#remember how I said relationships can get bumpy?

[jeeaark]

Alright. So. I'm not making this triangle conclusion because I like triangles

But because it's the only. the only conclusion I could make

For the morning after. After noticing Babe-

YOU'D THINK it'd go that Lae'zel and friends would never find out because even though I wanted to tell Lae'zel, A SHAME IT DIDN"T GIVE ME THE OPTION. A SHAME THE GAME WANTED ME TO KEEP THIS A DANG SECRET FROM MY TEAM AND JUST HAVE SOME SIMPLE-ASS INTERNAL CONFLICT.

But ohnononono, this magical patch 0 playthrough had other plans. Because for some reason. Babe was talking like we were in ACT 1 again. Babe became a killer coconut again

Babe knew. BABE KNEW ABOUT LAST NIGHT. AND BABE WAS CRANKY (understandably so of course)

And yet. Babe was also still allowing kisses. so. not. not OVER. BABE STILL LOVED THIS IDIOT HALF-ORC.

So. I could only conclude this. This is why.

and totally not because apparently it was a glitch (that they now fixed) all along pff

SO. Maybe just. This once. With this Tav. This playthrough. A Godsdamn Love Triangle friggin' happened alfdjkkasdj

Bonus (Because Greygold had to tell somebody):

[leviismybby]

"Pregnant?" Connie's mouth drops as you and Levi make the announcement. You kept your pregnancy a secret for long enough and your belly was starting to show too much, they would've figured it out anyway. Sasha stops eating, her eyes go wide, Jean next to her tries not to smile, he definitely wants to say something inappropriate. Before he gets the chance to, Armin speaks. "Congratulations captain and name!" He smiles at both of you. The tension at the table was awkward as you knew that some of them didn't even know you and Levi were dating.

Mikasa doesn't say anything but you can see the slight smile on her face meanwhile Eren looks like he is having some sort of flashbacks. "Congrats." He says, his green eyes shifting from his food to your belly, which makes you question a few things but you smile back and nod your head at him. "You know Captain for humanity's strongest soldier you sure don't know how to pull-ow!" Sasha stomps on Connie's foot under the table and Jean laughs. "Be mature for once will you!" The brunette says to him with her mouth full of food. Levi rolls his eyes at the banter, he really didn't want to tell them. It's not because he doesn't trust them but he thinks that it's safer for you and your baby if less people knew.

"You're the one to talk! Your mouth is full of food." Connie bites back at Sasha and she just continues to eat. Mikasa turns to you. "Congratulations. I still don't know how you keep up with him." She says, her and Levi did have a bumpy relationship but you know that she doesn't mean it in a bad way. "Well now I will have to keep up with two..." You chuckle. "Can we name it?" Jean asks. "Absolutely not." Levi doesn't even let him think about it. "And from now I want you all to be careful around name, is that clear?" They all nod at Levi's command.

"It's a boy." Eren says, he has been awfully quiet since you said that you were expecting a child, the whole table turned to look at him. "I mean, I think it's going to be a boy." He says, looking down at his food. Sasha shakes her head. "Nuh uh, it's definitely a girl!" They all start to place bets and Levi sighs, he whistles to get their attention. "You're not betting on a the gender of my fucking child. Now, after breakfast, I want to see all of you train extra hard understood?" "Yes, captain!" They all say in unison, Armin sheepishly looks at you. "I agree with Eren, I think it's a boy. I read that boys leave all the beauty to the mother and you're glowing Name." You smile at him, Armin always was sweet, well most of the time.

"Right, can you guys please keep this a secret? We don't want everyone to know." It's a simple request that leaves your mouth. They all nod, this went better than you thought it would, most of them are happy but Eren's reaction lingers at the back of your mind. "Listen when the little Ackerman terror is born, can I be the godfather?" That's a question that throws Levi off guard, especially since Jean asked it. "No, I want to be the godfather! That baby deserves someone fun as the godfat-" "Neither of you." Levi says, pinching the area between his eyes. "Now, off to training." Standing up one by one they all make their way outside, Mikasa approaches you. "If you need anything you can let me know." She says and you can't help but smile at her. "Thank you, Mikasa."

As the room clears, Levi turns to you. "I am surprised that none of them asked how kids are made." Laughing at these words, you shake your head. "They are all 17-18, Levi. They know all too well by now." You can still remember how traumatized Eren and Mikasa were when they found out, to your surprise, that Armin knew despite his two confused best friends. "Yeah well, all of them are still brats." He kisses your temple and then your belly. "I'll see you two later." He gives you a quick kiss before heading out to training. Your hand goes down to your belly and you rub the bump, in this time of war and hardship, a baby will surely bring at least a bit of happiness into it all.

[cutielando]

the smooth operation ~ carlos sainz

Summary: You reminisce about the start of your relationship with Carlos, which he likes to call "the smooth operation."

Words: 1.1k+

Other works: my masterlist

♡♡♡♡♡

Present

"Remember when we first met?" you randomly asked Carlos as you were laying on the couch together, watching the new season of the Formula 1 Netflix documentary.

"I do, why?" he asked, confused.

"Just thinking about how far we've come" you shrugged, snuggling further into his warm chest.

"I did make you a deal that you just couldn't refuse. The Smooth Operation of Carlos Sainz was a success" he proudly stated, making you laugh.

"That was the farthest thing from smooth, mi amor" you said between giggles, watching his now offended face.

"How dare you, I was the smoothest gentleman ever" he tried to sound serious but you knew he was trying to hold in his laughter as well.

"Whatever you say, amor"

"Do you remember when...?"

♡♡♡♡♡

Flashback ~ 4 years prior

The paddock was busier than you ever expected. If you thought the teams looked busy on the livestreams and TV, it was nothing compared to real life.

"Hello, can I help you?" a red-haired woman snapped you out of your thoughts, looking at you with a confused face as to why you were in the Ferrari garage.

"Sorry, my name is Y/N, I'm the PR intern. I was supposed to find-"

"Me. You were supposed to find me. Welcome aboard, Y/N. Buckle up, this is going to be a bumpy drive" she said and motioned for you to follow her.

You took one last glance at the busy garage full of engineers back and forth before you followed the woman. 

Having been so focused on not getting lost, you didn't even realize where you were going which led to you crashing into a very toned body. You would've fallen had the stranger not caught you.

"Careful there, Miss" the strong Spanish accent spoke in your ear, instantly making your eyes widen.

You could've recognized that voice in a million, the accent making it obvious. You had just crashed into Carlos Sainz, the Ferrari driver.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't watch where I was going" you excused yourself once you stood on your two feet, finally looking up into his warm chocolate brown eyes.

"I haven't seen you around here" he noted, his expression cutely confused.

"I'm the PR intern. I was supposed to follow this red-haired woman down to her office but I lost sight of her and now I don't know where I'm supposed to go" you smiled sheepishly, making Carlos chuckle and nod.

"I can take you there, come on" he put a hand on the small of your back and started walking with you.

He didn't realize it, but his hand on your back was making you lose your mind. THE Carlos Sainz was actually talking to you. No, he was TOUCHING you.

You could've fainted at that alone.

"You don't have to, I'm sure you're busy with other stuff. I'll manage on my own" you hurried to say, knowing he most probably had better things to do than parade around with you.

"Nonsense, it would be my pleasure" he explained, flashing you a big smile as you continued to walk through the garage.

After a minute, you stopped in front of an office, and you could see the woman you had talked to earlier sitting at her desk and talking to someone on the phone.

"Thank you for showing me around" you said, turning to face him.

"No need to thank me, it was my pleasure. I'll see you around" he said and leaned in, kissing your cheek before walking away.

Your face was red as the Ferrari colors, your cheeks were warm and your eyes were wide, staring at the spot where he last stood.

You reached down and pinched yourself, making sure that what just happened wasn't all in your imagination.

♡♡♡♡♡

Flashback - 4 years ago, 2 weeks after meeting

Your belly hurt because of how much you had been laughing, Carlos following suit.

He had asked you out for dinner a couple of days prior after he had won a race, and you didn't have the heart to refuse him and celebrating his win with him.

"I don't remember the last time someone made me laugh so much" you said once your laughter died down, the smile still prominent on your face.

"I could say the same, it's been a while since I've been out with someone" he confessed, leaning back in his chair.

You admired him for a moment, taking in his beautiful facial features, admiring the way his white shirt hugged his toned body, the way his hair looked so soft and fell so beautifully on his eyes.

In your opinion, he looked just like Prince Eric from the Little Mermaid, your favorite childhood story.

"You're an amazing man, Carlos" the words rolled off your tongue before you could even realize what you were saying.

The smile that appeared on his lips was so radiant, making you feel all fuzzy on the inside knowing you were the one who caused it.

"You're the most wonderful person I have ever met" he took your hand that was resting on the table and brought it to his lips, kissing it lovingly.

Your eyes were stuck on his, a subtle blush coating your cheeks.

Before the night ended, Carlos walked you to your hotel room where you were staying, wanting to make sure you got there safely.

"I had a wonderful time tonight" you confessed once you stopped at your hotel room door, leaning back against it.

"Me too. I hope we can do it again" he proposed, making your heartbeat quicken and your palms sweaty.

"What will the team think of this? I practically work for you, this goes against work ethics. They'd make us stop seeing each other" you wondered out loud, the question having been nagging at you ever since you agreed to go out with him.

"They wouldn't and they won't. If they see we are happy together, they will leave us alone. Plus, they know better than to piss me or Charles off. We could walk away any time, they wouldn't risk it" he explained, making you bite your lips and chuckle.

"Okay then" you said and leaned up, pecking his lips slightly before hurriedly opening your door and stepping inside the room.

Once inside, you rested your back against the door and bit your lips, trying to suppress the stupid smile that was fighting its way to your lips.

♡♡♡♡♡

Present

"We've come a long way since then" you commented as you found yourself back in the arms of the man you love, smiling at all the memories.

"We have. And the future is only just beginning" he said and kissed your head, burying his face in your hair.

Maybe your relationship wasn't the most perfect all the time, but it was yours, and you wouldn't trade it for the world.

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[sabo-has-my-heart]

Hello! This is the last anon who sent in an emergency request regarding my boyfriend and I, and sorry this is pretty late but I’d love to see both sides ! Don’t pressure yourself though and have an amazing day💗 (sorry if this sounds rushed it’s bc it kinda is)

Hey! so here's part 1 of the Law request, the... uh, happy ending? I suppose. you did say HCs in the original request, so that's what I did. Sorry it took so long, alone time in a house with 3 people + myself is hard. Especially when 2 of them are disabled (3 disabled people in one house 😖)

Warnings: violence, arguments, regret, talk of unsafe situations

Word Count: 850 

A relationship with Law is going to be difficult.

It can still be healthy if you work at it, but the man doesn’t strike me as the type to be terribly open about his feelings or past.

So it’s going to take some time for him to open up to you.

He also strikes me as the type to waaaay overwork himself. (I don’t remember them outright stating that he overworks himself, but I can totally see him being a workaholic).

The beginning of your relationship was… bumpy.

Frequent arguments about him overworking.

Frequent arguments about how he never talked to you about anything.

You got through to him eventually, but it took quite a bit of time.

We’ve seen Law fight, we know he’s not exactly a pacifist.

That being said, he’s not particularly violent either.

He’s also usually pretty calm and level headed (Doflamingo excluded)

So for him to hit you, holy shit!

It’s not that either of you was being particularly unreasonable, just that things got a little too heated.

Instant regret!

But it’s Law so he doesn’t apologize easily.

You open up to friends (who aren’t the Heart Pirate Crew) who are very displeased with Law.

They (probably) weren’t exactly happy that he was a pirate in the first place.

But now he’s hit you?

Nope, they want you away from him!

So you’re torn between your love for Law and your need to make others happy.

You do eventually talk to the Heart Pirate crew. (Of course you do, you live on the ship with them)

Many of them are kind of on the fence about the whole thing. 

After all, it’s their captain, they love him, they trust him, he means a lot to them. But he did hit you.

Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin are, of course, Law’s biggest supporters. 

Totally keep telling you to talk things out again, their captain regrets it.

You two do start talking it out again but try harder to remain calm and see each other’s point of view.

It’s not easy for either of you.

After a lot of talking and a lot of effort, you both get your points across, sort of. 

He understands you’re just worried about him and you sort of understand why he’s overworking himself.

I mean, he’s a captain and a doctor, it’s practically inevitable that he’s going to overwork himself… plus it’s Law, his definition of relaxation is probably organizing his coin collection (for the hundredth time).

You do give him a second chance, it’s just a part of who you are to do so. 

He, oddly enough, tells you to stop being such a people pleaser after you tell him about what your friends and family said.

“Don’t break up with me because that’s what they want. Break up with me because you’re unhappy with me.”

He realizes this means that you could very well leave him one day because you weren’t trying to make someone else happy by staying with him, but Law is a good guy.

He might be a pain in the neck, but he really does want you to be happy.

Even if it’s not with him.

Because if you’re not happy with him, he screwed up and he needs to take responsibility for that. 

Whether it’s changing to be a better man or living with the fact that you left him. 

I think he’d try and change for you, but personal opinions.

I mean, you managed to get Law to fall in love with you, the man will probably go to the ends of the earth for you.

Law totally makes sure to keep himself in check from then on.

He will not hit you again.

If, by chance, he does hit you again, he will literally send you back home himself.

Like, you gave him a second chance and he betrayed that.

