#sad hrs

[sarahs-secrets2]

I wish I still had time to write like I used to ☹️☹️

[penvibess]

I haven't loved myself in a long time. I don't feel worthy of it. Of love, of kindness, of efforts and care. I don't feel worthy of it. I haven't felt proud of myself in a long time, for nothing have I done these past few months that is worth talking about. I haven't laughed openly in a long time, for all I see are reasons to cry. I don't dare to hope anymore, to expect anything of people, of myself, for all I've been met with are disappointments. I haven't opened upto anyone in a long time, longer than I'd like to admit, because my problems seemed so insignificant as compared to the problems of countless others.

If only I had treated myself with a fraction of all that love that I had given to those who left me with nothing but a shattered confidence.

[sin-amin]

i need my partner to be gentle and kind, i haven’t been treated with care in a long time

[trans-marvel-fan]

[rockinginneverland]

For all of you out there who have had someone fall in love with you and have you been in love with them back, how’s that like? Just curious really because my aromantic ass had only fallen in love once and the feelings are there for the same guy all this years later but of course I pretend my feelings aren’t there and the other day while drinking with my cousin she told me that she knew I liked this guy, that she had noticed cause she of course knows me, and so I of course thought you know what maybe now there’s going to be a something between us, maybe he will like me back…. HA my heart cracked today because come to find out he is seeing someone, someone he’s been friends with for a while and he now realized that they both had feelings for each other… and so of course I tried my hardest not to cry on the plane cause I found out while boarding said plane… yeah anyways I was ballsy and asked him today if he had had any feelings for me ever in all this years of friendship and he said that he has always seen me as an unconditional friend and that he is thankful for my fam and I being part of his life to which I of course after reading said words I shed tears and proceeded to tell him that he is important to me and that im thankful he is in my life basically and so anyways I thought to ask what it feels like to have reciprocated love? Must be fun

Anyways y’all want to hear about my book boyfriends? With those I can pretend they love me back cause they are not real yay

[cynderrfall]

On the surface 🌸

[penumbra-the-unicorn]

I think it's strange that people seem to have separated "lover" and "fighter" as two different things, two different personalities. If you truly love something, you fight for it tooth and nail. Whether it's against the world or against your bad habits and worst thoughts, there is always a fight for love. And it's difficult and taxing but it can be so worth it. Lover fighters have my heart. Keep fighting. I hope one day we won't have to fight for our love.

[oreo-hong]

deep end on repeat

[vivisectionists]

...

[fadingstarryskies]

jdkeoekfjdksosoxjifoepskxnfnrkoeoskxnfjdoskdk

[rasisamess]

Why do I only have to go through so much shit in life!? *proceeds to sleep for 12 hours straight and procrastinate every fucking thing until its too late*

[miscxllany]

@stasammen​​ said: ❛ you know, i really hoped i’d never see this place again. ❜ [alberto to suhad]

The trip had been planned well in advance, one Alberto couldn't seem to stop talking about as it grew closer and closer. But, really who could blame him? This was a very big deal! The trip in question? Italy for two weeks, to visit Luca who was home for the summer.

They'd stay within some hotel, somewhere not too far from Portorosso. Alberto was able to visit everyone with a quick ride into the small town on some form of transportation. Suhad could get acquainted with those she had only heard stories about up until this point, and the town before her. It's cozy, this seaside town; at least Suhad thinks so. It's a far cry from New Jersey, especially Spring Lake. Far more sea monsters as well, seemingly populating parts of the city. She remembers being told about him and Luca winning the race from Alberto. It was a call for acceptance, one that seemed to be fanning out a bit more from what she could tell. The one thing she asked of Alberto throughout this trip was a tour around the place. She wanted to hear his thoughts on everything, what he remembered. She wanted to know more about where he came from, the life he lived before ending up in the house on Brighton Avenue. That's how they had ended up at Isola del Mare in the first place. Taking a boat out onto the sea, sitting upon peaceful water and enjoying the sunshine. Nothing too fancy, a little row boat big enough for two. One they could easily pull upon onto the shore as they docked. Alberto seemed quiet, which was a rarity as of late. Was he apprehensive about coming back to this place? Suhad couldn't quite tell. She wasn't stupid, she had been told plenty about life on the island in question. Bits and pieces she had to put together over time. But, he still was willing to take her. Wouldn't he have suggested otherwise or stood his ground if he didn't feel comfortable with going? 

