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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 10 months

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The musical episode.

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin guangyao #nie mingjue #Remember jin guangyao: If you do any treachery you will face the wrath of five horses.#When are the horses going to come into play? You'll see.#s2.ep8 had beautiful music... I listened to it on loop while drawing!#Good music to chill out to before you fly into a rage.#This episode really cements how JGY's mind works - It is a matter of long-term outcomes at the sake of nearly everything else.#Morals do not matter to him if the outcome is more favourable.#and at the center of it all - he has learned that the only person he can truly trust is himself.#In turn - the only person his actions benefit are himself.#He will do anything and everything it takes to reach a position of power - not just for the power. But because it means safety.#Because it was something he was denied and the idea of not having control in his life again is unforgivable.#'Happiness' isn't a goal. We are looking at someone still stuck at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.#Everything and everyone is a piece in a game. Bonds and friendships are assets. People are dispensable.#He wants to climb for the sake of climbing. He wants praise and recognition because he feels it is deserved. It's all so hollow.#We could go deeper into his psyche on this.#But these are also tags under a comic in which 'evil penis music' is the punchline.

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inkskinned · 1 year

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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

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platoapproved · 4 months

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Yes, maître.

#interview with the vampire #iwtvedit #loumand #louis de pointe du lac #armand #iwtv s2 #iwtv #INSANE BEHAVIOR when you remember that louis is sitting there with his OWN UMBRELLA #anyway i was losing my mind so much that this moment hadn't be giffed that i RELEARNED HOW TO MAKE GIFS #if they are not the most beautiful that is why

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ruubesz-draws · 5 months

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Godzilla but it's GTA

Poor Tiamat... they did her dirty :(

It's okay Tiamat! I'll make your gijinka look beautiful!

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98chao · 27 days

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my pitch for a season 2 of last cookie standing

#i only drew unserious shitposts but you can imagine the actual dynamics between the characters here #at first i put poison mushroom instead of choco werehound but remembered children werent allowed on the show #so our beautiful princess is here instead #the idea was “bunch of normal characters and then one of the beasts is just There and no one knows theyre a beast”#and i think sm is the only one who would insert himself into a gameshow just for fun.. whether he wins or not is another story #i think out of everyone here raisin and rebel are probably the only ones with altruistic intentions for wanting 1mil crystals lol #share it among ppl who need it #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #crk #last cookie standing #im probably gonna hit tag limit ill just tag the charas i drew #shadow milk cookie #raspberry cookie #shining glitter cookie #black lemonade cookie #wildberry cookie #crunchy chip cookie #glitternade #wildchip #my art #shitpost #clip studio paint #2024

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andy-clutterbuck · 7 months

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The Ones Who Live - 1x01 - Years

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waspgrave · 4 months

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remember character pages? whatever happened to us all advertising our character pages for people to wander over towards and go 'oooooo' at like they're at an aquarium?? where is the creative whimsy to fawn over together

#i'm playing around on toyhouse and its fun...but i'm determined to learn how to code #every code is beautiful but nothing is Perfect. for ME.#i'll use one and then sigh longingly at ideas beyond my skill level #maybe dragon age will make my beloved mutuals make character pages again #we could all do it together. Like Old Times...you remember old times right guys...#prawn posts

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serendipnpipity · 3 months

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Thank you for living your truth, @danielhowell. You've helped me live mine, too.

Image Description under the cut:

[illustrated YouTube notification: “Daniel Howell uploaded ‘Basically I’m Gay’”]

Five years ago today, I was lying on the couch in my family home, watching the words of a person I had grown to find pieces of myself in as he bared his soul to the world just to make somebody like me feel a little less alone.

[girl lying on her stomach on the couch, looking at phone]

He said something at the end of that video,

[Illustrated video screenshot of Dan saying “You are valid. It gets so much better.”]

And I’ll never forget hearing those words. Never forget drying my tears, quickly, before my parents came back.

[Three panels: girl wiping tears from face, putting phone down, silhouette walking through front door]

See, the girl on that couch was planning far, far away futures. She couldn’t believe his words just yet, but now she could hope to.

[open shoebox with rainbow flag inside]

Five years later, today, I wish I could tell her:

You don’t have to move halfway across the country to set a flag out on your desk.