Clearly you aren’t safe with him and he doesn’t deserve a third. 

Tries 10x harder to keep himself in check, like, he really doesn’t want a repeat of what happened. He doesn’t even want anything close to what happened.

Despite being standoffish and quiet, I really do think that if he’s in a healthy, loving relationship, he’s going to do anything for you….

Well, almost anything. He’s still Law, there are some things that just aren’t going to happen. 

In private, he frequently asks if he’s scared you recently or if you feel unsafe with him or anything. 

If you don’t feel comfortable talking to him about it, he’ll have one of the crew talk to you about it.

Will absolutely change or send you home if you don’t feel comfortable. 

If it’s just a matter of being uncomfortable, he’ll try and change things to make you more comfortable.

But if you’re afraid or anything, he’ll send you home until either A) he can do better, B) you’re no longer afraid of him, or C) you leave him.

I really do see him as a good guy, just because he’s not public about it, I think he’s a very good person.

[lefluoritesys]

TW: mentions of breakdowns, nightmares, doctors, sickness & injury, panic attacks.

I realized what I want.

I want to get ice cream with my friends and laugh at funny stories we remember while eating it.

I want to go on long road trips, sit in the car, talk and listen to music. Doesn't even matter if we don't do the latter, we can sit quietly too, think about our own thing, and still appreciate each other's company.

I want to go to an amusement park with my friends and for the first time ever not feel agoraphobic.

I want to curl up in a blanket in my nest near my found family and have them cuddle me, give me scritches, tell me how much they love me, whisper soft reassurances, kiss my head, play with my hair, and coo over me the entire night. Also spooning. How could we or anybody turn down spooning?

I want to cry my eyes out in the bathroom, only to be picked up and told I'm not alone, will never be alone again, and walked through the breakdown.

I want to wake up from a nightmare, only to be pulled closer, shushed and lulled back to sleep by my found family and/or my partner, who I know would be there for me. I want to be told I'm not there anymore, and I will not be alone again, so it's okay. I'm safe, and loved, and cared for. There is nothing that can get me now.

I want to be on the phone with our bio family, and when they tell me some horrible shit, have my found family and/or my partner step in and tell them off for me, because we're too scared to do it ourselves.

I want to refuse any affection from my found family and/or my partner and still be given it because truth is, I'm simply scared of it being taken away, and I truly, fully want it. I want them to make me believe I deserve it again.

I want to be spoiled and have my caregivers make me regress because they try their best to help us heal our childhood trauma.

I want somebody to prove to me that the only reason I don't like physical touch from people is because I haven't been touched by the right people.

I want to feel irreplaceable. I want to feel like the most precious thing in this entire world. Not because I'm helpful or smart, but because I'm me, whoever that might be.

I want to have movie nights and not have to be scared of somebody getting mad at me for stepping away or getting distracted.

I want to get sushi at 2 in the morning because I can, and nobody protesting against it, but rather encouraging, and throwing some fries and pizza on top.

I want to have nothing said to me if I forget a pad in the bathroom, or accidentally stain the sheets. I want to be treated with respect for having cravings and cramps. I want to be taken to a doctor for them and be held and reassured that I'll be safe.

I want to be given many compliments for our body despite any imperfections it might have. I want to have my found family and my partner look at my scars and kiss them, saying how beautiful they are and how lovable they make me.

I want to cry from how overwhelming their love feels.

I want to be forced to take care of my physical health, whether I'm sick or injured, and be taken care of.

I want to be forced to take care of my mental health, even if that means dragging me kicking and screaming, because my found family and partner worry about me, and they know, deep down, that I want to heal, I am simply scared.

I want to be walked through a panic attack and be held afterwards. I want them to make me food and tea and distract me by making me laugh.

I want to go on bumpy cars with my found family and have us target each other the entire time, laugh, and spend like an hour driving around at each other.

I want to be happy.

And screw everybody who made me feel like all of this wasn't how a normal, healthy relationship was supposed to go. Because this is what I was supposed to be given ever since my life started, our life started. And anybody who isn't giving me the opportunity to grow, be myself, do what I want, while loving and supporting me, can get out of my life.

-Host

[seokmattchuus]

Sober - Optional Bias

A/n: I don’t know what this is but like, here you go. Not sure if I proofread this well enough, I be stressed out.

You had a love-hate relationship with drinking. You usually only did it when you were stressed, but you hated how you could never shut the fuck up once you started rambling.

“Please~ I wanna stay~~” You whined over the music as you held onto his arm, your eyes trying their best to muster a pleading look.

“Y/n, you really don’t need any more drinks.” He sighed, taking your arms in his as he tried to pull you with him. 

“Why not~” You pouted up at him, batting your lashes in an attempt to get him to change his mind. 

“Because I’m in charge of you and if you have one more drink, guess whose problem you’re going to be?” He smiled sweetly at you, a direct contradiction to the words he just said. 

But the look in his eyes had you complying. How could you say ‘no’ when he smiled at you like that.

“And what do I get if I agree?” You challenged, still pouting, but you weren’t really that upset. As long as you left together, maybe it wouldn’t be too bad.

“I’ll buy you hangover soup in the morning. Just the way you like it.” He laughed lightly as your eyes lit up at the mention of food. "Now, c'mon," He paused as he fixed his hold on you to keep you up. "Let's get you in the car."

-

The drive home had you wishing you hadn't had more than five drinks. Was the road always this bumpy? Were there always this many turns?

"Slow down," You whined, a small gag following the statement.

"We're not even in the car." He laughed lightly. "You fell asleep after a while and when we got here, you wouldn't wake up, so I carried you to your bed."

Through your drunken haze, you didn't believe him. Your arms reached out, patting around you and feeling the softness of your blankets.

"If you're feeling dizzy, though, you're probably gonna puke." He pointed out. "Would you like the restroom, or a trash can?"

"I'm not gonna puke." You mumbled a protest. "I just wanna sleep."

"And if you puke in your sleep?" He raised a brow.

"I'm not~" You whined. "If I was gonna puke, I wouldn't feel so cold." You stated matter-of-factly.

"Fine." He reluctantly gave in. "But you need to let me know if you feel like throwing up, okay?" He said softly. "I'll be in the living room, just call out."

"Or you could stay here, just in case I can't call out in time." Your voice was low, your previous sleepiness coming back.

“Yeah, yeah,” He smiled down at you as he tucked you in. "We both know you're just too lazy." He shook his head as he shifted back, but your arm came out to grab at his before he could get up.

“I meant it,” You mumbled, your voice soft. “Stay.” You tugged him towards you, the scent of his cologne making you want nothing more than to snuggle into him.

You meant it more than him being on simple puke-watch. It was the first time he'd stayed over in a while, and you wanted to make the best of it. Even if it meant pretending you couldn't remember it that well tomorrow.

He didn't pull away and you took the chance to pull him down next to you, your arms sneaking around his waist in the way you always wanted to.

His fists clenched at his side as your arms wrapped around him. Why were you making this so hard for him? Why couldn’t you just go to sleep?

“At least stay until I fall asleep.” You pouted, realizing you were probably making him uncomfortable.

It took everything in him to not say what he really wanted to. How he'd stay all night if it meant he got to wake up with your head on his chest. Instead, he placed a hand in your hair, slightly scratching it, and giving you a small 'hm' in agreement.

To him, you would never see him the way he saw you. You would never say this if you weren’t drunk. He’d be taking advantage if he stayed but he didn’t have the heart to tell you ‘no’.

And to you, he would never see you the way you saw him. Your petty excuses to spend time with him were running out. He'd see through it eventually, but you really couldn't help it.

“I’ll stay on the couch after you fall asleep, okay?” He was lying and he knew it. In the morning, he'd pretend he had fallen asleep while waiting.

His voice calmed you as he finally settled into your hold, his free arm wrapping around you in hopes of locking the memory in.

The way your hands laid on his chest made you feel at home. Be it your drunken self getting cozy or the way he actually felt comfortable, you hummed to yourself in delight.

And he couldn't be happier with you wanting him to stay. How your fist closed lightly, trapping his shirt in your hold. He felt brave enough to pull you closer, his head leaning down to place itself on top of yours.

Maybe it wasn’t how you wanted it to happen, and maybe he'd never speak up, but he felt more comfortable with the thought of doing so as you snuggled into him. He closed his eyes, a single thought repeating in his head to tell himself he wasn't going crazy.

Drunk words are sober thoughts.

[turtle-mama]

Disclaimer!

This is 100% a self-indulgent fan-fiction with my own OC, lots of angst, mental and physical triggers, and is for my own personal enjoyment as well as my sister's enjoyment. You can read it if you want, obviously CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcome. Anything that is empty hate will be ignored. This is also written AFTER the movie! So if you have not watched the movie yet, there are spoilers.

Okay. You have been warned properly. If you want to read, buckle up buttercup. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Part 1:

Raph swung his legs over the edge of the warehouse, staring out at the bustling city. So much has happened in the past year. Some good memories, some too painful to recall. He began to have flashbacks to the Krang destruction. He could still feel the tentacles infusing into his brain to get to the lair, the feeling of being corrupted. Most of all, the feeling of being a monster himself. He swallowed hard at the ingrained memory of his family’s faces as he brutally attacked them. His eyes grew hot as tears began to form, remembering the punches he threw at them. How he hit Leo and liked it. 

“He deserved it.” a distorted voice echoed, “You should have hurt them more.”

“Not again.” Raph closed his eyes.

“You know they deserved it. It felt good to hurt them.”

“N-no! I… I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to!”

“But you did, and you liked it!”

“S-stop it!” he placed his shaking hands on his head, trying to shut out the voice. “Leave me alone! I didn’t want to hurt them!”

Suddenly, like a ray of light diminishing the darkness, a soft hand placed itself gently on his shoulder. Raph jolted back to reality. His head swiveled as his eyes met Rina’s concerned stare. Her grip tightened as his tear-stained face broke her heart.

“Mi Amor?” she bent down to his side, wiping away his fallen tears. “You’re crying?”

Raph wiped the rest of his tears away, trying to fix his brave face.

“I-I just had a little dust in my eye.” he forced a smile. “That’s all. I’m fine.”

Rina pressed her lips and raised an eyebrow, not believing his lie for a second. “So who didn’t you want to hurt?”

Raph’s smile faded as he turned away from her. He realized now he had been caught. Releasing a heavy sigh, feeling ashamed for lying to her and letting his problems show.

“How much did you hear?” He whispered, refusing to look at her.

“I only heard you say ‘I didn’t want to hurt them.’” she sat down next to him, sliding her hand down to his. 

Raph smiled gently, softly grasping her hand. He began to stroke it with his thumb, bringing back the happy memories to overcome the bad ones. Rina moved closer, pressing her body as close to him as possible. 

“Cariño.” she began again using her other free hand to turn his head gently to look at her. Raph moved his head to appease her but would not look her directly in the eye.“What’s going on with you? You haven’t been yourself for a few weeks, and you seem to be getting angrier and angrier.”

Raph let out a heavy sigh, afraid to tell her the truth. His grip tightened on her hand as he felt the tears come back.

When Rina didn’t get an answer, she continued to press more. “You haven’t been sleeping well, have you?” she noticed the exhaustion in his glossed eyes. “Don’t lie, I can see it. Please tell me, is something bothering you?”

He kept quiet but, he felt it grow harder not to talk to her. He knew she wouldn’t stop badgering him if he didn’t say anything. But how could he tell his love that he got enjoyment from hurting his brothers? 

“Raph, please.” she tried once more. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’ll be fine,” he finally spoke. “I just have some things to figure out. I don’t want to bring you into my problems.”

“Raph, that’s what a relationship is all about. We help each other when they are hurting.”

“I’m fine, Rina. Please.” Raph could feel his anger begin to grow.

“Will you stop lying to me?” Rina growled back. “Just tell me-!”

“I SAID I’M FINE!” He shot up from the ledge, letting go of her.

Raph began to walk away before he did something he would regret. Rina sat in shock for a moment, processing the first time Raph ever yelled at her. She furrowed her eyebrows in determination, standing up after him. She wasn’t going to let him go so easily.

“You’re not fine, Raph.” her voice grew cold. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have yelled at me. What is going on with you?”

“What part of I’m fine don’t you get?!” He turned back to her. “I don’t want to talk about it! I can’t talk about it! Because if I do,  the one person who truly understands me will think I’m a monster!”

Both of them froze in shock. Rina stared at Raph who began to shake from both anger and embarrassment. Raph couldn’t take it anymore. His eyes slammed shut as tears began to fall once again. 

“Who am I kidding?” He fell to his knees. “I am a monster.”

“No.” snapping out of her frozen trance, Rina rushed to his side, placing her hands on his face. “You’re not a monster, Raph. I would never believe such a lie.”

“You would if I told you what I did.” his broken voice pushed out from the tears.

“Try me.” 

Raph closed his eyes once more, finally giving in to her demand.

“You know about the Krang attack on the city and how I got my scar across my eye.” Rina slowly nodded her head in understanding. “Well, when I was corrupted, I never told my brothers this but,” Raph swallowed hard. “I had some self-awareness about what I was doing. I didn’t have control of my body but, I could see them there. When I attacked them I… I.”

Raph began to trail off, the memories flooding back. “I liked it.”

Rina let in a small gasp in disbelief. “You liked it?”

