#putting aside my worries for the last three episodes to put this kind of positive sexy energy out there exclusively

[stormyoceans]

last twilight ending with bangkok run for the blind 2027 and mork asking day to marry him fr this time or OR!!!!!! day being the one to propose to mork to fully parallel aon and to really hammer home the fact that day chose mork since the very beginning and that he's gonna keep choosing him and crossing that line again and again without mork having to pull him over it im manifesting im actualizing im rearranging reality

[luka-couffaine-ship-tournament]

Round 1 Side A - Pair 1

CAMPAIGN

Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng

-They‘re just so good for each other. Luka is such a calming presence in Marinette‘s chaotic life and helps her relax when she feels anxious and unsure of herself, always willing to be there for her and offer a helping hand during tough times. Marinette has a deep appreciation not only for Luka‘s ability to play music but also hear heart songs, as if she understood immediately what he meant after listening to him play for the first time. They feed off each other‘s creative energy and are just generally so wholesome together. I could talk about them forever, they make me so happy!!

-Luka is the best boy, and deserves love from the girl he adores

-I just woke up and am too lazy to think of words for my favorite couple so here's some gifs as propaganda

Gif de gifs-misc

Gif de bizarrelovesquare

Gif de notasiren21

Gif de ouiladybug

Gif de kochengnoir

Gif de jeldraximo14

Gif de notasiren21

Luka Couffaine/Sabrina Raincomprix

-Listen, Sabrina needs someone who treats her well, she needs someone who considers her an equal and someone to show her what real love is like. And I truly and honestly think that she would try her best to understand and appreciate Luka but who he really is (if she can see the good in Chloe she is capable of seeing a God when she meets one)

-Vote lukabrina people. We cant lose this!

-This is just unfair we need to help our girl out!

I'll start!

Item Number One: Viperhound Is S Tier

This is the fucking duo right here, this is endlessly clever and positive tag team action, this is a pair who will NOT fail the mission alright?

They are designed so interestingly parallel and then put right next to each other in this sweeping shot of the new miraculous squad???

Like, am I supposed to not assume something about it??

Item Number Two: opposites contrast

Orange and Blue, extremely Sun and Moon energy, but I don't think that would make this ship sail smoothly. See, Luka likes being a moon. He is happy to support and enjoys being someone's shining beacon in the endless dark of night, and no one needs that kind of anchor to hold onto more than Sabrina right now. Sabrina cut ties with her best and only friend and while we see her hanging out with other classmates just fine, we don't really know how she is with being actual friends with people. I don't think anyone has tries to reach out to her since evillustrator and we saw in that episode how she approaches new potential connections. Overwhelmingly cheerful and warm and oppressively clingy, like a ray of sunlight that won't leave your eyesight on the hottest day of the year. She means well but, boy, she can be a lot. And more importantly, she needs to be the one helping because, what kind of friend is she if she isn't? Who is she if she's not doing everything for everybody else? It would, amusingly and annoyingly and endearingly, put her into conflict with Luka, who is similarly always pushing his own problems aside to help people with theirs. This would lead them into a loving rivalry of "take care of yourself" "no u" that goes both ways, a back and forth that ends with them reluctantly letting the other help them. And after so many years as someone's shadow, Sabrina deserves to have someone in her orbit, someone she shines a light on when he needs to be seen.

Item Number Three: YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE

Look I'm SORRY okay, but I have to say this even tho I also think their ship got done dirty by the show, I still think they wouldn't have lasted. I think Marinette and Luka being "too easy" is exactly their problem, as even if they didn't have everything else to worry about Marinette needs complexity or she starts to lose her mind overthinking things and goes looking for it. The simple nature of her relationship with Luka is what 13 year old Marinette needed, the Marinette who wasn't Ladybug yet, who hadn't stood up to Chloe and maybe even just had her heart broken in a mean prank. It makes sense she'd fall in love with and gravitate towards this living embodiment of all the comfort and security she wished she had, she had desperately needed at that time. But that's just it, she needed it then. And now she can rely on herself a lot better, she has a whole support system to fall back on, and what she needs from a romantic partner is something else. But Sabrina? She's done horrible things in the name of her friendship with Chloe and even enjoyed some of them, but had finally hit her limit of how much abuse she can both dish out and take herself. Sabrina can definitely recognize that Luka is a good person, but more importantly Luka would have to actually try to sympathize with a person, rather than just immedietely like them. Lest we forget, Sabrina is the one who locked Juleka in the bathroom on picture day. Chloe told her to but Sabrina physically did it. Being confronted with someone who hurt his sister but is, herself, hurting, and is determined to help everyone but herself will be a lot of conflicting emotions for Luka, and Sabrina would need to get used to being the center of someone else's attention in a way not entirely dissimilar to how Chloe was for her, although significantly less codependent.

What makes Lukabrina interesting isn't that they're perfect for each other or that it's immedietly easy.

It's awkward and messy and they clash, they push each other out of their comfort zones and find a new one to settle in together.

It isn't instant or love at first sight, but by resolving their issues with each other through communication, honesty and trust, they are able to become a happy and wholesome couple.

Don't fucking tell me the odds lol, I know they're probably not winning but they deserve a fighting chance. So please feel free to add your own Lukabrina Viperhound propaganda!

TAG:

Luka/Marinette - @mikoriin

Luka - Twitter @Karma_sensei_

@lukacouffaineappreciation

[sunkissedpages]

instead of you [part fifteen]

pairing: [best friend’s brother] tom holland x college!reader

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.

warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption

word count: 1.7k

series masterlist

Don’t tell Sam. Sam. SAM.

“Shit.”

You had to fix this in a matter of seconds. Should you slap him? Act like nothing happened? Pretend you were drunker than you actually were and play dumb?

“Wait, you’re not Sam?” you squinted your eyes like you were trying to see who was in front of you, acting like you were too drunk to remember who you were with. “Oh my god.”

“Y/n, I’m so sorry,” Tom tried. 

“I-” you didn’t know how to respond. “Why did you do that?”

He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. “I don’t know, it didn’t mean anything!” You’d be lying if you told yourself that didn’t sting a little. If he didn’t have any sort of feelings for you, why would he kiss you? “I wasn’t thinking.”

“No, you weren’t.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “Please don’t tell my brother.”

“You want me to lie to my boyfriend?”

“I mean, is it lying if you just don’t mention it?”

“It’s a lie of omission- are you really going to debate me about philosophy right now?”

“Then yes, I do want you to lie to your boyfriend because if he finds out he’ll never speak to me again.”

“You realize what kind of position that puts me in?”

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Yes.”

You couldn’t even think straight. Feelings of confusion, panic, anger, and regret fought for control of your conscience. “What if someone had seen us? Taken a picture of us? You’re a public fucking figure, Tom. That could’ve put your career at risk.” “Don’t you think I know that?” he growled. “I don’t need you to lecture me on how stupid it was.”

“You’re an asshole,” you scoffed.

“I know.”

You stood from the table to leave, hoping he wouldn’t follow you, but he called after you, your name echoing in your ears like a warning. Reluctantly, you turned back to face him with a bitter taste on your tongue.

“You won’t tell him, right?”

You stared him down for a moment, watching nerves etch themselves onto his features before answering. “You don’t have to worry about it.”

It was a promise you didn’t want to make, but you felt like you had no other choice. You hadn’t just broken the ‘no flirting’ rule, you’d blown straight past it into completely uncharted territory. And technically Tom had been the one to initiate, you hadn’t kissed him back, but you couldn’t say you hadn’t felt something when he did. 

You had never lied to Sam before- at least not on this scale. You felt sick to your stomach, and it had nothing to do with the alcohol. 

You almost didn’t want to go back to your room. You urged the elevator to go as slow as possible as you checked your appearance in the reflective wall. The tarnished gold was smudged with handprints, but you were still able to make out your ruined lipstick. You weren’t sure it had been messed up sometime during dinner, or if it was Tom’s doing but you couldn’t take a chance. You used your thumb to wipe away the evidence as the intercom on the elevator let out a ding to let you know you’d reached your floor.

With a shaky breath you pushed yourself into the hallway and forced yourself to put one foot in front of the other to walk to your room. You didn’t have a key, so you had to knock. You half-hoped Sam was already asleep, even if it meant you’d have to spend the night in the hallway. 

But as luck would have it he was still up and he opened the door seconds later. He was definitely out of it, blinking at you to put you in focus. 

“There you are,” he said tiredly, rubbing one of his eyes with his hand. “I was wondering when you’d come up.”

“I hope I didn’t keep you up,” you apologized as you breezed past him into the room. 

“Nah, I was just messing around.”

A lie, you knew, but you let it slide knowing you were keeping a much bigger secret. He was already dressed for bed in his boxers and one of your t-shirts and his hair was wet from a shower. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, noticing your anxious energy.

You nodded. “I had too much to drink.”

“Ah, me too, I think. Come take a shower. It’ll help.” 

You took his advice and tried to sober up in the shower, letting the cold water run over your bare skin until you were shivering. When it didn’t make you feel any better you turned off the faucet completely and dried off, wrapping a towel around your body and sitting on the edge of the tub. 

“Y/n?” came Sam’s muffled voice from the other side of the door. 

“Yeah?”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

You sighed. Why did he have to know you better than you knew yourself? You pushed yourself up from the tub and opened the door. 

“I had like three more shots after you left,” you mumbled.

The color drained from his face as he took in this additional information and he frowned. “Jesus, I thought I was drunk. Do you feel sick?”

“Not yet.”

“Okay, well let’s go to bed,” he urged. His accent was always thicker when he was drunk, and in a funny way it sounded like home, like all of those Friday nights back on campus. 

Sam gave you space to change into your clothes for bed and crawled under the covers to wait for you. You dressed yourself, hung your towel in the bathroom, and shut off the main light before feeling your way through the darkness over to the bed. 

You managed to get your drunk ass in bed without tripping which you considered to be a miracle. Sam slung his arm across your stomach as soon as you settled on the mattress and pulled you against his hip. You tensed underneath his touch, but he didn’t seem to notice. 

You couldn’t relax no matter how hard you tried, and sleep taunted you for hours, hovering just out of your reach. 

Sam’s alarm woke you from restless dreaming some hours later, when the sun had barely brushed the horizon. 

You groaned and rolled over onto your stomach, burying your face in your pillow. Your head was pounding and you didn’t even want to think about facing Tom. The simple motion of rolling over had made you nauseous and you knew that standing up was going to be a whole nother ordeal. 

“Come on, love,” Sam said, nudging you with his knee. He was already sitting up, rolling the tension out of his neck from a night on the stiff mattress. “We gotta be downstairs in a few minutes.”

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes and you felt pathetic. You didn’t have the strength to be around Tom today, especially with Sam right there.

“Don’t feel good,” you moaned.

“We’re all hungover,” Sam sighed. “We’re not even doing that much walking today.”

You turned your head enough for him to see the tears running down your cheeks and he pursed his lips, expression turning worried. 

“Oh.”

“Can you make something up?” you pleaded. 

He nodded. “I’ll tell them you have a fever or something.”

You swallowed your shame and squeezed your eyes shut, whispering thanks into his shirt. Sam kissed your forehead and then got up. You vaguely heard him moving around the room getting ready, but drifted in and out of sleep as he did. 

Once he was dressed he softly told you goodbye, that he hoped you felt better, and that he’d bring you back some food later on. 

The door clicked shut and you let your guilt continue eating you alive. 

You wondered how Tom would react when Sam told his family you weren’t feeling well, if his face would give anything away. He was an actor, he should be able to handle it. But you also wondered what he was feeling, if he felt as guilty as you did- or even more so. Or maybe he wouldn’t even care. You never knew when it came to him.

You rolled onto your back and propped yourself up on a pillow, using the free time to respond to some messages from friends and family. It was the middle of the night back in the States, but at least they’d wake up knowing you weren’t dead. To be fair, everyone knew your communication skills weren’t the best so they probably weren’t expecting anything from you anyway, but you still wanted to put in the effort. 

The rest of the day passed by quicker than you would’ve liked. You spent it in bed, tossing and turning as you desperately tried to fall back asleep. You kept pushing the blankets off of you, then burying yourself beneath them again, flipping between hot and cold. Maybe you really did have a fever. Your clothes were suffocating you so you ended up stripping and dropping them on the floor by the bed. 

By the mercy of some higher power you were able to nap for a couple of hours scattered throughout the afternoon, but by dinner time you were wide awake again and passed the time by watching Avatar: The Last Airbender in Italian on the hotel tv. 

It was playing an earlier episode, the one where the gaang visited Kyoshi Island. You couldn’t understand any of the dialogue, obviously, but you still found comfort in the familiar scenes. 

There was a knock on the door suddenly, startling you out of your focus. You jerked your head towards the sound and scrambled from the bed. You slipped back into your t-shirt, but didn’t bother putting on pants before opening the door because you figured it was just Sam. And it was. He looked exhausted, but in the best kind of way and was holding a styrofoam container of food that was presumably for you.

“Forgot the key,” he said sheepishly, offering you the food. You smiled and took it from him, stepping aside to let him in. 

He didn’t take your cue, instead he stayed where he was standing in the doorway awkwardly. It was then that you realized he wasn’t alone, that his older brother had been standing behind him the entire time.

Sam offered no explanation, only shrugged like he didn’t know why he was there either.

“Tom?” you asked, awaiting an explanation for yourself.

“Can we talk?” 

ik tags haven’t been working idk why i’m sorry!!! but lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

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[saintprinsessa]

Feeling You: Wanda x Fem!reader

Summary: You were in the middle of a war zone, the Avengers had found Hydra’s base and planned on attacking them by surprise, but the plans didn´t go as initially thought.

You saw how Wanda was in danger and you just went to help her.

Even if it cost you everything.

Trigger warning: Explicit descriptions of serious injuries (broken bones and burns), just a bad word, a little self-consciousness, and a lot of angst.

Words: +5000 (Got carried away)

Author´s note:

I don´t love this one, it made my heart ache a bit tho.

This takes place when Vision was still awkward with the Avengers, so he is going to talk with more estimation.

Also more Agatha ones are coming! :)

Any mistakes are on me and me only!

Anyways, please enjoy!

--------------------------------------

The team was trapped, you were going in front, trying to clean the way to give access to Cap and Widow, they needed to enter the building and destroy the heart of it.

While fighting some guards, you looked up instinctively and saw Wanda attacking from a high position in the air, throwing energy blasts towards some armored trucks.

She is safe.

A bad feeling hit your gut, and your eyes searched around the field.

They landed on a guy who was standing on a tall rock not so far from you.

Before you could react, he shot an electric net, which captured Wanda, instantly wrapping leaving her motionless and shocking her until she was unconscious.

With widened eyes, following her all the time, you ran into the guy, throwing him into the nearest tree, knocking him over, and ran to catch Wanda.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

You gave yourself an electromagnetic impulse, and then your body was collapsing into Wanda’s in the air, but as soon as you touched her, the electric shot went through you, you shut your eyes tight and groaned.

You grabbed the net, your eyes started blooming with light, and with an inhuman effort, you tore it from her body, making her fall from you.

The net was giving you electric shots but you did your best to let Wanda land without her getting hurt.

Her body landed gracefully.

Yours not.

You were like a ragdoll being thrown into the ground, your ribs crunched, twisting inside you and making your organs turn, one of your arms twisted backward, you grunted loudly as your head hit the ground in a bumping motion, and you were dragged various meters, the hard rock floor cutting through your skin and bruising you.

Slightly dizzy, you managed to lift your head.

You needed to see if Wanda was okay.

And when you saw her chest rising slowly, you let go a relieved sigh.

Widow, Cap, and Bruce screamed at you, and by the time you were processing what they said, an explosion was the last thing you heard.

And then everything went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wanda jolted awake terrified, breathing sharply, holding the sheets for her dear life.

What happened?

She cleaned some of the sweat on her forehead and started to ease her nerves, trying to calm herself.

Wanda left her room and went to the kitchen, the halls of the Avenger’s tower were empty.

Strange.

When she arrived, they were all gathered in there, all with worried looks on their faces, some facing the ground, some staring at something.

And then, the realization hit her.

Someone was carrying her back to the ship, in the middle of all the shouting and explosions, she saw that they were winning, she could remember that something hit her and she lost balance, but she was confused, she was falling from high, why her body was unharmed?

Then she saw another body being carried near her, and she quickly recognized who it was.

You.

But she couldn’t see your face, it was blurry and fading, your body seemed...

Lifeless.

Then she fainted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where is (y/n)?”

The question was hesitant, almost like a whisper, and bit her bottom lip.

Maybe she just didn’t want to hear the answer to that question.

Wanda searched between all of them, they looked at each other with sad faces.

Clint avoided her eyes, Natasha was fiddling her fingers, lost in her mind; Cap looked at her but quickly returned his gaze to the floor.

Vision was leaning onto the counter with his arms folded.

“Vision.”

He flinched, Wanda used a stern tone, not a good sign.

“Where is (y/n)?”

Her thick sokovian accent slipped, the question was venenous, her eyes flashed red for a second.

Vision couldn’t bear it anymore, that was too much pressure.

“This compromises me a lot, Wanda, (y/n) fervently asked us to not tell you.”

He said nervous, clasping his hands together while he approached her.

“She is currently at Dr. Banner´s laboratory.”

As soon the sentence left his mouth, Wanda hurried off the room.

Vision turned around to watch the other’s faces, who only nodded, and quickly followed Wanda.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The doors of the lab flushed brutely open, Banner jumped backward losing balance and fell, Wanda made her way towards him stomping, her magic surrounding her menacing.

“Where?”

Her eyes lighted up dangerously for a second as a warning.

Bruce only pointed on a left hall, quickly shooting up on his feet and guiding Wanda, she was following closely, every step as a threat for him to walk faster.

He unlocked the door and Wanda pushed him aside, not having a pinch of patience.

She gasped.

You were nowhere to be seen.

If looks could kill, Banner would be three meters underground.

“I- I swear I left her here.”

He put his hands as if surrender, he quickly went to check your last vital signals registered on the machines.

“Her body was recovering quickly.”

He smiled nervously at Wanda, her anger was replaced with concern.

Thousands of negative thoughts were racing on her mind.

Vision appeared, traversing through the wall, his eyes saw the empty gurney in front of him and then settled on Wanda.

“I bet she is breathing and stable, Wanda.”

He tried to comfort her while he patted her shoulder, just for Wanda to turn and hug him.

She started sobbing like a child, she couldn’t contain herself.

She had so many things to tell you.

Vision soothed her, caressing her back awkwardly, he didn’t know what to do with human emotions.

-----------------------------------------------

Four weeks had passed.

You hadn’t shown any signals of life.

Tony had sent multiple drones to seek for you, the other avengers were searching every day in your favorite spots around the town.

Wanda, on the other side, every day that passed, the first thing that she did was go to your room, and run her hand through the sheets of your bed, your figure still draw in them, she would spend the whole day locked in there.

She also had a shirt that you gave her, she would sleep every night in her bed, hugging the shirt tightly.

“I should have told you, I should have done so many things, (y/n).”

She felt heavy, her eyes swollen for crying till she was dry, her throat sore, she was tired.

She still hoped that one day, she would wake up, go to your room and you would be there.

You would be sleeping peacefully, waiting to the alarm to wake you and spend your day making the avengers laugh at your silly jokes, training almost half of the day, and in the afternoon, while everyone was occupied, you would approach silently to Wanda’s bedroom, hesitantly deciding if knock or not the door, which she would sense you and would permit you to enter, you would find her sitting leg-crossed in her bed, while watching a 50’s black and white sitcom.

She would invite you with a warm smile and a slight nod, asking silently for you to sit on her side.

At some point in the show, she would look at you from the corner of her eye.

You would be watching the show attentive, trying to understand what was happening, but your thoughts, were flooding with Wanda’s presence, how warm she felt, how her company calmed you, she made you happy, she made you feel safe.

You would feel that someone is looking at you, and you would turn to see Wanda, who is now looking at you fully, with a small blush on her cheeks.

You would smile at her, your heartbeat would rise and your eyes would gleam with emotions.

Wanda would retrieve the smile.

“Hey.”

You would say cheerily.

“Hey.”

She would reply sheepishly.

The show would end and you would ask if she wants to see another episode.

She would say yes.

She always says yes to you.

And you would spend the entire afternoon watching the show, maybe you would leave Wanda for some snacks and then would return with your arms full, making Wanda laugh.

Or maybe you would fall asleep because the show not more entertains you, and she would look at you with devotion and adoration.

Some nights you would stay there, Wanda always let you stay, she would hug you, let her head rest on your chest and sleep with you, the next morning you would jolt awake and shower thousands of apologies to Wanda, she just would laugh and say that it was okay.

Some nights you would wake up in the middle of the night, super embarrassed, apologizing and leave, saying that it won’t happen again.

Wanda despised that kind of nights.

She loved your company.

Vision entered her room once again, always forgetting about privacy.

He would do this every day, bringing her some food, and she would eat half of it, just for respect.

Wanda’s head shot up, watching Vision approach to the bed.

“What do you want, Vision?”

Wanda asked dryly, her accent became evident these past weeks, it seems that it tended to appear when she was annoyed.

“I excuse myself for the bargain, Wanda, but I kindly remind you to ingest the nutrients your body needs.”

He replied while gesturing towards the plate he left that afternoon, deep in him, he was hoping that Wanda at least, ate, because her lack of resting and lack of self-care was clearly evident.

She scoffed and returned to her curled-up position.

Vision sighed, this needed to change.

She was not fine.

“Wanda.”

His voice was stern now.

No response.

He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently.

“You need to eat something, if you continue like this, you will pass out.”

Still no response.

“The Avengers, including myself, are doing everything in their limits to find (Y/n)”

He trailed off a bit in the end.

Wanda turned her head to look at him.

“She will appear, I can sense it.”

Now her whole body was facing him.

“I think she would like to find you doing well.”

He dedicated Wanda a slight smile, she replied with another.

“Thank you, Vision.”

He just nodded and left the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks passed after that.

Wanda recovered some color on her face, her lips were plump again, and her eyes were refreshed, she would give a small smile if she encountered someone on her way to the kitchen or returning to your bedroom.

When she opened the door, she squealed when she found Vision inside but smiled afterwards.

“Vis, what are you doing here?”

He was in the middle of the room, looking outside through the gigantic window.

He glanced over his shoulder but didn’t move.

Wanda, slightly confused, approached him.

“Are you okay?”

She grabbed his shoulder, slowly turning him to her.

She locked her eyes onto his.

But they weren’t Vision’s eyes.

They were (y/e/c).

“Wanda...”

Vision talked, but that wasn’t only his voice, there were hints of yours too.

“(Y/n)?”

She smiled hopefully and cupped Vision’s face.

“You look stunningly delicious, Wanda.”

Vision smiled fondly like he was feeling your excitement.

The compliment was a joke between you and her, she was trying to learn english compliments and asked if the Froot Loops could be described as “stunningly delicious” .

She laughed a bit and looked into your eyes.

It was you but how?

“How have you been? Have you lost weight?”

The Vision-controlled-by-you asked pressing her cheeks together, her face now looked like a Blowfish.

The body quickly retracted his hands and took a step backward.

His eyes turned blue again.

“I’m sorry, Wanda, I hope that didn’t bother you.”

That was Vision, embarrassed of grabbing Wanda´s face like that, even if that was you.

You apologized mentally to him, he said that it was fine.

Wanda laughed a bit, she realized that you two were talking mentally as he had his eyes closed but they were moving furiously.

“How are you doing all this?”

She approached Vision again, he opened his eyes and they were yours.

“It’s a long story, but we are somehow connected.”

You smiled a little while remembering something.

You sighed and looked at her again.

“I just wanted to see you, to check if you were doing fine, Wanda.”

Her eyes started watering, and she shivered a bit.

Oh how much she missed you, how much she missed your face.

“Where are you right now, (y/n)?”

She simply asked and that took you by surprise.

You gulped and tried to take Vision back, but she grabbed your shoulder to keep you in place and grasped your chin so you couldn’t avoid her gaze.

“Where are you!?”

Her voice broke, she was crying.

Your eyes closed shut, you were concerned for her, you wished, no, you dreamed of being there, replacing Vision.

“I’m sorry, Wanda.”

You cupped her face and hugged her tightly so she won’t move.

“I really am.”

She shoved Vision backward so she could look at your eyes.

“Wait! (Y/n)!”

She shook Vision when she saw how (y/e/c) were fading to give access to Vision´s ones again.

“Don’t go...”

Wanda trailed off when he saw the pitiful look on his eyes, she started sobbing loudly.

“I apologize, Wanda.”

He hugged her, but not like you.

Nobody could hug like you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They stayed in the room after that, it was quiet, Vision was sitting beside Wanda the entire time, she stopped crying after some time; when it got too late, he left the room and quickly returned with some food.

“How...”

Wanda mumbled as Vision was setting a little table in front of her.

“How is she connected with you?”

Wanda asked nervously, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear and scratching her arm.

Vision nodded and sat again, giving Wanda a glass of water and observing her.

She took the hint and began to eat.

After a few seconds, he started talking.

“I don’t have a proper explanation of it.”

Vision said frowning.

“One day, (y/n) just approached me, she touched the stone...”

