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koiiiji · 2 months

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author’s note ; im not really into that omegaverse stuff, and don’t know much about it, but dynamics of big lonely wolf seongji yook x mischievous fox reader living in my head for awhile now 👉🏻👈🏻

tw ; fantasy au, omegaverse (?), suggestive +18 content, nsfw, seongji being service dom, MINORS, AGELESS BLOGS DNI, dom/sub dynamics, whatever else i forget to add

❁ seongji found you in the forests on his mountain. you were hissing and sizzling on him, not letting him get closer to you, when seongji just tried to safe your leg from trap, that definitely was set by people of village to catch him - a monster who terrorized their village (only in their honest opinion)

❁ and honestly, he felt terrible for you, you got in trap that was set for him, and was way too big for you - huge, sharp teeth of the trap bit deep into the skin and meat on your ankle, hampering your movements. also, as seongji noticed, you definitely was close to his species, it was obvious because of your big ears, annoyed fluffy tail, small claws and fangs. he never saw any fox hybrids in this area, so you probably was so lonely all this time, just like him… and you were so cute, hissing at him, trying to play it cool. it was obvious that you were scared, this is a natural reaction to a larger predator. each time seongji tried to get closer to you, you pressed your cute red ears to your head, your fluffy tail started twitching in annoyance! and yet, you were so… small, seongji just knew you didn’t had enough food last few months…

❁ when he finally got you out of the trap - you just passed out when his huge palm tried to cover your eyes, that’s how exhausted and hungry you were - so he brought you to his cave.

❁ days passed as you warmed up to him, opened up to him, became more natural around him, your true self came out - you truly were live proof of why fox hybrids deserve their name of weasels and dodgers. you always clinging to him with your cocky little jokes, having no concept of what personal space is in your pretty little head, your small fangs lightly biting his cheeks or ears, or even his biceps when seongji tries to stop your little games, holding your annoying loud head between the elbow bend and biceps, just to finally had his afternoon nap after another successful hunt.

❁ even though he was enthusiastic when he found you, seongji really wanted to help, and he actually saved you. but when you refused to leave his cave - not like he kicked you out, despite his perpetually grumbling, he liked that you were sneaking around his house here and there - sometimes he was wondering for what sins did you fall on his head… but generally he is happy that he have a company now, at least it’s not so lonely anymore on his mountain.

❁ and everything was wonderful until… your little game with him didn’t start… to feel different. seongji could say that something in him changed too. now you became more clingy and generally more close to him, always nuzzling your cheek under his chin, right above his adam's apple, where was his sensitive spot. each time you pass by him and your tail not so accidentally touched his nose or neck he was rolling his eyes in in ecstasy, immediately turning his head in your direction and sniffing at the strip of sweet smell that was trailing behind you, giving out only a low, rumbling, quiet growl somewhere inside his throat. another problem was that you were very hot. no, not in the sense that seongji thought you were sexy, (that's exactly what he thought), but literally. it was very pleasant to touch you, you were so warm, even hot, and the blood raging in your body gave your cheeks such a sweet blush. it was cute. and he couldn’t help himself really, it was hard, each time leaving his house for hunt, only to get in another fight with any other male that showed up on his territory, or getting a little bit carried away and bringing home more food then needed. Seongji didn't understand why he had become so worked up. now all he can think about is to fight, and somehow his usual instincts were deep down now they’re came back, more feral, wild, bestial. he could sense your presence, your warmth kilometers away, he could sense you.

❁ on the other hand Seongji noticed changes in you as well. yes, you were clingy before, but now it doubled and seemed that you became more vocal… always mumbling, almost purring each time you managed to touch him. and oh, how sensitive you became. each time you start your games again, seongji needed 3 minutes before you whimper from his teeth on your ear, because in your opinion he bit your ear too hard, when in fact he didn’t even put any force on it. Seongji would rather sink through the ground than admit that in fact he likes your games, and what an offended grimace you make when you try to take offense at him, but always coming back.

❁ one day, after another hunt, Seongji returned home, only to be greeted by silence and it was unusual, because you always met him with open arms. making his way deeper into his house, he called you a couple of times, but when he didn't get an answer, he started to worry. he always wondered if other hybrids could sense you miles away as he did? what if his guesses were true, and someone else felt your scent? what if- he had no opportunity to finish his thought when someone abruptly knocked him down and knocked him to the floor. Seongji was caught off guard and now his opponent had an advantage over him from above. just second after, your scent hit his nose, and your hot breath burned his neck, until he felt your body almost on fire.

❁ you looked down at him, pinning him to the floor with your hands on his broad chest and shifting your hips on his abdomen. your cloudy gaze didn’t leave his face, your cheeks were flushed, and tears almost came to your eyes when you whined on top of him "Seongji…. please help me...it's... it's so hot there.... and it hurts…" to say that Seongji was shocked and confused at the same time was to say nothing. he was bursting with overflowing feelings and thoughts. he lived most of his life completely alone, and had no idea what partner actually means. and as he got older, he didn't have a chance to get close to anyone, but he would be lying if he said he hadn't touched himself. just like he’d be lying if he said he’d never fantasized about the two of you. when you moved into the house, he had some sweet thoughts, but Seongji always blushed and waved them away, convincing himself that you were just friends.

❁ and after each thought how he would bend you over nearest surface and pull your tail up after you annoyed him a little too much, he convinced himself that you were just friends. after each wet dream, when he woke up in the middle of the night because of the too realistic images in dreams, where the two of you are gently clinging and nuzzling to each other, the bodies move in unison, and you literally drown in each other, when you reach your peaks, he still convinced himself that you were just friends and he shouldn’t think about you like that.

❁ but when both of you started to change in your behavior, Seongji couldn't stop himself. every day his head was full of sinful thoughts, and your behavior didn't help in any way. and that's what your general silence led to - whining, you pinned him to the floor, desperately fidgeting and looking for more friction, in an attempt to calm the heat below. gently intercepting your hands, Seongji looked into your eyes a little tensely, as if asking if he could sit down. at the same time, he raised himself on his elbows, and sat down uncertainly, now holding you on his lap, slowly releasing your hands. his tail wagged a little and his ears flattened against his head as he bent lower, slowly touching your lips, exploring and tasting you. you deepened the kiss in your impatience, and knocked him to the ground again, biting his lips with your little fangs and digging your claws into his shoulders. in response, he let out a low throaty growl, making you guiltily put your ears to your head and apologetically look into his eyes. sitting down again, he pressed you closer so that you could feel his stone boner through your clothes, and without giving you a chance to squirm and enjoy the friction, Seongji grabbed you by the hips, carrying you to his room.

❁ later that evening he discovered how much your lower back can arch when his hands are on your sides and he's hammering into you from behind. Seongji found out what a sweet voice you can have when he fucked you standing up, so you had to rise on your toes, so he could hit into that sensitive spot inside you. that night, he also zeroed in that your soft, hot walls squeeze him harder if his big palm presses on your tummy, just below the navel. Seongji also liked the feeling when he folded you almost in half, when he held both your legs on his shoulders, denting you into the mattress. but most of all, he remembers the moment when your throbbing walls squeezed him for the last time, when you both lay on your side, hugging each other, and then he could swear that in the dark of the night he could see the little hearts in the depths of your eyes when he came after you, filling you deeply and abundantly, so you almost drooled.

#[ ~ koi.talks🗣]#lookism #lookism manhwa #lookism webtoon #lookism x reader #seongji yuk #seongji yook #seongji yuk x reader #seongji yook x reader #lookism seongji yook #x reader #smut #lookism smut #omegaverse #fantasy au

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a66-1 · 4 months

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starving

part 1 | part 2 [you're here!]