Raph looked up at her, her face blurred out by the gushing tears. “I-I liked hurting them, Rina. Especially Leo. I, I liked hurting him the most. I felt like they deserved it. I felt like Leo deserved it.” His hands covered his face in shame. “I’m a disgusting brother. I don’t deserve to be called their brother.”

Not wanting to hear any more of this nonsense, Rina pulled Raph into her shoulder. One hand went behind his head in comfort while the other gripped onto him for safety. Instantly, Raph grabbed a hold of Rina, wrapping his arms around her as he sobbed. She cradled him, letting a few tears escape her eyes as well. She was relieved he finally told her what had been bothering him for so long. 

Raph began to calm himself down, slowly peeling himself off of Rina. He bowed his head in shame once more. Rina smiled softly, placing her hands on both sides of his face. He let out a sad sigh, bringing one of his hands to hers, and pressing it gently to remember her touch. She ran her fingers over his scar, smiling softly.

“Now, you listen to me,” she spoke. “You are not a monster, Raphael. You couldn’t be farther from it. You weren’t in control and it wasn’t you that enjoyed hurting them. That was the Krang making you believe you liked it. You sacrificed yourself for your family. You are the kindest, sweetest, loving mutant I have ever met. That will never change no matter what happens.”

Raph sniffled letting his lips curl into a sweet smile. “How did I get so lucky?”

“By just being you, amor.” Rina stood up helping him off the ground. “You should talk to your brothers about this.”

Raph’s eyes widened. “No! They can’t know. I don’t want to tell them any of this. Promise me you won’t say anything.”

“Raph I,”

“Promise me, Rina!”

Rina looked away from him, biting her bottom lip. She went back and forth about her final decision, her morality telling her to be loyal to Raph’s wishes and knowing the boys deserve to know their brother is hurting. She looked back at Raph’s begging eyes, soft and sweet while also filled with regret.

“Okay,” she sighed, finally giving in to him, “I promise.”

A smile of relief formed across his face. He reached out for her once more, embracing her softly. A loose tear escaped his eye, feeling some relief he told Rina what had been bothering him. 

“Thank you.” He whispered.

His embrace weakened as his hand cupped around Rina’s cheek. She still felt unsure about her decision, wondering if this would come back to bite the both of them. Raph sighed softly, pressing his lips to hers, offering comfort. The kiss only lasted for a few seconds. Their eyes met once more, staring lovingly.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” Raph brushed her cheek softly.

“It’s okay, mi amor.” She smiled back. “We tend to make bad choices when we’re going through pain like that. It makes you human.”

Suddenly, a wave of exhaustion swept over Raph, letting out a repressed yawn. Rina giggled at his tiredness, rubbing his sides.

“When was the last time you slept?” her eyebrow raised.

Trying to recall, Raph looked up at the sky, not even sure what day it was. “Um, that depends. What’s today?”

Rina let out a harsh sigh, shaking her head. “Okay, to bed with you mister.”

“I-I don’t know how well I’ll be able to sleep. The nightmares keep getting stronger.”

An idea popped into Rina’s head. One that let Raph finally get some rest and she could keep an eye on him.

“How about I stay over tonight?” She smiled brightly.

“But what about Coraline?” Raph blinked away his exhaustion.

“Our Abuela is visiting and she’s taking care of her right now. I don’t think she would mind.”

Raph let out another sleepy yawn, slowly losing his balance. Rina steadied him, letting out a soft giggle. She placed one of his arms around her shoulder as she pressed herself against his side. The two began to make their way back to the lair slowly. The walk back was peaceful. Raph tried desperately to stay awake, while Rina was just happy he was relying on her. Usually, he likes to play tough guys and not admit when he needs help. Of course, it wasn’t his fault. It was in his programming to always be the strong one. The one who takes care of everyone. Rina understood him in that aspect. It’s tough being the oldest and having so much responsibility placed on your shoulders. 

When they reached the lair, both of them noticed an unfamiliar silence. Raph could feel himself begin to worry, wondering why his brothers didn’t greet him when he walked in the door. With a slight reassuring hug, Rina looked up at him, flashing a calming smile. 

As they walked farther in, the sight of Mikey and Leo sound asleep on the couch greeted them. Letting out a sigh of relief, Raph smiled at the two of them spread out on the couch. 

“I should wake them up.” Raph began to let go of Rina.

She tugged on his arm, causing him to turn back in slight confusion. Shaking her head gently with the never faded smile, she looked over at the two of them.

“Let me take care of them,” she whispered. “You need to get some rest.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am, now go.”

Nodding in agreement, Raph let go of Rina’s hand, walking back towards his room. When he disappeared behind the walkway, Rina looked back to the passed-out brothers. Walking over quietly, she placed her hand on Mikey’s head, giving it a gentle rub. 

“Mikey?” she bent down to his level. “Pequeño, wake up.”

Mikey’s body slowly began to shift as his eyes fluttered open. He moved his head softly to figure out where that loving touch was coming from. He met Rina’s sweet smile causing his smile to form too.

“Oh, hi Rina.” He let out a huge yawn. “When did you get here?”

“Just a few minutes ago,” she whispered, still stroking his head softly. “Why don’t you go to bed, pequeño? The couch isn’t the best place for that.”

“I know. But it sure is comfy.”

“I’m sure it is. Come on. Off to bed with you.”

Letting out a grumpy whine, Mikey slumped his arms over the side of the couch. Rina stood up walking over to Leo. Sound asleep, she shook her head at his sprawled-out position on the couch. She placed her hand on his chest, pushing him back and forth with a bit of force.

“Leo?” She tried to grab his attention. “Leo comes on, you can’t sleep on the couch.”

Scrunching his face, Leo opened one eye to see Rina standing over him. Giving a low groan, he placed his hands on his face, giving it a harsh rub.

“Ugh, not another nightmare.” He scoffed. “Don’t I get enough of you during the day?”

Rina rolled her eyes, grabbing his arms. She pulled him up from his position off of the couch and onto the floor. He let out a quick yell before landing on the cold floor. 

“Go to bed, cara de idiota.” She pointed to the open doorway. “Take pequeño with you..”

“Okay, okay.” Leo peeled himself off the floor. “You know, sometimes I think you insult me just because I don’t understand you.”

“That is half of the reason.” Rina scowled. 

Leo rolled his eyes and looked over at Mikey who was still half asleep. He grabbed Mikey’s waist, pulling him onto his back. Like a Koala, Mikey gripped his brother’s shoulders, nuzzling his face into his back.

Content with herself, Rina watched Leo drag himself and Mikey back to their rooms. She wondered how Raph keeps them in line so well. That’s half the reason he’s so tired all the time. Especially with Leo. For being the “leader” of the group, his childlike manner shines through too often.

Even though Rina knew Donnie would still be awake, she decided to check on him anyway. She made her way down to his room, noticing it was empty. It was no surprise he wouldn’t be asleep, so she walked down to his lab to see if he was still in there. She didn’t realize that the surprise would be that he wasn’t in his lab either. She began to wonder where he was until she could hear running water in the distance. Following the sound, she came to a door with a crack of light shining through. As well as the running water, soft pained groans came from inside the room. She opened the door slowly to find Donnie vigorously scrubbing his hands. As she got closer, she noticed his hands had red streaks running down. He was scrubbing his hands so hard they started to bleed.

“¡Dios mío!” she muttered. “Donnie, Donnie stop! Your hands!”

“Must,” he sucked air through his teeth, “must get this feeling, off of me.”

He began to dig his nails harder into his skin, making his wounds open more. Rina grabbed onto his wrists, desperately trying to pull his hands apart. He fought with her, keeping his nails dug into his skin. It’s almost as if his hands were locked in place, refusing to let go. 

Finally, she pulled them apart. This broke Donnie from his trance, his breathing grew rapidly as he had been running for his life. His eyes were locked onto his bleeding hands. As he watched the blood drip into the sink, his hands began to shake.

“Donnie,” Rina’s grip softened. “What happened?”

“I- I don’t know.” his voice shook still watching his hands. “I just woke up with this urge to wash my hands. I couldn’t make the feeling go away. It-it’s still there.”

“Breath Donnie.” Rina cooed, turning off the water. “You’re okay. The only thing that’s on your hands is your blood.” 

She reached over for one of his soft cotton towels, wrapping his hands firmly. Feeling the new sensation, Donnie’s tense body began to ease, coming back into reality. Once his hands were secure in the towel, she bent down to his cabinet to receive bandages. When she came back up, Donnie held a blank stare at his hands as if he was waiting for them to fall off. 

“I’m going to take off the towel now.” Rina placed her hand on his. “Close your eyes.”

Donnie nodded softly, closing himself away. 

Gently removing the towel, Rina could see just how badly Donnie scrubbed himself raw. Her heart broke as his hands shook, beginning to bleed again.

“Donnie, how long have you been scrubbing your hands like this?” Rina began to wrap his hands back up with the clean bandages.

“Uh, I’m not sure.” he turned his head to force himself not to look. “What time is it?”

“It’s a little after midnight.”

Donnie grew quiet for a moment. “It’s been 2 hours?”

Rina paused, her eyes moving up to Donnie. “You have been scrubbing your hands like this for 2 hours?!”

“It didn’t start like this. I-I just wanted to…” he began to trail off. “Are you done yet?” 

“Yes,” she tied the last bandage, “I’m done. You can look now.”

Donnie slowly turned his head back, afraid to open his eyes. Rina closed his hands, rubbing her thumb over the back of them.

“Why don’t I go get you some hot water and honey.” She smiled softly. “Would you like that?”

Donnie dropped his shoulders, letting out a relieved sigh. He slowly shook his head, opening his eyes to the floor. Rina opened the bathroom door, leading him out into the hallway. Once they reached his room, she turned down his sheets, allowing him to crawl back into bed.

“I’ll be right back, okay?”

Donnie let out a tired grumble, lifting the blankets over his head. 

As she walked to the kitchen, she passed Mikey’s room. Peaking in slowly, she noticed Leo had dumped Mikey’s tired body onto his hammock. Giving a quick smile, she snuck into his room, pulling the half-off sheets back over his body. Instinctively, he snuggled back into the sheets, giving a content smile. 

Finally getting to the kitchen, she placed a kettle on the stove, waiting for the water to get hot. After taking out a purple mug from one of the cabinets, she walked over to the spice cabinet pulled out a jar of Honey, and from the fridge, she grabbed a lemon slice. She placed a spoonful of honey at the bottom of the mug and squeezed the lemon slice. Once the kettle was finished boiling, she poured the hot water into the mug, giving it a slow stir. 

Rina began her way back, carefully carrying the mug of hot water. Re-entering Donnie’s room, he wasn’t under the blankets like she left him. Now he was sitting up, slowly scratching at his arms. She moved over to his bed, placing one hand on his shoulder. 

Donnie looked over at the mug, moving his hands off of his arms. He grabbed the mug and held it on his lap.

“Are you going to be okay?” Rina watched his fingers tap the rim of the cup.

“I’ll be fine.” Donnie gazed into the liquid.

“I’m staying the night. So if you need me, I’ll be in Raph’s room.”

“Mhmm, sure. Whatever.”

Giving a small sigh, she waved goodnight to Donnie. 

“It has been a little over a year since the Krang attack.” Rina thought on her way back to Raph “I know Donnie was trying to get the feeling of the tentacles off of his body. And with Raph still feeling guilty about hurting the boys, it seems they still haven’t healed from the attack. At least Mikey and Leo seem to be themselves. I don’t think anything could ever change them.”

Reaching Raph’s room, she slowly entered the doorway, finding Raph sound asleep. She felt her heart skip a beat as he lay peacefully. A soft smile formed as she made her way over to him. She crawled up onto his chest, laying down in a fetal position across him. Raph began to move slightly, waking up from his slumber. He looked down to find Rina snuggled against him. He felt his face become warm as he cradled his arms around her. He finally was able to relax. Something about her brought him so much comfort. It was like he didn’t need to worry about anything as long as Rina was around. At least he met her after the Krang attack. That way she never got to see him at his worst.

~~

Wooo! If you made it to the end, *confetti* congratulations!

I'm not sure when and If there will be a part two. I want there to be because there is SOOOOOOO much more angst to unpack here. And I'm not going to lie, I enjoyed writing Donnie's part. I'll get to eventually. But for now, I hope you enjoyed the ride.

[whimsicalworldofme]

Saving Grace: Chapter Twenty-Five

With S.H.I.E.L.D. in disarray and Steve essentially out of work, he agrees to move to NYC to live in Stark Tower, but move-in day doesn't go as smoothly as Grace would've liked.

“You’re sure Tony is ok with this?”

Steve asked as Grace drove them into the city from the airport. It had been a couple weeks since she had told her father about the two of them dating and despite a little distrust over the lying, Tony insisted that his offer for Steve to come live in the tower still stood. When he had gotten back from his trip with Sam, which had proven unsuccessful in finding Bucky, Steve packed up his belongings, hired movers and booked a plane ticket for New York. Now, driving into city, he was getting nervous.

“He said he is,” Grace said. They were holding hands over the console and she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Bruce and Nat both have apartments in the tower now, if he could get a hold of Thor, he’d give him an apartment too.” She glanced over to Steve nearly sweating in the passenger seat. “He’s coming around. It’ll be ok.”

“Mhmm,” he nodded, but didn’t seem convinced.

Grace couldn’t say she blamed him. They had known it would be a bumpy road, telling people about their relationship, specifically Tony, but knowing it would be tough hadn’t adequately prepared them for the reality of it.

