#rewatching bad timing and my brain suddenly went wait !!

[radiantaerynsvn]

my silly little brain is currently connecting farscape and the x files, as in farscape season 4 ended with john and aeryn in a row boat and the x files i want to believe ended with mulder and scully in a row boat and now i'm feeling a little crazy

[therealmofadisneyfangirl]

Kim Possible

Tick-Tick-Tick Episode #1

Hi! My name is Deanna Winchester mulitfandom (more then one fandom) blogger I decided to

create my very first blog post review of Disney’s Kim Possible.

My author block delayed this long running pop culture review.

This is actually the first episode to ever aired but of course it aired out of order on the Disney Channel.

It first aired on the Disney channel USA on June 14, 2002. Toon Disney premiere: April 11, 2005.

Kim Possible was and is my childhood show it amazing to review all episodes. This is a fun rewatch that I actually enjoyed.

Kim Possible is one of my favorite Disney animated character, it exciting to watch this show and revisit it.

I rewatch this show i never thought though to do an episode review. This is a good idea this is also my comforting show when adulting goes too far.

The episode Disney plus synopsis is I insert a screenshot down below

We first introduced to Kim Possible our heroine, the main character but also a spy.

She also has normal life as a high schooler but has no alter ego. She is a cheerleader.

She describes as she can do anything!

Anyway let begin the first episode!

The episode start with Kim Possible anxiously being late as she rush past several people as she went to her locker as she waiting for her assignment to be printed. She is anxiously like come on print please.

Only you think it her assignment to her confusion no it just her best friend Ron Stoppable printing cheat codes for a video game. Kim rightfully so is overwhelmed she has 30 seconds to print her History assignment she is annoyed by Ron. Ron was a comedian in this episode. Ron was so entertaining.

Course as the real paper was about to print there is a paper jam, Ron is nothing to fear Rufus. The viewers are like who the hell is Rufus, it turned out Rufus is Ron’s pet naked mole rat. Kim had doubts until Rufus did his magic, the paper was saved. Yay! Kim is excited and happy that her paper is saved.

Until Kim’s luck was put to test. Kim is stressed and is under lot of pressure she can’t afford to be late.

Unfortunately she rush into the school grumpy staff member Mr Barkin.

It turned out revealed by the audience Kim has been not late for third time she is also on this guy bad side a recipe for disaster. Kim much to her dismay, is ordered detention.

Cut to the badass theme song opening. Christina is such a good singer.

Meanwhile at Possible house we are introduced to Kim family. Her younger mischievous geniuses twin brothers Jim and Tim are introduced her parents are introduced Kim herself revealed the facts her parents are brain surgeon and rocket scientist. Kim told her parents the truth she is not happy she got detention what she is good at. Kim you are good at being a spy badass!

One of her catchphrase no big was introduced

We are introduced to the first time of Wade and the communicator.

Wade assign her to her mission in South America much to her parents dissatisfaction however she gave her puppy dog eyes which be a running gag for the series

She can go yay!

New details are revealed the villain characters Shego all in the first episode.

Kim is not aware who she is yet like who is that she is good.

Kim and Ron visit the professor lab I assume it was emergency. 🚨

Kim ask what was stolen even the professor does not know

Something is fishy. Kim and Ron will solve it. Kim suddenly has an idea she saw on the footage of Shego stealing the device.

The device project is revealed to be the Tick. Course Ron screamed it brought back bad case of summer camp memories which you believe it or not will be foreshadowing for later Season one episode.

That camp and Ron are connected my dear readers. Camp Wannaweep and Ron are sinisterly connected.

The tick was not alive according to the professor it was a digital blue print it was a cyber genetic Tick will be in comparison to the real thing. The professor created a robotic tick. Ron ask why

Professor say he have lot on his time fair enough.

Who will need a robot tick? The key to your question Kim is your arch nemesis villain DR. Drakken

Cut to his evil lair

Shego fell from a trap door. Cut to Shego and Drakken dialogue which is the best banter ever.

Kim say she has wrap up the conversation soon due to detention. Wade keep teasing her until Kim say to Wade can we continue the mission. Wade was like okay.

Then Wade revealed more information about Shego to Kim i forgot to add

Drakken is furious that he reveal his evil plan to Shego to build a robotic tick.

Course Kim was interrupt by Barkin. Kim found herself in detention shenanigan ensures.

Funniest moment in this episode the clock is messed up, Kim had good dialogue herself.

Course leads Rufus to the rescue who causes a distraction. Kim managed to escaped.

She thanks Ron for rescuing her with the best plan out letting Rufus out! Course he gave credit to Rufus who was the hero,

Wade access more information about Drakken and Shego that lair is in the Caribbean. Wade say myth say the island is haunted. Much to poor Rufus who hide in the soda cup. Ron was excited about new gadgets. Ron get blasted by the gadget that disguise as lipstick for being nosy. Rightfully so.

Banter between Kim and Ron, Ron is now scared of spy gadget. Kim assures him it just regular makeup

Cut to Drakken lair. Shego shouts intruder alert course Drakken is in his own world.

Kim and Ron get captured course Drakken heard of the teen heroine Kim Possible,

Not Ron. Poor Ron. Chum is friend it least they know you and Kim are team Ron. Course Kim literally does not know who these guys are. Now it started to rang a bell. Kim say you something that does not belong to you

Course cut to Kim and Ron threatened by villains threats to be shark food. Course Ron is a comic relief he has good one liners. Kim saved the day and use the spy gadget on the shark. Kim escaped much to the villains dismay.

Shego does not know what nano technology is.

Course Shego found out they escaped cut to her and Kim fight sequence, Kim saved the day by using her spy tech the lair exploded, she and Ron jump. Mission Impossible vibes. Kim is in her cheerleading uniform. Once again Kim speak to the professor, the professor thank her. She say no problem course Barkin is not stupid another round of detention. Kim is not pleased. The nano tick somehow appeared on Kim nose. Kim escaped because it emergency

Course Drakken is on her trail, Barkin is on her trail. They leave on Ron’s scooter who is not fast. It chaotic sequence. Kim saved Barkin because Drakken is trying to get her with this evil genius ray. It a mess.

They end up at Bueno nacho. Kim has the best sarcastic dialogue at Ron who is focused on food.

Ron plus food who is shocked. Course Drakken and Shego argued like a married couple.

Course Shego and Kim have their first real fight, Wade trying to get nano robot off Kim.

Kim got the upper hand Shego end up on Barkin.

Stakes are high. It intense. Kim nose will blown. Wade is problem solving except Ron has an idea. Diablo sauce he put on Kim nose which finally is off her nose. She threw tick at Drakken device which go Boom!

Which lead to Drakken iconic villain phrase quote. The police capture Drakken and unconscious Shego long story got knocked out by Kim detention associates.

Kim is back at detention which lead to most iconic moments tough but fair call back from early scene go.

Funny moment assures , Kim is getting her detention associates now friends a manicure and Barkin get outnumber. Ron say Kim factor is not a rule for detention. The episode end cut to iconic end credits of the closingcredits.

The episode was really fun I enjoy it i rate it 10 out of 10.

💯💯💯

The cartoon Kim Possible rules!

Seen you all next time for episode two review.

Enjoy! I hope you all have a great afternoon.

[airenyah]

Hi, I came to report to you that your ql music research is rubbing off on me 😅 I was watching ep 2 of Ploy's Yearbook (for Joong and Namtan 😍), when suddenly I recognized a piece of music!! But I couldn't place it, so I tried to remember which series have I watched so many times that I'm familiar with the music. I reached the tentative conclusion that it must be from SIMM or possibly from Hidden Agenda (but I definitely connected it to JoongDunk). Maybe I need to do a complete rewatch of both series to confirm, what a hardship 😂 I just wanted to tell you that maybe aside from being a JD vampire bl truther, this will be your other legacy

oh my god, that's amazing!!!!!! i LOVE to hear that!!!!! i'm actually planning on making a side blog focused on shared royalty free music in thdramas, but that's something that is earliest going to happen in the summer if not in the winter. i wanna work my way through some of my fave shows first, because those are the soundtracks i'm more likely to recognize and i just wanna have them on my google doc before i go put everything in tumblr posts (which is also gonna take forever bc my google doc is currently at 100 pages worth of entries sjkfkjsfdj)

aaaaanyway, re: music in ploy's yearbook

was it by any chance desert caravan by ludvig moulin? i haven't watched ep2 yet (i was actually about to go watch it when your message came in and i couldn't help answering it first kjdkfdg), but i did see a clip of it earlier in jimmy's insta story and the scene had this music in the background. it has come up in episode 1 already as well. if it was this, then good job on connecting it to a joongdunk show because it actually has come up on hidden agenda a couple of times! i'm still missing the last 3 episodes on my music collection, but these are the time stamps so far:

ep1 pt1 - 0:13

ep3 pt2 - 0:20

ep4 pt1 - 4:32

ep8 pt4 - 8:08

And here are the time stamps for ep1 of ploy's yearbook:

ep1 pt1 - 11:10 / 17:41

ep1 pt2 - 1:50

ep2 pt1 - 9:38

ep2 pt2 - 0:27

ep2 pt3 - 3:09

ep2 pt4 - 3:07

you might also have recognized get up on that horse by spring gang as the music that plays in bad buddy at the beginning of ep7 when pat is in the car (ep7 pt1 - 1:20) or also in ep12 when patpran claim they broke up (ep12 pt3 - 3:45). oh but wait, it's definitely connected to joongdunk, you said? well, as it turns out this one has actually come up in star in my mind a lot. like. A LOT:

ep1 pt2 - 5:55

ep2 pt1 - 4:00

ep2 pt4 - 1:02

ep3 pt2 - 1:15

ep3 pt3 - 1:55

ep3 pt4 - 1:17

ep6 pt2 - 1:23

ep7 pt2 - 1:48

ep7 pt4 - 0:48

ep8 pt1 - 4:33 / 5:41

ep8 pt3 - 5:07

and here are the time stamps for ep1 of ploy's yearbook again for reference:

ep1 pt1 - 13:00

ep1 pt2 - 2:26

ep2 pt1 - 8:37

and here, have a bonus because why the fuck not: moonshiner's turn by martin landström. this one has shown up in ep1 pt4 of both bad buddy as well as 23.5 degrees. also found in ep1 of ploy's yearbook at:

ep1 pt1 - 18:53

ep1 pt3 - 6:16

ep2 pt1 - 0:35 / 17:30

well, i'm gonna go watch the new episode now! feel free to check back on this post in a couple of hours, i might edit it or add a reblog with all my findings about the music in ep2 😂

edit:

i've added the ep2 time stamps to the aforementioned ones! and i found new music as well!!

maybe the one you recognized as a joongdunk series music in ep2 was winning hand by ealot. it came up in star in my mind a couple of times:

ep1 pt4 - 3:00

ep2 pt2 - 2:20

ep4 pt2 - 9:16

ep8 pt3 - 4:17

it featured in ep2 of ploy's yearbook at following timestamps:

ep2 pt1 - 16:58

ep2 pt3 - 3:45

and there was some more bad buddy music as well (diggin' the drama by the new fools) and it amazes me that my brain immediately went "we know this!!" considering it showed up in bad buddy exactly one single time (ep7 pt2 - 13:45). bad buddy really has wormed its way into my brain in every single aspect in the last two years huh djkfkjdfg. anyway you can find it in ep2 of ploy's yearbook at:

ep2 pt1 - 11:10

apart from these, there were also two pieces of music that sounded increeeedibly familiar to me but neither shazam nor google could come up with any results! i'm gonna have to click through my "not found" list at some point, maybe they're already there. here are the time stamps if you're curious:

first one i can't find (ep2 pt3 - 2:06)

second one i can't find (ep2 pt3 - 7:09)

this is gonna bug me for a while....

