livable amount of money and I was allowed to yell back at asshole customers, if they had given me any amount of training, I would happily work part time folding clothes all day and telling people where the swimsuit section is.
I’m a creative type. I’m a writer. I’m pretty smart, even. But if I could make a living folding shirts and listening to podcasts in one ear and helping people find the scented candles for 30 hours a week? I would. Leaves some mental space free for me to brainstorm. Lets me catch up on my reading with audiobooks.
But instead I was treated so badly by upper management and customers that I’m like legitimately a little frightened whenever I step into a Walmart now. And I only worked there for three months a few years ago.
I’m a good lower level worker. When I’m treated well. I like finishing tasks. I like being helpful. I like having some time to talk to coworkers and some time alone with my thoughts. I’m a frickin team player. And that’s how I was at my first job. I was treated well by my supervisor. I was trained. They were patient with me. I was so good at being low on the totem pole at that job because I was valued and felt like I was being listened to. I was able to sit still when there was nothing left to do which made it feel less bad when we were on a time crunch. I didn’t mind working hard at that job because it was fun even though I was doing all the low level stuff that the supervisors didn’t want do.
But at Walmart I was like that for all of two days. Then I figured out that nobody appreciated my work and if I worked in my normal people pleasing manner I’d kill myself because their standards were high and the rewards for meeting them were low.
So I slowed down. I started avoiding customers. I started taking a lot longer to get to my breaks and to come back from them. I became worse at my job because no matter how good I was at it there would be no reward, no appreciation, and I’d just be pushed further beyond my limits.
My only level of happiness from that job came from the people who were working with me. The old ladies and my department manager who made sure I wasn’t overextending myself. The one other young man working in the clothing department who always got sent with me to unload the heavy stuff and commiserated with me about the shoulder injuries, the hurting feet we were too young to have.
But none of that was enough to make me stay. We were constantly understaffed. I was constantly abused by customers and not able to do a thing about it. I was not paid much at all. So as soon as I had enough saved up for what I was trying to do and my last semester of college was about to start I handed in my two weeks.
I would have found a way to stay if I liked that job. If I liked that job I would’ve pushed myself to my mental limits to finish college and keep that job at the same time. Heck that job could’ve been a rest from college. A place to get away from it. But I hate that job so I got out as soon as I could.
I want to work. I want enough money to live sort of comfortably. I want to have some tasks to do to give my creativity a rest. I want to be a part of something. But the way that modern corporate run work environments are set up does not give me any of the things I actually want out of a job. And I think that’s the same for millions of people right now. A lot of people would happily spend their lives as a waitress or an Uber driver or a warehouse worker or a farmhand or any other “low skill” job you can possibly think of. But with the way the world works right now those jobs are absolutely miserable. It doesn’t have to be that way. I know because I’ve had a fulfilling part time minimum wage job that I looked forward to going to every week. A job where I was listened to and allowed to sit when I needed to. I miss that job. Especially now since I’ve realized that’s not the standard. It should be. People should look forward to going to work or at the very least not get mild ptsd whenever they set foot into a Walmart.
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himalayaan-flowers · 3 months
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please stop describing ERP as a "gold standard treatment" i am going to cry
#i am so so so sick of reading articles like “why won't your ocd get better? it's bc you're not engaging with ERP or doing your homework”#why is everything apparently always my fault?#i can see how ERP works with a fear of flying or something#i basically did ERP on myself before with that#i basically instinctively used CBT on myself to stop my endless compulsions as a teenager#i still have them but i improved so much#but this form of ocd is NOTHING like that#you cannot use CBT on a fear of something intangible#ERP is making you do something you fear will send you to hell forever#if someone believes that genuinely there's no way they're taking that risk#and for BDD???#bdd is not just about anxiety it's about shame#ERP will not fix that#it's too late i can't undo anything#it's my own bad choices which made the BDD worse but there's nothing i can do now#please stop blaming me for seeing things as they are :'(#i'm stupid but not that stupid#you know when someone has really severe terminal cancer#you don't keep forcing them into treatment that won't work#you let them die#why can't it be that way for psychological pain?#i would like to have lived#but not as me#the ocd/bdd is no one's fault apart from maybe my own#but i didn't consent to being born#i didn't ask to have messed up genetics that make me this way#if it's my own fault bc “free will” i didn't consent to free will either#i just want to die without hurting anyone#i just wish i would die naturally so i don't have to face the guilt of hurting my mum#i love her so much </3
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facts-i-just-made-up · 2 months
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Not A Joke, Not Unreality:
A company called Quantum Fiber (under Century Link) recently set up my home town for fiber optic internet. I got them a month ago and aside from a few outages it was decent.
Last week, it went out. They sent me a super specific time it would be back-
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They failed to make it and sent another, minutes later.
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And another when that failed.
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And over the week, more and more.
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I called and they just read me the same email out loud. They offered no escalation or resources. Every time, they fail. I have not had internet for my house in a week, and this morning I got this one-
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I looked into other people having the same problem and found this-
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Edit forgot link
That's not something called a "766" line, that's them fucking up my city 766 times. This company is fucking shit, and I'm sick of this. I've filed an FCC complaint but those take a month to even get a reply.
