#posting this here bc i need it said out loud but i cannot post in my vanilla blog where people from irl know me

[bellysoupset]

venting.

there are very few things as alienating as having your friend texting about their upcoming plans to move to europe, all the while you're texting the social worker about your own possible cancer diagnosis at 25ish years old.

the flip between emotion A and B is so insane, its giving me whiplash.

[izzy-b-hands]

A moth has kicked me out of my room for the night, but i have the tv downstairs that i can leave on to fall asleep to and that's not so bad

[licorice-tea]

Young And Dumb.

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x reader

Content: Strawhat reader, gender neutral reader, reader is flirty and bold, cursing, allusions to sex and a threesome, no actual sexual content!!!, pining, kissing 🤭, misunderstandings/ miscommunication, a little bit of arguing, hurt/comfort <3

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: kind of been in a writing slump these past few days, so i just wanted to write and post something, you know? it’s weird bc i have a ton of wips in my drafts, but none of them really felt finished, so i did this whole thing in maybe 2 hours? hopefully it’s enough to pull me out of my little funk so i can get back to posting more regularly! anyway, enjoy!

Law respects you. He respects your choices, your independence from him, even your crew that he doesn’t always like personally. But one thing he absolutely cannot stand is when you do things like this.

The first thing he hears upon walking up to the deck is giggling. Bothersome, but not too loud or unusual that it throws off his routine. Besides; he’s sure his crew must be glad to be above the waves for once, and happy to have the company of the Straw Hats as well. The two crews had wound up with their ships anchored next to each other in the middle of the sea, and agreed to stay there before their courses diverged once again.

He sees you talking to Penguin and Shachi- the source of said laughter. But, Law does a double take when you let out a shriek of laughter. Then he realizes just how closely the two of them are standing to you. You’re not even on the same crew as them, but you look real cozy with Penguin’s hand around your waist and Shachi’s on your shoulder. Of course, he knows your friendliness can border on flirtation (and desperately wants to be on the receiving end of that flirting right now instead of his crew members) but that logic does nothing to calm him.

Law’s perpetual frown turns into a full on scowl as he marches over to the trio you’ve formed. “Penguin! Shachi! Have you…” he loses his train of thought when you give him a quizzical expression, and realizes there is nothing that they haven’t already done. “Your chores. Below deck.”

“Sure have, captain!”

“Yes, captain!”

All three of you look at him expectantly, unsure of why he’s still standing before you. “Are you ok, Law?”

“Ok?” No he wasn’t fucking ok. How could he be when two of his closest friends were throwing themselves at you, and you were letting them? They didn’t even know how he felt for you- no one does- but still. This was just too much for him.

“I need to speak to you, y/n-ya.”

With regard for his serious tone and expression, you wriggle out from between your two friends and follow Law all the way to his office. When you get there and he finally shuts the door, you don’t sit.

Instead you approach him, “Is something wrong? You seemed really upset.”

He looks down at you with a frown. You can tell he’s contemplating his next words before answering, “…Everything is fine.”

“Oh? Ok, so… why are we here then?”

Law breathes deeply, and exhales in a huff. “I need to tell you something.”

“Is it… serious? You’re being kind of weird, Law.”

“I am not.”

“Hm, well, no; you are. But what’s up?”

“I-“ he stops himself and sighs again before continuing. “So dramatic,” you think to yourself. “You shouldn’t get so close to Penguin and Shachi.”

You blink a few times, shocked. He could either be confessing his overwhelming love for you (which you highly doubted, Law had never seemed to reciprocate your affections for him) or giving you some spiel about inappropriate relationships. “Excuse me?”

“They do this kind of thing all the time, y/n-ya; messing around with random women and men, and-“

“And what, Law? I’m an adult, for fucks sake, I don’t need anyone telling me what to do.”

“You don’t understand, they- they want something from you.”

“I know damn well you’re not lecturing me on my sex life right now, Trafalgar Law.”

His face gets hot just from the thought of it. “I am not! But you can’t-“

“Yes, Law, I can. I’m not going to, wasn’t even planning on it; all I did was flirt with them. But believe me when I say I can.”

He’s silent, with an expression akin to that of a bewildered fish. Then it morphs into more of a frown. “I-“

“Don’t even continue with that thought, because you’ve already managed to piss me off beyond belief. Just- just get out of my way.” You step around him and fling open the door to his office before storming off.

That evening, the two crews gather on the deck of the Thousand Sunny for a feast. You find an empty seat, and soon enough Penguin and Shachi place themselves on either side of you.

“Heyyyy y/n.” The first greets you with a sort of awkward, nervous cadence.

“Hey guys, sorry I left without saying bye earlier.”

“Oh it’s fine, you’re good…”

“We’re sorry too.”

This makes you quirk an eyebrow in confusion and look side to side at either of them. “Why would you be sorry?”

They shoot a quick glance at each other, but it’s very obvious because they have to look across you to do so.

“Did you know that, well… Law sort of…”

“He has feeling for you. Big time.”

You almost spit out your drink. “What? Oh, ok, real funny guys-“

“No, no we’re serious!”

“Yeah! You should hear the way he talks about you-“

“All good things, of course, it’d be hard not to- But anyway he was never going to tell you because he doesn’t think you’re interested, blah blah blah-“

“Which is why we decided to try and make him jealous!”

“…I’m so confused right now. No, not even confused just… surprised?”

“Don’t blame yourself, Captain’s hard to read sometimes.”

“Good thing we figured it out for you, right?” Shachi elbows your side, clearly pleased with himself.

“Uh huh...”

Penguin continues “Anyway, we thought it worked when he said he needed to talk to you earlier, but when you came back you seemed sort of upset.”

“Yeah, well he was kind of acting like a dick.”

He sighs, “Law means well, I swear. He’s just… he’s not the best with matters of the heart.”

“That’s ironic.”

Shachi leans over you to address his friend. “Not the best? C’mon man, he has zero experience.”

“Shh! We want y/n to feel for him, not pity him.”

You laugh, “Right, so… what should I do?”

“Do you like him back?” Such a childish way of saying it.. but you do. And you had, for a while, but you’d never acted on your feelings because he’d never seem to like you as anything other than a friend. Until earlier today, when his jealously led him to say some kind of rude things to you. It was no excuse, but it explained why he’d acted the way he did.

You smile softly and look down. “I do.”

“Then go talk to him!”

“Yeah, go talk to him y/n!”

The two men excitedly get you up out of your seat and (gently) push you toward where Law is leaning on the railing of the deck. You laugh and go along with it- if what they were saying is true, what could be the harm in being honest about your own feelings with him?

You walk briskly toward Law, but with purpose, And when you stop in front of him, he looks up from his cup like a deer in headlights.

He quietly greets you with a nod. “…Y/n-ya.”

“Law. Can we talk?”

He nods and follows you to the starboard side of the deck, far enough from where the dinner and light music is. You come to a stop and turn to face him.

“You know, I’ve been talking to Penguin and Shachi…”

Law deadpans, still annoyed about how they were all over you earlier. “Mhm.”

“And they told me something about you. I didn’t really believe it, at first, because you never… Well you never acted like you do, but-“

“Like I what?”

“Like you… have feelings for me?”

“Shit.” He was going to kill them after this. Or at the very least, make sure they had the worst of the chores on the Polar Tang for the foreseeable future. “They… They told you that?”

“Yes, but-“ Law turns and tries to walk off with his fists clenched, before you stop and grab one of his wrists. “I feel the same way, Law. If it’s true, of course.“

“It is.”

You smile. “If you were jealous earlier, you could’ve just said so. Then I wouldn’t have gotten angry with you.”

“You’re not interested in them?”

“No, we’re just friends… But I didn’t think you were interested in me, either, so I didn’t see the harm in flirting.”

Law shrugs, looking down at his shoes. You’ve never seen him so shy. “Well, I didn’t think you felt the same way, so I never, uh, confessed.”

“Well,” you take a step closer, and risk your chances by gently lifting his chin with one hand. “I do.”

Law’s eyes roam over your face, mouth gaping as he searches for his next words. He wants to say something suave and impressive, to take back control of the situation when you so clearly have him wrapped around your finger. However, he comes up with nothing, and decides to try something new instead. Maybe your boldness has simply inspired him to suddenly come up with this master plan, or maybe he just can’t think of anything else with you standing so close; but he kisses you.

It’s slow and hesitant for the first few seconds- you think he’s probably new to this by the way he lips press into yours forcefully and without much intention. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer, guiding him to sink his lips into yours rather than have them press flat against each other. He follows suit, then pulls away for a quick breath before going right back for you. He sighs into the kiss this time, and your lips part ever so slightly. He takes this as opportunity try and go a little further- his tongue passes in the slit between your lips and you open them further to let him. What had started off as a small kiss quickly becomes a less than innocent make out session. Law is bold with it, too; nipping at your lips and causing you to gasp so that he can take you by surprise and kiss you that much more deeply (on more than one occasion.) You can both practically feel the tension built up over months of pining after each other dissipating.

At long last you pull away, for fear your mouth will go numb if you let him bite your lips one more time.

And Law asks, slightly panting; “How was that?”

You laugh, genuinely surprised that he’s concerned about his performance in what might’ve been was the best kiss of your life. “Perfect, Law. Just perfect.”

[bonnibuckets]

— party boyfriend | leon kennedy

700 follower special!!

pairing: bbf leon x afab reader

warnings: smut! brother best friend leon, a little ooc leon, party setting, mentions of SA!, mention of alcohol!, pet names, degradation, praise, oral (m receiving), size kink, rough, almost getting caught, unprotected sex :0, creampie, public sex, leon saying no and stop a few times

synopsis: you get grabbed on at a party and leon is there to comfort you

wc: 2.9k+

note: this poll won so y’all get smut but for the ppl who wanted fluff I PROMISE NEXT FIC WILL BE!! this is also based on this audio, so credit to them for this🙏 (i didnt follow it down exactly to a t but it comes close) also now finishing this i feel guilty posting this bc it’s not 100% original but i hope y’all like it nonetheless

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

You heard the music blaring in the house and your head was slightly dizzy. You walked through the hallway and felt someone’s hand grab your ass. You immediately turned and slapped the hand away— some random creep “Got a fat ass” he smirked, and you felt sick to your stomach “fuck off” you huffed.

