#sad. angry. traumatized. dramatic. gay

[chaos-has-theories]

I think I'm too british to be able to understand ml posts now abdjdnjd u said u wanted an argos hoodie and all I can think of is this

gsghjsg yeah no new superhero (?) with a peacock design

angry bastard boy <3 I think he'd be right up your alley actually

[eniyioyun]

Undertale Chara Headcanos

CHARA DREEMUR

*Gay and asexual. (He/They)

*He is older than Frisk and Asriel and smaller than Kris.

*He has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and neurological disease.

*When he is angry, he cannot control himself at all, he cannot control himself in the same way in a different way.

*He can use magic and his magic is illusion (zikadraws from tumblr)

*He can put himself at risk with illusion and use it to surprise his enemy. While he doesn't realize that the illusion is real, he makes the finishing blow with his knife.

*He went up the mountain to commit suicide.

*You can meet Asriel and other monsters, make friends with them, and use them to help them. He found peace with help.

*He hated a bad family and values, the evil, selfishness and stupidity of humanity, and was filled with revenge.

*Actually, albino.

*He has red eyes from birth, so he was declared "devil" in the village where he grew up.

*They environment saw him as a man because he behaved masculinely, but his fulfillment of these was interrupted by the fact that he did not belong to any gender. She was also subjected to hate and bullying because she was attracted to men. No one accepted him as he was. Until he meets Asriel, who will be his half-brother.

*He has a very dramatic and unfortunate sense of humor. He loves puns, dark humor, scaring people, and elaborate jokes.

*Half Greek and half German.

*He has a German accent (reddit @Dragon_X627279)

*Addicted to everything sharp. And Toriel's snail pies.

*His hobbies are knitting, eating chocolate, collecting weapons and reading books.

*When something bothers him, he becomes sullen and doesn't say anything.

*He likes to do make-up, especially when he catches Asriel and forces him to do make-up.

*He is flirty with men, so many men thought she was a girl. He just flirts FOR FUN, as much as a CHILD can flirt.

*Apart from the Dreemur family, his favorite monsters are Gaster and Sans. He loves looking at their work. He is also a fan of Gerson.

*Gaster taught him sign language, he always talked to him in sign language.

*He also learned the Wingdings alphabet, but only used it for important matters.

*The main reason he learned the Wingdings alphabet was to read the secret research notes written by Gaster and Sans.

*Caught by Gaster while reading his research notes in the middle of the night. He thought he would be very angry, but Gaster patted his head and showed him the real experiments.

*He was surprised when he and Frisk met Gaster again. He was especially disappointed with the scars on his face and how they disappeared so quickly.

*Thanks to Sans, his inner nerd came out, he enjoys listening to their scientific nonsense. They are both great students.

*There were times when he and Sans would fight for fun, neither of them could beat the other, but when they got to the point of killing each other, they would stop and do tear-inducing victory dances.

*Like Toriel, she constantly laughs at Sans' jokes.

*When he met Sans, he was very excited, lively, energetic and curious, at first he had a hard time keeping up with him, but later it was Asriel who had a hard time keeping up with the two of them.

*When he met Frisk and Sans, he was very happy that his sense of humor had not changed, but he was sad that his old energetic and lively self was replaced by a lazy Sans, and he hated that his friend's life energy was depleted. .

*Gerson taught him various martial arts.

*When Chara used these defensive arts to attack and intimidate, Gerson hit her with a stick.

*As a result, Chara tried to scare him like crazy with an illusion, but Gerson wasn't afraid at all.

*Chara must be the person who admires Gerson the most after Undyne.

*Gerson's encounter with Frisk disappointed him for the third time. He was no longer a hero... So he declared Undyne as his new admirable figure.

*Chara is a very smart child, she has an advanced intelligence for her age and that's why she is so crazy.

*He likes to talk to his spirit knife, he believes it talks to them too. He only showed it to Asriel. Asriel saw this as a game and liked to talk with the knife. Chara was telling them what the knife said.

* He belittles poor and weak people. At first she judged Asriel for being weak and tried to make him tougher but then she accepted that he was just cute.

*He can stand on his own two feet, is very self-confident and can sometimes be a bully. *He is not a very good person. He is not thoughtful or kind, tends to be rude and indifferent, has annoying and dangerous habits, and is generally a "freak" but is always himself. Nobody changed it, it won't change for nobody and nobody will change it

*After his death, his soul was corrupted and he became "the actor's name". Whatever the "player's name" was, it was.

If there is a character you want headcanon, write it!

[nikialexx]

My general theory about Sirius is less to do with subverting tropes and a lot to do with the fandom suddenly waking up one morning and going “damn… this dudes life was kinda traumatic and sad.” That’s been the biggest difference I’ve noticed in how his characterization has changed.

lmao yeah, that too. I haven't read a lot of those earlier fics but I do remember quite a few them had Sirius a bit more angry and brooding, very much the Mysterious Bad Boy trope, you know? So when the Shift™ in wolfstar's characterizations happened people were probably like... "let Sirius be happy for once while we make Remus the brooding angsty one"😅

But lot of fics recently (at least the ones i've been reading) have been giving Sirius a lot more depth and complexity with respect to the trauma he suffered, but they've been doing it while still keeping just a touch of the dramatic chaotic characterization, enough that it's not overbearing, and i really like that because i think it does suit him well.

so there has been a bit of a shift away from the Super Gay Not A Single Thought In His Pretty Little Head sirius that we saw a couple of years ago, which is nice cause i was kinda getting bored of him.

[gryffieverse]

Character Profile

Character’s full name: Eli Dusty Moore

Meaning of name: Eli; “high, height” or “elevated.” or “my God” Dusty; Thor's Stone Or Light Dirt

Nickname: Sweetheart by Henry, E by Will, Elliot by Steve

Reason for nickname: Henry loves him, Steve couldn’t care to learn his actual name

Birth date: April 5th, 1968

Zodiac sign: Aries An Aries born on April 5 is a natural aristocrat, has a high opinion of themselves and may even be self-centered. However, that attitude in no way influences their ability to interact with others or to be likeable. They possess a sense of destiny and may often find themselves involved in unusual circumstances.

Age: 25

In a nutshell: Eli is at loss when his best friend Henry has been kidnapped and everyone else seems to have given up hope on ever finding him. To his surprise, Henry is returned after two years in good shape but traumatized. Eli’s new life mission is to help him get back on track with his life and get back at the people who took him from him.

Physical appearance

Faceclaim: Joe Sugg, when older Jude Law

Height: 169cm, 5’5 inches

Eye color: Blue

Hair color: Light brown

Tattoos, scars, distinguishing features, etc: Musical note tattoos behind his ears

Fashion:

Present:

Older:

Personality

Eli is reckless, funny, social, and fun to be around. He can make anyone laugh and is bit of a trickster. He’s very loyal towards his loved one’s and would do anything to protect them. He also has good survival skills and quick instincts. He’s friendly to most but extremely sarcastic and if he decides not to like someone, he’s going to let it show. When he gets angry, he’s not going to hide his feelings either. He forgives quite easily though after he gets to be dramatic about it first. Eli is quite adventurous too and doesn’t mind taking risks except when it comes to love since he’s careful with his heart.

Sense of humor: Sarcastic most of the time, doesn’t take life too seriously. Sort of Seth Cohen of the gang.

Character’s greatest joy in life: Henry, movies, his family

Character’s greatest fear: Losing Henry

Why?  At first, he’s scared of losing Henry because of his feelings towards him. When Henry is kidnapped, Eli does not take it well and during their break from friendship he’s sad.

What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? When Henry gets kidnapped, if something would happen to his little sister Hannah or his mother, if he’d have to face his father

Character is most at ease when: When he’s the center of attention

Most ill at ease when: When he’s abusing alcohol or when Henry is being extremely couple with Mo

Enraged when: When he’s being ignored

Depressed or sad when: When he’s heartbroken or having feelings of unrequited love

Priorities: Henry, his family

If granted one wish, it would be: That Henry would feel the same way about him

Why? Because he’s been in love with him for a long time.

Character’s soft spot: Henry and Hannah

Is this soft spot obvious to others? Yes

Greatest strength: He’s temper and quick senses

Greatest vulnerability or weakness: In a way also his temper

Biggest regret: He feels like he didn’t do enough in the situation where his dad left

Biggest accomplishment: Going back to school and he manages to eventually start teaching

Minor accomplishment: His garden

Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: He doesn’t really get embarrassed easily, but he has probably said things while drunk that he wishes he wouldn’t have, especially about Henry.  

Character’s darkest secret: - he’s gay and not out about it - he has issues with alcohol

Does anyone else know? - Mo

Goals

Drives and motivations: family, support of loved one’s and need to protect them

Immediate goals: To find out who took Henry and take actions against them

Long term goals: getting a degree

How the character plans to accomplish these goals: -He works with Steve a lot to find out what happened to Henry, even against Henry’s own wishes -He goes back to school

How other characters will be affected: Henry is not going to like Eli getting involved in his case

 Past

Hometown: Chippenham, Wiltshire, England. 

Type of childhood: His family didn’t have much money and his father left the family when he was 13 and his little sister had just been born. When he was 15, he moved to New York alone. He was always close with his mother, but he also wanted to have a big adventure.

Most impactful childhood memory: Leaving for New York, his father leaving

Why: those shaped him into the character he is

Childhood hero: His father, Luke Skywalker

Dream job: teaching or gardening or anything involving movies

Education: primary education, secondary education but he sort of left before ever graduating.

Religion: not religious

Finances: Eli is not wealthy at all, he lives in a shitty apartment in a bad neighborhood, but the rent still takes most of his monthly income. He accepts help from others when he’s running out of money and Henry tends to spoil him.

 Present

Current location: New York

Currently living with: Alone, then Steve makes his apartment his hiding place, then he moves in with Henry  

Pets: No pets, but when he was a baby his parents had a cat called Dusty that they loved so much that they named Eli after the cat.

Occupation: Eli has worked at a vintage movie theater pretty much ever since he moved to New York. The owner took pity on him not having a job and gave him a chance and Eli never felt the need to go anywhere else. He later goes back to school and eventually he starts teaching Popular culture studies. He also inherits the movie theatre and with the help of Henry they renovate the place.

 Family

Mother: Jodie Moore (fc: Claire Forlani)

Relationship with her: Jodi had Eli when she was only 16 and the two have always been close. She often uses his old clothes. When Eli moves to New York, they write and call each other every week.