“Well look at it this way,” she cast him another smiling glance, “he let the movers in with your stuff without joking about dumping it into the Hudson, so I’d consider that a good sign.”

“I guess I’ll take ambivalence over open hostility,” Steve huffed a laugh and turned his focus out the window.

When they got home, Grace introduced him to the valets and explained to him that he didn’t have to utilize their services but they were more than happy to park whatever he might drive, if he got a car or if he borrowed the Jeep.

“I think I’m going to get a motorcycle,” he told her as she led him by the hand into the residential entrance to the tower. “I swiped one from S.H.I.E.L.D. the day everything went to hell. I forgot how much I loved riding.”

“Oh, I remember seeing newsreels of you riding a motorcycle,” she said wistfully, memories of the images flashing in her mind, remembering how even in the old sepia-tone videos he’d always struck her as remarkably handsome.

“All right,” he snickered and Grace felt herself blush, realizing how obvious she’d been. “I’ll make sure I get one that you can sit on the back of comfortably. We can go for rides upstate.”

“Sounds perfect,” she grinned. “Hi Oscar,” she greeted the guard who came out of the security office to the desk. “Do you have Steve’s keys ready?”

“Yes, ma’am, Dr. Turner,” he nodded, sliding a keycard for the residential door to the building across the desk, and a traditional metal key for his apartment door on top of it. “If you ever lose either, just let us know.”

“Thanks,” Steve pulled his wallet out and tucked both keys into an empty slot, tucking the wallet back into his back pocket.

“All right, come on, I’m so excited to show you your new place.”

She bounced lightly on her feet as she tugged him towards the elevators. Laughing, he followed, allowing her to pull him along. The Stark family penthouse took up the top two floors of the building, and the six floors immediately below were all private residential apartments and facilities that Tony had kept just for the family, up until inviting his Avengers teammates to live there. Grace gave Steve the grand tour, showing him the rec center, which included a gym with every workout machine and weight known to man, a basketball court, and a ridiculously large swimming pool, along with a pair of in ground hot tubs. Then there was the private movie theater and the ice-skating rink.

“Why an ice-skating rink?” Steve asked as they stepped into the elevator to get back down to the floor his apartment was on.  

“Pepper loves it,” Grace smiled and shrugged. “She wanted to be a figure skater when she was a little girl and their first real date, my dad took her ice skating. When he bought this place, he had the rink put in just for her, so she could skate any time she wanted.”

“That’s sweet,” Steve admitted.

“Yeah, you’d never know it if you didn’t know him really well, but my dad’s a big ol’ softy,” she giggled. When she looked at her boyfriend’s face though, she realized he didn’t look surprised so much as upset. “I know it’s a way more lavish living arrangement than what you’re used to,” she suddenly felt a bit embarrassed over the excess in her life. Steve had grown up poor, and Grace hadn’t exactly grown up rich herself, but in the last few years, her life had been insanely privileged, more than she could’ve ever imagined. “I must seem like a spoiled brat right now,” her eyes fell to the floor.

“No, it’s not that, Grace, not at all,” Steve insisted. The elevator dinged and they stepped out into the hallway, an awkwardness between them that hadn’t been there before.

“There they are,” they were interrupted by Tony stepping out of the front door to Steve’s apartment, making them both jump. He looked between them, an odd glint in his eye, but he smiled. “I was just delivering the welcome basket,” he opened the door a little further, letting Steve and Grace into the apartment and pointing at a massive gift basket of gourmet snacks that he’d set on a stack of boxes with the words Living Room written on the sides in black marker. “Gracie, would you mind if I had a word with Rogers out in the hall for a sec?”

“Uh,” Grace looked to Steve who nodded. “Ok, but be nice please.”

“Always with the be nice,” Tony shook his head and clapped a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “C’mon Cap.”

This does not bode well, Grace mused as she watched them go. She waited a moment before creeping to the door and turning on the screen beside it that showed a live video feed of what was happening in the hallway. It was standard in all the apartments in the building. Turning the volume down to the lowest setting so she knew they wouldn’t hear her snooping, she watched, nervous.

“Look, I’m not going to yell at you for keeping your relationship with my daughter a secret,” Tony started and Steve nodded, still clearly guarded. “She’s a grown woman, she can date who she wants and I understand her reasons for keeping your relationship secret.”

“Ok,” Steve said, his tone implicating he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

Tony grabbed Steve by the shoulder again, his fingertips clearly digging painfully into his flesh. Steve didn’t flinch.

“If you ever hurt my daughter, Rogers,” Tony kept his tone friendly in an unnervingly level way that implied a serious threat, his lips set in a stern line, “there is not a single speck of land on this godforsaken earth where you can hide from me.”

“Isn’t the threat of killing your daughter’s boyfriend a little dated?” Steve countered with a smile of his own, not showing any fear, not being rude, trying to keep his mood light so as not to trigger the man opposite him.

“Oh, I won’t kill you.” Grace watched her father’s expression shift from stern to terrifyingly gleeful, a mischievous, evil genius spark in his eye. “No, that’s too easy for you. If you hurt her, I’ll devote every waking moment to creating an antidote to that magic potion my dad pumped you full of a hundred years ago and make sure you turn back into the tiny, insignificant twerp you were.”

“Dad!”

Grace flung the door open, glaring furiously at her father. Poor Steve had clenched his jaw so tight, she thought he might crack a tooth. It wasn’t from anger as much as it was pure pain, hurt from the threat of the one thing he feared most. She stepped between them, her back nearly pressed to Steve.

“Hey, we had this conversation, Grace” Tony said, not looking at her, choosing instead to keep his eyes locked on Steve’s. “It’s my job to protect you and Rogers needs to understand that I won’t tolerate him hurting you.”

“Threatening Steve is not the way to protect me,” she stated firmly. “Apologize. Now.”

Tony faltered under the brunt of his daughter’s commanding rage. It didn’t matter that height-wise she barely came up to their shoulders, she could and would make them cower when necessary.

“Dad,” she snapped and he jumped, having never seen the full extent of her protectiveness before.

“Grace, it’s ok,” Steve laid a hand gently on her shoulder. “He’s just being a dad. I understand. I don’t want to make a big thing out of it.”

“This isn’t making a big thing, this is an appropriate response to inappropriate behavior,” Grace wouldn’t waver. “Dad, you went too far and you know it. You need to apologize.”

Tony’s face fell, his doe eyes looking like they might be on the verge of tears. In the time Grace had been in his life, she’d never spoken to him that way, they had never had a real fight, so she knew this had to hurt him. It hurt her too, but she couldn’t allow him to hurt Steve like that. If they were all going to live in the same building, she couldn’t let her father threatening her boyfriend set the tone.

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking to Steve, his tone genuine and the proper level of chastised. His gaze fell to the floor before lifting back up to Grace. His expression shifted, trying to be joking and jovial while still clearly upset. “I’m sorry, Gracie,” he said. “Still figuring out this whole dad with a daughter who’s dating someone thing.” He shrugged.

“I’d be the same if I had a daughter,” Steve offered an olive branch.

“You have to talk to me about this stuff, ok Dad? We can work through it together. No more ambushing anybody.”

Grace could tell his remorse was real but there was something more there. Seeing her and Steve together, as a couple, had knocked loose some unresolved trauma from Howard’s constant obsession with the super soldier, the constant comparisons to him, the unspoken but often implied wish that Tony could’ve been more like him. Now, Grace realized that for Tony to see her choosing Steve as her romantic partner, he felt like he was losing by comparison again.

He's afraid of losing me to the man whose shadow he could never get out of. Grace felt her heart ache. How did I not realize that before?

Slipping out of Steve’s grasp, Grace walked up to her dad, wrapped her arms around his waist in a hug and laid her head on his chest, snuggling up to him. Tony froze in surprise but soon reciprocated, wrapping his arms around her and kissing the top of her head before resting his head on top of hers.

“It’s going to be ok, Dad,” she murmured. “I promise.”

“Make sure that’s a promise you can keep before you make it,” he said sadly.

“It is,” she gave him a squeeze before going up on her toes and kissing him on the cheek. Taking a step back she laid her hands on his shoulders. “Why don’t you go hit the workshop with Bruce?” She suggested gently. “I told Steve I’d help him unpack and organize.”

“Ok,” Tony nodded and cleared his throat, extending a hand to Steve, who graciously shook it. “Rogers.” He nodded curtly, turned on his heel and headed for the elevator. He paused for a moment, whirled back around and came back down the hall to stop them before they could go into Steve’s apartment. “Listen, Rogers, If you’re feeling up for it, you’re welcome to dinner with the family tonight. Pepper’s making vegan lasagna,” he made a disgusted face to Grace, which made her snort a laugh. “It’s not real cheese, doesn’t taste like it either, but I did order a massive chocolate and cherry cheesecake from a great place for dessert which should counteract it.”

“Sounds good,” Steve chuckled. “Thanks, Tony.”

Tony nodded and wandered back to the elevator as Grace took Steve by the hand, pulling him into his apartment and shutting the door behind them. Slinging her arms around his neck, she looked him in the eye.

“Are you ok?” She asked, seriously worried about the damage her father had done. How he had managed to pinpoint and prick her boyfriend’s deepest insecurity, she didn’t know, but she knew it hit the mark and it had to hurt like hell. “I had no idea he would do that.”

“I’ll be all right,” he assured her, smiling softly, still clearly upset but not wanting to show it. “He struck a nerve, but I’ll shake it off.”

“Do you still want to live here?” Grace winced and braced herself, afraid that his answer might be no. “Between the tour making me look like a spoiled brat and the welcome from my dad, I feel like this has been the least welcoming welcome wagon to ever exist.”

“The tour didn’t upset me,” Steve shook his head. “I don’t think you’re a spoiled brat either, I just…your dad has set this example for you with how he treats you and Pepper. He built her a mansion with an ice-skating rink in it. He bought you a custom Jeep, your dream car, on a whim.” He frowned, his brow furrowing. “I’m not poor, Grace, but I can’t drop thirty-five grand on a car for you. I can’t build you a skyscraper mansion with an ice-skating rink and swimming pool inside.”

“I don’t need you to do those things for me,” Grace cupped his face, running her thumb along his cheek. “I don’t even need those things from my dad. I definitely don’t ask for them. He just drops them on me. You know I grew up getting school supplies and clothes for birthdays and Christmas. How I had to get full ride scholarships to be able to go to college.” She stated and he nodded. “My life has always been a lot more like yours than all of this.”

She looked around at the luxe new apartment her dad had gifted him, the panel of windows along the far living room wall that gave a stunning view of the city. It was flashy, hardwood floors, an impressive chef’s kitchen with real marble counters and a hidden walk-in pantry. There were two bedrooms and two and a half bathrooms, all with the finest finishes a billionaire’s money could buy. All the apartments were equally impressive.

“The perks of being my dad’s kid, they’re nice, but they’re not necessary,” she insisted. “Comfort is fine, and excess is nice to indulge in for a while. But you know what I want from you?” His eyes flicked up to look at her, his cheeks turning pink.  “What I want is what we had in our little place in Brooklyn. Home cooked meals, sitting in the same room together while you draw and I read, evening walks, the simple, everyday stuff, not skating rinks, cars, not even jewelry.”

“You’re sure?” He asked, glancing around at the apartment for the first time. “This is…very comfortable.”

“I’m one hundred percent sure,” she smiled, drawing him down to kiss her. “All I need is you.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

Masterlist

Chapter Twenty-Six

[sophsun1]

I was watching a stream where Randy talked about invisioning Justin's future with some other guy and that he doesn't see Justin and Brian together and I was wondering why, Randy usually says good things about Gale and I don't see any tension between the actors, but for me it felt like he personally has something against Brian or Gale????? Of course Randy can have his own opinion, I don't really blame him for it but what are your thoughts on this situation, why do you think Randy feels this way??

(P.S. I personally think that Justin could've survived without Brian, but Brian couldn't, he would be copying as he usually does (sex, drugs, alcohol) and that may have been too much for him this time)

Hey anon!

To be honest I don't think it's very realistic or fair to expect the actors to be on the same page as fans when it comes to the characters/ships they portray. I mean it's nice if they like to get involved in the fandom side and even better if they are fans of their pairing too but it's not required. They're there to do their job and that's it. Not to mention the toxic side of fandom which I've witnessed which can spiral into down right terrifying where people cannot separate fiction from reality 🥴

I think it's wise to remember that an actor's experience playing a character is very different from us watching it at home. They have long days on set, learning lines, doing several takes, dealing with writers and production. To be honest a lot of actor's are so tired of filming the show they don't even watch the episodes meaning they don't have the same connections to the show or all the context that we do. It's a job to them and when they go home that side of their life is put away and they enjoy their real life friendships and interests.

Randy did have a bumpy time on the show in regards to how he was treated, concerns about the plots/writing he was given and his own personal perspective on the relationship. Also Randy not liking britin doesn't correlate with him having an issue with Gale??? One is a fictional character and the other is a real person. I don't have any direct personal knowledge into their friendship nor do I want any but from what I've seen and read they've always had good words to say about each other. I myself have frustrations about how they treated Justin's character outside of Brian and how underdeveloped it was so maybe Randy had issues with that. Plus answering questions all the time mostly the same ones over and over can be frustrating. You will never give an answer that will satisfy all fans.

