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catsteeth · 6 months

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The Caged Bird and The Leashed Dog

Sandor Clegane x reader

+:✿ Chapter - 4 ✿:+ Candle Flames

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, -, 5

Summary: You are the daughter of Jon Arryn, you and your father travel to King's Landing with the intention of arranging a marriage for you. You catch a glimpse of The Hound during your first night in Kings Landing and it creates a mutual fascination even if he won't admit it.

CW: SMUT, MINORS DNI, afab reader, thigh fucking, slow burn, angst, emotional unavailability, emotional vulnerability, The Hound being abrasive, alcohol consumption, mention of death, mention of arranged marriage, LOTS OF VIOLENCE, blood, implied threat of non-con,

Word Count: 4738

After you’d spoken to Loras, you’d felt even more alone than before. The talk offered no comfort other than the fact he didn’t want you dead. Sansa was fine company but she was something you felt the strong urge to protect. You put yourself in harm's way constantly just to prevent her from facing any pain.

Specifically one incident when you and her were walking with the Royal Party after watching the Princess sail away to Dorne to be wed off. It was hard to watch the crying girl sail away, especially when you’d been in her very place.

It was easy to keep your eyes averted to such a sight when The Hound was there to accompany Joffrey. You kept your head low but your eyes stayed on him. You’d still had so many questions about the night you both shared, but now was not the time to ask.

Later making your way back through the capital city you were sickened by the sights you saw. The Lannisters and Baretheons were supposed to be the wealthiest and most powerful houses. And yet the people of their cities sit in filth and starve. Starving over a war they did not want nor started.

You couldn’t bring yourself to be even the least bit angry when the crowd began to shout vile things. However you found yourself slightly confused once you heard the words ‘bastard’, ‘incest monster’, and ‘brother-fucker’ being sworn towards the royal party.

However your confusion only occupied your mind for a brief moment before someone within the crowd hurled cow manure at the King's face. You felt a brief sense of enjoyment when you saw it hit his face, but it was soon replaced by fear when the King ordered for the execution of the entire crowd,

“Find the man who did that and bring him to me! Kill them, Kill them all!” The King shouted.

Foolish it was, he’d only a few gold cloaks, some kingsguard, and even less knights. Outnumbered by the hundreds of rioting starving people.

Sandor grabbed hold of Joffrey protecting him.

“What are you doing? I want these people executed!” Joffrey whined loudly

“And they want the same for you!” He shouted back

The city watch was quickly overpowered. And the High Septon that you and the royal party was traveling with was pulled into the crowd. You were horrified to witness him being pulled limb from limb, never seen such a thing in your life.

“Move, Move!” Tyrion shouted at you

As the Kingsgaurd were able to eventually carve somewhat of a path towards the entrance of the Red Keep, Joffrey, Cersei, and Tyrion were all rushed inside quickly.

Before you could make your way inside you noticed your cousin Sansa being derailed and separated from the rest.

You grabbed ahold of her quickly and pushed her into a Kingsguard who brought her inside. However once she was in, without seeing you they closed the doors.

Alone.

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆

Inside the keep

“You blind bloody fool!” Tyrion scolded Joffrey’s moronic behavior by hitting and cursing at him. “We’ve had vicious kings, we’ve had idiot kings, but I don’t know if we’ve ever had an idiot king!”

“You’re talking to a King!” Joffrey shouted back like an embarrassed child.

Tyrion raised his hand and slapped him “And now I’ve struck a King, did my hand fall from my wrist?” He shouted back, he turned around and noticed you were not there, “Where is the Arryn girl?” He shouted at the men.

“Let them have her!” Joffrey retorted

“If she dies her relatives in the North won't forget it! She’s cared for in the vale and might I remind you she shares blood with the Starks! You need her alive!” He shouted back before frantically calling upon all the king's men to return to save you.

“Gather your men and find her!” He shouted to Ser Meryn

“I only take orders from my king, imp.” Meryn responded coldy.

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆

Meanwhile as you attempted to hide in a dark hall, winding up in some kind of stable. You thought for a moment you’d made it there unnoticed and alone. However four men soon walked in behind you as you backed yourself against a wall. Your hand found his way around the handle of a small sharp shovel of some kind. The blade of it was sharp and flat.

You’d not said a word, you knew if you shouted for them to get back or to fuck off it would be of no use.

“Look at this little bird's eyes, she’s furious.” One of the men with short hair was mocked.

“I’ve no gold, no silver, no bread.” You said in a low tone, firm voice.

“Aye, but you’ve got something.” The taller man said with a crooked grin.

As that man began to take a step towards you, you grasped the handle of the shovel firmly and stabbed it into him. Between his neck and his collarbone.

As the other men began to shuffle towards you, you pulled the shovel back out and pointed it at them as their friend fell to the ground holding his bleeding wound.

The man with short hair managed to grab ahold of you whilst his other friend grabbed ahold of your wrist, yanking the shovel out of your hand. The man with short hair placed his hand over your mouth, in response you bit down onto his fingers so hard you were afraid your teeth would shatter. You could taste the blood rush into your mouth.

In response to your bite, with his other hand he hit you creating a cut over your eyebrow. It threw you off just enough to make you fall back and into the other man's arms.

The three men began to pin you down shouting vulgar remarks, as they did you kicking at them and scratching at them. Just as the one with short hair began to undo his pants, he was stopped.

Picked up by the back of his neck like a puppy, practically lifted off of the ground. His guts were cut out of him. As his body fell to the ground you saw him, it wasn’t Sandor, it was The Hound. This is what everyone spoke of.

The men who held your wrists were next. He cut with precision. His swords swung and took off the man's head. The next he grabbed before he could escape. Slamming his fist into his head, and shoving his blade deep into his stomach. Once he was done he put away his sword. He turned back towards you, and it was him again, Sandor.

He bent his knee to you and spoke softly “You’re alright now, little bird, you're alright.” He said as he picked you up in both arms and carried you back to safety.

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧

As the two of you entered the keep Tyrion was shocked.

Once Sandor placed you down gently, a few ladies including Sansa rushed to your side pawing at your bloody face.

“My Lady are you hurt?” Tyrion asked as he tried to assess whether the blood on your mouth and hands were yours or not.

“Little birds hurt, get her back to her cage. See that cut on her head.” Sandor commanded the women as he walked away,

as he did Tyrion shouted back to him. “Well done, Clegane.”

To which Sandor responded,

“I didn’t do it for you.”

Tyrion, confused by his words, went back to your side and asked again before your ladies could take you away. “My lady, are you hurt? There’s blood- your hands and-“ he said reaching his to touch your chin where the blood from your mouth dropped.

“I bit one.” You said plainly, exhaustion in your eyes, unwilling to attempt that you’d murdered a man.

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚

As you laid in your bed that night, you looked at the one candle you had burning beside your bed. Contemplating whether or not to blow it out. Watching the flame kept your mind away from the memories you’d made today. You’d never seen such horrid things before, and much less partook in them. You’d killed a man. And yet, felt no remorse, which made you feel terrible, but maybe that alone counted for something. But soon even that left as your memories shifted to the feeling of being in Sandor's arms.

Before you could blow it out,

you began to hear the sounds of metal clanking up the hall. Sandor thought you’d never notice, but he often walked up and down your halls more than he was meant to. Simply to make sure you were alright.

Every time you heard the metal clanking pass you’d smile to yourself. Only this time it stopped, in front of your door. You sat up slightly on your elbows and peered towards the door. Without knocking, he came inside your chamber.

“What’re you doing here?” You asked in a whisper.

He didn’t respond, but made his way to that same golden pitcher in the corner of your room.

“It’s water, remember?” You said. He huffed and put it back down without taking a swig of it.

“What are you-” You began before he spoke in a low deep husky voice.

“You could’ve been killed.” He said without looking at you.

“But I wasn’t.” You said in a sweet whisper.

He began to walk towards your bed. “The fucking cunts would ‘ave taken you bloody every which way, that pretty throat would’ve been slit open. You’d been left for the fucking rats.”

You took his hand and pulled him onto the bed, his metal scrapping the delicate sheets as he sat on it.

“You saved me, you’re the bravest man I’ve ever seen.” You said with a strange kind of adornment, one he’d never heard before.

“Brave?” He dryly scoffed, “Dogs don't need courage to chase rats.”

“You’re no dog.” You say with that same sweet whisper, it’s as if you’d realized you’d began to fall deeper into whatever emotional trap you two had created here.

“You killed that man?” He asked in a low whisper.

“I did.”

“How’d that feel.”

“Necessary.”

He stared at you for a moment, not in judgment or disgust but in understanding and some other emotion you couldn’t quite understand just yet.

“You can’t do that again.”

“Kill?”

“No.” His eyebrows furrowed, he couldn’t give less of a shit who you killed or why, “You risked your life for that Stark girl.”

“You saw that?”

“She kept yapping about it.” His tone husky

“I needed her safe first.”

“Too bad.” He said not giving you any room to argue as his thumb ran over the cut on your eyebrow, you winced slightly. “I’d kill those cock sucking rats a million times again if I could. Died too quickly. I should have cut their arms off, their hands, taken their eyes for even looking at you.”

Your hand came to his jaw, pulling yourself to his lips but he pulled away. with a sigh he came close again. He rested his forehead on yours.

“I don’t know how to- do this- gently.” He let out a small rumble, “fuck” he hissed “i want to do this gently. I want to be gentle with you.”

He was like a dog given a bone that he so badly wanted to preserve.

His hand came to your lap, and fisted the fabric of your nightgown. You placed your hands on top of his, you smoothed out his hand to lay flat on your lap.

“Like this..” you whispered as you guided his hand up, making the fabric ride up. As your thighs became more and more visible he stopped and backed away,

“No, no this isn’t right.” He grumbled as he walked over towards a large chair in the corner of your room. His face was illuminated by that single candle light. You could see his frustration and desperation in a battle with one another.

You stood, and walked towards him. He slumped forwards. Resting his forearms against his strong thighs.

“I can’t be what you wan- what you need.” He corrected. His voice was low and deep.

You pushed him back by his shoulders, making him lean against the back of the chair. His deep scowl was ever present but it didn’t stop you from running your fingers through his coarse hair.

“I shouldn’t have come back here. Should’ve stayed the fuck away. Left you be,”

“I don’t think either of us have much a choice.” You said as you moved yourself between his large thighs. Standing in front of him still running your hands through his hair. “Do you think of that night?” You asked in a whisper.

“Fuck do you think-“ He barked back before you stopped him,

“Gentle.” You corrected him

“Aye.” He conceded painfully, his hands coming to your sides holding you by your waist. His large hands engulfed your ribs.

“What part of it do you think of?” You whispered sweetly as you began to move on top of him. Your thighs spread across his as you straddled him. His eyes never leave yours.

He grumbled something low, you couldn’t make it out, but it sounded like “Your eyes.”

You didn’t want to push him, to make him repeat it.

Your hand cupped his chin, as you slowly pressed your lips against his. You pecked at his lips for a moment. Then pulling away, looking into his eyes waiting for his response. His eyes filled with shame, he looked away.

You pressed a kiss into the scarred tissue on his cheek, he flinched at the feelings and his eyes darted back to you,

“My face, why did you-“ He rasped suddenly

“Don’t you want me?”

“Course’ I do but I-“ he cut himself off as his lips hit yours once again, he sucked on your lips as hardly audible groans escaped his throat.

You pressed your thinly clothed cunt against his hardening bulge. However as soon as he felt it he grabbed you by your hips and lifted you up. You whined, and his forehead slumped forward and rested on your chest. “Fuck-“ he said breathlessly, “Can’t do that shit to me.” he panted.

“Why?” you whined a little too loudly, his grip on you tightened.

“Told you, stubborn fucking girl.” He finally caught his breathe, “Ye poke at me too much and i’ll fuck you bloody.” His eyes leaving yours in what looked like guilt.

“That’s what I want-“

“Don’t matter.” He snipped back quickly, his eyes snapping back to yours. “Once you're wed that imp will stick his cock in ya’ and know you’re not his.” He said, his words harsh, sharp and cold

“I’m not.” you said, his eyes went a little wide, with what? adornment?

You slowly lowered your hips onto his once again. Waiting for his push back but were met with none. You let out a small gasp as the bulge separated your lips through the thin fabric that covered your cunt. Another moan left your lips once you felt the hardened mound poke at your entrance. You grinded against it, your cunt began to clench around nothing.

“At’s it” He groaned into your neck, “Grin’ yerself on my cock.” He grumbled low and deep.

His face contorted, his muscles tensed, and his groans became more and more primal. His grip on your hips began to sting a little how tightly he held you. Your cheeks began to heat up, and that knot in your stomach tightened.

He picked you up abruptly, kissing your neck.

“On your back, now.” He commanded as he placed you onto the fur rug on your bed chambers floor.

He untied his breeches that clearly had a wet spot on it, unclear if it was your doing or his. He was still fully covered in his armor, as he pulled out his cock. Harder than you’d seen it before.

You rode up your night gown to your hips and slipped out of the thin underclothes you’d had on.

He was on his knees before you, you on your back, legs bent and spread, ready and inviting.

He stared at you, admiring you.

He placed his heavy aching member between your folds. Rubbing up and down, his tip hitting your clit in the most perfect way.

He pressed your thighs together, and he let out a long drawn out groan.

“Fuck!” He hissed as he began to buck himself against your cunt. “So fuckin’ wet” He growled as his bucking continued in a more erratic pace.

You arched your back and squeezed your thighs together as his fat tip kept hitting your clit

“Don’t- Don’t stop.” You whimpered looking up at his hair falling into his face, his eyes trailing all over you, from your wet thighs to your breasts that bounced with every thrust to your pouting lips all the way back to your eyes.

“Not fuckin’ stopping.” He said through gritted teeth. “But,” He was stopped by a deep guttural moan, “Don’t look at me like that.” He said panting, “You’ll make me finish too quickly.” He said once more through gritted teeth.

You took it as a challenge, stubborn as you were. You gave him a smile, and a giggle.

“Fuckin' stubborn girl.” He said through gritted teeth, then picking you up and turning you around. Your back flesh with his armored chest.

He pressed your thighs together again, and pushed his cock back in between them, but slightly missing and catching your entrance. Even though he graced it only slightly you moaned so beautifully it almost made him cum right then. That's when you realized how truly lovely it would feel to have him inside of you.

“I want it inside” You moaned as one of your arms reached over and behind you to wrap around his broad shoulders. While your other hand held his large forearm that draped over your stomach holding you in place.

“Can’t do that to you.” He said breathlessly, as his other hand removed the straps of your gown. As it fell to your waist, he cupped your breasts, his large hand completely engulfing it.

You whined again. You didn’t care if you were ruined, you wanted to be. But you couldn’t force him.

His tongue and teeth danced along your neck, you begged in your mind that he’d bite down or suck on your skin but no, never. Never to burden you with evidence that this ever happened.

You felt that heat rise and the knot in your belly begin to snap. He could feel you clenching and it produced a vulgar moan from him,

“That’s alright, you can cum,” He grunted, as he said that you moved your head back and faced him. “MH-” He gave you a sloppy and passionate kiss to mute your moan as you came over his cock. As your high was ridden out, he continued to thrust, he separated the kiss and looked deeply into your now exhausted and satisfied eyes, “Sandor” You whispered, sweetly, “Sandor,”

He didn’t break your eye contact, his teeth gritted as he tried to hold back his moans as he began to spill out and over your thighs, “(Y/N)” He growled with a final deep and long thrust.

As you laid there, on the fur rug of your room catching your breath. He laid with you.

You peered over to him, “I meant what I said.” He peered over to you, raising one eyebrow. “I’m not his.” You said softly.

“Aye.” He looked away, “But for your sake he’d better think you are.” He said in a low husky voice.

You raised your hand to his scarred cheek, you began to run your fingers over it when he pulled away.

“I don’t mind it, really,” You whispered.

“Every one fucking minds it.” He hissed

“I don’t.” You said back defiantly

He huffed, and laid there in silence, he looked over at you, feelings somewhat bad he’d snapped at you. ‘Gentle’ he remembered.