He motioned his hand hanging over the stone a little.

“And suddenly, I could feel not just me, but her too.”

He looked at his hands.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And it was true.

When you arrived at the tower, Vision was a really interesting being for you.

You quickly befriended everyone, even him; he would ask about some human things, and you would gladly tell him everything you knew about it, still amazed at the fact that he could think properly and feel too.

One day, the curiosity took the best of you, and you asked if you could touch the stone, slightly embarrassed, you didn’t know how Vision could feel about it.

He smiled at you and nodded, bending a little so you could reach his forehead.

You thanked him and softly pressed your digits into the rock.

Click.

Everything made sense, his existence, how his body worked, how he could feel things, you now could see how he was conformed, you watched his energy flowing in his body.

He was a sophisticated invention, and when you looked at his eyes, the stone glowed.

Your eyes flashed.

Vision could see your brain working, your veins pumping and your nerves functioning, you were something more than a simple human, yet you were made in blood and flesh.

He could feel you and you felt him.

You two shared a smile.

He was a good artificial friend, and you were the closest he has been to a human.

When you got hurt in the battle, he left the Avenger’s tower, even if told he had to stay and not intervene, and when he found you, lying unconscious on the ground, he carried you to the lab immediately.

He felt how you were physically hurt, while you were screaming to the others from pain in the lab, crying.

He felt.

He had felt you thinking loudly while you escaped.

Then he felt how you were hiding from the avengers.

No.

You were hiding from Wanda.

He could feel...

Your sadness.

So he contacted you, through a mind bond you both had, at first that scared the shit out of you, but quickly was replaced by relief.

He was... happy to be talking to you, you two agreed that he would check on you, but he wouldn’t say anything.

In his visits, he told you about everyone, you felt horrible, and when he told you about Wanda’s breakdown, you made him promise that he would take care of her.

And he gladly did.

Because this was not an order, like the ones that Stark gave to him.

This was something that you asked.

And while you were asking, he felt your sorrow.

So when he returned another week and told you that Wanda was doing better because he raised her hopes about seeing you again, you had to do something.

You couldn’t appear, no.

His stone was enlightened again.

And you understood that this connection was deeper than you initially thought.

When you looked at him, he nodded, and you hugged him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wanda stopped chewing and gazed at him, in disbelief.

He sighed.

“Wanda... is there any possibility that I could see inside your mind?”

She gave him a confused glare, frowning, and shook her head.

“It’s just... I feel like...”

His stone gleamed for a second.

Wanda’s eyes shot up and she approached him, she slightly raised her hand, and Vision stiffened.

That was not what he wanted, and Wanda caught up.

She closed her eyes and let her hands rest on her legs.

Vision nodded and softly pressed his hand into her temple.

Now, he no only felt how you were observing, but now, you were feeling Wanda too.

She felt painfully broken, flooding with anguish and melancholy, she felt like someone tore apart half of her soul.

You felt her.

And now you were crying disconsolately.

Vision quickly drawled his hand back, he had his eyes closed and a pained look on his face.

Wanda blinked a few times and give a concerned look at him.

“Vis, what happened?”

Vision opened his eyes.

A tear ran down his cheek.

“I know where is (y/n).”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were gathered in a corner of the room you were living in, crying, you couldn’t stop your tears anymore.

You missed Wanda, you missed her laugh, her voice, her eyes, her warmth.

You missed the moments you spent with her.

I should have told her...

You heard someone bursting into the living room.

Vision?

You didn’t have the forces to confront him right now.

“(Y/n)!?”

You froze.

It wasn’t Vision.

It was Wanda.

“(Y/n)!? Where are you!?”

She screamed with hope in a faint voice.

Everything was dark, Wanda quickly lighted the only bulb that was in the room.

“(Y/n)! Please!”

She cried out, her heart pumping hard in her chest, her face tear-stained was desperate looking around.

And from all the darkness, you appeared.

Wanda went through thousand of emotions when she saw you.

You were different.

Skinny, almost in your bones, your body slightly curved, like you were using just a foot to put your whole weight, one of your arms was bruised; the other one holding a cane.

You stepped more into the light, and she took in your face.

Your lips were dry, you had a big cut in the bottom one, half of your right ear was missing.

And the whole part of your eyes was bandaged.

You were wondering if your mind tricked you, there was no sign of someone in there.

Until you felt an arm wrapping you tightly.

You dropped your cane and hold onto the figure.

Wanda started sobbing into your shoulder, she had one of her arms grabbing you strongly by your back and the other one was grasping your shoulders, trying to feel you as most as she could.

“I thought that I had lost you.”

She continued to cry until she had little hiccups.

You were crying too, your bandages were damped at this point.

“I’m sorry...”

You replied breathlessly.

She left the embrace, but she continued to hold you, her hands were now at your waist.

“I won’t leave again.”

You nodded slowly, trying to reassure her that it was a promise.

She observed you and reached the bandages to tug them off, but you quickly grabbed her hand, stopping her.

“Wait, Wanda.”

You called quickly, your heartbeat raised, and your breaths became shorter.

“You don’t have to.”

You were anxious, repeatedly trying to put her hand down.

She cupped your face with her other hand and caressed your cheek with her thumb.

“I want to, (Y/n)”

For a moment, you dug your nails into her wrist but you quickly surrendered.

It was Wanda after all.

As soon as you nodded, she retrieved her hands and used her magic to undo the bandages.

It all happened slowly, she carefully took every layer, hesitating a little, because every layer she took off made you stiffen more.

At the final layer, she used her hands, she grabbed gently the last strand, removed it, and let it fall into the ground.

She gasped and her eyes softened.

The superior part of your face was the most affected.

The whole upper area was in a dark crimson pinkish color, burned, and in living flesh.

It covered all of it, and it reached from ear to ear.

It seemed like it was healing slowly, but the worst part was your eyes.

They were covered mostly in a milky white layer, leaving a quarter of your (e/c) at sight, swollen and sticky, tears staining your eyelids.

Now they were moving, desperately trying to seek something.

Wanda sensed your hesitation.

“I’m happy to see you.”

She smiled and leaned forward but stop inches enough so you were feeling her hot breath against your face.

“Does it hurts?”

You blinked a few times.

“No, it doesn’t.”

She brushed her nose with yours.

She read about it in a book, it was told that Eskimos couldn’t kiss because of the cold weather, so they brush their noses gently to show affection.

It was something that she liked, and you despised.

You crunched your nose and smiled.

She smiled too.

“Wanda, I have something to tell you.”

You took a step back, trying to make some room but you almost tripped so she caught you by your back.

You had one of your hands grabbing her coat and the other one her arm.

“And if I don’t say it know, It seems that probably I won’t have the chance to do it other time”

You chuckled quietly.

“ I...”

You sighed, she was giving you time to talk, you thanked that.

“I love you.”

She became ecstatic.

Your eyes stared forward, unsure, moving rapidly, waiting for an answer.

The room was silent.

You were trembling at this point.

She shook her head rapidly, coming back to reality, and when she realized that you couldn’t see her, she grabbed your hands and let you cup her face.

You eagerly touched her features, going from her forehead, tracing the corner of her eyes, caressing her cheekbones, and when you cupped her jaw, you could sense that she was smiling.

“What do you feel, (y/n)?”

A tear touched your hand and you carefully wiped it away.

“I just feel you.”

She kissed the palm of your hand.

“Good.”

She said softly and her eyes shot up red.

She was letting you into her mind.

Memories, feelings, and thoughts of her were being shown to you, so you shared yours too.

You saw how she would check on you while you were training, using a facade of “I like to see some moves to use later” knowing that she doesn’t use close combat, or how she would prepare foods that you liked in a thankful form for missing dinners when you preferred spending the night with her.

You saw how the high ranked members on meetings would make her feel less saying that she was dangerous, so it was safer to not use her in order to protect the civilians on there; but she would simply shrug it off because, in the afternoon, she would see you again.

You saw how she spent these weeks going to your bedroom and hugging your shirt, crying until she fell asleep.

You saw how she was shattered into million pieces and made her best to compose herself in the hope of seeing you again.

On her side, she saw how your eyes were fixated on her in Stark’s parties to see if she was having fun, and when you come to realize that she was getting a bit uncomfortable, you would smoothly distract anyone that was talking to her to give her some space, or how would you seek for her in every mission just to see if she was doing fine, even if you were the one that needed help.

She saw how you would have a terrible day and it all disappeared when you saw her.

She saw how you caught her while she was falling in the mission, and made sure that she was okay.

She saw how your body fell, twisted, and cracked, how the mine near you exploded.

How you screamed in agony, crying loudly and begging the others to not let her see you like this.

Because in every thought that you had.

She was present.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You abandoned each other’s mind, her magic burst in a blast in the room when you broke the connection.

“Wow.”

You both said in a whisper at the same time, with your foreheads pressed.

“(Y/n)?”

Her gaze was fixated on you while she was brushing her slender fingers through your long hair.

“Yes, Wanda?”

This time, your eyes were searching for something, it seemed like you were searching for her lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

Your eyes shot up and somehow they looked into Wanda’s

“You can.”

You closed her eyes and stood still, Wanda closed hers too and leaned, kissing you dearly, making you both melt into the kiss.

It felt good.

Like new stars forming in the universe, like a laugh of a newborn or the soft caress of a mother.

Her lips had a faint taste of salty tears mixed with her sugary strawberry lipstick.

Your lips felt softer than they seemed, they had a taste of chocolate syrup covered with a hint of mint.

You had been eating your favorite candy, Vision had brought a box of them without being asked.

It’s a gift, he said, smiling.

Your hand tried to reach her face so she took your hand, grabbing and squeezing it lovingly.

You were the one that broke the kiss, with your eyes still closed but you didn’t pull apart from her, her body was emanating the heat you missed and craved.

She didn’t try to move away neither, she was enjoying the moment.

“I love you too, (y/n).”

She murmured against your lips while you formed a smile.

She laughed, and took you into her arms, picking you up, and started swirling you around.

You chuckled and screamed startled at her to stop, she stopped and lifted you higher, with a smile on her face that quite reached her ears and observed you for a moment.

Your hair was falling in cascades on her face, it framed your features perfectly, your eyes were squinted because of your wide smile.

She lowered you a bit, so now you were hovering her face.

You instinctively inclined your head, searching for her face and she made it easier when she guided your lips to hers.

This one felt like shooting stars too.

Your heart was doing stunts in your chest, she hummed into the kiss and both of you sighed excitedly.

You let your hands rest on her shoulders and wrapped your legs around her torso, then she had her hands securing you by the waist.

She broke the kiss this time, your body was melting into her touch.

You let your chin rest on her shoulder and closed your eyes, letting go a deep breath.

This felt right.

Wanda nodded, and raised her hand to rub your back, she agreed.

This indeed felt right.

“I’m sorry.”

You said suddenly, swallowing a sob, the guilt tightened your chest.

“Don’t be.”

She was smiling sadly, she still couldn’t conceive the thought of never seeing you again.

“But I only caused problems, I made you feel miserable.”

You buried your head into her neck, your voice was quiet.

“I was sad because I remembered all the happy moments that you shared with me, I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, but you are alive, (y/n).”

She was excited now.

“I have the chance to show you how much I love you.”

You giggled and kissed her neck, making her laugh too.

You backed a bit, forgetting that you couldn’t see her, but that didn’t bother you in the slightest, she was there, and you could feel her.

“Wanda?”

You asked knitting your brows.

“Yes, (y/n)?

She cupped your cheek, watching you with a goofy smile.

“Are we floating?”

You laughed a bit, you could somehow sense that you weren’t on the floor, but it became obvious when you let go of your legs from her waist and your feet just felt air.

And you were right.

Absently minded, Wanda started floating while sharing the kiss with you.

“Yes, we are.”

She was laughing sheepishly, she slowly started lowering you both, holding you tenderly, until she reached the ground and she helped you to stand.

You both had your hands intertwined.

“I’ll stay with you from now on.”

She stated, taking your expressions, you were thinking.

“First me disappearing, then you gone? The others will freak out.”

You chuckled at the thought, imagining the chaos that would lose Wanda’s disappearance.

She kissed both of your hands, and leave them to grab your temples and rest her head over yours.

“Vision knows where are we, if they need us, they can talk to him.”

You shook your head, smiling.

“Poor him.”

You could hear a soft voice in the back of your head.

I wouldn’t mind in the slightest.

“Oh and (Y/n)?”

Wanda asked, a smile could be heard in her voice.

“Yes?”

“You look stunningly delicious.”

She snorted and gently kissed your nose.

[favefandomimagines]

Then Let Me Go (g.w.)

Summary: you’ve been with George since your third year at hogwarts and you wondered if he’d ever propose

AN: this was inspired by a season 3 episode of glee where emma talks to will about marrying her and her OCD and i switched it up and used anxiety instead which is something i deal with all the time

You and George were the epic love story. You beat the odds, survived a war and had reached a mile stone of almost a decade together.

And yet you were at a stand still. Everyone around you was either married or engaged to be married.

Fred had just gotten back from his honeymoon with Angelina, Ron just got married to Hermione and Harry proposed to Ginny two months prior.

And then there was you and George. The epic love story that was grinding to a halt. That thought alone made your anxiety and overthinking worse than it’s been.

Being a half blood, you knew what anxiety was. Your mother had it when she was your age and it was something you dealt with every day. Your boyfriend had known about your illness early into your friendship, long before you were dating.

He was always there for you but now that he was the thing causing your anxiety, you didn’t know who to turn to.

George not proposing made you second guess everything you did. Thinking that the smallest wrong thing would lead to George to admit he didn’t want to marry you.

You were beginning to feel self-conscious and almost like you not revelling in the greatness that is pre marital or post marital bliss, you were a burden.

No one who’s married or engaged wants to hang out with the only person who’s not.

Angelina’s birthday was coming up and Fred had entrusted you in planning the event. Which you said yes to because not only was she your best friend, it distracted you from the constant mental chatter.

You were sitting at your kitchen table, going through the various ideas you had for Angelina’s party.

“Hello, darling.” George greeted you as he entered your shared home. “Hi, Georgie.” You replied, eyes not leaving your plans. “Are you still planning the party?” He asked.

The redhead sat across from you as he watched you hyper focused on your work. “Uh, yes. I just want everything to be perfect. I feel like there’s something missing.” You answered.

“Y/N, it’s going to be perfect. You just have to relax.” He said. “I can’t relax, George.” You muttered, hating the way he told you to relax.

“What’s really going on? I know there’s something wrong, there has been for months.” He commented.

You stopped your movements for a moment before looking up at him.

“D-Do you want to be with me? As in husband and wife?” You questioned. “Of course I do. But planning a wedding and having kids can be a lot for your anxiety, love. I don’t want you to be in that kind of environment.” George answered.

Though his answer was caring, thoughtful and putting you first, you were frustrated by it.

“George, I’m more than just this disease that I have. Every single day is riddled with anxiety but that doesn’t stop me from pursuing the things I love. I got a job at the ministry for Merlin’s sake, despite the constant feeling of not being good enough and that I don’t deserve it.” You started.

You paused to keep your emotions in check but George knew you like an open book.

“I want to marry you, George, I want to be your wife. But if me being so irrevocably in love with you isn’t enough and you only see my anxiety, then you need to let me go. Because this whole time I’ve been watching everyone in my life have what I want. And it’s not fair to either of us to stay in a relationship that’s come to a stand still.” You finished.

You cleared your throat and stood up from the table, heading into the guest bedroom. Locking the door behind you.

George inwardly groaned has he put his head in his hands. The truth was, he had decided he was going to propose to you a long time ago but then he had a conversation with one of his old friends from school and their words got in his head.

Your anxiety would just get worse if you had to plan a wedding and having to care and worry for a child would add on to that. But he was so incredibly wrong for letting that get to him.

—

It had been a week or so since the truth was revealed and Molly had invited you and George to the Burrow for a family dinner.

You and George hadn’t really talked since that day. He made it clear to you that he didn’t want to lose you or end the relationship that you both had jumped through hoops to keep.

The conversations were the usual, normal ones. Neither you of mentioning your previous conversation but the tension was very noticeable.

The whole Weasley family could tell something was off. The extended members included. You and George were usually the couple everyone wanted to be like and now, they couldn’t be happier they weren’t.

Before dinner was ready, Molly had asked if you could help her prepare dinner. 

Now you’ve known Molly for years and she rarely asked people for help in the kitchen. The last time she did, it was holiday break and George asked you out the next day.

“Is there something going on with you and George?” She asked you. That was when you broke. No one had been upfront enough to ask you and the fact that someone had, was enough to make you let down your walls. 

“I asked him if he thought about marrying me and he basically said he didn’t want my anxiety to ruin it. I didn’t think it was that much of an issue that he didn’t want to marry me.” You cried to the woman. 

Molly wrapped you in a tight embrace and cooed you as you cried. “I don’t know what else I can do.” You added. The Weasley matriarch feared for your relationship. 

Not only had you had a positive impact on his son but her family as well. Her and Arthur saw you as another daughter and they loved you as if you were their own. She didn’t like seeing you hurt especially at the hands of her son. 

After a few minutes of her consoling you and cleaning yourself up, you helped her bring dinner out on to the table and took your ‘assigned’ seat next to George. 

He could tell you had been crying. He knew that when your eyes were a little puffy and your eyelashes were damp, that you had been crying over him.

You had three types of crying; the crying over a book, which usually involves a couple stray tears. The frustrated crying, that involved you yelling and sobbing at the same time. And the crying over a boy. Which was quiet and sad, and he knew it quite well because it had been reserved for him for the past decade.

Under the table he placed a comforting hand on your thigh and he felt you tense under his touch before softening slightly. 

Dinner soon came to an end, after the hour of grueling wedding talk and questions about when Fred and Angelina were having kids. 

Everyone could see the distant look on your face as they talked about it. The only two people who knew what was actually going on was Angelina and Ginny. 

While you were helping clean up the table with Ginny and Hermione, Molly pulled her son aside to have a much needed conversation. 

“George, what is this I hear about you not wanting to marry Y/N?” She asked. “I-I know how it probably sounded to her. I made it sound really bad. But, I do want to marry Y/N, mum. I just, don’t know how to ask her.” George answered. 

He stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out the small ring box. “I’ve had the ring for a while I just couldn’t find the right time. It has to be perfect because she deserves nothing less than perfect.” He added. 

“Sweetheart, Y/N will think it’s perfect because the man she loves is asking to spend the rest of his life with her. That’s all she wants. She wants you to want to marry her, flaws and all.” Molly told him. 

George nodded his head as he looked at the ring in his hand. He quietly muttered an ‘excuse me’ to his mother before going to find you. The Burrow was important and significant to the both of you and if that wasn’t the best place, he didn’t know what would be. 

“Y/N, may I borrow you for a second?” He asked you. You looked from him to Ginny as she nodded her head and took the plates from your hand. George intertwined his fingers with yours as he led you outside. 

The two of you walked a ways away from the house, down the path of tall grass before you had come upon the clearing. The sunflowers were in full bloom around you and the air was warm, a slight breeze blowing. 

“What did you need to talk about?” You asked him, avoiding eye contact by looking at the sunflowers blowing in front of you. “Y/N, I need you to know that I love you. I have loved you since I was 14 years old and I have loved you more every day since then. You’re perfect even when you don’t think you are,” George started. 

You didn’t know where he was going with his declaration of love. “It’s like that line from that muggle poem you always say, uh what was it?” He stammered. “We loved with a love that was more than love. It’s from a poem by Edgar Allen Poe.” You interjected. 

“Yes! That’s it! You and I, Y/N, are the epic love story just like that. And that is why I want to marry you. All of you. I want to live my life with you. I want to have kids with you, preferably twins but I’ll love them all the same. My point is,” George paused, getting down on one knee. 

“Marry me, Y/N. Please.” He finished. Your answer to him was wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him deeply. He didn’t hesitate kissing you back. 

The two of you parted and George looked at you with a smile on his face. “Is that a yes?” He asked. “Of course it’s a yes.” You laughed. George laughed in relief as he took the ring out of the box and slid it on to your finger. 

[yamaoni]

The Second Great War of Remnant has begun. Once more, Vale and Mantle are embroiled in a massive conflict, only this time, they are on the same side against Atlas.

I don't think it was a coincidence that so many people drew parallels with the last episode and WWI. We've never seen people fight that way in RWBY. Grimm don't use projectile weapons the way humans do, so the benefits of the trench are diminished; especially if you compare it to the drawbacks.

Now, I understand not everyone in the Atlas military has their aura unlocked and the squishy soldiers need some cover, but if The Long Memory didn't nuke every grimm on Atlas, the lines would have been overrun and then there would have been nowhere for them to retreat to.

You think the very real hand to hand struggles in the trenches of WWI were bad, imagine being trapped in a narrow trench with a bear. Or having this thing explode out of the ground under you.

I refuse to believe no-one in Atlas ever thought, "if we put the dirt from the trench in a box, no only can we give our soldiers cover, we can also give them an elevated position to fire from."

The top of a wall has been the primary defensive position for the people of Remnant for a long time. You can see them in the establishing shots of most settled places the team has visited. So why are we seeing a trench now?

Simple.

Show, don't tell.

RWBY has done a pretty great job, especially in the last few seasons, of showing the audience what it is trying to convey without explicitly telling them. They especially like drawing from well known folk lore to give insight into the future of the show.

Only difference here, instead of drawing the parallel between characters, they're drawing parallels between worlds.

Remnant's first Great War started with Mantle suppressing freedom of expression, the destruction of Art and Color. Ironwood always has little in the way of color, but in his first broadcast since everything started hitting the fan, he has none.

That broadcast also included evacuation ships being blown up by fighter-bombers, Dunkirk. It threatend to level a city if they didn't surrender, Battle of Brittan. All delivered by a dictator trying to scare his opponents into submission through careful use of film.

Theories

If the rest of the season is WWII, I have several theories on plot direction. Considering how well they did keeping up with both ends of the battlefield it wouldn't surprise me if they followed all of them at the same time.

Operation Dunkirk

Or, the evacuation of Mantle.

Players: Penny, Nora, Ren, Happy Huntresses

The Happy Huntresses involvement is a given. Not only has saving Mantle been their goal the whole time, they're also stuck in the middle of it right now.

Penny is the Protector of Mantle. It would be a shining moment for her character to fully throw off the virus Watts implanted and overcome Ironwood's threats to do so. Just crossing my fingers that it doesn't end like the Iron Giant.

Nora is currently Penny's tether to sanity, so she has to go with, and I doubt they would separate Ren from her for the next arc so he's going too.

Surprise twist for this plot I'm betting will be the Starwars "they aren't warships, just people" scene everyone loves to rag on. After all, the broadcast went out that they needed help and, at least at Dunkirk, it was fishing boats and pleasure crafts that retrieved the 338,000 surrounded on all sides.

Why We Fight

Or, countering Ironwoods propaganda.

Players: Robyn and Qrow

For one, these two are unaccounted for and in the heart of Atlas' military machine. If anyone has means to do so, it's them.

The film, Why We Fight, also countered the dramatic cinematography of Goebbels propaganda by painting it as ridiculous and making a folksy call to action much like Robyn has done in the past.

Operation Fortitude

Or, the deception of Ironwood.

Players: Emerald, Jaune, Oscar

This is the mission to make Ironwood think the team is going after the relic. This theory is why I actually thought of and wrote out this whole thing. Thanks @maxiemumdamage, I had things I was supposed to do tonight.

https://maxiemumdamage.tumblr.com/post/644291955872890880/willing-to-bet-my-own-soul-that-emerald-uses-her

Only difference in my theory and their's, is Jaune is going to be playing the part of Penny.

I say this for two reasons. One, Joan of Arc pretended to be a man. While we've gotten both Jaune pretending to be something he's not and him in a dress, this would pose the first time in the story he could do both. Two, it would put him on a direct collision path with Cinder. It needs to happen at some point to bring his arc to a conclusion, but man I hope we're not about to watch him burn.

With Ozpin active again, Oscar has to go along to direct them to the vault. He's also one of two backing the idea of Emerald joining the team and Jaune wouldn't be willing to work with her without him.

Operation Overlord

Or, busting down the doors of Atlas Acadamy.

Players: Ruby, Blake, Weiss, Yang

Where Operation Fortitude was the faint, Operation Overlord was the real deal. For those that aren't history buffs, this is D-Day.

I think this is the reason we've only seen the main team fighting together once since their split from Beacon. And even then, that fight was at most pairs of fighters and not all four of them supporting one another.

RWBY tricked us into thinking season 4 was the post-timeskip level up we come to expect from anime when really we ended up watching the training flashbacks as they happened instead.

We've seen hints of it with the various team ups and combinations, but are we really ready for how much ass kicking they are about to do?

I'm hoping for a One Piece level of badass entrance that can give me shivers whenever I go to watch it again like the walk to Arlong Park still does to this day.

(Aside: if you try telling me RWBY isn't anime, I'm just going to ignore you. Anime is an art movement. If you don't understand what that means, watch this video. https://youtu.be/uFtfDK39ZhI)

Now last and certainly not least

Operation Valkyrie

Or, the death of Ironwood.