[school building and stack of books]

Your parents are coming over tomorrow to help bring you home for the summer. (They’re only an hour’s car ride away.)

[cartoon sun and car]

And see that?

[rainbow flag in a mug with a cat whiskers design]

Yeah, that’s the one decoration you haven’t packed yet.

And that something he said at the end of the video, I still quote it to this day.

[computer playing the Dan birthday livestream with "Misty" on a Zoom call in the corner]

Better yet, I believe it now.

[same girl, older and with shorter hair, holding mug with flag and looking back at someone off-camera that’s saying “Ready to go home?”]

Happy five years of Basically, I’m Gay!

#dan and phil #phan #dnp #daniel howell #danisnotonfire #basically i'm gay #happy birthday BIG!!!#ser sketches #lmao guess who found no less than four typos just now (fixed 'em!!)#thank you everyone for your kind words <3 #happy pride month!!!#I feel like I should note that as beautiful as this story sounds #another reason I remember it so vividly is I should have been practicing piano????#but since Oct/Nov 2018 I had gotten into the habit of checking YouTube every five minutes between playing pieces...#and that's how I caught the upload in time.

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totalswag · 3 months

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Love your writing! So good!! Could you do one where the reader and Rafe have not been dating for long, only for about two weeks or so, and she is very insecure and doesn´t understand why he ever approached her to ask her out in the first place. She isn´t the most outgoing and thinks she is quite plain looking, comparing herself to all the much prettier girls (in her opinion) at parties that she evidently thinks he will leave her for and so she she starts to distance herself to make it hurt less

unworthy doubts — RAFE CAMERON

authors note first off, thank you so much. you don’t know how much that means to me. to all of you reading this right now; please know how important you're in this world. youre beautiful on the inside and outside in your own unique way 🤍.

summary questioning and comparing yourself to other girls while wondering why your boyfriend, rafe cameron, chose you.

warnings insecure, comparing, mentions of parties, crying, doubt.

Rafe Cameron and you started dating for almost a month; it’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a relationship. Although it’s in the early stages of your relationship, you haven’t felt this way.

However, your insecurities felt like they'd been with you forever.

Rafe's confidence and charisma seemed to effortlessly command whatever room he entered. You felt invisible; blending into the background. Comparing yourself to other girls at parties; pretty smile, makeup, etc.

What could rafe see in you?

The worries had recently gotten stronger, a constant voice in the back of your head. When you saw Rafe taking to someone or laughing too hard at someone’s joke, the voice whispers became louder.

You stood against the railing of Tannyhill watching at the sunset in your own thoughts. The breeze felt nice and it felt like good time to enjoy the moment.

"Hey," Rafe's voice interrupted your thoughts, making you jump slightly. He joined you at the railing with a troubled expression on his face. "You have been quiet recently. Is everything alright?

Rafe noticed your change in attitude in the previous three days. He had asked if everything was fine, but you refused to talk about it. Tonight, he wants answers. He's concerned about you.

You forced a smile, but it did not reach your eyes. "Yeah, I am fine." Just... exhausted, I suppose."

Rafe did not appear convinced. He stretched out and carefully tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "You know you can speak with me, right? If something is bothering you, please let me know.”

Your heart sunk as you heard those words. Deep down, you want to open up to him and express your feelings. You don't want to come across as undesirable and make him think differently of you.

You felt words spilling out, but you remained silent.

"Y/N, I feel like you're pulling away from me." "Is it something I said or did?" He creaked "Please let me know, baby."

"It's not you, Rafe," you eventually confessed, the words rushing out before you could stop them. "It's me." I just don't understand why you chose me. I am not like the other gals. I'm not as attractive, outgoing, or—"

Rafe cut you off, his eyes wide with disbelief. "Is that what you think? That I don't realize how magnificent you are?"

Rafe's thoughts were all over the place. Seeing tears gather in the corner of your eyes caused him to cry.

You shrugged your shoulders, feeling tears form in your eyes, and down your cheeks. Not bothering drying them off.

"It's difficult for me to not to think about that when I'm constantly comparing myself to these girls" you ramble on when Rafe cuts you off.