Once the boat is secured, the two ventured further into the island on the way to the tower. ❛ It's very beautiful here, the flora is incredible. ❜ It's an attempt to ease some nerves, to get a read on how he's feeling. Seems it'd be a bit harder than that to figure it out. Though, she really did believe the land around them to be stunning. The tower, on the other hand, was far less stunning. It's broken down, stone crumbling here and there. There's so much to look at, to take in, and yet... almost nothing at all. Trash that had washed up and been fished out serve as forms of entertainment or decoration. Tattered and worn cloth, likely also fished out, serve as a bed. The "roof," if you could even call it that, served little protection from the elements. Same went for the window that overlooks the ocean. All of it is enough to cause concern. She tries not to let it show within soft features, maintaining a warm smile as she silently looks around. It isn't the first time she had encountered a living space inhabited by children only. Hannah and Gwen had come to her with their own attempt at at home. But, it was never like this; it was never this... despairing. At least they had a proper roof over their heads.

Silence is broken with the utterance of a sentence, "You know, i really hoped I’d never see this place again."

It's enough to stop the hijabi in her tracks, pull her attention from a collection of glass bottles that have been haphazardly put together in a corner. Brown eyes come to meet his own, ❛ Alberto... ❜ It's perhaps the first time since arriving Suhad has let her concern show. It's etched into her features, seeping from every softly spoken word. ❛ Honey, we didn't have to come here. I know I asked you to show me everything but, I never meant for you to do something you weren't comfortable with. This place... I can't imagine what it must be like for you, to be back here. ❜ There's a pause as she steps forward, coming to take her son into her arms. A warm embrace, a comfort to them both she hopes. ❛ I’m so sorry, Alberto. Do you want to go back to the mainland? We can go get dinner or just go sit in the hotel for a while. ❜

[3am27minutes]

i lost.

I think I lost the love of my life. My first and only love… He was a monster who lied and betrayed me. Yet my heart somehow still aches for him, yearns for him. Now what am I supposed to do? What do I do with my life now that he’s no longer a part of it? What do I do with all of the remaining love? What do I do with the memories? How do I erase everything? It hurts. It hurts like hell I swear to God. It’s unbearable. I feel like I’m really close to giving up. It hurts too much. My life has gotten so miserable because of the tremendous pain. I see nothing but darkness, in me and the world. Life became bitter, it wasn’t sweet before but now it’s bitter. It has ruined me. I fear I can’t be fixed. What if there is no ending to this pain? Because I don’t think there is. The mere thought that the love of my life is out there smiling at or with someone else is enough to fill me with great sorrow. The kind of sorrow that I know cannot be consoled because I have already lost. What do I do now? I can’t seem look past this suffering. He was everything to me. I was nothing to him. If I was anything he wouldn't have done what he did. More than 7 years of time spent, and how much did I ever mean to him? The realization that after all those years, he probably never loved me, that my existence in his life has no meaning or any impact at all, broke me. How do you recover from that fact? I truly don't know. I'm barely holding on to life. I don't even know what 'life' is now. He was life. He was everything to me, everything. All I've ever wanted in life and beyond, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, as long as it's him. I would have chosen him over anything, with no hesitation, always... yet I get replaced so easily. I can't love again. I won't be able to. I've given it all to that monster. I gave him all of me, the best of me, now I’m left with nothing but the worst, unwanted bits. Left to rot alone. Like a walking corpse, devoid of life, somehow still ‘living’. He killed me. I no longer exist.

[munchboxart]

Sam & Max

[syilcawrites]

final catch! 💞

inprnt

[sherlokiness]

"How is she?" "She's... not with me."