You wanted to punch him in the face, but you opted to just walk out of the house to get some fresh air to escape. You heard the creeps' insults as you walked away, but you ignored them. You opened the door and walked down the steps, you didn’t know what to do so you called your brother's best friend— Leon who is also at this stupid party.

“Hey?” you heard the ambiance of the party and could barely hear Leon, “Can you meet me outside please?” “What? Okay yeah, I’ll be there” He gruffed before hanging up. It took a few minutes before you heard the door open and close “What, what’s up?” Leon said a little annoyed— probably because you ruined his fun but you didn’t care right now.

“I need to talk to you,” you said and Leon rolled his eyes “I’m pretty sure I can guess what this is about, last time we came to one of these we kissed” You shook your head trying to explain but Leon cut you off “sure it happened I was drunk you were drunk, shouldn’t have been but we kissed” you felt a little angry at the fact he wouldn’t let you speak but you sighed and continued to listen.

“It happened, I get it okay you know, but I’m friends with your brother I’m not doing that again” you groan “No, it’s not about that! Some guy fucking grabbed on me,” you said frustrated. “Oh…gross, who was he?” “I don't know some fucking creep,” you said looking down.

“Well I'm sorry, just don't tell your brother, though he’ll never let you come to another one of these again” he chuckles and you raise an eyebrow at that, why would he care? “Why not?” you joked “Because you’re cool to hang out with I guess,” Leon said a little awkwardly, “So why did you drag me out here?” he questioned and you felt your cheeks burn.

“I don't know I was thinking maybe if the guy saw you with me he’d leave me alone” You shrugged now feeling a little stupid admitting your plan out loud. “Oh, so now if he gets hella trashed he’ll come to beat me up?” he laughed, “No!” you said panicking a little as Leon shook his head “Nah just saying you know telling you how it feels” you groan and roll your eyes.

“I’m just messing, it’s cool we can stay out here for a little while until you want to go back inside and drink or dance,” he said sitting on the steps and you followed. “Can we drink together?” you asked smiling, “No absolutely not, we cannot drink and dance together” he argued and you felt a little hurt but you scooted closer, “What are you doing?” he said a little shocked you ignored him and leaned your head on his shoulder.

He groaned “Fine. You can lean on me to “sell” the image I guess” You smirked and felt his warmth “Put your arm around me, it’ll sell it more” you teased wanting more. Leon cocked an eyebrow “No, I am not doing that” You frowned and begged “Pleaseeee?” he rolled his eyes. “Don’t frown at me from down there” he laughed.

You gasped “Down there?!” I’m not that fucking short asshole. “Yes down there” he laughed “You have to look up at me when talking, when we kissed I had to lay on the floor-“ you cut him off and punched his arm. “Ouch- okay okay” he laughed before wrapping an arm around you, “just 1 arm okay, I gotta look cool” he smiled.

“What if I want to get laid tonight, you’d ruin the chance” you laughed, he couldn’t be serious “Like someone would want to” he looked a little offended “Um yeah some girl totally would” he rolled his eyes.

You always had a little crush on Leon but you never acted on those feelings fully, the only time you did was once when drunk and Leon doesn’t count it. This time was different. You both were sober and you felt a little confident, you wanted him so you teased him.

“Why don’t we?” He looked at you like you were crazy. “Um, because I’ve known your brother for my whole life, and I'd rather him not catch us,” he said shaking his head and looking off into the street and you laughed, catching us kissing?” you smiled.

“No im not worried about kissing,” he said turning to look at you before leaning into your ear and whispering “im worried about him catching me fucking rearranging you” You immediately felt your breath hitch and your whole body heat up at his words as he pulled away and watched you get all flustered. Your heart filled with hope— maybe he felt the same about you, just maybe.

“And besides he’s inside right now,” Leon said pointing to the door, you both looked back “I don't think he can see outside the glass though, wait,” he said getting up and you followed “I don't think anyone can see for that matter,” he said looking inside.

He turned back and it looked like he had a revelation, “you, you just used this to get me close to you huh?” he said towering over you, you smirked— maybe a little but it wasn’t entirely your plan but you decided to bite the bullet and palm him through his jeans. You knew it would change the subject but also to let him know you wanted him, not like that bullshit drunk kiss.

He immediately reacted and looked down at you, “You cannot do that.” Leon let out a shaky breath, he looked at the door and furrowed his brows looking back at you “I think he’s coming you have to stop it” he said grabbing your wrist and pushing you into the door. Your breath hitched and you felt your heart beating out of your chest as you swallowed your spit dryly.

He pulled it away and looked at you sternly “You cannot be doing that understand? You’re being fucking bad” he said sucking his teeth, you felt yourself getting slick and you smiled looking up at him trying to make him break. “Fine” You smiled and turned around to look inside— pressing your ass against him. You chuckled and got onto your tiptoes and peered inside, “Oh yea? Gotta look inside, and rub that little ass on me huh?” he said, sucking in a breath.

“Gotta get on your tiptoes for that princess?” he teased and you felt your cheeks burn and you immediately turned around setting your feet flat, you looked down and saw his bulge. You smiled feeling beyond confident and he looked down to see what you were looking at and he practically read your mind, “Yes yes I’m hard” he tried to brush it off as if it was nothing, but you wouldn’t let him get away that easily.

“Why?” you smiled, of course, you knew why but teasing Leon was too much fun. “because you’re fucking gorgeous— Jesus okay, but no we cannot I’ve known your brother way longer and our friendship will last longer than any orgasm,” he said shaking his head trying to reason with you.

“Your dick says otherwise” you smirk, “yes okay but that’s not a valid point,” he said looking around to see if anyone was noticing but it was pitch black. “But I need you Leon,” you say squeezing your thighs to try and get any friction. His face immediately changed and you could tell you were breaking him, “huh, really now..how much?” he asked cautiously.

“So fucking bad, I’m dripping,” you said trying to press your body against him, he gently pushed you away “Okay okay— sorry but we cannot be doing this, absolutely not your brother is inside that house, so no” you felt frustrated and this was going nowhere so you decided to spice it up “fine, I’ll just go back inside,” you said turning around but Leon grabbed you “no don't just go back inside the creep is probably looking for you,” he said pulling you back.

“Then what do you want me to do?” you said turning back around, you knew if you put enough pressure on Leon he’d crack “Look- fuck I don’t know okay,” he said before you both heard footsteps and the door handle jiggled. Your heart dropped and you both panicked and immediately ran to the side of the house, Leon grabbed you and pulled you as fast as he could and covered your mouth with his hand “Shutupshutp just shut the fuck up” he whispered yelled.

“Sis? Are you out here?” you both heard and froze, you smirked— the perfect opportunity to test him, you immediately rubbed him through his pants. “Fuck no don't please come on” he whispered, the door closed and Leon let out a breath and you took that moment to get on your knees and unzip his pants. “Oh! my god” he said panicking as you pulled his cock out and looked up at him.

“Stop. Stop it” he said trying to get you off but you smiled and pumped him with your hands before kissing the tip. “Oh, my god, that’s not fucking fair” he moaned, and you smiled. You had broken through, “it’s so big” you teased and kissed the side, “of course you think it is it’s half your god damn size— god stop. stop it,” he said running his fingers through his hair.

“Oh my god, you have to stop” he moaned and shook his head “We can’t no stop,” he said but made absolutely no effort to pull you off. “You won okay, fuck” he said as you pushed up his shirt to see his trail and swirled your tongue at the tip making his knees buckle slightly.

You saw Leon give in to you and you never felt more proud, you popped off and smiled up at him. “Jesus okay fine, we’ll do it okay just— just this once,” he said pushing your hair out of the way “So fucking gorgeous with my cock in your hand princess” he smiled softly.

“Just suck my cock” he said panting and you immediately dove in, “oh shit yea just like that, make it sloppy,” he said closing one eye. You smiled and took him as far as was comfortable and sucked while pumping the rest. You popped off and spat on it before swirling your hand up and down it before paying attention to the tip, he moaned and entangled his fingers in your hair. Your heart was beating so fast, you’d been dreaming about this moment for years ever since you graduated from high school at 18 and left for college.

“Oh fuck, yea just like that— so fuckin’ dirty” he smiled and his core was tightening. You took him deep into your mouth and used your other hand to touch his balls and he immediately sucked in a breath and smiled, “Yeah keep going— come on baby” he moaned watching you devour him. “Ohh…oh yeah” he chuckled as his dick twitched in your mouth, “fucking drool all over it, be a good fucking girl f’me”

You were a mess down there, dripping out your panties, but you weren’t complaining at all. Watching Leon enjoy your mouth gave you validation like no other, you wanted more— no needed more. “Yeah so cute, you feel all that in your mouth?” he asked and you hummed and he winced feeling it, and chuckled. “Yeah well I’m gonna fucking use this cock on you like your a fleshlight— like a toy made just for me” he smiled.

You immediately moaned against him as you felt a jolt of pleasure send straight to your cunt. “Play with yourself” he moaned trying not to get too excited, “come on, rub that clit” he said desperately as you gagged on him. You reached down with one hand and dove into your panties, immediately moaning against him as your fingers met your clit.

You rubbed circles and slapped it gently before plunging 2 fingers in, “atta girl, such a good slut for me” he said as his breath was hitching slightly. “Yea drip all over the grass” he moaned and you kept fucking yourself with your fingers. He groaned and pulled you off abruptly and picked you up to stand on your feet, “turn— turn around fucking bend over” he said kissing your lips.

You immediately did hands pressing against the cold house, “good girl” he smiled and pulled down your panties to your thighs. He aligned his cock with your pussy and slowly went in, you both moaned as he went deeper, “oh my god” you said looking back. “So fucking good, hugging me so good” he smiled a toothy grin.

