#rip the strawberry dragon she was but this is so much better

[gh0stbeeee]

GIVE ME A DEATH NOTE MINION AU (not the little yellow fucks)

Like the Death Note just comes with tiny little built in shadow demons that are the ones that actually go out and steal the lifespan of the person whose name was written down

They look like a mix between a cat and a dragon, and are about the size of an eight week old kitten

Light fucking adores them to bits, one always sits and purs on Light's lap while he pets them as he schemes his evil plans, or rides on his shoulder when he goes out, there's always at least one with him

They follow the same rules as Ryuk, they can't be seen by someone unless they touch the Death Note they are bound to

They absolutely love Light as well because he actually gives them jobs!!! They haven't done anything for centuries, and this human guy has taken better care of them than any shinigami

They petition the shinigami king to just serve Light for the rest of his existence, best God of death ever 11/10

They are Light's #1 fans and so cute! They steal Kira merch all the time and wear it on themselves, and when ever Light is mad or frustrated they do the cutest little cheer routine to make him happy again and it always works

Light's trying to find a way to unbind them from the Note so that they will serve him instead of the owner of the book, and that way he can basically point at a criminal he wants dead and they'll know who he's talking about without him having to write the name down

Ryuk is immediately jealous because he was supposed to be Light's cool spooky companion but nooo the annoying little imps have him captivated

When he voices this Light's basically like:

"Will you give me unconditional love and support in my quest to become God of my New World?" Light asks as he idly pets a very happy and purring demon on his lap

"Eh, no—"

"Than shut the fuck up."

It's okay tho Light gives him apples and still bugs him sometimes

OMG MISA

Aaahh she would fucking love them too

SHE DRESSES THEM UP!!! Light and Misa have little demon fashion shows!!!

And who needs Light (the worst bf ever tbh) when she has these adorable little guys!!!

Oh Light is an absolute menace with these guys

They bring chaos where ever they go, and spite whoever Light doesn't like. That one teacher Light hates because he gave him a 99 over an "unclear answer" always finds his chalk broken, his coffee spilt, and continuously loses papers he needs. They can't kill without the Death Note, so they just fuck with whoever Light tells them to (rip L)

They miss Light during the Yotsuba arc so much, they hate Higuchi with a passion and will not listen to him anymore than they have to

OR unlike a shinigami you will always be able to see them after you touch a DN, even if you give it up. So Light just sees them when he's in confinement cause they didn't want to leave him and they try to entertain him while they passive aggressively torture L for doing this to their favorite master

L is IMMEDIATELY sus when Light seems less miserable in confinement, and whenever something goes missing? Kira. He stubs his toe? Obviously Light using his evil telekinesis. He mistypes a letter? Kira is afoot people.

That continues all of confinement lol

L kinda loves them too when he can see them after he touches the DN, cause they are pretty cute. He sneaks them his strawberries so they warm up to him a little, to Light's chargin.

I randomly got this idea and I LOVE IT and I will be drawing this *adds to my mental draw list of 29297r8e2o29 billion

[glittergrubz]

askldhaj this was super fun to make! But also took a decent amount of time, and yet I love it so much! I'm very proud of how they all look! I'm also happy with the changes my art has gone through, altho I need to do way more different poses,,ack my weakness lol.

All I ask is that you guys aren't to harsh about these headcannon designs. I personally hate that almost every Sandwing is the same sandy desert color. So I wanted to expand that, your allowed to like the cannon designs! Don't worry, just don't shit on my designs for being different, I want my designs to be different! I think it's fun to reimagine characters espically the WoF families. BTW: I plan on doing more in the future. Queen Glacier's family is next bc Dravvona gave me a great idea for Glacier's design >:]

Also yes these will be used for my Rainbow Sparkle Chaos AU/Rewrite. Even have some headcannons for each of these little guys. --- These designs are FTU! Here are just a few rules for the designs. I even have seprate files for each headshot so you guys can get a better look at each of these fellas! - DO NOT claim the art or designs as your own. Credit me with either a tag on websites I have or linking my DA profile. - Do not edit my headshots or trace these designs, you will be blocked and blacklisted. - Take inspirations! I don't mind at all, just credit me! (I love seeing people use my designs or inspirations hehe) - Do not repost headshot designs either

Stash Link -> sta.sh/210nk11kfs1c?edit=1

Character Headcannons -

Blaze - The blue jewelry she owns is from her girlfriend Glacier. She made it especially for her and she wears it with pride. - While ditsy she's gain some plant knowledge from her dead brother Scald. They were very close, spending hours together painting claws, tending to plants and trying on makeup! - She sounds like Pinky Pie from Gen 4! (I love pink characters so much agh!!) - She now spends her time with Glacier (I'm sorry but I can't let her die, Blaze needs her so badly) often helping healers with plant knowledge and trying to figure out how to get plants to grow in the Ice Kingdom. - I wanted her to look like a strawberry dragon, it just felt perfect! PINK PINK PINK!!

Blister - She's quite thin compared to her more plump or round family. Built like a snake and sounds like one too. - Her amber jewerly was gifted from her father, she loves her jewelry as she despises her mother. Giving all her attention to Blaze because "she's the baby of the family" while Oasis boasts about Burn's power in battle. Her mother tried to connect with her but she liked Char. He always knew what to say when she was upset. She was devastated when Char passed away. - She sounds like Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty 1959 - Has an secret obsession with poisons, although she herself is quite afraid of being poisoned.  - I wanted to stay mostly close to the pale snake motif. Although I just couldn't help adding orange n red to make her look fiery, almost like a super venomous snake. One that wears it's toxicity on it's scales to warn others. Also wanted her diamonds to look more interesting, I always though cannon diamonds were way to cluttered.

Burn - Had a fling with Scarlet, thought she was pretty and quite interesting. But really wasn't looking for a relationship, and after the whole face venom thing well they were not getting back together. - Def sounds like Lady Dimitrescu from RE8 - Despises her brother Singe. Everytime she looked at that awful weasel he always had something to say, either behind her back or right to her face. He always teased her for not being great at speaking or writing. Teased the way she walked, her slight mouth gape at all times. Till one day she ripped his neck to shreds, sending the dragonet almost to the heavens. After that day she was placed into fighting training where she became the power house she is now.  - Once she killed her brothers she took her time with Singe, torturing him for as long as she could. She gave Scald a more, "merciful" kill but anything would seem merciful if you saw what she did to Singe. - Yes she's a dark color bc I thought it was neat, made her look alot like her papa. She has also cut most her frill/hair off bc of dangers of fighting. Less things to grab! I tried making her hair kinda like a roman helmet but kept the theme for most the family. 

Oasis - Big boss bitch who knows exactly what to do! Smart, cunning and beautiful, she does have one odd thing about her. Body mods, she loves them dearly and enjoys her horn piercing's (altho they were a bitch to put in, their horns have a lot of nerves). She's also a adrenaline junkie, so her piercing addiction, lots of treasure and devious tactics are perfect for her.  - Loves her small man Char. If you walked in a room with both of them it's a lot like Mortica and Gomez Addams. She was devastated when Char passed away, become a more unhinged dragon in the process.  - She sounds like Mortica Addams from Wednesday (I just had to, sounds perfect). - I wanted a more light, warm theme with Oasis. Almost like desert terracotta, and yes hear scales! I thought it was cute on Blaze but Oasis HAD to have them. I also had to give her dark curly hair with highlights bc omgomg I loooove that so much. 

Char - Sounds like Gomez Addams from Wednesday (hehe small man n big wife gang) - Malewife energy all the way. He constantly embellishes himself in beautiful amber jewels while taking care of the look of the palace. Talking to his servants and giving all his children as much time as he can. His wrinkles and bags are from all the duties he does. Although he would never change it for the world, especially for his love for Oasis.  - Def has an addiction to coffee, I mean how is he going to help Scald get those new plant imports in, and buy Blaze's new makeup, help Singe hunt that beautiful beast he saw in the desert- (you get it lol). - I really wanted "im very tired" vibe with him. I also wanted to go with a dark/char look to him while keeping bright reds, oranges and yellows for fire! It gives him an intimidating look, but also has alot of warmth to it. 

Smolder - Hoenstly I don't have much for Smolder, other than that he was probably the straight man of the family. Although way more chill and with horrible sleeping issues! He's an insomniac and takes traditional medicine Scald makes for him to help him fall n stay asleep.  - Sounds like Legoshi from Beastars  - I had to make this dude greasy n tired. It was just a great idea imo. Like he has to be tired dude, and he doesn't have time to bathe!! I also made him more orange than Blister altho making sure it make them look like they come from the same hatching. 

Scald - I made him into a femboy- ENOUGH SAID, lmao. Seriously though I really wanted to give Blaze a best friend, she really deserves it! So: a very femine brother who loves beauty products but also looooves plants! He's obsessed with em and his mother made him his very own greenhouse. He loves his plants and takes care of them as much as he takes care of Blaze.  - Do not underestimate this small dude, he will kick your ass. Not only is he pretty but he will fight to protect Blaze and to prove a point. Although he is no idiot and will not pick fights, more so he fights for things worth fighting. Although he has a fear of needles so no peircings for him! - Sounds like Stolits from Helluvaboss - Blaze is a strawberry dragon, SO TANGERINE DRAGON TIME! I just really think the orange works very well for him, and I honestly wanted to make a femine male character bc I havn't really done that in a bit. I espically had fun with the flower necklace as I think it makes him stand out quite well against his family.

Singe - Awful stinky man, so smelly! He's two faced, lying, manipulating and egotystical dragon. Often picking fights with Burn as its easy for her lack of brains....well untill he was torn to shreds by her. After that he became way more fearful of the dragoness. Using expensive furs from the animals he's hunted. He's also very cowardly so no fighting or even peircings for him. - Obv sounds like Karl Heisenberg from RE8 - Honestly just a peice of shit, I have really nothing else to say lmao. - I wanted to do one more pink dragon before I finish the designs. I espically wanted a burnt pink dragon idea in mind, kinda like Char but pink! I was also done making jewerly so fur accessory sounded so much fun to draw.  --- ★ Not for Other's Use ★ ★ Feel Free to Take Inspiration but Credit Me ★ ★ NOT FOR AI USE OR NFT USE! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED AND BLACKLISTED ★ ★ DO NOT REPOST/TRACE/EDIT! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED AND BLACKLISTED ★ DA: https://deviantart.com/glitterbonez TW: twitter.com/GLITTERBONEZx Tumblr: khaleern.tumblr.com/

[transmasc-wizard]

no longer canon tag game

i was not ~technically~ tagged but @akindofmagictoo said "anyone who wants to" so here i am!

you just share some stuff from your WIPs that is no longer canon. As you might know, i've had GFS as a wip for like 3 years, so i have a LOT (but will limit it so as not to clog dashes, lol).

Angel used to have 3 siblings! i yeeted 2 into the void and now she has 1

originally it was a portal fantasy! they were all canadians who came over into fantasyworldplace. Hence, i know a lot of little details about what they'd be like in "real world AU" situations (Angel loves TimBits, Oliver hates candy crush, Hope *properly* edits wikipedia for fun, etc). i got rid of that because... i wanted to

Lucy/Lily/Lana/Rose/whateverthefuck her name is (Rowan's alter ego whomst i call whatever i feel like at any given moment) was originally genuinely a good person! then i killed that

there were, overall, less dragons, which i have changed. However, there was one specific dragon. his name was teacup he was white n blue he was the size of a cup and he had social anxiety. he doesn't exist anymore. rip teacup ilysm and you live on in my dreams

nice!Theophania is gone. I havent even talked about Theophania here but she's old and possibly immortal and an absolute ass and i don't mean that in a "but we still love her" way. originally i made her sweet & kind & a Nice Old Lady! not anymore though

dimitri! the fifth GFW2 narrator! i liked him but ultimately i only invented him because i thought rowan needed a love interest. she's aro now and her arc is much better, it's about self-care and redefining love, she doesn't need an LI, so bye bye dimitri

jade! technically jade still exists but i gently placed her in another WIP (nt21) where her personality and overall vibe made more sense, so she's not a GFS character anymore.

raven! he was a talking raven and also technically a god and i realized that. well. he/his plotline contributed nothing to the overall story so i removed him entirely. he lives on only in the weird amount of bird imagery.

multiple entire plotlines! i've mentioned before that i wrote GFW1 without an outline (baaad idea) and therefore there were many axed plotlines, including: Corey's dead friends, Oliver's dead friend, Raven's stuff, the Angel's-traitor-sister, literally an entire 80k word quest

there's more but my brain is tired and this list is long so here we are

anyone can do the tag! absolutely anyone! specifically i will tag @vellichor-virgo, @polyacery, @ashen-crest and @strawberrie-faerie.

[lesyeuxdeflwr]

NOTRE AMOUR INTERDIT. [ OUR FORBIDDEN LOVE. ]

☆ warnings : cursing ( probably ) BOLD IS NARRATOR’S DIALOGUE. BOLD ITALIC IS [BLONDIE] RED LOCKS’ CHANNEL. Character names are kind of cringey since I based it on Ever After High characters.

☆ pairing : kuroo tetsurou x reader <3

☆ AU : EVER AFTER HIGH! x HAIKYUU!

★ sypnosis : You and kuroo weren’t the least ideal pairing if you were to be a teensy weensy honest to your own uneasy and scattered thoughts. Okay maybe SCARTCH THAT, you had to be MASSIVELY honest. I mean for real, the daughter of Belle and the Beast, a royal; coupled up with the son of the vicious Gaston, a rebel? Both of your parents and Headmaster Grimm thinks the both of you can seriously do much better. "If you’re a Royal. You must marry a Royal. If you’re a Rebel, you must marry a Rebel." The bullshit they would say. Apparently Kuroo and you thought the opposite.

★ author’s note : I haven’t wrote in so long 😇🙏 I myself find this absolutely cringe worthy but I tried 😬😬. I was and still absolutely in love with Ever After High so I just wanted to give it a try, like the idea just popped into my mind and wow "seems cool" 😱😔🙏😯✋🤨❌😐🙏

You and kuroo never wished to be stucked in both of your parents wretched legacies. It was something you never asked for and will never ever need. And ever since you knew you were destined to dump his ass just for a so Prince Charming and for you to be able to live happily ever after with that so called 'Prince', it was an definite no. Your story was just like any other tragic heck of of a love story. Just like Romeo and Juliet..but definitely without the dying part, you thought. And this time you were dedicated to stop the multiple dragging of the stereotypical cycle that had been stretched on for long ages and decades, it had absolutely sicken you to death. Kuroo and you were just teenagers. Both who love each other to death to even have the biggest confidence to rebel against your parents. Plus Kuroo wasn’t anything like his dad. His dad was arrogant, vicious, overly narcissistic, obsessive, and chauvinistic. While, him. He was everything you wanted. They never deciphered who he was, to them he was the exact embodiment of his old man. But to you he was just another smart closeted nerd who gave unfunny jokes, to you he was a dorky simp who’d make flower crowns whenever you had dreamy secret garden dates, to you he looked just about like a puppy when waking up with his unusually messier bed hair, to you he was your twin flame, your other half. Though definitely he was surely narcissistic from time to time but he was nothing too overbearing. It wouldn’t make sense if he was Gaston’s son and wasn’t at all manifesting and voicing out his arrogant opinions about his looks once in a while, right?

But you couldn’t really blame him either, he was just out-rightly plain handsome. You giggled lightly a hand over your mouth, that was your first thought about him. In your first meeting. It wasn’t really a fond memory of yours at first, before you started seeing each other. You two clashed bad, hardly any space to confine in between the both your petty arguments towards each other. You were as sensitive as him as he was as sarcastic as you. You’ve never even thought of about standing two feet near his as you’d say before 'Rebel ass'. But now here you were stroking his abnormally large rooster bed hair lightly while he had his head laid on your lap humming a cute song that had been both of your favorite song ever since you’ve introduced him to the diverse beauty of music. You should thank the Cupid of Ever After High, Yachi Hitoka for having you slowly grown off your slow burn wattpad kind of story and into the land of sweetness and absolute love. "Have you ever heard of the song 'Line without a hook'?" Kuroo had asked you kissing the top of your right, soft, and feminine hand as he stood up into a sitting position, laying his head on your comfortable and long neck. "No? Is that like a type of figure of speech or a slang term I missed hearing about? I swear Alisa always tells me the new slangs." Kuroo nodded through the crook of your warm neck. "It’s kind of like me telling you that I don’t think I’ll be able to live without you. You’re a big deal, a Royal, a princess, and I’m just a Rebel, a villain whose job was to ruin everything they surrounded. I’m a line without a hook, except I do have the hook. You. you were and will always be the hook to my line. But I’m beginning to wonder if you would really want to be with me. I mean you’re just so wonderful? So beautiful, so admirable—" Before he could even process on with his ramble you’ve already chapped his lips on yours, kissing him desperately like it was the end of the cruel world— a demanding but soft kiss. It wasn’t the even the first time you kissed but holy fuck, Kuroo had still heard his loud heart beating, enough to get him into a frenzy as he felt his knees grow weaker and weaker to your touch. The way you curled your fingers around his own, your own fragrance that he loved ever since, smelled like books with a hint of freshly baked cinnamon and strawberries. He wasn’t sure if nature rooted for this moment or if his mind tricked him into a perfect present, but every breath he took smelled like jasmine and for the first time since he’d known himself, he didn’t feel insecure because you who had been there for him, although he was too blinded with his own doubtful thoughts to see. Had basked him with affection and the warmth your body gave off. This time around he draped both arms around your own small frame and met your lips again halfway.

You’ve finally decided to rip the both of your lips from each other as you made eye contact with his soft hazel eyes, it reflecting so ethereally under the winsome hues of orange tangerine, mellow yellow, murky red the sunset had offered. "To start with I choose you and I will never choose anyone else, Kuroo. I will never not love you. You are so beautiful, so handsome. My love for you is so strong that neither a bank full of riches could break it down. Kuroo I love you, and I always will. Let’s go through this together, yeah? You don’t need to carry the burden for your own self, love. We’re in this, the two of us, together." Kuroo couldn’t help but spread a euphoric grin to his face as he tackled you into a tight hug under the cherry blossom tea. "I love you so much."

Lunch had came to Ever After High as you and Kuroo had pretended to despise each other through your expressions but something was different. He wasn’t as intense with his glares, it looked more nervous than it should have. Wait why is he standing up? Why is he carrying an enormous amount of pink roses in a big bouquet? Why are birds dropping petals around him, singing angelic and melodic tunes? Is he going towards your direction? You thought he wanted the both of you to be an unknown secret? Thoughts go through your thick head as you hadn’t notice Kuroo had already been in front of you. "You had made me realize that maybe, just maybe, we can be able to defy against all odds and stop the stereotypical cicrcle once and for all. So will you Beauty Y/n accept my public confession and mark this as our first day of not having to spend days and nights planning out hidden dates?" Before you could have comprehend your own body was not cooperating, your legs giving out as you find yourself already wrapped in kuroo’s sweet smell as he held you high up twirling you around, arms balancing you, and two goofy smiles plastered on your face. "Y/n? You and Kuroo a-are dating?" Alisa Haiba White, daughter of Snow White had asked so hesitantly. "B-but you’re a Royal? And he’s a..Rebel?!" She had opened both of her hands that looked like she was offering, transitioning over to you and Kuroo. "Totally awkward!" Terushima Yuuji Hood, son of Robin hood. Singing as he played a small rock tune on his guitar along with it. You ignored her and Hood as you stroll to the opposite side of their direction pulling Kuroo with you, he gave her an apologetic look shrugging his shoulders and obediently following you.

"A Royal dating a Rebel? That’s just not how the tale is told."

"The followed their true hearts! After all that’s kind of the things you do in True heart’s day? It’s in the title!"

"So fellow Fairy Tales! Red Locks here aka Tendou Satori, to give you reaction to the Royal Rebellious romance!"

"I think it’s hexcellent! Y/n and Kuroo decided to rewrite their destinies, what’s wrong with that?" Alisa can be heard and seen from the back, her cries and tantrums shown throughout the interview. — Interview answered by Sugawara Queen Koushi, son of the Evil Queen.

"I feel for them. I mean keeping secrets is hard.." Terushima can be seen trying to steal Kenma’s food failing as the red hooded boy, threatened him with his piercing gold eyes. —Interview answered by Kenma Kozume Hood, son of Red Riding Hood.

"A Royal and a Rebel? Heh. They’re from two different worlds—" Hot blazing fire shots towards Oikawa’s strong shield, a big and buff dragon towering over him. "I am trying to do an interview here!" He threw the shield on the ground as the dragon let out a whimper and sulked in fear. — Interview answered by Prince Oikawa Tooru Charming, son of Prince Charming.

"I’m worried about Y/n and Kuroo. If they don’t follow their destinies, their books could close...forever." — Interview answered by Alisa Haiba White, daughter of Snow White.

"Remember our quiz tomorrow, on Tiara sighs and future neck problems." You begrudgingly stride towards your best friend. "Alisa we need to talk." Alisa stopd up a sorrowful and worried look plastered on her face. "N/n this is hard for me. Which is a first because I usually handle everything so very well. I’m just surprised you didn’t trust me enough to tell me." Alisa’s hand shapes into a small crunched heart as she places it under her chin midway, into her second sentence. "I know. I just didn’t think you’d understand, well mostly because you’re very much strict in following our own destinies." Alisa creases both her eyebrows hand staying staying still under her chin. "I guess I don’t? It just doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t want to see anything bad happen to someone I care so much about." At this point Alisa’s arms were crosses against each other the clash of her eyebrows going even deeper.

