gothamite-rambler - Tumblr blog

[gothamite-rambler]

Stephanie's job at low tier cafe (not Starbucks).

Stephanie: Order for Summer.

Carrie (Karen): Oh is that mine?

Stephanie (clearing her throat): Order for SUMMER!

Carrie: Is that mine?

Stephanie: Summer, iced pumpkin latte, you ordered an Americano, hot. Do you think this is yours?

Carrie: Okay you don't have to be rude.

Stephanie hands Summer her coffee not responding.

Carrie: When will my coffee be ready?

Stephanie: You're fourth on the list so... Not sure.

Stephanie grabs a mocha cappuccino already expecting what is about to happen.

Stephanie: Ashley.

Carrie: You might've gotten my name-

Stephanie: Mocha, cappuccino, soy milk, hot... Ashley!

With that she hands the cup to Ashley.

Carrie: Why do you have to be so snippy with me everytime I come here?

Stephanie (dryly): You don't have to forget your name everytime you order an Americano, but you do... Every. Time.

Carrie (snapping her fingers): Just speed it up, barista. I don't have all day.

Stephanie (burying her rage): You know what I will make your Americano for you.

Carrie: Finally.

Stephanie gets the worker who has begun making the Americano and Stephanie heads to the back to get the ground decaf espresso and gleefully makes the Americano. She hands the coffee to Carrie. The haughty woman smiles curtly, leaving without giving a tip.

Stephanie (tight smile and a hushed whispsr): Enjoy that decaf Americano.

[gothamite-rambler]

A cute little moment when Jason at 12 and Bruce (age unknown) having a good day together.

Jason (12): Okay, you smear the peanut butter on the graham cracker.

Bruce follows the step.

Jason: Then you stick another on top.

Bruce: Okay. What's next?

Jason: Eat it.

Jason takes a bite and eats the graham cracker sandwich with a smile. Bruce reluctantly takes a bite and even though he's not a big fan of graham crackers, he enjoys the mashup.

Bruce: I don't hate this.

Jason: It's got a good crunch. Much better than then bread and peanut butter.

Bruce: Why do you eat this exactly?

Jason: I was raised in a poor drug addicts house, this was closest thing I had to a snack.

Bruce: Oh... Well it's a creative idea as well.

Jason: Aww thanks, you ready for the milk part?

Bruce: Yup, let me guess we dip this graham cracker sandwich in the milk?

Jason (nodding): Dip, don't drop it in like with the Oreos.

Jason chuckles dipping his sandwich in the milk. Bruce smiles, chuckling softly as he dipped his graham sandwich in.

[gothamite-rambler]

Batman: I get it you all resent your fathers- Zatanna: I'm don't ! I fuckin' love my dad. My dad's fuckin' awesome. Jason: Didn't he turn a man into a pile of sludge once? Zatanna: Oh yeah, the guy was a creep who tried to seduce me when I was 16 and after I made it very clear I was not interested... Fuckin' love my dad! Jason: I- I never had that with my dads! Batman leaves quickly before Jason can yell at him.

[gothamite-rambler]

Bruce meeting his son: Damian. This is my headcanon and a comedic spin on the meet up. I just love the trope of "I have a child?!" Don't worry, Bruce loves his son, it's just a bit of a shock he wasn't rendered impotent from all his excursions as Batman.

Pt 1

Talia: Bruce, this is Damian. Damian, this is Bruce.

Damian holds out his hand for a handshake. Bruce obliges, but is unsure why he was being introduced to the young child.

Damian (confused): Why is he dressed like a bat?

Talia (mock sweetness): It's a thing he does.

Bruce (offended): Okay you don't have to talk about me in front of him. Why are you showing me this child?

Jason behind Bruce covers his mouth, chuckling.

Talia: He's my son.

Dick (instant realization): He's your son? That is your son? Which means... Oh wow. Wow!

Dick laughs, but stops when Bruce stares at him confused. He turns back to Talia and Damian, confused.

Damian (waving): Hello.

Bruce: Hi... And Talia?

Dick: Oh... Oh you don't get it?

Jason: He doesn't get it. Hahahaha!

Talia: Bruce, I'm going to hold your hand when I say this.

Talia takes Bruce's glove hand. Ra Al Ghul walks over holding up a camera to record the exchange.

