#reading is HARD (thank you ADHD :|) so i have been dragging my feet on the novel. i might just download the audiobook

[schneesisterss]

Do you have any head cannons for the other Dimitrescu sisters? I loved your takes on Cassandra!

thank you! <3 and Of Course I have headcannons for the other two. (though not as extensive as the ones I have for Cassandra bc you know... brain rot) BUT HERE:

Daniela:

ADD/ADHD representation

stims include, but not limited to: jumping, hard blinking, leg bouncing, word/phrase/noise repetition, and fidgeting with her clothing

and i’m also CONVINCED she gets the zoomies at random times of the day

Alcina, hearing loud and fast footsteps up and down her hallway at 3am: *sigh* “Daniela! Take it outside!”

followed by a loud THUMP and painful groan (she definitely ran into a wall)

hates loud noises but simultaneously has no volume control

especially when she gets excited

Cassandra has to constantly remind her to lower her voice

“AND THEN I TOOK MY KNIFE AND STABBED THE LYCAN IN THE NECK AND IT WAS SO COOL—”

“Dani, i’m standing right here, why are you yelling?”

she loves play-fighting with her sisters

Cassandra is more willing to entertain her than Bela but the both of them like to see their sister happy. so whenever they recognize Daniela getting antsy they’ll wrestle with her a bit

(Cassandra gets way to into it sometimes and makes Bela be the referee lol. Cass always ends up pinning her younger sister with a proud, competitive smile on her face. Bela let’s Dani win, but we don’t tell her that)

has the keenest senses of the three which makes her the best at stalking/killing pray

and since she can hear the best out of all of them, she unintentionally eves drops on conversations

so Daniela, bless her, has all the tea

tactile learner

will just. touch things

“Life hard, Mothers gown soft”

can get trapped in her own head and doesn’t know how to express to her family what’s bothering her

this can make her very reserved at times and she’ll distance herself for days on end

her mother is really the only person who knows how to get her out of that state. Alcina walks up the long flight of stairs to the highest point of her castle. her youngest daughter likes to come here sometimes when she needs the quiet. “Daniela? Are you up here?”

“Hello, Mother.” Alcina looks up to see her daughter lounging on a banister high up on the ceiling.

“What are you doing up there, my love?” Daniela rubs the fabric of her dress between her fingers. “Cassandra and Bela were arguing again. I don’t like when Cassandra yells.”

Alcina shakes her head. Those two were always going at it. She’ll speak to Bela about it later. “I haven’t seen you in a few days.” Daniela then grabs a fist full of her dress and tugs at it, blinking hard. “Come down for a moment. Talk to me, baby.”

and Daniela simply rolls herself off the banister and into free fall. Alcina, already prepared, catches her with ease and holds her bridal style against her chest. Daniela runs her hands over the sleeve of her mother’s dress.

Alcina gave her youngest child time to gather her thoughts, knowing it sometimes takes longer for her to be able to understand them herself. Daniela finally spoke up: “It’s been very loud recently. Around the castle. Small things, like footsteps or glasses clicking, they sound so loud in my head.” She covers her ears with her hands. “Even now I can still hear Cassandras voice through the castle, it’s pushing in my ears. My head hurts, Mother.”

Alcina gave her daughter a quick squeeze before setting her down. “Follow me baby, I want to show you something.” Daniela followed her Mother through the twists and turns of the castle until they ended up at a door that was just like all the others. It blended in and maybe that’s why Daniela has never noticed it before. “In here.” her mother guided.

Inside was a small library and lounge room. A fire place tucked in the corner and, of course, a wall a wine next to it. Daniela looked at her Mother questioningly.

“Listen.” her mother said, and Daniela did. She heard... nothing. Nothing outside of the quiet cracking of the fire place. “This room is sound proofed. Come here whenever you feel overwhelmed.” She leaned down to stroke her daughters head. “Just don’t tell your sisters I showed you my secret getaway room.” and with a wink, the tall woman exited the room and shut the door behind her.

The next day Daniela was at breakfast like nothing had changed. She didn’t even mind when Cassandra yelled at a maiden for breaking a plate, it only made her laugh.

(if you get overstimulated you KNOW what i’m talking about)

personal space? never heard of her.

loves to cling to Belas arm and Bela let’s her bc she thinks it’s just. so cute.

will also sometimes just crawl into her mothers lap and fall asleep. then Alcinas like: “well.. i guess i’m not moving for three hours”

Daniela: “if I run an jump at Cassandra, she’ll most certainly catch me.” *takes off in a full blown sprint*

Cassandra: “NO IM HOLDING HOT TEA—” *drops tea to catch Daniela* *proceeds to cuss her younger sister out, all while Dani is wrapped around her like a koala*

(this happens a lot. Dani will just... climb on Cassandra. piggy back rides, getting on her shoulders, wrapping her hands around her neck from behind and letting her feet drag on the floor, etc. Cassandra complains adamantly but never once moves to get her off)

Cassandra: “hey Dani, I dare you too—”

Bela: “Mother said Daniela isn’t allowed to accept dares anymore.”

Daniela: “apparently I have ‘no regard for my personal safety.’”

it takes a lot for Daniela to get genuinely angry, but when she does, it’s.... bad.

Very Very Scary when mad

turns into a completely different person that you Do NOT want to fuck with

dangerous and violent

much more dark and sadistic as compared to her normal personality

came home one night covered in blood and laughing hysterically. it scared the shit out of her sisters bc if they would try and get close, she’d slash at them with her weapon.

(this was one of the only times Bela had seen Cassandra genuinely worried and afraid for their sister)

when Alcina came to see what was wrong, Daniela, still laughing madly, swung at her too. Cassandra quickly shot out her arm and grabbed Belas elbow to stop her from getting involved. Bela whipped around with a growl but Cassandras glare and squeezing nails told her to back down. Mother can handle it.

Insane Laugh™️

thinks it’s funny to intimidate the maidens by showing her fangs and snapping her jaw

she often likes to find Bela when she’s reading a book to convince her to read to her (Bela almost always complies)

that’s it for Daniela. just a hyperactive baby with a murder streak <3 ONTO THE FINAL SISTER

Bela:

Mama’s (and I cannot stress this enough) Girl

needs constant reassurance that’s she’s doing a good job and yes this reassurance can ONLY come from her mother

INSOMNIAC

this girl never sleeps, pls baby you need some rest

she spends the time she should be sleeping reading books or running errands for her mother (whether Alcina asked her to or not)

she has read almost every single book in their giant library

Cassandra doesn’t understand this at all

“Why are you always cooped up in here?” Bela glanced up over the pages of her book at her younger sister. “This is the library Cassandra. Take a wild guess.” her voice was completely level and had no inflection. Cassandra gritted her teeth, “You think your so much better than me.” Bela sighed and closed her book. She didn’t want to do this again. “No. I don’t.” she said seriously. Cassandra eyed her for a moment then looked away, Bela saw the guilt on her face before she turned on her heal. “You’re so boring.”

because she reads so much, she is incredibly smart and just knows facts about random things

Daniela, daydreaming: “I wonder why grass is green.”

Bela, immediately: “the pigment that most grasses produce, Chlorophyll, absorbs almost all blue and red light and reflects green light which is why we see green. so I mean, technically grass is every single color EXCEPT for green.

Dani, confused as fuck: ....

Cass: “Bitch, how do you even know that?”

Bela’s sisters just end up using her as Google

“Hey Bela, how far away is the moon?” “238,900 miles.”

“Hey Bela, how many different climates are there?” “Twelve”

“Hey Bela, what’s the worlds deadliest poison?” “Botulinum... why?” “No reason.” “Dani. WHY?”

“Hey Bela, how much can I sell a human skull on the black market for?” Bela, concerned: “Cassandra why would—” “HOW MUCH?” “Well... are all the teeth still in tact?” “...No.” “Than only about $500.” “FUCK.”

“Hey Bela, I have this weird rash on my back and—” “Daniela. Do not finish that sentence. Go ask Mother.”

she is so quiet

and not just because she doesn’t talk very loud or even much at all. she’s just So. Silent. when she moves

just pops up in random places without anyone hearing her approach

even Daniela can’t hear her coming, which is saying something

Cassandra, minding her own business, drinking blood tea: .....

Bela, suddenly right next to her: “Hey I was wondering if— stop screaming, it’s me— have you seen Mothers lipstick? It’s missing.”

refuses any type of help with anything or else she feels like she failed that task

Never asks for help, Never asks for favors, and Never Ever will burden her Mother with any of her problems. Ever.

(Alcina thinks this is ridiculous. her eldest daughter pushes herself too hard.)

Anxiety™️

sometimes when her anxiety becomes too much she shuts down and becomes very indifferent to things around her. this has caused many fights between herself and Cassandra because Cass will get really fired up when all Bela does is respond with a monotone voice and blank stare.

overthinks literally everything and is a perfectionist

this makes her prone to panic attacks :(

when this happens she shuts herself in her room, not wanting to bother her Mother or sisters

Bela closes her bedroom door behind her and stumbles to her knees. she can’t seem to get air into her lungs no matter how hard she tried. she had failed. Mother asked her to bring her the head of that stupid man-thing, but somehow he knew their weakness.

how could he know? are Cassandra and Daniela ok? where are they? where is Mother?

Belas breathing was shallow and short, her chest burns as she presses her forehead into the ground. She claws the skin of her chest raw, leaving angry, red marks behind, desperately trying to open her lungs.

she stays as quiet as she can, only gasping few and far between. she will not be a burden. she should deal with the consequences of her failure. alone.

a sudden knock on her door makes her scramble backwards on her bottom till her back hits the opposite wall. then Belas worst nightmare, her Mothers voice.

“Bela?! Bela, is that you?” Alcinas words were rushes and worried. the door handle jiggled. “Bela, baby the door is locked, please let me in.” Bela covered her mouth and cried silently while her Mother begged to be let in.

the sound of snapping wood had Belas eyes flying open, her Mother had broken down the door. Bela shrunk into herself. She’s going to be so mad. I’m a failure. the ringing in her ears became so intense she couldn’t hear anything else.

large, soft hands cup her cheeks and a muffled voice through the air: “Bela, my love, you’re alright thank god. Are you hurt anywhere? Let me see.”

Bela pushed weakly at her Mothers arms and said between sobs, “I-I’m sorry, M-Mother.”

Alcina looked at her eldest daughter with confusion, she had no physical wounds, but the look on her face was heartbreaking. “What are you sorry for, my love?” this only made Belas breathing spend up even more, her face red from the lack of oxygen. Alcina quickly pulled her in close.

“Now Bela, listen to the sound of my voice,” she said it gently but just hard enough to grab her daughters attention. “I need you to copy my breath. Do it now, love, listen to me. Do what i’m telling you to.” Alcina took exaggerated breaths and noticed that instantly after her command, Bela had tried to follow, but the smaller girls breath was still choppy and small. Alcina rubbed a thumb across Belas cheek. “You’re doing so well baby. Keep going just like that. Good girl.” a smaller hand was placed on her arm and grabbed at her sleeve. “Good baby, use me to ground yourself. Keep breathing now, you’re doing so good.” Alcina kept whispering soft encouragements and praises until her daughters breathing was back to normal and she was laying limp on her chest.

