#pov journals lol.

[sporesgalaxy]

woke up from a dream of finding coded messages from billy ciphs on wikipedia (meant to promote his book, but all themed after songs from Lemon Demon's Spirit Phone album for some reason), looked at my tumblr notifs upon waking up, met with several of my oldest bill posts having gotten notes overnight. ok bill hi bill

[medicaltechnician]

trying to write a xmas letter for my heavy and I’m trying soooo so hard, not to just, make it obvious I like him.

Idk what to write though I’ve always been bad with words. I started writing smth and was like no thats too much bout me I can’t but, I think I do that when I’m nervous? (I also want him to know everything about me.) I also just do that, cause I’m a freak who can’t socialize good, I’m trying v hard

I also live in my own world all the time, like everything i’m observing and can’t really see the world. So this leads into the next point I’ve been thinking about, I’d be okay if I ended up becoming legally blind. Eventually, I’d probably bounce back fast (as I do that anyways with anything that fucks me up and then I loose it a year later lol). But I already don’t register whats happening around me most days, due to smth? Maybe it’s human nature.

I’m so fucking all over the place sorry needed to talk about that, anyways yes. Idk what to write I have so many thoughts and feelings but there’s no tangible words to them. They are a web of stuff in my head

[herringboneatoll]

*dusts off blog*

Day 77 update posted!

I apparently hit the character limit in Misty's bio. FR is telling me to write from someone else's perspective for once LOL

[altfire]

reread proto-brandr's journal from when i played him in 2021 (before he was changed and repurposed for thatw) and tbh it's not bad. its unfinished and a lil messy but ik im never gonna do much more with it. would that be interesting to anyone

[bad268]

maybe a kimi antonelli x reader oneshot where the reader is a journalist and kimi and her fall for each other?

love your stories!

The Exclusive (Andrea Kimi Antonelli X Journalist! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/F2/F3

Requested: Clearly (thank you love! I had fun with this <3 I used to be a journalism major so it was fun going back to my roots lol)

Warnings: Aged up Kimi

POV: Second Person (You/your)

W.C. 1067

Summary: The exclusive interview with Kimi.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Pinterest)

Right now, it was just a hobby. A little blog you started before college that then turned into a podcast and full-blown career. At least, that’s what it was looking like.

You started writing about the Formula 1 feeder series’ years ago because you wanted to give a platform to the smaller categories, and it blew up. It also blew your mind that these people who were around your age were already getting their feet in the door to the pinnacle of motorsport. You also had a knack for writing, so reporting on the drivers’ and the series’ themselves proved to be easy for you.

Soon enough, you started getting invited on behalf of different teams to interview their drivers. Mainly Prema, ART, Van Amersfoort, and MP Motorsport, but they were the biggest teams in each category, so it made sense.

The first time you went to the track was with Van Amersfoort in 2021. There was a race at your favorite track of Red Bull Ring, which you had mentioned on the blog at one point, so they invited you. You had heard of a new driver joining one of the teams, but since it was not Van Amersfoort, you did not plan to do a deep dive until after the race weekend.

You were running through the garages, looking for your iPad, so you could interview Oliver Bearman, the championship leader. Plus, you were already a guest in their garage. Might as well capitalize on it.

You finally found it, so you pulled out your microphone from your backpack as you walked down the pitlane. Most of the drivers were getting the track limits rundown from the stewards, so you knew Ollie would be free after the meeting.

Almost as if it were planned, you ran into someone while you were distracted. Looking up from where you dropped the microphone and a paper with the questions you had for Ollie, you’re met with a brown-eyed, curly-haired boy, and you're a goner.

You couldn’t help but stutter out an apology, but funny enough, he was doing the same. When you both finally stopped stuttering out apologies, he said, “My name’s Kimi.”

You told him your name, and the rest was history.

There was an unspoken rule that from that moment onward, mainly because you two became official not long after. You were only a guest of Prema. It was just a joke that Kimi made up, saying he would crash if you wore any other team’s merch on a race weekend. Sure, you did not believe it, but it’s not like you had anything against wearing your boyfriend’s team merch.

It also meant that you got exclusive Kimi Antonelli interviews whenever you wanted, and you would ask (manipulate) Kimi into messaging any driver you wanted to interview. There was one interview that boosted both of you into the ranks of motorsport.

~~

“Kimi,” You said simply as soon as the podcast started.

“Y/n,” He repeated back as he looked at you over the microphone. You had recently started recording the podcasts to be posted to YouTube after being told to do it by Clement Novalak. He had a successful podcast, so you thought you better listen to his advice.

“2023 Formula 2 Champion has a nice ring to it, don’t you agree?”

“It does, yeah,” He laughed.

“Good, it would suck if you didn't,” You muttered into the microphone. “Anyways, I know this already because I’m cool, but I think my viewers should get the exclusive. Kimi, where will you be going next year?”

“I'm still racing,” He knew that was not what you were asking, but he’s been on enough of your podcasts to know that your fans love the banter.

“No shit, Sherlock,” You deadpanned with a dry laugh. “I mean what team will you drive.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” He teased, eyeing you from his place across from you.

“I already know, and if you don’t spill the beans, I’ll say it,” You threatened. “I’ve got your PR manager on speed dial, so don’t even try to threaten me with Sophie.”

“Fine, I guess I’m going to Mercedes,” Kimi sighed in mock hurt, but you knew it was all for show.

“How does it feel to be teammates with the George Russell and share a grid with the guy who introduced us again?”

“Ollie did not introduce us, don’t get the story messed up,” Kimi accused as he leaned forward on the couch, causing you to do the same. “You and your clumsiness is what got us to meet.”

“Oh, please! You were a stuttering mess, too. Do not put all the blame on me!”

“I never said I was blaming you!”

“It sounds like it!”

“Why are we arguing about how we met? We are both saying the same thing!”

“You’re right,” You said normally as you leaned back on the couch before whispering, “for once,” Into the microphone. You looked up at Kimi as he also sat back. “Anyways, now that we’ve settled you’re going to Mercedes, what track are you most excited for?”

“Monaco,” Kimi said immediately.

“How did I know you would say that?”

“Probably because I told you this a couple of days ago when you tested this question on me, and I answered Singapore, but you said that wasn’t good enough.”

“Hey, don’t expose me on my own podcast here!”

“Ok, my answer is Singapore,” He changed his answer as he raised his eyebrows at you, almost asking you to dispute his answer.

“I’ll cut this out,” Spoiler, no you did not. “But I don't think that’s the right answer.”

“What do you mean?” KImi gasped as he laughed in disbelief. “It’s my answer!”

“What is so special about Singapore? It's literally just hot, that’s it!”

“Well, yes, but-” Kimi tried but was cut off by your laughing. Eventually, you died down, and he continued, “The atmosphere is insane.”

“The atmosphere is also insane in Monza or Red Bull Ring but ok.”

“I’ve raced there.”

“Oh! I didn’t even think about that!”

“You thought I would prefer a track that I’ve already driven and won at?”

“I forgot the implications of my own question,” You giggled at yourself. “Anyways, I think that’s enough for today’s episode. The blog post will be up tomorrow, and the video will be up by Sunday. We’ll see you on the track!”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[softlysunrays]

━━ my pov of ellie iii

warnings : use of yn, lowkey self inserted uhh, using spotify cause the blend thingy but PLEASE BOYCOTT SPOTIFY GUYS !!!

cr : @idontgetanysleep & pinterest for the pics

ellie's taglist (lmk if u wanna be add / remove) : @ellstronaut , @dinaissoprettyoml , @julienology , @euphternal , @sapphhicslut

also chat, boop me !!

part i ⟶ part ii

DAILY CLICK

DONT BUY TLOU

WAYS TO HELP PALESTINE

⭐️ she’s the type of person who is not into pda that much (but you guys still do pda like holding hands/hand on waist or shoulder & some kisses here n there) BUT SHE LOVE YOU LOUD & PROUDLY!! 🍮 all of her social media bios would be something like “taken by @yourtag” or “e + your initial : ♡” or “i love my wife” KNOWING DAMN WELL YALL ARE NOT MARRY (yet… 😏) 🕯️ her page would be filled with your pictures / something that has you in it. and would caption like “she saw it first” or “yn chose it for me” like okay we get it ellie 🙄✋

⭐️ GUYS HEAR ME OUT!!!! she’s the type that would wait for you to get ready and be like “oh it's okay, i can wait. just make sure to be safe & look pretty f’me” LIKE HIHIRHEUDBSOANA 🍮 would let you do her hair (tiny braids !!!) 🕯️ she so corny guys i just know it

⭐️ omg few months or maybe even weeks of you two talking she would be asking you if you have spotify (boycott spotify guys!!) and ask you if you wanna do a blend, she just wanna know you better through your music taste 🍮 WOULD TOTALLY FREAK OUT WHEN THE RESULTS ARE ABOVE 80 “she’s my soulmate, i knew it” and do hand YES! gesture thingy (pls know what im saying (◞‸◟) ) 🕯️ why, just why, her gf had to live 34764482939 away from her!! (ellie is being dramatic but so real)

⭐️ WOULD LEARN YOUR FAV SONGS TO PLAY ON HER GUITAR AND SENT YOU VIDEOS OF HER PLAYING IT AND BE LIKE “for you, baby” or post it on her story and captioned (?) “for my girl @yourtag” 🍮 i know she makes a lot of playlists for you. started when you were her crush, then you were in the talking stage with her, then the two of you dating, then songs that reminded her of you

🕯️ SHE WOULD SING TO CLAIRO's SONGS WITH YOUU AND DANCING AROUND IN THE KITCHEN OR 3 AM TO THE SMITHS OMGOMG

⭐️ her home & lock screen is your picture, it doesn’t matter if the pictures of both of you tgt or just you. 🍮 matching stuff with you LIKE HELLO YES SHE LOVE IT !!!! immediately drop everything when you ask her if she wanna matches w you, per examples :

🕯️ she just a biggest simp ever!!! ⭐️ loveee calling you especially facetime, she just adore looking at your pretty face, your sweet smile & listen to your cute laughs every time ellie cracks a joke. 🍮 would cut & peel fruits for you, and you do it to her as well 🕯️ text you in 3 in the morning for her & you scolding her for not sleeping

⭐️ blurts out i love you one time and since then she just wont stop saying how much she loves you 🍮 since you guys are in ldr :(, ellie had to give you gifts & all that by giving you a package but the good thing is that you can keep the letters she wrote for you and the drawing she gave you as well !! 🕯️ HER FRICKING JOURNAL IS FULL WITH YOU..... not kidding...and some sweet details that she had noticed about you

⭐️ always tweeting how she wished she's with you and would diff tweet something like " 'if she wanted, she would', then WHY IS SHE NOT TELEPORTING HERE, NEXT TO ME, LAYIN ON MY ARM, WHYYY" (this is so me coded lol)

🍮 omg would do streaks with you to update abt each other's day and also locket

🕯️ timezone sucks so be ready to be wake to 99+ tiktoks ellie had sent you while you were sleeping. (you did the same thing too)

⭐️ movie night every friday !!

🍮 few years of ldr and both you & ellie had decided to moved in together

🕯️ would surprise you once in awhile and vice versa

⭐️ girly would treat the teddy bear that you gifted her like its her CHILD (it is)

🍮 ellie who loves you very dearly

🕯️ ellie is your girlfriend & also now, your roommate (hehe hinted)

REMINDER !!

that neil is a zionist and therefore dont buy his games, doesnt matter remastered or not !!!

before you leave, have you DONATE TO PALESTINE today? ITS FREE TOO !!