So I'm hoping my 173,365 followers can help make this show of their ineptitude and callousness go viral. Please.
They are in a time of massive expansion into many new states and cities. I am asking anyone so inclined with a few minutes to spare to find your town or state's government information technology office or liaison, or just a local government representative of any kind, and write them a quick note stating that this company destroys town utilities and offers absolute frustrating failures of service in return.
If you have Quantum Fiber and have been similarly failed by them, please file an FCC complaint. You might at least get a free month out of it.
If you work with a news source or popular blog, please boost this however you can.
If you are on any app on which they are present, please feel free to write or tag them and let them know they have failed their customers and cities they work with.
Please do not engage in threats or harassment of any form. Keep this legal, civil, and proper so that it can create a legal basis and record of good citizen interaction on the part of this company's victims. I am asking for help in a grassroots campaign, not a violent or prank-filled heap that just gets people in trouble. AND DO NOT FOR ANY REASON EVER PESTER THE WORKERS, PHONE REPS AND TECHNICIANS THEY HAVE OUT THERE. This is the corporation's fault, not the poor folks they employ who they likely try to make take the backlash.
If you have any other ideas on how to hold a mega-corp responsible for the shit they put their customers through, please comment and recommend. I am sick of this shit. I know there are worse things happening and even worse companies doing horrid things right now. But maybe this one is new/small enough that a viral campaign can kick them where it hurts and get them to act more responsibly to their customers and safely to the places they work.
Please help if you have time. Please spread this in the hopes they see it and get off their butts and fix their horrible shit. Any random reblog or post on any platform might be the one their investors hear of.
Thank you anyone for anything you can do.
-Ari
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cryptictongues · 15 days
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The Thrill of the Chase
pairing: Logan Howlett x Female Mutant!Reader rating: Explicit (MINORS DNI; 18+) word count: 7.1K summary: Logan ate part of your sandwich, so you stole his cigars. Things turn out differently from what you were expecting.
warnings: fluff and smut, teasing, slight predator/prey trope, banter, making out, dirty talk, oral (f and m receiving), vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, squirting, soft!dom Logan
Author's Note: My first Logan fic! X-Men used to be my world and the fact it is making a comeback has rejuvenated me. Also, I was picturing Logan from the first three trilogies but DOFP!Logan also crossed my mind so :)
Please read my pinned post before following me! Minors and ageless blogs will be blocked as this blog’s content is NSFW.
[AO3 link]
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It was getting close to evening, everyone doing their own thing to unwind after a long day of classes and teaching. You had planned to do the same thing, planning to grab a quick bite in the kitchen before getting ready to relax in your room. You were whipping up a quick and easy sandwich, assembling it onto a plate before moving it to the island in the middle of the kitchen. You went to get a soda from the cupboard, only for your skin to raise as you sense something is about to happen: a certain someone was about to come take your sandwich. 
“If you take one bite out of my sandwich Logan, I will kick your ass.”
You turn to see him, eyes wide along with his mouth, about to chomp into your dinner. He closes his mouth, only for him to keep the sandwich in his hands and an “innocent” smile on his face. 
“Oh, you mean this sandwich?” 
You shut the cupboard door, walking over to him with a stern, playful look. You know he is messing with you. That has been the dynamic of your relationship with him. Ever since he decided to stay here at the school and join the X-Men, you two have grown closer and closer, enjoying each other’s company over anyone else. It didn’t matter what either of you did. You both thrived in the presence of one another. 
But something that has become common practice as of late was playful in nature. You both have always teased, but it has recently ramped up. If one of you started it, the other would find a way to end it before starting again. It was the push and pull between the two of you that you loved, and it has only made you long for him. You want to believe he feels the same, but even your mutation of precognition can’t fully confirm that. 
“Yes, that is my sandwich. I worked very hard on it. I'll have you know.” You are standing in front of him now, having to look up at him slightly as you wait for his next move. 
“I’m sure you did. It looks delicious.” He says, but rather than looking at the food, he is looking right at you. Cheeky bastard.
“Y-yeah, which is why I am asking you to put it down so I may enjoy it.” 
“I don’t know. I think I wanna have a taste first.” 
His hazel eyes are staring you down, almost begging for you to make a move. In reality, you really didn’t care if he ate it. You could easily make another and enjoy dinner with him. But you know that isn’t what he is doing right now. He is playing with you, wanting to rile you up. Well, it takes two to play that game.
“That sandwich is very precious to me. I’d think before you act.”
“Oh yeah?” He smirks, bringing his face closer to yours. “What are you going to do about it?”
“I’ll take something precious of yours.” 
He chuckles, turning his face to the sandwich. “I’d like to see you try, sweetheart.”
He takes a huge bite out of your sandwich, his eyes closing as he chews. You purse your lips, watching him savor your meal with gusto. You know he is overexaggerating to truly get at you, but little does he know you have a trick up your sleeve.
