#probably won't write it

[tossawary]

I just know in my heart of hearts that in "Star Trek" at one point, there was some moral panic somewhere on Vulcan (among the uppity sorts) because Human culture was "infecting" the local youth with their overly emotional, destructive, unproductive, frivolous, and uneducational ways.

And what was actually happening was that a bunch of Vulcan kids got really into 23rd-century "Minecraft" or something.

Small Vulcan child @ another Vulcan child: (in a tone that sounds flat to Humans but angry as hell to Vulcans) "You have compromised the optimization of my fortress. I am having an emotional urge to blow up your house... in Minecraft."

[urdreamgirls-dreamgirl]

part one part two

there’s an incessant & incredibly annoying sound coming from the kitchen when eddie finally drags himself out of his massive bed & down the stairs the next morning. he’d just gotten off a long phone call with chrissy that should have taken ten minutes & ended up taking a full hour, only for her to come to the conclusion that he needed to be there when both teams met this afternoon to discuss the logistics of the joint public appearance she had finally talked him in to over the course of two very late-night phone calls the night before and dozens of increasingly desperate text messages. eddie was an asshole, but he wasn't about to ruin everything that he and the band had been working toward for years. so he’s already deeply annoyed & a little pissed off as he makes his way to breakfast & it takes him a moment of standing in the hallway, face scrunched up in confusion, but it almost sounds like… jingling.

he sets his mouth in a straight line, takes a deep breath, & drags his still-tired body through the doorway into the kitchen for breakfast.

a breakfast that’s being made by assistant steve, who’s wearing… the most hideous sweater vest known to man.

“what the fuck are you wearing?” eddie blurts out before he can even think twice about it. not that he would’ve, anyway.

steve looks up from where he’s cooking at the stove to glance at eddie before looking down at his own torso. “you don’t like it?” steve frowns, as if he actually cares about eddie’s opinion. “i know it’s a few months early, but it’s one of my favorites. i found it at a goodwill a couple of years ago, can you believe it? someone just gave this away?”

“uh, yeah,” eddie rolls his eyes dramatically to make sure that steve can see. “i can definitely fucking believe it.”

because steve is wearing the most disgusting christmas sweater vest eddie has ever seen. hand-knit, if the crooked & misshapen santa head is anything to go by, & absolutely covered in… jingle bells.

“come on,” steve says, returning to his task of cooking eddie’s breakfast. “surely even you don’t hate christmas.”

“i do,” eddie lies. “and this is a strictly non-religious household. it’s against company policy to bring christmas into the building.”

“what company is that?” steve asks, not even looking at him.

eddie scowls but doesn’t respond, noticing a green gift bag on the counter. “what’s this?”

steve turns. “what’s what?”

“this,” eddie gestures toward the bag.

“oh,” steve smiles. “well, since you gave me such a great ‘welcome to the team’ gift yesterday,” steve gestures to the pink cat collar eddie hadn’t noticed that he’d looped through one of his belt loops, “i figured i should get you something too.” eddie makes no move toward the bag on the counter. “go ahead,” steve goads, still smiling. “everyone loves presents, right?”

eddie, not one to back down when challenged, pulls the bag toward himself & stares at it for a moment, as if it might bite him. steve has gone back to plating eddie’s morning omelet for him, like he doesn’t even care if eddie opens the gift or not. eddie discards the green tissue paper & pulls out… a set of black plastic tongs. the cheap kind you get at ikea for 39 cents when you finally move out of your parents house & have your first ever apartment. clearly used, if the melting on one side is anything to go by, like whoever owned them had left them resting on top of a hot toaster for too long.

“what the fuck?”

steve brings eddie’s breakfast plate over to where he’s standing at the massive kitchen island. “i thought they’d be helpful.” he’s still, infuriatingly, smiling.

“helpful for what?” eddie demands.

“to pull the stick out of your ass.”