Alcina moved the hair away from Belas face. “What a good girl, you did so well.” Bela squeezed her eyes shut and pushed into her Mother until her face was hidden. “I’m sorry Mother.” came a muffled apology, though her voice was much more steadier than before. “I failed you, I couldn’t stop the man-thing. He shot at the windows! He knows our weakness, Mother. What are we going to do? Where’s Daniela and Cassandra, are they ok? I should have stopped him for you I’m so sorry I—”

“Quiet.” Bela immediately seals her lips and looks away, already extracting herself from her Mother’s arms. She probably hates her. Alcina simple tugs her back and forces Bela to look in her eyes with a quick tap to the forehead. “Bela, I need you to listen to me very carefully.” Her daughters eyes go wide and she nods. “You have nothing to apologize for. This is not you’re fault and I will not allow you to think that way. Plus, the man-thing won’t bother us any longer, I took care of it.”

“But—” Alcina raises an eyebrow and Bela gives in, nodding hesitantly. “Good girl.” Bela exhales through her nose at the phrase and squeezes her Mother’s sleeve again. They sit like that for a few more moments, calming down.

Bela suddenly shoots up. “Daniela, Cassandra, are they—” “They’re fine my dear, Daniela got a little banged up, but Cassandra was already patching her up before I could even get close. We didn’t know where you were, that’s why I was so worried.” Bela relaxed and again nuzzled her nose into her Mother’s chest, took one more deep breath, then stood. “I’m going to go check on them.”

She steps through the now empty door frame and pauses. She spoke without turning around: “I won’t fail you again, Mother.” and shifts into a cloud of flies and disappears.

(am I projecting again? idk help)

can play the piano

no like you don’t understand, she is so good at piano

this girl has mastered songs by composers like Liszt, Beethoven, and Ravel

she’ll play for hours on end, if she starts a new piece she Will Not get up until she can play it through perfectly

she pretends not to notice Cassandra secretly listening to her play, hidden behind a nearby bookshelf

while her younger sisters always jump head first into a fight, Bela takes a more calculating approach. learning her enemies movements from afar before advancing and ending it in like 3 quick moves.

“Well Bela, if Mother asked you to jump off a bridge, would you?”

Bela, already climbing over the railing: “Hm?”

and there you go for Bela! my sweet child.. please learn self-care.

*ahem* I went overboard again didn’t I? WELP. I regret nothing. Give me more headcannons.

[stonerzines]

Hey y’all! I know I haven’t posted in a long time, I’ve been out of town, and then had a really hard time adjusting back to my regular schedule (thanks autism+adhd). But I’m back now, and with both a mutual aid request and a sale on my website!!

I’ve been needing a chair for a long time, and have been constantly gaslighting myself about whether my pain is real enough or bad enough, and even while writing this caption, im fighting the urge to delete it all and not post this, but here goes:

I really need a wheelchair. Both for regular use because my pain has been steadily increasing along with the weakness in my legs, but also I can’t use my crutches while shopping or going to a cafe — this means on long grocery trips, I’m carrying heavy items for a long period of time with no support for my body.

I’m looking at the karman lt-980 wheelchair model. It’s around $350 but it seems like a perfect fit for me, for now. I hope to get some cushions to make it more comfortable, and something to put on the handles so strangers don’t touch me. Ultimately I’m hoping for around $400.

Please please share to your stories, you can screenshot and repost as a post, send to people who can boost, or send a few dollars my way. I really really appreciate all of your support!!!

The amazing @howdyitsjunebug made the two first slides (the purple ones) because it’s the sweetest friend!!!! 💜

ID1: purple background with all sorts of shapes like pink curls, yellow lightning bolts, orange dots, and blue crosses. Text at the top in black on white background says “help a queer crip get a chair!” Below is a digital drawing of the karman lt-980 wheelchair. Below the chair is text that says “v*nmo/c*shapp/p*ypal: @/$stonerzines, put “karman” in the description”

ID2: same background as slide two. Entirely black text in a white box. It reads “I’ve been putting off getting a wheelchair for too long now, and I’m at a point where I’m in pain many days even with my crutches. There are some days where I basically drag my feet along and almost entirely use my crutches, which is bad for my back and my arm joints. Any amount is amazing; if 80 people gave $5, it would be enough! (Or if 40 people gave $10, 20 people gave $20, etc).

I really appreciate any/all funds and my body sure appreciates them too! Thanks for helping a queer crip get along :)”

ID3: same background and text color as slide 1. Text reads “use code: WHEELCHAIR

For 15% off your entire purchase, sitewide!

I'm moving soon and am trying to raise money to cover my wheelchair, so I'm clearing out inventory!”

[side-effect-of-the-meds]

Hey! There's this hc that's been on my mind for a while now but it's a bit dark so I've kinda been scared to ask people about it because IDK how it'd go down.... Okay, it's AFTG, and: What if after Aaron's trial with the whole Thanksgiving thingy they propose Aaron should be on mood altering drugs? What would happen? What would people do?? Also I know there are some fanpeople that don't like how Andrew's medication was represented in the books so I completely understand if you'd rather not reply

I’m sorry this took so long and I’m sorry for my recent inactivity. I’m still not ready to come back from my surprise hiatus but here’s this. It’s largely unedited so please forgive my bullshit. Thanks so much for the ask, love <3

“Aaron Minyard was oft-referred to as "the normal one" of the two, though that was usually followed by a debate over whether or not he could be sane when he shared genes with Andrew.”

Anyone with half a brain knows that Aaron doesn’t need the drugs. Hell, anyone with half a brain would have known better than to put a minor on something so strong but Andrew was on them for like 4 yrs + Exy is a thing so obviously no one in this universe has a single functioning brain cell. Another thing to be considered is that Aaron is a rehabilitated drug addict. He’s been sober (or as close to sober as he’s going to get) since he was 16. In the real world, I seriously doubt they’d put him on anti-psychotics, especially considering his past. But this is The Foxhole Court and I’m invoking suspension of disbelief. 

Screams reverberated through Aaron’s head. There weren’t many words Aaron could discern amid the broken sobs and dry heaving. The overwhelming stench of vomit hit his nostrils. Pain shot through his left arm. It was likely dislocated from ramming it into the door at an odd angle. Staggering to his feet, Aaron saw himself in the mirror. Dark circles rimmed his bloodshot eyes. A cruel smile slowly curled the lips of his reflection. Andrew. Swinging a punch at him with his good hand, the mirror shattered. Shards of glass embedded themselves into his fist. Blood ran in rivers down his arms. 

His surroundings distorted, exchanging the soft glow of yellow bulbs for the harsh glow of fluorescents. The blood was gone along with the mirror shards. In their place was a motley of scars. None of them seemed too severe. The acrid smell of smoke clung to the air and mixed with the alcohol and vomit, making Aaron’s stomach roil. The sound of someone retching caught Aaron’s attention. Whirling around, Aaron felt his heart stutter. Matt lay twitching on the floor in a pool of his own spew.

“That’s what you looked like,” Andrew said from beside Aaron. “Pathetic.” The word echoed through Aaron’s head. 

“Aaron?” Nicky said, laying a hand on his shoulder. Aaron jerked away from him as though he’d been burned. Nicky’s face crumpled. Aaron’s gaze darted around the room.Taking stock of his surroundings helped ground him. Overstuffed chairs lined one of the walls. Three sofas boxed off the corner they were sat in. Orange fox prints decorated the white walls, a name, number, and photograph at the center of each. Aaron was back at the Foxhole Court. 

“I told you not to touch him.” Andrew’s voice froze the blood in Aaron’s veins. Stalking forward from the corner he’d been standing in, he moved to stand in front of Aaron. Cold brown eyes identical to Aaron’s own now held his gaze. Aaron wanted to look away but, as always, there was something about his brother’s eyes that never failed to command his attention. 

“How’s he going to play if he’s medicated?” Kevin asked. Aaron felt his heart sink. After spending two years with him, Aaron should have known better than to expect Kevin to care about anything other than Exy but he couldn’t help it. Just as he’d begun to think that the last few months had meant something, Kevin squashed the tiny bud of hope that had blossomed in Aaron’s heart.  

“How are you going to play if I break your other arm?” Andrew snarled. Aaron watched the color drain from Kevin’s face. A part of him wanted to smirk in Kevin’s face. It served the asshole right. All Kevin ever thought about was Exy. Exy and himself. Half of the things the foxes had been through could have been avoided had it not been for Kevin. They wouldn’t have suffered the graffiti attacks nor would they have been constantly dogged by the media. They sure as shit wouldn’t have had Neil and the mafia to contend with had Kevin not been such a selfish asshole, insisting on dragging that good-for-nothing junkie out of the middle of bumfuck Arizona. 

A larger part of Aaron wanted to cradle Kevin in his arms and protect him from Andrew’s wrath. Had Kevin not run, Aaron would never have had the chance to feel the press of Kevin’s vodka drenched lips on his. He definitely wouldn’t have had the chance to hear the soft keening moans that fell from Kevin’s lips when Aaron fucked into him. Worst of all, there would be no soft smiles or lazy kisses before Kevin drifted off to sleep.  

“Andrew,” Neil’s voice was uncharacteristically gentle. Well, not really. Neil’s voice was always gentle when he spoke to Andrew. Gentle and tender and full of love. Aaron couldn’t help but notice the way his brother’s brow softened and his shoulders drooped. Fuck you, Neil Josten. 

The door down the hall slammed shut. The sound of Coach Wymack’s footsteps echoed in the silence. Taking a moment to glance around the assemblage, Wymack read the room and decided it was best not to say anything. Instead, he held out a plastic bag. Aaron’s hand shook as he accepted it. A paper bag resided within the first. Extracting it, Aaron read the label. He’d seen the label a thousand times before but, up until today, it had always borne his brother’s name. 

Pills rattled ominously inside. Sweat slicked Aaron’s palms. Upending the second bag, the sight of the orange bottle jarred Aaron to his core. Andrew took the bottle from Aaron’s lap and squatted in front of him. 

“Two pills in the morning after breakfast,” he said. 

“And two again at 4,” Aaron finished. Andrew pried Aaron’s hand open before unscrewing the cap. Tipping two pills into Aaron’s palm, Andrew lay a hand on the back of his neck. Aaron knew his brother struggled to express his emotions but this was one gesture Aaron had learnt to recognize. It was a gesture of comfort meant to offer support. Staring into his brother’s eyes, Aaron forced himself to bring the pills to his lips. He swallowed them dry, painfully aware of every inch of their passage down his throat. 

Anyone watching knew that Aaron’s descent into madness was swift. Aaron himself didn’t know that, though. To him, time seemed to slow. Staring down at his hands, Aaron flexed his fingers. Were those his fingers? Maybe. Maybe not. Aaron opened his mouth and felt the skin around it stretch. Laughter bubbled out of him at the odd sensation. 

“Aaron?” Nicky asked. Aaron turned his gaze to his cousin and a smile split his face. Once again, the odd sensation of his skin drawing taut left him in a fit of giggles.

“It hurts,” Aaron said. 

“What hurts?” Kevin demanded. 

“Looking at your face,” Aaron replied. Had the words passed anyone else’s lips, Kevin’s anger might have flared to life. Instead, any remaining signs of life seemed to drain from him. Now it really did hurt.

Nicky had always told Aaron that if you looked at something over and over again, you would eventually get it. Perhaps it was because seeing the reward would motivate a person to work towards their goal, but no matter how much Aaron looked at Kevin nor how hard he worked, Aaron knew Kevin would never truly be his. Why he kept tormenting himself by staring at him, Aaron didn’t know. Maybe he was just as self-destructive as Andrew. 

Sadness welled up in Aaron’s chest. A bone deep yearning had settled into him long ago but he suddenly felt the full intensity of- 

“Stickball!” Aaron cried as Neil wheeled the racquet cart out. Rocketing out of his seat, Aaron caught his brother’s arm and yanked it hard. “Andy, come play stickball with me!” 

