#refusal to care for their own child
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Abusive parents will convince you that you're 'too old to be cared for' from the second you can understand words. Normal parents will not consider their children too old to care for even when they're 50.
#psychological abuse#child neglect#child abuse#abusive parents#grooming#toxic parents#you're always too old for everything good#missed your chance to be cute enough so they would hug you#missed your chance to have anyone pay attention to you#you should be able to do everything yourself from age zero#refusal to care for their own child
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luther: the golden child
diego: the mastermind
allison: the peace keeper
klaus: the clown / mascot
five: the rebel / truth teller
ben: the lost child
viktor: the scapegoat
is this something i think this is something
#the umbrella academy#rani makes text posts no one will read#hargreeves siblings#ben being the lost child is kind of forced bc he’s dead but i find it interesting even then#bc ben was unique in the family for already hating being a superhero and his powers due to the horror of them. and however it is he died#it had to be horrific bc viktor doesn’t write about it in his book bc five doesn’t know what happened. and before he died ben’s unique self#awareness seems to have meant they all loved him in a normal way only for his death to poison those bonds completely#so through no decision of his own this very sullen and cranky child has to become a self sacrificing wallflower bc the only way he gets to#even exist is if he takes care of klaus and tries to sober him up. his big moment is sacrificing himself for his siblings! they can’t ever#escape the abuse that reginald heaped onto them!! even in death they’re playing roles reginald forced them into#and sparrow ben is clearly so used to being the manipulator so he’s thrown when his family dies and sloane refuses to be manipulated anymore#and he winds up kind of lost child esque accidentally *anyway* - ignored and repressing his feelings and unable to connect emotionally#also before anyone says diego is too stupid to be the mastermind google ‘the mastermind dysfunctional family role’ it doesn’t require you to#not be a himbo only to be willing to be cruel & as they all say in s1 diego never knows when to stop#pogo is an adult enabler. grace has a weird function bc the umbrella kids love her and diego is convinced she killed reginald bc of abuse#five seems similarly attached to her (makes sense given delores) but the others see her more as an enabler which is INTERESTING#i’m gonna stop rambling now
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are you guys thinking about touya todoroki today because i am
#what if he just wanted to be good what if he burned up and out waiting for his parent to look at him and just LOVE HIM#what if all he ever wanted was that positive affirmation what if he just needed to be treated kindly and was instead#offered only cruelty what if he was a child who didn't need to be strong he just needed to be held#what if raising children to be soldiers regardless of good intention is still a fucked up thing to do#because they're CHILDREN they just want you to be nice to them they don't care about being the strongest#and why does being the strongest matter more than anything else? is that really worth doing all this damage?#is it really worth being so mean? you're supposed to love them why won't you show it#and it haunts him so much he literally BURNS HIMSELF ALIVE OVER IT and no one even comes to watch#and when the rejection finally FINALLY gets through his head and he's forced to accept that he's never gonna get that love#and acknowledgement that he needs so much he doesnt heal from it and choose to be the bigger person#he instead becomes something ugly and mean and messy and awful and he's a sum of all the acts made against him#because he's ANGRY and he doesn't care that he's angry he's shameless and embracing of that rage#because it covers up the hurt and if he has to hurt people in order to avoid his own pain then that's what he'll do#and to the very end he's shouting every bad thing that happened to him refusing to go down quietly about it#refusing to be a good little victim that shakes and cries in a corner and lets things sort themselves out because it NEVER DOES#NO ONE EVER SAVES HIM. NO ONE EVER PROTECTS HIM. WHY WON'T THEY PROTECT HIM#and not a single person acknowledges him. not a single person looks on him with pity#there's no one there to say 'that was shit and you deserved better'. no one. and what did he honestly do that was so bad as to deserve this#he was a child who wanted to be loved. to be good. that's all#touya todoroki#literally feels like his character was created to make me specifically want to blow my brains out el oh el <3
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Thinking about her (Karina Braun)