[ellstronaut]

I just saw your last post and it'd like to ask, do you have any actual accurate ellie fanfiction recommendations? like, idk, fluff or something

Omg YES anon!!! pls tell me what you think of these and don’t shy away from sliding into my dms (plssss my hands hurt the list is lengthy 💀)

WRITERS THANK U FOR UR SERVICE <3

BY FAR MY MOST FAV FIC EVER WOULD DO ANYTHING TO WIPE MY MEMORY AND RE-READ

(If you wanna know what life was like for Ellie and her loved ones in Jackson > you won’t be disappointed > basically fills in the gaps of Ellie’s journal)

Jackson Days @ehefic (Ellie’s pov)

Oasis @ehefic (Dina’s pov)

FAV DELLIE FICS

(anything by watery sun she writes the perfect blend of fluff-smut-angst not to mention I’ve never read such a unique pov in my life damn)

hey, murderer @watery-sun

mirth (bars a thousand harms) @watery-sun

BRO I SWEAR IT’LL CHANGE UR LIFE

(no tags couldn’t find their @s on tumblr)

More important

You’re all the things I’ve got to remember

There’s no one like you

all I know is there’s no where I’d rather be

caught in the act

Midnight love

MY FAV X READERS FICS COULD READ A MILLION TIMES WISH I COULD TATTOO ON MY BODY

I saw you in a dream @elliesflower

don’t you dare fall in love @ohcaptains

honeybun @blackgrlficsnthings

THIS KINDA ELLIE MAKES ME WEAK; BLURBS, ONE SHOTS, DRABBLES, HCS

you’re doing your nightly skincare routine and a sleepy ellie joins you. @ijtaimes

barista ellie headcannons @ellabsbb

my brain is just filled to the brim of what cuddling with ellie would be like... @elsgooglyeyes

Ellie would definitely go into the store room and just do that silent scream @moodywyrm

bumping into Ellie wasted at a night club @coeurify

thinking about reader giving ellie a haircut and fucking up the front lol. @bellswlw

i wholeheartedly believe she wouldn’t understand the point of clear lipgloss. @elsweetheart

ellie giving reader a piggyback when reader is too tired to walk @elsweetheart

sleepy smut with ellie where they’re keeping quiet to themselves and it’s fluffy @me-and-your-husband

While Ellie leaves her office for a moment, leaving her stream unattended, you sneak in. @elliesmainhoe

THE ATTRACTIVE THINGS ELLIE WILLIAMS DOES @luvsellie

ellie is that girlfriend who arrives at your dorm door the second she receives a "they're not here" text. @dykeomania

thinking about what ellie’s social media probably looks like. @beanlot

Ellie & you get interrupted while being in the moment @losingherface

Dealer!ellie with a reader who bites affectionately @elsweetheart

i just know ellie is the best kisser, even to the point where she gets flustered. @elsweetheart

You and Ellie have just settled onto the farm and you noticed her hair is getting a little long, so as a nice girlfriend you offer to cut it. :) @koitrash

domestic hcs with ellie. w <3 @kurosaaki

clingy!reader wanting ellie's attention when she's playing video games and just like climbing into her lap @elsweetheart

reader is ellie's gf and she's a virgin and Ellie pop her cherry but Ellie is like really sweet and go slow n shit @hotxcheeto

okay but college!ellie being so excited to come to your room on the last day of the semester, @sp4cepunisher

Ellie's love language @astroels

Reader drags her long time girlfriend to meet her parents at their summer vacation home. The two share a very embarrassing moment together @losingherface

[fairuzfan]

hi! i just want to clarify first of all that im pro palestine, but a lot of people in my life aren't. ive been looking for ways to convince them but tbh im kind of lost. ive tried showing reports from websites like al jazeera but that's been dismissed out of hand because they're a middle east jounral and thus must be biased (pointing out that stuff like cnn then must be biased too because they're american hasn't worked lol). so, do you know of more "unbiased" resources/journals/etc, or anything that can argue for palestine? sorry if this is badly worded its pretty late. appreciate everything you've done btw 🇵🇸

No worries, I totally understand where you're coming from.

I guess I wanna ask for clarification—do you know what resources they personally are willing to accept? I can provide from Jewish scholars/voices if that'll help.

The issue is, not many USAmerican/European sources are unbiased, and they often spout imperialist propaganda. So if they're looking primarily for those types resources, I'm afraid I cannot really give you too many.

Here's a segment from an Angela Davis interview from Democracy Now that I like: https://www.democracynow.org/2021/12/28/angela_davis_25th_anniversary_taped_segment

Also her book Freedom Is a Constant Struggle: Ferguson, Palestine, and the Foundations of a Movement: https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Constant-Struggle-Palestine-Foundations/dp/1608465640

Angela Davis is often pretty vocal about the harms of imperialism throughout the world and specifically mentions Palestine in her activism. I suggest looking to her writings also.

Can't say I know too much about DemocracyNow! though.

Some other scholars/orgs are:

Jewish Voice For Peace: https://www.jewishvoiceforpeace.org/

If Not Now: https://www.ifnotnowmovement.org/

Ilan Pappe (he's specifically "Israeli", if that will help at all)

Frank Barat

Noam Chomsky: https://chomsky.info/

Modoweiss: https://mondoweiss.net/ Now I don't totally love Mondoweiss all of the time but if the people in your life are really against learning from non-Palestinian sources they might be ok to introduce them. They do have Palestinian writers and editors tho.

I guess if its more that they're unwilling to trust SWANA news sources, you could show them The Institute for Palestine Studies, which is associated with Columbia University.

This list was a little difficult because I can't say I'd always recommend these sources (except, well, Angela Davis—I really look up to her—and Institute for Palestine Studies), but it could be a good introduction if they're rejecting other places that have more reliable reporting. If they're willing to accept these places/people, then you could move on to more Palestinian led sources.

I don't know if this helps, but you could say that they should listen to the Palestinian's POV because you'd always asked the people directly involved in a situation what their viewpoint is? Might help shift their understanding.

There are more sources that I thought about adding, but I need to look into them a little more. I might add on to this list later.

Let me know if any of this helps at all or even if it didn't, I'm genuinely really interested to see what they have to say.

[minustwofingers]

exoplanet p.6 (ellie’s journals)

summary: you’ve won the life lottery as one of the few people on earth with parents who gained admittance to the most prestigous safezone in the world after the outbreak. but after a lab accident sends you out to jackson, wyoming, real life hits you fast. it’s a good thing that a hot lesbian finds u. (lol). mean ellie at first, slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers, fem reader asf

warnings: a significantly different writing voice! this is going to be a very different vibe from the other chapters since i had to write it as i imagine ellie would (which is a lot different than i do). slight nsfw content (mdni), language, mentions of violence/gore, angst, ellie’s pov is actually really depressing

a/n: soooo i know it’s been almost 3 months...and i’m really sorry about that! a lot of stuff happened in my life and i kind of fell off writing for quite some time. but i finish series, so i’m going to get through exoplanet in its entirety so i can finally give you all closure. some preliminary notes: know that these are modeled after how i imagine ellie would journal if she did journal this much. canonically she didn’t do that much writing that follows a narrative like it does here. i think it’s honestly a little ooc for her to be emotionally responsible enough to talk out her feelings, but given that there’s no other way to tell her side of the story (save for legit rewriting it from her perspective, which would take another 6 months or so and be horrifically repetitive), i decided to just suck it up and write it. i’m sorry if it sounds awkward, since she definitely doesn’t write in a voice that i have much experience with. the next chapter will be better!

word count: 5.5k

tags~ @intrnetdoll @dazedshoon @lovecaraya @pctcr @sariyaflowr @loser-keiji @prettyplant0 @666findgod @sawaagyapong @rystarkov @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie @galacticstxrdust @elliesbabygirl​ @pinkazelma @ariianelle @lu002 @blairfox04 @sparkleswonderland @elliesflower @muthafuckingstargirl @elliewilliamsissubermommyoml @eviestevie-14 @quicksilversg1rl @guacala @crtcrp @overtrred28

(i haven’t updated this yet bc my tags aren’t working)

a special special SPECIAL thanks to both @roarriita and @elliesflower​ for being soooo sexy and betaing for me. you both are so wonderful and helped me sm in feeling good enough to post this :)

without further ado, enjoy ellie’s journals!

January 20th, 2038

Today’s been…fucking…

I don’t even know where to start. I don’t get why this sort of shit always happens to me. First it was being bit and somehow surviving. Then it was getting carted off across the country. And now some girl basically falls out of the sky, claiming that she comes from some sort of paradise up North?

I’ll spare the immediate details. I don’t think I’ll forget the basic stuff—her name, the way she looked clutching at her knees in the clearing and shaking. That stupid shirt she had on and that expensive scarf.

I still want to believe that she’s just a liar who happened to get lucky with running into us, but even without Joel vouching for her story, I don’t think I’d ever be able to buy that she’d been living in the same world as us. I’ve never met someone without scars before. I didn’t know that there were people out there who didn’t have marked up arms and faces. Or people without calluses. Did you know that hands can be totally smooth?

Anyway. Tommy says that he’ll try and reach out across the contacts he has. Joel has her living right down the hall from me in the meantime, so now I have to share my bathroom. Hopefully the Terranovan authorities are good at finding people. She takes so fucking long to shower. It’s a wonder the whole compound still has hot water.

[One page of drawings follows: Dina smiling in the snow on her horse, Joel playing his guitar]

January 25th, 2038

Maria says that they’re thinking about breeding Shimmer soon. I know she told me because that means I’ll need to ride another horse for a little until she recovers and I know that we need another generation of foals, but it still made me cringe for Shimmer’s sake. She’s too free-spirited to be a mother. She doesn’t deserve that.

I went stargazing last night. It was pretty. Lots of shooting stars. I ran into the girl while I was coming back from the meadow. She gave me a weird look, and I could tell she wanted to ask me where I’d been but kept her mouth shut. Sometimes I regret dropping off that bag of clothes. I really fucking liked that gray sweatshirt, actually. I’m not even joking. It looks weird to see it on someone else.

[Half a page of drawing follows of the night sky with labeled constellations]

February 5th, 2038

Long time no see. I’ve been pretty busy with patrols and helping Maria with securing the walls. Joel made me try some of that coffee that our new house guest brought. It was just as awful as I remembered, but he seemed happy. So one point for the space girl. I guess.

Dina’s been hanging around more. She just broke up with Jessie (yes, again). She swears that it’s for good this time, but I’m not so sure. She also talks a lot about Y/N and what little detail she’s gathered about her life back in Terranova. I thought teasing her by asking her if she had a crush on Y/N would make her talk less about it, but it just made things worse.

I miss when things were normal.

[One page of drawings follows: one of Shimmer in cross-ties, another of a girl’s face, half-finished with the face scribbled out]

February 12th, 2038

Today I’m sad. I’m in bed with that book about astronomy that Joel nabbed for me on patrol a while ago and there’s a section I wanted to read that’s completely waterlogged. It shouldn't be a surprise. It’s decades old and has survived through an apocalypse. Normally things like this don’t bug me much because I’m so used to it. Half of my Savage Starlight collection is damaged. I don’t think I’ll ever find the first book to actually complete the series, and that’s okay, because I’ve never expected anything more. But now that I know that there’s a world out there where I’d never have problems like this, stuff like this hurts. It’s so stupid. I’m lucky to be alive. Compared to what’s left of the world population, I live a much cushier life than most. But for the first time in a while, I’m wishing for more.  

“Greed is the enemy of happiness” is what Maria would say if I ever said this kind of shit out loud. But is it really? Or is it just realizing what life can be?

[Half a page of a drawing of the solar system, with each planet labeled]

February 22nd, 2038

Maria let me pick the sire for Shimmer’s foal. It felt kind of gross, to be honest. I asked Maria if there was any way for Shimmer to choose and I was only sort of joking, but she just laughed anyway and patted my back. I won’t have to worry about finding a new horse for another two seasons or so, she told me. It’ll be weird not having her for a little.

She also told me that there was still no word from anyone who knew anything about Terranova. She said this to me in this placating voice, like she thought that I was going to punch a hole in the wall or something after hearing it. That seems to be common when it comes to people talking about Y/N and me. I don’t know why so many people think I don’t like her staying with us.

I don’t, by the way. Let me be clear. But I mostly feel indifferent about her now. She doesn’t bother me as much anymore, not since she started getting out of the house. I think she might be helping in the gardens, but I’ve never actually asked. We don’t talk a whole ton. I don’t think she likes me all that much.

[A drawing of Shimmer’s head poking over her stall door that takes up one page]

March 2nd, 2038

Today was finally our first nice day of the year. I would’ve enjoyed it more if the bird that lives in the tree outside my window hadn’t blown me out of bed at 4 in the fucking morning. I’m exhausted now. It’s been a long day. Joel says I need to take Y/N out on patrol soon. Why, I have no idea. Maybe he just wants me to actually befriend her or something, and I do nothing but patrols now. He can’t possibly expect her to be a good patrol partner.

Thankfully, I checked the logs when I came back. The route he wants me to cover with her has been the quietest all season. I doubt we’ll run into anything. If we do, I’ll probably be able to handle it. Hopefully.