He shook his head and came back to reality “You’re okay?” he asked a little concerned and your heart swelled at the thought of him caring about you even in a moment like this, “good, so good” you huffed and pushed your hips back into his trying to get more. “Oh god,” he moaned as his hips met yours before pulling back and thrusting again. Your voice hitched and you tried to fuck yourself against him as well, “yea that’s right fuck” he chuckled and slapped your ass.

You went forward a little and gasped as he gripped the red mark before slapping it again, grabbing the fat of your ass roughly. He groaned and struggled to bend down to meet your ass, “fuck, it's hard bending down” he said breathlessly “Do— do you trust me?” he asked and you nodded.

“Good, I’m gonna pick you up and fuck myself into you how does that sound? Yeah, you won’t have to think about anything else but this dick okay?” He asked and you moaned and he pulled your panties to your ankles and spun you around and picked you up holding you tightly. “It's okay I won't drop you” he smiled and kissed your lips quickly, before pushing his dick back into you thrusting up and pulling you down slightly.

You both moaned at the new angle as he hit even deeper inside you, you felt so tiny in his arms but in a good way. It was turning you on so much as he buried his face into your neck, he moaned and pushed your back against the house and you wrapped your legs around his back as your panties fell to the ground.

He reached down and rubbed your clit as you felt yourself getting worked up, you knew if he kept pounding you so good you’d gush. “Yea, yea, shit, so good, you don't even have to think huh? You can just focus on being a whore for me yea?” he smiled and bit your neck as you moaned, he left sloppy kisses all along your neck.

“God wanna fill you up, but it's such a bad idea” he chuckled, you could feel you were losing it, “on birth control” you huffed out. Leon immediately grinned, “yea? Then I’m gonna stuff you full” he moaned and felt his hand cramping up but he didn’t care because he felt you tightening around him.

You moaned and wrapped your arms around his neck moaning his name as he kept pounding and rubbing you, “Oh god im so close” he moaned. All your senses were overloaded— the cold house on your back, Leo’s cock, his warm body, and the adrenaline from the risk of getting caught only fueled you and you felt your orgasm seconds away as he thrusts into you so hard and at the right angle.

Your eyes rolled back as you clawed at his back and squeezed around him gushing, he immediately stopped rubbing your clit and grabbed you by your thighs before ramming into you at an ungodly speed. “Oh fuck.. oh god yesses” you both moaned like a mantra before he sunk his teeth into your shoulder and came deep inside you.

You moaned in pain as you were panting and he groaned before slowly pulling out and setting you down. You smiled and huffed “So fucking good” you teased and he smiled “Yeah”. “Get your panties before anyone sees,” he says, tucking himself back in and zipping his zipper.

You did and looked up at him, he placed his hand on your shoulders and tried to fix your hair, “god everyone's gonna know what happened if you go back inside now” he chuckled “I don't care” You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck as you stood on your tiptoes.

He chuckled and grabbed your waist, “yea?” he smiled before looking away and looking back at you “I know I only said once but um, maybe… if another boy tries something like that you know, maybe we can do…this again? Only at parties though— I can be…your little party boyfriend and protect you, sound good?” he smiled and you nodded, “yea I’d love that”

taglist 🏷️: @ghostkennedy @adaelines @konigbabe @rat-typewriter @meowsiee @dilucstruelover @antidesire @d34ng3l @alewesker

[evilgaygothgf]

How easy would they fall in love?

How easy would the the group chat members fall in love (imo)

a/n: this is kinda short since it’s my first post here 😞

Isaac

I feel like he wouldn’t pay you much mind at first, but as soon as you laughed at something he said or did or made a witty comeback at one of the other other boys, he’d be hooked

Like you’re all hanging out at the group house and he’s trying to jump into the convo and make a comeback at one of the guys, but like everyone is loud so they can’t hear him the first time, but he looks over and sees you laughing at whatever he said

You boost his ego (as if he needs it any bigger 🙄 /j ) and he eats that shit up

He can NOT hide his feelings for shit

This guy things he’s Mr Stone Cold out here and that you don’t have a clue

But he visibly gushes like big ol googly eyes boinging out of his head at you THIS FOOL CANNOT KEEP HIS COOL AROUND YOU

Softwilly

I think this man would swoon as soon as he saw your smile.

His pov would be like those movie scenes where everything goes blurry but you, you’re surrounded by an ethereal glow, birds singing and shit.

Boy would start floating like Tom and jerry when there’s a delicious pie smell in the air all 🤤 and wtv lmaoo

Yumi

Idk but I feel like he’s a tough cookie when it comes to stuff like this

Like you’d definitely be catching feelings first in this situation

He would probably start falling for you after you’ve known each other for a good bit of time and you’ve started rubbing off on him

He realizes you’re the only person besides him with an ounce of logic when you’re around the boys /j obv

You playfully mock him like the guys do, but he likes it when you do it and just plays like he hates it

Larry

He’d be besties with you at first I think

You’d join in on his and Tanner’s antics

The three of you would be dumb & dumber & dumbest

And like one day the two of you are hanging out alone and he realizes he has feelings for you 😑😐😑😐 (pretend they’re like blinking or smth idk)

And suddenly it’s like every time you come around now, Tanner is nowhere to be seen and it’s just a “coincidence” that you and Larry have to hang out without Tanner

Boy is crushing so hard but he really drags it out before ever saying anything to you bc I feel like he would like how pure it all feels…like he’s got his own little secret to himself yknow? Little mischievous guy

Tanner

This sweet boy

Like

Not playing favorites here but like

He’s a grown ass man but he’s babygirl and I’ll fight to the death over it

He’d fold. 😐

So fast

You play into whatever mischief he cooks up and it gets him all giggly and shit swinging his legs kicking his feet type shit

He’s so obvious about his feelings for you

Y’all send 0.5 selfies back and forth to each other and he is dying every time he gets one from you

Puts it in a special album on his phone and everything

Please be good to him

Grunk

Lil Grunky boy

He’s kind of like Isaac where he thinks he seems all cool and collected, but he’s so visibly nervous when you’re around

Tripping over his words

Blushing like crazy when you talk to him

Boy is SMITTEN

He tries to treat you like “one of the bros” thinking it’ll keep his crush on you secret

But if the group chat guys find out he has a crush on you it’s OVER for him

0 secrets at that point

Every time you’re around they’re making obvious pokes at Grunk about you

Obv all in fun, but like, if this boy gets in his feels over you, you’d know so fast

Thanks for reading!

[jemmo]

utsukushii kare really said we’re going to take two of the most fascinating, interesting, well-characterised characters to have ever been written and not just stick them in the same show, but put them in one of the most incredible relationships to be seen on screen and i cannot thank them enough for it. seriously, if you consider the fact that at this point we’re at ep 8 of a 30 minute runtime show; that’s 4 hours. i’ve watched other bls, heck even other ordinary shows, that can’t even cram enough characterisation into a character that hira or kiyoi have in their little fingernail. im not joking. and nothing shows that better than kiyoi in this ep.

i love that we’re already getting an episode from his perspective. we had to wait all the way until ep 4 of season 1 to see things from his side, and that was such an amazing twist and reveal and still to this day that ep makes me cry. but im so glad we get to see his perspective sooner. bc we don’t need that shock twist anymore, instead it serves as a good balance to see where both our characters are at in the first 2 eps. and yet again, seeing things from kiyoi’s pov just opens up the absolute treasure trove that is his character. there are so many stand out points from this ep that i wanna mention but I’ll wait until my big ‘favourite parts of utsukushii kare s2 ep2’ post to list them all. what i wanna say here is that every bit of his character we get to see in this ep comes together so well to create such an interesting, multi-faceted and well-rounded character that it’s kind of astounding. we start off with his softness and vulnerability that’s countered perfectly against hira’s timid reaction, and then we jump back to high school to see this full on longing and the frustration that comes with that, waiting to be confessed to. i wanted to say this about the first season but this serves a good opportunity too; I find it so interesting how they portray hira and kiyoi’s ‘seme and uke’ dynamic (im gonna use those terms bc i can’t think of any better way to describe it, just know im referring more to a more dominant vs more submissive personality, like the confesser vs the confesse, and not anything sexual). You could so easily watch this show, hear the premise, even see the characters, hira and his chronic shyness, kiyoi and his undeniable popularity, and easily place those labels; hira the uke, kiyoi the seme. but in reality, kiyoi so clearly wants to be the uke, and very much is the uke. he begs in his head for hira to confess his feelings fo him, half bc maybe he needs hira to be brave where he can’t be, but I think also half bc he just wants to be confessed to. He wants the boy he likes to tell him he likes him, just like he wants to cuddle in his lap and be looked after. it probably stems from this want to be loved, chosen to be loved, and be cared for where he felt he wasn’t before, but it’s just so refreshing and such an interesting subversion of expectations, to see inside cool, popular kiyoi’s head and it’s just him begging for this shy, nobody kid to like him, and say it out loud.

and then I’ve touched on this before, but you get to see his earnest drive and passion to do what he loves. the cool kid that should fit the stereotype of never caring about anything, pushing to do the thing he loves, putting himself out there. I just can’t describe how excellent of a subversion that is. and the way he is with people at work, with Anna, polite and cordial and sweet, it’s such a reverse of kiyoi’s tsundere shortness and bluntness with hira that it not only shows us that yes, we weren’t hallucinating, there really is an infinite pool of softness within kiyoi that pours out more and more every time we see him, but also shows us that kiyoi is maybe only his true self with Hira. he’s not this polite, nice boy, nor is he this cool, cold popular guy, he’s somewhere in the middle, a fascinating mix of both, that only hira gets to see the full extent of, and I think that says a lot about how comfortable he is with Hira, and how much he trusts him. as much as it may be bad that hira will never find fault with kiyoi, it also makes him his sanctity, his true safe place, where he can breathe and grow and truly be whatever he wants, soft, angry, cute, cool, vulnerable, hira will take it all and adore it no matter what.

