#rin itoshi ff

[sweetheartsaku]

(BLLK) this life, this one

𝜗𝜚 ITOSHI RIN: CHAENOMELES.

a/n: [fem!reader] me when dad rin dad rin i. i am so weak for him this will not be the last of it. YOU WILL BE FED RIN KISSERS

the alarm clock that sat on your bedside table blinked 2:13 a.m. as you stirred from an uneasy sleep. you roll toward the empty space beside you for rin's familiar comforting weight to fall protectively across your arms, but the space was cold.

you frown, sit up and carefully listen. then you hear something. downstairs, someone giggling.

you slipped out of bed carefully and padded down the hall toward the soft glow emanating from the kitchen. with every step, the sounds grew clearer: your baby's bubbly laughter and rin's unmistakable soft chuckle.

curious, you peeked into the kitchen and the image that graced your eyes almost burst your heart.

rin was sitting cross-legged on the tiled floor, his hair adorably messy from sleep and his hoodie slightly askew. in front of him was a tub of neopolitan ice cream, flavours all mixed up. sitting in his lap was your baby fuyumi clutching a tiny spoon, babbling excitedly between bites.

"itoshi rin. itoshi fuyumi." you sternly whispered, leaning against the doorway, your arms crossed but a fond smile tugging at your lips. "care to explain what's going on here?"

rin looked up, evidently startled for a moment, lips agape, before offering a rare grin. "'yumi woke up." he said simply, nodding toward the tiny human in his lap. "and she was hungry."

"so naturally, you thought ice cream at two in the morning was the solution?" you teased, raising an eyebrow as you stepped closer.

"of course," he deadpanned, gently wiping a smudge of chocolate off your baby's cheek with the pad of his thumb. "but... look at her. worth it." he says the latter part under his breath.

your baby let out a squeal of delight, waving her spoon triumphantly in the air as if in agreement.

you shook your head, unable to hold back a laugh. "unbelievable."

rin smirked, and held out the tub of ice cream, "want some?"

regardless of how much you scold them for it, you're also not able to resist it. with a drawn-out sigh, you took a spoon out from the drawer, plumping yourself down beside them onto the floor. "only because."

the three of you sat there, sharing ice cream and stealing quiet moments of joy in the stillness of the night. your daughter fuyumi, thoroughly energized-by-the-sugar-rush decided that her small pink plastic spoon made an excellent drumstick, causing her to start tapping it against rin's knee and giggling uncontrollably at the sound.

rin played along, tapping his own spoon in rhythm. "we have a small musician..." he said, his eyes soft as they met yours.

"or a troublemaker,"

"takes after their mom."

you gasped in mock offense, and rin laughed a rare, unguarded sound that made your heart skip a beat.

as the minutes ticked by, the ice cream tub slowly emptied, and your daughter began to yawn, their tiny fists rubbing at their sleepy eyes. rin scooped them up effortlessly, cradling them against his chest as he stood.

“i’ll put 'yumi back to bed,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

you followed him upstairs, watching as he carefully tucked your daughter into her crib. his movements so gentle, like he was handling the most precious pearl in the world.

he walks out with a faint smile. the smile you fell for when you were 16. "thanks for not killing me over the ice cream," he whispered.

you smiled, leaning up to kiss him softly. "you're just lucky you guys are cute."

he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close. resting your head against his shoulder as you both stood there, watching your baby rest.

and in that quiet moment, with the warmth of rin's arms around you and the peaceful rise and fall of your baby's breaths, you knew there was nowhere else you'd rather be.

it has to be this life.

with this one.

[mikareo]

eternal sunshine ── itoshi rin

w.c. 841 content: itoshi rin x fem reader, post-break up angst

༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

are you okay?

he keeps asking. that same question appears in your messages a few times a day, a few times too many. it's nice to know he cares, a little bit in the slightest at least, but it doesn't help with the raw aching in the center of your chest— where all of the affection you hold for rin is struggling to find a place in your body to settle. it's pulling at your skin and tugging your limbs, urging your fingers to type the infamous 'i miss you' that lives in the delusion your heart wants to come true.

but you do miss him.

you really miss him.

you want to move on, but you can't. you can't seem to push past the denial that you aren't together anymore. you broke up. he broke up with you. you aren't a couple. you aren't his girlfriend. you aren't the love of his life. rin will forget about you. he'll forget you. you don't matter.

you're nothing and he's everything.

he holds so much real estate in your chest that you find yourself starting the car, backing onto the street, and heading towards the home you once shared. will you regret this? probably. do you even care anymore? no.

so, when you raise your hand before the door, there's no hesitation, no anxiety seeping from your fingertips— just heavy grief that hasn't been processed yet. grief that you're begging to receive closure for; and you're one step closer to that gift when the handle turns, and you're face-to-face with the man who broke your heart.

his eyes look heavy. there isn't an ounce of surprise in them. it's almost as if he was expecting you...

...god, you're so predictable. you're so pathetic and desperate that he knew you'd cave and come. why can't you be strong like him? why can't you move on?

"i can't let you in." rin murmurs. his statement is firm and his body doesn't budge. "this isn't healthy, baby."

in spite of his words, he cups your face. the feeling of his palms is familiar. a touch that your dreams welcome when you can't find sleep, and yearn for the comfort you once shared. his blue gaze has love hidden behind those steely irises. you know it. there has to be some love left in there for you. you can't have just vanished from his heart. that's what you choose to believe— a perfect example of how you convince yourself to stay stranded in denial despite knowing otherwise.

"let's talk," you beg, "one last time."

"what's left to say?" his voice cracks and rin's strength wavers for a moment. "i can't do this. i'm not cut out for this. i don't have time for a relationship; i've already said all of this, please don't make me say it again."

you can tell he's on the verge of tears, lip quivering and eyebrows furrowed, rin pulls you closer. his hands magnetically find your body and he embraces you in a tight hug. it's selfish. he's leading you on once more and giving you false hope that maybe, this time, the conversation will end differently. he longs for the comfort you bring him, but won't provide that same favor when you ask for it.

it's too much to handle alone. you're tired.

this needs to stop.

"i've just been thinking so much lately." you begin, trying to find some courage. any courage. anything to help. "and i've realized that i put so much into this. i put my all into you. i gave you everything, and i'm not— i'm just not—"

"not what?"

a sigh escapes you.

"i'm not enough to convince you to stay."

rin's arms tighten. "you're perfect. you are. i'm the one who's not enough for you. believe me—"

"how can i?" you interrupt. "if i was perfect, you'd try harder. you'd want to keep me around so we can help each other be better. i hate who i'm becoming without you. i have no one to care for. i have all of these feelings and i don't know where to put them because they just want to feel for you. i'm running around in circles trying to process everything that happened because it was so abrupt, but i just can't do it— i want you. all i want is you. i don't know who i am anymore. rin please. you can still change your mind. i'm begging. i've begged so many times. let this work, just once. i love you."

his lips are on yours in a split second, deeply kissing you to end your mindless ramble, and his plan works. he shuts you up.

he ends the conversation, once again, with a kiss; never giving a real answer to your questions. never giving a solution to the dilemma. rin just restarts the cycle of manipulation that he doesn't even realize he's doing. you can't let each other go. your efforts will always fail. you'll be stuck in this loop forever. lonely, yet loving him.

[xavcore]

ıllı ⩇⩇:⩇⩇ ∿ blue lock p☆rn links ˎˊ˗

featuring : seishiro nagi, itoshi rin, michael kaiser, rensuke kunigami, mikage reo & shidou ryusei x f!reader ── м∂ηι

ꜱᴇɪꜱʜɪʀᴏ ɴᴀɢɪ ⭑.ᐟ

not a hassle but 69

lil break after a big game

worshipping his abs while rubbing his cock

ɪᴛᴏꜱʜɪ ʀɪɴ ⭑.ᐟ

a beautiful arc of your back

doing it in a changing room

evening bliss on his day off

ᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟ ᴋᴀɪꜱᴇʀ ⭑.ᐟ

licking your pussy for goodluck

when you wear cute underwear for him

new panties but he shouldn't them

ʀᴇɴꜱᴜᴋᴇ ᴋᴜɴɪɢᴀᴍɪ ⭑.ᐟ

having your cunt fucked in reverse cow-girl

getting your ass spanked after a fight at a party

cumming w/o permission gets you punished

ᴍɪᴋᴀɢᴇ ʀᴇᴏ ⭑.ᐟ

cozy day n' relieving stress

he loves maid cosplay on you

obsessing over your bouncy ass

ꜱʜɪᴅᴏᴜ ʀʏᴜꜱᴇɪ ⭑.ᐟ

teasing that horny mf

he caught your sex toy

using his vibrator on him

[ablmx]

„𝙎𝙖𝙮 𝙞𝙩 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠.“

𝘳𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘵𝘰𝘴𝘩𝘪 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 - 𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 - 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 - 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵

Rin Itoshi is not good with words.

You learned that early on, before you even got close to him. He’s sharp-tongued, brutally honest, and doesn’t care about sugarcoating anything. But when it comes to feelings—his feelings—he shuts down completely.

It’s frustrating sometimes.

Like right now.

“You’re unbelievable, Rin,” you huff, crossing your arms as you glare at him.