[Half a page of doodles, mostly of nature and wildlife with the exception of a half-finished doodle of an arm clad in a fabric that drapes like silk and a hand with polished nails]

March 3rd, 2038

Many surprising things were learned today. I can’t believe it’s illegal to be gay in Terranova. Sorry. I shouldn’t laugh. It’s just—out of all the things they could be bothered by, it’s that? Really?

March 12th, 2038

I haven’t been good at journaling recently. I don’t really want to talk about why. You know why.

[Six pages of drawings, with many unfinished doodles of Y/N—including but not limited to her on her horse, her reading on the couch, and one with her sitting in what is a very loose interpretation of a classroom, taking notes]

March 13th, 2038

I will feel more normal tomorrow. Hopefully.

[Two pages of drawings, all of Y/N. One is her bent over a book, the other is her smiling up at you]

March 14th, 2038

I did something really stupid. I think I should probably just document this here so I don’t accidentally drunkenly spill it all out to Dina at the next bonfire. This is so embarrassing. I don’t get why I feel this way. It’s so stupid, you know? To feel anything towards someone who’s so…I don’t know. Different.

She gives me the weirdest looks sometimes. I can’t tell what they mean. It feels like she’s judging me. And why wouldn’t she be? I bet all the girls she spends her time around back home are just like her—perfect, orderly, pretty, proper. The day before I took her patrolling she gawked at the shorts I was wearing. It was borderline offensive. Actually, fuck that. It wasn’t borderline. It was offensive. You don’t just stare at people like that. She should know that.

Anyway, I invited her over to my room last night. Normal, right? Because we’ve been doing that a little since I took her on patrol, by the way. I’m not sure if I mentioned that before. But this time I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m…I don’t know. Creepy? Strange? Scary? She told me that she thought I was intimidating. And then I called her “untouched”, like how some old-timer devout Christian wackjob or whatever would describe virginity. It was so fucking weird of me. I don’t know what got into me, but she kept doing this thing where she kicked my foot with hers or touched my knee and it just threw me off. It took me forever to fall asleep last night—I kept replaying what I’d said to her, especially how I’d told her that she wouldn’t have made it if she were me like I was some sort of hardcore survivalist. I think I embarrassed her. I’m never doing anything like this again. I’m going to be dead sober every time I see her from now on.

I’ll stop talking about that. Y/N did come back after I’d made a fool of myself and showed me her collection of movies, so maybe it wasn’t so bad. I haven’t watched any movies since I was with Cat. When we first started dating, I’d invite her over and she’d sit right where Y/N did last night. I’m trying to not think of the implications, because it’s space girl, and she’s going home sometime soon.

[Three pages of drawings follow—some nature drawings of ferns and moths, others of Y/N with wet hair, her knees tucked up to her chin like she’d been in Ellie’s bed that night]

March 19th, 2038

It’s the Spring Equinox. That’s the first thing Y/N told me this morning when she saw me in the kitchen this morning. She gave me a mini lecture on what that meant for the planet’s axis tilt and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I already knew, since she seemed really excited to tell me.

I made a horrible discovery yesterday, by the way. Maria came up to me and told me that Tommy had decided to reach out to some of his other buddies up North to see if they had any connections to Terranova, and for the first time, I felt myself hoping that it wouldn’t work.

It’s awful. I shouldn’t be thinking like this. Even in Jackson, where things are comparatively much better than the rest of the world, there’s risk. Just this winter, one family had to be kicked out when they were found hiding an infected son. No one here is completely safe, just safer. I shouldn’t be selfish. Y/N needs to go where she’s meant to be, where there’s no chance of infection or invasion. I’ll be fine. I just need to get over whatever this is.

Speaking of her, I need to go get her to tell her that we’re heading out on patrol in just a few minutes. Fingers crossed she doesn’t accidentally shoot me, but Joel swore up and down that she knows how to handle a gun now. Sure. Haha.

I’m back. It’s the middle of the night and she only just left my room. I don’t know how much detail I need to go into—chances are I won’t forget this. But for bookkeeping purposes: patrol did not go so hot. I had to give her stitches without any local anesthesia. I’ve never given stitches to anyone nearly in my lap before. I was really nervous, too. I don’t think I’ve ever had to focus so much on keeping my hands steady when it came to stitching someone up before, not even with Joel.

I’m starting to think that maybe I was wrong about thinking that she didn’t like me. I still can’t tell exactly what she thinks of me, and I know that it’s a really bad fucking idea to be entertaining thoughts like these, but tonight she did something that made me reconsider. She got under the covers with me, and instead of moving away to keep us from touching, she rested her head next to mine on the pillow.

I hope she couldn’t hear how much my heart was racing. People can’t hear that kind of stuff, right? Even if they’re close?

I’m being ridiculous. There’s no way she—No. She doesn’t see me like that.

March 21st, 2038

She rested her head on my shoulder today. I don’t know what to think of it. If she was normal and grew up like the rest of us did, I would know exactly what to think. But she’s not normal, and it’s not fair of me to treat her like she is. Maybe this is, like, a culturally acceptable thing back from where she grew up. Maybe rich people just cuddle each other all the time. I wouldn’t fucking know, and unfortunately no one in this godforsaken town can help, because there’s a distinct lack of what Maria calls the “bourgeoisie”. They’re all either dead or back where Y/N grew up, doing whatever rich snobs do.

Even if it is normal for her, I feel like I can’t stop analyzing everything she does. She seems more nervous around me than she does anyone else, but she lingers like she can’t help herself. I’ve noticed that she stumbles over her words and touches me much more than is really necessary. Or at least I think she does—maybe I’m just imagining things.

But even if it means what I think it does, I can’t let myself think like this. It’s not fair to her. No one deserves to live here if they have the choice. At least the people out here know how to handle it. She doesn’t, and I don’t want her to turn into the type of person who does.

When I stitched her up and teased her about being weak and sensitive, I think she thought I was insulting her. I try not to think about it, but if I let myself wallow too much, I’ll wonder what kind of person I’d be if I wasn’t so jaded. Maybe I’d draw more, or read more, or write more. Maybe I’d be an easier person to love. I didn’t get to choose how I turned out. It just happened to me.

So if she has the choice, I’m going to do everything I can to help her make the right one. I don’t want her to be like this.

March 29th, 2038

I had a dream about Riley last night. I haven’t had one of those in years, not since I was traveling with Joel. We were back in the mall, and Riley had just turned the lights on as a surprise. I had this feeling then, like I was being given a second chance. That I could set things straight and do what was right. I woke up before I could insist that we leave.

[A drawing takes up half of the next page. It’s a crude depiction of the mall Riley turned in.]

April 4th, 2038

It’s the middle of the night again. I can’t sleep. I’m so disappointed with myself about what I did tonight with Y/N. At the time, it seemed like a really good idea. She likes me back, apparently. I was right about everything that I wrote about earlier, I guess. But it certainly doesn’t feel like I thought it would.

It’s not like there’s no part of me that isn’t thrilled that she feels the same way. That’s why I gave in and slept with her. But even when she told me how she felt, even before I completely lost my self-control, something heavy was already hanging over me. Regret, maybe. Or guilt. I don’t know. What I do know is that this can’t last. I can’t make this good for her like I want to. She needs to go back, and she needs to be able to feel like she can make that choice without feeling like she’s leaving anything good behind.

I’m not a spiritual person. but even so, I can’t help but feel like that dream of Riley was a sign. This is my second chance. I’m not going to fuck it up this time. I’ve already been an accomplice of so much suffering. Y/N is going home, and I’ll never see her again when she does. That’s that.

It took all I had left in me in the end to kick her out. She looked so hurt, and the fact that she tried to hide it made it even worse. I wish I could tell her why this can’t work, but I don’t think she’d understand.

[A drawing of Y/N kissing Ellie’s palm follows, her hair slightly mussed]

April 6th, 2038

I need to stop making rash decisions like knocking on her door late at night and asking her to come over. I really don’t know what’s gotten into me, because whenever I see her now, I can’t help but freeze up. Like last night, when she kissed me and touched my face and told me she thought I was a good person. I panicked and told her—well, nevermind. I don’t really want to repeat it here. It was mean, but I didn’t know what else I could do to get her to stop.

She was already tearing up by the time she left. I had to sit down and breathe deeply for a few minutes before I was sure I wasn’t going to be sick. I don’t really think I want to write more about this right now. It just makes me sad how unfair this all is. Of course the one time after Cat that I meet someone I really like it just has to be in one of the cruelest scenarios possible. I just have no idea what to do.

[Five pages of drawings follow of Y/N in bed, her head tilted back against the pillow, her eye’s half lidded, and her mouth slightly agape. Ellie redraws this multiple times, x-ing out parts that don’t seem quite right]

April 10th, 2038

I know this is none of my business, but she’s been spending a lot of time with Dina lately. She nearly got herself killed getting a gift for me with Dina yesterday, which feels like some sort of especially cruel joke. The universe isn’t being very fucking subtle right now.

If what I’m worried about is right, at least Dina has the option to come with her up North. She’d test negative.

April 20th, 2038

I would really like it if I could have one short break from the misery that’s my life right now. I turned 20 yesterday, accidentally introduced Y/N to my ex, proceeded to get much drunker than I meant to, completely fell off my rocker and asked Y/N to stay the night, and then discovered this morning that not only has Terranova found Y/N but that my strategy of keeping Y/N at arm’s length completely failed.

She wants me to come with her, and she’s threatening to stay here otherwise. I did the only thing that I could think to do and snapped at her.

I’m so tired of this. I hate having to act like I don’t care. This is the third time now that I’ve had to say something nasty to her to keep her from getting too close. I just want to get in bed and sleep until she leaves and I can pretend like nothing ever happened and that everything is normal.

[One page of drawings of Y/N passed out in her bed and Y/N grinning while holding a lopsided cake]

April 28th, 2038

I know I haven’t been writing much again. Sorry about that. I just can’t bear to think about my life right now. I know I should be relieved—this is what I wanted. I wanted her to go where it’s best for her.

But there’s still that selfish part of me that keeps me up at night. Y/N is going to leave this place never knowing how I feel about her. Logically, that should be what I want. This way I won’t need to say a real goodbye. I know I won’t need to now, since she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. It’s really fucking immature of me to be so hurt by what she must think of me now, but I can’t stop.

I wonder how long it will take for me to stop feeling sad about this. I’ve never had to process anything like this where there’s nothing I can do. With Riley and Sam, I at least got to heal from the knowledge that I was going to help make the vaccine to save the world. But losing Y/N just because of where we come from is totally meaningless. I can go forward knowing that I made it easy for her to make the right decision, but that only goes so far.

I don’t know how I’m going to handle this. I’m going to practically live with Dina so I don’t need to be alone for the first few weeks.

I wish May 8th would just come already so she can go away and I can get on with my life.

May 1st, 2038

Things have changed some. Joel cornered me in the kitchen last night and told me that I needed to grow up and just appreciate the rest of the time I had left with Y/N. I was going to agree and try to walk past him, but he stopped me and told me that he needed me to escort Y/N. I guess he’s right. She can’t go alone, and Joel and Tommy are getting a little too old for week-long expeditions into the wilderness.

He also told me that I need to apologize to her and make things right, saying shit like I’d regret it forever if things ended between us like this. I don’t want to admit it, but I think he’s right. When I told him that she’d originally threatened to stay if I didn’t go with her, he blinked, hard. Then he told me that he had an idea.

I’m faking it. I’m telling her that I’m going, even though I’m going to leave her when she gets picked up. I don’t know how I’m going to pull it off. When I told her in the meadow last night, she was so happy. I know it’s really sappy and cliche to say this, but I felt my heart shatter, bit by bit. I’m not a very good liar, not to people who are important to me. But I suppose I’ve been lying to her all this time, kicking her out of my room and telling her that I didn’t want anything more with her.

I can do this, I think. I have to do this, or else she might threaten to stay, and I don’t think I have it in me to be cruel again. Not to her. I guess I’ll just trick myself into feeling like I’m actually coming with her, like we have a chance of actually being together. I don’t know. We’ll see.

[One drawing of Y/N laying down in the meadow that takes up half a page]

May 3rd, 2038

It’s easier than I expected. Y/N sleeps over in my room at night, and if I don’t think too hard about it, I can pretend like things will always be like this.