Simon x Fem!Insecure!Reader.

finally got the idea for part 2. excited?

me too

TW: Talk of ed's, negative self talk, low self esteem, bad mouthing (from reader to herself, comes with the territory) cursing, self harm. i tried not to be too descriptive with the reader, so EVERY insecure girlie who reads this feels seen.

semi proofread bc who cares

The next morning was exhausting as the last.

You got up early to go running. If you ever have the chance, you run until the sun comes up. You need to stay fit if you want a boyfriend. It was easier when you were on your meds. Almost like you had the will to live those mornings.

You were back at the house around 8 am. You weren't scheduled for work today so... You headed back to bed and really, just slept the day away

You woke up around 5 pm. 5, really? God, you are just some depressed child.

You got out of bed for the second time, and changed into a dress. It was hard seeing yourself in a dress after 2 years. You stopped going out because alcoholism and anti-depressants aren't really two peas in a pod, are they?

Well this is why you quit. You dropped your therapist and your meds because you were better, and your mom stopped helping with the payments, and now you can go back to partying.

Minus the heavy drinking.

Hopefully.

You tear your eyes off yourself. If you stare too long, you'll end up convincing yourself to stay in bed longer. You configure the rest of your outfit, and grab a small black purse. Throwing your phone in it, you leave the house quicky. If you don't, you might properly convince yourself you're just as ugly as you thought..

The drive to the bar was silent, save from the honking cars around you. Fuck, what if this is the wrong idea? I mean the looks everyone will give you, you look so bad and so ugly and god this was such a bad--

You hear a car honk behind you. The light turned green. You lower your head, sighing, and taking a left.

Once at the bar, you slip into one of the seats nearer the back, feeling uncomfortable in the seat. Adjusting your dress down, you cringe while looking around the bar. There's so many pretty women here, and comparatively you are way under them.

You order a drink, sipping on the alcohol for the first time in months. Fuck, your therapist would be losing it if she knew you not only stopped meds but started drinking again...

You rested your head in your palm, watching others interact. Pretty women just have a way with men, a way you've never had. The buzz of the alcohol was enough to make you not question why nobody has interacted with you, other than the bartender. People probably think your such a loser, I mean, who would just sit here and drink--

"Hey. You're, uh.. That girl from yesterday right?" A gruff voice appears behind you. You flinch forward, whipping your head around.

Oh. This guy.

You slowly put your drink down, your palm over the top of it.

"And who are you?" You ask, eyeing the man. He didn't have his mask on. He was... Really cute.

"A customer." He sat next to me, his eyes trained on mine. I felt sort of flushed under his gaze.

Fuckin' small world.

You spent some of the night talking with him. Still don't know his name, or why you ran into him here, but you don't care nonetheless.

You were looking for sex this night but... Is a connection so bad?

Like you could make a connection with someone who is out of your league.

thank god i finished this. 3 drafts later, and im sorry its kinda short. trust part 3 is gonna have the good stuff, this is kinda a filler so it can get to the good stuff.

ily babes...

-a661

taglist:

@i-am-hungry-24-7 @arminarlertssword @haven-1307

#simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost x you #simon fluff #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon ghost fluff

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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

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OKAY OKAY SAGAU BUT THE CREATOR IS A HUGE KPOP FAN LIKE IMAGINE THE MOST STOTIC CHARACTERS DANCING TO TWICE

ANON I HAVE SEEN UR ASK SITTIN IN MY MAILBOX AND BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE-

GOD IM SO BASIC ANON I ONLY KNOW LIKE 2 SONGS BY TWICE (LIKE "FEELS" OR SMTH POPULAR), I KNOW A LITTLE MORE ITZY, BUT MY MAIN'S JUST BEEN BTS SINCE 2019😭

(send me recs pleassseeee ;-;)

Hey this'll be the last time I use colored words for characters!

I think it's a bit too distracting, and the only reason I was using them was to let ppl know if their fav was in there, but now I'll probably just use CW/TW to mention character heavy asks/fics :)

Thanks for being patient with me for so long if ur still reading my stuff :0 <3

Listen as you read?

EDIT 1/1/24: Hey I expanded more about this on my Eldritch Fanfic Part 2 post, but unfortunately I did a form of exoticism by including the term "Huangdi" inappropiately here. I have since replaced it with "Emperor" as was the original untranslated term I would've used. I'm genuinely sorry that I did this, and will absolutely be on the look out/do better in the future. I hope you can understand.

----

AGONIZED OVER THE GIFS THIS TIME THEYRE SO PRETTY AND I WANTED TO GET THEM DANCING ONE OF THEIR CUTER ERA/THEMES ALL DRESSED UP TOO-

also im so sorry?? Idky i was in such a scenario mood today??? Ig im in my exectutive dysfunction paralysis state so maybe that’s why, like it unconcoiusly wants me to waste more time not catching up on uni work??? anyway, hope u like this chaotic addon 😭

or i just love this ask sm, that’s entirely possible too <3

I JUST NEED YOU TO KNOW I PUT ON A MEGA TWICE PLAYIST WHILE WRITING THIS ENTIRE THING LMAO

ok but they’d totally heard ur music tastes thru the screen right?

like just imagine-

the video game music is normalized, and to them its just another one of those “all kinds of magic in teyvat” causing the music, like the seelies wandering around all the time or elemental energy

Jean is flipping through a folder filled with the reports for the week, she’s got to get the routes ready for the week, then there’s the liyue shipments the knights need to help escort over, then checking in on any of the emergency stations/rations throughout Mondstadt for weary or hurt travelers/merchants-

She sighs, and yet another irritated thought is thrown Varka’s way in her mind, she can’t even muster the energy to make it outright dislike she’s so tired…

Jean was so concentrated she just now is starting to hear the Favonious Headquarter’s music once more, it’s peppy upbeat tune… grates like nails on a chalkboard.

and if she has to hear that damn flute for the next hour she works, she’s going to start banging her head onto her desk.

♤

Out in Jueyun Karst, Xiao is dealing the finishing blow to a flying ruin hunter

He’s huffing and stabs his spear into the ground to lean on and catch his breath, the gentle music of the peaks begins to float around him once more

The Yaksha feels the earth beneath his feet shake. Not like from his Lord, not the other adepti angered, but an enemy so large it’s stomps shake the ground he stands on

Xiao quickly straightens less he fall over, pulling his spear out of the dirt with a little more effort than it probably should’ve taken…

The high sounds of the guzheng trickle through the air, a perfect representation of the base of the slopes, trees, streams, and nature all around him

Xiao turns to face the enemy behind him, his arm popping with tired joints,

…A ruin grader, two ruin hunters, and finally regular three ruin guards, follows it. they come around the corner of the bottom of another slope, and they're still simmering with black smoke, curling off their metallic shoulders.

Xiao sees several red targets layer over his chest,

the music fades a little, but sticks around, plucking strings gently. Xiao sighs, exhausted already.

♧

Kazuha and Beidou had to redirect the Alcor from a nasty storm at sea that intercepted their usual route between Inazuma and Liyue,

the storm had practically chased them further and further down form the Inazuman islands

it wasn’t until Kazuha, from the crow’s nest, spotted fog on the waters that they realized they’d be forced to go into said creepy fog, what with the crackling looming clouds at their backs pinning them in

“Not good Captain, the fog is miles long, I’m not sure I can see a way around it…” Kazuha calls down to the deck, Beidou letting out a sharp sigh through her nose

“Damn… fucker’s not even sentient and it practically backed us into a corner, feels like we literally gotta escape the damn thing… BRACE YOURSELVES CREW, WE’RE HEADING INTO THAT FOG!”