~*~

eddie had fired vickie for less. he’s still stewing on it, the insufferable way steve had grinned at him as he’d thrown the tongs across the room & stormed from the kitchen, leaving behind the omelet he’d actually been looking forward to. he’d retreated to his basement studio without a word, pretending as if he’d try writing or even just playing mindlessly in the hopes he’d strike gold, but so far he’s just been sitting in silence with his guitar in his hands, replaying the events from the kitchen in his mind.

the thing is, eddie knows he’s an asshole. and he knows it’s gotten worse since… well, he knows he’s gotten worse in the last year. since everything happened. since wayne.

he knows it & he can’t stop it, even if he really wanted to, which he doesn’t. he likes the power rush, the adrenaline, the superiority he feels when he’s nasty to someone & they just have to take it. it feels good, after so much bad. as long as he doesn’t really consider the feelings of the person on the receiving end of his ire. as long as wayne isn’t there to give him that disappointed sigh & those sad hangdog eyes of his.

because wayne had been his moral compass. wayne had been everything. and now that he’s gone, eddie has no way to check himself. no reason to. it just doesn’t matter anymore.

so he’s mean & he knows it. likes it. won’t stop for anything.

he startles when there’s a knock on the glass that separates the booth from the control room & looks up to see steve waving at him & then point down at his watch.

eddie waits until steve retreats back upstairs before following.

~*~

the car ride to nancy’s office is silent. eddie wears his noise canceling headphones & sits in the back seat, doesn’t even acknowledge steve when he jumps out of the car at the valet stand, just shoves past the security guard at the door & makes his way toward the elevator where chrissy’s waiting for him.

“hey,” she greets him, sunny smile on her face. eddie wants to say something biting, wants to hurt her because he knows he can, but he doesn’t.

“hi,” he grumbles instead & follows her into the elevator where she hits the button for nancy’s floor. he leans against the back wall, folds his arms over his chest & stares down at his boots.

“so like we talked about, his team it here. doesn’t look like he’s with them,” she tells him. eddie looks up at that.

“then why the fuck do i have to be here?”

chrissy sighs. “he was supposed to show. that was part of the deal. that you’d both be here to work out the details of the appearance.”

“if he’s just gonna make this a joke—" eddie can feel the anger rising in him.

“i don’t think that’s what this is, eddie,” chrissy levels him with a look. “i think he’s in real trouble with his label.”

“chris, i don’t need this. i didn’t do anything wrong,” eddie tells her, anger flaring.

“you started a brawl at a club that damaged twenty thousand dollars worth of property, eddie.”

eddie rolls his eyes. “there’s no way anything in the hideout is worth twenty thousand dollars. the land it sits on isn’t even worth that much.”

chrissy sighs again. “what’s the issue? seriously. i thought you guys hadn't even seen each other in over a year. i know he was shitty back then, but i thought everything was fine. how did this even start?”

if it were anyone else, eddie would just ignore the question. but since it’s chrissy, he takes a deep breath and says, “he talked about wayne. said shit that was private, between us. stuff that was said behind closed doors. stuff that shouldn’t have been brought into a fucking club in front of a bunch of drunk strangers doing coke, for fucks sake.” he slams his fist into the elevator wall, too angry to stop himself. chrissy doesn’t even flinch, too used to his outbursts at this point.

chrissy just looks at him & he can feel himself squirm under her gaze. “okay,” she says, like that’s all there is to it. and maybe it is, because she loved wayne too & she was there for it all. wayne’s illness, the funeral, the fallout. she saw it all. “why don’t you go home? he’s not here. we can do this without you.” eddie tries to interrupt but she cuts him off. “we won’t agree to anything without talking to you first. i promise.”

the elevator dings. they’re finally at nancy’s floor.

“fine,” eddie says, leaning back against the elevator wall & crossing his arms again as chrissy moves to hit the button for the lobby before getting off.

“i’ll call you, okay? and we’ll talk about it,” she says, before walking down the hall to the conference room.

~*~

the elevator ride seems to take forever & by the time eddie makes it back down to the lobby, steve has somehow managed to park the car and find another smoothie, the same purple as yesterday’s.

“let’s go,” eddie grumbles as he passes where steve is sitting. steve looks up in surprise.

“that’s it?” steve asks, getting up from the bench he’s sitting on. “i thought you had a meeting?”

“canceled. i wanna go home,” eddie pushes through the glass doors out into the LA sunshine.

steve doesn’t say anything, just hands the valet their ticket & they wait several minutes before the car is brought back around.

eddie knows he shouldn’t. knows it’s mean. but he can’t help himself. as he brushes past steve to climb into the backseat, he knocks the smoothie straight from steve’s hand, where it falls to the sidewalk, sending splatters of purple all across steve’s clean sneakers & the bottoms of his light wash jeans.