Rafe approached, holding your face in his hands. "Look at me," he murmured quietly, waiting for you to meet his eyes. "I asked you out because I like who you are. You are nice and intelligent, and you make me laugh like no one else can. You are attractive to me both inside and out. And if you can't see it yet, I'll spend as much time as necessary to show you."

His words struck you like a tsunami, removing any doubts and anxieties that had been building up. You took a nervous breath as tears finally poured over.

You bury your face against his chest, letting out your sobs and putting your arms around his body; Rafe gently strokes your back, rocking you both side to side and whispers nice words into your ear to calm you down.

"I can't afford to lose you," you whine against his chest.

"Baby, you will not lose me; I will be with you every step of the way," Rafe says before kissing the top of your head several times.

my taglist!

✰ if you would like to be added to my taglist and be notified whenever i post please let me know in the comments or in my ask box. if there's a line across your name that means i couldn't find your account.

@runningfrom2am @winterrrnight @chenslucy @rosezza @solanathascientst @diqldrunks

#drew starkey/rafe cameron 🍒#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron imagines #rafe outer banks #rafe cameron outer banks #rafe obx #outerbanks rafe #rafe imagine #rafe cameron x female reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x kook!reader #rafe cameron blurb #sweet!rafe cameron #remember youre beautiful inside and outside 💕💞💓💗💖💘💝

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ascendingconures · 1 year

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spooky reminder that i made a VR map of the Magnus Institute you can go explore on vrchat. Its interactable. Its unhinged. its buggy. its full off references. dont take it too seriously.

#i forgot i deleted my old account and this post got yeeted #i wanna make the tunnels beneath it eventually #also finish elias' office and fill artefact storage with more stuff #you can go in the coffin btw. you do get stuck if you do #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #i am so proud of jons office in this it is.. beautiful #martin blackwood #tim stoker #michael distortion #trying to remember other characters i have reffed in this map #sasha james #the michael door is on the michael avatar and not part of the map sadly #im not good at vr photography/video recording. can you tell

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elysianymph · 2 years

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james is very fascinated by muggle cameras. lily and regulus notice this of course and lily pitches an idea: to get james a camera for his birthday. they save up the money they need for a higher quality camera and wrap it up in a fancy box and present it to him on his birthday. the smile james gives them is worth every penny they spent.

they expected the obsession that came after. james took his camera everywhere, always taking pictures, not just of the the scenery or himself, but of his friends and family and most importantly of lily and regulus. what they didn't expect was that james had all of their photos printed and compiled them into an album, decorated it and drew little hearts and stars and flowers on it and wrote down little notes of what had happened the day the photos were taken. he revealed this album to them on their anniversary as a shared gift.

some of the many pictures james has taken of his lovers:

#regulus paints his lovers #lily writes poems about their beauty and love #and james photographs them #in a world where all three of them die in the first war these pieces are all harry has left #fuck i made it sad #remember the album hagrid gives harry in the first movie? yeah thats the album james made for them #loving someone so much you want to immortalize their beauty and existence <\3 #im gonna go cry now #jegulily #jegulus #jily #regulily #james potter #lily evans #regulus black #marauders #marauders era

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luhman16 · 4 months

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Saw a post earlier about software and hardware (slightly edited)

#luh's drawings #art #drawing #nine sols #ninesols #九日 #nine sols yi #nine sols kuafu #nine sols shuanshuan #nine sols ruyi #nine sols kuafy #im gonna change the ship name from kuafi to kuafy just so its easier to tell apart from yi and ji and im like the only one using it on here #so i can basically able to do anything and make the rules lol #AGAIN SORRY about the suggestive joke. i dont usually make them so i feel awkward posting one but its chill they are 500+ years old #at first the only punchline was just the im software but then huh- yeah you can guess the rest (kuafy mind virus)#and hes whispering the joke to kuafu #yi is like damn that beautiful is just so darn soft holllyyy #Drawing solarians with tails REMEMBER WHAT THEY TOOK FROM US GHAAAA i think they should have tails

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hey-jac · 17 days

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Tumblr, can you do something for me? Can you please leave a flower for my cousin, who died by suicide a year ago?