#I do not like her in the slightest#But also want to explore Reiners feelings toward her post rumbling#Her 'oh yes i only want my son' bullshit is not flying with me (nor is it flying with jean AHAHAHAH)#Karina used Reiner as a tool to further her own desires#Putting a clear expiration date on her only son as the ripe age of ten#She sees him coming back from his trip to hell depressed suicidal self harming and does not care lol#She also gladly pushes gabby toward the same fate (and we know how Reiner feels about Gabby)#So yes propaganda propaganda but goddamn the amount of damages she caused her only son (a literal CHILD)#Reiner is somewhat aware of all that but feels conflicted about it and might kind of push it away#Cause god he has already lost so much#She would have AT BEST troubles reckoning with the full extend of it and properly atone for it#And at worst be a nasty bitch about it and straight up refuse to admit anything but still insists on having a relationship with her son#Idk man wherever she ends up falling on that spectrum Reiner is in for a fun time#(cause i do think he'd want some sort of relationship with her)#(also i think she wouldn't be fully on board with her son kissing devil men (yes jean) on the mouth so that's a problem to add to the list)#Interested about how jean would fit in all of that cause of course he'd be there every step of the way#(they're in love your honor there is just a chance they don't know it yet)#Between his mom being so not karina#his foul mouth#big heart and burning desire to prevent reiner from being trampled yet again#That would make for some fun discussions#So much possibilities... the juices are jussing#do i have the braincells to discuss all this with the nuance it deserves at this ungodly hour? no#hopefully at some point i will#reinjean adjacent#rambling
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can't stop thinking abt how the fact that declan mattered so little to his father that the asshole couldn't even be bothered to keep the memories of the day his son was born was supposed to make up for declan's whole shitty childhood
like hey kid u know what u just weren't worth the pain. do u feel better abt it now.
#like. for years he made declan feel like he didn't matter.#and then it gets confirmed#and that is somehow the emotional resolution?#trc#declan lynch#the whole getting rid of memories storyline was so unnecessary#such a poor attempt at artificially increasing the poor meow niall factor#like. it's like saying to every kid who got fucked up by the divorce 'oh but u parents suffered more! suck it up'#his parents lacked the emotional maturity to go through the break up and take care of their child at the same time and that's okay#happens all the time#it's okay to say that they fucked up.#u don't need to shift the blame to the child for refusing to see all the love he was supposedly showered with#yes he did that. because it's easier for a child's mind.#the conclusion wasn't supposed to be 'omg my father loved me so much i just refused to see it! now that i see it im happy and healed'#it's 'yeah my father was an asshole and my feelings abt it were valid but he was also a complicated person who did love me in his own way'#'it just wasn't enough to make him a good father and it wasn't my fault'#oh and i am forever mad abt the moth scene at the end#why are we making it abt niall? again#i have had enough of this dude#all that needed to be said abt him was said in dream thieves#he's just not intresting enough to keep bringing him up all the time#this is niall lynch hate blog
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i cant speak my thoughts so take these three images instead
*incoherent mumbling and hand gestures* you get me?
JUST so you know? "big resolution moment is seeing the humanity of kids (1)once" characters ALSO dont see children as people👍
#mypost#spiderverse#atsv#arcane#disney#pixar#this is specifically from a adult-parent relationship dynamic lens i dont care how awfully these adults treat other adults#this is just me being butthurt and hating many movie parents or even most movies that even focus on a family relationship#i will never forgive hiccup's father for example. brother he can die#OR queen elinor. she can die too 👍👍#its so funny how evil queen passes the vibe check. she was immensely threatened by a child and brought her own doom on herself#good job queen now die#miguel is also respecting kids in the same way- his condescending isnt focused on miles being a child hes always like that#his overbearing dominance too#what makes him pass is that he approaches miles as an equal tries to talk it out as equals and then tries to hunt him down as equals#SLAMS my boy into the train as equals there isnt invisible power dynamic Miles doesnt care for that shit at all#even refuses it from peter b parker! and its allowed and it doesnt make the adults have a mental breakdown on the child character#so its a given theyre interacting as equals#yeesh
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being someone who works in childcare and like cares a lot about children’s entertainment is a blessing and a curse tbh. On the one hand it’s not looked at strangely for wearing clothes with characters on it but also I get to pick the music in the classroom and have the delight of the kids choosing lazytown and Sesame Street over disney, but also I see So Much bad children’s entertainment.