Randy was young when he started qaf and the all the media attention I think did get to him a bit and even Gale as they both are quite private people. Which is understandable and maybe that spilled over into his views. He was on the show for 5 years so opinions he might have had at one point may not be the same at another. I've seen interviews where he's said maybe he projected some of his own personal opinions onto britin's relationship that he may not have been comfortable with that in his real life and that may have coloured his views.

In post qaf interviews he has been positive and about the show and britin, while it may not be for him he knows that it's enjoyed and important to the fans. He's supposed to appear at the recent convention and still has love for the cast/show and is appreciative of what it did for him. For me personally whatever opinion Randy does have britin doesn't take away MY enjoyment from it, he's entitled to his opinion on it just as I am.

I do agree with you that Justin would have the ability to love someone else and settle down but for Brian he probably would've just continued with hookups and not loved anyone else the way he did Justin.

[drowninmiserylake]

I wish I could hug 18 year old me and tell her to let those people go. to not give it a reaction. people love to use your reactions to their hurtful actions to turn you into the bad guy. maybe I didn't have the best reactions, but it was okay for me to be upset. it was. I just wish she didn't give it the energy. I wish I didn't. I think 30 year old me needs to take my own advice. I feel so alone. like yeah I have friends and family but im not anyone's number 1. I don't even really have to be someone's number one, it just feels like nobody gives what I give to them and im so tired. bc what about when I'm gone...then what? will they be there crying saying how great of a bond we had when I gave all the effort to the friendships. when I make all those trips...ive only had two friends come out to visit me from my hometown and ive lived here for 6 years now. even family. constantly begging me to come visit home all the time. what about when I leave the country...then what? what about when I finally find my own community who loves me as much as I love them. I think the American culture doesn't cherish these types of relationships between people. everyone is focused on their nuclear family with significant others who who who, ach, im going to bite my tongue. my opinion doesn't matter on that anyway, truly, why waste my breathe or my fingertips on the words.

it's funny. it coincides with 17 year old me and now as we have grown I think we have found what this really is, right? I remember at 17 being told I was jealous of someone's relationship, but really it was a friend neglecting a friendship. I also was dating someone too, lol. nobody is really much jealous of others relationships, I mean it happens, I think people are more hurt. I mean your friendships change a lot with someone when they start dating someone. it's an adjustment that can be smooth or very bumpy or completely severed. but, because people do not want to own up to hurting anyone or taking time away from their codependent relationship it's jumping right to jealousy. trust me, ive said it myself to others. I know. ahhhh patriarchy, how you've left crumbs that a special task force to vacuum up.

I wish I could hug 18 year old me so much. dealing with abuse. dealing with friendship changes, transitioning to college, watching friends go out without you (sometimes I really do wonder if this was on purpose can you blame a girl for being paranoid? I have cptsd), being parentified, her own thoughts, the loss of friendships via death. it hurt her. the transition wasn't easy. they'll never get it, never understand all the abuse she went through. that angry girl was just hurt girl and she was so tired of people hurting her that she fought back. she was harsh in ways because ways were harsh to her. I love her. she deserved so much better.

[rebellum]

Kinda personal post under the cut?? You can reply if you want. One of those diary-entry type posts.

Something something poetic post about how I'm p sure it's my old best friends birthday today. And how I met him through homestuck, a comic associated with April. And how it's been years since I've spoken to him, since i finally cut him off and said "no what you did was super fucked up and I'm still fucked up from it and I don't want to move past it with you even though you feel awful about it."

It's been years, but it's still his birthday.

But, is it? Was it April 10th? Or April 12th? Or April 14th? I know it around around homestuck day (April 13th). I try to erase him from my life but, like people from all past relationships, his essence still lingers in the depths of my soul. We are a patchwork of the people we have met and loved. And there is a huge patch of me, cut and torn and forever being restitched, that I can't remove.

December 24th was one of my old best friends birthdays. We were best friends in highschool, and a few days before I left the province after graduating highschool, they stopped replying to my messages. And never replied again. I checked on them, through Facebook, through friends. They were still alive. They just didn't want me in that life.

I don't remember the birthdays of my 3 childhood bestfriends. I think one was in late fall. One in early fall. And one in June. Sometime around there.

One of them, I still consider us friends, still consider us connected, even though we haven't spoken in over 10 years. I've heard it's that way with a lot of childhood friends -- you grow apart, but you still love eachother. She moved away when we turned 11. And I saw her once after that, when we were 13, and we had picked up where we left off.

The other two friends, about year after that friend left, just decided they didn't want me anymore. With one of them, we had been best friends for most of our lives at that point. The other was fewer years, but ages 9-11 still feels like a lifetime when you've just turned 12. They both just decided they didn't want to speak to me anymore. I don't know what I actually did wrong. If it was just growing apart, as some people have said (though I've always thought growing apart didn't involve a sudden cut of contact...), or if I did something wrong, or if they just... got bored of me.

I don't even remember their birthdays anymore.

I used to have three numbers memorized, as a kid: my house phone, my mothers cell phone, and one of my best friends phone numbers. All I remember now is (area code)-728. But was it even that? Or am I getting the 28 mixed up with her address?

After 12, I was worried about people leaving me.

After 18 or 19, I just accepted it. Relationships end. Sometimes suddenly. And sometimes best friends can do something terrible to you, and there is nothing you can do to prevent it, except to live a sad life never being close to people, which isn't worth it in my opinion.

I have new patches now. Some are little, and faded, and others have big tears that I've tried to sew shut, but will forever be bumpy and have a visible seam. So I guess all I can do is just add more patches, and appreciate the people in my life while they are still here.

[davidwilliampsychicmedium]

5 Signs Your Twin Flame's Thinking Of You

5 Signs Your Twin Flame Is Thinking Of You.

Hey Beautiful Soul,

Been having a bit of trouble with your Twin Flame?

Wanna know how to spot the signs that your Twin Flame is actually thinking of you? Then you’re in the right place.

My name is David William, I’m a Psychic Medium who specialises in Twin Flames & Soul Mate Reading’s.

If you’re in a Twin Flame relationship you know there’s never a dull moment. Think rollercoaster on steroids. Fasten your seatbelt’s as it’s about to get bumpy!!!

When Twin Flame’s come together it’s like watching two worlds collide. The intensity of attraction is off the charts. That connection is instant, magnetic and nearly impossible to break.

You know what I’m talking about!

That passion that make’s sparks fly. It can be soooo overwhelming it’s like an ache in your heart, right? You just want your Twin Flame with you for every second, of every minute, every day. And who can blame you, Why let a good thing go?

A Twin Flames relationship is like being in the most DRAMATIC movie ever. There’s never a dull moment, never a sense of calm, it’s full on ALL the time.

But sometimes that intensity can get too much, it can repel rather than attract. You know what I mean. It’s on, it’s off and then it’s back on again. You can read more about Twin flames in my other blog Twin Flames.

Is Your Twin Flame Taking You On A Spiritual Journey?

The simple answer is YES!

A Twin Flame connection always takes us on a spiritual journey as a Twin Flame comes into our life to help teach us lessons about the deeper issues we need to deal with in order to grow and flourish.

Your Twin Flame connection serves the purpose of elevating you both, as deeper issues that are currently hidden, can rise to the surface, forcing you both to deal with them as and when they come up, even when sometimes those issues can be hard or painful.

I said earlier - Fasten your seatbelt’s it’s about to get bumpy because the definition of a Twin Flame relationships IS about drama and upheaval but it’s also about love, passion and connection and with the depth’s of the feeling’s involved there’s bound to be a few bumps in the road.

If you’ve found your Twin Flame then remember it’s natural for the ride to be rocky.

Growth and development is often never easy and there is nothing simple about the lessons your Twin Flames is here to teach. This is often the main purpose of a Twin Flame, they come into our life we teach them and help them grow and they teach us and once that learning has taken place we part ways. So remember not all Twin Flame’s are designed or destined to last.

The longest separation I’ve read in a Twin Flames Reading was a 12 year cycle where I could clairvoyantly see my client her and her Twin Flames being apart for 12 years and in that time I could see they’d both go on to live separate lives but that after 12 years destiny would draw them back together and that’s what happened. They reconnected after 12 years and still love each other just as passionately and ferociously today just as when they first met.

However sometimes there can be a difficult and heart wrenching separation followed by a passionate reunion.

It can be difficult to separate from a Twin Flame because it is often said that a twin Flame is like the mirror of you and you feel like you’re losing a part of yourself.

So let’s dive in and give you that clarity you’re searching for.

Here Are 5 Signs Your Twin Flame’s Thinking Of You.

1: You Dream of Them.

Are you dreaming of your Twin Flame ALL THE TIME?

And now you’re wondering if it’s a sign from the universe that you’re meant to be together BUT you just don’t trust you’re intuition enough to go with it - So now you’re reading this article.

One of the questions I’m asked the most during a Twin Flames Reading is:

Why Am I Dreaming About My Twin Flame?

This is far from a simple answer because each persons destiny is different and Twin Flame connections are very complex this question needs to be interpreted individually.

But…

If a Twin Flame keeps appearing in your dreams it’s a clear sign they ARE thinking of YOU!

You Soul via dreams is trying to tell you that your Twin Flame is still thinking of you. Your Soul’s reminding you that there’s unfinished business and that the bond between you remains in tact.

Is This A Good Or A Bad Thing?

Are your dreams trying to tell you that you’re mean’t to be together OR are they trying to tell you that there’s more growth and healing that’s needed for either one of you?

AAAHHHH!!! Which is it?

Whilst it’s tempting to reach out to your Twin Flame right this minute (Even if it’s the middle of the night.) Stop and Wait.

Before you do something rash and impulsive I’d advise:

1st: Finish reading this article.

2nd: Check what your Tarot Cards are saying.

As we don’t want to run into a situation blind (Because things rarely end well, when we do.)

2: You Can’t Stop Thinking Of your twin flame.

How frustrating is it when you’re getting on with your busy day and still your Twin Flames keeps popping right back into your thoughts (Just like a boomerang.)

You know what I mean!

No matter how BUSY you are, thoughts of your Twin Flame keep flashing back into your mind. It’s like they’ve got a life of their own.

Stop And Ask Yourself: Why Does This Keep Happening?

This is a very powerful sign that your Twin Flame is thinking of YOU!

Question:

Did you know that Twin Flames are energetically bonded until karmic lessons are learned and then they’ll often go their separate ways?

It’s like there’s a telepathic connection between you both. So that when they think about you, you pick up that thought vibration immediately, regardless of the distance or location that lies between you.

Now you know your Twin Flame’s thinking about you - What is it they’re thinking?

It’s time to tune into your intuition - again.

Oh Crap! struggling to tune in? Can’t figure out what your Twin Flame’s thinking?

Don’t stress about it. It’s always super hard to be objective especially with the intensity of feelings and emotions connected to a Twin Flame’s situation. It’s like trying to drive through thick fog with no headlights (And who want’s to do that!)

Spoiler Alert: If you do find yourself thinking of your Twin Flame ALL the time. Then the quicker you find out why it’s happening the quicker your life will become balanced. So take action.

3: your twin flame Keeps Coming Up In Conversation.

You’ve just stopping thinking about your Twin Flame ALL the time and NOW it just feel’s like the Universe is conspiring against you because…

It’s crazy how your Twin Flame Keeps Cropping Up In ALL Your Conversations AND you’re not even instigating it. There you are chatting away and BAM! Out of the blue the person you’re chatting with mentions your Twin Flame and then it happens again and again and again (AAAGGGHH) - It’s a conspiracy right? Wrong…

Remember that telepathic connection I mentioned earlier? It’s at play again and it’s another clear sign that your Twin Flame is thinking of YOU. That’s good, right?

Maybe. It’s good that your Twin Flame’s thinking of you BUT what are they thinking and WHY?

Are they thinking about you because:

They’re missing you, as much as you’re missing them?

They’re sorry they cut and run (Again!)

They realise just how much you mean to them?

Or is it because they’re thinking of getting back in touch?

Are there other signs the Universe is sending that you’re missing you like..

1010

1111

If so what do they mean?

Time to get in tune with your intuition again. Not comfortable doing that because your Twin Flames is like your Kryptonite, they just keep sending your intuition sideways?

That’s OK that’s what I’m here for. I’ve got my cards ready. my spirit team’s ready and I’m ready to give you the clarity you crave so you can move forwards instead of going round and round in circles.

4: The Universe Keeps Reminding You of your twin flame.

You’ve got over the thoughts, thoughts, thoughts and all your friends have stopped dropping your Twin Flame randomly into your conversations - Phew.

Now it’s time to chill out and listen to some tunes - WHAM! First song on the radio is your “Special Song” and now your Twin Flame’s in your head AGAIN.

Or maybe you passed a stranger who’s wearing your Twin Flames favourite scent and BAM! Your most sacred moment’s back in your mind and it hurts!

These are just a couple of the many signs the universe will send you in an attempt to grab your attention as well as…

You keep getting drawn back to you and your Twin Flames favourite places (For no apparent reason.)

You keep seeing people who remind you of your Twin Flame

Every time you put on the TV your Twin Flame’s favourite programs on (Again!)

What’s Going On?

What’s The Universe Trying To Tell You?

There are three things the Universe could be trying to tell you they are…

Your Twin Flame has you on their mind and is thinking of you and you’re picking up on their vibration. (Magnetic connection)

The Universe is nudging you to reach out and reconnect because now’s the right time.

Or

Is the Universe testing you and reminding you that there’s some healing to be done? Maybe It’s time to make peace with the ending of the relationship because until you do the signs will keep popping up.