“Enjoying my meal?” 
He turns back to you, swallowing before licking his lips. “Very much. I may have to take another bite.”
You get up in his space, settling onto your tippy toes so your face is by his ear. You let your breath waft against his skin, causing a shiver to shake his core. You can tell he is anticipating what you will do, always highly enjoying your responses to his antics. Oh, he is so in for it.
“That’s okay. You can have it.” You let your pointer finger trace his collarbone that is very much on display from his white, fitted tank. “And you want to know why that is, Logan?”
He takes a deep breath, very apparent that your actions are doing something to him. His left hand lets go of the sandwich to settle on your hip, squeezing the flesh slightly to ground himself. It is actions like that that make you believe you do something to him. Like you drive him just as insane as he does to you. You bring your left hand to his head, pulling him down so you can really get into his ear. 
“That’s because I know where you keep your special cigars from Cuba, and I am going to take them.”
You couldn’t have run fast enough. You are already shooting for the stairs, taking two steps at a time as you speed to his room. You knew it had taken him a second to realize what had happened because by the time you got to his floor, you heard him yelling your name. 
You burst into his room, locking it quickly. It was only to buy some time, for you knew he had a key. You were giggling as you went to his bookcase, plucking out the blue, hardcover history book. You open it, and smile as you see the unopened cigars there in the deep hole where text used to be. Just as you close the book, you hear heavy footsteps reach the door and a jingle of keys.
You panic, needing to find a way out before he opens the door. You could run around him, but you needed a head start. You could hide and wait for him to leave but you knew he’d sniff you out. There was only one option left, and that was to go out his bedroom window. You hear the key enter the lock, and with a quickness you didn’t think you had, you unlocked his window and flung it open. Just as the door busted open, you crawled out. You grasped onto the ivy that clung to the school’s exterior and began to climb down. 
“Oh, when I get my hands on you, you are in for it!”
You look up to see Logan’s head popping out the window. He has a scowl on his face, but you could see the wild look in his eyes. You knew he was enjoying this, for he loves the chase.
“This is for taking my sandwich!” You yell, and continue making your descent. 
You hear the window close, which makes you go faster, knowing he is rushing down those stairs to meet you at the bottom. You could sense that he would go to the front door, so once your feet touch the grassy floor you run to the back door. Opening it quickly, you determine your next move. He is probably at the front, ready to intercept you, giving you the opportunity to hide somewhere. 
You rush to the hallway where many of the classes are held. You run into the first classroom you see, its door already open. You see the large oak desk at the back of the classroom, and quietly walk up to it. It has a space for leg room, so with haste you crawl in it, pulling the chair in carefully to not make any sound. 
Your heart was racing, adrenaline thrashing as you hid. You try to steady your breath, trying to keep quiet. The atmosphere has become eerie, the silence defying as you try to keep it that way. You try to listen for any other sounds over your pounding heart, when another wave of cognition hits you. You can see it clearly, where he finds you under the desk, hands on either side to block you in. You know you need to move on, so you go to move the chair, but you suddenly halt when you hear his voice boom nearby.
“Where is she?” 
You cover your mouth, trying to hold in your breathing as well as the gasp that almost shot from your mouth. His voice was coated in gravel, and absolutely primal. Even from afar, it was clear he was worked up, and it made you embarrassingly wet. 
You hear footsteps enter the hallway, heavy boots against the shiny wooden floor. At first, you think you may have a way out, hearing him pass the room you were in, but you aren’t so lucky because you hear him stop. You grip onto the book and your mouth, even though you know it will do absolutely nothing. You know he senses you, and it is confirmed when you hear footsteps enter the room. You hear him inhale deeply, exhaling with sigh only to turn into a deep rumble. 
“I know you are here.” He is slow in taking his steps, and each step gets closer and closer to your hiding place. 
He sniffs deeply again, growling this time around like he was a wild animal. “No point in denying it. I could smell you the second I walked into the hall.”
You know he will find you, and he will block you in. So you decide to take a risk before he closes in on you. You push the chair out far enough to crawl out, before standing up behind the desk. You put your hands up with the book in your left one, trying to show off a sign of surrender. 
“You have nowhere to go, dollface. No point in trying’ to run for I’ll snatch you up real quick.” 
“You must really want your cigars back to block me in like this.” 
He steps even closer, with him now standing right in reach of the book. He could easily grab it and take it, for he is much stronger than you. But he doesn’t make a move, staying glued to his new spot. You don’t know what’s running through his head, his eyes trained on you. It isn’t until he places his hands onto the desk that you take a step back and drop your hands. 
“You’re wrong.”
You raise a brow, not sure what he is getting at. “What do you mean?”
He smirks, leaning his body over the desk. “It isn’t the cigars I’m after. Not anymore.”
Your heart is in overdrive. You know the answer, it is becoming obvious. But you ask anyway. “Then what are you after, Lo?”
“I think you know the answer. Now it is a matter of will you let me take what’s mine.”