#Captain’s own#personal logs#this IS a cocomelon hate blog btw#and it’s not even like “oh everything I grew up with rules and everything new sucks”#because I like and respect a lot of newer children’s media#but only if it has CARE in it#you can’t just shit out a nursery rhyme and expect me to be like “okay yeah this will nurture the child” like NO#I refuse to play cocomelon in the classroom#I’ll play Disney music and it’s fine but like consistently kids will pick Sesame Street and lazytown and the Laurie Berkner Band#over disney if given the choice#like care!! put into stuff made for children!#thats (imo) still fun for adults!
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I've read a Reddit thread a few days back. The original post was an audio of a mother having a nervous breakdown bc other mothers in the groupchat were isolating her and refusing to cooperate with her so her son could have a nice costume for a school play.
Mommies' groupchats are an issue on its own, but 99% of the comments were men joking about it and saying "this would never happen in the men's groupchat". That's because y'all never bother to be the one responsible for getting your kids the stuff they need for school. You don't even bother to know the teachers' names or probably won't even try to ever to schedule a doctor's appointment for your kids.
But, haha, women are so funny when they get stressed being the sole caretaker plus the only ones doing chores.
#my cousin has a friend who recently divorced because her (ex) husband refused to change the baby's dipper#he didn't want to get involved in taking care of his own child what the fuck#most men act like they are a sperm donor and think that's enough#anyways i know reddit is a pisspool and men there are mostly closer to incel theory#and they are just a percentage but still
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Hey, guys, if an artist/writer says “I don’t want to draw/write xyz thing” for whatever reason, maybe just don’t challenge them on it. Like, the person isn’t gonna just throw their hands up in the air and go “oh yes- because you are objectively correct my boundaries are suddenly gone and I’m willing to do it,” they’re probably just gonna get mad at you because their feelings were probably never about objectivity in the first place
#honkai impact#genshin impact#though this was kinda brought on by a recent discussion this post is not solely about it#it’s kinda just been a long time coming#cuz nothing makes me hate a ship more than its avid supporters refusing to leave me alone#I don’t ever want to draw Kaeluc romantically. I don’t like the ship#I know they aren’t technically brothers. I know about the whole sworn siblings thing. I know how it’s used in a romantic context#I simply do not like the pairing#Kaebedo shippers took a ship a used to be completely neutral on and made me hate it by refusing to leave me alone#I’m not drawing any heterosexual Yae content#‘well she’s not canonically a lesbian-‘#I do not care. I read her as lesbian. I’m not drawing her romantically with either Ayato or Kalpas#same thing if the character is either explicitly a minor is implied to be a minor or just looks like a child most of the time#I do not want to deal with those ships#and I refuse to touch legal lolis with a 12ft pole#I get the pushback when people are trying to force their standards/interpretations on people who do like these things#and I am very much pro ‘just mind your own damn business’ on most shipping controversies#but me saying ‘I don’t like this thing’ after being asked to draw it is not a personal attack on you
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I'm a big advocate of just blocking and moving on when seeing bad takes about your interests but that's mostly because I rarely travel outside the small circle of artists and mutuals I follow and ohhhh boy after having seen the worst take about a beloved blorbo I suddenly understand everything, it was like a redditer overtook my body and I almost went into a rage as I resisted the urge to "um actually" and type up an entire essay in ops comment section but I persevered. Are you all proud of me.