[discotreque]

Red Yarn & Thumbtacks Into Darkness

We all know I can’t predict plot points to save my life, and my track record w/r/t this season of Picard is quite bad so far… but neither can I stop myself from formulating wild theories about where this whole hot mess is going. And maybe it’s just the meandering narrative, but the show keeps getting opportunities to disprove these, and it just hasn’t, which means now I have to inflict them on y’all so my head doesn’t explode. Buckle up!

Theory #1: Remmick’s Revenge

(Speaking of exploding heads…)

The thing in Picard 1.0’s brain that isn’t Irumodic Syndrome after all? The thing that’s also in his DNA, and has therefore has been passed on to Jack? The thing that isn’t part of Picard 2.0’s positronic body? The thing that seems to be beckoning Jack, with creepy red organic imagery, to join/connect with some kind of hive mind?

It’s one of the parasites from “Conspiracy” in TNG S1. It got into Picard during that episode, but after the other parasites were exposed and killed, it went dormant and waited for a better opportunity to strike, rewriting his DNA to make sure he’d be an ideal host when the time came.

But that time never came, and the DNA modifications and/or the presence of the parasite slowly damaged Picard’s brain (in a way similar to Irumodic Syndrome, I guess), which eventually killed his original body. And when Section 31 retrieved that body to take to Daystrom Station, the parasite was still inside: maybe dead too, maybe still dormant, but nothing that a nice fresh sample of modified, ideal-host DNA from Jack couldn’t fix.

Whoever’s giving Vadic her orders when she talks to the hand isn’t (just) trying to reignite the Dominion War—they’re trying to resurrect the parasite conspiracy.

Theory #2: Lateral Advancement

I loved that Lower Decks S3 presented not being in Starfleet as an equally valid and (at least potentially) equally rewarding path for Mariner. Obviously she chose Starfleet, but they made the alternative appealing enough that the obvious choice still had some weight to it. And every week I’m getting more and more sure that PIC S3 is mounting a similar challenge to the idea that every Starfleet officer, if they survive long enough, will—and wants to—become captain of their own ship.

Because listen, I love Shaw as much as the next damaged bitch who confuses “asshole” for “charm,” but babygirl does not seem like he’s thriving in the big chair. The only times we ever see him remotely comfortable—and neither lashing out nor squirming with the effort not to—is when he’s forced back into his old grease-monkey role.

If Captain Shaw survives the season—and at this point, it feels like he probably will—I think (and also hope) that he’s going to transfer out of Command entirely and become the first four-pip Chief Engineer since Scotty in the TOS movies. He and everyone around him would be so much happier.

Theory #3: Feint Praise

They had to know this season would be released weekly while they were writing it—like the seven preceding seasons of live-action New Trek were—so the fact that it’s obviously been written and edited for a binge-watch can only be deliberate sadism. Those fuckers.

However. Earlier this season, when I first watched 3.03, I thought it sucked pretty bad as a standalone episode: weird pacing, incomplete arcs, multiple anti-climactic lacks of payoff, etc. Then I rewatched it back-to-back with Episode 3.04 a week later, and realized 3.03 is actually a pretty decent first half of a two-part episode, and the absolutely outstanding second half corrected or cancelled out nearly every complaint I’d had anyway.

Well, here we are again, and I have a lot of complaints about 3.07. The pacing is weird, the character arcs feel incomplete at best, the amount of setup vs. payoff is way out of whack, and it seems to break some pretty fundamental rules of modern cinematic storytelling for no better reason than to suddenly start rushing this slow-ass plot along.

And all of those complaints are well within the ability of next week’s episode to retroactively address, if it’s indeed the second half to this week’s first. And especially so soon after my last volte-face, I’m more than comfortable giving them an extra week to dig themselves out of this one—they might actually pull it off.

[spacesaga]

New Moon Rewatch

I need a place to share my thoughts while I rewatch new moon!

Girl is so overdramatic about turning 18😭. Trust me no one feels adult at 18, you have time it’s okay

Edward is SO FINE? And for once he has the common sense telling her that her age is just fine. But also Edward can change me anytime

Idc Edward is so gentle(lack of better phrasing) to her, the things he says? Girl it’s giving me butterflies. To bad he leaves her in like 10 minutes

Edward throwing her into glass when there was a DROP of blood and making is worse is something else

OHHH so Bella saying that something is gonna separate them and the only way is to change her kinda just gives Edward the edge to leave. We know this decision has been premeditated since the accident in phoenix but this gave him a reason. I don’t like the fact he left but I understand why he did.

Edward leaving kills me, I know he did it to protect to and we all know he’s lying through his white ass teeth. But “I don’t Want you” after Bella finally feels wanted? I hate this for both parties. Edward cares deeply for Bella and doesn’t want anything to harm her and hurts himself. He leaves his own family for her pretty much. He wants her to have a normal life. But Bella, she knows she doesn’t fit with humans. She feels out of place. So finally found a world where she knows she belongs and it’s suddenly taken from her. Her depression makes a lot more sense. Edward should have been more gentle but his brain is permanently underdeveloped

Shout out to Charlie for caring for Bella so much

Yea Bella getting on the motorcycle of the dude who literally tried to ASSAULT HER?? While she was with her friend??? Dumbest decision this girl made and she’s a mom at 18

“Age is just a number baby what are you 40 now” 😭 pre werewolf Jacob <3

BELLA IS SO FINEE!!!!!

Mike is so… clueless 😭 Bella does not like your ass man

Jacob telling Bella that he loves her and will wait then immediately insulting her friend and ghosting her and she litteraly said “I don’t want you to go anywhere “ :/

Jacob saying Bella is a liar bc she kept the cullens secret when he is doing the same thing. And knowing how Eddy boy left her and leaves her in a similar way.

Bella going to a once full and beautiful meadow where her and Edward fell in love to a dead and dry place. Mirroring their relationship in a way. Then Edward appearing (seriously how does that happen) to her

I love Bella, slapping Sam just bc he was rude to her? That’s my girl.

Emily is so pretty

Just noticed the drastic difference between how Jacob and Edward dresses😭 is def bc of Alice and the era he grew up in

It’s kinda funny now Bella was so desperate to see Edward again she went cliff jumping which led to her reunion with Edward

Jacob knowing who was on the other line and not letting Bella speak to him for what? And saying that “he has a funeral to plan” letting Edward think that Bella is dead.

Edward may be trying to kill himself but DAMN he’s fine

Edward ready to end his existence just bc he thinks Bella is dead then upon seeing her just holds her and says heaven. Woo Lordy

Who did edwards makeup for the Italy scenes😭 it does not match the rest of his body. His face is super pale and his chest is tan - as I say that it get fixed in the next scene LMAOOO

AROO <3 he is an funky little man

Edward and Bella are so overdramatic as usual but they are together now they can be cringe together <3

Bella offering her life for Edward, I mean that way she gets what she wants (vampirism)

POOR CHARLIE all he wants is his daughter safe

And the scene where Edward is begging Bella for her forgiveness telling her how sorry he is and how he truly believed he did the right thing <3 I love them

ROSALIEEEEEEE ,I love her so much. She’s been hurt so much and yet she’s one of the strongest characters emotionally. She’s not mean to Bella. Bella just wants exactly what Rosalie wish she didn’t have

“Don’t make me choose, because it will be him. It will always be him” the moment she fell in love with Edward there was no other choice for her

[centroverted]

Getting to know your BL mutuals - 2022 Edition

Simple, answer the questions. @ some people. Include the tag 'g2ky BL Mutuals 2022'

ooo thank you for the tag @killerandhealerqueen, I've watched more bls than I remember this year so this will be fun trying to remember

What has been the BL that took you by surprise this year?

Oh geez, okay. Starting out with a tough one. Hm I'm going to go with Kinnporsche. Some people had been waiting a couple of years for it, while I didn't hear about it until I think a couple of months before it aired, so I went into it not expecting nearly as much as some others. Yet I'm still obsessed with it even months after it finished, so that really should go to show enough of how I feel about it.

What has been the BL that you felt disappointed with this year?

This is an even harder one. I think the one thing that comes to mind is Love In The Air. Now don't get me wrong, I really love it. But the ending pushed aside one couple for the other (again, I absolutely love that couple, but surely they could have tried to maybe start the second couple earlier so we could still have a focus on both of them for the second half of the show? This opinion of mine doesn't go for the plot itself though, as the show itself was really great and Fort and Peat deserve awards, honestly.

What has been your favorite BL this year?

I'm probably going to mention KinnPorsche to many times today, but oh well, yeah KinnPorsche has definitely been my favorite. I went into it only knowing about Kinn×Porsche, and yet came out completely obsessed with Vegas×Pete and Kim×Chay, who I didn't find out were actual things that happened until I was a couple of episodes into the show. Edit: That being the first episode Kim and Vegas appears, because if I'm honest they totally fit into the type of characters I love and I therefore fell for them the first second they were on my screen.

Favorite BL couples (not just 2022).

I'm just going to list a couple here, not in any particular order. Wangxian, VegasPete, KimChay, PrapaiSky, my brain is suddenly blanking on my ships, Gun×White, Yuezhi (did I get that right?), I know I'm missing some but I'm going to leave it at that.

If you had to suggest a BL for someone what would it be?

Oh this is hard. I want to say KinnPorsche but there's certain scenes that I-yeah maybe let's not introduce someone to bl with those scenes, hm? So my answer is Not Me. I never finished the last two episodes so I have to go rewatch it and finish that, but it was one it's way (if not already there) to one of my favorite bl's.

What's your non-BL favorite for this year?

Is it bad if I say that I haven't really watched many? Sandman was really good and I'm looking forward to s2, The Vampire Academy was alright for a book to show adaptation, I'm still in my Buddie (911) era.

Alright, I wrote too much so now I'm out. I'm always too nervous to tag people, but there's certain mutuals of mine who might see this, so if you do see this (and read all the way to the end) then I tag you~

[salsadips]

Love your work❤️❤️ I’m not sure if you write for Rafe but I you do, how about number 79 with him?✌🏼

To the beach - Rafe Cameron

I know you requested this such a long time ago and I'm sorry that I never got to it, but I haven't been on this app for so long and I just recently rewatched the show and wanted to write this<3

Prompt 79: "We'd make such a badass couple"

Prompts

Summary: you convince Rafe to go to the beach with you while you’re both as high as you can be

Warnings: drugs, swearing, violence (just a little fight were sexy Rafe kicks ass), a little sexual but nothing dangerous;)

Not my gif, creds to the owner

You had always been close with Sarah, ever since you'd met on the playground when you were both five. That meant you'd been to dinner at her house a hundred times and slept over at least a thousand times. Sarah was your best friend and the two of you were rarely seen without the other. 

It wasn't until about a year ago that you'd started noticing Rafe Cameron, Sarah's older brother. He'd always been around and he loved to make fun but you'd never seen him as anything more than Sarah's annoying brother. Last summer though, you'd suddenly realized how good-looking he actually was. It had been like a wake-up call for you. One day he was the same he'd always been, and the next he'd walked out to the pool where you and Sarah had been tanning, sending a wink your way, as he often did because he was a tease, and then jumped into the water, looking extremely good. You remembered the way he'd pushed his wet hair aside once he'd reached the surface again, and the way his muscles had tensed when he'd pulled himself out of the pool.

Since then you'd been aware every time Rafe had entered a room and somehow the smirk and winks that couldn't get to you before, now made your knees weak. You hadn't told anyone about this newfound discovery of yours though and it was a secret you intended to keep. It wasn't like you wanted to go anywhere with Rafe, he was your best friend's brother, but you couldn't help sneaking a peak of him from afar from time to time. 

Currently, you were in Sarah's room, getting ready for a party. It was a party Topper, Sarah's annoying and overly protective boyfriend, had gotten you and Sarah invited to. You knew a lot of the people who were coming you just didn't know the guy throwing the party. His name was Toby if you remembered correctly, and apparently his parents were out of town for the weekend.

When you arrived at the party, Sarah quickly disappeared somewhere with Topper. He was probably showing her all the things he didn't want her to drink or touch or do. You rolled your eyes at the thought. Sarah knew you weren't Topper's biggest fan, but you never voiced your opinion of him.

