#screaming crying throwing up over how much i love him actually. very sorry in advance for it

[surviveds]

okay. tommy posting! a masterpost of introductory hcs for my portrayal. i might expand on specific points in different posts because i have a lot of thoughts and feelings.

first and foremost: tommy is closer to 50 than 40. lou is 39 but it doesn't make sense with the canon they've provided in s7 for tommy to be the same age, because if he was, that'd mean he was ~19 in '05 during chim begins and that's just not possible with him also having served (he's clearly not a probie and it seems like he's been at the 118 for years at that point). i'm putting him at maybe 45 or 46.

i do take a lot of inspiration from what lou has had to say about him. he's an only child of shitty parents who didn't really want to be parents, and that had a profound impact on him.

his dad was a miserable man and mediocre cop who felt bad about being mediocre and took it out on his wife and son.

tommy actually did fairly well in school, hoping it'd help assist in his plan of Getting Out, but things really didn't go his way on the college front and he felt trapped, which is what led him to enlisting.

and for the most part, he operated fairly well in the military. it was good to have order. and he was already accustomed to being treated terribly - but it was a little different because at least it wasn't his dad. he did his job and kept to himself, at least for a while, until he started a 'relationship' with another soldier. it was toxic and pretty terrible, overshadowed by DADT, and it ended pretty brutally. tommy had already become pretty disillusioned to the army by the point it ended, but it was another major factor in him getting out the first chance he got.

when he was discharged, he didn't even bother going home. he went to LA, choosing it as his new city because it felt very safe due to its size. it felt like a place that'd be easy to disappear and be just another guy.

he didn't immediately jump to a career with the LAFD. he had a few months of trying to figure his shit out, contemplating if he should finally try to go to college - but it was scary to think about so he ended up dropping the idea. he went through some basic jobs before applying to LAPD impulsively. army to police felt like a natural transition, and he thought maybe it would be a way to actually 'serve' his country, because being overseas doing shitty things for people who wouldn't give him good reasons hardly felt like 'service.' and he did make it through training, got a beat - but he realized pretty quickly that being a cop also wasn't for him. he stuck with it for a few months, though, because he was terrified of feeling lost and at least it was something and he did get to help people, sometimes. because he realized he did like helping people - and when, on one shift, he assisted some firefighters in helping rescue some kids from a wrecked car, and suddenly, a lot of things clicked for him. he turned in his badge and applied to the fire department a week later.

being in the army and then a cop means he wasn't surprised by the culture at the 118. he knew how to blend in well by that point. he knew what part to play to survive. and he does feel really bad about it. he worked hard to make peace with hen and chimney, and they're two people who are incredibly important to him - hen, because she was formative in helping him understand that he can be himself, and chimney because of course he wouldn't be alive without him.

(i also want to point out that i believe he briefly had a crush on chimney. but with all of the repression going on he refused to really recognize it. it did slightly contribute to him not wanting to be around chimney at first, though.)

tommy first acknowledged to himself that he was gay just before he put in for a transfer. of course he understood he was attracted to men long before that point; he'd had secret flings - not just the one in the military - but he'd still tried to be with women. he wanted to believe he was bisexual for a long time and that he could just 'suppress one side of it', but it didn't work. when he accepted he was gay, he put in for a transfer because he felt it'd be easier to start over at a new house. it was a very tough decision, because hen and howie had become family, and he had started to form a relationship with bobby... but he knew this was what he needed to be himself. he didn't have some big announcement about his identity like hen did when he transferred, but he didn't make efforts to hide it, either.

buck is the first firefighter he's dated, though. his prior relationships post-coming out were all with civilians - a few of which, yes, originated from meeting on calls. after the third time, though, he really felt it was a bad idea to continue that pattern. for him, personally, it felt like almost like a power imbalance, and he hated constantly wondering if the guys he was seeing just felt indebted.

he kept up with the 118 even after leaving - mostly because it's hard not to, with how often they make the news, but also because he genuinely does care about a lot of the people there. he reached out to chim after the car accident and the stabbing, and to hen after her accident.

[allylikethecat]

THE EPILOGUE OH MY GOD. frantically googling how to leave more than one kudos. frantically googling how to work at ao3 so i can make an option to leave more than one kudos. aaahh no it's just sososo sweet i cant take it ☹️💞 once again, apologies in advance for my Terrible lack of grammar, im just going insane and the only way to get my thoughts out is by going AXBQJBXJQBZJSHJZNANSJHS for 200 words. ok. my favourite paragraphs time.

He had started meeting with a therapist weekly and he wasn’t sure if it was helping, but even Charli had commented that he seemed more at peace with himself these days.

just this sentence aaaahhhhhhhhh, he is learning and being Better and aaaaahhhh i love i love i love

“I think you’re right,” George agreed. Matty nodded as much to himself as to George, and bit his lip, his nose, sunburnt as always, scrunched up in deep thought.

screaming crying throwing up omg pls, the fact george takes note of the way matty's nose is always burned oh i'm about to DIE ☹️💞

“Would you maybe,” Matty started before trailing off as if he was still contemplating his words, “want to grab dinner or something? Later? If we get rained out? There is a new Italian place that Waughty was telling me about, it’s small and a hole in the wall, but supposed to be good.”

i didn't know it was possible for a person to turn into an exclamation mark but here i am. !!!!!!!!!!!! <- me. matty's asking him oh i'm SOFT aaaaaaaahh i cannot!!!!!!!! genuine tears in my eyes i love this so much 🥲🥲

Matty smiled, the first genuine smile that George had seen directed at him in a long time. “Good,” said Matty before nodding to himself as much as to George. “It’s a date then.”

😭 I 😭 HAVE 😭 DIED 😭 this has killed me and i want the cause of death tattooed on my entite body aaaaaahhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!! it IS a date!!!!!!!!! cutest cutest cutest cutest cutest i'm losing my mind i LOVE THIS 😭😭😭

genuinely insane that it's over omg, but i enjoyed every single word and would buy this as an actual book, i need it bound with gold thread in latin like omgomgomg i just love it so much. and also know that atkh will never ever ever ever ever leave me. i will be the crazy cat aunt and tell all their grand nieces and nephews about The Story I Read One Time and they wont know what i'm on about but it's fine because all the kings horses brainrot lasts until death (im srs every time i see a horse or anything even remotely related im like :)))))))))))this is just like when all the kings horses chapter x:))))))))))))))))))) it's becoming an issue) OKAY. have the best day on the planet in the universe ever and enjoy ur life 💞🙇‍♀️

HI THERE I AM SO SORRY THAT I AM JUST NOW RESPONDING TO THIS LOVELY AMAZING FANTASTIC ASK. I have been a busy burnt out mess and I am so, so sorry. I also got like weirdly sad after posting the final chapter of ATKH? I was like I don't know how to write words anymore because they are all meaningless now that ATKH is finished...

BUT ANYWAY Oh my gosh I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed the epilogue! It was an ending that I was really happy with, because they might not necessarily be back together, but they were working on themselves and there was a hopefulness there! Fictional!George needs a LOT of therapy and thankfully he is finally taking that step!

LOL Just because fictional!George is in therapy doesn't mean he's any less obsessed with Fictional!Matty / that he's not still always aware of him... and the fact that he never fucking remembers sunscreen...

I also wanted them to be more of equals now? Like if they were to try again, it's on equal footing instead of Fictional!George holding all of the power and thus Fictional!Matty is the one that is asking HIM out this time!!

But just AH thank you so much for always being so absolutely lovely and supportive of my writing and sending me the loveliest of asks and I am once again so very sorry for responding to this one so very late. I am so, so grateful to be part of this little community. I hope you continue to enjoy my future works, whatever and whenever they may be. I also hope that you are having the absolute BEST week!

❤️Ally

[dinthehottotty]

Drunk on You - Jack 'Whiskey' Daniels

Warnings: Just some smutty drabble inspired by a new toy....

A/N: I wrote this on mobile so sorry I don't have the drop down bit. Also go gentle on me, this is my first Whiskey piece....

No. No, no. No, no, no, no. Nonononononono! This... could not be happening. Mortification was creeping in. Shame was shuffling from the corner of the hotel room.

It had taken ten minutes for you to begin to realize the weight of the situation. Still you couldn't bare looking to your right. If your legs could just stop shaking, that would be great.

You were a grown woman. An adult. Always prided yourself on your own efficiency. You got the job done, and done right no matter the energy and time. You did it independently for the most part, that's why you'd been hired by Statesmen to begin with. You were an amazing spy with a nerve of steel.

There was only one thing that ever got to you. Agent Jack 'Whiskey' Daniels. What an asshole. You'd never met such a surecocked, womanizing, smug bastard man. He pissed you off so much. You never used to let his advances bother you, but somehow over the years he wiggled his way under your skin. Now a single look from him made you seeth and bristle like a wild animal.

Your pride was now wiped away like a dry erase board. Your mind slowly is beginning to gain its bearings while you tremble in a puddle of your own fluids on your hotel bed. The light of the lamp next to you is a reminder of your vulnerability.

Sparing a glance to your right, everything about you is slow and hesitant. Jack is lounging beside you comfortably, a satisfied smirk coating his face. He's got his eyes closed, his fingertips tapping the air with a song you've got no idea about. He looks almost peaceful in the warm light of the dimmed lamp. And it would be if his stupid porn 'stache wasn't tilted up in a cocky smirk.

Your stomach chooses this inopertune moment to gurgle loudly. Weird, you swore the nausea was due to the naked rodeo clown beside you. Weirder yet, he almost looked good without his yellow sunglasses and cowboy hat. Less like a want to be country music star and more like a Latin lover.

His head lolls your way and his eyes bulldoze you with his thrilled smirk. Even in the low, unflattering light his brown eyes are warm and remind you of the warm gooeyness that is sliding from between your legs. You want it to not feel good, but your so boneless from the last... fuck, you don't even know how long it's been.

"Worked yerself up an appetite, did ya, darlin'?" Your only response is to gulp and you have to look away from him. A shiver rolls through you and he chuckles.

That's the worst part of this. Not the fact that you actually caved and slept with the sleeze of man, not the fact that he was the only person you genuinely hated in regards to company. No, the worst part of this, was how wrecked he had you. Jack Daniels is singlehandedly the best lay you've had in your life and it wasn't even hate sex.

Granted you should be screaming at him to get the fuck out of your hotel room and raging that he barged in on you in the first place.

Ginger had been so polite in regards to leaving you in the room by yourself for a bit. Laughing as you called after her 'if there is an emergency, don't call me, get the boys!' And then you forgot to turn on airplane mode.

It wasn't that Statesmen couldn't afford two rooms for you both. Instead, she was your near and dear friend and missions served as your sleepovers. You'd both spend free moments giggling and gossiping about the other agents. And also your sex lives and preferences. Also, your newest toy that you hadn't gotten to try.

A tiny egg with a little tongue and suction on it. The catalyst. You'd been prepared when your eyes and ears left to give a good review only to very quickly discover just how delightful and overwhelming the little tool was.

Too aware of how Whiskey was leaning over you with a grin, you suddenly feel nervous. "Don't tell me I fucked the sass out of you, sweetheart. I do love that wicked tongue you've got." He thumbs your lower lip and you find your self holding in panting. For fucks sake it took you nearly ten minutes to stop after he'd finally rolled off you.

It's pitiful that you just let out a tiny whine, pushing weakly at his chest. It makes his grin deepen, his dimples practically shining. "Don't go soft on me now, girl."

"Need minute," you finally rasp, voice hoarse. He leans down, shocking you with a hungry pass of his mouth over yours.

You should want to fight him, but your mind feels as boneless as your body.

There is a noise. A beep of the door unlocking with the card swiped.

Ginger is back.

She still knocks, bless her heart. It's like Whiskey doesn't even notice, instead just drawing his mouth over your jaw and tasting your neck lazily. He must know. Either he thinks it's housekeeping or he just doesn't give a fuck.

"Rosé?" She calls out from the hallway by the door. "I hope I gave you enough lead time to try-" she gasps as she rounds the corner and finds you wrapped up with a man you despise. "Oh, lord! What even happened?" She averts her wide eyes and Whiskey chuckles warmly over you.

"Decommissioned," you rasp out, complete mush under the mouthing at your neck. "Sorry." Teeth appear and your vaguely aware that Whiskey is laughing with delight against you.

He lifts enough to flash a grin at Ginger.

"You hate him! What do you mean 'decommissioned'?" She throws her hands up.

"What's the racket?" Eggsy calls, strutting in with Gallahad. Both of them freeze at the sight of you practically preening under the warm body over you. "No fuckin' way," the kid demands when Whiskey jerks the blankets up around your naked form.

"Now, I don't mind the company, but if you boys want a show, I suggest you go find the HBO channel back in your respective rooms. The lady is going to need a hot meal and a nice nap before she goes anywhere." You don't even register that you're nodding along with his statement.

"No way you bagged Rosé," Eggsy demands. "She looks drugged!" The heat of a big calloused hand rolls up over your side under the sheet and you let your eyes fall shut. Ginger just shakes her head like a disappointed mother.

"Not drugged," you manage to offer. It earns you a happy purr from the smug agent above you and he rolls a hand between your legs unabashedly. Your still too sensitive and jerkily shove his hand, gasping. "Out, please," you murmur, no bite to your words as a warm mouth finds the hollow behind your ear.

Ginger quickly agrees, shuffling quickly out of the room. Eggsy, even with Gallahad's prompting tries to stick around, giving you shit until the mouth leaves your neck.

"The lady politely requested you leave. Find the door, boy." He snarls like a caged animal and it sends warmth down belly. You find yourself uncaring and unfurling beneath him as Eggsy is lead out of the room.

"Hungry," you moan, trying to glower when he goes to reposition and settle between your thighs. It earns you a cocky grin.

"Atta girl!" You don't know what you expect, but it's hardly him pulling your legs up and proping them over his shoulders while he reaches for the phone.

You both moan when he sinks into you, wettly and just as easily as before. "Fuck, feel so good, baby." And he leans over, picking up the phone and dialing. There is ringing as he cradles the phone between his shoulder and ear, rolling his hips forward. He's rewarded with the obnoxiously loud squelch that accompanies his thrusts. "What sounds good to eat?" Whiskey asks as you pant and writhe beneath him like his cock isn't stretching you beyond capacity.

"Everything," you gasp out.

"Could you send us the works? Whatever you've got on special." You can't pay attention to anything else he says, in the back of your mind your mind you know your a mess.

It's when you hear the tiny motor start that your hand is jerking down and your snatching his wrist. "Jack, no, I can't-" you rasp as you stop his hand from bringing the little egg down on your clit.

"Why not?" But it doesn't actually sound like a question and his eyes are glinting down on you.

"Is too much, hurts."

"You weren't complaining earlier."

"Overstimulated." He gives a growl, shutting the vibrator off before hauling your knees into the crook of his arms. It has you moaning unabashedly as he changes angles, stirring the pace up.

"Feels so good, oh fuck, feels good. Don't stop, please don't stop, always wanna be full, fill me up please." What kind of effect was this? You never babbled.

"What a good girl," he rumbles, "finally giving into how desperate she's been for me. Do you want to cum around me again?" He watches you falling apart beneath him, a complete wreck.

"Can't, can't cum. Felt like I was cumming the whole time that toy was on my clit. Hurts." A hand rubs down your belly, a direct path to the heaven between your legs that he's still fucking. You scramble for his wrist again but he's stronger and you let out a cry as he brushes a knuckle over your swollen and abused clit. It just makes him chuckle when you arch off the pillow below your hips.

Your so wet that it's coating your thighs and making him glide against you like your coated in oil. Everything was wet and warm.

"C'mon girl, don't tell me yet that I've won?" He rasps. There is a need that builds up at those words. An anger as you manage some kind of weak glare up at him. You fumble for him.

You intend fully on crushing his mouth against yours and devouring him in response to his quip. It seems to surprise you both when your lips move more tenderly than either of you anticipate.

Whiskey goes stiff in your arms, fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck. There's a moment you think you've killed the mood but then he's sink down against you and tenderly kissing you back.

It's not unexpectedly fun and wild like the rest of this desperate affair has been. Instead, his hips roll slow and smooth, no rush or reason beyond just feeling you. The heat of him consumes you as you breathe into each other's mouths, drinking the other in and soaking in hot hands.

"Shoulda done this sooner," you manage against his mouth and feel his chuckle rumble you both.

"Offers been there," he groans. "Spend the night in my room," he pleads gently. It has you shivering.

"Okay," you sigh, mush beneath the fulfilling stretch he was giving. He could ask you to kill Eggsy here and now and you'd probably say yes. Just as long as this never ended. You were drunk on Whiskey.

[in-my-feels-probably]

INEFFABLE - Kaz Brekker

Chapter Six

If you would like to read this on Wattpad, it’s on there as well, my @ is in_my_feels_probably and there’s a few visuals and better descriptions and stuff on there. otherwise, enjoy, let me know what you think, and you can check out my masterlist for updates and more. don’t forget to read the prologue, it’s important to the story!

INEFFABLE – Kaz Brekker

ineffable (adj.) too great to be expressed in words, utterly indescribable; too sacred to speak of. 

Chapter Six

It was nightfall by now, and Elham, Kaz and Inej were following the Conductor to his supposed way across the Fold. Jesper was nowhere to be found, and Elham could only imagine what kind of trouble he had gotten to by this point in the night. The moonlight casted over them as they walked, the Conductor leading.

“We're almost there. Just a little further.”

Kaz fell back a bit, causing Elham and Inej to slow, matching his stride. He kept his voice hushed. “Where the hell is Jesper?”

“I should’ve gone with him. Have I ever been wrong? No. Do you ever listen to me? No. And here we are.”

Elham knew she was bold for speaking to Kaz like that, they might have been close, but he was still technically her boss, and more than that, she needed him focused on this job. Making him angry was never a good idea, but she just couldn’t help herself. It was too fun teasing him. She was the only one who could get away with it.

Kaz pretended like he couldn’t hear her, rolling his eyes, walking a little faster. He knew she was right, but he would never admit it. The Conductor approached a sign, barely lit up by his torch. He continued walking past it, but Inej stopped, putting her arm out in front of Elham.

“Landmines.”

Elham stopped, huffing. There was no point in being surprised, she knew this job was going to be the hardest one she ever went on. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t have a slight temper tantrum in Kaz’s direction though, it was just her luck that this would go bad from the beginning.

She almost risked following the Conductor, deciding to not care about the imminent death in the field, when Kaz put his cane out to stop her, giving her a glare. “We’ll wait. Follow the path that you carve.”

“Oh, that sign, it was my idea to keep people away. Can’t be too careful. We’re fine. Come.”

Elham glanced at them, sighing. Might as well. She took off, following the footsteps the Conductor had set, Inej hot on her trail. Kaz stood behind, looking for another way, before realizing there wasn’t one. He sighed, trying to corral the goat closer to him, before slowly following them.

The Fold was a wall, a giant black mass, with eerie groans and high pitched screeches coming from the inside. It was bigger than anything Elham could have imagined, and the pit in her stomach only grew. If nightfall was dark, the only light coming from the moon, she couldn’t imagine how dark and empty the inside of the Fold must be, a void.

Inej was warily glancing around. “It’s one thing hearing about it, but this is--”

“Nothing, compared to what lies within.”

Elham scoffed. “Thank you, Arken, very inspiring.”

The Crows watched Arken slowly crank a handle, watching a dingy train emerge from the edge of the Fold. “There. So, goat, jurda, thank you. Now we’re just waiting on…”

Gunshots emerged on the other side of the field, and Elham turned to see Jesper sprinting in their direction, a crowd of men right on his heels. “Wait for me!”

“They can’t see the train!” The Conductor took the torch from Inej, putting it out in the sand.

Kaz was growing angrier by the second. “Jesper! Get here now!”

“Put out the lantern.”

Elham pulled the pistol off her hip, advancing forward just enough to be able to aim at the men after Jesper. She only had two bullets, and then her gun would be useless. Without her sword, all she would have left is the knife strapped to her thigh. Still, Jesper had to get there, preferably not full of bullet holes.

She began picking off the two closest to him, one bullet missing, hitting the sign next to him, the other lodging itself into another man's thigh. He crumpled to the floor with a cry. “Damn it, Jesper! Hurry the fuck up, I’m out of bullets!”

She dropped the gun, pulling out the knife, ready to use it if she had to. Jesper had stopped now, reading the landmines sign. He picked his pace back up when another gunshot flew over his head. “Oh, wait for me! Don’t you go without me! Wait!”