#im mostly being hyperbolic but gosh#it's still eating me up inside so i will continue to complain about it here in the tags lol#so just scroll away if you don't wanna see me complain about things that don't matter<3#anyway i just saw someone say how karlach worked dorna slaver and would still be working for him if he hadn't betrayed her#implying she was only against gortash because his actions directly affected her#when FIRST IF ALL SHE WAS AN ORPHANED CHILD WHO WAS MANIPULATED BY HIM#AND SHE EVEN SAID IN HER OWN WORDS THAT SHE NEVER WOULD HAVE WORKED FOR GORTASG IS SHE HAD KNOWN WHO HE TRULY WAS#SHE WAS A KID AND WORKED FOR AN AWFUL MAN AND MOST LIKELY DID SOME PRETTY MESSED UP THINGS FOR HIM THIS IS TRUE#BUT SHE WAS A CHILD AND SHE LOOKED UP TO HIM WHILE HE MANIPULATED HER SO SHE WOULD ALWAYS PROTECT HIM AND DO WHAT HE SAID WITHOUT QUESTION#then he sold her to zariel and it wasn't until it was too late did she realize how evil gortash was#im unsure if she new he was a slaver when working for him but since she was a kid with nothing it's not like she's going to fully commit to#being a morally upstanding citizen when she literally couldn't afford it#saying karlach was only against gortash because his action affected her is BLATANTLY WRONG#she has flaws and is a deeply written characters and she cares so much about other people thats on of the reasons she worked with gortash#she cared about him and he used that to his advantage#okay rant over i love u karlach im sorry people refuse to look into your charcter beyond surface level assumptions </3#babbles#dear god there are so many typos. i aint retyping all that shit tho good luck deciphering that#i say as if anyone is gonna read it sjkdkf
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do you want me to fucking go off on you? do you truly fucking want that mother?
#“oh you and your sister never listen to me and blah blah blah” we fucking do (or at the very least i do)#“you guys never help out” does me doing the litter and taking out the trash and on occasion hand washing the dishes mean#fucking nothing to you? does me sweeping the floor every once in a while because you chose to keep us in an area that is ALL SAND/DIRT ROAD#for whatever stupid ass reason also meaningless? does me doing my damn best to help out mean fucking nothing?#do you want me to kill my self. do you want to lose your eldest child to something YOU could have fucking prevented all because you can’t#stop being a bitch to him all the time? do you really fucking want that mom? because at this rate i am once again on the road to fucking#attempting it. i’m so god damn sick of how you treat me. the only time i can do anything i want is at night. i stay up super late playing#games with my friends because its the only time in the day when you aren’t bitching and whining for me to do something you don’t want to do#for the past several days i’ve been up until five in the damn morning just to do something that makes me happy.#you misgender me. you deadname me. you refuse to accept any aspect of my identity. you don’t treat me like a god damn person.#i have so many different ways i can consider attempting if i truly wanted to. the only thing keeping me alive is my friends. because they a#least show that they fucking care and actively want to do things with me. like group drawing or playing video games.#YOU on the other hand; mother; yell and get mad at me over the stupidest shit and never fucking apologize.#i cannot recall a singular time you’ve apologized for being a complete bitch to me over something so fucking unimportant.#and yet i’m expected to be completely fucking fine and happy all because you provide me with the bare fucking minimum.#”i clothe and feed and provide a place for you to live” THAT IS THE BARE FUCKING MINIMUM. sure you could argue over the fact i’m 18 and#should be out working somewhere. but you give me so few opportunities for going places and even considering getting a job or finally gettin#my driver’s license. plus i would rather fucking die than work any food service or customer service job. because i’d be going somewhere#where i’d mostly get talked down to or yelled and then come home and have the same shit done after working for hours and getting minimal#pay. i’d rather work on my own fucking terms with commissions than go into any job where i have to interact with others in public for any#reason. where i’d be treated just the same as at home. like someone who isn’t a person and doesn’t deserve anyone to be nice to them.#i constantly so desperately wish that maybe one day soon i’d find someone to be with romantically and that i could maybe live with them and#get out of this hell hole that i’m supposed to call home. to go somewhere and have my efforts appreciated. to go somewhere where i’d#actually fucking be loved. i shouldn’t have to wish so god damn hard for a better life all because my mother can’t fucking treat me like a#person with hopes and dreams and thoughts and feelings.#i’m ending this rant here before i get too angry and upset. see you all in maybe an hour.#suicide mention#ask to tag
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MIU BECAME THE THING SHE HATED...... AND DIED BECAUSE OF IT.....