"And so you’re telling me all these heart-shaped cakes are for your play...?" Headmaster Grimm had asked as he opened the white boxes that was offered. Cute shades of pink are shown throughout the exquisite designs of the heart-shaped cakes as it is shown in his line of sight. "Y-yeah for the play! T-they’re for the really funny scene, where Suna throws them at Yamomoto!" Yamomoto Taketora, the son of the Frog Prince. Had looked so done with his life blustering out a small, "Excuse me?!" Suna Rintarou, son of sleeping beauty. Went down the the Headmaster, as he winds up his shoulder throwing the heart-shaped cake at Yamomoto. "Very well." Both Yachi, Suna, and Yamomoto had sauntered down their shoulders a hard sigh of relief passing through their throats and out their mouths.

You walked through the rocky roads as multiple clothing, hair, shoe shops surrounded every corner of the side roads. You stopped at the shop Alisa was in your right hand touching the window as your longing gaze intenses, of course you would miss your best friend. "Hi Y/n." Duch Kōrai Hoshiumi, son of the Swan Queen had appeared in front of you suddenly as his voice held a gentle and almost desperate tone. "Duch. What do you want?" You let go of your lingering touch on the window as you walked to the opposite direction of the latter. "What do I want? My own happily every after, of course! And now that everyone knows that you’re dating a Rebel it looks like there’s one available. No hard cover books for you, boo." You look at him hurt and worried. You didn’t know whether to be worried of how he was so invested in ruining others life just because he won’t have his own happily ever after. Or be hurt by the way he told you that publicly dating Kuroo was the biggest mistake of you life. Why not just write your own destiny, like me, like Kuroo, like the both of us? "So you’re happy about Kuroo and I are dating, while my best friends aren’t happy? Maybe I did make a mistake..." Hoshiumi widens his eyes mentally slapping himself as the guilt slips in, he shakes his head. Not like he would tell anyone what he was actually feeling. "What?! No! You’re totally doing the right thing! Follow your heart...and..uh all of that.. sappy stuff.." He was too late for you were already running around the corners, laying in your shared dorm room with Suna. Am I taking back what I said to him? Am I doing the opposite of what I’ve promised to him myself? Am I going to stop ‘never not loving him'? But I can’t. I love him too much. But what about Alisa. You know what, fuck this. If she can’t accept who I love it’s not worth it to continue our friendship. We’ll keep on holding on to the person who we thought each other was rather than the present persona we have right now.

That’s what you thought.

"Sorry but I’m saving this for Y/n." Kuroo mutters placing a mirror frame with a picture of the both of you together, cuddly and kissy. The lanky teenage boy who had been rejected begins to find another seat but not without a nasty glare and an ugly leer to spare. Kuroo whistles a high pitches tune with his fingers between his lips. A squirrel and a bunny hop their way to the table wearing cute mini suits, arranging a fancy dinner plate set and an extra extravagant candle that lit up the moment it touches the table. "Hey Y/n!" Kuroo waves his thinly hand at you, clearing his dry throat. Two birds pass by you dropping your favorite kind of flowers. Tulips. And finally a hand-made flower crown is over her head, now dropping. He made the flower crown the way you like it. "Kuroo.. we need to talk." Kuroo has this sense of urgency, just from telling by the way you talked he could already comprehend it was something bad and he wasn’t ready. "Uhh..Y/n?" He never was and never will be. "I just— I thought this would be a good thing. You showing us we’re dating to the whole school. I thought it would take the pressure off but now...everything is worse." Kuroo can’t bare to look at you, if he did he would’ve broken down here and now. "W-what do you mean? I thought we were through this together? I thought I didn’t have to do this alone? Why does it feel like I’m drifting away from you again, but this time. This time it’s you whose the cause of it?" You could already feel the horror and grief you would during the aftermath of these heartbreaking events. "I-i don’t know, but what will happen to our stories, to our legacies, to our destinies. I swear I’m being such a hypocrite now but what if it is best? What if we really actually were not supposed to be for each other? I don’t want anything bad to happen to us, to you. I think— I think we should break-up."

"And so, as the Sun set in Ever After High. The students were getting fairest for the big dance."

You looked at the the side of your mirror a clear picture of you and Kuroo placed with a heart-shaped sticker. The frown on your face had become much more frowny, if that was even possible.

"Give it up for Semi Eita Piper!" Loud cheers of hilarity can be heard from the whole room as they danced to their hearts content to the cool music and beats Semi Eita Piper, the son of Peter Piper had in stored for them. "Now since True Heart’s Day hasn’t been spelebrated in such a long time I wanted to tell everyone what it’s all about. Once upon a time, there grew a very special tree. The Heart Tree. And even if the winter was harsh, and the other’s failed to bloom; the Heart Tree blossomed no matter what. And so, our Fairy Tale ancestors gave the blossoms to each other on True Heart’s Day. To show that even though it’s not always easy true love will always find a way. And so to encourage all of us to follow our true heart—" Petite and ethereal fairies fly all over the room dropping multiple numbers of hearts to the students inside each receiving colors of hot hot pink and lovely red. "Make sure to give yours to someone special to you!" Before you knew it you were already on stage with your friend, Yachi as you ask to take the mic from her and prepare for your small speech towards the only love of your life. "Excuse me— uhm can I? Kuroo? When I listened to my true heart, it tells me that you’re the only one. You’re my Prince Charming, villain or not. You’re my love, my everything, my twin flame. And I think you’re a fairy tale. I think you’re magical , and brave, and exquisite. And I hope you’ll let me be in your story once again." Kuroo was about to say something but Tendou beat him to it as his curious personality spikes him up as the son of Goldie Locks. "But how can you be a Royal and date Kuroo?" He looks at you intently as if waiting for your answer, hoping it would be a good one. "If writing our own 'Happily Ever After' means I can’t be a Royal then call me Beauty Y/n the Rebel!" You pointed your left pointing finger as the once worry wart look on your face had disappeared and was replaced with a jovial and confident smirk. "Kuroo? I want to give this to you, if you’ll have it." You grin at him awkwardly offering the small heart to him. "Of course I will, I can never resist you no matter what." He would’ve begged you either way to come back to him after the part but this was a hundred times better.

"Alisa! I-i’m so sorry I just had to do it and I love him so mu—" Alisa had approached you with a frown on her face offering her small heart just like how you offered Kuroo your own heart. "I might be worried about you, and I might think you’re doing the wrong thing, but I want you to know we’ll always be friends. That’s what’s in my True heart." You smiled widely at her, finally coming into good terms and resolved the issue once and for all. "Thank you Alisa!" You let out an insanely jovial glee at her. Dragging your bed headed boyfriend, you slow danced with him. "Do you think we could have cuddly sessions after these?" He asks hesitantly playing with the hem of your silk dress. "At our cottage in the forest Sir yes Sir." You bluntly said so serious that Kuroo can’t help but laugh because you were just absolutely too cute for your own good. He leans in your forehead, ignorant to both your height differences as he basks in his own enjoyment, happiness, and joy he is now currently feeling. He is happy, you are happy, both of you are happy.

[scoooby]

The Reason to Live (is to Die For This)

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Beta: @tenderlyannoyinglight

Word count: 6.3k

Trigger warning: descriptions of pain, death and violence.

Relationship: Merlin/Arthur *if you don't like merthur it can be taken as gen if you skip the last hundred words

Summary:

"I don't want to leave him. He thinks. I can't.

It shouldn't be the first thing he thinks of. He should be thinking of his mother, Gaius, Gwen. He should be thinking of how Kilgharrah had said he was an immortal, but Kilgharrah is also a big lying liar who lies, so he shouldn't have believed him. But he doesn't think of any of those things, after ten years of sacrificing, his brain is wired to think of Arthur, only of him."

In which Merlin is stabbed instead of Arthur. Oops.

Merlin doesn't know where the blood came from, flowing down and not stopping. There's so much of it staining the ground and his clothes, forming a puddle, he feels dizzy and nauseous looking at it. It's been almost ten years, but the sight of injury still repulses him. It scares him even more because he can't find its source. No, it terrifies him. Whose blood is it? Where is he, exactly? But he tries not to dwell on it and wonders where Arthur is. Wasn't he just here? Silly Arthur, always disappearing.

He giggles, then sobers up. He has more important things to worry about. Like the blood. Blood is so red. Like strawberries. He wishes he could make strawberries right now, Freya likes them. Speaking of which, he should probably talk to her soon.

He touches his hand to his abdomen, startled when he feels something wet and sticky. Oh.

Oh.

It's his blood. He's been maimed. He's the one dying.

I don't want to leave him. He thinks. I can't .

It shouldn't be the first thing he thinks of, and he should be thinking of his mother, Gaius, Gwen. He should be thinking of how Kilgharrah had said he was an immortal, but Kilgharrah is also a big lying liar who lies, so he shouldn't have believed him.  But he doesn't think of any of those things, after ten years of sacrificing, his brain is wired to think of Arthur, only of him.

It shouldn’t be. He should be more carefree and alive and happy, like he is now. And he’s so happy.

He distantly hears a thud behind him, as if something heavy, clad in metal, had fallen.  Swords are made of metal. So is armour. Stupid armour. It takes so fucking long to put armour on Arthur.

He feels hysteria rise up in his throat, he feels like laughing, He doesn’t know why. He’s been stabbed, he should care more. But those thoughts don’t even hit him. He wants to run, to jump. He could fly, like Kilgharrah. Or Aithusa. Can Aithusa fly? He would have to ask Morgana.

But Morgana doesn’t like him.

Maybe Balinor would know when dragons start to fly. He knows a lot, right?

Oh, but he can’t. Balinor is dead. Balinor is extremely dead and rotting. Hunith would be sad if she found out, he doesn’t want her to be sad. She deserves the world. He won’t tell her.

“Don’t worry,” he coos, even though there’s no one there. “I won’t tell.”

He tries to get up, but his knees are weak. He doesn't know why his ears have started to ring. Hhhhh. Hhh. That’s all he hears. It sounds weird. Weird. Weirdweirdweirdweirdweird. What a word, All words should be like it.

Everything is just a blob of grey and black. All he sees is a spinning world and green spots in the corner of his vision. He doesn’t mind, he likes green. He tries to say something, to scream maybe, yet all that comes out is a small, meagre groan.

He feels his eyes closing- And that's it. That's all there is-numbness, and then nothing.

Arthur is not ashamed to admit that he killed Mordred. The knight almost killed Merlin and dared to smile after doing so. Arthur couldn't just let him get away with it, no matter how much it pained him. Guilt doesn’t even come to mind. Mordred isn’t worth it - he tells himself as he walks, knees shaking, towards his manservant's body laying still on the ground.

He's bleeding at an alarming rate. His eyes are closed; his face deathly pale. Arthur doesn't bother with modesty as he rips the stupid brown jacket off (one would think he would come into battle wearing proper armor, at least). He had imagined doing it many times before, in entirely different circumstances, maybe with a bed underneath them.

Merlin torso is littered with scars as wood is with lines. Most of them are healed, so that only white lines are painting Merlin’s pale skin, while others are red, but still no cause for intervention. An enormous hole inflicted near his lungs, however does. Arthur’s not new to blood or injuries, but looking at this one does make him wanna vomit.

He stops, unsure of what to do. His hands hover over the body. What can he do, dammit? He knows first aid, Gaius taught him some when he was little. Nothing has ever come  close or as grave as to this. He has been taught to call for the help of nurses, never to do it himself. He has to stop the bleeding, but how ? He's supposed to tie something around it; he remembers that much at least. He looks towards Merlin's face, exhausted and un-moving, a red cloth loosely tied around his neck. All he has to do to stop the blood temporarily, until he delivers Merlin to safe, more medically trained hands, is to tie the stupid red neckerchief around and hope for it to be the right thing.

He prays as he puts it around the gash. He's not entirely sure who he's praying to. It’s an unconscious reflex to beg for health. To be able to say it is someone else's fault, because he knows it's his. He should never have let Merlin come in front of him; let the sword pierce him. Damn him; damn Merlin; damn Mordred; damn the War; damn Morgana; damn everything.

It sickens him, all of it. This cave, this life. The air is dirty. The metallic smell of blood engulfing everything and making it its own. Throwing up would sound like a good idea if Arthur didn’t have more pressing matter at hand.

The air also smells of disappointment. What is he even doing? He's just two years into his reign, the army is practically gone. So many knights are dying in his name, right now,  with their belief in him. And now Merlin is going to die too.

No. Merlin can't die, I won't allow it. His resolve hardens as he picks him up in his arms, Merlin’s head on his shoulder, back bent so gravity can keep the blood inside. and carries him through the mass of dead bodies. Arthur places him on the horse and climbs on behind him, arms on the reins and still supporting Merlin’s head.

It's a long ride home. You have to make it. For him. Is the only thought he clings to.

The aftermath of the war lingers everywhere. Bodies within quarter of a mile of another, their sunken eyes staring at them as the ride past.

No one stops them, too busy focusing on their own injured. Arthur's head is down to not see them. They probably hate him. With all of his being, he agrees.

Morgana, from an early age, showed to be better fitted for the crown. Might have even made Camelot a better place, once upon a time, in a time long gone.

Now they're both just as terrible and ill-fitted for his home.

He tries not to think of her, it’s too painful. So, he focuses on saving Merlin again. Merlin. His best friend, who he had always hoped would become something more. His rock, the only one he could trust. Something he has proved over and over again, but something he had realised only during his father's funeral.

Uther’s death is a recent memory. Arthur had cried until there were no tears left to shed over anyone else after. Not out of love or grievance. His father’s love for him was long gone before he himself was. But because the moment Uther’s life ended, Arthur’s reign began and the feeling of no support or companionship with it. Morgana was gone. Ygraine had never been there to begin with, and the overwhelming responsibility hit him- hard . He had felt so alone. There was no one there for him. No one cared.

Then Merlin had placed a hand on his shoulder, whispered to him, told him he was going to be a great king and that he was sorry. As if Merlin was at fault. As if he wasn't the only reason Arthur was still standing.

It made him see more clearly that he might not ruin the kingdom- his kingdom. A spark of heat, mixed with joy and sorrow ignited like wildfire spread all over his chest, then back, arms and legs followed soon, and finally his face; he returned Merlin’s sentiment with a warm smile.

Maybe that's when he had fallen in love, or when he had realized that Merlin was the only one he could trust. He's still not sure which one it was, maybe the love had come slowly, or maybe, and just the seed had been planted back then, or maybe it had come fact and crashing.

And now he was going to be gone too. Arthur sighs, his eyes drooping from a week of no sleep. Everyone leaves. They always leave. Maybe he still had some tears left.

The dark is disorienting. Is he sleeping? Is he even alive? He has to be, he has to make sure Arthur gets back home.

"Emrys," he hears someone say. No, not someone- Morgana. Her voice is unmistakable, ragged and sickly sweet at the same time. She had always been like that, even before, a dizzying array of opposites.

"Witch," he whispers. "Why have you brought me here?"

The smugness in her voice is apparent, "That's very hypocritical of you, isn't it? After all, you're magical too. More than me, even." She didn't answer his question. "All alone now, aren’t you? No one to save you." He shakes his head; how did he manage to get here? The last thing he was doing was shouting at Arthur to bring him along ("I always thought you were the bravest man I knew." “That’s not fair.") Arthur's face had been so disappointed, and it had broken Merlin's heart. But if the war was still going on, then no one would be coming for him. He will have to get out of this by himself.

"What. Do. You. Want." He grits out, he doesn't have the patience, nor the time for this, he has to help them. The knights are strong, but even the strongest of human kind wouln’t last long against an immortal army. He has to be there with them, to help them, to keep them alive. No matter how much his words hurt, Merlin will still save them, because that is what he does.

She laughs. " You."

"I don't have time for games, leave me be."- turning his head around trying to locate Morgana’s voice; the darkness, the nothingness, hasn’t changed.

"Oh, but why would I do that?" Her cold hands are taking hold of his chin, nails digging into his face. She's right in front of him. Her silky dress pooling onto his feet, the edges of her dirty hair grazing his arms. "I have you right where I want you, no one is going to come to save you. I only need one thing from you." She pauses, her fingers snap; there are fires surrounding them in a circle. He struggles against the bonds of rope he didn't realize were tied onto him, but it's of no use.

She’s clearer now, seen better days too. Bags under her crazed eyes, a ragged and torn black gown, a cloak is gracing her hunched back. Frankly, it looks like she hasn’t taken a bath in months. She doesn’t even resemble the Morgana he used to know, the compassionate and cunning one.

This is his creation; he is the reason she is like this. He never should have listened to the fucking dragon, he should have told her about his magic, maybe things would be different then.

"I won't do anything for you,” he hisses. “I would rather die.”

“Oh, you will.” She says it like it’s a fact as if it’s inevitable that he will die soon, and a tremor goes from his head to his toes in a matter of a second. He’s supposed to be immortal, supposed to live for a long, long time. He’s not scared of dying, he supposes. He’s scared of what will happen afterwards. “And it will hurt, I can tell you that, it will hurt so much.” She inches even closer, impossibly so. “But that won’t be the worst part, no. The worst part will be that no one will care . Arthur won’t care. No matter what you have done for him, he won’t even notice you’re gone.”

He’s silent as her words sink in. Sow themselves into his brain, into his heart, tries to convince himself it’s not true.

“Arthur won’t rescue you. You need his help, but he doesn’t have your back. He’s not even looking for you. If you’re drowning, if you’re about to crack, will he even care?” Something on his face makes her look smug like she’s already won. “Face it, Merlin.” That’s the first time she’s called him Merlin and not Emrys since she found out. “You don’t matter to him. He thinks you’re disposable, But I know better.”

Merlin looks up at her. "You're sick," he spits, although it sounds small, unsure. "He would look for me. I know he would." The statement is more for himself than her.

She gives a small, cruel smile as if to convey to him how pathetic he is. “All I need you to do,” she continues, “is to tell me where you are once this ends.”

He's about to ask her what she means, when the fires go out and it all turns dark again.

He stops in the forest, to rest, though he's not sure if Merlin will even survive by the end of it. He lays him down against a rock and lights a fire. He has to make something to feed them, or they'll die of starvation before Morgana's knights get to them. He surveys the clearing they're in, and he's about to walk towards what he is almost sure is an edible plant (emphasis on the almost, kings don't always learn about herbs), when he hears Merlin whispers. He snaps back, his eyes are open, a once tantalizing clear blue now murky and grey.

"Arthur" he murmurs. "Art- I-"

He holds up a hand "I'm here Merlin," he says. "I'm here but don't speak, you need to preserve your energy."

He doesn't listen. "I-I need to tell you something and," he gasps, trying to breathe, "and I need you to listen without interrupting."

Arthur wants to tell him whatever he needs to say probably isn't as important as his life, but the look on his face tells him that it might be.

Merlin shudders, clearly exhausted. "I ha-have magic," he rasps. Arthur's mind goes blank. It's a joke, it has to be. Merlin can't have betrayed him too. He takes a step toward him, to reach out maybe, but thinks better of it.

"Stop being silly," he commands, but it comes out shaky.

Merlin eyes seem wet. When he opens his mouth to speak, all that comes out is a bare whisper, "I ne-needed to tell you. In, in case, I-I, uh, die."

"You can't die." He clasps Merlin shoulder this time, leaning down. "But stop delusioning yourself Merlin. You don't have magic, I would know." It's not real, he would've been able to tell. This can't be true, it can't.

"And I use it for you," he continues, seeing his expression. "Only-only for you."

"Shut up," Arthur whispers. Merlin flinches back. "Shut up, shut up, shut up."

"I-," he starts, but he cuts him off.

"Do not speak to me."

Arthur looks at him, something rising in his throat. He thought it would be bile, but it's laughter. Of course, of course, the only person he trusts has magic.

He stands up and walks away, until he's sure Merlin won't be able to see him.

Merlin’s heart sinks as he stares at Arthur’s back, she was right. He told him about his magic, and now he was leaving him to die in a forest, never mind the reason he was dying was that he had taken a sword for Arthur. Never mind that he had spent a decade protecting him, trying to stop hundreds of people from killing someone he himself hadn’t particularly cared for at the beginning. Never mind the fact that he had sacrificed so much, just so he could be comfortable living in a castle built on the sins of his father and the corpses of magic users. Ten years, all down the drain. Merlin wants to laugh, of course, it comes done to this. To Arthur abandoning him because he told him something he didn’t want to hear. Fuck him, fuck the pendragons. Couldn’t let him die in peace.

He stews in it for a while, too tired to cry. Too sick of everything to even care anymore. He won’t tell her though; couldn’t let it all go to waste. She’ll find out anyway, he knows, she has her sources.

Yet, he has more important things to focus on, Arthur will either come back, or he won’t. But his wound stays. The giddiness is gone, replaced with something else. Something warm, like a fire in his stomach.

He presses down on his abdomen.  as he sighs sharply through his nose, it helps with the increasing pain, stabbing his bone and overtaking his senses.

His lungs struggle to breathe, it feels as if they’re filling with water as he drowns; his whole body burns as his back arches and writhes. It’s like there’s thousands of needles being pushed into him from everywhere, as if the needles had been pulled out from a fire before being inserted into him- red hot and painful, so painful. He wants to stand up, to run and jump into a lake, but his legs feel like jelly, he can’t move. It hurts so much. He hears distant echoes of screams; they’re probably coming from him.  And just like that, it starts to ebb. The needles being pulled out hurts more, but the small burns they leave behind are definitely better than it was before. He slumps down against a tree, numb.

He feels his eyes droop. His pain is still shooting through his body, but at least he has some time before he has to feel it again.

He wakes up again in some time, not sure when. It doesn't hurt as much as it did before. He’s just tired. He lays there for what feels like hours, but the sun hasn’t even set, so it was probably a few minutes.

To his immense surprise, he comes back. Arthur… comes back.

"Come back to finish the job, huh?" Merlin snarls, refusing to believe that maybe he came back to help him because he cared for him. It's too good to be true. Arthur is compassionate and he is kind, but not to magic users. "One stab wound wasn't enough for you?"