The Alcor makes it’s way into the fog, a piano swells with a strange tune…

Beidou, Kazuha, and the crew know to listen to the music of teyvat, especially if you have a life at sea, where storms can appear in the middle of the day or other pirates could attack any moment.

The music means nothing good, but at least Kazuha can see the storm staying at the border of the fog, moving no further in, unlike themselves

“Shit… see anything up there Kazu?” the Captain steering the ship doesn’t even reach a shout, for the music has creeped out all conversation on board

“No ma’am, wait,” a chill breeze brushes through the wanderer’s white hair, he feels goosebumps jump on his neck and spine,

“…Yes! Portside Captain, land, no enemy movement yet!”

“Alright, here goes a bad idea…” Beidou’s arms flex as she easily turns the heavy wooden wheel, steering left,

the Alcor gently comes ashore, and they make anchor.

…there are no enemies, like Kazuha said, but the tune worsens, it had gotten louder now that they’re actually on the theme’s land

It plays slowly, encasing the crew of the Alcor in a paranoid quiet, and it almost has a melancholy note

Crows caw and fly off of a stone gate up ahead, they can see flickers of a strange blue light further inland, like figures carrying lanterns everywhere they go…

“Damn music, I wouldn’t feel half this anxious if it didn’t sound like we were walking into a monster infested cave…” the first mate says, the first person to break the quiet the music held over them.

“Yes, while we might need to stay here for awhile, I think we’re all very aware how dangerous this is…” Kazuha agrees, crossing his arms and squinting at the moving blue lights… the piano plays on.

☆

You open on Spotify on your computer, clicking on your favorite kpop playlist, it’s been rainy all day, so you need the peppiness of this dance playlist to actually not be half-asleep playing Genshin-

You hum along to the Korean lyrics as you boot Genshin up, ugh, ur in-game music is so loud, u forgot u turned it up last time to hear the new Sumeru music…

Turning it down, you let the Kpop songs fill ur headphones as you nod to the beat, your team materializing on screen. Right, off to do commissions first!

♤

Jean is like.. seconds away letting out a scream of frustration, anger, tiredness, loneliness, etc. her hands clenching her hair and ruining her ponytail when, thank Creator, the theme quiets down finally.

The loss of her immediate ire gone, she lets go of her hair, her hands just kind of hovering midair, not knowing what to do with herself, all the negative emotions giving her face wrinkles just melt off, leaving her stunned, blank face behind

🎶 Dalkomhan chocolate ice-cream-cheoreom Nogabeorineun jigeum nae gibun so lovely! Kkamkkamhan uju sok gajang banjjagineun Jeo byeol jeo byeol geu yeope keun ne byeol 🎶

Acting Grand Master Jean actually screams when abruptly a song in an unrecognizable foreign language, blasts into her office, around it, filling the entire Favonius Headquarters with its… cheeriness??

Jean lets her hands fall onto the desk, still in shock

..well, she quickly decides she’s grateful for the new music either Barbatos or the All-Parent had heard her pleas for…

…actually, it’s kind of,, catchy?

Jean takes out her ponytail, massaging her aching scalp, huh, she really did have it tight she’s just now noticing, she feels a small smiles appear on her face,

she actually kind of wants to do something now (she kind of hopes this new foreign bard song sticks around..)

♧

If you asked Xiao what happened in that battle he’d be hard pressed to tell you,

without going completely red in the face. LMAO

He probably wouldn’t tell the other adepti this, especially Cloud Retainer, but Xiao had definitely had to get used to fighting brutal battles to the sound of gentle summer day-esque music

Right as the aruguably, army of ruin machines spotted the Yaksha, he’d launched himself into the air to try and evade the rusted beasts, aiming his jade spear, adding winds to swirl around the staff to better boost his attack, the machines warm up, their targets moved and locked onto him midair, right as both sides launch their attack-

🎶 Geogi neo I fancy you! Amuna wonhaji anha Hey, I love you (Love ya!) 🎶

Xiao nearly falls out of the air.

Quickly recovering, he uses his anemo power to propel himself off to the side dodging, he swears to his Lord and his Emperor himself, delayed attacks, as if the machines were caught off guard too,

missiles whiz by him, exploding behind, the peppy song of foreign women’s voices sings out into Jueyun Karst bright and happy-

🎶 Geurae neo I fancy you! Kkumcheoreom haengbokhaedo dwae 'Cause I need you! (What?) 🎶

Xiao’s face goes from being confused to concentrated throughout the rest of the battle, and the worst part… it actually helps his energy levels.

and he finds himself nodding along

☆

Kazuha takes the lead, his sword unsheathed and at the ready to cut down the slightest movement before it can get to any of the crew behind him,

He’s flanked by the Captain of the Alcor herself, Beidou’s electro shield emitting a deep hum as it blocks in front of both himself, and the crew behind him

all of the pirates have unsheather their own weapons, daggers, swords, claymores, bows, their all on high alert, waiting for.. well, any enemies at all.

In fact, Kazuha hopes he sees hilichurls soon, just for the familiarity it could give him and the his crew-

the music begins to fade away.

The crew stops just shy of the entryway that was perched with crows before they scattered, the white fog hasn’t moved beyond its lazy drifting, but the creeping sounds have stopped entirely. Not good.

Captain Beidou sighs after a few silent moments, other than the quiet breathing and shuffling of weapons from the Alcor crew.

She lets her claymore sword thunk against her shoulder, and just as she opens her mouth, turning to address the all, deciding camping here will have to do for the night-

🎶Fancy! youu, ooh Nuga meonjeo johahamyeon eottae Fancy! youu, ooh Jigeum neoegero gallae Fancy! ooh!🎶

Kazuha’s shoulder shoot up to his ears in a flinch, red eyes wide, he barely stops his reflexes from taking a hard swing with his sword, several crewmembers shriek, collide with metal clinks into one another, Beidou drops low, her sword swinging off her shoulder into almost a full swing at the ground-

…

…..

……..

🎶 Dalkomhan chocolate ice-cream-cheoreom Nogabeorineun jigeum nae gibun so lovely! Kkamkkamhan uju sok gajang banjjagineun Jeo byeol jeo byeol geu yeope keun ne byeol 🎶

the music plays on, the only one making any noise as the entire Alcor crew just, stop. after their initial shock.

Kazuha’s the first to break.

He desperately tries to contain a quiet chuckle, which turns into a giggle, which turns into a full-on wheeze, as he buries his sword into the ground to brace himself on it and one of his knees

the Captain cracks by the time Kazuha wheezes, her laughter going straight to guffaws and knee slapping, her claymore shaking the ground where she stabs it to lean against

the crew erupts into laughter, both as the peppy foreign song echoes into the mysterious fog, and Beidou’s ridiculous laugh, as always

they don’t recover until two songs later when there’s finally a slow kpop song, Kazuha’s had to sit down, tears streaming down his face, Beidou’s half-dead, wheezing out complaints about her stomach, as the crew keep sending each other into more and more laughter right as they think they’re done.

