#saying stuff like you better not have given them a window to do whatever they want with her

[medicinemane]

And maybe you'll be like "but if you don't trust businesses, how can you trust welfare?"

I fucking don't. My mom trying to get on food stamps fucked me up because a lady I never met without my permission got my SSN from my mom and started editing my files. My heart still races to this very second whenever I think about it, it kinda messed me up bad and I'll never ever ever see any kind of recourse

And I'm terrified that I'm gonna lose my medicaid just cause I inherited some money from my grandpa

And I've never even applied for disability cause it kinda doesn't matter finding out if I'd qualify or not cause of my depression, when the rules are so restrictive I don't know if I've even be allowed to keep my house

I do not fucking trust these things on a personal level. I feel like out of a lot of people I have the most to fear from them cause I'm on the edge of having things work, and that gets you punished

...but I need medicaid in order to have insurance (and when you strip out the finance side of medicaid, I love medicaid... they're honestly incredible insurance... I just... I just... dental is like 90% of why medicaid is so important to me, ever since I found out this state pays for it I've actually been able to do cleanings which is important to me cause I can't always get myself to brush)

And I think things like disability and food stamps are pretty damn important on a personal level, and honestly are also good for the economy cause they get people spending... it's practically a free cash infusion into the economy, cause these are people who need to buy stuff

There's just so much important stuff welfare does that it's worth dealing with government

No, what I want is more accountability so if someone gets my SSN from a 3rd party like my mom they're held to HIPPA styles standards where that's not ok to access my files without my permission (She changed my fucking address and tried to get medicaid to investigate me for fraud! Never even met me)

Like have some accountability there and in every situation

Secondly I want less punitive focused rules. I'd frankly prefer bezos get on disability than smack down some poor sod cause they got $2000 in the bank or cause their friend lets them live with them for free

If there's gonna be a cut off on these programs, it needs to be a solid step above the poverty line, cause... by definition I assume poverty line denotes kinda the minimum expected income people can reasonably live off of, and if you take away benefits people are gonna lose a chunk of money to covering that stuff themself, so you need a buffer before you kick people off

I don't fucking trust the government for a second, I've actively been fucked by them and on a personal level I avoid everything but medicaid and only that cause everything but the money is pleasant to deal with and I kinda need it (honestly if I was rich I'm not even kidding that I'd rather give medicaid like $400 a month than some insurance company, I sincerely like them as insurance)

But I'd trust them a lot more if they were less punitive, less out to hunt me down and gut me cause someone handed me a fiver or cause I started to get on my feet, and if government employees had concrete rules they had to follow that were actually transparent and enforced

Like 90% of my problems with welfare go away if they're held accountable and there's less "catch the welfare cheats" mentality going around

I don't trust the government in the slightest, but sadly there some jobs it kinda has to do, so I'd just rather force it to be an open book where the public can keep an eye on it and if they step out of line there's consequences (sort of like I don't trust most mega corps but happen to sometimes need stuff from them... did you know literally every cell service provider has been illegally selling shit like your location data to random people like bounty hunters, and the FCC just slapped them with a fine that's 0.02% of their yearly incomes and debated even doing that? I even can offer a source on that)

...I don't trust much of any authority cause they constantly fail me and kinda screw me. Don't trust doctors either, but I still gotta go to them, you know? ...they're just... they're real bad at listening... so many systems need systemic change

(You know who I really don't trust is the cops. I could point to so many examples. My uncle doesn't trust cops either, and he's an ex Fire and SWAT paramedic, he worked with them and we still got into a long conversation where he basically tore into them far better than I can)

(I don't trust authority that's not accountable)

[moonlight-fawn]

Can’t wait to live in a house where I’m not getting constantly yelled at !

[buuniebaby]

receiving and giving head 👅👅

IN THE BACKSEAT - PT1

showing how greatful you are for the way your boyfriend cares about you.

notes: I MISSED WRITING SO MUCH. before I left I had an idea based on this ask + another ask to make a fic about hamzah giving u head, receiving, and giving him a handjob, and I was gonna make them 3 lil short blurbs but i kinda got carried away and decided to just make 3 fics.

contains: kinda dubious consent, road head, the sloppiest toppy you’ve ever seen

wc: 2k 🎀

it’s not uncommon for your boyfriend to get sick of being indoors. it’s almost like an itch, driving him to get out, move, go do something to keep him from bed-rotting.

it’s a feeling becoming far too familiar this morning, creeping up into hamzah’s head because he’s just so suffocated by the house around him. his bed doesn’t feel comforting anymore, just messy and overwhelming. it stresses him out.

the feeling starts to get visible when you watch as he starts doing that thing where he bounces his leg up and down as fast as he can.

“you good?” you ask, looking up at him from your side of the bed. you’ve known him for long enough to know that something’s up - now you just need to go through the 3-4 things that could actually be wrong and figure out what’s bothering him.

“just.. bored.” he says, shrugging to himself. it’s a surface level response, not letting you in as deep as you’d like to be, but it gives you all the information you need.

“y’wanna go for a drive?” you ask, first solution coming to mind. it shocks him for a second, how you’ve come up with the perfect solution given nothing to work with, before he remembers that you know him better than anyone. of course you can guess that he’s restless.

“how did you-“ he says, cutting himself off because he really doesn’t need to argue with you. “yeah, I do.”

“I’ll go with you.” you say, shrugging the blanket you were nicely tucked into off of you in one swift movement. he jerks a little, noticing the way you seemed comfortable under the covers.

“you don’t have to-“ he stutters, but you’ve already made your way out of the bed to get ready.

“want to. it’s fine.” you mutter as you walk to the bathroom. “plus, i’m hungry. this is like, the perfect opportunity to force you to take me through a drive thru.”

not much time passes before you’re hamzah’s passenger princess, dropping to the side of your boyfriend and cranking the seat back to whatever makes you comfortable. as if it’s an instinct, one of his hands creeps it’s way to your thigh, slowly rubbing the flesh. you’ve noticed that physical touch seems to comfort him, even if it’s as small as just having a hand on you.

you tap your fingers on the dash in a rhythmic pattern as he drives, subconsciously trying to pass the time. he looks over at you, noticing your restlessness, and shooting a quick smile at you before focusing himself back onto the road. it makes your heart thump a little harder for a second, and you melt back into your seat.

“have to go to the gas station,” he mumbles, eyes still locked in on the road. “pick up some stuff.“ all you can do is just reply with a soft “mhmm,” knowing from his tone that he’s probably got a lot on his mind.

it’s not long before he’s pulling into a parking lot, tapping your thigh with his hand before he pulls it away to open the door. “be right back, love you.” he mutters; a small comment, but it means the world to you. it’s the way he goes out of his way to make sure you’re safe, knowing he’s not going to be gone long - it’s a sweet gesture.

you’re finding yourself staring out the window into space for a few minutes, before you flinch at the sound of the door opening again. suddenly, you’re melting into your seat again - this time, with a warm smile.

there hamzah is, few things in hand - most notably, an arizona tea can in your favorite flavor. something you didn’t even have to ask for, but he still thought of. your stomach flips and it hits you;

he really cares.

he shoves himself back into his seat, nonchalantly handing you the tea and cracking open an energy drink for himself. you just keep staring at him while he gets comfortable, a adoring glare in your eyes. he doesn’t notice it until he buckles his seatbelt and looks over at you, doing a double take when he realizes how intensely you’re staring.

“what?” he chuckles, searching your face.

“you’re so sweet.” you say, a mix between a smile and a frown on your face forming as you hold your drink in your hands. he looks back at you like you’re crazy.

“it’s just like, a drink-“ he replies back, confused at your demeanor. you roll your eyes.

“you don’t get it.” you sigh, lovingly. “like, I didn’t even have to ask. you just.. thought of me.” you duck your head, softly smiling while rubbing your fingers together.

“i guess.” he replies back as the engine of your car revs, still not understanding why you’re so amused by a simple act. “just wanted to see you smile.”

you think you can feel yourself melting.

he places his hand back on your thigh again as he gets back on the road, and you come to a realization.

you want to give this man the sloppiest, most earth-shattering head he’ll ever experience.

“hamzahhh..” you mumble, looking up at him with those big, glossy eyes, because you know it’ll get it to him. he looks over at you, staggering his attention between your face and the road. he lets out a little “hm?” in response to the sound of his name, making sure you’re okay.

this time, you move a hand over to his thigh, gently tracing the fabric of his shorts with your fingers while you contemplate your next move. his thighs are so fucking beefy and bulky and you think your panties are completely soaked.

“can i-“ you start, cutting yourself off when you realize what you’re about to say. you decide to move your hands a little higher before you say what’s on your mind, ever-so-slightly palming him through his shorts. he lets out a small whine, eyes losing focus on the road.

“what are you-“ he cuts himself off, nearly gasping at the impetuous feeling of your hands creeping up on him. you can tell he’s trying to keep himself from giving in to your touch.

“i wanna suck your dick like, so bad right now.”

hamzah grips the steering wheel as tight as he possibly can.

“yeah- t-that’s- yeah. okay.” he manages to get out, gasping for air. his hips rock upwards, pressing himself into your hands. “fuck- please.”

you give yourself a sly smile, celebrating your success as you reach a hand into his pants. you have to pull his shirt up a little for full access, revealing the hair of his happy trail peeking out - a sight that always gets you going. he’s already letting out a breathy moan the second your hand comes in contact with his cock, pulling it out of his boxers.

“love you s’much hamzah.” you mumble, voice drunken with bliss as you watch him grow in your hand. there’s already precum dribbling over the tip, which you swipe away with your thumb, causing him to shiver and choke on his breath a bit.

as you start to move your hands up and down the length in front of you, a tension builds. you can tell he’s struggling to focus on the road, taking desperate peeks down at the sight below him. you click your tongue.

“keep your eyes on the road, baby.” you say, making eye contact with him as you fingers wrap around his cock.

hamzah thinks he might have just died then and there.

he grumbles as he follows your orders, sweating as he locks his eyes on the road in front of him. it’s almost a little funny, knowing how desperate he is to see the scene below him. you giggle at his obedience before you flip your hair over your shoulder, mouth sinking onto his cock.

“fuck-“ hamzah jolts, feeling your lips drag across his length. “you’re so fucking hot, oh my god.” he lets out, shuddering.

you let out a laugh around his cock, and he decides he can’t take it anymore. eyes still locked on the road, he moves a hand down from the steering wheel and gathers your hair with it. before you know it, he’s created a makeshift ponytail in his hand, tugging at it and pushing your head down.

you gag a little, his cock being shoved down your throat from the mixture of him pushing your head and thrusting his hips upwards. it’s uncomfortable, but watching him take control like this is so euphoric to you - it cancels out.

you hollow your cheeks, letting out a content hum when you feel your nose make contact with the bushy hair around his cock, buried as deep as it possibly can be inside the warmth of your mouth. hamzah isn’t that mean though, so he uses his grip on your hair to pull you off for a breath.

you use your break to gather the saliva in your mouth from the intrusion of his dick, spitting it straight onto his cock, and using your hand to jerk him off with your self-made lubricant. he stays verbal, moaning as the grip on your hair gets tighter.

“didn’t know you were this much of a fucking slut.”

huh.

you like that-

you like that a lot.

his words motivate you to take control, sinking your head back down onto his cock. he moans, then lets out a low chuckle.

“y’like that, huh?” he asks, taking a glance down as he watches you nod, dick still shoved down your throat.

“such a fucking- god,” he stops himself, rocking his hips against your mouth. “such a whore, can’t have her lips off of my fucking cock for five f-fucking seconds. has to suck me off in the car, couldn’t wait until we got home-“ he rambles as his hips buck into your lips.

“fuck- baby.”

you can feel tears building up in the corners of your eyes as you continue working your tongue around his cock while it stays warm in the deep cavern of your throat. you’re shocked at how hamzah hasn’t given up and just crashed the car at this point, from the way his hips slam up into you, silently begging for stimulation.

“gonna fucking cum- shit.” he warns, struggling to get his words out. it only makes you bob your head up and down his shaft faster - he takes it as a silent invitation.

Before you can process what’s happening, there’s a twitch followed by a warmth hitting the back of your throat. it makes you gag a bit before you’re able to regain control and swallow, pulling off.

you’re immediately met with the sight of a disheveled hamzah, sweaty and fucked-out, blankly staring at the road in front of you. it’s not until you process that you’re on the road, which immediately moves your eyes to the speedometer, going a solid 20 above the speed limit.

“hamzah, holy shit, slow down.” you giggle. he needs to take a breather before he slowly nods and complies, slowing the car.

the next thing you notice is the way his cock is still out in the open, covered in a mix of cum and slobber. you wipe your mouth on your sleeve and then carefully shove his half-hard cock back into his pants; it elicits a small shiver from the boy. it’s kind of cute like this, watching him so fucked out of his mind he can barely communicate.

he fixes his posture as he begins to come back to life, rubbing his furrowed brow with one of his hands.

“holy fuck, baby.” he trails off. it’s what he says next in that blissed-out tone that really gets you.

“good fuckin’ girl.”

now that you’ve cleaned up after him, your only responsibility is to make sure he feels comforted. you rest your head on his shoulder from the passenger seat, snuggling up to his lax arm while watching him drive.

“remind me to buy you shit more often.”

[moody-alcoholic]

Safehouse

MDNI +18 content.