You wandered around by yourself for a while until you found a group of people that you knew. You sat with them for a while, laughing and drinking more than you should, until you were pretty wasted. You must've sat there for about an hour when Rafe came and sat down beside you. You weren't surprised to see him, Rafe had always been where the party was. 

The sofa you were sitting on was small, so Rafe and you were close once he'd squeezed down in between you and a girl named Carla. Carla was beautiful in such an annoying way. She was the kind of beautiful that made her get all the attention and she never even tried hiding how much she enjoyed it. She knew she was gorgeous and she would always use it to make a big drama. And even though she scooted closer to Rafe the minute he sat down, carefully tracing a finger down his arm while she spoke with a flirtatious tone "hi Rafe", his attention was solely on you. 

"Wanna try this?" Rafe asked you as he pulled out a bag of pills from his pocket. You'd taken drugs before, but never with Rafe, and though you knew it was a bad idea and Sarah would kill you, how could you say no?

You starred into Rafe's eyes as you sank a pill. He smirked as he took one as well, before smoothly draping his arm around your shoulders, leaning back on the couch. "Get out of here" Rafe demanded Carla, who'd been looking at you and Rafe with surprised eyes during your whole interaction. She huffed and made a dramatic swing of her hair before walking off towards the kitchen.

You smiled, no one dared stand up to Rafe Cameron. You had no idea why he was there with you, you figured he had lots of other people to do drugs with, but you didn't mind. You casually leaned into him, trying not to make it look like it was intentional, and waited for the room to start spinning.

It surprised you how fast the pill worked. Soon your body relaxed the way it only did when you smoked weed, but it was different from that still. It was like your limbs weighed a hundred pounds, but you still had all the energy in the world. You had a hard time describing the feeling, all you knew was that you liked it.

"I'm gonna go for a swim" you announced after you'd gotten used to the way your brain worked while under the effect of the drug. You rose from the sofa and almost fell to the floor, but Rafe caught you. "Thanks" your words came out blurry as you took Rafe's hand and led him towards the exit. Once you passed the kitchen and kept heading for the front door, Rafe pulled your arm back. "Pool's this way" he pointed to his right. You laughed at him as if he'd said the dumbest thing in the world.

"I don't wanna go in the pool, I wanna go in the ocean" you deadpanned as if it was obvious. "And how will you get to the beach?" Rafe laughed while slowly pulling you closer to him. "You have a bike don't you?" You raised your brows whiled tucking your bottom lip between your teeth. You looked at his lips, lingering them there for a moment before you looked back into his eyes. God, he was so hot.

When he didn't protest, you turned around and started walking again. You immediately spotted Rafe's bike once you were outside, and you ran towards it, excitingly placing yourself on it once you reached it. 

"I'm a bit too drunk to drive," Rafe smiled as he reached the bike as well. "It's never stopped you before, come on" you insisted.

It didn't take long for you to convince Rafe to take the two of you to the beach. After all, he wasn't the most responsible person on the island, so after a promise that oh yeah, you'd most definitely be skinny dipping, Rafe was all for it. 

Your hands were snaked around Rafe's waist as the wind was blowing through your hair. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of being close to Rafe while driving through the night. The moment was ruined though when you felt your phone buzzing in the back pocket of your pants. You released your grip from around Rafe and pulled out your phone, it was Sarah calling. Instead of answering though, you went to the camera on your phone and took a couple of pictures. Your brain was pretty clouded though, so you chose to listen to the only current reasonable part of your mind, and put your phone back in your pocket before you dropped it.

It didn't take long for you to get to the beach, probably having something to do with Rafe driving way over the speed limit, but life was too good for you to care at the moment. Rafe stopped the engine of his dirtbike and you laughed, kissing his neck once from behind, before jumping off the bike and running towards the water.

Rafe had to take a minute, he was more used to the drugs, so it took a bit longer for him to get affected by them. He was just thanking God or the universe, or whoever the fuck was in charge, that he'd managed to drive here with a somewhat clear mind. The drugs slowly crept in on him now though and when he spotted you laying in the sand, laughing, some ten meters in front of him. There were absolutely no cons for him to go join you.

When you were laying in the sand with your eyes closed, you swore it felt like flying and you couldn't stop laughing. You questioned if you'd ever experienced anything as extraordinary. While Rafe was locking his bike, two guys approached you, drunk and curious as to what you were doing. You didn't notice them until they stood right above you, looking down at you. You opened your eyes and raised yourself in a hurry but your forehead collapsed with one of the guys' noses and you fell down again. You couldn't help but laugh, not even feeling the pain.

"What the fuck! I think she broke my nose" the guy called out. "Dude, chill, I barely bruised it" your laughter had died down to giggles as you rose from the ground. "Shut up! It fucking hurts" the guy raised his voice slightly, but you kept laughing. "I'm sorry, really, it wasn't even on purpose" you blinked repeatedly, trying to see straight. 

"Hey! Who the fuck are you?" Rafe roared as he approached you, having finally noticed the guys. "Your girl almost broke my nose dude, fucking bitch" the guy yelled out. It was like Rafe had a switch that went from decent to aggressively angry in a matter of seconds, and he lunched at the guy. His fist landed right in the center of the guy's face, so hard you were able to hear the bones crushing. His nose was definitely broken now. The guy stumbled backward and his friend, who'd been quiet until now, immediately jumped forward, but Rafe grabbed his fist in the air and hit him in the stomach. The guy hunched forward in a cry of pain.

Both guys soon regained strength and though their punches were sloppy due to the obvious intake of alcohol, they managed to get a few good hits at Rafe seeing he wasn't really in his best state either. Everything happened so quickly you barely got to react before Rafe was in a boxing match with two strangers. They hadn't even done anything, why did Rafe freak out?

You didn't wonder for long before you ran to Rafe's side and kicked one of the strangers in the balls, making him instantly fall to the ground. Rafe hit the other right across the jaw and the strength of the punch made him fall to the soft sand as well. Both guys laid whimpering on the ground and Rafe pointed a demanding finger at them, "do not call her a bitch, you fucking losers" he roared before he grabbed your hand and walked in the opposite direction.

Once you were a couple of meters away his demeanor completely changed again, as he looked back at the guys and started laughing. "We'd make such a badass couple" he announced as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders for the second time that night, and pulled you close.

You couldn't help but smile, did he really just say that? 

Your brain didn't get a lot of time to overthink what Rafe had just said though before you looked at the ocean and remembered why you were even here in the first place. You smiled like a little girl who'd just gotten a candyfloss and ran towards the ocean. You threw off your shirt while running and stepped out of your pants as you reached the water, wasting n getting in.

You were only in your underwear, but it wasn't nearly as cold as you'd feared. You dived under, getting your hair and face wet, and when you resurfaced two things happened. One, your brain immediately cleared up from the fresh sensation of water in your face, and two, Rafe was standing right in front of you.

You giggled, "wasn't it worth it? Driving all the way? A pool can't compare to this."

Rafe didn't answer, he just looked at you. He was determined to kiss you. He barely registered what you were saying, because all he could think about was kissing you. So he did just that.

Taking you by surprise, he walked forward, grabbed your face, and smashed his lips onto yours. It didn't take you many seconds to realize what was happening and you snaked your arms around his neck, eagerly pulling him closer.

What was even happening? Why would he even want to kiss you, you were younger than him and Sarah was your best friend.

In the back of your mind, you knew this was only for one night and that Rafe was the fuckboy of them all and you were probably just a fun challenge for him, his sister's best friend. But you didn't mind, you were just gonna make tonight last as long as possible and you knew you'd have no regrets in the morning.

The water stopped at your waist, which meant it reached Rafe just to the top of his hips. His hands moved from your face, down your waist, and down to your butt, giving it a squeeze. You gasped and he smoothly sneaked his tongue into your mouth. He grabbed your thighs and lifted you. Your legs wrapped around his waist and the kiss turned rough and heated. His hands stayed on your thighs, holding you up, while his thumbs traced small circles on your skin.

Truth was, Rafe had wanted to kiss you for a while. He had always thought you looked good, but recently his eyes had opened to how good-looking you actually were. God, you were the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. 

There was no sound other than the gentle waves and the sound of your mouths moving against each other. Rafe pulled your legs tighter around him and your hands moved to his hair, pulling slightly. You both let out a moan, swallowing each other's sound. You couldn't get enough, it was like you needed more, faster. 

There was no way you were having sex with Sarah's brother though. She was never gonna find out about this, but if she did, she would might be able to get over a kiss, but she'd never forgive you or Rafe if you slept together.

Eventually, after what felt like hours, Rafe let go of you and you separated yourself from him. You couldn't help but smile.

You looked up at Rafe who was smiling down at you, moving his hand to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. You tilted your head, certain that this came close to the best night of your life. You broke the silence after a couple of minutes.

"Hi Rafe" you mimicked Carla's high-pitched voice from earlier and you both started laughing. Rafe shook his head, a smile still playing on his lips as he leaned down and kissed you once before grabbing your hand and you walked back towards the shore.

[write-orflight]

Like Real People Do Chapter 7

*Gif not mine*

Masterlist

Rating: M

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: Kinda NSFW not smut tho

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

A.N: Kinda short chapter but we only have 2 Chapters and an Epilogue left. Thanks for reading. Message to be on taglist, much love Cia

Chapter 7: I will not ask you where you came from, I will not ask you, neither should you 

“You’ve gotta hold it like a pencil.” You laugh, trying to explain chopsticks to Spencer as you sit at your kitchen table eating the Thai food you mentioned beforehand. Spencer just seemed to grip the chopstick tighter, you laugh.“Spencer, you write all the time. Is that how you hold a pencil? Here.” You say, placing your hand over his, maneuvering his hand to hold the chopsticks properly. He looks up at you and smiles before leaning in to kiss you again. You don’t think you could ever grow tired of that. “What was that for?”

“Nothing.” He shrugs. “It’s just nice to kiss you whenever I think about it now.” You watch him struggle again before taking pity on him and handing him a fork. He looks at you with gratitude. 

“When?” You ask. “Did you think about it,  I mean.”

He blows a breath, thinking. “Every time? Or the first time?” 

Knowing Spencer probably could name every single time he’s thought about kissing you, you laugh. “Let’s start with the first time.” 

“The first case we worked together. The bus driver.” He says. “You looked so excited when you figured it out, you were practically flailing your arms. I wanted to kiss you so bad, but of course I had just met you days prior, so it wouldn’t have been appropriate.” He laughs. “What about you?”

“The first time I wanted to kiss you?” You ask, he nods. “Probably the Milwaukee case last winter. When you talked down that gunman with no weapon, no vest. I also wanted to punch the lights out of you.” You both laugh. “But you really had me worried and guess when I saw you were safe it was all I could think about doing.” 

“Why didn’t you?” 

“Well, why didn’t you?” You shoot back. 

“I told you, I didn’t know you then.” 

“Well, I also didn’t know you well back then.” You sigh. “Plus, I always thought you were extremely out of my league, you still are.” 

Spencer snorts, you slap his arm. “I’m being serious, you were extremely smart and attractive and I’m not so I never thought anything would come of this.” You shrug. Spencer grips your hand tightly. 

“Hey, look at me.” He says, you meet his eyes and you’re suddenly hit with a look that could only be described as complete admiration. “You are the single most beautiful, talented and intelligent girl I know. If anyone’s out of anyone’s league, it’s the other way around, trust me.” 

You hum, thinking. “Yea, I don’t think so.” 

“I’ll have to prove it to you then.” He says, smiling, looking at you like you personally put every star in the sky.   

“I’ll hold you to that.” 

---------------------------------------------------------------

Spencer spends everyday for the next 4 months proving you wrong. 

Your second “official” date was at the planetarium after you told Spencer offhandedly one day that you didn’t know much about stars other than your astrological sign. He then surprises you early one Saturday morning rushing you to get dressed so you don’t have to deal with the crowds. You end up in an empty theater as he whispers his own facts to you about the constellations completely ignoring the tour guide. 