You want to give in. You are becoming more aroused by the second, but you are starting to really enjoy the chase. Seeing how much it gets him going, to see this side of him, only makes you want to push him more. You want to see what he will do, especially when he gets his hands on you.
You walk around the desk, book of cigars still in hand, getting closer to him until you are toe to toe with him. “What’s the fun in surrendering?”
He quickly blocks you in, the desk pressed against your back. He has the most seductive, but feral grin upon his lips, like he thinks he has won his prize. His head leans down to yours, forehead against forehead, before he whispers his next sentence against your lips.
“The fun is in what follows.”
His lips are on yours, desperate and needy. You can’t help the moan that leaves your throat, mind going hazy as his lips devour. You have craved him for so long, you want this to last forever. However, you cannot give into him like this. You will not make this easy for him.
One of your hands goes to the hem of his tank, fingers lingering before going under. He feels so solid, the coarse hairs on his tummy spread thick as you go to his left side. You can feel him shudder over you, and you try to hold back the smirk that wants to curve onto your lips. You move your fingers sporadically over the left side of his ribcage, causing him to jump back. This gives you the chance to run like hell.
“Hey! That’s unfair!” You hear him yell and it makes you giggle profusely. You must thank Jean later for letting you in on that little secret; that the broody, grumpy man with the metal bones was insanely ticklish. You wish you could turn to see his full reaction, but you are too determined.
You can hear him running right behind you, and you have never been more aroused. You shouldn’t feel so turned on by Logan chasing you around, but the thrill of the chase was seeping into your loins and you were addicted. 
More people had shown up around the school, meeting with friends to study or hang out for the evening. You were dodging people left and right, and everyone looked perplexed as they saw Logan charging his way towards you. Many of them probably assumed it had to do with the book you were holding, and while they would have been originally right, they are no longer even close. 
You don’t have time to hide again, not with him so close behind. You make it back to the stairs, hauling ass as you try to make it to your room. You can hear him right behind you, breathing heavily and grunting with each step. Your room is at the end of the hall, and you are basically flying with how fast you are running. The second you reach the door, you swing it open and throw yourself in before slamming it. You had gotten it shut, mentally pumping your fist in victory, but by the time you went to turn the lock, it was too late. The door flies open, sending you back a couple feet back as Logan stands at the door's entrance. 
“I have you right where I want you. No more running.”
If looks could kill, you’d be ash. He enters your room, closing the door behind him with his eyes staying on you. He takes one step forward, with him now hovering over your smaller form. The way he is looking at you makes your knees faint, for you felt you could hear what he was revealing with his stare. 
“I still know your weakness, Logan.” You smirk, holding the book up to your face to dodge any attack he was planning. It is pointless, you know, but it is the best defense you’ve got. 
“Do you now?” He walks towards you, in step with you as you go backwards. The back of your knees hit the edge of your bed, telling you that you truly have nowhere else to go. He is right on you, grinning now that he has the upper hand. 
“I’m afraid that book won’t save you from me.” He snatches the book, tossing it to the side of the bed. 
You are in for it. You don’t know what he is planning, and the element of surprise has overcome you. However, with the way he is looking at you, you guarantee that what is about to happen will be just as exhilarating as when he was hunting you down. 
“What do you plan to do with me, hm?” You let your fingertips walk along his chest, dancing all the way down to his side like you did earlier. 
He is quick to grab your hand, bending down to lift you up in his arm before tossing you onto the bed, following swiftly as he pins both hands above your head. 
“Don’t even think about it. I know you all too well.” He growls through his teeth. “As for what I plan on doing, what’s the fun in telling when I can just show you. Would you like that?”
You simply nod, breathless at how he is handling you. However, that wasn’t good enough for him, as he takes hold of your wrists in one hand so his other one can grip your chin.
“I wanna hear you say it, pretty girl.”
You huff, getting frustrated already that he is dragging this out. With your legs still free, you wrap them around his hips, your heels digging into his back causing him to grunt. Your lips are practically on his, faint contact making you antsy. “Show me what you’ve been wanting to do with me.”
Your lips are squashed by his instantly, hunger and desperation clear. His hands go to your thighs, grabbing at the flesh. With your hands free, they go straight to his hair, gripping and tugging on it which causes him to moan hotly into your mouth. 
His hands travel up to the hem of your blouse, pushing the fabric up past your stomach before his hands go under. You moan at the contrast, rough hands, that have been through so much running along your unmarred body. He swallows what you give him, groaning happily at the effects he was causing.
You are in heaven. You never thought you would be here like this with Logan. You never thought you would be under him at his complete mercy. It makes a shiver travel down your spine, traveling right to your core that is a heated mess because of the man before you. To be with the man you have pined for is riveting, and you could cry that he seems to return those feelings.
You don’t know what triggers your mutation, but it is sudden. Your vision goes blurry, a strong aura surrounding you. It is overwhelming, a whimper bubbling from your throat as you see what is about to happen. Logan releases your lips with a grunt, looking at you intensely as you start to shake. You feel his rough hands cup your soft cheeks, stroking them gently. 
