#batfamily comedy

[confused-wanderer]

Okay but Bruce has to grow out a beard for a mission and after he shaves it all his kids are screaming bloody murder, the justice league lose it and the public is heartbroken.

The league still maintains some decorum in front of him, though they pout whenever they see him without it the first time. The public has been crying in outrage demanding he grow it back because the man looked like a fucking Greek god.

His kids? Oh, they don’t acknowledge him as the same person.

There’s Beard Wayne, and Bruce Wayne.

And nope. To them, they’re not the same. No matter how much Bruce tries. And to his chagrin, Alfred agrees with them.

[call-me-strega]

Dc x Dp Prompt #19: The Slide Show

Bruce invites his kids to to the Manor saying he wants to show them something.

They are filled with dread when he starts pulling up a slide show

They are filled with confusion and anticipation when he pulls up one labeled “Moral, Ethical, and Legal Reasons I Can’t Kill The Joker But My New Co-Worker (and age appropriate love interest for at least 3 of you) Can” with a picture of said new co-worker: a young man, maybe in his mid-20s, who is obviously a meta and/or alien or other, in what seems to be King Regalia beating the shit out Darkseid, underneath.

For once in his life Bruce is trying his life to clearly communicate his thought process, repair his relationship with his family (*cough*Jason*cough*), and to let his kids know he’s chill with it when one of them inevitably tries to hit on this dude. Three birds with one stone really. (Plus he had Alfred approve the slide show before inviting the kids over so he has high hopes for the night!)

[ghost-bxrd]

Stony silence rings from the other end of the line, but Jason knows Bruce is listening. Listening and running through several possibilities of how someone could have gotten this number while simultaneously tracking the call signal.

This is gonna be fucking gold.

Time to sell it.

“Dad,” he sobs, pitching his voice until it breaks, teeth chattering exaggeratedly, “Dad, please, I’m scared, I-“ Jason cuts himself off with a scream and another series of sobs, “Please, I can’t— it’s locked! Please, no, Dad, it’s locked—“

A sharp intake of breath, the dull thump of something heavy colliding unexpectedly.

“Dad!” Jason cries, calling upon every single drama class he’s ever had, “Please… please- it’s almost to zero- please, I’m sorry, please, please, it hurts so much-“

Bruce breaks.

“Jason, Jason, hold on Jaylad, hold on, I will find-“

Jason smashes the phone against the marble dress of the creepy angel standing guard over his grave. The pieces vanish into the wet grass, like an occult offering eaten by Gotham’s soil.

Then Jason turns and walks away with a gleeful little smile.

But not without flipping the stupid angel off one last time.

— Grave Pretender sneak peek

[ronnyraygun]

Why am I the funniest at the buttfuck of dawn??

[happypeachsludgeflower]

tim drake is the ceo of wayne enterprise. dick and jason band together as superhero/supervillain duo to annoy him to no end.

[lustwithoutlore]

Bruce: I'm retiring. Someone will need to fill my place.

Dick:

Tim:

Jason:

Barbara:

Duke:

Damian:

Stephanie, launching into a dramatic monologue: There comes a time when one has to step up and do what is right. Gotham needs a Batman, I will heed the call-

Bruce: Uh, Dick, how about you? You've been Batman before.

Stephanie: HEY!

Dick: Um.... I'll pass, thanks, Bruce.

Stephanie: No matter. I will become the beacon of hope this city needs. I will-

Bruce: Tim! You'll one day be an even better detective than me. You'd be a perfect Batman.

Jason, muttering: Over my dead body. Hey, wait...

Stephanie: DON'T IGNORE ME!

Tim: I'm already a better detective than you. And, if I had to take on anyone's mantle, I would pick Nightwing.

Dick, tearing up: Awww, Tim!

Stephanie: Again, it leaves me as the only option. The underbelly of Gotham City needs a figure to invoke fear, and I vow to be that figure-

Bruce: What about you, Damian? You've fought over the title of Batman many times!

Stephanie: YOU JERK!

Damian: Yeah, when I was twelve. I'm not a child anymore. I would rather be Nightwing.

Dick, sobbing: The both of you want my mantle? How will I choose a successor? This is getting to be too much. Babs, catch me!