“Play what?” Kevin squawked.

“Who?” Andrew choked at the same time. 

“Stickball, Andy,” Neil said. A smile curled the edges of his lips. Kevin opened his mouth to say something but Aaron didn’t stick around to hear. Instead, he followed after Neil chanting ‘Stick! Ball! Stick! Ball!’, dragging Andrew along behind him. 

So that gives you a general idea of Aaron’s madness.

Unlike Andrew, Aaron doesn’t really fight his meds. Where Andrew was terrified of not being able to properly watch out for his family, Aaron finds himself freed from all his anxieties. As such, he’s quite content with drifting through his life. I’ve always hc’d the twins as ADHD but are undiagnosed so it’s just a more intense version of how he normally is.

In the last two years, Aaron’s managed to make quite a few friends so they do their best to support him. Since he can’t focus very well and is no longer burdened by his anxieties, I feel like he also kinda relaxes around them??? Like he’s not as awkward. Very easy, breezy, joking around all the time. They really enjoy how much he’s opened up but they care a lot about him and are scared because they don’t know how to help him with class. What ends up happening is Katelyn is an absolute sweetheart. She convinces all of their friends to sit at the front of the room to record the lectures and upload them to a drive along with any extra notes that’ll help Aaron.

All the Foxes have to go to tutoring but Aaron’s tutor gave up the second he started his meds. After getting special permission from Wymack, they cut that time out and changed up the practice schedules a bit so Aaron could get out early and head back to Fox Tower. Once he’s made it through withdrawal, Katelyn will sit him down and help him work through his assignments. She’s a godsend. 

Aaron is usually off his meds on weekends. He usually goes out to Columbia with the Monsters. He still dances with Nicky and has his fair share of fun. They go to the mall pretty often bc there’s a carousel with spinning tea cups. The twins have spent an entire afternoon riding the spinning tea cups, competing to see who hurls first. Aaron almost always wins. Andrew will take him out late Saturday nights and speed down closed sections of highways or do donuts in parking lots because they're both dumbasses with death wishes. 

One weekend a month, Aaron remains at Fox Tower with Katelyn for spa day where they wax poetic about their respective crushes. Kate’s got a bit of a thing for a boy on the lacrosse team. Aaron screams bc he hates the guy. One time, at a party, the dude was talking to Kevin, shit talking both Kayleigh and Exy, completely unaware of exactly who he was talking to. Kevin ended up with a blackeye but the lacrosse kid couldn’t play for nearly two months. 

Speaking of Kevin, he’s only thing that ever seems to hold any of Aaron’s attention. He’s just so… pretty. If Exy is Neil’s shiny object, then Kevin is Aaron’s. Since Aaron makes even less of an effort to pay attention than Andrew did, there's times when he straight up can’t play. It infuriates Kevin to the point where Aaron gets pulled off the court. At first he doesn’t mind because it means that he can sit back and watch Kevin without any fear of getting caught. However, ever since he got put on his meds, Kevin hasn’t touched him. Not even in a non-sexual way. Before, there were casual touches: a hand on the small of Aaron’s back, shoulders pressed together as they squished into a booth, ankles hooked beneath the table. Now? There’s nothing. Kevin leaves a conspicuous space between himself and Aaron and it’s the only thing Aaron can feel anymore. 

So he starts paying attention on the court. Whenever they have a scrimmage, Aaron makes sure that he’s marking Kevin. Everytime Kevin crashes into him, Aaron’s consciousness slams back into his body. The heat of Kevin’s skin on his, their limbs tangled together, their ragged breaths intermingling, their helmets the only thing keeping their mouths from colliding together. Those little encounters are the only times when Aaron finally feels like himself. Those little encounters only last a few seconds and leave Aaron craving more, more, more. 

Aaron noticed that medicated Andrew was always brushing up against Neil but he’d never really thought much of it. Now he understood. Andrew had craved Neil just as Aaron craved Kevin. 

Speaking of Neil, he and Aaron get along well? I feel like Aaron is just as much of a smart mouth as Neil so the two of them just go around roasting the shit out of everyone. The drugs don’t change Aaron’s opinion of Neil but he begins to understand why Andrew broke their deal. Realizing that Neil didn’t steal his brother from him, Aaron starts to see the appeal in him. He’s stupid and funny and actually kind of pretty. Not as pretty as Kevin but pretty nonetheless. On weekends in Columbia, Aaron begins to notice all the things Neil does for his brother. Neil wakes up early in the morning to make breakfast and spends hours in the kitchen baking. He always picks up an extra pint of ice cream at the store and takes photos of stray cats to send Andrew. One time, Aaron couldn’t sleep and went to the kitchen for some water. His heart almost stopped when he heard Andrew’s rumbling laughter. Sneaking a peek around the corner, his heart really did stutter. Neil was standing on Andrew’s feet as he waltzed around the kitchen to the soft strains of music flowing from the radio. After aaron’s heart restarted, he hurried away because OH MY GOD ANDREW WAS LAUGHING AND DANCING AND HOLDING NEIL SO TENDERLY AND OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD

Okay so maybe Neil did sic the mafia on them but he also makes Andrew happy so that evens it out right? It’s v slow but Aaron is very slowly learning to accept Neil.

Slipping back to his room, Aaron placed a hand to his chest, feeling his heart racing a mile a minute. Off his meds, Aaron found it hard to stem the surge of jealousy threatening to overwhelm him. He was glad Andrew had found someone who loved him the way he deserved to be but didn’t Aaron deserve love too? 

A soft knock sounded behind him. Aaron nearly leapt out of his skin at the sound. Oh, fuck. What it was Andrew? What if he’d seen him? With shaking hands, Aaron opened the door. For the second time that night, Aaron’s heart stopped. 

Vodka stained lips crashed against his. Aaron’s mouth opened on impact and he felt the warm slide of Kevin’s tongue on his. A moan tore from Kevin, reverberating down Aaron’s thought. It was a shot right to his core. Suddenly, Aaron’s clothes felt too tight, his body too warm. Grabbing the collar of Kevin’s shirt, Aaron hauled him into the room. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Aaron panted as he tore himself away from Kevin.

“Missed you,” Kevin slurred as he leaned back in. Aaron shoved him away, sending Kevin crashing into the wall. The look of anguish that washed over Kevin’s features threatened to tear Aaron’s heart out of his chest. 

“You haven’t come near me in months,” Aaron hissed. “Why now?” Kevin opened his mouth but nothing came out. He tried two more times before dropping his gaze. 

“Because I got scared.” Wrapping his arms around himself, Kevin retreated into his shoulders. “No one’s ever made me feel like this before. All day, all night, you’re all I ever think about.”

“You don’t think about me on the court,” Aaron sneered.

“And you don’t watch me from the sidelines.” Aaron felt the blood rush to his face. It had been years since Aaron had prayed but now he begged God to bend the shadows of his room to hide the burning of his ears. “Exy was all I’ve ever had. Back then, I played to stay alive but now… now I play because I know you can’t take your eyes off me when I do.” Kevin reached out slowly, giving Aaron time to move away. Relief flooded his face when Aaron didn’t flinch. As Kevin’s hand cupped his face, Aaron leaned into the touch. Pulling their bodies flush against one another, Kevin bent down enough to rest his forehead against Aaron’s. “I don’t want Exy to be the only thing I love anymore.”

“Then pick something,” Aaron whispered. He could feel his heart slamming against his ribcage as though it was trying to escape. He knew what was coming but nothing prepared him for actually hearing it.  

“ I pick you,” Kevin replied. Their lips collided once more and Aaron let Kevin steer them to the bed. Collapsing onto it in a tangle of limbs, Aaron felt like himself for the first time in months.  

[daxieoclock]

ok shay you dont understand i was literally scrambling through our messages on discord to find a dissidia link and now i cant pick between the kairi reunion with sora and the namixi bed sharing scene so you gotta pick for me

jdhfbghjgb Enu you absolute sweetheart thank you for the ask

they’re both kinda short scenes though sooooo por que no los dos djhfgbjh

Kairi reunion scene is in chapter 10 and the Namixi scene is in chapter 14

She'd only been there twice before, both times after Xehanort's defeat, but Kairi instantly recognized Terra, Aqua and Ventus's home: the quintuple towers and golden chains of the Land of Departure.

I don’t remember if I ever articulated what both of those times were in my head, but it’s a HC that just felt right hehe.

And there, sitting on the bottom steps leading up to the front door, was Sora.

He hopped up as soon as he saw her, that stupid grin all over his face, and then Kairi's eyes blurred over and her feet pounding against the stone courtyard.

"It's so good–" he said, and she cut him off by punching him as hard as she possibly could in the shoulder. "OW!"

Kairi’s anger, frustration and just general emotion is something I had a lot of fun exploring in DKH, and something I definitely want to do more of if I ever return to KH writing (still undecided on that). As much as I love the comedy beat of the pissed-off reunion, it’s an honest feeling I think, to be both overjoyed and infuriated by someone at the same time. And it definitely fits my interpretation of where Kairi – who has been incessantly damseled, left behind and sacrificed-for – is at this moment in her arc. Furious and bitter and just wanting to drag her dumbass bffs/bfs to safety whether they like it or not.

"It's so good–" he said, and she cut him off by punching him as hard as she possibly could in the shoulder. "OW!"

"You absolute, goddamn, stupid idiot!" Kairi shrieked. "Do you have any idea how worried I was? How worried Riku was?"

For whatever reason this makes me think of the very beginning of the story, with Riku lying awake thinking of Sora. Like...yeah. Yeah he was. And on that note, as much as I missed Sora’s presence in the story, I absolutely loved the chance to expand on Riku and Kairi’s friendship/relationship (it’s complicated; when is it ever not?) without him there. I wanted to emphasize both how much they care about each other, and how much Sora’s absence is felt nearly constantly.

"Probably," Sora said, sheepish, massaging his shoulder.

"We had to try and explain to your parents how you....you vanished into thin air, but how it's actually completely okay because you did it to save my life!"

I don’t know that I’ll ever focus too much on any of the KH characters’ biological families, but I think the Destiny trio are the closest to actually Having Any Sort Of Bond with their parents. We’ve got a vague idea of Kairi’s home life – adopted daughter of the mayor, and I’ve extrapolated her dad is kind of absent – but none of Riku’s and only the fact that Sora has a mom. But the idea of Kairi and Riku returning to the island alone, having to break the news to Sora’s parents, just stuck in my head when I was writing this.

She didn't know who embraced who first. But she was in his arms then, and he was in hers, and she squeezed him so close, so goddamn tightly.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Just hold me," she said. "Just shut up and hold me."

I think this is just a sweet moment tbh djhfgbj.

"Your hair looks longer," Kairi said, finally. They were sitting on the steps together. Her eyes had cleared, but she wasn't ready to leave this moment. "And you're missing a button on your jacket."

"Oh." Sora ran a hand through his hair in that absentminded way that he did. He laughed. "I hadn't noticed."

Liar. She knew him well enough to know when he was putting on a front, and he definitely was now. But she wasn't much better, she had refused to point out the bags under his eyes, the greyish pallor of his tan skin, the way his blue eyes seemed darker than she remembered. She couldn't speak those details, as if silence would make them go away, as if she could will away the scuff from his shoes and the dullness from the little metal crown that hung around his neck. He reminded her of how Aqua had looked after they'd rescued her, so relieved but yet so exhausted. It was the impact of that much time spent alone, that much time spent wandering, spent lost and far away from the ones you love. Kairi's grip on Sora's hand tightened.