Father: Owen Evans (fc: David Sutcliffe)

Relationship with him: They haven’t had a relationship since Eli’s childhood. He left the family when Hannah was still little, and Eli never learned why. He doesn’t want to find him.

Siblings:

Sister: Hannah Moore (fc: Mckenna Grace)

Hannah and Eli have a 13-year-old age difference. When Hannah was a baby and Owen left, Eli took more role in Hannah’s life and helped take care of her when she was a baby. One of the main reasons why he decided to move to New York was that Jodie didn’t have the money to take care of two children without over exhausting herself and he wanted Hannah to have more luxuries. He often calls to his mother and Hannah and sends long letters to her. Sometimes it bugs him that he’s not there seeing her grow up.

Love interests: Colin Irwin, Will Ryder, Henry Van Tassel

Relationship with him/her: Colin: Colin was Eli’s Canadian “friend” who Henry never liked. In reality the relationship was romantic, but Eli never went out about it and that was one of the main reasons for their break up. Colin felt as he was only real with him when he was drunk. Fc: Niko Terho

Will:

Eli and Will met during the time when Henry and Eli had issues with their friendship. The two bonded over being British and loving movies. This was the first time Eli was open about his sexuality and Will became his first real boyfriend. They had a steady relationship for few months, but it ended when Will developed feelings for Felix Averill after Eli introduced the two. Eli and Will sat down and talked honestly about their feelings with Eli not being over Henry and Will falling for Felix and decided that their relationship was better without the romance. The two remain friends. Henry didn’t like Will. Fc: Alfie Enoch

Henry: Eli has been in love with Henry for a long time. When first meeting him, he was annoyed about Henry’s personality and use of his wealth but eventually Henry started to grow on him after he insisted coming back in his life and Eli got to know the real Henry. They grew close friends and Henry became the most important person in Eli’s life.

The two would often share beds and had a very affectionate friendship which didn’t help Eli with his feelings. When Henry started to date Mo, Eli was still often included on their dates. Their engagement was a big shock for Eli.

When Henry got kidnapped, Eli didn’t give up hope on finding him and looked for him on his own and actually getting close to finding out the truth, but Henry managed to escape with the help of Steve before he managed to find his best friend. He became determined to help Steve with getting back at the people who took Henry.

Eli was never out about his sexuality to Henry, being afraid of how he’d react but eventually he told the truth and it led to Henry questioning his own feelings and thoughts about their close relationship and his jealous tendencies about Eli’s close relationship with anyone else but him (like his friendship with Peyton Bradley or Colin Irwin).  

Henry and Eli ended up kissing after their car broke down which forced them to share a motel room for a night in the middle of nowhere. It changed everything for not just them but for Mo and Henry’s relationship as well. Because of the incident Eli and Henry decided to press pause on their whole friendship so they could figure out their own lives first without each other. During the drift, Eli started to date Will Ryder and Henry and Mo had their daughter Lou (while already broken up). Henry also started his affair with Demo Buttergood to figure out his own sexuality which made Eli jealous.

After a while they started to fix their friendship since Eli was still working with Steve to catch the people responsible for Henry’s kidnap and they had to work together as a team.  

During a mission where Henry almost got himself killed, Eli realized that he does in fact want the relationship to be romantic and kissed Henry which led to them starting their relationship finally for real. Eventually they get married and adopt their son Archie together. Fc: Matthew Daddario

Children: Archie Van Tassel, step daughter Lou Van Tassel  

Relationship with them:

Loves both very much. Eli is Lou’s favorite parent and Archie would often go for Eli for advice.

Favorites

Color: Black and red

Music: Eli likes mainstream music and rock music, he loves Metallica

Food: Pizza

Literature: He likes to read original works of his favorite movies

Form of entertainment: Movies, he spends more money to buying VHS: s than he should and he works at the movie theater. He’s obsessed on them and often quotes movies.

Mode of transportation: Walking, sometimes road trips with Henry where he also drives

Most prized possession: Eli once managed to steal an armchair from Camille Austen. The chair is huge in his small apartment, and he often sleeps on it and thinks it’s his greatest accomplishment in life.

Habits

Hobbies: Movies

How he/she would spend a rainy day: Watching a movie while cuddling Henry

Spending habits: doesn’t have much to spend but is not good at saving.

Smokes: sometimes

Drinks: Eli developed a drinking problem when Henry was missing

Other drugs: rarely

What does he/she do too much of? Watch movies

What does he/she do too little of? Exercise healthy life habits

Extremely skilled at: Movie facts, Gardening later

Extremely unskilled at: Exercise, being careful  

Traits

Optimist or pessimist

Introvert or extrovert

Daredevil or cautious

Logical or emotional

Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat

Prefers working or relaxing

Confident or unsure of himself/herself

Animal lover

 Self-perception

How he/she feels about himself/herself: He’s scared of coming clean about who he is but he knows how to appear confident and hides his self-doubt behind humor.

One word the character would use to describe self: Funny

What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? his humor

What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? being insecure

What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? He likes his eyes

What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? Eli is very insecure about his looks as he is short, skinny, pale and tired looking and he feels as he’d stand out around his friends.

How does the character think others perceive him/her: - negative: Someone who doesn’t take things seriously - positive: Funny and friendly mostly

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: Eli likes most people as long as they’re decent and not mean

Person character most hates: Camille Austen, Demo Buttergood (formerly), William McAllister

Best friend(s): Henry Van Tassel

Mo Darling (fc: Alycia Debnam Carey)

Eli and Mo spend years disliking each other with Eli being jealous about Henry and Mo seeing right through him about his feelings for her boyfriend. After Henry got kidnapped the two bonded and she became his most trusted friend. She was even his best man for his and Henry’s wedding.

Other friends: Peyton Bradley (former crush, kissed him once which let him to come out to Henry), Seven Austen, Lorelai Austen, Will Ryder, Raleigh Holt, Charlie Meadows, Steve Milligan

Person character goes to for advice: Mo, sometimes Steve

Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Henry, Hannah, his children

Person character feels shy or awkward around: Peyton Bradley

Person character openly admires: Peyton Bradley

Person character secretly admires: Steve, Mo

Most important person in character’s life before story starts: Henry Van Tassel

After story starts: Still Henry.

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Severus Snape being an awesome teacher and human being

Au Volant - Elsa & Emilie

He makes sure to let students work on their own when they brew Amortentia. They only have to pass in a list of things they smell and he draws little smiley faces on them because he knows a lot of kids are very insecure about their feelings. (Once a kid passed in a list that just said, I’m sorry Professor but it doesn’t smell like anything, and on their paper Severus drew an ace and aro flag and a time for the student to be at Mcgonogall’s office that weekend for tea, along with a smiley face and an O grade.) (The student was Newt.) (Hailee’s just read, People are gross and if I fall in love with one I want you to kill me, to which Severus responded, Valid, and drew her a picture of a turtle.)

He makes fake batches of Felix Felicis and gives one to every student secretly before their O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s so they feel extra confident going into the test but aren’t actually cheating.

He knows his area is Potions, but he teaches defense spells to students who come after class or report bullying anonymously. Severus Snape does not fucking stand for bullying in his classroom or outside of it. If you dare to pick on one of his students, he will burn you so hard with his mere words that you will wish you were dead. Do not fuck with Severus Snape’s kids.

On parent-teacher day, he drinks different batches of Polyjuice Potion to imitate certain students, all of whom hide away in their dorms after drinking a fine batch of invisibility potion. He then follows these select parents around and endures their horrifying, demeaning remarks about their “failure of a child” so his students don’t have to. He makes sure to give these students glowing praises to their parents when it’s his turn to offer feedback (after making up an excuse to go to the bathroom as the student), and takes mental notes of the parents’ most prominent criticisms so he can be sure to compliment those parts of his students during their next assignments (and also just because).

He brews sleeping potions for students he knows stay up all night studying and sometimes slips it into their drinks if they refuse to take it willingly. He then gives them back their (usually almost flawless) tests with the note that if they want a full O they need to sleep more.

He invites kids he knows don’t have many friends to have dinner and lunch and breakfast in his classroom whenever they’d like. He tries to make friends with some of them too, hoping to make their lives a little less lonely than his was.

He keeps an eye out for abusive home situations. He does his best to come up with excuses for those unfortunate students to stay at Hogwarts over breaks or to visit often over the summer. He tries to find them friends that will help them the way James helped Sirius and Regulus, and speaks to Mcgonogall about opening a home for these kids on campus. He does his best to be the parent he knows these kids don’t have, and is open about his own horrid past in hopes of getting some of them to fess up so he can help them better than he can without hearing it explicitly from their mouths.

He uses his Pensieve to collect happy memories of and for his students to reflect on when they need to and they sit in the corner of his classroom. (Among them are his wedding day to James and Lily, the day Harry was born, a couple playdates with the other Marauder children, Sirius and Remus’ wedding day, studying with Remus, pranking James with Sirius, Sirius and James asleep cuddled together with Remus on the couch in ugly Christmas sweaters, his son and many nieces and nephews playing dress-up, reading with Hermione and exploring with Luna and Newt, dancing with Draco (he likes to dance but was always ashamed to do it at the Malfoys), going on long drives with Regulus, the Blacks’ funeral (Regulus and Sirius performed a very gay stripper dance on top of their graves, it was beautiful), and many, many more.) Sometimes he can see his saddest students watching them and smiling, and their sad eyes twinkling make him smile.

He brings in a box of small kittens, puppies, and bunnies one day and lets them wander around the classroom. Some kids start crying because they haven’t felt this loved in years. After an incident with a bad potion and a rainbow puppy, he stops bringing them all out during class, but they’re there on the weekends and whenever a student needs to hug one (or borrow one, much to Mcgonogall’s chagrin).

He works to break down House biases and help students develop inter-House relationships and friendships. He wants every student to be proud of their House and not to treat anyone differently because of theirs. He creates (with Dumbledore, Sirius, and Regulus’ help) an annual House Pride, in which every student dresses up in their House colors and has their nails and skin painted and everyone is smiling and laughing and waving flags with their House emblems in the air. Even the teachers get in on it.

He stresses the importance of friendships, communication, and choices. He urges students not to make his mistakes by treating their friends well, talking about their feelings even if they’re ugly, and making the right choices in life for you and your loved ones, even if those choices are hard. He invites Lily in to talk about this too sometimes.