and then we get his jealousy of koyama, his protectiveness and possessiveness of hira. it’s kind of endearing how he still feels these things when hira shows him such endless devotion, it’s a testament to how normal he sees their relationship compared to hira, and how he therefore allows himself to feel normal relationship things, including possessiveness. but also in this scene i really love how kiyoi is let’s himself doubt himself, and only when it comes to hira. i feel like we’ve only ever seen him been unsure of himself when it comes to the things he loves, namely his dream of being a performer, and hira. he only looses confidence when he doesn’t do well in the competition in high school, and is only ever doubtful when it comes to hira’s feelings about him, and how he is with hira, maybe bc they’re the only things he truly wants to last forever. so what does he do, just like he does with his acting career? he puts in sincere effort. he humbles himself taking that recipe from koyama, and despite his cluelessness and clear lack of skills, he still tries his absolute hardest to do something for hira. he cooks him a meal, one of the most ordinary and sincere expressions of love. and his shy smile the whole time, him waiting excitedly for hira to come home, it’s such a fantastically endearing contrast from the cold, removed kiyoi we know early in s1 that you almost can’t reconcile them as the same character, and yet the steps that got us here make it clear that they are in fact the same person, that both those people live inside kiyoi and that’s amazing. and of course something as ordinary as cooking a meal for your boyfriend can never be normal for hira and kiyoi but the chaos unfolds is what makes them absolutely them. it mirrors what kiyoi says at the start of the ep about Hira, ‘if it wasn’t disgusting, it wouldn’t be hira’. It’s the same for kiyoi, and the same for their relationship. they don’t want to change it fundamentally, don’t want to take away the things that make it them, they just want to find a way to take this thing they both want and love and build it, strengthen it, so it can last. and i’ll say it until I’m blue in the face, but that’s why kiyoi’s personality, his bluntness, works so well for hira. it provides this iron wall of reassurance based in truth that he needs. I think ‘im not dating a pebble’ might be my stand out line from a bl in 2023 already but it’s also so ridiculously laced in meaning. Kiyoi doesn’t see hira as just some rock, some insignificant thing on the side of the road, that’s not what he’s dating. He’s dating hira, the person. And I think this push for hira to see himself as a person is only something that kiyoi can do because, in a way, hira was the one to see Kiyoi first. I’m a different way, because of the complex hira still has around kiyoi, he may not be a person yet, but hira still saw him in a way no one else did because he cared enough to look and keep looking. He stared and stared at every bit of kiyoi, including the uncool parts, the embarrassing parts, the sweet parts, the upset and angry parts, he’s the one that saw it all and never once looked away. The invisible kid made him feel seen. And I think for someone that’s always looked at but never seen, that’s what you really want.

So yes, this may have collapsed into another ramble, but I hope I can just convey some of the sense of how whole of a character kiyoi feels, even just by the points in this ep. And I just love that he’s allowed to be it all, be chaotic and messy and imperfect and a work in progress while still helping hira along too. I’ve never seen a bl couple that feel so much like they’re growing together, figuring themselves out as people and as a couple and it’s just so fucking refreshing and interesting and beautiful to watch and i will never ever shut up about it

[sapphire-weapon]

another broke take i keep seeing is that ashley develops feelings for leon but that it’s not mutual, which is dumb bc even if leon isn’t as open about it (the ‘running from creeps’ and ‘good company’ lines notwithstanding), his body language is very telling imo.

holding on to her a little longer than he needs to during the church escape, touching her shoulder to check on her (when they’re saved by luis) or in reassurance (post-stabbing), gently cupping her head and tracing his fingers down her arm, reaching for her face again when she’s on the altar, grabbing her hand to pull her into the lift, and the way he always stops to help her up with both arms when she’s downed by enemies

even the fact that he’s literally being paid to protect her can’t justify the tenderness of all these little touches. i highly doubt “touch the president’s daughter like she’s the only thing that keeps you going” was in his job description. don’t even get me started on his boyish, almost bashful, “i can catch ya” like literally what the fuck

I think, after being forced into the shadows for eighteen fucking years by this fandom -- and by Aeon fans especially -- I've been hesitant to make any definitive statements on Leon and Ashley's relationship outside of its effects on Leon's character arc (and reaffirming over and over and over again that Ashley disappears from the series, as though to soothe people's reactions??).

But I was on discord talking to @godtier earlier, and once I actually said it out loud and then actually got an agreement from someone who could not be paid to give a fucking shit about this ship -- I'm just going to go ahead and say it for the wider fandom.

Resident Evil 4 Remake was written as a romance, and the romance is between Leon and Ashley.

With the new scenes they've added in, it's literally structured like a romance story is. I'll even outline it for you.

1) Call to Adventure / The Meet Cute

Literally their first meeting in the church, culminating with the catch and that moment of longing as they lock eyes while Leon continues to hold her just a few seconds too long.

2) Refusal of the Call / Rejection of the Relationship

At first, Leon treats Ashley solely as his mission objective. ("Hey can we take a break?" "Sorry, we need to keep moving.") And Ashley, for a good bit, doesn't trust him at all but goes with him because she has no other choice. ("Seriously, this cannot be happening.")

3) Acceptance of the Quest / Giving the relationship a chance

The escape from the cabin sequence up to the "seems this isn't your first time running from creeps." line. This is where we see them actually start to warm up to each other, and Ashley, for the first time, believes Leon can and will really get her out of there.

4) Trials and Temptations / Three Dates

The three dates are:

1) Ashley busting the window open after the Mendez boss fight, helping brush the embers off of Leon, and helping to pull him to his feet

2) Salazar's introduction ("The girl's just fine. With me.")

3) The road to the Water Hall (Leon jumping across the chandeliers + this is the first time the "knight and the princess" allegory is stated)

5) Midpoint Crisis / I-need-you-but-can’t-have-you

The stab followed by Ashley running away in tears, terrified of hurting Leon again and horrified that he saw her like that. This is also the second time that the "knight and the princess" allegory is stated.

6) The Road Back / Pulling Back Together

The pep talk. Leon is openly vulnerable for the first time ever in this game, and Ashley is grateful to have him with her. Note that Luis calls Leon "Prince Charming" immediately following this scene.

7) The Fall

Ashley stating "I won't run. Wait for me, Leon." And then Leon following up with the "I can catch ya" line.

8) Dark moment / The Break Up

Leon sitting at Ashley's bedside waiting to turn and ready to shoot himself. He's already half given up, and some part of him has started to believe that they won't actually make it out of here -- not together, at least.

9) The Sacrifice

"This time, it has to be different." Leon is forced to challenge the assertion by Ada and Krauser that he hasn't changed, and he even has to prove it to himself. He destroys Ashley's plaga, holding her hand the whole time, smiles breathlessly, then collapses to the floor.

10) Declaration

"Hey... we're a team, right?" "Keep this up? I'll be out of a job."

11) The HEA

Leon and Ashley literally ride off into the sunrise together towards a happily ever after.

The original RE4 is not structured this way. Even if I tried to, I couldn't slot Leon and Ashley's scenes from OG into this outline.

And the romance angle is reinforced over and over and over again through repeated use of the "knight and the princess" allegory beyond what I've even listed in the outline. You know, the fairy tales about the knight who saves the princess and they fall in love and live happily ever after. In addition to Salazar saying it, there's the "Prince Charming" line from Luis, Ashley references it when she jokes that Leon should literally put on the knight's armor -- and, on a meta level, Leon has a fucking fantasy hero costume.

There's even goddamn dialogue in the game where Ashley says to Leon, "I knew you'd come" -- which is basically just ripped right out of the Princess Bride.

And to continue the meta reinforcement of it, Leon and Ashley literally have a matching set of alternate costumes called "Romantic" -- and they are fucking Romeo & Juliet inspired. Come the fuck on, man. They couldn't have been more on the nose about it if they'd tried.

And this is in addition to all the other shit you already pointed out in your ask.

And there's the fact that they completely removed any hint of Ada possibly even remotely being a love interest for Leon in this game. The focus remains solely on Ashley and the bond that she and Leon build together.

Leon and Ashley's relationship in RE4 Remake is canonically romantic in nature, and I'm so fucking tired of pretending like it's not.

[gotyouanyway]

genuine question here, is it not a good skill to learn to explain symptoms outside of diagnostic language? i'm sometimes unable to do certain house chores or tasks if i'm having an awful brain week (i'm on the autism spectrum and my sensory issues are the first thing to get bad when everything else is going bad). i could tell my coworker "hey i'm on the autism spectrum and the sound of the shop vac makes me overstimulated to the point that it's painful and could cause a panic attack" or i could say "hey, would you mind vacuuming today? the sound of the vacuum is really painful for me. i'll wipe down countertops." i resist using diagnostic language in general bc i don't think it's anyone else's business what neurodivergencies i have, and i don't think people should have to out their diagnoses in order to be taken seriously.

i understand completely that the OP uses blaming and somewhat language about their symptoms, and that only creates shame. but something we talk about about wrt accessibility is the fact that some people's symptoms are incompatible with other people's symptoms. someone having a meltdown might be incompatible with my sensory issues around sudden or persistent loud noises. is it not okay to acknowledge that without self-shaming?

it is not someone's fault if they are having an episode or meltdown and they should not self-shame for that, or apologize as if it's something wrong that they did that they should work to change. but i think acknowledging the way that meltdown might impact others is also part of living in a community. isn't this the whole point of redirecting behavior? is it ableist to compromise at "my bedroom is my safe space to have a meltdown, but i understand doing it in the living room makes the living room impossible for you to work in"?

again these are genuine questions because i never want someone to feel shame for any symptoms they experience, especially ones they can't control. but OP's example was about their RSD causing them to hurt their friend and blame them for something they didn't do. is there not a middle ground here? sometimes symptoms are things we cannot control and shouldn't be shamed for, and also things that can hurt others, and i don't think i should need to give someone my diagnostic history to prove i need that accommodation.

to begin with, yes i agree that it's a vital skill to learn to discuss symptoms without using diagnostic language. i'm not going to get into the issue of psych diagnosis and diagnostic language in general but yeah, it's important to be able to get away from it for the reasons you mentioned. there's no reason you should have to disclose diagnoses in order to be accommodated/understood.