Your cheeks feel hot, your vision turning you into a horny mess. Your hands grip onto Logan’s chest trying to ground yourself to reality. It’s too much. Your visions rarely last long for they are just snippets of future events, but this was different. It was as if you were in a trance, and could feel everything he was doing to you. You don’t know if it is your heightened emotions, especially with him right on you. All you knew is that pleasure was present, and you were starting to fall apart. 
“Hey, what’s wrong?” You can hear his demeanor change, worry laced in his tone.
“Fuck,” you couldn’t help but moan, unable to control yourself. “I can feel everything, Logan.”
There is a pause, hands still touching your face. A few beats later, he lets his right hand go down, only to stop at your thigh squeezing tightly. 
“Tell me what you see, baby.” 
The rumble in his voice intensifies everything, causing you to grip onto him tighter. “Oh God please don’t make me say it out loud.”
You try to look away, but his left hand shifts so it is grabbing your chin. He forces your head back up, bringing his face down to yours like he had in the classroom. His breath fans over your lips, taking in the way they move as sounds leave them. 
“I’m fucking you, aren’t I? Making you lose yourself on my cock? Is that what you are seeing?”
You can barely talk, too enthralled in your vision. You grab the hand that is on your thigh and bring it to the top of your black pants. Logan gets the idea and angles it so he can slide his hand into them. His fingers brush over the fabric, feeling the damp spot that has formed drastically. You hear him curse under his breath, the vibrations hitting your lips as they brush against one another without full pressure. 
“Oh sweetheart, you are so wet.” He murmurs, pulling his hand out to bring it up to his nose, inhaling deeply before releasing a sound so feral that you could sob. “And you smell so fucking good.” 
You can’t help but nod, not knowing how to respond. All you know is that you need him. Need him to take you on your bed and do whatever he wants to you. You’ll take anything he is willing to give you, for all you want is for him to make himself known to you. 
His hand had gone back down to your crotch, cupping your pussy through the material. “Does she want more attention?”
“Logan, please do something.” You choke, your mind steadily coming back to reality, but still not fully letting go. You start to grind down on his palm, desperate for anything he will give you, but he removes his hand, going to the back of your head to grip tightly.
Damn him!
“I know she deserves something, but do you? Do you deserve me after getting me so worked up like that?”
“Logan, I am begging.” You cry out in frustration, your nails digging into his chest causing him to groan lowly. “I want you. God, I’ve always wanted you so please take what’s yours!”
He is back on you, kissing you till the air in your lungs dissipates. He starts to kiss away from your swollen lips, kissing down to your neck. He nips at your pulse point, going up to your ear to give it a light lick before going back down. With every kiss, he takes a deep breath in, which only makes him get more aggressive. Soft kisses turn to an open mouth lather to nips that could have easily broken the skin.
“I don’t think you know what your scent does to me. It draws me in every time.” He bites down particularly hard at your collar bone, and you wouldn’t be surprised if blood had come to the surface. 
His hands come back up to the front of your blouse, carefully unbuttoning the garment before revealing your breasts that are almost spilling out of your bra. His hands mold over the cups, squeezing hard and slow as he makes his way to your sternum. 
He is being so gentle with you, a complete 180 from how you thought this was going to go. He was so rough with you in your head, fucking you until you couldn’t even say a word. This side of him was endearing, but you crave more from him.
“For someone so feral for me, you sure are taking your time.”
He bites the top of your left breast, making you gasp at the sudden pain. “I don’t think you are ready for that side of me, dollface.”
Your right hand goes to his head, taking a handful of his hair and yanking his head up. You know he wants to absolutely ravish you, and if it’s some convincing he needs, some convincing he is going to get. 
“When I said to take what’s yours, I meant it. I want you to make me beg until I’m dumb, so fucking do it.”
“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you, Princess.”
His hands go under your top from the back, unclipping your bra before letting them resurface. He starts to yank your top off from the shoulders, only to smack your thigh that causes a light sting.
“Arch that back for me.”
You do as he says, allowing him to take the rest of your top off along with your bra. He flings them both across the room, only to do the same with his tank. You’ve seen his upper body plenty of times, as there would be instances in which he disregards it for a training session. But this? This was very different. It’s a different atmosphere, and rather than everyone getting an eye full of his muscular, hairy body, it is now for your eyes only. 
He’s looking down at you, pupils flared as he takes you in. You shiver as his palms stroke your tummy, slowly going up until they encompass your breasts. Your nipples pebble from the rough texture of his skin, and you can see it excites him. So much so that he takes the opportunity to take your nipples between his fingers and pulls them gently with a pinch. Your back bows off the mattress, adoring the pain he is providing, and let out a mewl as he lets go to run his thumbs over the tender peaks.
“You sound so good,” Logan murmurs. “I need to hear more.”
His right arm goes under your back to keep you up, holding you there as his mouth goes to your left breast. He takes your nipple into his mouth, sucking with his eyes still on you. Your cheeks flush, head tilting to the side to avoid looking at him. It’s too much. It’s too fucking much. 