Dick and Jason stood by waiting to see how Talia would word her reveal.

Talia: He is my son... And he is your son.

Bruce blinks not responding. He heard what she said but he was not sure what to say himself.

Damian (confused): The guy in a giant bat suit is my father? This is the Bruce Wayne?

Damian taps his chin.

Damian: Not the craziest thing I've had to deal with.

Talia: Bruce, you going to say something?

Dick: Bruce?

Bruce (gulps): ...

Jason claps while laughing.

Jason: This is great. I am so glad I got to be here today for this.

Bruce (finally speaking): I'm sorry. I hallucinated that you said the little boy standing in front of me is my... son.

Talia (repeating herself): Bruce, he is your son.

Bruce (disbelief): No he's not.

Jason (enjoying this): There's the denial.

Talia (exasperated): Here we go again, yes he is.

Bruce (panicked): No... no he's not. I can't have kids, my swimmers are broken.

Damian: Swimmers?

Talia covers Damian's ears.

Talia: They most certainly are not.

Dick: You can have kids?

Jason: I know right!

Bruce: He's not... I'm not... The kid is not my son.

Talia (uncovering Damian's ears): Yes he is! I got a DNA test done! He is your child. I have your blood from a... Not important and he is yours! The baby is yours!

Damian: I'm 8.

Dick (holding back his laughter): Oh God.

Jason walks around laughing while clapping again.

Ra's Al Ghul (continuing to record the reaction): She unfortunately speaks the truth. I'm disappointed you share DNA with him, but we have the test. He's... yours.

Damian: The guy dressed as a bat is my father? I'm sorry to repeat myself, but he's dressed like a bat.

Ra (Regrettably): I know. I know.

Dick: Bruce, say something other than, "No he's not." Or "He's not mine."

Bruce stands stunned and silent. His oldest son walks over to him and waves his hand across the man's face.

Dick: Oh he's actually speechless.

Talia (sighing): To be expected. Jason I'll send you a video of his reaction like we discussed.

Jason: Thank you.

Dick: You knew?!

Jason (laughing): For 8 years! Yes!

Dick: Why didn't you say anything?

Jason: I was fucking mad at him and wanted revenge and this... This is the best revenge.

Dick: I'll deal with you in a second. Bruce, are you with us?

Bruce faints, falling backwards. Damian looks down at the man in a batsuit.

Damian: I'm not sure I want him to be my father.

Ra (ending the recording): I agree with you child, but it is what it is.

He walks off with the camera.

Ra: I'm going to burn this on to a DVD and keep a copy.

Talia (frustrated): You do that father.

Dick walks over to Damian, stepping over Bruce.

Dick: Um, Bruce is just a bit shocked he actually can have kids without adopting them. He's a good guy though.

Damian: Are you sure about that? Jason told me he was 'not bad' I'm not really seeing that.

Dick glares at Jason. Jason shrugs with a smile. Dick turns back to Damian.

Damian lightly kicks his father's leg, but all the man can do is twitch his leg while still unconscious.

Dick: Yeah, he's an amazing crime fighter and usually can compose himself. I'm Dick, by the way guess we're brothers.

Damian: That's your legal name?

Dick (upset, but hiding it): My birth name is Richard Grayson.

Damian: Why do you go by-

Talia and Jason: Don't ask.

Dick groans annoyed then holds out his hand. Damian shakes his hand to show respect, but remains perplexed by his strange new family and that was saying a lot.

[gothamite-rambler]

Kate Kane and Bruce Wayne sit in the Batcave researching cases. Well Bruce is Kate is listening to music and singing loudly and purposely off pitch.

Kate (singing): 🎵 I wOn' T CrY fOr yoU. I will crucify the things you dO-Do-do! 🎵

Bruce glares at her for a second then returns to his computer when Kate bobs her to the music silently.

Kate (singing the last note with her eyes closed): Oh-oH-Oh-OH- Ow!

Bruce tossed a large book at her, hitting her in the face. Kate nearly falls out of her seat and has to take a moment to compose herself.

Kate: Asshole!

Bruce (calm): Sing better

Kate (offended): I sing like an angel.

Bruce (muttering): A fallen angel kicked out of heaven.

Kate smirked and tossed the book back at Bruce knocking him to the ground.

Kate: Whoops forgot to shout dodge.