They decide their Akitsu Mikami must have the best sense of humor and must just be sitting on their celestial throne pranking some of their subjects from time to time, and the Alcor crew find themselves all the more appreciative for it, their nerves entirely gone about the island

Kazuha and Beidou are constantly asking other bards they meet to try and see if anyone can recreate the song for the crew sometime they liked the beat and the memory so much, Fancy by Twice will still get a laugh out of Beidou and Kazuha, and they’d quickly let you in on the inside joke so you’d be a part of it too (afterall you did it lol)

♡

NOW MORE IMPORTANTLY, BC IDK IVE BEEN ON A SCENARIO KICK LATELY?? SORRY IDK WHY U GUYS KEEP GETTING SCENARIOS-

There’s only TWO 2 CATEGORIES THAT MATTER HERE-

◇

Who’s DANCING!! w/o u needing to do anything but play the music:

NILOU (she got those choreos done in like, an hour flat everytime u teach her, shes always begging for “just one more dance lesson Greatest Lord? 🥺”),

YUNJIN (difference betweeen the two dancers is that nilou asks :) → yunjin lowkey demands, she like always gets u into a situation where you have plenty of time to teach her and feel obligated, u just got gaslight gatekeep girlbossed into teaching her another kpop dance LMAO), they also see it as they’re (literally) god-given job to dance better than any idol you’ve seen do it before, esp when they recruit groups of other dancers to join for group choreos

Yoimiya! cutie #1, CHILDE, amber, eula, ITTO, bennett,

Collei (but shes shy u gotta encourage her),

Diona (cutie #2),

FISCHL (would form an actual group to dance all the choreos like a real kpop group),

Gorou (shy #2, needs encouragement),

Kazuha (tbh I think he’d have fun and be weirdly good at it, fem or masc dances),

Ayaka (shy #3, needs encouragement and would rather die than dance in front of ppl other than you),

KLEE CUTIE #3, NAHIDA CUTIE #4,

Qiqi (but u gotta teach her slow bc she needs to memorize it, and also it takes her a bit to write down the dance steps in her journal so she doesn’t forget as much),

Razor (another person i think would just have fun with it! also he’d do it but it would be very, aggressive? like making finger hearts but violently shoving his arm out at ur face lmao),

HEIZOU (shutup he’d actually be good at it and brag- and flirt at you-),

Aether (shy #4), VENTI, xingqiu, xinyan, KAVEH

BARBARA (she literally stalks u around Mondstadt all like “oh hello your highness! just happened to walk by you and was wondering if you heard any new of those “kpop” dances, you know I’d LOVE to show it off at my next show-!” like she hasnt been a block behind you the entire day 💀)

♡

WHO YOU MANAGED TO CONVINCE TO DANCE LMAO-

babygirl Wanderer (he literally surveyed the area before he finally let u teach him any moves, and refused to any sort of dramatic moves, like fem or masc),

Alhaitham (but only like a small part of a guy group choreo like a bit from God’s Menu or smth, he was too lazy to do anymore even for u lol),

Cyno (dammit some of these bitches look way too good doing even girl group dances-),

Diluc (u got him to do like, a pose. LMAO and he saw Kaeya in the distance and quit immediately LMFAO),

Kaeya (but it didnt take much convincing, if anything it just took forever to teach him, he’s talented in footwork for swordfighting but apparantly not dancing, at least not modern dances he tripped so much ur convinced he did it on purpose at one point so he’d fall into your arms again lol),

Ganyu (super shy, wont do it around anyone but you, and maybe Shenhe),

speaking of Shenhe (she just took awhile to teach bc she wanted to stay upright a lot, kinda stiff),

Keqing (once again, another who’d only dance when it’s just u two lol),

Yae Miko (she just wanted to learn the whole choreo that’s what took so long… and now she’s making comments like “My goodness, my god wants me to dance for them? They’ll even show me how? Oh, now I must do it perfectly so I can satisfy you, my Kami.” STOP TAKING THINGS OUT OF CONTEXT UR TEACHING EVERYONE-),

Ayato (he’s acts so theater gay he refuses to do anything but the girl group dances/fem dances lol),

SARA (easy, give her ur strongest, saddest pout and she cracked like glass, u got her to do a whole dance with u/she actually got into it too, its her secret guilty pleasure now lol),

Kuki (did one sort of move then got BARRELED OVER by Itto’s crazied boy group acrobatics he likes so much, u know the backflips over each other type of ones? yeah. ),

Ei (the god herself/not the puppet, catch her never doing that lol, she tried but didnt, get it? she’s also pretty stiff, but she looks like she’s having fun so u just keep teaching her moves, and she likes that its you teaching her something new),

Thoma (shy #5 ? idek what number we’re on anymore lol),

TIGHNARI (u nag that bitch so hard he nearly throws a drink at you to get u to stop bothering him- NO he does NOT think those dances would suit his ears- dammit he wont do that dance, no matter how much he likes you- DAMMIT MY LORD-),

Xiao (if u thought nagging Tighnari was hard, this is like nightmare mode, not only does he not wanna do the dances, but he also wants to understand WHY u want him to dance each and every move- !! bc he would “look cute or cool”?!?!!?!!! …yeah he’s gone, he went so red u cant even get him back with tofu),

Zhongli (would like, be so confused on how to make his body do that, that he ended up just sort of posing, at least he looks cool)

♡

(anyone not on these 2, u did, in fact, not manage to convince, yes, even if their god asked them to, nor are they doing it of their own volition lol)

WHAT THE HELLLLLLL-

THIS IS SO LONGGG IM SO SORRRYYYYY

ANYWAY HOPE SOMEBODY LIKED THIS, DW ILL STOP THE WEIRD SCENARIOS AFTER THIS ASK I JUST GOT IN A PHASE I DONT KNOW WHY

also, im like, three weeks away form graduating uni? NICE, soon i will be free to assault u all with responses mwhahahaha (rubs my little gremlin hands together)

Safe travels,

💀 ♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk

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mrsnancywheeler · 8 months

Note

IM SO SORRY THIS ONE IS LONG ILL LEAVE YOU ALONE SOON YOU JUST GIVE ME BRAIN WORMS

I’m back on my Finnick silliness

Finnick who sits by his sweet girl (yes. She was his sweet girl again) while she lays unconscious after her games. The overwhelming feeling of guilt, relief, exhaustion, and mourning.

Relief because his sweet girl (yes his sweet girl, she was finally his sweet girl again) was alive and breathing in front of him. Relief because after 2 years, 2 years that felt like a lifetime, Finnick was finally able to hold his sweet girl again. He was able to hold her hand, kiss her face, give her the adoration and delicacy she deserved.

Exhaustion because seeing her in the arena was probably the most emotionally draining things he’s had to go through. The fear of her getting hurt, or worse, dying ate away at him. The jealousy and silent rage he felt watching her kiss and hold Conway. The fear and anxiety he felt when he realized Conway would kill you. He didn’t sleep a wink, every moment he could he was looking at her. He was getting her sponsors (watching her get hypothermia was probably the worst thing he’s been through, and that’s saying something)

Mourning because he mourns the person she was. He knows she won’t be the same. He knows the fear, anxiety, the depression, the guilt, everything that comes out of the games. He mourned the carefree girl he loved, but that didn’t matter, he needed to be there for his sweet girl.

Yet as she lied there there must have been a subtle anger he began to feel because imagine if he began to hear talks about his sweet girls desirability. How people would have loved to spend just a night with her, or perhaps both him and her if they had the chance.

He probably realized he would be able to hold her once more but soon he wouldn’t be the only one. And that? That is probably what truly broke his heart.