He takes you on several dates like that. To museums, art galleries, the two of you even watch that 5 hour movie he loves so much though you end up falling asleep hour 2, you couldn’t help it. 

You decide to keep it secret from the team for the first couple of months, just to see it was something you both still wanted. Since the two of you spent so much time together before you were dating, it was like nothing’s changed. Garcia still ends up finding out around month three, during your monthly Doctor Who rewatches. You had sent Spencer to the kitchen to get a bottle of wine when he calls out to you. 

“Babe, where’s your corkscrew?” 

Without thinking, you automatically answer back “In the drawer below the coffee maker.” You go to start the next episode when you look up to see Garcia staring at you like you grew a second skull. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask, genuinely confused. 

“Babe???” She says, incredulously. Spencer is out of the kitchen, watching the two of you in the doorway. “Babe?!?” She asked again, Spencer realized his mistake, looking at you awkwardly, a clear I fucked up, you have to fix it face. You sigh, putting your forehead in your hand. Despite him technically being a genius, you were dating an idiot. 

“Garcia—“ you start.  

“How long?” She says, stumbling slightly. 

“How long what?” You ask, hoping playing dumb will get you out of it. It doesn’t as she just levels you with a stern look. Or as stern as Penelope Garcia can get. “3  months.” You sigh. 

“3 Months?!” Suddenly Garcia is pulling you into a hug, waving her arm frantically behind your back for Spencer to join you, which of course he does. “Oh my sweet sweet summer children, Why didn’t you tell me?!”She pulls from you, hitting you both in the arm instantly. 

You rub your arm. “We just wanted to keep it under wraps for a while, to see if it was something we both wanted.” 

“And is it?” She asks. 

You look at Spencer only to see him looking directly back into your eyes, smiling. “Yea it is.” You say. “Garcia, I know you don’t like keeping secrets but can you not tell anyone. We wanted to wait to tell everyone.” 

Garcia blows a breath. “For you, my dove, I will try. Now I was promised wine and Doctor Who and I still haven't gotten either.” 

With that you fill her glass and the three of you spend the night watching Doctor Who and eating pizza. At some point of the night, Spencer’s arm ends up around you. You scout closer to him so you can lay your head on his chest. Suddenly, you see a camera flash. 

“Garcia!” You yell. 

“Relax, I won’t show anyone. This’ll be for me, you guys are just so cute!”   

You roll your eyes, laying back on Spencer. You can’t help but smile at the feel of his light chuckle. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Sex doesn’t come up despite your best wishes. You can tell Spencer’s holding back, trying to respect you and you appreciated that, you really do. 

But God, you want him. 

There’s been times where you think you’re going to get there. Like last month, he had come over to watch a movie which ended up just being an excuse to just make out. You didn’t think you could ever get tired of kissing Spencer. Most of the time, his kisses were sweet, filled with admiration. But sometimes they were heated with passion and want behind them. You liked both, loved both even, but if you had to pick a favorite it’d be the lather. You’ve never felt as desired as you do when you’re with Spencer. 

His tongue swiped along your bottom lip, you opened your mouth giving him permission. You’re rewarded with a small moan as he tries to move as close to you as your small couch will allow. You’re suddenly hit with a bright idea and push him back so you could crawl on top of him, straddling his waist. You pull back slightly to look at him, making sure this was ok. He looks at you shocked for a moment, you guys have never done anything this far. That shock breaks though the second you lean back into him, his hands going instantly to your waist. You move in closer, running your hands through his hair as his tongue rejoins your mouth. You moan, tugging slightly at the roots earning you a groan, his hands sliding under your shirt gripping your waist tighter. As lean forward to kiss along his jaw you can’t help but become hyper aware of a certain predicament he was having. Deciding to test the waters, you start grinding your hips on him slightly. 

“Fuck.” he moans quietly, his grip on your bare waist suddenly becoming tighter. Spencer hardly ever cursed, not even when he was mad. Very much unlike you who cursed like a sailor at any minor inconvenience. So hearing the expletive, especially in a situation like this, was enough to turn you into a faucet. The two of you went on like this a bit, your hands on his jaw, not even being shy about your grinding now. You needed him to know just how bad you wanted this, how bad you wanted him. Eventually, his hands slide out your shirt settling on your lower waist to stop you. You pull back to look at him confused. 

“We’ve got to stop.” He says, sitting you up a little bit so you weren’t completely seated completely on top of him. 

“Why?” You all but whine. You didn’t mean to sound like a child but you were genuinely curious. He chuckles lightly at you before kissing your cheek and moving you so you were seated next to him, still cuddled under his arm. His attention turned fully back towards the movie, neither of you had been paying attention to prior. 

------------------------------------------------

And if working with him was hard before, it’s proven itself to be unbearable these past months. Now that you knew what it was like to be with Spencer, thoughts about it seemed to cloud your brain on a daily basis. And it seemed like he was mocking you with it lately. With the rolled up sleeves of his button up and the skinny ties it seemed like he was intentionally trying to break you. 

Right now, you were in a small town off the coast of Oregan, listening to Reid explain the geographical profile he’d come up with for the Unsub. You try to listen, you really do but your focus keeps going to his forearms and hands. You knew you like his hands before but now that you knew what they felt like it was hard to focus on anything else. That combined with the rapid words coming out of his mouth and the hair he’d recently been growing out (something you didn’t know you were into but could definitely now confirm you were) were sending you spiraling. 

“Y/N.” You suddenly heard Hotch call. You looked around to see everyone looking at you, expecting an answer to a question you did not hear. 

You clear your throat awkwardly. “What was your question again?” 

“I asked why you think the Unsub is a flight risk.” JJ says. “Are you ok? You seem off.” 

Everyone’s eyes is on you again, this time Spencer included. He’s narrowing his eyes at you now. You can tell he’s reading you like a book, trying to hide the smirk on his face. He knows. You think to yourself. 

“I’m fine.” You clear your throat. “Based one the geographical profile, I think the Unsub is from this town and is very familiar with the water. Possibly from a fishing family, which is why I think he has a boat and will try to make a run for it tonight. Especially since the news announced we’re here.” You point out. “I actually don’t believe we have much time.” 

“Alright, Reid, Prentiss and Rossi check his house. Y/L/N, Morgan and I will head down to the Marina. Dismissed.” 

You go to grab everything you need before leaving (vest, gun, etc.) when Spencer approaches you. 

“And you thought I wouldn’t be able to focus on work when we got together?” He says, smirking. 

“Shut up.” You mumble. Before you can turn away from him, he grabs your wrist pulling you into a tight, passionate kiss. 

“Please be careful.” He says looking into your eye. 

“I always am, Spen.” You smile. 

-------------------------------------------------------

You, Hotch and Morgan Are silent driving to the Marina but that wasn’t unusual that was how it usually is with you three, especially with stakes like this. Hotch assigns the both of you quadrants to search and you split apart. You’re walking your quadrant when you hear a snapping sound. You turn and see the unsub untying a boat. 

“FBI! Don’t move.” You scream after him. He sees you turns to his boat that’s started to drift further and further away in the high tide before he starts booking it down the dock. You run after to him. 

“Unsub is on the southeastern dock! Requesting Backup.” You scream in your radio before focusing your full attention on running full speed after the man you’d been searching for for days. He’s looking behind himself every so often to see you gaining on him but you’re still not fast enough to get him before you jumps off the end of the dock, swimming fast towards his boat. 

“Shit!” You yell. You hear hotch and Morgan’s steps running behind you before you make the split decision. 

You throw off your vest, radio and gun on the dock next to you before careening off the dock into the icy cold oregonian waters.          

Taglist: @haylaansmi​     @yoruebeautiful​ @kianagilder-blog​ @l0ve-0f-my-life​ @bihoeofmanyfandoms @dreamer7black​ @baby-banana​ @drreidshands​ @blameitonthenight21​ @slyskyeey​ @liaabsurd​ @di-essere-amato​ @oliviamaerose​ @nightlygiggless​

[onlyhereforangst]

WWR

GUESS WHO’S BACK, BACK IN BLACK.

It has sadly been easily nine months since I’ve done a WWR buuuuut who could pull me away from these next few eps?? It’ll likely be long but whatever, let’s go for a ride shall we? 😏

(oh also to those new followers in nine months- this is my version of straight overanalyzing the night prior’s ep except I’ve gotten really bad at *actually* writing it on Wednesday. Long story short I used to commute hour(s) to DC & think during that time, now I don’t commute. So we went from WWDCTR to WWR- Weekly Wednesday Reflections)

First up, Sunburn! Ok kicking things off we already arriving together all cutesy while catching up on their night before or weekend or whatever day it was like those so who are in that stage where you want to know everything about the other person, you want to share everything with the other person, you want to be with that person all the time BUT you haven’t actually *told* the other person you want to be with the them with them. You know what I’m talking about? Ahhh young love 🥰

And then we have the post-it notes. You now that perfect banter/flirting for them as they joke around poking fun at McGee and each other. BUT WAIT THERES MORE because you get the loooooks when Jack brings up twins and Nick just silently tells Ellie, hey not a bad plan right? You down? Tonight? And she has to shyly hide her eyes and her blushing cheeks because hot damn she wants to give daddy some twins 🥵🥵

Moving on (though I’m not sure how Ellie can after that daddy reference like woof) - ok updates in the bullpen like HELLO y’all are talking TO Gibbs and yet your eyes don’t. leave. each. other. COULD YOU BE MORE OBVIOUS. Like hi hello I’d like to eye fuck you and your intelligent brain in that hot body right here and now with these orange walls to be our ambience but we apparently have to update this crotchety, elusive old man goddamn why is he even still here doesn’t he have some shady case to go solve.

And oh man the phone call to McGee, I just- they’re too much. Nick trying to throw Ellie under the bus, them able to have a seamless conversation while alternating who speaks, them being “sooo sorry” about not flying down there but question weren’t they bummed about not going to the Bahamas?? oh yeah I see you- because hmmm you like being alone as partners with no interruptions from the rest of the team 👀👀 makes more time for flirting & eye fucking mmhm yeah I see you sly kids.

And speaking of, as usual, some more wonderful heavy eye contact as they continue case work with interrogating and updates in the bullpen and everything because who needs words when you can “speak” with your eyes 🔥

Fiiiinally, the ending night scene in the bullpen, I’m sorry but not only did Ellie not seem like she was done working but I didn’t hear Nick mention anything about walking down together. He’s packed up and mere seconds after getting off the phone suddenly she’s ready and out the door walking close to him while flirting? I mean the LOOK, the LOOK about the going off-grid can you NOT. Nick even trips over his words about that being “good” for McGee because boy does he know what off-grid really means 👀👀👀 and Ellie prodding him with a little “thought you’d be jealous because you remember how OUR off-grid went don’t you” and him stumbling a bit once again saying he has the happiest job as a cover-up like OK WE SEE YOU TWO. GO OFF GRID AND MAKE TWINS ALREADY PLEASE. CAN I GET A GODDAMN 🔥🔥🔥

Aaaaaaanyways this has been fun, I forgot how much I love writing out my stream of conscious overanalyzing thoughts. Will rewatch & reblog with HotS thoughts soon 😘😘

[s1rcus]

Second Chance (NatDex/Blackhill)

Rating: Teen and up

Words: 1555

Fandoms: Marvel, Stumptown

Characters: Natasha Romanoff, Dex Parios, Original Female Character

Additional tags: Reincarnation, Post-Avengers: Endgame, Reincarnation AU, Stumptown Crossover

Summary:  After Vormir Natasha wakes up in a new world where she has a different name and works as a ballet dancer? She also finds a familiar face she has missed, when her best friend/co-worker, Katya, drags her into a bar on a Friday evening.

Authors note: So this a thing I've been working on pretty much since I watched Stumptown. There's also a little cameo for one of Emily VanCamp's characters because I've been watching the Resident and rewatching Revenge recently.