“When I was a boy, my brother caught me with one of his toys. Thought I stole it. I didn’t, just playing with it. Pressed my head to the fire. All like Baelish told you.” He let out another sigh, “But the worst part was that it was my brother who did it. And my father who protected him. Told everyone my bedding caught fire.”

You moved closer to him and rested your head on his chest. You tried to listen to his heart beating through the armor, only making out a few muffled thumps. Your eyes heavy, closed soon enough.

When you woke in the middle of the night you were in your alone bed, your legs were cleaned and you were dressed.

And

Your candle was out.

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚

Every Morning since the riots you were awoken by a handmaiden, sometimes two. They’d dress you in red or gold. Braiding your hair, being sure to put lots of intricate, and no doubt expensive hair pins in it. You were beginning to feel more like the ornate decor that was scattered around kings landing than you felt like an actual woman anymore.

As you walked the halls your handmaidens were like guards, guards of a prisoner.

You passed a mirror as you walked and caught a glimpse of yourself, hardly recognizable. “As high as honour” what a joke you thought. Look at you now, looking more and more like a Lannister with each passing day. The red and gold you were forced to wear was a stark contrast from the blues and silvers you’d grown to love. But now you’d really had no home. You didn’t align yourself with the rest of your house anymore either. Lysa and Robin felt like intruders in your home, and they treated you the same. And now, Baelish was a true intruder in it. Being allowed in by your stepmother who’d no right to allow him entrance. Entrance to your home and now your titles. Rightfully yours.

To gain your titles the Lannister's were your only hope now, so for now you’d be Cersei’s doll and Tyrion's wife. For now, you’d play along.

But where did that leave Sandor?

You knew that first night he was angry, not at you. He was angry you were the one thing he couldn’t protect. You were his master's thing and couldn’t stop them from toying with you. He was angry you were the only thing he’d ever wanted, and just like everything he couldn’t have. He was angry he couldn’t tell you how much he wanted you.

And the second night, he was scared, and vulnerable.

You’d stopped eating since the riot. Normally, that would have gone unnoticed. However your now doting husband has made sure to keep eyes on you at all times. Your handmaidens are unwilling to engage in an argument with you knowing you aren’t the person to pick a fight with, told Tyrion.

As your ladies ceaselessly brought you trays of food whilst you attempted to lounge on your balcony while you read you simply waved your hand at each tray, now not even bothering with a “No, thank you.” As it didn’t seem to stop them.

Tyrion stepped onto the balcony, your eyes went towards him but snapped back onto your book as soon as you knew who was joining your handmaidens in disturbing your peace.

“Lord Tyrion.” You said in greeting, hardly exerting any energy into it. You would have felt badly about discarding your virtue once more for another man if he’d hadn’t made you feel even more like a prisoner.

“Lady (Y/N)” He said back, sitting across from you, “What are you reading?”

“Something of little consequence,” You said, closing the book and looking over your shoulder at the women who surrounded you “May we be left alone?” You asked, the women didn’t budge but looked to Tyrion who nodded at them, once at his command they left.

“They don’t listen to me.” You said with harsh eyes.

“I told them not to.” He said with a huff as he repositioned himself in his seat and putting on a half hearted smile.

“Did you tell them to dress me like this too?” You said tossing the closed book to the side table next to you.

“I asked them to help you fit in,” He said, leaning closer to you, his eyes filled with some kind of concern. “Joffrey has a tendency to single you out I wanted to see if I could correct that... Aesthetically.. Cersei had some dresses made for you and-”

“If you wish for me to continue to view you favorably, you are failing.” You said stoically, "Was I inadequate before?"

"No- no I-" He stopped himself, “I just want to do all I can to ensure your safety.” He conceded. You did appreciate it, but your need for freedom overweighed that appreciation heavily.

You sighed and looked away, off towards the near distant ocean of blue. You fidgeted with your new golden rings on your fingers. “And, you’re not eating.” He said in a lower tone,

“And, you’re spying on me?” You said now focusing back on him.

“Your ladies told me-”

“Your ladies.” You corrected.

“I am concerned. Ever since the riots you’ve not eaten a meal.” He huffed, “You need to eat. Name any food you want and I wish to have it made.”

“I don’t want to eat.” You responded bluntly.

“I am your husband to be, It is my duty-”

“Your duty? Your duty to imprison me in this place, in this engagement?” Your angry scowl dropped soon as you realized how cutting your words were. To him he was keeping you from further harm, and you knew that. You sighed and looked back to the sea, “It is hard for me to eat, it is hard for me to sleep.”

“Tell me how to help and I will.” He said almost pleading as he leaned forward and held his hands out palms up. "I’d do anything for my lady wife.” The words ‘lady wife’ made you want to vomit, especially after the previous night.

“I want to go home. I want to claim my titles.”

“You and I both.” He said with a dry chuckle. “I have wanted to claim my own birthrights long enough to know the feeling.”

“Were they stolen from under your grieving feet by Petyr Baelish?”

“No-”

“Mine were. And I am powerless to stop it, because I sit here in this castle in these red gowns and Lannister gold. I am presenting myself as indifferent to my own birthright being stolen from me.” You sighed, “I understand what you are trying to do. I do, I may be angry but I do understand. But you need to understand this, in doing what you feel is protecting me, whether it is or is not, you have taken whatever independence I had left.”

“I understand.” He said sitting back into his seat, “And I will do all I can to help you proclaim your titles. But, it would seem Stannis aims to attack this city.”

“Stannis Baretheon?” You asked in some confusion, no one ever told you anything.

“It seems we are not the only ones who wish to claim titles.” He said in an attempt to jest, “So we're not the men to fight for you yet, however we aim to win this war. Once it is, I will see to it that your titles are restored.”

You smiled, “Thank you, Tyrion.” Although not in the slightest comforted by the idea of war approaching your doorstep

✧ ‧˚₊ ❆

As you walked down the halls of the castle you were hit with a brick wall, Sandor.

“you’re not eating.” Sandor said in a hushed but deep and husky tone

“How’d you-” You began before he interrupted you.

“All those fucking handmaidens tell the royals.” He said in annoyance

“I eat when I'm hungry. haven’t been in a while.”

“you don’t eat, you’ll starve.” His voice was like he was warning you.

“unlikely. That takes time. Stannis aims to attack the city. I'm sure I'll be dead then.” You responded stoically.

“You won’t die.” He said as if it were fact,

“How can you be certain?” You retorted defiantly

“Cause I fucking said so.” He said stomping off, his cape flowing behind him.

NOTE: Hey all you cool cats and kittens I hope you like this one!!! The next two are going to be a wittle cwazy just a warning... ALSO yall I wrote the smut part during jury duty LMAO... anyways

Also the last few chapters have gotten so much love and I am so very grateful thank you!!! <3

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lowkeyrobin · 1 month

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Hello!! I saw you have a groups option on your descendants masterlist and was wondering I'd you'd write something for the Descendants 4 vks, maybe one where reader is a hero kid and a detention monitor that somehow ends up making (slight) friends with them? I hope I explained that well and no worries if you can't do it, thank you! Have a nice day :))

oooo okay okay! I can definitely try for you 🫶🫶 ; sorry this is so short, I just didn't have any ideas lol ; thank you for requesting, hope you enjoy!!

FEARFUL FIVE ; detention

summary ; youre an AK and a detention monitor, and make friends (kind of) with a group of vks

warnings ; language

word count ; 488

masterlist

The VK's landed themselves in detention after attempting to steal the forbidden recipe book, which was expected to you, unexpected to them. You sit in the library, watching over them as they quietly chatter amongst themselves. You couldn't care less about what they did, as long as they were sat in their seats and behaving, you'd be happily enjoying your book.

"They're kind of cute" Hook whispers to Morgie.

Morgie shrugs. Uliana behind them leans forward. "They're an AK, shut your trap"

Hook shrugs, leaning back in his chair.

You glance up from your book, the obnoxious whispering getting on your nerves. "Please, just.. talk like normal people. The whispering is annoying as hell."

Hades and Maleficent snicker.

"Sorry!" Hook flatly replies. He looks to Morgie, the two sharing an eyeroll.

You turn back down to your book, feet resting on the desk in front of you.

"Whatcha reading?" Morgie asks, leaning forward.

You look up, not moving your head. "It's a little thing on magic, spells, and sorcery," you reply.

Uliana, Morgie, and Hook share looks. Meanwhile, Maleficent files her claws for nails while Hades paints his fingernails black with nail polish at the table beside Uliana.

"What kind of magic, spells, and sorcery?" Uliana asks, intrigued.

You shrug. "Like love spells, earworm spells, dumb stuff. I'm looking it over for a test"

"Are there any spells that could... maybe cause people harm?" She continues

You shrug, looking up at her. "Not in here, nor in any book in this library. Any books with 'dangerous' spells or magic in general are restricted"

The trio whisper amongst themselves before Hook slightly slaps Morgie's shoulder.

"Ehm-" Hook speaks. "Where are those books residing at, then?"

"Merlin's office," you answer. "There's a solid wall filled floor to ceiling in books. Such a shame, even if there's only one bad part, it has to be restricted"

"Yeah... how sad," Hook flatly replies, looking up at the clock, reading 3:59.

"So... if someone were to try and get access to those books?.." Uliana leads on

"I shouldn't really be giving away information on this, especially to VKs..."

Morgie quickly puts on his puppy dog eyes. "You know... not all VKs are that bad. We're just adventurous and curious, and people think we're evil because we accidentally do bad things"

Hook rolls his eyes, finding the gaslighting kind of not fun at all.

"Can you please tell us?" He continues. "We'll be your friends for life."

You sigh, your heart quickly falling for Morgie's lies. "Well, you'd have to sneak into his office, and some books have special magic locks on them, so you'd have to break through them. You could probably use some simple little spell, or probably melt them for that matter. I dunno for sure-"

"Alright, well, we're out of here. Thanks for all your help." Hook smiles

You watch as the group collect themselves before walking toward the nearest exit.

"Uh, yeah. Bye..."

#lowkeyrobin #gn reader #gender neutral reader #they/them reader #descendants x reader #descendants x gn reader #rise of red x reader #descendants rise of red x reader #james hook x reader #hook x reader #morgie x reader #morgie le fay x reader #maleficent x reader #hades x reader #uliana x reader #fearful five x reader

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harkonnin · 6 months

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* The heart is not meant to rule *

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Atreides!Reader

Slow burn, knife kink, blood kink, strangers to lovers, softer!Feyd-Rautha, CONSENT, 18+, arranged marriage, assassination, poison, murder, etc

Chapter 1 - Introduction Chapter 2 - Beginnings are such delicate times Chapter 3 - Eclipse Chapter 4 - A Time of Quiet Between the Storms Chapter 5 - Harkonnen Arena Chapter 6 - Water of life Chapter 7 - Each man is a little war Chapter 8 - Spice

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The lush and deep forests near the castle brings many memories to you. Soon your life might look completely different, should Feyd reconsider marriage. You hope he pulls through, in more ways than one. Walking in the crisp fresh air of the trees makes you realise your feelings might be developing in more than just infatuation. Your heart sank when you saw Feyd collapse last night. It felt heavy to breathe just thinking about what would have happened if he died. But not only that, you felt as if Feyd would be an interesting partner. His personality very different from the men who you had known all your life. He showed a different kind of devotion, almost obsession over you. You admit it made you quiver a little bit every time he stared you down, a biological reaction, you assured yourself.

You think it’s sinful to admit that when he had you cornered in the halls, hand pulling your hair, you also felt your body react to that. It was the first time a man didn’t tiptoe around you, someone who saw you on an equal line, someone who didn’t feel the need to behave otherwise because of your stature. You understand why your mother didn’t think a Bene Gesserit training would be something for you. You lacked the self-control and discipline, just now acknowledging how your body responded to violence like that. You continue walking in the forest, blushing heavily thinking about him. You can’t seem to snap out of the feeling of his breathe on your lips, his face so close, and then feeling the solid form of his body as you dragged him back. He truly is remarkable.

Feyd keeps inquiring the staff when you will be back, obsessively so. He doesn’t look desperate, but some of the people in the castle would describe him as a loyal dog waiting for their master to return. He had no patience whatsoever. He felt a lot fitter already, a burning sensation lingering in his muscles, but the medical staff reassured him he would be fine in a few days. He had heard everything that happened last night, how you grunted as you pulled his body all the way back to the castle, how you demanded them to save him, using any way possible, even if it meant breaking the law. You showed a devotion to him he wasn’t used to. Even his servants didn’t seem to care that much and were just acting out of fear. Whilst there was some fear in your voice last night, it wasn’t caused by him, it was a fear of losing him.

He went back to his quarters to get a much-needed bath and to sit in his own thoughts for now. He wasn’t allowed to let himself get so entrapped by her, it showed a certain weakness that Harkonnen didn’t take kindly to. He felt his worries wash off him as he entered the bathroom however, the same enchanting scent he smelled coming from the garden last night, now enveloping him. ‘Caladian rose’ it was called. And he noticed how it smelled like her. He recalled the way he trapped her between the wall and himself the day before, when he got a whiff of her perfume, how his hand smelled like her.

It drove him crazy; his hands went down into the water. He kept seeing your face as he softly stroked his full length. The scent of the bath adding to the feeling, it was like you were taking over his mind, all he could think of was you. He imagined how good you would look if you were in the bath here with him, your soft body writhing next to him, your hands on his chest, his face, his cock. His strokes were getting harder and faster at this point. He wanted nothing more but to taste you, lick your skin and claim your lips, to make you cry out his name, over and over. He came hard at the thought of you sitting on top of him, asking for more. He saw stars and realised you didn’t need to be trained like a Bene Gesserit, for you were already controlling his mind and body without it.

You eventually find the herb you were looking for and cut it with the blade Feyd gave you. It’s funny how a weapon made for killing was now being used for essentially gardening. You weren’t going to tell him that the first thing you used it on was a plant however, that’s just disrespectful.

As you make your way back to the castle, it’s already the late afternoon. It seemed like the search took longer than you wanted to, and you were needing a bath of your own. You felt sweaty, musky and assumed mentally drained after the events of last night. It would also help to calm down your muscles a little bit more. Feyd was a heavy man, and you were not used to dragging heavy men around. That was something Duncan hadn’t taught you yet.

You go to your quarters and let a bath run, you add some salts and Caladian rose essential oils. You hadn’t seen any staff members or servants in your walk back, but you also feared for any news coming from Feyd. You sort of assume he was strong enough to fight through the toxins, certainly with your blood going through him. But a small fear lingered. It would be better if you could see him tonight.

You eventually got out of the bath, to your own disappointment. A staff member had knocked on your door, telling you dinner would be starting soon. As you got out, you decide on wearing a pale purple dress, with cut-outs on your shoulders. It shaped around your body nicely and was extremely soft. As you moved towards the dining hall, it flowed behind you in the light of the setting sun.

As you entered the dining hall you stopped in your tracks. Feyd was standing near one of the bigger windows, looking outside towards the ocean. As he heard the door close behind you, he turned around. He was wearing something more casual as well, see through vest with a deep V-neck, showing off his perfectly shaped torso. It was tightened softly on his hip and a soft black pant underneath. His skin glistening in the direct sunlight it received. You made your way towards him, still in disbelief that he’s already up and running. His gaze softened once he saw you, whatever his thoughts were, they fell away.

“My Lady Atreides,” he purred as you got closer to him.

You smiled at him, for the first time it felt genuine as well. His nostrils flared and he clenched his jaw, reminding himself to not listen to his instinct to kiss you right there and then. You reached over to touch him however, grazing his arm softly.

“How- When did you awaken?”, you stumble, softly rubbing your thumb against his arm.

He looked down at your hand and then back at you. You misinterpreted his meaning and let go of him. He countered by grabbing your hand back, softly playing with it. You could feel your heart pounding in your ears, as you got hotter with every soft movement he did.

“I think I have my Lady to thank for that,” he said as he pulled your hand up to his lips and kissed it softly, never taking his eyes off yours.

He seemed like a proper gentleman just now, but you knew something was off. The glint in his eye and the way he smirked after reminding you that he was still Feyd. You didn’t seem to mind however, whatever he might be thinking about. You felt flattered and had to admit you loved it when he swooned over you like this. He was direct with his intentions; you knew where you stood with him.

