#projector synesthesia

[choicesmc]

So sawtooth has synesthesia, specifically spatial-sequence synesthesia (also known as time-space synesthesia) which means they conceptualize sequences (months, years, weeks, etc) as a physical shape. Synesthetes can be grouped into projectors + associators. Projectors experience their synesthesia in the world around them while associators strongly imagine/feel their synestheisa. For an easy example: a projector grapheme-color synesthete (associates letters with a specific color) will physically see ‘A’ as green and ‘B’ as red while an associator sees these correlations in their ‘mind’s eye’ but not physically. 

Make sense? 

Alright. 

Sawtooth is a projector. Time is a very 3D experience for them. Dates, weeks, months, & years trigger very physical experience for him.

Right now, I have the most in depth headcannons for how Sawtooth sees weeks (but similar (-ish, kinda) stuff happens for years, decades, + centuries)

Here's the image part below:

Weeks are linear, starting on Monday and ending on Sunday. The upcoming days are oriented about shoulder height to their left and the passed days are on their right. (<- sidenote: because of this, the future is to the left for him and the past is to the right. Which. Makes. Reading + Graphs/Timelines a trip up for him because they intuitively read these from right to left instead of left to right 😭) 

It's not shown well on the image but the blocks also reflect how they generally feel about each day. Mondays + Wednesdays are typically ugh days and so are slightly depressed, Thursdays + Saturdays are yay days and are likewise elevated. The rest of the days are level.

The past week, in addition to being on their right, is also greyed out color-wise!

[sappho-official]

that post about aspd reminded me the second worst presentation i ever saw at art school. it still makes me laugh/cringe

one quarter i took a fantastic basic-level psychology class as an elective, and one of our units was on mental illness. the professor made it EXTREMELY clear that she hadn't originally had this as a subject, but so many students had requested it over the years that she got tired and started including it. she did a great job at respectfully teaching about commonly stigmatized conditions like DID and ASPD and psychosis and the history of how we've treated various conditions, from medications to therapy over the past century or so.

the end of the unit had a project: make an art piece based on and do a presentation on a condition listed in the DSM-5*. the only required source was the DSM-5 itself, but the professor encouraged us to read about the lived experiences of people with the condition we were covering. simple enough.

*conditions outside of the DSM-5 were permitted with professor approval, and I actually did mine on grapheme synesthesia

SO presentation day goes through like normal. there was one piece allegedly about PTSD that was a pretty painting of an ice-covered rose that was very very obviously not painted for the assignment (which was against the rules) and the presenter was like "I guess the red of the rose represents blood and the ice is like uhh the shattered glass from the car crash?" not great but nothing too crazy

then this one girl gets up. she's done a digital piece so she brings it up on the projector. it's a line drawing of a girl pointing aggressively at another girl, who is cowering; something about it reminded me of a musical poster but I haven't been able to figure out which one. it was also like a photo collage, I think there were photographs inside the line drawings of the girls.

and so the presenter begins telling us about her piece which is about "Antisocial Personality Disorder" and how it makes you "scared to interact with people."

which is, uh

not what ASPD is.

if you're not aware, Antisocial Personality Disorder is what is sometimes colloquially referred to as being a s*ciopath (idk if that needs censoring but it's an outdated and not-great term so I'm leaning on the side of caution). the DSM-5's describes it as "a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others" which may not be a perfect definition, but most CERTAINLY is not what this girl was describing.

so she continues her presentation on social anxiety "antisocial personality disorder," and maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't constantly like "antisocial people hide away from others due to a fear of being vulnerable" "antisocial people are scared that their friends secretly hate them" just REPEATEDLY using the word antisocial incorrectly. someone in the class actually tried speaking up in the middle of the presentation to be like "uh, that's not--" but was cut off. and need I remind you that this was a topic that had been covered IN THE CLASS ITSELF, and, sure, maybe she had missed a day but if she had just read the SINGULAR PAGE of the DSM-5 she was required to cite, she would have been fine!

when the presentation was done, the professor stopped the class for like 10 minutes to basically re-deliver the entire lesson on ASPD, just to make sure no one was confused. I have no idea what kind of grade that girl got, but it was rough to watch.

anyways, the worst presentation i saw at art school was in 1900s art history and involved a guy looking at marcel duchamp's Fountain (a picture of which HE HAD PUT INTO HIS PRESENTATION) and saying that it "looks kinda like a urinal"

it is a urinal.