I’m getting to be such a sap, though. I almost broke down in the bathroom today while I was getting ready. It was over the stupidest thing—a toothpaste bottle. Y/N always folds it so neatly, making a perfect, tight spiral of plastic near the end. It used to really bother me when I first had to share with her (because who does that—it’s weird and doesn’t do anything since she doesn’t manage to squeeze out the extra in the bottom anyways), but the thought of throwing it out when it finally emptied and having to find another one that’ll never be folded again hit me and suddenly I was counting my inhales and exhales. I don’t really give a shit about toothpaste. It’s just that it was the moment that I realized that she’s really going to be gone soon, you know? Slowly but surely, the evidence of her stay here will be wiped away and replaced. Someday I’ll forget all the little details about her.

She’s knocking on my door. I need to stop being so depressed and go see her before she picks up that something’s wrong.

[One small doodle of Y/N smiling and rolling her eyes while brushing her teeth]

May 6th, 2038

Dina’s coming now. Y/N told me this morning after she went to say goodbye. I feel really shitty about this. I guess I should tell her that I’m not going now, because this way Y/N needs to go home to get Dina the help she needs, but I just can’t bring myself to. I’ll have to escort both of them to the pickup spot anyway since Dina’s weaker now that she’s pregnant, and the thought of having to spend a full week with Y/N after she knew I lied to her makes my skin crawl. I can’t tell who I’m trying to protect by doing this—me or her. Maybe both.

I’m losing my two favorite people here, and they don’t even know it yet. But this is the best option. This is my chance to finally do some good in the world.

May 7th, 2038

I’m about to go stargazing with Y/N for the last time. I don’t think I’ll be writing in here again until I get back. I don’t want to risk losing this while I’m out in case something crazy happens. Which it probably will, but I canonically happen to be really good at living when shit hits the fan. Also—I don’t imagine Y/N to be a particularly nosy person, but if she ever came across this and thought it was a book or something, it would make things really awkward. So, you’re staying tucked carefully under my bed until I come back later this month.

I don’t know how to handle this sort of goodbye. I don’t really know how to handle any sort of goodbye, I guess, but at least I’ve been through them before. I may not do it well, but I know how to live when people I love die. But this isn’t like that. No one is dying (hopefully), and more importantly, I know it’s a goodbye this time. I see it coming on the horizon and I can’t even tell anyone about it. How does anyone deal with that? How does anyone cope?

Y/N’s knocking on my door now. I need to go before I start thinking even more and do something stupid like start crying or whatever.

I’ll be back in about two weeks.

June 1st, 2038

Sorry for not writing. It’s been pretty shitty, actually. It took me 5 extra days to get home because some scavengers gave me trouble. I hardly slept for most of them. I ran out of ammo about 4 days out and had to use my knife for everything I ran into until I was able to raid the cabinets of this abandoned cabin. Nearly got taken out by a clicker, too. It was not fun. It was especially not fun because I was not feeling super great to begin with, for obvious reasons.

Things haven’t gotten any better since getting back to Jackson. Y/N didn’t take her stupid Exoplanetary Systems textbook and now I’m struggling with whether or not I should throw it out. The rational side of me says to keep it because it was published after the outbreak and probably contains updated information that isn’t anywhere else. The rest of me doesn’t even want to look at the stars anymore because it reminds me of her.

It’s really hard not to blame her for ruining everything. I can’t go out and ride my own horse without thinking about the first time we went on patrol together and she dropped my gun and nearly killed one of us. And I can’t even relax in my own home, because I’ve spent almost every night with her since March in my bed. Sometimes when I hear a creak in the middle of the night I assume it’s her walking down to the bathroom or getting water until it hits me again that she’s never coming back.

I know I’m being melodramatic. There are many other worse problems I could be having right now. But I don’t even have my best friend anymore. I wonder if Dina and Y/N are angry with me for lying. I wonder if they’re settling in okay. I hope that Y/N manages to fix whatever her research was and that Dina gets better.

[Twenty pages of drawings of Y/N and Dina together. Some are snippets of them on their expedition to the pickup site. Others are pictures of Y/N and Dina walking around with smiles on their faces in what looks to be a city]

June 21st, 2038

It’s been over a month since I’ve last seen her. I had a breakdown while getting ready for bed when I realized that I didn’t remember what her voice sounded like anymore.

[Ten pages of half-finished drawings, each with its face scribbled over]

June 28th, 2038

I don’t think I really remember what she looks like—not exactly. I’ve been trying to draw her because I’m still in the habit of making decisions that are definitely not good for my mental state. I just can’t do it, and it isn’t for the lack of trying. Every time I get to her eyes I keep drawing something that looks wrong, but I can never tell why. I compare it to my earlier drawings of her from when we first met and it feels like meeting her for the first time again.

Joel says it’ll pass and that he’s proud of me for doing the right thing. Jessie and I have been hanging out more. Even if he won’t admit it, I can tell he’s miserable without Dina. But he understands why she had to go—just like how I feel about Y/N. And Dina too, of course. Jackson feels like a ghost town without her.

July 17th, 2038

I haven’t been writing or drawing in here for a while, I know. I was going to just go ahead and start a new journal—you know the one that Maria gave me for Christmas with the dark blue cover—but it didn’t feel right to just stop without explaining. Otherwise I’ll feel like an asshole for wasting so much paper.

I don’t want to move on from what happened with Y/N and Dina. I really don’t, but I don't think I have a choice. If I keep going on like this, I’ll never be able to live normally again. I’m just sick and tired of being sad all of the time. So I’m not going to write here anymore. I don’t think it’s realistic for me to forget all about it, because I don’t want to forget her. Not really. But I guess if I want to get better, I’ll need something different. So, here’s that. The beginning of my fresh start. “Fresh start” and you call me overdramatic!! haha. Y/N was here!

(You left this on your nightstand. I promise I didn’t read too much. I opened it because I thought it was your sketchbook. I’m going to put this back since I hear you walking down the hall now.)

ok as an aside my blog is broken so my stuff isn’t notifying people when i tag/showing up on dashes or in tags. please reblog if you’re comfortable so people can actually find this! thank you!

final a/n: i totally get it if this wasn’t quite your cup of tea this time—i just really wanted to iron out ellie’s pov before their reunion in the end. which is happening and not a spoiler because i have always promised a hea! this was a change in pace for the story and i promise you that the next chapter will be more normal/align more with my normal writing style. i have also changed my mind (probably) and have decided to stick with writing an epilogue! so two more chapters are coming before this is totally over. thank you so much for waiting and being so patient! i love you all dearly ok bye bye now

[celestie0]

notes on kickoff ch.7

hellooo if you're here thank you for taking the interest! i just had some creative notes i wanted to get off my chest with the release of ch.7 lol i felt compelled to do so with this one i'm basically journaling here. you can read this after reading ch7 here!

I. on gojo's feelings

as for why didn't gojo just tell reader how he felt at the end of the chapter, and instead only says what he does. i think i rewrote this ending like five different times, he was never supposed to tell her at this point based on my story planning, but i did explore the idea of a dramatic confession here regardless, and it didn't fit for lots of different reasons for one, i think he's finally able to put himself in reader's shoes. it's true he's pretty dense and obviously has commitment issues/valid fears that keep him from opening up, but that still doesn't mean he hasn't hurt reader in a lot of different ways already. he realizes, whether intentionally or not, he's led her on and to do a complete turnaround within a few hours while she's already trying to process rejection as she is clearly withdrawn from him i believed would've been selfish on his part, and could possibly cause even more hurt over the fact that he could come off ingenuine. gojo is finally emotionally aware of her enough to recognize it, but he's not a perfect person so it still slips through that he's distraught at the thought of never seeing her again. in general i'm of the opinion that if someone asks for space, you respect that unless they say otherwise of note, just because he realizes that he has these feelings, doesn't necessary change his fears, as no single moment can undo years of trauma, so i think that's why he bites his tongue too. i'm not keen on making this a "woman fixes man" story but i moreso want to embrace the sentiment that you don't need to resolve every single bad thing that's ever happened to you in order to embrace love or happiness.

II. on gojo's commitment issues

i know it was brought up in the first gojo pov that he has issues committing to just one woman, but i wanted this chapter to reveal that it's really just his fear of opening up to people due to the still raw loss he feels of losing someone he loved. i aim with his pov to be more of a stream of his own consciousness rather than from an omniscient observer, which may explain the ambiguity. he's not sure if he's able to open up to a person in a way he knows is normal and healthy, so he settles on shallow connections instead. just wanted to clear this up, and say that it won't be any sort of plot point in which he struggles to be sincere or faithful when he seriously wants to commit to someone as he has no issues with that if he truly wants to be with them (unlike the whore he's been so far in the series lmao)

III. on strawberry vanilla soda

btw i've never had this flavor of soda i'm not even sure where i came up w it loool or if it even exists. i was kind of toying with the idea of gojo seeing reader's message on the can during the match, and that would maybe help him get more focused on the field (sooo sports romance cliche but i still love it haha) but i settled on him seeing it afterwards to kinda parallel the clumsiness he's had with reader so far. for some reason, the universe just doesn't want him to get his timing right with her lol

IV. on angst/conflict

i know ch7 was a bit differentttt less gojo x reader and more just gojo lmfao, it was also a bit angsty. it definitely won't stay angsty throughout the remaining chapters. this was just gojo's lore drop chapter LOL. there will still obviously be angst here and there, but i've got a lot of fun, cute, tense, silly, passionate, messy scenes still planned similar to ch5&6 because i prefer writing those kinds of scenes haha. ultimately this story was always meant to be a full-circle romance, so ch7 was to lay some of the emotional groundwork that gets brought up as the story builds to its climax

that's all i have to saayyy if you actually read this whole thing i love you?? lol. ch7 really emotionally resonated with me as i wrote it, both as someone who understands how gojo feels but also as someone who understands how reader feels, and if it resonated with you too then that makes me very happy and that's ultimately every writer's dream haha. was very cathartic to share these thoughts. i hope to see you in the next oneeee <3 have a wonderful rest of your day!

[obstinaterixatrix]

Do u know any good mob psycho 100 fanfics?? Or authors??

well obviously my sister but I’m guessing you’re the same anon so 1) you already know her fics 2) you want different recs from what’s on her list (some of them being fics I rec’d to her lol). recs will skew heavily seri/rei and I’m just going through my bookmarks so it’s gonna be most recently read to oldest read. also seconding sister’s recs of bobmoss and crookedturtle. but I’ll add a fic from each anyway because I already wrote something for one while I was drafting this (oops)

Recollection by CowardlyBean

This is the journal of missing 31 year old Reigen Arataka, distributed with permission from friends and family. The version presented in this document has been kindly edited with added commentary by a loyal customer of his. -Editor’s Note

gen, experimental and in progress at 14k so definitely deserves more love than it’s getting. inspired by house of leaves; as the summary says, it’s some rando writing annotations about reigen’s journal, but Something Weird Is Going On. the 4th chapter updated so I actually need to catch up. also, sister rec’d this fic to me

Like Acid Reflux, or Love by partingxshot

Dating Reigen is like dating a single dad—only with more children, weirder scruples, and an extreme ruthlessness vis-à-vis group takoyaki discounts. He's not hot enough for this.

OR: "Me, You and Steve" by Garfunkel and Oates but with fifteen million teenagers.

OR: Outsider POV exploring Reigen’s dedication to his gaggle of bizarre children through an ill-fated dating attempt.

OR: Serizawa gets bruxism.

gen(/pre-relationship seri/rei), oneshot, 7k. oc/reigen breakup lmao. extremely funny concept, extremely good execution

Dream Dial by Alakazamboni

For the better part of nine years, Arataka has proudly worked in customer service at a behemoth of a company. At least, that's what he remembers, but a strange illness and a mysterious caller keeps trying to convince him otherwise. It doesn't help that this caller has the power to distort reality.

seri/rei, in progress, 16k. great uncanny atmosphere, and also reigen is trapped in time prison as a miserable office worker. hasn’t been updated for a while but read it anyway, the stoping point is fine

What We Make by crookedturtle

Reigen and Tome are kidnapped from the Spirits and Such office to be used as leverage against Mob. They have two goals: to contact the outside world, and keep each other safe. In doing so they engage in a dangerous game of lies and manipulation with their captors—a game with potentially deadly consequences.

gen (bg seri/rei), complete, 36k. Good for whump and high stakes interpersonal maneuvering & drama. I liked how the story extends beyond rescue and goes into how everyone navigates the fallout

Man's Best Friend by bobmoss

A cursed dog gets left at Spirits and Such. Anyone who pets it is doomed to die a horrible death.