Okay…bye

I MEAN IT WITH MY FULL CHEST WHEN I SAY YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE ME ALONE BC I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THIS STUFF SM LIKE I'M SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU POOKIE

tw trafficking, violence, death

so at the beginning of midnight rain finnick was so prickly and like multiple times reader mentions that he's trying to be too much like a mentor, he's comforting her but it's not the same until after he tells her about what snow does to so-called "desirable" victors because that's him breaking down his walls

and I'm just thinking about what a tumultuous time that was for their relationship because they're so young and have both been through so much trauma and he has his sweet girl back but at what cost

and he feels so responsible that any of this happened to you, so he has to do his best now to mentor you for the press after and the eventual victors tour. he gets to hold you, to kiss you, to be with you, but he has to make sure you know the importance of keeping up performances. so their's a lull where you feel different because of what's happened that compounded with how you feel like he's different too, he's keeping things from you, and is still guarded

like there's 6 years between reader winning her games and the version we see in the lakes and the river, so much more healing and bonding, so much love strengthened. so the finnick who tries to be there for reader after her games and is scared to tell her about her fate learns so much to become the finnick trying to bring reader back in the lakes.

but yes finnick would've been exhausted during your games, he can't eat if you're starving or ill or hurt, or if you're trying to convince conway you love him. he can't sleep when you could die at any time. this man would go through lengths to make sure you had the best sponsors, it didn't matter how many more customers he had to take it it meant you would survive. and then your fate was nearly out of his control when the hypothermia hit. something people can die so quickly of and he feels like he'd truly snap if that happened, he spends every sponsor dollar to get you that blanket, and is so grateful that marlowe knows how to take care of you. because you're his sweet girl, freezing and shivering in the rain. then there's the trauma reader has related too the cold and rain after that, he's so grateful he's always warm because he can end your chills with his touch. but it takes you so long to leave the house in the rain even when warm and you still hate it.

and yes, you've changed so much. there's less impulsivity, less dreams of a life out of your grasp, maybe because you have it now, but you also have no hope for anything but misery. you're more forelorn, there's less walls you put up, you just cry, but you still worry more about him then you to yourself which crushes him. his poor sweet girl, so traumatized, so cold all the time, and so utterly distracted by wanting to help him instead

oh my god, when finnick was doing whatever he could to get you sponsors I can imagine all the people that invested because they saw your interview and wanted you. all the people who'd say, "well if I sponsor her, I'd definitely get my money's worth." with a chuckle to their friends, so disgusting, who laughed back

"those tears would be even prettier in person"

"I would love to see what else they mouth could do"

and finnick's blood is boiling, but he needs the money so his sweet girl can live. he feels so guilty for it when you're with him though, it's one of the reasons he doesn't tell you about it for so long. you'll be safe as long as he keeps you out of reality, which he can't do forever.

and yes people definitely want both you and finnick at some point, I mean the beloved couple from district 4 people can't get enough from and he doesn't know if it's better or worse that way. because then you have to watch each other take the rougher treatment but he can also be there for each other.

especially early on he can clean you up, put you back together if you're both wanted, before the tragedy that it's commonplace hits and you learn to take care of yourself because so often you're alone.

he hates that other people want you that way, that other people will see you that way because he knows that if neither of you were forced to be in a place like this you'd just want each other and just have each other so completely. but his sweet girl is being forced to perform and sold to the highest bitter which will always make him sick and angry. because he just wants to love his sweet girl.

sorry this is kind of all over the place lmao

#wanda 💋#finnick odair x reader #finnick odair #finnick odair x y/n #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair angst #finnick odair x reader fluff #finnick odair x you #finnick odair x reader angst #the lakes #the river

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witchykittyy · 8 months

Text

Agreement 💖

@marcyyywukinnie asked: Hi could you make a fanfic Yandare Blitzo x reader x Yandare Stolas where they just fight about reader, before coming to terms that theyll share them??

I am soooooooo sorry about how late this is!!! I really am. Life's been really hectic and I went through a very depressive episode but I promise to be on top of stuff more often! I really hope you like it! ❤ Sorry if its not really enough fighting per say. 😅

TW: Demons, Hell, Blood, Arguing, Cursing (lots of it), Mentions of kidnapping, Stalking, and other yandere themes.

"Damn that was a fuck ton of clients!!!" Millie jumped up into Moxxie's arms pumped and covered in blood. "Yea it was and it was so fucking awesome! But I think imma head in for the night." You're the newest member of I.M.P. A few days ago you saw their help wanted poster and decided you needed the extra money so you decided to join. You got along really well with Moxxie, Millie and surprisingly Loona. The only person who doesn't seem to like you is Blitzo. He was always staring at you. Watching your every move like he's waiting for you to do something wrong. So you always tend to keep your distance.

"Yea I think me and Millie have had enough excitement for today as well. Goodbye sir! Goodbye Y/N!" "Bye Blizto! Bye N/N!" Moxxie and Millie wave goodbye as they leave. "Whatever, bye." Loona continues on reading her magazine. "Bye guys!" You wave goodbye to them sweetly. "Bye lovebirds! Don't get too kinky while I'm away!" You can almost hear Moxxie rolling his eyes at those words and you chuckle. Now its just you, Loona and... Blitzo. Though your back is turned you can feel his eyes burning into info our skin, its very unsettling so with out turning around you decided to say your goodbyes and leave. "Bye Blitzo! Bye Loona!" "Bye dork." Blitzo doesnt say anything and you start to walk off sill feeling his gaze on you. Suddenly he says "See you soon Y/N"

You got home and were extremely exhausted as you flopped down onto your semi comfortable bed. Due to only recently having a job you dont have that much money to buy yourself a nice place so for right now you're stuck in this crummy apartment. Even though you didnt mind your situation someone else did.

Stolas has been watching you from the day he saw you in the I.M.P headquarters while he was visiting Blitzo. He's been obssessed with you ever since he saw you and has stalked you finding out your likes, habits, dislikes and everything else about you. He truly believes that you deserve so much better than what you have. He loves you and believes you deserve to be treated like a queen. A problem with that is that Blizto is also in love with you. Stolas notices the stares he give you and the longing look in his eyes. He's sure Blitzo has noticed his interest as well and thats probably why Blitzo hasnt spoken to him. But nevermind that.

You change into your PJ', get into bed and start scrolling through Helltok. "Ah shit its getting dark and I have to work tomorrow" you sigh. "I guess I should go to bed as Moxxie would say thats the responsible thing to do." You turn off your phone and go to bed. Stolas stares at you from the window wishing that he were next to you.

After a while he sees someone climbing onto your balcony. He's about to go stop him but then the two lock eyes. "Stolas?! The fuck are you doing here?!" He almost tumbles off the balcony from the surprise. "I should be asking you the same question Blitzo." "Look dipshit im doing the same thing you are but going inside." Blizto starts opening the window. "Wait! We shouldnt do that it invading her privacy." He goes to stop him but then Blitzo slaps his hand away. "Oh and stalking her isnt invading her privacy?! Look just leave ok if you dont wanna do this. Not like I want you stealing my girl anyways." He grumbles the last part but Stolas is able to hear him. "Well I sure as hell am not leaving her alone with you." "Then come in with me." He grabs Stolas's hand and stealthly brings him into the room. Stolas blushes at the sudden contact. 'Wait why'd he blush? What the hell is happening to him?'

You're dead asleep on the bed. "So smart ass what do we do now?" He tries to cover up the fact that grabbing Blitzo's hand made him blush. "We look around bird brain." They start looking around the crummy place, dodging the clothes thrown on the floor. Eventually after looking around for a while Blitzo decides to look your computer as Stolas watches you sleep peacefully. Out of the corner of his eye Stolas sees him breaking into your computer. "Hey!" He yells silently. "What do you think you're doing?" "I'm looking through her computer dipshit." Blitzo rolls his eyes as though its obvious. "Well yes I know that but why?" "To make sure she ain't seeing some other loser."