He sends out his Patronus every night to wander around the school. Often it comes back to him with nothing, but sometimes he can hear a student crying through it. He’ll instruct his doe to sit with the student until he gets there, and then he’ll walk around the castle, pretending to “accidentally” happen upon the crying student. He’ll sit with them until they’ve calmed down and listen if they want to talk and then take them to their dorm, bidding them goodnight and get well soon.

He gives students hugs when they want them. He didn’t want to originally, but Harry would greet him every class with a hug, and then one day Draco came in crying and attached himself to Severus like a sloth, so he patted him on the back and continued to hug him. Not long after, Hermione couldn’t figure out a potion and burst into tears out of frustration, turning and burying herself in his chest. After Luna wrapped her stick arms around his neck for no reason, Severus just accepted his fate and let his students hug him.

A lot of first years get scared in the hallways, since the staircases move and everywhere is incredibly crowded and they are oh so very small. Severus will often hold the hand of the most anxious ones for the first few weeks and walk them to class. Eventually they become more confident with the castle and themselves and stop needing it, but the occasional sixth year will slip their hand into his just because sometimes.

He walks around campus with students sometimes. He can tell when they’re nervous or sad or angry and he takes them on walks around the outskirts of campus and lets them vent. He also teaches them how to throw curses at the Whomping Willow just because (it’s for Remus but nobody’s gonna say it out loud).

He teaches students how to walk dramatically (as he should). He puts on student drag shows in the Great Hall with James’ help (who always kisses him way too enthusiastically because of it) and Dumbledore’s permission (so long as he gets to be the finale). The students work with Sirius on their drag looks and Sirius and Remus both join in the drag show for the opening act. Sirius’ job is to design and create the students’ looks while Remus tells them they look pretty and tames their stage fright. Severus just sits in the audience smirking while Lily screams in delight. (Regulus also shrieks with excitement eventually, though he does usually spend the first half trying to look disinterested.) (Peter’s job is to get the cookies and sweets (and underage alcohol).)

He turns into his snake Animagus form sometimes without warning when his students aren’t looking and just slithers around the classroom scaring the crap out of people. His favorite students are the ones brave enough to pet him. Harry and Newt are the only ones brave enough (and allowed) to wind him around their shoulders. Severus and Harry sometimes have conversations in Parseltongue.

He invents spells to help with dyslexia and other learning disabilities in his spare time. When he’s done with that he plans to try looking into some cures to mental illness. He’s thinking possibly a potion that treats PTSD by replacing traumatic memories with pictures of puppies, unicorns, bunnies, cats, and parrots. What do you think?

He tries hard to come up with solutions and modifications to his lessons for students with ADHD. He often talks to James about what the best steps to take are because James has ADHD. (So does Sirius, but his insecurities are bad enough that he won’t talk about it with anyone but Remus and James.)

He plays the violin sometimes during tests and uses Sonorus to make it echo throughout the classroom. Occasionally he cancels class and just plays until most of his students fall asleep. Those who want to work on extra work can, but he tries to keep their stress and general teenage angst to a minimum. (Though he encourages the emo phase.)

One of the first things he does after the Prank is get to work on a lycanthropy solution for Remus. After a couple years he invents the wolfsbane potion, but it doesn’t quite do the trick. Eventually he manages to figure out the cure, and when Remus finds out he cries so hard he can’t breathe right for days. (Sirius also cries. So does James. And Peter. And Lily and Regulus and Mcgonogall. Seriously, everyone cried and everyone hugged him and Severus tried to get away by transforming into his snake form but toddler Harry just grabbed him and refused to let go, so that didn’t work.) (He also helps Remus become a wolf Animagus when he asks almost a year later.)

He teaches certain kids Occlumency and Legilimency after school. It’s strictly for kids he knows come from abusive homes, whether they’re open about it or not, so they can tell when it’s going to be a bad night and get away or protect themselves. He teaches Occlumency for those who need to hide things from their parents (like Sirius and Regulus used to) and Legilimency to all, just in case. He focuses on stealth and untraceable versions of the craft to earn the kids as much time and protection as he can.

He figures out how to remove the Dark Mark from his own arm after the war. The next person he calls is Regulus, whose he also removes. He writes down the entire process and when the war starts up again, he keeps an eye out for students suddenly wearing long sleeves. He speaks with those he does find and helps them to make the right choice and join the right side of the war, starting with removing that horrid tattoo. (Draco bawls uncontrollably when Severus removes his.)

When they do the lesson on Veritaserum, he’s extra careful to make sure students don’t test it, especially on themselves or their friends. It, along with Amortentia, is the most guarded potion in his stash. The only times he uses it is when a student from an abusive home is too scared to tell him what’s going on, in which case he finds them somewhere private, asks them if they’d be okay with it and if so which teacher they want to be there to ask the questions (usually Remus, Sirius, or himself), and then administers the potion and leaves or begins to ask yes or no questions. It’s helped a lot of kids escape their families.

He tries to ease trepidations about himself early in the school year, since he’s aware he can be intimidating and the rampant stories regarding his time under Voldemort (though entirely as a spy) do not help. His friendships with Remus and Sirius often serve to alleviate students’ fears though, as they tend to tell embarrassing stories about him from their own Hogwarts days that make him seem more human (and make him want to strangle them, but that’s neither here nor there).

Every year, he works with Remus and Lily to arrange Muggleborn Pride. It’s an incredibly popular event with tons of Muggle inventions and artifacts floating through the air over students’ heads. At any time they can reach up and pull one down to study it. Many students dress as their favorite Muggle icons and characters. Because of this, Muggleborn students are more comfortable being who they are than ever before. (Some have even reclaimed the word Mudblood by setting up mud pits during their Pride.) (They also have more Slytherin Muggleborns now than any other time in recorded history.)

He tells Regulus’ story to every class of students, to teach them what true bravery is and how love and family, even if not blood, can change the course of history. Regulus survived his encounter with the Horcruxes and worked to destroy them and eventually Voldemort, but now lives away from the public eye in a secluded part of Muggle London. He and Severus are friends and visit often, and Regulus will occasionally come back to Hogwarts to say hello to his brother and mum (Remus), but for the most part he keeps his life intensely private. He allows his family to tell his story because he wants other kids to know they are not alone and that there is a way out, and that you are not a bad person for things you did in your childhood. Severus does his best to do it justice.

He has incredibly loud arguments with Dumbledore until he finally agrees to implement sex ed as a mandatory class at Hogwarts. Severus works with the other Marauders on the curriculum and they try to include multiple angles and identities in their lesson plan. At first they try to trust Remus with it, but Remus doesn’t go anywhere without Sirius who is less than tactful and Remus himself has some deadpan sarcasm and a lack of shame to rival James Potter’s, so. They try Lily. She can’t stop giggling. Finally they beg Regulus to come back and teach it. He’s surprisingly… perfect for the job. (He steals parenting books from Amir, that’s his secret.)

When James visits, everything becomes chaos for a bit. While he mostly hangs out with Sirius and Remus and causes trouble with them, he certainly seems to enjoy sitting in the back of Severus’ classroom and bothering him during lessons. The only way to get him to leave is to turn into a snake and wind himself around his shoulders, which makes James shriek and sputter and run away (James has always had an irrational fear of snakes; odd that he married one then, innit?). But when James isn’t causing chaos, he’s following Severus around adoringly and grabbing at his hand, whispering jokes in his ear and kissing his cheek. Despite all of the times he’s a pain in the ass, there are always these little moments that remind Severus why he fell in love with him in the first place (entirely unwillingly and with much stubborn pride on both ends, but, well. It is what it is and they got here eventually, so that’s all that matters).

When Lily visits, everything is calm. She reigns all of the Marauders in and forces them to have picnics under the tree where they all used to do homework. She often holds Severus’ hand and dances with him there, turning his insides to useless goo. She’s always full of laughter and fairy bells, and though she makes every student question their priorities and life decisions, she’s a favorite of them all. Not a day goes by that someone doesn’t pull him aside and say, “You’re a lucky, lucky man.” (Or, in James’ case: “Fuck, love, how’d we bloody manage that?” (Severus just shrugs. It’s not like he knows.))

He helps kids with autism feel more like they belong. He also works to educate non-autistic students how to better socialize and respect those who are, and takes extra care to dispel myths about autism and its causes, effects, and characteristics. Lily helps when she can.

Above all, Severus tries to give his students the education he never had. Anything he can provide for them he will. He’s been given a second chance and by Merlin is he going to bloody use it.

[tiredcath]

Zukka Fic Recs

after atla came back into pop culture i found myself falling back in love with zukka which resulted in me reading (almost) every zukka fic on ao3 and here are my favorites

Transference by The_Quatermasters (146k)

In a modern AU, Zuko has to deal with settling in a new school after expulsion, dealing with an angry ex and an abusive father. Maybe his new found friendships and growing closeness with Sokka will help him make it through. 

Borderlines by The_Quatermasters (73k)

Three years after the war, the work still isn't quite done and the Gaang is scattered across the continents in their efforts to help the world recover. When Aang and Katara pay visit to the Fire Nation where Zuko is Fire Lord and Sokka acts as Ambassador for the Water Tribe, sparks fly between the siblings over Sokka's life choices.

Ashes Inside When You Finish Your Song by Muncaster (47k)

Sokka writes lyrics for his sister’s band. Zuko plays piano and is unnecessarily nice. Fellas, is it gay to write love songs about your friend and his golden eyes?

(AKA, a modern band AU featuring The Gaang, crappy software equipment, homoerotic lyrics, and the realization that maybe, if you think about a guy every night before you sleep, you just might be in love with him.)

sirens & sleepless nights by Satirrian (54k)

Life can be pretty hard living in a city under a totalitarian regime. Between adhering to the ridiculous curfew, keeping himself from being gunned down by a passing patrolman, and paying his unnecessary tolls to the state for, say, breathing, Sokka has his hands full just getting to work. Add aiding a resistance group on top of that, and Sokka should really be getting paid for this.

Then, one night, Sokka finds an injured patrolman collapsed in the street, who tells him with blood on his lips, “If the patrol finds me, I’m dead.”

 Real Slow by surveycorpsjean (21k)

“I see.” Zuko closes the scroll. “Is the Water Tribe sending a replacement?”

“Uh yeah,” Sokka gestures to himself dramatically. “You’re looking at him.”

 First by HoneyBadgerMole (20k)

Zuko has been nurturing a crush on the jock in his AP Psych class but he has been too scared to talk to him until they get paired up for a project.

the benefits of getting a flat tire by LesbeanLatte (64k)

Zuko makes an impromptu decision to run away from home after a disturbing conversation with Azula. Unfortunately, some plans are better when they're actually, well, planned. Zuko isn't counting on getting a flat tire almost as soon as he's far enough away from the city to really be in the middle of nowhere.