Elham turned, pulling herself up onto the train, grabbing Jesper’s arm and pulling him in when he got close enough, falling back into one of the seats. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

The men were still advancing, and Inej began pulling the door shut, checking to make sure everything was secure. Elham had stood now, grabbing the sack off Jesper’s shoulder handing it to Arken.

“Please tell me this is 20 pounds of alabaster coal.”

Jesper turned to them. “Slight snag in the plan. Turns out that the kid who was helping me buy the coal, didn’t exactly know how to, uh, buy coal.”

Kaz nodded, unamused. “We know you gambled it away.”

“I lost a little bit of the money...ok I lost all of the money, but I managed to steal twenty pounds of alabaster coal.”

The Conductor looked over the bag. “No, no, no, there’s sixteen pounds!��

Jesper corrected himself, smoothing down his jacket. “Sixteen pounds, of alabaster coal.”

Kaz looked like he was going to have a heart attack, and Elham was fighting herself to not say I told you so. “Can we do it on sixteen?”

“Never been done before?”

Gunshots hit the side of the train, and Arken moved Jesper, placing him into a seat. “Sit here. Never shift your weight.”

Inej slowly sank into a chair, and Kaz violently pulled off his jacket, before motioning to Elham to sit down. She took a seat next to him, and watched Arken pull up his sleeve, seeing cuts along his wrist, like tally marks. Saints, he had crossed that many times?

Inej, knife drawn, said a quick prayer. Elham took a deep breath, getting ready to think of some funny last words, when an explosion went off, followed by the sound of men screaming.

Kaz’s face grew cold. “I thought you said they weren’t real.”

“I said nothing of the sort. I just said I put the sign up myself.” The Conductor hit a few levers, and the train began moving. Kaz glared, leaning back in his seat, and Elham straightened up next to him, exasperatedly laughing. Could this be going any worse?

---

It had been a few minutes, and the train was barreling down, the Conductor checking his watch. The sound of metal clanging got everyone’s attention, and Jesper uneasily sat up. “What was that?”

“I’ve erected a system of timers along the line. Bits of metal hung on poles to keep me apprised of our pace.”

This piqued Kaz’s interest. “How did you know where to put the poles?”

“Physics and engineering account for most of my success. The rest is what we might call divine intervention, what others might call luck.”

Elham scoffed at that. “If there was any divine intervention, I’d be at the bottom of the harbour right now, Saint’s know I deserve it. But here I am, imminent death looming over me. Sounds like bad luck to me, eh Arken?”

“Well, I don’t know about that. I do know that the Fold is thick with volcra, and the tracks are not complete. Coal, please?”

Jesper perked up at that, eyes widening. “I’m sorry, did you say the tracks weren't complete?”

“I said they aren’t complete. And stop moving.”

Elham turned to Kaz, for the first time in the night, feeling actual fear. If she was going to die back there, a gunshot wound, or landmine, then so be it. It would be kinder than anything Heleen had planned for her. But to be ripped apart by volcra, part of a mass grave in the Fold?

Kaz gave her a look, one that said to calm down, don’t lose it. Arken ignored it, telling him to put in more coal. They were running late.

Jesper fidgeted in his seat, panicking, “I'm sorry, can we get back to the bigger issue? We’re on tracks that don’t connect to other tracks?”

“Yes, there’s a gap, but--”

Kaz had lost all patience. “You said you could get us through.”

Jesper was still panicking, now exasperated. “How much of a gap?”

Arken fidgeted with the levers, pushing buttons, and the car lurched forward. “I built slats on the car. They roll into place under the wheels. The turbine generates enough wind to push us all the way to the eastern track. As long as we don’t shift our weight. Now, the noise may attract volcra, but it’s the only way across. There’s a nest nearby, but we’ll be fine. If they haven’t attacked us in--”

A volcra screech was heard in the distance.

“Well now we’ve got a problem.”

“Of fucking course. Because why would this go well? Why would anything be easy? Can’t have anything nice, can we?”

Kaz looked worried now, but he was probably the most calm of the group. “Elham, shut up, Jesper’s gonna go into cardiac arrest if you say things like that. Arken, how do you fight them off?”

“I outrun them, open the throttle and toss in all the coal, which works when there’s twenty pounds of it!”

Elham sucked in a breath. “Jesper, I love you, but if we make it out of this alive, I’m most definitely going to kill you. Sit still!”

The car was slammed into, and a horrifying screech was heard. A pool of blood began pouring in through one of the cracks in the ceiling. Arken looked out the window. “Damn it! The stupid thing impaled itself on the spike.”

Kaz spoke up. “We need to get it off, the others are going to stand on it!”

“More coal!”

“We’re down to fumes! We’ll never make it with this extra weight.” He tossed the bag into the flames, but it did little to the pace.

Jesper was sitting in his chair, staring off. “This is how we die?”

Arken didn’t even look up. “Jesper, grab the groat.”

“I’m not throwing out the goat!”

“Grab the damn goat! It’s not bait, it’s for you! I need you to calm down, hug the goat. Shut the hell up.”

Jesper picked up the goat and held it tight to his chest, Inej groaning and placing her head in her hands.

Another clang, signalling the pace, went off, and Arken paled. “We should have hit that twenty seconds ago. My timings are precise to get us outside. Even twenty seconds behind means the train stops inside the Fold, and that...that means we die. There’s more coming!”

More volcra stacked up on top of the train car, screeching, and Arken scurried back to his chair. “You may want to make your peace!”

Elham turned to Kaz, who was positively out of plans. Inej was praying, Jesper was clutching tightly to the goat.

This was it.

Kaz met her eyes, desperately trying to come up with something to say, something that would possibly be good enough for his last moments with his Crows, with his Valkyrie, when Jesper stood up, the goat still under his arm.

He had this sense of calm to him, face now determined. He stepped forward, heading to the front of the car, the Crows watching him. He suddenly pulled his pistols from their holsters, twirling them around in his hands, before firing up at the ceiling. Volcra screeched, blood spattered, Arken was cowering in the corner, but Jesper persisted, rotating pistols, firing away.

Their pace increased as more and more volcra fell away from the train car, and Jesper holstered his pistols.

Inej glanced around, who had been still in her seat the entire ride. “Are they all dead?”

There was a moment of silence, before a claw burst in through the ceiling, and a volcra’s head pushed its way in. Arken screamed, but Jesper just raised his pistol, chambering a round, and launched it into the volcra’s head. It screeched, before falling off the train as well.

The Crows sat in their seats, stunned faces, before another metal clang went off, signalling the timer again. Arken checked his watch, and suddenly, the inside of the train car was lit up.

They had made it out.

They skidded to a stop at the edge of the Fold. They slowly stood up, making their way out of the train car. Elham wiped at her face, hopping out, turning to Jesper. “I’ve reconsidered. I’m not going to kill you. But pull some shit like that again, and I swear I’ll--”

“Got it, got it. Won’t happen again, love.”

She scoffed at that, speeding up to catch up with Kaz, who was leading them into the city. She muttered to herself. “Yeah, Jesper, sure. And I’m the Queen of the Barrel.”

Kaz raised a brow, glancing at her next to him, before continuing on.

---

A/N - hi, here's another chapter. please check out the authors note chapter, i will be deleting it before i post the next chapter, but i wanted a little feedback. (if you're reading this on tumblr, i didn't post the authors note on here, i'm basically just asking for opinions, critiques, likes, dislikes, ideas, i just want to writ something you all would enjoy better.) feel free to contact me anytime, and thank you for the support!

[skycollides]

Hi are your requests open? If so I LOVEDD the last Billy Russo fic you wrote, with that being said, can you write something with smut&angst? For Billy Russo please

Hello, I love your writing. Can you give me something smutty and filthy for Billy Russo? If your ok with that?

Thank your for reading my work. It means a lot!💜

I combined these to I hope that's okay!

I Need You

Billy Russo x Reader

Authors note: I apologize in advance for grammar or spelling mistakes

English isn’t my native language.

Let me know if you want to be tagged.

Requests are open. Feel free to send them in.

Warning: angst, smut, mentions of body fluids, swearing

Words: 2.170

Billy is more and more busy with Anvil. You actually thought after he quit the Army you will be able to spend more time with him, to have him around more often. You always felt so lonely when he left to another tour but having him home now doesn’t change the way you feel. You still feel lonely. Actually you feel more lonely than before. You barely see Billy anymore. You wake up in the morning he is gone, you go to bed at night he’s still out. The only time you see him is when you wake up in the middle of the night. You’ve reached the point where you cry yourself to sleep nearly everyday because you can’t take the distance and these feelings anymore.

It’s time for a change because you don’t wanna continue living like this anymore. You asked your cousin if she would take you in for a couple of days, at least until you know what to do. So here you are packing a bag while crying your eyes out. You’re so scared that this will be the very end of your relationship. Still you are taking only the necessary stuff hoping that you won’t have to stay long. Once you’re done you take the bag and leave your shared apartment.

Billys Pov.

Billy comes home earlier than the last couple of months and he is greeted with an empty apartment.

’’Y/n? Babe where are you?’’ asks loudly but there is no answer. He searches the whole apartment for you but you’re not there. So he decides to text you.

Hey baby,

I’m at home where are you?

It’s lonely without you here.

It takes a few minutes before he gets a reply.

Guess now you know 

how I’ve been feeling since

you came back from the army.

First your head was still over there

and now it is with Anvil.

I’m not really mad Billy, 

more sad but hey people change

maybe it’s a sign that we 

aren’t the people we used to be.

That’s okay! 

Billy reads the text over and over again. He’s now thinking about the past couple of weeks even months and he realizes his mistake. He didn’t give you the attention you deserve and need. He also realizes how much he missed you and how scary the thought of loosing you is.

Come home sweetheart.

Please come home.

I beg you Y/n.

I need you as much as you need me.

I love you.

Billy puts his phone on the coffee table in front of him and hopes that you will return to him.

Your Pov.

You read  the message and hand your phone over to your cousin. She reads the message and looks at you waiting for a reaction. 

’’What should I do?’’ you ask her and she gives you your phone back.

’’Go home and talk to him. I mean you just got here couple of hours ago and I don’t wanna get a rid of you but you two should talk. At some point you’ll have to so why not now.’’

’’Looks like I’ll be going home then.’’ you say and get off the couch.

You take the your stuff hug you cousin and drive home.

———————————————————————————————————————————

’’Hey’’ you say softly and drop the bag. Billy looks up to you and smiles.

’’Hey. Thank you for coming home Y/n. Come here.’’ he says and holds his hand out for you. You walk over to him and sit down next to him.

’’Tell me everything that’s been bothering you Y/n. I know I fucked up. I need to know how much my actions actually did affect you.’’

’’Everything?’’

’’Everything. Don’t hold back Y/n.’’

’’I cried myself to sleep nearly everyday. I feel like shit Billy. I feel like you forget about me, like you don’t care about me anymore. I feel more alone having you here than back then when you were with the Marines. When you were on those tours you at least called me and send me letters. You didn’t bother doing that over the past couple of weeks. The text you sent me earlier - it was the first I love you I received in a really long time. All I know is that I won’t continue living like this. I wont continue feeling like this. I don’t want you to throw away your dreams and I won’t make you chose between me and Anvil.  We have two opportunities right know Billy. Whether we go separate ways, which I don’t want at all or you find a way to have both, Anvil and me. Then you need to work on your time management because I’m not a doll to throw in a corner and get it back when it suits you. What happens now is on you.’’  you say and he gets off the couch leaving you there which makes you cry even more. He soon returns with your favorite blanket and a pack of tissues. He sits down next to you again, hands you the tissues and wraps the blanket around you. You take them gladly, blow your nose and wipe the tears away.

Billy pulls you in his arms stoking your back.

’’I’m so sorry baby. I worked so hard on Anvil, on my future - our future that I forgot what’s most important. You my love. I want to be able to take care of you. While I put all my effort in Anvil I stopped putting effort in us. I stop working on weekends. Saturdays and Sundays are ours from now on and I will be home sooner during the week. All I can say is that I am sorry. I love you with everything I have Y/n you’re the one for me. Don’t give up on me.’’

’’Promise?’’ 

’’Pinky promise’’ he says and holds out his finger.

’’Idiot’’ you say and laugh.

’’There is one question left Y/n.’’ you give him a questioning look at him and raise your eyebrow.

’’How can I make it up to you?’’

’’I’ve got an idea Russo.’’ you say and smirk. You grab his hand and drag him to the bedroom.

’’I love the way your brain works baby.’’ he says and you push him on the bed before you slip out of your dress.

’’Go gonna strip for me?’’ Billy asks.

’’You’re going to make it up to me not the other way around. You Mr. Russo don’t deserve it. So no I won’t be stripping for you and now get out of your clothes.’’ you reply.

’’Someone’s desperate.’’ he says and smirks.

’’Considering the fact that I can’t even remember the last time we had sex, I’m allowed to be.’’ you say as you watch him undress.

’’Well get over here then ba-.’’ before he can fishes his sentence you’re on top of him , straddling him, cutting him off with a kiss. 

’’I need you Billy!’’ you say not caring how desperate it my sound.

Billy pulls his face closer to his, kissing you like his life is depending on it. His hand goes straight to you neck keeping you place. 

’’Get off me Y/n.’’ he says after he releases your lips and you sit down next to him. You take off your bra while Billy takes care of your panties. As soon as you’re completely naked you lay down.

’’Relax baby I’m gonna take care of you.’’ Billy says pushing two fingers in your mouth. You suck on them right away, getting them nice and wet. Billy pulls his fingers out he starts rubbing your clit. You let out a sigh.

’’Can’t believe you’re already this wet for me. We haven’t even started yet.’’ he says and pushes his fingers inside of you. You moan loudly finally being this close to Billy again. He starts to move them in and out slowly, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable since its been a while since you were intimate.

While he is pumping his fingers in and out you start rubbing your clit looking straight into Billys eyes.

’’Does that feel good babygirl?’’ 

’’So good babe’’ you say and whimper as the pleasure is building up more and more.

’’Such a good girl you are Y/n. Are you close baby?’’

’’Yes. Please let me cum.’’ you beg as you feel your orgasm building up.

All of the sudden Billy slaps your hand away and removes his fingers licking them clean.

’’You won’t cum unless my dick’s inside of you. You taste incredible by the way.’’ he says once he is done licking his fingers.

’’On your hands and knees Y/n. NOW!’’ Billy demands and you do as you’re told. He gets behind you right away. His hand moves to his now hard cock, stroking it a few times before bringing it to your pussy. He pushes the head between your folds moving up and down to tease you.

’’Stop teasing me and fuck me Russo!’’

Billy pushes himself inside you carefully. You hold onto his pillow which in laying next to you trying not to cum right away. Once he’s inside you all the way he waits a moment to make sure you okay.

’’Go on babe’’ you say and he starts to push in and out of you faster now making you jolt forward.

’’Fuck Billy just like that. Don’t make me wait that long for you ever again.’’

’’Never again Y/n. Fuck I don’t know how I was surviving without this tight beautiful pussy of yours. Shit you feel so good babygirl.’’ he says and your pussy clenches around him because of it. Billy lets out a low moan. 

’’Tell me what you want Y/n’’ he says and smacks your ass a couple of times.

’’I want you and I want you hard and fast. Destroy this pussy. Show me who owns it.’’ you beg and after those words there’s no holding back for Billy.

He is now slamming his cock in and out has hard and as fast as he can. He grabs a fist full of you hair and pulls you back into his chest. Once you’re up he wraps his hand around your throat choking you slightly while the other arm wraps around your waist holding you in place.

’’That’s what you wanted right? Am I making you feel good babygirl?’’

’’Yes Billy god yes don’t stop.’’ you say and he pushes you down again.

’’Such a needy girl you are. I swear once I’m done with you, you won’t be able to walk properly for a week.’’ he says and smack you ass hard again.

Billys movements become more and more irregular and you know he is as close as you are.

’’Billy I need to cum. Please let me cum. I beg you. Please’’ you scream.

’’Cum for me baby. Cum all over my cock.’’ he says and you let go.

You arch you back and Billy can’t hold back anymore as he feels your pussy clench around him.

He finds his release inside of you not stopping to thrust inside of you. The both of you are moaning messes not wanting this feeling to end. He stays inside you for a little longer before slowly pulling out. You’re not able to move. You simply lay there trying to deal with this intense orgasm you’re pretty sure you passed out for a moment.

You feel his and your juices dripping out of you.

’’You were absolutely incredible Y/n. Fuck woman.’’ he says but you don’t reply.

’’You okay there baby?’’ Billy asks as he stokes your back. You turn your head to look at him.

’’Mhmmm’’ is all you get out.

’’You’re dick drunk Y/n’’ he says and laughs.

’’Probably. No one’s fucked me as good as you do.’’ you confess and he smiles.

’’We guess what? Your pussy is the best I’ve ever had and you know my record.’’ he says and kisses you deeply.

’’I love you William Russo.’’ you say and stoke his cheek with your thumb.

’’I love you too Y/n L/n more than anything in this world. Ready for round two?’’ he asks

’’Give me break Russo. Ask me again in 10 minutes.’’ you say and he laughs. Billy gets off the bed and pulls his phone out of his jeans before laying down next to you again.

’’What are you doing?’’ you ask.

’’Setting a timer.’’ he replies as if it’s the most normal, thing in the world.

’’You’re impossible.’’ you say shaking your head.

’’And still you love me.’’

’’True that. By the way just because you fucked me good doesn’t mean you’re off the hook yet.’’

’’That’s fine the night is still young and I meant what I said once I’m done you won’t be able to talk anymore. I will destroy this sweet little pussy of yours.’’

’’That’s a threat?’’

’’No babygirl that’s a damn promise.’’ he says with a smirk.

Taglist:

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[contemplativepancakes]

15x18 coda: it’s in the being

Blood splatters from a severed neck, the body twitching before it collapses to the floor. It sprays across Dean’s face, dotting red droplets over his cheeks and in his hair. Dean keeps his mouth shut so he doesn’t get the taste of copper stuck in it; he already can’t get Cas’s face out of his mind.

There’s a wounded sounding whine coming from somewhere as he dodges the vamps attacks that he realizes is coming from him. He whirls and slices his machete through another vamp’s neck, catching and jerking his arm as it cuts through the spinal cord

That’s fine, sharpening the blade will give him something to do after he’s killed them all. Dean knows this is the last place he should be, that with the world ending, it doesn’t really matter if there’s one less nest of vamps in the world, but if he stops moving, then he’ll… have to think. 

“I wondered what my true happiness could even look like, because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have.”

Fuck, they wasted so much time. 

Dean yanks at the vamp’s hair coming towards him, stopping her just short of his neck. He clocks her in the jaw before throwing her backwards and off of him, turning to another who’s advancing and snarling at him. 

“But I think...I think I know now. Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in the being, in the just saying it.”

“What are you talking about, man?” Dean had asked, because he couldn’t dare to let himself believe that after so long this was how it was going to happen. 

Call him a romantic, but Dean had imagined them somewhere on Baby’s hood, watching the stars, after Chuck was nothing but a distant thought. He’d turn to Cas and say it, ever so casually, and Cas would say it back without hesitation, like it had never been a question. 

And maybe, after all this time, it hadn’t been.

A vamp jumps on top of him, knocking him down to the cold concrete, and he almost just lets it happen. What’s the point? Chuck is destroying the world, and Cas is gone. 

Dean thinks about Sam, about his cell phone weighing his pocket down with all its missed calls and kicks his knees up, dislodging the vamp and scrambling to his feet. 

“You are the most caring man on earth, the most selfless, the most loving human being I will ever know.”

Obviously he wasn’t, or he wouldn’t have let the empty just take Cas while he stood there and watched helplessly. At the very least, he could have fucking said it back. And now Cas is never going to know. 

Dean slices viciously at another vamp, and fuck, just how many were in this nest? It’s not like he did any reconnaissance, he had just driven, and driven, until he had heard a scream coming out of a shady ass warehouse. Even out of his mind with grief, it just wasn’t in his nature to ignore a call for help. 

“You know, ever since we met, and ever since I pulled you out of hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.”

Dean wishes he could have changed, wishes he could have been less of a piece of shit and turned into someone who could actually deserve Cas. He’s such a fucking asshole, and Cas had still been there, fucking crying as he told Dean all the things Dean had thought he’d never hear. 

“I love you,” he’d said, and then he’d smiled like Dean was worth all the pain, all the bullshit, the years of repression and denial. 