[somepigeonwandering]

So I've got this thing...

Alright. Backstory moment here. I'm in an AP class called AP Studio Arts. We make a portfolio, it gets graded, there's sustained investigations. All kinds of cool stuff there. However, one day while I'm in class, I'm listening to music while trying to figure out how to approach an abstract assignment. (I'm shit at abstract). Because I was brainstorming I was pretty in my head. I start to tune into my little headspace. My little noggin, if you will. All my life I've experienced this thing which I assumed was normal. When I hear noises, harmonies, music, instruments, etc. (excluding sung words by the way) I see colors and shapes in my head and I feel weird sensations in my body. Like they're projected into my brain. Not on my vision. However there's a process to this. 1) Hear sound 2a) Feel a physical sensation in a part of my body (arms, fingers, legs, sides, cheeks, etc.) 2b) Associate color with that sound 3) Brain associates a shape with that feeling 4) See colored shape in my brain which can warp and change as the colors change It's like an animation of sorts? It doesn't linger if the sound stops. Since I was too lazy to do the assignment I just drew the stuff I saw in my brain projector. Turns out this is some really cool thing that not many people experience. I can explain these sensations and visuals very well with lots of detail. A classmate of mine suggests I am experiencing synesthesia. I've started researching the topic lightly and I am beginning to fall down the rabbit hole of psychoacoustics. When I focus too hard on these visuals my head hurts. And lately its been difficult not to think about them. Especially when I'm just listening to music for fun. I don't want to claim to be some synesthete and then not be. I would hate to misrepresent such a rare experience. (2-4% of the world population(?)) Searching for wisdom or people who also experience this.

[jhavelikes]

In Figure 5 the wearer is shopping for milk, but this could also have been a more significant purchase like a new car or a house. The wearer's wife, at a remote location, is looking through the camera by way of a projection screen in her living room in another country. She points a laser pointer at the screen, and a vision system in the projector tracks that and remotely operates the aremac in the wearer's necklace. Thus he sees whatever she draws or scribbles on her screen. This scribbling or drawing directly annotates the “reality” that he's experiencing. In another application, the wearer can use hand gestures to control the wearable computer. The author referred to this system as “Synthetic Synesthesia of the Sixth Sense”, and it is often called “SixthSense” for short.

Wearable Computing | The Encyclopedia of Human-Computer Interaction, 2nd Ed.

[synesthesia-songs]

🎵🎨 synesthesia-songs introduction post

michael | he/him | 21 | requests OPEN developmental associator chromesthesia

Synesthesia (n.) is a form of neurodivergence where the areas of the brain which process sensory input communicate at an increased rate. A single sensory stimulus will trigger an involuntary response of another sensory area. For example, a person with synesthesia might read the word "dog" and taste strawberries. Like all forms of neurodivergence, everyone with synesthesia experiences it differently.

Chromesthesia (n.) is the term for auditory-visual synesthesia. Some chromesthetics see auditory input in their visual field (ex. actually seeing yellow when hearing a car honk) and others see auditory input in their mind's eye (ex. "imagining" yellow when hearing a car honk).

The inclusion of these "mind's eye" chromesthetics (known as associators) in the definition of synesthesia is a new development. Until recently, only the chromesthetics seeing auditory input in their visual field (known as projectors) were considered to have "genuine" synesthesia.

🎵🎨my synesthesia

I have chromesthesia, specifically of the associator variety. I see can see music (except for showtunes, most of the time!). I associate colors with voices, letters, word fragments, and whole words.

I experience music like the act of riding on a very slow roller coaster. You can look around in a 360-degree field to see what is happening around you, and there is a track moving you forward. While most of what I post on this blog will be still images, you can see an animatic of what I experience here to understand better.

I also experience other forms of neurodivergence :)

🎵🎨"am I synesthetic?"