Sokka is immediately taken with the stranger he and his friends find stranded on the side of the road during an afternoon joy ride. However, he has no idea what he's getting involved with and a kind attempt to help a fellow teen in need turns into a massive coverup for a missing person who just so happens to be the son of the mayor of Ba Sing Se.

Azula was just trying to help her big brother - in her own way - by telling him things she thought he deserved to know. Now the situation has gotten wildly out of control. Did she enjoy seeing Zuko upset and afraid? Of course. Had she intended to endanger his life? Not necessarily, but of course, her idiot brother overreacted to everything and that's what happened and now she doesn't know how to stop the chain of events she's indirectly put in place like dominoes.

Operation Leverage by snowandfire (50k)

Sokka's instincts are onto something great. Zuko just wants to serve tea and brood in peace. Ironically, Toph is the only one who can see what's really going on.

 The Stingray by Smediterranea (24k)

“You’re not carrying me.”

“I don’t mind,” the lifeguard says easily.

“I can just hop over.”

“On sand?”

Zuko will never admit it, but being carried feels pretty nice. The lifeguard sets him down and eyes him warily.

“Are you really all by yourself?” he asks in a worried tone. “No friends in town you can call to check on you?”

“No,” Zuko confirms. Tears are forming again with alarming speed; his foot throbs painfully with every passing second.

“What kind of burrito do you want?”

“You don’t have to —“ Zuko repeats.

“I’m getting al pastor. You like al pastor?”

 AU: Zuko falls for Sokka, the super hot lifeguard who helps him after an unfortunate encounter with a stingray.

 it's the illusion of separation by argentoswan (110k)

Sokka takes a job washing dishes at the new tea shop in town. It's a great gig, until he finds out his only coworker is his old high school bully. Sokka really should quit, but he also really needs to afford rent.

Also, Zuko is kind of hot now.

 People like to think war means something by trying_to_spell_both_our_names_at_once (21k)

Sokka was the first to leave.

Somehow that hurt the most. . . . Not long after Zuko becomes Firelord, forces gather in the South and next thing he knows he's thrown into a civil war with almost no one by his side. Maybe healing is longer and more complicated than it needs to be, but with the right people by your side it is always possible.

 a way that will destroy you by anothermistakemade (14k)

In the wake of Ozai's death, Zuko begins to fall apart. Sokka will do everything in his power to make sure that doesn't happen.

-

or, zuko might be losing his mind, but he also might just be really sad & traumatized

 Those Who Favor Fire by CSHfic, VSfic (30k)

After a failed attempt on his life, Sokka fakes his death, dons a disguise, and infiltrates the would-be assassin's ranks in an attempt to bring them down from the inside.

Zuko learns of his husband's tragic death, mourns, and vows revenge.

 Words Mean More at Night by DaisytheDoodleDog (28k)

Even ten years after the end of the war, rebellions rise and risk the balance of the nations. Sokka was willing to do anything to protect his people, which is perhaps why he's leading an army against the rebellion, attacking only as a last result. But Sokka's unwinding, it's taking a toll on him, and the only thing keeping him grounded are the letter Zuko and him exchange late in the night when no one can see the messenger hawks. But as they say, nothing's fair in love and war.

another word for wanting by eurydicees (23k)

Sokka begins to dream of his soulmate when he's eleven years old, and it just gets harder from there. Or, 125 moments soulmates share, and none of them come easy.

(In which your dreams are your soulmate's memories, and Sokka dreams of an all-consuming fire, growing and eating at his soulmate until it burns up the connection between their souls. In which they find love anyways.)

 It Has Only Just Begun by Kirazalea (39k)

There is a bitter triumph in crashing when you should be soaring

Zuko had now chosen the path his uncle had been trying so hard to show him; he had someone who believed in him, who maybe loved him; he was travelling with the Avatar and they apparently had a plan to end the war. By all accounts, Zuko should be smiling.

But Uncle was gone (captured by Azula, and Zuko didn't think she would kill him, but he didn’t, couldn’t, know for sure). The Avatar was barely breathing (he could still die at any second and there was nothing any of them could do about it). Azula had conquered the last Earth Kingdom stronghold (all those innocent people who were now at her mercy). It seemed like, for every step Zuko took forward, the world sent him back three more.

But he was determined to push forward anyways. He needed to make his uncle proud, even if it was the last thing he ever did.

aka: zuko joins the gaang at the end of season 2

 Nightmares and Reveries by HisMomoness (20k)

Zuko doesn't sleep because when he does, he's haunted by nightmares. Sokka worms his way into a job and makes it his mission to get Zuko to relax. Lots of head pets and one vacation to the South Pole later, Zuko might just be getting the hang of it.

Cue pining, some fluff, and eventual romance.

 The One Who Stopped Time by ohhihoney (66k)

All hope was lost to Zuko until one day, his uncle asked a random person at the Jasmine Dragon to tutor his nephew. Gritting his teeth and embarrassed beyond the point of no return, Zuko gave the blue eyed boy his number.

Little did Zuko know how much Sokka would change his world.

 Rubbed Off Stars by ohhihoney (2k)

Sokka wasn't going to just sit and watch the boy at the back of the bus cry while trying to rub off pride flags off his cheeks.

--------------

WIP

Ozymandias, King of Kings by Think_of_a_Wonderful_Thought (168k)

After that fateful Agni Kai, Ozai makes a different call. Branded as a traitor and banished to a prison camp, Zuko learns how cruel the Fire Nation can be to its citizens. Three years, a water tribe raid, and an unexpected meeting with a gang of over-enthusiastic idealistic children puts Zuko back in the spotlight. The revolution is coming and it wants another poster boy, but Zuko is not willing to lend his face to the cause.

 Another Brother by AvocadoLove (312k)

It was a mission of revenge. There weren't supposed to be any survivors, but Chief Hakoda couldn't bring himself to kill the Fire Nation boy. Against his better judgment, he brought him home. A Zuko joins the Water Tribe story.

--------------

BONUS : zuko x jet

Something to Hold Onto by Wildgoosery (122k)

Since the day the walls of Ba Sing Se fell, the Freedom Fighters have struggled to protect what remains of the city and its people. Jet and his second command, a mysterious boy named Li, have spent the summer piecing together an army, hoping for a chance to take the city back for good. But Li is also Zuko, and the time for that secret is quickly running out. Soon, he'll have to decide exactly who he is, what cause he's going to fight for, and where his heart lies.

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

I respect your opinion, and even if our opinions do not agree, I always read your posts with rapture. My question is: if I understood correctly(correct me if I’m wrong),you think that Jancy and Jopper don’t have a deep connection, while Byler does? How does it manifest? Jancy and Jopper have always supported each other, they have a deep connection both emotionally and mentally. While Mike in Season 3 left a friend for a girl. I have nothing against Byler, just want to read your arguments

I appreciate your kind words. I can probably safely say that you are the first person to ever claim to feel rapturous because of me. The following is, naturally, my opinion, and, while I believe it to be an educated opinion, it is as such not meant to cause offense if it clashes with your or anyone else’s opinion.

 think Jancy and Jopper are relationships with a mutual attraction. The problem is they haven’t really had much opportunity to develop in a healthy fashion. I don’t think either relationship is necessarily bad, but they are both still formed on a foundation of shared traumatic experience. Yes, each couple was acquainted before the supernatural horror entered their lives, but they weren’t close. They ended up growing close as they supported each other through the various crises that have cropped up. When we see them not in the midst of trauma, they are shown not really understanding each other very well. 

Mike and Will, on the other hand, have known each other, and have been best friends, since kindergarten. Mike has always been intensely protective of Will and fearful of something happening to him. The thought of losing Will has been a great fear of his since season 1. Will and Mike trust each other in a way they don’t with anyone else. They reveal secrets to each other, sharing their vulnerabilities. Will starts to regain some semblance of control over himself after Mike relates the story of their first meeting. You can literally see his eyes change from a blank stare when Mike starts speaking to teary eyes when Mike finishes. 

Season 3 was there to show us that every relationship had problems, but we never really got to see any definitive resolution for any of them. Jonathan and Nancy had no understanding of each other’s unique goals, insecurities, or hurdles, and this led to their fight. Jonathan couldn’t accept that Nancy, as a woman, needed to work twice as hard to get accepted. Nancy was blind to the fact that Jonathan couldn’t afford to blow the internship since he didn’t have family resources to fall back on. We never really see them apologize and acknowledge what each other are going through, and Jonathan even tosses Nancy’s careless Oliver Twist jab back at her. Meanwhile, Hopper and Joyce are just a mess. Joyce is still mourning Bob. Hopper asks her out to dinner, but also promises it’s not a date. Nevertheless, when she skips out on it to talk to Mr. Clark, he becomes enraged with her and bounces between admiration and callousness towards her for the remainder of the season. Neither one felt comfortable just telling the other their feelings. They finally agree on a real date at the end (where they weren’t even sure they would survive), but I don’t recall either one really apologizing (correct me if I’m wrong).

Mike and Will’s problems, meanwhile, aren’t about the failure to build the relationship, but, rather, the apparent (in Will’s mind) decline of it. It starts small, with Will being annoyed at Mike spending a lot of time with El (being late to the movie and bailing on Dustin’s radio booster). Still, we see that Mike is still intensely concerned for Will at the movie, and we see how much it hurts Will when it seems like Mike doesn’t care anymore. Their problems come across as more genuine because of their already established bond. Their fight is showcased as very dramatic, and perhaps even tragic, compared to the other two. We also see how each one is uniquely upset, with Mike chasing Will to apologize (Mike never apologizes that easily) and Will tearing down Castle Byers in anguish.

Mike and Will is also a unique situation in that they’re both boys. This makes it hard for both of them to even understand their feelings, let alone accept them. Mike is off trying to force a clearly empty relationship (all kissing, no shared interests or conversation) with El. He may well know that he has “inappropriate” feelings for Will, or he may just be unconsciously displacing his feelings onto El. Either way, comparing his “break ups” with both El and Will, we can see which one hurt him more. Meanwhile, Will is stuck in the cliche position of “gay kid in love with his best friend but has to pretend he isn’t.” This is the case whether he knows it or not. The fact that they’re both hiding feelings (from either themselves or each other) is a stark contrast to the trust they normally share. Their scene when Will packs up his D&D set for donation is a bit closer towards being honest, but still guarded. They use D&D as a stand-in for their feelings, with Mike afraid that Will is moving on, but Will reassuring him that it’s “not possible.” Neither one is ready just yet, but they’re letting each other know their feelings are still there.