Dean nicks the last vamp with the edge of his machete. The vamp hisses at him and backs up, circling him warily. Dean clenches his jaw. If his muscles get anymore tense, he might just shatter into a million piece, and honestly, that’d be okay. 

“Don’t do this, Cas,” Dean begged, as the blackness of the empty started to seep through the wall. 

Dean turned to look at it, anything so that he wouldn’t have to look Cas in the eyes. He couldn’t say it, he refused for this to be the way the truth came out 

“Cas,” Dean had said, the rest of the words stuck in his throat. 

Cas put a hand on his shoulder. “Goodbye, Dean.”

Dean cries out as there’s a sudden jab to his side, and warmth starts spreading over the skin. He lashes out with his machete, and the vamp’s head goes rolling. Dean looks down and sees red seeping through his jacket. 

Cas is gone, and Dean is alone. 

Dean takes a deep breath and presses his hand to his side. Blood drips through his fingers as he makes his way out to Baby, his machete hanging loosely to his side in its scabbard. He collapses into the driver’s seat, uncaring of how he’s staining the leather. It’ll come out, or it won’t. Dean’s not sure that he’ll be around to care. He doesn’t see how he’s going to muster all of the will he’s going to need to fight Chuck right now. 

He’s living in a deflated balloon, gasping for oxygen, but there’s none to be found without Cas. Dean’s turns over the motor with shaky fingers. He slowly shifts gears, easing Baby out onto the road as his mind whirls. His phone rings again. He gasps for breath before he answers. “‘Lo?”

“Dean? Dean! Holy shit, Dean, what are you doing?”

Dean doesn’t know. “Sam, it’s… it’s Cas,” he chokes out. 

Dean knows he should be stronger right now, that he needs to be there for Sam, because, hell, he just lost Eileen, but Dean can’t right now. He can’t be the brother that he’s supposed to be. He’s not strong enough for everyone to lean on while he crumbles. Fuck, what is he going to tell the kid? Jack’s going to be just as heartbroken as him, albeit in a different way. 

Dean pounds his fist against the steering wheel as silence crackles over the line. 

Finally, “Dean, I’m so sorry. What happened? Was it Chuck?”

Dean starts to answer, but his voice gets strangled as it tries to come out. He shakes his head, knowing Sam can’t see him. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Sam says softly. “Pull over, all right? I’ll come to you.”

Dean steers Baby to the shoulder of the road and feels a pang in his side. As he looks down to examine it more closely, he sees blood on his shoulder. Dean looks in the mirror to get a closer look, and it’s a handprint. Dean’s going to be sick. 

“I’ve got you,” Cas had said, and he did. He really did. 

Dean buries his face in his hands and cries.

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[burnedbyshoto]

just this once

pairing: todoroki shouto x reader

warning: angsty, fluff, cursing

word count: 2,670

a/n: this is for the bnharem collaboration!!!!! how exciting!!!! will I ever not be obsessed with shouto??? only god will know. but anyways, enjoy bbies :D

message to join taglist :D

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“These are for you!”

Your fingers clenched a box of chocolates too tightly, the red paper reflecting the bright February sun, and your scarf was wrapped tightly around your face. Your words a near mumble when you presented your gift of affection. 

“Like that?” You ask, your eyes shifting over to your friends who were judging your presentation. “I feel like I was a bit too stiff, what do you think?”

“You look like a goddamn little school girl,” Jirou snorted, a grin spreading on her face as the others more or less agreed. Those words immediately threw a wrench in your confidence, your bottom lip assaulted by your teeth while you watched your friends discuss their opinions.

“It’s super cute and romantic,” Mina sighed, and your shoulders picked up. Hope and confidence were flooding your veins again. “But we are eighteen years old, almost graduating, and you’ve never been able to accomplish this before.”

“Yeah, but,” you say, your arms sweeping out, your finger pointed at your friends who remained silent, all their eyebrows quirked in curiosity and amusement. You don’t continue on, your voice cutting off, your thoughts unable to form.

“But?” Momo asked a kind smile on her face, encouraging you to continue.

“I don’t know,” you laugh, although the tremor in your voice shows that it was not done out of amusement. “I mean, we’re actually good friends now, we talk, kinda? As much as you can with him being so damn busy all the time… I totally got this! Besides, I gave all the other guys gifts, so why would he think he’s different?!”

“BECAUSE HE IS DIFFERENT TO YOU!” They seemed to holler all at once, and your cheeks burned. You turned on your heel, your backs facing your friends, and your eyes lowered to the box of chocolates.

This was accomplishable. You had survived the worst villains in the world, you had survived motherfucking UA, handing your love chocolates to Todoroki Shouto would be a breeze! In and out faster than Iida. You’d scream that the chocolates were for him, shove them into his chest, and race off before he could reject you. It was a solid plan, in your opinion. 

You roll your eyes, choosing to stick out your tongue at your friends who all groaned in response. They had zero faith in you, and to be quite honest, you had no faith in yourself either. You never won in this sort of battle. Three years of being in love with someone who clearly had no romantic interest in you was truly exhaustive, why you didn’t just give up was beyond you. Just this once you wanted a win, to see that at the very least he would accept the chocolates you had spent way too long making. 

“You have about five minutes before they leave,” Uraraka’s voice broke you from your stupor, “they have rounds.”

It slammed into you then, the fear and terror of being reject burned at every cell in your body. Your eyes focused on the box of chocolates in your hands; there was a white envelope made out to Shouto with a confession of your affections should you fail at your words. There was no way you were getting out of this; it seemed. 

Your steps were heavy as you walked towards the lockers, the sweet sounds of the ending winter filled your ears, and the soft giggles of girls and boys in love made your heart pump faster than it should. You got this, you were basically a Pro Hero now, you’ve stared death in the face and walked out living. You were reliable, amazing, and so much more.

But the words you were reciting to keep your spirits high were useless, the dread was a rock in your stomach, a black hole of apprehension. There was no doubting Shouto was going to have a lot of presents, hell he had a fucking Fanclub already! The gifts all those girls could afford, the chocolates they could make were most definitely better than yours.

The box of chocolates rattled in your fingers, your distress bleeding into your form. You took one last long look at your chocolates, finally having arrived at the lockers, and you turned towards the group of six girls who merely gave you energetic encouragement.

‘You got this, y/n!” read a sign most definitely just created by Momo. 

The laughter that spluttered from your lips was shaky, but it helped ease your worry. With a nod that betrayed your nervousness, you spun on your heel and walked into the lockers, en route to Shouto’s.

You smiled at your underclassmen who greeted you, your lips opening to complement their presents, and making light talk for you had somewhere to be. And then you saw him, a tall boy with red and white hair, opening a locker that most definitely exploded with valentine cards and chocolates. You froze, hidden behind the lockers. Shouto sighed, his figure kneeling down to gather the things on the floor, and you realized this was the perfect time for you to run in and throw your gift into the pile without needing to actually talk!

“Hey, Todoroki-kun!” You whispered sharply in your panic, your heart thundering in your chest at the sight of your crush calmly picking up his gifts. 

“SHOUTO-KUN!” Another voice shouted, and you felt frozen in your path when another girl you’d never talked to before bounded out of the blue and immediately latched onto Shouto’s side. Your hands remained frozen at your chest, the box of chocolates pressed into your body.

“Hi, Suki,” Shouto answered, a small but bright smile enveloping his face. 

There you stood frozen, hidden behind lockers, the world still continues to move as you watched the two of them clean up the grams on the floor. Soft chatter being exchanged by the two of them, laughter pouring from her mouth, and chuckles from his. You needed to look away, or at the very least approach them, you knew this. You were a hero, you’ve never had issues moving before, but right now, when you needed to be your own hero, you failed to advance. 

Their conversation was not understandable to you with your heartbeat roaring in your ears, but it soon disappeared. You watched with bile rising up to your throat as the girl pressed her hands to Shouto’s cheeks, her smile beaming and bright, and Shouto’s ears turning scarlet red. Her lips connected with Shouto’s, and your world went silent.

Oh.

Undeserving tears pricked at your eyes, and Shouto’s hands pressed against her hands. But you’d seen more than enough.

The box of chocolates dropped from your hands, clattering loudly onto the floor since there was no one but the three of you there. But before the two of them could see who was there, question who was there, you were gone.

There was nothing except a box of chocolates, with a letter written for the man who held your affections.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

Dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a tank, you sat with your classmates in the shared space. Your knees were tucked under your chin, the droning sounds of the rom-com filled the room. Everyone besides Shouto, Midoriya, and Bakugou were here, and those with a significant other were sitting and enjoying this night in together.

Valentine’s Day was a joke.

Your nose scrunched at the way the girl and the guy of the movie began to passionately make out, their surroundings forgotten because their love was too strong. How indecent.

Rolling your eyes, you grabbed another handful of popcorn and ate it, your eyes filling up with tears when your mind wandered to earlier. You had no reason to cry! You weren’t fast enough, brave enough, or important enough to win Shouto’s affections. 

“Oh, they’re back,” Shouji spoke, his head turning towards the entrance of the dorm. Your heart stopped, and you sink further into the couch, praying that someone’s lover had a quirk that would let the couch eat you. The movie was promptly paused, and as soon as the three most chaotic people in the class walked in, they were swarmed.

Yelling and screaming filled the room. People were arguing about who knows what, and presents were being given to the boys from the girls. There was no saying what was happening, only that you were the only one not greeting them. You felt pathetic, there were only a few weeks left of school, and you were never going to confess, how stupid. Standing up, you shoved your hands into the pockets of your sweatpants before heading to the staircase; you didn’t want to stay here anymore. Not if you would cry at seeing Shouto.

He was happy, so you would be happy for him.

With the loud conversations taking place, and your classmate’s oblivious natures, no one noticed when you slipped into the staircase and disappeared back to your room. 

Turning on the lights, your room felt mockingly bright. There was nothing new or out of place. But the wall by your desk was filled with a bunch of photos that had stirred you to confess in the first place. Pictures of you and Shouto, the two of you smiling and talking, candid and posed photos littered the wall almost in the same amount as the pictures with the girls. 

Your fingers grabbed onto the photo booth film, the four photos that had you in the dumbest of poses with Shouto lingering gaze pressed into you, except for the last one where you had caught him staring, and it looked as if you two were lovers. But that wasn’t the case, he had promptly looked away, leaving the booth.

You were nothing but a stupid girl in love with a man who was leagues better than you.

There was a soft knock on your door, and your fingers pressed away, fallen tears from your cheeks. God, why were you so emotional. Walking quickly to the door, you expected to open it to Momo or Iida, whoever had noticed your disappearing number first. A smile graced your features, and you swung open the door.

“Sorry! I needed -- oh.”

Shouto stood outside your door, his face smudged with dirt and his right hand behind his back. Your smile tightened immediately, and you tilted your head, hoping he wouldn’t notice the difference. Why was he here? Did he care?

“You weren’t downstairs, and since I was coming up to change, they asked me to check on you,” Shouto breathed, his eyes looking down, avoiding your gaze too. 

Your shoulders deflated, and you made an agreeable noise, your head nodding.

“Yeah, um, I needed to get my socks,” you lie.

Shouto nodded too, his eyes dropping to your feet that had no socks on it.

“Okay… I’m going to change, I’ll see you back downstairs?”

You nod your head, your eyes falling to the wall behind Shouto, “Yeah! Um, see you there.”

Shouto nodded again, but he didn’t move. So there the two of you stood, staring at each other, neither one of you moving, yet the both of you knowing that you needed to move before the entire class came for you both. But you wanted to ask about the girl, about who she was, if it was serious? But would that make you feel better? Your gaze fell while you contemplated knowing this information.

With your gaze leaving him, Shouto turned to move, a small sigh escaping his mouth.

“Who is she?” You blurted, your eyes focused on him with intensity and fear. “That girl, uh, your girlfriend?”

Shouto froze, his eyes confused, and his head tilting, “My girlfriend?”

You nodded, your stomach-churning, “I saw you kissing a girl today.”

It hit him then.

“You saw that?” He asked, his eyes wide and face overcame with a blush.

Your mouth was dry, and you wanted to both throw-up and cry, but you nodded. Your heart hammered in your chest, the palms of your hands sweaty and clammy despite your pleading mind for it to stop. 

“Yeah…”

“Y/l/n, that was--”

Your hands came up, the bile in your throat returning, “You don’t need to explain it to me, she was cute! You two look cute together!”

Shouto’s eyebrows scrunched, his mouth shut as something finally unleashed within you, forming nothing but word vomit.

“I can’t say anything for it, I’m happy for you! Truly I am happy that there’s someone out there that loves you, and you love them back! I mean, I was trying to approach you at your locker, but she beat me to it, which is my fault! And I was there because I was going to confess, which again was my fault for not doing it! I just… just this once, I wanted to be important to you the way you are to me! Because I have these feelings for you, Shouto, and I don’t know what to do with them anymore. I can’t have you because you obviously like someone else, and that’s fine! I was too late, or whatever, but…” your fingers trembled, and you fisted them at your chest. Silent tears fell from your face, and you finally met his gaze. “I’ve been trying for the past two years to confess to you, and it’s shitty of me to finally be able to do it when you found someone you like, but I’m in love with you.”

Shouto’s eyes were wide, his hand that had been hidden behind his back finally pulled before you, and revealed the box of chocolates you had dropped earlier today. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, handing you the box of chocolates, and your throat tightened, the envelope was opened, obviously read. “I--”

“It’s okay,” you interrupt him, taking the chocolates back, your heart crashing into your stomach. The tears in your eyes burned your skin, and your spout of broken courage was now gone, it vanished, and you felt hollow.

“You didn’t let me finish,” Shouto groaned, his hands raking through his hair. Your eyes met his frustrated gaze, and his hand shoved your box of chocolates onto the floor again, his hands taking yours in his. “I’m not good with emotions, I know that. I’m emotional, but I don’t know… simple things. Fuyumi-nee had been helping me out for ages, but it’s been years, and I thought she needed a break. So I sought out help from Suki because… I don’t know, someone said she was good with things like this.”

Your eyes blinked, as Shouto’s thumb traced the back of your hands.

“I’d been trying to figure out how to deal with my emotions for you because they were so damn annoying! I couldn’t figure out why I wanted to know everything about you, why I needed to sit with you during lunch, why I enjoyed coming over to your room before sleeping even though I was exhausted? It just didn’t make sense to me, and I needed more… help. Suki seemed to think my problems were about her, and she kissed me today. But I don’t like her! I’ve never liked her, because shit, y/n, I’m in love with you too.”

They say love was magnetic, that it drew people in, making everyone a better them. For years you never believed it, why would you? But there was something in the air, something that made you ignore the tears pouring down your face.

Your hands left his and found a home on the collar of his shirt; Shouto’s placed his on your waist.

Despite the tears on your face, his face was drawn to yours, and his lips found yours. The two of you walked into your room, stepping on the chocolate box, and your lips familiarized with each other, greeting and pulling each other in. There was the click of the door and had you two been listening carefully, maybe you would have heard the hushed screams of your classmates.

“I love you.”

[soccerbites]

tea party mademoiselle, JJ Maybank

masterlist in bio

a.n: i posted this a few months back so if you think it's familiar that's probably why :) english is not my first language so i apologize in advance for any mistake.

words count: 2,1k

warnings: maybe a little cursing??? but i think not.

(not my gif if it's yours please tell me so i can give you credits)

You woke up by someone jumping in your bed and instantly remembered the promised you had made the night before your mum about taking care of your little sister that day. She had to do double shifts at work, meaning she would be out from seven a.m until around nine p.m.

"Lena stop" you told the five years old girl and she obeyed to your order, sitting next to you where you were laying.

After looking at your phone and noticing it was almost nine a.m you asked her if she wanted to have breakfast, to what she replied with a yes, filled with excitement because she loved your french toasts.

While you two were enjoying the flavorsome food you had prepare, your phone started buzzing and the name of JJ appeared on the screen, you answered the call.

"pretty girl" your friend said through the speaker.

"how you doing gorgeous?" you decided to follow his little game that after all the years of friendship was a completely normal thing between you two, flirting all the time was like the signature of your personal bond, making everyone think JJ and you were involved in something more personal and intimate; which was not close at all from reality.

"our plans for today still on your agenda?" JJ asked, you could tell he was eating due to the weird way he was talking and also your friends had this bad habit of chewing really loud and it made you go insane, but it didn't matter when you recalled on how you were supposed to pick him up and spend the day at the beach together.

"oh shit-" you started but he interrupted you.

"i knew you would forget traitor ass bitch" he didn't sound mad, in fact he was laughing.

"i'm so so sorry Jay" you began talking with your hand on your forehead while the little monster in front of you was watching you, "my mom is doing double shift at work today and i promised to take care of Lena, i'm so so sorry".

"wait, you are with Lena right now?"

"yes, she is looking at me right now, in a malicious way, sometimes she scares the hell out of me" JJ laughed at what you said.

"put me on speaker i wanna talk to her" you could feel how he was smiling on the other line, JJ loved Lena and she loved him, your sister even told you once how she had a crush on him, even though she pissed you off most of the time, it was adorable.

"k", you pulled the phone away from your ear and pressed the button, "someone wants to talk to you" you said to her and then placed the electronic gadget between you two so both could hear him.

"hi princess!" your friend greeted Lena and you saw how her were flooded with joy when she distinguished JJ's voice, "you ok over there?" he asked after a few seconds without any answer, your little sister was shocked.

"Lena! say something to him!" you laughed at her priceless reaction.

"i can't, i'm nervous" she 'whispered' but you knew very well that he had heard her.

"why?" you asked Lena just to mess with the poor little girl.

"he is too cute! you know i like him" her face was close to be red as a tomato, "you talk to him! he is your boyfriend!".

"you know he is not my boyfriend silly kid!" she looked at you deadly in the eyes, "fine fine, i'll talk to him" you brought your phone closer to you but the speaker was still on, "Lena can't talk right now JJ" you glanced at her, she was pointing at the bathroom, "She's on the bathroom right now" with a smile on her face she pulled her thumbs up, indicating you were doing alright.

How the fuck a five years old can be like that?

"oow, that's too bad! i wanted to ask her if she would like that i come over and play with you guys!" JJ and you knew exactly what you were doing, and both loved it.

"shit man" your sister opened her eyes wide open and started moving her head up and down very fast and drastically, "but, i'm sure she would love that you came" you said after getting her message.

" i don't know, i think she hates me-" JJ couldn't finish talking 'cause Lena yelled.

"NO JJ I LOVE YOU PLEASE COME TO MY HOUSE" you held back a laugh.

"oh Lena, there you are!" she was sitting on the floor with her hands over her mouth, not believing what she had just screamed, drama queen just like you, "if you ask me like that i can't say no, i'll be there by midday with food to eat".

"see you Jay"

"see you girls" he hang up and you smiled at your sister who's mouth was wide open.

Waiting for JJ was life-threatening when Lena didn't stop running around the house while howling around the house "JJ is coming here! JJ is going to play with me!", at the beginning was funny and sweet, but after almost two hours of hearing it you wanted to kill her cold-blooded style.

The knock on your door sounded like angels melody entering your ears, your little sister ran towards the door and when you arrived there she had already opened it and let JJ get inside.

"Lena! what if it was a murderer?" you complained for her actions, but she just ignored you and turned to face JJ.

"JJ you have to promise me one thing" she spoke as one of her fingers got close to JJ's face, "you will play with me and not just kiss my sister!" she said extremely serious about it.

"it will be hard not to 'cause she looks beautiful today but i promise you i will not" the blonde expressed as he handed you a greasy brown bag, which you assumed contained the food he said he was going to bring, and winked at you, making you roll your eyes,

"i knew it! JJ is your boyfriend! you were lying to my Y/N!" your dramatic and innocent sister yelled at you.

"No kid, he is messing with you, we are just friends" you replied to her laughing it off.

"I WANT JJ TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND!" Lena started crying an ran to her room.

"five years old and she's already a drama queen just like her big sis" your best friend scoffed.

"go after her you blondie king" you ordered while setting the table to eat.

"why me? she's your sister" JJ complained

"because she loves YOU way more than she loves ME, besides, you started this, you fix it" you said as placing glasses for the three of you.

JJ used his beauty features to persuade Lena to eat.

Lunch went by fast, lots of laughs and jokes included. The golden boy and you love to mess with your little sister.

You were playing UNO in the living when suddenly the tiny monster stood up full of excitement.

"I have an idea!" she happily said.

"what is it princess?" JJ asked, his angelic blue eyes were focused on the cards held by his hands, thinking about which one throw and deciding over a plus two, thing that made you lift your middle finger and picked up two from the little mountain over the table.