If you have to ask, probably! Many more people have synesthesia than they realize. The rates of synesthesia are also higher among creatives and neurodivergent people. Many synesthetics are self-diagnosed (myself included) as the process of diagnosing synesthesia is labor-intensive, expensive, and usually unnecessary as synesthesia may not affect someone's quality of life.

🎵🎨tag guide

#synesthesia art - visual depictions of music

#request - pieces requested by users

All songs will be tagged with the name of the requester (ex. #synesthesia-songs or #anon) and the name of the artist (ex. #ABBA).

[synnie-squad]

I have several other types of syn, but I have noticed that when I hear sound it has a color. I do not actually see it like with my taste>color but it is constant. Most people's voices are beige or gray, but music is all sorts of colors. Am I going crazy or is this syn?

Hello Anon,

Yes, this is a type of synesthesia.  A person’s syn falls into one of two categories; Associator or Projector. 

A projected synesthetic reaction is when the synnie actually sees/hears/etc the reaction.  This would be your taste>color.

An associative synesthectic reaction is when a synesthectic response is just in their mind space.  This would be your sound>color.

There are lots of resources on this and if you would like to know more we would be happy to recommend some.

--The faculty

[study-to-rule-the-world]

Types of Synesthesia

There are many different types of synesthesia, but they may be categorized as falling into one of two groups: associative synesthesia and projective synesthesia. An associate feels a connection between a stimulus and a sense, while a projector actually sees, hears, feels, smells, or tastes a stimulation. For example, an associator might hear a violin and strongly associate it with the color blue, while a projector might hear a violin and see the color blue projected in space as if it were a physical object.

There are at least 80 known types of synesthesia, here there are a few:

Chromesthesia: In this common form of synesthesia, sounds and colors are associated with each other. For example, the musical note "D" may correspond to seeing the color green.

Grapheme-color synesthesia: This is a common form of synesthesia characterized by seeing graphemes (letter or numerals) shaded with a color. Synesthetes don't associate the same colors for a grapheme as each other, although the letter "A" does appear to be red to many individuals.

Number form: A number form is a mental shape or map of numbers resulting from seeing or thinking about numbers.

Lexical-gustatory synesthesia: This a rare type of synesthesia in which hearing a word results in tasting a flavor. For example, a person's name might taste like chocolate.

Mirror-touch synesthesia: While rare, mirror-touch synesthesia is noteworthy because it can be disruptive to a synesthete's life. In this form of synesthesia, an individual feels the same sensation in response to a stimulus as another person. For example, seeing a person being tapped on the shoulder would cause the synesthete to feel a tap on the shoulder too.

olfactory-visual synesthesia: when the synesthete smells an odor, they perceive it as inherently colored.

sound-emotion synesthesia

pain-color synesthesia: Each type of pain produced its individual and invariable color, for instance: Hollow pain, blue color; sore pain, red color; deep headache, vivid scarlet; superficial headache, white color; shooting neuralgic pain, white color.

personality-color synesthesia (auras)

time unit- color synesthesia (for example Monday could be red and January could be yellow)

ordinal linguistic personification synesthesia: letters have emotional valences , as well as a sex and personality

Who has synesthesia?

More women have synesthesia than men. Some research suggests the incidence of synesthesia may be higher in people with autism and in left-handed people. Whether or not there is a genetic component to developing this form of perception is hotly debated.

Sources:

https://www.thoughtco.com/synesthesia-definition-and-types-4153376

https://www.cogneurosociety.org/synesthesia_smell_russell/

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-superhuman-mind/201404/colored-pain%3famp

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4286234/

[hayatranslates]

Do you see, hear, and taste the Rainbow?

Can you hear the colors? Do you visualize numbers with certian colors, hmmm 1 is dark blue, 2 is crimson red?

What Is Synesthesia?

Synesthesia is a neurological condition in which stimulation of one sensory activates the stimulation of another. This cross between senses results in having the two activated simultaneously.

Types of synesthesia

The most commonly seen type is grapheme-color synesthesia, in which individual letters and numbers are associated with specific colors and sometimes colorful patterns. Chromesthesia, the association of sounds to colors, is also common..

Some synesthetes perceive texture in response to sight, hear sounds in response to smells, or associate shapes with flavors. Many synesthetes have more than one type of synesthesia. It is estimated that approximately 3 to 5 percent of the population has some form of synesthesia.