MIU BECAME THE THING SHE HATED AND DIED BECAUSE OF IT..............
MIU BECAME THE THING SHE HATED AND IT GOT HER KILLED AND KAITO HESITATED THE ONE TIME BECAUSE OF HOW HE ACTUALLY RESPECTS HIS SISTER AND CARES ABOUT HER
THE ONE FUCKING TIME HE HESITATES IN PROTECTING HER....... THE O N E TIME..... THE ONE TIME HE LISTENS TO HER. SHE DIES.
GAH FUCKING HELL THIS GAME!!!!!!!! FUCK THIS!!
#maxposting#digimon survive#digimon survive spoilers#MIUUUUUUUUUUU :(#hits that much harder bc i relate so so so hard to miu#her trauma is almost the exact same as mine...... her family 'looked at her like she did something wrong.' exactly the same as mine.#the poor girl thinking the overprotectiveness is kaito turning against her..... its not baby its not... his problem is his secondhand ptsd#from almost fucking killing a man. for her. because shes his sister and god forbid anyone hurts his sister. especially like that.#man.... ill admit that when he slapped her i was about to smack him myself but their story felt so so so real to me....#and i remember at mius age. when i was punished in the same way#with that overprotectiveness and isolation. even if it wasnt meant to be a punishment it still fucked me up more.#but kaito just wants to stop his sisters suffering. thats all he wants. thats why he cares so much and why hes so so protective like that.#because last time his sister was on her own. she was raped. so he refuses to let it happen again....#fucking MAN#this GAME#holds the cast sm#whoops the tags got SUPER PERSONAL let me just#rape tw#child rape tw
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of course my mom is trying to guilt me into staying, by using her tears 😑
#.txt#i don’t care anymore#this has been my whole life#she cries and i have to take the abuse because i have to be the bigger person#i’m done doing that#i refuse to sacrifice my mental health and sanity for others#i am no longer being the ‘bigger person’#i am not keeping the peace to please others and make them comfortable#this is just a big middle finger to me and my healing path#i WANT to heal and she won’t let with keeping me in this house#and not letting me break this cycle of toxicity#i want to finally be free#i wanna stop being in survival mode#i want to be able to feel safe in my OWN space#i want to be able to love myself#i want to heal and possibly be a mother#i don’t want my child to suffer like me#no child deserves that#i didn’t deserve it#this should’ve never been okay#why was i not protected when i was supposed to be#i deserve a healthy and safe environment/life
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🦝 kennedy music taste features!
