#probably due to how much of it is just I-iv back and forth as i am kind of obsessed with those two chords together

[doctorwhoisadhd]

i love writinggggg

[yuridovewing]

I haven't read TBC yet but I already know for certain that in my rewrite in my head, Needleclaw is the protag not Rootspring

[parrythisucasual]

no pressure ofc but may i request a jax x reader where the reader is basically a ball jointed doll with some of the parts made of a soft playdoh material that can be shaped? i have no idea if that makes sense lmao. if not feel free to just do a normal bjd! as for story specifics ive been on a hurt/comfort kick tonight so maybe reader has joint pain or smth?

feel free to put your own spin on things! ive loved basically everything ive seen of yours in the jax x reader tag so im sure itll be great.

OKAY I WENT A BIT OVERBOARD AND I ACTUALLY HAD TO CUT IT SHORT DUE TO GOING TO A PARTY. I LOVED WRITING THIS STORY AND IM MORE THAN WILLING TO DO A PART 2 TO END IT A BIT MORE SATIFINGLY

HOPE YOU ENJOY, ANON!!!!

Jax x Doll! Reader

You were tossing and turning in your bed. No matter how you lay, your joint always managed to get caught on your sheets or blankets. It doesn't seem bad, in theory, but it was terribly painful. You finally settle in a spot, sighing happily. 

“SH(boing)T!” you yelp, jerking so hard you nearly fall out of bed. Your knee had pinched the blanket. You throw the sheets off, tears of anger (and probably pain) pricking the corners of your eyes. You swing your legs off the side of the bed, deciding to go for a mid-sleep walk. You’d say midnight, but there isn’t exactly a night here.

Trudging from your room, you walk up the halls. Your joints, your annoying burdens, click with each step. You feel a pang of jealousy; the others in the circus didn’t have any problems with their new bodies. If you really had to be a doll, why couldn’t have you been a plush one, like Ragatha? Instead, you’re stuck with stupid ball joints and silicone. It sucks.

As you pass by his room, you find you’re not alone in your restlessness. The sound is faint, but you can hear the floor creaking in Jax’s room. You pause outside his door, wondering what he could possibly be up to. 

The creaking passes from left to right as if he was simply walking back and forth in his room. As if he was pacing. You frown, debating whether or not you should knock. Maybe something was bothering him?

You shake your head, turning away. Jax wouldn’t talk to you, what are you thinking? You’d ask him if hes okay and he’d gaslight you into thinking he’d been asleep, into thinking you’d interrupted his night. He wasn’t the kind of guy to admit to his problems, not the type to care about yours.

You start up the hall once more, mind settling on the digital lake. At very least you could relax to the Lake_Ambiance.mp3 and watch the digital water move.

Crack

You let out a sharp yell, falling to the ground. Your knee had locked up, twisting at just the right angle the joint wouldn’t move anymore. God, it felt just like a sprained ankle. You hiss, gripping your knee in your hands. The tears really do come now, rolling down your cheeks in an oddly realistic fashion for this digital realm. Well, at least your night couldn’t get any worse.

“What, you forgot how to walk or something?” Dear god, it got worse. You glance behind you, the familiar smug grin staring you in the face. Jax’s confidence falters, very plainly, when he sees your tears. He raised a brow, “Oh, come on, you just fell. Are the waterworks really necessary?”

You try to stretch your knee out, yelping when it doesn’t budge, “It’s not just a fall you ignorant little- AUGH!” you give up trying to move your leg, resolving to simply lean back, giving yourself room to breathe.

Jax trots over, bending down and inspecting your knee, “How’d you manage this?” he reaches out and your stomach drops, “No, don’t!” He freezes, the surprise plain on his face, “Why not? I can snap it back into place easy as-”

“You stupid rabbit, it hurts!” you practically wail. He sits back, “Don’t be stupid, (Y/N), we’re digital now. Can’t get hurt. Can’t die.”

You turn your face away from him, growling slightly, “Clearly, I’m different. Not like you’d care, right? Too busy shoving your head up your own a(honk).” Jax doesn’t react to this, much to your surprise. Instead, he silently stands up, walking up the hall, one hand on his hip.

“Wait, where are you going? Jax?” you regret what you said immediately, you really didn’t want to be alone with this right now. “You won’t let me help you, I’m going to find Caine.”

“You’re… huh?” you blink, confused. Jax shrugs, “If it hurts that bad, why would I leave you like that?” You aren’t sure whether or not he really was going to find Caine, but with the lack of arrogance about him, you decide to trust him, “Alright… thank you.”

He doesn’t respond, merely gives a dorky salute as he rounds the corner. As the minutes pass, you begin to wonder whether or not you should have believed him. Just as you were about to give up hope, Caine appeared at the end of the hall, flanked by Jax.

“Oh, dear, oh dear! Would you look at that!” Caine’s annoying grandeur made your head hurt, but you couldn’t have been more relieved. With a simple snap of his fingers, your leg righted itself without pain. “Now then, anything else I can do for you, my dear (Y/N)?” the eccentric ringleader asked. You shake your head, a relieved sigh escaping from your chest.

“Excellent! Well, off to bed with you!” he zipped back into the air, “I was busy, after all.” Caine darted away, leaving you alone with Jax once more. He seemed off, not grinning as he usually did. You’re not sure what to say, until-

“Are you okay now?” he asks, looking anywhere but your face. “Um… yeah, now I am,” you start to sit up, and Jax rushes to your side, grabbing your hand and practically lifting you to your feet himself. “Are… you okay?” you ask, “you’re acting way different.”

Jax finally looks at you, “Why wouldn’t you tell anyone you were in pain? Are you really that thick? Any of us would’ve helped you! Any of us would be there for you!” he snapped, seemingly angry you’d hidden this.

“I… I didn’t want to burden anyone…” you admit, a bit shocked. “Burden us? Are you kidding?” his voice grew louder, making you wince, “you think your health is a burden? You moron, you’re-” he stopped suddenly, noticing your expression.

“I-I’m sorry… I-I…” He sighed, interrupting your shaky apology, “Next time, come to me. Okay? I don’t want to see you get hurt. (Y/N)...” he hesitated, “I just… I really care about you. Please, don’t hesitate to tell me you’re in pain.” He gathered himself, then placed a quick kiss on your forehead before darting into his room with a final, “Night.”

[vintagexherry]

Even if it Takes Forever

Miguel O'Hara x Reader

//Obsessive themes, slight angst, Cloning sciency stuff that I probably got wrong about.

---

---

"Recording? Again? You might as well work as a cameraman instead of a geneticist. " You giggle as you see a camera being pointed at you. You placed a hand at your pregnant belly as you smile at his actions.

Miguel was about to retort back when you both hear Gabriella running towards you.

"Mama! Mama! Look what I got!"

You look towards Gabriella, who has a handful of flowers, cradled in her arms.

"Can we make those flowers crowns again?" She asks as she sits in front of you, down on the picnic blanket.

You happily agree, as Miguel is filming the whole thing.

You and Gabi talked to each other about several things while interwining flower stems.

Gabriella suddenly pulled you down to her height and whispered something, causing the both of you to giggle.

"Say Miguel....Ever thought about modelling?"

"Wha?-" his questioned got cut off when both you and Gabi gently tackled Miguel behind the camera.

The camera got tackled to the floor while laughs and giggles fill the air.

With a swish of his hand, the hologram screen disappeared into thin air.

Silence fill the empty office.

Miguel deeply sighed as he stared into nothing, committing your and Gabi's voice into his head.

"Lyla, what per cent is it on now?"

As the mention of the name, a hologram of a lady appeared.

"You know, it won't get faster the more you ask." Lyla answered back.