Players: Winter and Marrow

The long awaited defection. Plenty of speculation has already floated around about if and when these two where going to cave to their morals and jump ship. I don't know how many of us were expecting the straw to break the camel's back to be a nuke held over Mantle, but I certainly wasn't.

What worries me, is Operation Valkyrie failed and all its conspirators were executed. As if there weren't enough death flags for Winter before.

Even if it's not Winter that kills him. I don't see Ironwood surviving this season. Even if it means he goes out like another hated dictator. It's not like it would be the first time RT had a fallen hero chose to use his own sword.

Wildcards

Or, Murphy will have his due.

Players: Cinder, Watts, Neo, Tyrian, Mercury, Clover

These players can go any which way. Three we know for sure are going to be active in the coming episodes and I wouldn't be surprised if the other three play a part as well.

Oscar made a hell of a light show for Tyrian and Mercury to see behind them. Not to mention, Salem will still need a ride home when she pulls herself back together.

Clover keeps getting mentioned even though he's hospitalized. If he was truly out of commission for the rest of the season, they would have made us think he's dead before bringing him back like they did with Penny.

Up to now, what we've seen is a three way conflict. But one of the hallmarks of Remnant's First Great War, was making temporary alliances to fight off grimm.

The grimm might be gone, but the wild cards can't complete their own objectives if they are dead. The question is who's goals better align with their own.

Two surprise twists I can see here. One, Mercury stabbing Tyrian on his way to defection. He was raised by an assassin and has not going to get a better chance than that. Two, Clover joining Operation Valkyrie. He might have accepted that sacrifice is a necessary evil to ensure Atlas' survival, but might go Schindler's List on us and find horror in what Ironwood plans to do.

TLDR

I spent way too long writing this out. All the WWI imagery means we're getting a WWII movie with RWBY characters. Major death flags for Penny, Jaune, and Winter.

Also I finally figured out how to do a readmore. Apparently it's just been a long time since I updated.

Note: kept seeing things talking about clovers death and I kind of went ???? Isn't he barely alive in medical? Went back and watched that scene and though I am 90% sure he is dead still kind of weird that they have him in his own room instead of a morgue and the initial framing made my mind instantly think he was propped up on a hospital bed. I mean, I guess we needed to have all the ACEOPs there for their reaction to Ironwood... but it definitely made me think he was alive. That and they have a bandage on his chest wound... when he's supposedly dead. Also have a phantom memory of Harriet saying something about him being in critical but I think that's my memory playing tricks on me.

Having his face exposed instead of covered by the sheet and seeing him in the same frame as Winter being treated also didn't help my gut reaction of "Oh Shit! He's alive? How?!" If I'd followed up more on the "how" might not have made the blunder of writing his return as the final twist in my theory. Oops

[gothgirlmahi]

Princess

Dark!Bucky x Reader Summary: Daddy’s punishments go a bit too far so he spends the night trying to make it up to you. Warnings: Forced age regression, non con, violence. Do not read if these are offensive to you in any way.

Bruises and welts covered your body as you laid crying on the floor of your room. The pink carpet was rough against your bruised cheek.

When you were bad, Daddy did bad things to you. Bucky did bad things to you. When he first brought you here, you were resistant. You were an adult, you didn’t need to be anyone's little girl or anyone’s baby. Bucky thought otherwise. He looked at you and saw someone who needed him. Someone he could dominate and boss around and keep locked in his house. He was good to you as long as you listened to him. He could be kind even. Just not recently.

There was no telling how long you’d been here. You’d stopped counting somewhere around three weeks. You knew nobody was looking for you and Bucky knew it, too. That’s why he chose you. 

Some of your behaviors he could get past. The crying. Throwing your food on the floor. Even saying you hated him. Sometimes he would spank you or even just lecture at you for being a bad girl. The one behavior he couldn’t get past was your escape attempts. Or mentioning your life before all this. Or calling him crazy. Or saying you weren’t a little girl and you weren’t going to call him daddy. That was your most recent mishap. Anything that broke the fantasy sent him into a rage.

Bucky knew he overreacted. You were frustrated and he had to have expected that. He was just hoping this all could go a bit faster. You could accept him, let him take care of you and you all could be happy. He didn’t understand why you were so resistant. You hated everything being an adult entailed, paying bills, going to work, taxes. He took you away from all of that because he knew you hated it. Bucky needed someone to take care of. Someone he could focus all his attention on so he could make them happy because he hadn’t been doing a good job of making himself happy.

He shouldn’t have hit you that hard with the belt. He especially shouldn’t have slapped you. Even after you cried and apologized he just couldn’t stop himself. Your words had a lot of impact on him. You thought he was crazy, or at least that’s what you said. But what was crazy about wanting someone to love? Someone to take care of?

“Baby?” he called before entering your room. No answer. He supposed you were mad at him or sleeping by now. It was past your bedtime, anyway. He pushed the door open and found you right where he left you. You had hardly even changed positions. Your dress was bunched around your waist, revealing your bruised ass. Your legs had felt his anger as well and parts of your arms were beaten. Clutched between your arms was a little purple teddy bear he had bought for you.

He kneeled down to you and saw you were shaking. Your eyes didn’t meet his until he called your name.

“Baby girl, I am so sorry. You know Daddy loves you. I just get upset sometimes.” He went to pet your hair and you flinched out of fear. The last time Bucky’s hand was near you, he slapped you to the ground. You didn’t want him touching you. 

“Daddy’s going to pick you up and put you in bed, okay sweetheart?”

You didn’t say anything, just continued your lifeless stare at the wall as Bucky picked you up. He pulled back the blanket to your bed and put you in gently. The sheets brushed against your bruised body and you tried to hold back your whimper of pain. Bucky looked sad and kneeled next to you.

“Are you hungry?”

You shook your head.

“Are you sure? You don’t even want a snack?”

You would happily starve to death if it meant getting away from him. Bucky hated the fear he saw in your eyes. You were shaking just looking at him. He sighed and put his head down.

“Baby, that won’t happen again. It can’t happen again. From now on I’m sticking to regular punishments. I won’t use the belt again or hit you aside from spankings. I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

No response from you. Bucky placed soft kisses on your forehead, your nose and your lips before pulling the blanket over you. He left the room for a moment and you sighed, pulling the blanket over your head.

He always promised it wouldn’t happen again. He wouldn’t blow up again. He wouldn’t lose his temper again. But he always did. Sometimes you think he meant the apologies, meant that he didn’t want to hurt you. But there was always something in him that just snapped when you tried to break him out of his own head or imply that this situation was anything but normal.

When Bucky returned, you heard him set something down on the nightstand. You pushed yourself further into the bed. You felt him take a seat next to your aching body on the bed. He pulled the blanket from over your face.

“I brought you some water.”

You didn’t want it. It was never just water. He would give you sleeping pills at night so you would sleep earlier, you knew he crushed them and mixed them into your drinks. His reasoning was he wanted to keep you on a schedule. Little girls needed to abide by bedtime. You had learned a hard lesson not to fight him on it. The last time you did, he locked you in a closet until you begged and pleaded and apologized to him. Like you did something wrong.

Bucky was staring at you expectantly so you sat up and took the water. He smiled encouragingly and you sipped it. The sedatives were always tasteless so you couldn’t tell if it was there or not. Regardless, you were just now realizing how thirsty you were as you went about draining the glass. One of his hands strayed to your thigh.

“I know you’re upset with me, but I think we’re making progress. We both have some things to work on and I know it’ll get better. I only want to take care of you. You don’t have to worry about anything but being my sweet little girl. Speaking of which, I have a gift for you.”

Bucky always gave you lots of gifts. Especially after he had an episode like this. Last time it was a pair of gold earrings shaped like ice cream cones. He pulled a little blue velvet box out of his pocket and gave it to you. You pried the box open quickly. Inside was a gold charm bracelet with a few charms of random things, a book, a piece of candy, a purse. After turning the bracelet a few different ways, the inscription on the inside revealed itself.

Princess.

Somehow that was better than baby girl but it still turned your stomach. “Aren’t you going to say thank you?”

“Thank you, Daddy,” you said instinctively. Bucky got upset when you weren’t polite around him. 

A little smirk crossed his face and he shook his head. “You know that’s not what I meant. That isn’t the only way you can use your mouth to say thank you.”

If you did what he wanted, that would make all of this easier. You could do that for the night. You would do it just to get him to leave you alone for a little while. Pulling your blanket off, you slid to your knees in front of him. The carpet dig into your skin painfully but you tried to ignore it. Bucky pet your head affectionately before starting to undo his belt.

His heavy length was held out in front of you, as he stroked himself. His hand gripped your hair tightly as he tipped your head back.

“Be a good girl and say ahh.” You opened your mouth and he slid in without stopping, not until he was firmly held in your throat. You coughed and choked around him but he held your head to his hips until your breathing steadied. Tears fell from your eyes as you tried to breathe through your nose. He pulled your head back and slammed into your throat again. He hushed you as you cried, stroking your hair.

“Shh, baby. Your mouth is so good. Suck on Daddy like one of your lollipops, okay?”

He thrusted into your throat again and you swallowed around him. Your only goal was to get this over with. When he pulled back again, you wrapped your hand around him while you sucked in the head of his cock. Your hand was in a vice grip around him as you licked around him. You used your teeth very lightly as you brought your tongue up his length and he groaned. Bucky pulled your hand off of him and resumed fucking your face as he was before, this time with a bit more urgency.

“My good little slut. You love the taste of Daddy’s cock, huh? You want my love in your mouth? Down your pretty throat? I’m so fucking close. I want you to swallow all of it.”

He pushed as far as he could into your throat, holding himself there as he came. His warm cum oozed down your throat and flooded your mouth. When he let you go, you had a coughing fit in an attempt to get some air back in your lungs. Bucky picked you up and laid you back on the bed. He chose to lay between your thighs, staring at your glistening core.

“Princess, you’re soaked. You want me to take care of you?”

You nodded, shame pooling deep in your stomach. He leaned over to reach in the nightstand and pulled something out. Your vibrator. Something he had taken from your apartment when he took you. He flipped the switch and slid it inside you, maneuvering it until you twitched from the sensation. He smiled and left it in that spot before kissing up your thighs. Little bruises were left behind as he nibbled and sucked at you. His tongue lashed against your clit before he wrapped his mouth around it to suck. Instinctively you tried to reach down to grab his hair, but he pushed your arms down to your sides.

You ground your hips into his face shamelessly as the vibrator worked against your G spot. He worked you up until you were shaking.

“Please, can I come?” you begged. He got upset when you didn’t ask first. Bucky never looked up but shook his head before sucking harder at you. Your vision went blurry as you tried to focus on not cumming. Bucky looked up with a smirk on his face.

“What’s that? My pretty little whore wants to come all over my tongue? But only good girls get to do that. Have you been a good girl?”

“Yes,” you managed to get out. He hit the button again and the vibrator picked up speed inside you. You nearly screamed, arching your back and thrashing against the bed. When you tried to squirm closer to his face, Bucky stopped the vibrator and pulled it out before taking his mouth away from you. You whined in frustration but he laughed, slapping your clit lightly and making you jolt. Bucky climbed further up the bed and flipped you onto your stomach.

“Ass up,” he demanded. You arched your back, pushing your ass out for him. He kneaded your ass before spanking you. You whimpered in pain.

His cock slapped again your clit a few times before he slid into you completely. He braced one hand on the headboard and the other around your waist.

“Who’s pussy is this?” he breathed against your ear.

“Yours.”

“Who’s pussy is this?” He slammed into you roughly, hitting your cervix and making you cry out in pain.

“It’s Daddy’s pussy,” you corrected yourself. He smiled into your hair before pushing into you again.

His hips slapped against yours roughly as he fucked you into the mattress. Your arms gripped tightly around a pillow while you panted and moaned into it. You didn’t want it. You never did. But he would always take you like this and he would always make sure you came. Just to add the extra dose of humiliation. That way he could reason that you wanted it, that you were enjoying yourself or even that he was taking care of your needs. After all, he knew what was best. He hit a spot that had you seeing stars and he could tell by the way you squeezed around him. His hand snaked around to your front to rub tight circles on your clit.

“Oh, princess. Daddy loves when you squeeze him like that. You’re doing so good. You’re so perfect. Daddy’s going to give you his cream.”

You hated him. You hated that you were about to come on his cock. Even though you couldn’t help what he was doing to you or how it felt, it still made you feel dirty.

“Can I come? Please?” you asked. Bucky kissed your cheek.

“Say you love me and I’ll let you come.”

“I love you. I love you, Daddy. Please just let me come. I can’t stop it.”

“Oh fuck. Come all over me, baby girl.”

The pressure building inside you exploded and you came, writhing against the sheets. You nearly passed out as your release covered his cock and dripped down your thighs. Bucky groaned into you ear, speeding toward his own end.

“That’s my good girl. Squirting all over me. Fuck, that was hot.”

You fought to keep your eyes open when he moaned into your neck, filling you with his cum. Bucky laid a few kisses down your spine before pulling out of you and pulling you to lay on top of him. He kissed your lips before you fell asleep.

“Goodnight, princess.”

“Goodnight, Daddy.”

[hopevalley]

Season 8, Episode 8: A Parade and a Charade

A lot happened in this last episode so there’s plenty to discuss! I’ll try to keep my thoughts...a manageable length. :)

Plotlines:

The Christopher Report

Triangle Tribulations

Bill’s Wounded Pride

Miscellaneous Stuff (FloYo, The Canfields, Dress Shop, Jesse, Infirmary)

This episode has been a little different from the others this season in that we had two pretty big plotlines going on, one medium-sized one, and a bunch of small flickers of plots. Things still managed to flow together pretty well over all, though, I think, but it was a shift I felt was noticeable.

For what it’s worth I mostly enjoyed this episode. There were a few little nitpicks (as usual) but I’ve really been feeling this season that we have a good batch of actors that work really well together and that’s been nice to see.

--

The Christopher Report

Mr. Christopher Hughes, resident Bad Boy™ and the object of Rachel’s immense and expansive Thirst™... 

I’m sure his character arc is going to match that of the average Adopted Child. That is to say, I feel that his arc will follow the same patterns that characters of his archetype usually do. He hates his biological parent who abandons him but becomes curious against his better judgment. He meets his biological father and feels anger/resentment at first, but there’s something there that feels Human and he can’t ignore it. Over time he starts to care, again against his better judgment. In Christopher’s case, it seems likely that the original reason for striking up a relationship will present itself later in the story (perhaps not this season, but next); it won’t be a wholesome attempt to connect, but rather an intent to bamboozle.

Remember Rosemary’s words from earlier: she knows a performance when she sees one. But we’ll get to that.

It’s a good idea for a storyline, and I have some faith in the payoff being worth it if we keep the same head writer for next season. This is the kind of thing best explored over a period of time and they’re doing well with the pacing. 

This episode, we first see Christopher when he surprises Rachel at the dress shop.

He mentions they haven’t taken in the sights in town yet, and Rosemary overhears from the back room. She asks him what sights and he switches his story to saying that he was thinking that Rosemary and Lee could take both he and Rachel around town and show them everything. Rosemary says it’s a great idea and of cOURSE they can do that! As soon as Christopher is gone, Rosemary starts lecturing Rachel on the type of freedom she’s trying to experience in Hope Valley. She pretty much says she and Lee don’t approve of Christopher while Rachel ignores her and sneaks out the back door.

The very next scene Christopher surprises Rachel again, but this time with a, uh...hands on approach.

He tells her he’s not afraid of her aunt or uncle, and she says she knows he’s not afraid of Lee because she saw him steal his pocketwatch when he arrived in town. He’s surprised that she didn’t say anything and he calls her “a little sneak.” She starts throwing things at him playfully and he asks, “You’re not afraid of me?” She says she isn’t and he tells her he’s as gentle as a lamb.

She says she doubts that, and he walks through the fire of her throwing hats (or whatever they are) at him and grabs her wrists. She takes the opportunity to kiss him and he laughs. They’re broken up by the sound of people coming closer so he tells her he’ll come to her house tonight and to listen for a sound at her window.

In the next scene, Henry walks into Nathan’s office where Bill seems to be...assisting Nathan? That’s my best guess as to what’s going on. Bill strikes up a conversation with Henry and Henry says they could have gotten drinks to chat if that’s what Bill wanted (it seems very Small Talky but Bill ain’t that kind of man). In fact, Bill destroys the peaceful atmosphere instantly and makes it clear that this is a business discussion, and his questions were business-related.

If I was a bettin’ man I’d wager that Bill will piece together some problems in Hamilton with Christopher, but eh, let’s not overextend my brain just yet.

Bill’s first and only real question is to ask when Christopher arrived in town but Henry gets upset and says Bill just wants to blame someone. I’m surprised Henry didn’t mention the bad blood between him and Bill leading to this, but I’m pretty sure that’ll be coming in the future. Nathan comes in and says nobody’s accusing anyone, they just turned up at the same time so they have to check everything. 

Later, Christopher runs out of Henry’s office and to the infirmary yelling for help. Henry was having trouble breathing and he got dizzy. There’s a big commotion about it and Faith tells Christopher that his father has very high blood pressure and they’ve been struggling to get it under control.

Christopher hones in on Lucas and goes after him for hiring Henry back even though he knew he shouldn’t be working. Bill intervenes and stops Christopher from getting too close to Lucas.

(Aside: I haven’t lost hope that they’ll do something with Bill and Christopher, at least from the angle of Bill having raised Christopher’s (dead) half-brother (which means Henry abandoned two women and two children straight-up), but I am starting to think it won’t happen this season.)

Around dinnertime, Henry talks with Carson and is in a good mood. When Carson asks why he’s had a sudden change of heart with wanting to get better (health-wise), he says Christopher called him “Dad” when he was worried about him, and it makes him want to do better because it means Christopher cares about him.

Y’all...that scene was so good. But. BUT. I feel like Henry has a big storm comin’ as it relates to Christopher. I just hope Henry’s self-improvements don’t backslide when he inevitably ends up disappointed in Christopher for one reason or another.

Outside, Christopher is sitting on the steps of Dottie’s Apparel across the way from the café and Rachel approaches him. She asks why he didn’t come to see her and he gets sassy about it, but she actually seems to understand exactly what he’s going through and calls him out excessively gently about it. I don’t like her instant attachment to Christopher but they’re young and dumb and at least she seems to Get Him.

She tells him that he’s not having dinner with his dad because he’s scared—scared of getting close to him, scared of feeling an attachment to him. The only way to protect himself from that attachment, and from the inevitable loss that you will one day experience in regards to them, is to not let it form in the first place.

He asks her what the solution is and she says he needs to take a chance. And then she ruins it by saying “Like when you stole Uncle Lee’s watch.” ?????? This is definitely some Into Bad Boys Teenage Girl Logic right there. There is literally no connection.

She gives him his handkerchief back and when he mentions it still has her lipstick on it, she says, “I know.” THIS GIRL IS TRYING TO GET HER A MAN AND SHE IS TRYING VERY HARD. I wouldn’t be surprised if these were things she read about in her tame bodice ripper novels though LMAO.

They then share a kiss and he promises to come and see her the next day at the store.

Rosemary and Lee mention to Elizabeth that Rachel’s mom wants her to come back home right away, and the next morning Rachel confides in Rosemary that she’s afraid that once she’s back in Bellingham she won’t ever be allowed to return to Hope Valley. Rosemary explains to her that she shouldn’t worry about that; leave it all up to her instead.

Christopher is busy working, digging a trench. He’s getting out some of his frustration and anger by doing this and Lucas seems a bit annoyed by him but otherwise accepting of his, uh, issues. At least...for now. Lucas seems to have come up to the worksite to suggest Christopher spend more time with Henry, as he feels bad that he didn’t realize Henry’s health was actually as bad as it was. 

But Christopher won’t go and just keeps angrily digging his ditch, and in fact he’s so consumed by this he doesn’t notice when Rachel leaves town. When he’s on break, he comes back into town only to find that the store is locked up for the day.

Seeing as how Rachel just found out the night before that she was leaving town, I think it’s plausible to imagine that...he doesn’t know she’s actually Gone. I almost feel bad for him.

Honestly, this young man is a whiz of an actor. He’s likable in that Fun Character kind of way where you never know if you should root for him or not. I’m not the type of person who generally likes characters like this, but color me intrigued. This show rarely has interesting characters in it that get to remain interesting. I hope Christopher gets to develop for the next couple of seasons if indeed they choose to keep him around. The guy can act! He plays funny, slimy, rude, arrogant, emotional, and even twitterpated really well, and he ain’t afraid to get dirty to sell the part. I respect that.

Can I just say how sorry for Henry I feel though, knowing—or at least feeling—that he will be blindsided in the near future with Christopher’s uh...faults? Woof.

--

Triangle Tribulations

There’s a huge part of me that doesn’t even want to discuss this. I just want to say, “That’s a yikes from me, Chief” and move on to the next point. It seems easier. And less awkward. And also...let’s be honest: I have no horse in this race.

I don’t care that much about Elizabeth as a character, and I care even less about what gentleman she might choose to set her sights on in the long run. 

But it’s become the central talking point of the show, so let’s discuss it!

Three years is a perfectly acceptable mourning period, but I think the show’s inability to hold its horses these last couple of years is just now catching up to it in the worst way. It puts Elizabeth in this awkward position where she has men interested in her and the show has framed her as being ready ish to move on, but then a new writer stepped in and was told to make sure the triangle lasted through most of the 8th season. How can he make it last when things have been set up for her to move on? Uhh, quick! Come up with something!

Oh, realism! She’s not actually ready to move on!

I mean, I don’t blame John Tinker for this. I blame the writer for S6 and S7 that rushed through the storytelling and gave us...whatever that was, where two men showed up out of nowhere and both set eyes on Elizabeth. I blame the marketing that made sure to sell S6 and S7 for the love triangle instead of the family-friendly or heartwarming elements of the story. It’s really sad that the triangle has come to...this. It didn’t have to. If they hadn’t tried making it a central point in S6 (literally months after Jack died when nobody was ready to really move on and nobody felt that Elizabeth would be ready, either) I don’t think things would be so awful, but it’s too late to go back, now.

Don’t get me wrong, the triangle feels pretty good this season. It’s tense. It’s interesting. Lucas really has shone in this season thus far (instead of coming across as creepy as he sometimes did for the first two seasons he was in), and Nathan is learning to be a little more...forthcoming with his feelings. I guess.

But it should have been S7. S7 should have had this level of care put into it for the triangle so that S8 was a chance for the choice to get some air.

Anyway, I’m not happy with it. I’m glad it’s almost over. I just want it to end. I do not care who the choice is, I just want her to choose.

In this episode, she confronted Nathan right out of the gate, and he wasn’t exactly pleased about it. She acts like he went into the adoption ceremony knowing damn well what Allie had done, but he insists he didn’t know and seems a bit hurt that Elizabeth would accuse him of being mean to her when he tells her that Allie’s list didn’t even have her on it.

Elizabeth later mentions this as a truth (the list, her name not being on it), so I don’t know what we’re supposed to think here. I’m gonna go with: her feelings were hurt and she lashed out.

Nathan’s temper is apparently done with Lucas, as he tells him to Save It at the end of the scene. I want to say I’m living for it but Lucas hasn’t really...done anything wrong, so...it feels misplaced.

(I want to say something about the fans being divided and this feeling more like fanservice/an attempt to stir the pot than anything that makes any sense.)

Elizabeth goes on to spend a little time with Lucas and it was very cool to see his office for the first time ever! Also, “pardon my French” was actually pretty funny here.

Nathan wants to talk to Allie about the adoption ceremony catastrophe but is called away before they can sit down and talk, which Allie is...sad about...for some reason? I guess even if it’s negative attention it’s better than no attention? That seems in line with her age. Elizabeth comments to Lucas about feeling sorry for Allie and wanting to comfort her, but in my opinion this is kind of misplaced and Lucas points out that he doesn’t mind her sharing a friendship with Nathan, but that...he doesn’t think Nathan will settle for it.

I’d probably be against Lucas on this matter but I already know that Lucas is right. Elizabeth seems to not to want to believe that but...I dunno. Part of the problem is that in a town this size, it’s really hard to have space. She wants to forget Nathan and focus on Lucas, but she’s constantly seeing both Allie and Nathan, and that makes it hard.

Around dinnertime she goes to Lucas’s office and he begs off dinner because he’s just not in a good state of mind after the whole thing with Henry, and he also seems like he’s had a few drinks. She offers to let him sit with her and it’s...uh...very cozy (probably the closest two bodies have ever been to one another on this show, hahaha).

He says he doesn’t want to be impatient and that she should leave. Which she does.

Fanning herself.

The next morning, Nathan approaches Lucas at the oil derricks to tell him that he hasn’t given up on Elizabeth just yet, to which...Lucas says he can do whatever he wants, but he needs to make sure he has the best interests of Allie and Elizabeth in mind, not his own. Nathan tries to say something else to him and Lucas says, “Save it.”

Which is fair and valid. I’d respect it more if Nathan’s “save it” had felt more believable earlier, though.

Either way, I’m at a point in this series where I’m starting to think Nathan’s just being selfish. His writing took an absolute beating in this episode and this isn’t even the worst part!