“oops, sorry. no liquids in the car,” eddie says, shrugging in mock remorse as he slides into his seat.

eddie watches from inside the car as steve stands on the sidewalk motionless in surprise as the valet scrambles for tissues. and honestly, eddie feels better than he has in days. he almost smiles.

[necrotic-nephilim]

as much as I love the common "Tim worships/stalks Jason" trope in TimJay fanfiction because it's Good and making Tim a weird little freak is Fun, I think the underutilized dynamic is where Jason is the one weirdly obsessed with Tim and makes it Tim's problem.

Like, the moment Jason is confronted with the information that a third Robin exists, the first thing he does is cover his wall with pictures of Tim so he can just obsess and torture himself over it. That is the behavior of a man who is Unwell over Tim's existence and I love it.

red hood: lost days #4

And as much as a shitshow as The Titans Tower Incident™ is characterization-wise (though I think it has far more merit in depicting Jason's character than people give it credit for but I digress-) there's something very fun about the fact that even after kicking his ass, Jason respects Tim and is impressed by him.

teen titans (2003) #29

And on top of that, Jason can't seem to stop trying to ask Jason to Tim to work with him in some capacity.

robin (1993) #177

batman: battle for the cowl #2

While Battle for the Cowl is an exceptionally bad comic, especially for its characterization of Jason and the "be my Robin" bit is taken deeply out of context, I do think it's interesting how obsessed Jason is with believing that Tim is extremely competent, only held back by being "brainwashed by Bruce". (hence him leaving Tim for dead later on in the comic.) Jason seeing a darker side of Tim and wanting to bring that out of Tim, wanting to see what Tim could be if he let go of his loyalty to Bruce is so fun to me, tbh.

And in Robin #177, Jason seems genuinely upset Tim doesn't want to work with him. Jason sees such a raw potential in Tim and is obsessed with it, constantly wanting Tim to work for him and see Tim be the type of person Jason is. And despite Tim rejecting him, Jason doesn't shoot to kill Tim. I just cannot get over the fanfic potential of Jason obsessing over Tim, tracking him and seeing what he's capable of and what he could be capable of. Wanting to make Tim see things the way he does. To Tim it's corruption, to Jason it's freedom. Tim trying to 'save' Jason is fun and all, but Jason trying to corrupt Tim? That's even more fun to me. Watching that power struggle between them, Tim unable to get Jason off his heels as Jason gets more and more possessive and bold with each attempt.

And when Jason sees Tim successfully get Gotham back under control after a gang war, he's impressed. He praises Tim, even. And then Tim just. Breaks him out of prison.

robin (1993) #182

The way they're constantly trying to see something in the other that isn't there, hoping the other will come around? That is the most fucked up hate/love dynamic ever. Jason keeps coming back to Tim, keeps trying to find ways to get Tim onto his side. They're always chasing each other. And I think Jason would be the one to confess love first, the one to do anything to make Tim his. And when you consider after all of this, Tim has his Red Robin arc and is at his lowest, getting the closest he ever gets to considering murder? I think it'd be so fun to see Jason take advantage of that and worm his way back into Tim's life and finally push Tim over the edge.

[frosted-woods]

autumn time to be gay and totally fine and not miserable at all

[mikkeneko]

There was a discussion about Shen Qingqiu going around recently that included the line "Shen Qingqiu is a character that Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan take turns playing," which really stuck with me, but why not be pedantic about it: Understudy AU

Shen Jiu is one of the headliner actors for a large popular play (or a musical) as the main villain, Shen Qingqiu. Mid-season he gets struck by some manner of accident or illness and has to be replaced by his understudy, Shen Yuan.

Shen Yuan steps up to the challenge, and despite some concerns on the part of the art review columns, is able to live up to it -- he has the script memorized, he can act and sing, he's a close enough match for Shen Jiu in looks that once the makeup and costume are on you'd have to look really closely to tell that it's a different man under there.

There's just one very noticeable difference: where the actor Shen Jiu had a contentious relationship with his costar -- Luo Mei, the male lead, a celebrity pop idol in his breakout acting role -- Shen Yuan is an enormous fan of his.