I will never forgive Nomura’s cowardice to not show the physical, kinda traumatizing toll that years of isolation in the RoD took on Aqua. 0.8 delved into it slightly, but only in the most surface-level way. And judging by what we’ve seen from Re:Mind and MoM, the same sort of surface-level emotion is going to be applied to Sora’s ‘death’ as well. He’s almost definitely going to come out of a YEAR of complete isolation being just as chipper and bright-eyed as he’s always been, and that is something I wanted to rectify here.

I love the KH cast and I love seeing them challenged, and love watching them grow. There’s not quite enough Sora in DKH to grasp the full extent of how he’s changed after his ‘death,’ but I’d like to think we do see that he HAS changed. It’s something I touched on more directly during Riku’s reunion with Sora, but it’s present here as well.

"So, who's your friend?" He motioned with his head towards the Spirit-Namine, who sat patiently on her haunches.

"Sora, it's me," she said with a little laugh. "It's Namine."

"Oh." Sora stared at the Spirit-Namine for a moment, the gears straining in his head, and then he looked over his shoulder up the stairs, then back at her with a confused expression on his face. "Wait, weren't you sleeping inside? Why are you here and a cat? How are you here and a cat?"

But of course, even after that sort of trauma, Sora is still Sora. He’s still a goober and a softie, and I didn’t want to abandon those traits for the sake of angst.

Sora had never been very comfortable with silence, she noticed him starting to shift and adjust next to her.

ADHD Sora rights.

Kairi kept catching herself holding her breath, waiting for him to vanish or the floor to give way or her alarm to wake her up. Waiting for something to drag him away again.

He looked over his shoulder at her and smiled. "I'm not going anywhere, you know," he said.

Kairi spluttered. "What...who...shut up!" She stared at the ground, cheeks flushed, unable to acknowledge out loud that he'd read her so well.

I haven’t decided if Sora’s surprising emotional perceptiveness is a new aspect of his character or something he’s always had that hasn’t been highlighted well, but it’s definitely an interpretation of him I enjoy. Like, yeah, he’s impulsive and inattentive and kind of rude on occasion, but he’s also showed some moments of being able to read people with shocking accuracy. I think that’s a skill some Keyblade wielders have, a sort of magical hyper-empathy, and Sora definitely has it in spades without even trying.

And briefly before we go into Namixi (and speaking OF Namixi)

Xion glanced at Sora and Kairi from the middle chair and threw up a peace sign. "Hey, what's up?" Her outfit had also changed a lot since Kairi saw her last, she had on a pair of loose black cargo shorts and a pullover hoodie, her black hair swept to one side and tucked behind her right ear. Honestly, she looked a lot happier, a lot freer.

Butch Xion is absolutely the hill I will die on this gal is 100% loves girls and presenting in nonconforming ways.

Namine, laying against Xion, her eyes closed and her expression peaceful.

Xion looked down at Namine as she noticed Kairi's stare. "Oh, yeah, I'm uh...keeping her safe? Cause she can't move when doing her spell, and uh, probably more comfortable than laying on this ground or something right?" She forced a laugh. "Yeah."

Namine, who absolutely has ulterior motives: “I’m going to be unconscious while using this spell and I’d rather not wake up sore, so maybe you could hold me while I’m using it? I’d make me feel safer too.”

Xion, who is gay as shit and forgot about the fact this castle has beds in it: “Yes absolutely I will totally hold you for as long as you need Namine wow yes that sounds great I’m on board heck yeah.”

*************

And with that introduction let’s hop right into the dedicated Namixi scene shall we.

Namine heard her door open, then close. She didn't move, just kept staring straight ahead, lying on her side in the bed, her heart beating staccato on the inside of her chest. A quiet bump of collision in the dark.

"Ow!" Xion muttered. "Stupid bed."

No good confession scene is complete with at least a couple comedy beats.

Her eyes probably had to adjust to the dark still, which Namine was thankful for, considering the fact she was probably blushing up a storm at the moment. "Are you okay?" She sounded so concerned, oh light.

Gentlebutch Xion strikes again. I refuse to see her as anything but very polite towards pretty gals (and Namine is very pretty gal in her humble opinion).

"I'm fine," Namine said, quickly. "I just...." She reached out to take Xion's hand, but hesitated, and just let her own fall back onto the mattress. "Wanted to see you, I guess."

"Oh," Xion said. Relief. Namine started when she felt Xion's fingers brushing against her hand. "Shit, sorry, sorry."

"No, no." Namine laughed, and took Xion's hand. "Thank you. This is really nice."

The eternal sapphic dance of being terrified of overstepping and desperate to express your affection at the same time. Also I have said it before and I will say it again: The Gay Gals Love Hands. Idk what it is but sapphic attraction is like 75% hand-holding it’s ridiculous.

Xion opened her eyes again, those gorgeous purple eyes.

Changing characters’ eye color is sort of a running theme in my fics I suppose, though it doesn’t ALWAYS come up. Xion’s purple eyes is something I saw once and got stuck in my brain forever. I have no idea who came up with it or why it’s something that apparently a decent chunk of Xion fans hc for her, but it sure is what we’ve decided on haha.

Three words. That's it. So easy, just three words. Just say it. Say it. "When you found out Sora was here, and decided to go after him." Coward.

Namine, like most of the female cast of KH, has basically no outwards emotion and very little development. For whatever reason, I’ve fixated on an interpretation of her as someone who expresses her emotions in unconventional ways, spends a lot of time overthinking things, protects herself by exaggerating her personality around others while also being terrified of hurting people the way she was forced to hurt Sora. It’s sort of funny to see a very similar personality come up around my interpretations of Haru Okumura in Deja Vu, but Namine definitely expresses her post-trauma identity a lot softer, less formal but still so very careful.

Anyway that’s a lot of words to say that she self-loathes and picks her words incredibly carefully and that contrasts really interestingly with the more impulsive, emotion-driven Xion. They’re a good fit for each other C:

"You can get under the covers too, if you like."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable."

Please stop being a gentlewoman and take the hint. "I want you to," Namine said. Was that too firm? Too bossy?

"Oh!" Xion smiled, and threw the comforter over herself in an instant. Guess it was fine.

More of that aforementioned dynamic.

"This is very good. I'm happy."

"I'm glad," Xion said. "I...like making you happy."

Namine had to inhale deeply at that. It wasn't easy to confess when the girl kept taking her breath away.

I really like the idea in general that it takes so long for Namine to tell Xion how she feels because Xion just keeps doing really sweet things or being kind of romantic but not really making the space for that confession, and Namine just gets flustered and puts it off.

Three words. Just three. Just say them. Namine took a deep breath. "I, uh. I..." She felt a sob welling up in her throat. Light, why was this so difficult, why couldn't she just tell Xion–

Her lips were on hers. Namine couldn't breathe, could barely think for the screaming of her heart in her ears. Xion broke the kiss, looking so very embarrassed. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean–"

Namine reached up and pressed a finger to Xion's lips, cutting her off before she could apologize any more. "Um," she said, "kiss me again?"

And Xion nodded, and Namine let her finger fall, let Xion lean in and kiss her again. And she squeezed her hand so tightly and kissed her back.

So not really a confession but Xion DID get the hint. Once more: Xion’s impulsiveness makes things both very difficult and much easier for Namine. And I think I like the fact that she ends up deciding to just go along with that impulsiveness, just let go of her plan and kiss the gal she’s been pining for, and stop beating herself up about the words she can’t say yet. It’s sweet hehe.

[itsshortfurball20]

Percy Jackson, The Avenger

Summary: Percy has an encounter with Nick Fury. A year later, he’s being called on to help protect the world… again. He’s not alone in this Avengers Initiative. A genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist; a super soldier; a green scientist; a Norse god; and two secret agents. What could go wrong?

1 2 3 4 

This chapter has 2,640 words

5 – The Continuum of Villains in Glass Prisons

It took them an hour to get back to the Helicarrier. An hour of Percy nervously glancing up at the ceiling. An hour of violently gripping the nearest surface every time they hit turbulence. An hour of wondering whether Zeus would strike the plane down.

Steve had sat by Percy and tried to make small talk. Percy gave short, quick answers, not in the mood to chit-chat. Steve left after a while, giving Percy some space. When the plane landed, Percy was the first one off. Being on the Helicarrier wasn’t the same as the ground, but Percy could feel the ocean below them, giving him a much-needed boost.

The others followed after Percy. Several agents had been waiting for their arrival, taking Loki and escorting him to presumably his cell. Percy watched him go, the unsettling feeling from his stomach still not gone.

Everyone made their way inside. They ended back up in the main area, where Dr. Banner was waiting, pacing back and forth. As soon as the group entered, Banner stopped his pacing. They all took places around the table. Romanoff managed to pull up a security feed of the holding cell that Loki was in for them to watch.

Percy found himself staring at Loki through a glass prison cell. The guards had taken off the cuffs, letting him wander around the small cell freely. Percy stared at the god, trying to figure out what his ulterior motive for coming here was. No man—or god, for that matter—would let themselves be captured without a plan of sorts.

Director Fury walked on screen, just as intimidating as he had been when Percy first met him. He didn’t spare Loki a glance until he was standing next to the control panel of the cell. “In case it's unclear,” his voice boomed. “You try to escape, you so much as scratch that glass—” Fury pressed one of the buttons on the panel. Percy figured that the button must have opened a hatch under the cage as the sound of gushing wind became almost deafening. Loki tried his best to peer down the glass without pressing himself to the window. “—Thirty thousand feet, straight down in a steel trap. You get how that works?”

Fury pressed the button again, and the hatch closed. With a pointed gesture at Loki, he said “Ant,” before gesturing to the panel. “Boot.”

Loki smirked. “It’s an impressive cage. Not built, I think, for me.”

“Built for something a lot stronger than you.”

“Oh, I’ve heard.” Loki turned to look into the camera. Around the table, the others took subtle glances at Banner, who was watching Loki intently, trying to ignore the others. “The mindless beast makes play he's still a man. How desperate are you that you call upon such lost creatures to defend you?

“How desperate am I? You threaten my world with war. You steal a force you can't hope to control. You talk about peace and you kill cause it's fun. You have made me very desperate.” Fury was walking closer and closer to Loki’s cage, illustrating each point with another step. “You might not be glad that you did.”

“Ooh. It burns you to come so close.” Loki nearly laughed. “To have the Tesseract, to have power, unlimited power. And for what? A warm light for all mankind to share, and then to be reminded what real power is.”

Fury stared at Loki, not backing down from the god. After a beat, he turned away, hiding a small smile. “Well, you let me know if ‘Real Power’ wants a magazine or something.”

The director left, leaving Loki by himself. With a smirk, Loki cast the camera another glance, before the monitor went dark. Everyone around the table was silent. Percy sat there, mulling over Loki’s words. The speech didn’t sound like what someone who had been captured would sound like. Loki sounded relaxed, confident. Even though he was the one in the cage, Loki sounded like the one with the upper hand.

Across from Percy, Steve sat in silence. Just to his left, Thor stood, looking torn. Percy remembered that Thor and Loki were brothers. Until this moment, the son of Poseidon realized that the Greek gods might not be the only immortal dysfunctional family out there.

Dr. Banner broke the silence first. “He really grows on you, doesn't he?”

“Loki's gonna drag this out,” Steve noted. The super soldier lifted his eyes to the blond god. “So, Thor, what's his play?”

“He has an army called the Chitauri. They're not of Asgard or any world known.” Thor uncrossed his arms and wandered closer to the table. “He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the earth. In return, I suspect, for the Tesseract.”

“An army? From outer space?” Steve repeated, tone sort of disbelieving.

Percy swiveled his chair towards the Captain. “Trust me on this, Cap. Space armies? Not the weirdest thing.”