Reigen, of course, pets it.

seri/rei, oneshot, 4k. funny and cute and sweet :) there’s a very charming tentative & tender vibe

heart line by ruthwrites

It doesn’t really matter, he reminds himself. He’s making a change, just like all of Reigen’s clients. What’s on his hands isn’t set in stone. He just has to make sure Reigen doesn’t see it— even if it might feel nice to have that steady attention, Reigen’s hands that are so much nicer than Serizawa’s folding around his.

(or: Reigen starts offering palm readings as a service, leading to Serizawa having to confront his feelings for his boss.)

seri/rei, oneshot, 6k. getting together fluff, a fun light read that also highlights serizawa’s insecurities—the internal narration has good character voice

If you won't believe me when I say it, believe me when I don't by deathdefied

Two years after Reigen invited Serizawa to work for him, he still can't quite categorize his feelings for his coworker. Instead of actually dealing with those feelings like an adult and talking to his friend, he decided to get really paranoid and overthink everything Serizawa does.

seri/rei, complete, 26k. reigen drives himself nuts lmao

Obvious by skeilig

Tome’s perspective on Reigen and Serizawa’s developing relationship.

gen (but about seri/rei), oneshot, 3k. I like outsider perspective getting together fics, especially when the perspective character is like ‘I’m actually not invested in this except when it affects me directly’

Cover Me by flecksofpoppy

Reigen’s shadow seems longer as the days move forward, more solitary. The cuts on his face heal and the ache in his bones go away, but a new sting replaces it. It’s loneliness, the thing he had managed to avoid ever since a primary school-aged kid who could make cups float stumbled into his office so many years ago.

seri/rei, oneshot, 3k. getting together fic that shows off a little of reigen’s gloomier side, it’s cute

loved you just a little too much by shcherbatskayas

You learn how to let go.

(It doesn't come naturally.)

gen(ish), oneshot, 2k. 2nd person character study of serizawa’s relationship with touichiro, I liked the ambivalence; effectively captures development over time with a relatively short wordcount.

offering genuine help with genuine results by suitablyskippy

“The curse was pretty clear on me not telling lies,” concedes Reigen. “It was pretty clear on me telling the truth. But,” as he lifts one finger, already sliding into the same educational tone he generally uses for imparting wisdom to Mob about life and love and the overall holistic benefits of making sure he’s always available for unexpected overtime work on weekends, “telling the truth isn’t necessarily the same as being honest, is it?”

“You’re the professional liar,” says Dimple. “You tell me.”

(Being cursed to only tell the truth and being cursed with Dimple as an employee are pretty much equally bad, as far as Reigen's stress levels are concerned.)

gen, oneshot, 2k. the tags include friends with no benefits whatsoever, which is very apt. Very funny to have reigen and dimple be petty and shady

a slightly more miraculous miracle by suitablyskippy

“Rumour has it that something impossible’s happened. Something that could never have happened. That shouldn’t have been able to happen.” In a single slick move Mezato produces a tiny voice recorder from an inside pocket, flips it open and active, and holds it up before Mob’s mouth to ask him, in a tone of devastating intensity: “Do you know anything about… a miracle, Mob-kun?”

Mob doesn’t hesitate. “We had maths homework to hand in,” he says. “But now we don’t have to. We don’t even have to go to the lesson.”

(The sun is shining, the birds are singing, Salt Middle School has been closed by an unexplained miracle, and the only thing wrong in Spice City is the fact that nothing is even slightly wrong at all.)

teru/mob, incomplete, 55k. for the most part I haven’t been repeating authors on this list, but listen. listen to me. I need you to listen. it is extremely unlikely for this fic to ever be completed. but hark, lest this sad probability turn you away and leave you dispassionately scrolling to the next fic, I need you (you specifically) to know that if I were in the same room as you, I would be wrestling the phone/mouse/trackpad/touchscreen/etc from your hands and furiously clicking the link. when I bookmarked this fic in 2017 I described it as having “some breathtakingly sensical prose and the funniest misunderstandings I’ve ever read”. trust me from seven years ago. open your heart.

skylight by inexhaustible

unconnected snapshots in what might, in some worlds, be something a little like recovery.

seri/rei, oneshot, 2k. character study that nails the tension of an escalating romantic atmosphere.

come on, come on, come over (take it off your shoulder) by mortarsmayfall

Reigen's free hand cradles Serizawa's head, curled under his ear just so to turn it for a better angle. He feels his pulse pound under Reigen's fingers, shivers just the slightest bit. If Reigen notices, he doesn't say anything about it.

seri/rei, oneshot, 2k. when I first read this I saved it as a private bookmark because I was so embarrassed by the sheer intimacy of haircuts with severely unresolved sexual tension. I’m guessing this was written after studio bones gave us reigen cutting serizawa’s hair. crumbs no more; for once we had a feast to enjoy. short & sweet getting together fic

Off-White by reigreitz

Some habits are tells.

seri/rei, oneshot, 1k. snapshots of pre-relationship and established relationship scenes, I’m quite fond of it. on my first reading I’m pretty sure I remember not paying attention to the habit piece at all (even with it being right in the summary) so at the last scene I was hit by the double whammy of ‘oh so that was what serizawa was reacting to’ and ‘AW… THAT’S SWEET…’; I think the fic does a great job of hiding/not acknowledging certain things the perspective character knows and is reacting to, which makes it fun to reread and pinpoint what exactly serizawa’s previously more opaque train of thought was. like, it’s the same stuff, but you get to read into more nuance.

the seven stages of falling in love by reigen arataka by matsunoble

You suppose one of the weirdest times to realize you've fallen deeply and irrevocably in love is when it's fuck o'clock in the morning and you're blearily checking your fridge for leftover curry.

seri/rei, oneshot, 3k. I was quite taken by the mundane (and sometimes unappealing) descriptions of love, and I like when serizawa has the upper hand

Mr. Psychic by beefstatic

Looks like trouble in Spice City...

seri/rei, oneshot, 4k. Serizawa Acts Like An Intimidating Bodyguard During Tense/Shady Situations. fun emphasis on that potential aspect of his character, I like how it’s done.

Late by hamlingo

For the first few days after hiring Serizawa, Reigen couldn’t help but be alarmed when the door opened at eight o’clock sharp in the mornings. He got used to it eventually, and in a month’s time he was more surprised when the door didn’t creak open right on time.

This was one of those mornings.

seri/rei, oneshot, 2k. this is actually among the first seri/rei fics I bookmarked so I can say with relative certainty that on may 20th 2017 I decided that maybe seri/rei was not just a joke of me indulging my own spurious unreasonable whims. fun character study and has that enjoyable tension of pleasant pre-relationship uncertainty.

Quiet Talks by krypkaktus

At some point, Reigen cutting his hair twice a month had turned into a mutual habit.

seri/rei, oneshot, 600 words. another charming snapshot of pre-relationship uncertainty, pleasantly embarrassing unresolved romantic tension.

walk in by ruthwrites

It was then he realized that the reason Reigen and Serizawa were standing so close was because they were kissing.

Mob was not really sure what to do with that information.

(or: mob leaves something at the office, comes back, and walks into something he wasn't supposed to)

seri/rei, oneshot, 3k. an extremely popular fic for extremely valid reasons, this is a shining example of the outsider POV shipfic where the perspective character is like. I’m 14 and did not want to see you guys kissing. and the couple is like. we also did not want you to see us kissing, this is excruciatingly awkward.

tomorrow isn't always another day by suitablyskippy

It’s like Reigen’s been waiting for the question. He stops dead on the pavement, grips Mob by the shoulders, and stares down into his eyes with an expression as haunted as though every ghost the pair of them has ever exorcised has taken up residence behind it. “Mob,” he says. “Mob,” he says again. “Tell me, Mob. Look at me and tell me. Tell me truthfully. Do I look cursed to you?”

Mob looks at him, and tells him truthfully. “No.”

“Well, you didn’t look very long,” says Reigen. “Let’s just stand here for a moment, like so, and you can have another look, a nice long look, and really think about it...”

(There's nothing strange about being called back to exorcise the same haunted photocopier six days in a row. It must just be a very haunted photocopier.)

gen, oneshot, 18k. I didn’t mean to rec the same author three (3) times but this is also one of my top faves. extremely funny time prison where nobody is on the same page ever.

space voyage by Anonymous

Tome Kurata is slightly famous—or notorious, more like—for being... a weirdo, to put it simply. She's definitely a person of interest. Just not exactly in a newsworthy way, which is obviously the only way that matters.

mezato/tome, oneshot, 1k. charming pre-relationship contention, they’re the same type of self-absorbed and tunnel vision (affectionate)

I was thinking of not writing up recs for sister’s fics but since one author got three (3) fics on the list I’m gonna also put 3 of my fave fics of sister’s

Reigen's Comprehensive Fool-Proof Guide on How Not To Be Next Door Neighbors With Your Employee (because that'd just be creepy) by MalkyTop

Reigen hires Serizawa and they somehow end up as roommates.

seri/rei, complete, 17k. a fic sister wrote for ✨ME✨ that shows off reigen’s neuroticism and his decidedly not-normal attempts to come across as Extremely Normal, The Most Normal Man Alive. there are so many comedic setups and payoffs. there are so many shenanigans. reigen gets frog-boiled into romance. actually, I drop that term a lot but I’m not sure it’s a common enough to intuitively understand. it refers to the boiling frog metaphor

If At First You Don't Succeed, Find a Loophole by MalkyTop

Reigen keeps dying; Serizawa keeps trying to save him.

seri/rei, complete, 18k. sister was insane for this because she trapped all of her readers AND herself in time prison by releasing one chapter a day. it was really funny to witness because I was the only person not in time prison by virtue of editing privilege. while we were watching mondays: see you next week (an office time loop movie), sister was saying she was impressed at how effective/efficient the movie was at picking which scenes to repeat. this is to say, as someone who notices these details, sister was very intentional about when things changed and how things changed from the perspective of a character completely unaware of time prison. also, the emotional momentum is extremely good, I loved reading serizawa’s increasing desperation from reigen’s context-less perspective.

in absentia* by MalkyTop

After what was supposed to be a routine exorcism, Reigen wakes up in the wrong body.

serirei, complete, 26k. slowburn bodyswap with mystery and intrigue. a solid casefic! I can be biased and right. there are metanarrative elements that I find fun and that, in my opinion, highlights how sister did in fact get a degree in philosophy. there’s also some fun subtle and messy characterization notes, like when serizawa asks reigen not to cook for him. it’s hard to talk about what I like about this fic without giving away a lot of specifics, so go read it.

[mirandyficlists]

hii! i’m a new mirandy fan, i recently watched the devil wears prada for the first time and kept on thinking to myself "does anyone else think there are… very gay undertones between these two women?". lol, i was very happy to discover i wasn’t the only one!

anyways, i was wondering if you have any fic recs with dom! miranda? please and thank you <3

Hey there Nonnie

Welcome to the Dark side.... we have cookies. lol. Always great to welcome a new Mirandy Dandy to the tTownhouse. :)

If you're on FaceBook we have a great group there. If you want to join please make sure to answer the joining question and mention you got the link from Tumblr.

And here's the list of recs for the subject you mentioned. Happy Reading....but not at work yeah.

BDSM and Kink Mirandy.

Andy On Top

73 Questions by loxodontack  http://archiveofourown.org/works/6668395

A Minor Setback by Ubiquitousmixie:  Andy is deft at playing with her toys. https://ubiquitousmixie.livejournal.com/122327.html

All Work and No Play by Smut Whore:  Andy firmly relaxes Miranda in her home office. https://archiveofourown.org/works/584628

Angry by elfjet  https://archiveofourown.org/works/14391420

Delirium by DanseMacabres https://archiveofourown.org/works/25882333

Disciplinary Measures by Melanicious:  An AU where M&A are the librarian and Principal of a private school. Andy Dom and Miranda sub.   *** Unfortunately I don’t have the link for this fic, but I do have the fic as a word doc. Private message me with your email address and I can send you the fic.