Time makes relationships. Neither Jopper nor Jancy have really had the opportunity needed to grow compared to Byler. Jopper never really got going, and Jancy seems to have some problems that fans either don’t notice or prefer to ignore. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, shared traumatic experiences do not magically make for good relationships. It’s not impossible for them to become closer, but it would have to happen as it would with any relationship. Supporting each other is only one part of a relationship, and Jancy and Jopper have some elements of that, though Season 3 shows us that it’s still sorely lacking. Mike and Will already had all of this before the show even started. 

It makes me sad and angry sometimes when fans don’t even notice how strong Mike and Will’s feelings are for each other, but instead see new, struggling (and somewhat problematic) relationships as cute and romantic. Jancy and Jopper are both somewhat promising, but flawed, relationships that just haven’t had time, or the correct environment, to grow close. Byler has problems, but those problems are rooted in the fact that they were already very close, but in a situation where their closeness is changing meaning. I suppose it’s a bit of a cheat to have Byler ahead naturally simply because they were already written as close, but it still sets them apart from other couples.

[official-michael-afton]

We met in a Sonic parking lot

I wanted to write out something of how Mikey and @animdude-official first met... I accidentally made it more sad then I meant to but the ending is just as chaotic and gay as their relationship so AYY

Content warnings: PTSD and traumatic flashbacks, dissociation, unintentional self harm(staying in cold for too long). Read at your own risk!

It was cold. Colder than it normally was for 2 in the morning, at least. Mike sighed, tugging on the sleeves of his hoodie as if that’d offer him any more heat. When had he even gone outside? Why? He was running from something- he never goes out at 2am unless something’s causing him distress, but he can’t even remember what it was this time. Same trauma, probably? … He should probably go to therapy. Guess it didn’t matter, though. The zombie looked around, trying to figure out where he wandered off to in his spell of dissociation. Downtown Hurricane, in the parking lot of… a Sonic. Huh. Well that’s… new.

“What am I even doing…” He murmured to himself as he sat down on the concrete divider between asphalt and grass, observing how each breath he took let out a small puff of condensation. He didn’t even realize how cold he was until he looked down at his hands, observing how violently they shivered. For some reason, this made him get… mad? He tried to force his muscles to relax, but he kept shivering. Ugh, stupid body! Can it EVER do anything right?! … Can he ever do anything right?!

“Dammit…” Michael hissed at his eyes warmed up- heated by tears that started to roll down his cheeks. Why was he crying?! He wasn’t even sad, if anything he was angry! The more he got furious at himself, the more tears welled up and fell. His chest heaved as he fell into near hyperventilation, letting out one small yell of frustration before throwing his head down and holding it with his hands.

Small gasps of air before sobs echoed around him, the surrounding area might as well have faded to black as he fell out of touch with reality once again. No, no, not here, he can’t break here, not somewhere he can be vulnerable to robbery or worse…

He pulled his hands away from his head enough to look down at his hands. His shivering hands. His hands. That’s how he can ground himself, by observing what’s going on around him… what’s the exercise? 5 4 3 2 1?

5 things he can see.

His hands- His shivering hands. There’s one… the hoodie he wears all the time and really needs to wash… the old sneakers he wore- worn and scuffed but still good… the asphalt of the parking lot… the body before him-

No- NO! He’s NOT going back there! He refuses. He refuses. He won’t remember that night. He’s not there now, he’s not. He’s in a dumb parking lot. He won’t remember. Not here, not now.

4 things he can hear.

His breathing- uneven, but he’s still breathing. Unlike her- NO, NO! Next one! He can hear the faint plips as his tears fell onto the ground below him… the soft hum or an airplane far over him… the cars that drove in the parking lot, not knowing they were in the alley behind the diner-

“STOP!!!” He yelled to himself, pushing those memories back to the back of his mind, He’s NOT there, he’s NOT that child that found the body of his best friend, he’s in a GODDAMN SONIC PARKING LOT.

3 things he can feel.

The curls in his hair as he tugged at his locks again- The rain that soaked them to the bone- How cold her skin was.

“No… Please…” No matter where he tried to look, his mind was still in that alleyway. He wasn’t this adult anymore; he was a child again. He wasn’t himself. He was… staring at Charlie. They were young- he couldn’t remember how old. It was too late to save her. She was still wearing that green bracelet… the security puppet wrapped around her, soaked to the point of being broken.

2 things he can smell.

Metal. Metal. He knew what it really was, but it smelt JUST LIKE METAL.

1 thing he can taste.

METAL METAL M̴E̴T͜AL M̶E̸͢T͠A͜L̷ M̴̴̡E̶͠͠͏͟T̨͟͡͡Ą̧́͞L̶̷̕҉̶

“Um- a-are you okay?”

… That wasn’t her voice… it wasn’t his either… what?

Mike looked up, eyes wide in shock at the presence suddenly beside him. There was some adult looking down at him, looking… almost scared? Oh, they must see the body…

… Wait. No… there wasn’t some random adult that found them. No, no, that’s- that’s because he’s not… he’s not back there. He’s in the stupid Sonic parking lot… he’s not a child anymore, he grew up…

Wait. Shit. He was asked a question.

“Oh- u-um-” Mike stammered, wiping the tears from his eyes as he tried to keep his spirit in his body. Memories threatened to flood back and bring him to those awful places again, but he forced a smile while he fought. Fought to stay grounded and not make this stranger worry. “Haha, s-sorry, was I making a scene? I’m a dramatic lil dork~”

The stranger took a step back, eyes wide. Wait, what? No, Mike put on the cute act to calm them, not scare them more. Why did they look scared? What did he do wrong? Fuck, no, he can’t let his shell crack, this never happens he’s supposed to pass as FINE why can’t he JUST BE FINE-

“Do… um… do-do you want to get some milkshakes?” They pointed to the Sonic, offering a wary smile.

… What. They’re… being nice… but why? Didn’t Michael scare them? Aren’t they afraid- or at least revolted by how- how he was in the middle of a breakdown?

… and yet, them being here kept him HERE and not that alley…

“A-Are you sure? I mean- you- w-we don’t- um… know each other?”

“Well, um…” They scratched the back of their head, fumbling just as much as Mike to think of the right words. “You just… s-seemed to be uh- a little upset by yourself, I-I just thought… you know.”

They were… kind. And not the sinister type of kind that someone with bad intentions would be. It was like trying to make friends on the first day of school, in a way. They were both shy “… I don’t have any cash on me…”

“I have a- a few dollars, if you really want something?” They smiled, and Mike’s heart skipped a beat. Woah. That was… weird. All it took was smile for this person to go from a random dude to something almost like a magnet, drawing Mike in.

He probably shouldn’t say yes, but… “Well, i-if you’re okay with paying.”

An order placed. Vanilla with caramel for them. Extra dark chocolate for Mike. Payment, delivery, and now they both sat on that concrete divider. Just… sitting. Drinking. It was cold outside, too cold for angels to fly, too cold for milkshakes… but how could Mike turn down a milkshake? It was… oddly comforting.

“Y-You know, most people don’t… don’t like the cold, b-but its… nice, at this hour.” The stranger spoke again, trying to start a conversation.

Mike felt numb from the cold, but… it was far better than the breakdown he was having earlier. He decided to keep the conversation going. “It’s quiet… helps you think, right?”

“Yeah! You- You get it!” They smiled, seeming genuinely happy to connect with him. “Like- how the stars get clear and you can see them- a-a-and how it’s almost- like another world!”

“Mhm…” Mike took another sip of his shake before fiddling with the straw. “I’m… I’m Michael, by the way.”

They smiled, that same smile that made his heart skip a beat again. “Michael… I’m Anim- well, Scott… Well- I- uh-”

“You use two names, I guess?” Mike looked up at the other.

“We-Well, most call me Anim… it’s just- you know- my family calls me Scott, h-haha…”

… There was something weird about how he said that. Not a nickname thing, that was normal. But… there was something in the tone. The way he tried to laugh it off… it was like how Mike always tried to laugh off his trauma. … Of course, of course he’s hiding something hurting him. No mentally sane man would be in a Sonic parking lot at 2 in the morning, buying milkshakes for some stranger… was this Anim like Michael? … Maybe that’s something he can bring up later.

“… My brother’s name is Scott.” Mike decided to just keep the small talk going, not wanting to lose the friend he just made by prying too much. “He goes by “Red” though, not “Anim”, so that’s funny how you both have nicknames.”

“Oh, y-you have a brother? That’s neat!” Anim seemed to relax, probably grateful that Mike didn’t pry into the name business. “I um- don’t have a uh- any siblings, b-but! I have 3 kids, so there- there’s that!”

“Oh, you’re a dad? That’s awesome! I always wanted kids…” Mike trailed off, smiling at the fantasy of starting his own family one day…

“Well, if you want, um, i-if you don’t want to- to go home tonight, I can let you st-stay over at our house?” Anim asked gently, as if hesitant… probably wondering if it’s appropriate to ask something to someone who’s practically a stranger.

“… Pff, wow, you’re uh… awfully trusting of bringing a stranger to your family… how do you know I’m not some- some serial killer or something?”

He shrugged “You… don’t seem like that type, o-or something. I don’t know. I don’t just… want to leave you here when-” as he spoke, he moved a hand to gently pat Mike on the shoulder, but almost immediately pulled it away “O-Oh my gosh, you’re freezing-!” Before Mike could argue, Anim had already grabbed his free hand, holding it tightly as Mike saw the way his pupils visibly shrunk in shock “You- You’re like ice! How long were you out here-?!”

“I… don’t know…” Mike admitted shamefully, glancing off to the side. He stopped feeling cold forever ago, he just felt numb now. But, with the way his hand was held, he felt nothing but warmth…

“Oh no, o-oh no, I shouldn’t have kept y-you out here- c-c’mon, I need to get you somewhere warm, m-my house isn’t far from here, you can stay and warm up!”

Michael almost said no. How could accept such a kind offer from someone he didn’t know? How could he trust this stranger who may not have good intentions? How could he…

Yet, the warmth he felt when the other held his hand… this was a warmth he was determined to protect with his life.