Summary: 3.2k words. Ghoap x Reader, throuple. Reader is female (she/her), army nurse, non descript physical features, names used: Ashe

CW: MDNI +18 content. PIV sex, almost caught during sex (kinda).

Previous parts - masterlist - next part

Enjoy <3

When you get to the safe house the sun is peaking through the clouds. The place looks like a regular house, you guess that makes sense, the more normal it looks the less conspicuous it is. Price pull’s the car into the driveway and everyone gets out. You follow Simon and feel Johnny behind you his hand finding the small of your back.

Its a reassuring touch you need right now, you’re not sure what's going on. The safehouse is cold as lights flicker on. Gaz and Price go over to a dining room table placing down bags and boxes. When they open the boxes you see it’s filled will all sorts of gear and weapons. You feel like you’re intruding as Simon and Price set everything up.

“You still tired?” Johnny asks. You’re not sure. Maybe you are but you don’t think you could sleep now. 

“Why don’t you go curl up on the sofa, see if you can get some rest?” Johnny suggests. You nod heading towards the living room. Not because you’re tired but you get the sense they want to talk about whatever plan they’re working on and that doesn’t involve you. It still feels strange though to feel Johnny’s hand leave your back. You look over at Simon but he still has his back to you talking with Price and Gaz.

You walk in the living room it’s cold so you grab a throw off one of the chairs and flop down on the sofa bringing your legs to your chest for warmth. Everything smells stale, there is a nice layer of dust forming on all the surfaces. The house doesn’t feel lived in. You guess it isn’t, only ever used by desperate people, or people who need help. You try to relax watching the sun come up through the bay windows.

You must have fallen asleep since the next thing you know Johnny is shaking you awake. You look up everyone is standing around you, You sit up letting the throw fall to the floor. Your body stiff from being curled up in such an uncomfortable position. 

“Do you know if there are any hidden rooms in Chloe’s house?” Johnny asks. You look at them confused.

“I don’t think so, they have a basement I’ve never seen. Although I heard it’s small only used to store wine and expensive liquor.” You say rubbing your neck. You look up at Simon his arms are crossed as he stands next to Price. Johnny stands up and you rub the sleep out your eyes.

“Think you can come take a look at these plans tell us if they seem right?” Price asks. You nod getting up and following them into the dining room. There are blueprints for the house spread all over the table. Some look older then others, some more intricate. 

“This is the latest one we have.” Price says pulling one over you look at it trying to mentally map it from what you remember. You think everything looks right. Price shows you more plans, some included the basement some don’t. There are a few rooms missing on some of the plans. By the looks of things a lot of the rooms were shortened down to fit en-suites. 

“What’s the plan anyway?” You ask after you’ve given them everything you know. 

“The police are going to raid them we’re going to help.” Price says. You nod not pushing it any further the less you know the better. So they’re going to raid the house. What are they looking for. Weapons? Drugs? Both? You’re pretty sure the house will be clear, there’s no way that they would store illegal stuff there. It’s their home, Chloe’s mum worked too hard to make that place what it is. No way would she risk losing it.

You look at them as they talk round the table. Johnny smiles at you now and then. Simon seems focused, listening to everything Price is saying and giving his input. They’re cool and organised. I guess that’s why they’re SAS soldiers. You leave them to it heading back into the living room to look through the bookshelf you saw earlier.      

——————————  

You’re in the bathroom washing your hands when there’s a knock at the door.

“I’ll be done in a second.” You call turning the tap off. You go to open the door and see Johnny is stood there. His hands find your waist and he pushes you back into the bathroom. You smile as he plants his lips on yours, pressing your body up against the windowsill. 

“Johnny,” you breathe between kisses. “We’re not alone.” This is definitely not professional, Price seems nice but you’re not sure how he would react if he caught you both. Especially now Johnny’s hand is working it’s way up your top.  

“There’s a lock on the door ain’t there.” Johnny says quickly turning in the tiny space using his free hand to turn the lock. He looks back at you as you feel heat rushing to your cheeks.

“What about Simon?” You ask. Feeling bad for him being left out. 

“Oh yeah he wanted me to pass on a message.” Johnny says with a cheeky grin on his face. 

“Oh yeah?” You ask as his lips lock on to yours again. His hands are both up your top now squeezing your breasts rolling his thumb over your nipples. 

“What’s the message?” You whisper in his hair as his tongue works its way down your neck. Johnny hums sending vibrations down your body and you lean back on the windowsill supporting yourself. Johnny’s hands move to your waist, his hands slipping round your waist as he pulls you against him. You can feel his hard cock pressing against you. In one quick movement he pulls your jeans and underwear down to your knees. You gasp as the cold air hits your bare skin. Johnny looks down as you one of his hands runs up your thigh. You spread your legs for him, as goosebumps form on your skin, you can’t tell if it’s from the cold or Johnny’s touch but you don’t care. 

“Simon doesn’t fuck before a mission says it’s bad luck.” Johnny says his hand reaching your needy pussy as he slips two fingers between your folds. 

“What and you think?” You ask Johnny, bringing one of your hands up to grip the back of his neck. Johnny smiles looking up at you. 

“I think it’s good luck.” He says, his fingers finding your clit rubbing it as you squirm on his hand. He kisses you again to stop you from moaning out loud, you forgot you’re not alone. You hear him unbuckle his belt and you scoot down the windowsill a little to give him a better angle. His fingers are rubbing faster as your fingers grab his hair.

Simon had cut it at some point yesterday so there wasn’t much to grip onto. You bite into your bottom lip as you feel Johnny move, his tip rubs your entrance. This is really happening in the bathroom of a safehouse? You almost want to laugh.

Johnny moves his hand to your waist as he guides you down, a long moan escapes your lips as he eases himself into you. You bury your head in his neck as his hands grip your waist supporting you as he thrusts inside. It feels good at this angle he’s hitting a spot you haven’t felt while laid down. After a few seconds of arranging himself he takes your free hand still gripping the windowsill and moves it to your clit.

You don’t have to be told you know what he wants you to do as you start to touch yourself, moaning into his neck. He smells good you think as you feel yourself bounced up against the window. It’s frosted glass so hopefully no one can see. Is this what Simon wanted to tell you? This doesn’t feel like Simon’s doing this is very much Johnny, spur of the moment, lot’s of kissing and praise.

You smile as you tip your head back against the window. Johnny speeds up and kisses your neck which makes you tingle. It’s not cold anymore as you clench down on him, which causes him to moan his hands pulling you down on him harder. You’re close you have to stop touching yourself or you’re going to cum. 

“Johnny.” You breathe as loud as you dare.

“Don’t stop.” He says smiling as he pulls your hand back down to your swollen clit. There’s a sharp knock at the door. Johnny slows down, to almost a complete stop sucking in a breath of air.

“Johnny are you in there?” It’s Price. You look at Johnny wide eyed and he smiles.

“Yeah,” he calls back. You shake your head. 

“Alone?” Price asks. 

“‘Course sir, want to join me?” Johnny says and move your hand from Johnny’s neck to cover your mouth so you don’t laugh. You hear Price sigh.

“Just come down to the kitchen when you’re finished.” You hear footsteps leaving. Johnny pulls your hand from your mouth and kisses you, slowly building back up to the speed he was at before.

There is an new sensation as he thrusts himself into you harder, almost like he’s in a rush now. It still feels good as he breaks away from the kiss to watch you touch yourself. It doesn’t take you long before you’re close again, you put your head into his neck moaning his name as you come. He grunts into your neck as you clench around him after a few more thrusts he’s coming too. You enjoy the feel of him throbbing inside of you and you pant into his neck.

Eventually he pulls you off and up in his arms setting you down on the toilet seat. He reaches over you planting a kiss on your cheek as he rips off some toilet paper to clean himself up. 

“You said Simon sent you with a message?” You say. Johnny chuckles tucking himself back in his pants. You move off the seat so he can throw the paper in then sit back down. 

“Yeah,” Johnny leans down and plants a kiss on your cheek. “That’s from me.” He moves to your other cheek planting another kiss. 

“That’s from Simon.” He smiles. 

“And the sex?” You ask. 

“Thought we could use a little luck.” Johnny winks at you heading for the door. You sit there on the toilet for a few more minutes after Johnny leaves trying to calm down so you don’t look like a mess when you leave. When you hear talking from the bottom of the stairs you clean yourself up and leave.

It’s almost 5pm when Simon comes to see you. You’re laid on one of the beds upstairs thumbing through a book. You put it down when you see him. He walks in closing the door behind him, and pulls his mask up over his head. It’s nice to see his face again you smile. He comes over to the bed as you swing your legs off. He sits next to you his hand finding your thigh. 

“We’ll be leaving soon.” He says. You nod leaning on his arm. 

“Be safe.” You say putting your hand on his and squeezing it. He reaches round handing you something. It’s the pistol, the one you’d practised with.

“For emergencies only.” He says. 

“Okay.” You say taking it out his hand and unloading it. You put it in the bedside table drawer. You look back at him so you’re face to face. He has black paint round his eyes but it’s him you know it is. You lean in and kiss him. He kisses you back his hand finding your cheek. 

“I love you,” he says. You smile you think that’s the first time you’ve heard him say it to you. At least directly. You kiss him again squeezing his hand still on your thigh. 

“Thank you for earlier, by the way.” You say blushing. He rolls his eyes. 

“I told him to give you a kiss not fuck you.” Simon’s says, there’s a smile on his lips.

“Johnny said it was good luck.” You say nudging him. 

“Yeah well I think it’s bad luck. Besides I like leaving him desperate, keeps him sharp.” Simon says getting up and pulling his mask back down. It looks less scary now you’ve just been making out with the man behind it. You smile as he leaves the room. 

“We should be back before midnight. If anything changes we’ll call you.” He says opening the door. 

“But I can’t use my phone.” You remind him, remembering the speech you got from Price, it had been in aeroplane mode ever since. 

“The house phone will ring. Don’t ever pick it up the first time. We’ll call twice. If you don’t pick up the second time we’ll assume you’re in trouble.” Simon explains. You nod and swallow the lump forming in your throat. There’s no way you’d be getting into trouble here. They’re the ones you’re worried about. 

“Good luck.” You say as he steps out the door. 

“Don’t need luck.” He says and walks to the stairs.        

  ——————————  

You’re sitting in the bed flicking through another random book you picked up off the shelf downstairs. You wish you knew what was happening with them. How the mission was going anything to put your mind at ease. They said they would be back at the latest midnight. It was a little past 10pm. The book wasn’t interesting but you didn’t have much else to do. There was no TV in the house, no electronics you had access too and even your phone stuck in aeroplane mode. It’s the sitting and waiting which is the worst part.

You turn another page trying to do anything to make your brain quiet. You manage to distract yourself for a few more minutes when a crash pulls you back to reality. It sounded like glass, a window? You slam the book closed, your hand moving to the bedside light and turning it off.

You slip out the chair to the bedside drawer taking out the pistol and a magazine. Your hands are shaking as you load the weapon. You hear voices talking someone is coming up the stairs. You need to pick do you hide or fight? You get under the bed. Pressing your self up against the wall as much as you can, clicking the safely off the weapon as the door opens. You see footsteps walk in

“No one here.” The voice calls. You feel sick. It can’t be it sounds like Jack. He’s suppose to be at the house. You reach down for your phone as the door closes. No point in being on aeroplane mode now they’ve already found you. Your fingers are shaking while you type the message. You can hear muffled voices outside the door they’re still searching the place.

Maybe you should have fought. This door has a lock maybe you can get up and lock it before the come back to check the room. The window in this room doesn’t open enough for you to get out that way. You should wait until they move downstairs. You sent the text at least. They know now you just need to stay safe until they can get back. You hear the door to the room open again.

“You sure you checked all the rooms?” It was Mark, Chloe’s brother. Great a whole family reunion. 

“Are you sure they’re all at the raid?” Another American voice you don’t recognise. 

“Yes, mom confirmed it they’re all there except her.” Jack again. Your heart is pounding in your chest, you try to keep your breaths steady so you don’t start hyperventilating. 

“Check the rooms again, leave the doors open when you’re done.” 

“Maybe she’s gone out to the store or something?” Mark says as he leaves your room. Shit. You’ve missed your chance to lock yourself in the room. You move your body as much as you dare so you can see the staircase from the door. You’ve counted 4 different voices 2 of them you know but there could be more. You see Mark walking down the stairs he has a weapon in his hands it’s an assault rifle you think.

You take your phone back out. No reply it’s to be expected. You update the message adding how many people you’ve counted so far, and that they’re heavily armed. Maybe you should just call the police, they can trace the call send someone out arrest them all. As you’re thinking boots come back into the room, you hear someone sigh. You’re holding your breath for what feels like forever. The boots leave. You want to get out this house. You pull yourself out from under the bed when the man makes his way down the stairs.

Maybe they’re done with the first floor. If you can make it to the master bedroom there is a window you can jump out of. You swallow putting your phone in your pocket and bringing your pistol up in your hands clicking the safety off. You move as quiet as you can, on your tiptoes across the landing floor. A door handle being grabbed makes you jump. You duck into one of the rooms as someone walks out the bathroom. There’s got to be at least 5 people here. He heads down the stairs and you continue down the landing.

You make it to the master bedroom, pushing the door open with your foot. It creaks and you hold your breath that no one heard it. You make your way in scanning the room, it’s empty. You make it over to the window opening it as wide as it will go. The bedroom looks out into the front driveway. You can fall from this height and you’ll be okay. It’s a gravel driveway but it’s okay, worst case you land funny and twist your ankle.