Arthur's already been saved from the imminent death of his which has been prophesied for a few centuries already, Merlin no longer has to worry, and he doesn't want to either. If this is his reward, to be called a coward, to be ignored and hut out, what everything had been leading up to, he might as well have died years ago. He used to wake up with only Arthur in mind, He loved him, still does. He’s not going to go out any other way.

He was the reason he lived, and he is the reason Merlin is going to die.

Arthur recoils in shock, his mouth is hanging open a little.

Good , Merlin thinks, he needs a wake-up call.

"What?" He asks.

Merlin hopes his expression can convey his feelings and how unamused he is because his throat is clogged up and he's too exhausted to say a word more. He may be a warlock, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is in unbearable pain.

Arthur looks at him as if he's grown a second head. "You- you thought I was going to kill you?"

There's no reply. Arthur comes forward, stops when he sees how scared the other man becomes. He sits down onto the cold, hard ground. "Merlin," he says softly, "I, I'm angry at you, I'm not going to lie, but I would never, never kill you. I- how could you even-" he trails off, he kicks some dirt glumly. "Just, we’ll talk about this when we're back home, okay? When you're better."

Arthur doesn't know how Merlin could think that. He would never- he didn’t even imagine doing anything other than demoting him, at most. He feels betrayed, and he feels let down. But this is Merlin. If he practiced magic, there must have been a good reason.

Fuck. Has he been that bad of a friend? Has he been so distant that Merlin thought Arthur was going to kill him? He knows he should be angrier, and just a few hours ago, he was. He was ready to yell and to scream and to rage, but then he thought of Morgana. About how he used to love her, and how she changed when he turned her away, He doesn’t want the same to happen to Merlin, doesn’t want him to change too. If Merlin dies because Arthur abandons him, he will never forgive himself.

So, as he snuffs out the fire and tries to cover up his tracks, because he knows Morgana will be looking for them, he doesn’t say anything. When he picks Merlin up and places him on the horse, he tries to be as gentle as he can. When he squeezes Merlin's hand in what he hopes is comforting, he just hopes Merlin doesn’t hate him completely.  

Merlin floats in and out of consciousness for what he thinks is a day, but he can’t be sure. When he first wakes up, he’s trotting along on a horse, Arthur behind him, and then he’s in front of a fire, sitting on the ground, then the horse again. Once, he wakes up to strangled screams, but he’s not sure what was going on. He’s too scared to ask. The fifth time he wakes up, however, it’s different. It’s not a coincidence, it’s on purpose, Arthur is shaking him awake. He makes out that they are next to the lake, where he has sent away so many corpses already.

It's calm and serene, obvious to all that is happening around it.

“Wha-” he starts to say blearily, he knows they haven’t reached Camelot yet, so what is going on?

Arthur silences him by placing a hand on his mouth. “We’ve got company,” he whispers. Merlin stiffens up, never a good thing. Not when you’re trekking through the woods, your companion and you both in bad conditions, both starving, one run through with a sword. Not when your companion is the ruler of kingdom which has war being waged against it.

“Arthur,” he says, his voice still sounding heavy and drowsy.

“What?” His mouth feels swollen, and he is incredibly tired, but he can tell he’s agitated, so he doesn't beat around. “Use the sword."

He looks surprised, the expression he hates. The one he uses whenever he realises that he underestimates everyone around him. "I think I know how to use a sword better than you do, Mer lin."

Prat.

"I mean, don't use your old sword, use Excalibur. It can kill anything. " Saying even this much feels like he just ran from Ealdor to Camelot without break, but he manages.

He opens his mouth to reply, but then his eyes widen. "Did you hear that?" His voice is low but urgent. Merlin blinks, he didn't hear anything other than the wind and- oh, he hears it now. There's distant screaming, coming from a woman from what it sounds like. It's barely noticeable, but the sounds of footsteps and something heavy being dragged on the forest floor towards them is much, much louder.

They exchange glances, only for a second. Merlin gestures towards the sword and Arthur nods, not questioning him for once.

Merlin tries to speak, he wants to help, but his throat is becoming clogged, and his vision is becoming blurry and- I am not going to survive. He thinks, before his eyes roll back into his head, and he passes out once more.

Arthur does not dare to say anything, or to do anything, other than stay frozen in his spot, sword in hand.

The noises are coming closer and closer. The screams have subsided now, but the steps have not. He knows he should highball out of there, but he has a feeling that whatever is coming their way cannot be outrun, and 50% of his lessons in swordplay focuses only on telling him to follow his gut.  

"Emrys," says a voice. He inhales sharply, he recognizes that voice; knows it better than he has any right too.

"Morgana," he breathes.

She pouts, looking disappointed. "Seems like our Emrys isn't awake. Shame, I wanted him to see you die." She says it casually, as if she tells her once-brother that she’s going to kill him every day.

He reminds himself - this is not his sister, not the woman he grew up with. If he doesn’t kill her, she will kill him. And she will take his kingdom.

But he never meant for them to get caught up in this, he had to control himself. He can’t rush to hug her or stab her. He can see a flicker of what she used to be, the brave, young woman. He needs her to hold onto that. If she doesn’t, he will have to do it. And he really, really doesn’t want to.

But as she lunges at him, the flicker ebbs out. She has slipped through his hands, and she has changed. She has been carried away by the waves of sorcery, and it has ruined her. He remembers her being his hero when they were young, when they used to sneak out of the castle to look at the stars. Her arguing with Uther over whether it was right to commit genocide, the irony of which has stuck with him. Her teaching him to use the sword, having already mastered it herself. Her forcing him to make friends with Gwen, who grew to become his ex-lover and best friend and surrogate queen. The memories keep on coming, and they don't stop. But she, like everyone else, changed. No matter what time, she is different now. It will never come back. He wants to go back, when they were innocent and naive, when everything was left for them to discover.

But he can’t.

So he fights back instead.

It's all he can do to make his hands steady as his blade sinks into her stomach, as he buries it deeper and deeper until it comes out on the other side. She looks surprised, then grim. She'll be alive for a few days, at most, a few minutes, at best.

But he can't bear to leave her suffering, alive but dying, tortured. So, he stabs her again, this time aiming for the heart, and again. And again. And again. When he is sure that she's dead, he stops, sliding onto his knees. He glares at the sword in contempt. He killed her; he killed his sister.

No .

He killed the woman who wanted to burn his kingdom to the ground. He had no other choice.

But what sort of person is he? He's killed both his knight and his former sister on the same day, with the same sword.

He grips it harder, then looks at the lake. He needs to get rid of it, that's what he needs to do. No one can find out what happened today, he can't let them. He raises it and throws it in. He had thought it would land on the banks, considering how heavy it is, but it doesn't. Instead, the sword flies out of his grip, and cuts through the air, towards the lake. He swears he can see a hand reaching out of the water to catch it, but it's probably a trick of the light.

He turns to her body laid on the ground, eyes open and unblinking, mouth looking as if gasping for breath, cloak sprawled around her like wings. She's dead.

Somehow, he knows if he had used the other sword, she would not be; he knows enough about magic to realise that the high priestess cannot be taken down by a normal weapon.

But Excalibur was not normal, was it? Just another thing to add to his list of questions.

It takes him thirty more minutes to dispose of her body in the lake, staring as it sinks deeper into the water. He doesn't look away, no. He deserves this. He has to remember, and he will.

He doesn't move for a long, long time. Only goes so when he realizes that, although she is dead, Merlin is not yet. Arthur intends to keep it that way. He turns his back on her. Every step drains him, but he does it.

He can't be left alone again.  

It takes them two more days to arrive in Camelot. All of it passes in awkward silence, with Merlin getting paler and paler with every passing second. Arthur doesn’t say anything out loud, but his mind is racing. He doesn’t think of them. He can’t. So he focuses on magic instead. He’s not sure if he trusts magic fully, even now, but maybe he should be more open-minded. Maybe he should give it a chance. Maybe it'll be different than it was with Morga- her.

When he arrives, it is completely different to what he had expected. There are mourners, of course. People in white, downcast expressions, closed windows, doors painted black. But there are also red banners hanging everywhere, citizens cheering as he rides past, ignoring Merlin behind him. Cries of "she is dead" and "the war is over". People are grieving, and there are those celebrating. He doesn't ask how they know of her death, he doesn't want to know. They tell him anyway. Apparently, the army stopped attacking, all of a sudden. They had cried, and shouted, and had turned back. It is unclear why, but Arthur knows he is the reason. Morgana dying at his hands is the reason.

Some help him get to Gaius', seeing how unamused he looks. They clear out the road, offer them water. Arthur is grateful for them, glad that at least some of his people acknowledged the dying man and had tried to help.

The physician is busy when he throws the door open, Merlin in tow. There are many, many people here. All with varying degrees of injuries. Arthur can’t bear to look at them. It’s his fault. It’s all his fault. So he ignores them, marches up to him.

“He’s- he’s been stabbed,” he chokes out.

Gaius’ eyes widen, and he rushes to follow Arthur. He lays Merlin out on one of the few empty beds, his body sprawls out on it. It’s sickening to look at as if he’s dead already.

He sets to work immediately, ordering Arthur to fetch herbs and vials and all sorts of things he doesn’t know the uses of. The people around them stare at him blankly, as if they know he’s the king, but they don’t fully recognise him.

He knows when he is not needed anymore, and backs away to watch. It's odd, and it feels so wrong. It's wrong to watch as Merlin is cut open and healed. Like he's invading his privacy. Merlin deserves better than to be put on a show in front of so many people.

He does try to help. Tries to tell as many people as he can to move to the castle, where he is sure more doctors would be willing to help, but some are in too bad of a condition to be moved as they are tended to by nurses. So he elects to focus on his friend instead.

Gaius' hands have always been steady, for as long had Arthur had known him. He cuts open bodies without worry, without even flinching. Which is not the case today, he notices. No, his hands are shaking. Not much as to be obvious, but he's known the man for far too long to not be able to tell when he's scared.

He thinks Merlin is going to die .

Arthur recoils violently. He doesn't know where the thought came from, because it's not true. It can’t be.

Merlin is going to survive. He tells himself.

Merlin. Is. Going. To. Survive.

Merlinisgoingtosurvive

MerlinisgoingtosurviveMerlinisgoingtosurvuveMerlinisgoingtosurvive

He repeats under his breath, rocking himself back and forth on his heels until he almost believes it. He has to.

He's not sure where the time has passed, because Gaius is in front of him all of a sudden but Arthur remembers him standing over the table just seconds ago.

Gaius shakes his head and it takes a few minutes for it to register in his mind. Arthur can't be looking at him, and his heartbreaking face. Just like him, Gaius' only support was Merlin. Was. Not is, was. Merlin is barely dead, and Arthur is already starting to think of him as a memory.

The physician knows what it feels like, but Arthur doesn't care.

"You should've done better," he hisses. He doesn't regret it. Doesn’t regret causing the shock he’s caused Gaius. But it's his fault too. He's the one Merlin took a sword for. But he needs to blame someone else. Because he doesn't want to think of the implications of Merlin dying at his hands. Gaius looks at him as if he is about to break, so Arthur walks away. From him, towards the corpse. He can't bear to face another person he's hurt.

It can't be true. There's got to be something he can do, something. He can't die, he can’t fucking die. Not when there's not much left to say. Not when they've just won. It's supposed to be a thing to celebrate, a war ending, he can't mourn. He can't give a speech to his kingdom which wasn't written by his best friend. Can't lose him. He doesn't think he'll be able to live without him.

He doesn't want to. He won't.

Merlin looks too much at peace, content in a way Arthur hasn't seen him in a long time. His long lashes casting shadows onto his freckled skin, his lips are twisted into a scowl, but he is at peace. He still looks the same, though. Beautiful and striking. Arthur's rock.

And dead.

Arthur’s hands move at their own accord, to stroke the side of his face. A sob escapes him before he can stop it, pushing through his throat. His people need assurance, and him crying like a bloody fool won't help. But that's the last thing on his mind. All he knows is Merlin is dead.

He isn’t able to stop staring, can't help wondering what he will do now. Whether the body will be burned or buried. He will be given a hero's funeral, it's no less than he deserves. He will be clothed in Camelot’s colours, or maybe his Ealdor's. Hunith would know better.

Oh lord, Hunith. She will have to find out through a letter. No. Arthur will have to go to tell her. He can't let her go through it alone.

He's about to turn away, to tell someone to help him move the body when his lips move.

Merlin's mouth opens, just a little bit, but enough to tell that he's alive.

Arthur feels a shock go through him. It was just an illusion.

Right?

"Merlin?" he asks. It can't be true, no matter how much he wants it to be. It was probably a trick of the light, but that can't be right. Because Merlin's eyes are opening and he's staring at him and some colour is returning to his cheeks and oh-

This the man he loves. And he waking up.

"Ar- Arth," he begins but Arthur shushes him. He’s alive, he’s speaking. He doesn’t know how, but it’s real. It’s actually real.

"I'm here," he assures him "I'm here." He shocks even himself as he leans down to kiss him. He's even more surprised when Merlin kisses him back. It only lasts a second before he pulls back, but he just kissed Merlin. It was rough, it wasn't perfect. But he's breathing. They're both here. He can't ask for more.

"Wha- what was," he exhales through his nose, as if speaking taxes him, "that for?"

"I wanted to," he says, shrugging, still not over the euphoria. He just lost him, he’s never going to again. The least he can do is not hide from the truth. "And, I, I also kind of love you. Like, I’m in love with you."

His eyes widen a fraction, but Arthur can tell he’s too tired to question it further.

He wants to say more, he has so many questions as to how he's still breathing, when he started practicing magic, why, but he doesn’t. He has time, they have all the time in the world.

He turns his back, yelling for Gaius. The physician shows up immediately, face lighting up when he takes in the sight of his son very much not-dead.

"We'll figure it out," he says, though he's not sure he heard him over the noise. "We'll figure it out." He grins. Yeah, they'll figure it out.

He swears, Merlin is beaming right back at him.

[punkgrogg]

Bakugou has a big heart pt.3

Pairing: Bakugou/Ojiro, Bakugou/Jirou, Bakugou/Eijrou

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none :)

Summary: Bakugou is in his second year and he’s not very good at dealing with his emotions

Length:1,454

Notes: Bakugou does in fact NOT know what friendship is so take that as some foreshadowing if you will. Also, this was supposed to be Kiri-centric but Kouda said it's my mfing bonding time with Bakugou. sidenote-Grammarly won't let me write Kouda so it's Koda throughout the chapter, my apologies.

Saturday seemed as boring as any other day if you were to ask Bakugou himself. The class was dispersed across the common area and a few cooped up in their rooms. Typically, during the weekends, they would all wordlessly break off into groups but today they were all intermingling to relax after the big exam that Present Mic had given so they wouldn’t have it next month with the rest of the school’s midterms. Bakugou was calmly slicing up the various fruits Denki and Sero piled up in front of his chopping board. Mina stood to his right, dutifully scooping up the cubes once he reached for another fruit and tossing them into the large mixing bowl. They were making an extravagant fruit salad in his opinion but it was the snack Mina was whining for and who was he to deny his friend?

The salad consisted of strawberries, peaches, apples, green grapes, and watermelon so far. He was finishing up on a couple of mangoes when he heard the sacrilegious suggestion of marshmallows behind him. He froze and glared over his shoulder to Kirishima the offender. Quietly, Kirishima hid the pink and orange-filled bag behind his back before stepping away from the counter.

“What do you got against marshmallows?” Sero snickered as he added a couple of bananas to the pile of pomegranates and dragon fruit.

“They are fucking disgusting tape face. Why would we put that sugar monstrosity if we’re already eating sweet shit.” he all but snarled, chopping a bit harder than was necessary.

“I think it’d taste good, Kiri I’ll eat them with you.” Denki clapped the redhead on the shoulder before taking the bag out of his hands and popping a couple in his mouth.

“Thanks, Bro, my mom puts them and a little cream in hers. It tastes great!” Kiri’s smile was blinding as he threw an arm around the smaller blonde. Bakugou huffed before holding his hand out for the offensive bag of marshmallows. Grinning like he won something, Denki handed over the bag wordlessly as he passed to Bakugou. The platinum blonde glared down at the bag before shoving it at Mina.

Mina giggled as she poured the bag, “Aw, Bakugou how sweet of you.”

The glare he gave her make the Bakusquad burst out in laughter. He pointedly ignored them as he focused on skinning the dragon fruit. After all five dragon fruit were skinned he chopped them in a flurry of white, purple, and silver. And while he was ripping apart the pomegranates he finally tuned into the conversation flowing around him, they were deliberating on their answers on the last prompt on the exam. For the life of him, he honestly wouldn’t be able to remember what he wrote.

All of this week he’d been stuck in his head, Ojiro plagued his thoughts for the first half of the week. Then Wednesday’s epiphany that he was just not used to caring so much for his friends -he was sucked even deeper - but he worked hard to bring back normal. Well, as normal as he could manage with his new mindset. After dinner on Wednesday, he had holed himself up in his room and researched how to be a good friend. Insults were not the best option when referring to his friends, he could remember the hurt faces his classmates had last year when he met them, so he’s been trying to at least take the sting out of his nicknames. Shitty hair turned to red and Dunce face to sparky. Those names weren’t inherently bad-right?

He also read that he should listen more to their opinions and spend more quality time with them. And gods was he trying, Denki liked to dance along the thin line that was his patience, he has managed to blow up only once while they were cramming two nights ago. He would call this all a success and he saw firsthand how they opened up even more to him. Kaminari and Mina were more clingy than usual and Sero made even more snarky jokes than he used to. Not only his closest friends noticed his change though. Iida hasn’t had to get on him as much and instead of chastising him yesterday he’d walked back to the dorms with him after class and asked him to join his study group with Momo and Todoroki. Jirou, Hagakure, and Asui even pulled him over this morning to eat breakfast with them.

The hardest part was trying to keep his composure; when Sero would laugh he wanted to smile but the joke wasn’t even that funny. Mina was probably one of the prettiest girls he had ever seen and he could barely keep the blush off his face when she teased him. Friendship was hard he concluded.

After slicing up the bananas while he was deep in thought, he went to clean up but Sero pushed him away from the sink insisting on cleaning up since he hadn’t help thus far. Kaminari was pouring cream into the giant mixing bowl as Mina vigorously stirred.

He couldn't help but cross his arms with a sigh. “They’re going to smash the bananas and dragon fruit if they aren’t careful,” he couldn’t help but grumble.

“You know man, I think you’ve been real manly this year,” Kirishima said with a dopey smile as he leaned on the counter.

“What are you talking about red? I’ve always been manly.” He replied with a puffed-out chest.

“Yeah, but it’s because that you’re finally getting closer to us all. That ups your manliness.” Kiri nodded sagely as if he was relaying one of the eight noble truths. Bakugou could feel the heat making its way to his cheeks and by gods, he was not about to let Kirishima see it. He scoffed and quickly turned to the cabinet that held probably a hundred bowls, throwing it open, he grabbed a stack in each hand before stalking over to the dining area. Placing the bowls down gently was a struggle as he fought with the blush overtaking his face. He pulled out a chair before falling heavily into it while he managed a few calming breaths. The rest of his squad followed shortly, each one with their hands full. Sero and Denki carried drinks for the group, Kiri had forks, and Mina precariously held the giant bowl of fruit.

“FOOD IS READY,” Bakugou yelled towards the crowded common area before handing out bowls to the group that was already seated. Mina scooped out some for each member of her squad before relinquishing the bowl to the disjointed line of their classmates.

The table in the dining room was long enough for the entirety of the class to sit together but a few preferred to sit at the bar in the kitchen or even the couches. Bakugou was seated near the head of the table, Mina taking the head seat and Sero sitting to Bakugou’s right. Kiri and Denki sat across from him and Sero. Today it seemed the rest of the class wanted to sit with them too, only Todoroki and Satou missing from the table. Both never came down from their rooms, Bakugou thought idly. Kouda timidly took the seat next to Bakugou and that made Bakugou smile internally. He wasn’t loud and respected Bakugou’s boundaries better than the asses across the table.

Said asses were yelling down the table to the rest of the class so Bakugou focused on eating his fruit salad. He pushed all the sticky marshmallows to the side and glanced up to see Koda barely picking at his bowl. He held a smile while signing to Shoji across the table, JSL was something Bakugou didn’t know. He had never really thought about it, when he and Koda had been paired in the past two years, Koda would speak to him but it was through barely audible whispers. Bakugou could see the way he animatedly signed - something he had never seen before on the boy and it made his stomach knot.

He was a hero and he couldn’t even communicate with his classmate in a way that he preferred. He was an ass who made Koda accommodate him when he should’ve already know sign language. How could he expect to save someone who could only rely on JSL?

“Bakugou?” The whispering of his name broke Bakugou out of his self-torment and he realized that he had been staring.

“Oh, Sorry. I want to learn sign language, would you be willing to help me?” Koda couldn’t help but show the shock on his face which made the knot in Bakugou’s stomach tighter. And the tentative nod made the blonde smile.

“Thanks, man.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Surveys #431-432

two biggins’ in one, beware the long post.