Mirror-touch synesthesia—described as a kind of supercharged empathy, in which someone feels as though they’re being touched if they witness it happening to someone else—appears to come with a special set of considerations. Some are benign, such as an observed advantage in recognizing facial expressions; others may be burdensome, as in the case of a neurologist who felt intense pressure in his chest when he saw a patient receiving CPR.

The senses are sight, smell, taste, touch, sound, so what is Synesthesia?

Research suggests that synesthesia is an advantage of some sensory enhancements. Some scientists speculate, for example, that synesthetes are better at distinguishing between smells as well as between colors. Synesthesia can enhance cognitive abilities such as creativity and memory, as it’s easier to make connections between concepts. You could hear music, but also be able to see different notes as different colors.

Many well-known creative minds such as Vincent Van Gogh ,Vladimir Nabokov, Kanye West, Lorde.

"Some time ago you rightly said that every colorist has his own characteristic scale of colors. This is also the case with Black and White (sic), it is the same after all — one must be able to go from the highest light to the deepest shadow, and this with only a few simple ingredients. Some artists have a nervous hand at drawing, which gives their technique something of the sound peculiar to a violin, for instance, Lemud, Daumier, Lançon — others, for example, Gavarni and Bodmer, remind one more of piano playing. Do you feel this too? Millet is perhaps a stately organ."

- Vincent Van Gogh

"I feel that I can make things better through my skill-set. I have a condition called synesthesia where I see sound, I see it! everything that I sonically make is a painting."

- Kanye West

Turn up the lights in here, baby

Extra bright, I want y'all to see this

"Its called synsthisa, and basically its like when the senses overlap in someway. So for me, music and words kind of have colors and textures and forms. Making music is really a visual process to me" -Lorde

The research on Synesthesia

For over 20 years, scientists have shown a constantly increasing interest in Synesthesia. Latest research of prevalence shows that synesthesia occurs in 4% of the population (Simner, Mulvenna, Sagiv et al., 2006; Ward & Simner, 2005).

The study on synesthesia doesn't only contribute to neuroscience and psychology, but also to genetics, cognition, psychopathology, linguistic, philosophy, music, art, and so forth.

The question is how to examine this phenomena to answer all these field. What makes it more difficult to answer this question is the fact that there are significant individual differences in experiencing Synesthesia (Barnett et al., 2008; Hochel & Milan, 2008; Hubbard, Arman, Ramachandran, & Boynton, 2005; Ward, Li, Salih, & Sagiv, 2007.

Some synaesthetes see colors outside (projectors) and others see them in their "mind's eye" or an internalized space (associators). There are those who only associate letters with colors, but we can also encounter the multiple synaesthetes for whom all letters of alphabet, music, surrounding sounds, and even experiencing pain—will trigger pulsing moving colors and accompanying taste experiences (Ha¨nggi, Beeli, Oechslin, & Ja¨ncke, 2008; Steen, 2001).

There is a case of the synaesthete whose senses were relative to one another in synaesthesia combining multimodal configurations of experiences (Luria, 1968). This attribute alone- the extension of stimulus triggering number of senses- indicates that different individuals experience synaesthesia with various levels of intensity.

Pretty cool huh?

References

American Psychological Association, S. C. (2001, March). Everyday Fantasia: The world of synesthesia. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/monitor/mar01/synesthesia

Rogowska, A. (2011). Categorization of synaesthesia. Review of General Psychology, 15(3), 213-227. doi:10.1037/a0024078

Synesthesia. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/synesthesia

Modality and Variability of Synesthetic Experience - Scientific Figure on ResearchGate. Available from: https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Frequency-rates-for-different-forms-of-synesthesia-in-the-sample-N-63-grouped-by_fig2_221721139 [accessed 5 Apr, 2020]

[maaarine]

MBTI & Ideas

The Case Against Reality: Why Evolution Hid the Truth from Our Eyes (Donald Hoffman, 2019)

“Synesthesia runs in families, as Francis Galton first noted in the nineteenth century, but the specific associations do not.

A parent, for instance, might see the letter A as red whereas their child might see it as blue.

Moreover, even the specific senses involved can vary. A parent who sees colors for tastes may have a child who sees colors for graphemes.