As you two were standing there, the door opened once more. Your father and mother entered with an indescribable emotion set on their faces. By now, you assume word had spread already. You left out a soft ‘ugh’, and Feyd picked up on it. He let go of your hand and cupped your cheek softly. He brushed over your almost faded scar, as he licked him lips. How seductive, you thought. “Calm down darling, they won’t punish you if we get married,” he spoke.

There it was again, that word that caused all of this in the first place. He knew what he said, as he smiled a bit more venomous than he should have. You were stumbling to realise what he said about marriage, however. He saw your conflicting thoughts on your face and realised the words he spoke. A bit stifled at his lack of self-control, he let go of your cheek and made his way towards the table. He let his emotions slip a little too soon for his liking.

You’re staring out of the window, trying to process what had just transpired. As you turned around and sat down in front of him, you smiled a little bit, the inevitable dreaded conversation with your father could wait for now. You didn’t have the heart to look at Feyd’s face throughout dinner but shot a few glances to his body. He was remarkable, the epitome of a Greek god. You recall standing next to him and smelling Caladian rose on him. He could have taken a bath without any oils, but the fact that he didn’t, sent you into overdrive. This man was slowly taking over your every thought.

After dinner, your father proposes a toast in celebration of Feyd’s recovery, since not a lot of men have lived through meeting a white king cobra and living to tell the tale. You assumed Feyd would still be in a lot of pain on the inside, feeling a burning sensation every time he took a breath. You give the herbs to a staff member and ask her to prepare some tea. It’s the least you could do to help him feel more soothed.

As alcohol flows, you indulge in some of it as well. It soothes your inner thoughts and calms you down after the events that transpired. As the staff member returns, you muster up the courage to ask Feyd to follow you. You go out of the dining hall towards one of the balconies nearby. Feyd follows you promptly, wondering what you were going to say. You hand him over the tea, already cooled down a bit, and he takes the cup.

“What is this?” he questions you, smelling the cup and frowning at it. You chuckle at his reaction, “it’s just some tea, I went out to get fresh herbs, it helps with the feeling of dying,” you assume to know how he is feeling with that. He looks up at you, puzzled “I feel great,” he smirks.

You take a few seconds before you realise, he’s joking with you.

“Just drink it, even for you this can’t be enjoyable anymore,” you say as you slightly roll your eyes and turn to lean on the balcony railing.

The setup reminding you of the moment you shared with him back on Giedi Prime.

He listens and drinks it all in one go, it tastes a bit foul to his liking, like drinking grass or something. You laugh at his slight repulsion and let him have your glass of wine.

“Here, wash it away with this,” you say as he takes the glass and brushes your fingers with his softly.

He sips, and you see him return to his normal self. You smile softly at him as he gives you back your glass. You take a big sip out of the glass to wash down your creeping emotions. It makes you a bit numb and tingles within your body, but it’s a welcome treat. Feyd is staring at your face, trying to read your emotions at this point, you had been quiet all night. He decides to speak up.

“Lady Atreides, I have to thank you,” he starts, “not only did you save my life last night, you also went against the laws of your people to do so,” he continues as he takes your free hand, “you show a devotion to a cause much like we Harkonnen do, and for that I think you would be a worthy wife for me”.

You’re flattered, but his words seem to be a bit flat, very formal in a way. You had hoped his emotions to be a little bit stronger by now, but at least he wasn’t against marriage anymore. Even if it was for ulterior motives. He saw the struggle on your face, and wanted to shoot himself in the foot, he realised the words he spoke were extremely impersonal.

Ever the diplomat, you responded properly.

“I did what I had to do, I don’t think it would be labelled as an accident should you have died from poisoning, after my assassination attempt on Giedi Prime.”

You spoke with a little bit more sass when you mentioned that the people of his planet wanted to murder you, the alcohol probably giving you a bit more confidence tonight. He narrowed his eyes at you for a few seconds as you stared him down. Your face obviously not amused at his dryness. You turn away under his scorching look and revert your eyes towards the ocean. The moon casting a soft pale light on top of it. You felt his stare linger on you and wondered why both of you were so bad at communicating with each other.

You didn’t expect him to give you a heartfelt poem or anything, but to see him so devoid of emotions made you a little bit annoyed. You had just committed a crime for him, and all he could utter was “thanks, politically speaking we’d be great together”. What an asshole. That’s when you felt him lean towards you on the balcony, a hand trailing your shoulder softly. He had that dangerous quality about him, where you forgave him almost instantly whenever he touched you. You almost felt deprived every time he didn’t.

He trailed your shoulder and took his fingers further down the length of your arm, as if trying to soothe you. In a weird way it was working, you turn towards him as you see him staring back at you, his expression soft. His hand goes back up and onto your cheek, softly swiping at the scar.

“You look beautiful in the moonlight,” he confesses.

Your heart skips several beats at his intimacy. He looks you up and down and takes a deep breath before returning to your face. He notices your cheeks have a colour to them now, maybe it came from the alcohol, but he wants to believe that his words were the culprit. He comes closer to you, and you let him. You turn your body towards him, feeling completely engulfed in his actions.

“If you’ll have me, will you marry me?” he softly speaks, as his other hand snakes around your waist.

He could probably hear your heartbeat at this point, you felt like you were melting into his touch. He felt so warm against your body, so perfectly moulded. You put your glass of wine down and place your hands on his chest. You can feel his heartbeat, calm and controlled. For every time people warned you of this man, you have seen him in a different light more than often. He didn’t strike fear inside of you anymore, more so desire and a heavy need of wanting to be his.

As you open your mouth to speak, you get interrupted by a staff member telling you your father wants to speak with you. The moment is completely ruined, anxiety striking your face and Feyd notices. He lets you go but takes your hand in his and pulls it towards his face. He kisses it softly, never letting his eyes leave yours.

“I will await your answer, darling.” He lets you go, and you blush even more than before.

As the staff member guides you towards your father, she speaks some words of encouragement, but to be honest, at this point all you can think of is Feyd. He had just confessed his feelings in a strange way, it felt like he wanted to clear up that he also chose you, and not because of some political agreement. Having to listen to your father now felt like torture, for your night would only become worse.

As you entered his quarters he was standing at the window, in deep thought. You sighed and wanted to just get this over with.

“Father, you called?”, you snapped him out of his thoughts. He turned around and looked at you fondly.

You were perplexed, you fully expected him to give you a lecture, but his face was saying otherwise.

“My dear daughter, you truly are some mastermind, aren’t you,” he went to hug you. “What makes you say that father?”, you truly did not understand. “You, saving the Na-Baron, forcing him to marry you in the process, brilliant.” He looked at you filled with pride, but you also realised he completely misunderstood your intentions. “Dad, I’m not forcing anyone, I did what felt right at that moment, had I not, then House Harkonnen would be launching an attack on us as we speak. It was never my intention to force Feyd,” you sounded desperate to make him understand that you were not scheming, but you actually thought Feyd was going to be a good partner.

He looked at you puzzled, like he couldn’t understand what you were implying.

“You meant to save him?” he questioned you. “Yes!” you exclaimed. “Why? This man attacked you on your first day of meeting,” he tried to reason with you. “Because I like him!” you almost shouted.

Your confession falling silent in his room, his face contorting into some form of disbelief. He was trying to understand how someone like you would potentially fall in love with someone like Feyd-Rautha. You sighed and looked away from him.

“I didn’t just break the law because I saw a political advantage. A man I like was dying in front of me, I only did what my heart forced me to do.”

You sounded a bit desperate, to be understood and not judged at this point. Your father noticed your shift in body language, he had made you feel uncomfortable. To his regret, he never married your mother, so he understands what it meant to feel the desperate need to get married to someone you loved.

He hugged you and reassured you it’d all be fine. He released you after a while and spoke.

“The law states that only spouses or family members can aid in the giving of blood. Your mother was against it because it’s not a true Bene Gesserit way, but I don’t care. Your happiness is more important than that,” he took your hands in his, “we will keep the secret for as long as we can, once you get married it doesn’t matter anymore,” he kisses you on your forehead.

Your father only wanted to protect you from the world you lived in, but Feyd also had to agree to keep this secret. Which in turn could be a more difficult task than you wanted it to be.

#feyd rautha #feyd x reader #feyd x you #feyd rautha harkonnen #dune fanfiction #feyd rautha x reader #dune part two #dune movie #dune 2 #dune #dune part 2 #dune 2024 #the heart is not meant to rule

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rose-of-the-obsessive-verity · 3 months

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People don't talk nearly enough about Q in Bungo Stray Dogs. Even with their limited screentime we still got a massive insight into their backstory. Compared to Kyouka, who when we meet, presumably was aready in the PM anywhere from 6 months, to 4 years, making it possible that she joined at 10 years old, her being 14 in the current time.

We've seen how being a part of the Port Mafia affects different people, but no one has been part of the PM for quiet as long as Q, and we don't even get to see what their life was before the PM. But we can assume it nothing good. We know that Q is one year younger then Kyouka, but the diffrence between the two of them being, that Q joined the PM at 6 years old, or prehaps even younger. My theory is that Q was locked up for at least a few years in some sort of 3rd space (similar to Lucy's ability) possibly by Dazai's order.

( Q, age 6 )

Character's like Dazai, Chuuya and Higuchi have a strong distain for Q, which means Q has been locked up for at least 4 years. Q supposed ranpage where they took out Chuuya's subordinates happend when Q was 9. (Q being 13 in the current time)

Compare Q to Yosano Akiko, who was 11 when she joined the army. And because of Mori's tactics and manipulation, earned the nickname of "Angel of Death". We saw in real time how quickly Mori is able to dystroy a person, make them a shadow of themself. How he turned a 11 year old, happy, friendly Yosano, who was ready to help anyone, into a child that was borderline shellshock, a person that was content to rotting in a asylum for the rest of her life. And after 3 years of her being unresponsive, in that said asylum, she still fought the idea of being able to exist as a real person.

The thing that stands out to me the most is that Q has more hatred towards Dazai more then Mori. Because we can safely assume Q was at least partially under Dazai's training, and we know Dazai does not have the most orthodox methods of beating new PM members into shape. The way Mori trusts Q to walk around and take the train on their own, without fearing that they might run away is really telling of how much the loyality to the PM was burnt into Q mind. We can imagine Q does not remember much of anything before the PM. Q has had only one place in this world untill now, and that has been being a killing machine for the PM, no questions asked, we can probably assume Q has no idea that they could leave.

The only autonomy Q has ever had is regarding to their power, but even that being dictated by Mori's orders. Q has no autonomy over anything in their life, if It's regarding if they want to kill people or not, if they want to help do the PM's bidding, or if they are content with being locked in, presumably, self-isolation for over 4 years. Lock up a 9 year old kid for 4 years only with their own thought's and be suprised when they turn out that way.

I've always thought of the parallels between Kyouka and Yosano, the same way both of them were made to hate their powers, Kyouka having to use it to hurt people against her wishes, and Yosano essentially being forced to make the people she looked up to, come to the brink of death, only to send them to die again.

Both Kyouka and Yosano were extreamly ashamed of their powers, becuse it made human life seem so insignificant, Kyouka being able to kill without actually being close to a target. and letting Demon Snow do it for her.

Kyouka and Yosano's abilitys are both not necessarily meant to hurt people, one being healing, and the other protecting it's user, not to mention, Demon Snow is a gift from Kyouka's mother, given in order to protect her.

Now, back to Q, a power, that we don't know that much of, for example, we don't know if the mind control could make someone feel at peace. But that wouldn't matter, because no matter how Q's ability was used, Q's ability can only be activated when somebody hurts them. No matter how much someone tries to use Q's for good, It will always hurt someone, that either being another, or Q themself. Do we really put it past the PM, in all the years Q was in training, to not have tourtured Q untill they got ahold of how their ability worked? The subordinates Chuuya talked about, are we sure that wasn't a cruel training for Q? Where Mori made people hurt Q, those people possibbly being people in the PM?

One is being forced your ability to cause harm, the other is your ability being designed to hurt you, and everyone eles.

If Q was subject to so much pain in their formative years, imagine how desensitized, they are to it. And all of this, the work of Mori, and the rest of the Port Mafia.

When Q was kidnapped by Steinbeck and forced to hurt so many civilians, we saw how people are able to manipulate Q's ability against their will, and who's to say, The PM didin't do that aready?

We saw how Q says that they never chose this ability, and how they didin't understand why all these horrible things happend because of them, asking Steinbeck why this is the case, when everyone is supposed to be equal in the eyes of god. Steinbeck being that god does exist, but that he has no space in his heart for Q.

This makes it pretty apparent that Q has not wanted to hurt all the people that they did, but that they were conditioned to do so, by the PM.

Q hasn't been seen since, but I would really enjoy seeing Yosano and Q interact, becuse they share so many similarities.

I don't think there would be a redemption arc for Q anytime soon, but Q is very dear to me as a character, and I really want them to appear more, the only problem being is, I have a feeling they are once again, locked up.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #q bsd #bsd mori #bsd q #kyusaku yumeno #bsd yumeno #bsd analysis #bsd anime #bsd port mafia #bsd yosano #bsd kyouka #bsd characters #bsd 15 manga #yosano akiko #bsd theories #bsd thoughts #bsd kyusaku yumeno

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princessbrunette · 4 months

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when did you know you loved me? pt.3/4 ♡

deer!reader had never been more comfortable with anyone in her life. she enjoyed that she got to be herself around him — a little weird, sometimes quiet, simply enjoying eachothers company until she could think of something to say.

“it feels oddly good. like the contrast of the cold shells on my hot back? it’s therapeutic.” pope observes as you sit cross legged on the beach beside him, placing the collection of shells you’d gathered along his bare back, enjoying the peace it brought you.

“okay new business venture, i offer my services of shell-therapy where i place shells on peoples backs along the beach and they pay me lots of money.” you smile, watching your boyfriend shake his head from where his temple rests on his stacked hands.

“oh hell no, this is a special service for me only. far too intimate. also as much as i enjoy this, i wouldn’t pay for it. bad business move.” pope banters in response and you laugh openly. he always entertained your silliness, or your goofy ideas that logistically made his head hurt just a little. to this, you felt a wave of affection.

“i love you.” you grin, shaking your head. it’s the thousandth time you’ve said it, but the abruptness of it compared to the conversation makes pope lift his head, craning it around to look at you with a confused yet adoring smile.

“oh— well, i love you. a lot.” he reciprocates and you lean forward, kissing his sweaty temple.

“can i ask you something a little weird? there’s a segment missing in my ‘us’ section of my journal and i wanna fill it out.”

“ask away.” he croons as he settles back down in the position he lay in before.

“when did you know you loved me? was there a moment? or was it a slow gradual thing that just crept up on you?”

there’s a silence for a moment as pope considers, before he slowly rolls over — tipping all the shells off his back back onto the sand and laying on his back once more, breathing out a slow breath of consideration. the sad “hey” that you were about to mewl at him destroying your artwork on his back died on your tongue, more interested in what he had to say.

“you know… there’s part of me that wants to say the first moment i saw you i was in love with you. i mean, shit — it absolutely felt that way.” he splutters with a quiet laugh.

“really?” you return his tone, chuckling as you gather your shells once more, not wishing to lose them.

“i mean yeah. when i saw you struggling to walk all those dogs along the beach after the storm i remember thinking ‘okay, that is definitely the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen’” he relays, soft smile remaining as he closes his eyes once more, enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face.

“aw…” you hum, pulling your knees to your chest and continuing to listen.

“and then of course i saw you again working at the library, and i knew i definitely had to have you, even though i kinda felt like a creep thinking that… because you barely knew me.” he cringes and you giggle, starting to place shells on his toned stomach instead.

“but i dunno… i think… i think i knew for sure that i loved you, like hard core— capital L loved you… was the first time you came to meet my folks. you came to dinner and you wore that pretty dress with the flowers on it? the one i love? and i could see the way my pops just thought you were everything, and my mom clearly adored you… and i realised i didn’t just love you… i wanted a life with you. like, the whole shebang… marriage, babies one day… all of it. you’re like… my forever. ugh, that was total cringe. but it’s true.”

he peeks an eye open, to see if you’d totally caught the ick for his sappy story, but was happy to see you grinning ear to ear. you launch forward, pressing a kiss to his mouth. it’s a little sandy and salty, but it’s pope — so you don’t care.