Do you own any Funko Pop! figurines? No. How many cats and dogs have you had as pets in your lifetime? I couldn't possibly count the cats. A lot. We've had I wanna say eight dogs through my entire life. Can your mom and/or dad play any instruments, or how about anyone else in your family? No. My older sister played the clarinet in school, though. Have you ever colored in an adult coloring book as a stress reliever? I have, but they don't really affect my stress level. Can you crack crab legs without a tool? UGH EW I hate crab legs. So mushy and just... ew. I don't think I've tried to without a tool. How many light sources are in the room you’re in? Excluding the natural light out my windows, three. What’s your favorite thing to put on bagels? Just your usual cream cheese. Who’s your favorite director? Tim Burton. I love his style. Bats: cute or gross? Bats are SO goddamn cute. What was the last really intense pain you felt? I had a sudden pain in my chest the other day that scared me quite a bit. Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake? A lake, for sure. How would you feel about traveling abroad alone? I'd be way too lonely. What is your father's middle name? John. Where did your last kiss take place? The airport. Which movie villain do you find the most terrifying? Probably Jason. A masked guy just casually pursuing you with a knife is horrifying to me. If you married your favorite celebrity what would your last name be? Fischbach alskdfla;wer;lkwera;wle Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures? No. Which one of your family members are you closest to? My ma. Would you rather have name brand shoes or name brand clothes? Shoes. It's very important for them to be comfy for me. Are you a good liar? Yes. :x Are you proud of your parents? Yeah. If you could get backstage tickets to ANY concert - which would you pick? If Mom was with me, Metallica. She would actually fucking die if she met them. Like she cried and laughed with joy when she found out about the concert in Raleigh some years ago, and we thought we were going to go, but yeah, money. Which is better: orange or grape soda? Orange cream soda. Grape soda is so gross. Was the last thing you ate hot or cold? It was room temperature. Who was the last person in your house who isn’t family? Our landlord/family friend. I think. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Can you remember the last song you listened to? I'm listening to "Thoughts & Prayers" by Motionless In White right now. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? Ha, that is a colossal understatement... Can you do a back flip, or anything else of that sort? Definitely not. I couldn't even do stuff like that as a kid. Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? No. What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? ^ Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer, for sure. Do you have a job, and if so, where do you work? No. If not, do you want one? Not right now. I want to focus on the gym and getting in shape. Do any medical afflictions run in your family? A whole lot. What’s your favorite Mexican dish? Shrimp quesadillas. Or rice with cheese sauce. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yeah, hockey and baseball. Do you prefer pads, tampons or something else? I'm actually conflicted on this right now. I use tampons, but there are reasons I don't really like them and am considering something else. Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? Not me myself, but Mom has. What months were you and your siblings born in? My two immediate sisters were born in April and June. What did you have for dinner last night? Uhhhhh... I want to say I had a chicken pesto bowl? Have you ever had sex in/on a vehicle? No, that sounds so uncomfortable. Do you do anything to groom your eyebrows? No. I don't care about that anymore. Has your town ever flooded? Oh, for sure. Hurricane Floyd from when I was... I wanna say two or three WRECKED my area. Have you ever played at the McDonald’s play place? Yeah. That was a blast as a kiddo. Have you ever taken a picture of snow? Yeah. Do you cry easily? Very. Are you happy with where you live? No. The suburbs suck. I miss living in the country so much. Do people ever mistake you for being a different race? No. Do you hate the last person you kissed? No, she's my best friend in the whole world. What genre is your favorite movie? I actually don't know what it's considered? It's a kids movie, though. Who was the last person you were in a car with? My mom. Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? My permit picture is fucking hideous. When was the last time somebody hit on you? *shrug* Was the last person you met a male or female? A guy - my personal trainer. What brand is your underwear? I'm in my pjs, and only a madman would wear underwear to bed. What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? Just the rolls, really, lol. I'm not a big fan of Thanksgiving foods at all. Do you have a TV in your room? No, because I don't watch TV. Are any of your electronics charging right now? My laptop always is, though I know you shouldn't do that. I need to charge my phone, too. What was the last video game you played? Video game, not computer, I want to say uh... The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon? What’s the biggest promise someone’s ever made to you? Did they keep it? To never leave me. He didn't. Google, Bing, or Yahoo? Google. What was the last song you had on repeat? The song I mentioned earlier. Who is your favorite person to watch on YouTube? Markiplier. :') How many college degrees do you want? It'd be nice to have a Bachelor's in SOMETHING, but I'm not returning to school. Three tries was enough money down the drain. Can you wink? Yeah. Do you own any jerseys? No. Have you ever tried to snort Pixie Stix as a child, or even an adult? Uh, no. Do you like going to baby showers? Do you go only for the cake? No. The last time Jason and I hung out in any capacity was his brother's wife's baby shower, and it's a bad memory. As well, it just reminds me of what I once wanted with him. I'll go to them and be okay, but definitely not thrilled. Has there ever been a time in your life, you felt sexually undecided? Yes, especially in the I want to say 8th grade. I had an inescapable crisis that literally lasted a whole week (or maybe more) forcing myself to believe I was straight, despite already showing but denying bisexual attractions. I was religious back then, so believed if I wasn't straight, I'd go to Hell. Then I came out as bisexual in uhhhh... 2018 I wanna say, and that was a long examination of my feelings. It felt like a massive weight off my shoulders when I accepted it. I felt legit happy. Do you think tattoos and piercings are sexy on the opposite sex? ugggghhhhh yes Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? No. What color are the headphones you have at this moment in time? My earbuds are pink and white. Ever choked severely on something during lunch at your school? No. Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie? Fruits, for sure. My fave is strawberries. What would you say is the color of your favorite bra? I have a pink and black lacy one that is super cute, but it's too small for me right now. It just stays in my drawer. Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? No. What do you usually buy when you go to the dollar store? If I'm stopping there for a snack (which is usually the only time we stop by one), I tend to get a honeybun. Ever peed in the pool? Be honest! No, that is so gross. When you’re older, what kind of house do you want to live in? I want a medium-sized house that's semi-isolated in the woods. I'd love a nice path to walk down and take photos, a catio for Roman or whatever cat I may have in the future... stuff like that. I need lots of nature. Where do you want to get married? In some sort of gothic building, though I'm sure that would be a WILDLY expensive venue, so I doubt that'll happen. Realistically, either in the woods or even a massive flower garden. Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Yes. What is your favorite childhood TV show? Pokemon. Honestly, do you like school? No, I didn't. Last thing that made you cry? PTSD. Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now? No big secrets, no. Last person you took a walk with? Sara, years ago. Have you ever liked someone who didn’t like you back? Oh, have I... Who was the last person to actually pick you up in the air? Probably Jason, honestly. Does any part of your body hurt? My non-existent abs are killing me from exercising yesterday. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a regret what would you do? While it's tempting, hand me the cash. Can you keep a secret? Absolutely. You tell me a secret, you can guarantee I'll be keeping it between you and me. Your favorite romantic movie? The Notebook. How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? I honestly like it. I love the aesthetic of it, and I know people say "well you should celebrate love every day," and while that's right, what's so wrong about nationally designating a specific day to appreciate it? I think it's a very cute holiday. Who was the last person you took a picture with? My sister Katie. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? I haven't worn jeans in yeeeeaaaarrrrssss. When I did though, I loved jeans like that, especially for skinny jeans. Do you celebrate 420?No. Have you ever kicked a vending machine? No. How do you eat Oreos? I prefer to just dip them in milk. If that's unavailable, I separate the two parts, eat the cream, and then the two cookies. Do you wear your shoes in the house? No. Would you survive in prison? Absofuckinglutely not. It's dark, but just to be entirely honest, I'd probably find a way to kill myself. Ever been to Georgia? I've been through it. Do you get your hair cut every month? Not every month, no. It needs a trim right now badly, though.

Current relationship in detail. I'm single and should be. If you were kicked out of your house, who would you call/go to? My dad. List things you spend money on in an average week. Nothing. Rate each of your sexual partners (if any) from 1-10. He was honestly a 10 lmao like I don't have a lot of experience at all, but yeah. Post the last FB group/page that you joined. I actually don't remember because I've been on break from Facebook for around a month. Would you parents be mad if you were in a relationship? No... Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you? I'm sure he has. He dated someone right after me for like... eight months or something? Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to? I think that's very obvious by now. What board games are you good at? Idk, I don't really enjoy board games. Is there a sport/hobby you keep thinking about taking up, but that you’ve never quite gotten around to starting? Definitely no sports, but I've been wanting to get back into video editing. I just... haven't, even though I have the software. Do you think pranks like egging/toilet-papering someone's house are funny or immature? They're incredibly immature. I see zero humor in them. Do you think “sleeve tattoos” are a good idea? They're hot as fuck, man. Is there anything in particular that your parents argue about? What? I'll just say they're divorced for good reasons. Do you ever actually read the “Terms and Services” when you sign up for websites and such? No. If you have a handheld games console (a DS or GameBoy, for example), how often do you use it? Almost never. Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, what do you say? Realistically, I wouldn't answer because I don't answer numbers I don't recognize. Hypothetically, if I knew it was him, I'd probably say something along the lines of, "Hey J, are you okay?", because something must be seriously wrong if he wants to talk to me of all people. If your best friend was kicked out, would your parents let him/her live with you? Mom absolutely would. Are you afraid of falling in love? I'm terrified of it. Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now? I wish I didn't. Have you ever kissed someone & wished you didn’t? Yes: Tyler. Did you get kissed last night? Haven't been kissed in years. Do you enjoy going through a carwash? Bring out the rainbow soap and it's hype lmao. How did you get most of your scars? My cat, ha ha. He sometimes plays way too rough, and I just scar very easily. Ever had to take an inkblot test? Yes, when I went to a psychologist. Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? Maybe? Have you ever seriously slapped someone in anger? My sister as a kid on her arm. Safe to say I got in trouble for it. What/who woke you up this morning? Just my body. Who was the last person to be in your bedroom besides you? Mom. What’s one of your locked text messages? da;lsd;fakwer I have one locked from Sara that says something like, "You are so beautiful." I cried. Have you ever finished a game of Monopoly? I think? Jason and I used to play the digital one you could download on the PS3. Is there anyone you know who’s in any way paralyzed? No. I mean, I know of a girl who went to my school who was paralyzed from the waist down in an accident, but I didn't/don't know her personally. She was a MASSIVE deal in my education community. Like you would see "prayers for (name)" on school and church signs. The truth all comes out when someone is drunk, true? Usually true. I sometimes think back on the one time Jason was drunk, and he just told me in the most adoring voice, "I love you, Brittany." It's painful as fuck to remember. I really do wonder if he meant it, given this was in the later half of our relationship. When was the last time you felt disappointed in yourself? Constantly. How about feeling disappointed in someone else? I dunno. For you, do you commonly feel more jealousy or envy? I definitely experience envy more often. Do you rely on the heads/tails flipping of a coin sometimes for decisions? No. Do you have any specific chores you do around the house? I'm supposed to empty the dishwasher in particular. For you, does comfort or fashion come first in dressing? Comfort, 100%. Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other? No. Do you like Laffy Taffy? I do. That sounds pretty good right about now. Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? Electric. Are your biceps at all noticeable? Yeah, no. Have you ever seen a walrus? Yeah, at SeaWorld as a kid. Did you ever have one of those Easy Bake ovens as a kid? Yeah. My little sister in particular was obsessed. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. From inside of your house, how many doors lead outside? Two. Are there a lot of trees in your yard? No. :/ I miss that. Have you ever liked someone that treated you like crap? No. Have a best friend? Yeah. :') Does it bother you when your best friend does stuff without you? That is so childish. Everyone needs space sometimes. But to answer the question, considering she lives many states away from me, obviously not. Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? Yes. Does anyone hate you? I wouldn't at all be surprised if Jason does. Colleen might, but I really don't give a shit if she does. What’s the one thing you regret more than anything? The way I spoke to Jason after the breakup. If only I could take those letters back. Do you remember important dates? I am VERY bad at dates, doesn't matter how important they are. What’s some lyrics from a song that means a lot to you? "For such a little thing, you sure are in your own way" from a Mother Mother song. Who gives the best advice? Sara. Who do you usually see in your dreams? :) Jason is nearly a permanent fixture. Jeez, I'm bringing him up a lot in this one. I'm surprised my PTSD isn't dragging me into a pit for it. What type of cake did you last eat? Uhhh I wanna say double chocolate? Mom got two slices from the store for me and herself a long time ago. How many of your friends are gay or bisexual? A large number. I don't feel like counting. What’s your favorite type of sandwich? Just your usual peanut butter and jelly. When was the last time someone asked you out? Did you accept or decline? Years ago by Girt. I accepted. Do you like The Offspring? Sure, I like a handful of their songs. One pillow or two? I sleep with two. Do you like Mad Libs? Sure, they can be funny. Are you suicidal? Well damn, just throw that in there. Anyway, no. I'll admit I've had very brief, passive thoughts very rarely as of the late, just wondering if there really is a point to me being here, but I'm not actively suicidal at all rn. Where do your grandparents live? They're dead. When alive though, they lived in Florida and Michigan. Do you cut yourself? And this one? No, I haven't in many years. What is your pet’s name? Roman and Venus. Have you ever been to Canada? No, but I'd love to visit. Aren’t babies overrated? "Overrated" is definitely the wrong word... I don't particularly find a lot of babies cute and I don't want my own, but they're not overrated. Have a built-in pool in your backyard? Never have. Ever won yourself a stuffed animal? Yeah. Ever had someone else win you a stuffed animal? Yes. Ever been to a circus? No. I wouldn't set foot into one. Ever shot animals? I never, ever could. Do you consider yourself intelligent? I USED to. I think I'm dumb as shit now. School knowledge did not latch onto me well, I guess. Have you ever run away from home? Yes. It was so overdramatic. I came back hours later because I had my phone and Mom texted me threatening to call the cops. Do you put family first, friends, relationships, school, or something else? I will never put my mental health behind anything/one again. What’s something you’ve stood up for in the past? When Colleen and I were friends in middle school, we both spoke before the class in absolute disgust at how our classmates were treating our poor substitute teacher. Colleen had AT them, while I was more tame about it but still wanted to bash into their heads that they were all being absolute trash to the poor man. What’s something you worked extremely hard to get? My mental wellbeing. Granted, I'm not exactly "well" now, but once upon a time I was living in the deepest ocean trench as far as depression goes. Are you satisfied with your body image? Hell no. I really, really, really hope loyally going to the gym will help me with that. Have you ever been labeled negatively or otherwise been called something extremely derogatory? Not that I know of. Have you ever seriously taken advantage of someone or been taken advantage of? No. Have you ever been seriously ill? Mentally, immensely. Physically, not really. I've had some nasty stomach bugs, but nothing truly severe. Have you ever befriended a former enemy? Ha, it's funny, I used to hate Jason's first ex/heartbreak for how badly she hurt him. Like she could've been falling off the face of the earth with only me to save her, and I'd let her keep falling. I hated her. Yet now we're Facebook friends and comment on each other's stuff like it's nothing, ha ha. She reached out to me a few years ago to apologize for high school stuff (she also hated me for Juan - her ex or something along those lines - being interested in me instead of her), we chatted a bit, and now I think she's great. If you’re not religious, would you ever pray as a last resort? If you are religious, do you often pray for other people? I don't pray anymore. That's all I'll say to keep this from becoming potentially very offensive. Have you ever dated someone, then after you dated they came out of the closet or switched (for lack of a better word) sexual orientation? I'm pretty sure my middle school boyfriend Aaron is gay, but I'm not certain. He vanished from Facebook a long time ago. Has a boy/girl ever walked a ridiculous distance just to see you? How about vice versa? I tried doing that the night of the breakup. By car, I know it was a seven-minute drive, but walking there, never mind at night, was ludicrous. I only didn't manage because after a few minutes, Mom came after me and kept cutting me off with the car. When was the last time you felt really uncomfortable? Right now. My abs REALLY hurt, and I'm also cramping like a motherfucker after not having a period for 3+ months because of TMS therapy. I'm still pissed about how it had a physical effect on me, but didn't mentally do what it was meant to. Is there anything that your mom is really known for as to how she is as a person? She is very, very loving and lives to help others. Who have you been talking to the most today? Nobody, really. I've spoken with Mom obviously, but for the most part, today's been quiet. Are you nosy? I can be pretty damn nosy, yes. What’s the meanest thing you have done to a friend? Consistently flirted with her boyfriend behind her back. I was 12, okay? If your ex called you crying, what would it most likely be about? THE ex, I have no idea. I don't know what's going on in his life, besides his mother dying quite a few months ago, but I don't see why he'd contact me about that. Who was the best kisser out of all the people you have kissed? Jason. Have you ever been told that you have an annoying laugh? No, but I think I do.

[lord-woolsley]

Strangeness And Charm

Fandom: Dragon Age II (Anders/Garrett Hawke) Chapters: 1/1 (2033 words) Rating: Teen And Up Summary: Isabela has had enough of Anders and Garrett dancing around each other for three years, yearning and pining. When a favour for Aveline brings them to the Wounded Coast, she decides to set them up. Rant: If you like it, please leave some love on ao3. ♡ Ao3: Link

Strangeness and Charm

Anders woke up in his bed – or whatever he was telling himself was a bed – in the backroom of his “clinic“. Even though it was still late summer a chill was creeping over his skin, leaving goose bumps all over it and making him shiver.

He was wrapping himself in his blanket – or whatever he was telling himself was a blanket – hugging it tight before he let out an exhausted sigh. Justice was sending him messages – orders – so many of them through his dreams lately and Anders felt like he didn’t sleep at all.

The spirit had been feasting on his mind, his insecurities, his needs and wishes when he couldn’t have been more vulnerable, searching for something he could use for his own cause. He always took advantage of the fact that Anders – like all humans – needed to sleep. A state he didn’t have any control over and Justice liked to put thoughts and ideas into Anders head at night that couldn’t be his own, could they?

They screamed loud behind his eyes, showing him pictures of destruction, of fighting, of war even, pictures that still seemed so right, so necessary.

Justified, he thought, gritting his teeth. But were they- justified? He asked himself. His eyes were burning, the blue light behind them so intense, banishing the soft hazel he called his own, forcing his question to disappear without a second thought.

I need to get up, he said to himself. Enough of whining about something he couldn’t change anyway. People needed his help and even Justice enjoyed himself when Anders was helping the sick. Keeping Justice on his good side, keeping him satisfied, was something that mostly resulted into being left alone. Anders liked to be left alone, liked to be the master of his thoughts, words and actions.

Sometimes – even though he and Justice were so entwined at this point, two beings living in one body – he remembered how it was to be the only one in there. Who would he be if he were just Anders, a shabby mage with strawberry blonde hair and freckles on his face? What decisions would he make if they were truly his own?

"Hawke, that horrible horrible man, with his sarcastic words and dumb jokes“, he thought, a sad smile on his lips. If the circumstances had been different, Hawke was a decision he would have made without a second thought.

•

When Anders finally opened the clinic, the first thing he saw was Isabela. He sighed. Maker, why do you punish me so early in the morning?

“Really, Bela, again?“, he asked. “Can’t you keep your hands to yourself for one night?“ Her lips formed into a mischievous smile. “Like you do all the time?“ Anders groaned. “You need to relax, Blondie.“, she mimicked Varric‘s words. “I could“, she stepped closer and straightened his cloak. “Oh no, no, no, no, I rather think not. I already know more about your sex life than I ever intended to. And I would like to leave it at that.“ “Your loss.“, she said.

“Still pining after Garrett? It’s time you moved on. Or make a move at least. I pity you both dancing around each other the whole time. How long has it been? 3 years? I mean I wouldn’t say no to Hawke, you know? I tried. But he‘s always busy yearning, it‘s quite depressing.“ “As if.“ Anders rolled his eyes. “Why are you here? To annoy me? To dig around and get information involving my non-existing love life.“, Anders wanted to change the topic as quick as possible, this wasn’t Isabela‘s business. At all. “Hm.“, She nodded. “You know there are actual people out there who are in need of a healer.“ “I am in need of a healer.“ Anders granted her an annoyed look. “The usual?“, he asked, rolling his eyes as far back into his head as they allowed him. “Yeah.“ “Next time you‘re on your own with it.“ “You wouldn’t!“ “Try me. Let‘s just get it over with and never speak of it again.“

•

Isabela was right though, he was avoiding being alone with Garrett as much as possible, losing control was nothing he could afford. He was only a man after all. In need of- Maker‘s Breath. What was it with the people today? That’s why he liked cats better.

“Garrett promised to help me with something...personal“, a familiar voice said. Aveline. What was Aveline doing here?

“He says he needs you for it. I don’t know why to be honest but who am I to judge Garrett‘s decisions.“ “You do that all the time.“ Anders said, eyebrows raised. “Fair enough.“ “What‘s different today?“ “It‘s private. Please don’t ask.“ Anders had a good understanding of privacy and wished way too often that people respected his. He didn’t ask, if Aveline didn’t want to tell him, he would accept that without questions. That didn’t mean he wasn’t curious.

•

“Anders, I‘m happy to see you again. You’re currently so busy, we rarely see each other these days. It’s a shame.“ Garrett clapped him on the back with his usual force and Anders instantly stumbled. That man really underestimated his strength. Like all the time.

Anders was lucky he didn’t lose his balance and landed in the dirt, not that it made any difference concerning his clothes but it was better for his ego that way.

But what if he had tripped? Would Garrett have caught him or would he have helped him up entwining their fingers?

For a moment Anders thought about throwing himself on the floor just to find out. But Isabela was with them and she already smiled one of her suggestive grins which instantly put a terrible blush on his face. Stupid ginger complexion, he cursed, making everything so bloody obvious. Maybe Aveline would sympathize.

When Anders dared to look at Garrett, nothing in his expression had changed. Thank the Maker. Maybe he wouldn’t die of embarrassment after all. At least not today, by any chance.

“What‘s wrong, what do you need me for?“, Anders asked. They just arrived at the Wounded Coast and it was already getting dark. Normally Garrett always talked to them about their missions first, this was extremely unusual but since Anders secluded himself so much recently, Garrett had probably thought he didn’t want to be disturbed or even worse, he didn’t want to see him for some reason.

Hawke – who probably thought he was whispering (but didn’t whisper at all) – was taking a step closer to Anders before blurting some words out that put a horrible blush on Aveline‘s face. Yes, she would definitely sympathize with the ginger complexion, he decided.

“Aveline here has a little crush on Guardsman Donnic and she needs some help to pursue him.“ “Oh.“, Anders said. “Not a word.“ Aveline seemed like she was about to rip Hawke in half if he only dared to continue speaking. Or Anders if he commented on it. Which he wouldn’t do, he didn’t plan on dying tonight.

“All these people with their crushes here tonight, I wish I would have brought someone myself.“, Isabela said and Anders thought about commenting on Aveline‘s romantic inclinations after all. Maybe dying wasn’t that bad.