Do You Trust Me by devildreams:  http://dvlwears-prada.livejournal.com/2416243.html

Hope by Wizbang  https://archiveofourown.org/works/17986799/chapters/42487895

In the Early Morning Hours by ironicfury https://archiveofourown.org/works/33520447

Indulgence by Sinadino: Interesting first person pov of a power exchange evening.  Journal purged.

It’s the Only Life you’ve Got Arc I  by RaidrL  http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7183902/1/

Nigel Shouldn’t by Raidrl: Wheww office shenanigans and some voyeurism. https://archiveofourown.org/works/4434380

Secret Desires by Loxodontack:   Journal Purged

Seven Minutes by Elle_Nic  https://archiveofourown.org/works/17956709

The Devil in Ms.Sachs by Cheyne55:  This is THE fic that answers all the things you wanted. http://ralst.com/DevilMsSachs.HTM

The Night I Tamed the Dominatrix by daynalizbeth:  Andy gets the surprise of her life at a Halloween party in a lesbian bar two years after leaving Miranda. A costume does not a scene make. http://daynalizbeth.livejournal.com/800.html

The X Ingredient by Telanu:  Personal assistant who assists Miranda into oblivion.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/779927

Will You Be My Pet? By Samalkorva:  Does what it says on the tin. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7903890/1/Will_you_be_my_pet

Miranda On Top

3 Minute Warning by glacialpace  http://glacial-pace.livejournal.com/615.html

A Gift Beyond Measure by RaiderL https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9466278/1/A-Gift-Beyond-Measure

A Gift of Desire by spelled ink  https://archiveofourown.org/works/16401944/chapters/38395253

A Novel Idea by ubiquitousmixie  https://archiveofourown.org/works/1616096

Apprendre sa Lecon by Zos  https://archiveofourown.org/works/17579582

Being a Bad Girl Has it’s Reward  by Amles80  http://dvlwears-prada.livejournal.com/1812100.html#cutid1

Comeuppance by Lindsey Grissom  http://timeenoughfor.livejournal.com/36792.html#cutid1

Don’t Move by Punky96:  Miranda is very specific and strict with her instructions. https://archiveofourown.org/works/24640738

Give Me that Thing That I Love by kimaracretak  https://archiveofourown.org/works/23680474

Her Wild and Precious Life series: by awomannotagirl  https://archiveofourown.org/series/732480

Honey Tea, Get Inside Me by Narkona_DeGuerre https://archiveofourown.org/works/32656957

Hurts so Good by Punky96 https://archiveofourown.org/works/14883989

I’ll Be Yours by Grdnofevrything  http://grdnofevrythng.livejournal.com/185442.html

In Her Place by Andy_Swan  https://archiveofourown.org/works/46798288

Indecent Proposal: Sneak Peak:  by Melanacious  https://melanacious.livejournal.com/9379.html#cutid2

Indecent Proposal: New Alternatives by Melanacious

Indulgence – Payback by Sinadino:  Payback is a wonderful thing. Heheh.  Journal has been purged, but I do have the fic as a word doc. Private message me with your email address and I can send you the fic.

It’s All Relative by Hawkbehere: Most excellent and epic Mirandy fic with a very much Alpha Top Miranda.  http://archiveofourown.org/works/5884348/chapters/13561771

Just Beginning  by Punky_96  https://archiveofourown.org/works/32612119/chapters/80897572

Learning Curve by Punky_96  https://archiveofourown.org/works/14973170/chapters/34699739

Lessons Quizzes and Exams by Punky96:  Miranda eases Andy into some fashionable bdsm. Very sweet and totally HOT.  https://archiveofourown.org/works/14952633/chapters/34648863

My Perfect Girl by Alesssx  https://archiveofourown.org/works/33741346/chapters/83867092

Officer Miranda  by Sporkmetender  Kink and uniforms in an AU setting https://archiveofourown.org/works/1830331

Old Vices, New Tricks by Politic X  http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7322789/1/Old_Vices_New_Tricks

Open Wide & Say Please by IndustryBaby https://archiveofourown.org/works/32799919

Playtime  by Ultrastreep  https://archiveofourown.org/works/14907113

Punishment by Sinadino: More indulgences.  Journal has been purged, but I do have the fic as a word doc. Private message me with your email address and I can send you the fic.

Purple Lipstick by Femslashfetale:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/17702225

Raarrr by Freewayrun  http://dvlwears-prada.livejournal.com/1686580.html#cutid1

Rehersal by Punky96 https://archiveofourown.org/works/14884497

Service  by darkangel9  http://archiveofourown.org/works/5323805

Shibari Lessons by GardeniaQueen  https://archiveofourown.org/works/32718730/chapters/81171691

Silk  by Anon but Posted by Jassific  http://archiveofourown.org/works/12219435

Smell My Fingers by Dan Sickle: A demanding Miranda toys with a submissive Andy. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7903890/1/Will_you_be_my_pet

Somewhere on a Beach  by TheQueen13  https://archiveofourown.org/works/30804803

Submission by Akhna:  Dominant Miranda and office dynamics. http://dragonofblack.livejournal.com/18631.html?thread=19911

S.W.A.K  by Punky_96  https://archiveofourown.org/works/15135794

Taking One for the Team by Hawkbehere:  Sweaty snugglebunnies in earnest with a judicious use of a strap on. http://archiveofourown.org/works/5866264?view_adult=true

The Devil’s Offer by Sinadino: Preamble to a D/s fic. Journal has been purged, but I do have the fic as a word doc. Private message me with your email address and I can send you the fic.

The Devil’s Sorrow by Sinadino:  Journal has been purged, but I do have the fic as a word doc. Private message me with your email address and I can send you the fic.

The Edge is What She Has  by awomannotagirl https://archiveofourown.org/works/9061018?fbclid=IwAR0viIDkUtqem0PohAE63SszNs3xPneC69162mC9KxtM8wqER6llqrROW3g

The Mistress by Emeraldorchids https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9073068/1/The-Mistress

Wage Slave by MaryGriggs  https://archiveofourown.org/works/33476887

Wake Up Call by Sinadino:  Miranda is definitely a Mistress.     Journal has been purged, but I do have the fic as a word doc. Private message me with your email address and I can send you the fic.

Will You Be My Baby by K.E.A  (Little kink) https://archiveofourown.org/works/19373017/chapters/46094752

Womaniser by 2Demented Muses:  Hot, horny Miranda packing to meet Andy for an interview. End up stuck in the elevator and major sex ensues.  Unfinished. Unavailabe online, but I do have the fic.

Switch and Poly fics:

Between Two Devils by Melanicious:  Andy is the Dom with one Devil and more submissive with another.  http://melanacious.livejournal.com/?skip=30&tag=title%3A%20between%20two%20devils

Happy Halloween by Punky96 (threesome E/M/A) https://archiveofourown.org/works/10660464

Learning Curve by Punky 96: An AU world where sexual contracts are the norm and Andy wishes to learn from Miranda. Shibari. Slight Switching at the end  https://archiveofourown.org/works/14973170/chapters/34699739

Long Night by Takeitback  http://dvlwears-prada.livejournal.com/801844.html#cutid1

Playtime by CMHepple  https://cmhepple.livejournal.com/2731.html

BDSM/KINK AUs

11 Cite Jean de Saumur by Surena13 (M/ofc - Brutal)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/320422

Addicted to the Thrill by Drippingwithsin  https://archiveofourown.org/works/1945335

I Sing the Body Electric by Punky_96 https://archiveofourown.org/works/15133889

Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places by Punky_96 https://archiveofourown.org/works/14711183

Runway Kink Magazine Series of Fics  by Punky_96 https://archiveofourown.org/series/1042208

Smoke Break by WhereDidmyPantsGo  https://archiveofourown.org/works/31867135/chapters/78902134

Three’s A Crowd But Not Really by Dark_Prince31  https://archiveofourown.org/works/22279897/chapters/53207890

What’s Your Fantasy? By Punky_96 https://archiveofourown.org/works/15707223/chapters/36506901

[lilbeanz]

Is there any particular order chapter wise in which to read journal of dreadful things and inside that scarred head?

Each chapter of ITSH is one whole book of JoDT, so chapter one is first year, chapter two is second year etc etc...

So there's no particular order like "you MUST read this chapter with this chapter" lol

I won’t be writing Harry’s pov for fifth year until BFC has finished posting, and so on and so forth...

Hope this helps!💖

[puppetmaster13u]

You may regret this @phoenixcatch7 lol, what if I start spamming you /j

Less cryptid Batman in this particular WIP since it's semi-outsider pov lol (one of two outside person not unnerved by them lol)

🦇👻🪆🦇👻🪆🦇👻🪆🦇👻🪆🦇👻🪆🦇👻🪆🦇👻🪆🦇

   Clark knew Batman wasn’t human, even before that disaster of a mission where he had let it slip to the others. 

   He’d known for a long time, from one of their early meetups, when Batman had first referred to him as Clark Kent instead of Kal-El, and he had panicked. He hadn’t ever lied to his teammates when he said that the cloak prevented him from seeing his body, but his ears still worked. 

   He’d tried to listen to a heartbeat, to see if his at the time temporary ally was lying when he stated he wasn’t going to tell anyone and… Nothing. There was no heartbeat, no breathing, nothing even remotely human, and if he didn’t know any better, nothing even remotely alive about the silence. 

   He couldn’t help but to pay attention more, to seek out the strange almost silence-feeling that accompanied the Gotham vigilante each time he felt it. It was… almost comforting, like the swaying of branches and the rustling of cloth over stone. Familiar, compared to the hustle and bustle surrounding him in the city. 

   The first thing he had noticed, physically that is, was Batman’s ears. Previously he’d thought the man unemotional, what with the rough voice, expressionless white eyes, cloak-covered body and the gas mask covering a good chunk of his face. 

   Yet the longer he watched, even idly, the more he noticed that while the man’s face or body didn’t show much, his ears did. 

   While Batman could stay silent and still for hours, the long ears twitched and swiveled, catching on the hood that he’d always wear around them. They’d pin back sometimes, a near silent sound he couldn’t quite place accompanying the movement, while other times they’d twist a near full three-sixty, as though searching for whatever sound it had caught. 

   Sometimes, when he’d startled the other vigilante, there’d be rattling noise, like wood and metal clacking together before it was cut off. It was a strange sound, one he’d not heard anywhere else, except with his… friend. 

   Were they friends? He’d like to think so. 

   The next time he was reminded that his friend wasn’t human was when he saw him get injured. It hadn’t been a bad injury, even if the Gothamite’s head had hit the wall with a very loud cracking noise, but he’d still smelled what he’d eventually come to recognize as blood. There was an almost pickle-like scent to it though that wasn’t quite it either. 

   Honestly the closest he could think of describing it was some sort of formaldehyde. And once he focused, he could pick out other things beneath it. Maybe not flesh and blood in the traditional sense, but still. 

   There was always that scent of cloth and wood, but he could smell the black liquid, paint, a metallic thing underneath like iron and steel. No heartbeat, no breath, but life all the same. It was honestly beautiful in a way, like a part of the city the other vigilante called home had come to life. 

   And it wasn’t like Batman minded whenever his own human mask slipped. Clark may have been raised by his Ma and Pa, whom he loved, but it didn’t make his body any more human in nature. There were just some things that he couldn’t change, and it took effort to move like one all day as a civilian when his body wasn’t designed to do so.

   So he stayed quiet for the most part when their group of three grew, and people started to speculate. He diverted the conversations whenever it turned to him, lightly admonishing over the various rumors. 

   It didn’t matter if Batman wasn’t human, he was still his friend, their ally and teammate. Was he curious? Oh of course, he’d gone into journalism for a reason after all, but it was still his friend. If he wanted to tell, he’d tell, and Clark wouldn’t break his trust. 

[bhaalbaaby]

Title: genesis (3532 words) Pairing: astarion/tav Warnings: nsfw, fluff and smut A/N: more from astarion's pov lol ♥ very intimate; part three for moonlight on the river

Read on AO3!

Sarnarei glares at the Candulhallow's Tombstone, arms crossed. They spent fifteen minutes tearing the empty shop apart looking for the evidence for the murders. Karlach yawns as she checks the desk for the fifth time.

"Do you still have the journal from Dolor?" Shadowheart asks Sarnarei, stress lining her face. "I do, but I left it in my trunk."

"I suggest we go back and read it. There may be a key hidden there. Or at least a clue." Shadowheart replies, heading to the front of the building. Karlach follows, nodding. "Plus we can take a little break. It is getting a little late, soldier."