“So he's building another portal.” Banner pieced together, ignoring Percy and Cap’s small conversation. “That's what he needs Erik Selvig for.”

Thor frowned. “Selvig?”

“He's an astrophysicist.” Banner explained to the god.

“He's a friend.”

“Loki has him under some kind of spell, along with one of ours,” Natasha spoke up for the first time. Percy gave a small jump, having forgotten that she was in the room with them. The demigod assumed that was just part of her nature from being a spy—don’t be noticed, blend into the background.

A troubling thought that had plagued Percy earlier popped back into his head. “Something’s up with Loki. Did anyone else notice how he actually sat and watched us like we something on Prime TV before letting us take him? Loki’s planning something.”

”I don't think we should be focusing on Loki.” Banner waved Percy’s concern off. “That guy's brain is a bag full of cats, you could smell crazy on him.”

Thor turned on Banner. “Have care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard, and he's my brother.”

“He killed eighty people in two days,” Natasha informed him.

“He's adopted.”

Percy chuckled. Dysfunctional family all right. He stood up from his chair, walking closer to Thor. “Hey man, I get it. My cousin once told me families are messy. Immortal families are eternally messy.” Percy shrugged his shoulders. “The best thing to do is just remind yourselves that you’re related, for better or worse.” Thor’s shoulders slumped as Percy’s words moved over him. “He also said to try and keep the killing to a low, but…”

“Thank you, Perseus,” Thor told him. “I’m not sure things with Loki will go over smoothly, but I will keep your words in mind.”

Percy gave him a nod. Some of the uneasy air that had been between them seemed to melt away.

Banner looked deep in thought. “I think it’s about the mechanics.” He spoke up.  “Iridium. What do they need the iridium for?”

“It’s a stabilizing agent.”

Stark and Coulson walked into the room. Tony had answered Banner’s question before turning back to Coulson and finishing whatever conversation they had been having before walking into the room. When he finished, he turned back to them. “Means the portal won’t collapse on itself like it did at SHIELD” Tony walked by Thor and gave him a pat on the back. “No hard feelings, Point Break. You’ve got a mean swing.

“Also,” he switched back to Banner’s question. “it means the portal can open as wide, and stay open as long, as Loki wants.”

“Like to bring in a giant army from space,” Percy realized. He turned to Stark before he realized that the man had turned his attention to the agents that were milling around. Percy wondered if the man had ADHD. Stark reminded Percy of some of the kids at Camp Half-Blood, jumping from one conversation topic to the next without any logical solution behind it.

“Uh, raise the mid-mast, ship the top sails.” He commanded. “That man is playing GALAGA. Thought we wouldn’t notice, but we did.” Tony then proceeded to cover one of his eyes and look at the large monitors. “How does Fury even see these?”

“He turns.” Agent Hill answered.

“Sounds exhausting.” Tony turned back to Banner, but not before subtly placing something on the back of the monitor. Percy furrowed his brow as Stark continued talking. “The rest of the raw materials, Agent Barton can get on his hands pretty easily. Only major component he still needs is a power source. A high energy density, something to kick start the cube.”

“When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?”

“Last night. The packet, Selvig’s notes, the Extraction Theory papers. Am I the only one who did the reading?”

“Pretty sure you’re the only one who got that,” Percy spoke up. “Unless I missed that in my skim through.”

Steve pipped up with a question. “Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?”

“He’s got to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier.”

“The what now?” Percy asked, confused by what had just come out of the Doctor’s mouth. Only Tony seemed to understand his words because the two quickly launched into a conversation that Percy had trouble following.

“Finally, someone who speaks English,” Tony said.

Steve frowned. “Is that what just happened?”

“I don’t know, Cap.” Percy shrugged his shoulders. “Didn’t sound like it.”

Tony and Bruce shook hands. Percy could see what looked like mutual respect for each other as they introduced themselves to one another. “It’s good to meet you, Dr. Banner. Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled.” Tony paused for a second. “And I’m a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into a huge green rage monster.”

Banner looked away. “Thanks,” he muttered.

“Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube,” Fury announced to Stark. “I was hoping you might join him.”

“Let’s start with that stick of his,” Steve suggested. “It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a HYDRA weapon.”

Percy frowned. “Hydras don’t need weapons.”

Everyone around the table seemed to look over at Percy. The son of Poseidon noticed the shocked and questioning looks from mainly everyone except from Agent Hill and Director Fury, the latter of who looked over at Percy. “Not Hydra as in the monster. HYDRA as in the secret organization that existed during World War Two. I’m not sure this is like them, but it is powered by the cube. And I’d like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys.”

“Monkeys?” Thor asked. “I do not understand.”

“I do! I understood that reference.” Percy stifled a laugh at the proud looking Captain who finally wasn’t the clueless one on a pop culture reference.

Tony looked to Banner, ignoring Steve. “Shall we play, doctor?”

“Let’s play some.”

Tony and Bruce walked out, heading towards the lab. Percy headed off to his room, ready to make a call to Annabeth.

He made sure to close the door behind him before heading into his small bathroom. Percy stared at the shower, trying to figure out how to turn it on. Instead of a knob, there was a couple of buttons and a pad. Percy started pushing the buttons. It took him a couple tries before he got the water going. Taking the water, he bent it to the bathroom lights just right to get a small rainbow.

Percy tossed a drachma into the rainbow-colored water. “O Fleecy, do me a solid. Show me Annabeth Chase, Upper East Side, Manhattan.”

The rainbow started to shimmer, and the familiar sight of Percy’s living room came into focus. He saw Annabeth curled up on the couch, fast asleep. There was a stack of papers on the coffee table in front of her. Next to the stack of papers was a cup of coffee, half empty.

Percy paused. The last time that Annabeth had drunk coffee was when they were studying for their college finals. Prior to contrary belief, coffee actually made them better focused rather than bouncing off the walls. So when Annabeth was studying hard for something, she always had a little bit of coffee to help keep her on track. He tried to peer closer at the stack of papers. The IM, while great for getting general pictures across, was not good enough to help Percy see the words on the paper, that were just a small blur.

On the couch, Annabeth stirred. One of her eyes blinked open lazily. “Percy?” She asked, running her eyes as she sat up.

Percy smiled. “Hey, Wise girl.”

“Percy,” she sat up fully. “It’s like midnight.”

Percy glanced over at the clock that hung on the wall. “It’s two over here. Sorry that I woke you, I just wanted to check in on you.”

“I’m fine. I was just working on something.” She waved her hands dismissably towards the coffee table. “How are things going? Saved the world yet?”

Percy chuckled. “I’m not sure if getting by podex handed to me by a god with a heavy hammer counts.”

“Which god?” Annabeth asked.

“Thor,” Percy told her. “His brother Loki is the one we were going after. He’s in his cell right now while Stark and Banner are tracking down the cube that he stole from SHIELD so he could invade Earth with an army from outer space.” The son of Poseidon paused, replaying his last sentence and realizing how confusing that probably was.

Annabeth seemed to agree, if her furrowed brows were anything to go by. Percy was about to explain more when she asked a question that he didn’t expect.

“Did you say Thor and Loki?”

Percy froze. “Uh, yeah. Why? Do the names mean anything to you?”

Annabeth was visibly more awake than she had been moments before, leaning forward towards Percy. “Thor and Loki are famous Norse gods. If I remember correctly, Thor was the god of thunder while Loki was the god of mischief. I think stories also said that Loki killed an unkillable guy and his punishment was to have snake poison drip on him.”

“How does one kill an unkillable person?”

“Percy—”

“That’s not logical Annabeth.” Percy pointed out. “If the guy’s unkillable, then how can someone kill them?”

“I think the guy was meant to be unkillable. I’m not up to speed on my Norse mythology. I may be smart, but I can’t remember something I read once in a book when I was six.” Annabeth took a deep breath. “Okay, I need you to tell me. Does Loki have any scarring on his face? Any marks whatsoever?”

Percy shook his head. “No. That guy could be a model if he, you know, wasn’t a murderer. But he can do illusions.” Percy added after a second. “Maybe he’s hiding something.” He shrugged. “Not all stories are true though, remember?”

“Yeah.” Annabeth agreed. “I know, just making sure.” She glanced at the clock behind her. “Listen, Percy, I got to get to bed, and so do you. You never know when you’ll get to sleep next.”

Percy didn’t want to go, it felt like they had just started talking, but Percy couldn’t deny his heavy eyelids or calling bed in the next room. “Okay,” he said simply. “I’ll IM you with another update soon. I love you, wise girl.”

“Love you too, seaweed brain.”

He swiped through the Iris-message and shut off the shower. Percy stared at the place Annabeth’s beautiful face had only just been before trudging back into his bedroom and falling into his small bed. Within minutes, he was fast asleep.

6

[cobythinks]

Bad Day

I wanted to write angst. So I done and wrote some Roman Angst. Don’t wanna clog your blog so most of it’s gonna be below the cut!

You can find all my other writing on my MASTERLIST

Summary: Human AU. Roman wakes up and knows it will be a bad day, so what’s the point in even trying? Well, his friends and boyfriend come to tell him.

Warnings: swearing, food mention, self-deprecation, depressing thoughts, mentions of medication. Nothing too explicit, though! And a happy ending! <3

Ships: Logince

Roman groaned, rubbing his eyes tiredly. What? He could have sworn his alarm went off hours ago… He groaned and rolled over, searching for his phone. It had managed to fell off the charger and under the nightstand. He flipped it over and squinted to turn it on. Then he groaned again when he saw what time it was. How had he slept in so late? And why was he too tired to care?

He sat up, rubbing his eyes again. His bed seemed so soft, and he was tired enough that he could just fall right back asleep and sleep for the rest of the day. But he couldn't do that, could he? He was already half an hour late for his first class, and he needed to eat, and get dressed, and shower, and… Roman flopped back down onto his pillow and sighed. Being awake sounded too hard.

He was just drifting off yet again when the phone - still on the floor - started to ring. Roman yelped, nearly falling off the bed in his attempt to pick it up. It was Patton, but just before he answered the phone stopped ringing. Roman scowled when his phone reported that, as usual, his crappily placed room had no signal.

“Fine…” Roman yawned, letting himself tumble onto the floor. “I’m up…” bless Patton’s heart. He had the same class as Roman did today, must have gotten worried. He’d be calling back.

In the meantime, Roman dragged himself to his feet. He might as well get dressed, so he can tell Patton he was at least planning to do something today. Roman peered tiredly into his mirror, then ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t need a shower, it wasn’t that dirty. He yawned again and pulled on the first T-shirt in his drawer, then a pair of jeans from the floor. He nearly forgot to take of his pajama bottoms first, and sighed in annoyance when he realized.

It's not like this is the first time Roman’s had a day like this. It’s been a while, but he knows how it usually ends. He probably won’t go to any classes today - he won’t be able to focus anyway even with his medication. Roman scowled, then rubbed his eyes again. Oh yeah, he should take that. If he took it too late in the day he’d be up all night, and he didn’t need that after a sleep like that.

Though… Roman stared grumpily toward the clock on his wall. Maybe he shouldn’t, today. It was already later than he usually took it, and he wouldn’t need to focus if he didn’t go anywhere. That, and he’d run out of the prescription one day later than he’d been planning, so he’d be sure to get a new one before he did. And it’d be nice to have a day where he didn’t get nauseous from any strong smell...

Roman yawned and ran a hand through his hair, not bothering to comb it flat again. It was settled, then, he’d just have a lazy, medication-free day. He could watch TV or read, or work on a project he’d been planning. Roman smiled, still exhausted, and grabbed his phone before shuffling out to the kitchen.