Shen Yuan still says all the lines and sings all the songs appropriate for a villain, but as the production rolls on, people begin to notice there's just a different... attitude that the character of Shen Qingqiu displays towards the character of Luo Binghe. There's a fondness in his motions and an aching in his gaze that he just can't stamp out. The conflict between Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe starts to sound less like a spiteful rivalry and more like a melancholy period drama.

The audience begins to notice. The audience eats it up. Shen Jiu is apoplectic. The production manager is not pleased, and tries to force Shen Yuan back into line -- but it's not like they can replace him! He is the replacement. And he's doing a good enough job on a technical level that they can't justify firing him.

[magicpiano]

I have seen a few AUs where Haymitch is in the 75th games, but they all seem to have the same ending: Haymitch gets out to 13 and Peeta is captured by the capital. I get the reason people write it like this, but honestly I want a role swap AU with hijacked Haymitch.

In sotr we learned that what really happened in Haymitch's games was so different from what was shown. Now imagine if after the torture, even Haymitch isn't sure which version of reality is real or not?

The entirety of the 50th games is one of Beetee's worst memories, yet he is one of the only people able to tell Haymitch what is and isn't real. What if he was made to hate the memory of Lenore Dove just to fulfill Snow's fantasy of revenge? What if he was made to believe he killed her on purpose?

There is sooooo much potential here.

[gothamite-rambler]

Kory: We should get married in a year.

Dick: Yeah... What?

Kory: I've had my share of adventures and experiences in my single life and in our poly dynamic. After exploring that side of myself, especially during my time with the Outlaws, I've come to realize that what I truly want is a deeper connection with you. I love you, Richard.

Dick sniffled, his eyes misty as he smiled. He looked away, looking at the ceiling.

Dick (talking to his parents): Mom, Dad if you don't want this for some reason, send a sign.

After a minute of silence and nothing bad happening in the room, Dick sighed with relief. Kory laughed softly, waiting for her boyfriend's response.

Dick (playing it cool): I guess I've reached that age to get married and you've been someone I could see myself growing old with. Yeah, in a year I will propose to you.

Kory (eager): Perfect! Oh, and you'll be getting married to a woman that's not a five stage clinger who is no good. Like Talia.

Dick: You remembered I said that. That makes me want you more.

Dick and Kory shared a kiss while Hayley napped next to the couch.

[ckret2]

"I won't get attached to the utilitarian OCs I created to serve specific narrative roles, I won't get attached to the utilitarian OCs I created to serve specific narrative roles, I won't get attached to the utilitarian OCs I created to serve specific narrative roles—" unfortunately i have given the annoying vending machine a tragic backstory.

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

Guilliman's Soup

"Look, I'm not going to harm any of you, not unless it involves stuffing Guilliman in a room without his....." Fulgrim trails off, the demon prince's lower half coiling in discomfort as he stares at the abomination that bubbled within the pot. It smelled distinctly of both Mjød and cigarettes, appearing as something that Fulgrim was uncertain if even a Nurgling would eat. He certainly wouldn't. Actually he doesn't think any Slaaneshi demon is depraved enough to even attempt to make such a thing. He shakes his head. "Will I be allowed to help?" Calgar, who was certainly not at all expecting to see the demon prince of excess himself at the entrance to the Imperial palace, couldn't decide if this was a good thing or a bad thing. On one hand it meant that his primarch wasn't affected by any chaos god, if even Slaanesh was getting involved; on the other, did he really want to accept the help of a demon prince? Especially one that is well.... Calgar sighs deeply, "Fine, you might actually be a good deterrent to Dante anyway. He's been a pain in the ass" "Who is-" Fulgrim doesn't get to finish his sentence as a very old marine of what appears to be of the blood angel's chapter is shooed away by a serf with a broom, wacking the marine's shins with it as he hisses like an angry goose. Fulgrim has his answer on who Dante is but is now even further confused, "I thought Blood Angels were supposed to be noble?" "I'm hoping the soup will kill me" Dante helpfully responds which has the demon prince blinking in utter shock, because what the fuck happened to Sanguinius' sons!? Another Ultramarine, this one apparently named Cato is crawling on his hands and knees out of the room where Dante came from, coughing and generally being a rather sad sight with the stench of both vomit and the abominable liquid upon his breath. Slaanesh, who just briefly decided to turn her head towards whatever the fuck her demon prince was doing, vomits and mutters 'I can't believe none of this was Nurgle's idea; he actually wants the fucking recipe!'. Needless to say, Fulgrim doesn't really want to know what's exactly in that pot. Instead he dryly says "I'm amazed this hasn't summoned anything other then myself..." Calgor sighs "No, it has, there's the Sanguinor, and it's currently being kept back by some Sister of Silence out of fear that it's going to beat Dante to death with a sandle. Personally I'm not fond of trying to explain to the blood angels that we didn't kill their chapter master; it was the soul of Sanguinius, himself, that ended his life. I can't see that going too well...And Cato, please stop eating father's soup." "But-" "No buts or I'm throwing you into the same room as the Sanguinor" That stopped any more protests out of Cato who shuddered at the very idea of confronting the very angry warp spirit that was half of mind to possess someone.