“Okay, if it’s alright, then- aH-” He yelped when Anim grabbed him rather suddenly, literally sweeping him off his feet and carrying him, making sure his jacket was wrapped around them both before hurriedly carrying him back to his home. There was certainly an urgency in his step- was he worried Mike would freeze to death? How strange… to have so much trust in each other when they just met, it shouldn’t be how it works. He should feel cold- afraid- distant…

And yet, all he felt was warmth.

[maevelin]

Episode 1x05

1. Five has lived such a hard life. Truly. And in the end all that it mattered to him was to get back to save his family. He is such a cynic but he genuinely cares!

And he literally is a master assassin! That alone makes him one of my faves! 

Seriously though....An adult that is a master assassin trapped in a child’s body. Dude that’s rough LOL...Although imagine the options!

Although he does get a second chance and I feel that despite everything he may be the most emotionally balanced and driven person from their group.  Which does not say much because they are all messed up big time so even in comparison we are still talking about a mess but yeah.

Let us face it. He is the only one that actually seems to pay attention to his siblings. Klaus most of all. He actually bothers to ask and care for his well being too. Sure he is also interested in the time travel part but he actively cares for his family despite how smug he can be and how big his ego is. He is also jaded from time too but still has a heart. He is wise too.

And at least Five can see the bigger picture here. This is why I think has a plan otherwise he wouldn’t follow the handler that easily.

Although his only perspective is not the way to go. He needs more than what he can do alone. He needs his family. Not just to save them. But to let them save him too. Together to save the world.

Which reminds me.

“That’s murder.

...Jesus Luther, grow up”

Should I point out that Luther’s spiel about a code makes no sense when he does not have any? Not truly. Sure he has some morals here and there but are they his? His code was only the indoctrination he received form daddy dearest. At least everyone else took some distance and tried to form their own personalities. He remained the dutiful son. I wonder how is that working out of him lol

And he is so desperate to take upon the mantle of the leader...like dude chill. And if we go by age at this point you could try see past appearance if you are leader material and acknowledge that Five is actually much older than you and take that under consideration instead of dismissing him mentally because you only see your kid brother.

At this point I feel that the only genuine emotions he has separate from his father are the incestuous feelings he has for his sister which is twisted on its own even more than the rest. I mean...

2. The end of everything?...Not everything...the end of something.

I admit that’s interesting. Also I always find it amusing. For every dystopian futuristic apocalypse humans act as if everything in earth is their survival and theirs alone when in reality either way Earth goes on and maybe even in better conditions without the human race in it. We are never humble when we imagine such a future are we?

3. Klaus....KLAUS.

Sure...let me start a new show I say...let me enjoy a new series I say... let me let it break my heart, rip it out of my chest and stomp all over it!

The scene comes with Klaus in the bus and I am in pieces. I can’t! And then the pain keeps on coming!

I can’t believe that all his siblings ever saw him as a joke when he is obviously hurting as much as they do if not more. And now...now it is all coming to a head and they still do not see it. Klaus barely moves and he talks slowly and is silent and looks as if he has quit life and they still don’t see it Unless he breaks down in front of them in all the dramatic crying and spell it out for them they don’t realize it. 

Five saw it . Diego had time to see it but even that had to be stretched thin for him to actually see his brother suffering. 

How can Klaus’ pain be so invisible to his family? How is that even possible? 

And the show keeps breaking him more and more and I...

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SHOW THAT THEY HAVE TO KEEP HURTING KLAUS SO MUCH AND LIKE THAT? WHY???? HE DOES NOT DESERVE THAT! LEAVE HIM ALONE! STOP!

My boy is so depressed. In pieces. Suffering from PTSD of all sorts. 

And...Dave. HOLY SHIT! That picture. The sounds of the bombs...The war...Klaus is a Veteran...he served in the war...and is now suffering loss and post traumatic effects. SHIT!

OMFG! I CAN’T DO THIS! IT HURTS SO MUCH! 

I would like to add that I would also pretty much appreciate it if when Klaus says someone tortured him ...for others to actually oh I don’t know...MAYBE ACKNOWLEDGE IT?

- Kudos to the actor for his acting! Either it is his dramatic acting or his comedic timing. He owns it! 

3.5. Klaus’ and Diego’s scenes WERE PRICELESS!

And that ice cream truck scene..go faster!....WEEHEEEEE!

I Couldn’t stop laughing LMAO

4. I am getting more and more attached with Diego. His stutter and his anger. I liked the potential her had with Eudora and I got sad in the last episode when she died but as I watch the episode now I feel that as a plot it is the kind of one that serves for a male character’s pain and was a bit unnecessary. I don’t like the disposable woman trope for the sake of male development and here it feels so not needed because I am relating with Diego for reasons that don’t have anything to do with Eudora’s loss. His speech issues, his anger, the way he viewed his mom, his scenes with Luther and Klaus. All these things make him interesting and show layers in him. Sure I get his pain with Eudora now but they could have gone without that and I could have kept the ship you know!

Anyhow I start to relate to Diego a lot. And the fact that he actually bothered to ask Klaus if he was okay and then followed him and helped him surely helped me liking him even more. And they connected over their loss which is probably very rare for them to do so if it has even happened before (although we still get in the way the tragic bury your gays trope and the fridging of female characters)...but all in all when Klaus opened up to Diego and Diego was there...it broke my heart but also mended it a little bit too.

BROWNIE POINTS FOR THEIR BRAWL! GO GO GO! 

I think what in the end wins me over with Diego is that he gives the most sibling vibe out of every other sibling in the sense that when you pair him with any of the brothers and the sisters you immediately get the sibling vibe either it is the funny kind or the annoying kind or the strained kind. The caring is there, the annoying each other is there, the I am the one to mess with my family but no one else is allowed is there, I will kick their asses but I will always have their backs is there, the I can’t stand them is there etc. He fights with Luther and they ignite each other and you still see the brothers. Same with Klaus now. I got glimpses with Five. Even with Vanya even when he called her a liability while still being angry with her. With Allison too to an extent. That kind of dynamics with him work perfectly. 

I have seen him so far with his family and I just feel like how is how brothers act with each other or how a brother acts with their sisters and so on and with Diego is effortless.

5. The thing with Vanya will not end well. It can’t be a coincidence that she is getting her powers only days before the apocalypse.

So if she was taking the pills from her childhood it means that her abusive dad got her hooked on them and once she cuts them she gets energetic and happy and has a sharper edge to the way she perceives the world. And as always in such shows powers are related to emotions. Now that she is off the meds she gets her make up, she gets more confident in her responses, she is succeeding. And with the creepy guy giving her calculated nudges she opens up more and more. So the drugs kept her subdued? Why? There was a ripple when she was playing the violin. So she has powers too powers that were hibernating because of the drugs. 

And the end scene with the ripple going all through town...in the creep’s attic next to the violinist he killed was the book Klaus’ threw away in the pilot right? The one Pogo was looking? Their dad’s book. So it has something to do with Vanya and her powers that are now awakening.

How did her father screw up with her too? At this point it is more or less finding the ways their dad didn’t mess them up instead of the other way around.

6. Pogo and Grace. Something is definitely up and of course it all ties together with the end of the world right? 

And Diego had to be right. Mom is feeling things for sure.

7. Luther’s attitude tires me a lot even though I get where he is coming from. He is just so...righteous? In a weird way. And has the kind of alpha male traits I find off putting.  

8. I am finding Allison boring for the most part of it. The moment she is not in a scene I seem to forget she exists if I am being honest here so I can only hope that her arc is leading into something big.

9. Hazel and that waitress are kind of cute.

P.s: 

- That bar fight! LOL...Klaus HEAD BUTTING ASSHOLES and jumping on backs to get into the brawl! 

“I would like to apologize that you are depriving some village OF THEIR IDIOT!”

YEAH BABY! And the difference between him staying out of fights and throwing fire extinguishers in the first episode and now going all in. My baby has grown! 

- Loved the Easter eggs we got with the people/historical figures Five actually killed.

[sapphic-kid-blog]

the truth is.

Angela Salmeron

Imagine you’re me. You’re twelve and you’re at a family reunion. Family members sitting around you with Wisconsin-made beer turn from the Brewers game on the television and resort to the one question that you’ve been practicing how to answer in your head: “How’s school?” And truthfully, you’re not sure. So perhaps you respond: “It’s fine.” They nod their heads and you think you’re in the clear. But then they ask you: “What are you learning?” And before you know it they’re tacking on the end: “Any cute boys?”

Now I’m sure it varies from family to family, and I’m sure the questions vary in more or less intrusive. Maybe it was never asked, and maybe it was a family friend and not an uncle or cousin. Maybe it was asked but not directly, or enforced another way. But one question for me, stood tall and it stood out among the rest. 

My brain was no longer thinking about what we talked about in Social Studies or the book we read in English. It was no longer thinking about the new formula we learned in Math, or the cycle of the ecosystem in Science. It was thinking about one thing, and the one thing that I had no idea how to talk about: romantic intimacy. 

From the time I got my period at the end of 6th grade, to the time I finished high school, and even sometimes now, I thought I was the odd one out or the only one who wasn’t experiencing romantic intimacy the way others would. Not kissing or hand holding but even things as simple as a crush. 

What I felt was embarrassment. 

Firstly, I never really had crushes or really knew what they were. Friendships in a way felt like crushes to me, and when I had no idea what romantic or sexual intimacy was, I felt confused. So then, I stopped introspecting and I started observing. 

The romantic relationships I saw were comprised of these aspects: wanting to be around a person, telling that person that you didn’t just like them but you like-liked them, and then saying that you now were exclusively partners or “dating”. 

Most importantly: not only were those girls, who were mostly my friends, doing this but they were, as I noticed, only doing this with boys. 

I followed suit. 

Come the first day of band camp — set in a gym at one of the two middle schools in my small, conservative city. With my clarinet in hand, I watched as other girls talked about boys from different schools. I watched as they giggled and flocked in groups to discuss which ones they’d be excited to see in the starting 6th grade class coming up in a few months. 

I saw the first tall boy, who was decently good looking, and told the girls around me: “He’s cute.”  One of the girls turned to me and said, “That’s (let’s call him) Snazzlepants and there’s his twin, (and he’ll be) Fizzywizzy.” Quickly, I acted as though I was still not only interested, but now blown away by the look of this gangly preteen walking amongst the group of kids. 

This was when everything I knew about myself would be different. 