You push your body out the window looking one more time where you want to jump. Now it looks scarier and as soon as you’re down you’re going to have to jump the locked gate, the gate that’s way bigger then you, the walls around it even taller. That might be a little more difficult. You take a deep breath in preparing yourself. 

“Hey!” You hear a voice shout behind you. You turn to look, you see someone holding a weapon. It’s now or never. You jump landing in the flowerbed. The fall sends vibrations up your body. Move! You don’t have time to think you just push your body up the foliage from the flowerbed pulling at your clothes. You hear the front door being opened, you sprint to the gate. 

“Stop! Don’t make us shoot you!” It’s jack’s voice. You’re outnumbered, they’ll kill you. There is no way you’ll make it to and over the gate in time. You stop. 

“Drop the pistol no funny business.” You throw it to the side as you hear multiple footsteps crunching on the gravel. You’re about to turn around to face them as you hear their feet stopping but you feel something hard hit you on the back of the head. You feel your body fall then everything goes black. 

Next

[ghostingcrows]

I used to talk about this a lot but 

IDW Prowl is probably one of the most complex characters in the comics and I absolutely hate it when hes reduced down to “the asshole character”

Cause like

Yeah sure hes got a bit of a stick up his ass

But I feel like people just end there analysis of him there

Has he committed a lot of war crimes and done unethical stuff

Yes

But so has literally EVERYONE else in this universe

Starscream is literally the pinnacle of war crimes

The comics make a point calling out even Optimus for his questionable actions and orders during the war with the Dinobots saying he makes them do the dirty work for him

Megatron literally commits genocide and yet his story ends with an alternate version of him going free and exploring the universe with the LL

The literal war lord was treated better and is looked upon more positively than Prowl and I think it just came down to how fucked Prowl got by the writers

Because while Megatrons redemption was all in your face and you got a shit ton of flashbacks that try to justify the eventual atrocities he would commit you don’t get that with Prowl

Even when Prowl is absolutely in the right you constantly have it disregarded by characters making jokes about him overreacting (being mad OP is sending the space tyrant away with free reign of his own ship isn’t overreacting btw-) and as such you start to think of him as a genuinely irrational character when hes not

Prowl is bad at keeping the relationships he forms yes 

But he is not always at fault for that

While his relationship with CD ended poorly Chromedome is also shown to be kinda of a dick sometimes and commits his fair share of fucked up things such as when he literally ATTACKS PROWL AND FORCES HIS WAY INTO HIS MIND TO PROTECT HIMSELF FROM THE CONSEQUENCE OF HIS ACTIONS WHEN PROWL THREATENS TO TELL REWIND ABOUT THE SHITTY STUFF HE DID IN HIS PAST

This leads to Prowls inevitable snowball out of control when this attack leads to an opening for Bombshell (I think its been a while since I read the comics) to use his tech to mind control him forcing him into combining with the contructicons

Something we learn is an immensely intimate thing with their minds being kinda melded 

This was something Prowl did not want 

And when all was said and done and he was calmed down he still had to live with that gesalt he was forced into with them following him around like fanboys

Nobody ever even really stopped to check in on him 

And as such he understandable went a little bit insane

He had just faced an immensely traumatic invasion of his body and mind and on top of stress form feeling like everything was out of his control and like he couldn’t stop the bad things from happening alongside bitter emotions being brought back up with a return visit to Earth and reunion with spike AND the fact that he feels like Optimus doesn’t trust him and like hes just letting Starscream do whatever he want (something that understandably freaks him out seeing as how he spent 4 million years fighting Starscream) he just kinda snaps

He trys to destroy the space bridge so that no one else can leave or get through and so he can regain some semblance of control

Is it wrong

Yes

But he was not in a good state of mind and no one was helping him at all 

And immediately following his arrest afterward Prowl is confronted by OP who is supposed to be his friend and when Prowl doesn’t say the right things to him to placate him Optimus’ response is to punch him out a window and beat the shit out of him

And not being given any room to breath this is immediately follow up my him getting kidnapped by Tarantulas who is very obviously an impactful and negative part of his past

Prowl just has bad event, one after the other, happen to him over and over again and not only does no one check up on him afterwards to see if hes okay but everyone actively makes fun of him for being understandable unstable

Prowl is a fucking tragedy and not many people seem to be able to see beyond what characters in the comics think of him

[esamastation]

Shizuroth, part twenty-one

Previous parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty

-

For the first time in what feels like a lifetime, Sephiroth sends out a text message.

After an evening and night spent meditating, reading and cultivating, figuring out the ins and outs of his hardened meridian system and going through the files Genesis had had delivered to him, Sephiroth's come to the conclusion that meditation isn't enough. He needs to condition his body properly, and that means forms, that means movements - that means he really misses easy access to all the collected cultivation manuals of Qing Jing Peak's impressive libraries.

Ultimately what it really means is that he needs more space than his single room apartment has.

"If we're banned from the training room, where can I go train?"

"Goddess beyond, Sephiroth, it's supposed to be your day off," Genesis replies and then, soon after, "Just go to the training room. Who could stop you?"

He's really not sure about training in front of people. "Is that really the only option?"

"Well, you could do what you always do and just take a mission."

Mission, like the dozen or so on his phone involving Wutai? Which had a lot of kill everyone and exterminate the opposition and leave no one alive!?

Yeah, okay. Training room it is, then!

After carefully selecting an outfit that would look reasonably in character for the future Big Bad while also being a bit more comfortable than three different things of leather. And he still pulls on the, now slightly better fitting, leather coat with its huge shoulder guards, too! He should look… more or less in character.

People still stare as he makes his way through floor 49, other SOLDIERs in their much more comfortable looking uniforms and not so comfortable looking helmets. There's a handful of them hanging around, sitting by the window or chatting, SOLDIER Seconds and Thirds waiting for assignments. There are some people in lab coats hanging around there too, just as a reminder of the true nature of the program.

Sephiroth had read about that too - everything Genesis had sent him about SOLDIER and the things he is supposed to already know. 

SOLDIER, as much as they are the elite warriors of Shinra, their OP human weapons in the war to conquer the planet… are also lab rats. They'd all signed up on it in order to get those enhancements, and now Shinra's Science Department can do… just about whatever they want with them!

They're constantly being tested for performance and given experimental training, treatments and gear to test out. Almost all Materia and medicine Shinra produces goes through SOLDIER field testing before going into mass production. Because it's better that it's a SOLDIER dealing with the fallout if the Materia blows up in his face or the medicine makes him projectile vomit. They can handle it!

Ah, corporate dystopia with minimal human rights. Fun stuff.

Sephiroth walks past them all, barely acknowledging them, and aims for the training room. Which… really seems more like a testing ground, now that there's actual personnel there.

There's no one in the training room itself - but there are two technicians in the observatory adjacent.

"S-Sephiroth!" a lab technician stutters as he enters  - the only way into the training room goes through the observatory, past all the monitoring equipment and computers. "What can we do for you?"

"I want to train," Sephiroth says in his best villain drawl, motioning to the training room with Masamune.

"Ah, that's - director Deusericus told us -"

Sephiroth narrows his eyes. "Oh, so I can't?"

The second lab tech elbows the first out of the way. "Of course you can, of course! Professor Hojo would be thrilled to have your training data," he assures, though the words are clearly aimed, very pointedly, at the other tech. "What kind of program settings would you like? We have a selection of new enemy AI and different environments - including numerous Wutai-inspired sequences!"

Sephiroth hesitates. That… could be interesting, actually. "Something from Wutai, with buildings - no enemies." That might give him a sense of what Wutai was like, culture-wise.

"... How are you going to train without enemies?"

Do SOLDIER not do forms? "Hmph," Sephiroth answers and turns to the training room, waving the electronic sliding door open. "Just start the simulation."

Seems like he got his villainous demanding attitude right, because they do. Seems like short and to the point is really the best way to hide a supposed amnesia!

Soon Sephiroth finds himself standing in a courtyard of what looks vaguely like some noble family's estate, feeling strangely like he's in a dream where everything is just a little bit off.

The simulation is… well, it kind of feels like a weird amusement park version of Asia, a mix of Japanese and Chinese aesthetics. The buildings have Japanese architecture for the most part, with bare unpainted wood and stone - but the roofs are all elaborate hip roofs. The written language, what little he can see of it, is in Mandarin, but the calligraphy style is very Japanese, very lyrical and artistic but without much form.

There's no bamboo in sight. Shame.

But at least the false environment makes it feel a little less like he's being watched - though he can still tell he is. Even with Sephiroth's burnt spiritual veins, he has pretty good senses.

Well, it's not like he hasn't trained with an audience before.

Unsheathing Masamune, Sephiroth holds the sheath in his off hand and takes a pose, breathing deeply in and concentrating. He still can't quite circulate his Qi, but he can sort it… flash it through himself in pulses, which lights up his meridian system and brings out the faults and snags therein.

Sephiroth is strong, hardy, seemingly endlessly durable. He's also fast, his overactive muscles easily going past the limitations of your usual normal human conditions. The issue is not quite his overall flexibility - but his… suppleness, maybe?

You need your veins to flex and contract for healthy circulation, and that's the same with energy. Thanks to the Mako treatments and the emphasis on stamina and strength, Sephiroth's whole system is just… hard. Every part of him is hardened to endure who knows what, and it gives his meridian system very little give. 

So that's what his form needs to focus on, increasing his meridian system's pliancy.  

All the while wondering if all SOLDIERs were working with these kinds of toughened meridians, Sephiroth pulses his energy and begins to move. Qing Jing Peak sword forms work well enough for him, it turns out - as spiritual cultivators, they also have to maintain certain spiritual flexibility, after all. He needs to adjust the forms to the sword he has, but that's not too difficult. A lot of spiritual swordsmen use sword glares to extend the shape and size of their cutting edge, so the forms already have some wiggle room.

Soon Sephiroth has a set of moves that work the best, making his pulses of energy work better and better, until his whole meridian system buzzes, active and alive. He can even feel the beginnings of activity in his frankly neglected dantians, as energy wooshes through him in waves. It feels… pretty great.

What he doesn't know is that on the outside it looks rather like Sephiroth just activated a Limit Break - by will alone.

-

Someone making waves, hehe

[delta-piscium]

@steddie-week day 1: Hunger | 1.1k words cw: light angst in that Steve is a little sad/dealing with some mental stuff but like hurt/comfort (not EDs which mental stuff combined with the prompt word might make it seem like, hunger is used as a metaphor)

Sometimes Steve doesn’t talk to anyone for days. He just shuts himself in his room and hides, barely leaves his bed. Pretends he doesn’t exist, or that time has stopped and he’s the only thing that exists.

Sometimes, he’ll go back too soon, feel bad for the ignored calls and drag himself out of bed to see the people who matter most to him. But it won’t feel warm and soft those times. He’ll be too raw and It’ll feel like they’re grabbing his insides and eating them. Pulling his heart and brain out of his body and devouring them without letting him eat theirs in return. 

Usually, he’s okay with that. He knows his place, he knows that’s what he’s for. For other people to get fed. And he’s happy to feed, to do that for them. 

He loves them, of course he’s gonna give himself over. It’s just that sometimes they take too much. They don’t know they do he thinks, they don’t know they’re eating him alive. That he’s presenting himself on a silver platter and letting them take take take, and that sometimes they take too much.

That’s why he disappears, so he can grow back. So he can give more. Because if he stops giving he's afraid they’ll get tired. He won’t be useful, he can’t give when he’s like that. He starts craving, he starts wanting. He feels starved and wants to take and feed too, and that’s not part of the deal. He’s not supposed to eat, he’s supposed to be eaten. So when he turns hungry and ravenous he hides, he isolates. 

Robin is the only one who truly gets this about him, who doesn’t take and demand. She gently accepts the things he gives and never without giving too, forcing him to stay whole. It’s overwhelming and sometimes he has to hide from that too, he doesn’t know how to deal with the force of it. He’s so used to the constant hunger it’s a shock when it’s gone but he’s gotten better. And anyway, he and Robin are part of one whole so whatever is given or taken between them is never really gone. It stays with both of them.

Robin is the only one, or she was the only one he should say. Because now there’s Eddie. Eddie who gives and gives and gives, almost as much as he does. But who doesn’t seem to dwindle and dim like Steve does. Who doesn’t seem to starve or hunger. Eddie who notices when Steve does, when he stumbles and gets greedy. Who holds him up and makes him whole with a look, a touch, a word. 

Eddie who breaks in through his window when he shuts himself in his big empty house and lays with him in his bed, softly telling Steve stories and running his fingers through his hair. 

It’s wonderful.

It's the worst. 

“I’m afraid you’re gonna end up as empty as me,” Steve tells him, whispers it into the dark. “That you’re here now and you’re giving and I’m taking and you’re gonna be the one left with nothing.” 

Eddie doesn’t respond immediately but hums in acknowledgment, lets him know he heard and is thinking. 

“This is good for me too,” he says eventually, “being with you and resting. Getting to be here for you when you never used to let anyone but Robin be. It’s good for me too.” 

“It can be good and still drain you.” Says Steve, knows it to be true. He doesn’t resent giving the way he does, he loves it, it’s good. It drains him. 

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, “this doesn’t drain me, you’re comforting me too. It’s balanced.” 