Whimpers slip from your mouth, his treatment of your breasts making you want to rub your thighs together to soothe the ache, but he keeps your legs open. He eventually does the same to your other breast, working to match the work he left on your other nipple: hard, and tainted red.
He lets up, sitting on his knees as he unbuttons your pants, hands sliding the material down your legs in earnest. He tosses your heels off before stripping away your bottoms, and he hums as he admires the black, lacy thong you adorn. 
“Fuck,” he snaps the elastic, eyes entranced. “You sure you didn’t see this coming earlier? Wearing something sexy like this?”
“They work better with my pants.” You huff, his fingers lightly running along your covered slit.
“Hmm, no wonder your ass looked so good today.” He grins. “But this pussy? I could play with her all day.”
He lowers himself, sliding off the bed only to bring you with him, your body gliding across the comforter with ease. He clutches onto your thighs, letting your legs rest in the crook of his elbows. He keeps his hold tight, bringing his lips down to kiss and suck on your thighs. You gasp at the aggressiveness, swearing you will see dark purple marks on you later. You moan at the idea, as it feels like he is finally claiming you; like are his to mark, to claim, to fuck, to love. 
He makes his way to your center, sniffing deeply before releasing a feral growl. He lets the tip of his tongue lightly drag from the bottom to the top of your heat, still fully covered by the damned thong. He flicks at your clit, a ghost of a touch that has you bucking your hips. And he draws back every single time. His self-control is impressive but frustrating all the same.
He starts to suck on it through the material, creating a bigger wet spot with his spit. The more he pushed his tongue against your folds, the more the material would rub just right against you. It made you clench, panting at how much he is teasing you. He pulls away, blowing on your sensitive spot which only makes you whine.
“Awe what is it?” He chuckles, the vibrations barely hitting where you need him. “You want my tongue to play with you?”
His hand lets go of your thigh, fingers tracing the fabric before pulling it to the side. “Lucky for you, I love to play.”
He goes right in, mouth over your bud as he consumes your very being. Your hands shoot to his hair, not prepared for the onslaught of pleasure he is delivering. The swirls he is landing on his target is mind numbing, a tangible pressure that makes you want to curl in on yourself. 
“Fuck, sweetheart,” he groans, the sound vibrating right on your clit. It makes you buck your hips up, but his left arm presses you down to keep you secure. 
“I know you want more, but you are going to have to be patient. I’m not done tasting this sweet pussy. Fuck, you are so sweet.”
You feel one of his fingers near your hole, circling it teasingly before pushing in. His tongue is back on your nerves, mouthing covering it to add slight suction. Even with his big fingers, it’s not nearly enough. 
“Logan, please add another.” You say, emphasizing as you clench down on his single digit. 
He sucks a little harder, ripping a yelp from your throat. Still, he listens and inserts a second finger with the first. He goes in and out, drawing sighs from your lips as he builds you up. His mouth is going crazy, moving his lips with a vengeance. Your blood is hot, traveling down as your release starts to come to the surface.
You can’t stop clamping down on his fingers, your pussy having a mind of its own. He is pistoning them now, causing your fluids to make its way down your ass onto the comforter. The sounds coming from his handiwork edge you further, your release imminent. 
“Oh God, Logan! I’m cumming!” 
Big mistake on your part.
He pulls away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. A smug look appears on his face, and you have the urge to shove his face back into your aching cunt.
“Your first time cumming with me will be on my cock, sweetheart.”
He pulls your thong down your legs and moves you back to the front of the bed. He stands before you, making light work of removing his belt from the loops of his jeans. His jeans are next, pulling them down with his briefs. 
You don’t know what you expected. You weren’t surprised with how well endowed he was, not with the way he is built. But to see it in person is so much different from your imagination. The details that your mind didn’t conjure up, especially the vein that starts from his lower stomach to the tip of his cock. It makes you salivate, wanting to run your tongue along it. 
“You like what you see, darlin’?” He noticed you staring, but you have no shame. Not anymore.
“Yeah, want it in my mouth so bad.”
He walks over to you, his cock in your face. His hand goes to your head, stroking the baby hairs that are starting to stick to your temple. “As much as I would love that, I am dying to give you the fucking you deserve, sweetheart. However…” he brings your head up closer to his cock, your lips not even an inch away. “How about you get it nice and wet for me.”
You don’t have to be told twice. You work up a good amount of spit, letting it drip from your mouth onto his hard cock. You start to lick at the sides, spreading your saliva all over until he is covered. You are basically making out with his dick, your lips and tongue moving like you had when you were kissing him earlier. It isn’t until you get to that vein of his that you start to go wild, licking it up and down. 
Logan is groaning deeply, and pulls your head back, a string of saliva connecting before breaking apart. You hear him curse under his breath before crawling back onto the bed, his hands holding your face as he brings his lips to you. His kisses are slow this time, letting it sink in that this is happening; that you two are about to be connected. 