“i want you forever and ever.”

“yeah? good. i want that too.”

#8k celebration ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ 𐙚 ა #pope heyward prompt #deer!reader

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wutheringskies · 11 months

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Wei Wuxian: The Untamed Hero

Wei Wuxian had to be killed even if:

1. He carried his sword

2. He didn't use gui dao

3. He didn't create Yin HuFu

4. The Wen remnants were not in the plot

Then, why? The reason is here, voiced by Jin Zixun of all people:

Wei WuXian, you are too bold! Did the LanlingJin Sect invite you today? And you dare run wild here. Do you really think that you’re invincible, that nobody has the courage to confront you? Do you want to overturn the Heavens?”

Wei WuXian smiled, “You’re comparing yourself to the Heavens? Excuse my language, but your face is a little too thick, isn’t it?”

So, you see, this untamed heart can only meet with tragedy as the world is unrighteous, as those who are in power think their actions cannot be contested (and they often aren't!), and that their words are like the law. How many times have we seen, a convicted powerful person escape the justice system? Far too many. And how many times innocents or victims were framed for crimes? Also too many. People like Wei Wuxian aren't condemned by fate, but rather, being born into a world where the "heavens" are those who are powerful and corrupted, he very well might be destined to live tragically, along with others of his type.

Returning to the matter of this particular scene: on one hand, the Jins throw private banquets, gilded with gold. The major scandals are: Jin Zixun is forcing the Lans to drink alcohol! You see, Lan Xichen can't outrightly refuse, so he is trying to be polite about his rejection. Jin Guangyao is trying to reason and excuse, and distract. The crowd spurs Jin Zixun on, wanting to see the Lans drink for once and fall to their level.

Everyone is in their own fine little world, doing their niceities in their golden halls drinking expensive wine, admiring pretty women, gasping at scandalous behavior, asking for favour, gossiping etc.

And then Wei Wuxian walks in. Uninvited. He simply drinks the wine himself, before demanding these people to spare him their time for real wordly issues, such as deaths, debts, cruelty, the parts that society wishes to hide. A few scenes later, we are shown with much description, just how terrible Qiongqi Path is. That's the Jin's backyard. You see their achievements that are drawn on those big walls? We see the reality of the people making them.

Now, let us come to another incident. Think of the soup incident. I fully expect before Wei Wuxian came into the scene, people were simply gossiping, uninterested in finding out what was going on, why Lady Jiang is crying. Then, Wei Wuxian comes and realizes Jiang Yanli who never really cries... was crying, and firstly decides to beat the shit out of Jin Zixuan. Secondly, he understands the whole truth, beats Jin Zixuan up for humiliating his Shijie, and also makes the other girl face responsibility.

Although his shijie had an easy temper, except for how they cuddled and cried together the day the three of them reunited after Lotus Pier was destroyed, she hadn’t really shed many tears in front of others, much less cry so loudly, so pitifully in front of so many people. Wei WuXian was filled with panic. As he tried to ask her, Jiang YanLi was crying so badly that she couldn’t even speak properly. Then, when he saw Jin ZiXuan standing on the side, astonished, he fumed with anger, wondering to himself why it was the dog of a person again. With a kick, he pounced on Jin ZiXuan. The fight between the two would have alerted the Heavens. All of the cultivators around the base came to break up their fight. Amid the ruckus, he finally understood what was the cause of all this, and became even more angered. He spread his tough talk, saying that one day he’d definitely make Jin ZiXuan die in his hands, he told people to drag out the cultivator woman.

A round of questions later, the truth emerged, and Jin ZiXuan’s entire body was frozen. No matter how much Wei WuXian continued to curse at him, he returned neither words nor fists, his face dark. If not that Jiang YanLi held up her hand a while later, while Jiang Cheng and Jin GuangShan came to pull Wei WuXian away, it was likely that even now Jin ZiXuan wouldn’t be able to attend the hunt of Phoenix Mountain.

See.

The point is, perhaps, people feel Wei Wuxian's actions are unnecessary. But imagine if he wasn't there! The consequences as I predict them will have been:

1. Jiang Cheng who doesn't want to upset a prominent clan would've grumbled and cursed underneath his breath, but eventually just moved away from the ruckus and taken his sister away.

2. Perhaps the truth would never have been found out, unless Jin Zixuan later searched by himself.

3. Thus, Jiang Yanli's reputation would be stained for the years to come.

It's because Wei Wuxian dared that the truth was revealed. I took this small incidents simply to highlight this, without the addition of more factors. In the book, often, it might seem like people are trying to stop him from creating trouble. You might often wish, ugh, this is going to be so bad... The point is Wei Wuxian knows! He's not stupid, he knows of the consequences of his actions.

But he isn't the one creating trouble. It was already created by the likes of those very people who try to stop him from investigating deeper. The trouble in question is that immoral and unrighteous words and actions and decisions have already been made. Society tries to hide them. If you can't see it, it's not there. Yet, even if it is not visible, a crime has its traces and it will bleed into their world sooner or later.

Wei Wuxian forces people to snap out of their comfort zones. He doesn't care for the barriers they set around themselves. Here are some examples to explain what I mean by these barriers:

Who dares hit Jin Zixuan, who's the only heir of LanlingJin, even when he deserves it? Protected by his status, his birth, his clan who dares? Wei Wuxian does.

Who dares to annoy Lan Wangji, the second jade of Lan, who from birth is considered otherwordly, strict, immovable, rigid, untouchable and protected by his extreme cold aura? Wei Wuxian dares.

Who dares to enter cultivation society without even wielding sword, without even cultivating a core? Wei Wuxian!

Since time unknown, treasures have belonged to the powerful sects: The Lan Clan and their library, their many secret techniques. The Jin clan and their treasures, their gold. The Nie Sabres. The Zidian. Yet, a son of a servant somehow ends up possessing the most powerful treasure all by his own! Everyone goes to this popular refinery, some famed blacksmith, or that popular sect to get specially created spiritual weapons, yet Chenqing, one of the most powerful weapons, was forged alone by Wei Wuxian during his 3 months in the Burial Mound!

Since years, the cultivation world has taken to heart rules of Lans, words of the powerful sects, and their leaders! Then, once again, this orphan child comes and bends the world and changes the cultivation society forever! Yiling Laozu said that... Yiling Laozu created... Yiling Laozu's manuscripts...

His words literally become the law.

Think of how 13 years after Wei Wuxian's death when "all was peaceful" despite us knowing very well, just how much shit happened after his death - slaughter of minor clans, deaths of two prominent sect leaders, xue yang etc (because, you know, most of it was purely accidental, kept hush-hush, or the victims were people who weren't important), he comes back to life and in a matter of a couple of months, upends the cultivation society again.

The "problem" is that this guy simply doesn't conform. The problem is that he is better. The problem is that he is not unnecessarily humble about it, despite his origins. He doesn't seem to treat himself as an outlier, but an equal. (That's why I hate insecure Wei Wuxian, like this guy is righteous enough he won't even treat himself badly.) The problem is that all those barriers - social classes, power, the locked doors - they won't keep him away.

Even if he was only the Jiang Da-shixiong with a bright golden core, he will still not be a conformist. To those who aren't used to having their decisions questioned, he is their worst enemy. To whose who are used to talking in circles, spreading rumors, he is asking them. What source do you have? What is the factual evidence behind what you are saying? Why are you saying this now?

Think of how he cross questioned a petty seller selling Yiling Laozu portraits in Qinghe, and how he questioned the gathered cultivation sects in Lotus Pier during Sisi and Bicao's intervention with the same sort of attitude. Surely, there was a major class difference, power difference between the two. Yet, they don't matter to him. What matters is the truth.

So, no matter what, when the people who are in power, start having too much dirty laundry and corpses in their backyards, he will definitely know. For this guy, knowing isn't enough - he will get to the crux of the issue. The problem is, he even has the skill for it. He has the ability. One also can't distract him with offers, promises, gifts, riches, status, women. He doesn't care for any of that. He perhaps might even hate one's victims. Yet he will stand up for them.

Of course, those who are in power, all smile at each other. They understand things sometimes have to be done. People sometimes have to be silenced. "We know better."

Then, Wei Wuxian comes in and says, actually you don't. He comes in with factual accounts, evidences, forces you to face your misdeeds. Says you're all a bunch of hypocritical people. No, perhaps what is worse is that he will make you realize that's what you are! Because he's got to be good at talking, too! He's not going to act on anger or be stunned in fear.

So, now you have someone who's not only digging into your evil deeds, someone who's capable, who's not easy to persuade, but also someone with high emotional intelligence who can play the same role as you do, of being a noble, accepted gentlemen with immaculate manners, of very high literacy and outdo you. Because this guy knows very well how society works, he can comprehend social cues perhaps better than you can. He can use your own polite words and nature against you.

It's precisely because of this he must be killed. Perhaps, in every world, Wei Wuxian will end up being the victim. It's only that in MDZS, these were the particular circumstances, and those were the particular excuses.

My personal take is: sometimes it is good to be a centrist, and hold everyone's better intentions in mind. most of the times it might not be, as there are many conflicting systems in place that allow for true victims who are stuck. most often, the victims are always the ones who DON'T have a voice, who are brushed over as numbers of corpses, rather than people with stories. most often, kindness is shown in little action that are trampled upon by those who hold true power. most often the people who are good, who are heroes die young, or are hated and ridiculed, for speaking up for the victims. it's not right, and never will be.

if someone like wei wuxian or his presence in the book makes you uncomfortable it might be because you hold the "niceities" and the pleasantries to be of more importance than the issues at hand. just because something is too troublesome doesn't mean it is wrong. if everytime he enters the scene you're scared of what he's going to do next, you should know it's not him who is the problem but the prople who aren't doing anything who are. don't be scared of "trouble-makers." he's not erratic or spontaneous. he has considered society's standards and deemed it useless. why is that that the koi tower scene, where he is in his "yiling laozu, loss of control, threatening" moment is followed immediately by him being extremely kind to Wen qing ? it's not that he's losing control. it's that Jin Zixun wouldn't have acted and told him where the people were without him using intimidation tactics. Wei Wuxian is the one forced into bad corners by the powerful people, where he has to show his edges. Don't end up twisted the narratives. if you bite someone for a while, expect to be hit.

#wei wuxian #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #wangxian #my meta #my thoughts #cultivation world bullshit #my essays #When i first watched the untamed Wei Wuxian made me uncomfortable and scared at times #I felt uncomfortable reading the bits of his YLLZ era #and koi tower scene #ive done some introspection and grown

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lucozadehulahoop · 10 months

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A Question of Time (Astarion x afab!Tav) part 4/?

Chapter summary: Astarion comes to terms with the peculiar effects of Tav's blood running through his veins, and leaving her is becoming more difficult than he'd originally anticipated.

Also: Astarion unwillingly finds himself reading a smut fic.

Tags and T.W.:pre-bg3!Astarion, slave!Astarion, demi-goddess!tav, kinda NSFW (minors stay away kindly, thank you darlings).

words: 2.5k

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

Tav felt the bite before she could even see it coming.

In her complete state of confusion, he twisted her hands even tighter in Astarion's shirt, frightened yet seeking comfort from the strong hold he had on her at the same time.

They were completely locked in on each other, almost as if letting a single breath of air between them would have been a fatal mistake.

Tav whimpered softly as her mind finally caught up with the sharp pain in her neck, the languid pull of her blood being drained from her flesh. She would have been lying if she said she hadn't already suspected something about Astarion's nature, but it had never quite mattered to her in the grand scheme of things.

"A-Astarion..." She pleaded with him, uncertain on whether he'd be able to stop himself. Tav wasn't human, she could withstand most perils situations that others couldn't, but neither of them could know the consequences of a vampire drinking her blood of all people.

Astarion was completely lost in his bliss. Not only had he just broken one of his Master's cardinal commandments by drinking the blood of a thinking creature, but he'd just switched from two centuries of eating rats and dogs to sipping on the very ambrosia of the gods.

He felt strong. No, more than that, he felt invincible, like he could walk right up to Cazador and snap him in half if he wanted to.

The next thing he felt was warmth begin to spread through his body in the first time since forever. He let out a groan of relief, sinking his teeth even deeper into Tav's neck, making her cry out. "Astarion, please!" And that, was when he finally remembered himself and what he was doing, his eyes flying open in alarm.

He was very careful to hold her still as to not hurt her while he retracted his fangs in the most gentle manner he could muster. "Oh what have I done-- what have I done?" Astarion cursed himself as he looked at Tav' vacant eyes and the giant gaping wound he'd just given her. In a fit of panic, he first attempted to stop the bleeding by putting pressure on her neck with his hand, then opted to do the same with the nearest, cleanest piece of fabric he could find.

He brought her over to the bed so she could lay down, never once stopping the pressure he was keeping over he wound. "Tav? Tav, darling, keep those pretty eyes on me now--" Astarion tried his best to keep her from drifting further away from him, but his attempts were seeming more and more fruitless by the second. "No, no don't you do this to me, okay? I made a mistake --- a truly wretched mistake. I never meant-I never wanted to hurt you please-"

Astarion suddenly heard the words he was speaking out loud in his own head. Was he worried? For someone else other than him? Was he afraid to... lose Tav? He blinked a single tear and realised his face wasn't just wet with Tav's blood. He was... crying.

"Tav, just... just say something... please darling, I'd give anything to... hear that bratty little voice of yours right now..." Astarion pleaded with her silently, undecided if he was more afraid about her dying in his arms or how much it hurt to care about another person again after so long. And why did he care so much about her? The two of them weren't lovers, nor had they known each other long.

Maybe it was the fact Astarion was now aware of what she'd sacrificed for him. That despite appearances, she was just as much of a prisoner inside the Crimson Palace as he was.

It could have been because he saw an affinity in their rather different tragidies. Or maybe... Tav had been the only person he'd met in his undead life that had tried her best to help him without seemingly wanting anything back from him. It could have been that Astarion may have possibly been harbouring the small hope of having found a friend, someone who didn't treat him like a monster or use him for his body. Someone he was beginning to like, that drew him in with her insufferable self righteousness and her pouty lips---

"Shh, quiet..." Her sweet voice came to him finally. "Can't you hear it? Your heart... it's beating." She murmured weakly before falling asleep with her head on his chest.

Astarion feared the worst. Tav was clearly delirious, thinking that she could hear the heart beat of a vampire --- then he felt it too. Incredulously, Astarion put a hand over his chest and listened. His heart... was truly beating.

He laughed in shock, welcoming the tears of joy that ran down his face as he tried his best not to hurt Tav while his hand was still keeping pressure on the wound.

For five more minutes Astarion lay in bed and revelled in the fact he had a beating heart once more. Then, slowly, the steady rhythm began to de down until it finally came to a familiar halt. Tav's blood had briefly, but undoubtedly made him human.

With a cool head once again, Astarion managed to rationalise the intense feelings he'd felt while he'd been worried sick over Tav. He wouldn't have been able to fret over her so much in his normal state, but that didn’t mean they hadn't been real. For a brief moment he'd been yanked out of the hardened selfish shell that came with being a vampire and he'd remembered what it felt like to care for someone else.

So... he hadn't always been such a bad person, he thought as he gazed down at Tav, who was still sleeping on his chest. Thankfully, he wound had been healing fast, at almost unnatural speed.

That still didn't make things right.

He'd taken something from her forcefully, used her for his own needs. And he would have been a dirty liar if he said he hadn't liked it too. A single taste of her blood and he'd been brought to ecstasy.

Now back in the seat of power, his selfish mind told him Tav was too valuable to let go. She made him strong, gave him unimaginable pleasure. What if... he could walk in daylight if he just drank enough of her blood? Even if only for a few hours...

Things would be even more complicated if Astarion were willing to openly acknowledge how deeply he desired Tav. The mere thought of it scratched at a possessive itch at the back of his brain he hadn't even been aware he had. She may have been powerful, but she was too sweet, too trusting of the world despite the environment she'd experienced. Shouldn't it have been... Astarion's responsibility to keep her from harm? From the terrible monsters out there who wouldn't have thought twice about exploiting her? After all, he owed her, considering everything she had done for him...

...☆...