Bruce growls in anger.

Kate: Throw better.

[gothamite-rambler]

Excerpt from my upcoming batman fanfic :) where Jason and his brother discuss the slow build up of them becoming a family again

Batman: Who’s that over there? Nightwing turns around to see Red Hood standing a few feet away from him. Jason: Hiiiii! Nightwing: That’s Jason… We’re cool now. Jason: Heeey! Nightwing: He’s neat for a brother. Batman: He’s… You’re on good terms? Nightwing: Well… Jason are we on good terms? Jason: …Eh, 50/50. Nightwing: 50/50 there you go. Took sometime, but we’ve been hanging out and he’s a good kid so far. He’s neat. Jason I said you’re neat. Jason: …Aww thanks man! Batman: The man who killed and tried to kill Joker and attacked you… Is neat?!

Nightwing: Yup, you adopted an 8 year old who watched his parents die in the circus. My brother is a mercenary who likes reading classic literature and was brought back from the dead by the Ghul’s tossing him in the Lazarus pit. Jason: Did you tell him about the pit?! Nightwing: Yes! Jason: Nice. Nightwing: He wanted to come with me for the mission. He promised he won’t kill anyone. Right Jason, you won’t kill anyone? Jason: Just a pew pew to the non-kill body parts. Yeah. Nightwing: Non-lethal shots. Jason is busy spinning his gun around like a child and dancing ready for the mission. Batman: He’s not coming with us. Nightwing: He said you can’t come! Jason: But it’s been years, we can laugh at the time he threw a batarang at my neck. I’m cool with it! I got a cool scar! Nightwing: See he’s cool with it, he has a cool scar. Batman: Stop repeating what he says! Jason: I’m going to come over now! Batman: Don’t walk over here. Don’t walk over here. Jason walks over and stands next to Nightwing. Jason: All right, let’s go. Batman: Nope. I’m taking Robin and were doing this alone. Jason: Oh is it still Tim, please be Tim. Nightwing: You do not like that kid. It’s like a hateship with you too. Jason: Yeah I like messing with him. Jason follows Batman to the batmobile and looks through the front passenger window then opens the door and yanks Tim (as Red Robin out of the car). Jason: Your mom says hi. Tim growls and attempts to swipe at Jason, but Batman holds him back. Tim: Let me at him! You and me! I will wreck your shit! Batman: Let it go! Tim: Come on! I will beat your ass! Jason: Hey man you ain’t got to make empty promises I know you’re lying! Nightwing: Jason. Jason: I’m done. I’ll be waiting in the car. This was fun. Jason laughs walking back to the car. Nightwing walks over to Batman and Tim and pats Tim on the head. Nightwing: He’s easy going and nicer. Tim glares at Nightwing then crosses his arms angry. Nightwing: I’m not doing this with you two he is trying to go on the sort of straight and narrow and he offered to drive so that helps because my car is in the shop. This was the only way that I could bring him since you’re being a stubborn mule. How’s that broken nose healing by the way? Batman: How’s yours? Nightwing: Didn’t break it you can’t break perfection. Sorry. Tim chuckles as Batman holds him. Batman groaned dropping the teen. Nightwing: After he helped get you to the hospital you promised you’d hear him out… And then never showed up to the meeting. I know how you are, being Batman is your job. You will talk during this fucking job if I have to tie you both up and trap you in a fucking saw-type warehouse. Okay? I am at my limit! Starfire notices and that has made the bedroom difficult, you two are going to talk and make up! Got it! Batman: I- Nightwing: GOT IT! Batman: Okay, when this plan fails, just get ready to say I’m right. Batman walks off. Tim stands up, wiping dirt off his suit. Tim: I’m not mad at you Nightwing. I hate Jason currently, but I trust your word implicitly. Nightwing: Thanks Tim that’s why I like you. Tim: Awesome. Batman: Robin, bring your ass! Tim: I gotta go, we’ll meet you there. Nightwing: Gotcha. Nightwing heads back to his as Jason is playing Death Metal. Jason: Ready? Nightwing: Yeah he said you can go and that “when the plan fails I better get ready to say he was right”. Jason: Expected. Seat belts on, Dickie. I’m going to be driving fast. Nightwing (clicking on seatbelt): Expected.

[gothamite-rambler]

Olive dancing:

Bruce: At least nothing is burning.