Patton still hadn’t called back, Roman noticed suddenly. He looked down at the phone in his hand, which now in the kitchen showed a few bars of service. He’d probably call soon. Roman should get something to eat.

Despite the numerous breakfast food choices in Roman’s small kitchen, he only grabbed a container of leftover pasta and pulled off the lid to microwave it. Lazy day meant he didn’t have to cook, right? Besides, this was Patton’s ‘famous’ alfredo. The best alfredo Roman had ever had.

Roman lazily watched the microwave rotate, then frowned at the phone on the counter in front of him. Patton usually called back immediately, right? Especially if he was the one to call. He would always call at least twice.

Or, maybe he’d just given up.

The thought made Roman surprisingly depressed as he pulled the pasta out of the microwave. He sighed sadly and grabbed a fork, but left the phone in the kitchen as he trudged to the couch. Once there, he buried himself in blankets and turned on a Disney movie before starting to eat.

God, he really was pathetic wasn’t he? Roman stared unhappily down at his pasta. He woke up late and had to skip an entire day. Should he just drop out of highschool? Maybe. It’d be simpler to just get a full time job and suffer without his degree.

Roman shook his head and stuffed a bite of alfredo pasta into his mouth. He wasn’t supposed to think like that. They were supposed to have had this figured out in high school. ADHD gave him some depression symptoms, which was why he had his medication. Tomorrow, or maybe later today, he’d know that was ridiculous. He sighed again, feeling the deep melancholy sink into his chest.

Unless he was right, and all of this was for nothing.

“I’m going to his apartment after class,” Patton said to Virgil. Thank goodness they were just working on a project and could talk. “He didn’t answer twice, so I’m just gonna check on him myself.”

“What about your Science class?”

“I have an A,” Patton shrugged unhappily. “And… I haven’t missed any yet, which I was happy about. But Roman’s more important.”

“I’ll come with,” Virgil decided. “I don’t have another class until after lunch anyway.” Patton smiled, nodding.

“Okey dokey! I’m sure he’s okay, probably just sick or something. You know Roman doesn’t go out unless he thinks he’s 100%.”

“Unless he thinks he looks 100%.” Virgil corrected with a smirk. “He’ll come to class with walking pneumonia if he still looks like a disney prince.” Patton giggled.

“Yeah, maybe he’s just having a bad hair day.” he agreed, feeling better. “We’ll just pop in on him quickly and maybe I’ll still make it to science on time.” Virgil nodded and they both turned back to the project, Patton feeling much happier about his friend.

Half an hour later, the two were standing in front of Roman’s door.

“Hey, Roman?” Patton knocked. “You in there, buddy?” No answer. Virgil scowled and pressed his ear against the door.

“Disney.” he reported, then pounded harder on the door. “Roman!” Still no answer.

Worry slammed back into Patton’s mind and he started digging through his backpack, finally locating an extra key. He pulled it out and Virgil frowned.

“Is that a key to his apartment?”

“He gave it to me months ago,” Patton shrugged as he wiped it off. “He said ‘just in case’ but I have no idea what that meant.”

“Hm.” Virgil stepped back as Patton unlocked the door and opened it, stepping inside. What he saw was surprising, not to mention worrying.

“Roman?”

Their friend sat in a pile of blankets next to the couch, positioned like he’d fallen off the couch at some point. He stared at the ceiling, not seeming to notice they were there. Patton glanced at Virgil, who was scowling harder than ever.

“Roman, you okay?”

“Hm?” Roman turned his head to look at them. “Oh… hey guys…”

“What the hell?” Virgil pushed past Patton and reached to grab Roman’s arm. Roman sighed, letting himself be pulled into a sitting position. “Dude, what happened?”

“I-I’m just… uh, having a lazy day,” Roman mumbled. “Y’know…”

Patton looked around, spotting an empty container and fork on the couch. Virgil grabbed the remote and turned off the TV, Roman didn’t say anything, just leaned back and rested his head on the couch, looking up at the ceiling again.

“Roman, are you okay?” Patton sat next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Roman shrugged.

“I’m calling Logan.” Virgil decided, pulling out his phone. Roman protested slightly at the sound of his boyfriends name, but gave up almost immediately. Virgil walked to the kitchen with the phone, and Patton turned to look at Roman.

“Seriously, Ro, what’s going on?”

“I…” Roman’s eyes suddenly filled with tears. “I don’t know.”

Logan pulled out his phone, surprised to see Virgil’s number. He answered immediately, looking around the near-empty bus.

“Virgil? Don’t you have a class now?”

“Ended fifteen minutes ago,” Virgil said quickly. “But listen, I’m calling about Roman.”

“Roman?” Logan smiled fondly. “What about him?”

“I don’t know. He’s acting really weird and lethargic, almost sad, and-”

“Lethargic?” Logan stood up as he approached the stop. Oh no. Of course, the day he was coming to surprise his boyfriend with a visit he was having one of those days. He hadn’t had one for at least a month and a half now.

“Yeah, do you know anything about this?”

“Has he taken his medication?” Logan asked worriedly, pulling his bag up over his shoulder.

“What medication?” Virgil asked. Logan sighed, shaking his head. Of course, his prideful boyfriend hadn’t told them. Even though Logan lived two hours away, he still kept it a secret from his best friends.

“I’m coming.” Logan finally said.

“Wh- you’re two hours away, and-”

“I’m entering his building.” Logan chuckled sadly. “I had a few days off of school and wanted to surprise Roman. I’ll be there in like, sixty seconds. Is he okay?”

“Uh-” Logan heard a few background sounds from the phone. “Shit. He’s kinda… crying. Thank god for Patton, I’m so awkward, I-”

“I’ll be there in a minute.” Logan hung up and sprinted up the stairs, skipping the elevator. He didn’t have time for the elevator. God, Roman better have taken his medication.

The door was still part way open when Logan burst through, eyes skimming around. Patton was holding a sobbing Roman in his arms, surrounded by all of Roman’s blankets and an empty tupperware container. Virgil was standing awkwardly by the kitchen doorway, and seemed incredibly relieved to see Logan enter.

“Roman.” Logan knelt next to his boyfriend and gently touched his shoulder.

“Lo-” Roman didn’t finish speaking before he turned to hug Logan tightly, trying to stop crying. “H-how… why?”

“I was going to surprise you.” Logan said gently, hugging his boyfriend tightly. “Roman, what’s going on?” Roman shrugged, burying his face in Logan’s chest. Logan sighed. He was going to have to be… less than gentle. Just for a moment. “Get up.” he sighed, pulling them both to their feet. Roman stumbled, but stepped back and rubbed his eyes.

“I… I didn’t know you were coming, I…” Roman looked sadly around the room. “Um…”

“Where’s your medication?” Logan asked, raising an eyebrow. “Did you take it?”

“Well…” Roman smiled sheepishly, but Logan could see it was faked.

“Roman…” Logan rubbed his eyes. “You have to take your medication!”

“Well it’s too late now,” Roman flopped onto the couch and sighed. Logan frowned.

“Good to see you Logan!” Patton forced himself to sound cheerful.

“Er-” Logan glanced up. Virgil seemed anxious to have something to do. “Virgil, do you think you could bring all these blankets to the bedroom?”

“Yeah.” Virgil hurried to gather the blankets, Logan sat down and pulled Roman into a hug. Roman immediately responded, cuddling into him.

“Patton, if you’d go to the bathroom and find Roman’s medication in the cabinet, and bring us a glass of water?”

“Sure thing!” Patton was gone in a heartbeat, leaving Logan and Roman alone in the living room. Logan sighed, running his fingers through Roman’s hair. He wasn’t much for physical touch, but Roman was. And he’d obviously had a bad day.

“M sorry.” Roman mumbled into Logan’s shoulder.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Logan stated. “You know this is something you’ve always struggled with.”

“M stupid.” Roman said. Logan frowned, pushing him back to look him in the eye. Roman bit his lip, tears in his eyes again.

“You are not stupid,” Logan said irritably. Roman frowned. “You’ve done stupid things, but that doesn’t make you stupid. But you know you need to take your medication.”

“I felt like crap when I woke up…” Roman mumbled. “Might as well save it for tomorrow…”

“No, you know that’s not right.” Logan sighed. “Nevermind. You’ll take it now, and then it’ll be fine.”

“But-”

“It’s okay that you’ll stay up late tonight because we’re going to a movie.” Logan decided, wiping tears off of his face. Patton walked in with the bottle of medication and a glass of water. Roman sighed and accepted it, downing the tablet with a swig of water.

“Sorry, Patt,” he sighed and looked at the clock. “You’re missing your class, and-”

“It’s alright!” Patton promised.

“But-”

“Shut it, Princey,” Virgil came in and leaned on the back of the couch. “You could’ve just told us you were having a bad day.”

“And now we know,” Patton said softly. “So it’ll be all good.”

“Thanks.” Roman sighed and leaned back onto Logan’s shoulder. Logan wrapped a protective arm around him and smiled gently, combing his fingers through his hair.

Logan glanced toward the door, where he’d dropped his backpack after entering. There was a more important surprise than just visiting, but he figured that could wait until after the movie. Or perhaps tomorrow. Either way, he wouldn’t have to leave his boyfriend for long after this visit.

He just hoped Roman liked the ring.

I told you there was a happy ending ;)

Thank you for reading!! <3

-Coby

[threenorth]

TW: just avoid it.

Please just do one of the those flick scrolls.

"the darkside"

I remember being 4 they selected for greatness i remember putting shaving cream on mirrors and all the figure eights and swivel boards.

I remember all these tests they wanted answers for and i didn't understand what they we're asking me.

I remember the smell of the white bleached white lab coats.

I remember told me i was different i remember they said life's going to be hard whatever that was supposed to mean I'm not even able to understand what your saying.

There was some underlying issues but they couldn't fully determine all of them but that was the start of my mental/medical journey.

I knew something wasnt right but I wasn't sure what because i only could feel like i was lip reading them, i later found i had an audio sensory issue.

It started so early i wish i had time to prepare to meet them unfortunately life didn't want me to have that and i was about to loose myself.

I was just a a mear boy just only 2 feet tall hadn't fully understood understood my feelings and I was I was criticised and ridiculed I was bullied my life was made a living hell, couldn't run as fast like the other kids so they broke my legs i couldn't write my b's and d's so they broke my arms i couldn't think clearly and understand what was being said from the teacher when i herd everything in the room from every whisper to the toilet being flushed with my head reminded of the time it was in the bowl so they broke my mind they laughed and kicked me to the ground, they punched my face they pulled my pants down they robbed me of my childhood.

I started unknowninly self harm putting the pencil into my arm as i tried to do the test of multiplication as it it an easy task for some bit for me i couldn't think with all the pain of unable to do this thing called school.

I'm greatful that some days i had bucky, he tied my shoe laces when i couldn't he would slow down and run slow with me and we would play play games, i found my escape from my reailty it was in places that weren't of this earth it was a folklore of wizards and knights and demons and dragon's and the occasionals it was 2003.

One day in school i had to fight for my life i had enough, enough was enough they pushed me so i pushed back i was in detention having to explain i didn't start this and i wanted it to stop and all they told me is violence isn't the answer yet that's all that i received for 6 years of my life was the cruelilty of strangers who I'd never be able to see again it was only 2005 and i started listening to green day and my parents separated and i had a trial for my adhd, they gave me Ritalin i got psychosis i was pulled off the trial but that's when my nightmares of my dreams became my reailty i saw them but refused to admit they are of this world i started lying it was my only way to survive i couldn't tell people the truth they wouldn't believe me if i told them.