Balanced. That’s what Robin tells him too. That’s what Nancy sometimes asked him for when they dated and he couldn’t let her see the cracks. That’s what he wonders about with his other friends. 

He doesn’t usually know how to do that. He doesn’t know where the lines are. He doesn’t understand how Eddie knows. 

“You let me give, and I let you give, so it’s balanced. We don’t take from each other, we gift and we receive. It’s balanced. You have to let other people give sometimes too, Steve.” 

It hits something deep in him, the last words. He knows this, he doesn’t want to know it. 

“I’m afraid they won’t. if I open myself up to it. If I ask, I’m afraid they won’t.” He says it so quietly it’s almost inaudible but Eddie hears. 

His hands still in Steve’s hair for a moment before moving again, gently scratching his scalp. 

“I know baby. But that’s not fair, they want to give too. If they knew how much they took without giving back they’d be heartbroken. It’s not fair to you or them.” 

Steve lets Eddies words wash over him, he knows he’s right. They’d be nauseous with it. His sweet wonderful friends and family would be crushed.

“Sometimes it will happen, maybe,” Eddie continues when Steve doesn’t respond beyond a sharp breath in. “Sometimes people won’t know how to give after only getting but you gotta let them try. Sometimes they’ll learn and adjust, sometimes they won’t and you’ll have to deal with that. But you can’t starve yourself like this because you won’t let them try.” 

"What if I take too much?"

"Then they talk to you, like you should talk to them."

“When did you get so wise,” Steve snorts, his voice is tight but he makes the effort, tries to lighten the mood. Deflects, like he always does. 

Eddie lets him, a little, knows Steve has to. But he’s still serious when he answers.

“Wayne is like a never-ending well of insight and digging around in everything, never lets me get away with shit.” 

The opposite of Steve’s parents who were the first to take from him and never give, never look into his eyes and tell him to eat. 

“He’s a good guy,” Steve tells Eddie instead of weighing him down more than he already has. Instead of acknowledging and relieving the hunger pang that strikes him at the thought. Even now, here, he doesn’t know how. 

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees. “I’m here to relay his wisdom, like playing telephone with whatever stuff he teaches me. The things your parents took away from you.”

Eddie still knows, of course, he does. He always knows.

“And what do you get?” Steve has to ask.

“I get you. I get everything.”

Steve smiles, turns around to kiss Eddie. He doesn’t feel empty when Eddie kisses him back, hungry. When he takes and devours. 

[heliads]

Andrew!Peter x male reader, Peter and reader being childhood friends and when Peter gets bit by the spider he grows distant with reader and reader starts to see him hanging around gwen more and gets jealous and mad, maybe a fight in the hallway of the school and reader just walking away, maybe fluff or angst whatever your really feeling tbh

ooh i love a chance for angst

masterlist

Peter Parker tells you about the spider bite, and that is the last thing of note that he says to you. The silence that follows that one grave pronouncement is deep, lasting, unfathomably painful; it refuses to let you be, even for a second, but the worst thing about it by far was that it came from him, from Peter. Your Peter. Peter, formerly yours, but yours no longer.

Before that, though, there was the friendship, and in between, the one final conversation. You didn’t expect the spider story to be the last thing you shared with Peter, and no doubt he felt the same way, but life has a habit of tearing people apart. It’s always easier to drift than keep in touch, to leave than make the effort of continually seeking each other out. One moment, you had him all to yourself, and then there was nothing at all.

He had come in with the rain that night, crouched and shivering on the threshold of your window after he crawled up your fire escape for the billionth time in your life. You’ve been friends with Peter Parker since the two of you were kids, and had long since reached the point where it was stranger for Peter not to be at your window than it ever was to see him creeping inside your room late at night.

He memorized the pattern of creaking floorboards in your room a long time ago, where to step and which piles of stuff to avoid so as to not alert your parents to his presence. All this you’ve done many times before, both to hear out his troubles and to share your own, but you have never seen him this afraid before. It doesn’t suit him, the panic, the dread. It makes you uneasy, which in turn makes him worse.

You were still awake at that point, only just beginning to ponder the possibility of sleep, so he didn’t have to disturb you. Peter always said he felt bad whenever he woke you up by accident, but not enough to stop coming. Never enough to stop coming, until now.

He sat in the corner of your room for a while, legs pulled up to his chest, sweating and shaking but not saying much. You’d try to ask him what the matter was, but you got the idea that Peter would speak when he was ready, and he certainly wasn’t ready then.

The story came out in bits and pieces. Peter had managed to con his way into an internship at Oscorp in an attempt to find out more about his father. Instead, he’d run into Gwen Stacy, and subsequently Dr. Curt Connors and his experiments. During a secret reconnaissance venture into the Oscorp labs, he’d managed to find one truly terrible experiment:  spiders, dozens of them, all collected for one mysterious purpose. 

It sounds gross to you, but Peter had apparently been fascinated by the setup. So much so, in fact, that he didn’t notice when one of them bit him. He shows you the bite mark on the back of his neck, which is about as unsettling as one would expect, then tells you more. He’s stronger than he used to be, and by such a massive margin that it’s genuinely alarming. He sticks to things better than glue. He can jump high and withstand force and do a lot of incredible things that no human being should ever be able to do.

All of this he tells you in one great rush, like if he was interrupted once in the process of saying it Peter would never be able to get everything out again. Once he’s done with his story, he leans back and sits there, panting, waiting for your judgment.

You don’t know what reaction he wanted, but you must not have given it to him. It’s the only thing that explains why Peter picked himself up off the floor not much longer after that, leaving your room just as quickly as he entered it. That would be why his presence slackened and dropped off, why you saw him less and less and then not at all. Somehow, you must have disappointed him, and done it enough that he would want no more of you.

It’s not like Peter totally dropped out of society. You were the only one he avoided. You watched from the sidelines as Peter picked fights with Flash, how he started approaching Gwen Stacy with increasing frequency.

He’d told you about Gwen before you know, his little crush. You get it, she’s pretty and smart and very capable, but you were always protected by the fact that she was totally out of his league. Now that Peter is suddenly in top physical shape and doused by a fabulous dose of confidence, though? You’ve seen them on dates, talking by each other’s locker, everything Peter used to dream about.

That leaves you where you are now, cut off from the friend you used to value above all else, unable to do anything but watch him steadily improve in every way without you. After all, this is it. This is Peter’s comeuppance moment, his chance to finally get the life he’s always dreamed of, the girl, the popularity from defeating Flash. This is everything he’s ever wanted, and for once, it does not include you.

So; we have started at the end, we have worked our way back, and now it is time to peer, frightened, at the future. You had Peter and subsequently lost him, the only thing left to do is to learn how to live without him by your side. It is something you thought you wouldn’t have to experience in your entire life. It is the only thing you can count on now.

It makes you angry, even furious. He was your best friend, and he drops you in a flash the second a spider bites him? You could expose him, you think, totally destroy him by just mentioning the fact that he’d been exploring the laboratories at Oscorp when he shouldn’t have. The thought of betraying him like that makes your stomach turn with shame, but also deepens your rage. Peter knows that you could turn him in, and it still wasn’t a good enough reason to stay with you. What a friend indeed.

It comes to a head soon enough. You and Peter are walking down a hallway, starting from opposite sides. You should have just passed by without a single word, but he stumbles and brushes shoulders with you. It was probably an accident, but to you, it was the icing on the cake for Peter’s terrible behavior.

You might not have handled it as you should. You might have muttered a few choice swears under your breath just loud enough that he would hear you, and Peter did. He stopped walking abruptly, face twisting in indignation.

“Well, excuse me,” he says, syllables dripping with irritation.

You stop too, turning around to face him. The anger swooping through your veins makes your entire body hum with satisfaction; this is the fight you’ve wanted for a very long time, a chance to rehash all your grievances now that he’s forced to acknowledge you again.

“Oh, my bad,” you say, “I didn’t think you were aware of what I was saying or doing anymore. My mistake.”

Surprise flashes across Peter’s face, and is replaced with annoyance just as quickly. “Jeez, Y/N, it’s not a big deal. We barely knocked into each other, it’s not like you died or something.”

You scoff. “That’s probably for your own good. I doubt you’d even show up to the funeral.”

Hurt replaces anger in Peter’s eyes. “What are you talking about?”

God, he’s so full of it. Doesn’t know what you’re talking about. He probably doesn’t even think he’s done anything wrong. “I’m talking about the fact that you’ve been avoiding me for weeks now. What, figured you’d dump me the second you could upgrade? Tell Gwen she can keep you, I don’t want to be associated with someone like you anymore.”

Peter starts asking you what you mean by ‘someone like him,’ but you’ve already turned back around and have continued on your path down the hall, footsteps loud and indignant. Peter is soon swallowed up by the crowd of students still trying to get to class, and you’re able to storm away like you’ve won that little argument.

Have you, though? You were hoping for a fight ever since he started dropping you. You were certain that a chance to yell at him and tell him he was wrong would be just what you’ve been wanting all along, but instead of victorious, all you feel is sick and weak. Every verbal blow hurt you just as much as it hurt Peter.

It doesn’t feel good, to be honest. You feel restless the rest of the day, shifting in your seat and unable to concentrate. You hurry home the second the bell rings, and the next day, and the next. You are unhappy, missing every day that you’d had Peter’s friendship, that you hadn’t even thought that you could lose it.

Maybe that’s why you stop being as careful as you usually are. Maybe that’s why you end up walking through the city late at night when you always know better, why you don’t notice the men following you until it’s too late, until two of them are holding up guns to your head and telling you to give them everything.

You freeze, which is stupid, of course, but it doesn’t even occur to you that something like this could possibly happen. They shout at you to get moving, which breaks you from your trance and you start rifling through your pockets for your phone and wallet.

The increase in volume also attracts attention, as it turns out. Before you can hand over a single dollar, someone swoops in from above, knocking out the robbers in a matter of seconds. He turns to you, and when the moon shines on his mask from above you realize you recognize the suit after all. This is Spider-Man, New York’s favorite vigilante.

You’re not so distracted by meeting a superhero in the flesh that you don’t miss his sharp intake of breath. He should have no idea who you are, but– he stops in his tracks anyway, stumbles over his words, asks you frankly what you’re doing out here in a way utterly uncommon to the usually smooth Spider-guy.

Instead of making you pleased that someone’s finally looking out for you, though, you just feel a rush of annoyance. Everyone seems fit to decide what you should and shouldn’t do, don’t they?

You fold your arms over your chest. “Yeah, I know I shouldn’t have been out here. My bad for almost getting robbed.”

Spider-Man raises his hands in mock surrender. “Hey, hey. I’m not trying to victim-blame. Just trying to watch out for you, alright?” A pause, then, “Are you alright, though? Outside of the robbery?”

You should shake your head, plaster on a smile, tell him otherwise. It’s what he expects, what he wants so he can swing away, job well done, and go save someone else.

You crack. God, it feels like it’s been so long since someone actually cared, that even though this guy has no idea who you are and he doesn’t care, not really, even the illusion of it is enough for you to answer him honestly.

“No,” you force out, “I’m miserable. My best friend abandoned me without a care. Nothing makes sense.”

You swear you can sense Spider-Man’s eyes widening behind his suit. “What? No, he wouldn’t have abandoned you. You’re a good person, he wouldn’t do that, Y/N, I wouldn’t– he wouldn’t–”

Your blood runs cold the second you catch his mistake, and you cut off his rambles mid sentence. “How do you know who I am? I never told you my name.”

Spider-Man stumbles backwards slightly, even though you never pushed him. “I– you told me. You did.”

“No,” you insist, “I didn’t. You knew it. You know who I am.”

You narrow your eyes, trying to think about why something about Spider-Man’s voice sounds familiar, and then– “Shit, Peter?”

If Peter had been fidgeting before, moving around slightly to alternate his weight from foot to foot, he goes absolutely stock still now. That’s how you know you’re right. You press a hand to your mouth as if you can force the words back into your throat. “What the hell are you doing, Peter?”

Silence. Then:  “I was saving you.”

You laugh, low in your throat. “What, so you can ignore me in school tomorrow? Great job, I feel very saved indeed.”

You try to push past him, but Peter blocks your path, pulling off his mask in one jerky movement so you’re forced to stare at him. Him, his blown pupils, his mouth forming your name in helpless loops of syllables until it doesn’t sound your name at all but meaningless noise.

“I didn’t want to,” he says quietly, “I didn’t want to leave you, but the things I do– you would have gotten hurt, Y/N, and it would have been my fault, and–”

You’re not willing to let go of your anger quite yet. “You should have told me, then. I would have watched out for both of us.”

“I tried to tell you,” Peter says desperately, “I came to your room the night after I was bit, remember? I told you everything.”

It isn’t enough. Probably never will be. “You could have trusted me enough to keep me around,” you breathe, “You didn’t have to use the bite as an excuse to leave me.”

“It wasn’t an excuse,” he pleads, but you’re not listening anymore.

It may not have been at the start, but it’s how he used it anyway. To leave you. To get Gwen. To get everything he wanted at the cost of your friendship. “I deserve more than this,” you say.

“I know,” he says, “I know.”

He doesn’t. If he did, he never would have left. Peter might still be whispering those same nothings and empty promises even now, hours later. You wouldn’t know; you left him standing there, the wind tearing at his hair. He didn’t try to stop you, and you didn’t try to stay. Maybe he’s lying awake now just like you are, running your brain on endless courses of what could have been and what might still be.