"we're going to bake cookies!" the boy and you looked up to her with a frown on your faces.

"why?" you asked.

"why not?" JJ replied, it was pretty obvious he just wanted to piss you off.

The three of you followed an easy recipe your mom always made on weekends. When you finally introduced the tray filled with the raw cookies the kitchen was a mess, flour everywhere and some cookie dough was sprayed all over the mount kitchen from when JJ picked you up and spun you around.

Five minutes before they were done you told them to go and play or something like that, giving you time to make some coffee and clean a little bit.

You walked into the living room and what you found was the most amazingly cute thing you had seen in your short life. JJ and Lena were sitting in the floor around the little table you were playing cards, unless that now it was filled with plastic mugs and plates. Your little sister had her Rapunzel dress on and the blonde boy was wearing a silver crown with fake amethysts on it and around his neck a pink and purple boa. You decided to appreciate the scenario for a few more seconds, JJ was faking drinking from his cup and Lena was saying something to him that you couldn't hear because you were to immersed into how great your best friends was with kids.

"what are you two beautiful kids doing?" you asked while walking towards them.

"it's a tea party mademoiselle you have to talk properly" JJ scold you.

"oh! i'm so sorry! it was very inconsiderate of me! i brought some tasty cookies to share with you" Your sister gave you a similar boa to the one that JJ was wearing but yours was electric blue and your crown was actually a flowers one.

It was almost seven p.m and after lots of begs and promises you gave up and let Lena and JJ do your make up.

The little girl went running to her bedroom to find her 'products' as she called them and you took advantage of being alone with JJ and told him what you had thought about earlier.

"JJ" you called him and he looked at you, "you are great with kids, you will be an awesome dad" on his face appeared the biggest smile of them all, you knew how much what you were saying meant to him due to everything he had gone through with his dad. He told you multiple times before how he was afraid of ending up being like his dad, but after today you were sure there was no way the pretty boy that was in front of you ended up that way.

"Thank you Y/N it means that you think of me that way" you smiled to him, almost letting an i love you slip from your mouth.

"WHO'S READY FOR THIS?!" Lena screamed.

"Let's get to it" you said, still looking at JJ.

"And JJ" he turned his head, now facing the girl, "i'm doing your make up too"

"Of course you are princess! i want to be as beautiful as Y/N is!"

The whole day was just perfect, you had no words to describe how happy and delighted you felt.

When your mum arrived JJ left. Lena told her everything and she was amazed with the boy, it was a side of him that no one, not even you had seen before and it was a lovely one.

You were turning off the lights of your room when someone entered your room, your mom.

"i do not really know what is happening between you and JJ but, from what you guys told me he was the best today" she smiled at you "so i would reconsider the 'no pogue on pogue macking' rule you told me about and finally leave the just friends aside, it's pretty obvious you two like and love each other in other ways than that" she closed the door without giving you the chance to answer.

The screen of your phone lighted up when you got a text from the boy.

- i was thinking about what you said about me being a good dad, you will be an awesome mom too, but i don't want to have kids if it's not with you, whatcha say?

You were shocked by what he was saying.

- i'm pretty sure that for that to happen there are lots of steps ahead ;)

- like what?

- idk, asking me out first? a kiss?

- my precious Y/N would you do me the honor of going tea partying again? this time just the two of us.

- i'll be delighted JJ Maybank

- and what about letting me kiss you at that tea party?

-it'd be a little inappropriate but i might give in

-god you have no idea of how happy you make me pretty girl.

- you too golden boy

[tuanhood]

delta

pairing: professional frat!jackson wang x reader

genre: lot of fluff, pining from afar, professional frat

warnings: none

word count: 3,700+

summary: when you joined your school’s co-ed professional frat all you had wanted was to get valuable business connections and resources that could help you in your future career. you really didn’t think you would end up with a huge fat crush on mr. popular. 

a/n: soooo this one is a little different because I know everyone always writes fics about jackson being the guy who throws the party or the kinda party boy type so I wanted to do something less expected and lil more soft. also this is unedited and lowkey a mess but :) yeehaw a post.

lambda | alpha | gamma | kappa | theta | sigma

You weren’t sure whether to scream or cry.

All you knew was that you wanted Jackson Wang. Badly.

Most of the girls that tended to crowd around him simply fell at his feet for his ridiculously good looks – which you had to agree was true – but you wanted more than just that. You wanted everything that Jackson was and is. His looks, his sense of humor, his kindness and his brain. You had been addicted to him since you joined Delta Sigma Pi at the beginning of the school year and you had to do something before you overdosed.

It hadn’t been your intentions to fall so head over heels for someone who you had mostly admired from afar and talked to in passing, but you really couldn’t help it. You had become a part of Delta Sigma Pi only for the possible connections it could bring you in your future. If you had wanted to join something more social you would have rushed a sorority like some of the girls in your dorm Freshman year. 

In fact, you were pretty against everything the Greek system stood for and advertised, but when you had heard of co-ed professional fraternities that aimed to help students make connections in their chosen profession and encourage advancement, you changed your mind. Instead of an organization that prided itself on binge drinking and toxic behavior, you joined Deltasig – a business fraternity for male and female students that centered on “professional” activities and fundamentals.

Of course, there were still “social” gatherings amongst the conferences, workshops and service activities that filled most of the members’ schedules. The social events were never really your thing – you’d much rather focus on advancing your future then drunk on a dance floor and squished in between two of the brothers you took a startup workshop with. You started to avoid and skip that aspect of Deltasig until you had taken notice of Jackson.

To be completely honest you had noticed Jackson long before you started getting little butterflies in your stomach every time you were in a room with him, but it wasn’t until two months into the school year that things changed.

You had shown up rather early to one of the weekly meetings – finishing class an hour before and not wanting to go all the way back home, then back up to campus. You had settled down at one of the tables and decided to take out your sketchbook to kill some time, not expecting anyone else to show up until at most thirty minutes before the meeting start time. With your hectic schedule this year and a heavy class load, it wasn’t often anymore that you could find time to work on your clothing sketches. It was your dream to have your own fashion label and company – an avenue where you could be creative through designing and also be a ball busting career woman with her own business to run. You hoped joining Deltasig would help you there.

It wasn’t until you had finished the shading of a winter coat that you realized you weren’t alone.

“Nice design.”

The deep voice had startled you – so much so that your pencil had fallen from your grasp and made its way to nearly the other side of the room. “Shit. Sorry about that,” you looked up from the table to be met with probably the brownest eyes you had ever seen. Your minimal encounters with Jackson before hadn’t prepared you for this up-close moment where all you could focus on was every little detail on his perfect face, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Immediately, you positioned your eyes down and back to the sketchbook not wanting to creep him out at how much you apparently now loved staring at him.

“Totally fine,” you mumbled, still not daring to look back at him. You had heard so many girl – not just in Deltasig but all over campus talking about how mesmerizing Jackson Wang was. Legend has it that once you make direct eye contact with him, you’re placed under an unbreakable spell and become his forever. That kind of talk had always made you laugh. How could a human being – just a person has the capabilities to make another human being feel that way? Maybe it was because you had never been into the social partying thing or really ever had time to date due to your focus on designing clothes, but you couldn’t understand it. That was until that day.

More silence had settled between you and Jackson. You figured that by the way you were reacting, he probably thought you were rude. Somehow in your mind you had comprehended that maybe Jackson hating your guys would actually help you. If he didn’t like you then he would ultimately spend less time around you, therefore you would no longer have to feel whatever it was you were feeling as a result to being around him for less than two minutes.

“Let me get your pencil for you,” it was like you couldn’t make use of your body properly. As soon as he said it, you found your head whipping up to look at him go to the spot where your long-forgotten drawing utensil had landed. Your brain had repeatedly said “no look away” as Jackson leaned down to grab it, but your head remained stagnant in its place, eyes fixated on his back and the way his shoulder muscles moved.

Luckily you found yourself snapping out of the Wang induced trance as he stood up and turned back to return the pencil. To you it felt like you were being obvious and acting like a complete lunatic, but to sweet clueless Jackson he thought nothing strange of it.

“Here ya go. Sorry again,” Jackson smiled as he placed the pencil down on the table near the sketchbook, “you’re really good by the way. Is fashion design the reason why you joined?”

As much as you had wanted to respond to him, your mouth felt dry and your stomach churned in anxiety, afraid of saying the wrong thing. Instead, you nodded in response and despite your clear hesitations in conversing with him, Jackson smiled once again, “well that’s awesome. We’re really happy to have you in the frat Y/N.”

That was the last thing he had said to you before heading to his seat to also wait for other members to show up and start the meeting. The fact that Jackson Wang had knew your name made you want to blush and hide under a rock all in the same moment.

Ever since then you tried to push down your feelings for Jackson. You had heard crazy things about him – that he was very much into the small “social” part of Deltasig and even partook in a partying life outside of the org. That life wasn’t necessarily for you and that gave you more reasons to shove your daily fantasies of you and Jackson married with two children and successful companies out of your mind.

Despite all that talk of the kind of life Jackson led, you couldn’t ignore the way he acted at meetings and frat events. The way he would always encourage whoever had the floor to share an idea or concern, the way he would make sure to laugh twice as hard at someone’s joke if no one thought it was funny and especially the way he carried himself during workshops. He went from kind and alluring goofball to professional businessman. You loved a man with duality.

Then you started going to the Deltasig mixers and no longer could you ignore your feelings. It was all downhill from there.

They weren’t the average frat party where hundreds of people would show up and overall chaos would occur. Instead, the parties were more on the scale of just friends getting together to have a good time. Discovering that notion made you feel more open and comfortable in this kind of setting and you told yourself that was the reason you started going. Not because Jackson would always be in attendance.

You tried to be the average partygoer, but every time you would find your eyes drifting over to Jackson who was always in the middle of telling a story, dramatically using his arms to emphasize certain points. The smile he would get on his face when the person he was talking to would nod and laugh along made you feel even more sucked in. You weren’t even apart of the conversation but you felt Jackson’s charisma and just overall goodness in every part of you.

Then at a certain point during the party – every single time – you swear you could sense Jackson looking at you. You never look to see if you’re right and you’re unsure of what scares you more – being wrong or being right.

And now as you stood here, at probably the seventh Deltasig social you had been to, you once again watched the countless other girls in your frat fawn over Jackson. The girls obsessing over him and trying to get his attention wasn’t a new thing, after all this was the seventh time you were experiencing it. Only this time it was getting to you a lot more than before.

It was mostly being caused from the fifth – or was it the sixth? – “special” mixed drink Mark had made you in the kitchen.

“I don’t know I just throw in whatever sounds like it would be good,” he had said.

That had been good enough for you.

“Let me know if you decide to go for the MBA, my dad’s on the board of admissions at Northwestern and could totally help. Anything for that extra edge, right?”

It’s difficult to ignore how loud Hana is trying to sell her connections to Jackson. As if that’s what’s going to make him interested in her. Why would you want to be with a guy if all he liked about you was the fact your dad could write him a cushy letter of recommendation? She’s not the first however, and she’s certainly not the last.

Jackson smiled at her and you can’t help but smile in return from across the backyard. You’ve identified practically every different type of Jackson Wang smile and based off the way his mouth stretches across his face along with his eyes fixated downwards, it’s the “I’m smiling just to be nice” smile. It makes you satisfied.

“I’m good for now, but I’ll definitely let you know if anything changes. Thanks Hana, you’ve always been so helpful.” It amazed you how he could be so genuine with everyone about nearly everything. It certainly didn’t fit the picture of the Jackson who apparently always parties. But what did you know?

Hana smiled once more at Jackson before she cut her losses and headed back into house. You waited to see who the next contestant would be to try their tricks on Jackson. You watched and watched, looking at Jackson and surveying his every move. It wasn’t long before you realized that you had been staring at Jackson for an unfathomable amount of time – a clear sign that the alcohol had hit you. You didn’t drink ever and it felt like the effects of Mark’s special mixed drinks had come all at once.

“Y/N are you okay?”

It felt like you were getting lost in trance after trance, as though you couldn’t focus on one thing entirely. Your thoughts were so scattered you didn’t even notice Jackson’s approach.

“Y/N?”

Since you had started coming to the Deltasig socials you had never directly spoken to Jackson. Sure, during meetings and workshops there would be a word or two that would be exchanged between the two of you, but never a real conversation. Those were also under more professional circumstances and even though this was still a “professional frat” event, it didn’t have the same implications.

Blinking, you snapped out of your daze and looked at Jackson on your side, “y-yeah. I’m fine… just- why does it seem like I’m not okay?” Rather than the teasing tone you wanted to convey; you came off as genuinely concerned for yourself. Which was… good?

He sipped from the red cup he was holding and you feel yourself lose focus once again – this time on his pink heart shaped lips. “You were just kind of staring at me… for like a long time.”

Sober you would be embarrassed, but drunk you smiled at his words. Despite staring – something that was weird – Jackson still made you feel comfortable, like it wasn’t a strange thing to do.

“Oh yeah sorry. I was just enjoying the view,” you almost want to bite your tongue at how candid you are, but you figured that the Jackson that everyone knows and loves would just smile and shrug it off like he always does.

Instead you ended up being surprised, “oh really… and what view is that?”

You swear that the alcohol is playing with your mind, because even if Jackson is saying that to you, then it certainly can’t be in the tone that you think it is. It was hard to distinguish what was real and what was in your head.

“Just you,” drunk you is very surprising, but you kind of liked her.

You tried to read Jackson’s face, but for once you couldn’t. Instead of one of the smiles you had memorized and etched into your brain, you were taken aback to be met with Jackson’s blank face. For someone who was always smiling, it made you feel like you had whiplash at his out of character demeanor. “Y/N… I think you’re drunk.”

You were drunk? Okay yes… maybe you were, but after spending the party staring at Jackson and all of these months watching is every move it was clear that you were drunk on more than just alcohol. You’ve been drunk for months and right now was the tipping point.

“No. YOU’RE drunk.” You couldn’t believe that out of all the things you could say in response, you had chosen the one where you accuse him of being drunk. Jackson furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and looked down at the cup in his hand, “that would be impossible considering the fact that I don’t drink.”

Now you were the one left confused. After all the things you had heard surrounding Jackson, him not drinking didn’t really match with that, “are you sure?”

A smile stretched across his face and he lets out a little laugh. Your heart warms when you realized it’s one of his better smiles – his “that’s so funny, please tell me more” smile. If you had to spend the rest of your life seeing that smile, you’d never have a reason to be upset ever again.

“I’m sure I don’t drink alcohol.”

Your eyes widened at his reveal, “what? You don’t drink? The Jackson Wang? Party animal?”

It’s then you notice that most everyone else has left the backyard to go inside. The table that had once been full of drinks and surrounded by groups of people was suddenly cleared and deserted. You could still make out a hum coming from inside the house where people were still continuing the kickback, but from the empty backyard you suddenly felt so removed from it all.

Jackson takes a step closer to you, and frowns. At this point your mind is too hazy to analyze what kind of frown it is. Whether it’s a genuine frown or one of Jackson’s pouty frowns he wears when he gets teased by his friends, “Party animal? Where’s that coming from?”

You shrugged, “it’s just what I’ve heard… ya know through the grapevine.”

“Well I’m definitely not a party animal, so let’s clear that up now.”

“I just thought since everyone always-” you began, but he abruptly cut you off seeming a bit annoyed – something you hadn’t seen from him before, “Well not everyone knows what I’m actually like. They just make assumptions, I guess… I didn’t think you were like that though.”

The way he says the last part isn’t out of anger or annoyance, instead he sounds disappointed which makes you feel even worse. You grow quiet, your head beginning to hurt – unsure if it’s from Jackson’s reaction or the alcohol, you crouch down to the ground and place your head in your hands.

Jackson crouches down beside you out of concern and you’re barely able to make out his question of whether you’re okay or not. All you hear is an annoying ringing sound and Jackson and the yard in front of you begins to spin.

“I’m never drinking again,” you mumbled mostly to yourself, but you hear Jackson chuckle.

You feel yourself freeze and the ringing go away when Jackson reaches forward to tuck a strand of hair behind your hair, “you probably shouldn’t have had any of Mark’s drinks. They’re known to be lethal.”

“How did you know I had Mark’s drinks?”

This time it’s Jackson’s turn to freeze, his cheeks heating up, “just… took notice I guess.”

Jackson Wang had noticed you? You knew that he was attentive, the caring kind of guy who always looked after his friends, but this was different. It made the world stop spinning and your headache magically disappear as if you had been granted some sort of clarity.

You felt words on the tip of your tongue that could embarrass yourself further in front of Jackson. So much so that it could drive you to drop out of Deltasig and kiss your hopes and dreams of making connections in the business world goodbye. But the haze of the alcohol and Jackson’s big brown eyes right in front of you provoked you to let the words out.

“I always notice you Jackson.”

As soon as the words are out in the open, you look down at the ground not wanting to meet Jackson’s gaze, just as you had the day, he caught you drawing in your sketchbook. The silence that looms between the two of you feels heavy as it’s not often that Jackson’s left speechless. Even in awkward situations he always has something to say or a way to break the tension. You had seen it countless times before with all of the groupies in the frat that hang around him, so why now did he have nothing left to say?

You cleared your throat, “anyways… maybe I should get going since I’m drunk and all…” Despite your words you made no effort to get up off the ground, instead you felt yourself nervously tug at the grass around your feet still waiting for a word from Jackson.

Finally, after what felt like forever you felt like you could breathe.

“Is it the same way that I notice you?”

You know what he means, you know exactly what he means and it makes your heart stop. Your fingers leave the newest tuft of grass that you’ve pulled out of the ground and look back to Jackson. You’ve never seen him look so small and shy before; the alcohol makes you want to wrap your arms around him. Nodding at his question, you see a smile appear on his face. A smile that you haven’t seen before, one that you haven’t memorized and analyzed.

He licks his lips, “Y/N… I’ve never really been interested in parties or these stupid socials… I only really started going because I thought you would be there. I wanted to come up to you so many times, but… I just chickened out. I know we don’t know each other that well, but ever since you joined Deltasig I can’t get you out of my head. I only joined the frat to keep in mind what’s really important to me – my future – and I never thought much about making friends or,” he paused, “dating… It just wasn’t on my mind. But then I met you and I don’t know what it is… whenever I’m in a room with you I can’t stop looking at you. Ugh, that probably sounds psychotic, doesn’t it?”

You’re hanging on every word of his confession and soon find yourself laughing when he reaches the end. This entire time you had thought Jackson was this super cool, unattainable guy who paid you no mind. That he was the kind of person who was nice to everyone and had an aura to him that caused him to be labeled as one of the members of Deltasig that loved to party. But that was all wrong… Apparently, he was just like you.

“Are you laughing because you find me creepy or is it because of the alcohol?”

When you finally catch your breath, you fan yourself feeling hot from your intoxicated state and the laughter that had consumed you, “actually neither. I’m laughing because I’ve felt the exact same way.”

His face lights up and you once again catch a glimpse of that new smile. It makes you position yourself closer to him, leaning in until you can feel his breath and he can hear your heartbeat.

Just as you lick your lips and are about to close your eyes, you feel him move his hand forward to brush your hair out of your face for the second time of the night. Jackson looks at you with such a fondness that he almost convinces you that you’re a fragile doll that needs to be protected.

“I really really want to kiss you… but not while you’re drunk.” His words make sense, but they cause you to pout. You wanted his lips on yours as soon as humanly possible.

Jackson looks at you shyly once again, “can I walk you home instead?”

You felt like this was the beginning of something, the beginning of something so big and so important that never seemed fathomable before. All you had really wanted was for Jackson to look at you the same way you looked at him. It was a simple request that you never thought would be fulfilled, but with your new favorite smile etched on Jackson’s face, you felt a new kind of electricity run through your body.

“I would love that.”

[random-mha-thoughts]

Burden (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x Reader

Anon asked: “yo so for some Todoroki angst, what about his gf breaking up with him because Endeavor had told her to because he didn't want her to get in the way of Todoroki's "purpose" (she does tell him this) which leads to a very depressed Todoroki left wondering what he did wrong and desperately trying to get her back? Could end happily if you want, up to u"

Genre: Angst to fluff

(Submission 2/3 of Todoroki angst from my post a few days ago) 

Word count: 1,993

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ @bunnythepipsqueak

a/n: Legit I’m so tired I almost fell asleep in the middle of writing this, but I wanted to get this out for you guys before the night ended, so I banged it out.  It’s not as intense as Name and it ends happily so I hope you guys enjoy and are left with some fuzzy feelings at the end :3

I wrote this kind of gender neutral soooo yeah, read it as you want to!  Thanks again for the submission anon! I appreciate you!