“You did such a good job. You are such a good girl.” He murmurs against your lips before sitting up. 
His dick is now sitting heavy on your mound, and the weight of it feels delicious. He taps it against your clit a few times, your hips thrusting up in kind. 
“You ready for me, sweetheart?” He lets his cock rut into your folds, thrusting up into your clit. “I think that sweet thing of yours is.”
“Give it to me, Lo. I need you so bad it hurts.” 
“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll take that pain away.” He promises.
And as promised, he places the tip right at your aching hole and pushes in slowly. Your jaw slacks, the pressure as he continues his descent much more intense than you anticipated. It’s been so long since you’ve given yourself to someone. It all feels new, and you are thankful; thankful that it's with him.
He is fully seated in you, and you can only describe it as euphoric. With the way he sits heavy in your cunt, filling you up completely, you can honestly say that this was meant to happen. Logan was meant to be with you in every single possible way imaginable. It’s the only explanation.
“How does it feel, baby?” Logan asks, hands rubbing up and down your thighs soothingly. 
“It feels,” you whimper, gripping down on him. “It feels so good, Lo.”
“Yeah? My cock makin’ you feel good, doll?” He groans, clearly being affected by your behavior. 
Before you can mutter a pathetic answer, your brain turning to mush, he shifts back. His cock slides out until the mushroom head is at your entrance, and then he slams back in; hard and slow. 
The constant back and forth of his cock has you shaking, his hard thrust knocking the air out of your lungs and the slow thrusts feeling oh so good. And with the way he is watching you, his face mimicking yours as he receives his own pleasure, is sending zaps of electricity to your cunt. It makes you grasp onto him hard as he gets you more worked up.
Logan sits up straighter, grabbing your right leg and bringing it up to his shoulder. His left hand keeps it steady as he speeds up slightly and presses gentle kisses to your ankle in the process. It lets him go deeper, kissing your cervix every time it goes in. The pressure feels incredible, and the more he speeds up, the more your cunt starts to spasm out of control. 
“That’s it, baby. You are taking me so well, like you were fucking made for me.” He growls out, biting your ankle. 
“God yes, Logan! I’m yours!” You cry out, him and his cock making you utterly delirious. “You were made for my pussy!”
“Fuck, you got a mouth on you.” He chides, his right hand going to your right breast.
He is squeezing your tit so tight; his hips are on autopilot with how fast he is taking you. Your hands don’t know where to go, going from gripping the fabric below to holding onto his wrist. He is putting you into a completely fucked out state, and you can’t get enough of that treatment. 
You can tell you are on the precipice of cumming. You are clenching on and off rapidly, no longer in control of your muscles. The sounds coming from your coupling, wet smacking echoes that are music to your ears. You can feel the telltale sensation of being overwhelmed, and you know you are now on the track of no return. 
“Logan, baby, I’m gonna cum!”
He snarls at you, a crazed look in his eyes as he slams into you. He lets go of your tit to grab your chin, keeping your eyes on his. “Do it, darlin’. Cum around my cock.”
You are over the edge in seconds, a silent scream taking over as you tremble and quake. Your pussy is convulsing like crazy, small gushes of liquid coming out. You see Logan look down at where you two are connected, and he is grinning like crazy.
“What a fucking sight. There isn’t one thing about you that isn’t pretty.”
You could sob at his words, especially with how overstimulated you are becoming. You work his cock, wanting him to cum inside of you. 
“Give me your cum, Logan. Fill me until I’m dripping.”
Your words must have triggered something because next thing you know he has let go of your leg and face and is falling onto his forearms with his mouth landing on yours. You hear the sound of his claws, completely unsheathed from his skin, causing him to bellow into your mouth, rutting like a madman which causes cum to leak out from your hole onto the bedding. 
He slows down, milking out the rest of his spend before stopping all together. He lets go of your lips gasping, face buried in your shoulder as he tries to calm down. Your hands go to his back, massaging the taut muscles as he shakes. 
“Fuck, Logan,” you sigh, catching your breath as you come back to earth. You feel so relaxed, even with your guts feeling completely rearranged.
You hear his claws sink back into his skin, and it is then that he pulls out, falling to the other side of the bed. His chest is going up and down with every heavy breath, and you can’t help but admire him like this. 
He turns his head over to you, his hand coming to grab the hand by your side. “C’mere, sweetheart.”
You make it over into his side, head laying on his chest as you both bask in the post-sex glow. You can’t help but smile at this turn of events, not expecting to have been in this position with Logan. But here you are, laying on his chest with his arms around you. 
You notice something in your peripherals and see splintering from the headboard of your bed. There are six holes in the wood, and it sends you into a laughing fit, a euphoric glaze covering your entire body. 
“What’s so funny?” He asks gruffly, pulling you into side as you continue to laugh.
“Your claws pierced my headboard.”
You see him glance back, and you see him sigh, relaxing more into the mattress. “I’ll fix it up for you, darlin’. I’m sorry about that.”