This suggests that synesthetic associations, although they sometimes involve cultural artifacts such as alphabets and numbers, are not simply taught in families, but are influenced by genetic inheritance. (…)

They proposed that synesthetes may be endowed with more neural connections, and thus more crosstalk, between the two regions than nonsynesthetes.

This prediction was confirmed by the cognitive neuroscientists Romke Rouw and Steven Scholte with diffusion tensor imaging,

which uses magnetic resonance imaging and sophisticated algorithms to estimate connections between regions of the brain in living human subjects.

They found that the connections are greater in synesthetes who are “projectors,” who see the colors as out in the world, than in synesthetes who are “associators,” who see the colors in their “mind’s eye.” (…)

I started this brief tour of synesthesia with the promise that, at the end, it may free us from a straitjacket—the belief that we see reality as it is.

The tour reveals that synesthetes enjoy idiosyncratic perceptions that guide adaptive behavior and are as vivid, complex, and nuanced as our own.”

[thedeadanonpoetssociety]

imagine gender as a color grid.

we live in a world where everyone is told they must fall into one uniform shade of either pink or blue. and, for the most part, most people do so.

   (when i was born they cried baby girl and dressed me in pink.)

   (i don’t do well with social rules. i don’t do well with expectations.)

.

some people are slightly different shades of red or blue. some people are told to be one, but find they are another.

                                         sometimes those people paint themselves over.

.

then, there’s a whole bunch of folks who are various shades of purple. mauve and violet and indigo and everything else.                                                                             people notice them now, more than they did before. but lilac and lavender have always existed.

.

     everyone forgets the yellows, the greens, the brilliant bloody reds.

.

i was never pink. i think perhaps, when i was little, i was maybe red with bits of gold and purple and black and brown, a resin coaster filled with ink and foil to carry my thoughts like a coffee cup-

.

synesthesia says every voice and every person carries color. numbers and letters are pigmented in my mind, a shifting overlay that flutters, a hazy projector.

(that’s an entirely different plane of thought, but does it bear consideration how i have no color? how my brain doesn’t register my own voice as something bright or dark or anything)

.

i have always loved blue. but that is not the only color meant to be adored by me.

.

the label “male” mostly fits. other labels sometimes-kind-of fit as well, with varying degrees of intensity.

it’s really just a question of what word makes you happiest, i think. like trying on clothes- the size will differ depending on the cut and the brand.

people keep telling me this is a pair of jeans that will shrink and fade, that i will change my mind and strip them off and burn them in a bonfire and slip on a ruffled skirt and be sweet as candy-

(i didn’t wear jeans until i was twelve. the texture made me cry and til then i could not hold it in)

.

(i wear soft things, tagless, kind. i wear black. i wear black lipstick.)

we live in a world custom-made to cause pain; why should i not minimize what i can? why should i not make myself comfortable? why should i not use what labels and what metaphors it pleases me to do so?

.

(i tried being pink. but the paint i poured over my soul corroded me- the words i spoke and those i heard ate away until there was nearly nothing left.

                  overcompensation did not go well.)

.

take a square of canvas.

paint it with gesso, then dark Payne’s Gray. add detailing.

-one corner fades into navy blue. -the opposite has three dots: two in different shades of turquoise-teal-bluegreen, one in a dark green that’s almost black, a forest at dusk. -another carries a stripe of indigo that’s almost-but-not-quite blue. -the last has little specks of silver, growing thicker the closer to the edge of the canvas it gets til it goes from being freckled with stars to shiny sterling brightness.

fading in and out, like translucent cloth waved over, is a shifting overlay of cornflower blue, blue, blue with the slightest shimmer.

that’s my gender.

-Orpheus

____________

. The Dead Anon Poets Society .

[whats-the-story-tc]

31st of January, 2020

"The One Where Atlas Stumbles"

[LONG POST WARNING]

Another day, another flannel.

Dreaming with her the second night in a row, I really bloody hoped they hadn't changed the supervising schedule and I'd see her when I come in. And I did. What with my impending two-hour rehearsal instead of my first two classes, Debate Friend and Art Friend being outside and just plainly the sight of V, I was way too giddy. Teasing Debate Friend about me and Art Friend not having to suffer in Physics, making jokes, laughing way too loud. I noticed V turning in our direction, I think I might even have seen her watching us.