Story below the cut or in AO3 here

The last thing Natasha can remember was her falling. She rubs her eyes and sits up in a bed, the covers pooling on her lap. A bed? That can't be right. She very much remembers falling to her death to save Clint from doing that.

A phone goes off on the nightstand next to her. She grabs it and realizes it's an alarm she had put on. Dismissing it she gets up and heads towards the bathroom. She's not alarmed by the fact that she clearly knows where it is until the shower is running. Something is very wrong.

She gets out of the shower and dries her hair with a towel and wraps it around herself. She goes to check the mail to see who's apartment this is. Veronika Bobrova is the only name in the few letters that lie in front of the door. She's starting to think she's hit her head or something but then the phone starts to ring again and she goes to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Vera where are you? We're starting in fifteen minutes and there's so much I can do until someone notices you're not here."

And with that voice her life flashes back to her. She is Veronika Bobrova, a ballet dancer. They have rehearsals for shows during daytime and during evenings they teach children. Her class is on Tuesday and Thursday evenings so today was a free evening. She shakes her head to clear her head.

"I'm so sorry. I had put the alarm wrong. I'll be there as quickly as I can. Thank you Katya. I owe you some drinks or something."

"I'm gonna keep that in mind."

She ended the call, got dressed and grabbed a toast on her way out of the door.

-----------------

And Katya did keep it in mind. When Friday evening came she was being dragged across town to a bar she had never even heard of. Bad Alibi was such a weird name for a bar anyway.

Katya sat down at a table and Natasha went to order them a couple shots of vodka. When she got back and was sitting across from Katya, she saw a face she knew she could never forget. It didn't matter what had happened, if she was Natasha or Veronika or whoever she was supposed to be, but that face she could never forget. It was Maria. Somehow she hadn't even thought about how her sacrificing herself to keep Clint with his family and to get everyone else back would affect her. Does that make her a bad girlfriend? It probably doesn't even matter anymore. She's dead. In that world at least.

She must've been staring for a while because Katya speaks up next to her.

"She's actually the reason we're here. She's a PI and I really need help with the Jack situation."

Before Natasha has time to really say anything, Katya has downed the rest of her drinks and is making her way towards the woman who looks like Maria. She comes back with her and sits next to Natasha while the other woman sits across from them.

Veronika had never been this happy she was single, while Natasha was happy that Veronika actually was single. Being single had never been a problem for Natasha, she actually kinda preferred it, but Maria had proven how wrong she was. While Veronika definitely hated being single. That probably shows the difference of how they grew up. Or so at least Natasha thought.

The woman says her name is Dex Parios and she asks Katya to explain her situation to her. Natasha hears none of Katya's explanation, barely registering Katya introducing her as her "emotional support". She just keeps staring at Maria/Dex, whoever she is.

This version is way more laid back as her Maria. She's more like the Maria Natasha got to know. The one who'd watch movies with her and eat popcorn. The one that'd cook her dinner after a long mission. The one who called her grandma every Sunday evening no matter where she was. The one Natasha fell in love with.

After a while it becomes too much and Natasha excuses herself, making her way outside. Without a thought she digs through her purse and pulls out a small carton. When she's holding a lighter on her other hand, she makes a face. Of course Veronika would have a bad habit Natasha couldn't stand. She puts the lighter back into her purse and throws the carton to a bin. Leaning against the wall she takes a deep breath. She needs to get a grip.

"What's going on with you? You've been weird these past few days."

Of course Katya would follow her. She needed a lie, a good one. Because telling her best friend that a couple days ago she woke up and suddenly she has all these memories of another life in her head. A whole new personality that had mostly taken over. Maybe just telling a partial truth would be for the best.

"I quit smoking."

"Oh. Well good for you! I was expecting something totally different. Maybe even something bad."

"What? That I joined a secret agency and killed a bunch of people?"

"Uh, no? That was weirdly specific?"

"Sorry, just a dream I had. How'd it go with the PI?"

"Good. She said she'll contact me when she has something."

Before Natasha even realizes she's speaking, she's said her thoughts out loud. "She's so beautiful."

"Oh?"

Shit. Does Veronika date women? Did Katya know if she does? Natasha tries to start thinking back on the memories she's still trying to figure out but it's still all mixed up with her own memories.

"She didn't really seem your type. Well, mainly she wasn't blonde or rich."

Okay, good. Yes to all of the questions. Wait, blonde and rich? Why is her memory showing her Carter in fancy clothes and why does it hurt? Not really important right now but she does need to figure out her mixed memories.

"Well, you saw those eyes yourself. You tell me they weren't the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen."

"Sure." Couple beats of silence until Katya lets out a breath and continues, "I'm heading home. You wanna share a cab?"

"Oh?" Looking back inside where she could see Maria/Dex. She's got a second chance in this and she has to take it. She shakes her head. "No. I'm good. I think I'm going to try to get her number."

"You know I have her number right or you could just get it online?"

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?" Natasha smirks.

"Fair enough. Don't have too much fun without me though."

"No promises. I'll see you on Monday."

"See ya."

Natasha watches Katya wave a cab and makes her way inside. She goes to the bar and orders a beer. Not really her choice in drinks but Maria had liked it and she had got used to the taste. Also maybe getting drunk while she's mixing memories isn't a good idea and beer isn't strong enough to get her drunk. She moves to a table with her bottle and sits down. Slowly sipping her drink she keeps her gaze at Maria/Dex. Dex, that's her name and she really should start calling her by that. She isn't Maria, just looks like her (and maybe sometimes acts like her).

It doesn't take too long before Dex catches her watching her. Natasha flashes her a quick smile and shifts her gaze to the table top. Dammit, she's way off her game. This isn't how Veronika did things and her body keeps betraying her by doing small things the way it used to. When she lifts her eyes back up, she sees Dex making her way towards her.

"I was wondering if you'd come back," is all Dex says as she sits on the empty chair across from Natasha.

Being this close to her makes Natasha feel at ease, Maria always had that effect on her, and having a gentle smile on her face feels almost effortless and natural.

"How so?" Natasha responds, tilting her head as she tries to read Dex. It's hard, because she clearly isn't Maria like her brain and heart are telling her. Was she interested in her? Part of her was saying yes, but the other part couldn't get a read on her.

"Someone like you doesn't stare at a person without a reason. Either you're hoping to get something or I have something on my face. And I checked myself in the mirror after your friend left, so I'm pretty sure it's the former."

"Someone like me?" It's a challenge and Natasha knows that Dex knows it too.

"Fuck. I didn't mean it like that. I-"

Natasha smirks at her, "I'm just messing with you. I know what you meant. Let me buy you a beer?"

Dex is smiling now and suddenly Natasha has butterflies in her stomach without a reason. She blames Veronika, but it might also just be her.

"I don't think you buying me a beer at a place where I get them always for free is fair. But how about I'll get you one?"

Maybe she really does have a second chance at this. Natasha smiles at her, "I'd like that.

[logically-asexual]

okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡

[hopeymchope]

Godzilla Singular Point

I came into Singular Point with some trepidation because Godzilla’s history in anime is both very recent and extremely bad. The three anime movies released between 2017 and 2019 are easily the worst work of famed writer Gen Urobuchi and honestly contain more bullshit than I can even get into here. Those movies and this series were both Godzilla anime properties commissioned by Netflix, which didn’t get my hopes up very much. Thankfully, Singular Point is a very different beast from the anime trilogy. One could argue it’s very different from most Godzilla media, actually — at least from my perspective. And I’m still a pretty entry-level fan of Toho’s Big G, all things considered.

Let me just warn you right up front: This smartphone-based virtual assistant is basically the breakout star of the series. 

When you think “Godzilla,” you probably don’t think “incredibly dense sci-fi concepts,” but with the big G’s first-ever anime series, the writers clearly set out to change that perception. Before the first kaiju even appears, the lead characters are plucked from obscurity and dropped into a mystery that involves fourth-dimensional time travel, physical objects that look different from all sides, theoretical math concepts, self-propagating A.I., and a whole lot more. And it’s NEVER made clear how all of it connects to the rampaging kaiju! Although we spend a lot of time investigating a red dust or sand that is very obviously tied to the monsters in SOME way, no one ever makes a connection that explains the relationship. Maybe we’re supposed to wait for a later season to connect the threads... but let’s get into the idea of “another season” later.

I like to think of myself as someone who typically enjoys hard sci-fi, but even with the characters spending loads of time trying to explain the high concepts driving the story, I was never able to fully wrap my head around what was going on in the mystery at the center of GSP. I rewound and rewatched a few explanations, but I still walked away feeling lost. I eventually settled on some vague, loose understandings of most of the ideas mentioned, but those understandings were subject to being ripped apart in subsequent scenes when I was shown or told something completely at odds with what I thought I knew. I can’t say I was ever bored with the thick, dense scientific concepts on offer — trying to find purchase with these far-out ideas kept me glued to the screen — but damn, I sure wish I was able to comprehend them.

What do we want?! DENSE SCIENTIFIC DISCUSSION AND DEBATE! When do we want it?! AFTER THOROUGH RESEARCH, TESTING, AND PEER REVIEW!

Another weird thing about this show is that the lead characters remain in separate locations and on separate tracks for the entire duration. We have Yun — a mechanical engineer and programmer who has an amazing grasp on physics and human behavior. And we have Mei — a grad student who is deeply invested in theoretical science, UMAs, cryptids and other far-flung concepts. Both of them are basically geniuses in their fields, and even though they take opposing views of just how flexible reality is, their shared ability to think “outside the box” becomes the crucial component in solving the mystery at the core of the series. Because they don’t even know one another (despite being separated by like, ONE degree), they only ever interact via text messages and behind screen names, which feels pretty damn weird. At least  I immediately liked both of them, with Yun being the standout to me because of how his lowkey reactions to crazy shit generates a lot of humor.

This soundtrack cover LIES; you will never see these characters in a room together like this. 

Alas, we don’t get to know the characters a whole lot beyond what we learned of them in the first two episodes. It’s not long before they’re trapped in a series of complicated exposition dumps, endlessly attempting to explain the high concepts of the show to other characters as well as my dumb ass in the audience. The fact that I liked them in the first couple of episodes carried me through more than half of the show, but I was always hoping to see them share more of themselves or just display more emotion. Anime as a medium excels at emotional storytelling. But despite the major, world-altering events the characters are constantly warning us about, none of them seem to have many emotions about said events. 

Further complicating matters is how, when major events finally occur in this show, they are often kept off-screen. One character shockingly dies, but the portrayal of that death is so piss-poor that I didn’t even realize it’d happened until someone mentioned their death in the next episode. After that vague death, I was particularly sensitive to anything that looked like it might possibly be lethal. Yet a later event that is played up as a tragic, fatal occurrence ends up... fine, somehow? It’s not clear how the character survives, because — even after one of our heroes is left screaming their name in despair as they seemingly die — nobody ever talks about or explains how he’s just fine a couple of scenes later. And near the end of the series, there’s a major transformation that occurs for one of the characters, and we never see it happen nor do we understand HOW it happened. It’s just that suddenly, this character is extremely different due to off-screen reasons that are only vaguely verbalized.

I guess these two really bonded at some point for some reason? And what you are seeing here is literally the height of emotion shown in the entire show.

Even though the overarching story of the series so far pretty clearly wraps up in episode 13, we then get a post-credits tease for a potential second season. So the question becomes: Would I watch that?

Well... Godzilla Singular Point is a series with a lot of issues that kept me at arms’ length from it — tons of extremely confusing dialogue, highly frustrating choices in direction that lead to baffling storytelling, characters who are mostly exposition-dumping — and yet there’s still some foundational work here that I appreciated a lot. When the action occurs, it’s pretty cool/fun. And when urban destruction occurs, it can be awe-inspiring. The human characters, though little-explored, have likable and interesting foundations to them that could be expanded upon. And I didn’t even mention the soundtrack, which features a variety of musical styles combined with the classic Ifukube theme music and an OP that is an absolute banger. (I have a weakness when it comes to music; a good soundtrack can carry me through even the blandest series sometimes.) Even the core idea of centering a Godzilla series around hard science and mathematical concepts is a compelling one, I think! I just hated the execution of it; they went waaaaay too far on poorly explaining incredibly complex, mind-bending concepts for my pea brain to handle it. They spend so much time trying to explain things, yet somehow they never succeeded for me. 