i think op of the screenshotted post was using the diagnostic language as a strawman: the person making a "bad apology" says the name of their symptom (which we're supposed to believe is the wrong thing to do), while the person making a "good apology" doesn't mention any symptoms but describes them instead. but as you demonstrated with your vacuum example, it's perfectly possible to say the exact same things with and without diagnostic language. so really the "good apology" could've said "i have rsd" as well and still been a good apology for the sake of op's argument.

all that^ is to say, diagnostic language itself is not what i took issue with in the screenshotted post.

my issue with the screenshotted post (and the point being made by the person who screenshotted it) is less to do with specific language and more to do with the attitude of people who want to "depathologize" everything SO much to the point where symptoms of mental illness/neurodivergence become basically a personality trait that is wholly your responsibility to keep under control, and something you must apologize for when it has any negative effect on other people.

i think the point being made in that post, or at least the point i'm making right now, is that sometimes people's symptoms suck for the people around them. it's unfortunate, but that's just life, and sometimes it's nobody's fault and nobody has to take such deep personal responsibility for it that they feel genuine shame.

think of it this way: if i have a meltdown, it's out of EVERYBODY'S control, not just mine. if i could prevent it, i would. if my friend could prevent it, they would. and it sucks for everyone involved, we're ALL having a bad time. so beyond a perfunctory "i'm sorry that sucked so bad", why should i be apologizing and beating myself up and promising to do better next time when i know i can't?

now of course there's middle ground - there's rarely a firm line between "in control" and "out of control" especially when it comes to emotional outbursts, and yes people have conflicting needs. nobody is saying it's ableist to acknowledge this, or to expect people to try their best. what IS ableist is how the burden of "compromise" is so much more often placed on the person experiencing the symptoms to stop being such a problem for everyone around them. even in your living room example, the person having a meltdown is expected to do everything they can to not disrupt people but you make no mention of the person who's being disrupted having to, like, just cope with it, because sometimes shit happens. i'm not saying the person with symptoms has no responsibility or should NEVER have to apologize if they hurt someone. i'm just saying sometimes there's no winners in situations like these and that compromise and understanding need to come from both sides

[blackbird-brewster]

Friday Fic Rec (Special Edition)

Fic rec ask game

(Taken from @illegalcerebral)

I saw a thing earlier lamenting the fact that people don't make lists of fic recs any more so for Motivation Monday I've decided to start a game so we can spread some love! So make a new post and compile a list of the following fics:

An ongoing multi chapter fic you are excited to get updates for right now

turn the world to gold by sunshineandguns

(Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily)

I am so in love with this one! Cannot wait to see how it ends. IT's just such good and agnsty Jemily

(If Loving You is Wrong) I Don't Want to be Right by ambiguousem

(Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily)

If I could unhinge my jaw and eat a fic like it was a meal to be consumed, this fic would UNDOUBTEDLY taste like all of my fave comfort foods individually and simultaneously. I literally don't know how to explain my love for this angstt fest.

A completed multichapter fic that you can binge read

Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) by w00t4ewan (me)

(Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily, JJ/Tara, Tara/Emily)

Yeah, I'm hyping my own work bc this is what I'm currently reading to my partner (I read out loud to them every night) and it's been such a joy for me to read it for the first time (since writing it). We constantly lament that there's not a TV series of this AU bc GOD THERE SHOULD BE ITS SUCH A ROM-COM

A oneshot you think everyone should read

Steps by Phoenix_Falls

(Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily)

DID YOU KNOW: This is the highest read Non-Smut Jemily fic!? IT IS!!! AND YOU SHOULD READ IT BC THE FLUFF IS UPSETTING

A fic you have re-read more than once

Dreams, Schemes and In-Between by Phoenix_Falls

(Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily, Derek/Penelope)

One of my FAVVVEEEESSSSS. I have read it so many times over the years bc it's so light-hearted and the entire fic is four idiots trying to get each other to fall in love. It's an entire fic about best friends being Meddlers

A fic you first read over a year ago that you want to spotlight

I Want to Believe by Trancer

(Criminal Minds/X-Files, Emily/JJ)

It's an X-Files Jemily AU. AND YOU WILL LOVE IT

A fic that introduced you to a new ship/character/fandom

With a Little Help From My Friends by phoenix_falls

(Criminal Minds, Emily & Luke )

THIS FRIENDSHIP!! Luke needs to be protecc at all costs and this really turned me on to the idea of Luke and Emily being bffs and gay idiots together. I love it!!!

A fic you'd recommend to someone new to your fandom

Depends on why they're here! I exclusively write/consume Criminal Minds femslash so here's my recs based on the assumption you just watched CM for the first time and said "THESE WOMEN ARE VERY QUEER!!!"

"Oh my GOD JJ and Emily are SO GAY TOGETHER?!?"

Start Here: [Take My Hand and Show Me the Way] by mjduncan

"UHHHHHH Tara Lewis just met Emily and THEY REALLY EYE FUCKED EACH OTHER RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD!!!"

Start Here: [Caution to the the Wind] by thelarkascending

"Do you ever think about the way JJ and Tara look at each other? Like that one overly specific moment when [JJ looks at Tara] (when Tara has her hand on JJ's shoulder) and JJ's eyes basically say OH FuCk I HAvE It SOOO BaDDD FOR TARA LEWIS!!!"

Start Here: [Here is Home] or [Between You & Me] by w00t4ewan

A fic you would recommend to the person who tagged you in this game.

I wasn't tagged and I don't even know if you (@illegalcerebral ) really read a lot of femslash BUT based on your likes in my notes and your icon, here's a lil something as a treat

Pray by w00t4ewan

Criminal Minds, JJ/Emily (Past JJ/Elle)

This is basically a JJ origin story coming off the back of Elle leaving the BAU and JJ trying to get over being in love and feeling betrayed that Elle left so abruptly

Optional: Wildcard choice of a fic

Unwinding by PepperSpicedLatte

This is just a REALLY well-written Je T'Emily threesome that always gets me FLUSTERED bc holy shit it's so so so good

Tag You're It (If you want to play!):

@gaelic-symphony || @cargopantsprentiss || @carasynthiart || @pagetvaleriebrewster || @doctor-whothefuckknows || @puddlejumper9

[tavina-writes]

In celebration of finishing chapter three of "but I'm not in charge of sorrow" aka NHS post canon mental breakdown fic, I thought it would be nice to include an excerpt?

Fic excerpt below the cut bc I have no self control and love showing people things:

Lan Sizhui comes in from where he had been talking to Xilan — who, in a moment of unguarded warmth for this white dressed stranger, had laughed out loud, clapping her hands for something or other — and pauses by the door of his study for a long moment. “Nie-qianbei, can I ask for a moment of your time?”  

“Can I stop you?” It is not quite meant to be curt, but it’s not meant to be polite either. 

Lan Sizhui does not know quite how to deal with it. “Oh, well,” and here Sizhui pauses, staring at his clasped hands rather awkwardly, “Ning-shushu said that…if I wanted to find anyone else who knew the Wen as they were before…” 

“He told you to come talk to me about the Wen.” He can’t help it, it sounds a little flat. 

Must Wen Ning bring a child here to unearth graves over thirty years buried? And for what? For things  that Wen Ning — who says he remembers everything — cannot tell this child himself? 

(If he must admit it to himself, he is a little bitter about that.) 

“He said we were distant relations.” Lan Sizhui’s clasped hands are clasped so hard they might bruise. 

Nie Huaisang remembers his mother’s hands looking like that often. 

White mutton jade bangle on a thin white wrist. 

“Everyone who is someone in the cultivation world is a distant relation, Lan Sizhui.” It had not been so, long ago. But nowadays, you need to be born to power to hold it, or at least born to a bloodline for you to climb where talent couldn’t take you. 

Everyone is a distant relation to everyone else. Yes, even those who would claim they have no Wen blood even as they converged on Nightless City. 

“But yes,” he admits at last, “I suppose we were closer relations than most. What did you want to know?” 

Lan Sizhui pauses there, a long moment. “I have, read things, of course.” He frowns, worrying his bottom lip. “And they were evil. But they were people, weren’t they?” 

“Even evil people are people, yes.” He sighs, and sets aside his pretense at reading poetry. “Even Wen Ruohan was…a man once, before he went mad.” 

Lan Sizhui stands there like a stick, his hands clasped. “Nie-qianbei,” he says, and it looks like he might cry. “Can you tell me about them?” 

“Sit down.” Wen Ning had brought this boy here to dig up graves thirty years buried. “Unclasp your hands and wipe your eyes, Sizhui.” 

But that is not Lan Sizhui’s fault. 

He digs up the graves, and the raw earth of memory spills out between them, words he has not spoken and people he has not considered for years, rising, like fog after an early autumn rain.