Allie invites Elizabeth to dinner. I hated this scene mostly because I think it will only make the hatred for Allie worse. Team Lucas fans tend to hate her because she acts so unreasonably and this scene was the worst example of it so far. She’s a young teenage girl (13/14 years old I’d guess) but this childish illustration card? Is something a 9 year old might pull (circumstances considered).

I’d find it more plausible if we just had more time with Allie, but we get so little and everything we’ve been getting hasn’t felt...quite right to me lately. I could understand the whole “inviting only Elizabeth and Nathan” because that’s actually quite clever of her, and even funny. She’s young and doesn’t understand the...bigger picture, or the Adult Feelings involved. I’m fine with it. But this? Oh please. They’re not doing Allie any favors.

I think she could have done something else that was more in line with her age. It could still be cringey, but not...like this. I’m certain it was meant to be a sassy response to being scolded because neither of them were aware they were the only ones invited (and Allie’s hand-drawn invitation makes it clear they’re the only two invited lol), but...eh.

The very next scene is Elizabeth confronting Nathan, though, which I do appreciate. This thing with Allie is so far out of hand by this point that he needs to absolutely sit her down and have a VERY serious heart-to-heart. She’s hurting and it feels like nobody is telling her the right thing.

Just before the adoption ceremony Nathan told her that Elizabeth was seeing Mr. Bouchard and Allie complained but Nathan did a great job of telling her that they should be happy that Elizabeth is happy and I LOVED THAT. So why does it feel like he didn’t mean any of it? Why didn’t he confront any of the other things Allie is probably feeling? 

Like, you know...that Elizabeth can still be her friend even if she’s seeing Mr. Bouchard?

Elizabeth asks Nathan for a word, and when she tells him that she wants to speak with Allie he tells her that Allie is home and is afraid to talk to Elizabeth without him being there. 

She asks why Allie is afraid but the fanfare starts for Bill, and Nathan doesn’t want to be rude but Elizabeth insists on continuing their conversation. 

Elizabeth tells him she was afraid it would happen if things didn’t work out between them.

Nathan says he doesn’t know what to tell her. He’s tried talking to Allie but nothing he says has convinced her that Elizabeth isn’t to blame. Elizabeth tells him that she thinks Allie should blame her because it’s Nathan she’s attached to/loves.

Their conversation is paused for a moment by Bill’s appearance but they pick right back up after Bill rides away on his horse. She says she tried to tell him at the parent/teacher conference that he is everything to Allie and he says he knows that, and that’s why he’s trying really hard not to show Elizabeth how he feels about her, and it’s why he turned down the promotion to inspector.

He wanted to leave but he couldn’t do it because Allie was so happy in Hope Valley. Elizabeth says that’s why they have to figure out how to make things okay again, because he said it himself, he stayed because Allie was happy!

He said, no, I said that was part of the reason.

And he looks away like he didn’t mean to say that, like in saying that, he’s said Too Much. And this isn’t about his feelings. This is...something else.

Elizabeth has suspected all along that he was hiding something and not telling her the whole truth about Fort Clay, but this behavior isn’t like him and she calls him out on it. She says she knows he’s hiding something and she wants to know what it is.

He tells her that at Fort Clay he was in charge of the training mission, not Jack. But he was disciplined for an earlier incident and they sent Jack instead. He says he’s sorry but there was never the right time to tell her.

The episode ends there.

I am...disappointed. I was hoping it would be something small that might have still weighed on his mind, like finding Jack’s body—having never met the man, having never known him, it would be so odd to know his wife and the home he loved but to have never known him. And to never really have a right to...ask about it either because it’s not your place.

But no, they really had to go there. They really had to make it like that. We’ve been guessing this since Nathan arrived in town as a possibility and I wish it had never happened.

I agree with all the people who think that there would be no point in the love triangle without Nathan being end-game, but ugh.

I’m fine with forgiveness and moving on, but back in S5 and S6 I made it very clear how I felt about the direction they were taking Abigail and Henry. For the purpose of clarification, Henry was actively awful (he was cruel to Abigail many times over and was part of the VERY DIRECT reason her husband and son died) and that was the biggest reason I opposed it. I think comparatively Nathan is harmless. But... I dunno.

It feels to me like they really want to tell that Type of story and...I’m not a fan. You can forgive someone without hooking up with them. In fact, that’s a way better moral to be dropping on this specific audience anyway.

I’m mostly disgusted at Nathan and have to now worry how they will write Lucas next to make sure he’s on equal ground. :(

Maybe Nathan’s posting in Hope Valley wasn’t out of guilt but the way he reacted to Elizabeth sure makes it seem like it was. Like he chose to come to Hope Valley to keep an eye on Jack’s family. And if it stayed at a friendship level I could respect it. I might even like it.

But... ugh. I mean, Nathan feels guilty. He knows his actions indirectly killed Jack. No, he is not to blame for it and I don’t think he blames himself—at least not in a traditional way. But the knowledge is there. He should have kept his feelings to himself. He should have NEVER decided he wasn’t going to give up on Elizabeth after she walked away from him. She didn’t say no but she shouldn’t have to. 

So he knew he was indirectly responsible for Jack’s death and he still let himself tell Lucas he wasn’t giving up on her. What the hell? 

I guess you can consider me #teamstaysingle now.

--

Bill’s Wounded Pride

This wasn’t a long or deep storyline but I wanted to dig into it a little bit since Bill’s my favorite character and all.

I really appreciate that they are giving Lee a chance to be a good listener. He got kind of overshadowed by Rosemary’s personality a bit in the past so it’s good to see a consistent show of it now. He’s so nice to Bill. I don’t feel like they’re great buds, but there’s a kind of...mutual respect there that has definitely been earned on both sides. Lee’s offer to listen to Bill vent was really nice.

After Bill goes off on Henry (sorta? barely?) Nathan calls Bill out for placing blame on Christopher by association of Henry, since he knows he and Henry have some bad blood between them.

But then Nathan kind of gets this self-righteous ramble about how maybe he’ll feel differently when he’s asked to hand in his serge, but it’s not helping Bill to prolong the process/put it off.

Which...while Nathan has a point, he’s just written throughout this entire episode like a selfish jerk. I get that he’s not that attached to his uniform (he’s younger, he’s willing to quit to settle down and marry), but you’d think he’d have a little sympathy for someone whose entire career was the Mounties and who is struggling to give up the last connection he has to that part of his life.

If Nathan was 18 or 19 I’d feel his reaction would be fully believable, but he’s probably in his 30s and should have a little more emotional maturity than this. 

Again, yes, Bill should just get rid of the uniform and be done with it. But it’s not as if Bill doesn’t know that. He’s struggling! A word of encouragement might help more than telling him to rip the bandaid off. If he talked this way to Allie it’s no wonder she’s so messed up.

Later that morning, Molly greets Lee about the lumber shipment Carson ordered for the infirmary and Jesse is grumpy. She jokes that she’s dealing with that, too, but with Carson and Faith. Lee adds that Bill is also in a bad mood, because he has to turn in his uniform. They briefly discuss that nobody has ever seen him in uniform.

Lee tells Molly that she’s in charge of fixing everyone else’s problems and leaves.

The next day, Bill walks into Nathan’s office to see Molly spying on his stuff...

She claims she’s there to wish him a good trip and he says he’s not looking forward to riding all the way to Hamiliton. She mentions his uniform and he’s surprised she knows about it, but says only that “word gets around.”

Bill says yeah, well, he should have told them that if they want it so bad they should come and get it. Molly tells him that “rules and regulations can strip a man of his pride.” Which is. A weird line of dialogue but okay. 

Bill tells her that it was a proud day when he put the uniform on—even though back then it didn’t have any of the decorations on it, of course. She says he must have felt ten feet tall he and replies with, “Ten years and three months.”

You know it meant a lot to him if he remembers the exact amount of years he wore the damn thing. Molly encourages him to try it on and he tries to excuse it by saying it doesn’t fit. She tells him he’s hard to read (probably because she thought he wanted the excuse to try it) but he’s “worth it, cover to cover.”

She goes on to say that “WE” know that turning it in means a great deal to him, so it means a great deal to his friends, too, and as he should know, the uniform doesn’t make the man.

She goes to leave and tells him it will definitely fit (HAHA maybe she was checking that while he was gone) and to do everyone a favor and put on a good show.

A short time later, Mike and a couple of others from town start playing some fanfare music outside the Mountie HQ and Bill emerges.

He’s touched by it, but also maybe a little confused lol, and asks them if they know that he’ll be right back.

And then...it’s off and away with Bill.

I’d have liked this storyline so much more if it felt...deeper? A little extra fanfare for him is nice, but it doesn’t really...deal with any of the emotions he feels. That said, I’m almost certain this is to get him to Hamilton where he might run into Christopher’s parents and/or hear more information about potential misdeeds of Christopher to move that plot along. 

--

Miscellaneous Short Plots

FloYo: Florence and Ned were cute but I wish they hadn’t tried to do anything with it in this episode. We didn’t really need to see Ned being grumpy about things as a like...Moment. It just didn’t feel very meaningful even though they had that cutesy “nobody can replace you” resolution. This episode was a bit of a miss for them for me because of that. And hey, don’t get me wrong; I generally like them, but trying to make everything wholesome all the time gets draining and there was so much other stuff that felt more rewarding to me comparatively.

The Canfields: Very cute, good. I need to know what Joseph’s plans are. And Angela learning braille and being so sweet... AHHHHHH I LOVED HER.

Dress Shop: I’m disappointed they had this plotline drag out for episode after episode and then die out. I guess it could be interesting if they blew it wide open by Dottie selling it at the end of the season to someone unexpected, but what bored me about this was that nobody was that stressed out about the situation and nobody seemed relieved that Dottie wasn’t selling. I’ll hold out hope that something comes of it anyway.

Jesse: FINALLY. I appreciated that he and Mike got to talk. It explains where Jesse was all that time...and Mike is a good friend. I love him. I hope he gets more screentime next season because he honestly deserves it. Also, I’m glad Jesse went to talk to Clara and asked if they could sit and talk. SIT AND TALK. YES PLEASE. Thank you. It was a simple step forward but I really appreciate it. Also, the Canfields and Bill hightailing it out of there as soon as Jesse shows up...haha.

Infirmary: GOODBYE HAM SANDWICH CARSON. I mean... I’m of two minds. Expanding the infirmary would be a good idea. It wouldn’t hurt to have a little more room for patients that might need to recover for longer, and to have a little bit more privacy for them. On the other hand, Carson’s sudden lashing out against the Hope Valley infirmary is...odd. I loved how he and Faith both got so excited but for different reasons that culminated in a completely different mindset. You can tell Carson really wants to go to Boston but feels weird about it. I love Faith’s dedication to the town.

--

My brain feels dry and crusty after typing all this up, and I didn’t proofread it at all, so sorry in advance if there are any errors in it. As always, I’m looking forward to the drama next episode, particularly with Carson and Faith (BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP).

I’m still kind of stunned they went the route they did. I find it hard to imagine that Elizabeth is capable of a choice within the next four episodes, but I guess we’ll have to see what’s in store for us.

Also, for a little laugh, my husband watched the full episode with me for the first time in a few seasons. He was pleasantly surprised by Angela Canfield and said that he liked “the property brother.” I think he’s #TeamLucas but he told me later last night that actually they’re both fine and he’d take either one for himself if the opportunity arose LMAO.

What are your thoughts on this episode? Opinions?

[mayraki]

The Trained Assassin.

Spencer Reid series. Part 6.

Not my gif! Credits to the owner.

Summary: Life’s not easy when you found out that instead of being trained to be a spy for the CIA, you are being trained to be an assassin, a killer. The people you wanted to stop, they were making you one. That’s when you joined the BAU to become someone new, you didn’t want to be someone’s toy. You wanted your past to be arrased, that’s all. But it’s not easy to hide a past like that.

MASTERLIST

“Maxim”

Having the weekend off was not what you wanted, you wanted to go back to work on Friday but Hotch insisted you to take the day off and the weekend as well. He knew that you weren’t alright since the last case, and he was right.

God, I hate profilers.

You weren’t able to sleep well and you didn’t have the appetite to eat anything. You had big bags under your eyes and since Hotch noticed that you couldn’t keep your hands out of a cup of coffee he made the decision to make you have three days off.

“Good job, number 15!” The coach of the basketball team said to one of his students.

You saw your little brother, Maxim, with his curls all over his face and when he saw you he waved with a big smile on his face.

“What are you doing here?” He said once the practice was over. He was all sweaty from the running and he had his big t-shirt on.

“Well, I’m not working right now. So I decided to come and see my little brother. Is that wrong? I can’t see you now?” You said pretending to be hurt.

“No! It’s not that. I mean how did you get in? I thought family couldn’t come in practice on a private school”

“Well, little brother, your big sis has connections.” You winked at him. “I was thinking...” you put your arm around his shoulders “since I have this weekend off, would you like to come and spend it with me?”

He gave you a bigger smile and hugged you “Sure! Let me pack my things, I’ll be ready in five minutes.” And he took off like his life depended on it. You laughed and waited for him at the giant outside door of his school.

“Can we watch Star Wars?” He asked once you two finished dinner.

It was Saturday night and the last two days went amazingly. You missed your little brother more than ever and you wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, with your work and his school it was impossible to spend an entire day together. So you wanted to save this weekend on you memory and remember every single detail.

“Really? Max, you always want to watch Star Wars. Let’s pick something else, I think I can say the entire lines from Star Wars 2 perfectly.”

“It’s not ‘Star Wars 2’” he mocked you “it’s Star Wars episode V: the empire strikes back. And you would know that if you watched it with me tonight.” You laughed.

“First of all, that’s not how I talk! Secondly... sure. You win.”

He applauded excited “I always win.” He said with pride.

“Sure, little one.”

You were half into the movie when you heard knocking on your door. Both of you turned your heads to the door and Max paused the movie.

“Stay here.” You said and got up. “Who is it?”

“It’s Spencer.” The voice said on the other side.

What the hell is he doing here on a Saturday night at 10 pm?

You opened the door and Spencer was there with a big bag on his hand.

“Hi.” He said and Max appeared next to you.

“Who are you?” He said suspicious.

“Hi...?” Spencer said looking at Max and then at you looking confused.

“Spencer, this is Max, my little bother. Max, this is Spencer, I work with him in the BAU.”

Spencer recognised the little boy. He was the one that you had on your desk, the picture that you hanged up your first day.

“I— you weren’t answering your cellphone. I thought something was wrong.” He said still looking at Max who wasn’t trusting Spencer at all.

“Well, you saw that she’s ok. You can go now.” Max said trying to close the door but you stopped him.

“Max.” He looked at you with a serious face. He mumbled a ‘sorry’ and you went back to Spencer.

“I brought something to eat. Some snacks. I know how much you like them...”

“Food?” Max said watching the bag “Ok, you can come in.” He said after seconds of thinking about it.

He stood aside and Spencer walked in.

“Hey, I think I need to remind you that this is my apartment.”

Max turned to you and hold up the bag Spencer gave to him “But he brought food! I think is really rude if you take the bag and let him outside, y/n”

You opened your mouth with surprise but you couldn’t help it and let out a little laugh “I taught you well.” You said sarcastically and Spencer laughed.

“You were watching Star Wars?” Spencer asked looking at the TV.

Max nodded “you like it?” He said putting the Doritos on a bowl.

“Love it. One of my favorites after Star Strek.”

“Oh my god, I have two nerds in this house now, this is going to be a long night.” You said jokingly.

“Favorite character?” Max asked. “Answer quick and there is a wrong answer.”

“Chewbacca, of course. And Luke Skywalker is my second.”

“Nice.” Max said almost in a whisper. “You know, I can tell you’re cool. I thought you were a jerk who was trying to get into my sister’s pants but now I see that you’re more than that.”

You opened your mouth with surprise and Spencer chocked on his drink. “Max!” You said and he turned to you with ‘innocence’ in his face.

“What? C’mon. It’s Saturday night and he brought snacks expecting to come into your house, he knows you wouldn’t say no. It’s not that big of deal. He’s a man, y/n, you should know that. I’m 13, i might be young, but I’m not stupid.” He said giving you a smile and going back to the sofa to keep watching the movie.

You couldn’t believe what Max just said, and you didn’t want to admit it but he was kind of right.

“I’m sorry...” you said looking at Spencer.

“It’s ok... I guess that is the impression that I gave him. But it’s not true.” He said quickly “I did come here to see if you were ok.”

“I believe you, don’t worry.” You said with a smile.

He seemed relieved and you let out a little laugh.

***

“You know, I don’t know if this is an unpopular opninion or not, but I kinda liked the end of Star Wars.” Max said without breaking the eye contact with the TV.

It was almost midnight when you three started watching the next movie of the franchise. You were sitting down at the couch but Spencer and Max were sitting down at the floor so they could see the TV better.

Spencer was across from you when he started talking about his opinion on something, you couldn’t understand what it was because they started talking about some fiction and space stuff you didn’t know.

So you took the chance to look at him in detail. The way his hands moved when he was saying a weird fact, he had a sharp jawline and it tensed every time he closed his mouth. His lips moved quickly and his eyes didn’t look away from the screen. His skin looked like it was very soft and your hands moved unintentionally because they wanted to feel it.

He let his left hand rest on his thigh and the thought of him touching yours made an appearance on your mind. His fingers going up and down, making you feel worm inside while he was kissing you...

“Y/n!” Your brother called you and took you back to reality.

“Yeah?” You said trying to not sound nervous at the thought of your imagination.

“Could you bring me more water?” He said without taking his eyes from the TV.

“Am I your servant now?” You said raising your left eyebrow.

“Sorry!” He said thinking of his previous actions but when he was about to stand up Spencer stopped him.

“I’ll do it, I know this part like the palm of my hand.”

“Thank you!” Max said.

You watched him go to the counter of you kitchen and he opened the fridge. His shirt went up a little bit when he lifted his arm to open the water bottle and you unintentionally bit you lower lip. When you noticed you moved uncomfortably on the couch and tried to move your attention to the movie but the sound of the water doing down the glass cup made you look.

Spencer’s tongue went over his lips and the tough of it licking your skin made you close your eyes and smacking you on the inside because you didn’t want to have those kinda thoughts.

You turned your body so it would face the TV and not the kitchen but your eyes wanted to go back to him. You tried so hard to not go back until Spencer came into the living room. But instead of going back to his last position, after giving the glass to Max, he sat down next to you close enough so your shoulders would slightly touch.

Does he know what he’s doing?

You were glad the movie was over minutes later and that Spencer offered himself to clean the mess him and Max did while watching the movie.

This was new to you, you were always the one that made the first move, you were never the one who falls first and the fact that he wasn’t even trying made your heart go down to the floor even more.

“What time is it?” Max asked while he was doing the dishes.

“Almost 1 am.” Spencer said and you got close to your little brother.

“It’s pretty late, you should go to bed.” You said and Max give you his famous puppy eyes.

“But... it’s Sunday tomorrow!”

“You told me that you had homework for the weekend and you haven’t done it yet, you’re not going to wake up late tomorrow.”

“One more hour.” He smiled and hugged you “you know that you’re an amazing big sister and the best friend I could ever ask for?”

“You’re not going to win, but you can stay until 1:30 am. And say thanks to Spencer because I’m doing this because he’s here.”

Spencer gave you a smile and Max hugged him after letting you go.

“Thank you, thank you so much for coming.”

He laughed “You’re welcome. Hey, do you want to see some magic tricks?”

“You know magic tricks?” Max said sounding surprised “You’re so cool. Hey, sis, don’t ever let him go.” He said when he left to look for the cards he had on his backpack.

“Max!” You whispered to him and Spencer just let out a little laugh.

Your little brother handed the cards to Spencer and he started the magic trick. He was moving the cards fast and his fingers were following every move he made. You couldn’t take your eyes off of them and the thought of them going up your arms appeared on your mind. They were tracing you body like it was a piece of art. But now it’s wasn’t only the fingers that were in your imagination, but Spencer was there too. He was looking at you with his beautiful dark eyes and his lips went to your stomach to leave little kisses on it. He was sitting down in your bed and you standing in front of him and...

“Wow!” Max said and took you back to reality “How did you do that?”

Fuck! I have to stop.

“I’ll teach you some.”

Oh, no. He’s not going to stop. I have to get out here.

“I’ll be right back.” You said and both of them nodded, Spencer give a you a little smile but you didn’t respond because you wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

You washed your face and looked for the time; 1:24 am. Six more minutes and the magic tricks were done because Max needed to go to bed. And the thought of you and Spencer being alone for the first time in the entire night made your heart skip a beat.

You were not usually like this, you never got nervous when it came to boys. You had your experience and even when it wasn’t for your personal life but for a mission, seducing mafia bosses and security guards like it was the easiest thing in the world. And for some reason you couldn’t handle a man who was doing magic tricks and touching your shoulder with his.

What is it about him?

You came back to the kitchen when the hour 1:30 hit on the clock and Max looked at you with excitement on his face.

“Hey, y/n! Let me show you a trick Spencer just teach me!”

“You’ll show it to me tomorrow, now it’s time for bed.”

He looked at the clock and his excitement went away completely.

“Ok.” He said turning to Spencer “I’ll see you. Bye.”

“Goodnight Max.”

“Yeah.” He said and went to his room.

“Want some tea?” You said and Spencer nodded.

“Sure.”

When you started to make the tea you felt his body walk behind you and stand next to you.

“Want some help?” He said almost in a whisper but you said ‘no’ with your head and gave him a little smile. You went to the other side of the kitchen to grab some mugs and pour the tea you just made into them.

“Here.” You handed the cup to Spencer and he thanked you giving you a big smile. “I guess you have some questions about Max.” You said remember the face he made when he met him.

He looked at the floor “I thought you didn’t have any family, that’s why I was so surprised.”

“I don’t have any blood family.”

He put on his thinking face and his tongue went over his lips. And before he asked any questions you started telling the story.

“When I was 22 I had a mission... I had to infiltrate a mafia boss’ bussiness. I had to get close to him and make him trust me. It was the longest undercover mission I went on. Making him trust me was not easy. He was one of the most frightening men that I’ve ever met. And worst, had to lie to. But when I was close enough, that’s when I met Maxim. He introduced him as his son. He was a scare 11 year old boy. We connected immediately. The things that he had to see when he was little, what he went through. This man wasn’t the loving father he needed. Later on I found out that this man abducted him when he was just a little baby. I finished the mission, the man went to jail and his business went down. The CIA decided to not involve anyone else and give Max up for adoption but I knew that its not easy getting adopted being a teenager. I didn’t want him to end up like me. So... I brought him home with me. I worked on a case with a detective, I saved his life and in returned I asked him if his brother would give Max a scholarship on his private school... that’s the story. I can’t believe that the scared boy that I met two years ago is the funny and smart kid that I know now. He’s so strong. We call each other like siblings because we are the only thing we have.”

“You took him in even tho you were so young...” he said looking at you in the eyes.

“I didn’t see myself as being ‘young’. And I didn’t care, I never got adopted and when I did, it was them. I didn’t want him to be like me.”

“Do you ever think what it would’ve happend if you got adopted when you were younger?” He put his empty cup on the counter and walked towards you so he can stand next to you.

“I used to. I try to think how can I make this life better and forget about the past. Try to make a great life for him and be... happy.” You looked up to him and he gave you a little smile.

“It’s weird how our lives can change in a matter of seconds. One day mine is really boring and the next I go on a date with an assassin.” He said jokingly and you laughed. You remembered the day that Spencer asked you to go for coffee on your first case together.

“Hey... I’m not an assassin, I’m just trained like one.” You smiled and looked at him in the eyes.

But unintentionally looked at his lips and he did the same, you felt the tension growing up in the room and everything that used to make you feel sad and unsafe, went away.

“Spencer...” you said “you said to me... ‘I need you alive.”

His eyes went up to yours and he gently grabbed your waist to get you closer to him. You moved on step forward and felt his chest touch yours.

“I do.” He said in a whisper and when he was about to get closer to you, his phone started to ring making you two jump and ruining the moment completely.

He took his phone out from his pocket and you read the name ‘Sophie’ on the screen. He hanged up and sighed.

“Sorry...” He said without looking at you.

“Are you sure your girlfriend is ok with you being here with me?” You said without even thinking. Anger grew in your body and went to the door to open it and Spencer followed you.

“Wait, y/n, she’s just a friend.”

“A friend that calls you at 2 am on a Saturday night? If she was really a close friends you wouldn’t hang up because the common thing to think when someone calls you out of nowhere at this hours it’s that something’s wrong unless the girl is not really a friend and that is a booty call. I am a good profiler too, Spencer. Goodnight.” Before he could say anything you closed the door and stand there, with the feeling of being lost back into your body.

*****

PART 7

taglist: @itsarayofsunshine @whothefuckstolemykeds @haykayhesson @enigma-xlii @introvertedsin @mylovehes @infires420 @uwu-sebastianstan @my-life-is-here-soo @spencersdolore @oldspirit

[dawninlatin]

Slow dancing and surprises

Part of the Manorian Teacher AU

Words: 3156

AO3 Link

This particular fic was requested by Anonymous (and several others): "Hey, any chance you could write a scene where Manon realizes she’s pregnant / tells Dorian she’s pregnant?" Hope you like it<3

The song referenced in this fic is Lover, You Should've Come Over by Jeff Buckley

Set a few weeks before «Online classes are the worst»

«Mr. Havilliard? Can I have a word with you?»