“Huh?“, Hawke asked, pure eloquence. “You know her, she likes to tease.“ “That I do.“

While Aveline and Donnic were patrolling and flirting – if one could call it that, she was really competing with Anders own nervous rambling – Hawke, Isabela and Anders had much to do with keeping the bandits at bay, a factor that really played out in Ander‘s favour. They didn’t have much time for talking and had the great chance to listen to Aveline embarrassing herself. Anders felt terribly sorry for her while Hawke was slowly losing his patience.

“How can one be so bad at that? And how can Donnic be so oblivious?“, he asked, dramatically throwing his hands into the air like he wanted the Maker to do something about it.

“I don’t know, Garrett.“, Isabela said, amused. When she opened her mouth again Anders knew she would say something at his expensive. “Exactly. How can one be that oblivious?“, she repeated. „One must be really stupid to not notice anything after indulging oneself in three years of romantic fantasies while the real thing is right in front of them. Oblivious indeed.“ “What do you mean?“, Hawke asked, mildly confused. “Care to elaborate?“ “My dear Garrett, you might be buff but you are not that stupid.“ “I-”, Garrett started but Isabela cut in.

“Anders, please, for the sake of Andraste‘s lady parts, say something. At least one of us needs to get laid tonight. And since I‘m here with your stupid lot, wasting my night away instead of talking to handsome sailors in The Hanged Man while drinking cheap ale, I will not be that person. And Aveline will definitely not get lucky either after the disaster we just witnessed.“ She let out a sigh that made it noticeably clear she was so done with their idiocy and wouldn’t tolerate any more of it. “No excuses.“, she said and focused her gaze on Garrett. “You‘re a daft couple of... take a hint and bend him over a basin, will you?“ “Oh.“, Garret said. “Oh indeed.“

“Let‘s save Aveline from herself first, okay?“, Isabela suggested. “I can’t look at this any longer.“

“And then we let you deal with the rest, Bela, and we sneak away.“ “Thank you very much.“, Isabela sighed. “If you both didn’t annoy the hell out of me I would be offended but I‘m just so glad this thing“, she gestured between Hawke and Anders “is resolved now. Even though it means all my chances with Garrett are gone, aren’t they?“ “They most definitely are.“, Anders said while making a gesture that implied he would keep an eye on her. “If you change your mind and let me borrow him for a night, let me know.“ “No chance. He doesn’t have a say in this.“

Garrett chuckled and took Anders hand in his. “Ugh.“, Isabela said. “I prefer the Heartworm guy over looking at you being disgustingly affectionate. Let me deal with Aveline and disappear from my vision before I vomit on your shoes.“ And that they did.

•

Anders woke up in his bed – this was his bed, wasn’t it? – and tried to snuggle up to his blanket which surprisingly didn’t feel like a blanket. “Go back to sleep.“, the blanket said and didn’t sound like a blanket at all.

Anders wanted to follow the advice; he was so incredibly tired. Justice had tormented him with one nightmare after another, mostly screaming at him that he wouldn’t allow Anders to forget the cause, the greater good, because of unnecessary distractions. Distractions such as Garrett.

Not justified, Anders thought. Let me have this. He knew Justice wouldn’t force him to give up Hawke when he still went through with the plan.

Justice was right about so many things after all, he wanted the mages to be free more than anyone else and Anders would give them that freedom. But first he deserved some of it himself and his freedom might as well be Garrett.

If they only had been born in a world that was fair to mages, a world in which he didn’t have to make a pact with a spirit in the first place, a world which would let him have this – a little bit of happiness – without regrets. He had to think about the future, remember why he did this. There would be mages who could have this because Justice had succeeded with his plan. Anders had to keep this in mind.

“Ten years - a hundred years from now - someone like me will love someone like you, and there will be no templars to tear them apart.“, Anders whispered. “What did you say?“, Garrett asked, still half-asleep. “I said I need to open the clinic in a few, I bet Isabela is the first in line.“ “Why would she come to the clinic?“ “I‘m pretty sure she gave in and bedded the Heartworm guy.“ “Gross.“

“Anders.“, Garrett said but it somehow sounded like a question. “Hm?“ “My door will be open tonight.“

[wardingwatson-fr]

31. Deckard and Liz :3

“Flower” - Fun Choice 

Deckard leans back and the old wooden chair croaks in protest as the front prongs lift just an inch from the ground. He rolls his shoulders back and can feel rather than hear the sharp crack raddle through his cranium as he attempts to push away the bags stooping beneath his red eyes. He bites back a yawn, but it still finds its way out as a strangled groan. He’s tired. 

The chair dips back, dangerously so, before his weight rolls forward and the front end of the chair settles back onto stable ground. His feet spread out, his hands rest once more on a solid black spruce table within, what this town considers, a decent library, and his eyes once more settle on the drawing depicted in the book.

“Hulder.” The word feels foriegn on his tongue. “Or is it Huldra?” He squints at the typed scrawl written in the shadow dialect and wonders, not for the last time, if he should just get one of the librarians proficient in the language to just read it to him like, you know, they would to a fledgling. And yeah, sure, he’d be totally asking to get dunked on for being a total idiot for not knowing something as simple as the language of the region they’ve been travelling through for the last few weeks, but he’d also be saved from a headache. Except he wouldn’t because that’s just how his life is. So, why even bother? 

Besides, he can still pick out more than a few affixes rooted in common draconic to carry him and as for the sentences that look like they’ve been mixed in a blender? Eh, they’re probably not important and certainly not his problem- not yet, at least, but that’s for future Deckard, from present Deckard, with love and mostly apathy. He forces himself to reread the same sentence again; “Hulder...secret..lady?” He squints, leans closer to comprehend the sentence better. “Dark, Obscure? Forest. Maybe they mean den or a lair.” He mumbles, a familiar frustration building behind his temples. “Why do they even put their verb at the end? Ugh, is this mostly attributive?” 

He doesn’t have enough patience and knowledge of grammar to chew through this all. 

Deckard holds his hands around his forehead as he leans forward again and glares at the text before his glance slides to the left where the etching is. It’s black and white, cross hatched, almost like a drawing in one of those old fairytale books or a medical textbook, of a lightly dressed woman- a beautiful, breathtaking, and apparently dangerous hulder- draped so across a large, protruding root of a gnarled black spruce. In the space between the ground and the root, a cow’s tail dangles idly. And it’s her. He knows it’s her. She’s unmistakable. 

It’s a horrible drawing, he thinks to himself as he traces a finger around the form (not even realizing the heart-shaped path his finger has taken). They’ve taken her soft lips and given her a hard line and where her electric blue eyes should be, two, dark, vacant dots stare back. A hatchling could do better than that. 

He could do better than that. 

He lets out another sigh. He came here this morning to figure out what she is, not swoon over some dragon’s drawing. It wasn’t a horrible drawing, but it wasn’t swoon material. Deckard considers ripping the page out anyways- but later, when that one librarian stops glancing his way every five minutes. So, she’s a hulder. Whatever that is. And hulder’s deal with….secrets? They live in forests- which, newsflash, so do most dragons and beastclan, so that’s not really helpful. 

He flips ahead and bites back another groan when more text greets him instead of more images (preferably of her face) like he had hoped. It was a complete accident that he even found this book. It’s not even in the catalogue. The leatherbound book covered in scratches and stains had made a strong enough impression after it had fallen off the shelf that he couldn’t help but glance through it as he nursed his bruised foot on the empty chair across from him. Then, bam, there’s her body curled like a laugh and nestled against a tree that he’d almost swear he’s seen before if it weren’t for the fact that all the trees in the Tangled Woods looked exactly the same. 

He draws his finger along the spine of the sentence, skipping most of the contents and pausing every so often on the words that he can make out. So far, he’s got: 

Hulder, Secrets, Lair (or just a dark forest), flowers- or as the shadow tongued might say, ‘multicolored tree stems’. He chuckles to himself at that. Maybe she likes flowers? Despite all his expectations, there was a florist closer to the coastal part of the town where the forest’s canopy is thin enough to raise sun-thirsty plants. Yeah, he could get something simple. Just a few flowers in a bouquet and something sweet for her to wrap her lips around- 

The wildclaw behind the desk looks up and raises an eyebrow at him as Deckard desperately tries to quell his sudden choking. It takes an aggressive, dismissive wave and a spluttered, “I’m fine, really” to keep her from walking over, but she looks close to calling out for a medic as she continues to watch him. He can feel his face and earfins burn as he borderline buries his face into the journal. Focus, Deckard. This is not the time and definitely Not the place. He needs to Read this Book so he can impress her- so that he knows what he’s dealing with here. 

He can’t read the text like this with his forehead nestled into its crease, so he puts some distance between himself and the book and leans back again. He said he’d visit her again before they left and he’s sure Siren would be thrilled to have someone distract her. Even, if it might be via flirting. If not flirting, then, well, he’s not sure. He should get her flowers. She probably wouldn’t expect flowers. Should he get her something sweet? What do hulder’s eat? He glances at the journal one more time. There’s no way he’s going to manage to slough through that text to find the answer without evolving his headache into a migraine. He’ll have to try again another day. 

He lets the chair fall forward and thud, before pushing the chair back and standing up with the journal in hand. He slips between the bookcases, weaving in and out of sight, and then out the other side towards the exit. If he leaves now, he should be able to get something simple at the florist before the expedition. The treasure on hand should be enough and it’s not like this town has a nightlife worth spending it on.

He steps through and out the doors of the library, grip tight on his satchel. He smirks. And he didn’t even have to tear out the page after all. 

Much later, after walking the length of the town and back, Deckard settles with a bundle of purple strawberries and a medium bouquet of flowers consisting of apple blossoms, pink camellia and carnations with fern woven in. His treasure bag is empty and he has never seen Siren more confused at the sight of these things. Please don’t ask, please don’t ask, please don’t- thankfully, Siren turns his attention away and leads the expedition forward and Deckard breathes out.

 They enter into the dark forest. 

[kabih]

I need confirmation to move forwards

It’s past midnight! Merry Christmas and Happy holidays......or should I say Holigays 

This is my gift for​ @seicchan-art, I’m your secret Santa! I love your art and I hope you don’t hate what I wrote 😅 (I posted this on ao3 and I really recommend reading it there. Just because the formatting is better and you don’t have to deal with tumblr adding emojis everywhere)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21898144

_______________________________________

Wendy now turned her head to Carla who was still flying around Lucy, “It should be blue.”  Lucy ignored her and continued going through Wendy's closet, adding on to the pile of clothes on the floor when she picked up something she didn’t like. 

“Wendy's always wearing blue”, Lucy hurriedly looked over to the girl in question to make sure she didn’t take offence, “Not that you don’t look cute in it! I just feel like there nothing wrong with wearing something different.” 

Carla flew closer to the closet now trying to find an outfit of her own “She shouldn’t be trying anything different, you're supposed to act like yourself on a date! And that counts for looks too!”   Her eyes landed on a sky blue dress and pointed towards it, “See something simple like this would be perfect for Wendy.”

“I mean-” Wendy intervened.

Lucy talked over her. “Really! Carla come on! I’m sure Wendy would rather-” 

“Well- ” the young girl tried again 

“I’m sure Wendy would prefer-” 

“Well!”    Lucy and Carla turned to look at the young girl sitting on her bed tired from being ignored. Once Wendy knew she actually had their attention, she continued, “You guys sure are mentioning my name a lot in a conversation I don’t even get to be apart of.”     Lucy dropped the purple shirt she was trying to convince Carla would be a good choice.     “Sorry! Sorry!” Wendy was waving her hands with her face turning red, realizing how harsh she sounded in her outburst. “I’m just stressed and you guys fighting over my outfit isn’t helping. Plus it just doesn’t seem like the most important thing right now.”     Carla went over to Wendy, apologizing for the fight yet not without commenting on how Wendy should still wear the blue dress. 

Lucy picked up a few of the clothes on the floor and put them back in the closet. She then put her arm around Wendy after she joined her on the bed. “It’s okay, sorry if we’re going overboard. I understand if you're a bit anxious Wendy, but remember it’s just Chelia! Imagine like it’s you guys hanging out, but in a more romantic setting.”    Yet that’s exactly what was freaking Wendy out. Her and Chelia have been friends for years and this is the first time there’s hope she could like the dragon slayer back.  

_______________________________________

A few days prior the pink-haired girl asks Wendy out. Well, Lucy is the one who seems to think Chelia asks her out. Wendy on the other hands see's this has another normal outing. 

Chelia ran up to her with her face red, asking her if they could meet tomorrow at some new coffee shop that opened.

"Do you think they have strawberry shortcake?" Ezra asked, Gray behind with her. "If so can we come? I've heard good things about it but I'd rather not go across town if they don't have any."

Chelia responded, eyes never leaving Wendy's, "Sorry, but I'm not going to be in town long and I really wanted it to be the two of us. So, do you want to go out with me Wendy?" _______________________________________

Wendy could see Lucy running over to her the second Chelia left.

_______________________________________

Once Lucy caught up to her she enthusiastically decided she was going to help Wendy get ready for her "date". Well till Carla started disagreeing with her sense of style. 

Wendy couldn't help but comment, "Lucy I still feel like your making a big deal out of nothing."

Lucy just hugged the girl tighter, "Wendy listen to me, she literally said and I quote "do you want to go out?" I don't know how she could have meant something else."

"Still," Wendy murmured, "they were people around, don't you ask people on a date in private? Plus she wasn't even nervous"

"Wendy the poor girl faced looked like a red rose garden, trust me when I say she was nervous."

"She was just running from Toby for ditching their mission." 

It's not like Wendy doesn't want this to be a date. She does! But if she was asking Chelia to "hang" by themselves she'd be a blushing mess and she wouldn't do it in such a public space as the guildhall! Even if her words were romantic, the context of them really wasn't! For someone who loves to talk about love, there no way Chelia would ask Wendy out in such a lacklustre manner.

Maybe Wendy didn’t misunderstand anything like Lucy said, maybe this really was just her and Chelia hanging out.  If she was really asking Wendy on a date, then Wendy would have been picked that up herself. She’s not oblivious! Wendy not that young! She’s old enough to go on a date damn it!    Well a, maybe date that is.  _______________________________________ Wendy ended up wearing a light purple jacket, with small desings of silver decorating it's bottom. Before Wendy left, Lucy found some black fur-lined leggings that Carla and Lucy both didn't hate. _______________________________________

Wendy swears on the hot chocolate she's drinking that was Gray entering the coffee shop her and Chelia were just leaving. 

Wendy couldn't help herself, "Chelia doesn't that look like Gray?"

"Wait seriously? What's he doing here?" She turned her head to try to find him.

"Ezra did ask if there were selling strawberry shortcake here. She'll be really happy when he tells them they do."

Chelia giggled into her mittens "Please, don't tell me he went across town just to check if they had shortcakes?" 

"It was a strawberry shortcake Chelia! And it was for Ezra, of course, he'd go."

Both girls laughed and joked a bit longer till they reached the center of Magnolia. There were shops and trees all covered with snow. With the sky turning into a beautiful midnight blue it was easy to notice the stars started appearing. Not too long after what seemed like a multitude of tiny lights slowly started trickling into the sky. About as big as a human thumb, you could compare them to the stars above, though they were probably a lot easier to reach. 

Wendy noticed Chelia looking up at them in wonder. "I've always wondered what those were every time i've visited."

"They're called Hikari, they came out after the sun sets during winter. You can only find them in Magnolia."

They were so close, floating all around, so easy to grab and Chelia then reached out to do just that. Once she's got hold of it, it slipped through her fingers and flew into the sky. Wendy couldn't help but smile watching Chelia make the same mistake she made during her first winters in Magnolia "Sorry Chelia, but these little guys don't like being touched" 

The pink-haired girl pouted, "So they don't love me? Too bad I'm quite a catch! Oh, don't worry you're a catch to Wendy."

It's when Chelia slowly slipes her hand into Wendy's that said girl remembers why she was so stressed about this "date".

She pulled away and took a step back. "Wendy are you okay?" Chelia seems worried now. Probably thinking she did something wrong. Did she? Is it her fault Wendy confused? 

No, it's not her fault, Wendy the one with the crush. But still, how much longer...........will she have to wait for someone else to say something.     

She likes Chelia, god she really does. What Wendy doesn’t like is this back and forth, this can they will they. She can’t spend forever waiting for Chelia to take the first step and shouldn't this be it? 

"Chelia...." 

But it doesn't feel like it. Not without her saying something. Wendy’s a confident person, she’s faced way worse than the cute girl urging her to continue.

  “I mean, Chelia.....do you...?”    She needs to know how Chelia feels. No, she wants to know. By the off chance, Chelia doesn’t like Wendy back that's, that’s fine! Sure it would hurt, but they’ll move past it. Chelia would understand! That’s one of the reasons why Wendy likes her in the first place.    “Is this....is this....” 

But what if she doesn't-

Who cares about what if’s.

“Is this a date? Because I want it to be one.” 

  Chelia doesn’t look away from Wendy, she doesn’t stop smiling either.    Taking that as a sign to continue, “It’s just when you ask me to come with you I wasn’t sure if it was. Since you did it so casually I thought this was just us being friends" She no longer watching Chelia's reaction ending her ramble by studying her hands.

“So I wanted to know if this was a date, I want to know if you really did like me like that.”    There was a long pause before Chelia answered, Wendy still wasn't looking at her.

I wonder if she's still smiling.   “I really should have brought flowers or something?” Wendy's eyes flickered back to the other girl's face.   “I’m sorry Wendy, I should have thought of something more romantic than a coffee shop and a walk in the snow." Now Chelia was the one blushing. Wendy couldn't help but notice how she really does like a red rose.

"I was just in such a rush to find something to do since I found out we'd be coming to Magnolia. It was so sudden so at that point I didn't care what we did as long as it was with you." 

Well that confirms her feeling for Wendy.

Wendy didn't pull away when Chelia linked their hands together this time, listening to her actions instead of her words.

The two girls walked in silence for some time, admiring all the lights floating above them. At some point, they passed a flower shop with red, pink, purple and white roses on display. Chelia bends down and picked the purple one out of its pot.  Chelia handed Wendy the flower, "I'll try to remember that my girlfriend can be a bit oblivious at times."

"First of all, I am not. Second, the shop owner is coming up to us and he looks pretty mad that you just ripped out one of his flowers"

[mrneighbourlove]

Burnt Heart: Ch 2. Trust Thunderstruck

Many years had passed, and the Kikai Empire's power had never been higher. Under Zannah's rule, she had obtained four different islands, and the unclaimed tip of a land from another continent. Her people had spread like wildfire after interbreeding with colonialized races into the Empire. The baby boom was high for Hasai birthrates, and she couldn't be more overjoyed. Her citizens were almost fanatically devoted to her, working hard to fit and find a place in the gears of her well-oiled Empire. The Waku in particular, while young, were growing in secret exactly to her design. Most grew up being completely loyal to the Empire. However, there was always resistance, and with her reach so far, there was bound to eventually be a loose gap in her defenses.

Flying on a Wyvern, a Waku, descended from his Dal mother and Emperor Zannah's vision, grew angry with their life. They grew complacent training to be a fighter for the Empire. Most of all, they grew resentful that they never grew up with the love and care of a father.

It started a cold trial from her ignorant mother, which lead her to the heart of the Empire. There, she secured the name of the first Waku. A man of great renown known as Kahli. She needed to find this man, and she knew that word would travel to ears belonging to agents of the Empire quickly that she escaped from her mother's watchful eye. Maybe the agents weren't fast enough, or maybe they didn't catch on at all, but she found herself flying into the borders of Hyrule. Her Wyvern only slightly bigger than a horse, starting to fly closer to the earth. Grievous would find this man and make him answer dearly to their questions.  

Kahli had volunteered to take the exports to the docks so Zizi could have a day to prepare for Manaco's upcoming birthday. He was a man now, and had completed his first trial of manhood. Her son had purchased a plot of land for his family one day. Now, he was in the process of finishing his house. So, to celebrate the occasion, Zizi was baking his favorite dessert; strawberry cake. No matter how tough her son acted, he still had a weakness for the sweet, tasting fruit. When Kahli returned, the two of them would go over to Manaco's new place with the cake. She was in the middle of spreading the whipped cream over the cake when she heard a knock at the door. Glancing at the clock, Zizi thought it was odd. Kahli was not due home for another couple of hours. Who was visiting?

Opening the front door, Zizi was surprised to see... someone new.

"Yes? May I help you?"

"Where is he woman?" Grievous had white war paint on her face, giving her the impression of a skull. Yellow eyes and red skin were the norm for any Waku, yet due to her Dal heritage, a primate tail was flicking back and forth angerly. Her hair was bountiful, parting more backwards due to a war helmet she wore. Honestly, due to the massive amount of protection in Hyrule, most would find it ill advised to threaten someone so openly in public, but not this girl. "Where is the man known as Kahli? Show yourself you coward!"

"... okay, I've been through this before." Zizi had a very unimpressed look on her face. "Look, everyone wants to fight my husband, or has wanted to kill him at some point. So, what is it? What could he have possibly done this time in the past? I'm in the middle of baking a cake for my son and you're interrupting. Kahli is not here, so go ahead and leave or else I will just launch you off my doorstep myself."

Grievous shot a streak of fire at one of the flowers that Kahli gardened for her.  "I have no quarrel with you woman. Are you his servant perhaps? I will ask only once more before I tear this house apart to drag him out into the streets. Show yourself! You dare call yourself Father to the Waku?!"

Zizi was old. Zizi was tired. Zizi was the earth sage. She had patience and kindness in her heart. But right now? Zizi was very annoyed. This was going to end very quickly. The Zemlja did not even have to move. Her magic was advanced far beyond what was normally expected due to her sudden status as earth sage. She did not desire the title, but it was entrusted to her. Most of the time, she did not have to use such harsh magic.