One day i got a cane I could walk then they kicked it over and they beat the living shit out of me with hateful words and left me for dead i tried to stand but the damage was done, i stopped eating my lunches ultimately giving them to the freind i had who had less then me and i started cutting my wrists actively i was only 12 listening to my chemical romance and panic at the disco and fall out boy it was 2007. The black parade sent me a phantom, i listened to him i followed his voice, I started actively listening to my voice of reason but it was voice of treason and motive wasn't seen the only voice telling me how to cope with all the problems unfortunately he wasn't the right voice but i herd him before telling me how to survive school and that's all i knew how to survive and school.

I met bucky again, it had only been two years but ultimately i wasn't there unable to operate fully my life again made a living hell, i found my escape in the books at the library looking for answers on the computer looking online for anything to ease the suffering one day i thought computers are repairable by humans so what do humans do to repair humans i found psychology and i diagnosed myself reading the DSM it was 2010.

By now I'm lying and waiting to get home to play my video games of lies as it's all I've known and try to my best in school and maybe be something lying one day ill be like Richard Branson he's dyslexic he got something from this life so i can too... It was 2011

When i was 16 i tried to kill myself but i couldn't bring myself to it i tried, i tried another three times in that year but god forbid anyone would even notice me everyone hated me anyway i wouldn't be missed I'd just be another tragic story untold.

the time we met I had been walking again and i tried fight and suppress my emotions to protect people and some habits ultimately hadn't ever stopped. This time they broke my ribs too and I couldn't breathe and my only air was from the darkness that once consumed me he gave me my legs and i carried on breathing hoping one day it would stop... Some days it stopped other days i was fighting for my survival, and bucky said "no he's not worth it" i replied "if i don't now,I'll never get another chance" and violence isn't the answer,I'm glad now i never did but for years i wish i had.

I decided after many years of thinking about it i left school and went to try get into computers and some how got my qualification but never made it into the feild, i started working at a bar.

I also picked up tumblr it was a nice way to have my own slice of internet but Boose seemed to taste good on the nights when it was hard to find peace when you finish at 5am.

I some how found a girl, she wasn't like the other girls i knew she liked my chemical romance and seemed to be a gem in the rough we talked a little then more and more while His voice telling me to come home Reborn his prince. Rebirthed a lie. Destroyed by it. Every night i worked i got a free drink a nice thank you but ultimately destroying my life but i stopped self harm she asked me to so i did but she had a way to break through my walls and show me the life i never had only with bucky at my side who we hadn't seen each other in awhile because of work and life journeys.

One day in 2014 i was given the opportunity to go to America again and we will vist my brother i also soon remembered that this girl lived there and thought it might of been fun maybe to just wave from the car we had three beautiful good and bad days, but she was there through them. One day we watched a movie and the flashing lights and screams dragged me back to death bed i saw her dying and she was the only thing i cared about and i had bloody hands it was me who killed her i was a monster but her voice calmed me down and tried to remind me that everything is going to be okay, we watched a movie where a boy leaves the girl and she was happy, i knew then to make this girl happy i would have to leave her but i didn't want to i just had to it was the only way she would smile because i wouldn't be the one that kills her by my arms and i wasn't self harming but i was in pain of loosing my favourite person in the world except bucky.

And i said yep, this is it. You have to now or it will happen the way you saw in the cinema Walls up and not look back, she went to Michigan and i went to the darkside the phantom he was the only person who had taken me and helped me and fed me lies of everything you ever said.

I tried keeping tabs on her blog because i could see she was alive and then one day it just stopped and i thought the darkness had gotten her she had stopped breathing it crushed me and i blamed myself for not seeing the signs earlier enough ultimately it turned out she was with a new boy god she looked happy so i tried messaging her, i was told that i should leave so i left because that's what she asked of me it was all i could do it was 2015 So if she wanted me gone i will be gone because she asked me. I finally becoming what i thought i wanted to be surrounded by my darkness i lied to survive to my ultimate demise and getting answers while looking to the future in all the wrong places i believed my disillusions they consumed me they taught me everything they knew and had to try to figure out how to try get back to her however i could so i decided why waste time when i can get a degree of something that let's me do something while i think about everything finally at peace so i went to university and there was some beautiful days but almost everyday i wondered how the girl was doing with out me by her side and she knows that i promised her I'd never leave her but if wanted me in her life she would of messaged and i had to live with some promises you can break but ultimately I'm glad i never self harmed because she had asked me to. In 2016 i was offered another trip to see family in Florida and i was glad she was happy and because i had a few months before college i thought id work the mountains that's where her face was, but i blamed myself for not being her reason to be happy but i could try once more unfortunately again told to leave i guess that was the sign i should leave forever and make peace of what was.

I graduated university and was looking for jobs in San Francisco like i thought id end up being a technology guy hoping maybe one day she would remember everything i said it was 2018 and i was about to be diagnosed with autism, this crushed my world because now i have to tick yes to a disability and no one likes disabled people it's like an unwritten law i spent a whole year trying to get a job and got no where almost had a job that would of been nice and could of led me to where i expected she would of been in the forrest writing novels.

In 2020 i had to work shitty jobs again and pray this wouldn't be my life forever knowing I'm Richard Branson. One day i got a call that a company wanted to offer me a job but k had to survive one more year until 2021, Karen covid, retial, depression triggers.

I survived and packed up my life and moved cities one day i thought holy fuck.

I got the degree, i got job i just didn't get the girl.

By now it wouldn't surpise me if she was married.

And she wasn't i followed her instagram and decided now it's time i seek.

I saw her and herd her voice and finally understood all the things I didn't before.

I went to the gym, i got a trainer I got need shoes with my new orphodeics i got glasses to see i got a beard, i was getting my life that i wish i had.

Ultimately i made her a letter and now the dark times are lingering I've had 3 panic attacks and 5 axinety episodes, and a fuck ton of executive dysfunction I'm fighting because she asked me.

I'm screaming but keep going i can do this.

I can do this.

If you read this.

Just a few more months.

Bucky, im with you till the end of the line.

Closing the door on the past.

Hoping that...

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

A Definitely Incomplete List Of My Favorite Moments From The Lightning Thief (book), because I'm having Feelings

Percy very causally mentioning times he accidentally hit a school bus with a canon or dropped fifth graders into shark-infested water

Grover Underwood

Just everything he’s ever done

Percy running an illegal candy ring out of his dorm room 

“I was worried they found out I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the internet and were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.”

When Percy thought Grover was going to give him some deep, meaningful commentary on life to make him feel better but Grover just wanted Percy’s lunch

Percy tried so hard to do well on his Latin final and Chiron somehow thinks it’s a good idea to tell him he’s ‘not normal’ in front of the class my poor boy

That one part where Percy essentially went “Oh hey mom’s home!!! Better reschedule this panic attack I was having!!” 

When Percy did that weird hand sign (that was never explained) and the door slammed on Gabe so hard he flew up the steps

The fact that when Grover finally tracked Percy down he wasn’t wearing any pants. Like, there was literally no reason for him to not have the fake feet and the jeans on. No actual reason for him to be free balling it. Percy just needed a shock apparently. Showing up in the middle of a hurricane with no pants, dramatic ass satyr I love him. 

The SATISFYING DEATH of Gabe’s Camaro + Sally apparently learned bullfighting just in case because she truly is the best mom

Percy killing the minotaur with its own horn

Percy dragging Grover over the camp line while crying for his mom literally end me

“You drool when you sleep.” could we get more iconic here

Percy teasing Annabeth about her crush on Luke

When Luke stole some toiletries for Percy and he got a little choked up because it was apparently the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him

The fact that Chiron basically told Annabeth that Percy was her destiny

The fact that a recovering alcoholic god of wine who hates children was deemed fit to run a camp for children

Not so fun: Percy, upon meeting Mr. D, immediately recognizing the signs of an alcoholic and going out of his way to sit far away from him ‘just in case’

The fact that everyone just expected him to hear ‘the greek gods are real’ and move on?? why would no one let this boy be in shock omg

Zeus apparently had a thing for the fluffy 80′s hairstyles

“the real world is where the monsters are” 

The fact that Poseidon could have claimed Percy at literally any moment but he apparently decided he really needed that dramatic reveal during capture the flag.

When Zeus was feeling Extra Dramatic(tm) after Percy’s claiming so he started making it rain inside the camp boarders and everyone was lowkey freaking out

When Annabeth pulls off her invisible cap and declares she’s going on the quest with him and Percy was like, beyond unsurprised that she was there and didn’t even attempt to fight her 

Chiron forgot to give Percy a sword from his father for like, an entire month. 

Grover with those freaking flying shoes oh my God

Annabeth blushing literally any time Luke talks to her 

IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE AND RESPECT ARGUS, HEAD OF CAMP SECURITY

lmao when Percy and Annabeth start bickering about something and Argus just winks at Percy because he knows

When they were playing hackey sack with an apple but it got too close to Grover’s mouth and he just ate the whole thing

The entire bus scene oh my God

“I was about to become the ADHD Poster Child of the Year” as he’s CRASHING A BUS

Annabeth on a fury’s back 

the explosion. just. all gr8. 

When Grover tries to play a path finder song and Percy just immediately slams into a tree. Also the fact that the path finder song was actually just a Hillary Duff number. 

“You two are giving me a migraine, and satyr's don’t even get migraines!” 

Percy actually, truly trying to sell the story that the three of them are circus orphans who got separated from their ringleader 

Grover: hey guys this place is REALLY SHADY and we need to leave

Annabeth and Percy: but f o o d

Can you imagine walking into a store and finding your dead uncle’s body on display? Like????

When Medusa revealed herself and Annabeth’s running around invisible, Percy’s swinging a sword blindly and Grover’s flying around screaming and trying to whack her with a stick: everyone here is a MESS

When Annabeth was overly annoyed with Percy after that ordeal??? Sweetheart you fell for the trick too

Name something more iconic than 12 year old Percy Jackson mailing the decapitated head of Medusa to the gods on Mt. Olympus in an act of sheer pettiness. I dare you. 

When Percy was insisting on taking first watch while the others slept and Grover was basically like “hey kiddo listen to this” and played a song that immediately knocked him out so he could sleep all night 

“Percy. Say hello to the poodle.”

Percy seeing all the Greek creatures from the train window 

When Annabeth was dragging the boys to the St. Louis Arch and Percy’s claustrophobic ass Did Not Want To Get In That Tiny Elevator but he went anyway because he wanted Annabeth to be happy. That boy has had it bad since the start. 

“I am Echidna!”

“Isn’t...isn’t that a type of anteater?”

“I HATE AUSTRALIA.” 

How many times has Percy actually been poisoned throughout all the series I literally want a count 

‘Lemme just, uh....jump off the fucking St. Louis Arch and hope I don’t die when I hit the water.’

There is just something very aesthetic about Percy lighting a fire in the bottom of a river 

Percy’s got so much pent-up rage that he’s just immediately ready to wreck Ares upon meeting him omfg

THE THRILL RIDE O’ LOVE

Annabeth getting so worked up and flustered over going down there with Percy because it’s a love ride and Percy’s just like “you literally do not have to make this a Thing” lmao

Annabeth wouldn’t let Percy touch Aphrodite’s scarf because she didn’t want him getting infected by love magic but then...touched it herself lol

The entire sequence with the mechanical spiders and the cameras and the ride itself 

Percy’s plan to get off the ride!!!! He’s so smart okay can people stop calling him stupid!!! 