As the classroom door opened to reveal twenty pairs of prying eyes, Manon schooled her features into bored impatience, the look conveying that she was merely here to deliver an important, work-related message.

Dorian was standing with his back to her, facing the chalkboard, and when he turned around, Manon had to remind herself that one; she was at work, she couldn’t just run over and kiss him, and two; they had an audience, who didn’t know they were in a relationship.

He was wearing his glasses today, which made him look ten times sexier than usual, and his hair was slightly disheveled, a certain sign that he was currently talking about something intriguing. That, and the way his blue eyes glowed

How had she fallen in love with such a dork?

«Of course, Ms. Blackbeak,» Dorian answered, giving her a smirk. Manon only stared, her thoughts thankfully interrupted.

«Someone’s in trouble?» said a sing-song voice from the back of the classroom. Identifying the offender, she locked eyes with him and gave him a deadly look. He quickly averted his eyes, his face turning bright red, and Manon allowed herself a satisfied smirk.

Dorian headed for the door, but turned around and said to the room, «You can start reading on page 207 meanwhile.»

Stepping aside to let him through, Manon waited for the soft click indicating that they were now alone, and when she heard it, she let her mask fall, giving her boyfriend a warm look.

«I’ll never get used to you calling me Mr. Havilliard,» Dorian said, shaking his head.

«And why would it be unnatural for me to call you Mr. Havilliard? Our relationship is strictly professional, after all,» Manon teased, a smile playing on her lips.

Dorian grinned, and leaned in to press a soft kiss to her lips. «Would a colleague do this?» he whispered against her mouth.

«Most definitely,» Manon deadpanned. «Me and Lorcan really got it on in the storage room the other day.»

At the mention of the grumpy maths teacher, Dorian leaned his head back and howled. Manon and Lorcan’s mutual dislike of each other was no secret to anyone, honestly. Unfortunately for them, their respective subjects crossed paths more often than not.

«Can you be a bit quiet,» Manon hissed to Dorian when he kept laughing. «These walls aren’t exactly sound proof and I can’t have any kids thinking I have a sense of humor.»

«Right,» he whispered, pressing another kiss to her lips, his eyes crinkling in amusement.

Manon had nearly forgotten why she came here in the first place, but remembering they were in fact in public, she pressed her palms against his chest and pushed him away, saying, «I need your keys. I forgot mine this morning, and I’m heading home for the day.»

Dorian’s playful smirk was suddenly replaced by concern, and he took a step back so he could scan her from head to toe. A frown appeared on his face as he now noticed how pale she was, how she had dark circles under her eyes, which were a dull brown-ish colour instead of their usual molten gold.

«Are you okay?» He brought a hand to her forehead to check for a fever, but Manon swatted it away.

«I’ll be fine, you mother hen!» She just had to get home and take a nap before her headache killed her, or before she got so nauseous she puked all over her classroom.

Manon had been sick on and off for the past three weeks now, and she was officially over it. Too bad her body didn’t feel the same way. Today had been her first day back at work in a full week, but apparently she needed a day or two more on the couch, being bored out of her mind…

«Do you need me to drive you home?» Dorian still searched her with that concerning gaze, and Manon rolled her eyes at how warm it made her feel inside. Stupid feelings.

She tried shaking her head, but had to stop immediately as it sent a wave of throbbing pain through her head. «No, you have a class waiting for you. I can drive myself,» she said, adding, «Unless you need the car, of course.» Even her voice sounded weak.

Dorian looked ready to protest, but instead of saying anything, he merely tightened his lips.

«It’s fine, I can take the bus today. My keys are in my office,» he said at last, leading her down the hallway.

-

As they reached the teacher’s lounge, on their way to Dorian’s office, they discovered the room to be nearly empty, with the exception their favorite colleague, Yrene Towers. She was sitting at one of the tables, sipping a cup of coffee, and when she spotted the pair, her gaze quickly moved to their entangled hands, a satisfied smile spreading on her face.

«It’s been four years, Yrene, you surely must be getting used to seeing us together,» Manon said bluntly, but Yrene shook her head, letting out a happy sigh.

«Never,» the woman claimed. «You two are the most adorable couple ever, and it’s all thanks to me.» It was kind of charming, Dorian thought, to see her so invested in them.

And it was true, what she said. Had Yrene never decided to meddle in their private lives and send them on a work trip together, Dorian didn’t know where him and Manon would be today. Merely thinking of them not being together felt so wrong it physically pained him.

«To be honest, it was necessary to achieve a safe work environment,» Yrene said, Dorian raising an eyebrow in question. «Had I intervened even just a week later, the heavy sexual tension between you two would have suffocated us all.»

Manon snorted beside him, Yrene looking as smug as ever. Had it been anyone else, his girlfriend would have killed them on the spot.

«And for that we will be forever grateful,» Dorian said, placing a hand over his heart in mock gratitude.

Yrene brushed it off, saying, «You can thank me by making me the godmother of one of those inhumanly beautiful babies you’ll make.» Manon stiffened beside him, and both Yrene and Dorian shifted their attention to her. She looked even paler now than she had before.

«Are you okay?» Yrene asked. «You look a little…peaky.»

«Yeah,» Manon said, trying, but failing, to give them a reassuring smile. «I’m sure a nap and some food will make it better. Actually, I’m heading home right now.»

«Ah, I won’t halt you any longer then,» Yrene announced, getting up from her table. «Get well soon, Manon!» She gave Manon’s shoulder a squeeze as she passed them on her way out.

«I’ll go get those keys,» Dorian told his girlfriend, hurrying into his office.

When he came back out, keys in hand, Manon was standing the exact same way as he’d left her, staring into nothing. She didn’t register that he was back until he was standing in front of her.

«Here you go,» he said, handing her the set of keys. She gave him a small smile in return, but it didn’t meet her eyes. Instead, they had a distant look in them.

«Thanks,» she muttered so low he nearly didn’t hear it.

Dorian couldn’t shake off his worrying. It was unsettling to see his girlfriend so…weak. And for her to even admit she was sick…it had to be really bad.

Unable to stop himself, he asked once more, «Are you sure you don’t need me to come with you?»

«You stay, I just need to sleep it off,» she tried to convince him, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth. «See you in a few hours.»

And with that she was gone, Dorian left with a sinking feeling in his gut.

Something was wrong.

-

Manon lay on the couch, wrapped in a heavy blanket, an old episode of «Bill Nye, the Science Guy» playing on the TV. Except Manon wasn’t paying attention to the TV at all. No, all she could focus on was the brown paper bag laying on the kitchen table, it’s presence all-consuming.

She would take it in the morning, she had tried to convince herself. The results would be more accurate then, and she wasn’t sure she could do it without Dorian.

It’s only to rule it out, so you won’t have to worry, Manon thought, not believing it one bit.

And if she never took the test, it technically couldn’t be positive, right?

The thought hadn’t even crossed her mind until Yrene’s words earlier. But as soon as she’d said them, some part of Manon had known. It would certainly explain why she’d been feeling so queasy lately.

While driving home, her mind had been fighting a battle of what if’s and why not’s, the what if winning in the end, as she’d suddenly found herself outside the pharmacy, bag in hand.

If she truly was… Gods, she couldn’t even think the word. Her and Dorian had always been so careful…

And if it turned out to be positive…what would they do?

Manon couldn’t take more of the churning thoughts or the uncertainty.

Sighing in defeat, she dragged her fatigued body off the couch an headed for the bathroom, taking the paper bag with her.

-

Dorian opened the front door to find the house eerily quiet. He stepped into the living room, which was empty, but the TV was on, so Manon couldn’t be far away. She was probably just sleeping, Dorian told himself, but something felt off…

«Manon?» he called as he stepped into the kitchen, putting away the groceries he’d gotten on his way home.

No one answered.

Dorian could feel panic spread through his body, but he tried to stay calm, to stay rational. She was probably upstairs, sleeping, as she should be.

Still, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was very wrong.

What if she’d gotten worse? Or passed out somewhere?

His pulse started racing as he practically sprinted up the stairs, towards their bedroom.

«Manon?!» he called once more, but he was yet again met with silence.

Pushing the door open, his heart skipped a beat as he discovered the bed to be empty, as tidy as they had left it that morning. Dorian could feel all the blood drain from his face, picturing a hundred scenarios in his head, all of them equally terrifying.

Then he heard a noise coming from his right. He turned around and saw Abraxos lying in front of the closed bathroom door, guarding it. The cat meowed a second time, rushing over to him, trying to get his attention.

Dorian scanned the door, letting out a sigh of relief when he noticed the sliver of light coming from beneath it.

«Manon? Are you in there?» he asked softly, leaning against the door. When she still didn’t answer, he twisted the doorknob, thankfully finding it unlocked.

He held his breath as he stepped into the bathroom, afraid of what would meet him.

But Manon wasn’t passed out, she was sitting on the floor, in front of the bathtub, staring intensely at something in her lap.

Dorian sat down in front of her, trying to meet her eyes, but it didn’t seem like she even knew he was there.

«What’s wrong?» he asked her, frowning in confusion. Dread pooled in his stomach.

Manon kept focusing her eyes on her lap as she silently handed him the thing she was holding, his heart skipping another beat as he learned it was a plastic stick.

With shaking hands, Dorian turned it around and was met with two, bright pink lines staring up at him. He couldn’t make out a single clear thought, too many running through his head at the same time.

When he finally managed to look up from the positive pregnancy test, Manon was looking at him with that same intense gaze. It hurt to see his girlfriend like this, so lost and afraid and vulnerable.

«Is it- Are you- You’re sure that it’s positive?» was all he could choke out.

Her throat bobbed.

Once.

Twice.

Manon didn’t answer, just sat there, trembling. He was sure she’d gone into shock.

After a while, she said with a quiet voice, her words devoid of any emotion, «It looks positive to me. And the other two I took says the same.» She nodded towards the sink behind him.

Dorian twisted to pick up the other tests, which also clearly said pregnant.

«How far along?» he asked, not knowing what else to say.

She shrugged. «Less than twelve, more than six.»

«Shit.»

«Yeah, shit.»

They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity, all the unspoken words hanging heavy in the air between them.

Manon broke the silence by drawing a shuddering breath, whispering, «What are we gonna do, Dorian?»

It was the quiet despair in her voice that made him scoot over to her side and gather her up in his arms. She clutched his shirt, burying her face in his chest.

«I don’t know, love.»

He pressed a kiss to her hair.

«I don’t know.»

Then she threw herself out of his arms, hurling the contents of her stomach into the nearby toilet.

-1 week later -

Manon glanced at the alarm clock once more, silently groaning at what she saw. It was currently 3am, and she was wide awake, unable to stop the thoughts churning in her mind.

Deciding she couldn’t keep tossing and turning like this, she quietly slipped out of bed, careful not to wake her sleeping boyfriend.

She padded across the floor and down the stairs, stepping over a sleeping Abraxos, and made her way to the kitchen. The soft lights turned on, and Manon stepped over to the sink, beginning on the mountain of dirty dishes. She might as well do something useful if she was going to stay awake all night.

And it helped keeping the thoughts away. That, and the small radio she turned on, keeping the volume low.

A week had passed, and she was still knocked up, still hadn’t made a decision.

Manon had always said she didn’t want kids, but thinking about how there was a tiny, human being growing inside her…

A tiny, human being that she had created with Dorian…It made her reconsider it all. Made her doubt all she’d thought she knew.

Would they look like him? Be like him? Would she be able to love them as much as she loved this man?

Manon had never been good at analyzing her emotions, her mind too rational for it’s own good. They were old enough and in a long-term relationship. They both had a stable income, and more than enough room in their house. But was this something she wanted?

Tomorrow.

She would debate it tomorrow, Manon promised herself, instead getting lost in the task of doing all the dishes.

In fact, she got so caught up that she didn’t notice Dorian approaching until he stepped behind her, banding his arms around her waist.

«Couldn’t sleep?» he murmured, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

Manon shook her head, furiously scrubbing a pan. «I’m sorry I woke you,» she whispered.

«You didn’t,» he whispered back, taking the pan from her hands and placing it back in the sink. «Care to explain why you’re doing the dishes in the middle of the night?»

«It’s the only way I can stop thinking so much,» she said quietly, leaning back against his wide frame.

«Do you want to talk about it?»

At first, she didn’t say anything.

But then a single thought appeared in her mind.

A truth she had realized days ago, without truly knowing it.

«I think I want to keep it,» she voiced, her words barely audible, a single tear trailing down her cheek.

And as she said those words out loud, she knew.

Knew that she wanted this.

Even if it terrified her.

She knew that Dorian wanted it too, although he hadn’t said it directly. But he would make an excellent father, and she wanted to share this with him. This precious thing they had created together.

Dorian stiffened behind her, and Manon twisted in his arms to find him looking at her with awe, something like hope shining in his eyes. «Are- Are you sure?»

He brought a thumb to her cheek, wiping away the tear. It was the first time she cried in front of him, in front of anyone, and it felt good, to be able to be so vulnerable with someone.

«Yes,» she breathed.

«I’m going to be a father?» he asked, voice full of disbelief.

«Yes, you’re going to be a father» Manon laughed as more tears fell. «We’re having a baby!»

Dorian was crying now, too, pulling her into a tight embrace. «I love you so much, Manon Blackbeak,» he whispered in her ear.

They stood like that for a while, simply enjoying the feeling of being close.

«Do you hear that?» Dorian said all of a sudden. He let go of her to turn up the volume on the radio still playing music. Manon smiled softly at the familiar tune.

«This is our song,» Dorian said, grinning.

Manon cringed. «We don’t have a song.»

«Oh yes, we do. Don’t you remember dancing to this on our first date?»

Of course Manon remembered. She would never forget that night.

«That doesn’t make it our song. And it’s just so…cliché.»

«Love is a cliché, Manon.»

She rolled her eyes, but a playful smile graced her lips. «How did I end up with such a hopeless romantic?»

«I’ll show you romantic,» Dorian said, his blue eyes twinkling. «Come here.»

He held out his hand, and said in a hushed voice, «Dance with me.»

«You know I can’t dance,» she whispered.

«We’ll go slow,» Dorian promised her.

Hesitantly, she took his hand, and he pulled her close, tucking her head under his chin. Dorian placed a hand on her back, and slowly began swaying to the music.

Manon closed her eyes, relishing the moment.

And as Dorian began to softly sing along, his voice low and raspy, Manon decided that this, right here, in his arms, was where she wanted to spend the rest of her life.

Broken down and hungry for your love

With no way to feed it

Had someone told her this all those years ago, that she would one day be standing here, with Dorian Havilliard of all people, in their home, expecting his child, she would laugh herself hoarse.

But she wished.

Wished that past Manon had known how much she needed a family.

So I'll wait for you, and I'll burn

Will I ever see your sweet return

Oh, will I ever learn?

A/N: Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'm really loving this AU more and more for every chapter I write!  Also, I’d like to give a huge thanks to everyone who comments/reblogs etc. It means the world to me!

Tag list: @fireheartdreamerstarborn​

(let me know if you wanna be tagged, and I’ll try to put together a list)

[howaboutalittlehelpneos]

So since I've been saying nothing but good things about Vrains, I feel it's only fair to counterbalance my positivity with negativity that no one asked for. Why? That's just the kind of bitch I am, so here are my problems with Vrains.

So many of the duels in Vrains are heavily favored towards more... How do I say... Plot centered characters. Yusaku, Ryoken, Homura, Lightning, and Bohman have the highest amount of wins in the series, while other supporting characters are left to fall by the wayside. The infuriating thing about it is that they're usually characters that are set up to have intimidating past win records, and you're told that these characters are supposed to be the best at what they do, but they end up losing almost all of their duels.

Because of the fact that some characters are established very solidly in the “they will never/almost never lose” category, any time one of the side characters happens to go up against them, there’s never any real sense of suspense. There’s no room to wonder “Are they going to win this one?” because you already know that no, of course they aren’t, they don’t have enough main character energy to pull off a win. Vrains suffers from the same problem GX did with being heavily centered around their protagonist, and while there are more people aside from just Yusaku winning duels, the fact that he never loses and that his rival only loses three times throughout the whole show kind of makes the problem worse. I like Yusaku, and I think Revolver is okay, but man, it gets kind of tiring seeing Emma and Go and Blood Shepard and Spectre and Aoi and Akira constantly get dunked on any time one of them happens to duel Yusaku/Revolver/Bohman/Lightning.

I’m especially mad about Emma losing all the time despite having one of the best decks in the show, where her only win in all 120 episodes was against Shima. Shima. I love him, but it’s not exactly something to be proud of. It isn’t even like it’s an issue of the writers not being able or willing to let a girl win a duel because they did perfectly fine with Aoi! She had an okay number of wins under her belt, so it’s even more infuriating to me that the only other relevant girl in the show gets to win one (1) duel. Against Shima. God damn it.

This is just a personal gripe, but. Damn it. I wish we’d gotten to see more of Earth and Aqua. They kind of got the Rin and Yugo treatment from Arc-V, where we get to see them together only in flashbacks, Aqua got kidnapped, and Earth was only with her for a few minutes after saving her before he had to push her away so she wouldn’t be in danger (as opposed to just pushing her out a window because of mind control), and then Earth got captured and basically tortured to death. Both of them end up dead by the end of season two, they do not get to come back, and that is the end of them and their love.

On another Ignis related note, Windy. Windy is made out to be this horrible, irredeemable villain for almost the entirety of his screentime, only for them to drop the bomb on us that he was actually never evil to begin with, he was just reprogrammed by Lightning to make him that way. Well, that’s good, right? Now that we know Windy was only acting that way because of his code being altered against his will, we’ll finally get to see what the real Windy is like-

No. We don’t. After Windy has been reverted back to normal, he never says a Word in the few brief moments we get to see him again. The most we get to know is that his real eye color is purple.

And now, since I’ve completed Vrains... The ending with Ai’s existence supposedly causing the end of the world. I take issue with the whole apocalypse setting they tried to show us being brought about because of Ai because they never show us... How. In 5Ds, with Yusei being left alive and going on to become Z-ONE, they actually explain how his desire to save everyone was eroded over time until he came to the conclusion that sacrificing the city to save the entire world was a necessary evil he was now willing to go through. We don’t talk about the plot twist they pulled in that arc, it didn’t happen, don’t know what you’re talking about. With Ai... They don’t give us anything beyond his existence leading to the apocalypse. We never get to see how it got so bad, if it was something Ai himself did, if Ai somehow changed from just wanting to live in peace to wanting killing and violence, all we know is that if he lives, the government comes after him with tanks and blows up the whole city??? Which like. Seems just a Bit excessive to blow up buildings and waste tons of innocent lives just to get to one gay robot. You’d think they’d be more specifically targeting him instead of just laying waste to everything in sight until they eventually kill him. 

If Ai being alive is really going to cause all this hell, to make it believable to the viewer when we’d only ever known Ai to want peace, they’d have to show us some event in the future that caused Ai to change his views on humans being his allies, but they don’t give us any of that. They had the building blocks, but couldn’t stack them up in a way that made that scenario feel plausible. To top everything off, after making Playmaker kill him because of his dangerous existence leading to the end of the world in the future, no for real guys stop laughing, the final episode resurrects Ai at the last second, just showing us a glimpse of him coming back into existence somewhere in the Cyberse, with Playmaker assumedly going out to search for him.

So... All of that was pointless, then? Is the future still going to be a barren hellscape because Ai came back? The whole point of his assisted suicide duel with Playmaker was to make sure he wouldn’t be alive anymore to cause the end of the world, but if you give us this glimpse of him being somehow brought back, then what was the point of everything we just watched? Can Ai exist or can’t he? Fuck me man, I know it was probably just put in to satisfy fans to show us “haha sike he’s not dead, don’t worry”, but if you want the future safety of everyone in this show to hinge on whether or not one person lives or dies, then can you at the very least make up your mind on whether they live or die? FUCK. 

Well... I think that’s about everything I have to say, minus a few smaller personal gripes like “why couldn’t we see Roboppi again” and “for a whole season being dedicated to his safe return, we sure did get to see very little of Jin after he got rescued”. Yeah, I think I got it all out of my system. All in all, I did enjoy Vrains, and I do look forward to going back and watching the whole thing subbed, but... Yeah. You know me. Just gotta complain about the things I love. :P

[calliecat93]

When I was fifteen years old, I found out about Star Trek: The Original Series. Back then, Star Trek as I knew was only The Next Generation, and I was apathetic about that. I found out through simple curioaity, but I had nothing to better to do so I looked into it. It sounded kind of interesting, so I found the show on Hulu and decided to give it a shot. I quit midway through the third episode. I saw it as old, cheesy looking, and dumb. Why waste my time on something old? Over the years, the more I got involved in online fandom culture, the more I would see it pop up. The more I would ehar about how having PoC inr egular roles was revolutionary just because it showed that they existed. How the show enrained so many science fiction tropes and ideals into modern Americn media in the vein as Dotor Who has in Britian. Heck a review show I used to watch went over the comic adptations of the films, and came off as so passionate about the franchise that I remembered my previous stance. Remembered how I threw it aside as a relic of the past, despite me even thn seeing the value as I valued classical animaiton and children’s media very highly.

IDK what provoked it, but in January of this year, I decided to watch the entirety of Star Trek. Maybe it was quarentine rentine making me snap. Maybe it was me giving in at last to those urges that had been prodding at me for years. Regardless, I made the choice, and it only made sense to begin with the one that started it all. I am now 28 years old. I have grown far more patient and respectful with the things that came before my time. Media holds a great deal of value and whether I understood it or not, Star Trek was vital to popular media. I was ready to give it a second chance. I expected to go in with a greater appreciation, but otherwise not have many strong feelings abou it. I got through those three episodes again with my feelings better than before, but not too different. But I was determined to keep going. So for two months, I watched episode after episode and this weekend I ended it with the original films. Now here we all at the end of the journey. How do I feel?

I felt very regretful for throwing it aside the way that I did.

I greatly enjoyed TOS. Far more than I had ever expected. It is very much a product of the 60’s. There was a limited budget and it showed, though they made the most of it. There were many ridiculous plots, rampant sexism, and hammy acting that is utterly laughable. Some days I could go along with it, other days I just wanted them to get it over with. And yet, none of it kept me away. There were ideals revolutionary for the time like PoC standing equal to others, themes of all kinds such as anti-war and humanity, great science fiction concepts that may be standard today but don’t rob them of their enjoyability, and so much fun but also many moments that made you think. But most of ll, it had such lovely characters. For me to care about a show, I have to care about it’s chracters. I knew a few things via pop culture, butt hat’s not the same as understanding them as a viewer and media can frequently exaggerate the reality. And as I found out, there was far more to them than what mdia lead me to believe.

Kirk I only ever knew as a brave captain who made out with a lot of women. While that’s true, I can’t call him a reckless womanizing asshole. He was brave, optimistic, diplomatic, and charming. He could be light-herted, but also very much a devoted Starfleet Captain whose duty is his entire being. I was shocked at how much I grew to care about him. Seeing his triumphs, his failings, his strengths and flaws, even on an off day I cared about him. Even when William Shatner hammed it up too much, I enjoyed seeing him. Spock was who I knew the most about consideirng how popular he was and I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I also grew to love him. His logic, his struggle with his dual being as half Vulcan and half Human, his loyalty to Kirk and his dedicaiton to his duty. I could see why he meant so much to people, esecially witht he level of depth and work that Leonard Nimoy put into the character. There’s s amny little things that you begint o notce and it makes Spock feel all the more real. But by far the biggest appeciaiton I grew was for McCoy. He was the character I knew the least about aside form him being a doctor and remembering the first episode. But GOD I love his character so much. His crankiness, snarkiness, and his arguments with Spock were entertaining but seieng how compassionate, devoted, and caring that he is especially when I watched The Empath ahead of time and saw his sacrifice... damn. Not to mention DeForest Kelley’s perormance with him imo being the best peformer aside from Nimoy. He gave it hus all even during the dumbest episodes and that always earns my respect. I didn’t think I’d care about Bones that much, knowing him as that guy who’s more important than the rest but not even close to as much as Kirk and Spock, and he walked away as my absolute favorite character who I will continue to give the love and appreciate that he deserves.

The others were great too. Scotty was funny, great at his job, and the amount fo times he saved thm all via some miracle is to be admired. Sulu was significant for being an Asian man as a regular and in a high position, and I just loved having his prescence. Uhura being a Black woman treated as an equal by her white male peers and being a dedicated, sassy communicaitons officer as well as her lovely musical talents made her a delight. Chekov when he came along added a nice, youthful prescence without him getitg annoying and having a Russian as a hero at that time was also a big deal. While the show struggled BIG TIME with gender and feminism, it was major at the time for presenting PoC and those of other nationalities as equal to others, and the cast clearly did their best to make them feel like actual people. I respect that a great deal. We all should sot hat we can keep improving from there.

