#positive events

[enetarch-working-w-adhd]

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria or RSD for short is a common disease associated w ADHD. It was thought to occure due to the amount of negative messages we recieved growing up because of our ADHD attributes.

Examples messages from adult figures included ..

.. sit still

.. stop day dreaming

.. if only your tried harder

.. if you can play this game, you fan do this

.. just do the thing

.. stop getting all emotional

These messages are though to reinforced the belief that asking for help will always be turned down, and worse ridiculed.

Belief or physiological, there is a way to get around RSD, which relies on simple project management risk assessment techniques.

1 .. determine if your project will need others help?

2 .. determine if there is another way to do part if this project?

3 .. determine who has done this before.

Then

1 .. do this for yourself !

2 .. remove anyone who will say NO!

3 .. find people who already want to help you do this.

4 .. find advocates and cheerleaders

5 .. reframe the NO! into an ADHD challenge.

6 .. find a buddy who just sits w you while you do the thing.

There is nothing more motivational than an ADHD Challenge. .. You think i cant do this, watch me! .. Not only will you scale that mountain, but you will find 10 ways to scale the mountian, and write an article on the best way you found to do it.

[4ft10tvlandfangirl]

'Despite all the pain and grief Gaza lights up to welcome Ramadan'

[fixing-bad-posts]

I guarantee kink is part of pride, we need kink at pride.

[rileyclaw]

you know how everything is like a hundred times funnier when you're not allowed to laugh??

[positivelyqueer]

if you feel like you’re ‘getting in the way’ as a mobility aid user, particularly with larger aids like wheelchairs, rollators/walkers, gait trainers and service dogs, That Is A Fault Of The Space (and potentially the people), not of you. You deserve all the space you take up and more.

[lylahammar]

Banner illustration for NAAFA by Bats Langley

Hey everyone!! Did you know that this August is the third annual Fat Liberation Month? The month is organized by NAAFA (National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance), and it's something I didn't know about until I randomly wondered earlier this year if we have a month for our movement, and looked it up. I've never seen anyone talk about it, so I want to change that!!

Through the month of August, I'm going to be drawing lots of fat art, and I would encourage any artists who see this post to do the same. Draw body types you've never tried drawing before! Draw bodies that are bigger than society's "acceptable" level of fatness! Use references (fatphotoref, Morpho Fat and Skin Folds, my own Pinterest reference board)! Perhaps even draw yourself with complete honesty, without trimming out the parts of yourself that make you self conscious, to help better understand and accept your body!

If you participate in this event, please tag your fat art with #Fat Liberation Month, so that I can see and share your work. Have fun and help spread the visibility for this really cool and underrepresented event! 🎉✨

[electoons]

I love the college of winterhold. everyone there is casually deranged and there's like an alarming number of students and staff who threaten you immediately when they meet you. it's always one of the first questlines I do. which makes it even funnier when you get made the arch-mage of the college. I'm level 12 and got through this questline knowing exactly 3 spells. what do you mean you want me to lead the college. this school CANNOT be an accredited institution

[thestrangestthlng]

🎖️Great Loves🎖️

Maddie's monologue from Buck, Actually | 9-1-1 | S2 E8

[humans-are-tasty]

crochawk exchange for a crochawker

[bucktommypositivityweek]

welcome to bucktommy positivity week!!

FRIDAY AUGUST 16TH - THURSDAY AUGUST 22ND~

we feel like this fandom really needs a burst of positivity right now, and nothing does that like a fic/fan creation event!! we hope this will encourage people to write fics/write short drabbles/make art/spread thoughts about the daily prompts, and keep some positive energy flowing in the fandom

• tldr this is one week of daily prompts for fics, art, gifs, metas, headcanon posts, etc, all related to celebrating positive things in bucktommy's relationship! there are absolutely no rules on what you can create, how big/small it can be, or anything like that, as long as it's a good-faith bucktommy work

• we will be posting the full list of prompts tomorrow (august 14th). then each day will focus on one prompt (though of course, late submissions are completely fine!)