"Just. Tell. Me." He sneered at Lyla.

"fifty-six per cent"

"Fifty-Six?! It's already been a month! Run the system again." He exclaimed.

"Numbers are numbers, Miguel. No matter how much you ask me, it won't get any faster."

Miguel groaned. He knew she was right, but the more days passed by, the slower it felt. He tried convincing himself that waiting is part of the progress, but it doesn't feel like he made any.

"Just.....Bring me down there." He said with a sigh as he steps on a small platform separated from his office computers.

Without another word from Lyla, the platform begins to decend, lower and lower into a dark abyss. Perhaps call it a secret passage way.

Once the platform completely lands, lights turn on immediately.

In front of Miguel, there were two human sized capsules connected to multiple tubes and wires to computers.

Inside those two capsules were yours and Gabriella's bodies, floating in blue-ish liquid.

Your face is serene and peaceful, and so is Gabi's.

He still remembers the days when he first started this project.

With the help of 2099 technology, he can make clones upon clones of people with the help of AI and human DNA.

But it wasn't easy.

Within the first trials, he was able to make Gabriella using his DNA, but she only lived up to a week when her internal organs failed due to missing chromosomes. He found out he couldn't make Gabriella without your DNA.

He almost gave up then.

Almost.

The second time, he tried you, using some DNA of a random woman he found.

You only lived for a week when your brain had miscalculations since it couldn't match with the DNA and with the codes he input and before he knew it, your brain self- destructed.

Trials upon trials pile up to a stack.

A missing limb.

An extra finger.

A missing organ.

So on and so forth, failed expirements pile up.

He remembers how much he was persistent on the project, so much that Lyla had to call for Peter and Jess to spray him sleeping gas and connect his body to IVs and nutrition tubes.

But he still didn't give up.

He finally found the solution when he went to another universe, where you are well alive and so is Gabi.

He fought the urge to stay within the universe, but he had learnt his lesson already.

While he watched you and Gabi sleep, he took it an opportunity to take a couple of hairstrands.

After collecting, he undid his mask and kissed your forehead and left with a heavy heart.

But he finally did it.

He remembers how joyous he felt.

He remembers smiling, which felt like since eternity since the last time he did.

Even Lyla was surprised when he stopped giving her angry demands and shouts.

He looked at the computer and saw that your organs,brain, and overall body were stable.

He still had leftover hair samples from you, and with his DNA sample, he also could make Gabriella.

He remembers staring at the capsule for so long that he swore he could be a statue until Lyla had to make him move eventually.

So here he was.

Looking at the unconscious and floating bodies of you and Gabi.

His palm automatically places itself on the glass, and if he imagines hard enough, he could feel your warmth from it.

He looked at the moniter next to your capsule and saw it was still fifty-six per cent, after seventy per cent he could then input the videos he took into your brain which could be made up to your memories, but alas, progress was slow.

His attention then shifted to Gabriella's capsule.

He remembers the way you would always remind him of how much she looks like him.

He would always respond back that Gabi's smile and laugh matches yours.

Oh, how much he misses those sounds.

He looked at her percentage, and it was still the same. Her heartbeat is stable and has a healthy condition.

"Miguel, you have a call." Lyla suddenly appeared on his shoulder.

He sighed, remembering he still has spider duties.

He went back to the platform, and once it started lifting up again, he looked at both of your capsules once again until the lights automatically turned off, leaving him staring at nothing.

He knows it will take forever for you and Gabi to be completely alive again.

But he'll wait even if it takes forever.

[wolvertooth]

(scene where james reunites with john + scene after john dies and james is talking to remy)

so this got me thinking about the dynamics in team x--

its probably safe to say that john is james's first bestfriend other than victor. after james left, he was also the next to leave the team, so they probably had similar views about team x. both being alcoholics, they probably drank a lot together back in the day. its also briefly shown that they have a back n forth teasing thing going on, and victor was likely jealous of that.

i can see victor n wade getting along. before all the antihero stuff, wades character was very much all about PLEASEEEE LET ME KILL i need to kill pleaspelaplsee🥺🥺kill????kill now?????? and thats the case for this version, so victor n him would obviously bond over that. plus their shitty childhoods and daddy issues. and its like a breath of fresh air after the recent years of his brother getting sick of violence. and hes human, so that part might fuck him up a bit thinking about how easy he could die....i can see them being fwb too

i feel like victor gets along with fred dukes in a way where fred feels kinda like a cool older friend(despite victor being way older)(just the vibes). and hes also the second guy hes met that he can actually have an equal fight with. i think the scene in the plane implies that james also kinda hangs out with him too, but probably just bcuz his brother does. i think its rare victor gets friends like that, especially in war when everyones constantly dying, so hanging out with someone other than james that he actually gives a shit about would be like. a new feeling. also, shown in the promo tv spot, dukes talks about really being into war, which is another thing for him and victor to bond over.

ive read some fics where bradley and agent zero date, so thats how i see em. separate from the others. nobody really hangs out with them.

after james left, i feel like the other members got more scared of victor due to not having james around to keep him from potentially being a threat. tho i dont think wade would be as scared of him. i mean, its not like they were scared at first, dukes seems like the guy to actually care a bit when seeing him start to mentally deteriorate from feeling abandoned by his brother. but eventually after those 6 years, he just kinda became a lost cause(especially with stryker constantly manipulating his daddy issues, which was more of a thing in the script)

[the-s1lly-corner]

not sure if you have done something like this before but can you do one where the reader is the type to call everyone pet names? Kind of like Caine does, like "my dear", "darling", stuff like that

TADC cast x reader who calls them pet names!

ooouuugh characters who call people names of endearment habitually my beloved <33 gotta be one of my favorite genres of character; side eyes itward and dick knubbler and caine unrelated to everything im so mad it took me so long to listen to psycho teddy ive literally had it on loop all day and yesterday while i write RAAAAAAAH romantic leaning by the way! though some can be platonic if you squint, i think!!

CAINE:

honestly i think caine only calls people endearing names platonically and on occasion, but i think you calling him the same style of names it makes his habit more prevalent. i think the first time you call him something like dear, hon, or darling, he kind of does a double take. i mean, hes always the one saying names, but hes never really... been the one on the receiving end... now im not sure if you wanted this to be platonic or romantic, but i think regardless of which this one is; caine loves it and makes it known. you guys experiment to see which names are his favorite eheeh

POMNI:

i think it would take her some time to get used. i think the main reason she didnt really react to caine calling her those names was due to the shock, just to add some explanation for this post in particular on why she didnt seem to mind... i think if there were any names that made her uncomfortable, she would let you know! does eventually embrace it and probably asks if somethings wrong if you call her by her actual name

RAGATHA:

honestly i can easily see ragatha using terms of endearment for those shes close to (like in a general sense, not just familial or romantically) and i can also see her being a huge fan of being called them! i dont think shes been bold enough to ask to be called them, though, so when you just call her dear and love shes over the moon! probably makes a matching name for you! you become to darling to her dear, the bear to her honey, the sweetheart to her sweetpea, and so on and so forth. i just think... that would be really sweet... you know?