It hurts to break Todo’s heart.  He’s baby, I just love him so much I wanna protect him :(

Also question, do you guys care if there’s a pic at the top of every post or nah?

From the moment Aizawa told me Endeavor wanted to speak to me, I knew something would go utterly wrong.

"I want you out of my son's life," he ordered bluntly.  "I have big plans for Shouto to become the top hero one day, he doesn't need to be sidetracked by high school romance."

Todoroki had warned me how pushy and controlling his father was, which is why he always kept our relationship somewhat secretive.  I don't even know where or when his father saw us together.  It's shocking, but I can't say I'm totally surprised he's saying it.

"Sir, with all due respect," I'm trying to be polite, but I want to give the man a piece of my mind after all the things Shouto's told me, "Shouto wouldn't appreciate you getting involved in his personal life.  This was a decision he made without you, and I'd say he's happy with it."

Endeavor rolls his eyes and rests his hands on his desk.  "Shouto doesn't know what's good for him.  Besides, I'm sure he only agreed to be in a relationship with you just to rebel against me.  He holds no true feelings for you."

I gape at his statement.  Is he for real?  "I don't know how you could possibly know that, I don't think Todoroki said anything to you about me or his feelings."

The man's turquoise eyes scan me uncomfortably.  "I remember your performance from the Sports Festival.  You barely even made it past the obstacle course round, and the only reason you advanced to the finals was because you happened to be on a winning team.  You even lost your first battle.  Your quirk and your abilities are nothing special."

I clench my fists, rage coursing through my blood.  "Excuse me-"

"Which is why a weakling like you wouldn't be a good match for my son," he continues.  "Think about it.  My son's power is immense, he can stand on his own in a match.  You probably need support from someone else.  He'll eventually grow tired of you and he'll toss you aside for someone on the same level as him."  Endeavor glances at the clock on his desk.  "Now if you'll excuse me, I have another meeting planned."  He rises from his chair and strolls out of the room.  "Give it some thought and I'm sure you'll make the right choice."

I'm left in the middle of his office, shaking and seeing red with rage.  I want to punch and scream in his face.  I don't care if he's some big-shot pro hero, he can takes his words and shove it where the Sun doesn't shine.  How can he talk that way to people so easily? Exasperated (and afraid I'll break something if I stay), I huff out of the room and back to the dorms, mumbling and cursing to myself about all the things I'd like to do to Todoroki's father.

And I hate to admit it, but what he said really gets to me.  My quirk isn't a strong, elemental type like Shouto's.  All I can do is heat things I touch until they melt or burn, including human skin.  I couldn't do much in the Sports Festival except block my opponents by melting the ground beneath them or throwing flaming objects at them.  I've always had a love-hate relationship with my quirk because it was always too destructive or too weak to be a hero's quirk, but I've always tried to use it in offensive ways to help me fight.

As I get off the train, I sigh, Endeavor's words swimming in my mind.  I hate that he might actually be right.  I'm pretty useless.  I can't help Shouto improve himself when he has to worry about constantly building me up and supporting me.  I'd just be a burden to him.

It breaks my heart to know that I'm actually considering going through with this.  Damn it, I can't believe I let Endeavor win.

I trudge into the common room of the dorms.  Everyone's watching TV, eating, or reading.  Shouto turns around from his position near the wall, just observing everyone.  As soon as he sees me, his blank face softens into a smile, making my heart sink.  I hate to break his heart, but it's for the best.

"Hey, where were you?  I was worried for a moment that you wouldn't come back before curfew."  His eyes melt right into mine, displaying nothing but warmth.

My stomach churns.  Aizawa had told me privately, so Todoroki doesn't know I just faced his father.  "My parents needed me to go grocery shopping for them.  They're both out of town, so they didn't get to go before they left."  I bite my lip, dreading what's going to come next.  "Can we...talk outside?"

The fondness stiffens into anxiety and I see his Adam's apple move as he gulps.  "Okay."

Once we're outside, it gets more difficult for me to look him in the eyes because I'm afraid I'll cry, and I have to be the strong one.  I take a deep breath to calm myself, feeling his eyes on me.  Just rip it off like a band-aid.  "I think we should break up."

At first I thought I'd said it too quickly for him to understand, but the way his face falls confirms he heard just fine.  I feel like I've just kicked the most precious puppy in the world, I want to cry in his arms and confess everything that just happened, but I can't.

The confusion and despair mixes in his eyes as he stares at he ground, his eyes flickering back and forth.  "Did I do something wrong?  Please tell me, I'll fix it."

My throat threatens to close up, but I swallow hard.  "It's nothing you did, Shouto.  I just think we might've rushed into this.  We let our feelings get in the way of why we're really here, and it wasn't to get into relationships."  I muster up the courage to stare at him with a hardened look.  "We should focus on our real priorities from now on.  I'm sorry."

Shouto's crestfallen expression kept falling with every word I said and I can't take anymore.  I calmly walk back inside the dorm and head upstairs to my room, about to explode into tears and I can't let anyone see it.  As soon as I shut the door, I break into sobs and collapse onto my knees.  The memory of his face right before I left remains behind my eyelids.  I hate possibly seeing him cry or get angry.  For both of our sake, I'm praying that he gets over it quickly.  We only dated for a few months, he should get over it fairly quickly.

.

He didn't get over it.

Even after almost a week, Shouto never failed to get through a day without boring holes in the back of my head.  He seemed so lost without me even when he's surrounded by his friends.  It got to the point where I decided to start having my lunch in an empty classroom because I would feel like breaking down whenever I meet his heartbroken stare.

There were even a few times where he would come up to me in the halls while I stopped to talk to someone and tried to talk to me, but I had to politely smile and tell him I was busy with the person I was with and then walk away.

It hurts.  It just hurts so much.

But if it means we can both benefit and get stronger without me burdening him, I have to stand my ground.  I started throwing myself into intense training alone.  I'm trying to focus my quirk on emitting heat to things so I don't have to touch them, but I'm not getting anywhere fast with it.

After a few days of frustrating myself, Shouto suddenly bangs the door open in the middle of my training.  At first I want to politely ask him to leave, but the anger burning in his eyes stops me as he marches to stand right in front of me.  I feel terribly small in his presence, I don't even want to meet his eyes.  "What-"

"Why didn't you tell me my father asked to see you?" he asks, his voice dangerously low, like a time bomb waiting to explode.

I feel my face lose all color.  How did he find out?  "Who-?"

"Uraraka told me," he answers before I can finish, fists clenching at his sides.  "I had a hunch there was something wrong.  What did he tell you?"

I'm torn between answering and keeping my mouth shut, incapable of even looking him in the eyes for fear I might fall apart right here.  "N-Nothing," I manage feebly.

"Tell me," the edge in his voice growing.  The room gets hotter and colder at the same time as Shouto's quirk starts releasing out of his control.

I scrunch my eyes shut to hold back tears.  "H-He told me you didn't actually have feelings for me and that you're only dating me to rebel against him," I sniff, "And then he said I'm too weak for you, that I'm nothing special, and you'll eventually get tired of me because I can't hold my own in a battle and you'd rather be with someone with the same ability level as you."  The hot tears finally escape my eyes and run down my face.  "And he's right, isn't he?  I'm just a burden to you.  I'm probably better suited to be someone's sidekick than a hero.  I'm nowhere near the same level as you."

I reach up to wipe my face of my stupid tears when Shouto steps closer and gently wipes them away with his thumbs.  His hands remain there, holding my head between his hands, the familiar gesture making me choke out a sob.  Anger had melted away into understanding and sympathy.  "I don't care about the strength of your quirk or how useful you are in battle.  I care about you, as the person I love.  And I'd never get tired of you."

He plants a soft kiss on my forehead and I collapse into his chest, my arms wrapping around him and gripping the back of his shirt as I let everything out.  His comforting fresh scent calms me down as he pats my back.

"I'm sorry, Shouto," my sobs muffle into his clothes, "I let him get to me.  I was too weak to tell you anything and I thought you wouldn't want me anymore.  I'm sorry I put you through this."

The boy buries another kiss in my hair.  "I knew you wouldn't think of this on your own, love.  You know how much I care about you."

"I know," I sniff again separating from him and wiping my face, "I was stupid.  I made both of us suffer for no reason."

Shouto cradles my cheek with his left hand and I lean into his warm, holding onto his wrist.  "Can we get back together then?  I miss you a lot."  Those mismatched eyes hold more love in them than I can even fathom.  They choke me up so much I can only nod.

His icy hand pulls me in by my waist before sealing our lips together in a sweet reunion kiss.  We move against each other, familiar feelings burst out of us to express exactly how much we missed out on each other in the past couple weeks.

Shouto pulls away just far enough to keep our foreheads still pressed together.  "If my father ever tries to meet you again, you're taking me with you.  I'm not letting him disrespect you like that.  He needs to know his place."

"Okay. don't get so worked up," I kiss his nose, to which he blushes and I giggle.  "Now can you help me with my training now?  I need to catch up with you."

[lipshinee]

Hi, hi ! Let’s go for a request ! So mm ... What about a headcanon of the brothers having a baby with MC ? Are they the one that proposed it or it is MC ? How do they feel about becoming a father ? Nervous, excited ... And how do they act when MC is pregnant ? And when the baby is here ? That kind of cute stuff 🥺. (Sorry English isn’t my first language too) And thank you in advance ✨

Oooh this one is literally SO adorable🥺🥺 All of those turned out so long so I’m really sorry if you wanted smth shorter!! I ended up getting caught in my feelings sksjkLs

It’s a fem!reader so if anyone is uncomfortable by it feel free to pass this post!!

Lucifer

When you announced that you wanted to have a baby with him he was a bit taken aback. The thought of having a kid never really crossed his mind as he already had to deal with his younger brothers.

At first, he firmly refuses the idea. Stating that he wouldn’t have time with all the work he has. But the more MC talked about it the more he actually starts to like the suggestion. You’d talk to him in detail about your dreams of holding in your arms a baby that was the fruit of your love, and soon enough Lucifer would find himself daydreaming about the idea as well.

One day, him and MC were in bed, half naked, and when you reminds him to put a condom on, he shakes his head. «  I don’t think there’s the need to anymore. » You look at him with stars in you eyes, that night was the best sex you ever had.

When you announce your pregnancy, he tries his best to hold back his excitement and would just hold you tightly in his arms. « You’re gonna make such an amazing mother. »

The next few months would be stressful on him, he’d do his best to complete as much as work as possible until his paternity leave while still be there for you. Needless to say, he was doing a great job taking care of you as the challenges of a pregnancy only got more complicated. You’d barely even tell how stressed he actually was because most of the time he’d be the one calming down MC.

While on a meeting with Diavolo, he gets a call from Mammon, he gets a bit annoyed but still excuses himself before picking up. « L-Lucifer?! It’s MC! She’s in labour! Hurry up!! » His mind was racing like crazy. It’s happening? He’s having a baby with the love of his life? He informed Diavolo of the situation quickly before sprinting towards his car.

He would reassure MC and hold your hand the next hours you spent in the hospital while you were giving birth. « Just a few more pushes love, do it for me, do it for our family. » When he saw his daughter, he actually shed a tear. The brothers were so surprised because they’ve simply never seen him cry before. But Lucifer couldn’t care less. The two most important girls in the world were right there and nothing could make him happier.

He would absolutely NOT leave MC or his baby girl’s side for the next months. He would always take care of his baby even when it was your turn. « Just go back to sleep, okay? I’ll go get her myself. »

When it was time to go back to work he even considered telling Diavolo that he was going to take the next year off, but MC quickly stopped him because she knew that he still loved working there. You had to assure him multiple times that you had his other brothers and she wasn’t alone before he obliged.

Mammon

Let’s get real, he probably entertained the idea of having a kid with you within the first month of your relationship, but he wouldn’t say anything to not freak you out.

He would wait about a year or so before joking about it one day even though he was fully serious. « Imagine if we had a kid haha! Just kidding...But imagine. » You would look at him with a smile on your face before jumping in his arms and kissing him. Let’s say the rest of the day was..hot.

The next few weeks you’d do it every single day wherever you were, whether it’d be at home or outside while on a date. When MC comes at him with a positive pregnancy test he cried his balls out for the next hours. « Y-you’re not kidding right?! I’m going to be a DAD?!? » He ended running around the whole house screaming that he was going to be a father. His brothers were happy for the both of you but were also annoyed that Mammon just WOULDN’T shut up about it.

During the whole pregnancy he was an anxious mess and kept smothering you. « Oi! What did I tell you?! If you want to get out of bed you tell me first! You don’t go anywhere without me!! »

He would bring literally ANYTHING you were craving at any time of the day. He would spend all of his money buying the most expensive stuff for his child even though you begged him to stop because for fuck’s sake it’s the third stroller he brought this week.

One day he’s awakened by MC in the middle of the night. « Mammon...I think my water broke! » YOUR WATER WHAT?! He rushed you out of the house while litteraly SCREAMING at the top of his lungs that they were going to the hospital. Like he would waste time to wake every single one of his brothers up! They were all woken up by his screams even though most of them didn’t even understand a word of what he was saying.

The whole drive there he would mumble to himself « Fuck..Okay...This is actually happening...Let’s keep calm!! » While giving birth he probably screamed just as much if not more than MC. He was such a nervous mess he kept walking around the room before the doctors got there doing his best to reassure MC (and himself.)

When he first got to hold his baby boy he cried even more than when he learned about the pregnancy. « O-obviously my baby would look JUST as amazing as his handsome father! » He’d stutter while sobbing. But the image that stuck in his head that day was probably when you held your kid in your arms. He felt like the luckiest man on earth and looking at his little family only reminded him of the happiness she brought into his life.

He would be a good father but would definitely be the kind of parent to learn along the way. When there was anything he didn’t know he would ask you and when you tell him he did a great job he’d grin and say : « What did you expect? Of course the great Mammon would make a great father! »

Leviathan

Oh boy, this man is not a kid person.

A child requires so much time that he would much rather spend on video games and animes.

MC has to be the first one to propose that idea. When you tell him about your hope of having a baby with him one day he quickly turned red. « W-what?! A baby?! But I have so many video games to finish! So many animes to watch! And so little time! » You sighed, knowing full well he would give this kind of response.

You were once cuddling with him while watching a new anime that just came out, he asked you the night before to watch it together and you of course accepted. The plot revolves around this big happy family and you couldn’t help yourself but envy them, because you wanted that with him. « I wish I could have a happy family like this! It’s so not fair. » Using his own phrase against him? How bold.

Leviathan sighed, he knew exactly what you were referring to. And he had to admit, ever since you talked to him about it, he couldn’t help but think about a kid he would teach to play video games alongside with him, or about having nights with the three of you just laying in bed and watching an anime while cuddling. He looked at you before giving a small peck on the lips. His face now red, he replied : « Fine, I guess we can try i-» He couldn’t even finish his sentence and you were already all over him.

Since then, every night after the cuddling session things would get a bit more steamy until one morning while eating breakfast, you end up running to the bathroom and throw up everything you had previously eaten. That was the third time this week, was this a morning sickness? The boys all rushed after you and bombarded you of questions but you could only see your boyfriend, and with tears eyes you stutter : « I-I think I might be pregnant. »

The room suddenly got silent as Leviathan walks towards you and gives you the biggest hug. He didn’t say much that day, the excitement of the news still settling in. As the months went on, he would pick up his game console less and less, his attention now solely on you and the baby growing inside of you. Before you came into his life, he never even thought about missing his anime sessions once, but now they seemed so trivial compared to helping you every day throughout your pregnancy.

He’d be so attentive to your needs, you’d spend hours upon hours suggesting names for the baby (even if he doesn’t understand why you refused the name Ruri-chan.)

You’re in the living room with him and the rest of the brothers since it’s movie night, you feel a sudden contraction and moan lightly but think nothing of it. False contractions happen, right? Well it happens a few minutes later and this one was even more painful. This time you moan loudly and the boys all stared at you with a concerned look on their faces. « W-was that a contraction? » You nod while squeezing your boyfriend’s hand. He’s all red and panicked but tries to compose himself for you.

At the hospital he starts to worry about his competence. What if I’m not a good father? What if I don’t do a good job at raising my own kid? What if I end up disappointing her? His thoughts are all washed away when he feels a hand on his cheek, you could feel him tense up and decided to comfort him. « I don’t know what you’re thinking right now but you better flush them all down the toilets because all of them are wrong. You’re gonna be the greatest father ever, okay? »

While giving birth, he did his very best to not get the panic get to him and tried to help you out the best he could although only half is his sentences were comprehensive. By the end of it he was weirdly just as exhausted as you were. But it was all so worth it, because when his little baby wrapped his tiny hand around his finger he just melted. For a moment he felt like he didn’t have to envy anyone because he had the best little family and nothing could compare to that.

Sometimes he’ll play a game while the baby is sleeping but those times were rare as he prefered taking care of his own child. He would feel really overwhelmed by the amount of love you and the kid give him, he still has to adjust to it as he spent thousands of years loathing himself.

Satan

He may not seem like a kid person, but he’s actually quite fond of them. Although like Lucifer, he never really thought about having a kid.

He’s in the library as always, but this time you were wrapped in his arms as both of you were reading this book about the human world. When the section of kids comes around, both of you start talking about having a child of your own. Neither of you really proposed the idea, it just came naturally to you when reading the book that you both were ready. So you did it in the library. Multiple times.

You checked your calendar multiple times to make sure you weren’t wrong, but you were absolutely certain that you were late. Almost a week late! You thought to yourself, that almost never happens. But you didn’t want to give anyone false hope, so you waited until you did a pregnancy test to confirm your suspicions. That same night, you told your boyfriend you were late. He held your hands tightly and looked at you with the biggest smile, you’ve never seen him this happy! « Really MC?! You’re pregnant? »

From then on, his favourite activity was to read you a bunch of pregnancy books and anything remotely related to kids. Provided you were there, he’d spend hours in the library reading about how to raise a kid (well a human kid, he wasn’t sure whether or not a baby half-human half-demon would be different.) The fact that he had made so much research helped you so much during the pregnancy and you were forever grateful for that. He knows every single thing that needed to be known.

One faithful night you were both sitting in his bed when you suddenly felt a contraction. He immediately reassured you : « Don’t worry too much about it, okay? Contractions have to belayed by less than 4 minutes for it to actually count, otherwise they’re just contractions to prepare your body. » He still took a mental note of the exact hour, and when you had your second contraction this time he was sure this was it.

He grabs the bag full of the necessary equipments and decides to text the group via DDD that they were leaving. He kept holding your hand and whispering sweet words to your ear the whole drive there. His presence was enough to calm you down even though the contractions were getting more and more painful.

When you get to the hospital, it’s the same thing, even though he was in full panic mode he wasn’t showing any sign of it and kept giving you a warm smile while reminding you that everything was going to be alright. Finally the baby arrives and she’s absolutely magnificent, he feels this sudden wave of happiness hit him as he holds his baby girl close to his chest. He cries a bit but was quick to wipe them away before you’d see him.

He’s probably the most caring baby daddy out of all the brothers, he’s easily able to find every solution to any issue concerning the kid and feels like every day he’s learning something new about his precious baby. He holds dear in his heart the image of you singing a lullaby to the baby and he’s grateful that you brought this light in his life that he so desperately needed.

Asmodeus

Honestly? He’s probably going to be the hardest brother to convince. He already gave up such a huge part of his life by being in a committed relationship with you, it would be an even bigger step to start a family with you and he honestly didn’t think he’d ever be ready for that.

You two were simply on a date shopping in the mall when you come across a shop that sells clothes for kids. You coo as you see the tiny shoes that were on display. Asmo found it adorable as well and joined as well but was completely stunned when you talked about how cute your baby would look in that dress. He’d laugh and say : « Darling you know I love you, but would you really want a baby? They’re such a hassle! » You disagree with him completely, and for the next few weeks you keep sending him posts of families and their babies on Devilgram.

He would smile whenever you sent him anything family-related. He got to admit you were really persistent with that baby thing, and he gave it a lot of thought. Yes he never thought he would have a family of his own one day, but he also never thought he’d be in a committed relationship either. But there he was, with you, and you fulfilled his needs in a way that no demon or witch could ever even begin to compare. You changed so much things in his life for the better, and he couldn’t help but have this idea of the the three of you in a matching outfit!