Blitzo searches and suddenly stops dead in his tracks. "You need to see this birdie." They stare at the computer reading you're messages with some guy named Dennis. "Oh hell no" they growl out in unison. You whine and shift in your sleep as they go dead silent. Once they're sure you're not awake they continue. "We can't let this shit happen." Blitzo growls with malice. "I completely agree. This dirt bag isn't good enough for our Y/N." Stolas nods. "Wait, our?" "Well yes I suppose we'll need to team up to stop this guy and ensure that she stays with us. Is that an ok arrangement?" Stolas questions. "Yea.. Thatd be great." Blitzo looks down blushing madly.

#helluva boss #yandere stolas #yandere helluva boss #yandere blitzo #first time writing an actual fanfic #i hope you guys like it

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fishsinsareacknowledged · 3 months

Note

Greetings Traveler! I saw you reblog Moon from Security Breach art and I was wondering if you can maybe do some HCs about em :] Mayhaps some pre SB stuff?

Yeah was in the FNAF fandom back in the days, lord knows it's been far too long for me to remember my old FNAF acc.

Tw: im horny for robots aka him but also I divided it into parts so you can skip it ifyw.

Moon sometimes forgets his hat and gets called a baldie by the kids he has too take care of. Speaking of the kids he loves them sometimes the way a mother would but also sometimes in the way a older brother would.

Like sure he's going to take care of their daily needs and so and so but also that's sun's job. Unironically tells them to ask sun for anything just so he doesn't have to deal with it.

"Moon can I have a water bottle?"

Also moon: sees that his time is almost up, "go ask sun, little one. I am not well equipped enough to be waterproof."

They share the same components and literal body. Excuses excuses. Sun is also not waterproof but moreso than him because his rays block out the revealed spaces of moon's disk face.

Romantically?

Face plants and hugs. Also. Gives you his hat whenever he has to switch with sun for safe keeping. Trusts you with the location of his off switch if you ever need it. Especially since he's heard some of the other animatronics have been glitching out from viruses. They share a revealed communication system so that shouldn't be good.

He's usually touchy with you after the daycares been all cleaned up and he's been wiped down head to toe. Lord knows how dirty those kids are. But that doesn't mean he won't at least give you a quick head boop where he's sure the kids haven't touched whenever you come in. As much as he needs to keep it professional, he won't outright abandon you full on.

Cuddles you after work if you have time to stay or if you're staying over. Makes sure to walk you to the door every time and walk you in if he has the time. Some of the kids would call you Mrs moon :3.

Sexually?

He's a robot babe. Of course he can do it. Fucks you better with his fingers than anyone with a dick ever has. Sure he can't feel anything sexually nor does he ever want to but oh just the sight of you all splayed out and relaxed just for him is a memory he's preserving and making extra copies of in his hard drive.

Have you seen how big this man's fingers are? Yeah. Never pushes in hard enough to make you uncomfortable. Just a wince and he's pulling his punches. Doesn't mean he won't make you scream though. He's still going to try to make you feel great.

He makes sure his whole body is disinfected before and after he does anything with you. Doing intensive research on anything you need of him. Probably doesn't enjoy doing anything that could hurt you unless you explicitly ask for him. Pre virus ofc.

Post virus? Violent but never mean to you. Sure he's a bit rougher, much more careless with his touches now that he's no longer on children duty. Still somewhat gentle with you in the ways that he makes sure to stop at any major red flags. As in. Safewords. And he immediately stops as if he coded himself just for that.

Spends most of his time cuddling your exhausted body rather than actually wandering the franchise because he has cameras now. Also. Human body warm. Also because it's his coping method for the virus that's slowly making him go insane I mean what. :3

#sun and moon fnaf #moon fnaf #moon #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf dca #hcs #moon x reader #sun fnaf #fnaf #fnaf moon #dca #i love #asks

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djarintreble · 2 years

Note

If you’re still taking requests would it be possible to get a Matt Murdock x fem reader (preferably younger than Matt) where she’s going through a bad time and he comforts her? Really struggling with depression and ptsd at the moment

note: awe my love! im sorry that’s no fun to be experiencing. ngl i’ve been struggling myself with depression along with my anxiety. i think we all need a bit of matt murdock comfort. something about this season�� anyways, i hope this helps I do apologize for it being here later than you probably hoped... I hope all is well for you, lovely 💛 tw: sad thoughts and some angst that follows it, mentions of recalling trauma, depression pairing: matt murdock x fem!reader word count: 1.5k

it seemed lately that nights blended into the days so smoothly that you’d have difficulty knowing what time or day it was. the auto pilot response of your current state seemed to let the days go by as you simply existed. the somewhat stable routine allowed you to keep going but it didn’t stop you from wanting to crawl under your covers in bed and not come out for 5-7 business days. it didn't help that your day off seemed to encourage this.

“sweetheart, are you okay?” you heard from above the covers. the city was awake before you were and matt was getting ready for work. he tried to let you sleep, he knew you needed it, but he also wanted to check in with you before he left. foggy can handle the office for a few more minutes alone.

a quiet mumble of words escaped your lips with just enough articulation to let matt comprehend what you said.

you didn’t have to say exactly what it was that was going on in your head. he knew. you knew. there was nothing else to be said.

“i know you would rather keep it to yourself and sleep it off, but you know i’m always here when you’re ready to talk about it right?”

“i know.” it was no use getting into it now when your boyfriend needed to go to work. you appreciated the gesture and you knew he’d listen. you just weren’t ready to admit what it was because then it was real. reliving the moments was too much for you.

matt seemed pleased with your answer as he heard your breathing slow down, telling him your body was pulling you back into hibernation. he brushed against your cheek lightly before he laid your head back into the pillow. it took everything out him not to stay and crawl into bed himself. God knows he needs it just as much as you.

"tell you this... I'll stay here until you fall back asleep. as soon as we handle our last client, I'm leaving. I'll grab your favorite on the way home and I'll take care of you. I won't even go out later, that way we can both get some well deserved rest. I won't let you out of my arms."

"no, you need to go out-" you started, knowing how important it was for him to patrol. as if he read your mind (which you swore he could), he spoke.

"you are equally apart of this city as anyone else. I am taking care of my city by taking care of you. you are the most important person to me. The least I can do is stay in one night."

Before you could argue with him, he pulled the covers back over you and began to rub circles on the part of your back he could reach easily, knowing it would pull you further to sleep. You were fighting your exhaustion but he made it hard to do so with his soft touches. You had no choice but to drift back off, feeling safe to do so.

you were able to sleep through a few more hours before waking up. a dream left you back in the place you were before Matt left for work and now you were pacing the apartment. matt was usually done around four and it was now 4:30. he could be home any minute. you helped pass the time by tidying up the kitchen and reorganizing stuff without it being misleading to your partner who depended on consistency. you felt guilty that the past few days have caused you to feel unmotivated to clean or do anything in fact. Matt understood, you knew that, but part of you still wanted to make up for it. as you were putting up the last dish, you heard the door open and the sound of shoes shuffling against the floor.

"hey, I'm home." he spoke as he put up his gear at the door and walked around to meet you in the kitchen. he set the take out on the counter and, before you could say anything, he wrapped his arms around you and held your head against his chest. he began to purposely take deep slow breaths allowing yours to naturally follow. it was then when you noticed that you were even breathing shallowly in the first place. your body thankful for the relief it was given by your person. you wrapped your arms around his waist and time seemed to freeze.