He’s standing in front of you, hands stuffed in his pockets, gaze unwavering. That stupid blank stare of his, the one that drives you insane because you can never tell what he’s thinking.

“What did I do?” he asks, voice as flat as ever.

Your jaw tightens. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

Rin exhales sharply through his nose. He shifts his weight, glancing to the side. “If you have something to say, just say it.”

Your fingers curl into fists at your sides. He’s so infuriating. You’re trying to get something—anything—out of him, but he’s acting like none of this matters. Like you don’t matter.

And maybe that’s the problem. Maybe you’ve been reading into things too much. The lingering touches, the way he always looks for you after a match, how he listens when no one else does.

Maybe you were stupid for thinking he felt the same way.

“Forget it,” you mumble, turning on your heel.

You barely take a step before you feel it—fingers wrapping around your wrist, firm but not forceful. Rin pulls you back just enough to stop you from walking away.

Your heart stutters.

When you glance over your shoulder, his eyes are sharper than before—something intense simmering beneath the usual cold exterior.

“You’re mad because I don’t say things,” he states, voice quieter now.

You don’t respond. You don’t need to.

Rin exhales, like this is physically painful for him, like dragging the words out will kill him. But then—

“I like you.”

It’s blunt. Honest. Completely Rin.

Your breath catches. You turn fully to face him, but he beats you to it. His fingers slide from your wrist to your hand, lacing them together with a rare kind of hesitance. His grip is firm, like he’s afraid you’ll slip away if he lets go.

He doesn’t look away when he says it again.

“I like you, okay? So don’t walk away.”

Something in your chest tightens—because this, right here, is the closest thing to a confession Rin Itoshi will ever give. It’s not dramatic, not poetic, but it’s real.

You squeeze his hand, lips parting, heartbeat loud in your ears.

And then you say the only thing that matters.

“I like you too, idiot.”

For the first time that night, Rin smirks—just slightly.

“Say it again.”

“Shut up.”

But you don’t let go of his hand. And neither does he.

[h3rmess]

guys I wanna write a blue lock ship ff lowkey... who should I write about

(these are the ones that I am most comfortable with writing for, do NOT suggest rinsae, kainess, kaisagi, barousagi or allsagi)

everything from hiosagi onwards will most likely be platonic xx

[sasdavvero]

sasdavvero Blue Lock FF masterlist — FF not in a series ; 2025

— complete masterlist

FF not in a series ; 2023

FF not in a series ; 2024

Blue Lock FF masterlist — BLLK Series

I will gradually check the links to see if they all still work (i copy pasted them). If anything doesn't, you can send me an ask about it! :> Created: 13/06/2025 Last Updated: 18/06/2025

2025

il sole continua a splendere: Nanase & his family, tw // suicide [ita]

il bene nel male: Nanarin, Angst, Songfic [eng]

Time to Breathe: Team Kindness, Cuddling, Fluff [eng]

Voglio Averti Account: Team Kindness, Secret Identity, Metafiction [12/12] [eng / tumblr post] - previously called Midnight Break -

Third Wheel: Team Kindness, Love Triangle, Angst with a Happy Ending [eng / tumblr post]

Calm: Platonic Team Kindness, Hugs, Light Angst, Overthinker Isagi Yoichi [eng]

Notebook: Isagi & Bachira, cw // calories counting/implied ED [eng]

Freckles / Relief: Hionase-Team Kindness friendship, two separate one shots, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, cw // vomiting (2/2) [Freckles / Relief]

I'd watch the News: Nanase & Kai (OC), cw // implied suicidal thoughts, hurt/comfort [eng / ita-ao3 / ita-efp]

Morning Walk: [vent] Isagi Yoichi, TW // Eating Disorders, Purging, mentions of throwing up, starvation and self-harm [eng]

Urlava: solo Nanase, tw // autolesionismo, ispirato al capitolo 294 [ita-ao3 / ita-efp / eng]

sa di buono: only Isagi, tw // ED/DCA, binging/purging, angst [ita-ao3 / ita-efp / eng]

Vivo: Nanase Nijiro-centric, bllk 298 spoilers, Happiness [eng-tumblr post / eng-ao3 / ita-ao3 / ita-efp]

mi odieranno? (si ricorderanno di me?): Pre-Slash Team Kindness, Post ch289, Fluff and Light Angst [ita-ao3 / ita-efp / eng]

sarebbe fantastico: Second part of the previous story, Pre-Slash Team Kindness, Fluff and Angst and Crack [ita-ao3 (4/4)/ ita-efp (4/4) / eng (4/4)]

— you can always come home: isagi introspection after ch304 [tumblr post / eng / ita-ao3 /ita-efp]

— concession: Femlock, NanaRin smut, introspective/poetic [ita-ao3 / ita-efp / ita-wattpad / eng / tumblr post]

picchiami: Hiori-centric, POV 2nd person, Anger issues, Murder Fantasy [ita-ao3 / ita-efp / ita-wattpad / eng / tumblr post]

Friend: Hiori & OC, introspetcion, angst, attempt at horror, Light Novel Inspired [eng / tumblr post]

[dilucs-princess]

it seems like you need some inspiration.

so idk if you're into dacriphilia, but I'm thinking of sub rin itoshi crying from you overstimulating him.

he'd be so fucking pretty lawd

(Ik it's kinda ooc but that's the point of ffs. have fun!!)

Omg yes... his hands are tied to the headboard and You're holding his hip as your other hand won't stop moving up and down his cock. Tears have gathered in his eyes and he's certain he can't come anymore! But you say that he can and he wants to be a good boy! He's gonna be the best fucking boy in the world. Moans and whimpers are falling from his lips, his voice like honey as he whimpers 'can't.. no more, mommy...' but he whines as you mount him, fucking his ass hard as you stroke his cock in time with your thrusts. Tears start falling from his pretty ocean coloured eyes as he feels himself tip toeing the edge of release. His head is thrown back as sobs, your soft voice helping him through his high. Poor thing is surprised he even has cum left in him. But you just smile gently, cupping his face as you praise him, wiping away a few stray tears

[sad-stucky-shipper-107]

I don't hate Rin. I like him as a character. I love Yukimiya and I love Sae Itoshi so goddamn much. And Kaiser, I love that clown too and also Ness, my baby. But the sheer amount haters in the fandom Isagi has in this fandom who are also Sae, Rin. Yukimiya, Kaiser or Ness fans WILL probably turn me into an anti 🤠 Like. I get it. They're your blorbo. But this is Isagi's manga, and calling him mediocre and saying that he's winning because of protag Halo. And calling Kaneshiro-Sensei's writing bad?? Like its seriously pissing me off.

Like go read another manga ffs if you hate him that much. I don't think everyone needs to love isagi, or even like him. But if you're reading the manga you should at least not hate him. Hes the focus of it. OFC HES WINNING.

DUMB FUCKS.

[ryuzakistoe]

Reunited once more PART 1 (Rin Itoshi x Fem!reader)

Childhood friends, angst, language, fem!reader, 2 parts

It's been a while since you last spoke to Rin. The last time you saw him was when Sae came back home. Since then, he has been acting "differently," leading to an argument. It's something you deeply regret. You wished you had done something to keep him from leaving...

a/n: HEYYY so I decided that I would be doing another Rin Itoshi ff because I have no idea who to write about next and stuff….BUT for my other ones ill do different characters! Maybe even from different animes too sooo….

BTW THIS IS PART 1 THERE IS 2 PARTS!!!

(this one is all angst btw but next part will have fluff and comfort to make up for all the angst in this one!!!!)

How long has it been? How many years have passed? When was the last time you saw him?