JAX:

calls you a really dumb name in response; like shnookums or something within that ballpark. honestly i think it depends on how you say it, when you say it, and how close you guys are when you call him any endearing name. personally i dont think jax likes public affections, since he kind of views it as vulnerability.... at least when hes on the receiving end. bro is weird like that, you know? only lets you call them any of those names behind closed doors.... thinks... surprises you one day by calling you a normal nickname... since usually its the above example or something completely out of no where like. "Mesopotamia" or "20 ton semi truck carrying 720 thunder fucking pounds of freight" or something just as hyper specific

KINGER:

oh i think he would love it a lot! probably calls you a name back in response, perhaps even one that matches; similar to what ragatha does! maybe its because hes old and he gives off nice dad/grandpa vibes, i can see him calling people that he cares about names of endearment (hes only 48)

thinks... though i do think he pauses the first time trying to process what you just called him.. takes him a few seconds before realizing. kind of like the "oh IM pretty boy!" audio but replace pretty boy with any name

ZOOBLE:

i think zooble is the only one who doesnt like endearing names; like i think in a romantic sense they would like it but only really like babe/baby, and not much else... very picky with what they do like, at least for this instance. definitely going to take some experimenting to see what sticks and what doesnt. funny little scenario but imagine sitting with them trying to find something they like and you call them something absolutely abhorrent, perhaps something akin to the "pookie bear with whipped cream and sprinkles on top" meme but WAAAAAY over the top and zooble just. "absolutely not."

not too mean to harsh with rejecting any names, though. but they are blunt about what they do and dont like

GANGLE:

honestly if this isnt romantic and this is platonic, she sees it the same way as when an older lady calls you a sweet name,... you know? does the ^w^ she does in her character intro short thing, me thinks, whenever you call her any name. very shy and sheepish about calling you any names in return, give her some time shes trying to hype herself up so she can return the same energy! only really likes it when you call her those endearing names, i fear that SOMEONE is going to tease her for it... poor girl.... explodes jax with my neurodivergant brain

[rainbow-neko-artblog]

Use this ask as an excuse to infodump about something you haven't been asked about yet :3

Awww Match my friend you spoil me.

Alright! Anyone who likes my work probably knows that ive been posting a lot about my newest oc, a fairy named Shane from the Hatchetfield universe by Team Starkid.

Because hes an oc and i think Starkids fanbase is still pretty small obviously no one is ever gonna ask me about him. So ill just take this opportunity to talk about him and my headcanons for fairies and other creatures in hatchetfield!

Starting with the obvious. "What the fuck, theres no fairies in hatchetfield" cause yea, there isnt in canon. but I LIKE FAIRIES! So i decided to make it possible.

Basically- the lords in black are probably feeding off of humanity right? That being said i'm not sure why other realms aside from the black and white wouldn't form? we as humans believe in a lot of things! This belief allows for my personal headcanon of creatures in hatchetfield to form:

This is only the most basic chart- In all actuality the real chart would have a lot more circles to represent other realms then the black and white and the wilds connecting with earth.

Humans believe in eldritch creatures, low and behold- they exist. Humans believe in the fae, so they exist. These form other worlds all intrinsically connected to ours- from there the inhabitants can manipulate us into keeping them alive through worship, belief, ect. This is why humans tell folklore stories and make up things about eldritch deities. We made them- they're just keeping themselves alive.

Because of this- humans have also unfortunately split our world countless times into timelines as well- as that's a commonly talked about thing. From the outside this allows other worlds to pick and choose what timeline they enter or fuck with- and one of the many reasons why entering the feywilds is such a bad idea- because you can get spit out at the wrong time. This also might cause accidental duplication of self upon crossing back and forth between realms.

The wilds is ruled by it's own Lord much like The Lords in Black, but the Fey Wilds only have one. He's a massive egotistical douche- as its usually described in most texts about Oberon. He's also the one who stripped Shane of his wings and banished him from the wilds as he was deemed much to deadly to remain.

(Shane's extremely paranoid about danger and getting hurt- he fears death more then most and turns to violence when frightened- causing him to kill several fairies, humans, and hurting even lords in his lowest moments.)

Quickly being thrown out into earth from another plane means Shane exists in some timelines but not all and not even really that many.

His lord abandoning him in such a manner is what forces him to seek help from The Lords in Black- and the way he goes about this varies between timelines of course. In some he accidently courts them- in some he's simply their friend- or on occasion he's a follower of one of them. Due to how he enters hatchetfield you will always find him in an abandoned cabin in the woods surrounding hatchetfield over anywhere else.

[barb-l]

Yeees totally! With Enid probably picking stores strategically beforehand because she knows Wednesday can only take so much before her social batteries run out for the day. She's also totally buying her something other than black and white.. maybe in a beautiful dark blue colour and for whatever, whatever reason Wednesday will be compelled to wear it (when they are alone.) Oh no.. I have way too much thoughts and feelings about them.

Ohh I will be ecstatic about anything you decide to write for them. I loved your first fic tons, it's so very well-written! 😊

Oh dark blue could work. Pretty sure that's what she was wearing in Addams Family Values.

Aww thanks! I'm actually working on a summer break fic rn, but i've been hesitant to keep going cuz ive been considering just waiting to watch the show first cuz i wanna know what Enid's family/pack is like by the end of the show. I'll probably be changing a ton of stuff, or just scrap the whole thing altogether, after i've watched the show, so let me just post what i have so far here:

(sorry im on my mobile and can't put it under read more)

💀💀💀💀💀💀

Enid didn't really expect anything when she gave Wednesday her number. For one, Wednesday didn't have a phone and has sworn that she will never have one.

But just in case...

As, uh, rocky as their start was as roommates, Wednesday has grown on Enid. Like a mold. Maybe due to Stockholm Syndrome. Jury's still up as to how Wednesday feels about her. But after going up against a homicidal monster and rogue Nevermore student together, she likes to think that she has managed to go past being merely a thorn on Wednesday's side and dug her way to the other girl's shriveled, pea-sized heart.

So just before they leave Nevermore for the long-awaited summer break, she gave Wednesday her phone number to let her know that she can contact her if she ever gets sick of tormenting her brother and wants to bother Enid instead.

Wednesday raised a brow when she's handed the piece of paper with Enid's digits and sceptically looked at her. "Why?"

Enid didn't expect Wednesday to ask at the time. Truthfully she expected her to wordlessly throw it away and was prepared for another bout of back and forth squabble like they've always done. Maybe even tease her over how she's too much of an old lady on the inside to even figure out how to use a phone anyway. It was fun. What's not fun is admitting that she will miss her. She didn't prepare to be asked why.

"I don't know," is what Enid ended up saying. "Just..." She shrugged, turned away from Wednesday's calculating gaze to finish zipping up her bag. "I don't know."

"Hm."

Enid didn't like that reaction. Like Wednesday just caught her doing something embarrassing. So she took her bag, gave Wednesday a saccharinely fake smile, and said, "See ya, weirdo!" before running away with her tail tucked between her legs.

----

Enid spends the first two weeks of summer break agonizing over how humiliating that was. Who gives their number to a girl who doesn't even have a phone? Desperate idiots, that's who.

If Wednesday knew how much Enid was suffering just thinking about her, she'd be smiling in satisfaction.

...and now Enid has started thinking about Wednesday's smile, wicked as it may be, and has buried her face in her pillow. This time she's suffering for different, more embarrassing reasons.

She didn't expect anything, honest to god, so when she receives a notification one day for a text from an unknown number, she couldn't believe her eyes.

Greetings, Enid Sinclair, it reads.

Against my better judgement, I have gone and acquired a phone. I still maintain the belief that they are unnecessary and annoying, but you were, regrettably, right. Lighting Pugsley up in the good ol' electric chair has not been the same since Nevermore.

Perhaps it's due to everything else that we have gone through the whole semester. Monsters and what-not can't compare.

Though money has never been an issue to an Addams, I expect that you will make my purchase worthwhile by granting me amusement. Go ahead, regale me of your woes spending school break locked in a whole different kind of prison with your family. I don't expect it to be any worse of a time than I have had, but I haven't lost hope.