• we know this is last-minute compared to a lot of weekly prompt events, but i think many people will recognise why a lot of us were feeling like we wanted something to channel some positive creative energy into right now!! and hope others will do the same!

some more points below the cut

• we will reblog all the creations we are tagged in, and at the end of the event, we will be also collating any fics shared into a masterlist. we hope this will also be able to act as effectively a rec-list for those who are feeling worried about opening unknown fics on ao3 right now (and we will, of course, be triple-checking there are no trolls)

• just make sure you @ tag us when you post your creation on tumblr so we can reblog it and add it to the list!

• our askbox is open if you have any questions or suggestions :) however, this is really less of an event than an encouragement for people to enjoy some positive creations during this rocky hiatus time, so please don't feel you need to stress about anything related to contributing!

[intersexcat-tboy]

Happy pride story 💛💜💛

I went to pride this weekend and for the first time in my life, after attending around 10 prides, saw actual intersex flags there.

Prior, I had only seen one tiny dime sized pin saying "this is me". But last weekend, I saw one normal sized flag on the back of a truck with a bunch others, which was a huge relief as I hadn't seen it anywhere. Like at all. The progress flag was the closest I'd see. Usually I only see intersex included on online infographs that list many others (we need to bring those back bc the baby queers don't know what the bear flag is).

Over a million people and I never saw anyone else flying our colors. But I did see this one booth, oh this one beautiful booth out of over 200, this one. This one had those little stick intersex flags (pictured below). I almost started crying. It was a hospital. They had 90% carpenter flags, n the rest were the striped one. I thanked them for acknowledging us and for being the first place that I could get a flag from 🥰 They told me to take two flags, one as a back up! I thanked them again I wanted to cry I was so psyched

The next day, I went to another pride. Small, but alright! Someone at the trans mutual aid booth asked me if I had gotten my intersex flag (showing from my crutch bag) at that event, or if I brought it in. I said I had just gotten it yesterday! He said something like "dang, bc my bf's been looking for things like flags or merch, it's so hard to find ):" before the sentence was finished, I was already pulling out my second one and handed it over. I could really see the bf's expression bc he was a bit too far away but he sounded very thankful 🥳 they also complimented my intersex crop (:

I decided to actually buy a small set of 10 flags, I'm going to another large pride this weekend so I'm planning to hand them out 💖 (car ears + forearm crutches, maybe you'll see me!)

[enetarch-working-w-adhd]

Suceeding w Adult ADHD

While reading the book, I marked various paragraphs of interest and made several notes in the margins. Where I'm quoting the author, I will put those comments in quotes. My comments will follow.

Page 18 .. "Every day, all of us encouter and engage in hundreds, if not thousands, of events, small and large. And, every day we have a choice as to how we are going to interpret each of those events. How we choose to think about these events impacts whether we feel positively or negatively toward ourselves and others."

This is a classic DSM mistake most therapists make about ADHD, that Dr. Barkley talks about in his video "30 things you need to know about ADHD", available on YouTube. The mistake, is that the author ignores how these events trigger an emotional response. The reason why the DSM doesn't like the emotional classification with ADHD is that you can't quantify an emotion .. Happy, Sad, Upset, Extatic .. But, you can quantify 3 specific types of emotional responses .. positive, neutral, and negative .. When therapists and authors ignore these 3 emotional responses to events, tasks, inner monologue, thoughts, and memories, they create extremely long winded explanations on why ADHDrs do things they do, and provide NT based tips and tricks - which are next to useless.

So, again positive, neutral, negative emotional responses to events .. (+), (o), and (-) .. respectively. ADHDrs emotional states swing per event. An external event can kick an ADHDr into a positive mood or negative mood. I will demonstrate this repeatedly as I discuss the various topics she brings up.

