#potentially a fourth

[medicbrainrot]

i’d drift away and you’d pull me in, but the waves are deep and i’m wearing thin (deep end, part 2)

A/N: continued content warning for this mini series, suicidal ideation, domestic violence, and excessive consumption of alcohol.

Simon spent the second half of the day looking for Juliana, but couldn’t find her anywhere. By noon the next day, Simon had looked in every possible place he could think of, with not a single sign of her anywhere. 

“Damn it…” Simon mutters. “Where in the fucking hell is she!? If she’s not here, then where in the hell is she?”

Simon was running out of ideas. He’d looked everywhere he could think of on base, and he couldn’t find her anywhere.

Then it hit him. If he couldn’t find her anywhere on base, maybe it was because she was no longer on the base. 

She must have gone home.

“FUCK!” Simon shouted. She had to have gone home. And… hopefully stayed home. At this point Jules had been gone a full 24 hours, which meant that she could be anywhere if she hadn’t stayed home. She lived an hour away from the base. If she had gone home, but then left, she could be anywhere, and Simon would have no idea where to start looking.

Simon took off back to his room to retrieve what he would need before leaving the base to look for Juliana. He was anxious to know what had happened to her in the past 24 hours. It was all his fault. He should have never yelled at her like that, he should have never laid his hands on her. He should have known better.

His heart sunk further into his stomach the more he thought about it. It was his fault she was hurt, it was his fault she had run. And if anything happened to her, it would be Simon’s fault. 

He had to get to her, and soon. Simon drove faster than he should have to get to her apartment, almost cutting the usually hour-long drive in half. 

Finally arriving at her apartment building, Simon parked the car and sprinted up the stairs to the entrance. He rang the door buzzer, hoping that Juliana would answer. Instead he was buzzed in without so much as a question about who it was.

Going through the front door and into the elevator, he tried to calm his nerves while he waited to get to her floor. His heart was pounding as he stepped forward to knock on her apartment door.

“Juliana?” He knocked on the door, waiting. He could hear music pounding through the hallway, and he was starting to wonder if anyone could hear him from inside the apartment. “Juliana? It’s me, Simon. I’d like…to talk to you for a bit…about what happened yesterday.” He said a little louder, hoping someone would hear him.

The volume on the music went down significantly before the lock clicked and the door was slowly pulled open.

“Lieutenant Simon ‘Ghost’ Riiiiiiilllllllleeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyy.” Juliana slurred. “Come to finish the job?”

Is she….is she drunk!?

“Juliana…” Simon was surprised at the state she was in when she opened the door. She was definitely drunk. The way she spoke, her demeanor, all of it pointed to being drunk.

He felt a pang of guilt in his chest. He had caused this. He’d never seen her like this before. He’d seen her tipsy, maybe a little drunk, after a fun night out with the team, but never… wasted. Absolutely, utterly, wasted. 

He reached out to place a hand on her shoulder, and felt his heart sink when she pulled back away from him. 

“...I came to apologize.” He said as he entered and shut the door, his tone of voice serious.

She ignores his statement. “If you’re gonna kill me, keep it clean.” She slurs. “I don’t wanna lose my security deposit.”

“What!?” Simon asked, his eyes widening in shock. “What are you talking about? Jules, I would never hurt you!” He said, his voice cracking. “I swear, I’m here to apologize. I never meant to hurt you.”

“S’not what you said yesterday when ya smacked me.” She slurs. “Ya shoulda been rougher with me. Oh, harder daddy!” She moans sarcastically. 

She looks at the bottle in her hand. “Ya know, my daddy was right, four bottles in, and I agree that the black label is better than the red label.”

Simon felt a pit of guilt open up inside him as he listened to her. She was right, he had hurt her. He shouldn’t have done that. And now, she was determined to hurt him back. 

“Jules…” He said, trying to keep his tone calm and even. “What do I have to do to get you to forgive me?”

She chugged a few more gulps of the whiskey before answering. “Whatever you want, baby, I can take it.”

“I want your forgiveness, what do you want me to do?” He waited for her response, but he wasn’t sure what she’d say to him next. 

Jules holds up a finger and chugs half the bottle. “Ooh, that kinda burns.” She hisses.

“Juliana, be careful with that.” Simon says, a flash of concern burning in his chest. He was still trying to act tough, but what he really wanted to do was just help her. He stood where he was, waiting for her to say something else to him. 

“Are you going to say anything?” He asked, his tone starting to grow firm.