As we leave, Debate Friend to class and us to look for the always late A, we pass V and I flash her my biggest smile to greet her. Art Friend and I are back soon enough, chatting, and I tell her "Something always happens when I'm having a good morning." This time it's V passing us. There is something gentle about the way she looks at me. You know that particular look on someone's face when they aren't smiling, but they still look happy? Content is the word for it, maybe. That's the look. Oh, how I wish I wasn't right about what I said...

Break between rehearsals, I'm outside chatting to my friends, most of them about to have class with the new (foreign) English teacher. Bookworm Friend is gushing, what if he's young and just out of college (either of which he isn't), cuz then she's gonna be really good at English. I automatically tell her "he's a whole ass adult and you're a minor, you can't do that" before I realise what I just said basically contradicts what I call my current love life. "Though I am one to speak" I add frowning, and everyone laughs. I really am a bloody clown, aren't I?

English with V, in the very same classroom where I spent two hours crossing my arms, yelling at and threatening one of the boys in my year (that's my character, don't be scared), and falling on my knees over and over again until we got the scene right. V is quite visibly a little worn down, still in the process of finishing what I assume was probably coffee, but powering through class. Metaphors, synesthesia, symbols and the such, what they are and how they work grammatically. After spending two hours the previous night deciphering Biblical parables and breaking them down to metaphors and meanings for a test we didn't even write, I felt ready.

Cynical Twat has his finger bandaged, I think he cut it or something, and thus he can't write. V asks him about it, and when he tells her all that, she's just like "Well, I was never allowed [not to write]." in this half surprised, half jealous kind of way.

The words for pigeon and dove are interchangeable in my mother tounge, as the actual word for dove is quite outdated. And although the metaphor was about a dove, V specified "When we call someone a pigeon, we don't mean that they smell and spread diseases." At the end of class, when somebody asked her how specific we will need to get about recognising these things in writing, she mentioned we will need to know which example is a metaphor or which one is, for example, a symbol, and added "but you will only need to know the exact subtype if you're preparing for an A level", and briefly glanced straight at me before taking a sip of her coffee. I smiled. Challenge accepted.

First lunch break, two people from the other class are rushing towards me the moment they see me, to ask for my Literature textbook. V told them if anyone doesn't have theirs, they're going to have to answer some questions for a grade. Me being me, I gave it to them because, as I told Pocketwatch Friend, "I love V to bits, but I wouldn't want anyone having to answer the questions she asks." Got my book back the next lunch break, as they forgot everyone's having homeroom, and getting their first term report cards.

V and I have a bit of a similar way of walking—long and fast strides, shoulders straight, head held high—so it was a bit funny, both of us heading towards the same door from opposite ends of the corridor. (Though I only really walk like this when I'm confident in myself. It's funny, apparently I do it often enough for it to be noticeable, cuz admittedly, V recognises this walk of mine. It's something she told me at the end of last year, when she mistook someone on the street for me, but realised our hairs were different and that I walk differently.)

As I'm sat in my usual place, head on Pocketwatch Friend's shoulder as I was really tired, I notice that there is something off about V as she's typing away on her laptop. I couldn't exactly pinpoint what, but I felt that something wasn't quite right. The feeling further strengthened when she started the lesson, and I saw her eyes. They looked years older than they did merely three hours before. There was this... deep-rooted exhaustion and sorrow in them, and at first glance, I thought she had cried. She did smile a couple times as far as I remember, and by the end of the lesson, when she showed us some romanticism-period music and art, and we all cracked up on how the cable connecting our projector to her laptop constantly malfunctioned and kept colouring everything to pink, she seemed to be in a lot better mood. That's something I noticed about her in the past two months or so, that she's usually a bit off when she starts class with us, but by the end of it, she's much more calm and feeling better. Not to brag, but I think she likes being with us.