You were doing each other’s skin care routine, as always, talking and gossiping when he suddenly stops and looks at you with a huge smile while running his hand on your thigh. « You know MC...I wouldn’t mind if we started making a baby right now. » What? You were a bit dumbfounded at first, and he had to kiss you to realize that you weren’t dreaming.

His face lit up when you announce to him that you’re pregnant. He pampers you with kisses and one thing led to another... Your hormones and libido were on fire while pregnant for the pleasure of your boyfriend. All he does is buy new clothes for the baby and outfits for all of you, and you can’t believe that this man was once reluctant about the idea of having a kid.

Much like Mammon, he absolutely lost it when you told him that your water broke. He was so impatient, he was finally about to see his baby girl! He kept screaming around that he was the happiest man alive. In the hospital, he was a SOBBING MESS. He couldn’t hold it together and was just so overjoyed. It only got worse when he finally got to see her.

« She’s so gorgeous!! Of course she would be! She looks just like her daddy! » After making sure you were alright, he would spend most of the times taking pictures of you and the baby. He even put one of them as his lockscreen.

He’s so gentle and patient with his girl, he LOVES to pick out little outfits for her that matches his and take tons of pictures afterwards. You’re so happy he’s the father of your kid.

Beelzebub

He’s DEFINITELY a kid person, absolutely adores them.

You were chilling with him in the kitchen, stealing snacks as always when he suddenly asks you : « Have you ever thought about having a kid? » You’re really surprised and don’t know how to respond for a while. « I know, this came out of nowhere... But lately I can’t stop contemplating the idea of having a family with you. I love you so much MC and if you’re not ready I get it, but I want you to be the mother of my child one day. »

You couldn’t believe it, you’ve been having the exact same thoughts lately! You respond « And I want you to be the father of my kid. » He smiles as he lifts you up the kitchen counter and walk up to your room, he kept telling you how much he loved you as he made love to you that night.

When you revealed to him your pregnancy, he couldn’t get out a single word out of his mouth, yet there was so much he wanted to say. He ended up kissing you gently and telling you how happy you make him.

When he brings you food, he always does his best to not eat anything on the way to the house. You always giggle when he stares at the food with saliva dripping down his mouth and end up sharing everything. He never stops following you around and making sure you’re okay when you’re not in bed, he even picks you up sometimes just to be safe.

He must have really good swimmers because when you went to the doctor’s appointment, he happily declared that the two of you were gonna have twins! « Does it run in one of your families? » The doctor would ask but you didn’t respond, you were only looking at Beel after this amazing announcement. Twins! You were gonna have twins!

The rest of the pregnancy went smoothly and you have to thank your loving boyfriend for that. When it was time for you to deliver, you kept freaking out, you were about to give birth to not one, but two babies! However Beel was once again there for you and gently patted your back and reminded you that were gonna do an amazing job. He was there for you the whole time, appeasing you when you felt like you couldn’t handle the pain anymore.

He was next to you, holding his little girl while you were holding your little boy. It was a beautiful sight, and he just couldn’t stop smiling whenever the baby would move around his big arms. How did he get so lucky? He leans in and gives you a kiss on the cheek, he was so thankful to you and he wanted to show it to you right at that moment.

The most loving father there could EVER be. His sweet side reflects so clearly when he takes care of his kids, he adores his big family so much and he shows it through the little actions.

Belphegor

Contrary to his twin, not really a kid person. And can you blame him? Baby boy spends all of his time sleeping, it’s be hard for him to fit a baby in his busy schedule.

When the idea popped into your head, there was no way it was getting out of there. You kept fantasying about a mini-Belph, the single thought of it warmed your heart. And when you suggested it to him, you didn’t expect a laugh as a response. « I can barely take of myself, MC you’re adorable but how do you expect me to take care of another living being? »

You pouted at him for a bit before giving up. He wasn’t ready for it, and you weren’t really gonna force him about it. But you would drop comments here and there from time to time. Belph would glare at you before petting your head. « Still not ready, sweetheart. »

While sleeping in your arms one night, he dreamt about your family, how you all would get in the bed and all nap together under the same blanket and wake up to the tickles of your kid. When he woke up, he felt this weird tingling sensation in his heart and he started fancying the idea of having a baby with you.

A few weeks later, he woke you up with kisses on your neck and when you asked him what he was up to he smirked. « Well to take you up on that proposition of starting a family.. » You were stoic for a few seconds and stared at him with the most loving look on your face.

When you told him you were having his baby, he was so happy he didn’t let go of you for the rest of the day. For the whole pregnancy, you spent most of your time in his room, you loved seeing him sleeping on your chest while his hand was placed on your growing tummy. It was literally your favourite position.

Your water broke one week before the date your doctor gave you! Belph was up in less than a second when you told him the situation, you’ve literally never seen him get up this fast before.

In the hospital he kept trying to keep calm as you screamed in agony. All he could do was squeeze your hand to remind you that he was right there by your side. After a few hours, his baby boy finally came to life, he had such a hard time believing that the beautiful kid that was in his arms was his. He was so nervous about the idea of being a dad, but the emotion that struck him the most was the pure joy he had when knowing you three were going to be a family.

He’s tired literally all the time but that doesn’t stop him from helping you out all the time. His tiredness is all worth it for his baby boy and the love of his life.

[connieswriting]

Nightmares// Fred Weasley

Paring: Fred Weasley x Reader

Request: @iprobablyshipit91​:  “Ahh I could literally request so many Fred Weasley imagines with these prompts! I’ll go for 6, 76 and 79 if that’s okay! Thank you!”  

@seppys-return-to-madness: “62, 45, 15 with fred?”

6: “You can’t die. Please don’t die.”

15: “Are you still awake?”

45: “I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

76: “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”´

79: “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

A/N: I got so many Fred Weasley requests, so I’m trying to pair them up a bit. Thank for them though, and please keep sending them in. I might post a Charlie Weasley imagine soon because I may or may not have a big fat crush on him. Hope you enjoy this request, I wrote everything at three a.m. so I cannot promise it is very good. Anyway, enjoy and I hope this is what you wanted when you made the request! :)

Everything seemed to be falling apart, and quite quickly, as a matter of fact. The walls that had once formed the once awestrucking castle that had been their school, their home away from home, until the past year, now stood before them in ruins. Professors and students, family and friends, all stood side by side, casting spell after spell, protecting, defending the prior peaceful wizarding community. Fred looked around him- Percy was the closest to him. ‘Merlin’s beard. He really is here with us.’ Fred thought, quickly casting a protection spell at a young Gryffindor who had chosen to stay and fight. If you had told Fred a mere twelve hours ago that his older brother would return, turn his back against the Ministry of Magic and apologise, inevitably admitting his mistake, he would have most likely laughed in your face. Chances would be he would even joke about you taking his place in the pranking community.

Percy looked at the twin, throwing him a quizzical look, which Fred understood immediately. ‘He’s right, I have to focus on protecting others and myself, I don’t have time to wonder about other things now.’ Alas, it had been a counterproductive thought- the instant he thought about protecting others he thought about protecting you, specifically. He started thinking about how you were, whether you were still alive or not… But you had to be, right? A wonderful witch like you, the best in your year at both Charms and Defence Against the Dark Arts, you had to be pulling yourself quite well.

(but the death eaters had so much more experience)

You were fine, of course you were. You had been in the Dumbledore’s Army, you knew how to fight

(if you had been forced to face bellatrix, you wouldn’t be able to survive, he knew that)

A scream pulled him away from his thoughts. He realised now that George had joined both him and Percy fighting against the hooded Death Eaters who seemed to only know one single spell. Secretly, he was thankful he was able to at least know where his twin was and how he was doing. Although he would never actually say those words to him, he wouldn’t know what to do if he died. There was another scream that seemed to echo through the entire castle. It was impossible to know if that scream had or not come from you, but that didn’t stop his mind from thinking so.

“(Y/N) is fine.” George shouted from his left. Once again, he had proven that twin telepathy could be real. “She was helping Madam Pomfrey just now, since she has been having so much difficulty keeping up with everyone who has gone in and out of the make-shift infirmary. She was also trying to stop Ginny from going to the battle to fight, although I must say she is failing miserably.” Fred chuckled, more motivated to keep fighting, knowing you were not only thriving, but helping others in the process.

Another spell was cast and the hood from the Death Eater standing in front of them fell, revealing the Minister of Magic.

“Hello, Minister” Percy stated, as he casted another Protego spell. “Did I mention I was resigning?” From a few meters away, Fred was able to make out Harry, Ron and Hermione, all rough-looking but with a smile in their faces, possibly because of Percy’s comment.

“You’re joking, Perce. You’ve got to be joking.” Fred laughed, letting his arm, the one that held the wand, fall to his side, looking at his brother in disbelief. “I don’t think I’ve heard you joke since… Well, since- “Before he was able to complete his sentence, there was a loud explosion, sending him flying away.

He didn’t have time to act, he barely had time to comprehend what was happening. Debris were falling everywhere, some a lot bigger that others. He heard yet another scream, although this one was much closer and much more familiar- Hermione’s, a sound he had, unfortunately, become all too familiar with. Someone pushed him to the side, just as a large piece of wall fell. Much to his dismay, he couldn’t see who his saviour had been, as a cloud of dust filled the air all too quickly, once the wall had hit the floor.

Just as the air had finally been lifted, George had pushed his twin brother to his feet, pulling him back to battle.

“Move it. This thing is far from over, we don’t have time or the privilege, as a matter of fact, to just sit there on our arses!”

In no time, they were both back in full motion, trying their best not to lose anymore focus and just making it out alive. It was harder now, to fight. Fred was exhausted, you were still no where to be found and the battle didn’t seem to be close to an end.

Just as he felt his legs break under his weight from standing up for too long, there was another announcement. Voldemort had given them an hour to collect and treat the people witches and wizards that had not been so lucky, and if during that time Harry Potter did not appear then the battle would recommence. Fred didn’t care about the rest, he only cared about one thing- you, specifically if you had or had not been one of those unlucky people. He went to the Great Hall where the bodies were being rolled in at an alarming pace. Oliver Wood passed by him quickly, not bothering to send a second glance his way, as he carried Colin Creevey in his arms. Fred was made painfully aware of his hammering heart, hoping, nay praying, that he wouldn’t find your body beyond those doors, but rather just you helping.

He felt a hand tighten on his shoulder, turning around to find his older brother Charlie, who gave him a sympathetic smile. “I reckon everyone is alright. There were a few painful casualties, like Tonks and Lupin…” The older stated as they passed by two beds where the couple laid motionless, lifeless, each with a hand sticking out, both barely touching, their faces radiating a calming energy that almost made Fred believe they were just sleeping. He felt his gut clench at the thought of your body laying like this, in this state. “But I think… I hope,” Charlie quickly corrected as they continued to advance through the sea of people crying and holding each other. “That the rest is doing quite alright.”

But something in front of them made Fred second-guess Charlie’s words. His mother was hugging his father, her head buried on his shoulder, Ginny was crying silently, holding Bill’s hand who, in turn, was holding Fleur’s. Hermione was also there, on her knees, next to a bed, shaking her head from side to side, in this belief, with Ron’s arm around her shoulders, his face completely apathetic. Mrs Weasley was the first notice the arrival of her two sons, wasting no time in pulling Fred into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry, Fred. With all the commotion, they were only able to find her body a few minutes ago, and by then it was too late to do anything. Madam Pomfrey tried everything, but she really is just… gone.” Over his mother’s shoulders, he was able to see the body his family was surrounding. He felt his heart sink, the air leave his lungs as he saw your hair lay flat, most of it on the floor, your eyes closed, your face pale, and just like Tonks and Lupin, lifeless.

“No, no, no, this can’t be real, this is not real, it just isn’t!” He rushed to your side, feeling the tears already forming in his eyes. “You can’t die. Please don’t die.” He pleaded taking one of your hand in his, allowing his other hand to run through your face, trying to find any signs of life, even if part of him, knew it was already pointless. He still had to try, he couldn’t bare thinking he wasn’t able to save you, he wasn’t able to spend your last few minutes together, he couldn’t bare to think you were gone and so was your future together. He couldn’t bare to think that was the end of everything.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ginny kneel next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Freddie… I can’t believe it either, but she really is gone…They told me it was during the explosion, she got caught under a wall, I think…” He stopped listening after his sister said, ‘the explosion’, the rest of the words just seemed to be muffled out. You were killed during the explosion, the same one in which someone had miraculously saved him, and he could just put his hands in fire on how that someone had been you. If only George hadn’t pulled him so hastily out of there. If only he hadn’t so foolishly been taken aback because of Percy’s comment and hadn’t gotten so distracted in the first place. If only he had taken everything much more seriously, then maybe you would’ve been there, with him, alive.

“No, that’s- that’s not true. Come on, she’s just sleeping, can’t you see?” His voice cracked with each sentence, the disbelief present in it, as he caressed both your hands and your face a bit more forcefully now. “Come on, love, wake up. You need to wake up, because I can’t do this without you.” His whole body was shaking, trembling in fear. Why did you have to die, why were you the one that had passed away and not him? Why did you decide to save him instead of staying put, alive and well? Before he knew it, a scream erupted from within him.

It was a silent scream, more of a loud cry really, but still he kept at it, he kept silently screaming until he realised, he was no longer at Hogwarts but rather at the Burrow, in his tiny childhood bed which he was now sharing with you. He sat up quickly, looking at your peaceful face, this time he knew you were just sleeping, your chest was rising and falling slowly, a small smile plastered on your face, and he hoped you were dreaming of him.

A dream, that was all it was. A nightmare, really, but still just fiction, you did get caught in the explosion trying to save him, but you were found just in time to be cured. You had been treated carefully and after a few months of recovery, you were good as knew, brighter and livelier than ever.

His hand flew to his face, wiping away all the tears that didn’t seem to stop falling. He turned to you once again, making a bit too much movement, his body still trembling, and he knew if he tried to get out of bed and onto his feet, he would immediately fall. “Are you still awake…” He spoke quietly, trying not to wake you up in case you weren’t.

“Well, now I am. You made such a commotion standing up and turning around, it was impossible not to wake up.” You smiled, yawning, sleepily turning to meet his face. As soon as your eyes met his you stopped smiling. His shirt was covered in tears, his nose slightly red, his face pale almost as if he had just now seen a ghost. “Wha- What happened? Freddie, are you okay?”

He didn’t answer, instead he grabbed your face in his hands, carefully analysing every aspect of it, making sure you were real, making sure you had survived and that had all been nothing but a dream. As soon as he had a confirmation, he pulled you into a hug, before pulling away once again to look at your face.

“Fred, what happened? What are you doing? Why are you crying?”

“I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you were okay, I’m sorry I woke you up.” He continued his forceful tear-wiping, looking the other way, trying to stop you from seeing him like this, so broken, so emotional, so out of character.

“Hey, look at me.” You let your hand rest on his cheek, pulling his gaze towards you. “It’s okay to cry… Do you want to talk about your nightmare?” You questioned as he shook his head quickly. It had been too much, he didn’t want to ever verbalise it, or at least not so soon after. “Okay, we don’t have to if you don’t want to, but just know that I’m okay, I’m here, we’re all here, as a matter of fact, your whole family, even Ginny and Ron. We are all fine. Emotionally? Not so great, but physically we are all amazing. You don’t have to worry about us, specially not me. I have a special talent of pulling myself through really tough times if that means I can go back to you and annoy you endlessly.” He smiled at your joke, as you continued to caress his face with your thumb, wiping some tears. You pulled him in for a quick kiss before getting up.

“Where are you going?”

“We’re going to the kitchen. I’m going to make you some tea and we can both sit in the living room, we can even cuddle if you are in the mood for that, so you don’t have to go back to sleep right away.”

He shot out of bed as well, going up to you and pulling you into a tight hug, almost squashing you in the process. “I don’t know what I would do without you, (Y/N), I really do not. You’re it for me, you’re my whole life, you know that right? You know that I love you?” There was a hint of desperation in his voice. Losing you in a dream had felt far too real, he never wanted to go through something like that ever again. “I can’t lose you, I just can’t.”

“You’re safe now, Freddie, I’ve got you. Just as you got me. We’ve got each other.” You smiled, placing a kiss on his forehead before taking his hand in yours. “Now, come on. I can tell you all about Percy’s adventures with the Gnomes and how Ginny ‘accidently’, or so she says, hit him in the head with one today. That ought to cheer you right up!”

He looked at you once again, a smile playing on his lips. A nightmare, that was all it was. You were there, there with him, still bubbly and full of life. You were unharmed, you were whole, and so was he.

————————

Send in them requests, if you want. You can use the prompt list too :)

[idlecreature]

the buried fic comment from hell (it's so long i'm SO SORRY, I GOT EXCITED)

DEL.. I WASN’T SURE IF IT WAS APPROPRIATE TO LEAVE A LONG ASS COMMENT ON UR BURIED FIC IN PUBLIC….. SO I’M DROPPING IT HERE i’m so sorry in advance this is about to be a mess,, i’m so fucking emotional right now

((the review under the cut is in response to my fic which can b read here))

okay first –

The mental image of tiny gangly Barnabas and Jonah crouched with their hands in the dirt….. is so fucking cute?? I could feel Jonah’s jealousy just burning off of him. You had me right away. Fuck. You know how to open a story and I’m deeply envious, I’ve always struggled with it. Also, you threw in that little hook:

Despite what Jonah believes, there are some things that just can’t be explained in words.

Barnabas’ voice is so fucking good… guh… you know. I didn’t much care about Barnabas in any deep way before I joined the Jonah server and you guys have all just completely GUTTED me, I can’t believe how much I care about this highly-strung bastard,, he is so GOOD. HE’S SO GOOD???? HE’S SUCH A SWEETIE. LIKE. BARNABAS FEELING GUILTY AND HORRIFIED THAT PEOPLE ARE GRATEFUL TO HIM AND WANT HIM AROUND???? AAAAAAAAAA. And the melancholy aspect, too, which I imagine is how Mordechai was able to relate to him, get attached to him… Barnabas being bitter about how useless his tears are while he’s crying anxiously at the prospect that he might not be able to help those families after all…….

All of those scraps of Barnabas’ letter to Jonah made such EXCELLENT transitions, holy hell. Again I am inspired by your storytelling prowess. I am taking notes, for whenever my ability to write longform fic returns from war. This one was my favorite, made my heart clench:

A good world starts with a good person and a few choices that are made with the heart—

He’s so earnest I’m going to weep ;_; Barny.. you can’t make Jonah a better person he’s AWFUL,,

(Side note, super digging that I can indent stuff, block quoting makes this SO much easier.)

Also really digging that Jonah doesn’t have as nice a reputation as Barnabas… Jonah is the bad influence friend lmfao. AND JONAH’S CAT… I LOVE HIM…

And then you delivered a swift blow straight to the religion kink, as promised… “There’s something undeniably old testament about Jonah; the fire and fury of creation, the self-annihilating stare of Lot’s wife.“ LOSING IT I’M LOSING IT… WHAT A WAY OF DESCRIBING HIM God, here I thought I couldn’t possibly be more attracted to this bastard man. I am aghast at myself.

LOSING IT EVEN MORE OVER BARNABAS STACKING TEACUPS ON JONAH’S HEAD???? Why must you make them so fucking cute oh NO this is going to hurt isn’t it. ((This was the note I stuck in the Word doc while I was reading it and I thought I’d leave it as was for your enjoyment))

“Taking cues from your dreams?” Barnabas replies. “You know only the desperately mad do that?” 

“Or desperately inspired—savants and prophets and visionaries.”

And then you continued to try to kill me… Jonah thinking of himself as a prophet……. hhhhh canon-typical overambitious zealotry I’m HERE FOR IT………

“Are you trying to make me angry with you by playing the devil’s advocate?” 

“Just testing you,” Jonah says in his alloyed voice, silver-and-honey-gold. 

Del I cannot stress enough… My religion kink………. It’s been SO VERY ACTIVATED.

“Your morality has only ever been a thin cover for your shame.”

OUCH, JONAH, JESUS

Every bit of their dialogue was so familiar and tinged with bittersweetness and I owe you my entire life… Sincerely. Ugh. Like, how you described Barnabas’ internal angst about it later on – when he’s thinking of Mordechai, and he refers to "his many dog-eared fantasies” about Jonah it just really vividly conjured the thought of he and Jonah having a sort of? Queer solidarity, ESPECIALLY having grown up together. And that makes Jonah’s flash of betrayal at Barnabas not wanting to be SEEN with him that much more agonizing, personally. Like. I’ve had that happen to me more than once in real life. And much as Jonah is a piece of shit who is absolutely manipulating him………. still, ouch. Ouch. (Barnabas’ thoughts on the company Jonah keeps also made me wince. You did an AMAZING job with all of the internalized shame and frantic rationalizations, hooooooboy.)