Olive starting the campfire.

Jason: At least she's not burning anything inside your house.

Olive: All right, let's get the s'mores started. Alfred, you ever made a s'more?

Alfred: What is a bloody s'more?

Olive: What's a s'more?! Let's get you one!

Olive runs into the manor, her foot steps leaving scorch marks.

Jason: She really is embracing the Calamity aspect of her name. Right Bruce?

Bruce states angrily at the scorch marks he has to fix again.

[gothamite-rambler]

Power Girl: Hey boys, I need a date tonight. Who wants to go?

Dick, Wally, and Roy all volunteer.

Power Girl: Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.

Dick: Roy has a kid, so automatically out.

Roy: What? No that doesn't count.

Wally: He's a former-

Roy: I will shoot you with every arrow I have with me right now and I will not miss, if you finish that fucking sentence. Dick, aren't you with Kori?!

Dick: Open relationship, bitch.

Roy: Wally?

Wally: She'll understand, I have a freebie.

Roy and Dick: No you fucking don't!

Wally: Whatever she can handle me not you two chumps!

Power Girl, enjoying this: Hmm... This is tough.

Dick: You choose then which one of us is most attractive to you?

Power girl, taps her chin: Hm... what great options.

Jason Todd walks into the room and past Power Girl.

Jason: Hey.

He sits down on a couch, breathing heavy.

Jason: Sorry I'm late.

Power Girl: Hello Jason!

Power Girl shoves the other men out of the way and runs over to Jason.

Power Girl: Oh my, wow! You got hotter since we last met.

Jason (caught off guard): Oh... Thank you.

Roy: No! No! He's not interested. Jason, we're trying to get a date with Power Girl. Leave.

Jason breathes heavily, holding his head down. Power Girl's eye twitches from the hotness!

Jason: Nah, I'm not doing that I just came back from the gym. I want to relax.

Jason removes his jacket and lays back on the couch.

Power Girl, making her decision: He'll be back at midnight!

Power Girl yanks Jason by the arm and takes him with her.

Jason: Kay guess I'm going with her!

Dick: That isn't fair! Now I'm mad and grossed out.

----------------------------------- ---The next day--- Jason Todd groggily made his way to his apartment door after his strange date with Power Girl that he did not want to go on. He entered his apartment, locking the three locks. He hears the shower turn off in his bathroom. Jason: Hello? Rose Wilson: It's me. Jason: Hm... why are you using my shower? Rose: The plumbing at my place is awful, I brought my own soap, don't worry. Jason smiles and walks over to the bathroom as Rose opens the door a towel wrapped around her body. Rose: Hi. Jason kisses Rose on the lips. Jason: Hi. Rose: Where have you been all night, I came over for sex and you weren't around. Jason: Going to be honest, Power Girl dragged me out for a date, I had sex with her, it was kind of mediocre. Are you mad? I'm not freaking sure what we are, but I don't want to hurt you. Rose: Aww, you're fine. We're not a couple-couple, just having fun together. I'm just glad you told me. Will you be seeing her again? Jason: Nope, nope, nope. Rose laughed walking past Jason and using her body towel to dry her hair. Rose: Well, since you're back now, want to have sex? Jason: Yes, after last night, I'd rather be with you. Rose: You're such a cheese ball. Jason: You said cheese ball. Rose smiles playfully then kisses Jason, clutching his hair and he kisses her back, happy to be close to her.

[gothamite-rambler]

That eel, like many animals must look at us and think "They thought I was cute? ...Awww I feel so special!"

I was walking on a rather remote beach when I came upon this Whip eel drying up in the sun. These are intertidal eels that can actually handle themselves out of water for a bit, but it’s not normal for them to be fully exposed in direct sunlight like this. The tide was at least six hours from coming in and I felt like this eel was in distress, so I made the decision to dig him out and return to the ocean. His body was too delicate to be simply pulled from the hole without injury, so I got to digging.

This endeavor took about 40 minutes as the eel was quite long and difficult to excavate. Also had to continually refill my temporary eel pond to keep him from drying out entirely while I worked.

If you are an eel aficionado like myself, please enjoy this silly little video of the relocation process set to some jaunty royalty-free disco music.