Luckily when the beginning of September rolled around, this boy was in my 6th grade house, also known as the set of students I’d be sharing a side of the middle school with. So as I eventually made friends, the more I had to absolutely drop the fact that I had a crush on a boy. I had to tell them that maybe it would happen between us because one time, I saw him looking at me (wasn’t true) and one time we brushed hands (definitely wasn’t true). They’d be dazzled, awe in their eyes, and I didn’t feel embarrassed, I felt included and important. 

The more twisted I became in this lie, the more I had to not only convince others around me, but I had to convince myself. Not even the bullying from his friends after they all found out would stop me from speaking my lie aloud to anyone who wanted to hear it. 

I spent the days either convincing myself and others that I absolutely loved him or crying because his friends would call me ugly or stupid and annoying over a lie that I was choosing to spread. But it was better than the alternative, of being singled out and feeling as though I was the only one who felt differently than the rest; it was better than admitting a lie. 

This is the first time in my life I felt like I would rather die.

Growing up in my small city of West Bend, Wisconsin, was strange. The town as I knew it was mostly white and definitely a majority, conservative white. There weren’t many people who looked like my dad, dark-skinned, and Spanish speaking, and there weren’t many people growing up around me that I knew who were part of the queer community. But my family, especially my mom, were active in the Democrat party and sticking up for civil rights. I was lucky, I suppose in a lot of aspects to know that if I ever were to come out as anything other than cis and heterosexual, I would not be living on the streets. 

However, being surrounded by a lot of religious friends, spewing the words of their parents, I quickly found out that not everyone was lucky the way I was. I found out that even though my parents taught me, gay was okay, not everyone felt the same. And not only did they not feel the same, they would hate someone specifically because they were queer identifying. 

I traumatized myself with movies like Brokeback Mountain and Boys Don’t Cry, thinking if I too were to express myself that way, I would meet a violent end. The media told me, I would be hated if I were like them, made me believe that I would find the same fate. It was an ending worse than being alone. 

Loving who I wanted to love, because of where I lived, was not an option. It was not even questioned as an option. And even though I hated myself, for telling a lie, for having to deal with the many shitty aspects of that lie, I would continue to tell that lie.

Moving on, I continued to have so-called “crushes” on boys. I continued to force myself into situations that I was uncomfortable in because I wanted to seem normal, and I wanted to seem like there was nothing gay about me. And so, the lie festered. 

I ignored signs of my queerness, and forgot them or didn’t realize what they were. Stealing my dad’s PlayBoys, hiding them under my bed, searching “girls kissing” on YouTube, watching exclusively Lesbian porn only meant I was exploring other options, and though the only option that appealed to me was women, still, it didn’t have to mean I wasn’t straight. Maybe it wasn’t as complex or scary as my thoughts were telling me. So I told myself, it didn’t matter because I could choose. I chose heteronormativity. 

When it came to high school and crushes in a more traditional sense, dating and going to dances, losing one’s virginity, I became angry. Not because I wasn’t doing it but because if I wanted to do it, I’d have to do it with a guy so to perpetuate the lie. 

Getting rid of the last guy, I had moved on to another: one of my best friend’s boyfriends (who’re still dating). This had become a new trend since the stages after my first “crush”; only liking boys that your close friends liked. And I remember so clearly, stepping on so many toes, making so many of my friend’s angry, and pissed off at me. I remember desperately wanting attention, not just from boys but from anybody because I was so sad, and I didn’t know why. 

This was the second time in my life that I wanted to die. 

Now my journal is filled with pictures of prescription bottles, bleeding wrists, and rants about how I just wanted to go away. How I was so angry to be able to breathe rhythmically and have a working heart with a steady beat, mocking me and reminding me that I was alive and I had this pain inside of me that seemed to have no real source. 

When I read back on my words, I am quite literally stunned by the anger, the hatred, and the wish for a violent death. 

I was 18 when I realized what was different. 

One of the first notable girls I had feelings for, changed literally everything. My life, my experiences in childhood, my views about myself, and so many more aspects of my personal life were all ultimately flipped upside down. I knew that this had to be what I was missing in all those years, even if I was still afraid to say it, or even think it. Up until now, romance had been dramatic, painful, gestures had been grand and demanding, and thoughts had been intrusive and obsessive. But now, romance was soft. It was gentle and uplifting, it was simple and it felt so much more palatable. Until I broke up with her on New Year’s Eve because I still just wasn’t gay— nope, not for me. 

And then, I fell in love for the first time. I loved her voice, her eyes; I loved the way that she said my name. I loved her jokes and the way she made me laugh. I loved that no matter what, everything was comfortable with her. For the first time, I pictured myself in the future, being with someone and being happy. 

Finally, I was able to admit to myself: yes, I love women, and the floodgates opened. 

After my girlfriend and I broke up, I dated handfuls of girls (most of which, never lasted longer than a month) because still, intimacy was such an issue. Maybe, it wasn’t that I liked girls but maybe it was certain girls. Or maybe, I wasn’t pansexual, bisexual, queer, lesbian, or whatever I was identifying at the time, perhaps, I was straight and I just experimenting. It could be possible, I’d never know and maybe, just maybe, this confusion would always be there, no matter what I did. 

I was tired; so tired of not knowing, and I just wanted answers. 

There’s something funny about being a gay woman, that isn’t funny at all. It’s the fear of what your life would be like without men— it’s the shame of imagining what you’d feel without the demanding presence of men. It’s the lie that you can only be serious in relationships with men, have children with men, and your life and everything you know to be true, revolves around men. I couldn't picture myself loving women, without also loving men. 

But someone else could. 

My sister has always been a huge presence in my life. And one day we’d just happen to be feeling the single life, so the conversation between us starts with: “We’ll be alone forever, haha.”

What was so different about this conversation was her so sure statement to me that I’d definitely have a wife. 

I turned to her and paused before asking, “Can you even picture me with a man? Or marrying a man?”

Her response, so simple and so true, was: “Nope.” 

Identifying as a Lesbian, now more than ever, feels so right to me. It feels like an identity in which I belong to. It’s a part of me that I’m proud of and it’s a part of me that I can’t change, no matter how much I lie to myself. It’s a part of me I never realized was there until years and years of thinking there was something wrong with me. I am proud to love women. I am proud to have a woman in my life to love. I am proud of the relationship that gives me hope for the future. And I’m proud of other gay relationships that make me feel a sense of belonging and solidarity. 

Of course, there are still struggles: the question if I’m gay enough to have my sexuality be validated, if other people can sense I’m gay, if I’ll be safe, secure, and happy. And there definitely still are some shameful doubts, some questions which make me wonder if some people in my life who know I’m gay, resent me for it. I wonder if there are people in my family, who know, and are too afraid of me to express not only tolerance but support. I wonder if there are some who wouldn’t come to my wedding. 

In the end, I sometimes wonder if it’s all worth it. 

And then I hear powerful and inspiring stories from other members of the queer community, I see their faces shining for me and people like me to be represented. 

And then I remember seeing my uncles love each other so endlessly.

And then I hear her voice, and know without a fraction of a doubt that it’s worth it. 

[storytell]

a guide to my muses!

i’ll basically be summarizing my muses’ general personality and then adding important info like age, sexuality, gender identity, etc. this is so people who don’t know a lot of my muses can get a general idea for each muse as well as learn whether or not a certain muse is compatible for platonic or romantic ships! i highly encourage people to reach out to me if there’s any specific muse that catches your interest!

twain: dumbass sniper with a heart of gold, loves adventure and all things fun. 22, very bi, male (he/him).

tetcho: stoic swordsman with no social skills and a thing for justice. 29, demiromantic asexual (preference for men), male (he/him).

margaret: kickass woman who will criticize your fashion sense with no holds barred. 20, bi, female (she/her).

gogol: violent idiot clown with constant mood swings and neverending bloodlust who likes guessing games. 28, gay, male (he/him but will accept they/them)

natsume: cat who is actually a man. 65, demiromantic ace (with no desire for romance, he just wants to be a cat), male (he/him).

ranpo: genius detective, very childish and will call you stupid. 26, gay, male (he/him).

mushitaro: very dramatic and demanding but honestly is not a bad guy. 26, bi, male (he/him).

ayatsuji: another genius detective but less childish and more of a doll collecting asshole. 28, demi, male (he/him).

kajii: mad scientist/bomber who really really likes lemons. 28, demi, male (he/him).

lovecraft: ocean man take me by the hand lead me to the land. 29(????), ????, ???? (????)

katai: recluse hacker who basically lives in his futon. 23, bi, male (he/him).

shibusawa: awful. 34, bi, agender (he/she/they).

topaz: traumatized child who needs to be saved from the port mafia. 15, aroace, male (he/him).

agatha: sophisticated woman who will offer you everything you want so she can use you easier. 30, bi (but good fucking luck), female (she/her).

gide: trash man with PTSD who is apparently not afraid to kill children, i hate him. 32, gay (but why would you want that), male (he/him).

lucy: tsundere to the maximum with a tragic backstory, basically tsun annie. 19, biromantic demisexual, female (she/her).

ochi: commander of the hunting dogs and just as excitable as an actual dog. 45, bi, male (he/him).

dogra magra: if you’re not q you might as well just die. 13-15, aroace, female (she/her)

akutagawa: very homicidal, once compared someone’s face to a broad bean, only eats to satisfy hunger. edgy. 20, demiromantic ace, male (he/him)

yuzu: a small girl in a gang. probably has a knife. 13, bi (i cannot stress enough that i will not ship her with anyone older than 15), female (she/her).

steinbeck: communist grape man who desires to kill the wealthy. 21, gay (closeted), male (he/him).

poe: goth author with a pet raccoon and a flair for the dramatic. 28, gay, male (he/him).

genji: cyborg ninja who was a playboy, then he was edgy, and now he is not as edgy. 35, bi, male (he/him).

tracer: mate it’s hard to explain mate it’s just like one day you’ll just be wif your mates having a look in jd and you might fancy curry club at the ‘Spoons but your lad Calum who’s an absolute ledge and the archbishop of banterbury will be like ‘brevs lets have a cheeky nandos instead.” and you’ll think “Top. Let’s smash it.”. 26, lesbian, female (she/her).

widowmaker: minimal feelings, will snipe you with no remorse. 33, aroace (was bi pre-conditioning), female (she/her).

ashe: rebel cowgirl who is very rich and full of spite. 39, lesbian, female (she/her).

momiji: WINE AUNT. 23, bi, female (she/her).

gentle: youtube criminal who just wants attention and to be remembered, has a heart of gold. 32, bi, male (he/him).