The Lukases being colorblind is such an interesting piece of lore by the way I love it????? Now I have. Some questions, about Peter. Mordechai’s characterization in this is so fascinating to me. I’m enTRANCED by how you reverse-Uno’d it so that Barnabas was the reason Mordechai lost himself to the Lonely… the power dynamics……. so tasty. Ugh. And all of the sensual descriptions, especially of that first visit Barnabas had at Moorland house?? I didn’t clip any because I would have ended up clipping the whole fucking thing. It was aching, haunting, beautiful, holyshit. Their romance is somehow more fucked up than Barnabas and Jonah’s…

Also, I was so eager to read this I skipped the tags/warnings and completely didn’t realize Mordechai was going to be an actual vampire so that was a VERY fun surprise lmfao.

Barnabas feels like he’s close to learning something about violence and desire, how close they are, how the wires can get crossed.

THIS QUOTE IS EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEE ugh I’m having an aneurysm over how Jonah managed to fashion Barnabas into a creature that could understand him by gifting him to Mordechai for a while… letting Mordechai crack him open at the points where he was already brittle and experience an influx of some of the true darkness of the world. Just a tasty taste. That way when he discovers the truth of Jonah’s occult interests he won’t run away, because he’s already got his own fingers in the mess. He’s already given himself to one horror, why not Jonah? Shave some of the shine off of his morality, make him nice and gray so he won’t contrast so much with Jonah… And satisfying his curiosity at the same time. Two birds.

Oh, also, still sobbing about this line:

he realises that he doesn’t want to wear any colours that Mordechai can’t properly see.

EVERY TIME I let my guard down for ten seconds you smacked me with more of Barnabas being the most precious bleeding heart in the universe!!!!!! He aches so much for the people he’s trying to help and he hates people like Mordechai but part of him also wants to save Mordechai, somehow… maybe recognizes the parts of him that are like these people, still. Nearly faded but not quite gone yet. And as you’ve already established, Barnabas simply cannot let things go. Can’t disappoint people… can’t leave them when he could be doing something. Anything. Augh, FEELINGS.

Of course he knew Mordechai and Jonah were friends, he’d just temporarily believed in a sane and fair universe where things like this don’t happen. 

AND YOU HAD SUCH A PERFECT BALANCE OF HUMOR… This could have been such a feelbad fic, and tbh it still would have been spectacular. But you always eased it at just the right moment to keep it from going off the rails into irretrievable deepdark territory. Fed me little soft moments so I’d still be vulnerable enough to have my HEART RIPPED OUT LATER…

I’m not super interested in the Buried canon-wise but I love how you’ve written Barnabas’ natural affiliation with it… so subtle but powerful? (Of COURSE Jonah was jealous, lmao. He had to work so hard and he’s still not on Barnabas’ level. There’s some kinda beautiful commentary on ambition versus goodwill in there somewhere but I’m too busy nursing my battered little heart right now to articulate it.) It wove its way in and out of the rest of the plot so naturally, too. For some reason it compliments Barnabas’ temperament as I read it in canon just… so well. Was there a discussion about this on the server, and if so, PLEASE tell me about it sometime I’m so fascinated.

Jonah wasn’t even present for a lot of the fic but his characterization was so INTENSE and luminous, Christ… I know I already praised it a bit but. Woof. I wasn’t expecting to get a taste of his POV at the end and I was so excited I kicked my feet (my cat was very disgruntled) like, this line!!!

Now, he thinks there’s some truth in those false statements, in the lies we tell and why we want to be believed.

GOD, YOU’RE REALLY GONNA GIVE ME FEELINGS ABOUT JONAH AND FUTURE-JONAHLIAS IN THE SAME FIC?????? EVIL… I’m so so so fucking here for it, oh my God, Jonah with an amplifying anxiety disorder, THE PRICE OF IMMORTALITY… too bad the Eye doesn’t let you see the future, Jonah, lmao… the line “immortality just made his anxiety turn nuclear” is SEARED into my brain now, I am NOT accepting canon to contradict this ever again. I’ve always wondered how Jonah’s neuroses might have worsened in two entire fucking CENTURIES and I love the way you wrote it. I am fucking. Losing my mind.

There’s so many other things I could comment on, like. The brief but glorious Jonah-grinding-himself-off-on-Barnabas’-thigh shenanigans. Was incredibly hot, and Mordechai’s poor fragile heart breaking, and Barnabas telling Isabel that it’s fine to call him Barny…….. I’m hhhhhhhhHHHH fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m just!! I am incomprehensible!!! Everyone told me this fic was amazing but it’s fucking amazing, Del, what the hell. I’m never gonna be the same after this. The end was SHOCKINGLY sweet and I have WHIPLASH.

………… So, now that I’ve made you read a novel. Hah. Sorry. My point is. I loved every bit of this. It deserved heaps more praise but my eyes are starting to cross. Thx for sharing :’) 

Love,

Tony xx

TONY. TONY THIS MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. FIRSTLY I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THIS. SECOND OF ALL, THANKS TO YOU I’LL BE SCREAMING FROM THE ROOFTOPS FOREVER HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW THIS REVIEW HAS AFFECTED ME? IT’S THE BEST FEEDBACK I’VE EVER RECIEVED IN MY LIFE I FEEL LIKE A FIRSTGRADER GETTING THEIR FIRST GOLD STAR I FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD LIKE I COULD THROW THE JEWEL OF THE SEA OFF THE SHIP AND LEAN OVER THE RAILINGS BECAUSE YOUR ARMS ARE AROUND ME TONY IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND THIS REVIEW HAS BEEN A FIREPLACE KEEPING ME WARM THROUGH THE WINTER MONTHS I LOVE YOU DEARLY FOR THIS YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE CHAMPION IF YOU WERE IN FRONT OF ME RIGHT NOW I WOULD FRENCH KISS YOU WITHOUT HESISTATION UNTIL THE BOTH OF US HAVE RUN OUT OF AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING BLESS YOU TONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[justauthoring]

At First... [Xavier Plympton]

Request: prompt #10 with either Xavier or Michael pls I just wanna see my boys be protective

Prompt: #10 “Don’t touch her!”

Pairing: Xavier Plympton x Reader

Word Count: 1,844

Please don’t plagiarize my work!

Normally, Xavier’s aerobics class was your favourite part of the day.

It was a place where you could hang with your friends, get a little exercise in and most importantly; forget about the world for a little while. And, you’d never complain about getting to see Xavier in those shorts of his, from behind him, and then every once in a while catch his gaze through the mirror, the both of you sweaty, hot and smirking in your galore.

Yeah, you definitely loved getting your Jazzercise on.

At least, you did, before the quote-on-quote new kid strolled into class one day. At first, you hadn’t really thought of it. People came and went, and the only ones who ever really stuck where you and your friends. Most of the time, you barely even talked to anyone outside of your bubble. You’d exchanged a pleasant greeting to the boy, learned his name was Justin  and then went on with the rest of the class.

He managed to catch you just as you were leaving. Normally, Xavier would’ve been with you and the two of you would stop off for lunch or dinner, depending when the class ended, and then Xavier would drive you home (and he’d spend the night sometimes, and other times, he’d go home). But that night, Xavier had insisted on staying behind to work on a new routine and you were too tired to really argue with him and try to convince him to come home. 

So, it was just you in the parking lot. Most had left given that you’d stayed behind a little longer then the rest, as you usually did.

You hadn’t really thought anything of it. You didn’t even think of it when it become apparently clear that the boy was flirting with you. You were, admittedly, flattered, but brushed off his compliment with clear disinterest, hoping Justin would understand your meaning. 

He didn’t.

But still, nothing overly concerning had happened. He’d waved goodbye shortly after, saying he’d see you at the next class and then ran along. Nothing ever really happened until a few weeks in.

You’d maybe, even sort of forgotten about him. Justin tended to linger in the back, hidden by the shadows, even while the class was in session. He never really approached you again like that first night and you never really noticed his lingering stare; something, you realized now, was naive bliss. You do know that Montana had mentioned in passion, a teasing way of saying “the new guy liked you!” and Xavier had gotten all grumpy but that was it.

There were no signs to follow. No signs that would’ve made you concerned. 

And then, by the fifth week, you’d found photos of yourself posted all over your locker door. Somewhere just of you laying in bed or on the couch watching tv, and some -- the more concerning ones -- were of you undressing, getting in the show. However, the most disturbing ones of all were of you and Xavier, naked, in bed, enjoying one another, with a big fat red ‘X’ marked over Xavier’s face.

You didn’t tell anyone. You don’t know why. You didn’t know it was him at the time, of course, but the logical thing would’ve been to call the police; or at least, tell Xavier. Maybe you were scared; of what? You didn’t know. And maybe you’d just wanted to pretend it had never happened and wanted to forget the entire thing, despite how scared and vulnerable it had made you feel.

You threw the photos out. New ones appeared the next day.

You started to feel a lingering stare on you in class. A harsh, intimidating stare on your body as you danced. But when you looked around, you didn’t catch anyone’s eye. It was as if you were imagining it.

You stopped showing up to classes shortly after that. It had started slow at first; coming late, missing a class or two, nothing too intense that you couldn’t just brush it off with a simple and poorly made excuse. But the photos wouldn’t stop and neither would the staring, so much so, that you became paranoid and so you just stopped coming all together.

Xavier, concerned, had come to visit you; wondering why.

You finally told him about the photos and he immediately offered to go to the police. Not so much offered as he did order, saying it was the best solution possible. You’d cried and pleaded with him not to, going on about how you didn’t want to upset whoever it was and didn’t want to waste anybodies time; you were positive it was just some silly prank or... or something. Xavier had relented and stayed by your side the entire night.

You woke up alone.

At first you’d been panicked, but Xavier called saying he was just going to pick up some breakfast. That had managed to ease your nerves enough that you could distract yourself with a book.

Until you heard a knock on your front door and upon opening it, found a photo of you in just your underwear plastered to the front of it.

Which led to you know, locked in your bedroom, pacing, trying to reach Xavier. He didn’t answer the first call, nor the second, but the third you managed to reach him.

“Y/N, i’m just on my--”

“He’s here!” You interrupt with a whispered shriek, biting your lip tightly, a hand pressed against your lips. “He’s here. There was... The-There was a photo of m-me on the fr-fr-front door and I--!”

“Y/N! Y/N! Listen to me, listen to me!” Xavier interrupts your rambling, his voice coming out static over the phone. “Who? The man whose been taking photos of you?”

A sudden thud echoes, causing you to jump. Crouch into your closet, you let out a soft whimper. “I think he’s inside...” You whisper, your eyes screwing shut for a moment as footsteps grow closer and closer.

“He’s what...-- I’m on my way, okay, Y/N? I’ll be there in ten minutes top, just stay on the ph--”

“He’s in the room with me,” you whisper, voice breathless, the haunting sound of your door screeching open causing your heart to accelerate. It felt like you could throw up, the fear coursing through your veins so intense it almost felt like you couldn’t breathe. It felt like your throat was closing in on itself and any second he’d find you and-- “He’s going to find me, Xavier. I’m...”

“I’m on my way. Just stay on the phone. Don’t make a sound. I promise, Y/N, I won’t--”

Whatever he’d been about to say is cut off sharply but your closet door suddenly being yanked open. Your eyes widen, flickering upwards and landing on Justin’s own as your heart sinks. Everything starts to click in that moment and a whimper leaves your limps as he smiles brightly down at you.

“Now, what’re you doing in the closet, Y/N?”

He reaches forward, you flinching by instinct, but he simply pulls the phone out of your grasp, Xavier’s voice echoing into the eerie silence until Justin simply hangs up. For a moment, all is still, you simply staring up at the boy, before a scream tears through your lips as he roughly grabs you by the wrist, yanking you up to your feet and out of the closet. He merely tosses you on your bed, you bouncing slightly in response as you scramble to get a good look at him and gauge his actions.

You try to crawl back as he advances on you, but he easily grabs a hold of your ankles, yanking you towards him.

Pinning your wrists above your head, Justin smirks down at you. “I tried to be nice and send you all those pretty little photos, Y/N,” you whimper as his hand trails across your cheek, brushing back hair, his fingertips cold and threateningly. “But you rejected all of them.” His hand stops around your throat, hand hovering. “That wasn’t very nice.”

“I... I’m sorry,” you whisper, voice shaky. 

He merely brushes your apology aside, hand lowering to the collar of your shirt. Xavier’s shirt. The only thing you’re wearing besides your underwear. Justin’s face twists as he assesses the piece of closing. “I was going to come last night,” he mumbles, “but that idiot came before I could.” He leans forward, inhaling sharply. “You even smell like him.”

His other hand leaves your wrists, moving to the hem of your shirt, his cold hands touching your stomach. Without hesitation, you shoot your leg up, nailing him right in the balls before delivering a sharp slap across his cheek. You quickly scramble off the bed, racing out of your room and down the hall. And you almost make it to the front door, so close actually, until a hand wraps around your wrist, yanking you back and causing you to lose your balance.

You would’ve fallen had Justin not slammed you up against the wall.

“I love you!” He bellows, voice screeching. “Why can’t you just understand that?”

“Get off of me!” You scream, voice piercing as you fight against his grip desperately. “Let go! Don’t touch me-- ahh!” A gasp leaves your lips at the hot pain that flickers across your cheek, head snapping to the right as Justin huffs heavily against you, chest pressed against your own.

His hand slams your pinned wrists against the wall, a cry leaving your lips in the response, as he simply slips his hand under your shirt, touching your bare stomach. You press against the wall, desperate the get away from his touch as he glares down at you.

“You’ll learn,” he mumbles darkly, “that we belong together.”

Your eyes flutter shut in discomfort, tears trailing down your cheeks as he trails upwards, your shirt following his hand and revealing you. However, before he can get any further, the front door slams open and you turn your head to find Xavier. He stops to a halt, panting, his eyes flickering across what’s before him before rage floods his gaze.

“Don’t touch her, you asshole!”

He rushes forward, delivering a nasty right hook before Justin can do anything. Justin falls back in response, a gasp leaving his lips as he loses his balance and smacks his head off the wall, knocking him out. Still pressed against the wall, you pant, chest heaving as you stare down at the pathetic excuse of a man.

There’s a pause before Xavier turns to you. “Y/N?”

Turning to him, breathless and teary-eyed, you let out a simple cry before falling into his arms. Xavier wastes no time in wrapping his arms around your waist, holding you close against him as he runs a hand through your hair. “Shh, it’s okay, babe. I called the police, they’ll be here soon.” Pulling back, he cups both of your cheeks. “He’ll never hurt you again.”

Leaning into his touch, you sniffle, nodding at Xavier.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. So sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

-

Let me know what you thought?

[panda-noosh]

Hello Aticus! I see ‘requests are open’ and immediately a dozen joyful thoughts run through my head! May I request something with an animagus reader or a demigod AU? Thank you for sharing your writing! :)

   the night is always better. darkness keeps you hidden; that’s all you need these days.

    it started a few years ago. you were young, just entering your second year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. you’d heard all about animagus, the magic folk who can change into an animal of their choosing. back then, it was the most bizarre concept to wrap your head around; who could possibly want something like that?

   others in your class thought it was cool. they would spend lessons trying to find the spell for it, but such a spell was always kept hidden very deeply in the textbooks, and maybe rightly so.

    you didn’t need a textbook, though. having an animagus for a brother found to be a helping hand when it came to your own transformations.

    it happened one night in December. it was cold, and honestly, you probably shouldn’t have been out of the castle at that time, but you were getting restless. Filch had been keeping a close eye on you since he last caught you sneaking out of the dorms, meaning your late night trips to the Forbidden Forest have been few and far between. you couldn’t take it any more, though - you needed out. 

    so you got out.

   the Forbidden Forest was just as welcoming as it always has been. you lost yourselves in the trees that night, not even thinking about a transformation, but then it happened. it happened, and there was nothing you could do but let it happen. it wasn’t scary; you didn’t cry out for help, because you’d seen this happen to your brother on plenty of occasions. part of you always thought it would just be a matter of time until you found yourself experiencing the same thing.

    you were a fox. a bit of an anti climax, but it was cool enough.

   that night, you spent hours parading through the snow in your fox form, bouncing up and down, letting the white flakes drift over your head as your tail swooped them out from beneath you; it was the time of your life, and every night after that, you found yourself sneaking through the forest in a form unlike your own, enjoying yourself more than you would ever begin to think you could.

    and now, three years later, and you’re ashamed to say it’s Fred Weasley who catches you out.

   Fred bloody Weasley. the one person in the world who would rather tease you for this transformation than run away screaming. 

    he stands over you, an eyebrow raised. you slip back into human form, landing heavily in the grass with a comedic oomf to really top off your embarrassment. where he even came from, you are unsure, but that doesn’t even matter now because he’s stood over you with his arms folded over his chest and a tiny smile playing on his face, and you honestly just want to hit him.

   “what are you doing out of bed?” you find yourself asking.

   Fred laughs. “i could ask the same about you, y/n, but it looks like i have my answer.” he tilts his head to the side. “when were you gonna tell me you’re an animagus?”

    you scramble to your feet, brushing blades of grass from the seat of your robes. “i wasn’t, because it’s none of your business.”

   “of course not. it would still have been good to know.” he rakes his eyes along your form. for just a second, you have to remind yourself that you are indeed human, you did turn back. what he sees right now is you, just as he knows you to be. “so a fox, huh? did you choose that for yourself, or...”

   “no,” you bark. “it’s not my choice what i turn into. it just kind of happens.”

   “so this is a genetic thing?”

   you fold your arms over your chest, glaring at him. “do you have to ask so many questions?”

    “sorry, love. it’s just not everyday i come into the forest to see one of my pals morphed into a fox.”

    you scowl. “my brother’s an animagus, too.”

   Fred’s features soften. “aaaaah.”

    “it’s honestly not a big deal.”

   “are you registered?”

   you pause. shit. you never even thought of that; for years, you have been skirting around the law in any attempt to keep out of the governments eyes when it comes to your animagus abilities. it’s not like you’re a rebel, but you seriously have no respect for the people in the Ministry, and you would much rather stay as far from them as possible; it’s kind of difficult to do that when they’re keeping an eye on your every move.

   Fred must take your silence as a no, because a smile immediately lights up his face. he laughs, clapping his hands in amusement. “no way! you’re really out here running about as a fox, and the Ministry have no idea?”

    you hiss, darting forward to slap your hand against his mouth. “can you keep your voice down, bloody hell! do you want the whole castle to know?”

   Fred laughs against your palm. “i’m amazed.”

   you pull away, shaking your head. “Fred, please, just leave it alone. don’t tell anyone - not even that brother of yours.”

    Fred rolls his eyes, stuffing his hands in his robes. “i won’t tell a soul. you can trust me.”

    you glare at him. in all honesty, you and Fred have always gotten along; in fact, you find him quite attractive, quite a blast to be around, but he’s really gotten on your nerves now. he just gets around, and you don’t even know how. you have to plan days in advance before you can even think of sneaking out of Hogwarts, and he just happens to be there every time you turn a bloody corner, like it doesn’t cost him a thought.

   but this is just too far. he shouldn’t know about any of this. he shouldn’t know about you.

    you can only hope he doesn’t tell the Ministry anything.

   ---

    two days later, Snape stands at the teachers table and demands attention from everyone. you reluctantly look up from your spell book.

    he doesn’t look too happy, but that really isn’t saying much when it comes to Severus Snape. his long nose points down at the sea of students he stands before, his knobbly hands folded in front of him. as per usual, he takes a minute to just bask you all in silence before finally starting on what he actually wants to announce.

    “it has come to our attention, as a teaching board, that there have been footprints traipsing through the Forbidden Forest recently.”

     nobody gasps. nobody really cares.

   not until Snape says, “the footprints show evidence of an Animagus amongst us.”

    your heart spirals. your head snaps up entirely, mouth running dry. immediately, your hands begin to tremble, and you can’t even think straight; that doesn’t make sense. you make sure to cover your footprints as best as possible every time you leave.

   but then you remember the last time you went in. Fred had shown up, distracted you completely. you must have left your track there. you must have slipped up.

   your eyes dart to the Gryffindor table. Fred, too, has frozen, staring up at Snape with wide, brown eyes. you want to scream at him. you want to tell him to just get up and leave with you right now, because if the school finds out about your abilities, or Fred’s involvement, the two of you will be sent straight to a hearing, and neither of you can afford that. neither of you can deal with that. neither of you can-

    Fred stands up before you can warn him.

   his chair screeches throughout the hall, forcing everyone’s attention to him. people whisper, but you can only focus on his voice when he says, “you idiot; that isn’t Animagus footprints. that’s me taking Doris on a walk at night.”