Well, its been 3 years. 3 long years since you last seen or heard from him.

~~~🥀~~~

Ever since Sae came back from Spain, Rin changed. Rin had always been so sweet, kind, and shy around you.

But on that day, he acted so cold towards you, staring down at you as if you were a mere pest.

Those same eyes that would show kindness and careness, were now gone—vanished.

Everytime he would look or at least spare a glance in your direction, it would always be filled with carelessness, emptiness, and even a hint of annoyance.

It pained you deeply that he would now perceive you as some ‘bug’.

You tried talking to him, asking him whats wrong, and what happened, but he would always shut the conversation down or just plainly ignore you.

He even lashed out at you once, complaining and irritated by your nonstop questions. He even talked about how your constant presence annoyed him.

…

“Do you ever just shut the fuck up Y/n?!”

…

Those harsh words pierced your heart. You felt as if a blade was stabbed right through your chest.

Your mouth was left agape as you tried to form a word. Unfortunately, none came.

Tears started to pool in the corner of your eyes, threatening to spill any moment now.

Noticing the quietness, Rin glanced back behind him, catching sight of the state you were in.

As soon as his eyes came into contact with your figure, he couldn't help but let out a scoff, although feeling guilty inside.

“Honestly, seeing you like this is pathetic. You really are embarrassing.”

As if it couldn't get any worse, the tears that were building up finally let loose. As if water was breaking through a dam.

The tears kept falling. Showing no signs of stopping any time soon.

Your breath hitched as you tried to contain yourself. Although there was no reason in doing so as it was proved impossible right now. Your nose began to get all red and runny from the crying you were doing.

You hated this.

You hated how you let his words easily affect you.

Whether it was comforting, kind words or aggressive, and hurtful words like this, you would always take them to heart.

But who could blame you as you grew up with the kindest, most caring, sweetest boy? You always relied on him.

Everytime you needed advice or consolation, Rin was always the first person you would seek for.

It was hard to believe that he was now some cold, heartless jerk who couldn't give two shits about you now.

But as they say, old habits die hard.

It was almost impossible to picture a life were Rin wasn't in it. After all, he’s helped you all these years.

…

After a bit of time of your silent crying, Rin decided to speak.

“Ill be leaving now. I'm finally leaving this shithole of a neighborhood behind.”

Wait...what..?

“Rin…? W-what do you mean your leaving..?” you manage to mumble out as your curiosity and anxiety got the best of you, wanting to know where he's going.

Rin let out yet another small scoff as he talked.

“Do I need to repeat myself? I said what I said.” Rin harshly spoke.

Hearing his sharp tone made you wince, but you had to know where he was going. Was he leaving for good, going on vacation, or just taking a break?

“Are…are you leaving for good..?” you softly uttered as your tears managed to pause momentarily, hoping that wasn't the answer.

Rin let out an aggravated sigh as he turned his body to face you.

“Do you really think I would want to stay here in this lukewarm place any longer?”

There it was. That word ‘lukewarm’. He would always say it now ever since Sae came back.

He let out yet another sigh as he continued talking.

“I got accepted to some soccer program so ill be attending there. Then soon after ill be moving after. I never planned to stay here anyways.”

After hearing this, you couldn't help but feel a hint of anger.

He would be leaving? For good? After all these memories you both made…they’ll be forgotten just like that?

Your disbelief and irritation now took over your earlier saddened state.

Without thinking much, you couldn't help but let out an angered yet upset confession.

“So you’ll be leaving? Just like that? What about us?! What about our childhood memories we shared here?! Your just gonna discard all of that?”

Hearing your raised voice only served to further aggravate Rin. How dare you speak to him like that?

He glared down at you as his hands balled into fists, his knuckles slowly transitioning into a white, pale color from his intense grip.

“So what of it? Of course I'll be leaving it all behind. Your nothing but a nuisance to me. Always leeching off me, seeking for solace and attention! All those childhood memories were no other than some mere enjoyable experiences.” Rin retorted back as his teeth slightly clenched in fury.

Now this…this was the most hurtful thing he could have said to you. Did he always perceive you that way? Some leech?

His cruel words made your eyes widen in shock. How could he say such a thing? Did he never want to stay with you from the start?

No.

Its not that.

It was obvious that he enjoyed—no, cherished those old times back then. He loved hanging out with you, spending time with you, and doing activities with you. He kept it all in his heart.

So, how could he spit out those lies just now?

Was it Sae’s doing?

Maybe.

Was it stress from his soccer career?

Maybe.

Or was it really all you?

Maybe.

It hurt. It hurt a lot to hear and witness Rin acting this way toward you—perhaps even toward other people.

Does he even know how much his words and actions are affecting you? Probably not.

You slowly look back up at him as you begin to speak your mind. After all, all of this was just one big pile of bullshit.

“Do you really mean that? Do you really believe that all those childhood memories were just for enjoyment and satisfaction in your life? I find that hard to believe.” you muttered out as your eyes narrowed down at him, exposing all the emotions you were feeling at that moment.

Rin casted his gaze onto you once more as he analayzed your words.

The thing was that Rin never truly stopped caring about you.

All this fighting, arguing, and bickering was doing a big enough toll on him as it was for you.

He felt guilty and regretful for every harsh word he spat at you.

He couldn't help but hold Sae responsible for everything. Sae was the one who shaped him to become the way he is now.

In the beginning, Rin was unintentionally being unfriendly and distant to you right after his interaction with Sae. He felt bad afterwards and wanted to apologize, but for some reason, he couldn't.

He knew that you were shattering apart. He knew that he was causing you pain. He knew that he was the reason for your sorrow.

And that pained him; he never thought that he would be the reason why you were so upset and miserable, especially when he liked you.

He soon came to a decision to try to at least distance himself away from you as to not harm or hurt you any further.

But, it soon became a difficult challenge as you were always around him.

He wanted to break the act and admit to you how sorry he truly is but he couldn't.

He didn't want to see the hurt all over your face. Especially if he was the one causing it.

Since he couldn't bear to see the pain on your face, he decided to sever ties with you or try to push you away.

At this moment, he hoped you would back off after he told you he was leaving.

Rin’s gaze lingered on you a little more than necessary before he finally spoke.

“Y/n. What I said is true. I merely saw all this as an enjoyable experience. Why can't you understand that?” he said as his voice lacked any emotion.

You stared back at him feeling..—well you didn't know what you were feeling.

Was he really admitting what he felt about both of your guys time together?

So why?

Why did he choose to stay with you at that time when he only found it ‘enjoyable’ and ‘distracting’ but not something to cherish and treasure?

Well, you also couldn't mostly blame him. Whenever he tried to leave, you would always pull or hold him back.

“Do you really mean what you say? Is this what your feeling right now?” you spoke as your voice began to crack, revealing how hurt you truly are.

Rin took a good look at you.

He couldn't do this for any longer anymore.

The way your eyes looked so hurt and miserable made him feel such drastic pain in his heart.

If you had told his younger self that he would cause you this much pain, young Rin would have been in denial and thought it was a joke.

He can't believe that he was hurting you, especially when he swore he would always care and look after you.

But now, the only way to care and protect you was if you would finally let him go.

“Its how I feel Y/n. Its how I always felt.” he nonchalantly spoke as he forced himself to hold back his true emotions.

“Always…?” you softly mumbled as his words continued to echo in your head.

He's always felt like this?

That was it. That was all you needed to hear as you finally began to accept it.

He's always felt like this.

At that moment, you felt numb. You felt nothing, or to be exact, you felt everything. You just didn't know how to express it in that overwhelming moment.

But the signs? he didn't show any signs that he wanted to stop spending time with you.

Great… now you were in denial.

While having inner conflicts with yourself, you began to notice Rin’s presence fading away.

Breaking out if your trance and looking up, you saw Rin walking away.

‘Wait..’

‘Please wait..dont go yet..’

‘Rin..’

You wanted to say something, mutter something, yell something, but you couldn't.

The truth about his feelings for you was holding you back. You didn't want to burden him any further.

But now you regretted it.

As it would be the last time you would see him in a while.

“Rin….”

a/n: sooo was this good for a whole thing of angst???BTW after completing both parts I mightttt do an isagi yoichi one but idkkk🥲 BUT OMGOMGOMG IM SO EXCITED FOR OCTOBER 5THHH

THEY BETTER NOT DO SAE DIRTY😣

(he's so cute, handsome, beautiful, majestic, pretty, gorgeous, stunning, exquisite, captivating, ravishing, fetching, good looking, attractive, lovely, etc.)

[ruruumin]

WHY CANT I POST ANYTHING ON THE RIN ITOSHI TAG FFS

ITS MAKING ME MAD1!!!

[sweetheartsaku]

(BLLK) FOR MY LOVE IS COLD

𝜗𝜚 ITOSHI RIN: AEONIUM

a/n: [gn!reader, 1.6k wc] OOC RIN OOC RIN!!! dw rin kissers,, fluff will drop after exam szn :3c

"could you stop leeching onto me? it looks pathetic."

you had hit rock bottom for what felt like the 27th time this week, and all you wanted was to be held by your boyfriend. he was watching one of his previous games in his room. you had come home exhausted and distressed, trying your hardest to keep it all in as your eyes sting, blinking at the ceiling. all you wanted right then and there was the precious gaze of your one and most beloved boyfriend, itoshi rin.

you gently place yourself next to him as he intently watches his game. your gentle hand instinctively reaches out to caress a stray hair out of his face, eyes lovingly glued onto him. that was, before he swatted you away. your eyes widen.

oh. okay, again? mistake, maybe? only innocently yearning the warmth of your beloved after a freezing morning, you reach out again. before being proven wrong as he swatted your hand away from his jaw, again, this time with more venom.