Forever in darkness,

Wednesday Addams

Enid rolls her eyes when she finishes reading the absurdly long text, but there's a smile she can't contain when she fondly mutters, "So edgy."

She doesn't reply right away. Mostly because she doesn't know what to say, and also because she spent a good fifteen minutes just re-reading the message, giggling over the mental image of Wednesday going to the mall and buying a phone, all for her.

... Well, maybe not, but Enid doesn't have enough self-control in her to deny a hungry ego.

She knows that the text has been shown as read on Wednesday's end by know, but she pays it no mind. With all the torture having Wednesday on her mind has brought her, she deserves to do it back.

After spending much too long of her time erasing and retyping, she finally replies.

u dont have to sign n write texts like letters yunno. U can just talk like normal

Enid once again laughs when she sees that her text was immediately read. Wednesday spends two minutes conjuring up a reply, and Enid spends the whole time watching the dots on the the bubble move as she lies in bed.

Eventually, Wednesday sends a reply.

Your spelling is atrocious.

Enid wonders if Wednesday would get offended if she tells her how often she has made her laugh.

That's more like it, Enid texts in return.

[trainingdummyrabbit]

OC ask game woohoo!!!

3, 20, 29, 30?

gooooodmorning!! back at it ^_^/

3. What inspired you to make a certain character?

honestly ? for th funy lc cast, itwas mostly just seeing other folks running around w their ocs :] iliked seeing peoples little beasts, so i wanted some little beasts to play too. thats how istarted making cocoa! she was supposed t just be a silly lil thang but uhhhhhhhhh . As One Does ^_^

20. Do any of your OCs have pets? What kind? NAME?

EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT MY GUY heres yui again. he has a very totally normal rat named chestnut that was pawned off on given to him by a . fffriend ? yeah. 👍 ilu chestnut

29. Do any of your OCs have AU designs/stories?

a few, yeah!! aus are my favorite favorite thing t toss around in th whole world, so like uh uh well. They Keep Happening <33 like what if character lives? what if character makes a different decision? (though its kinda cheating bc i already cant decide what happens so everything is kinda quasi-canon till i get it together dfjgndk) theres one with rose and wolfe that is Killing Me To Death but i Still havent laid down the baseline so i CANT . SAY ANYTHING YET. orz though also theres one ive had in my pocket i hadnt found th chance to pull up yet, so ykno uh . ^_^ heehoo

Oops ! All Distortion. heres not!cocoa. nameless as of right now, partially bc i havent found something that fits, and partially because i think its funny (<- mean) anyway woe. tfw youre just trying t navigate being alive after experiencing ego death and everyone keeps trying to yank you in different directions and shape you into something else entirely when you can barely hold a shape on your own so you simply decide to become nothing at all. sad ! oh well, theres other uh. uhhhhh.. hm. this is kind of th Worst of what can come of cocoa and luci's whatever-the-hell. luci is completely convinced she understands cocoa's character and actively pushes the worst parts of them forward in the name of some sort of "self actualization," in response to their complete and total shutting off at. just about everything. unfortunately, she completely misreads what exactly that manifests As due to her preoccupation with her Own self actualization-- and instead of drawing forth any buried emotion or desire, all it really does is kinda... shut them down completely. their desire wasnt to lash out at anything, it was simply to get things to stop. and stop they did. theyre not much of anything anymore. nobody is happy with this.

30. Which OC has been the hardest to develop/design so far?

HIM.

hes really important to everything bc hes kind of. a catalyst, in a way, to The Bullshit. the issue is i know most of the What, its just the How and Why thats such an issue. also unfortunately, i started writing him before i started watching thru limbus, but once i did i realized hes kinda just like sinclair but to the left a little bit which. head in hands. Unfortunate; so its once again a balancing act of getting things together while tying threads and also Avoiding Making Character 2. which is Hard bc this is just!!!! what hes like!!! iknow i probably shouldnt worry abt it too much but this is like the fourth or fifth time ive accidentally just made Character But Again and i just. GRABS. SHAKES. UGH THE ISSUES.

[sneakyscarab]

hello! it's been a while since ive written out my thoughts about touhou! part of the reason why is that i've been working on a website of my own, which now hosts all my grimoire of nina entries with enhanced bonus features! plus a lot of other things on other pages but this is the relevant part to this post. i'm not sure whether i want to continue making tumblr versions of the posts now that i've set this up, but for now im gonna do both a tumblr edition and a neocities edition. with that out of the way lets get started on...

Touhou 1-5 PC98 Extravaganza!

after finishing the main series (and taking a probably needed break from bullet hells for a bit) I went back to the beginning and checked out the first wave of Touhou, the 5 PC98 games!

putting this up front, while i absolutely respect what these games did to kick off the series and get things going, i cant say i was very fond of them, so the overall tone of this writing is on the neutral to negative side. just something i feel i should note. with that said, let’s get started.

Touhou 1 - Highly Responsive to Prayers

Highly Responsive to Prayers is a weird game. contrary to what one would expect, the First Touhou Game is not a vertical scrolling shooter like others. HRtP is instead a sort of breakout/arkanoid type game, where you control a miko-shaped paddle named Reimu running back and forth bouncing a giant yin-yang orb that clears up tiles, beating a stage once you’ve cleared the screen. it does actually have whispers of the series’ future though, with turrets in levels that shoot bullets towards you, Reimu having a amulet-shooting ability (influence the orb's movement), screen-clearing bombs, and menacing boss fights.

you heard me right, this breakout clone has boss fights, and theyre kinda wild. every 5th stage is a boss, which have big hitboxes and shoot out tons of bullets and other attacks which you have to simultaneously avoid while also manipulating your orb in order to hit the boss (because only the orb does damage). After beating the first boss youre given a branching path between Makai or Hell, and either choice gives you 15 more stages for a total of 20.

overall HRtP is a very bizarre and not particularly great game, but its uniqueness makes it really stand out, and if you're in the market to play a weird breakout/bullet hell game for whatever reason you should try it out.

Touhou 2 - Story of Eastern Wonderland

now This is a Touhou game! released alongside HRtP at Comiket 52, Story of Eastern Wonderland is what i would say is the true first Touhou game, being a vertical scrolling shooter with 6 stages, fancy boss fights, and ridiculous characters.

right out of the gate SoEW shows off how wacky the PC98 era lore is, with the first stage containing not one but two military tanks as boss fights. the third stage's boss as well is a weird metallic wall with 5 "eyes" and innumerable laser cannons. its wild. as for gameplay, it's pretty much what you would consider Standard Touhou, although with some features missing that havent been invented yet, notably the movement-slowing Focus mechanic.

one interesting thing about this game is the colour choice: likely due to palette restrictions pretty much the entire game is a combo of red+purple, with the occasional blue+green sprites. even marisa is not immune, having bright red hair only in this game alongside a purple robe+hat.

its very surprising how close SoEW already is to the modern gameplay loop, although i guess it shouldnt be Too surprising considering scrolling shooters are like one of the first game genres ever made. its a pretty fun time, but also pretty rough around the edges.

Touhou 3 - Phantasmagoria of Dim. Dream

if you thought we would stablize into the regular style now that we've seen SoEW, you'd be off the mark. Phantasmagoria of Dim Dream is actually a VS game in the same style as the later PoFV and UDoALG titles! it was really surprising to me seeing just how much experimentation was going on with the series this early in its lifespan, but I suppose that happened a lot back then.

in terms of gameplay PoDD plays surprisingly similar to PoFV, with the same enemy combos, sending spells at each other through a charge meter, and summoning yourself as a boss fight on the other guy's screen as an ultimate move. it even has the same insane boss summon rebound mechanic and the same cheating bastard final boss ai!

one funny difference is that, since faeries hadnt yet been established as go-to mooks, the enemies during duels are a variety of random things. besides ghosts you just have star, moon, or heart shapes with ' ' and ^^ faces. theyre so abstract I kinda love it lol.

like SoEW its surprisingly functional for its age, although also like that game it still lacks features like focus, leaving it being unpolished in comparison to newer variations of this formula. unless youre a PC98 enthusiast id recommend playing PoFV or UDoALG instead, especially since the multiplayer on this one is local-only.