Page 20 .. "Thinking errors of ADHDrs". I'm not going to go into the errors here, but I'm going to use them as an example of to describe ADHD Negative Thought Storms. ADHDrs ignore the good things that occur to them, and focus on "things that are going wrong or are negative about a given situation rather than what is right or going well." The Negative (-) Thought Storm arises when a negative (-) event happens, and triggers negative thoughts, memories, and inner monologue. ADHDrs not trained to recognize this event, are also not trained how to exit it, by using 1 single positive (+) external event. Thus, the other 6 categories described on page 21 and 22 are must manifestations of a Negative (-) Thought Storm.

Page 23 .. "Now that you have gained some awareness and insight into your destructie thought patterns, it's important that you learn how to challenge or reframe them. Remember, positive thoughts leads to positive feelings, positive behavior, …" Again, the author neglects to show how a physical external event triggers the positive thoughts, feelings, inner monologue, and memories.

Page 50 .. Increasing your Motivation .. "Because we know the adult ADHD brain will seek out and work toward immediate rewards (and avoid immediate penalties), this idea should be used to help individuals power through less stimulating or emotionally challenging taks that will ultimately help them reach their goals."

Let me describe a better way to motivate an ADHDr. Every taks you have to do, is an event. Every time you think about it, it's an event. Does it cause a positive (+), neutral (o), or negative (-) emotional response. Another way you can figure this out is to draw an emoji (smiley face). Or, select one from your phones keyboard of emojis. Does the emoji represent a happy, sad, or neutral character. If it's a happy character, do the task. If it's a sad character, do the task later. it's that simple.

Now, how do you motivate someone to do a hard task that makes them emotionally sad or triggers negative (-) emotional response .. find ways to make the task generate positive (+) emotional responses. This may mean you need to reframe the task. Or, you need to invite someone over to help with the task. Or, maybe you need to do a bunch of smaller positive (+) tasks to get into a "Can Do!" attitude. These are just 3 ways to generative motivation, that actually work for ADHDrs.

Page 96 .. The author suggests creating a list of your daily routine with average times to complete each part of the routine. This is a good idea as long as it generates positive (+) emotional responses. I would extend this idea further to doing a specific task where people routinely ask you .. "So, how long will that take?" If you time how long it takes you to do something, you will be able to answer confidently, vs shrugging and trying to guesstimate your answer on sketchy knowledge of your past work habits.

In addition to using a tasks list, I would include a circle for an emoji per task. If you want to know how to you feel about doing a task, draw the emoji. Boogie boards or electronic note pads are great for this, because you can erase the emoji and redarw it, each time you see the task.

Page 100 .. do not break your day into 15 min or hourly segments, instead give yourself 10 to 15 spots for appointments on a sheet of paper for that particular day. The reason why, is ADHDrs with OCD will constantly fiddle with the calendar defeating the purpose of the calendar, which is to remind you of appointments. This will require you to build your own paper calendar, and I recommend using a 3 ring binder and self designed sheets that suite your purpose. (maybe some day I'll publish all of my templates.)

Again, in your calendar, only write down the appointments you have for that day, and any Todo's you need to get done. I also create a seperate sheet for all the Todo's that I have to do, so that if I have free time, or am board, or just want to remember something, it gets put there.

Page 111 .. Chapter 6 - Enhancing Social Relationships .. I have no notes on this chapter, but I'm going to say this in general .. What works for an ADHDr, works for NTs as well. If you like positive events, so do NTs. If you generate positive events for an NT, you will have a good relationship with an NT. The converse it true as well. If an NT is annoying you (negative event) you won't want to be around them anymore.

Page 122 .. Better Communication Skills .. here is my motto for speaking to people, "5 Words or Less!" Communicate what you want to say in 5 words or less. Or, be as brief as you can.

Something else that popped up while writing this is .. "You don't have to tell someone the whole truth!" What this means is that while there is a whole story to be told about a true event, you only need to tell the person what they need to know about that true event.

Page 135 .. Chapter 7 - Organize Your Space .. Let me just say .. out of site, out of mind. If you can use clear pastic containers to organize everything into, and elfa shelving to store it on. (This is an OCD Hack) And, use glass cupboard doors in your kitchen! Things can't hide that easily when you can see them.