Instead, you’ll be the one avoiding eye contact in the halls, and he’ll be the one driving himself insane to figure out why. You know the truth at last, and the whole affair is finally out of your hands. It does not make you happy to remember all the times you’d been closer than brothers, how you have nothing left anymore, how Gwen has replaced you in every sense than a person can be replaced. It’s okay, though. The unhappy ones stay alive. You’ll be alright. You have to be.

marvel tag list: @mayfieldss, @rogueanschel, @mycosmicparadise, @ellobruv, @callsign-scully, @with-inked-solace, @sher-lokid7, @amortensie-moved, @23victoria, @watchreadfangirlrepeat, @gods-fools-heroes, @w1shes43, @deafsuperhero, @fadedver, @alex-1967s-blog, @crazyhearttragedy

[angelsanarchy]

Alkaline: Euronymous x Y/N Series CH 14

Tagging: @ophelialaufey@madamemaximoff06@forever-not-gonna-sink@ajmiila02@liquidsmoothdomme@shady-the-simp @auggiethecreator @tempt-ress @blacksoul-27

Oystein refused to let himself be upset about losing whatever he had with Y/n. He would rather turn what he was feeling into anger and use it in their music. Someone new started delivering their groceries and he tried to go to the shop less and less but when he absolutely had to, he would call his order in and pick it up. There were occasions that she was in the shop when he was picking up but he never tried to talk to her, make eye contact with her or even let on that she was the reason he stopped coming in the shop when Hammeed asked why he no longer dined in.

They had shit to do and focusing on putting an album together was the most important thing. He even tried to make up things in his own head in order to try and sway his feelings for her. Her shitting on his band, his playing, his music. Her fucking around with that tall punk she had at the bar with her the last time they spoke. Her fucking anyone made his blood boil. He had only gotten to taste her and he felt robbed having never gotten to fuck her. He knew that was a shit way of thinking but anger worked better for him.

"Fucccck." Necrobutcher whined from the kitchen.

"We're going to have to get our own groceries now. Apparently the replacement has decided we're out of range." He held up a slip of paper that was taped to their last order that had been dropped. The person doing the drop off had been terrified of them and had run from the house many times, once while Pelle walked naked out of the woods so they should have seen this coming. Oystein snatched the piece of paper and went upstairs to his room to call the number on the receipt.

He had argued with the grocer owner for almost 30 minutes before he finally relented and said that if Y/n agreed to run their orders, then they would make an exception but certain stipulations would have to be met. Oystein wasn't given the stipulations until she pulled up a week later and whistled making them all look up at her from the front yard.

"Let me borrow you for a second." She said walking to the back of the car. Oystein made a move to get up but she put her hand up.

"Not you...you." Necrobutcher looked surprised but jogged over towards the back of the car. She handed him a piece of paper and looked to be explaining things to him. He glanced over at Oystein who stood with his arms crossed annoyed to have been told not to approach her. He watched Necrobutcher sign something and nod what looked to be a soft apology to her and she squeezed his arm before handing him the first bag of groceries. She got back into the car and kept her window rolled up as he waved them over to help carry things.

"What the hell was that?" Oystein asked as he watched him tuck a piece of paper into his back pocket.

"The stipulations of our deliveries. Just grab some stuff and don't say anything to her if you want to keep getting food delivered." Necrobutcher said hauling a heavy case of beer towards the house. Oystein leaned into the trunk and caught Y/n's eyes in the rear view mirror as he grabbed bags and shook his head at her like he was disappointed. He would find out later that the terms of delivery were that the only person she wanted to have contact with was Necrobutcher and that any attempts to touch or talk to her would terminate the contract and they would no longer be able to order groceries.

Thing's continued like this for about six months. She would pull up and meet with Butcher and Oystein would have to be contained. He stopped coming to the car after the first month because he felt like an idiot unable to even thank her for bringing them things. He made sure that Butcher was tipping her properly despite Hellhammer saying she didn't need one. She only had one run in with Pelle emerging naked and she shook her head seeing fresh wounds on his forearms as he walked like a zombie into the house. That was the only time she held Oystein's eye contact and truly looked sad.

The day after that silent exchange, she showed up unexpectedly with a single bag of groceries as they were loading up the van.

"Um...hey! We didn't order anything-" Butcher walked around the van towards her and she handed him a bag.

"I know...this is from me...I figured you guys might be able to utilize it." Y/n bit her lip now in the presence of the entire band. She had never appeared nervous around them until this moment. Oystein couldn't read her behavior but she gave a weak smile before turning on her heel to go back to her car.

"T-thanks! We're going to a show if you-" Oystein slapped Necrobutcher's chest with the back of his hand, stopping him from inviting her and she nodded towards Butcher.

"Thanks but I'm working. Good luck with the show." She didn't stick around to see them open the bag but when they did, Oystein felt something ache in his chest.

"First Aid Kit, peroxide...oh a suture kit! That'll come in handy for when Dead wants to fight us about getting stitches." Necrobutcher weeded through the contents of the bag and Hellhammer laughed.

"Damn she must have a hard on for Dead now." He teased earning a scoff from Oystein.

"Or maybe she's trying to help us keep him from offing himself. It would be nice to finish this album with him and not have to get him committed." Necrobutcher defended Y/n's actions.

"We're not having him committed." Oystein mumbled.

"We can't just keep having him bleed out on stage man. This shit is going to catch up to him eventually." Oystein shot a glare at Necrobutcher as Pelle walked slowly out to the van from the woods, now fully dressed.

"Can I use that bag?" Pelle asked curiously before holding up a flattened fox that flies were trying to make a meal of.

"Fuck no!" Necrobutcher slammed the door shut leaving the supplies in the van, knowing they would need to use them sooner rather than later and the last thing that needed to sit on top of it was a dead animal.

Oystein wanted to thank her but he knew it wouldn't mean anything. He knew that she looked at him and saw someone who didn't give a fuck about life or death. He wasn't concerned with Pelle killing himself. He wasn't bothered by the pain and suffering someone he's supposed to care about. He knew it was for the best for her to hate him. He really just wished he could get over the feeling in his chest whenever he saw her.

[gladiatorcunt]

you know the first verse in 'get him back' by olivia rodrigo? (he was so much fun and he had such weird friends / and he would take us out to parties and the night would never end / another song, another club, another bar, another dance and when he'd say something wrong he'd just fly me to france!) that's soooo modern!coryo to me

speaking of a break up song, would you ever write a break up fantasy with modern coryo? I love break up fantasies hehe

NO WAIT THAT’S SO HIM! like i love olivia and that is the vision i have for him at the end of the day. I’m adding it to the playlist.

That’s a tough question because given how hard he is to get away from in canon if he wanted you, it’s just difficult for me to imagine a scenario in which you break up and he doesn’t immediately pull a murder-suicide /J. I think the idea of a break up is so vague too, but in my head a breakup would only happen because the reader wanted it; due to either feeling like the worlds they come from are too different or still having a “fuck boy” image of Coryo & not really trusting him to be different. It would have to be over text when he has a family obligation (helping his grandmother, going to public appearances with his father, shaking the hands of whatever voter demographic they’re trying to target and breaking a bottle of champagne on a yacht idk).

It’d be a gamble, family stuff always winds him up but you can’t see a better time for you to do it. So you shakily type out a flimsy text and block him on everything including spotify, a nasty surprise for him to find when he has access to his phone again. You’d have to request to change the locks on your dorm room door but you’re all out of luck after that bc you have nowhere else to go. He’ll wait you out like a snake slowly slithering through the grass until its prey makes even a single tiny mistake. The head of blonde curls in the distance outside of your window won’t go away, and suddenly you’re in a not so cheesy psycho thriller.

So ultimately, i think that i wouldn’t be opposed to it but i don’t have a clear picture in my head.

I love them too though, the drama of it all is very appealing but realistically Coryo would only give you the one shot at playing pretend and then that’d be it.

[doubledyke]

How do you believe Eds' childhood was like? Like since the moment toddler Edd meet Ed and Eddy until the events showed on the show? I guess the first half of their childhood were more peaceful and softer, where they were mostly playing games, they were less hated in previous years, and Edd and Eddy's relationship was better (they were certainly less hormonal and confrontational in that time).

i'm not sure how long ed and eddy were friends before edd arrived, but they probably became friends after eddy tried to bully ed and was taken aback by ed's response. i'm picturing their first interaction being something along the lines of "nice pamper there, stretch!" and ed takes it as a genuine compliment and offers to let eddy try it on but only if he can wear eddy's "dress". eddy's embarrassed and is about to run home to mommy but then ed eats a rock or a shoe or something and eddy gets an idea for his first(?) money making venture, bottomless ed.

as far as what they'd get up to before edd comes along i imagine it being pretty similar to stuff we see the two do in the show. roughhousing, gross pranks, eating junk food, watching movies, and eddy making ed do weird stuff for his own entertainment.

at home idk, i mean given the fact that not only is ed still wearing a diaper at such a late stage, but that he's allowed to leave the house without pants kinda tells me all i need to know and confirms that his parents just don't care. i generally think that baths are a sensory nightmare for ed (and that he's probably unknowingly allergic to whatever soap his family uses) and that his parents just gave up trying after a while. it could be the same with clothing for him at that age? regardless, its still a dereliction of duty on their part not to address those things.

eddy's still under bro's thumb whether literally or proverbially. i could be wrong but it seems like bro would either be just about to leave or would have recently left by the time the eds meet. i tend to think he'd still be there but the theoretical timeline is a bit confusing to me. anyway, eddy's home life is the most outwardly normal of the three and i'm not sure i have much to say about them at that time that wouldn't send me into a 3 page nonsensical ramble about eddy and my weirdly specific ideas about his family. suffice to say, he's repressing a lot and has zero insight about what happened to him (he's like 5). he's probably still physically healing from the last game of 'uncle'.

edd's family comes along and no one even knows the new couple on the block has a kid till someone notices a strange little child peeking out the upstairs window from time to time. anyway, i guess it's canon that edd meets the other two when he ends up being a mark for the bottomless ed thing. when i think of tiny edd i imagine the opening for matilda (1996) where matilda basically caring for herself and is already going out on her own, like to the library. that's what edd is up to before he meets ed and eddy. going back and forth to the library and occasionally venturing outside to catch butterflies and look at rocks and stuff. he just happens to cross paths with tweedledee and tweedledum one day and being that he's freshly traumatized (dodgeball incident) and naturally shy and anxious, he's easily swayed by someone like eddy who's always had a strong personality. edd's also likely intrigued and even charmed by his and ed's irreverence and their unabashed childishness. both of which are foreign concepts to him, even at that age. i picture him just sort of tagging along with them for a while in the beginning, hiding behind a tree or something when things get a little too rambunctious. but with the help of eddy's constant ribbing and ed's frequent comparisons of him to some kind of alien species he saw in a movie, edd slowly learns to let loose a little. hanging out with edd and eddy gives him a weird sense of rebellion since the pair are certainly not the upstanding fellows his parents would prefer he spend time around. alright alright i'm cutting myself off here.

as far as any activities the tiny eds do together, like i said they're pretty much doing the same stuff but spending more time playing rather than looking for ways to make money. sadly i think eddy didn't get much of a chance to play with other kids when bro was around since he'd either be too busy placating bro and/or other kids were too scared to come around. so he might take the opportunity to do more kid stuff once bro is gone and now that he has a couple of pals. ed's just happy to be out of the house where his parents are constantly bickering and his baby sister is constantly crying and already wreaking havoc.

edd and eddy's relationship (and ed and edd's for that matter) takes a while to develop because eddy is low-key weirded out by edd, but can tell he's smart so wants to keep him around. like i mentioned, edd is very reserved around the eds early on and doesn't really know how long he's even going to be allowed to spend time with them. luckily for him, his parents are never home and are none the wiser to some of the trio's more hazardous escapades. if anything he'd just deceptively plead amnesia in the event that he was confronted.

i will say i think the eds would still already be ostracized by that point. eddy for his relation to bro, ed and edd for their association with eddy. i do like the idea of eddy and kevin being friends at some point early on, but i haven't given much thought to what that would look like. so for the purpose of this goofy post, we'll assume that was not the case.

[lady-green-sleeves]

One of the things I find most funny about hotd is how much they tried to make it (specifically Rhaenyra) super feminist and stuff but then completely took away her political ambitions and made her passive especially to the men in her life. I often see it said that Alicent is the passive one but imo she’s the least, even less than Rhaeynes, we often see her stand up for herself and her children, go against her husband (as much as she can he’s literally the fucking king) and even her father who’s been controlling her since forever. (Ex the whole “you can do what you like husband when I’m cold and dead” or whatever exactly it was and her standing up for Rhaenyra against the brothel claims which ended up costing her a lot)

If anything Alicent is just more level headed and has a better understanding of the feudal patriarchal society they live in and sees it much more realistically. Rhaenyra and Rhaeynes are both people who’ve given Alicent whole speeches on how much she plays into the patriarchy and how she just lives to serve the men around her when that’s what the other two have always done.

Rhaenyra is completely reliant on her father to pull her out of any mess she gets into and has no plan to actually change the order of succession to go solely by order of birth and not have gender play a role as shown by her saying Beala’s (or Rheana but pretty sure it wasBeala’s) SON would be king not like child or first born but specifically her son.