“No need to say sorry.” You snuggle your face into his skin, breathing in his natural musk as you relax more into him. “I just can’t believe we did that, but I’m glad it did.”
“I can say the same.” He murmurs, stroking your hair gently. “Seriously, I gotta know, did you see this coming?”
You shift up, going to lay your arms across his chest only for you to rest on them. You look into his eyes and the need in them is still there, but not in the way they were before. They were searching, looking for any confirmation that what you both just did truly meant more. It makes him look vulnerable, something he rarely shows. It makes you smile at the prospect of him opening up even more. 
“Not until today. It’s strange now that I think about it.”
“And why is that?”
“I never saw you coming, I guess. Even when it is clear as day how you felt about me, I never got anything that told me it was real. I didn’t want to potentially screw anything up between us.”
He hums, a look of contemplation on his face before taking a hand and rubbing his face, a long sigh coming out in the process. “I suppose that’s my fault.”
You can’t help but look confused. His fault? “Why do you say that?”
“I haven’t been fully honest, but ever since I came here, no matter how welcomed and appreciated I am here, I have contemplated leaving.” His hand leaves his face to go behind your neck, lightly scratching the skin at the nape before continuing. “I’ve been alone for a long time. Having a family has never been in the books for me. It is easier to not let people in.”
“So, that’s why I couldn’t see you coming. You hadn’t made up your mind?”
“It’s possible, but it’s just a theory.”
“But, if that’s the case, have you made your mind up?” You start rubbing his chest with your palm, feeling his heart pulse slowly. You are confident you know the answer now, but you want to hear him say it.
He grunts in laughter, shaking his head slightly before letting his fingers curl around the back of your neck. “I think you know the answer, princess. But if you really want to know, come up here.”
You push yourself from him, moving so you are straddling his torso. He brings his hands to your face once more, pulling you down so you are face to face with him. He kisses you, slowly initiating intimacy with his lips. He isn’t saying anything, but you can feel what he is saying through the act alone. 
“I can’t close myself off from you,” he says between kisses. “And I don’t want to. Especially if you’ll have me.”
“I think you already know the answer to that, Lo.”
“Still, I wanna hear you say it.”
You pull away so you can look into his eyes, giving him all the sincerity you can muster. “I love you, and I want you to stand by me.”
He smiles teeth and all, and pulls you back down, kissing all over your face causing you to squeal. “Hmm I love you too, sweetheart. Always have.”
You both stay like that for a while, basking in each other's company in post-coital ecstasy by continuing to taste one another. Another thought came over you, and you can’t help but laugh again.
“If I had known sex would make you like this, I would have made a move a long time ago.” Logan jokes, breathing them in. 
“I’m sorry, but I’m laughing because it took me taking your cigars hostage to do it.”
Logan throws his head back, chuckling at what you presume is the same thing you are laughing about.
“Speaking of those cigars, can you grab them for me?”
You perk up, pushing away from him to lean over to your side of the bed. Your fingers stretch for the book, getting a grasp on it before getting settled back with Logan. He pulls you in quickly, hurdling you into his side. You see he has his lighter ready, which he must have grabbed while you were getting his cigars.
“You gonna smoke one?”
He hums, taking one out. “I only smoke these on special occasions. I think this qualifies.”
He carefully unsheathes a claw, cutting the end before it sinks back under his skin. He flickers the lighter, letting the bright flame linger on the end to get a good burn going. He then lays back, pulling you even closer into his side, before taking his first puff. 
You smile, laying your head against him as you let your eyes drift closed. You feel yourself drifting away, the smell of his cigar and the sound of his pulse lulling you to a deep sleep; a sleep with dreams that you hope feel like déjà vu in the near future.
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virtualgirladvance · 3 months
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Hi, my name is Lan I'm a 30yo Australian transfem currently living with family. A lot of you know me from this blog or my sideblog , @virtualgirlafterdark , where I'm a funny little robot girl. Unfortunately it's getting harder and harder for me to be that kind of person, and it's affecting both myself IRL (depression, anxiety, isolation, etc) and who I am here. I don't want to beg or take advantage of anyone, but I could really use some help.
Ever since I moved back in with my family this year after a tough breakup and a couple hospital stays, things have gone from bad to worse and I'm worried about my safety and future here. Everyday I'm stuck with abusive people who don't treat me as human, and the threat of violence keeps growing. Today somebody punched a hole in a door, so now we just have a door with a hole in it. I don't know how much longer I can stay here, and I've been looking for a job but haven't found anything due to how remote I am. My disability payments aren't even enough to live in a shared house, let alone by myself, which would be ideal and safer.
If you enjoy my content you can tip me here and I'll be making a fansly/OF soon and continuing to stream on Twitch and potentially other places. I want to do more, but right now it's just so hard because of my environment. I'm in between meds as well which definitely isn't helping and I'm super overwhelmed and having trouble right now.
Please consider helping by reblogging or donating to my Ko-fi
Current goal is $2500 to cover a rental deposit and move somewhere I'll be safe and able to work from.
Thank you so much for reading, I really appreciate it.
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