The other thing i will say about this chapter is that ADHDrs have projects. So, keeping various projects in containers will help you remember what you were doing, and where you were in doing it. I have shelves with labeled 3 ring binders displaying all the projects I'm working on. As I have a thought or idea, I take a sheet of paper, write down the idea and put it in the binder. When the binder is full, it's time to write a book.

Note, this concept can also be applied to email and blogs. Do you find yourself finding wonderful articles that, if saved, would enhance something you're working on. Send it to yourself in an email and later store it in a folder, or post it to a blog. Not only does the blog save it, but others can see your progress and comment on it.

Page 157 .. Chapter 8 - Effective Study Skills .. The material is good here, there are a few things I would add, and an entire subject that I would like the author to research. The first thing that I would add is to use a 3 ring binder to write down topics. While ADHDrs lack skills to know how to capture class notes and study properly, creating their own book on the subject is actually a helpful way for them to capture what is important in the class and study. Each topic would be written like an article that focuses on a specific aspect of the instruction and how the ADHDr would have taught the it. This does a lot of simple things really fast .. but most importantly .. it helps the ADHD see where their gaps in understanding are. If they can't explain the topic, they need to fill that gap to continue building knowledge on the topic.

The area that I would like the author to research and expound on is math. Not just simple addition and subtraction that is taught in K12 schools, but higher math in colleges for engineers, mathematicians, statisticians, and physicists. You see, Math is not processed in the same place that language is. In fact, where most ADHDrs get lots is when trying to memorize relationships between variables (equations). They can't see the same relationship when written with different variables, because the language center of their brain has stored the equation as a picture. If you think that's odd, you're not alone. But, language is processed as a picture not as individual letters. Look at the various type fonts you have access to, each font creates a new picture of the word. (FYI .. psychologists have proven both concepts are true .. language as pictures, and math and language are processed in different parts of the brain.) In fact, math is a guessing game of .. "Am I right?" .. the more times you get the math answer right, the more confident you become in using it as the answer. Does 1 + 1 = 2? Is 2 - 1 = 1? What about - 2 + 1 = -1? Are all these equations saying the same thing?

Remember, ADHDrs have to externalize everything. And, we work best when we are generating positive events (+). So, listen to music that makes you happy, watch a movie that makes you happy, and keep your professor on speed dial, or someone else who knows the subject matter who can help when you get stuck. Nothing will suck your time away faster than a negative event (-).

Page 187 .. Chapter 9 - Job Satisfaction .. I skipped this chapter. But I will impart some wisdom I've found concerning this subject. I do keep a blog on "Working with ADHD" after all. So, as mentioned above concerning friendships .. positive events (+) make for better working relationships. Negative events (-) will make you hate the job. There is a difference bewteen management and leadership. Managers track metrics.. training, productivity, performance, and quality .. Leaders follow the definition of leadership .. Guiding Intent w/Integrity .. (Mind you there are 1000's of styles of leadership ask described by this definition, not all are positive). A good leader and manager will use Project Management 101 .. Manage Expectations .. and the 2nd law of Project Management .. Mind the Gap! .. (I spoke about this earlier in the chapter concerning education.)

A good community is one that supports each other. A bad community is one where people are decisive. (Aka, they create constant tormoil and back stabbing between department and team members.)

Overall, I think the book provides a lot of good information. I just wish it were re-organized from the perspective of how positive (+), neutral (o), and negative (-) events cause respective emotional responses that cause you to seek out or avoid things. I also wish more ADHD coaches and therapists helped ADHDrs to look at life from this perspective as well. For me, I have started curating a constant stream of positive events. When a negative event crops up, I can easily catch it and push it out. When I get depressed .. lost in an ADHDrs Negative Thought Storm .. It has been hard, because I keep trying positive events (+) until I finally get out.