But because you’ve gone into analysis paralysis (You know - Over thinking things and getting SO confused) You’ve now got no idea anymore what the Universe’s is trying to say or why.

You Can One Of Two Things:

Take time to go into the silence and tune into your intuition to discover what is at play here….Because nothing happens by coincidence.

Let me take the hassle out of you connecting with your intuition and let me do it for you instead. Easy Peasy!

5: Your Tarot Reading Confirms your twin flames thinking about you.

The four signs I’ve shared above can give you clarity about whether your Twin Flame’s thinking of you.

And you would’ve noticed that at the end of each sign there’s a choice for you to get in touch with your own intuition to see why the Universe is sending you these signs. The only PROBLEM with that is learning how to become objective on such a subjective issue AND learning to trust your own intuition.

What Do I Mean?

It’s not easy to step back from a Twin Flames situation. You know this because you’re in it. With all the strong emotional feelings flying round AND the strong magnetic connection to your soul mate it’s not going to be easy to settle all these emotions, feelings and thoughts down to allow you to go into clam space where your intuition lives.

It’s like trying to dive for pearls on a boat that’s at sea with a category five hurricane going off. You can imagine the turbulence and upheaval in such a storm. The rolling waves, the crashing thunder, the strikes of lighting. You get the point.

Well imagine that all going off inside of you right now because of all the signs and symbols that keep leading you back to your Twin Flame.

Good luck interpreting your own intuition in such a storm.

It’s Time to call in the cavalry!

As an expert in Twin Flame Readings I can bring you the clarity you crave.

If you wanna know if your Twin Flames coming back then it’s time you got in touch.

Just hit the button below which will take you across to the readings and bookings page. There you’ll find my online diary.

Booking your reading is as easy as 1, 2, 3.

Pick the reading of your choice

With my online diary, pick a day and time that suits.

Viola your all done

It’s as simple as that.

Sit back and relax as the cavalry’s on it’s way.

Thank you for taking the time to read my article on The 5 Signs Your Twin Flame’s Thinking Of You. I look forward to connecting with you soon

David William Psychic Medium x

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

11 fe bru ar y 2023 Saturday 🪐 (sat urn ⚱️ Earn 💰??? 5:07 am pdt)5:06 am pdt

Incubus has been attacking bones 🦴 in my backside 😖😭😤🥵😤🥵. Woke up minutes ago. Forgot things hours ago coughing even though I took 18 minutes to prepare for it 😞 distracted. 5:09 am pdt woke up 🆙 then felt intestinal? Abdominal pain. 5:10 am pdt

revelation: god is incubus, pain right shoulder 😖😭😭😭😭 that is what he did to Virgin Mary. Bad father who didn’t want to pay 💰 child support. Didn’t want to support Mary himself. Forced her to marry an old man 👴 . She was probably 16 years old. Naïve? 5:14 am pdt incubus is womanizer? What is a womanizer? 5:15 am pdt

5:16 am pdt man 👨 who engages in numerous casual s*xual affairs. Casual = not waiting for marriage commitment? 5:17 am pdt

5:19 pmpdt if incubus tells you he is your husband & has been hurting you, idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ what’s best? Believe or not believe? I need proof. Things you think 🤔 can be proof can turn in to non proof if they are lying 🤥. Marriage becomes imprisonment incubus deleted imprisonment. (I don’t believe I improved incubus 😖😭😤🥵😖😭 5:24 am pdt) I watched stuff on tv 📺. Men sometimes pretending to love 💕 someone gets married after spending a lot of money 💰 to court the woman 👩🏻 then after the honeymoon 🍯 🌙 he disappeared 👻 leaving her a lot of debt 💸 bcz I guess he lied 🤥 about having a (divorce boyfriend relationship heart pain brain autocorrect stuff 2 sets 5:27 am pdt) high paying job? Or about having a lot of money 💰 5:29 am pdt. Similar to an incubus I guess? But not the same.

5:32 am pdt he roasting me so much my skin is not smooth anymore all bumpy. Vag acid pain. I get it now. It’s a joke. Ha ha ha not funny 😄. 5:34 am pdt 5:35 am pdt

5:35 am pdt guy w/middle name David made the first move on me by touching my body he ran his fingers up 🆙 & down my back & massaged my shoulders & danced behind me & talked about how I didn’t shave 🪒 my legs 🦵 to other people physically behind me. He stood behind me in class for roll call ☎️ for this class. 7th grade. & I ran away from him all year. 5:39 am pdt

8th grade I tried to give him a chance. We played mancala in the library 📚 but we were both sorta quiet types. I did not know this immediately. Weird. I often found him on the computer & I put my hands over his eyes 👀 & said guess who many times. Once I accidentally pulled his head into my chest. Somehow I think bcz of the timing ⏱ of how he grabbed my hands 🙌 to uncover his eyes 👀 to which he turned to face me & smiled. 5:44 am pdt

5:45 am pdt the way he touched me 7th grade was probably inappropriate but we were still borderline kids I guess so that would be the last time he can get away with such an introduction. 5:46 am pdt

it seems I met a lot of guys who approached me for s*x w/o engaging in much communication or even trying to be friends first. Feels like a lot for some reason. 5:48 am pdt

I should try to recall who so I can count them out. Dua lipa I got new rules I count them. 5:49 5:50 am pdt

6:12 am pdt I guess incubus wants me to believe to my truest deepest core of the realest me that I am cruel heartless wicked 🕯. I am confessing here my baddest behaviors. A piece at a time. I think incubus is hinting what he wants me to confess. The 2nd guy. Bcz mayb I said some things I shouldn’t have to my sister. I don’t know it’s hard to remember exactly what I said now after all the brain 🧠 abuse. Some things I think about over and over again so it has a better chance of being (autocorrect “removed reminded” 6:17 am pdt) remembered. I do remember feeling that I was saying dishonest things in a way bcz I felt it was my fault 🤦‍♀️ but had difficulty owning up 🆙 & admitting. I wrote a little about 2nd guy in a post probably 10-15 posts ago. I wrote about a magnetic 🧲 feeling btwn our bodies. & how I tried to tell him I was not ready for physical intimacy but failed with my word choices. Told him I think: I’m not ready for a relationship. Didn’t want to kiss yet but he decided to kiss me & then it was hard to stop. 🛑 his mouth 👄 tasted like cigarettes 🚬. 6:21 am pdt but he was athletic & productive. He was sorta poor but he seemed busy. He drove an old car 🚗 & he bought his clothing second hand 🤚. I was attracted to him even though he wasn’t the handsomest of men. When I first saw him I was interested in getting to know him. He had a different kind of sense of humor I think 🤔 that I tried to adapt to. After things ended btwn us I somehow ended up complimenting him more. But I think I complimented him also before we had our first date? It’s too bad he deleted an account I complimented on. (Right arm muscle pain minutes ago 6:27 am pdt) I think I felt like it was my fault we got physically intimate too fast & that It was hard for me to admit to it, & probably complained out loud to my sister. I mentioned him to other people but I forget what I said to them. 6:28 am pdt after he stopped talking to me, which probably should have been ok bcz they were friends b4 he met me, they kept on hanging out/meeting up/ inviting her out. He wrote to her once that I saw 👀 “dearest (my sister’s name here).” He didn’t wait very long to kiss me. I still had difficulty being myself. & I appeared I guess “bubbly” b4 him in an effort to be pleasant to hang around with, even though I usually wasn’t bubbly? Usually I was shy & quiet. Sometimes I was critical. I would look at a person s drawing & pick it apart on what needed to change. 6:33 am pdt I usually didn’t know what to say. I had some practice with my first real boyfriend... but I feel bcz I didn’t feel like I was myself that it was all wrong & neede more time to date b4 getting intimate. Guys usually don’t wait. That’s the truth. It doesn’t matter what they say. If you don’t cave into your s*x desires they will pressure you/me. Or used to. 6:36 am pdt

in 2011 the second guy tried to come back into my life & invited me to see him play in a band. I typed to him I don’t think I can. ... I’m trying to do what’s right. I don’t remember if I wrote anything in between. It was hard for me to think of seeing him again. Now I remember.. I invited him to my bday party 🎈 but I think I already knew from the pattern of communication that the fling was at its end. He was trying to separate him self from me. I think I was glad but still wavering in & out bcz I was attracted & difficulty letting go even though It was hard for me to feel the connection I really needed for a relationship. Vag pain. Shamefully I asked him to be my boyfriend w/ anticipating that he would say “no,” which he did, I think he said “I m not ready for a relationship.” Did he... say my words back to me at the very end? Did he say those exact words? That was the last time we saw each other face to face. Thanks 🙏 for the honesty? Was he being honest???? Or was I not the right one???? & he didn’t have the guts to tell me 🥺???? Not long afterwards I forgot how long though I saw online he got a girlfriend. Sometimes you just bite the cookie. I don’t think he whore shamed me in public. I really wanted to hold off on s*x b4 marriage so I tried even harder w/ the next guy: Scott. I told him long winded no-typed answers on 2 different days. Whose first name is David. King 🤴 David ? (Spurt of 🩸 blood . Coughing difficulty breathing 6:54 am pdt). It wasn’t enough though. He whore shamed me publicly 2 times even though he essentially forced me to have intercourse with out condom. 6:56 am pdt

how is it some women can control them selves enough to not engage in s*x activities b4 marriage? Is it a myth? My aunt said she was a Virgin when she eloped @ age 40? Got pregnant 🤰 & had a daughter. My gma I heard got pregnant 14 times but only had 9 full pregnancies. Only. 😬 why is it I’m having problems now? Incubus. 7 am pdt

7:03 am pdt Merlin 🧙‍♂️. Magic 🪄 spells . Magic potions 🧪. Poison ☠️? 222 poison ☠️ control. 7:04 am pdt love 💕 spell. Love sick 🤒. 7:04 am pdt horny spell? Horny sick? Addiction? 7:05 am pdt

7:06 am pdt kings are best friends/bros w/ incubus.

7:07 am pdt my mom was still a s*xy babe at age 40. I ve met a s*xy Asian woman 👩🏻 who was turning 50. Only started having menopause symptoms. 7:08 am pdt (exhaling hot 🥵 air 7:09 am pdt)

7:15 am pdt 7:17 am pdt the 4th guy I don’t recall him paying for my food dinner 🍽 or any meal for some reason... maybe he bought me a hot dog 🌭? & a burrito 🌯 once ? He (teeth pain 7:19 am pdt 😖😭😤🥵😤🥵) alcoholic beverages? I think he was given tall sample energy drinks 🥤 & he gave me one named “bad mother.” Unfortunately the economy thrives off of bad parenting? An ode to bad mothers? Energy drink. 🥤 7:22 am pdt (left temple flesh digging tearing pain 7:22 am pdt 7:23 am pdt back stabbed tearing pain 7:23 am pdt)

7:29 am pdt at community college during my last year I was attracted to a classmate who asked me out on a date for Valentine’s Day, & bcz I was afraid 😱 that I would fall in to the hole 🕳 again in the sidewalk rinpoche poem I declined even though I was interested. I was trying to be disciplined. 7:31 am pdt when I took accounting 🧾 classes 2013-2014? I again tried to be disciplined and not get intimate with anyone. After graduation from community college I accepted an invitation from him to hang out, & coincidentally he could not on the first planned day & got a girlfriend. He rescheduled & then broke the news 📰 to me & we hung out platonically? Only friends sort of way. By the end of the date I had started to have a little bit of feelings for him & I felt awkward about it bcz he just got a girlfriend again. He reportedly from him got a girlfriend after I turned him down for Valentine’s Day & sounded like they had a whirlwind relationship? Moved in together moved out said she was the devil blah blah 😑. It almost sounds like fiction bcz who moved in with a woman they met not long ago to have a relationship? Watched tv 📺 shows that when a boyfriend gives you a drawer for your stuff was a big deal. 7:39 am pdt 7:40 am pdt he told me I should try not to be shy 🙈 when I am interested in someone I think 🤔 trying to remember. I borrowed a movie 🎥 from him and had intentions of returning it to him but it was awkward & I thought he texted me once early on but didn’t respond a second time. Bad excuse but I was retarded like that. Felt awkward being the first to text. Pain knot 🪢 in hair after acid abdominal pain 7:43 am pdt. I should have just mailed it. Anchorman burgundy Ron. 7:45 am pdt

8:03 8:04 am pdt I tried dating again one last time in 2011, after reluctantly dating Scott again in 2010. Autocorrect “king” b4 I typed “again”... I was not interested bcz I didn’t feel an immediate connection but my mom urged me to give this guy a chance. We texted but I canceled once, then rescheduled, then he stood me up 🆙 & that was the end of it. He texted me back late saying he was high (he told me had a med card for it) 8:09 right 👁 eyeball pain exhaling hot 🥵 air. 8:10 am pdt

8:15 am pdt I have a pattern w/men: resist resist resist, cave, resist resist resist (8:16 am pdt sharp stabbing pain right thigh).

8:41 am pdt I wonder 💭 how tummy aches 😖😭😫😤🥵😤 god would have been able to predict my personality b4 I was conceived? Is my younger sister not really my sister? 8:43 am pdt 😰

more am I being manipulated/controlled???? 8:44 am pdt

I started worrying again about the baby 👶 I threw a plastic or rubber ball at, it was inflatable I think? I was probably 7th grade. I think I threw it under hand from a distance? I only did it once. I typed about it in an earlier post. He seemed to get even smarter after I threw the ball at him & his personality didn’t change. I don’t think 🤔 he cried at (8:47 am pdt acid sand paper feeling in throat 8:48 am pdt) I regret throwing anything at him.