"can't you control yourself? its annoying me." he scowls, his tone cold and careless. his turquoise eyes making contact with yours, showing you a side you've never seen before.

"oh— uhm..." what was happening right now? you felt your heartstring tug. hard.

"how much more embarrassing can you be?"

your eyes widen, your heart sinks like a messy melody that abruptly stops. an out of tune violin's string snaps.

“do y-you mean that?” you whisper under your breath, breaking eye contact as the smallest tears can't help but swell in your eyes. rin lets out a scoff, noticing you break eye contact and the tears which forms in your eyes. he leans down once to be at eye level with you.

"tch- why would i say it if i didn't mean it? don't get all emotional." he says coldly.

you pull away, gently pushing yourself off the spot next to him, still using your gentleness as you walk off.

“i.. need to go to the bathroom.”

rin's eyes narrow, seeing you push yourself away from him. he's not even sure why you're reacting in this way. he lets out a grunt before he watches you start to walk away, his eyes following suit. but what? what is making him walk over to your direction? he didn't need to; he could've just let you rot. right?

locking yourself inside; curling up against the door, like a blossom shrivelling from the merciless, dry sun. knees pressed at your chest, like a bandaid which temporarily covers the wet wound. wiping your endless flow of tears, you place your head on your knees.

rin sighs at hearing the sound of the door being locked, a part of him is feeling irritated. yet— guilty? he makes his way to the door, knocking on it.

the irritated side of him spits. "this is so stupid." he whispers under his breath, yet that was all the silence needed to be filled.

you choke on your own sob and instantly cover your mouth. was he really saying all that? that's not the rin you fell in love with. that was probably the last response you’d ever want to hear. what has gotten into your own boyfriend?

rin's eyebrows furrow at the sound of the broken sob. he knows you're upset because of his tone and words, but, it's not like he meant to make you cry. right? he bangs on the door, this time a little harder than before.

"let me in." he says firmly.

scared at what he might do at the harshness of the knocks, you immediately open the door. did i just open the door out of fear? your eyes widen at the thought, and you step back as your meet his eyes through your glossy lids.

rin doesn't say a word upon seeing your face, his eyes studying your features up close. the sight of you looking like that because of his words and tone, just makes his heart... ache. seeing you look at him so fearfully breaks him, he's feeling regret for what he said. he's never seen you like this before, it's heartbreaking for him to see.

he sighs deeply, his expression softening somewhat.

"are you... going to keep crying?" he asks lowly, the slightest hint of regret clear in his voice.

"why are you so mean?"

welp, here you were.

dishevelled and hot, bothered and uncomfy. some sort of funny feeling lingered in the air as it got stuck in your throat, like a lyric that doesn't rhyme in a romantic dissonance.

he frowns at your question, "i am not trying to be mean. you are just thinking too much about everything." he tries to deny himself, responding bluntly, eyes studying your expression. your eyes widen even more as more tears can't help but stream down. you felt like you were going to puke. why was he like this? why... would he say that?

rin's eyes widen slightly at seeing your reaction, more tears falling down your face and your eyes widening, it's making his heart ache even more, for some reason.

he clenches his jaw, feeling even more regret and guilt. he didn't mean to make you this emotional and scared. he sighs deeply once more.

"w-wait. don't cry, you know i didn't mean it—" did itoshi rin just... stutter? he says it softly, taking a step closer to you.

you flinch immediately, the same feeling after opening the door out of fear comes back. rin watches the way you flinch away from him, it makes his heart ache even more. he feels like the shittiest boyfriend ever. but why can't he admit it? he then slowly and gently reaches a hand out to grab your wrist, making him come even closer to you, his body now a few inches away from yours.

"don't be scared, i won't hurt you…" he says quietly. it's like he was a monster.

“b-but you just did-!”

rin lets out another deep sigh, it's like your words are further stabbing him in the heart.

he doesn't even know where it all went wrong, he just didn't want to seem weak and vulnerable, he didn't mean to make you feel scared or hurt. he swallows thickly, his eyes meeting yours.

"that wasn't my intention…don't look at me like that." he whispers, his hand still on your wrist.

“b-but i asked you! if you.. really meant those words and you instantly replied 'yes-!'"

rin's eyes widen in realization and his expression falters hearing those words. he feels his stomach drop upon realizing what you said, a wave of guilt washing over him.

he goes silent. eyes glued to everything but your soaked face, knowing he did that to you. his hand still gripping your wrist.

he doesn't say anything else, he just watches you.

“i d-didnt mean to be clingy and embarrassing-- i just wanted to be held by my boyfriend—! at one of the lowest points of my life— i thought spending time with my— what i call ‘boyfriend’ would make me feel better, b-because it always does--!” you hiccup, letting your true emotions flow in love and care for rin.

your words hit his heart like a brick. you're telling him everything, and you look so hurt and vulnerable, and it's his fault. he's the reason for that. his heart aches, it's painful for him to see you like this. he clenches his jaw, swallowing thickly as he's still staring at you.

"you thought being with me would make you feel better?" he says quietly, his voice wavering slightly.

“y-yes ofcourse—! it always does and i— ive never felt stupid or embarrassing when im around you— because i thought you loved me and I love you—!”

rin's heart feels like bursting out of his chest right now. your words and your tone, the way you're looking at him. he's the reason your self-esteem is probably the lowest its ever been right now. he swallows again, his jaw clenching even tighter.

"i-i do love you. you know i do.." he says in a quiet strained voice.

in a quick response, “well why would you say those things? out of love?”

he hesitates for a moment before he responds. his eyes glance to the side briefly before he looks back at yours. he swallows once more, feeling the guilt building up inside him. rin’s heart aches upon hearing your words. you're trying, more than hard enough, and he just wasn't able to see it. he was frustrated and he didn't mean to be so harsh.

"your hands were all over, and it was starting to get on my nerves. i didn't mean to hurt you…" he says, a note of clear regret in his voice.

“i am trying to be as loving and as patient as i can... just like before we started dating… and i st-still am-! loving you is as easy as pie but i just— just—! never thought you would say that stuff.”

he takes a step closer to you, standing directly in front of you. he sighs once more, his eyes meeting yours again, guilt clear in them.

"i wasn't thinking. i didn't think before i said it." he confesses.

“there are so many rude comments i could make right now. so many voices i can raise and so much anger and sadness i could lash on you. but i choose not to because i love you.”

he swallows thickly once more, his heart hurting even more. you're going to be the death of him. his hands subconsciously curl into fists at his sides.

"i don't deserve you, i'm so sorry…"

you instantly capture him and hold him in your arms, gently saying, just like you has been for the past couple minutes, what came out of your heart.

“don't say that, sweetheart.”

[mikareo]

⌗ RATIONALISM ₊ ˖ ་. rin itoshi x fem reader (6.6k)

⊹ ⠀⠀ for as long as he can remember, rin's world has been in black and white - giving him no reason to appreciate his mother’s profession as an artist and the beauties that art can provide. however, an accidental meeting with you gives him reason to doubt his former beliefs - proving to him that there may be true beauty in a world that’s void of everything bright, that beauty being the sunshine that you provide. 

contains; colorblind!rin, painter!reader, rin's mom is reader’s art mentor, rin hates art, strangers to friends to lovers, major crushing from both sides, slow burn but also not slow burn (like a nice simmering burn), swearing, fluff, reader acts like she’s on an adrenaline rush 24/7, jealousy, angst, explosive arguments, lowkey toxic, extremely inaccurate depictions of colorblindness!!, rin sucks at flirting (very canon of him...) author's note; there'll be a part two titled "romanticism" eventually. idk when tho asjkl (i’m a slow writer XD)

Whenever the sun meets its peak at the high dawning point in the sky is when Rin knows it's a perfectly acceptable time to visit his oh-so-beloved mother. If he could, he would spend every waking moment with her - he’s a momma’s boy through and through - not only because she birthed him and taught him everything he knows, but because she’s kind and good. She’s also one of - scratch that - she’s the only person he can stand to be around for more than twenty four hours - and he takes great pride in having such a wonderful woman in his life.

However, despite how dearly he holds his mother to his heart, the issue with visiting her at this time of day is that she’s in her art studio. A place he loathes more than having to wear wet socks with sneakers. While it’s a beautiful space, with high wooden beams and floor to ceiling windows, he finds himself nauseous at the mere sight of the countless tubes of oil and acrylic paints. It’s not that the smell or colors are distasteful, it’s the fact that no matter how hard he squints and struggles, he cannot fathom what the simple color red looks like.

Complete black and white color blindness isn’t a life threatening condition in the slightest, but for Rin, it feels as if he’s being stabbed through the sternum at any notion of the changing leaves or colorful streaks of light across the sun-setting sky.

He doesn’t hate his mother for being an artist, he simply hates the art itself.

And he especially hates pieces of art like the one sitting before him, now. With the blobs of squares and triangles against the supposedly white canvas, sitting perky on the easel as if to mock him - he decides to reach his hand out - and remind himself how emotionally detached acrylic paints make him feel. It’s wet, he observes, rubbing his thumb and pointer finger together to mix the possibly different hues. Rin hopes he didn’t ruin the artist’s painting in any way, he wouldn’t know if he’d accidentally smeared shading or contrasting primaries - but surely the artist could fix it in a jiffy.

“Do you like it?”

Well, that certainly isn’t his mother’s voice.