And now for Rhaeynes, she gives Alicent the stupid little window in your prison speech after pumping her 12 year old out to the king bc her husband wants his daughter on the throne and being convinced Daenyra murdered your son at said daughter’s funeral but then still being fine with your husband picking male heirs that aren’t related to you at all over your daughters own children (ik Laenor loves those boys and no matter biology was their dad but that’s not the point rn we’re talking Westeros and feudalism)

Now I could go on a whole rant about Targ women and the oppression they face in an incest blood pure obsessed family and how that could absolutely play into the way they view themselves vs Alicent but ik for a fact what I have to say isn’t at all what the show writes we’re going for when they did this.

They simply did this to make these women morally white characters instead of keeping them grey bc god forbid we have complex female characters they either need to be boring saints or psychotic harpies that will eat your soul and cut off your testicals. If they hadn’t made it seem like these two women where just giant hypocrites who didn’t understand many social and political aspects of their own world I would have liked them a lot more

[decks-writing-blog]

Whatever the Fuck Benrey is: Chapter Nine: Can't Hurt

Chapter One

Previous Chapter

~

Benrey read whatever he could find online, searching specifically for weird and interesting stuff, until Gordon fell asleep on the other end, his soft snoring coming through the phone. He then read a little more just in case. Gordon had sounded awfully shaken after all. A not unfamiliar quality to his voice, he’d been that shaken or worse during much of their trip through Black Mesa together, but… Benrey now knew how fragile he was. And he’d decided Gordon was his pet so it was his responsibility to make it better.

Eventually he had to call it good enough though as he didn’t know when the hotel manager was likely to return and he needed to be gone before then. So he closed the web browser and shut the computer down, making sure to turn the monitor off as well.

“’Kay, uh, gotta get off the computer now before I get caught. I’ll call you later or text… I don’t know, whatever I feel like. Doesn’t really matter ‘cause you can’t hear me anyway. Bye.” He hung up and started back for his room.

~

He waited until the sun was fully up before pulling his phone off charge again. Gordon hadn’t texted. Not surprising, he’d have heard the ping but he was starting to get restless. Playing games was great and all but… no multiplayer games or anyone to chat with while playing was less fun. Something else to do again for a little while would be welcome.

‘awake yet?’ he sent to Gordon.

He stared at he screen for five minutes before giving up; apparently the answer was ‘no’. Maybe a good thing… unless Gordon was having another nightmare. Perhaps Benrey should’ve gone back with him. He’d thought about it but during the first trip nothing dangerous had happened and then on the car ride back, all the nosy, annoying, bothersome questions had convinced him not to. But if Gordon’s mind was an enemy… it couldn’t kill him though, could it? So it was probably fine.

Pocketing the phone, Benrey turned his attention to the window. Lifting the closed curtains, he stepped under them so he could look out and see if anyone was around. … No one seemed to be so he grabbed his new camera before walking through the wall, putting him out back behind the hotel.

It was warmer out here already, the pleasant desert heat starting to set in. He’d never given his enjoyment of warmth and heat much thought, they just felt nice, but perhaps Gordon was correct and he was cold-blooded; didn’t produce much heat of his own. Did that matter? … No, but it was kind of interesting.

Shaking off that thought, he started making his way around to the front of the building so he could follow the sidewalk. It would perhaps lead to somewhere interesting, right? Upon reaching it, he slowed his pace a little. He had nowhere to be, nothing to do, and no one coming to bring him back to the Black Mesa facility.

He fiddled with the camera, turning it on. Gordon had called it cheap when getting it for him but it was far from a shitty disposable one. It had digital display, making it feel fancy to Benrey. As he walked along he snapped a photo of anything that caught his eye. Roadkill, the way the sunlight glistened off the jagged edges of a broken window, what at first look like more roadkill but upon zooming in was actually just an old boot that had been run over a few times, and other such things. A lot of it wasn’t really that interesting but he’d never been in Tuefort unsupervised for more an hour or two before.

People passed him, going both ways. The sidewalks were bare enough that his slow pace didn’t bother anyone enough to bump him or tell him to go faster. No one paid any attention to him whatsoever. If he tried to talk to any of them, they’d brush him off, say they were too busy. He’d need a cop uniform if he wanted anyone to heed him. … Gordon had stressed he not cause problems though and borrowing a cop uniform to join their ranks, even for a little while, would undoubtedly cause some. Especially since cops were a lot like the military, right? They liked to shoot things. Getting shot if he got caught trying to sneak in would likely call attention because of the whole healing, not human thing – which Gordon would probably classify as a problem – and he was expressly forbidden from shooting back if he could even get a gun.

What if he did it anyway though? Or if he was breaking the rules, what if he did something properly fun? Like steal a car. He’d never driven in real life before but he could probably figure it out. A car chase with the police had to be even more fun if it was real, right? Not that something being fun in a video game necessarily made it fun in real life but it sure seemed like the kind of thing that would be.

There was car parked on the side of the road ahead. An old rusted blue pickup truck that if video games were anything to go by would probably be pretty slow and clunky to handle. So not exactly the fastest chase but for a first time might be good. He slowed to a stop as he reached it. It was empty, its owner nowhere in immediate evidence

Normally, he’d have just phased through the door and tried to figure out how to steal it from there. It seemed as if it might be fun so why not go for it? But if he did, Gordon would be mad. Not that making him mad was a big issue or anything but… it would mean no PS3 for sure. And Gordon might start hating him again. Not a huge deal but he was just starting to like Benrey and ruining that would be lame.

Also, Gordon might do more than just start hating him again. He might change his mind about keeping him secret from the rest of the scientists. Some or all of whom might decide to try to get Benrey back into Black Mesa’s custody, Gordon may even assist them in such an endeavor. With a car, Benrey could theoretically escape and evade any such attempt much easier than on foot. He could drive out of Tuefort and go anywhere in the world; lose them so thoroughly they had no hope of ever catching up. But that would mean no more Gordon or Tommy or the rest of the Science Team unless they came with him. Tommy was the only one who might and that was a big ‘might’. Probably he’d be alone, possibly for a long time. No one to play games with if he ever did get a console and TV of his own somehow.

And so, he lifted the camera and snapped a photo of the truck before turning away and resuming walking down the sidewalk. Following the rules wasn’t all bad anyway. He was always telling Gordon to follow them, mostly just for fun now that he wasn’t a security guard anymore. So Gordon doing the same to him was justified.

As if blessed by resisting the urge to stop behaving, his phone pinged in his pocket. Putting his camera away, he pulled it out instead. Gordon had responded. ‘I am now. Good morning.’

Not wanting to attempt texting and walking – he’d seen people on TV doing so walk into poles a few too many times to risk such an embarrassment himself – he continued walking until he found a bench he could sit on while he typed out his reply. ‘not gonna ask if im still behaving’

‘No. I trust you. Don’t betray that trust or no PS3 for you.’

Benrey had made the right choice for sure; Gordon trusted him now. Neat! ‘sleep well no more nightmares?’

‘None that I remember.’ Not a ‘no’ though or any kind of confirmation that the rest of his night had been good. ‘Thanks for last night. I appreciate it. Do you think we could have a phone call before I go to sleep tonight?’

‘sure’

‘Thanks. Talk to you then. I need to go eat breakfast.’

Well, now Benrey had something interesting to do later. Not until tonight though. … Bubby was supposed to come back to Tuefort today, right? Benrey closed his text chat with Gordon and scrolled until he found Bubby’s number.

‘hang out when u get back to 2fort play games maybe?’

It was only a few seconds before the answer came. ‘No’

Seems getting back on Gordon’s good side didn’t mean he was back on everyone’s. Not surprising but still…‘:(’ He put his phone away and resumed walking.

Not even five minutes went by before his phone buzzed again. It was Bubby. ‘Fine. We can hang out. I got nothing better to do anyway.’

‘sweet text me when u get here’

***

With the half the survivors off on their rescue mission deeper into the facility and a few more dropped off at the hospital, there were only a few of them left to begin the salvaging of resources, research documents, experiments, computers – even the damaged ones, as long as the hard drive was intact or other parts that could be sold or reused elsewhere – and anything worth taking in general. A small enough number that even Breen was all but forced to bodily help as well. Gordon’s single hand gave him the perfect excuse to drift between assisting Dr. Coomer and Tommy instead of going off on his own like everyone else was doing.

Most of the work involved breaking into the living spaces not marked as belonging to any of the known survivors. They were looking for bits of experiments brought home, research papers, or anything else related to the work done by the scientists of Black Mesa. A lot of scientific advancement had taken place here, some of it with the potential to be pretty big, anything that could be salvaged would likely be worth the effort. At Gordon’s suggestion, they were also collecting personal artifacts to send to families who’d lost loved ones. Which added a whole new layer of work; putting things into boxes marked with the appropriate person’s name.

Naturally, going into unexplored rooms revealed more bodies. Well into the process of liquefying, some were genuinely hard to tell if they were human or alien. After last night’s nightmare, that was even more unsettling than it otherwise would’ve been. Gordon used his missing hand as an excuse to not be the one to drag them to new body pile in the center area to be burned once they were all done here. That left him to search those rooms alone and sadly, the smell didn’t leave with the body. Somehow, he managed to not vomit until the third such room.

By the time his body gave on heaving his guts up, allowing him to straighten, darkness danced at the edges of his vision. He swayed as he left the corner and stumbled out of the room. The smell seemed to follow him, closing the door helped only a little. With a groan he leaned his back against the wall next to and slid down the wall to sit on the floor. Surely a break was warranted.

He pulled out his phone and pushed it open. ‘Hey.’ he texted Benrey because he hadn’t closed their chat.

‘yo’ came the answer a short time later.

‘What you up to?’

‘hanging with bubby u?’

Perhaps Gordon should be worried about that given what happened the last time Benrey and Bubby got buddy-buddy. But he’d moved past that with Bubby a while ago now and seemingly Benrey now too somehow. ‘Taking a break.’ He wanted to talk more but what could he say to continue the conversation? And Benrey had just confessed to being busy hanging out with Bubby so all he added before hitting ‘send’ was, ‘Don’t have much time though. Talk to you later.’

‘k’

Gordon was sort of starting to not be bothered by how bad his texting was. Enough so that reading back over their prior conversations was somewhat comforting. Not as much as more conversation would’ve been but enough to keep him sane until Dr. Coomer announced his return with a classic, “Hello Gordon!”

Putting his phone away, Gordon looked up at him. “Hello Dr. Coomer.”

“Did you find anything in the room while I was disposing of the corpse?” His voice was chipper as always… or not always, but most of the time. Was he really chipper or was it something else making him speak like that? Some kind of speech impediment that effected his tone? He definitely had some kind of speech something going on so… maybe. Regardless he certainly didn’t seem bothered.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Not lose your mind.”

“Well, it helps that my mind is in my brain which is inside my steal-plated skull.” He tapped the side of his head. “That makes it quite hard to lose. Have you lost yours? I could help you find it. What does it look like?”

Seemingly Gordon had indeed lost his mind because it had been his idea to come back here to help any survivors they could and he’d volunteered to help with this too. Why had he done that? He could’ve just let it be, not come back to help anyone because he was already out. Surely he couldn’t have been blamed for such; he owed no one any more than he’d already given. But here he was… and he was about to get up and continue, wasn’t he? The research was important but more than that was taking care of the bodies. Burning them in a big heap wasn’t the best funeral but it was far better than letting them continue to rot alone. And their loved ones deserved closure in the form of whatever could be gotten to them alongside the news. Breen hadn’t been planning to do the latter until Gordon had pressed him to, making Gordon’s presence valuable.

And so with a heavy sigh, he stood. “Nah, I’m sure my mind will turn up on its own eventually. For now, let’s go back in here and finish searching it for stuff.” Before Dr. Coomer could answer, he turned and headed back in.

~

Despite their plans and best efforts, they were unable to finish going through the whole living area in a single day. Gordon could perhaps still leave on the morrow, let the rest of them to finish the job. Tempting but he should at least finish making sure people who’d lost loved ones would be getting what they could of said loved one’s possessions. It was the only thing left he could do.

And so after exchanging greetings during the promise pre-bed phone call with Benrey… “Also, I’m probably gonna be staying another day.”

“Why?”

“Gotta finish with this area then most of us are heading back to town. Except for Breen,” at Gordon’s suggestion because he was the head of Black Mesa and thus should stick around until everyone else was out, “and a few others waiting for the rescue team.” After that would come the long arduous process of sending teams down to save what all they could to bring back from the other areas of the facility since it’d be a long time before it was operational again and some of it would be needed at wherever their temporary setup ended up being. Not to mention, hiring the people to even start fixing it couldn’t start until as much of the top secret stuff was removed as possible.

“Lame.”

Lifting his coffee half way to his lips, Gordon paused to look down on the phone, currently on speaker and resting on the couch’s armrest. It was a bit precarious with how close to the edge it had to be to allow the charging cable to reach it but as long as he was careful not to bump it, it should be fine. “Why’s that lame?” He hadn’t expected Benrey to care much.

“It’s boring and your rules are dumb, making it more boring.”

“You got plenty of video games though.”

“Yeah, no online games though and no one to play with. Bubby’s worse at Melee than you and you only got one hand. He doesn’t even like it, said it wasn’t ‘very fun’ don’t know what I see in it.”

“Well… sorry. I’m sure you’ll survive though.”

“Barely.”

“Just uh… continue to behave, please.”

“I will, I will… only ‘cause you promised to buy me a PS3 though so you better keep your promise.”