Sarnarei looks over at Astarion who waves his hand flippantly, "We can fight the big bad Bhaal once we're more rested." She grimaces but follows their party out.

As soon as they arrive, she tears through the chest, pulling out all the journals and tatted notes she saved looking for any sign. Astarion rests on the bed next to it watching as their merry party speaks to each other, waiting.

"I still want to at least figure out how to enter. We can go out for a moment. Whatever rests there, we won't fight tonight." Sarnarei says softly, mostly to herself.

"Do we have to go back out? I think we're all pretty exhausted." Astarion whispers, his eyes drinking in her dress, the way her hair falls in front of her face. He loves how determined she is. He holds himself back, wanting to kiss her and maybe more. She hasn't done anything different and yet...

She glances up at him, tilting her head to the side, not picking up on his cue. "Are you sure?"

He smirks, how adorable is she when she's clueless? His eyes flick up to Wyll who passes by as he nods, "Exhausted. So tired." He says it louder than necessary so the horned man could hear. Wyll turns, raising his eyebrow as he glances at Astarion. The vampire cuts his eyes to Sarnarei and then back to Wyll, hoping his silent pleas would be understood.

Wyll nods, a cheeky smile coming to his lips as he yawns so loudly, "I'm ready to turn in for the evening. How about you, Shadowheart? Halsin?" Astarion glares at the Warlock's back at the mention of Halsin. He didn't mind sharing her with him, especially when they weren't physical. The idea still doesn't bother him, at least he thinks. The two of them didn't spend that much time together from what he noticed anyway. When they did speak, they weren't physical. Maybe they broke up and she didn't tell him.

"Hmm, I could rest for the night," Halsin says, coming over to Sarnarei's side. "Is everything alright, my heart?" My heart.

Astarion keeps up his smirk, his mind racing with the possibilities in case Halsin chooses to stay.

She nods, turning to him, "Yeah, I found what I needed, but I don't want to overburden you all." She says sweetly, closing the trunk.

"Of course." He glances over at Astarion, "How are you handling everything?" He asks, his voice full of concern.

"Better. Thank you, Halsin." He gives him a curt nod. The druid raises his eyebrow, a compassionate smile on his lips. "I think we're going to go take Lakrissa up on her offer. Have a night to just relax while we can."

Karlach appears out of nowhere her vibrant smile brightening up the room as she wraps her arm around Halsin. "Fuck yes. Let's go! I hear they have a super funny comedian on tonight. I want to laugh my stomach bursts." She shoots a look at Shadowheart, "You can heal that, right?"

The cleric smirks as she rolls her eyes, "I would prefer it not come to that, but I will do my best." The rest of the crew filter out, Halsin being the last.

"Don't keep her too long, Astarion." He teases, winking as he closes the door.

He takes a deep breath as he returns to Sarnarei, who stands at her entrance a bit bewildered. "Alone with a bed." He says, ignoring her suspicion as he sits back down. He's bedded thousands, but the thought of being intimate with her makes him so anxious. Her confusion leaves as she sits next to him, concern taking over.

"I would like a night of passion with you, Sarnarei. If I can't handle it, I'll let you know so we can stop. I know that look in your eyes. You don't want me to feel distressed and we've been going slow, but I don't want to wait any longer. I think I'm ready." He states, taking her hands into his own.

She licks her lips, glancing up at him. "If you feel uneasy at any point, we will stop." She replies, moving closer. She misses him, misses his body against her own, but holds him in such regard. It would hurt her to the core if she did anything and he just went along with it to make her happy.

He nods, leaning forward, and kissing her slowly. He sucks on her bottom lip, dragging his teeth carefully along it. He leans her against the pillows, not breaking their kiss. She moans softly as her arms wrap around his shoulders, her legs wrapping around his waist. He pulls away, gazing upon his lover. She searches his face as her hands go to his ornate jacket, pulling at the buttons.

"I love you," He whispers as he shrugs the jacket off, letting it fall off the bed. His hand slips between her thighs, his fingers gently gliding along her pelvis over her pants.

"I love you too," She whispers back, rocking her hips against his touch. She slips her hand down along his pants where his cock stands half hard. He shudders at her touch, focusing on finding her pants, and dragging them off.

Her hands return to her body, fiddling with the corset top. His eyes stay glued to her chest, watching as they fall from the lack of support. He swallows hard as he leans down, replacing her hands with his own as he undoes her corset, taking the pretty and sturdy fabric from her torso, and adding it to their clothing pile. She whimpers as his kisses return to her neck and collarbone, his talented fingers massaging her chest through her beige sleep top. She closes her eyes as he runs his fingers along her top.

"Can I please you first?" She asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

Astarion pauses in between his kisses, raising his eyebrow. "Please me first?"

She nods as she sits up, her hand returning to his hardening cock. "You always please me first. I want to make sure you're sated." She explains, tracing her fingers up to his loosened frilly shirt, dragging it over his body. He nods after a moment, considering. The worst thing is that he could disassociate, but Sarnarei's attention and focus are so acute on him, that she would notice and stop in her tracks. He feels like a burden as he rests on the other side of the daybed. "Tell me to stop if you don't like it." She whispers, helping him out of his trousers. He gives another nod as she pecks him quickly, her soft body caressing his.

"My sweet, I can handle a blowjob." He says sarcastically, running his fingers through her hair as she slides between his legs. 

Astarion watches her with heated eyes as she holds his cock in her hands. He exhales deeply as he looks up at the ceiling, her hands gently stroking him. She leans down, pressing soft kisses along his shaft. He closes his eyes, keeping his hands to himself. Before he would have forced her mouth open, fucking her mouth hard, hearing her gags and whimper. But he lets her take her time now, her tongue tasting him. She smiles up at him as she reaches his tip, her tongue rolling around it. Her fangs peak just underneath her full lips, framing his cock so dangerously. He groans softly, his knee coming up as he gently pets her hair. Just focus on her, his mind repeats as she opens her mouth, guiding his cock down her throat. He watches as she closes her eyes, bobbing her head along his shaft. She moans softly as she drags her fingertips along his inner thighs, her eyes cutting up to his.

His breathing quickens as he massages her scalp, her mouth perfectly warm around his shaft. His fingers grip her hair, his hips trying to thrust lazily into her mouth to quicken her speed. He can't help it, moaning as her tongue rests against the thick underside vein, gently pressing along it as she massages it with each bob. Halsin must have taught her that, he thinks quickly as he tosses his head back.

"My love..." He moans, trying to keep in the present. She pulls up, stroking him. "You are being too devilishly good." He purrs as she rubs him off, feeling proud of herself.

"Oh?" She asks before sucking his pink tip again, her plump lips the perfect frame around it. He closes his eyes briefly as she takes him as far as she can, her mewls muffled. His hips buck against her mouth as he feels himself getting lost in the pleasure.

Too dangerous, too tempting. 

"That's enough. I need you." He says, dragging her head up to his cold lips. She laughs softly against his lips, kissing him back. He pushes her back, rolling to be on top of her. His hard cock presses along her warm slit but he pulls away, quickly lying on his stomach as he buries his head between her thighs.

She arches her back, her hips pressing against his mouth. She can barely get her bearings as his tongue prods her apart. Her moans fill the room as his tongue laps at her clit. Her hands tug her shirt off before returning to her breasts, playing with her nipples as she watches his feast. She bites her lip, her breathing quickening. She missed this, so much. Sure she's had others now, but Astarion... She closes her eyes as she moans, her legs resting on his shoulders. He could taste her getting closer, her clit becoming more engorged with each suckle. He comes up for air gently biting her inner thigh before making a trail of kisses up her belly, her chest, and her mouth. He finds focusing on her makes it more enjoyable. She's so reactive to him, the way her tongue rolls around with his, her moans. He breaks the kiss, giving her time to breathe.

He rubs his cock against her, remembering how much physically he loves the ridges above her slit. He's so sensitive already from his want for her, that he takes a deep breath, trying not to get overwhelmed. He gently thrusts inside of her, both of them moaning. He laughs softly as she looks away, her cheeks flushed. 

He holds himself above her, wanting to watch her every reaction as he starts to rock his hips. Her brows knit together as she whimpers tiny prayers to some unknown god. He smiles to himself, how dramatic she is being. He hasn't even done anything yet. He picks up his pace, needing more of her reactions, her moans. "Ah, I love you... Oh, my love." She whines, her hands covering her face as she pants. He frowns as he thrusts harder, taking her hands from her face, their fingers interlacing. 

"Please don't hide your face from me." He says, pounding into her. She nods, her brows knitting up as she looks up at him. Her watchful eyes meet his, a quick assessment before he rolls his hips against hers. A distraction, he thinks as she cries out, looking away again. She clenches around him as she opens her legs more for him. He can feel himself slipping into overdrive, doing it until he releases. This will be an uphill battle. He wants to stay in the moment so badly, but the motions are the same. The same sensations he'd felt for so long. 

She wraps her arms around his shoulders, holding him closer, making him slow down. His breathing catches in his throat as she kisses him softly, their hips rocking together. The act brings him back to the moment, his hand leaving hers as he cups her breast, tweaking her nipple between his fingers.

She breaks the kiss, whimpering. Their foreheads touch, and their breathing becomes one. He brushes his nose against hers, their lips barely touching as they pant. His hips grind, burying himself deep inside.

"Astarion..." She moans, her hands resting on either side of his head, their eyes locking.

He grins, picking up his pace again. "Like that?" He asks, feeling electricity in their touch, their gaze.

"Y-y-yes!" She stammers, struggling to keep up. Her tail rests on the back of his thigh, running up and down as he thrusts. He growls, enjoying her gentle touch on his body.

He slows, pulling back. He wants to see the full view again, his hands resting on the underside of her knees. Her arm covers her mouth, muffling her praises as he continues his slow pace. He watches as his cock disappears inside of her warm inviting hole before rocking his hips back. Gods... He doesn't think he'll last long, overwhelmed with his need for her. How gorgeous she is coming undone beneath him. He lets go of her leg briefly, removing her hand from her mouth. "Please, my love. I need to see you." He whispers, returning his hand to her leg. She scrunches up her nose as she looks away, feeling so full from his thrusts.

"Can, can I ride you?" She asks in between cries. He nods laughing softly to himself, reluctant to pull out. He's feeling more alive now, invigorated. She smiles up at him, kissing him quickly, following as he lies on his back. Before she mounts him, she assesses him, staring deeply into his eyes. "We can stop if you want."

He shakes his head, guiding her hips down. "I don't want to." He smiles, kissing her valid worries away.

She whines as he thrusts inside, stretching her again. He doesn't want to give her room to doubt. She saw his familiar face distant look creeping in despite his best efforts. His fingertips gently massage her ass, feeling her tail swipe back and forth between his legs. Her hands rest on his shoulders, her ass rocking back against his thighs.

"You're perfect. So perfect." He whispers as she lifts her hips slightly, trying to find a comfortable pace on her knees.

She rolls her eyes, trying to suppress the smile, moaning out instead. "You're so... Handsome." She replies quickly, feeling his grip tighten on her hips.

His brow quirks up as he smirks, "Oh, go on." He slowly takes over the pace, finding a comfortable rhythm.

She squirms above him, trying to handle his languid thrusts while trying to answer his question, gasping every time he fully sheathes her. "Ah... The Gods took their time... When creating you..." She barely can make out her compliment as he varies his speed, watching as her face contorts with ecstasy.

"They really did, darling, but..." He quickens his thrusts, delighted with himself when her tail wraps around his shin for leverage against his relentless strokes. "I think you could do better."

She whimpers, her nails digging into his shoulders, her breasts bouncing between her arms. "Fuck. Astarion. Please." Her stomach tenses from the immense pleasure. He groans with her, her warm walls clenching around his cock. Her moans become his favorite song, his name on her lips only increasing his need for her. He focuses on the pain from her nails digging into his skin, pounding as hard as he can as she loses her grip, laying on top of him as she cries into his neck. 

He slows, giving her a chance to catch her breath, edging her as she rocks her hips, slowly riding him. She sits up after a moment, her eyes still closed as she tries to get more comfortable on her knees after the pummeling. He closes his eyes, enjoying her taking her time, his cock nestled deep inside, his tip pressing against her c-spot. She squirms again as she tries her best to ride him, her legs shaking. He smiles up at her, her brown skin with a soft sheen of sweat.