I didn’t expect to care. I expected to get the show over with and have something to occupy my time. And yet, I do care. I care about these characters. I care about the shenanigains that they get involed in. I worry when they get into distress even though I know that they’ll be fine. There were plenty of things I knew in advance like Spcok’s deaht in the movies... and I cried anyways. I knew that nothing long-term bad would happen in the series, yet I feared for the cast and their situaton anyways. I grew invested in them. In their relaitonships. The Kirk-Spock-McCoy dynamic was by far my favorite thing and it kept me wanting to keepw atching. Not to occupy my time, but because I genuienly wanted to see what they got into and how they got out of it. To see Kirk and Spock’s mutual respect and trust in each other. To see Spock and McCoy argue over logic and emotion and be wiling to defend the other, to see Kirk and Bones joke and be at ease with each other as the close longitme firends that the are, and just having the three together... it was such a perfect dynamic. Hell I didn’t expect to ship anything aside form maybe Spirk due to knowing it’s significance to fandom, slash,a nd the LGBT+ community. And I came away shipping all three dynamics...a nd veering on all three together, but IDK if I’m quite there yet. But whether shippy or platonic, their relaitonship together is perfect and I loved it.

Now, the journey is over. Oh I plan to go back and do it all over again. I plan to pay even more atteniton. I plan on giving each episode as good of an analysis as I can give. I plan to try and seek out things like the novels and the comics so that I can have more itme with them. I plan to watch the reboot films to see what happes in a different universe. I plan to watch TNG and hope that I enjoy those charactrs that I ignored my entire life just as much as I did these. But for now, it’s over. It is a ride that I am thankful to have taken. I came in indifferen, and am leaving a fan looking forward to whatever else awaits. Thank you Star Trek TOS for this amazing two month journey. Thank you tot he cast and crew who put so much into it despite everything working against them. Thank you to the fans who watched it and kept it alive for all of these decades. And to those who read tot his point and all of my watchthrogh posts, thank you for sitcking with me. It was, without doubt, an experience that I’m never going to forget.

[gra-sonas]

In-depth interview with L’Odet

Michael is an actor based in Los Angeles. He's known for his work on The CW's "Roswell, New Mexico." The second season of Roswell dropped on Netflix this week. Photos by Davy Kesey for his Reflections series, a photographic pursuit of vulnerable, multifaceted, and deeply personal portraits.

CARIANN BRADLEY: What did your day to day look like filming the second season of "Roswell, New Mexico?" I know in our first chat together several months ago, you told me you tapped into your friend passing away this time last year. Can you explain to me your process?

MICHAEL VLAMIS: Season two of "Roswell" — it was crazy because so many things happened to me personally going into the season. A buddy of mine passed away; I recovered his body in the middle of an ocean after a freak boating accident . Friends and I were out in Panama, Central America, for a bachelor party and it went from the greatest time ever to one of the most wild experiences of my life. The kid that we lost was one of my childhood best friends.

That happened in May. Shortly after that, I tore my meniscus in my right knee, which is the third time I’ve done that, so I underwent surgery at the end of July. Once that surgery happened, I had to report to the set of "Roswell" about three days later. I couldn’t drive, so one of my roommates actually drove me out to Santa Fe — my roommate Roarke Anderson who I have lived with since college, we played baseball together at Chapman. And then I get out to the shoot and everybody is so worried about me because of my knee surgery. I’m limping and it’s hard for me to be standing on set or doing any physical contact and everybody is babying me so hard! I’m really bad at taking help. The "Roswell" cast and crew were so supportive, so helpful — they got me my own custom chair that I could sit in so my knee would heal quicker.

They were doing all of these things, going out of their way, and I don’t know if it’s a thing that I have — pride or ego or my stubbornness — but taking help from people, even when I need it, is tough for me. I was taking all of this help and then three weeks into shooting, the doctor said, “You can drive, but you don’t want to be hitting the break too hard; take care of your knee.” And on my way to set one morning, a priest turned right in front of me at a green light and I smoked this guy in my car; I totaled my car. He got knocked unconscious, but luckily he was okay, everything worked out — he was healthy, he got taken away from the scene but was able to walk away from the hospital and was doing fine. Right at that time, I was really just feeling the death of my friend, the knee surgery, the car accident — meanwhile, Max, my brother in the show, played by Nathan Parsons of course, is dead in the series.

So, while all of this is going on, I keep channeling my buddy and that horrific incident because it felt like if anything was gonna come out of that — he was a big supporter of my career, always telling people I was acting — I felt like I could do justice to my friend’s death, I could make a positive out of such a negative, and that’s what I did. I really tried to channel him and look to him between scenes and bring that for the loss of my brother in the show.

And, to be honest, I felt like I went too deep into that and it really caught up to me. A month and a half into shooting I just snapped one day. I remember the hair stylist on set all of the sudden told me that The CW thought the right side of my hair wasn’t as curly as it normally is, so they started curling my curls on set and, it’s so funny that that ended up being the last straw. Curling my curls made me feel like a helpless individual who just needed to be so pampered and taken care of and watched after and looked upon — and I didn’t feel like my own person. I ended up saying a dick comment to our hair stylist, who I love and really respect and appreciate, but in that moment I snapped and I got all teary-eyed and she was like, “Dude, what’s going on?” And I gave her a big hug and I’m like, “I’m sorry, this isn’t about you at all,” and I went to my trailer and I wrote a poem and I kind of got out everything I was feeling. From that moment on, which was about six weeks into shooting, I felt better. I had a little bit of a relief. And then, luckily, Max comes back to life halfway through season two and my big episode, episode five, when I channeled my buddy the most was a very tough experience. But once that was over I was able to let the passing of my friend go for a while and everything normalized, but that was everything just on set! You just get so focused on doing your best work that you kind of drive yourself insane.

C: Even just from talking to you the first time we chatted for l’Odet, you just seem like the most productive person ever. How do you take care of yourself? Especially when you’re exerting that much of yourself creatively. Do you do therapy or do you just depend on your support system?

M: I think that changes. At one point in my life it was meditation. I actually meditated for the first time this morning since February because I’ve been feeling so strange lately in the pandemic, right? It’s been ups and downs and I was feeling like I needed a little bit more calmness in my life. I know that I’m a person that really likes control and I like things the way they are and me having a grasp on things — it’s little things. I have a driveway that we park all five of the cars of the house and the cars are parked just back to back to back, so if you’re the first one in, you have to go to your roommates and say, “Hey guys, I have to do a car shuffle, I have to leave,” and it can be an inconvenience for people to go move their cars for you to get out. When I’m meditating and my mind is very relaxed, that doesn't bother me, but I’ve been noticing lately that I don’t want to park in the driveway because I’m gonna get stuck, but at a time like this? When I don’t have to go anywhere, I don’t have to be anywhere, why am I thinking about being stuck? What is going on right there? Why do I need this control again? This feeling of absolute freedom whenever I want when I can achieve that freedom mentally with my car being in the driveway. Little things like that make me realize that I need to get back to centering myself, so I’m going to start meditating again every day, because you asked what I do for my mental health — to be completely honest, I don’t really take care of myself that much!

I’m just kind of a go, go, go person and I like pushing myself. I look at life like a big video game; the more levels I can beat, the more fun it is, but eventually, you get tired of the game and you have to step back so I’m going to try to be putting meditation back into my life. Aside from that, I’ve been reading way more during the pandemic. I’ve read three books, "The Little Prince" is one of them; it’s a children’s book, but you can call it that! I read a book! I’ve read like three books which is more than I’ve read all through "Roswell" because I was just so occupied with writing, so that’s been helping me take a step back and unwind. Aside from that, I need pointers! I need to figure out what taking care of myself actually looks like, because it is peaks and valleys when it comes to my mental health.

C: It seems like you're always working, even when you're not shooting. You're a bit addicted to work, maybe?

M: I think so. I think I’m addicted to accomplishing things that I don’t even think I should be able to accomplish. The people that fascinate me are the Donald Glovers of the world. The guys, and women, who you hear they did something and you’re like, “How?!” How did they make a hit album, a hit TV show, act in all these movies, write for a TV show — all these things that just don’t seem feasible, but he accomplished them! I want that. I like that. I like being the person who is always pushing to just be outside of their comfort zones and accomplish something that was a dream at one point in your life that could turn into reality. I’m really fascinated by that whole process or turning dreams into reality.

C: I think people our age can get really discouraged if one thing doesn’t work out and for a person to be able to keep going, for it to only motivate them more — I think that’s probably a superpower.

M: Superpower or just a big ego! It’s one of the two. Ego is something that I’ve thought about heavily. I’ve blown relationships in the past because of ego, I think my acting work five years ago wasn’t good because of ego. Then you get stripped down, you get beaten down by life, and you get a little more comfortable with the uncomfortable and I think that’s where the best work comes from. For me, yeah, I think I just really like pushing myself. I do see life like this video game, so if one door closes, you don’t put the game down, you don’t all of a sudden stop playing, no, you keep playing in order to beat it! And sometimes that might mean buying the cheat code book or asking a friend how to beat this level or whatever it is, but those little things to figure out how to get past what you’re stuck with — I love those moments. I love getting through something that doesn’t seem like something I can accomplish.

C: Yeah, and something I wrote down, actually, was that from watching "Roswell" season two, I feel like your character is very jaded and he almost needs stuff proven to him to believe that good things can happen. Which makes sense because of all the shit he’s been through and all the trauma that he’s experienced in his life, but were you ever like that personally? Even after this really traumatic experience happened with your friend, are you more jaded because of all these things that have happened in the last year?

M: You know what? No, I’m not. Maybe I should be but, no. I have a tough time living life without leaving my heart on my sleeve and being vulnerable. I think the beauty is in vulnerability, and I admit that I’m not always good at that. I’m actually realizing I’m really bad at that when it comes to relationships with a woman that I may love. It can be very hard for me to say exactly what I want or what I’m feeling. I don’t know why that is exactly, but when it comes to anything else in life, I can say anything I want, anything I’m feeling — I could spill my guts to the cashier at a gas station and I can be okay with that and who I am. So, no, not jaded. The experience that I had with my friend passing, that has just made me more aware, right? Just knowing that accidents like that, freak accidents, like what happened to him on a boat in the middle of Central America at a time where you didn’t think you had a care in the world — that can be flipped on its head in a second. So, just kind of knowing that and that might mean me looking across the street, left and right an extra time, but just kind of learning from every experience but still moving ahead as if I’m just this kid in this world for the first time, soaking everything in. And if I get hurt, that’s just a part of the process. Me being a masochist for my art, because the more I get hurt in real life, the better my art is. It’s kind of a weird balance. If I wasn’t an actor, maybe I wouldn’t feel that way, but I’ve always been this way even before I started acting in my senior year of college. So, that’s tough. I don’t think I’ve been like Michael Guerin, though, where I’m just reaching for answers all the time. I, in the past, prove to myself that I’m a good person or I’m wanted or that I actually can find success in the things I love. It’s just put the hard hat on and go to work and keep plugging away.

C: Interesting. I think that you have really done a good job of truly just drawing on those experiences then, because you really portray that through Guerin really well. I mean, he’s just so different than you which, I mean, is how acting is supposed to be, I guess, right? [Laughs] I guess I don’t know too much about acting.

M: No, definitely! And maybe we even talked about this in the last interview, but I was always so surprised that Carina MacKenzie, our showrunner, said that, as an actor, I am the most different in real life than I am as my character. It kind of blew my mind! I feel like I am Michael Guerin! I feel like everything Michael Guerin does is exactly how Michael Vlamis would react in a situation, but the difference is, when it comes to acting, the truth I’m bringing is under the circumstances of Michael Guerin. So, what he’s going through is exactly how I would react in those situations, but I’m just not in those situations because that’s not how I think or operate in my life! But if I was to do that, then that is what you would get. So, it doesn’t feel that far off for me because I have all those things in me, that is who I am, a lot of those feelings of anger or jealousy or the feeling of not being loved or proving yourself, being wanted. I have all that stuff, it’s just not coming out on a daily basis because, in life, I like to keep things light for the most part — I like to make jokes all the time, but, deep down, I’m a very serious person who's had to work on anger issues in the past and had to really find balance in how I react to certain situations. The beautiful thing about Guerin is that I can just be the worst parts of me. I can put that on screen because that’s interesting to watch, you know?

C: I’m interested to see you in other stuff. I’m interested to see if your biopic gets made and stuff too, I haven’t seen you in anything else. Or write anything, you know?

M: Well, a lot of people haven’t, which is so funny to me, because I have been doing self-tape auditions right now for movies that are trying to be cast and no idea when production is going to happen, but people are trying to do virtual auditions, trying to fill their cast so that they can go shoot once this pandemic is over. A lot of things I’m auditioning for are comedies, but people are like, “Can he do comedy?” Which is so funny! Comedy is my bread and butter. Comedy is probably what I do better than anything, but people don’t know me as that! They knew me as that initially and that’s why I couldn't even get an audition on "Roswell," because I was the comedy guy, and now I’m, like, the dramatic guy. [Laughs] You always have to prove to people and make them see that you can't be put in a box. It will be very cool for the world to see me acting in other projects and, actually, my first feature film that I produced and starred in called “Five Years Apart” just picked up a distribution deal through an amazing distributor and in the states. We’ve got sales happening in foreign markets right now; we’ve locked up like three territories out of seventeen worldwide and this movie is very special to me. It’s an indie dramatic comedy, pretty much about two estranged brothers coming together over a wild weekend and a very specific incidence happens that forces them together and it’s very funny. It’s a really fun movie. It was a thirteen-day shoot in LA.

C: Wow! That’s not long at all!

M: No, no! It was very quick. We didn’t have a lot of money, you know? A lot of people said that we couldn’t make the movie for double of what we ended up making it for. Everybody who said that to us, these were line producers who have done big, successful movies, and were just doing us a favor with budgeting, and it comes down to that video game mentality again. Oh, you think I can’t make for this much? Okay, watch me make it for half of that and still do a good job! I don’t know, that might be the whole pride aspect — stubbornness, ego or whatever, but I’m very proud of this movie. We won best ensemble cast at the LA Indie Film Fest last year where it premiered and then we recently picked up distribution. Once this pandemic is over that movie should hit screens, hopefully a few theaters, and then some of the streaming platforms. People will see me in a totally different role than Michael Guerin.

C: I can’t wait to see it, that sounds awesome.

M: And then, for the writing, the Mac Miller biopic was the first dramatic screenplay I wrote. It’s funny that the drama that I write gets my writing partner and I all the meetings. We’ve met with some major companies since that script made The Black List, but all the other projects we have are all big studio comedies. We’re even about to finish, here in the pandemic, writing my next movie. We’re about 75% done with that and we’ll have a mob action comedy done within the next few weeks.

C: Oh my god! You’re so productive; it’s insane. It’s so amazing.

M: I just go, go, go, you know? I don’t know if it’s very healthy but it excites me. I live for the excitement. I live for the thrill. I live for the unknown. I was talking to my mom the other day and, I didn’t even know this story, but I guess when we were kids, my sisters and I — if I wanted something, my mom, even before I could really speak, was talking to me, asking questions. She was trying to get me to figure out what I wanted or how to get through a certain situation. If I had a problem with homework and I took it to her, she wouldn’t just do it for me or even just teach me how to do it, she would really push me to figure out how to do it myself. So, I think this feeling that I have really stems from those early days of always having to figure things out on my own. Of course, she would help me if I really, really needed it, but she always made me figure stuff out on my own and I take a lot of pride in that. I like doing that. I don’t know, maybe that’s where the productivity comes or maybe it comes from just not feeling like I’m ever really enough. I don’t actually know, but I know I’ve felt that in certain parts of my life, but I think I’m over that. Yet, the productivity remains.

C: And you can be proud when you make things because you’re actually doing the shit yourself. You’re actually self-made. You didn’t get this stuff handed to you.

M: Yeah, and also, don’t get me wrong, all the work that I do — these are my hobbies. What I do for a living are my hobbies, so I don’t think of it as productivity. I think of it as, this is what I need to do every single day. If I’m not doing something, I feel useless. I’ve had those bouts, and I don’t know if that’s healthy or maybe that is just me. Maybe I am just a born storyteller, that’s what I like to do. I like to sit around with friends, tell stories, hear their stories, figure out the little details that made that story so interesting, and then move on to the next story.

C: I mean, I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong or bad to have a lifeline, especially in a time like that. It’s necessary; it’s what keeps us going.

M: Exactly. At the beginning of this quarantine, we were not writing, we were just figuring out our lives — what are these next few months going to look like? I was depressed. Then we started diving into this script every day and, all of a sudden, I have this purpose again. That keeps me going. That’s definitely helpful for my mental health.

C: I feel similarly about projects. I think I do tie a lot of my self-worth into success or self-defined success which isn’t always great, but it keeps me hustling. I’m never just sitting around like, “Oh, what am I gonna do?” I’m doing the shit that’s in my head and I want to make it happen.

M: There’s something very fulfilling about that.

C: I don’t have sympathy for people who just sit around and don’t know how to start living your life.

M: I know! I used to be that way even more but over the years I’ve realized that people didn’t have parents like I had. My dad was very tough on me, but always pushed me to be the best version of myself — both my parents did. Were my dad’s ways the best ways to do it? I don’t know. If you tell a lot of people how my dad was, they might think there’s some problems there, but guess what? It worked for me. I think about it as these other people who maybe aren’t feeling the same way as I am about productivity, whatever it may be, maybe they didn’t have the drive instilled in them from their parents. Immediately they’re at a disadvantage. It’s hard to judge somebody without knowing exactly how they were raised because I’m really realizing as I get older that that has defined who I am so much.

C: That’s true.

M: I don’t know. I mean, I’m 30 years old now. I turned 30 during the quarantine. I’ve experienced loss in a different way. Swimming up to a body floating in the ocean that you think you’re going to turn over and it’s going to be your buddy just making a goof! Just messing around. Pretending he’s floating in the water and then you turn him around and you realize this is way more serious that I thought it ever could’ve been. Living through a moment like that just makes you feel more and more. A lot of people take a step out of their body and they stop feeling because they don’t want to be heartbroken again or hurt. I’m a little bit the other way.

I kind of step up a little more. I think that getting so deep into that story — it’s a weird story to tell, but when my buddy died in Panama, I was the one that found him. I was an all-state swimmer as a kid in elementary school! Like, fifty-yard freestyle! I was very fast. So I’m thinking to myself, okay, he’s in the water, I’m probably the most capable of saving him, should something actually be wrong. I dove overboard into the ocean and swam as fast as I could into a pool of blood. I found my buddy and it was not a pretty sight. We got his body back onto the boat, got him to the hospital on the island, which looked like a rundown motel in East Hollywood, and he didn't have a chance. And then it’s this group of ten guys, some of us have been best friends forever, some of us just meeting for the first time because, maybe, college friends are involved and invited instead of just the high school buddies that grew up together. How these ten guys banned together and were there for each other to contact the family back in the states, let them know what happened, and go to the U.S. Embassy in Panama, talk to the authorities, the police, the doctors, and really step up. It’s just been an amazing, horrible experience — something I wish on nobody.

But it opened me up a lot and surprised me, especially with my buddies from the Southside of Chicago who I would never, ever in a million years thought would go to therapy. Those are the guys that make fun of therapy, right? Even I did at one point growing up. I thought, therapy? Who needs therapy? And then you go and you realize it’s a really healthy thing! I was really ignorant for thinking anything less than how important it is. But those guys are in therapy now and it’s helping them and I thought that that was such a cool thing to come from that experience. These masculine men who have kind of realized that it’s okay to actually be in touch with yourself.

C: Michael, I’m so sorry that that happened to you and it’s a tragedy that no one should have to experience, but I just want to say thanks for being open about it and being willing to talk with me about it. What you’ve learned from it and how you’ve turned it around and used it in your life and in your art is really beautiful.

M: Thank you. I know my buddy would be very proud, if he’s watching or listening, knowing that I try to make the most out of a horrible situation. That was a lot of what was on my mind during the photoshoot for this and the year anniversary just came up. Sometimes I tell that story and laugh. Such a horrific story but I’m laughing because it doesn’t even seem real! Then I go on a socially distant photoshoot on a trail in the middle of nowhere with Davy; when he asked me about it, it caused me to kind of dive into myself and how I’m feeling. I think a lot of those feelings about my buddy…they didn’t go anywhere, you know? No matter how much I mask them, they didn’t go anywhere. I think a lot of that came in the photos that he took. [Davy] definitely has a special touch for getting the truth out of people.

C: I’m honored that you talked to me about it and that I’m gonna get to show these photos on my website. I’m really thankful and I appreciate you.

M: I appreciate you! I love your interviews, they’re always my favorite. The most raw, organic conversations we can have are what I like and that’s what you do. I appreciate that.

C: Thank you for saying that.

M: Of course.

C: Is there anything else that you wanted to talk about while I have you?

M: I think I should thank anyone who’s reading this that has purchased merch from our second season merch line which just wrapped up a couple weeks ago — thank you so much. We beat our numbers from last year. I thought people maybe had enough merch out of me for once, but we crushed our numbers from last year in just a two week span!

C: That’s amazing.

M: It is so amazing! It’s so cool. I think it’s a big testament to my business partner Jesa Joy, who prints all of my merch and softens every single piece so it feels vintage, one of a kind. People got that merch and it could easily be a gimmicky thing, but instead, we’re really making quality clothes starting with Jesa Joy and that’s keeping people coming back. Hopefully, with how open I am on social media, I think that’s resonating with the fans and they appreciate that so the more I give, the more they give. It’s just this beautiful thing that’s setting me up to potentially have my own fashion line one day, maybe take it from merch to fashion, and that’s a goal of mine for many years down the road. The fact that all of my fans are so supportive and just totally understand my humor and what I’m doing means the world to me. It’s just a really cool thing to see and find success in. Otherwise, I pitched for that TV show, one of my childhood idols, one of the biggest comedic actors of all time, and we’re trying to get him attached to my show. He might say no and that’s totally okay because we got him laughing! He was laughing throughout our pitch yesterday and it felt so special. So, maybe, if we did this interview in a week, I’d have amazing news or maybe I would be bummed out because the guy doesn’t get attached to the show. Either way, it’s been experiences like that, little moments where you’re down, you’re out, you’re feeling depressed, and then you’re making a childhood hero of yours laugh over a zoom pitch. Moments like that have really helped me through quarantine — finding those small, little wins every now and then.

C: The wins are important.

M: And the win isn’t that you win! It’s not the outcome, it’s the process which I always thought was such bullshit. “Trust the process,” and I didn’t want to trust the process! I wanted to make the process! That’s not possible, you know? It’s only possible to a certain extent, you really have to let things play out as they want to and I’m finding the wins in letting things play out the way the universe wants them to.

[mercuriallycooperative]

Doom flags at her heels, Katarina really has a lot going on

(slight arc one spoilers, slight arc later spoilers, lotta long rambling thoughts)

So I’ve been keeping up with the manga for quite awhile and then remembered the light novels exist and then discovered the anime is existing and then realized “oh this is popular enough people are writing fic for it!” and then read a good fic and then I realized that this was a chance to articulate a thought that’s always in the back of my mind whenever I reread the manga and now that I’m watching like four let’s-watch youtubers as the anime goes on but like-

It has always struck me that like- as much as Katarina has a lot of sparkling happy fluffy moments and people she cares for a lot in this life, people that certainly I think she does love perhaps more deeply than even she realizes, and the audience is reminded so often "ha ha she still thinks she's doomed, she doesn't realize literally everyone has fallen in love with her and she's become crucial in their lives and hearts"- there’s also the other side of that-

That is that all the preparing she's been doing since she woke up with her past life memories at 8 years old- she's spent all that time running from a looming shadow at her back.

She's spent 7 years with a lot of excellent friends, capturing hearts and being a bright light in the world, but she's also spent all that time living with the fear that some of her friends might kill her, someday, or that she'll be made to leave them, or be discarded, and have to start a new life in a strange place for a third time- this time, alone. And she's been running from that all this time. Even for a slightly one-track mind with a bit of a blind spot for things too close to her, how much fear and worry do you have to be carrying, to be still as Concerned as we see her when she's 15, to keep up preparing for such a doom for 7 years?

And there are moments like when she’s visiting Sophia and is reminded of Acchan, that we see she does still have some wistfulness for her life-that-was. Heck, even when she’s fighting her way out of her magical coma thing. Wistfulness for the world that was. And she doesn’t seem to have spoken to anyone about any of this past-life stuff. Even if this is her world now- she lost a lot, when she died the first time.

Even if she’s usually more focused on either things right in front of her, or her looming doom (hardly an enviable distraction), that has to be a lot to bear and never breathe a word of. A lot to miss, and people she will likely never see again.

And of course she's considered very simple and direct and incapable of guile or scheming by even her dear beloved friends- and often times she is- but there is also is the fact that in 7 years she hasn't let on about the secret of her memories, or what she's preparing for, or what she's afraid of. She hasn't ever let on those fears of getting killed or exiled by people close to her, or the fact that all this preparing is just in case she has to leave them all forever. Just in case they make her have to leave them all forever. She does a lot of off-the-wall things, but nobody has ever gotten a real hint of what they're for. The most anyone has really gotten is a refrain of “just in case!”

(I went back to check- she's mentioned "In case I'm exiled," in some material. She has not mentioned "In case you exile me." There's something of a difference.)