The sound of what Fulgrim could still recognize after all these years as a very angry Leman Russ can be heard in the distance yelling "WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO WITH MY FUCKING MJOD, ROBOUTE!?" This was going to be a long and terrible process, Fulgrim just knows it. ____ This short story was inspired by a convo between myself and @moociaoafterdark on this post.

[theone-whocamebeforeallelse]

I just can't get these stupid-ass scenarios out of my head with Tenya & Tensei and Tensei's hero friends, said friends being Kayama.Nemuri, Aizawa Shouta, Yamada Hizashi (Oboro Shirakumo died before Tenya could even remember him, after all).

I constantly have these visions of them being a bunch of chaotic ass young adults, fresh sidekicks, messy asf somewhere in their twenties, and poor Tenya growing up around them.

7 y/o Tenya, pouting: "Shouta, Tensei and Nemuri say you need to 'get laid, preferably by Hizashi', and that they should 'set you up'. What does that mean? They won't tell me"

Shouta, 22, gay and miserable, does indeed need to get laid and preferably by Hizashi, to tired to deal with this: "It means that Tenya and Nemuri think that Hizashi and I need to hang out more."

Tenya simply nods sagely and walks away, planning to inform Hizashi of this, unbeknownst to Shouta, of course.

[fushitoru]

note how if i have an opinion about something, i'll tag it as discourse? very demure. very mindful. i don't go clogging up x reader tags just so i can gain more exposure and ragebait more people! very cutsey, very modest. i also block people who make content i don't like instead of sending anon hate! very classy. very considerate.

[deikshen]

Many years later, the teenage Bingqiu cultivator son is excited about his first IAC. He is a strong, talented boy, and has virtually no demonic traits whatsoever, which means that his place in the righteous sect is not diminished by his heritage.

Shen Qingqiu is happy, and although his husband is anxious —which is obvious, Binghe doesn't have any very good memories of his own IAC—, he trusts his own son, that he's strong and capable, and according to Airplane, there's no demonic beast too much OP or attack planned for this year. Great! His boy will shine and put on a magnificent show!!

... So, on the morning of the IAC, Shen Qingqiu wakes up to a notification from the System. The System, silent for the past long years, now just—

[ The Host wants to activate the Main Quest «Pride Immortal Demon Way - The Sequel!»?]

[ The Main Quest contains: “Endless Horror! Endless Betrayal!”, “Baby Stallion: On the rise!”, “Repeated Nightmare → Couples Therapy!”, “First steps of the Future New Protagonist!!”, “A heart so broken that readers just can cry” ]

[ The Main Quest contains: recovery of the main tag “scum villain”!!, change of user of the “Protagonist Halo”, reactivation of OOC-blocked commands, add the tags: hopelessness, tragedy, fake amnesia, separation, angst, post-tearful reconciliation, identity reveal, relentless search ]

[ The Main Quest unlock the following locations: Endless Abyss. ]

[ Yes/Yes ]

[luvo27]

because they got me thinking about it, here's a fics I probably won't write: the idea behind my silly (by which i mean horrifying hopefully) wayne family adventures fic!!

premise: told through a weird and funky novelization of chapters of wayne family adventures. there is something something magic plague something something. the batfam (at as dysfunctional as you can get stage) is getting brainwashed/forced to play happy families in a shared dream (the dream being wfa)

there are little glitches as people fall asleep and characters join the hallucination one by one and sometimes people are like whattt the hell am i doing here and then they get zapped into happy family time. and it works because there's a part of them that wants happy family.