Ultimately, I’d probably give the show another chance. But if I do give another season a chance, it’ll be on probation. I wouldn’t watch the entire season unless I could see within four episodes that they’d definitely improved things.

Would I recommend that anyone watch the series as it currently stands? I mean... not really? I guess if you really dig complex math, hard theoretical science, and/or Toho’s stable of monsters, then maaaaaaaaaaybe give it a shot. But otherwise? Naaaahh. It’s not good enough at anything to make it stand out from the anime crowd. I didn’t hate it like I hated the Godzilla anime films, but Singular Point is still something that both casual viewers and most fans can comfortably ignore for the time being. It’s not a complete disaster, and it’s not without its highlights... but it’s definitely disappointing in my opinion.

OKAYOKAYOKAY, so let’s talk about the kaiju for a bit! 

Below will be SPOILERS revealing all of the kaiju that appear in Godzilla Singular Point and giving my feelings on them. 

Godzilla — It’s interesting to see a version of Godzilla that borrows some ideas from Shin Godzilla. Shin G has been incredibly unique until now, but this Godzilla manages to fold some of Shin’s distinctive aspects in with the more classic/typical versions to build a fun new depiction. Be forewarned that Godzilla doesn’t show up until the series is halfway over, and he doesn’t get a ton of screen time, either. He’s used quite sparingly and kept in hazy settings, often framed from the neck-up when they show him. It’s a little frustrating that they felt the need to shroud him so much, but I respect the fact that whenever Godzilla is shown, the destruction he causes is on a scale far beyond anything that the rest of the kaiju ever do. He is pure devastation. 

Rodan — He’s easily the biological kaiju with the most screen time in Singular Point. Rodan is first introduced as one gigantic pterosaur, but if you’ve seen ANY trailers for this show then you already know that his depiction transitions into an asston of smaller pterosaurs, all of whom are also called “Rodan.” (Apparently the word Rodan is both singular and plural, like the word “buffalo.”) Although he looks kind of cool at first, pretty soon Rodan showing up isn’t special or threatening anymore. Rodan appearances go from “a big goddamn deal” to “some bland background noise” before the series is even 1/3 finished. The design might be a little too far removed from the original for my own taste, but even if I didn’t think that, I wouldn’t be able to care for this Rodan simply because he’s rendered so unimportant and unimpressive.

If you go out in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise... 

Anguirus — Now check this guy out! Anguirus gets one of the coolest fights in the show and also demonstrates some powers that are well beyond anything we’ve seen him do before. Because he sticks to unpopulated areas, we never see him do much damage to Japan, but he is definitely holding all the attention when he’s on-screen. He’s a highlight for me — a total badass who is very unique in his abilities. And the stated origin for his name is goddamn adorable.

Manda — Yup, Manda is in this series... but I don’t have much to say for him. It seems like the creators of the anime didn’t have much to say about him either. His role amounts to little more than a repeated cameo, and in most of those cameos you only ever see his tail. When we finally see his full body, it’s done so briefly and kept at a distance, leaving me with no real impression. I had to look up his design online and... yup, that sure looks like Manda. Final score: MEEEEHH.

Kumonga — I definitely did not see this appearance coming! Kumonga is much smaller here than you may be used to, but she gets to star in the most suspenseful sequence in the series and easily earns the most exciting cliffhanger moment at the end of an episode. I was utterly glued to the show during her screen time, which comes with a lot of icky twists. Good ones! I honestly like Kumonga here more than I ever have previously.

NEW PHONE WHO DIS

Salunga — Uh, who? This is the one monster that isn’t based on a classic Toho kaiju but instead is a brand-new creation. I suppose that everybody who touches the Toho Kaiju franchise wants to make their own mark on it in some regard. But a big part of the fun of this series for me personally was the anticipation of seeing new interpretations and designs of classic Toho monsters. And so, given that he kind of resembles both Baragon and Gabara, I never stopped wishing they’d just used one of those guys as the basis and namesake. Taken on his own, however? He’s... pretty neat. Not unique or exciting, but solidly above par.  He resembles a cross between a lizard/dinosaur and an ape, plus his head has some nifty coloration. 

Our Jaguar!

Jet Jaguar — I guess Jet Jaguar isn’t exactly a kaiju in the traditional sense because he’s a Giant Robot. However, if you want to consider him one, then I wager he probably gets even more screen time than Rodan! We meet him almost immediately when the series begins. Initially an odd pilot-driven robot that was constructed at the whim of a quirky old factory-owner with too much disposable income, Jet Jaguar grows and changes over the course of the show, ultimately undergoing a transition in episode 7 that makes him pretty damn impossible to dislike. In fact, I utterly adored him by then. This is definitely the best Jet Jaguar I’ve ever seen. His design is recognizably similar to the original yet utterly distinct, too. Like many of the other kaiju here, he’s not nearly as big as he was when he was first introduced to the movies, but his size is ideal for battling the smaller-scale monsters that we spend most of the series on.

[tired-eyes-cold-as-ice]

Finally Free

summary: He thought about how long it took him to accept it. Not realize, no, Alex Mercer has always liked boys, there was not a single doubt in his mind. He’s always known. He just hated that part of himself for the majority of his life. Or, Alex comes out.

warnings: panic attacks, implied/referenced homophobia, internalized homophobia, depression, strong language (Alex Swears™)

words:  5783

chapters: 2/2

notes: This was supposed to a cute one-shot where Luke and Reggie write Finally Free for Alex after he comes out to them because I was rewatching JATP (as one does) and noticed the song in Luke's journal and my brain went brrr. And then I started writing it? And suddenly Alex was horribly depressed and everything was miserable?? So, uh, yeah. I promise there is a happy, soft ending though because Luke and Reggie are good friends. I apologize for the Bobby erasure in this, I deadass forgot about him when writing.

read on ao3 <3

---

Chapter 1: What If?

To say that he was scared shitless would be an understatement.

To say that he was so terrified he felt like his heart would force its way out of his body right through his throat would be closer to the truth, though no analogy could accurately describe Alex’s feelings as he stood before his two bandmates. Alex scanned the room, eyes darting from Luke’s guitar in the corner of the studio, to his drum set, the extremely beat up dartboard on the far end wall, even his own shoes—anywhere but the two boys sat in front of him with worried expressions painted all over their faces. Subconsciously, he started fidgeting with the hem of his sweatshirt, rubbing the soft pink fabric between his shaking fingers. Breathe.

He breathed in, words forming in his mind. He opened his mouth to let them out, but nothing happened. He tried one more time, still nothing.

His eyes welled up with tears and he blinked them away angrily, letting out a frustrated groan. Why did it have to be so fucking difficult?

As he reached up to rub away at his eyes, trying to will the tears to go away, a quiet voice broke the silence in the room.

“Alex, if… if you’re not feeling up to it right now, we can just go play and you can tell us some other time.”

Alex couldn’t help but snort slightly at that. Luke Patterson has never sounded this gentle and under different circumstances, Alex might’ve started teasing him for going soft but not now. Not when Luke’s eyes were filled with genuine concern and it was clear he was using all his willpower not to just jump up and pull Alex into his arms since that’s how Luke Patterson comforted people who seemed upset.

And, well, Alex was upset.

He glanced over at Reggie too, the dark-haired boy mirroring Luke’s expression though Alex could see there was more to it under the surface. Reggie wasn’t just worried, he was scared. When Alex joined them in the studio earlier and announced he needed to talk to them in a very serious tone, Reggie instantly deflated and curled in on himself like he did every time someone mentioned his parents or raised their voice even slightly.

Alex felt like an asshole. In fact, Alex felt pathetic. All he needed to get out were three words. Three simple fucking words and it would be all be over. Three words and his friends could stop worrying. Three words and his friends might abandon him.

Either way, it would be over.

He breathed out shakily, ducking his head to avoid the concerned looks. No words came out.

He knew Luke and Reggie would never abandon him. He doubted the two could even moderately dislike him. They were best friends, brothers, family. In fact, a part of Alex thought they already knew, somehow. But there was another part hidden away in the darkest corner of his mind that wouldn’t let him believe any of that and made him doubt. What if?

“N-no... no, sorry,” he finally mumbled, clearing his throat when he realized how hoarse he sounded. “I need to tell you now, it’s just… it’s hard.”

Hesitantly, he lifted his gaze to look at the boys again. They both offered him small, supportive smiles—though Alex could see that Reggie’s was far from genuine—and waited patiently.

For hyperactive teenage boys, they knew how to be patient when the situation called for it. Alex loved that about them. He loved them, he needed them.

What if?

He thought about how long it took him to accept it. Not realize, no, Alex Mercer has always liked boys, there was not a single doubt in his mind. He’s always known. He just hated that part of himself for the majority of his life. Wrong, bad, disgusting—that’s what he’d hear in church every Sunday. That’s what his father would repeat whenever they’d see two guys holding hands on the street, whenever Queen would come on the radio. That’s what he’d hear in school most days. Sometimes directed at him, sometimes not, but Alex heard it every time. He heard every slur, every bad joke, he remembered every shove, every punch, whether they were directed at him or not. He saw, he heard, he felt.

Wrong, bad, disgusting.

Don’t look, don’t touch, don’t feel.

Wrong. Bad. Disgusting.

And then Luke Patterson started appearing in his classes and always sat himself right next to Alex with the dumbest of grins permanently plastered on his face. The same grin he gave the new kid, Reggie Peters, when he walked in on his first day and had no other choice but to sit in the row beside Luke and Alex.

Suddenly, Alex couldn’t hear the slurs and the shoves because the noise was drowned out by Luke laughing at whatever nonsense Reggie just let out of his mouth. It was drowned out by Reggie singing one of his silly country songs and Luke playing the guitar to accompany him as they ate lunch together. Alex could no longer hear the jokes and names because Luke was yelling in his ear about some new band he discovered while Reggie laughed softly in the background.

The world fell away piece by piece and all that was left was their little bubble. Their own little world where Alex could laugh and play his drums and just be. Their own little reality where Alex could grab Luke’s hand and would be rewarded with a hug instead of a punch to his stomach. Where Reggie would cuddle up to his side when he was upset and let Alex run his fingers through his hair until he calmed down. Their own little world filled with music where Alex could look and touch and feel.

What if?

He shook his head no. There was no way. Breathe.

He closed his eyes.

After what felt like an eternity, Alex finally managed to speak up.

“I, uh… I am gay.”

The room was quiet, and Alex did not feel brave enough to open his eyes. He couldn’t.

He couldn’t bear seeing the hatred in his friends’ eyes that was undoubtedly there.

Wrong. Bad. Disgusting.

Memories were flooding his brain. Every bad joke, every shove, every slur, every punch was forcing its way back into his mind from where he tried to repress them, clear images flashing in front of his eyes.

He couldn’t breathe.

His lungs were crying for air, but his throat wouldn’t let any pass through. His chest felt heavy, his hands were shaking, he couldn’t breathe, he—

He was in someone’s arms.

Alex’s eyes shot open with panic and a painful gasp escaped his lips in a desperate attempt to get some oxygen into his lungs. His head was spinning, his body was shaking, his legs felt weak and yet Alex didn’t find himself collapsing on the floor because someone was holding him up. Someone was hugging him. No, not just someone. Luke. Luke was hugging him, and he could feel Reggie taking one of his hands into his own and squeezing it gently.

“Alex, breathe.”

He latched onto that voice like it was a lifeline, forcing his raging mind to stop and focus focus focus and finally drew in a sharp breath.