Stephanie: I will fight for vengeance. No, I am vengeance. I will bring upon a dark reign that will be unleashed whenever a force threatens my city. For I am-

Cass, appearing out of the shadows: I will do it.

Bruce, happy because Cass was actually his first pick: Oh thank God.

Cass: But only if Steph is, too. We are Batgirl together. We will be The Bat together.

Stephanie: HA! YES! CASS YOU'RE THE BEST! I'M BATMAN!

Bruce: ... Actually, Stephanie, your words from before moved me. I've decided to be Batman for a while longer.

Stephanie: NOOOO! I was so close!

Cass, patting her back: There, there.

Dick: That's it! Tim, Damian! You can both be Nightwing! If Cass and Steph can be The Bat at the same time you guys can both take up my mantle one day, too!

Tim:

Damian:

Tim & Damian: ... I'll pass.

Dick: NOOOO! I was so close!

Barbara, patting his back: There, there.

[incorrectbatfam]

[Justice League interviews]

Bruce: So, Miss Quinn, as you know, we have all prospective League members take a lie detector test prior to joining our team. The new Lie Detector 3000 is programmed to go off when it hears you tell a lie. For example, go ahead and tell an obvious lie.

Harley: Grass is blue.

*BEEP*

Harley: I'm a tall Black man.

*BEEP*

Harley: I've never seen Jersey Shore.

*BEEP*

Harley: I love it, I've never missed one.

[later]

Bruce: Have you ever been fired from a job before?

Harley: No.

*BEEP*

Harley: Three times.

Bruce: Have you ever stolen from an employer before?

Harley: No.

*BEEP*

Harley: Alright, damnit!

Bruce: How much would you say you've stolen before?

Harley: Hundred dollars.

*BEEP*

Harley: Five hundred dollars.

*BEEP*

Harley: So much I've lost count.

*BEEP*

Harley: $44,793.

Bruce: That's a lot of money, Harley.

Harley: Well... I had cancer.

*BEEP*

Harley: I bought a boat.

[hearts4robs]

𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡, 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭, 𝐰𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡🧭

———

———

Fandom. DC - Titans - Netflix series

Pairing. Jason Todd x batsib!reader(gender-neutral)

Genre. fluff/soft/sfw🍊(comedy?)

Word count. 748

Warnings. Cursing, (sibling🤞)belittling

Req. this was not requested :)

Summary. Jason and you were patrolling. When Jason asks you to head west, explaining he’ll meet you there, he realises that despite you being a hardcore vigilante, you’re not the brightest.

Notes. I saw this prompt somewhere and Jason just seems like the type to shamelessly judge you for this. This is not read through and checked for mistakes😛

———

It was approaching lunch and Jason wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. He was in his Robin suit, you in your own vigilante suit as the two of you casually stroll down the street. Jason’s stomach growls loudly and he mutters something about shoving food down his throat. Sounds like those creeped your out, it made your skin crawl. Loud chewing, stomach growls, smacking of lips, oh, God, it made you want to rip your skin off.

“Robin, control your gut or I’ll actually shove a stone down your burger-shaft.” You tell him, my voice laced with slight annoyance and disgust.

“Excuse me? [Your hero name], calm your tits, dude.” He shoots back, a frown on his brow as the two of you continued walking.

“Oh, you are so excused right now!” You immediately bite back, grunting slightly as Jason rolls his eyes at you. He stops in his tracks, staring at a fast food restaurant. It was calling his name.

Jason…

Jason.

Jason.

Jason!

Jason!!!

You stop as soon as you notice Jason wasn’t walking right beside you. The few seconds it takes you to turn around allows your body to panic for a brief moment before I recognise Jason’s cape from his Robin uniform. He was staring at the fast food restaurant.

“Uhm-,” he gulps, licking his lips as he looks between you and the resultants door. “I’ll be right with you, as soon as I get this burger.” He says, a sarcastic and apologetic grin on his lips as his feet drag him towards the door, like he was waiting for your approval.

You approach him, a bit dumbfounded as Jason sends you pleading eyes.

“Just head west! I’ll be right with you!” Jason says, his stomach growling again. You pull an uncomfortable grimace before you realise that you had no fucking idea which way west was. Jason seems to notice how your face drops, your eyes flickering in confusion.

“What? What-what’s the problem, huh?” He asks, walking to you. It almost pained him to step away from the door to the restaurant. You shake your head, trying to play off your own embarrassment, a hot flush creeping up your neck.