You can do this one of three ways:

Leave a flower on his Find a Grave page. (This link will take you to an external website. Note that in order to leave a flower this way, you must have an account with Find a Grave.)

Reblog this post with with a flower in your tags.

Reply to this post with a flower.

Here are some flowers you can copy/paste: ✿❀❁🌸🌺🌻🌼🌷🌹

If you are reblogging or replying, please feel free to also use one or more of the additional emojis beneath the Keep reading cut. (They represent some of the good memories from our childhood together.)

Any kind messages are also appreciated. It has been a year ago today (September 9, 2024), and I am struggling.

Activities

🎮 Playing Video Games 🚲 Riding Bikes 🐸 Catching Toads; Raising Frogs 🌌 Visiting the Planetarium 🎡 Visiting the Amusement Park 🎢 Riding Roller-coasters 🛟 Visiting the Water Park 🏊 Taking Swimming Lessons; Going to the Pool 🛼 Visiting the Skating Rink 🚂 Visiting the Train Museum; Living Near the Railroad Tracks 🛝 Visiting the Park 🏸 Playing Badminton (But Making it Up) 🎯 Playing Darts (The Very Pointy Kind) 🚚 Using Everything as a Playground (Including the Moving Trucks)

Video Games

👾 Arcade Games; Atari; Space Invaders 🧩 Banjo-Kazooie (N64) 🍔 Burgertime (NES) 🦍 Diddy Kong Racing (N64); Donkey Kong Country (SNES) 🐲 Dragon Warrior (NES) 🍖 The Legend of Zelda (NES) 🍞 Quest 64 (N64) 🍄 Super Mario Bros 1 & 2 (NES); Mario 64 (N64)

TV & Movies

💭 Animaniacs (1993-1998) 🦆 Darkwing Duck (1991-1992); DuckTales (1987-1990) 💔 Dragonheart (1996) 🐳 Free Willy (1993) 🧚 Hook (1991) 💋 Indiana Jones (original movies, 1981-1989) 🏺 Jason and the Argonauts (1963) 🦖 Jurassic Park (1993) 🦁 The Lion King (1994); Timon & Pumbaa (1995-1999) 👽 Men in Black (1997) 💥 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (1993-1996) 🐁 Pinky and the Brain (1995-1998) 🔮 Sinbad (movies by Columbia Pictures, 1958-1977) 🌟 Star Wars (original trilogy, 1977-1983) 🐻 TaleSpin (1990-1991) 🐢 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987-1996) 🧨 Tiny Toon Adventures (1990-1995) 🤠 They Call Me Trinity (1970); Trinity Is Still My Name (1971) 🍫 Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971) 🐬 Zeus and Roxanne (1997)

#remembering the dead #grief #suicide #my little cousin #had the most beautiful smile #we were '90s kids #tumblr i love you #don't let me down

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topnotchquark · 7 months

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Nico saying that Lewis gives his daughters boxes of presents every Christmas just got caught in my mind.

Imagine you were a mixed race boy born in Hertfordshire, different from everyone else around you. Bullied in school, being raised by your father to compete in a sport where money is very much of essence and you and your family do not have a lot of it. And then you meet this other boy who comes from the kind of life you dream to live one day. You're friends and fierce competitors. You find solace in each other. You visit Monaco for the first time with your friend, dreaming up the life you will have when you make it, when you beat out of the mould that the world thought it could capture you in.

And then you two grow through the ranks and you're at the pinnacle of your sport and you have what it takes to win and the world recognises that you can win. And you win. You win with your friend and fiercest competitor by your side fighting with you for those wins, and this fighting ruins something something that was valuable to both of you when you were still innocent and unsullied by life.

But despite everything that went into the doing and undoing of this relationship, you still realise that this person you once called a friend has a life and family beyond your bitter dynamic. He has children, and children need love and affection and good memories. And you're a better man now so you understand that. So you make sure the kids get gifts on Christmas. And you make sure of it every year. Afterall, if you met someone you loved deeply when you were both kids, wouldn't you feel a pang of nostalgia when they had kids. Wouldn't you try to extend the warmth that you couldn't find for your friend to his children. Afterall, whatever happens during childhood basically remains with you forever.