“I tried using cooler tones in the corner here, and then migrated towards warmth in the lower portion.” You’re beside him now, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with his position, and completely ignoring his personal space - all while he’s never met you before this day. Your finger is extended, pointing towards the artistic decisions you’re elaborating on that, in all honesty, he doesn’t give two shits about. “I’m thinking about sketching some paper cranes on top of it all, I want it to represent the change of seasons.”

“What do you think?”

You’re staring at him now, bright eyes shining with curiosity. Rin is at a loss for words, mostly due to your unannounced appearance in the studio, but also because you’re possibly the most beautiful woman he’s ever laid his eyes on - which is shocking, considering the sight of thick paint smudged against a person’s face typically sends him running the opposite direction. He’s never felt an immediate connection to the women of his past - however you, a strange girl who resembles a dog waiting for its treat, has his heart beating at twice the rate.

“I like this shape.” Rin purses his lips into a straight line, never having felt so awkward in his whole life. “This square is nice, too.”

You look utterly unimpressed with his evaluation. Your nose is scrunched in distaste and the fold beneath your right eye seems to be twitching in disapproval for your own artwork. “That’s all that you like?” You step ever so slightly closer to him, chin tilted up to meet his gaze, before retreating quickly and coddling your painting. “Perhaps I overestimated my color palette. I really thought it would be the outstanding moment of this piece, but I guess I could rework it if the shapes are all that matter—”

“Did you touch my painting?”

Oh boy, he’s in for it now.

A nervous laugh leaves his mouth, embarrassing him further as he reaches up to scratch the back of his neck in an attempt to look casual, only for you to grab his wrist out of thin air. “Oh my god, you did!” Your mouth is agape, inspecting his tattered skin in shock - yet somehow he knows that you aren’t truly upset with him - you don't seem like that kind of person. “Did you not realize that you’ve got scarlet red all over your palms?”

Rin’s mind is blank, his ability to form coherent sentences is gone, and he can only muster up the cheesiest, most terribly dreadful joke that he’s said in the twenty three years he’s been alive.

“I guess you caught me red handed?”

There’s a moment of silence, with the two of you displaying the most aloof expressions either of you have ever made, until your face lights up with laughter. He doesn’t understand what could possibly be so funny - his joke was awful - but the sound of your contagious fits of giggles make his heart feel a little bit warmer in a place that he commonly feels suffocated in. For the first time, the studio gives him a sense of comfort rather than distress - and he knows it's because he’s developing a very clear crush on the pretty girl beside him. 

You’re hysterical, resembling that of insanity while Rin is simply stuck in time. He can’t tell if he should be steadying you before you trip over your own feet or if he should simply take his leave and forget this day ever happened. 

“I don’t mean to be rude,” he begins, watching you wipe a tear of laughter from the crinkle of your right eye, “but why are you here? Do you have an appointment, because I could’ve sworn there weren’t any other people that were allowed in the studio at this hour—”

“Oh, I do know you!” The volume of your voice just seems to get louder and louder. “You must be Miss Itoshi's son! She always mentions how lovely her little boy is, I can’t believe I’m finally meeting you! Though, I expected you to be like six or seven, not my age. She should’ve mentioned that you were handsome, not cute - she really chose every adjective other than the ones that wouldn’t make you sound like a primary schooler.”

Does she ever stop talking? Rin doesn’t think he’s ever heard another person ramble on-and-on like you do. Normally he’d have ended the conversation by now, walked away without a second thought of whether he acted rude or not, but he knows that his mother would strangle him if he was to blatantly disregard her current favorite student. The student that she loves telling him stories about at the dinner table every Sunday night as he’s just trying to eat his fingerling potatoes in peace.

The same student who he’s somehow enjoying talking to - though it’s mostly just you talking to his blank face - and is causing a soft yellow blush to form on his cheeks. He doesn’t actually know if yellow is the color related to blushing, but he thinks he’s read it somewhere before. 

“Anyways, to answer your question—”

Rin feels like he’d asked you hours ago.

“—I’d walked all the way to the train station and realized I’d forgotten my wallet here - which is strange because normally I never forget anything. I’m a very organized person—”

Yeah, he doesn’t believe that. 

“—and then I had to run all the way back here—”

Your shoes are scuffed. You definitely tripped on the way.

“—where I accidentally ran into a stroller…poor baby—”

Yep. Tripped.

“—which led me to you!”

You’re smiling now and Rin doesn’t think he’s seen so many teeth shining at him in all of his life. God, do you ever run out of energy? No matter, he knows exactly where your missing item is. The anonymous wallet had been the first thing his eyes had grazed over when striding towards your artwork - good thing it’s only an arm’s reach away.

He snatches the wallet from the art easel and is pleasantly surprised by the quality of the possibly monochromatic leather. The clasp is simple, requiring just one twist before the contents of your identity are laid out before him. “Well, it’s nice to meet you,” Rin recites the name written on your license and holds the items out to you, to which you reach out, eager to reunite with your belongings. However, at the last second he waves it in the air - away from your dying fingertips - and clicks his tongue two times. “Try not to lose it again. It’s a luxury brand, isn’t it? I like the black color.”

“Black?” Shit. The tilt of confusion your head makes indicates that your wallet is not, in fact, black. “I’m either stupid or color blind, but this is red.”

Before Rin can respond, he’s saved by the bell. Well, technically his savior isn’t an actual bell, but you get the gist. “Miss Itoshi!” Thank god she’s finally here to distract you. He’s been fighting to maintain his pride throughout your entire interaction. “I made an extra trip to the studio and ran into your son, here! You weren’t lying when you said he’s a little quiet - honestly, I feel like I’ve been talking to myself this whole time.”

You quite literally have been doing that very thing for the past ten minutes. 

“Oh, Rin! Have you been acting rude?” His mother’s expression is tense, stricter than the time he ‘accidentally’ took her (grey?) Kia Soul on a joyride that one weekend he and Sae decided to go on a midnight run to the department store. “Please don’t mind him at all, dear. You see, he doesn’t exactly get out much - his social skills might be a little underdeveloped.”

She can’t actually be saying this right now. This is exactly why he hasn’t had a girlfriend in months - his mother embarrasses him in front of every pretty girl they come across in the first two minutes of saying ‘hello’. It isn’t that Rin is a terrible flirt - which he is, but he likes to deny it - it’s that he loves his mother so much that he can’t bear to tell her that her attempts at ‘hooking him up’ are always bound to fail. 

However, you don’t appear to be phased by her words. If anything, you’re actually pleased by the sound of him being socially impaired. 

“That’s actually perfect!”

What.

The.

Fuck?

“He can be my portrait model!” You’re still talking. Please, for the love of God, stop talking. “You know how I’ve been trying to become better skilled in the emotional aspect of my paintings, he could definitely help me out by showing anxiety and embarrassment - and you’ve been telling me it’s about time that I found myself a model.”

The endless trail of words that continue to string from your mouth seem to reach their end. Rather than speaking in spitfire, you’re now crazily staring at Rin, himself. Both of your fists are clenched together in a pleading hold and he doesn’t think that you’ve blinked since the start of your conversational rampage - but despite the absurdity of your proclamation, he believes you have good intentions. There really is no reason to deny the request - after all, he’d be helping out his mother in the process, she does love having successful students - but he just can’t imagine himself spending any more time in the dreadfully grey studio than he already does. 

“I don’t think that would be a very good idea, ______.” His mother catches your words before he has a chance to give you his own oral letter of rejection. “Rin’s never been one for art.”

“Oh.”

All you have to say is ‘oh’? 

“I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you continue. The expression on your face is suddenly stern. Has he offended you in some way by saying no? “I’ll figure something else out, Miss Itoshi. I apologize if I overstepped.”

You’re bowing your head before him now, and Rin is shell shocked. His first impression of you was undoubtedly a dud, considering how you actually do seem to have a rational bone in your body despite the hyperactivity you displayed just moments before. While he’s mustering up a response, you lift your eyes - lashes fluttering like upwards brush strokes on a canvas - and send a small smile his way. It’s as if you’re silently apologizing to him for the undivided attention you tormented him with, but he doesn’t want you to apologize. 

He just doesn’t know how to say that he actually liked your personality. 

God, he’s so bad at flirting. 

“Thanks for finding my wallet, though.” Your fingers are suddenly touching his, momentarily grazing against his skin as you pluck your wallet from his hands. There’s no chance that you haven’t noticed the rising heat that’s currently warming the blossoms of his cheeks, and he hopes that you find it endearing. While he isn’t great with words, he likes to think that he may be at least a little bit cute. His mother always calls him a ‘cutie’ - which he appreciates, but it’s also so degrading for someone of his age. “Maybe I’ll be forgetful more often, now.”

He hopes you’ll start being more forgetful, too.

You’ve left your entire bag this time. 

He can’t tell if you’re trying to be subtle and coy with the budding feelings that’re growing between the two of you, and you’re just as awful at flirting as he is - or if you’ve just given up on leaving small signs of attraction. Honestly, in the past few weeks of you leaving paintbrushes and lanyards in the studio, he’d assumed it was all naturally an accident. This, though? How do you expect him to believe that you left your entire satchel in the studio? Sure, you can be a little dense, but not that dense. 

It’s obvious that you’ve begun to lose track of your belongings for the simple reason that you enjoy partaking in the awkward exchange of items when you ‘hastily’ return to the empty renovated greenhouse and get to act surprised to see him standing there with his arms full of things with your name written all over them. In fact, this instance has happened so often that Rin is beginning to believe that he actually enjoys it, too. 