[kialle]

that shit fucked up

i accidentally posted this to my main acc omgggg. reposting from march 28th:

i usually start work at 8am so i wake up at 6 so i can leave by 7. last sunday night was hard bc my brother's friend and his gf was up until 1:30am drinking. i told my mom to tell them to go home/go to sleep. and they were done when he left.

and it happened again today on thursday. i was trying to sleep and my sister was being loud bc her cat was bleeding. but my brother and his gf was up too. and she was drunk and being loud.

she was being so loud, i acutally thought it was the mother of my brothers son (who is an addict). i tried to sleep again and i was woken up again at 5am. i was pissed so i got up because i had to get up in 1 hour. i yelled saying i have to get up in an hour and to go to sleep.

she screamed i dont care which is wild. she is usually timid around me and tries to not cause drama. so i nudged her towards my brother's room and said go to bed.

then she pushed me and i was like wtf??? and she kept lunging at me and we grabbed each other's hair. i kept pushing her so she would get off of me and we fell, me on top of her. i was yelling and my mom got up. my brother and sister were just watching. and she lunged at me again and scratching my face and my mom jumped in trying to get her off me.

this made my mom so mad and she was yelling for them to get out. i went back into my room trying to calm down. there was no point of me going to sleep because i couldnt. my mom went out to the garage to tell my dad what happened. but she was still yelling saying how was i going to pay rent like??? she doesnt even have a job. and she was saying to go back to my slut school??? like she wasnt making any sense. she said that she was going to take me to court and get her friends to smash my windows in and have a "hit" against my head.

i told her to go that this is my family. she talks with such entitledment. she thinks that she's safe here just because my dad leaves her alone, shes laughs around my sister and mom. my brother have tried to kick her out the house so many times and threw her down the stairs. yet she still came back.

she doesnt contribute to the house. she doesnt do any cleaning. she doesnt work and pay bills. same with my sister but shes struggling. this woman is older than me and just leeches off of us. she eats our food, uses our internet, power and heat. my poor dad has to do all the dishes for the 7/8 people that live here. my mom uses all of her income towards the house and groceries.

i just started crying and i went out to go see my mom. i was telling her to get her out of the house or i wont ever see her again. that sounds dramatic as hell but like after this??? how could i go on living in that house if she was still there??? so i was just standing there with my mom and brother wondering what to do because she was in the next room still yelling.

we all agreed that she needs to leave. and i wanted her gone before i came back from work. so i did go to home and i was so tired and had no appetite. i didnt go to the gym bc i wanted to make the police report asap. i couldnt do it at work because ppl would overhear. so i made the report via phone call and she calltaker was lovely. she seemed to genuinely care. honestly, i wasnt expecting that and she said that officers might come by later, which i wasnt expecting at all.

i was in class and the police called me and i spoke to them outside. he was talking what my options were and if i wanted to give a statement. and if i wanted them to get into contact with her to tell her she cannot come to our house again. i said no bc it might rile her up and try to get me. but he gave me his card to contact him or call 911 in case she does show and then proceed with idk?? an order for her to stay away??

the officer said he knew of the history of what goes on between her and my brother at our house, which is why maybe they did come. they probably only come to stop them from being a disturbance bc my mom did say that the officers said that they need to take care of their conflict themselves, which is fair and true, its their problem.

the officer did seem sincere towards my situation. i can tell they dont really care about my brother and his gf bc it really is their problem. but it becomes an issue if they are involving and endangering others.

i didnt want them to contact her but we agreed that its good that this incident is recorded and i can get her removed from our house if she shows up again.

yeah.

i think its just so funny how she thought she was immune just because she wasnt fighting with my brother. i bet now she thinks how much she fucked up bc even my mom doesnt want her staying with us. she might be thinking she'll come back after everyone's cooled down. or maybe she's planning on attack me again. but i really think how its funny that she has to go back to her pathetic life: no job and has to stay with her extended family or friends because she has no place to go. istg i will fight for her to leave if she comes back.

[clulessmess]

ohhhhhh my fucking god.

I need to get around to making that neocities.

EDIT: um. Ok. Accidentally Posted a vent mid typing

I dont feel like retyping any of that so ill just edit this in the morning since its getting late

So yeah here i go free write venting sawry <3

Just gettin them (unfinished) feelings out

fyi recently decided to check out what neocities is abt after hearing friends gushing abt it n after scrolling around sites I got hyped n decided to make my own neocities after I realized this could possibly solve all my problems sdhkhkfgd

first of all,

............. not to bring this up for the 7848234th time but. yeah Im still having spiraling thoughts abt my girl + the AU. Yes, as I said earlier the intensity of those spirals have died down significantly. but unfortunately its still there, at the back of my mind. and uh oh!!!!!!!!!! unfortunately theres days where it spikes!!!! and frankly brothers i cant take these thoughts anymore,, i need a place to get the fuck away from social media 

I honestly feel thats the reason why I have these thoughts. I haaaate having to fucking overthink posting anything that could be percieved as cringe on my own fucking accounts to prevent the possibility that it could be the post could have me marked as a sort of “lolcow” or laughing stalk known to the internet. I haaaaate that when I have to talk to ppl, fuck even my own online friends, i haveta be walking eggshells via the irony mask and hide shit bc if i feel if i do i have justify my stance to not be seen as cringe!!!!!! I haaaaaaaaaate this fucking terminally online paranoia!!!!!!!!

and I know me saying “I need to get away from social media, im growing paralyzingly sick from my chronically online brainrot” and proceeding to still do this in an another online public space instead of just simply just stop posting abt Her + the AU and maybe even mass delete anything abt them if theyre doing nothing but causing me stress is a weird decision.... but ok.. hear me out

as a creative, the alternative (just mass deleting + stop posting)  is just.....feels so alienating? Like we all crave..an audience??? idk how to fucking explain it but we all like the idea of at least a few ppl liking our stuff? And despite all this headache,,, i still care her 🥺

the thought that this thing I care abt, that I made with my own two hands, that I cannot ever show that to anyone.... thats devestating

I think the reason I keep spiraling is that I feel there is no safe space for me to post abt this. Perhaps specifically fear of the wrong type of ppl catching wind of it.

The current online landscape is fucking hell. Irony poisoned n the standards are so high, ppl will not put up with mediocrity or cringe and they will be LOUD and clear about that.

Not even tumblr is safe.

Neocities though, from what ive seen its the fucking safe haven for self indulgence. Its not uncommon for ppl to have these things called "shrines", a small subwebsite within a website commonly used to just like. Infodump abt whatever thing they like, often obscure and maybe a little "cringe" (i dont mean this to insult them but like. Yknow what i mean right)

Additionally, I wont have to worry about the Wrong People" finding out abt me and My Bullshit. Or most anyone discovering me and My Bullshit. Being into neocities is kinda a "niche", most ppl dont know anything abt neocities asides from programming nerds rlly nostalgic for the old days of the internet!

If anyone for whatever reads this made it this far... Yep. I finally actually went through with the decision of deleting any trace of her off both my tumblrs. I will no longer be talking about her on tumblr unless until this game releases.

Its the perfect place to hide her for now....

Besides, ive been let go of the only job my incompetent ass could ever do but probably still fucked up anyways.  Think I need a fucking hobby that could maybe double as a skill so. Why not dust off what little programming stuff I know and expand upon in it in case my moms right and I cant rlly get my art career to pop off

Though... I guess the one downside for this is that while I hopefully wont be able to directly recieve hate about the AU...I dont think I will be able to recieve any possible love for it either.

As much as i hate to sound like some attentionwhore, and as much as i had a crippling fear of being found out by the Wrong People... there is a small inkling hope and..curiosity for people that might like it

Again, neocities isnt well known. The one upside to me posting my GLITCHED shit on tumblr is that this is prrobably? The only place where GLITCHED has an actual fanbase on tumblr, so i could like get engagement (ugh.... Hate phrasing it like that. Like im sort of numbers obsessed influencer. But i cant think of what else to call it. The possibility of the fans + the rare outsider interacting n being able to read nice or funny little notes), so I highly doubt anyone is going to think to click on the link to my Gina shrine since GLITCHED isnt well known either once I finish my neocities. Even if someone was curious enough to find my website + the shrine n wanted to express that they liked it, Neocities doesnt have a built in system where people can send messages to the creator.

I am going to post the link to my neocities, since well. I know that there is a small few who did like her (or just appreciated the passion i had).

[raindrvq]

mischa headcanon time !!

except its all just me projecting random things onto him wooooo

ik i already said he was lactose intolerant but also wanna mention that (like most lactose intolerant ppl) he just does not care. can and will eat a shit ton of dairy and someone will be like 'hey isn't that gonna mess up your stomach?' n hes just like 'lol yea'

weird abt eye contact so sometimes he wont be looking at you during a conversation but sometimes hes just, intensely stare at you, for like no reason. if u ask abt it he'll just shrug but it can be very frightening when you dont notice and all of a sudden you turn and see him just like 😶

will also creepy stare at you if he wants to stop doing something without having to actually say that

for example he hates when people make mouth noises (like loud chewing) so he will just stare at you until you get creeped out n stop

he is trans (real not fake) !!!!!

gets dysphoric over like, small insignificant things but will try n correct it in order to fele more masc

like the way he stands (started putting his hands in his pockets and yes doing the dick grab), how he writes (purposefully writes fast so its more scribbly n messy), how he takes off his shirt (pulling it up from the back of his neck) and other random things that do not rly matter

also type of guy to try out multiple diy binding methods bc theres no way his adoptive parents r buying him one (they probably dont even know hes trans tbh) and he definitely wont ask so instead he resorts to other (probably unsafe) methods

hates when his hair gets even a little too long bc not only does it make him dysphoric but he also hates the feeling of hair in his face or down his neck n shoulders

if he goes too long without a haircut he will just end up putting it up but he learns how to rock the ponytail (without feeling dysphoric too 👍)

also he is ace,,,, bc im ace and i want him to be i have no explanation for this one idc if it doesn't make sense he's ace in my heart

constantly has his earbuds in, likes to be constantly be blasting music and has a hard time working without it (he needs the constant stimulation)

loves to chew on things as a form of stimming

straws ? bottle caps ? pens ? destroyed

loves to eat ice as well (this one is more encouraged bc he wont be accidentally consuming plastic this way)

if he cannot find anything to chew on sometimes he just ends up biting his lips n the inside of his cheeks and he has sharp teeth so his mouth is just kinda messed up

secretly rly likes legos

he will spend hours just building bc he will get fixated on it now he has to finish it

also he is a batman fan but he is NOT a comic dudebro joker stan ok

he loves collecting things he deems sentimental

like a ticket stub from when the choir went to see a movie together ? keeping it. a random pretty rock someone found and gave to him ? keeping it

keeps all of them in a little box in his room

ok this was longer than i intended so im stopping it here for now ! ill will probably post some about the whole choir i just had a lot of mischa ones bc projection 🫶

[huge-enthusiast]

MIRACULOUS FIC RECOMENDATIONS!! (Part 2)

You can find part 1 here.

The first one was really popular! So I decided to make a second part.

The rules are the same:

All of the fics will be rated Teen and up audiences or lower. Also if I don’t put the author’s tumblr is because they didn’t put it in the fic or/and I couldn’t find it.

The only thing that changes is that I would be putting the pairing in the description of the fic.

Without further ado...

Written in the Stars by Boogum (@botherkupo here on tumblr!)

Pairing: Marichat and Adrienette.