When Tav woke up, she found tea and biscuits on the bedside table. She tentatively touched the cup with her fingers and found it to be cold, almost as if the beverage had been prepared hours ago.

She looked around to find she was back in her room, snugly tucked into her bed. Reaching for her neck, she let out a slight hiss at how tender her flesh still felt.

"Thought you might like to know... prince charming himself is here... and I doubt he's looking for me..." Astarion sneered as he looked out the window, his sharp eyes zeroing in on the valiant young knight who'd come to court Tav. It should have been none of his business. The sun had nearly almost set and it was about time he himself go going before he wasted another night.

Tav barely managed to sit up on the bed. It didn't usually take her so long to recover whenever she got hurt. Yet, she was feeling rather... sluggish and warn out. "Oh... is it one of those people asking for handkerchiefs again?" Tav huffed, closing her eyes and rubbing her midriff a little. "Just throw one down for him, will you Astarion? I don't understand... is there a shortage of cloth in the city? There's always a new one coming around... singing a song or asking very nicely..."

Astarion gave Tav a look of pure confusion. Did she really think that knights and nobles trying to serenate her at dusk were simply people who needed handkerchiefs? It clicked in his head then, that when a lady would give a token of her favour, the token usually resembled something akin to an embroidered cloth or handkerchief.

When the realisation hit, he burst out laughing in Tav's face.

"What?" Tav searched his face for a reason to his hilarity, now she was the one to be confused. "The first time it happened... this gentleman showed up, he was a terrible singer, kept me up all night with his... whining... so I started throwing things at him. Out of the pile, he picked at a handkerchief, seemed pretty happy, and left. Never saw him again. The others have been more or less the same."

It wasn't hard to believe they never came back. Trespassing on Cazador's grounds at night was dangerous business. Astarion grinned to himself in a rather evil thought. Tav had been unknowingly drawing in a fair amount of unsuspecting prey, and for some reason, it gave him great satisfaction to know all of her suitors up to that point had come to a rather sticky end.

"Darling, let me explain something to you—" Astarion began to say as he walked towards her, but he was interrupted by the lousy notes of a poorly strummed lute. The terrible sound of it made him visibly cringe.

"My lady — oh, fair lady —" The voice outside began to sing out of tune.

"Oh no..." Tav whined. "Just, throw something down the window of the tower for him, will you? I really am not in the right state to deal with this right now..."

"Sure, how about that priceless pianoforte in your music room?" Astarion snickered. "I bet that will keep him quiet. For good."

"No! I do not want you to flatten the poor man with my piano!... just... let's just try to ignore it..." Tav searched through a pile of books next to her bed, deciding to attempt reading as a distraction.

"Oh lady, lady of the tower-

Why, oh why would you leave me so... sour?"

"Oh sweet hells, is this guy actually serious?" Astarion cursed and shook his head, marching over to open the window and peek his head out. The knight was unsurprisingly taken back by seeing him instead of Tav.

"I say, are you incapable of taking a hint?" Astarion shouted down at him. The man was gobsmacked, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. "The lady of the tower is rather indisposed at this moment..." He said languidly, purposely making the man draw the wrong conclusions. "In fact, she is completely bedridden... if you catch my meaning... I do apologize as it is completely my fault..."

Okay, so maybe he was laying it on a bit too thick. But it wasn't as if Astarion was jealous or anything. He just enjoyed messing with people. It was one of life's little pleasures.

"Now get lost, the last thing you want is to get caught out there after dark..." Astarion gave him one last warning before closing the windows shut.

"You didn't have to be so mean to him, you know?" Tav said as Astarion turned back to face her.

He took in the state he'd left her in and hated the fact he was sprouting a sense of empathy at an incredibly inconvenient time for him. Tav had done so much for him, and he'd yet to hear her screaming at him for taking a chunk out of her without permission.

Astarion didn't want to say goodbye. He decided then and there he was going to leave as soon as Tav fell back to sleep, which in her condition was probably going to be soon. All he needed to do was speed the process along.

He picked up the first book he could find on her drawing desk and sat down in a chair next to her bed.

Astarion looked at the title on the cover and tried his best not to roll his eyes. Tristan and Iseult. Of course, he had to go and pick a love story.

"You really don't have to read to me just because you feel bad-" Tav began to say, but Astarion cut her off.

"Excuse me, I'll have you know I am a very prolific reader, and you, my dear, seem to have a lack of understanding when it comes to courtship so this will be... an informative way to pass the time." He said, and swallowed thickly, already dreading the experience.

"How so?" Tav asked, blinking up at him curiously.

"Because-" Astarion huffed, already feeling uncomfortable in his chair. "This-" he said, wagging the book up in the air. "Is one of greatest love stories of all time and maybe you'll be... more aware of what's going on the next time some fool comes singing underneath your window..."

Tav raised a quizzical eyebrow at him, but asked no further questions. Astarion cleared his throat and began the reading. He was surprised to find the story was a lot less boring than he'd remembered, clearly catching on to the fact it was an unofficial re-telling of some sorts, due to new characters and extra encounters he'd never known from the original version.

Unfortunately, Tav was very interested too, hanging off his every word. She didn't seem like she was about to fall asleep any time soon. Astarion did his best to counteract this by letting his voice drone on in a deep soothing tone, yet his eyes almost jumped out of his skull when the tender love story took a very unexpected turn.

"Tristan watched as his fair love drank down the potion so hastily, the liquid spilled down her perfect neck and between the curves of her---" Astarion coughed nervously and turned the page, hoping Tav wouldn't notice as he skipped to the following passage. "Both drunk on the intense effects of the love potion, with trembling hands they reached for----- t-their, um, thriving bodies---"

"Hey! You skipped a section!" Tav protested.

"No, I didn't!" Astarion huffed back, pressing a hand to his forehead. How in the hells had he ended up recanting some bard's published smut-fic, he would never know.

"Let me see that..." Tav snatched the book from his hands and it was all Astarion could do as he jumped on her bed like a cat to get it back.

---

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#astarion x reader #astarion #astarion angst #astarion fic #astarion fluff #astarion smut #astarion x f!reader #astarion x f!tav #astarion x female reader #astarion x female tav #bg3 astarion #astarion x you #astarion x tav #astarion x y/n #bg3 x you #bg3 x tav #bg3 x reader #bg3 x f!reader #astarion x afab!reader

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scary-grace · 8 months

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Enough to Go By -- a Shigaraki x F!reader fic

Your best friend vanished on the same night his family was murdered, and even though the world forgot about him, you never did. When a chance encounter brings you back into contact with Shimura Tenko, you'll do anything to make sure you don't lose him again. Keep his secrets? Sure. Aid the League of Villains? Of course. Sacrifice everything? You would - but as the battle between the League of Villains and hero society unfolds, it becomes clear that everything is far more than you or anyone else imagined it would be. (cross-posted to Ao3)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Chapter 1

You had a best friend when you were little, just like almost everyone, and the two of you were as different as two people could be. He was a boy and you were a girl. You were the oldest of four, and he was the youngest of two. His family was rich because his dad was some kind of business genius, and your family was – not. You and your best friend had exactly two things in common. First, you lived across from each other on the same street, him in a big new house and you in one that had been falling apart since before your parents were born. And second, and maybe most important, neither of you had a quirk.

It was okay for your best friend. He still had time. People in his family got their quirks when they were two or three or four or maybe even six, like they were supposed to. But everyone in your family is born with theirs. Your family’s quirks do different things, but they’re the same type of thing – powering up or watering down or just changing some part of somebody else, and they’re active until the person’s old enough to turn them off.

You hated being home. You had one younger brother who could turn your hearing up and down, one younger sister who could turn your color vision on and off, and twin baby brothers who could make you throw up whenever they wanted to. Going to school, or going across the street to play in front of Tenko’s house with him and his big sister and his dog, was the closest things ever got to normal for you.

Tenko wanted to be a hero. You knew he’d be the best hero, because he was a hero already, even without a quirk. Nobody was every left out when you and Tenko played at school, because Tenko could make everybody feel included, and you spent so much time trying to placate your siblings that you knew how to make sure everybody had fun. But for everybody to have fun, people needed to be there. Tenko was the one everybody believed in, the one who made everybody feel important. When you spent time with Tenko, you felt like you belonged. Tenko was already a hero, even as a kid. You knew he’d be amazing at it when he grew up.

Only he didn’t grow up, your best friend. You walked home from school together one day, said goodbye and crossed to your opposite sides of the street, and when you looked out your window the next morning, Tenko’s house was gone.

A villain did it. That’s what everybody said, and you didn’t know what else it could be, because Tenko’s house was in ruins, like a giant had smashed it with its foot or someone had blown it up from the inside. You raced across the street without your shoes on, right into the middle of what was left, and even though your parents spent money they didn’t have on a specialist whose quirk let them wipe memories right out of your brain, you still have nightmares sometimes about what you saw. Tenko’s big sister Hana was dead. His dog was dead. His mom and his grandparents and his dad were dead. But he wasn’t there, so you made yourself believe he was alive.

And some part of you kept believing, even after the foundations of an apartment building were laid over the spot where Tenko’s house used to be, even after your family moved away. Your youngest younger siblings, a set of triplets born after you moved, thought Tenko was your imaginary friend because of how much you talked about him. And even once you stopped talking about him, you never quite stopped thinking about him. Your best friend, who wanted to be a hero. Who would have been the greatest hero the world had ever seen.

Everyone else forgot him, forgot him so cleanly that you almost wonder if it was a quirk. But you remember your best friend – small things, weird things, like how he’d sometimes get so excited he’d almost cry. His All Might impression, which was so bad it almost worked. His dry skin and the way he’d scratch his neck. You wonder what happened, why he wasn’t found with his family. You wonder a lot of things.

“Everybody loses touch with their neighborhood kids,” Hirono says when you say something about it, while you and your friends are getting drunk in Kazuo’s backyard one weekend. “You’re not special.”

“Don’t be mean,” Yoshimi protests. “Her friend died. That’s different!”

“She just said he didn’t die. She thinks he’s still alive,” Sho says. He whistles and rotates one finger by his ear. “Cuckoo.”

“There should be a podcast about this,” Mitsuru says seriously, and Hirono and Mitsuko laugh at him. “No, there should! Five people confirmed murdered and a kid goes missing – and it’s never solved? That’s podcast material.”

“It’s newsworthy,” Kazuo says, his voice as expressionless as it always is these days. “Have you looked it up?”

“Yes,” you say. Too many times, probably. “The articles don’t say my friend went missing.”

“They said he died?”

“They don’t mention him at all.”

“Ooh. Spooky.” Sho makes a UFO noise, and Yoji, Yoshimi’s on-again, off-again asshole boyfriend, throws in some spiritfingers to go with it. “Maybe he’s imaginary after all.”

“Or maybe you do have a quirk,” Yuichiro, Mitsuko’s latest too-innocent boyfriend says earnestly. “Your family’s all status effects, right? Maybe you made everybody else forget him.”

“Why would I do that?” you ask blankly. You’re a little drunk. “He’s my best friend.”

“I thought I was your best friend,” Kazuo says. Kazuo’s also a little drunk. “You don’t have a quirk. I would know. I know everything.”

The confidence is annoying, or it would be, if it wasn’t true – and if you didn’t know just how badly Kazuo’s quirk has ruined his life. “Maybe not,” Ryuhei says speculatively. “You only know what you know to know, you know?”

You try to parse that for a second, then give up. Mitsuru is wheezing with laughter. “Come on,” Ryuhei says, annoyed. “You know what I mean. Kazuo only knows the answers to questions he knows to ask, right? What if he hasn’t asked the right question?”

Kazuo’s quirk is called Search Engine, and it’s not an overstatement. He can ascertain anything he asks about, and if the questions aren’t hyperspecific, he can take in vast amounts of information. Too much information for even the smartest person to sort through and interpret without going crazy under the strain. He was going to be a hero, but UA High pushed him too hard, and something went wrong in his head. The smartest guy you know, who used to be funny and kind and should be changing the world for the better right now, is instead drunk in his parents’ backyard, still trying to figure out where his emotions went. You haven’t seen Kazuo care about anything in two years.

But you can see him thinking about what Ryuhei said, trying to wrap his mind around a question. “Don’t,” you say, and he looks at you, puzzled. “If I had a quirk, I’d have had it when I was born, just like the rest of my family.”

“Your family has some funky quirks,” Yoji says. You have a feeling you know where he’s going with this, and you’re not wrong. “Isn’t one of your cousins a villainess?”

“She barely counts,” Hirono says. “What could they even charge her with if they caught her? Possession of a video camera and bad taste in men? They could charge Yoshimi with that, too.”

“Hey!”

Sho and Ryuhei join in on the ribbing, and you lean back against the steps. Kazuo rises from his chair a little unsteadily and comes to sit by you. “You never mentioned this friend of yours before.”

“It never came up.” You glance sidelong at him. “Why? Are you jealous?”

“No,” Kazuo says. He hiccups. His alcohol tolerance has always been weirdly low. “I’m surprised you never asked me to find him. Maybe I could.”

“I know.” If Kazuo ever recovers from what UA High did to him, the government will be all over him. He could find anything, anyone – but like Ryuhei said, he has to know what questions to ask. “I think I’m scared of what you’d find. I don’t want him to be dead.”

“Dead might be better.”

You almost choke on the sip of vodka you just took. “Excuse me?”

“If he died, he died,” Kazuo says. No shit. “If he’s still alive, he’s been missing for fifteen years. During my work-study, I assisted in the search for several missing children. Nothing good had happened to the ones we found alive.”

You hadn’t thought about that, what it would actually mean if Tenko is still alive, and your brain supplies you instantly with a list of terrible things that could have happened to your best friend. Your imagination is pretty vivid. Your stomach turns. “I don’t want that,” you say. “I just want him to be okay.”

“Sometimes dead is better,” Kazuo says again. And then he’s quiet.

You try to get back into the mood of the party, but what Kazuo said sticks, and you’re kind of mad at him about it. The old Kazuo wouldn’t have said something like that, or else he would have put it more gently. You miss the old Kazuo. Thanks to a villain fifteen years ago and UA fucking High, you’re now short two best friends.

Kazuo’s a good guy, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t drawn to him because of who he reminded you of. You have a soft spot for dark-haired boys who want to be heroes. If Tenko hadn’t gone missing and the two of you had gotten to grow up together, you probably would have wound up with a big, stupid crush on him, the supercharged version of how you felt about Kazuo. But a relationship between the two of you wouldn’t have worked out, for the same reason your relationship with Kazuo didn’t work. Being a hero comes first. Being a hero always comes first with guys like them. You probably wouldn’t like them as much if it didn’t.

Getting drunk at Kazuo’s is a typical Friday night pastime among your friends, and usually everybody sleeps over. Everybody usually includes you, but you have to work tomorrow, which means you have to go home. Sometimes you and Kazuo still fool around when you’re both drunk, and you want to avoid that, too. You drink a glass of water and start sobering up while the others are still sorting out places to sleep, and then you tell them all good by and head out, taking three trains in a loop around the city to give yourself even more time to sober up before you have to walk home. You don’t live in the nicest neighborhood. You need to be alert.

When you finally get off the train at your stop, you realize you’ve got another problem. You’re hungry, and you won’t have time to cook when you get home if you want to sleep at all tonight. The all-night convenience store a few blocks up from your apartment is beckoning to you, and you give in without a fight. You’ll pick something to eat, eat it in the store for one last period of sobering-up, and walk the rest of the way home.

You feel a little better with a few bites of food in your stomach, and you’re pretty sure you’re not going to throw it up later. You hang out in the corner of the shop, a good spot to people-watch from if there were any people in here but you and the owner. The TV behind the counter is blaring the news about some villain attack, somewhere – two dumb-ass middle schoolers, one sludge villain, one can of whoop-ass opened by All Might. What else is new.

“Turn that shit off.”

The voice is raspy, and it’s coming from the far corner of the store. So there’s somebody else in here after all. You rise to your tiptoes and peer over the shelves to spot the speaker. They’re wearing a black hoodie with the hood up and browsing for energy drinks, and apparently they have a real problem with what’s on TV – which means the proprietor has a real problem with them. “Got a problem with heroics? Or does seeing real heroes just remind you what a bum you are?”