Sometimes he thinks that maybe you should just write your name on him to speed up this dreadful ‘will they, won’t they’ process that you’ve been pacing together. 

He likes you. He really really likes you, and you both know it.

You’d picked up on his feelings from the second time you met - when he willingly stayed behind in the studio for an extra two hours just to hear you ramble about the difference between heavy and soft body acrylic paints. There was something about the way you grinned at him. How your chin would angle upwards to his height in order to have a proper conversation. How you weren’t afraid to say anything and everything that was on your sporadic mind. How your eyes would sparkle at the dedicated eye contact he was making - letting you know that he was hanging on to every word that left your lips (which he just recently found out are pink - and boy does he wish to know what that undoubtedly lovely color looks like against your skin). 

He hates to compare you to a painting - which he still finds a positively dreadful blob of nothingness - but to him, you are one. You’re a captivating piece of art hanging on the walls of the nationally acclaimed museum in his mind. 

A captivating piece of art whose art of subtlety is extremely lacking, considering that your phone number is quite literally painted on the largest white canvas your easel can hold, in bold lettering that he would have to be visually blind to miss, plastered behind the hiding place of your bag.

‘P.S. It's written in red paint. I know you have a thing for red.”

As much as he likes you, you can be such a pain in his ass. The bane of his existence, if you will. 

It pains him to notice how he hadn’t thought twice about typing the digits into his text bar, smiling to himself at the sight of your make-shift contact with the horrid selfie you’d taken on his phone to be your future contact picture. Your hair is an utter mess, with flecks of paint scattered across your hairline - which, to be honest, look like dandruff to him with their lack of vivid color, but he told you that they resemble snowflakes. He lied - but what you don’t know doesn’t hurt you. 

Without hesitating, he types a singular ‘hey’ before backtracking. What if you don’t know that it’s him texting you? What if you think that it’s a random stranger who just so happened to be in the art studio and thought to add your contact information to their phone? He better be more clear. 

‘Hello, ______. You know me.’

Perfect. 

In less than a split second, you respond. He can feel his nerves itching at the sight of the grey text bubble popping in and out of view. Ring can’t even remember the last time his heart beat so fast. Perhaps when he was standing in front of his secondary school health classroom and he accidentally mistook a photo of the urinary system with the ovaries during a speech about the female menstrual cycle? The stream of liquid projected against the white board was in fact not what he thought it was (how was he supposed to see the difference between red and yellow?), which turned into a horribly disgusting presentation that Sae still bothers him about to this day. That was dreadful - but this is definitely equally as dreadful, if not more.

‘Stalker much?’ Huh? ‘Hi though, Rin. That text was very…you.’

‘You added my number pretty quickly.’ Man, you text really fast. ‘You just couldn’t resist me, could you?’

He doesn’t know what to say back. It’s as if his mind has been scraped raw of all romantic material that one would usually use in this situation - the situation in which an unbelievably pretty girl is talking to him through a phone screen. Rin is completely frozen in place, time, and thought. The only part of him that isn’t paralyzed is the hole in his chest that is beginning to be thawed by you. His frozen heart of past relationships has found its fire - and oh does it burn for you. 

“Cat got your tongue?”

Where the fuck did you come from?

Swiveling on his heel, he turns to face your approaching figure. Your footsteps are lighter than air, likely being the reason as to how you managed to stealthily sneak in so quietly while he had been distracted with his phone. The light denim jeans that cover you from waist to ankles are perhaps his favorite pair you own. You’ve painted on them over time, sketching out a garden of patterns that don’t require color to appreciate. Your artistic ability is uncanny - he can’t deny the fact that you’re incredibly skilled - and he believes that you should be given an award for making ‘art’s number one hater’ a growing fan. 

“You left your bag.” No shit, Captain Obvious. “Do you want it back?”

He’s so bad at this. 

You skip towards him, your left foot following your right in a rhythm of peppiness, and lean up towards him with a shine in your eyes. God, you look so pretty. Sure, seeing you from a comfortable distance with an easel separating your bodies was nice and all, but when you pull stunts like this - with no room for him to scurry off and run - he actually takes the time to digest your features in their true beauty. You’re the artist, yet he seems to be the one who’s always studying you.

“Do you have any plans for today?” You ask in a curious tone. Your hands are held together behind your back as you send him a beaming grin with an upturned lip. “—because I was thinking about grabbing some tea, and it would be so unfortunate if I had to go all alone and sit by myself with all of those strangers around me. Who knows what could happen? If only there were someone who could protect me in case a sleazy guy asks for my number…”

Are you trying to manipulate him, right now?

“I’ve got nothing to do today.”

—because he’ll gladly let you do so. 

The peaks of your eyebrows raise in surprise, not expecting him to accept the offer so quickly. Over the short time you’ve known one another, you’ve noticed that Rin’s reluctance to spend one-on-one time with you has dwindled. He’s slowly becoming more comfortable in your presence and whatever inner turmoil that he’s facing is fading into the tide of your raging tsunami. There’s a peaceful gaze behind his brown eyes, now. One that you love to study whenever he isn’t looking your way (which isn’t often). 

“Then it’s a date!” Surging forwards, you take his arm in yours and link yourselves together. He’s initially shocked by the immediate physical connection you’ve managed to make within mere seconds, but he thinks that he likes it. It’s been so long since he’s even held hands with a girl, so he’s understandably tense, but you’re giving him time to adjust. After all, scaring him away would be your last intention. “I’ll even pay for your drink, since you were kind enough to find my lost satchel.”

“Yeah, your lost satchel was so hard to find.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He smiles to himself.

Yes, you do.

He isn’t sure how, but he’s somehow burned his tongue again. 

“Shit!” Rin hurriedly places his mug down onto the circular wooden table that separates the two of you, while attempting to be gentle since he doesn’t want to waste the perfectly tasty coffee that you paid for. He groans, dabbing the corners of his lips with one of the complimentary paper napkins. “Why does it get me every time?” 

This is perhaps the third week in a row that you and him have ditched the studio and decided to claim the neighboring cafe as your designated date spot - though you’re still an unofficially exclusive couple. Unofficial as in Rin hasn’t found the nerves to ask you to be his girlfriend, and exclusive as in neither of you are nor want to see other people. It’s a confusing situation for both parties to be in, but he just can’t seem to take that next step with you no matter how hard he tries to push himself towards the ideal solution. 

Rin is a rationalist. He takes in the information given to him through interactions and associations, working through it with logistics on his mind, and tries to find the best outcome. It’s how he’s lived every hour and every day of his adulthood, and he’s fairly set in stone with his mannerisms at this point. He always known who he is, what he wants, and how to obtain those things. What he didn’t know, though, was that an unpredictable variable (you) would crash into his life and disarray the routine that he’d been building for twenty-three years. 

The hypothesis born of the situation isn’t a difficult one to solve, after all he’s had it written down for a month: if Rin finds the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend, then you’ll likely say yes and the two of you will live happily ever after. Easy, right?

Wrong. He’s a chicken.

“Here. This might help you cool down.”

Your arm is extended, offering him your drink of the day without hesitation. Every time you come here, arm-in-arm, you order something different. ‘There’s no fun without surprise’, is what you tell him after the consistent strange glances he sends your way when you’re ordering, and he can’t help but disagree. You’re very different individuals - and that difference is extremely apparent with the light, mint garnished tea in your glass compared to the dark roast coffee in his. 

“Thanks, ______, you’re a lifesaver.” He sighs in relief as the cool liquid flows down his throat in an internal waterfall. “Holy shit, this is actually so good.”

You laugh, “I would hope so. I only got it because of the photo on the menu. It’s like a rainbow of color.”

And there it is. The thing that isolates him the most from your world. 

As much as he likes you, which is more than he can explain, he can’t help but have that itching thought at the back of his mind that you’ll never truly be able to connect with one another. You bask in the beauty of the world around you. From the apparent golden sun showers and bouquets of stark red roses - two things that you’ve described to him in great detail amidst your walks through the farmer’s market on Saturday mornings -  to the countless brush strokes against the white canvas at his mother’s studio, you adore a world in color. 

It’s a viewpoint that’s shaped who you are, from infantry to your current age of twenty-two, and it’s something that you’ll never be able to let go of. 

To be quite frank, it scares him. It keeps him up at night knowing that seeing the world through your eyes is impossible. That it’s a far off dream that is unobtainable, taunting him in his mind and heart like a bone dangling in front of a dog’s face. He wishes that he could admire the blue streaked skies and emerald green ferns that line the streets of the city. He yearns to feel overcome with pride at the sight of your watercolor drafts - which you attempt to show him after every class session to no avail - and congratulate you on the progress you’re making. There are so many things that he dreams of doing with you, dreams that exist solely in your world, as they’ll never be possible in his. 

He hasn’t officially asked you to be his yet, because how could he?