If I had a lot of money 💰 I would pay 💰 him too for medical 🏥 bills 💵 that I’m at fault for. If I was a billionaire/millionaire. 8:50 8:51 he seemed very normal & once he looked 👀 possessed by the demon lord, bcz I had 2 sit next to him sometime afterwards & he laughed maniacally? Crazily?? & reached towards me with little chubby hands covered in snot. It’s as if he was super smart & could already see that I didn’t like the snot on his hands 🙌. That was the only time I recalled him reaching out to touch me???? Was there another time before that???? 8:55 am pdt but that one time stuck in my mind bcz of how bizarre he looked & sounded = demonically possessed. 😖😭😤🥵😤🥵 arm muscles 💪 pain. 8:56 am pdt he also made humping movements towards a baby 👶 girl toddler & the daycare lady’s son cheered him on. 8:57 am pdt he was usually smiling & laughing. I think the only time I’ve seen him cry maybe 🤔 did she sit him on her lap , the daycare lady’s daughter, (burping 9 am pdt coughing) & she pointed her finger up 🆙 wards & said “no!” (Autocorrect steamy sternum Steve steak .... 😰 Steve-> Saint eve? Yup it’s warm cramps groin 😞😭😖😭 hip hot 🥵 9:03 am pdt) she did that to the baby 👶 girl toddler I remember that & she cried vag cut pain stung 9:04 am pdt. Few minutes this morning I felt I deserved to be punched in the head & head rammed into steel beams of bunk bed 🛌. B4 parents separated I had reading 📖 comprehension issues. The school 🏫 was already giving us big social studies/history text books 📖 to read. 9:07 am pdt

9:58 am pdt something to clarify: I had actually went a little crazy about my sister sneaking off to hang out with the 2nd guy. I secretly saw the message he wrote to her. I don’t remember what I said but I did say something out loud so she would hear 👂 me, that I was upset that she was going out to hang out (without me?) I might have hinted that I knew. I don’t remember if she canceled her plans. Once she tried to borrow my ID card bcz we look 👀 almost alike & she was under 21 years old. It was requested by the guy who stopped hanging out with me & started hanging out with her. I think I don’t remember, did she pressure me to let her borrow it? It’s like, you don’t think I need my own card? I don’t matter? I don’t have a life any way no one likes me so it don’t matter but yours does? Even though you’re already popular & every one likes you? (Brain head skull pain hot 🥵 head) she did somehow make me feel guilty? Did she? I feel like there was a possibility of it but I don’t remember. I remember being very upset & accidentally venting about it to mom, then mom got upset? Concerned? & forbaded her from borrowing my id card.10:07 am pdt

When I typed above that it was fine she hang out w/ him, the 2nd guy, it’s a retrospect feeling. & I am unsure if I have any rights to shame anyone again about it. Bcz maybe I should not have went crazy about it. I had asked her if she was attracted to him... she said he has a big (funny shaped?) head... I (rib left side pain 😖😭😤🥵😤🥵) guess not. 10:11 am pdt it feels weird when a guy decides to date your sister after having s*x w/ you, no? 10:11 am pdt keep accidentally typing 9:11..... 10:12 am pdt

She got mad I accidentally told mom, she thought I did it intentionally. Feels a little like pressured. 10:13 am pdt

10:16 10:17 am pdt I lost my I’d card 2020? Karma for getting upset about her wanting to borrow my id card? 10:19 am pdt I guess???? Right hip pain bone 🦴 sharp stabbing. 10:20 am pdt

10:28 am pdt did she ask nicely? Does it matter? 10:29 am pdt she was very angry 😠 I think I remember after mom for bad e her. 10:30 am pdt

I didn’t space out forbade.... 10:30 🕥 am pdt

10:49 am pdt the thought 💭 entered my mind bcz I didn’t pummel? A baby’s head to death ☠️ w/ my fists he decided to sacrifice my head & bones 🦴 & body? Feels like that’s possible. Feels & seems like that’s the mentality these days. Apocalypse whore of Babylon mentality. 10:52 am pdt

10:56 am pdt bcz I didn’t finish the job? Bcz I didn’t do it correctly? Bcz I didn’t rape? Bcz I didn’t premeditated murder? Bcz I didn’t beat up someone head to toe? 10:58 am pdt

11:19 am pdt I got personality problems. I m the problem. It’s me 😤🥵😤😥😤🥵����😭😖😭😖😭😖😭😞 🎶🎼🎵????? Somehow I accidentally typed mud after mus 11:20 am pdt

11:56 am pdt in 2020? I lost all my passwords when I ran away. Treat the end of last year incubus stole my passwords paper. Yesterday my mom found the ring 💍 I thought 💭 the incubus stole. Still missing a box 📦 of other jewelry. Bcz my mom found the ring 💍 doesn’t mean that the incubus didn’t steal it. They often take & return things. They took a small heart ❤️ locket that was my sister’s but I don’t think she liked it. 11:59 am pdt

12 pmpdt I don’t trust incubus he’s trying to change my memories & feelings again. Very disturbing. 12 pmpdt

12:02 pmpdt they’ve been hurting my brain 🧠 for hours? This morning. A few minutes ago they squeezed it was it the whole brain 🧠?? I think it was but I’m having difficulty pelvis lower abdomen cramps 😞😖😭 nausea 12:02 pmpdt remembering. Having cravings now fears again of mad cow 🐮 disease 🦠. I once had a fear & stopped eating beef 🥩 for a while???? I remember I told a friend, she said she didn’t care & needed to eat the beef 🥩 she loved beeef 12:05 pmpdt

1:35 pmpdt b4 my next door 🚪 neighbor moved out, I had a crush 😻 on him. He was married & in the marines. He was short like josh, but reminded me a little of my first real boyfriend. 1:37 pmpdt there were days I woke up 🆙 wanting to do it w/ him (s*x) but I refused to let myself go down that path. I laid in bed 🛌 thinking don’t get up don’t get up don’t get up bcz I was h*rny. The last 6 months? He lived next to me he was alone - his wife moved to their new house 🏠 in another state & he was finishing his requirements for recruiting? I stopped talking to him after I started feeling something. 1:43 pmpdt something about a uniform 🥋....

going back to Nick, I thought 💭 he was s*xy. & when he wanted friends w/benefits I was already h*rny for years. I was already h*rny in middle school 🏫. But I remained a virgin until I was 19 years old. Nick wanted friends with benefits months b4 I turned 16 years old. 1:46 pmpdt

2:02 pmpdt left shoulder pain 😖😭😓 right side jaw pain. What I think 💭 I remember telling Scott was “I like josh. I think he’s cool” 😎 several minutes ago aat the (autocorrect sun devil first)(nihongo ichi nee San yon/shi go roku nana/shichi hachi kyu/ku ju. ...) 2:08 pmpdt

2:18 pmpdt josh made me laugh 😆 after Scott played foosball whipping/spinning the rods very fast so I didn’t have a chance to hit the ball ⚽️. 2:20 pmpdt b4 this? So many details... I will have to review if I already wrote it. My memory is going. The chronology is getting lost in my mind. Maybe that means I wrote it already pain 2:22 pm right eyeball 👁😖😭

[ptergwen]

If you do smut can you do like stark!reader x peter parker (spiderman) are dating 3-4 month and y/n and peter had their very fluff first time then next morning y/n has hickies all over her neck and her thights stomach... and tony/ her dad sees it and is confronting them with it😂 i love your stories 🤤

just saying hi

w/c: 2.5k

warnings: veryyyy suggestive, swearing, some pretty embarrassing moments

a/n: thank you babe! i didn’t write the actual smut but y’all can guess what happened 😭 also this is super long i couldn’t help myself

-

it was everything. it was everything you ever wanted your first time to be and more.

you’d brought up to peter during a make out session one night that you were ready to go farther than you two already have. there was one base you didn’t hit yet. the fourth, the final. you were thinking about it for a while before that, and peter would be lying if he said he didn’t.

your love has always been physical, whether it’s you kissing peter’s cuts after a mission or him tracing hearts on you with his fingers. there’s also the more sexual side of things. that part, you both enjoy just as much, maybe even a little more because you know exactly how to make each other feel good after all the trial and error.

what better way to combine the two than, well, making love?

last night was your sign from the universe, your go ahead to do it. you had the compound to yourselves because your dad had taken all the “big kids” out for the night. you’re both well into college, but he refuses to see you as adults. that meant no peter and no you. you two were a little offended until you realized you could make use of your alone time.

you started off searching for a movie. that turned into you wrestling peter for the remote because you didn’t feel like watching back to the furure yet again. wrestling turned into you on top of him, which turned into you kissing him, which turned into peter throwing the remote somewhere and carrying you up to your room with his lips still on yours.

neither of you had to say it. you were on the same page, same wavelength, two brains in one as peter layed you down and trailed his kisses lower and lower.

peter was so gentle with you, except for when you told him not to be. those were the times he didn’t hold back. he was attentive and sweet and showed you quite a few times how much he loves you. you showed him just the same. yeah, it was really everything.

“morning, baby. you awake yet?” peter hums against the shell of your ear, arms wound comfortably around you. “kinda,” you mumble back with a goofy smile. he presses his lips to your ear and nuzzles his face in the side of your neck. “kinda... how’d you sleep?” you can hear the grin in his voice. his nose nudges your bare skin where a fresh hickey lies and makes you scrunch your own up.

“good, really good. always love sleeping with you.” you’re both aware of the alternate meaning that has now. “funny,” peter lets out a breathy laugh against you and brushes his thumb over your stomach where your shirt got ridden up. you sigh, enjoying his soft touch and reaching behind you to play with his curls. they’re a lot messier than usual from you tugging on them all last night.

peter removes his face from your neck and carefully turns you onto your other side. you’re facing him now, eyes trained on his concerned expression. “hey, just wanna check. how are you feeling? still sore?” a tiny smile stretches your face. he really does care about you and how you feel after everything. you know for a fact most other guys wouldn’t.

“i mean, yeah. you were... it was a lot, but i’ll be fine in a few days i think.” the mention of peter being a lot makes color rush to his face. you laugh quietly at that, cupping one of his cheeks that’s turning pink. “oh. i, um, i didn’t know that. sorry.” he smiles shyly as you smooth your thumb over his warm skin. “don’t be. it wasn’t as bad after i... adjusted a little,” you reassure him, making him lean into your palm.

“i really am sorry, y/n/n. can i make it up to you?” peter checks with you, eyes going up from yours to down your body. he hooks a finger in the waistband of your pajama shorts. “make you feel better?” the way he finishes his question with a bite of his lip is definitely tempting. so is your stomach yelling at you to put some food in it. you’ll have to wait.

“later. right now, you can make me breakfast,” you beam at him and take his hand. peter pushes his palm against yours, letting you lace your fingers together as he puffs some air out of his cheeks. “yeah, that’s gonna go well.” “i’m supervising. it will.” you capture his lips in a kiss, one he instantly reciprocates, free hand resting on your hip. just as it’s heating up, you break it.

“i’m hungry for actual food,” you giggle and roll out of his embrace. “ok, ok, ok. let’s go see what we have,” peter gives in with a chuckle, grabbing the same hand he was just holding and following you down to the kitchen.

he ends up popping some frozen waffles into the toaster, you sitting up on the counter with your phone out while he struggles through the different settings. “should i put it on bake? no, that doesn’t sound right,” he talks to himself with eyes squinted in concentration. “your dad made this thing so... detailed.” it’s an old stark industries toaster, one with options you probably don’t even need.

“yeah because he loves his toast, so maybe don’t break it. he’ll kill you or something,” you half playfully half seriously suggest. peter is one clumsy guy. he tsks at you and crouches down to read the words on the dial. there’s conveniently a setting for waffles, so he hits that one. he’s not sure how he hadn’t noticed it before.

since he’s down there, he takes one of your ankles in both hands and starts to kiss up your leg. it tickles when he gets to your knee, drawing a giggle out of you, but your phone still blocks his face. you’re doing it on purpose. “baby,” peter tries to get your attention in a soft voice. he presses a couple more kisses to your knee. you have to hold your breath so you don’t laugh again.

“baby girllll,” peter drags out, lips moving up your thigh. he nudges your phone with his nose much like a puppy would. “aye, i’m talkin’ to you here,” he says in a fake new york accent. you finally put it down next to you. “i’m listening.” you’re giving him a satisfied smile as he goes back to kissing you.

“just saying hi,” he looks up at you and moves your shorts aside while he kisses further and further to where you want. you scoot closer to him on the counter.

that’s when he stops. not only stops, gasps in horror. “what?” you ask quickly, his eyes fixed on your inner thighs. “i kind of, uh, marked you up. like, a lot.” he runs a finger gently over the bruised skin. you’re suddenly very aware of it now. it doesn’t exactly hurt, just feels bumpy and weird. you peer down at yourself to see the damage, eyes going wide.

“shit... they’re on my neck, too,” you remember, murmuring to him. you’ll have to cover these up before everyone gets home. worry flashes across peter’s face. “oh my god, i didn’t even realize. it- it was dark and you told me-“ “pete, it’s okay. it’s pretty hot,” you stop his rambling, reaching down and putting a hand on his shoulder. he frowns up at you.