#» 🦝 ﹕ respect the extra-strength hairspray budget. (visuals.) ❧#just some tunes i was listening to and smacked down on a template#some reminded me of certain character relationships so i labelled those as well :)#gale song is for claire but has some reference to steve burnside in it#and sherry's adorable but i refuse to believe there weren't some points that she and leon clashed on occasion as it's only human and leon#was an only child himself with very little experience around children?#sherry grieving her parents too..#so that's the intention behind that choice#and chris's is mainly set around re6 and has some reference to bringing piers home bc i refuse to accept his death#ada's is just from the viewpoint of leon acknowledging the relationship is toxic and wishing he could get out of it but.#ultimately just not being able to because of his own stubborn care for her
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One of the most gut punching things that has happened in 2023 so far is my childhood best friend of maybe 15+years who knows very well that I self-harm coming to me for advice how to deal with it for some random girl, despite never asking how to help me
#the way my body suddenly became cold when I read the text and realized they really don't give a fuck about me#and I feel bad for feeling anything negative towards the girl#especially since she's a minor#but my 'friend' still refuses to tell the girls parents because 'she can't break her trust🥺'#tf the girl is a child! and she needs a professional care! tell her parents so they can provide it#that shit won't go away on its own#anyway i relapsed 3 times in the last 3 days ✌😘#at least im not breaking skin this time instead i hit myself until i bruise which is quite the feat since i don't bruise easily#the named the big bruise on my arm 'bruce the bruise'#i think it's hilarious#but overall idk how i feel about hitting myself bacause it doesn't take the itch away completely like cutting or scratching#but it's way easier to hide it and if discovered to lie about it which is big plus and it goes away after few days#which is both a blessing and a curse#tw self harm#vent
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bro I fucking hate my gut reaction to be sad and miss the people who hurt me. like, yeah, they were my best friend for years, but not only did they do the exact thing my previous best friend did to me knowing how much that hurt me and fucked me up, but very little of it was actually healthy or even like. nice. it sucked. the last entire fucking year of our “friendship” I was literally in a constant state of anxiety and panic because of their shitty behavior and their girlfriend’s shitty behavior that they fucking enabled. I don’t miss them!!!!! I literally don’t!!! the week after I cut them off I FINALLY relaxed!!!! it was like my entire body had finally uncurled from a fist!!!!! I was no longer suicidal, I was no longer crying every other day, and I finally felt SAFE and secure IN MY OWN APARTMENT. before, I was constantly on edge, paranoid, and ACTIVELY suicidal. I was in a constant state of freeze and fawn as a fear response. I’m not FIXED, by any means, I’m still struggling with shit, but it’s been literal YEARS since I’ve been this peaceful. holy fuck.
#i can recognize that my bpd was making my situation much worse but i was CONSTANTLY being open and communicating to them#and never fucking once did i get that same respect in return#i was treated like a literal fucking chauffer and the only time they fucking spoke to me was to either gush about their gf#who was actively being a huge fucking asshole to me#or bitch about their mommy and daddy and oh how hard it is to have health issues they were actively ignoring#when. lol. at the time they were covered medically by both parents and i had not had health insurance in like? two ish years? lol.#there were so many other fucking things but like that was the biggest thing that stuck with me aside from the emotional manipulation L M A O#and their fucking gf CONSTANTLY comparing me to her abusive father???? out of nowhere???? would just randomly fucking#literally compare me to him when i would say i liked a thing or even if she just observekd something about me like what the actual fuck???#literally on 5 seperate occasions she did this#girl you would throw a fucking fit if i had done anything even vaguely resembling that to you why the fuck did you feel the need to do that#dont project your fucking daddy issues onto me especially when you're literally two fucking years older than me get a fucking grip#anyway i think sometimes my brain is missing the FP version my bpd created of them in my head#because i miss aspects of them that RARELY if ever toward the end occured. like yknow. giving a shit about me. being there for me#or yknow not literally emotionally manipulating me for your own benefit/amusement lol#i sometimes wonder if theyll ever recognize thats exactly what they were doing whether they want to admit it to themself or not but like.#i dont care??? i realized it. so i dont really give a fuck if they ever do because?? what does that do for me?? lol??#but ive also realized that even if they hadnt been toxic as hell to me that it wouldve ended anyway because both of them despite being older#refused to grow the fuck up and mature or even like. learn. lol. they were so content to just stay the same meanwhile#i had actual responsibilities so i didnt really get the luxury of continuing to pretend to be a child lol#they just liked the attention and the benefits they got from me being an actual adult. they could use me to continue being children#theres not even anything wrong with not wanting to grow up like. if i didnt literally have to i probably wouldnt have either but.#idk you dont have to literally take advantage of the people in your life who HAVE to mature so that you can keep being a kid#sometimes. coping mechanisms. are bad.#anyway rant over dont mind me i had coffee with an expresso shot and havent slept after my 12hr shift#so that's partially what's fueling this post ngl#still all entirely true though dont misunderstand me on that one#mud rambles#for blacklisting purposes ->#rant
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