[gothamite-rambler]

The reason why the Wayne sisters don't have always have their friends around their brothers (fun script and in this headcanon Stephanie is like family because I don't think Bruce ever adopted her. This will (kinda) be expanded in a fanfic soon. Love ya batfam:

Barbara rolls into her apartment with her friend and coworker April.

Barbara: I'm glad you came over, the finance department has been going crazy with-

Dick Grayson walks out of the guest room in nothing but his boxer briefs.

Dick: Hey Barbara and... Her friend.

April's mouth drops open when Dick smirks at her and waves she has to look away while blushing..

Barbara (covering her eyes): Ah, I told you to stop walking around in your underwear when you're staying with me!

Dick shrugs fanning himself.

Dick: I'm sorry, your AC is off. You've seen me with less clothes on.

Barbara (grossed out): Don't remind me, God those days. Open a window or something, not walk around in your briefs.

Dick: I mean, you're the only one complaining.

Barbara: I have a guest who would disagree, right April?

April (walking over to Dick and holding her hand out): Barb, you get started on the... Whatever I came over for while me and this... Adonis. Will talk. 

Dick: Sure, the name is Dick by the way.

He shakes her hand. 

April: Yes it is.

Barbara: Dick when is Kori dropping by?!

Dick: She's on a trip, but I've told you this, she's told you this, we have a very, very open relationship.  

April: That is all I needed to hear, but I understand if you don't want to talk to someone like me. 

Dick: I’m free for you.

April: Boy, stop… boy you so crazy. 

April takes the man to the couch and they chat and flirt while Barbara rolls past them to her office.

Barbara (frustrated): Great you guys waste time. I’ll start the paperwork. Definitely felt like doing this alone.

Two hours later Barbara leaves her room for a drink and finds April and Dick naked on her couch.

Barbara: God! Why my couch?!

Dick: Sorry, sorry, we'll go to the guest room.

Dick carries a giggling April to the guest room as Barbara pinches the bridge of her nose trying to block the mental images out of her head.

Barbara: Yup. Every time, maybe I should've kept screwing him then he wouldn't bang women on my new sofa!

Barbara rolls to the kitchen, pondering this option, but shakes her head.

Barbara: Eh.... nah not my type anymore.

Stephanie, Cassie Sandsmark, and Konnor Kent stand outside the Megaplex theater to see a movie.

Stephanie: You guys are going to love my brother.

Cassie: Which one again?

Stephanie: Tim Drake. He's my age, we dated at first, but broke up so now we're like siblings. Yup.

Konnor looks at Cassie confused.

Cassie (shrugging): I stopped questioning their family dynamic a long time ago.

Stephanie: Oh stop it, Tim is super cool. He should've been here by now.

Tim rushes to the group, stopping when he gets to them and catching his breath.

Tim: I'm late… sorry. I got held up... It's a long story. Um, hi I'm Tim.

Cassie: Sup.

Kon looks Tim up and down. 

Kon: You're cute.

Tim: You are too. I like your top. 

Kon: I like yours, honestly I like a lot about your appearance. You into men? 

Tim: Yup.

Kon: Then this works for me, let's sit together.

Kon shoves Stephanie out the way and loops his arm through Tim's as the two walk into the theater.

Stephanie: Did he just take my brother on a date?

Cassie: Oh yeah, Kon took his shot and won. 

Stephanie: Oh please, Tim definitely is the one who took the shot. Although I would’ve appreciated it if he did not do that again!

Tim glances at Stephanie and shrugs with a smile.

...

Cassandra Cain (in Orphan suit) and Rose Wilson are together to stop a drug bust, but Cass invited Jason to help.

Rose: This "brother" of yours better not be wasting my time.

Cass: He's won't. Sorry Nightwing couldn't make it, but trust me this guy is the better option. He’s a good fighter, amazing marksman, and has dealt with drug dealers for a long time. You can trust him. 

Rose: I doubt this team up, so hard.

Jason, behind the two women: Are you talking about me?

Rose glances behind her, but quickly spins around. Cass casually turns. Jason is wearing his alternative hero suit.

Rose (awestruck): God damn!

Jason (already knowing what she's looking): Thank you. 

Rose: You're the … brother?

Jason: Yup, and you're Rose Wilson.

Rose walks closer to Jason.

Rose: Please, you don't have to call me my full name, Rose is just fine.

Rose runs her hand over Jason's chest.