Touhou 4 - Lotus Land Story

now things are starting to standardize. Lotus Land Story is another vertical scrolling shooter and adds in a bunch of features not in SoEW that would go on to be series mainstays: focus, boss phases, boss item drops, and most notably having Marisa as a deuteragonist! if SoEW was a standard touhou missing some features, LLS is taking steps to a full on touhou game, missing just a few mechanics from EoSD, notably the spell card system and point-of-collection line.

LLS is also notable for a few other reasons, one being the character Yuuka who is one of the few PC98 characters to get remade in the windows games, and the other being the origin of the iconic song Bad Apple!! which got remixed by nomico and memed half to death.

Its pretty good, albeit still rough around the edges and missing the sort of spark thats found in later entries.

Touhou 5 - Mystic Square

Mystic Square is where we settle in, playing identical to LLS, which means theres not much to talk about. there are 2 more playable characters than LLS, with both Mima and Yuuka. Mystic Square also includes the 4th and final PC98 character to get remade later in the Windows canon, Alice Margatroid. besides the name and the blonde hair though theres pretty much nothing connecting the two Alices together. if you liked Lotus Land Story you'll probably like this too, i dunno.

alrighty with all those games out of the way its time to talk about the characters of note. and of course if theres one name thats synonymous with PC98 its...

Mima! appearing in four of the five games of this era, Mima is the most consistent character besides Reimu and Marisa, and yet she has never been seen since Mystic Square. this may be a hot take, but i think Mima is emblematic of a lot of the qualities of this era that make it hard to get into from a story perspective. for starters, Mima is incredibly inconsistent. She shows up 4 times and is basically a different character each time; being a random Hell boss in HRtP, a vengeful spirit bent on destroying all humanity (except Marisa i guess?) in SoEW, a woman of few words and a short temper in PoDD, and a snarky bully who tells blatant lies just to see how people react in MS. she also has a weird conceptual design and wack power scaling, being a ghost who was never alive, always been a ghost, who also for some reason has like dragon wings but only when she gets angry (Marisa also has these in PoDD which is really bizarre) and shes able to simply escape being magically sealed away as if she was cracking the seal on a pickle jar and casually beats up everyone in Mystic Square without even blinking. While i do like elements of her character (her lying bastard personality from MS is pretty funny and I see why people would want that back) i think its for the best that she stays in the PC98 era, the one seal she cannot break free of. If she were to come back, so much would have to be rewritten either of the world around her or Mima herself that she would basically be a different character entirely, which i think would cause way more drama than her return is worth.

moving on, lets talk about Genjii! this old fart is basically Reimu's grandpa who is also a magical flying turtle. since Reimu doesnt know how to fly in these games, her pops Genjii gives her a ride whenever she needs to go solve an incident. He also acts as a straight-man to Reimu's comedy in her storylines, often questioning the bizarre things that she says or weird noises she makes. he's just a funny turtle grandpa and i'm here for it. while Genjii has never officially appeared in a game in the Windows era, ZUN has stated that the reason is that he's just enjoying his retirement. Reimu can fly on her own now, so he's just resting in the pond out behind the shrine, doing whatever it is grandpa turtles do in their free time. good for him :>

the last character spotlight is for Meira! she's a cool samurai lady from stage 2 of SoEW who was also Reimu's gay awakening :P (for context, Meira and Reimu's pre-battle conversation is a bit where Meira claims to seek the Hakurei Maiden [for her power] but Reimu assumes that Meira's hitting on her. After clarifying that Meira wants to fight Reimu and take her power after winning, Reimu counter-offers by implying that she'll take Meira as her girlfriend if she wins.) this was almost certainly just intended as a joke, but considering that Touhou Project is basically a yuri wonderland its very funny to see gay implications in literally the second spoken conversation in the entire series. besides that, Meira also has cool attacks utilizing her sword where she makes huge slashes in the air that explode into bullets after a second, which were probably inspiration for Youmu's sick swordplay five games later.

and thats the PC98 era! with these games under my belt ive now played each whole-numbered entry in the series, woo~! so having played them all, what are my thoughts on the origins of Touhou?

i'll start by clarifying that i am generally not a 'Retro Gamer'. while i acknowledge the importance of early entries into series, they are very frequently rough, unpolished, or just straight up unfun because the devs are still working out the kinks on how they want the series to go. this is doubly so for games from this pre-2000s era, where game design in general was still a new concept and most games were working off arcade standards of high difficulty to steal quarters. early Touhou is not exempt from this, these games are missing a lot of features added later that make the games more fun, and the difficulty is much higher with a lot more 'bullshit' design like bullets that spawn on your character or a lack of proper resources given on respawn leading to a cycle of death.

all said, i cant say i really enjoyed my time with the PC98 titles. you may have noticed that i didn't mention 1cc runs so far in this article, and the reason for that is i couldnt find the motivation to keep trying for more runs like i did with the future games. mix that in with the bizarre, nonsensical, and often self-contradictory writing and you have a recipe for mediocrity. PoDD in particular is an absolute dearth of writing and worldbuilding. most character interactoins are like one sentence long, and the plot involves two scientists on a "Probability Space Hypervessel" who somehow invited in the characters from Gensokyo to the real world so that they could capture them and steal their magic for clout. In Marisa's route after she beats them up they give her a weapon as a reward which is a ICBM with a smiley face that Marisa names Mimi-chan and rides around instead of her broom. like its all so ridiculous you can just tell that these were like student projects done by a dude in his free time and not a serious attempt at making a world or story.

overall i just really have trouble finding passion for these titles compared to the later entries, to the point that i had to shove all 5 of these games into a single article and its about as much writing as Subterranean Animism alone. im sorry if youre a big PC98 and/or Mima enjoyer but theyre not for me, and i have to say im glad that Touhou moved on and evolved past this point.

thank you for reading, and i'll see you next time, whenever that is!

[freshlybakedspiderbread]

I am sending you Aya Shameimaru. she is here in your ask box now. chirping

..no im kidding, i would never want to repel our pure and honest reporter despite her everything

General opinion/How much I care about them: so theres a strong bias due to the fact that my very first exposure to touhou as a whole was hearing pofv's Wind God Girl back in 2009, and by extension Aya herself was the very first character from the series I came to know. I dont think i immediately came to obsess over her or anything and probably only came to like her for real much later... That said i feel like ive known her my whole life and she's top contender for my single Favourite character. It used to be that she only competed with Seiga for that title but i guess there's a lot of characters i could go just as if not more nuts about given the right time of day...

her schtick as an earnest but kinda shady reporter of the ''''truth''' has never gotten old and im pretty sure she's only gotten even more despicable in her methods over the years, but i love all that about her. the tengu has a whole in gensokyo have gotten a whole lot of expansion but i still consider aya to be our main focal point of that group and its always fun to think about how role as an exceptionally long-lived youkai and her perspective on both tengu society and gensokyo as a whole.

Also how lucky was I that i chose Aya, an actual important recurring character who will reliably keep showing up in canon, as one of my favs? I'd be living so differently if i had latched onto like, Medicine or Yuuka instead 😛 (then again i did mention Seiga above and I kinda dont expect her to ever be relevant again so its a matter of context 😝)

A ship I love: There are a bunch of Aya ships I know of and even like, and the ones I most often think about are probably Hatate and Reimu.