“Nothing! Nothings wrong-, I, uh, I’ll se you.” You say before you waist for Jason to turn around. Jason squints his eyes at you slightly before he head for the restaurant again. You stare a bit around before you decide that you could just take the chance. So you start walking towards your left, finding that most logical somehow.

Jason stops before walking in, watching you head to your left. He scoffs out a laugh.

“Where the fuck are you headed, [your hero name]?” He asks, grinning widely in a playfully grin, confusion lazing his tone.

You press your lips together, an embarrassed blush clawing its way up the back of your neck, spreading onto your cheeks as you turn on your heel, your eyes meeting his. “Uuh..” You try to find your words, searching frantically.

“This isn’t west?” You ask, tilting your head slightly as your gut twists with embarrassment. Jason laughs out loud as he walks to you, a mocking frown on his brow.

“You don’t know your west and east?” Jason asks, partly in disbelief as your face drops slightly, annoyance bubbling as Jason taunts you. “North?” He asks, a shit eating grin on his face. You slowly raise your index finger, pointing up towards the sky as a pathetic guess.

Jason can’t help but fold over in a fit of laughter, hand clutching at his stomach as he laughs at you. You roll your eyes, smacking his head as you start walking in spite.

“Yeah yeah, terribly funny.” You grunt as Jason continues his laughter. He gasps in a breath before he runs up beside you. He’s still panting from his fit of laughter as you sulk, an annoyed frown on your brow.

“Left and right?” Jason asks, a hint of hope for his stupid sibling in his eyes. You turn your head for a second before looking at your hands. You side eye him for a short moment, both of you still walking as you fold your fingers, leaving your thump and index up. Your raise your left hand.

“This one-“ Jason can’t help but cut you off in a laugh, tears of amusement rising in his eyes as he laughs. “My fucking god, you’re an idiot!” Jason exclaims at you again, trying to control his loud laughter.

[dcmeme]

So one of my skits is going to feature the Batfam during the pandemic

It was going to feature someone trying to break out of the manor but then I realized…There’s Tim Drake…

The world is under quarantine…

And he has no spleen….

Bro is freaking out meanwhile Damian pretends to cough anytime he sees him walk by and Bernard tries to sneak in but Jason goes nuts on him for trying to ‘get down with the sickness’.

Stephanie is texting him from her apartment while Dick freaks out and starts disinfecting… everything…

Alfred is old so Bruce basically screams at everyone to do their own shit and walk the opposite direction of the man if they haven’t gotten tested yet.

Talia starts arguing with Bruce that Damian would be safer from COVID if he stayed with her in the mountains and the only reason Damian won’t leave is because she won’t let him bring all however many of his animals.

Selena turns into an alcoholic in the basement and gets mad at Bruce for talking to the mother of his youngest son but then remembers she can get drinks and never full signed the prenup so it’s fine.

Meanwhile Jason contemplates if he rather have the disease or spend another day in this house with these people.

[confused-wanderer]

So- uh.. Batman started journaling days when he adopted Robin because he had no idea how to handle a kid-let alone a murderous one- and was trying to note down important information like what the child likes and doesn’t, what triggers them etc etc.

He also maintains a separate series detailing their interactions with villains and notes on if the child should be allowed near the villain and vice versa along with rules to implement with children and procedures to follow in case of their meeting.

Damian has five volumes written after him, which still continue to this day. Tim’s had fifty, Stephanie’s had twenty, Jason’s had eighty nine. But Dick? Dick has a hundred and twenty, atleast fourth of those written within his first month as robin. Why?

Exhibit 1

Batman: Ivy, listen to me-

Ivy: NO Batman! They’re destroying ecosystems, hunting endangered species, poisoning the rivers and-

Robin!dick *eyes in shock* : Is this true Batman?

Batman: .. yes

Robin!dick: oh..so why aren’t we helping Miss Evie?

Ivy:

Batman:

Batman: uh..because she’s breaking the law

Robin!dick *crossing his arms* : But didn’t you say the system is flawed? And how sometimes matters need to be taken into your own hands?

Batman: Hold on-

Robin!dick: Come to think of it, is what we’re doing legal? You steal police information and beat up thugs. If you’re doing it to save lives, so is she!