The earth suddenly opened and swallowed the stranger up to her neck. It hardened and kept her in place. There would be no way she'd be able to move.

"I. Am. His. Wife." Zizi bent down to look the young girl in the eye. "You mess with him, you mess with me."

"Let me go! Or my mighty mount will rip you to shreds."

To Zizi, the Wyvern might as well be a house cat compared to the dragons she knew from her homeland. At first it looked surprised at its owner being trapped under the earth. Next it spread its wings wide, baring its teeth. With one leg kicking the dirt, it looked as though it was either ready to charge head first with its horns, or snap at Zizi. "That man owes me! You will not deny me my hunt for him! I've come too far!"

Zizi merely whistled and from there, three enormous Lorleidian dragons arrived outside her house. Ari'phompha was one, glaring down at the little Wyvern. The earth dragon was older than the rest of the group, but still able to fight. She snorted loudly and tapped her claws.

"You won't win this battle, young one. I suggest you back off." Ari'phompha warned the Wyvern. "You shall not harm our friend."

"Kahli owes you nothing." Zizi poked the girl's head. "Why don't you calm your temper and tell me what this is all about or else, I'll have my friends escort you away."

"Fight for friend. N-not scared of you." The little Wyvern growled back at the much more powerful and far bigger dragons. He couldn't shoot any type of energy from his mouth, and had no arms to fight with, but he had his spunk.

Grievous nearly let her age get the better of her and almost was on the verge of crying. "That bastard is my father! A father I never knew! Release me vile earth witch!"

It was as if the world stopped. Time stopped. Everything came to a screeching halt.

"...!!! WHAT?!" Zizi shouted so loud that even the dragons winced at her volume. "YOU LIE!!!" She pulled the girl out of the ground by the collar and held her there. "He is MY husband! He would never cheat on me! The bond prevents him from doing so!"

The Waku was currently still too weak from the earth having gripped her like a vice to fight back physically, but the fire in her eyes didn't mean she would stop trying to express her fury. "Look into my eyes! I am Waku! The one known as Kahli is the only one who can be my father! I am one of hundreds!"

"Hu... hundreds?" Zizi felt her heart sink into her gut. Her eyes. None of the Hasai had eyes like that except for Kahli. It couldn't be true! It just couldn't! Kahli wouldn't hurt her like this, wouldn't hurt their family like this... would he? "How? How can this be possible? Kahli said... the bond..."

"I took so long to pry the information from my mother, but eventually she caved. She said she was given the honour of being a donor for the Empire." Her tail had enough strength slap at Zizi's hand. Catching her landing, Grievous' scowl deepened. "I was disgusted by this revelation. All my friends and allies had fathers they knew. Father's they loved. I never did. What more, I was born a freak, one of hundreds from a test tube." The last two words held undeniable malice in her voice, the seriousness of the matter dripping from every word.

Zizi's knees buckled and she hit the ground hard. The Zemlja was in shock. The girl had no reason to lie. There was evidence enough by her appearance. Judging by the girl's age, this happened years ago. This was a plan of Zannah's and Kahli was her pawn. She was angry and hurt by Zannah using her husband for personal gain, but also at Kahli for allowing Zannah to use him. There was no way Kahli would be manipulated so easily. Zannah had to have something on him. Yet still... did he even try to fight this? Hundreds... hundreds of them... so this was not just a one-time occurrence. Zannah had been doing this experiment of hers for a long while now.

"I... didn't know..." Zizi's voice was so soft, the dragons barely heard her.  

Grievous leaned down to grab Zizi by the collar. Clearly, she had not known, but she still needed answers out of this little woman. "Where is he?"

Kahli had been making his way back from work early. He worked extra hard to come back home to his wife as to help her prepare in celebration for their son's birthday. Manaco was a bright man, and his father was so proud of all his accomplishments. He arrived with a crate of fresh milk he loved, hoping to have time to wrap it in paper. What he saw next shattered any and all current plans.

In his house was a Waku girl. He wasn't a fool. Kahli knew what this meant. This was the end to his longest and darkest kept secret. When he saw this girl grab his wife by the collar, however, Kahli snapped into action. Swiftly leaping into action, he grabbed her by the scruff of her neck, throwing her back off his wife.

"---!!! You---!!!"

She didn't get to finish her surprise as Kahli brought his palm forward, breaking her nose. With the next strike, he delivered a swift kick to her chest, sending her rolling backwards down his front steps and onto the dirt road. "Leave my house. And never return. You bring danger to us all by coming here. I don't know you, and you don't know me. Try anything other than leaving, and I will turn you into ash." Kahli was dark, cold, and unkind in his words to this girl. Before she could answer back, he shut the door on her. Might have a minute or two as she got the wind back in her sails to check on his wife. Carefully, Kahli turned to Zizi, feeling the weight of his sins crawl down his back and sit on his chest as his hands carefully rested on her shoulders. "Zizi… did she hurt you?"

Zizi was still processing what just happened. A girl, no... Kahli's daughter had shown up on the doorstep. He had a part in this. He had to be willing. What was she thinking? Kahli always ran to Zannah like a lost puppy whenever she called. He missed birthdays and holidays. He'd leave suddenly and then return. When did she go so blindly in love that she refused to see it anymore? Kahli's loyalty was never to her, it was to Zannah. Any order the Empress gave, he'd carry out in a heartbeat. All those years ago when the two of them visited with Malik and Asakoniegei, he had even gone so far as to defend Zannah's actions. The Zemlja tried her hardest to find a way to rationalize an excuse, but... she could not find one. It was a soul-crushing sensation which now weighed on her. Good spirits, what would her children think? Not only was she heartbroken over this revelation, but her babies... oh, sweet spirits, they would never look at Kahli the same again. Her family would never be the same again...

"No... she didn't." Zizi then looked up at him with absolute rage in her eyes. "But you're going to hurt."

With a massive blast of magical energy, Zizi shot Kahli through the front door, across the flower garden, and slammed him into the statue in the middle of the fountain.

Grievous was rising from the ground, finally catching her breath, when Kahli was sent flying outwards. His foot caught her in the head, cutting her temple and sending her crashing back into the ground.

Kahli didn't fight back as Zizi raised her hands to rocket him away. He knew that he deserved her anger, her hatred. The door was hard enough against his back to smash through, and he didn't know what he hit on the way to the statue, but upon crashing into it, he suffered six broken ribs upon impact, as well as his left arm snapped in two. With awful breathing, he took on water as he tried to keep his head a float.

"You... how could you?!?!" Zizi tromped out of the house, her anger causing prickly thorns and massive vines to rise from the ground. The magic swirled violently around her being, green sparks shooting through the air. This was the first time that Kahli would ever sense such rage from his wife. "I gave you my heart and my soul! A family, a home, I saved you and loved you and this is how you repay me?!"

Kahli took a solid minute to pick himself up from the fountain, only able to lean his body on the outer ring. "I didn't stop loving you. I provided for our family. I understand your anger... but this? I've never... struck any of you."

"You think that is an excuse for your infidelity?!" Zizi nearly shrieked at him. "That is your fucking daughter that showed up on my doorstep! And by the looks of it, she's fully grown! That, and she told me she has hundreds of brothers and sisters?!" She then told him, "Hit you!? You're lucky that I don't castrate you!!! You liar! You cheater!"

"I NEVER FUCKED ANYONE!" For that yell, Kahli's felt a bile of iron rise up his throat and trickle out his mouth. "Zizi… gods. It's complicated. But she's not my daughter."

"I don't care if you fucked a cow! That is your daughter! There's no denying those eyes, Kahli!" Zizi screeched. "You think I'm stupid?! I don't care how complicated it is, the bottom line is, you have other sons and daughters out there that were grown in test tubes and utilized for Zannah's benefit! After all this time, you still chose her and not me?! Not our family?! Spirits, when did I ever become so foolish to believe that one day, you'd chose us over duty to the Empire?!"

"I didn't choose jack shit. My sons and daughters are my fifteen children with you. They... they may be children, but they are not my children."

"Now you're just deluding yourself." Zizi scoffed with tears running down her face. "Don't bother coming home. You're not welcome anymore." She then wiped at her cheeks and sniffled, walking back to her house. Along the way, she saw the young girl staring at her. Whether it was awe, fear, or a mixture of both, Zizi did not know. Yet, the girl did not deserve her hatred or angry. Offering a hand, she helped her to her feet. "You, however, may come in."

Grievous looked back and forth between the two. At the invitation, she was taken aback. "Why?"

"Because you've done nothing wrong." Zizi told the girl quietly. "You don't deserve this."

Grievous looked to the bitter husk of her father seeking to pull himself out of the fountain, yet struggling to do so. Quirking an eyebrow at Zizi, she asked a question that was simply that. "What if I came all this way to kill him?"

"Wouldn't it be better to let him suffer?" Zizi's voice sounded cold. "Death might be too easy according to Waku traditions."

"Him? He's survived worse." Zizi then instructed Ari'phompha. "Take him to the healers. Leave him there and don't brign him back here." Ari'phompha carefully picked up Kahli within her large claws and flew him in the direction of the Dusa's hospital. "You have questions. I have answers. Come inside."

“No. I have questions for him and him alone. Ask them to bring him back. I’ll heal him.”

"No. You want to talk to him, you go to him." Zizi used her magic to grow a makeshift door out of the ground since she blasted off her other one. "He's not coming back in here. If you want to go talk to him, he's that way."

“Do you not have same questions I do?”

"He lied to me. I no longer trust his words." Zizi was trying to keep her voice from trembling. "I don't care for answers."

“I do. I will never get close to him again if you send him away. Please.” Grievous felt suddenly woozy, sitting down on her porch.

"... you got knocked pretty hard, didn't you?" Zizi bent down to look at the bruise on the girl's head. "Worry about yourself first. Stay right there, I'll get you some ice." Within a few moments, she returned with a bag of ice and handed it to the daughter of Kahli. "Keep it against your forehead."

“What is this?”

"It's an ice pack. To help against the sting of pain."

“What’s ice? It’s cold.” Grievous frowned, throwing the pack away. “I don’t like tricks.”

"Hey, missy!" Zizi picked up the ice pack and held it to the girl's head herself. "You're going to hold it right there to keep the area from swelling so much, whether you like it or not." She scolded her, the motherly side getting the best of her. "It's not a trick. It's ice. My sister can make it. Keep it there until I find the kit, are we clear?"

Grievous rose her hands, ready to punch, yet slowly started to calm down as the ice eased her head. “I don’t have ‘ice’ where I live... I will stay if you feed me and Sylvain.”

"... you're lucky that I'm known to feed just about anyone." Zizi helped the girl to her feet and steadied her as she walked inside the house. "And your name again?"

“Grievous. It’s a Dal name.” She frowned, her anger suddenly starting to melt the ice into water.

"Grievous. Mind if I call you Grivy for short?" Zizi then placed a plate full of leftovers in front of the young girl. "Baked honey salmon, grilled asparagus, and cream corn. Eat up, sweetheart. You've traveled a long way."

“That’s not very serious...” The teenager didn’t push her nickname further though. Being offered salmon she tried to not let her mouth water. “Fish please. Do you have a bathroom with a mirror?”

"My name is Zizi, that's about as far as serious as you can get." She instructed, "Down the hall, to the left. It's the blue door. You can't miss it. Don't take too long, your food will get cold."

Grievous made her way to the bathroom per instruction. Quickly grabbing a towel, she cleaned up the blood that had trickled down her face.  Once she stopped the blood trial, using only a finger, she burned her wound shut with a searing fire. Even she was not able to keep herself from screaming profoundly.

The scream caught her off guard. Zizi rushed to the bathroom to find the door lock.

"Hey young lady! You open this door, right now! What's wrong?! Don't make me take it down!"

She finished yelling in her own language, finally calming down. “I’m fine. Just cleaning up the wound.” Opening up a pouch she carried at her side, the girl reapplied her war paint. Needed to keep up appearances in unknown territory. Be scary before being nice.

Since Zizi was a Zemlja, she simply swung open the wood door with her magic.

"You're going to get it infected."

“I know what I’m doing. Burned it close.”

"And it can still get infected, goodness, why did you put that paint back on your face?" Zizi took a rag from the cabinet and soaked it with warm water. She also pulled out a jar of aloe and medical herbs to use as a paste over the wound area. "There's no going to war around here, no one will harm you. You're completely safe---stop squirming. You're worse than Manaco when he was little. This might sting a little." After she had removed a good portion of the paint, she applied the paste. "There. Now it will heal twice as fast and keep bacteria out."

Her face was a fine light red, with brown rustled hair all over. She struggled at first of course, but eventually simply froze as Zizi went to work on her. Her tail smacked the woman as she applied the paste. “That hurts. And my paint is a symbol of courage and my rage.”

"... do you really think that this paint means anything around here?" Zizi placed an adhesive on top of the paste to keep it there for the rest of the day. "Look, it's peaceful here. You don't need to fight. So, come back in the kitchen, eat, and I'll answer what I can and you answer what you can. Sound fair?"

“I wear it for my preparation with Kahli. It’s... its part of my heritage as a Dal.” She sulked, sadly applying more paint. She wanted to cover her fear and insecurities. “It gives me a mask of protection. I’ll join you soon.”

"... then only on half of your face, away from the bandage. Or I'm cleaning it off again." Zizi returned to the kitchen and sat down with a hard thump on her chair. She sighed, her shoulders sagging as she ran a hand back through her hair. This was never going to go away... there were more children of Kahli's out there. Hundreds more... she wanted to yell and scream and cry... but what good would it do?

When Grievous returned to the kitchen to take her seat, half of her face was appeared tame, docile even. With no paint, she had small scratches on her face, but was rather petite. On the other half she tried to detail the terror in the skull factor. “Is Sylvain being fed?”

"I asked the other dragons to take Sylvain to the stable." Zizi tapped the side of the head. "We have a mental link, so we don't need to talk face to face like this. Sylvain is gorging on fish and dried jerky."

“Good.” The Waku leaned forward over the table, even her unpainted side pulling off a mean look. “Who exactly is my father? Don’t think of today. What kind of man is he that you know of him?”

"Kahli... he's..." Zizi was not expecting such a question. She took a breath to steady her nerves. Even though she tried to keep her voice from shaking, it was difficult. "I-I... I met Kahli over 25 years ago in one of my greenhouses. That day, he was hurt and running from enemies. I helped him and... he's been at my side ever since. He's a great father and does his best to look after everyone he cares about. He works very hard on the plantations and provides for many people with his job. Despite having harsh beginnings with my brother-in-law, he has done his best to mend that relationship." She swallowed thickly, blinking back tears. "He always said he loved me, but... I can't trust him anymore. He... he cares more about following orders than he does his family and I was a fool not to see it sooner." Zizi took a napkin and wiped at her cheeks. "Sorry, I... this is a lot to take in."

“Following orders is the way of a Hasai. It’s like this mental string.” She tapped at her own forehead. Stopping, she studied this sad woman. “How much did he love you? Your family? Was he a good man?”

"Kahli loved me enough to stay here in Hyrule. To give me a family, to help raise his family, to protect his family... nearly panicked when I hemorrhaged giving birth to our triplets. To leave his life of duty for the Empire behind... so I thought." Zizi looked so... so defeated. She felt like she had not only lost her husband, but her whole foundation of trust. "He... he is a good man... was a good man... but... I just can't trust him after this." She told her, "Grivy, Lorleidians feel a pull of magic to their soulmate. It's not based on attraction or lust, it's just... you look at that person and you can't imagine life without them. It's rare, but it happens with Lorleidians. It happened with me." The Zemlja then said, "But when trust is broken... when secrets are kept... it brings nothing but pain. And some wounds just never heal."

“How many children do you have with him? Who are the offspring more important than I?”

"More important?" Zizi placed a hand on Grivy's shoulder. "You are no more or no less important than my children. Everyone has worth." She then added, "And to answer your question... I have fifteen children. Five sons and ten daughters."

“But I wasn’t good enough for him, now was I.” Grievous took a bite from the food presented to her. Was lukewarm by this point. “They probably are perfect. His hand-crafted biological children.”

"I don't know the whole story, Grivy, so I'm a bit in the dark too. Though Kahli kept this secret from me, he shouldn't be cruel to you either." Zizi sighed and then told the girl. "I love my children, but all of them have their flaws. Manaco is too impatient like his father. Ahusaka is a perfectionist. Keira hates last minute surprises... I could go on. But I do know he loves them."

“I’m one of 660 clones more or less. I’m supposed to be raised as a soldier for the Grand army of the Kikai Empire... they sound like people who received individual care.”

"... it figures Zannah was trying to formulate a plan to increase her army. She's obsessed with power." Zizi felt her temper flare, cause the table to begin to sprout thorns. "That... that bitch manipulating my husband..."

The girl rested her fork on the table, silent for a long time. “The Emperor is God to the Hasai. To oppose her will is nigh impossible. I like to fight, I like adventure, but to be an iron clad soldier? I wanted my personal freedom. To be a warrior for my own battles. I’m one of the only Waku to think this way though. I might be the only one.”

"She's a damn mortal, don't believe her lies. If she bleeds, she can die. The true immortals are in the heavens. To try to copy their design is blasphemy." Zizi told Grivy firmly. "She might be the ruler of the Hasai Empire, but she's just that. Another ass on a throne. To treat her own people as nothing more than pawns for her benefit is abuse." She held Grivy's hand. "Even if you are the only one who thinks this way, you are allowed to think this way. You are your own person. You decide what you want. Not someone else." Zizi took a breath and then added, "And until you decide what you want for your life, you are welcome to stay here."

Grievous didn’t know what to think at first to that. While formulating an answer, her attention was grasped by something. Grabbing a knife, she hid behind a couch. “Someone is coming. Hide.”

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait just a minute, that's probably just one of my kids!!!" Zizi hurried after Grivy. "They all know how to get into the---"

"Mom?" Keira walked in, seeing her mother hovering over a stranger. "... what are you doing?"

“You can’t take me back!” All Grievous saw was another Waku ready to take her to the Empire. With a roar like a panther she leapt to pin Keira.

"WAIT!" Zizi grasped Grievous by the tail and ended up sailing forward with the stranger. It was the maternal instinct to protect her own child, but the forethought of not harming Grivy either. Keira yelped and managed to jump out of the way. Yet the tail grab resulted in Grivy and Zizi both ending up on the floor. Zizi fell on top of Grivy, and Grivy's face met the floor. Muffled by the girl's back, Zizi grumbled, "I said to wait. Some of my kids live here too besides me, you know. I'm not that old."

"Uh... Mom? Are you okay?" Keria helped her mother to her feet as well as the stranger. She then sniffed Grievous and looked perplexed. "You smell... familiar. Have we met?"

"... sweetie... let's just say you're in for a long story." Zizi told her daughter with a sigh. "And your dad is in the doghouse."

Grievous gave out a shrill scream as her tail was yanked, not exactly thrilled to eat the floor again. Getting up, she locked eyes with Keira, slowly backing away. This woman was much older. She must have been a threat.  

"What did Dad do this time?" Keira thought it was one of the usual nuisances that made her mother mad. "Did he eat all your ingredients for a strawberry cake again?"

"No, he..." Zizi had to swallow her emotions again. "Keira. This is Grievous. Your sister."

"...? Huh?" Keira really looked confused now. "Sister? But... how can that be? The bond prevents Dad from---"

"Zannah made him give... donations from what Grivy told me."

"...?!?! What?! But she's... that had to be years ago!"

"I know. And he didn't tell me or anyone else."

Grievous stepped away from Keira a little further. “Are you the eldest daughter of Kahli?”

"I am..." Keira was still processing the situation. Her father had other children out there. Exactly how many? Why did he let this happen? Oh, spirits, how was Manaco going to take this? This was... was bad. Very bad. "I have nine sisters and five brothers. I... um..." She was more like Zizi in the sense of viewing this was not Grivy's fault. The newcomer did not ask to be placed in this situation. "I guess... it's not too bad to have another sister. We already outnumber the boys, so... that's a good thing." She then paused and thought for a moment before asking. "What did Dad think of this?"

"I don't care what he thinks," Zizi returned to her seat at the dining table. "I put him in the hospital so he's going to stay there for a little while."

"The hospital?! Mom, what did you do?"

"What do you think I did?" Zizi retorted as if it was obvious. "I kicked his ass for lying to me."

"... I don't know what to say." Now, Keira really appeared to be shocked. Her mother did not have a violent bone in her body. She hardly ever raised her voice even, but here, she was admitting to attacking her dad?! "Is he... dead?"

"No, he's not dead, but he's going to wish he was if he comes crawling back here." Zizi told her daughter. "If you go to see him, he's not welcome here anymore. He can stay with Manaco if he wishes."

"... you're not going to talk to him?"

"Not right now. I lashed out... and you know a Zemlja can be deadly if we wish it so."

"I know, Mom... I just... I can't believe Dad did such a thing."

"You know how many times Zannah called him and he followed like a puppy."

“No one can defy the will of the Emperor.” Grievous immediately reflected, knowing the hypocrisy of that statement. “Not for long...” Looking back to Keira, the teenager started to tiptoe around her. “You are the eldest of our generation then. Chief female... you look soft.”

"The Emperor can kiss my shiny brown ass."

"Mom!"

"I was a good friend to her, Keira, you know it, and she was laughing behind my back all this time."

"We'll figure this out eventually." Keira then jolted when Grievous started to circle her, as a predator would a prey. "Soft? I... um... is that a compliment or an insult? I assure you, I can fight, Dad taught me how. I'm a Vatra, though Urboro and Miku are both Zemljas."

“Vatra?” Grievous was nearly to the door, still eying Keira like the older woman was going to snap her in two.