She ignored him and wandered off, reaching for another bottle on the kitchen island.

“Jules, you need to slow down…” He said, concerned.

“Slow down? Baby, I’m on the highway to hell! There ain’t no slowing down here!” She grinned, popping off the cap.

“Juliana, listen. Don’t drink anymore. You’re drinking too much. You need to slow down. Don’t make yourself sick.” He says, his concern beginning to turn into panic.

“Don’t make yourself sick.” Juliana mocks. “What’re ya gonna do, hit me if I don’t stop?”

Simon flinches, feeling another flash of guilt. He couldn’t really blame her for what she was saying. “I never meant to. Jules, please, just listen to me.”

He took a couple of steps forward, just to try to take the bottle from her. 

But when he stepped forward, she stepped back, pushing him back with a hand against his chest. She then proceeded to chug a couple of gulps from the bottle.

She is most definitely drunk. 

“Stop… Please, Juliana. You need to stop drinking, please.” Simon doesn’t know what to do. He’s never seen her like this before.

She gives a slight cough as she lowers the bottle. “You ever got alcohol poisoning before?”

“Alcohol poisoning?” Simon froze. “Juliana… are you–”

Simon didn’t finish the question, but given the state of the apartment, he could assume she’s been drinking for hours.

“Juliana, what are you doing!? You need to stop!” He says, trying to keep the panic out of his voice as his tone escalates. “You’ll drink yourself to death!”

“That’s the plan.” She shrugs as she raises the bottle up again.

“Juliana, please, stop!” Simon shouts as he tries to take the bottle from her. But she refused to let go of it. Simon didn’t want to hurt her, so he was having a hard time getting it away from her.

“Stop! You’re hurting yourself! Why are you doing this to yourself?” He pleaded, tears starting to gather in his eyes.

“BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE DOES IT TO ME.” She screams. “FOR ONCE I WANT TO BE IN CONTROL OF WHO HURTS ME.”

“Juliana!” Simon shouts. “You’re not in control! You can’t make it stop by killing yourself!”

All the hurt he’d caused her came flooding back into his mind. He just wanted her to not be in pain. “I’m sorry! I’m so fucking sorry!” He cried out. “Please, I’m so goddamn sorry!”

“Then get the fuck out.” She sneers.

“Jules, please, you don’t mean that.” He said, voice pleading. The guilt Simon had been feeling was starting to hurt. He was angry. He had hurt Juliana, and had been one of the things that drove her to do this. “Damn it, Jules. Look at me!” He snapped. “You’re ruining your life by doing this! You have to stop, or at least slow down!”

“THERE’S NOTHING LEFT TO BE RUINED.” She screamed back.

“YES THERE IS!” Simon shouted, a lump starting to form in his throat. “You have your life! You have a whole life ahead of you! You can’t give up like this!” Simon was filled with panic now. This couldn’t be happening. He cared about Juliana, he couldn’t lose her. There had to be a way to fix this. He had to fix this. He had to make things right.

“I GAVE UP A LONG TIME AGO. I HELD ON FOR YOU, AND YOU ENDED UP BEING JUST. LIKE. HIM.”

“Then why are you still here!?” Simon shouted, throwing his arms up in the air. “You’re still alive!” He exclaimed, before pointing to himself. “And don’t tell me I’m anything like him.”

“You’re still here, you’re still alive!” He screamed, pointing at her. “And I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry. But please! Please! I’m sorry for everything! I didn’t mean to hurt you! I really didn’t!”

“Can you please forgive me?” He asks, his voice cracking.

“TO QUOTE YOU FROM YESTERDAY: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT.” Juliana screamed at him.

“Fine.” Simon stared at her for a moment.

He felt hurt, angry, and upset. But most of all, he felt guilty.

“Fine.” He repeated, before turning and leaving, slamming the apartment door shut behind him.

He hoped she would be alright. He hoped she would stop drinking. He just hoped to God that she would be okay.

But he had a feeling all his hope would be in vain.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Likes, reblogs, and feedback are appreciated!

Masterlist

[greencatalystcomet]

there is something in my stupid primal nostalgia brain that so desperately wants doctor who characters from different eras to meet eachother. i want amy to meet the third doctor. i want bill to meet susan. i want captain jack to meet adric or the second doctor. i want martha to meet the fifteenth doctor. and GOD the way i would go feral if ruby met rose. i may simply combust

[fiftypiercings]

married joongdok but not in a conventional way because dokja returns home at 3 in the morning, fucking wasted, probably smelling like incompetence and regrets. an intoxicated migraine brewing up while he's trying his best to reach the kitchen for a glass of water in the dark but then there's joonghyuk standing ominously in the path with a knife and lighter in his hands, the trashcan's on fire and cell block tango is playing somewhere in the background.