"how was work?" you mumbled against his chest and he chuckled which caused his whole body to vibrate around you. the sensation somewhat relaxing you even more as a smile rose to your face.

"it was good. foggy was gifted a live chicken... again." it was your turn to laugh as you let go of the embrace to look up into your boyfriend's face.

"a live chicken?!" you wiped a tear that fell from your eye that was caused from a mixture of laughter and the form of relief your body released. Matt's smile grew impossibly larger as he placed his hands on both sides of your face, brushing his thumbs against your cheek. you then held onto his wrists, keeping him from moving as you took in the warmth of his hands that was fire compared to the winter cold outside. you took in his features in that moment. the way wrinkles began to form around his cheeks from his smiles. they matched the ones that trailed from his eyes that were hidden behind his red glasses but you have been able to see pass the red lenses and into his brown eyes as they searched for you.

"he wanted me to take it home but I said you wouldn't enjoy chasing a chicken around." he shrugged, relishing in your genuine laugh.

"I already have to deal with you." you joked. he scoffed in return before kissing your forehead.

"I don't know how you do it." he responded. "speaking of... I got your favorite" he gestured toward the takeout on the counter that's smell finally trailed its way to you. it was then that you realized just how hungry you were. between the sleep and cleaning and everything else your mind decided was more important, you realized its been hours since your last meal.

you looked back at your boyfriend with a soft smile before leaning in to kiss him. "thank you, matty."

"anything for you, love."

with that, you slightly squeezed at his wrists before letting go and taking the styrofoam box that had your initial on it to the table. Matt followed along with his. you opened the top to reveal your go to meal. as you gave out a satisfied hum, a happy silence filled the room as you both ate.

it was then that your thoughts began to shift. before you met Matt, these moments of reliving your past was difficult. it controlled your life. it was hard to wake up in the morning or even look in the mirror sometimes. then this horribly good man walked into your life and showed you how to live with the moments; not just survive.

bad times were an absolute, yes. today managed to still prove that. but at least this morning, you woke up to soft kisses across your temple and comforting words given by someone that loved you, cared for you, reminded you that you were in fact worth loving. someone who still let you sleep the bad times away because he knew you needed it but also left the door open for you to talk when you were ready. maybe you weren't just yet, but you knew in time you would be. he made it easy to know. and now here you were, eating in complete silence but your thoughts were not of those times. no, they were of moments of pure bliss. you have never been so grateful for the silence- until it was interrupted by a random thought that came to Matt's mind. you'd smile and sometimes playfully kick at his feet below the table or lightly hit his should from across the table. whatever the distraction, it would rack up to be enough to make you feel safer than you've ever felt.

maybe tonight would be when you'd share of those bad moments that kept you up at night or kept you from truly enjoying your days. you knew this time would pass, as they always do.

Matt would listen, as he always does. as he is now. listening to how your breathing has began to regulate on its own and your heart beat found a safe and relaxed tempo, beating along with his. he loved you, with everything in him and he would stop at nothing to make sure you were reminded everyday; reminded that you are worthy of love, worthy of someone to advocate for you, worthy of patience, worthy of acceptance, and worthy of living a life where you felt safe.

and you were.

@werewolveslovewords hope this brings you some comfort ! so much love for you sending this request in

#matt murdock fic #matt murdock comfort #Matthew murdock #daredevil #daredevil fanfiction #matt murdock fanfiction #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x fem!reader #daredevil x reader #daredevil x fem!reader #daredevil fic #djarintreble

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rabbitbakery · 2 months

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(if your one of my friends im ok! Don’t worry, I just needed to get this off my chest💜)

I had to block one of my old friends as of recently because they were being horrible, and it kinda brought back some bad memories. This is a way for me to say I’m probably not gonna be posting much for a bit for my mental health. I’m putting this because one, I think getting it out there would help a little, and two because I feel like I don’t know how to articulate how I’m feeling out loud. I’m ok, I’ll be ok, I just need a second. If you are one of my friends please don’t read this, I’m not going to be upset if you do, but it’s pretty heavy and has a lot of stuff I don’t really know how to handle just yet, but I’m ok, don’t worry, again, I just need time.

TW SUICIDE

I had a family member kill them selves about a year ago. The date that it happened is going to be in a few months. I don’t think that’s why I’m feeling the way I am but it might be contributing? I don’t know. But this event has caused a more recent phobia to start affecting my health, Somniphobia. For people who don’t know what that means, it means I’m terrified to fall asleep. I’m scared of time passing, which is why I think me having to stop talking to said friend is affecting me so much. They had cheated on their partner, then ran to me for pity and it was bad enough that I needed to stop talking to them. This wasn’t really the catalyst to me having mental health issues, I’ve always had them, but it made me spiral a bit. The weird part is I have no idea why I’m so terrified of sleeping, everytime I wake up everything’s fine, I have loving parents, I have friends who I would kill god for, I just guess I’m scared of one day waking up and all of that being gone. When my family member died, it was nighttime. Everything was normal, then I heard my mom start hysterically crying, and she had to bring me downstairs and call my sibling to tell us what happened. Both my parents were at my aunts house for about a week constantly, since it was her child who had died, which meant I was alone in a quiet house for days. I remember that night I stressed cleaned the kitchen and made my parents peppermint tea for when they got home. And I slept, barely. I guess because it happened at night that now I’m scared of that happening again. I’m scared of missing any moments with the people I love. But the problem is I’m not really close with my family where I live, which is my moms side, and I’d hope that any of my friends would tell me if they felt that way. But she didn’t. She didn’t tell anyone and she’s gone. And she’s never coming back. I don’t know how to process that, I don’t know what to do with myself. I exhaust myself till I can’t stay awake, and repeat the process. I’m trying to get better, it’ll be a process, but i think it’s probably a good idea for me to get professional help. So I will be taking a break, posts will be slow, and I’m not going to try and push myself to draw unless I’m ready and mentally energized to do so. Thank you for the support, even if I’m not a big artist by any means every like means the world. I’m not leaving, but I am being gentle with myself.

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bad-advice-its-very-bad · 1 year

Note

tw general mentions of mental health

so i have this friend. let's call them emily. i've known emily for two years now, and they've grown to be one of my closest friends. mostly because we both really struggle with mental health stuff and at that point in my life no one else knew about those struggles. we helped each other through a lot of really crappy stuff and times. the difference is, in those two years, i've gone to, and am still in therapy, and have learned coping skills, have a support system etc etc etc ive tried convincing emily (on numerous occasions) to do the same, but they consistently refuse to do so, and they still pretty much only have me. there's also a ton of other stuff, but i could write a ten page essay about that. pretty much, our friendship, even though it's great feels kind of one-sided where im reaching out and they take weeks or months to respond (if they do at all) and dont really talk to me when we see each other in person and it's just getting really draining emotionally. so a few days ago, i finally make the decision to, well, not cut them off but pretty much tell them i'd had enough and im going to take a break for a while. they responded and pretty much just went straight to the self-deprecation (pretty much im sorry im so worthless and can't even maintain a friendship). and while im just so relieved that i've cut them off, more or less, to some degree, im just so worried since im all they have and if im gone who knows what will happen. so what should i do?

sorry for the long message

hum, that’s a tricky one.