“Well, when I do head back, Breen’s lending me the company card to rent a space to store all the stuff we’ve already recovered and to rent a building to start setting the lab up in if I can find a good one. And uh… we’re kinda owed something nice, right?”

“Ooh, naughty. Gonna steal some money, huh? I could report you for that. But uh… I ain’t a security guard anymore so… I guess I can look the other way. Just once, only ‘cause I want it real bad.”

“It ain’t stealing. He’s lending me the card and I’m like basically second in command of the company now anyway. I’m calling multiple shots on this salvage operation so… I probably won’t do it but it’s a fun thought, huh?”

“Boo! Lame. Gordon Goody-two-shoes-man over here being a big loser. I finally let you steal something and you chicken out.”

Gordon chuckled hard enough to almost spill his coffee. He had to lean forward and put it back on the coffee table in front of him. “Don’t worry, man, I’ll still get you a PS3, soon as I can, I promise. Gotta worry about getting a more permanent place to stay first though which is gonna be expensive because … duh. But soon as I get back, I’ll play more Melee with you or whatever you wanna play, ‘kay?” That actually sounded like a good time.

“Yeah, ‘kay.”

“Now, uh, in the meantime…” He paused to retrieve his coffee cup, giving him a bit more time to figure out how to word this. He hadn’t given it as much thought as he should’ve before calling. Benrey had given him a good opening angle though. “You said that uh… you like playing games with people. Obviously we can’t over the phone but maybe uh… you play something and talk to me while you do, read the text and stuff, maybe talk to me about it a bit? It wouldn’t exactly be hanging out, watching you play something, but it’d still be less lonely, right?” And more importantly would keep him on the phone with Gordon for potentially a long time, hopefully even all night, if he was willing.

“Don’t you gotta go to sleep soon?”

“Nah, skipping a night of sleep won’t hurt.” Or at least not as much as the nightmares he’d likely have should he attempt to sleep. He’d spent the day rooting through dead people’s stuff and occasionally coming across the dead people themselves, after last night’s nightmare, that was bound to make getting good sleep impossible. So really, not trying to sleep was likely to be more restful in the end.

“Really? You sure? ‘Cause uh… don’t humans sleep every night?”

“Usually, yeah but only because not doing so makes us kinda tired. One night isn’t a big deal though so since you’re like… bored and lonely, hanging out over the phone should help, right?”

“Oh, okay.” Benrey, as expected, didn’t need much convincing. And staying up apparently wouldn’t do him any harm either, making it a win-win. Having a non-human friend was fantastic. “I haven’t started Wind Waker yet so I’ll do that one.”

“Sounds good.” Gordon finally took a sip of his coffee. Brewed as strong as he could bear it, he winced a little at the taste but he’d likely get used to it long before the night was through because it was going to be a long one. Benrey should help make it bearable though.

~

Doing the same stuff as the day prior but this time after a night of no sleep was both harder in some ways and easier in others. Harder in all the ways staying up all night made everything harder; trouble focusing, mild headache, general overall ucky lethargic feeling. Easier in that, emotions and thoughts dulled by exhaustion were harder to stir into despair even upon discovering another forgotten body behind a locked door.

Even when it got up to start shambling towards him he didn’t feel as bothered as he should. Instead he raised his gun hand and riddled it and the headcrab controlling it full of holes. His gun hand wasn’t as loud as normal guns but that didn’t mean it wasn’t loud.

“Wow, that uh… woke me up a bit, I think,” he said over the ringing in his ears as he watched the headcrab zombie fall.

“Fine shooting, Gordon!” Dr. Coomer said, patting him on the shoulder before stepping forward to bend down and grab the corpse’s wrist. “I will drag this to the corpse pile now while you continue our search.”

“’Kay, see you in a bit.” The adrenaline had been the exact thing he needed. He was doing just fine.

They finally finished a few hours after lunch, just a bit too late in the day to justify going back to Tuefort today. Instead Gordon sat down with the rest of the group again. While they all set to chatting, he folded his arms into a pillow for his head on the table in front of him. Surely a quick nap while everyone’s conversation floated over him would be fine. If the nap lasted long enough maybe he wouldn’t even need to go to bed proper tonight… wouldn’t that be nice?

~

Gordon woke with a jolt, his heart racing, his breath fast. Despite that, the dream was already starting to fade from his mind, leaving nothing clear in his memory other than that his dreams had conjured the mass of rotting flesh again. He could almost still smell it even now… no not almost, could.

The headcrab zombie he’d killed had been close enough that some of its gore had splashed on him when he’d shot it. Tired, he hadn’t changed his clothes, especially since a shower wasn’t available; this part of the facility had run out of reserve water yesterday. There wasn’t enough to be overpowering but it did make his stomach churn with nausea.

Shaking his head, he reached over to the nightstand, fumbling along it until he found his glasses. The clock read 11:35pm. Dr. Coomer must’ve brought him to bed, either immediately or once bed time rolled around. His nap had lasted a while. … It didn’t leave him well rested by any means, especially since he’d still had nightmare but it had helped a little anyway.

With a groan he dragged himself out of bed and over to the light switch so he could see well enough to change clothes into something that didn’t have the smell of death clinging to it. Once done, as was becoming habit – whether good or bad was hard to tell – he checked his phone. Benrey had texted several times since their last exchange.

‘yo want to do another call before bed?’ ‘u good?’ ‘tomy said u fell asleep at table wierd place to fall asleep but ok’ Each was about an hour apart, according to their time stamps.

Having been off charge all day, the battery was running low so Gordon wondered back out the living room area to retrieve the charger, bringing it back to his room to plug in while he sat down on the bed to reply. ‘Yeah, exhausting work so took a nap, lasted longer than I thought.’ Should he apologize for worrying Benrey. That’s the vibe he’d got from the texts but… it was hard to tell for sure with just words on a screen. Much more likely, Benrey was bored and thus looking to converse to pass the time. Probably best not to assume anything. ‘You keeping yourself entertained?’

Perhaps lending credence to the idea that Benrey had been worried by Gordon’s lack of response, his reply came swift. ‘sort of im bored call?’ He was saying he was bored though so probably just that. There was no reason he should care enough to be worried.

As Benrey had done to him, instead of responding, Gordon pushed the keyboard back in place, allowing him to call. The charging cable meant that he had to keep it on speaker as it couldn’t reach to his face comfortably but he’d likely have to set it so eventually away like he’d done before.

“How often do you need to sleep anyway?” he asked as soon as Benrey picked up. How many nights in a row could he depend on Benrey to keep him company while everyone else was asleep?

“Uh… like once a week or every other week if I’m really not in the mood. Humans gotta sleep more than that, right?”

“Yeah, we gotta sleep uh… most nights, missing a night here or there is fine though, not an issue at all.” And he didn’t need to mention the whole eight to nine hours thing. Not that Benrey would care but if he told Tommy or Dr. Coomer that Gordon was intentionally not sleeping as much as was recommended, they might try to bother him about it. And then he’d have to explain he wouldn’t be able to sleep well anyway so might as well try to avoid the nightmares via not sleeping until the was too exhausted for them. … Or maybe they wouldn’t care either. Gordon was the only normal human in the group, the weakest among them by far. Why would any of them care about how fragile he was?

“But uh…” he continued before the pause could carry on for too long, “that means, the other night, when you were here and joined me in bed you, um, didn’t need to, right? You just… wanted to?”

“Yeah, bro, you’re warm, it’s nice. Won’t happen again.”

“Nah, it’s fine, you can… I mean, uh… it was nice. So you know, if um… again wouldn’t be bad if you wanted to and… stuff. Only if you want to though… or um… uh…” He shouldn’t have brought it up but if Benrey were physically here right now it would’ve been really fucking nice. So it was probably a good thing he wasn’t because Gordon’s desperate loneliness was pathetic and he really needed to get over it. Especially if it was making the thought of cuddling Benrey of all people sound appealing. Not that it had been bad, just he shouldn’t want to do it again. But could he really be blamed whilst in Black Mesa, the source of his nightmares? Once out, surely it would be better.

“Uh… maybe. Let’s talk ‘bout something else, huh?”

“Yeah, good idea.” Anything would do as long as he wasn’t alone in this horrid little room. He’d go back to Tuefort tomorrow, in the same car as Tommy or Dr. Coomer, didn’t matter which, and then things would go back to being good.

Next Chapter

[emmyrosee]

hiya emmy! im sky and i rlly liked ur writing! i saw ur post and wanted to request smth :) uh.. so i kinda feel like i cant show my true self to anyone, like the people around me, even my family only see parts of my real personality. for example, my parents see my goofy and studious side, but dont see my side where i rlly like anime, and my friend group see my studious bright side but dont see the side where im a fangirl by heart. so, i wanted to request a bakusquad and reader, mostly kaminari x reader (hes my comfort character) where the reader has different personalities around ppl, like being quiet and shy around others and adults, being nice and caring around most ppl, and kaminari notices this? and he tries to make the reader comfortable and as the reader grows closer to the bakusqaud aka. kaminari’s friends, the reader becomes more open with them, showing them their real self. tysm for writing rlly good stuff that make my day!! have a good day and stay healthy!! :D -sky

Hey hey hey sky!! Glad to have you here!! You should definitely feel free to be your true self bc you sound awesome!! Don’t feel like you need to keep what makes you happy hidden, because who cares if they don’t like it? Enjoyment is free baby, and as long as you’re not hurting yourself or others, go off and do your thing!! 🥹❤️

On to the piece!

-

You were…. Different, to say the least.

Not in a “mysterious” kind of way, or at least not that Kaminari could see; you just seemed to chameleon with whoever you came into contact with.

And that’s fine, he’s seen Shinsou do it nearly every day they hang out together. He knows better than to press or question it, but he does think it’s an interesting way to go about it.

With Shinsou, it’s very consistent- he’s stoic and snappy when he’s with others, snorty and great at video games with his friends.

That doesn’t seem to be quite the case for you.

Instead, since you’re new to the group, you seem to code with everyone; with Kaminari himself, you’re bubbly, giggling at everything he says and loud in the best ways, extremely affectionate and always nudging him for attention. Kirishima has you at your most reassuring, validating each other and never letting one be defeated. Sero has you going on adventures to the gas station at ungodly hours of the night. Mina gets to see the more reactive side of you, be it from online window shopping or whatever you’re watching, and Bakugou seems to have the part of you that loves silence and anime and his island in animal crossing, and the few times Kaminari has interrupted said hangout, you’ve been so far from the bubbliness he’s used to seeing from you and in a new wash of calm.

Teachers have you at your most studious, always so quick to offer help and an answer to questions, never short to volunteer yourself.

It’s definitely not bad, far from it! He admires it about you… but he does wonder who you really are, what part of you is the most present when you let it be known.

He wants to think it’s the bubbly, loving one you’ve given him the privilege of dating, but lately he’s not so sure. You’ve been mixing up the codes, and while he doesn’t mind at all, you seem to.

You’ve distanced yourself from it, from the group and from him; and after months of Kaminari working up every last nerve and pickup line to have you on his arm, he’s not about to let that slip.

And by the graces of whatever gods’ watch from above, it’s not just him that notices either; almost everyone in the squad asks him where you run off to (save for Bakugou, though Kaminari sees the way his head turns quickly when your whereabouts are questioned.)

It’s comforting to know they want you present just as bad as he does.

It’s also comforting that Sero knows your dorm code- look, Denki tried to remember, but he forgets, okay, he’s not a bad guy for that, Mina- and has no shame in blazing into your room like a man on a mission.

Good thing you weren’t sleeping. Or naked, Kaminari thinks in relief.

“Friend meeting,” Sero announces, barging into your room with no other warning. It makes you jump up in bed with a scream, but once you realize it’s just the squad, you scoff and hide under the covers.

“I’m not in the mood.”

“It’ll be quick.”

With a whimper, you burrow deeper under the sheets, and Kaminari gently rests on the bed, hand gently easing over your back to calm you. “We just wanted to check in on you... I... like, we haven’t seen you in a while.”

When you poke your eyes out from the sheets, they quickly scan over the hurt expressions of the group, and the absolutely heart broken one of Kaminari, his golden pools curling up in worry.

“You’re making a big deal out of nothing,” you grumble, sitting up and scooting towards the corner of your bed. You do reach for Kaminari’s hand to hold, fiddling with his fingers softly. “Is it impossible to imagine I could want some space?”

“You’ve ditched me like, three times,” Bakugou snaps. “The last time we hung out, you got all nervous and dipped. Nice try, though.”

You shift softly in the sheets, “you clearly didn’t want me there-”

“Don’t assume shit I don’t say, dumbass!”

“As much as it pains me to side with bombshell hair,” Sero sighs, promptly shushing Bakugou’s offended snarling, “you’ve been distant with me too. At first I just thought you didn’t want to chill with me anymore, but then everyone kind felt like something was up.”

“Even when we were hanging out,” Mina says softly, crossing her arms almost protectively. “You made a joke I didn’t hear, then you apologized and snuck out of the room.” She shakes her head gently, “and I don’t ever want you to feel unwelcome in my room but you don’t have to feel pressured to hang out with us, we just-”

“You just don’t get it!” You snap, making everyone flinch back in surprise. “You’re just being dramatic! I haven’t been ignoring anyone, or distant, or-”

“We didn’t mean to make you upset,” Kaminari says softly, cutting off your ranting. He looks sad, like you’ve kicked him, and it puts you in even more of a crisis. “I was... we were just worried about you. It came from a good place, but ‘m sorry we made you upset.”