Jason (flirtatiously): Nice to meet you, Rose.

Cass: Um, Rose, Jason, you guys good?

Rose: Cass, go the other way and um... Keep watch, over there. Jace and I need to chat.

Cass: What will you two be doing?

Jason: Talking, we have to get to know each other.

Jason takes Rose's hand.

Rose: Mm, yes. Exactly. 

Cass: Oh... Okay. You sure you don't want to stick together? Guys?

Rose and Jason have already walked away.

Rose: Tell me more about yourself. 

Jason: Where do I start?

Jason runs his fingers through his hands as Rose smiles. Cass walks away grumbling.

Cass: What? Hmph, Barbara wasn't kidding, it's just Jason. 

[gothamite-rambler]

Batman: Who's that over there?

Nightwing turns around to see Red Hood standing a few feet away from him.

Jason: Hiiiii!

Nightwing: That's Jason... We're cool now.

Jason: Heeey!

Nightwing: He's neat for a brother.

Batman: He's... You're on good terms?

Nightwing: Well... Jason are we on good terms?

Jason: ...Eh, 50/50.

Nightwing: 50/50 there you go. Took sometime, but we've been hanging out and he's a good kid so far. He's neat. Jason I said you're neat.

Jason: Aww... thanks man!

Batman: The man who killed and tried to kill Joker and attacked you... Is neat?!

Nightwing: Yup, you adopted an 8 year old who watched his parents die in the circus. My brother is a mercenary who likes reading classic literature and was brought back from the dead by the Ghul's tossing him in the Lazarus pit.

Jason: Did you tell him about the pit?!

Nightwing: Yes!

Jason: Nice.

Nightwing: He wanted to come with me for the mission. He promised he won't kill anyone. Right Jason, you won't kill anyone?

Jason: Just a pew pew to the non-kill body parts. Yeah.

Nightwing: Non-lethal shots.

Jason is busy spinning his gun around like a child and dancing ready for the mission.

Batman: He's not coming with us.

Nightwing: He said you can't come!

Jason: But it's been years, we can laugh at the time he threw a batarang at my neck. I'm cool with it! I got a cool scar!

Nightwing: See he's cool with it, he has a cool scar.

Batman: Stop repeating what he says!

Jason: I'm going to come over now!

Batman: Don't walk over here. Don't walk over here.

Jason walks over and stands next to Nightwing.

Jason: All right, let's go.

Batman: Nope. I'm taking Robin and were doing this alone.

Jason: Oh is it still Tim, please be Tim.

Nightwing: You do not like that kid. It's like a hateship with you too.

Jason: Yeah I like messing with him.

Jason follows Batman to the batmobile and looks through the front passenger window then opens the door and yanks Tim (as Red Robin out of the car).

Jason: Your mom says hi.

Tim growls and attempts to swipe at Jason, but Batman holds him back.

Tim: Let me at him! You and me! I will wreck your shit!

Batman: Let it go!

Tim: Come on! I will beat your ass!

Jason: Hey man you ain't got to make empty promises I know you're lying!

Nightwing: Jason.

Jason: I'm done. I'll be waiting in the car. This was fun.

Jason laughs walking back to the car. Nightwing walks over to Batman and Tim and pats Tim on the head.

Nightwing: He's easy going and nicer.

Tim glares at Nightwing then crosses his arms angry.

Nightwing: I'm not doing this with you two he is trying to go on the sort of straight and narrow and he offered to drive so that helps because my car is in the shop. This was the only way that I could bring him since you're being a stubborn mule. How's that broken nose healing by the way?

Batman: How's yours?

Nightwing: Didn't break it you can't break perfection. Sorry.

Tim chuckles as Batman holds him. Batman groaned dropping the teen.

Nightwing: After he helped get you to the hospital you promised you'd hear him out... And then never showed up to the meeting. I know how you are, being Batman is your job. You will talk during this fucking job if I have to tie you both up and trap you in a fucking saw-type warehouse. Okay? I am at my limit! Starfire notices and that has made the bedroom difficult, you two are going to talk and make up! Got it!

Batman: I-

Nightwing: GOT IT!

Batman: Okay, when this plan fails, just get ready to say I'm right.

Batman walks off. Tim stands up, wiping dirt off his suit.