First things first, I’d shove a WHOLE lotta resources on mental health in their messages. I know it may seem like your annoying them, but if it’s that bad they deserve to know there’s helplines and chats and groups that they can turn to. (I suggest vet them before you send them)

Secondly, sometimes it’s hard for people to realize they are allowed to reach out for help. Even if they only think it’s minor or it will take valuable space for others that “ are worst than them” But they have every right to reach out for help, their allowed to go to people with minor issues or major issues. And if you can somehow get that through their head you’ll probably see some improvement.

thirdly, I don’t think they can access traditional in person therapy as it seems. You can never know why, personally for me it’s a whole BIG awful talk about my mental health that I never want to tell my family. And it might be a similar situation with your friend, so unorthodox ways to get that same therapy experience might benefit them alot.

fourthly, you can’t help everyone. Sometimes it’s on them to figure out how to cope and understand how to get better, and even though you love them and care deeply it’s hard to get them to understand that. If you’re worried your friend might be engaging in risky behaviors (S/H, alcoholism, drugs, suicidal behavior, taking too many risks for no apparent reason.)

I suggest trying to talk to them about harm reduction.

fifthly, you being emotionally drained and exhausted by being their therapist friend is totally valid. your friend saying self deprecating things is just a symptom of a bigger problem they have, it's not your fault or anything you need a break from them. if they were in the same situation they would do the same thing, it's hard to manage both your mental health and your friends. I don't blame you for being exhausted, the reason I do this stuff is because I'm exhausted by my own problems and this is a healthy and constructive way to help both you and me. your helping your friend out of love, but also obligation.

I think a good plan to do is.

give your friend a pep talk and show them tons of alternate ways to access therapy that is not in person.

give them helpline information and tell the "I've known you for so long, I'd never try to hurt you. I just want you to know there's options if life gets hard and I'm not around

tell them about harm reduction, and CURB any and all negative connotations about addiction and self harm. if they are suffering the best thing you can do is be accepting and show them ways to safely and also reduce the harm of the addictions/self harm.

tell them if they are being abused. in anyway period, they can trust you to not victim blame or something without knowing the full story. we don't know what's happening with them, but we have to be kind and caring if that's the reason for her mental health. tell them "it was never your fault, you didn't know." or "you were just a kid, it was never you that was the problem but how you were treated. it's okay to be upset or angry, or grieve the life you should have had. that's normal. trust me I'm here for you."

also if the whole abuse thing is a yes, give them tons of abuse helplines. you and I don't know how to go forward with that knowledge but the helplines know how to.

support them and tell them truely why you feel drained (if you Hadn't already.) and tell them you actually care alot about them and this is not an attack or that your mad at them or anything. your overwhelmed too, and you both should feel not overwhelmed. (VERY IMPORTANT, YOU HAVE TO SAY YOUR NOT ANGRY OR ANYTHING. mentally ill people tend to think the worst if you don't say it. be kind and caring, and they should not feel so bad.)

if that doesn't work, I think you yourself should call a helpline and ask about strategies to help your friend. they should know a lot more than both you and me.

thank you for sending an ask in, this has been interesting!

I hope you can figure out a way to help your friend.

if worst comes to worse, I suggest you give your friend character.ai's psychologist's link to your friend. it's better than nothing, and it's surprisingly helped me too. so it might help your friend open up.

here's the link LINK

I hope I was able to provide a push in the right direction, remember this is the BAD advice blog. not everything will work, sometimes we both have to fail a bit to figure out the best way to help people.

#-belle/pop #the bad advice blog #send me anons #mental ill health #mental illness #mental health #answered asks #answered questions #anon #anon ask #asks #anonymous #anonymous asks

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4uru · 1 year

Text

(Tw: Vent post)

I went thru some of my worst depressive, suicidal, self hating episodes during quarentine. Teenage angst fuelled to the max by gender dysphoria, internalized homophobia and transphobia. In 2020 baby me wrote several letters addressed to future me, telling me to kill myself . I will be 16 soon, those letters were addressed to me. I know if anyone reading this who is an adult feels like this is just a kid complaning. And ur not wrong.

This is probably not even thing i will ever face in my life. And that thought scares me.

I was a different, very miserable, angry and tiny person in quarentine, i was brimming with hate and sadness, i had no friends. I was a kid who was stuck in a house 24/7 with my (suddenly) religious mother who i stupidly came out to, my parents werent even a little bit supportive back then, they thought i was fetishizing being LGBTQ my dad thought i wanted to be trans and gay to be different. (Lets not even open that can of worms)

What im trying to say is, it took alot of work to get where i am this year. I tried hard "loving myself", i worked hard to look at myself and not see a complete fucking monster. I tried very hard to believe in a future.

But all my work is down the drain bc of this fucking system. I dont want a future anymore. I am fucking done hearing critism from the generation who had adequate study plans. Who didnt have the life drained out of them everyday. My parents talk so brazenly about my generation about our studies like its the same. 30 years ago the Curriculum was in their favor, now its evil and twisted and i dont want to go through wjth it.

I legit fantasize suicide just to avoid dealing with it. Everytime i go to school or coaching all i hear are different voices telling me how much hard work i have to do to pass SSC, then get into a good college, then HSC, then University etc etc etc.

I tried to look forward to a future, i forced myself to imagine a life for myself, i swear i tried. I just dont want to anymore, i told myself i want to be an animator, or just work in an artistic field,

I dont want a future anymore, i cant keep going on, its fucking exhausting, i dont want anything from my life. I have nothing to look forward to, everytime i try its always an exam to prove to people that im worthy of existing. Every fucking time.

It never ends, it wont ever end, i will just be wrung out and burnt out of everything i ever cared about. I cant go on a day without being berated and if i do, i cant go on with out feeling guilty for using my free time to be at peace. They hardwired my brain to hate myself then they yell at me for it

I dont know if ppl know how easy its for me to be desensitized to death, i have no qualms about it, i didnt literally since the day i turned 8. I have read ppl saying ppl sho commit suicide are cowards, and i remember feeling worse about it. Bc somewhere deep down i do feel like a fucking coward and a quitter.

But i genuinly dont care anymore, i cant keep doing this, i dont think i am strong enough. My friends talk about how i have a clear cut future with my art and stuff. But holy shit no i dont, i dont think i will live to see 18. I dont want to live to see 18. I dont want to keep doing this.

Sometimes i wish i was religious so i would have someone to pray to, to believe in, but i dont. I never did, i could never believe in someone. I wish i did rn bc maybe that can be my salvation. But its not.

I just cant anymore with this shit, yaar. I feel like i am going to shatter like glass if i even move.

I dont think ppl know how much their tiny jabs build up on my skin to become a large gaping wound that i just cant stitch back up.

I sometimes think that, if i do it, if i do kill myself, they are just going to blame it on social media and other teenage angst bullshit.

I dont want to live like this, i dont want to prove my existence. Kill me, i will accept it, just let me go.

It hurts so much to go on with life knowing my inevitable failure. And even if i dont fail, if i somehow by some miracle get to college, the cycle will start again, in every step of life theres some new competition i have to win to have the right to exist in society.

I dont know whats the point anymore its all the same shit in repeat. "OH but life has so much to offer" no thank you, i will take the receit and see myself out. If you say its about ppl? Family? Friends? Desi parents of queer children are hardly the point of life, and friends? What friends? The person who came to school and told me that she dreamt of dieing and was disappointed when she woke up?.

The people who to my face said they tolarate my existence?

"It doesn't matter what you think" it matters when i spend 5 days a week 6 hours a day with these sons of bitches.

I just fucking cant anymore, bro.

And i dont think i deserve to die, i dont hate myself that much anymore. But its so exhausting. Before i used to look for painless deaths, just quite and painless. Now i dont even care about that, make it quick, get me out of here, i dont care how much blood and gore i will turn into just let me leave.

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