But i'm gonna vary it up and talk instead about Aya/Nemuno, something I wish we got even a little more scrap of back in th16. I mean every other player character got some with their matching season character! I choose to believe that even after that one meeting, Aya still makes regular visits to that cave, having designated Nemuno as her go-to yamamba contact despite Nemuno gripping about their supposed non-interference treaty. But Nemuno doesn't mind that much (since she usually doesnt chase Aya away with a cleaver) and comes to begrudgingly kinda like her, which i guess is the reaction to Aya in every ship of hers?

(I also think she's got complicated layered history with megumu which i talked about a little in an older post!)

A non-romantic relationship that I love: actually maybe i should have talked about reimu or hatate above and then saved nemuno for here. i actually want to say ahead of time for this part of the asks that even if i might not immediately default to romantic in a relationship, it uh... wouldnt take a lot for me to see it that way if needed.

That said, i like the thought that both Marisa and Sanae are regularish visitors to whatever hidden tengu infrastructure is in the mountain. Sanae because shes a neighbour with a pass and Marisa because she goes wherever she pleases. Aya being the tengu closest to humans is typically the one tasked to handle their needs or deal with them, with which Sanae she probably gets along with fine, though with Marisa theres probably more hidden ire going on there with how she's typically intruding (the hypocrisy of how aya's always hanging around the human village is always brought up by marisa in response)

The NOTP: gonna say this regarding this part of all these asks, outside of questoinable stuff like incest or so on, there usually aren't ships that i am Against. At worst, i may just not personally see the appeal or much prefer a different dynamic of the relationship.

so um.... ive never really managed to get excited over Aya/Momiji? Like I think they have a very funny potential back-and-forth, but begrudging tolerance is the usual best i see from Momiji's side and i actually much prefer the angles you cold go with Momiji/Hatate. (aya/hatate/momiji love triangle...? 🤔)

My biggest headcanon about them:

she's Old. 👵 Like, thats not just headcanon to me but is actually vital to her character that she is not just long-lived by youkai standards, but shes one of the few tengu around who lived through their developing history, watched their society and gensokyo changed in real time, and adapted in turn with it all. This goes hand in hand with how she simultaneously has great pride as a tengu yet also holds bitterness towards some of the ways they have changed (or havent changed).

Also after messing enough with kappa-made cameras over the decade, she now also fiddles with custom models with her own self-made modifications 📷

An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: Talking about ideas is kinda embarrassing for me because i mean... what if i never actually do any of em? 😅 well whatever gonna try not to let that bother me...

for a story about her specifically, there's probably a neat tale to be had like a few decades prior to her being assigned the odd role of 'reporter' and bitterly taking to it, but then gradually coming to make it into her own passion more than any other crow tengu... Imagine the first time she looked at a particularly nice photo she took and imagined the story it told, and her heart fluttering in a way it had never done so before.

Something that makes me thing of them: every journalist archetype in fiction i've seen since and even before 2009 😄 No but if i say i think of her every time i see like, a camera or newspaper, how insane am i going to sound? girls who only thinks about aya going "getting a lot of aya vibes from this"

[brofisting]

2️⃣3️⃣ BANGERS FROM 2023 🎶

I listened to a lot of music in 2023!!! I love music!! There was sooooo much new-to-me music that I found this year, especially since I really committed to listening more widely to k-pop.

BUT if I made a list of new-to-me music I enjoyed this year we would be here forever, so I've made a list of 23 songs that came out in 2023 that made my year, and that I wanted to share with people. Enjoy!!! (I stuck to one song per artist, with one exception.)

Commentary under the cut!

Memories, RIIZE – What can I say; they're my boys of 2023. This is probably not going to be their sound going forward but I'm so glad they put it out as their first ever full song, because it's the perfect boyband song and it hooked me from day one.

Baggy Jeans, NCT U – This is Thee song of 2023. I will entertain no arguments on that.

The Last One, Maisie Peters – This did the same thing to my brain this year that Taylor Swift's Long Live did to it in 2010 which I think says everything.

Angel Eyes, NCT 127 – Yes, I realize NCT 127 is most known for crazy anti-music. This is like... anti-anti-music. It's Doyoung Does Journey. It's perfect in every way and I love it so much.

Naked In Manhattan, Chappell Roan – I realize this technically came out as a single in 2022 but I didn't appreciate it then and when I was picking a song off The Rise & Fall Of A Midwestern Princess it had to be this one, for me.

get him back!, Olivia Rodrigo – Everyone loves it for a reason, the reason is because it rules.

Something To Believe In, Kesha – If you haven't listened to Kesha's album from this year do yourself a favor and go do so right now. It's discomfiting and gorgeous.

CAKE, KARD – I dunno why I thought KARD was going to be music for heterosexuals. It is not music for heterosexuals. Watch the dance practice to see a giant LA frat-adjacent boy serve cunt.

On My Youth (English Version), WayV – This whole album rules but this stands out to me as a really great song that works perfectly both in Chinese and in English. They really sell it and it slaps. Also, the dance challenge they did for it stands out as the most fun one I saw all year, which really has nothing to do with the song but made me follow them on Instagram and now I'm obsessed with them.

Paint The Town Red, Doja Cat – Another one where it's just like... The Masses Are Correct. It's great.

Good Enough, CHANYEOL – This song makes my entire body and brain relax.

Beautiful Liar, MONSTA X – Classic Monsta X, fun and exciting and interesting and cool as hell. Video rules. So grateful we got this before they all had to enlist this year.

Back for More (with Anitta), TOMORROW X TOGETHER – The squawk of outrage that I made when I watched this video for the first time and Kai was hot in it.........also it was on repeat for a solid 4 weeks. It's catchy, Anita's part is great, and it ruined my life a little.

Get it? Got it? Good (feat. Amber Liu), Jessica – A late addition that is on repeat as we speak. Proof that a good hook is magic, IMO.

I AM, IVE – I'm ashamed that it took seeing IVE in concert to realize how fucking great they are, but they are so great, and this entire album is so solid with this song as the glittering diamond in it.

Voice, JOOHONEY – This one also feels a bit like cheating because I actually heard it in 2022, in concert. But it came out this year on Jooheon's solo album, and it's just... so, so good, and it makes me feel so much.

God Of Music, SEVENTEEN – I went back and forth between this and Super, but in the end, this won out for sounding like a party in progress, and being the Seventeen song that made me really take a second look at them and promptly fall down the rabbit hole. It's so fucking good, and it's so fucking fun, and they deserve all the recognition they got this year.

TOPLINE (Feat. Tiger JK), Stray Kids – A very Stray Kids song, by Stray Kids. I think it's my favorite from them this year, though there's definitely competition. This is winning due to the amount that I sing along to it in my kitchen.

BOUNCY (K-HOT CHILLI PEPPERS), ATEEZ – ATEEZ are more my boys-in-law than my boys, but far be it from me to deny that BOUNCY is one of the songs of the year. I cannot put that shit on without dancing along.

One Kiss, Red Velvet – Chill Kill is a phenomenal album front to back, but this song stands out as soooo perfect. Throwback vibes but feels contemporary, great vocals, lots of fun.

Guilty, TAEMIN – Primarily I'm obsessed with the artistic choices Taemin made on this album, but even discounting that, this song is a masterpiece.

NO PROBLEM (Feat. Felix of Stray Kids), NAYEON – This is a light, fun, kind of soothing bop which, if it were anyone else who'd featured I'd have probably been like "why did you ruin it with a random feature", but somehow since it's Felix featured he just brightens it up even further. I love it.