"I use fire. Mom uses earth." Keria explained to Grievous with a smile. "It's a Lorleidian trait! Come, I'll show you what I mean." And, like Zizi, Keira was the bubbliest of her siblings. She also had that sixth sense about others. While Keira could tell that Grivy was hurt, confused, and angry, she was also afraid. That had to be redeemed. She simply took Grievous' hand and walked out the front door. "Mom, I'll be back with Grivy in a bit, I'm going to show her the community. Then, she won't be too afraid."

"Very well, make sure you don't stay out too late. Your younger siblings will be home from school soon enough, and you promised to take them dragon riding today." Zizi was starting to thank the spirits for everyday normalcy. At least it kept her mind off this... this betrayal. "And don't tell them about your father. I'll explain it to them myself later."

"As you say."

Grievous was shocked, being so quickly pulled along. “Where are you taking me? I am not afraid.”

"To the plantations! Every single type of Lorleidian works there, as well as some Hylians, Gorons, Moblins, Goblins, a few Hasai, and even dragons!" Keira knew she had to make the best of the situation. While her mother was hurting, and she herself was upset, she had to remain strong. Not only for her mother, but for her siblings too. "I'll introduce you and you can see how we work."

“You said you’d show me your fire.” Grievous had enough, pulling away to stand her ground. “I see no strategy in getting to see your plantation.”

"I figured you'd want to meet a few more of your siblings and see our close knit community." Keira shrugged her shoulders. "It'd be fun. We can always stop by the Lon-Lon Ranch for ice cream! They just introduced a new flavor called blackberry lemonade! I can't wait to try it!" She then added, "But my fire isn't like my father's fire... well, not exactly." She held out her hand and a flame flickered to life in her palm. "Since I'm half Lorleidian, my magic is a little more stable."

“I... no. No! I did come here to meet a family I do not know.” The teenager felt dreadfully confused, knowing she was losing track of her purpose. She pointed her finger at Keira’s flame. “And do all of you lack passion in your flame?”

"Why not? They'd want to meet you." Keira told Grivy honestly, having no reason to lie. "That's how Lorleidians are. We take care of our own and those we call family and friends." She glanced at her flame and then back at Grivy. "Passion? Oh, I can do a lot more than this, I just didn't want to show off. My brothers do that enough."

“You are not proud of your fire? You are not proud of the flame that burns within? I am Grievous! Waku of Hasai and Dal combined.” The teenager felt her time was being wasted with her half-sister. She wanted her to see with her own eyes that this younger woman could be taken seriously. With each hand, Grievous lit a blazing bone fire in each hand. In the right, a green flame. The left, a blue flame. With a little dance, she brought both hands together to fire lightning into the air, making an explosion of fireworks of blue and green. “Look and feel my passion. You will take me seriously, or you can step down as eldest to Kahli. I do not care for your cream made of ice. I will not be tricked. Now I demand you reply in kind.”

"Goodness, you don't know how to just... chill, do you? Or even have fun?" Keira felt sorry for the girl. Knowing Zannah, this half-sister of hers was raised to be nothing but a solider. "You don't get it, do you? Rank? Being the best? That's not what gets attention here. What gets attention here isn't passion or fighting or even having the most power. Here, we simply love each other for who we what. Not what we can do." Keira gently took Grivy's hands, and then closed her eyes. There was suddenly a ring of fire surrounding them and circled higher and higher, toward the sky. The two of them were standing inside a vortex of flames. She then opened her eyes, glowing a soft yellow. "I have passion, like you asked. Though here, there's no need to use such unless we are protecting who we love."

Grievous looked up, her yellow eyes wide with wonder. She didn’t look away for a moment, wanting to capture it in her mind forever. “Passion is not tied to battle. Or ranks. It’s not wanting to be the best. Passion is wanting to do your best. Passion is being the most serious about your abilities and drive. Passion is your art form. Keira. You have a dazzling fire. I truly believe you are my blood.”

Slowly, the vortex started to sink to the ground and disappear.

"Then I have plenty of passion. Though, I'm more like my mother in the sense of fighting; I don't like to fight unless I have to." Keira explained to Grievous. "You shouldn't have to fight unless you want to as well. You're not a pawn, you're just you. You're special just the way you are." She then sighed and said, "And I'm really sorry for... well... all of this. I had no idea. My mother didn't either. I think... we're all pawns in Zannah's game somehow. But now, that you're here, you can stay with us for a while if you don't want to return to the Empire."

“In my experience, to fight is to battle. To battle is to throw your all into a cause. The Empire is highly restrictive on who you can battle against. It is not my own battles I fight for, but the Empires. That is why I risked deserting my platoon. It is why I came here, to seek answers on my bloodline. I seek to battle our father if we must.” The teenager examined Keira up and down, wondering if she could take her in a skirmish. “Do you like to spar? Still an activity of strength, yet does not have the same stress of battle? How about to fish or hunt wild game?”

"Oh, my siblings and I spar almost everyday. I'm not big on fishing, cause ew, worms. But I do go hunting." Keira told Grivy with a grin. "Dad insists, but I'm curious. Why do you want to fight my---I mean, our father?"

“I want him to feel the sting of defeat. He is a legendary whisper amongst the Waku. I wish to test if he’s a legend, or merely a whisper.” Grievous squeezed her right hand into a righteous fist. “I would make him proven wrong to look down on me.”

"Uh... how did he do that?" Keira wanted clarification. "Look down on you? Wait, did he come to like... see you, years ago or something? Or no? Sorry, I don't have all the details."

“He must have. We’ve never met him. Some of us never had any father figures. He claimed we are not his children. Yet he had love for you, didn’t he? What makes you so different?” The look Grievous gave Keira was burn in her eyes. There was a great hatred, but also a terrible pain.

"... my mother." Keira admitted to Grievous with a small frown. "His love for my mother makes him love me since I am part of her. But... even though I love my father, he shouldn't deny you just to try to appease my mother. That's not right."

Grievous kicked the dirt, turning her back on Keira. “Her? That little woman? What’s so great about her? The fact she can nearly obliterated him in one magical torrent, while I am thrown out like trash in my first interaction with the man?”

"... the fact that she loved him when no one else would." Keira said very softly. "Dad didn't have... the greatest of upbringings. He has his faults and flaws, though... Mom saw past that and chose to love the man. Not the Hasai."

“What is so wrong with being Hasai?” The tone Grievous spoke was not one of being offended, but in fact as if she knew the answer. “Is he a good father to you?”

"... I think you know, Grivy. You see how Zannah treats you, what she did to our Dad." Keira then nodded her head. "He was very good to me. Never laid a hand on me. Taught me right from wrong. To try to see the good in others even though we might not care for them. And to always be there for each other. He wanted a family because he never had one growing up where he felt loved."

The Waku’s tail wagged aggressively about, not liking the story of hearing Kahli be so loved, and loving in return. “I don’t belong with the rest of you then.”

"Why not? What makes you so sure?" Keira used logic. "Dad thought he didn't have a place here. Mom proved him wrong."

“You think I can prove Kahli wrong? He broke my nose!” She pointed at her still bruised face.

"... my aunt proved her husband wrong. He broke her ribs and she busted his nose." Keira pulled Grivy in for a hug. "And so what if you can't prove him wrong? You proved me right. Wait, that came out... feh, you know what I mean."

When Grievous was hugged, she heated up with the force of a radiator. “What is this? Pity? You hug me because you’re older and feel sad for me?”

"No, I hug you cause well... you look like you've never been hugged. Like a real hug." The heat did not bother Keira. She could absorb it and store the magic later. "Why would I feel sorry for you? You're obvious still here. You didn't give up."

“I don’t know what to make of you.” Grievous broke free from the hug, opting to sit on a park bench. “I’ve decided to wait here for Kahli. I care not for your ice flavoured cream.”

"Good, I like to keep people guessing." Keira then asked. "Are you sure? I was going to introduce you to your other brothers and sisters."

“No. I don’t want to meet them. I don’t care about you. I don’t care about any other children. I just want to fight Kahli and force him to answer all my burning questions. Now go away.” Grievous closed her eyes tightly, trying to push her growing frustrations away.

"... if you need a familiar face, I'll be in Greenhouse #9." Keira decided not to push Grivy further and headed in the right direction for work.

________________________________________________________________

Previous Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/610964435241140224/burnt-heart-ch-1-the-emperors-will

Next Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/611455983362949120/burnt-heart-ch-3-breach-of-trust

Crossover with @ridersoftheapocalypse. 

[transmuted-treasure]

Merrigan my beloved... 

[bittersculs-blog]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

date: June 16, 2019 - night of a full moon 

summary: In which Cait’s magic takes a turn under the light of a full Strawberry Moon, and Something dark crawls into her mind and her magic. ALSO KNOWN AS: reasons not to fuck with dark magic, kids! 

tw: injury, blood 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The Strawberry Moon climbed the sky, its pink light shrouding the world in rose. And Caitlin woke in delirious pain.

She couldn’t breathe, as the burning ran up and down her body, sinking deep into every bone. She was lying on a bed of coals and the air swam in front of her, thick as water. She gasped, choked and grabbed her own throat, feeling the fire inside it. Her nails tore at her flesh. She needed to scoop the fire, hot as a dragon’s breath, out. She needed to let it bleed from her.

There was a pink moon in the sky. A Strawberry Moon. It wasn’t her father’s tribe that had named it such, but it was him that told her what the Algonquin’s called it. It was the her mother who’d told her what that meant for her magic, even when Cait was too young to understand what her magic was. ‘The moon is a door, Caitlin,’ She’d say. 

Decades later, under the light of that very moon, Cait tried to scream. She tried to move. But her room was silent, her body frozen. The runes she’d placed on her body burned. The fire would wreck her in this bed and there was nothing she could do.

The black magic was going to rip right through her.

No—she tried to fight it back, though she could feel it battering at the walls of her rib cage, could feel its thick, darkness unfurling from her flimsy heart. No—I will not be a slave to you.

She opened her mouth and tried to scream.

She heard her mouth move with Its words before she passed out again.

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“The moon is a door, Caitlin.” Her mother says. “There is no other moon so universally beneficial a full moon. It’s the moon which begins the fading of the veils between the three worlds, until the veils are like smoke - to be waved away with a hand. “ 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

When Caitlin woke next, she found herself on the floor, covers still tangled around her legs. She’d rolled off her own bed. She was still herself, though, and that was what mattered—she could see through the haze of the pain her human hands, her human fingernails, the bits of dirt underneath them.

The pain licked up and down her spine; the magic coursed viciously through her body. The sigils burned on her and no longer felt like binding barriers.

She only had so much time.

Caitlin kicked with trembling legs at the covers still wrapped like mummy bandages around her body. She crawled to the chair at her desk and gripped at the chair leg with her sweaty hand. The wood began to glow red; she was going to set it on fire if she didn’t move it. She grabbed higher, pulled herself up, grabbed at the curved back of the chair until her feet were flat against the wood floor.

Cait took a shaky step, then another, and then she stumbled with the inertia of the pain out the door of her bedroom. The whole world spun around her.

She was going to die. She was going to die. She was going to die.

And then this thing inside her was going to kill everyone.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Miss Godfrey, what have you done?”

She stands in the corridor, only thirteen, but she doesn’t look at the older witch. 

“This is dark magic.” He says. 

“No it isn’t.”

“It’s playing with the rules of life!” 

“I built a channel with my magic—a loop—and the energy is transmuted through the loop, nothing is lost and nothing is gained—“ she begins to explain.

“Something is always lost,” he snips at her. “Destroy these at once.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

There was magic to do– magic that would help her.

Cait clung to this thought, as she stumbled her way toward her kitchen. She hit wall after wall, each impact another shock, rattling up her already-rattled insides. But if she could get to her cabinet—if she could get to her potions—her concoctions and experiments —if she could, in enough time, burn another rune on her body to keep the thing inside— maybe. She already had so many, running up and down her arms and down her back and over her ribcage — always the long sleeves - but maybe another —

Magic never failed her before. Even in the darkest of her hours, even when her magic had turned a foul green, it had only ever been to protect her. Her magic was her friend when no one else was.

She just needed her kitchen and her box of tools. She could live.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“You’re just scared of what I can do.” “And you should be too, Miss Godfrey.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Outside her kitchen window, New York’s heart kept beating as it met the first of summer. Caitlin body-slammed her counter and then threw up ash and acid into the sink.

The Strawberry moon’s ancient glow shed light through the window, just enough for her to see the pale pallor of her hand, gripping hard at the edge of the counter. Her vomit sizzled away in the sink, eating through the metal. Smoke rose and curled around Caitlin’s panting form.

But you know, she felt a little bit better.

Cait leaned her head against her arm and for a moment, she was so tired, so dizzy. All she wanted to do was collapse onto the ground and give up. But this wave of peace was temporary. She could already feel the next wave building, and it would bring a torrent of fresh fire, and another round of convulsions.  

She reached down into her stomach for her magic. “Help me,” she whispered and then let it burst out of her like a firework.

Every single drawer and door  sprang open. The kitchen faucet turned on—the stove too—utensils clattering off their hooks, silverware springing from their beds. She heard a smash, and then another smash, and then another, as her plates and cups catapulted out of their shelves. 

Rude, she thought, as her own home turned against her. She tried her best to ignore it - she needed her potion of good health.

Cait lifted her head, staring around at the mess of her kitchen. She found her potions cabinet and her face fell, seeing nearly all the bottles having rolled off their shelves and shattered, too.

“No…No…”

She stepped toward all those bottles, feet crunching against glass and ceramic as she went. She didn’t feel that pain; it was nothing compared to the rest.

She fell to her knees and shifted through the mess. She found half the bottle of her potion of good health, running her finger on the edge of the label, and on one of the sharp edges.

Her finger bloomed with blood. Cait curled her hand around the broken bottle, glass crunching, and let out a sob.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

She’s a little girl with sparks in her hair, pulling her mother’s laughs from the air and hiding them away in her little jar. She tickles her to get more, and she laughs and laughs for her.

Cassandra takes Caitlin on her knee. “Promise me something,” she says to her. “No matter how brilliant you become, you will always keep a jar of laughs on your kitchen shelf. Joy is an essential ingredient to becoming who we are meant to be.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Another wave of spasms had put Cait on her back, writhing around on the broken glass. But it barely mattered. She couldn’t fight against the pain and had no way to stop it—not even a rune and all the black magic in the world would help— so she let the convulsions curl through her, until she vomited again onto the pile of broken potions.

And then Cait got up.

Or this time, it was the thing, rising from inside her.

The strange magic’s strength surged through her, she slapped a bloody hand on the counter and straightened up. She breathed hard: in and out, in and out, in and out. As her eyes closed, she heard—she swore—the steady beating of wings, as it reminded her swelling heart to keep beating.

She crunched her way out of the kitchen and then out onto the fire escape where the Strawberry Moon hung low. It was watching her; she felt it. Its light poured over her bloody form with every step she took. At first, she stepped slowly. She eased her toes onto the first, metal step. But then faster, steps more steady, and then even faster, until she was running away from her house, up the stairs, as though she could flee from her sickness.

But she was fleeing toward the moon.

The moon is a door.

This thing inside her, it gave her the strength and gave her the pain. It roared in her chest. She remembered the first time she’d felt this, exactly a month ago on the last full moon, how the fire had been just as painful as this then—how she had learned to enjoy it, enjoy this thing’s ferocity, this thing’s hunger, this thing’s desire.  It had always been a mirror of her own.

She’d remembered joy and why she loved her magic –

Her heart has never beat louder.

Cait climbed over the edge and onto the roof, fell to her knees under the light of the Strawberry Moon. Her hands pressed into the cement. She was probably going to die. And she should fight it, still, but this thing had been the best thing that had ever happened to her.

You’re just scared of what I can do.

‘Just you and me now,’ she whispered to her terrible magic.

Something inside her cracked and all that strangeness Cait had been feeling for the last month, spilled out. And the first time, that something spoke to her. She felt the runes straining on her body, like they were rope she was bound by. Now the the binds were threatening to snap. They didn’t, in the end. She felt the markings hold strong, the thing stayed inside.

There’s a stillness, then, for a while. She stays. 

After, who knows how long - some untold amount of time - something ripples through the silence like a pebble dropped. 

< Hello. > Cait hears.

‘Hello.’ She thinks to herself.

After a moment, the thing speaks up again. She can feel it, wandering around the space of her body, slithering around her veins like a snake.

< Strawberry Moon, huh? > 

She looks up. 

< You can smell it in the air, can’t you, Cait?>

She feels her body breathe in deep. ‘Yes’ she thinks when she feels her lungs expand at someone else’s command. She’s not in control of herself. The thing is driving.  

<The Strawberry Moon is one of the most dangerous of all. Do you know why?>

She knows. ‘Why.’ She thinks. 

<The moon is a door, Cait.> 

She’s always known. 

<And doors work both ways. When we open a door, we cannot always control what will slip out.> 

A beat. 

< So allow me to introduce myself>

It raises her hand and Caitlin’s fingers point at the round door in the sky.

< I’m the thing that slipped through the moon. >

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @otpsfloat!

This was a blast to write, I really hope you love it as much as I loved writing it for you! I tried t make it light, fun and silly because it's how Christmas is supposed to be ♥

Read on AO3

*****

More than words can say

When Stiles was 8, he met a very scary werewolf.

He was at Cora’s birthday party, along with other kids from their same grade at school. Cora’s elder sister, a werewolf named Laura, had been kind to them, hugging each kid gently at their arrival.

But Cora’s older brother scared the poop out of him. Derek was dressed in black, from head to toe, and his pale face was blank while he stared at the kids playing on his backyard.

For a few hours, Stiles forgot about him. However, at some moment, Stiles went in searching for a bathroom. His mom and dad were telling Mrs. Hale a funny story and Stiles didn’t want to bother them.

After finishing his business in the bathroom, Stiles heard the low humming of a different music playing, coming from upstairs. He had never heard anything like it before.

Curious to a fault, Stiles followed the song and found a door ajar at the end of the corridor.

He looked through the gap and froze. Sitting on the floor by the end of the bed, surrounded by art supplies, was Derek The Scary Werewolf.

But - he didn’t look so threatening anymore, because there was a small smile on his lips and a serene expression on his usually blank face.

Stiles must have made some noise, because Derek stopped doing whatever he was doing and looked straight at him, his face carefully devoid of any expression again.

Stiles hesitated and then as if he was entering a dragon’s lair, he stepped inside the room, walked a few steps, and promptly fell by Derek’s side. He peered over a very stiff shoulder and gasped.

On the page Derek was holding, there was a perfect copy of the house and the forest outside. It was very beautiful.

He probably said it out loud, because Derek snorted and said. “I am glad you like it. It’s not finished though.

Stiles nodded, distracted, but couldn’t stop staring at the picture. After a few minutes, when it became clear that Stiles wasn't planning on leaving, Derek asked hesitantly “Tired of the party?”

Stiles glanced at him and looked down at his hands. “I just”  - don’t like being treated as a joke - “don’t have many friends here.”

Derek nodded, considering his next words. “Would you like me to draw something for you? You could paint it here, with me”.

“YES!” Was Stiles eager response. Derek seemed surprised by his reaction, but then he got a new page and asked: “What do you want to paint?”

Stiles considered it for a second, then “A unicorn!” Derek made an unhappy face but complied.

Sometime later, his mom and Mrs. Talia showed up at the door. “Stiles, are you bothering Derek?” Said his mom reprovingly. Before he could say anything, Derek shook his head. “He is fine, Mrs. Stilinski. He is fun.”

Stiles felt happy all of a sudden. Painting by Derek’s side, listening to the music playing on his radio, was strangely soothing. He proudly showed his mom his paint. “Look what we did!”.

His mom looked at the page, which was a catastrophe of shapes and colors, smiled a fond smile at him. “It’s beautiful honey”, she said while Mrs. Hale laughed softly at the door. “We will hang on the fridge when we get home, ok?” Stiles nodded, content.

Before they left, Mrs. Hale said to Derek “We will be cutting the birthday cake soon. Bring Stiles, ok?”. Derek assented.

After a few minutes, Derek let go of his paper and pencil and stretched. “We should go back”, he said. Stiles felt strangely sad at the words as if it meant no more painting with Derek.

As if sensing the change in the mood, Derek continued “We can sing the birthday song, eat and then come back here. I can maybe draw something else for you -”

“Like a dragon?” Stiles gasped, the heavy feeling leaving his chest. Only unicorns were better than dragons, everyone knew that.

Derek looked surprised, opening and closing his mouth a few times, then he shrugged. “I can try”.

Stiles smiled a crazy smile, all white teeth. He couldn’t help it, he was so, so happy. Aside from his mom and dad, nobody had been this nice to him before. Derek looked at him with uncertainty for a moment, then got up and extended a hand towards him. “Come on”.

Stiles followed him out of the bedroom, and glanced at the mirror on the corridor wall, surprising himself by the yellow color fading from his eyes. He blinked, and it was gone.

_______________

After that, it became a common thing to see Stiles exploring the Hale house, usually after a very moody teenager. Even though Stiles always said to his dad that he was going to spend time with Cora, and there was a four-year gap between Derek and Stiles, everyone knew the truth.

Everyone but Stiles recognized the way that Derek attracted Stiles like a mock to a flame.

In one of those days, while all the Hales and the Stilinskis enjoyed a warm afternoon at the pond behind the property, Stiles sat at the dock in a way he almost never did, still and focused as if his life depended on it. And maybe it did.

His eyes were drawn to the careful way that Derek applied black polish nail to his toes. Even in this weather, Derek wore a large black t-shirt with ripped sleeves over his swim truck.

“Is it cool to use a polish nail?” Why was he asking this, of course, it was cool. Derek was doing it, wasn’t he?

He perked up at the barest hint of a smile on Derek’s pierced lip. The werewolf looked at him through his long bangs. “Do you want me to do your nails too?”

Stiles could barely contain the surge of energy at the proposal. “YES!”

All eyes glanced at them, them away, exasperated and fond. But the boys didn’t notice it.

Derek started with his bitten fingernails, and Stiles chatted animatedly about the color, and how he was a cool kid now, and how he was going to impress everyone at school on Monday.