Grover trying to catch them both in mid-air but they‘re too heavy so the three of them just kind of slowly crash into one of those face-cut-out posters lol

Percy, turning to the camera’s broadcasting this shit on Olympus: “Show’s over! Thank You! Goodnight!” 

THE FUCKING ZOO BUS

Everything about that scene omg. The animals they had to help. Trying to convince Grover of how great he is. The baby percabeth. my h e a r t

“What if it does line up like the Trojan War? Athena versus Poseidon?”

“I don’t know what my mom will do. I just know I’ll be fighting next to you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re my friend, Seaweed Brain, any more stupid questions?”

Do you hear that sound? That’s me, ages 13-21(+) sobbing uncontrollably oh my God I love them so much

‘let’s just set a fucking lion loose in Las Vegas’ 

“I put a Blessing of the Wild on them, so they’ll safely find food and shelter wherever they go.”

“Why can’t you put on of those on us?”

“It only works on wild animals.”

“So it would only effect Percy...”

“HEY!” 

When they get to the Lotus hotel and Grover starts playing that game where the deer shoot the hunters azxjhnhdjx

Percy physically having to drag his friends out of there once he realized it was the lair of the lotus eaters

When Annabeth gave the taxi driver her lotus credit card and he started calling her “Your Highness” lmao

Every time in this book Percy comes close to uncovering a Dark Truth the people around him are just like “let’s not worry about that :) “ and my polite boy actually shuts up it’s so wild because I would just keep going lol

CRUSTY THE WATER BED SALESMAN 

Listen that entire scene has lowkey always been one of my Favs and I’m not even sure why but Percy chopping his head off was g r e a t

The entrance to the Underworld is DOA Recording Studios and I love it

“We, uh...all drowned in a bathtub.”

Poor Charon just wants his Italian suits he doesn’t need all this bullshit 

Grover almost getting dragged into Tartarus: not good. very bad. bad shit. 

Annabeth getting emotionally attached to Cerberus in the span of 3 minutes: RELATABLE 

‘huh my backpack that I thought I got rid of five days ago is getting weirdly heavy, that’s not suspicious though, right?’ 

When Hades just starts monologue-ing about all the shit he has to put up with

“what kind of awful things do you have to do to get sewn into Hades underwear?” p e r c y

when Percy realizes the Master Bolt is in his backpack and he’s just like. tell me why. why. I’m a good person. what did I DO. 

When Percy has to sacrifice his mom to get Annabeth and Grover out of there I Cri Evey Tiem 

My cute lil’ baby yelling around on a beach to get Ares to show up 

ahdbsjznx when Grover gives Percy a crushed, half eaten tin can for good like and Percy is just like “Grover...I don’t know what to say.” I LOVE HIM

My sweet son kicking the god of war’s ass. bless. blessed on this day. 

The news crews who suddenly started backtracking and writing Percy as a hero 

Percy, choking back tears, giving Gabe’s store’s phone number out on national television and promising everyone free appliances IM STILL CACKLING I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH HE’S ICONIC 

Hades actually releasing Sally because he’s Not As Big Of A Dick As He Could Have Been 

Percy: hey I think there’s a really good chance that Kronos was behind this whole mess-

Zeus and Poseidon: XXX KRONOS DO NOT INTERACT XXX

Poseidon rolling his eyes at literally everything Zeus says and does

Poseidon and Percy’s whole talk omg my sweet boy just wants his dad to love him and Poseidon’s trying to figure out how to show affection when he basically signed this kid’s death sentence I’m crying 

A man will never satisfy me as much or in the same way as Sally Jackson murdering Gabe Ugliano did 

Percy was spending months of summer stressing over who the friend that’s supposed to betray him was but like...Sweetie you had exactly three (3) friends and you knew two of them weren’t gonna hurt you

ahbdjsnx when Percy and Luke were having their conversation in the woods and like Luke’s acting shady af the whole time but it’s literally not until he litters that Percy is like “something...is Wrong.” this boy I s2g

Percy getting bit by a scorpion is Not A Favorite Moment but the nymphs helping him out was 

Percy making his Official Decision to go home for the school year only after Annabeth reveals that he actually did talk her into trying again with her family 

I didn’t mean to write out a summary of the whole damn book it’s six am listen I’m just feeling nostalgia for the original series in this chili’s tonight 

whoops

[22514209147]

azs smile like heavens light

having a heartbeat connects you to other humans, having none keeps you separate, rhythm of the world

burning his voice away, can't sing praise

a touch too red to be anything but tempting

from the soil to the stars

humans would make terrible angels, you make a terrible angel, why yes i suppose i do

what is the difference between righteous fury and the sin of wrath?

the power of holy love versus human love, one that the other angels can't understand and could destroy them

angels get their wings broken or pinioned when they fall so they can't save themselves

god is neutral not good, intentionally casts angels out just so that there are two sides

crowley freaks out the first time az touches his wings, traumatized

az misses flying because he hasn't gone, crowley misses it because he can't, az will never go without him

the effort that he had made last night was lying soft on his hip

crowley is left handed and has awful penmanship

he writes slowly to make up for it, coming up with and rejecting dozens of sentences before setting pen to paper

crowley's true form has a bright center that the Fall couldn't dim. he imagined there was an untouched place in him, so there was

az enjoys rituals of all kinds, stims.

az does dishes by hand when crowley teaches himself how to cook

very grounded in the physical world, sensation seeking

Falling feels like being partially empty, Rising feels like suddenly having an extra organ that doesn't fit

posture is terrible, weight of the world and others' expectations. straightening shoulders is like spreading wings

crowley was raphael but raphael wasnt important, humans decided he was

crowley trying to discorporate himself with alcohol and pills, az finds him

they can't miracle each other, az stays with him until he's well

in the dark to focus on senation alone

something felt off, wrong. like your teeth had been rearranged

he had been known by another name, too. one that was almost forgotten, just the barest memories of crimson, sparks of gold and a smile dancing on his lips

ocean mind

crowley's original eyes burned out when he Fell, literal snake eyes replaced them

he can't see the stars anymore, which is why he has the book. it's not great, but it helps with the heartache. az let's him see through his eyes and he cries for the first time since eden

crowley cried in Eden when it rained and az protected him, first act of kindness for another soul

demons are given animal parts to replace what they lost in the fall, cobbled together in crude imitations of creation

hiraeth- homesickness for a place you can never return to

angels can hear prayers directed to them.. crowley doesn't know this- nobody to pray to him before he Fell. az heard his prayers to him

az washing crowley's feet after the church

he would call himself pathetic, but at this point why bother? everyone already knew

az is adhd/autistic and the angels are all nt

doesn't like new tech because it's too loud and too bright and too much all the time

bringing wings out through clothing is possible but feels wrong and slightly off, shirtless is better

mournful, haunting, bitter. beautiful but it leaves you unsettled

az doesn't really need nipples but he likes them for the sensation and in the Victorian era he gets them pierced

crowley doesn't bother with nipples

use me, no i won't punish you, not like this, cuddles only

crowley makes an effort to get his pants to fit better and realizes that his body does things he's not necessarily in control of when he's with az

satisfaction is not in crowley's nature

crowley's back broke when he Fell, dragging useless legs

animals instinctively hate crowley, bookstore cat

they used to shake hands when saying goodbye but stopped after they realized they were in love because it felt both too close and too impersonal

crowley as raphael could heal. it was an intimate, slow process as he felt out all the problems and fixed them one by one with a gentle touch

crowley and az go for a walk and crowley gets to cold, refuses to warm himself with hellfire because he's scared of hurting az

angels can't sink, demons can't float. crowley likes to sit on the bottom and watch the surface from underneath

they go out for milkshakes, crowley is lactose intolerant

after leaving the dowlings crowley disappears for a few months and gets wasted, partying to forget his grief. he cut his hair and cried about it

crowley tends not to blink because every time he closes his eyes he sees himself falling

crowley used to love food but can't bring himself to enjoy it after his fall

crowley throws himself into experiences, following trends and letting up with the flow of culture while az stays the same

az feels lonely and forsaken by the other angels, hates that he still cares about them when they don't care about him

i am as good as the worst, i am as bad as the best (walt whitman i am as bad as the worst but thank god i am as good as the best)

az's halo is cool, steady light. crowley's is fire

heaven isn't about goodness, it's about obedience as opposed to hell's rebellion. they just assume obedience=goodness

az tries to touch crowley intimately, crowley takes control because he doesn't know how to sit back and receive attention. later he has az fuck him hard

crowley keeps everything and everyone at arm's length because he's afraid, tells himself he's not allowed to touch. once he and az are together he can't get enough

crowley is colorblind, the body swap takes a bit of getting used to because he's shocked at the colors

heavens light burns worse than the sun when gods grace is removed. crowley's freckles show up where the damage was worst, shoulders back hips etc

the back of his head smacked against the floor hard enough for him to see stars but he couldn't possibly care any less, wrapped in pleasure as he was

weatheredlaw antibodies their first kiss sparks, like licking a battery

god is infinitely multiple and devastatingly singular

"you mentioned having a friend over-"

"i have no friends outside of you"

that poor demon, the spherical little thing

when az sees abel dead it reminds him of the first time he stepped out of his body

hell is hot and damp, like a room with too many bobies in it

hellfire straight from hell vs hellfire made on earth by a demon

crowley appreciates sleep for the oblivion of the space between dreams. he doesn't hurt, doesn't yearn, doesn't regret

all angels of the host are connected, can feel when one is lost. it too a while to recover from the great war. demons are not connected to each other at all- they lost that in the fall, and always feel alone despite the crowding in hell. human individuality is between the two- they can't feel others, but they can create physical and emotional connection. that's where az and crow end up

crow hates being told her nice because the idea that there still good in him hurts. he believes that he's irredeemable and isn't okay with that as much as he claims to be.

demons don't trust one another with their wings so they keep them clean themselves or they never groom them.

when a fallen angel is touched with holy water everything hellish about them is washed away and the rest of them is taken to heaven

celestial harmonies contain so many voices and chords that they all sound the same

crowley spends hours reading wiki pages- ducks do have ears, it turns out

they get silver rings- gold is too heaven and nothing sparkles in hell

"you taste sweet" sorry, i know you don't like sweet- "i like you"

crow was made to create. with that taken from him he feels lost, don't know who he is. he threw himself into his work for hell at first but it quickly turned out to be not what he needed

god cast crowley out of heaven so that he would be free. the angels have made it abundantly clear that there is no place in heaven for questions

crowley can't change his eyes, but he can miracle an illusion over then if he needs to. it's very uncomfortable, like wearing sclera contacts

fake human au- az tries to find crow after he "dies" and is dismayed and confused that he's not in the archives at all. surely heaven keeps track of every human?

crowley fucks off to japan (sushi reminds him off az) until he has to go back to london

without the glasses in the way az can read him like an open book

crowley wills himself to sleep to avoid a conversation. becomes a snake, manifests eyelids just to make a point of having them closed

crowley tries to tell himself that demons don't feel guilty, but what better punishment is there than the constant feelings of doubt and regret?

being a snake is easier, since he doesn't have to deal with complicated human things like emotions and legs

crowley feels like his soul is dirty, az bathes him and tells him how much he loves him, even the dirty parts

coffee bad hot and does hurt on the mouth

my first relationship feel apart because of a lack of communication. i was touch starved and constantly sought contact with him. he took that as sexual interest and pushed me to "take the next step" and that terrified me. i didn't know how to say no so i broke it off

devil, devil go away, claim my soul another day

amdg2846, artenon, racketghost

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21215792/chapters/50508812 music box

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19351342/chapters/46038757

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20177950/chapters/47807593 99k therapy

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1481240 130k green things series

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1500140 60k avenging angel