---

They just stood there for a while. Alex had buried his face in Luke’s neck as he tried to steady his breathing, though he was no longer fighting the tears streaming down his face and soaking Luke’s shirt. Reggie was still holding his hand, squeezing it every so often in reassurance, but it didn’t take long before he also wrapped his free arm around Alex, drawing him close.

“You’re okay, Alex.”

“We love you, dude.”

Alex could scream.

They held him with such tenderness, like he was the most precious thing in the universe, and he felt safe in their arms, he felt loved.

When he finally tried to pull away, Luke tightened his grip around him for just a moment, like he didn’t want to let him go. He gave in eventually and resorted to just holding Alex’s hand like Reggie, whose eyes were red from crying.

They both squeezed his hands at the same time, and Alex couldn’t help but smile at that.

“Thanks, guys,” he hummed, looking up at two of them.

Reggie blushed and smiled at Alex, shrugging as if to say of course. Beside him, Luke broke out into that stupid idiot grin of his and Alex made a note to smack himself any time he felt like doubting these two idiots again.

As if.

---

Chapter 2: Finally Free

Alex comes out to his mother. It doesn't go well. 

(Oh, and if you’re wondering about the band practice note, read this chapter.)

Thank you for reading <3

[anathewierdo]

I’m okay... and I’m surprised by how true that is

I remember being in my first year of high school and just binge watching Supernatural every chance I would get

And I went through the first three seasons going “ok this is awesome but I wish we’d see more of Jo, of Ellen, of Ash, of Bobby, like the brothers are great but I doubt it’s eleven seasons of this”

And then I got to season four and I met Cas and my brain just went “Hoooooly shit this guy! What even is the deal with this guy?! Friend or foe?! Oh he’s a reluctant friend, I like”, but I saw how Dean was with him, I saw The End, I saw that episode where they go after Raphael and I just went “ok so they’re either super duper best friends or they’re boyfriends I’m sure of it”

Then I saw seasons 6 and 7 and I went “did– did they just broke up? Did– wait they’re not best friends anymore NO”

Also, I will forever be grateful to Felícita Day and Robbie Thompson for Charlie Bradbury. She gave me strength and made me smile in some very dark days :).

AND THEN season 8 happened and I went feral. Like holy crap! Benny was amazing! We met Eileen! The whole purgatory plot line was awesome! The drama between the brothers and the problems between, well, EVERYBODY had me at the edge of my seat and then that flashback happened to where Cas let go of Dean’s hand and I just went “Oh my god they’re so together holy shit I bet they got together”

Season 8 was my favorite because of all the things. And that season finale will always remain my favorite because Sam, because Crowley, because Castiel, because Eileen, because Dean... I was just staring at my screen going “this is new levels of epic”. So many storylines were happening and I loved how it all came together for that season finale. It was heartbreaking. It made sense. It was a plot twist I never saw coming but made perfect sense to me in every episode and I loved every second of it.

And I was fine with Dean and Cas not being shown as together together because I kept going “they’re there but they’re not ready. There’s too much going on.” And as a baby queer who was always looking for older queer characters (because I love seeing older queer people, it reminds me that being queer was never a fashion thing like my parents say), the possibility of Dean, of Cas, of Sam being queer meant the world to me, because hell yes, it’s super valid to figure out who you are regardless of your age and who you have or haven’t slept with.

Season 9, 10 and 11 came and went and I just kept going “Cas is so fucking in love. Dean is so fucking in love. They love each other so fucking much” because of how much they would do for each other (don’t get me wrong the Cas being homeless storyline broke my ducking heart)

But like, Cas gave up an army for Dean. Dean refused to do anything that would risk Castiel when he was possessed by Lucifer to defeat Amara. Dean’s “attraction” to Amara was very obviously forced from Dean’s part, because it was some sort of spell.

And season eleven had its issues, but I liked it nonetheless.

Then Mexican Netflix took down Supernatural and my only way of watching the show was through YouTube clips and gifs here.

Then I met someone who sent me season 12 and I just kept going “HOLY SHIT HOW”

Because we got Mary, we got the Men of Letters, we got the whole Nephilim storyline and I was losing my shit because I didn’t– I didn’t know how to process it and I admit I hated Mary for the longest time but rewatching Supernatural two years ago gave me more of a chance to understand her and I actually like her now that I saw her grow in the show (I can’t say the same for John).

Then there was Dean and Cas and they were still fighting to keep each other alive (although they fought a lot from what I remember) and it always seemed like they were just on the brink of being together together but it never happened, and I both hated it and loved it because those two still had some growing to do.

Season 13 messed me up. In the best kind of ways.

Also! Throughout the seasons the family and the Supernatural world grew and grew and grew and I just loved seeing these characters. It fucking broke my heart when we’d see an old friend and they would just die by the end of the episode... but still, I loved those characters.

I loved how Supernatural went from a very white, very straight show, to a show with very good representation sprinkled here and there (sometimes).

Supernatural was problematic and sometimes even bad in a lot of ways, but it was that sprinkle of great representation that kept me there. Because family didn’t end in blood, and it didn’t start there either. And that... that was huge to me.

I cried when Eileen, when Charlie, when Kevin, when Missouri, when Bobby and when others died. How couldn’t I? I grew to love them and know them and it hit home when one of them fell.

Season 14 happened. And I was... I was blown away. For the first time ever I felt like Supernatural had truly reached their wall. Like they couldn’t go any further.

And then G.O.D. Himself was the final villain and I lost it.

The meta, the symbolism, the whole concept of free will.

I was in cloud nine with the possibilities of where this all could go.

And I enjoyed season 15. Ups and downs and everything. I really did. 15x18 was the best thing that could’ve happened because Cas went off script one last time and saved Dean simply by living his truth... to me, it was the silence in the last two episodes that hurt me, but not 15x18 itself.

It felt awesome to see Cas be himself without fear and go down with a smile on his face because he felt truly, genuinely happy. I cried like a baby because he was gone, but I felt so happy for him because he was happy. Because I felt seen.

Then the finale happened.

And I’m not gonna lie, it felt like a kick in the face.

Suddenly the family was gone. Suddenly the show was in 2005 again. Suddenly, it was only Sam and Dean and... I don’t know, it just felt so... empty, to me. After years of the guys not being completely on their own, to see them alone again felt, well, it felt wrong. But that’s just me.

I also feel like Chuck went down too easily but that is not important right now😂

I mean, we even had a full blown episode where we were told that an ending where a brother died and the other lived was not a good ending. We had this episode where we were told that Castiel was the living embodiment of Free Will because he was the piece that Chuck never counted on, never took in consideration for the story. Castiel, our Castiel, was the only one who went truly, genuinely off script. And by doing so, he was the one who messed with Chuck’s plans.

And obviously I’m not taking away credit from Sam and Dean and their family. God, I loved watching this story grow.

And this show... this complicated, problematic, somehow still heart filled show, ended with a Heaven ending.

I dunno, I was just hoping that having peace didn’t mean having to die to get it. I was hoping that they wouldn’t be alone in the finale because alone? Sam and Dean are great. But with their family? Sam and Dean are unstoppable.

And I get it, anyone can die at any time, but it still felt wrong. That final episode felt wrong.

I’m not saying I’m right. I’m just sharing my journey with Supernatural.

It took me a month and a half to gain the strength to even watch an episode of Supernatural again without shaking and breaking down crying. It took me a week to get back to some sense of normal without crying and feeling like I’d been slapped in the face.

I can’t even listen to Carry On My Wayward Son anymore 😂

And it’s not okay. It’s not. And I’m not looking for validation or anything. I’m just feeling. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

I still am hurt by what happened. But I’m not gonna go lash out at the actors, or even at the writers. I’m mad at the tv network itself.

And it’s totally, completely okay if you enjoyed the finale. It is! I’m happy for you! You saw something I couldn’t and that’s okay! I’m not here to tell you you’re right or wrong for enjoying it. 💖

What is wrong is hopping on other people’s blogs and sending them hate and slurs and invalidating their feelings (like some certain anons and even people that felt too cozy doing that to me)

I’m gonna keep on trying to move on whether I like it or not. I’m gonna find a way to truly enjoy Supernatural again. I’m gonna keep on shipping and making my tumblr experience good for me, because I’m my number one priority and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m gonna keep making friends and I’m gonna do my best to keep my blog a positive space.

I am warning y’all though: there is a difference between hate and criticism. Me criticizing an actor’s actions is very different from hating them. And let’s be honest, I’m not taking my little opinions outside to the real world. I’m not gonna go knocking on someone’s door yelling “I don’t like you” to their face 😂 that would be pathetic. And most importantly: nothing’s gonna happen to them because little old me went “that was wrong of you to do”.

I’m not that important, y’all 😂 I don’t have that sort of impact on people’s lives.

I’m gonna enjoy the SPN family because that’s the fandom I want to stay in. I’m gonna post love towards all my favorite characters and reblog the fics and art that you talented and amazing people put out on the world because they are awesome.

I’m gonna stay right here. And I’ll have my family with me.

The show ended on a sour note for me, but I’m done letting that... that event, keep dragging me down.

Disasters so far aside, I’m looking forward to the rest of 2021. I’m okay. I’m gonna be okay.

I wish you all the best. And holy crap if you got this far, you are an absolute champ.

Here, have a DeanCas hug in compensation for the long post

Take care of yourself, take it one day at a time. I’m here if any of you want to talk. And I’m looking forward to posting more writing.

For now, I love you and I wish you a good night 💖💖💖💖💖💖

[yulmoldauer]

some things are better left unsaid (Tyson Jost/Male OC): Chapter 2

part 1

Chapter 2

Summary: Mason has to deal with the events of the previous night.

Warnings: uh as you can guess if you read the first part, there’s gonna be homophobia/transphobia talked about. Otherwise, there shouldn’t be anything that needs a warning? If I’m wrong just let me know :)

Words: 2,319

Notes: I don’t think I have much! This is like a lot of flashbacks and I’m sorry but that's character building baybee!!! I promise after this it’ll be more present-based stuff. I just love the character and wish I could spew out my brain and make it understandable lol

Fuck.

That was the only thought Mason had upon waking up. The implications of the previous night hit him like a ton of bricks. His hangover was just an added bonus.

The party had been fun, obviously, but Tyson was still here. Tyson had seen his top surgery scars.

“When did you have surgery?”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. A medical degree and some knowledge on what other surgery would leave these scars would be helpful. Mason really did not want to lie, but he wasn’t sure what else he was supposed to do.

Being drunk wasn’t helping, either. In his mind, the world was ending and his career was over after the last fuck up that got him traded…

Rationally, he just burst into tears. Not a dramatic scene or anything, he just felt his eyes watering very quickly and suddenly the tears were rolling down his face.

“Oh, shit. Okay,” Tyson set the water down and hurried to his friend. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know this was- here, will you feel better if you get a shirt on?”

Mason only nodded, allowing Tyson to help him get the shirt on and pull him for a hug.

This just made Tyson think that the scars were from some shitty, traumatic event or something with extremely bad memories. Note to self: don’t fucking ask about them again was written in large letters in his brain.

He did factor in the extremely likely possibility that Mason was drunk and--as anyone with a brain knows--Mason was a hundred times more dramatic when drunk. Still, though, if he was crying, it couldn’t be a good thing.

At least Tyson had been nice enough to leave him some meds and water after forcing him to go to bed.

“You hungry?” Tyson asked softly from the doorway. “I heard you rumbling around in here, I wasn’t watching you sleep,” he clarified quickly.

“Didn’t think you were,” Mason chuckled. “No, I’m not hungry. Thank you, though. You can help yourself to whatever. You know that.”

“Yeah, I made some toast earlier. Fun birthday last night?” Tyson smiled and sat on the edge of the bed as Mason laid back against the headboard and dug the heels of his hands into his eyes.

“You could say that. Thanks, though. Seriously, I had a ton of fun.”

“Yeah, of course. I didn’t stop you from posting anything on social media, though. I dunno why you like taking videos so much.”