[bookdragon-shenanigans]

My personal headcanon is that if the empyrean was in the modern world and Violet didn't forgive Brennan after finding out he was alive she would have his number saved as ASSreigh

(tbh i can totally see canon mira doing this too)

[100ducksizedfolignos]

every new thing i learn about this guy makes me so unwell about him

[metalmaul]

May The Fourth Be With You, Maul nation!!! 😈

Here's a collection of various Maul comic panels I have saved that I think are funny. There are some spoilers in this if you haven't read all of these comics, but I tried to mostly go for out of context.

Alt Text in images which I hope is okay and not confusingly put together or totally unnecessary in parts OR lacking in parts. (DM me for suggestions for them to be better if you feel they should be. since this post is Maul based, I kind of just skipped explaining who anybody is bc I guess my assumption is if you have any interest in this post anyway you're gonna know who those characters are, but I might be wrong about that lmk.)

Images #1, #2, & #3 are from Star Wars: Darth Maul — Son of Dathomir (2014;) Image #4 is from Star Wars: Darth Maul — Death Sentence (2012;) Images #5 & #6 are from Star Wars: Darth Maul (2017;) Images #7 & #8 are from Star Wars: Age of Republic — Darth Maul (2019;) Image #9 is from Star Wars: Darth Maul (2000;) Image #10 is from Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace (1999.)

[Miscellaneous character comic panels version HERE]

[moxie-girl]

may the fourth be with you!! have some sticky-note rex'ikas I drew instead of doing my calc hw :3

[spookyscaryfox]

i thought about how on the ninth wasn't a single eligible man or woman to marry harrow outside of ortus. and that marriage would have had procreation as a main goal. and then i remembered that john gaius got rid of notion of homophobia, sexism and transphobia in his empire. and then i thought about transwoman gideon.

reverends forcing harrow to marry gideon. both of them seething, resentful and repressed. oh jod.

[greghatecrimes]

well besties, I was right! ANA is negative, it's not Lupus! 😂

[bilbao-song]

!!! i officially have three concerts secured >:)

[radishrainbowfarm]

I don't know if it has been said before bc it seems very obvious to me but I've been thinking non stop about it lately

they should make a dia de los muertos mini event and have the dead eggs visiting

I will be waiting for it

[eastgaysian]

dragon age 4 gameplay reveal. getting scared

[this-cannot-continue]

omg! world's most hyperspecific self-indulgent crossover just dropped! (it's the locked tomb. it's a nier automata tlt au.)

[kitnita]

whatever, i've reached a state of zen about it all actually. i don't want to blow up the team -otter with my mind anymore. they're just trying to build on the near-reverse-sweep vibes of last year's playoffs and lull all of vegas into a false sense of security by sucking as much as humanly possible

[lucreziaces]

thinking about the dark side of cesare fanning the flames-- or at the very least just not doing anything to stop them-- of the unholy love/desire he and lucrezia felt for each other when he just playfully chased her around the garden after discovering she was watching him fuck another woman, or when he planted the idea that he'd be the only one to care for her heart, or when he implied the love between them was comparable to the love of God, calling it "as all-consuming and pure as the love of God"....an idea she later reflects in season 3 when she says "one touch of your hand and God comes rushing back" (also in the same scene "whatever it is, it overwhelms".) like, yes, okay I do believe lucrezia is probably the one that shifted their relationship into sexual terrority (not on purpose though!!), but cesare is older by a few years. he would've understood it to be wrong before she did, and he could've sat her down at any point in season 1 or 2 and told her "hey, this isn't how brothers and sisters are supposed to feel about each other. we can't lean into whatever this is, okay?" and then made an actual effort to let her go instead of just half-assing it before then immediately beginning the build up of the already thick sexual tension between them until it was unbearable and she was left thinking her husband didn't care about her because he wouldn't sleep with her, so she climbed into cesare's bed and convinced him they should just get it on because no one else could understand them and people already it whisper about them anyway, so "why deny ourselves the pleasure?" very sick and twisted of him. I kinda hate him for it actually. because if he hadn't gone and created this "ideal lover" in lucrezia's head that only he could fit the mold of, she might've found actual happiness with someone else!! 😡 😡

[suturaura]