Ivy *enjoying watching this stubborn child making batman sweat as he tries to argue and eventually agrees to help Ivy in a better way, giving Dick a flower when he leaves*

Bruce knows that Dick would absolutely not mind sabotaging factories or blowing up shit with a supervillain. All he needs is a good reason.

Exhibit 2

Riddler: Aha! Now.. riddle me this-

Robin!dick: .. Why are you so ugly?

Riddler: ..wha-

Robin!dick: And are you lonely because there are better ways to find friends.

Hours of insulting later

Robin!dick; If you’re so smart, tell me this: What animal roars when threatened, laughs when hungry and burrows underneath for the entire year, very dangerous to humans but a herbivore and tiny?

Riddler:

Riddler: * a few hours later, on his knees after complying with every one of batman’s demands, going hysterical and pulling out his hair while rocking back and forth*

Batman *getting increasingly concerned* Robin tell him

Robin!dick: Nope! *walks away*

Riddler spent fifty days in Arkham. The riddle still haunts him to this day. Dick doesn’t know the answer either.

Exhibit 3

Penguin *appears*

Gremlin Dick who’s been waiting to kick the shit out of someone: GOLLY BATMAN LOOK A PIÑATA!

Batman *running after Dick before he murders Penguin*

This is why none of the villains bat an eye at the bat kids antics anymore. And whatever they do, they thank their lucky stars they’re not as bad as the first one was.

[bibibusinessman]

[shyjusticewarrior]

DC Comics Incorrect Quotes Pt 208

Harley: I've been doing this thing where I get drunk and go to the military recruitment center by my apartment and waste their time.

[Day one]

Harley: Put me in, coach!

Recruiter: You gotta come back sober, ma'am.

[Day two]

Recruiter: Why do you wanna join the military?

Harley: I just saw the doctor and I got diagnosed with this thing called "insatiable bloodlust."

Recruiter: You can't say that to us.

Harley: Why not?

Recruiter: You can't join the military if you only wanna kill people.

Harley: That's interesting. What do you think you're for?

[Day three]

Recruiters: *lock her out*

Harley: *leaves and comes back with Barbara*

Barbara, from her chair: Honor isn't worth this!

[ghost-bxrd]

Jason opens his mouth to retort when his phone starts ringing.

And not any kind of ringing, no. It’s the fucking Spooky-Scary-Skeletons song.

This is a goddamn nightmare. He should have stayed in bed.

He has exactly two options.

One, not pick up.

Which would be a good option, the best option, if it were anybody else. Because Jason knows the fucker isn’t above trying to ring up the manor itself if he feels slighted.

Two, pick up. And suffer the most awkward birthday congratulations since… well, last year.

Jason glares at each and every curious Bat watching him from the sofa as he excuses himself and heads into the hall, pressing the green button with a long suffering sigh.

“What?”

“It has come to my attention that you have not yet contacted my daughter for your name day well wishes.“

Jason thunks his head against the wall.

“I’m busy.”

“I am aware,” Ra’s says smoothly, and Jason just knows the bastard is stirring his sinfully expensive blend of tea with some golden spoon, “And yet this has not stopped you before.”

“Is there a point to this call?”

“Yes. Do make sure to call my daughter soon. She is being quite insufferable.”

Righteous indignation rises inside Jason like hot coals.

“She isn’t—“

“She has disposed of three potential tutors since this morning,” Ra’s cuts him off, and Jason’s mouth snaps shut, “Yes, I do consider this to be insufferable. And your brother has brought it to my attention that the likely cause of her irritability is your lack of communication.”

“I’m busy.” Jason repeats, but it sounds petulant even to his own ears, “Look, I’ll call her as soon as I get out of here, ok?”

“Make sure that you do. Finding instructors is a difficult enough task without my daughter culling half their numbers before they even stepped across the threshold.”

“Maybe mom wouldn’t have to dispose of them if they were skilled enough to evade her.”

“Oh, some of them were,” Ra’s says drily, “But it proved to be for naught when she decided the your brother’s pets hadn’t had enough sustenance for the day.”

…so, maybe Jason should have called.