Talk Saxy, RIIZE – Yeah, of course this was going to be the artist who got two. What can I say. I was skeptical when the title "Talk Saxy" dropped, and then was made to eat my words so thoroughly I am now obligated to talk up Talk Saxy every time RIIZE comes up for the rest of my life. A perfect boyband bop, goofily age appropriate song, great dance, great vocals, good boys. Made me so excited about their future and sealed the being obsessed with them deal. Hashtag Stan RIIZE.

[adelle-ein]

hi! i cant believe i saw ur post about my tags! (no worries about @ing or not @ing me.) and ur SO RIGHT about the quality being too high for 2013… (id also love an aesthetic writeup)

it really was just a surprise because the number of gif creators has been drastically reduced since this post type has been dying out on all other platforms. for me it gave me the similar vibe of recent dvd movies being redesigned for vhs covers (tho not quite that old). it was super charming!

and i hope i didnt imply that your gif work was bad or outdated! i think the colors are quite fitting and the quality speaks for itself.

im quite new to the fe3h and ferdibert scene, so im having a great time trawling tumblr for all the great posts ive missed since 2019. i was quite happy to see this particular gif post because it felt like such a classic tumblr staple, like all ships need (at least) one dedicated set of gifs/edits, and this was the one i needed 🥰

thanks again, for both your original post AND reply!

Hi! I'm glad there's no worries there, I went back and forth for a bit and I didn't want it to feel like a callout post because. it was very much not! I just wanted to talk about gif stuff a little bit

and I definitely don't feel bad about your comments or anything! At first I was surprised but when I went and looked at the gifset I definitely agreed with you (despite nitpicks about the time period heh.) It did make me think about how, in general, I don't think tumblr gif-making trends have continued changing as much since the mid-2010s, and if they have I stopped really keeping up with them. I think some of that is probably just me, esp due to my never buying Photoshop CC (i remember looking at others' methods in maybe 2016ish and seeing that I just didn't have the tools others did anymore. my old CS6 is still chugging along…) but also due to the site becoming less popular over time and there being less interest and fewer people getting into gif-making. Like you said it's a bit of a dying medium, and it's never really been a popular post type on other platforms, so if not for tumblr who would people be making gifsets for?

Lol I definitely feel you about that style of post being an older ship staple though! It used to be such a common thing that every fandom had (albiet less for video games bc that's often harder - I do not honestly remember really making that series of 3h ship gifs but that was definitely dedication to the cause at the time, there was so little media to work with). Now a bit of a dying art alas (including from me since I don't really make many gifs at all anymore….learning to draw instead for a number of reasons)

Anyway yes that was a fun rabbit hole to go down! Genuinely I would love to read a Tumblr gif/graphic aesthetic writeup - putting framerates aside I don't think people really use textures that much anymore for example unless they need a background, and sharpening has definitely been toned down. And fewer song quotes. And filters still lean more pastel than the really saturated stuff in the early 2010s. But I don't really have the time atm to do some kind of deep dive myself…it would be really neat though!

(Also just in general as someone who never left, seeing the site come back to life a little bit as the twitter BS kicked off has been fun…idk if it will last but i'm enjoying it while it does!)

[syrupspinner]

i just defeated Ben and Ed

dead game, am i right?

ill come out and say that, for better or worse, the most notable thing about this game is how much it shows its age.

so, indie games have always been innately countercultural in my opinion. people make indie games because theyre inspired to do something the AAA industry lacks, and a lot of the indie games that pop off into popularity do so because they offer something that mainstream gaming cant. in the current zeitgeist, we can see that best by comparing the innate simplicity and modest of indie games compared to sony's big 10-years-in-the-oven blockbuster. thats not to say indie games dont have work put into them, id never say that the year after pizza tower and sea of stars game out, but those are video games for gamers, not cinematic experiences for the general public

all this is to paint a picture of the mid-aughts, where gamers were freaking the fuck out about their hobby being made casual. the industry didnt want to cater to the same closed circle of hardcore dedication forever, and wanted to follow the wii's success by making gaming something everyone can enjoy. in other words, less call of duty, more wii sports. also unignorable is super meat boy hitting the shelves in 2010. i bought a copy from walmart as a kid (a physical disc that made me download steam to play it) and was shocked by the difficulty and the humour trying way too hard to be offensive. woah, an aborted fetus is the bad guy, youre just like the kid in my class whos mean to girls for attention. either way, it was a runaway success, and set the standard for indies to be rude & tough even if they werent directly inspired

so, ben and ed happens. an unflinchingly difficult platformer that has a meanspirited and gross edge to it. and yeah, this sure reads like someone wanted to make a difficult game all right. it's not I Am Bread levels of fuck-you-just-because, but it still feels like it cares more about being hard than being fair

like, the penultimate level has buzzsaws swinging back and forth across a pit of acid that the platforms dunk you into sometimes. add some laser sharks and we have an avgn bit. but it doesnt feel like ive been given a fun challenge here, just something hard for the sake of saying "look at me i did a tough thing" to all my friends. it doesnt feel intrinsically rewarding to overcome, because the difficulty is cheap

also, in the very same level, you can press tab and ragdoll under everything for like... two minutes straight. thats not hard, dude.

my final conclusion is that this game feels like its chasing trends from the time and doesnt hold up as a result. maybe itd feel less like that if the game didnt have the same "look at me im so dark and yucky" vibe that every newgrounds game had? like, the premise of kidnapping a zombie and making them play wipeout is already bleak enough, you dont have to make the antagonist jontron with acne and litter the game with ads for meat-flavoured dentists or whatever the fuck.

to close this off, i think this whole thing can be summarized by saying if you know about this game in the current year, at least if youre anything like me, you probably know about markiplier losing his shit

whats at the end? ...a facebook link, to a page trying to kickstart an ARG that fizzled out due to lack of interest and seemed to just be a roundabout reference to a creepypasta from almost 15 years ago.

alright

[00neo]

Yesterday's meals: 450kcal

Today's breakfast and lunch: 850kcal

Plus dinner that I couldn't take a pic of but it was chicken and fries and sallad....I had to eat like...more than I wanted to today because I was with family...anyway I estimate it to 383kcal.

Total:1234kcal

Borrowed a bunch of books yesterday from the library. Read a 300page book about anorexia yesterday and during the night. Cried a bunch of times and broke down into a compleat mess all by myself in the middle of the night.

Ive never read so much that is so correct and sounds exactly like me. That book really did something to me and I don't know if it's good or bad. I havent cried before this in over like...a year at least. Probably due to medications and shit but this book broke me.

The last drop that made me lose it and break down, to go from just crying to an absolute depressive, panic and mental breakdown episode was when I read "people with anorexia are pale, have dark rings under their eyes, their nails are dry and ruined and their skin is dry, especially on their hands".

Let me tell you, it was spot on and after having read for hours and cried back and forth, I was exhausted and that last piece made me realize that I'm actually sick. Like I'm like "but I'm not sick enough tho" and yeah I still think that but this book made me realize that I actually like do have an eating disorder. I'm not just faking, I can't just stop, I can't control it and I'll never get out of this without help. Now am I looking for help now? No, I'm not ready for that. My journey isn't done yet and I need to do it my way but I think I for the first time actually accepted that I do have a more low self esteem than I usually care to admit and I validated myself and the fact that I do have real issues with eating.

Just...shit I don't even know how I feel now. Exhausted but also like...hopeless, worthless, like nothing matters and like I'm helpless and powerless. My feelings also kind of have me in a calm state right now. Like, I'm just accepting that I'm powerless and therefore, there's no reason to try.