He was the god of destruction. She was a princess whose kingdom had been prophesied to fall. To save her people, she became his wife. To save him, she would have to do the impossible. The castle has secrets, the gods are watching, and time is running out.

Chapters: 37/37

TW for mild violence.

Arrange marriage, God AU. While I'm making this list, I still haven't finished the fic, but I had to recommend it because is THAT good. The way I gasped out loud while reading some of the plot twists. The worldbuilding is so good, and even if you aren't into AUs that deviate a lot from cannon like me, I 100% reccomend it.

Need a Lift? again by Boogum.

Pairing: DJWifi

Getting stranded on a foreign planet sucked. Luckily for Nino, his rival was willing to give him a lift home. Unluckily for Nino, she was beautiful and funny and he might just be in love with her.

Chapters: 1/1

Space Bounty Hunter AU! Really sweet and funny. If you are into flustered!Nino then this fic is for you.

hey, you by peachcitt (@peachcitt here on tumblr!)

Pairing: Adrienette

“Have you ever had a dream about someone that changes the way you think of them?”

or Adrien has a dream about Marinette.

Chapters: 1/1

Okay so, peachcitt is one of my favorite ml writers. Everything that they write is sooo good y'all, and i'm already a sucker for adrienette, so I cannot recommend this fic (or any of theirs) enough.

double dare again by peachcitt (I told ya!)

Pairing: Ladrien (with lots of sided ladynoir)

“Don’t ever do that again,” Marinette says, maybe a little too emphatically, and Adrien looks at her, his expression quiet. His cheeks, Marinette notices, are a little red.

“But I wanted to save you,” he says.

or Ladybug and Adrien can't seem to stop running into each other. (whether that is on accident or on purpose is nobody's business but their own, of course).

Chapters: 30/30

This was a ladrien june fic! Every chapter corresponds to the day's prompts but it also continues a story. If that doesn't make you want to read it then I don't know what it will. I fear fanfic writers, they're insane.

(not) so much by therentyoupay (@therentyoupayfanfiction here on tumblr!)

Pairing: Marichat and adrienette

(The claws are sharp, but the host of Destruction—for all of his loudmouth chaos and lack of reserve—is paradoxically careful.)

Chapters: 1/1

In which Chat Noir pays a visit not long after Marinette has made a pretty difficult decision, and they accidentally make a routine.

Prompt: Marinette gives Chat a hickey. Adrien has a suspiciously similar looking hickey the next day at school...

Gotta be honest with y'all, I did not expect this fic to be as good as it is. The adrienette has everything a stablished!Marichat should have. Marinette conflicted with her feelings? Check. Adrien being a hot mess bc That's My Girlfriend But She Doesn't Know That? Check. Them being absolute idiots? Check. It's good!

Doctor, Doctor, Give Me The News (Your Lips Is The Only Cure I Could Use) by BreG21.

Pairing: Adrienette

Rainwater sloshed up from the pools they had made on the sidewalk and coated his jean pants with every step he took. He couldn't bring himself to care.

He sniffed away some of the water that dribbled down his matted head. "Yeah?"

He paused as if to consider his words while Adrien stared down at him, so lost. "You weren't wrong when you thought you knew. A part of you wanted it to be her, but it was too perfect, you let the illusion fool you because how would you get that lucky. But trust me, Adrien. You weren't wrong."

He wasn't wrong? What was he not wrong about?

You weren't wrong. You want it to be her.

And it finally clicked as a small gasp wisped past his lips. He wasn't wrong.

In which, Plagg falls ill, and with Fu gone and Ladybug being the guardian now, has to go find her civilian self-even with the knowledge that she might not like that-is shocked to realize that even with having the kwami that was supposed to embodied the very being of bad luck, Adrien could conclude the very opposite of what he had thought for so long.

He was so very lucky.

Chapters: 1/1

I screamed so hard while reading this fic. It's just one of those who gets the characters right. Do you like a good reveal? Go read this now.

Operation Mega Sleepover by InTheWild (@smellerbeee here on tumblr!)

Pairing: Adrienette

When Alya and Nino drop out of their long awaited mega-sleepover at the last minute, it leaves Marinette and Adrien alone together for the night. An Adrinette one-shot with lots of fluff and sleepover shenanigans.

Chapters: 1/1

I just,,, I love adrienette fluff so much,,, I love them,,,

You, Me & A Little Bit Of The Future by joonapeach.

Pairing: this is a fortunate case of all lovesquare shenanigans™

Marinette expects some disaster on her first outing alone with Adrien.

She just doesn't expect that disaster to be her future self passing off a baby for her to take care of with Adrien.

(Alternatively... two idiots obliviously in love cooing over their daughter while acting like they have no idea whose kid this is.)

Chapters: 1/1

I think the description says anything that it needs to be said. It's really sweet and funny and I love how they just change their minds so quickly and get emo for literally nothing. Peak shakesperean dumbasery.

The entire Marry That Girl series by Miraculous_Max (Maximilian_Alexander).

Pairing: Adrienette

Let’s say Marinette has a special sketchbook. This sketchbook is filled with drawings of their future house, of Adrien as an adult in multiple occupational settings, of Marinette and Adrien’s wedding, and most importantly, their future children.

Let's say Adrien found this sketchbook.

Works: 8 (All are 1/1 chapters)

Just realized how this list exposes me as number 1 adrienette sucker... oh well. I love how Adrien doesn't feel weirded out by the intensity of Marinette's crush. He likes it! He's as weird and romantic as her! That's one of the reasons I love the lovesquare so much and it makes me happy to see that everyone is in the same boat with me.

Strenght by 11JJ11.

Pairing: Adrienette

Marinette knew she was much stronger than she looked thanks to being a hero. So when her class had an arm wrestling contest she knew that she could beat all of them with ease, but she wasn't expecting anyone else to come close.

Chapters: 1/1

Good ol' accidental reveal feat. the entire class shenanigans. I, once again, screamed for an adrienette fic. Who could've thought.

Super Fan by Taliax.

Pairing: Ladrien

It was a good thing Alya was holding the phone and not her, because it would have slipped from her fingers and shattered. How had she not noticed? She had been there, and somehow she’d missed her crush looking at her like she was an angel sent from heaven.

Forget the perfume ad. This picture was going to be her new desktop.

(In which Marinette realizes that she and Adrien might both be obsessive fans.)

Chapters: 1/1

Canon divergent from after Gorizilla. They're so dumb. That's my opinion on this fic.

How to Kiss Your Crush in Five Minutes or Less also by Taliax.

Pairing: Ladrien

He just needed to know if Ladybug needed Chat Noir. He didn't expect to learn just how much she wanted Adrien.

This would be the best five minutes of his life, if he didn't expect her to forget it.

Chapters: 1/1

CW for making out.

Set during Desperada. I promise there's a happy ending. Also Luka is there for some reason, felt really bad for him.

Laying Down the Rules: The Gabriel Agreste Clauses by LadyKae

Gen

Adrien leaves the manor on a dark and stormy night and seeks sanctuary at the only place he feels safe: The Home of the Dupain-Cheng Family. When Sabine learns why her dear boy is fleeing to her home in the middle of the night, she makes a personal visit to one Gabriel Agreste.

There's more rules in play, but not for Adrien and Marinette.

Chapters: 1/1

This is just Sabine going to beat the fuck out of Gabriel and it's really satifying ngl

4am. by hannieks

Pairing: post-reveal lovesquare

In which Adrien has the cat tendency to wake up their owners at stupid o'clock, and Marinette just wants to sleep. Cuteness ensues.

Chapters: 1/1

Really short but really sweet. If you like Adrien acting like a cat then you would like this.

Can I Date You(r Character)? by midnightstarlightwrites (@midnightstarlightwrites here on tumblr!)

Pairing: Adrienette

Adrien turned to her, something unreadable in his gaze. “Are you ok with this?” he asked.

And what a loaded question that was. Was she ok with it? Was she ok with the one guy she couldn’t seem to get over in real life kissing her in a game of Dungeons and Dragons? When she put it like that, it seemed a bit silly to get so worked up.

It was just a game...right?

She was ok with it, right?

“Sure,” she lied. “I’m ok with it.”

When Adrien's character falls in love with Marinette's, they decided to date in-game. What could go wrong?

Chapters: 7/?

THIS ONE IS SO CUTE. You want to scream??? Read this.

two idiots and a hamster by Boogum (again) and carpisuns (@carpisuns here on tumblr)

Pairing: Adrienette

How do you hide your superhero identity from your roommate? (spoiler alert: badly)

Chapters: 5/?

Once @anna-scribbles described this fic as "is literally the closest i’ve ever seen a fic come to matching the energy of canon", and I couldn't have described it better.

And that's all for now! Next time I will probably make an only DJWifi list since I've been treating them so dirty lol.

[eurydicees]

TAMAKI CONFESSES KYOYA SPIRALS!!!!! YOU KNEW IT WAS COMING!!!

heeellll yeahhhhhhhh!! this was originally gonna be a full fledged fic but i reread what i already had & i'm just gonna post the full thing as is bc i like pain. and bestie just know that you ASKED for this.

the cry in an empty wood (do you even hear me?)

summary: kyoya has never known how to handle honesty. this, tamaki handing over his heart with a sad smile, is the height of all honesty.

pairings: tamaki suoh/kyoya ootori

words: 1550

warnings: none, but this is ultimately abt unrequited love, so it's a bit angsty

Here is the root of the problem: Tamaki was never supposed to say it out loud. He was never supposed to confess, not for real. 

They both knew it already, even without him saying it. They both already knew that Tamaki is in love with him; it’s not something that Kyoya thought ever had to be said. It isn’t something that needs to be put into words, because they both know that Tamaki loves him and they both know that Kyoya does not love him back. 

Tamaki was never supposed to say it, and they were never supposed to have to acknowledge it, and they were never supposed to have to deal with it. Kyoya was never supposed to have to face this. They both knew that the feelings were there, going unspoken, and it was supposed to stay that way. Speaking it into existence would be to speak something broken into the world; speaking it out loud would be to break their friendship. 