— silly little outtake of chpt X of What You’re Longing For (you claim to abhor)

[slightly-depressed-sloth]

Little fandom vent; sometimes I get annoyed at the way fandom reduces Damian down to stabby child who only cares about himself and does murder. Like yeah while I get fandom almost always reduces characters down to their funniest or snappiest traits Damian's just doesn't make sense.

Like his whole character is about how much he DOESNT want to be those things.

Damian cares so so so much about other people he just struggles to express it bc it takes a lot for him to trust someone enough to believe they're not going to pull the rug out from under him or betray him somehow. If he didn't care about other people he wouldn't have spent months trying to find Martha's pearls in the sewer, risking his life bc there was a bounty on his head at this point and further ruining his image with Bruce (who thought Damian was just sneaking off and putting himself in danger). He wouldn't have denounced the league and everything he knew to protect a man he'd met less than a year ago. He wouldn't have purposely failed a timed test as Robin to get across the city as fast as possible (a test that would've allowed him to go out alone as Robin and given him more independence one of things Damian values very highly) instead he went over the allowed time by more than 10 hours BC he helped old women with their shopping and walked women home after they were robbed and he sat with a man he saw crying in his apartment for more than 2 hours just having tea with him. I could go on and on about all the genuinely kind things he does bc Damian's empathy and kindness is one of his defining traits actually.

And yeah he used to kill people and he was more prone to violence than the other Robins but he was literally raised in an environment where his worth and by proxy his survival was tied to how well he did murder. I'm pretty sure if you raised any child in an environment where since they were born they were rewarded for killing and violence but punished for showing mercy and told them that it's for the greater good, that they're special and that there's nothing wrong with killing if the ends justify the means they'd end up the same.

Not to mention Damian fights so hard to not be violent bc he doesn't want to be, the people Damian admires most in the world (Dick and Jon) both based their entire personality around Superman (also it's confirmed Supes is his fav justice Leaguer in supersons). Damian wants to be like them so bad and wants to be kind and outgoing and as pacifist as you can get as a vigilante. Damian struggles so much to be that person but it's not as easy as just stopping when you've been conditioned your whole life that killing is the right move and that your worth as a person and the love of those around is dependent on you doing it. He literally keeps a sketch book where he just draws out all the intrusive violent thoughts he gets while fighting villains to get the anger and compulsion out so that he DOESN'T do those things. And Damian feels immensely guilty about all of his past murders which is shown over and over. When he kills no-body (an action he did to protect Bruce) he asks Bruce afterwards how he's supposed to make amends, how he's supposed to live with it.

Which leads me onto the other thing (and hopefully the last cause wow this is getting long) even Damian at his absolute worst only performs extreme violence out of either self defense or logic to him. He doesn't do it out of maliciousness (or at least that isn't the motivating factor). His worst actions were probably in his introduction where he 1) He accosted Alfred and stole the key to exit the batcave 2) Decapitated a villian 3) Attacked Tim

So let's get background on these events from Damian's pov. Damian has never been told who his father is and has to duel his mother every year on his birthday for the chance to find out. And then on his 10th birthday he wins and then that same night he's taken on a plane to go live with this man who he's told about on the plane ride over, then his first impression of him is Bruce fighting a bunch of manbats. His mother says she's leaving him with him indefinitely not telling him when she'll be back. And then this man who he only found out about hours beforehand takes him on another plane to a foreign country where he knows no-one and he finds out his father has other children as well. He's then locked in a small room adjoining a fucking cave full of weapons and told virtually nothing with no-one really talking to him except for them telling him that oh yeah everyone you know and trust is evil and your whole world view is wrong. And then when he yells at Bruce and has what's honestly best described as a temper tantrum (BC oh yeah he was literally 9 years old until a couple hours ago) Bruce in a bid to try and control his anger (since he's not sure how dangerous he is yet) uses league tactics on Damian telling him that he's dishonouring those who taught him. So the literal child whose spent his 10th birthday being flown around the globe to be a dumped in a foreign country with a man he's never met and only knows is a good fighter with a family consisting of an unknown amount of other allies who are similarly trained and then was locked in a room after being told his whole life is a lie might be forgiven for latching onto the only familiar thing here and going 'oh! Now I know how this works'

With the knowledge that Damian definitely decided from this conversation that the bats operate the same as the league it's pretty clear his reasoning is