And I mean like powerless and all in the way that I can't go back and make myself not go through this, I can't make the world that much safer for everyone, I can't change things that have already happened. I just have to live with how my life has been and go from here. It's scary, numbing and freeing at the same time

[relaxxattack]

hi im asking u this bc u seem to be bee duo enthusiast so

ive been calling c! beeduos relationship platonic because i thought that was what their cc’s said, and i thought they had said that they were uncomfortable with ppl shipping the characters. But ive seen a lot of posts that say their relationship is canonically romantic? and i absolutely do not want to come across as homophobic by watering down a mlm relationship to just friends because that happens so much in media so.

what is the canon state of their relationship / ur opinions on the platonic thibg

dont worry abt answering if u dont want to!! i see a lot of differing opinions and i trust yours :)

aw it’s totally fine, im flattered you asked me about this!

let me put it simply: it’s a whole mess, lol.

first im going to talk about what’s happened fandom-wide that caused differing opinions, and then i’ll explain my own opinion/interpretation. :]

(this got really fucking long im so sorry)

ranboo and tubbo initially proclaimed the relationship was romantic, specifically in argument with the wiki editors who had set it as platonic by default. (you can see this in the vod where they decide they’re canonically married— it’s very funny. chat tells them the marriage is already on the wiki, they check, tubbo is jokingly offended that it says platonic and asks if he needs to up the romance).

tubbo also makes jokes about adultry, which sort of implies the relationship is not necessarily a platonic one.

(theres definetly more in that stream alone but it’s been a long time since i watched it so i don’t remember a lot of it.)

the wiki, because of this, suffers from going back and forth on platonic and romantic, seemingly unsure where the joke ends and the canon begins, or if its canonically a joke! a mess, as you can already tell.

this gets more complicated as the marriage bit goes on: outsiders, such as phil and scott, both at one point say “platonic marriage”, which then ranboo and tubbo agree with. however, when chat asks them if they’re platonic, they say the opposite. so there is a lot of confusion there.

there’s also the difficulty of being able to tell streamers and characters apart. ranboo and tubbo both don’t like being shipped irl, and that’s their boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. (they’re also minors, but tbh when they’re 18 in a year i will still be following their boundaries regardless of their legal age).

due to people not wanting to be accused of minor shipping, they started adding the platonic tone indicator to most of their drawings— basically a way of saying “no homo”. meanwhile, tubbo frequently on stream flirts with ranboo and makes quite a bit of nsfw comments towards him that are frankly hilarious.

this goes on for a while with nobody really sure what’s canon, but a lot of people assuming it’s probably platonic, until: the drama of the mods night. a few mods dmed all the wiki editors telling them ranboo wanted his canon character relationship officially set to platonic.

unfortunately for those mods; the very same day, a few hours later, ranboo on stream makes fun of puffy delivering him and tubbo “friendship flowers”. because, and i quote, “bruh. we’re literally married. this must be how the ancient greeks felt.”

in case you don’t know, the internet often jokes about how historians will call ancient greeks ‘very good friends’ when they are quite obviously gay. so in this context, ranboo is joking that people will call him and c!tubbo, who are married, “close friends”, when he doesn’t think they are.

basically, ranboo canonized romantic bee duo, the very same day the mods told everyone he’d wanted a platonic one.

chaos and drama immediately erupted everywhere. on tumblr, we were talking about how weird it was of his mods to do something like that without asking him first. we ALSO talked about how weird it was of them to assume that ranboo can’t make his own decisions, or assume teenagers cannot be in relationships without it being sexual. twitter did the same thing but in the opposite direction: called ranboo mods homophobic, or said they were mad ranboo felt pressured into making a romantic relationship canon ‘just so people could have mlm rep.’

i dont want to go into detail about the drama that happened that night because apparently official people follow me and i dont want to stir it up or have them come “clarify” things. im just saying what we talked about.

ranboo in typical ranboo fashion apologized quickly and seriously. he was deeply sorry for possibly offending anyone with how he’d portrayed his rp relationship with tubbo, and he also assured everyone the mod thing was just a miscommunication.

he said he would talk to tubbo and they’d decide once and for all whether it was platonic or romantic, and then announce so everyone would know.

it’s now been a few months and we've had no word from them on that development. we still have no clue.

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now, here’s my opinion:

i want to take ranboos word for it that it was a miscommunication with his mods, but... we had it on good authority from people on the wiki team and people in the discord with the mods that (while it was happening) they were really going after the wiki admins, and also made some weird comments about it. that combined with the way ranboo seemingly had no clue (considering he canonized their romance that very same day).... it’s very. sus of the mods.

then there’s the canon we’ve got since then. although occasionally adults in the room have called it a “platonic marriage” and tubbo once (back when it first started) called it a “plankton tectonic” marriage, in roleplay it’s been... kind of not that. tubbo and ranboo make nsfw jokes about each other in character, and their characters also share a master bedroom and bed in the mansion. there's also the way c!tommy really thinks it’s a romance between them as well, and they agree with and play off that— for instance confirming that they “fell in love” when he asked, or ranboo confirming that they “make out on occasion”.

people will still put platonic on their art and posts, imo, because they’re worried about breaking ranboo and tubbo’s irl boundaries by looking like they ship them. or even just being accused of shipping real life minors. and that’s a valid fear to have.

the thing is though: c!bee duo are not cc!bee duo. they’re roleplay characters. cc!bee duo are not okay with being shipped, but they made their characters get canonically married, and call each other “husbands”. so it’s okay to write the word “husband” in your comic without adding “platonic” to it, i promise.

telling the ccs that their characters have to be platonic is... weird. it comes off as not only babying them, but also as saying teens can’t date without it being gross. which isn’t true.

(this is why seeing people overuse “platonic husband” so much bothers me. like, they ARE husbands. you can just say it. what are you trying to hide...?)

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do i think they’re canonically romantic? ehh, its likely. it’s still okay to interpret them as platonic, because again, it’s hard to tell where jokes end and roleplay begins. like, maybe it’s jokes in the rp too, and c!bee duo are just friends. friends can and should be allowed to make jokes like that with each other! aro & ace marriages exist!

or, maybe it’s actually part of the rp, and they’re very much romantic. we don’t know!

some people say they could be a qpr (queerplatonic romance), which i could see. (a qpr is a relationship that fluctuates between, or can’t quite be sorted into, “romantic” and “platonic”. people in a qpr can do romantic things while having platonic feelings for each other). in my opinion this is a very valid interpretation as well!

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CONCLUSION (sorry this got so long omfg):

are c!bee duo romantic?

its likely, but you can still interpret them however you like!

should i put /p on bee duo content?

ehhh? i find it annoying when it’s overused (as do others), but if you’re worried you can. its up to preference. putting it too much is weird though

should i put /p on things cc! bee duo do?

no. you’re not the one saying it so you can’t decide the tone tags for that. imagine you said something to your friend and a random stranger came up and was like “haha but that was /p right...?”

can i ship c!bee duo?

mmm. i’m not sure on this one. they are canonically married and very flirtatious, but the ccs don’t like being shipped and they’re close enough to being the ccs that actively shipping might be against boundaries.

can i treat c!bee duo as romantic?

yes. literally just don’t be weird about it. it’s not that hard! you can understand that two characters are husbands without making it weird

here’s the most important thing: boundaries. cc bee duo still haven’t told us what their preferences and canon is about this whole thing.

right now, i am assuming based on what they already show us they’re comfortable with, but! the second they give us any more info! all these opinions will change!

i am only going off what they do. i would never want to cross boundaries at all. i just wish they would make theirs a little more clear.

..... i hope that helped anon, i went way off the rails... i need to go to sleep.