On my way out, as she was telling everyone to put their chairs up, I told her to get some rest as I passed her. She usually doesn't hear these kind of comments because she doesn't want to, but I tried. But, while her "thanks" was probably addressed to the others, she did look me in the eye as she was walking out, me already being outside. There is something gentle about the way she looks at me. Maybe she did hear it, after all. Maybe she was glad. These looks of hers are the reason I never know for sure how she feels about me. That's the one thing I never learned how to read about her.

After I spent an hour and half with six little girls clinging to me every other minute of training, I went home feeling great. That's how I know I'm doing my job well. My boys aren't quite so physical, naturally, but I like to think they like me, too. They laugh at my jokes. Anyway, I was in a good mood, ready for dinner, having a good time... then I get a text from Bandana Friend, saying "Look at V's [SNS account]."

Private account.

I immediately got dead scared. What if she found out I was there? What if she saw? Oh God, what if I fucked up? I immediately lost my appetite, and I was in a rather intense state of fear and panic, not at all able to think the situation through rationally and spamming both Bandana and Pocketwatch Friend about the situation. Now, I am aware that I overreacted quite a bit, to the point of nearly crying, and that the situation is nearly not as dramatic as I thought, but I really felt like I betrayed her and invaded her privacy, which, especially after all the shit she's done for me, felt like quite the dick move.

Why was her account public before if she didn't want anyone finding her, you may ask. I actually haven't got an exact answer for that. The best I can say is that—she's human. She made a mistake, and I trust her enough to feel that she did. She was careless, but I'm in no position to throw the first stone at her. After all, I was, too.

For long hours after that, I felt hollow. Disappointed in myself. I could only cry later as well, once my mum was gone. Quite tragic, that. One Friday I'm crying in her arms, the next I'm crying because of her. This is why it took me so long to sit down and tell you this, even just writing all this took me 4 whole ass hours. As I thought it over and over again, I realised V isn't someone I should be fearing. That if she ever confronted me about it and I admitted to it, she would be hurt, but she'd understand. She wouldn't hold a grudge, and I could surely make it right by her, were that the case.

But both my friends offered an explanation that made even more sense. After all, it was my cousin from the other class who found it, and surely all of his classmates know. My friends both said that maybe someone over there let the cat out of the bag—honestly, some people there are the type. If you read things back, the fact that she had class with them between our two classes with her, and that she started class with us really disoriented and worn quite add up. I don't think I'll ever know if she saw I was there. I don't think she'll ever mention it. I still feel a little guilty, and something tells me all this isn't quite over yet, not until I see her again and see how she acts. But spending an hour last night, jumping around barefoot in my PJs while listening to Queen and Abba and lip-synching into my phone worked wonders to get the depression out. You should try it.

We'll see how things go. Maybe I screwed up, maybe we both did, maybe neither of us has. Whatever happens, I'll tell you next time. Promise I'll be on time from now on.

~ S ♡

[Every story I share here, no matter how specific I get with my wording, depicts actual events from my own life.]

[synesthetecafe]

i have a question: is it possible to have sound-color and letter/number to color synesthesia (idk if there's more professional names), but only see the colors in your head? like not right in front of me/on the words, but i hear/see it and there's a persistent thought that is in the color(s) of what i see/hear? someone told me that i dont have synesthesia bc of it and i just dont know

No, they were wrong, and you sound like a textbook synesthete. There’s two main kinds of synnies (at least when it comes to those of us who have X --> color syn) : projectors and perceivers. A projector will actually see the colors in front of them in the air, or projected onto the words or whatever. Perceivers, which is what I am, and it sounds like you are, are actually the more common kind. We still have a fundamental link in our brains between the letter/sound/taste/whatever and the color, and we just kinda...experience that color as part of the essential quality of the number/sound/whatever, without seeing it with out eyes, more just... in our mind’s eye. Normal people can’t see a ‘3′ without perceiving the abstract concept of three. Well, I also can’t see it without also perceiving the abstract concept of butter yellow.

I get why people might think that only projectors are the legit synesthetes, because the other way is just so...insubstantial and hard to describe. That does make it sound like we’re making it up or fooling ourselves. But we aren’t. The science backs us up, your synesthesia is real.

(oh and if you’re wondering the sciencey names for sound-->color and letter/number--> color are chromesthesia and grapheme-color synesthesia, respectively)

Cheers!