How could he bind you to him? You’d be miserable looking through his eyes - having to see only hues of black, white, and grey, similar to the pencil sketches that you’ve openly shown your hatred for in front of him. ‘There’s just nothing there,’ is what you mumble to yourself. ‘No life, no anything without color.’ To which you then drop a single ounce of paint against the seemingly dreadful piece of art - and the sparkle in your eyes as it comes to life is something that he loves to see but can’t understand… 

…as you see the world in a way that he can never understand. 

Rin doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to tell you about his condition. It would end everything all at once, and he isn’t sure how he would recover from that kind of heartbreak. You’re so blissfully unaware of how much conflict runs through his veins on a daily basis. Hell, you don’t even notice how he orders a singular black coffee every time you approach the counter together. You don’t see how he struggles to agree with you as you admire the assortment of blended beverages with a forced smile on his face. You don’t understand why he chooses to indulge in such a bitter drink and make sure to comment on it every single time.

He can’t blame you, though - it really is disgusting - but he also can’t tell you that he orders his coffee black since it’s a universal drink that appears the same to everyone who sees it. At least when he’s holding the steaming mug between his large palms, he knows that it appears to you as it does to him. That the divide that’s ripping a ravine through your connected hands is lessened in a sense - and you’re truly viewing one thing as the same. 

Which is why he sits pretty and appreciates the short time that you do spend together, and suffers through piping hot coffee three times a week with no interruptions. 

“I think I’ve made some progress on my portfolio.”

Your drink has been returned to your hands now. The small, clear glass is ringing as you tap the sides with your fingernails. It’s somewhat soothing, the rhythm following the tune of one of your favorite songs that Rin happens to know very well after walking in on you in the middle of ‘art therapy’, in which you blast the music at full volume and deafen all other sounds. You have a tendency to be impatient - art being the only thing that can really pin you down for a long period of time - yet you’ve made room in your heart for Rin despite this. 

“Really?” Rin dabs his mouth carefully, being ever the proper suitor in your presence. “My mom hasn’t given you any recent critiques?” 

“No, she has.” As your words continue, you take a long sip of your tea. He can feel his cheeks flush while you swallow. He loves anything you do. “Just little comments about negative space and color theory, but I’m getting there.”

“Nice.”

He doesn’t know how to respond to that.

“Yeah, nice.” 

Despite his seemingly rude reaction, you’re still gazing at him with a smile on your face. It isn’t an exceedingly joyful smile or one of excitement, but something of contentedness. You’ve become comfortable around him - shedded the hyperactive layers of skin that you display to onlooking strangers - and have begun to share the side of yourself that only your bedroom walls know. Seeing this side of you has made him fall even harder. Knowing that someone so confident, so bold, is just like him - caring so much about first impressions and likeability - and has their own insecurities is validating. Validating in the sense that you find him special enough to throw away the filter and be your true self in his presence. 

“You know,” you begin in a wistful tone, “you aren’t a man of many words, Rin - and if I’m being totally honest, my patience is running out.” 

He hopes this isn’t going where he thinks it is.

He’s not letting you ask him out before he can—

“What am I to you?”

Oh.

Your eyes are giving him an expectant look, now. 

What the hell is he supposed to say to that?

This is the quietest you’ve ever been, you aren’t even swirling the star-shaped ice cubes in your strawberry lemon tea. 

Why can’t he think of anything to say?

His silence is causing you to furrow your eyebrows in concern. 

This is so embarrassing. Just say something. Anything. 

“You’re my mom’s student.”

Anything but that.

“I’m…” the words at the tip of your tongue seem to dissolve like damp sugar cubes, “I’m your mom’s student.”

Your sentence is more of a statement than a question. It’s as if there’s a machine in your brain, working through his given answer and comparing all of the other possibilities he could’ve said. There were endless responses to your inquiry, and he somehow managed to pick the worst one. 

He needs to fix this. How can he fix this?

“You’re not just a student, though.” His words are tumbling over one another in somersaults and you seem to perk up at his continuity. The hope in your heart grows a little bit larger, pulsating and yearning for him to say exactly what you’d been wanting for weeks-on-weeks. “You’re my mom’s special student.” 

Oh God, he made it worse.

“What?” Rin tries to reach for your hand in an attempt to compensate for his actions through physical touch, but you retaliate and instinctively jerk away. You quickly stand, drink in hand, and back away from him as he follows like a lost puppy. Your head is shaking from right to left, disbelief exerting from the pores of your skin like poison - sentencing him with death while it seeps through his gaping mouth and empty palms. “I’m a special student?” 

How the hell are you so fast?

Within seconds the two of you are at odds outside of the building. The weather is somewhat chilly - springtime having just come around with the cherry blossoms in full bloom - and it’s probably a beautiful day with the petals raining down on the pavement. You’d usually make a comment about how wonderful the horticulture was outside of the shop, but now you’re stomping over every fallen flower and budding stem that lies in the way of your rage-filled path. He’d always thought of you as a gentle soul, but apparently even gentle souls have their breaking points - and he never dreamed that he’d be yours.

“If I’m so special, what makes me different from the girl before me and the one before her?” This is the first time you’ve ever raised your voice at him. “Did you take all of them out for drinks? Did they all get to spend one-on-one time with their mentor’s ‘handsome’ son? Did you lead all of them on, too? Rin, what kind of answer is that?”

You’ve found yourselves in an alcove now - about a block from the cafe in a small garden nestled between two buildings. The blossoming trees continue to surround you from all sides, perfectly framing the tragic picture of him saying anything and everything you absolutely do not want to hear. A large sigh leaves your lips, heaving from your chest as if he’s popped a balloon and is pushing all of the air out with the strength of his smooth hands. 

“That’s not what I meant!” He pauses as you halt in place, slowly turning to face him like you're something out of a horror movie - a monster who’s ready to murder their prey. A gulp runs down his Adam’s apple. You’re terrifying when upset. “Please, just let me explain!”

“Explain what?” Rin flinches at your volume. “If you want to explain yourself so badly then tell me why the hell would you say something like that?”

“Sure, you aren’t the best with banter or having a crush - but dear God, you cannot possibly be that dense.” This is getting bad. “I’ve left hundreds of hints! Every single goddamn day - and you’ve picked up on all of them! You know, I thought that when you’d hold my hand or kiss my cheek that you actually meant something by it. I figured ‘he spends so much time with me, he can’t possibly not like me’, but no. I’m just a student.”

Your face is fuming with every dreadful word that comes out of your mouth. “Oh, sorry. I’m a special student.”

If this were a scene in an animated film, your hair would be on fire now. Flames as high as mountain tops would be spiking in sharp peaks at every end of sentence and statement spitting from your mouth. Your normally warm irises would be drawn as ice cold, not leaving any room for life as they skate across his timid features - wishing for him to reach freezing level so you could smash him into a million pieces. 

You’d always told him that red and blue - fire and ice - were two things that you admired most. With their ever changing states of matter and forceful power amidst the seasons, he found himself believing as you do. Rin actually learned to appreciate their vast palette as if he could see it with his own eyes - but now? Now he thinks that they’re the two worst things in the universe - as their destructive nature has decided that their target is him, and he has absolutely no defenses prepared. 

“I should’ve caught on sooner, shouldn’t I have?” You’re still going, hot tears building up and threatening to stream down your cheeks. Never in his life has Rin been at the receiving end of such anger - and never in his life has he learned how to manage a situation as such. So, he does what any clueless man would do - he returns the anger. 

“You’re not even listening to me!” His hands are violently moving while his words cut like knives. “You never listen to me!”

“I never listen to you?” He’s apparently hit another nerve. “Is that some kind of sick joke? Rin, all I do is listen to you! It may not look like it, but I see the way you tense whenever I talk about my passions and dreams. I notice the way your face drains when I’m asking you for your opinion on my works in progress. Sometimes it’s like I can physically hear your eyes rolling when they see me walk into the studio with my bag of brushes and materials. Yet, you think that I don’t listen? I take note of every single thing that you do when you’re around me, because I don’t want to miss out on a single moment with you, and you don’t even care!”

He can’t believe that you’re pinning this on him.

“How could you even say that?” Rin can’t tell who’s in the right or wrong anymore - all he knows is that if he doesn’t stop speaking, you’ll walk away forever. “I’ve never cared about anyone as much as you! I’ve done my best to entertain your interests and the absurd things you ask of me—”

“Well, your best hasn’t been enough.”

You’ve got to be fucking kidding.

“Are you being serious, right now?” 

Your eyes are stoney, rock solid with stubbornness as you refuse to accept his side of the story and he knows that you won’t be budging from the beliefs that you’re choosing to hold against him. Rin doesn’t know how everything went so wrong so fast, but he does know that he doesn’t have what it takes to save the situationship that he mistakenly put the two of you in. 

“What the fuck did I do wrong that you resent me this much? Not even an hour ago all you wanted was to see me get down on one knee and profess my ‘undying’ love for you.” He’s so angry. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this angry. “Now I’m some asshole who doesn’t give a shit about your wellbeing? If everything I’ve done hasn’t been enough, then I might as well go fuck myself, right? I’m sorry I’m not perfect like you! I’m sorry I can’t see the world through crystal lenses like you! I’m sorry that I’m not good enough for you!”