Also like. I know she’s really memetically, uh, got a bit of a blind spot about how people feel about her (I’m pretty sure she just doesn’t care about the whole rules of society thing except when they make immediate trouble for her, which she’s in a position to mostly ignore- that’s less her lack of sense, I think, and more her contemporary sensibilities and a certain amount of unselfconsciousness coming just as much from not caring for some of the more implicit rules as it does not noticing them) (not that she doesn’t also have the sense of a single turnip sometimes, but like. still.).

But like, in the first episode’s worth of events, she has like three different head injuries, two of which result in unconsciousness, one of which results in getting a load of past life memories dumped into her head. It’s not unlikely that this happens, not frequently, but more than just the times we’ve seen, over the years. That can’t be good for her- especially because if she’s visibly fine there wouldn’t necessarily be any reason to apply any handy-but-rare healing light magic that could mitigate any medical repercussions of head injuries. Certainly, I would not be surprised if this affects her attention span or ability to put together some things, just a little.

Take that, along with the fact that given what we see at least about her parents in this life, pretty sure some of the obliviousness is genetic- and also the whole ‘preparing for her doom for seven years’ thing... When we’re afraid of stuff, our limbic system, our fight-or-flight-etc, goes all “yeet” in our brains and it does actually affect our ability to think things through. Like. We had a seminar at work about it and stuff. And constant stress, even constant low-level-mostly-in-the-background stress, is known to cause issues with both memory formation and retrieval. Which can’t be helping anything else happening here.

What I’m saying is, Katarina has a lot of actual potential physical reasons to have some of the really increasing amounts of obliviousness that sorta seem to show later in the light novels.

(Also, in fairness, some people just aren’t great with the subtext of the goings on around them, even if they can read the pattern fine in words on a page. I’m like that myself. Uh, not nearly as much as Katarina, given, as far as I know. But that’s a way that one can be, too, and it’s not mutually exclusive with the rest of this or anything.)

Aside from those- from what we get about her reflection on her life in the last world, it doesn’t seem like all of this is totally new to her character; I definitely feel like she was Like This last lifetime too. (Actually, yeah, went back to check, and in the light novel, in Acchan's chapter, Katarina was indeed Like This last time too.) But I think it’s possible that aside from new circumstances in this life accentuating these characteristics, that they’re the sort of thing that produces more, uh, pronounced reactions to situations, the bigger the situation is. Last life, she was a normal schoolgirl who didn’t expect anything life-threatening. This life, she’s been living in the shadow of her doom for 7 years, and she’s in the upper strata of Very Important People, With Harem Hijinks.

I think some of Katarina’s determination just really has this flavor of- “Well it just can’t be helped! I just gotta do the thing!” A sort of.... taking all the weight of the things that really are chasing her, and also some of the subtext-laden everything in a lot of her close relationships, and a little willfully going “well this is kind of a lot. you know what was also kind of a lot? preparing for my doom for 7 years! you know how I dealt with that? just getting on with it as best i can, blithely moving past all the things i wasn’t really equipped for, with twice as much energy as life threw at me!” Not consciously, necessarily, but there’s certainly an energy of eliding past the whole mass of situations down to the brass tacks of an action plan. Gonna get murderlyzed? Learn to fight back against being murderlyzed, with a sword! Lonely brother set to fall in love because of healing loneliness? Guess he’s not gonna be lonely anymore! I stole some relationship flags from people? Well they’re great folks, I’m sure they’ll be fine!

There’s a certain resilience to this particular response to the whole state of affairs that keeps the story of Katarina’s life in this world from being dragged down into the implications of all the little bits and troubles that come with both her getting isekai’d into doom flags, and also all her friends’ troubles in their youths. It’s part of what makes her so interesting, I think, that she’s able to just go along being herself, doing her rather erratic best, genuine, honest, loud and enthusiastic and kind, and producing very direct responses to the happenings around her. And people respond to that genuineness and directness and kindness.

Whether we’re reading it on the page or the characters are seeing it in person, I think there’s something very charming about that. Taking ‘wow this is a lot. life is... a lot.’ and getting down to ‘but being nice is simple, and being enthused is simple, and scowling at mean people is simple, and now it’s not as a lot anymore!’

The origins of Katarina’s directness and charm aside, in this life she has very much been rewarded for Being Like This. Here, I’m speaking a little more in response to how I’ve seen people getting exasperated at the increasingly pronounced amount of Bakarina-ness that I’ve seen so far in at least the translation of the later light novels that I got a chance to read; she’s... still quite oblivious.

But her life and the narrative has always rewarded that. Her good-natured kindness to people with sorrows has made her happy friends; her determination to go the direct and simple path through things has always cut to the heart of matters (even if she’s sometimes missed how she’s now rather at the heart of a lot of people now); her blithe disregard for a number of proprieties has been protected by both her noble parents who love her, rather a lot of overprotective friends, and her royal betrothed. Worry has only ever gotten her to an action plan and a drive to proceed with it; after she’s got those to work with (e.g. her “train in swords and magic to not be murderlyzed, keep Keith from being lonely, make a field to train in magic, make a romance novel friend” plans), she’s always had to learn to take her actions and then live her life pushing that worry out of the way.

If she’d drowned in worry about her doom instead of letting it propel her to action and then disregarding it in favor of living in the moments produced by her choices, then I don’t think her life since waking up with her old memories would have been as happy as it was.

(Actually, I have this theory that the ‘original’/no-memory Katarina was running in a similar way as our Katarina, only she responded to the worry with sharp eyes and teeth, instead of brushing it aside with a determined smile. But that’s an analysis for another time, possibly after more of the Verge of Destruction spinoff is out and I’ve reread it a bit more.)

So, all that being the case- why should she be less blithe about things? Why would she be more cautious? Why would she start worrying any more about things beyond her newly-lifted worries about her doom? Her determination to charge facefirst through situations with a good nature, direct problem-solving, and some slightly-suspect assumptions that have always been close enough to the heart of things before- that’s always seen her through.

(Also, like. After everything, when she’s finally, finally able to stop worrying about her doom flags- enjoying all the people and things she loves without digging into the bits and troublesome bobs of it all, getting in a sense a second new lease on life- she can be forgiven for wanting things to be as simple as she’s always tried to make her one most looming problem in the past.)

(Also also, she did have to go through the stages between “you’re all adorable but you’re all 8 and I’m like 16 and I literally cannot be attracted to you, that’s weird” and “well I guess you’re all the same age as me-in-this-life but a large part of me is still 16, so it’s still weird” and “I haven’t changed much over the years because living through the same years twice isn’t really growing up so much as it is being 16 for an extra year or four and then being 12 again and then 13 again and then 14 again and then 15 again and only then finally getting a chance to grow older than 16- and in the meanwhile wait shit now you’re all the same age as me for real. now you’re not just breathtakingly cute or beautiful like a freaking artwork, now you’re making my heart skip a beat, uhhhhhh”.

It’s not particularly surprising that after years of thinking “yeah but I’m older than you, you’re like 8″ that it’s going to take being blindsided multiple times for Katarina to get into the swing of “wait, you’re my age or older and now, suddenly you’re able to be hot. wtf.”)

I don’t really have a conclusion to all this, exactly.

Just that- Katarina may have the sense of a single turnip sometimes, albeit a very good-natured turnip, but while some of it is absolutely just How She Is Even At Peace, some of it’s most likely a response to quite a few environmental factors over the years. And her life has rewarded her for the type of resiliency that she’s used to face her doom flags- the doom flags she’s been politely carrying and deflecting the stress of for seven years.

Direct and simple and kind and uncomplicated in nature she may be- and a bit slow on the subtext sometimes- but Katarina Claes should not be mistaken for lacking in willful resolve where it counts, nor mistaken for lacking fears, nor mistaken for lacking in ability to plan and analyze. I’m pretty sure she just... concludes that kindness is best, people are good, and that this life and the people in it are worth it.

She’s got more to her than just “oblivious harem protag is oblivious and really nice”. And honestly, I think if you look at her closely, she’s a lot more reasonable than people make her out to be.

[miguel-manbemel]

Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 52: The Truth Is Revealed - Nico’s Reaction

I thought I wouldn’t have this ready on time, as for some reasons, this week has been kind of a torture for me and I found it really hard to find the motivation to write. Fortunately, I managed to overcome that sentiment and get in a better mood with enough time to finish this episode. We are slowly approaching the ending of season 2 of this fanfic. We’re not there yet, but we’re coming. I hope that the ending is satisfactory for everyone, when it comes. And with this said, I leave you with the episode. Until next time.

SYNOPSIS: Thomas has decided to tell Nico the truth about the existence of the Sanders Sides, as they need his help to save Dillon from the Paladin. However, he doesn’t know how Nico’s going to react and is afraid to lose him if he gets too scared of Thomas’ secret life with the Sides.

WARNINGS: A lot of romance and words of love, mainly from Thomas to Nico.

EPISODE INDEX

[Thomas is nervously looking at the door. Virgil is next to him, both are sitting on the couch]

THOMAS: I’m so scared, Virge… So scared…

VIRGIL: I’m sorry, Thomas, I can’t help it… I know what we’re doing is the right thing to do, but still, I can’t help giving you this nervousness…

THOMAS: Nico could be here any moment… And even though I’ve rehearsed and rehearsed what I’m going to tell him, something tells me that in the critical moment, my mind’s gonna go blank and I’m not gonna know what to say… For starters, I don’t even know if he’s angry at me over the abrupt ending of our date last time. He said he isn’t, but maybe he was just being nice… Maybe I’ve already blew it up and there’s nothing I can do already, so being so nervous would be silly in that case… and if he doesn’t love me anymore, my life is gonna be miserable, ‘cause I know I’ll never find a guy like him again, and I don’t know if…

VIRGIL: Whoa, whoa, Thomas, please! You’re going so fast in your nervousness I can’t even follow your rhythm! Seriously, what is my purpose in this Mind Palace if you already take all the work yourself faster than I do? Gosh!

THOMAS: Sorry, Virge…

[intro sequence]

[someone knocks at the door]

THOMAS: Oh, gosh, he’s here… Okay, don’t panic… It’s only Nico, your boyfriend… but for how long? Sush! Sush… Virge, you’re invisible for him, right?

VIRGIL: Yes, I am, but I’d wish to be invisible in your thoughts right now too… Good luck, Thomas.

[Thomas sighs]

THOMAS: What will be, will be… Let’s go.

[Thomas opens the door. Nico is there, smiling at Thomas]

THOMAS: Hi, Nico… Gosh, your sole presence already makes my day brighter. Come in.

NICO: Thank you, Thomas. I love you too.

[Nico kisses Thomas on the cheek and gets into the living room followed by Thomas. He sits on the couch… right on Virgil]

VIRGIL: What the… whoops!

[however, Nico goes through him as if Virgil was made of air, not feeling his presence at all. Virgil quickly stands up and sits down on another couch. Thomas looks at the scene a little nervous but quickly puts himself together]

NICO: You said you wanted to see me, and something tells me it could be important. What is it? Oh, but most importantly, how are you feeling today? The other day, I left a little worried. I kept thinking I should have stayed in case you got worse so I could take you to the hospital if need be.

THOMAS: Oh, I’m fine, Nico, don’t worry. It was just some feeling of nausea I suddenly had. It left me an hour or so later after I took a chamomile tea. It was a bummer that it ruined our date when everything was going so perfect.

NICO: Yeah, if I could have, I would have stayed all night with you. I was enjoying your company so much, I didn’t want it to end at all…

THOMAS: [silly smile] Me neither… It’s funny how we only met last Christmas, a few weeks ago, and yet it’s like I’ve shared my whole life with you and I couldn’t remember how I used to live before you came into my life. Does it happen the same to you?

NICO: Yes… yes, it does. But for sure you didn’t call me here just to tell me words of love, Thomas. I mean I could hear them and tell them back to you all day long, but you had something to tell me. What is it? Like I said, something in your voice on the phone made me think it was something important. What’s the matter?

THOMAS: [nervous] Yes… okay… Nico, you better sit down because what I’m gonna tell may shock you…

NICO: Thomas… I’m already sitting down. You are so nervous… and you’re making me nervous. Please, calm down. Whatever it is, I can take it.

THOMAS: You’re right, sorry… It’s something to be nervous about, because it’s something I’ve told very few people in this world. Which reminds me to tell you that everything I’m gonna tell you must be kept as a secret. No one must ever know. I count on your discretion.

NICO: Of course, Thomas, you have my word. Whatever it is, no one will know your secret through me, I promise.

THOMAS: Thank you. You see, it’s something that has happened to me since I was a little boy. I have… a gift, you might call it? Even though sometimes I’ve been tempted to call it a curse, I still call it a gift, because it has given to me a group of friends no one could ever be closer to. More than friends, they are a family, a family that has been with me, by my… side… since I was like three years old.

NICO: I don’t understand.

THOMAS: I know, it’s very hard to understand, so I’ll start from the beginning, although I fear I’m going to confuse you a lot. You see, there are some people in this world whose brain works in some particular pattern of brainwaves, a very rare pattern, that triggers a very special reaction, you could almost call it… magic. These people have the power of summoning the different aspects of their personality that normally reside in their brain as brainwaves and turn them into real people. Then they can sustain conversations with them about whatever is bothering them in their daily life, about any complicated dilemma… anything. Even more than that. These people have the power of creating a whole alternate dimension from these same brainwaves which act as a portal to said dimension, which hold everything that person is, has been or will be, in what regards to their personality, way of thinking and so on.

NICO: You are talking about “some people”, are you trying to tell me that…

THOMAS: Yes, Nico. I am one of said people. I don’t know why, I didn’t choose it or know how it works exactly, but I have that gift, and the aspects of my personality I summon, they are called the Sanders Sides, who live in the Mind Palace, the dimension I talked about.

[there’s a short silence before Nico speaks]

NICO: Thomas… are you drunk?

THOMAS: I’ve never been more sober in my life Nico. I expected you wouldn’t believe me, but I swear, for the love I feel for you, that what I’m saying is true.

NICO: This… I can’t believe all of this and you shouldn’t be surprised at all. All of this just looks like taken from a fairy tale, and I don’t believe in fairy tales. Thomas, please don’t take offense at what I’m going to say, but I think you may have spent so much time alone that perhaps you have started mixing reality and fiction. I have seen your YouTube series, Sanders Sides, and I recognize what you have just described to me as taken from that series. Yes, perhaps it happened to you as it happened to Alonso Quijano, who went crazy over reading to many chivalric books and thought he was Don Quijote de La Mancha and a vulgar woman from the next town a fair maiden named Dulcinea. That… or you’re playing a practical joke on me, I don’t know…

THOMAS: As I said, I didn’t expect you to believe me the first time I told you. No one I ever told this believed me on the first try… until I they saw proof. I anticipated I’d have to prove to you that I’m not insane.

NICO: Prove to me? What do you mean by that?

THOMAS: As I told you, the Sanders Sides are real physical entities surged from my imagination. Usually they live in my head, in the Mind Palace, but when they want, they can get out at will and wander through the real world, or as they call it, the “outer world”. They can make themselves invisible at will or shapeshift into any form, human or not, so as not to attract attention. Believe it or not, one of my Sides is in this room right at this moment.

[Virgil looks at Thomas]

VIRGIL: Should I, Thomas?

THOMAS: In a minute, Virgil, when I give you the sign.

NICO: Who are you talking to? Who is Virgil? You’re scaring me. Perhaps… perhaps I should go…

THOMAS: No, please. Don’t go, at least give me the opportunity to prove you that I’m not crazy.

NICO: [standing up, walking to the middle of the living room] Then what are you waiting for, Thomas? You said they can make themselves visible at will? [spinning around trying to find Virgil’s position to no avail, while Virgil stands up too and slowly walks towards him] Well then, Virgil, whoever you are and wherever you’re standing, why don’t you show up and end this entuerto once and for all. Show yourself!

THOMAS: Go ahead Virgil, show yourself.

[Virgil appears in front of Nico with his face right next to Nico’s face, his creepy music theme sounds]

VIRGIL: [tempest tongue] If you insist, nice to meet you, Nico.

[Nico only lets go a little gasp, then gets completely frozen, looking at the apparition in front of him. He doesn’t move a muscle]

THOMAS: Ni… Nico? Are you okay?

[with the same gesture, Nico collapses and would have fallen to the floor if Virgil hadn’t grabbed him midway]

VIRGIL: Whoa!

THOMAS: Oh, no! Virgil, perhaps you shouldn’t have appeared so close to him all of a sudden. And definitely, you shouldn’t have used your tempest tongue. Do you want to give him a heart attack?

VIRGIL: I’m so sorry, Thomas. You know, when I’m anxious, that voice can appear out of nowhere and I can’t control it. Now, will you help me or…?

THOMAS: Oh, yes, we’ll take him to the couch.

[Thomas and Virgil lay Nico on the couch]

VIRGIL: Well, now what, Thomas?

THOMAS: Perhaps you should step aside a couple of steps so as not to scare him again. I’ll try to wake him up.

VIRGIL: Okay…

THOMAS: Nico… Nico, are you okay? Wake up.

[Nico slowly opens his eyes]

NICO: Oh, Thomas… You wouldn’t believe the dream I just had, I… wait a minute, what am I doing sleeping in your house? Was it…? It was a dream, right? Tell me it was, Thomas.

THOMAS: I… I’m sorry, Nico… but it wasn’t a dream.

[Nico notices Virgil]

VIRGIL: Hello again, sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to scare you like that.

NICO: [sitting down] Oh, my goodness…

THOMAS: Are you okay, Nico? I really didn’t mean to scare you. It’s just that… I thought we were having something good, something that I, at least, want to last for a lifetime… and I thought that, if we were going to be together, I couldn’t have secrets with you… [scared] because you still want to be with me, right?

NICO: I… I… I’m so confused right now, I don’t even know what to think right now…

[Nico stands up]

NICO: I’m sorry, but I need some fresh air to put my ideas in order. I gotta go, Thomas.

THOMAS: [sighs] As you wish, Nico… I understand.

[Nico leaves the house. Thomas looks at the closed door while a tear falls down his cheek]

VIRGIL: I’m sorry, Thomas. I’m sorry this didn’t go as we wished.

THOMAS: [trembling voice, trying to hide his feelings and pretend he’s okay] It… It’s okay. If this was bound to happen… it’s better that it happened this soon in our relation and not when I was too invested into it and someone got hurt… [bursting into tears] Oh, who am I trying to lie to, I was already invested and it hurts…

[Virgil hugs Thomas]

VIRGIL: If it serves as consolation… he still hasn’t broken up with you, not officially at least. Perhaps it’s true that he just needs some time to think.

THOMAS: [sobbing] I really want to believe that, Virge… but I’m not so sure of it…

VIRGIL: Well, there’s nothing we can do about it right now, so… [sweet voice, petting Thomas’ hair] Oh, hush, my friend, hush. It’s okay… It’s gonna be okay…

[Thomas keeps sobbing for some time, but slowly he calms down]

VIRGIL: That’s better. Now, would you like to play some video games here? It’s been ages since we had a good old game and at least it would help distract you, and me to ease up.

THOMAS: Thank you, Virge, for trying to lift my spirits up even when it is against your nature. You truly are a good friend.

VIRGIL: I’ll always be here for you. So, wanna play?

THOMAS: [sniffing and cleaning the tears with his hands] Of course, Virge, of course.

[Thomas and Virgil start playing video games. After about an hour or so, someone knocks at the door]

VIRGIL: Were you expecting someone, Thomas?

THOMAS: [pausing the game] No… Oh… do you think it could be…?

VIRGIL: There’s only one way to find out, Thomas.

[Thomas rushes to the door and opens it. Nico is there]

THOMAS: Nico!

NICO: Can I… can I come in?

THOMAS: Of course you can, Nico.

[Nico comes in. He notices Virgil]

NICO: Hello, Virgil. How… how are you doing?

VIRGIL: I’m okay, Nico, thanks for asking, and as I said, I’m sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean to scare you.

NICO: It’s okay.

THOMAS: So… you came back…

NICO: Yes, I did… To be honest… I didn’t go too far. I didn’t even leave the neighborhood, nor I got into the car, it was still there at the door. I just walked for a while, then sat down in the park nearby, thinking about everything, reflecting about all of this.

THOMAS: And did you get to a conclusion?

NICO: I did. After some time, when the scare wore off, I reviewed things in my mind more calmly, and I realized something. I… really didn’t see anything bad at all in you having Sides. Like, nothing at all. Of course it’s weird, but that isn’t necessarily bad. And on the other hand, I was certain of something I already knew before. Thomas, I love you. I love you… like I never loved a man before in my life. I don’t care if you have Sides or not. I love you and I don’t want to give you up. There’s one word you mentioned earlier, a word that, without me noticing it, got stuck into my mind and my heart as something I really wanted to have: a lifetime with you. I envisioned a lifetime with you and I couldn’t feel happier. You can bet that, if you let me, I’m gonna fight to make that lifetime with you work and I’m not ever leaving you as long as you love me.

[Thomas, imbued by a sudden passion, hugs and kisses Nico, while Virgil watches the scene with a heartwarming smile and his eyeshadow turns bright purple. After the kiss, Nico notices Virgil’s change]

NICO: Whoa, what’s that?

VIRGIL: What? Oh, this? Please, don’t’ mind me. When Thomas feels butterflies in his stomach, like you’re making him feel right now, I turn into a Glo Worm, it seems. It ruins my aesthetic, but to be honest, I feel so incredibly good when it happens that I don’t mind it happening at all.

NICO: [smiling at Thomas] Aw… that’s so cute.

THOMAS: [nervous giggle] Yes… it is, although I’m not so sure if I want anyone to rat my feelings out so easily…

VIRGIL: Well, sorry, Thomas, but I’m part of you as you know. He asked, I answered. Besides, with that kiss you have just given him, I think you made your emotions quite clear before he saw my purple eyeshadow.

THOMAS: You got me there.

NICO: Speaking about parts of you… how many of you, Sides, are there? I’m intrigued now.

THOMAS: Do you want to know them?

NICO: Yes, I would love to. And I would also love to see what you called the Mind Palace, that place must certainly be something.

THOMAS: If I could, I would take you to the Mind Palace, so that you could meet my Sides in their habitat. You would love it. Alas, that’s not possible yet.

NICO: Why not?

THOMAS: Well, I can only bring in and out of my Mind Palace people who have gone through a certain process. They must synchronize their brainwaves through hypnosis to make them compatible with mine. For that, we need my friend Talyn, but they’re out of town now. I can’t wait for that moment to come, though.

NICO: Gotcha. Still, I want so bad to know your Mind Palace. I imagine it to be such an incredible place. If I close my eyes, I can almost see it…

[Nico closes his eyes and smiles, rejoicing in his thoughts… then, out of a sudden, he sinks down and disappears]

THOMAS: [scared] Wait, what? Nico!

VIRGIL: [in shock, his eyeshadow turns black] Oh, my goodness! What has just happened?

THOMAS: I… I don’t know… Could he have… sank down into the Mind Palace?

VIRGIL: But he hasn’t been synchronized! That’s impossible!

THOMAS: And yet, there’s no other explanation. Come with me, Virge, we need to find him!

[Thomas and Virgil sink down, then they rise up in Logan’s room. Logan and Patton are there, playing Scattergories]

PATTON: Oh, hi, kiddos!

VIRGIL: Hi, dad.

LOGAN: What’s wrong, guys? You look concerned.

THOMAS: Have you seen Nico anywhere?

LOGAN: What? Nico? You have synchronized him without warning us to get into autopilot!? Thomas, how could you…?

THOMAS: That’s the weirdest thing, Logan! We didn’t synchronize him! He just sank down naturally!

LOGAN: Oh… and besides, Patton didn’t fall asleep as it happens to everyone but me when you’re hypnotized… That’s weird. Could it be that he has his own Mind Palace and has sank down there?

THOMAS: I… I hadn’t thought about that… Who knows…? But I don’t think so, otherwise, he wouldn’t have freaked out so much over knowing of the Sides’ existence. No, I don’t know how or why, but he must be somewhere in this Mind Palace. The question is where?

LOGAN: Don’t worry, Thomas, he can’t have gone too far. We’ll help you search.

THOMAS: Thank you, guys. Okay, you guys go to Roman’s room and I’ll go with Virgil to Janus’.

PATTON: Okay, kiddo. Good luck.

[everybody sinks down. Then Thomas and Virgil rise up in Janus’ room. Janus is touching up his snake make up and Remus is doing Remus stuff in the kitchen]

JANUS: Oh, hi, Thomas, hi Virge.

VIRGIL: Hi, Janus. Hi, Remus.

REMUS: Do you want to taste what I’m cooking? I just hunted it behind the counter!

VIRGIL: Uh… no, thanks.

THOMAS: We came here to check if Nico was here. But it seems you didn’t see him.

JANUS: Nico is in the Mind Palace? How?

THOMAS: That’s what I’d wish to know. He must be somewhere, but where?

VIRGIL: Well, we can rule out Sandersia, for sure. Unless you’re the Mind Palace owner, that is you, Thomas, from the outer world, you can only reach directly the rooms, and any other place must be reached once you are in the Mind Palace.