Tim: I'm not mad at you Nightwing. I hate Jason currently, but I trust your word implicitly.

Nightwing: Thanks Tim that's why I like you.

Tim: Awesome.

Batman: Robin, bring your ass!

Tim: I gotta go, we'll meet you there.

Nightwing: Gotcha.

Nightwing heads back to his as Jason is playing Death Metal.

Jason: Ready?

Nightwing: Yeah he said you can go and that "when the plan fails I better get ready to say he was right".

Jason: Expected. Seat belts on, Dickie. I'm going to be driving fast.

Nightwing (clicking on seatbelt): Expected.

[gothamite-rambler]

Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent and other Justice League members watch the boys. The boys season 4 (I have only seen clips so stay with me lol) the oven scene. Diana Prince is on the edge of her seat, eating popcorn. Diana: Holy crap he killed him in the oven! Play the back! Bruce: Okay. Clark: No, don’t- You’re rewinding it. The rewatch that scene and then the… Laser scene. Clark: Come on! He didn’t deserve that. Barry: He mocked the guy when he was a kid and- Clark: We don’t need to recount that. Hal: Oh shit he just crushed his head like a grape! Diana: Rewind that! Bruce: Gotcha.

Clark: All right, Bruce I get it! I get it, you’re trying to justify your contingency plans! I don’t have to watch the rest of this!

Oliver (enjoying the strife): You’re getting real defensive over a TV show. Clark: I am not! I am going to do the thing Homelander doesn’t do. Leave calmly. Diana: Oh he killed all of them! Clark walks over to Diana and knocks the popcorn out of her hand and then leaves in a huff. Diana: Someone is in a mood. Diana snatches Oliver’s popcorn bucket. Oliver: Hey- Diana holds up her fist. Oliver: I’m full anyways. ---------------------- Bruce Wayne watching Invincible and the Batman-morif dies horribly.

Bruce: I'm out.

Bruce stands to leave as Diana laughs. Clark eats popcorn.

Bruce: I'M NOT WATCHING THIS! LOOK! TIRED OF THIS!

Bruce leaves.

Diana: Told you he would react like that.

Clark passes her 20 dollars.

Clark: You okay?

Diana: Totally, because I'd break you if that was us.

Clark: I don't even doubt that.

[gothamite-rambler]

Kite-Man races after Stephanie Brown aka Spoiler.

Kite-Man: Hey, hey, can you help me with something?

Stephanie, pinching the bridge of her nose: I am busy!

Kite-Man: Come on, please. You're my rival.

Stephanie, yelling: I'm not your freaking rival!

Kite-Man: You're silly with the jokes. Seriously though, I need your help. Please! After this I can rob a corner store and we do our usual back and forth. Not today though, super busy.

Stephanie, left eye twitching: Oh God, you're a part of my rogues gallery at this point. Frick it, sure what do you need?

Kite-Man: Sweet, okay I am proposing to my girlfriend, but I can't figure out what ring she'll like. I'm thinking about something gold, but like I want it to-

Stephanie: You're asking me... For ring advice?!

Stephanie tenses up and then frowns in embarrassment when she hears Barbara cackling through her communication device.

Stephanie: I'm never going to live this down.

Kite-Man: You're a woman... I'm assuming, no judgement, but you and I we're kind of cool so I came to you for help. Come on, Spoiler I love this woman. She means the world to me and I actually saved up money legally for this... I own a bar of sorts. I want this proposal to be special.

Stephanie, groans her shoulders slumping: Batman is going to crucify me for doing this and letting you go, but the gold band is a good start, as for the diamond make it one that is shaped like a flower. Don't break or rob the bank for the ring. When you do the proposal, make it sincere, don't half-ass it. Show her that you're ready for this commitment.

Kite-Man: That's great advice, thanks rival. I will personally thank you at our wedding.

Stephanie, frustrated: Good Lord, don't do that.

Kite-Man, patting the girl on the back: You're right, keep it secret. I'll see you in a few days for the robbery?

Stephanie, annoyed: Yeah.

Kite-Man: All right, Kite-Man out! Peace.

With that Kite-Man runs off. Stephanie pinches the bridge of her nose when she hears clapping in her comm.

Barbara: Look at you giving engagement advice.

Stephanie presses the device in her ear.

Stephanie: Please tell me you're the only one who heard that.