His face feels wet. When did he start to cry? Was it ten minutes ago? Five? Just now? The hurricane of emotions that he’s putting himself through is more than he’s endured in years - his mental blockage of his condition finally coming to light as his heart runs off of the rails - and you’ve definitely seemed to notice considering the concern etched into your expression. 

“I was never going to be perfect for you,” he begins with a softer tone. Perhaps his hot bundle of rage has subsided for a few moments. “I can’t be with you. I can’t understand how you see the world. I couldn’t spend the rest of my life listening to you ask me all of these questions and opinions on your work when I can’t even see it fully.”

You’re so close to him. Somewhere in the flurry of words, you took a step in his direction. “Rin, what’re you talking about?”

As he bites his bottom lip with the fear of judgment raging in his mind, his secret is set free. 

“I’ve always liked this shirt on you,” he solemnly smiles, “This shade’s my favorite color that you wear.”

You look up at him, pulling at the fabric against your chest in confusion. “Red?”

“Grey.”

He’s laughing lightly, making up for the thoughtful silence that you’ve found yourself in. It’s like he can physically see the gears turning in your head as they attempt to make sense out of his statement. “It’s more of a rich grey - almost black - and it compliments your skin tone. You know, my mom used to tell me that the way to a woman’s heart is through compliments. I’ve always tried my best to do that, but it clearly hasn’t been working.”

His hands somehow find yours as he shares the inevitable truth he’d been hiding so hard - and with a deep gulp, his secret is finally exposed.

“After all, how could I ever reach someone’s heart without even knowing what color their eyes are?”

part two is ready!!!!! read romanticism here

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⊹₊｡ reblogs are greatly appreciated! ˚₊⊹

[maochira]

itoshi sibling whos literally the opposite of their brothers ✋😭 theyre kinda like nagi except theyre not active at all and the bros just keep telling them to get off that bed ffs and go on a jog w them

OMG YES

Requests open! - Itoshi sibling masterlist

Tags: gn!youngest Itoshi!reader

-Rin gets annoyed by your laziness all the time. He always tells you to clean your room and to get out of bed more often

-Sae sometimes tries to drag you out of bed. If it's afternoon and you still haven't gotten out of it, he grabs your arm and tries to make you get up. Most of the time without succes, though

-asking you to play soccer with them is a waste of time because it results in nothing, and still they try over and over

-they often tell you to find a proper hobby, to which you usually respond with "gaming is a hobby"

-"We mean a hobby that makes you move" - "Uhhh I get out of bed to turn my console on that's enough."

-they're not willing to give up, though. They're determined to find a hobby for you that makes you get out of bed or out of your room. No matter how often you tell them you're happy like this and everything else is too exhausting for you, they're not backing down

-you're not annoyed by them because you know they do it out of love, but you still have no interest in finding a new hobby. Especially if it's one that requires you to move so much

-your brothers don't want to give up because you have great reflexes and you'd be perfect for soccer or another sport. They just don't want you to "waste" that potential but you really couldn't care less

[saeist]

#OTBLORE

Itoshi brothers notice their lil sis always wearing that one jacket. They yelled at her to take that off and wash it ffs. One day Sae finds the jack laying around in the living room and thinks finally he can put it in the damn washing machine. But he takes a closer look at it and finds it too damn familiar. And he guessed right as his eye twitches when he sees Kaiser's initials.

omg sae doing the laundry when hes at home…… so true ‼️

if last time it was rin who lost his marbles this time it’s sae again because at first he thought the new gen world 11 tracksuit jacket lying around the couch was his until he caught a glimpse of the name at the back. embroidered onto the said tracksuit spelled out KAISER and not SAE. will 100% attempt to throw the tracksuit away but you caught him in the act of doing so 💀💀

when he gets back to spain or wherever the new gen 11 trains and shit you best believe sae will be up kaiser’s ass

[sweetheartsaku]

(BLLK) the world can't be wrong if you're in it

𝜗𝜚 ITOSHI RIN: SCARLET GERANIUM.

a/n: [fem!reader] fuyumi's is your daughter!!!!(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ) I HOPE YALL LUV THE DOMESTIC SCENARIOS (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)... huhu!!!!! for you, @yolkochan ( ꈍ◡ꈍ)♡!

WHEN YOUR DAUGHTER TURNS 2 MONTHS OLD. itoshi rin makes the teeny tiny effort to wake up the slightest earlier than you to take your daughter out the swaddle. but first, your husband uncharacteristically presses two soft kisses to your temple and strokes the stray hairs away from your face before padding over to fuyumi’s room. rin takes his time to let the baby scent seep into his skin, truly imprinting your daughter’s love into his soul. he gently picks her up, hearing her small baby shuffles upon unleashing her from her soft confines, he rests baby fuyumi on his chest. gently cradling her in his arms, he looks up with a glimmer in his eyes as he finds you leaning against the doorframe with a smile.

WHEN YOUR DAUGHTER TURNS 8 MONTHS OLD. the rare occasion your daughter is crying, he puts his fingertips on her little mouth and repeatedly takes his hands on and off. it works like a charm every time! sometimes you ponder what sorcery he’s using… shes kinda making that 'wawawa' kinda sound ! you know whatta’ mean? (￣^￣)ゞ once she cools down, your husband hands ‘yumi to you and she instantly falls tired under her mother’s touch. you stroke her head with a chuckle, bouncing her gently. rin peers over your shoulder and he notices the little excess tears still glued to the corner of ‘yumi’s eyes, making him duck down slightly to peck them away.

WHEN YOUR DAUGHTER TURNS ONE. rin loves to poke his tongue out at baby ‘yumi… fuyumi (and him) have the most fun playing together when he spends cozy down time at home, tucked in the corner of the couch with his knees up and his daughter nestled close in his lap. rin stares into her little tender eyes earnestly. then, your husband sticks his tongue out slightly, waiting for her to copy. once she does rin cracks a small and rare smile before instantly rubbing his nose against hers, making little ‘yumi giggle (*´∇｀*). you walk in on this priceless view that a vacation could never buy, fondly smiling when allured by their warmth to sit down next to them. you sit right up against rin, resting your head on his shoulder. he wouldn’t trade this moment for the world, and neither would you.

maybe mondays aren't that bad. you think to yourself, when you wake up next your two favourite people. the sunlight seeps through the curtains, the highlight of shine simmering on your skin. rubbing the drowsiness from your eyes, youre greeted with your baby girl sitting up with a gummy smile and a drop of drool leaking at the corner of her mouth. what makes you quietly chuckle, however, is her thin, deep emerald hair that glows jade in the sun which resembles her father appears cutely dishiveled. you stroke her hair, then moving down to caress then pinch her chubby cheek. she then taps her your husband's cheek instead, like shes trying to wake him up. rin begins to stir at the cold contact of fuyumi's hand, groaning as sleepiness washes over his body. your baby let out a squeal of delight, waving her hand almost triumphantly at the sight of her dad waking up.

he smiles, tenderness filling his eyes.

and so do you.

[sweetheartsaku]

(BLLK) some enchanted evening (bloom in flood)

𝜗𝜚 ITOSHI RIN: BLUE JACARANDA.

a/n: [fem!reader] @odysseyofsaia @neoegoistleague this fic has been in the drafts for soo long omf.I FINALLY LET IT FREE!!!! SPREAD YOUR WINGS!!

rain beat softly on the windowpanes, a gentle rhythm that melted into the quietness of the house. outside, the world was gray, and the sidewalks were beginning to puddle as the downpour blurred the scenery. it was one of those days when the call was to stay inside, letting the storm pass as one wrapped up in the comfort of home.

you sat cross-legged in the couch, a mug of tea cradled in your palms. the heat seeped into your hands as you looked at rin- who was standing by the window, his arms crossed and his profile defined by the very soft light from the rainy afternoon. his eyes were lost to some thought or another, yet his simple presence filled the space with a quiet kind of safety.

"what's on your mind, rin?" you asked, breaking the silent calm.

he looked back at you over his shoulder, softening.

"'ts nothing." he said, coming to sit beside you on the couch.

he sat close to you, shoulders toucheding; without a word. he reached for your mug, taking it from your hands to steal a sip.

"hey!" you protested half-heartedly, watching him raise the mug to his lips.

he scrunches his face, a rare expression which made your heart skip before returning it, saying, "too sweet."

"that's because it is mine," you teased, sticking out your tongue.

rin rolled his eyes but didn't argue. instead, he leaned back against the cushions, his arm draping lazily across the back of the couch. his fingers brushed the edge of your shoulder, and without thinking, you leaned into him.

"rainy days like this remind me of when we first started dating," you perked, tilting your head to rest against his arm.

"yeah?" his voice softer now.

you nodded, a smile tugging at your lips. "remember that one time we got caught in a storm on our way home? you tried so hard to keep me dry, but we both ended up soaked."

he huffed a quiet laugh, the sound warming you more than the tea ever could have. "that was your fault. you kept stopping to jump in puddles."

"you didn't stop me," you said, grinning up at him.

rin shrugged, his fingers brushing your shoulder again. he sighs. "tch-you looked... happy. okay?"

the simplicity and genuinity in his words makes your chest swell.

"guess you're stuck with me on days like this," you said softly, the sound of your voice no louder than the patter of the rain.

"i wouldn't have it any other way," rin replied almost instantly, his tone unwavering and soft.

you looked up at him, and for a moment, everything outside melted away. there wasn't any rain, any gray sky—nothing but rin, serene, though warm, his gaze like a promise.

you reached up, without thinking, to touch his face, your fingers tracing the sharp line of his jaw. he didn't pull away... instead, he leaned into your touch, his eyes softening further.

"i love you." you whispered, the words slipping out like a secret you couldn't keep.

a faint smile arced in rin's lips, a smile that you knew was reserved only for you. "i love you too."

the rain kept falling softly, serenading in silence, as the warmth of his arms wrapped around and pulled you closer. outside, the storm meant nothing to the calmness found within him, and as the two of you sat together, cocooned in this little bubble of warmth and love,

you realized that rainy days weren't so bad after all.