But here Tamaki is, a few days after nearly leaving with Éclair for France, confessing. Here the two of them are, sitting on the floor of Tamaki’s bedroom, and Tamaki is saying it out loud. This monster that lies between them is unsheathing its claws and bearing its teeth and Kyoya is terrified. 

“You don’t have to say anything back,” Tamaki says, his voice gentle. It’s as if he’s the one letting Kyoya down rather than the other way around, because they both know that Kyoya is the one who cannot handle this. They both know that Kyoya, of the two of them, is the fragile one. “I don’t expect anything from you. It’ll pass.” 

“Tamaki.” 

Kyoya doesn’t know where he’s going with that sentence. He only knows that, despite his words, Tamaki is looking more heartbroken than Kyoya has ever seen him. He only knows that Tamaki is looking down at the origami swan he’s made out of his math homework like glaring at it is the only thing keeping him from crying; he only knows that the paper is crinkling where his fingers grip the swan. 

There are so many things that Kyoya doesn’t understand about Tamaki, and this is one of them. He has always admired Tamaki’s ability to love— it’s one of the things that makes him Tamaki. That vast capacity to love, the seemingly endless reservoir of emotion that Tamaki keeps in his chest. It’s beautiful. 

It’s one of the things that Kyoya loves most about him, but it is also the thing that Kyoya understands the least. Now that all of that love is being given to him, now that it has been handed over and now that Tamaki is waiting for a response, Kyoya doesn’t know what to do with it. He doesn’t know how to deal with it. 

Tamaki might have a vast ocean of love in his body, but Kyoya does not have the hands to hold all of it. Kyoya does not have a grip strong enough to keep it safe. 

So he lets it go. 

He allows it to slip from his fingers, allows it to fall to the ground between them, allows it to shatter on the rug that comforts Tamaki’s bedroom floor. He allows all of that love to break, because he has never been strong enough to understand it. 

“You know how I feel,” Kyoya says, keeping his voice level. “Don’t you?” 

“Yes,” Tamaki tells him. He doesn’t look away from the paper swan, but he does give it a small, sad smile. “I already know, Kyoya.” 

Kyoya swallows something thick and grieving in his throat. Here, watching Tamaki try not to cry, he is losing him in every way that matters. Tamaki nodes decisively, and then gives the swan to Kyoya. Kyoya takes it, and while their fingers do not brush when Tamaki passes it on, Kyoya’s hands tremble anyway. 

“I don’t expect anything from you,” Tamaki repeats. “I just wanted you to know.” 

“What for?” is all that Kyoya can ask. 

He’s not sure that he wants to know, but he needs to ask. He needs to find out if there is a reason that Tamaki is breaking the air between them like this. He needs to know if it was worth it. 

Tamaki just shrugs, keeping his eyes on the swan in Kyoya’s hands. Kyoya follows his gaze down to the wings of the swan, catching sight of the hastily scratched out equations on the paper. “It was getting strange. For everyone to know, but for you to be in the dark.” 

But Kyoya did know, is the thing. Tamaki isn’t a subtle person, isn’t someone who knows how to keep his feelings hidden, and Kyoya knows him better than anyone. Kyoya knows how to read every facial expression, every twitch of his lips. Kyoya knew that Tamaki was in love with him, and he did nothing. He didn’t want to know, didn’t want to deal with it. 

When, Kyoya wonders, did Tamaki get so brave? When did Tamaki decide to tell him? When did Tamaki get strong enough to do it? When did Kyoya become so much of a coward? 

Or, maybe these are not new things. Maybe these are things that have always been true: Tamaki has always been stronger than Kyoya. Tamaki has always been brave enough to wear his heart on his sleeve, unafraid of the way it could be ripped to shreds by the talons of the world, by the claws and teeth of the monster that lives between them, the one that is beginning to wake up. No matter how many deaths he wakes from, Tamaki keeps putting his heart into the monster’s hands— into Kyoya’s hands. 

Tamaki has always been brave enough to say that he loves him, he was just holding back for Kyoya’s sake. He knew that Kyoya wasn’t ready to hear it. 

“Everyone knows?” Kyoya asks quietly. 

Tamaki nods stiffly, then looks back down at the tabletop of the kotatsu. They’re sitting on the same side, their thighs pressed against each other, and Kyoya is suddenly all too aware of the places that they touch. The swan seems to burn his fingertips because this is paper that Tamaki had touched, this is something that Tamaki has given him, and Kyoya has never known what to do with the gift of Tamaki’s heart. 

“It’s not like I told them,” Tamaki says, tapping his fingers against the wood of the tabletop. “People just kind of… figured it out. And I wanted to be the one who told you, not Hikaru or Kaoru or whoever. I wanted it to come from me.”

“Okay,” Kyoya says, not sure what else there is to say. He has never been good with words in the way Tamaki is; he has never been able to weave a heart into a sentence, not like Tamaki can. His own heart is a painting, one with dripping colors and smudged lines and tiny details that no one— least of all him— can see. “Thank you for telling me.” 

Tamaki nods again. He takes a deep breath, and Kyoya wonders how much it had taken out of him to confess. He wonders if Tamaki will ever recover from this. 

No— he will. He will recover from this, because Tamaki has always been able to push forwards. He is not someone who looks back, he is not someone who regrets. 

So Tamaki will not regret this, either. He will say it, and he will move on. Tamaki will have gotten it out of his system and then he will be able to let go of it. He will be able to find a new love, with someone who deserves him, and he will forget his feelings for Kyoya. 

Kyoya, on the other hand, is the kind of person who gets stuck in things, who finds himself swimming in stagnant waters, no matter how hard he kicks and screams. Tamaki is the ever changing and ever pushing ocean; Kyoya is a fly caught in amber. Tamaki will be able to move on, but Kyoya will be thinking about this moment for the rest of his life. 

It will ruin the two of them, Kyoya knows. 

Kyoya does not understand why Tamaki loves him, or how he can be brave enough to do so. All he knows is that he does not feel the same way, and it is this that will strangle the two of them. There is something fragile about this friendship, now, it is making it impossible to breathe. 

He hates the way that the sunlight through the window is hitting Tamaki’s face, lighting up the wetness just below his eyes. He hates the way Tamaki’s shadow shifts over the table, over Kyoya’s forgotten math homework and the paper swan. He hates the way that Tamaki very deliberately isn’t looking at him, and he hates that he himself is turning away, too. 

Kyoya swallows down one last gulp of air and hopes that it’s enough. “I’m sorry.” 

Tamaki shrugs. “It’s not a big deal, Kyoya. I’ll live.” 

“Okay,” Kyoya murmurs, and tries not to think about the giant, red-lettered “DO NOT RESUSCITATE” sign hanging over their friendship. “Okay.” 

He fails, and the sign swings in the wind of his exhale. 

[aylinaliens]

Hi Kay! What are the EAW WIPs you currently have!! Hahahaha gosh, the brainrot is so bad for me too, that I currently keep having ideas pop into my head at random times LOL

hi 💙💙 okay so i have an unhealthy amount of EAW WIPs i seriously have a problem help. all of these will most likely be one shots (or very short multichap fics). in no particular order here they are:

kwon minwoo and the horrible, terrible, very bad, no good day: i think we all need a fic where minwoo gets 👊 a few times. i can’t believe he didn’t react more to finding out junho is dating youngwoo he’s literally so obsessed so i’m writing a little fix-it fic where he gets the karma that’s coming for him.

loving you is like the ocean (it goes for miles in all directions): youngwoo is sad that she can’t go on her yearly whale watching trip because she’s pregnant so junho + the rest of her protection squad decide to bring the ocean to her instead (aka they quite literally turn the nursery into an underwater oasis). quite literally just pure married whale couple fluff with a heavy dash of the found family trope

i had the time of my life (fighting dragons with you): geurami + youngwoo centric fic because their friendships gives me so much joy. the simplest summary would be ‘the three times guerami smacked a bitch for youngwoo & the one time youngwoo smacked a bitch for geurami’

untitled: junho meets youngwoo’s dad. yes it’s awkward and hilarious and oddly wholesome bc i’m saying no to toxicity

touch me like you do: youngwoo and junho show each other *exactly* how they like to be touched 😳

everything will be alright (if you keep me next to you): suyeon + youngwoo centric fic set during law school. i know we probably won’t get a flashback of it so i wanted to explore their dynamic in the early days

untitled: i’m combining two different prompts from the same person (youngwoo jealous & junho getting in to an accident) because. cannot do pure angst for these two nope no thank you

why break up?: our whale couple is going to say peace out to that kdrama curse on their jeju island trip and actually communicate 🥰 miss geurami said ‘besties just use your words it’s that simply’

untitled: post ‘conflict’ fic where our lovable dorks express how they feel and maybe kiss a little 🥺 (this one will hopefully go up sometime today)

untitled: youngwoo catches guerami watching a very spicy drama and makes the execute decision to try it out for herself

untitled: no thoughts head empty just a bunch of short little drabbles of all the different kisses youngwoo and junho share

hold me close: aka junho has a bad day so youngwoo offers to be his personal hug chair

we’re dancing around the kitchen in the refrigerator light: youngwoo + junho decide to skip out on the traditional first dance during their reception (too loud and busy !!!) so instead they waltz together in the middle of the night…yes in the refrigerator light <3

untitled: youngwoo + junho beach wedding!! except it’s really just a small gathering & very non stressful & relaxed. + their proposal too because 🥺 they <3

untitled: youngwoo + junho honeymoon shenanigans listen i have multiple fics planned in the ‘whale couple wedding cinematic universe’

untitled: junho finds out youngwoo fell down the stairs…worried junho has me weak (@akuyuukai i told you i was going to do this 👀)

untitled: youngwoo quits hanbada and works to work with ryu jae-sook. not at all angsty because she makes the decision on her own. i just need more women supporting women and youngwoo flourishing professionally

listen i was not kidding when i said the eaw brain rot was real. this drama has me by the throat ajdjsjd and these are technically not even *all* of my WIPs. these are just the ones that i’m actively writing right now. yeah perhaps i do have a problem 😬