at some point things break a little too hard (a character references a really bad argument that never got resolved outside the dream or some such) and there's a glitchy blow up argument between a couple of characters, and then it cuts off. the next chapter resumes and those characters are still there, but Different. Happier and Smiley-er Family. from there it goes from shared hallucination to bruce's individual hallucination as the other characters are yoinked out one by one as the dream keeps breaking. and then bruce is left with these kind of like. happy smiling mannequin people. and he's alone in the dream.

this is when outside magic intervention comes in as the jla or some such have been doing actual work in the real world and the batfam start waking up slowly in a superhero hospital ward and none of them can look at each other because they all remember their happy family moments and they all go their separate ways as fast as they can

eventually they get all the information about the magic disease thing and they all find out that their shared dream/hallucination only worked (for however long it did) because there was a part of them that wanted it. and they have to face the fact that they wanted it, and they have to face the fact that even though the dream/hallucination magic was created to keep them in the dream together, they still managed to be so dysfunctional that they broke it. and then they have to deal with the fact that everyone else knows that they wanted happy families.

from here, depending on the characters involved in whichever different relationship, there are multiple ways it can go. they can realize that the other person wants to repair their relationship, reach out and make amends, as awkward as it might be. They can be haunted by the knowledge of how the other person wants to repair the relationship, and how they managed to break it in the dream even with the dream pushing the happy family reality upon them, and decide for good that they're better off without each other and learn how to grieve what could have never been. they can continue to hover awkwardly around each other and ignore everything that happened and fall back into the status quo, except for how sometimes they'll accidentally reference something that only happened in the Happy Families dream.

this is a story about the difference between the dream you can never have because there is too much history and hurt, and the horrible difficult reality of people who might truly want to repair a relationship and do better, and don't know how to get there and the different ways that reality can turn out.

[mikkeneko]

having now read all of the coffin rescue AUs, the hurt/comfort gremlin in me is blissfully sated, but finding myself a little saddened at the lack of Xianle Trio in them, particularly Feng Xin (this is why I probably won't get much into TGCF fandom, really -- I ship the wrong things.)

so in order to take this trope and, as usual, make it as stupid as possible, I am imagining what if Feng Xin were the one to coincidentally stumble over Xie Lian in the coffin? Because he'd certainly help him out! -- he cares too much to do otherwise! -- but he would be so incredibly unequipped to deal with the fallout of All Of That.

i am now picturing Feng Xin having broken the coffin and absconded with Xie Lian, possibly back to his palace, puts him on a couch and is now just staring at the absolute catatonic mess that is post-coffin Xie Lian while bluescreening and panicking because he doesn't even know where to begin. does Xie Lian need a bath? food? medical treatment? all of the above but where does he even start??

so, I'm thinking possibly in his panic he calls Mu Qing, because he simply doesn't know who else to turn to, and does a very bad job of explaining what he needs. and mu qing is just, ughhhh, why am I getting dragged back into this bullshit, but he goes over to Feng Xin's place complaining all the while, I am not a servant any more Feng Xin, you cannot ask me for favors just because you can't comprehend basic manual labor, it is 100% not my job any more to clean up after Xie Lian and this complaining monologue lasts right up until he lays eyes on Xie Lian and goes HOLY FUCKING SHIT

i am not going to write this

[ketchup-chup]

What if I made a post about how Reborn is actually super observant and a really great communicator? What if I made a post about how Reborn's closed off nature and attitude is a deliberate choice on his part and not because he's emotionally stunted or unable to communicate his feelings? What if I said he's incredible at reading people, and providing guidance to his students and to the others outside of his "spartan training" or being a strict tutor? What if I said he's very capable of being a comforting and kind person (look at how he treats Yuni at anytime or the girls, especially during the future arc), and if he doesn't act this way it's for a reason (either because he doesn't want to comfort them (lambo) or it wouldn't be beneficial to their growth to coddle them (Tsuna)) What if I made a post about how Reborn isn't as simpleminded or one note as people write him?

[buttercupshands]

I've been thinking a lot lately

ref to the quote under the cut

under the cut for maybe some people that would like to try and guess *shruggs*