“Then I can save them and rewatch them later,” Mason scoffed like Tyson was an idiot. After a few more seconds Tyson moved to get up mere milliseconds before Mason started talking.

“About last night…”

He hesitated, waiting for some kind of confirmation that Tyson was willing to talk about this. There was no sense putting it off, right?

Tyson just raised his eyebrows. “The scars?”

That earned a nod and Tyson sat back down.

“They’re… shit. Okay, sorry. I never meant to lie or anything--fuck that, I never lied. I just... “

“Dude, if it’s something you don’t want to talk about, that’s fine.”

Mason groaned quietly and shook his head. “No, it’s just… I don’t know how to explain it.”

“If you wanna talk, just say it. I’m not gonna freak out or anything. If you don’t wanna, that’s okay too,” Tyson reassured gently.

Truthfully, the curiosity was killing him. It was rare that an injury happened and they didn’t share it with each other. Mason took a few more breaths before nodding. Psyching himself up.

“They’re from my top surgery.”

Silence.

More silence.

Mason officially wanted to die. He was going to have to request another team change, go through the legal battle of making sure he didn’t get outed--

“Like…?” Tyson asked quietly with raised eyebrows.

“Like I had tits and got them removed the summer before I went to college.”

That may have been a relatively vulgar way to put it, but it was true. It was the simplest and least-awkward way he could think to put it.

“Oh,” Tyson nodded a few times. “Thats--I never knew--I mean, I couldn’t, like, tell or anything…”

“Yeah, that was the point,” he sighed and took a sip of the water on the nightstand. “Noone was supposed to know or be able to tell or whatever.”

“So literally no one knows?”

“Not literally, no. My family knows, obviously.”

“But the league?”

At the defeated sigh that escaped his friend, Tyson quickly backtracked. “You don’t have to get into it, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be prying--”

“No, it’s fine. It’s just… a long story that I don’t know if you actually want to hear or if you’re just being nice.”

“Of course I wanna hear, stupid. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t.”

Mason narrowed his eyes at the name, but it was quickly followed with a small smile.

It did take a bit to explain everything, though. How he was drafted into his previous team, everything was fine, and then someone had taken an ungodly amount of time to hit the showers at the same time Mason had been in there.

“Oh, fuck! You scared me,” Mason huffed when he heard the water turn on just across from him.

“What’cha being jumpy for?” the taller guy laughed.

“I’m not jumpy,” Mason grumbled, turning the water off quickly. He wasn’t even sure all the soap was out of his hair, but that didn’t matter. He just needed to get the hell out of there.

“Are you okay, man? You’re being weird-” the other man asked genuinely and glanced over his shoulder. This had been at the same exact time Mason had been trying to just leave as quickly as possible.

There was a few moments of silence that felt like years as the younger grabbed for a towel to cover himself up.

“Are you--?”

“Please, just forget--” Mason tried, but the guy was already turning his water off and grabbing his own towel.

“No, I’m not fucking--are you kidding me, Wright?” he nearly shouted as he stormed out of the room with Mason in tow. “Are you actually kidding me? How the hell have you gotten away with this--”

“I haven’t ‘gotten away with’ anything, you dickhead. It’s none of your business in the first place.”

“It doesn’t matter, you don’t belong here. You know they’ve got the women’s league now, right? It’s not like-”

Mason just shook his head, staring at the floor of the changing room while they were both yanking clothes on as quickly as possible. He didn’t want to hear what was coming next, all the awful shit he’d say.

It wasn’t even what he was saying that was the issue. Mason had heard just about everything at this point and had always had a pretty thick skin. It was the fact that someone he trusted--someone he’d considered family at this point--was saying it.

Didn’t he realize that it wouldn’t be like this if Mason could help it?

“Hey, what the hell is going on?” the head coach cried over them, walking into the room. He hadn’t been concerned about the loudness until it was unbearably obvious that the shouting was getting increasingly angrier and angrier. He wasn’t about to bring up the fact that Mason looked genuinely scared, as if worried about his safety.

The other guy was pissed, going off about how he’d been lied to, he’d been sharing a locker room, dressing room, and showers with a lot of unkind names, and that he wouldn’t keep playing for the team while acting like this never happened.

They ended up in the coach’s office, Mason attempting to towel dry his hair while the other blew off steam. He just didn’t want anyone to see him upset.

Once they were separated, lawyers were brought in with papers and agreements, and the head coach asked Mason if he’d like to request a trade or anything. It wasn’t like he had the option to say no, but he wasn’t exactly upset to go somewhere where he wasn’t worried about going to the bathroom without getting yelled at or beat up by a guy way bigger than himself.

He remembered to thank management before he left for working overtime, it seemed like, to figure out who would take him on such short notice and mid-season.

He was a good defenseman, sure, it just wasn’t easy on such short notice. But what the star player wants, the star player gets.

Colorado was the quickest to take the young defenseman about a year ago, and the rest was history.

“Holy shit,” Tyson murmured after a few quiet moments.

“I thought I was done. I honestly didn’t think anyone was going to pick me up, I thought my career was over. Can you fucking imagine that? Retiring at, like, 22?”

“Yeah, no, that’s… fuck, dude. I’m so sorry that happened.”

“It’s fine, I don’t even really care. I’m happier here, anyway. Especially since it’s not like you’re saying I’m a creep or a fucking… whatever.”

“Does anyone else know? In the league, I mean.”

Mason nodded. “Took a different approach when I got here. Bednar, bare minimum management, and PR knows. PR because if someone ends up outing me, I thought it would be a good idea to have some sort of plan on what to do. And medical staff always has, obviously. I think they know more about me than I do.”

Tyson nodded along, looking at his friend again after a few moments.

“You want this to stay between us, then? Or…?”

The fact that Tyson was even asking made Mason want to cry again. After being fucked over god-knows how many times when it came to being trans, Tyson was the one confirming he’d keep the secret. He wouldn’t give anyone any kind of hint unless Mason wanted him to.

“Yeah.  Between us, please? I dunno, I might come out to the guys eventually, just so they know. I just… I don’t know what I’d do if they react badly--”

“They wouldn’t,” Tyson said quickly. “I promise you they wouldn’t. And even if someone did have an issue with it, they’d just fucking stay quiet. They’d be in the tiny minority.”

“I just don’t know if I can take being traded and going through everything again, Tys.”

At the wavering in Mason’s voice, Tyson reached out and squeezed his friend’s hand.

“You’re not going to get traded over stupid shit like that. Not here, at least.”

“You don’t know--”

“I mean, yeah, I don’t know a lot. But you already said that the most important people who need to know do, they’re okay with it, and it sounds like they’ve got your back. I’ve got your back, too. And if you end up telling the rest of the guys, they’ll have your back too. Even if you end up not telling them, I’m still here for you, man.”

Mason felt about eight tons of weight fall off his shoulders at that. How did he end up with such an amazing friend?

“I just can’t really come out publicly for… I dunno. A while. Ever, maybe? I don’t know.”

“That’s gotta suck. I mean, everyone’s got their shit they want to keep private but… I dunno what I’d do if I literally couldn’t talk about something.”

Especially with how amazing it would be if Mason was able to be that representation for kids like he was who want to play hockey, Tyson thought. The amount of LGBT kids and teenagers who get driven out of hockey is immense, that’s never been a secret. To see an LGBT guy do so well would be amazing, it just sucked it wasn’t possible for Mason to talk about.

And he did want to talk about it. It would suck to come out and deal with that, but if it helped other people he would do it without hesitation. That’s the kind of guy Mason had always been.

“You’re sure you’re not mad that I, like, kinda lied to you about this up until now?” Mason asked, breaking Tyson out of his train of thought.

“Lie?” Tyson furrowed his eyebrows. “Not telling someone something isn’t lying, first off. Second, its none of my fucking business unless you wanted me to know. Even then, this would be a stupid thing to get in the way of being friends with you. I know you call me an idiot all the time, but I like to think I’m not that stupid.”

“You’re definitely not,” Mason chuckled, flipping his blanket off of him and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He shot Tyson a genuine, appreciative smile before downing the painkillers with some water. “Let me get dressed and I can drive you home, if you want. I feel bad making you wait so long,” he murmured. It was well into the afternoon, and even though Tyson constantly reassured that it was fine, he didn’t care, Mason still felt guilty.

It was very clear Mason was hungover when he and Tyson left the building and got into his car, but that was fine. It had just confused Tyson when Mason unbuckled in front of his apartment building.

That is, until he was pulled into a tight hug.

“Thank you so much,” Mason whispered. “Seriously. I… I dunno how to actually tell you how much I appreciate you being so chill.”

Tyson hugged him for a few moments before shaking his head. “It’s really not much to just… I dunno what to call it. Not be an asshole?”

Mason laughed as he let go, allowing Tyson to open the door. “You can text me if you have any questions about… anything. I don’t tell a lot of people, but the people who do know I’m pretty open with.”

“Yeah, of course. See you later, man. Go get rehydrated, okay? You look like shit.”

“Fuck you!”

[m1ssjess]

So I rewatched The Force Awakens on New Year's Eve. Because it's been over a year since I last saw it. And haven't seen it with the added context of TROS.

So here are my stray thoughts and observstions:

Okay. I still absolutley love this movie.

Rey is so young. Baby faced Daisy

But wait! She has boobs.

Kylo Ren is an amazing character. The power. The unpredictability. The costume. Adam driver. The setup for redemption! The character design and executions is amazing.

His Darth Vader Worship that was never addressed in future moviea. It was the perfect set-up to help along his redemption! Anakin swooping in and setting him straight. Helping him find a true balance between passion and love.

"What girl?" Foreshadowing a connection between Rey and Kylo/Ben. Prophecy, maybe??? The first time I ever heard that line my writers brain pricked up.

Hux is a great villain too. Pretty boy, but that speech??? Ammiright???

Rey is a fandom self-insert. Without a doubt.

Where did Snap get the douchbag reputation from? He has like 2 lines.

Poe has no canon backstory here and it shows. He *was* supposed to be killed off after all. I love him. So funny.

Maz is totally hinting at Luke being Rey's the fandoms/father. It's so obvious. Reylo have twisted it to maybe mean Ben solo but its painfully obvious that's NOT what JJ meant it to be. Maybe they were planning on making them cousins after all??? That could explain Kylo's "What girl?" I'm so glad they didnt, but it's so obviously hinted at.

Finn is such an interesting character! They did him so dirty in TROS. He should be out there rescuing stormtroopers! He was a child soldier and they never follower up on that!? Love him so much.

Maz Kanata is my favourite. Love eveything about her. That she runs a canteen. That she built that giant statue of herself. That she's horny for Chewie. That she somehow had Luke's lightsaber from Bespin.

Han's death. 😭 Omg. Harrison deserves all the awards. (I absoluley loved the theory back in the day that Han activated the lightsaber)

The hug between Leia and Rey makes no fucking sense. Fan self-insert for sure.

Why did Leia ignore Chewie!?

I would die for BB-8

Love how bad-ass Rey is. "Stop taking my hand!"

Finn and Rey are so precious together! I can completely understand finnrey. I don't think I have once read fanfiction that has accuratly captured how precious they are together.

POE AND REY DID MEET AT THE BASE! no proper introduction, but suddenly the forced poe/rey in TLJ is so much more stupid.

God, after watching this you can tell aesthetically that JJ literally skipped TLJ and went straight back to TFA. The lighting. The costumes.

Poor Leia in that ugly-ass vest/pantsuit combo. This makes me appreciate the costuming for TLJ so much more than I already did.

They totally went into this blind with no bloody plan didnt they? They just threw foreshadowing out there and hoped that some of it would stick. AND THEY DIDNT HAVE A DECENCY to *try* work it into TROS.

Finn is a cinnamon roll.

Poe is defintly gay. Or pansexual.

Rey is a feral sand goblin with a heart of gold and a pile of abandonment issues up to *here* and I love her. So glad where TLJ took her though.

Kylo Ren is *chef kiss*

And now I'm gonna go watch The Last Jedi for the first time in a year...