pixie bob: cats cats cats cats cats cats cats cats!!! 31, bi, female (she/her).

manga: comic boy, a good boy, a good hearted good boy. 15, bi/ace, male (he/him).

roland: church man who wants to share the lord’s love with every vampire. is definitely a vampire fucker. 24, gay, male (he/him).

all of love: perfect and good servamp who loves everyone and adopts abused or abandoned children so he can give them a good life, so very good and deserving of love. appears 27, bi, genderfluid (he/she/they).

the mother: has resting bitch face but loves jokes and is generally very confused. appears 23, bi, female (she/her). 

tsurugi: will do anything for money, can talk to crows, very sad but very memey. 26, gay (but will go on dates with girls for money), male (he/him).

belkia: STABBY. appears 25, gay, male (he/him).

ray: very very extremely in love with gil. appears 24, gay (but will ONLY be shipped with gil), male (he/him).

tetsu: stupid but well meaning. 14, gay, male (he/him).

gear: a sad man who lives in a sick church basement with his bitter thoughts. appears 19, bi, male (he/him).

niccolo: very frightened mafia boss. easily startled. 31, bi/ace, male (he/him).

iori: to quote himself he is single and living with 2 hamsters. 36, bi, male (he/him).

minami: fanboy who just wants to have a fun time skating. 17, bi, male (he/him).

seung-gil: he seems like he’s being rude but he is actually just kind of socially stupid. 20, gay, male (he/him).

shiroe: epic gamer moment! 23, gay, male (he/him).

maryelle: she’s like mom but disaster mom. 28, bi, female (she/her).

tatara: reclusive swordsmith who likes being cool and making swords. 25, lesbian, female (she/her).

dinkuron: a SWEET BOY who loves to travel and is picky about his friends. 21, bi, male (he/him).

rieze: tries her best to be prim and proper but secretly likes to mess with people. 26, bi, female (she/her). 

KR: filthy rich idiot boy fluent in 4 languages and also a massive kamen rider fan. 29, bi, male (he/him).

souji: sword BOOOOOOOY! he’s very spicy when he gets angry. 29, bi/ace, male (he/him).

kinjo: not very good with expressions and is the epitome of neutral good. ignore that i have him as true neutral in his bio. ???, demi/ace, male (he/him).

alibaba: chaotic good boy who just wants the world to be a nice place. 19-22, bi, male (he/him).

koumei: very tired let him sleep. 27-30, demi/ace, male (he/him).

lan wangji: mm. estimated around 34 or older, gay (but will only ever be attracted to wwx), male (he/him).

jin zixuan: kind of entitled rich boy, well-meaning asshole who is only mean because he is very socially inept. 22 (at death), bi (but there is a LOT of internalized homophobia due to the time period, he has a hard time accepting it), male (he/him).

a-qing: pretends to be blind so she can steal money, likes to curse and fight. 12, i won’t be shipping her, female (she/her).

mo xuanyu: too gay to function, actually deserves better. 25-ish, GAY, male (he/him).

nie mingjue: he died because he got too angry and that’s all you need to know. 31-ish, bi (but with a lot of internalized homophobia, would have a hard time acknowledging it), male (he/him).

fukase: snarky android kid who will not stop sticking his tongue out. made to look 16, bi/ace, male (he/him).

jack: winter spirit who likes to have fun and have more fun. appears 14, questioning, male (he/him).

monika: she has 3 verses and it varies wildly from verse to verse so ask me about it personally or don’t. 18, bi, female (she/her).

yuri: delinquent teenager who believes that he can do nothing to make life less shit until suddenly he doesn’t. 17, bi, male (he/him).

KT: small experimented-on girl who wants to see the world and make friends! 13, lesbian (will NOT be shipped with muses over 15), female (she/her).

[stony-ao3-feed]

Slight Error of Judgement

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2HTcdDT

by Theavengingavengers

Tony and Steve get engaged! Except...of course nothing is ever that simple.

In which there is a misunderstanding, Natasha is frustrated, Fury is angry, Steve and Tony are self-destructive, and everyone else is trying to figure out what just happened.

Words: 4223, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Thor (Marvel), Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Clint Barton, Nick Fury

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Implied Bruce Banner/Thor

Additional Tags: Get Together, well kinda, re get together?, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, endgame who??? endgame what????, I'm so sad they cancelled the mcu after Avengers (2012), :////, it couldve been so much but alas, but hey now we can pretend that the team moved in with tony and lived happily ever after, except they are all dramatic and gay so thats unrealistic, Engagement, Domestic Avengers, Team as Family, Post-Avengers (2012), Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, they are all loving and supportive of each other, tony and steve are dumb and gay and STILL don't know how to communicate properly, well what do u expect they're all traumatized harold, Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence - Avengers (2012)

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2HTcdDT

[ao3feed-thorbruce]

Slight Error of Judgement

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2HTcdDT

by Theavengingavengers

Tony and Steve get engaged! Except...of course nothing is ever that simple.

In which there is a misunderstanding, Natasha is frustrated, Fury is angry, Steve and Tony are self-destructive, and everyone else is trying to figure out what just happened.

Words: 4223, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Thor (Marvel), Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Clint Barton, Nick Fury

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Implied Bruce Banner/Thor

Additional Tags: Get Together, well kinda, re get together?, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, endgame who??? endgame what????, I'm so sad they cancelled the mcu after Avengers (2012), :////, it couldve been so much but alas, but hey now we can pretend that the team moved in with tony and lived happily ever after, except they are all dramatic and gay so thats unrealistic, Engagement, Domestic Avengers, Team as Family, Post-Avengers (2012), Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, they are all loving and supportive of each other, tony and steve are dumb and gay and STILL don't know how to communicate properly, well what do u expect they're all traumatized harold, Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence - Avengers (2012)

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2HTcdDT

[jiraiiko]

CHAPTER 4 - Mirror, mirror on the wall... Who will be the one to take the fall?

Rhyming or words have never been my forte. But who remembers the mirror song of Disney's cartoon movie Mulan? It is one of my favorite pieces of all disney songs. Not only is the story set in China where my roots are but it also describes the struggle that has ... not to be dramatic but yes, also to be dramatic - traumatized me for life.

[TRIGGER WARNING, very depressing content ahead]

Like I have already mentioned quite a few times, I grew up as a very quiet little child. It's funny because my Chinese name literally translates into "quiet advisor of the emperor". It sounds less silly in Chinese, believe me. I always viewed my name as something like a curse because I was just as timid and silent as it suggested. It wasn't tragic at first. Parents like it if their kids are quiet. Especially Asian parents. They love quiet and obedient children who have no demands. I fullfilled all the criteria of being a model child. I was quite intelligent too and got good grades at school. I was good at arts, could play Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" (well, the first part of the three) at the age 13 (or I was told that's pretty good) without ever having gone to piano school but only through my mum's help - well, rather strict teaching - and rarely met up with friends since all I was supposed to care about was studying anyways. Why would a child need friends in the first place, right?

So yes. I have always been obedient. I have learned througout the years that that is what my parents wanted of me. Dont cause trouble and do as you're told and everything will be good. Your life will be good. Listen to your parents because we know best. This mindset was hammered into my brain and I never really questioned it. Because it made my parents happy. And I wanted them to be happy. I wanted them to be proud of me, to praise me. I wanted to feel loved.

Yesterday all that fell apart. And I dont even have the energy to type it all out. It just makes me incredibly sad. All I know now is, that I cannot rely on my parents for help. At least when it comes to my happiness. My true happiness. Because it just doesnt matter. But you know what? Even if it doesnt matter to you.

I'm still gay.

And I always will be. That's just how it is. I told you I was hurting. That I am slowly dying inside. But that doesnt matter. It never did. All that i am supposed to do is just stay silent and obedient. Just do as I am told. You know I am hurting but it doesnt matter. Because it would be worse if you had to suffer. As long as you dont have to feel the pain, as long as I put on a smile and pretend everything is okay while all of this pain is suffocating me from inside every single day as i am gasping for air and clawing at my skin in poor attempts to distract myself from this invisible pain and the hurting...BUT. As long as I dont speak of it. As long as I suffer silently. It will be okay. I will be okay. I will be okay someday.

My parents are so lucky I am not that mentally weak despite my depression. I am still sane and not stupid enough to inflict severe damage on myself. Sure, I will scratch and claw at my skin. But only so much as it doesnt become obvious. And sure, I will still have suicidal thoughts, but I would never actively carry them out because I dont support suicide and dying actively. My approach is more passive. I will slowly rot away. So slowly that you wont even notice. I am slowly and surely awaiting the day I will be set free. I am just tired. So very much tired.

And all that because it's suuuuch an awful and unforgivable thing to love women. All that because I love you so much that I couldnt bear to see you suffer and instead cry to myself when nobody sees. Ah, i wanna vomit my guts out... I am so disgusted with myself.

At this point i dont even know whether i want to care anymore. This will be my life from now on. I am giving up. You, dear reader, might get angry at me for giving up like this. But my faith in life has been shattered. I can already feel how my living drive is fading away. I just wish my body would physically give out as much as my mental state does. Then I would finally come closer the salvation. Closer to death. I am sorry for being so depressing. But that's just how i feel right now. After all these years i fought to be strong. I tried so hard. And now i am tired of life. Tired of trying. So tired.

Just like Mulan sang in her song. I will never be the perfect daughter you wished for. In fact, when I look in the mirror I dont even recognize that person emptily blinking back at me. I dont know if that person is even still a person or alive. That person in the mirror is just sad. Just so sad...

[ao3feed-stony]

Slight Error of Judgement

by Theavengingavengers

Tony and Steve get engaged! Except...of course nothing is ever that simple.

In which there is a misunderstanding, Natasha is frustrated, Fury is angry, Steve and Tony are self-destructive, and everyone else is trying to figure out what just happened.

Words: 4223, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Thor (Marvel), Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Clint Barton, Nick Fury

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Implied Bruce Banner/Thor

Additional Tags: Get Together, well kinda, re get together?, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, endgame who??? endgame what????, I'm so sad they cancelled the mcu after Avengers (2012), :////, it couldve been so much but alas, but hey now we can pretend that the team moved in with tony and lived happily ever after, except they are all dramatic and gay so thats unrealistic, Engagement, Domestic Avengers, Team as Family, Post-Avengers (2012), Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, they are all loving and supportive of each other, tony and steve are dumb and gay and STILL don't know how to communicate properly, well what do u expect they're all traumatized harold, Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence - Avengers (2012)

source http://archiveofourown.org/works/19083370