1) Accosting Alfred and and stealing the key - a) I don't think you'd wanna be locked in a space by a bunch of strangers either no matter how nice the space is b) he probably assumed it was a challenge to see whether he was able to break out and a way they were testing his worth/ability

2) Decapitated a villian - once again assuming this is a test and trying to prove his worth/help his father in the mission to stop crime he was just told about

3) attacked Tim - a) Damian assumes that since Tim is home that he must be the current favourite and it's already known that in the league the way you replace someone is by killing them thus proving you were better than them. B) in the league if you were not the favourite/the best you were disposable c) the only way Damian knows how to earn/receive love is by performing violence, it's pretty reasonable that a 10 year old would try to go above and beyond to earn their new father's love (especially for a child like Damian whose always looking for that unconditional love he's been denied)

From Damian's perspective here he's being the best son anyone could want, he's doing the most past the point he'd be expected to and only being met with anger and disgust. Not to mention that from his view he's literally ensuring his safety since once again in the league Damian was one of the only people whose safety was ensured by proxy of him being the heir/favourite, we literally see them kill other leaguers as part of training.

Like this isn't to excuse what he did or say it's right but it is to point out that it WAS right from Damian's point of view and that he doesn't do what he does out of malice or blood thirst he's just a small child who quite literally didn't know any better.

(also him being mean is similarly a self defense thing, it's fairly common in abused kids. It's the logic of you can't hurt me if I hurt you first/you can't hurt me if I don't let you get close enough)

[reaperlight]

Dinah, [in line at a coffeeshop]: Hi, can I get a venti vanilla latte with uhhhh, seven shots of espresso?

Frances: Jesus Christ, Dinah. Just do cocaine.

[roxineedstosleep]

Wonderbat Vs Superbat.

I have a weird headcanon inside my head, from when Jason was still quite young and showed a certain adorable fanaticism towards Diana.

Like, I imagine Jason, in Crime Valley, always looking at the TV shop windows, every time Wonder Women showed up in a fight; a little Jason who screamed for joy, along with other kids and some adults, every time Diana landed a blow or won the fight with the villain of the day.

Then, when Bruce adopts him, and he starts his life as Robin… he didn't think much of the fact that Batman probably knows Wonder Woman. Let alone the fact that Robin, on special occasions (aka, Alfred has his movie night off), can go to the League base.

And so, Jason nearly goes into cardiac arrest from the excitement of seeing his idol, eating donuts and scolding his dad for making such a risky decision last time… Then he looks down and sees her smile as she notices he's there.

And she gets even more excited to see that her dad is totally comfortable with her around. That he doesn't put up roadblocks or walls like he does with other heroes and people. Even making "boring people jokes."

So, totally convinced, especially after watching several romantic comedy movies, that it's his duty as a son to unite his father with the love of his life. But, when he asks Dick for help, he mentions that B and BigBlue already had something.

Jason doesn't believe him, because he knows his big brother is a big Superman fan, and just wants to have a cool alien stepfather. But, not wanting his dad's romance to turn into a love triangle (because he's his least favorite trope) he decides to clear his doubts with Clark anyway.

And something like that would happen:

Baby Jason, looking at Clark: So, you like my dad?

Clark, nervous about having to explain to Jason about "I don't want to ruin our friendship": I consider him a good friend Jaylad…. Best friend?

Jason: Sure? just a friend?

Clark: Uh… yeah.

Jason, pulling out a notebook full of scraps from single women's magazines: If that's the case…. Can you help me set up a date with my dad and Wonder Woman? I want her to be my new mum.

Clark, completely defeated by a 9-year-old: What?

Jason: Yeah, I can't do this all by myself. I'm little Sups. And if you claim to be my dad's best friend, that means you can help me plan their first date.

Clark: Eh?-

Jason: It's good to know I can count on you, my brother was insisting that you and Dad had a thing and-

Jason couldn't continue, because Clark - actually surprisingly - had fainted upon hearing that he had a chance with Bruce.

So now, Dick tries to help Clark on the sly about how to win over his father; while Jason, left without adult help, decides to set his plan in motion on his little own.

... and

So that in the end, everything goes out the window.

Then, in a meeting between the family, Bruce confesses that he likes both of them, and that they have been in a poly relationship for a long time, but that he didn't know how to tell them.

And all this time, Clark and Diana didn't know how to explain to their partner's children that there was no need to set them up on dates.