“Fuck off,” the guy in the hoodie says sharply. “You’ve got more in common with me than you do with them. If you were there, you think you’d run in to help? No. You’d wait for a hero, because you’re useless and pathetic. At least I don’t walk around pretending to be something I’m not.”

Hoodie guy sort of has a point, even if you don’t like how he’s phrasing it. Hoodie guy also sucks at reading the room, because after that little back-and-forth, he yanks an energy drink out of the case and a package of sour candies off a shelf and heads up to the counter. The proprietor laughs in his face. “Get out of here. If you think I’m selling even a stick of gum to you, you’re out of your mind.”

Hoodie guy’s shoulders tense. “You’re so desperate to defend All Might that you won’t take my money? He’s not gonna fuck you.”

You must be a little more drunk than you thought, because you have to clamp your hands over your mouth to stifle a laugh. But there’s nothing funny about the situation that’s unfolding in front of you. The proprietor’s looking increasingly pissed, and Hoodie Guy’s hands are out of his pockets, open and twitching at his sides. You don’t know what either of their quirks are, but you’ve got seven siblings. You know what it looks like when a situation’s about to spiral out of control.

“I said get out,” the proprietor spits. He shoves the drink and the package of candy back across the counter, hard enough that they fall off and roll across the floor. Hoodie Guy’s hands begin to lift from his sides, and you step out of your corner. “You want to start something? Go ahead. The cops will be here so fast –”

“Not fast enough for you,” Hoodie Guy hisses. His hands are all the way up, reaching over the counter.

You scoop the snacks off the floor and duck into the scant space between Hoodie Guy and the counter. You elbow him a bit by accident and he stumbles, swears at you. You ignore him and focus on the proprietor. “Hi. I’m still hungry. Can I get these?”

The proprietor squints at you, nonplussed. Behind you, Hoodie Guy’s gotten his feet under him, and if it’s possible, he’s extra pissed. “Get out of my way.”

“You don’t want this kind of trouble,” you say, ignoring Hoodie Guy. He’s the instigator. You need him to shut up so you can handle this before it escalates. “I know you don’t. You want him out of here and he wants his snacks. If you don’t want his money, mine’s just as good.”

You’re conscious of Hoodie Guy looming over your shoulder. He’s not all that much taller than you, but he’s standing a little too close. You take your wallet out, and that seems to settle the issue. “You’re lucky your girlfriend’s here to help you out. That’ll be ¥1800.”

You pay up and collect the snacks. When you turn away from the counter, Hoodie Guy’s right there, and you get your first good look at his face – or at the life-sized model hand clamped over his face. That’s – weird. You can’t see his expression, but his tone of voice is unmistakable. “If you think –”

“I know, I know,” you interrupt. “You’re not gonna fuck me.”

It’s not a joke you’d make sober, but with the proprietor calmed slightly down, you have to knock Hoodie Guy off his game somehow. It works. He makes a weird, strangled sound, and you grab him by his sleeve and tow him out the door.

He lets you do it, which is a surprise, and you let him go as soon as the doors close behind you. You hold out the snack and the energy drink. “Here.”

You can’t see his face, but you can see one red eye, peering out at you through the fingers of the hand. “It was pretty stupid of you to get in my way.”

“It was pretty stupid of you to go up to the counter. If you’d stormed off he wouldn’t have chased you.” You’ve seen Sho use that tactic before – needle a store owner until they want him gone more than they want to check his pockets. “Just take this, okay?”

He raises one hand and scratches at his neck. There’s something familiar about the motion, and the scarred, scraped-raw patch of skin there. Maybe you’ve seen something similar at work. “Either you used some kind of quirk or you got lucky. Which is it?”

“Neither. I have seven siblings and I’m good at toning things down.” You’ve wished for a quirk that lets you affect others’ moods more than a few times. You had to learn your de-escalation techniques the hard way. “Do you want these or not?”

He’s still scratching, and something’s pulling at the back of your mind, harder and harder. “Seven siblings,” he says slowly. “That’s three more.”

“Three more than what?” you say, puzzled. And then it clicks.

You have seven siblings now. When you lived across the street from your best friend, you only had four. And now you get why the scratching looks so familiar, why there’s so much scar tissue in the place he’s clawing at – because he’s been scratching that same spot for a decade and a half. It doesn’t matter than his hair is grey-blue instead of black, that his eyes are red instead of grey. It doesn’t even matter that he’s got a creepy hand stuck over his face. You know who you’re looking at, and the surge of joy that overtakes you is like nothing you’ve ever felt before.

You’d keep it to yourself, ordinarily. But tonight you’re a little drunk, and you can’t hold it in. “Tenko,” you say, and he freezes like he’s been struck by lightning. “You’re alive!”

Tenko stays frozen until you reach for him, at which point he bolts, and you really shouldn’t follow him – but you’re drunk and it’s your best friend and he’s alive just like you knew he was, so you chase after him. He was a little clumsy when you were kids. You were always a little faster on your feet, but his legs are longer than yours now, and he keeps you at a fair distance until he trips.

It’s sort of your fault he trips. He’s looking back over his shoulder, checking where you are, and he’s not watching his feet. It’s a bad fall. He sprawls out, the hand over his face dislodging and bouncing across the concrete, and you hear him cursing under his breath in a voice that carries a familiar strain. You’ve heard that before. You do what you did back then. You run to his side and drop to your knees, hands outstretched to help. “Tenko –”

“Get away from me! Don’t touch me!” Tenko lashes out with one hand, and instinct tells you to get out of range. The hand he lashes out with looks wrong – hurt, maybe, in the fall. His other hand is up over his face, covering it the same way the model hand was. “Father – I need – where –”

Father. You wonder if Tenko knows what happened to his father – but he’s feeling around on the concrete with the maybe-broken hand, and you realize what he’s looking for. “It’s over here,” you say. “Stay there. I can –”

“No.” Tenko lunges past you, seizes the hand, secures it over his face. Then he turns on you, and the hatred in his eyes sends a bolt of pure terror down your spine.

He knocks you onto your back. You know some self-defense – like any girl, like any person without a quirk – and you kick and thrash, arching your back, trying to throw him off. Some part of your mind is still spinning, because it’s Tenko, your best friend, who wants to be a hero – and it’s Tenko, his forearm coming down across your throat and half his body weight leaning onto it. You cough and sputter, and Tenko raises his other hand, all five fingers outstretched. “Tell me what I want to know and I’ll kill you fast. Lie and it’ll be slow. Who are you?”

You don’t know how he expects you to answer with his arm over your throat. Dark spots are beginning to fill your vision. You shove at his arm, and his hand closes around your wrist. His grip is hot and dry and shaking, and a split second after he’s touched you, the burning starts. It’s like his hand is dipped in acid, like it’s clawing through your skin one layer at a time, and you scream in pain. Or you try to. He increases the pressure on your throat and chokes the sound off. “Don’t touch me,” he snarls. “And don’t scream. Who are you?”

You manage to rasp out your name, and you see Tenko’s expression shift. “We went to school together,” you gasp. “I lived across the street from you. We played together. You were –”

You black out for a second, and the pressure on your throat lifts slightly. “What?” Tenko spits. “I was what?”

“My best friend,” you whisper. Your eyes well up, tears running down your face when you blink. “I missed you so much –”

Tenko stares down at you for a moment longer. Then he recoils away from you, up onto his feet and back five or six steps. He’s cradling his wrist. You roll from your back to your side and gasp for air. There’s a rattle in your breathing that tells you your windpipe’s damaged, and when you blink the tears and spots from your vision to stare at your wrist, you see that your skin is raw, bloody and oozing. There’s the outline of all five of Tenko’s fingers, his thumb and middle finger joined, rotted into your skin.

“Go,” Tenko says. You look numbly up at him and see his face twisted behind the hand. “Now.”

Your wrist – his hair – his eyes – Tenko has a quirk now. An awful quirk. “What happened to you?” you ask helplessly. “Where did you go? Are you –”

“Go!” Tenko snaps at you. “Before I change my mind. Run!”

You scramble backwards and collide with something. The energy drink and the package of candy, which you dropped when you ran to help Tenko after he fell. The sight of them makes you want to burst into tears again. You don’t want to take them with you. You bought them for him. Without looking his way, you pick them up and set them on the ground between the two of you, pushing them towards him so he knows who they’re for. Then you force yourself to your hands and your knees and your feet and run for your life, away from the best friend you now know you’ve lost for good.

You didn’t want Tenko to be dead, and he isn’t. But Kazuo was right, too. Maybe dead would have been better. Anything would have been better than this.

#shigaraki tomura x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x reader #reader insert #x reader #shigaraki tomura #please hold #a bisquared production

194 notes · View notes

elliespillowprincess · 8 months

Text

SHES MY DRUG

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pt 1

pt 2

pt 3

a/n: this is my first ever (kinda) fic so it kinda sucks and is all over the place.. rockstar/band ellie has been on my mind too much lately so yk i had to.

c/w: modern au, reader is in college (premed), biker ellie!!! smut next part!! mentions of smoking, drinking and drugs (reader and ellie), fem reader, plus size reader, insecure reader, fluff, abby is readers mean ex (abby lovers im sorry, i still love her) angst, body dysmorphia, fatphobia, race of reader not specified, TERRIBLY WRITTEN, not proofread

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT SUPPORT NEIL DRUCKMANN

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“hey did you hear about the music festival in town this weekend?” your friend, liliana, asks, making you wake up from the trance your computer put you in. you and liliana had been friends prior to college, meeting in your honors anatomy class in high school. with a similar career goal in mind, you two decided to go to the same college and become roomates. you two had been in your towns coffee shop for hours, trying to finish an assignment your biology professor gave you two.

“there’s a festival here? nobody ever comes out here.” you reply. nobody has ever done any concerts, festivals, or performances in your town. it was so small, they wouldn’t make enough profit so it just didn’t seem worth the trip. the only performances you ever saw were done by drunken men in your college bar.

“yeah! i don’t really know anyone that’s going though. it’d be nice to check out!”. she scrolls to find a post advertising the festival, with a list of who’s going. to nobody’s surprise, the list is small; 3 performers. “the tickets are only $50, we should go!!” she says whilst you’re reading the informative post. “i don’t know, lili, i mean who even are these people? is it even worth our money?” the idea of wasting your weekend at a festival, where you don’t know anyone playing, when you could be studying for finals makes you nervous.

“come onnn y/n, we can’t waste our uni years studying all the time! when we graduate, we’re gonna be swamped with med school work, might as well make the most out of the time we have!” liliana says cheerfully. sure, you could spare the hours, but you had so much on your plate. finals, work, and not even mentioning the fact you just broke up with your girlfriend of 4 years. you look at her face, she’s using puppy-dog eyes to hopefully persuade you into going. “i’ll think about it.”

you’re laying in your dorm room, back hunched over your laptop, with your hands in your hair. liliana was staying at her boyfriends house for the night, leaving you all alone. the amount of studying you’ve done in the past hours giving you a throbbing headache and double vision. you harshly close your laptop, saying “i’ll do it later.” in your head, lazily getting up to grab some advil from your medicine cabinet. you open the familiar bottle and pop a few pills into your mouth. walking to your bed, you plop down, and begin scrolling mindlessly on instagram.

then you remember what your friend was telling you about earlier, and you decide to look at your towns instagram. a new post making you curious as nothing had been posted since the fourth of july fireworks at the towns lake. you click on it, a flashy banner lighting up your screen.

GOLDWHIT GROVES FIRST EVER MUSIC FESTIVAL; FEATURING:

BEHIND THE ANGER

ELLIE WILLIAMS

DRAW MY BLOOD

THIS SATURDAY ONLY

you chuckle, finding the names of the bands amusing. one of them, however, drew your attention. the only one who was seemingly a solo performer, ellie williams. you decide to close your towns page and type the name into your search bar. your eyebrows raise at the amount of fan accounts this “ellie” has. you click on the only account with the blue verification symbol on it, her page filling your screen.

holy shit.

she was hot. like, really hot.

you click on her most recent post and it’s a video of her at one of her concerts. she’s playing an electric guitar furiously with gritted teeth. you hear girls screaming and see their hands reaching out trying to feel her. clearly, she craves all the attention so she pulls off her white wife beater, throwing it into the crowd. the screaming only intensifies as she has a douchey smile on her face. the video cuts of and you scroll through the different videos the post has, all of the same nature. you read the caption, “see you next time, dallas.” with no tags.

you open your messages app and begin typing to liliana.

you: ok maybe we should go to that festival i just stalked one of the performers and FUCKKK she’s hot

the bands have goofy names tho

“behind the anger” boy shaddup

you wait until you see the bubble appear, indicating she’s responding.

lili😦: TOLD U WE SHOULD GO! venmo me the money im buying tickets rn.

you laugh softly at her excitement to go, and open venmo, sending her $50. another message pops up.

lili😦: *photo attachment*

who were you looking at btw?

you open the message seeing the qr code for your ticket.

you: that ellie williams chick she looks like an asshole but a HOT asshole yk

i want her to play me like that guitar

gonna become a groupie😋

your tiredness takes over after texting lili for the past few hours, telling her goodnight and closing your phone.

the brightness of the morning sun wakes you up. it’s saturday, and thank GOD you had no classes today. you stay in your bed, opening tiktok. it kinda creeps you out that the first video is an edit of the girl you were gawking over last night. as the edit plays, you become even more excited for the festival later in the day. you look to the top of your screen for the time, 12:37. you partially curse yourself for letting yourself sleep in that late, getting up to brush your teeth.

lili😦: ARE U EXCITED FOR TN??

andrew is asking if he can come

smh he’s so clingy

kinda cute tho

the pinging of your phone causes you to finish brushing your teeth, spitting out the foam in your mouth and wiping your face.

you: i don’t mind

yall better not be like those concert couples

sitting on his shoulders n shit i’ll knock you off

you didn’t really mind as you’ve known andrew as long as you’ve know liliana. they’ve been together for the past six years, and you guys used to go on double dates with your ex all the time, it was like a little group.

lili😦: LMFAOOO we won’t

can we get ready tg 🥺

you have all the cute body glitter

you: sure come home whenever

you turn on the shower, grabbing a towel from the cabinet before hopping in. while washing your body, you begin thinking about what you’re gonna wear. you start to think about what ellie williams would notice you in, before laughing at yourself for being so delusional. she doesn’t know you, or care about you.

you’re just another girl.

hours had gone by, liliana and her boyfriend were hanging out at your shared apartment, pregaming and getting ready. the festival started at 4, and ended at 10. “hey y/n? where’s the-“ you walk in, and liliana is making a gawking face. “you look SO hot hello?” beaming at you. partially, you feel a little silly. you’re wearing the outfit she picked for you: a lacy cami, short black skirt, and a leather jacket. you have dark smudgey eye makeup, dark red lipstick, and star clips in your hair.

“i feel dumb.” you say, looking down and laughing at yourself. you never wore revealing clothes, being wayyyy too insecure to show yourself off this this. i mean, your boobs were spilling out of your shirt, your ass visible under your skirt, and your stomach uncovered. “shut the fuck up, you look good. we gotta leave soon- shit wait do you have pasties?”

as andrew drives the three of you to the concert, liliana in the front and you in the back, you become nervous. what if someone’s mean? what if something bad happens? what if it gets too cold? what if you start your period?