"Every time I move, I get so overwhelmed." She says quickly, turning her head away from him as she rocks her hips. She glances down at him through her lashes, checking to see if he's still present.

His eyes are hungry as he digs his fingers into her skin, starting to take over the pace again. "My love, I am lost in your pleasure. Those beautiful brown orbs hypnotize me." He starts his thrusts again, her eyes shut tight, her tail gripping him hard. She leans down, wrapping her arms around him as she comes undone above him, his name sung to the heavens. She tosses her head back as she holds herself still against his thrusts. She makes fists against his chest, her orgasm taking her vision. 

He's proud of himself, feeling her contract and gush around him. Her pleasure belongs just to him, no one else. He moans with her, not giving her time to relax this time as he leans up, wrapping her in an embrace as he buries his head in her neck, sucking on the sensitive skin. He grinds against her in this new position, panting against her hot skin. He lifts his hips against her, rutting against her, his tip convulsing inside.

She's too perfect, too close to the sun and like some mortal flying close, he dares try, unafraid of burns. He almost bites her neck out of habit, to eat and spill his seed as he's done for the past centuries. He stops himself, giving her soft unhurried kisses along her neck and chest, as he twitches inside with each thrust. He is so used to going as fast as he can once he feels himself about to cum. Always a race, but he takes his time, feeling more sensitive each time he thrusts inside.

The urge to relentlessly pound her does wash over him, but he keeps at it, her moans cheering him on. He tenses each time her ass comes flush against his skin, nostrils flaring. "Sarnarei..." He whimpers her name, his hands wrapping around her back. "I love you. I..."

She doesn't say it back, not having a chance as she feels his engorged tip pressing against her cervix. She holds him close to her chest as he pants, his body contracting as he holds his hips up, his cock erupting deep inside of her womb.

Neither of them says anything, their haggard breaths and soft sighs fill the silence. Her fingers massage his damp scalp while the others make a small circular pattern on his shoulder. If he could sleep, he would. He would sleep for eternity in her arms. He glances up at her after a moment, a sleepy smile on his face. She returns the sleepy smile, too tired to check him over and assess him. "I love you too," She finally replies, her voice hoarse.

She moves from his lap, letting his now flaccid cock slip out. She whimpers, missing the fullness. Astarion rolls his eyes as he pulls her into a cuddle, staring up at the wooden ceiling. "I was so nervous before..." He admits, laughing to himself.

"Nervous?" She asks, worries lining her face.

"I know. How could I be nervous about something as easy as this." His voice is light but his expression serious as he glances down at his partner. "I wanted you. Craved you. I starved and you brought me back to life. I felt so connected." The worries disappear as she kisses his shoulder. "I still will need more time before we make this a regular occurrence again."

Sarnarei traces another mindless pattern on his chest, nodding. "Take all the time you need. I'll always be here. You know I won't mind." Her smile is warm and understanding. Always so understanding.

He lifts her face towards his, the chaste kiss deepening as he pulls her closer, his thigh brushing against her still swelling clit. She whimpers against his mouth, breaking the kiss. "I can still tease though," Astarion says cheekily.

"Don't tease me too much. I don't know if I can go again." She whines hiding her face.

"Well, in that case, we should probably go down to see this comedian."

Sarnarei grimaces as she lifts her head, feeling exhausted. "We could just stay here."

Astarion nips her neck playfully. "There's too much temptation in this bed... Come, let's go have some fun, my sweet. We can always see where the night takes us." He picks her up with ease, her giggles erupting from her chest as he leads them to the bath to clean up.

[galebrainrot2024]

GalexTav Enemies to Lovers Part 21

A short one because my brain is a little toasted :( I have guests coming this weekend and will be traveling again for work next week so I will be cranking out as much as I can in the mean time or weird inbetween! I appreciate you all <3

I’m also going to stick with Gale’s POV - this story isn’t about Tav (it is, but you know what I mean lol) thanks @laserlope for helping in the brain room 🤝

EDITED TO GALE’s Perspective | Read on Ao3 | Master List

“Ah,” Gale said, leaning over Tav’s shoulder to point towards what appeared to be an alter. 

They were exploring the cellar of Last Light after fighting off a particularly difficult gaggle of meanlocks. During their explorations they found a journal, and decided to have a gander at finding the resistance at Last Light. 

“A hidden shrine…” he murmured, “Dedicated to the Moon Maiden herself. Even amidst the darkness, Selunites are stubborn enough to cling on.” It was a sentiment he understood. Despite everything that Mystra forced him to endure, he still cherished magic because it was what he adored and had known so long as he’d had memory.

“Pretty beautiful, isn’t it?” Karlach mused, brushing her fingers over the lacy cloth of the alter and cold, forgotten statues. Gale loved watching her experience the world around her - it helped him maintain perspective, to see the world through fresh eyes. To remember what wonder there was in simplicity.

To grapple with life’s end is no easy feat. There are many who avoid the task entirely, choosing instead to delay the inevitable. Gale felt the crushing weight of finite time and couldn’t bear to ignore his deepest desires. It had been so long since he felt these delicious emotions. What he felt for Mystra.. it was nothing like this.

“If you have a fondness for paperweights,” Shadowheart crossed her arms and inspected the arms of her armor, disinterest evident. Gale internally scoffed, mumbling about how deeply entrenched she was in Shar’s vile, false prophecy.

Karlach snorted and gave Shadowheart a salute. “You’re a funny frog, you know that?” 

“Excuse me what?” Shadowheart bristled and glared at Karlach, though a curl tugged at her lip. “If anyone here is a frog, it most certainly isn’t me. If anyone, it would be Lae’zel.” 

“Why, because she’s green?” Karlach poked, egging her on. 

As the two volleyed back and forth, Tav turned to Gale. She was shifting awkwardly, something he flagged to secure and unwrap later. “Sometimes I can’t tell whether or not those two like each other.” 

“Oh, I’m sure most of our companions could say the same about us.” Gale grinned and flashed his teeth, the corners of his eyes scrunching. His cells surged from their proximity. 

“Well,” Tav chewed on her bottom lip and pressed a finger to his chest. “Perhaps they wouldn’t have the wrong idea if you were better at admitting defeat once in a while. I know it’s hard for you, to be around someone so much more charismatic, intelligent, funny…” 

“Scratch undoubtably stakes his claim to the limelight and acclaim that I have no chance competing with.” Gale rose a brow as if in challenge. He knew she was talking about herself, but he needed to see if she’d indulge him. To test the waters.

Gale had been testing the water for weeks now, to the point where Karlach told him that if he didn’t get on with it soon she’d jump Tav’s bones before he got the chance.

“You wouldn’t dare,” he said, half joking and mostly serious.

“I can,” Karlach shot him a look, pointing a finger cockily, “and I will.”

Although Gale thought she was kidding there was still a part of him that chewed on her seriousness.

She returned his look, a wildness spreading through him as he continued to neg her and at how wonderfully she responded. “Are you comparing me to our camp dog?” 

“Ah!” Gale’s hand flung to his forehead and he tapped his fingers against it before resting on his hip and then twisting to point at her. “You know what, you’re right, I should have known you were talking about yourself. An honest mistake. Scratch is quite popular amongst our merry crew of miscreants and scoundrels, you’ll have to forgive me. Had I known you were talking about yourself,” Gale’s fingers wrapped around her wrist to lower her finger from his chest. Tav’s breath caught and that little sound, an otherwise innocent, unremarkable noise gave Gale’s body everything it needed to know. “I would have said that is woefully untrue and I wonder if that tadpole has eaten through more than a fair share of that beautiful mind of yours.” He whispered haughtily. Tav exhaled sharply and rolled her eyes which made his cheeky grin somehow more smug. He loved watching her get more and more flustered by him, though if he felt her feelings were hurt he’d learned well enough to stop. Lately, though, she seemed to relish in it.

“This place is hard to bear. I hope we’re able to continue on our way soon..” Shadowheart interrupted their banter and Gale looked to Tav who seemed delighted by their delay, unbothered by the impatience of their most gothic comrade. 

“I know what you mean. Everything is so… dark, and musty.” Karlach’s nose wrinkled and she nodded towards the exit, shifting from foot to foot.  

“Oh, well I meant more the idols to a false goddess,” she gestured and then took off her glove, inspecting her hand. “but yes, the mildew and must leaves something to be desired.” 

“Hopefully I’m not contributing to the smell too much,” Karlach gave herself a quick sniff and rose her arm. “What do you think?” 

Shadowheart laughed and shook her head, “Hush you, stop fishing for compliments. I’m sure Dammon showers you with plenty already.” 

Karlach stuck out her tongue and grinned. “You know it, baby.” 

Gale admired how, despite learning of her almost guaranteed fate, Karlach was a formidable optimist. He was trying to mirror her attitude, though despondency chewed at his robes. “Alright, alright,” Tav said, gesturing. “lead the way.” 

“I love a nice secret hideaway, don’t you?” Shadowheart mused, glancing around the damp enclave. “Even if it’s dedicated to,” she shuddered as if eating bad fish, “Selune.” 

“I mean… I guess.” Tav and Karlach shrugged in unison. 

“You can just fill it with supplies, seal up the hidden entrance, and tuck yourself away from the world…” Shadowheart said this as if she were asking a djinn to grant her wish. 

“Whatever you say, squirrelheart.” Gale chuckled at his own joke and the two groaned at his joke and Tav surprised him with an earnest giggle. He grunted as he hoisted his pack. “Where are we headed, m’lady?” 

Tav blushed. Another clue. Gale knew when he spoke to her in that voice, although it was playful there was an undercurrent of words unspoken. He knew it was beginning to affect her concentration because she let more than a few errant spells slip anytime they locked eyes in combat. He’d give an extra flourish, put on a bit of a show, and then she’d get a little smile and forget to cast her ward. Gale felt guilty, of course, but it was a little endearing.

Still - What if she wasn’t receptive? What if it was all in his head relationships? He didn’t remember overthinking past relationships quite so much. Perhaps he did. Well, he nearly immediately admitted the fib to himself.

He also worried that if he acted impatiently, Tav would slip through his fingers like quicksand. There was a nagging in her gut, that he would somehow mess up.

Tav - apart from his mother, and Tara - was the person who knew him best - which wasn’t saying much. She had seen so much of him, though, had been invited into more intimate moments while he held everyone else at an arms length. It was easier than seeing them hold him at an arms length. He tried to find solace in the stars instead of substance on solid ground. Terrified of letting people past the well-crafted fortress to his heart. 

For the past few weeks as he tried, and failed, to teach her simple recipes he felt his resolve grow weaker and weaker. He thawed her, little by little the layers of herself peeling back to welcome him in. Jokes that once would make her gag in annoyance now evoked bubbles of laughter. They rarely spoke at first. Only a few snide comments here and there. 

As the days progressed, however, Gale started to ask her more questions, which he sensed annoyed her to an extent. Once that emotion passed due to his persistent verbosity and monologues about his own answers would she open up and reveal tidbits of herself - what foods she liked to eat, the flowers she noticed, how she liked to spend her time - the latter earning him a withering look, implying him to back away from the question, to which he smirked at and held up his hands.

“Hello?” Gale waved a hand in front of her face, realizing he’d been waiting for her response for quite some time. He noticed she laughed unintentionally and licked her lips before she pressed them together. It made his core simmer. 

“Sorry?” She said, tilting her head and scrunching her face a little. 

“Good! We were worried we lost you there - you just,” Gale pursed his lips and his eyes narrowed a little with excitement. He leaned forward and Tav’s lips parted as she inhaled. He tried to steady his wicked thoughts. He noted the soft red brushed across her cheeks, how her iris’s were swallowed whole. His voice slowed, his tone smooth and mellow, “Blushed a smidge, ah… just as you are now….and then froze, faster than you could conjure an ice storm.” 

The silence lingered, the hairs on his arms stood up and he felt magnified. And then she spoke. “No, regrettably you’re stuck with me for now. Don’t get too excited.” 

He did. She returned the retort exactly as he wanted. “Oh, if this adventure has taught me anything it’s that I’ve grown rather fond of you. I would be rather miffed for our paths to part so soon… there’s so much more to do.” 

Karlach and Shadowheart’s whoops of laughter drew a scowl from her and started walking. 

“Don’t be shy!” Karlach yelled to her and Gale laughed.

 Fine. He thought to himself. Tonight. Tonight.