    Snape blinks. “pardon, Mr Weasley?”

   Fred rolls his eyes, really getting into his role. “Doris, my pet Tibetan fox; she strolls into the Forbidden Forest some nights, and i walk with her so she doesn’t get lost. i thought i’d covered my tracks the other night, but i guess not.” he scoffs, shaking his head. “honestly, Snape, an Animagus. you know full well those are all kept on a leash by the Ministry. imagine one getting through the school without being noticed.”

    Snape’s nostrils flare as a chorus of laughter erupts from the students; even a few teachers join in, the mere idea of an Animagus slipping through their fingers clearly unbelievable. your cheeks heat up, and you duck your head down, heart still hammering in your chest from such a close call. you could scream at Fred, of course, for getting himself into so much trouble, because now he’s just exposed himself for walking around the Forbidden Forest after hours, but god, you could kiss him, too, because he’s basically just saved your life.

    Snape, of course, chastises the Weasley boy in front of everyone, whinging about how rules are rules and Fred will now be doing a detention with him every night until the end of term. Fred takes it all like a champ, nodding along to each punishment before lowering himself into his seat and sending you a sly wink.

    your heart starts thundering for a completely different reason.

   you catch up to him once dinner is finished. he’s waiting on you, leaned against the railing of the staircase with a smirk on his face, his head tilted down just a little bit. you don’t even hold back, instead choosing to jump directly into his arms.

    he laughs, bunding you up as he says, “you have to be more careful next time, Fantastic Fox!”

    you kiss his cheeks over and over. “you. crazy. man.” you pull away, holding him at arms length. “do you know how much trouble you could have gotten into in there?”

    “i did get in a lot of trouble,” he laughs. “but it’s okay. better a few detentions than you getting thrown in Azkaban.”

   you shake your head dumbly. “Fred, you really didn’t have to do that...”

   he shrugs. “i know, but i don’t really have to do anything.”

    and before he can say another dumb comment, you throw yourself forward and kiss him, because you want to, because nobody has ever done anything like that for you before, and honestly, Fred is just a really attractive man who is really nice, even though he tries hiding it from everyone.

   when you pull away, his eyes are wide, glazed over with a dopey smile to really add to the ensemble. you roll your eyes, swiping your finger along his bottom lip. 

   “close your mouth, Weasley, or you’ll catch flies.”

   “can you turn into flies, too?”

[strawberrysoup]

Let’s Review || Chapter 15

Peter Parker knew that his big sister would do anything for him to be safe and happy. She’d given up everything for him twice over already and would do it again in a heartbeat. And that’s why, when the criminal mastermind Tony Stark started inextricably following him around, he didn’t say a word. Because he knew without a doubt Penny would do whatever she had to if it meant keeping Peter safe. He had to protect her, just like she always protected him. He never considered what would happen if Stark decided both Parker siblings were worth taking. Never considered who else in Stark’s inner circle would agree. He just wanted to protect her and yet somehow, they both ended up with needles in their necks.

relationship: Steve Rogers/Original Female Character/Bucky Barnes, background Peter Parker/Tony Stark rating: Explicit warnings: Dark Steve Rogers, Dark Bucky Barnes, Dark Tony Stark, Dark Avengers, kidnapping, non-con/dub-con elements, underage Peter Parker, emotional and psychological abuse, very dark casual reminder: this story is r o u g h. themes of rape, kidnapping, power imbalances, etc.. This story does not depict healthy or safe relationships. Trigger warning for blood. 

Steve could tell she didn't remember when she woke up. It was still dark and she was cocooned between them, her body not even touching the bed but instead splayed across theirs. Her legs had tangled with his during the night, one hitched over his thigh while the other brushed against his shin, squished between him and Bucky. She was mostly laid out across his torso, flat on her stomach with her head rested in the crook of his neck. Her lips nearly brushed his skin every time she breathed, soft, sleepy sounds escaping. 

Several precious moments went by, where she didn't tense up or try to pull away. She curled her neck down, forehead brushing his skin like she wanted to burrow into his chest and tucked her arms closer to her torso, fingers leaving goosebumps in their wake as she shifted. 

It was a small, squeaky mewing from the end of the bed that caused her reaction. Her movements stopped all at once, her breathing freezing in her lungs. The cats, of course, served as a reminder of the night before. After all, they’d been a supplication gift. 

An “oh sorry we made you throw up three times because we tortured a man in front of you” present. “Remember that time you watched me systematically brutalize another human being? Take some cats while we pretend we didn’t do anything wrong.” 

He felt how hard she swallowed in the short, jerky movements that followed, as she remembered Rumlow’s screams with every hit. His eyes had swollen completely shut over the course of the hour, blood was pouring from his mouth where teeth had become entirely dislodged and then, of course, he’d gone and ripped the man’s finger off completely. 

It began again all at once, with Penny shoving against his chest so hard she practically threw herself off the bed. She teetered on the edge for several seconds in panic before visibly deciding to fall rather than reach for help. A slow sigh escaped Steve at the resulting thud; they were back to step one, where she was so afraid that she abandoned any concern for her safety. Their bed could’ve just as easily been the one in the spare room several floors away, the scene played out just the same, if short a bit of violence. Steve went to the end of the bed just the same, only for her to pop up on her own accord before he could help her. 

It was like any and all progress had been erased. Penny’s eyes were darting around the room, searching for any possible escapes. She almost stumbled over her own feet in her haste to back away from him, arms out to her sides for both balance and to keep him at a distance as he approached. 

“Penny, doll—”

“P-Please, please I’ll be better,” Bucky had sat up by this point, the blanket pooled over his waist, face twisting upon hearing Penny’s whimpering, “I can do better, I swear.” 

When Buck stood up, a keening cry escaped her and her back hit the wall from trying to prevent them from getting too close, "wait, please! Wait, just wait, please! Please, please!" 

Please became a much more important facet of her vocabulary when she was trying to Be Sweet. Usually it was when she didn't know how to make them happy, when she didn't know what behavior constituted as breaking the rules. He knew she didn't necessarily care about them being happy, she was trying anything she could to avoid punishments. It would've been cute if it weren't accompanied by tears and violent, fearful shaking. Steve stopped approaching, motioning for Bucky to do the same, and held his hands up placatingly. 

"Take a deep breath, Penny," he ordered gently, "try to rationalize baby. We haven't been aggressive, haven't done anything that would make you think we're angry. Just try to think, Penny, you're not in any danger, we're not going to hurt you, you're safe here." 

There was a visible fight or flight reaction. Her muscles locked and both Steve and Bucky had to immediately drop into defensive stances—Penny chose fight 9 times out of 10 with no hesitation or forethought. She had a tendency to get the drop on them too, just because her movements were always so brutal. Whoever taught Penny self-defense must’ve put a lot of emphasis on disabling an attacker and disengaging from the situation, because she wanted to cause as much bodily damage as possible. It was actually almost impressive but neither of them was looking to receive a cock shot any time soon.

“Penny, you don’t have to be better,” Bucky implored quietly, staying far across the room just in case he needed to play back up to Steve in the event of violence, “we know how stressful this is for you, precious. You’re going through a really hard time.” 

Steve was quick to nod in agreement, “you’re so scared baby, let us help you. Let us take care of you. That’s all we want.” 

Her dark eyes darted between them for several prolonged seconds, face crumbling as she did so before she burst into tears. She slid down the wall, coming to rest in a crumpled pile on the floor. Both soldiers immediately advanced, dropping down to the ground on either side of her and simultaneously engulfing her in their arms. Please, please, please. She was just repeating the words over and over through sobs, her hands shaking as she held them in front of her, elbows curled against her sides. It was a defenseless position, one that desperately sought space and projected don’t touch me, stop touching me, let go.

"Shhhh, shhhh, shhhh," Steve's lips brushed her temple, both his and Bucky's hands running over any skin they could find. 

She'd never admit it, never tell them, but the skin to skin contact was immediately successful. She'd resigned to quietly crying, spread across both of their laps. Steve carefully shifted her to lay chest to chest with him, catching the mass of her curly hair to fall away from her face. 

"I hate how scared you are baby," he murmured after a few moments, the three of them comfortably settled in a pile, "we don't want you to be upset. All we want is for you to be happy, Penny doll. We want to make you happy, for you to be happy."

The skin contact was brutally unfair; Penny was touch starved in an almost incapacitating way. Her skin was on fire from the sensations of their hands, her brain flooding with happy chemicals despite how much she hated them. She didn't want to be touched. They were monsters among men but somehow she leaned in anyway, absorbing the body heat. Her cheek brushed Steve's bare chest, eyes slipping shut at the sensation of his skin beneath hers. 

She’d been scared for ages now. Fear had permeated her entire existence since the moment she’d searched for Tony Stark online, her heart beat with a steady thrum of underlying terror at all times. The fear had been real when she’d woken up in the Tower when the soldiers’ purpose was revealed and when she realized Stark had taken Peter. It had gone effete to a degree, the intensity depleting with the consistency. 

This fear was different. It was overwhelming and all-encompassing. Tony Stark was dangerous and powerful and she’d been so, so afraid of him. She’d been afraid of his power over everyone he came in contact with, the overwhelming control he seemed to have over his world and everything in his orbit. But her fear of the soldiers was worse. Never in her life had there been such a dire and immediate threat to her safety. She was literally wrapped in the arms of men who would rip a man’s finger off and shove it into his mouth. To prove a point. They would do that just to prove a point.  

What if they got sick of her fighting them? What would they do when their infatuation with her wore off? She knew very clearly that Peter was the prime target in this whole situation, that she was the equivalent of a kid's toy and could be thrown away with the same level of apathy. She, personally, was not safe and it had honestly never been so clear to her before. 

Peter was going to be alone, after everything she did to make sure he wouldn't be. Paul and Olivia would've taken care of him, would've loved him like a little brother just like she had. Penny had no delusions; she was going to die and Peter was going to live surrounded by monsters for the rest of his life. 

She'd failed him, in the worst possible way, Penny had failed him. 

Bucky carefully arranged Penny to rest completely on Steve, standing up and walking to the bed to collect the weighted blanket they’d brought out the night before. The blond helped him arrange it around her, cocooning her in the fabric. She was covered in goosebumps but felt like she was burning up, a shiver went down her spine and her teeth clenched together to prevent them from chattering. Over her head, the soldiers spoke with nothing more than facial expressions and minute hand gestures. Small sighs escaped both of them and Steve arched his neck to rest his forehead against the crown of her hair. 

“I’m gonna stay home with you today, okay precious?” He murmured, “We’ll rest, play with the kittens. Do your plants need to be watered?” 

Penny felt like her bones were expanding under her skin, pressing out and out and out until they burst through her flesh and ripped her entire body to pieces— a hair raising sensation that almost equaled the substantial level of unrelenting terror she felt at the thought of being alone with Steve all day long. Did they forget she’d watched him rip a man’s finger off about twelve hours ago? Because she had. She was almost sure she’d seen it. 

But it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what happened, because they didn’t care. They didn’t care how she felt, how her stomach was twisting into such tight knots she felt like she’d never eat again. Nothing about her mattered to them beyond a surface level obsession. 

“Ss... some of.. them,” the words barely escaped, a desperate attempt to placate the psychopaths surrounding her with a response; she had to make them happy. She had to make them happy or she was literally going to die. 

She didn’t see the glance exchanged over her head, the sad expression on Steve’s face; her eyes were wide open, moving even but she was hardly saw anything but blurs. Between the tears and the near mental breakdown, she was blind to the way both men seemed almost lost. 

“How about we go make breakfast,” Steve asked softly, getting to his feet and carefully setting Penny on hers, his hands on her hips to keep her steady. 

A jerky nod was his only response and Bucky sighed a little, leaning over to kiss her forehead before heading into the bathroom; Steve might be staying home, but he’d need to get into the ‘office’ by about 9 A.M. to prevent Tony from pitching a fit. He’d take over the blond’s work for the day, some internal investigation Steve had been working on. His interrogations could always wait— if there was one thing he and Stark agreed on, it was that anticipation was its own form of torture.

Rumlow would need several days to stew before he and Steve returned. That was the kind of anticipation Bucky really like causing. A bone deep chill that grew worse and worse with each passing hour, until the victim was a shivering mass curled up on the floor. His lips twisted as he stepped out of the shower and quickly dressed in work clothes. Usually he liked causing that kind of anticipation, but the image in his head replayed Penny sliding down the wall bawling, over and over. Their poor girl was a mess and it was at least 30% their fault. 

Sure, Tony was largely at fault and Peter had a hand in it all, no matter how unwittingly. And Penny had proved she obviously needed a lesson. But seeing her so scared hurt his heart, especially since he had a part in causing it. 

It was hard knowing that Penny didn't believe how much they adored her. They'd waited a hundred years for her, endured countless agonies and survived it all, and somehow were found worthy of finding their doll at the end of it. Fate had tried to keep them from her, had tried everything to prevent them from their happy ending, and fate had failed. She was their supplication present, sent by whatever monsters had put them through hell for so long, and they adored her. 

They'd known from the beginning, when they made their decision to take her, that Penny's acceptance would take a lot of time and effort on their part. The constant rejections were frustrating and depressing but they could handle it. That didn't mean they wouldn't do anything in their power to shorten the time and suffering. It was likely time to call in the big guns. 

"JARVIS, tell everyone I need a meeting during lunch today," he sighed, pulling his hair back into a bun, "we need some strategic assistance." 

"I'll alert you once I have received responses, Sargeant." 

"Thanks buddy," Bucky replied absently, adjusting his shirt sleeves as he stepped out of the bathroom and into their room. 

His ears picked up the sound of shattering glass as he approached the living room, stopping him in his tracks. Anxiety flooded the entire apartment, tension rising up to choke him.

"I d-didn't mean to," Penny's voice was hardly more than a whisper, Bucky wouldn't have heard it if he hadn't doubled timed it to the kitchen as soon as he regained control. 

The sink was still running behind her while she faced Steve at the oven, wet, soapy hands still held out at her waist where she'd been holding the glass now broken on the tile. Her eyes were locked on the floor, pupils blown wide with terror.

"Penny—" 

"I'm sorry!" Penny dropped to her knees immediately, brutally shredding her skin and reaching out to begin sweeping the glass into a pile with her hands, "I'll clean it, I'm sorry!" 

Bucky blew past Steve, shoes crunching over the glass as he scooped Penny off the floor and deposited her onto the counter. Her blood was smeared over the white tile, a nearly nauseating sight to the soldiers. The blond had already darted off for the first aid kit and come back, easily battling away Penny's attempts to keep him from touching her wounds. 

"JARVIS, call for Dr. Banner immediately!" 

"Dr. Banner is en route with the emergency kit." 

"Penny, baby— Jesus baby, why did you do that? JARVIS, open the apartment door so Dr. Banner can get in once the elevator arrives."

"Please, I'm so sorry!" She sobbed, "I lost my grip, I swear! I didn't mean to, please—"

"We know, baby, we know!" Bucky cooed, trying with Steve to carefully restrain her flailing limbs and steady her head without making her feel trapped, blood covering their hands, "it was an accident baby, it's okay! Steve?"

He has gauze in hand and was trying to clean her knees without pressing the glass further into her skin, "come on baby, stay still for me." 

"Penny you've got to calm down before Dr. Banner gets here or we'll have to give you a sedative so he can clean your wounds, do you understand?" Bucky caught her chin in his flesh hand, trying to ignore the sight of the blood he smeared over her chin and cheek. 

Penny visibly tried to reel herself in, sobs coming out in bubbling breaths and her entire body shaking. The soldiers carefully cooed around her as she quieted, bloody hands running over her bare skin. She was streaked red, her legs and neck and face. It looked like she’d been assaulted, all bloody and small and trembling. The elevator dinged and Bruce quickly made his way in to the kitchen, shouldering them both out of his way.

“JARVIS told me what happened,” he stated, setting the emergency kit next to Penny on the counter, “Penny, sweetheart, try to take deep breaths, okay? I need you to be still.” 

“She’s trying,” Bucky snapped, hand wrapping around to cup the back of her neck. 

“She’s already calmed down a lot, Bruce,” Steve stepped in before his boyfriend could get anymore heated, “just give her a second, I think it’s the adrenaline.” 

Bucky sighed and glanced over at the doctor remorsefully, “sorry Bruce. I’ll clean up the glass.” 

But when the brunet tried to pull away, Penny let out a sharp cry and latched onto his arm. A whine of pain followed, the movement pushing glass further into her hands, but she tightened her grip anyway. She was saying something, but the words were Hebrew and none of the men understood what she was trying to say. 

“Shit, it’s okay doll,” he scooped Penny up into his arms and walked over to the kitchen table, swinging a chair out and settling into it with her on his lap, “here baby, let me hold you.” 

The elevator dinged once again, this time revealing Stark and, surprisingly, Pepper, meaning JARVIS must've either left the door open after Bruce came in, or Tony has used his override. Steve did what Bucky called the ‘confused puppy’ head tilt but was waved off by the pair as they walked into the kitchen. Both were dressed to the nines, likely for some sort of press conference. Pepper was one of the only people who could properly reign Tony in and regularly made a point of showing up to supervise him during press events. The soldiers hadn’t even been aware she’d gotten back from her most recent business trip.

“JARVIS said we had an accident,” Tony came to crouch in front of Penny with Bruce, eyes scanning over her knees and outstretched hands, “oh, angel, you did a number on yourself didn’t you?” 

Quiet, hiccuping cries continued to to escape Penny but she gave no other response. She hadn’t even acknowledged Stark’s presence, which just emphasized how distraught she was; Penny was hypervigilant around Tony 90% of the time. 

“Poor thing,” Pepper sighed, hand rested on her forehead, “we need to get a psychiatrist in here.” 

Penny yelped loudly when Bruce dug a small piece of glass from her knee, jerking against Bucky’s hold unintentionally, “I’m not that kind of doctor.” 

“We know, we know,” Tony brushed his words off, standing up and dragging a hand over his beard, “get someone on it, Pep. We’ve got to get going or we’ll be late, Rogers—”

“I’m staying home with her today, Buck’ll go in once she calms down,” the blond cut him off before he could finish. 

The older man nodded, leaning over to press a kiss to Penny’s forehead before standing up, “I’ll be back later, we’ve got a press conference.” 

The pair exited just as quickly as they’d entered, Pepper giving JARVIS orders while Tony talked incessantly at her. It was the kind of dynamic that to a stranger looked like regular behavior, but the soldiers and Bruce knew it revealed their discomfort; Pepper made very polite requests to JARVIS, always, because she knew how annoying it was to have orders barked at her and Tony didn’t speak over her, out of a sense of respect he only had very a select few people. They weren’t sure if it was Penny’s current state, or the press event they were likely on their way to, or both, but Tony and Pepper were definitely distraught.

“You’re doing very well, Penny,” Bruce spoke quietly as he moved from her right knee to her left knee, having successfully removed all of the glass, “there’s not too much in this one, it’s just a little deeper. Just squeeze Bucky’s hands when it hurts, okay?” 

The trembling brunette nodded, still hiccuping every few seconds. It took a good half hour for Bruce to get all of the glass out and after double checking his work three separate times, he finally bandaged her up. Sitting in her panties and an oversized henley in Bucky's lap, with bandages on her hands and knees, she lookes like a little girl who'd fallen while playing outside. It was almost like when Steve had been so small, when Bucky could still cradle him in his lap. His arms squeezed around her waist and he kissed the back of her head softly. 

"Alright Penny, we're finished," Bruce gave her a smile and stood up, handing off some sterile packaging to Steve to be thrown away, "just keep an eye out for signs of infection, change the bandages regularly, and you'll be good to go." 

"Thanks for coming, Bruce," the blond sounded just as sad as he felt as he led him out towards the open front door and into the hallway that held the elevator. 

"The emotional trauma will recede, Steve," Bruce put a hand on the taller man's shoulder, "she's going to be okay, humans are incredibly adaptable. You just have to keep pressing." 

"It's just hard when she's so sad," Steve sighed, "we knew she would be scared, but I hate that we're making her sad." 

"That's because you're a good person," Bruce's face cracked into a crooked smile, "now, go comfort her."