“y/n?” the calling of your name makes your head perk up. “we’re putting on that ellie chick, gotta know some of the music if you’re gonna SMASH her tonight!!” she says with a giggle. you roll your eyes as lili goes to her music app and selects her top song.

she’s my drug

the title pops up along with a photo of ellie lighting what looks like a joint. the song starts and it eases your nerves, her raspy voice over the melodic electric guitar makes a perfect combination. the excitement for the festival grows once again as the three of you near the festival.

you were kinda surprised at the amount of people that came. it looked like the entire town was there. there were a lot of unfamiliar faces wearing the bands merch. you saw a lot of girls wearing shirts with ellie williams’ tour dates on the back. “i hope the bands aren’t shit.” andrew says, laughing and getting out of the car. “at least we know one of the performers isn’t.” the three of you, out of the car, walk to the entrance. there were old-looking metal detectors that look like they were borrowed from the local police department. you all go through and have your bags checked and tickets scanned, walking towards the one and only stage.

the first band, behind the anger, got on stage. not many people were going crazy, but there were a few drunken men screaming their songs. liliana and andrew were enjoying them, but you were dying for something to drink, craving a shitty festival cocktail and a cigarette. tapping liliana on the shoulder, “hey, guys? i’ll be right back, i’m gonna grab something to drink.” you shout over the music. “alright, don’t take too long! your girlfriend should be out soon!” you roll your eyes laughing and shuffle your way out of the crowd.

walking up to the one and only vendor, you gaze on the menu. different beers, seltzers, cocktails, and liquors. “can i just cut infront of you? i gotta get up there soon.” you hear a voice behind you say. you turn around, partially offended and, holy shit.

it felt like a movie, a book, a fanfiction. what are the chances that she’s infront of you right now? you blink your eyes, not really believing what you’re seeing. nobody’s around you two besides the vendor, shocking as you’d expect girls flocking around her. it’s her. it’s ellie williams.

“excuse me?” you blurt out, not realizing how rude you sounded. i mean, you were just standing there, the only one in line, not moving. was it rude for her to ask. she kind of laughs at you, kissing her teeth. you got a good chance to look at her. she’s wearing cargo pants with a black wifebeater shirt that lifted slightly, allowing you to see what looks like abs, her tattoo covering her forearm, and her hair tied messily in a half-bun.

“i said,” she says, taking a half step towards you, “can i just cut infront of you?” you look around, dumbfounded. “no, you can’t. i’m ordering right now.” you say, matter-of-factly. you spin on your heels and order whatever shitty cocktail your eyes first land on and she chuckles at your behavior. the vendor types it into his tablet. “that’ll be $9.24. cash or card?” you open your purse, looking for the $10 bill you stuck in your purse for this exact reason. of course, like a fucking movie, it’s gone. “sorry just give me one sec.” you say, furiously looking through your purse, embarrassed.

“i got it, put it with mine. lemme get a rum coke.” the girl says flatly, slightly pushing you aside. you roll your eyes at the push and step aside, very embarrassed at the entire interaction. you grab a cigarette from your purse and attempt to light it, but the fluid is all out.

of course. how much more cliché could this get? ellie puts her card away in her wallet and shoves it into her front pocket as the vendor goes to make the two drinks. “need help?” she says, reaching her hand into her pocket and getting out a lighter, it was black and very scratched up. “these are bad for you, y’know?” she says in a cocky tone before grabbing her own and lighting it. the two of you were so far away from the rest of the crowd it that it was almost quiet.

“i’m studying to be a doctor, i know.” you say, the cigarette hanging limply between your lips still attempting to light it. “what’s a smart girl like you doing smoking and drinking then huh? you’re the one who’s supposed to tell people not to.” she says, bringing the lighter to the stick in your mouth and lighting it for you, the closeness of your face to her hands making you nervous. “pineapple cocktail and a rum coke?” you hear the vendor shout; the moment breaks and ellie pushes the lighter into her pocket before grabbing the two drinks, handing you yours before turning around and waving slightly, with the cigarette in her mouth.

“see you up there, doll.”

“bitch you will not believe what just happened” you say, finally making it back to where andrew and liliana were after having to shove through the crowd, almost spilling your drink all over yourself. “i just spoke t-“ the sound of screams interrupts your sentence and people push you and your friends forward, trying to get closer to the stage. you look up to see what is making people so eager, and see her. and holy shit, does she look good on stage. “how are we doing tonight, goldwhit grove?” she says into the mic, making the squeals of the girls around you erupt even louder, some drunkenly trying to take their shirts off before their more sober friends stop them.

after speaking into the mic for a bit about god knows what, you could barely hear her, she strums her guitar making people scream even louder. “what should we start out with?” she slurs into the mic. she looks like she’s on something, but what musician isn’t. you hear people screaming different names you haven’t heard of, before she says “she’s my drug? that’s all yall wanna hear.” she laughs before starting the song. it is her top song for a reason, it sounds phenomenal. you’re trying to enjoy your time, but the amount of people pushing you and stepping on your feet is annoying you.

after a few songs you hear her voice echo, “guys, let’s back it up a bit, you’re crushing people.” part of you wants to think she said that because she was looking at you, but you reality check yourself quickly. nobody listened, and you feel someone step on your heel for the hundredth time, finally deciding to say something.

“did you not hear her? i can barely breathe dude chill out.” you say to the drunken girl behind you. she looks angry, angry that you had the balls to speak up. she shoves you aggressively, making you bump into the person in front of you. now they’re mad at you too, for bumping into them so harshly. you try defending yourself when you feel a cold drink splashed on your chest. your final straw.

you shove your way out of the crowd, leaving behind your friends and deciding you’ll wait until ellie’s performance is over to join them again. once youre out, you make eye contact with the girl on stage. she has her head low and it almost looked like she was looking at you. you get lost on her, she’s playing so aggressively but strategically. before your imagination goes too far, you see her look around to the rest of the crowd, girls screaming when they look her direction.

you walk away, deciding to take a seat on the grass and light a cigarette while you wait. there were a lot of other people sitting around you, assuming they left for the same reason. you’re scrolling mindlessly on your phone until you hear a familiar voice.

“y/n?”

you look up, and it’s her. why the fuck did she have to be here? you were actually enjoying yourself, besides the few rude people, and she had to show up and ruin it all.

“what the fuck are you doing here abby?” you spit out. you’re furious. you haven’t spoken to her in a few weeks, and there were actually days you didn’t think about her at all. “hey, i was just trying to be nice. what are you all butt hurt about?” she says, towering over you sitting on the grass. she always made you feel small, not just physically, but mentally too. you sigh, not wanting to let her control your emotions any longer. the partially-distant sound of ellie’s guitar stopped, making it seem so much more quiet.

“you here with ava?” you spit out at her. she looks like she took that offensively, even though she was the one who cheated on you. “what’s that supposed to mean?” she says back, her tone becoming more aggressive. you push your cigarette into the grass, putting it out and standing up. “what are you wearing?” now that you’re closer, you notice her cheeks are red, and so are her eyes. she’s crossed. you know how she acts when she’s drunk, so you simply gather your things, trying to ignore the entire situation and join your friends. the people who were previously around you had gotten up to go back to the stage as ellie had gotten off.

“where are you going?” it sounds like she expects you to stay. to come running back. to cling to her. “to my friends.” you flatly state while walking away. you feel a hand grab your wrist. “i’m talking to you, y/n. it’s rude to walk away from people when they’re talking to you, y’know?” her tone is that of mockery. like you’re a child and she’s trying to teach you a lesson. “did the breakup make you gain that much weight? god i really ruined you huh?” you try to yank your hand away, “let go of me abby, seriously it’s not funny.” her grip doesn’t subside and only grows stronger, making you wince.

“she said no dude, can you not take a hint?”

you turn around and see ellie walking towards the conflict. this is so cliche. “are you a groupie now?” abby laughs at you, and as soon as she says that ellie shoves her off. as attractive as ellie was, abby was stronger. she was built, and she could take down almost anyone. “stop, this is dumb.” you say as they get close to each other. “yeah, yeah it is. don’t know why i’m getting all mad over a groupie slut. you can have her.” she says, walking out of the venue. you see a ditsy blonde girl following after her asking if she’s okay as she furiously walks, not responding to her. you try not to cry at her words, why does she still have such an effect on you?

“you okay?” you hear ellie asking you, almost forgetting she was there. “yeah- yeah. sorry about that. and thank you.” you say, extremely embarrassed while wiping your tears. she’s just looking at you. not saying anything. she didn’t know what to say.

“wanna go get a drink to cheer you up?”

that’s how you ended up in a random bar, with ellie fucking williams. after she asked you to drinks, she took you to the back stage, careful not to be spotted by any fans, where she grabbed her bags and headed for the exit. she was able to sober up before the ride home. while walking out, girls spotted her, running up and asking for her auto graph. she obliged for a few until one asked to sign her boobs, “i gotta go, girls.” her bodyguards following behind the two of you making them back off. you were expecting a van or a car, but no.

she rides a motorcycle.

she just got hotter.

lifting the seat, she tosses her bag into the large compartment, replacing the extra helmet which she handed to you. your heart was racing, you’ve never ridden on a motorcycle before. you nervously put the helmet on your head. “here, lemme help.” she says, pulling the band tightening the helmet ensuring it’s on tight, before tapping it lightly and swinging a leg over her motorcycle. she reached her bent elbow out, waiting for you to use her to help you get on. you grab onto her arm and swing your leg over, getting more comfortable.

“hold on.”

“so where’d you hear my music?” she says, babysitting another rum and coke looking at you intently. she was careful not to drink too much knowing she had to drive home. the two of you had been at the bar for two hours, just talking. a few people coming up every so often to get her autograph. “i actually just only heard about it the other day, through the festival.” you say shyly, hoping she won’t take offense. she laughs softly looking down. “i guess it’s a good thing for me huh? got another monthly listener and a pretty girl talking to me.” everything she says is so blunt, so easy.

you start to wonder how many other girls she’s charmed with the same line.

“wanna head out?” she says. “you can come back to mine- fuck, i can take you to yours. sorry, that sounded desperate.” she laughs, picking up the two helmets and your purse, handing it to you. with the bill paid, the two of you walked to her bike. she opens the door and waits for you to walk through.

“why don’t we go back to yours?” you say boldly. she looks surprised, and sets her helmet on her bike, placing yours gently on your head. she puts hers on, hops on the bike, and helps you get on.

“alrighty.”

you didn’t know how much you’d actually like being on a motorcycle. there’s so much adrenaline, she’s speeding through cars and air is whipping around the helmet. your chest is pushed tightly to her back, your hands wrapped around her waist. luckily, her wearing her helmet made it impossible for people to spot her, making it an easy ride back to her hotel, the only hotel in town. parking her bike in a designated spot, she holds her arm out allowing you to slide off easily, her following behind you. she opens up the bikes seat, grabbing her backpack, and locks it.

“we should hurry before someone spots you!” you giggle. the alcohol making you feel so light and ditsy, following her to her room like a lost puppy. she pulls the key out and unlocks it, holding the door for you and locking it after you. she tosses her things on the hotels desk as you lay down on her bed. smiling to yourself.

“what’cha smiling about pretty girl?”

you giggle, tapping the bed indicating her to lay next to you. “this doesn’t feel real” you laugh out as she crawls on the bed, “i mean, im living every gay girls dream right now, hello? i’m in a hotel with ellie *hic* williams!!” she laughs at your drunken state, reaching to the bedside mini fridge to grab a seltzer. “you’re cute, y/n”. your ears kinda perk up, not remembering when you told her your name.

“how do you know my name?” you say, squinting your eyes at her. she cracks open the can. “calm down, princess, i heard it when that dick was talking to you earlier.” you notice she becomes a little annoyed. “i’m glad i took money out of her pocket but fuck, i got douches at my show.” she takes a long drink from her can. your rose-colored glasses didn’t even care about abby right now, or how much ellie hated her from their first interaction, you just wanted more of her.

you snuggle closer to her, wanting to breathe her in. you’re on the left side of her, laying on your side as she’s on her back. the level of intimacy between the two of you makes your head spin. you guys just met. part of you feels bad that she, a fucking rockstar, probably wants more than a simple conversation and cuddling. you sit up slightly, trying to remove your shirt, “hey, what are you doing?” she says, looking confused. you’re struggling to take your shirt off, it being tight and you being drunk. “feel bad. you probably get girls eeeeveryday doin this.. know why you’s wanted m’here so- so i’ll do it.” your works are slurring and hardly making sense and you’re starting to get frustrated. partially from not being able to take off the uncomfortable shirt, and part from not wanted anything sexual now, not in this state and not when you hardly know her.

she grabs your hands and stops you, making you look at her. “hey, i don’t wanna do anything, ‘kay? we can watch a movie after i get you some clothes to change into.” you put your arms down watching her get up and get an oversized band tee. “don’know if it’ll fit, els.” you say, sadly. she turns around, waiting for you to try it on. “just try it, princess.” you try taking the shirt off again, but just can’t. you get so frustrated you start tearing up, making her turn around and help you. “m’gonna take it off okay?” you nod, lifting your arms as she helps you take your shirt off. “don’t look!!” you say, laughing and pushing her away. she turns around, laughing, “okay, okay” allowing you to put the shirt on and take your bra off from under the shirt. finally, you slip your skirt off.

“done!” you say, smiling watching her turn around as she makes eye contact with you, her face turning pink. she walks towards you, smiling down at you on the bed. “wanna watch a movie?” she asks, picking up a remote and a bag of what looks like joints, pulling one out along with the lighter in her pocket. you nod, asking “can i have one?” she closes the bag, replying “you’re way too drunk, sweetheart.” she flicks on the tv, putting on whatever shitty movie was playing on the hotel tv at the time. you both crawl under the bed, cuddling up into her. you hear a familiar click of the lighter, and the sound of the paper and weed burning. she plays with your hair, making you more and more sleepy, drifting off into a deep sleep state.

the next morning, you wake up unsure of where you are. you look around the room, its messy and there’s clothes, food, and drinks everywhere. you lift your head and look to the right and see none other, than ellie williams.

what the fuck happened last night?

#ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams fluff #eillie williams x reader #rockstar ellie #rockstar gf #ellie williams smut

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jujutsushiboat · 2 months

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yuuji's domain represents the nirvana

i made a little analysis about yuuji's domain in 265 and the way i think it represents the state of nirvana

1. the concept of nirvana

in buddhism, nirvana represents the ultimate stat of enlightenment, where one escapes from the cycle of life and death (samsara), and achieves the highest possible level of peace and freedom. in nirvana, one is liberated from suffering and negative emotions such as greed and hatred (take yuuji's hatred towards sukuna).

2. yuuji's domain

yuuji's domain is a non-combat domain. in fact, he mentions that he "doesn't even know what it is", and the mere reason he opened it was because he was desperate to talk to sukuna. the domain itself features various locations from yuuji's childhood - train station, park with a crawfish lake, farm. on one panel, we see horses - in buddhism, horses symbolise the journey towards spiritual liberation.

all of these locations have a sense of innocence and simplicity - a sharp contrast to sukuna's domain which is a hellscape, with a shrine as its only "landmark". there is a sense of tranquility and peace within yuuji's domain, as if a world without suffering exists.

3. yuuji's purpose

yuuji's purpose for opening his domain isn't to fight or kill. he simply wanted to talk to sukuna. his actions in this arc prove that he has no intentions to harm anybody - his first and foremost purpose is to protect people and he does so through any means necessary. his willingness to sacrifice himself for others and his pure heart, despite everything that happened to him, is what gives him his strength.

yuuji sharing his memories and experiences with sukuna is aligned with the buddhist practice of seeking understanding and enlightenment through introspection and dialogue, rather than conflict.

4. yuuji's perspective on life

yuuji rejects the notion that humans are mere tools with predetermined roles, explaining that even the simplest acts, like walking a dog or nurturing a family, hold intrinsic value. this perspective challenges sukuna's nihilism, emphasizing that every life, no matter how seemingly insignificant, has worth.

finding the joy in the smallest things - the joy that is often overlooked in the world, is a crucial aspect of nirvana, hence yuuji's focus on his past - the simplest moments of his childhood, which are full of joy and innocence.

5. buddha statue and kshitigarbha

yuuji's hand sign, a mudra symbolizing kshitigarbha, and the presence of the buddha statue we see in this chapter, are both an indicator of his enlightenment, as he is able to use a domain as a result of his awakening. the story of kshitigarbha ties in closely with the fact that yuuji offers sukuna a chance of salvation, if he releases megumi. this is an act of kindness, compassion and benevolence, in spite of sukuna's crimes, just like kshitigarbha offering a chance of enlightenment to all beings who were stuck in the depths of hell, as he saw value and worth in each of them.

6. the role of a person

when yuuji discusses the role of a sorcerer and rejects the notion of people being mere tools, the panels featuring the faces of those he respected and lost—wasuke, nanami, nobara, gojo, choso, and junpei—are a clear indication that yuuji, unlike sukuna, does not consider humans disposable and worthless. yuuji respects them, mourns them, and wants to make sure they are not forgotten.

these values are important in buddhism and are what makes a person worthy of nirvana: the willingness to accept the nature of things, the value of life, the importance of kindness and benevolence, and respect and care for others. basically, yuuji as a person embodies the core concepts of buddhism and its ultimate goal - nirvana.