Through all his rant, Derek worked diligently. He was the only person who never told Stiles to shut up. Not even Scott had that much patience. It warmed Stiles heart in ways he couldn’t explain yet.

_______________

Stiles was walking back from summer school when he saw a particularly dark head enter the ice cream shop. It was easy to spot Derek among every other BH citizen: his dark clothes, ripped jeans, band t-shirts, the side bangs… it all made a very compelling image. If it was on anyone else Stiles was sure the look would be ridiculous, but he suspected Derek could walk around in a dinosaur costume and still be cool as fuck.

Stiles followed him to the shop without thinking twice and was greeted with the sight of Derek sitting at a table, holding one cone of Chocolate and another one of assorted flavors for Stiles.

He immediately hurried and got hold of his delicious ice cream, sitting across from Derek. “How did you know I was coming?” Stiles asked while licking his dessert.

“I heard your heartbeat”, Derek says, shrugging. “You are not exactly quiet, pup”.

Of course, he chose the bitterest of all flavors, a chocolate so dark it didn’t even reflect the light anymore. It was devoid of any soul, just like Derek tried to pretend he was. Stiles rolled his eyes, praying for patience, then flourished his right hand. In a second, the flavor turned pink and full of different toppings.

Being a spark had its advantages sometimes.

Derek eyed his new ice cream with a resigned expression on his face, the barest hints of a pout on his lips, and Stiles could not hold back anymore, busting out a loud laugh and scaring the other customers.

“You look ridiculous holding it”, he exclaimed, giggling like a child, which he was not anymore. He was sixteen, ok? He tried to get a hold of himself, saying “You don’t have to eat it. Here” he extended his hands to grab the desert, planning on buying something else for Derek as an apology for the prank, but Derek leaned away. Without missing a beat, Derek started tasting his bright monstrosity of ice cream, eyeing Stiles the whole time with a challenge in his eyes.

Stiles gasped.

Derek smirked, the asshole. “It’s good”, he said, as if he hasn’t blown Stiles’ mind by eating the strawberry ice cream.

Swallowing, Stiles said with as much nonchalance he could muster “Your welcome.”

When they finished their deserts, Derek asked “Are you free this afternoon? Or do you have homework”

Stiles thought about it for a second, about how fortunate it was that Derek was back from college for summer vacation and how much Stiles missed him while he was away, then smiled a huge smile. “Why? Do you want to spend time with your best friend, aka Moi, the greatest person you ever met?”

Derek rolled his eyes, standing and offering a hand to Stiles. “Yes, oh great one. Want to play video games?”

Stiles' heart skipped a beat, he was so happy and couldn’t explain why. This was just the usual. But when he took hold of Derek’s hand and got up, nodding excitedly, he knew that there was no one else he would rather spend his day with.

_______________

Stiles was nervous, ok? Dying from it. Just eyeing the phone got his heart beating madly in his chest. But he sucked up and dialed the number.

“Hey pup, what’s up?” Derek’s voice came all calm and quiet, and Stiles almost died from nerves.

“Der? I - “ he stopped.

Derek waited, not mentioning how late it was, not saying anything, and that gave the courage Stiles needed to carry on. “I go to college next week, you know?”

“I know”, murmured Derek.

“And I was wondering, you know if you could give-me-a-tattoo-as-a-birthday-present?” He shrieked.

“Uh - What?”

Stiles sighed. “I want a tattoo Der. As an acceptance present.” He repeated, defeated already. There was no way Derek would accept it.

“You was accepted two months ago”, is what the asshole says.

“Then it just means that this present is long overdue, don’t you think?” Stiles said rudely and cringed, but Derek somehow knew it was just the nerves talking.

“I take the Sheriff doesn’t know, or you wouldn’t be calling me at this hour.”

“I am 18! I can make my own decisions!” Stiles paced back and forth around his childhood bedroom, biting his nails and staring at his Star Wars and Star Trek posters.

“He will kill me,” Derek murmured on the line then said louder “Meet me at the parlor in half an hour.” Then hang up.

Stiles made there in fifteen minutes and waited for Derek on the sidewalk.

Derek arrived fully clothed in a tight Pink Floyd t-shirt and light jeans, his hair pulled into a messed knot on his head, and his own tattoos showing up on his forearms. Stiles knew there were more hidden by his clothes.

They entered Derek’s tattoo parlor, the one he worked along Laura, Erika, Boyd, and Isaac, though at this time of the night it was empty. Stiles was glad for it.

Derek took him all the way to the back, to the place Stiles helped him decorate to be his own room, and motioned for Stiles to sit on the tattoo chair while he walked around, preparing his supplies. They didn’t breathe a word to each other since the phone call, and Stiles was beginning to get overtaken by his fears. Was Derek mad at him?

“Are you mad at me”, he blurted.

Derek paused, and walked over to him, putting a hand on his neck. “Of course not. Are you sure of this, Stiles?”

Stiles nodded. “You know I am.”

A single eyebrow rose, and Derek touched their foreheads, some of his stray bangs tickling Stiles’s skin. “Do I?” He smiled, and it made his piercing move, attracting Stiles’ attention to it for a second.

Stiles could smell him, and it grounded his nerves. “You also know what tattoo I want.”

That made Derek pause again, and he leaned away enough to look Stiles in the eye. Directly into his glowing yellow eyes.

He nodded once, standing up to grab his supplies and the draw of the moon cycle he had made for Stiles a couple months ago, and that Stiles promptly framed and brought back to put on the wall of the newly renovated room. For good luck , he had said with a wink.

“Where do you want it?” Derek asked.

“Here” Stiles opened the buttons of his flannel shirt and turning on his back. Derek would know what to do. And he did, after reverently touching the smooth skin of Stiles’s back.

After a while, Stiles noticed the lack of pain and a quick glance told him that Derek was using the hand steadying him to pull his pain. “Do you do this to all of your customers?” He asked, strangely invested in the answer.

Derek snorted. “What do you think? Do you often see me pulling pain from other people?” He shook his head. “There is no way I would do it. If they want to tattoo themselves so badly, that comes with the pain as well”.

Stiles didn’t know what to make of that information. “So I am special?” he murmured, staring at the black lines on Derek’s forearms.

“You know you are” Derek answered honestly. Stiles reached out and put his hands on Derek’s tight, silently conveying the gratitude he couldn’t put into words.

_______________

College was hell. Junior year was more than Hell, it was the devil incarnate himself.

Stiles came home for Christmas break with a battered soul and mind. He would have to sleep for centuries just to recover the past weeks.

Of course, that was not how real life worked. He arrived just in time to sleep and spend some time with his parents, and then the next day was the Christmas party at the Hale’s. It was tradition , and he wanted to see Derek so fucking badly. They didn’t talk as often as he would like, and he knew it was his own schedule’s fault.

He knew the tattoo parlor was going great, and that Derek had a road trip with Laura and Cora during summer, all through the girl’s social media. It was maddening.

So he wasn’t surprised when he arrived and saw that Derek had got a haircut. But he was mad for not having seen it sooner. His hair was now cut short on the side and styled at the top.

After giving his greetings to all the others (having received a huge hug from the Hale matriarch), he left his own parents talking with Derek’s dad on the highly decorated living room and followed the noise to the backyard. The scenery was breathtaking, with hanging lights all around, and tables decorated with flowers and small Christmas trees.

He found the werewolf close to the table with all the drinks, listening to an animatedly Laura and Isaac talk his ear off with God knows what this time. Derek must have heard him approach, because he suddenly got another cup, pouring a weird looking juice inside, gave Laura a kiss on the cheek, and met Stiles halfway.

He gave Stiles the drink as a greeting and smiled expectantly at him.

Stiles smiled back, sipping carefully at the drink. He immediately reared back, because that - it was alcohol! On Christmas! Hell Yeah! He sipped again, glancing at Derek. “My dad will kill you. Nice knowing you, Der.”

“Ha ha”, Derek rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t there for your booze birthday, so we are celebrating it properly today.”

“On Christmas' Eve”, Stiles exclaimed, trying for horrified but smiling too much for it.

“When else?” Derek put an arm over his shoulders and kissed the side of his head. “Welcome back, pup.”

The rest of the night was a blur. Maybe at some time, he got so drunk he thought it was funny to change Derek’s shirt to a Christmas sweater, and instead of the usual cute Santa Claus’ reindeers, they were zombies! It was awesome, especially the way the sweater hugged Derek’s torso. He might have said that out loud too.

The morning after though, not so much. His head hurt as if someone was beating a sledgehammer against it, and Stiles hated it.

“I hate it”, he said to no one in particular.

“I can see it”, Derek answered, and Stiles almost died from a fucking heart attack. “What. The. Fuck.” Stiles said, grabbing his chest to calm his crazy heart. He recognized this room. They were in Derek’s apartment, close to the preserve and to the Hale house.

Derek just smiled indulgently to him from the door. “I figured you must be hungry”. He carried a tray with breakfast, which he deposited by Stiles’ side and sat on the bed too. “I brought you here last night because it was faster, and I was kind of too drunk to drive to your house. Your parents had left too early last night. Or maybe not so early. I don’t know. We drank way too much.”

With a headache still going strong, Stiles stared through narrowed eyes at his messed hair, gray sleeveless shirt, his tattooed arms and pierced lips, and dark boxer briefs. Derek’s eyes still had the smudge of the eyeliner he had used last night, and his nails were still painted black, as always.

Stiles had never loved something as much as he loved Derek right now.

So he didn’t question it, couldn’t have stopped it if he wanted to. He just leaned forward and brushed his lips on Derek’s for a second. From this close, he could count the long eyelashes on Derek’s eyes, and he knew his own must be glowing yellow, the way they always did for Derek, and only with him.

“I missed you a fucking ton”, Stiles said, putting some space between them. “You wanted me here too, right?”

That was why he brought Stiles to his den, instead of letting him stay at the Hale house. His parents had a lot of rooms for guests up there. But no, Derek kept him close and made him breakfast. And Stiles never wanted to leave this bed. Never ever.

Derek didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. He just chased Stiles’ mouth with his own.

FIM.

[inactivesimblrr]

get to know me tag!

tagged by @literalite (thank u lamer clone!) n im not tagging anyone bc.............. every1 i think i know has already been tagged so thats calm, there r 125 questions below!

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Pat[REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED]

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? pat

3. BIRTHDAY? 23rd of nov!!!!! <3 (2001)

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? hmhmhnnnn,,,,, lotr, the hobbit, harry potter, anything from the grishaverse,,, idk man i like books a lot,,, the raven cycle,,, hnmgmg,,

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? aliens 100% i believe in them! ghosts? i mean... i half kind of do half dont but my kind of ghost aint the same as the usual idea of a ghost yanno? mine r nicer <3

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? leigh bardugo, tolkien, i would say j.k rowling but shes trash! her books r good tho ://

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? ??? idk so im gon pretend this means podcast and in that case im listening to the black tapes rn! 

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? matcha or strawberry!!!!!!

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? thats swag (i began using it ironically but now i cant stop)

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? uhhh eve or the wonderful world by mark joshua! orrr shiloh by little chief!! 

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? grinned

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?  walking back to georgia by jim croce

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? honestly.... drop dead diva... im sorry.... but tbh i dont watch tv all that often!! ACTUALLUY HECK i would def recommend merlin the bbc tv series and ofc sherlock the tv series but keep in mind both those recs will rip out your heart MULTIPLE times,

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? .......... im down all the time lolol but tbh all the harry potter films + the 1st fantastic beasts movie, all the lotr films and all the hobbit films AND sherlock both the rdj and jude law films and then the bbc sherlock christmas special the abominable bride

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? yah! my all time favourite game is tes oblivion!! it has been my fav since i was 6!

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? my life not working out the way i want to!! i want my life to be happy and long and spent with the people i love and not having 2 worry abt money or health!!!

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? i think maybe my ability to find everything funny??

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? my temper is beyond vicious honestly like im not kidding my temper is.... disgusting

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? birds

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? winter

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? nah!

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? im still a kid im only 17!!! and uh,, i miss the innocence!! i miss being oblivious!!

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? i dont have one!

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? brownn w/ a bit of green!

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? dark brown!

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my parents and my family!

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? jude law, sebastian stan, emma stone

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? back to school shopping!! also i get to eat fried chicken and cheesecake tonight because even tho my birthday was yesterday im celebrating it today!!!!

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? stationery??? video games?? FOOD??

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? jane and the dragon!

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? i dont know what a male is sorry

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? a baby bit only

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? n’aw i dont think so!

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? i mean... if i weren’t as ugly as i am id love to be in front of a camera doing fun acting stuff or whatnot! but bc i am ugly im usually behind the camera + i do film at school!

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? lettering/calligraphy!

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? what if its us by becky abertalli + adam silvera (its so cute but the ending was.... not satisfactory...)

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? fantastic beasts the crimes of grindelwald!!!

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? used 2 play piano, accordion, and violin! but i dont do tht anymore!

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? bird!! 

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? too many 2 pick from !!! im srry!

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? gdgs all of them!!!!! maybe the power to warp reality bc i could do anything then?? a reality where im married to jude law or emma stone? done, a reality where i have all the powers in the world? done

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? a cliff somewhere where its cold and the water is vicious underneath!

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? babies, animals, happy couples, pregnant people, old people, a lot of things really!

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i used 2 do karate but now i dont do sports!

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? idfsng idk! strawberry milkshake maybe?? matcha boba??? milk!!

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? last week!!! i love handwriting!

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? nah!

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? ppl who r rude for no reason and also ppl at school who just pick on other ppl for no reason looking at you rahni teagan and the other f*ckheads!!! hope u die literally i know thats a horrible thing to say but you all deserve it

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? i went to two twenty one pilot concerts!! the first one was in the forum in melbourne and then the other one was a few years or one year later and it was in a sold out stadium!! both were in the mosh! and then idk if this counts as a concert but i went to and did the meet and greet for dan and phil’s first tour! i dont like them anymore tho ! ://

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? no way in HELL!!!!

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a lot of things!!! famous actress, spy, war general, prime minister, pro wrestler, explorer, cartographer, filmmaker, architect, interior designer, dragon, PIRATE

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? i know this is a bad idea but honestly the harry potter universe PROVIDED i had magic!! bc like,,, yah

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? a lot of things! my future mainly lol :(

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? no but i gotta say sometimes in the middle of the night when i wake up and the undefined shape my clothes sitting on my desk chair looks like That i get a bit worried yanno it looks like a demon im not gonna lie

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? ya but i dont htink im any good at it!

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? only due to sickness, funerals, or holidays!

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? my house! OR the cliffs of moher :o)

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? in some old old old european castle in the middle of nowhere on a mountain and next to the sea

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? nuu :( but i do feed a lot of birds that come to my house and ive named them and love them even if the lorikeets dont love me back which is fine!!!! :(

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? early bird i guess

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsets??

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? yes! but i dont have my full lisence only my learner’s permit!!

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? headphones (noise cancelling!!)

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yup!! they were green!!

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? soft rock, indie folk, indie-everything mainly except for indie-rock,,, country music dont hate my i love country music as long as its certain country music!! aint having none of this keith urban rubbish in my house!! we only listen 2 the james taylor brand of country music in this house!!! so i guess country folk. folk music in general is my jam!!! i love ballads as well and ofc blues!! theres so many more jbdsgjbas but i cant possibly list all of it!!!

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? the idea of me living out the future i want if that makes sense!

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? yah!!

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? a lot of things honestly!!!! 2 many to list im really passionate!

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? real book but i read more on electronic devices bc its easy and i dont have to worry about lights !!

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? idk!!!!!!!! maybe history!

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? nup!! im an only child thanK GOD

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? movie tickets to crimes against grindelwald last night!!

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? i think im like 176cm??

75. CAN YOU COOK? only if i have a recipe! but i can make really good drinks (non alcoholic ofc!!)

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? rainy weather, good literature, my family

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? hubris, wrath, pococurantism

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? female

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? ?????????? who knows

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? australia!!

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my group chat

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? my birthday yesterday lol

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? dont want youtube tht much anymore tbh

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? nah

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? procreate

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? incredibly close with both parents but fight with my dad like cats n dogs

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? irish or strong strong american or posh english also scottish

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? israel, republic of ireland, and so many more places like nksgskbgs i cant list them also all the nordic countries

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 3

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? no

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? nah 

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? both!!!!!! 

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? daring in terms of i like to do things that could potentially kill me for the adrenaline rush but not daring in terms of introducing myself to other ppl lol

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? nah thank GOD

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? oui

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? non

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? ill happily admit i’m wrong provided the other person wasnt a douchebag about it but even then ill admit im wrong! aint no shame in recognising ur wrong ma dude

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? dont like the beach but i love the sea?? so forest i guess bc i dont like sand

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? "two things stand like stone, kindness in another’s trouble, courage in your own” - adam lindsay gordon

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? an excellent one, but i dislike lying and value honesty so!!

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? ssssss slytherin!

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? ya

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? cop out answer here but it depends on the situation

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? yes

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? depends

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? try and find the owner and track em down but if i cant ill hand it in to the place where it was lost

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? yes

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? yes

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yes

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? ears but theyre closed up!!

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? thorin oakenshield

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? nah

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? ? idk man

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? no, too many bad people are living good lives right now

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? nope! perfect vision here my dude!

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? in the future i want 1 child only

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my little cousin

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? a Lot

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? a few times only, but i value sleep

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black and green

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? hell ya !

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? audience member for the xfactor!

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 17

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? “so comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings.” -tolkien OR “always seek the giant.”

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savoury

[aleinnilatibae]

🌻

little post about my secondary fandoms to LT, which I post about sometimes on this blog rather than my main:

Ávaxtakarfan: if you dont know what this is well...I do not blame you in the least, it’s an icelandic play about the inhabitants of a fruit basket that has a bit of actor overlap with áfram latibær and has Jónsi, eurovision star and the singer of welcome to lazytown, as a very loud pineapple who wants to become king of the fruits (his logic is that the lion is the king of beasts, so pineapples can be the king of fruits). When a vegetable shows up in the fruit basket, everyone loses their collective minds and is very prejudiced against her, immediately throwing her to the bottom of the food chain (haha) underneath the previous lowest-ranked fruit, a tiny strawberry named Mæja. The carrot is REALLY nice, and unsurprisingly she and Mæja find common ground and  team up to overthrow Immi’s coronation before it even gets off the ground.  This play was heavily influenced by the ideals of the French Revolution, and it is an anti-bullying, equality promoting play for toddlers. I wish I was joking when I said that but no, they specifically use the icelandic words for Equality and Brotherhood in this play, and that´s one hell of a coincidence if it wasnt meant to be that way....

Shoutout to @sassysportacus, my Ávaxtakarfan buddy who has created the most sprawling extended universe of ÁK that the creator definitely didn’t intend for but is amazing anyway, and @ghostofanonpast , I just couldn’t mention the french revolution thing without linking to your art 

Hafið Bláa: another unsubtitled, unfilmed, cryptid play from Iceland, which has only a (REALLY LIT) album that I’ve been trying to brute-force translate since may of 2017. No lyrics anywhere online, no translations, no subtitles, exactly two video clips, its been kind of difficult for me as a beginner in icelandic but the drive for me to know what the hell they are talking about was so strong that it has improved my understanding of icelandic a TON. I now know that the play is about a little redfish whose entire school was caught in a net, and he finds a badass lady fish that helps him find “Skuggi”, the great hero of the sea, while trying not to get eaten by a gigantic ray thats following them.  It’s reverse finding nemo, kinda. This play has a TON of famous icelandic people in it, like Selma Björnsdóttir and the previously mentioned Jónsi, and good ol´ Matti Matt.

Shoutout to @piranhapunk for being exactly this aesthetic and @bi-robbie-rotten for helping with the translations early on 

Benedikt Búálfur: There are lyrics to exactly ONE song available online, and exactly ONE video available to watch from this play, and I WISH I could see this play because from what I have translated in a similar way to Hafið bláa, it is a WILD ride and it would be worth it for Jósafat alone, IMO. It is about this elf named Benedikt who is seen by a little girl named Dídí when he goes to take a bath in her house (fun fact: in this universe, if an elf is dry it is invisible to humans, but if it is wet, humans can see it. Imagine that applied to Sportacus sdkfkjsdjfd), and they become good friends and he takes her to the Elf World...as a thank you, or for fun.  But little did either of them know, the elf world just happens to have lost its only dentist (the tooth fairy) and is threatened to plunge into darkness because of the incurable toothaches that are turning elves evil, so they have to meet up with a vegetarian dragon and save the day and sing some extraordinarily catchy songs along the way. Selma björnsdóttir and Sveinn Geirsson, Hinrik Ólafsson, and Lára Sveinsdóttir are some of the famous people in this play, they were ALL in Ávaxtakarfan in some way or another, and the first two were actually both in Áfram Latibær.

shoutout to @greykolla who is actually icelandic and grew up with Benedikt Búálfur, drew some incredible art about it and helped with some translations :)

Junior Express: we jump from Iceland to Argentina for this one, it’s an ADORABLE show on Disney Junior in Spanish about a crew of people who live and work on a monorail, four of which are a band that goes from station to station and plays songs to little kids. In their travels from station to station, they encounter issues, like Captain Topa ripped a hole in his big giant rainbow hat and is too intimidated by Josefina to ask her to fix it, one of the triplets with curly hair used the wrong shampoo so now he doesn´t have the curl that is a part of his identity, Francis the waiter is doing something shady in the kitchen that he has to hide from Arnoldo the chef, basic kids shows plots. ALL of the actors on this show is so charismatic and distinct (Sorry Carlos) that it’s a really fun watch! I did Spanish in high school so my spanish vocab is a lot better than my icelandic vocab, which definitely comes in handy here! But, mostly I watch subtitled stuff lmao thanks virfu

shoutout to @virfujiwara for introducing me to and letting me access episodes of this show! I love it so much!