“really? are you sure i didn’t go too far? because you can tell me.” you’ve always appreciated how much peter genuienly values your thoughts on things, in the bedroom and in other parts of your relationship. it does lead to a lot of second guessing, though. you squeeze his shoulder and let out a breath. “i’m sure, okay? it’s really not that serious. i’ll just change so no one can see.”

peter winds an arm around one of your legs, body relaxing ever so slightly under your touch. “okay.” he gives your thigh one final kiss, then rests his chin on it. “what about your neck?” “uh...” you hadn’t considered that yet. “makeup? a scarf?” you’ve seen enough tv to know neither of those work, but they’re your only options.

“yup. mr. stark is really gonna kill me now,” peter says under his breath, tensing up all over again. you furrow your eyebrows at him. “what? we’re literally grown adults, we can do whatever we want-“

tony claps loudly as he steps into the kitchen, announcing his return home. peter jumps up from between your legs faster than fast. he moves so he’s next to you, and you hop down from the counter.

“hello, daughter of mine. spider of man,” your dad greets you two, you pulling down your shorts with a plastered on smile. “or would it be man of spider?” he plucks an apple from the bowl on the table as he ponders his question. steve and wanda file into the room next. “second one,” peter replies, grinning a little too much to be normal. tony takes note of that.

wanda comes over to the fridge for a snack, which is close to where you and peter are. “how was last night?” you ask her to take the attention off you two. wanda settles on a yogurt and turns to you. “it was good. we shared a few hotel rooms, had our own party.” she glances over at peter, a knowing smirk playing on her lips. “seems like you two had a fun night of your own.”

peter’s mouth drops open. “how did you-“ he forgot she could read his mind and now knows everything that happened. you slap a hand over your forehead. “you couldn’t think about anything else? for, like, a minute?” you whisper yell at him. he uses his eyes to plead with you. “i’m sorry! i was looking at the hickeys-“ he realizes what he’s saying. “crap.”

shooting you a wink, wanda shuts the fridge and goes to join the rest of the team in the living room. lucky for you and peter, steve started lecturing tony about washing his fruit before he eats it. he didn’t hear any of that. there’s still the problem of your visible hickeys that you have zero seconds to hide.

“how the fuck am i supposed to cover these? they’re right in the center, peter!” you panic, your heart starting to race as peter fumbles for a dish towel. that’s the best he could come up with? “no!” you toss it back at him. he throws it on the counter with a pained look. tony and steve make their way over to you.

“oh, hush. a couple of deadly pesticides won’t shake me, stevey boy,” tony insists and takes another big bite of his apple. steve huffs in disapproval and crosses his arms. “you’re a big baby, tony. if you’re not gonna do the right thing, at least buy organic-“ with the world’s longest sigh, tony chucks his apple into the open garbage can.

“there. no more apple discourse.” steve shakes his head at your dad’s behavior. “that was a waste. you could’ve finished it.” “not with your nagging into my literal ear.” steve raises his hands in surrender before making his way out of the kitchen. tony side steps past him and over to you. “enough of that now. let’s have a welcome home hug from my girl.”

you share a look with peter, a look of pure fear that’s in both of your eyes. he’ll definitely notice the hickeys if he gets that close to you. he holds out his arms expectantly while peter scratches the back of his own neck. “sure, dad. welcome home.” an awkward smile on your lips, you bury your face in your dad’s chest and wrap your arms around him in one motion. this way, he didn’t have time to see you from too close up.

peter exhales in relief at the narrowly avoided disaster. that’s until tony makes a request. “missed me that much, kiddo, huh? come out of there.” “but, i’m so comfortable. i wanna stay like this,” you insist, a niceness to your voice tony immediately sees through. he drops his arms from around you, eyeing peter suspiciously, who averts his gaze to the floor.

“nuh uh, you did something. both of you,” your dad states, taking a step to stand between you and peter. peter gulps down a breath before speaking. “mr. stark, it was-“ tony holds up a hand. “don’t worry, kid. i’ll figure it out.”

he gives peter a proper stare, searching him for clues of some sort. it’s a good thing he isn’t wanda because the details of your night would have been exposed. he couldn’t find anything, so now it’s your turn. he’s a little disappointed you’re the one hiding something.

“oh, y/n. not you,” tony sighs as he gives you a looking over. he starts with your face, your eyes following down as his do. it’s when he gets just past your chin that he sees them. the little hickeys littering your skin, some already deep shades of purple. he rips off his glasses in disbelief.

“absolutely not.” he closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with the same hand his glasses are in. “i’m not seeing this. i’m not seeing this if i don’t look.” you scoff at his reaction. “dad, you know we’re together. you can’t expect us to not...” “don’t say it,” tony begs, getting the urge to hurl his half eaten apple. he turns and faces peter.

“parker, you really did all of that?” peter only blinks, nervously meeting the eyes of his mentor. “to my daughter?” tony adds on to scare him even more. “i- i-“ a burst of frustration comes out of peter. “you left two teenagers alone the whole night. what’d you think was gonna happen?” he’s shocked at his own words, his face showing it. tony raises his eyebrows. both your hands cover your mouth.

not wanting to deal with peter, tony addresses you instead. “i don’t care how you do it, cover those up. don’t let me see them ever again. understood?” you nod a good amount of times and reach for peter’s hand. he’s about to give it, then tony glares down at what’s happening. peter pulls back immediatelty. “understood. we’ll, um, do better next time,” you agree, tony winching at the idea of a next time.

“you, parker... treat a lady with a little more respect, eh?” tony clicks his tongue at him. he’s referring to all the hickeys. peter’s lips form a line, a sarcastic one that says oh well. “i tried, mr. stark, but y/n wanted me to-“ “christ, that’s enough.” tony furiously shakes his head and starts to walk away from you two. “never again!”

you’re thanking god when he sets off for the living room, you hiding your face in peter’s chest, his face in your hair. “that was terrible. that was the worst thing ever,” you say into him. “i’m sorry, baby. we gotta be more careful.”

it’s not over yet because then, the toaster dings. you’d completely forgotten about the waffles. you and peter both separate with your millionth shared look of terror. tony comes rushing back into the room, very familiar with that noise.

“first you destroy my daughter, now my toaster? pete... you’re in for it, kid.”

[sabo-has-my-heart]

Regretful Actions Option B: Unforgivable

Option B (or 2, whatever) to the Law HCs about him accidentally hitting the reader. Sad ending

Warnings: talks of abuse, toxic relationships, my personal opinions, break ups, angst, violence, hitting

Word Count: 920

Once more, a healthy relationship with Law is difficult. He doesn’t open up easily, he’s standoffish, etc, etc.

It can still be healthy if you work at it, but the man doesn’t strike me as the type to be terribly open about his feelings or past.

So it’s going to take some time for him to open up to you.

He also strikes me as the type to waaaay overwork himself. (I don’t remember them outright stating that he overworks himself, but I can totally see him being a workaholic).

The beginning of your relationship was… bumpy.

Frequent arguments about him overworking.

Frequent arguments about how he never talked to you about anything.

You got through to him eventually, but it took quite a bit of time.

We’ve seen Law fight, we know he’s not exactly a pacifist.

That being said, he’s not particularly violent either.

He’s also usually pretty calm and level headed (Doflamingo excluded)

So for him to hit you, holy shit!

It’s not that either of you was being particularly unreasonable, just that things got a little too heated.

We know he cares, we see it all the time with his crew, but his kind of caring might not be your kind of caring (ah love languages)

Even still, most of the time (when he’s not around Kid and Luffy) he’s fairly level-headed.

He can usually handle this kind of thing, but, well….

Yeah, he hits you.

Still instant regret, like, sooo much regret.

You just… walk away, no words, just walk away. 

Law feels terrible!

Just because this isn’t the happy ending doesn’t mean he’s some malicious guy who likes hurting people (he’s not Doffy)

Even still, it has you evaluating your entire relationship.

Every. Little. Thing! 

And your friends and family don’t exactly help him.

They urge you to leave him.

First he’s cold and now he’s hit you? How dare he!

Okay, so they don’t know Law’s love languages, which makes them think he’s kind of a dick.

But they really do just want the best for you.

It takes you quite some time to think.

Once again, you do talk to the Heart Pirate crew.

With, again, Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo being Law’s biggest supporters.

While you’re evaluating your relationship, you take note of every single red flag.

Big or small, you take everything into account.

I mean, nobody’s perfect, he’s going to have both good and bad points, but you’re weighing whether or not to stay with him. 

Him hitting you is, obviously, a pretty big red flag, even if he didn’t mean to.

Like, what if things get out of control again? Will he hit you again?

What if your relationship isn’t as healthy as you thought it was?

Has he been manipulating you this entire time?

Have there been things you just haven’t noticed?

Not to mention, he hit you over something simple.

All you were doing was caring for his well-being.

You don’t deserve to be hit over worrying about him!

Well, okay, you don’t deserve to be hit at all! (I’m a big supporter of the only good reason to hit/hurt somebody is in self-defense/defending others)

So if he hit you over something like this, what else will he potentially hit you over?

After a while, you go home to think.

You just need some time away from him, time where you aren’t around him or his biggest supporters.

Okay, yes, you’re going home where his biggest haters are, but avoiding people in town is easier than avoiding people you live with/are visiting.

Eventually, you do decide to leave him.

What you realized after evaluating your entire relationship… wasn’t good.

It either wasn’t as healthy as you thought or it was starting to become toxic, or even you maybe just decided to make your friends and family happy (I hope this isn’t the case, please don’t leave a good relationship because your family says so)

Seriously, if it’s a truly healthy relationship don’t leave it because that’s what other people want. 

Leave a relationship because it’s toxic, unhealthy, or that’s what you want.

There are people out there (myself included) who would kill for a healthy, loving relationship. (Sorry I got off topic)

For the sake of this, let’s assume you found enough evidence that the relationship wasn’t as healthy as you thought.

So you leave him, him striking you was kind of the last straw (hat, lol 😆).

It forced you to evaluate everything and in the end it wasn’t actually as healthy as you thought it was. 

It’s true that your family and friends are happy about you leaving him.

They’re also sad though because, obviously, something like this is heartbreaking.

They don’t want to see you miserable, they just think that you needed to leave him because he hit you.

You’re super careful with relationships after that.

You take care to notice anything that might be particularly toxic.

You also weigh out every red flag.

Like, is this a negative trait I can deal with (a weird laugh, avoids eye contact, annoying slurping) or should I run as far and fast as I can (any sort of abuse (verbal, physical, emotional, etc), alcoholism, manipulation)?

All of the sad pandas! Law is heartbroken, you’re heartbroken, the Heart Pirate crew is sad you’re gone. Sad pandas everywhere! 

😞🐼😞🐼😞🐼😞🐼😞🐼😞🐼

But it’s healthier if you’re with someone who doesn’t hit you, isn’t toxic, loves you, etc.

Provided they actually love you and what not.

[clueless-content-creator]

I Just Wish...

Genre: Angst & Fluff

Pairing: (The Boyz) Idol Lee Juyeon x Non-Idol Gender Neutral Reader

Warnings: Mentions of feeling worthless, themes of a breakup.

"J-Juyeon?" You managed to whimper out, making him sit up in his bed. "Yes, sweetheart?" You turned his bedroom lights on, making him flinch from the brightness of them. Then chuckling, he held his arms out initiating for you to climb into bed with him but you hesitated, making your mind up to sit on the edge of the bed instead. As a result, he retracted his arms with a pout. "What's wrong baby?" You started to shake, remembering the nightmares you've been having recently. "I can't sleep. And I know that I can't stay with you but could you at least comfort me?" He sighs, knowing that you were talking about the staff members being strict and not allowing you anywhere near Juyeon, breaking his heart since he's in a happy secret relationship with you. Well, after this, a somewhat happy relationship. It's been a bumpy 4 years with him but you couldn't be more thankful to have him in your life. Before he debuted you were his number one supporter but now, not so much. Not because you didn't love him anymore or didn't care about his fame, you weren't allowed to. His members knew that he had a small crush on you before he debuted but when he did Sangyeon, the leader, gave him a good long lecture to hold back those feelings but that didn't go as planned. The only person who knew about pretty much everything was your bestie, Chanhee. Who, funnily enough, was in the same group. He was heartbroken and sometimes livid at the way the staff treated you. He still recalls when you were at a fan sign to support them and jokingly asked Juyeon if he was allowed to date and one of the staff called you a 'lost cause.' Which made your self-esteem plummet. But Juyeon always built it back up, no matter how many times the staff would yell at you for looking at him the wrong way or if he accidentally touched your hand. Even when Sangyeon would shout at him for even breathing in the same room as you he would still come back to you at the end of the day. It broke your heart knowing that you couldn't keep going like this even after the countless times you'd convinced yourself that he'll come out to the public and protect you from all the hate, it never happened. You couldn't blame him, you knew it was a tough spot to be in and you always begged him just to end it and break up with you but he would refuse every time. So, this brings us back to the current spot you're in, sitting at the edge of his bed, tears streaming down your face simply because you couldn't sleep next to him even for one night. He stroked your back gently, "You can fall asleep in my arms baby. Don't worry about anything." And you did, but unfortunately didn't get to hear what he said after. "Even if it's only for a minute, I'd cherish it like it was my last moment alive." He whispered against your head, kissing your temple softly. "I just wish that we could've spent our whole lives together, it's such a shame we can't do that. But I won't continue to let others tear us apart, I'll always be here, even if it isn't in visible form."