-- K

[snazzystarlight]

When you listen to music and see the colours and stuff are you seeing the colours in your head or?

There are two subtypes of this type of synesthesia-- projective and associative. Projectors, you know, project the image in the space around them. Associators see it up in that headspace where you’d see a daydream. I’m an associator.

[wanderers-minuet]

20. Does your character enjoy the arts? If so, what kind?

Deity Asks [ACCEPTING]

I’m going to default to Resika here!

Yes, she does! She adores music and performance - loves watching it, listening. She’s a bard, and loves singing, although only with close friends - oddly enough she’s rather shy about it, unless she’s using her skills in battle of some sort. She’s not much for being the performer though. (Shy baby.)

She’s also very deeply attached to arts of the hand - painting, drawing, crafting things with her hands. She has a unique ability called Synesthesia (shes a mix of projector and associating) - she sings or hums while shes doing art type things and she’ll see shapes and colors, or feel them, based on the music. It’s always changing, so she’s always got different designs going on!

[euzonyisoundvision2021]

This was the first collaborative work I have done with a clear end goal and deadlines in the field of moving image. It was unusual at times but we worked very well together, I think finding time when we both were available was the most difficult part.

Many aspects of our installation, including the main theme and overall visual goal were fluid for a long time with a few stable roots but we knew we wanted to create something that would give an immersive experience to the spectators. Beginning to think about the meaning of art and why it has to have a meaning at all gave me the idea of an inner journey. I was looking for something that is the closest to a common human experience to capture through moving image so replicating what’s going on in the inside of our head with an abstract, synesthesia-like approach seemed perfect. Me and my partner have a very similar way of looking at the world so agreeing on the type of visuals we would use was a harmonious decision. We both aspired to achieve a flowy feel both in the visuals and the sound so we decided to try editing the videos to create a fish tank-like effect. We aimed to illustrate the steps of going more and more inward to the mind, starting from a conscious state then stepping into a more immersed one where one focuses less and less to outside stimuli to arrive into the subconscious. We were using lots of watery themes and distorted shapes in motion through these shifts accompanied by at first realistic sounds then more abstract ones.

I often wonder about the nature of art and how it is a mirror to life in every way possible. Everything that is present in society with either positive or negative impact and values, we find in art. There is fluidity, freedom, revolutions, conventions, requirements, labels, and expectations and what are these if not the things that control and overflow our everydays? It is so easy to be caught up in spiraling thoughts about endless demands of human existence but making something that translates that feeling to something more tangible can help put one’s mind at ease. Making art to cope with personal feelings is a universal practice yet paradoxically in so many cases the emotional side is required to be pushed so much aside that there is barely anything personal left about it.

The technical side of this project was heavily dominated by things I have never done before like making and editing sounds using synth and editing software, and using the Blackmagic cameras and projectors of the university. I learned the basics of digital sound making and started developing a workflow that worked in the project but to achieve full productivity in future it needs polishing and requires deeper knowledge about the editing softwares. Using the projectors for the first time was an exciting experience but we had to make sure to have enough time to set up the installation because it always takes longer than imagined to fix possible problems and adjust small details.

[chromium7sky]

Raven: Damian. I’m pregnant again. Damian: What.

“He’s not like any of his siblings. Quiet, collective like an old soul.” -Raven

“He’s like Dad but with Mommy’s power. Only stronger and wickier…” Raynor shivered.

Name: Ingram or Ingo Alfred Wayne (Ingram A. Wayne) Alter ego: Acero or melancholy boy or sadistic brat 😂😂 Hair: Purple Eyes: Green

Ability: Teleportation Portal dimension and multi universe SynEsthesia (he can taste the book content by flavour and he can tell which books is very delicious. Lol) Element manipulation Soul self projector Stealth CQC combat Excellent Marksmanship Can withheld any weapon Telekinesis Telekinetic

Likes: His family especially his mom Training Books, lotsa lots of books Listening to piano song or classics Nature walking such as hiking Meditation Tea. Yep tea. He enjoy revenge (in harmless way as possible? 😂) Solving puzzle

Dislike: When his family in danger Prank Someone insult either his dad or mom esp his moms lol Unsolved puzzle Book that taste yucky

*will update more on his personality from time to time 😁😁