REMUS: And you can also rule out my room. It is protected by a barrier only Roman and I can cross as you remember, and the other door is through Sandersia, which is also ruled out, so.

[Logan and Patton rise up in Janus’ room with Roman and Ian]

ROMAN: They already brought me up to date. Nico isn’t in my room either, Thomas.

IAN: And we can see he’s not here either.

VIRGIL: Then there’s only one place he could have gone to. My room.

THOMAS: Oh, my goodness! Then, that means he must have met the ghouls that are living there! I hope they didn’t cause a shock too bad on him! We must hurry!

[everybody sinks down. Then, they rise up in Virgil’s room. Nico is there playing video games with the ghouls]

NICO: Oh, Thomas! There you are!

THOMAS: Nico! Oh, my goodness, you scared me so bad! Are you okay?

NICO: I’m fine, Thomas. I don’t know what happened I just closed my eyes, and when I opened them, your room had changed, and these guys were on the couch playing video games. They’re very nice, actually.

HEIGHT: Thank you. You’re very nice too, Nico.

THOMAS: Well, thanks guys for taking care of my boyfriend. I don’t know how he got here in my Mind Palace, but he just sank down in here.

NICO: Really? This is your Mind Palace? Wow…

VERTIGO: He just rised up in the middle of the room. We got a little shocked when we saw him, as it was clear he wasn’t one of the Sides, he didn’t look like you. But we just got along instantly. Are all humans so kind and fun to hang out with?

THOMAS: Nah, I just think that Nico is one of a kind, that’s why I love him.

NICO: Same, Thomas.

THOMAS: And now, how could this happen? How could Nico enter my Mind Palace barely without trying without going through the synchronization? Logan, have you got any explanation?

LOGAN: Well, if Nico could enter here, then that means only one thing: his brainwaves are naturally compatible with yours. He was born with the ability of entering your Mind Palace in particular.

PATTON: Awww, that’s so cute!

LOGAN: Why is it cute, Patton?

PATTON: Don’t you see? Thomas and Nico were born for each other! They are soul mates that were destined to be together, bound to meet and to be together sooner or later! So compatible that they read each other’s mind, or in this case enter each other’s mind.

[Thomas and Nico look at each other, then smile]

THOMAS: Do you think so, Patton?

PATTON: Yes!

JANUS: I don’t know if such thing as soul mates does really exist to begin with. To me it looks all a little… commercial, like St. Valentine’s Day.

ROMAN: Oh, shut up, Sulk Scales, I love that thought, it’s so romantic that it bums me I didn’t think of it first!

THOMAS: Roman, nicknames.

ROMAN: Sorry, Janus.

PATTON: Oh, Janus, don’t be like that! You know first hand that love is real. And that explains that huge force I felt the other day, so much so that it overwhelmed me and left me almost out of breath.

THOMAS: Wait, what? Patton, you never told me that! Are you okay?

PATTON: Yes, kiddo. I am now. I got accustomed to it. It’s just that your love for Nico is so strong it fills out the whole Mind Palace with its strength. That’s why the Core told me that Nico was needed to save Virgil and Roman’s son…

NICO: Wait, what?

[Thomas frowns at Patton]

VIRGIL: Great going, dad. Thomas hadn’t told him anything about that yet.

PATTON: [covering his mouth] Oh, I’m so sorry, guys. I thought you had already talked it out.

NICO: What does he mean, Thomas?

THOMAS: Well, I wanted to touch this topic later, when you got accustomed to the existence of my Sides, but as the cat is out of the bag now… You see, Roman and Virgil’s son, Dillon, is trapped by a malicious entity called the Paladin who has taken possession of his body. Patton has discovered that the only way to save him is by you going by my side into the Cave of Doom, where we have him contained, and help me take care of him.

NICO: That sounds dangerous.

THOMAS: It probably is. Inside the Mind Palace, I have power, and I would make sure to protect you from any danger we may face… But I’m sorry that my Mind Palace isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It has its dark places and its malicious entities too. I’d wish to be, but I’m not perfect as that attests.

NICO: I don’t care if you’re not perfect. Is anyone perfect at all? I’m not perfect either, Thomas, and that’s okay. Don’t beat yourself about it.

THOMAS: Of course, Nico, I would never demand you to help us, especially if there is some kind of risk for you. Heck, I’m totally against you participating in this anyway because I don’t want to endanger you. [to Virgil and Roman] Sorry, guys, but I had to say it.

ROMAN: It’s totally fine, Thomas, we understand. And like we told you, there’s no need for Nico to participate. We’ll try to find another way.

THOMAS: Gosh, but it makes me feel so guilty… Dillon’s life is endangered… but at the same time… gosh, this is tearing me apart.

NICO: Thomas, I’ll do it.

THOMAS: What?

NICO: I know you want to protect me, because you always want to treasure and protect what you love, but I’m my own person to make the choice, and if you say that there’s one life endangered if I don’t help, my own consciousness tells me that I need to do my best to help. I’ll help you, in every way that I can, even if I don’t know what I am supposed to do, but I will. You can count on me.

VIRGIL: Thank you so much, Nico.

ROMAN: We can’t express how thankful we are if you’re willing to help.

THOMAS: Are you sure, Nico? I don’t know to what extent, but this could be dangerous.

NICO: I am sure. And as long as you are by my side, I won’t be afraid.

THOMAS: I love you. I love you so much, you don’t have an idea. Gosh, I know I’m acting so super sweet that I could cause diabetes on anyone passing by, but I can’t help yelling it to the world. I love you, Nicolás Flores.

[Thomas kisses Nico]

[ending card]

[some time later. Thomas has introduced Nico to all of the Sides and talked to him about their adventures]

VIRGIL: … and we also have another son, Chris. Well, his name is Christian Gerard Sanders but we call him Chris for short. He’s now in Sandersia, staying over in Roland’s castle for a few days.

NICO: What is Sandersia?

ROMAN: It’s a land attached to my room where all of Thomas’ characters and creations exist for real. I’m the Royal Prince that rules it, although Roland governs it in my place as regent. Oh, and Roland is my brother, by the way.

NICO: I see… Wow, there’s a lot to memorize here about this world, I hope I don’t get myself into a mess. So many people and places… and it’s all in your head, Thomas. How can you cope?

THOMAS: I’m accustomed already. I’ve been living through it since I was three years old. Don’t worry if you mess up here and there. We understand it’s not easy and it’s all kind of a shock coming all at once so suddenly.

NICO: So, let’s see if I got it right. You, Virgil, are Thomas’ vigilance and anxiety.

VIRGIL: Correct.

NICO: You, Roman, are Thomas’ pure Creativity, his romanticism and his ego.

ROMAN: Perfect.

NICO: Remus, you are Roman’s twin brother and Thomas’ not so pure creativity.

REMUS: Oh, I could kiss you. Can I kiss him, Thomas?

JANUS: [frowning] No, no you can’t, Remus.

NICO: You, Janus, you are Thomas’ deceitful nature and his self-preservation.

JANUS: Not impressed at all that you remembered…

NICO: Patton, you’re Thomas’ morality, his feelings and his inner child.

PATTON: Yes, kiddo, exactly.

NICO: You, Logan, are Thomas’ logical thinking and his acquired knowledge.

LOGAN: A+ for you, Nico.

NICO: You, Ian, you are Janus’ brother and encompass Thomas’ honest thinking. You two used to be kind of Siamese brothers sharing the same body in turns, but now are independent.

IAN: That’s right.

NICO: And then, there’s Chris, who, you said, is Thomas’ angsty creativity, and he’s Roman and Virgil’s son, as well as Dillon’s brother. I still don’t understand well how two people with the same reproductive organs could conceive a child, but the rest I got it right.

THOMAS: That’s easy to understand, though. As Sides are not human, they don’t follow the same biological rules as humans do and the laws of science don’t affect them. We’re talking about entities that can appear and disappear, can shapeshift, stretch their limbs as if they were made of rubber… it was only natural that reproduction didn’t work the same as with humans.

NICO: Gotcha… speaking about their son, there’s one thing I wonder. Each Side has at least one function in Thomas’ psyche. What does Dillon encompass exactly?

ROMAN: Well, to be honest, we don’t truly know.

VIRGIL: Yeah, we guessed that he encompassed Thomas’ hope, that’s why we named him Dillon, which means hope in Irish. You know that Thomas has Irish ancestors, right?

NICO: Yes, he told me. But you guessed he was Thomas’ hope? You’re not sure?

ROMAN: No, because that dang Paladin caught him even before he was born and we couldn’t identify him. Logan used to be able to examine us with an ability he had in his hands, he could have detected the Paladin’s presence inside Dillon’s body as soon as I delivered him. But he lost that ability in some unfortunate event we’ll tell you about some day, and couldn’t do it.

LOGAN: On the subject of my ability… guys, there’s one thing I gotta announce to you.

ROMAN: What is it, Logan?

LOGAN: Remember our latest adventure with the Core, how I had to stretch my arm to catch Patton before he was absorbed by the Core?

NICO: What?

LOGAN: Don’t worry, Nico, we’ll explain to you later. The point is that when my hand got closer to the Core… the Core’s influence touched it and its power imbued me without me even noticing in the turmoil of angst over saving Patton.

ROMAN: Are you going to tell me that the Core got you a gift, just like Patton now can heal us?

LOGAN: It got me a gift, but not a new gift like Patton’s. You guys, the Core has brought my examination ability back. We knew it was a matter of a long time that it was restored, but the Core accelerated that restoration. I can check you guys again.

THOMAS: That’s so great to hear, Logan! I’m happy for you! That ability was always very useful for all of us and it’s good to know that you have it back!

LOGAN: Yes, but not only it has restored it, it has removed the unpleasant side effect of electrification that I felt if I checked someone’s memories or that someone felt if I sent him mine. Now it’s all a more pleasant, totally painless process.

JANUS: Great, because I still remember that electric feeling and it wasn’t pleasant at all.

THOMAS: Okay, guys. Then if we’re all set, we need to start making a plan. There’s a Side in distress in the bottom of a cave that needs our help, a cave we also need to conquer back so that the ghouls can recover their friends and home. It’s time to face the Paladin once and for all.

[katehuntington]

Title: Changes - part seven Word count: ±3000 words Summary “Changes”: Huntress Zoë Sullivan (OFC) crosses paths and swords with the Winchesters, when the brothers stumble on a case she’s already working. When complications arise, they are forced to work together. Summary part seven: Sam finds a perculiar place for him and his brother to spend the night, but can’t get the female hunter out of his mind. What caused her to act the way that she did? Episode warnings: Dark! NSFW, 18+ only! Angst, gore, violence, character death. Description of blood, injury and medical procedures. Demon possession, supernatural creatures/entities. Smut, swearing, alcohol use/addiction. Kidnapping, mentions of torture and murder, illegal/criminal practices. Mentions of nightmares and flashbacks.  Music: The Passenger - Iggy Pop & The Stooges. Author’s note: I couldn’t be more excited to share Supernatural: The Sullivan Series with you. There are quite a few people I want to thank: @coffee-obsessed-writer​​​, @soupornatural​​​ & @mrswhozeewhatsis​​​, who edited the early drafts, and my girls @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish​​​ & @winchest09​​​ who are deciphering the recent version. Everyone who encouraged me to go for it, you are awesome!

Supernatural: The Sullivan Series Masterlist 01x01 “Changes” Masterlist

    “No, it doesn’t matter… Any room… Alright… Thank you, sir.” Sam removes his phone from his ear and presses the disconnect button.     That’s settled then; they have a place to spend the night. He’s not sure if Dean is gonna be happy about the type of room, it being expensive as well, but at least he will have a bed.     The younger Winchester shuts the screen of his laptop and puts it away in his backpack beside his feet, then rests his head against his seat. The green neon of the pharmacy sign up the street flickers rhythmically. Dean killed the engine but left the key in the ignition, allowing The Passenger by Iggy Pop & The Stooges to play on the radio. Sam has the urge to change the station, rock is more Dean’s kind of thing than it is his. But as always, he doesn’t, knowing that if he did, he would receive a ‘Dude, don’t change the fucking station’ comment when his brother gets back.

    He closes his eyes for a moment, but makes sure he doesn’t fall asleep. Man, he’s so tired. He feels like he could sleep for days, but a nightmare would probably spoil his moment of rest, just like they have for the last month. He sighs, listening to the cars driving by and footsteps on the sidewalk next to their parking spot. Then he looks outside, watching people hasten to their destination. Ordinary people, men, women, children. All with a certain goal, they seem to know where they’re heading. Business people in neat suits, mothers out shopping, kids hanging around after school. The lives of most of them are so simple. They don’t have a clue what’s really going on, what other world they’re living parallel to. He remembers brief moments of the time he didn’t know. If he had the smallest hunch of what he is aware of now, he would have never begged his brother to tell him. He closes his eyes again and breathes out; what a wonderful world.

    Out of nowhere, a loud bang sounds through the car. Sam almost jumps out of his skin and looks outside, startled, expecting to witness a car crash, but instead, he sees his smirking brother with his fist still resting against the window. Sam rolls his eyes while Dean walks around the car and gets in.     He laughs as he opens the bag. “You were out, man.”     “No I wasn’t,” Sam denies. “Did you get something?”     “Vicodin.” Dean shows off his meds, pops one capsule out of the package and knocks it back.     “Don’t you need a prescription for that kind of stuff?” Sam contemplates.     “Yeah, but the pharmacist was hot,” Dean grins, waving a card with a cell number written on it in the air.

    Sam shakes his head and chuckles; typical.     “Shall I drive? I’m quite sure you’re not allowed when you’re on Vicodin,” he suggests.     “Dude, we face death on a daily basis, and you’re worried about my driving skills after one teensy weensy Vicodin pill?” He glances in his side mirror before he turns his car back on the road.     “Touché,” Sam admits.     “Found a place to stay?” Dean checks.     “Yeah, I did.”

    The black Chevrolet approaches traffic lights on the corner of S. Broadway and 2nd Street Southwest, as Dean looks aside at his brother, his hand resting on the wheel. “Where to?”     “Take a right here, then the second right and a final fifth left. It’s not that far,” Sam explains.     Dean does as told, but gazes at Sam for a moment after he accelerates and makes the turn.     “What are you? A hunter equipped with a global positioning system?” he chuckles.     “I’m surprised you managed to say those fancy words without stuttering,” Sam counters.     “Hey, I’m surprised you still can’tgive out your fake ID without stuttering, you don’t hear me belly achin’ about it,” Dean counters with a grin, secretly enjoying their brotherly banter.

    Five minutes later, they leave the car in a small parking lot next to a three-story red brick building that used to be a warehouse once. Now, purple neon light flickers above the entrance: Deep Purple Inn.     “If the place is as good as the music, this is gonna be a hell of a stay,” Dean comments, glancing through the windshield.     “I thought you just needed some sleep?” Sam refers while he gets out and looks over the top of the car.     “I still do, but Stacy gets off at nine.” Dean closes the door with a smirk on his face.     “Stacy?” Sam asks, puzzled.     “Keep up, man! Vicodin-girl,“ his brother reminds him as he picks up the pharmacy bag from the back seat.     “Right.” Sam looks down at his feet with a chuckle. “And your point?”     He waits for a response while they enter the motel. The Inn is obscurely decorated, purple being the main theme, not surprisingly. The peculiar interior design choices have both the Winchesters frowning as they take in the lobby.     “My point is that while you are out checking on Zoë, I’ll be checking out Stacy,” Dean clears up, after redirecting his attention to Sam.     He leans his left arm on the counter, careful not to harm his shoulder. He beams and raises his brows as his eyes sparkle; seems like he’s gonna get lucky tonight.

    “Can I help you guys?” A young bloke, probably in his mid-twenties, turns his office chair and faces the brothers. He’s dressed in casual clothing with a waistcoat, his black hair is spiked with shiny gel.     “Yeah, we just called in for a room. Is it still open?” Sam checks.     “You probably talked to my manager, but yeah.” He nods. “We have a room left.”     “We’ll take it,” Sam decides as he slips a credit card.     The guy behind the counter gets up and takes the card. Impatiently, Sam checks his phone for the time; it’s four PM. Zoë’s meeting Terry Cliffer in an hour and a half and he wants to be there before she does. His brother, on the other hand, already seems to have forgotten about the argument with their fellow hunter, as he steals his fifth caramel toffee from the counter, puts it in his mouth and looks around to make sure no one saw it.

    “So, you just drove back in from Canada or somethin’?” the desk clerk asks, as he passes the card back to Sam.     “Beg your pardon?” he asks, somewhat dazed.     The young guy captures Dean’s attention as well, because he studies him with the same confused expression, having some difficulty chewing his toffee. They don’t receive an answer, though, at least not a direct one.     “Here you go.” The young guy puts a gift basket wrapped up in glittery transparent paper on the counter.     He places the key of room 301 next to it as Sam reads the card; Just married. Dean frowns when he detects a pair of handcuffs inside, upholstered with purple fluffy fur.     “What is this?” Sam looks from the gift basket to the guy behind the counter.     “You just got married, right?” the counter guy checks.

    Dean chokes on his toffee and coughs as the younger of the Winchesters stares from one to the other, flabbergasted. What did he say?     “Dude! We’re brothers!” Dean corrects with a raspy voice, not having cleared his windpipe entirely yet.     “Is that legal these days?” the young guy returns, disgusted.     “What? No - no - no. You got this all wrong. We’re not married, we just want a place to spend the night,” Sam clears up.     “Nice going, Sam. That sounded even grosser,” the older of the two comments.     “You do know you rented the bridal suite, Mr… Gillan?” he now carefully asks, reading the false name from the screen which he just got from Sam’s credit card.     “You rented the bridal suite?!” Dean exclaims, dramatically.     “It was the only room I could find,” Sam answers, guilty.     Dean rolls his eyes and turns around, lifting his arms from his side in disbelief. “He rented the bridal suite.”     “You brothersstill want it?” the guy behind the counter makes sure, clearly not impressed by all the fuss.

    Sam waits for Dean to approve. It doesn’t take long before he sighs, a frustrated hand gesture combined with an eye roll telling him to settle for the room. Sam takes the key and is followed by Dean, who snatches the gift basket off the counter as he walks by. When he receives a questioning look from the clerk, he turns around to face him.     “I’m expecting company later this evening. Might be needing those,” he points out the handcuffs in the goody bag. “Her name is Stacy somethin’. Make sure she gets in.”    “Will do,” he promises with a slight nod.

    While shaking his head, the older Winchester catches up with Sam, who’s waiting for him at the staircase. He glares at the gift basket and back at Dean, wondering what on earth he would want with that.     “Don’t worry, it’s for Stacy, not you,” Dean assures, as he begins his climb to the third floor.     Sam chuckles, he almost forgot about that. At this moment, however, Dean seems more bugged by being called queer, than happy to have a cute pharmacist over for the evening.     “Can you believe that guy?” Dean turns around at the top of the stairs and looks down on Sam. “Come on, do I give off a gay vibe?!”     Sam halts and looks up, pressing his lips into a thin line to suppress a laugh. Although Dean does his best to be all manly and tough, the thatched basket hanging from his arm gives a different idea.     Dean notices Sam’s strained face, glares skyward and moves on. “Don’t answer that.”

    They conquer three stories and arrive at room 301. Sam turns the key and opens the door, revealing the suite to Dean. He lifts his eyebrows as his brother switches on the lights and walks in. Purple. The walls, the sheets, the curtains, everything is either painted or fabricated a shade of purple. Several spotlights look down at them from the ceiling like tentacles of an octopus, and abstract paintings decorate the wall. The ceiling is the only surface that isn’t draped in the obnoxious color, but it reflects all that is via a giant mirror. The bedposts are made of steel and reach up to the ceiling, seeming to go on in the reflection. Small cushions are carefully made up on the bedspread.

    Dean sets the basket down on the main table near the window as he checks out the ceiling, the huge bed and its poles, imagining watching Stacy hanging from one of those. Or even better, being cuffed to one of those. He sniggers gruffly. They’ve come across their fair share of strange rooms, but this one is off the charts. Either the interior designer was intoxicated with Purple drank or was high on LSD, because no one in their right mind would come up with this.     “This is awesome,” he concludes, amused with the absurdity of the suite.     “There’s only one bed,” Sam notices.     “No shit, Captain Obvious. It’s a bridal suite. Not sure what you had in mind for your wedding night, but if you were thinking separate beds, you weren’t doing it right,” Dean chuckles, sauntering towards the large king size.

    There’s no clever answer following up his comment and Dean looks aside. When he sees his brother’s face, he realizes he hit a sore spot and his smile disappears. Sam might have pictured his wedding already, since Jessica was his longtime girlfriend. He’s quite sure Sam hadn’t proposed yet, but he knows his younger brother; he planned his future. It might have crossed his mind once or twice.     “Sorry, man,” Dean apologizes. “But now that we started on that subject; you don’t sleep, right?”     Sam closes the door behind them and turns at his brother. He decides to let it go.     “Right, not much anyway,” he answers with some hesitation, not sure where Dean is going with this.     “Good, then I’ll take this baby,” Dean sighs and falls down on the bed.     As he lands, a sloshing sound comes from inside the mattress as Dean bounces up and down like he’s riding small waves in a pool. His eyes light up and excitedly stares at his brother; it’s a waterbed.     “This is beyondawesome!” he laughs, rocking it even harder.

    Sam chuckles at the sight of his goofy brother, who has the resemblance of a six-year-old. Oh well, at least he’s able to enjoy the little things. For a brief moment, he thinks about Jess again, like he does countless times a day. Dean’s comment resurfaced some thoughts and feelings. Even though his life was turned upside down less than a month ago by her shattering death, it feels like all the good and normal happened so long ago. The gutting pain is still there and will remain for a long time, if not forever. Losing his girlfriend also created a massive rift between what is and what will never be. A canyon so wide, no bridge can span across. He can never be that college student with a bright future in law anymore.

    His mind shifts to the huntress who they crossed paths with, and he wonders if that same unbreachable gap is the reason why she’s so bitter.     “I still don’t get it,” Sam ponders. “Why would Zoë be dead set on working this case herself?”     “You’re still worked up over that? Oh, Sammy,” Dean shakes his head as he lays back on the covers. “Just accept that she’s an insane bitch and let it go, will ya?”     “But she wasn’t like this. You said so yourself,” the younger brother reminds him. “And what’s the deal with Dad? Did you see how angry she got when I mentioned him?”     “As far as I’m concerned she’s in Dad’s debt. Exorcising that Diligo demon was close to impossible. She’s alive because of him,” Dean states, defensive. “Look, I don’t know what crawled up her ass. I mean, you gotta be a little mad to do the job, but she does it alone and has for four years. That does something to a person. Maybe she saw some shit, got some wires crossed–-”     “Dad did the job alone for years when we were kids,” Sam reminds him.     “He always had us to come back to, Sam,” Dean disagrees. “He has a family.”     Sam narrows his eyes now, peering at his brother through his bangs. “She doesn’t?”

    Dean hesitates now, biting at his lip for a second before he answers, staring at his reflection on the ceiling before averting his gaze to his brother. “I don’t think she speaks to them.”     The younger Winchester frowns. “What makes you say that?”     Dean shakes his head, half dismissing his own thought. “It’s probably nothing, just something she said, or didn’t say, really. My guess is that she’s on her own and has been for a while. Explains why she was crawling the walls with us around. We don’t know what her reasoning is, but we do know she’s crazy, pissed off, not to mention a fucking assassin. Best to leave a hunter like that be.”

    Sam huffs, silently disagreeing. Dean might be glad to be rid of the female hunter, he himself can’t give it a rest, though.     “Knowing you won’t…” Dean stretches his back, wincing when his wounded shoulder stings sharply. “What time are you heading out?”     Sam checks his watch; it’s 4:15. Zoë will probably be at the bar in an hour or so.     “Four-thirty. See how that conversation goes, check on Cliffer’s place, maybe,” he says, still contemplating.     “As long as you don’t interrupt me and Vicodin girl, I’m good,” Dean mumbles carelessly.

    While Dean closes his eyes, relieved that the pain is starting to fade, Sam takes out his laptop and plugs it in. He has fifteen minutes to crack the Olmsted county website he was working on earlier. If he can get his hands on some recent blueprints, he might find a pattern that isn’t visible on the older public maps. He opens a few programs on his laptop and after a bit of work, he manages to get into the back of the website. Just before 4:30, he double clicks the ‘ok’ button and his computer begins to download a zip file, which contains the information he’s been looking for.

    That should do it, but for now, he will make sure Zoë is alright. Why? He’s not exactly sure, but he has a feeling he should. He once mistrusted that ‘feminine intuition shit’ – as Dean likes to call it – and Jessica ended up dead because of it. A hard lesson learned, and although Zoë isn’t nearly as important to him as Jess, there’s something about her that feels familiar, that he needs to protect.     He gets up from his chair and walks to the door, glancing at the bed before he leaves. Dean is fast asleep and as Zoë said earlier, he would need to set off a bomb to wake him up. Returning here later tonight will not be an option with the visitor his brother is expecting, but he can worry about that later. For now, he has some business to take care of. He leaves the room, closes the door behind him, and heads off.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate every single one of you, but if you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to reblog my work or buy me coffee (Link in bio at the top of the page).

Read part eight here