#idk if this makes sense #i kinda fell into a rabbit hole and now i'm balls deep in Buddhist lore #jjk manga #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #itadori yuuji

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tw1l1te · 11 months

Text

Selfish memories

⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖

CW: mentions of stalking, obsessive behavior, manipulation, dark themes?

After being with your heroes for 8 months, you were able to go home. Your REAL home.

Walking around your college campus almost felt bittersweet, every little thing reminded you of them.

From the fireflies, hummingbirds, and even the stained-glass windows in the main library.

You were going to miss them. You really did.

But all things come to an end, and you will always cherish the games and each hero, never forgetting them or the special moments you had with each of them.

The first month was tough, you woke up from constant nightmares, crying in your sleep. You dreamt about them every night, whether it be old events and memories, or completely new ones.

It was as if you were still with them in your dream state.

By 3 months, you were carrying on with your life, getting a new job and meeting new people that you could call your friends. You even started going out with a cute blonde from work, who had such an outgoing personality, it balanced your quiet and reserved nature.

The nightmares had long stopped, but you were a fool to think that was the last of it.

You were walking your dog around the woods behind your house one night in mid-December, going out for a quick walk so Wolfie can relieve himself.

You named him that on purpose. You wanted to keep a little part of your adventure with you, even if it wasn't really him.

You feel your hand give out as Wolfie runs off, barking like crazy at something.

"Wolfie no-!"

You chase after him, jumping over weeds and ducking under branches, losing him by the second.

You see him run under some arched trees, a landmark you've come to recognize since you've began living In your little house.

Running in just leggings, some old boots, and an old sweatshirt wasn't the best idea, as you were quickly getting soaked through.

You ran through the arch of trees, hoping you'll see Wolfie soon, as it was getting dark very quickly.

Looking around, you noticed you weren't in the woods anymore, but it was still snowy, but now with fog. You kept walking, hoping to reach someone or something soon.

Soon enough, you saw some light and small voices that sounded very familiar.

Stepping out from the fog, you see the very familiar sight of trees and koroks running about, some cheering at your presence, other hiding in bushes.

You halted in your steps.

Before you, in front of the Master Sword's pedestal, were the heroes you loved knew.

They saw you before you even saw them.

You smiled and waved slightly.

"Hey." you whispered.

Wind took that as a cue to run into you and give a bone crushing hug. Sky and Hyrule quickly followed, giving you hugs and squeezes on the shoulder.

Each of them gave you some greeting and affection, leaving Time to be the last.

"We've missed you."

"So I can tell, old man. It's been like, what, 4 months for me? How long has it been for y'all?"

Time looks to the others, silently asking if they should tell you how long it's been.

Twilight and Wars nodded solemnly.

Looking back at you, he smiled slightly.

"(Name), its been three years."

Your eyes watered. You breathed out heavily.

"Damn. And I thought 4 months was a lot."

"It's not your fault. You didn't know. All that matters is that you're here now, with us. We've all missed you terribly and have been searching for a way to reach you." Time stated, looking at you.

You sniffed.

"I missed you guys too. We have so much to catch up on."

Time smiled, placing a hand on your back to lead the group out the forest.

They had FINALLY got you back, after years of searching and trying to find you. They realized what they lost after they let you go. They shouldn't have.

When looking back, you realized you were a fool.

A fool too slow to realize that you weren't returning home this time.

#yandere linked universe #linked universe au #yandere linked universe x reader #linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe au

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mactavishwritings · 10 months

Text

wait for me (soap x reader)

mw3 is out and i'm devastated

here's somethin' short for y'all <3

the day you agreed to marry Johnny was the day he swore to you that he would protect you for life. he swore to you that nothing could touch him now that you had his last name. the night of your wedding, after saying goodbye to your guests, he told you he had now been completed. that he was the luckiest man on the planet and nothing could touch either of you.

the day you told him you were pregnant, he swore he would either retire or transfer to desk duty. nothing could keep him from his family. when he found out it was a boy, he swore that he would teach his son how to be a proper man.

the day you found out he was being sent on his final mission with the 141, he swore to you that this was it. it was the final mission that he would be in any level of danger. it made you nervous; it did every time. this time felt different and you couldn't understand why. your son had just turned 4 and looked just like his daddy.

the day he left for the mission, he swore he would come home. "wait for me, lovie. it's a short mission and i'll be home before you know it. then i'll be yours for a lifetime." you made him pinky swear to you that he would. "i'll wait. i promise."

the day that Simon pulled up to your house, your stomach dropped as you rushed to the door. Gaz stepped out of the car with Price and you expected Soap, your Johnny, to jump out and rush to the door. you stood in the doorway, your son beaming as he greeted his favorite uncles.

John Price held a folded flag with dog tags and his eyes were full of tears. Simon was at your side before you had a moment to take in what was happening. "(Y/N)..." he whispered and you looked between the men, shaking your head.

you collapsed into Simon, the man grabbing you as you screamed. Gaz looked away, not being able to see his best friend's wife in such pain. he saw your neighbors look your way, knowing exactly what was happening as you desperately grabbed at your son.

the funeral was held in Johnny's hometown. his family walked ahead of the casket as you followed behind, your son in your arms. the 141 followed behind you, giving Johnny a soldier's funeral. you were pale and skinny, your son looking around confused as to why everyone was so sad. the casket containing Johnny's body had a scottish flag draped over it and had been put into the ground. Johnny's military portrait was on display next to a picture of your wedding day. his smile was so bright.

you sat next to his mother, who held you so tightly. the both of you refusing to let go of each other, needing the support. Simon was the first of the 141 to sit with you. You grabbed onto his hand tightly, sobbing silently. you wore Johnny's dog tags and your son was wearing his dad's metals and pins. he demanded to and you were not going to refuse. he was a little boy who just lost his father.

you stood to speak, everyone giving you sympathetic smiles. You tried your best to remain composed, for your son's sake, not wanting to cry in front of him. you smiled at the crowd, happy that so many people came out for him.

Simon drove you home, your son asleep in the back seat. "i was there when he died." Simon broke the silence and you nodded. "he was shot protecting me." this was the first time you had ever seen your husband's best friend cry. sure he was emotional when you two asked him to be the godfather of your son, but not like this. "did you kill whoever took him from me?" you asked, voice barely above a whisper. "i pushed him in front of a train." was the only response.

"good."

#winter speaks #soap x reader #johnny mctavish x reader #john soap mactavish x reader #john mactavish x reader #john soap mactavish #johnny mactavish x reader #johnny soap mactavish x reader #johnny soap mactavish #johnny mactavish #soap call of duty #soap cod #soap mw2 #soap mactavish #soap #ghost #ghost x reader

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myuiis · 10 months

Text

incorrect lookism 2

we back on our bullshit with this one

sally: i just watched eli drop a remote on his foot and the only thing he said was "im tired of being alive"

jake: hewwo! i will be youw suwgeon today! intewnal bweeding you say? let's make our fiwst wittle incision

sinu: dowcto, we'wre loswing him!!!! 🥺

jerry: quick! hand me the defwibwiwatow

samuel: please. just cut off my fucking life support

johan: met a dumbass today, awful

zack: you looked in a mirror?

johan: one day you will have to answer for your sins and god may not be so merciful

zack: Go big or go home!

mira: Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home.

zack: I'm going big!

sally: are you drinking enough water?

eli: sometimes tears fall in my mouth

samuel: Something’s off.

jake : Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.

samuel: No, but that’s funny.

goo, to kouji: Look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up!

kouji: proceeds to kick him in the shin and run away

crystal, walking past: Rule number 1, don't call kouji cute or small.

daniel, about jay: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.

vasco: Throw rocks at he.

zack: Hot Dogs.

eli: Kill him.

daniel: Thanks guys.

jake: "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."

samuel: Opposite over hypotenuse.

samuel: Dipshit.

10:

warren, to eli: you can't make everyone like you! you're not sally

sally: w-wait, but not everyone likes me!

warren: who doesn't like you?

sally: w-what

eli: names.

sally: w-

warren: give us their names.

11:

jerry: jake told me to stop worrying and just go get it boy so i'm gonna' go get it boy

jason: go get what?

jerry: i dont know, so i'll just get everything to be safe

12:

goo: we need code names

goo: I’m thinking you all can be sexy beast, marshmallow, record player, beer, and bitch

gun: who’s bitch

goo: who do you think bitch

13:

kouji: send me a pic of you doing the peace sign

crystal: why

kouji: i used you to catfish a sugar daddy

14:

daniel: ok, i get it, you're really stressed out, seven people died-

zack: twelve, actually

daniel: that's not my point. look, theyre dead and whose fault is that?

hudson: yours!

daniel: that's right, nobody's

15:

zack: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

daniel: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

zack: Three of us saw it, daniel. How do you explain that?

daniel: points at jake Sleep deprivation. points at johan Paranoia. points at samuel Delusional personality disorder.

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lupinsera · 2 years

Text

INVISIBLE STRING.

James potter x fem! reader!

summary: In which James Potter tries to find his soulmate.

a/n: English isn’t my first language so forgive me if this has many grammatical and spelling errors!!

James Potter was a hopeless romantic. Since he was a boy he dreamt of finding his one true love or his soulmate. He loved the idea of being with someone till the end of their days, he dreamt of his wedding day. Everything was complete at his dream wedding, the flowers, the seating plan, the location, the best man, all of it! Well… Except for the bride. He’s still on the search for his dream bride.

In his whole life, he had loved 3 people. First was Dolly Goldwood. Dolly Goldwood was a family friend her mother was childhood friends with his mother, Euphemia. So obviously, James and Dolly grew up together. Dolly Goldwood is a beautiful girl. She had gorgeous honey blonde hair, her lips plump and soft and pink, her eyes a beautiful green color, and her smile absolutely dazzling…

James had loved her for 3 years. He followed her around like a little dog following around his owner. Dolly Goldwood had his heart. He would give her flowers plucked from his mother’s garden, he would let her borrow his very expensive toys when she and her family would visit their house, he loved her very much. She was his first love.

But then one day, at her 10th birthday party, he caught her kissing another boy’s cheeks, her pale cheeks now very red as the boy gave her a charming smile. James never knew what heartbreak was until he saw Dolly Goldwood hug the unknown boy. He could feel his heart being shattered into thousands of pieces, is this what heartbreak feels like? 10-year-old James potter wondered… And then and there, James vowed to never ever fall in love again.

Of course, he ended up falling in love with a girl a year later.

It was at Hogwarts. He has just been sorted into Gryffindor. He sat down on the Gryffindor table next to a handsome boy, he was tall and his black hair slicked back, his gray eyes shining with joy. He was grinning so wide James was afraid his mouth might break.

“Hi! I’m Sirius!” the grinning boy said, he put out his hand and grinned, expecting James to shake it and introduce himself, and James did just that.

“I’m James!” replied James. And that was the start of a beautiful friendship.

“Lily Evans!” Professor McGonagall called out.

James watched as a gorgeous red-haired girl walked towards the sorting hat. He could tell she was nervous by the way she was fiddling with her fingers and biting her lip. She sat down and closed her eyes as professor McGonagall placed the sorting hat on her red hair.

After a few seconds, the sorting hat cried out “GRYFFINDOR!”l and then all he could hear were cheers.

Lily grinned and opened her eyes, she giggled as she sauntered to the Gryffindor table. She sat down next to James, who couldn’t stop staring at her.

“Hi! I’m Lily! And you are?” said Lily.

“My name’s James!” he replied.

And then she flashed him a charming smile and stared at him with her captivating emerald green eyes.

“Y/N L/N” Professor McGonagall called out and James took a quick glance at the girl. As she sat down and McGonagall placed the sorting hat on her head, their eyes connected. Her warm (y/e/c) met his deep brown eyes. James felt a pull to her, like some kind of string, like something was connecting him to her.

Their gaze disconnected as the sorting house shouted. His eyes follow her as she walks to her house table, she was grinning like a Cheshire cat. Her eyes are full of glee and delight.

James ended up pining after Evans for 4 years. Every day he would follow her, asking for a date or an ounce of attention. Lily didn’t like that, she very much didn’t like his advances or his flattery or his gifts! It was all too much! If there was one thing that Lily Evans very much regrets was ever saying hi to that arrogant toe-rag!!

Meanwhile, 14-year-old James is head over heels in love with Lily Evans, the brightest witch of their age. He would gladly listen to her ramble about everything and anything. He would do anything to see her smile.

Lily Evans quite liked James. He was a nice lad. But God! The constant gift-giving and the constant asking for a date! It was annoying! She liked him as a friend and she had no intentions of getting together with him! She kept on saying that to him but he just won’t listen!!

I mean yeah, Lily could admit that he was quite nice to look at, but she just isn’t into him like that! Or any other boys for that matter… She liked girls!

And when James found out about it, well he was heartbroken. Again. Of course, he doesn’t blame or is angry at lily. In fact, after that, he stopped all of his advances and actually became friends with her! He found out that they were better paired as friends than lovers. But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t sad… He loved her.

After lily, he took a break from love, for 2 years until he ended up falling in love with his mate’s brother.

Regulus Black. The Slytherin prince. He was a year younger than them, and James never noticed him until his 6th year.

James never knew that he liked boys. I mean yeah he found some lads quite handsome and attractive but he never pursued anything with them. But when he bumped into regulus black on the way to the great hall, James couldn’t stop thinking about him.

James loved the way his face would light up whenever he was with his friends. He loved his gray eyes full of wonder and knowledge. He loved everything about the little black.

Of course, he never made any advance on Regulus, never gave him any gifts, never asked him on a date or anything like that, instead, he chose to admire him from afar. James knew that nothing could ever happen between them since he was a Slytherin and he was a Gryffindor plus he was his mate's brother! But that didn’t mean James couldn’t love him from afar.

Regulus would often spend his free time in the library, James noticed, he would read for hours if he can. And James loved that about him, how he doesn’t notice anything other than the words in his books, how he is so focused on the story that he doesn’t even realize what’s happening in the real world.

James was forced out of his thoughts as someone sat on the table he was sitting at.

He looked at the mystery woman. She had (y/h/c) hair and her eyes were a beautiful shade of (y/e/c). Their eyes connected and James felt like an 11-year-old boy again, like he was being trusted into an old memory. He knew those alluring eyes were familiar but he didn't know how... Until he felt that pull... That connection with her... Y/n L/n

“Hello!” she said while smiling softly at him “I’m sorry. Was anyone sitting here?”

“Oh no,” he uttered. He was appalled. He never knew someone could be as beautiful and elegant as her. It didn’t seem possible. Her. She and her beauty were out of this world. She was what he imagines angels would look like. And the way she spoke to him, with such softness and politeness, she was like an angel, an angel sent to him. His angel.

The sound of a chair being moved forced him out of his thoughts, he looked at the source of the sound and saw that regulus was leaving the library, he already finished the book, it seems. James never noticed.

James snuck glances at the stunning woman. He kept on thinking about ways how he could talk to her, on how he could get to know her but nothing came to mind.

Before he could stop himself, he uttered “I’ve read that book”

SHIT!! No. James never read that book. James never reads books. James doesn’t know anything about books!!

She looked at him surprised. “Really? Was it good?” she asked him.

“Oh yeah! Fantastic” James said, he mentally slapped himself as he uttered those words. Why couldn’t he stop!!! “I love the author. He has very good books” FUCK

She glanced at her book and looked at James in confusion “The author is a woman…”

“Heh, of course… Silly me!” I wanna pitch myself off the astronomy tower.

She started to smile at his nervous laugh.

Wow… She has a beautiful smile… James thought

James never felt that pull with anybody else. He never felt the string connecting him to them. Never. Until Y/n.

And now he knew. He knew that he found his soul mate, his bride that he’s been waiting for for years. It was her. After all those failed relationships and heartbreaks, he had finally found the one.

#marauders x reader #marauders x you #marauders x y/n #james potter x fem!reader #james potter x reader #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter #regulus black x james potter #lily evans x james potter

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