Barbara, giggling: Nope. They probably won't mock you too much.

Stephanie: Well at least Batman is at-

Barbara: I texted him.

Stephanie: Okay... I'm gonna go home and hide in the corner.

Barbara: Yeah you relax, matchmaker.

Stephanie: Don't even start.

Story so far: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5

[gothamite-rambler]

Dick: Dude, diamonds are formed under pressure, but dough has to rise in heat and left to be rest so it can be bread. Jason ignores Dick continuing to read. Dick: If you take care of a chicken... does that make you a chicken tender? Jason: You've been asking these questions for 25 minutes and I've not responded until now. Take a hint. Dick (blinking): Boiling water can soften a potato or harden an egg. Jason eyes shift to his brother wondering why he keeps talking, but he continues reading silently. Dick: If the devil is beating his wife when it rains hard, and a rainbow forms afterwards does that mean God beat up Devil? Jason: You have to realize that by me not responding I'm in the conversation.

Dick (staring at a pencil): When you’re alone in a room, you’re the only person in the world who can see what you can. Jason (whispering angrily): That doesn't make sense. Dick (continuing to stare at the pencil): Lead is toxic for humans to consume, but we put it in our pencils. Jason snatches the pencil away, breaks it on and returns to reading. Dick isn't deterred as he grabs a glass cup. Dick: Theme parks can snap a crystal clear picture of you on a roller coaster at 70 mph, but bank cameras can't get a clear shot of a robber standing still. Jason: Did Tim put you up to this? Because he would say that on a bad day. Dick (rambling due to lack of sleep): Which orange came first—the color or the fruit? Jason: The fruit name came first, moron. Dick: Why aren't iPhone chargers called Apple juice? Jason: Then- Nope not answering. Dick: Do you think the wind is trying to tell us something and we just don’t want to hear it anymore? Jason (his hands clasped together and trying not break from the inane questions): I just want you to stop saying odd shit. I'm going to guess you've been awake for two weeks again? Dick stares off at nothing, dazed and his brain trying to sleep. Jason: Yup, I'll be back with NyQuil. Stay there. Jason leaves thanking God he could find an excuse to leave.

[gothamite-rambler]

Batman: I get it you all resent your fathers- Zatanna: I'm don't ! I fuckin' love my dad. My dad's fuckin' awesome. Jason: Didn't he turn a man into a pile of sludge once? Zatanna: Oh yeah, the guy was a creep who tried to seduce me when I was 16 and after I made it very clear I was not interested... Fuckin' love my dad! Jason: I- I never had that with my dads! Batman leaves quickly before Jason can yell at him.

[gothamite-rambler]

That was so cute!

Love the idea of Damian just saying romantic/poetic stuff to Jon casually. Bonus points if he does it in front of his family like they're not even there.

Damian: *looking over case file notes* Jon you should stay the night I sleep better when you're next to me

Jon: It's cus of my body heat isn't it

Damian: No actually, you just make me feel safer

Jon: *touch* Oh...really...

Damian: Well I grew up having to be on guard all the time, used to sleep with a weapon next to me, but with you I don't feel the need to have my guard up, you make me feel at peace

Jon: *hugging Damian like no tomorrow* I love you

-the rest of batfam also looks over the same case notes-

Jason:... Do they not care that we can both see and hear them *looks over to Dick* Are you crying!?

Dick: You're not!?

[gothamite-rambler]

Spoiler chases after Condiment King as the man runs with a sack of stolen money, relived it's not Kite-Man. Her phone rings while she runs

Spoiler: Who's calling me this late?

She answers the phone confused, but continuing to chase after the villain.

Spoiler: Busy, make it quick.

Kara (gleefully): It's nothing major... They broke up.

Spoiler: Tanner and Misty?

Kara: Yup... Because she cheated on him with his tennis instructor.

Spoiler stops running and tosses a Batarang at CK's head, knocking him down.

Spoiler (cheerfully): POETIC JUSTICE!

Oracle (on comm): In my ear!

Spoiler: The maroon got cheated on! Karma! Let's go! Yee-haw!

Spoiler rushes after CK and knocks him unconscious while gleefully enjoying the man who cheated on her with his "friend" got dumped.

Oracle (comm to Batman): Do you need me to tell her to chill?

Batman: Nah, she's earned.