[crowskullls]

Thinking about Minute’s insane morals and how he doesn’t have a single genuinely bad bone in his body. He gets confused when he’s betrayed, he begs for explanations when people are cruel. He would rather make amends than hold onto grudges. He forgives and forgets. He teams with the same guy (Wemmbu) that’s betrayed him countless of times, and still trusts him anyways. Even if a bit reluctant at first. Even if he knows he’ll still end up betrayed.

Like this guy has PROBLEMS. He so morally… Good. He can stoop down to other people’s level, he can play dirty, he can be intimidating. He doesn’t really let himself get walked all over. But he’d MUCH rather just hang out and have peace. He gets upset when people are negative because he’s just SO optimistic. He always has to see the Good side of things, even when it’s a horrendous situation.

Even when he has reasons to be angry and upset and spiteful, he still chooses to hold his head high and STICK to his morals. He’s Stubborn. He tries so hard to see Why people are evil and hurtful, but he can’t personally understand. He needs to be the hero. He needs to save others. Because who else is going to do it? Who else has the resources, the strength, the backbone, the reputation? He gives items out to people with no expectation for reimbursement. He’s always saving other server members, even his enemies, from tricky situations.

He tries hard to remain all mysterious and brooding. He tries to seem calm and collected. But he wears his heart on his sleeve. You can hear every emotion in his voice, in the glint in his eyes. The way his smile upturns when he finds something amusing, or how his eyebrows furrow when he’s trying to piece something together. He’s an incredibly emotional guy, and he’s not good at hiding it. He’s notoriously a bad liar. He gives himself away every time he opens his mouth. It’s WHY he’s so genuine, so easy to trust.

It’s easy to get under his skin, but he still holds his ground. Because he has to. Because the world is cruel and brutal, and everyone is out to get him. Killing is second nature on most SMPs, especially on Lifesteal. But he can defend himself. Most other people can’t. He’s paranoid, and watches events from the sidelines (even if it annoys other players.) He always has extra food and fireworks to give out. Despite covering himself in dark colors, and hiding from large groups, he’s still looking out for others. He’s still the beacon of hope people need. He’s so annoyingly optimistic and cheerful that it’s sickening to most. He refuses to let himself become bitter and pessimistic.

Anyways bro thinks he’s Batman.

[echosong971]

The Petrification Disease is a nasty thing...

[aborddelimpala]

Supernatural Week 2024 👻

From monday, september 9th to friday september 13th, join me to celebrate our beloved show ! Tag your posts #SPNWEEK

Schedule

Sept 9th - Iconic Supernatural line(s)/quote(s)

Sept 10th - Fav’ Sam & Dean moment(s)

Sept 11th - Classic SPN : Monster of the week episode(s)

Sept 12th - Team Free Will

Sept 13th - Supernatural day ! Fav’ Supernatural episode(s)

Note : this event is ship friendly 😉

[plaquerat]

I'm going to be honest I'm still kind of fucked up over being called a freak for headcanoning copia as transfem. It's good to know what's actual canon and what's not (I love to learn and find sources) but. Like.

We're entering a point where now people are just. Being attacked for having the "wrong" heacanons. People are getting mad if Primo isn't bald. People are saying it's fatphobic for Cumulus to be strong and fat at the same time. People have explicitly vagued me saying it's cool for Copia to be a trans man but a trans woman headcanon is "disrespecting a cis man." Do you hear yourself? Do you like attacking people because you have nothing better to do? Life is a fucking nightmare for so many people and you want to tear others down for doing their interest differently than you? God, a while back someone was shitting on people for being proud they wrote 1000 words because to them that wasn't a lot. Do you want to be that? Do you want to drive away potential friends and connections because they fucking. Make Terzo right handed instead of left handed? It's ridiculous. People are goung to have different readings. People are going to have different things they find meaning in. I barely do anything with ghouls right now because every time I do something with Cumulus people are fucking weirdos toward me.

We have to be kind. We have to build each other up. If you don't like what someone does that's fine but you don't need to be a #hater just because That's What We Do Online these days. Stop it. Be an adult and learn compassion and understanding. See why someone thinks about a character the way they do instead of treating your interpretaion as the only one. You and I and everyone else will be so much happier.