You give him a shaky sigh, “you didn’t, I just...” you gnaw at your lip while concerned eyes glaze your face. “There’s nothing wrong with me acting one way or another when I spend time with you all.”

A chorus of ‘totally!’’s and ‘of course!’’s fill the air, and your waterline swells with stabbing tears because their eyes still bore into yours for answers because they clearly still don’t get it-

“I just don’t feel the need to be 100% myself all the time when you clearly already like the company I give.”

“But why do you feel the need to hide any percent of yourself?”

“Because!”

“Because why?”

“Because what if you don’t like the real me all the time!”

This, now, has the whole room quiet, Kaminari’s heart aching for putting you on the spot. You look like you want to cry in embarrassment, but your hands stay clenched and bottom lip wobbling.

“Oh, sweetie,” Mina whispers, standing up and quickly making her way next to you. Her head rests on your shoulder lovingly, and you sniffle and lean your own head against hers.

“Of course we’ll like the real you,” Kirishima assures.

“I mean, we adore the you that you show each of us,” Sero adds, smiling encouragingly. “The only thing better is knowing that you’re giving us all of you.”

“You know I’m gonna adore you,” Kaminari promises, creeping next to you and gently knocking his head against yours. You offer him a choked laugh before threading your fingers through his hair, letting him nuzzle against you fondly. “The only one who might not is Bakugou.”

“You leave me out of this,” he grumbles. “I deal with the rest of you idiots, one more ain’t gonna kill me.”

A Bakugou Katsuki way of saying “I’ll still want to hangout with you; no matter what.”

You give them all a shaky sigh before curling closer to Denki, tucking your face in his neck. He quickly wraps his arms around you, as if protecting you from your own worst judgements.

“You’re just saying that,” you whimper. His nose nuzzles into the crown of your head, gently rocking you both back and forth.

“We’re not,” Kirishima promises, kneeling down in a hopes to get into your eye line. “There’s a side of you we’re all used to, sure… but there’s so many other parts to you we’d kill to see.”

“And who cares if we don’t?” Bakugou scoffs; it causes everyone in the group to glare at him briefly, and he rolls his eyes, “don’t give me that look! Do you know how freeing that shit will be? That you don’t have to worry about what others “want” to see from you? You ain’t gonna lose us, so you may as well just be the person you want to be, whenever you want to be.”

Slowly, you sit up, letting his words sink in and settle inside your sinking heart. It does make a small spark of hope become alight, and with a small smile, you nod at him. 

“Surprisingly, that was probably the most reassuring thing I’ve heard,” you chuckle.

Denki plants a kiss to your pounding head, the action soothing the ache briefly. “Who coulda guessed Kacchan would be the most comforting of us?” He teases, and you watch with a string of laughter as Bakugou’s shoulders hike defensively.

“Watch your mouth,” he snaps. “Don’t make me regret the whole ‘kindness’ shit.”

“Might think you’re growing soft on me, Bakugou,” you tease.

“Not soft for any one of you assholes! This is why I’m never nice to you dickheads!”

“You liiiiike me.”

“I DO NOT!”

It was obvious to everyone, however, that with all the thoughts laid out and Katsuki being the one to read right through you, there has to be even a little bit of affection in that head of his.

Affection for all sides of you- from all of them.

[detachedfacade]

it took eddie a long time to make a move. stevie had all but given up. she hadn't necessarily expected him to, but there were moments, lingered touches, flirtation, that felt meaningful. but eddie never really took it the extra step.

stevie didn't realise the over confidence eddie had while flirting was a front. it was only when, while getting high, sitting by her parents pool, that eddie revealed he had been a virgin until he was 20. only a couple of sad handjobs given and received was his sexual experience prior to meeting stevie. "that near death experience really sets a fire beneath you though" eddie had said, had figured if he wanted to not die a virgin he ought to make a move. so he'd gone to the gay bar he frequented a week after the accident and finally went through with it. "and honestly," he said, "I haven't since. not that I didn't like it, I meant I'm sure it will be better with someone I actually like it's just...I still kind of feel like a virgin. like I don't know what I'm doing and I'm scared people will see through that."

stevie couldn't relate, she had more experience than most people she knew, with both men and women. so she knew what she was doing. though, it was definitely the drugs influence that led her to reach out her hand to eddie and say. "i could help you practice."

it seemed after the first step was taken, everything else fell into place. suddenly the weight between them lifted and they could admit, aloud, that they had had crushes on one another. and for how long. "since I met you, honestly. " eddie said.

"did it change? when I..."

"oh my god stevie, yes. since you transitioned it fucking tripled if not more I...I didn't really realise I could like you more but jesus christ you proved me wrong."

stevie was blushing. "that was ...the right thing to say." she said. "I am a bit...or I was a bit scared that since you were gay it wouldn't ever go anywhere..."

eddie shifted in bed. "yeah. I mean I had crushes on girls too, sometimes. I mean debbie harry? c'mon, i'm only human. like robin said, sexuality is fluid."

"robin told you about that conversation?"

"she did, but only after we started...whatever this is." eddie motioned between himself and stevie.

"whatever this is?" stevie replied. "what do you want it to be?"

It was eddie's turn to blush now. "I think I'd like for you to be my girlfriend, stevie."

It became quickly obvious to eddie that whenever her parents were home, stevie would do her best to stay out longer. she would suggest diners and nightclubs and long drives until eddie would say "baby, let's just go back to mine."

of course it wasn't always convenient, wayne being there most nights. but as stevie said, she was 'like a ninja' and could totally sneak in unheard. eddie couldn't stop laughing at the sight of her scrambling up the side of the trailer, his figurines clattering across the floor as she pushed her way into the window. their shared laughter at the moment was made even worse when Wayne knocked and told them to use the door next time.

and so she did. but she insisted, said if wayne was going to know she was there, shouldn't they meet properly? so eddie set a date, and he cooked wayne's favourite dinner, and he let stevie in when she knocked on the front door this time, snuck a kiss before wayne would notice. and wayne said "nice to properly meet you stevie." before taking his seat at the head of the table.

from then she was always round, wayne was always happy to see her, and though he admitted he was still learning 'all this stuff' he never misgendered her.

even when stevies father finally came round, he would still repeatedly dead name her, but wayne, wayne never did. not once. srevie even overheard him, smoking outside with her father, defending her. telling her father, "you ought to get your head screwed on and protect your daughter with everything you have because god knows it isn't going to be easy. and you say you love her, you say you only want her to be happy but don't you see? she is happy." and her father never admitted defeat, but stevie found herself on the receiving end of some stilted affection from then on, and she felt that maybe it wouldn't be all bad going home. eventually.

but by that point, she and eddie had already planned to move in together. It was bound to happen sooner or later. three people couldn't fit into that tiny trailer.

so they got a place on the outskirts of the city, far enough away to start fresh but close enough to visit their loved ones without much hassle. and for a long time Stevie hadn't imagined a part in her life that she would leave hawkins and have any intention of returning, but then robin happened, and eddie happened, and wayne happened and her father looked her in the eye and said "I always wanted a daughter. you make sure you call, okay stevie?" and having something to return for felt so fucking nice.

but the new life in the city was even fucking nicer. no one around to dead name her or ask invasive questions. only herself and eddie finding their feet in a city that didn't know them, and would accept them for who they were. and if it didn't, they would always have love to return to in their shared apartment, in their shared bed, in their shared life. because even if the world was uncertain and scary, everyone could see, stevie and eddie were soul mates.

check out the full collection of stevie drabbles on ao3

[wearelondonhq]

TWILIGHT SAGA SENTENCE STARTERS.   feel free to change pronouns   /   change the sentence(s) to your liking.  

Happy Meme Day!!! If you want to take part all you have to do is reblog this post. Remember if you reblog to send them out to EVERYONE who also does. Meme lasts from today until the next Sunday (the 26th of May).

❛  i’ve got it,  i’ve got it!  i’m all right!  ❜

❛  you fell down two flights of stairs.  you went through a window.  ❜

❛  i’ll do whatever it takes to make you safe again.  ❜

❛  you’re in here because of me.  ❜

❛  ( name ),  calm down,  everything’s alright.  ❜

❛  you just can’t say stuff like that to me.  ever.  ❜

❛  rip him apart and burn the pieces.  ❜

❛  where else am i gonna go?  ❜

❛  where should i meet you?  ❜

❛  i put a new can of pepper spray in your bag.  ❜

❛  i’d never given much thought to how i’d die.  ❜

❛  c’mon,  we gotta talk boys!  are you being safe?  ❜

❛  dying in the place of someone i love seems like a good way to go.  ❜

❛  i have to go home now.  you have to take me home.  ❜

❛  you were a stubborn child,  weren’t you?  ❜

❛  when everything’s done,  i’m going to come back and get you.  ❜

❛  leave me alone!  it’s over!  get out!  ❜

❛  that’s gonna be a home run,  right?  ❜

❛  i’m gonna make it go away.  i’ll make it go away.  ❜

❛  what am i gonna say to him?  ❜

❛  death is peaceful.  easy.  life is harder.  ❜

❛  i just want to try one thing.  stay really still.  ❜

❛  i can’t hurt him.  ❜

❛  ( name ),  you are my life now.  ❜

❛  this isn’t real.  this kind of stuff doesn’t exist.  ❜

❛  we can do more stuff together.  ❜

❛  you’re not gonna drive home right now.  ❜

❛  ( name ), c’mon. i just—  i just got you back.  ❜

❛  why don’t you lemme drive?  ❜

❛  if i don’t leave now then i’m just gonna be stuck here like _.  ❜

❛  what if he kills one of us first?  ❜

❛  babe,  c’mon,  it’s just a game.  ❜

❛  is it enough just to have a long and happy life with me?  ❜

❛  i’ll keep her safe,  ( name ).  ❜ ❛  you’re ready right now?  ❜

❛  i/we won’t be bothering you anymore.  ❜

❛  i dream about being with you forever.  ❜

❛  if anything happens,  i swear to god.  ❜ ❛ 

❝ I decided as long as I'm going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly. ❞

❝ I said it would be better if we weren’t friends, not that I didn’t want to be.❞

❝ What if I'm the bad guy/girl/person? ❞    

❝ Do I dazzle you? ❞

❝ The right thing isn't always real obvious. ❞

❝ You’re still waiting for the running and the screaming, aren’t you? ❞

❝ I am not really breaking any rules. ❞

❝ You think I regret saving your life? ❞

❝ I always say too much when I'm talking to you. That's one of the problems. ❞

❝ I know love and lust don't always keep the same company. ❞

❝ Do you like scary stories? ❞

❝ No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end. ❞

❝ I miss you. ❞

❝ Distract me, please.  ❞

❝ You really should stay away from me. ❞

❝ It's too easy to be myself with you. ❞

❝ It's not the end. It's the beginning. ❞

❝ Your hair looks like a haystack, but I like it. ❞

❝ I'd rather know what you're thinking - even if what you're thinking is insane. ❞

❝ Can't you just thank me and get over it? ❞

❝ You've got a bit of a temper, don't you? ❞

❝ I don’t like to lie – so there’d better be a good reason why I’m doing it. ❞

❝ Without the dark, we'd never see the stars. ❞

❝ I hate you for making me want you so much. ❞

❝ Immortality must grant endless patience. ❞

❝ I'd rather die than stay away from you. ❞

❝ I love you. It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing, but it's still true. ❞

❝ I wished there was some way to explain how very uninterested I was in a normal human life. ❞

❝ I'm feeling extremely insignificant! ❞

BONUS! UNDER THE CUT, FIND A FEW MORE FROM NEW MOON AND ECLIPSE:

"what  part  of  'mortal  enemies'  is  too  complicated  for  you  to—"

"i  don't  think  you  should  dump  all  your  other  friends  for  your  boyfriend."

"sure,  sure.  i'll  stop  by  your  crypt  after  school."

"do  you  really  think  hurting  her  is  better  than  protecting  her?"

"i  thought  it  would  be  something  faintly  realistic."

"look  after  my  heart  —  i've  left  it  with  you."

"if  i  get  hurt,  it  was  because  i  tripped."

"i'm    not    going    to    hide    out    in    the    forest    while    you    all    take    risks    for    me."

"let's    get    this    stupid    party    over    with."

"i    am    not    really    breaking    any    rules."

"i    wondered    why    i    was    being    so    formal.    must    be    the    nerves."

"how  can  we  be  friends,  when  we  love  each  other  like  this?"

“you  try  very  hard  to  make  up  for  something  that  was  never  your  fault.”

“you  didn’t  choose  this  kind  of  life,  and  yet  you  have  to  work  so  hard  to  be  good.”

“you’re  the  very  best  part  of  my  life.”

“it  was  exactly  what  was  to  be  expected.”

“i’d  rather  deal  with  real  zombies  than  watch  a  romance.”

“can  i  help  you  with  something?  you  look  lost.”

“your  friends  are  a  lot  more  interesting  than  mine.”

“five  foot  four  is  perfectly  average.”

“you’re  like  a  little  doll.”

“do  i  look  like  i  tripped  in  your  garage  and  hit  my  head  on  a  hammer?”

“you  can  be  so  out  of  it  sometimes.”

“i’m  in  the  mood  for  action.  bring  on  the  blood  and  guts!”